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NEW HEADCANON UNLOCKED

tim drake was totally obsessed with the waynes long before his batman & robin obsession. i mean, the only reason he figured out who they were was because of dick’s quadruple somersault which he saw at haley’s circus when he was like, three or something. or heard that dick could do it depending on how you see it.

picture a young, dick grayson at a gala with the distinct feeling that he’s being watched. cue camera cutting to tiny!tim watching him behind a curtain.

tim searching up anything he could get his hands on of haley’s circus. his obsession leading to him admiring bruce wayne more as well. imagine him reading through newspapers about bruce and dick because he wanted to know more about them. imagine him watching them and alfred through his bedroom window with binoculars like a true stalker.

tim slowly gaining an interest in batman and robin at the time, and finally seeing robin do a quadruple somersault and connecting the dots. suddenly his interest turns into another obsession, which he seems to have a lot of.

cue tim stalking the bats both in costume and out. tim falling in love with the second robin as well but also taking the occasional trip to bludhaven to take photos of the new hero, nightwing.

tim learning gymnastics and even a bit of self defense to be more like them. tim doing more etiquette lessons so he could go to more events to see the waynes.

basically tim loves both the waynes and the bats, and if his younger self saw him as both of those now he’d probably explode.

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New headcanon unlocked

“You wanna fight someone, you fight me” seemed like a silly rule at first. but after there was more than one batkid living in the Manor at the same time, suddenly the prospect of having to spar with Bruce on the mats because you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing a punch at Tim earlier is terrifying.

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Who are they cyber bullying 😭😭😭

he's very helpful

#dc #dcu #dcau #dc comics #dc characters #dc universe #dc fanart #shitpost #dc comics art #dc comics fanart #Batfam #jason todd #bruce wayne

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BATFAM PROMPT:

Feral Talon Dad Bruce Wayne AU

The bat kids are raised by a Cryptid zombie horror murder man who loves them very very much❤️

Bruce is sent to kill the Graysons by the court of Owls and kidnap their child to make him a Talon.

Dick witnesses the whole thing but because he’s so young in this AU like basically a toddler he’s terrified and when Bruce picks him up to take him back to the Owls Dick snuggles into him and sobs and screeches and he’s angry and confused and scared and tiny but This massive murder monster who killed his parents is the only comfort he has.

Dick is alone and he has no one. No one is coming to save him, no one is coming for him , his mama and daddy are gone and the only thing left is …. Whatever the hell this cryptid horror zombie is.

So Dick, takes his comfort where he can, which today comes in form of zombi does Bruce Wayne and that’s what it takes i guess.

Bruce breaks out of conditioning and vanishes into thin air with the kid. Only he doesn’t go back to the court.

Maybe this Bruce takes baby Grayson away and raises him as a feral murder baby.

They live secluded and away from anyone and anything. Maybe the mountains in Nanda parbat. They’re so discreet and good the league of assassins doesn’t even know their mountains are technically compromised.

Bruce raises Dick in complete secrecy. Literally like a wild child, Bruce occasionally travels to the town over to bring back toys and books and whatever he finds that he thinks would make Dick happy.

Dick sees and longs for peoples and connections and more. He loves Bruce but Bruce is basically like Ariel’s dad WORSE he’s basically mother gothel, he’s seen so many horrors and he’s so paranoid. He just wants his son to stay alive and away from any harm.

keeping Dixk locked away and safe from the Owls that mean him horrific torture and agony. Safe from the world, Safe with Daddy😭❤️.

SIGN LANGUAGE ENTHUSIAST BATFAM HEADCANON.

Bruce’s voice is … zombified and uncomfortable to use, so he teaches himself sign language and then teaches Dick. They invent their own dialect. Just for them😭

Dick gets big enough to want to see the world, to understand what happened, to find himself outside of his adopted eldritch Dad, and MAYBE! Make a damn friend like he’s been seeing in those picture books Bruce brings for him every week.

He “runs away” in a fit of teenage rebellion or whatever you wanna call it, after Dick gets caught sneaking into a village a couple kilometres from their Cosy little cave they like to call home.

Bruce is furious and terrified and he’s everything a scared father is after finding your kid missing from their room when they were supposed to be home hours ago.

Dick explodes in frustration and tears and off he goes.

He goes back to the beginning. To Gotham.

A half deadly Half sunshine all Feral Dick Grayson is roaming the world all alone when he stumbles across a considerably less feral

Less deadly Jason Todd.

Jay is an orphan and this weirdly affectionate clueless terror of a guy just imprinted on him

and won’t leave him alone.

I mean Scary bird boy is a stage 5 dumbass, zero bark, Zero bite 100% cuddles kinda guy.

(Seriously this dude has no concept of personal space and it’s bordering on infuriating) but Jason is like 99.9% sure he just saw him down crime alley snapping the resident rapists necks.

The men that call girls avoided and the police did isn’t care to arrest, so clearly bird boy is not a bad guy but he’s definitely not Harmless either.

Jason likes his style though.

Maybe the court of owls tries going after Jason or tries to kidnap Dick again.

Bruce finds them in the nick of time and slaughters every single one of the Owls once and for all.

Shenanigans ensue and they all bond.

Love love love. Bruce literally adopts him the minute he sees him.

Bruce and Dick teach Jay sign language.

Jason teaches Bruce and Dick how to read.

Jason loves his feral dad and brother.

MAYBE! Tim parents were Owls.

The rich wealthy elites of Gotham succumb to their nefarious ways in an ironic and cathartic end, survived by their heir Timothy Jackson Drake. Who up until now they had been grooming into becoming the next Owl man, he’s been trained to kill and torture and every other bad guy skills he needs to be their evil little successor.🫡

Bruce gets rid of them though.

WOMP WOMP.

Maybe after killing Timmy’s parents Bruce is just like…

Bruce: awwwwww this reminds me of how Dick’s surprise adoption went!

Tim:…. Bro you can’t just murder my parents and call this a surprise adoption.

Bruce: we can call this a kidnapping if you wanna keep it 💯 but either way you’re coming home with me

Tim: …. I ain’t even like em like that fr. Let me just pack a bag real quick.

The Drakes parenting was abhorrent so after Bruce kidnaps him ,Tim is viciously violent at first but after Bruce shows Tim patience and kindness.

Tim develops Stockholm syndrome like instantly and just latches onto Bruce like it’s the first instance of true love and care he’s ever felt.

Jason is actually the most normal and well

adjusted out of his Psychotic family. Ironically he’s the only one out of all of them that hasn’t killed someone lol.

Tim latches on violently to Dick & Jason, it’s adorable and scary and very creepy in a wholesome way. Tim absorbs any kind of attention like a sponge and has separation anxiety. He likes to watch them sleep and follow them every where they go like a puppy, only he does it in the shadows and takes candid pictures of them he collects religiously.

He’s a complete weirdo.

Dick finds him Absolutely delightful, he wants to gobble him all up and cuddle at every opportunity, he enables all Of his bad habits and Jason does his best to damage control and encourage Tim to dabble in more healthy hobbies and ways of showing affection but ultimately Dick Grayson remains undefeated as a bad influence.

Dick is a good big brother, so obviously he’s gotta participate in his baby brothers love language so Timmy can feel seen and appreciated.

So now Jason has TWO stalkers shadowing him everywhere he goes. 3 when Bruce is feeling sentimental.

Jason tolerates his families psychotic and feral behaviour because he loves them more then life itself and if anyone else said anything like that about them he’d snap their necks.

Jason shows his affection in normal ways like beating up peoples trying to start a fight with his brothers and cooking for them because they can’t cook to save their lives.

Sometimes Jason will wonder on how exactly Dixk survived all those years in that cave with an immortal Bruce who doesn’t need to eat.

(Bruce would catch wild animals and Dixk

Would eat the meat raw, sometimes he’d hold his blood soaked hand full of flesh out wanting to share with dad, but Bruce would just drag Dick closer to him and nudge him to keep eating his dinner)

Jason feels bad and bakes him sugary monstrosities included but not limited too:

Oreo chocolate chip maple soaked marshmallow pancakes.

Sour candy lucky charm jam filled donuts.

Triple Chocolate Nutella and peanut butter Reese cookies.

Jason is appropriately horrified at what he’s created every time.

But Dick tasted sugar for the first time and doesn’t know how to act.

The kids are living their best lives but Bruce Is SPIRALLING.

The more kids Bruce acquires the more stressed he gets.

There’s a really angsty scene where Bruce breaks down holding onto his kids and crying. He’s not a monster, he just wants these kids to be safe. He doesn’t wanna kill anymore, he doesn’t wanna hurt things anymore.

He wants to go home with his babies.

He wants to take all of them back to their busted creepy cave in nanda parbat.

But Dickie Isn’t a baby anymore, he wants his family close but he also wants MORE, he wants to be around people he wants to discover the world. Jason was born and raised in Gotham and Bruce can’t in good conscience rip his life apart like that.

And then there’s Timmy. Honestly the Tim is this AU is an unhinged obsessive gremlin, he just goes wherever his family wants to go, nothing else really matters to him but them.

And so Bruce decides to stay in Gotham and hides them all in an abandoned building. It’s kind of like a nest.

Bruce stashes his babies in a Makeshift safe house until he can figure out a way to make all this work.

Maybe Alfred finds their weird little makeshift Family when he stumbles into their safe house and manages not to get immediately killed.

Alfred is VERY worried about the state in which these kids are living.

He vows to lure them and their Dad to a safer better living arrangement.

Maybe Bruce gets severely hurt and the kids kidnap Alfred to patch Bruce up.

Alfred is appropriately horrified at the undead creature growling and hissing while he treats their mortally terminal wounds, but keeps as much composure as an ex-military general would about it.

Bruce like totally imprints on Alfred And like a cat, he drags each and every one of his kids into Alfred life for him to babysit and look after while Bruce goes out to do whatever zombie dads do.

Alfred has no choice in the matter and has effectively acquired spontaneous grandkids and a son.

Bruce: daddy?

Alfred: …. Boy do I look like-⁉️

They move in with Alfred basically over night.

Damian is either created Through the league of assassins who stole the courts strongest talon’s DNA (Bruce’s DNA) to recreate it. Or any other way I guess I donno? Maybe Talia and Bruce got jiggy with It at one point when they were in those mountains. PFFFF LOL GIVE ME IDEAS.

Gonna run with the first idea ?

Damian is created in a lab, Maybe the Drakes latest project was too recreate their greatest success which had been Talon!Bruce.

Tim revisits his parents lab randomly and discovers this. An abandoned lab and abandoned cryogenic chamber containing a baby.

Tim grabs the kids and runs back home.

Jason is exasperated and Alfred panics a bit cause…. Huh?!?!

Jason: Seriously guys? We can’t afford Another surprise adoption right now.

Alfred: do you mean a “kidnapping”

Jason: don’t be mean! It’s their love language 😡

Alfred: wonderful… is it safe to assume I’ll be raising yet another grandchild?

Jason: that’s the spirit, anyway we gotta find a much bigger apartment than this, it’s getting crowded.

Alfred: Ah, my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience caused by my oversight. It seems I should have anticipated my being abducted by a feral street urchin and his entourage of lethal pets. Quite the oversight on my part, I’ll begin apartment hunting right away sir.

Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian: *living their best life while Alfred tries to wrangle them out of shenanigans*

Anyways They take Damian in and he’s just as feral and eldritch horror as his daddy. He’s got his big brother’s trademark behaviours too!

Tim’s severely anti social mess , Dick’s creepy uncanny valley nature and Jason’s love for baking!

It’s so sweet how much he takes after his sibling and Bruce couldn’t be more proud of his litter of horror.

Alfred is honestly such a trooper through all this, salute the GOAT.

I wrote this on a whim! If y’all wanna hear more about this AU, if you want it written, let me know!

#batfam #batfam prompt #batman fanfiction #batman #batfam fanfic #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #talon au #talon #the court of owls #court of owls #Talon!Bruce #feral Batfam au #feral Batfam #batbros #big brother batfam #fanfiction prompts #Batfam fanfiction prompt #batdad #wholesome

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DUDE I HAVE *BEEEN* SAYING THIS?

PROMPT: BRUCE IS A FERAL TALON DAD AU

All the Batkids are absolutely feral and unhinged because they were basically raised by an eldritch horror.

Maybe this Bruce takes baby Grayson away and raises him as a feral murder baby.

They live secluded and away from anyone and anything. Maybe the mountains in Nanda parbat. They’re so discreet and good the league of assassins doesn’t even know their mountains are technically compromised.

Bruce raises Dick in complete secrecy. Literally like a wild child, Bruce occasionally travels to the town over to bring back toys and books and whatever he finds that he thinks would make Dick happy.

Dick sees and longs for peoples and connections and more. He loves Bruce but Bruce is basically like Ariel’s dad WORSE he’s basically mother gothel, he’s seen so many horrors and he’s so paranoid. He just wants his son to stay alive and away from any harm.

keeping Dixk locked away and safe from the Owls that mean him horrific torture and agony. Safe from the world, Safe with Daddy😭❤️.

SIGN LANGUAGE ENTHUSIAST BATFAM HEADCANON.

Bruce’s voice is … zombified and uncomfortable to use, so he teaches himself sign language and then teaches Dick. They invent their own dialect. Just for them😭

Dick gets big enough to want to see the world, to understand what happened, to find himself outside of his adopted eldritch Dad, and MAYBE! Make a damn friend like he’s been seeing in those picture books Bruce brings for him every week.

He “runs away” in a fit of teenage rebellion or whatever you wanna call it, after Dick gets caught sneaking into a village a couple kilometres from their Cosy little cave they like to call home.

Bruce is furious and terrified and he’s everything a scared father is after finding your kid missing from their room when they were supposed to be home hours ago.

Dick explodes in frustration and tears and off he goes.

He goes back to the beginning. To Gotham.

A half deadly Half sunshine all Feral Dick Grayson is roaming the world all alone when he stumbles across a considerably less feral

Less deadly Jason Todd.

Jay is an orphan and this weirdly affectionate clueless terror of a guy just imprinted on him

and won’t leave him alone.

I mean Scary bird boy is a stage 5 dumbass, zero bark, Zero bite 100% cuddles kinda guy.

(Seriously this dude has no concept of personal space and it’s bordering on infuriating) but Jason is like 99.9% sure he just saw him down crime alley snapping the resident rapists necks.

The men that call girls avoided and the police did isn’t care to arrest, so clearly bird boy is not a bad guy but he’s definitely not Harmless either.

Jason likes his style though.

Maybe the court of owls tries going after Jason or tries to kidnap Dick again.

Bruce finds them in the nick of time and slaughters every single one of the Owls once and for all.

Shenanigans ensue and they all bond.

Love love love. Bruce literally adopts him the minute he sees him.

Bruce and Dick teach Jay sign language.

Jason teaches Bruce and Dick how to read.

Jason loves his feral dad and brother.

MAYBE! Tim parents were Owls.

The rich wealthy elites of Gotham succumb to their nefarious ways in an ironic and cathartic end, survived by their heir Timothy Jackson Drake. Who up until now they had been grooming into becoming the next Owl man, he’s been trained to kill and torture and every other bad guy skills he needs to be their evil little successor.🫡

Bruce gets rid of them though.

WOMP WOMP.

Maybe after killing Timmy’s parents Bruce is just like…

Bruce: awwwwww this reminds me of how Dick’s surprise adoption went!

Tim:…. Bro you can’t just murder my parents and call this a surprise adoption.

Bruce: we can call this a kidnapping if you wanna keep it 💯 but either way you’re coming home with me

Tim: …. I ain’t even like em like that fr. Let me just pack a bag real quick.

The Drakes parenting was abhorrent so after Bruce kidnaps him ,Tim is viciously violent at first but after Bruce shows Tim patience and kindness.

Tim develops Stockholm syndrome like instantly and just latches onto Bruce like it’s the first instance of true love and care he’s ever felt.

Jason is actually the most normal and well

adjusted out of his Psychotic family. Ironically he’s the only one out of all of them that hasn’t killed someone lol.

Tim latches on violently to Dick & Jason, it’s adorable and scary and very creepy in a wholesome way. Tim absorbs any kind of attention like a sponge and has separation anxiety. He likes to watch them sleep and follow them every where they go like a puppy, only he does it in the shadows and takes candid pictures of them he collects religiously.

He’s a complete weirdo.

Dick finds him Absolutely delightful, he wants to gobble him all up and cuddle at every opportunity, he enables all Of his bad habits and Jason does his best to damage control and encourage Tim to dabble in more healthy hobbies and ways of showing affection but ultimately Dick Grayson remains undefeated as a bad influence.

Dick is a good big brother, so obviously he’s gotta participate in his baby brothers love language so Timmy can feel seen and appreciated.

So now Jason has TWO stalkers shadowing him everywhere he goes. 3 when Bruce is feeling sentimental.

Jason tolerates his families psychotic and feral behaviour because he loves them more then life itself and if anyone else said anything like that about them he’d snap their necks.

Jason shows his affection in normal ways like beating up peoples trying to start a fight with his brothers and cooking for them because they can’t cook to save their lives.

Sometimes Jason will wonder on how exactly Dixk survived all those years in that cave with an immortal Bruce who doesn’t need to eat.

(Bruce would catch wild animals and Dixk

Would eat the meat raw, sometimes he’d hold his blood soaked hand full of flesh out wanting to share with dad, but Bruce would just drag Dick closer to him and nudge him to keep eating his dinner)

Jason feels bad and bakes him sugary monstrosities included but not limited too:

Oreo chocolate chip maple soaked marshmallow pancakes.

Sour candy lucky charm jam filled donuts.

Triple Chocolate Nutella and peanut butter Reese cookies.

Jason is appropriately horrified at what he’s created every time.

But Dick tasted sugar for the first time and doesn’t know how to act.

The kids are living their best lives but Bruce Is SPIRALLING.

The more kids Bruce acquires the more stressed he gets.

There’s a really angsty scene where Bruce breaks down holding onto his kids and crying. He’s not a monster, he just wants these kids to be safe. He doesn’t wanna kill anymore, he doesn’t wanna hurt things anymore.

He wants to go home with his babies.

He wants to take all of them back to their busted creepy cave in nanda parbat.

But Dickie Isn’t a baby anymore, he wants his family close but he also wants MORE, he wants to be around people he wants to discover the world. Jason was born and raised in Gotham and Bruce can’t in good conscience rip his life apart like that.

And then there’s Timmy. Honestly the Tim is this AU is an unhinged obsessive gremlin, he just goes wherever his family wants to go, nothing else really matters to him but them.

And so Bruce decides to stay in Gotham and hides them all in an abandoned building. It’s kind of like a nest.

Bruce stashes his babies in a Makeshift safe house until he can figure out a way to make all this work.

Maybe Alfred finds their weird little makeshift Family when he stumbles into their safe house and manages not to get immediately killed.

Alfred is VERY worried about the state in which these kids are living.

He vows to lure them and their Dad to a safer better living arrangement.

Maybe Bruce gets severely hurt and the kids kidnap Alfred to patch Bruce up.

Alfred is appropriately horrified at the undead creature growling and hissing while he treats their mortally terminal wounds, but keeps as much composure as an ex-military general would about it.

Bruce like totally imprints on Alfred And like a cat, he drags each and every one of his kids into Alfred life for him to babysit and look after while Bruce goes out to do whatever zombie dads do.

Alfred has no choice in the matter and has effectively acquired spontaneous grandkids and a son.

Bruce: daddy?

Alfred: …. Boy do I look like-⁉️

They move in with Alfred basically over night.

Damian is either created Through the league of assassins who stole the courts strongest talon’s DNA (Bruce’s DNA) to recreate it. Or any other way I guess I donno? Maybe Talia and Bruce got jiggy with It at one point when they were in those mountains. PFFFF LOL GIVE ME IDEAS.

Gonna run with the first idea ?

Damian is created in a lab, Maybe the Drakes latest project was too recreate their greatest success which had been Talon!Bruce.

Tim revisits his parents lab randomly and discovers this. An abandoned lab and abandoned cryogenic chamber containing a baby.

Tim grabs the kids and runs back home.

Jason is exasperated and Alfred panics a bit cause…. Huh?!?!

Jason: Seriously guys? We can’t afford Another surprise adoption right now.

Alfred: do you mean a “kidnapping”

Jason: don’t be mean! It’s their love language 😡

Alfred: wonderful… is it safe to assume I’ll be raising yet another grandchild?

Jason: that’s the spirit, anyway we gotta find a much bigger apartment than this, it’s getting crowded.

Alfred: Ah, my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience caused by my oversight. It seems I should have anticipated my being abducted by a feral street urchin and his entourage of lethal pets. Quite the oversight on my part, I’ll begin apartment hunting right away sir.

Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian: *living their best life while Alfred tries to wrangle them out of shenanigans*

Anyways They take Damian in and he’s just as feral and eldritch horror as his daddy. He’s got his big brother’s trademark behaviours too!

Tim’s severely anti social mess , Dick’s creepy uncanny valley nature and Jason’s love for baking!

It’s so sweet how much he takes after his sibling and Bruce couldn’t be more proud of his litter of horror.

Alfred is honestly such a trooper through all this, salute the GOAT.

I wrote this on a whim! If y’all wanna hear more about this AU, if you want it written, let me know!

BATMAN FANFICTION IDEA #7

This is just me pleading with the fandom for Talon!Bruce content.

Please, there are so many different AU’s for the robins.

I just want one fic.

One.

#they’re all unhinged murder babies and Alfred is doing his best. #Bruce is a good murder bird dad 🫡 #The boys are all besties and wholesome hood boys despite their villain robin story backgrounds 💯💯 #batman #dc #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dc comics #batman fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic ideas #talon!bruce #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damain wayne #the court of owls #Talon au #Talon AU prompt #Batfam prompt #Batfam AU

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I LOVE THESE KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS😭😭😭

Prompt:

After some very eventful weeks of Jason’s debut as the Red Hood he takes a week deserved night off and decides to crash in one of his safe houses.

He did not count on one of the Bats finding him there.

So to keep his plans from being torpedoed entirely Jason goes with the split second decision of pretending he was held captive by the Red Hood.

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My heart😭

Prompt:

Jason suffers from a short bout of amnesia that puts his mind back to when he was a naive little Robin.

But when he regains his memories after a week…. He finds he doesn’t want to give up the soft, loving family that’s suddenly treating him like he’s something precious again. Doesn’t want to give up how Bruce makes every excuse under the sun to spend time with him, doesn’t want to give up Dick positively plastering himself to Jason in every waking moment, doesn’t want to give up Tim trailing after him trustingly like a tiny puppy with wide eyed wonder.

There’s no harm in pretending a little longer… right?

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THIS IS EVERYTHING

Where the Bats Come to Hide

Part 2

So to kinda build on to my Titus post I bet Damian does crawl into his siblings/fathers beds. Depending on what exactly the nightmare was, or what scares him decides who he goes too.

If it's Ra specifically Tim ends up with a baby bat tucked under the same pillow where his bow staff is. He knows that if it come down to it Tim can defeat Ra outwit him and see what his plans are before anyone else. Timothy stays up while Damian is in knowing his brother wants an active guard. His staff next to his computer with his chair facing the doorway. He knows Timothy will protect him from grandfather by anymeans necessary. Even at the expense of assassin lives. His grandfather can come but his Brother is ready and waiting.

Red hood finds a Robin sleeping under his pillow when Damian can't feel safe where he sees things of the corner of his eye. Where he can feel the cuts of blades or see the green of the pit. He goes to the brother who is always armed who's willing to pull the trigger. Damian goes when the only safety he can find is in the art of killing.

Nightwing finds his Robin tucked under his blanket curled around Zika when the world is scary when he's sad. The comfort of his Batman the warmth of the Brother who is ready with kindness as well as electricity luring him back to sleep when the memories of what he has done and gone through are too much.

His Father the great Batman can find his littlest tucked away in his room with the lamp still on when the dark is too scary. Who better to guard him in the shadows then the dark knight himself. The comforter feeling the same as the kevlar cape his father wears at night.

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😭😭😭

Damian: Richard! He won't give me the remote!

Tim: It's my turn! You had it last time!

Damian: You said that last time too!!

Tim: And I meant it!

Damian: Richard!

Tim: Dick!

Dick: *on the comms* please. I'm not even done patrolling yet.

----

Dick: *having a serious conversation with Bruce*

Tim: *running in* Dick he scratched me!

Damian: *running in after* Richard, he's lying, I barely even touched him!

Tim: You literally dug your nails into my skin! Look!

Damian: There's nothing there!

Dick: Bruce-

Bruce: I need to catch an uber.

Dick: I checked your schedule, you don't even have anywhere you need to go-

-----

*on a cruise*

Jason: so you decided to go with the purple one?

Dick: Well, it's not really purple, it's wine-colored and while I was in korea, did you know they have palette matching shops?

Jason: wait, really?

Dick: Yea, so you go into the place and they try several different colors against your skin to see which one would suit you best and then they try different shades. Since I have a warm skin tone they gave me a bunch of suggestions to try so I'm trying them out.

Jason: huh. Looks good.

Dick: Thanks! I'll-

*sounds of screaming and yelling*

Dick: What's going on?

Jason: I don't know, probably kids just having fun. So what were you saying?

Dick: um..oh! That I'll send you-

Frat Guy 1: *running by talking to his friend* -dude I still can't believe I'm going to see it! I thought this cruise would be so boring since most of us couldn't be here!

Frat Guy 2: I know right?! Who thought we'd see people getting arrested in the middle of an ocean?!!!

Dick: ..arrested?

Frat Guy 2: *still talking* who even happens to just own a sword in the first place?!

Frat Guy 1: WICKED!!

Dick: ....jay, I'm not mishearing that right?

Jason: Mishearing what?

Dick: He said sword. He said sword.

Jason: I didn't hear anything.

Dick: *running after the frat guys to find a crowd of people with Tim and Damian in the center and cruise ship officers*

Damian: -UNHAND ME YOU HEATHENS, OR I WILL TRULY SHOW YOU HOW I USE THE SWORD-

Tim: Officers, I promise these nunchucks were used as decoration. They were just in the swimming pool by chance. I have no idea what's going on or even why I just happened to have them but I promise that-Dick! Tell them it's all a misunderstanding! If it wasn't for Damian, none of this would've happened!

Damian: *whipping his head around* RICHARD! TELL THESE PEASANTS TO RELEASE ME AT ONCE AND TAKE THEIR HANDS OFF MY MOTHER'S SWORD-

Dick: Oh my god what happened???

Officers: Sir, are these kids yours?

Dick: what happened??

Officers: We recieve reports of two assailants attacking each other with prohibited weapons. We will be taking them into custody.

Dick: wait, wait, what? I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, there's no way, they're jsut kids-

Officers: Sir, as their legal guardian or parent, you have to come with us.

Dick: I-Jay, can you-

Dick: *turning to see Jason filming with the biggest grin on his face* Jason.

Jason: what??? You're telling me to stop filming this comedy goldmine? Roy's gonna love this so much.

Dick: Put. Down. The. Camera. And come over and help me.

Jason: Fine, fine. *muttering under his breath* hehehe I still have the spy cam to capture all of this on heheheheheeee.

-----

Dick: *Waking at at 2 am bc of a call* hello?

Tim: DICK HE STABBED ME!

Dick: what?

Tim: HE STABBED ME! DAMIAN STABBED ME!

Dick: damian? Damian stabbed you? But aren't you in New York? He's supposed to be in Gotham.

Tim: *screeching* WELL HE ISN'T ANYMORE!!!!!

Damian: *muffled* Richard he's lying! He cut himself in a kitchen knife because he thought he could cook! He's just blaming me because he wants attention!

Tim: Go away! Dick!

Damian: *mumbled* Richard!

Dick: *already dressing tiredly* yup. i'm on my way.

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The way I’m so adding this as a head canon

I read somewhere that its common in Arab culture to refer to someone close to you as your organs, implying you can’t live without them. Like how in english someone would say “my heart” (qalbi), in Arabic someone would also use “my liver” (kabidi) “my lungs” (riati). Notably, “my blood” is “Dami” which is funny bc it’s Damian’s shortened nickname.

Damian’s brothers have been using the nickname for years with or without knowing. I propose that as Damian gets closer to them, and Tim in particular, he responds in kind.

He starts to refer to Tim as “tuhali.”

…it means “my spleen.”

(Edit: this has now been confirmed by several Arabic speakers! Except the pronunciation of Dami (as in my blood) and Dami (shortened) are different which is sad. But my spleen idea works! So I’m happy!)

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Older Brother Tim includes (but not end with):

Threatening Damian with a knife

Holding Damian at random times and immediately telling him he’s a bitch when he lets go

Fisting fighting Damian for the last dinner roll

Giving D his left overs

Making sure D is gonna be good at school (siblings know what I mean)

Throwing D on the floor when he’s bored

Walking into D’s room, knocking something over, leaving and keeping the door open

Letting D come to him for things

Kicking D

Letting D sleep in his bed for D’s random naps

Giving D music/tv/movie recs

#big brother tim lives in my heart #tim and damian #batfam

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Tim, [trying to bond with toddler!Damian and spend time with him]:

toddler!Damian, [actually hissing]: you dare to show your affection to ME?? hmp!! i do not wish to partake in such unbecoming things!! stay away from me pitiful human! you truly are such a disgrace!

Tim, [ignoring Damian because he's busy with other stuff]:

toddler!Damian, [his eyes wide]: you... dare ignore Damian? you ignore him like garbage?! oh! oh! jail for big brother! jail for big brother for One Thousand Years!!!

#batfam

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Writing sociopaths

(Want more? Check out my Writing tag!)

Sociopaths, psychopathy, and being “antisocial” and “lacking empathy” is one of those things where writers will try to use it to make characters seem “cooler” or “badass” for…reasons. 

Part of what makes writing such a thing difficult is that modern psychiatry and mental health are considered more or less complete jokes by the average layman–seriously, try to think of a single real-world country that has a mental health system that functions well–and so the actual definitions of psychopathy and the research involved tends to be quite nebulous and even contradictory at times.

Nonetheless, from a narrative standpoint, “psychopathy” and “sociopath” are labels of characterisation, which means that writing such characters well can be boiled down to relatively simple concepts without getting bogged in all the medical stuff.

And as a sidenote: arguing whether or not characters “fit the definition” of being a sociopath is a largely pointless endeavour, because everyone characterisation is dependent on the author. It’s not about the definitions of sociopaths, it’s about characters whom the writer thinks is sociopathic.

And my main problem with most sociopath characters is that they’re boring. They are oh so very often tireless cliches built upon mountains of WebMD diagnoses, and ironically enough, completely predictable. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

Keep reading

#writing tips #writing #sociopaths

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This is everything 😭😭😭

New headcanon that the whole family carries on their own versions of the Brucie Wayne persona in order to keep up appearances, giving the whole family a reputation of a bunch of beautiful idiots. Everyone EXCEPT Damian. He understands the necessary evil of it, but he can't. He can't do it y'all it's beneath him.

So this child, who is known among the other children at his school to talk like he swallowed a dictionary and get into screaming matches with his history teachers, gets the title of The Wayne Family's Single Brain Cell. This is furthered by the fact that every time he's seen in public he has an exhausted expression on his face like

He becomes a localized meme. The Baby Wayne, fighting for his life every day against his family of well meaning morons.

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BATFAM PROMPT😭😭😭

Y’all think about those rare times when Batman talks about his sons before they were introduced to the justice league he talks bout his ‘babies’

Batman: ahh yes nightwing, he’s my little boy. Always is full of energy. I love him. He’s just a happy little boy. In fact I have called him here and there he is, my little boy, a bundle of joy he is.

Nightwing: *a fully grown man with the height of 6’0 and almost the size of Batman himself* hey guys :D

JL: that’s not a little boy???

Batman: *pointing to red hood* this is my baby, he’s just a precious baby and I love him so, he is fragile so please don’t make contact. He’s so cute and precious, he’s my precious baby boy.

Redhood: *a 6’2 man, absolutely covered in guns and is the size (if not slightly bigger) then Batman himself, glaring at all of them* don’t talk shit b

Batman: language.

JL: THATS NOT A BABY BOY???

Batman: this is my other son, he is my little genius. He’s so full of innocence and so pure, I love him dearly. Don’t be fooled by that stare, he’s so full of love he can hardly contain it. In fact he is friend shape.

Red robin: *staring down the JL with his Batman glare, already in a fighting stance* I will not hesitate

JL: I do not feel safe

Batman: this is robin, my son. He is very nice, though he might pick at you slightly, he is harmless. He can be prickly be warned but overall he is such a lovely baby and I love him so much

Robin: *gripping his swords, glaring at them ready to fight*

JL: oh my god we’re gonna die

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THEYRE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR

Damian, forgets the English word for lid, shuffling and trying to avoid asking for help but eventually breaking: where is the… uh… *insert Arabic word for lid*

Jason, confused mildly scared: what?

Damian holding up his cup: where is his hat?

Jason, almost coo-ing over the murder child:

(Inspired by a post by @chasingthestarss )

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OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY?!

Literally beautiful plot, I’m so in love with unhinged Nightwing and “misunderstandings” this is perfect

Prompt:

The fight at Titans Tower goes a little bit different.

Jason actively fakes Tim’s death (all hail clone science) after knocking him unconscious and turns the entire place into a veritable scene of crime.

Then he takes Tim and.. honestly, he hasn’t planned that far. But the kid looks like he could use some hugs.

And Tim, upon waking up, promptly goes starry eyed over Jason’s apparent resurrection. And, yeah, fine, he’s not entirely ok with the whole “I faked your death” thing, but his end goal is now to return Jason to the family fold, so it’s fine. Bruce and Dick don’t like him that much anyway, right?

Meanwhile, Bruce and Dick discover the gruesome scene at Titans Tower and their world crashes and burns for the second time.