#I have literally never felt more stupid and worthless in my entire life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shatteredatthealtarofwinchester · 3 years

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Umm, wait. It's more a 15x20 rant than an analysis. I'll call it... a ranalysis. 😏

I just saw J*reds last online panel again, where he called the finale "magical full circle storytelling". 15x20 is his "favourite episode ever" because he "is a fan of good storytelling". Uh-huh... Okay. So the following just was built on pure rage. This makes it more of a rant than an analysis. As usual. You guys know me.

Well. There are various possibilities here, Jared. Possibility A is, you are lying, what I do not believe. To lie that obvious you have to be a talented actor, which you are not. Possibility B is, you really think that way. You believe, the finale was "magical full circle storytelling" and you actually loved it, it was indeed your favourite episode. This again brings me to the only conclusion: You have no fucking idea about good storytelling, not even decent storytelling.

Lets look at every single ending, shall we?

Dean. We all know you think Deans death was a "success story." You think that Dean "ultimately gave his life for his number one on planet." I am sitting here, laughing in pain. First of all, let me say that Dean didn't died for Sam, Jared. He didn't took a bullet for Sam or sacrificed himself or whatsoever. He died in the most ridiculous accident I've ever seen. But lets go back to the very start.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John. Not because Dean wanted to, because he was forced into it! Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You get what I mean, Jared? Since you own a mental health campaign, you should. And guess what Dean did? He kept fighting. Despite everything, he kept fighting. And his mindset slowly changed. He understood that his father was an abusive bastard, he unterstood that he was forced into a life he never wanted. He understood that he is more than that, that he is not like John. He changed. He opened up. He even wanted to retire. And now it gets interesting, because something happened that REALLY is the start of magical full circle storytelling. Something in Deans mind clicked while Cas' confession. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he had a chance. A choice. The start of his very own life. Free will, baby! Well, no. Because exactly in that moment he stumbled into a nail and died. Do you even realize how dumb this is? Do you even realize what you did? Wait, it gets worse. Yeah, that's possible, even if you dont believe it. In heaven he goes right back to the life he has spent his whole journey learning to free himself from: Left only with the persons he had been forced, time and time again, to sacrifice his identity, goals, and soul for. None of the family, support, or love, nothing he has built or chosen for himself remains. This is not magical full circle storytelling, Jared. This is abysmal pointless butchering. This has NOTHING, not a single percent of magical or good storytelling! YOU call that magical? YOU call that a success? Seriously, what shit are you on? If it would've been full circle storytelling, there is not one single fucking possibility that Dean would've died in the end. I don't know whats going on in your twisted brain, but Deans death never was and never will be a success. To make it magical full circle storytelling, he MUST have been the one who survives and overcomes his trauma (and raise a certain someone from perdition.)

Sam. He's actually the one who kinda got the best ending, huh? I mean, it was fucking horrific, but it was the best if you compare it to the others. When Sam was young, he wanted a normal life far away from hunting, while the truth is, Sam always was more like John than Dean ever will be. Over time his mindset clearly changed. He even said: "When Dean came to get me at school, I told myself, one last job, you know, (...) it was always one more job and then I was gonna go back to law and to my life. I guess, I really understand now that THIS is my life. And I love it." Sam couldn't imagine a normal life anymore. He had the chances for that and he declined. He loved hunting. He loved working and making progress with the BMOL, he very much enjoyed being a MOL and even took the lead often. I can clearly picture Sam as the lead of a rebuilt version of the MOL, that would've made sense. What did Sam get? Right, the ending he didn't wanted anymore, but since we yeet every single development of every single character out of the window, Sam has to be Season 1 Sam again, BUT with a fancy party wig! And there he is! And what a happy life he lives, exactly what he wanted, woohoo! So much joy, so much fun! Oh look, there is BlurryWife™, who Jared made sure is not Eileen, because “Dean wouldn’t want Sam to be with Eileen”. But wait, didn't Dean wanted Sam to be with Eileen? Didn't Dean literally said: "If it was to work, Eileen, you know... She gets it, she gets us, she gets the life. You could do worse. And she could certainly do better, like SO much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy." Yeah, NO. This was just a writing AND acting AND producing mistake and had no matter at all. *cough* So... As you can see, magical storytelling strikes again. I can feel the magic, I can feel the full circle, it's... Amazing...

Castiel. Castiels story was magical, it was mindblowing. I've never in my entire life seen such a meaningful and deep storyline and I mean this. It's fucking massive. There is this blunt angel soldier, one of the post powerful forces, who was built to blindly obey, who lived for aeons of years, who wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he fell for a broken, suicidal, abused human who never felt loved or worthy the very moment he touched him. He fell so hard he rebelled against his own race, against his own family, against everything he had without any safety. He was the ONLY one in Chuck-knows-how-many universes who GREW outside of Chucks CONTROL! His love was so fucking massive, it couldn't be controlled by the God who built every-fucking-thing. Chuck built millions(?) of parallel universes, heaven, hell, life, death, purgatory, the empty, he created every single being, the light, darkness, every single angel, demon, leviathan, monster, animal, plant, sea, blade of grass, every centimeter of mountains, the four seasons, emotions, what the fuck ever. Everything you can ever think of, Chuck created it. And he controlled it. In every single one of his fucking millions of universes. But not Castiel.This is actually not possible. You can't outrun god. You can't outrun the one who creates, writes and controlles everything. But Cas did. Out of love. And not only that, you also imply that what happened between Dean and Cas was the only thing that was real. Everything else was corrupted, controlled, manipulated, written by Chuck. But what happened between Dean and Cas, he couldn't affect.

Seeing Cas standing there, crying, confessing his love to Dean actually even makes me think that Dean made Cas human. Dean completed Cas. Cas didn't simply said "I love you", he actually said "In all existing universes, in all millions, all aeons of years, you are my only happiness." And Cas completed Dean. He freed Dean. While Dean was used to being left, was used to feeling worthless and unlovable, Cas saw Dean exactly the way he is and chose to stay. With every obstacle, every difficulty he loved him even more and yes, freed him from the abusive structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. Something that no one else could, not his parents, not Amara, not God, not even Sam. Beautiful, isn't it? Unique. Mindblowing. Pure. You enjoyed it? Let's fuck this up in 3...2...1...

Castiels story ended exactly the same way it started. A blunt angel who doesn't care about people and feelings, blindly carrying out instructions from a new God, obeying heaven. No progress. They threw away 12 years of character development and managed to give him the same stupid and senseless ending like they did with Dean. Dean died and Cas... Wasn't there?! WHAT!? There is no single fucking way Cas wouldn't save Dean or wouldn't be there when Dean enters heaven! There. Is. No. Fucking. Way! The way they represented Cas in the end doesn't only imply that Dean isn't important to Cas anymore, he even ended up exactly the same way as if Season 4-15 wouldn't have happened. The ending is exactly the same! He's with God in heaven, supporting him with instructions, not caring about anything else.

Okay, I got it. Summarizing you can say: Jareds "magical full circle storytelling" is to yeet 95% of the past 15 years. No other characters matter, the story itself doesn't matter, every single characters development doesn't matter, it even doesn't matter what the brothers really want, they don't get it anyway.

Okay. But that's not all. As if this wasn't bad enough, they didn't just butchered ... EVERYTHING, they also salted and burnt every single Mantra they ever stood for. I'll make these short, I promise!

Team Free Will. *snort* Dean couldn't escape his fate, he always believed he'll die on a hunt as Daddys blunt instrument and he did. He kept fighting to die exactly the way he felt he was "supposed to". Message? No matter how hard you keep fighting, no matter how long you'll keep it up, you can't escape your fate. Sam couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started. Cas couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started, same for Jack, he ended how he was supposed to. YEET THE FREE WILL, NONE OF THEM CAN CHANGE ANYTHING!

Family don't end with blood. The biggest lie that has ever been told. Do I even have to explain that? No need, right? Don't make me wanna throw up again, please. We all know that 15x20 blasted "Family don't end with blood" in millions of pieces.

Always keep fighting. THE AUDACITY to praise that while Dean is dying! After everything Dean has dealt with, It makes me wanna scream. Dean kept fighting, he always kept fighting, no matter how hard it was, no matter what forced him to his knees, he stood up again, and if he wasn't able to stand up, he crawled. He kept fighting no matter what, despite everything. His mindset changed. He wanted to live, he wanted to experience things, feelings and people differently or even for the first time. He changed. He wanted to retire, toes in the sand. He knew he earned it. Thats why he kept fighting. For what? To die the very first moment he had a free will. To die the very first moment he had a choice, had a life to build for himself. Always keep fighting, but the moment you come close to what you want, what you fought for, you die. It's been more than 3 months and I am having tears in my eyes while typing this. As for Dean, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how long you fight, you don't reach what you deserve anyway. Give up. As for Sam, AKF leeds to Emptiness. Grief. Psychological Trauma. Mental illness. Absolutely nothing worth fighting for.

I wanna go cry now, bye.

#jensen ackles #misha collins #j*red p*dalecki #spn #spnfandom #supernatural #spnfamily #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #deancas #dean #cas

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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years

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golden power; never wielded

my first work for @ninjago-angst-week! prompt - abandoned (16/08) Lloyd's never known what it's like to share his heart with another, linking two lives together as if one had found the melody to their chorus, now a song in perfect harmony. If he’d always felt like he was invisible; wondered if there was something fundamentally wrong with his inability to touch others’ hearts, then, well, that was no one’s business but his own. Of course, that was before he quite literally fell for someone - the first person, actually - who seemed to care. Of course she was too good to be true. Or, the S8 angst I've been wanting to write about 'game of masks' and the aftermath. trigger warnings - suicidal thoughts, brief mention of implied self-harm, not really a warning but it talks a lot about loneliness. "How did you know?"

"It's an Oni Temple. It's safe to assume that only an Oni could take it."

"No. How could you know that I was part Oni?"

How could you know that I was part Oni?

The question repeated itself in his mind, echoing into the blizzard.

Sometimes, he wondered what would've gone down at the temple if he hadn't been so observant.

Well, he thought bitterly, probably not the temple itself.

The walls collapsing, he'd caught a glimpse of his terrified face as the room filled with swirling inky blackness, freezing him to the bone.

But the real pain came from her words.

Ah. Your emotions. You can't get rid of them, can you?

No, he'd wanted to yell, staring listlessly at the shaking grey semblance of sky.

He'd always felt like he wielded the element of light; invisible, trapped behind a barrier that no one cared enough to break. Isolated; locked away from the world. Longing for - yearning for - a single soul to want to know his heart. Pain that almost felt tangible, bleeding into every motion, every day.

Everyone else seemed to find it so easy - so effortless - simple as breathing, taken for granted like it was ingrained into their bones. Everyone else seemed to have given away a little piece of their heart - to their parents, friends, or lovers.

The fact that his was, and had always been, entirely whole?

He was either cursed, the venom from the Great Devourer passed down to him, or there was something fundamentally unlikable coursing through his veins.

By this point, he assumed it was the latter.

Maybe, if anyone had ever cared - wanted to know him - he'd never have felt like it was pressing down on his chest like a casket; a useless block of ice that no one wanted, not even the unfortunate owner it'd been given.

If no one would know his heart, he'd thought, grabbing a forgotten map, he'd strike fear into theirs - until they knew what it was like to sob into invisible barriers, to gaze upon the world with a weary eyes and a heart heavy with the knowledge that if they vanished, no one would even notice.

He'd realized far too late that he had unleashed an evil that couldn't be controlled - or one that could only be controlled by his- by someone else that had sunk beneath the darkness until no light remained-

He'd escaped from the crumbling casket, energy and eyes blazing - only to find that Har- she'd already escaped with the mask.

The Oni Mask of Hatred.

As they had steered the boat through the river, her sweet smile hiding lie upon lie, he'd thought it was somewhat ironic - two lovers, seeking a literal manifestation of hatred.

He'd laughed bitterly; no mirth in the sound.

After his first crush had - well, literally tried to crush him, he didn't think that this day could get much worse.

Until she dropped him into a contraption that was the stuff of nightmares - leaving the others with a seemingly impossible choice.

He'd wanted to yell, scream, that they should save his mother - he'd hurt enough people over the course of his short life, as evidenced by the grief-stricken orphan yelling a foreign language right in front of him.

I'm the expendable one! Maybe she was right - it was my fault the Serpentine were able to release the Great Devourer. And it took thousands of lives - but never the life of the one who was to blame.

He'd grabbed the vengestone bars, the faint sense of numbness they brought a welcoming relief from the storm of emotions that- he honestly had no clue what to do with.

i could drown, he had thought briefly, fleetingly. what if i drowned and i never hurt anyone again-

you have a responsibility, even though you've pretty much failed to uphold it so far

"Clotho venge! Clotho decer! Clotho haeed!"

Shoving the thought to the back of his mind, he'd gripped the bars tighter, ignoring the sting of the metal against skin.

If anything, he'd welcomed the sting.

Any pain was better than the agonizing reminder that his heart was, and had always been, entirely whole.

He didn't even realize he was trembling until he heard his father's voice echoing from the vortex.

His father hadn't asked to be bitten by an evil snake, the venom coursing through his veins for years upon years. He hadn't asked to be dumped at a boarding school for bad kids, spending what he had left of his childhood hiding in empty classrooms or yelling empty threats as his classmates snickered.

Against all odds, they'd been reunited. Evil snakes, Fangblades, even Jade Blades - none of it had stood between them.

Just when he thought they might have a future - he might have a- a family - the Cursed Realm decided to curse them all.

His father with imprisonment, him with a life devoid of a father he'd loved, at the end.

Now H- she wanted to resurrect him?

His father had been so much more than the Oni blood in his veins. So was he.

But if he was completely Oni-

Lloyd didn't like their odds. He kind of hated them.

"Clotho venge! Clotho decer! Clotho haeed!"

---

A few chaotic hours later... they'd won? They'd won.

The Sons of Garmadon (he'd always thought the name was kind of ironic - he, the only son of Garmadon, wasn't in their crazy biker gang) had been imprisoned by courageous, if a bit overzealous, taser-wielding policeman.

Ninjago was celebrating - everyone was; he should be, too.

Should he really revel in their victory, though? It was his fault that she'd been able to snatch the last mask, all the safeguards the Oni had put in place practically worthless because of his stupid feelings-

H- Harumi had been thrown in one of the police vans.

"You're right - this isn't me," she'd started, her meekness almost convincing him that she really was the girl he'd fallen for - the girl who'd been forced into a mask she never wanted to wear, but someone who still cared about the world... and- and about him.

"Stop."

He'd cut her off, the venom in his tone surprising both of them.

"Save it for someone who cares," he'd forced out, the hurt welling up his chest almost as painful as their unceremonious descent into the jungle, (the descent she'd orchestrated, he'd thought fleetingly, squeezing his eyes together) unable to believe that this- this liar was the same sweet girl he'd fallen for.

With that, he slammed the door of the van, locking her in - wishing that locking his memories away could be easy.

She'd never cared about him; simply needing to use him as if he was nothing more than the power he wielded.

He watched one of the policemen drive her away, the tired-but-enthusiastic cheers of his teammates nothing more than background noise; static.

Vaguely, he realized that his heart wasn't quite whole - he'd given a piece of it to someone whom he had thought would link theirs together in harmony, the melody to his chorus; what he'd been searching for ever since he'd woken up screaming in a 'boarding school' that seemed more like a prison.

She'd taken more than what he'd given - draining the light from his entire being as if she was the Overlord, stealing his golden power without a shred of remorse.

That failure was practically painless, compared to her-

An almost unfamiliar emotion slowly stated to replace the ache in his chest that he'd grown used to for all those years; it'd become comforting, even. Watching the world go by with a heart that seemed more like a curse, he briefly, fleetingly, wondered if he'd be better off without one.

If there was ever a problem that presented itself to Nya while she worked on the Bounty, she used to joke that it'd be easier to just dump their entire hard dive into the sea.

Destruction seemed to be easier than fixing, he conceded - the van now just a glimmer of bright light; one of the many that made up their vibrant city.

"How did you know?" he heard, yet again wondering how he felt so disconnected from his own role in the memory.

How had she known?

The whisper of a voice long gone bled into his consciousness, his hands shaking at his sides even as the city celebrated.

Why had he even asked that?

Plastering a smile on his face as he walked over to his teammates, the question repeating itself in his mind, echoing into the blizzard.

FSM - she didn't need to be leader of a biker gang to know that.

Who could ever give their heart - the epitome of human connection; golden power all on its own, albeit of a different kind - to an Oni?

Maybe he wasn't the one trapped behind an invisible wall, built on tears and loneliness and yearning and heartache and a lone question - why? Why could no one seem to look past the cage he felt himself trapped in, observing the world rather than playing a part in it.

He hadn't been a- abandoned by everyone, he realized, a weary sense of clarity and shadowed eyes not sure to accept it or push it into the back of his mind like the hours he'd spent there, as if he'd ever want to have hurt his teammates like he did, the twisted ghost-

He trailed behind his teammates as they sang - horribly off key, his mind pointed out, forcing a small smile onto his face - lost in the figurative blizzard, despite the fact that the sun's rays had only vanished a few hours ago.

If no one would know his heart?

FSM - could he really blame them?

(if you read this far, thank you so much, you’ve made my day:D)

#lloyd garmadon #ninjago angst week #harumi #sons of garmadon #ninjago fic #ninjago #lloyd

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wesimpforxiao · 3 years

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Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 10.2

Author’s Note: I got all 4 wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday and now I look a bit like a chipmunk hehehe XD

"Haah...ngh..." Squinted eyelids prevented you from panicking at the sight of the branch retracting from your abdomen while you slowly pulled yourself away from the tree. Still, the movement only enhanced the stars that obscured your vision.

"Your opponent's right here." A cold warning caught your attention, and you glanced up to see Childe with another arrow knocked against his bow and aimed at Scaramouche's head. Apparently the sixth harbinger was contemplating on striking you down while you moved. "Your fight is with me."

"You have three seconds before I end you for betraying the will of the Tsaritsa," he growled back.

"Well, Mezzetin? What're you waiting for? Get out of here."

"Mhmm..." You scooped up a handful of snow and pressed it to your stomach. You don't have to tell me twice. You turned your back to them, trusting Childe with your literal life in his hands, and--froze. Dammit. Why is he throwing his life away for me? He has a family to return to. "Childe-"

"Go! I can handle him."

You peered over your shoulder to gaze at his profile. He didn't bother looking your way which was the smart move given the dangerous situation. His expression was nothing less than determined and focused on the opponent in front of him. "Be careful."

Childe didn't respond, though his lips did twitch slightly upward at your heartfelt warning. The sound of retreating footsteps that crunched in the snow allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief. He dismissed his bow and summoned two hydro blades in his hands. "Now then. I've been wanting to fight you for awhile now. What do you say we have ourselves a friendly fight to the death? Show me your strength."

.................................

"What do you think you're doing?" A faceless god struck Xiao across the face and sent him sprawling to the ground. "You have the audacity to disobey my commands? Who do you think you are? You are nothing without me. You hear? You're nothing, Alatus."

Xiao licked the blood that covered his teeth and bit his lip to prevent himself from fighting back. This wasn't a new occurrence by any means...or at least, the little rebellion wasn't. He would fight, claw his way out of this god's grasp if he could, but every day he was back at square one: nothing but a slave.

"What's your excuse this time," the god questioned, yanking Xiao into the air by construing a firm grip in the adeptus's hair, "that you couldn't fulfill your duty? Did it make you sick, killing those creatures? Exterminating those gods that were strangers to you? You're weak. You're worthless. You're worthless!"

The god dropped Xiao and he fell to his knees. He couldn't bring himself to speak with the growing lump in his throat and the tears burning his eyes. Who was he but a murderer now? Could his soul even be redeemed for the sins he's committed? He's only been in this god's grasp for a couple months now, but the amount of beings he's killed is--

"I have a special punishment for you." The god summoned what looked to be a young god, no older than a child and an orphan by the tear stains on his cheeks. He was beaten, like this god had already decided to have his way with the child; bruises colored his pale malnourished flesh with blues and purples. There was no light in the kid's eyes; they were empty, devoid of hope, devoid of rage, devoid of even sadness.

The sight alone was enough to scar Xiao. Would he too become devoid of all emotion in due time?

His master shoved the god spawn forward so he fell before Xiao's stiff body. "Kill him."

"What?"

"You heard me loud and clear, Alatus. Kill him, and eat his dreams. This is what you will do from now on when I give you the order to kill."

"I can't," Xiao wavered and stared at the broken child in front of him. "I won't."

Xiao would very much rather be dead than do these awful tasks so the god never bothered to threaten death. Doing so would give this worthless servant release from a job that needs to be done. Torture seemed to work on some occasions, but eventually Xiao had become used to the pain and rarely cried out. So the best way to get this stupid creature to follow orders-- "If you don't, I will. And you know what that means."

Unnecessary torture until his dying breath, the yaksha thought as his wavering gaze lowered to the child once more.

"What'll it be?"

The child held Xiao's gaze, but he felt no hope looking at the adeptus. His life was over; that much, he was sure. There was no point in living anyway. His entire family was slaughtered. Where could he go but wonder the lands alone? Nothing would fill the void in his heart nor replace his loved ones.

Xiao recognized the acceptance, the defeat, in the child's broken demeanor. He didn't want to kill him but if it prevented a much slower, painful death, then this is an act of kindness. It's an act of kindness. It's an act of kindness. He's doing this for the orphan's benefit. This is a way of saving the child. This is--

"...Forgive me."

The blade of his polearm shot through the god spawn with the utmost precision and speed. A weak labored gasp escaped him from the contact, but all he felt was a small pinch. It was peaceful, or at least as peaceful as death could be.

This is for his own good, Xiao told himself as he watched the life drain from his eyes. A desperate persuasion of the mind to preserve what little innocence he has left.

"Eat his dreams."

"I won't disobey again. Please, spare me," he begged. But the unwavering glare of his master said there was no room for bargaining.

Xiao returned his attention to the boy who was now hanging by a very thin thread. To extract one's dreams, they must still be alive--and the last moments of their death are a frightening eternal nightmare. He did as he was told and pulled the boy's dreams out until a glowing substance sat lightly in his hand. The smell was different for everyone's dreams, those with pure hearts having the sweetest of fragrances just like this boy's. The tastes of dreams themselves were rather unrememberable, but the textures were all the same.

He devoured it as quickly as possible, holding his breath so that sickly sweet aroma wouldn't stick around in his nose to haunt him. As he did, the dying boy's expression changed from empty to horrified, and then his body finally gave in to the drastic wound in his chest and slumped over.

He just stared helplessly at the body for awhile while his master nodded in approval. The weight of the god's hand clapping his shoulder barely managed to snap Xiao out of his distraught gaze.

"You'll learn to love the taste, Alatus. Then their distraught expressions as you take from them." Then the god dismissed himself from the room leaving Xiao to stare brokenly at the corpse before him.

Xiao's nose scrunched up in anger while his stomach flipped with displeasure. He hated this god. He hated him. 'You're wrong, I could never,' he wanted to protest, 'I could never be like you,' but his stomach twisted in self-disgust. A part of him did enjoy it, if even by the smallest amount, and it made him hate himself even more.

If killing the child broke him, then devouring, tasting, and seeing the child's dreams devastated him. They consisted of the child with his parents living together again. Smiling, laughing. No sign of torture, only peace. Something pure and loving, that he would never have again nor will Xiao ever get the chance to experience.

Just as that child died, so too did Xiao's remaining innocence.

Years passed, and what once was a kind-hearted adeptus was now a cold-blooded killing machine. Slaying gods left and right, increasing the death toll in the honor of his wretched master until a major war broke out throughout Teyvat. That was when he saw fear in his master's eyes for the first time--the threat of his domain being overthrown loomed heavily over his head. Though Xiao felt a sense of hope, it was quickly shattered when he was once again put to work.

It was one gloomy day during the Archon War when he and his master were confronted by Morax. They tag-teamed the god, but the master was quickly slain while Xiao was trapped between a few pillars summoned by the god of geo. The master's blood spilled onto the grass and he felt his knees weaken with relief and trepidation.

Finally, he was free. He sank to his knees and watched Morax approach him with a bloody spear. He can die free. Morax had other plans for him and welcomed his presence with open arms. But the words that came out of his mouth did not belong to him.

"Xiao, can you...hear me?" The voice that came from Morax was heavily distorted and high-pitched. "Please..."

"That's not part of this memory," Xiao, now aware that he was dreaming, spoke out. "Who's calling me?"

"Please don't die!" Why was it suddenly hard to breathe, and what was this grief and anger washing over him suddenly?

"P-please don't die!" I have to go back for him. He can't-- You stumbled forward through the snow, still hesitant on whether to follow Zhongli's trail or make your way back to the palace rubble. It was only a moment's hesitance, though--you were already making a beeline for the palace and making a point to avoid Childe's fight by the time you realized what you were doing. It wasn't long until your wounds and exhaustion caught up to you about halfway back to the palace. You force yourself to continue on all-fours for a little ways, but your fingers were growing numb from the cold now that you lacked a vision. "Rex Lapis, please, I can't--I need to reach--" Wait. The wind can carry me, can't it? You tried despite the growing pain in your stomach. It barely lifted you off the snow, but it was something. You can do this. It's just another mile or so.

But just as your body was lifted from the ground, something grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and lifted you higher into the air like an animal carries it's offspring. "It seems I cannot dissuade you from running back to danger."

"Z-Zhongli?" You winced, and your hand pressing tighter against your side.

"You're injured!" Aether immediately moved to inspect the wound, but you swatted him away just as Zhongli set you back on your feet. "Were you able to defeat Scaramouche?"

"I'm fine, it's not fatal--I think." Your gaze swept across your companions' faces. "...Childe intervened and is fighting him now."

"Wait, Childe betrayed the Tsaritsa?" Paimon appeared out of thin air after hearing this. "Why the heck would he do that? And now of all times?!"

"Perhaps it's best we save the questions for later," prompted Zhongli. This may as well be some form of apology for the harbinger's actions against you and the rest of the group; he hinted a possible alliance when Zhongli confronted him above the harbor after the Lantern Rite ended. Regardless of the intent, they need to take advantage of the time they were given now.

"Either way, I don't care. I'm not leaving Xiao. You all came to rescue me, but I refuse to have my life traded for one of yours."

"That much is clear," the consultant let out a heavy sigh, but there was a certain fondness and respect in his eyes as he looked at you. "Very well. But as soon as we recover him, we leave immediately. No more impulsive decisions."

"Yes sir."

"I too have begun to suspect all is not well," he murmured thoughtfully, but you couldn't quite hear him. "Do not push yourself further, I'll carry you."

"Wha--? Ah!"

The palace was a literal heap of smoking rubble. Not a pillar was left standing. Whatever fires may have started were immediately smothered by the snow, leaving ominous black pillars of smoke that didn't have an origin. The silence was overwhelming despite being filled by the wet shoes that crunched in the snow. By the looks of it, not a single agent survived the fall. How would they? For humans are but fragile creatures incapable of healing themselves unless they had the specific power to do so.

Paimon frantically flew over the rocks and columns ahead of the group. "The mess goes on and on! Where would we even start?"

"We should split up to cover more ground."

"But what if the Tsaritsa reappears?"

"I doubt she will be in a fighting condition after facing Xiao. Paimon and I will start here. Aether, would you two search to your right?"

"Sounds like a plan." The traveler joined your side while throwing your arm over his shoulder to assist you. You weren't looking too hot; your skin was pale but it was unknown whether it was more from the cold or from your injury. "Leave the heavy lifting to me, alright? Don't push yourself too much."

"Xiao's always pushed himself to protect me. It's time I do the same for him."

A wry grin lifted the corners of Aether's lips. "That might be true, but he's more equipped to handle it don't you think?" He escorted you to a suspiciously large pile of rubble. "Wait here. I'm going to use Elemental Sight to see if I can locate him."

"Elemental Sight?"

"Oh...right...you never learned how to do that since you haven't held a vision for long," an awkward laugh escaped Aether as he began pushing boulders away from the pile. "I'll tell you about it after this is over." The elemental traces left behind were crowded with a mix of cryo and anemo energy, which made it difficult to decipher the strongest trail that Xiao left behind.

"...What'll we even do once we find him? Where would we go? The Tsaritsa wouldn't just give up on hunting us down." Your palms pressed against the next boulder and it tumbled unceremoniously into the snow. Then they gripped the next one, and your shoe needed to push against it for it to budge.

Aether didn't answer at first and the two of you removed several chunks of the wreckage over several minutes. Then he used his Elemental Sight again and scanned the area. "I was actually talking to Zhongli about that after we left Scaramouche to you. I was gifted a Serenitea Pot a few days after you joined the Fatui; it's an adeptal realm only I or those I invite can access." Aether's gaze hovered over a spot and his brows furrowed with concentration. "The two of you can stay in there until the situation calms--There."

"Huh?" You followed his line of sight but didn't see anything. "What's there?"

"He's very close. Hey, Zhongli! Paimon! Over here!"

"Did you find him?" Paimon beat Zhongli to the punch and worriedly scanned the surrounding area.

"I think he's trapped back here. Zhongli...?"

"Allow me." The boulders of rubble carefully rose away from the pile one by one to prevent any possible cave-ins that could injure Xiao. He must've removed at least twenty chunks from the debris before a small cavern was revealed.

"--wake up! Xiao!" The ringing in the yaksha's ears finally faded until a girl's voice filled its place. Slowly, his drowsy eyelids opened to see a blurry figure stare down at him. Despite his unfocused gaze his reflexes were as quick as they always were. A flash of silver nearly slashed at your neck, but a golden shield erupted around you and Xiao's polearm bounced off. You were unfazed. "It's alright. You're safe now." A numb hand was placed against his cheek.

Zhongli stared thoughtfully at the boulder that sat on Xiao's abdomen and stained his clothes red. "Aether, can you grab a few handfuls of snow?"

"Yeah. I'll be right back." Paimon glanced at the two of them before flying after Aether.

"Don't do the stupid thing and move yet," you nagged once you finally caught sight of the blood.

Something between a pained groan and a scoff left his lips. 'Don't do the stupid thing?' Who do you think you're talking to? "You're one to talk," his gaze grazed over your side, where the snow you had pressed against your body was melting and soaked with blood. "...Here. Put more pressure like this." Despite being pinned, his heavy arm lifted enough to push against your skin.

"I would do the same to you, but your injuries are more extensive--"

"Yes, it would be wise to refrain from doing anything until Aether returns." Zhongli knelt on the other side of the yaksha, his gloved hand ghosting over the boulder. "I may have a solution, though it depends entirely on the presence of those Aether has authorized to enter his teapot..."

"Okay, do you think this should be enough?" The traveller entered the cramped cavern once again with an armful of clean snow and his scarf removed. "We can tie this around his waist so the bleeding slows down--"

"Aether," Zhongli turned to him. "Have you by chance invited a healer to your Serenitea Pot?"

"...Yes, actually. You're thinking I bring them here?"

"The opposite; I want you to enter your teapot now and see if they're taking residence at the moment. If they are, we could potentially send these two into the teapot where the healer aid them."

"T-That's brilliant!" Paimon immediately went to pull the Serenitea Pot out of Aether's bag. "Paimon would've never thought of this! Quick, Traveler! Hurry up and go see if Bennett's inside!"

"Right!" Aether handed the snow and scarf to Zhongli. Then he opened the teapot and a vortex sucked him inward in an instant.

"It shouldn't take him long to return. Quickly," he handed the scarf to you. "I will lift the debris and place the snow on his injury. While I do that, tightly wrap the scarf around his abdomen. Ready?"

"Y-yes." Xiao looked displeased, but he nodded at you.

"One, two, three." The debris was easily lifted off of Xiao's body.

You did your best to ignore the gruesome wound and the dark blood that had soaked into his clothes, carefully sliding the fabric beneath his back and tying it at his front. A low grunt escaped Xiao when confronted with the sudden movements, but other than that he remained silent.

Aether was thrown out of the teapot and almost stumbled onto the three of you. "Okay, he's inside! Give me your hands."

"Our hands?" You and Xiao exchanged confused looks before returning your attention to Aether. Despite the confusion both of you lifted one of your hands to him.

Aether pulled out what looked to be some sort of marker from his bag and drew a symbol on your palm, then Xiao's. The symbols then glowed a bright gold before fading like they had never been on your skin in the first place. Next, Aether tapped both palms twice. "Okay. You'll be able to enter the realm now. All you have to do is tap your hand like I did."

"...A-Are you sure about this? Xiao's..." He's not looking well anymore; he was still bleeding heavily from his stomach and blood was still dripping from a wound somewhere behind his hairline. "This won't hurt him, will it?"

"Relax. Bennett will be there to treat him the second you guys enter."

You and Xiao simultaneously turned to Zhongli, who nodded in confirmation. "Go now. We will contact you once we're out of Snezhnaya."

"Okay. Be careful." It was your turn to look at Xiao, and both of you then brought your hands together to enter the realm.

Tap, tap.

#wesimpforxiao #wesimpforxiaoupdates #Say My Name #say my name and ill be there #genshin impact #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #genshin x reader

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lauraashley93 · 3 years

Text

It’s always been you Pt 2

Part two to “it was always you. “

Here is part 1

Warnings: none? Swearing?

It’s been a good minute since I’ve wrote anything so I’m sorry if this isn’t very good but it’s literally been sitting in my drafts for months now. :) enjoy.

—————————————————————-

A few hours earlier

Miguel’s fist slammed against the desk. “How could I have been so blind Nestor?? How foolish am I? That I had to see through a text she forgot to delete? A child I was about to call my OWN is of another man? And a fucking Mayans? That stupid bitch is going to pay. They both are. I will have them both on my pew and make both of them regret the day they thought they could fuck with me. I may just let EZ’s fucking club watch and let this be a warning that if they EVER fuck me over I will discard all of them like worthless trash.”

Nestor watched as his friend threw a empty glass at the wall and paced through his frustration. As much as he knew he could very well do the things he said and Nestor would not mourn the loss of either person he knew a better way to heal Miguel’s wounds and if he were to Kill EZ and Emily and leave a child mother and fatherless this plan would never work because she would know. If they were to vanish, she would know and he needed a Miguel to calm down and realize that yes, he was embarrassed but now he could have what he really wanted. Now he could truly be happy. Why be mad when he was miserable anyway?

Present time

And thats how he found himself here. 10:00 at night, feeling like a high-school boy picking up a date for the first time. Butterflies in his stomach hoping, just praying you would open the door. He took a deep breath in and knocked on the door.

Your POV

You were settling in drinking a glass of wine snuggled up on your couch with your favorite book and blanket. You could feel your eyes beginning to get heavy when you suddenly hear a light knock at the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion. You looked at the clock and wondered who would be at your door. You placed your book down and slowly approached your door, checking the peep hole you were shocked to see Miguel Galindo at your door.

Butterflies caught in your stomach and you took a deep breath and opened the door. Concern instantly written on your face. You could tell he was upset.

“Miguel? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” You stepped aside letting him into your home, mentally kicking yourself for not picking up your place a bit more.

“Y/n, I’m sorry to show up so late. I.. I just.” He sighed in frustration obviously never one to stumble over his words. You smiled and grabbed his hand and led him to take a seat by you on the couch.

“It’s okay, Miguel. I wasn’t doing anything anyway. What’s on your mind? What is wrong?” You watched him as his eyes got glossy and he took a deep breath and turned to you.

“Emily and me, we uh, well turns out she was cheating on me. The baby, it isn’t even mine.” A tear escaped his eye but he wiped it away quickly. Clearly he was never one to show this side of himself but he always felt open with you. He missed that. Your heart broke hearing him say these things. You couldn’t imagine what his heart was feeling.

“Oh Miguel, I am so sorry.” You gently placed your hand on his back. “I’m here for you, whatever you need. I know you loved her.”

He smiled, not one that touched his eyes but he looked up at you. “That’s the thing y/n. I’m not quite saddened at the loss of the relationship between and my soon to be ex wife. I’m upset because I’ve wasted all this time pretending to be happy. Fooling myself into thinking I loved anyone else but you. And for what?? For Emily to leave me for the person she was in love with. Raising a child who she let me believe was mine. Not even caring what she did to me. And all these years I could have been with you. I could have been building this life with an amazing, strong, beautiful and loyal woman.”

You knew you should say something. Respond in some way but your breath hitched and you felt your world spinning in slow motion. Was Miguel really confessing his love to you? A few months ago you were just accepting the fact that you had made the worst mistake of your life letting him go and knowing you would never have him again but now?? He’s telling you everything you have DREAMED of him telling you. Miguel must have taken your silence as a bad thing because he started to stumble over his words. Clearly losing the confidence he had in hoping you felt the same way.

“Look, y/n I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m sorry, I never meant to overwhelm you. I just, I knew,” he sighed. “I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t let you know and let you go a second time.” He placed his hand on yours. “I’ll see myself out. I’m sorry.”

He got up slowly making his way toward the door. You blinked away your confusion and quickly shot up before he could get any farther. You didn’t know what to say so you did the only thing you could think of. You grabbed his hand turning him back to face you. You backed him up against your door not knowing where your new found confidence came from but not questioning it either. You crushed your lips into his moving them urgently and it didn’t take him a second to respond. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and you felt his tongue begging for entrance and so you opened allowing him access. You felt him massage his tongue against yours and you let a soft moan against his lips. He held you close and started guiding you back toward the couch

Until you felt it behind your knees you laid back brining him down on top of you.

You finally pulled away needing to catch your breath both your and Miguel’s chest falling up and down rapidly. He looked deep into y/e/c eyes and kissed your lips once more and smirked.

“So, can I take that as the feelings are returned or do you say goodbye to all your friends that way?”

You laughed and cupped his cheek and smiled. “I have loved you since I met you and I have never stopped. I have dreamed of this moment since I seen you a couple of months ago. I never want you to feel anything but happiness but I can’t say I’m sad about Emily’s terrible terrible mistake. I might even have to write her a thank you card.”

This earned you a laugh from Miguel and he smiled ear to ear. “Then come with me, y/n. Let’s start the life we both should have had this entire time. Please. I promise it will be everything you ever wanted. We can start your own business so you don’t have to stop doing what you love. Please.”

You thought about it. Your whole life was finally stable. But you had already gave Miguel up once. And here he was telling you, you could start your own business. He was only asking you to leave your crumby apartment. You’d be dumb not to, right? You smiled as you thought about the life you could be living with Miguel. The idea of him leaving without you already not something you even wanted to entertain. “When do we leave.”

Miguel smiled as he placed his hand on your cheek. “We can worry about that tomorrow. Right now there are more important things I want to take care of.”

You bit your bottom lip as Miguel brought you hip closer to his and you spent the rest of the night tangled in each other’s embrace.

@angelreyesgirl @auroraariza @spookys-girl @trulysuccubus @rosieposie0624 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @skyofficialxx @strawberrywritings @miss-nori85 @cind-in-real-life @deeandbobbymcgee @starrynite7114 @louisianalady @itsjaybeast @-im-fantastic- @justatiredfool @scuzmunkie @ly--canthrope @yourwonkywriter @baby-your-so-golden

#fanfic #fanfiction #mayans x reader #miguel galindo #Miguel Galindo x reader

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sukiglycerin · 4 years

Text

it’s too cold outside for angels to fly || katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: pro-hero!katsuki bakugou x angel quirk!reader (gender neutral!)

* genre: fluff, angst, actually sfw (wow, luna's can do that?!)

* words: 8.1k (it’s a big baby!)

* warnings: mentions of trauma, reader is insecure but it's not their entire personality, therapy (not a lot of scenes with it), slight intoxication, mentions of throwing up (not much), like one suggestive joke, (light) cussing because bakugou

* original request: All I’m saying is reader with a angel quirk and the reader even has wings AND ANGST (but happy at the end 🥺) WITH BAKUGOU sounds so good 😔 but of course if you don’t want to do that it’s fine no pressure 💕

* a/n: hi 'nonnie! i hope you like you like this! honestly, it turned out longer than i expected (twice the length lol) but i'm proud of this baby. i'd like to note that enko, the nickname bakugou calls reader means 'halo' in japanese and can double down as a name, and an important reminder not to take any advice from the therapy in this fic. i am not a professional therapist, and please seek advice for situations specific to yours. the name of the fic is inspired by a lyric from ed sheeran's 'a-team,' but i promise it's not that dark. thanks so much to @toishi and the amazing feedback from @dylanxmin for beta-reading this! hope you enjoy!

* synopsis: you were your parents' perfect angel. you listened, and you followed. you didn't become a pro-hero, you stayed inside per your parents' request. it was okay if you couldn't fly; or, at least it was, before katsuki bakugou came along...

your grandmother loved pastries. that’s why you were here, trekking through the cold city in the tokyo winter. you shivered everytime your feathers came in contact with the frigid air, as if they, too, cowered under the looming shadows of tall buildings and bright lights.

so many people roamed the sidewalks, yet any bodily warmth was gone. you regretted not buying a cover for your wings - surely, it'd be an investment despite the price. wing covers were rarely manufactured for your size in japan, mainly aimed for small children just developing a quirk. the extra cloth needed for adult wing covers as well as shipping costs jacked up the price, making you hesitant to buy them. your wings were folded against the outside of your coat (putting them inside gave you cramps), nuzzling against your back subconsciously for heat. your wings were a pale cream colour, slightly more vibrantly mustard-coloured at the tips, and were the most visible part of your quirk.

according to the doctor, your quirk was "angel," but it felt nothing more than a pet name. there was a time in your life that you adorned a halo, but it no longer hovered above you when you looked up now. you weren't granted much power with your quirk; you were barely able to fly with your wings, but maybe you had a stronger moral compass than others? the wings, at this point in your life, were just accessories, as useless as the appendix. they could only cause you pain. you walked mindlessly toward the bakery, snow flurries dotting your hair. the bakery was a rundown, easy to miss place; you would've missed it if you hadn't gone there so many times. the faded yellow paint on the exterior was peeling, the poster on the window ripped and advertising for summer deals from years back. it had only a word-of-mouth reputation to rely on.

there was a worn sticker on the door, right at eye level, which said the name of the bakery in loopy letters: 'the flour road.'

you swung the door open with a jingle, greeted by the scent of baking bread and warmth. the bakery was your grandmother's favorite, specializing in rice cakes and dorayaki. she loved the pastries, for some reason - the baklava especially. she sent you on an errand to buy her some, giving you extra money to buy your personal favorite of dorayaki. to be exact, she pushed the money into your hands and forced you to buy a dorayaki for yourself. it was still warm when the cashier handed you your boxes, which you gingerly put in the bag.

you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the cold, before you opened the door and found yourself back in the cold winter.

a hand roughly pulled you into an alley, and you found yourself face to face with a masked figure.

"give me your money." the figure pointed to your purse, tugging it.

"i don't- i don't-" you reach to take off your purse, not questioning it. there was simply nothing you could do; besides, the voice was young enough. what if they were simply going through a rough time in life? that was no cause to-

"OI, DUMBASS, WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" a spiky haired man appeared suddenly, wearing what appeared to be melons on his arms. you suddenly recognized his getup of black, orange, and green; he was a pro-hero. what was his name? zero gravity? zero gr...ass?

"LADY, MOVE ASIDE." he looked you over. "FLY, OR SOMETHING."

"i can't-" but he was already after the thief. it took him less than 30 seconds to capture the thief; he was fast by himself, but was faster when propelled by his explosions.

"well, why are you here still?" he turned to you, the figure from before slung over his shoulder.

"i can't fly," you blurted.

he blinked. "then walk. besides, you literally have-" the figure moaned over his shoulder. "agh, nevermind, gotta take this douche to the police. go home."

the next you see of the explosive melon hero is at a supermarket. his arms are melonless this time, though, and you're not actually sure if he's the melon hero. you only recognize him by his hair and red eyes, but truthfully, it was probably not him. he was muttering something about "the spice not being spicy enough," and "stupid hair-for-brains nagging about the heat."

you felt a finger poke your wings. "hey miss, you have ugly wings." a stubby boy, no more than 5 or 6, looked up at you. smirking, he pushed his own smaller wings out, hands on his hips. "mine are teal-turquoise! yours are boring white."

"uh, okay-"

"mind your damn business, brat. where are your parents?" you could now confirm that the spiky haired man was indeed the melonhero by his voice and vulgarity. melonhero had turned to the kid, standing by your side.

the kid hmphed and walked away, to where his mother scolded him for straying from her.

"you again?" melonhero turned to you. "you really need to learn how to stand up for yourself."

"eh? i was handling it fine!"

"yeah, sure. what’s up with your wings, anyway?" he grunted. "can’t fly?"

"n-no. they're, uh, too weak." it was something hard to admit out loud for you. all winged people could fly, but you couldn't even hover, your wings just flapping up wind.

"too weak?! eh? is that even possible??" he poked one of your feathers. "they seem sturdy enough to me."

you turn your wings away from him, frowning. "it's not that easy. i-i never really had time to learn..."

"isn't that what all kids do in their free time, though? experiment with their quirk?"

"my parents thought it was useless..." you shuffled your feet awkwardly, eyes downcast.

"WORTHLESS?!" you flinched at his sudden volume. "it's your quirk, though, 'wings'?"

you rubbed the back of your neck. "well, not really... it's...." angel. the word echoed in your mind, under the spotlight on a stage. it stared at you in an empty auditorium. 'angel.' the word had negative connotations for you. to others, it was a sweet, innocent nickname, but to you, it meant more.

it represented the weight of your parents' expectations, the burden of your classes' assumptions. it became a ball and chain, reminding you of who you were, who you were supposed to be, and who you could never become. you were your parents' angel, your parents' little light. nothing else.

"'angel,' eh?"

"huh?" did melonhero suddenly manifest a mind-reading quirk? you look at him, but his gaze is above your head.

"halo."

"halo," you repeated, looking dumbly at the flickering ring above you.

"well then, enko, it's nice to meet you," he smirked.

"i'm not enko- i'm y/n-"

"enko’s better. i'm ground zero, the number one pro-"

"melonhero," you blurted.

"HUH?! what's that, moron?!"

"nothing, sorry, continue-" you apologized. what had gotten into you?

ground zero cleared his throat. "-number one pro-hero! ...it's katsuki bakugou to you."

"bakugou, i'm y/n l/n, nice to meet you! oh, and um- where are my manners? -thank you for the other day."

"don't go giving your purse to random men on the street, dumbass."

"it wasn't like that!" you protested. "i mean, what if he was going through a rough time? or, his parents kicked him out-"

"doesn't justify anything. you're so naive," he grunted. "didn't your parents teach you self-defense or anything?"

"w-well, no, not really..." you mumbled. you'd always just been their angel, delicate and thoughtful. you never wanted to disappoint them; always staying inside to clean or cater to their needs. their perfect angel. in their opinion, villains could never touch you if you never went out.

you recalled a time in your youth when deciding on a high school.

"i wanna go to ua!" you'd said. you knew a teacher willing to recommend you, so you didn't need to worry about much.

"honey, no, you can't be a hero..." your father started. "you're an angel, you're our angel, okay?"

your mom nodded. "it'll be dangerous, angel, and we can't have you getting hurt day after day," she added.

you simply agreed, not wanting to upset your parents. they were always right. being a hero wasn't worth it, anyway, you told yourself. it was an unstable job. you'd entered a private high school near the coast of japan, instead of ua.

"eh?! well, how are you supposed to fend for yourself alone?!" bakugou exclaimed.

"i'm... supposed to stay at home..." you confessed quietly.

"then why are you here?!"

"...i moved away from my family."

"and you didn't learn to protect yourself? get yourself some pepper spray, idiot!" bakugou grabbed your wrist, abruptly leading you to an aisle with pepper spray in it. he briefly paused, then picked one.

"it's on me. i can't have more morons like you to save when you could save yourself."

"thank you," you said. in all of his vulgarity, bakugou was semi-decent. you wondered why he was so on edge constantly; perhaps it was a trait from being a high-demand hero.

"HEY!" bakugou yelled, making you jump in place. "whatcha smilin' at?!"

you wiped the small grin that subconsciously crept on your face. "n-nothing."

"tch, so quiet, enko." he looked above you. "halo’s gone? fuckin' weird-ass quirk."

"could you... um... nevermind." you originally wanted to ask him to tone down the swearing, but thought better of it. the vulgarity reminded you of your uncle, and you a gagged at the thought of the disgusting man who'd occasionally crash at your family's home completely wasted.

"what? just spit it out," bakugou said. "i don't get offended, unlike deku or something."

"can you... cut down on the swearing?" you ask, then add more quickly when you see his face. "i mean, it's okay if you wanna keep doing it. i can't stop you. y'know, freedom of speech and everything."

"okay," he said with surprising composure. he didn't question the request, instead looking at you intently.

your gaze was set down, trying not to think of your uncle, and the horrors you'd gone through as a child because of him.

"i- um- sorry," bakugou forced out of himself. "i didn't mean t-"

"don't worry," you smiled cheerily. a fake smile, but you tried to convince yourself it was real.

"d'you-" he coughed, "d'you wanna talk about it?" he seemed to be going through something in his mind. "there's a park nearby - god, what did hitomi say? - we can, uh, talk it out? you can vent."

"oh no, it's fine, you're busy, a pro-hero." you said nervously.

"ah- yeah," bakugou seemed to be flustered too. "my therapist though- uh, she's really damn good- i mean, really good-" he pulls out a wallet from his pocket and sifts through cards. "here." he handed you a business card, advertising 'HITOMI YABUKI' in bold.

you blinked at him and accepted the card reluctantly. pro-heroes were really kind at heart, huh? "is she a pro-hero therapist?" you asked.

"her? no, she does other stuff. normal stuff, trauma, quirk stuff, erm- whatever you need. she's an all-rounder."

"oh." you put the card in your pocket. "okay, thank you."

he grunted, accepting the thanks. "need to buy anything else?"

you glanced at your cart. "no, that's all. thanks for everything, bakugou-"

"i'll pay," he blurted. "for it all." he looks surprised at himself, perhaps even angry. "oh, no thank you-"

"i'll do it. i mean it. you didn't even buy much," he muttered.

"o-okay," you said. he snatched your cart from your hand, walking to a self-checkout.

"weren't you gonna buy anything?" you asked.

"eh?!" he grunted while scanning items.

that was the end of the conversation. once he finished, he swiped his card and handed you a bag.

"make sure you use the damn pepper spray."

it was only once you got home that you realized he slipped his number into one of the bags.

you see bakugou again at hitomi yabuki's therapy lobby. he sat casually, earbuds on as he stared at his phone. you debated sitting next to him and decided against it, not wanting to bother him. you didn’t contact his number yet; your hands sweated at the thought. as much as you were tempted, you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of a pro-hero.

you found yourself staring at the man, who was unusually calm at the moment. you stared at his eyelashes, his eyes, down to his nose and lips, and his firm set jaw. your eyes fell to the phone he’s clutching, to the curve of his fingers and uniform nails.

"l/n y/n?" a tall woman called your name. bakugou looked up at you, and for a split second you could see what looked like a genuine smile before it was twisted into a smirk.

"yes!" you stood up and followed her, glancing back at bakugou before he disappeared from your sight. after a short elevator ride, you walked out onto the third floor.

she led you down a short, carpeted hallway to the last door. it was an opaque glass door that said "hitomi yabuki" on a plaque.

"so, what brings you here?" she finally said once the two of you were seated. "um- bakugou?" you said.

she smiled and jotted something down. "is that so?"

"yeah. we met a couple times by accident, and uh, he gave me your business card."

the rest of the session was just introductions - prices, meeting times, and therapy that can be provided. still, you weren’t really sure if you needed the therapy - maybe it’d be suited more for someone else struggling more than you. you didn’t need to use your quirk much; flying wasn’t much your style anyway. what would your parents think if they found out you were taking therapy? they’d surely be hurt, assuming that they didn’t provide a good childhood to you. you could practically hear your mom asking you why you’d waste money on therapy. you took a deep breath as you re-entered the lobby. bakugou was seating in the same place you last saw him, still on his phone. you bid goodbye to the receptionist, thinking out your decisions. your insurance could cover much of the costs for the therapy, but you still wondered if you should spend the money. these thoughts trailed you as you waited on the sidewalk for a cab, watching your breath billow in front of you.

"hey, enko."

your elbow shot out by instinct, hitting the invader of your thoughts.

"woah, idiot, it’s just me." luckily, bakugou had caught your stray elbow, chuckling to himself. "so the angel does know self-defense, eh?"

you stiffened at the pet name, though you knew bakugou meant well. you could remember each distinctive voice in your childhood. your parents beckoning: angel. your nickname: angel. how everyone saw you: angel. you could never escape it, not with your halo or wings. it was so distinctive, your defining quality. whether he noticed the shift in your posture, he didn’t say. "how was it? hitomi’s great, right?"

you hummed in response, rubbing your wings together for heat.

"are wings supposed to get cold? aren’t they just... feathers?"

your wings ruffled at the comment. you sniffed. "they’re sensitive."

"weird," bakugou muttered under his breath. for a split second, you considered smacking him with your wing, but you stopped yourself before you could execute the instinct.

your cab pulled up by the sidewalk. "that’s my ride." you smiled and waved to him as you entered the car. somewhere during the 15 minute car ride, you mustered up the courage to finally text bakugou.

who knew he was so dirty-minded, anyway? you leaned back in your car seat, exhaling. thankfully, you didn’t text the wrong number or prematurely end the conversation. so, now you were friends with a pro-hero, or so you assumed (friends texted each other, right?). the you from 10 years ago would be jumping for joy at the prospect of befriending a pro-hero, and here you were. you finally booked a therapy session for saturday at 3pm. you checked into the lobby ten minutes early, just as your parents had taught you, and took a seat in the lobby.

when it was finally your turn, you found yourself back in hitomi's office, the familar scent of vanilla and fresh linen wafting in the air.

"i hope you don't mind the scent," she said.

you shook your head. "it's fine." the fragrance was almost reassuring in a way, but you couldn’t pin point it. this time, you allowed yourself to drink in your surroundings. hitomi’s office was spacious, a large window overlooking tokyo’s snow-covered cityscape adding onto the effect. the walls followed a vertical gradient pattern of mint green and light blue decorated with paintings, hanging plants, and wooden shelves yet not in a cluttered way. in the center, against a wall, was a white couch. it had an oddly calming aura to it, as if you'd stepped into a dream outside reality.

"would you like an apple? or some water?" hitomi offered.

you weren’t really in the mood for either, but accepted the water. she gestured for you to sit on the couch.

the meeting consisted of her asking and you answering, the topic changing from family life, to your quirk, to your feelings.

"so, can you explain your quirk to me?" hitomi asked.

"well..." you gathered your thoughts. "obviously, i have wings like an angel. they don’t really do anything, though, just get sensitive to the weather. i used to have a halo when i was young, but it’s faded by now. dunno why. let’s see...." you paused. "i guess i have an inclination to help others? it’s hard for me to say no to things, honestly."

"is it because of your quirk?"

"probably," you admitted. "i’ve always been like this, i think."

"can you fly with your wings?"

"no." you sipped your water. "i guess i never learned. i’d try, but i don’t think they can support my body weight."

"how do you feel about your quirk?"

you shrugged, but then regretted it. you didn’t want to seem insensitive to all the quirkless people who could only wish for a quirk. "it’s- it’s cool, i guess. it makes me unique..." you thought back to your parents’ words, how they’d praised you for such an amazing quirk. when you used to feel bad about your quirk, they’d always remind you that there were children who’d wish to even have a quirk at all, and that you were special. your mother’s quirk allowed her to shine small rays of light through her fingertips, while your dad’s quirk gave him a wing attached to his left arm. it was pretty much useless for anything other than generating wind, considering he didn’t have a right wing to balance him out. their quirks together worked out just right to create you, their perfect angel. hitomi jotted something on her notepad.

the more you thought of it, the more you felt broken. you'd been doing therapy with hitomi for months now, and it had gotten harder and harder to emotionally process. your parents, your family, your quirk; you now saw the things for what they were.

your parents had used you. you were their doll, their perfect obedient angel, and it disgusted you. your hands felt tainted, your wings heavy weights on your back. you were revolted by yourself; looking in the mirror, you couldn't help but gag, seeing not the you of now, but the you of the past looking back at you. you couldn't sleep; tossing and turning and ruffling your wings in frustration. you couldn't stop thinking about your parents, how they restricted you from everything.

you wondered how it'd be different if your parents were better. you wondered if you'd gotten into ua and strengthened your quirk. you wondered how your reputation as a pushover would change. maybe you'd be a hero right now, helping others instead of being so irreparably broken. you could hear the catcalls from your classmates like bullets beating your wings. angel, the goody-two-shoes who couldn't say no.

not once did you cry. maybe you felt too disgusted by yourself. maybe bakugou was becoming the best friend you'd ever had.

he was there for you. making spicy curry or those awful, equally spicy instant korean noodles - he was there for you, in the same way milk is there for you when eating a particularly spicy dish. he listened to you, and you did the same for him. you laughed and joked together. somehow, in such a dark time, your friendship bloomed. it was strange, really. his reputation as a hero made him out to be aggressive and careless - and while he could brash in word choice at times, you knew he had a good heart. at one point, you’d even opened up to him about your past.

"then deku just completely f- messed up the mission! i could’ve blown up the damn guy, but he had to play mr. goody-two-shoes and just tie him up. and he got all the interview time. what’s even up with that?!"

he talked about his friends a lot. he'd deny his relationship with them being something other than strictly professional, but the way his crimson eyes would deepen gave it all away. he mainly spoke of deku and red riot (though their names would be referenced in cruder ways).

"what if- what if i was a hero?" you asked suddenly.

bakugou lifted an eyebrow. "you'd be a damn good hero if you could manage your quirk. like hawks."

"you think the public would like me?"

"duh. you're pretty, kind, AND fight villains? pretty badass. hell, if i approve of you, anyone would."

you smiled.

"why, though?" bakugou asked.

"curious. i, um, used to want to be a hero. growing up."

"your quirk has potential." bakugou leaned back on the couch. "why didn't ya become one?"

"parents." you flinched as the word passed your lips. thinking about your parents was painful, as if you had to rip off a month old bandaid before you could even get their faces into your mind. "they just... worried," you said. you didn't say anything else.

"betcha couldn't come up with a hero name as damn awesome as ground zero." "i could barely remember it," you teased.

"though, i must say, i do like enko as a hero name. it's like i'm joining an idol group."

"akb48 has nothing on you though," bakugou said.

you flushed. "i-i don't think you've looked at them properly, then."

"nah, i have, ochaco's obsessed with idol groups. don't doubt me, enko~" his voice was dangerously close, but he hadn't moved an inch from his original spot. "you're prettier than all the idols combined. tch, how low do you think my standards are?!"

"they're idol groups, bakugou, they practically rely on visuals!"

"eh? who cares? you've beaten them in looks and personality."

the thing about bakugou was that he was always completely honest with his thoughts. his integrity always amazed you, but then again, he was a pro-hero. you were quick to change the subject. "um- then-- what time is it? it must be getting late. i should get home-"

bakugou frowned. "it's late, idiot. eat before you go. i have some leftover tonkatsu and rice, and i can whip up the miso-"

"n-no, it's fine bakugou, you don't need to-"

"idiot, i can't have you starve to damn death on the ride home. eat."

even if you wanted to protest, you couldn't. bakugou's cooking was always to good to pass up, alarmingly spicy or not.

"the rice is still warm in the rice cooker," bakugou finally said, turning towards the kitchen. he knew you'd follow him, and you did.

bakugou busied himself making some instant miso soup and reheating the tonkatsu. you prepared yourself for the spicy of bakugou's tonkatsu; you'd had it once before, and it was quite painful. finally done, bakugou sat to the side of you eating tonkatsu as well, seasoning his with extra chili flakes. he was positively crazy; how did he handle such spice?

you cut yourself a strip and brought it to your lips. the tonkatsu was surprisingly tame for bakugou's cooking; it could've passed for normal restaurant tonkatsu.

"thish ish good," you said in between bites.

"i know," he gritted out, but he looked proud. "would be better with chili."

you shook your head, smiling. "never in a million years."

it was often you thought of this moment. it was so happy, so complete. it was just you and bakugou, simply being. right now, a genuine smile was something you couldn't curl your lips into, no matter how hard you tried. when you did, the taste of something salty crept into you mouth.

something salty...?

you touched your face. it was wet. your head spun, and then it dawned on you: you were crying. you were crying? your eyes focused, and pain throbbed in your head. lights shone too bright on you, heightening your headache, and a foul taste lingered in your mouth. you were suddenly aware of something solid in your hand: a drink.

something else you were aware of was how much you wanted to go home. you could barely remember what led you to a club as you fumbled in your purse for your phone, glancing at the time and unlocking the screen. all you needed to do was go home. you really wanted to go home, but where was home? home was gone. home...

a fresh wave of tears glossed your face, and you ignored the person next to you's advances. you didn't even know why you were crying. you struggled to read your contacts, dizzy, and called the first one you can make out with your hazed vision.

bakugou.

yes, all you wanted right now was bakugou. you wanted him and his warm arms, his endearing words. you wanted him so bad. you wanted him, and his warmth, and his happiness. you wanted his scent of comfort, the smile that made you feel fuzzy. you wanted his voice to shelter you precisely at that moment, you wanted to feel like it was him and you against the world.

"dumbass? hello? where are you? why is it so freaking loud? enko?"

you hadn't realized that a low quality projection of his voice was speaking on your phone.

"b-bakugou," you said, though it came out hoarsely. "bakugou."

"enko? where are you, and why are you calling at ass o'clock in the morning?"

"miss you," you almost said, but instead it came out as "dunno, you," a mix between "dunno" and "miss you."

"eh? where are you?"

you shrugged. "come here."

"send me your location, moron, and stay where you a-"

you hung up to send him your location.

you yawned and rubbed your forehead. everything was loud, everyone was together. and you were alone. it made you sad. you wanted to have somebody. a voice in the back of your head told you that you had bakugou. did you? right, he was coming. did you tell him to come?

you pressed the call button again.

"what is it?" bakugou asked roughly.

"lonelyyyy..." you moaned. "pick me up, baku...."

"idiot, i'm on my way. why the fuck are you so far from where you live?"

"hmm mmmhm," you strung together sounds. "'m sad."

"don't be." he sounded mad. he always sounded mad.

"why are you always mad at me?" you pouted.

"i'm not, dumbass! i'm pulling in."

"hmmm...!"

bakugou almost tore through the door with rage. "ENKO, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE."

you hopped toward him, wobbling a bit. the floor seemed to turn under you. enko! that was you! right?

"bakuuugoooou~" you cooed, flopping into his arms. "let's sleep."

he smelled nice. his scent enveloped you, a mix of vanilla and caramel that you’d grown so accustomed to.

he stiffened. "dumbass, i can smell the alcohol on you, we’re going the fuck home."

"don’ wanna," you whined. "lonely. wanna be with youuuuu..." you nuzzled more into his chest, finding comfort in his body warmth. you didn’t want to let go, ever. "tch, fine."

the car ride to bakugou’s place was uncomfortable. cars spun by you, lights making you woozy. you almost bashed your head on the dashboard. your seat was uncomfortable, the seatbelt itched you. despite all that, you stopped to stare at bakugou in your daze, all serious and set on the road. he had nice biceps, and his side profile was a sight for sore eyes (see also: your eyes).

"what, enko?" he grunted, glancing at you.

you said the first thing that came to your mind. "you know you smell nice?"

"huh?" he glanced at you, turning in to his driveway.

well, there was no going back now. "you smell like caramel... and vanilla... it’s nice..." you sighed happily, imagining the fragrance.

bakugou didn’t reply, instead parking and unlocking the doors. "get out, dumbass, it’s past your bedtime."

"but i don’t haaaaaave a bedtime," you slurred, stumbling out of the car. bakugou mumbled a complaint before hoisting you over his shoulder. it was probably not the best move, considering the blood rushing to your head made you feel sick. after entering his house, bakugou set you down on a sofa, sitting you upright.

"stay here."

you leaned back on the sofa, feeling suddenly empty. the buzz in your head had not quite left, but the weight of the world came crashing down again. therapy, your parents, your quirk. it struck you that you were probably bothering bakugou and disturbing his sleep; he was a pro-hero after all, lives depended on his health. but here you were, ever so selfish and probably taking a toll on his health.

"drink." you hadn't realized bakugou had put a glass of water in your hands. you simply nodded and gulped it down, hoping to sober yourself up.

you stared at the man glossy eyed, glass in your hand half empty. "bakugou."

"eh?"

"sorry."

"for what?"

"y'know... waking you up... bothering you... i know you're busy, and-"

"shut up, it doesn't matter. i'd rather you here than in the hands of some douche at the club."

"but still, how would i make it up-"

"by sleeping well. off to bed you go."

he started pushing you towards the hallway. "where will you sleep?"

"sofa."

"but bakugou-"

"go to bed."

"i feel sick-"

"hah?"

a rising sensation of bile emerged in your throat. the only words you could get out of your mouth was "bathroom," before you rushed in. it was not a pretty sight - you preferred to skim over the details when recalling it. the details you did not skim over, however, were that of bakugou's care; for being awoken at ungodly hours in the morning, he was surprisingly gentle with your vomiting state, soothing your stomach with warm hands and rubbing your back. after, he gave you a glass of water and forced you to take ibuprofen, though you swore you felt fine.

bakugou's bed was surprisingly comfortable. then again, bakugou did claim to have gone to bed at 8:30 sharp daily during his high school years, so it made sense he still valued sleep.

you were then reminded how you disrupted his.

and how you were now forcing him to sleep on the sofa.

you padded out of his room, wearing one of bakugou's old shirts that he'd graciously lended you, to the living room. he was laying on his back, feet sticking out of the sofa, eyes closed.

"what?" he asked, eyes still shut.

you knew he wouldn't let you feel guilty about intruding his sleep, so you settled upon saying the next best thing. it was partially true, anyway.

"'m lonely without you." your voice came out smaller than intended.

"huh?" he sat up, groggily looking at you.

"it's- kinda cold, and y'know, with your quirk..."

he grunted and obliged, walking toward his bedroom. you stood behind him, staring at his back; that was surprisingly easy.

bakugou slept with his arms around you, so you were nestled comfortably into his chest. this position felt strangely domestic; something lovers might do nightly. but you and bakugou weren't lovers, you were friends. image of you and bakugou involved romantically faded into your mind; coffee shop dates, cooking together, waking up next to each other. there was a sudden loss of breath in your chest, as if your heart had become weightless and was lifted by a thousand of butterflies taking flight. bakugou... romantically? it hadn't crossed your mind. still, you could see it so vividly in your mind; you, becoming his dumbass, his and his only. you could imagine how he'd look at you, full of love in his eyes, and how he'd gently kiss your forehead in the morning. was it so bad to want that? the more your thoughts indulged you, the more his body warmth drowsed you, his calm breathing adding to the effect. he was practically nyquil in human form. you found yourself nodding off in his arms, not before mumbling a quiet "what if i liked bakugou?" and clutching his shirt closer to you.

you were far too engrossed in the realm of sleep to hear bakugou's faint but hopeful reply of "i'd hope so, dumbass."

at your next therapy meeting, you told hitomi about bakugou. it was unplanned, spilling out of your mouth as soon as she asked why you looked so anxious. you couldn't like bakugou. you blamed your slightly intoxicated past self for planting such a thought in your brain, but you knew it just admitted a lingering feeling from in your heart. you spared her the details of the throwing up and the guilt that gnawed at you regarding how bakugou cared for you.

"it's... childish, right? like an old schoolgirl crush," you flushed, finishing your confession.

hitomi shook her head. "it's good to feel this way, actually. it's quite healthy for a twenty-something like you to harbour such feelings; it allows you to explore your feelings and relationships healthily."

even so, crushing was so damn frustrating. it's one thing to like a person; it's a completely different experience after admitting to yourself, yes, they're my crush. when you were younger, you very rarely developed crushes (as influenced by your parents) and even less were able to act on them. but now, as an adult, you had the freedom to act (or not, considering how your nerves constantly started to act up around bakugou). you decided to push the feelings down; you were just friends, and bakugou had no time to pursue a romantic relationship.

if having a crush was like an addiction, rehab was torture for you. gone were the days of seeing bakugou as platonic; you couldn't stop your heart from swelling whenever he recounted his day to you. bakugou had now become attractive, from his tight, bulging muscles to his hard chest. it did not help that you had to see him in his hero costume flaunting those features every other day on the news.

you convinced yourself bakugou harboured nothing but platonic sentiment for you, but he never failed to send your heart aflutter with discreet compliments he hid under rough comments. you started leaving early whenever the two of your hung out under the guise of other plans (that in reality didn't exist), and tried to always cut conversations short when you bumped into each other in public. he was ground zero, pro-hero, and you were just a civilian who could barely maintain their quirk.

you were just starting your quirk therapy, but you couldn't expect major changes a week in. bakugou had said your wings looked brighter, but you assumed he just said that to make you feel better. you could hover off the ground for less than a second now, but your wing strength lacked too much to be able to do anything requiring more strength. your halo was still absent, and you couldn't figure out how to make it reappear. there hadn't been much research done on the essence of halos; hitomi said not to worry about it regardless.

flap flap flap.

"oi, dumbass, you're gonna create a tornado in here."

flap flap flap.

"i'm practicing flying."

"well, you're going nowhere. d'you want me to call hawks or something?" flap flap flap.

you turned to bakugou, folding your wings neatly. he had the same expression as always, slightly disapproving and tired. your eyes meet his momentously; but they fall down immediately to his lips. lately, this kind of thing had been happening often. bakugou acted like he didn't notice you'd been different lately, but you could tell he wanted an explanation.

you acted on your impulse, your mouth opening and words tumbling from your mouth.

"bakugou- idon'twanttoruinourfriendshipbutijustwannasayitnow- ilikeyou."

"what?" why did you do that?

if this were a texting conversation, you'd leave him on read. if this was a tweet, you'd make your account private. if this was a video call, you'd end it.

alas, this was real life, so you resorted to the next closest thing: you ran. you ran faster than any shoujo girl and with more conviction than any shounen boy, and then you were lost. damn cities.

panting on the sidewalk, wings heaving up and down, you realized what you did. staring at the edge of the pavement, where the curb met the street, hands on your knees, it hit you.

you cussed and yelled at yourself mentally, and though a small part doubted bakugou even heard you, you didn’t allow yourself to have hope. it was game over. you let your feelings override rational thought, and you ruined what was arguably the best thing going on in your life.

you were interrupted by an itch in your feathers from being so cramped while folded. they ruffled against the cool air, distraught. you stretched them out, observing your surroundings and allowing yourself to cool down. the breeze was a satisfying sensation against your feathers, and you hovered just a moment when they flapped.

"mommy, wings!" a kid passes you on the sidewalk, pointing. his mother hushes him, but you smile at him.

the next few days were rough, particularly because you were avoiding bakugou. it was definitely not a good idea, but it was a temporary patch over the open part of your heart.

this was not one of your healthy coping mechanisms.

did he text you? did he call you? you didn’t know, because you turned off your notifications. you knew you were just making things more awkward, even more so if he hadn’t heard you at all. it gave you all the more excuse to ignore him longer.

now, with evenings to yourself, your mind wandered more. your thoughts drifted into a vast desert of tangled constellations in your mind, tightropes you’d tread that would lead you to a random destination. sometimes it led you to random memories - other times, it wasn’t as random, leading you to painful manifestations in your heart. these were the things you tried so hard to ignore, but rang so true.

you were reminded by the constellations in your mind that you were being terribly selfish to bakugou; not even considering his feelings. bakugou didn't deserve you. maybe stars twinkled in your mind, but the bluest ones burned you to the touch. you needed to get over bakugou.

that wasn’t to say it didn’t hurt, trying to get over bakugou. the stars in your mind dimmed, and perhaps, at one point, the constellations were reduced to thread; knotted, tangled, and hopeless.

maybe it was better when the string had been unkempt, because now it unraveled. you cried, and cried; in the shower, at your desk, doing chores. tears, hot and sharp like newly shapen diamonds, dripped down your face. your face was permanently marked by the wounds the diamonds left, and contrary to the stars, your eyes were red and hot. your thoughts unwound like string - there was a clear pathway now, but it was tainted by the shape of the knots there had once been.

everything hurt when you thought of bakugou. your swollen eyes became lifeless as memories of him overtook you. they controlled you. you missed therapy session after session, too scared to go to the place which bakugou had connected you to. sometimes, you’d sprawl across the ground, stare into your ceiling, and feel yourself vanish into something, a dark void of nothingness. he had cared so much for you - too much. why had he? why couldn’t he have left you, that one day you were almost robbed? why couldn’t you just have stayed the way you were? why did you have to find the truth in things? ignorance was a bliss you woke yourself from. ignorance, the dream which from you woke to find a nightmare, reality. why did he have to be him, the stupid pro-hero with a heart that bled kindness into yours? why couldn’t he have stayed a two-dimensional public figure, the careless and angry ground zero? why did he have to be in your goddamn life and ruin it, entangle everything into one big mess? you hated him. you hated him and his stupid endearing insults, him and his rugged smirk that pained your heart so, him and his eyes that held sparks and diamonds and you. deep inside, you knew it wasn’t true; hate was just a name for an indefinably strong feeling you had for him. you knew you didn’t hate him, you knew you couldn’t hate him. you told yourself you did to distance yourself from him. the distance between you and he only grew. your memories were tarnished with pain, his image blurry and wrinkled in your eyes. katsuki bakugou was just someone, no one.

this was the feeling of agony, this was the sight of pure hell, and this was the sound of you burning your heart. distance between you and the man named katsuki bakugou grew, as did your descent into pure madness.

until the distance between you and he was less than a metre.

you had not bothered to tame your hair; it was a bit overgrown and sprouted a couple split ends. you were dressed in a stained shirt, your face not even mentionable, and your heart was beating in your ears. you felt yourself dragged quite forcefully down to sanity, as if opening the door suddenly put gravity into effect.

because here he was, katsuki bakugou in all of his perfect glory, standing on your doorstep.

the little shit refrained from making a comment about your current state, but you could see the comment appearing in his eyes and vanishing as soon as it came. you watched his eyes go from the state of your face down to your unkempt attire. he, on the other hand, looked unaffected. he was sporting a t-shirt and jeans, hands shoved into his pockets. the only indicator, which was minuscule at best, that he had changed at all was the red at the corners of his eyes and slight eyebags. he looked shocked at the sight of you.

"y/n..." you almost fainted on the spot.

you weren’t not jumping for joy in ecstasy at the sight of him, and you didn’t feel like a shoujo protagonist at the moment. it was something different.

"again," but your voice was too hoarse to be heard. your mouth opened and closed, you coughed, and repeated yourself. "s-say it again."

"huh?!" it was nice to know someone hadn’t changed after all that time.

"my- my name..."

"eh? enko."

you sighed, your face indifferent. you weren’t exactly disappointed by his reply; it brought memories upon memories of happier times with him.

"well, what do you want?" you asked, rubbing the side of your face.

"what- what the fuck is going on?" he gestured to you. "i should be asking about you. what the f- what happened to you?!"

"i-"

"enko, i don’t get any of this shit. this relationship crap. what do you want me to do?! first, you act weird as shit- because of what?! i don’t fuckin’ know. you avoid me - don’t think i didn’t notice - and then suddenly you spew shit and leave?! i don’t see you for a goddamn week, you don’t answer your damn calls or texts, and suddenly i’m the damn villain and i’m supposed to give you time or shit to figure things out, and when i can finally fucking see you, you look like actual crap?! hell, i should be the one with deteriorating mental health with all of the bull you put me through! if you want something, if you don’t wanna be friends or shit, just goddamn say it to my face! i’m not good with people, enko, goddamnit! tell me what’s wrong!"

you stood in shock. relationship..? you shook his words away. you hadn’t realized how much this took a toll on bakugou, too. he looked away - something glinted in his eyes, but you couldn’t tell exactly what.

"god-fucking-damnit," he grumbled. "...are ya gonna let me in, or what?! it’s cold out here!"

you didn’t think about how bakugou’s quirk involved producing heat, and let him in unreluctantly, stepping aside. "sorry," you mumbled.

he took off his shoes, and you motioned for him to sit down on your couch.

"explain it to me," he demanded. "what in the goddamn world has happened tot you? did someone do this to you?!"

you refrained from saying technically, it was you, and settled on: "no." it was apparent he hadn’t heard you that day. "just- it’s nothing. i was being stupid, a-and i’m okay now." it was a lie.

"do you take me as an idiot?" he asked. gears shifted in his eyes. "sit down," he said, suddenly calm.

you did so, sitting as farthest as you could from him.

"closer," he gritted out. you scooted a centimetre. "closer." another centimeter. "clo-ser." he pulled you so you were sitting angled toward him, knee brushing his.

"baku...gou?" so many questions flashed in your mind.

"confirm something for me," he ordered. "what exactly did you say to me before running away?"

"i- nothing. it was nothing, i told you, bakugou."

"tell. me. i don’t care if you quoted freud, told me a failed joke, or what. tell me."

your mind was devoid of possible jokes you could use to lie.

you opened your mouth, forcing the words out with all your might. "i don’t remember the specifics," you rambled. "i don’t think i was in the right state of mind-"

"spit it out."

"i think it went something like ‘i like you’ or something?" your pitch rose with every syllable.

"tch," a smile was on his face. "thought so." his hand was suddenly on your cheek, and his lips were on yours. he tasted like caramel. your eyes widened, and you pulled away, sputtering.

"what? what d’you mean, ‘thought so’?!"

"idiot, i like you too. also, when did you last brush your teeth?"

"i- that doesn’t matter. bakugou... i don’t think that this relationship is good for us. as friends or whatnot."

"huh? why not?"

"look at me. look at you. i can barely handle my quirk, and you’re a pro-hero who uses his quirk to help people. i can’t really do anything."

he mumbled something under his breath. "enko, do you think i care about any of that? i don’t care if you have the strongest quirk in the world or none at all. you’re strong - and i don’t say this ‘cause i like you - you’re kind, you see the best in people." he paused. "people don’t give me the time of day ‘cause they think i’m too irrational. brash. careless. but you? you see past that, you don’t care. you work hard no matter what people say. people-" his voice caught in his throat, "people say shit to you, and you don’t care. you keep going."

he saw you... like that? your face heated up.

"don’t be gettin’ all shy on me," he grunted. "tch. come here." he pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around you and narrowly avoiding your wings. you flushed, holding him tight and inhaling his caramel scent. you squeezed your eyes shut, wishing to hold him like this forever.

“hey, enko,” he whispered into your ear. you looked at him, who was currently looking up and pointing. “halo.”

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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years

Text

//missing pieces. miya atsumu//

Warnings: mild swearing. Feelings of hopelessness. infidelity

Word Count: 2.2K

Notes: imnotcryingimnotcryingimnotcrying.

{Read Part II - "Broken Pieces" HERE}

You heard them before they even entered the door. The loud shouts and the howls of laughter. If you sat up enough on the couch, the MSBY training jackets were visible through the front window. Hinata’s orange hair bounced wildly as he jumped excitedly with his older Jackals. It was the fifth time this week that the boys had come over after practice.

It was the fifth time this week that the boys had disrupted your much needed study time. A senior in college, a list of midterms too long to comprehend, and more mental breakdowns than you cared to account for, the hours that your boyfriend was at practice and you could relax and study in the comfort of your shared home was pure bliss.

The door swung open, giving you a full account of just how loud they were being. Atsumu was doubled over in fits of giggles, tugging his sneakers off, Hinata and Bokuto shouting bits and pieces of the same story only a few steps behind.

“Y/N? You here?” Atsumu calls out as he is finally able to calm himself down enough to speak normally again.

“Living room, ‘mu!”

In a matter of seconds, he’s bounding into the room, leaning over your shoulder. “I’m home.” You don’t even have to look at him to know that he has the widest grin on his face, just like he always does when he gets back from practice. No matter how long or how grueling his day, Atsumu never fails to greet you with the biggest smile.

“I see that. How was practice?”

“Good! My hands are kinda sore though,” he whines, opening and closing his hands in front of you as if to show you the pain he was enduring.

“Well, you’re new to this pro stuff still, Atsumu. Your body will get used to it soon.”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs a little, resting his chin on the top of your head. “The guys are here.”

“Trust me, I, and the entire neighborhood, know. Let me just finish this question real quick and I’ll let you guys have the living room.”

“Aw, come on! You don’t want to hang out with us?”

“I need to study or else I would love to.”

He hums in affirmation. “You’re going to do so well. I’ll make sure we keep it down so you can focus, okay?” There’s a soft kiss placed on your head as you pack up your laptop and notes so you can go study in the bedroom.

“Thank you, ‘mu,” you say, standing on your toes to give his lips a short peck as you pass.

But that was then.

And this was now.

“Are you serious?! You can’t lock me out of my room, Y/N!”

“Our room, Atsumu, and too bad. I did!”

His fist pounds on the door, the intensity of each knock sending vibrations throughout the room. “Y/N, this is ridiculous! Open the door!”

“I’m trying to work. This report has to be done for tomorrow. Please, ‘mu.”

“Don’t ‘mu’ me when you’re literally locking me out the bedroom!”

You roll your eyes, leaning over to twist the lock and tug the door open. Your boyfriend tumbles into the room as his support is swung away from him. He doesn’t even look at you. He just goes straight to the closet, throwing clothes onto the bed. “Where are you going?” You ask, looking up from your laptop briefly as he throws a pair of jeans a little too far, hitting you in the leg.

“Does it matter?” He starts peeling off the lounge clothes that he had been wearing most of the day, opting for a slightly more put together outfit for his night out.

You just shrugged. “I guess not.” Yes.

“Then don’t worry about it.” Atsumu tugs his jeans up and takes a look at himself in the mirror. He ruffles his hand through his hair in a poor attempt to give it some extra volume. You watch him make a few dumb facial expressions at himself. Satisfied, he pulls his hat over his head. With wallet and phone in hand, he finally turns to look at you. “Okay. I’ll see you later,” he states plainly, walking past you and out the bedroom door.

“Do you have your keys?” The only answer you receive is an annoyed jingle of his keyring from the other room.

The thud of front door closing is the sole sign that he had left. There were no final shouts of “Bye, princess! I love you!” “I love you more, ‘mu!” “I love you most!” Those days have long since past. They had been replaced with eerie silences and quick exits from both parties. Life in the current household was far from what it had been a year ago. There were no soft shared kisses just because. No gentle teases as the evening news played in the background. No long cuddle sessions on the couch because both of you were too lazy to get up to go to bed. There was no smacking his hands out of the mixing bowl while you tried to make dinner.

Atsumu wasn’t home long enough for those things anymore. He’d come running in from practice, quickly shower and change out of his sweaty clothes. And as fast as he came, he would be gone, maybe shouting “I’m going out with the guys!” but usually, he would just leave, the slam of the door echoing through the house.

You kept telling yourself that this would pass. He was just excited to finally be achieving his dreams. Of course he would want to hang out with his new teammates and friends. There was a level of trust there that he needed to build with them as their setter and if crowding around Hinata’s television, playing video games was how they bonded, then so be it. Who were you to tell his team how they should and shouldn’t spend their time? But this had been going on for months.

Months of no hellos and no good mornings. Months of Atsumu coming home late, the faint smell of alcohol on his breath as he tucked into bed an arm’s length away from you. He returned affection with the minimum amount of effort, maybe a short apology as he broke away from a kiss, explaining that the guys were waiting for him. It felt like a wedge had been shoved between the two of you, the rest of the Black Jackals jamming you further and further away from him.

Part of you kept hoping that you would wake up, secured in his arms, a gruff “Good morning” whispered in your ear only followed by a soft whine as you tried to get out of his grasp, causing him to just pull you tighter into his chest. You kept hoping that whatever switch flipped in his head to cause this would flip back and the Atsumu that you fell in love with would come back to you, but it never happened. He just kept straying away, not even bothering to look back at how far he had drifted.

You had hoped today would be different. It wasn’t every day that the two of you accomplished four years of putting up with each other’s bullshit. But, when his alarm sounded and he just got up like nothing was different, that slight bubble of hope that was buried in your chest popped. Maybe- maybe he just wanted to focus before practice. Yeah, that’s all this was. Surely, he hadn’t forgotten, right? Atsumu could be a jerk, but he wasn’t that much of an asshole. He wouldn’t have forgotten your anniversary.

“What’s this for?” he had asked as he took the neatly wrapped package from you as he sat down at the table, his bowl of cereal nearly empty.

So, he did forget.

“I’ll open it later. I’m going to try to get a run in before practice.” You didn’t even have the chance to wish him a happy anniversary before he got up to put his bowl in the sink, headed out of the room to slip on his sneakers for his jog.

So, now, as you sat in your shared bed, it felt like the unopened package was staring intently into your soul, mocking you for your failing relationship. Four years of laughter, excitement, and love seemed to mean nothing to him and you couldn’t figure out what you did to make him choose volleyball. It was his dream and you understood that. You would never keep him from being the man he always dreamed of being.

It tore you apart inside, this feeling of absolute failure. It had been bugging you for a while now, but this- that stupid box sitting on his side of the bed, was your breaking point. You didn’t understand what you did. Why was he pushing you away? Did you not support him enough? Did he think that you didn’t care for him? As the questions weighed heavily on your mind, you felt that all-too-familiar sting of salty tears forming in your eyes.

You shook your head, silently begging for the tears to just go away. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. He wasn’t upset, so you shouldn’t be either, right? But, you were. You were devastated that no matter how hard you tried to put everything back together, the pieces just kept slipping out from between your fingertips and just as soon as everything felt like it was all coming back together, Atsumu would be holding the final pieces to puzzle, refusing to snap them into their place. In his hands, he held the most important pieces. Those gorgeous center parts that brought the entire picture into focus, showing off the breath-taking beauty of it. But, as of now, it was just the background, the few random bits and bobs, scattered around the scene, each beautiful in their own way, but meaning nothing without the center point of the image.

The worst part? You didn’t know when the pieces of your relationship went scattering all over the place, leaving you to scramble, picking everything up on your own while Atsumu was at practice or hanging out with the guys. You just know that it’s felt like ages since everything was put together in perfect harmony.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to pull your hair from your head so you could feel something, anything, other than this complete and utter worthlessness and despair that had been swelling within your chest, waiting to be let out.

The hot tears rushed down your face in torrents, but apart from your gentle sniffs, there was silence. There were no sounds of pitiful weeping. It was an art that you had learned to perfect after many nights where these feelings washed over you, not wanting to wake Atsumu, not wanting him to stare at you with blank eyes and tell you to, “Stop crying and go to bed.”

But, right now- right now, you didn’t care. You wanted to hear his voice in your ear, shushing you, reassuring you that everything was fine, just like it used to. The line rings, rings, rings -

“You’ve reached Miya Atsumu. Sorry that I missed your call, but if you leave me a message, I’ll get back to you!”

The beep that signals you to leave your message is what urges you to just hang up. You toss your phone to the side, hoping that, just maybe, he’ll notice your missed call and give you a call back or even just a text message would be good enough for you.

But, there never was. There was no soft ting at the sound of an incoming message. You never heard the ringtone that had been set to Atsumu’s contact, signifying that he had called you. You waited hours, your eyes being dry for a long while at this point, leaving just the shell of a broken person in your place. Your gaze never left that stupid box. You were entranced, staring at the black and gold paper, watching it sheen as it would catch the light slipping in from the window.

Not even the sound of the swinging open could pull you out of your emotionless gaze. Miya Atsumu just stared into your face, eyes red and puffy, streaks in your make-up where the tears removed your foundation. Somewhere deep within his chest, there was a soft pang of sadness. There was nothing that he hated more than seeing you so distraught that you completely shut down. Yet, he said nothing. He simply pulled a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from his drawer, pulling his clothes off his body to change into something that he could sleep in. His shirt came off and your gaze became fixated on his toned chest.

But, even your empty eyes knew the bright red lines of scratches and the harsh purple bruises of a hickey when you saw them.

“‘Mu?”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu #miya #msby black jackals #atsumu x reader #angst #imagine #x reader #part 1

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ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au · 4 years

Text

let’s talk about TUA fandom

y’all are hypocritical - let’s just get it out there.

before you start typing out some angry comments or coming in my ask-box lemme explain my reasoning here.

LUTHER HARGREEVES

Luther is one of the most hated characters in this fandom for some unknown reason to me. He is just another victim in all of this and as much as all of you want to blame everything on his actions, he simply acted in what he thought were the best interests of everyone. Luther showed his trauma in the same way the rest did.

In my opinion, Luther is one of the most underrated characters in The Umbrella Academy because all of you are too busy with your thirsting after Diego or uWu-ing over Klaus to notice him.

So here is Luther’s trauma broken down for all of you.

Luther was doomed from the moment he was chosen to be Number One, it’s that simple. From the very moment Reginald chose him, he had no chance, because he had the expectation of being the best put on his shoulders by a man who was never going to see any of them as anything less than worthless.

But Luther was determined to live up to his name, to be what his father wanted him to be – to be Number One.

Because for Luther he was sure everything that Reginald was doing was out of love. But I think Luther deep down knew that their father didn’t love them, but he needed to believe it was out of love, he couldn’t stand the thought of it being anything but love, because if it wasn’t love then it wasn’t worth it. He needed it to be worth it.

We got a glimpse of that in season one when he found all the packages he sent to Reginald. He never had any friends, he never left the house, he gave up his entire life for his father and the mission he believed in. Because he needed to believe it was worth it and when he found out it wasn’t – well, he had thrown his entire life away for what? It wasn’t because their father loved them or believed in them. So what was it?

Just to prove to all of you that Luther is more like his siblings than you all want to admit, here are some comparisons -

LUTHER: needed the moon to have a reason behind it, so much so that his obsession put others in danger. He also couldn’t face it when it turned out his mission was for nothing - so he regressed to his old behavior of thinking his father was right.

DIEGO: needed to be the hero, even though I’m almost positive Diego isn’t a complete idiot and knows that dramatically changing history would be bad - aka saving JFK could make the timeline explode, he needed to save him. So much so he was willing to put all of his siblings in jeopardy.

LUTHER: was told from the beginning he was the leader and that being Number One meant that he had to be the best. Because of this he had an inflated sense of importance. It just meant he had a higher distance to fall when he finally realized that it all meant nothing. He also doesn’t take their opinions or plans seriously because he’s Number One and his plans are superior.

FIVE: is a cocky little shit, who is insistent he is the smartest person around and he might be. But he views everyone around him as lesser, that includes his siblings. He has spent his entire time in the apocalypse trying to get back to save his siblings but still treats them like garbage. He also never lets his siblings in on anything that’s happening, he never sits them down and explains anything, and when they try to contribute with a plan or a theory he looks at them like they are stupid.

LUTHER: was sent to the moon, alone, with no one to talk to. Before that he had no friends his age, his only companions were Grace, his father, and Pogo. He’s been alone for a long time.

VANYA: has been alone for a lot longer than Luther - but trauma is not a competition and they both have dealt with it differently. I just wanted to point out these two similarities between the two characters.

LUTHER: is desperate for love and affection from his father. Everything he has done has been to get Reginalds approval and love but none of it has ever worked. He got small glimpses of things, like his dad’s favorite spot under a tree, so maybe he got a bit closer than the others but it was not real love.

ALLISON: is desperate for love and affection in general - hence her stardom. She needs attention, she feeds on it. It isn’t until she has Claire that I think she truly understands that everything until then has been fake. The unconditional love of a child made her realize that all of that fake love and affection is no match for real love.

LUTHER: has probably felt like a monster since before his transformation - having super-strength means having to be very careful with your own body. But after the transformation must’ve been so much worse.

BEN: literally has a monster inside of him and has always felt like a monster. The difference is he has openly spoken about feeling like a monster.

LUTHER: has always been in control of himself. He is the exact opposite of Klaus in how he uses control to deal with trauma. Luther needs control in order to deal with trauma.

KLAUS: has no control and he does not want it. To deal with trauma Klaus loses control by using drugs and alcohol but he also uses it to control his powers.

So now that I’ve gotten through the siblings a bit, let’s talk about another topic that has a bit of hypocrisy behind it -

ALLISON X LUTHER

For some reason this ship is very despised in the fandom, I don’t know if it’s because of the fact that one part of it is Luther but a lot of the reasons I see are just - ‘ew, they’re siblings’.

Yet, most of the ships in TUA fandom are of the siblings being paired together.

Five x Vanya [fics on ao3 - 372]

Diego x Klaus [fics on ao3 - 687]

Ben x Klaus [fics on ao3 - 311]

The only other ships that top these are -

Dave x Klaus [fics on ao3 - 1409]

Diego x Patch [fics on ao3 - 434]

And let’s be really honest for a second here - them being in any romantic relationship with each other, is not weird. None of them are biologically related to one another. They were just raised in the same household as one another and told to treat each other as siblings. If they had never been adopted by Reginald Hargreeves and met randomly on the side of the road, this discussion would be moot.

I find the Five x Vanya ship much more disturbing if I’m being honest, simply because most of the fics ship a fully grown Vanya, in the body of a 31-ish year old, with Five - who while mentally is like in his 60s or whatever, is back in his 13 year old body. If Vanya did ever get with Five before his body turned 18, it would be statutory rape.

Let’s also just for a second list some other fandom pairings that are pretty popular that people ship that have the same ‘we grew up as siblings but we aren’t biologically related’ trope.

Thor x Loki [fics on ao3 - 10894]

Eren x Mikasa [fics on ao3 - 1221]

John Marston x Arthur Morgan [fics on ao3 - 651]

Max x Alec [fics on ao3 - 357]

Iris x Barry [fics on ao3 - 3689]

It’s incredibly strange to me how unpopular Allison x Luther is - especially since it’s actually canon in the comics. Granted, some things from the comics of course should change or be adapted, but the chemistry between Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver-Lampman is just spectacular, especially during the dance scene in The Day That Wasn't.

I absolutely loved that scene (still mad it’s nowhere on youtube). I felt like we got to see Luther both as how Allison sees him and for a moment he was out of his head with Allison, relaxed and just himself.

If you just don’t ship it, just say you don’t ship it.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Alright. I think my duty as a member of the Luther-Protection squad is finished. If you can’t see your hypocrisy after this post, I really don’t know what to tell you. If you would like to have a calm discussion about why you think I’m wrong or right, I’m willing to talk about it. However, anyone who comes at me just spewing vitriol or that I’m so stupid will not be taken seriously, if you can’t have a calm discussion about things then I won’t take you seriously.

I do want to say though - I understand having favorite characters, I’m a sucker for characters that are only held back from destroying the world by a hug (Vanya). But I’m also someone who loves to look at the entire picture and appreciate the depth of each character in a series, even the ones I hate. In fact - some of my favorite characters were ones I hated and the actors/actresses soon became my favorite because it takes a lot of talent to make people hate you.

So for a moment, really think if you hate Luther Hargreeves or if you dislike his actions and if it’s his actions, who you really should hate is Reginald Hargreeves because all Luther has ever done has been a reaction to trauma - exactly like the rest of his siblings.

#the umbrella academy fandom #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy season 2 #tua2 #tua #spoilers #i'm calling y'all out #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #trauma #reginald hargreeves #luther x allison #dumbasses being dumbasses #they are all stupid

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liliesoftherain · 4 years

Text

Ground Zero reads Thirst Tweets

A/N: Hey guys, this is a collab with @pinky-the-elephant-room !! This is the first part, and the second part can be found here! Her part is NSFW so since i’m a SFW blog we thought it would be best to split the parts! So here’s my contribution!

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

You walked inside the studio, thanking the heavens that it was cooler than it was outside. Greeting the producers of the setup, you gladly made your way by the set to see two stools placed side-by-side in front of a blue backdrop.

“Hello, Seize-san! Thank you so much for coming in today, I am Hana and I’m here to help you through this!” You grinned at the young woman who walked up to you. She was short stature and plump figure and gave off the impression of a warm and welcoming personality. Instantly putting you at ease.

“Thank you so much for having me! It’s an honor to be showcased here, along with another hero! You guys are truly kind to grant the opportunity to work alongside you, and please, call me (l/n).”

She nodded enthusiastically, grinning at the praise from such a top hero as yourself.

“Thank you again, (l/n)-san, come let’s get you ready for the camera! Are you in need of anything to drink, anything to snack on?”

“No ma’am, I am fine! I’m just ready for the shoot!”

“As is your partner!”

You both shared a laugh, both knowing the person you were recording with today was the opposite of ready for this.

“Oh, I’m sure that is the case, ma’am, where is he by the way?”

“He’s right behind you, stupid.”

You turned to see the annoyed blonde behind you, being escorted to the seating area close to where you were being led.

“Ah Ground Zero, good to see you haven’t blown anything up yet.”

“Shove off, hurry up so we can get this over with.”

You laughed, waving him off as the members looked on with concern.

“Don’t be rude, Bakugou! I’ll be there with you soon enough; all you have to do is be good and wait for me.” You winked, eyeing him up and down before turning back around, allowing Hana to guide you off towards your station to get ready.

The makeup artists just refreshed your makeup and made you ready for the video. You came out of the dressing room, dressed in your usual hero costume but looking less like you’ve been running through the streets of Tokyo. Bakugou was in usual costume but without his hand gauntlet.

“Okay you two, we’d like to thank you for taking the time to come on set and do this showing. These tweets are real, and we just want your genuine reaction from them! We’ll try to limit the cuts to be able to ensure that real response, and don’t be afraid to let loose! These are Thirst Tweets for a reason!”

You laughed along with everyone else, except Bakugou who looked a little annoyed by the entire thing. You gave him a slight shove with your shoulders, biting your lip subtly as his gaze locked onto yours.

“Cheer up already, this is supposed to be fun. What, do you not want to be here with me?”

“That’s not--Shut up, shitty woman. Just get ready.” he huffed, glancing away from your stare as he mumbled back.

“Okay, starting in 3, 2…,” The cameraman pointed instead of saying one, signaling the tape was now rolling. You beamed at the camera, working your charm as you gave a little wave.

“Hi, guys! I’m, (l/n) (y/n), or better yet, Seize!”

“And I’m Bakugou Katsuki, Ground Zero.”

“And today we’re reading…,” you trailed off, looking expectantly at your partner.

“Thirst Tweets.”

“You could be a little more enthusiastic you know.”

“Oi, shut it!”

You giggle, looking deviously at the camera before swiping his mug-shaped container.

“Oi, what are you-”

“Let’s see what people are saying about our dear Ground Zero, hm? That’s alright with everyone else, right?”

The crew joyfully agreed at the twist, and with their approval, you shoved your container in Katsuki’s chest.

“All right, let’s see,” You snorted, slapping Bakugou’s shoulder as you read the first tweet, “‘I would love to be able to rip that Hero suit right off of Ground Zero and rub my face along those God-like abs. Can a man be any hotter!? Have you seen his moobs!? *dROOLING*”

“Ha!?” Bakugou looked at the tweet with narrowed eyes before looking back at the camera, “Do you know how expensive this hero suit is!? You ain't ripping shit! Plus, what the hell are moobs?”

“Oh Bakugou, half of the world's population would love to rip that suit off, myself included. Plus, those are your man boobs, and they are absolutely correct, you have the best titties I have ever seen!” You winked at the camera while throwing the paper over your shoulder, “NEXT!”

You gave your bucket a good shake, making eye contact with the confused blonde who was still stuck on your last comment.

“‘Y’all don’t understand what I would do just to have @GroundZero to choke me with a gloved hand. Or do anything to me really. He could hit me with his car, repeated use his quirk on me, give me paper cuts all over my body and throw me into a pool of lemon juice, and I’d beg for some more like yes zaddy **** my ***** up!,’ OH MY GOD.” You used one hand to hold your mouth in amusement, putting the bucket between your thighs so you could show the tweet with your now free hand.

“You have some pretty kinky fans, Bakugou,” you teased, waving the paper in his face as he grabbed your wrist to hold it steady, staring in disbelief.

“You all are disgusting, why in the fuck would anyone do that to you? Let alone me, who the hell do you think I am!?”

“I mean, you can’t judge, can you?”

He snaps his head to look at you, a heated glare on his face.

“The hell, of course, I can judge! These people want me to torture them, sick bastards.”

You laughed as Bakugou sucked in a sharp breath between clenched cheeks, you were thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.

“NEXT!” You shouted, crumbling the paper and tossing it at Bakugou.

“How many of these are there?” He sighed, looking in your bucket in his hands and shaking it around.

“With the way you look there are bound to be a ton.”

“What-”

“‘If I were only able to take just Ground Zero’s jaw out on a date, I’d never be happier’ Oh that one isn’t so bad-”

“My jaw? What the hell-” He looked over your shoulder, reading the tweet.

You looked up and stared at the blessed jawline.

“That’s what it says, but I gotta disagree,” You grabbed his arm and squeezed it while smirking deviously into the camera, “These arms are better, I’d take these bad boys out for coffee over his jaw any day.”

Instead of shaking you off, you swore you felt Bakugou flex slightly under your hold and couldn’t help the shit-eating grin that overtook your face as you stared up at him through your eyelashes.

“Are you flexing, Ground Zero?”

“HAH!? NO WAY, READ THE NEXT DAMN TWEET AND GET OFF OF ME ALREADY.” He snatched his arm from your hold as you waved him off, grabbing the last tweet from the container.

“Aw guess there weren’t as many as I thought, we’re already reaching the end-”

“Good because I’m tired of these wackjobs.”

You scanned over the paper, unable to contain yourself as you busted out laughing. You knew Bakugou was glaring at you, but you couldn’t help it, you almost fell off your chair, having to once again grab his arm for support.

“This, I just- Oh my God, Bakugou you’re-HA!”

“Can you knock it off and read it before I blow your ass up!” He hissed at you, and you knew you shouldn’t have made the situation any worse than it was- but sometimes you can’t help yourself.

“Damn, I mean if you really wanna tap this ass Bakugou, how can I say no~?”

He growled lowly, glaring harshly at your face as you only winked in response.

“Watch it, (l/n)-”

“‘Ive always been straight BUT i wish ground zero would rip me apart like he did to tht one moth villain, n after tht I have literally never questioned my sexuality so hard, I would let tht man bury his **** so far inside my *** tht i become the Queen of the f**king gays, all hail to me, GZ’s b**tch.Thts it. Thts the tweet.’ HAA.”

You felt Bakugou tense beside you, and when you looked over you saw him shaking in anger.

“Oh what, it’s charming!” You slowed your laughter down to measly chuckles, catching your breath as you were wiping tears from your eyes.

“How is that god damn charming!?” He seethed.

“You know, I can see it.”

“See what?”

“You being gay-”

“HA!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING.”

You look back to the camera and give an innocent shrug.

“He could've fooled me, I swear I saw him checking out Deku a few missions back-” A small explosion cut you off, and you rolled your eyes.

“So dramatic, it’s no big deal. I check out Deku all the time too.”

“You fucking what?”

“Oh yea, I mean I check out Shoto too but Deku’s got a cute ass. What can I say-”

“You’re fucking pathetic.” He huffed, snapping his gaze away from where you sat.

“Sorry, was I overstepping? I’ll leave your man alone!” You teased, poking his thigh as you did.

“Goddammit (l/n), I’m not fucking gay for Deku!” He swatted your hand away, scooting as far away as he could from you.

Which wasn’t very far, seeing as he made no effort to move the stools away from each other.

“So you’re gay for-”

“NOBODY!”

“Okay okay!! Just read my tweets already, I know they’re getting antsy watching us just talk about your closeted sexuality!”

“...tch.”

You could practically see a vein popping out of his neck, and even though you were sure he was picturing murdering you in his mind, you couldn’t help but think of how sexy it was.

You watched as he unenthusiastically pulled out a piece of paper, bored eyes scanning till they narrowed.

“You’re fucking fans are worse than mine.”

“What! Read it, I wanna hear!”

“Do I have to-”

You cut him off with a sharp look of your own, wearing him down until he sighed and did as he was supposed to.

“‘I would pay any amount of money, or literally give up any organ-appendix, spleen, gallbladder, lungs, my damn heart, just so Seize can spit on my face and call me a worthless, good-for-nothing loser, then kick my body and walk away. It would be my honor and my greatest life accomplishment.’” He threw the paper in front of him as if it were burning his skin, once again staring at the camera in disgust.

“Wow,” You giggled, “I don’t even know how to respond. I don’t really think that’s worse than yours Bakugou, but thanks I guess?”

“Thanks!? That’s all you’re going to say? How about I kick your ass and call you a worthless shithead myself, would that turn on all you perverts watching this, ha!?”

You smacked his arm playfully as you tried to get him to calm down, but his heavy breathing was an indication he wasn’t having it.

“I’m sure it would-,” His head whipped to face you and you clicked your tongue at his behavior.

“Oh, c’mon don’t be a prude, these are juicy and I for one wanna keep hearing them! So, hurry up and read another one before you blow a gasket.”

“Whatever, this is fucking stupid.”

“Alright stupid, just keep going.”

He side-eyed you, grinding his teeth together in what you assumed was to hold back even more vulgar insults.

“‘Don’t kink shame me..’” Bakugou paused, a long sigh coming from him as he reluctantly continued, “...’Don’t kink shame me but it’s my goal in life to die by @Seizes thighs. Her thighs are so strong but soft looking and I swear they can crush me in an instant-’”

“Ohh that’s true. These can crush anyone.” You slapped your thighs for emphasis, a cheeky grin playing on your lips.

“Are you seriously proud of that?” He deadpanned at your joyful expression.

“Uh, yeah? What, a woman can’t be proud of her thunder thighs of steel! You're just jealous you’re not being crushed by these babies.”

“Why the fuck would I be jealous!?”

“Cause I have amazing thighs that any man would love to be in between-”

“Next fucking tweet,” Bakugou cut you off, “‘I will eat Seize ass with a spoon, be havin’ that as breakfast, lunch, and dinner n never get tired.’ Okay but seriously what the hell is wrong with you people? With a damn spoon?”

“It’s flattering almost, don’t you think? I would be their favorite meal that they never get tired of,” You look to the camera and wiggle your eyebrows, “I mean I don’t know if I’m down for that, but if you wanna snack sometime, link up with my manager-”

“Absolutely not, don’t give these perverts any more fucking ideas.”

“Okay, dad.”

“Quit being a damn brat and just accept that these are weird and not cute, for fucks sake!”

You look to the crew behind the camera, bowing your head a bit as you spoke.

“Sorry, you’re going to have a lot of bleeps because of this big lug.”

“DON’T IGNORE ME-”

“Read the next tweet,” you extend your words in a whiny voice, “I wanna hear what else people think about me!”

You watched as Bakugou clenched his hand before relaxing, reaching inside to pull out another folded paper.

“‘@Seize is the best ever. Strong and compassionate, honestly my favorite hero by far. She’s giving the other pros a run for their money, good job and keep it up!’. Tch at least we’re done with the weird ass shit. ”

“AWHHH, you guys are so sweet! I don’t know how I match up to other heroes-”

“Tch, she matches up just fine-”

“Well, if we’re talking about boobs, especially if you compare mine to yours, I don’t stand a chance!” You reached a hand over while your body was still facing the front and squeezed one of his pectorals.

“YOU HAD TO TURN THIS INTO SOMETHING FUCKING STUPID, DIDN’T YOU!?” He jerked away from you; eye twitching as he took ragged breaths.

“What, just stating the truth. Now, c’mon if we had the same number of tweets then this should be my last, why do I have to drag these out of you?”

“Shut the hell up,” He picked out the last piece of paper as he tossed the bucket on the ground, ignoring the way you complained about it. “‘Got damn,’ Holy hell I’m going to lose brain cells, ‘Got damn, Id suck a fart’...’suck a fart out of Seize’s ass and woul beg for more as she suffocates me, no cap. Lick her from those ankles to those thighs n back, I bet she tastes like one of those sour n sweet skittles wid the way she sweaty from beating others asses but good from the way she hot, and dat shit be the best shit u can taste. wont even say sorry, jus flip her over and eat that ass’...’#NomNomNom’”

“Wow, some of you guys are pretty creative. I mean, I can’t tell you what I taste like but if you wanna try it out, lemme know.” You giggled, winking at the camera as you made the ‘call me’ sign with your hands.

You were waiting for another blow up from the angry blonde beside you but were surprised to see him silent. He was clenching his jaw harder this time around, eyes narrowed in fuming slits and he shook slightly by how hard his body tensed. You were about to ask if he was okay when you got the signal to end it, so you ignored it for the moment as you gave a bright smile to the camera.

“Well, that seems to be the end of this little segment, boo!,” You gave a pout, before smiling again, jumping back up and tossing an arm around your cast-mate, “Thanks for having us on today, and to end on a serious note make sure you’re staying safe out there. We all care about every single one of you, that’s why we do stuff like this, to stay connected! Have fun, be safe, and remember, be heroes! This has been Seize, along with,”

“Ground Zero.”

“Bye!”

“Cut!”

As soon as it was over, you were thrown off Bakugo’s shoulders as he stood up abruptly. You looked over in worry as he rigidly walked off and you wondered what had went wrong.

During most heavy-duty operations, which are the only type of operations you both worked together, Bakugou was always silent and calculating. He angered easily, and the time to fear him most is becomes quiet. Making a villain piss his pants with his yelling was a skill indeed, but when a villain saw that angered and dark gaze, that’s when they should be terrified.

You tried to follow him, but you were immediately swarmed by your manager who had apologized for arriving late.

“Yes, it is alright! I understand I was able to start perfectly fine, it’s no trouble at all.”

You didn’t listen to his answer, scanning the crowd to realize you had lost the pro.

“Dammit.”

“Ne, (l/n)-sama is there something wrong?”

“No,” You shook your head with a sigh, “Nothing at all.”

-----------------------------

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lighdramons · 3 years

Text

Hi I'm back. I promised awhile ago I’d tell the story of the fucked up digi.mon cult, so I figured that’s a great start for getting back onto this hellsite.

If the read more works, everything will be below the cut and it is a mess. Just a few things before the cut though:

General TW as I will be bringing up some of the bad experiences I had as well as talking about mental illness.

I will not be using names of sites, usernames, etc. I will not answer on specific users either. I’m sure these sites are still operating somewhere privately and back in the day, some of these people were big in the Digi.mon community outside of the sites as well.

If any of the people involved see this, no ill wishes towards you guys, just my take on things.

I quit these sites back in early 2015. I do not know what happened after I quit. I am only still in contact with a few individuals who either quit around the same time as me or long before.

As a general courtesy, some of these sites still exist. Please do not go harass them. A lot of the public sites are just teens trying to figure out themselves.

If you have questions or comments after reading this whole thing, I’m happy to answer any either publicly or privately. And yes, you can reblog this post.

We need to jump back to 2007 to begin with. I was a middle schooler getting back into Digi.mon because I walked into Gamestop and Digi.mon was sitting in the new releases. And I had access to the internet. I did binge S1-5 with subs and watching reruns of the dub on Toon Disney. I spent some time on the big fansite. Great site, just bad experience at the time because I was a teen and probably lied about my age. I didn’t feel like that was the community for me. I do check it every day now for news, just never made a new account cause I don’t even remember what I used back in the day.

By end of 2008/beginning of 2009 I began looking for other sites, stumbled across the digiclipse stuff on the bad encyclopedia site, looked into it, thought it was neat, moved on. Stuck with the big site for now because the only other sites I found were RP sites and not my thing at the time. Got hit hard with depression at the start of 10th grade (late 2010) and found my way back onto the digiclipse stuff. Didn’t really believe most of it, but thought the idea of creating AI Digi.mon was neat. Joined the smaller of the two sites because it felt friendlier and most users seemed my age.

For people who do not know, digiclipse is the act of going outside and holding the toys up hoping to get teleported. Most people by the time I joined thought the people who did this were crazy. Some people liked to do it for the lolz though.

Anyways, most of what happened on the sites was just talking and hanging out in chat rooms about life and other things. It was pretty chill. I can’t speak for everyone on the sites, but for me it was an escapism kind of thing. I was depressed and hated life so pretending that a magical adventure was a possibility gave me some hope. But honestly, got a group of people who were cool to talk with for the most part. There was one older female in her mid 20s that would come in the chat drunk and sexually harass the other female users and tell all the male they should die and are worthless. Nothing was ever done about her. And honestly it was weird having her there when most of the other people on the site were under 18. That was initially my only bad experience on the sites.

At some point during 2011, there were three individuals who claimed to see and speak with their digi.mon partners. And that they could read your aura and tell you exactly your digi.mon partner. And everyone believed this shit, mostly because two of them were prominent members and how could they lie. The process was simple, you would DM them either a creative piece you’ve done (art, writing, etc) or send a photo of yourself and they’d come back in a few days and tell you who your partner was. There was only ever one individual this method of tracking did not work on and that is yours truly. Oh and at the time it hit hard because I had started falling down the rabbit hole. This is the beginning of the cult-ish stuff.

Then the Ouija board happened. I have no issues with what happened during the fucking around with said Ouija board, I have issues with everything that spiraled out of control after. They fucked around with it confirming people’s partners that the others had “found”. And eventually they asked about mine. And then it was basically said, “oh we can’t tell you the results”. I was eventually added to this secret site of “The Chosen”. And basically told, “oh your partner is the offspring/creation of THE BIG BAD” and there were all sorts of debates on what to do about it. I literally thought I was getting punked at first and these people are clearly taking this whole thing too far. No, these people all believed this. Oh and the best part, most of the people involved in this “chosen” group were in their mid 20s. Me being a depressed as fuck 16yo that just wanted something exciting in life ended up eating all this up. I felt special and chosen. I look back on it now and I’m like what a fucking idiot.

We were all taught from the three who could do the stuff I explained earlier how we can also learn to bond and communicate and see our partner. I had absolutely no progress. Eventually this stuff led to everyone in this “chosen” group getting a “special guardian spirit”. Again, I made no progress on this. And to the point where they made me feel special again, I was the only person who had the wrong “guardian spirit” and they eventually found my “real one”, more on this later.

These discussions moved from a forum site to a private skype chat room, and then further smaller private chat rooms. The movement to skype is where I started having some bad experiences. I gave a few of my “close” friends on the site my phone number, soon everyone had my number. And this happened to multiple people over the years. My own stupidity at the time.

This stuff continued as I finished high school. At the time, I still managed to maintain my social life with school friends, keep up my grades, etc. Got into college with a good scholarship in my dream field. And then I started to go downhill once I got to school. The longer this stuff went on, the more you were expected to be involved. Including being on skype calls all night. It slowly began consuming my life. I ended up not only with depression, but ending up with an ED that was tied to anxiety so I’d go days without eating. I was seeing things and hearing voices, which was highly encouraged because it meant things were working. I literally could not tell the difference of when I was asleep or awake. I honestly do not remember the majority of my freshman year of college. I had no real friends and was just barely scraping by grade-wise. And well, the academic year almost ended with me hanging from a pipe in my dorm.

I ended up running the site I started on as an admin after the original admin team left. And it was expected you do not mention any of the “secret” stuff on the main site. Over the years I know it became clear to the users not included that there were secrets in the background. And those who knew stuff would actively fuck with these users. And if I haven’t made it clear yet, there was a hierarchy to this whole secret group. And it was the original three who were mentioned at the beginning that were on top. And what they said was gospel. Whatever they claimed is what happened and whatever rules they had were the rules. But of course certain people could break the rules and get away with it.

This next part happened at some point during my freshman year and will be relevant again later on. This is the biggest TW section so skip if you have to. I had a user dox me. He had my home address and threatened to post it. He had sent it privately to a few other users as well that alerted me of this. His reasoning? I would not date him or say I loved him. He told me that he would come to my house, murder me, r*pe my dead body, because he is the only one who gets to have me. Another user got involved and called the cops. I do not know if anything ever came of this because I never spoke to anyone about it. I at the time had admin privileges on one of the sites so I banned him and blocked his IP and I blocked him on anything I could. And I continued doing this over the years. I was told I was a bad person for doing this because I did not understand him. This lead to a lot of the things in the above paragraph getting worse.

As this all continued, there were battles and casualties and everyone ended up with like 20 partners. And if you haven’t noticed I’ve stopped using the term digi.mon entirely in the past few paragraphs. That’s because oh they weren’t digi.mon. They were spirits/dimensional beings that took on a form we were comfortable with and we formed a bond with. And I kept going along with all of this because I was in too deep at this point. And obviously yes, this all made sense. So at some point during this time, my “spirit” went to sleep and a new one “awakened”. And I of course still went along with all this. The BIG BAD kept mutating into stronger forms and blah blah blah.

During my fall semester sophomore year, I joined theatre at my college and did tech. Honestly, one of the reasons I was able to begin breaking away from this. I started to get an actual friend group and have less time for these sites. But there was always a pull of “you have to be here”. You were expected to be on skype calls and/or active in chat.

Well, that all changed at the start of 2015. They wanted a deletion of all the other sites and they would have one site united under one belief system. I was not a huge fan of this and made this known, but also offered to help in the coding as that was a skill I had that no one else really had. It got out around that I was a cunt and a power hungry bitch and blah blah blah. If it was just that, I would probably not have left. No no no, I was accused of lying about the shit that that user said and did to me. Because he is such a nice guy that could never do that type of stuff. And unless I provided the receipts I was clearly an attention seeking liar that wanted to ruin his life. That was the straw. I fucking blacked out in a rage and attempted to delete some of the different websites, I blasted some of these people on their real facebooks, and then I deleted all of my accounts and blocked everyone and blocked their numbers.

After that, I started talking with other people that quit. I started enjoying my college life. And I tried to act like none of that stuff had happened. I distanced myself from those individuals that were active in the Digi.mon community. I stopped hearing the voices and seeing things. I started going to therapy. My road hasn’t been perfect, but I’ve come a long way since I got out of this stuff. Honestly going to meet up with one old member after covid is all clear cause we’ve known each other for over a decade now and its about time we finally meet in person.

So yeah, that’s my story. I know I jumped around a bit and thoughts might not be too clear, but I wanted to share the fucked up things that happen in the background of the digi.mon community. Did I have good times? Hell yeah. The Olive Garden incident still to this day is iconic. We played d&d oneshots sometimes. We had memes. We all watched xros and hunters together live. And I still have some good friends out of this. The most fascinating thing out of all of this is everyone from the community that I still am either in contact with or see them via social media had admitted over the years to suffer from some kind of mental illness and has come out as part of the LGBTQA+ community. My own conclusion is a lot of us got sucked in due to depression/escapism and just a feeling of not belonging. And being around people of similar age with similar interests just made things more bearable at times. It also made a lot of us very vulnerable to the manipulation that took place, whether it was intentional or just one big group delusion created by multiple mentally ill people. I call it a cult, but I'm sure people will disagree with me. Whatever you want to call it, it wasn't good for my mental health in the long run.

If this shit is still going on, I hope people aren’t letting it consume their lives. And I just wish the best for everyone even if some of the shit hurt me.

As I said up top, if you want me to elaborate on anything or have questions, I’m good with talking about stuff. If you know me IRL and are reading this and are like "RACHEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK" I owe you a drink and explanation. And of course it Is okay to reblog. This is one hell of a comeback post on this site, am I right?

#ray's rants #im back on this hellsite and im here to share bullshit

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xhanisai · 4 years

Text

Blanc Noise - Chapter Two

CH1 / AO3 / FFN

Summary:

"Why...why do you always do this? Why do you always keep stopping anyone from helping you? You're literally falling apart!" He shook her shoulders, eyes furious but intent in wanting to help the girl he loves, if only she'd let him. "You barely smile, you barely laugh, hell, you don't even act our age these days! Everyone says you've matured...everyone says you've grown up...but all I see is the person that I care so much for...a person I treasure so much...no longer happy!"

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful feedback on the first chapter~! I just couldn't wait to write the next and kept on building up scenarios in my head. So many ideas, so little time and almost zero motivation these days lol. Why can't stories just write itself on its own? U_U Enjoy~

Song listened to whilst writing - 心做し - Chouchou-P (蝶々P, papiyon) - cover by Luz

~(x)~

Drip. Drip. Drip.

'This feeling...it's familiar...' When her thoughts were finally registered in her hazy mind, Marinette's eyes flickered open, revealing empty, sky blues. At first, all she could see was the shade of melancholy, a deep, harsh blue that only caused her to sink lower and lower. The girl then realised that she was yet to take a breath, her heart aching like it was made of lead and her lungs clawing beneath her rib cage for at least a second of precious oxygen.

Yet, she didn't even flinch. Didn't even twitch an eye.

Didn't even bother in parting her lips.

A sense of finality and doom was all that she could feel and she didn't even fight against it. Not a single bone of retaliation. Her body kept on sinking and her darker than black tendrils were fanned and floating around her in the same manner of her motionless limbs. As if all the time in the world has stopped.

'Ah. I must be dead.' She mused nonchalantly. She didn't even care.

She sank lower.

And lower.

And. Lower.

Soon, the shadowy, sombre darkness below consumed her body and her entire being churned with excruciating pain as sharp knives of blistering cold pierced her from head to toe. Her mouth parted as a gasp escaped her, only forcing the sickly salty water to force entry and light fire down her throat and nose, choking her.

'It burns...' She whimpered in her mind. 'IT BURNS!!!' Tears pooled out of her eyes, intermingling with the deadly monster of water, tasting just as brutally cold as the ice that tore her entire body to shreds and rippled agony through her dying bloodstream. 'I'M BURNING!!!' Her chest was clogged with emotion heavier than the water that infiltrated her system, squeezing the ever loving god out of her lungs and heart and she couldn't help but wheeze.

However, she merely submerged even further, her body like a marionette's with the strings cut. Burdensome, useless and never to be needed or wanted again...

Suddenly, just as the blue above faded into black, her peripheral vision caught twin movements of crimson red, shooting away from her side and towards the sky. Marinette's eyes widened just as her vision deteriorated.

'Those are my ribbons...' The smooth, silky material resembled streaks of blood as they became absorbed in the darkness. Exhaustion consumed her core and as her eyes fluttered closed, she glimpsed a figure in the remaining blues above.

A boy decked in white with eyes as azure as misery...

'You...you're...YOU'RE-'

~(x)~

With a quiet but sharp inhale, Marinette's body shook awake, eyes quick to open immediately and scan her surroundings as the remnants of the dream dissipated into nothing but emptiness, the tired girl mentally cursing as her mind tried to claw it back to her. Alas, luck wasn't on her side for the millionth time and all that she could recall was absolutely

nothing

Zero. Nada.

Rien

The umpteenth dream to escape without a trace and leave her groaning in frustration, wondering why they bothered her so much. She felt cold sweat dribble down her forehead and skin beneath her clothes, making her sniff uncomfortably. Finally, she decided to leave her thoughts behind and gazed at her surroundings.

So far, she was in the local park, leaning against her favourite tree as the soft, lush grass tickled her legs below with their mildew. As she racked her mind further, she remembered that she joined Alya, Nino and Adrien to the park to eat their food during lunch break. The bespectacled duo must of noticed the tension between her and Adrien so that must be why they opted to go to their one of their favourite places to ease it up despite the snippy weather.

"Ah. I must have fallen asleep..." Marinette mumbled to herself, looking for her best friend and Nino. She paused as she spotted them chatting with André the notorious ice cream man. Probably wanted some desserts and found him nearby. However, her eyes narrowed as she looked around again, this time with more rigour and desperation.

Where's Adrien?

Where's that ridiculously good looking little devil-

Abruptly, a low groan was heard from

beneath

her nose.

Familiar, gentle arms that were wrapped around her waist tightened its hold as the heat on her lap shifted. Marinette felt her heart stutter and freeze, her infamous blush taking over her cheeks as she peered below, finally registering the blonde that was fast asleep on her lap. This time, her heart leapt to her throat and a soft whine left her lips only for her to swiftly muffle her mouth with her hands, pretty much stopping her from breathing in general.

Adrien Agreste was sleeping on her lap.

Adrien

fucking

Agreste was sleeping on her

fucking

lap.

'Holyshitholyshit- What do I do!? If I move or make a noise, he'll wake up and he's already kinda mad at me and if he sees that he's been sleeping on me, he'd be even more mad! Mon dieu! Aidez-moi!!!'

The French-Chinese spiralled, shaking her head like an idiot and tugged on the scarf that was wrapped around her neck by reflex. The heat that the boy emitted was like a pleasant, burning, addicting sensation and it did nothing to alleviate her hummingbird heart and bewildered mind.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, the crisp autumn air cleared her thoughts and chest, soothing Marinette. She repeated the action a few more times, sakura still highlighting the apple of her cheeks and soft lips, gracious sapphires now gazing at the dozing teen lovingly. Mari used the little free time she had to properly observe Adrien, fingers delicately brushing through his golden locks gently.

She couldn't help but smile.

He looked quite peaceful for once.

His usually strong shielded guard was taken down, making him seem much more vulnerable and raw compared to when he was awake. Even compared to when he's by Nino's side despite being best friends. Marinette couldn't help but question: did he trust her enough to keep himself open in her presence, allowing himself to

relax

and sleep by her

touch

? Or, was this one of

Alya's

silly schemes in trying to push them both

together?

Adrien's arms simply tightened around her coat, fingers clutching the soft fabric and face nuzzling into her stomach till all she could see was his hair. His coat which was used as a makeshift blanket, shifted, exposing the cool air to the back of his neck. Marinette was quick to pull the coat back over him, shushing quietly when he began to stir.

She really

hoped

it was the former. That

decided to come to

her

for comfort.

If so, her heart could be warmed and the butterflies in her stomach could flutter as wildly as they

desired

'Don't get ahead of yourself. After you caused him to be moody all morning because of your inability to hide your weak state, you think he would even want to touch you? Let alone sleep on you? Stupid girl.'

The ugly, horrid voice reared its nasty head again, darkening Marinette's spirits, giving her no choice but to helplessly agree.

'That's right. Know your place you worthless bitch. Especially since you know for definite that pursuing him will ultimately cause the akumatisation of your partner in the future.'

Her heart turned to lead again.

Her face devoid of any emotions, exhaling softly. Who was she trying to fool? Her first and foremost priority should be looking after her Chat Noir and her family and friends without a beat. Not entertain girlish fantasies selfishly as if she was simply an ordinary teen with the luxury of an ordinary life.

Not after all the pain

she

caused...

And certainly not after what she saw this morning.

Her eyes turned into an icy glare as she watched the murky sky, recalling when she saw her torn up ribbon at the school's entrance and two glowing orbs of what looked like blue eyes at the time. She wasn't a hundred percent sure of whether or not she really saw the latter but a hushed warning from Tikki to keep her guard up kept her from brushing anything away as nothing.

So far, she didn't feel like she was being watched but her body refused to relax.

She could not afford to fail the people she loves once more-

"Mmm...Ma...

Marinette?

The air was knocked out of her lungs and her blood froze colder than the coldest of days in the Himalayas. Marinette tensed, taking a moment to compose herself and reluctantly made eye contact with her beau.

'Don't do or say anything stupid, Cheng!'

Meanwhile, Adrien couldn't help but

feel

like he was

still

dreaming. The dreary clouds in the sky parted, allowing the sun to shine through and bask its beams behind Marinette's head, making her seem ethereal and almost

Goddess like

. The stray strands of hair from her bun and fringe dangled smoothly as her head was bent down to meet his gaze. Her plump, rose tinted, kissable lips were parted in a sweet

'o'

and her heavenly blues were like priceless gems.

He couldn't stop himself from reaching out towards her face with one hand, still weighted with sleep, skimming his fingertips against her fringe. Like it had a mind of its own, his hand gingerly cupped her cheek, thumb shyly brushing the tip of her cold nose and then rested on her warm, soft lips.

'Un ange...mon ange...'

He purred to himself, still delirious with sleep and not fully aware of the situation yet. The girl remained frozen, his thumb dragging her bottom lip down as he unconsciously lifted himself up by his elbow, bringing his face towards hers closer and

closer

He could feel her warm breath hitting his cool lips, making them ache for her touch-

"Adrien???"

All of a sudden, his haze disappeared, a biting breeze ripped through their hair, causing the boy to instinctively cover the girl's body with his own as the unpleasant cold seeped into his skin. It was like the equivalent of someone dumping a bucket of iced water over his head and the cat inside him hissed at the vile sensation.

Finally, when the breeze died down, Adrien loosened his hold on Marinette, allowing her to reach for his coat and wrap it around his body like a cloak.

What a

wonderful

wake up call.

"So this isn't a dream, huh?" The now pouting teen muttered out loud, his blonde hair a fluffy mess and he used a spare hand to try and pat it down, grimacing at the knots within his tresses. An onlooker would have pointed out that he resembled a silly kitten who got its claws stuck and tangled up by a yarn of wool.

His companion

certainly

thought so at the very least.

"No, it isn't a dream," Adrien stiffened at Marinette's answer, his cheeks now matching her flushed pair. He inaudibly watched as she averted eye contact, brushing her fingers through her silky fringe to untangle them. His own hands twitched, longing to trap and interweave them within her raven locks.

Maybe tug them towards him...

Though, embarrassment settled in to the pits of his stomach as he

realised

what exactly he

attempted

to do as soon as he woke, the ghost of her breath against his lips still a vivid memory. Judging by her more than usual shy nature, she wasn't oblivious to it. Adrien bit his lip, praying that she wouldn't carry on being aloof with him. It stung after their little disagreement in the morning, it would

destroy

him after his sleepy attempt in making a move.

Especially since he's yet to confess his feelings.

"But anyways, glad to see you awake, Sleeping Beauty," She poked his chest playfully, her smile still timid but

real

. She wasn't mad at him all! His heart skipped a beat and the weight on his shoulders faded away like magic.

'Thank the Gods more dependant than Plagg!'

He sighed in relief, responding back with a crooked grin. He poked back on her shoulder, smile simply widening as the tension dissolved.

"Sorry for sleeping on you. One second I saw you doze off and the next, I probably conked out by your side. I move a lot in my sleep so that's why..." He sheepishly trailed off, scratching the back of his head apprehensively. His blush only brightened at the sound of her quiet giggles. Quiet but

pretty

"Don't be. I'm used to it whenever Alya comes over for a sleepover. She'd either kick me off the bed in her sleep or use me as a body pillow. Sometimes both." She leaned back against the bark, Adrien following her and taking a spot by her side. "I don't mind being used as a pillow if you ever need to get some rest," Marinette offered with a wink, butterflies tickling her abdomen as the boy hummed with appreciation.

Their shoulders brushed, sending intimate heat through both of their bodies, creating a tension that was so much more different but also so much more

familiar

. For a split second, the duo's thoughts reached out to their partner in crime. The taller of the teen thinking about his

Lady

whilst the shorter thinking about her

Minou

. The blonde shook his head, pushing those thoughts back as he focused back on

Marinette

, presenting a softer smile this time.

"Is that so? You better not regret it~" He playfully slumped against her, cheeky smiles and glittering eyes as her giggles grew louder, her slender fingers gripping her scarf. Adrien regarded her with much love, melting at the sight of her rosy cheeks and goofy smile.

It's been a while since he's last heard her

laugh

like that...

'I really did miss her laugh...'

Just as he was about to make another joke or utter a pun that would definitely have her seething with that adorable annoyance, he spotted something

odd

in her hair. His pupils constricted and suddenly his eyes darkened, deviating the jolly mood with a sharpness that had even snapped Marinette out of her temporary bubble of joy. It was like a consciousness of needles skimming down their skins, the boy feeling threatened by it more than the girl.

"Adrien? What's wrong? Is there something in my hair?" Just as Marinette naturally reached up to her head with one hand, Adrien was hasty in catching her wrist with one of his, the other reaching for the object of his

hostility

. "...Adrien?"

Agreste didn't answer her, lips tightening as he finally grasped the object, tenderly weaving it out of Marinette's hair, quick to apologise a few times when she winced until finally, he pulled it out.

His eyes

burned

at the

thing

Her eyes

swelled

at the

article

The luscious, pure, white rose remained still in the blonde's grasps, its appearance as innocent as any other ordinary flower but its origins as mysterious as danger, causing alarms to ring for both of the teens and red flags to wave frantically.

"H-How...when? I-I don't understand-" Marinette clutched the area on her head where the rose was tugged out, head spinning to multiple directions, wondering who on earth put the flower in her hair. She didn't sense a presence, let alone feel a thing! Her heart began to ricochet in her chest, her eyes wild from her desperation in finding anyone suspicious. She couldn't even feel Tikki's attempt in trying to soothe her, the little kwami hidden in the inside of her coat pocket for warmth.

That slithering, horrid feeling of being

stalked

flared up her sixth sense, panic overtaking her body as one thing in particular became clear in her mind.

'Protect him! Protect Adrien! Get out of here! GET OUT AND PROTECT HIM!'

"Shit!" His hiss of pain brought her back to reality only for her mouth to run dry in horror and her blood to scream in her veins. Adrien dropped the rose, cradling his finger as blood oozed out of the injury.

A prick from the rose's thorns...?

'I didn't see any thorns when he pulled it out of my hair...no...there were definitely no thorns when he pulled it out.'

Alarmed, Marinette kicked the rose away and brought his finger towards her, eyeing it in horror much to Adrien's confusion, her body shaking and begging to run away and hide.

"Hey, hey. Marinette, I'm okay. It's just a prick." He tried to calm her down, noting her deer in the headlights expression, resting his hand on her waist as if to keep her steady. However, she fiercely shook her head, her grip on his hand like iron, her surroundings nothing but a blur to her.

"No! It's not okay! What if that rose was poisoned!? What if it's some bizarre akuma trying to kill you!? We need to get it cleaned up immediately! Come!" She didn't give him a chance to protest, lifting him to his feet as if he was made of paper and darting towards her home with him at tow, her hand never leaving his. She was blind to the passer-buyers and the dog-walkers. She was blind to Alya and Nino as they called for them, wondering what caused the spontaneous sprint.

She was blind to the white rose crumbling into ashes in the place where she kicked it, the acute, frosty breeze blowing it away until nothing remained...

~(x)~

"I'm fine, Marinette. Please,

calm down.

" Finally, after letting the girl disinfect his small cut and apply many Asian herbal ointments before bandaging the finger up in a headstrong manner, Adrien's pleas eventually got to her. Dupain-Cheng's head snapped up to meet his gaze after tightening the bandage, comprehending her surroundings as the last fifteen minutes or so was just a blur in her head.

Her rapid heartbeat began to slow down as she recognised that they were currently in the family bathroom of her humble abode. The tasteful rose and off white walls gave her comfort and the soft gold light from the bulb above melted away the ice in her blood. The sight of Adrien sitting on the edge of the bathtub, smiling his trademark syrupy smile and eyes as radiant as emeralds, induced Marinette's heart to skip a few beats, the traitorous organ cooing at how domestic the moment was.

'How...how do you keep making me fall in love with you over and over again?'

She furrowed her brows, fingers still lingering on his hand, savouring the feel of his skin and touch before letting go. The light strawberry complexion never leaving her cheeks and the tips of her ear.

She wished that Tikki was by her side, feeling naked in her simple but stylish cerise blouse and high-waisted black pleated skirt. The cool draft from the open window behind her raised goosebumps on her skin despite the black tights yet the beaming gaze from Adrien made her feel like a soaring flame.

'I don't deserve you...'

Marinette didn't get a chance to take a step back, her hands captured by his in a bat of an eye. She pursed her lips questionably, cocking her head as Adrien stumbled over his words much to her

amazement

He never ceased to surprise Marinette, introducing more sides and pieces of himself to her without a beat. His currently timid demeanour reminded her of her Chat Noir, during a time when she launched a surprise hug at him and rendered him

speechless

for almost an hour during patrol. However, the treasured memory was mercilessly slashed by the ghost of

Chat Blanc's

heartbroken face, stilling her heart anew.

'Right now it's Adrien in front of me. ADRIEN. I have to look after him and make sure he's happy and okay first then I'll wallow about...that...later.'

"Marinette," The model cleared his throat, squeezing her hand for good measures. His tanned skin resonating beautifully with the raspberry tinge on his high cheekbones, awing the girl in how beautiful he looked right now under the glow of the rich light. "I...

thank you

, really. You didn't have to do this," He rubbed his thumb on her fingers, beckoning her to sit next to him.

With how cute and nervous he looked,

how could she possibly refuse?

"Of course I had to. You got hurt in front of me and I couldn't just sit around and do nothing about it." She sat by him, ignoring the warmth of his thighs touching hers in the cramped but cosy space. She eyed his bandaged finger forlornly, blind to Adrien's heated scrutiny. He has more than picked up that there was more to her words than she let out but after prodding her in the morning and getting her upset, he didn't want to risk doing so again.

"But still, being by my side would have been enough and letting the school nurse treat my injury. Yet, you took the time and effort to do it yourself. You made sure to make it as painless as possible.

No one

has ever done this for me,

ever

." This time, the admiration laced in his voice enticed Marinette to face him, her cheeks reddening whilst he smiled at her with a tenderness that would

rival

her own

partner's

She never thought that

that

would

ever

be a possibility.

"B-But..." She wet her lips restlessly, sky blues glancing away for a split second and then bore into him again. "What about when you were younger? Surely someone must have..." She faltered, not too sure whether to breach the unspoken territory regarding his distant, robot like

Père

and tragically absent

Maman

"From as long as I can remember,

Père and

Maman

would always try and keep me contained in one place or another so that I didn't hurt myself. And the rare times I did get hurt, they would get the maids to patch me up. The maids were never too interested in making conversation with me, trying to get the job done as soon as possible...heh," Adrien was the one looking away now, smile empty and eyes losing their shine at the memories of his lacklustre childhood.

Despite Adrien's huge love and yearning for his mother, the more Marinette heard about the stories of his past, the more apprehensive she was about Emelie. The woman may have been doting on Adrien and showered him with love but at the same time, she was responsible for his quiet, lonely childhood and perhaps neglect when she handed him over to the maids or assistants regularly when she went to work.

'He deserves so much better, he deserves so much more love...why is fate always so cruel to the kindest people I know?'

Marinette kept her worried, sympathetic eyes on him, giving his fingers a comforting press this time round with her own. The touch snapped Adrien out of his thoughts, the boy immediately quirking his lips up to ensure that she didn't worry about him further. He opened his mouth, attempting to show that he was fine but Marinette beat him to it.

"I'll always be here," She nodded. "Whether it's to treat your injuries, to cheer you on for your extra-curricular matches or even to lend you an ear when you need someone to listen to you.

Always

." She brought their entwined hands to her chest, determination to keep the boy she loves happy evident in her eyes.

An unspoken promise binding them both together.

Adrien found himself gaping with astonishment, his heart literally melting from the indescribable euphoria and exhilaration that flooded his entire being, leading unshed tears to glisten in his eyes. He wanted to grab her face right there right now, pull her into a breathtaking kiss and finally,

finally

know what it's like to feel and taste Marinette Dupain-Cheng's lips against his.

Finally have a kiss he'll remember.

Instead, common sense and reality stopped him from doing so, allowing him to envelope Marinette into his arms with a strong, heartfelt embrace. The feel of her throat moving as she gasped against his shoulder had Adrien hold on tighter, burying his face into the crook of her neck, the tightness of the bandage around his finger keeping him rooted.

"...Adrien?" Marinette tentatively returned the hug, trying her best to keep her hands steady as she rested them around his torso, one hand slipping through his blonde strands and grazing her nails against his scalp as a means to comfort him.

"You're always looking after everyone...looking after

..." His voice was nothing but a husky whisper, a warm breeze in her ear. He slowly pulled his head away from her shoulder yet his arms remained circled around her, his grip strong but comforting. Then, tenderly, with eyes glinting with bitter-sweetness and compassion, Adrien settled his forehead on Marinette's, lips twisted in a pained grimace. The ebony haired teen could barely keep her eyes on his, the tensity from the park hurtling back like a meteor and all she could do was pray that her heart wouldn't smash through her chest.

"Yet, you don't let us look after you...not even me."

Agonising pain from the fear of losing her partner to the corrupted darkness of the butterfly and the fear of the potential dangers that could befall on Adrien evoked her skin to blanch on the spot, eyes to constrict wildly whilst his emerald crescents never left its prey. She instinctively bit her bottom lip, plastering her gaze to the side only to pale further when she noticed her reflection staring back in the mirror.

Marinette couldn't bear to see her sleep deprived, ghostly looking self engulfed in the arms of the love of her life, especially with the unearned fondness and affection on his expression that she wasn't deserving of. She instantly closed her eyes, cheeks red with not only embarrassment but also fury towards herself.

'That's right- how fucking dare you try to enjoy this? You're an unworthy glutton. An undeserving snake. A selfish, cruel wench!'

The angry voice in her head blared, mauling her heart apart without an ounce of sympathy. It took everything in her body to not break down and cry, to not spill everything to him.

However, her fate was abominable and cruel, the knowledge of identities and the miraculouses and the future slamming into her at full force caused her to just stay deathly still and quiet.

Oh so still and quiet.

"Marinette...look at me, please." Adrien pleaded, nudging his nose with hers, his desperate breath like a forbidden fruit countering her lips. His voice cracked with emotion as he held onto her tighter, fringes intermingling with one another and chests pressed against the other. Their hearts pounded in sync, the boy using his free hand to graze his thumb against Marinette's brow, grief evident in his aura and actions. "You're hurting, you've been hurting for a long time and I just can't stand there watching you

burn

." The way he threw her words back at her from earlier on caused her eyes to snap open, teeth clenched in a bitter grimace.

"I'm okay Adrien, I'm fine. This isn't about me...it shouldn't be about me. You're the one who's hurt, not me! We should be focused on keeping an eye on the cut just in case that dodgy rose really is poisonous!" She rasped but couldn't stop the stutter her heart let out at the sight of his incredulous glare.

if only she'd let him

. "You barely smile, you barely laugh, hell, you don't even act our age these days! Everyone says you've matured...everyone says you've grown up...but all I see is the person that I care so much for...a person I treasure so much...no longer happy!"

It was mere willpower that prevented the dams to explode for Adrien, his vision blurry with tears but he kept them in, brows crinkled with anguish and his thumb stroking the apple of her cheeks. Her eyes shone with tears too, a brewing dilemma evident in the blue orbs he's grown to cherish and love.

But was also scarily, strikingly similar to his partner in red...

"I'm...I..." Marinette started, her weighted emotions suffocating her, rendering her speechless and she internally prayed that Adrien would drop the subject and move on, even if it's by some sort of miracle-

SLAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The sounds of the bathroom door and window clobbered shut sent a whiplash towards the teens, the duo switching to a seriousness and alertness that mirrored their magical counterparts, gripping each other with herculean strength.

Neither of them

dared

to take a breath.

Adrien kept his eyes glued to the window whilst Marinette kept hers to the door, the trepidation and unease skimming through their bones as the gut reactions from the incident at the park ploughed back at full force. The way they held onto each other so tightly was guaranteed to leave marks on their skins.

Bright, predator like greens

glowered

Wild, stormy blues

pierced

This time, the sound of the school bell ringing in the distance was heard, breaking Adrien and Marinette out of their fight or flight mode, still eyeing the objects warily.

The model was the first to break the silence.

"Do you...do you think that was the wind?" He licked his lips nervously, his injured, left hand trembling and quick to latch onto Marinette's right hand, his eyes never leaving the window. His heart roared in his ears, blood loudly rushing through his veins as the urge to flee was high.

But, he wouldn't dare to leave without

her

"Adrien, in order to open the door, you have to push it from the outside and pull from inside. Same with the window. There's no draft on this floor and the breeze was only coming from the window. I can understand the door being slammed shut by a sudden gust of wind...

but not the window

..." Her answer only went quieter and quieter, until her last few words were barely whispers. The boy squeezed her hand, able to feel her rapid pulse which only heightened his. "

...and there was sudden wind either...

"S-Such phenomena can be explained with science..."

"Then how does science explain how a rose

magically

appeared on my head, me not feeling a single thing?"

"It could probably be a distasteful prank by Alya and Nino when we weren't paying attention-"

"The rose didn't have thorns in it when you took it out but suddenly appeared a few seconds later, hurting you!"

"...are...are you sure? Marinette, I don't like this-"

And neither did she.

Wordlessly, she kept a tight clutch on his hand, minding his injured finger and practically ripped the door open, speed-walking out of the apartment with the model gleefully following, slamming the entrance door shut as they left.

The silence in the apartment grew loud and looming.

Slowly but steadily, the window in the bathroom opened, revealing absolutely...

...Nothing.

~(x)~

Rain poured down Paris like a waterfall, as if to make up for the lack of showers during the intense, global-warming induced heatwaves during summer. Students from

le collège

tiredly trickled out of the building, groaning about the amount of homework that were assigned to them or mocking the teachers they absolutely despised or even the current weather which the forecast has failed to mention today.

Lila Rossi bellowed a haughty goodbye to Alya, attempting to gather the girl up in her arms for a hug only for the bespectacled teen to step away stiffly, lips strained tight. Of course, the Italian made a mopey scene over it, her

'friends'

from the other classes directing a nasty glare at the reporter who didn't even flinch at the stares.

"I...I thought you were busy over the holidays and that's why you didn't try to text me...but you just don't want to be my friend anymore, do you Alya?" Lila sniffed, clutching her designer umbrella closer as if to look like a wounded lamb. Yet, Alya didn't even twitch a muscle.

"Need I remind you that you got my best friend

expelled

"But that's not my fault! I have this disorder that-"

"Yes! A disorder that you never told

anyone

about and almost ruined my best friend's life! I don't know how schools work in Italy, but over here? In France? If you have even one

tiny blight

on your records, thousands of universities won't even look at your CV and portfolios! You know how important fashion and designing is to Marinette. You know it's her dream to keep learning and experience the world! But you almost ruined it all in one day! And you, you ALL, yes, you people!" She pointed to the growing crowd. "Marinette has helped so many of you, never asking for anything in return! She's always been kind, quirky and lovable! Yet I see some of you give her the most disgusting looks when you think she's not looking."

She slammed her umbrella on the floor, not caring that it was trampled over students who were hurrying home and avoiding the commotion, her curls instantly soaked by the rain. The crowd she pointed to held shameful expressions, some looking away from Alya whilst Lila kept up her kicked puppy act, dry and regal under her umbrella.

"She deserves so much better than this..." Her teeth were gritted and her hazel eyes was like a forest fire. Just as she was about to give hell to the crowd, a familiar hand rested on her shoulder, calming her down immediately. Alya whipped her head to the side, watching as Marinette stepped in, slipping her hand away from the shoulder and guarding her arm in front of her best friend.

As if to protect her.

"Careful there, akumas, remember?" Cheng hissed quietly, putting out the fire and pacifying Césaire. Her icy blues sent shivers down everyone's spine, even Lila found herself feeling a cold sweat-drop trickle down her forehead from the mere intensity of her eyes, knuckles whitening on the handle of her umbrella.

It was as if Marinette was the strict teacher and they were the misbehaving students.

"Go home. There's nothing to see here. There are more important things out there than petty school drama," She commanded, eyes never leaving the olive eyed peer who would have snarled back had Alya not been watching her with a triumphant but menacing scowl.

"I literally just found out that someone I cherished and trusted,

hates

me. How is that petty school drama?" Rossi enforced the crowd to pity her, her acting skills so good that one would think that she was about to burst into tears on the spot. However, Marinette wasn't having any of it, especially with how preoccupied she was with the bizarre incidents that have been piling up lately, mentally drained by everything.

"You broke the trust of that someone." She retorted coldly, the rain only got heavier and more of the crowd started to disappear, not finding the argument worth a cold. "Of course she won't want anything to do with you afterwards. I don't care if you don't see or understand my viewpoints on what's petty and what's not.

I really don't give a damn

. Just get lost and leave Alya alone."

The Italian opened her mouth, enraged, ready to yell but was pulled back by her possies, guiding the seething teen away from Mari and Alya. The duo kept their eyes peeled on the brunette's back until she was no more than a tiny figure in the distance. The remaining members of the crowd, unnamed faces from various years, hurried off, far too intimidated by the French-Chinese's ambience and the wrath of her fiery best friend.

"Alya, you didn't have to do this you know," Exhaustion and tiredness was laced in Marinette's voice but the subtle smile that rested on her lips was real, earning a broader smile from her companion. "I don't want any trouble or problems arising for you because of the bad blood between me and Lila."

"No amount of troubles and problems will stop me from standing by your side, girl," The ombre-haired teen gave the petite girl's forearms a reassuring squeeze. "I know you told me that the best way to handle Lila was to avoid her and mind my own business, but dammit, it just pisses me off how she can happily trot around the school like she owns the place as if she's some innocent fairy. As if she hasn't caused so much shit for you and our class! Fucking hell!"

"Mmhm, I understand that Als. But, I'd rather not see you get akumatised again. Or get into some serious trouble that can affect your future." Marinette tapped one of Alya's hands disapprovingly, her knowing raised brow gaining a sheepish smile from the latter.

"Oh come on...I really wasn't gonna punch her,"

"Alya, I had to step in because I saw the way your fist was itching to strike."

"...I wasn't gonna punch her

too hard

at least,"

Rolling her eyes fondly, Marinette pulled the taller girl into a hug, lips curled up into a goofy smile. She still couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Alya as her best friend, practically the big sister she's always wanted, as someone she could talk to about anything and everything-

save for her alter-ego related topics of course.

Plus, it took Alya no time after the suspension incident to figure out that all the saccharine, honeyed promises and silver laced boasts from the fake fox were all

lies

Even if it took her longer to realise than Marinette would have liked. Regardless, she knew

now

. Maybe still in the dark of the numerous times Lila has threatened Marinette and willingly worked with an akuma to take down Ladybug

but

she knew enough to stay away from the dangerous girl.

It took Dupain-Cheng quite a while to hold Alya back from going absolutely feral on Lila when she found out, convincing the taller teen to leave her be, back then. To let Lila's deception become her own downfall and only take action

if necessary

"I'm glad you didn't punch her. You would have been suspended and I'd have died within a week in school without you." Marinette playfully punched Alya's shoulder, both of them perking up at the sounds of their two very loved boys making their way to them from the building behind. Alya didn't get to do as much as blink as she was tackled by an enthusiastic Nino, his endearing nickname for her (

'Ba-aaaaaabe!')

causing the aspiring designer to watch the scene with fondness.

"What was all the commotion we heard on the way here?" Adrien asked, almost making her jump, dipping under Marinette's umbrella and helping her hold it to his height with one hand.

'Behave, my heart.'

She swore.

"Just

you-know-who

causing a scene cos Alya doesn't want her clinging on her arm like the leech she is," Marinette huffed, pursing her lips with sourness. It looked like the cost of

Chloé Bourgeois

calming down her tantrums and terror by a smidge was the increase of Lila's fabrication and drama stirring.

A pain in her ass in all honesty.

"Oh? So she's aware that the leech is a liar too?"

"Yep."

"No wonder Nino was just as iffy when he saw her, hahah!"

"And it's not just him thankfully. The rest of our class are keeping a closer eye on her. Plus, with everyone worried about finals, work and what

lycée

to choose, no one is giving her the attention that she's dying for." The raven haired girl took a sigh of relief, still drained from all the excitement in the morning. She shot an appreciative smile to Adrien when he squeezed her hand. "I guess taking the high road isn't too bad. I'd have already combusted into smoke if I focused on trying to expose Lila every single time. It's better to direct my energy on things worth my time."

The blonde scoffed, smile self-deprecating now. He stared into the distance, barely acknowledging Nino and Alya splashing puddle water at each other, screeching with joy.

"That advice was

bullshit

and

you know it.

" His usual soft emeralds turned acidic and raw, hand tightening over hers as the sound of rain battered the pavement and steps. "Am I right to assume that you haven't told Alya about the time you were

threatened

and almost got

akumatised

over it?"

Ah.

The memory of the few weeks after saving her Chat Noir from

that timeline

that resurfaced to Mari's memories marked the catalyst to her and Adrien becoming closer, blurring the line between friendship and

something more

, despite her attempts in trying to distance herself from him emotionally.

'That's right, that day you couldn't even pretend that you weren't such a weak girl. That day when you broke down in front of him when he was looking for you after the dumb Lila brat pushed you over the edge. And you couldn't even stop your big mouth from running. Absolutely pathetic.'

Marinette's smile was a simple shadow of the real deal, ignoring Adrien's worrisome peep.

She was getting real sick of the ugly, horrendous, pessimistic side of herself and the fact that no matter what she did, she always worried the boy with the heart of gold.

Both boys with heart more golden than the sun itself.

"That's right," She answered nonchalantly, keeping her eyes on her friends up ahead. "And am I right to assume that

you

haven't told Nino about the time you made a deal with the devil, pretty much

selling yourself

in order to get me back into school?" The sharp intake of breath that Adrien took was more than an indication of her answer, her dissatisfaction with his methods hitting a nerve.

He definitely didn't tell Nino, just as she didn't tell Alya. They really were two peas in a pod.

"I...I feel like we've argued too many times already, Marinette. It's a new school year, a new season,

let's start over.

" He finally faced her, his fiery greens resembling her partner clad in black

far too much

for her liking.

The duo didn't say anything afterwards, attempting to figure each other out as they kept up the eye contact. Her eyes resembled the storm they were currently under, a sudden flash of lightning from above highlighted every speckle and ring of her mysterious orbs.

The sound of thunder roared through the clouds and the downfall of the rain was practically buckets of water pooling down from the skies. Adrien registered the familiarity of the scene and the umbrella he was currently helping in holding.

As so did Marinette.

So lost into each others eyes, the teens were deaf to their best friends' cheers and shouts of goodbye, departing away from them, leaving them both alone in front of the entrance of the building as they fell in love

all over again

. Their hearts beating in tandem and their lips slowly but surely curving into smiles. Finally, the older teen acted, his stare loving and sweet, reaching the hand by Marinette's side with his spare hand.

"What are you up to?" Dupain-Cheng couldn't help but wonder, the tilt of his smirk provoking her heart to bend and bounce like a gymnast but also twitch with familiarity.

And this time, she has her finger on it.

"Let's make a deal." Adrien started, smirk broadening into a shit-eating grin. He

totally

was eating up the way her cheeks coloured from the proximity and the grasps of understanding from the

déjà vu

when it came to her

His sudden boldness growing.

"Go on,"

"I'll only let you look after me...

," He paused dramatically and then leaned in close, his smile never faltering when Marinette instinctively took a little step back in surprise. Adrien let go of her hand only to settle it on the small of her back, pushing the shy girl closer to him as he freely wore his superhero persona on his sleeves.

"If you let me do the same for you,"

His words ended with a soft breath, a juxtaposition to his emotional, distraught pleas from when she was treating his wound in her house. Lightning flashed again and the thunder rumbled through the atmosphere, amplifying every feature and every raindrop of the moment. Marinette couldn't help but melt, her awed expression meeting his smile that shone brighter than the sun.

'Mon Dieu...I love him so much...but I don't deserve him...'

"Adrien..." She couldn't bear to see such an earnest look directed at her, flickering her eyes to the ground and fidgeting on the spot. Her automatic, denial for any help hurried to leave her tongue except the only thing to escape her throat was a shriek as the feeling of freezing rain soaked her head instantly.

"It's

equivalent exchange!

If you don't agree to the deal, why I'll just leave you all alone right there~" The little shit announced obnoxiously and skipped down the steps, the cheeky cat inside him cackling at the sound of her howls of rage and a flurry of feet rushing towards him in order to retrieve the umbrella back.

"You filthy weeb! Give me back my umbrella!" She jumped him, trying everything to reach the gadget as the insufferable boy used his height to his advantage, keeping it as far away from her as possible with one hand, his other hand wrapped around her waist. He was just as soaked as his beau but he didn't give a

flying fuck.

He relished every second,

every moment

"You're the one who recommended Full-metal Alchemist to me! You have yourself to blame! And isn't this the umbrella

lent you last year?

Who knew Marinette Dupain-Cheng was such a thief~?

" He taunted only to trip backwards into a giant puddle, dragging the poor girl with him with a yelp. The teens were soaked beyond compare, their kwamis hiding in their bags grateful as hell that they weren't hiding in their charge's coats.

The duo let out shrieks of disgust and commented about how disgusting the water was, crawling away from the puddle whilst clutching each other, sitting on a few steps to the school building to regain their breaths. They were already muddy, wet and filthy; there was nothing else left to lose.

Adrien could

always

give his father the

half truth

if the stoic man greets him before he cleans himself up, saying that he tripped and fell in a puddle. Marinette's parents on the other hand would wonder whether

pigs would start flying

if their daughter came home

spotless

"You idiot." Marinette bleated, breaking the comfortable silence but didn't attempt to move away from him, leaning against Adrien as the cascading rain showered them. "What does equivalent exchange have to do with stealing my umbrella?" She reached for the gadget they fought over, opening it up to shield them from the torrent even though it was quite useless at this rate.

They were certainly going to catch a cold.

"First," The model flicked her forehead with jest. "It's

umbrella. Second, I charge interest. I'm being super generous and kind here, asking for that instead of-

I dunno,

two-hundred of your handmade croissants." He nuzzled her wet hair, his cold, chapped lips against her neck like sparks lighting up her skin.

"I see..." She regarded the situation seriously now, blaming the shivers that ransacked her body from the cold and certainly not the sensation of Adrien's long lashes fluttering against her skin and his lips brushing her nape. "I...I can't promise anything...but I can try. I can try and let you in, Adrien."

And that was more than enough for the elated boy, evident in the way he intercepted her with a hug that would rival her

Chaton's

eagerness.

'Though...with all the clues and similarities I'm seeing...maybe he is-'

"I'm glad." He breathed into her soft skin. "I'm so happy that you trust me enough to support you," Marinette couldn't tell whether her hypersensitivity was exaggerating every move Adrien made because she almost swore on her earrings...

that his lips were puckered against her neck

. She was

beet red

now.

"I...I'm happy too. Thank you for not giving up on me," She cupped his cheek, inspecting him as he raised his head to meet her stare. Their position mirroring

The Eternal Kiss of the Hasanlu Lovers

, questions and answers swimming in their eyes whilst emotions and feelings were as stormy as the weather.

'Are you really my Lady?' 'Are you really my Chaton?'

The sudden sound of a car beeping a few metres away snapped the potential couple out of their trance, the boy quick to lift the girl to her feet. Adrien's bodyguard rolled the window down, beckoning him to get inside with a grunt and then rolled the window back up.

Probably to quickly drape the waterproof seat covers on the passenger seats.

The model's smile was wiped off his face, the baker girl's following suite as the creepy events from before pirouetted in their minds. Adrien's grip on Marinette's hands bestowed his reluctance to let her go. However, it was like Mari could read his mind, giving him a resolved nod.

"I'll be fine. Okay?"

"You're not scared to go home? Even after

that

? And the

rose

?" The memory of the bathroom door and window slamming shut out of the blue still sent chills down the boy's spine and his sixth sense was screaming that it was abnormal. That there's more to it than it seemed.

"I won't lie, I'm still a bit creeped out. But if it is something, it's definitely an akuma. Ladybug and Chat Noir are there to protect you and me." Marinette was certain that she was telling the truth but her heart argued otherwise, that there was something else. She didn't know what to make of this feeling.

"...Okay," Despite his word, Adrien seemed reluctant to agree. "Promise me to let me or Alya and Nino know ASAP if something's up?" This was a dirty trick. He knew it. She knew it.

Because Marinette never breaks her promises.

"...Fine." The girl's glower only deepened at his victorious smile, his large hands squeezing her smaller pair. "And you, promise me to stop being a worrywart!" She pettily cackled internally at the scowl he shot back.

"I'll stop being a worrywart if you took care of yourself for once!" He stuck his tongue out childishly, a very

Chat Noir

thing to do and Marinette couldn't help but be endeared rather than annoyed.

The impatient beeping from Adrien's ride indicated Gorilla's urgency to take the boy home. The blonde glanced at the car forlornly and then back at Marinette.

He wanted to stay by her side for longer.

"Why don't you take a ride home with me? We can drop you off." He offered. He wasn't expecting a devious smile from Dupain-Cheng however, his heart skipping a few beats or so. An iconic smile that he

knows

he's only seen on his

Lady's

lips.

"And let you steal

umbrella again? No thank you~ I live just down the street anyways."

"Ugh...the next thing I know, you'll be stealing my jackets or shirts too." Adrien missed the embarrassment and longing that flickered in her eyes for a split second.

After all, stealing items of clothing was such a

girlfriend

thing to do.

"Anyways," With a sigh, Adrien brought Marinette into his arms, fingers knotting themselves in her fallen bun, her tendrils flailing freely in the frigid weather. "Please stay safe Marinette. And...look after yourself," The way he whispered heatedly in her hair introduced the raven haired teen to an intimacy she has never breached, her heart skyrocketing.

Parallel to their proper introduction in the rain last year, Adrien Agreste rendered Marinette Dupain-Cheng dumbfounded, the cat taking the tongue. Pulling away, the boy gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his digits barely gliding over her supple cheek as thunder rumbled in the skies.

Her dumbfounded expression only worsened as Adrien brought the Chat Noir out in him to play once more, pressing his velvety lips on the

corner

of hers.

A taster of what he really was capable of.

A plus,

Marinette," Leaving the umbrella in her hand, Adrien headed to his bodyguard's car, gripping the handle of his schoolbag with an expression so

sickeningly lovesick

and so

sickeningly sweet

. The sound of Plagg's muttering complaints form the zip of his bag was left unheard as the boy was practically on

cloud nine

Meanwhile, Marinette wasn't as lucky to bathe in the feeling of soaring. Not for long at least. As much as she wanted to pump her fist up in the air with a whoop and fan-girl to Alya over the phone, her situation developed with a cruelty that shattered her heart to pieces.

'Hahah! What are the odds! The two boys you love turning out to be one all along? If it's true then that means it was not just Chat Noir suffering...it was Adrien too! It was Adrien you also failed!'

The heinous voice just kept on mocking, and mocking,

and mocking.

Tikki peered out of Marinette's bag, her doe like eyes starting to tear up at the sight of the gloom that overtook Marinette's body without mercy.

'What if it was Adrien who's been singing that horrid lullaby over and over again? What if it was Chat Noir whose parents never bandaged up his wounds? What if it was Adrien whose heart I kept on rejecting? What if it was Chat Noir who got pricked by the rose? What if...WHAT IF!?-'

The sudden feeling of the warm, magical kwami cuddling up in the nape of her neck broke the girl out of her downward spiral, her heart grieving and sobbing.

"Tikki...I don't know what to do...I don't know what to think...I don't know what to

feel!

Why does this keep happening?" The little Goddess responded to Marinette's agonising pain by lifting a hand to her charge's cheek, nuzzle her as the tears finally fell.

The dam broken.

"No matter what happens, I'll always be there to help you and guide you the best I can. I will never, ever leave your side." The kwami promised. She offered a soft smile and mentioned that they should go home, especially with how Marinette's sniffles were getting louder and sounding more congested.

"...how long do you think it will take before they reveal themselves to each other?" Wayzz's voice was nothing but calm, floating under the umbrella his master held as they both observed the little Ladybug heading home from afar.

Maître Fu

sighed tiredly, goosebumps never leaving his body from the intense cold of the weather.

"Not very long now, Wayzz. The sooner the better. After all, they will both need each other more than ever. I fear a threat greater than

Le Papillon

has awoken and it's already affecting everyone. Especially Ladybug and Chat Noir." He eyed the sky warily, as if it was a sentient monster. "As much as I'd prefer if all identities were kept a secret, it will only cause them more harm than good. I cannot afford to fail them as a Guardian again."

"Oh? What do you plan to do?"

"I will try and persuade Ladybug to tell me what happened when the rabbit hero of the future took her away all those months ago. That day started the negativity building up in her body, slowly consuming her."

"I see."

"But that's not all. I will take on the offensive and hunt down whatever has arrived in our world. Whatever that

thing

is.

For once,

I want to protect the kids with all I can."

"But

Maître,

your body is at its limit! You can't even handle a decent akuma right now, let alone this thing you claim to be more threatening than Le Papillon himself!"

"I must try, Wayzz. I must..."

~(x)~

Marinette didn't know what to expect when she entered her home, her parents still busy in the bakery and the apartment feeling more eerie than usual. Both Tikki and her were on high alert, the horrid sensation of being watched so heavy it could potentially cut off her airways.

Her ears

rang

Her entire body

shivered

Her reflexes on her fire as she winced at every creak and moan the building made. The sounds of the forceful rain shooting the windows and water gurgling in the waterspout only

heightened

the terror. All of a sudden, the urge to go to her balcony struck her core, Marinette's body leaping up the stairs to her room and heading towards the trapdoor above her bed like a rabbit on the run. She was deaf to Tikki's cries as her dirty, wet clothes left sopping water all over the place.

Marinette tore the trapdoor open, leaping out and onto the balcony.

All the sounds in the world disappeared as her eyes registered the item that was left on the railing this time.

A rose.

The rose.

The dreaded, derisive, hideous white rose!

Its grotesque looking thorns were like claws, digging into her property and its petals were tattered and wilted, as if it was stomped on by a herd. Thunder and lightning screamed through the heavens, the best visualisation for the turmoil that was burning inside Marinette as the rain tore at her body.

The girl snarled at the rose, stomping towards the edge of her balcony and pushed herself forward, eyes frenziedly looking for the creep that

dared

to approach her again.

Especially after hurting Adrien!

"SHOW YOURSELF!" She bellowed, squinting through the deluge of raindrops and scanning the area in front. Her knuckles whitened from the herculean grip on the railings. "I SAID SHOW YOURSELF!!!" Again, she got nothing in return, her chest heaving and coughs erupting from her mouth, scraping her throat and chest raw. Tikki patted Marinette's shoulder, eyes glued to the surroundings until they widened.

"Marinette! Over there!" The kwami pointed to the direction of the park, the girl hauling herself to that angle and gaped at the blurry silhouette drenched on the rain. Yet, the more the duo attempted to make out the figure, the harder the rain fell and the wind blew. Not to mention that it was almost pitch black and none of the lights around were even

Finally,

just finally

, recognition blared in Marinette's brain, barely managing to notice the strange feline ears on the figure's head and the strange tail behind it.

"Chaton...? Chat...

Chat Noir?

" She whispered at first, voice hoarse and nose clogged, not believing her eyes at first. Clearing her throat, Marinette readied herself to call him over, ask why he was outside-

Ma Princesse!

What are you doing out here!? Get back inside!"

Marinette almost jumped out of her skin, violently pressing her back against the balcony with bewilderment as she stared down at the Chat Noir who was perched on her

railing

. Tikki was quick to dart inside the plant pots, out of sight.

Two add two weren't equalling four.

The hero himself has never seen such a scared expression on the girl, defences on high alert. He was about to question her again but paused when Marinette frantically looked back at where she was glaring at earlier on. The way her hands trembled and the absolute dread that took over her face caused Noir to leap to her side, pushing her behind him with one arm and scrutinise the area.

They stayed like that for seconds that felt like decades, the chill of the cold and fear like a blade pressed to the skin. Chat searched and searched

and searched

. Nevertheless, the boy couldn't find anything out of the ordinary but didn't dare to lower his guard. His faux ears flickered to life as Marinette mumbled.

"If you're here...then who did I see over

there

watching me?

Just as he

thought

the rage and anxiety he felt rushing through his veins was bad enough, he noticed the horrific white flower sagging upon the railing like a corpse in a river.

His fury

exploded

by ten folds, his fangs glinting with bloodlust and his eyes constricted to the point where they were just mere slits. He almost didn't register his body swiping the dishevelled rose off the railing and crushing it even

further

with his boot. His breathing almost feral and ragged.

"Marinette, what's going on?"

Noir glowered over his shoulder, body still panting with the uncontrollable animosity, begging to claw whatever was hurting them to

absolute shreds

The girl merely stared into the distance, eyes vacant and face hollow, rain dripping down her hair and face.

"Some...someone is watching...always watching...

and he won't stop until he gets what he wants.

THUD!

"MARINETTE!!!!!!"

She fainted.

~(x)~

A/N: Another build up chapter but don't worry, the guy we all have been waiting for will make his debut soon. But anyways, just want to quickly clarify something. 1) yes there will obviously be an identity reveal but it's gonna happen very early on in this story because not only am I an impatient slut, I'm also a hoe for post-reveal pre-relationship. 2) this is not a salty Lila take down fic. I'm trying to deal with the school drama beef as realistically as I can (cos Marinette is right, she has more important things to worry about lmao) and the Italian will have a vital part in the story- probably not in the way you guys are thinking UwU. Thank you for reading and I'll update when I can!

#my writing #my fanfiction #blanc noise #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #ghost blanc au #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette #adrienette #marichat

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ofmythsandmadness · 4 years

Text

MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART TWO (spoilers)

So...I finished season two.

I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention.

You can read part one to this here.

FIVE HARGREEVES…

I deadass thought he was gonna die.

I thought throughout the entire show that he was going to die, and ESPECIALLY at the end, I thought that was it. I guess I’m glad though that he didn’t die of course. But I was convinced, and glad he didn’t and that there was no shock-value death of a major character.

(though like maybe one of them should have gotten hit by a bullet in one of those final scenes?? I mean….there were bullets EVERYWHERE. By SO many guns. How did they miss every time????)

Aiden Gallagher did a terrific job with the character. I don’t agree with the things he personally has done but I am convinced on his acting abilities, I mean JEEZ. He sold the act and alongside Diego/David Casteneda, was really one of the best actors on the show. I am thoroughly impressed. I didn’t really like him much in Season One, but he’s sold the role to me now and I’m very impressed.

That being said... I kinda hated Five. That’s it. I liked him in general but some parts, I was so pissed off and just didn’t like. He was an asshole and I know he IS an asshole but it was beyond just being a grumpy old pisspot. And I don’t know really how to feel, because I know being 45 years alone and lost and then becoming the world’s best assassin or whatever will fuck your head up, so it makes sense. I just think there were points where he lost most of his humanity, and then he’d flip-flop back to a more caring being. I sort of just wished there was a clear definition to all of his thoughts and emotions on it all.

But at the same time his character makes sense so I don’t know how to feel??? Maybe I’m just pissed on how he treated Diego and shit. But I’m very very glad he’s not dead!!

ALLISON HARGREEVES…

Okay, I thought she was REALLY dead in that scene. You know the one I’m talking about.

Holy shit.

I was so scared. And also it was so sudden (and a little cool admittedly how Lila just threw it back at her like that - HOW DO I WORD thAT NON-SEXUALLY) and I was so fucking worried they’d kill her off, because I find sometimes her character comes off a little disposable. Not because I want her gone, more that the show finds her an afterthought and pushes her with someone or ‘silences’ her.

But overall I loved her storyline. I didn’t know if I’d like her just being married, it felt again like an afterthought and she was being pushed to be with someone, but the civil rights movement plot was really well done, in my eyes. I loved too the agony of having such impressive powers, but scared of the effects of doing so and also not wanting to be the person she was before. I felt for her and I was so impressed with her separating herself from her past, trying to push away from being the one who had it all and trying to be her own self. I think that this season did that really well, with all the characters and finding themselves, and I just...I want her to be happy, and successful and I want to see her find a way to use her powers without causing pain to herself or others.

And not be with Luther. Please, anyone who can do a thing about it reading this, do not make her and Luther a thing.

(also - emmy raver lampman is in general so goddamn talented and beautiful and i wish her the best. i just heard her rendition of satisfied and me oh my, that gal deserves so much more love, i hope this show catapults her career even more forward)

VANYA HARGREEVES…

Literally invented cottagecore.

Also, I love her.

I was so impressed with the way they handled her queer storyline. I was so worried about it, admittedly because television shows have a history of handing out stereotypical plotlines and not caring about the depth of them but dear FUCKING heavens, I loved this one. I cried like a baby, and yet I was left almost happy, at the end? Not happy, because they’re apart and Sissy’s stuck in a world that she can’t be herself in, but there was a beautiful bittersweetness that I adored about it. And it was realistic, and they didn’t just follow a trope and leave it there to wither up and die.

Vanya was adorable in this season and while I normally hate the amnesiac storyline, I think it’s an easy way out, I liked it here! Because yeah it was I guess an ‘easy way out’, but it worked and it made Vanya be able to be here and actually start over. I didn’t want to see her so burdened with who she had been and who she was forced to be, I wanted to see her smile and dance and love her siblings and she could and I couldn’t be happier. I mean, when she was just saying how she loved her family and her family was amazing...obviously it’s funny cause the family’s so messed up, but she meant it and I just want so much good for her.

I just love how they naturally developed the idea of the Hargreeves genuinely liking each other. This season really brought them together but unlike the first, it wasn’t necessarily because they had to, but because they wanted to. And I think Vanya did that for them.

Basically...I don’t know how to put it all into words without making this a 70-page thesis essay. But I love her and want the best for her.

(side note - I really also was impressed with Harlan. I was scared that somehow they were going to do something stupid with him, but he was adorable and I loved him. his character made me tear up a little, too. as someone who has close family with severe autism, it’s rare to see a show that doesn’t make an upsetting and non-accurate portrayal out of someone on the spectrum. but he was so precious and smart and good and Sissy loved him and dammit, I would die for that little family)

I’m ALSO curious if Vanya’s gonna visit Sissy ever? I mean I thought she would have at the end but obviously the cliffhanger didn’t leave room for that...idk know though because I think with multiverse theories and whatnot, she wouldn’t even know her but...eh.

KLAUS HARGREEVES…

I don’t actually have much to say on him, which is shocking because in Season One, I could have written a whole book on his character. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love him! He’s still one of my favourites, and I wish I could just take away his pain because that boy deserves at least a kernel of good in his life. But truly, there’s just not much I know to say about him??

The scene in the restaurant with Dave and his uncle though hurt. What hurt more though was his nonchalant nature about it, because he’s been through that so many times and he almost expected it, which hurt. It’s expected and I knew he couldn’t just waltz up to Dave and confess his love and they’d be dandy, but as a queer person, it was a punch to the heart just watching him go through that.

I just want him to be happy someday, and bond with his siblings because there’s a deep sadness that lurks with Klaus, and maybe it’s from the actor too but there’s a melancholy that I relate to, which I hate because that melancholy is a heavy burden to carry. A worthlessness, and a deep depression that he’s seemed to have fallen into that’s a bitch to climb out of and I’m scared that he won’t be able to. He covers it up in funny gestures and vices but it’s still destroying him. Even the cult - he lacks any real love and he finds it in meaningless places, never remembering their names or anything about them and coming off as an asshole when really, he’s just looking for someone who truly cares about him, who he is on the inside and listens to him without yknow, becoming brainwashed and treating him like a god.

I’m interested to see where the show takes his character.

BEN HARGREEVES…

This show really said fuck my feelings on this one, huh???

EPISODE NINE MADE ME SO NUMB AND SAD AND JUST - FUCK.

I cried so hard when he got to save the day. He finally could do more than just follow Klaus around, and he finally got to be more than their dead brother. For so long, Ben was just an idea, a memory and I can only imagine the pain of having to deal with that. They touch on it in the show but it’s so much deeper than just being alone with only Klaus to talk to - I mean Ben was literally nothing, to any of the others, aside from being their dead brother. And when he finally got to save them, and save Vanya and fucking HUG HER AS HE PASSES ON TO THE AFTERLIFE….when I tell you I sobbed....

And his hug with Diego, how HAPPY they both were….the way that they both just….:’((

And that scene with young Klaus and Ben....Netflix when I said I wanted more Ben content I don’t know if I meant THIS.

At the same time...it was beautiful and bittersweet because he was happy, almost, moving on to his next life. He was able to do what he needed to and move on and that was beautiful. And, he got to say goodbye to at least some of his siblings, and so I can’t truly be sad about his passing. Even though it made me sob like a newborn babe.

But also...what the fuck was that ending?

And by that I mean, who the fuck signed off on that stupid lil’ haircut??? HUH???? WHY DID HE LOOK LIKE HE WAS WEARING FUCKING FAKE BANG-CLIPONS AOIHWGOIHWOIWHOIGWH

IN CONCLUSION. Fuck Reginald Hargreeves and also just FUCK.

In conclusion, I really loved this season. It ended happier than I expected and that makes me happy, so much more happy then I thought I would have been. TUA has been one of my favourite shows, and I’ve over the past while waiting for S2, developed several strong loves for these characters. More than I’ve ever cared about others. And for the most part, they were given the justice I hoped they would be.

Overall, I am happy. And I hope we get season three, almost entirely just so I can figure out if Ben Hargreeves is wearing fake-bang clip ons or not. And also...like for everything else.

Also, what the fuck is a Sparrow Academy? Whomst??? And where’s miss Lila?? And are they technically related and if so HUH?? And also...no rights to Mr Reginald.

This is such a messy summary, lmao.

But let me know what you think! I’m going to rewatch it soon, probably tonight and I’m so excited to fall even more in love with it. (and them)

#tua #tua spoilers #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy spoilers #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #lila pitts #raymond chestnut #umbrella academy

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justanotherlifeff · 4 years

Note

Hi I saw you were doing bnha x readers, I was wondering if you could do a bakugo x reader where they go one their first date or one where bakusquad tried to set them up cause they both like eachother please fluff and IDC of it's smut or not

Phase 2

"Bakubro, you're already 25. Don't you think you should go for a serious relationship by now?" Kirishima asked the explosive hero infront of him, who only glared at the hardening hero. "You don't get to tell me what to do shitty hair! My goal is to be the number 1 hero. Not play house." Bakugou barked at Kirishima, making Kirishima sigh. The two of them were good friends since their UA days and while Bakugou was more matured than he was back then, that explosive attitude surely didn't change at all. "What about after being the number 1 hero? Do you even have any plans for then? Bro, right now, fighting and having random hookups may sound nice but in the long term, when you’ll have to retire at some point, you're gonna regret wasting away your life just for one goal." Kirishima tried to reason. "Shut your trap, shitty hair. I don't do love or any sappy bullshit like that." Bakugou grumbled, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. "Unless it's (Y/N)... Too bad that she friendzoned me to oblivion..." Bakugou thought internally. At the moment, Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari were in a bar after a long day of hero work to catch up. Bakugou still hung out with the infamous Bakusquad every once in a while, though he usually hung out mostly with Kirishima or you. "Bakubro? Are you scared of the responsibility that comes with relationships? Didn't take you to be the one to be scared of something like that... Even I had the courage to get Kyoka with me." Kaminari teased Bakugou on que. "HAH? I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING DUNCE FACE! FUCKING THROW A RELATIONSHIP AT ME AND SEE HOW I HANDLE THAT SHIT!" Bakugou barked at Kaminari. To that, Kirishima and Kaminari fistbumped behind their backs as their plan was going perfectly.

In a completely different bar, you were sitting with Mina and Sero, sipping the (Drink/N) in your hand. "So, (Y/N)! When are you gonna bag a hot guy into your clutches? My married ass can't see you single for any longer and I am itching to play cupid at this point." Mina elbowed you with a smile. "Sero's single too. Why don't you bother him?" you scoffed in answer, gulping your drink. "Hot guy my ass... The hot guy I like is an egoistical bastard..." you thought internally. "Actually, I'm not single? I kinda started dating a colleague last month..." Sero countered your statement bashfully. "Seeee? You're the only one between us who's single. THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE!" Mina slammed on the table to make a point. "Zeez... Calm your tits Mina... I'm single cause not everyone is manly enough to actually marry the girl he dates. You're one lucky bastard Mina, bagging Kiri like that... The guys I have a thing for usually ends up being fuckboys who only want a one time thing and I'm not into that shit. So it's best to stay single and not get hurt." you sighed. "Alright, (Y/N), if we can get you a guy who isn’t a fuckboy, would you finally go on a date?" Mina asked, looking all mischievous. "Why do I feel like you're plotting something?" you sighed, looking at Mina, tired of her antics.

You became a part of the infamous Bakusquad back in your first year at UA. You were in class 1A and Mina pretty much adopted your antisocial ass into the group. It wasn’t that you were introverted because you talked enough. It was just the fact that you were way too straight forward, to the extent that you sounded kinda rude. However, you tried to be a nice person in general. While it may come as a surprise, the only other person you were close to most in the group except Mina was Bakugou. That was probably because Bakugou respected your brutal honesty and the fact that you could shove reality on people's face without a second thought. Not to mention that Bakugou was quite fascinated by your quirk too. You were interested in Bakugou for the exact same reasons though you found him to be unnecessarily rude sometimes. With time, the two of you started having a thing for eachother, which was pretty much common knowledge within the class when you all reached your third year at UA. However, that's when everything went wrong. Bakugou had finally manned up enough to ask you out at the end of your third year and you made the mistake of hugging and calling him "the best FRIEND you can ever have" after he took you on a date. In your defence, he never mentioned that it was a date and you figured that the two of you were hanging out as friends. Hell, you didn't even know that he had a thing for you as both Bakugou and you were completely oblivious when it came to feelings. Unfortunately, Bakugou felt as if you completely and utterly friendzoned him at that moment, and stopped trying to win your affections and instead, went for random hookups while you were deeply saddened by your crush's sudden change and you pretty much stopped having a love life.

Did that stop the two of you from all the passive agressive flirting you threw at eachother? No, it did not. Infact, to both of your surprise, you two ended up hanging out quite a lot. Ofcourse, they always ended with a weird giddy feeling in both of your stomachs and blazing anger in your minds as the two of you pissed eachother off quite a lot. To be fair, Bakusquad was tired of you two pining on eachother for 9 whole years. They had no idea about Bakugou trying to ask you out at some point as Bakugou would never reveal a failed attempt at sonething. To Bakusquad, enough was enough. After all, who the fuck pines on eachother for 9 fucking years and not make a move? Ever since Kirishima and Mina got married to eachother, they had enough of your and Bakugou's shit. Like every other happily married couple, they decided with the squad that this time, they would finally set the two of you up together. Hence, it all led to them planning the entire thing out and you were now sitting at a reserved table at a fancy restaurant after taking a day off from hero work so that you could meet your mystery date. Did you know why you even agreed to this? Blame Mina for bribing you with the entire series of a very rare first edition of a manga signed by the author himself that you have been saving up for. You honestly expected it to be a rather boring date as you had no interest in being with a random dude and you were only here for the manga and the food. However, you did not expect that random dude to be Bakugou.

Did Bakugou expect to see you instead of some random woman sitting there on the table that Kirishima forced him to reserve for the so called date? No, he totally didn't. You looked as surprised as he did when he entered the restaurant and found you sitting there. This was one of the extremely expensive restaurants in Tokyo and Bakugou always chose the best even if it was some stupid worthless date because it was either classy with Bakugou or nothing. Upon realising the fact that none of you expected something like this, Bakugou felt the bad memories of him trying to date you years back plague him, drowning his self confidence to some extent which in return pissed him off. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Bakugou asked you with a scowl as he approached you. "Guess our idiot friends were trying to get us together." You sighed, motioning him to sit on the chair infront of you. "Fucking shitty hair..." Bakugou grumbled, not looking at you. "Mina lost her damn mind... Here I was looking for a loyal dude and she sent the Ground Zero who's specifically known to be a womanizer." you teased Bakugou, trying to ease up the gloomy mood. "Ya know, you could leave if this isn't your thing." Bakugou looked at you and stated with a scowl. "Meh, Mina bribed me enough to stay. Plus we didn't hang out in a while so it's a win win for me. I honestly thought I'll have to make a conversation with some random weirdo." you answered carefreely. "Did she bribe you with that rare first edition manga that you were obsessing over?" Bakugou asked, raising an eyebrow. "Guilty as charged" you answered, winking at him. Only if you knew that your action made him literally have butterflies in his stomach (something he would never admit).

Kirishima, Mina and Kaminari were hiding outside the restaurants, looking over at you and Bakugou by the window of the cafe. "Bakugou looks too constipated... Ya think we need to get to phase 2?" Kaminari asked. "Uh... I still don't think that's a good idea..." Kirishima tried to reason with the two weirdos beside him but Mina was already calling the cafe to prepare for the said 'phase 2' of the plan.

Bakugou was already uncomfortable about the entire thing from the begining but now that a random dude came at them with a violin and started playing some sappy romantic music, Bakugou was this close to losing his temper. It didn't take long for you to notice Bakugou's dilemma. "You wanna get out of here? Our friends clearly crossed the limit..." you asked him. Without any hesitation, he said, "Fuck... Fine, let's go." before he stood up and left the restaurant with you following him, leaving the violin man and the waiters confused as to why you left without your order even after you already paid for it. "Wow, that was intense." you laughed as Bakugou sulked about how shitty their friends are. "Well, how did they convince you to get here? Didn’t you tell enough interviewers that you 'don't do love'?" you asked Bakugou, teasing him though you were kinda curious. "Shitty hair asked me about what I'd do after I retire and said that I'll regret not giving love a chance so I decided to give it a shot." Bakugou grumbled without looking at you. Ofcourse he wasn’t gonna tell you that they got him into their trap simply by challenging him cause you'd tease him to death over it. "Oooo someone's growing up. Good for you." you answered him with a smile before continuing, "I guess I listened to Mina about this shit cause, well, I used to like this guy but it wasn’t mutual and I guess I wanted to forget about him for a while. I mean, I pretty much never had a love life so...". "Dude must be dumb. You're cool." Bakugou answered, not looking at you as the two of you entered a park that was nearby. "Nah, he's amazing. It's just, love isn't really his thing and I can't exactly change his views." you muttered sadly. "Well, he's still a dumbass." Bakugou huffed in answer. "Okay? I guess he really is a dumbass. I mean, I'm quite sure he came into this date cause Kaminari or Kirishima challenged him to and he actually thought I wouldn’t figure it out." you scoffed, looking away from Bakugou.

Bakugou's face was priceless. At first, he was pissed that you called him a dumbass but then it hit him. "You... You like me?" he choked out, looking shocked. "Well, wasn’t it obvious by now? Our friends set us up together and there was a weird dude playing violin. It seemed that Mina understood that I have a thing for you and did all that. Mina or Kirishima wouldn’t want me to be hurt as they are my friends and if you didn't like me, he wouldn’t set me up with you given that you have serious fuckboy tendencies. Well, it doesn’t really matter if I like you anyway cause you're not into long term shit." you answered his question with a sigh. "Ya know (Y/N), I only got into this fuckboy phase cause you rejected me once." Bakugou muttered. "Huh? When did I reject you? What are you talking about?" you asked, visibly confused. "Don't you remember that day at the end of third year? I took you out on a date to see that sappy ass movie together and you hugged me and friendzoned me?" Bakugou accused you. "That was a date?" you asked him with an incredulous expression. "Hah? You didn't realise that was a damned date?" Bakugou barked at you. "OFCOURSE I DIDN'T! YOU NEVER MENTIONED THAT IT WAS A DA..." Bakugou didn't let you complete that sentence as his lips were already on yours. After a kiss that took your breath away, he pulled away, leaving you completely flustered. "I'm not gonna date you if you're gonna fuck around." you stated, still out of breathe from the kiss. "Ofcourse I won't you dumbass! We are fucking official from now! Tf do you think I am?" Bakugou snapped at you? "Idk, you called yourself a dumbass a while back?" you teased him. "DIE!!!!" Bakugou barked at you to that.

"Well, I guess that worked?" Kirishima muttered as they were hiding in the park, watching Bakugou chase you with small explosions in his hands as you kept cackling with laughter, running from him. "Phase 2 never fails." Mina and Kaminari stated in unison with smug expressions as Kirishima looked back at them in disbelief.

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