#I haven't got a single clue what I'm going to end up doing. maybe that's why I see so little worth in trying to figure it out

[limbus-datamines]

Heathcliff Announcer Lines

Long post, under cut

"id": "announcer_cheer_14_1", "dlg": "Uh… I mean. Uh, Ahem. Good luck, mate."

"id": "announcer_cheer_14_2", "dlg": "Do whatever you want out there! I'm sure you'll knock 'em all down with a single strike!"

"id": "announcer_specialcheer_14_1", "dlg": "Haah… This ain't the first time I've seen this sorry sight. Bloodied, teetering on the brink of death… But we don't want to run away and look like cowards, yeah?"

"id": "announcer_specialcheer_14_2", "dlg": "You'll all get killed at this rate… Well, Clockhead's here to bring you back, so don't let that stop you! Keep pushing, yeah?"

"id": "announcer_enemy_break_14_1", "dlg": "Look at 'em, they're in tatters! That one's looking particularly knackered… smash that one's head in!"

"id": "announcer_ally_break_14_1", "dlg": "Bloody hell… I told you to get out of the way, didn't I? Oi, someone! Draw the enemy's attention 'till that one gets back up."

"id": "announcer_killenemy_14_1", "dlg": "One down. Keep knocking 'em down, and we'll be the only ones standing in the end. Now that's a proper fight, innit?"

"id": "announcer_ally_dead_14_1", "dlg": "Good luck turning the clock on that one… looks like it'll hurt. Oi, maybe there's a way to die in ways that are less painful for Clockhead to go through?"

"id": "announcer_enemy_adv_14_1", "dlg": "Hah, what a mess… You can keep going, but it'll just hurt more when you inevitably have to turn the clock later."

"id": "announcer_ally_adv_14_1", "dlg": "Right. What'd I say? The winner's always the last one standin'. Listen. Don't think about how much it'll hurt… think about what you'll do after that bloke's dead. It'll give you strength."

"id": "announcer_danger_14_1", "dlg": "One little mistake and you'll be a goner! Think hard on it before makin' a move."

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialskill_14_1", "dlg": "Oi! Look at that twit over there! Something's goin' on… C'mon, hide!"

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialgimmick_14_1", "dlg": "I'm good at sussing things out, yeah? They're obviously about to do something, but I haven't a clue as to what. Think about it, why don't you?"

"id": "announcer_advatk_physical_14_1", "dlg": "Violence really is the best solution, innit? Beat its arse!"

"id": "announcer_disadvatk_physical_14_1", "dlg": "That's uh… that ain't very effective, yeah? I mean, I suppose it wasn't completely useless, but… well, you'll get there eventually."

"id": "announcer_advatk_attr_14_1", "dlg": "Ooh! That was a smart move, yeah? Reminds me of the brainy sort I met back in my Syndicate days."

"id": "announcer_disadvatk_attr_14_1", "dlg": "That was… Hm. Don't make me call you stupid, now."

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialbuff_14_1", "dlg": "What are all them sods all excited about? I've got a bad feeling about this…"

"id": "announcer_enemy_specialdebuff_14_1", "dlg": "Oi, they all look bloody pissed on liquor!"

"id": "announcer_ally_specialbuff_14_1", "dlg": "Ooh, you're all full of beans! See anything funny?"

"id": "announcer_ally_specialdebuff_14_1", "dlg": "What's up with the grimace? C'mon, smile! What, did someone die or something?"

"id": "announcer_enemy_destroy_14_1", "dlg": "Niiiice~ You broke the sod's leg. It ain't running from this fight any time soon!"

"id": "announcer_enemy_destroy_14_2", "dlg": "You destroyed the part that's been getting on my nerves. This is our chance! Lads, lasses! Get 'em!"

"id": "announcer_round_takebigdmg_14_1", "dlg": "Woah! Ah… that looked like it hurt. You all right, mate?"

"id": "announcer_round_takebigdmg_14_2", "dlg": "Might want to get that looked at before we go rushing in again. I know I've a temper, but that looked bad even in my eyes. Take a moment to recover."

"id": "announcer_round_givebigdmg_14_1", "dlg": "Blimey, that was some strike! You left 'em in shambles!"

"id": "announcer_round_givebigdmg_14_2", "dlg": "Heh, that cost 'em an arm and a leg… what now? Oi, that was a bloody amazing strike, by the way!"

"id": "announcer_multikillenemy_14_1", "dlg": "You did that… all on your own? Teach me how to do that, too."

"id": "announcer_equip_14_1", "dlg": "What should I tell Cathy when I finally see her…? Oh, the recording's started already? Ahem. I ain't too used to this mic business… but let's go."

#limbus company #heathcliff #announcer lines

[solangewrite]

What more ifs would u like to see more of

So this is a list of what I would like to see more and that I like!!

I'm so sorry for the tag! If you want me to remove your blog please tell me!

PS. This is my opinions!

-----------

@fromtheashesweriseif , where the ROs are the same as MC or NB, and the parents who are all transgender. It really makes you discover something new and experience!

@ingenio-academy-if who MC gender is set as agender, love love the concept!

@jaunefleurwrites , ‘A world without you’. It really brings out the emotions, and I really loved that we played as a 'sick' MC, it made me view someone else's perspective, which helped me a lot to understand someone.

@scabiosa-if Monsters. Yeah. But for me it means to not “judge a book by its cover”, the appearance won't show how the character will act with you. It's like a box. You need to open it to see what truly is inside. Also @fell-star-if !!

@obesericewrites angst. One of the RO has a child. I loved this, just.. I love it. This IF is emotional, yet at the same time it reminds me of a family? ...It's going to hurt. have mercy

@defiledheartsblog This is everything. Loved loved and loved this!! MC comes to revenge and oops! finally looks like MC is not able to.. (or is!!)

@sinners-if Also is to ‘not judge a book by it's cover’. Yeah, Grey may be 'cold' at first, but that's totally normal in my opinion. You both are strangers, maybe more as time will pass, you'll get to know Grey and Grey will be able to know you. Everyone has a soft spot for somebody, but you need to earn that place, it isn't for granted, and can be easily lost. Unless you want Grey to go to prison LOL revenge!

@lilac-den where MC isn't good with people (kinda?). MC doesn't have many friends, and will have to learn to interact more with people. As an antisocial, I got easily obsessed reading this IF! Oli though is a good friend! Gives MC some advice to get lai-

@kalorphic I love action. So spies??? Sign me up! This is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions I have a feeling. I really love the concept!

And well this is going to be long so under the cut lol! <3 Get ready for a lot and a lot more IF blogs.. haha! ❤️❤️❤️

@night-market-if loved that MC didn't remember where they came from, stuck in somewhere where they have no single clues!!

@nacregames “Morning Star” how do I say this??? Angels? Devils? Anyone? I'm here till the end!!

@zorlok-if <- This. Right here. *chief kiss* Get to be a demon losing their memories... And the demo is just super funny! I won't forget that Tommy erased our memory. N.e.v.e.r TOMMY WHY

@sinnersandsaints-linwrites angst, again. But I really loved the demo, it gave me a range of emotions that I couldn't describe. There's a range of supernatural that I haven't seen in IFs -> (Khari)

@corpsereviver-if Angels??? I don't know but I am looking at this from afar! I'm not stalking your blog I swear I- I can explain! MC has one wing!! And- I don't know what to say, argh!! Love the concept!

@doriana-gray-games YES YES YES. We like Sherlock!!!! Mystery!!! Love everything from this!!

@twyam-if We aren't the 'hero' of the story!!! It's actually MC friends?! This is going to be so interesting!!

@mondaysandwich Hello??? Work in a bar with demons??? Please sign me up!! I love the characters and everything!! And I always wanted to be a barista so it's a big plus for me!

@villains-promise what to say to this? It's right in my alley! Angst is coming- I'm bringing it a lot. Brings a lot of emotions!

@barbwritesstuff Loved the concept, really well written and was totally shocked as I didn't expect some part, you can even become an alpha!!! so... wolf on the moon when?

@lifesupreme-if WOAH. No words. It's like in the future, and I don't know how to express it lol!

@magiciansvoyage love love this!! Everything! I really enjoyed reading this!!

@allieebobo Tennis!! I love sports! So this was also in my alley!

@evertidings Bounty hunter!!! And it was just recently updated also! Loved loved this!!

@veirsewrites Old vampire! Gah! I love this so much!!! Also the one who inspired me to do IFs in the first place!! <3

@milaswriting What's your secret??? Why am I already obsessed with reading this??? Have you put a spell on me??! It's just so good!!!

@goldrush-if No words. Only affection. I am speechless, have you also put a spell on me???

@zico-if Hi??? Is that angst I see???? I love this already!

@the-keeper-of-midnight Gah! If only I could express just how good this is!!!

@acourtofserpents Erhm??? The demo?? Lord I got sent in another universe just how good it was!!

@chaosbringerx THIS. I am waiting for this patiently!!!!

@hauntthebodies Love love this! It's so difficult to express it but I love it!!! also transgender MC??? hi??

@legend-of-a-savior-if THE WRITING IS SO GOOD. the angst- my affection toward them is full of admiration. You really get immersed in the story!!!

@thrill-seeker-if Do i need to say it-??? Hello??? I- I don't think I'm able to say just how much I LOVE this!!

@whatlovelybones-if uhm hi?? Killer vibes??? This is totally in my alley- argh the angst coming straight for us!!! AND THEIR WRITING??? speechless.slams money on the table

@adoriels-tears-if Love that MC is a half-elf!!! And that it is 'illegal'??? That MC father 'left'??? angst right there, love it.

@todays-lessons-if Get to be a teacher!!! Ahhhh I'm waiting for this!

@lost-kiwi-dev Love this so much!!! ahhhh!!! the characters everything- I'm in love

@lostlambs-ifgame you get to be an assassin!!! And their writing is just *chief kiss*

@esper-game I'm in love with this game!!! Gah!!

@unwilling-souls-if No words for this. Just my affection for everything!

@nyehilismwriting This was so fun to read!! I loved this!

@beetlebethwrites I got the chance to learn new animals!!

@leoneliterary Jeez! I'm in love with your characters!!! Your writing is just *chief kiss*!

@llamagirl28 The two IFs!! I got so damn obsessed!!!

@lucid-fate-if Hi??? It's so good??? Love this!!

@leftski-if I have no words, it's just so good!!

@northern-passage No words could say just how much I love this. I loved to replay it each time!!! Will never get bored of it!

@attollogame I am. Obsessed. I would sell my soul to just read it all day!

@rotten-games

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There's a lot and a lot more.. But I will have to stop here sadly!! ❤️❤️❤️ Please go send these authors some love and support! A small message would definitely make their day better :)

Here is the suite! Here!

Suite 2 : Here!

#imma pin this #will add more when I find :3 #my answers were pretty short at the end haha #my hands started to hurt #sorry! ❤️ #you can message me/send an ask if you want to remove your blog from the list!!! #Just in the asks you need to remove anon #As I want to know if it's really the author. #if recs #you should definetly send some love to all of these authors 💛 #they definitely need it #just send some sweet words to them with anon on or off 💛 #interactive fiction #interactive fiction recommendations #if rec #interactive game #recs #recommendations

[oddeyes588]

Uh oh it's a little late but guess who's posting about Oshi no Ko again, courtesy of chapter 147~

I have no goddamn clue what Aka is cooking.

As if ANYBODY knows what Aka is cooking LMAO. At this point we're all just here going along for the ride, regardless of where it ends up. At the very least, I'm stubbornly keeping my faith in him... and also theorycrafting. That's what this post is. Buckle up, folks. Spoilers below... here are my thoughts and speculations on the latest chapter.

In any case, starting with the first part of the chapter, featuring Kamiki. Honestly? I kind of doubt that Ruby didn't recognize him. It's not even a case of anime sameface, if Akane could recognize the uncanny resemblance, then so should Ruby... especially considering her current feelings for Aqua (lmao).

Which does beg the question... being that if she DID recognize him and her romantic feelings for Gorou haven't dumbed her down (which is the worst case scenario), why would she talk with him like this? Well, it's made clear by Ruby herself... she isn't sure.

Thanks to Aqua, she's abandoned the path of revenge, entrusting it all to him (without knowing just how badly he's doing mentally as a result). She's "poured out" her hatred so that she can move on, so that she can pursue the dream she's held in her heart throughout both her past life and her current life. To be an idol, to shine even brighter than Ai, one of the "stars" that kept her going when she was Sarina.

She's also learned, through acting for this movie, the unfortunate truth that nothing in this world is as simple as black and white. Hikaru Kamiki, her father, the one who killed Ai... he was never as simple as a malicious and unforgivable villain. He's a boy who has gone through severe hardships that sent him down the path to being the broken individual he is today.

But that doesn't mean she can forgive him. No matter where he came from or why he did it, the fact remains that he took Ai from them. She wants to pour out her hate, but that feeling stubbornly remains. Thus, she's at a dilemma. Is it right for her to continue hating him? Can she really move on if she does?

I think that's why she talks to him, why she tells him all this, while acting like he's just a stranger. In interacting with him directly, she hopes to receive an answer on what to do. (God I will pop the hell off if I actually got this right. Give me this, Aka. Tell me I'm just as batshit crazy as you are.)

Now, obviously I can hear the cries about how that really isn't the smartest play. I mean, come on girl, you are dealing with a literal murderer. There is not a single instant during this interaction where she isn't in very real danger... but impulsiveness is one of Ruby's defining traits. I think we need to stop expecting her to do the logical thing. She was in broad daylight, so she must've figured he wouldn't have killed her THERE... but it's hard to tell at this point.

She took her opportunity to give voice to her thoughts to the very subject of her hatred, but revenge isn't her goal anymore. Aqua brought her off of that path, even if she doesn't realize the consequences of leaving it all to him. In any case, those are my thoughts on Ruby.

Now, for Hikaru...

God he's so fucked up. God it's so interesting to me that his star turned white in that moment.

It couldn't be clearer where Hikaru's insane fucking headspace is at. He kills those with potential, those who shine the brightest, because by depriving the world of that light he can feel the "weight" of his own. Fucked up! Truly, not a single person in this family is okay.

But again, it's interesting to me that his star was white in this moment. We see him approaching Ruby as if to push her down the stairs, but it makes me wonder if he really was going to kill her. If he was going to kill her, wouldn't his star be black? The stars mean a lot of things symbolically, but murderous intent seems to be a theme with the black stars...

...or maybe he's just so fucked up that killing is, for him, what gives him those white stars. If feeling the weight of his life after killing is what he lives for, then maybe that's what gives him that light, even if only briefly.

For the moment, it's all speculation. Akane comes in with the save and gets Ruby away from him before anything can happen... and honestly, I gotta wonder what Akane's place is in all of this.

As we know, Akane is trying to put a "stop" to Aqua's revenge. What this means exactly is up in the air... since I doubt she's here to make it so Hikaru gets away scot free. She was willing to kill him herself for Aqua, after all, and hell... it seems like even Hikaru is willing to accept Aqua's revenge.

So it begs the question as to what "stopping" Aqua means in this regard. Is she just trying to stop him from "killing" Kamiki? Is she still planning to kill him herself to take that away from Aqua? What is my girl cooking?? Aqua's mental state aside I don't think you should want to help this guy, Akane.

But back to Hikaru... or actually, more specifically, the ending of the movie arc.

Yeah we sure did rush through this, didn't we? But honestly... I'm actually not complaining, but not because I didn't like this arc.

Because I think it makes sense that we've rushed through all of this. Because in the end, though this movie is possibly at least 90% accurate according to Akane... I think there's much more to this than what's been written in the script. What we've seen of Ai and Hikaru was all written as a story... and that's it.

We don't know how much of it is true.

I think that's why we've brushed past everything so quickly. Stuff like all the scenes we didn't see, Ai's rejection, etc etc... I think those were skipped because Aka isn't going to show us that through the context of a movie where we can't tell how much of it is really true.

I think we're leading up to seeing the details of Ai and Hikaru's relationship through Hikaru's own eyes, and that's why we've skipped so much.

...alternatively, the next chapters will include the parts of the movie we've missed out on seeing, but I think my idea is better, actually—

In any case, those are my thoughts. If it turns out that I got ANY of this even slightly right, I'm going to be reblogging this to hell and back. Let me into your headspace, Aka Akasaka.

#its so funny how brainworm-inducing oshi no ko is #like truly what an experience #regardless of how this story ends ill know i had a fantastic time lmao #oshi no ko #ruby hoshino #hikaru kamiki #aqua hoshino #akane kurokawa #ai hoshino #oshi no ko 147 #oshi no rambles #maybe i should ramble about my hyperfixations more...

[alarrytale]

I think we haven't gotten a statement of confirmation yet because it's early days and they are playing the long game. They might be gauging the reception in the fandom and gp to decide their next approach. They might want to be careful about it. Feeding deuxmoi and the tabloids will come soon enough, if that's where were heading.//

Harry been getting nth but praise and support from his fans for dating Taylor. She’s very popular on tiktok and the fans are obsessed. He will 100% confirm he’s dating her cause it makes him look good.

Everything he’s doing with this relationship is opposite with Olivia. He learned his mistakes on making a relationship too public.

1. No tabloids are talking about them. Instead of having the tabloids confirm the relationship.They will confirm their relationship from Vogue or fashion week.

2. No pap photos, not calling the paparazzis everyday

3. Picking a girl that’s opposite of Olivia. Artistic, young, no kids (no baggage), woc, not blonde, same age.

Taylor is the perfect PR girlfriend for Harry and with the fans loving her. His team is gonna push them everywhere but not in a annoying way like they did with Holivia

I’m already seeing fans call them Tom and Zendaya.

I'm going to answer these two ask together. And put it under the cut, because your asks are long, and my answer equally as long 😅

How is hshq going to end this pr relationship when Harries are so deeply invested in it. Theyre really into it and they worship the ground Taylor walks on. They seem way more invested in it than Harry's other pr relationships and they say she is the one and they're going to get married. Part of me wonders if this is a short stunt because Harry is being seen everyday either with her or in her clothes, connecting himself to her any way he can. Even now her dog. Because he's a walking billboard for her maybe theyre getting it over with quickly. I find it hard seeing him keep up this pace. Being seen every few days with her for months on end. But on the other hand they could be pushing it hard right now because London fashion week this month and Loewe is there, also her doing theatre. I can see it going for a long time too. Tying in with HS4 release next year maybe. Who knows. Harries love her and I wonder if they'll be pissed at Harry when it ends. Hshq might even keep it going as its a success. Tired of the gaslighting. We only ever see Harry when he's stunting.

Hi, the both of you!

This can all end tomorrow, in october after her show ends, or in two years. We don’t know what they've signed up to. We don’t know if they're going to keep it low key, or if they're going to be everywhere in our faces in a few weeks. She might be a regular winter gf. It's way too early to tell where any of this is going. I wouldn't think that harry is currently interested in another long term situation. He doesn’t like showmances and he's not good at it. He's low effort. If he's got projects lined up he might need to be single to enter other pr relationship with costars or something like that. He might just need to be tied to someone during ts tv release. Or tied up if they end bg (we wish!). We have no clue. He also needs to be careful about his own exposure. He's been long overexposed, and that leads to short fuses and critisism. A lot can also change in a short amount of time. Emrata lasted for 24 hours. Holivia wouldn't have lasted as long as it did if the movie wasn't delayed. Lots of factors play in to their decisions.

I also need to say that i don't think fan reception plays that big of a role in terms of ending or continuing stunts. Harries will worship the earth the gf walks on, every single time. This isn't any different from other beards. You should have been here during haylor. She already had a large fanbase. Imagine how annoying the harries were then. Or elounor in 2012, good lord. The TR hype isn't even close to that level yet. Ending it will be easy, they've done it many times before. Harries will stick to Harry, that's where their loyalty lies. Harries still loves TS after haylor (even after her dissing him) so i don't see why harries wouldn't still like TR after they break up (unless she's done something problematic during it).

I think we all need to just be patient and wait. We can't do anything to change the course of things either way. I'm so unfazed by this stunt (compared to others) I'm having a hard time relating to you who care so much or worry so much. I understand where you're coming from, but i can't relate. It might be because i'm currently so tired of his face and antics. At the end of the day it's just another stunt. It's number 35 (a made up number by me, but i can't be far off...). It could be way worse, it can evolve to be way worse, but we don’t know that yet. It can also end tomorrow. So try to not let it drain your energy. We'll be allright either way.

#also anon it was not her dog that was debunked #hussell for ts #number 35 #harry image #emrata for ts #elounor for ts #holivia for ts #haylor for ts

[floreceres]

REPLY 1988

They say... Reply 1988 is one of the best K-dramas ever made.

I say, CERTAINLY!!

First of all, can I just say that I haven't heard even one person say that they didn't like Reply 1988? Or if there is one, maybe they just hate feeling warm and good.

What made this drama hit all the right spots in my heart is its authenticity and relatable scenes! Since its theme is family, neighborhood, and friendship, I could feel what the characters feel and experience what they experience. There is no single character in the drama that I hated. All of them were lovable.

Onto the romantic side of the drama. Many people would disagree but I really liked how the ending turned out. From the first half of the drama, I already guessed that it was Taek that was going to end up with Deok-sun - and I'm glad it turned out that way. Although Jung Hwan (JH) and Deok-sun (DK) are also a really good match, DK deserves the love that is sure and never hesitates. JH had a lot of chances to prove his love to DK. He just doesn't have the courage. Meanwhile, Taek made sure to take every opportunity he gets. Which makes him, in my opinion, a better man for DK.

To be honest, I was just randomly scrolling through Netflix when I found this series. I actually had no idea what it is about until I decided to watch it. In the first episode, I thought I wouldn't like it since I got a little bored. Going further, I didn't realize that 1 episode had passed already! It's also a good strategy that they kept giving clues about the ending through the documentary or interview-type scenes that gave a glimpse of the future of the characters. That's one contributing factor as to why I got hooked on it.

Now that we've reached the end... Do I still need to type my rating or you've guessed it already? If you haven't, of course, my rating is none other than 11/10. It was a pleasant surprise for me. A hidden gem that I will forever treasure. When I think of Reply 1988, I think of home. Which is why I will always keep on coming back to it.

How about you? What can you say?

#kdrama review #reply 1988 #kdrama #Spotify

[dreamerinsilico]

for the end of year writing asks: F P O

What stories are you planning for the future?

*vibrates excitedly*

I've got two Sandman fics that are almost done, both Dream/Hob - a slightly silly, very nerdy, very porny kinkmeme fill and a self-indulgent hurt/comfort thing.

I signed up as a prospective author for a Hannibal 'zine recently, and if accepted, I've got a couple of ideas for that. The one that has the most traction, currently, is about Hannibal trying to exorcise his attachment to Will by more creative means than eating him.  (spoiler: it doesn’t work)

Other than that in Hannibal-land, I've got a post-canon longfic that's been sitting for two years that I direly want to get back to and finish, and if and only if I manage that, I've got a Hannibal-Wayward Children series crossover idea I've been percolating for over a year.

(Honestly... I probably ought to just go ahead and publish the little vignette I wrote as kind of a companion piece to the bigger idea. :P It's short, sweet, finished, and actually good. In case anyone following my tumblr actually knows both canons and cares, it's Hannibal's first therapy session with Jack Wolcott.)

What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?

I have several grammatical error pet peeves (lie/lay errors being the foremost, and unfortunately by-far most common, of those), but those just kind of make me sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, at most. English isn't everyone's first language, and even if it is, the current state of public education in at least my anglophone country leaves much to be desired. Certainly won't ruin a fic for me.

I think the biggest pet peeve otherwise, aside from various "I vehemently disagree with this characterization" sort of things (which I think we all run into at some point), is when a story goes into a lot of depth... or "depth".... about a subject that the author clearly has no clue about, either from practical experience or research. Fics that go into detail about cooking when it's clear the entirety of the author's knowledge of the subject comes from having watched one or two Gordon Ramsay shows. Fics prominently involving characters being college professors where the author knows absolutely nothing about academia from any perspective other than maybe having been a university student at some point. That kind of thing. I'm never going to tell anyone to only write what they know, but like. Either do the research, or handwave it. Don't go into detail and then get every single detail wrong.

Do you believe in outlines? Show us one! 

I do believe in outlines, for anything more complex than one or two scenes! First relatively concise one I found that isn't for something I haven't finished yet below the cut (because it's still kinda long) -

This is pretty condensed, because I wrote it both for myself and to share with @stylishanachronism because we were doing a collaboration for a Pillars of Eternity minibang event. It's for I Recall (stylishanachronism's art embedded <3).

The nutshell version of what this fic is exploring is: In the present-day, in terms of the game's timeline, the protagonist is face-to-face with the trapped soul of her lover from a previous life thousands of years ago. 99% of the fic is about that past life, and how the protagonist unwittingly betrayed the love of her life.

Events timeline

Iovara leaves the missionaries; Nephele is torn, but declines to go with her

Nephele thinks on Iovara often, sometimes struggles with the desire to leave and join

Thaos sends Nephele off to infiltrate, which she is simultaneously sick and overjoyed over.  General intent to fade into the heretics and go dark with Thaos.

Reunited!  Yay!

...and then Thaos personally tracks Nephele down.  Whoops.

Shit starts hitting the fan, and Nephele ends up suggesting going to Ossionus due to trusting That Asshole way too much

Iovara is captured by the Inquisition and events play out as we see in the game

Actual scene outline

Establish both directly and indirectly an existing relationship between Iovara and Nephele, and a bit about what that relationship is like.  Iovara tells Nephele what she has discovered, and that she intends to leave.  They part with mutual regret.

Flashbacks to earlier time with Iovara

Flashbacks to background with Thaos

Nephele is sent to infiltrate the heretics.  Flashbacks to angst and indecision in the time since Iovara left.  Emphasis on mixed but mostly-optimistic feelings Nephele has about this situation.

Nephele is brought to Iovara and baldly confesses she was sent as a spy/infiltrator.  Iovara is surprisingly (to everyone except Nephele) okay with this.  They get to be happy for a bit.  Nephele’s still not completely sure about this whole atheism thing, but it makes a scary amount of sense and she’s glad to be where she is.

Thaos pops up personally and makes a go at convincing her that the movement is Le Fucked, but he still cares about dear Iovara, and the only way to really salvage things is going to be getting Iovara’s people to go to Ossionus.

The trap is sprung, and they realize it too late.  Nephele starts going into “holy fuck this is my fault” mode; Iovara verbally slaps her out of it and tells her to live, and to remember.

Epilogue: modern-day Acantha in Sun-In-Shadow, face to face with Iovara’s spirit.  “I remember.”

#my fic #on fanfiction #thanks for memeing me! #mass-convergence #... damn i'm all up in my feelings about iovara again

[ralucasalmostgone]

I see you guys got obsessed with the word "life"

ugh, you have no clue how ubiquitous it is!

(see 'Life or something like it')

but I mean, I think you want a story with Marky Mark over there, dontcha?

well, I have told you a few stories so I guess this type couldn't hurt:

---

So I was talking to this friend in the labs about various things and then the conversation steered this way, to this marking thing the lecturers have got going on: that it's usually random but what can you expect from such a low tier University, right? It can't be helped that they can't possibly be bothered to get to know their students unless they're pretty - so they can use them on the prospectus.

And really how you need to understand WHY I've been harassed from the beginning by said lecturers in almost every single type of module!

But I don't show up on camera cause I'm like a vampire that way, so that's another secret I had to keep to myself.

And I'm extremely perceptive and honestly, as an extremely perceptive type I really HATE attention seeking people and then I just ignore them cause I hate them and then if they ever learn that they'll try to change their behaviour BUT they'll still be the same attention-seeking people anyway! (so there's no point in announcing it to them!)

So then I just proceed to be all action, no words that way anyway!

(I'm not lying, the behaviour annoys me to the highest degree! - maybe cause it has nothing in common with my own psychology and there's nothing wrong with me as a Lord. Sycophantic behaviour is for people that I 'beat up' as a Lord that kiss my ass better to stop beating them up, from my own POV! That's all I see!

I don't see bravery and I definitely don't find it normal either!)

SO

Continuing from here, I have this friend and he's telling me about how Marky Mark ruined someone's last average thing like so: there's a girl doing a presentation for the final year thingy (maybe) or a Master's presentation - not sure, cause it was a long time ago - and she's presenting and the room is overjoyed by the time it ends! The other lecturer that's marking (an ubiased party for once) wants to give her a high mark no matter what! But Marky Mark has such a different opinion, it lowered the overall mark through the averaging of the two lecturers and their respective marks (like giving the girl a 90 from one of the lecturers and 60 from Marky Mark). So get it?

And my friend was like..."but that was completely unfair! it was the best project I've ever seen! how could he do that?"

What? Like be so vindictive?

And then, I consulted with my feeds about all the strange psychological disordered stuff I witnessed too from said lecturers...

I have to admit, I haven't been used to an OBJECTIVE teacher since middle school (the last ones were there). In high school, the Math teacher was already giving me high grades based on my Latin knowledge instead of Math, so it was clear to me that everyone's turning unusually subjective about the marking thing and if I were to ever rely on teachers I'd be doomed from the start, not being able to assess myself whatsoever!

So I already knew that the lecturers weren't the type of teachers I have anything to discuss with so I didn't!

And they were BIASED from the beginning: they'd give you high marks just cause (even if your project sucked) or give the team leader that kisses asses better all the high marks (80 instead of 60) or they'd give stupid people - in general - whatever they wanted as long as they kissed their asses better (and on social media too) or shouted long and hard enough!

This was no environment for me to be my full self (you know, the one that's prone to doing that reincarnated thing where turns out I'm Omniscient). But luckily or intentionally, I was prepared since high school!

So I gave them no thought! [to the lecturers and their biased marking system!]

I just did whatever I wanted though. As usual.

And they awarded dumb people that ended up working in construction or in the middle of nowhere - unlike me who rules the world!

So I really didn't care even then!

But I gotta say, the less I cared, the more Marky Mark's issues showed up:

He just knew for a fact I knew he existed but honestly...outside of the obvious emotional turmoil he seemed to be going through (that I was perceiving fairly clearly), no, I didn't! Sorry to say that!

And not only that, but my unsuspecting younger self already classified his disorder as Grandiose Narcissism.

What she didn't have access to as a form of knowledge was also the fact that you can give it to someone FROM THE FUTURE! (because of future errors and mistakes of future individuals)

And my feeds agree:

there are two versions of this one too (and they're similar to the female Bipolar version):

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 8 Transcript: A Happily Married 4x Divorced New Boytoy Situationship

[Garageband version of Buddy Holly’s “Everyday” plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show too many times…

G: And somebody who only knows this show through Crystal discuss every single episode of Good Omens.

C: For today’s episode, we are discussing Season 2, Episode 2: “The Clue,” featuring the minisode “A Companion for Owls.” A companion to owls. Whatever. Who give a shit?

G: Yeah. This should have been titled "A Companion to Owls, featuring the minisode The Clue." Nothing happens. Barely anything in the fucking modern age happens. Like, everything was from the fucking Land of Uz, so.

C: Yeah. Sure fucking was. [G: Sure was!] Well, last time, you were not having a good time with the show [G, laughing: Love is real!], and I said, "You might like this one." What's your evaluation of what I said?

G: Love is real. That's my first evaluation. [C laughs] My second evaluation is, we are so back. We are so back! [C laughs] This season really is the era of being so Crover and being so back, and right now, we are so back. It's so good! It's a good episode!

C: I mean, if it’s going faster than a roller coaster, it can also be going up and down like a roller coaster.

G: Yeah. The entire time I was giggling, twirling my hair. I think everything that is introduced this episode, minus the Nina and Maggie stuff, was wonderful, both in the Job era and the modern era. Like, I think it's a great-

C: The modern too?

G: Yeah! I like the mystery. I like Gabriel. I like what they're doing with-

C: You like Gabriel??

G: [laughing] Neil Gaiman needs to fuck up so hard for me to end this season not completely enthused by the whole Gabeelzebub situation.

C: Yeah, I mean, well, maybe he will. So. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. You know, I know you told me that the ship name for that is Ineffable Bureaucracy, and I am saying "bureaucracy" multiple times this episode just to fuck you up when you're transcribing, but I do like- well, I mean, I like the whole combination name ship name for them.

C: What, which is Gabeelzebub?

G: In my notes, I wrote Beelzebriel, [laughs] which is so difficult to pronounce. That's why I'm not saying it. But written down, it's nice. [C: Sure, yeah.] It's cute. I am enthused by it, it must be known.

C: You haven't even seen them talk?

G: I do not give a shit. They have a theme song. They have a theme song! You know what? If you want to get me, if you want to get me invested in anything, give it a good song. Good song.

C: It is a good song, and it was in the trailer, and I spent like, months before the show dropped [G laughing] listening to the song, being like, “It's so great how Aziraphale and Crowley's love will come their way.” [laughing] And then I got fucked so hard.

G: Well, I just think it's cute that they have a theme song.

C: Yeah. Sure, man. Whatever. We'll see how Episode 6 goes. You'll probably be fine with it. I just think it's stupid.

G: Wait, so they get revealed in Episode 6?

C: Oh, goddammit! Why do I keep- [both laughing] ... No? No?

G: I think this is something that I actually do give a fuck about now. Like, it's acting! But the whole theme song thing is so cute. Like, it really is that shallow for me. Like, Gabriel, who tried to forget, who has forgotten everything and is working very hard to keep everything forgotten, like, just singing this and being like, "Yeah." [C: It's a catchy song.] Like, it's their fucking theme song. That's so cute! That's so cute.

C: Sure. [G laughs] I'll try to believe in love, but currently I don't. [G: I believe in love, always and forever.] I mean, I do believe in love for Aziraphale and Crowley forever and ever, especially in this episode, though, so I believe in some love.

G: You know what? Right now, I believe in love more for Gabriel and Beelzebub more than I do for Aziraphale and Crowley. [C: Wait! The whole minisode!] And you know what? I do not believe in love for Maggie and Nina at all. [C: Oh, not at all.] Not at all. Love is not real with that one.

C: Yeah. I really tried this week. I mean, you were in the Discord group chat where I announced that I was gonna try to read Maggie and Nina fics [G laughs] to like, finally get myself to care. [G laughing] And I couldn't do it. It couldn't- I couldn't do it. [G: I'm so sorry.] I tried three fics, and just yeah. It felt like there were fire ants crawling over my brain, [G laughing] and I was so bored and so unhappy. [G: I'm so sorry.] It's not- yeah, it's not happening.

G: Yeah. Oh, also, this is another one of those episodes where - I mean, to be fair, I didn't want to do it. Like, we were still - me and Crystal, we were still on the call, and I was like, “I'm not gonna watch this episode until the very last minute. I don't wanna see anything more of Season 2.”

C: "I hate Good Omens. I hate Aziraphale and I hate Crowley."

G: [laughing] I really was of that mindset. And Crystal was like, “Just check the first five minutes of the episode, and if you don't wanna continue watching, then don't until we have to record, but, like, just watch the first five minutes." And then I did, and then the fucking Land of Uz logo showed up, and I was like, "Okay, I'm watching this entire thing." [C laughing] God.

C: Yeah, wait, the listeners know about how the-

G: [overlapping] Our history with the Book of Job? [both laughing] Yeah. One of our- I think one of our very first conversations, like, actual, legitimate conversations, was about the Book of Job. [C: Was it really?] Like, I'm willing to bet. I'm willing to bet. Like, I feel like that is like, a substantial landmark in our friendship, [laughing] when we first started talking about the Book of Job.

C: Well, I don't rember that, [laughs] but perhaps so.

G: You know what- what's so funny? Like, I think we were talking about it, and then, like, the concept of like, where is it in the timeline of the Bible shows up. You said like, "Oh, it's like, the oldest thing in there. Like, of all the books in the Old Testament, like, it's the oldest one, so like, it happens like, way earlier than any other Old Testament book." And I was like, "Is that true?" And then I never checked, and you never convinced me. And you know what? I checked yesterday, and it's true.

C: Fuck yeah.

G: Also, I reread the entire Book of Job- like, the thing is, [laughing] I spent more time fucking reading and rereading the fucking Book of Job, like, fucking line analysis and stuff online, I spent more time doing that than actually thinking about this episode.

C: Oh, you were exegesising?

G: No, I don't know what that means.

C: Oh, it's like- an exegesis is like a "critical explanation or interpretation of a text," usually of Biblical works.

G: Hell yeah! Well, I guess I was.

C: I had to do one on the first eight verses of the Song of Songs [G laughs] in my like, Biblical literature class, and it really like, changed my life.

G: Yes. Congratulations. [C: Thank you.] Aziraphale and Crowley should read that to each other.

C: [laughs] Yeah. And they will in many, many fanfictions.

G: They will! For fucking real. Me, I am really into the Book of Job. It's like, I think it's the only book in the Bible that, like, I read in its entirety. Like, the text itself, from the Bible, I read in its entirety. Not like, verse by verse, or just a single chapter, or like, it was in the Gospel or in the liturgy in the mass and then I heard it. Like, I actually like, went out of my way to read it and stuff.

C: Yeah, the Song of Songs is that special little girl for me, but Book of Job's not bad.

G: Not bad! So yeah, I did reread the Book of Job, but I don't think anything substantial is gonna come out of it [both laugh] in this recording of the podcast, truly.

C: Well, you can compare the Bildad the Shuhite from the Book of Job to our lovely, precious Bildad the Shuhite in here.

G: For real. For fucking real. For fucking real. He makes shoes! - G: For this episode, the synopsis is: "Heaven and Hell are determined to find the missing angel. "

C: Not even who. Just "the missing angel," you know. That one.

G: Yeah. [laughs] "An overheard song provides Aziraphale with a Clue. Crowley and Aziraphale visit the pub to discuss ways that humans fall in love. While almost 5,000 years ago Crowley is sent to inflict punishments on the righteous Job, God’s favourite person, as Aziraphale learns at first hand about temptation [C: Crazy line.] and what Gabriel will and won't believe."

C: What do you mean "as Aziraphale learns firsthand about tempting"? Do you mean the food? [G: Yeah!] Is that all they're talking about?

G: But like, isn't the whole point of that that like, it's not like, a real temptation? He just chose to do that? [C: Well, yeah.] Are we supposed to read that as a whatever?

C: I don't know. [G laughs] All I know is I'm glad that after Aziraphale got his pervert moment during the apology dance, [G laughing] Crowley got to be as big of a pervert. That's- yeah.

G: Yeah. Last episode, as I said while editing it, really was a slut to pervert Aziraphale pipeline episode. [C laughs] And you know what? It was.

C: Yeah, good for him. Yeah. So we open in 2500 BC in the Land of- Uhz? Uz? [G: Uz.] One of those. [G: I don't know. Yeah.] It's a land. There's two letters in the name of it, and they're U and Z.

G: Yeah. This is so funny, because, like, wait, like, when we were watching this, I was watching it, and I was like, "Ugh. I don't wanna watch this." And then, like, when Crowley was talking to the goats, I immediately went, "Is this Book of Job?!" And you were like, "Mm-hm!" [C laughs] And then suddenly, like, everything in the world was beautiful. Everything was beautiful. Flowers everywhere, blah blah blah. Truly a moment.

C: Yeah. This is true. This did happen. We open on Crowley, who is sporting a look, for sure.

G: Truly a look. But no, I love it! I think it works fine.

C: You know, when the first screenshots of this minisode came out, everyone was clowning on Crowley for the goatee, but now that I've spent some time with them in this time period, it's like, yeah. Hello, beloved.

G: No, I think it's so nice!

C: They have very, very nice wavy hair. It's a little past shoulder length, and they're wearing like, this black and red headband, and like, these sort of goggle-looking sunglasses. And I think that the specific model of them- it's by Rigards, and the specific model is called the Nite Owl, so that's fun. There's this fuckass goatee on them, which, I mean.

G: It's so wonderful.

C: [laughing] If you say so. You know, I'm happy for them. I'm happy for them. They're trying something out.

G: Yeah. And you're happy that somebody is experiencing joy somewhere in the world, somewhere in the world.

C: Yeah, somewhere in the world. And they're wearing, like, these black robes with a red and black striped shawl over them or something. [G: Mm-hm.] Yeah, I do like the colors in the whole get-up. It's very fun. But yeah, they're like saying-

G: [laughing] I like this look more on Crowley than the modern day look. [C: I mean-] Well, not for this episode. This episode is amazing.

C: Yeah, the fucking. Yeah, no, the turtleneck really is crazy.

G: "Hello."

C: Yeah, oh god! [laughing] [both laughing] God, his pussy cunt slay is soo. Hiii. Anyway. So. [G: Hiii.] Hii. Hi. So, the camera's just focused on Crowley's face right now, and they're saying really dramatically, "You should know why you're about to die. God has abandoned you. The God who claims to love you, who demands your praise, has given you up to be destroyed," and then it zooms out, and they're talking to a goat! You can't kill kids.

G: You can't kill kids. For fucking real.

C: God bless. And I mean, you know, there's the obvious, you know, "who claims to love you, who demands your praise" is clearly- I mean, they're working through some things. [G: Yeah.] And they will continue working through some things. Like, you were so right when you were like, "The Fall is like if you thought your boss was your friend and then you got fired." [both laughing]

G: For fucking real!

C: Yeah. God literally claimed to love them as a coworker [G, laughing: And then fired their ass so hard and so raw.], but when they asked questions, She instead demanded their praise and then fired them. Hated their suggestion box idea so hard and so raw. You know, Crowley goes like, "Bad luck. Shall we begin?" And summons this big old fireball. But then- [both scream] Aziraphale shows up! [G: Aziraphale!! Aziraphale.] And he's like, in some kind of fucking light portal with like, spikes of crystal around it or something.

G: [giggling] Yeah. And he's doing the typical, like, hand in front, like in a- you know, like, Moses parting the sea kind of pose. And it's like, ahh, I love you, Aziraphale!

C: He looks great.

G: The outfit is so nice. [C: Yeah.] I love the outfit! [C: It's good.] 'Cause it's a- I don't know how to describe that outfit, actually. Is it a toga? Is that a reasonable thing to say?

C: No, ‘cause it has like, regular sleeves. I thought togas, were like, they had the sort of shoulder suspension-

G: Ah. Well, there's like, the whole sleeve part, but like, the front, is like, pleated like how a toga would be pleated. And also, like, the collar detail is amazing! Like, it's this gold-y bronze-y color that's like, a lace, and the sleeves are also lace-trimmed. Oh, it's wonderful! It's wonderful! I think it's amazing what the costuming department did this episode with the angels specifically. I think it's so cool.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale looks so beautiful

G: Like, that fucking pleating? The way the fucking fabric is folded? Like, that's so difficult to do! It's difficult to do! I think it's wonderful!

C: It's also cinched at the-

G: At the hips area, yeah.

C: Hips area, yeah, yeah. Very nice shape to it. He looks wonderful and beautiful. He goes- agh, you shouldn't have given me this scene. I can't do voices. This is a very voices-heavy scene.

G: [laughing] Avaunt! Aziraphale is just doing the whole, "Do not-!" What is that?

C: "Stay your hand, demon! Despised tool of Satan, [overlapping] in the almighty name of God, avaunt!"

G: Avaunt! And then just completely stops and is like, "Oh. It's you!" [laughing] They're so cute! One of them is so cute!

C: "Dear me." Yeah. His voice sounds sort of different in the [G: This episode?] minisode certain points, I think, especially during like, the funny bits. I'm not sure why. Maybe that's just a line delivery thing.

G: What do you mean?

C: I don't know. Does his voice not sound like, kinda odd on the like, "Ah, it's you! Dear me!" part. Like, I feel like he's using- the notes that his voice is on, if you transcribe them to a piano, the progression of the notes [G laughs] is different than his usual progression of the notes.

G: I mean, Aziraphale was a bit different, still, during this time.

C: Yeah. He was a bit different. And then he goes, "Haven't seen you since... Flood?" Which was in 3004 BC. So they haven't seen each other for 504 years! It's craazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.

G: I mean, it is reasonable to think of this as just the third time they're seeing each other. [C: Yeah.] Because we have established that the flood was the second time, so. My god. Well.

C: But I'm also surprised that they had this and then, during the Jesus thing, Crowley was still like, “Oh, you've come to gawk at the poor guy?” Like, hasn't Aziraphale proven himself already?

G: It was just banter. Maybe it's just banter.

C: It was not banter. [G laughs] Like, she was not having a good day that day, so I guess it could just be that.

G: I mean, to Crowley, it could be banter, and for Aziraphale, it's like, “I'm offended you would ever think that of me!” you know?

C: Maybe. I don't know. I just assume both of them were like, sort of grieving there, so there wasn't that much room for banter, but who knows? Who knows? You know, it really is just a job. [laughs]

G: It really is!

C: Aziraphale's just like, "Oh, sorry that I have to like, interrupt your whole thing." Like, "Oh, no, don't worry. Like, as you were. Go." And then Aziraphale goes back to the [G: Little stone side thing, yeah.] "Avaunt, foul demon" thing, yup, and Crowley just goes, "No." Aziraphale's like, "No?"

G: And the portal like, closes in, and everything. And it's like, "No?" [C laughs] And then Crowley goes, [both] "No... thank you?" He's so cute! [both giggling] Ahh! It is adorable.

C: Yeah. It's very, very cute. Crowley is like, "No. I have a permit. Here you go." And Aziraphale's like, "A permit? From whom?" Again, his voice is different, but it's funny, so it's fine. Crowley says it's from God, and he like, literally turns away and he's like, "Ah. You see, it's not that I mind jokes." [both laughing] He wants to be fun and fresh so bad. Crowley is like, "Yeah, no, I know that like, Job's like, God's favorite and everything, but no see, look, there's a scroll," and they unroll it, and it goes all the way around the valley. They're on a cliff, by the way. It goes all the way down and around the valley and back up again, so yeah. Fun enough visual gag. And the TL;DR is that "Satan and his diabolical ministers may destroy everything Job owns, no questions asked, hugs and kisses, God."

G: I mean, the whole permit thing, is of course, very interesting. Like, we have established last season that like, Hell still follows The Plan. Yeah, so like, this permit thing, I mean, I guess we didn't see the paperwork like, in Season 1, but like, it's fascinating to me that there's paperwork even for this kind of thing. Go fucking- Let's fucking go bureaucracy.

C: I think the vibe is probably just like, they need a permit because they feel like literally every single angel would be trying to kill them if they didn't have one, so it seems like more of like, an insurance thing [G: No, of course, yeah.] than having to follow the rules. But it is interesting. It is interesting. Also, on the "Satan and his diabolical ministers," Crowley does like, a whole like, "Whoops!" kind of shrug/wave on it. Agh. They're so cute. And Aziraphale is just like, "No! This can't be real!" He calls Job an absolute poppet. [G: Absolute poppet.] [both laugh] And he really is an absolute prophet. Crowley goes, "Well, I am a demon. Maybe I'm lying." which is something that continues throughout the episode.

G: Happens a lot, yeah.

C: Yeah. And I feel like it's interesting that Crowley is doing this self-identifying as a demon who lies thing nowadays because I feel like in the present day, like, it's like, Aziraphale who's doing this to Crowley. Like, you know, most notably at the end of Season 1, Episode 1 when Crowley says that he senses that the like, hellhound has found its master, etc etc. So like, yeah, Crowley started using it as a defense mechanism or whatever, and now Aziraphale's using it as a defense mechanism that is also mean. Sorry to both of you. Crowley's like, "Okay, let's see how it goes." And then fireballs all of the goats. And then goes- I don't know how to do the laugh. It's like, if you said "ho ho ho" but through breathing? [G laughs]

G: You know what? You may as well.

C: Yeah. And then "Seems legit to mee!" Aziraphale rushes up to Heaven and takes the scroll to Muriel! [G: Muriel!] Who looks so cute. Like, isn't- I know you said you liked their hair last episode. [G: Yeah.] But isn't their hair so much nicer here?

G: Well, I mean, I am endeared by present day Muriel.

C: Yeah. Well, I'm just glad that they have to wear a hat for the rest of the fucking season. [both laugh] Hair and makeup saw what they did, and they were like, "Oh, no." They also have like, a robe that's sort of similar to Aziraphale's. I mean, all of the angles have slightly different looks with like, the gold trim on their robes, but it's still the same vibe. They tell Aziraphale about how there was a bet where, you know, God was saying how righteous Job was, and Satan pointed out that's just because God's been so nice to him. Aziraphale seems very shocked that God and Satan were like, chatting at all, I suppose. [G: Yeah.] Sorry, Aziraphale. But yeah, "God's letting Satan destroy everything Job has, and then we'll see."

G: I mean, don't you find it fascinating that in Good Omens, Crowley makes references to the Nazis going to Hell, so we know that people go to Hell. Like, that is the thing that happens. Oh, I was- Never mind, then. There's also references to people going to Heaven. I completely forgor. It's the- in the musicians.

C: Heaven has Liszt, but all the musicians are- yeah, blah blah blah. Or, does Heaven have Liszt? I forgot which composer Heaven has.

G: No, I was just gonna bring up that like, in the Old Testament like, you know, Heaven and Hell is not really a thing. Like, the concept of Heaven is more of "that's where God hangs out." It's not like, somewhere people go. So I was wondering about that this episode, because, like, they bring up Hell a lot, right? I mean, obviously, 'cause there's the whole like, [dramatically miserable] "I'm gonna go to Hell. Take me to Hell now." [both laughing] portion, which is the funniest thing that's ever happened. I'm so sorry. I know Crowley is crying and is so miserable [C: Aziraphale?] but it's so funny. [G laughs] Yeah. [C laughs] Aziraphale is crying and is so miserable. The Satan/God relationship is interesting, because, like, also, like, the way Good Omens presents it, it's almost like they're equals [C: Yeah.], yeah, which, interesting thing.

C: Interesting thing.

G: Like, why is Satan so much more powerful than Gabriel and Michael and Uriel, who are in the lore, right- [C: Also archangels?] Yeah, like, they're supposed to be of equal power.

C: Well, he's a big old red thing and everything. [G: Yeah.] I don't know. I don't think Falling imbues you with powers or anything. No clue, no clue. Aziraphale's not happy about this, but he's like, clearly just looking for reassurance. He's like, "Okay. But like, they're just taking like, his worldly goods?" And Muriel's like, "Yeah, nothing important, no! Just his farm, his camels, his goat, his oxen, his children, his geese." And Aziraphale’s like, "His fucking what?"

G: And Muriel goes, "His geese!" [laughing] And does this little geese motion.

C: Yeah. "Big cross ducks" and yeah does this wings waddling/flapping thing.

G: You know how like, in Season 1, I said that like, if Crowley, and like, one Eric met up, like, maybe they would have been friends. Like, I think Muriel and Aziraphale, if they just spent some more time together, I think they would be friends! And like, the thing is, we talk constantly about how like, Crowley is not like the demons. Like, they're very different from their lot. Like, Aziraphale, you know, not like the angels, all that. But, like, most of what we see of the angels and the demons are like, their bosses. [C: Right. Yes.] These are like, the higher-ups. Like, of course, they're gonna be- they're like, you know, we said one time that like, they're supposed to be loser employees that their bosses hate so much it's unreal. [C laughs] Of course they're gonna be different from their bosses. But like, maybe they are similar to the other employees that the bosses hate so much it's unreal, you know?

C: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, Shax is in Crowley's former position, and I feel like- I mean, they don't get along, but like, they can have a conversation, at least.

G: Yeah, that's true.

C: Yeah. Muriel's so cute.

G: Muriel!

C: Muriel! And Aziraphale has already run off to ask the archangels about this. God. How did he keep- This all happened in, what? Like, 2500 BC? And he still was like that all the way up until the Apocalypse?

G: Yeah. [both laugh] No, it's so fucking funny.

C: He's just been running around the same spirals for like, thousands of years. Like, alright girl. Right. I guess the archangels are also in the same sort of robe get-ups [G: Yeah!], and Gabriel has like, [both] longer hair, which I think is pretty fun. But, you know. Michael's all like, "Oh, yeah, just trust in God's plan, you know? Everything's good." And Aziraphale’s just like, "Oh, yeah, no, everything's okay, 'cause like, everything that he loses, after the trials are over, like, he's gonna get everything back?" And they say that he's gonna get twice as much as he had before: twice the oxen, twice the goats, twice the children! And Aziraphale is very shocked at the "twice the children" part. And yeah, I feel like just these two exchanges are both where like, because he's been on Earth and like, has interacted with people, he just keeps assuming that humans and children will be put in a separate category than like, objects or animals or belongings, because, like, those are like, real people to him. But the archangels like, just don't think like that. Sorry, girl.

G: It does present like, an interesting thing, because, like, the whole argument God has for Job, right, is that "You don't understand what it's like to build the universe" and all that crap. Like, "Were you there when etc etc?" Like, the whole point of God is "You don't understand what it is like to be God," but like, looking at this, like, the angels don't understand what it's like to be human. Does God? [C: Yeah.] And it's like, that is the crux of the situation

C: Yeah, and also, Michael says it's probably gonna be seven children, not six, because God likes sevens. Aziraphale automatically assumes that they're going to make Sitis give birth to all of the kids, which would not be my assumption. 'Cause it's not like, I feel like if they're doubling the goats, they would just miracle goats to appear. They wouldn't like, run over to like, a nearby goat and make that goat birth like, 400 goats, you know? [G: Yeah.] But I guess that is the plan, so, I don't know. Maybe something like this has happened before.

G: Also, I wanna point out, I like that they named the wife.

C: Yeah, 'cause she's not named in the-

G: She's not named in the book, yeah. Sitis.

C: He's worried about her because she's 58, and like, yeah, "Are we sure that she wants to give birth four more times?" Oh, also, Gabriel's like, "Oh, I know everything about like, human birth, because I saw Eve's creation, so like, yeah." And it's something he's very proud about throughout the episode. Good for him. But yeah, when Aziraphale asks, "Are we sure that Sitis wants to give birth four more times?" Michael goes like, "No. Seven more times. 'Cause the three children that she already has will be dead. Keep up!" And, I mean, you know, the angels are all laughing at Aziraphale like he's so stupid, blah blah blah. And Aziraphale is just like, "I think they they quite like the old ones!" [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] Like, "If we kill them-" But Gabriel is like, "No, no, we're the good guys. We're not killing anyone. What we're doing is simply not stopping Hell." which is literally what Armageddon was. And yet. And yet Aziraphale was still the same. Alright. I mean, I feel like this is- All the minisodes feel like they were written after Season 1, which they were, and this is definitely that vibe. But like, I'll mostly let it slide because it's good and I like it, so there. And this scene is quite good in that like- Like, imagine the only people you could be honest with regarding how you're like, immortal, and have all these experiences and knowledge is like, your bosses in Heaven, and every time they're up there they make you feel like completely untethered from reality because their opinions and worldview are like, so so different from yours, that, like, you just- Like, they're laughing at him. They're like, "You're so dumb. What are you even talking about?" Like, it is hard to hold on to your own beliefs if, like, that is the only feedback from the outside that you're getting about those beliefs. Like, I'm sure that, at times, Aziraphale’s like, “Well, maybe I am the one who's wrong.” And then the whole cycle continues. [G: Yeah.] But like, agh. It's soo- llike, it's been 500 years since he's seen Crowley, who's like, the only one who, like, maybe, has similar opinions to him, and like, knows that he's an angel, and like, the last time that you saw her, like, it was the flood, and you know that, like, she actually understands like, what children are and what like, humans are and what child-parent bonds are like, and like, she values life in a way the other angels never have, and then you like, sit with them on a rock at the end of the day. Ah!

G: Yeah, I mean, we talk constantly about, you know, "Aziraphale and Crowley are literally 'I'll Be Your Mirror' by The Velvet Underground." But like, literally, though! It's about how like, somebody to tell you you're not crazy. Like, this is it, right? Like, Misha Collins voice, "You're not crazy.

C: [overlapping] Your special little Misha Collins.

G: [laughing] Exactly. So good. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] I wuv them.

C: Yeah. And someone to sit in your chair and ruin your sleep, but that comes later. [G: Yeah.] [makes pained sound] - G: We go back to present day. Gabriel has - if I remember correctly, Gabriel still wasn't in an outfit last episode, right?

C: Yeah, he ended it in a towel, but now he is dressed.

G: Yeah, he's in an outfit! And I really like this outfit. So he's wearing like, trousers, white shirt, and then like, a vest. A knitted vest. Is that true? Is it a knitted vest? I think it's a knitted vest. And a coat, just like Aziraphale's. But specifically, what I really like is that the white shirt is not purely white, it's patterned, and the pattern like, curls up to the collar in the front of the collar in his right side, and I think it looks great! I love a pattern. As I said, I love the costuming this episode. I think it's great. And Gabriel's outfit, I think it's wonderful.

G: Yeah, well, I'd say before Gabriel appears, I am- Okay, 'cause it goes to the present day, and it goes to Aziraphale just sort of standing there, like, contemplatively. So like, we're meant to think that like, the minisodes, this is Aziraphale standing and thinking about this. [G: Oh, yeah yeah yeah.] So it's like, I wonder what caused him to think about this. 'Cause later, when we go back to Job, it's because [G: Yeah, there's an obvious reason.] Gabriel says something. Yeah. But like, what's he thinking about now? Like, why is this happening now? And also, what purpose does this minisode serve within the modern day story, like, at this time in Aziraphale’s life?

G: Yeah. Interesting question. It really is interesting how like, in Episode 3, when the backstories were happening, you were like, "What purpose does this serve to the recent day happenings?"

C: Oh yeah, I've rewatched Episode 3 since then. I think the answer is just so that the weight of their history is felt so the weight of the breakup is felt. Like, I feel like if we didn't see that, Crowley's "How long have we been friends? 6000 years." would have been like [G: Means nothing, yeah.], "Yeah, okay. I don't know what that is." But like, yeah, I think that's what it was mostly. But yes, continue?

G: Yeah. But no, it's fascinating to me, because I do not tend to think of it that way. [laughs] And like, when you asked me that, that was the first time I thought, "Oh, yeah!" Like, [both laughing] "There is a point to this fucking story." Also, right now, this is the first time I'm thinking, "Oh, yeah, there is a point to telling this story other than just to tell it." Like, it is supposed to supplement the season’s happenings. Actually, that's a very interesting question. Like, even after this episode, do you find a reason why the Job story specifically is to be told?

C: It's- I mean, the part Aziraphale says out loud later is just like, "Man. Gabriel, you used to fucking suck." [laughs] Like-

G: But that's not even like, the main point of the episode. I mean, that's not the main point of the whole story of the Job situation.

C: Yeah. I'm not really certain. I guess since the Apocalypse, this is like, the first time Heaven’s really returned to Aziraphale’s life, so it's the first time he's actually really had to think about like, thwarting Heaven again. So like, maybe it's just-

G: So like, it's a flashback to the first time that happened.

C: Yeah, thinking back to the first time it happened. [G: Yeah.] And how it was nice to have Crowley with him because, yeah, being on your own side is lonely, but I guess they are now on each other's side, etc etc. I don't know. Maybe it is just randomly wedged in here. Who knows? Like, the fact that they call it a minisode instead of having it be a flashback sort of seems to mean that they want it to be like, viewed mostly separately.

G: As I said, Gabriel walks in and like, startles Aziraphale and asks like, "What comes after K in the alphabet?" And Aziraphale is like, "Jesus Christ, can you like, make a noise the next time you're moving around? You're fucking startling me!" And, you know, Aziraphale says, "Oh, the next letter is L. What the hell are you doing?" And Gabriel's like, "I'm arranging the books to make it easier to find in alphabetical order! By the first letter of the first sentence."

C: Fun fact about that. Remember, I told you how like, fucking Amazon Prime, as part of the promo for Good Omens, made character playlists for Aziraphale and Crowley? [G: Yeah?] Each of them were 9 songs each, and if you look at the first letter of the first lyric of each of the songs, Aziraphale’s spelled out “ineffable” and Crowley’s spelled out “tempting.”

G: [laughing] That's so corny, but I really like that.

C: Or, I guess it was 8 letters for Crowley's, then, because that's an 8 letter word. But yeah. But yeah. [G: That's cute!] And "Take Me to Church" was the M for "My lover's got humor" for Crowley, so.

G: Aziraphale is like, "Wait! What are you doing? Nobody would ever-" and then realized that, "Actually, this is really good for business, [C laughs] aka not business, because I don't want to sell any books." So he's like, "Okay, that's great! Good idea! Carry on!" And Gabriel, in response to Aziraphale saying that he should like, make a sound every time he moves, just starts making like, randomass noises, and Aziraphale's like, "Please don't do that." And then he changes the noise, and Aziraphale's like, "Not that either!" So what eventually he settles on is singing "Everyday."

C: It's a-getting closer.

G: It's a-getting closer. [C hums "Everyday"] I mean, isn't so fucking odd that, like, Aziraphale sings a different part for Maggie later?

C: Well, it's him misremembering the lyrics, and I do have like, an analysis- [laughs] Not an analysis. [G: Okay, fine.] I do have thoughts about the ways he's misremembered them.

G: Okay. Well, it's cute. I have said earlier that I think it's cute that they have a theme song, and I like that like, the fucking jukebox situation is happening. I think it's super cute.

C: Yeah. It's interesting 'cause you're going in knowing that like, the like, Ineffable Bureaucracy thing is happening, yeah, whereas I went in with no knowledge about any of that whatsoever. [G: Yes.] And, I mean, it was really funny when it happened [G laughs] because it's like, "Wow. He really made that crackship canon."

G: Well, to me it's a bit important, so.

C: Okay, yeah. I guess they do have a theme song, so that could matter.

G: They have a theme song.

C: Yeah. This is, according to Spotify stats, my most played song of all time.

G: Is it?

C: And it is just because of the time between the trailer and the show when I found out it wasn't even for the people I cared about. [G laughs] I think that's why I'm so bitter.

G: But isn't like, your top three like a fucking David Tennant-

C: [laughing] Don't you- I- No-! - G: We go to the Bentley, and Crowley is sleeping, right?

C: Yeah. And doesn't look comfortable at all. Like, asleep in the front seat, but like, can't lie down, so it's just sort of leaning back with like, arms crossed over stomach. [G: Yeah!] Like, she has to have a crick in her neck. It's so sad. [G: Yeah.] And he's sleeping with his sunglasses on, I suppose, to block out the light, 'cause there's not even like, curtains, or even tinted windows in the car. Like, he spent so long fearing the Heaven and Hell surveillance state, and now, they have to live in a place that doesn't even have coverings over the fucking windows. It's so bad.

G: It is. Sorry, Crowley. Shax knocks on the door. Informs Crowley he's in trouble. And Crowley is like, you know, "Former demon." I like that! Former demon. [C: It's a job title.] "Hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell." Does Aziraphale think of himself as a former angel? I don't think so. [C: Probably not.] The whole identity versus job situation. I mean, we're going to talk about it, I'm sure, by the end of this episode because of what happens with Aziraphale.

C: But maybe "former demon" is also keeping up the holy water ruse, for like, Hell and things.

G: Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that.

C: Because they think he was like, a demon/angel/human hybrid thing now, so.

G: You know, I severely cut that episode. I cut- [laughing]

C: Yes, [laughing] I was very sad at the line you said that you cut out.

G: You know what? What if we say it here and then the people can know.

C: Do it. Yeah.

G: [laughing] Wait, no, I'm embarrassed to say.

C: Okay, fine. Grey said, "What if they didn't body swap? What if they came in each other so raw and so hard that they're now immune to holy water and hellfire?"

G: Yeah, because of the come. so. Wonderful. What if?

C: Because of the come. What if?

G: What if? Shax informs Crowley that, and Crowley says, like, "Oh, how will our hero cope?"

C: So fun. So cute. [G: Yeah!] I love that they're trying to romanticize and fictionalize their life, like, yeah, haven't we all been there?

G: And Shax is like, continuing the whole like, doesn't know when Crowley's being sarcastic situation. But, you know, she's catching up! She gets that this is a joke. And she asks to come in, but you know, doesn't actually, she just comes in anyway.

C: Yeah. In Aziraphale's seat.

G: She says that she has spoken to Beelzebub, who believes that Aziraphale has something to do with the Gabriel situation, and also that a miracle of enormous power happened last night close to-

C: - "your friend’s bookshop." She says, "your friend's." Interesting.

G: Yeah. And she says that it's a kind of miracle only the mightiest of archangels could have performed. And at this point, I go "Boo!" because I am- I mean, I don't really give a shit about the Raph- No, actually, I do give a shit. [C laughs] But, like, you know. I don't like it.

C: I don't like it either.

G: The whole Crowley used to be Raphael, blah blah blah. It doesn't make any sense?

C: I mean, isn't Raphael the archangel of healing or whatever? Crowley's show no aptitude for that. Though I don't know what the other angels are archangels of and if they've shown aptitude for those things, so. Right. We were talking about if they were trying to push an archangel Crowley sort of situation.

G: Yeah. And well, were they?

C: I can't- I don't know. I hope they aren't, but I don't know. I hope they aren't!

G: Well, I hope they aren't also.

C: Yeah. I think that it's just that the double miracle has some kind of a power.

G: Yeah. It's just the power of love.

C: Yeah, 'cause it's like, Crowley's solo miracles aren't like, so powerful that, like, they set off alarms in Heaven or Hell, so I don't see why this would-

G: I mean, we already had power of positive thinking last season, why can't we have power of love this season?

C: Yeah, exactly. But I also like that Shax says "your friend's bookshop," 'cause earlier she was calling Aziraphale Crowley's contact. [G: "Your associate," yeah.] And I think that it seems like both Shax and Hastur pull out the friend card when they're being threatening. So, fun.

G: Yeah. And you know, she says, like, "Are you saying you don't know anything about this?" And Crowley actually says, like, "Well, how do you know I didn't do it?" which is fun. 'Cause I mean, they already think that he's like, some demon/human hybrid, like, a powerful being that can't be holy-fired. [C: Water.] So like, it's not such a leap to think that Crowley is also capable of this. [C: Yeah.] And Shax threatens her to hell and back, and by hell and back, I do mean like, "Disliked by Heaven, hunted and eliminated by Hell." And, you know. Fun stuff!

C: Everybody hate them and want them to die, but not God, [both] She said, "Faggot, you will live forever." [laughs]

G: Exactly.

C: Oh, also, the minisode was completely written by John Finnemore. I think Neil Gaiman had no involvement whatsoever. [G: Slay.] So that's a fun fact for you.

G: So like, are all the-

C: Minisodes are written by other people. The next one's written by Cat Clarke, and then I forgot who wrote the last one. - C:  We go to the record shop. Aziraphale comes in. Yeah, Maggie's in another great outfit. Like, I think the colors coordinate very well. At least she has one good thing going for her. And Aziraphale's come in so that he can ask her about the song that Gabriel was singing, and he sings it out loud for her, and it's- Oh my god! He's so cute! He like, does his fucking like, conducting hand gesture to like, count out a measure first. [G: Yeah!] And then-

G: No, but like, he also does it later for Crowley when he sings it for Crowley. [C: Yeah! Ah!] And I think it's the sweetest thing! [C screams] Like, he literally counts "1, 2," in his head, and it's so cute. [C: Yeah!] So cute.

C: Yeah, and he keeps conducting himself while he's singing here, too, it's adorable! It's so good! I mean, do we think there's choir practice in Heaven? [G laughs] Like, Crowley mentions like, having to listen to celestial harmonies [G: "Celestial harmonies."], so like, is this the habit picked up from choir practice? I love Aziraphale so much!

G: What if Aziraphale had a harp? Like, have we considered?

C: What if? So yeah, he misremembers the lyrics as "Every day, it's a-getting stronger" and then "Love like that will surely come my way." So yeah, Gabriel's saying, "It's a-getting closer," so that's a misremembrance, but the song does have "stronger" in another line, but that line is "Every day seems a little longer / Every way love's a little stronger." And also, like, the second line's supposed to be "Love like yours will surely come my way," but he misremembers it as "love like that," so like, both of the misrememberings are like- the first one is like, taking love out of the line and making it into like, a general it and the second one is changing "love like yours" to "love like that," so both of them are about like, being less specific and less love-related, which is interesting to me. It means nothing, but it also means everything to me.

G: What are you talking about that in the first line, it removes love?

C: Oh, like, if we're thinking of it as a "every way love's a little stronger" misremembrance instead of a "it's a-getting closer" misremembrance. But it is- [G: Well, it's a "getting closer-"] yeah, it's a "getting closer" misremembrance. Yeah.

C: But you know what? It already means nothing, [laughing] so changing it back to that also means nothing. [laughing]

C: It already means nothing, yeah. And no matter what, it will mean everything... to me. And then Maggie just immediately starts randomly crying.

G: What is this? Why are you crying?

C: Was she just standing here waiting for an excuse to cry at someone? Like, why would this be what causes her to start crying? Like, if she was gonna cry, wouldn't she have done it like, earlier, by herself? Like, it's not like the song is so romantic that it reminds her of Nina and then she starts crying, right? Like, that's not what's happening?

G: I think that's what we're supposed to assume is happening.

C: We are?

G: I think, yeah.

C: Well, that's stupid.

G: I think it's stupid, too.

C: Yeah. Yeah. And they do a little better job with like, putting actual water like, on her lashes, or whatever for this one. But it's still not that good.

G: I mean, at least Aziraphale's was pretty fun!

C: Yeah, at least Aziraphale’s reaction was pretty fun, but I just, they've had Maggie cry in both of the episodes that she's in so far, and like, she's not very good at it! [laughs] Like, she's not very good at crying.

G: Yeah, but, like, you know, it's not supposed to be a cry that's like, moving in that way.

C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she moves on really fast. Like, her voice is barely affected afterwards. Yeah, and she tells Aziraphale, "Oh, no, I'm not crying." [laughing] And Aziraphale goes, "Do you actually think you aren't? Because I-" [both laugh] Which is soo-

G: He motions towards his face in like, a teary motion, and it's so- [C: Yeah.] For fucking real.

C: I'm not being fair to Maggie. Like, I'm trying. Like, I went and replayed this whole scene but like, tried to pretend that, like, Maggie, was like, a friend that I already cared about to try to see if, like, that could get me to be nicer, and like, it worked for like, a second where I was like, "Oh, no, friend, I've already decided to care about! Why are you crying?" But then after like, a minute, it was like, "No, I can't do this." [laughs] I just- I don't know. The way she reacts to things is just- we wouldn't be compatible as friends. I just don't understand her as a person or like her very much, even though she's done nothing wrong. So she says- well, Aziraphale asks, "May I ask you why you are...n't crying?" And Maggie just- like, I just don't think a person would say this. [G: Yeah.] She goes, "Well, I'm certainly not crying over her." and points at Nina across the street. Like, okay? [laughs] Like, okay.

G: It's so contrived.

C: And she does like, some dumb exposition thing that like, just doesn't feel natural where she's like, "I mean, sure, it took me months to nerve myself up to even bring her an LP, and then absolutely, we got locked in the coffee shop last night, and granted, I then made a complete ass of myself, and she already has a partner." And okay, so we're meant to think that she's been into her for months. [G: Yeah!] And she didn't know her name until yesterday.

G: Oh my god!

C: Like, what is this? [G: What is this?] I just, what is this? [G: What is this?] It's not that I don't think that it's impossible in that, you know, it's a pretty common practice to develop a workplace crush in order in order to cope. If you're the boss and you don't have any employees-

G: [laughs] Common practice for you. [C laughs]

C: No, okay, no, it's not just me, 'cause I was talking to my other friend, [G laughing] who's recently started work, and she said she's been scouting for a workplace crush to focus on instead of work as well. [G laughing] I think it's like a thing! I think it is a thing.

G: God, that's true! Maybe!

C: Like, sometimes you don't like your job, and you need a distraction. [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] So anyway, so yeah, again, so, you know, she doesn't have a a person in her workplace to develop a crush on, but like, she can look outside of her door and windows across the street, and Nina's like, a pretty person. So like, I understand just like, sort of sitting there in your shop-

G: But would you call that pining? [C: What?] But would you call it pining? Would you call it pining?

C: I would not call it pining. [G: Exactly.] I would call it wanting a distraction from the workday. And I think that that is what this is, but like, the show's treating it like it's real.

G: Yeah!

C: Like, you want a distraction from your work, so you look across the street at like, the pretty woman over there, and you decide to fantasize and like, imbue all of her actions and gestures with meaning that they don't actually have. Like, okay. Cool. Sure. That's a real thing. The show is not engaging with it like that's the situation. The show's engaging with it like this is like, actual love, or something. [G: Yeah.] Like, well, it's not [laughs], so. It isn't. God, I'm so mean! I'm so mean!

G: I don't think it's that mean. 'Cause I agree with it. [both laugh]

C: Well, we're both haters, so. [G laughs]

G: Exactly.

C: When she mentions getting locked in the coffee shop, Aziraphale does turn a bit and do a bit of a, "Oh?" sort of face, which is fun.

G: Yeah. That man has read fanfiction. [C laughs] You know what? Perhaps even written it.

C: Perhaps even written it. And then- and then she says, "But apart from that, I'm pretty sure I'm in love." Um, no.

G: It's so stupid! It's so stupid.

C: No, you're not. Like, you aren't, though, so, you're not.

G: No, you're not! It's so- I feel like love at first sight, which I do think is a thing, needs like, that mutual connection to work. You can't have someone be like, "Ugh, your business is terrible. And also, go away." [both laughing] Like, you can't be like, "We're in love!" [both laughing] Like, I don't think it works like that, you guys.

C: Yeah. And I don't know. Like, Nina has- there are things that are quite likable about Nina, like, last episode. Like, I think that her sentences about the record shop are objectively funny. But Maggie didn't seem to be charmed by like, any of it. Like, I didn't see her feelings for Nina shifting in any way. [G: Yeah.] It just seems like a, "Well, I already decided I was into you, and now I'm just gonna be here." So, I don't know. Annoying as shit. Ugh, I'm worried that like, first, I sound like a ninth grader who makes fun of Romeo & Juliet for killing themselves, and second, that I'm not giving them the like, grace I give Aziraphale and Crowley because of anything, but like, Aziraphale and Crowley are in love, and they're not [G laughs], so like, how can I help that that is the situation?

G: Yeah. I mean, Maggie owns a record shop, and they don't even have a theme song! Like, come on!

C: Exactly. Exactly. [G: First rule of making a good romance!] And it's like, I believe that Aziraphale and Crowley had a connection at like, first sight, because it's like, an important moment in their lives. Like the whole Garden of Eden thing just happened, and both of them are like, grappling with, like, what they're supposed to do with themselves in this strange new world, and like, they are finding company in each other, and also like, a good conversation partner to bounce ideas off of. Like, that's something. What did Maggie and Nina even talk about? Nothing! Nothing at all! Like, you guys don't know or respect each other at all! Like, Maggie, you're just depressed and have no friends! Like, find something else to do with your time.

G: Yeah, take up knitting.

C: Yeah, literally just take up knitting. Or like, get on the fucking apps or something if you want love that bad, but like, love like that is not coming your way [G laughs] across the street from Nina's coffee shop!

G: Exactly.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale gives a bit of an indulgent smile at the "in love" thing. Like, yeah, okay. Good for him. He and Crowley need to be Conan Gray “Crush Culture” so bad.

G: You know, you keep on referencing that- [laughing] sorry, I sound absolutely horrible-

C: It's just the- The main thing is just that in the music video, like, he's going around hating love so much, and he comes across a bunch of straight couples on dates, and he like, smashes up their picnic tables, and there's one point where he comes across a lesbian couple, and he's like, coming closer with the bat, [laughing] and then he's like, "No, actually, you guys are fine," [G laughs] and then he continues on his way. She also says that Nina hates her, which, like, she fucking does, [G: Yeah, she does.] so like, leave her alone. The end. And she's like, "What am I gonna do?" Like, nothing. Take up knitting like we just told you. Why didn't you hear that? Aziraphale's been looking anxiously across the street the whole time, and like, I thought it's 'cause the angels already arrived. [G: No.] But like, it's not like. He's just been looking at Nina the whole time. I don't get it. Why would he do that? Or, I mean, maybe he's just worried 'cause he's leaving his shop alone, which that tracks, too. He says, "Can I get back to you on that? I think right now, I'm a bit out of miracles." And later, he and Crowley have a discussion where it's like, okay, so like, here, it literally seems like he was like, "If I had a miracle, I would just force her to fall in love with you!" But later, he says that that's not how miracles work, so I guess that's not-

G: But he does do a miracle later!

C: What miracle?

G: He gets the guy out of that seat?

C: He does. Yeah. This whole thing is very inconsistent.

G: 'Cause last episode, we talked about how like, they're not allowed to do miracles. Well, I think they are.

C: Yeah, I mean, Crowley is 'cause [G: Is, yeah.] she just said, like, "I don't want to get Hell's attention with something too big" or whatever, but Aziraphale was acting like he couldn't at all. But like, he did, so what's the deal with that? Well, I'm really glad miracles don't work that way, 'cause like, it seems like at least Crowley would not have any ethical qualms with doing that if miracles did work that way, which is pretty fucked in the head of him, I have to say. [G: Have to say!] But I guess we'll get to that when they discuss it in the pub. But yeah, Maggie says, "Okay, like, whatever. I'm over it." So the song is "Everyday" by Buddy Holly and Norman Petty, and she has a bunch of copies of it because there's this pub in Edinburgh that she sends some records for their jukebox, and all them turn into "Everyday," no matter what. And she says that "That's mad, but they're Scottish, so..." which is very annoying. Like, can British writers stop pulling this shit? Like, it happens in Doctor Who all the time. too. Like, sorry that you like, don't want them to be independent? Like, I don't know what you're going for here.

G: What? What are you talking about?

C: Oh, no, just, I feel like a lot of British writing, like, they throw in jokes about just like, Scottish people are crazy, and like, it does feel like a “We wanna keep them in the empire” [both laugh] [G: Okay.] thing every time it happens. [G: Okay.] I mean, maybe it's just because I’m reminded mostly of like, a joke in Doctor Who where like, everyone on Earth had to- all the countries had to get into spaceships because the earth exploded, and there's like, "Oh, yeah, and the Scottish one has their own spaceship, but they keep trying to declare independence from each other," blah blah blah. But yeah. Whateber. The pub is called The Resurrectionist, and it's on like, 66, like, Goat Lane, or something like that. I don't know. And then Aziraphale hears a trumpet, which means that the angels are coming. - G: We see that there are angels coming up to the bookshop, and it's Michael, Uriel, and Saraqael. And, you know, Aziraphale as bolting to the fucking bookshop [C: Doing a gay little speedwalk.], greets them by the door, say hi and everything. Are we to assume that this is the first time Aziraphale is seeing these people again?

C: I think so.

G: And, you know, they say, "I think you know why we're here. We're looking for..." and then Gabriel shows up behind, and he's, you know, very jolly, very ecstatic. Goes like, "Greetings. I'm Jim. Short for James, but I don't need to keep telling everyone that. I'm an assistant bookseller!" Which is so cute.

C: Do you think Gabriel's like, funny this episode?

G: Oh, yeah!

C: I don't think he's any less annoying than he was last episode.

G: He is pretty annoying, but you know what? That scene later- I'll say the scene when it comes. But, like, there is a scene this episode where every time I watched this episode, I laughed out loud at it, which is pretty impressive!

C: Okay. Well, I don't think he's funny.

G: I don't think he's that funny, but eh, it's something. Like, you can see that Aziraphale's face, he's scared and everything. And I'm scared! 'Cause like, I completely forgot about the fucking miracle. I thought that because they figured out that a miracle happened, that they just know intrinsically what the miracle is, so I was like, "Oh, they're gonna know that this is Gabriel so hard and so raw." But turns out they don't. They ask, like, "Where is Gabriel?" Jim is like, "Oh, sometimes people call me Gabriel." [C laughs] And they're like, completely unfazed by this, like, do not give a shit. You know, they go inside.

C: Saraqael has to miracle a wheelchair ramp 'cause Aziraphale's dumb bookshop is not accessible.

G: Aziraphale is trying to get Jim to go away, but Jim won't. And he's trying to get them to get some books, and you know.

C: He does say, "Books are keen," which I thought was a fun sentence.

G: Yeah, I think that's a very Aziraphale thing to say.

C: Mm, I don't know. I mean, Aziraphale does say "pash" this episode. Anything could come out of that man's mouth. [G laughs]

G: For fucking real. Anyway, they mentioned that there was this huge plume of miraculous activity from this shop last night. They say it's "nearly 25 Lazari," which I think is so wonderful that they use Lazarus as a metric for miracles. [C: It's great.] It's even more powerful than resurrecting Lazarus.

C: Yeah, 25 times

G: 25 times, baby. That's crazy. No wonder it worked. They're like, "So you did the miracle?" And he's like, "Yeah, I did a miracle, because, I like- my- my neighbor is in love with the coffee shop owner, and Nina doesn't love her back, so I did a big miracle to make it work out so-"

C: He says, "big, big miracle" in his like, "Kraken. Great big bugger" voice.

G: [laughs] Yeah, "great big bugger" voice. And he's like, "Yeah, so she and Nina, they're now in love." And the angels are like, "Well, okay. Did it work?"

C: He should've just said no. [laughs] Like, apparently, that's not how miracles work. So like, "I expended a bunch of power and it didn't work."

G: Like, he literally should have just said like, "Oh, like, the reason why I was putting in that much miracles is because like, small ones wouldn't work, so it just kept getting bigger and bigger, but it kept not working! Who would have thunk?"

C: Oh well. Guess he panicked.

G: Aziraphale's pretty bad at lying. [C: Yeah] Pretty bad at lying.

C: Yeah. Even though he told like, the second lie in the history of the universe.

G: Anyway, they asked, like, "Oh, so it doesn't have anything to do with Gabriel?" And he's like, "Oh, yeah, you- you did mention that." And they're trying to like, trap him and be like, "Oh, did we? Did we mention it?" [C: But they did, so.] But they did mention it. Gabriel shows back up, and is like, trying to kill a fly with the books. Sure is something! [laughs] I mean, it means absolutely nothing right now in this story, but like, is that something? I think it is something.

C: Well, who's to say?

G: Who is to say? As Gabriel goes up to Michael, Michael starts recognizing him and is like, "Oh, do I know you?" And Gabriel is just like, "Yeah, I'm the assistant bookseller. Opened the door and everything."

C: Yeah, though before Gabriel says that, Aziraphale's literally like, closing his eyes in like, fear and dread.

G: And then they say they're going to send someone to verify the miracle tomorrow morning. So, uh-oh!

C: Uh-oh! And after they leave, there's like, a brief scene where Aziraphale’s listening to “Everyday” as he like, consults newspapers about stories regarding the pub and sketches Gabriel.

G: Oh, he sketches Gabriel! I did not catch that. I thought he was sketching some rando! [laughing]

C: No, that was Gabriel. [both laugh] - C: We cut to the Dirty Donkey pub, and [G screams] Crowley looks so beautiful. [G: Yeah.] He's so beautiful.

G: You know what a big part of why this episode works [C: Why?] is because they're hanging out. Like, they do have a job thing, and like, they are doing this for a purpose, but also, they're just together, and they're not antagonistic towards each other. They're not fighting. And it's like, it's so nice. It's nice to see them just hanging out.

C: Yeah, it is.

G: You know, last episode, I kept complaining, like, "We don't even know what's there to lose!" like, "We don't even know what they're like, in a regular day." And then, we just see them immediately after the fighting starts, and they're mad at each other and whatnot. But like, now, here we see them hanging out. And it's like, "Yeah, it's nice." It's nice.

C: Yeah. I mean, everyone's seen the most famous post of all time, which is "crowley i’m so sorry you literally put on a black turtleneck and a million accessories because aziraphale invited you out of the house for once and not only did you stay in the pub for about 5 minutes total but you never got fucked. you didn’t get fucked not even once."

G: Not even once. So sad.

C: And she didn't even. She didn't get fucked, not even once. God. Looks great, though. They go in, and Crowley's so excited to get to hang out. [G: No, for real!] She's like, "Oh, we're going to the pub! We never go to the pub!"

G: Well, shall we talk about the outfit?

C: Yeah, I mean, it's literally a black turtleneck and a million accessories, and they didn't even get fucked, not even once.

G: God, I love the little leather vest on the inside. What a look!

C: It's- yeah, there is a leather vest being worn. It definitely is a thing that is happening on my screen for me. Aziraphale's not excited to be in the pub, and they're just here because they can't be in the coffee shop. And then [laughs], he stops Crowley with a- with a hand on the chest that really- mm. Well. [G laughing] I think about it very- I think about it often. It's a thing that I think about, in my mind, often.

G: You know, when I first watched this, I did not like [C: Catch it?]- I mean, I noticed it, but like, I didn't have that kind of reaction. And when you were telling me about it, and you sent me a screenshot, I think, I was like, "Yeah, who give a shit." And then, like, I tried to think of it as like, if I was Crowley [C: Yeah.], and then my Aziraphale, like, the equivalent of my Aziraphale in my life put their hand on my chest like that, I think I would lose it completely. So like, okay, I get it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's craaazy, it's crazy. It's just such a casually like, possessive but also just like- it's like, "We are two people who can just touch each other." Like, that's a very intimate thing to do. And it's- it's- [G: Yeah.] Like, the- yeah.

G: It's not like an arm, you know? It's not like an arm tap or a shoulder touch. [C: Mm-hm!] Aziraphale's not putting his arm around Aziraphale's shoulder. It's a very-

C: [laughing] You just said "Aziraphale's not putting his arm around Aziraphale's shoulder." [G laughing]

G: Well, he isn't, so. [both laughing]

C: It's true!

G: I don't know why, but I've gotten really bad with the switching names thing recently. I mean, I don't even have an excuse. At least back in Season 1, I was concussed for [both laughing] the majority of the fucking season. [C: You were!] No, but why- So horrible. Ugh, well, so. I mean, Aziraphale wasn't putting his hand around Crowley's shoulder. He's putting it on Crowley's chest. And that is a very different touch. That's a very different thing to do [C: Yeah.], right?

C: It's- yeah. Yeah. [G: Yeah.] Like, entire palm flat against it. Like, hello. It's like, such a prom photos pose, also, for a brief second. But yeah. It's like, he doesn't so casually. Like, it's not like, a big thing. But like, Crowley kind of just like, stops completely in his tracks and like, freezes a bit, but like. We can't see the expression properly, but like I feel like it- I think Crowley is like, losing it a little bit. A tad.

G: No, you know, like, when you're hanging out with someone you like, and it's like, in the moment you're like, things are just happening. And it's, you know, things are just happening. And then later, when you go home, you like, start going through the day in your head, and you're like, "Oh my god!" I feel like this is a moment for Crowley where like, in the moment, she's like, "Yeah. It's happening." And then she goes home, and she's like, "Oh my god!" So, you know, good for them.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Good for them. Yeah. Aziraphale wants Crowley to get him a drink, which, god. Can you believe that like, love is real, and also that, like, they're in love [G laughs], and they're like, maybe the only people have ever been in love in the history of the universe?

G: No, for fucking real.

C: Yeah, he wants a large sherry, so, you know, under some stress today. He like, miracles a guy away from a table so that he and Crowley can have it. Crowley orders a large Talisker and a sherry for Lady Bracknell. Yeah, the Talisker, that's the same drink that they were drinking like, in the pub in 1.05, so yeah, I guess that's just Crowley's go-to. And Lady Bracknell is a character from Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest-

G: He actually mispronounces it.

C: Yeah, he says Brackney or something. Apparently, that character's thing is just that she is "the embodiment of conventional upper class Victorian respectability." So [G: Yeah], cute. While Crowley's ordering, Mr. Brown from Brown's World of Carpets swoops in, takes the other seat. He and Aziraphale met at the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association Annual Meeting several years ago, and he's holding Aziraphale to a promise to host the association's monthly meeting next time. Aziraphale’s been avoiding this guy for forever because apparently, every time Mr. Brown comes over, the shop just happens to be closed. How strange. And Crowley like, shows up [G exclaims] with, yeah, the drinks. [G: Yeah?] And, he hands- he goes like, [overlapping] "A sherry for you, a whiskey for me. Hello." [G: "Hello!"] Just in the cuntiest voice to Mr. Brown.

G: Here are the three things [C: Mm-hm?], here are the three options as to what people in Soho think of them. [C: Yes.] One is, they're a married couple. [C: Yeah.] Well as may be.

C: Well as may be.

G: [laughing] That's not even- May as well be. Two, they are so Crover and so back. Like, they're an on again/off again relationship.

C: I mean, some of them had to have seen the "When I'm off in the stars, I won't even think about you."

G: [laughs] Yeah. Exactly. People have seen- people would have seen that. Number three, because there is also the option that, like, prior to that, it's not like they see Crowley around that much. Maybe Crowley is like, a new-

C: Boytoy.

G: [laughs] No, exactly! He's like, the new boytoy, and you know what? He's all three, baby! [laughs] They're all three. [C: Yeah.] Crowley really is the married for forever spouse, thrice divorced [C: Four times], four times divorced situationship, and also, the new boytoy. It well may be. [C: It well may be.] I'm so sorry, Edna St. Vincent Millay, that I take that line and just say it for everything. [laughing]

C: Oh, that's what you're referencing!

G: [laughing] Yeah. Yeah. It's a reference to- what's that poem called? "Love is Not All," by Edna St. Vincent Millay. Beautiful poem So wonderful. [C: It's good. It's a good poem.] Yeah. It well may be. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. And then, just the way they're standing next to Aziraphale and doing the like, face on the "Hello." [G: No, exactly!] It's so like, possessive also. [G: Oh, yeah!] Like, they literally do belong to each other, and people do- will say that they're in love, so. Ah! [G: Yeah.] So Mr. Brown's like, "Oh, yeah, Mr. Fell just said he's totally like, super excited to host the monthly Street Association Get-Together." And Crowley goes, “Oh, you astonish me!” [laughs] No, it's- he doesn't even say it like that, it's like- how do they say it?

G: "Oh, you astonish me." [C laughs] [C: Yeah!] It's not even like a- I don't know how to-

C: It's just a casual, like, that's just like, a sentence.

G: "Oh, that's surprising" thing.

C: Yeah, it's so cute! ‘Cause she says the same thing to Shadwell when he says that he doesn't take credit cards, so like, that's just like, a Crowley sentence. It's so cute. It's so so cute. God. Mr. Brown leaves and Crowley sits. And Aziraphale says, “See, this is why I don't go to the pub, because, like, I really hate that guy's guts!” But okay, both of them have news about how last night's miracle got detected. And Aziraphale says like, "Oh, we can't talk about this in the cafe because it's about the woman in the cafe." And well, you know, Crowley lost his flat, but as Aziraphale's now lost his bookshop to Jim [G laughs], and now has lost his coffee shop. So, you know what? Fair is fair.

G: Equal proportions. Yeah.

C: Yeah. And [laughs] Aziraphale says about Nina, "Maggie in the record shop has a... pash on her [G: Pash!], and doesn't know how to conduct a courtship." And oh, god! He's so cute! First off, the word "pash." So fun. And also it means like, an infatuation which is like, yeah, like, she's not in love, she just like, has a thing for her. So true. Okay, it's either that he just fully does not believe that she's actually in love, or he, like, feels uncomfortable saying the word "love" around Crowley because he was totally fine saying it around the angels. Grey-coded for real.

G: I think the pash line is more of, like you said earlier, like, he's trying to say, like, "You know, she has a crush. Like, it's not that deep." But like, crush is like, so out of Aziraphale's vocabulary [C: Yeah.], so "pash" is the way to go. It's such a cute word, though! [C: It is.] I need to start using it! And also, it's so- it's so cute to me that like, he's like, "She doesn't know how to conduct a courtship."

C: [laughing] Yeah! And he's so like, judgy about it too. Just like, "Ope. That's not good." [G: Yeah.] Like, bro, you can't either.

G: A courtship, too. Out of anything that could have been said in that line.

C: Right. It's not that like, Nina has a partner or isn't into Maggie. [laughing] It's just Maggie doesn't know how to conduct a courtship.

G: Yeah, not even like, "Maggie doesn't know how to convey her feelings," or anything, really. It's like, "conduct a courtship." Like, okay. Fine.

C: Like, she can't find a chaperone for their next outing in the carriage. [G laughs] [G: For fucking real.] But yeah, yeah. So cute. But like, I don't know, Crowley is quite stressed, too, and like, not really receptive to Aziraphale’s thing, ‘cause she just goes, “We've got a real problem, and it's in your bookshop right now.” But Aziraphale is like, “No, it's the same problem, ‘cause Heaven got alerted to our Gabriel miracle,” and Crowley goes, “Ugh,” and like, leans all the way back in their chair, like, so far back, and they were already like, sitting the way that I do at work when, like, the managers walk by and give me judgmental looks so like, really, really slumped back. [G laughs] Good for her. Yeah, so Aziraphale’s like, "And, you know, I told them that I made Maggie and Nina fall in love 'cause it was the first thing I could think of, and they're sending someone to check tomorrow."

C: And Crowley says, "Okay, like, just miracle it to happen," which, come on. Seriously? Like, I get that their lives are at stake or whatever, but that doesn't- it doesn't really seem like- You know, when they were like, discussing killing Adam, it was like, a big thing. They spent time on, like, the moral issues regarding that. But like, this is just- this is very casual, it's like, "Okay, just do it." Like, that's not cool! Don't do that. [G: I mean-] Like, we had a whole free will thing. [G: Yeah.] And also, like, the miracle would fuck Maggie's- or sorry. I keep getting mixed up still. [G laughs] Okay, the miracle- Are you gonna keep that in just to like, [laughing] make yourself look better? You should. You should.

G: [laughing] About switching Aziraphale and Crowley constantly, yeah. Exactly.

C: And it'd fuck Nina's life up so bad, 'cause it's like, would this be like, a permanent thing? Like, she would just constantly think that she was into Maggie? Would this just be like, long enough for them to like, get in a relationship, and then she has to like, get out of it after like, she would have already had to break up with her current partner, which is probably gonna be like, a pretty like, stressful/traumatic experience? Like, you are doing something that will affect her for like, years of her life. Like, that's not cool. Don't do that.

G: But like, with like Crowley- I don't know. Like, is Crowley aware- I mean, the thing is, they are aware of how people are like. So like, I don't know. In my head, I'm like, "Is there a situation where Crowley would not understand the implications of this situation?" But I really don't think there is.

C: Yeah, no, I think that Crowley understands the implications just fine. I just think that, like, Neil Gaiman and - what's the other guy's name? - John Finnemore just weren't thinking about it that hard.

G: Maybe it's like, more of a dig at Aziraphale? Like, "Oh, it's something- like, this is like, a common thing you do, right? You set people up," you know?

C: Does Aziraphale do that?

G: I mean, with all the fucking, you know, literature about Cupid, blah blah blah, like-

C: Aziraphale's not a Cupid, though.

G: No, but you know what I mean. Like, it's a miraculous love that- something something. Just the thing is like, I feel like Aziraphale always assumes what Crowley is doing or like, intentions, and always links it back to like, demonic stuff. [C: Mm.] I am to think that maybe like, this thing is like, Crowley being like, "Oh, it's what your lot does, right? Like, you get people together? Do a little miracle, wiggle your fingers about?"

C: Yeah, I mean maybe. But, eh. I'm not feeling that explanation. I think that, like, everyone's just being a bit of a dick.

G: Yeah and like, isn't it so wild that's like, none- Aziraphale doesn't know that Nina has a terrible partner. [C: Yeah, just that she has a partner.] So for all he knows, he's breaking up a completely okay, normal relationship. Well.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Oh well. He DGAF. But luckily, miracles don't work like that. Aziraphale's proposal is like, "Okay, let's just like, make them regular fall in love to fix everything." And Crowley goes, "You mean like, a sudden rainstorm forces them together beneath a canopy. They look into each other's eyes and realize they were made for each other?" [groans] It's so Crover! It's so Crover! It's so Crover! [G: We're back, etc.] [laughing] Ohh my god. But like- I mean, Aziraphale's like, “Sounds unlikely.” and Crowley is like, “No no no, get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes. Vavoom. Sorted.” and then like, pauses, and then sort of adds, as an afterthought, "I saw it in a Richard Curtis film." And the thing is, there have been multiple people in Tumblr who are like, "I've seen every Richard Curtis film, and this doesn't happen," so.

G: Does it really not? [screams]

C: Like, there are rain things but like, it doesn't involve going under a canopy or whatever. So like. So yeah. So yeah, no, this is fully just like, okay, like, it is so fucking Crover. Alright. But I mean, Aziraphale and Crowley didn't look into each other's eyes and realize they were made for each other, though. Like, I think that was a a one-sided, "Oh. This guy's interesting." sort of thing, but still, it is so Crover. It is Crover, and also over, and also joever.

G: I mean, the thing is, I know that they fucking dance at the end of this fucking season, or at some point in this season. [C: Yeah.] So like, I don't know. It's like so fucking Crover to me that's like, for Crowley, it's like, "We're already in love." Like, "This already happened, and we're already in love." And for Aziraphale it's like, "Well, we're not yet in love, so we need to like, have a ball about it." [laughs]

C: Yeah. Well. [G: Crover.] Crover. So Aziraphale's like, "Oh, no, okay, if we're gonna use fiction, let's like, use like, real literature! [G laughs] Remember Jane Austen?" Okay, the thing is, this is- okay, it's something that annoys me, but I think I've gotten over it by deciding that, okay. Whenever their favorite authors, favorite whatevers are like, people who are like, famous today, I'm like, "No, that doesn't make sense, because they were like, there at the time." [G: Yeah.] So like, I bet like, Aziraphale’s favorite author’s like some fucking obscure-ass, like, random person who, like, died in like, 120 BC and like, Aziraphale has the only copy of the scrolls or whatever whatever, right?

G: And the thing is like, not even obscure. Like, we're talking like, maybe famous at the time, just didn't turn out to be a classic, you know? [C: Yeah, yeah.] Because what is famous in the moment is going to be very different from what we remember to be famous at the time, so, yeah.

C: Yeah, no, exactly. Aziraphale’s- and Crowley's favorite music should be like, stuff that like, in 50 years, it should be like, stuff that, like, she downloads on Bandcamp today for 99 cents, and like, she has the only copy of it ever on her phone.

G: Well, don't say that. [C: What?] Crowley's favorite music should always be Queen, no matter what. [laughing]

C: Fine. Yeah, okay. I think for Crowley, it makes a little more sense because, like, they like being cool, so they would go for like, certain things that are like, famous in certain ways. But yeah, okay. But you know what? I've decided to content myself with the dumb thought that like, "Well, no, ‘cause if it was like, someone they favored, they would have helped make them famous, like Crowley did with Hamlet. So like, it's not like they're famous so they like them. It's the other way around." But also, it's still not satisfactory to me as an explanation.

G: You're telling me that Azira-fucking-phale will not be a gatekeeper in literature? [C laughing] That fucking asshole? Yeah.

C: Yeah, he'd be like, "I hope no one buys any of your books ever, and that I have the only copy," so, yeah. But yeah, no, apparently he's a Jane Austen fan. Okay. Whatever. I mean, I do want to like, invite him to watch Emma. (2020) with me. Yeah, Aziraphale goes, "Hey. Rremember Jane Austen?" And Crowley is like, "Yeah, of course. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler, master spy. What a piece of work." which, you know, that is pretty funny. I think it gets a little boring when they keep doing the bit later. But, you know, good for them. [G: I think it's fun.] Yeah. And that it feels more correct. It's like, "Yeah. Crowley was there, and would know, like, obscure things," which, like, this isn't a real robbery or whatever. But, like, yeah, it's like, it didn't survive through history, but Crowley was there. That feels right. But Aziraphale's like, "No no no. She wrote books. Novels." And Crowley's like, “Jane? Austen?!” And then Aziraphale says, “She had balls.” Trans Jane Austen rights. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, Crowley does a double take. But, you know, it's like, "No, cotillion balls." Aziraphale says, "People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realize that they had misunderstood each other and were actually deeply in love." [laughs] It's so Crover for me.

G: Well, what if they are deeply in love?

C: Yeah. What if they have misunderstood each other and are deeply in love? [both laugh] Have we considered? [G laughing] [both] Oh, it's so Crover. I mean, I haven't read every Austen novel yet, but I don't have an immediate thought about what that is. Like, Lizzie and Darcy's dance, they didn't realize-

G: I mean, they didn't- like, the dance was bad for them. [laughs]

C: Yeah, it was bad for them. Like, it helps them establish, like, a conversation rapport, but like, they didn't realize any kind of misunderstanding. Emma and Knightley's dance was like- I mean, there is a scene, like, in the dance hall, where, like, she's dancing and he's not, and she looks over and at him talking with all the older men and realizes that she doesn't view him as one of them, she like, views him as like, in the pool of viable bachelors. But like, that's not them dancing together and learning about like, they both misunderstood each other. And then, I don't know, what else have I read? I think I've only besides that read S&S and Mansfield Park, and I don't recall anything specific from those. [G: Yeah.] So yeah, I don't know. Austen fans, let us know.

G: I mean, the only literature I've read that features a ball [laughs] is "a golden tattoo" by witching, which is a fucking fan of Crowley and Aziraphale in a ball. [C: It's a good fic.] I need to talk about it. It's so wonderful. So good. Everybody go read it. It's gonna be on the rec list that I posted- [laughing]

C: And by now, somebody has asked Grey about his favorite lesbian A/C fics, so you'll see it on our Tumblr.

G: Yeah. And it's gonna be on that list. It's gonna be on that list.

C: Yeah. So they start heading out, and Aziraphale's showing Crowley the record of "Everyday," and he says, "I think it may be... a Clue." And he's putting on like, his voice and his face when he's doing magic tricks [G laughs], which is cute. Crowley is like, sort of annoyed at the way that Aziraphale’s pronouncing the capital letter in "clue." But, you know, Aziraphale sings the first line of “Everyday” again, and this time, it's accurate, because, like, he's heard the record a few times, and he does do the counting out measures thing. God!

G: I mean, it's cute ‘cause, like, Aziraphale starts singing, and then like, not even like, finishing the first line, Crowley is just like, "No. I never heard it." And Aziraphale was like, "Well, that was his singing!" [laughing] And they're so cute! They're so cute. [C: Yeah.] - G: So they go back to the bookshop, and there's a little bit where, like, Crowley walks over to a shelf where it zooms in on the author name, and it's Jane Austen, and Crowley is like, "Wow! She wrote books, too! You people, I will never get the hang of you lot."

C: That is a cute line. Like, it's a bit much, and it's a bit overacted, but I like reminders that they actually do care about humanity [laughs], because it doesn't happen that often.

G: I don't think it's overacted. I think Crowley just acts like that. [C laughs]

C: And also, she doesn't take her sunglasses when she gets in anymore because it's no longer a safe place to be because of Jim's presence.

G: Yeah. But, you know, it gets taken off later [C: For threats.] as a threat. [laughs] Aziraphale goes up to Jim, and he goes like, "Okay, now, tell me, what do you know?" And Jim is like, "Okay. Whaddayaknow?" [laughs] And I-

C: You really do think he's funny this episode. [G: I do!] I would have skipped like, all of these lines in my summary. [G: No, this-] I'm happy that someone somewhere is having fun. [G laughs]

G: No, this line, like, every single time I watched this, I burst out laughing.

C: Not a single smile from me. [G laughing]

G: [laughing] We were on the call, and you were like, chopping carrots or whatever [C laughs], and I was like, laughing so hard at this! And I was like, "Gabriel's so funny this episode!" And you were like, "Okay." [C laughs] and then just kept on chopping your fucking carrots, and I support that. I support that. I'm glad somebody somewhere is hating on something.

C: Thank you.

G: Anyway, laughing is over. The next bit is a bit tedious, and it's just, you know, Aziraphale trying to ask Gabriel questions, and Gabriel's like, "Oh, yeah, I remember that, from this morning. Oh, yeah, I remember the angels, from this morning," and it's like, you know, they're not getting anywhere. So Crowley is like, takes off his glasses to threaten the hell out of Gabriel, and it's like, "Think hard! Like, what is the very first thing you remember?" And Gabriel kind of convulses, closes his eyes, and like, when he opens his eyes, it's a [C: Purple.]- it's the purple eyes. And in a voice that, towards the end, kind of blends into like, a Legion voice, goes like, "I remember when the morning stars sang together, and all the angels of God shouted for joy." But he like, collapses in on himself, and like, obviously, this is a painful thing. And, you know, Aziraphale and Crowley is like, "No, keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah." But Gabriel's just like, "I can't." Starts getting like, a bit agitated and is like, "I can't remember those things. Like, my head isn't big enough. Not anymore." which is fascinating. I don't know if I brought it up last episode, but like, a question I had like was like, "Is Gabriel, like, human? Like, what's the situation?" But like, I guess this is our evidence that, like, that's not the case.

C: Yeah, there's still the remnants of who he was, at least.

G: Well, not who he was, but like, more of like, the eyes, like, the eyes change, and like, I am to assume that humans cannot [C laughs] magically change their eyes to purple.

C: Oh, maybe you can't. My eyes are purple right now. You just can't see it because it's a podcast.

G: This line, like, "My head isn't big enough. Not anymore." I was like, "Huh!" They dismiss Gabriel. And about that line, the line that Gabriel said, Crowley says, "Hey, didn't your boss say that to Job? Do you remember?"

C: It's interesting that they say "your boss" because I feel like both of them have been very careful to say, like, "your former bosses," "your former people," regarding like, the angels and the demons [G: Yeah.], but it's like, Aziraphale still serves God, though. Like, that still seems to be a thing. Or it's-

G: And that is going to be so relevant in the last scene of this episode. Aziraphale!

C: Aw. Yeah. [G: Aziraphale.] "I'm like you now! A- demon!" [G makes pained sound]

G: You with your [overlapping] curly little- [C: And your neat white-] [laughs] It's so Crover.

C: [laughing] God, remember how much we hated last episode? [G laughs] Ugh, well, we are now giggling and twirling our hair.

G: What happens here? Aziraphale looks at the book, right?

C: Aziraphale opens like, a book that has the story of Job in it, and there's like a painting [G: An illumination, yeah] of Sitis raising her hands. And then we sort of zoom in and get back into the flashback. - G: And the flashback is Crowley is in a room with Job.

C: Yeah, I think it's like, the farm that got fucked over or a barn, something like that. 'Cause their house is a separate place.

G: Yeah, it's a barn. Well, I mean, in the book of Job, like, everything happens all at once. Like, they all happen at the same time. [C: Oh.] Job learns about them all at the same time. 'Cause what happens is like, every servant comes in and is like, "Hey, this happened, and I'm the only one who survived." And then, like, before that servant can finish that sentence, another servant comes in and it's like, "Oh, this happened." They separate it here in the Good Omens episode. We're back to Job.

C: He is played by Peter Davison, who is David Tennant's father-in-law. This is the nepotism minisode of all time.

G: Oh my god, yeah! But also, the kid is played by David's kid.

C: Yeah, Ennon is played by Ty Tennant, yeah. Fun stuff.

G: You know what's so funny is, again, in the Book of Job, the new children, he mentions  the three daughters, so it's Jemima, Keziah, and Keren-Happuchand. [laughs] So they changed the other one from like, a named daughter [C laughs] to someone else to have his son in there, and I love that. Congratulations.

C: Trans rights!

G: [laughs] Yeah, exactly. You know, Job is on the floor, sores all over his body. But he's saying like, "Oh, like, everything's miserable. Yeah, you've come at a bad time. God has forsaken me." And Crowley's like, "Oh, you must be furious. After all of your devotion to God, for Him to do this?" And like, Job was like, "Not at God. Like, I'm furious at myself." Crowley's like, "Well, what have you done?" And Job says, "I don't know. How horrible must I be not only to deserve all this, but to not even know why." [C: Yeah.] Horrible! [laughs] [both] Well.

C: "These people's lives are destroyed, and we screw it up anmakeiwurse!" [both laugh]

G: For fucking real.

C: But, yeah, okay, the thing is, okay, Crowley has been sent here to like, do all this shit to Job, and also to like, tempt him into cursing job- into cursing God, sorry. [G: Yeah.] Okay, so it's like, okay, like, right now, she is trying to do that, right? [G: Yeah.] Like, is this half-assed at all, or is this like, "No, I actually want this to- I do sort of want this to happen."

G: I mean, towards the end of this episode, the moment Sitis was like-

C: "I will curse God," yeah. Crowley rushes in like, "Uh-uh!"

G: I'm not sure. Maybe this is just vying for information.

C: Like, the kids aren't even dead yet.

G: Also, like, there is a personal thing for Crowley here, where it's like, after everything, like, all this, and why? For why? And you don't even know. And like, for Crowley, you know, Crowley does know. They do know. But the intensity of the punishment doesn't seem to fit what is actually done, which is like, kind of what's happening with Job right now, right? Like, one thing about Job is like, he is never described as sinless or pure or anything other than by his quote "friends" who are trying to be like, "Oh, you say you're sinless" when he, in fact, never said that, and nobody ever said that. [C: Hm.] Like, he is constantly referred to as "blameless," which is like, that's the whole point. Like, even if you sin, like, shouldn't there be  some leeway? Or like, shouldn't you be allowed to blah blah blah. And with Crowley, you know, I feel like Crowley, there's something for Crowley there.

C: Yeah. I mean, also, Crowley's gotta be like a- Like, it is kind of annoying if God wins this bet. God is trying to prove like, "Oh, I can have unconditional love, like, even if I'm like, a total shithead to someone." Like, if I got cast out of Heaven, I would sort of want God to fail at that.

G: Aghh, I'm thinking again about Crowley and fucking Abraham and Isaac. [C: Yeah.] So horrible. [C: Yeah.] So horrible! You know, I hope they do a flashback episode with that, [C: Yeah, I hope so.] but don't involve Aziraphale at all. Like, I want it to be just Crowley, which is very big for me! [laughs]

C: Yeah, no, you never want that.

G: Yeah. [laughing] But yeah, I think Crowley would get a lot from that. Yeah. Well, Sitis comes in. She is suspicious of Crowley, like, "Who are you? What are you doing?" Sitis asks, "Who is this?" and Job says like, "Oh, [both] this... person was looking for the children." So fucking real.

C: Agh! God! Nonbinary-ass demon, I love you so much!

G: Crowley is like, "Oh, I'm just an old friend here to offer some comfort." And then when Sitis asks for more information, Crowley just goes, "I don't know. You tell me." And like, it's like, a kind of a miracle, 'cause Sitis's face turns into recognition, and she's like, "Oh. Bildad the Shuhite." [C: Yeah.] And Crowley's just like, "Yeah, why not? So, the kids? Where are they?" She's like, "Oh, we're a little bit busy, so like, maybe next time." Crowley is just like, "Well, I mean, since everything is happening, maybe someone should check on the kids, 'cause, you know." And Sitis is disbelieving, like, "Surely God won't do that. The kids are innocent." And Crowley just goes, "Yeah, I mean so were the goats." [both laugh] So Crowley enters this like, beautiful orange place, that's like, you know, it's a beautiful building. Very nice. Lots of birds. And so Crowley is walking walking walking walking, and then Aziraphale just shows up on the side [C: In front of the door to the children's quarters.], and like, he is doing that pose. [C: Yeah.] Like, it's a different pose from the "avaunt" pose, but it's like, this, like [C: Hands raised], I don't know. The pose you do with the "Our Father," but like, higher. He's saying, like, "Crowley, you don't have to destroy Job's children." And Crowley says like, "Well, I mean the last time, you also said I can't, but I did destroy those goats, so." And Aziraphale's like, "Well, technically, you can, but like, you don't have to. Like, the great thing about being a demon is you can do whatever you want."

C: Yeah. He's crazy. That's literally not even true. What does Aziraphale think that demons do? Also, what other demons has he met besides Crowley?

G: We are to assume there has been, because, like, maybe there are other demons on Earth. Is that true? Or is it verified that they're the only ones?

C: No, I think there are other ones, 'cause Shax says like, "I'm Hell's representative in London," which implies that there's like, probably one per city. And also there was like, Crowley had, like, they had a guy at the air base to direct the Dowlings to the nunnery and all that shit.

G: Oh, yeah. And also like, if we are to refer to the book, they had their whole like, situation with the Nanny Ashtoreth, Brother Francis, and then the tutors, so. And those are not them in the book. I mean, isn't that so nice, though, that they arrange it so that they're both going to be assigned to London?

C: Yeah, it is. It is nice.

G: So cute. They're cute. Well, they're in wuv.

C: Yeah. They are in wuv.

G: Crowley points out that like, "Oh, you sound jealous." And Aziraphale is like, "Um, no, I'm not. I get to do what God wants!" [C laughs] And Crowley says like, “Oh, God wants, you know, to kill innocent children to win a bet. So, mm!" Aziraphale's like, "I don't think this is what God wants. [C: He's so in denial.] And I don't think you want it either." So in denial. You know, I really like that like, this episode, God does show up, and it's like, "Yeah. This is what She wants. Like, for fucking real."

C: Yeah, it's like, Aziraphale at first is like, “Well, it literally can't happen because God would stop you.” "Okay, fine, God is not stopping you, but like, this still isn't what she wants." Like,  he has to keep losing like, tenets of faith or whatever. Not that. He has to just keep losing beliefs as he goes as more evidence is presented. This literally happened during the Apocalypse also, again. It literally already happened, or will happen. And I also like how he immediately goes from like, the like, "I'm not sure this is what God wants," but like, the whole time, he's saying it very quietly because he's worried that She's gonna hear and like, come down and be like, "No, it is." but he immediately goes into, like, "No, but this isn't what you want." Because, like, later, when it's the whole thing about the permit, right? It's like, he can't actually act against Crowley 'cause like, he's not allowed to, 'cause that would be him acting as an agent of Heaven against the permit. So like, he could really only convince Crowley to not do it through his words, which is like, something Aziraphale’s usually not that good at. Like, I feel like he's usually an actions-first guy. So, I don't know. It's nice. This is nice. Also, if anyone really likes this minisode and wants to read another Bible fic where Aziraphale makes realizations that he's still unable to unpack until the Apocalypse, stream "Before the Water Rises" by Vitreous_Humor [G: Yeah!], which is a Noah's Ark fic.

G: Aziraphale puts more bank in the "I know who you are, and I know you won't like this." But that is where the conversation goes.

C: Also, he pivots and walks really, really close to Crowley on the "I don't think you want it, either." Like, they were across the room from each other until now.

G: And, you know, Crowley says, like, "What do you know about what I want?" [C screams] And Aziraphale goes, "I know you." You saw each other three times, max! Bruh.

C: But that's not what he's referring to, which I don't like.

G: Yeah. Boo! Booo!

C: Literally hissing, booing, throwing fucking tomatoes.

G: I mean, the thing is like, when we do see them together in Heaven, Crowley was like, "I hate Earth." So like, you know.

C: Well, I think we're to presume that they've seen each other in Heaven multiple times since that first meeting. [G sighs] Like, it's not the only time they saw each other as angels.

G: Well, I mean, to me, like, what this is in reference to is the Flood more than anything, right?

C: Yeah, exactly. That is what it would be about. But, like, Aziraphale just says some other random bullshit. Like, what? Like, no. It's just the Flood. It's just the Flood. [G: Yeah.] The obvious reason that he thinks that he knows what Crowley wants in this situation is because of the "You can't kill kids" during the Flood. Why are we going further back than that?

G: Crowley says, "You don't know me," and Aziraphale says, "I know the angel you were." [C: Booo!] Crowley says, "The angel you knew is not me." So I guess this is time for my formal apology to Crystal [both laughing] for being such a fucking asshole last episode. [C laughing]

C: I was also being an asshole. I literally "Your headcanon IS valid. To you." you-ed. You- to you.

G: [laughing] I mean, you are being a little bit negative, so. [both laughing] You know, my note for this scene was just the biggest sad face I could possibly type [C laughs], and then, "Okay, fine! You were right, you were right, I was wrong, you were right." [C laughing] And you know what? [C: Yeah.] It well may be. [C: It well may be.]

G: Aziraphale pulls the, "Then, you tell me that you don't want to do this. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley!"

C: What?

G: Oh, it's a Supernatural reference [C: Ohh!] but I mispronounced the Cr-ow-ley into Crowley. [C: Ohh! Well, you had to say Cr-ow-ley.] Oh my god! Character development. [C: Huh! Nice!] Character development. But Crowley takes off the glasses and goes, "I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job, just as I destroyed his blameless goats."

C: His favorite animal is kids. I love that they're on the same level.

G: Oh, they're the same height?

C: No no no, sorry, I mean I love that the goats and the kids are like, [G laughing] on the same level of evil to Crowley. Like, he's like, "The goats were also like, innocent. Like, I don't get what you mean. It's like, the same thing, bro."

G: Anyway, this scene, Aziraphale's face falls. And I don't know how this episode goes, so I also am like, "Oh, no!" [C: Aww!] "Oh, no!" Legitimately.

C: Aww. Aziraphale-coded for real.

G: I was like, "I don't know how we're going to be so back from this. Man, what the fuck?"

C: You thought Crowley wanted to kill the kids?

G: Well, I knew that like, Crowley’s probably lying here-

C: Yeah, about wanting to. But Crowley was still going to do it?

G: - about wanting to, yeah. But like, bound by Hell or whatever, bound by the fucking permit whatever. Like, maybe he is gonna do it [C: Yeah. Yeah. That's fair], and this is like a "Let's just reckon with it with as little hesitation as possible to make it as, you know, easy."

C: Yeah. Well, now that we do know Crowley's plan, why did they lie here? What was the purpose of this? Is it to-

G: Just to save Aziraphale?

C: Like, from knowing that if he went along with it, he'd be thwarting the will of God? Yeah. Yeah. That sounds pretty correct, I suppose.

G: Obviously, Crowley can do this by himself. Like, he doesn't need Aziraphale’s help. [C: Yeah, so keep him out of it.] So like, why bother this angel? Yeah. Why make this angel feel the loneliness and guilt and the isolation of the thing that I am about to do?

C: Yeah. I mean, I also think that just, Crowley doesn't like being seen as nice still. [laughs] Like, I think that's also part of it.

G: Probably. [C: Yeah.] Do you think it's like, "If I admit to myself that I'm nice, then what was the Fall even for?"

C: Uh, huh. Maybe. Like, maybe that's part of it. I mean, I think that- I mean, there could just be so a bit of basic like, well, we know that she likes to be good at her job. Like, it makes her really bad at her job if she's nice.

G: Aziraphale just goes, "Then God forgive you." and starts to walk away. And they're walking away from each other, backs turned, etc etc, when we see- [both] when we hear a [goatlike] "Mehh." [both laugh] I can't do it.

C: No, that was pretty good.

G: Yeah, well, we hear a goat sound, and Aziraphale's like, "Huh!" And at the same moment, I go, "Huh!" And then I tell Crystal, "Oh. He kept the goats." And then, like, in my head, I was like, "What is Aziraphale about to do right now?" And I legitimately in my head, I was like, "The ceiling is gonna collapse, and then goats are gonna come [both laughing]- goats are gonna fall from the ceiling." [both laughing] It was what I was fully expecting. [C: Real.] It's raining goats. [C: Hallelujah.] But that's not what happens. Like, I really like this scene because of the like, Aziraphale turning around and Crowley just watching like, "What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?" And like, I do find- I mean, there's a scene kind of this vibe - not vibe, I guess, but like, this look -later, when towards the end, right, with the "Is Aziraphale going to lie?" part, the section of the episode, and like, in that scene, like, Crowley is also just standing there, looking. And it's like, "What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?" [laughs] The goats did not, in fact, fall from the sky. [C laughs] It's the birds. The birds are the goats, and Crowley changed them to birds to keep them here. [C: Yep.] Aghh! Crowleyyy. [C: Yeah.] This moment, I was like, "I should have never doubted you. [C: Yeah!] I should have never doubted you." [C: Never!] You know what? I shouldn't have. And of course, Aziraphale's face, which we need to talk about always and forever. [C: Uh-huh.] Aziraphale does this thing where he purses his lips, almost? Like, [pouty] "Hm." like, that kind of- imagine a face that goes with the sound, "Hmph!" [C laughs] Like that. That face. And then puts his hand on his hips [C: Yup.] and is like, "Hmph!"

C: He goes, "Well." [G groans] He's so cute. [G: This scene is so cute.] Yeah.

G: Like, I watched it, rewatched it, rewatched it. It's unimaginable how many times I've rewatched this scene specifically. Well, we do this like, transition to the next scene, where it's like, the screen is moving, which I thought was fun. I think it's fun. And the screen moves to like, the inside of Job's house. Aziraphale is just standing there, like, smiling a little bit, Crowley's pacing. And Crowley's like, "Oh, stop grinning." And Aziraphale's like, "I'm not grinning!" [C: Yeah.] But like, he is. [C: So happy.] And Crowley's like, "Doesn't mean we're on the same side. Just temporarily not on different sides."

C: Job's kids come out of the door, and Aziraphale is just like, “Be not afraid. I am an angel of the Lord thy God,” really dramatically, but the kids are unfazed by this, because apparently, angels just come in like, just to bring Job wine that he prays for and all that shit all the time.

G: No, it's curious. Like, what is this? "Usual angels"? [C: Yeah.] I think that's very curious.

C: Yeah, yeah, apparently, there's angels that often stop by to bring wine and shit. And Aziraphale's all like, "I have no wine, child!" Like, he's so bad with kids. Mwah! And yeah, so there are three kids here. And the one who's been talking mostly is Keziah, and the next one to speak is the first gay human on all of Earth [G laughing] or something. But yeah, he truly is gay. Good for him. Like, he goes up to Aziraphale with like, this condescending look [G: And like, rubs- Yeah.] and sorta like, brushes his fingers over his chest for like, a second. Like a, "You didn't like, bring any wine, but like, hey, you're hot," or whatever [laughs], but like, condescending the whole time.

G: I don't think that's it, but okay, fine. Good for them. [C: What?] I don't think that's it. [C: What is it?] I think it was like a, "Eugh. Look at you. Eugh." [laughing]

C: Yeah. It is kind of like a "Oh, you poor thing" sorta thing.

G: Yeah, this is just like you and I during the Paris scene. Like, "What's the 'Oh, good lord' mean? Does it mean like, 'Ooh,' or does it mean like, 'Eugh!'" And for me, it's the "eugh."

C: Yeah. But he is still- like, regardless of how he feels about what Aziraphale looks like, [G: Gay as hell, man.] he is still the first gay person on all of Earth. Or, you know, he could be like- there could have been a lot more gay people before, but he is definitely gay. Like, that is how he is being played.

G: Yeah, there were gay people before, but they got killed in the Flood, and this is the first since the Flood.

C: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. [G laughs] And he's about to become internally homophobic because of how fucking annoying the only other two people he's ever met are. [G laughing] [G: For fucking real.] Genuinely believe that after this, the next time he finds himself flirting with a guy, he'll be like, "Oh, god! We sound like those guys," and then he'll just immediately shut down. Sorry that Crowley invented sexism, and now Crowley and Aziraphale have reinvented homophobia. Aziraphale warns them that there's been a demon that Satan has sent to destroy them tonight.

G: He's putting on the voice. [C: Yeah.] He's putting on the angel, like, commanding voice.

C: Yeah. The kids are like, "Nah. It's not happening. Like, Satan wouldn't dare." And they introduce themselves as "Keziah, daughter of Job," "Ennon, son of Job," [both] "Jemima. I made this pot!" You know, the deal is like, God loves Job, so that's not happening. It's not happening. And then Jemima goes, "You're a funny-looking angel," and Crowley goes, "Aren't I just." and winks and clicks her tongue, and Jemima gives like, an excited gasp and goes, "Are you a demon?" And Crowley goes, "Oh, she's good." Like, Crowley loves kids, and he loves when they ask questions. [G: Yeah.] Agh. It's so cute.

G: Crowley does know how to interact with children, is the thing.

C: Yeah. Yeah. And Aziraphale is like, "Okay, yeah, technically, he's a demon. But, like, you know." And then-

G: [laughing] "Sent here to destroy you all!" He's so funny.

C: Yeah, no, and it's the voice you do when you read the monster, like, during like, bedtime stories, right? [G: Yeah.] Like, he's still like, playing around. But then, you know, they actually light the entire house on fire. [G: Yeah.] So, whoops! And the kids are screaming. Sorry that Crowley did this to you, you guys. Like, he probably could have explained before this, but, you know, we needed the dramatics of it all. And Aziraphale’s like, “But you said you wouldn't.” And they go, “I'm a demon. I lied.” [G makes pained sounds] And then we get the exchange where the kids ask Aziraphale to save them, and he goes, “I'm afraid not. He has a permit, you see,” which again, so interesting. So interesting that he's just straight up can't stop Crowley. But okay. And now we go to the part where I'm assuming you were actually sobbing over [G: Yeah.], where Aziraphale goes, “But be not afraid. You're perfectly safe.” And Crowley’s like, walking closer, and like, they're all like, wreathed in flames and all that shit in the back, goes, "Are you sure, Angel?"

G: Is this the first "angel," like, historically?

C: Yeah. Yeah. It is. [G starts laughing shakily] It feels like a species thing, though, doesn't it?

G: No, at this time? No.

C: No? Really? I feel like during the minisode, a lot of it just felt like a species thing, and I was like, "I wonder when it becomes a pet name." But no, you feel like it's already a pet name in this moment?

G: I mean, like, why is it being said? Why is "angel" the term here? It's because like- [C: "I'm a demon-"] It's like a reminder, right?

C: Yeah, of our sides, we're not on the same side, etc.

G: Like, "Look at, you're an angel." Yeah. I mean, if it's not a pet name here, this is where- like, after this, everything else should be, I feel like.

C: I'm not convinced that it's a pet name yet.

G: Like, it's the turning point.

C: If you say so.

G: And I am saying so.

C: And Aziraphale steps closer [G whimpers] and looks like, right into Crowley's eyes [G: It's Crover!], like, no doubt, like, steel in his voice, and goes, "Yes. Quite sure." And Crowley's like, in her head, like, "Fuck, yeah, you're right," and then does a miracle and sends them falling through the cellar. Also, the ox goes through the floor too.

G: I don't think Crowley was like, "Yep, you're right." Like, I think it was always gonna be this way.

C: Oh, no, I mean it- no, it was always- like, that was always the plan. It was just like the "I can't hold up the dramatics for much longer."

G: Truly a scene. They are so "Umaapaw"-coded. Which absolutely nobody understands. Does anybody of you- like any of the listeners, does any of you speak Filipino? Listen to "Umaapaw" by Ang Bandang Shirley.

C: Did you translate the lyrics once or no?

G: I did! For my fucking [C: AMV. Destiel?] Destiel AMV for it, yeah. [laughs} But there's a line here that goes like, "Buo ang loob ko saiyo / Ganito ako kasigurado," and in English, the second line, "Ganito ako kasigurado," means "This is how sure I am." [C: Oh?] And the line that precedes that is, "Buo ang Loob" is... So in the Philippines, the concept of loob is fundamental to Filipino philosophical discussions because Loob means "inside" and the way it's used in a lot, lots of Filipino phrases is, as in, inside the body, like, your insides. So it usually is like, representative of the soul, representative of the heart, the will, you know, stuff like that. The phrase used here is "Buo ang Loob" and "Buo" means whole. In English the closest one is, I think, wholeheartedly, but it's different. It's different. It's not just that. It's like- It's not just wholeheartedly, it's like. "Ah." The whole line is "Buo ang Loob ko saiyo" Which means buo ang loob- so wholeheartedly, with you. So it's like, like, "Everything that is of me, becomes whole, [C: Oh? Oh?] with you, or because of you or whatever, and this is how sure I am." [laughing] Which is crazy! I think it's so them! Everybody disappear and die.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Ah!

G: It's so good. Just watch my Destiel AMV for the translation [C laughing], but the entire time, [both laughing] think about- think about Aziraphale and Crowley.

C: Should we reblog it?

G: Yeah, we'll reblog it. Yeah. You'll see it. - C: Aziraphale's so smug. So happy. He's like, "I knew it. Wind, I assume. That's what Satan really has planned? A mighty wind from the wilderness to smite the mansion and bring it down upon them?" And Crowley is like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, aren't you so smart?" And Aziraphale goes, “Actually, I- I think, getting us all in the cellar was very clever.”

G: This is so like, their first meeting in Heaven's fucking like, "I think you did an excellent job." [C laughs]

C: It is in a similar tone of voice, yeah. Yeah. And you thought that that was the most annoying thing anyone's ever done.

G: [laughs] Well, I think this was cute, and that was annoying.

C: Yeah. So nice. It's so nice. It's so nice. But meanwhile, like, again, these kids are scared out of their minds, and Ennon's like, "Will someone please tell me-" and Crowley snaps their fingers and turns him into a lizard. When Keziah's like, "What have you done to him?" Crowley goes, "This." and turns her into a lizard. Jemima [G: Jemima!] is so cute. She's so happy. She's like, "This is great." She's like, "Can I be a blue one?" And Crowley is like, “Oh, it's alright. You haven't annoyed me yet." But she goes, "But can I be?" And they go, "Oh, sure." and then does so. And then I think they all eventually go into the pot that Jemima made. So the storm starts to like, wreck the house, bring it down upon everyone, and Crowley settles in for the night. Gets like, a big ole like, jug of wine. Aziraphale is like, "Are you drinking human wine? It's the source of drunkenness." So yeah, got some moral things regarding wine. I guess Jesus hasn't appeared yet, so. And ugh, I know this is meant to parallel the like, vinylatte scene last episode-

G: [laughing] No, but it's so funny!

C: - but like, it's good, and that one was bad, so.

G: [laughing] You know, Maggie- [C: What?] Maggie should have gagged like Aziraphale did [both laughing] in this scene when Nina brought out that wine. Like, I think I would have shipped them if she started fucking gagging. [both laughing]

C: [laughing] God, Aziraphale- Mo, Michael Sheen's really getting into like, the physical comedy bits during this scene, and it's wonderful. It's wonderful

G: [laughing] Literally gagging, puking, like, it's so funny!

C: GYeah like, Crowley pours out some wine for themselves, offers- Well, pours out two cups and offers one to Aziraphale. Aziraphale turns away, has a hand up to block the evil wine, and is like, retching and gagging. And Crowley's like, "Yeah, alright. You don't drink. Try the food, though. You can't get drunk on food." Walks over to the ox, which, you know, fell down with them. [laughs] Was it already cooked, or did the fire cook it? [G laughs]

G: You know what? Why not? [C: Why not?] The fire did cook it. To the perfect medium rare.

C: Exactly. And takes out like, a plate with like, some ox ribs on it and holds it up to Aziraphale and goes, “Go on. Have an ox rib.” And, god. They're so fucking horny. [laughs] This is- yeah, no, this sure is a scene. So- you know that time someone asked stupid Neil Gaiman on stupid Tumblr about this, and he was like, "What? No, it wasn't sexual. Sometimes an oxrib is just an oxrib." Like, okay, well, I mean, David Tennant and Michael Sheen did not get that memo, so. [G laughing] [G: For fucking real.] Also, it's so stupid, because, like, every other time someone's asked him about a minisode, he's like, "I didn't write it. You'll have to ask the author." [G laughing] But for this one, he's like, "No! No! They would not ever have sex. What's wrong with you?" [G: God.] Like, you didn't even write this. Like, okay.

G: [laughs] Yeah. You're not even doing it with the audacity of a co-author.

C: [laughing] Yeah, you're not even a co-author. You don't have the audacity. [G laughs] Aziraphale's like, "Are you trying to tempt me?" And Crowley's like, "Not at all. Angels can't be tempted. Can you?" And Aziraphale's like, "Certainly not!" And Crowley's like, "Well, there you are, then. You're free to try the food." Man. Crowley was being sarcastic with the "You're an angel. I don't think you can do anything wrong." in Eden, but like, it worked [laughs], so now it's like, "Alright, let's do this one again."

G: I really like when Crowley says, "There you are, then." I mean, the only other time Crowley says it is in the book, but like, I love it. "There you are, then."

C: There you are, then. But yeah. What is Crowley's motivation here?

G: No, I don't know. Like, why give- Why?

C: I'm not certain.

G: I don't think there's any like, reason to think that Aziraphale might be really into this.

C: Yeah, like, there's no indication at all. Like, it could just be like, a general like, you know, like, “I like wine and food, and no one else seems to appreciate it. But, like, we seem to be of similar minds in like, multiple things, so let's see if this-"

G: This is just like you trying to get me to watch Good Omens, yeah. [C laughing] They should have started a podcast about food.

C: I don't know, I feel like there's a moment later, where it's like, you could read this as Crowley like, not like, wanting Aziraphale to Fall like, very hard, but like, "Well, let's see what happens [G: Just a little bit?] [G laughs] about it," you know? But anyway, it doesn't really jive with my personal headcanons that Crowley was the one to introduce Aziraphale to food. [G: Oh yeah, you don't like this.] Like, it's just- I don't know. That's like, Aziraphale’s number one thing. I mean, okay, maybe books are his number one thing, and like, they're not gonna be like, "And Crowley was like, 'Hey, look, there are words on a page.'" So that's fine, I guess. Books are his number one thing. That can still be a solo thing. But I have no actual reason for disliking it. I just think that, like, there's something that are quintessentially like, them, and I would prefer it if they came to those conclusions and interests by themselves.

G: [laughs] Yeah. Sure, why not?

C: You don't really have an opinion?

G: I don't really have an opinion about this, but you know what would be so funny? [C: What?] If in the next minisode, it's revealed that Aziraphale is the reason why Crowley likes plants. [laughs] Like, why not? [both laugh] Let's just go all in.

C: I thought what you were gonna say is that it'd be funny if it was revealed that Aziraphale literally has eaten food before, [G laughing] but like, he's just like, "No! I wouldn't eat food! I'm an angel! Eww!"

G: "I would never consume food!" [C: Yeah, yeah.] He's just like that one fucking video-

C: - fic where Crowley had already gone to Petronius's restaurant earlier that day?

G: [[laughing] He's like that one video of Brian Jordan Alvarez where it's like, "I don't drink water." [C laughs] That's what Aziraphale is. "I don't drink water."

C: For real. But anyway, the fic that I just referenced- "Worth Knowing" by Twilightcitysky, is, yeah. It is mentioned there that, like, Crowley had already gone to Petronius's restaurant earlier that day, and then pretended to not have had an oyster so that she could have lunch with Aziraphale.

G: And the video I'm talking about is "I Can't Eat" by Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's so funny.

C: Yeah. It is pretty funny. Yeah, this isn't what the show is going for, but in the spirit of Grey, I'm choosing to believe that Aziraphale has totally eaten before this already. [G laughing]

G: What do you mean in my spirit? I didn't even say that?

C: No, in the spirit- I mean, like, how you were with like, last episode. [G: Ohh.] You're like, "They don't even remember meeting. This didn't even happen." in the "before the beginning" scene.

G: For fucking real.

C: Aziraphale's still doing the "Ew, eugh, blech!" thing, but picks up a little piece of meat, and then like, is frowning and scrunching his face up so much as he takes the first bite and chews. And then midway through chewing, e does like, his gay little gasp [G: Yeah!] and goes, "Oh, I say." And- it's like, the amount that's left in his fingers is like, it's like, one bite worth. But I really like, that, he takes like, a bite that like, leaves, like, maybe like, one-sixth of the piece of meat left. It's like he's trying to pace himself, but like, immediately after, he like, shoves the like, remaining sliver into his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. He's very into it.

G: And Crowley doesn't eat. [C: No.] Crowley doesn't eat.

C: No. Crowley is watching.

G: This is all for Aziraphale.

C: Crowley's still holding- Crowley's holding the plate. I don't think that they put down the plate. We cut to later, so we don't know, but I think Crowley just stood there, holding the plate the whole time, and Aziraphale just went through the entire plate before getting to the ox, like, with the- Like, I don't know how to explain what Crowley's expression is? Like, rapturous, I would say?

G: Yeah, I think this is like, yeah. I would say, this is like, a horny thing

C: It is. It's- yeah. [laughs]

G: Yeah. It well may be.

C: It well may be. Oh, also, before, like, eating the piece of meat, like, Aziraphale licks it with his tongue like, in this weird way [G: Yeah.] [both laughing], yeah. [G: God.] I remember reading a post from my mutual that was like, "my favorite ace headcanon about Aziraphale and Crowley is that like-" Oh, god, do can I even say this on the podcast? Is that Aziraphale only likes eating pussy in the way that he likes eating ox ribs, and [laughing] Crowley lets him do it not because he actually likes getting eaten out specifically, but because he likes watching Aziraphale eat his pussy like it's ox ribs [G laughing], and like, so true. Am I- is that allowed? Does that go past our limit of how sexually explicit we're gonna be? Anyway! We like, cut to later. God, Crowley's so horny-looking! Like, their eyes are opened so, so wide, and they're just not blinking, staring. Like, okay, girl. So yeah, we cut to later, and like, Aziraphale is food-drunk, off his gourd, grease all over his face. He's finished the plate. He's moved onto the ox. The ox's bones are like, stripped bare. [G: He's ravenous.] Like, he's eaten at least like, two-thirds of the entire fucking ox. [G: Ravenous.] Won't stop eating to  talk. It's just like, talking while chewing, and goes like, "Come on. You're a little bit on our side." And Crowley's like, "No, not even the slightest." And Aziraphale's like, "Well, you're not on Hell's side." Oh, also, Crowley is like, on the floor, like, sprawled out, drinking wine. I think they're on like, the last dregs of the jug right now. Crowley considers a bit and then goes, “I go along with Hell as far as I can.” Ahhhh. And Aziraphale goes, "So whose side are you on?" Labor organizer Aziraphale rights. Crowley goes, "My side." And Aziraphale goes, “Gosh! Well, that sounds… lonely.” Ahh. And Crowley goes, "No, it's not lonely. I'm good. Whose side are you on?" And Aziraphale gives like, a scandalized look, and is like, "God's, of course!" But Crowley's like, "The same one that wants me to whack the kids?" "Whack is so fun." In Supernatural, every time they come up with a new word for kill [G laughs] [G: Yeah.], it's like, "You're the most- You're disgusting creatures [G laughing], and I want you off my screen." But Crowley can do whatever she wants forever. If Crowley had said here, "The same God that wants me to gank the kids," I'd be like, "I like the word 'gank' now. [G laughs] It's good."

G: For fucking real. He should have said, "God wants me to ventilate those children." [C laughing]

C: Real! Aziraphale goes, "Yes. But." And Crowley goes, "Yeah, that's just how it started for me. See you in Hell." which is a bit mean. And is like, that's the part where it's like, "I wonder if, you know, the food was like, 'Well, let's see what happens.'"

G: No, I don't think so.

C: No? No? What do you think the vibe here is?

G: Of the food or-

C: I don't know. Just this whole thing.

G: I don't know. It's like, just, I mean, obviously, from what we see later on like, Crowley does not believe Aziraphale's [overlapping] actually going to go to Hell, like ever.

C: Yeah, that's true. I mean, with his curly little- and his neat white. I suppose so. But there's a similar-ish scene during like, bookshop drunk scene where Aziraphale goes like, "Well, I'll be damned," and Crowley goes, “It's not that bad when you get used to it.” But like, it's- this is much more mean-spirited than that one. Like, it's a very different tone, 'cause I feel like this one does feel to me like a genuine like, "Well. You might actually Fall. This is a genuine belief I hold." But you're right that later-

G: I don't think it's a- Okay, continue that the "you're right" first, because I want to be right.

C: [laughing] No, just that you're right that it seems like, later, it seems like a ridiculous notion to Crowley, so, I don't know. Hard to tell.

G: No, but I mean, the thing is like, even if Crowley here was like, "Oh, you're gonna go to Hell, become a demon," I don't think it's that mean-spirited because I feel like mean-spirited comes from a place of like, intention and stuff, and I don't think they know each other well enough for Crowley to fully comprehend how important it is for Aziraphale [C: That he's an angel.] that he's an angel, yeah.

C: That's true. But I feel like Crowley could guess. Like, I feel like you'd just be like, "Would the average angel take well to the sentence, 'I think you're gonna go to Hell and become a demon'?" And like, I think the answer would be like, "No, it would be bad. They would be unhappy and sad about it."

G: Well, so what? Crowley's a demon.

C: I mean, I don't blame Crowley for it.  I think that like, it was totally fine for them to do it, and they should do it again. But I do feel like it was said with the thought, "This is probably gonna hurt Aziraphale a little bit, and I'm okay with that."

G: Yeah. And you know what? I think this Crowley is okay with it, and I think that's completely fine.

C: Real. - G: Our next scene is- there's this bit where Aziraphale’s like, “Oh, my God!” And Crowley is like, “Wow! Blasphemy. Unbecoming of you.” Okay, here, Crowley says “angel” again. [C: Yeah.] What do you think? Is this a pet name or not?

C: I mean it is in direct relation to like, “You're blaspheming.” [G: Ugh! Well.] So, species again. Sorry!

G: When do you think it changes?

C: Not a time when we see it.

G: Yes, but like, for example, in the Episode 3, like, where in that? Before what? After what?

C: Honestly, I think not - Oh, god, this is a bold stance. - Not until the Arrangement.

G: You know what? I believe it. 'Cause I was going to say, like, definitely after, like, the Wessex situation. [C: Yeah, exactly.] So maybe not after the Arrangement, but definitely around that time. Like, maybe a bit before, and that's what tips it over, you know? [C: Yeah. Yeah.] Are all the other minisodes flashbacks?

C: Yeah. And the other ones are all bad, also [laughs], in my opinion.

G: Ugh. It's not this kind of flashback. Like, not Biblical or whatever.

C: No, I wish. [G: Sad.] Huh, okay, you know what's interesting [G: No, I don't.], is that in the official Amazon captions, whatever whatever, sometimes angel is lowercase, and sometimes it's-

G: Capitalized? Oh, that's juicy!

C: It's uppercase here, like, in this episode, but it was lowercase on “Doing good again, angel?” in Season 2, Episode 1. So I feel like when it's lowercase, it's a pet name, and when it's uppercase, it's a species?

G: Sure. Why not? [C: Why not?] Why not? "Hello, Aziraphale." Do you remember that? It's so cute.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: What's happening here is Job is actually talking to God, and Job's not having a great time. Middle of a storm kind of situation. And, you know, God is asking like, "Oh, do you know how I created the Earth? Where were you when I lay the foundations of the Earth, Job?" And Aziraphale and Crowley are watching.

C: It's not a good scene, because God feels so strongly like a voiceover, you know? Like, it's like, it doesn't feel like she's actually talking to him, and it also doesn't feel like he's hearing her, because Pete Davidson- Davison [G laughs] is sort of just like, standing there like, with his arms- [laughing] Mm. [G: Why not?] But yeah, Pete Davison is just standing there with his arms up in the air, like, going like, "Why? Why?" like, at random intervals? [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] Like, it barely feels like he's responding to anything God's saying, or is even hearing any of it. It was like, clearly added in post. He wasn't even like, directed to know when She was supposed to be saying sentences. Like, it looks bad.

G: I mean, what we're supposed to focus on is that Aziraphale and Crowley are seeing this, and they're like, "Oh my god! Like, do you think he's getting any answers?" And it's like, "No, but just to be able to ask the question." [pained sounds]

C: Aww. Crowleyyy. Ahhh.

G: Crowleyyy. [laughs] Job comes back in, and Sitis is there and is asking like, "Oh, what did God say?" And Job's like, "I don't know. Like, I think what God is saying is once you have made whales, you can come back and like, have answers. But otherwise, fuck off!" [C: Yeah.] Yeah. I like that this is how they do it, really, 'cause, I mean, obviously the Job from- that's in the Bible story Job - is very different from this story Job. It does feel very frustrating in the original where it's like, God comes in and says all this, and honestly, quite unreasonable, and Job is like, "Yeah, why not?" And, you know, it's treated as a good thing that like, "Oh, you cannot comprehend God's plans, and like, you just have to submit yourself, and look at Job." You know, it's treated to be like, a good resolution to the story. But here, it's like, "No like, Job doesn't get it." I mean, it's still- you know, same thing happens. God says the same things and all that. But it's the like, "How are we supposed to take it?" you know, that's different. "How are we supposed to take that?" [both laugh], as @montessori.boy TikTok "Rainbow Dress" puts it.

C: Sitis does [G: Asks about the children.] go, like, “And what did They say about the children?” Sitis they/thems God, which I love.

G: She/they God! Hell yeah! [C: She/they God rights!] [laughs] Diversity win! [C: Yeah.] [laughs] And then, you know, Job is like, "No mention of the kids." And, you know, they're both terrified when the angels show up and they like, glow. It's like, a giant glow, and then, as it glows out, they're there. And Gabriel is saying, like, "Virtuous Job, you have passed God's tests." and like, says, "Okay, I'm gonna dole out your rewards, and the first reward is, like, you have lost, what? 300 sheep? And now you have 600!" And the angels are like, clapping. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] And, you know, Gabriel's like, "What do you say? [laughs] And Job was like, "Uh, thank you?" And it's like-

C: "Don't thank me. Thank God!" Also, at some point, Aziraphale is like, going, "Sorry, sorry, sorry," [G: Oh yeah, I forgot!] and edging into the crowd of angels. I think they are like, missing a part in the formation, so I guess Aziraphale's sort of supposed to be part of this congratulations party.

G: Yeah. Literally just like a fucking job you hate, for fucking real. [C laughs] So Job says, like, "Oh, but what about our children?" Sitis too. And, you know, Gabriel is like, "Well, your three children are completely fucking dead. But now, God will grant you to conceive seven more children," and the angels are clapping, but of course, Job and Sitis are completely horrified by this. You know, like, "I loved my children!" "We don't want more children, what the hell?" And Sitis-

C: Yeah, and Job falls to the ground weeping, and that's like, background sound for, like, [laughs] the rest of the entire scene. And like- [G laughing] [G: Real! For fucking real!] And I feel like it's pretty- I mean, it's similar to, you know, the screams in the background of 1941 [G laughs] where it's like, "These humans are suffering so so horribly while Aziraphale and Crowley, like, flirt in 5D space in front of God and everyone." [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] I feel like in 1941, it didn't annoy me that much because we didn't like, know those people, but like, we have met Job, and I know exactly who's crying on the floor and what about, so like, it's like, they are gonna be very charming and fun soon, but I also find them kind of very annoying [laughs] for the rest of the scene.

G: Like, they spent that whole night eating and drinking, and they weren't like, "Okay, what's the plan tomorrow?" [C: Yeah.] Like, they really DGAF.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Also, like, those kids were lizards on the floor the whole time. Like, Crowley didn't really explain the situation to them at all. Like, hopefully, like, in their lizard brain state, they just weren't able to stay up all night worrying, but like, what if they did? That sucks.

G: I mean, I hope they're lizard lizard brains for real, [C: Yeah.] because, like, I don't want them to hear [both laugh] and see Aziraphale and Crowley that night.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah.

G: Yeah. Job's on the floor, sobbing, etc etc. And Sitis goes, "If my children are dead, then I will curse God-!" [C: Yeah.] And Crowley comes in and is like, "Whoa-whoa-whoa! No-no-no! Don't do that! That doesn't end well! [C: Yeah.] Remember me? Bildad the Shuhite?" [C: Yeah.] And the angels are like, "What the fuck?"

C: Is Crowley gonna be in trouble that Job passed the test? Like, this was an assignment that she had, and she failed.

G: No! I mean, the whole situation is to just to take away what's there, so like, as long as-

C: But the point is- I guess. I guess, according to the rules of the bet, yeah. That's true.

G: I mean, that's not Crowley's problem.

C: Yeah, yeah. Though, I mean, Crowley did have, you know, the moment where, like, they were trying to like, get Job to say that they were mad at God, so like, I'd think that part of the assignment, like, beyond taking things away is to be like- I don't think Satan's playing fair in this bet, so I'm sure it's like, "Hey, and if you could try to like, convince them." And now, like, they're like, explicitly stopping Sitis from like, causing the bet to fail, so, this seems like something they could get in trouble for.

G: I mean, it's not about Sitis, though. [C: That's true.] Like, Sitis was always like, "What the fuck, God?" But like, it's Job who the bet's about, so.

C: Yeah, fair.

G: Yeah, the angels are like, "Who are you? What the fuck?" And Aziraphale's like, "Oh, he says he's Bildad the Shuhite?" And Crowley's like, "Yup!" Like, puts on the voice that she puts on for Hastur.

C: Mm, yeah. Aziraphale says the "He says that he's" because Aziraphale's, so far, trying to avoid lying to the angels.

G: Crowley is like, "Oh, yep! Bildad the Shuhite. Need any shoes?" [C laughs] And, like, Michael is like, "Well, Shuhite means from the land of Shua." Crowley's like, "Yeah, where I am, in fact, [overlapping] a leading shoemaker."

C: "You think they don't wear shoes in Shua?"

G: And Aziraphale's like, "Fuck. I mean, wouldn't be really helpful if you were an expert on human births?" Crowley is like, "Yup. Shoemaking and obstetrics. [C laughs] These have always been the twin passions of Bildad the Shuhite."

C: [laughing] I love her!

G: So cute. And, you know, they say, like, "Oh, Sitis is gonna have more children," and like, "Well, what do you know?" And you know, Crowley's like, "Okay, well, let's just do it." [C: "Let's get started right away."] Yeah. Goes up to Sitis and whispers, like, "Just make sure that you do everything as I say." [C: "Just trust me."] And then, like, Aziraphale also comes forth. [C: Yeah.] And what does he do?

C: Well, I mean eventually he does the miracle to turn the children from lizards into humans.

G: I know, but like- 'cause-

C: I think it's just like, Crowley's like, "I'll need an assistant," sort of. Like, trying to make sure that the other people stay farther away and don't try to help.

G: Yeah, why not?

C: Yeah. Sitis has to be having like, the worst time. Like, I'm glad that Crowley did the like, "Just trust me" thing to like- 'cause like, I feel like this is a scary situation. I feel like it could have come a bit earlier, and could have been a bit more reassuring, but I don't know. I guess they met like, the minimum requirements for reassurance for this time.

G: Crowley is just starting the procedure, and like, Aziraphale's like, "Oh, in fact, Gabriel here personally witnessed childbirth in the Garden of Eden!" And everyone's like, "Ah-ha-ha," clapping clapping, "Oh my god!" And Gabriel is like, curling, like, twisting, curling his hair like, [valley girl] "Oh my god. Yeah, I did." [both laugh] So fucking funny. Basically, Crowley makes Sitis reach into Job's robes, pull out three of his ribs, and give him a hug.

C: Aziraphale gives a fun wink/double thumbs-up thing.

G: For what?

C: 'Cause Crowley's like, directing her to be like, "Oh, no! Reach a little higher- reach a little higher," and then, when she reaches the right place, where I think they've hidden the like-Are these the ox ribs or something? that they've put in Job's robes?

G: Ohh! Is that why Aziraphale comes forward, then?

C: Maybe. To like, miracle those into Job's robes? Yeah, potentially.

G: Why not? Aw. Well. So like, she pulls out the ribs, and Crowley is like, "And now, embrace." And then they hug, and behind them, the lizards are there. And Aziraphale miracles it to, you know, turn back to humans. And they do! And everyone's very happy and hugging each other, and Michael's like, "But they're not babies," and Crowley's like, "Well, was Eve a baby?" Gabriel's like, "No, no, no, they can arrive at any age." [both laugh]

C: Yeah, "They can arrive in any size." But okay, it's weird that none of the angels are like, "This is three, not seven." Like, they made such a big deal about it being seven.

G: I don't know. I was wondering why it's three. The way it is in the Book of Job is, it's ten. [C: Oh, wow.] So I think what the intention here is that they did still conceive the seven children.

C: Oh, interesting!

G: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

C: I think it's just three because they didn't wanna cast a whole Sound of Music ensemble.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And also, it was COVID time. But I was wondering, why is it three? Like, is there a specific reason? [both] I don't know. Job is like, "Oh my god! Ennon!" And it's like, the angels were like, "What? That's the name of your old son." But they're like, "No, no, no, Job." Sitis, specifically, was like, "No, Job, this is not Ennon!"

C: "Who just looks a lot like our old son."

G: "It's a miracle that, you know, he looks exactly the same as our old son." And Ennon was like, "No, I'm not, what the fuck?"

C: Yeah, no for real. [laughs] I like this because Job was always the one who had more faith in God. Sitis was more like, "Well, this sucks and they should've answered your question." So I feel like, for this moment, I feel like Job, in the first moment, thinks that, "Oh, this was actually the plan all along. Like, this was an extra test or something, [G: Yeah.] and like, They meant to bring our kids back." But, like, Sitis immediately catches on, like, “No, this is- we were saved by the grace of like, two rogue agents. Like, this is not what God wanted for us.”

G: Her entire point in the story was like, "Well, Job, I mean, this is so unfair. You must be so mad at God, and like, you should curse God and then die." [both laugh] Which did she say, which I think is so funny. And the end of the- at the last chapter, when, like, all of Job's- all of his family is brought back, and then he has new children, and everything is wonderful, like, the wife is completely gone from the story. [C: Huh.] So I was thinking of that, and then I thought about like, what they did with Sitis this episode of like, I don't know. I like it. [C: Mm-hm.] I don't know how to word what I am thinking.

C: Uh, like, they give her more agency, and they also like, confirm that her point of view is, in fact, like, the valid one. Like, yeah.

G: Yeah. That one. It's like, this person who is painted as unreasonable, or like, having no faith or whatever, but like, it's completely reasonable, though, is the thing. [C: Yeah.] Like, everything that Job lost-

C: She also lost?

G: His wife also lost, yeah. Like, it's the exact same loss aside from the fucking like, sores. I like this portrayal of Sitis. I'm really happy about it. [C: Yeah.] The angels start getting suspicious, and they're like, "Huh. Well, Aziraphale. What is this? Like, are these the new children God promised Job?" And Aziraphale, still trying to not lie just goes- And then Michael goes, "No, they certainly ought to be. They seem to be his old children." And Gabriel asks, like, "Aziraphale, who are they?" And we get this very quite long, actually, tense moment where, you know, it's Aziraphale, and Crowley is just watching from the side. And you know what I really like about this scene? Aziraphale doesn't look at Crowley. [C: Hm.] Like, this is not like a "We already went through this much trouble, you and I, so like, I owe it to you to push through it." This is like, an Aziraphale decision. Like, Aziraphale is choosing to do this of his own accord, for his own agenda, and I like that. It really didn't start out as "our side." It's just "my side" and "my side." [C: Yeah.] Aziraphale lies and goes, “They are his new children. You have my word as an angel.” [C: Yep.] And, you know, everyone's celebrating. Whatever whatever. Good for them. - C: Back to the present, in the bookshop. So Aziraphale goes, "Crowley?" But apparently Crowley just fucking left 'cause Aziraphale was just standing there, thinking about the Book of Job, for like, an hour or some shit. Not very niceys of Crowley, honestly, but okay. It's Gabriel there, and Aziraphale tells him, like, "You used to be awful. I mean, so awful." And Gabriel asks if he's awful now, and Aziraphale goes, "I don't know. I hope not." We go to- Crowley's walking by the coffee shop, goes up to Nina, and I mean, Nina's like, had a really bad day because we know that her partner is really awful, and they probably spent all of last night like, fighting, and like, she probably got yelled at a lot. It's probably terrible. So I am sorry that this is happening to her, but also, Crowley's so cute! [laughs] So like, maybe this is like, a wonderful exchange that's like, really bringing light into her life, despite the fact that none of her facial expressions say that. Have we considered that? She remembers Crowley from getting struck by lightning, [both laugh] and also the six espressos. And Crowley goes, “Silly question. But how do you feel about sudden rain?” And Nina's just like, "Yeah, that's a silly question," but they press on, "No, but in the event of a sudden torrential downpour, would you be likely to shelter under an awning?" [both laugh] Aw, god! They're so cute. You're soo cute. And Nina goes sarcastically, "Wow! It's like you've looked deep into my secret soul." She is an objectively funny person, and there is someone out there for her, but it's not Maggie. And Crowley goes, "Well, it's a knack. For instance-" and then looks meaningfully towards the record shop. Okay, you're like, an employee. You own a coffee shop. Someone's who's come in for the first time yesterday - Okay, I guess. Okay, I guess the reasoning is that Crowley saw the two of them locked in the coffee shop [G: Yeah.], so that's why Crowley-  so Nina's like, "Oh, so that's why like, Crowley like, thinks that like, maybe there's a thing going on there, and it is a bit presumptuous of them to be asking, but, like, whatever. Like, they're clearly a rude person. [G laughing] Like, they went with that guy who took the plate and everything, so."

G: God. They should put that under Crowley's name.

C: Which part?

G: Anthony "clearly a rude person" J. Crowley. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] And with Aziraphale, it's Mr. A. Z. "surprisingly a rude person" Fell. [both laughing]

C: Yeah. Yeah. Took the plate! Crowley, you know, inclines his head towards the record shop, and Nina goes, "Oh, not a thing. Definitely. We're just friends. Actually, we're not friends. We barely know each other." And well, that's true.

G: She's so right for that.

C: It's true. So yeah. Like, it's not supposed to be a 1601 parallel, right? Because it will never be 1601, and it can never be 1601.

G: Ugh, is it supposed to be? I hate that so much.

C: I don't know. I don't know if it's supposed to be.

G: But it's not to me, because I don't want it to be.

C: Yeah, same. Real. She explains that, you know, all that happened was that they got trapped in the shop together, her partner was not impressed, not a pleasant evening. So yeah. Sorry, Nina. So Crowley heads over to the Bentley, where Aziraphale is standing next to it, and he goes like, immediately, "Do you need a lift somewhere?" What if like, love was like, real, and it was always real, because they've always been here, and they've always been in love? So- and Aziraphale's like, "Oh, no thank you, I was like-" and then he explains, you know, the thing with the clue, you know, the thing with the pub that we already saw Maggie explain earlier, so it doesn't really make sense for him to say it again. He says that he is going to go up to Edinburgh himself and investigate.

G: No, no, no, wait. I need to point something out.

C: Oh. Oh, the tongue! [G laughing] The tongue thing on "investigate."

G: [laughing] Yeah. What even is this? Aziraphale, what is this?

C: He does it during magic as well.

G: [laughing] Yeah, it's so fucking funny to me. Like, literally, Aziraphale read the phrase "tongue-in-cheek" in like, a book once, and was like, "You know what? I'm gonna do that." And you know what? He does. I just love how expressive Aziraphale is. [C: Yeah.] And like, especially because like, we have seen him not be like this in like, you know, when he's upset or like, when shit's going down for fucking real. So like, when he is like this, it does feel very much like, a, "Oh, he's having a nice time. He's comfy. He's happy." And it's important to me.

C: Mm. Crowley immediately goes, “Fair enough. What time is your train?” 'Cause, like, I'm assuming it's like, "Okay. Like, okay, then I'll drive you to the train station." due to how love is real and has always been real because they've always been here, and they've always been in love. [laughs] But okay, then Aziraphale goes [G laughs], "Actually, I rather thought I might take the car." And Crowley goes, "What car." And Aziraphale goes, "Our car."

G: "Isn't she a beauty?"

C: Yeah! Yeah! Aziraphale is so- It's so funny. It's the most sentence he's ever said. 'Cause Crowley goes, "We don't have a car," and Aziraphale goes, "Of course we do. Isn't she a beauty?" And it's soo. I don't know how to explain how it makes me feel. But it's so much. I mean, I feel like part of Crowley's resistance to this is that it is like, his house right now, but I think he would be just like this, even if he still had a flat. Yeah, Crowley goes like, "The Bentley is my car." Aziraphale goes like, "Well, yes, technically, just as that bookshop is technically my shop, but we both get plenty of use out of it, don't we?" What does that mean? [G laughing] You haven't even tried penetration yet!

G: You know, what if they already did? It just wasn't important for our journey?

C: I mean, maybe so.

G: But it is important for our journey! So we should've seen it.

C: It's incredibly important for my journey. [G laughing] But it's nice that he thinks of the bookshop as theirs, though, 'cause I don't think Crowley thinks of it that way. But like, aww. Isn't that nice? Crowley is literally the "& Co."!

G: Yeah! [laughs] Aww.

C: Crowley is like, "No, you can't drive my Bentley," but Aziraphale says, “No, I can. I have a license. I passed my driving test 90 years ago. They didn't even require tests, but I insisted." He's so-! And he does like, a little punching motion on "insisted," I think.

G: Yeah! [C exclaims]

C: Yeah. 90 years ago was 1933. I don't know exactly why- Like, why did Aziraphale want to drive in 1933? Like, the Bentley wasn't around, 'cause they don't see each other until 1941. Did Aziraphale have a car?

G: I don't think so.

C: Well, he had to practice for the driving test.

G: I just cannot imagine Aziraphale being like, "I'm gonna go behind the wheel." But apparently he does, and apparently he will next episode, so.

C: Yeah. Agh, man. Crowley's still saying, "No."

G: And like, I think this is the part where like, Aziraphale reaches out for the car-

C: Oh, reaches out for the Bentley, and Crowley slaps his hand away? [both laughing]

G: Yeah. It's so funny! [C: Yeah. Yeah. God.] Crowley just goes, "No!" and then slaps that fucking hand away. Good for them.

C: Good for them. Aziraphale’s like, "No, it's happening. I'll be very careful, and while I'm gone you can look after the bookshop, and Gabriel!" And I guess Crowley does have to acquiesce. We're back at the bookshop. You care about this scene.

G: I do like it!

C: Why? [pause] No, you're allowed to have fun and like things. I don't want to take joy away from your life. Gabriel's looking through books, and he's shelving them according to, you know, first letter of the first sentence. The first one he does is, "It was the day my grandmother exploded," which is The Crow Road, which is not by an author that I know, but seems like it'll be relevant to the story in some way. Because the next one he shelves is Pride & Prejudice. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." And after he says that, he goes, "Whatever that is," which means that he doesn't know what a wife is, but he does know what the other words in the sentence are, [G: Yeah.] so that's kind of confusing. Like, I'd say that fortune seems- I mean, I don't know. Is the idea that he doesn't understand human concepts? I mean, [sarcastically] well, angels are sexless, so why would he know what a man is, Neil Gaiman? Huh? [G laughing] Huh, Neil Gaiman? And then he gets to Good Omens, the book, which starts with "It was a nice day," and the camera makes sure to show you like, half the page so you know for sure that it's Good Omens the book, and then he goes, "That's more like it." And then he shelves it, and I just think it's dumb. ‘Cause, well, it shouldn't exist.

G: Well, I mean, the reason why I liked it is because, well, "In the beginning" is like, the title of the chapter, but the way the way it is filmed, and like, the way the book is formatted, it looks like the first line of the book, so like, I think the visual of Gabriel seeing that and then skipping it is pretty nice. Like, even though I know that that's the chapter title, and maybe this is not the intention at all, but like, Gabriel seeing "In the beginning" and like, immediately recognizing that like, "I don't want to say that out loud." [C: Hm. Okay.] I like that, number one. Number two, what the fuck does this mean?

C: Nothing.

G: This is separate from the "I like it" part. This is just a "I'm saying something about it" part.

C: It literally is just a "This would be fun to put in." Well, it wouldn't be fun to put in, and also, like, you are not Chuck Supernatural, so.

G: No, but like, the reality of the situation now would be that Aziraphale has a Good Omens book in the bookshop, so like, either this is something Aziraphale has for some fucking reason - why? I don't know. - or like, this is like, something that is being thrust upon Gabriel specifically [C: Okay.], which I also find interesting.

C: No, it's in the bookshop.

G: And since you do not give a shit about it, I assume- yeah. But like, the bookshop right now.

C: Oh, you think- Okay, see, when this happened on the screen, Danica also thought it had to have some kind of plot relevance or mean something like, on a meta level, blah blah blah, but it doesn't. Like, it doesn't. It's just Neil Gaiman thinking, "Wouldn't it be funny if," and it's like, not funny, and it's just confusing, ‘cause it's stupid. [laughs] Is how I feel about it.

G: Well, I will watch through the rest of the season, and I will make up my mind by the end of it. [C: Alright.] But I did like it. Am I going to be the Gabriel defender in this fucking-

C: You can do that. That can be your life.

G: Yeah. Well. So. We go to the last scene of this episode, where Aziraphale is sitting by a stone by the edge of a cliff. [laughs] He's like, crying and shit.

C: Yeah. He's worrying his hands in his lap.

G: Yeah, hm. [sympathetically] Crowleyy.

C: That's not even Crowley. [both laughing]

G: I literally am not- [both laugh] Like, maybe I should get concussed again so I can get their names right. [both laugh] I think this is like, surprising to me, because I feel like prior to this, we haven't really- [laughing] [C: What?] G: This is so stupid. We haven't really seen Aziraphale sit. [C laughing]

C: Yeah, you mean [overlapping] at this point in history? Yeah, they've been standing the whole time.

G: Yeah. Yes. And so like, seeing Aziraphale sit now and like, he sits like how he sits in present day. But like, he is worried this time, so he's like, fiddling with his hands a bit. But that's Aziraphale! [C: Yeah.] You know? That's Aziraphale. [C: That's my guy.] And this is the beginning of their bench situation. Look at them.

C: No, exactly, exactly, exactly! Yes, correct.

G:  Crowley shows up, and Aziraphale’s like, "Ah, yes, I thought perhaps they might send you." But, like, teary-eyed, sad.

C: Yeah. I think something I like about this is that I feel like there's definitely a version of Aziraphale who could go, like, "It was you! You tempted me into like, going against God," blah blah blah blah blah, "How could you?" But like, I feel like the "I thought they might send you, like, to collect me" thing, like, the use of the "they," it's like, clearly "No, I think that your actions that other day were completely unrelated to like, the Hell politics going on in this specific situation, and like, if you're here to take me to Hell, it is fully based off of their orders, and not because you wanted this."

G: Aziraphale stands up very dramatically [C: Mm-hm.] and collect himself, and he goes, [laughs] "I'm ready to go." [C: "To Hell."] [laughing] As I've said, I understand that this is a very sad scene [C laughs] [C: Yeah.], but god, it's so funny! He's so fucking funny. But he's like, "I'm ready to go to Hell." And Crowley's just like, "I'm not taking you to Hell."

C: Well, Crowley sorta looks at him, and then takes a seat. And I feel that's nice. It's like a, he's not reassuring him out loud yet, but it is like a, "There's not gonna be any immediate action." [G: "I'm sitting down," yeah.] "This is like, a calm thing. Like, we can take some time."

G: Crowley says, "I'm not taking you to Hell, angel."

C: Maybe it is a pet name! I take everything back! Maybe it is! [both laug] Oh my god! They're in love! [laughing]

G: They're in wuv. [C screams]

G: Well, Aziraphale goes like, "Okay. Why not?" Crowley says, "Well, I don't think you'd like it."

C: Yeah. But it is a bit gentler. Like, as a sentence, [G: Oh yeah, for sure.] it seems like it's supposed to be like, a fun, cocky thing, but like, the way that they say it, it's just like, "Yeah. Well, I don't think you'd like it."

G: I say it like that because, like, I say it a bit disbelief, because, like, I know for a fact at the end of this season [C: Oh.], Aziraphale will ask Crowley to go back to Heaven. [C: Yeah!] And obviously, it's a very different situation, right? But still. [C: Yeah.] Aziraphale's like, [dramatically] "Yeah, but like, you have to. I'm like you now. [both laughing] A demon." [laughing] He's so dramatic. And then Crowley does the cutest, cutest, cutest fucking thing, where, like, you know, starts laughing, just gently, like, in a ribbing, you know, like, smiling, grinning in a ribbing way. And goes like, "Sorry, you think you're a demon? With your-" and then does like the little wavy hands at the end of the sentence, and goes like, "With your curly little- and your neat white-" And it's so cute!

C: Yeah, on the "neat white," I don't know what the gesture- It's like, a hooves gesture. It's like a four-legged animal walking sort of thing.

G: Yeah, well, Aziraphale is like, [distressed] "I'm a fallen angel! I lied. To thwart the will of God!"

C: Yeah. Which means that he is finally willing to admit that, like, the "I don't think that is actually what God wants" was just him saying that to feel better.

G: And Crowley just says, "You did. But I'm not gonna tell anybody. Are you?"

C: Aziraphale just shakes his head.

G: Crowley is like, "Nothing has to change, does it?" And Aziraphale asks, "But what am I?" Ahh. Crowley says, "You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can." [C: Yeah.] Aziraphale asks the exact same question he asked when Crowley referred to himself as this, and he goes, "That sounds..." [C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.] And, you know, Crowley completes the sentence for him. Like, "Lonely?" "Yeah." And Aziraphale says, you know, "But you said it wasn't."

C: Also, the "Yeah" is sort of like, Crowley's not making eye contact, like, they're sort of just looking off, and they say it pretty quietly, in a way that's meant to sound casual, but it's like, "Aw. Augh."

G: Crowley says something that he has been saying this entire time, which is, "I'm a demon. I lied." [C: Yeah.] And that's the end of our episode.

C: Camera goes out and zooms out, and it just shows the backs of the two of them as they sit on opposite ends of that rock, overlooking the cliff. And- agh! Like, the music is so nice. There's like, strings and shit throughout, like, the end of this all. It's soo- It's so much. They're going to sit on benches and things like, on opposite ends from each other for 4500 more years. Until that fucking bus. [G: Yeah.] It's crazy. It's crazy.

G: I mean, like, the thing is, throughout this episode, I didn't mention it earlier because I think it's more appropriate to discuss it here, but like, when they were in that fucking cellar and they're waiting out the storm or whatnot, I like, started crying when they were talking. [C: Aww.] You know, while Aziraphale was gorging [C laughs] himself on that ox. And like, you know, they're just sitting down, and they're like, "Well, isn't it lonely?" "What's that?" And then, you know, this scene comes, and I don't cry, but it's the same sentiment of like, "God. They go way back." [C: Yeah.] They have been friends for so long. [C: Yeah.] And there's so much history there, and like, it's a lot. I mean, the thing is, you know, when Crowley says it, "How long have we been friends? 6000 years." You know, like, the reference is to Eden. But I think this is where it starts, really, right? Like, this is where they become friends. [C: Yeah.] This is their first act of rebelling together. It doesn't end with a note of like, victory or anything. It ends with, like, you know. "Oh, it's lonely." "It's sad." [C: Yeah.] And, you know, they're so different from the people and the institution that they're supposed to share the same motivations as. And it's like, "Oh, it's so lonely. It's so isolating." But like, we know how this pans out, and we know that, like, through the years, they will find comfort in each other, and they will find company with each other.

C: Yeah. Now that we're talking about this, I think it is interesting that "That sounds lonely" was Aziraphale's first thought at all. Like, I feel like it tells us more about what he gets out of being part of Heaven. Like, he likes being a part of a group, even if that group makes him feel crazy and stupid all the time.  Like, what does Aziraphale get out of being part of Heaven? He's like, worried that if he's not part of Heaven, he'll be lonely. Isn't he already? Like, what? What's the sitch?

G: I don't know. I mean, also, the recognition here that it's so important to Aziraphale that he's an angel. And like, it is. Again, I know for a fact that towards the end of this season, Aziraphale goes back to Heaven to like, fix it or whatever, and I think seeing this - and of course the season is long, and according to Crystal, arduous, [C laughs] but like, seeing here, right now, having seen Season 2, Episode 2, I'm like, "I think it makes sense for Aziraphale to want that." [C: Yeah.] 'Cause like, it is important to him that he is an angel, and it is important to him that, like, if not the will of God, then the good, the greater good is enacted. For Crowley, being a demon, we constantly are like, "Oh, it's just a job," but like, for Aziraphale, the thinking of like, "Good shall prevail," and this and that and this and that, like, it matters to him so deeply. And when that question of what is good is uprooted, it hurts him very deeply. I think it makes sense that Aziraphale will want to fix Upstairs, right?

C: Yeah, like, I guess?

G: I mean from here. From where we are now. Yeah.

C: Sure. I don't know. I feel like I didn't really see it.

G: You have always said to me like, the- Yeah, you always say to me the decision didn't make sense, but, I don't know.

C: It seems incongruous with the point of his arc in Season 1, I guess, is my main issue with it. And, like, the whole, like, "our own side" thing, like, had the implicit "isolated from Heaven and Hell" part of it.

G: I don't know, either. I don't wanna- 'cause like, it's impossible to talk about these things without gleaning something from it in terms of like, "Well, how does this apply in real life?" I wanted to be perfectly clear that I do not think that like, [both laugh] systems can be fixed from the inside. You know, like- But like, in this situation, I don't know. The expansion of the kind of angels that we see- [C: Like, Muriel's nice.] No, exactly. Like, that addition of like, the expansion of that perspective, I think, lends to that kind of reading that-

C: Yeah. "Is it just the archangels that are dicks?"

G: Not even that "Is this true or not?" It's just that "Is it reasonable for Aziraphale to believe this?"

C: Yeah. Crowley's been lonely for 504 years. When are they gonna see each other again? I'm so miserable.

G: You know, I've been going back and forth with this for fiveever. Have I mentioned this in the podcast? [C: I don't know.] Halley's comet? Have I mentioned this?

C: Not on the podcast.

G: I've been going back and forth with this since, like, I think Episode 3 of Season 1. I was like, "Oh, isn't it so wild that, like, you know, Halley's comet for us, it's a lifetime, but for them it's just a blink of an eye." I said that. And then, a couple eps later, I was like, "It's not, though." Like, the time that passes is the time that passes for them. It's not quick. It doesn't come quicker. It's the same amount of time, same amount of experiences that happens between this and that. And like, I thought about it again this episode, because it's like, even after I said that, of like, "Oh, but it's not just a blink for them," I was thinking of it in terms of like, the time that they are apart from each other, like, those times are long. But also, the time that they have together is incomprehensibly big. And it's like, I don't know. [emotional] It makes me- It makes me emotional! [C: Yeah.] Like, it's been forever. Literally. They're gonna go through so much. [C: Uh-huh.] And there's going to be forever more to look forward to. Isn't that crazy?

C: Yeah. [teary] And they haven't even tried penetration yet! [G laughing] God! They're so much! Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

G: God, remember last episode when I was like, "They don't even have chemistry! [C laughs] Also, love is not real." Well, they do have chemistry, and love is real.

C: And love is so real it's unreal! [G laughs] - C: Grey, what did you think about this episode?

G: Well, I quite liked it! [C: Yeah.] Quite liked it. I like it!

C: I also liked a lot of it. Some of it, I found quite annoying, which does spoil my viewing of it a bit, but a lot of it was good. So, Best Line/Worst Line? Oh boy. I haven't thought about it.

G: Well. I mean, I- okay, I'm not gonna put it as my- not best line or worst line. Just a funny as hell line. [C: Yes.] I thought that the "I'm ready to go" was so funny. [both laugh] Like, I'm sorry to Aziraphale, you're having the worst time of your life so far. But like, girl. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. I think the line that sticks most with me is just the "You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can," and then the Crowley equivalent as "a demon who goes along with Hell as far as he can." [G: Mm-hm.] Like, yeah. What an apt description of them! Ah!

G: Well, best line, I think would be- Oh, I'll say my best line- I will represent the Gabriel girlies in the chat [C: Uh-huh.] by saying that my best line is "Whaddayaknow?" I genuinely thought it was so funny. I was laughing so hard. I thought it was so funny.

C: Happy for you.

G: [laughing] Thank you. Is that your worst line now, for retribution?

C: My worst line- You know, I really wanted to say, "It was a nice day." but my worst line is Nina- or sorry. Is Maggie- [laughs] Mm. Okay. My worst line is Maggie saying that she's in love. You're not. The end.

C: Oh, I have another best line [C: Oh, okay], which is, "Quite sure." [C makes pained sound] They literally trust each other so hard and so raw. [C: Yeah.] Like, it's unreal. Ah. I don't know what my worst line is. I don't know. This is one of those episodes where I'm like, "I don't have a worst line, because I think it's all good!" But you know what? I think, okay, here's my worst line. "Actually, we're not friends. We barely know each other. We just got trapped in the shop when the power went out." [C: Yeah.] I really don't like that line, because it's like, "Oh, so you are aware. But like, you're gonna do this anyway," [laughs] you know?

C: Are aware- oh, that they're not friends?

G: Like the writer. [C: Yeah.] I mean, people don't have to be friends to date, but I do think they need to like each other to date.

C: Yeah, and they don't like each other. [G: - isn't happening! Yeah.]

C: Okay, gayest, transest. I mean, the eating watching was pretty fucking horny

G: I like the hand on chest moment.

C: Oh, fuck, I forgot! Oh my god! No, yeah, that one; sorry, that one, the end. And honestly, I don't even think that the eating one is my second gayest moment. I think my second gayest moment are Aziraphale’s hands on his hips [laughs] when the goats appear. [G giggling] Yeah.

G: Well, what's your transgenderiest moment?

C: Oh, "This... person wanted to know where the kids were."

G:  I mean, it's also mine, so. [C: Hell yeah.] Predictions and ratings, right?

C: Oh, wait, your prediction last episode is that we would get a clue regarding Gabriel. Did we even really get a clue regarding Gabriel? Like, Aziraphale hasn't even investigated it yet.

G: Yeah, but it's just a clue. [both laughing] Next week is the investigation. [C: Real.] Well, my prediction for next week is there's gonna be an investigation, and Aziraphale is going to drive the car.

C: Wow! How could you have guessed such a thing?

G: Who would have thought? Who would have thunk, even? I know for a fact that this scene happens, because one time I was scrolling through Twitter before I finally blocked the- or at least muted the Good Omens official page, and one of their - you know, like, on Twitter, there's like, this like, bait tweets, where it's like, "What is your favorite scene that involves a phone?" or whatever. [C: Oh.] And that was like, the question for this one. "What's your favorite phone call scene?" And the Good Omens Twitter account posted a video of [C: Aww, yeah.] Aziraphale calling Crowley, and Crowley like, picking up the phone and being like, "A.Z. Fell & Co. Bookshop," or whatever. "If you- we don't have the book that you're looking for [C: Yeah!], and if we don't- if we do have it, we're not selling it to you." [C: Yeah. Yeah.] And I thought that was really cute. And I know that happens next episode, for- I mean, I think. 'Cause like, Aziraphale's somewhere else, and this is like, a chance for them to separate, due to the investigation.

C: Yeah. What if love was real?

G: What if love was real? I think in that scene, Aziraphale - because I watched the whole thing. I'm so sorry. I have no self control. The moment it started playing, I was just completely entranced. [C laughs] But I think Aziraphale at some point goes like, "You're really not selling any books, though, aren't you?" And I think it's so cute! It's so cute. Other predictions. You know what? I'm predicting that I will like wherever the fuck is Beelzebub and Gabriel's story goes. Why not?

C: Okay, do you have any predictions about what it will be? Like, why did Gabriel lose his memory? What's the deal with that? Do you have thoughts?

G: I mean, actually, the memory, no. But like, I think it's safe to assume that the changing the records in the jukebox is a Beelzebub thing. We haven't even mentioned that it's a thing with Crowley. Like-

C: Oh, what do you mean? Oh, with the Queen and the Bentley?

G: Just like the Queen CDs, yeah. I mean, I don't know. Like, I'm just in it for the ride, baby. I have no predictions.

C: Alright. No predictions. Alright. Ratings out of 10. [G: Personal rating!] We forgot to do this last episode because we were stewing in a sea of hatred [G: Yeah.], so I guess- alright, what's your-

G: I already said mine from last episode to you personally, and it's [C: Yeah, you said-] [both] 3 out of 10. [laughs]

C: And I said mine to you, which was 5, though, maybe I should bump it down. I was like, waffling between a 4 and a 5.

G: Well, okay. Give it a 4.

C: I mean, I haven't seen Episode 1 since then, so I don't know. Sure. It's a 4. Why not? Okay, this one.

G: I think this is a 10 out of 10.

C: Seriously?

G: Like, this is a 10 out of 10 for me. Completely revived my love for Good Omens.

C: My goodness. Okay. Alright. I was gonna say maybe an 8? But maybe not even that. A 7 or an 8. ‘Cause, okay, I gave Episode 3 an 8 because I was like, “The flashbacks were a 10, and then the rest were like, more of a 6 or whatever situation.” So-

G: But I do love the frontbacks in this one?

C: The what?

G: Or is it the flashfronts? I don't know. [laughing] I thought the current day stuff this episode was fine.

C: I found most of it annoying.

G: I only hate the Maggie- Yeah, I hate the Maggie and Nina stuff. So I'll give it a 9.5, actually. Oh, but we only [overlapping]- we said we were only doing whole numbers, so, agh.

C: Okay, I'm gonna say an 8. Just know it's more of a 7.5 than an 8.

G: Okay, I'm gonna say a 9.

C: Mm. I suppose that’s it for this week’s episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 3: “Chapter 3: I Know Where I'm Going featuring the minisode The Resurrectionists.” Ugh.

G: "I Know Where I'm Going"? Hm. Okay.

C: Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

G: Follow us on social media! We interact through the accounts set up for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties. So we are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com, and email us at [email protected].

C: Thanks to everyone who’s donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod! See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[Garageband "Everyday" plays] - [beep]

G: Can, I say, like, I mean, this episode doesn't reckon with the things- like, the themes of the Book of Job that I connected with. So like, it doesn't even matter! Like, it doesn't even- like, me rereading it- Also, I forgot how fucking annoying everybody in the Book of Job is. [both laugh] Like, every single person who speaks in that thing. Like, they go through so many rounds of defending their stances, and like, every single time Job speaks, I'm like, "I mean, he has a point. That's probably the end of it." [both laugh] And then there's a fucking "And Bildad the Shuhite asks-" [both laugh] and it's like, "Have you not done? Are you not fucking done?" [C laughs] Yeah, truly a moment. [C: Yeah.] Also, that random guy who just shows up? What is that? I mean, I read that like, people say that like, "Oh, that's probably like, the reason why it's so weird is that it's just like, an extra chapter that somebody added, like, way way way way later or something," but it is very odd.

C: Yeah. Yeah. - [beep]

C: Yeah. "A companion to owls" is a line in the book of Job, right? What is the context of that?

G: I actually- I don't know.

C: Okay, is it just like, "Job's such a nice guy, he's friends with owls and all that shit"?

G: Wait. I'm going to look up the word "owl." No, it's just "knowledge" over and over again. [C: Huh.] I mean, there's an ostrich. Could have been companions to ostriches. [laughs]

C: Real.

G: Let's look up like what actually- let's actually look that up, though.

C: "When I looked for good, then evil came unto me, and when I waited for light, there came darkness." Blah blah blah. "I went mourning without the sun. I stood up, and I cried in the congregation. I am a brother to dragons and a companion to owls."

G: Wait, what- what chapter-

C: 30:29?

G: Well, it's not what is here in mine, so.

C: Oh, yeah, I've been looking at the King James version.

G: [laughing] I was right. It says here, "I am a brother to jackals and a companion to ostriches." So I was right with my ostriches comment, yeah.

C: Oh, slay! Okay? Well, yeah. And are you looking at like, the New International or-

G: World English Bible, Catholic Book Order.

C: Oh, Catholic Book Order. Yeah.

G: [laughing] Oh, shut the fuck up! [both laughing] Well, I mean, it was the one I could download a PDF for [C: Yeah. Yeah.] 'cause I don't wanna read on a website, yeah.

C: That makes sense. Interesting! It's dragons and owls in the King James version, but it's jackals and ostriches. Huh! Translation's so fun.

G: There was a line here where it's like, it talked about it- It has the words "Adam" and "transgression" in the same sentence, and I was like, "Oh my god, just like Benedick for real." [laughing] It's so Crover. [C laughs] God.

C: Ah, yeah. - [beep]

C: I have got to relisten to “Being Alive” on loop, for like, the rest of the day. It's been a while since I've had a "Being Alive" day.

G: Yeah, right now, I'm in a "People Will Say We're in Love," loop, so RIP.

C: Yeah. If anyone has the- if anyone has a bootleg of the 2019 Oklahoma!, please please please [G laughing] just email us-

G: With the Damon Daunno, yeah.

C: I've been trying. I've been trying. Pleeease? Please please pleeease. I need to see Ali Stroker, like, in my eyeballs, and I need to see, like, the new takes on the musical in general. I mean, I don't think they like, interact with the US historical revisionism of it, but, like the misogyny, it seems like they really do like, lean into- It's cool. Just give me the bootleg. Thank you! - [beep]

G: Wait. Let's let's do a little aside, and I'm gonna look up these fucking playlists. "Crowley." [singing] Everyday, it's a-getting closer, going faster than a rollercoaster-

C: Oh, fucking hell, I forgot that "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is on Aziraphale's! I hope we all die.

G: [laughing] That's so corny! That's so corny! I hope we all die. Okay, Crowley is "I'm in Love With My Car," [laughing] "Every Breath You Take." That's so funny! "I'll Be Your Mirror." Okay, fine! Fine. Fine. Fine. Well, what's- wait! Where's Aziraphale?

C: I sent it to you. It's on the next- the next thing.

G: Why is it separated?

C: 'Cause they released them, like, on different days.

G: "What a Wonderful World." Well, that's cute. [C: Yeah.] "Earth Angel"? That's a fucking Destiel song. Everybody disappear. [C: Oh, okay.] "Angel Eyes." This is so corny! Who made this?

C: It is. I mean, this was during like, the everything strike, so just like, some rando. [G laughing]

G: Yeah. Well. It's cute.

C: Well. So that is what the playlist setup was referencing, I suppose.

G: [singing] Everyday, it's a-getting closer. Okay, let's go back! - [beep]

G: I mean, I am a person who, when I was a kid, I watched the movie Click, featuring Adam Sandler-

C: What? What movie?

G: It's a movie called Click, featuring Adam Sandler. [C: Uh-huh.] And I thought it was a magnificent movie. I thought it was very wonderful. It was the first time I heard the song "Linger" by The Cranberries. [C: Ohh.] I thought it was the best song ever.

C: I mean, it is.

G: I was posting about that song on my Facebook. [laughs] And I thought it was a wonderful movie. I thought it was a wonderful song. And then, I saw on Twitter that was like, "Oh, straight men really got tricked into thinking Click is a good movie by The Cranberries." [both laughing] And I was like, "Oh, damn!"

C: And were you a straight man at the time?

G: No, well, absolutely not. But you know what? It well may be. [C: It well may be.] I was tricked into thinking Click was a good movie because of "Linger" by The Cranberries.

C: I mean, like, "Do you have to let it linger?" is the question of the century, so.

G: For real. And you know what? Every day, it's a-getting closer.

C: Yeah. - [beep]

G: But isn't your top three like, a fucking, David Tennant song?

C: Don't you-! I had- [G laughing] No. No.

G: It is!

C: I mean, maybe. No- no one needs to- I don't have to answer that question. I want a lawyer.

G: What was that song? "Sunshine on Leith"? Is it that one?

C: I want a lawyer! [laughing] I want a lawyer! [both laughing]

G: That is truly amazing of you. You know, when you first made me listen to that, I was truly appalled by how bad [C laughing] David Tennant's voice is. [both laughing] I was shocked to my core. [both laughing] I was like, "Why did they wake him up, like, [C laughing] at fucking 4 AM in the morning, and then make him pop into the recording booth immediately [C screams], and then made him do one take, and then settled with that?" Like, "What is this?"

C: [laughing] It's not that bad! [G laughing] It's not good. I'll give you that. Like, he's clearly not a person who sings. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. You know my number one song of all time is "That's Enough, Let's Get You Home."?

C: Damn. That wasn't even a standout for you when you first listened to the album.

G: Yeah, well, it's really good.

C: It is really good. Oh, god! Dream girl literally- Ah!

G: We haven't even mentioned "Dream girl, come, but keep your hands off me" in this podcast, which is so them. [C: Yeah.] God. "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the door, [both] see all the people." And fucking "Alright, that's enough, let's get you home." Well. [laughs] [C: Well.] God! Also, the line like- what's that? "Of the two things we do on our knees, watch me fold my hands [overlapping] just to crack at my knuckles." Like, hello? [C: Yeah.] Hello! [C: Yeah. Yeah.] So horrible! [C: So horrible.] What if they're so in love it's unreal, but also, it's so miserable?

C: Well, what if?

G: And you know what? We don't have to guess. [laughs]

C: Yeah, it's happening on our screen right now. [G laughing]

G: Yeah. - [beep]

G: I know Gabriel to be the archangel that I dreamt of one time as coming down upon me in my sleep, [laughing] and telling me that I should change my name to Charlie.

C: [laughing] What?

G: Have I never told you this?

C: [laughing] No? What did he look like?

G: I don't know! As in, you know like, when you read books, and it's like, because Gabriel is the angel who went down- [C: To Mary.] who went down on Mary. [C laughing] Fucking funny-ass word. [both laughing] [C: Real.] Well, you know what? No, but like, he is the angel who went down upon Mary and told her that "You're gonna have the Messiah as a child." And I had that dream where that happened to me. I was Mary. But instead of saying, "You're pregnant with the Lord," he said, [both laughing] "You should change your name to Charlie."

C: Well. And did you?

G: Well, no, but I did tell friends that like, "Maybe I should!" Like, "Is this God talking to me?" [both laugh] And then, like, a friend of mine was like, "But you really like the name Grey!" And I was like, "Yeah, you're right. I really do. You know what? God may want me to change my name to Charlie, but I am a person who is driven by-"

C: Defying God's will.

G: Yeah, I'm defying God's will. I'm driven by my own desires and my wills. [C: Yeah.] [C laughing] Charlie. [both laughing]

C: Oh, because at this time, you only knew the Supernatural Gabriel. [G laughs] I'm assuming it was not someone who looked like Supernatural Gabriel.

G: No, it was Biblical Gabriel, yeah. [C: Yeah.] Like, okay, when I was a kid, I read this fucking manga- it was- I mean, "manga," whatever, but I think it's Western-made. It's called [laughing]- it's called Manga Messiah, and it's like, the New Testament in manga form. [C laughs] And I read this religiously! Like, I read it so much it's unreal. I had two copies of it [C laughs], for some reason. I don't even know why I had two copies. But like, I would read it all the time that my teachers would be like, "Can you stop reading that?" And I was like, "Well, it's the Bible. [both laughing] The Bible story." And they're like, "Yeah, but like, we're in class." [both laughing] And the Gabriel I dreamt of, I think- Actually, I'm not sure. But I think it's the Gabriel from that manga.

C: That's so correct of you.

G: [laughing] You know what? I am telling so many stories, but, there's like, one page there where there's a panel, and it's just a closeup of Jesus's face, and I remember going up to my sister once and saying, "Oh, he looks so pogi here!" [C laughs] Pogi, it's a Filipino word for handsome. [C: Yeah.] [laughing] And my sister says, "Don't ever say that again. [laughing] You'll go to Hell!"

C: [laughing] What was the end of the sentence? "Don't ever say that again," what?

G: [laughing] My sister said, "Don't ever say this again. You're gonna go to Hell." [C screams] [both laughing]

C: I mean, a lot of people have like, sexual awakenings via Jesus, though. It's like, a known thing.

G: [laughing] Yeah. But every time I remember that, I'm like, "Oh my god, that's so funny!"

C: Yeah. And you literally are gonna go to Hell.

G: I didn't say anything- anything like- [laughing] I just said he looked pogi! Which is a completely reasonable thing to say. [both laughing]

C: Yeah. Is a man not allowed to aesthetically appreciate Jesus in this day and age?

G: For fucking real. - [beep]

C: And there's a video of like, a bunch of takes of the scene where like, David Tennant says a new thing, like each time-

G: What are the things? Can I see it? Can I see it? Can you send it right now? I need to watch it right now?

C: Do I have it? It's not that interesting, I would say.

G: But you should- Okay, I have access to it. Oh my god! Crowley is so cute! [both laugh] "We never go to the pub." For my what? What is that?

C: Which one?

G: My mai- what?

C: Wait, which one

G: Right after the one where, like, he didn't even get to complete the sentence.

C: Oh, wait, I haven't gotten there yet. Let me check.

Crowley in video audio: Sherry for Angela Lansbury.

G: [laughing] I can hear your audio. That's so wonderful.

Crowley: Hello! Large Talisker, please, and a sherry for my maiden aunt. C: My maiden aunt. [G laughing]

Crowley: Large Talisker, please, and a sherry for the dowager duchess. C: For the dowager duchess.

G: That's so funny! [laughing]

Crowley: - and a sherry for my elderly friend. C: My elderly friend.

G: [laughing] They should have kept the maiden aunt!

Crowley: Large Talisker, please, and a sherry for m- [C whimpers]

C: The last one is "the old ladyyy." [G: Aww.]

C: They're literally married! They're wed! [G makes pained sounds]

G: A sherry for the old lady!

C: Yeah. Like, what if love is indeed real?

G: Well. Ah! It's so real. Well.

C: Yeah. And it was invented 4004 BC, and it keeps being reinvented every single day. [sighs]

G: Yes, exactly. And they haven't even tried penetration yet, so.

C: [laughing] They haven't! [G laughs] - [beep]

C: Who laughs at your jokes?

G: Noo! [C makes pained sound] [G makes pained sound] Oh, god.

C: I'm so cringe and so fail.

G: It really is about "Don't dance with me for the entire fucking night. People will think that it's alright with me." [C: Yeah.] And they are right. It is alright. [C: Yeah!] It's alright for them. [C: It sure is. And, you know-]

G: You know, for anyone curious, this is how me and Crystal talk on a daily basis. [C laughing] Like, we just quote things to each other, and then go, "For sure." [both laughing] "For fucking real." "It well may be."

C: Yeah.

G: Not a single original is shared among us, yeah.

C: Nope! Not at all. Not at all. - [beep]

C: You didn't even like Emma. (2020), Grey.

G: You know what? I didn't.

C: It's like, the best movie that's ever happened to like, the world, and you didn't even like it.

G: Here's the thing. I didn't, but I think you reblogged a gifset [laughs] of it the other day with like, the gifs from the movie and then like, what it says in the book, and how they adapted it, and I was like, “Okay, I'm gonna give this another shot.” [C: Aww!] So, who knows? [C: Thank you.] Power of gifsets on Tumblr.

C: Yeah. Truly the most important movie of all time, besides, like, the other movies that are actually good. [G laughs] It's good too, though. [both] Yeah. - [beep]

G: Do you know why I was so taken by Job? I mean, this is going to be an outtake, whatever. You know why I was so taken by Job?

C: The Book of Job?

G: Yes. I read it when I was- it was tenth grade, and so when I was 13, I- that's when my psoriasis really started. So, grade 10 is 16. So like, it's been a while, and it's really bad. And do you remember how like, in the Book of Job, he loses everything. [C: Right.] Children, everything. And his first reaction was like, "Oh, I must have done something wrong. I'm gonna go on my knees, and I'm going to tell God that like, I'm sorry and also thank you for everything still. The Lord gives, and the Lord taketh away." And then Satan was like, "Well, it's because you haven't hurt him yet. Why don't you [laughing] fucking give him a skin disease. See how miserable he's going to be." [C laughs] And then I thought that was so funny, 'cause I was like, "Damn." [overlapping] That was worse than killing his children? [both laugh] "This is the worst thing Satan can think of, and I'm experiencing it right now." [C: Yeah.] So that's pretty fun! Also, like, the year prior to that, I was like, having such intense like- 'cause I mean, I knew I was attracted to women from a very young age. It was like, never a question. I never had a realization. It was just what is. But like, around ninth grade is when I started like, having like, relationships and stuff, and like, I got it in my head that I was being punished for that [C: Oh.], and that's why I had like, debilitating psoriasis [C: Oh.], to the point that I like, stopped praying because I was like, “God won't listen to me because He hates me for this. So I'm just going to ask the people who I think God won't hate to pray for me instead.” So like, it really was a- it really was a time! [C: Yeah.] Like, reading Job at that moment in my life was like- I mean, it sounds so corny, but like, it did change my life. [C: Oh, yeah.] It like, changed how I saw things and everything. Like, I don't think the purpose of the Book of Job was like, “Oh, how does it feel to have a chronic illness?” but it is what it was for me, you know? Well, I think maybe- I mean, you know, whatever. Yeah. Fun stuff!

C: [laughs] Fun stuff. - [beep]

C: It is nice when, like, people like, think you're a guy on the street, and then you like, have to just nod at them because if you talk, they'll change their mind.

G: [laughing] One time I was in public transportation, and these two ladies were seated in front of me, and I was just chilling and not even thinking about anything. And I go, "Hey, can you get this money to the driver?" 'Cause like, I was in the very back, so I can't, you know. And like, the lady whips her head at me, and like, is like, has this look of shock on her face, and, like, you have to remember that I'm not even thinking about gender in this moment, like, hasn't even crossed my mind. So she delivers the money up front, and then she turns to her friend, and they're both a bit older, so like, they're they're talking a bit loud, you know? And she whispers, but in a way that everyone in that fucking van can hear, whispers to her friend - in Filipino, but I'm translating - she whisper, "Oh! The person behind it is a girl! [C laughs] I thought it was a guy!" And I was sitting there like, [laughing] "Why must you say this in front of me?" [C: Yeah.] And the thing is, she covers her hand the way you would whisper, but like, in the other direction. [C laughing] Like, she covers towards the other direction [both laughing], so I still could see it so clearly. I thought it was so funny. I thought it was so funny. [C: It is.] And you know what's so fucking annoying is like, when you tell cis people this, they're like, "Oh my god! It's so terrible that you have to experience this!" And I'm like, I'm having fun. Like, I think this is funny. [laughing]

C: Yeah, this is wonderful! It means what I'm doing is working. Let's keep this energy going!

G: [laughing] No, for fucking real! For fucking real. - [beep]

C: There are birds around on the floor. [G: Yeah.] Are they crows? I don't know what bird species they are.

G: No, I think they're pigeons. I think they're pigeons.

C: They are? But they're black. Like, fully.

G: No, they're not. They're gray!

C: What?

G: [typing] "Birds Good Omens." I don't think that's gonna work. Why not? You know, if you Google Bildad the Shuhite, it's Crowley who shows up, [laughs] which I think is so wonderful.

C: Instead of the actual guy in the Book of Job?

G: Yes, exactly. [C: Real.] But you know what? There's- I mean, the Book of Job guy doesn't even have a face, so who give a shit. [C: True.] And also, he's annoying as hell.

C: I mean, Aziraphale and Crowley are kind of annoying during the minisode too, though. Like, whenever they're around humans-

G: Why? Oh yeah, for sure.

C: Whenever they're around humans, they're just having a silly goofy time at each other, and everyone else is having like, the worst life that they've ever lived.

G: These are-! Okay, they're not pigeons. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were right, you were right, [C laughing] etc etc.

C: "I was wrong, you were right," yeah.

G: Well, what are they, then? What are they?

C: I have no clue. Like, I want them to be crows just for the purpose of like- well, I want- I'm still trying to figure out if Crowley has an affinity for crows.

G: But like, aren't crows like, big? Isn't a crow like, big?

C: Eh, kind of? I mean, ravens are very big. Let me look up like, "crow bird," and then see if they look at all like this guy.

G: You know what's so wonderful about birds is like, you think you know what a bird looks like [C: Mm.], but you don't. [C: That's true.] Like, you see a bird, you're like, "Ooh."

C: I really can't tell-

G: That's not- those are not crows.

C: They- I mean- What are they?

G: They look like grey-winged... blackbirds.

C: Okay.

G: [laughing] It's so funny when you look up like, "black bird with a bit of grey," and [laughing] like, the result is like, "a grey-winged blackbird." Like, yeah! I fucking bet.

C: No. But these blackbirds have like, orange beaks.

G: Yeah, it's not them.

C: If anyone knows birds- I don't think that they don't look like crows. Like-

G: But they're so tiny! Look at them, they're small!

C: I guess. I guess. Like, you could look at those photos and say that's the same bird, couldn't you? I don't know.

G: I love birds! Look at them.

C: It doesn't matter. It literally doesn't matter at all, in any way, shape, or form.

G: I need to get into bird-watching. Somebody needs to birdwatch. Oh! Is this a crow? The one you sent me?

C: Yeah.

G: But like, look at their beaks. It's not the- it's not right. [C: I can sorta see a bit of a-] Somebody who knows about birds- [C: Yeah, okay, if anyone knows anything about birds-] You know what? I'm going to send this to Rese, and maybe we'll get an answer in two to three days [laughs], which is her response time. [both laughing]

C: Sounds good. And if anyone else knows things about birds and knows what species the birds in the minisode “A Companion to Owls” are, then let us know. - [beep]

G: Do you think Crowley would Will Wood "Tomcat Disposables"?

C: Hmm. Maybe. Yeah. Why not? I mean, she doesn't have a landlord, so-

G: I love how I say that, but like, it's not even a reference to the song "Tomcat Disposables," [laughs] it's a reference to the backstory of the song "Tomcat Disposables," but for fucking real, though. I don't- I mean, I think Crowley can, must, and should befriend- No! But... [C: Hm?] He's a snake.

C: [laughing] Aww! Yeah. Goddammit. [G: Yeah.] Instead of- okay, are we cutting this out, or should I explain?

G: Okay, let's put it at the end.

C: Okay, right. So the backstory behind "Tomcat Disposables," a song by Will Wood, was that he befriended a rat that was in his apartment and would like, leave food out for it and things for like, a few months, but then eventually, his landlord said that he had to kill it, so like, he set out rat poison for the rat, and then it died, and it was a very sad thing for him. So okay, yeah, so I think the Crowley equivalent is like, befriended the rat, had a great time, and then one day, [G laughing] while they were in snake form and weren't thinking as clearly, was like, "Oh, I'm hungry."

G: [laughing] Did you mean he ate the rat?

C: He fucking ate the rat! [both laughing] Yeah. Sorry, Crowley.

G: For fucking real! [laughing] Yeah. Yeah. Why not?

C: Yeah. Isn't that what love is sometimes? - [beep]

G: Oh, by the way, Rese said the legs make it that these are crows. [laughing]

C: Oh my god, I was right?? I was right??

G: [laughing] Fine! Fine.

C: Fuck yeah! [G laughing] I do nothing but win, day after day, night after night.

G: [laughing] You were right, you were right, [C laughing] I was wrong, you were right.

C: Yayyy!

G: What a stupid, fucking thing that they do. [C laughs] I still cannot get over it. What a fucking pervert, as you said.

C: Yeah, we were talking about this afterwards, and we were like, "If this was like, a fun-" Like, within any regular friendship, they would laugh at the end of it, 'cause it's like-

G: They would chuckle about it!

C: Yeah. It'd be like, "That's like, a stupid thing that we do, like, as friends. Tee-hee! That was fun." [G: Yeah.] But like, they don't! Like, what is that? Like, the way that the tension breaks, the way that it ends is Aziraphale going, "Very nice," like, in like, his like, pervert voice, [G laughs] so like, what- What was that? What was it?

G: Like, Aziraphale literally is the king of doing like, a happy little wriggle when he's amused [C: Exactly!], and he doesn't do it this time! Like, this is not the intention of this scene!

C: It's- yeah! It's not to- like, it's not like, amusing to them in like, a funny way. Like, what is it? What are they getting out of this? Like, spank bank material? What's happening? [G laughing]

G: What is this?

C: What is this?

#transcript #rubbishpod

[jackienautism]

hi again! haven't played a ton since i last sent my ask lol because. well. i was putting off picking a house because i feel soso sad not picking my besties the eagles.... i think i'm gonna play quite a bit more tonight now that i've reached that point though! and yeah the second to last battle on CF is the dimitri one.

i'm definitely gonna get linhardt's a support next playthrough with the eagles! i'm gonna be more conscious of whose supports i'm getting next time because i didn't really realize what i was doing until like... halfway through the game?

the paired endings i ended up with were ferdinand and hubert, caspar and petra, and dorothea and sylvain. i really liked ferdinand and hubert's, caspar and petra's was pretty good, and while i didn't mind dorothea and sylvain's, if i knew what i was doing, i don't think i'd pair them up again lol.

speaking of which... i think i've decided i'm going to recruit petra this time as well instead of another lion.... i hear she and dorothea have a good paired ending and i only got up to their b support last time around. plus she has supports with claude which i'm interested to see. i say i'm going to recruit her instead of a lion but the more i think about it.... i'm probably gonna end up snagging ashe this time lol.

and. i think after i do a full playthrough of each route i'm gonna do a playthrough where i recruit everyone i can LMAO.

looking forward to seeing whatever it is that happens with marianne! she is such a fave for me honestly the more i think about her the more attached i get....

i have to be honest i have. no CLUE what classes my guys ended up as last time. sylvain and ferdie were on horses...... caspar was punching things by the end (i had him on a wyvern for a while but he was doing no damage and dying super easily so. i switched him over). uhhhh. and i'm blanking on everyone else. OH bernie was a sniper. i'll go check maybe? i think i have a save with everyone close to the end.

and thank you!!! i hope you have a good day/night as well :) will keep you posted on this playthrough as well lol

HELLOOOO sorry fo rtaking a day or two to respond! hope youve been doing well in the meantime! and yeah....i feel that so hard </3 took me also a bit to start up my verdant wind playthrough, let alone FINISH it. its just so hard not being w/ the black eaggles the beloveds.... it hurt esp knowing that i wouldn't be on edie's side too tbh ): wish you the best of luck going through this route jdfgndfg esp if you choose not to recruit all the BE. DO tell what happens later on w/ them if you don't recuit them though👀

YIPPEE have fun getting his A support! its obv gonna be a bit but! hopefully you see it as worth it :] and ah okay... you mean like. the supports you get between the other characters? or do you mean which characters you get A supports w/ byleth :o? regardless, thats what the first route is for yk? esp since you havent played a single fire emblem game prior... im sure you did just fine! the support mechanic is rly fun, but it can def be a bit much, esp if you dont rly know whats going on. atleast you know what youre doing now though!

dfkdfn fair enough on dorothea and sylvain. i cant say much bc i have yet to go thorugh their supports let alone see their ending, but yeah them being paired def is not my first choice. esp knowing how sylvain is and all... even dorothea w/ any noble is a bit like. eh? for me tbh. i guess an exception being edie i suppose. or maybe im mainly thinking of ingrid. either way. her or dorothea being paired w/ any noble guy is a bit......... iddk for me kfdngkfg i soroooort of enjoy dorothea and ferdie though. i remember rly liking ferdie and hubert's supports and ending... will def have to watch and get petra and caspar's!

OHH MAN I CANT REMEMBER MUCH OF IT BUT LIKE THE LAST LINE OR SO OF DOROTHEA AND PETRA'S MAKES ME SO ): BUT IN SUCH A GOOD WAY. THEYRE SO SWEET. getting petra and ashe seems like a good plan to me! esp if you wanna see petra and claudes suppports... i only got to their c support but i rly liked what was going on dfgndg petra was ina treee. and that is all i will say. but yeah </3 have fun fighting your besties later in th egame i guess<//3 esp if you only recruit petra and ashe<///3

YEAAAGH THOSEROUTES ARE ALWAYS FUN.... bc it truly is interesting to see everyone's thoughts and stuff regarding the current events post timeskip.... since i assume its unique depending on which route youre playing. and its fun seeing what they have to say. esp if theyre not from the route's original house. so have fun w/ that!!!! i personally always recruit everyone i can just cause (or atleast i try) bc. i hate fighting them later on. but once again. angst is good

were you able to do marianne's paralogue :o? bc i think that is where the bulk of her character and backstory explanation comes from... my route of verdant wind was split in half (since i took like a 2 year long break LOL) so i cant remember exactly what happenss w/ marianne specifically... but she is therr w/ the rest of the golden deer which is alll that matters<3

no worries if you cant remember or cant find out man! i was just curious ! since theres just SOOO much you can do yk? sylvain and ferdie were on horses for me as well... but tbh im w/ you here i cant remember what i did exactly for my crimson flower run fdgndfg i think i had caspar on a wyvern as well? he worked out ok i think for me so i wonder what happened hmmmm. i watched a video and read the comments and a bunch of ppl were saying to like put everyone on a horse or wyvern or pegasus dfkgndfg bc tbh.... the mobility is SOOOO important and good. but i understand not going for it since the classes are pretty limited if you wanna do mounted or flying. but it has personally worked out very well for me. esp if my non mounted classes have a large movement range (aka non mage or non heavy armored classes) i tend to avoid heavy armor stuff, esp when the rest of my team have high mobility, bc the slowness of the classes become sooooo obvious. before you know it theyre lagging behind everyone else and its just hnnnng yk

and thank you<3 and thank you again for sharing your progress w/ me! i feel honored. i will be gladly awaiting your next check in :D take your time though of course

#mine #text #asks #anon #my thoughts #my FE tag #FE #FE3H

[catnherthoughts]

not doing too well 3/6/23

how wonderful my life is. i get to go through all of this all on my own. i don't think i've ever felt this alone before. yes, i can talk to my friends about my issues but at the end of the day they don't care that much. they can't care enough to fix it. it's whatever, we ball i guess. he walks around and goes about his days. i bet he doesn't even think about me. wow. he just used me for sex. he could have just said that. why lie to me? why manipulate me? i don't think you're a good person anymore. i'm not sure i want to be a woman in business anymore. i'm not sure if i want to be a woman in this world anymore. i don't feel the overwhelming urge to keep living. what is the point? we have no clue tbh. no one knows. i don't feel like there is a point in me being here. then again, if i was meant to kms then one of my 8 suicide attempts would have worked. maybe 9th time is a charm. i am simply so sick of being alive. i do not want to do this any longer and i've been saying this for yearsssss now. just because i'm not ruining my life, im passively going through life day by day, i somehow got into college and am sitting in my macroeconomics course with a 3.3 gpa. i haven't done anything wonderful to continue living, i've just been passing by. i say to myself "lets just get through today and then you can sleep" or "just get through this week and then we can have fun this weekend". whatever. i always find myself becoming a bit nihlistic when i feel suicidal. "it doesn't matter" i chant. because it really doesn't. if someone who doesn't really want to live can get this far then does it really matter. i feel like shit, probably look like shit, and I just want to sleep forever. yet, i have midterms to study for. maybe if i fail my midterms i'll kill myself. oooo. yum. maybe i've jsut been letting life slip past me. i've been staying up really late and waking up mid day. weeks go by so quickly. i wonder who i even am anymore. also i'm sick! coping by kissing frat men is not the way to go. i hope they're not counting on me to be larger than live. live is already large enough to exist in. i hope they don't see me as a person who has it all. the perfect woman. take my spot. take my soul. i am disposable to those who know my all. im shaking. maybe its the coffee? who knows. im a cluster of energy walking through the world. maybe the angel prophecy of cat***** ******** created by someone who once loved me is true. she also left. this is a cruel worldd. the punishment i recieve has to be deserved. if im alive to be beaten down then im ready for the final punch. maybe i can be loved in death. my mom loves me? does that count for something. jesus that woman doesn't even know me. im shaking so much. why did i drink coffee? i wanted to be cool and have energy and be the one ppl envy w my dunkin cup. now my tummy hurts. man. i wonder what my therapist will say today. this is kind of a life or death meeting. maybe she'll give me some words of wisdom that will make me think this life is worth living. its either that or i die. i don't really like passing through life. yk being alive its not too fun. i don't like having to do schoolwork. although i kinda like this class. i should've come to this more often. being up before noon is so odd. its 10 am and im fully awake and i'm living. so many different people exist. i don't think a single one of them can love me. i look so bad today. i dont give sexy like usual, im giving depression. i wonder if when he saw me yesterday he knew i was down. i wonder what to do. how do people go on? these scars of this man might always be on me. that's sad. i feel nauseous. I wish i was a better person. maybe then i wouldn't be so sad. if i was like this girl who is sitting in front of me, with an assignment tracker.someone who goes to all of their classes. she also looks pretty. maybe wasting away my life by sleeping until 3 pm is not the best thing. i hope they're not counting on me. god i really hope they're not counting on me.i can barely do this for myself let alone live up to whatever ideals people have.

Tumblr dot com has it out for me i think. what if i wanted to have a fat blob of text? huh? anyways im currently in my class about close relationships along the lifespan and im talking to my roomie about how we've been in a mutual depressive episode. i miss being loved. i had a dream about her and it felt so nice. to kiss. to cuddle. i wonder if i had love if i'd crave it as much as i do in it's absence. the insane hyper fixation i have on it. i could fall in love with many people. its not like im not desired. is it sad that i wonder what he would do if i died. if the worst is true about this relationship, maybe he'll be like lol damn that crazy got the limited edition wap. im sorry. coping. i think i dragged my roomie into my spiral. sorry girlypop. i don't think this is being taken seriously. like yeah my friends know im suicidal but i don;t think they know how serious i am. taylor pyka i don't have a plan to kill myself don't send me away. i miss the gym. i should go to the gym today. is it too much to ask for a boyfriend? maybe. somehow i got reminded of hoodies and went to look for an old text from him. "are you trying to steal my sweaters miss :)". what happened. where did his love for me go? maybe i was just there to pass the time. there is a guy with a very interesting beanie on. he seems like a good man. who knows maybe he also manipulates women? i should not be mean to this random man. he looked back over. who is this man? whatever he doesn't exist. i don't like how im awake. vomiting vomiting vomiting. thinking about how he pushed my hand away that one time. why does he exist. how does he affect my karmic cycle. i miss texting him. he was such a cutie. now he doesn't exist. you will never find the same person twice, not even in the same person. i wonder if anyone has ever had a crush on me. i can't imagine someone thinking of me in a way like this.

those were my thoughts before i went to therapy slay for 3/6

[minniepetals]

Rose & Thorns: 09

— summary: a lone rose, a little broken, until Jungkook came along and the two of you saved each other. and in doing so, Jungkook showed you a world where he shared with his six other mates.

— pairing: dragon!bts x reader

— genre: fluff / slight angst / poly!au / fantasy!au / dragon!au

— word count: 8.3k

— warnings: none

╰ part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10

"Hi there."

Just two single words are uttered from your lips and Jungkook is reminded of everything that has happened from the very first moment you spoke those exact first words to him.

He remembered those eyes of yours, so lost, so lonely, yet still having that kindness within to try and reach out a hand in order to ease his pain even if it meant just a small dose. Little did you know you'd end up as a true keeper of the dragons, lover to the seven princes of the East Sky and Mountains. But knowing the rewards, in the end, had never been anything you were seeking for at the time, and his heart warmed at the single reminder of how truly kind your heart is. After all, before you could even come to that moment of happiness with them all, you had to face serious consequences all because of that kind heart of yours.

Looking back on it, Jungkook only wished he could have dealt with it all in a better sense. If he were there for you like you were always for him, if he had gotten to his lovers a little sooner to make them see that nothing about you had been false, if he had been there through your pains and tears, maybe you could have reached that dream of freedom and happiness so much quicker.

"Jungkook?" Yet no matter what he thought, you were always there gracing him a sweet smile with such precious eyes that he knew he would forever hold dearly to.

"Back from taking care of the little whelps?" He asked, driving his thoughts away from the memories in order to look at what was in front of him instead. Jungkook knew he couldn't keep dwelling on the past no matter how much it had hurt him. Because here you were, lips curled into a brighter smile and he knew then that no matter what he thought, you'd never blame him for anything.

But perhaps that was what was hurting him even more.

You walked into the castle, feet having light bounces to them with a basket full of laundry. "I'm fairly certain Namjoon will hold an apprentice ceremony for Haeun soon. Who do you suppose her mentor will be?"

He grabbed you by the arm to pull you back in front of him before you could walk right past him without a second thought, surprising you just a bit.

"I'm sure Namjoon will make a wise decision on that but," the young dragon drew both his hands to hold you firmly by the shoulders as he expressed a disappointed face, "don't you think you're forgetting about someone else first?"

You giggled under his adorable pout. "Don't you have to get ready for the afternoon hunting patrol soon?" You reminded him, causing him to let out a grunt.

"Why is it that Taehyung and Seokjin are the ones to have you by their sides every day? Why can't it be me?"

"Kook," you laugh, "you know your hyungs would never let me go out there to support the patrols. For one, it can be dangerous especially for a simple human like me, and two, I don't have a clue on what to do during a patrol."

He sighed, allowing his hands to drop by his side again. "It's unfair. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a warrior."

"Don't say that. The clan has both you and Hoseok to keep us protected and that is something I would never want to take away from you."

"I know. I just want to spend more time with you" He looked up to meet your gaze again. "But for now this will do." Without any warning, he leaned in to give you a quick kiss to your lips, causing your cheeks to brighten in an instant as he strolled away with a giggle, knowing exactly what your expression would show without even looking.

You were too adorable for your own good.

.

.

"Have you ever had scented candles before?"

On one of the rarer days when you were free from your duties and didn't have the little whelps demanding for your attention almost every second you turned your head and Seokjin was well on his own, you accompanied Jimin in the lonely dungeons as he made his rounds as head of the guards, making small talks ever so often.

There weren't many prisoners locked up for their bad deeds just as the time you spent there a prisoner yourself so you knew Jimin often got lonely making his rounds all alone each time. Taking that into consideration, you weren't going to let the opportunity of your free time be spent doing nothing.

"Scented candles?" You tilted your head slightly to the side with innocent eyes that always got him every time and Jimin chuckled lightly after dropping his clipboard on a table from finishing his rounds with you by his side and turning to elsewhere. "I've heard of them before but they don't necessarily exist around here do they?"

"They don't but there are tales of the scented candles being of great help to be of comfort for anyone in need." Your eyes widened at his words, feeling quite intrigued, and when Jimin turned back around with a few things in hand, your breath hitches. "The first person that came into mind was you when I heard about them," he told you with bright eyes smiling as he brought them on over towards the table at the center of the room. You followed him curiously, rounding yourself to stand beside him as he displayed the candles for you. "So I had one of our traveler dragons to bring them back when they had the time."

"Jimin..." You felt so touched by his kind thoughts for you you almost didn't know what to say towards the sweet gesture. But when he graced you with a tender smile upon your gaze on him, you were sure he understood your thankfulness towards him.

"If only we had these at the time when you were our prisoner." His face fell with slight dejection but you were quick to shake your head lightly.

"Having you to help me then was more than enough, Jimin, I promise. Then again," thinking back to that time, you giggled upon the memories, "would you guys have really wasted such precious things on me at the time?"

He sighed. "I'm glad we can joke about it now but looking back at it, we were so horribly rude to you I can't believe I let my emotions get the best of me."

"You were just worried for the little one."

He chuckled upon your words with a tousle to your hair. "I don't think Jungkook would appreciate someone smaller than him calling him the little one."

You gave him a pout. "And why not? You do it to him all the time."

"Because I'm his hyung. Though he does often tease me about it from time to time." You giggled knowingly, already picturing their small bickering when it came to the two of them and their banters. Having seen that, Jimin smiled from where he stood beside you and brought his hand behind your head in order to pull you close and place a sweet kiss on your forehead, surprising you and making your cheeks flare up at the sudden gesture without warning. He found it cute how you had yet to get used to their kisses whether unexpected or not but returned his eyes to the candles despite the shocking state you were still in.

"Shall we try one of them?"

With his question, you blinked in a daze before shaking your head to return to the subject, and with your cheeks still slightly flushed, your eyes darted back to the candles laying on the table. "There are so many different kinds," you observed with a slightly opened mouth of astonishment to which Jimin found adorable.

"I didn't know what kind of scent you'd prefer so I got the dragon to get a couple different kinds."

"Lots of them are flowery scents," you beamed under the lowlights of the dungeon as you went on to pick up the candles in order to observe them up close. Pulling them up close to your nose, you waft at them in order to get a sense of how each of them smelt, your expressions clearly pleased each time you got a new scent to try as Jimin simply stood there watching you, happiness blooming in his chest at just the sight of you so content. "They all smell so great even without it lit up."

Your face fell with furrowed brows as you stared at each of the candles, having a hard time choosing which one to try first and Jimin let out a laugh. "You're so cute," he said. "We can try every one of them now if you still have time to spare."

"I have all the time to spare!" You exclaimed almost a little too happy for someone who had come in the dungeons declaring the desire to help. But he knew that was just the way you were and for that alone, Jimin wasn't at all dissatisfied by it.

"Well then, since you're having a hard time choosing which one to try first, just close your eyes and choose."

"Good idea!"

Upon Jimin's suggestion, you quickly closed your eyes and hovered your hand over the candles, blindly searching over each one before you finally settled with the one to the far right. With that, you opened your eyes again and held that one up.

"Lavender," the dragon beside you stated.

"Lavender's wonderful!" You were quick to say with your eyes lighting up at the chosen one. "It helps relieve stress and anxiety," you let him know and his brows furrowed a little at your words.

"Are you having trouble, little one?" He asked, concerned.

"Oh no, not me," you quickly said with a shake of your head. "I want to share this with Namjoon because I know being a leader to a clan isn't always the easiest. He comes home later than every one of us after all and most times I'm already asleep by then. I haven't seen him around lately so I'm a little worried."

His eyes softened at your innocent kindness that never seemed to ever leave your heart no matter what and for that alone, Jimin almost believed that he was falling in love all over again. "We're so lucky to have you by our side."

You looked up at him and gave him a humble shake of your head. "It's the other way around," you smiled. "Do you think he'll appreciate it? Oh, but you got these for me as gifts."

"Don't worry, it's always best to share gifts like these with each other," he said while gently stroking your head. "I know Namjoon will be more than happy to receive this."

"Then shall we also choose candles for the others as well? I think it would be really incredible to build a storage room for scented candles so that whenever one of us needs it, we can always—"

"Before that."

"Hm?"

Innocently, you looked up from the candles to meet Jimin's gaze only to have your lips captured in a sweet kiss, leaving your breath to hitch and your eyes to widen as you froze right there at the unexpected kiss.

Jimin leaned away just enough to give you some space with a chuckle. "Your reactions will always please me."

"J-Jimin!"

"But," his brows furrowing slightly, he brought his hand over to slowly swipe his thumb along his lip as you simply stood there, staring at those plump lips of his, not knowing what to do, "I want more, little one."

"J.." Your cheeks brightened even more as your eyes were quick to avert to the ground upon meeting his eyes, causing him to let out another throaty chuckle.

"I love you."

He found it amusing in the way your face only seemed to flush even more each time he did and said something. Your eyes were shaking, not knowing where to look, and he was sure your head was swarming with thoughts of how to respond to him. Surely you were panicking upon whether to return those sweet three words or not and it brought a tug at the corner of his lips.

"Well?" He raised a brow, waiting for your permission.

You bit your lip, still contemplating, but Jimin went on to take the lavender-scented candle away from your grasp to place it back onto the table as he inched towards you in a sly manner.

"I..." You opened your mouth shyly.

"Yes?" He urged you on.

"I-I..." You stepped back out of panic but he followed right away. "Well..um..."

"Hm?"

Bravely, you looked up to meet his eyes head-on and Jimin smirked, satisfied with that. But still, he waited to hear your words and despite how slow you were with it, hearing it made him happy nonetheless.

"I love you too." You told him and he smiled, letting his hand trail down your face in a gentle possessive manner before leaning in and pressing his sweet lips to your own.

It's a gentle kiss like the gentleman he is and not long after your thoughts are filled with him and him alone.

.

.

"I can't wait to become an apprentice! I just know prince Namjoon will choose the perfect one for me!"

You giggled fondly at the little dragoness who sat beside you helping you with your duties as the two of you fold the blankets for the whelps together. "But before that, you will have to let him know what you want to be first, right?"

"Ah," she said, almost as if she had forgotten about the beginning steps first.

"Well?" You urged her on. "What would you like to be as part of the clan?"

She looked away thinking, her hands coming down to a stop on top of the white blanket that laid on her lap, her thoughts going on to stray away to the different duties every dragon has as a member of the clan.

"Unnie how did you choose what you wanted to do?" She asked you instead of answering, her decisions still unclear.

"Well," you started, ready to help her to try and decide, "I chose to be both Seokjin's underling and helping out with the whelps because I love helping. I guess it was easy to decide because, for one, I enjoy taking care of the whelps' needs, and two, I'm used to the herbs and remedies as I've often had to learn them myself without relying on others to help me heal when I needed it. Plus it comes in handy when the princes need to be tended to."

"You don't like just watching on the sideline and would rather be of help, huh?"

You nodded with a smile. "Tending to them makes me feel useful. I can protect them in that sense while they help to protect the clan as warriors themselves. I'd hate to just stand back and watch them in pain, not knowing how to help them. It'd feel worse than anything"

Haeun broke into a beaming smile at your answer. "Unnie, that sounds just like you."

You chuckled at her words and went on to tousle her hair. "You'll find your purpose one day soon. Take your time, no one is rushing you."

"Oh!" She let out a cute little gasp. "What if I worked as a caretaker as well? That way I can be of more help here in the roosts!"

"That sounds—"

"No."

The two of you turned at the voice to find Taehyung walking up with a slightly displeased expression as he handed little Kihyun to Haeun before shamelessly pulling you against his chest right in front of the kids.

"T-Taehyung!" You quickly gasped and were ready to push him away at the unexpected gesture. Only he wasn't going to let you go.

"You already spend too much time with my princess, you can't keep taking her away from me. I'm supposed to be the one who spends more time with her than anyone else, Haeun!"

You couldn't believe this was the reason for his refusal of Haeun's help but rather than taking him seriously, the dragoness let out an exasperated sigh as she stood from her spot with Kihyun in hand before purposely sticking her tongue out at the prince. "Sucks to be you then, my prince, because unnie likes me more than you anyways!"

He let out a dramatic gasp with the grip around you only tightening. "How dare you say such lies."

Yet she made no comebacks and simply ran away before Taehyung could scold her anymore.

You giggled at their little banter and turned around to face your lover with a sigh. "I would appreciate it if you kept the affections to a minimum in front of the little ones."

"Why should I? Those little dragons are already trying to steal you away. I'm just marking my territory so they know not to steal someone else's mate, especially one that belongs to a prince."

"You know they're just playing around."

"That's what they'd like you to think, those mischievous little brats."

You burst out laughing at how ridiculous he was, jealous of the little dragons and even having quite the serious pout plastered upon his face. You didn't know what to expect walking into the relationship but even so, everything had been so well you were glad to be able to laugh and smile along their sides no matter how many times you'd get flustered by the things they did.

Frowning at you for not taking him seriously, Taehyung grabbed a hold of your face in both his large palms and brought himself right in front of you, making your laughter cease almost instantly.

"Is it fun making me jealous?" The prince asked with a raised brow, suddenly giving you a deadpanned look you weren't sure what to think. "Hm, princess?"

Your eyes panned away from his out of panic, already afraid to be caught by the poor little dragons in case they stumbled upon the two of you. "Tae—"

"I'm right in front of you yet you're focusing on something else?"

"If the whelps catch us like this, I—" He brought your face forcibly back to face him again with a displeased expression that is quick to bring your voice quiet all over again. "Tae..." Seeing him like that was a little surprising to you. After all, despite the many months spent in the dragon clan, there was still so much you had yet to know of including how the princes would act as your lovers, and now that you were with them, it still felt a little unbelievable they would feel such love and possessiveness over you.

Maybe that was just the nature of dragons. Just as you've heard stories of them being quite possessive with their treasures, perhaps mating was just as if not more important.

Your faces were so close you were sure Taehyung could feel the heat of your cheeks against his palm. It made you even shyer so you looked away, not brave enough to keep eye contact for much longer, and just for that, he let out a knowing chuckle.

"You're so cute." His voice was low, quiet. "I don't want anyone else to see this side to you, princess. You're ours after all, aren't you?"

You ignored his words in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. "Don't you think, um...you're being a little too brave doing this right here?"

"I'm sure Haeun's got us covered."

"That's not—!" You grunted. "We can't let her watch the whelps all alone, you know that."

"Eh," he shrugged, not caring one bit, "she's a good kid. She'll take care of it. In the meantime—"

"Noona!!"

You were quick to gasp and pushed Taehyung away as soon as you heard the young voice calling your name. "Do you need something, Minho?" You asked, turning around as the little one ran up to you while you both ignored the cry of agony and frustration falling out of Taehyung's lips as he leaned back into one of the beds of the whelps, holding his face against his palm at the missed opportunity that was now ripped away from him.

"Noona I wanna play with you!" The little dragon exclaimed with a bright innocent grin plastered on his face but Taehyung knew it was anything but. As if to provoke the prince further, he grabbed ahold of your hands and dragged you off, not even sparing Taehyung a single glance, knowing fully well what he had just done.

.

.

"Y/N."

"Namjoon!" He saw you quick on your little feet as you ran up to him with a beaming smile that was just enough to slowly ease the weights resting on his shoulders. But he knew it wouldn't last forever despite wanting to keep seeing that precious smile of yours even if it meant for just one whole night, dreading for the time that was coming. "I was just looking around for you!"

He gave you a tender smile as he drew his hand along your face, stroking it gently. "Did you need me for something, dear one?"

"Mhm!" You took his hand, ready to run off. "Come here, I—"

But Namjoon pulled you back to stand right before him again, he himself not having moved one inch despite you just about to drag him away. "Can it wait?" He said, causing your smile to fall with a slight concern.

"Oh. Are you busy?"

He hated doing that to you. "I was just about to have Yoongi call for a clan meeting."

"Ah," you said, nodding. "Then I will wait for you in—"

"Actually."

"Hm?"

"I want you to attend the meeting."

That took you by surprise as your eyes widened a little, totally unaware that Namjoon would ask you to attend a clan meeting. Usually, he would have all the princes and his most trusted dragons together for a meeting first before letting the rest know of any news that would be important to announce. You've never attended any meetings before and there hadn't been one for a while so surely the things he had to discuss had to be important, right? So why would he ask you to attend?

Seeing the confusion written on your face, Namjoon began to explain. "You're our Keeper now, remember?" He said, reminding you of the ceremony that had taken place just a few weeks ago. "Must I keep reminding you that you are now very important to the dragon clans?"

"Well..." They've mentioned that but you have yet to know what exactly that title meant for you. "I haven't exactly done much, have I?"

"I know," he nodded, understanding. "Truthfully none of us truly understands how a human would prepare for this role but I need you to begin seeing this title as your new duty. I know you have the whelps to take care of and also work alongside Seokjin but being a Keeper will begin to take up the majority of your time now. I need you to be prepared for anything, Y/N."

"I..." The serious gaze he held for you made you understand how crucial it was but still, you couldn't find the answer as to why. "I don't understand."

Namjoon nodded again. "It is best to let everyone know first before you ask your questions." He took your hand and began leading you towards the one room you hadn't exactly been to before; the meeting hall. "But just know that from now on, the Keeper will be attending every meeting that is to be held."

Knowing your questions would be answered soon, you gave him a nod. "Okay."

The meeting hall was a grand hall that laid a large table right in the middle with twelve chairs surrounding it all together. Seeing it up close and personal itself, you could understand just how serious the meeting was going to be. Even Taehyung himself who had already taken his place towards one of the ends held a grim expression.

But upon seeing you walk in with Namjoon at your side, his face lit up just the slightest bit.

"You look tense," he joked as if trying to ease your nerves with his little jokes. "It's alright, princess," the dragon assured you with a soft smile as he held his hand out to offer you a seat beside him. You easily took his hand, allowing him to guide you to the chair beside him as the others began to file in.

Hoseok took his place on your other side with a grin. "First time here?" He asked almost flirtatiously and made you let out a giggle.

Not long after the meeting began.

"The three clans have gotten news of me declaring Y/N as Keeper of the Dragons." You could feel all eyes turning to you at the report that left Namjoon's lips and just for that, you felt a weird feeling drop within your stomach but you weren't sure exactly what you were supposed to feel.

Was it a good thing? Or not?

Weren't the Clans all connected in one way or another despite them ruling their own skies and mountains? Questions swarmed in your head and you were suddenly realizing just how much you didn't know about lots of things that were important to the clan.

Sensing your confusion, Namjoon began to explain. "There are four main clans. The East, the West, the North, and the South. The other clans that exist are the smaller clans that protect other areas that are not covered by the four major clans. The warriors live protecting our territories in order to maintain the lands that were given to us from the first beginning wars many years ago. We are allowed to go to war with any smaller clan to gain land if we wish to do so, but none of us are allowed to attack any of the major clans so that no one clan becomes one over the other and dictates the rest."

"Hence that's where gaining a Keeper poses a problem, doesn't it, my prince?"

You turned your head at the warrior that had spoken. "It..does?"

He sent you a conflicted expression. "Us major clans may not be allowed to attack the others to maintain order but there are other ways to gain power and look slightly better than the rest."

"And one way by doing that is having our ancestor warriors accept a Keeper into one of the clans," another warrior added.

You were posing a problem as a Keeper already? Just by existing? Did that mean you'd have to leave in order to not cause more problems and potentially be the reason the clans may go to war?

Seeing those worried brows furrowing, Seokjin turned back to Namjoon. "The clans have given you their answers, I am sure. What did they say?"

With Seokjin's question, the attention returned to the high prince once again.

"They will accept the Keeper as long as we grant them the permission to use her in the case of any major wars."

Jungkook abruptly stood up in protest. "No!" He said in a thunderous tone with a face filled with rage at the thought of even bringing you to the wars. "I will not allow anyone to use Y/N in any way shape or form even if it comes to our own wars."

"But the Keeper has her powers to protect herself and the ones beside her."

"Y/N doesn't know how to use her powers yet," he was quick to dismiss the thought.

Meanwhile, you look at Hoseok and Taehyung beside you with confusion at this so-called power of yours. You really possessed powers now? And as if reading your thoughts, the two of them gave you a silent nod both firmly to let you know that all of this was real.

"She can learn."

"And she will."

"Whether she learns it well or not does not mean I will let anyone take advantage of her and put her life at risk. Y/N's already gone through so much, you can't just expect her to suddenly be thrown into the middle of our clan's problems."

But you were the root of the problem so it only made sense. And you were sure you weren't the only one thinking that as you looked around the room, noticing the hesitation in the warrior's expressions as some of them felt conflicted on whether to voice their true opinion on the matter or not since they all knew you were the lover of the princes.

Sighing silently with worry, you spared a glance towards Namjoon who seemed to be the one in the most conflicted position. After all, as leader of the East Clan, he had to consider both sides to the problem while also needing to take in the other clan's words without dismissing it so easily.

As you sat there while the debate continued on, you realized that the only way the clan could have accepted you at all was to become a Keeper. That was the only position available to you as a human in order to be someone not only the East Clan could trust but the rest of the clans as well. Which also meant that this was Namjoon's way of protecting you. Because as Keeper, you were given the power to protect not just the people around you but yourself as well.

"Hyung." Jungkook turned back to Namjoon, wanting the leader to declare the words of declining the other clan's orders but you knew it wasn't going to be that easy of a decision.

The room fell silent again as the youngest of the prince addressed the leader who sat tall in his seat at the end of the table. His gaze remained grim with both his hands clasped together in front of him with silent thoughts swarming in his head.

It remained that way for a while, the room waiting for Namjoon to speak.

He closed his eyes for a second before sitting back tall against his seat and looking up to rest his gaze right on you. Your heart skipped a beat, not knowing what he was going to ask of you or if he had come up with a decision, and whatever it was, you knew you had to be prepared.

"Y/N," he called, voice uttered in a low octave.

"Yes?" You were almost too afraid of what his next words were going to be but this was Namjoon you were talking about. You knew you could trust him with your whole life. The two of you went through danger together, helped each other up, carried one another, and made it out alive in the end. You knew more than anyone that he wouldn't purposely lead you to danger. After all, even though he had hated you then, he still protected you from that great fall because he knew you were special to Jungkook.

If there was anyone you could trust, it would be Namjoon.

"The wars that the dragon clans may involve themselves in can be quite brutal," he told you. "There will be enemy dragons far more dangerous than the ones that had attacked both you and Seokjin. You have to, however, be rest assured that our own warriors are far stronger than you can ever imagine. I will do all that I can to negotiate with the other three clans but be prepared to know that you may be needed in one of the wars in the future."

"Namjoon—"

He held a hand up to silence Jungkook without ever diverting his gaze from you. "No dragon that belongs to the clans, whether that of the major clans or the smaller ones, will ever dare to harm you. Every dragon knows not to try and harm a Keeper who lives to protect them. So if and when the wars ever come, will you give your complete trust to us in due time just as the clans will do the same with you?"

Seeing that complete resolve in Namjoon's eyes which hides no lies upon his vow to keep you from harm's way, you knew your answer.

"More than anything, I will entrust my life to the clans."

Proud with your reply, Namjoon let himself give you a faint smile in return.

"This will mean the clans will want to meet her, won't they?" Jimin spoke up upon the possibility and returning to his serious expression once again, Namjoon gave a nod.

"The Keeper has much to learn then."

"That's right."

Customs and courtesies along with the history of the Clans and their origins. Adding along with your training as a Keeper, the need to protect the dragon clans. You had much to do but you knew running away from it wasn't going to happen so you sat there with a resolved look in your eyes, letting the dragons know that you were going to do it all if it meant protecting them.

They smiled knowingly, proud to have you as their Keeper.

.

.

"Can't sleep?"

Namjoon's eyes turned tender upon the sight of you joining him out on the balcony later that night. He held out a hand for you to take and you gladly accepted it with no protest, allowing him to bring you forward and wrap his arms around you to keep you warm from the night breeze.

It remained silent for a while with the two of you just basking in each other's warmth, comfortable with just the sound of the crickets chirping under the night sky filled with the light of the twinkling stars.

"I'm sorry," he whispered a moment later and you turned to look up at him with confusion.

"For what?"

"When I gave you the title as Keeper of the Dragons, I should have asked you about it all first instead of just deciding it all on my own," he told you with a grim expression resting on his face. "Now you're going to have to face some challenges that you weren't prepared for."

His voice was soft against the wind, but you could hear the guilt and heavy stress weighing against him, letting you know that he had been worrying about you with all of this now going on. The other three clans weren't going to give in to his negotiations that easily but Namjoon would be working hard just for the sake of you and for that you knew all you wanted to do at that moment was to ease his burdens.

"It's okay," you told him softly as you leaned against his chest to let him understand that you weren't blaming him for any of it. "You gave me a place in your clan and that is more than enough."

"Being a Keeper is not going to be easy on you. Whether it was the only title I could give you as a human or not, this will only make things harder on you."

You chuckled a little at those words. "You know more than anyone nothing has been easy for me in the first place."

"Exactly." He let out a sigh as his arms around you tightened with worry. "This isn't exactly helping."

"As a Keeper, no one can hurt me, right?"

"You're going to have to learn to defend and use your powers first."

"Mhm," you nodded. "And I will."

"I know you will Y/N, and I trust you with all that I have," he acknowledged without any doubt. "I know that despite the situation you're suddenly placed in, the burdens you will have to face as a Keeper, you won't let any of that get to you and will do all that you can do for the clan. But," he gave you a squeeze, holding you tighter as if to silently tell you how afraid he was knowing he had no choice but to send you away as a leader who had to make the best decisions for everyone, "truthfully I wanted to agree with Jungkook and straight-up refuse the thought of even involving you in any future wars. The little one knows you best. He's seen through it all, feels the most guilty out of any of us for not being able to protect you as well as we should have. And I know you don't blame him, none of us does, he was after all the one who fought so hard for your life. But because he had to go through that, Jungkook will be the one to suffer the most when we have to send you off to fight."

You understood that. You understood the fact that Jungkook's heart was so big he wanted to protect everyone he could with his power. He was there beside you, always feeling helpless he couldn't do much to help you in your situation knowing he had been less powerful than the rest of his hyungs, but even then, you would never blame him because none of it was his fault.

He was a kind, gentle, and loving dragon who refused to let any of his lovers get hurt. But you understood where Namjoon was coming from and knew this wasn't going to be easy at all.

"I will tell you this though," you looked up at the leader whose eyes were already on yours with a firm resolve in his eyes. "As the leader of the Eastern Clan and as your lover, I will not let anything happen to you no matter what we will face in the future. So can you place your faith in me and do your part knowing I will be standing right beside you in all of this?"

"Namjoon..." Dealing with the Clans and potentially needing to be used in some of the future wars would not be easy, you knew, but you also knew that you weren't going to be alone. So you gave him a firm nod, knowing more than anyone that you could trust him. "Of course."

He leaned in to place a kiss on your head. "That's all I need to hear."

.

.

The days grew longer and longer as you took your duties off as Seokjin's assistance and the caretaker of the whelps in order to begin your training as the true Keeper of the Dragons.

You were given a teacher who taught you the history of the Clans and common customs and courtesies to prepare you for the meeting of the other three clans and had to face a challenge in trying to understand how the previous Keeper had lived.

None of it was easy, knowing you would be alone throughout most of it because the dragons themselves had no idea of how to train someone with a position they've never had to face. So you spent most of your time in the large library mostly to yourself with lessons after lessons on the history of the Clans and the first Keeper of the Dragons.

Given the ability to wield the power to physically protect someone while having no idea how to use or control it was hard for a beginner like you, but you knew you couldn't give up so easily because this was now your duty. You couldn't let your clan down nor disappoint anyone.

Everyone believed in you, it was your duty to show them that you were capable of this position without any doubt.

If the other three clans blindly trusted in you to the point of potentially asking you for aid in future wars then you could not let them see you as a weak and vulnerable human who would make excuses on how hard it was. You had to prove yourself to everyone.

Not just your princes, not just your clan nor the other three clans, but to yourself as well.

You were going to face this head-on, knowing it was your duty to protect the dragons now as Keeper of the Dragons.

.

.

"Tired?"

You quickly shook your head as you headed back to the private chambers after another long day of studying. With a big smile plastered on your face, you knew you couldn't let them worry over you so much.

"I'm perfect!" You said to Yoongi who held on to a skeptical expression.

"Well that's true but," he held his hand up to stroke your hair with eyes that didn't blindly believe you so easily, "you know it's okay to say when you're tired, right? You have it very rough right now, after all. We can all see it."

"Well I'm a little tired," you admitted sheepishly, knowing you couldn't hide anything from them as he brought you in to hold you in his arms soon after. "But it's been going well, I promise."

"I don't doubt that." Seokjin came up from behind you to place a kiss on your head. When you looked up at him, his eyes were just as concerned as Yoongi's. "I know you're a smart girl who is stronger than anyone I've ever met, however, you must remember to not push yourself too hard."

"You often go to the extremes for others, that's why we're so worried, princess," Taehyung said.

"If it becomes too difficult to face this all on your own, you have to tell us," Jimin chimed in. "Preparing for battles is not easy but doing this as a Keeper is something beyond our own imaginations. We may not understand some things but we're right here for you, okay?"

"Once you're done with the first steps of knowing how to defend and use your powers as a Keeper, the next step is learning how we fight our wars."

"I'm sorry," Namjoon said after Hoseok, looking the most worried out of them all since he was the one to have given you the title. "This is a lot more than I thought it'd be."

"I promise I'm alright," you said with sincerity at their concern for you. You hated seeing them like that but you knew it was coming from a good place. "Learning to protect the Clans is a privilege. I'm honored to be a Keeper. I won't let you down."

"Y/N."

You turned to the sound of the last prince to speak and saw the way he stood a bit further from the rest of you, an unsettling uneasiness clear on his face as his brows furrowed while he refused to look at you at first. It was silent for a moment as you waited for Jungkook to speak.

When he finally managed to look up and meet your face, you could see how much this was affecting him and felt your heart drop at just the sight alone. Jungkook was so worried about you.

He held his hand out, eyes averting from yours again but still, you took it without hesitation, letting the youngest prince have his way with pulling you into his strong arms. You couldn't see it from where you stood just seconds ago but now that you were in his arms, you could feel the way he was trembling slightly as he held you.

"'Please," he whispered as he let his cheek rest against your head, "if it's too hard you have to let us know. You can't lie to us no matter what. If you don't want to do this anymore then just say the word and we'll take care of it. But I know that is not something you'd ever do because you are much too noble for that so please...please don't push yourself too hard for any of our sakes. If you go too far you'll hurt yourself. So this time, this time I won't let you get too far. I promise I'll uphold my words and protect you. So please rely on me. Okay?"

You knew to some extent that Jungkook worried the most out of everyone but hearing those words coming out of his mouth, feeling the slight trembling of his body, you knew how scared he was right now. So worried, so afraid.

He loved you so much so you knew you couldn't do something that would make him think you were only going to make things harder for yourself.

You stepped back just enough to face him again where you reached up to hold his face in your hand. His eyes were filled with so much grief you wished you could just take all those worries away in a blink of an eye. But it wasn't going to be that easy. Despite that, however, you knew you had to do something to ease the pain even if it meant a small dose.

"I promise, Jungkook. I won't go too far this time."

"Good." He said and buried his face against the crook of your neck, his breath shaky as he let out a sigh. "Good."

"How about this?" Witnessing that moment between the two of you, Namjoon spoke up. "You should take a break tomorrow. You've been working non-stop these past few weeks after all."

"Hm?" You turned to Namjoon with a slight confusion while Jungkook remained in your arms, refusing to let you go anytime soon. "But—"

"The clan haven't seen you in a while since you've been buried in the library almost every day since your training started. I'm sure they've missed you."

"That's right," Taehyung let out a sigh at just the reminder of the little whelps demanding him questions after questions on when they were ever going to see you again. "You know more than anyone how much those little whelps love you. They've been asking for you since the day you started your training and Haeun isn't making things any easier. She's gotten so grumpy I can't keep handling all of them on my own."

You laughed lightly upon the mention of the little ones, already picturing them complaining to Taehyung and bouncing around him for answers about you.

"Everyone knows you're working so hard right now," Yoongi stated with a firm nod. "You should take tomorrow to catch up on things and take things easy. They've all missed you."

"I suppose a day wouldn't hurt."

"Then it's settled." With that, Namjoon gave you a faint smile as he walked up to both you and Jungkook, giving you a kiss to your head before gently patting Jungkook's head. He looked up, still slightly upset about this whole thing. "Y/N's going to be okay," the leader vowed firmly. "Everyone's looking out for her."

"Mhm," you nodded with a smile. "So don't worry too much, okay?"

He took a moment to stare at the kind smile you gave him and seeing how sincere you both were, Jungkook began to look relieved as his face relaxed for the first time in a while. "Okay," he sighed with a small smile of his own. "I'm proud of you."

Your heart blossomed with love.

.

.

Two weeks later, you were to leave to meet the three clans of the North, South, and West.

Dressed in formal wear, you took a deep breath as you stared out at the view of the horizon from the mountain top, knowing this would be the first time you would be leaving the mountain and being gone for a while.

"Are you ready?" You turned at the voice of Hoseok who stood tall beside Namjoon as the two of them would be the ones to accompany you on the journey. Behind them stood the rest of the princes and the clan to bid their farewells and wait for your return. Scanning the crowd, you could see some faces of worry and decided to give them all your usual kind smile.

"I have Namjoon and Hoseok with me, you can all stop looking at me like I'm already going out for war," you said with a small laugh to lighten the dampened mood. "I will be alright," you give them the vow with confidence in order to ensure that they did not have to worry too much.

It seemed to have worked since many of their faces began to lighten up again.

"We will be waiting for your return."

"Please stay safe."

"Send word if anything goes wrong. We'll be ready for anything."

You laughed again. "You all worry too much."

"For good reason." Seokjin walked up looking slightly grumpy. "We're sending our Keeper away after all."

"They won't do anything to me, I'm just going to be meeting them so that they will know who the Keeper is," you reminded him.

"I'm surprised you can be so calm." Truthfully despite Jimin's words, you were quite worried but you knew you couldn't show that now. It wouldn't be the best thing to do knowing the clan themselves were already concerned. "You're so brave, little one."

"Mhm," you nodded at his words with a confident grin. "So trust me a little more, hm?"

"Stay safe, princess," Taehyung told you as he gently tousled your hair.

"I will."

Meeting both Namjoon and Hoseok's gaze, there seemed to be some sort of a silent conversation going on as Yoongi met their gazes before he turned to you with a small smile. "We'll be waiting for you."

"Mhm," you smiled.

"I love you," Jungkook whispered before turning to Namjoon and Hoseok. "You too," he said. "Be careful out there."

"Of course," Hoseok nodded.

"Shall we go? We must reach the Southern Clan before the sun sets." Upon those words of Namjoon's the clan tensed up again along with an odd feeling dropping along your stomach. But you knew you had to do this whether it was scary or not. It was important to the future of the clans after all.

Once both Namjoon and Hoseok transformed into their respective dragon forms, you gave the clan a formal bow of respect. "I shall return in time."

With that, you climbed onto Hoseok's back and the two of them took off riding into the sky, leaving the Eastern Dragon Clan behind.

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[alkalinefrog]

hey, so, I had an art related question... if all of this is too much, feel free to ignore it.

the backstory is that I've had the same laptop since early high school but recently I had a birthday (I'm 28 now). my parents got me an HP laptop, and my friend got me a tablet, which she bought off of an online friend for $30. the problem is that I haven't had new technology like... ever? none that was actually mine anyway, and certainly nothing that could handle me using it for art.

and this is especially a problem when it comes to the tablet. my friend helped me get firealpaca onto the laptop, and get the tablet set up with the right drivers, aaaaand... I cannot make one line that looks good using it. I've been using pen and paper for so long and I have a really light touch, and it feels like I have to jam the pen down to get it to register, at which point I might as well have not set the pen sensitivity to anything at all because the thickest line is the only kind I can make?? any lighter and it won't show up on the screen at all. like I can ctrl+z and it doesn't even go back a step, the line didn't get drawn. there's like a 20% chance that any line I try to put down won't actually register. and tbh this isn't really what I had wanted... it's a huion tablet, which is the brand I wanted, but I was gonna buy myself one where you can see what you're drawing on the screen of the tablet itself. not just due to coordination issues, I think I could get used to that part, but because I feel like I wouldn't be having this specific problem with getting things to register. every single line I make looks like crap with this tablet, it makes me feel like I might as well be drawing with my feet, and I've been fidgeting with settings, and it doesn't seem like anything helps. I also still don't have a mouse for the laptop yet, so I can't click and drag anything very well because it has a trackpad, so messing with sliders is already aggravating.

I feel so lost and overwhelmed, and like if I buy anything else, I'm just going to end up with more unusable stuff because *I'm* probably the problem. I just don't know anything, and trying is mentally fatiguing me so quickly... my brain knows what I want my art to look like, and my hands can do it with a real pen. I just have absolutely no clue how to make this machine produce anything.

so I guess my questions are stuff like, what equipment do you use? are there tablets that will register a light touch or am I really going to have to be this heavy handed in order to work with one? what resolution/canvas size do you usually work on? any recommendations for what program to use?

overall, I'd really like to get myself something that feels more intuitive than the tablet... honestly, I was finding some success drawing with just my finger on the touch screen of my phone at one point. there were still a lot of problems with that, but the nail in the coffin was that my phone's memory space filled up and I had to get rid of the drawing app to make it functional again (it's an iphone, which is why). maybe I should just get an ipad or something...? though, one more thing on the mountain of potential options is the last thing my crumbling ADHD brain needs. I've been taking a break from art in general because I've still maintained my 40-hours-a-week work schedule through the whole pandemic... I do 10 hour shifts and work overnight, so I technically have free time since I only work 4 days a week, but the type of work I do leaves me with no energy at all. so I've been in an art slump and I've been wanting to get out of it, but this is just making art feel impossible, even though the whole reason why I've always wished I could draw digitally is so that I can color digitally. I had been drawing things in pen and scanning them to color in photoshop, but cleanup takes so long that I literally can't produce finished work anymore. I'm out of options that aren't prohibitively labor intensive and frustrating.

this was probably way too much information, but if you have any advice I'd be really grateful.

Huh, well first off HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!! Congrats on the sweet new tech (even if it's been a bit frustrating) and well-deserved celebration!

From the sounds of it I think the main issue is probably your tablet (this is pure speculation on my end though, so you know, grain of salt and all). You're right in that you shouldn't have to fight against your equipment. I have a really light touch too and I've never had the same issue. I personally don't have any experience with huion tablets, but if you're having trouble getting your lines to register then it might have been worn down by the previous user. It's not so much about buying a monitor (the screen one) vs. tablet so much as getting working equipment.

An iPad is a great alternative!! I've played around with the apple pencil and procreate and it's a super intuitive program with (obviously) super easy set up! You get the drawing on the screen AND really nice pen pressure. I'm really happy seeing it opening up new doors for more people to get into digital art!

In terms of your current laptop/tablet situation:

My set up rn is pretty pricey ngl; I have a PC desktop computer with a 16 inch Wacom Cintiq. Getting started in digital art doesn't mean you have to drop a bag on a ton of equipment right from the get go though! If you're looking for a safe small investment, I'd recommend getting a Wacom Bamboo pen tablet!

This lil' baby right here is what I started with!! I think cost-wise it floats around 70ish bucks, but that's exponentially more affordable than buying a huge monitor. One of my friends who's also a pro artist uses a similar small tablet because it works great! That's an alternative that might be worth looking into.

You can also get free trials on other drawing programs (clip studio paint is a great one!) To test and see if it's a software issue with firealpaca.

You could also try checking online forums to see if anyone else is running into similar issues, or watch some YouTube videos of people reviewing different tablets. I know this might be even more overwhelming, so I'd try and narrow the scope to focus on one thing at a time.

My best advice right now would actually be to get a mouse, or any other accessories you need. I've also been in your shoes where I was completely overwhelmed, and I can say that checking off all the small easy things makes a HUGE difference! It makes you feel more in control of the situation, and even if you're still having trouble with digital art you can at least get more comfortable using your laptop in the mean time.

You got this dude!! I believe in you!!

EDIT:

Thanks @wooliebirds!

#ask #anonymous #advice

[fairydxll]

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐲

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

↳ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 | uh fighting? Lmk if anything.

↳ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2124

𝐚/𝐧 ~ sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. But I'm back now!

masterlist | series masterlist | taglist

<- previous chapter

After a couple of days, Rory kinda got used to her new "home." Since Tony didn't know how long it would be before they went back to California, and with Pepper gone, they decided it was best if Rory just took a break from school.

Rory did eventually grow to like her new room. She was not allowed to leave the current floor, so she basically just spent all of her time there. Tony was gone all day and didn't get home until very late at night, meaning Rory had to have food delivered. She didn't mind, though. She figured that if they end up staying, she'll be able to tell Tony what all the good restaurants are.

Tony never told her anything about why they were here with the exception of, "Daddy has business."

So in order to pass the time, Rory would read or watch movies. She even took up drawing which turned out to be something she isn't too bad at.

This morning, Tony was already gone by the time Rory got up, so she got dressed and migrated to the living area. She sat on one of the couches near the large window and began sketching the tall buildings surrounding her.

As she finished the shading on one of the skyscrapers, she peered back up to see a tall man with long, black hair dressed in what looked like a Halloween costume standing on the terrace. Rory put down her sketchbook and looked closer. He was very tall and had large, golden horns that decorated the top of his head. She had no clue as to why this man was standing outside of her window on her father's building.

Rory looked to her right and noticed her father, in the Iron Man suit, land on the landing pad. The man just stood there, watching as machines swiftly removed the armor from Tony's body.

The strange man made his way into the room from the balcony. The room she was in. Rory didn't know what to do. She was frozen, scared. Instead of running away as any sane person would, Rory remained in her chair.

The large man entered the room. He studied his surroundings, his eyes eventually landing on Rory. "Who might you be?" He asked with disdain.

Rory could do nothing but blink at him, too afraid to speak. He opened his mouth to say more, only to be interrupted by the presence of Tony. "Rory, come here," Tony said blankly.

Rory immediately dropped her things and ran to her father's side. Tony wrapped his arm around her protectively, hoping to shield her with his body.

The man watched this all happen before finally speaking, "Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity." He spoke as if she weren't there.

"Actually I'm planning to threaten you," Tony responded. Rory couldn't sense any different emotions other than his natural sarcastic tone.

"You should have left your armor on for that," the man bantered, walking closer to Tony and Rory.

"Yeah," Tony pushed Rory behind the bar. "It's seen a bit of mileage, and you've got the glow stick of destiny." Rory crouched down below the bar and pulled her knees into her chest. She couldn't help but let tears stain her cheeks, afraid of what was happening. "Would you like a drink?" Tony asked the man as he walked behind the bar, actively trying to ignore you in hopes you wouldn't become a target.

Rory heard the other man laugh. "Stalling me won't change anything," he said. If Rory knew what it meant, she would describe their conversation as passive-aggressive.

"No, no. threatening." Tony began making himself a drink. "No drink? You sure? I'm having one.

"The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that." His words sounded like gibberish to Rory. "What have I to fear?"

Rory watched her father casually make a drink as if nothing was wrong. "The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves. We're sort of like a team." Rory had no idea what he was going on about. ""Earth's mightiest heroes"-type thing."

"Yes, I've met them."

"Yea," Tony's smile helped calm Rory down. He had to have the situation under control, right? "It takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a headcount, here. Your brother, the demi-god," demi-god? "A super-soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend." He secretly slipped a metal-looking band on each wrist.

"A man with breathtaking anger-management issues, a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella," none of his words were making any sense. "You've managed to piss off every single one of them."

"That was the plan."

"Not a great plan," Tony walked past you and out from the bar. "When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."

"I have an army."

"We have a hulk."

Rory finally gathered enough courage and stood up carefully. She peeked her head over the bar to watch the men while also trying to stay out of the way. Tony was approaching the man as they spoke; the man keeping his ground.

"I thought the beast had wandered off," the man said.

"You're missing the point. There's no throne," Tony's voice rose slightly. "There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."

Tony took a sip of his drink while the man took a few steps closer, a scowl spreading across his features. "How will your friends have time for me when they're so busy fighting you?"

For the first time since this scene began, Tony looked scared. The man brought his scepter-looking thing up and tapped it against Tony's chest with a clang noise. The man's face dropped for a second before he tried a second time, and then a third. "This usually works."

Tony didn't look scared anymore. "Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five--" his sentence was cut short when the man forcefully grabbed Tony's throat and threw him onto the floor. Rory squealed and then immediately covered her mouth.

The man turned his head in Rory's direction with a puzzled look. He turned away from her as soon as Tony stood up and went for his neck again. "You will all fall before me," he said.

"Deploy!" Tony called before the man threw him out the window, shattering the glass. Rory screamed with all her might. Did she just watch her Dad be murdered? What was he going to do to her?

Rory hid behind the bar once more, watching and listening closely to her surroundings. A loud sound rippled through the room causing Rory to throw her hands over her ears to block out the noise. She peeked over the bar and saw nothing but more shards of glass and broken furniture.

The man stared Rory down. "Who are you?"

Rory gulped, "who are you?"

He chuckled. "I am Loki, of Asgard. I'm surprised you have not yet heard of me." His tone was a lot softer with her than it was with her father. "What is your name, little one?"

"Rory," she nervously answered his question. "My name is Rory."

"Let me guess; Stark's child?" She didn't say anything. Rory simply nodded. "Ah I see," he gave you an almost heartwarming smile. "Come here, Rory."

Fearing she had no other choice, Rory walked over to Loki and he crouched down to meet her gaze. He smiled at her. Rory watched her father fly up behind him. She was more than thrilled to see her father alive and more tears fell from her eyes.

"And one more thing," Loki's face dropped and he spun around to face Tony. "Get away from my daughter!" Tony shot at Loki, sending him flying backward. Rory jumped out of the way, too stunned to do anything else. With Loki knocked out, Tony looked towards his daughter, "Rory go hide, now!" He flew away into the sky, and Rory wasted no time in running to her bedroom.

She slammed the door shut and locked it. She looked around her room for anything that she could put in front of the door to make it harder to reach her. Rory tried to move the couch, but it was no use. It was too heavy for a ten-year-old to manage. She tugged on her roots as she spotted her desk chair. Once it was securely tucked under the knob, Rory ran over to her window to watch what was unfolding.

Rory couldn't help herself as she began to sob. She was afraid and she was alone. There was nothing she could do to help. Tons of thousands of aliens flooded the skies and streets of New York as Rory sat up in her bedroom, watching. She was sobbing uncontrollably as she pressed her face and hands into the large window.

More loud noises were flowing from the living area into Rory's bedroom and Rory could do nothing to stop them. She hoped that the man who called himself Loki was gone and that her Dad was alright.

At this moment, Rory really felt like a child. She felt small and helpless. Lonely and afraid. There was nothing else she could do except watch. She had no clue as to what she was watching either, which was not making her feel any better.

At long last, the aliens seemed to dissipate and things seemed to calm down. It looked to Rory like the fight was over. But who won?

Rory was drawn away from her thoughts by the sound of her father's voice calling her name. She nearly sprinted out. She ran up to Tony and engulfed him in the tightest bear hug she could manage. He was still in his suit and covered in dirt, but neither seemed to mind.

"I was afraid," Rory murmured into his neck.

"I know, bubs." They pulled away from the hug and Rory got the chance to really see the other people in the room.

There was a giant-sized man with green skin, a man with a shield, a man with a bow and arrow, a man with a red cape and long hair, and what looked like Natalie, only with shorter hair. They looked odd. As if they were straight out of a movie. She noticed Loki in handcuffs. He looked angry and sad at the same time. Rory didn't really know what he did, but she knew he lost and her dad won.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tony held a silver case in one hand and Rory's in the other as he walked alongside the other Avengers waiting to send Loki away. Tony had made it very clear that from now on, Rory would not be leaving his side.

Rory let go of her Dad's hand to let him deal with the case. Thor, as he had told Rory to call him, led Loki a few feet away from everyone else. He waited for Loki to grab hold of the glass container for the Tesseract. Before she knew it, the pair had disappeared in a storm of blue.

Once everything else was settled, Tony reached for Rory's hand again and walked her over to the rest of the Avengers. "Rory there's some people I'd like you to meet," he motioned to the team. "That's Capsicle, Legolas, Jolly Green, and the Triple Imposter. This is Rory." The others shook their heads at Tony's nicknames.

"Steve," the tall, blonde man smiled and Rory shook his hand.

"Bruce," the shorter man with grey hair politely smiled and waved.

"Yea," Nat showed you a friendly smile to which you returned. "Nice to finally meet you, officially."

"And I'm Clint," the last man with spiky hair and sunglasses introduced himself.

"Hi," you said, shyly and waved at them all.

"Bubs, you go wait in the car I'll be there in a sec," said Tony.

"Okay. It was nice meeting you all!" You said as you walked to the car.

"You ready to go, kiddo?" Tony asked as he got in the car and fastened his seatbelt.

"Are we going home? Like, back to Malibu?" you asked as he started the car and pulled out.

"Yea," he smiled. "I think we deserve a break."

"What about the tower?"

"We're working on it. It'll be fixed in no time."

"Good," you sighed

"Good?"

"I don't mind it anymore. I don't think it would be so bad if we moved here."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Really."

Next chapter ->

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

🏷 ↴

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#tony stark #avengers 2012 #tony stark x daughter #tony stark x teen!reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #marvel loki #loki laufeyson #avengers tower #bruce banner #natasha romanoff #clint barton #steve rogers #dreamy clousds #thor odinson #pepper potts #pepper potts x tony stark #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x stark!daughter #mcu peter parker #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fanfiction #tony stark x stark!reader #tony stark fanfiction #peter parker series #tony stark series #marvel series #— ✎ txt

[collabwithmyself]

1-3: Turnabout Transfix (2/2)

The article in the paper under the list of missing persons had the wrong name before "Wright, age nine," and a lump formed in Miles's throat.

"That's not his name," he tried to say. It came out as a croak. "We told them his name was Phoenix. I know we did."

Ray, sitting beside him at the dining room table, looked disgusted but defeated. "They added it as a footnote," he pointed out. ""Responds to Phoenix"... Nick's not a dog."

Miles wanted to hunt down every copy of the paper and throw them all into the trash can. His best friend was missing, and people were calling him the wrong name because he wasn't there to stop them. It wasn't fair.

Miles looked to Ray as though he had an answer to right this horrible injustice. Ray looked as tired and frustrated as he felt, chewing on a thumbnail as he thought deeply.

"We can head down and talk to them," he offered, after a long pause.

That was what Father would have done. He would have marched right down to the office where they printed the paper and demanded a retraction. But nobody was going to take a freshman law student and his newly adopted nine year old seriously.

"It's worth a try," Miles responded, because a defense attorney should never give up hope.

⁂

Staying up late to scrutinize the series he already knew by heart for clues of some sort was a mistake, and Miles knew it. His eyes began to droop only partway through the season as Maya snored against his side, and he was vaguely aware he was becoming less and less alert every time he had to pull his head back up from his chest.

It didn't occur to him that he shouldn't be letting himself doze off in the presence of company.

His sleep was never restful. Every night, his subconscious was forcibly yanked back to the day everything changed.

Some nights, he found himself reliving what he was certain was a memory. The dialogue never changed, the action never shifted. A heated argument in the elevator, a foolish bid to stop it, a single gunshot, and that horrid, high-pitched wail of agony that he knew belonged to one of the people he'd lost that day.

Other times, he dreamed not of his father, but of Phoenix.

Those dreams changed, but they remained the same nonetheless. Whether running through the streets with Larry, or through the backyard of his home, or through the hallways of the courthouse, the same thing always happened - Phoenix disappeared. Maybe he ran too far ahead, or lagged too far behind, but Miles's friend was suddenly nowhere to be found, and he felt painfully, crushingly alone.

His subconscious had decided to grace him with the former that night, and when he woke up with "father" on his lips and sweat on his forehead, a rumpled-looking Maya was staring at him in undisguised concern.

"...are you o--"

Miles turned away from her and said nothing, effectively stopping the conversation before it began.

Maya was silent, and when Miles glanced back over, her gaze was fixed on the television, which was still playing through the old episodes of Steel Samurai. She lacked the enthusiasm they both shared for the show, however. She seemed deep in thought.

"...you don't wanna talk about it?" she asked quietly.

He and Uncle Ray never talked after nightmares. One would get up to find the other in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea, and silently join them, knowing the other was thinking of the same thing but not having the courage to voice it aloud. Saying it gave it form, and Miles refused to shed any more tears over something he knew full well was his fault.

"No," Miles responded, sharp and blunt all at once.

"You wanna talk about something else, then?" Maya glanced sideways at him. "I used to talk with Sis after I had nightmares. It helped get my mind off things."

Miles hesitated. "Something else sounds nice," he said quietly.

"How about court today? Prosecutor von Karma was hopping mad, huh?" Maya let a grin stretch across her face as she leaned towards Miles. "She looked like she wanted to tear her hair out. Or maybe yours."

"That woman needs to see a therapist," he muttered.

"I think we all do, My."

"...you've got me there."

⁂

As the trial wore on throughout its second day, Sascha von Karma continued to act stranger and stranger. Before the judge could reprimand her for being far too harsh with the witness, Cody Hackins faltered and lost the confidence Miles had been working hard to build up about his witness account, a terrified look in his eyes. To his surprise, von Karma went ashen and actually stumbled back a little, like she hadn't meant to push a little boy nearly to tears.

Honestly, with her disposition, Miles wouldn't have thought she would care. But here she was, clutching her side, eyes blown wide with something like fear. Something in Miles's stomach turned over. Was he actually feeling sympathetic for this ferocious woman?

But it wasn't just him. Mia beside him (that had been a jolt to his nervous system -- he hadn't been able to see her clearly the last time Maya had summoned her) had her brow furrowed in concern as she stared at the prosecution. "I haven't seen her make a face like that since..."

Miles glanced at her. "Since... what?"

"...don't worry about it. Focus on the trial here and now, Miles." Mia gave him that mysterious smile that meant she was withholding important information from him. He knew it well. He huffed at her, and she huffed back.

Despite Mia's testimony, von Karma had that same look on her face as Vasquez took the stand the next day, wide eyes flicking between the witness and the defense bench. She was strangely silent, not offering a single protest as Miles proceeded with the cross-examination.

But he couldn't afford to wonder about it. Vasquez was clever and tight-lipped, and his attempts to wring her testimony dry and find something to pin her down were fruitless. She and the judge had both gotten irritated at this point, and when Miles hesitated, scrambling to find some point he hadn't pressed, the latter decided he'd had enough.

Miles cursed inwardly as the judge raised his gavel. Vasquez adjusted the pin of her shawl, self-assured in her victory. This was the end. He was prepared to accept defeat.

He couldn't have possibly prepared for what happened next, however.

"OBJECTION!"

Miles jerked his head up. Beside him, Maya gasped in surprise.

Across the room from him, left arm outstretched in a frantic point, was a frazzled, trembling Sascha von Karma.

She stared blankly at her own hand, as though it had moved of its own volition. Then she jumped - actually jumped - when the judge demanded to know the meaning for the interruption.

"Right! Uh. Um. The reason I objected," she babbled, "is because... uhh..."

It was the least composed Miles had ever seen her. He was bewildered. What did she think she was doing?

"...I don't have a reason," she admitted, shoulders slumping.

"Er..." The judge blinked owlishly at her. "Very well. Now--"

"OBJECTION!"

The poor judge looked as baffled as Miles felt. "Miss von Karma?"

"I... I request that the witness testify again!" she blurted out, digging her fingers into the desk. She looked disheveled, stray hairs having slipped out of her ponytail to poke out at a very odd angle. "I, um... I want to hear about... the, uh..."

Vasquez snarled with impatience. "Why are you badgering me? I'm your witness!"

"I'm inclined to agree!" the judge added. "I see little point in making Ms. Vasquez repeat herself..."

Miles looked at Maya. Maya looked at Miles. What?? Maya mouthed at him. Miles shrugged helplessly.

von Karma floundered. "Uh... yeah... great point... ummmmMMM! I want to-- I wish to hear about the body discovery! What happened after you found it?"

That hadn't occurred to Miles. But what could that possibly reveal? And why was von Karma risking sabotaging her own case by asking after it? She practically had the win in the bag, and after Miles had humiliated her so thoroughly after their last clash in court, she had no reason to let this continue.

What was going on?

⁂

The relief of a not guilty verdict and the butterflies of being in such close proximity to Mr. Powers yet again were a powerful combination that filled Miles's mind with fuzz and forced out any less important thoughts, like von Karma's odd behavior or Maya tugging on his coat.

"M-My! Hey! Miles! Kilometers! Little My!"

"H-Hrm?"

Maya pointed to somewhere behind him. "I, um... I think you're in trouble."

Miles turned, and flinched when he found himself nose to nose with a furious prosecutor.

"You," von Karma snarled, "should not be expecting a repeat performance of today! You're lucky I took pity on you! You got that?!"

Her voice raised to a yell as she spoke, and her burning eyes pinned Miles where he stood. He leaned away, but she just leaned forward.

"Don't you dare be expecting a shred of mercy from me from now on! You may be the son of that loathsome excuse of a defense attorney, and the favorite of that voluptuous wretch--"

Now, Miles was not going to sit there and take that. "You should never speak ill of the dead, Miss von Karma," he snapped, straightening his spine and making her flinch away. He met her glare with all the intensity he could muster...

...and then paused.

How curious.

"Wh... What? What is it?" von Karma's hastily plucked brows furrowed as an edge of nervousness worked its way into her voice, and Miles realized he'd spoken aloud.

"Your eyes," he continued hesitantly. They were heterochromatic - one brown, one blue. "They reminded me of someone. An old friend."

von Karma inexplicably blanched. She looked distant for a moment, and her left hand dug into her right side, just below her ribcage. "You... wh..."

Then she shook herself, and that boiling anger was back full force. "Why are you getting all nostalgic on me, you-- ugh! You listen closely, Ed... E-Edge..."

Again, she went pale, looking ill. Miles was starting to worry after her health at this point, despite the fact he was in the middle of being screamed at. "Er..."

"You... you listen closely, Worthless!" She thrusted a finger up towards him, nearly jamming it up his nose with how close she was. "These eyes... you'll see them and know nothing but despair once we meet again, you hear me?! I'm going to crush you, and I'm going to enjoy it!"

Without waiting for a response, she turned on her heel and stomped off, seething.

Maya coughed weakly. "Uh. Wow. What was that all about?"

Miles stared after Sascha von Karma, his gut clenching with inexplicable grief. "I have no earthly idea."

⁂

You failed again.

You can't even blame him this time.

This is all your fault.

Victory was within your grasp.

All that matters to a von Karma is perfection.

And yet you gave him an opening.

A von Karma should be swift and merciless.

You're weak. He's gotten into your head. You can't stop thinking about him.

Even his name makes you sick.

Miles Edgeworth...

...

...why does it feel like you're forgetting something?

#ace attorney #roleswap au #turnabout transition #long post #collab writes #collab draws #collab doodles #miles edgeworth #maya fey #mia fey #phoenix wright #dee vasquez #the judge #raymond shields #misgendering #misgendering tw

[moonlight-mellohi]

One Trainer’s Trash is Another Pokemon's Family

So if you didn't know, i ended up taking a hiates from writing ANYTHING for a bit, but I was just sitting around earlier and thought "huh, there was that oneshot I kinda wanted to write" and BOOM im formating this at 2am when I finished writing so I can just post this in the morning.

Also note me writing this does not mean I'm fully back to writing because I tbh have no clue when I'll be back in full writing mode, a lot of stuff is going on irl around health issues (I'm good dont worry, just trying to figure out this issue so we can fix it) and my mind hasn't been able to put words together into written sentences well recently for anything, so exspect everything and nothing!!

So @sugarglider9603.... enjoy! If anyone seems off its probably because I haven't wrote in like 4 months :D

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Master Post

Words: 1,651

Summery: ' "I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited. '

 

A chance encounter is about to change three lives forever

“Slow down!” the Eevee hissed to his companion, running through the crowd of humans to catch up. His green and brown eyes swept the crowd, making sure no one grew suspicious and followed the two Eevees, sighing as he thankfully saw everyone's gaze sweep past them, uninterested.

There had been a few incidences when a trainer or a ‘nurse’ had tried to catch them, whether for his strange fur markings, trying to get his friend’s fur cleaned (no one held him for long once that information was leaked), or purely for them being Eevees. He’d heard it all, common lines being “hey are you lost?”, “where is your trainer?”, “is that a wild Eevee?” and of course, the most common

“I’ve got to catch it!”

Heh, no one had succeeded yet, and he didn’t plan that to change any time soon. Or ever.

“Not sorry” the simple line snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked over to the grinning Eevee that probably did need a bath “but I heard yelling in the back alley of the Good Place, and I just have to see if it's new!” The ‘Good Place’ was a restaurant the two constantly saw in their travels from town to town. While they couldn’t read the written name, and wouldn’t dare get close enough to a human to simply know the name when it had no use to them, it always had an identical symbol at every location. It was his trash loving companions (and though he would never admit it, his own as well) favorite location to get food.

“Very well, lead the way” with a flick of their tails, they rounded the last few corners to the back alley where two large dumpsters lay. As a Trubbish scurred off at the sight of them they both leapt up, balancing as they opened one off the lids.

He sat watch as the other squealed and dove in, rummaging through and ripping open plastic bags with sharp teeth. They always had the same parts when working together, he would keep watch making sure no one saw them from the regular path or had any workers walk out the door, while the other would search, eating what he wanted and tossing stuff up to save for later. They had tried to swap jobs once, but it was a mess that nearly got them caught if it wasn’t for his own keen ears, so they kept to their own and worked together.

He glanced at the door, the symbol imprinted on it. Doing this dumpster diving always reminded himself when he was alone. How he’s grateful to have a friend. Actually, doing it at the Good Place always reminded himself when he met the trashy Eevee. It was just after-

A paw swatted at his face, causing him to dodge. He seemed to be falling into nastolga easily today, he thought shaking it out of his fur.

“Did you hear me? I said all these bags have already been looked through” the other huffed “they must have used the other one, which is weird because they usually use the one closer to the door first….” he frowned, confused before brightening “anyways can you help me open the other lid?”

The clean Eevee nodded, hopping across to the other dumpster.

______________________________

 

Sta- he shivered, the angry yells still echoing in his ears. She was so mad when she discovered there was no dragon evolution, when she finally discovered he was completely useless. He glanced at the snapped pokeball at his paws, fallen through a space between a few garbage bags.

 

He knew he had to get out of here, but what was the point? He was with a trainer up till now, and while she was horrible he was still at least alive. But to try and survive on his own? No, he might as well just curl up on this garbage, might as well just

A scene flash in his mind, of a Pecha bush laying under a sprawling indigo sky. Two other faces similar yet different then his, laughing, smiling.

 

He couldn't give up, not yet, not until he could find them again.

 

Chatter and a crash of heavy plastic hitting a wall distracted him from the thoughts racing through his head. He pressed low against the bags, ears flat as he waited. Were there people taking trash out? No.. that didn't sound human, that sounded

 

The lid thunked twice, before late afternoon light poured down onto his dark brown fur. He froze as another pokemon fell down in front of him, another Eevee.

 

He was bigger, though everyone was bigger. His fur seemed to be a normal shade of brown, yet it was hard to tell with all the dirt and dust coating it. He looked up into the newcomer's eyes, surprise and delight filled them to the brim.

 

"Oh? OH!" The other gasped for only a moment before flashing forwards, grabbing him lightly by his scruff and before he knew it St- he was in open air and sat on the hard plastic lid.

 

"Hey hey!" The Eevee scrambled across to another Eevee, his turned back to the both of them. The third Eevee's ear twitched to show they were listening, watching the humans walk by.

 

"I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

 

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

 

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

 

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited.

 

"Hmm" seemingly gaining his composure, the one on watch came over to inspect him further, sniffing curiously at his fur "I don't think so, he smells too much of humans" the trash Eevee visibly shrunk.

"No!" He cried, snapping his jaw closed at the sudden speaking "I, I me- mean no, I had a trainer, but I don't have one anymore" he attempted to explain, hissing at himself for stuttering.

 

"I uh" he coughed, attempting to clear his throat, "I, I'm sorry for disturbing your search" he flicked his tail toward the two before curling it around himself, finally looking into the others faces. It was at the moment he noticed the strange markings around the single green eye on the watcher.

 

"It's no problem," the calmer one replied. He looked as if he were about to continue, before the trash Eevee popped "hey, have you gotten food today?"

 

He blinked, thinking about all that happened since dawn. Dawn, when his trai- ex-trainer had learned the news.

 

"I.. haven't?" He tried, not wanting to test his luck. They were strangers, he had to be cautious.

 

"Here!" The other dove back into the trash. He leaned over frantically, thankful to see the pokeball halfs had sunken out of sight. If they ever asked why he was in there, he would just tell them he was looking for food.

No one would find out the true reason. Well.. maybe two others, but that would have to wait till he found them again. He would find them again.

 

The walking trash pile hopped back up, dropping what seemed to be a freshly thrown away berry skewer at his feet.

 

He looked up, alarmed "no, I couldn't-" "oh don't worry" the other's purr sounded like a motorcycle "we'll survive without a few berries."

 

While he was still uncertain, his stomach grumbled with hunger so he bent down and took a bite of closest fully intact berry. When the sweet familiar taste hit his mouth, he barely stopped the tears. Arceus really had to do that, didn't they.

 

"Everything ok?" He looked up from the Pecha berry, the special marked Eevee looking at his watery eyes with concern.

 

"Y-yes, just haven't eaten anything this sweet in a while" he lied quickly, finishing what he could before pushing towards the others "here, might as well not let this go to waste" he smiled.

 

The marked Eevee hummed before taking a bite from a nearby Oran berry.

 

After a bit, the dirty Eevee spoke a question he knew was coming "so, you said you had a trainer, do you have a name?"

 

He paused, thinking, before shaking his head "she never gave me one."

 

The others nodded in understanding. He looked out at the people walking in the street, passing by with no clue of the trio sitting on the dumpsters.

 

He didn’t have a name, not to them at least. To them, he would be the Eevee that they found, the Eevee they took in, the Eevee one day they would realize they see as a brother, the Eevee that would inevitably disappear in the back of a truck

One day there would be another family, they would know him as Virgil, Virgil who they found in the forest, Virgil who followed them everywhere, Virgil who got caught finally by his own free will

But no one would know him as Star but his original family. No one would know him as Star, the being who hatched into the world with an angry scream that was not his own, Star, the one who fell in love with the sky on his first night of his existence, Star, the one who found family and then was ripped away from it in his sleep

Star, who would keep searching till the ends of the Earth to find his family.

 

But for now, he was just a strange looking Eevee in a strange situation, hiding his name from everything and everyone, and that was ok.

 

He glared at the crowd of humans walking by peacefully. There was only one thing left from his life with.. with the Dragon, one thing he would keep

He would never trust another human again.

#the moon has spoken #the moon has writen #WOAH THATS A TAG THAT EXISTS #sorry it honestly feels like its been forever since i wrote #do not post to another site #i will post it where i want it posted on the account i want it posted on #alright long list o tags? NO CLUE K LETS GO (someone let me do this tagging at 2am who did it) #teaming the pieces together #sander sides #sanders sides #pokemon #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #DO NOT ADDITIONAL TAG FOR ANY OF THESE THREE LIKE 'TWs' OR DUKEDONTLOOK PLEASE #it makes me really sad especially since they're super sympathetic in this AU #i feel like i wrote their encounter in a bad way hekkkk but i also dont wanna rewrite it #theyre Eevees not humans go awayyy #food tw #eating tw #garbage #trash #please tell me if i missed any tags #also please tell me if i went to exstreme in any area (includeing my ramble in the tags) #im a growing writer and also really tired right now ao i might have ssid something too extreme and if i did #im honestly very very sorry

[iguanasarecute]

(2) THE NEW STUDENT OF CLASS 1-A:

🔸Damnly falling inlove with Katsuki Bakugo (BNHA)

ORIGINS 1. CLICK HERE.

Origins 2: This Damned beautiful newbie

summary: A new student was with Bakugo the whole day while he was on house-arrest. Giving them a moment to talk the whole day without the class being around. When everyone finished the class, they caught the new-student and Bakugo in a strange position which gave everyone a bewildering expression.

[start]

Bakugou slouched on the couch, his adviser's venomous words lingering on his goddamn mind. What could possibly bring him down? He peered at the female that's a fucking candidate of future's Top 1 hero; the damsel who might liberate his fucking rank. Can she be possibly be doing any shenanigans that might ameliorate her quirk right now? He gawked at the female... who was eating macaroni and cheese.

"Dude with the messy hair," the soft voice of her called, eyes still darted on her ambrosial meal.

The ash-blond raised his brows, "What the fuck? Me?"

"Uhh, who else would I be talking too?" Her eyes gazed at him, "I don't talk to myself, unlike you who's mumbling to yourself the whole time,"

"I'm not fucking talking to myself!" He growled while a blush crept on his cheeks.

She scoffed, "Yeah. Sure," she rolled her eyes, tilting her head, "Why are you looking at me?"

"You're fucking talking to me," Bakugou growled, turning his back while his arms crossed on his muscular chest.

She cackled, "No, no, before that. You were glimpsing at me," she munched on the last spoon of her cheesed pasta, hopping on the couch beside the feral boy, "Why are you here Bakugou?"

He scowled at her nosy attitude; she even already learnt his fucking name, and has the audacity to mock him with 'names', "Shut up dumbass," He ogled at her. Bakugou did admit that she's sorta, kinda, has a charismatic appearance.

Her head leaned closer to her, "Ooooooh, I'm guessing you're here because of loser duties?" (Y/N) smirked.

His eyes rolled, "I'm not a fucking loser!"

Her smirk grew wider, "Oh really, really, really?"

"I'm fucking top of the class!" His husky voice growled.

"Ohhh I feel so threatened," her voice sarcastically muttered.

"I'm on fuckung housearrest because I fucking blasted the hallway when dipshit's were taking a fucking long time to walk!" Bakugou scowled.

She blinked at his jaw clenching, "Geez, can you like don't cuss every minute?"

"GAGHHHH!" He roared, earning a giggle from Aiya, "Fuck you,"

The damsel patted his Ash-blonde hair, "So you do really have anger phases like everybody said,"

"It's not a fucking phase!" The feral guy growled. He usually blows off any obnoxious conversations; but he's frankly ecstatic about their exchange of insults.

"Hey so what do you do here? All aloneeee," she playfully gagged.

Bakugou rolled his eyes with her pesky talkativeness, "I killed germs,"

"You haven't thought about the germs' families? What a horror," her face etched on a bombshell expression.

"HAHHH?!" He grabbed a pillow ready to smack her face.

Aiya shielded with her arms, "Chill Bakugou," she rolled her eyes, "You know I haven't really organized my rooom yet," the new girl beamed at the scowling male.

"The fuck are you implying?"

Her face twinkled, "Why don't you come and give me a hand,"

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "I'd rather keep my hands to blast you off,"

(Y/N) groaned as she hopped out the couch, making her way to the stairs, "Come on now Bakugou!"

"Tch," The Ash-blonde growled.

"Don't make me force you," Aiya's eyes rolled.

His eyes squinted at the eccentric behaviour, "As if you fucking can!" He roared; moments later, the muscled body of his glowed yellow, "What the fu—"

Bakugou floated, gleaming yellow, while he was placed beside the young lady. Aiya smirked, "Told you don't force me,"

The ash-blonde coughed, "So you control things?"

She nervously laughed, "Uhh, I don't know, yes?" Her hands blasted the wall, revealing a portal... to her dorm room. The ash-blonde raised an eyebrow at her, "I'm really lazy to get up, you know," she grinned, as the two of them entered the generated portal.

The arrangement of her room consisted of them standing on the door; while the young lady mumbled about random stuff with her controlling everything with her mind as the floating furnitures slumped on its allotted whereabouts. Bakugou snarled at every single thing she blurted about; low-key lending his ears with all the shit she's grabbling.

~~~

The ash-blonde abruptly gave his brimful attention to her. Their afternoon was filled with Aiya talking about her piquant entity. Though Bakugou doesn't seem paying attention; an indicator that he is fully lending his ears, is when he keeps his feral mouth shut.

"Yeah, actually we are really close friends. The break-up had me crying for weeks; but it was a mutual decision," she glared at the Ash-blonde who gazed back at her while they were slumped on her bed with them on both opposite sides.

He raised an eyebrow, "What's the dipshit's name again?"

"Yo Shindo, a second year," the damsel grinned, "Dark brown hair; Has the same body frame as you, kinda,"

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "Don't know him. I don't go around memorizing people's hair colors,"

"I think you fought with him during Provisional License Exam," she yawned, "With the green costume and Vibration Quirk,"

The Ash-blonde growled, "Probably a fucking dumbass that didn't caught my attention," he coughed, "Aren't you on Provisional License Exam?"

The young teenager shook her head, "Got mine earlier. Weren't really that much involved on my class because I was always trained individually, they said I was too much ahead of my own class; I might just bring their confidence down,"

"That's shit," he shrugged.

Aiya nodded, "I was just mostly the face of the class; as I'm well-known in the entire school," she giggled, "I was beyond pleased when we moved around here. Then they transferred me here," her face lit up, "I mean come-on! U.A.! The prestigious academy,"

*** Height Alliance's front door unbolted, "Aiya? Bakugou?" Iida's voice boomed as they entranced.

"(Y/N)-chan?" Yaoyorozu yelled, as the familiar faces roamed their eyes in-search for them on the common room. On the other hand, the two teenagers weren't aware that their fellow classmates were home from class. ***

Bakugou nodded, "I still don't have a fucking clue about your quirk. Telekinesis and making portals?" He scoffed, gawking at the female.

"There's more than that, and you'll soon find out," a grin stamped on her face, while (Y/N)'s eyes leered on a tiny black hole on the ceiling. Her feet stepped on the ladder to repair the obnoxious thing on it.

*** Midoriya mumbled, "Maybe they're in their room?"

"Aizawa-sensei announced that her room's beside me. Let's check her out!" The pink female, Ashido speaked.

Denki gasped, "What could they possibly doing?"

"Oh my goooooood," Mineta kneeled, being dramatic.

Kirishima cackled, "Calm your shits dudes,"

The amphibian, Tsuyu, gaped at something on the wall, "Ribbit. A portal from the fourth floor is here," she notified them, as the students sprinted to have a look. ***

(Y/N) sighed, scrutinizing at the minor repaired hole; convinced, she was approaching down at the ladder. Then her foot slipped. Bakugou's reflexes was seen as he jolted to grab the teenage female, before hitting the floor. Both of their eyes went round, the insides of them burning, as their nose touched lying on the floor.

The squeaky door slammed open, "HELLO AIYA-CHAN!" The class exclaimed, blissfuly. Their reactions shifted from enthusiastic to bewildered as soon as they eyed the two teenagers, nose-touched.

"BAKUGOU?!" Kaminari boomed.

Mineta went drowsy, "Bakugou— I never knew— A hot female— Bakug—" his little temples fainted. Leaving the class 1-A, in a baffled state.

—

END OF CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3. CLICK HERE- continue reading

VIEW ALL THE CHAPTERS

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