#consider this a sequel..... poem is my own writing :-)

[shuinami]

Got any Encanto unpopular opinions that you’d like to share? 🙈

No, damn it, but since you want to draw me out, here I go 😭😭😭:

(Also, if I get proven wrong on any of these, I'll fully accept the L 😫)

Starting off with my staple, I don't think Isabela and Dolores are true besties. I think they're close, but not besties, at least not at the time the movie was taking place, but maybe when they were younger.

In the same vein, I have the exact same feelings about Mirabel and Camilo, except I think they'd be less close than Isabela and Dolores.

I don't think Mariano was intended to come across as unintelligent as the fandom has made him out to be. I feel like everyone took Mirabel name-calling him a "big dumb hunk" wayyy too literally, but the creators are probably gonna run with the fandom take now.

And I think his poems and songs would be good. This is meta but Maluma (Mariano's VA) started out songwriting because he wrote ghost-wrote love poems for his friends to impress gyaldem and it worked, and then he went on to become a global popstar (purr). Disney has based little details off of the VAs in the past so... 🧐 Like, put some respect on my man's name, he may be stupid in love but he can write a banger for sure

I think Bruno - rightly - grew a bit bitter towards the Encantownies for always blaming him for everything.

I don't think Dolores knew for sure that Bruno was still in Casita, just had a suspicion (because, as well, who tf would guess they have secret corridors and rooms in the walls of their house?)

This one is a bet, but I'm a gambling gyal: I don't think Isabela will be able to grow fruit and veg post-rebuild 😬 (not that I know of some scientific difference, I just don't think that's the metaphor)

I think Camilo's VA might get recast if they do a series instead of a sequel 💀 Love Rhenzy but I get the vibe that it was just a bag and a cool opportunity to him but not something he's invested in

I don't think Antonio would go vegetarian or vegan or anything like that, I think he becomes really mature to the madness within the animal kingdom so a lot of stuff wouldn't bother him as much as it would other people.

I don't think Dolores' power is as bad or overwhelming for her as the fandom makes it out to be. She looked fine with the fireworks, all she did was cover her ears, but was still smiling and enjoying herself. Fireworks are LOUD, I even cover my sub-par ears for fireworks, christmas crackers, party poppers, etc. Ole girl is fine, especially considering her gift.

I don't think the family were that tight before the house crumbled. I think they were mostly wrapped up with their own shit cause when I think of 'dysfunctional family that lives in the same house', I think of the drama series, Greenleaf. If you've never watched, it's basically pure unadulterated mess, secrets, lies and drama. Sure the family have their moments, their bonds, but in general everyone's got their own bs to deal with. So, whilst, of course they do a lot together, (and it's a Disney family so it won't be as intense) I feel like they don't really pour their hearts out and support each other in a very genuine way until they start working on changing the family dynamics when they rebuild Casita.

Okay, that's all the hot takes that I could think of for now...

#encanto unpopular opinions #encanto headcanons #encanto #dolores madrigal #isabela madrigal #camilo madrigal #mariano guzman #antonio madrigal #bruno madrigal #shui meta

[lurking-latinist]

For the "yet another writing ask" list: 10, 19, 30, 36, 40

10. Favorite tropes.

already answered! But I also like platonic fake marriage, people thinking a character is dead and then they aren't, and anything that messes with characters' minds/perceptions/mental states.

19. Snippet from a WIP: Found one that isn't for an exchange!

“Is it always like that for you?” she asks. “A surprise regeneration, I mean. So sudden and disorganized and—ugh.”

30. Fic that almost happened.

already answered, but here's another: I really wanted to write a sequel to my first-ever fic, the Mel and Six first meeting one, when I realized I had not even remotely gotten to the part where she finds out he's an alien or sees the TARDIS or anything. I even had a title: "Tact and Finesse." But I think it's been long enough that, even if I do write a Mel's-first-TARDIS-trip story, it won't feel continuous with "All the Time in the World."

36. How do I come up with fic titles?

I text Moki and Jan and they come up with them. XD Seriously, though, group brainstorming is excellent. When I'm very lucky, the fic was inspired by a prompt or quote or song that provides a good title. Sometimes I can mine a character playlist for a relevant line, although my #1 source of titles is probably Shakespeare ("to all our nights and days to come," "ruin hath taught me thus to ruminate," "were it not that I have bad dreams," "That Which We Call"), or possibly folk music ("and will not let me sleep," "they'll turn me in your arms, lady," "whistle and I'll come to you," "like a bird on the wing," "True Love and Time (goes on forever)," interestingly not "From 'A Complete Guide to Scottish Music'" but that's only because quoting from "Macrimmon's Lament" isn't really original anymore) with the poems of Andrew Marvell ("and opposition of the stars," "the mind, that ocean where each kind / does straight its own resemblance find") as a contender as well.

When I use a quote as a title I like to choose something long enough to be confusing (i.e. not just "Nights and Days") but short enough to be incomprehensible out of context. I'm not sure this is actually a good decision but it's what I do.

If it's a short piece like a prompt fill or random ficlet, unless I feel a carefully considered title is needed to give the right mood/context to a drabble, I generally just pick something that vaguely refers to what happens in the fic, often a single word.

I used to title all my Seven/Romana fics after some kind of literary device, but I gave up after forcing "Antanaclasis" onto a drabble that it didn't really fit.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

"It doesn't work with the brake off?" said Romana.

#writing ask game

[wilheminalibrary]

9/15/2023

Its Own Kind of Ambition

There’s a concept in advertising that tik-tak’d its little chitinous legs all the way up my spine and wrapped itself around my brain like the monster in the Vincent Price movie The Tingler. It’s called “extension” or “blow out” meaning any good idea needs to be blown out into an omnichannel message that has bespoke activations across its various platforms. What does this idea look like in social? What about on the website? This has so rewired my brain that I see everything big picture now.

There’s an anecdote I heard about the novelist David Morrell negotiating the movie rights to First Blood: Completely clueless about the process, Morrell got an entertainment lawyer on referral from a friend. Immediately, this lawyer includes sequel rights and merchandizing rights into Morrell’s contract. Morrell calls this lawyer and complains. “Sequels? He dies at the end. And he’s a murderous Vietnam vet, who’s buying lunchboxes of that?”

“You never know,” said the lawyer and, sure enough…

It’s fucking Rambo. You know the punchline.

This is a story meant to make the audience chuckle knowingly. To wipe their brows and phew for Mr. Morrell who almost missed the gravy train. I hear the story and get nostalgic for Morrell’s mindset. I miss when ideas were ideas and stories were stories. My brain too easily plays the lawyer, slickly looking at every idea and seeing lunchboxes, sequels, series, action figures.

I tell people that I started taking poetry “seriously” when I was a teenager. That’s when my normal weekend habit of going to my local coffeehouse open mic opened its trapdoor and dropped me into the competitive slam scene. At that age, the challenge of competition pushed me to write more creatively, more boldly, and more honestly. I wrote pieces with complex choreography about my parents’ divorce. I wrote poems about my very complicated relationship with masculinity (hold for laughs) and, for the most part, was rewarded for it.

Poets at every bout had books and CDs. I wrote enough poems to fill an album, a book, a “feature” at a coffeeshop or venue. I didn’t feel any internal charge for these parts of the process, I just noticed other poets doing it and, like smoking cigarettes and writing dirty haiku, I figured it was something I ought to be doing. Poets started talking about “publishing” and “submitting” to literary magazines and websites and prizes. I did that, too. Poets started slamming, competing with performances of their poems for randomized panels of judges for scores from 1 to 10. I did that, too. Ironically, this hobby rooted in authentic self-expression was pushing me to express myself in ways I wouldn’t have considered otherwise. This all eventually culminated in me writing myself into a burnout and a seven-year hiatus from writing poems.

I couldn’t sit down and write without, if you’ll pardon me for torturing the metaphor, thinking about the price of lunch boxes. How does this fit in a book? How does it sound live? What kind of scores would it get in Minneapolis? I was advertising years before I ever went to ad school. Since going to ad school, as explained above, only made those instincts sharper. Nowadays, whenever I flex my creative muscles, I risk cutting them on those instincts.

It’s only recently that I’ve been making a more concerted effort to break that habit. Writing for fun, writing only when I feel compelled to write, and writing without a long-term plan. It takes more effort than I’d like to admit, but I enjoy the process more. I have friends who I share things with. I have a community I write for. I no longer feel quite as hungry for recognition outside of myself.

I’m sure a lot of this new push has to be laid, like everything lately, at the altar of my transition. The hollow of my heart no longer seemed to plummet quite so deep once I figured out the fundamental wrong of my body. The hole used to rumble for things like recognition, validation, acknowledgment, striving for fulfillment. Now I realize all it needed was the truth, and the understanding that I was a woman.

The craft still matters. Every piece and thing I write still has to be good by my own metric. I am simply more gentle with myself. I submit to journals when I feel like it. I perform when I can. I no longer eat until my teeth break. I know longer write with ambition.

Save, of course, for the ambition to simply be happy.

Yours with an open mouth,

-B

#transgender #poetry #blog #ambition #backlog

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

1, 5, 7, 9, 12, 15, 21, 25, 26, 30

As always it's a lot. Answer as many as you please!

Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time?

Already answered this, but I suppose I can give you my actually first ever OC lol

His name… is Action Bear XD I came up with him when I was six or seven; he’s a superhero bear that saves baby animals XD XD

And nah, I don’t use him anymore 😅

What are some of your OCs biggest fears?

Uhh… well, I have over 300 OCs, so there’s a big variety!

Eddie has pretty bad PTSD and is scared of most doctor equipment.

Blanket is terrified of shots.

Merilyn is scared of human interaction lol (me)

Eli’s just scared of losing his kids.

Levi’s very protective, and he’s scared of losing his brothers.

Riff and Raff are terrified of losing each other (but not scared of much else; they’re my beloved idiots 😊)

Elmer’s scared of water and the people he loves getting hurt.

Anthony is scared of punishment.

And those are just a few!

What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

I really like Eli and his boys (father-kids)!

And strangely enough, I really enjoy the romantic relationships between my characters! It’s strange because I almost always prefer the platonic relationships in fandoms!!

But yeah, Eddie/Fern, Naomi/Jonah, Felix/Raina, and Levi/Sia are ones I really like :)

Favourite OC?

You’re asking me to CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN?!!! MY BELOVEDS?!!! MY BABIES?!!! NO!!! NO I CANNOT DO THAT!!!

Genuinely I can’t do that lol I like them all <3

Which story took the most research?

Already answered this, but for you I’ll give a published fic!

I suppose I Was Nothing But A Kid Who Couldn’t Understand? Though, I did more research for the direct sequel (still in the process of writing) than this specific story.

How many projects do you have going on right now? Are there any that you doubt you’ll ever finish?

Oh man, let me COUNT!

I have 18 that I’m working on right now, but I have like… a hundred more that I’m no longer focusing on but are still unfinished.

When did you start considering yourself a writer/artist?

Probably when I was six or seven and wrote my first picture book :)

What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read?

Ooh… favorite genre to write is probably angst, or something having to do with close platonic relationships, or stories with heavy dialogue!!

Favorite genre to read is… angst lol. I looove my angst.

What are your favourite books?

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

What Beauty There Is by Cory Anderson

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate

What About Will by Ellen Hopkins <3

(I own none of these and that must Change)

How are you doing? <3

Pretty well, actually! Tomorrow I will be in the car for A FULL DAY and I’m excited :D I love big car trips!!

I just finished a poem last night at 2am, and I’m really happy with it!

Been listening to lots of good music the past couple days :D

#ask #ask game answers #thanks for all the questions Deathy!!

[keeper0fthestars]

Tumblr Writers Q&A

Thank you lovely @fromthedeskoftheraven and @songsformonkeys for the tag, your answers are fascinating, i really enjoyed reading them! 💕

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)? None.

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? ooof *hides head in hands* 27 (not counting my notes app)

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? Both!! I have taken requests, I’ve even managed to finish a few!! Altho i am the slowest writer ever and there are requests sitting in my inbox that are a year old. I would love to be able to thrive on requests or prompts but here’s the thing: I write for myself, I write to cope with my own circumstance and I don’t know how to trick my brain into writing for someone else 😅

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? Currently I have 5 requests in my inbox. (My most sincere apologies to dia and flora 😭)

5) How many fandoms do you write for? The Mandalorian - Triple Frontier - Narcos

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? lotr, the hobbit, marvel, plus others that we won’t discuss ok 😂

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? Writing reader inserts from second person was new to me when i joined this fandom. I don't use y/n though.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? None, really!

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? Heck yes. More importantly tho, I leave comments on everything i read. Writing is hard and supporting other writers is how I show my appreciation for what they do.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? Fluff. Romance. Soft smut. Domesticity.

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)? Fave trope to write: I can’t write without a healthy dose of feelings/comfort/safety. There’s a reason all my fics feature Established Relationships. Throw in a Gruff competent badass who is only soft for their s/o??? I froth. That’s my ultimate jam …but I’m always hungry to read mutual pining, slow burn, mild hurt/comfort, only one bed, idiots to lovers, fake dating, huddling for warmth. Also I love a good italicized oh moment.

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? I’ve been known to write fics based off a single inspo photo/gif.. so to some extent I’m visually motivated, seeing as I have a sideblog dedicated to visual inspiration. Having said that, once I have an idea in place, nothing motivates me more than making a playlist/moodboard - or finding a perfect poem or line of lyrics. Flailing with others in the chat sometimes helps get the words flowing.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? So many. Sci-fi, Historical romance, time travel, oooh also poetry, stuff that I find too intimidating to attempt myself.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? I’ve never really thought in those terms before tbh.

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction? since highschool

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? Not at all, actually. Like @songsformonkeys also mentioned, it wasn't until after i had years and years of notebooks filled with fics, that I discovered other people did that too.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? I also use AO3.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”? You can call it whatever you want, I'll still read it.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other? i've only ever been able to publish one-shots, although i have multi-chap ideas and one day I’d love to be able to tackle a proper fic.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? I have sequels and/or prequels planned for a few of my one shots, and I hope to finish writing them. But if we’re talking incomplete wips, yeah, several been abandoned because i got stuck midway through and lost motivation.

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr? Sadly, some of the best fics I’ve had the pleasure of reading on here get little to no recognition. Idk if this is a pet peeve and idk if anyone else relates but I will say it is daunting to post your writing on a platform like this. For an introvert like me, it’s a very ‘nose pressed into the glass’ type of thing - like you’re crashing a party where everyone there is already friends, and I don’t know if that feeing ever goes away, at least for me.

22) Do you write at a particular time of day? I write whenever free time and inspiration collide, which is not as often as i'd like.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? I'm stealing Raven's answer because same: Definitely silence, I need to hear my thoughts.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? if I do outline, it's done in my head. Sometimes a single line of conversation spills out first, and I write the whole thing in bits and pieces around that. If I’m very lucky I can stitch it all together into a complete fic.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? Listen. I am a chronic editor, and I always let it sit for a few days and then come back to it with fresh eyes before i post it. But yes, once I'm happy with it, I almost always upload and post on the spot.

I don’t know who would like a tag or who has not done this yet so feel free to ignore🌸: @mourningbirds1 @hiscyarika @thirstworldproblemss @magpie-to-the-morning @floraandfrost @thosewickedlovelies @qveenbvtch @starlight-starwrites @miraclesabound @lareinadehades

#if you just read all of this I’m so sorry 😅 #writer tag game #can you still call yourself a writer if you have not written anything since november asking for a friend 🥲

[scripturiends]

stole all the air from my atmosphere

Read on ao3

Summary: Han Joonhwi thinks maybe pulling all-nighters wasn’t so bad after all, even when you’ve practically finished studying ages ago.

Rating: T

Word count: 1,577

Notes: Inspired by a poem by Timothy Joshua. And totally optional, but I recommend listening to this song while reading.

~

Hey, all. Thanks for waiting patiently for an update. This fic is in response specifically to a request I received here. I know a lot of people have been requesting for a sequel to ‘gave me no compasses, gave me no signs’ as well; truthfully, I’m not sure if this fic is in the same ‘universe’ as that one — all I can definitively say is that this still follows the canon. So, I’ll leave it up to you to decide if it’s the same timeline or not. I have a lot of fic ideas lined up for an “official” sequel, anyway. ;) 

The Solhwi brain rot just gets more potent as we anticipate the new episodes — I absolutely love receiving plot ideas from all of you, and while it’s a challenge to interpret it in my own way, I still hope that it’s on par with your expectations. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments. You can send me a message anytime too! I know I say this often, but your continued support really really keeps me motivated to write. Would love to make new friends as well, if we can help it.

Okay, the note is getting too long now. As usual, the fic is under the cut, and all mistakes in this fic are mine. Enjoy! 

~

There was that moment, when you stole all the air from my atmosphere; when my heart pounded within the might of all the planets.

It’s the third time Han Joonhwi has bit his tongue in the past ten minutes, attempting to stifle his oncoming yawns, trying not to cause any disturbance. He fights his drowsiness as best as he can, hoping that his companion wouldn’t notice — and yet, as his luck would have it, the moment he couldn’t hold it in any longer just so happened to be the exact same moment the person next to him lifted her nose from the book it was buried in.

Without looking at him, she flips another page. Tone commanding but masked with concern, Kang Sol mumbles, “Just go to bed already.”

So much for being lowkey, he thought. Joonhwi stretches himself awake, thinking of the perfect response: casual enough to make it look like he doesn’t care, but caring enough that she wouldn’t push him away. “Not until you’re done,” he finalizes.

Sol scoffs, tossing her pen lightly on the table. “You don’t even take this class.” 

Well, of course he knew that. But Kang Sol A — truthfully, he prefers to omit the distinction: no matter how many Kang Sols there are in Korea, or hell, even in the entire world, he’s only got eyes for one — is not getting anything out of him. If getting Joonhwi to admit his true feelings was her goal, she’s far from reaching it.

“You know why I’m here,” he sidetracked. 

Unconvinced, she turns to him with a provoking look, and Joonhwi already knows she’s about to go on a long-winded rant. “Yeah, yeah, I do,” she started. “You want to hang out with me but instead of just asking like a normal person, you make up this lame excuse about how I need to study even though I was already planning on doing that anyway. You practically finished studying ages ago so you just sitting there doing nothing is really rubbing salt in my wounds.” 

He watches her with both his hands on his head, suppressing a smile. Finding an opening, Sol pushes his chest lightly. “I don’t need you here. Get out.” 

She said it so weakly that he knows there’s no way she could have meant it. Making sure she doesn’t lose her balance, Joonhwi quickly takes hold of her wrists and gently places them back on the table. “You talk too much,” he breathed. 

Sol purses her lips in annoyance and propped her chin up with her hand. “Yeah, well, that’s why you’re dating me,” she pouted.

If she keeps putting him in his place like this, he might actually have to walk out, but not for the reasons she’d expect him to, like his supposed exhaustion. Joonhwi knows Sol doesn’t do this on purpose, but she naturally has a way of making him flustered, and he’s trying really hard not to lose his cool right now. 

She stomps her feet lightly on the ground, groaning. “This is too difficult,” she complains, leaning her head on Joonhwi’s shoulder. 

Really, really hard.

It’s funny how Sol can say something one minute and then completely contradict it by the next. She says she doesn’t need him there, but clings onto him like her life depended on it. Not that Joonhwi was complaining — but he does want to have a little fun with her. He wanted to stir her a bit with something like, I thought you didn’t need me here? He knows she hates being called out for snappy remarks that she only ever means as a joke.

But a quick glance at Sol, in her favorite pajamas and one of Joonhwi’s sweaters, on the very rare occasions she has her hair down, bangs falling on her eyes, Joonhwi decided against it. Her vulnerability shouldn’t be treated with ridicule; it should be met with an equal amount of softness. After all, no one else but Joonhwi gets to see Sol like this — he finds that as a privilege which shouldn’t be taken for granted. 

“Okay.” He gives in. “Let me have a look.”

Joonhwi holds his palm out to ask for the reading material, which, as usual, Sol rejects. “Didn’t we already talk about this?”

He feigns innocence. “Talk about what?”

Her head feels heavy on his shoulder. “I need to be able to stand on my own if I’m going to survive law school hell,” she reminds him. “You can’t keep coming to my rescue for every little inconvenience.” 

“So this is just a minor setback?” Joonhwi teases. He couldn’t help it. 

“No,” Sol cries, “it’s a major obstacle.” 

She snuggles up against him, and Joonhwi could literally feel the heat rising to his face. Nonetheless, he lightly holds the side of her head for support and asks, “So what? Are you just going to give up?” 

“Of course not,” she mumbles, her breath hot on his neck. Joonhwi knows the law well, but he feels like this should be illegal. 

“But sometimes I wish I was just naturally smart like you.”

He lets out a soft sigh. Like many other things, the pair have talked about this before, and Joonhwi has never denied that he and many others have had a significant head start over Sol. But this is what he’d always tell her: 

“If everyone in this school had half as much of your wit, every crime in the world would have been solved by now.” 

To which she’d grimace and respond with, “Yeah, tell that to the F I got in Criminal Code.” 

But tonight was different. Sol wasn’t coming from a place of defeat, she was saying this out of frustration. She was probably thinking that maybe, had her life choices been different, she would have had it easier. That maybe, had she been as lucky in wealth and opportunities as everyone else, she wouldn’t need to work twice as hard as them. So that maybe, like Joonhwi, she could just comfortably sit in silence with him and enjoy his company. 

Right now, he’s treading murky waters and he’s afraid that one wrong move could give Sol the wrong idea. Joonhwi has never been the type to open up to people, but she never made it difficult for him to do so. With Sol, honesty was just the default. Telling her things he’d never entrust with anyone else came as easy as breathing. 

He takes her hand and gingerly intertwines it with his own. “I didn’t have it easy at the beginning either,” he admits. “Law school wasn’t even a part of my plan, and yet here I am.” 

This is at least one thing he knows Sol could empathize with. After being betrayed by the last person he’d ever expect to hurt him, Joonhwi’s life took a turn. To an extent, he was motivated by rage. But mostly, he was just trying to find a way to turn that pain into something useful, trying to make sure no one else has to go through what he did. And call him foolish for being too hopeful or optimistic, but he believes this is something he and Sol can do for each other. They’re two sides of the same coin: the law owes Sol an apology, and Joonhwi is coming to terms with the fact that he might never get one, ultimately being robbed of the opportunity after his uncle’s untimely death. 

Joonhwi knows his words bear significant weight to Sol. There’s a lot of things he wants to say to her but right now he just settles with, “I think you’re smart enough. If anything, you need to stop going overboard. What if you get sick again?”

She lifts her head and stares at him with doe eyes.

“That’s why I’m here.” He raises their interlocked fingers to show to her. “Why do you think I’m holding your hand? It’s so I can pull you out from under when you’re drowning in all of this.”

Sol slowly breaks out into an endearing smile, trying to repress her laughter but failing. “Heol. Han Joonhwi, since when were you so sentimental?”

Joonhwi doesn’t know where this newfound bravery came from, but he kisses Sol on the forehead lightly. “Since you needed it.” 

Sol blinks, her expression unreadable, and Joonhwi fears that he may have done the wrong thing. But much to his disbelief, she instead grabs him by the collar and closes the gap between her lips and his. They crash against one another in perfect rhythm, and Joonhwi mentally slaps himself for not doing this sooner. Never has he felt more at peace than at this very moment, which was ironic considering he was supposed to be the one doing the comforting. And yet, the lines blur when he realizes that even when their methods are vastly different, they’re at their best when they’re in tune with each other’s needs.

And right now, this is what he needs the most.

Much to Joonhwi’s dismay, Sol finally pulls away; they’re both out of breath. 

Still in a daze, he musters up the courage to ask such a stupid question. In fact, he’s surprised he could even speak at all. “What was that for?” 

“You’re not the only sentimental one here. If you’re going to kiss me, do it right.” 

That was when I knew, you were worlds more, than just a first kiss.

~

Send me your thoughts here!

#jtbc law school #law school #kang sol a #han joon hwi #solhwi #kim bum #ryu hye young #kang sol a x han joon hwi #fics #jtbc #kdrama #korean drama #mine #otp: why couldn't you be here sooner

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 19

Our Doll

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: Bucky confronts Steve. Feelings are shared (as well as girlfriends)

Warnings: swearing (I think), kissing, slight groping, angst, feelings you guys

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

A/n: this is the last chapter in the series! I am planning to write a sequel series, so stick around for that! Thank you guys soooo much for all the support in this series, I never expected it to get so much love, I love you 3000!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

"So Sharon isn't staying the night?" Bucky asked, quirking a brow. Steve jumped slightly, resting his hand over his heart as he turned to face his former best friend.

"Jesus, Buck. You scared me." Steve breathed, gaze hard. Bucky smirked, pushing himself off the wall where he leant beside Steve's door, arms folded tightly over his chest and ankles crossed.

"So, no sleepovers?" Bucky asked once again, sauntering slightly closer to Steve now. Steve's hands now laid flat at his sides, expression cold, indifferent, as he eyes Bucky as the former assassin moved closer.

"What's it to you?" Steve snapped, eyes following Bucky as he walked to the side of Steve.

"You hurt my girl. Just trying to find out why." Bucky shrugged, coming to a stop at Steve's door. "You wanna invite me in for a drink?" Bucky prompted, twitching his head towards the door. Steve sighed heavily, but opened the door and let Bucky in none the less.

Once inside, Bucky headed straight for Steve's little kitchenette, plopping himself down in one of the chairs that awaited neatly next to the small dining table. Steve wandered in too, grabbing a couple beers from his fridge before joining Bucky. He slid one of the cool bottles over to the Super soldier, the compensation leaving a wet trail across the wood.

"I'm guessing you want to talk to me about something?" Steve supplied, taking a swing of his beer. Bucky nodded, not touching his as he leant forward in his chair.

"I know you still love y/n." Bucky confessed, poker face not giving away a single emotion. Steve breathed in deeply, flitting his gaze away momentarily.

"I do." He said simply, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms across his sturdy chest. "And I'll wait for her, however long it takes."

"Why do you think she'll ever leave me? Especially after seeing you move on so quickly." Bucky scoffed, shaking his head.

"Because she loves me." Steve kept his sentences simple.

"And she also loves me, and seeing as I'm not the one whoring off with some blonde against I meant whilst she was being tortured...I'd like to say my chances are high." Bucky quipped with a tight smile.

A shuffle outside had both men looking up, towards Steve's door. They could both tell y/n was standing there, listening to them. But they both seemed to ignore it for now, continuing their heated discussion.

"And yet you're the route of so much of her pain." Steve mused with a small smile. Bucky's eyes rolled, a humourless laugh falling from his lips.

"I know she loves you, but I also know that she trusts me more. So whatever you think is gonna happen, it's not." Bucky claimed, pushing back from the table and standing from his chair. He walked slowly over the the door, hand wrapping firmly around the handle before he was pulling it open. "Come on in, doll."

Y/n froze, stood in the door way to Steve's rock with an expression of guilt written over her. Steve's gaze met her's, his hand still wrapped around his beer bottom as it sat idly on the table. Y/n walked in nervously, hands fidgeting. Bucky closed the door behind her, resting against the wall beside it with his arms over his chest and his ankles crossed as he watched the scene unfold.

"I'm sorry." She said weakly, but Steve waved her off.

"S'fine, sweetheart. I wanted to talk to you anyway." He dismissed, gaze not meeting her's.

"You did?" She asked incredulously, eyes narrowed.

"I did." Steve confirmed, standing up and carefully walking around the table, towards her.

Y/n instinctively took a tiny step back without realising, making guilt sink to her stomach. He wouldn't hurt her, would he?

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry." Steve mumbled slowly as he stood in front of her. Y/n nodded, processing what he was saying. "I shouldn't have flaunted Sharon in front of you like that, it was unfair and cruel."

"It's fine, Steve, I have Bucky now-" y/n tried to reason with him.

"But it's not fine! I hurt you, intentionally. And it feels awful." Steve raised his voice, a tear threatening his waterline. "And it's worse because I still love you. And I don't think I'll ever stop loving you." He admitted, turning around, unable to face her.

"Steve.." y/n murmured, completely frozen in place as she stared at his broad back.

"And now I want you back!" He all but shouted, spinning to face her, a mixture of what seemed to be hurt, longing and guilt written over his face like a poem. "I caused you pain that you didn't-" he paused, running a hand over his face, a deep sigh leaving him, "I caused you pain that you didn't deserve, y/n."

"Steve it's fi-" y/n tried again, even though she was still mad she had Bucky now.

"Please, just, tell me why the fuck it hurts so bad?" He basically whined, eyes clouded with tears as his voice dropped to a whisper.

"But I broke you first.." y/n hummed quietly, eyes downcast in shame. Her face was lifted, his hands cupping her cheeks and his eyes searching her own now.

"But you didn't." Steve sighed, shaking his head. Y/n frowned, brows pulled together with confusion.

"B-but I kissed Bucky-"

"And I got over it. I was stupid, I didn't listen to you- god, I didn't even consider it." He confessed, angry at himself now. "And then I basically did the same to you, after knowing just how much it fucking hurts." He whispered, tears streaking his face as he broke down before her.

"Steve..."

"And it's my fault! It's my fucking fault!" He said louder now, face reddening as he spoke. "All I feel is guilt! Burning, eating, clawing guilt!" Steve exclaimed, pushing away from y/n and walking across the room. "Is this how you felt after kissing Bucky?" Steve mumbled, closed fist resting against the wall.

"Yes, but-"

"Fuck!" Steve shouted, slamming his fist against the wall, the shattering of a fallen picture frame making y/n flinch with a wince. The sound caught his attention, Steve's face softening considerably as he took long and fast strides towards her. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay, Steve." The girl assured, grabbing his hands in hers and smoothing her thumbs over the backs of his hands, trying to calm the super soldier in front of her. "I'm fine. You're fine." Y/n whispered, letting go of his hands and tangling her fingers onto his hair as his head dropped forward onto her shoulder. "It's okay." She murmured against his ear, y/n's heart saddening as she felt Steve's frame shake against her with every sob.

Y/n dared to glance at Bucky over Steve's shoulder, the super soldier leant awkwardly against the wall as if he hadn't been there the entire time, watching, waiting. Finally, he pushed away from the wall, coming closer towards them. His flesh hand resting against the small of Steve's back, warm and comforting as he rubbed small circles.

"It's okay, Stevie, we forgive you." He mumbled into Steve's hair, placing a kiss to the top of Steve's head. All that could be heard for a moment were his sobs, Bucky's arms wrapping around Steve's shoulders as he rested his head on top of Steve's.

"I love you, Steve." Y/n mumbled, turning her head to place a small his on his neck. Steve sniffed, murmuring something that was incoherent against her shoulder.

"I love you too, punk." Bucky whispered against Steve's blonde locks, making both of the avengers before his raise their heads and look at him. Bucky smiled wide, tears pricking his own eyes now as he stared into Steve's eyes. "I love you."

"As a friend?" Steve asked with a  furrowed brow. Bucky shook his head. "As- as more?" Bucky nodded his head this time, a relived laugh leaving his lips as Steve smiled.

Before y/n could even being to comprehend what just happened, Steve was crashing his lips to Bucky's in a searing, desperate kiss that seemed to say much more than words could. His hands tangled into Bucky's luscious locks, giving a firm tug that enticed Bucky to groan into his mouth. The assassin's hands were clawing at Steve's shoulders hungrily as he moaned against Steve's mouth.

Y/n just watched. She watched as they painted and groaned, trying to touch everywhere they could as they made out. For a moment, she considered leaving, feeling as though they wanted her gone now they'd finally expressed how they felt. But as she went to move a cool, rough hand wrapped around her wrist, spinning y/n into Bucky's chest as his lips pressed to hers. Hard.

She moaned against him as Steve's lips danced over her neck, his body pressed into her back as his hands found purchase on her hips. Bucky's hands grasped her ass, one staying there as the other one travelled higher, wrapping around her throat and pulling y/n closer into him as he pulled away. Our breath mingled with hers as she panted, trying to get her breath back.

"Be our doll." Steve murmured against her cheek, hands squeezing her hips.

#smut #image #images #marvel #marvel smut #steve rogers #bucky x steve #steve rogers image #steve rogers x reader #steve x bucky #steve roger fanfic #steve rogers smut #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #winter soldier smut #winter soldier #winter solider fanfiction #captain america smut #captain america fanfiction #captain america #chris evans #chris evans smut #seb stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan #marvel fanfic #avengers smut

[tamorapierce]

Tammy's Spring 2020 Reading Recommendations For the Bored

Sooner or later the bookhounds among us are going to start joining my relentless song, from age five on up, of “I don’t have anything to read!!!!”

 I am here to help.  In this space, as I get to it (knowing, as my readers do, that I have no sense of deadline), I will be posting a constant set of collections of book titles by authors my team and I have read and will recommend in a wild variety of genres and for a wild variety of ages.  (And I’ll give a short hint as to the subject of the first book/series—if I did them all I’d never finish this.)  This last is for the many of you who are reading teen and adult books in grade and middle school, and those adult readers who are reading teen and kidlit. These people are for those who love books and don’t care who is supposed to be reading them.  

 Also, you may have to look far and wee, since we will be drawing upon not only recently published books but older ones that we have either read recently or that we read long ago and have re-read or have never forgotten.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the writing is archaic.  If you’re a true nutsy reader like the rest of us, you won’t care.

 -Tammy Pierce

                                                        *     *     *

Assume the book came out within the last 2 years unless I put LO next to the title, which means you have to check libraries and bookstores online and paper for copies.

 *     *     *

 Diana Wynne Jones  LO

A generation or two of fantasy writers, particularly those who love humor, bow to this woman as our goddess.  Not only was she out of her mind in a very British and manic way, but with her TOUGH GUIDE TO FANTASYLAND she taught a number of us to ditch some ill-considered tropes of our genre.  If you write historic fantasy in particular, move heaven and earth to track this book down.  There’s a bonus: some of the entries will make you laugh till you cry.

           She is best known for her books for middle grade and teens, but they are enjoyable for all readers.  I cannot list them all here because my fingers will break (curse you, arthritis!), but these titles will give you a jumping-off point.  And remember, authors change with each book, so you won’t encounter the same author with each title as the author you read in the previous one!

           The Chrestomanci books, all in the same universe, in order of story,

                       not publication

Charmed Life  (1977) An innocent lad follows his plotting egotistical sister to live with England’s chief wizard

The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988)

Conrad’s Fate (2005)

Witch Week (1982)

The Magicians of Caprona (1980)

Short stories

 The Dalemark Quartet begins with

The Spellcoats (1979)

3 sequels

 The Derkholm books are

Dark Lord of  (1998)

Year of the Griffin (2000)

  The Tough Guide to Fantasyland is standalone, but is a kind of offshoot of the Derkholm books.  You don’t have to have read the Derkholm books to get Tough Guide!

 There are other books and stories by Jones—I’ll let you find them on your own.

  Philip Pullman

To this day I am unable to call him anything but Mr. Pullman—that’s how much in awe of the man I am.  We’ve had dinner together, talked on the phone, talked at an event or two, done a conversation on audio with Christopher Paolini—it’s still Mr. Pullman to me.  (I was an assistant in a literary agency when I discovered his work, and I never recovered.) He is, in a word, brilliant, and his interests range through all kinds of areas, particularly history and religion.  I could have talked with him forever that night we had dinner, but the poor man had jet lag and I let him go to collapse.  It was one of the best exchanges of ideals, values, and books I’ve ever had.  

Read his work carefully, because what he discusses is never just the story on top.  No matter what he writes, he is making strong points about social justice, human nature, religion, and history without preaching.  He is one of the few male writers out there who can write female characters as people, not Something Different.  And you never know, with his work, where he will go next.

 The Ruby in the Smoke,

book 1,  the Sally Lockheart mysteries

Victorian mysteries with a female hero and male assistants,

           The Book of Dust and sequel,

first 2 books of The Secret Commonwealth

           His Dark Materials trilogy

                       The Golden Compass

                       2 other titles                

           THE COLLECTORS

           LYRA’S OXFORD

           THE WHITE MERCEDES

           FAIRY TALES FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM

           I WAS A RAT!

           TWO CRAFTY CRIMINALS

           COUNT KARLSTEIN

           (I will stop here and let you find the rest. Most are available as Nook books.)

  Sharon Shinn

I discovered Sharon Shinn with JOVAH’S ANGEL, but a shortage of funds left me unable to pursue my interest (I am an economic disaster with libraries, so I buy rather than borrow) until, with a job and money to spend, I spotted THE SAFE-KEEPER’S SECRET.  It is the story of a medieval-ish world and a small village where a baby was left with a childless couple.  She is raised as their daughter and discovers, as she grows, that her mother is an important, a Safekeeper, the person to whom a secret can be told, relieving the person who told it of the weight of guilt from it, to be carried by the Safekeeper until the owner either decides to tell or dies.  (And if they die without giving permission, the Safekeeper never reveal the secret.)  The baby who is adopted by this town’s safekeeper becomes the safekeeper in her turn.

           The next book is THE TRUTHTELLER’S TALE, about a girl who acquires the gift (??) of telling the truth, whether the person she tells it to wants to hear it or not. The third book is The Dream-maker’s Magic.  The three main characters now learn why they have been brought together over the course of the two earlier books, in what I thought was a satisfying, if unusual, conclusion.

           And there’s more!  I just did the two I love best!

             THE SAFEKEEPER’S SECRET (book 1, two sequels)

           ARCHANGEL (4 books)

           TWELVE HOUSES (5 books)

           ELEMENTAL BLESSINGS (4 books)        

SHIFTING CIRCLE (2 books)

           UNCOMMON ECHOES

           GENERAL WINSTON’S DAUGHTER

           GATEWAY

 Daniel Jose Older

 I was a Daniel Jose Older fan before I was sent DACTYL HILL SQUAD for a blurb (preodactyls in flight!  Of all sizes!  Confederate spies!  Thuggish bigot northerners!  The backlash of Gettysburg and the forced recruitment of blacks for the war effort! And strong, smart, fierce kids of various ages, sizes, colors, national heritage, and skills doing their best to help the war against the slaves, keep escaped slaves safe, duck the cruel managers of the homes and jails where they are being kept, find a half-decent meal, free other kids in trouble, learn who’s killing their friends, and help the dactyls!  That’s part of it, anyway!

Yeah, I loved it.  And there’s at least one new book, and once I’ve mowed though that, there are his older teen books, and his grownup mysteries, with their half-dead taxi driver who doubles as a part-time troubleshooter for the undead powers in his Bone Street Rhumba series.  {happy sigh}

  Edgar Allen Poe

Yes, some of these are reminders of why we ended up to be the readers we are and to nudge us to corrupt—I mean, “introduce”—­new readers to the glories that are our legacies.

­

THE COMPLETE TALES AND POEMS OF EDGAR ALLEN POE

           Here are the greats:

poems like “The Raven,” and “Annabelle Lee”

stories like “The Fall of the House of Usher,” “The Telltale Heart,�� and  ::shudder:: “The Pit and the Pendulum” (yes, a deep pit and a swinging pendulum topped with a razor-edged blade will be featured in this story).  

My dad would read these to us on dark and stormy nights when we lived near the Pacific ocean, when the fog came rolling in, softening every sound, when there were no cars driving by and no other sounds in our house but his deep voice and the crackle of the fire in the fireplace.  We would listen, soundless, as he wove the stories and poems around us and the foghorn sounded offshore.

           That’s the power of Poe.

  N. K. Jemisin

I think I began with Jemisin’s THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS, soon followed by its sequel THE BROKEN KINGDOMS.  The series ended with a third book, THE KINGDOM OF THE GODS.  She presented a rich and varied world from the aspects of people of different classes, showing the growth of societies and their formation.  I have a secret passion for society-building and social interaction, and whether or not a book is difficult to read (as Jemisin’s books are in spots because she refuses to insult a reader by talking down to them) is immaterial.  I want the world and I want the characters, and with her far-reaching mind and her respect for her characters she delivers each and every time.  I have read almost everything she’s written since that first trilogy: if I’ve missed something, it’s because I was in the middle of a deadline and on the road and somehow didn’t see it.  I’ll catch up!  This is just a sample:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

 The City They Became (pub’d April 2020)

 The Inheritance Trilogy:

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

           2 book sequels

Novella: The Awakened Kingdom, 2014

                       Triptych: Shades in Shadow, 2015 (3 short stories) 

             The Dreamblood Duology:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

                       Two sequels

 The Broken Earth series:

         The Fifth Season (August 2015)

                       Two book sequels

And there are plenty of short stories out there.  I may even have missed a book or twelve!

For those who prefer to hear my ramble in person, a video!

#tamora pierce #tortall #book reccs #book recommendations #YA #fantasy #science fiction #diana wynne jones #edgar allen poe #philip pullman #sharon shinn #daniel jose older #nk jemisin

[convenientalias]

A choice from four NiF things! (I’m very bad at deciding, so I delegate the decision to you :3)

Birth of a year: ✄★

The one I love has a mole on his neck: ♡ ☠

I like rambling about my writing so I'm just gonna do all four lols.

Birth of a year is my NIF fic about various characters celebrating New Year's and Yan Que telling Yujin about his gunpowder plot.

✄ Something I deleted before the final draft--I was gonna answer all of them, that is to say, but it's been two years and I don't remember if I cut anything anymore. Sorry!

★ Something I'm proud to have accomplished--It was fun to write a piece that's partly just a slice of life looking at where all the characters are at at this point in the show, and what their household/family relationships are like. But also I'm just glad I filled in the gap of that Yujin and Yan Que conversation bc I personally just wanted to be a fly on that wall.

The one I love has a mole on his neck is my NIF fic where Prince Yu had a huge crush on his cousin Lin Shu pre-canon and now he is telling Mei Changsu about it.

♡ My favorite part-- Okay the thing is I actually really like this fic in general! It has soft, past Jinghuan! It has stupid oblivious present Jinghuan! It has both of them crushing on various iterations of MCS! Of all the NIF fics I've written, this is still one of my faves. But (apart from the sequence I quote in the summary) perhaps my favorite part of it is when Prince Yu in the present recites to Mei Changsu the poem he wrote for Lin Shu in the past, that Lin Shu never received due to circumstances.

Su Zhe’s hand had gone reflexively to his own neck, where it fingered the cloth of his collar. “It is really not that bad.” He sounded surprised. “Though… very forward.”

People in the comments of the fic had a lot to say about the poem Prince Yu wrote, mostly but not all about how fucking bad it is. Some people pointed out things I hadn't considered, like the fact that Prince Yu's poem says he wants Lin Shu to use him, and in the present, here MCS is, ruthlessly using Prince Yu for his own purposes. But what I don't think anyone picked up on is that I meant to imply that MCS actually doesn't dislike the poem, even though the poem is completely awful. Because Jinghuan of the past was right--Lin Shu loves sappy love poetry and values sincerity and vulnerability. For MCS, hearing such a sincere declaration from Prince Yu is a rare thing, and it takes him aback. Of course then we go right back to past shenanigans and disasters, but. Anyway I just like the thought of Jinghuan's poem reaching its intended recipient, even if it's a little late.

☠ Something I found challenging-- Deciding where to stop. This fic was an exchange fic, and the recipient had a couple different prompts that I loved. Part of me wanted to combine this story with another prompt they had about MCS and Prince Yu getting together in an AU where Prince Yu gave up his ambitions and instead just became MCS's sugar daddy and he and MCS just kind of chilled out together in MCS's remaining time. I was considering writing a second part of this fic where MCS talks Prince Yu out of his ambitions or is merciful towards him after he's been defeated out of consideration for Prince Yu's good intentions towards Jingyan. And then eventually there would be an identity reveal and Prince Yu's crush of the past would fuse with his crush of the present and MCS would have to confront his own complicated feelings...

Anyway I didn't have time for any of that before the deadline! Also I ended up deciding that the story worked better as it is, focusing on one incident of the past and one conversation in the present rather than a grand AU. This way it can be funny and kind of bittersweet rather than plotty.

...but sometimes I still think about writing a sequel.

This has been a lot of self-centered rambling but that fic really was dear to my heart. I just love Prince Yu <3 he deserves good things. He deserved to hook up with Lin Shu, damn it! Down with interfering Grand Princesses! Down with Jingyan!

Lols, thanks for the ask!

[maggiecheungs]

2020 ~everything~ wrap

i finally have time to do all of the tag games that people have tagged me in over the past month or so! i cannot for the life of me remember who tagged me in which one, so i’m just putting ~everything~ in one huge post. if i tag you anywhere then consider it a standing invitation to do whichever of these you haven’t done :) in fact, this is me issuing a standing invite to any of my followers who wants to do it :) also, thank you all!

Creator Wrap: Favourite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

this collection of philosophy quotes paired with thai bl series, (and its sequel) which is possibly my favourite thing i’ve ever made. for, uh, nerd reasons.

these gifted text post memes i made still make me laugh sometimes

this fic about green from 2gether, which i wrote in the notes app on my phone and published the same day. not my absolute best writing but i am very fond of it <3

i have a bunch fof friend zone dangerous area edits/shitposts which i like, but i’m particularly fond of my fzda as satire headlines (which now has a sequel!)

i also love my crisgood-walmart-lesbian post. i might send it in to gmmtv to try and convince them to do a crisgood-bffs spin-off

+ bonus: since i wrote this list i made this gifset (my first ever!) of jennie panhan in the shipper and i love her too much not to include her on here

+ extra nerdy bonus: this niche meme about Chinese philosophy, which still makes me crack up whenever I think about it

Favourite Creators/Follow Forever

i’ve completely lost track of who’s following who from which blog, so this is just going to be a haphazard, non-exhaustive list of people who i adore/admire/am vaguely intimidated by, mutuality be damned. maybe we talk all the time! maybe we’ve never interacted! maybe i am constantly there in ur tags... lurking... 👀... but if you’re on this list you have made me smile at least once this year and i love you for that alone <3

@wjmild kylie!! you make gifs of arm & tay & lee (separately or in various combinations) & the shipper & and kapook & random fluke pusit cameos & school rangers so i don’t have to <3 ilysm

@janeramida vianey, you have such impeccable taste in general, but your sizzy gifset in particular is so gorgeous it lives in my mind rent free

@applelapis bri, this post was a callout and i want you to know that it haunts me at night as i lie awake staring at the ceiling :((((( i hope you are happy

@gigiesarocha cata, i love it when you show up on my dash bc you have!! such taste!! also, every time you gif gigie i gain five years of life <3 pls continue doing the Good Work

@pvrrish​ eleni, i remeber legit thinking that this was an official poster when i first saw it, it’s so beautiful

@ahysopae​ juliette your khaithird fic is so good and it literally changed the way i think about khai (not an easy feat)

@kurosawadachi angel, whenever i think about grace’s speech i remember your gifset and get literal chills

@doctorbahnjit alexa, you have no right to be as funny as you are. your friend zone edits give me life

@khaotungthanawat sam, you’re probably sick of getting tagged in these lists by random strangers, but i just had to bc your gifsets are Pure Art

@tanwirapong roa, all your gifsets are so ✨iconic✨

faiza @asianmelodrama and rahul @petekaos! yours were the first two thai drama blogs i followed and for ages i lowkey thought of you as my fandom parents.

and some more blogs that make me happy: @curlykytta / @lee-thanat  / @fck-inspector-m / @pangwave / @tichawongtipkanon / @tawanv @kimmonv (violet istg i have spent more time this year trying to figure out how many blogs you have than i have spent admiring your gifsets. & i spend a lot of time admiring your gifsets) / @taytawan / @1akorn and @yihwas (and your radiant lovechild @lakornladies ofc) / @teh-ohaew / @vihokratanas (mel your gifsets are just so gorgeous) / @tootiredtoosadtooangry / @headcompletelyempty / @demiromanticmickey​ / and there are definitely more but my brain is a sieve so apologies if i’ve forgotten anyone!! i love you all!! 

2020 HIGHLIGHTS ✨

rules: list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

1. 2GETHER & STILL2GETHER

my first thai drama, and even after all the amazing shows i’ve watched this year, it still has a special place in my heart. watching 2gether was the first time i’d ever seen a queer romcom that just... was. for me, by the simple fact of its being, 2gether was revolutionary. and then still2gether came along and took all the best things about the first season and gave us something beautiful and quiet and lovely and just proved to me, once and for all, that queer happiness doesn’t need to justify its own existence. there can be gay cuddles on the beach for no other reason than that we want them. 

2. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

i don’t really have the words for this one but. it makes my heart so very soft.

3. FRIEND ZONE 2: DANGEROUS AREA

season one was mindless fun because everyone was an absolute trashfire and it was hella cathartic to watch, but season 2... wow. i love it for so many reasons: it has messy and authentic queer rep; the characterisation is excellent and i somehow care about all of the characters; amazing women taking centre stage(!); a wlw relationship with lesbian, ace and bipolar rep; multiple interesting plotlines; actual character development; arm weerayut as a chaos gremlin... absolutely one of my favourites of 2020.

4. CHERRY MAGIC

i don’t think i need to explain this one, which is fortunate, because i have no idea how exactly i’d describe the happy-warm-fuzzy-queer-seen-loving-affirmed-profound feeling that rises in my chest whenever i think about it. 

5. THE GIFTED: GRADUATION

confession: i liked season 2 more than season 1 (with the exception of the ending, which we don’t talk about). season 1 was enjoyable and interesting, but for me it was season 2 which made me love this series. it did some incredibly interesting and complicated things (even if it didn’t quite nail the landing): it pushed characters to the breaking point and wove so many layers into the story and questioned its own underlying themes. plus, watching it alongside everyone in the fandom made it 200% better. i love all of you and i love this show. egg girl 5eva.

6. THE SHIPPER

i 100% understand why so many people didn’t like this show, or found it problematic, but through some fluke it absolutely worked for me (even the ending). one day i will write an essay explaining my rationale, but for now i’ll just say that it’s one of my favourite shows about adolescence and queerness and identity and compassion and friendship and love that i’ve ever watched. 

7. YYY

this series is absolutely off its rocker, and it somehow managed to be one of the most affirming shows i’ve watched. it shouldn’t have worked by it did, and i love it so much.

8. 3 WILL BE FREE

absolutely iconic. amazing plot, stunning visuals, great characters, canon polyamory, jennie being incredible... what a series.

9. MANNER OF DEATH

i love the fact that this show exists; i love the mix of crime and romance; i love maxtul’s acting; i love the central relationship; i love bun. i know we’re not even halfway through yet, but this show is doing something special and i’m so grateful that i get to watch it unfold in real time. 

10. CHIHAYAFURU (SEASON 3)

odd one out on my list, but I had to include it. chihayafuru is my all-time favourite anime and it finally got a third season, which is somehow even better than the first two. mashima taichi is one of my favourite characters of all time and his storyline hits me on such a profound level. plus, in the years since i first say this show i’ve fallen in love with classical japanese literature (particularly heian poetry) so i had newfound appreciation for the karuta matches (aka i cried every time someone recited one of my favourite poems)

other favourites: together with me, he’s coming to me, sotus and sotus s, my dear loser: edge of 17, why r u, theory of love, wake up chanee!, gameboys, pearl next door, uta koi (anime), three kingdoms (2010), blood and water (netflix). (itsay would almost certainly be on my list if i’d had time to watch it. same with dark blue kiss, which i had to pause so i could do my assignments)

Final Thoughts

well, it’s been... a year (i don’t think anyone needs a reminder of the details) but writing this post has reminded me of all the amazing shows and people I discovered over the course of it.

thank you to everyone for being so lovely and creative and funny and quirky and kind and passionate. you’re all incredibly awesome people and i wish all of you the very best xx

#tag game #I think I was first tagged in one of these like three weeks ago? but I’ve been super busy #happy new year everyone #ellis talks #also I tried to keep this as short as possible bc otherwise I could have gushed for hours about you all #and this post is long enough already #but if any of you are in a low mood or want the unabridged version of my praise then message me & I’ll compliment you profusely to your face #:)

[im-the-punk-who]

Hey, I was wondering if you have a book rec

!!

Okay so in full disclosure, I have a really hard time reading books. My brain sometime around six years ago just decided that wasn't its style anymore, so I don't read a TON. A lot of these aren’t going to be recent releases. However, here are a bunch of books I would absolutely recommend checking out! I tried to include a variety of genres but I have uh.....five bookshelves in my apartment so if you're looking for more of a certain genre let me know!

Theatre:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett

These are my two favorite plays - they're both absurdist, humorous, and have some fun things to say. They’re both by old white guys but like....I love both Tom Stoppard and Samuel Beckett DEEPLY and they have all of my love and respect.

Non-Fiction/Educational:

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum - this is considered a 'classic' on the psychology of racism, and was particularly helpful for me as a white person in arming myself against 'reverse racism' thoughts and in dissembling my own prejudices. This is mostly a rec for other white folks, but Tatum also addresses 'having the courage to sit at the black table' as a way of claiming your own identity outside of the stereotypes the dominant society expects of you.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - Okay listen I just really REALLY love Brene Brown, she is a therapist most famous for her TED talk about Vulnerability and this is just...listen I really like to read this book when I am sad and feel like shit because it makes me feel strong. I reread this book at least once a year.

Imagined Communities by Benendict Anderson - This is an absolutely fascinating read on the rise of nationalism. It’s a bit dry and wordy, but the ideas and use of history as propaganda, spinning the story of a nation to pit it against or on the same side as other nations, and the ways in which these tactics shaped cultural history is just!!!! Amazing.

Gay New York by George Chauncey - This is just one of the most informative and interesting reads of queer history in New York that I’ve ever come across. It’s one of the ‘must reads’ of queer history and has so many interesting tidbits that I have to recommend it. It’s a bit old(published in 1994) but I still find it relevant and interesting to read.

Personal Fiction/Autobiographical Fiction

White Girls by Hilton Als - I went to a reading of this book when it first came out. It was so much fun and so eye-opening for me as a baby queer in NYC that I bought the book there. I wanna be really clear that Als does not pull punches and a lot of people don’t quite like it, but I love Als’ style of writing. The stories and essays in this book are amazing and funny and heartbreaking and informative of queer experience - particularly black queer experience - that I always feel like...honored? to experience through writing? This is one of those ‘you’re gonna suffer but you’re gonna be happy about it’ reads - it can be hard to face because of how very hard the pills are to swallow but like....gosh I just love this book and it’s interesting and hilarious and great.

Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins  - this is my tin hat favorite. It hits....ugh. This is one of those books that came out and like every government agency freaked the fuck out over it. It’s an interesting look into the quote-unquote dark underbelly of capitalism; how and why countries manipulate each other through economic policies. Super interesting read with a nice style of prose.

The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs Okay so full disclosure I have not finished reading this, but I’m far enough through to rec it. This book chronicles the author’s attempt to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica from front to back, and it is just as kooky and hilarious as it sounds. I am very incredibly and deeply offended this author stole both my schtick and my initials, thereby preventing me from doing this exact thing. I read through the phone book in its entirety when I was three. I had it in me. Anyway, this is basically the author just listing weird interesting facts he’s read about and connecting them to his daily life, but it’s a fun read, and you learn a lot of totally useless facts, which is absolutely my jam.

When Skatboards Will Be Free by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh - HI I LOVE THIS BOOK. I’ve read it maybe three times over. It’s so fun and interesting. You may notice that a lot of the books I rec are very absurdist in their humor, and this is no exception. This book is full of the dry wit and just weird goddamn shit you could only expect from the child of a revolution that never came. You want to read a book about someone who Went Through Shit? Read this book. It’s funny and heartbreaking and just. AHHHH. Seriously I cannot recommend this enough.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosch - FIGHT ME ON THIS. I love this book.....so much. Yes it’s technically a comic book but the stories are so INTERESTING and hilarious and full of exactly the dry absurdist humor I eat the fuck up. Also! Allie Brosch recently released a sequel of sorts called Solutions and Other Problems that I recommend without even reading it.

Poetry

Pansy by Andrea Gibson - IF YOU ARE NOT READING THE POETRY OF ANDREA GIBSON WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. I cried seven times reading this book. There are only like 14 poems. Please please read this to break your own queer heart :)

Bloodsport by Yves Olade - This is a tiny book full of absolutely devastating poetry. Most of it has to do with the grief of relationships, but like....gosh I love all of Olade’s stuff. (Also!! This is available as a pay-what-you-wish pdf!!)

Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón - This book focuses a lot on the author’s experiences of loss, and knowing that loss is going to happen. I’m completely devastated every time I read this.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

The Bartimeaus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud - So what if I am a dumb millennial I love this series. It’s another dry and deadpan humor, with weird additions and Stroud’s use of footnotes to absolutely crack me the fuck up means I gotta rec this. I just gotta. Four(I think?) books following the deeply unlikeable Nathaniel and his Djinn Bartimaeus, who just wants to eat humans and have a deeply enjoyable enemies to lovers plotline with his arch rival.

The Magic's Price Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - Okay I know I’ve recced this before. I will rec it again. This was the very first series I ever read that featured a gay protagonist and I was. Devastated? Reformed? I latched onto Vanyel Ashkevron and I am never letting this depressed emo boy go. Try me, I bite. Seriously, this book was released in the 80s and yet it is still relevant, I still cry - god i LOVE this series SO MUCH. And, MERCEDES LACKEY actually invented unbury your gays, sorry I make the rule on that one. :) Also there are magic talking horses??????? Seriously please read this series I love it so much.

Fire Bringer & The Sight by David Clement-Davies - This is another series that was absolutely formative in my baby lexicon. These are books about magical animals and their inner societal workings and both books address the ideas of good, evil, darkness, compassion and good will, and destiny. I am obsessed with these books, they are some of the most interesting of the genre I’ve read, and so incredibly intricately written. LOVE these books.

Vampire Earth Series by E. E. Knight - The Witcher before it was cool. Sort of but like...there are schools of Cat, Bear, etc and it has COOL VAMPIRES I LOVE THSI SERIES. Basically, earth has been taken over by a race of alien ‘Vampires’ and follows a human involved in the resistance. The writing in this series is...wow. It’s so intricate and interesting and involved. I own the whole series because I love it so much, including the after-series hardback novels. I’m so messy and I love it.

Kindred by Octavia Butler - You know how people are like ‘YOU SHOULD READ OCTAVIA BUTLER!!’ ? You should absolutely do that. This novel is mindblowing and interesting and the pace and narrative are so so so interesting. Heartbreaking, god, horrific. Butler is an amazing writer and this novel, while my personal favorite, is not by any means the only of her books I would recommend. STORIES. STORIES!!!!!!!

Fiction

The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel: A Novel by Magdalena Zyzak - This book is so fucking good. It’s imaginative, funny, intelligent....it’s honestly one of the best fiction novels I’ve ever read. Again, dry, absurdist humor, this book sort of reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s style of writing.

The Call of the Wild by Jack London - This is a classic, a true classic. The social commentary of this book is so so good, London’s style flows and, personally, as a dog and animal expert, the anthropomorphisation of Buck and his fellow animals is just so well done. I love this book, it’s quite an easy read, and I reread it at least once a year.

Rolling the R's by R. Zamora Linmark - Okay. Okay okay!!!!!! I gotta take a deep breath about this one. This book is. Yuh. This is a bit younger leaning than the other fictions, focusing almost entirely on high school level characters, however the experiences and commentary is just so so good. Focusing on a diverse group of characters growing up in Hawaii in the 1970′s, this book addresses the intersectionalities of gender, sexuality, race, immigration, education, and how we define who we are. I’m obsessed.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles - A heartbreaking novel about war, innocence, adolescence, and how we hide from our truths. It’s...so good, this book hurts me a LOT okay. The prose is phenomenal, the story is poignant, and it feels like I’m ripping my own heart out with a fishhook every time I finish it.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan - This is one of those books I half recommend because it’s so good, and half because of the deep wealth of knowledge it presents the reader. The author’s use of her own culture is just....goddddddddd. Intricate and interesting and so delicately included in the narrative that you can feel the love the author has for it. It’s a long read and it took me almost a month to get through reading every day, but god. It’s so soft and amazingly written I both wanted to read it all at once and take my time with it. This is another one that deals with the duality of humanity and how we connect with one another. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

P.S. Your Cat Is Dead by James Kirkwood Jr. - I love this book I love this book I LOVE THIS BOOK. It’s fucking hilarious, entertaining, I literally laughed out loud at every single chapter. Hilarious and poignant and surprisingly deep, this book literally follows the journey of a man in which literally everything that could go wrong does. It’s fucking hilarious.

I hope that helped and gave you some new books!!! <3

#long post #book recs #milo writes

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I want to write an original story with a similar basic premise to Animorphs (kids use alien technology to fight a secret guerrilla war against other invading alien species and are subsequently severely traumatized), but I'm not sure how clearly distinct from Animorphs I need to make it to be legally okay. The plot's pretty different asides from that and none of the characters are really similar, but I'm not sure if it's still too close. Any advice?

Yes!  All advice comes with the whopping caveat that I’ve never published a novel myself, but I can make recommendations.

Step 1: Write the dang thing!

I feel like we writers worry too much, too often, and especially too early about copyright issues.  I’ve had friends fret over the possibility of mentioning Disney in novels that they haven’t so much as outlined; my usual response is to hand them a copy of Percy Jackson with the 30,000 mentions of Diet Coke flagged, or to highlight the words “PlayStation” and “Sellotape” in the Harry Potter series.  Heck, Animorphs itself takes potshots at Nickelodeon and Planet Hollywood.  Worrying about copyright early on in the writing process is useless to the extent that it’s almost impossible to predict what copyright issues the final product will or won’t have.  I successfully published a poem trashing Dole fruit company in an anthology, only to have the whole anthology pulled because its inside cover accidentally (incorrectly) implied that it was published through our university’s press.

Trust me, I get why this problem draws the mind — it assumes a reality where my novel is finished, an agent accepts it, a publisher puts it out, and it sells enough copies for senpai to notice me.  But if you’re not talking to a publisher about this issue over your sixth or seventh draft of your polished manuscript, you’re borrowing tsuris.  Maybe by the time you’re done writing your novel, the resemblance to Animorphs will be less than passing.  Maybe you’ll run into a completely different set of copyright issues.  Point being: cross that bridge when you come to it.  Even better, let your publisher cross it for you.  That’s part of why they’re there.

Step 2: Draw out what makes your story unique, and avoid what makes K.A. Applegate’s story unique.

If you’re writing about mind-controlling aliens, that’s fine!  Those date back to at least Robert A. Heinlein, and arguably as early as humanity itself has had a concept of possession by spirits.  If you’re writing about shapeshifting kids, also fine!  Those definitely date back to the dawn of human culture, and can be found in the religions of every continent.  If you’re writing about trauma, fine.  I think you’re okay to borrow almost all of the broad strokes of Animorphs.

Things that wouldn’t be okay to borrow:

Specific descriptions of specific aliens.  If you have any vulcan-like beings in this universe, don’t make them four-eyed four-legged scorpion-tailed blue people.  Same goes for all the unique species and creatures.

The exact words KAA uses to write the scenes.  Hopefully you learned this already in middle school, but you have to do a hell of a lot more than rewording a quote to avoid plagiarism.  Don’t even paraphrase any passage from an Animorphs book, ever.  Write your own stuff.

Exact plots.  If you’re having your child shapeshifters chased by a sentient tornado that senses their shapeshifting energy while they all drive around continuously shapeshifting to play keep-away with said tornado, then that’s copying KAA’s homework even if you never use the words “yeerk” or “veleek.”

Exact characters.  This one’s nebulous, but try to avoid having your first narrator be a thirteen-year-old boy who enjoys basketball but was cut from the team, whose older brother is mind-controlled by an alien, whose friends all describe him as middle-aged before his time, and whose girlfriend is an animal-loving assistant vet.  You can write a Jake-like character if you change anything from his sport of choice to his ethnicity — and then ask yourself how that difference would change his outlook or upbringing.

Macguffins.  This is similar to the specific aliens: however your protagonists gain the ability to shapeshift, don’t make it a blue box.

Step 3: TELL NO ONE.

If I had to guess, at least one author has already done exactly what you’re describing — written heavily modified Animorphs fan fiction and published it as an original work.  If I had to make a specific guess, it’d be either that Veronica Roth’s Divergent series started as a work of Rachel/Tobias fan fiction, or that Stephenie Meyer’s The Host started as a fan sequel to the whole series.  However, I can’t go beyond guessing, because both authors are (WISELY) keeping their traps shut about the issue.  Yes, Roth has mentioned that Tobias “Four” Eaton is named after Tobias Fangor, but hasn’t gone beyond that.  Meyer has pulled the ultimate Mary-Shelly-worthy power move by responding to questions about her inspiration with “it came to me in a dream ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” which, honestly, life goals right there.

Speaking of Stephenie Meyer, let’s talk about E.L. James as an example of what not to do.  Sure, she didn’t have a ton of choice about people knowing 50 Shades of Grey was Twilight fan fiction — she initially published it on FFN under that heading — but it’s also this unavoidable fact about that novel that has contaminated many people’s perceptions of it.  Meyer has chosen to be classy as fuck about the whole thing through making no acknowledgement whatsoever of James, but she’d be well within her right to sue.  And James’s own work is forever going to be “that Twilight fan fic that made it big,” never considered purely for its own merits.  Jump from E.L. James to Cassandra Clare, and things get uglier: Clare’s been open about the fact that the Mortal Instruments originated as Harry/Draco fan fiction, and as such there’s widespread awareness in fandom spaces that Clare was that cyberbully on FFN back in the day, and is probably guilty of plagiarism.

How to avoid that nonsense?  Take it to your grave.  I know that one of the bestselling YA novels of 2015 was an utterly-revamped Supernatural fic idea; I only know that through the author being a friend of a friend, because the author has (WISELY) made zero public statements that that’s the case.  I know that Tamora Pierce, D.J. MacHale, Stephenie Meyer, and Noelle Stevenson have all quietly acknowledged having FFN or AO3 accounts, and I also know that none of their fan fiction usernames are widely known for good reason.  I know that Applegate herself has made statements that, shall we say, do not definitively rule out the possibility that Animorphs might have in its earliest incarnations borne passing resemblance to Lord of the Rings fan fiction.  But none of these authors have said as much on the record, which is the right way to go.

Anyway, happy writing!

#animorphs #fan fiction #fandom #writing #fic #animorphs fic #copyright #writing advice #please note: the blogger is not a copyright lawyer #and as such this is mostly just speculation #talk to your publisher and don't take legal advice from me #anonymous #asks

[otterskin]

Lokabrenna - Loki & Fire & Swords, Part 2

This is a sequel to this post here

This is why I don’t mind trailing off in a post sometimes. People come by and give me new information to chase. Thanks to @whatyoufish4​ for informing me of some more Loki-Fire facts. Because learning one simple word has taken me down a rabbit hole...

Lokabrenna translates as “Loki’s Torch” or “Loki’s Burning”.

Lokabrenna was the Scandinavian name for the North Star, AKA Sirius, AKA the Dog Star, AKA My Favourite Harry Potter Character. 

It’s also, Google informs me, the name of a Black Metal album by Nawaharjan (meaning Corpse Army, which may be another reference to Loki, neat), released in February of 2020.

I’m not much of one for black metal, but I found the description of why the band chose to name their album after Lokabrenna good for our purposes as well:

“The album’s namesake, Lokabrenna is the Scandinavian name for the star Sirius...The star is associated with important destructive and liberating attributes in many cultures worldwide.

“Within the Brandawegiz tradition, Lokabrenna is associated with the liberating powers of Loki. It is also linked to the destruction of the cosmos that follows after the release of the flaming sword Lævateinn during Ragnarök and Loki’s transformation into his final, liberating aspect Hveðrungr.”

I’m not sure what or who “Brandawegiz“ is, I think it’s something to do with metal music and therefore very outside my knowledge - but now I’m beating myself over the head for failing to mention the sword Lævateinn! Because this is the sword forged by Loki himself in Norse Mythology! Although there’s some contention there - some think it’s more of a magic wand or staff, or maybe a dart or arrow, or perhaps even a shape-shifting weapon. Apparently that’s due to contention over how to translate the name. To quote Wikipedia:

To be fair, Lævateinn or læ-wand can have three possible senses of meaning,[11]...The three meanings of læ (the nominative case of læva) are: "cunning", "deception", and "injury".[12][13] The weapon's name is glossed as "wand of non deceit" in passing without further explanation by Einar Ólafur Sveinsson.[1][14]

Wand of non-deceit? Sounds a little like a thesaurus reworking of ‘Sword of Truth’. Probably a coincidence, but...when it comes to these posts, I make coincidence a three-course meal with an ice cream stopped for on the way home. 

So, anyway - Lævateinn. It’s from a poem called the Fjölsvinnsmál, one of the youngest Eddic poems. And it has a great deal of fire in it.

To sum up a very old, partially corrupted and very confusing story and cut to what interests us today, there’s essentially a hero named Svipdagr, who’s got to kill the Rooster at the top of Yggdrasil as part of his quest to wed Menglöð, who is trapped inside a fortress made of fire. The only weapon that can slay the celestial cockerel is the flaming sword Lævateinn, forged by Loki.

This is interesting, because other than this I’d not much heard of Loki being connected to forging - that was always Thor, who has many ties to blacksmiths. Then again, Loki is around dwarves a lot - maybe he learned a thing or two after commissioning Thor’s hammer from them in the first place. How interesting that Marvel comics have Loki again forging his own weapons as well.

The poem also implies that the hall of flames was also constructed by Loki. How interesting. This poem leaves a lot of questions - why did Loki forge the cockerel-slaying blade, and construct the hall? Well, the cockerel is probably related to the one that raises Odin’s soldiers from the dead with his radio-clock-alarm call. And the hall contains Menglöð and will only open to a hero with the true name Svipdagr, but only if he kills the cockerel. So it would seem implied that this was Loki’s plan, or some sort of destiny driving everything towards Ragnarok and end of days.

(I’d like to recommend this post, which goes into much more detail about Loki’s role in this poem. It also gives more details on why some think Loki was originally a fire giant and his connection to Surtur, expanding what I touched on previously.)

Speaking of driving everything towards Ragnarok - what about this bit of that wonderful album write-up?

Loki’s transformation into his final, liberating aspect Hveðrungr.

Hveðrungr - A name meaning ‘Roaring’, as in the sound of an out-of-control conflagration, or that of a howling storm. It appears as a name for Loki in the Völuspa  (incidentally, I’ve been using parts of that poem in Finnesang), which is a seer’s prophecy about Ragnarok. It’s the name used for Loki as an apocalypse-bringer.

I like what Nawaharjan are implying here when they say that Hveðrungr is a liberating aspect of Loki - I’ve always felt bad about Loki’s transformation into the world-destroyer Snorri Sturluson helped make him and considered it a character assassination of the lighter character I’d come to love in my Norse Mythology books as a child. Yet this different perspective is one to consider. The album cover depicts Loki’s flaming sword severing the chains that bound him to the rock, where he was tortured by acidic serpent’s venom by the Aesir, the people he both despised and desperately wanted to be loved by. In freeing himself and beginning Ragnarok, in unleashing all of his fury and pent-up destructiveness, maybe he did become someone else - a Roaring. After all that treachery, maybe it was cleansing.

I seriously want a copy of this LP now, and I’m positive I won’t really listen to the music too much, ha ha. It’s just so shiny!

To doubleback to where we all started with this, though - Lokabrenna, the star. Let’s get serious about Sirius for a second.

It’s the brightest star in the sky and used as North in navigation. Ancient Greeks believed it could make dogs behave strangely in summer (where the term ‘Dog days of summer’ comes from). It can be seen as a star of ill repute. Homer describes it in the Iliad as:

Sirius rises late in the dark, liquid sky On summer nights, star of stars, Orion's Dog they call it, brightest Of all, but an evil portent, bringing heat And fevers to suffering humanity.

Interestingly, many indigenous people in North America also associated the star with canines. The Cherokee believed it one of a pair of guardian dogs on either end of the Path of Souls. Some Inuit tribes called it the ‘Moon Dog’, while the Pawnee tribe called it Coyote Star (another famous trickster) or Wolf Star. Funnily enough, Chinese astronomy called it the ‘celestial wolf’ as well. 

No matter where, though, Sirius is one of the most important celestial bodies there is thanks to its role in navigation. It’s odd that the Norse decided to name it “Loki’s Torch”, especially since Loki has a strange place in the pantheon, with few known worshipers. They could have called it Odin’s Eye, or Thor’s Toe-Nail Clipping, or Fenrir’s Spittle - but it’s called Lokabrenna. A guiding torch to lead people home or out into the unknown.  

Loki with his torch, alternative cover for Lokabrenna (2020)

#loki #fire #meta #odin #ragnarok #thor #loki trailer theory #loki trailer #lokabrenna #sirius #sword

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

Fanfic ask game: B, I, N, R, S, U, V

FanFic Ask Game

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

I don’t know that any fanfic I’ve written is inspired by personal experience, but I have put a few personal touches in a few of them.  I mean, most of the tropes I dig and relationship scenarios are what I’d like to have in a relationship of my own (after coming from an extremely toxic one, especially).  There’s the Writer and the Waiter in Behind Blue Eyes, who are loosely based off of myself and said toxic ex.  I’ve referenced a couple of poems my sister read to me when I was little in a few fics (and plan to do that more in the future).  That’s probably as close as it’s come so far.  

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I never know how to answer things about guilty pleasures because I never really feel guilty about what gives me pleasure either in reading or writing.  I think my guy here sums it up best: “What's my guilty pleasure? The thing is, I never feel guilty about pleasures.” (Tom Hiddleston)  This is a good one, too: “I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If I like it, I don't feel guilty about it.” (Darren Criss)

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Oh there are tons of fics I wish other people would write.  Mostly, I just want some extra love/sex stories about the pairs I’m into and the tropes I’m into.  I try to give prompts when the fic prompts pop up on my dash, and I know one person is working on a lot of prompts, so I know those are coming.  But I just...want to read more like what I enjoy writing so that...while I’m writing, I can still have that thing I like to read.  And like...I’d like them to be some of the shorter fics (1000-5k or 8k) and not just epics that take a lot of time to read.  I want short fics to read before bed.  

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Non-fanfiction writer influences: A big, big one is Anaïs Nin.  I have always dug her erotica and I would like to improve my erotica to be more like hers but not mimicking it entirely.  In that same vein, I’d say that Kate Chopin (especially in her short story The Storm) has always been in the back of my brain as an influence.  I’d talk about the poets, but those are mostly influences on poetry, so I’ll leave those off.  As far as fanfic writers, there’s ZappyTiel, @majorenglishesquire even though we don’t write in the same fandoms anymore, STARSdidathing and a whole variety of others who I feel like unknowingly push me to do better.  

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I answered this one here, though I will also add mutual pining (though that kind of goes with Idiots in Love).  I’m also a sucker for human AUs (Thor, Loki, and family are humans) or otherworldly AUs (Tony is Asgardian).  

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@stephrc79 STARSdidathing, and ZappyTiel - all because they scratch all the right fandom itches.  I’ll add extras because they do the same: @scottxlogan @mcfiddlestan @rabentochter and @gold-from-straw 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

The Great Gatsby because I love that novel so hard and have since high school.  I would also re-write the sequel to Live Girls by Ray Garton because the sequel he put out really pissed me off.

#kleenexwoman #Fanfic Ask Game

[elesianne]

A Silmarillion fanfic for @finweanladiesweek​ day 6 – original characters

Summary: Moriel, daughter of Caranthir, practises archery, gets advice from her father and receives a new name from her mother.

Wordcount: ~3,700 words; Rating: General audiences

Some keywords: family, father-daughter relationship, insecurity, names, Years of the Trees

A/N: This is a sequel to several fics in my Fëanorian marriages series but I don't think you don't need to have read them to read this.

This fic is dedicated to @alkarinqque​, as I promised many months ago, because you have inspired me with yourenthusiasm and support to write more about Moriel. I hope that you like this.

Warning: There is discussion about looks, a sense of belonging, and beauty standards in the first chapter. There is no heavy angst or dysmorphia but I thought I'd warn anyway.

Moriel is the elven equivalent of about nine or ten years here.

*

Daughter of arrows and stars

On most days Carnistir enjoys teaching his older daughter mathematics and the other subjects that he is more equipped to handle than Tuilindien. On days like this, though, when Moriel cannot keep still for five seconds at a time, he has to breathe deep to keep his fragile patience from fraying too far.

'Do you have ants in your socks and sleeves?' he snaps when her slate falls to the floor from her tapping her chalk on it too forcefully. 'As it seems you cannot keep your hands or feet still at all.'

For a reply, his daughter scowls. She is good at it, with her expressive black brows and her hair falling to her face as a curly dark curtain.

Carnistir stands up. 'Let's go outside.' Something physical to do will be easier for them both.

Moriel looks confused. 'We always do mathematics in the morning and outdoor and workshop lessons in the afternoons.'

'Today we're going to have archery practice in the morning and return to tackling arithmetic after lunch.'

He is not going to interrogate Moriel about why she is so restless. She will tell him when he is ready, he knows. He was the same as a child.

He picks up Vaniel from the sturdy wicker basket where she has been babbling quietly to herself. Her chubby cheeks spread to a wide answering smile when he smiles down at her. She is such a happy baby, content to wait in her basket during Moriel's morning lessons, easily soothed by warm thoughts from Carnistir if she becomes bored or disgruntled.

'Let us go see if your mother can look after you, sweetheart', Carnistir says to Vaniel, smoothing down her wrinkled tunic. She says something in reply but for now, her words are all her own, incomprehensible to others. She will speak soon, though, Tuilindien says, and her intuitions about their children tend to be right.

Moriel grabs the empty basket and the three of them make their way to Tuilindien's study a few doors down.

Moriel throws open the door and declares loudly to her mother, swinging the basket in her hands, 'I cannot keep still and arithmetic is boring today so papa and I are going to shoot some arrows.'

Carnistir wonders how his child inherited Makalaurë and Curufinwë's flair for drama. Well, it is Fëanáro's flair for drama, originally, so his father is to blame for this too.

Tuilindien puts down her quill. Carnistir is sorry to have interrupted her writing.

'Is that so?' she asks and comes to them, wide yellow skirt swishing quietly. 'Vaniel will be staying with me, then.' She takes the baby from Carnistir and kisses her cheek. 'Yes, my little darling, you are far too young for archery.'

'I am sorry for the intrusion on your work', Carnistir says while Moriel puts down the basket on Tuilindien's long desk and then sets to making faces for Vaniel to laugh at.

'It is all right. I would probably have had to come to feed her soon anyway. Well, Moriel dear, I wish you the best of luck. Any day now you'll outshoot your father.'

Moriel preens. 'He's not very good.'

Carnistir gives in to the childish temptation to roll his eyes while Tuilindien tries to hide her grin. 'I'm better with a hunting spear', he says.

'You should teach me to use it, then', says Moriel, snake-quick to take the opportunity.

'I'm not giving you a spear yet.'

'You could', Moriel argues, and they argue about it all the while they go change for archery and gather the things they need and make their way to the little practice area that is partially in the garden and partially in the orchard behind it.

It is a years-long argument already. Carnistir knows he will give in soon.

They practise for a while, starting by stretching and then Moriel shoots at the different targets while Carnistir corrects her stance and grip and other small things that he still knows a little better than she does. If Moriel's interest and improvement in archery endures, Carnistir will soon have to ask Tyelkormo to take over teaching her.

Suddenly, in the middle of attempting to hit the farthest target, Moriel lowers her bow and says, 'I don't like the way I look. I don't look like anyone.'

Carnistir's confusion must show because Moriel clarifies, 'Not like anyone in the family.'

Carnistir takes her bow and his and puts them down on the bench, sitting down next to them and drawing Moriel with him to sit beside him.

'I could list all your body parts and who they look like', he offers lamely. Her mother's skin tone, his freckles and eyes, the same texture as hair as Tuilindien has but the colour from him…

'No.' Moriel scoffs. 'As a whole I don't look like anyone in the family and I don't like it.'

Carnistir's first instinct is to protest, to deny that it matters at all who or what she looks like. But he knows from painful personal experience that it does – it took him until the moment of Moriel's birth to make his peace with his own looks – and he knows that Moriel often finds more value in logic and method than simple declarations of what is important in the speaker's opinion.

He begins at her very expanded family. 'I think that when you have more cousins – more great-grandchildren of grandfather Finwë, I mean – there will be more people in the family who look like you. Itarillë does, though she is still small.'

'Very small.' Moriel scrunches up her nose. 'She is never going to be tall, even when she grows up.'

'Well, her Vanya mother is short unlike yours. Let's see.' He leans against the back of the bench, warm in the light, Moriel a light, warm weight against his side. 'Cousin Findekáno –'

'Half-cousin', Moriel corrects, parroting her grandfather. This once Carnistir wishes she didn't. It is not conducive to what he is trying to say.

'Findekáno looks a lot like you', Carnistir plods on. 'With curly black hair and grey eyes and brown skin –'

'Darker than mine', Moriel interrupts again.

Carnistir ruffles her hair. 'Let me make my point, pipsqueak. He looks a lot like you. Perhaps, if you want to give your grandfather conniptions, you should wear your hair braided with gold one day.'

Moriel snorts. 'Only if I'm very angry with him some day.'

'There's a plan. To my next point: yes, you don't look very much like any of your cousins or aunts or uncles. Well, no one looks like Tyelkormo either, do they? Or me. My face is so different from Curvo and Cáno's.'

Moriel nods, grudgingly admitting the point.

'I still wish', she says. 'All of my Vanyarin cousins look so different from me, too.'

'They do', Carnistir admits. 'Because unfortunately none of your aunts had the good sense to marry a Noldo.'

That doesn't inspire laughter. Carnistir thought it rather funny.

Detaching Moriel from his side and turning to face her, he says, drawing gentleness from within himself and resorting to the approach he originally abandoned, 'It does not matter if you don't look much like anyone in the family. In our closest little family – you, me, your mama and Vaniel – no one looks much like anyone else but we belong together anyway.'

'We do.' Moriel sighs, and Carnistir can practically see her shoulders lose some of their tension.

He draws her in for a long hug, and she comes willingly now. Blowing frizzy curls out of his mouth and carding his fingers through them, Carnistir says, 'You will likely have more little sisters or brothers someday and they may well look like you.'

Without lifting her head, Moriel mumbles, 'It is not just that I don't look much like anyone I'm related to but also that… sometimes I feel that I am too tall and too strong. I have big hands and I'm as broad and tall as Tyelpë. It isn't… no maiden of song ever looks like that. I don't think I'm very pretty.'

What rot, Carnistir thinks, and considers saying so. Then he realises that he should not pause to think for too long lest she think that he agrees with her.

'I don't agree', he says, to make it as clear as possible.

'Of course you think I'm pretty. I am your daughter so you are biased.' She pulls away from him.

And she is sullen again. Carnistir sighs.

His father said something once about temperamental children usually growing into parents of temperamental children. Carnistir hates it when he is proven right.

'I think that songs and poems are often utter rot when it comes to people', he says, picking words one by one like flowers, careful. 'Too many of them only describe some stereotypical ideals. Only maidens with dark hair and white skin and maidens with golden hair and dark skin, isn't that so? Only the extremes, somehow that is poetic or romantic or something. But it is not true at all that only women who look like that are beautiful.

'The truth is', he says, growing rather heated now, 'that people think all sorts of people are pretty or handsome and like all sorts of people. And just as true is that when one day you start thinking of… marrying sort of things...'

He realises that he has raised his voice. Perhaps that is good? Perhaps it will help Moriel believe him.

He carries on doggedly even though, as he utters each word, he fears failing her. 'When you meet someone you love, even then it doesn't matter what those over-decorated peacocks at court think a beautiful person looks like, or the over-romantic souls who write the popular songs.

'When it matters – when it is someone that matters to you, and you matter to them – that is the only time that your looks will matter –'

Too many matters, he thinks, yet carries on.

'Then they – that person – will not be measuring you up in their mind or summing up your flaws. They'll be looking at you and they'll see you and if they find your – your strong will and your keen eye and your vigilant care of your sister beautiful, then they'll find you beautiful.'

Moriel listens quietly, dark eyes intent on his, clutching a bent arrow in her hand still.

Carnistir ends, words still sticky on his tongue, with, 'What is to you beauty unseen will be blindingly bright for someone who loves you. As it already is to your mother and me.'

'Is that from a poem?' Moriel asks. 'From beauty unseen to blindingly bright.'

Carnistir can feel colour rise to his cheeks. 'No, it is just… the words that I arrived at when I thought about this.'

'You're always saying that you're not a poet. But you might be, secretly', Moriel says in the same tone as she might say an insult. It is hypocritical of her since she enjoys almost all music and much of poetry, too.

'I'm not a poet', Carnistir says. 'Only your father. And – and I'm not handsome', he adds. Tuilindien is always telling him not to say so but he has always believed in being honest to himself and about himself. 'But your mother loves me', he says to Moriel. 'The reason she did not marry me as soon as I'd have liked had nothing to do with what I look like, or it did in that way that only she can see.'

Moriel still looks dubious but she says, 'You are very happy. You and mama.'

'Yes, we are. Moriel, my darling, there is – I do not have good words for it but as I said there is a connection of spirits between friends and family that has little to do with looks and everything with, with what sort of a spirit you have.' The words are pouring out of him. 'If you like what a person's fëa is like you will like their hröa too. I never thought the Vanyar so beautiful before I met your mother.'

'I am brave', Moriel says, and she is, too foolhardy for even Carnistir's taste. 'I'm loyal like grandpapa Fëanáro is always saying we should be to our family and friends. I learn many things fast and I am a good sister to Vaniel and a good cousin to Tyelpë.'

'You are', Carnistir agrees, his chest tight at his brave girl's summary of herself. His lesson to her has become all muddled, but she seems to be taking some solace in it, and that is the important thing. 'You are smart and strong. Strength is beautiful, and skill.' Thinking of Moriel's patience and care with her baby sister, he adds, 'And kindness. A deeper beauty.'

'I also get grumpy too easily like you.' And she is honest like him, straight-spoken. 'But I know how to ask for forgiveness.'

'You have learned to do it much faster than I did.'

'You're a good teacher, papa.' Moriel pulls a grimy handkerchief out of her pocket and blows her nose on it. Carnistir makes a mental note to get her a clean one when they go inside.

She drops the bent arrow on the ground and picks up her bow. 'Let's shoot again.'

'Alright', Carnistir concedes. If Moriel doesn't have more to say, he doesn't know what to say either. 'Let us start by fetching the arrows you have shot so far.'

He goes to pull out the arrows Moriel managed to shoot into the targets while she searches around for the ones that fell short.

She sees that two embedded themselves into trees, and grimaces as she pulls them out.

'We will hear about this from the gardener and your mother both', Carnistir notes, grimacing as well.

He watches Moriel use all her strength to pull a stubbornly embedded arrow from a yavannamírë tree, the muscles in her bare forearms tensing.

'I know who you look like', he says. He doesn't know how he did not see it before.

With a hoop of victory and a few stumbling steps backwards, Moriel manages to pull out the arrow.

'Who?' she asks, bringing the arrows to their shooting line.

'My mother.' Even as Moriel begins protesting, Carnistir begins listing. 'You are tall and broad-shouldered, and nimble-fingered and strong-armed, and you have freckles you inherited from me and her. The different hair and skin is a small thing compared to all that. I believe that when you are grown and stand side by side with her, the resemblance will be remarkable.'

Moriel is quiet, the bunch of arrows still in her hand. 'I think I would like that. Especially if I will be as skilled as she is.'

'You will be. You have the same passion, and learning will be easier when you are naturally strong.'

As long as Moriel has known how to say it, she has been saying that she wants to be a smith. What kind of smith she intends to become changes every week, but the passion burns steady.

'Thank you, papa', Moriel says abruptly. 'I know you don't like talking about things like this and you think that mama is better at it. But sometimes I need… she is so nice; you know how she is. Sometimes it is too much for me.'

Carnistir clears his throat. 'Let's shoot twenty arrows, then we go inside for lunch. And then you need to talk with your mother, too, about whatever it is she wanted to talk to you about.'

Moriel stares at the targets, then turns to Carnistir with a grin, almost herself again. 'If I hit the farthest target on more than half of my tries, can I get two portions of dessert?'

He is too soft with her, he knows he is, yet he says, 'If you promise to eat enough actual lunch too.'

'I promise.'

She hits that target on all but one of her tries.

*

Part II

At dinner that evening, Moriel can see her mother stealing glances at her, probably to see if what was causing her restlessness earlier in the day has passed. Her mother is not much good at subtlety, and it doesn't take long for Moriel to grow tired of her concerned looks.

She puts down her spoon with too much of a clatter. 'Mama, I am all right', she says.

'Blurgh', says Vaniel who is getting acquainted with soup for the first time. She does not seem very impressed.

'I am glad if you are', mother says. 'Did the archery help, then?'

'Mm.' Moriel picks up her spoon and starts eating her soup again. It is good even if Vaniel doesn't think so. 'And papa and I talked.'

'You did?' Mother glances at father in that way they have. Moriel knows they are talking about her without saying anything.

'Don't do that', she grumbles. 'Please', she remembers to add though not before her mother's chastising look.

'Very well, I will ask you directly, then', mother acquiesces. 'Did talking with your papa help with whatever was on your mind?'

'It did.' Vaniel splashes at her soup, poking at it with a finger before father can stop her. Moriel gives her her dessert spoon to play with instead.

'I am glad', mother says again. 'There is something I have been meaning to talk to you about as well, Moriel dear.'

In her excitement, Moriel drops her spoon again. 'My name?'

She does not have a mother-name. She is unusually old for that but she hasn't minded it much so far, not really.

Many years ago mother asked her if it would be all right with her to wait a bit longer to see if she gets some special insight for a name, like mothers sometimes do, and Moriel said that it was. Then, a year ago, when she hadn't received any foresight or anything like that, mother had told Moriel of a name she'd thought of for her, a bird's name. Mother has a bird name – from tuilindo, swallow – and so do her sisters and many of their children.

She had asked, 'Do you like the name?' and Moriel had said no, because she didn't. It didn't feel like hers.

Mother had looked sad but said, 'Then it is not your name.'

'Maybe – maybe not a bird name', Moriel had said. She couldn't say why not, though; she didn't know. She does like birds.

Mother had accepted it. 'I will think of another kind of name, then. It will likely take some time. It turns out that I am very slow at naming children.'

Now mother says, with a smile at Moriel's enthusiasm, 'Yes, your name.'

'Tell me! Please', Moriel adds at a disapproving grunt from her father's direction.

Mother laughs and asks, 'Do you want to know right here and now, or wait until after dinner when we can talk, just you and I? Either way', she continues despite Moriel beginning to ask for her name now, 'please, mama'.

'Either way', mother says, 'you can refuse it if it doesn't feel like yours, and I will keep trying.'

'Now', says Moriel. She tries to keep from falling off her chair in her excitement.

(She is very old not to have a mother-name. Even Tyelpë, who is almost always nice and incidentally received his mother-name at one day old, has remarked on it.)

'Elerrína', says mother, her smile the same nervous one now that it is when she talks with grandpapa Fëanáro. 'I hope that perhaps you do not mind being named after a mountain?'

Elerrína is one of the names of Taniquetil, the holy mountain where mother grew up. Moriel thinks that it might be the least used one. She knows it only from songs, but she knows that it means 'crowned with stars'. Taniquetil is very high but not so high as to reach the stars, so it is a sort of poetic near-sensible name.

'Elerrína', Moriel says, testing the weight and shape of it on her tongue. It is longer and prettier than Moriel. It is similar in meaning if not form to aunt Tinweriel's name.

'For your freckles, my darling', mother says.

'Oh', says Moriel. She likes that. The name makes her freckles sound beautiful.

'I don't mind being named after a mountain', she says to her mother decisively. 'I want to be Elerrína. It's a mountain where Vanyar live and it's my Vanyarin name. Moriel is my Noldorin name.'

'You can take some time to decide which you prefer to be called.'

'I don't need time. I want to be called Moriel in Tirion and Elerrína on the plains and in Valmar and on Taniquetil. But you can always call me Moriel', she nods at her father, 'and mama, I like the way you say Elerrína, you can call me by it anywhere.'

'Being called by a different name in a different place is unconventional but it sounds like something that will fit you well', her mother. She gets up and comes to hug Moriel, pressing a kiss on her head. 'I am glad that you like the name', she whispers in her ear. 'I am sorry it took me so long to think of it.'

Moriel hugs her back. 'I didn't mind. I like being Moriel, too. Moriel Elerrína', she says, feeling out the combination. 'My name has rather a lot of r's.'

'Suits you', says father.

Moriel squints at him dubiously. She decides that she is too happy to get vexed.

Mother goes back to her own chair. 'I am already considering mother-names for Vaniel so that she might not have to wait as long', she says. 'I have learned, now, that I should not wait for any sort of foresight to inspire a name. It seems that that gift has passed me by though my father sometimes has inklings of things yet to happen.'

And from there mother and father launch into a long discussion about knowing things in advance of them happening. Moriel is not interested in it so she goes back to eating, tasting and savouring her new name along with every spoonful of soup.

'Elerrína, Elerrína', she whispers to herself. 'Star-crowned.'

'Sarrrb', says Vaniel.

'Quite so', Moriel agrees. 'Star-crowned.' She wipes mushed pea from Vaniel's cheek. Father is distracted with mother and not keeping much of an eye on Vaniel. It's alright; Moriel likes helping her during meals.

'I hope that mother will think of as pretty a name for you', Moriel says to her little sister.

*

A/N: In Names of insight, foresight, love I had Nerdanel asking her children whether they liked their mother-names before making the final choice of naming them thus. Tuilindien has the kind of nature where she would happily follow Nerdanel's example so I wrote her doing so.

Thank you for reading, I would love to hear what you guys thought about this!

#finweanladiesweek #I should have edited this one more round perhaps but I wanted to post it today #moriel #caranthir #tuilindien #my ocs #caranthir's daughters #daughter of arrows and stars #my fics #elesianne's fics

[imaginesfora3]

No More Tears

A/N: A sequel to this Homare story that apparently stomped on a lot of people’s hearts

Homare hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep that night.

Even with the likes of Azuma and Tsumugi trying to soothe his frayed nerves he was far too anxious to slumber, staring at his phone, pacing in his room, wondering when he’d hear from you again. He’d gone over his insensitive words repeatedly, recognizing where he might have went wrong, where the negative interpretation had come in through no fault of your own. His ability to put his foot in his mouth seemed to increase with age and he found himself considering just sewing his mouth shut so his words may never hurt you again.

Fear had struck him so deeply that he knew it would not be easy to be rid of it.

And yet the sight of your face the next morning, as somber as it was, makes his heart leap in his chest. He wanted to greet you as he normally did with an enthusiastic kiss to the lips and then a few more to your cheeks for good measure but he felt he didn’t have the right any longer. You seemed a bit disappointed but didn’t say anything, simply greeting him with a nod as he allowed you to step into his room. You sat on his bed and clearly expected him to follow you, his anxiety quickly returning as he felt like he was being rapidly pulled back in time yet again. Was the look on your face really that similar to his exes before she’d left him or was he just imagining things? How deeply had his words wounded you? Was he overreacting or just bracing himself for the inevitable yet again?

“Homare, I can already tell you’re thinking too much.”

“My name doesn’t deserve to be on your lips,” He gathered the courage to grab your hands, pulling them to his chest, “I want nothing more than to apologize to you, for the rest of my days if you request it. My words were that of a fool who hadn’t realized all he had to lose.”

You don’t pull away from his touch which is comforting, squeezing his soft and slightly sweaty hands. You can see the bags under his eyes and how his hair had been hastily combed down to look approachable after you’d knocked, wondering if he got any sleep at all. As hurt as you were yesterday you had sent him away to sort out your own feelings, no wanting Homare to suffer with you while you tried to work through your conflicted emotions. Looking at him now perhaps he’d gotten the wrong idea, not understanding that you just needed some time alone which was perfectly normal after arguing with a significant other.

“Do you, uh, do you understand what made me so upset yesterday? Like, you do understand why saying something like that made me cry?”

“I’ve thought about it all night, it was the only thing my mind could focus on. It is precisely why I can apologize without hesitation! But if you still wish to… If you wish to…” He couldn’t get the words out, he couldn’t imagine a future where you weren’t by his side and he truly didn’t want to. But your happiness came before anything, and if it’d make you happiest to no longer have to see his wretched face or listen to a single line of his poetry again, than he’d sacrifice his happiness for yours.

“I know you’re an actor and all, but don’t get dramatic,” There’s a hint of a smile on your face even if there’s still some tension in the room, hands still clasped together, “I love you, Homare. I love you and I’m not giving up on us even if we hit a few bumps in the road… I just thought it was important you knew that.”

“…So you don’t wish to end our relationship?”

“Of course not. It was just one little mistake, and luckily for you, I know exactly how you are when you go on your tangents. You could use a little humbling.” Your teasing tone is the most relieving sound he’d ever heard and his shoulders slumped, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes as he realized it was in his head. He would have to work carefully to regain your trust, to understand the implications of his words before they left his mouth, but he knew it was something he could work on.

“Thank you for this second chance, my dearest,” He brought your hands to his face, his soft lips leaving a trail of kisses across the knuckles of both of your hands. “I won’t be letting you down again!”

“I look forward to my apology poem,” You leaned over to kiss his cheek, “In fact, I think I should have an entire book of poems just about me. What do you think?”

His nerves have calmed. His heart has returned to his chest from his throat. You’re full-on smiling now, filling him with endless inspiration that he’d start using to write the minute you parted.  

“That’s the easiest thing you could ask of me, my rose, for poetry comes all too easy for a man as deeply in love as I.”

#Homare Arisugawa #Arisugawa Homare #A3 #A3! #A3 Imagines #A3 x Reader #Act! Addict! Actors! #Arisugawa Homare x Reader #Homare Arisugawa x Reader #Scenario