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taiblogcomics · 1 year

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Not-So-Great Briton

Hey there, Mayan Hill Farms. You know, I think one of the worst things about this being an 18 issue series is that 18 doesn't divide up so much. Like, a 12 issue series, being a quarter of the way through and a third of the way through are right next to each other! Like, what are we on, 5 out of 18 today? That's not anything! What's 18 divisible by, 1, 2, 3, 6, 9, and 18? That's terrible. Anyways, let's hope this is the largest complaint I have this week~

Here's the cover:

Hey, who do you think our focal point character is going to be this issue? Is it Kid Briton? I bet it's probably going to be Kid Briton. I mean, I guess it's kind of a cool poster look, but like... It's trying to sell you on this new character. "Come read about my OC!" Is this enticing? Will it get you to pick up issue 5 of this ongoing series? I dunno, man. I also just think his chinstrap-earmuffs style of costume is dumb-looking. Sword's pretty cool, though~

Addendum: Apparently it's also an A Clockwork Orange reference, so sue me for not recognising that. I don't think that makes it better, though. Like, the Battle Royale cover was cute, I got that one. Is A Clockwork Orange even a teenage murder movie? But, like, homaging all these movie posters just says to me that they don't have any unique ideas to sell you on their own premise. They have to copy something else you recognise to draw your attention.

Anyway, last time on Child Murder Island, Arcade kidnapped a bunch of teens and Darkhawk and told them to Hunger Games. It's been, like, eight days, and food's running out. Our Runaways reps attempt to make an alliance, but someone roasts Reptil in the woods, and Chase takes the blame, ruining the mood and the issue. While moping, Chase also finds Darkhawk's magic doodad out in the woods, thus making him the new bearer of the Darkhawk powers. And given the way these issues have gone, I bet we won't see any of that in today's kindling!

So we open with who else but Kid Briton. He's monologuing to himself, which seems to be a common pasttime on Child Murder Island, I've noticed. Kid Briton's having the very pleasant thoughts of how he's so cool and invincible, and how it'd be easy to murder Cullen Bloodstone and Anachronism right now while they slept, save everyone some trouble later. How pleasant that this is our focal character. But he decides not to, because it'd make Apex unhappy. And an unhappy Apex is an unhappy Kid Briton. So at least there's that much hope.

We dip into a flashback, and I just wanna have it known up front that I know remarkably little about Captain Britain. Gonna save some trouble and refer to Kid Briton by his name, Brian. Anyway, he's in Captain Britain's office at Braddock Academy, getting a lecture about how he's not applying himself or something. "You could be the best and brightest, but you're just the school bully." And Brian's response is that being a cocky little shit is how he keeps going, because his powers depend on self-confidence. I guess the response would be that you can be confident without being a cock, but Captain Britain instead chooses to dismiss him and go punch a dragon.

Morning comes on Child Murder Island with Arcade finally showing up in his damn plot for the first time since issue 1. He wakes up everybody by appearing in the sky and singing "The Candy Man" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Maybe the boat scene song would have been more appropriate. Anyways, he's bored. Boy, I hate agreeing with him, but I am too. So he's decided to mix things up. He's putting four safe zone out, one per quadrant, and one of them has supplies. He even tells them that it's in safe zone 2. But it'll be first come first served, so get to it, kids.

The Braddock pack decide to set out, but are delayed because the earthquakes accompanying Arcade's "I've come to make an announcement!" shifted the place around, and Anachronism can't find his axe with both hands and a flashlight. Kid Briton suggests he leave it, coz it's not like he has the guts to use it. Cullen Bloodstone finds the axe at this point, and throws it directly at Kid Briton's face. Anachronism sticks out his hand and catches it an inch from striking him. Kid Briton then punches Cullen for doing that. So everyone's an asshole today, huh?

To emphasise this, we get another flashback to Kid Briton at the academy. You know he's a douche because he goes around in his super-suit in a casual setting. First he's making out with Apex, telling her she's the only one he's into. He then goes down the hall and makes out with Nara. And along the way, he sees a fat nerd stereotype, who's using a laptop to play a game, and cuts his laptop in half. Few minutes later, same nerd kid walks in on the makeout accidentally, and Kid Briton beats the shit out of him so he won't tell. I think someone just jumped to the bottom of my list of characters I want to see get out of this~

Back in the present, the earthquakes also caused an avalanche in the snow area, and Cammi got buried. However, Nico and Chase happened to be nearby to pull her out. She proposes an alliance, since they've already taken out Mettle, Red Raven, the Sentinel, and Darkhawk. And the last two of those are serious customers! All she's got is survival skills and a raygun. So since Darkhawk never turned up for their meeting, she offers to stick with them, while Chase tries not to look very suspicious about having found Darkhawk's power amulet. I sure hope that won't lead to drama later!

At the same time, the Braddock Pack are crossing some sort of stone bridge, and Cullen wonders if this is real or they're all hooked up in a Matrix VR setup. Anachronism replies that, if they die in a video game or real life, they're dead either way, so who cares. That's a fair point, honestly. The rest of the group yells at them to hurry up, and the lads comment that they hate them. What a coincidence, I hate them too. Then the bridge collapses under them for no reason, and they fall in the river.

None of the rest of the Braddock pack rushes to help them, and when Cullen and Anachronism manage to struggle to shore, Kid Briton justifies himself with "See, they made it, they're fine". Wow, I might almost hate this character more than the actual villain of the piece. Anyway, as he and Nara--who is an Atlantean, by the way, she could dive in no problem--just smugly watch them across the shore, Deathlocket's expression goes blank. She steps backwards, aims her gun, and shoots Nara point-blank, blasting her off the cliff, to Kid Briton's horror.

At the same moment, we cut over to X-23 and Hazmat hauling Reptil up a hill on a makeshift stretcher. After a bit, he suddenly stirs and resumes consciousness, and the girls check on him. They tell him they kicked the Runaways out after what they pulled, and Reptil tells them that Chase isn't the one who blasted him. It was Deathlocket. Deathlocket has been the one stalking these camps the whole time. And Deathlocket is one I would believe totally has the strength to fold the Sentinel in half and throw it over the treeline.

Naturally, Kid Briton is about to flip out on Deathlocket, who has resumed consciousness and has no idea why she did what she did. Before there can be a fight, though, Apex steps in. She reasons out that Nara fell in the river, she'll be fine. And she's kind of a petty asshole anyway, so they're better off without the dead weight. When Kid Briton tries to protest, Apex reveals that she knew all along that Kid Briton was cheating on her, and she put up with it at the academy. But now they're out for survival, and she wants to win. So she heads off, and Kid Briton and Deathlocket don't really know what else to do but follow.

Oh boy, this is definitely an issue I didn’t like. Could you tell~? Kid Briton is thoroughly unpleasant, and I didn’t enjoy having him as our focus character. That’s really the majority complaint! This character is unlikeable, and we were saddled with him the majority of the issue. The parts without him were fine, honestly. Way to endear us to your new OC you invented for this story and hoped would get a spinoff~

#comics #reviews #Avengers Arena #Taiblog

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spacebarnes · 3 years

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we we're too young ✧ t.holland

summary: when the pressure of the age ends a relationship, a song comes.

warnings: swearing, fluff at the end

a/n: i really love Louis and the lyrics of this songs are painful, so why not? requests are open! english it's not my first language so i'm so sorry about any mistake, take care of yourself pls! <3 (not my gif)

When you broke up with Tom, you promised yourself that you would never speed things up in a relationship again.

And maybe that's what ruined everything. Moving in together in your early 20s and starting a new life just the two of you was either the best or the worst relationship decision. But, you were two teenagers in love, sure that you were each other's soul mate, who would dare break your illusion?

It had been almost three years since you left the apartment, ending it all there. You knew you couldn't keep Tom's name from being all over Hollywood, or even coming up as a topic of conversation with your friends, but you could avoid seeing him at events. And that's exactly what you did over the years.

Right now you were getting ready for a performance with Louis Tomlinson and other singers that all of you were giving at a community event for a foundation.

"Hey," you spoke as Lana, your makeup artist, finished applying some blush to your cheeks. "You're already here?"

"I'm in the parking lot," Sebastian replied and you could hear the sound of a car door closing. "Dua is already singing?"

"I think so, why?" you asked as you grimaced so Lana could apply more product to your face.

"Cause i don't wanna look like i only care about you." his voice sounded somewhat agitated, indicating that he was walking towards the door of the building.

"But you only care about me." you replied with a giggle, listening as he also laughed lightly.

"I know but, sounds rude," Lana put her things away and left you alone, not before you thanked her for the amazing job she had done on your face. "And what are you singing besides Too Young?"

"Moonlight, Dangerous Woman, Positions and Nasty." Sebastian couldn't see you, but you had a smirk in your face.

"So you're getting nasty, huh?" you laughed at the comment you knew he would make about the song. "Oh, and by the way. Tom is-" he couldn't finish the sentence because you interrupted him.

"Ugh," you rolled your eyes without him being able to see you. "Can we just not talk about him? It's been like three years, c'mon. Everybody needs to get over it."

"Alright big girl, see you over here. Bye."

The call ended and the sentence that your friend didn't finish started to haunt your head. Why did he name your ex? Sebastian wasn't usually one of those people who always named him, he only did it when it was something important or very urgent, what would have happened?

Your thoughts faded when three knocks sounded at your door.

"Love, you're ready? We gotta go!" the accent of Louis reached your ears and you just tried to hide the smile that formed on your face knowing that you were already going on stage.

"Coming!" you shouted back and gave yourself one last look in the mirror before dropping your cell phone on the little red couch. You saw the screen light up, indicating that you had gotten a notification but you didn't take any notice, it was surely from a fan.

Cindy:

You're gonna die.

I just saw Harry, Sam and Tom in like four tables behind us.

He's here for you.

"I have to say you look very pretty." the boy next to you complimented you as the both of you walked down the big hallway to get to the stage.

"Thanks, Tommo," you thanked him with a big smile. "You look great too, and i'm sure that you are gonna do a show out there."

"Bullshit," he shook his head, hiding the smile that had formed on his face. "But we are gonna rock the stage, and then you will do it by yourself." he said with a big smile, causing one on you and hugging you around your waist.

"Y/N, put this on." the sound guy handed you a yellow headset with your initial engraved on it as you arrived on stage, a big red cloth covering both of you.

"I saw some of your cast friends out there." this made your eyes sparkle a little, you were excited to know that they actually did come.

"Oh yeah, I invited some of them. I'm happy they came to support the event."

"Yeah, but there was this guy," he grimaced trying to remember and bit his lower lip. "I don't remember his name, but he was with two other people."

"Are you sure that he was from Marvel?" you asked with furrowed brows and he nodded immediately.

"Yeah, i've seen his face in the movies before."

"Maybe it was Hemsworth with Liam and Elsa, i dunno." you shrugged and Louis just nodded, trusting you.

The two of you turned on your microphones so you could start talking as you had previously rehearsed.

"So yeah, I hear Louis Tomlinson can't sing at all." you spoke into the mic, causing several of the fans who bought a ticket to scream.

"Well, I hear Y/N Y/L doesn't sing that well. She can't even get to the high notes!" his voice echoed throughout the venue as you two laughed quietly behind the curtain. This was all based on the many criticisms the two of you were receiving.

"Ugh, yeah. And that two assholes have a show tonight." you spoke as you watched the canvas begin to open, making the screams grow louder.

"I bet that they won't even be able to fill half the forum." Louis and you take a step out of the shadows.

"Oh shit!" you exclaimed when you saw how many people were there. You and Louis had sent out a large number of invitations to various artists, but you didn't expect everyone to go. Your eyes quickly visualized Sebastian next to Elizabeth. In one corner was Ryan Reynolds and in the other Lily Collins, there really were a lot of stars in the place. Finally, some fans were right in front of the stage, separated from everyone else.

"They really made it," your friend said between a chuckle before speaking again. "How is it going?" he openly asked all the people, earning several shouts of excitement.

"Alright, so, first of all," you looked to your left for Tomlinson's approval before continuing to speak, he just closed his eyes and nodded. "Thanks to everybody for coming tonight. It really means a lot to Louis and I that you could donate a little money for the kids that belong to this foundation. I didn't thought that so many of you would come today, I honestly just thought Sebastian and my mom would come," you admitted with a nervous laugh, eliciting one from the listeners and earning an on-air kiss from Sebastian "But yeah, again, thanks to all of you for showing up today. I'm sure that all of these kids thank you with all their hearts."

"So many boring things but no action, let's hear it!" Louis said and he walked back a bit so he could sit on the small wooden benches that were on the stage. Unlike the other artists, the two of you wouldn't be doing a big performance for Too Young.

And that's because Too Young is not a very happy song. You and Louis wrote it when you were just coming out of your relationship and feelings were running high. It was a special and painful song.

The melody started to play and you shared a big smile with the guy to your right before you started singing.

we were too young

to know we had everything

too young, I wish I could've seen it all along

i'm sorry that i hurt you, darling, no, oh

we were too young

Emotions and memories began to fill your mind. It was hard to sing this song without feeling a sense of guilt at all.

i've been looking back a lot lately

me and you is all I've ever known

it's hard to think you could ever hate me

but everything's feeling different now

Your eyes were focused on Jake Gyllehaal and Blake Lively talking about your presentation. You had met Jake through Tom and had formed a great friendship, but you were curious to know what Blake thought.

oh, I can't believe I gave in to the pressure

when they said a love like this would never last

so I cut you off 'cause I didn't know no better

now I realise, yeah, I realise

Your eyes searched for Cindy and a couple of friends you knew were here just as you were singing the chorus. You noticed they were making some strange signs and pointing behind them, not understanding, you just furrowed your brows and finished your part of the song just for now Louis to start singing.

You didn't take your eyes off your friends, still trying to decipher what they wanted you to see or something that was bothering them. That's when you looked up a bit at the tables behind them and your eyes met with a curly-haired boy you instantly recognized.

Harry Holland.

You blinked several times to double check if it was him and not an illusion of your mind, but it was. He was wearing a black suit and next to him was Sam, who was wearing a white dress shirt and a brown jacket.

And then there was him.

Tom looked radiant as always. He was wearing an olive green suit with a gray shirt underneath and you looked away quickly when you saw that you two connected eyes for a second, as he had the same lost and in love look that he looked at you with a few years ago.

You felt a squeeze on your leg and quickly turned your gaze to see Louis, who asked you with his eyebrows and gaze if you were okay, to which you just nodded and swallowed dryly before moving your mouth back to the microphone.

it's been three years since I've seen your face

i'm trying to find some better words to say

before I let this moment slip away

'cause now I realise

Some had noticed that you had changed a part of the lyrics and others just kept smiling at the beautiful melody. You turned to look at Louis and just shrugged your shoulders with a small smile.

we were too young to know we had everything

too young, I wish I could've seen it all along

i'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no, oh

we were too young

The song ended and your friend took your hand to move a little closer to the edge of the stage and take a bow for the whole audience, receiving applause for all of them.

"Good luck, love," the Brit hugged you and gave you a little kiss on the cheek, rubbing your shoulder one last time before taking the mic again. "Let's hear it for Y/N Y/L!"

The time progressed and you finished singing your songs as did Louis, thus ending the event and letting the guests leave the place freely.

"So we came here for nothing?" Harry asked before gluing his lips to the glass bottle, causing Tom to look away from you for a moment to look at his brother.

"Oh, shut up."

"He's got a point," Sam joined the conversation, setting the empty bottle down on the table. "I mean, you canceled today's work just to come see her and you're not going to talk to her. Really?"

Tom gave one last glance at his two brothers before returning his eyes to you, biting his bottom lip from nerves and the indecision he felt.

You looked as pretty as ever. You waved goodbye, hugged and made small talk with each departing guest, thanking them for attending.

"Alright, this is what is gonna happen," the older of the twins caught the attention of his two brothers again. He grabbed his satchel from the table and straightened his jacket. "You are gonna talk to her, and Harry and I are going to wait for you in the car." Sam winked at him before motioning to his twin to signal for them to leave the place.

"Don't be a movie star and talk to her." that was the last thing Harry said, patting Tom's shoulder and calling him by the nickname that so annoyed him.

The brown-haired man sat there for a moment with his eyes down, not knowing what to do. And to his bad luck, when he raised his eyes to look for you, you were gone.

Not knowing what to do, he quickly found Sebastian with Anthony and Chris, so he decided to send him a message.

Tom:

hey, mate.

Sebastian connected glances with Tom and grimaced that he didn't understand why he was texting him instead of approaching him. The Brit just pointed to his cell phone, implying to text him back.

Sebastian:

Tom:

c'mon

Sebastian:

I know what you're going to ask me

She's in her dresser

Don't be a dick, please, and if she doesn't want to talk to you, don't push her.

Tom:

I won't

thanks x

He didn't wait a second longer and got up from his place, heading quickly to the back stage area and crossing the long hallway to get to your dressing room.

He took a breath of air in front of the red door that had a small sign with your name on it. After a few seconds, he knocked four times.

"Come in!" you said, thinking it was Sebastian and when you heard the door open you spoke again. A cotton circle with makeup remover rubbing against your eye. "Are we leaving now, Seb? I thought that you wanted to talk to Anthony and Chris-" you spoke without paying much attention, until you turned your chair around and met brown eyes and not blue.

"Hey." Tom spoke timidly and raised his left hand to greet you. His lips formed a line.

"Tom, hey," you greeted him so as not to look rude. "What are you doing here?" you asked somewhat nervously, as you knew perfectly well why he was standing in front of you.

'"I just wanted to see you. Your show out there was amazing."

"Thank you." you thanked him with a forced smile and the room filled with silence for a moment.

"Do you think that we had everything back then, but we were too young?" your ex's question broke the silence. And it also broke the barrier of the past, letting all the memories come back.

"Tom, i-"

"Just say it." he said and knelt before you, taking your hands in his and connecting gazes.

His eyes were the same as always. The same ones full of love, and the same ones that shed tears the day you left London to start over in Boston.

"I do."

"And do you think that now we are old enough to make things right?" that question fell like a bucket of cold water, you didn't expect it at all and you didn't want to answer it.

You didn't want to because the answer was yes.

"I think so too," you closed your eyes and just let your feelings speak for you. "I think about it everyday. I think that if maybe if we had been mature enough back then, everything would have worked out correctly."

This was an intimate moment between the two of you, and you didn't need to be unclothed to see each other's nakedness. The two of you were baring your souls completely.

"But now we are old enough-"

"But it's not the same, Tom." a bittersweet smile formed on your face. You really wanted to try again, but you couldn't.

"It is the same, and i know it because," he paused and squeezed your right hand even tighter than before. "In the deep of my heart, i still know that you still drink ice coffee in the morning with exactly eight ice cubes. I still know that you always watch the same series because trying to watch new ones never works. I still know that after a concert you take two bottles of water for your throat and take a long nap for five or six hours. I still know that it bothers you that the sunlight comes through the window and hits you directly in the eyes, but still, your dream apartment has big windows."

"And I still know because over the years I never stopped loving you, and I am convinced that I never will." your heart twisted a little when you heard that he remembered every little detail of your life, and how true everything he had said about you was. Tom just remained silent, waiting for an answer from you.

"You know what?" you asked and a smirk formed on your face as you helped Tom up and you did the same. "My grandmother used to tell me the story of the red thread. The red thread binds two people together, and this can stretch, contract or tangle. But it's impossible for it to break."

"So, that means that you would try it again with me?" he asked with his voice full of illusion and put his hands on your waist, desperate to have contact with you.

"I will, yes. And better work this time, Holland." you teased him, running your hands around his neck so you could hug him properly.

"It will, i promise."

#tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #marvel #tom holland #oneshot #tom holland angst

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h2bakugou · 3 years

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Hi there. I want to make a request about Bakugou x Kind! Reader (they're not a couple yet). It's about the Cultural Festtival arc and I was thinking that Reader has talent with singing and dancing ballet, showing everyone what she can do for the festival. Some moves and everybody is choosing who's gonna the music part, Bakugou doesn't wanna be the drummer so she says with a sweet voice while holding his hand: "I know you can do it Katsuki-kun, so give it your best. I'm your biggest cheerleader" making him blush accepting to be the drummer. Also, she gives them a little demostration of her singing but she decides sing along with Jirou and maybe help the ones who are gonna dance.

Practicing was kind of easy 'cause she was cheering up everyone. Especially Bakugou talent with the drum. The beat was so tentative at the point that she wanted to dance.

I'm runing out of ideas at this point :( . The rest is up to you. I'll know it'll amazing

a/n: hi!! ooo this is cute! i love flustered bakugou so much omg

summary: the cultural festival is rapidly approaching and you’re excited to show what you have to offer. but you also help bakugou decide what he’s going to do.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

word count: 795

»»————-　★　————-««

The Cultural Festival was quickly approaching as your class prepared what they were going to do. And when it had been decided that a song and dance with super cool special effects was going to be what you were all doing, you were among the many that were excited.

You had a few talents you wanted to showcase, some that would work well with your classmates, especially Mina, who was looking for someone else with a dance background. You had some ballet experience and you amazed her with some of your moves.

Even more so, when looking for someone to sing, you decided to also showcase some of your singing, which shocked everyone.

“Who knew you could sing so good!” Mina cheered, admiring the talent you had. Jiro was also super excited, deciding that maybe a duet of sorts could be worked out for the two of you to sing together.

But when it came to deciding who was going to play what instrument, there was really only one choice for the drums.

Bakugou Katsuki.

Kaminari teased him about it seeming to be really hard, but it wasn’t until you used a bit of your own persuasion that got him to play a little drum solo.

“I know you can do it Katsuki-Kun, so give it your best! I’m your biggest cheerleader!” You smiled, encouraging him to do his best. The tips of his ears along with his cheeks burned a bright red color at your statement, as well as the warm feeling of your hand cupping his. He was so madly in love with you, he was begging to wish you’d say how you felt already. He wasn’t going to confess to you unless he knew for sure that you liked him back.

He was still waiting. He could assume how you felt, based on your actions, but he needed solid proof. He wasn’t about to embarrass himself by asking you out and you had just been friendly the whole time.

During practices, you would help out as much as you could, always finding a way to trail back to Bakugou and listen to him play. He was always doing his best, and it always sounded great, even when they were ‘struggling’ to come up with the right rhythm and beat for the song.

When the day came to get on stage, you were a little nervous. But this time, it was Bakugou who encouraged you to loosen up.

“You’ll do fine dumbass.” Bakugou had pulled you aside, resting his hand on your shoulder. You smiled and sucked in a breath before letting it out.

“Thank you.” You hugged him, wrapping your arms around him. It was sudden, and Bakugou stood frozen for a few seconds before hugging you back. Kirishima caught a glimpse of it and smiled to himself, watching as a relationship slowly formed between the two of you.

He’d placed a small bet that Bakugou was going to ask you out soon.

On stage and during your performance, you sang along with Jiro and then joined the dancers, creating a wonderful performance. It was amazing, and when you looked out at the crowd who were dancing and jumping with happiness, it made you feel good.

You knew everyone was enjoying it, even those who had tested you before the show had even been thought of. It was truly magical.

Cleanup was fun, even more so when you got to hang out with Bakugou a little more.

“We did so good.” You smiled, carrying some trash to the dumpster beside Bakugou.

“I told you we would, I don’t know why you were so nervous, dumbass.” Bakugou tossed his trash over the side before taking yours and tossing it. You bit your bottom lip and shoved your nerves aside, leaning and planting a small kiss on his cheek.

Bakugou blushed and groaned.

“Come on. We’ve got more to clean up.” Bakugou huffed, holding your hand for a few seconds on the walk back to the gym.

Kirishima eyed the two of you as you returned, noting how close you had been walking beside each other. More so, he watched your pinky leave Bakugou’s, almost like you had been holding his hand. Kirishima was getting closer to the truth, he had to tell someone.

He turned to Kaminari and began explaining.

“I think Bakugou and (Y/n) might be some sort of thing.” Kirishima whispered.

“Bakugou totally likes her, it’s so obvious.” Kaminari groaned, hanging his arms by his sides, tired from moving so much ice.

“You knew!?” Kirishima whisper-yelled.

“It’s obvious!” Mina and Sero joined. Bakugou gave the group a glare who in turn smiled and waved at him.

The group started laughing as Bakugou approached, it was going to be a long day.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

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natromanxoff · 3 years

Text

Queen live at Brendan Byrne Arena in East Rutherford, NJ, USA - August 9, 1982

(x)

This is an eventful US Hot Space show played to an arena that is far from full. In fact, a second night in East Rutherford was originally planned for August 10, but later moved to New Haven due to the low ticket sales.

Roger's voice is uncharacteristically hoarse tonight, and he struggles on some of his backing vocals in Somebody To Love.

Towards the end of his vocal exchange with the audience after Save Me, Freddie tells them, "I'm gonna make you sing like Aretha Franklin", like he did during Now I'm Here in Milton Keynes a couple months back. But this time he doesn't succeed, as he gives up after only one line. "I knew you were from New Jersey. You had to be. I mean, I've been listening to Gilda Radner. She's right!"

Brian starts Get Down Make Love (which segues into his solo spot) with his John Birch copy. A bit over three minutes into his solo spot he breaks a string, and soon turns off the analog delays, trying to make the best of the situation for a brief while (the other five strings go out of tune when you break a string on an electric guitar with floating tremolo, so one must hold the whammy bar down in a specific place for the guitar to remain in tune - not an easy task!). But he ultimately gives up, and takes the guitar off and hurls it over his stack of Vox cabinets (the one and only time he did this), snapping it in half. Some audience members watch in bewilderment as they have witnessed the normally gentle and soft-spoken May lash out in frustration. Others cheer the 'coolness' factor. A roadie, visible to the audience, picks up a piece of the Birch guitar and holds it up for a brief moment. The beleagured axeman then switches to his Flying V, and he and Roger (barely) finish the segment, not before that guitar, too, goes out of tune.

The next song is Body Language, and the front of house tech switches on Mercury's harmonizer a verse too early, giving "you got red lips" a bit too much redness.

Brian (who hasn't spoken much on stage on this tour since Love Of My Life was his usual speaking spot) says a few words after Under Pressure. "People of New Jersey, we seem like good friends. I tell you, we've seen you a lot of times. We've been around quite a while and we've done some strange things here and there. And now and again we've done a song which actually means something, and I think this is one of them. This is a song Freddie wrote for the last album. This is called Life Is Real." Queen performed the ballad only a few times.

After the song ends, Freddie asks, "How are we doing with the guitars?" He tells the audience, "I think tonight's the night we're gonna break as many guitars as we've got. If anybody in the audience has a spare guitar, bring it over here!" Someone in the audience replies, "I've got three!" He continues, "OK, we're gonna do a song that requires everybody on their feet, because I mean, you gotta... I know you guys are very cool and laid back, this is a really dirty song. You know, it comes from here." No doubt a crude gestitulation follows. "It's from the c*nt. It's called Fat Bottomed Girls!" Brian lets out a lot of aggression in the last couple minutes of the song, even playing some heavy syncopated lines before the final few bars.

Frustration abounds in Freddie as well, as he responds to a drone he (and everyone else) is hearing. "Before this next song, we'd like... what is that fucking noise? It's been driving me crazy all fucking night. I bet it's not doing you guys any good, either."

It takes a little while for the Red Special to be restrung, so Brian plays his Flying V for a few songs, according to a fan who attended the show (although Brian stated in a January 1983 interview that he acquired the Flying V *because* of this incident - but this claim is questionable, as pictures from last week's concert in Toronto reveal his Flying V on a guitar stand side stage). These few songs sound different with this new guitar tone - particularly the Bohemian Rhapsody solo. He would return with his beloved home-made guitar for the hard rock section of Bohemian Rhapsody, but he wouldn't fully regain his composure for the rest of the evening.

In the second verse of We Are The Champions, a flippant comment from Mercury sums up the evening: "It's been no bed of roses, I can tell you!"

A fan wrote to Brian at his Soapbox about this night:

"During the show you had problems with The Old Lady and came out with the Birch copy. Then the birch copy had some problems and you threw it and your roadie missed it I think because he held up something that looked like a broken Birch Guitar. You then played a good part of the concert on a Flying V. I remember wishing I had a camera to see you playing on the V. You played Life Is Real while repairs were being done. Freddie even joked if someone had an extra guitar to please bring it up. After the break in BORHAP you came back with the Old Lady."

Brian's reply:

"You evidently saw a special night ... the only night when I ever threw a guitar off stage in despair ! And, yes, I did hit the ground behind the stage - I'm pretty sure I thought I was throwing to someone, but evidently I misjudged it. And, yes, its neck snapped clean through. I kept it for a while, intending to get it fixed. But we decided it would probably never be good at staying in tune, because it wasn't a very rigid instrument. And not being able to get it in tune was what drove me to distraction that night, and this was what led to its demise! As I remember, this was on top of having problems with the Red Special in the beginning - in the heat of the moment, this was the final straw ! I imagine your bootleg of the show will reveal the problems I was having. These things usually make me feel ashamed, frustrated, angry, in the moment... I don't like giving people less than the best. So this picture really does tell a story ... a unique story. I wonder what happened to the Flying V ... As for the Birch guitar, well, we lent it to Guild, to compare, while they were making their Red specials under license in the 80's. Then we all forgot about it for many years. Then it turned up, and thanks to a friend (I think I told the story here) it now resides back with me. We have decided to keep it as it is, in pieces, just for historical interest, for the same reasons as before."

Brian has since reunited with the guitar, apparently after it was purchased on eBay. Its story and a couple pictures of it can be seen at Brian's website. It was repaired by Andrew Guyton, although it wasn't a complete restoration as Brian wanted to see exactly where he broke it.

The photo above was taken by Gary Gershoff. Here are a few pro photos from the show:

These photos were taken after the show, at a party in New York:

(x)

Fan Stories

“Queen played a great show, but when Brian started his Brighton Rock solo, he broke a string on "The Old Lady" and you could tell he was not happy. He actually threw that guitar at the stand and it fell over and me and my fellow RS/Brian/Queen fanatic buddy looked at each other in astonishment. He quickly was given the John Birch copy by his guitar tech and continued his solo. Well about two minutes go by and you could tell he was not happy with the Birch and then a string breaks on that guitar. He was on Deacons side of the stage and he runs over to his side towards his wall of Vox amps and hurls the guitar over the stack. His guitar tech brings out the Gibson Flying V and Brian finishes the solo. At the end of the solo the tech brings back "The Old Lady" restrung as Queen kicks back in. I believe at this point Brian was doing the solo in the middle of Now I'm Here. Some time between one of the next songs the Tech emerges from behind the stack to show Brian and the entire audience the result of Brians outrage as he holds up the two pieces of The John Birch. My friend and I looked at each other and knew we had just seen a bit of Queen history. From what I remember it was a case of the neck snapping off from the body. I remember a few months ago somehow the John Birch had turned up and Brian was curious about where and when it happened.” - Todd

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

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deathbyjoong · 3 years

Text

ATEEZ Wedding HCs

Each member x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, some slight suggestiveness

Note: I hope you guys like these! Let me know what you think! Shoutout to @bfyunho for being an angel and beta-ing for me 💕

Yunho

Your wedding will take place in a protected forest area on the West Coast in early October, with a large number of attendees at the ceremony and an even larger number of people at the reception

Yunho wears a classy white tux with a yellow lily nestled atop the lapel

You knew he was gonna be a giggly, blushy mess when he first saw you during the ceremony

But nothing prepares you for when you meet eyes with Yunho from the middle of the aisle

It’s like the world stops around you

Yunho is the only person in the world in that moment, with his eyes shining and his grin so wide you wonder if it hurts

He tries to play it cool when you get to the altar, but he can’t stop smiling. And you don’t want him to

He giggles in the middle of his vows and the whole audience goes aww

Listen he’s just a stupidly cute groom okay

When the officiant pronounces you husband and wife, he grabs you by the face and kisses you sweetly

You can feel his smile in the kiss, and you swear you feel the slightest bit of wetness beneath his eyes

The two of you hug as everyone claps, and Yunho parts from you with a soft kiss to your forehead

As the two of you walk back down the aisle together, he tries to cover his giddy laughter with a hand over his face but it’s so obvious that you’re the happiest two people in the world

The reception will take place on a nearby ranch, with an awesome DJ, open bar, and massive dance floor

Multicolor lights and lots of energy, with a special table up top for you and the groom to watch everyone make toasts

Yunho has an arm around your shoulders and the two of you watch fondly and laugh while people give toasts

Everyone in the wedding party will have flower crowns of yellow and white with green leaves, and you bet your ass Mingi is given an extra one so he can put it on Yunho at some point during the reception

Mingi doing a flower crown drive by and Yunho blushes but he looks so happy and handsome in his flower crown uwu

Especially because it matches your bouquet :(

When it’s time to leave, Yunho scoops you into his arms and carries you bridal-style (how else?) as everyone cheers and throws flower petals over you

You wave to everyone out of the window as Yunho drives the two of you to the airport, ready to begin the first of many adventures with his favorite girl

Mingi

Mingi has always been your summer sun, so of course it’s a summer wedding

The ceremony and reception are at a beachfront hotel, and you carry a rainbow of bright colors in your mixed bouquet

The flower that Mingi wears on his white tux is your favorite kind of the bunch, a pink dahlia that you picked out for him specially <3

It’s a beautiful scene, with ribbons hanging off of chairs, blowing softly in the wind

The soundtrack to your walk down the aisle is a simple string quartet along with crashing waves on the beach behind you

When Mingi first sees you walking toward him, he can’t help but let out a loud noise that sounds like something between a laugh and the word “wow”

He puts his hands over his mouth in embarrassment at his outburst, as the audience laughs along with you

Mingi tries to compose himself but just giggles in wonder at how he managed to land this gorgeous woman

Like he just cannot believe it

He gets emotional during the vows, and you can tell he’s a bit nervous about speaking even though he wrote these lines weeks ago and has been turning them over in his head ever since

You smile at him, hoping he can feel your love and encouragement

Mingi takes a moment to focus on you, just you

You mouth the words, I love you to him and his resolve returns

He finishes his vows with such conviction that you forget anyone is even watching--because these words are truly for you and only you

After rings are exchanged, you throw your arms around his neck and bring him to you for a kiss

It’s not one big kiss as much as many short kisses, because both of you are breathless and giggling

You practically skip down the aisle hand-in-hand, and Mingi is high-fiving everyone on the way out

The reception is a blast, with way too many people giving speeches, and more than half of those speeches centering around roasting you

But it’s all in good fun, and it’s a night full of laughter and celebration with all of your friends

You and Mingi are at the center of the main table, but you eventually get up and walk around together, greeting all of your guests and accepting gifts

Mingi keeps a hand on the small of your waist, making sure no one steps on your dress or bumps into you

This is also to keep himself calm, since he can get a little overwhelmed with all the activity and people buzzing around you both

His favorite part of the whole day is your first dance as newlyweds

He holds you close, and you whisper back and forth to each other as you sway slowly across the dance floor

He already knows this is gonna be the favorite moment of his entire life

Jongho

Jongho lets you choose almost all of the details of your venue and season, because he admittedly doesn’t understand all the fuss and he just wants you to have the perfect day

So it’s a fall sunset at a winery, because that’s been your dream setting since you were a girl

The vineyard looks stunning against the backdrop of autumn foliage, and even Jongho is impressed

In keeping with the autumnal theme, your accent color is maroon

You know Jongho thinks he looks best in red-based colors, so you gifted him a maroon silk tie to wear with his suit. The bridesmaids’ dresses and groomsmen’s ties are the same shade, and everyone looks gorgeous

You fully expected Jongho to keep a completely straight face during your walk down the aisle--the man isn’t always forward with his emotions

You were wrong, however

Jongho can’t help the adorable, gummy smile on his face when he first sees you walking to him

As you get nearer, you can just make out the faintest tinge of pink in his cheeks

He’s trying so hard not to be shy, but you’re so beautiful in your dress that he can’t help but feel like he’s seeing you for the first time

He has to look briefly at the ground to compose himself when you finally stand in front of him, shining like the sun

He doesn’t take his eyes off you a single time after that, beaming at you the whole way through through the vows

One of your family members is audibly weeping in the front row at how in love you both look

Jongho wastes no time in kissing you after you’re pronounced married, and can’t help but throw his arms around your waist and pick you up

The reception is an absolute blast, taking place that evening in a clearing that’s been set up with tables and twinkle lights

The one set of details you did leave to Jongho was the food and drinks, because his taste is, objectively, just better than yours

Jongho chose filet mignon with vegetables (much to San’s dismay) and a wine menu full of exquisite pairings (much to Seonghwa’s delight)

You cut the wedding cake together, and you can’t resist smearing some icing across Jongho’s cheek

He responds by sticking some on your nose, and everyone laughs with you

Wooyoung gives a hilarious speech that turns out to be quite sentimental and lovely, making you blush and bury your face in Jongho’s shoulder

When it’s time to make your exit, Jongho scoops you up and sings to you, all while nearly skipping to the gravel driveway, where a car is waiting for you

His laughter is music in your ears, and you feel the strongest happiness you’ve ever known--safe in his arms, knowing he’ll never drop you

Yeosang

It’s a summer afternoon when you meet your man at the altar, although the altar isn’t quite that--

The ceremony takes place in the gardens of an upscale hotel, with beautiful flowers blooming all around you. The “altar” is actually an archway decorated in red and white blooms and ivy fronds

Yeosang is wearing a classy black suit with a red tie, the same red of the roses in your bouquet and flower crown

His hair is blonde (his summer look) and slicked back. He almost looks prettier than you, truly the statuesque Kang Yeosang that his brothers always gush about

It’s not a huge ceremony, with the audience numbering no more than about eighty people--just close friends and family members deemed worthy

You’re in a simple but elegant dress, and it almost knocks the wind out of poor Sangie when he sees you at the end of the aisle

At first, his mouth just hangs open as you glide towards him, accompanied by the lilting music of a string quartet

He manages to gather his jaw off the floor and grins at you when you stand in front of him, blushing furiously

The officiant gestures for the two of you to join hands right away, and Yeosang takes yours with a small “hi”, which you return with a giggle

He gets through the vows just fine, but when you say yours, he fails to suppress a smile. He tries so hard to keep a straight face but just can’t bc he’s so giddy

When you’re pronounced Mr. and Mrs., he leans in and kisses you softly, giving your hands a gentle squeeze

He doesn’t let go of you for a single moment, even when his friends slap him on the back during your walk back down the aisle, hollering loudly and making him laugh

In the interest of keeping things lowkey, the reception is a cocktail hour (or four) in an event hall inside the hotel

The first dance is beautiful-- no complicated steps, just the two of you embracing as everyone looks on fondly

The music is curated by Yeosang himself, with Hongjoong’s help, and the drinks are flowing freely

A couple of hours pass and everyone is good and tipsy--including yourselves

It’s a good thing the event hall is spacious, because at one point, almost everybody is dancing

Sang spins you around on the dancefloor when he’s feeling brave, and you’re having so much fun that you don’t realize the time is flying

When it’s time to leave, people start whistling, and Yeosang is nearly the same color as his tie

He hides his face in your shoulder, and you cover his face with kisses

After saying your goodbyes to everyone, you whisper something to Yeosang, and he nods with a giggle

As requested, he carries you piggy-back to the car, as everyone waves you off

Seonghwa

We know Seonghwa comes from wealth, and the man is extra af, so of course the wedding is extravagant

It’s a winter wedding that takes place at a mountain resort, and pretty much everyone you or Seonghwa have ever known is in attendance

Your groom is in a black tux with an silver tie, and the bridesmaids are wearing dresses of icy blue

You do a pre-ceremony reveal in a side hall, partly because you want a moment alone amidst the madness, and partly because the two of you can’t wait to see each other

Seonghwa almost cries when he turns around and sees you in your dress and the pearls that he gave you

You giggle, fighting back tears, and walk up to him slowly

Hwa’s got one hand over his mouth, and the other pressed over his heart, and only moves them when you’re close enough to touch

He just holds your face in his hands and presses your foreheads together

You’re both smiling and laughing, even through the tears that are now falling freely

You hang onto his shoulders for as long as you can before your maid of honor tells you it’s time to get moving

The ceremony takes place in the grand atrium, with massive windows revealing the soft snowfall and forests outside

You walk down the aisle confidently and quickly, ready to just marry this man already

When the officiant announces Mr. and Mrs. Park, you don’t hesitate to put your hands on his shoulders and kiss him

Seonghwa holds your waist and the back of your head, keeping you close. It’s a sweet, passionate kiss that’s over in a matter of seconds but leaves you dizzy nonetheless

The reception takes place immediately after, in a grand hall decorated with flowers and lights everywhere

You and your husband are seated at the head table in the reception hall, which is perfect because you’re in your own little world anyway

Hwa gets really excited about feeding you pieces of the wedding cake, gently wiping icing from your lips between bites

During the toasts and speeches, he keeps kissing your hand and smiling to himself

Of course, you have to end the night on a high note--the traditional bouquet toss!

All the bridesmaids and eligible ladies are gathered at the foot of the grand staircase, giggling with excitement and pushing a little here and there to get the clearest shot

But you toss the bouquet with a little more force than you meant to, and it goes over all of them

Yeosang happens to be walking along after just having gotten himself some more food, and catches the bouquet without meaning to

He looks at the flowers in his hand, bewildered, as you and Hwa cackle above, and the ladies in the crowd look more than a little disappointed

Seonghwa never lets him live it down, giggling every time he brings it up

It’s more joy than Hwa thinks he deserves, but he’s unbelievably grateful for each moment

Wooyoung

You and Wooyoung have a spring wedding in a botanical greenhouse with a moderate number of guests in attendance

The greenhouse is massive, and filled with every kind of orchid you could imagine from floor to ceiling

It’s a cool, cloudy day out, so the greenhouse isn’t too hot. But light still spills in and illuminates all the colorful flowers

Wooyoung is waiting for you at the altar of rich green leaves and soft pink orchids (one of which has been plucked and pinned to his lapel)

He’s wearing a bowtie, one that he proudly picked himself because he thought you would like it, and a snazzy pair of shoes that he’ll be able to dance in later

When you emerge during the ceremony, the sight of you in your dress immediately brings tears to his eyes

Wooyoung wipes his eyes, but still sniffles a bit through his vows. If you weren’t so giddy, you would probably be doing the same

The officiant finishes his part and begins to announce, “I now pronounce you--”

He doesn’t get to finish, because Woo gets too excited and launches himself at you, grabbing you by the face and kissing you as everyone breaks into laughter

You throw your arms around his shoulders, kissing him back as best you can while giggling

It’s not a wedding for Wooyoung if the reception isn’t LIT

It takes place under a large outdoor hall, with an open bar, disco lights, and so, so much dancing

The first dance is the only slow dance of the night, and the two of you spend the rest of the songs swinging around wildly on the dancefloor with all your closest friends

He does a choreographed dance with the boys to an upbeat song of his choice, making sure to be extra cheesy when pointing at you and lip-syncing to you

Cutting the cake is a hot mess, but in the best way

You and your new husband nearly end up starting a food fight, but let’s be honest, what did anyone expect from Wooyoung and his girl

You get a little bit of icing on his tux, and he gets a little bit on your shoulder (which he offers to remove with his mouth if the two of you can sneak off)

You playfully smack him on the arm, but the idea is lowkey tempting

You’re mildly nervous when Yeosang gets up to make his Best Man’s speech, but Wooyoung assures you that he’s not gonna say anything too embarrassing

He does roast the two of you a little for being so loudly in love with each other, but he also makes both you and your new mother-in-law cry when he recounts the moment Wooyoung first told him he wanted to marry you

You hadn’t heard that story before, so when you glance over at Woo with tears in your eyes, he wraps you in a big hug and kisses your cheeks

You cling to him like velcro after that, which is fine, because he loves every second of it and returns the affection without a second thought

Inwardly, he hopes you’ll hold each other like this every day for the rest of your lives

San

You and San share a taste for all things modern, sexy, and sleek, so nothing makes more sense than a spring wedding on a city rooftop

Lavender is the obvious accent color choice for both of you, as purple has long been San’s favorite, and you think it suits both of you well

San is waiting at the end of the aisle for you wearing a classy grey suit, lavender tie, and the widest smile you’ve ever seen on him

The sun is setting over the city skyline, but in San’s eyes, it rises and sets on you alone

You carry a bouquet of lavender flowers, and a few are tucked into your hair

Your heart is pounding in your chest, but the sight of San, handsome and grinning, gives you the boost you need to keep moving

San says his vows without a hitch, but you get nervous while reciting yours-- there are a lot of people staring at you, and the pressure gets to you a little

When you stutter over your words, you catch yourself and look up at San, eyes wide

But he’s your rock, your mountain-- steadfast and gentle with you even when you’re not gentle with yourself

“You’re doing amazing,” he whispers to you, quiet enough that no one else can hear

His kind eyes and easy smile comfort you immeasurably, and you finished your vows with a renewed confidence

Upon hearing “You may now kiss the bride”, San wraps one arm around your waist and holds one of your hands with the other, kissing you sweetly as your guests erupt into applause

The applause turns to cheers and whistles when San whirls you around and dips you low, holding you in the kiss while he adds the extra flourish

The reception is just as perfect as the ceremony. It’s a roaring party set against the glittering backdrop of city lights, and lit throughout with twinkling lanterns

There are games, trivia, good music, and plenty of lively conversations

You and San make the rounds, making sure to greet all of your guests and thank them for attending, giving gifts, etc.

At one point you get separated, but you meet his gaze through the crowd

San is looking at you with so much love that you have to excuse yourself from your conversation with a family member and stroll over to him

Throwing your arms around him, and feeling his go around you, you kiss him once more and nuzzle your face into his neck

He holds you there for a moment, smiling to himself and basking in the moment-- trying to memorize every detail of it

It seems San isn’t just the winner of the day for having married you--he manages to kick everyone’s ass at limbo even while being a little tipsy

Afterwards, he returns to you with puppy dog eyes, and demands his prize-- “a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the world”.

You’re more than happy to give it to him, continuing the kiss even as someone whoops

You smile against his lips knowing that, despite what San may think, the luckiest person in the world is actually you

Hongjoong

You’ve always wanted marry the love of your life in an art museum

Hongjoong’s appreciation and love of art runs deep, so he agrees right away

You book the venue for springtime, when it’s bright and golden and still a little bit cool outside--your favorite time of year

Joong is in a neat, grey suit with a patterned bow tie that you picked out-- it’s mostly green, but with a quirky pattern that he loves

He gave you something as well-- before you even picked out your dress, Hongjoong made you promise not to buy wedding shoes

You were confused, but trusted him

Two weeks before the wedding, he hands you a box. In it, are a pair of designer shoes that he drew on and painted, customizing them just for you

They’re beautiful--not too plain but not too much either, and you cry when you first open them. Hongjoong blushes, pleased that you love them so much

The ceremony is in the Grand Gallery, with a glass ceiling and high walls covered in priceless masterpieces

You glide down the aisle with confidence and ease--seeing Joong at the end of it makes you feel like you’re walking on air

He whispers, “You look beautiful” when you reach him, and you reply, “You too.”

You’re wearing the shoes that he reformed for you, and they peek out from the hem of your dress

He gets misty-eyed during his vows, pausing for a second to breathe because he’s so overwhelmed with love. You respond by reaching up and brushing his cheek

He smiles at you, pure and sweet, and continues. The vows are beautifully written, eloquent, and poignant

But then again, you already knew everything he touches turns to gold

You make him cry again when you read your vows, and you get emotional a bit yourself as well

His hands are shaking when he puts the ring on your finger because he’s so excited-- you’ve both looked forward to this day for so long, and you can’t believe it’s happening

You hear a loud sniffle and look over at the audience to see Seonghwa and San holding each other and weeping in the audience

You can only giggle for a second before you’re announced as husband and wife

It’s a sweet and simple kiss, just the two of you holding each other close

Joong has his hands on your cheeks, and yours are on his shoulders

He nuzzles your nose after the kiss, just an affectionate brush accompanied by the smile that you love more than anything

Your first dance is to an orchestral version of “Twilight”, which he helped to rearrange

You rest your head on Hongjoong’s shoulder, and just watch his face as the two of you sway to the lilting music

His eyes are closed, and he looks completely at peace. The corners of his mouth are turned up slightly, and his hand is splayed across your back, holding you close

You press a kiss to his neck, and he does the same to your forehead

It’s heaven on earth, and you pray to anyone who’s listening that it lasts forever

#ateez #ateez hcs #ateez headcanons #hcs #writing #my writing #seonghwa #hongjoong #jongho #yunho #yeosang #mingi #wooyoung #san #fluff

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fangirl-ramblings · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Charles Smith x Female Readee

Word Count: 3222

Summary: Love is in the air around camp, but has Cupid's arrow somehow missed you and Charles?

Notes: The fluffiest of fluff, Reader POV / Charles POV

This @rdr-secret-cupid gift is for one of my favourite people - @12timetraveler. My sincere apologies for this Valentine's / birthday present being so late, but hopefully it's well worth the wait 😘

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

Cupid's Arrow

Reader's POV

14th Feb 1899

You looked around to see Dutch sitting in his tent, whispering sweet nothings to Miss O'Shea while Sean was trying his hardest to win over Karen, whose icy demeanour was starting to thaw with each passing drink he was plying her with. Hell, even John had had a little too much to drink and summoned the courage to pick a small posy of flowers and present them to Abigail as a small Valentine's gift.

You liked seeing the camp happy like this, all relaxed in each other's company; the likes of Javier and Tilly sitting next to each other as the former strummed on his guitar and filled the air with a sweet melody, or young Mary-Beth, enjoying the latest romance novel she acquired, only to tear her eyes away from the page to gaze lovingly towards an oblivious Arthur before continuing her story.

And while Micah's grumbling about it "not bein' right, someone like him talkin' to a fiiinnnne woman like her," as he watched young Lenny saying something to make Jenny giggle from across the way, was enough to for everybody to tell him to shut up, it certainly wasn't enough to dampen the mood around the place.

It was even nice to see Miss Grimshaw laugh and smile as she joined the older camp members in their reminiscences about previous Valentine's days with their own past loves, soon followed by raucous singing of filthy songs but as you took your makeshift seat of a crate at the poker table, you couldn’t but help feel Cupid’s arrow had struck everyone and somehow bypassed you.

You had secretly hoped that Charles would have joined in with the party, but the minute Dutch wound up his gramophone Charles had disappeared into the woods to take his position on guard duty.

While you'd taken many opportunities to try to make conversation and try to get to know him better over the last few months, you still found him to be a man of few words - but you liked that about him. The camp was full enough of loud-mouthed characters like Sean and Uncle that any moment you found yourself sitting in a comfortable silence with Mr. Smith was bliss.

As the night drew on and more and more alcohol was heartly consumed by all, you felt your eyes growing heavy and couldn’t summon the energy to sing along with the lyrics of “The Louisville Maid”.

"Well as fun as this is, I'm gonna call it a night," you announced to your campmates, knowing full well that nobody was really listening. You sighed as they were caught up in their merriment and headed towards your tent… only to walk straight into Charles.

"Whoa, careful there," he told you, giving you a small smile as he placed those big, strong hands of his upon your arms to help stop you from falling over on the spot.

Your face burned as you felt your face grow redder and with each passing second as you enjoyed his gentle but firm touch, causing you to look away to avoid staring into those beautiful, deep brown eyes of his. You hoped that he thought your flushed appearance was a result of all the alcohol running through your veins and not the thought currently running through your mind; what it would be like if he suddenly dipped and kissed you with a fervent passion?

"Sorry Charles, I… I… I hadn't realised you'd finished your shift already. Want a drink?"

"I'm okay, thank you, I was gonna try and get some sleep… and I think you should too - big day tomorrow isn't it?" Your brow furrowed as you tried to rack your brain. Had you arranged to go on a job and completely forgot? Charles watched you, with a confused look. "Oh, I thought you'd mentioned the other day that it was your birthday? Maybe I got it wrong?"

"Oh my word, yes it is," you gasped in wonderment, "I can't believe you remembered."

"Guess I just have a good memory for special occasions," he grinned, brushing a loose hair from your face without thinking, making you weak at the knees.

He cleared his throat and moved his hand away. "Well we best both go get some shut eye before the sun comes up. Good night and sweet dreams."

You watched him walk to his tent, before heading to your own. Still smiling to yourself, you drew the flaps shut and fell on the cot, relieving that brief moment you just had with Charles over and over as you closed your eyes and let sleep wash over you.

15th Feb 1899

As the sun beamed through the gaps of your tent, you woke up to a very different camp atmosphere compared to the night before. It was eerily quiet; with everybody still in bed, sleeping off the hangovers they'd given themselves at the party.

Deciding to make the most of having a quiet camp all to yourself, you sat yourself up and stretched - your muscles and joints aching in a way that made you laugh. Another year older today and your body was certainly reminding you of that fact with all the aches and pains you suddenly started feeling.

A part of you doubted anybody else would be able to remember that today was your birthday but you smiled as you saw Mary-Beth hadn't forgotten; she'd wrapped a romance novel with one of her ribbons and left it on your trunk. Next to it was a little handwritten note from her, wishing you a very happy birthday and how "the way the heroine in this story reminds me of how you act around Charles, maybe if you read it you'll end up with your true love too. x"

You playfully rolled your eyes; ever the romantic, Mary-Beth had seen you gazing at Charles one day and decided you were destined to be together.

Pulling on some fresh clothes, you stepped outside and made your way towards the coffee pot, presuming nobody would have thought to wash it out and prepare it ready for the morning. Yet, to your surprise, you lifted it up to find it freshly brewed and still piping hot.

“I figured everybody would be wanting some when they woke up,” Charles chuckled, walking behind you carrying some logs for the campfire.

“I’d say; seems they all had a lot to celebrate,” you laughed, pouring yourself a cup. “You want one?” you asked, offering Charles the filled mug currently in your hand.

“I’m okay thanks, I had one before I made a start on tidying the place up.”

“Oh trust me, I wouldn’t worry too much about that today - Grimshaw will have such a headache, she'll be far more focused on getting all the quieter jobs done," you giggled knowing from previous experience how badly Susan seemed to suffer from next morning hangovers.

He carefully placed the chopped wood next to the campfire before turning his attention back to you. "Oh I bet," he grinned, his eyes twinkling. "Actually, I have an idea that might help keep camp running smoothly and stop people grumbling.'

"Oh?" Curiosity had gotten the best of you and you were intrigued to know what he was thinking.

"I saw supplies were running low and was thinking of doing some hunting later… a good hearty stew might be what the others need to recover," rushing his words out before casting his eyes to the ground. "I, erm… I was wondering if you wanted to join me?"

"What? Because I'm the only other person sober enough to safely use a weapon right now?" you teased.

"That's one reason, but I'd also like some good company."

You stood gobsmacked as he turned away from you, quickly making his way over to Taima, pulling something from her saddle.

"I… I'd like to spend time with you too, but I'm afraid my pistol is no good for hunting." You hung your head in disappointment, mentally kicking yourself that this could be your one chance to be alone with the man you'd admired for all these months - and you've lost it because you never took the time to invest in decent hunting equipment.

"I can help you with that," Charles told you, pulling out an ornate looking bow and handing it to you. "I made it… for your birthday."

"For me?" Shocked by his act of kindness, you traced your fingers over each of the detail engravings that ran along each of the limbs, tears starting to cloud your vision. "This is beautiful, but are you sure you mean to give this to me?"

"Of course… a beautiful bow for a beautiful lady.” A sudden flash of fear crossed Charles’ eyes as he realised what he had just said, his body tensing.

"You… think I'm beautiful?" Your eyes looking deep into his, searching for the truth.

He nodded. "The most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. If it's too awkward, we can just forget the hunting…"

He stopped mid-sentence as you kissed his cheek, his body relaxing as he realised he hadn't made a mistake in telling you.

"It's not awkward at all, I've liked you for a long time but I could never work out if the feeling is mutual." You gently thumbed his cheek, "Let's go on this hunting trip and talk about this in private shall we?" You suggested as you signaled for Charles to see what you could see.

Stood behind him was a small audience of John and Mary-Beth, both of whom were grinning over to you both.

Charles playfully rolled his eyes and walked you away from their gaze.

"Sounds like a good idea, wanna head out now?"

"Lead the way Mr. Smith." You held out your hand and he gladly took hold.

"Oh wait, you'll need some of these too" he reached back into his saddle to hand you a bunch of arrows… only to be confused as he heard you laughing.

"What's so funny?" Charles asked, trying to read your expression.

"Nothing… just looks like Cupid's arrows found me after all."

Charles' POV

14th Feb 1899

“I’ll take over here if you want,” John grumbled, clutching his face as he approached where Charles was currently taking up guard duty in the wooded area on the outskirts of camp. “I reckon my Valentine's night is as good as over.”

Charles turned to face his campmate, the moonlight showing a fresh red looking handprint across John's cheek. "You blew it with Abigail then?"

"Yep, I pushed my luck just a little too much," John chuckled lightly, "But I'm sure I'll survive. Go on, you go enjoy yourself… I saw [y/n] looking all lonesome up there, she could probably do with some company."

John waggled his eyebrows as Charles pretended to scowl; alcohol had given him loose lips one night and he had ended up confiding in Arthur and John about his feelings about the camp lady he'd taken a shine to. But he couldn’t hold the expression for long as a smile crept over his lips he thought about you.

"I'll probably just get some shut-eye instead, but I have been busy making this for her." He lifted up a beautiful bow that was resting against a nearby trunk. "It's her birthday tomorrow and she mentioned once she'd be interested in learning to hunt properly."

"You're a big old softie, ain't you Charles Smith?" John chuckled. "Well, I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought."

“Don’t you go ruining my reputation, John,” he laughed, making his way to the clearing where all the gang's horses grazed peacefully.

Taima looked up, nickering as she saw her owner nearby.

“Just a passing visit for now girl, but we can go out on a ride tomorrow,” he whispered to her, stroking her neck as she nuzzled against him. “In the meantime, I want you to keep this safe for me.” Charles lifted his saddle onto the hitching post that Taima was attached to, and carefully placed the bow into the holster on it. She watched her owner with curiosity, her ears pricking up as heard Charles rummaging in his saddlebag to retrieve an apple to reward his trusted Appaloosa for her loyalty.

The music was still playing as he walked back into camp, only this time it was Pearson’s accordion and Uncle’s banjo that filled the air as Miss Grimshaw sang a bawdy song. It was clear that the party wasn't ending anytime soon, but that wasn't going to stop Charles from trying to get some sleep. Heading towards his tent, he found himself looking around for a quick glance of his heart's desire, only for you to crash straight into him.

"Whoa, careful there," he told you, gently placing his hands upon your arms to help stop you from falling over on the spot. He could have swore he felt a jolt of electricity flowing through his veins as his skin touched yours.

"Sorry Charles, I… I… I hadn't realised you'd finished your shift already. Want a drink?"

"I'm okay thank you, I was gonna try and get some sleep… and I think you should too - big day tomorrow isn't it?" A flash of confusion crossed your face and Charles began to doubt himself. "Oh, I thought you'd mentioned the other day that it was your birthday? Maybe I got it wrong?"

"Oh my word, yes it is," you gasped in wonderment. "I can't believe you remembered."

"Guess I just have a good memory for special occasions," he grinned, brushing a loose hair from your face without thinking, before catching himself and moving his hand away.

Not really wanting the moment to be over but knowing he must tear himself away lest he stay admiring you all night, he cleared his throat.

"Well we best both go get some shut eye before the sun comes up. Good night and sweet dreams."

Making the short walk back to his own tent, his heart soared as he thought back over your reaction to him remembering your birthday. Now he couldn’t wait to see how you would react to your present.

Settling on his bed roll, he watched you draw your tent closed before allowing himself finally sleep and dream of you.

Charles found himself waking at the crack of dawn, just as the last few stragglers were stumbling towards their bedrolls . Realising he could effectively have the tranquillity of camp to himself, he gladly jumped up and set about getting ready for a new day.

Firstly he made his way over to Pearson’s wagon to grab a few coffee beans and started brewing a fresh pot. Noticing the meat supplies were running dangerously low, Charles made a mental note to go out hunting later and wondered if this could be the ideal opportunity to ask the birthday girl to join him.

While he waited for that certain someone to wake up, he had already stoked the fires back to life and disposed of the empty bottles that were scattered all around camp before finally enjoying a short break with a fresh cup of coffee.

It wasn't until he had made a start on chopping wood he had heard footsteps behind him and smiled to himself as he looked over to see [y/n] making her way over to the coffee pot.

“I figured everybody would be wanting some when they woke up,” Charles chuckled, walking up to her with an armful of logs for the campfire.

“I’d say; seems they all had a lot to celebrate,” she laughed in that sweet way that made Charles’ feel all warm inside as she poured a cup. “You want one?” asking as she offered the mug in her hand towards him.

“I’m okay thanks, I had one before I made a start on tidying the place up," he explained, walking over towards where the chopped wood was to be stored.

“Oh trust me, I wouldn’t worry too much about that today - Grimshaw will have such a headache, she'll be far more focused on getting all the quieter jobs done,"

Charles chuckled as he carefully placed the firewood down before realising this was his chance and turned his attention back to you.

"Oh I bet," grinning with a twinkle in his eyes. "Actually, I have an idea that might help keep camp running smoothly and stop people grumbling.'

"Oh?" you asked, tilting your head with curiosity.

He had noticed in the past that each time you asked a question about something that had piqued your interest, you would often tilt your head in this way and found it utterly adorable.

"I was thinking of doing some hunting later… a good hearty stew might be what the others need to recover," Charles rushed his words out before looking away bashfully. "I, erm… I was wondering if you wanted to join me?"

"What? Because I'm the only other person sober enough to safely use a weapon right now?" she smirked, and he felt his insides flip-flop. She was so damn beautiful.

"That's one reason, but I'd also like some good company," he told her, quickly turning to go fetch the bow from Taima’s saddle.

"I… I'd like to enjoy your company too, but I'm afraid my pistol is no good for hunting." She lowered her head in what seemed to be disappointment.

"I can help you with that," Charles told her, carefully placing the bow in her hands. "I made it….for your birthday."

"For me?" He watched as she traced her fingers over the engravings he spent so much time on, hoping the tears brimming in her eyes were because she was overjoyed. "This is beautiful… but are you sure it's for me?"

"Of course… a beautiful bow for a beautiful lady.” He kicked himself inwardly for saying it aloud,

"You… think I'm beautiful?" Your eyes looking deep into his, searching for the truth.

He nodded. "The most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. If it's too awkward, we can just forget the hunting…"

He stopped mid-sentence as you kissed his cheek. The feeling of embarrassment replaced by one feeling like he could soar into the sky right now.

"It's not awkward at all, I've liked you for a long time but I could never work out if the feeling is mutual." Gently thumbing his cheek, you suggested, "Let's go on this hunting trip and talk about this in private shall we?"

He followed your gaze to see Mary-Beth and John grinning at you both as they stood by their tents.

Playfully rolling his eyes, Charles guided you away from their gaze.

"Sounds like a good idea, wanna head out now?"

"Lead the way Mr. Smith." You held out your hand and he gladly took hold.

"Oh wait, you'll need some of these too" he reached back into his saddle to hand you a bunch of arrows… only to be confused as he heard you laughing.

"What's so funny?" Charles asked, hoping thewhole entire moment wasn't a set up so camp could make fun of him

"Nothing… just looks like Cupid's arrows found me after all"

#fangirl writes #charles smith x f!reader #charles smith x female reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr secret cupid 2021 #fluff

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years

Text

Stuck in reverse - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Okay, let’s talk about it!

Sam Smith – Fix you

I remember crying to the original song (by Coldplay) back in 2005. Whoo boy, lots of teenage feelings!

I’m not the biggest fan of Sam Smith’s music, but one day I was just driving home from work and this song began playing on the radio and by the end of it I could barely see the road.

// When you try your best, but you don’t succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? //

That one line – stuck in reverse – felt just so perfect for a story set in the universe where people invert themselves back and forth.

It became one of the three main songs that inspired me to write the whole damn thing, and also the only title in the story that is not a title of a song as well.

Chapter 1: Ben Platt – Ease my mind

This is one of the songs I have on my daily playlist, I just love it, and the lyrics are so fitting:

//Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest There are thoughts that I can’t put to rest There’s a worry that I can’t place

Most nights, I am restless and quiet won’t come So I lay there and wait for the sun There’s a trouble that won’t show its face

You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice//

We learn more about the nightmares in the next chapters, but it all starts here. That melancholic vibe stuck with me for the rest of the story I guess.

Bonus song: Lewis Capaldi - Before you go

The combat scene in one song, or at least what I imagined was going through Reader’s mind at that point.

//I fell by the wayside like everyone else I hate you, I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself Our every moment, I start to replace ‘Cause now that they’re gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say When you hurt under the surface Like troubled water running cold Well, time can heal but this won’t//

Have you ever felt that way? Trying to hide your broken heart under anger? I don’t know, it just resonated deeply.

The second part of the song kinda seeped into the next chapter:

//Was there something I could’ve said To make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather

//Would we be better off by now If I’d have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we’ll never know//

Chapter 2: Kaleo - I can’t go on without you

Another song from my daily playlists (side note – I saw Kaleo once live on a music festival and they were mind-blowing, you should really check out more of their work).

It worked with the story because of its desperate and painful mood.

Bonus: Calum Scott - Dancing on my own

Holy shit, I FELT this one. (Been there, done that). Of course I had to write it into Reader’s past. Actually, I wrote it first and then found the song, but it doesn’t matter, that’s the flashback scene right here:

//Somebody said you got a new friend Does she love you better than I can? And there’s a big black sky over my town I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around And yeah, I know it’s stupid But I just gotta see it for myself I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? And I’m giving it my all //

Chapter 3: Billie Eilish – Bad guy

No feels, pure bop. This song is so BADASS, I really needed to get that vibe into the undercover mission, I didn’t want Reader to be an emotional mess and nothing else, you know?

Bonus: Tones and I – Dance Monkey

I shit you not, I’ve had that one on repeat for the dance scene. There is something incredibly seductive in that beat, I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

Bonus: Kings of Leon – Closer

It just makes my heart clench and leaves me breathless.

Chapter 4: Ben Platt – Bad habit

Ah, that was the moment when I cursed at myself for using Ease my mind for chapter 1, but we already talked about it.

Even though this song is very emotional, it’s not that heartbreaking, you can hear a faint smile here and there and it just makes my heart sing.

And oh my god, those lyrics:

//You always said that I’d come back to you again ‘Cause everybody needs a friend, it’s true Someone to quiet the voices in my head Make ‘em sing to me instead, it’s you Hate to say that I love you Hate to say that I need you Hate to say that I want you But I do Bad habit, I know But I’m needin’ you right now Can you help me out? Can I lean on you? Been one of those days Sun don’t wanna come out Can you help me out? Can I lean on you?//

They just work with that plot, you know?

Bonus: Dodie – Sick of losing soulmates

Another song that just resonates with the story.

//What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be If you hadn’t found me, sitting all alone in the dark A dumb screenshot of youth Watch how a cold broken teen Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof

What the hell would I be, without you (what the hell would I be) Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

'Cause I’m sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you’re as fucked up as me So how do we win?//

Chapter 5: Adele – Someone like you

The whole damn sunset scene + this song on repeat = feels

The pain in her voice? God, it just reduces me to a puddle of tears.

Reader could just sing it at some point to Neil almost word for word.

Bonus: Passenger – Let her go

Okay, the case of that one is quite funny, because I kinda needed to figure out how to get from point A to point B of the chapter, and I was browsing Spotify looking for „campfire songs” or something like that. Of course I’ve heard this one before, but I’ve never actually focused on the lyrics.

And oh boy, suddenly it all became clear.

Headcanon time – in my head, Wheeler and Neil are close friends, she treats him a bit like a younger brother, I just can imagine they know each other very well at that point. Of course she knows hows about his past. Of course she heard about Reader. And she thinks they are both silly babies and they should just kiss, right? That’s why she chooses that song.

Those lyrics – they fit Neil’s backstory so damn well.

//Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go//

And he was stupid enough to let her go. Because his timing was off.

Those lyrics are also perfect to make Reader think about his ex-girlfriend, because of course that is what you’re gonna it’s all about.

Bonus: Del Amitri – Tell her this

Ahh, there it is – the second out of three main songs for Stuck in Reverse.

I remember the moment I found out that Rob Pattinson sings and writes music, then I listened to some of the songs and my heart went whoooosh. So I just had to make Neil play a guitar, I just needed to find out what song would be The One.

Do you remember that flashback about them both watching a tv show on his couch? Here, you’re welcome.

I recently started rewatching Scrubs and when I got to that episode – ding, ding, ding!

This is the ultimate “hey, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m an idiot and I love you.”

Chapter 6: Imagine Dragons – Next to me

I adore that song. It warms my heart. I think it fits Neil and Reader’s relationship.

And I needed all the fluffy feelings to switch the tone of the story to something lighter.

Bonus: Michelle Branch – Everywhere

This one is a silly bop, and it always puts me in a good mood. A nice song to listen to when you are happy, in love, and you are making breakfast.

Bonus: Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of me

This one (same as the one before) came to me from Zach Braff’s workout playlist, haha. I mean I almost forgot about it, but it makes me smile every time I hear it, and the lyrics work nicely:

//On a Monday I am waiting Tuesday I am fading And By Wednesday I can’t sleep Then the phone rings I hear you And the darkness is a clear view Cause you’ve come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts

It seems like I can finally Rest my head on something real I like the way that feels It’s as if you know me better Than I ever knew myself I love how you can tell All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me//

Bonus: Kaleo – I want more

Is there such a thing as a warm melancholy? Because that is a vibe I get from that song.

//Turn back, leave all you had Forgive, I’ll forget 'Cause what we need is what we once had Time won’t stand still Just say you will 'Cause I need you there and now

If you leap, I’ll come falling too Running deep 'til that rivers through I don’t mind what you have to do 'Cause I won’t think less, less of you

Yes, I want more, more Looking for more I want more, more 'Cause I want more

Old grounds Feels like the weight has been lifted away So don’t you leave me there wanting more//

Chapter 7: Ben Platt – In case you don’t live forever

I mean it’s not my fault that Ben’s songs make me FEEL things, damn it.

The whole damn song = utter heartbreak when you think about Neil coming back to Reader before he goes back to Stalsk-12 to open that damn lock.

//I, I’ve carried this song in my mind Listen, it’s echoing in me But I haven’t helped you to hear it We, we’ve only got so much time I’m pretty sure it would kill me If you didn’t know the pieces of me are pieces of you

I’ve waited way too long to say Everything you mean to me

In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth I’m everything that I am because of you//

Bonus: Charlene Soraia – Wherever you will go

Why am I doing this to you? Because we all like pain.

This one is for the scene on the deck:

//So lately, been wondering Who will be there to take my place When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would I’ll go wherever you will go Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out A way to make it back someday To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then I hope there’s someone out there who can bring me back to you//

Bonus: Rhys Lewis – No right to love you

No light, only pain and suffering.

//'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn’t wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do//

Bonus: Knox Brown x Gallant – Reignite

This song is just so incredible, it makes my palms sweat and my mind going places. Yep, it was on repeat.

Oh you know which scene this one is for.

Bonus: Freya Ridings – Lost without you

The last dialogue. On repeat. Because this song breaks my heart and leaves me a sobbing mess.

//Strangers rushin’ past Just tryna get home But you were the only Safehaven that I’ve known Hits me at full speed Feel like I can’t breathe And nobody knows This pain inside me My world is crumbling I should never Let you go I think I’m lost without you//

(OI, SPOILERS)

Chapter 8: Florence + The Machine – Never let me go

I have only one thing to say:

Fuck you, Nolan.

Third out of three.

//And it’s over and I’m going under

But I’m not giving up I’m just giving in

Oh, slipping underneath So cold and so sweet

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold And all this devotion, well, I never knew at all And the questions I have for a sinner released In the arms of the ocean deliver me

(Never let me go, never let me go Never let me go, never let me go)//

Bonus: Sasha Sloan - Dancing with your ghost

Suffer with me.

//Yelling at the sky Screaming at the world Baby, why’d you go away? I’m still your girl Holding on too tight Head up in the clouds Heaven only knows Where you are now

How do I love How do I love again? How do I trust How do I trust again?

I stay up all night Tell myself I’m alright Baby, you’re just harder to see than most I put the record on Wait 'til I hear our song Every night I’m dancing with your ghost Every night I’m dancing with your ghost//

#stuck in reverse playlist #stuck in reverse #bts stuck in reverse #im gonna make yall suffer with me

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calpalirwin · 4 years

Text

Papa’s Job

Summary: Mason gets introduced to Ashton’s line of work.

A/N: Smushed a few ideas together. Also this piece delves deeper into Mason’s special needs diagnosis/lack thereof. And while I’ve done a fair amount of research both over the years for various reasons, and while writing this, I am by no means an expert, and my research is no substitute for personal experience. So please, feel free to offer constructive and KIND feedback in ways I can better write Mason. Happy reading!

Word Count: ~2k

And away, and away we go!

It seemed to Vanessa like wherever she turned, Mason was underfoot. “Fuckin’ hell!” she swore as she turned and almost tripped over the little boy.

Mason’s bottom lip trembled as he clapped his hands over his ears at her outburst.

She sighed and crouched down in front of the almost three year old, keeping a careful hold on Bailey who had been particularly fussy since her first round of shots the day before. “Sweet boy, you’re too close. I have the baby, we have to be careful.”

“Baie,” he nodded, reaching for his sister.

“You wanna hold her?”

Another nod.

“Okay, sweet boy. Let’s go sit, and you can hold Bai.”

Mason sprinted to the living room, flinging himself onto the couch. He grabbed the boppy and put it on his lap. “Momma. Baie.”

“Yes, Mase.” Vanessa said a silent prayer that Bailey wouldn’t kick up a fuss about not being in her arms as she placed the two month old on the boppy.

Bailey twisted her mouth to start crying, but Mason was quick to place his hand by her, her little fingers grasping around his slightly bigger index finger. “Baie, Baie, Baie,” he sang softly to her as she settled down.

“Bailey, Bailey, Bailey,” Vanessa sang with him, sitting down next to her son.

Mason continued to sing nonsense sounds at his sister, who slowly drifted off to sleep. Once Vanessa was sure she could move Bailey from Mason and upstairs to her crib to continue sleeping, she reached for her daughter. Mason whined low in his throat, placing his hands gently over Bailey. “Momma,” he warned in a low whisper.

“I know. I’m gonna go put her in her bed, sweet boy,” she answered back, her voice just as low.

Mason’s whine got more pronounced.

Vanessa pressed a finger to her lips. “I know you love her and want to hold her. You’re a great big brother, Mase. But sissy went night-night. You can hold her when she wakes up, okay?”

He pouted, but moved his hands away so Vanessa could take the sleeping infant. But clearly he wasn’t too thrilled at his sister being taken away because as soon as Bailey was in Vanessa’s arms, he chucked the boppy to the floor. “Mason Nicholas!” Vanessa hissed through her teeth as the toddler took off.

She held back the sigh, focusing on getting Bailey into her crib without more fuss.

Mason, in his quest to hide so he could continue to pout in peace, ended up at the top of the staircase leading to the basement. “Hey, Mase,” Ashton smiled when the little boy came stumbling down. He gripped the cymbal of his drum set between his index finger and thumb to silence it, setting his drumsticks aside. “Where’s Momma and Bailey?”

Mason jutted out his lower lip and pointed up the stairs.

“Aw, did Momma put Bailey down for a nap?”

Mason nodded. “Baie, Papa,” he whimpered.

“Aw,” Ashton chuckled, patting his lap. “Wanna come sit with me?”

He wiped at his face, walking over to Ashton and crawling into his lap. “Baie, Papa,” he repeated in a hiccuped sob.

Ashton wrapped the boy into him. “I know you’re sad. But Bailey needs to sleep. When she’s awake you can hold her some more.”

“Momma,” Mason mumbled.

“Yeah, I’m sure Momma did tell you the same thing. But it’s okay. You can still be sad about it.”

Mason let out a shuddery breath of acceptance before pushing at Ashton’s chest. Ashton opened his arms, expecting the boy to climb down from his lap. But to his surprise, Mason reached forward to tap his hands against the various drums, liking the sounds he produced. “Papa!” he beamed.

Ashton lit up like a Christmas tree. “Yeah? You wanna play the drums with me?” Ashton grabbed the drumsticks. “Look, bud,” he said, striking at the drums.

Mason laughed with glee at the sound, clutching on to Ashton’s wrists.

“Here, you try,” Ashton said, handing Mason one of the drumsticks.

Mason looked at it in uncertainty and back at Ashton.

“Like this,” Ashton demonstrated again.

Mason copied what Ashton had done as best he could.

“There ya go! Just like that!” Ashton encouraged, shifting Mason so that the boy was on one his knees, freeing up his other leg to kick up a steady beat against the bass drum.

“Mason?!” Vanessa’s frantic voice called down the stairs. “Ash, is he down there with you?”

“Yeah, we’re down here, baby.”

She came flying down the staircase, halting at the bottom, eyes wild as they landed on Mason sitting happily on Ashton’s lap playing with the drum kit. “You scared the crap out of me!”

Ashton’s own eyes went wide. “Me? What did I do?”

“Not you, him!” She pointed a finger at Mason. “He got mad that I put Bailey down so he took off to hide. I thought he went to hide in his room. Fuckin’ damn near tore the house apart looking for him.”

“Whoa,” Ashton eased, standing up and adjusting Mason on his hip. “Take a minute. He’s been with me. He’s fine.”

“Yeah, I can see that… Here, I’ll take him back upstairs.”

Ashton waved her off as Mason squirmed in his hold to reach for the drums. “Nah, I got him, it’s fine. We’re having fun, aren’t we, bud?”

Mason smacked on the cymbal with his stick, giggling at the sound.

Vanessa’s heart melted. “Alright. But, you, mister Mason,” she said, wagging a finger at the boy. “We do not throw things when we are upset.”

“Uh-oh,” Ashton tsked, looking down at the boy in his arms. “Momma’s right, Mase. Throwing things isn’t nice. What do we say after we do something that’s not nice?”

“Momma!” Mason grinned, blowing Vanessa a sloppy toddler kiss.

She crossed over to her boys, kissing Mason’s cheek. “I forgive you, sweet boy. So what are you and Papa doing?”

“Teaching him how to play drums. He seems to really like it,” Ashton told her, sitting back down with Mason so they could go back to playing.

“Yeah, they say music’s really good for him.”

“Who’s they?”

“They. The doctors. The research. Something about the repetitive nature helping with his speech. I dunno, a lot of the scientific mumbo jumbo goes over my head.”

“Well, why don’t we get him in like a class, or something. They have those, right?”

“Yeah. And I’ve been meaning to. But every time I think to look into it, something else comes up. And without a formal diagnosis, it’s hard to find the right class for him.”

“He doesn’t have a formal diagnosis? What does that mean?”

“It means they, the doctors, just have a lot of really good guesses but not any real answers because he’s still so young. It’s currently a toss up between aphasia and autism.”

“Okay, I know what autism is more or less. But what the fuck is that other word?”

“Fancy talk for speech disorder.”

“That is so fuckin stupid… they can’t tell if he has a speech disorder? He’s damn near three years old and only says 4 fuckin words. I may not know a whole hell of a lot about child development or whatever the fuck, but pretty sure three olds are supposed to say a lot more than 4 bloody words.”

Vanessa stifled her laughter as Ashton vented his frustration. She wondered how many times you had raved the exact same thing to Finn, almost verbatim. “They can tell he has a speech disorder, love. They just can’t tell if it’s just it’s own thing, or if there’s more to it than that. Autism and speech disorders tend to overlap.”

“Yeah, and I bet you had to pay out your fuckin ears for all those doctor visits, and specialists, and shit. God, your healthcare here sucks.”

This time, she did laugh. “Yeah, but Finn and I both have pretty good insurance plans so it wasn’t too bad.”

“Yeah, and we can always just do this,” he told her, jerking his chin about the room. “Do our own music therapy here in the basement.”

“Now, that’s not a bad idea.”

“Man, I can’t wait to start touring again. I mean, I’m gonna miss you guys like fuckin’ crazy. But god, I can’t wait to show you guys around when we do our gig here. You’re gonna fuckin’ love it, baby.”

“It might just be me coming to see you, babe. I don’t know how Mase will handle all the noise, even with headphones.”

“Shit you’re right… well maybe you guys should come to a rehearsal then. Give the headphones a proper test.”

“A private concert all our own, huh? I think that sounds perfect.”

~~~

Mason gasped in excitement as they walked into the rehearsal space and he saw all the instruments. “Momma!”

“Yeah, I see, sweet boy. Are you excited to watch Papa and Uncles?”

“Momma,” he nodded.

“Go say hi to everybody, and then we’ll sit and listen, okay?”

Mason dashed off to press his forehead against Calum, Luke, and Michael who all murmured their own hellos to the boy while Ashton helped Vanessa get settled down with Bailey. “Ikey!” Mason screeched when he got to Michael, reaching up to touch the man’s fringe that poked out of his hat.

“Yes!” Michael whooped in victory. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!” Michael said pointing at Calum, Luke, and then back at Calum with each “fuck you.”

Calum rolled his eyes while Luke pouted, “How is ‘Mikey’ easier to say than ‘Luke’? How does he like your hair better? I have curls!”

“Oh, just let him have the win, Luke,” Ashton said, straightening up to his feet. “You guys ready or what?”

After making sure Bailey and Mason had their ears protected, the men all situated themselves with their instruments and started playing.

Mason managed to sit quietly through about two and a half songs before he got up and went over to Ashton, resting his small hand against the man’s leg. Ashton nodded for them to keep going when Calum, Luke, and Michael turned to look at him in a silent question. Between beats, Ashton scooped Mason up into his lap and finished the song. “Whatcha think?” Ashton asked both everybody and nobody as he pushed sweaty locks of hair back away from his face.

“Transitions sounded better this time,” Michael commented.

“Sounded better than better. Sounded tour ready,” Luke corrected.

“Could do without audience participation,” Calum teased with a playful look at Mason on Ashton’s lap.

“Just because you missed a beat, doesn’t mean you have to be bitter, Cal,” Ashton teased back. “And speaking of audience participation. What’d ya think?”

With all four men watching her, Vanessa shrugged her shoulders. “I’m no music expert, but I’m with Luke and Mike. Sounded really good.”

Mason, displeased that the music had stopped, reached across Ashton’s lap to strike at the cymbal with his hands. “Here,” Ashton told him, handing Mason the drumsticks. “With these.”

Mason tried again, shrieking with excitement at the sounds he produced from hitting the different parts of the drum set. Much like how he had done in the basement a week ago, Ashton shifted so Mason was fully seated on one leg so he would work the bass drum with his free leg without jostling the boy too much in the process. “Atta boy, Mase!” Ashton praised.

Rehearsal was quickly disbanded in favor of giving Mason a turn at all the other instruments in the room, letting him choose his favorite. Mason sat with Michael the longest, happily swiping a guitar pick against the strings. “Well, now we know what to get him for his birthday,” Michael grinned, sticking his tongue out at Calum and Luke.

Calum grumbled that this was barely a win for Michael because all this proved was that Mason definitely liked guitars, making it a win for everyone except Ashton, while Luke pouted more about how unfair it was Mason liked Michael more than him because “We play the same bloody instruments! I have CURLS!”

Ashton laughed at his friends, letting Michael gloat in his little victories a little bit longer before getting Mason’s attention. “Mase? Drums?” He drummed a quick and small beat that had Mason launching himself off of Michael and across the room to Ashton’s lap.

“Ha!” Calum smirked, flipping off Michael. “Now who’s Mase’s favorite?”

“Bailey,” everyone answered without needing to think about it.

Tag List

@frontmanash @goeatsomelife @flameraine @creator-appreciator @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @sparkling-calm @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @boomerash @teenwolfss24 @karajaynetoday @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505 @cashtonisruiningmylife

#papa's job #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton&vanessa #ash&mase #mase&bai #papa!ash #uncle!sos #galcal irwin

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pink-imagines · 4 years

Text

angel on earth

part 10: ENDING

request: Bakugou holds auditions for a new lead singer for the BakuBand and the reader auditions and he’s mesmerised by her voice? Idk, I’m awful at requesting, sorry. ❤️ Love everything you do, don’t stress, and have a good day!

a/n: this is the last part! thank you so much for the support on this series! This is just a fluffy memory recap!

warnings: fluff

masterlist

“Hey.”, you turned to him, “I just want you to know, this is only going to work if we want each other and not need each other.”

“Lucky for you, I really want you.”, he grabbed your hips and pulled you in closer.

“Then let’s make it official.”, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he bent down to kiss you.

That was a few years ago, but you still thought of it to this day. All those hard years with your ex before finally meeting the love of your life. The media went crazy when they found out, some were good and some were bad. Some thought it was a PR stunt and said it would only last a few months, but four years later and here you were... laying beside him in bed.

He was fast asleep, which he deserved for his day off. Your fifth tour had just ended and now you finally got to go home. Touring was great, you got to meet the fans and you got to do your favorite thing in the world, singing. But rest was always important, and what better way to do it than to rest with Katsuki.

Your fingers softly trailed down Katsuki’s neck, where a few lovebites had made their way from last night. You gently placed a kiss on each of them but Katsuki started waking up so you stopped.

“No... don’t stop.”, he muttered with a raspy voice and securely wrapped his arms around your waist. You smiled and trailed down kisses from his neck down to his chest, following the purple marks and letting your fingers draw circles over his skin.

“You’re lucky we’re not going anywhere today.”, you chuckled before pressing a kiss to his lips, “Otherwise, I’d have to cover you up with concealer.”

“That’d be too bad.”, he mumbled, “I like ‘em.”

“I can tell.”, you grinned and motioned to the marks on your neck and chest, “Would you be a sweetheart and help me to the bathroom?”

“What? Are you sore or something?”, he gave you a cocky grin.

“You can bet your ass I am. Now, help me to the bathroom.”, you laughed.

“Alright, alright. Just let me get up.”, he said and turned over, getting out of bed, “Do you want a bath then, princess?”

“Only if you join me.”, you grinned and sat up.

“Don’t mind if I do.”, he chuckled and lifted you up as if you were as light as a feather. Katsuki carried you into the bathroom and sat you down on the toilet as he drew a bath. You watched his back muscles move with mezmeration in your eyes.

“You’re staring.”, he said, bringing a memory back to you.

“You’re staring.”, Katsuki said with a low raspy morning voice.

“It’s not a crime to stare.”, you giggled. He opened one eye to look at you and you smiled brightly back at him.

“Goodmorning.”, you said. Katsuki muttered out something that was supposed to be a “goodmorning”.

“I think we’re getting breakfast up here soon… I should probably call and tell them to bring for two people.”, you turned around to reach for the phone. Katsuki wrapped his arms around your waist and burried his face into your back.

“As long as you stay in bed.”, his voice was muffled as he pressed a kiss on your spine. You chuckled and grabbed the hotel phone.

“It’s not a crime.”, you grinned, “Besides, I like what I see.”

“Of course you do.”, he grinned and flexed slightly, making you chuckle. He helped you into the bath before getting in behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and snuggled his face into the crook of your neck.

“Thanks for this.”, you mumbled and leaned into his chest.

“I’m the reason you’re sore, it’s the least I can do.”, he kissed your cheek.

Once the two of you got out of the bath you changed into one of Katsuki’s t-shirts and walked to the kitchen. A part of you missed his old apartment...

Katsuki’s apartment was really nice, but not that big. You forgot that even though Crimson Crypt was pretty famous, that didn’t mean he made a lot of money. Even so, this apartment definietly wasn’t cheap and neither was the furniture. You could tell by the big, brown, leather, couch in the livingroom.

“Wow, this is so nice… I love you’re decorating!”, you smiled and looked around the room.

“Mina helped me with a lot, I just told her what I liked.”, he shrugged.

“I didn’t take you for a plant person.”, you glanced on every plant in the room around you. There had to be at least seventeen.

“Their easy to manage, so there’s no real work really.”, he chuckled and walked into his bedroom. The walls were covered with bookshelves, filled with books and a few plants. His bed was big and seemed very soft and had very clean white sheets.

The plants were still there, so was the couch and the hammock. The apartment itself was just bigger and in a different area of Tokyo. But it was still different.

Katsuki was in the kitchen making breakfast, you had offered to help but he wouldn’t let you. He was the master chef in the house, after all. Still, the least you could do was to put the cutlery on the table, which is what you were doing at this moment. The knock on the door interupted you.

“I’ll get it!”, you said to Katsuki before opening the door. Once you opened the door you saw Eijiro.

“Yo!”, he grinned.

“Hey... uh... what are you doing here?”, you chuckled.

“You invited us over for breakfast last night!”, he smiled goofily, like he usually did.

“Eiji, I was drunk!”, exclaimed.

“Oh...”, he scratched the back of his head, “Well... the other’s are already on their way so...”

“Of course...”, you groaned, “You know what? Come in, I’m just gonna put on pants.”

You could hear Eijiro scaring the shit out of Katsuki in the kitchen. You mentally slapped yourself for drinking too much last night, but at least you didn’t get a hangover. You walked back into the bedroom. It was the same bed, still.

The next morning you woke up to the sun beaming in through the window… but you didn’t have a window facing the sunrise. You looked down and saw clean white sheets… this is Katsuki’s bed. When you looked at what you were wearing you didn’t recognize it. This is Katsuki’s shirt!

And so memories of last night started flowing back, only to be stopped by a knock at the door. He didn’t wait for a response, he just walked in.

“Goodmor-”

“DID YOU SEE ME NAKED LAST NIGHT!?”, you squeaked and pulled the covers over your chest.

“WHAT!? NO!”, he shrieked, “I gave you my shirt so that you could change! Unless you wanted to sleep in a hoodie and sweatpants!” You looked around and saw the hoodie and sweatpnast neatly folded, like you usually did with your clothes.

You laughed a bit at the memory, if only you’d known how this would’ve ended up.

“Hey! Why did you invite these idiots!?”, Katsuki ran into the bedroom as you were pulling on your sweatpants.

“I was drunk!”, you explained once again, not turning to see him. Katsuki wrapped his arms around from behind and rested his head on your shoulder.

“I thought this was our day off.”, he pouted.

“Oh, don’t be a baby.”, you giggled.

“Well then...”, he kissed you right where the biggest hickey held place, “... guess you’re gonna have to get that concealer.” He smacked your ass before running away from you.

“Hey!”, you exclaimed.

Once everybody had gotten there the breakfast was ready.

“Woah, you two had a fun night last night.”, Kaminari laughed as he walked in.

“Leave them alone!”, Mina slapped his arm lightly. Mina was very protective over you, she was like a big sister. When you first started dating Katsuki you still lived with her and she’d make sure that you were okay after every date. If you didn’t call or text her, she’d probably call the police. Luckily the protectivness isn’t that strong anymore, but it’s still there... it all started the day you finally said no.

“Y/N!”, Mina smiled, “I was just about to-”

“Mina!”, you sobbed and ran into the pink haired girl’s arms. You could feel her wanting to rage but she kept it inside for you. Usually she had a tendency to have a burst of emotion but when she saw you so distressed she realized that it wasn’t the right time.

“You wanna leave?”, she asked softly and you nodded, “Let’s leave.”

It hurt in the moment but now in the long run, you were so happy you managed to do it.

“Thanks for making breakfast, baby.”, you kissed Katsuki’s cheek before sitting down at the table with everyone else.

“Can I get a kiss on the cheek too?”, Hanta grinned.

“Oi, fuck off!”, Katsuki exclaimed. The rest of the table laughed and you patted on the place beside you for Katsuki to sit down. It was nice to have them here, the feeling of love and safety embraced you like a warm blanket.

When breakfast was over Katsuki basically forced them out. All the way out Hanta and Kaminari teased him and Eijiro was waving goodbye to you. Mina wouldn’t go unless she got a goodbye hug from you and you gladly gave her one.

“Call me soon, Y/N!”, she said happily and walked out of the apartment.

“I will!”, you smiled and closed the door behind her.

“Finally I can have you to myself...”, Katsuki sighed and embraced you once again.

“But the dishes-”

“Fuck the dishes.”, he chuckled.

“Do you want to lay in the hammock all day?”, you suggested.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”, he smiled.

So there you were, laying on his chest with a book in your hands. This was a usual, you reading out loud while Katsuki played with your hair and listened. Right now you were in the middle of the book “The picture of Dorian Gray”, since you had suggested it.

“Your voice sounds very nice...”, he said, like he always did.

“You say that a lot.”, you giggled.

“... but it sounded even better when you were screaming my name last night.”, he grinned and kissed your shoulder.

“Katsuki!”, you gasped and hit his arm lightly.

“Kind of like that, yeah.”, he chuckled.

“You little-”

“I’m kidding!”, he laughed, “But you should’ve seen how red your face just got!” You burried your face in his chest, in attempt to hide your blushing cheeks from him.

“You’re mean.”, your voice was muffled from his shirt.

“I’m sorry, babe... you’re so easily flustered, it’d be a crime if I didn’t tease you from time to time.”, he kissed the top of your head, “You wanna take a nap?” You nodded in response.

“Alright...”, Katsuki took the book and put it down on the table, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”, you looked up at him with a smile, “But you’re still mean.”

“Fine, then I’ll be your mean boyfriend.”, he smiled.

“My cute mean boyfriend.”, you corrected him and he let out a chuckle. Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair as you lightly scratched massaged his head. He melted under your touch as he closed his eyes and let out a delighted sigh.

“I really love you though, angel.”, he smiled.

“And I really love you too.”, you kissed him softly. You laid your head down on his chest again and relaxed. This is what happiness felt like, this is what love felt like. This is what it felt like to feel wanted.

When Katsuki thought you were asleep he started softly humming a tune all too familiar. It felt like you were melting when he started scratching your back.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you...”, he muttered, “I just gotta find the right time to pop the question...”

You decided to not ruin his moment by waking up, but your heart couldn’t stop beating faster and faster.

“Y/N? Are you awake?”, he asked softly. You looked up at him like a dog who had done something bad.

��Sorry... I heard you.”, you mumbled as you sat up, your legs on either side of him.

“Why are you apologiezing?”, he chuckled.

“I ruined the surprise.”, you frowned.

“Sweetheart...”, he brought his hand up to your cheek, “You just made it easier for me.” He took out a red velvet box from the pocket of his pants.

“Eijiro delivered it to me this morning. It would be too obvious if paparazzi caught me in a ring shop...”, he smiled and opened the box, “What do you say? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” This was so like him. Blunt and confident... but kind and loving. You looked at the ring, then back at him and then back at the ring. Was this even real?

“Pinch me.”, you whispered.

“You’re not dreaming, angel.”, Katsuki said after lightly pinching your arm. Nothing could be more magical about this moment. The snow was falling outside, the apartment smelled of oranges and cinnamon from the candle you had just lit and Katsuki was laying under you with a warm smile and a ring in his hand.

“Do you want to marry me?”, he asked.

“Yes!”

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classysassy9791 · 3 years

Text

Sometimes its the quieter moments that speak the loudest. A story of love, laughter, and friendship carried through the years during the most wonderful season of all. Full of fluff and Christmas cheer. Interconnecting One-shots.

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Friendship Pairings: InuKag, MirSan, SessKagu Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l Ch. 6 l

Chapter 7: Carol of the Bells Word Count: 3050 Can also be found here

Inuyasha pulled his scarf snug around his neck as he shuffled out of Sango’s house and into the bitter winter air. He shoved his mitten-clad hands into his coat pockets, ignoring the merry nature of his friends trudging behind him.

He was anything but merry right now.

“What’s wrong, Inuyasha?” Kagome asked, sidling up next to him and looping her arm through his.

“Keh,” he scoffed in reply. “Do I even have to answer that?”

She smiled brightly and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Oh, come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I’m not singing,” he refused for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. He honestly didn’t know what his friends were thinking coming up with a plan like this. And furthermore, how in the hell did he get wrapped up in it?

Kagome jutted out her lip in a pout. “But everyone is going to be singing.”

“Yeah, I bet you have the voice of an angel,” their friend Shippo called out, his green eyes glinting mischievously.

“I am not singing.” Inuyasha made a mental note to throttle the kid later. “Explain to me why we’re doing this again?” he grumbled. His toes were already beginning to freeze.

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear,” Kagome pledged with a laugh.

He stopped walking and looked at her. “Did you just quote Buddy the Elf?”

“Stop being such a scrooge,” Sango chimed in as her and Miroku caught up with them. “We haven’t gone Christmas caroling since we were kids.”

“Correction, you haven’t gone Christmas caroling since you were kids,” he amended. “I, on the other hand, never had to go through that torture.”

“I wasn’t torture,” Sango scoffed. “We actually enjoyed going caroling. The Christmas songs, the bells, the hot chocolate…”

Miroku chuckled. “We’re going with some other people,” he reminded Inuyasha. “You can just mouth the words and I’m sure no one would notice.”

“Absolutely not,” Kagome interfered. “You can’t spread Christmas spirit unless everybody is singing.”

“Well, I don’t have any Christmas spirit, so you’re outta luck.” He folded his arms over his chest and sneered. “I don’t understand why anyone would want to walk around in the freezing cold, bothering people, and singing off-key.”

Kagome frowned and shot him a glare. “It’s actually really fun, if you give it a chance.”

“I’m already miserable, so why torment myself?”

“Why are you always such a cynic?”

He balked and glowered at her. “Am not!”

“Are too!” she barbed, pulling away from him and clenching her fists.

“Now, now, you two,” Miroku attempted to interfere. “This is supposed to be an enjoyable night full of Christmas spirit.”

“Let’s just enjoy ourselves,” Sango chimed in, resting a reassuring hand on Kagome’s shoulder. “This isn’t the time for fighting.”

Kagome scowled at Inuyasha before she clucked her tongue and turned away. “They’re right,” she said, storming on ahead. “I’m not going to let your anti-Christmas attitude ruin the night.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes as they passed by the town square and reached the church. A small group had already gathered near the door as the Father passed out booklets full of Christmas songs. A few classmates had shown up, along with some parents and their young children.

“Here you go, Inuyasha,” Kagome snipped as she handed him a song book.

He glanced over the red cover that had a picture of a Christmas tree, and then quickly flipped through the book that had approximately twenty songs. “This is stupid.”

Sango shot him a warning glare. He quickly shut his mouth, not wanting to be at the receiving end of her wrath.

“All right,” Kagome said, clapping her hands together with a smile. “Are we all bunded up? Got our hand warmers and our thermoses of hot chocolate?”

Shippo pulled out a bag of hand warmers with a grin, as Miroku held up three thermoses filled with cocoa. “Prepared and ready, Captain!” Sango cheered.

“Hey, Kagome!” a voice called, drawing their attention to a sandy-haired boy their age walking toward them.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. Hobo…

“Hi, Hojo,” Kagome greeted their classmate warmly. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Every year.” He handed her and Sango some extra candles he had. “I help out at the church whenever I have some free time.”

“Of course you do,” Inuyasha mumbled under his breath.

Miroku leaned over. “Tell me again why you don’t like him?”

Inuyasha had his reasons. Like Hojo always flirting with Kagome, or giving her presents, or offering to help her study. Keh. He was always hanging around when he wasn’t wanted. Inuyasha wasn’t jealous or anything. No, of course not. The kid was just annoying. Even worse than Shippo. At least the red-head was tolerable.

Deciding to stay silent, Inuyasha folded his arms and continued to sulk.

“This will be fun!” Kagome said as Hojo lit her candle from his.

That smile he gave her made Inuyasha’s skin crawl.

“Are we gonna get goin’ yet?” he barked. “I’m going to freeze to death.”

Kagome frowned, but said nothing. “Ah, yes, Inuyasha,” Hojo replied, gesturing with his hand toward a blue pickup filled with blankets and a bag of toys for the children they met along the way. He turned to address the rest of the group. “The truck is all packed up. Go ahead and pile in. I’ll be right there.”

As the group began shuffling toward the truck, Kagome leaned over and lit Sango’s candle. “You know, Inuyasha, you could be a little nicer,” Kagome said off-handedly. “Hojo didn’t do anything wrong.”

“As if. That kid has been making goo-goo eyes at you since the third grade.”

Kagome sighed. “No need to get jealous. He’s not my type.”

He blushed furiously, mouth dropping open. “W-Well I would hope not, since you’re my girlfriend.”

“You’re right.” A small smile wormed its way onto her lips. “I’m yours.”

She folded herself against his side as he looped an arm around her shoulders. He placed a kiss to the top of her head. It was something about those two words that made his stomach do flip-flops. There was nothing in the world that made him feel the way he did when she said that.

Kagome made him happy, even though they fought sometimes. She made him laugh. She was smart. She was different. She was a little crazy and awkward, but her smile alone could make his day.

That’s right, Kagome, he thought as he pulled her tighter against him. You’re mine.

ACS

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,” the group sang hours later at another house covered in Christmas lights. Inuyasha had begrudgingly mumbled along with the words, but didn’t do so with cheer, much to Kagome’s disdain. As they wrapped up their caroling, moving onto the next house, he groaned in discomfort.

“Here,” Kagome said, handing him some hand warmers and a thermos of hot cocoa. “Warm up a bit before we get to the next street.”

He stuffed the hand warmers into his pockets, and took a few sips of cocoa, relishing in the warmth pooling in his stomach. “How much longer are we going to be out here?”

She shrugged. The truck had taken some of the children back home a long time ago, the little ones too cold to finish. “I think this might be the last block.”

He wrinkled his nose, which had long ago become numb. He made a mental note to never let them drag him out caroling again. He stamped his feet to keep them warm as the group shuffled onward. Miroku and Sango had their arms linked, heads bent together whispering, while Shippo hung around near the front, joking with one of the other kids from the neighborhood.

Inuyasha didn’t understand why nobody else seemed bothered by the cold.

They stopped in front of a white house with a red door as everyone flipped through their song books to the tune Hojo had selected. The soft harmony of The First Noel filled the sky, as the carolers in the back hit bells softly against their hands to give a tinkling ring into the night.

After a minute, a young woman opened the door. Her brown hair was frazzled and unkempt, dark circles under her eyes, as the sounds of children screaming could be heard from within the house.

“Please, no carolers tonight,” she begged. “I-I’m trying to get the kids to bed.”

The carolers stopped singing, Hojo nodding his head in apology. “Of course. Sorry to disturb you. Merry Christmas.”

Before she could shut the door, a little boy appeared, pulling at his mother’s dress insistently. “Toshi took my toy!” he screamed at her, red-faced and crying. Another boy from within the house yelled back with indignation.

The mother obviously seemed overwhelmed as her children appeared, each one asking her a question or peeking their heads out curiously to see who was at the door. They ranged from toddlers to young teenagers, all misbehaving and causing their mother a lot of grief.

It had been more than two years since Inuyasha had lost his own mother, but sometimes he was caught unaware, during moments like this, and he was flooded with memories of her.

“Behave, Inuyasha,” Izayoi said with her back to him.

He stomped his feet and pouted. “But mama, I want that toy!”

She turned to look at him, dark hair sweeping over her shoulders. “You know about Christmas, don’t you?”

“Of course!”

“Well, then you know about Santa Claus, right?”

He nodded his head eagerly.

“Then you better watch out.”

“Why, mama?”

She smiled, a shine coming to her eyes. “Because Santa Claus is coming to town.”

A shouted cry from one of the kids startled Inuyasha out of his memories. As the mother struggled with her young ones, looking on the verge of crying, he couldn’t take it anymore. Finally, Inuyasha stepped forward, kneeling down to the boy’s height. “Hey,” he called out, effectively drawing the children’s attention and silencing them. He glanced over them before setting his sights on the boy, still clinging to his mother’s dress. “Do you guys know about Christmas?”

The boy nodded, side-stepping to hide behind his mother.

“Well, then you know about Santa Claus, right?”

They all nodded their heads, their interest piqued as they moved to look out at the strangers on their doorstep.

“Are you being good for your mom?”

The children didn’t answer, looking up guiltily at the woman whose gaze was fixated curiously on the man before her.

Inuyasha shook his head. “Oh man, that doesn’t sound good. You better watch out.”

“Why?” one of the girls asked, pulling at the hem of her shirt.

He scoffed. “Cause Santa Claus is coming to town, that’s why.”

Kagome, who had been standing back and watching Inuyasha with a warm expression, had an idea and quickly told the carolers around her to flip to a different song. In a soft voice that rippled through the group, she sang, “You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why…”

As they began singing, Inuyasha joining in as he handed each of the children a toy, the kids all looked on with wonder, scampering outside to join in, listening to the words and singing along – their eyes bright, their smiles wide, giggling as Inuyasha sang off-tune and stumbled over a verse.

“Santa Claus is comin’ to town!”

As the last of the song faded, Inuyasha chuckled at the look of excitement in the children’s eyes. “Now, Santa is going to be here in a few days,” he warned them gently. “So you need to be good for your mom. Otherwise, Santa is only going to give you coal for Christmas.”

The absolute horror on the kids’ faces made him grin, as they each turned to apologize to their mother. She patted their heads, smiling down at them, as they ran back inside to get ready for bed.

And then she turned teary eyes to Inuyasha as he stood, clasping her hands around one of his. “Thank you,” she said, giving him a smile, before returning inside to the warmth of her home and shutting the door behind her.

There was a stillness in the air as he turned around to look at the other carolers. Each one was looking at him with a stupid grin on their face. He frowned. “What?”

“You’re such a softie,” Shippo laughed.

Miroku joined in. “What a teddy bear.”

“All bark and no bite,” Sango added.

Inuyasha furrowed his brows and stormed toward them. “I am not!”

Kagome linked her arm through his before he could grab a hold of one of their friends – who all took off in the other direction – and looked up at him. Her cheeks pink from the cold, she smiled. “That was really kind of you, Inuyasha. I think you just gave that family the best present of all.”

“Keh. And what’s that?”

“The hope of Christmas spirit, good cheer, and a smile.”

He blushed under her praise, shuffling forward with the rest of the group. And for the first time that night, he didn’t complain about the cold or the long walk home. He didn’t argue about the songs, and sang louder than everyone else the rest of the way home.

He pictured that mother, her warm smile of appreciation, and the wonder reflected in the eyes of her children.

And as they finished caroling for the night, a small voice in the back of his head admitted that Christmas caroling wasn’t so bad after all.

ACS

Inuyasha pushed open the door to his house, letting Kagome escape inside from the cold before shutting the door behind him. They peeled the layers of their clothes away, hanging their coats and scarves on the hooks in the entry way. Kagome shivered, running her hands up and down her arms.

“I’ll start a fire,” he offered, stepping toward the living room.

“Sounds great. I’ll make us come hot chocolate.” She disappeared into the kitchen.

He knelt to start setting wood on the grate, and with a few flicks of a match, a small fire began to burn. He stepped back and sat on the couch, eyes watching the flames grow to life, licking the wood hungrily and bringing warmth to the room.

Amber eyes turned, sweeping over the emptiness of the living room. His father was working late again, and Sesshomaru had moved out over the summer. Kagome had bought some new Christmas stockings that hung with care over the fireplace. She had briefly mentioned early in December about putting up a Christmas tree, but Inuyasha had refused. He didn’t have the heart to go through their Christmas decorations just yet.

Izayoi swept across the living room, dressed in an over-sized Christmas sweatshirt, hanging glittering ornaments on the tree.

Inuyasha gazed into the box filled with Christmas wonder, his little hands grabbing at the plastic ones that looked like little toys.

“You want to help me, Inuyasha?” his mother called, bending down to look into the box with him. “Why don’t you hang some of these for me?”

He nodded his head eagerly, carefully hanging one of the ornaments near the bottom of the tree where he could reach. The ornament, a plastic rocking horse with small beady eyes, twirled on its string, reflecting the lights of the Christmas tree.

Izayoi’s tinkling laughter filled the room, and he looked up at her curiously. “What are you laughing at?”

She smiled down at him. “Laughter comes from joy, and I’m just very happy right now. Good things just feel good, Inuyasha.”

He gave her a curious stare, the soft tunes of ‘Oh Come All Ye Faithful’ playing over the radio.

“Here you go,” Kagome’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

Inuyasha looked over his shoulder to see her standing beside him with two mugs of hot cocoa, reaching one out to him. She took a seat beside him, pulling an old red-checkered blanket over their laps, and snuggled up next to him.

He draped an arm over her shoulders as he sipped on his hot chocolate, eyes turning distant as he watched the flames curl and sway, crackling as they burned the dry wood. It felt good to feel their warmth, shying away the cold empty feeling of the house.

“I just don’t feel the spirit of it anymore,” he finally mumbled.

Kagome looked up at him questioningly. “The spirit of Christmas?”

He furrowed his brows. “Ever since my mother died, I just… I just don’t feel it. It’s like when she left, she took it with her.”

She bit her lip, taking a glance over his barren living room. “Izayoi always did love Christmas.”

He nodded his head. “She did. It was her favorite time of the year.” He sipped his hot cocoa quietly for a moment, and then he added, “But tonight, I felt it again. When we were out there singing to those kids, seeing their smiles, how grateful their mom was…” He paused, trying to find the right words to describe what he was feeling. “I haven’t been the same since my mother died. But tonight, just for a moment, it was like she was still here. Like I’d come home and she’d be singing Christmas music as she decorated the tree.”

Kagome sighed deeply, smiling warmly up at him. “She’s still here,” she reminded softly, laying a hand over his chest. “She’ll always be here.”

He granted her a smile, kissing the top of her head as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

As the fireplace mimicked warmth the house had long forgotten, Inuyasha and Kagome sat cozy by the flame, their features illuminated by the flickering light. He could smell the hint of pine as it burned, just a faint fragrance to reassure their comfort during the long, bitter winter.

And as they finished their hot chocolate, Kagome falling into a quite doze beside him, Inuyasha felt a sense of warmth spread through him, beginning where his heart beat softly in his chest.

“Merry Christmas, Mom,” he whispered, amber eyes glistening as he stared into the crackling evening fire.

“Merry Christmas, my Inuyasha.”

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #fanfiction #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag fanfiction #my fanfiction #sassy stays classy #a christmas story #miroku #sango #mirsan #shippou #shippo

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heathsbitch · 4 years

Text

Treat You Better ➳ PEAKY BLINDERS

xiv. THE EPSOM RACES

James had gone back to Ada's house and Ivy and Thomas walked over to a group of people crowded around a car. As they neared the vehicle, Ivy could see that it was the Peaky Blinders that stood around the car. "You're late." John jokingly scolded. There was a slim man standing next to John. Arthur. A smile grew on Ivy's face as she noticed her friend. "Please, we had business." Tom told his brother. Arthur walked towards Tom and engulfed him in a large hug. They patted each other, "How did you get me out of that?" The eldest Shelby asked."I need you today, brother. We pulled some strings." They pulled out of the hug and Arthur went over to Ivy. "You alright?" The girl asked him. "I am now." He replied and rubbed her shoulder. Ivy saw John out of the corner of her eye. "So Arthur's back in charge now?" he asked. "He's in charge of you," Thomas told his younger brother. "And you're both in charge of them. Look-out duties only today," He pointed towards Ivy and Finn. The girl hadn't even noticed Finn stood in the corner of the crowd. "Tom, I'm getting sick o-" Finn started to complain but Thomas cut him off. "Finn, you don't obey orders, you don't come. Same goes for you, Ivy." Ivy looked towards her friend, a look of sadness passed across his face. She gave him a look of sympathy and he returned the look briefly. Ivy began to look around the group and she noticed a certain face was missing. "Tommo, where's Michael?" The man turned to the girl, and pulled her away from the crowd. "Listen, Polly told me that she's trying to send him away, to London. She wants him as far away from this business as she can get him. Pol was trying to do the same to you but I convinced her to let you stay." The girl stood there, silent, unsure of what to say next. "Do you think he'll leave?" She asked, hoping that the answer would be 'no'. Yes, Michael scared her and yes, he was annoying at times but he was still Ivy's friend and she didn't want him to leave. "No. He has more to offer us. And to you." With his last comment, he returned to the group, leaving Ivy stunned. 'What did he mean by that? Did Tommo know that Mickey was the one who stayed with me the other night?' She asked herself multiple questions but didn't further any of them onto Tommo. She was glad that Michael was probably going to stay, though. Ivy went back to the group and listened to Tom's new orders.

"Johnny Dogs. Your boys will meet us there." Tom asked the gypsy. "Well, the Lees will be there, captain." He responded. "Captain?" Thomas questioned. The small man went to explain the reasons behind the nickname, "I've promoted you. Well, the boys say that you're no longer like a sergeant major. Fucking those rich women and using those fancy words," Ivy couldn't help but think that Johnny Dogs was referencing her mother, she ignored the comment however. "I'd say you're more like a captain these days." Tommo continued to look at the floor whilst his friend spoke. "Fine then, I'll take that as a compliment. Just don't bloody shoot me," He joked with the men. "Let's go to the Derby boys." Tom walked to the front of the car and everyone followed. "Alright, then. Light 'em up!" Arthur spurred everyone on. Everyone climbed into the car and sat down. Ivy got squished in between Arthur and Finn. The smell of musk and men filled the van as they set off to Epsom. "Shit." Ivy whispered. "What's wrong, Vee?" Arthur asked the girl. "I can't go to the bloody Epsom races dressed like this." She gestured to her plain skirt and shirt that she wore. Finn giggled at her worry. "You'll be working so don't worry." He added after he stifled his laughter. Ivy shot him a glance but waited for Arthur to say something else. "John said that Tommy said that he has a dress for you. You can get changed when we're there." Ivy nodded her head, relieved at the fact that she had something nicer to wear. She just hoped it that it fit."Hey," Ivy nudged her friend's arm "Are you okay?" She asked, worried about how he felt after what Tommy said. He sighed deeply. "Yeah. I'm just fed up of Tom treating me like a child. He lets you do more than me." He ranted, the noise of all the other men almost drowning him out. "I'm sure that's not true." Ivy placed her hand on Finn's leg to comfort him. "It is true. He took you to get Michael, he took you to the auction, he took you to see the horse. Why would he take you if he didn't trust you?" Finn's hand rested on top of Ivy's. When she spoke, her voice came out soft. "He took me to get Michael because I was one of the only people to know that Polly had kids. He took me to the auction because I practically begged him to go and he took me to see the horse because my mum is the one training him. He's just trying to protect his family. The only reason he's keeping me around is because I'm useful when it comes to manipulating my father." She spoke for longer than she had meant to but kept her eye contact with the boy. "Okay." He muttered softly, agreeing to what she was saying.

About ten minutes into the journey, the men became bored. "Ivy can sing." Ivy tapped Finn's leg a tad too hard to scold him for what he said. "Go on, Vee. Give us a song." Arthur encouraged her. "No, I-i'm okay." Ivy tried to worm her way of the situation. She was definitely not confident enough to sing in front of all of those people. Ivy turned to face Finn, annoyance plastered over her once-docile features. "Please." The teen pleaded with a pout in his lips. 'How could I say no to a face like that? He looks like a lost puppy.' She asked herself. "Fine." She reluctantly agreed. Ivy thought of songs that she could sing to the men. She needed something to get them riled up but not too rowdy.

"I'm checking my vital signs, Drawing my battle lines, Going to war again, Feeling the rhythm inside of my chest,"

It was a strange genre of song that most of the men had not heard before. They bobbed their heads to Ivy's song. Towards the end of the song, she directed her words at Finn.

"These words that I write are for someone like me To know you're not alone The moves that you make, yeah, they come with mistakes Don't ever lose your hope Just know, you were born for this,"

Ivy's head became heavy, the closer they got to Epsom. Her eyes began to close and her head sank onto Finn's shoulder. When they got to close, Finn lightly shook her shoulder, "Ivy, you need to wake up now. Tom says you can get dressed in here, no one will watch." She agreed to his proposition, although she wasn't sure how true his words were. All of the men left the van and Tommo came in, a white dress, grey coat and small heels in his hand. "Here you go Ivy. Be as quick as you can." He left the car and closed the flap behind him. Ivy quickly removed her clothes and threw on the new dress. She kept her thigh holster strapped to her leg though, just in case she needed to use her gun. Luckily, the overcoat Tom had given her covered her the small bulge on her thigh from the gun. The girl climbed out of the car to be met with everyone waiting for her. "Good, it fits," Tommo said. The scenery outside was green, Fields stretched as far as the eye could see, it was peaceful. "Gentlemen, and Ivy, today we are not fucking about. I hope you've all obeyed instructions and brought loaded firearms with you," Ivy's mind was cast to the gun that rested on her thigh, she wasn't told and she still complied to orders. All of the men raised their guns in the air to show that, they too, had followed orders. "Good. You will all know that if you are lifted on a racetrack these days with a loaded weapon, you get twenty years,"

Worry seeped through Ivy's veins, her life would be ruined if she got caught. "That's alright, today you won't get lifted. Because, today, there will be no coppers around to lift you. At exactly three o'clock, there will be an incident in the owner's enclosure and all the coppers on the track will be diverted, all of them." Curiosity filled Ivy, 'Tommo and his plans.' She thought to herself."They'll be looking for someone. You will be free to operate at will."

"Looking for what?" Arthur asked the question in everyone's mind. "Me, they will be looking for me. Now, while the coppers are busy with me, you will make your move on Sabini's pitches. You confiscate his takings, you destroy his licenses and you do it at gunpoint. He usually has police protection so he won't be armed. We should aim to complete the takeover without a shot being fired, understood?" Various grunts and nods came from the men and Ivy. "And remember, the licenses are more important than the takings. Alright, before the fun begins, you can all lay ten bob on Nom De Guerre. I hear she's gonna win," Cheers went round the group and John walked around the men collecting the bets. "Only beer beforehand, boys. There will be time for rum and whiskey after. And remember, do not make a move until three, when the coppers leave. That's all." Everybody began to filter into their own conversations. Arthur turned to Tommy and John was collecting the last of the bets. "It looks nice." Ivy heard a voice behind her. She spun around to be met with a tall ginger boy, Finn. A small blush crept onto the girl's face. "Thanks," She said. "Are you nervous, about the races?" Finn seemed restless as he jumped about on his feet."Tommy doesn't let me do anything so no, not really."

"You're lying." Ivy simply told him. "What? No I'm-yes I am." Finn gave up with protesting and agreed to lying. "Everything's gonna be okay, Finn." She reassured him and pulled the boy into a short hug. He wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and squeezed. He always felt safe when he was with her.

The Epsom races were beautiful. Colours of all kinds scattered the landscape. People of all shapes and sizes were dotted around the racetrack, all wearing their best clothes for the event. The Peaky Blinders walked in, all firearms hidden from view. Everybody separated, some going to the racetrack, some going to the bar. Finn and Ivy took a walk around Epsom. Well, they followed John and Arthur and were told to not stray far from them. They walked into the bar and waited for three o'clock. Nerves had gradually built up in the two teenagers, even Ivy was scared now. Ivy's mind raced, thoughts of her father drifted in and out of her head. She thought that he would've been angrier or more forceful but maybe it was because he was scared of Tommo. "What did Tom mean when he said that Michael had 'more to offer you'?" Finn lent over to Ivy and whispered in her ear. Her heart dropped. The last thing that she needed that day was Finn to know that she had slept with Michael. "I don't know, Finn." She replied solemnly. She genuinely didn't know what he had meant but she had her suspicions. "Are you two, like..." He trailed off but put his hands together. "No, no, absolutely not. He's my boss. Tommo probably just meant more work or something." Ivy tried to lie to her friend but she wasn't sure she was that convincing. Ivy was still awkward around him because they had almost kissed, sober, and about what Ada had said. "Are you sur-" Tom came into the bar and marched over to Ivy, cutting Finn off mid-sentence. "Ivy, your mother is here. She wants to see you." Her eyebrows furrowed and her heart rate raced. "What?" Thomas dragged the girl away from her friend and his brothers and over to the owner's enclosure.

The pair walked in, horses surrounded them. Ivy looked around for her mother. She hoped that Joe was there as well but she knew that she was just getting her hopes up. "Mum!" She shouted when she saw her. May rushed over to her daughter and engulfed her in a warm hug. She finally felt safe again. "I'll give you two some time alone." Tom left the stables to attend to other business. "I'm sorry I had to leave you yesterday." Ivy apologised. "You don't need to say sorry, you didn't have a choice," May reassured her. Ivy looked around the stables, looking for Joe. "If you're looking for Joseph, he'll be here soon. He's just been to check on something for me."

The pair waited for a couple of minutes for Ivy's brother to come back. They talked about life with the Shelby's and what Ivy was up to these days. She left out the part about seeing her dad that morning and the affair with Michael a few nights before. "Joey!" Ivy shouted at her brother as he came through the door. He dropped the bucket he was holding and rushed over to his sister. "Ivy, what are you doing here?" They beamed at each other and May watched her children's interaction. "I'm here with the Shelby's. The dark haired man you saw yesterday." Ivy saw the confused look on his face when she mentioned the Shelby's so she explained herself. The three of them went back to their previous conversation but Joe joined in and added his own personal facts into it "Wait, Joe goes to school?" Ivy asked her family, shocked by what her brother had just said. "It's a medical college for young teens." May told her daughter. Ivy would be lying if she said she wasn't impressed. "Are you sure that we're talking about the same Joe?" Ivy asked and her mother laughed in response. "Yes. He's actually quite clever, I don't know where he got it from."

"You two do know I am right here, right?" Joe asked his sister and mum. The trio chuckled lightly at his annoyance. "Yes, Joe," She ruffled her brother's hair. "He probably got it from you though, mum. Definitely not dad." Ivy's voice wavered when she mentioned her father.

"Why not Dad?" Joe asked curiously. She paused, unsure of whether her mother would want her to tell him. May nodded, giving her permission to do so."Dad is- he's um. He's done some bad things." Ivy struggled for words, not wanting Joe to worry about anything. He was too young to know what happened. “What do you mean?" Joe's innocent blue eyes beamed in the light of the stables. Tears threatened to fall down Ivy's face, painful memories ran through her head. "He's a bad person, Joe. And a violent one at that."

"Ivy, did he..." Joe's sentence trailed off, he was too scared to say the words out loud but he thought he knew what his sister was hinting at. Ivy nodded and a single tear slipped out of her mother's eyes. “But he only did it because of his temper. I don’t want you to think of him any differently.” The pair embraced her in a hug, comforting her for what she had been through.

The hug was cut short when a loud crash was heard behind them. Ivy stood up immediately, wanting to protect her family if the origin of the noise was dangerous. Luckily, it wasn't. Ivy walked around the corner of the stables to be met with Finn, face first on the floor. “Finn. What are you doing?" She asked, unimpressed by his actions. "I uh tripped and um fell." He got up from the floor and Ivy helped him brush off any hay that was stuck to him. The girl failed to keep her annoyed facade though. She giggled at him and Finn looked at the girl, a timid smile upon his lips. "You're an idiot." She chuckled lightly. Her hands rested on his shoulders, his on her waist and they stood there in silence. The only sound was the occasional neigh of a horse from one of the boxes. A cough sounded from next to the couple. Ivy's head snapped towards her brother, the noise came from him. The girl's hands slipped off of her friend's shoulders and Finn's came off of her waist. "Ivy, who's this?" Joseph asked, drawing out each one of his words.

Ivy coughed, slightly embarrassed at what was happening. "This is Finn. Finn Shelby. He's Tommy's younger brother." May flinched when Ivy mentioned Tom's name but smiled at her daughter. She was glad that she was making good friends, especially with males. She wanted her daughter to find real love, something that she was unable to do. "We should get back to the horse," May told the pair. "It was nice meeting you, Finn." She said and nudged Joe's arm to prompt him to do the same. "It was nice meeting you. Be nice to your girlfriend, that's my sister." The boy shouted as he walked back to the horses.

A not-so-subtle blush appeared on both teenager's faces. "He's not my boyfriend." Ivy practically whispered. "You should come and stay with us soon." May said and hugged her daughter as a final goodbye for now. Ivy and Finn stood awkwardly in the middle of the Owner's enclosure, not sure what to do next. "Finn, why are you here?" The girl turned to her friend. "Oh, it's almost three o'clock." The pair started to walk back to the bar where they were to meet with John and Arthur.

"Did you hear any of that? Back there, about my father?" Ivy nervously bit her fingernails, she wasn't ready for Finn to know about the horrors in her past. "A bit, yeah." They didn't look at each other whilst they spoke. "Promise not to tell anyone," Ivy stopped walking but Finn carried on. The girl reached for his arm. "Finn, promise not to tell anyone. Please." She warned but held her pinky finger out. "Okay."

xv. DISOBEYING ORDERS

MASTERLIST

#finn shelby #harry kirton #michael gray #finn cole #smut #fluff #angst #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #alfie solomons #treat you better

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riverboundao3ff · 4 years

Text

Riverbound, Chapter 16

You are THE GUARDIAN and it is currently Sad Bitch Hours.

It’s not like you were expecting Zebruh to do a complete one-eighty, see the light, and join the rebellion, but you definitely weren’t counting on him trying to lock you in one of his rooms and almost give you a concussion in the process. Granted, you could have easily just zapped out, but still. Why wouldn’t he just listen?

Your arms hurt where his claws pierced your skin. With your luck they’d be infected by morning, if not sooner.

“You okay, robobuddy?”

Mallek’s striking blue eyes are soft and full of concern when you look up at him, and it fills you with guilt. This guy threw hands with an indigoblood for you and he’s asking if you’re okay?

“... Yeah. Just tired.” You lean against him, ignoring the drying salt on your face from your tears. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“Nah. Just a little scratched up.”

You nod.

“No concussion?”

“I don’t think so.”

A loud whoop pulls you from your pity party and back into the real world, and you look up to see Diemen Xicali waving at you from down the sidewalk. Leaning on him is the little kid, looking a bit shocked by everything that had just happened but thankfully much less injured than two nights ago. Zebruh must have let her use a medicalizer to heal her broken leg; her calf is still bruised up but she’s putting weight on it. By her side is some kind of oversized rodent lusus.

“Guys that was crazy!” he shouts joyfully, hauling the poor kid with him as he makes his way over to you and Mallek. You two meet him halfway with the rest of the group close behind.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Mallek demands.

“Not really. He just… wouldn’t let us leave. Said that we owed him for letting us take shelter at his hive. Also, his lusus is frickin’ terrifying,” Diemen complains. He hisses under his breath, which surprises you because you’ve never, ever heard him make a noise like that before. “If I ever see him again it’ll be too soon.”

The girl is staring at you in the way little kids like to stare at things, so you smile and do your best to appear as non-threatening as possible. You’re a mess from getting roughed up by Zebruh, but Daraya is still holding her new black eye from getting kicked by a pissed-off horse lusus, so at least you’re not alone.

“And alien! I can’t believe you’re alive! I’d give you a hug, but…” Diemen pats the kid’s shoulder and shrugs.

“Don’t even worry about it. I missed you too, dude,” you tell him warmly. Man, the look on his face when you two saw each other in Zebruh’s living room was priceless. Luckily, Zebruh had been way too distracted by ranting about some new rustblood singer to notice you desperately signaling him to stay quiet, or else you would have totally blown your cover.

The rodent lusus squeaks, looking up to the girl, who startles and then nods. “T-Thanks for saving us.

“I was glad to. We all are,” you promise.

“As long as I never have to get kicked in the fucking face again,” Daraya mutters.

Lanque scoffs. “At least you didn’t get bucked off and thrown clear across the hive.”

“Oh, shut up--”

“Anyways,” you say loudly, “Good job tonight, everybody.”

“Would have been better if I got to rip Codakk’s bulge off and shove it down his THROAT,” Konyyl growls.

“Kinky,” Azdaja says. Tyzias snorts and Stelsa smacks her shoulder in disgust.

“Guys, there’s a kid present,” you remind them patiently before turning back to Diemen. “Let’s go get oblong meat products sometime, okay?”

“You bet!”

Mallek ends up going with him and the kid to make sure they get back to their neighborhood in one piece, and Konyyl and Azdaja split off after making you promise them you’ll be around for flavordisk dinner next wipe. Polypa does the same; apparently Tegiri texted her with an urgent request to come to his hive immediately. Knowing ‘Giri, the poor guy probably finished another sad-ass anime and needed somebody to help pick out a new series to watch.

The teals walk you and the jades as far as the city limits before turning back to go to class. Apparently, this was one lecture they all really wanted to attend because it has something to do with the history of several legislations passed concerning the limited income provided for lowbloods, specifically up to the olive caste.

“The more we know about systemic oppression, the more we can do to fight it,” Tyzias growls determinedly. “I’ll tell you later how many controversial questions I got to ask before I get kicked out of the class group chat.”

“That’s kind of badass,” Daraya says with a small smile.

“You’re risking your marks, babe,” Stelsa frets. “I mean, it’s admirable, I just worry.”

“My marks will survive. All that extra credit I did is gonna save my ass, don’t worry,” Tyzias assures her. Stelsa seems pacified for the time being, but as soon as her back is turned Tyzias winks at Daraya before strolling off with her matesprit and Tagora.

Daraya’s face flushes jade until her entire face is dark, much to your delight.

As soon as your other friends are out of earshot Lanque is on her like fleas on a stray dog. “My, my, Daraya, are you feeling well? Your face is so green!”

“I’ll teleport us back to the caverns so Lanque can take your temperature,” you jump in, smacking the backside of your hand to her forehead as if feeling for a fever. “You’re not nauseous or anything, right? No loss of appetite?”

Daraya smacks your hand away with a snarl and stomps off to the cavern trail, making Lanque laugh so loud it echoes off the mountainside.

You grin and chase after the younger jadeblood, coming up on her left side. “Come on, dude, tell me how it's going! Have you told her yet?”

“Shut up! No, not yet, I haven’t-- it’s gonna happen, Bombyx, don’t give me that look! We’re just… busy right now! I’m a leader!” Daraya hisses, trying and failing to squirm away from you and Lanque.

“Exactly why you should tell her as soon as possible! Imagine how much better you two might lead together if you were moirails,” Lanque argues.

“You two are perfect for each other,” you sing, grinning at her.

“And Stelsa likes you, which is a bonus.”

“Oh, yeah, I definitely wouldn’t wanna be on Stelsa’s bad side. Look, we just want you to know that we support you no matter what--”

“And that there’s no time like the present.”

You signal Lanque to hold off for a second and pat Daraya’s arm. “We just want you to be happy. You deserve it more than anybody.”

“Except for Wanshi,” Lanque interjects.

“I’d gladly kill somebody for Wanshi,” you agree wholeheartedly. “But are ya picking up what we’re laying down?”

Daraya looks unsure of herself, crossing her arms and hunching in on herself, just a bit. “Do you really think she likes me back?”

You look to Lanque for support, and he nods. “She most definitely does. You don’t see the way she looks at you when you have your back turned.”

Something like hope warms her dark eyes, and she walks with her head held a little higher all the way back to the caverns.

Sneaking back in is pretty easy-- you just zap yourself and the jades to Lanque’s room, the owner of which then kicking you and Daraya out so he can take a nap.

“Ugh. I was hoping I’d get some excuse to not come back here until tomorrow so I don’t have to I.D grubs. Shit takes forever,” she groans as you two walk along a stone path.

From what you remember, I.D-ing grubs involved giving them a sign, recording their weight and blood color, and setting them free in the main caverns to be chosen by a lusus. You’ve helped out a couple of times with Bronya in the past with I.D stuff. Of course she didn’t let you do any of the actual recording, because she’s a perfectionist like that and wanted to do everything herself, but she did have you hold fussy grubs to calm them down so she could work in peace.

“I’ve done that a few times with Bronya. I’ll help you,” you offer.

“Really?”

“Yeah, dude, let’s go.”

She seems a bit less grouchy after that, and even calls a particular plump indigoblood grub you come across a “mega-thick boy”.

Being in the main caverns has always been a game of Russian roulette for you, as drones came and went all the time and stayed on nearly constantly after a new brood hatches. For your own safety you usually just help out in Bronya’s secret nursery, but if you’re feeling extra brave like you are tonight then you take your chances. Besides, after what happened earlier you need to snuggle some babies to get that sweet, sweet serotonin.

You follow Daraya to a natural pocket in the cave wall, where a cluster of eggs was placed. To your delight, two are hatching and one little goldblood is already wiggling around on its back, squeaking irritably as it tries to roll over again and again, failing each time.

“Hang in there, buddy,” you say, reaching in and flipping them over to their stomach. They stop crying and blink up at you with giant yellow eyes. You chuckle and gently scratch under their chin, which makes them give a barely-audible rickety purr.

“Grab her for me,” Daraya says, searching through the nearby lockers before pulling out a scale, binder, and pen.

You scoop up the goldblood and hold her still as Daraya checks her over before scribbling something down in the binder. “So how do you tell which ones are male and which ones are female? They all look the same.”

Her thick brows furrow in confusion. “Uh, their scent? Boys smell a little like rainwater, girls are kind of smokey. Also, girls are bigger.”

You sniff the goldblood. “Smells like cave to me.”

Daraya rolls her eyes, but the corner of her lips are twitching up. “So if you can’t see in the dark, or hear that well, or smell, how are you even alive?”

“If I had a caegar for every time somebody asked me that I’d be able to buy a tank to shoot a big fat hole in Her Imperious Bitchface’s left asscheek.”

“A rebel can dream. Set her on the scale.”

You set the goldblood on the scale. Daraya records her weight and releases her into the wild, or at least into the main cavern.

“Good luck,” you call after her.

“If luck’s on her side, she might not need it when she grows up,” Daraya says, almost to herself.

You both fall into a routine with the next couple of grubs. There’s a rustblood, then a bronzeblood, and after a couple of minutes another egg hatches to reveal an olive. All three are recorded and set off into the unknown. Every time, you ask the universe to look favorably upon them, because there isn’t much else you can do at the moment.

If anything, let them be loved.

“You look like you need to fart,” Daraya tells you after she releases a particularly feisty cerulean girl. “Which means you’re thinking about something.”

You pout. “Yeah, well, your eyeliner is smudged.”

“I smudge it on purpose so everybody can really see the bags underneath my eyes and know that my last fuck has long since departed to the afterlife.”

“That’s valid. If you have to know, I’m trying to telepathically communicate to the grubs that I love them and that they’ll do amazing things when they get older,” you explain.

“... I was trying to be funny, but that’s actually really sweet.” She stares down at the squirming teal grub in her arms. “I wish I could do that.”

“Be telepathic?”

“No. Have enough love for everybody.”

You sigh, leaning back against the cold stone. Above you, bioluminescent fungi glows blue and white in the darkness. “Daraya, I think the fact that you’re leading a rebellion to make the world a better place shows that you’re more than capable of love.”

“But I’m doing it because I’m angry. I hate this place.”

“Why? Because it’s oppressive and unfair and traumatizing?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Exactly. When we’re strong enough to show Alternia who we are and what we stand for, don’t you think there’s gonna be millions of kids like you who realize that they deserve better? Or, if they already know, might finally have the courage to do something about it?”

Daraya sets the grub down and watches it scamper off. “You amaze me. Sometimes you do stupid shit like that one time you got really drunk with Lanque at a party and I had to stop you guys from jumping off the roof of somebody’s hive and into their pool. Sometimes you say stuff so incredibly deep and comforting it makes me think some great cosmic force sent you here to make everybody’s lives just a little bit better.”

You swallow back something hard in your throat. “To be fair, I can swim just fine.”

“Uh-huh. But Lanque can’t.”

Fuck’s sake, why can’t you just tell her? She should know what you are, what you’re capable of, the lengths you’re going, will go to save Alternia. They all should know.

Every single one of your friends so far have been completely overjoyed to have you back. The more time passes, however, the more you feel like you don’t deserve them anymore. You know that one day they’re going to find out. It’s only a matter of time before you accidentally let something slip or have to explain why you have so much power over the fabric of reality itself.

You open your mouth before you can wimp out, fully intent on telling Daraya everything, but when you turn to address her she’s staring down at the tiniest rustblood you’ve ever seen. The thing is no bigger than one of your feet. They’re on the scale, but Daraya isn’t writing anything down. She doesn’t even look like she’s breathing.

“Daraya? You okay?” you ask, concerned. Crap, did you give the poor kid an existential crisis?

“... He’s too small.”

You push off the wall and stride over to her. “Huh?”

She takes a short breath. “He’s too small. He doesn’t meet the weight requirement for male rustbloods. I… I’m supposed to…”

Realization hits you like a crowbar to the face. Your stomach rolls as you look down at this tiny baby, who’s chirping indignantly at being removed from his warm nest.

“He… but he looks completely healthy. He’s moving around and responding to stimuli and everything,” you get out.

“A grub can be healthy and still need to be culled. The Empire doesn’t want runts. Neither do lusii,” Daraya explains tonelessly. “The only reason Karako’s alive is because Bronya raised him herself. Even then, if he makes it to adulthood it’ll be a fucking miracle.”

The thought of Karako at the end of a culling fork makes you want to throw up. “Then I’ll take him to Bronya.”

“You do realize that he still might not make it?”

“Yeah. But that’s what we’re here for, right?”

Daraya nods and hands you the grub. “Don’t come here after you’re done. The drones will be coming back for the day soon.”

“Got it.”

You zap out of there and hope that teleportation won’t give the baby some form of developmental disability.

As you suspected, the lights are on underneath the door to Bronya’s nursery. Glancing up and down the corridor to make sure nobody’s around to see what you’re doing, you carefully tuck the grub into the pocket of your hoodie and knock.

Quiet footsteps approach the door from the other side. You wave at the peephole.

The lock clicks, and Bronya opens the door with a warm smile. Everything suddenly feels a little more manageable. “What a surprise! I’ve been hoping you’d stop by.”

“Hi, Bronya,” you say, stepping in and shutting the door behind you. “Sorry I haven’t been able to come by sooner. Geez, you vanish off the face of the planet for half a sweep and suddenly you’re everybody’s favorite alien.”

“Well, you can hardly blame them, can you?” Bronya tuts. At the table across from the slime pools, she types in something to her husktop before shutting it. “Wanshi cried for ages after you were gone. She was absolutely convinced you were dead in a ditch somewhere, the poor thing.”

“Aw, Bronya, don’t make me feel even more guilty.”

She grins at you. “Just teasing. I’m almost finished wrapping everything up for the day, but you’re more than welcome to hold the grubs if you want.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that. Unfortunately, I think I’m about to add even more to your workload.” With a sigh, you bring out the tiny rustblood and present him to her.

Bronya’s eyes widen, and in a flash she’s right in front of you, nearly making you crap your pants. You’d forgotten how fast trolls can move when they really want to. “He didn’t meet the weight requirement, I assume?”

“No. Other than that he seems perfectly healthy, he’s just…” You chuckle nervously. “He’s really frickin’ tiny.”

You hand him over to her before she can get too itchy about not holding him. She cuddles him to her chest with the softest expression you’ve ever seen. It makes you wonder about how some trolls thrive on nothing but violence but others live to take care of others. On Alternia, is it nature or nurture that makes a person?

“He’s beautiful.” She looks up at you with shining dark green eyes. “Thank you for saving him. I can’t name many others even in the caverns who would have done the same.”

“Daraya’s the one who found him, so… can’t take all of the credit.” Wow, is it hot in here or is it just you?

“Well, I’m glad she made a good choice, even if by our society’s standards it wasn’t the right one,” Bronya tells you as she sets the grub down in one of the slime pools. The other inhabitants, three other rusts, a goldblood, and two bronzes roll over and accept him into their cuddle pile without hesitation.

“Yeah. Sometimes the good choice and the right choice just aren’t the same thing,” you mumble, watching an indigoblood in the adjacent pool kick their little legs in their sleep.

Bronya nods. She looks tired as she sits down heavily at the table, and you want to tell her to go get some rest, but you can tell there’s something on her mind.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” you ask.

She hesitates, looking almost ashamed before drawing herself upright and exhaling quietly. “... Actually, yes. I’m afraid you’re the only person I can trust enough to do this.”

You sit down across from her, looking her in the eyes to make sure she knows you’re being serious for once. “You can talk to me, Bronya. And I promise I’m not making pale advances or anything, because I’m already one-hundred percent taken.”

That gets a smile out of her. “Thank you. You have no idea how much I missed having a listening ear like yours.”

“My hearing might be terrible by troll standards, but I’ll try my absolute best.”

“... It started not long after you… disappeared. Daraya began acting… strangely,” Bronya begins. “She’s always been a bit of a lone wolf, but this was something different. She’d vanish for half a night, and then eventually she wouldn’t be back until the sun was coming up. She fell behind in her duties. Of course I did my best to be understanding, she looked up to you more than anybody-- she still does, even if she’ll never say it. We all missed you terribly.”

You nod. You’ve got an awful suspicion as to where this is going, but you don’t want to entertain the thought that Bronya would ask you to do… what you think she’s going to ask you to do.

“She got a little better with time, but that didn’t change her little vanishing act. I tried to get her to talk to me, which went as well as one thought it would. Then I tried to stop her from leaving. That went even worse.”

“Daraya’s got a hell of a temper,” you say.

“That she does. Then, a couple of perigees in, Lanque started doing the same thing. Leaving at odd hours, coming back smelling of strange places. Thankfully they finally got their act together concerning their responsibilities around here, which I thought would be a turning point for them, but… they just wouldn’t stop!” Bronya hisses, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Clouds are white, the grass is purple, and jadebloods aren’t allowed to leave the caverns. Three simple facts of life, and yet those two insist on ignoring the latter!”

“Were they happier?” you ask.

Bronya blinks, confused. “What?”

“I get that ignoring their responsibilities must have been a massive pain in the rear, but what about after they figured it out? Did their mental health benefit from going to the surface?”

She looks down at you like you just asked her why the Alternian sun is hot. “From an outsider’s perspective it must seem harsh, I know. But a jadeblood’s purpose isn’t to be happy. It’s to ensure the continuation of our species.”

“So… do you want me to try and get them to stop? Because I’m gonna tell you right now that’s not gonna work. Both Daraya and Lanque are very strong and I am very small,” you tell her.

“Of course not. The thing is, they both trust you very much, possibly more than their fellow jadebloods. Which is why I want you to keep going with them when they sneak out, and then I want you to tell me what they’ve been up to this whole time.”

For the second time tonight you’re struck speechless.

“I know it’s a terrible favor to have to request of you. But I’m afraid I have no other choice. Lanque and Daraya’s loyalty and priorities have become completely skewed over the perigees and as head jade, it’s my duty to steer them back on course,” Bronya declares.

“... Right.”

A nobler version of you would stand up and angrily, but politely tell Bronya that there was no way that you’d ever betray your friends’ privacy like that. You would tell her that you value her as a friend and thank her for letting you stay and work here whenever you felt like. Then, you would explain that as much as you’ve come to respect her, you simply cannot do this for her.

What you do instead is to swallow back your sadness and say, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Bronya looks so happy and relieved you nearly make a break for it in utter shame. “Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I knew that you’d always be brave enough to do the right thing.”

But the right thing isn’t always a good thing! you want to cry.

She sees you out after that, a comforting hand on the small of your back. She tells you to rest well and that everything is going to be okay.

The second she closes her respiteblock door you start to cry as quietly as possible. You walk down the corridor, and when you’re sure she’s out of earshot you take off running. Everybody else is already back in their rooms, which you’re grateful for so nobody can see your pathetic ass having an anxiety attack while sprinting like fucking Usain Bolt.

You want to go curl up in Lynera’s study and cry yourself to sleep, but you’re already keeping one too many secrets from the people you care about so much. You’re not going to be a coward about this, even if it means starting the shitshow to end all shitshows, even if it means losing one of your oldest friends.

You take a moment to catch your breath in a supply closet, and then you go find Lanque.

#hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim trolls #pesterquest #hometuck #riverbound #mspa reader #the guardian #c16

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songsorter28 · 4 years

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Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be.

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices:

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez.

Now, on a more personal note.

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong).

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg).

Wow, that was long. At essence, it was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single.

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d) My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

#Blackpink Jisoo Jennie Rosé Lisa TheAlbum The Album AlbumReview Album Review Kpop

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mortuarybees · 5 years

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What other mitski songs do you relate to aziraphale/crowley?

anon god bless you for this question and for asking it at 4:30 am. i don’t know what youve seen so im just gonna list all of them and you’re getting a paragraph for each. you have no idea what youve asked me for i have been spiraling into christian angelology and yelling headcanons into my chat with @femmeaziraphale while they sleep for hours and i am Full Of Feelings about them and, always, about mitski

I Want You - THE quintessential Crowley Yearning song. Aziraphale is literally in the bookshop and Crowley is literally in the car and bursting at the seams with how much he loves him and how much he wants to say it and all the reasons he can’t. // “You're coming back / And it's the end of the world / We're starting over / And I love you darling / And I am done, dear / You're in the house / And I am here in the car / I just need a quiet place / Where I can scream / How I love you.”

I Will - okay. okay. so the cosmic truth of the matter is that crowley is constantly putting on a brave face because he thinks he has to, and because what aziraphale needs, often, is for crowley to allow him to be soft in the way heaven won’t. but crowley needs a place to lay his head down and rest, and i am convinced and you cannot change my mind that while crowley has been making grand romantic gestures for six thousand years, when aziraphale finally gets it together and lets himself express the love he feels, he’s the one who knows how to reach out and show crowley love in the small and gentle ways he needs and deserves. // “I will take good care of you / Everything you’ll feel is good / If you would only let you / I will wash your hair at night / And dry it off with care / I will see your body bare / And still I will live here ; Stay with me / Hold my hand / There's no need / To be brave / And while you sleep / I'll be scared / So by the time you wake / I'll be brave.”

Strawberry Blond - it‘s so them that i wrote a whole goddamn fic bc it made me so wild. They both love humanity, they love the world, and they love each other most of all, and so much of that love of Earth is tied up in what they get to experience with each other on it. and also, obviously, they are pining after each other for three whole millennia. They picture it soft, and they ache!!! // “I love everybody / Because I love you / I don't need the city, and I / Don't need proof / All I need, darling / Is a life in your shape / I picture it soft, / And I ache.”

Me and My Husband - does it need to be said? They’re sticking together, in this lifetime and every other. They bet everything--literally, everything--on each other. They both feel inadequate wherever they are; not a very good angel and not a very good demon, and neither of them entirely human. In Heaven or Hell, they are the idiot with the painted face in the corner taking up space, but with each other, they are loved, they are loved. “It's always been just him and me / Together / So I bet all I have on that / Furrowed brow / And at least in this lifetime / We're sticking together / Me and my husband.”

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart - The Aziraphale Realization Song. Crowley waited six thousand years for Aziraphale to throw over Heaven, and come. Internalized homophobia Emotional abuse Brainwashing is a hell of a drug, but I truly believe that Aziraphale has been in love since the beginning, and he’s been cultivating that love for six thousand years waiting for the moment he could show it. // “There's nobody better than you / It took me a while till I knew / But you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? / It just took me a while till I knew / Now I lay as I study a blank wall / Would you spare me your voice if I call? / 'Cause you waited and watered my heart till it grew.”

Two Slow Dancers - two slow dancers is fundamentally about mortality and the passage of time, but in another, much realer sense, it’s about how Aziraphale and Crowley come together and go apart over six thousand years. They meet, and they remember suddenly every moment that came before, and then they have to part again. But they always return and return again because they are just two slow dancers! The last ones out! // “It's funny how you always remember / And we've both done it all a hundred times before / It's funny how I still forget ; But as it is and it is / We're just two slow dancers, last ones out / We're two slow dancers, last ones out.”

Pink in the Night - okay like it’s literally about someone so in love that they’re glowing with it and does that not describe every single expression they have when they look at each other. This song feels particularly ‘that trope where Aziraphale and Crowley kiss, but because they are incapable of communicating like normal people they agree that it was a mistake or they’re drunk and pretend they don’t remember it and ignore it for centuries convinced that it meant nothing to the other.’ This is the whole damn song. // “I glow pink in the night in my room / I've been blossoming alone over you / And I hear my heart breaking tonight / Do you hear it too? / It's like a summer shower / With every drop of rain singing / "I love you, I love you, I love you” / I could stare at your back all day / And I know I've kissed you before, but / I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again / And again, and again, and again?

Washing Machine Heart - Crowley is extremely ‘you want to perform valiant deeds to earn his admiration, to save him from certain death, to die for him, to die in his arms like a Spartan, kissed once on the lips.’ Crowley has been desperately in love for six thousand years and aware of every moment of it, and he is also very dramatic, and he is also very much under the impression that Aziraphale is in some way deluded about him, that he’s pretending that Crowley is someone he isn’t--that face he makes when Aziraphale says he forgives him even after he says he’s unforgivable by nature, how angry he gets when Aziraphale calls him nice. // “Baby, will you kiss me already, and / Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart / Baby, bang it up inside. / Baby, though I've closed my eyes / I know who you pretend I am.”

Francis Forever - I think it’s very obvious that Aziraphale is most comfortable--only truly comfortable--when he’s with Crowley. He is enthusiastic and expressive with Crowley or talking about Crowley in a way he really isn’t with anyone else, and he’s fussy and bitchy with him in a way he isn’t with anyone else either because he’s comfortable showing the less pleasant parts of himself (of course, in both cases, when he’s under stress, he lets a bit more of himself through). And of course, Crowley doesn’t much care with God, or Hell, or humanity thinks about him, but he very much does care about what Aziraphale thinks of him. I think in both of their cases, they don’t really need the world to see them: they need someone to see them as they truly are, all their good parts and bad, and accept them for it, and love them for it. They don’t need the world’s approval, they just need to be known. “I don't know what to do without you / I don't know where to put my hands / I've been trying to lay my head down / But I'm writing this at 3 AM / I don't need the world to see / That I've been the best I can be, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me.”

It is now almost six am and there is a hellacious storm outside and the power has surged twice while i was writing this and i am absolutely wild!!

#thank you!#for this question!#ahhfhhh!!!!!!!!#henry speaks #good omens #mitski #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #Anonymous #jams

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slxyangel · 5 years

Text

Pain and Noise (Duff x Reader)

Summary: I was fed up with just about everything that constituted my life, so I started playing.

Warnings: Unprotected sex, mentions of violence, swearing, panic attack.

Wordcount: Almost 5k

A/N: First fic I ever write, I am nervous and this was originally in Spanish, so be nice with my best try of a translation. Enjoy :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

Masterlist: https://slxyangel.tumblr.com/post/189625800403/masterlist

The pain in the back of my hands was intense, searing, and growing worse with every minute I spent holding the drumsticks and unloading my rage over the drums in the studio. The accumulated tension stiffened my fingers, the muscles in my arms were numb and it had been a while since I started feeling my nails spiking my own skin because of the pressure I was putting on it. I didn’t care; I preferred to feel that rather than the anguish that had been threatening to rip off my chest these last few weeks. I don’t know how much time I spent like that. What I do remember is the pain. And the noise.

I also remember sitting on the stool during a little while the guys were out, I’m not sure what for, maybe to grab some food or take a break. They had been working on the album for months, and these days of polishing, re-recording, fixing and tuning everything up for the final version were being especially hard; they deserved a breather. “And so do I”, I told myself while I held Steven’s drumsticks and gave it a second thought, maybe it wasn’t a good idea. He, as any other percussionist, didn’t like it when someone else fiddled with his instrument, not to mention if it happened without him being around to control it. I could only hope that he didn’t show up in that very moment and caught me, because I don’t think I would have the strength to explain him every thought that was circling my head the moment I decided to play his drums, and even less not to drown the whole story with my tears. I mean, come on, it was only going to be a little while.

I had been working with the band practically since the recording process for Appetite for Destruction began. I was in my last year of university, and needed an internship to complete my learning agreement, and, I still can’t comprehend how, my best friend’s father got me plugged-in in Geffen Records. They were the ones who decided that the best option for an audiovisuals student was in the recordings for a young rock band’s debut album. This is how I ended up being Mike Clink’s personal assistant and hanging out with Axl, Slash, Izzy, Duff and Steven. The chemistry had been practically automatic, I got along with them pretty quick and, even though I started being basically the coffee girl, I was always very comfortable in such a creative and carefree environment.

I remember those first days in which Mark, my boyfriend, used to drive me to the studio in his car. I could drive, of course, but my new job seemed almost more exciting for him than it did for me, so he insisted in getting me there, picking me up and making me tell him every little detail of my brand-new work life. He was thrilled when I told him how I had spent twenty minutes of my first day talking with Slash and he had shown interest about my studies, my reasons to be there and my general life. “If we’re gonna work together, we might as well be friends”, he said. The guy told me that he had a snake, that his parents were artists and that’s why he had always been so involved with music. He also said he got his first guitar when he was 15 and that he and the guys ended up together out of sheer coincidence, but they had realized they were the perfect combination, so they were really excited about their new project. It was there that I realized I was in the right place and, even if, worst case scenario, the rest of the band hated me, at least I had a new friend.

However, my worries couldn’t be any more unfounded. Once I had talked to Saul, the rest of it went smoothly. Axl was quite a character, for instance, a guy you felt like looking at. Wherever he was (because he couldn’t stand still for a second), your eyes would be glued to him. He had an enviable magnetism no matter what he did: singing one of their songs, bringing order to the mixing desk, finishing off half a liter of Jack Daniel’s… He was the kind of person who seems out of reach from every one of us mortals but, deep down, is a cinnamon roll. Our first interactions (mostly his, let’s be honest) were filled with double intentions. In any case, now that I see it in retrospective and compare it with the way he treated other girls, I came to think that this was his way to know women in general, his default mode. Actually, those anecdotes of conversations I had with the vocalist were worth a fair dose of laughing for Mark and me during our more than usual supermarket-pizza, Ben-&-Jerry’s-ice-cream dinners in the flat we shared. Over time, Axl’s phase of blatant flirting with me faded away, making room for a really close friendship between the two of us.

Izzy, on the other hand, treated me almost as if I was an experiment. Do you know the feeling when you arrive to a new school but the year has already started and everybody is curious about you? Well, that was more or less how the guitarist reacted to my incorporation. He had never been too talkative, or, at least, not as much as the rest of them, so my first days with the brunet can be summed up to him joining conversations between me and someone else, to learn a bit more about me without having to ask directly; to my hand-waving gestures and his responses raising his chin or his eyebrows; or to him offering me drags of his cigarette from time to time, while we waited for the rest of the guys to record their tracks so we could all go partying together. It was interesting. It was entertaining. It was even funny to see us unfolding, adapting to each other until we gained full trust. We could argue that his more reserved, almost wary personality and my own, more explosive and versatile, complemented each other as two puzzle pieces; one had what the other lacked.

And, while Izzy complemented me, Steven understood me. We were two peas in a pod: energetic, chaotic and jam-packed with energy. Basically the kids in the team. Like two naughty twins, we loved to terrorize the studio. We threw stuff at each other, we laughed like crazy, we yelled from one corner of the room to the other the dumbest, most absurd shit you could imagine… One of the activities I enjoyed the most was to scare away the chicks from him. Some afternoons when he was chilling on the couch, unaware and concentrated on hitting on whatever girl he had just met, I arrived, seated next to him on the couch and went full on clingy-ass-girlfriend with him: handsy and unbearable. I interrupted the groupie and put up with Steven’s deadly glares until, after a while, the girl took off, sometimes walking towards one of the other guys, sometimes straight to her house. The drummer always got mad at me when I did this to him, but his anger never lasted for more than ten minutes.

And then there was Duff. He was something else, something different. I had never had such a connection with anyone, and even less with anyone I had met for so little time. Duff had his own light, like an extremely bright star, and I was flashed by it but, at the same time, he irradiated a delightful kind of warmth, too nice for me to voluntarily step away. He was fun, he was compassionate, he was sensible, he was a little bit mad and he made everything unspeakably easy. The rest of the band spent their days saying that we should have sex or betting on whether we were or weren’t conscious of the sexual tension they assured was too obvious between us. At first, we either told them to fuck off or went along with it, but without giving it much of a second thought. At the end of the day, I was dating Mark, who I adored, and Duff knew it. We were nothing but friends, like the rest of the guys.

Weeks went by and I kept getting closer and closer with the bassist: we talked about everything and anything, we told each other countless anecdotes from our lives before arriving to L.A., and he even sometimes helped me with the paperwork. More than once, even though smoking was allowed in the studio, the two of us stepped outside to do it, and a break that was meant to last for 10 minutes ended up being one hour long. When this happened, Slash had to come out for him, wielding his guitar and threatening to smash it on his head if he wasn’t back inside in the following fifteen seconds. In fact, some of those days when it took me longer to finish my job he would stick around and offer me a ride home before he headed to the club, so that Mark didn’t have to come pick me up that far that late.

Of course, it was all being too good to be true. The first day this happened, when I arrived home in “some other dude’s car, instead of a fucking taxi”, Mark’s own words, I found a version of my boyfriend that I didn’t like one tiny bit: wary, silent and mean. When I asked what his problem was I already saw the answer coming, but I just refused to believe he was going to get all possessive over such a nonsense, he had never behave like that. That night we went from yelling at each other to the silent treatment in a matter of a few hours, and the next day, when I got to the studio in my own car for the first time since the guys knew me, that place looked like goddamn press conference. They took less than two minutes to notice I was a little bit off, and less than five to tell me “Dump him, fuck Duff”. I couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t broken up with Mark, we had just argued; I would speak to him and we would fix things; that’s what couples did. Bitch, you thought.

For the next few days everything seemed to have turned back to normal: my boyfriend and I were okay, he said he was sorry and begged me to let him apologize by being my chauffeur again. I didn’t quite feel like rocking the boat after that night, so the idea of not driving myself to work didn’t seem that bad, until the days Mark started arriving a little earlier each day. Five minutes, fifteen, half an hour before my cutoff time, as if he had to make sure I went back home with him, as if he had to keep an eye on me. In fact, one of the days in which he arrived with a bigger margin of time, he decided it was a good idea to wait inside the studio while the band was recording, and argued that “it would be a lot more boring to wait in the car”. Over the last days, the guys had noticed how pissed it made me the fact that he was chasing after me, behaving like an asshole and little more than tying a leash around my neck, so Axl stepped up and asked him to leave, since the guy wouldn’t listen to me. I have to admit I was surprised with how calmly the vocalist took the intrusion, taking into account his normally short temper. He told Mark that “it wasn’t his problem if he wanted to be his girlfriend’s chauffeur, but he couldn’t simply burst into a private property as if it was his house, and even less when they were working.” To be honest, that was one hell of a comeback, because if the singer had exposed the real reasons why he wanted him out, the other one would have clutched at straws to the philosophy “She is my girlfriend, you don’t get a saying on this.” But on his argument and on his turf, Axl had the upper hand.

Despite all the efforts, Mark told him to mind his own business and that, if the redhead kicked him out of the studio, he would be behaving like a total dick. Then, as if the destiny was trying its best to fix things, sarcasm be sensed, Duff showed up in the anteroom where we were. As soon as my boyfriend saw him, his eyes started blazing, and it only took the bassist telling him he had to leave and that I was still in my working hours so I wouldn’t go with him, for his fist to connect with Duff’s jaw in a nasty jab. And hell was fucking raised.

Axl pushed Mark, who was holding my arm with the same hand he had punched the blond with two seconds ago. Not letting go of me, he tackled the vocalist, mumbling something I can’t remember. Then he walked towards the front door, grabbing me with him. “Let’s go. Now”, he ordered. His fingers dug into my skin with such anger and despair that I could already feel the bruise forming underneath, and I was half shocked, half scared shitless. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to get in the car with him and I didn’t want any more punches either, but in any case my limbs were not responding to the commands my brain tried to make, whichever they were. It was then that, halfway across the room, before reaching the door, Mark stumbled and fell, finally releasing my arm. The first thing I saw when I lifted my eyes was Duff standing there, with his mouth covered in blood, shaking his right hand once and breathing heavily.

- If you ever touch her again like that, I’ll kill you.

While Mark was trying to get up, Slash stormed in from the recording room. He had seen the events of the last two minutes from his position behind the glass, and he wasn’t going to take any more of that shit. Right before the other one went ballistic attacking the bassist and blood started to hit the fan, Saul grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kicked him, literally, out of the place. Once the metal door had closed between Mark and us, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I vaguely remember I started hyperventilating, on my knees, on the floor, and the sound of punches hitting metal on the outside was all but helping me calm down. As tears streamed down my face and I frantically run my fingers through my hair, a hand started trailing my back. It was a soft touch, slow, really slow. Making its way upwards and then going back down, over again. The noise level had considerably decreased, and now all I could listen to were whispers, the sweetest whispers coming from the mouth of one single person. “Shhhh, easy. You’re having a panic attack. It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m here. Breathe.” Little by little my quick and superficial breathing became steadier, and after a few minutes I was able to stand up to sit on the couch. The beating on the door had stopped, and I realized all the guys were surrounding me, worried look on their faces, as Duff, seating beside me, still had his hand in my back.

_________________

It had been two weeks since that day. After the incident, I sure as hell wasn’t going to be under the same roof as Mark, and even less with the fight still recent. Who knows what he would do to me as soon as I crossed the threshold… The guys profusely insisted that I could stay with any of them, but they let me use their phone to call my best friend when I told them I would be in very good hands with her. Laura received me with a warm hug the moment she saw me, and that night, at her home, we cried, we ranted and we ate ice-cream until we couldn’t take any more. I have to admit that, given the circumstances, she managed pretty well to get me into bed feeling kinda happy. But of course, nothing lasts forever. I was about to graduate, with no home (the foster-bed in Laura’s house didn’t count), no boyfriend and no plans of work, projects or future in general; ahead of me there was a massive precipice with seemingly no ending. Besides, the production process for Appetite was coming to an end, and so did my internship and the months of togetherness with the band. Now was the time for press conferences, concerts and, if it all went well, the tour. To be honest I was super happy for them. I had seen the birth of that album, and I was blindly certain that with such a masterpiece they were bound to success. It was inevitable. But in any case, that meant the end of what had given me the most joys in the last four months and, if apart from all the financial and emotional stability I had gained during my college years, someone took that away from me… what did I have left?

__________________

After that much time hitting the drums, I had ultimately interiorized the beat so much now I was just reproducing it on loop, with my eyes closed and breathing heavily. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t realize the door had opened and someone had stepped into the studio. Suddenly I felt how, behind my back, two hands softly landed on my shoulders. I didn’t stop playing. My arms moved now with less vigor to the beat I had marked from the beginning, while those fingers gently traced small circles in the back of my neck, comforting me.

Duff.

It had to be him, I was certain.

Little by little I reduced the speed of my movements, gradually, until I completely stopped playing. When I left the drumsticks on the snares and turned around in the stool I saw him. He was standing there, right in front of me, asking with his eyes, a calm and expressive look on his face. An almost imperceptible sigh escaped my lips. He was worried about me.

- Good thing it was you who entered, and not Steven – I said, half jokingly, as I stood up, hoping to relax the tension built up between us.

- Yeah – he laughed softly. – Had it been him he would have ripped the drumsticks off your hands and hit you with them.

I laughed too, quietly, bitterly. This was too much for me. The words we never said were floating around, like a thousand needles falling into a tailspin above us; eventually, they would have to land. The worst part was that I didn’t know if I craved that moment or, on the contrary, dreaded it.

It looked like he had read my mind when he slowly, almost asking for permission, held my hands. I startled a bit with the contact, but I let him go on. Duff looked at them for a second before he noticed the tiny wounds I had unconsciously inflicted on myself digging my fingernails too hard a while before, at the drums. Without saying a word, he started caressing them very softly, as if he wanted to calm, more than my physical pain, the sentimental one. He was breathing deeply and slightly frowning. He was concentrated in trying to make that feeling disappear, the confusion, the guilt, the fear… the stream of emotions that had been threatening to break me for some time now. He looked me in the eyes. In that very moment, the temperature inside the room raised a few degrees. We were really close. So close I could feel his breath on me, listen to his heartbeat accelerating with every second that went by, see how his lips lightly parted, practically not at all, only a hint of the thought that filled our minds in that place, in that moment. Then, almost involuntarily, as an instinctive reflex, I stretched my neck upwards. That was the only sign he needed to make the already scarce distance between our lips disappear, and kiss me.

The contact was slow, sweet and full of longing. Our lips moved rhythmically, perfectly fitting on each other’s. Duff was still holding my hands, and I could feel my breath accelerating progressively. I released one of my hands and placed it on his neck, stroking the hair on his nape and helping myself keep balance in my tippiest toes. He saw my struggles and moved his free hand to my waist, firmly holding me so that I wouldn’t fall. All of a sudden, I felt the urge to be closer to him, even more. Everything that I hadn’t been able to do and that had bottled up inside of me was now too overwhelming, and I didn’t want to fight it anymore. Our kiss intensified, we hungrily enjoyed each other, panting. The next thing I knew was that Duff had placed his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned my arms on his shoulders, so I could keep kissing him while he crossed the room and sat on the leather couch, with me straddling his lap. He ran his fingers up and down my thighs, slightly lifting the hem of my dress, as if he was testing some boundaries that I hadn’t set and, at this point, I didn’t plan to.

I was euphoric, nervous and loaded with desire. In a burst of braveness or lust, I’m not entirely sure, I started to buck my hips, back and forth, following a slow path at first, which progressively accelerated. The friction of my underwear in direct contact with his leather pants was about to drive me mad, and I couldn’t stop. His hands, which a moment ago were on my hips, guiding them, started moving over my lower stomach, tracing the edge of my panties in painfully slow motions. His breath was also heavier, somehow ragged, and I felt him hardening beneath me. His lips were stuck to the base of my neck, lightly sucking as I, with my eyes closed and lips parted into a silent “O”, gently pulled his blond hair. My core grew more sensitive by the minute, and when I thought I wouldn’t be able to hold the moan trapped in my throat anymore, his fingers touched my most sensitive spot, turning my steadily rocking hips not that steady for a moment.

In a matter of seconds, and with his hand working wonders between my legs, I got rid of the dress, which only bothered, and the perspective of my almost absolute nudity on top of his entirely dressed body made me shake with arousal. His free hand took care of my breasts, now exposed, as I dug my nails into his shoulders, underneath the sleeveless shirt he was wearing.

- Take it off – I managed to blurb between gasps.

- What? – Duff seemed confused, too concentrated on something else for having been able to follow the road of my own thoughts.

- Your shirt, take it off. I want to touch you.

A shit-eating grin lit up his face right before he separated in a quick motion from that piece of clothing and threw it somewhere else. Immediately after, in a total change of the atmosphere, he laid back on the couch and, placing his hands behind his head, said:

- Then touch me.

I didn’t hesitate for a single second. My hands flew to his shoulders, his arms, his shoulders again and went down his chest as I peppered kisses all over his lips, jaw, neck, collarbones… I took my sweet time while swinging my hips against the fabric that separated my pussy from his erection, and my nails traced a descending path down his torso, really slowly. I could notice how he was growing desperate; I felt his breath, now turned into a subtle growl, against my hair; I realized how shortly he had managed to keep his hands off me, since now he was caressing my flanks, my back and my chest. When I reached the cord of his pants with my fingers, I slowly undid the knot that tied them together and slipped my hand underneath, without stopping my hip motions. The very moment I found the base of his length, a soft grunt escaped his lips. He was driving me insane.

After a while arousing each other, we couldn’t stand the teasing any longer and Duff took the first step to getting rid of the clothes that were still around. I stood up and took off my sandals so that he could slide my panties down my legs, grazing my skin along the way. He also let go of both his pants and sneakers, tossing them on the carpet. Our moves were clumsy thanks to eagerness and anticipation. I once again sat on top of him, in our initial position, only now there were no clothes in the middle of the road. I could feel him against me. Touch. Friction. Desire. His expert fingers moved now freely over my core, as he left little love bites under my left ear. I kept on rubbing his cock, fully hard and a bit wet, while, with my other hand, I held on to his hair for dear life. We were close, really close. It felt as if every centimeter of my skin was on direct contact with Duff. He was everywhere, every corner, every goosebump, every scar… With all this overstimulation, my moans filled the room, and I didn’t have enough sanity to realize anyone could come in. I was a mess.All of a sudden, right when I was seconds away from cumming, his hands disappeared from my core. Even though I couldn’t see myself, I was sure in my eyes one would be able to read the anticipation and confusion.

- Wait – he said in a desperate whisper -. I want to feel you, I want to be inside of you.

If he hadn’t stopped touching me a moment before, I am sure that sentence would have sent me to the wildest of orgasms, but it wasn’t the time for my sweet release. Not yet. He put his hand right next to mine, on his cock, and, with an almost unbearable slowness, he brought the tip of it to my entrance. A trembling sigh fell from my lips and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then, I gently let my hips descend on his lap, and he completely slid inside of me, letting escape an unearthly growl that gave me chills. He had dropped his head back, leaving his neck and collarbones exposed to me, but I had my eyes closed as I tried to control the delightful contractions that were about to take over me. I felt him inside of me, extremely deep. As if we were two pieces of the same puzzle, as if we had been manufactured specifically to be together. Now THAT was overstimulation. Once my body had adjusted to him, I started motioning my hips up and down, holding on to his shoulders so that I didn’t lose the limited balance I had left. He once again was looking at me, with his hands on my waist as I kept the path. Close, very close. His arms slid around me and I kissed his lips eagerly. Our moans died in one another’s mouth while the movements became faster, erratic, frenetic. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep my sanity, I was almost raving with pleasure, and the moment our lips broke away to take air and we looked at each other, nose to nose, without stopping for a moment, I couldn’t hold it any longer. I came with a flashing intensity, pronouncing his name countless times, asking God knows who for this moment to last forever. I couldn’t stop screaming, and when Duff begged my name and I felt his liquid warmth filling every bit of me, I saw white.

_______________

His hand stroked tenderly my naked back while my breath came back to normal against his neck. The same as that day, but at the same time entirely different. I was still on top of him, he was still inside of me. I hadn’t yet gathered the strength to pull him apart from me, but he didn’t seem willing to get separated either, so we stood like that for a while, I don’t even know how much, but I don’t care. This felt utterly intimate, intense, extremely ours and totally apart from the rest of people, from the rest of things. It was a parallel universe inside of a crystal ball. It was the embodiment of all that was right. What we had been, without knowing or admitting it, even to ourselves, waiting for all this time.

#duff #smut #angst #guns n roses #duff mckagan #oneshot #imagine #fanfic #reader #fem reader

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