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#getting lost
essayisms · 1 year
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1st November 2022
Hi, I know I haven’t been here in ages! But I wanted to come back and tell you guys I finally picked up Annie Ernaux. I have devoured this and am now desperate to read Simple Passion immediately. I talk a bit about it in my first newsletter that I will discuss more later. In the mean time - how is everyone? Who else loves Annie Ernaux?
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absolutebl · 1 year
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This has be a brief tribute to some of my very favorite BL boys with fathomless eyes. 
Share & enjoy. 
Gongchan in Unintentional Love Story
Zee in everything
Yamada James Takeshi in Seven Days 
Net in Bed Friend
Leo in Happy Ending Romance
Yagi Yusei in My Beautiful Man 
Pond in Never Let Me Go 
Son Woo Hyun in To My Star 
Jimmy in Vice Versa 
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nobeerreviews · 1 year
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Sometimes it's worth getting lost to see who will come looking for us.
-- Robert Breault
(London)
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starker-sorbet · 1 year
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Peter and Tony going on a road trip together and getting hopelessly lost.
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marseesthisway · 9 days
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postcards from Arizona
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moonbasetycho · 8 months
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I get lost in my own house sometimes
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hiraeth-22 · 6 months
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sadgaypoetstuff · 9 months
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Total Oblivion
If you look beyond the window, beyond the buildings and trees; hear the noise, ignore the breeze and the moon, casting its shadow.
Let yourself scape the sorrow through the window, towards bliss. Hear the whispers from the Abyss, but remember that it’s hollow.
Fields beyond our comprehension where a tiny speck of sapience like you flies away from home.
Now you’ve achieved real freedom, engulfed in total oblivion, the vast emptiness you roam.
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absolutely-oranges · 2 years
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Streets of Montmartre, Paris
(150)
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convexicalcrow · 6 months
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Hermit Horror Week Day 2: s3/4 - enviromnent
perhaps the start of s4 didn't quite go as planned, and perhaps the mesa doesn't want the hermits there, after all.
(inspiration: creepy and weird stuff in old minecraft by dialko) (also cub's first s4 ep)
-
It's fair to say they had not exactly planned this well, given they spawned on a tiny island far from the mesa they planned to settle on. By the time they'd swam all the way there, night had well and truly fallen and the mesa was crawling with mobs. It felt…
Cub felt a lot of things as he climbed up the cliffs, following the other Hermits as they attempted to get to safety. Or, at least, find some trees to punch as well as some food.
Worlds always felt so empty at this point, when they'd just arrived and there was nothing built yet. But the mesa felt hostile somehow too, like it didn't want them there. Perhaps it was just first night nerves, though, in a group of relative strangers, where he didn't yet feel like he belonged. Maybe it was just that.
-
They built a small settlement in the middle of the mesa. Well, a wheat farm and a tree farm, to be fair, but at least there was light, which was always good. Cub felt restless, but safer. There was safety in numbers, right? Someone had a bed tucked away in a small cave they'd dug out, and they had apples and wheat when it decided to grow. It wasn't the best start, but it was a start at least.
Was it safer underground? Well, that depended, probably, on whether there were caves involved. Cub wasn't about to let that get in his way, though. He did need to mine for iron and coal and start gathering his own resources. He'd make his own base soon enough, but for now, all the Hermits were just trying to survive long enough to do so.
-
The bed (and it was just a singular bed) was in a small, odd-shaped cave dug out from the mesa. It didn't really lead anywhere, nor had anyone else dug any mines in it, but at least he could forge his own path, and so he started staircasing down, his mind on nothing but his goal of finding the resources he needed. And if he was lucky, maybe he'd find some diamonds too.
-
He'd forgotten how isolating being in the caves was, even though he could hear the chatter of his friends through his comms. He'd muted himself, as their voices took the edge off the loneliness and drowned out the cave sounds. He'd found some small caves, and mined out a few bits of iron and coal, but nothing substantial yet. At least he had an iron pick now. He definitely didn't have enough bread, though. He'd have to go back soon.
Just a bit further. Maybe keep heading down. He could come back once he had more food, but at least it was all lit up. He kept mining. The Hermits kept chatting. Until they didn't.
Cub stood stock still as his comms seemed to abruptly cut off the call, and eerie music started playing. He looked at his comms and tried to restart the call, but it wouldn't connect. Was the music even coming from his comms or was it somewhere else? Well, he wasn't actually in a call anymore, so. But then he listened, and once he stopped himself panicking, he was better able to hear where the music was coming from. And it was over somewhere from the walls. West? Maybe? But it also felt like it was coming from everywhere.
Well, if he couldn't call for whatever reason, maybe he could still send messages? No, no he could not. There must be some kind of weird interference down here that was kicking him off the comms network. That must be it. Right?
-
The music didn't stop. It kept looping. Cub wanted to leave, but he was also curious. And then he heard footsteps. Another Hermit had come to find him? Or were they just caving too?
"Hello? Who's there?" Cub called, turning to the direction the footsteps were coming from.
There was no response. The sound of a minecart hurtling down a steep rail sounded so close to him it startled him. It took him a minute to remember that was normal. He heard minecarts in caves all the time.
It took him another minute to notice the music had stopped.
"Nah, nah, I've had enough of this. I'm getting out of here."
-
It was definitely just the fear giving him a sense of foreboding, right? The walls weren't actually closing in. The torches weren't actually vanishing behind him, shrouding his journey in darkness. God, the sense of relief he felt when he found his staircase was palpable, and he ran up and blocked the entrance, just for his own peace of mind.
Then he sat on the bed, ate the last of his bread, and tried to calm himself down.
-
"Cub! Where you been, man? You were down there a long time if you were caving."
Cub looked up to see Xisuma standing in the doorway. "Yeah, yeah, just. Got carried away, you know how it is. Hey. I was wondering."
"Yeah, got that tunnel vision, I know, I know. What's on your mind?" Xisuma said.
"You can't hear- music in the caves, right? Like, from music discs? They didn't add that while I wasn't looking, right?" Cub said.
"Not as far as I know, why? Did you hear something down there?" Xisuma said.
"Yeah, one of the creepy ones. I dunno. Maybe it was just a prank, I dunno. But, man, I'm telling you, there's something down there in that mesa that doesn't want us here," Cub said.
"Maybe you should get some sleep first, yeah? You look like you need it, to be honest," Xisuma said. "Then maybe you can take me back to the spot you heard the music and we'll see if there's anything weird going on, yeah?"
"Sure, sounds good to me. Though maybe I won't sleep right here, though. Has anyone got any wool for another bed?" Cub said as he got to his feet.
"Maybe, I dunno. But there's sheep around in the forest if you go searching, I think! We could do with some more around here anyway. Maybe it'll do you good to be outside, yeah?" Xisuma said.
"Yeah, yeah, maybe, sounds good to me," Cub said.
-
Cub didn't want to be descending his staircase again, let alone with Xisuma in tow. He was half-afraid he'd go down and find nothing had changed and he'd look like a fool. He had slept, but not very well, and he hated that he'd let himself get this scared by caving, of all things. He was better than this, right?
"So you dug down and went caving, and at some point you heard music?" Xisuma said.
"Yeah, yeah, and the call cut out. I couldn't even message anyone. Weird, right?" Cub said.
"Yeah, that is weird. Anyway, lead the way, let's see if there's anything odd going on," Xisuma said.
-
Cub froze at the bottom of the stairs. The cave was pitch black. Whatever torches he'd had down had really vanished. He could see the red eyes of a spider in the distance, and backed off as an arrow shot at him from the darkness.
"I thought you said you lit the way!" Xisuma said as he blocked up the entrance again.
"I did! I swore I did! But as I left, the torches vanished! Something was chasing me, and it didn't want the light around. We could definitely find our way back there, I think? But it might take some time, these caves are very windy from my memory of them," Cub said.
"Hmm. Well then. I guess we'd better start going then. I'd be interested to see how far away you got before things went weird on you. If it's something with the comms units, I might need to patch something. But we'll see, I guess," Xisuma said.
-
They hadn't got very far before Cub was lost. Nothing looked familiar. There was only one staircase from the bedroom, this was the one he'd dug, these were the caves he was in before, and yet.
"Maybe we made a wrong turn?" Cub said. "I don't recognise these caves."
"We haven't come far enough for that, have we?" Xisuma said.
"I dunno anymore, this has all been too strange. Maybe we should head back. Maybe I- I dunno. Maybe I just let the caves get to me. Maybe that's it," Cub said.
"Well, if you're sure," Xisuma said.
"I mean, I'm not sure, but also, I dunno even where to go from here. It's all different. Like the cave changed on me or something. I know that sounds stupid, but I dunno. I'm lost and I dunno where to go from here. We can keep looking if you want though, but I dunno if we'll find it again," Cub said.
"Let's keep going a little further. Maybe it'll start looking familiar the further we get in, yeah?" Xisuma said.
"Yeah, maybe," Cub said. "Might as well try to find it even if we don't succeed."
-
Cub looked out at the mesa from a cave opening high up on the cliffside. This was not where he had planned to end up. But the caves twisted in different ways and this is where they'd ended up, looking back at the mesa.
"Hmm. And you're sure this is a totally different cave, yeah? It didn't lead you here at all?" Xisuma said.
"No, I was like, deep into the ground. There was no way through to the outside from where I was. Weird," Cub said.
"Yeah, that's very weird. Not saying I don't believe you, of course, because I definitely do. But if it doesn't want us finding that spot again, well. Maybe that's something to look into," Xisuma said. "On the bright side, at least we don't need to go through the caves to get back! We can just climb up the cliffs!"
"That is true, yeah. I suspect if we went back through the caves, we'd find that-" Cub had simply turned around to acknowledge the path and instead he found their trail blanketed in darkness. "Uh, Xisuma? The torches are gone again."
Xisuma turned to see the dark tunnel behind them. "Ah. Well. Maybe-, uh. Let's just get out of here. Before something bad happens, yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah, good plan," Cub said, not needing any more convincing.
Cub followed Xisuma out of the cave and back up the cliff. He couldn't shake the feeling of being watched as they ascended. He was feeling less excited about building in the mesa now, but what else could they do? Maybe he could just… build above ground. He could do that, right? And he could just go mining elsewhere. He didn't need to- not under the mesa, right? Maybe if he built right on the edge? So if he wanted to build underground, he could just do that… not in the mesa? Yeah, that might work. So he didn't… whatever was here could leave him alone then right? Maybe. Maybe that was the way to go. Welcome to Hermitcraft.
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luna2-5 · 8 months
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✨🌞let’s go far away Daddy, maybe to the moon and let’s never come back 🌙
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poetsandmusic · 1 month
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recently life has shown me how easy it is to give up on living. not in a physical sense, but in a mental sense. it’s so easy to just “switch it off”, if you will. it’s so easy to become a shell, to stop caring, to stop loving, to stop thinking, to stop sensing, to stop smiling, to stop blushing, to stop seeing, to stop hearing. it’s so easy to move but not leave a trace, it’s so easy to just.give.up and get lost. it’s so tempting to just exist, to set your alarm, to go to bed, to wake up and then set your alarm again, go to bed, wake up, set it again. it’s so easy to leave your body here and forget your soul. it’s so easy. it’s so tempting.
God, please, save me from the easy, from the tempting. I want to feel, I want to live, I still have love in me, I can’t just wipe it out, I can’t do it, love doesn’t deserve my apathy. it’s so easy but it’ll ruin me. it will ruin me, it ruins me, I refuse to accept it. I refuse, I refuse, I refuse. I need to get up from the floor, I need to get up and dance. I’ll dance my soul into me, I’ll laugh my life back. I’ll see again, I’ll hear again, I’ll learn again, I’ll love again. I’ll read again, I’ll care again, I’ll create again, I’ll live again. I will live again.
And so will you.
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pink-alchemy · 2 months
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nobeerreviews · 2 years
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Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost.
-- Erol Ozan
(Lucca, Italy)
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arianalilyblack · 5 months
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One day, I will get so lost in my thoughts that nobody will find me...
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when i was in primary school i used to get lost almost every time i left the classroom, even to go to the toilet. i could often find my way to wherever i was going, but then couldn't find my way back.
it was a pretty small school building and it shouldn't have been so difficult to find my way, but i recall lots of instances of wandering back and forth and up and down the stairs, getting more and more frantic and panicked as i realised that i didn't know where my classroom was.
and then of course i would eventually return to class (usually with directions from another student, often younger than me), to be told off for being gone so long.
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