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staticscreenwriting · 3 years

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The loneliest time of the year || Part two

Part 2 of 4

Summary: With a broken heart and the fear of having failed as a father, Frankie returns to his parents house for Christmas. What is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year feels quite lonely. Though when an old friend shows up unexpectedly with her young son in tow, Frankie’s Christmas seems to gain a little more happiness. Can they help each other fight the ghosts of their pasts and overcome their fears ?

A/N: This is part of my 12 days of Christmas / Advent special. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Four messed up pies

By the morning of December 9th a heavy blanket of snow rests upon the world like a tick coat of marshmallow fluff.

A restlessness surges through Frankie as he turns from his left to his right to his back then repeats the process all over again. He kicks away the blankets then pulls them back. Sleep doesn’t come easy these days. In fact sleep hasn’t come easy in a while. It’s a price you have to pay for leading the life he leads, has led. For doing the job he did. You see things, bad things, and they stay with you. Not always but in the quiet moments they creep back into your mind and all you can do is stare and hope they fade again soon. Fill your brain with other things. Occupy your mind.

It’s moments like these that his fingers are twitching and his body is aching for release. For something to numb his mind. Help him forget.

There aren’t a lot of things that Frankie is proud of. In fact he can count them on one hand. One of them is his ability to fly. He's a damn good pilot … most of the time. (He is when someone doesn’t force him to navigate an overloaded plane across the Andes). He’s proud of Rosie. Despite his flaws and shortcomings he managed to create something so utterly perfect, that’s something to be proud of. And the. There’s the little coin in the pocket of his jacket. The one he fumbles with whenever he’s anxious or stressed. It’s gold and smooth and it proudly displays a big number 10 in the middle of a triangle on the front of the coin.

10 months. That’s a proud achievement.

It could be more. It should be more! He really tried but after coming home from Colombia, one man less than they went in, after his girlfriend broke up with him and took Rosie with her. After everything. He needed the psi to stop. Just for one goddamn minute. He felt immediate regret wash over him when he woke up the next morning. Called Pope. Entered a 12 step program.

10 months and he feels better. He likes himself more now. But in those 10 months the voices have gotten louder, the images clearer, his heart feels heavier.

With sleep being so far out of reach, he kicks off the blanket and drags his body out of bed. The smell of coffee hits his nose as soon as he steps out of his room, it drifts from the kitchen all the way up the stairs.

His parents are sitting by the kitchen counter, mom holding onto a big steaming mug of coffee while his dad is deeply invested in the morning. Paper, glasses perched low on his nose. This is home, it sends him straight back to his childhood. If only, he thinks, if only he could provide this sense of warmth and domesticity for his own child.

A knock on the front door shakes him from his thoughts. As he swings it open, a sharp sting of cold winter air whips at him, nips at his nose, his ears and his bare feet.

“Frankie hey, oh sorry did I wake you?”

(Y/N) is once again bundled up in layers of cozy clothes, keeping her warm and sheltered from the harsh weather. She looks cute. Absolutely fucking adorable. But in that moment, he doesn’t really notice that. Doesn’t notice Leo standing behind her either. His entire attention rests on the steaming pie she holds in her hands.

“You made a pie?”

“She made 4.” Leo speaks up, his voice dripping with irritation and annoyance.

“Thanks for throwing me under the bus, dude!”

Frankie regards the exchange with a fond smile pulling at the corners of his lips. There’s something so distinctly familiar in the way she interacts with her son, so unapologetically her. The way she’s always been. But now grown up entirely. A mother.

“Why did you make 4 pies?” He asks, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Well I didn’t plan on making 4. The first one I mistook salt for sugar so you can imagine how it tasted. The second one I put way too much sugar in, might’ve been trying to compensate for my mistake with the first one but yeah that one did end up in the trash as well. The third … well I got pretty invested in an episode of unsolved mysteries and forgot it was in the oven so it turned out um — “

“Black. It was burned to a crisp.” Leo chimes up again, this time more amused than annoyed by his mother’s baking escapades.

“Yeah. It burned. But number 4 is looking pretty good.”

She looks up at Frankie with a smile so radiant it rivals the sun reflecting on the snowy ground. Pride shines in her eyes as she holds the pie towards him.

“Did you make me a pie?”

“Not exactly. It’s mostly for your folks. They agreed to watch this one while I got shopping for his Christmas presents.” (Y/N) explains, her tumb motioning towards the little boy over her shoulder. “This is a thank you to them for being literal angels. “

“Oh man you wouldn’t be saying that if you had to live with them growing up. I can’t tell you how many times dad unplugged my console while I was in the middle of a game.”

It’s a joke, of course it is. He really lucked out in the parents department and he’s not too proud or too shy to admit it. Maybe, he thinks, the good parent gene might’ve skipped a generation with him. His ex will surely agree with that statement.

“Hey uh — you mind having some company while shopping ?”

“You wanna go shopping for toys?”

“I need to get some presents for my daughter.”

“Oh that’s right, you have a kid too. “

He doesn’t blame her for not remembering. He doesn’t strike people as the father type. And really, he hasn’t seen his little one in quite some time.doesn’t see her during the entire Christmas time. Is he really much of a father anyway?

“Sure yeah! I’d love some company.”

Maybe, Frankie thinks, this will help him drown out the voice. Those that tell him bad thoughts, whisper mean things. Maybe it will help him filter out the images. The blood. The suffering.

Frankie was never overly fond of the extreme commercialization of what should be a peaceful family holiday. But maybe this year he is,a little bit at least. Because those bright colors, the loud noises, the crowds, the ads assaulting you from every corner, that all will help drown out the dark. At least for a moment.

“Alright lemme just get changed real quick.”

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Five days a week

“What the fuck is this?”

“It’s uh … it’s a … a game?”

“A game where you have to catch a piece of … poop.”

A wave of laughter tumbles from (Y/N)’s lips as Frankie holds up the brightly colored box, proudly displaying a drawing of a smiling turd.

“It’s so dumb. And that says a lot coming from me, I can appreciate a good fart joke. But this is …. this is just dumb. “

“ It's what the kids these days want. I guess …”

“Would you buy this for Leo?”

“Absolutely not,” (Y/N) replies before taking the box from his hand and placing it back on the shelf between several more games of a similar kind. “But he wouldn’t like it anyway. Leo likes books and animals and fantasy movies. He’s so smart sometimes I wonder where he got it from.”

“You kidding me?” Frankie exclaims, “you’re so smart and if I remember correctly, you always carried around books when you were younger.”

(Y/N) just shrugs at his words though Frankie can’t make out a faint blush of red dusting her cheeks. “Leo is such an easy kid, always has been. Sometimes I wonder if that’s really the way he is or if he just tries to be that way because of me. Because he knows that I have to do all the parenting by myself and he feels he’s responsible for helping me along.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re doing good with him. Least you know what to get him for Christmas, what he cares about, what he’s interested in.”

His heart feels so heavy. His words seem to weigh down on his tongue like a stack of bricks. To admit your own failures to yourself is one thing, to admit them to someone else is quite another story.

“What do you mean ?”

“I — I have no idea what to get for Rosie. I don’t even know when I’ll see her next. She stays with her mom 5 days a week. I only get her on the weekends and even then her mom often finds a reason not to let her stay. Special occasions? I don’t get to spend those with her. Bet she doesn’t even recognize me anymore next time. She’s just a baby …”

This can’t be happening. He’s not going to start crying in the middle of a Toys R Us like a hyperactive toddler on a temper tantrum. Not in front of a beautiful girl who has been nothing but kind to him. This can’t be happening.

(Y/N)’s hand settles on his arm with a gentle touch. Almost as if she’s afraid he’ll break any minute now. And honestly, he might.

“Tell me about Rosie. I know she means the world to you and that’s all that matters Frankie. You’re trying. You’re trying so hard and I’m sure there’s lots about her that you know that no one else does. She’s your baby too. So tell me about her and we’ll figure out what to get her.”

And so they sit down on a swing set, one that’s definitely not meant for adults to sit on and have deep discussions, and Frankie starts talking. Once he starts it’s like a cork has been popped. It pours out of him, all of his pride and admiration and love for Rosie. All that has been brewing for so long now bubbles over.

“... and she, she loves cuddling onto my chest and just listens to me. She doesn’t understand a word but she looks at me with her big beautiful eyes and it feels like I’m telling her all the biggest secrets of the universe the way she looks at me. Sometimes I sing and she — she falls asleep immediately.”

“That’s adorable.”

“Nah I think it's because my rendition of Eric Clapton is just real bad and boring.”

Their laughter is quiet, almost as if they are afraid of breaking the spell of this moment. Sometimes you find yourself at your most vulnerable during the big moments of your life and sometimes you do in the middle of a Toys R Us, sitting on a swingest that just barely holds your weight while a plastic giraffe looks over your shoulder and Kacey Musgrave’s rendition of “I’ll be home for Christmas” plays over the same overhead speakers that have been installed there in 1983.

“I just don’t want to disappoint her.”

He’s already disappointing himself and that hurts bad enough.

“Frankie, let me be honest with you. She’s a baby, she’s not gonna care what you get for her. This is more about you than her. Whatever you get she’s gonna like it. Babies are easy to please, gets harder the older they get. We’ll find something cute for her but um … I think you should call her.”

“She’s a baby, she doesn’t have a phone yet.”

“ Really? I had Leo on a newborn data plan the second he popped out.”

Frankie raises his eyebrow in confusion.

“I was joking you dingus. Of course you’re gonna call her mom. There’s this thing, I don’t know if you’ve heard about it, it’s called FaceTime. You can actually see ther person on the other side. “

“ Very funny. I know what facetime is … “

“ Then call them. You said it yourself, the little one doesn’t understand a word of what you’re saying but that doesn’t matter. You’re there. You’re showing interest and taking initiative. It shows you care. And I think seeing her might be good for you too, even if it’s not in person.”

“ You know, that sounds like a pretty good plan. “

“ Yeah? “ she asks him, a hopeful glimmer in her eyes, in her voice, in her entire being.

“ Yeah. “

“ Alright! Now let’s go find some presents for the little princess. May I suggest a cellphone? “

This time her laughter isn’t quite. It’s loud and radiant and the way her own joke amuses herself, is so goddamn endearing to Frankie.

“ Ah shut up. “ he replies though his voice too is dipped in amusement as he throws his arm around her shoulders and they walk down the shiny linoleum floor, past dolls and teddy bears and Star Wars action figures.

And it feels right. Like the fit together perfectly. Like puzzle pieces slotting into place.

And that feeling is damn scary.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Six-hour flights.

The floor of (Y/N)’s living room is covered in wrapping paper. Reds and greens and silvers and golds hide what once was a nice dark cherry wood floor. There are bows and ribbons and gift tags in all shapes and sizes and colors.

“ Looks like Santa’s workshop in here, “ Frankie exclaims as he drops down on the floor next to her. All the presents they’ve purchased, neatly lined up in front of them, ready to be wrapped. Though to be fair, Frankie is quite sure he’s not gonna do a lot of wrapping himself. Sometimes you gotta admit defeat. And he ain’t too proud to admit that he is a horrible, horrible wrapper.

“ Yeah, I know I’m making a big fuss over things like this. Wrapping and the tree and stuff like that. I just — I don’t know it just makes me happy when I see that my actions put a smile on the faces of the people I love. “

“ Oh I wasn't judging. It’s sweet. “

For a while they stay in comfortable silence. Just them and the radio playing old Christmas songs. (Y/N)’s hands do quick work on the presents, Santa’s elves would be jealous.

It’s the first time in a long time, that silence doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable. That it doesn’t open up the gates for the voices to grow louder and the bad images to consume his head. No, this silence feels comfortable. It’s soft and warm. It’s tinted in golds and reds.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe seeking the company of someone who exudes joy and warmth does him good. Someone who knows him but not the bad. Never the bad. The faults, yes, the fears even, but not the blood that stains his hands or the vices he so desperately tries to fight.

“ What was the best Christmas present you ever got? “ (Y/N) speaks up as she glides a pair of scissors along the ribbon turning it into shiny curls.

“ Millennium Falcon playset.”

“ You and a million other little boys. “

“True. What can I say, I was easily pleased. What was yours ?”

(Y/N) thinks for a moment before a wistful smile settles on her face.

“My bubblegum pink roller skates.”

“Oh, I remember those!”

And he did. Squeaky pink roller skates with 4 pastel blue wheels and glittery silver laces.

“I remember the following summer all you did was skate up and down the street. “

“Yeeeah but that wasn’t entirely because of the skates.”

Frankie combs his hair from his face, he really needs to get it cut, and looks at her in confusion. “Huh?”

Another chuckle falls from (Y/N) ‘s lips. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice.”

“ Notice what?”

“That I had the biggest crush on you.”

Frankie is grateful for the fact that he’s not taking a sip of his drink right then, it surely would’ve ended in a spit-take. He was a nerdy kid, a nerdy teenager too. Kinda shy, a little lost. He wasn’t usually the boy that girls fancied.

“Me? You had a crush on me? “

It doesn’t make sense, not really. She was the one that was fascinating and exciting. Though he didn’t think of her that way when they were kids, he knew she was beautiful even back then. He hadn’t been interested in her romantically because she was a few years younger but that didn’t meanie didn’t realize the magic she held.

“Yes, you. You were cool, Frankie. You were older and you knew stuff about cars and planes and you could name every Star Wars spaceship and you had a skateboard. “

“I was a horrible skater.”

“Sure but it wasn’t so much about the skating as it was about the aesthetic. You were cool and you still are cool”

Frankie shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly. She thought he was cool, still does. No one ever thought he was cool. He isn’t a smooth talker like Pope and even he himself can admit that look wise he isn’t even playing in the same league as Will and Benny. But if (Y/N) thinks he’s cool that must mean something. Right ?

“You were the one traveling all over the world with your dad and you thought I was cool?”

She sets down the scissors, let’s her hands rest on her lap. There’s a sense of nervousness exuding from her now. Like the words she wants to speak are resting on the tip of her tongue and yet they are so difficult to speak.

“Maybe that was part of it too. I never had a real home. Nothing stable at least. Except for my grandparents’ house. This was home and you were, you are, forever entwined with my idea of home. Sometimes I missed this place so much that I’d sit in my room and my little brain would think of all the fun adventures we could go on if only I was old enough to hop on a 6 hour flight by myself. I’d ask grandma about you every time I called and she always told me what trouble you got into.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yeah and that only made you more exciting in my eyes. Then she’d offer to let me speak to you but I was too chicken shit to do it. Thought you might look right through my facade and realize how into you I was.”

“I was so oblivious, I can assure you I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Well … it’s too late now.”

“I guess so. Just — next time you fall in love with me let me know, alright.”

Her laugh rings through the room like bells, like songs, like whispers of a childhood magic long forgotten.

“That only sounds fair. It’s a deal.”

“Good, now …. would you mind wrapping my gifts for Rosie?”

“Nope, but in return would you come see Leo’s play with me next week? My dad can’t come and I think Leo would like to have some more people there that support him. And he seems to think you’re cool so …”

“Huh guess if you both think so it must be true.”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Of course I’ll come. “

She smiles and it sends a weird flicker through him. Like fire, like electricity.

“ Now let me teach you how to curl the ribbon properly.”

#francisco morales x reader #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #frankie morales x you #francisco morales imagine #frankie morales imagines #triple frontier imagine #triple frontier imagines #catfish imagine #catfish x reader #catfish x you #jos2020xmasspecial

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hufflautia · 4 years

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Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them. my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help.

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

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strawbwrry · 5 years

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two ❥ under the rose

one

word count：3k

warnings：slight swearing (once again, literally 5 cuss words)

i am back!! so this chapter was interesting to write and maybe i finished it like 10 minutes ago, bUT ITS DONE AND I LIKE HOW IT CAME OUT :)

hope you enjoy and please feel free to talk about it with me cuties!!

song rec：wonderland ❥ dreamcatcher

❥❥❥❥

chapter two

❥❥❥❥

"Dongpyo, what the hell happened to Minhee?” I turned to the boy, and he himself had a look of utter shock. He stayed deadly silent, now I was absolutely positive something was wrong. He’d never just stay silent after seeing something like this. “Dongpyo, Dongpyo. Dongpyo!” His face went pale as his head turned to look at mine,

“Y/N, I have no idea what happened, but this is bad. We have to tell Yunseo.”

He swallowed nervously. I felt my body tense up as a chill creeped up my spine. My eyes wandered back to where he once stood. It seemed almost closed off, as if I went any more near it a more intensified feeling of worry and doubt would consume me. I took an anxious step back, my ankles and knees feeling weak. Dongpyo’s hand landed on my shoulder, “Y/N I jut called Yunseo, she told me she and her mom are going to pick us up. Let’s go wait by those benches.” I nodded softly, my legs moved sluggishly following closely behind Dongpyo.

We both fell onto the bench staying silent as what we had just seen truly dawned on us. Why the hell was Minhee a ghost? I pulled my lips closed tightly together before turning to Dongpyo. “Did nobody notice?” He looked confused for just a second before he realized what I was hinting at, “It was like he just disappeared. One day he was here the next he wasn’t. Not even Hyeongjun noticed.”

“Really? Hyeongjun didn’t notice? Haven’t they been friends for like, ever?” He nodded, then lifted his hands to rub at the skin of his eyelid. “I knew something was off but I wasn’t sure. I told Hyeongjun, he thought I was crazy. He mostly hangs out with Wonjin now. It’s like Minhee never existed.”

“That’s not right. Minhee and Hyeongjun were inseparable, now you’re telling me Hyeongjun doesn’t even have the slightest memory of him?” My voice came out more skeptical that intended, but did it really matter? His eyes widened suddenly with his eyes attached to the sidewalk across the street, “Y/N! Look.”

My head whipped around to find the boy stood, exactly where Minhee and I had our first date. He stood anxiously by a large oak tree before his eyes met mine for a second, when I came to blink, he was gone.

The anxious, shy, tall boy I had fallen for was gone. . In the blink of an eye he was gone. Each time I saw him, the more it hurt. The more it felt like if I had stayed, he’d still be here. I was losing Minhee all over again.

Dongpyo pulled me into a hug and I just laughed quietly to myself as my arms wrapped around his waist. My head rested on his shoulder as my eyes began to sting. My nose tingled, prompting me to sniffle. He pulled away and smiled at me cutely. His lips displayed in a pout and he pinched my cheeks.

“Awe, Y/N! Are you crying?” He pulled out the ending syllables of his words teasingly making me laugh, a tear just managing to escape my eye. I wiped it quickly and looked up, my hand coming to ruffle his hair, and his fingers pulled the corners of my lips up.

“Not anymore!”

❥❥❥❥

“Who’s Minhee?”

My head looked up to see her face, genuinely confused by the name. “Kang Minhee. Like my ex boyfriend.” She looked shocked. “Y/N you had a boyfriend? When? Why didn’t you tell me!” Dongpyo turned to look at me, he mouthed out, ‘What the hell?’

I shrugged but leaned my head back on the seat, and shut my eyes. My eyes sealed tightly as I continuously tried to convince myself I was making this up. I had to be. There’s no way Yunseo would forget Minhee. She was the one dealing with for for a few weeks as I cried about it.

“Yunseo you really don’t remember?”

My voice was weaker then I meant it to come out as. I hated that. I swallowed the small lump I felt growing in the back of my throat and rolled my eyes. No way in hell was I crying again today. My hands gripped at the hem of my sweater and I turned to look at the stars. Dongpyo and Yunseo’s voices sounded distant and far as my head was preoccupied with thoughts.

My eyes closed for just a second, just a brief moment, then a sudden loud screeching made me go deaf. For just a moment I saw our car swerving. I felt my body being pushed up against the door, my rib cage being roughly pressed up against the door so badly I swore I heard something crack. When my eyes opened, nothing. I saw Dongpyo and Yunseo staring at me, but nothing had really registered.

Nothing had happened. We were fine. The car was fine. My ribs were fine. But I wasn’t fine. I knew I wasn’t.

It was just starting to register in everyones mind, something wasn’t right with me. Something in me had changed, and certainly not in a good way.

❥❥❥❥

Sleepovers!

I used to love them. Over time though, it felt like each one kept getting considerably worse and less enjoyable. Yunseo’s bed was soft, her plush blankets were soft and welcoming. Dongpyo laid on an air mattress on the floor, another one of the soft blankets laid across his body.

“Y/N, you haven’t said anything since we were in the car. Are you alright?”

Dongpyo’s voice was sudden and unexpected. His upper body shot up and he turned to stare at my body. I laid flatly on my back looking up at the ceiling thinking about the events of the day. “I’m alright Dongpyo, just overwhelmed I guess.” My eyes were tired, but at the same time they were droopy. I felt like sleeping, but was aware I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep that night.

“Do you want to sleep Y/N?” Yunseo’s voice was small, she sounded unsure of what she was saying. I simply shook my head and turned to look at her. “Not yet Yunseo, lets do something. I want to get my mind off the shit storm that was today.”

She grinned and sat up, pulling me up along with her. “Let’s play some games! It’ll be like old times!”

I turned to look at Dongpyo and we grinned. Just like old times.

❥❥❥❥

It had been a few hours of playing games, and we had all grown quite tired of it. Yunseo moved and laid her head into my lap and sighed loudly, puffing her cheeks out and stretching her arms out.

“Y/N! Dongpyo! I’m bored. Let’s go do something. I’m so bored here. Can we go get food from somewhere I’m hungry.”

Dongpyo smirked as he laughed to himself, “I expect this behavior from me and probably Y/N honestly, but Yunseo? What have we done to her Y/N?” I laughed, then looked down to pinch her cheeks tightly. She let out squeals of disapproval desperately trying to get away from my hands. “Dongpyo I haven’t been with Yunseo in person for quite a while. I think you did this to her.” I looked up to make eye contact with him, winking at him.

His face flushed bright pink as he rolled his eyes, scoffing at me. I stuck my tongue out in return, which he did right after me. Yunseo, who was also blushing, giggled, “You two haven’t seen eachother in 6 months and already started fighting again.”

“How about we go get some snacks from the convenience store around the corner? I’m really hungry.” Dongpyo hummed in agreement, and I nodded, “Let’s go then.”

As Yunseo stood up I followed closely, adjusting my pajama pants and straightening up my shirt. My bones cracking slightly at the sudden movement. I walked out of her room followed closely by Dongpyo, who flicked the back of my head childishly. We scrambled down the stair, picked up our jackets that laid thrown across the couch messily and walked out to be met with the surprisingly cold air.

The air seared through my previously warm skin, leaving my face feeling uncomfortably fresh. I rubbed my hands together inside my pocket and walked next to Yunseo. I rolled my eyes at the sight of their hands interlocked together and finally spoke. “I wasn’t going to do anything for Halloween besides eat any candy I could find, but I think I might just have a costume in mind now.”

“What’s your costume idea Y/N?” Yunseo asked, her voice was trembling, it was oddly cold for an October evening. “I was thinking a wheel.” Dongpyo seemed taken aback, he squinted at me and let out a breathy laugh, “Why would you dress up as a wheel?”

I looked down at my hands, they felt slightly numb at the finger tips, but what did it matter? “Cause I can see into the future, and I can tell I’ll be third wheeling a lot.” I rubbed my old hands against my sweater in an attempt to warm them up. Minhee’s hands were always really warm. I missed that. Yunseo laughed, and Dongpyo’s stayed quiet, but tried his hardest to hide his snickers.

“No you won’t!”

“I’m third wheeling right now, I swear Dongpyo was just looking at you with hearts in his eyes.”

“Y/N!” He whined loudly, “I wasn’t not.” It was now my turn to roll my eyes and hide snickers under my breath as I watched their faces turn bright red. Except now it wasn’t due to the cold air. It was embarrassment, and if I was being honest I loved every second of making fun of them.

“Sure Dongpyo, if it makes you feel any better Yunseo was looking at you the same way.”

Yunseo’s small hand reached mine and slapped my arm, making me and Dongpyo laugh and she buried her head further into her hoodie.

“Am not.” She whined quietly. Dongpyo smiled cutely at the sight of this, making me scoff at them. They just proved my point. I smiled painfully, looking at them. They weren’t that disgusting to be with. Yet. If anything it was almost, dare I say, cute? I laughed at them before responding,

“Sure Yunseo.”

❥❥❥❥

My hand held tightly onto the warm drink in my hands as we walked out of the store. Dongpyo and Yunseo holding the bags as pay for making me third wheel. The October night was unsettlingly cold, as small gusts of wind occasionally blew by. The days earlier events continuously play in my head and Yunseo and Dongpyo’s shy nervous babbling continued.

Yunseo poked my shoulder, “Y/N why do you think it’s already really cold? It’s only October.”

I shrugged, a shiver racking through my whole body. My hands began to rub my arms gently trying to get any feeling of warmth. I came to a sudden halt, the plastic bag Yunseo held was now on the floor. I looked up at her, And I had never seen Yunseo’s face so pale.

“Yunseo what happened?”

She stayed silent, her face rosy, her mouth hung open, her eyes widened in fear. I looked around trying my hardest to find anything that’d warrant such a reaction.

Nothing. I had found absolutely nothing.

Dongpyo looked equally as confused. He gently shook her body, and I put my now warm hands on her cheeks, after handing Dongpyo my drink, trying to get her attention. Her jaw began trembling in the cold. I stood in front of her and put her arms around my neck, then pulled her up onto my back. Her arms tightened, her legs then moved to wrap around me as I picked her up fully. Dongpyo picked up the bag she had been carrying and we began to walk quickly.

At this point we weren’t even walking. We were running. It was difficult with her body weight over mine, but I had never ran as fast as I did that night ever. I was scared of something that lurked in the darkness. I wasn’t sure what of though.

We reached the doorstep and Dongpyo pulled the key Yunseo had dangling in her hand and opened the door. We hurried inside, locking the door once again as soon as we had entered.

She still hadn’t said a thing.

❥❥❥❥

Yunseo’s head laid comfortably on my shoulder, soundly asleep. After last night she hadn’t said anything about it, she seemed too scared to. I didn’t press further, when she felt okay with it, she would. The both of us sat in her mom’s car, we were going to be visiting her grandparents.

Her grandparents were the grandparents I never had, by now I was basically their 8th grandchild. They never treated me any different from their grandchildren.

With Yunseo alseep, my phone pretty much dead, I sat quietly looking out the window. Yunseo’s mom and my Aunt continuously talked about, pretty much anything. It wasn’t until I heard my name that my ears perked in.

“I don’t think where we live is good for Y/N. She hates it. She’s totally changed ever since she moved in with us. She used to be so talkative, she barely speaks full sentences back where we live. She seems so much happier here. The last thing her mom would’ve wanted for Y/N was this. Miyoung what do you think I should do?”

Yunseo’s mom hummed quietly, her lips pursed as she took a right turn. “She can always live with us, we sure wouldn’t mind having Y/N live here with us. But you should talk to Y/N about it. If you want what’s best for Y/N, then you have to ask her what she thinks is best for herself.”

I stopped listening there. I wasn’t sure what I thought was best for myself. Hell if I knew what I wanted anymore. Yunseo began to stir. Her head lifted up from my shoulder and she rubbed her eyes. “Y/N how long was I asleep?”

“The whole car ride Yun.”

She scrunched up her face slightly. “Sorry Y/N, didn’t mean to leave you for the car ride like that.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t sleep like at all last night.”

We got out of the car, Yunseo’s mom and my aunt stayed sat. “We’ll be back to pick you guys up in a few hours!”

We waved watching them drive off, then began to walk into the house. Their house was welcoming and warm, it smelled of fall spices, like warm food, and looked like the standard family home.

“Y/N! Yunseo! It’s nice to see you guys!”

Yunseo’s grandma came running up to us, her arms wrapping around us tenderly, she turned to focus on me and gasped. “Y/N you look so different! Your hair looks very pretty dear.” I smiled shyly, “Thanks Grandma!”

She turned to Yunseo and fixed her tousled hair before pinching her cheek playfully flicking her forehead.

Then her grandpa came in and smiled at us both. Following close behind him was Cocoa and Brownie. I giggled when they came to play with me. My hands gently running through Brownies fur. I straightened up to give him a hug. “Nice to see you Y/N. How have you been?”

“Pretty alright Grandpa. How have you and Grandma been?” Yunseo hugged him and he turned to look at the both of us, “We’ve been doing well. Your Grandma is finally feeling better after she hurt her arm.”

“Glad to hear that!” Yunseo said before she ran over to the table where food laid. “This looks so good!” They chuckled, “Yunseo, Y/N, feel free to get some! Junho, will you please bring some utensils dear?”

“On it.”

❥❥❥❥

My stomach was stuffed to the brim with food. I felt almost tired after the sheer amount of food I had just devoured. “So Yunseo, Y/N, I have a question for you two.” Grandma began as she walked around the kitchen with Grandpa cleaning up the table. I turned away from washing the forks replying with,

“What is it Grandma?”

“Have you two seen the ghosts around town?”

Yunseo came to an abrupt halt, “Yeah I’ve seen one.” I knew she had to have seen one last night. “What about you Y/N?”

“I’ve seen the male ghost twice and I might’ve seen the female once.”

Grandpa came up to me, quietly saying, “I’ll take it from here, your grandma wants to show you something.”

I wiped my hands across my pants drying them off before I went to sit on the couch next to Grandma. She pulled out a photo album, one looking very much familiar. “Grandma isn’t this the album with your first love’s picture?”

She nodded, “Pay him no mind, I just want to know if you’ve seen the same ghosts I’ve been seeing.”

She came to a certain page and stopped. She pulled out a photograph from a clear sleeve and handed it to me. “Hey that’s the woman I saw on the side of the road!”

I handed the photo to Yunseo, and she bit her lip harshly. She handed it back quietly before nodding, “Thats the ghost I saw last night. It has to be.”

Grandma smiled softly, “It’s Eunsang’s mom.”

She began flipping through pages once again, until she stopped moving them suddenly. She pulled out a photograph with roughly 5 people. But when my eyes landed on boy, I was shocked, “Grandma, what’s his name?”

She looked at who I was point and smiled gently, “Thats Kang Minhee. We haven’t seen him since 1980-“

“1982, Dear!” Grandpa said from the living room.

“Since 1982.” Yunseo’s eyes widened, her hand gripped my arm tightly as she whispered quietly, “I remember him now.”

Grandma looked at me oddly, “Why are you so interested in Minhee?” I looked even closer at the photo. It couldn’t be Minhee. Before I could say anything Yunseo responded for me,

“Because she dated someone who looked just like him, named Kang Minhee. And he disappeared when she left.”

53 notes · View notes

madewithbangtan · 5 years

Text

Bts gif reaction to you taking a bullet for them and almost dying.

Request: Would it be okay to ask for each member’s reaction to you literally taking a bullet for them and you almost die? Sorry for the angsty request.

(Credits to gif owners)

Before I start, why was this under fluff in my old masterlist...

Rapmon: Namjoon and you have been dating for almost 2 years and it’s only been 2 months since you’ve gone public, many fans loved you two because of the affection and the love that he had for you. But as much as fans loved you some hated you and Rm, some saying he betrayed army and he shouldn’t be a part of Bts because he is just a burden to them, and Namjoon being sweet he didn’t really mind all the death threats that came towards him, surprising nearly little to None came your way, this surprised you but you just brushed it off. It was at a fan meeting, he was happily meeting fans when he saw you from a distance, fans went crazy loving your every bit, you stood beside Rm and fans wanted to take pictures with you, when bts stood up to make greetings towards the fans, you felt a strange feeling, someone was staring at you. Many fans wore hoodies so that wasn’t the surprising part, it was the way he or she moved and acted. Whoever they were they started walking towards you and the rest of the boys. It seemed like you were the only one that noticed, you brushed it off until they kept getting closer and the feeling in your guts got worse, one minute there at the back the next they’re basically one row away from the front, still no one really noticed, you didn’t want to ruin the lively mood or anything, so you kept quiet just looking over towards them every once in a while. Just when you looked at them around the 14th times they took a gun out, seemed like still, no one noticed but you. This time you also noticed where it was aimed at, your boyfriend, your love, you didn’t know what to do, so you just jumped in front of him, you felt nothing, maybe it was a toy gun, that was until you looked down and saw blood, everywhere all over your dress, all over the promise necklace that Namjoon got you, you fell, into Namjoon’s arms, crying because now the pain was unbearable, he looked at you with wide eyes, almost scared that anything he does will just hurt you more, the happy cheers now turning into terrified screams, the security guards taking the man that shot the gun. The next thing you see was Namjoons worried eyes filled with tears, it sounded like he almost breathed out his heart, he dropped his head beside you. Rm: “Oh thank god, you're okay, you're fine, you’ll be okay, your okay now” Y/N: “Namjoon… yeah I’m okay, calm down” Rm: “I thought I almost lost you, I thought that I almost lost you for good” Months later you found out that the man that almost killed you was a fan of yours and hated the fact that Namjoon took you away from him. Hmmm, fans are actually crazy.

Jin: You and Jin have been dating for about 6 months and it’s been 2 months since you’ve gone public, everything seemed so perfect nearly none of the fans hated either of you, they all loved both your dorky personalities. So when at a concert backstage a staff member that you did not recognise came and decided to talk to you it didn’t really make you feel weird, you just thought it was another polite and nice big hit employee that loved all of Bts and you, but you did take note of the weird things that he was doing, the weird ways that he would fidget when Jin kissed your cheeks or when you went to massage Jin’s shoulders because of how anxious he was for the concert. This didn’t really bug you, you brushed it off as maybe he’s anxious for Bts too, or maybe he was really desperate for the toilet. But when he looked way too angry to be a staff member and started walking towards Bts while they were getting ready to go on stage, you automatically ended up walking towards them too, subconsciously looking back every time, and holding onto Jin's hands. Now you felt the strange feeling in your guts, the weird knot that would not go away.

Not wanting Jin to worry before a big stage, you just walked beside him and told him good luck, you stayed put by the wall that separated the stage and the back, something inside you told you to stay there, you felt horrible, like something horrible was going to happen, you thought that until you saw it. He was taking out a gun, at this moment, all you could think about was where it was aimed at, Jin, pointing right at jin, while he was at the back of the group, getting into position. You didn’t think twice about jumping in front of the bullet, it didn’t take any longer for you to black out, while you were cold on the floor, guards tackled the man down, Jin turned his head, so did the rest of Bts and many of the fans were trying to get a peak, Jin went pale, he went numb he saw your lifeless body on the floor, faced down. Jin: “Y/N?!” He ran towards you and held you on his lap. You woke up after a 10-hour long surgery to repair your damaged organs and your continued failing heart. When you opened your eyes, Jin rested his head on your arms and held your hands tightly, he must’ve stayed awake all night waiting for you to wake up, he looked so pretty sleeping like this. you decided to let him sleep a little longer while looking at his sleeping posture. When you saw him crying and sweating is when you decided to wake him up. Y/N: “Hey, Jin? Baby wake up.” Jin: “OH MY LORD, YOUR AWAKE, I’ve been so worried you have no idea, I’m sorry, I'm so..” You stopped him by placing a hand on top of his. Jin: “I’m soo sorry..” Y/N: “You didn’t do anything” After months of recovery, you found out that he was deathly obsessed with you, and he had plans of killing Jin and kidnapping you and keeping you to himself.

Suga: You and Yoongi had been dating for 5 years and you had only been public for about a week, fans went crazy, it was 50/50 some loved you guys some hated you guys, but for the most part, you felt like they were fine with the two of you dating. That was until that day, you were on a date with Yoongi at the cafe, the cafe that the two of you met 5 years ago, you talked and talked and talked for about 2 hours, for 2 hours you noticed a girl weirdly looking over to your table constantly, you thought that maybe, Just maybe she just recognised Yoongi and was a huge fan of him, but you still decided to keep an eye, she kept catching the corner of your eyes. Suga: “Hey baby, I’m gonna go use the bathroom, wait here okay?” Y/N: “Yeah, hurry back I’ll miss you” He smiled and walked to the toilets when he walked to the toilets, the girl on the other table got up, and walked towards the toilet, something telling you to follow her, she went into one of the female stalls, and you heard something like a gun being loaded. You didn’t want to jump to conclusions so you walked out of your stall and washed your hands, being really cautious of the girl that walked out behind you, she left the bathroom without a second glance at you, funnily enough she was right outside the guys bathroom, with a loaded gun it was in sight everyone could see it if they walked out the bathroom, you panicked, and started texting Suga but he wasn’t answering. You kept peering outside of the women’s bathroom, you slowly started to walk out and made sure to walk out slowly, just then you heard Suga bumping into someone and saying sorry and walking out, you were inches away from the girl, and Suga was walking straight out, she held her gun out and aimed to shoot. You ran as fast as humanly possible, towards him, jumping Into Yoongi, luckily it was far enough to not penetrate through you and stay inside your body, but the bad thing was the bullet was still in you, you fell into his arms, crying and the bodyguards that were waiting outside of the cafe came inside and tackled her and they helped you into an ambulance, as soon as you got into the hospital, your blood pressure was dropping way too fast and you passed out. After hours of surgery trying to get the bullet out of your body before it travelled to the important organs and possibly harmed you more than it already had. You woke up, moving your hands. Suga: “Hey, Y/N you're awake? Thank god, I thought you died, you have no idea how much that scared me” You couldn’t speak, it hurt, you just groaned and cried out. Suga: “Baby it’s okay, don’t try to talk it’s fine, stay still, I’m just glad your awake and okay” After a few hours detectives came to question you, you told them, all that you knew, and they told you that she was, in fact, a Yoongi ‘fan’ and she was crazy, she didn’t like the fact that you were dating him, so instead of being happy for you and moving on with her life, she decided murder was a good option.

J-hope: J-hope was such a sweet pumpkin, that when You started dating, he decided to go public instantly because he loved you, and he wanted to show the world how beautiful you were on the inside and out, and he wanted to show off his girlfriend to everyone. And the world either loved the two of you or frankly didn’t really care. You knew that he was usually very busy, so when he wasn’t, you decided to go shopping, he loved it and so did you. When you were shopping in one of the department stores that you’ve been to about a million times, you met some armys that wanted to get their albums signed by Hoseok, while you were waiting for him, you decided to look around, you went up to the necklaces and saw a women maybe in her mid 30’s standing there staring intensely at you. You looked up and met eyes with her, you felt weird so you smiled and looked away, still trying to be polite, Just then Hoseok came up to you and kissed the back of your head and whispered. Hobi: “Thanks for waiting for me without complaining” Y/N: “Now why would I complain, if I was a fan I would love to get my albums signed by you” Hobi: “You are my fan, and you do have albums signed by me” Y/N: “You know what I mean, you pumpkin” You smiled and started looking at the clothes on the other side of the store together, just when you forgot about the women she was staring at you again. This time staring at you and Hoseok’s hand linked together, she looked extremely out of it, and she looked like she was on drugs or something. You only grew more uncomfortable looking at her, so you decided to look away and just mind your own business, your boyfriend turned around and looked at the shoes on the other side while you kept looking at the clothes, keeping an eye on her. Just when you thought she was leaving, she took out a gun and aimed it towards Hoseok, you didn’t really have time to react, only that you had to move an inch towards the left to block it. You blacked out, the only thing you can do is hear, and you heard people screaming and someone screaming your name. Many hours later your surgery, you opened your eyes to a very very very worried Hoseok. Hobi: “OMG OMG OMG, your awake, thank god, your awake” You slightly smiled at him. After hours of being awake, you found out that the bullet barely missed your heart, in fact, it slid past your heart, so you needed more surgery to fix that, but for now, you were, alive and fine.

Jimin: Jimin loves you, with everything he has, all his heart, and he loved to show you how much he loved you. So naturally even before going public, fans caught on, and fans actually loved you both, most armys loved you, and you were slowly growing your own fandom.

Jimin had a day off, so you guys decided to start a live stream on your Instagram together, you were streaming for about 4 hours until you became increasingly hungry, so you decided to travel with the live stream still running, you guys went to a small restaurant that you always went to, the owners knew you and they were fine with you live streaming in there, soon fans found where you and Jimin were and Jimin decided for your and his safety to call his personal bodyguards to just wait outside and keep any fans that weren’t going to eat outside.

So it wasn’t suspicious when a group of men walked in and started to order a bunch of food, you and Jimin sat there all lovey-dovey, and held hands together while feeding each other and live streaming the food, you took turns feeding each other and the fans went crazy in the comments loving the affections that went on between you two. About another 20 minutes passed and you look around and see the group of men looking right at you and your boyfriend, you brushed it off as maybe their looking at you because your filming yourselves and that’s not that normal. But you kept seeing from the corner of your eyes this one man who kept staring, your boyfriend was having such a fun time, that he didn’t realise, you didn’t want to ruin the mood and the atmosphere so you just looked past it. That was until he seemed to be taking something out, and his friends now have stopped moving altogether and they were staring too. You saw a gun from the corner of your eyes, not wanting anyone to worry, you kept smiling, until you saw him take aim, it didn’t look like it was aimed at you, but at your boyfriend, you instantly became stone-faced and looked at your boyfriend, trying to get him cover but it was too late, the gun was already shot and the only way to save him, was for you to get shot instead. You crossed in front of the bullet just before it hit him, it penetrated into your rib cage and you were on top of Jimin lifeless. Jimin instantly went from smiling and having the best time, to being scared shitless. Honestly, it would be a lie if Jimin remembered the events that followed, all he knew was you were shot, and he didn’t know what to do. You woke up hours later, luckily the bullet didn’t travel too far and it fractured your ribs and that was it, all you needed was to rest up a bit and take caution, the police came to interview you and see what happened, you told him everything that you could remember, and Jimin told him everything that he could remember, he excused himself out of the room, and when he returned you could see that he was crying. Y/N: “Baby, why are you crying?” Jimin: “I wasn’t able to protect you, I’m the one that’s meant to protect you and I couldn’t” Y/N: “Stop, what the hell Jimin, stop blaming yourself, I can’t see you break down like that” Jimin: “I’m sorry” Y/N: “Look at me, I want a hug, a nice long hug, can you do that?” He smiled and climbed under the covers and hugged you.

Taehyung: You and V dated for about a year before going public, he loved you and you loved him, Taehyung loved his hometown and wanted you to visit it with him, say hello to his parents and also go on vacation, you were both extremely stressed from your work and he wanted you to relax, you were on the train because let’s be honest driving down to Daegu would take forever and so taking the train was the next best option, Taehyung’s manager still came with the two of you because Taehyung was worried that you would get lost. So when you arrived in Daegu, you guys went to greet his parents and then you checked into the hotel and went to the dinner that was being held specifically for VIP guests. You were sitting and eating noodles and pizza, a weird combination but you guys were always so dorky that it didn’t surprise you that he picked pizza and you picked noodles, while you were eating, Taehyung pointed out the window and to the stars that were in the sky, it looked so beautiful that you couldn’t take your eyes off them, you couldn’t until you saw a weird man standing outside and staring at you and Tae, mostly Taehyung, but Tae didn’t see it, he didn’t really care because he was so used to people staring and looking at him.

But your guts told you otherwise, you looked out the window again and this time the man moved inside the hall, and he sat down at a table, he didn’t order anything which rang alarm bells in your head. Y/N: “Hey Tae let's go back to our room, I’m tired” Tae: “Really? You don’t want to eat more, that’s surprising are you ill or something?” Y/N: “No I’m just really tired” You didn’t want to tell him the man was creeping you out. As you two got up so did he, and he took something out of his black coat, and pointed it at Tae, it took you a few seconds to realise what it was, before Taehyung could see what it was you were on the ground, looking lifeless, you were hiccuping to get blood out of your throat and try to talk. Tae: “No don’t do it, don’t talk, stay still, you’ll be fine, I’m here, I’ve got you” Y/N: “I’m.. really… cold Tae….I’m… really….. tired” Tae: “No no no, don’t, don’t say anything just keep your eyes on me” You couldn’t anymore, Taehyung was now crying his eyes out, not caring what happens to the man that shot you, your eyes shut and he was practically screaming for someone to help. You woke up a whole day later, you felt really heavy and in so much pain. Tae: “Hey, you're awake, you’re safe now, don’t worry” It was Tae but his voice sounded deeper and raspier than usual. Y/N: “Tae? Where am I?” Tae: “You're okay, you're at the hospital, stay still don’t try to move too much, it’ll hurt.” Y/N: “Okay... I’m sorry if I made you worry” You fell back asleep and once you had enough energy to fully wake up, you found out that the man was following you and Tae from Seoul and he was planning on shooting Tae when you guys were leaving your hotel room, his reasoning was that he should’ve been in Tae’s place and you should be in love with him and not V. (Jealousy can be poisonous)

Jungkook: You and Jungkook had been dating for 3 years and it was 2 years since you went public, everyone loved the both of you, you hardly saw any hate comments, in fact, every comment would either say, please come on here more with Y/N or can you go on a show with Y/N, we miss her, and many love from many army’s. So Jungkook wanting to show you off some more, he would contact somewhere like we got married or anywhere that could feature Just the two of you. Wgm decided to feature the two of you on a special episode. The special thing was that it was going on live and nothing was going to be edited before being released, which could be the reason for what happened after. You guys were heading towards an amusement park for a fun day, you line up with Jungkook to go on the Koreas tallest ride, as always it was packed and you forgot to get the VIP tickets to skip the line, instead you waited in the line With cameras all around the two of you, and you were looking around while Jungkook decided to tie your hair up for you, you were smiling to yourself because of how sweet he was, until you saw a man, looking very out of place, slightly spazzing out, he was about 6 people behind you and kookie. Kookie: “I’m done, this line is so long” as much as he loved rides he wasn’t the most patient cookie in the jar. Y/N: “Oppa be patient, well get there soon, and then we can get a VIP ticket so we can skip these lines.” Kookie: “Ugh fine I’m only being patient because you’re here” You waited another 10 mins you were almost at the front, but it was just your luck that the ride was already full right in front of you and Jungkook, it seemed like you were hearing things, you turned around to see what that metal rattling together was, when you turned around you saw a pistol in the mans hand, you were internally freaking out, but you didn’t want to freak out if the gun wasn’t real, that issue was solved really fast when you saw him put in bullets into the pistol, he loaded the gun up and aimed it straight past you and towards Jungkook. Jungkook even getting a paper cut killed you and hurt you, so seeing a gun being aimed at him made you freak out more than if the gun was aimed at you, before you could even say anything he pressed the trigger and the gun shot out, your body automatically stood in front of Jungkook, the bullet felt like nothing for 2 seconds until you were in so much pain that you couldn’t even breath.

You were breathing heavy and Jungkook looked about ready to beat the man half to death, that was until you used your last strength to grab his hands and pull him into you, you blacked out, Jungkook being super worried thought you died.

(Let’s be real if I made you die then he would probably kill the guy and me…JKJK don’t eat me) You woke up hours later, to Jungkook that was still crying, with the rest of Bts who looked extremely worried too. Kookie: “Oh my god, you're awake, you're awake, your awake and alive, I'm gonna murder that guy” You grabbed his arms again Y/N: “Babe can you stay here with me, I’m scared, I don’t want you to go” Kookie: “Okay, I won’t go anywhere, I’ll be right here” You found out later that the man had escaped the mental asylum, he was mentally ill and tried to kill anyone that got in his way, of getting to you and ‘loving you’.

Hope you enjoyed.

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gothiccbts-blog · 5 years

Text

My Darling, Chapter 2

Genre: Murder Mystery, Horror, Angst (in this chapter)

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Summary: Working as a detective constable for 5 years definitely had you seeing some horrific scenes in your career. However, nothing would prepare you for the string of murders around the city which all had one intention; getting your attention.

Words: 4.4k

Author’s note: Hello! Sorry, this took so long to write, I was in London at the Wembley concerts (which were AMAZING btw) and also doing some shit in real life but here is chapter 2 finally!! Let me know what you think, thank you!! - Lisa

Chapter 1◀ ▶Next Chapter

‘Dear My Darling, Y/n Y/l/n,

Finally, my words meet your beautiful sparkling eyes, I can only imagine how they widen and still in shock as you take in each one of my words on this very piece of paper. Even writing this knowing that you’ll be holding it one day is getting me all excited here, detective~ haha.

You’re finally getting to notice something of me. Finally, I’m getting your attention. If only I could see your doe eyes in real life staring back into mine. You’re so beautiful, detective. I don’t think you get told that enough. You’re just surrounded by dogs who can’t see the true flower that’s right in front of their eyes, they don’t deserve to be in your presence. They don’t deserve you.

Anyway! You’re probably wondering; ‘why is all of this happening?’ ‘do I know this person?’ ‘am I being stalked?’ and as much as I would love to give you answers, I won’t. It would spoil the game, silly! A little game of ‘who did it?’ to keep you on your toes, detective, doesn’t that sound fun?~

I must leave now, places to go, people to see, people to kill… I’ll see you soon, detective <3,

But you won’t see me~

L.32’

7:28pm

“L.32’? What the fuck does that mean? Is this guy talking in code or something?” A frustrated and obviously anxious voice booms from beside me as he runs his hands over his pale face for the 10th time since he got into the lab, not that I was really listening at this point.

After seeing that letter on the ground of the night club’s freezer and having to open it with cold stiff hands, processing every word, process what was actually happening; You’ve been in a state of pure shock ever since. Apparently, it’s been almost 12 hours since you found the letter, for 12 hours you’ve been in this lab with forensics and other officers, but it all feels like 12 minutes at the most, your mind right now is in a dream-like state. You always see victims at crime scenes, ones who discovered or witnessed vile and outright evil acts that have been committed or even in TV shows, they’re sitting there like an empty shell of a human with a blanket wrapped around them just staring into nothing as though their whole entire being has been shut down within them. You never actually know how shock feels until you experience it yourself.

It’s trauma. Your body goes numb and suddenly everything around you is just in a state of blur, voices aren’t even reaching your ears, air isn’t reaching your lungs, your muscles tense up like they’ve turned to stone, unable to move from the ground you’re stood on, your brain is working at hyper speed trying to process and make sense of the events that have just occurred. That’s a shock. That’s what you’re having to deal with.

“I can’t say anything right now as we don’t have any results or answers back… we’re working as fast as we can on this, Officer.”

You’re very thankful for that voice, the deep and honey-rich voice that belongs to no other than your roommate and long-time best friend, Kim Namjoon. You both met back at University, you both having a keen interest in crime and forensics so you both instantly clicked. It all began with you being forced to work with him and a few other people on a group project, needless to say, you both bonded over how the other students weren’t helping with the project leading to endless nights of bitching. Oh, what a simple time that was.

You’re so happy and thankful to have him within this field with you working as a Forensic Scientist, he’s always been there from terrible boyfriends and break-ups to when you’re having a mental breakdown over a homicide case. He’s your rock and you couldn’t be more thankful for meeting the big tree of a man, plus he has a good taste in plants for your shared apartment so that’s always a plus.

“Hey, Y/n… you still with us?”

You’re quickly snapped out of your daydream when Namjoon waves his glove covered hand in front of your face, a small smile appearing on his lips, not in amusement but more in sympathy.

“I’m fine, Joon… Just a little… shocked, that’s all.” You say honestly if there’s anyone who can read you like a book it’s him so there’s no point in putting on a fake mask of being okay when you’re totally not.

“Maybe you should call it a day, y/n. You look really tired; a good night’s rest will do you some good,” He suggests, looking like he’s just witnessed a crying puppy in an alleyway as he looks down at you, your eyes must be revealing how drained you are to him as you look up at him,

“Plus, analysis on the paper, pen, and handwriting used on the letter will take a good day to come back with results, that and trying to pinpoint any clues or indications within the writing itself… you should use this time to rest, please.”

A hand comes in contact with your other shoulder, rubbing the numb skin a little as the body comes closer, making you break eye-contact with Namjoon to turn to face the person.

“He’s right, Miss y/l/n, you should call it a day… do you need me to give you a ride home?” Officer Min softly asks as he peers down at you, a look of sympathy on his face, mirroring Namjoon’s. It’s not often Officer Min changes his expression from his neutral ‘cold’ one, that’s another reason why he’s always picked to lead the homicide cases around the city, he’s got that threatening look to him which gets people to talk. You know he isn’t just a stone cold officer, you’ve noticed the little things he does to show he actually cares; getting you coffee when you’ve got a long night, making sure you eat and get home safely, making sure you’re not cold or not too warm. It’s the little things that you appreciate.

You shake your head, too drained from all of this to even bring yourself to say no, all you can let out is; “I need a walk, don’t worry…” before pushing yourself away from both of the men, grabbing your jacket and putting it over your vulnerable and stiff body, the weight of the jacket feels like it’s increased as though someone’s put boulders into your pockets, or maybe it’s your body that’s grown weak.

“be careful, Miss y/l/n, give me a call if you need anything…” Officer Min says, sympathy laced throughout his words before the man next to him speaks up,

“There are some leftovers in the fridge, heat them up then call it a night, you always forget to eat…” Namjoon states more than he suggests, he’s always looking out for you especially during big cases like this, although all of those cases seem pretty little now.

With a nod and a forced smile, you make your way to exit the building, just trying to keep whatever Namjoon has left in the fridge for you in mind rather than the nauseating letter that’s sat in that very lab.

8:00pm

The cold piercing air brushes against your exhausted and discoloured skin as you make your way down the damp pavement, the streetlights being your only source of sight as well as some car’s headlights which would pass now and then. It’s weird, you thought, how your mind isn’t bursting at the seams with possibilities and questions into the events that occurred tonight but rather it’s quiet. Not a single thought or idea is running its way through your mind and developing into worries and ‘what if’s, instead you’re just enjoying the silence of the world around you. The silence of the street. The silence in your head.

As if your body was being controlled by someone else, you’re stopped dead in your tracks, right in front of a pathway coming off of the pavement, only lit by a single orange street light in the middle of it. You head slowly turning as your eyes scan the concrete of the ground trying to figure out why your body had the sudden urge to stop as you made your way home.

Your eyes widen as realisation dawns on you as to where this other path leads to; The Stigma Nightclub. You should’ve guessed since the faint noise of the club’s bass travels through the air to where you’re standing, cold in the middle of a dimly lit pavement.

The murder all seems different now, it isn’t just something you can detach yourself from and solve through an outsider’s perspective, this time you’re entangled in this mess. This involves you now, that what makes this murder so much different. You were on this person’s mind as he was slaughtering this poor boy, you were on this person’s mind when he stained his fingers with the person’s blood and smeared it on the cold brick wall of the club. You.

Without any thought, you’re moving in the direction of the bass and laughter, seems like Mr. Jung hasn’t decided to keep the club closed for even a few days after the murder happened. Not that you’re surprised in the slightest, he is money hungry after all and he doesn’t hide it. All you have to do is take one look at what he’s wearing and you’ll know that he’s proud of his bank account. Always the latest designer watches, rings, personally designed suits and shoes, his outfits alone are easily over a million dollars.

Your eyes burn at the sight of the vibrant pink neon sign at the club’s entrance piercing through the darkness of the night. It’s pretty packed outside already with girl’s shivering in their tight and short bodycon dresses and men who are obviously trying to look impressive and appealing to whoever they can get their hands on. They’re all waiting like caged animals behind a red rope waiting for the club to open at 9pm.

Just shows how popular this club really is, even with murder right outside its doorstep there’s still people coming here waiting to fill their stomachs with alcohol. You can’t blame them really I mean, you used to be one of them.

You move before you catch the stern eyes of one of the bouncers, who seem to be occupied by an already very drunk and touchy girl trying to get in early, heading to the side of the club which is still covered in police tape and markings of where the boy’s body was. From the looks of things, the crime scene cleaners have already come since all is left of the murder is the faint red stains on the concrete of the ground and the brick wall.

You duck under the police tape with shaky legs, your wide eyes focused on the brick wall of the club, the faint stain of the embedded message still slightly visible.

‘My Darling..’ you mumble to yourself, your stiff fingers moving out to touch the cold wall like a puppet being controlled by some string, your brain congested with the question of who the hell would write this message specifically for you? And why? What did they want from You?

A bright flash of white light had you snap out of your trance, your glossed over eyes rapidly blinking in order to get your eyes back in focus as you turn to the direction of the sound of movement.

A figure. You can’t identify who it is as you squint, the person seems to have their hood up and… is that a camera?

Whoever this seems not to have noticed you yet, you are pretty far back in the alley since you were looking at the writing, plus this person clearly is focused on something else rather than you.

Maybe they’re forensics? Weird, I thought Officer Min’s team was finished here, especially since everything’s been cleaned up... You thought, staying as still as you can so you can try and take in as much of this person’s appearance before getting noticed, luckily the sound of people’s laughter and shouting from the front of the club are drowning out the noise of your rapid breathing from fright.

They’re lean... tall... maybe 5’9”? 5’10”? Pale from what I can see from their hands around the camera lens... looks male from their build…

The bright flash of light illuminates the alleyway, giving me a millisecond of the appearance of the stranger. Obviously, this boy appears to have noticed me too by the way his brown doe-like eyes widened as his shutter went off. He’s wearing an oversized black hoodie with the hood up, the peak of his dark brown fringe coming out from underneath, pale glowing skin.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

Trying to sound as stern and intimidating as I can, I take a few steps towards the boy who is obviously in a panicked state by the way his shoulders are tensed up and his fingers tighten around the camera.

“What are you doing at a crime scene, you know I could have you arr- hey!”

Before I could even reach him or finish my sentence, he makes a run for it, his head quickly ducking underneath the tape as he sprints over the wet pavement, as far away from the club as he can. My natural instinct is to sprint after him, my own fitness level only allowing me to run so fast. This boy is obviously quite fit if he can this fast! Must be an athlete or something! Your thighs and calves are already on fire and you’re not even going at half the speed he is.

“Stop running! Hey!”

Your loud and strained shout, obviously not going to the gym for a while has worn you out easily, must have startled him as the next thing you hear is a smash of what sounds like glass, his camera.

Quickly scrambling to pick it up, leaving pieces of his shattered camera on the wet pavement as he makes a run for it again before he’s out of sight, jumping over a nearby fence into god knows where, probably some poor family’s garden.

With painful breaths you slowly make your way to where he dropped his camera, looking down to see broken glass and some plastic. Deserves him right for creeping on a crime scene.

‘Shit…’

As you’re about to walk away, pissed now that you have to call Officer Min and tell him exactly what just happened in detail, something else on the ground catches your eye where the smashed camera parts are laying. Squatting down, you pick it up from the murky ground, rubbing off some of the dirt with your thumb. It’s a little small black piece of plastic in the square-like shape, but you know exactly what it is; an SD card. A proud smirk takes over your dried-out lips. Let’s go see what other photos you take, creep.

8:45pm

Your exhausted body finally relaxes as you flop onto the soft comfort of your sofa, not bothering to take off your jacket or your shoes, it’s too much effort to do right now. The last thing you needed tonight was to do a 100-meter dash in the most uncomfortable shoes in the world but who knows what this job will throw at you, all you know is: you’re in dire need of a massage and some wine.

Finally dragging your deflated body off of the couch, you drag your feet into the kitchen, immediately going to the wine rack that you and Namjoon keep stocked up and grab one of the cheapest bottles of red wine. Grabbing a glass from the top shelf of your cupboard with a drawn-out groan and pouring yourself a well-deserved drink, not before grabbing the bottle and taking it back to the couch with you. You already know the whole bottle is going to be empty by the end of the night.

A loud moan escapes your lips as you take off your torturous shoes, if the neighbours had heard they’d think you were finally hooking up with someone. Truth is, after Taehyung you were never with anyone else, not even one-night stands sounded appealing to you. In your mind, if it wasn’t Taehyung then why bother? He was the one you wanted, why settle for anyone else?

Now you’re too busy to look for anyone else after your heart was broken, you didn’t see a point in trying to build a relationship again, truth is you never got over him. How could you? You had your whole future planned with him from your wedding, honeymoon, future house, future kids, and then for it all to be shattered by his hands and thrown away was just too much for you. How could you move on after something like that?

The piercing taste of the cheap wine hitting your taste buds takes you away from those thoughts, I can’t be thinking of that now!

Suddenly remember what you picked up tonight, you reach into your jacket pocket and take out the still dirty SD card. Wiping away some of the dirt from the small golden plates, you grab my laptop and carefully put in into the correct slot, your chipped fingernails drumming on the surface of the laptop in the anxiety of what I might find.

If this guy is weird enough to take photos of a crime scene, who knows what else I’ll find on this thing…maybe I should call Officer Min first…

Glancing at your phone on the table, you shake your head, he’ll probably be passed out or too busy with Forensics right now to bother with this. Plus, that means calling him and you’re really not in the mood for any more human interaction for the night, today has been too rough.

Finally, your laptop is able to read the damaged SD card, multiple files appearing on your screen. This guy must use this SD card a lot seeing as there are multiple folders on here. Looking at his first glance you’d think that this was a normal person��s memory card, files such as ‘Holiday 2017’, ‘Photography’ and ‘Other’ are all carefully organised.

Moving your cursor, you click on the file titled ‘Photography’ and before you know it your screen is filled with various photos; photos of anything you could imagine. Plants, buildings, the sea, architecture, clouds, people, this is everything you would see in the portfolio of a professional photographer. If you didn’t think this guy was such a creep you’d be impressed with his work, doesn’t look like he’s going to be taking any more professional photos like these for a while considering he smashed his lens running.

Going back, you try to find some of the photos he took tonight, he couldn’t have deleted them while he was running. Biting the skin of your lip as you move onto the ‘Other’ folder, the grey blank squares slowly loading to reveal what you were looking for.

These aren’t just photos of this crime scene; these are photos from so many crimes scenes. You click on one, a small gasp coming from you as you take it in in all its glory. He took these while police were there, while forensics themselves were taking photos! How did he even manage to sneak there without anyone noticing?

Skipping to the next photo, your heart is frozen stiff when your brain finally picks apart what it is that’s staring at you from the screen. It’s you. This photo must have been from like last year from what you can tell from the length of your hair, plus you don’t wear that jacket anymore.

In the photo you’re facing a body on the floor, you remember; It was a robbery gone wrong. Poor guy was making his way home from work from a car insurance company in town, some young boys decided it was a good idea to try and rob the guy, needless to say, they got what they wanted. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you look as though mid-conversation, probably with Officer Min who is usually always by your side, even back then.

The photo is just focused on you, this guy is obviously using his professional photography skills in order to capture you. You try to steady your breathing, trying not to jump to the conclusion that you’re already thinking; is this man linked with the murder?

With a sudden harsh press to the ‘esc’ button, the photo is quickly removed from your screen, your shaking fingers coming up to rub your tired eyes. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.

As you’re about to pull the SD card out of its slot in your laptop, a sick feeling washing over your exhausted body unable to look at anymore, sudden realisation dawn over you. There’s still another folder on this memory card. It’s innocently titled ‘Holiday 2017’.

Swallowing, your fingers find the touchpad and move the cursor over to the file, closing your eyes as you double click, god knows what this sick fuck will have hidden in her- huh?

It’s… it’s literally holiday photos.

Photos of the beach, family members, group photos, drinks and food, lots of happy smiles. Thank god, no more photos of dead bodies or even you. You sigh out in relief, grabbing your wine glass again as you skim through all the photos, seeing if anyone matches the physic of the boy you saw tonight.

Downing the remainder of your glass, you sigh out, looks like this guy was taking more photos of his friends and family rather than have him in them. Well, it’s a start I guess, I could always take these to Officer Min and look through some databases for any identification of any of these people. Hopefully, some are family members, that would just be grand.

Pausing at one photo you notice that it isn’t older people anymore, it appears to be young men, look around the age of the boy tonight. Leaning in towards the screen, you scan the bodies before you reach one face in particular, your intoxicated brain taking a moment to identify who the person in this photo is.

‘No… it can’t be…’

Moving your fingers on the touchpad, you zoom in on the man’s face, a sharp intake in breath fills your lungs. It’s him.

It’s Jimin. Taehyung’s roommate. Smiling on the beach with some other guys you don’t recognise.

Oh, what a night this is.

Friday 7:38am

After seeing that image of Jimin on that man’s SD card, you already knew exactly what you were doing today. Let’s just hope Jimin still lives in the same place as before and hopefully he isn’t home. The last thing you need is to be faced to face with the man that broke your heart again.

“Baby? You awake?” a deep and husky voice said into your ear, the feeling of a hand rubbing the side of your thigh also pulls you out of your slumber.

“Mmm, well now I am…” you smile sleepily, keeping your eyes closed as you move your hand on top of his, your fingertips brushing over the smooth skin of his hand.

“You know… Jimin’s out right now, he got called into work early…” the feeling of wet pecks being placed against your neck has a giggle escape from your lips, your eyes fluttering open slightly.

“And? What are you suggesting, Tae?” you innocently ask, feeling his hand turn to intertwine his long slender fingers with yours, his leg managing to make its way in-between yours.

“Well… It involves a lot of this…” he says as he places more and more kisses all over your neck, his teeth grazing against the skin of your neck.

“This…” his hand is now released from your fingers, slowly making its way up your stomach just below your breasts, a teasing laugh escaping his lips as he runs his fingers between the valley of your breasts till it reaches under your chin, where he tilts your head towards his.

“and maybe just some of this…” he grins, leaning in to place his plump lips onto yours, both of you smiling into the kiss as my moves his body on top of yours.

You stop your car with a loud sigh, just staring at your steering wheel before slowly tearing it away to look at the apartment complex in front of you. Oh, how it’s been so long since you’ve been here. You practically lived here with Taehyung when you were dating, you both were inseparable. The last time you were here was when your heart was broken.

Shaking that memory from your head, it’s too early to be thinking back to that, you think. This is for business, for work, there are people’s lives in danger here you shouldn’t let your past come in the way of this. Who knows what will happen if you don’t catch this creepy bastard.

The clicking of your shoes echoes through the hallway of the apartment, making your way up the cold concrete stairs up to the 3rd floor, you know now never to take the lift, the amount of times you got stuck in that metal death trap is unbelievable! Although you and Taehyung always made most of your time alone in there.

The familiar sight of the discoloured wooden door with the number ‘36’ displayed in silver is now in front of you, a breathy laugh comes from your lips; looks like they never did get round to painting the door again, no matter how many times you told them.

You look at your watch, it’s almost 8am, Jimin doesn’t usually leave to work in his family’s butchers till 9am which means he should be up. That is if he still even works there. Let’s just hope Taehyung is passed out or moved out, you pray.

Your knuckles bang against the wood before stepping back, your jaw clenching with nerves as you hear shuffling from behind the door, keeping your head down as you hear the fumbling of keys and the lock turning.

You bring your head up when the door is swiftly brought open, the lump in your throat now getting even bigger when you see who’s answered the door.

“Y-y/n? Baby?”

Oh no.

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comicbooksidecharacter · 5 years

Text

Hiraeth [Part 6]

Bucky Barnes X OC (Amelia Stone)

Hiraeth: (n.) “longing or deep yearning for a place, time, feeling or person long gone; or that never was.”

Previously: The OC was tortured at HYDRA base, and was saved by the Avengers. She has no recollection of what happened to her for 8 months. Her nightmares and PTSD cause her to take a break from the Avengers. She lives anonymously in Romania, until a blue eyed stranger seems to recognize her.

Panting and trying to make sense of what happened, she decided to go back to the bus stop. She couldn't look for him. Her wits wrestled with her guilt for an upper hand. She SHOULD be doing something about this. What if he were HYDRA? The bus was due in 10 minutes and she was sitting on one of the chairs, feeling her belly. He hadn't kicked her as hard as he could have, just enough to make her fall. His questions, those eyes, and that unfathomable look in them, sketched themselves onto her memory. No matter how much she tried, no answer turned up. What did turn up was a headache so she let it go.

Her thoughts took a sharp turn when she heard the sound of explosions going off somewhere. It was from a nearby apartment building somewhere. People began to shuffle and run away, eager to take the first shelter they find. Her own eyes rose to the sky, and her mouth gaped when she saw someone jump off some 20th floor to the neighboring roof. This man, if she could calculate the silhouette well, was one with nerve. Then another jumped off. And then another.... the man who's shadow she could read in the dark. Steve Rogers.

She wanted to keep out of it even though her heart told her to go help. But Steve was there so it would be fine. By the time the bus arrived, she was the only one who got up and told the very anxious driver that he should just drive. It was around 7 in the evening when she heard the knock on her door. It could either be three people: her landlord to collect rent early, one of the woodpeckers who lived in a tree nearby, or Steve Rogers.

"Why the hell are you here?", She asked. Steve leaned in to give her a hug. God it felt good to have him here. She could cry. He was such a good friend and a good leader. Her eyes were glistening when he let her go.

"I had to come see you", he smiled, looking around her house and then her, from head to toe, like a mother, trying to examine if the girl was okay after all. "Considering that you didn't even call me knowing I was in Romania."

"I don't watch TV so much", she said, ushering him in. He did seem like he had to leave but he could sit a few minutes.

"How are you?"

"Better. Seeing you here..."

"I'm here too", another sound fell in her ear that genuinely made her laugh.

"SAM!"

She almost jumped into Sam's arms, feeling her heart beat harder and slower, promising herself not to cry. "Long time no see."

"Yeah", Sam said, studying her little establishment. "Wait.", she spoke, "Does anyone know you're here?"

"No one", Steve said, "Sam will stay quiet about this too"

She smiled and told them to sit while she made coffee and brought them something to eat. They talked about everything. They even told her why they were there. Steve had to put his hand under her chin and close it for her when he told her about the accords, and that he was actually there to get Bucky. The complicated ordeal with T’Chaka and his son was also discussed.

"Seems like whenever I am NOT around, the most dramatic situations take place in the Avengers' Initiative"

There was silence. Not a serene one, an awkward one. Words were forming in Steve's head, but couldn't find their way out. Sam's eyes turned to Cap over and over again, and Ellie was surprised that even he couldn't blurt whatever haunted his mind.

"We need your help, Ellie", Steve finally heaved. "There's something that's come up and we need someone with a mind as ...."

"Twisted", Sam filled in, making her roll her eyes.

"INTELLIGENT", Steve said pointedly, "as yours to help us through this predicament."

Silence prevailed like darkness does in the night. She was rummaging her mind for peace, for calmness to hear him out, but as soon as he mentioned the team, all she felt was a pang in her chest. The memories of the painful nights in the tower re-emerged, fresh, as if they never had left.

"I would never have asked you, but seeing that Tony has already made up his mind about the accords and the other smart guy has gone, we need your help."

"Steve, I can't go back there. At least not now", she replied, "Not when...."

Steve and Sam's heads shot up with curiosity, given because of her condition to be honest. "I just don't feel good about this right now. I have a lot of baggage to go through and..." "Not when what?", Sam rather abruptly reeled the conversation back to the elephant in the room, when both Steve and Amelia didn't have to courage to continue the discussion.

"Not when THIS is happening", she said and drew in a big breath. Her fingers traced along the collar of her shirt and she gently pulled it downwards, allowing their eyes to set on the wound. They had first seen it bleeding during a fight, and then covered in bandages when she woke up.

The wound was a strange color of red and black now, looking like angry hot lava covered by a layer of iron dust. No wound was supposed to look like this, unless something was very wrong.

"What is this?", Steve asked, pointing at it, "How long has it been like that? Did you get it checked?"

"They say it's partial nerve damage because a small chunk of my flesh was gone, I guess. A depression in the cavity or whatever they call it. Apart from that, nothing wrong, medically."

"But?", Sam chimed in, curious enough that the hair at the back of his neck seemed to stand out.

"But I don't know. There are days when the wound is fine. Other days it hurts like someone is scratching open my flesh. And somedays, like today, it is BURNING."

"It could just be... one of those injuries that never fully heal", Sam gave a faint smile, "I had a buddy in the battalion who lost a foot and still complains about pain to this day."

"It's not a normal wound. I don't know what it is...", her shirt was covering the wound again.

"Are you sure?", Steve spoke in a doubtful tone again. She looked at him incredulously. "Are you sure that you don't know what it is?"

"Steve the last time you asked me this question..."

"Well, I don't know what to say about this or believe in, Amelia!", Steve said, hands on his waist, brows furrowed because of some mental torment. "First that incident. And that could be an accident, but now this. If you're scared that we are going to judge you, don't be. We are a team. We help each other out."

"Nothing is wrong with me Steve", she pleaded, "I really don't know about either of the two incidents you've mentioned. I just..."

"Just what? Amelia just come with us. Please. Tony could have it checked out and you'd be fine... what if it's.... some sort of ... "

"I don't want to come back Steve. I'm not ready yet. I don't think I can operate properly as long as I have these things clouding my objectivity. Avengers' strategists should be on top of their game."

"Even when you're not on top of your game, you can plan better than any of us", Sam said. "Cap is right. You should come with us now. That THING could kill you one of these days, worst case scenario."

She shook her head and crashed on the sofa, a throbbing headache welcoming her to the reality of her predicament. Steve and Sam looked at each other defeatedly.

"I'm sorry guys. Not today. I would never hesitate to help you, you know that. But my mental state isn't helping me here..."

"You're being inconsiderate. Of yourself. And of your team."

"I'm. being. inconsiderate?", she repeated the words, "I am trying to hold on to the few fragments of sanity I've got left inside me, and I'm the one being inconsiderate? I'm here trying to find some MEANING behind my life, and trying to hold on to reality when my mind is going numb because of my mental issues. I know you see things differently than I do, but the last thing I am being or want to be, is inconsiderate."

A woodpecker had probably settled into the left wall of the cabin that faced the lake, seeming to flow gentler than it did in the morning. There was a constant pecking on the wall now. She went ahead and tapped on the wall, a rushed sound of feathered escape faded in the background. "If I go back there, the nightmares might return." "Maybe.." "and this wound, and my head too, will be in pain..." "And the only way to avoid all of this is to stay away from the whole superhero trying to protect the earth thing....." "I can't come back. I didn't say I won't come back EVER. I meant not now. As soon as I think that I am better, or if my wound gets WORSE and I dont know what to do with it, I'll be there in a heartbeat."

"Okay.", Steve sighed, his tone drenched in worry and sadness. They began to pick up their jackets. She just realized that birds had come back to whatever tiny homes they had built in the woods, because the symphony had started.

"By the way", she said, rubbing her forehead, "You never showed me this Bucky guy. What does he look like? I mean, I have had the honor of being shot at by him. But I'm really curious to see his face."

Sam took out his phone and seemed to fidget with it before giving it to her. She turned the screen to herself. There he was, that mysterious blue-eyed man, surrounded by numerous SHIELD agents, next to a man clad in a black cat? suit. The incident of the morning replayed itself before her.

"I'm coming with you", she announced.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #winter soldier imagines #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier #sam wilson #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #tony stark #steve rogers #hiraeth part 6 #hiraeth #marvel #marvel imagines #avengers #avengers imagine

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mayabriane · 5 years

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My Birth Story

March 17, 2019, it was the day Larry got back home from being on tour and away from me for 3 months, excited isn’t the word to describe how we both felt anticipating this day. Knowing he had his first Atlanta show with Ella coming in just two days, we started Operation: Get Sol Here. Power walking in Piedmont and the hallways on our floor, eating spicy eggplant from Planet Bombay on Moreland (I got a level 4 in spice and almost died lol), having sex lmao (laughable because of how big and uncomfortable I was and how nervous Larry was lmao), etc. but through it all we tried to remain patient. I was a nervous wreck because I REFUSED to believe or accept Larry not being able to be here for Sol’s birth. He had a few more dates of tour left after the 22nd so if she didn’t come on her due date, March 20th, there was a possibility he would miss her. He had even worked with them so he could stay 2 days after her due date where he would miss 2 shows. We were really determined.

March 19, 2019, my 28th birthday and the first night of Larry’s Atlanta show with Ella. Sol was still chilling. I was having very minor, inconsistent contractions so me and my Mama headed to the show. We danced the night away. Left the Tabernacle and headed to get something to eat before calling it a night. Wishing, hoping, praying that labor would kick in and we could head to the hospital. But still no sign of Sol. I kept growing more and more anxious but Larry was determined and kept faith that she would come while he was here.

March 20, 2019, 2nd night of Larry’s Atlanta show with Ella and with still no sign of Sol coming my mom, Ti Lori, Cameron and I headed to the show. Danced the night away again and ended our night going to eat at R.Thomas. Although the evening was perfect, full of family, love and laughter, the fear of Sol not coming before Larry had to leave was growing stronger and stronger.

I was desperate. I asked advice from my beautiful and amazing doula, Akiyla, who shared a not so enticing but possibly successful natural method to induce labor; a concoction that’s main ingredient was Castor Oil. Because I couldn’t find all of the ingredients, I just put a tablespoon of Castor Oil in some pineapple juice and drank it. The purpose of this was to kickstart contractions that would send me into active labor.

At 3:30 AM on March 22, 2019, I started having painful, regular contractions. As they got closer and closer together I became more and more excited, THIS WAS IT!!! Akiyla helped me monitor the contractions and headed to our apartment. My mom had stayed the night with Larry and I so she was already here. I woke them up, took a quick shower and once Akiyla arrived my contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. We called my doctor and they instructed me to go into the office to be checked.

Larry, my mom, Akiyla and I crammed into a small room in the doctor’s office for them to monitor my contractions and Sol’s heart rate. For some reason the machine wasn’t picking them up so the midwife came in to check my cervix. She said I was about 1 centimeter dilated, which was NOTHING and greatly concerned us because that meant I hadn’t made much progress. So she asked if I wanted her to sweep my membranes. For those who aren’t familiar, sweeping or stripping the membranes is an in office procedure where the midwife or doctor uses a gloved hand and inserts their finger into the cervix and separates the amniotic sack from the uterine wall. Basically damn near as painful as giving birth. I agreed to have her sweep them and just as quick as it happened I was screaming and crying. Agony. Because I was 2 days past my due date she sent me to the hospital to start labor. Before we headed to the hospital, we went to breakfast at Another Broken Egg, and by this time my contractions were starting to subside. I was so nervous but still determined to get Sol here.

We went and checked in at Northside. They sent me up to my room, I gave them my records and birth plan, got undressed and hooked up to have Sol’s heartbeat monitored and then all the contractions STOPPED.

We sat there for hours and hours and nothing. The first midwife came in and checked my cervix and said I was only 2 centimeters dilated. Not much progress at all. I became desperate again, and now so was Larry because we knew that he had to leave Atlanta the next day. Before all of this my plan was to go completely natural but now we started talking induction. We decided that we wanted to do induction because the midwife said that they would just give me Pitocin and that would kick start labor and I would dilate. Cool. We pushed the green button on that and waited for next steps.

Hours upon hours past and the 2nd midwife had still not arrived. We were growing more and more anxious and by this time me and Larry were impatient. I was growing even more concerned as well because my Mom was scheduled to leave Atlanta in just a couple days. The midwife finally came in and we started discussing induction with her. But before we got all the way into it she wanted to check my cervix to make sure she provided the best recommendation for induction. She checked and told me I was 1 centimeter dilated. She then explained that just giving me Pitocin would not work. She further explained that my cervix needed to be softened to dilate before contractions could kick start. That meant two steps before I could even start labor which also meant a ton of drugs and procedures that I was not feeling at all.

As we sat there in the room we all started to talk and try to make the best decision. Initially we chose the option that was the least complicated, but as I sat there with my mind and heart racing I knew that this wasn’t the right thing to do. As hard of a pill it was to swallow I knew that Sol was not ready to come yet and I did not want to try to FORCE her to come. Larry and I were devastated. We cried in each other’s arms because we knew now how great the possibility was that he would miss her birth.

I cried so much and felt so defeated like I had let everyone down. Why wouldn’t my body do what it needed to do to bring our baby here? But then I remembered the countless times both Larry and I said and held firm on, that God’s plan was bigger than all of us. That he would make it so that everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to. And with pain and disappointment in my heart I swallowed this pill too and brought in the next day with faith. Larry ended this night before heading home by giving me the most beautiful Push Gift ever; a gold necklace with two little baby feet as the pendant, on the front of each foot is an aquamarine which is my and Sol’s birthstone, and on the back of each foot was her first and middle name engraved. I wear it everyday now ❤️

Days came and went and there was still no sign of Sol coming. On Monday, March 25th I went back into the doctor’s office for another appointment. She told me that if I had not gone into labor by Wednesday that I would need to come back in on Friday for us to start discussing induction, which also could mean C-section. NOPE. I was not having it. So I walked and walked and walked and walked some more. On the evening of March 25th I went to the gym and power walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes, did some squats then went back to my apartment. Just me and my big pregnant belly. My mom was staying with Ti Lori and Larry was back on the road finishing tour.

At 3:30 AM on March 26, 2019, a very painful contraction woke me up out of my sleep. As I laid there 10 minutes later another one came. I was like ok I need to go to the bathroom. As I walked to the bathroom I noticed that it was oddly wet between my legs and I was dripping a little heading to the door. Once I hit the bathroom door and turned on the light my water broke all over the floor. I thought I had peed all over myself because of how it felt but I texted Akiyla anyway and told her. She told me that if I continued to leak fluid after going to the bathroom that it was def my water. By this time my contractions were growing stronger and closer together and I was def still leaking. Omg...it was finally happening. I called my mom and woke her up and told her to head over immediately because it was time. Both her and Akiyla rushed here and took me to the hospital.

Got checked in and so the long journey of labor began. When they initially checked me they found that I had ruptured meconium, meaning Sol had pooped inside of me. They weren’t extremely concerned but knew they had to monitor her heart rate and once she was born check her immediately to make sure she had not swallowed or inhaled in the meconium.

For 10 hours I groaned, rocked and moaned through excruciating contractions trying to stay determined to go natural. My mom and Akiyla stayed by my side. I threw up three times. By this point I was so weak and exhausted I could barely sit up. So I asked for some pain medicine. They came in an gave me 2 shots, one of morphine and the other to help with nausea. That calmed me some but just a little. The contractions were getting worst. At the 13th hour they came in to check my cervix, I was only THREE CENTIMETERS dilated. NO WAY. And I had to get all to the way to TEN!? And it had already been THIRTEEN hours!? How much longer would it take!? How much more could I take?! Nope. That was it for me. I told them I wanted the epidural.

I got the epidural, craziest feeling ever. It felt like a skinny cold worm wiggled through my spine. Not long after that I was numb from the waist down. I couldn’t even lift my legs or rotate from side to side. And I was shivering uncontrollably. But I could no longer feel the contractions (bright side). They came in and checked me again I was 5 centimeters. Some progress but still not enough so they gave me Pitocin. Only a little bit made my contractions so strong the epidural was wearing off and they were extremely close so they took me off the Pitocin and let me ride the rest of it out with just the epidural. More time went by then they came in again and checked me, I was 9 centimeters. Omg NOW it was REALLY time. They called the Midwife to come which felt like AN ETERNITY for her to get there.

I was experiencing so much pressure it caused me to shit on myself twice. Yes, I shit on myself. I was so angry and annoyed WHERE was the midwife!!?? Finally she came in and it was time to get in the position to push. With Larry on FT, my mom holding one leg back and Akiyla holding my foot I started pushing. Everytime I felt pressure I would have to get in position and push as hard as I could for 10 straight seconds without breathing, let 3 seconds pass and push again for 10 seconds for THREE PUSHES. At the end of each round I was crying and trying to catch my breath frustrated because each last push felt like I was doing it enough. They kept trying to make me wear the oxygen mask, but it was giving me anxiety so I kept pulling it off. On top of all that it felt like Sol was coming out and going back in (btw I could feel everything except the contractions) so I asked for the mirror so I could see my progress. And OMG there was her head FULL of hair. Now it was ON lol

For 38 minutes I pushed and pushed and pushed and then at 2:03 AM she came. The moment of her coming through the birth canal at the last moment before she was Earth side, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt or probably will ever feel. I had transcended from Earth to spirit world. I was levitating. I was absolutely weightless, completely surrounded by a warm but gentle cloud of light and love. Unreal. I balled. So did Larry and so did my mom. Our beautiful baby girl was finally here. Our Sol Marie. 7 lbs 10 ounces, 21 inches long. And I was completely transformed. Since that day I was never the same. Life has all new meaning as does love.

My birth story was not like I imagined it would be and that is exactly the way it was supposed to be. Unpredictable. Unexpected. Unique. Surreal. But perfect. Perfect for me and our daughter.

If you read through this entire story you are just as crazy as me lol no but seriously, THANK YOU. Thank you for taking the time out to read my story and in a way share the journey with me.

Peace and blessings to you all, especially the Mamas. I love y’all.

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daru6kin · 3 years

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Two girls:

Content warning: suicide

Once upon a time there were two girls, two girls who only trusted each other. It was always them against the world. Until one of them fell in love with the other. It started simply; they sat closer to each other; they wrote each other long letters every week; they spoke to one another so freely that it made the gods so jealous that they destroyed it. The love the girls shared amazed Aphrodite so much that she swore she was going to protect it at all cost.The light-haired girl's crush for the brunette girl suddenly became love, and to some even obsession, but the brunette was also in love with the light-haired one, or so her heart said.

It was a cold February, when the light-haired realised she couldn't hold her feelings just to herself anymore, so she wrote a love letter to the brunette to declare her feelings.Days went on and on as the bookworm girl grew anxious about the answer of her love.After a week she received a pleasant, yet terrible answer.The brunette did in fact love her as no one ever had because nobody got this close to see through the ugly cracks of the perfect girl.As the light girl grew excited and continued through the letter, she read that her dark broken mind was holding their love behind.Hearing those news the girl fell down to her knees, holding the letter to her broken heart, hoping it would erase the pain.

They say that time heals,but not in this case.As the days went on and on the girls acted like this confession, this conflict never happened.The light-haired started getting more tired and miserable every day trying to hold the pieces of her past happiness, while the brunette started closing her heart because her parents had lost their love before.The love and warmness that the father long time ago offered was replaced with anger and coldness, the hugs in this family were now unfamiliar comfort as the beatings took place.The mother once caring and full of life, was now a numb coward scared for herself unable to protect her daughter.As for the daughter she always knew it was her against her family so she decided to become more of a monster or manipulator than her father was on her way to freedom.Suddenly the two girls who knew only the trust and love for each other became a cold manipulator and a fragile mess.

But the fragile one didn't give up on the brunette.They ignored their feelings until once a month after the light-haired gained confidence and asked the other girl once again.Even though the brunette still confessed her love to the other one she always said no,which the girl respected and never mentioned it until the next month.At first sight you wouldn't notice any sadness or anger in the two girls,at least the light-haired one,Francheska was her name.Her motivation disappeared,she lost all interest in everything including her friends,aside from the girl she loved and worshiped,which slowly turned into toxic obsession eating every piece of happiness she possessed. Numbness,tiredness,hunger and obsession were the only things Francheska felt.At some point even her parents noticed,her dad started telling jokes to her more often and her mom reminded her every day how strong and proud of her she was.Things got worse at the end of March for the girls.They argued for the first time since they were friends.It was a catastrophe.

The day was 26th March and the brunette had finally said yes to a date.Francheska felt happiness for the first time in weeks,but that was soon to change.The day was an ordinary one,she had her plan ready.They had 1 hour date before meeting another friend.As the lovesick girl walked to the meeting spot she skipped every sad song on her player because nothing could ruin her mood.Oh,god, how wrong she was!When she arrived the brunette hadn't arrived yet,it was alright, she wasn't the most punctual person.5 minutes past still no one,so Francheska texted her: "Gonna be 10 minutes late" said the message.It was okay that they still got time,but the demons in her head became louder."What if she stands you up?","Maybe she doesn't love you.", "Just a love game for her.", but the lovesick pushed the demons away because the brunette was the only person she trusted,she could never betray her trust.If only she knew.As the brunette said after 10 minutes she was her beautiful as Aphrodite herself.Though she brought more terrible news Francheska still couldn't take her eyes off her.There wasn't going to be a date because their third friend has come 30 minutes early.That sentence finished the last piece motivation Francheska had.All her plans,all her mood gone in the trash.For seconds the happy, full of life Francheska had become the numb. Replying with short answers to the girl she loved or she thought she did,Francheska was lost to her dark thoughts,which almost got true that night.As the three friends met the brunette continued her talk with the newcomer,Francheska didn't even hear their talk anymore.She just wanted to escape to be alone.Her breathing got faster and she started shaking.The other girls were discussing something about a bar,which was the least thing Francheska needed.Suddenly they were in front of the Mexican place to eat something,but Francheska was so anxious that she couldn't even think about eating.While waiting for the brunette girl to take her food,the girl who ruined her day and her chances with her love,started talking.Francheska answered simply,shortly and sarcastic to every asked question.As the fragile girl got annoyed,the brunette was ready and sat on a bench to eat.Francheska couldn't pretend she was happy to be here with them,she couldn't pretend anymore so she simply stood up and ran,ran like a coward from her friends.Maybe if she had told them something,it would have been different but we will never know.She walked as fast as she could to get out of their sight.Then she bought her favorite tea to calm herself down and called her best friend.A friend she hadn’t talked to for 2 months, a friend who was always there for her - through the good and the bad.That day Francheska had the longest phone call in her life.

That night she made the hardest decision she had ever made.At first she thought about giving up,just jumping off the window and being done with all the suffer,all the exhaustion, all the thoughts.But then the moon,the full beautiful moon,looked at the girl with tears in the eyes wondering how to save her.As the girl stepped on the edge of the window,with tears in the eyes,she whispered sorry to everyone that have hurt and would hurt.Suddenly a hand touched her arm and held it so hard,like trying to stop her from this tragic end.Francheska turned around with red eyes to see the most beautiful lady she had seen.The mysterious lady was wearing a silver crown and a silver coat and her voice was like a bird song.

"What are you doing?"asked the lady,"Don't you want to live,explore the world."

"I do....I am just not strong enough to continue living." Francheska answered quietly.

"Everyone is strong, that's why they are humans and not animals. Let's sit and talk."

The lost girl and the lady talked the whole night about this close tragic end of young life.

In the morning Francheska realised this was only a dream,but the scars of last night still shone on her wrist.Later that day Francheska was ready,ready to let go of the brunette.Some will say that this wasn't something serious,maybe even the brunette,but for Francheska that was deep in her and important as the air she breathed,but today she was done.She was done with the late crying,with the toxicity,with the one side love , the attempts to keep this relationship going and most importantly with the friend who she once dreamt of calling lover.The girl still held some hopes that the brunette would wake up from the cold dream she was in and catch Francheska before she slipped away forever,but the brunette didn't even try to stop Francheska from leaving and that hurt.But life isn't fair.

Today these girls are just strangers who used to share an unique connection,which the gods destroyed.Today Francheska is a happier and healthier version of herself, and as for the brunette,they don't talk anymore.I don't think they will even greet each other on the street if they passed.But we will never know,because the universe made sure of it.We can just hope they find the love they search for.

#story prompt #instagram story #sad #gay #friend shaped #close sucide #girls #friendship #mental health #depression #inspired by #lesbian #pride #bi

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diyunho · 6 years

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The Joker x Reader - “STAY”

The Joker died a few days after turning 38; it was a gruesome end due to an unexpected ambush plotted by several gangs that didn’t want him around anymore. But he is not completely gone: once a year you can bring him back for just 24 hours. And soon this won’t be possible either because the unexpected illness is going to claim your life. There will be nobody left to bring him back, unless…

You hesitated showing him what you can do: you were afraid The Joker will freak out and chase you away. But he didn’t; J thought it was amazing. If anything, it made The King of Gotham even more interested in you.

“How did you do that, Princess?!” his eyes got big each time you brought small beings back to life: your puppy, his favorite goldfish, Frost’s cat or that cute parrot Panda had.

“I’m not sure,” you lifted your shoulders up. “I wish it and it happens.”

“That’s awesome!” J watched in awe, entirely submersed in his girlfriend’s special gift.”Can you bring back people?!” he would always ask, even if your answer didn’t change:

“I never tried because there is no person I want to bring back.”

************

But after The Joker was assassinated, you finally had somebody your heart desired to bring back. You were so miserable and depressed on your 31st birthday: the first one he wasn’t there for in the three years you’ve been together.

You only bought a cupcake with a small candle you blew out while crying, alone and desperate:

“I wish for J to come back,” you whispered to yourself, not knowing if it will work or not.

You opened your eyes in the morning and gasped: he was in bed on his side, asleep. Not completely there - mostly like a projection of his body. You could see through him and when you tried to touch his face your fingers touched nothing but air. The Joker didn’t seem aware of your presence, didn’t opened his eyes at all. His unearthly, temporary existence kept you glued in bed the whole day; you called his name repeatedly but he didn’t hear you. Maybe there was nothing there and you were hallucinating… Who knew?…

Yet…you could feel him beside you, he even smelled like his cologne. You started crying the next morning when J suddenly vanished, leaving nothing behind but a heartbroken Y/N that couldn’t understand why he wasn’t there for longer. You were able to summon him back for exactly 24 hours.

Afterwards you wished for him to come back on a daily basis without success. Why wasn’t it working?… Did you lose your ability?… Maybe it worked different on humans?…Did it take a lot of energy to bring back a person? Did you ran out and had to recharge?…Nobody to answer the questions since it was a mystery to even the owner of such a tremendous and scary power.

On your next birthday, you wished for him to be alive and this time it worked, exactly a year after his first arrival. Not a day sooner.

You woke up next morning and stopped breathing for a few seconds: The Joker was there again, resting, peacefully holding on to your waist. You caressed his green hair and he opened his eyes, tired.

J frowned when you started bawling, afraid to move.

“Why am I here?”

You didn’t answer but mustered the courage to yank him in your arms and hugged him really, really tight, not believing you could actually touch him.

“Did you bring me back?”

All you could do was kiss his cheek and hold him again, shaking, not being able to control your sobbing.

“Did you miss me?” he sadly smiled and that made you so upset.

“Yes…y-yes…I miss you every second, ” you sniffled and clung to him, frightened he will disappear without any warning.

The Joker felt exhausted; almost like after a very long journey that made him weak and incapable to respond to the real world anymore; he was dead, after all. His only connection to reality was the woman that loved him and her strong desire to have him close.

“I’m so worn out, Y/N…” he yawned, struggling to stay awake.

“Can you talk to me, please?” you begged and he nodded a yes, but his eyes closed and you couldn’t wake him up afterwards.

You guarded his restless dreams and tried not to blink too often, this way you could see him as much as possible. Thank God there wasn’t a soul around to hear your screams when he faded into nothingness after the 24 hours ended. It hurt so badly seeing him go away, unaware you were still there, wanting to hear his voice more than anything.

As the years went by, The Joker became more and more alert every time he was brought back. You would drive him around, showing him the city and places he liked. J never ate or drank and didn’t seem to age; he stayed 38 while you grew older.

Once, you asked him where he goes when he’s not with you. His eyes got so dark and there was so much pain in them it made your heart sink.

“I got exactly what I deserve, don’t worry,” he mumbled and forced himself to smile but you knew something was wrong. “Let’s just say I’m the happiest when I can be with my girl.”

You didn’t fight anymore; there wasn’t time for too much since he was alive only one day each year. You enjoyed his company and The Joker seemed to fully savor yours too.

When you turned 37 and he opened his eyes the next day, you were finally glowing for once; you didn’t look sad and he was surprised.

“Hi baby, ” you pecked his lips in a hurry, then jumped out of bed and helped him up. “Come on, I want you to meet somebody,” you dragged him in the bedroom next to yours, excited to show him the little miracle he had no idea about.

The 3 months old Emma was sleeping in the crib, unaware of her father’s presence.

“This is your daughter,” you got teary and carefully took her in your arms, then placed her in his. The Joker stood there, astonished, staring at his child. “I find out I was pregnant after your last year’s visit,” you explained, nervously biting on your lips. “Can you believe this happened?!”

J was able to utter just a few words:

“She’s so cute…”

He spent the whole day he was allowed to live with his baby and the new mother. And didn’t share the fact that he wished more than ever to stay with the two of them.

But you knew; it showed all over his face. How you regretted and cursed your strange powers that couldn’t keep him there more than a few hours…

**************

You had so many pictures around with J and always talked about him, this way Emma was familiar with her dad. Your daughter only saw him once a year, but she recognized J when he showed up at the penthouse. Shy at first, the little girl always warmed up to him after a few minutes, disappointed when her parent would vanish without a trace the next day. You tried to explain what’s going on, but she was too young to comprehend such complicated matters.

**************

When you turned 47 and The Joker opened his eyes after your birthday, the first thing he noticed was your bald head. You looked ill: dark circles under your eyes, skinny and pale.

“What’s wrong, Pumpkin?” he got on his elbow, worried and dizzy after waking up in the world of the living again. You just quietly pulled him towards you, wanting to talk to him before his 10 year old daughter would barge in to see her dad.

“I’m very sick…” and you paused, finding it hard to even open your mouth. “ I have brain cancer,” you gave him the news and he felt a huge weight on his chest. “It was discovered 10 months ago and…and…” and your voice got shaky,” I am not going to be here next year for my birthday to bring you back.”

The Joker never saw you cry like you did that day and for the first time ever he felt such a terrible ache washing over him; it made him wonder if he was still on the other side.

“Jesus, Princess,” he kissed you and you cuddled in his embrace, numb to anything else but his touch. “What about Emma?”

“I made arrangements,” you informed him after calming down a bit, “but I’m so concerned about her future. I think she inherited my ability,” you chuckled through tears, anxious at the revelation.

“Really?!” J whispered, not sure if he liked that or not, aware of what a burden it can be.

“U-hum, I witnessed her bring a butterfly back to life. Beautiful …and terrifying…” you almost choked and he understood the meaning of your statement.

“What are we going to do?” the question followed and there was no good answer to alleviate the insecurity.

“There is nothing we can do since we will both be gone…” and your sorrow was interrupted by Emma opening the door, thrilled to see The Joker is in her mom’s bedroom:

“Daddy ! You’re here!”

**************

“Hurry up, Y/N!” J keeps on encouraging you to move faster through the white mist.”Faster!” he leads you towards the place he knows about, hoping you will make it in time.

You have no clue what’s going on; you are so groggy and confused after finding yourself in this weird place with The Joker by your side, apparently taking you somewhere. Did you die in your sleep? Can’t even remember, everything is scrambled in your head.

“Where are we going?” you rub your eyes with your free hand, attempting to snap out of the trance.

“Sssttt, be quiet or they’ll hear you,” he signals and you distinguish faint cries, then howling and screams in the fog surrounding the bizarre realm. “There it is, come on!!!” J almost runs and you stumble behind him, blindly following his command.

You find yourself in front of two enormous gates, barely opened for one person to sneak in.

“Go!” J gives you a nudge towards the gap, letting go of your hand.

“Where are we going?” you yawn, puzzled and drained, squeezing on the other side of the portal, stopping to wait for him.

But he backs out when the enormous Dark Shadow that appeared out of nowhere slams the entrance shut, hissing at The Joker:

“Be gone! You know you can’t pass through The Gates of Afterlife!”

“Hey, let him in!” you immediately rush to open the gates, awoken by anxiety; they don’t even budge. The Guardian towers over his kingdom, gently pushing you away.

“You belong in here, he doesn’t. Move !”

You surely don’t understand what’s going on but you know one thing:

“Then let me out, I want to go back there!”

“Once you are inside, you can never go out. And the lost souls doomed to never find peace can’t come in.”

“I want to go to him, you can’t keep us apart ! Do you know how long we’ve been separated?! It’s not fair, let me out !” you plead, startled at the concept of being isolated from one another for eternity.

“You can never go out and he can never come in !” the menacing sentence echoes all around you before the creature fades away, done with his task of protecting the passage until the next arrivals.

“I don’t want to be in here!!!!!!!!!” you scream as loud as you can, the sounds bouncing in the stillness without anybody around to hear them. You walk along the gates, peaking outside through the heavy, tall bars making up the fence that continues to border the land through infinity. There is no end to it, no way to escape. You feel like a caged beast, trapped without any means to break free.

You see The Joker out there in that milky, dense mist and stop, squeezing the cold bars with your fingers.

“J !!! J!!!!” you shout and he cautiously approaches, taking the hand you extended through the bars. “What’s happening?” you wince when he kisses your knuckles, aware it’s forbidden and he will probably pay for it.

“You don’t deserve to be out here with the rest of us, Princess. You belong inside,” J keeps your fingers on his face, enjoying the connection.

“I don’t want to be inside without you, why did you trick me?!” you scold him, starting to cry.

“I’m The Trickster, remember? That’s what I do,” he tries to joke and can’t even smile at his own remark. “I have to go, but I will stay close, alright?”

“No, no! Where are you going?!” you try to hold on to him and he walks backwards, growling:

“I’m sorry I was mean to you so many times when we were alive…”

You push yourself against the fence, wanting to grab him but he is too far already.

“I forgive you!! Do you hear me?? I forgive you, come back!!!!!!! Please come back!!” you implore, frozen when he is swallowed by the fog outside. “Don’t leave…” you rest your head against the bars, sobbing. “Don’t leave…I forgive you…Stay with me…”

****************

“Why doesn’t he move?” The Guardian asks, intrigued. You keep on glaring outside, The Joker’s shape petrified in the same position for a long time. You can’t tell for how many days, weeks or months since there is no way to tell; time has no meaning here.

“It hurts more if you don’t move,” the Dark Shadow continues and you satisfy its curiosity:

“He wants to see me, that’s why he’s not moving. He wants to look at me…” you wipe your eyes, not letting The Joker out of your sight either.

“Why don’t you go and enjoy you afterlife? You’ve been here for a while.”

“I just want to look at him, I don’t care about anything else,” you sigh, discretely waving at J and he waves back.

“I’ll never understand humans,” The Guardian huffs. “There is nothing outside but demons, regrets and torment. If you don’t move, you’re easy pray for them to torture.”

“He’s used to that,” you turn your attention towards the creature. “He was a tortured soul way before he died, pain won’t bother him now. The demons in his mind accustomed him to agony when he was alive; he simply doesn’t care anymore.”

“Mmmm…” is the only reaction you get and The Guardian decides to leave you alone since it can’t convince you to abandon your useless mission.

The sudden, intense light illuminating the darkness and the mist beyond the gates makes you squint your eyes, uncomfortable.

“What is this?” you shield your face from the burning glow and the outworldy companion snarls, annoyed.

“That’s a very strong one, stronger than yours!”

“What?” you yell over the ominous ruckus that’s growing with each second, thunder and lightning increasing intensity until you can barely see and hear.

“It’s your daughter!” The Dark Shadow’s threatening demeanor scares you for once. “She wished for you and him to be alive again, she’s finally strong enough to do it ! And she’s already more powerful than you were! This can’t happen, I won’t let you leave!”

You brace for the worst, clearly no match for the Guardian when it all goes silent, just a strong wind swiping the hallowed ground. You and J are gone and The Underworld’s custodian shrieks, wanting vengeance for this transgression:

“I hate humans!”

******************

You stretch a bit and open your eyes, your head resting on The Joker’s shoulder. He is still dreaming and you kiss his skin, slowly moving your eyes around, recognizing your bed inside the master bedroom at the penthouse. Your gaze stops upon the recliner where a teenager Emma sleeps, barely turned 16 last night. You see a small birthday cake on the coffee table next to her, one candle adorning the sweet treat.

Your daughter wished for her parents to come back on her birthday again and it finally happened; so many failed attempts over the years and she almost lost faith.

J groans in his sleep and you are quick to caress his arm, whispering under your breath:

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker #the joker imagine #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #jared leto #the suicide squad #mistah j #mister j #mr. j #puddin #joker #joker x reader #joker fanfiction

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bts-is-my-life-as-always · 7 years

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Bts gif reaction to you taking a bullet for them and almost dying.

Request:Would it be okay to ask for each member's reaction to you literally taking a bullet for them and you almost die? Sorry for the angsty request. Behind the reaction: you are publicly dating one of the bts members. Credits to gif owners Here’s another request for anon who asked this, hope you like it. Rapmon: Namjoon and you have been dating for almost 2 years and it’s only been 2 months since you’ve gone public, many fans loved you two because of the affection and the love that he had for you. But as much as fans loved you some hated you and rapmon, some saying he betrayed army and he shouldn’t be a part of bts because he is putting a burden on them, and Namjoon being sweet he didn’t really mind all the death threats that came towards him, surprising nearly little to None came your way, this surprised you but you just brushed it off. It was at a fan meeting, he was happily meeting fans when he saw you from a distance, fans went crazy loving your every bit, you stood beside rapmon and fans wanted to take pictures with you, when bts stood up to make greetings towards the fans, you saw a strange, way too covered up man or women you couldn’t tell, but they were walking towards bts, it seemed like you were the only one that noticed, you brushed it off until they kept getting closer, one minute there at the back the next there basically one row away from the front, still no one really noticed, you didn’t want to ruin the lively mood or anything, so you kept quiet just looking at him or her. Just when you looked at them about 14 times they took a gun out, seemed like still no one noticed but you noticed this time you also noticed where it was aimed at, your boyfriend, your love, you didn’t know what to do, so you just jumped in front of him, you felt nothing, maybe it was a toy gun, that was until you looked down and saw blood, everywhere all over your dress, all over the promise necklace that Namjoon got you, you fell, into rapmonsters arms, crying because now the pain was unbearable, he looked at you with wide eyes, almost scared that anything he does will just hurt you more, the happy cheers now turning into terrified screams, the security guards taking the man that shot the gun. The next thing you see was namjoons worried eyes, it sounded like he almost breathed out his heart, he dropped his head beside you. “Oh thank god, your okay, your fine, you’ll be okay, your now okay” “Namjoon... yeah I’m okay, calm down” “I thought I almost lost you, I thought that I almost lost you for good” Months later you found out that the man that almost killed you was a fan of yours and hated the fact that rapmon took you away from him. Hmmm fans are actually crazy.

Jin: You and him have been dating for about 6 months and it’s been 2 months since you’ve gone public, everything seemed so perfect nearly none of the fans hated either of you, they all loved both your dorky personalities. So when at a concert backstage a staff member that you did not recognise came and decided to talk to you it didn’t really make you feel any way, you just thought it was another polite and nice big hit employee that loved all of bts and you, but you did take note of the weird things that he was doing, the weird ways that he would fidget when jin kissed your cheeks or when, you went to massage jin’s shoulders because of how anxious he was for the concert, this didn’t really bug you, you brushed it off as maybe he’s anxious for bts too, or maybe he was really desperate for the toilet. But when he looked way too angry to be a staff member, and started walking towards bts while they were getting ready to go on stage, you automatically ended up walking towards them too, subconsciously looking back every time, and holding onto jins hands. Not wanting him to worry before a big stage, you just walked beside him and told him good luck, you stayed put by the wall that separated the stage and the back, something inside you told you to stay there, you felt horrible, like something horrible was going to happen, you thought that until you saw it, he was taking out a gun, at this moment, all you could think about was where it was aimed at, Jin, pointing right at jin, while he was at the back of the group, getting into position. You didn’t think twice about jumping in front of the bullet, it didn’t take any longer for you to black out, while you were cold on the floor, guards tackled the man down, Jin turned his head, so did the rest of bts and many of the fans, Jin went pale, he went numb he saw your lifeless body on the floor, faced down. “Y/N” He ran towards you, held you on his lap You woke up after a 10 hour long surgery to repair your damaged organs and your continued failing heart. When you opened your eyes, Jin rested his head on your arms and holding your hand so tight that you had to wake him up, so you wouldn’t loose all circulation to your hands. “Hey, Jin? Baby wake up.” “OH MY LORD, YOUR AWAKE, I’ve been so worried you have no idea, I’m sorry, im so..” You stopped him by placing a hand on top of his. “I’m soo sorry..” “You didn’t do anything” After months of recovery you found out that he was deathly obsessed with you, and he had plans of killing jin and kidnapping you and keeping you to himself.

Suga: You and suga had been dating for 5 years and you had only been public for about a week, fans went crazy, it was 50/50 some loved you guys some hated you guys, but for the most part, you felt like they were fine with the two of you dating. That was until that day, you were on a date with suga at the cafe, the cafe that the two of you met 5 years ago, you talked and talked and talked for about 2 hours, since 2 hours you noticed a girl weirdly looking over to your table constantly, you thought that maybe, Just maybe she just recognised suga and was a huge fan of him, but you still decided to keep an eye, she kept catching the corner of your eyes. “Hey baby, I’m gonna go use the bathroom, wait here okay?” “Yeah, hurry back I’ll miss you” As he smiled and walked to the toilets, when he walked to the toilets, the girl on the other table got up, and walked towards the toilet, something telling you to follow her, she went into one of the female stalls, and you heard something like a gun being loaded, you didn’t want to jump to conclusions so you walked out of your stall and washed your hands, being really cautious of the girl that walked out behind you, she left the bathroom without a second glance at you, funnily enough she was right outside the guys bathroom, with a loaded gun it was in sight everyone could see it if they walked out the bathroom, you panicked, and started texting suga but he wasn’t answering, so you kept peering outside of the women’s bathroom, you slowly started to walk out and made sure to walk out slowly, just then you heard suga bumping into someone and saying sorry and walking out, you were inches away from the girl, and suga was walking straight out, she held her gun out and aimed to shoot, you ran as fast as humanly possible, towards him, jumping onto suga, luckily it was far enough to not penetrate through you and stay inside your body, but the bad thing was the bullet was still in you, you fell into his arms, crying and the body guards that were waiting outside of the cafe came inside and tackled her and they helped you into an ambulance, as soon as you got into the hospital, your blood pressure was dropping way too fast and you passed out. After hours of surgery trying to get the bullet out of your body before it travelled to the important organs and possibly harm you more than it already had. You woke up, moving your hands. “Hey, Y/N your awake? Thank god, I thought you died, you have no idea how much that scared me” You couldn’t speak, it hurt, you just groaned and cried out. “Baby it’s okay, don’t try to talk it’s fine, stay still, I’m just glade your awake and okay” After a few hours detectives came to question you, you told them all that you knew, and they told you that she was in fact suga ‘fan’ and she was the type of fan that says ‘if I can’t have you, then no one can’

J-hope: J-hope was such a sweet pumpkin, that when You started dating, he decided to go public instantly because he loved you, and he wanted to show the world how beautiful you were on the inside and out, and he wanted to show off his girlfriend to everyone. And the world either loved the two of you, or frankly didn’t really care. You knew that he was usually very busy, so when he wasn’t, you decided to usually go shopping, he loved it and so did you. When you were shopping in one of the department stores that you’ve been to about a million times, you met some armys that wanted to get their albums signed by hoseok, while you were waiting for him, you decided to look around, you went up to the necklaces and saw a women maybe in her mid 30’s standing there staring intensely at you, you looked up and met eyes with her, you felt weird so you smiled and looked away, still trying to be polite, Just then hoseok came up to you and kissed the back of your head and whispered. “Thanks for waiting for me without complaining” “Now why would I complain, if I was a fan I would love to get my albums signed by you” “You are my fan, and you do have albums signed by me” “You know what I mean, you pumpkin” You smiled and starting looking at the clothes on he other side of the store, just when you forgot about the women she was staring at you again, this time staring at you and hoseoks hand linked together, she looked extremely out of it, and she looked like she was on some type of medication, but you only grew more uncomfortable looking at her, so you decided to look away and just mind your own business, your boyfriend turned around and looked at the shoes o the other side while you kept looking at the clothes, keeping an eye on her. Just when you thought she was leaving, she took out a gun and aimed it towards hoseok, you didn’t really have time to react, only that you had to move an inch towards the left to block it. You blacked out, the only thing you can do is hear, and you heard people screaming and someone screaming your name. Many hours later your surgery, you opened your eyes to a very very very worried hoseok. “OMG OMG OMG, your awake, thank god, your awake” You slightly smiled at him. After hours of being awake, you found out that the bullet barely missed your heart, in fact it slid past your heart, so you needed more surgery to fix that, but for now you were, alive and fine.

Jimin: Jimin loves you, with everything he has, all his heart, and he loved to show you it, so even before going public, fans caught on, and fans actually loved you both, most armys loved you, and you were slowly growing your own fandom, jimin had a day off, so you guys decided to start a live stream on your Instagram together, you were streaming for about 4 hours until you became increasingly hungry, so you decided to travel with the live stream still running, you guys went to a small restaurant that you always went to, the owners knew you and they were fine with you live streaming in there, soon fans found where you and jimin were and jimin decided for your and his safety to call his personal body guards to just wait outside and keep any fans that weren’t going to eat outside. So it wasn’t suspicious when a group of men walked in and started to order a bunch of food, you and jimin sat there all lovey dovey, and held hands together while feeding each other and live streaming the food, you took turns feeding each other and the fans went crazy in the comments loving the quirkiness. About another 20 minuet passes and you look around and see the group of men looking right at you and your boyfriend, you brushed it off as maybe their looking at you because your filming yourselves and that’s not that normal. But you kept seeing from the corner of your eyes this one man who kept staring, your boyfriend was having such a fun time, that he didn’t realise, you didn’t want to ruin the mood and the atmosphere so you just looked past it. That was until he seemed to be taking something out, and his friends now have stopped moving all together and they were staring too. You saw a gun from the corner of your eyes, not wanting anyone to worry, you kept smiling, until you saw him take aim, it didn’t look like it was aimed at you, but at your boyfriend, you instantly became stone faced and looked at your boyfriend, trying to get him cover but it was too late, the gun was already shot and the only way to save him, was for you to get shot instead. You crossed in front of the bullet just before it hit him, it penetrated into your rib cage and you were on top of jimin lifeless. Jimin instantly went from smiling and having the best time, to being scared shitless. Honestly it would be a lie if jimin remembered the events that followed, all he knew was you were shot, and he didn’t know what to do. You woke up hours later, luckily the bullet didn’t travel too far and it fractured your ribs and that was it, all you needed was to rest up a bit and take caution, the police came to interview you and see what happened, you told him everything that you could remember, and jimin told him everything that he could remember, he excused himself out of the room, and when he returned you could see that he was crying. “Baby, why are you crying?” “I wasn’t able to protect you, I’m the one that’s meant to protect you and I couldn’t” “Stop, what the hell jimin, stop blaming yourself, I can’t see you break down like that” “I’m sorry” “Look at me, I want a hug, a nice long hug, can you do that?” He smiled and climbed under the covers and hugged you.

Taehyung: You and v dated for about a year before going public, he loved you and you loved him, taehyung loved his hometown and wanted you to visit it with him, say hello to his parents and also go on vacation, you were both extremely stressed from your work and he wanted you to relax, you were on the train because let’s be honest driving down to daegu would take forever and so taking the train was the next best option, taehyungs manager still came with the two of you because taehyung was worried that you would get lost. So when you arrived in daegu, you guys went to greet his parents and then you checked into the hotel and went to the dinner that was being held specially for vip guests and so you guys were sitting and eating noodles and pizza, a weird combination but you guys were always so dorky that it didn’t surprise you that he picked pizza and you picked noodles, while you were eating, taehyung pointed out the window and to the stars that were in the sky, it looked so beautiful that you couldn’t take your eyes off, you couldn’t until you saw a weird man standing outside and staring at you and v, mostly taehyung, but v didn’t see it, he didn’t really care because he was so used to people staring and looking at him. But your guts told you otherwise, you looked out the window again and this time the man moved inside the hall, and he sat down at a table, he didn’t order anything which rang alarm bells in your head. “Hey tae lets go back to our room, I’m tired” “Really? You don’t want to eat more, that’s surprising are you ill or something?” “No I’m just really tired” You didn’t want to tell him the man was creeping you out. As you two got up so did he, and he took something out of his black coat, and pointed it at tae, it took you a few seconds to realise what it was, before taehyung could see what it was you were on the ground, looking lifeless, you were hiccuping to get blood out of your throat and try to talk. “No don’t do it, don’t talk, stay still, you’ll be fine” “I’m.. really... cold tae....im... really..... tired” “No no no, don’t, don’t say anything just keep your eyes on me” You couldn’t anymore, taehyung was now crying his eyes out, not caring what happens to the man that shot you, your eyes shut and he was practically screaming for someone to help. You woke up a whole day later, you felt really heavy and in so much pain. “Hey, your okay” It was tae but his voice sounded deeper and more raspier than usual. “Tae? Where am I?” “Your okay, your at the hospital, stay still don’t try to move too much, it’ll hurt.” “Thank you tae, thanks” You fell back asleep and once you had enough energy to fully wake up, you found out that the man was following you and tae from Seoul and he was planning on shooting tae when you guys were leaving your apartments, his reasoning was that, he should’ve been in tae’s place and not tae that you should be in love with the man and not v. (Jealousy can be poisonous)

Jungkook: You and jungkook had been dating for 3 years and it was 2 years since you went public, everyone loved the both of you, you hardly saw any hate comments, in fact every comment would either say, please come on here more with Y/N or can you go on a show with Y/N, we miss her, and many love from many army’s. So jungkook wanting to show you off some more, he would contact somewhere like we got married or anywhere that could feature Just the two of you. Wgm decided to feature the two of you on a special episode, of Just the two of you, the special thing was that it was going on live and nothing was going to be edited before being released, which could be the reason for what happened after. You guys were heading towards an amusement park for a fun day, you line up with jungkook to go on the Koreas tallest ride, as always it was packed and you forgot to get the vip tickets to skip the line, instead you waited in the line With cameras all around the two of you, and you were looking around while jungkook decided to tie your hair up for you, you were smiling to yourself because of how sweet he was, until you saw a man, looking very out of place, slightly spazzing out, he was about 6 people behind you and kookie. “I’m done, this line is so long” “Oppa be patient, well get there soon, and then we can get a vip ticket so we can skip these lines.” “Ugh fine I’m only being patient because you’re here” You waited another 10 mins you were almost at the front, but it was just your luck that the ride was already full right in front of you and jungkook, it seemed like you were hearing things, you turned around to see what that metal rattling together was, when you turned around you saw a pistol in the men’s hand, you were internally freaking out, but you didn’t want to freak out if the gun wasn’t real, that issue was solved really fast when you saw him put in bullets into the pistol, he loaded the gun up and aimed it straight past you and towards jungkook, jungkook even getting a paper cut killed you and hurt you, so seeing a gun being aimed at him made you freak out more than if the gun was aimed at you, before you could even say anything he pressed the trigger and the gun shot out, your body automatically stood in front of jungkook, the bullet felt like nothing for 2 seconds until you were in so much pain that you couldn’t even breath, you were breathing heavy and jungkook looked about ready to beat the man half to death, that was until you used your last strength to grab his hands and pull him into you, you blacked out, jungkook being super worried thought you died. (Let’s be real if I made you die then he would probably kill the guy and me...JKJK don’t eat me) You woke up hours later, a jungkook that was still crying, with the rest of bts who looked extremely worried too. “Oh my god, your awake, your awake, your awake and alive, im gonna murder that guy” You grabbed his arms again “Babe can you stay here with me, I’m scared, I don’t want you to go” “Okay, I won’t go anywhere, I’ll be right here” You found out later that the man had escaped the mental asylum, he was mentally ill and tried to kill anyone that got in his way, of getting to you and well basically ‘loving you’.

So this took me forever to write not gonna lie, towards the end it got kinda hard to write because I’m tired. But still hope you enjoyed this, and request away Anyways bye

#bts #bts rapmon #bts suga #bts jhope #bts v #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts jin #bts texts #bts imagine #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts gif reactions

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thestoryofme13 · 6 years

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The Spiral

Prequel to Saving Me: The Spiral

Chapter 3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Warning: thinking of death, body image, anxiety, worthlessness, swearing, self-harm (It is more akin to bad coping mechanisms in this chapter because it involves really cold water)

A/N: This is my attempt at an AU, but please look out for the warnings before each chapter, this is going to be triggering and I am going to do my best to tag all of them but I will need your help to make sure I don’t miss anything. I want you as readers to be safe. This was inspired by @ilovemygaydad and their fic Friends in Dark Places, which I highly recommend, you can see the all the chapter links and my thoughts of the story as a whole here.

This chapter and the few (dunno ask Virgil) will be the backstory to give you all some background. It was going to be all one chapter but I hadn’t hit the plot point I wanted and the word count was already over 2,000.

(Flashback) Virgil was sitting on his bed looking at the lonely sticky note on his closet door, “Did he actually need reasons to live? Did he want to die?” The answer was yes, he needed reasons to live, his life had all too quickly spiraled, the guy he had fallen for and coincidentally his best friend was dating someone else and also not really talking to Virgil at the moment. Then as an added bonus to his personal life being a mess was that school was DIFFICULT! In grade school, he still had to study yes, but not near as much and usually, his grades would reflect the time he put in, but high school just had to be different.

Guess now he had to think about the second question, “Did he want to die?” That question was tough, it’s not that he really wanted to die, it was more complicated than that. He just wanted to stop feeling, while he was great at pretending to be numb, he was actually falling to pieces. The last time he actually felt a positive emotion had to be a couple months ago. Most of his feelings at this point were depression, anger, and hurt. Virgil felt like he was not in control, and he hated it.

The thing about living with anxiety, at least if you’re Virgil, not feeling in control of your life or the situation, is terrifying. The whole situation of not being entirely sure what was happening or exactly what his relationship with Logan was from one day to the next caused a lot of anxious feelings to bubble up. Not being in control produced many variables to the point where Virgil could not accurately predict what the outcomes would be, making every day a new living nightmare.

Predicting outcomes of things was not quite the correct way to word it, Virgil had observed so many people over years of being a wallflower that he figured there are only so many different reactions a person can have in certain situations. For the most part, social interaction could go one of two ways, either it could have a negative or positive reaction and based on the person and topic Virgil was very good at predicting which reaction he would elicit from someone. The problem now was that the person he was closest to and was pretty much capable of predicting their every reaction was no longer a factor in his life, leading to every day and every interaction being different.

Logan had been his first real friend, someone that made Virgil feel wanted like he wasn’t a burden. Once Logan started canceling plans it was the reminder that Virgil needed, to remember that he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth anything, he was utterly useless. If the person Virgil had called his best friend, had deemed that Virgil wasn’t even worth a text to check in on him or an apology for canceling so many plans, then how could he feel worthy of anything.

Virgil hadn’t noticed he was crying until he saw the wet spots on his jeans, he was just so exhausted. Logan had a point, feelings were awful and illogical, these feelings had consumed Virgil for the past couple of months: worthlessness, sadness, hopelessness, and anger. Feeling all of these emotions had generally made Virgil exhausted, he wanted so much to be numb. If he shut Logan out of his life maybe the loneliness and sense of betrayal would subside, Virgil scoffed at that idea, like it was up to him to shut out Logan or that the nerd would notice at this point. If feelings were always this bad and persisted for this long, he wasn’t going to make it.

Virgil sighed and shoved off his bed, he needed to feel something, anything that was different from this wonderful downward spiral that was his life. It was nearly 10 o’clock, he had finished all his homework for tomorrow, and until Friday but no one had to know that. Once an assignment was assigned a due date Virgil’s anxiety took over and forced him to finish it, didn’t matter if the due date was tomorrow or three months. The minute something was assigned, the panic set in, “What if he were to forget about it later? What if the teacher decides it’s due earlier? Or what if something happens and he won’t have a lot of time closer to the deadline?” These thoughts and many of similar sentiment is what fueled his overachieving, he was also a firm believer in doing it perfect the first time; rather than needing to spend less time to do it once and then have to fix it later. It’s not that he was smart, it was more that his anxiety wouldn’t let him relax. He had to work his ass off for everything he ever did, which was extremely satisfying, at least before high school that is.

Deciding it was probably a good idea to at least try to get ready for bed, even though he knew his mind would race and that dream would come again. He shuddered at the thought of repeating that singular dream. He needed to shower, god how he hated showering! For one thing, it took too much time, he could be studying, doing homework, or literally anything else.

The second reason was that when he was younger he wouldn’t shower sometimes for days, and finally, his mother brought it up and asked, “Do you refuse to shower because you have body image issues?” Virgil didn’t want his mother to worry. So, obviously, he did what any good son would and replied with, “No, of course not. I just hate that it takes so much time out of my day.” His mother just laughed, how she got so lucky with a child that was school centered instead of relationship crazy his mother will never know, but she thanked whoever was responsible for that blessing. Virgil remembered that day, after replying to his mother he didn’t want her to worry so he forced himself to take a shower being very careful to avoid the mirrors, and if he cried in the shower it was quiet and comforting because no one would know.

His body image issues, hadn’t improved or worsened since then but he still hated showers, now he took them every day because he felt obligated to. Who this obligation was to, he’ll never know, maybe it was to make sure his mother didn’t worry, she had enough to think about without him making it worse. The baggy clothes that Virgil forced his mother to buy were for two reasons mostly for comfort because clothing clinging to his caused him to panic, and the second reason is because with the baggy clothes he could hide the everything he hated about his body. It’s not like he was overweight, but his stomach was anything but flat, his thighs had acne and stretch marks that made him never want to wear shorts, but he guessed everything else wasn’t too bad. These insecurities were things that he was hyper-aware of and felt like everyone he met would notice them first.

He grabbed a clean pair of boxer shorts and a loose shirt, and continued to his bathroom, in the new house he had a bathroom connected to his room, which he loved. The shower could be a little fickle, but he was too tired to remember, so he undressed and jumped in the shower. Once in the shower he turned on the water, he knew most people did it the other way, but he liked this way no real reason why just weird.

The water would usually come on hot immediately so there was no shock, but god forbid this universe to help him, nope that would be too easy. Today the water just had to come out freezing, Virgil couldn’t help but notice that at least the cold water made him feel something. It wasn’t a good feeling in the slightest, but damn it was nice to feel something. He knew he should have turned the water up, but he couldn’t. He was shaking and shivering, but this cold made it impossible to think about the shit going on his life. He was losing his mind if he thought freezing water was the answer to all the problems, but he couldn’t help but laugh at this situation. There he was in the shower shivering and shaking, to the point of not being able to move and laughing. If anyone were to see him surely, they would think something was wrong and that he needed help, but the thing is, he was happy. The pain from the freezing water made all his problems melt away, some part of him knew this was not a healthy coping technique but he didn’t care. Virgil had finally figured out something that made him forget how crappy his life was, even if it was painful! The freezing water felt like needles on every inch of his skin, but all he could do was laugh because how messed up did he have to be to use a different form of pain to avoid dealing with his emotional pain. Maybe this escape would encourage him to take more showers.

A/N: If you have any feedback, questions or want to be added to the taglist let me know! Also if you need to be taken off the taglist because of triggers please let me know, I want you all to be safe!!

Tag list: @fandomsandanythingelse @justanotherpurplebutterfly (I think you requested this) @nyxwordsmith @michealawithana @fanfictionsideaccount @bubblycricket @moose-1967

#myfics #au #sanders sides #prequel #analogical #tw swearing #tw body image #tw anxeity #tw worthlessness #tw depression #tw thinking of death #tw self harm #The Spiral

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keagskins · 7 years

Text

In Which Morgan Proposes

(( Ft. Male! Morgan and Mika. Wrote ages ago aroud 1am and never edited ))

Everything had to go smoothly-

It just had to. There was no way around it. He’d taken a lot of time and put a lot of thought into this whole fiasco and he’d be damned if it went haywire.

Preparations had been taken. The night prior, a mass email had been sent out saying that there was a mandatory meeting in the Lobby at precisely 10:05 AM. What was so unusual about this email, was that there was no humor. No pranks or hidden files or messages left. It was just an email, written with formal grammar and proper punctuation, and simply signed as “Morgan Yu.” And that alone was unusual for a number of reasons. Reasons like the simple fact that Morgan never signed his last name in emails- he thought it redundant because it very clearly said “Sent by: Morgan Yu” at the top of every one of his emails, like it or not. He also never signed his whole first name, usually it was left as “M.” He said it made him seem mysterious, if you ignored the fact that his name was displayed at the top of every single email.

The oddity of the email did its job and caught everyone’s attention. As planned, everyone was left standing around in the lobby, all cluttered as close to the frontal window as they could get. Gossip floated over their heads- what was going on? Was Morgan okay? Was this even Morgan? Maybe it was an elaborate prank? But soon enough their murmurs hushed as Alex stepped off of the elevator, looking just as bewildered as the rest of the staff. A couple tried to ask him- see if he knew what his sibling was up to, but they were only met with the same answer everyone else had. They didn’t know. No one knew, and Morgan wasn’t here yet.

And then he appeared. Quietly he jogged down the stairs that lead from the first floor of the lobby to his office- very acutely aware of the eyes locked on his form. “Morgan?” “Mr. Yu?” “Dr. Yu?” “What the hell, Morgan.” The crowd of staff started- a cacophony of voices. Morgan simply pursed his lips, and pulled his TranScribe from his pocket. He checked the time, then looked to the crowd. “You’ll know in two minutes.” And that was all the insight he gave. His sibling tried- persistently- to get the information out of him. But Morgan brushed him off.

Something was defiantly off with him.

He perched himself near the railing that kept people from getting too close to the glass, and impulsively checked the time several more times. He seemed simultaneously more anxious and less jittery than usual- which was weird.

And then it happened. At exactly 10:05 AM, The elevator descended into view once again. This time with only one passenger- who looked exponentially more confused than the rest of the staff. She stepped off of the elevator- eyebrows furrowed and lips drawn tight. She tried to ask- people simply raised their eyebrows; “Didn’t you get Morgan’s email?” Which, for the record, only served to confuse her more. She hadn’t gotten any email, and certainly not one from Morgan.

She spotted him- feet instantly deciding to lead her over. “Morgan? Morgan what’s going on?” He picked himself up- having been supporting his weight with the aid of the railing and his right arm- and shrugs. “Beats me.” “Morgan don’t do that. I’ve heard you sent out an email?” He purses his lips, giving a slight nod. “Oh. That. Yeah i know what that is-” Everyone’s eyes were on him. It was 10:08 AM and he still hadn’t done whatever it was he was going to do.

Behind him, visible splashes of the Milky Way were coming into view. The stars seemed more vibrant- glowing, radiating with the same energy that flowed between the buzzing scientists and engineers that lived aboard the station. There was the briefest pause- the loudest beat of silence- as Morgan reached into his pocket once more. This time, his hand exited the pocket with a small, glittering ring in his fingers.

And suddenly it was quiet for a whole different reason- jaws fell open and people looked between each other. Mikhalia looked somewhere between horrified and shocked-

And Morgan Yu, a god among men, fell to one knee.

Mikhalia’s hands flew to her mouth- eyes wide and suddenly wet and glistening in the warm light of Talos’ red and gold interior and the cold light of the stars behind her.

She says yes, sobbing as she takes the ring gingerly- for there wasn’t really a way to wear it with her gloves on.

Well, That what he wants to happen anyways.

“Morgan,” She tries again, more firm as she stares at him.

Morgan Yu feels like he’s going to pass out. Sweat drips down his temple and his fingers are numb. Oh god-- Okay, Okay, this is fine, he just needs to do what he did in his day dream- it was going to be fine.

Except it’s not, because the moment he lifts his arm from the railing, he stumbles- wheezing as he’s suddenly too lightheaded to even hold himself up. Mika catches him- “Morgan- are you alright?” He wheezes pitifully- mouth too dry and throat too tight. Oh god-- he’s an idiot-- he should have known he’d be too anxious to pull this off in front of three thousand people. He nods- movements too jerky to ever be played off as cool. He holds onto her forearms and closes his eyes- He’s so very aware of the eyes on him-- of Alex moving closer, worried.

When he opens his eyes, he sees Mika. Her brows are furrowed- teeth just barely visible past her teeth. He sees the genuine concern in her dark chocolate eyes- the creases in her face. He sees the way parts of her hair curl more than others- the way one particular, thin curl, wraps around her earlobe and just barely touches her cheek. He wanted this- and goddamn it he’s going to go through with it if it kills him.

With new found confidence- He raises to his full, but not very intimidating height- and pulls back his shoulders. He hopes he looks cool- but he knows that’s not happening. He’s sure he’s pale as a sheet and sweaty because he can feel strands of hair getting stuck to his forehead. “Mikhalia,” He mumbles, voice not nearly as confident as he wants it to be but. But it’s fine. Really it is because he feels his heart throb- overflowing with pure love and admiration for the woman standing beside him- He sees the stars in her eyes- quite literally- and knows that if he wants this to go even slightly like his dream did, he needs to act now. While the stars are at his back and the center of his universe is in his reach-

He squeezes her arms- a crooked smile stretching on his lips as he shakes his head- a shaken chuckle leaving him. He doesn’t need to look cool for her. She loves his anxiousness the same way she loves the rest of him.

He pulls back, hands sliding down her forearms and pausing to squeeze her hands before he lets go and his hand slips into his pocket. The ring is revealed, and held close to his chest. He looks at it, sees the diamond he’d picked- the design he’d created. This was the ring he’d made for the love of his life- and it was beautiful. He really wants to see it on her hand. Somewhere, he’s aware that she’s frozen. Everyone is. But he’s not looking at them.

Sluggishly, he forces his tightly-wound muscles to flex and relax in a way that makes him sink to one knee.

This was where he first met Mikhalia. And this is where he wants her to become his fiance. He runs his fingers over the ring, faintly feeling the edges of the stone through his thick gloves. His tongue drags over his lips and he prays to whatever god that’s listening that his voice sounds more confident this time around.

Looking up from the ring, he lands on Mika. She has her hands clasped over her mouth, just like in his fantasy, and her eyes shimmer with tears that haven’t yet fallen. His crooked, slightly nervous smile, slides back onto his face and he shyly offers the ring. “Mikhalia.. I know people say a lot of stuff about me. That i sleep around and can’t take anything seriously- that i’m a joke. And i can’t say it’s not true. It is. But you make me think i’m okay- and i’d give you the world. I want.. I want you to stay with me. For as long as you’ll tolerate me.” Somewhere, he knows that that isn’t the speech he had prepared. It’s.. Not the best either. You aren’t supposed to beat yourself up when you’re proposing. But.. She laughed. He catches sight of a tear slipping past her lashes- and it’s like watching the first snow fall or seeing a falling star. His Star.. “Mikhalia Ilyushin, Will you marry me?”

She nods- it’s frantic and she’s laughing. Her face is red- the blush having started at the tip of her nose and ears then spread outwards to her cheeks. She sniffs- offering her hand. She can’t put the ring on now, but Morgan makes a big deal out of gently setting it in her palm. She closes her fist and holds it to her heart- a soft, breathless “Yes” falling from her lips.

Morgan grins. His muscles snap like a stretched spring- and he’s back to his feet in nanoseconds- hands reaching for her- But she slaps them away with her free hand and suddenly there's an anger in her eyes that makes his grin stretch- “You almost fainted-- you just had to do it in front of everyone?” He laughs- distinctly aware that he’s crying more than she is- and his hands come to rest on her. One palm falling over her neck, fingers digging into the hairs at the nape of her neck, as the other squeezes her bicep and draws her close. Their noses bump- and he’s laughing whilst sobbing. The stress that had been building since three days ago spilling out of him in the form of tears and broken laughs.

It’s not three minutes later when he feels a hard slap on his shoulder- he spins to see Alex, who’s crying and angry “You didn’t even tell me you were going to propose and then you do it like this?”

#my writing #morgan yu #mikhalia ilyushin #prey #prey 2017 #prey game #writing #im gay #i might post it later on a03

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bluewomanposts · 5 years

Text

8 Toxic Habits that Exploit Your Happiness Day by Day

Some behaviors that we are unwittingly turning into a habit of actually make our lives even more difficult. So what is it that prevents us from being happy and how can we get rid of them? In fact, the answer is very simple; you can put an end to this by learning the habits that sabotage your own happiness. We have listed 8 toxic habits that exploit your happiness day by day and ways to deal with them.

1. Do not combat negative emotions

It is said that we should not show negative emotions. From childhood we hear ”crying” or “sadness“. We gradually learn how to hide our negative feelings, but this behavior can lead to bad experiences of life. According to experts, struggling with negative emotions makes us numb against positive emotions. We are so immersed in negative feelings that we cannot show positive emotions enough. In addition, not expressing negative emotions can cause a lot of health problems by halk getting in halk in public terms. Therefore, instead of ignoring them, express these feelings. But not regretfully or crying. By doing things that make you happy. So turn your negative emotions into positive. Dancing can be very helpful.

2. Allow you to make a mistake

Many people are afraid of making mistakes and failing. However, sometimes it cannot be learned correctly without making mistakes. Even some life-changing inventions were the result of mistakes made. So instead of being afraid of failure, allow yourself to make mistakes. Make mistakes not change your mode, change your perspective against failure. To make your new path easier, remember Thomas Edison's words; Im I didn't fail. I just found 10 thousand different things that don't work ”

3. Do not choose to be a victim

Making other people or situations the cause of your problems is a quick way to unhappiness. It's easy to blame traffic congestion when you're late for work or the cost of living when your spending increases. However, you will feel more comfortable when you take responsibility instead of playing the victim. Try to get up early instead of an excuse. When you try to look at everything that happens in your life from this perspective, you will start to see opportunities instead of obstacles.

4. Do not waste your time and energy

Try to get rid of the negative thoughts that keep your mind busy during the day. A word or act made by someone should not engage your mind. Because it means wasting your time and energy. On the other hand, these things that you think continuously may cause you to feel unhappy and decrease your self-confidence. It may even cause mild depression. So stop thinking about things that bother you and annoy you. When you have these thoughts in mind, try to focus on something different.

5. Admit that you do not know what others think

Many thoughts go through your mind during the day. When you spend time with your friends or meet someone new, you might think of things like orum I look so stupid in your eyes ”or“ They probably think I'm too boring ”. This is what happens to almost all of us. But accept that you cannot read others' thoughts. You don't know what they think. Instead of upset yourself with this kind of thought, believe that people think what's best for you. This perspective will increase your self-confidence and help you communicate more comfortably.

6. Don't focus on the success of others

It is very difficult not to fall into a “comparison trap de in this period of social media applications. Im My clothes aren't as stylish as the girls on Instagram ”,“ I wish I could travel that much de. Such comparisons can easily make us unhappy. However, this fact should not be forgotten; people show only parts of what you want to see on social media. Moreover, there is a lot of evidence that the facts are not as rosy as they appear on social media. But instead of thinking about them, focus on your own achievements. Instead of confusing yourself with someone else, to see your own achievements closer and understand how valuable you are; note down 5 things you've accomplished each day on a piece of paper.

7. Ignore someone else's opinion about you

Imagine how often you try to leave the “right” impression on other people. How positive is this return to you? Can you afford your efforts from other people? Then why are you trying to make them happy? What others think about you is absolutely not important. If you care about it, it can hurt you. According to experts, people who are dependent on others' thoughts are more likely to feel anxious and depressed.

8. Focus on the “moment değil, not the past or the future

Of course, do not think about your future or future certainly do not say. However, living in the past makes one unhappy. Too much focus on the future can lead to a struggle with negative emotions such as anxiety. Give yourself a minute if you're concerned or worried about the past or the future. Close your eyes, listen to what is going on around you and try to smell the environment. In this way, you will give your awareness to the present moment. Source: 1 Read the full article

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seriestrash · 7 years

Text

The Story of Us

PROLOGUE || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 ||

Chapter Twelve: Happy You’re Here

Word Count: 1675

✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮

After a telling conversation with Jed Sunday evening and a very emotional phone call with her parents, Riley finally passes out in her room.

The following morning it’s a knock at Riley’s door that wakes her. The brunette stirs in bed. She feels completely drained, quite the contrast from the revitalising sleep she had the night before last.

Jedediah pokes his head through the door. “Time to get up for school, Riley.” He says softly. “I’ll drive you today.”

“Thank you.” Riley gives him a small but sad smile.

The older man leaves Riley to get herself ready for school. Riley opens the tall old-fashioned wardrobe and looks at her clothes. On one side there were the things Topanga sent over and on the other were Maya’s old clothes. For the first time in days Riley felt like wearing one of the ripped shirts. After some quiet contemplation Riley changes into an outfit from the side holding her own clothes.

Once ready, Riley drags herself downstairs, her school backpack slung over one shoulder, her steps sluggish. Riley’s mood pricks up a little when she catches the end of Jed’s phone conversation.

“... Yes, Topy. Okay. Yes. I’ll tell her. Alright I have to go now or she’ll be late for school... I love you too.”

“That was mom?” Riley asks once she hits the bottom of the stairs.

“Yes. She was a bit worried after you called her last night.” Jed nods.

“Sorry.” Riley shifts awkwardly in place.

“Don’t be.” Jed says sincerely. “Topanga was just checking in. She says she loves you and will talk this afternoon. Riley gives him a small nod and they head to school.

During the car ride to school with Jed, Riley’s initial exhaustion - which spurred from how emotionally draining the previous evening was - quickly turned into an empty feeling. Something Riley could only describe as numb. Like life was being lived around her. A disconnect to her immediate reality.

The numbness stuck with Riley all day. The only release she had from her own thoughts came at lunch when Mabel drags Riley outside to the secluded bench where she goes on to, very excitedly, share details of her walk home with Thomas Saturday evening and their first date that followed.

Riley is happy for her friend and does get caught up in the story but once the bell rings signalling the end of lunch, she’s forced back into the state of shock she’d been in all morning.

Finally, the end of the school day arrives. The New Yorker is extra quiet on the bus, just like how she’d been all day. An anxious Lucas sits one seat behind her and Mabel sits in the seat in front.

Once at her stop, Riley exits first. Her strides are a little quicker than usual as she wanted to get back to Jed as soon as possible.

“Riley, are we okay?” Lucas fastens his pace in attempt to keep up with the brunette as she marches down the street.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” Riley keeps her gaze focused on the road ahead.

“You’ve been acting strange all day.” Lucas says.

“Would you like me to apologise for being weird?” Riley almost snaps.

“No…” Lucas frowns. Riley could be confusing at times, usually he felt he had a pretty good read on her but this was another level. “You didn’t show up to see Zay off this morning-“

“I’ll see Zay when I go back to New York.” Riley is blunt. “Because I will be going home. Probably very soon.”

“Okay..” Lucas is struggling to keep up with Riley as she walks with purpose ahead of him. “And you didn’t sit with us at lunch today.”

“I sat with Mabel.” Riley sates. “She was telling me about Thomas. She couldn’t do that in front of him.”

“Yeah that makes sense.” Lucas nods. “I kinda wanted to talk to you about how we left things yesterday.”

“Lucas, I’m sorry but...” Riley trails off when she spots someone in the distance sitting on the porch steps of Jed’s house.

“Who's that?” Lucas followed her line of sight.

“That’s my little brother.” Riley’s face lights up. The backpack that she has slung over one shoulder slips off and hits the road as Riley quite literally sprints towards Jed’s house. Once Auggie spots his sister he jumps up too and they meet by the mailbox where they slam together in a hug. Riley loves moments like these when Auggie wasn’t too cool to love his big sister.

“Auggie!” Riley squeezes him tightly.

“I missed you.” Auggie says mid embrace.

“I miss you too, Augs.” Riley gives him another quick squeeze before pulling away to look at him. “Mom and dad?”

“They’re inside.” Auggie grins.

Riley looks towards the house and through the window she sees her mom and dad speaking to each other. As if she sensed her, Topanga turns towards Riley, they lock gazes and both wear sheepish smiles.

Riley breaks her stare once Lucas finally reaches the mailbox, he has Riley’s fallen pack in hand.

“Thank you.” Riley takes it off him with a quiet giggle.

“No problem.” Lucas half smiles.

Auggie clears his throat. Riley lets out a little chuckle. “Auggie this is Lucas, he lives next door. Lucas, this is Auggie my not so little brother.” Riley ruffles his hair.

“It’s barely been a month, don’t start crying about how much I’ve grown.” His tone heavily suggests sarcasm. ‘Cool’ Auggie was definitely back.

“Yeah, yeah.” Riley rolls her eyes with a smile. She even missed their bickering.

“I should probably let you get inside.” Lucas says.

“Okay.” Riley nods slightly. Her mood completely different to that of two minutes ago. “I’m sorry for being weird today... and yesterday... We can talk soon.”

“Hey, I never wanted you to apologise for being weird.” Lucas takes a few backwards steps. “But I won’t say no tho that talk.” With that he turns on the heels of his boots and walks towards his house.

“When did you get here?” Riley turns her attention back to Auggie.

“A couple hours ago. We left home this morning.”

“Do you know what’s going on?” Riley’s mood deflates a little.

“Mom and dad explained last night.” Auggie nods.

“I’m happy you’re here.” Riley wears a small smile.

The two make their way up to the porch. Riley grows nervous as her hand hovers above the handle. Feeling silly, she shakes her head, opens the door and enters Jed’s home. Within seconds she’s engulfed in a three way hug with both her parents. Riley sinks into the comfortable familiarity that is the embrace.

Once the warm family reunion is out of the way, Riley is still left with the excited rush feeling she’s had since she spotted Auggie out on the street.

“How long are you here for?” Riley asks.

“For the time being, indefinitely.” Topanga is the one to answer. Riley knew exactly what that meant.

“What about work and school for Auggie?” Riley questions.

“Your mother and I have plenty of holiday time and I can homeschool Auggie for now.” Cory speaks next.

“You can stay in class or study here with your father too.” Topanga adds.

“I’m really happy you’re here.” Riley smiles genuinely.

Throughout the rest of the evening there is still a slight off feeling lingering in the air but overall it was pleasant. Riley notices how happy Jed seems to have his daughter present and how interested he was in acquainting himself with Auggie. Once everything settles down, Riley excuses herself from the dinner table and heads upstairs for a moment. Riley sits cross-legged with her back against the balcony doors. It’s only a few short moments before Topanga enters the room too.

“Bay window?” She asks with a soft smile. Riley nods. “May I join you?” Another nod from Riley and Topanga is joining her on the floor.

Topanga is smiling, her grin softens as she broaches the sensitive subject. “How are you, honey?”

“I’m okay. I have to be, right?” Riley’s smile is sad.

“Hon, you’re just getting to know your grandfather and now you have to deal with the fact that he’s sick.” Topanga states. “It’s fine to be upset about that.”

Riley does her best not to cry. “What’s going to happen now?”

“Tomorrow your father and I are going to go to some appointments with Jed and we’ll see from there.”

“Does grandma know?” Riley asks.

“Yes, we spoke to your grandma and grandpa before our flight this morning.” Topanga nods.

“No, I meant your mom.” Riley clarifies.

“Oh.” Topanga is slightly shocked. “No, I haven't spoken to her about it...”

“Are you going to tell her?” Riley questions.

“That’s a little complicated, Riley. My parents have been divorced for years.” Topanga is more awkward than usual. “It might be hard for you to understand..”

“That’s what I’ve spent three weeks here trying to do. Understand. Where I came from, why I’m here and it’s the same answer for both. Love.” Riley says. “Did you know this is where grandpa met grandma?”

“I did.” Topanga nods softly, quietly in awe of how mature her daughter seems.

“Then you know he moved back to a place that reminds him of the time they fell in love.” Riley says.

“Yes but that was a long time ago, Riley.” Topanga frowns.

“If you and dad were to ever split up, even on the worst of terms, I can’t imagine you not wanting to know if dad was sick.” Riley holds her mothers gaze.

“Okay.” Topanga nods knowing her daughter is right. “I’ll speak to her.”

Riley cuddles into her mothers side. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

“So that boy this afternoon, was that Lucas?” Topanga asks a devilish tone in her voice. “The boy next-door you talk about on the phone?”

“Yep.” Riley nods into her mothers side.

“Now I know why you warmed up to this place so quickly.” Topanga shares a knowing laugh.

“Mom.” Riley chuckles nervously.

End Notes: Sorry this chapter is so short but at least you didn’t have to wait two weeks for it hahah ! The story has only a few more chapters left! Let me know how you’re liking it so far xxx

#rucas #rucas au #rucas fic #the story of us

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