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thatstrangegiiirrlll · 1 year

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California Sunset

Hey y’all! This is the first smut I’ve ever posted on the internet. I’ve been writing for a good six and a half to seven years now(four years for fun and around 3 or so years professionally) and I believe that I’m a pretty good writer. One thing though, when it comes to putting my work out there for people to read and interpret for themselves, sometimes that can be a bit nerve-wracking. Either way I put my ALL into my work whether it’s a smut, short story, poem, or an entire novel. I hope you all enjoy. (:

It’s a gorgeous, goregous night here in LA, the breathtaking sunset sitting perfectly in the middle of the sky. The swriling hues of orange and pink are enough to make anyone stop and stare in awe. You only hope that someone can find you as enchanting and beautiful as a warm sunset.

You figured that you had that with Chishiya, but now you aren’t so sure anymore. You’ve always been understanding of how busy and consumed in work that your boyfriend can be. Especially when he loses a pateint. You know how much of a toll that can take on his emotions at times. Being a doctor isn’t easy in anyway. All in the same, it’s a very rewarding career path.

As a nurse, you’re also occupied with your own career, with your life in general. But you’ve always gone by the belief that people make time for what they deem as a priority—what they consider important to them. And you always make time for Chishiya. Now it seems as though he’s starting to pull away from you. He barely touches you—rarely ever even compliments you anymore. You hate to admit how much that stings, how much it hurts your pride.

“Chishiya,” you call out to him, eyes glazing over his slim, relaxed stature. He’s so into the game that he’s currently playing on his playstation that you sadly doubt he heard you call his name. Or worse, he’s ignoring you on purpose.

You frown up, crossing your arms in impatience. “Chishiya!” This time your tone is a lot more crisp and assertive.

“Hm,” he mumbles, almost carelessly, never taking his eyes off of the tv screen.

In attempt to ignore his cold demeanor, you clear your throat in hopes that he can’t detect the hurt in your voice.

“I’m leaving to meet up with friends now. I won’t be back until very late.”

His eyes dart from his game and to you for a split second as he says, “Not too late. Be safe.” And just like that he averts every morsel of his attention back to the game.

Knowing how childish the very next words leaving your mouth are, you say them anyway, unable to hide your hurt. “Yeah, maybe I’ll come across a man that truly recognizes me and appreciates my damn existence tonight.” You eye him sharply, arms still stacked tightly across your chest—your special defense mechanism. He pauses his game as if on queue, a smirk forming on his soft, baby face, implying he’s willing to play along into your game. You resent how adorable and squishy you find this man. Even when he’s being a distant, insensitive, little prick.

He chuckles as he replies, “Sure. Send me a picture when you find him. I need to know what I’m up against.”

You scoff. “How do some nudes sound, Chishiya?” You retort, unable to conceal the emotion in your voice at this point. “Forget it. I’ll see you whenever you decide to act like you give a damn about me.”

That heavy and restricting sensation one gets in their throat when tears threaten to fall begins to bite at you as you turn abruptly to exit the room. But Chishiya has other plans. He grips you up, spinning you by your waist, somehow teleporting from his previous, peaceful position in his gaming chair and over to you. Sheesh. Don’t underestimate these shorter men. They move quick. Not to mention that surprising strength they have.

“What?” He questions, trying to look you in the eyes, but you stubbornly refuse to look at his face, afraid you’ll cry once you do so. “That’s why you’re threatening me with other men, huh? You think I don’t care about you?”

You push his hands off of your body, heaving out a small whimper. “Chishiya,” you whisper, your tone of voice tired and matter of factly. “Do you even find me attractive anymore? I mean seriously…you give me minimal devotion when we’re together. Just now, you could barely be bothered to pause that ugly game long enough to see off your girlfriend! And your affection? It’s almost as though you never even had any for me. You touch me like its an obligation and not because you genuinely want to. Do you get how that makes me feel as a woman? I feel as though you’re disgusted by me.”

He stands there for a second, his face displaying guilt and realization. Sighing, he walks over to his bed, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants as he flops down. “Come here.”

You can’t help it when your eyes roll slightly, stinging from the air. You walk over to him purposely standing about a foot or so away from the bed. He leans forward, grabbing you from behind your thighs and sitting you onto his lap. You blush when you feel him against you through your underwear.

He rubs your sides softly, squeezing them with intention. Your dress rises a bit at the action. “Let me start off by saying I love you; I love you so much it hurts me. You’re so gosh darn pretty it hurts me. There’s not a single part of your body and soul that I don’t adore.”

You manage to keep a soft eye contact with him as he pours himself out into you, squirming a bit as the sudden heavy and passionate mood of the room has you feeling shy. He smiles crookedly at your demeanor before continuing.

“I apologize for being distant, love. I shouldn’t direct my worries at you as if you’re the cause of them. You make me better and I forgot that for a moment there. On top of work and just being utterly drained all the time, I stored the fact that my stress reliever is you all the way back in to my mind. I’ll be more mindful from now on. I’ll be present.”

You swallow quietly, unsure of what to say. Your eyes are glued to his cat-like eyes as he smiles cheekily at you. You cave in at the precious sight, cupping his left cheek warmly.

“I love you, Chishiya. I’m always gonna be right here for you to talk to. I care about you and your wellbeing. You’re my heart.”

He nods reassuringly, taking both your hands behind your back and kissing you deeply. This catches you off guard, but you respond immediately, allowing his tongue to taste every inch of your mouth. You release a satisfied groan into his mouth, the vibration tickling the roof of it. He chuckles at the sensation. He’s giggling and being all light and feathery, but there’s a drive of concentration and lust in you as you grind into his pelvis, needing to feel more. Your eyes darken with arousal as the kiss gets more sloppy and explorative.

When he lets your arms loose from behind your back and slips a hand behind your neck to deepen the kiss even more, you become ecstatic; the feeling of sizzling passion and care eating away at you. You can hardly take it. He kisses you as if he wants to swallow you whole. In the nastiest of ways, he ravishes you immensely.

“Chishiya,” you breathe out, your core tingling with every sensation. Your stomach is on fire with excitement.

He places a final soft kiss to your lips before slipping your stretchable dress over your head. That look of hunger in his eyes mixed with a display of smug innocence drove you crazy. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

When your dress is off completely, he latches his tongue onto your nipple, teasing it with delicacy. He moves his mouth back and forth between your breasts, giving special attention to both of them. You gasp harshly when he grazes his teeth lightly over your hard nipples, sucking them with an exhilarating popping sound that slides off of his tongue.

“You’re so sweet,” he whispers in that husky voice that you love so much. He turns you over on your back onto the bed, laying a pillow behind your head for support. “Shit. You’re soaked, huh?”

Your eyes flutter open to the sight of him taking your underwear to the side, using his thumb to rub your clit tenderly. You blush hard at the remark and relish in the contact he’s delivering.

He continues this for a few more seconds as you only become wetter with each touch. Removing your panties all the way off and tossing them aimlessly, he positions himself perfectly between your thighs, planting love bites on them before sloppily kissing your pussy. You arch your back as far as it can go, aching to feel every sensation. You feel him smirk against your pussy, getting a kick out of how good he makes you feel.

Licking softly from your slit and back up to your clit as an appetizer, he sucks on the area, resulting in a squeal from you. He sucks on your pussy as though he hadn’t eaten all day. You’re pretty positive if it was possible to leave hickeys on a clit, you’d have a ton.

“Fuck,” you hiss, throwing your head back and grabbing the sheets in desperation. He looks up at you, slow and loving catlike blinks and admiration all over him. It’s something about the way he looks into your eyes as he tastes you that screams “I see right through you.”

“I’m coming,” you manage—barely a whisper. He can feel your pussy start to contract against his mouth and he gives his all to you as you ride out your orgasm against his face. It glistens with your arousal and this sight alone tips you over.

You gasp breathlessly as you come, stomach and chest heaving up and down. You have no control over your legs as they quiver uncontrollably. “Oh my fuck,” Is all you can say as your body is still coming off of the serious convulsion you just had. Teasingly, he begins rubbing the extremely sensitive area at quick speed, knowing how insane it drives you. You push him back weakly and groan, overwhelmed at the sudden touch. What a sneaky, little fucking tease, you think.

He rises up, giggling and hovering over you, leaning down to kiss you lovingly. “You always make such pretty noises for me.”

You wrap your arms lazily over his neck and pull him down for another kiss, forgetting all about the fact that you’re supposed to be going out tonight. Oh well. This is way better anyway.

And there’s the end of that! As you all can see I have a lot of love for the character Shuntaro Chishiya, as I do a lot of characters. But I just recently finished season 2 of Alice in borderland and it’s literally impossible for me to fall anymore in love with his character than I already am. I’m into a lot of different fandoms so expect all kinds of material on this blog! No one trick pony ish on this side. I do it all. I appreciate the read. Leave a like if you found this smut smutty enough for your taste. And leave a comment on anything I can improve! -Ash

#alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #sweet #intimate #affection #manga #first time reader #first smut #japanese #california #alice in boderland x reader #heartfelt #intimacy #hello tumblr

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danascullysjournal · 1 year

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If You Will Let Me

A Post-Milagro X Files Fic

TW: Medical trauma, near death experience, sedation, visit from the dead, mentions of demons

___________________

Chapter 20: Tethered

There is a plane between death and life, a haze of struggling where the soul is suspended. Battered by tempests unseen, haunted by visions of what was and what could be, the spirit is tethered to a silkworm’s thread, swung on a pendulum.

Toward the darkness.

Toward the light.

In the darkness, velvet waves pummel and formless voids gape in hunger. The stench of death wafts from their depths. They wait. Ravenous. They beckon in earnest.

They promise peace. But they have no peace.

They promise safety. They are not safe.

But what can the spirit do, adrift in this ocean, without a compass, without a rudder, at the mercy of currents and the strength of the thread? The soul cries out for an unseen savior, a way to be pulled from mouths that would devour. To be gathered and bound up, a castaway returned, restored to what was. Pulled safely, securely into the folds of light.

The hours passed. The pendulum swang.

It was disorienting. The space in which Scully found herself was not truly anywhere. She knew that much.

But the voices enveloping her, or inside of her, were insistent. Insistent and real.

Their desperation, their hunger spurred her on. Giving in to the darkness would only guarantee her damnation. And his victory. As much as the cavernous spaces yearned to pull her in, she wouldn’t go. God, she couldn’t.

The thread wavered, drawing her along aimlessly, a faceless soul through battering gales.

She felt him near, somehow, even though he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, manifest as he had in her apartment. How much of himself had he woven into her? She was infected. Stained.

She tried to cry out, but found her throat was sand.

The cord twisted. It spun.

She saw a hint of light.

Pale, thin glimmers on an otherwise formless, shrouded horizon.

Another voice began alongside the sounds of hunger. Calling to her. Intent, but with a different tone than the mouths that wanted to consume.

This sound was kind. This voice had hope.

Dad? Dad!

How many years had it been? She tried to reach out, but had no control of her arms. Tried to call to him, but could not find her words. Tried to find him- somehow- but her body felt nothing save the emptiness of this barren plane of existence.

She choked, the absence of breath, the absence of self striking panic.

Dad!

“I’m here, Starbuck. I’m here.”

She wanted to yell for him. Cry out to him. Hug him, one last time.

But he was nowhere and everywhere, and her mouth was mute.

Are you real? She wanted him to be. More than anything.

“This part of me is.”

You… pulled us out of the house. You came for me.

“How could I not? How could I not come for my little girl?”

The flood of loss, of undying love was overwhelming. It suspended them both in a cocoon of bittersweet silence.

Dad. How did you know?

“You will be amazed, someday, at what we get to know. What we get to see, and do, when we are needed. That’s why I’m here now.”

I do, I do need you, Dad. I’ve missed you so much, I thought I could never talk to you again… and you’re here and I just…

She felt like a desperate little girl. She wished she could cry, just to ease the torment inside herself. But she was bound up, inside and out. Powerless. It made her ache all the more.

“You won’t stay here. You’re my fighter. Remember?”

How can I fight what I can’t see?

His voice seemed nearer, somehow. She could almost smell his aftershave, she thought.

“You don’t. Not alone. You have to decide, Dana. Decide what you’re willing to fight for. And I hope you make the right choice.”

What is the right choice?

“I always chose myself, Dana. And my orders, and my job. All the accolades, all the rewards, remember? And I was given permission to come to you, to tell you that is not enough. Not to really live.”

That doesn’t make sense.

“It does. You’re just still afraid to admit it. I left with things undone, sweetheart. I was certain that what I did was enough. I was strong, your mother was strong, I made you kids strong. You were strong because you had to be. Because I wasn’t really there for you to rely on.”

If she could breathe here, if she could speak, she would have screamed at him. As much as she knew his words were true, his confession tore open a flood wall inside her. The sudden deluge of denial and bitterness was too great.

Don’t say that! You were there, Dad, you were.

“I tried to be, sometimes. But I was torn. Blinded by what I thought was important. But ask your mother, when you get home. Ask her about the forgotten anniversaries. And the birthdays I missed, for trainings or ceremonies. Remember who helped you with your homework, and your big projects.” His voice was sad. “I had a lot to do… a lot I thought was more important… She was always so, so good. Forgiving.” He paused, his silence pained. “Service has a cost. Service to our country. Or to the FBI. We choose where to place our time, our trust. That’s what shows love. I didn’t give your mother… or you kids… I didn’t give the time you deserved. When you go back, please tell her I’m sorry. You have to tell her that. I’m so, so sorry.”

If a voice could carry weight, if it could bear upon another with a touch, she would swear she felt him holding her with only his soft timbre.

She desperately wished she could hug him back.

I love you, Dad.

“I love you, too. So much. Listen to me, Starbuck, I want you to know, it is possible to love and be strong. What you’ve been doing, carrying all this. Fighting alone… you don’t have to. Sometimes being strong alone… it isn’t possible. It isn’t what’s best. I wish I had known… wish I had acted on it more. I wish I had shown you all how important you really are.”

You sound like Mulder.

“And I can tell you don’t think that’s a bad thing. Make the right choice, Dana. Don’t wait till it’s too late. You can't get the time back. And don’t forget, I’m here. Always. In your corner.”

But Dad, wait—

The pendulum swung.

The silk thread snapped.

____________________

Opening his eyelids fully was too much effort. Instead, Mulder settled on cracking them just enough to make out the golden glow that surrounded him.

His neural networks processed haphazardly, firing thoughts at random as he regained full consciousness.

Good color. Scully would like it.

His fingers felt next to him, where her body had been resting with him the past nights. He wanted to wake her, to show her the strange tangerine light that enveloped them.

His fingers found cold sheets.

Scully should be here. She’s not.

He fought to force his eyes open, his heart rate climbing as the confusion and panic took root. His pupils registered the plain, sunset stained hospital walls. The heart monitor pads on his chest. The IV lines anchored in his veins. The nurses running into the room.

His mouth became cotton. His forehead grew hot with a strange, chilled sweat and his stomach turned without warning. He bolted upright and managed to twist his body in the hospital bed before he vomited onto the floor, and the shoes of a nurse.

“Oh…gaw..m’s’ry…” The apology slurred out. His tongue felt thick and unfamiliar.

The dark haired nurse smiled slightly at him. “It’s okay, really. Not the worst thing I’ve had happen.” While the other nurse helped clean him up and lay him back on the pillows, the dark haired nurse wiped her shoes off with a towel.

“Fox, is it? My name is Beth,” she continued. “And this is Abby. We’re here most nights. When they brought you in, they told us we have to keep an extra eye on you. They had to sedate you to get you to rest. Sounds like you’re trouble.”

Mulder couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. Even if she were serious, he couldn’t form a coherent rebuttal. He managed a shrug instead. Yes, he did seem to be trouble, he supposed. His bosses and exes would all vouch for that.

Abby was changing fluids in the IV drip. Mulder eyed her. Her hair curled, like Samantha’s. He found himself suddenly leery of these two strangers. They could be another demonic ruse, for all he knew.

“So we will be just outside your room at the nurse’s station, and will come in and bother you, probably more than you want. They said you can’t be alone.” There was a strange tone in Beth’s voice. Irritation, Mulder decided. Or distain. “Anyway, ER bandaged you up nice, so we’ll just be here to change gauze, check your fluids. You’ll be out of here in no time.” Beth patted his hand and turned to leave.

“Where’s’ssshhh,” he managed.

Beth blinked.

“Wurrrss’shee,” he tried again.

“Oh, oh. Where is she…” She glanced at Abby, a pensive look on her face.

He felt his panic building again.

Abby scrambled to tamp down his worry. “Sir, we have to keep all patient information confidential. But I promise you she’s alright.” She offered a kind, reassuring grin.

Beth pursed her lips and gave Abby a disapproving look, then glanced back at him. “And that’s all we can tell you, sir. We shouldn’t even tell you that much.” Her glare settled back on her colleague.

Mulder’s heart rate slowed on the monitor. He nodded, a small smile on his lips.

Scully is alive.

“Get some rest.” Abby finished making notations and both nurses turned to leave. “You’ll feel much better tomorrow. Promise.” She offered another polite smile over her shoulder.

He was so, so tired. Sedated? Given how his body felt, it was entirely plausible. As his eyes drifted closed, he heard Beth from the hallway.

“They told us it’s a DV case! Everyone’s been talking about it! What were you thinking?” Her words hissed through her teeth.

“He was worried, Beth.”

“Maybe. Or maybe he’s acting. Don’t give any more information or you’re gonna get yourself fired.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m serious! You do it again and I’m reporting it. I’m not going down with you just because you think a guy is nice.”

Though his head was still foggy and stomach still swimming, Mulder’s mind was clear enough to register the weight of their words. So much for getting help from anyone here. Maybe once his brain fog lifted he could….

The fresh dose of sedatives in the IV took over as dusk began to settle into the corners of the room.

Fox Mulder fell into a dreamless, leaden sleep.

____________________

“Dad!” Scully’s hoarse voice cut through the monotonous beeping of the monitors. Her eyes flew open as she gasped in air. It was sick-sweet and plastic.

Her fingers found an oxygen mask. Beeping monitors behind her hammered out her elevated heart rate.

Fumbling, she pulled at the mask. It caught, hindered by her hair tangled in the elastic. A nurse ran into her room before she managed to remove it.

“Dana? You okay?” The panic of inexperience stained the young man’s voice. He hurried to her side in an attempt to calm her. Once he secured the mask once more, he eased her back down to the pillow. “It’s good to see you awake, at least.”

“I heard- I swear he was here.” Scully’s eyes searched the dimly lit hospital room.

“Who?”

She blinked back the emotion she felt bubbling to the surface.

“Who was in here?”

She shook her head. “It must have been a dream.”

There was certainly no way she could explain what she had just experienced to anyone else.

“That would make sense,” the nurse said. “You’ve been through a lot, bad dreams can come from that. It’s good to see you so alert.”

Scully felt ill at ease. Her medical mind struggled to process, to make sense of where she was and what had happened. She didn’t remember going to the hospital, but she could deduce why she was there easily enough. What she couldn’t reconcile to herself was the fact that she was alive. After feeling them entering her body… after deciding she was too tired to fight anymore… she should be… dead? Part of them? Definitely not sitting here, she was sure of that much.

She knew that she had her father to thank for that.

“Could I… Can I talk to a doctor, or at least see my chart?” She tried in vain to sit up. “Please, I’m a doctor.”

The young man studied her face seriously. “You have been through a lot,” he repeated. “And you’ve been unconscious. You are really lucky.” He nodded toward the mask on her face. “Oxygen, obviously. Keep it on. Keep resting. Your body needs it. The doctor will be in to make rounds in the morning, and you can talk to him then. The last thing you need is more stress on your mind or body right now.”

“You said I’m lucky.” She sounded strange to herself, muffled through the mask. “What about my partner?”

“Partner?”

Her stomach dropped. She took a breath to steady herself. “Yes, Fox Mulder. He would have been with me.”

The nurse shook his head apologetically. “I don’t know that name. I’m sorry.”

Panic seized her. “I have to find him, you have to let me go!”

She began pulling at the mask again, but the nurse grabbed both of her hands. His face bent down to hers, his eyes serious.

“Listen. This is a big hospital, and you’re in the intensive care unit. Your partner is probably in another area. You need to stay here until we can be sure you’re alright, okay? You’ve been unconscious for a couple days. You lost so much blood they had to do a transfusion. But they don’t know how on earth you lost it.” His brow was furrowed with worry, or pity. “I don’t know what all you went through, but I can tell it wasn’t fun.”

Scully shook her head slowly, reeling at this new information. “No. It wasn’t.” As he let go, she let her hands fall to her sides. Bewildered. Defeated.

“My name is Jordan, I’m here all night. I can stay here for a bit, till you go to sleep? Would you like that?”

He was no Mulder, but she didn’t want to be alone. She nodded softly.

“Yes, please.”

Jordan pulled a chair close to her bedside. She sighed, irritated that her body was so weak and worn. Still, she was thankful for the company.

“How long have you been working here, Jordan?”

The nurse ducked his head in a boyish fashion. “This is actually my first year working. But I completed my clinicals here, too.”

“Mm, good for you.” She smiled at him. “You chose a good line of work; you'll help lots of people. So you're pretty familiar with the hospital then?”

The nurse nodded.

“Would you do something for me, please?” In spite of herself, Scully felt her eyelids getting heavy again. Her body felt utterly spent.

“I’ll try.” His voice was wary.

“Can you find out if my partner is okay? Fox Mulder.” Her eyes were desperate. “I need to know. We were attacked, and I want- just, please find out if he’s here, if he’s alright.” Her jaw clenched tight against tears that threatened. I need him to be alright.

Jordan nodded, holding her gaze. “You know I can’t give you personal information… but I can see if he’s here.” He gave a smile. “I promise.”

The relieved grin she returned was faded from fatigue. “That’s all I want, thank you. Just to know he’s safe. He’s… he’s a good friend.”

Her father’s words wavered in her subconscious as she began to drift off.

You’re right, Dad. I know you’re right.

____________________

Footsteps on the tile floor roused Mulder.

He took great care to turn his head like the hour hand, wary of startling the staff or making himself throw up again.

“How are ya feeling?” Abby’s kind face studied him through the dim light.

He rolled his dry tongue in his mouth as he stared at her. His eyes darted toward the doorway, then back. She was alone… which either meant the nurse was really here alone, or… He felt a low panic begin to creep in. If it was indeed the demons again, he was hardly in a position to resist. He swallowed thickly, moving his mouth in an attempt at words.

“Behht?” He groaned to himself. Stupid sedative.

Abby grinned. “Beth?”

“Mh- hmm.” He kept his eyes fixed on her, watching for a shift, a telltale murmur in the planes of her face.

She let out a small laugh. “She’s not your favorite, is she?”

Mulder grunted.

“She’s on break,” she shrugged. Her long brown curls moved with her shoulders. “I figured now was a good time to check in on you… I dunno. She’s a good nurse. She just makes her mind up about people pretty quick. But I like to decide for myself. Just because you hear something about someone doesn’t mean it’s true, ya know.” She offered another smile.

Mulder licked his cracked lips. “No more. No, no more sedttiff.” He glared at the IV bag to make his point.

She shook her head. “No, we don’t do that unless it’s absolutely necessary. That was supposed to be the last round. As long as you promise not to go crazy and try to hurt anyone again.”

He scrunched his nose and brow in confusion.

“You don’t remember?”

He slowly shook his head.

“Huh. Well, I wasn’t here when they brought you in, but the report was that you were pretty upset. Fighting the paramedics. Saying crazy things.” Her eyes were filled with sympathy. “You must have been in shock, I guess. You look like you’ve been through a lot.” She studied the cuts on his face, his bandaged hand.

“Mhm.” He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering Padgett’s hollow, hateful stare, Scully’s terrified face… the darkness filling him. “T’ tried’t’take us.”

Abby’s eyebrows furrowed. “Take you? So you- you didn’t hurt the other patient.” The relief was evident on her face.

“Never.” He wished he could explain himself more, so this nurse could understand. Scully was his only reason to keep going. The thought of hurting her was unconscionable.

“I knew you weren’t that kind of guy. Who did this to you?”

Mulder blinked, considering his next move carefully. She seemed trustworthy, but if she felt he was crazy or dangerous… He examined her kind face, framed by long curls that were tucked back in a loose, messy ponytail. A glint of metal flashed from one earlobe that peeked through her hair.

He squinted. A cross earring.

She squinted back at him with a small grin. “What?”

“Umm…” Mulder struggled to sit up, fighting the residual dizziness. “D’you b’lieve in God?” He could barely believe the words as they came out of his mouth. Less than a week ago, he would have vehemently denied any plausibility of such things. Yet here he was, tethered to a hospital bed with IV lines and BP sensors, all because of a hoard of demons. The world was a strange place.

Abby tilted her head, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I believe in God. Why?”

He took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “Okay, an’dem’ns?”

She stared at him, her brow twisted in confusion.

“An’demons.” He spat out. He couldn’t wait till he regained full control of his thick, uncooperative tongue.

“Demons,” she repeated.

He nodded. His eyes locked on hers, begging her to take him seriously. She took a step backward, toward the door. Her lips were a thin line.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Mulder, I don’t want to get involved in any of that.”

“Please.”

“This is why you were sedated…” She reached the doorway and stopped. Her arms were crossed, her expression pensive. How many times had he seen that look on Scully’s perfect, freckled face? He would give anything to see her, to hold her again.

“Please,” he tried again. “I need help. Please.”

Abby shook her head fiercely and her curls flung back and forth, magnifying her reticence. “I can’t. Even if what you’re saying is real- and I’m not agreeing it is- even if it is, how could I possibly help?”

Mulder spoke slowly. “Y’don’t understand. Th’want me. An’ her. Not you.” He kept his eyes locked on hers, pleading. “I gotta get help, an’ if I don’t. We die. She dies. I die.” He felt his stomach churning, from the sedative. From the helplessness. “You don’t hafta believe me, but’f you go, you’re killing two people. Two. Is your doubt worth that?”

The hospital room was silent for a long moment, save the beeping of the heart monitor.

Abby licked her lips nervously, then took a deep breath.

“Okay.” It was a whisper. “I don’t want anybody dead… But this doesn’t mean I believe all you said, either. What do you need me to do?”

____________________

#TXF fanfic #If You Will Let Me #txf #TW: medical #TW: near death #TW: visit from the dead #TW: sedation #TW: mentions of demons #msr #msr fanfic #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully

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peace-coast-island · 17 days

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Diary of a Junebug

Radiant ocean gems adorning the walls of the Sea Pearl Manor

Swimming in the clear waters of the Harmonious Pearl Sea and letting yourself get carried away by the gentle currents rocking back and forth is really quite relaxing. If I was the kind of person who could easily doze off, I probably would - but I’m not, though I’ve closed my eyes several times just to let myself be one with the ebb and flow of the waters.

PSA though, be careful with currents as most of them aren’t as gentle, and the last thing you want is be carried far away, or worse, panicking and fighting against it. Although I consider myself a strong swimmer, I am not risking wasting my stamina on a losing battle. Just a word of caution.

The Sea Pearl Manor looks even more grand in person, almost dreamlike when the light hits the waters at certain times of the day. It kinda reminds me of the underwater ruins in Marippe, at least how they would’ve looked back in the day. Even though they call it a manor, it gives off more like a palace vibe, which makes sense because it used to be one.

Nowadays it’s more like a courtyard where people can walk around and explore remnants of the past civilizations. The main area’s open to the public while in the back it’s closed off by a large gate because it’s private property. Most of the families who live there are descendants of very first nation that settled in these waters, so they go back several millennia. Despite the political turmoils the sea went through and all the ancient history being inevitably lost to time, a couple noble families had the good sense later down the line to try and preserve as much as they can for posterity.

Their efforts might have seemed futile at first as constant political strifes would continue for centuries, but over time they lessened, especially as details about past conflicts slowly became public. After all, history is doomed to repeat itself unless we learn from past mistakes. Things were quiet for about 50 years or so until another conflict came up, and like it had always been, it was born out of ignorance, usually at the expanse of an innocent life. The center of that conflict was a noble family, or more specifically the former head of that family, who is either exiled from the sea or in prison for life - no one really knows for sure - and his illegitimate daughter. More on that later, but anyway, he almost started over a war over her existence, and he obviously failed, thankfully. That was about 20 years ago and since then peace has settled over the land, hopefully for a very long time.

To think a place as beautiful as this would be the center of so many wars and political unrest. Despite the rough history, the people have proven to be resilient to the hardships, which is why their descendants stand tall today, more determined than ever to make sure their children and grandchildren will grow up in an era of long lasting peace and stability.

We’re staying at an inn not too far from the manor, courtesy of Sara’s friend Chelle, whose family has been running the place for three generations now. Also joining us are Raiden and Melle, whose grandfather and aunts live in the villa near the manor. Mel’s obviously here with family while Raiden’s here to check in on someone who just moved here.

Melle usually spends the summer here, but this year she won’t be able to make it because she’ll be busy helping her parents take care of the newest member of the family. Know how inevitably hectic life will be with a baby coming, Melle’s aunts - her mother’s older sisters - decided to invite the family over for a visit as well as a baby shower. Her mother Antonia is the youngest of Master Ewald’s seven daughters as well as the only one who lives above the surface in a seaside village called Fleurette.

The Ewald family goes way back to the very first civilization that was built, and they were the ones who worked hard to preserve history and keep the manor in good condition. Although they later lost political power, they were still widely respected by other noble families, so that explains their longevity and influence. It wasn’t until the events of 20 years ago when the other faction fell and their successor decided to form an alliance when the Ewalds became more active in politics again now that a major obstacle had been removed.

That successor is Senne of the Thijmen family, a distant relative of the Ewalds. He and his predecessor, his father, never saw eye to eye on anything, which contributed to the clan’s decline. The former head had an illegitimate daughter, Maaike, who he cast aside because of a prophecy, only to find out years later that she was alive and well. Basically, the prophecy claimed that she would bring calamity to the seas that would forever change the future.

To put simply, part of the reason why the Harmonious Pearl Sea had a tumultuous history was in part because of a seal placed in the waters that basically cut them off from the rest of the world. One side wanted to maintain the status quo by keeping the seas isolated and under sort of an authoritarian control while the other side, notably the Ewalds, wanted to break the seal and allow the people to freely travel to the surface rather than keep living in a bubble of ignorance.

It was around that time when the young generation - Senne, Melle’s mother, and others - began rebelling in their own way, like secretly making contact with the surface and learning about life beyond the waters. In fact, that’s how Melle’s parents met, kind of by accident when her mother was hanging around the shore and literally bumped into her future husband while being taken in by the scenery. Although the master encouraged his daughter to explore more of the outside world, it did take him a while to warm up to the idea of her getting acquainted the people over there.

Coincidentally, Maaike was living in Fleurette as well, having been raised by her mother’s friend who fled the seas after rescuing Maaike from execution as a baby. So Maaike lived with her adoptive mother and siblings, Charissa and Lenn, spending most of her life unaware of her past until her birth father somehow found out and launched an attack on the village. Her adoptive mother revealed the truth and later sacrificed herself to ensure that her children were able to escape safely. After that, the former Thijmen head conduced a manhunt for Maaike, bringing trouble to the surrounding villages.

Around the time Maaike was discovered, Melle’s parents had just gotten married. Things got so bad that Antonia had to stay with her family and avoid contacting her husband so those like the former Thijmen head remained unaware that she established relationships with those living above the waters. And then the situation became even more difficult when Antonia realized she was pregnant with Melle, which would inevitably complicate things. Luckily the conflict ended before she was starting to show and certain people began getting suspicious.

Senne had long heard rumors about his half-sister and never agreed with his father’s reasoning that she didn’t deserve to be alive. He and Antonia were hoping to intervene before he could harm her, but things never worked out that way. A lot of things happened - Maaike was able to break the seal, Antonia reunited with her husband, and Senne was finally able to meet his sister and her adoptive siblings.

Although things have long settled down since then, there’s still a lot of loose ends that still need addressing. One of those loose ends has to do with Senne and Maaike’s relationship. Melle and her brothers became good friends with Maaike, Charissa, and Lenn, and she’s been trying to get them to come down here to visit, except every time they come up with plans, something comes up and they can’t make it.

Melle knows that Maaike means well and doesn’t mean to stall, but she gets why Senne gets the feeling that she might be subconsciously avoiding him. It’s not that they don’t get along - they haven’t known each other that well enough to even be considered acquaintances - more like there’s too much bad history with their family, so he doesn’t blame her if she decides not to keep in touch. As much as he wants to get to know his sister, he will also respect her wishes if she doesn’t feel the same.

Still, he can’t help but have regrets about how things were in the past even though it was completely out of his hands. At least things are different now and as long as Maaike’s happy, that’s good enough for him. Of course, Melle, Sara, Raiden, and Chelle aren’t satisfied with just that. Senne has always been a selfless person who doesn’t ask for much, always putting others before himself - is it so wrong for him to finally get something he wants more than anything for once? That’s Sara’s reasoning for why we need to find a way to get Senne and Maaike together.

After all, it’s been 20 years, and like it or not, time keeps moving forward, so you’d better not take it for granted. I know that she knows from her own life experiences that tomorrow isn’t always guaranteed, that when you least expect it, someone you always thought would stick around is suddenly no longer by your side anymore. That no matter how much time passes, you’ll still find yourself wishing that you’ve said this or done that while they were still alive. Having regrets may be an inevitable part of life, but that doesn’t mean you should let them pile up and weigh on your mind - we just have to make the most out of the present. Say what’s on your mind, take chances on your dreams, and learn not to let your worries get you down, and may the burdens of your regrets slowly fade away. That’s Sara’s life philosophy.

Although it doesn’t seem like it, Melle says Maaike does wants to see Senne again, but it really is just a matter of bad timing. This occasion was another instance of things just not working out at the last minute - she was all packed and ready to go, only to be called away in some faraway city. That’s the nature of adventurers, they can be hard to keep up with. But fret not, there’s a couple opportunities coming up that will hopefully work out. One is having Senne come up to Fleurette to see the baby. The second opportunity isn’t set in stone yet, though Melle’s confident that it’s happening in the near future, which is Maaike and Leo finally getting engaged. Hopefully something will work out and the siblings finally spend some quality time together.

On the subject of making the most of the time we have left, that seems to be a common theme with the people we’ve visited here. The friend Raiden went to see is a surviving Kohaku member, a former high ranking member named Kiyoto, known for his cloud breaking sword style. These days, he’s taking classes at a local community college while raising his daughter Mimina.

Like most sword fighters who join the Kohaku demon slayers, Kiyoto had a difficult upbringing due to various tragedies involving demons. He and his younger brother were the only survivors of an attacked that wiped out their family, and he managed to single-handedly slay the monsters who killed them. Then he and his brother were taken in by a senior Kohaku member who Kiyoto later succeeded as a high ranking member after he was killed in battle.

And like many with similar backstories, Kiyoto considered himself a lone wolf, or so he thought. First, there was his brother, who wanted to stand by his side, only for him to foolishly push him away - something he will continue to regret to this day. Second was Kanae, a renowned sword fighter known for creating the intoxicating nectar technique. He described their relationship like an insect in a garden surrounded by all kinds of flowers, but yet only drawn to one particular flower with the most unusual qualities.

Somehow, they fell in love, which caught everyone off guard considering how different they were with him being rough and somber and her being gentle and cheerful. Well, opposites do attract in some cases. Raiden was among the few who wasn’t too surprised by this turn of events, though she didn’t expect Kiyoto to be one falling heads over heels since it was Kanae who usually initiate things with her playful teasing.

The life of a swordfighting slayer is often grim and full of uncertainties, so it’s important to find something worth living for, like having someone to turn to who will catch you when you fall. I recall Lian saying that it was the close relationships between the members that makes the Kohaku different from other groups, and why they stood victorious in the end despite nearly being wiped out. They were a small group, but they were like a family, always looking out for one another, even willing to sacrifice themselves to ensure that their comrades have a better chance of survival.

Falling in love wasn’t something Kiyoto could have predicted, nor was becoming a father. While the Kohaku supported Kiyoto and Kanae’s their relationship wholeheartedly, they were understandably divided when Minima came into the picture. It wasn’t that they objected to the child, but they did see it as irresponsible for them to have and raise a child they’re likely to orphan, or worse, get killed by a monster. That’s not to say Minima was unwanted, she was unplanned all right, but her parents accepted the responsibility, as well as the possibility that they might not be able to see their child grow up.

Sadly, Kanae was killed in battle when Minima was a little over a year old, and Kiyoto closed himself up again. Then months later the Great Calamity happened and Kiyoto’s brother was one of the many casualties. At least by then, they were making up with each other. Kiyoto barely made it out alive himself and probably would have succumbed to his injuries if Kanae hadn’t smacked him, reminding him that there was a certain someone who needed looking after. Sometimes all it takes is a little push to turn the tide, and that’s how he pulled through.

These days, Kiyoto’s focused on Minima, who’s in preschool now. For now he’s doing odd jobs here and there, though his main priority right now is classes, which are all online. As for why he’s pursuing an education now, that was Lian’s idea, probably to open him up to more opportunities and set a good example for Minima. As for what he wants to study, that’s still up in the air, though he says there’s some things he’s interested in looking more into, like being a medical assistant, for example, since he used to assist Kanae and her sisters tend to the wounded. But it might bring up too many memories, so that’s why he’s on the fence about that.

Well, he doesn’t have to get everything figured out right away, not when there’s a lot on his mind already. Raiden’s happy that he’s doing all right, though she wishes that he keep in touch more often. The subject of Koyo and Yoshikane’s upcoming wedding also came up, and Kiyoto promises that he and Minima will make it. Hopefully he has a better track record than Maaike when it comes to keeping in touch.

Seeing the Ewalds come together for a special occasion - they’re such a huge family, I mean, the master’s got 7 daughters, plus their spouses, and soon to be 40 grandkids! - the atmosphere at the manor’s so warm and inviting. I see why Senne envies the master, and why he wants to bond with his sister - after all, even though you can’t undo the past, you can do something about the future.

I know it’s obvious, but it’s important to cherish the bonds you have and make the most of the time you have together.

Read on AO3

#animal crossing pocket camp #animal crossing #headcanon ramble #diary of a junebug

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calloustotender · 1 month

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i’ve realized very quickly—maybe too quickly, all things considered—that arizona feels something like a second home to me. i feel as comfortable here as i feel in nashville and i don’t know exactly what’s the cause, but i’m grateful for it. there are so few places in the world where i feel like i can exist comfortably, with my guard down.

the boys and i all agreed to take a break before flying to paris for the start of eras. zac and kayla went to new york. taylor and claudia to the smokey mountains, brian and his husband to…los angeles, i’m pretty sure. i was going to stay in nashville. i was so close to just spending time with jasmine and making sure everything at fruits and gdy were taken care of before being gone for an entire summer. i was gonna stay here, i swear.

but brian said to me: “your heart’s not in nashville, hayles.”

and i couldn’t really argue with that, could i?

so…i followed it to arizona.

we had a date to get done anyway, right? if i needed the excuse, it was that. but it turns out i didn’t need one, because he missed me like i missed him. his mama picked me up from the airport because he’s not clear to drive yet and that was…nerve wracking all by itself. jenny is lovely, but she sees right through me and i don’t think i like being seen that way. we caught up, little things. i could tell she was fighting a smile the entire time, though. you know the kinda smile from someone when they had a suspicion and they’re finally face to face with the reality that their suspicion was right?

yeah, that. it was that.

she knows.

oh, she knows.

but still, our date wasn’t real. we agreed it would be a pretend date. he’s still healing—his stitches are bothering him, his pain comes and goes, he’s still tired easily. my brain is still catching up to our current reality. none of this feels real to me yet and we’ve briefly talked about it. so…we agreed: pretend date for now. real date…soon. he said he knows we’ve been on dates before, but he wants the next one to be different. so we went out for lunch and we took the dogs to the park and he made sure i saw some palm trees and it was nice. it was comfortable. we still make each other laugh. the chemistry is still, somehow, there. maybe a little stronger? i’m nervous around him. i can’t look at him for too long without feeling like my heart is going to fucking obliterate my sternum. he held my hand on the walk and his fingers shook.

it’s still there.

but i’m staying at a hotel because we’re trying to take it slow. we know each other like the back of our hands, but we want to do this right. there’s a lot we have to work through, there’s a lot that i’m uneasy about. so…we’re giving each other space, and i’m thankful for it. i miss him when i leave, but i think the excitement of having to wait to see each other helps.

i’m sitting in his yard now, while he naps. i have a plate of raspberries and alf and murphy are playing in the grass. it’s warm and it smells like it’s gonna rain. i’ll probably go inside in a little to see what he wants for dinner…and i know his mama will probably stop by with something before he and i even have the chance to decide. and then—we’ll sit outside again, maybe with a guitar.

and it’ll be nice.

it’ll be peaceful.

#it’ll be everything i’ve wanted for the last year—longer?#my heart’s at peace

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jennyjourneys · 2 years

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Arc 1 - Chapter 6: A World of Me

Grandmother Ginger won’t see reason — which should perhaps not surprise us, given that Ginger and Jenny are still engaging in imagination-based symbolic warfare in a dream-world.

“I've brought you here for one reason, and one reason only. And neither of us is getting out of here until you give me what I want.”

“What's that?”

“My niece.”

I frown. I don't like where this is going.

“Aunt Ginger… your niece — the other Jenny — she's dead.”

“But you remember her. Don’t you? She lives in you. You can remember her into existence, here. So do it! Bring her back!”

“That’s not how it works, Aunt Ginger. I can't just bring her back from death. ”

"Yes, you can. And you will." There's something intense in her voice. Crackling energy is collecting around her hands. "You must."

“I can’t! It doesn’t work that way! I could summon something, but it wouldn’t be the real her—”

She screams and hurls a lightning bolt at me.

Instinctively, I raise my arm to block it. It bends to dodge it, and strikes my chest — I feel the electric current run through me. Blackness is crowding in from the edges of my vision.

But I don't give up.

This is a world of me. I'm only as weak as I choose to be. I'm what I choose to be. I absorb the idea of this lightning, make it a part of me, just for now. I see Aunt Ginger scrambling back as I hover in front of her on this empty plane, a being of pure energy — my scarf an arc of bright purple electricity coiling and uncoiling around me.

But she knows the rules, too.

“You think you're free here?” she taunts, choosing her world carefully. “You’re boxed in. A mind can be such a tiny place."

I see what she means, even though I try not to. I picture it.

Walls erect themselves around me.

Without missing a beat, I imagine a window.

I turn my gaze toward that window. Outside, an empty parking lot. Okay, good enough. I can see it clearly, everything so sharp and clear. I breathe in deeply — and shift myself to the other side of the window.

Ginger rushes to the window and bangs helplessly on the glass. Only, it's not glass. It's a panel of pure diamond, made of my determination. She shouts in fury and frustration, conjuring up flames and hurricanes to try, uselessly, to get through.

I calm myself. I center myself. I imagine the panel again, this time turning to water. I breathe out… and shift back.

Ginger is drenched from the water-window collapsing on her, and, rather like a wet cat, the energy seems to have drained right out of her. She lies on the floor, utterly defeated. I look down at her, a tiny wrinkly old woman in a white nightgown, her hair a mess, and it's hard to tell whether it's old age or stress or both that's made her skin so grey.

And for a moment, there is peace in this little room.

I close my eyes. I… breathe.

I can feel my body again. I can feel my limbs.

The world-of-me fades.

We're in the candy clearing again. I feel the key embedded in my forehead, and tear it out, a little angrily. It stings for a moment, then fades; when I rub the spot, there’s no wound. Westwind seems to pay us no mind: she’s sitting down by a campfire that wasn’t there before, her nose in a book. I wonder how long we were gone from her perspective. There are stars in the sky above — curious, multicoloured stars that almost look like bonbons.

“I’m so sorry, Aunt Ginger,” I tell the woman in the purple dress who is standing silently in front of me — crying. “Really. I am.”

“She lives!” Ginger moans, her knees wobbling. “She must. You’re right here! My own flesh and blood lives in you.”

“I have to go now,” I say, deciding as I speak. “I need to find the other me.”

Ginger blinks up at me, the tears halting in their tracks, as confused as the rest of her.

“What?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to bring your niece back,” I say, allowing myself a daring little smirk. “I said your idea wasn’t how it worked.”

Go to Arc 1 - Chapter 5 - Journey to the Centre of Jenny Everywhere

Go to Arc 1 - Chapter 7 - Rocket Witchcraft

#Arc 1 #Jenny Everywhere #AI Dungeon #Grandmother Ginger

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veethesnake · 2 years

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Fantastic Nature Reserve

Being a superhero can be great. It can be really damn awesome if you manage to score a partner who’s also a superhero. But sometimes it’s just a pain in the ass. For example, when you want to go on a honeymoon but that one alien army didn’t get the memo that the Avengers were busy celebrating a wedding and now you’re stuck negotiating peace offers with some purple creatures with ten arms and too many eyes. Wedding crashed, honeymoon cancelled. You’d think they could give you a day-long break to at least do the perfect wedding photoshoot of your dreams? Wrong. You have three hours and Natasha’s hand twitched a little too much around her knife when you noted that it may take a little longer. So. Three hours it is – camera team is ready on call, the Quinjet is currently in space (with Rhodey), and civilian aircrafts are ordered to stay grounded for the foreseeable future. Fantastic.

“I could take the suit. Fly us somewhere nice, get Dum-E to make some pictures, and we’ll be back in the blink of an eye.”

Steve doesn’t look amused. “We’re not doing the wedding shoot with the Iron Man suit. We agreed to tuxes only, no shield, no suit, no explosions.”

“You’re no fun. I can wear a suit under the suit, you know that, right?”

“And we’ll do it how exactly, with your hair all mussed up from being pressed on your head under the helmet?”

“I’ve looked worse for more formal occasions.” Steve stares at Tony. Okay, it’s more of a glare. “Okay, okay, no suit. What’s your idea? Photos in the Avengers common room?”

“Well, my dream of a romantic stroll through the forests of Savage Island are not coming true anytime soon.”

“I love how your idea of romantic includes dinosaurs. Actually, I was wondering about that – did you plan to sneak in the shield to take them down once they inevitably attack us during our after-shoot-picnic?”

“Shut up. As if you wouldn’t be thrilled to put on the suit to let of some steam after a boring photoshoot.”

“You’re such a hypocrite, you know that, right?”

“So, I was thinking maybe Central Park? We could get the shoot done in under three hours if Happy takes care of the paparazzi.”

Tony isn’t looking at Steve. “Barf.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “You know, you could give me a little more appreciation for actually trying.”

“No, no. B.A.R.F. Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing. We could do your Savage Land shoot in the training room, maybe take down some hologram dinosaurs and be back before Natasha decides to use us for target practice.”

For the @cap-ironman Universe Medley (MCU month) and Stony Bingo square “fantastic nature reserve”!

I have no idea if this counts. It didn’t occur to me until now that I maybe should have taken an actual real nature reserve. But I’m also not good at American geography so forgive me that I took the artistic liberty of deciding that Savage Land exists in the MCU and is also a nature reserve. It’s not like the artwork - which is my actual fill - shows what kind of nature reserve is in the background

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van-eazy · 2 years

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Hey so if I recall you said you lived in the UK for a while and were on PrEP during that time, I was just wondering, as someone who is completely new to sex, is it something I should consider? Is PrEP just if you're planning to not use condoms or is it good as a second precaution? Are there any side effects? And how would I go about getting it in the UK? Is it something I should just bring up with my GP?

Sorry to burden you with so many questions, you just seem like a reliable source of information on the topic

Fantastic question and absolutely not a burden whatsoever! First off, absolutely get on PrEP if you can! I believe it may be on the NHS in all of the UK now but I’m not 100% sure about England specifically as it was the last to adopt it.

Condoms are great but not as effective as PrEP to prevent the spread of HIV. Condoms are estimated to be about 90% effective while PrEP is 99% effective.

Additionally condoms are not as fun and you’ll find lots of guys who don’t want to use one. Many guys cannot maintain an erection wearing a condom. This isn’t just an excuse, it’s very real.

Whatever you decide is up to you but even if you have a condom with you doesn’t mean you will end up using it. There’s nothing wrong with having extra protection of condom and PrEP.

And never forget most of the anxiety over STI/STD is caused by culture. If you got gonorrhea or something similar it can be cured with antibiotics. Even if you became HIV+, your life would not be over, it would mean you would need to approach your health a little differently but most poz guys these days in the US or UK are undetectable which means they cannot transmit the virus to a person *not* on PrEP. And out of the many poz friends and poz dudes I’ve dated or fucked, if they hadn’t told me they were poz I never would have known. We’ve come a long way from the stereotype of the daily “medical cocktail.” Living with HIV is not something you want but just like needing corrective lenses isn’t something that anyone wants, but you live with it and you thrive just the same. There is no shame in HIV and being on PrEP additionally can give you extra peace of mind if you hook up with a poz guy or started to date a poz guy.

There are so many ways to protect yourself and sexual health is far more nuanced that condoms or not, PrEP or not.

I firmly believe all sexually active adults who aren’t in monogamous relationship should be on PrEP. Today, straight people are at higher risk for HIV because of gay men’s adoption of PrEP.

Using PrEP in first world nations and an HIV vaccine that is currently in testing in Africa and other poorer nations that cannot sustain PrEP usage could mean an end to HIV in our lifetime!

As for symptoms with PrEP, I’ve been on it since 2014 and trust me I’ve had my fair share of bareback sex with men of poz and neg statuses, as well as some who likely didn’t know their status. I have no symptoms now, but when it was new to PrEP I had headaches for a week that went away and I’ve never had them since.

Although things may have changed thanks to brexit, it has been legal for a long time to buy prescriptions drugs from Europe and have them mailed to you in the UK. It’s like £20-£45 for a 90 day supply, but that was an option many gay men used if they couldn’t get it on the NHS.

Check out this page here and another idea would be to chat with local guys on Grindr who have profiles that say they’re on PrEP! They might have good advice on how to get it locally.

You can definitely ask your GP but beware many of them don’t even know PrEP exists and sometimes they are not very sex positive and may caution you against. My own doctor told me in 2014 that she didn’t want me on it because it would make me sexually promiscuous, which, obviously wasn’t her place to pass that judgement.

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thelostwriterinthewoods · 3 years

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Till every star in the universe dies, and after

WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH. !!!!! A FORM OF SELF-HARM IS MENTIONED!!!

A/N: THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE UP FOR THE SAD ONE I POSTED YESTERDAY. A PART TWO TO MR.LOVERMAN.

Druig spent the rest of his existence alone. He left his commune in Thena’s capable hands not having the mental strength to run in it. In any free time he had his mind would look for yours. It broke his heart every time he was greeted with silence. So Druig move to New York City. The heavy populated city made it easy for him to overwhelm his mind so he couldn’t look for yours.

Every morning Druig would lay on the cold wooden floor of his brownstone listening to the busy minds of New York City. He listened to them till his mind reached a point of agony that Druig would simply loss consciousness. A painful process but one he would endure to see you. After the first attempt Druig learned that he saw you in his dreams.

He would wake up with his head in your lap, massaging his temples like you used to when his head would start to ache. This remined the same in every dream so he was surprised to see you in different clothing. Your hair was shorter, and you wore a wonderful orange color to match the fire you welded in life.” Oh my Druig,” you whispered to him rubbing circles on his cheeks. Druig missed the sound of your voice.

As the two of you stared into each others eyes Druig began to noticed he felt different. Or how he didn’t feel different, Druig felt normal again. His heart felt whole again, like a giant stone has been lifted off his chest. He could breathe again, feel again. Why did he feel like his old self when you were still dead?

“ It’s cause you’re dead too My Druig,” you answered reading the confused look on his face.

‘Finally’ He thought.

” I should hit you for thinking that but I’ve missed you too damn much.” Druig smiles at you then a thought goes through his mind. If your here than there is a good chance Ajak is here. Then he might be here.

“ Ajak is here but she wanted to give us some time alone. Ikairs on the other hand is currently missing. After I burned half of his face he dashed off and I havent seen him since.” Druig relaxed a little bit more knowing that you took care of that bastard. If Ikaris didn’t kill himself he would killed him for murdering you.

While Druig was still thinking about murdering Ikaris you were thinking about him. It was nice seeing Druig in his dreams. Being able to talk to him, to feel him in your arms it made you happy. Although now that he’s here with you, it doesn’t just doesn’t feel right. You felt as if it was your fault he ended up here. Maybe you shouldn’t have visited him in his dreams. Maybe if you hadn’t he would still be alive with everyone else. Refocusing his attention back on you Druig study your facial expression.

And judging by the mournful look on your face Druig could tell you were blame yourself. So he decided to speak ” I did this to myself, my love. Living without you is...was something I couldn’t do. I wanted nothing more than to be here with you, and now that I am I feel nothing but peace.” He smiles moving from your grasp so that he’s on his knees in front of you.

” This is yours,” reaching into his pocket Druig took out your wedding ring. It was heavy with his grief anymore but light with all the love he has for you.

You put your hand out letting Druig slide the ring back on “ Till every star in the universe dies and after?” he raises a brow proposing to you again.

You lace your hand with Druig’s beaming at him with so much love “ Till every star in the universe dies and after.”

#eternals #druig imagine #druig eternals #mywork #sersi #phastos #makkari #eternals imagine #ajak

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remosdeerica · 3 years

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Batshit AU Pt #2: The Grandkids

So I mentioned in the last post Batshit AU Pt. #1 that I cover Dick and Jason's kids but since I've been thinking (read: fantasizing) about the future of the Batfam I figured I'd just do a post with ALL the grandkids!

Just a heads up: this is a LONG post.

First we shall start with the Grayson's:

Mar'i and Jake (Jake is not my original name I've seen it pop up in other media- dunno if it's canon in any timeline but I'm going with it).

Mar'i Grayson: Mar'i is the biologically daughter of Dick Grayson and Koriand'r of Tamaran (aka Starfire). Kori is unknowingly pregnant after one last one-night-stand with Dick before going back to her home planet to take over as queen. Unfortunately, because of Kori's sister Komand'r (aka Blackfire) causing civil unrest to try and usurp the thorn from her, Tamaran becomes unsafe for Mar'i as she is Kori's only heir.

-Kor'i goes back to Earth with an infant Mar'i and begrudgingly hands her over to Dick so she can live with him and be safe from Blackfire.

-Kori of course visits while she can but has a lot of responsibilities on Tamaran. When Mar'i is older she is able to go back to Tamaran to visit her mother.

-A few years later when Dick and Barbra get married, Barbra officially adopts Mar'i. Seeing both Kor'i and Barbra as her mothers Mar'i decides so call Kori "Mama" and Barbra "Mom/Mommy".

Jake Grayson: don't have much of an exciting backstory for him. He was basically just an orphaned infant Dick and Barbra decided to adopt after his bio-parents had been murdered.

Now he have the Todd family:

Because I am a heartless monster I decided that since Roy died in the comics without any sign of Lian and Jason was pretty fucked up about it, I would have Jason adopt Lian because Roy wasn't round to take care of her. So this is basically what happened:

Lain Harper-Todd: 1 year or so after Roy's death, Jason is visited by Jade Nguyen (aka Cheshire) who is carrying an infant Lian. Jade explains that she hadn't realised she was pregnant with Roy's child until after he was already dead and since she is not ready to give up her life as an assassin she states that Lian is better off without her. She then asks Jason if he would be willing to take Lian in as Roy's former partner (read into that how you will).

-Jason agrees, and decides to hyphenate her last name Harper-Todd so that she will always have a piece of Roy with her even if he can't be there for her in person.

it's not that I don't think JayRoy is cute! It's just that I honestly I don't really picture Jason dating anyone in my mind and the thought of him being a single dad is just precious. I'm also allergic to OC's (of my own making) so I usually try to keep to characters that are at least canon in some timeline and Lian was the first to come to mind.

Also I'm a angst-hungry monster so...

Drake-Wayne/Dowd/McGinnis household:

Lol, this family has too many names.

I already went over Terry and Matthew McGinnis' backstory in Batshit AU Pt. #1 but if you are too lazy/ don't feel like reading it I'll try to make sure to cover the important details.

Terry & Matthew McGinnis: A few years down the road, Tim is the current Batman and married to Bernard Dowd (my new fave batship). One night on patrol he finds the boys hunkered down behind an garbage container and approaches them.

-Terry is extremely protective of his younger brother Matt and becomes immediately aggressive, swinging a baseball around and threatening Tim to leave them alone.

-Tim finds it admirable/endearing that Terry is willing to face Batman alone in order to protect his brother and tells him so. He then asks them where there parents and and Matt (trusting Batman) tells Tim that they were killed by the 'Bad Men' who are now looking for he and Tarry.

-Tim is worried for the boys safety and offers to take them to the Police, but Tarry only says that they already tried that and that there are spies in the GCPD who ratted them out to the 'Bad Men'.

-Tim figures out that the boys are in more danger then he first realized and takes them home with him in order to protect them.

-Tim eventually finds out about Project Batman Beyond, an experiment orchestrated by A.R.G.U.S. in order to create the perfect child to usurp the Cowl and give A.R.G.U.S and 'in' with the Justice League and the super-community as a whole. A part of this project is making sure the children are biologically Bruce Wayne's in order for them to also gain influence over Wayne Enterprises.

-Tim realizes that there is no real safe place that he can send the boys and after discussing it with his husband, Bernard, the two decide to adopt the boys.

I think this adoption story is one of my favourites. Especially because I find the idea of Bernard not at all being surprised by his husband brining home black-haired blue-eyes orphans, hilarious.

Bernard: I figured since you are now Batman it was only a matter of time.

Tim: >:(

Wayne-Kent situation:

DamiJon is one of my absolute favourite ships in existence. But since both boys are so young in canon my version of their future relationship truly is creature of my own design, I will explain them a little and then the kids. I'll be quick about it. Promise. (There is also a 2 part series I'm working on that goes into my version of events called "Jon and Damian" if anyone is interested. Jon's chapter is done but Damian's is still in the works).

Jon: he is the one that I really have to explain. I call my version of him "Dark-ish Jon" or 'dark ish jon' for the tags. For those of you who already know the deal (or don't really care) y'all can skip to the *** for the kids.

-basically Jon was kidnapped by Jon-El (Clark's Kryptonian Bio-dad) in order for Jor-El to mold Jon into the perfect weapon for his plan to conquer the universe. They have a machine that Jumps through various timelines so no one can find them, and Jon-El trains/tortures Jon for 2 years.

-Jon eventually discovers new powers that allow him to kill Jor-El and escape but he ends up spending the next several years trying to find his original timeline.

-He eventually meets the Legion of Superheroes that help him get home, but once he arrives home he realizes that for him it has been 7 years since he was kidnaped, but only 2 weeks for his family/friends.

-Because of this he and his family find it hard to adjust to the new situation and Jon ultimately decides to return to the Legion but visit occasionally.

Damian: Honestly I don't think I really have to explain much about Damian for y'all to get the kids but I do want you to know:

He has long hair

He has peirced ears

Possibly tattoos?

He's has more of a slim figure than Bruce's bulky one

He is a fashion icon and kinda has 'bitchy white girl' energy

Bacically he very pretty and looks a LOT like Thalia

And yeah. The two eventually reconcile after Jon is done moping in another timeline and they decide to retire from crime fighting and build a cottage/farm and live in peace.

***

Athanasia: So she is actually Bruce's bio-kid from the Injustice timeline. And for my AU she is still Bruce's biologically and she does recognize him as her father, but because she and Damian are 13/14 years apart and she knows him better she lives and defers to him as her caretaker. I shall explain:

-Athanasia was created by Thalia in a fit of madness after Damian's death. Because of what happened to Damian, and because Athanasia turned out to be a girl (and therefor Ra's would have no use for her), Thalia keeps the little girl locked away and a secret so that no one can harm her.

-Years pass and Athanasia has never seen the outside would. Eventually something happens (will depends on the Fic -because I will get around to writing this shit eventually) and Athanasia is given to Damian (the only other person Thalia ever told her about.)

-At this point Bruce is getting older and most of his current children already have their own kids, so both he and Damian agree that because Athanasia is mostly attached to Damian and doesn't really know who Bruce is outside of being her father, that she will live with he and Jon.

-Athanasia get's older and eventually meets another girl at her school named Carrie Kelley. The girls form a quick bond, Carrie's louder personality complementing Athanasia's more quiet one.

Carrie Kelley: being best friends with Athanasia leads to Carrie spending a lot of time over at her house. This allows Jon and Damian to get to know the girl and become quite fond of her.

-one night after a sleepover at Jon and Damian's house with some of their other friends, Carrie's father comes to the house drunk and carrying a shot gun. He accuses Jon and Damian of being pedophiles because of their sexual orientations and calls them a variety of homophobic slurs.

-It's his attempts at shooting Jon that leads to Carrie calling 911 and having her own father arrested.

-Because her mother had already left and Carrie only had her dad to take care of her, Jon and Damian offer her a place in their home and eventually adopt her along with Athanasia when the girls are teenagers.

So, yeah! That's it for now. I am absolutely obsesses with this AU. I just love the idea of Bruce deciding to take in Dick leading to him having an army of children and grandchildren so large that all family gatherings have to happen at the Manor because nowhere else is big enough.

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checkingoutforheroes · 3 years

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B.A.B.Y PROTOCOL.

Part 2.

Avengers x fem!reader

Pt.1

Words: 1892

Synopsis: This takes place in Avengers: Age of Ultron. When The Avengers were at the rock bottom, Nick Fury and advised by Maria Hill, to initiate the B.A.B.Y Protocol. Will a young, damaged and broke girl agree to this initiative and help a team to save this planet earth?

Main Masterlist

Maria and Fury bring you to The Avengers tower for mission briefing and meet the rest of the team. To be honest, you are beyond excited you see the building. You move from your seat to another, looking out of the window, facing the tower. Maria looks at you at the rear view mirror, seeing your awe face and smile. “If you open that window, I might’ve mistaken you with a dog.” You ignore her comment and ask them “Is this S.H.I.E.L.D? You guys work here? You build this place papa Bear? This is taller than I thought it would be!”

Fury look at you and then Maria “Now she’s excited.” Maria answer your question. “That is Avengers tower. S.H.I.E.L.D no longer exist. Burn to the ground.” You didn’t keep up about them after left the agency so you don’t know what happened. “What happened? Did this moody papa Bear show his emotion through action?” You let out a small laugh until Fury annoyed “Once again you call my name other than Fury, I’ll burn you too.” “Nahh, you’re not going to burn me. You need me. Otherwise, I’m not in this car right now. I said to him and Maria drive through the parking basement. “She got you, boss.”

Fury walk ahead to their meeting room. You stop your track when you see an aquarium placed at the wall. You never see something like that before in your life. When Maria realize that you are not walking behind her, she turns back to get you. “What are you doing?” “Looking at these fish in an aquarium stuck on the wall. How they do that? How they going to feed the fish? Rich people shit, quite awesome.” You said and Maria just shake her head. “We have a world crisis and the first thing you did is watch the fish?! Are you kidding me? Let’s go meat the team.”

Meanwhile Fury already told the team about a new protocol or whatever. You didn’t hear that clearly until you are inside the room. Fury talk to them. “Since all of you are here, including Maximoff, I have a new protocol that you can use.” Steve looking confusing at Fury. “We already made a plan.” Tony interrupt to teasing Steve “Yeah and a good ted talk by the captain too.” Natasha asking about the protocol. “Do we know about the protocol?” Fury take a seat “No, Romanoff. No one knows about this protocol except Agent Hill. This protocol was created to help the team when in need, and this team clearly need it right now.” Steve ask him. “What protocol is that?” Natasha looking at Clint and he shrug. “B.A.B.Y PROTOCOL.” Tony just laugh while Steve have a serious face looking at him. “I’m sorry. That’s kinda funny name for a protocol.” Maria open the door and you both going in. All eyes on you and you feeling slightly nervous. How can you not, they are The Avengers! You recognize all of their face except one person wearing black dress and red cardigan.

Fury introduce you to the team. “Right on time. Avengers, I introduce you B.A.B.Y PROTOCOL, as in Best Associate By Yours truly.” Maria added “Also, we call her Baby.” They are quiet and shock appear in their faces except two people. Natasha and Clint. They go greet you. “Baby!” Natasha walks to hug you while Tony look at you two weird. “Nat! Omg, I miss you. Clint! Miss you too!” You hug Clint and he hold your head. “Well, she grows up.” “Yeah, with some food and water, I did. Man, you’re old.” You said to him and Natasha smile “Kids growing, Barton.” “Natasha, beautiful as always. You have to drop your skin care routine, sis.” Tony interrupt the moment “You both knew her? Fury, you said no one know about this protocol.” Fury nods. “I said no one know about this protocol not that Romanoff and Barton didn’t know her.”

Steve starts asking question. “How old are you?” Tony interject again. “Yeah. You don’t look like a baby to me.”

You looking back at Steve, smirk on your face. “How old are you?” Maria sign you to behave. “Baby.” Tony sit down at one of the chair. “I like this kid already!” He earns a glare from Steve and you apologizing “I’m sorry. That’s not a good first impression. I’m 22.”

“What is your name?” Damn he is a serious one.

“People call me Baby.”

“What people didn’t call you?”

“If they didn’t call me? Silence, I guess.” You whisper at Natasha left ear “Can I not tell them my name?” She crooks a little smile. “It’s up to you.” “I prefer being call by that name that Maria & Fury has told you or anything you want except my real name due to personal reason.” You nod and smile at them.

“Why? Dark past? Major criminal? Wanted by CIA? Interpol? MI6? Ugly name? Kicked out of family or something?” Seriously, how can they work as a team with a guy name Tony Stark? Maria, Natasha and Clint have your back.

“She’s here to help us. Nothing else, Stark.” Maria said to him.

Natasha glare at him. “I suggest you stop right there or you’re not going to see any sunlight.”

Clint agree with them. “Leave her alone man.” Tony look guilty. “Everybody in this room has dark past. I’m just curious, not judging. She’s not alone.” Wanda tell them that he told the truth. “He’s not lying.” “Thank you Wendy. Peace?” You walking toward him “No heart feeling.” You guys fist bump each other.

Steve ask again. “How do you know Barton and Romanoff?”

“While I was in S.H.I.E.L.D Academy, which I thought a Juvenile school at first, they trained me combat espionage. Since that’s the only thing on my expertise. I wish to have Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz brain though. They’re genius in bio-chem and engerneering.”

“Why you thought it was juvenile at first? You commit crime?”

“Duh.” Both you and Tony said it at the same time and again “JINX!” Natasha look at Steve. “Relax captain, all of us commit crime back then.” “I didn’t” Tony look at him. “Are you sure about that?” “What do you mean Stark?” Steve ask and he say “You literally cheated your medical checkup to join the army.” “I did it to protect our country.” Steve said and Clint chuckle “Still crime.” Fury tell Maria to handle the briefing and he’s out. You ask where is he going? “Where is he going?” “He have another thing to do Baby.”

“I know most of you but I don’t think I know or seen you, Mr. ?” You ask and Natasha introduce him. “That is Dr. Bruce Banner.”

You shake his hand. “Nice to meet you. What did you do?”

Bruce seems like to hesitate to answer that. “You didn’t know? New York?”

“Alien? Chitauri?” You ask him back innocently.

“Um. I’m, the big green guy.” He anxiously answers that.

“An ogre! Wow, that is so cool!” Clint hold my shoulder. “The other green, buddy.” “Oh, I know. I’m sorry, I forgot your ogre name is Shrek. Still cool though. I watch all of his movies when I was a kid. Maybe we can watch it again sometimes.”

Bruce look at Natasha and then back at you. “That’s, not me either, but yeah, we can watch that, big green cartoon sometimes.” Tony finally tell you who he is. “You seriously don’t remember who broke New York kid? He’s The Hulk!” Bruce looks down and tilt his head to look at Tony. “Yes. I’m that! Thank you for bringing back memory, Tony!”

You feel guilty for not remember that. “Gosh, I’m so sorry. But hey, New York already broken before you broke it. Can I have a selfie? You’re incredible.” You snap the picture before he even answers. Tony said something “I’m literally right here. The coolest guy in the group.” You turn your head to the girl in black dress, red cardigan. “And you are?”

She answers with a thick accent “Wanda Maximoff.”

“You’re not from here? You have an accent just like Nat. Well, once she’s mad at me during training years ago.” You remember the detail and Natasha rolls her eyes at you. “That is one time. I slipped.” “Human make mistakes sis. You aren’t machine.”

“I just got here yesterday. I made a mistake. Wrong judgement, I want to make it right. I join them.” She explains and you currently melting, just to hear he talk. You want her to talk more so you can hear her talk. Thing is, you didn’t know that she can read mind. Where is that accent came from? Russian? You ask those questions in your head. “From Sokovia.”

“Where are you from? What? I just ask-“

Maria answer my question. “She’s a telekinesis, energy manipulation and some kind of neuroelectric interfacing.” “Huh?” You don’t even know what that is and Maria make it simple for you. “Telepathic.” You turn to look back at her. “That is so awesome!” Tony huff at your statement. “Yeah, until she’s in your head.” She just looking down “I’m sorry.”

Right after she said that, Thor, God of Thunder walk into the room and tell about the scepter. You are amazed and suddenly you bend the knee. “Oh. My. God. You’re Thor!” He looks back at you. “and you tiny female human.” “You. Are. the God of Lightning! I am a fan! No. I’m an air-conditioner.” He smiling, feeling proud. “Thank you, tiny human lady. It’s God of Thunder, actually. What’s an air-conditioner?”

Maria gives us final brief. “You guys might want to prepare something for tomorrow. We’re flying to Korea and find Dr. Chow tomorrow morning. Get some rest, sleep early, you guys need it.”

You ask them a question. “Can I go back to my place, then come back? Clint can you take me?” “Yeah, I can.” Steve kind of not agree with you. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Why? I need to take my stuff.” “I can pick her up tomorrow.” You and Clint said and Steve ask you again. “Do you have a suit? or uniform?” You unzip your sweater and show your Donut Do It uniform. “Will, this do? Because someone decided that it was okay to give a surprise visit when I’m on my way to work.” Maria just smirking at you and Natasha smile “I don’t think that appropriate gear for the field.”

Tony offers you to stay with them at the tower. “Captain’s right. Don’t want to risk anything on the team member night before fight. Stay here, I’ve got plenty of room. Natasha can show you. They basically live here. We have spare shirts too.” You look at Wanda “You live here too?” She’s thinking about the answer. “I spend the night here.” Natasha turn you to look at her. “That’s a good idea. Just stay here tonight. Wanda’s here too.” “Natasha can show you your room, take a shower and dinner later.” Tony said. You look at Maria by the mention of dinner. She sighs “Okay, spaghetti and chicken wings.” Natasha add “And caramel pudding?” You smile at her “You remember?!” “Of course I do.” Clint jokingly say “How can she not, you guys practically sisters.”

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Thank you for spending your time reading this. Feel free to reblog or ask me anything, thank you in advance!

Part 3 is coming!

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absolutebl · 3 years

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This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.)

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow.

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day.

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story.

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan.

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have...

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here.

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL.

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger.

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution. * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad?

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count).

Gossip - Thai BL

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail.

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking),

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked),

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories).

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay...

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good.

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch.

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun.

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?)

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow.

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA...

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU!

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three.

Breaking News

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates)

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer.

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations.

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual.

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

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neonacity · 3 years

Text

HYACINTHE | CHAPTER 4: JAEMIN X READER

SUMMARY:

Na Jaemin is far from being your typical 20 year old. Instead of slaving through college, he wastes away his hours cracking safes. Weekends that should be spent partying with friends consist of illegal races on good days and small scale bombings on bad ones.

Na Jaemin is far from being average, unless you consider being a member of Seoul’s top organized crime family normal. There is no such thing as a sense of normality and peace in his trainwreck of a life, so when he met a barista who was brave enough to call out his dangerous taste in coffee, he was like a moth to the flame. Everything about her is normal, which means she is forbidden to him, in all sense of the word. So why, then, does he always find himself at the front steps of her shop, breaking all his personal rules even if he wishes he could stay away?

A/N + Disclaimer: this is a side story to Black Daisies, my main mafia fic feat. 0T23. While the plot is based on the main story, this can also be read as a standalone fic. As usual, this is purely a work of fiction and in no way am I implying any member of NCT to behave the way I write them here.

TW: crimes, heists, potential death, mentions of drugs and other illegal activities.

PAIRING: Jaemin x Reader

CHAPTER 1 / CHAPTER 2 / CHAPTER 3 /

FIC TRAILER

MASTERLIST

"Hi. Can I have one iced americano, no sugar, with an espresso shot, please?"

My hands froze and hovered momentarily on the drink I was preparing as I heard a male voice say that from the counter. I didn't turn around to check who it was, but my boss—who is currently helping me man the cafe today—was quick enough to dash the pit-pattering of my chest. He hooked the order slip on the board in front of me and my eyes immediately raised to read the name there.

"One to-go, americano for Youngho."

I sighed internally. Whether it be from relief or disappointment though, I don't really know. A part of me wanted to be in denial of my emotions, but I realized you can only go so far if the person you are trying to fool is just yourself.

It's been almost three months since that night that I last saw Jaemin. I wish I didn't know the exact number of days that passed since then, but I do and I couldn't help it. Every little detail of what happened was still marked fresh in my mind, especially the feeling of hollowness that exploded in my chest when I woke up that morning to see them gone.

If not for the chip on the edge of the table left by Jeno as he tried to hold a half delirious Haechan down that night, I could have easily brushed off everything as a fleeting dream. But it isn't. It is a nightmare, at least in my part.

He really meant it when he said he would leave me alone.

There were no calls, no messages, no visits, nothing. It was like he didn't exist at all, the past year spent with him nothing but an imagined illusion.

We were back to being strangers again, exactly like how he wants to. If you think about it, it's selfless of him to do this, but I hate it. I hate it with everything I have.

Why? Because now I have to live through the feeling that I'm the only one suffering from all of that has happened. I couldn't watch the news anymore without thinking about him. For heaven's sake, I couldn't even get an iced coffee order without freezing like a statue because I remember him. I hate it. I hate every single moment without him, as much as I didn't want to admit it.

I placed the plastic cover over the finished drink with a soft sigh before turning to hand it over to the customer. At least I can still manage to put out my well-practiced, service smile.

"Iced Americano for Youngho," I called out into the receiving area as I slipped a straw on the cup sleeve. A tall man looked up and walked over to me to receive it.

"Thank you for coming to Brick and Beans. I hope you visit us again soon," I said in autopilot, my words so well-rehearsed that I didn't even have to think through while delivering them. The customer smiled at me before giving me a wink.

"I sure will. Thanks for this, sweet cheeks." He turned and left the shop, leaving me slightly confused.

My attention was then called by my boss who had just finished wiping down the counter. The man—who really has been more of a father figure than an employer for me—gave me a warm smile and motioned me over.

"Can we talk? I have something to tell you."

I briefly glanced at the clock. It isn't my break time yet, but the store is empty so I guess it will be fine. I shrugged.

"Sure."

"Grab a cake for you and me while you're at it," he nodded towards the pastry fridge before walking towards the nearest empty table. I wordlessly took two slices of basque cheesecake, his favorite, before following him. The man has a mean sweet tooth and we both know it.

He was silent for a little bit as he took the fork to take a bite of his treat. I waited patiently for him to speak, hands politely folded over my lap.

"I'm going to sell the cafe."

I blinked and stared. I wasn't expecting that at all.

"You're… what?"

He sighed and leaned back against his seat. He looked a little sad over what he just said but he managed to offer me a small smile.

"I'm getting older. You know how much I love this place because I started it with my late wife, but I really can't continue to manage it anymore. My children, unfortunately, do not have any plans of continuing the business. And they've been asking me to retire, too."

I nodded slowly, taking the news bit by bit.

"Do you already have a buyer, ahjussi?"

"I do. It is kind of strange, actually. Someone offered to buy off the franchise at such a perfect time. And for a very good price, too."

That made me smile. I've had this job ever since I started college so it makes me a little sad that it's going to have a new owner, but I really am happy for him. I just hope whoever buys it off takes care of it really well. The old man loves this place to bits.

I felt him take a hold of my hands from across the table. I looked up and was met with a fatherly smile.

"Don't worry. You won't lose your job. The new owners said that they aren't planning to change anything here and I told them that they had to take you with them."

That made me almost want to burst into tears. I squeezed his hand back in return.

"Ahjussi... You didn't have to do that. I can always look for another job." Who am I kidding? I know it will be hard for me to land another sideline especially with all the financial hiccups I am already dealing with so this is really sending me over to the edge of tears.

"Nonsense. You are part of this business. You've done so much for this place so you deserve this. Don't worry, they said yes to my condition."

I gave his hands another squeeze and he answered back with a fatherly pat.

"Thank you…"

"You're welcome. Just promise me, when you become a doctor, you'll give me free checkups, okay?"

"No, I won't. Because you will always be healthy and won't need my help at all," I said with a wrinkle of my nose.

That sent the two of us laughing.

"When will the new owners take over?"

"By the end of the month," my eyes rounded with surprise and he nodded in understanding. "I know, I know. It really happened too fast. I can't turn down the offer though. To be honest it was way beyond what the business is worth."

I sighed. "Well… as long as you are sure about them."

"I am. For now, I'll be here for a bit with you. I just need to enjoy my last days here. So just don't mind your old man, okay?"

I grinned.

"Only if you promise to give me a free cake every day you are here."

He reached out to ruffle my hair.

"Deal."

----

It was a slow day at the cafe so my boss decided to turn down the jazz music that usually floats from the speakers in lieu of the television volume. It was an odd hour in the afternoon and I found myself smiling as I watched him flip the channels over to look for a good show to watch while I dried some mugs. Just then, the overhead bell on the door dinged, welcoming with it a pair of uni-looking kids.

My boss looked over, but I was quick to jump to action instead. "I'll take care of it," I mouthed to him, to which he gave me a smile before turning his attention back to what he was doing.

"Hi. Welcome to Brick and Beans. What can I offer you today?"

"We'll have one dirty chai latte and one irish coffee over ice. Make it to go. "

The couple offered their names and I nodded as I punched their orders on my POS. "Would you like some pastries to go with that?"

"No, that's all."

"Got it, you can wait over there to the side. I'll have your drinks with you shortly," I said with a smile. The girl pulled the boy over into the receiving area to continue their conversation.

"So what I'm saying is, we gotta go. Tonight is going to be epic. The bets will be high for sure. We can get some mean cash if we put it in the right car."

The other gave a soft snort and started drumming his fingers against the wood of the counter. I let their conversation act as white noise while I worked behind the bar.

"I don't know. You're not even sure who is going to be there."

"Jeno is in the line-up. That at least is confirmed."

I dropped the metal scooper I was using on the floor with a resounding clang.

The three others in the room looked over to me as I hurriedly picked it up with shaking hands. I gave all parties a sheepish look before turning on my back to continue what I was doing.

This time, I was full-on listening.

"If Jeno's going to be there, then it is a goner. There's no chance for others. It'll be full-on suicide," the boy said thoughtfully. The girl, however, shrugged in reply.

"They said the others might come, too. You know, to make the run a little bit more balanced," she offered.

"You mean the seven?"

"The Four, at least."

"Oh shit."

"Uh-huh. So I'm telling you, we gotta be there man. If we can't bet then fine, but we have to see it. It’s been ages since they actually went on lane."

I didn't really know how I managed to finish what I was doing, not with how hard my heart was beating in my chest. I'm not sure how many Jeno's there are in this part of town, but I am sure as hell that there is only one who is a member of a seven-piece 'group.'

"Here's your order," I said thinly as I pushed the finished drinks over to them by the counter. The boy offered his card and I took it quickly, all the while thinking of what I should do next. The few seconds of me typing away at the terminal was the longest quarter minute of my life.

"Here's your receipt. Thank you for coming and see us again," I said, my voice a little weaker than usual. The couple gave a quick bow before turning to leave, drinks in hand.

There are two ways this could go. I could let them out of that door and have my only possible chance of getting in contact with any of the boys leave with them. Or I could call after them and…

I whipped around to call out to my boss, my figure already halfway out from the bar.

"Ahjussi, I'll be back in five minutes, sorry. I promise I'll be quick!"

He had barely looked up when I started running out the door.

-----

"Excuse me!"

The duo looked back at me, then at each other in confusion as I tried my best to hurry up to them without landing on my face. God, why do they walk so fast? They were just a few seconds ahead when they left the shop! Thankfully, they stopped at my call, giving me a chance to skid before them as I tried to catch my breath.

"Um… Is there a problem? We paid, right?" The boy asked me with an odd look. I waved my hand before finally trying to answer.

"Yes. I uh—"

Well, I obviously didn't plan this out clearly. How do I say this now without sounding like a lunatic?

"I heard your conversation earlier. You were talking about Jeno."

The pair exchanged glances again, this time tinged with suspicion. It was the girl who answered this time.

"Yes, we were. What about it?"

"I… I just want—to maybe know where he is? You were talking about tonight's—"

"The drag race?"

I stopped for half a heartbeat before nodding.

"Yeah. The race. I wanted to come, too, but I don't really know the address."

The boy cocked his brow at me in blatant suspicion. It took all of me to pull out all the basics I learned from drama class back in high school to remain calm before his withering glare.

"You know Jeno but don't know the address? That doesn't make any sense," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If you've been in one before you should have been included in the text blast."

Oh shit.

I could feel my palms growing cold from nervousness. Still, I tried pushing on.

"W-well, I was invited before by one of them. But then things fell apart and I started not getting any of the...texts anymore," I said, not having the slightest idea of what I am saying myself. What's ironic though was that what I just blurted out was sort of a half-truth, too.

Apparently—and miraculously—it also made sense by the look of understanding that dawned on their faces.

"I see…" the girl trailed off. She cleared her throat and looked at her friend before glancing at me again.

"Look, I can give you the address, but promise me that you never got it from me when someone asks, okay?" She asked. The boy looked at her incredulously.

"Are you crazy? She was already shadow banned!"

She shushed him and waved her hand off to shut him up. "Look, this is a girl thing. Don't mess with it. Just go ahead to the car, I'll take care of it."

He scoffed but stalked off towards the direction of the parking lot.

She turned towards me again and pulled her phone from the pocket of her leather jacket. I watched as she unlocked the screen before showing it to me.

"Do you have your phone with ya? Here, take a photo of this address."

I swear I could almost kiss her. I scrambled to get my phone from my back pocket and didn't waste another second to take a snap of her screen.

"Thank you so much."

She nodded in understanding before locking her phone again and shoving it into her pocket. "Hey, a girl's gotta stand up for another. Who was it? Was it Haechan?"

"Um…"

She didn't wait for me to finish.

"Really, whoever it is among them, I can't really blame you. They're all cute, but they do need to be taken down a notch when it comes to girls. Those boys," she tsked. "Dangerous."

Oh…

Oh. She thought I was an ex-fling who wanted to teach one of them a lesson by crashing the race. I let that sink in before a frown settled on my features.

Well, aren't you one? The devil on my shoulder cackled at me sardonically.

"Glad to have helped though. But remember, you didn't get it from me, okay?"

With a wink, she strutted off, leaving me staring at her retreating form.

----

I told myself I simply wanted to see him again.

I reminded myself that for the hundredth time tonight as I parked my car on a free space by a gravel road, my eyes roaming the darkness beyond. The place looked deserted, and I had to do one last check if I really put in the right coordinates on my map before finally turning off my engine. The road beyond was wide but uncemented and to its left is a half unfinished building with metal banisters reaching out to the sky like skeletal arms. I swallowed. Every little thing about the space beyond screams danger.

Which probably means I am in the right place.

I reached out to zip up my jacket and pulled the hoodie over my head before getting out of my car. My sneakers crunched on the gravel as I made my way towards a low wall circling the building beyond.

Just try and take a look. You don't have to talk to him. You can keep your distance.

I repeated that in my head again and again as I approached what I assume to be the entrance. A part of me still wants to berate myself for doing this but I am too far gone to try and play the denial game again. I want, no, I need to see Jaemin's world.

The moment I passed through a crack on the wall, it felt like I stepped into a different world. It opened up into an even wider area, the shadows of a multi-lane road behind the abandoned building beyond. Milling around is a throng of people, some smoking, others sipping on red cups on their hands. Some cars were parked against the wall I just passed, their headlights on with music booming out of their rolled down windows.

I tried to swallow the lump on my throat as I looked around. Already, I felt out of place in the crowd, but I steeled myself to push on, my hands digging deeper into the pockets of my jacket.

"Hey."

I looked up to see a boy around my age wave at me. He was also holding a red cup and what looked like a bundle of paper. My eyes widened as that came into focus when he got closer.

Money.

Wads and wads of cash.

"You put your bets already?" He asked as he stuffed the bills into a small belt bag hidden beneath his oversized shirt. He pulled his phone out then, unlocked the screen, and looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"Uh…"

He gave me an odd look.

"Who are you betting on?" He asked again.

I gave the first name I could only think of.

"Ja-Jaemin," I stuttered.

That earned me a low whistle from him as he typed away at his phone, probably to record my choice of 'player.' "I don't know, man. Dude seems pretty out of it lately, but whatever floats your boat." He stuck out his hand to me then, and it took me a few seconds to realize what he was asking for.

"Oh," I scrambled to grab my purse. I was in the middle of pulling my card from my wallet when I saw his face. Slowly, I put it back to reach out for bills instead.

"Cash only."

I sheepishly handed him the last few hundreds I have. He took them, expertly flipping through each bill to count them off.

"First time, eh?"

I nodded.

I watched as he slipped the money into his already overflowing belt bag, thinking that he would leave after that. Instead he nudged his head towards the direction of the building and motioned me along.

"Come on then. At least try and get a good look at your first race."

I blinked in confusion but ran after him as he started walking away.

We stopped at the front row of the half ring of people that had already gathered in front of the abandoned rafters. Just then, a huge spotlight shone over the road behind it, driving everyone to erupt in cheers. Parked in a single line at the foot of the road are five cars, headlights opening one by one.

"Jaemin's the yellow one," the boy nodded towards the one occupying the third lane. I stared. I know next to nothing about cars, but I know enough to be sure that none of the ones in front of me now are something you can buy from your run-of-the-mill auto dealer. Lowered, with shining reams, and a low motor hum that reverberated to where I was standing, I could only briefly compute in my head how much each of those customized rides must have cost.

I heard the boy beside me snort amusedly. "Your first race and you get to see this. I'm telling you, this happens once in a blue moon," he said with a smirk. I didn't say anything, my gaze never leaving the yellow car.

Slowly though, I noticed the crowd's noise die down dramatically the same time that a petite form walked out from the building. The woman stopped in the middle of the road and raised her hand into the night sky, a small pistol in her grasp.

Everyone has gone so quiet now that you could almost hear a needle dropping. Just then, the resounding bang of a gunshot pierced the air. Few other large spotlights turned on simultaneously, revealing the snaking road ahead that was disguised under the darkness earlier. I gasped. The roaring sound of engines blared beyond and with a new uproar from the crowd, the cars were speeding ahead, leaving trails of light in their wake.

My heart was beating so hard against my chest as I tried my best to follow the speeding cars ahead. I was only able to comprehend the real expanse of the road the moment each ride took over its lanes—the place looked more like an abandoned air dock field more than anything else. I was barely aware of my nails digging on the palms of my hands as my eyes switched from Jaemin’s car and the others, particularly on the deep red one that he was currently toe in toe with. The space between the two were a hair’s breadth away and I could almost swear their sides would collide any second.

That went on until a curve on the road appeared. It was the last turn before the finish line and the crowd turned wilder as the nose of each car tried its best to take the lead. I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath until the last second when the yellow one took over the inner space of the road before swerving successfully ahead.

Everyone around me erupted in cheers. I gave my own gasp, hands covering my lips before joining the rest.

Jaemin’s yellow lambo parked on the finish line, the rest of the race participants trailing behind. I watched as his door opened, revealing his beautiful wide grin and tousled hair. He was glowing, cheeks flushed from the adrenaline. I was so caught up in the image that I barely noticed Jeno appearing from the red car, followed by Renjun, Mark, and Haechan from the other rides.

I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I watched with a smile as they huddled over Jaemin, playfully pushing and cajoling him for his win. They looked happy, carefree.

But it seems like they aren’t the only ones who were out there in the road. My gaze moved back to Jaemin's car when I saw his passenger seat open. As if in slow motion, a girl got out of it, wearing the same wide smile the others have. The group hooted at her as she joined their huddle.

That’s when I felt as if time has stopped.

The smile on my face slowly faded as I watched Jaemin wrap his arms around her before pulling her into a tight hug.

---

A/N: Hey guys! This is going to be the second to the last chapter of Jaemin’s side story! I originally wanted to finish it in one go, but I thought it would be nice to release the epilogue on Nana’s birthday! So yes, that’ll be out on the 13th, lol. Thank you so much to those who have continued reading this side fic! <3

Chapter 5 (END)

Taglist: @negincho, @springdaybreaks,

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 2 years

Text

Fire Emblem: Fates AU of the day:

In Revelation, Azura explains that the pathway in the Bottomless Canyon opens or closes every few decades. (I presume simply going into Valla via the canyon, because otherwise the gang would never have been able to get out after Anankos’ defeat.) Since the path closes towards the end of Revelation, I presume it also does sometime during, or soon after, Conquest and Birthright.

Anankos by the end of Birthright/Conquest has lost his main puppet, Garon, and Hoshido and Nohr have made peace with each other via their new rulers, so they’re not going to drive each other to ruin and allow Anankos complete control of everything. But the path is closed, so no one can get into Valla to kill Anankos, either - if even they knew, which only Corrin in Conquest knows a tiny bit, besides the Awakening trio, who don’t ever do anything with that knowledge even in Revelation. (Love this game’s writing. Wonder if Hidden Truths was an afterthought.)

So with this backdrop, my concept: some 25 or 30 years after the war ends in Birthright/Conquest, the pathway in the Bottomless Canyon reopens, and Anankos decides to start shit again. And the children of everyone who survived the war (the kids being born after the war, fuck the Deeprealms) decide to, once and for all, figure out what the fuck is going on over there.

Me giving further details on this is complicated by the fact that I really didn’t set up many pairings in Birthright and Conquest, so I don’t know who most of the childrens’ mothers would be. And since again, I’ve decided everyone was born after the war and not tossed in the Deeprealms to marinate, they do not all have as prominent of Father Issues, and their age order would vary from the canon of who’s older/younger based on birth order and not whose Deeprealm moved the fastest. But here are the thoughts that I’m currently having:

BIRTHRIGHT

The children who wouldn’t be around on the Hoshido side are:

Shigure

Kana & Midori

In Nohr, because of both plot deaths and my gameplay, we’d lose:

Siegbert

Velouria

Percy (because I fucked up and couldn’t get to Arthur in time and he died being counterattacked by whoever he provoked)

Soleil and Ophelia (because the gang fucked off back to Ylisse)

Everyone else will presumably exist.

(Though I think at least Ignatius would have no reason to be involved in this crap, Benny is a random border guard that Corrin met once, he never joins an army, he’s just gonna go home when this shit is over.)

But since I didn’t do many pairings in Birthright, I have no idea who the Hoshido princesses might marry and so who else would be Shiro and Kiragi’s cousins.

(Also, over in Nohr, Camilla’s solo endings in the routes she’s playable has her just adopting a bunch of children, so presume there’s just a gaggle of her children added to the canonical children. (I guess she could marry...man, who’s even left over there out of the men. Niles or Benny? I just mentioned Benny has no reason to reinvolve himself in any of this. I guess Camilla could also marry Silas, since he returns to Nohr.)

The biggest question here is who inherits Yato - Shiro’s getting Raijinto and Ryoma makes it clear to Corrin that she is not pawning her sword off on his son (though she tries). Kiragi gets Fujin Yumi. Forrest inherits Brynhildr. I decree that one of Camilla’s kids gets Siegfried, against her wishes that they not learn to fight. So either Hinoka or Sakura’s child, or... fuck, Asugi might get the Yato. Corrin and Saizo are never romantically involved and certainly not married, but their relationship is weird and so Corrin might try to pass the Yato over that way.

(Saizo trying to train his son as a ninja, stealthy and discrete, and Corrin coming in like “hey kid want my giant fuckoff magic sword, since Ryoma won’t let me give it to Shiro” and Saizo’s like “you have five other siblings who all have children, go away.”)

The age order of the royal children is probably like Shiro -> Camilla’s eldest -> Kiragi -> Forrest

(Leo: “I don’t have time for marriage, I have a kingdom to reconstruct from the ground up!”)

How well does fighting Anankos go without the Valla royal line’s magic necklace and song? Probably not great. But at least with Brynhildr and Siegfried along for the ride with the Blazing Yato, they’ve got a chance for an upgrade to the Omega Yato to beat his ass.

CONQUEST

From Hoshido, we lose:

Shiro

Kiragi

Selkie

Asugi

Hisame

And from Nohr:

Shigure

Soleil and Ophelia (again, the gang fucked off back to Ylisse, they’re alive, they’re fine)

Age order for the kids is something like Kana & Midori -> Siegbert -> Camilla’s eldest -> Forrest -> Hinoka’s potential child -> Elise’s potential child -> Sakura’s potential child

(Not that there are many potential marriage candidates left in Hoshido. We’ve got Subaki, Azama, and Hayato, and I don’t like Azama and I don’t like Rhajat. I think I like Hinoka and Subaki, and I guess Sakura is allowed to marry Hayato if Rhajat isn’t going to grow up to be a creepy fucking weirdo stalker to her aunt.)

Kana gets Yato, Siegbert obviously has Siegfried, Forrest has Brynhildr. Caeldori could be a kinshi knight and get Fujin Yumi - honestly, I had both Hinoka and Sakurai wield yumis, so either one of their daughters could get it, and then someone has to learn to use a sword for Raijinto.

In this route, Kamui can at least be like “there’s something at the bottom of the Bottomless Canyon” and point the gang in the right direction because she knows the absolute bare minimum - I guess she would probably come with them to tell them the little bit she learned from Azura, and because if there’s a group of children going off to investigate, like, half of them are part of her family. She wants to help out since she knows two (2) things and that’s way more than anyone else alive.

I do not have a final thought to wrap this up. Just like. Heirs of Birthright/Heirs of Conquest, where the children of the survivors unite the way their parents couldn’t and finally lay this nightmare to rest.

#me writing this up and then being like 'hm i should go finish that piece i was writing about kamui and kaze post-conquest'#BUT THERE'S STILL AN AWAKENING FIC I'M WORKING ON and hten i have like. actual work that i've been spitballing these thoughts between #misc fe fates AUs

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