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#like. the bones of it are laid in episode 2. (in a not great way but still)

thegeminisage · 13 days

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it's STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. last night we watched voy's "faces" and ds9's "explorers."

faces (voy):

i feel like this one had the bones and potential to be good if 1. it had been set a couple of seasons from now 2. if they weren't so fucking RACIST. unfortunately.

so, in the tos episode "the enemy within" kirk is split into "good" and "evil" selves, though they realize by the end of the episode it's not so cut and dry - his evil half is responsible for his drive to action, his will to fight, and his "good" half is cowardly and soft and incapable of decision-making without it. this was a good and complex take on good vs evil which they promptly ruined with everything they did to poor janice rand

the problem with this episode is that they are tying b'elanna's "evil" traits to her klingon half and her "good" traits to her human half. this in itself is racist but they STILL might have managed to say something meaningful if they were using it as a way for b'elanna to tackle internalized racism - like, if she realizes her klingon half isn't the evil she thought it was. and i think they THOUGHT they did that (though if we're being honest "i'll be fighting with her the rest of my life" does not suggest that sort of resolution, only a grim resignation that she can't live without her klingon half even though she'd like to, and it's an open ending but also a bad one), but there are some problems with this

firstly that we haven't had a HINT from b'elanna that she struggled with this issue before now. like i absolutely believe she would, sure. in fiction, especially star trek, characters from two species or cultures struggle a lot with where they fit and who/what they really are, because that was spock's struggle in tos, and tos laid the blueprint for everything that comes after it. b'elanna wasn't the first or second and probably won't be the last. and it can be a compelling narrative! but where the hell is this coming from? i think she has only mentioned her backstory like twice and it was VERY light stuff

secondly, why why WHY do they keep putting the klingons in brownface...i can almost understand if you're trying to make them more orange the way you would make an orion character green, but they are literally not doing that. the woman who plays b'elanna is already NOT WHITE. you don't need to do that!!! is it my imagination or did they pale up her makeup for her human half...man come on

also like lmao having her human half cower in fear when guys with guns show up while her klingon half snarls and breaks her own chains. and her human half gets shielded by men and protected but her klingon half gets sexually harassed while strapped to a table and starts talking about how klingon women have hjigh libidos. because cowardice vs courage and fighting ability vs thinking ability are very much traits imprinted into dna. so is how you get protected or harassed. that's definitely how dna works. i know this is scifi but jesus christ

also, of ALL the fucking people to have to rely on in this sitch. WHY TOM PARIS. firstly, i can't believe they get together later. secondly, he fucking BLEW IT when she was opening up to him and he was like talking about haircuts and going yay you got what you wanted :) hooray :) could you have said ANYTHING more dumb. no. i also got the feeling he preferred her human half because she was vulnerable and needed protecting. gross.

anyway, it COULD have been something, but it wasn't. so

that said, the one right this episode had is when they took that guy away and the vidiian came back WEARING HIS DFACE. that was so completely and totally horrific i almost screamed out loud. the vidiians have the potential to be fantastic villains, i think...they just need a good episode

explorers (ds9):

this one was so cute. like, pure filler, but absolutely adorable. i lvoe when sisko gets to do stuff

his beard!! tbh, i really don't like his later seasons look of the beard but no hair, but the beard WITH the hair looks great. i'm sad he probably won't keep it like this for long

i love how in the 2300s a dad can just build a whole spaceship in his metaphorical garage. i think it was a little questionable to put his KID on something like that but i respect and support all of sisko's decisions because i love him.

the ship was so cool actually! like, completely implausible, but it looked like one of those treasure planet numbers. i have to wonder if it inspired treasure planet at all...

jake's little subplot about maybe going away to college...he got so big so FAST. i loved his joke about maybe joining the maqui not only because he genuinely got sisko (you could SEE him trying to frantically pull the right answer out of his dad skills toolbox) but also because for a second he almost got me. really good and funny. i love how much jake and sisko laugh together. and how much they worry about each other!! jake is so generous trying to set his pops up. not all children are so cool with that.

i was really shocked at the end they got fireworks for making their destination. i was FULLY expecting dukat to be like you arent allowed to be here :) and threaten to shoot them down. but he was like (to sisko who he's gay for) hiiii bestie hi do you want some space fireworks for your kid and sisko was like yes :) and they just did space fireworks. sure. most benevolent cardassian action ever after garak giving julian those chocolates last ep

julian meeting this fake patient at the beginning of the episode was really funny. his GO AWAY in the padd. jadzia doing...whatever that was. she develops a personality sometimes, for some episodes, and then it goes away again. it's not always the same personality but i did like this one. it was very funny.

i think quark and morn BOTH lost the bet since the doctor lady walked by julian without looking at him, by the way. i also love that the depth of julian's neurosis is that he has to go get drunk on real alcohol about this response despite the fact that they have NEVER EVEN MET EACH OTHER. like i spent this whole episode getting this lady confused with the ex he had the foot fetish for but THEY LITERALLY NEVER MET

drunk julian and obrien. ive never been happier. they were two drinks away from fucking right on that couch and obrien was right to switch them to synthale. it would have been funny but i DONT want him to cheat on keiko.

and then after all that he gets laid twice in one episode. good for him <3

TONIGHT: voy's "jetrel" and ds9's "family business." more ferengi stuff already :( give me a break i miss when i liked quark

#personal #star trek blogging #voy lb #ds9 lb

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rrandomtthings · 2 years

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Hi! I saw your post about SK8 to infinity season 2, and I am excited for it but I’m also worried. I love Langa and Reki relationship and I really hope they become more close in season 2 but I’m just afraid that the director of the show is going to make them fall in love with some girl for the male viewers instead of for eachother. Like the one thing I hate about fujobaot/gay bait is that they’ll make 2 dudes be extremely gay towards eachother and then make them have girlfriends bc they don’t want the 2 dudes to be gay. I wish this was like Yuri on Ice but we haven’t had a show like Yuri on Ice for years. Anyways what’s your thoughts in this?

Hiii !!!! I think those fears are completely valid !!

In terms of renga’s relationship, there is no real way of knowing what will happen with them. There has been proof in the show that Reki does show interest in girls, but that absolutely does not eliminate bisexuality, pansexuality, etc etc. I know the topic of queerbait was HUGE when season 1 was coming out and since then I’ve always been on the side of sk8 not being considered queer bait (atleast from what we have been shown in season 1). Bc, from what we have seen so far, their relationship is being seen as really good friends in the grand perspective. The little things in their relationship that can be perceived as romantic isn’t necessarily romantic. For ex, Langa holding Reki saying that he will protect him isnt inherently romantic. These little scenes are only seen as really shippy if u view it that way

That being said, that absolutely does not eliminate the possibility of there being more. From what we have seen, Langa has confessed feelings for Reki from his talk w his mom (this mf blushed and agreed I just AAA!!!!!! It’s been over a year and I’m still not over it) So there has been foundation laid down for possible romance. The sk8 fandom has a large queer community which definitely contributed in its success and the reason why it was able to get a season 2 in the first place. This is a studio Bones original series, it could have easily been left at 12 episodes. This foundation can definitely be explored in the future and I would love to see that so much. We don’t know what exactly will come out of this season since the last season w Adam completed that storyline. For all we know, this season can be ab Reki and Langa’s relationship and the development there

Personally, I absolutely think that sk8 has the potential of being like Yuri on ice. Like I said, the foundation is there and there have been parallels w renga and victuuri!! I genuinely think that yoi is such a high bar to beat (it’s my comfort anime) so idk if anything can even reach the same level, but the possibility for sk8, esp since it’s already had its first season and we know who these characters are, is still there

Im not worried ab sk8 being queerbait bc I don’t see it as that rn. From season 1, Reki and Langa are just really great friends. If season 2 wants to do more, then great (amazing I want that so bad) !! And if not, then that’s fine. The only time I will have a problem is if they wholeass have a whole ass kiss or romance confession one minute then the next they have gf’s. That’s when we will have an issue, but I’m definitely not too worried ab that as of right now !!

#im so sorry this got so long IZISISI #I miss talking ab sk8 so much it’s been so long aaaaaaaaaaa #sk8 #answered #anonymous #rran.txt

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hobbitsetal · 2 years

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(Not OP anon), but can you expand your issue with grmm/GoT’s writing & worldview ?

I would love to! Let me add the caveat that 98% of what I know about GRRM's stuff comes from cultural osmosis. I read an excerpt of the first book and that's been my sole direct exposure to GoT.

But from what I understand about his work through cultural osmosis, he's the poster child for grimdark fantasy: fantasy that puts an emphasis on "gritty realism" and writes without ultimate hope or a sense of ultimate morality. His work is about a dog-eat-dog world, where death happens at any moment, where good doesn't necessarily triumph, and where the strong survive.

On one level, realism is a good thing for art to reflect. On another, and this is the level upon which I take issue with GRRM, art doesn't need to revel in the filthier sides of life.

From what I understand of GoT, both books and series parades the seediness of life in great detail. It wallows in the mud. It holds up filth and sordidness and says, "This is what life is like!" The noble characters die. The scheming, devious, evil characters win out until someone more devious manages to kill them. It's brutal and ruthless and violent in every way.

By way of contrast, let's talk about The Witcher. I've watched and tremendously enjoyed Netflix's show (though it is certainly not for everyone!). On the surface, it contains everything I list when I say I don't want to watch or read GoT: it contains explicit sexual material, lots of swearing, and lots of bloody violence.

But here's the difference: The Witcher also rests on a foundation of good versus evil and on hope. The titular Witcher, Geralt of Rivia, over and over chooses to do the hard thing, to protect life at personal expense. And he isn't always rewarded for it--in one episode, he saves a monster and turns it back into the human it should have been, and promptly gets bitten for his troubles--but he is always presented as right and heroic for his choices.

This is not to say he is above fault. He hurts others sometimes. He makes bad choices. He's surly and antisocial and can be a jerk. But he's also selfless. He chooses to help others. He chooses to seek the truth of a situation instead of accepting it at face value, even when the truth means he gives up a lucrative bounty and gets himself into trouble.

That's the heart of it, for me: The Witcher is about a man trying to do the good and right thing. GoT is about selfish people scrabbling for power at any cost and good people dying because they won't play that game, and that's presented as How Life Is.

Art should be about Truth, yes. And the truth is that life can be sordid and messy and ugly, yes. But from what I understand, GRRM presents that sordidness as all that life is. Life is all about politics and backstabbing and bloody revenge. And to that I say, no.

Early signs of civilization are the bones of the ancient dead that reveal societies that cared for the sick and injured. They're the grave of a child buried with its head on a pillow, laid to rest as if it were sleeping. They're the ancient myths and fairytales of the couple that's kind to a stranger and receives a reward from the gods.

And those signs and myths and fairytales have no place in GRRM's world. His is an inherently suspicious world, in which kindness is either naive stupidity or a ploy for some deeper nefarious purpose. I have no use for that worldview.

Bad things happen in The Witcher. One brutal event in the season 2 finale left me sick, physically and heartsick. All of the characters, even the heroic ones, have made choices and done things that I find wrong. But the heart of the story, the overall tenor of the story, is that of hope. Good is worth striving for, simply because it is Right.

Life has a lot of brutal and ugly things in it. But it also contains beauty and hope and people who will help strangers out of kindness or give up something they want for something they think is right. Ideals coexist with pragmatism and kindness lives alongside cruelty.

As GK Chesterton so perfectly put it, "Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”

GRRM doesn't tell us dragons can be killed. (Ignore plot events and focus on the metaphor.) And I believe dragons can be killed. That's my issue with him.

#grrm #art media and faith #the witcher #i have Thoughts on the witcher vs got #the witcher is a Good Story #also y'all are straight up spoiling me with all these questions!#what a lovely way to spend my saturday

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coffeesinthemoon · 3 years

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If they are going to renew Shadow and Bone for season 2, might I suggest that they should split it into 2 parts just like The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina & Lucifer.

Season 2A (8-10 episodes) will follow the storyline of Siege & Storm. They could thoroughly explain here what is the Grishaverse, how it works, important information and everything that was left out in Season 1. So that those who haven't read the books can easily follow the storyline without confusion, and they can follow what the heck is happening since I have seen reviews that they like the show but they just don't get what is happening from time to time. It is amazing and really great for the audience that have read the books. They didn't need any explanation for the scenes because they simply know what is happening and what will happen. If we truly want the adaptation to continue, we should also let the non-readers' audience to understand it.

Season 2B (8-10 episodes) will follow the storyline of the Six of Crows. The events here could place 1 year after the Ravkan Civil War (Ruin & Rising). We could see more what is happening to the Crows and everything else. The casting is perfect! Just missing Wylan.

Don't get me wrong, I love that they have found a way to mesh the storylines but for me it really doesn't make sense considering on what the books have laid out for us. It would have been better if these two storylines are separate, since that is the way they were originally written. I love the Grisha Trilogy but of course Six of Crows is still the superior one, and has a place in my heart forever.

They should also do this in Season 3. Split it into two parts so that it could be more focused on each series' storyline. Season 3A for Ruin & Rising then Season 3B for Crooked Kingdom. Then if netflix is really in a good mood, Season 4 could focus on the King of Scars duology.

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skellebonez · 3 years

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What about prompt #3 with the Macaque/Tang pairing? That one art is getting me REALLY curious about what their potential dynamic would be like

I had an idea a long while ago about what could happen to Macaque after episode 9, and I have my Deadpool-seque immortality HC for him as well, so I’m combining those ideas and setting this between episodes 9-10 since we don’t know how long MK was training with Wukong after their fight. This is also very different from how I would write them if they met outside of this very specific circumstance.

Warning: vague descriptions of his injuries, descriptions of his healing abilities, mentions of emotional manipulation in canon (none to Tang himself so you don't have to worry about that here).

I’ve been waiting to get to know you from the moment I first saw you.

There were worse positions that Six-Eared Macaque could have landed himself in, especially after his fight with Sun Wukong’s successor, so all things considered... the immortal monkey was incredibly lucky at the moment.

He was in a very soft bed, firm enough to not give too much when he moved but laid on top of extra plush bedding now that he wasn’t bleeding as much as he had been it was much more comfortable. Half of his body was still coated in bandages, though they were more makeshift casts wrapped around items to keep his limbs still than anything else at this point.

Only his right arm and head had managed to make it out mostly unscathed, both fully healed by now. This meant he wasn’t completely unable to entertain himself, a thing called an “e-reader” held in his hand. And as the door to the house he was in opened he thought about his luck.

There was no way this man didn’t know who he was when he found Macaque. Even if the Kid managed to be taken in, apparently his tale hadn’t been completely lost. This house, what little he saw of it when dragged inside and through the halls, was filled with books and art of the Journey. Not everywhere, but just enough to be noticeable. And the recognition on the man’s face when he found him, laying in the rain soaked ground and covered in blood and mud and looking like death itself was instantaneous.

And yet, despite that... and despite the pictures of the Monkey Kid himself he saw on the walls...

“Macaque, you’re awake,” the man spoke, voice still soft and tentative but with a layer of genuine relief and excitement under it. His name was Tang. “I hope you’re feeling as well as you could be.”

Macaque took note of the fact that he didn’t say “better” or just “well” as he lowered the e-reader, bring pulled from the genre known as science-fiction. “As well as he could be”. He seemed mindful of both his condition and his abilities at all times.

“I suppose you could say that,” He said evenly, watching as Tang prepared some kind of medicine for him. He never bothered asking what it was, just some kind of pills and ointment that numbed him enough to make the pain manageable. “I take it nothing happened today.”

It felt odd. Talking like this. He hadn’t just talked to someone in centuries, not really. But what was there to lie about here? Tang knew that he had manipulated the Kid, he said as much to him when he woke. Tang knew of his history, knew who he was and was apparently angry that he hadn’t elaborated on the fact he could have been the same Macaque from the story and not another one (given the story greatly exaggerated his death... or, well, exaggerated that he had stayed dead).

Tang knew he was evil. Knew that he hurt someone he cared about. Knew that he would have been fine eventually if he left him outside, if in a great deal more pain. So why take him in? Why wash his wounds? Why dress them? Why feed him and give him things to entertain him through his bedridden days? Why talk to him, why ask him about the accuracy of the stories?

He was at first annoyed by all his questions but after a day he had given in and just talked and... and he never realized how much he missed just talking to someone. But he still didn’t know why.

He never built up anything to ask. Tang never explained. It lingered between them like a soft breeze, always there and threatening to grow strong. But not causing any disturbance, not yet.

“No, but there are rumors about something going on with the Demon Bull King...” Tang trailed off, genuine worry peppering his tone. It wasn’t as if Macaque was particularly interested or as if he could actually do anything with the state of his healing as it was... but something about that tone made something sink in his chest and he didn’t like that.

Tang was... different, from most humans he had met. Not entirely unique, he wasn’t that different from others, but still. It had been a long time since he met someone who would talk back to him and tell him to “shut up and let me help you”. Reprimand him, him, for trying to leave the bed before his bones reset. Who took his sass with an unbelieving raised eyebrow and a “yes, I totally buy that” and even had the gall to toss food like pieces of candy into his open mouth when Macaque went on an angry rant just because he could. He knew all about him already and he didn’t take any of his bullshit.

He hated to admit it... but he didn’t hate this human. Tang. He didn’t hate Tang.

Neither said anything as Tang handed him the pills, pain killers he called them, and water once Macaque put them in his mouth. Neither said anything as Tang tested the spots on his arms and legs where there were breaks, his ribs long since beating them both to healing, testing to see exactly where anything needed to be reset or rewrapped due to Macaque’s movements in his sleep.

It had been a long week and a half... Macaque almost didn’t want them to heal.

Healing meant he would have to...

“At the rate you’re going,” Tang started with a mirthful laugh, looking equal parts happy and sad. “You’ll be out of here by the end of the week.

Macaque said nothing, setting aside his water and scowling for a moment. He mulled the thought he just had in over in his mind before deciding that... if Tang had let him stay this long... he may as well say it. It wasn’t like it would change anything except whether or not he was happy when he left.

“What if I don’t want to?”

Tang’s head shot up from where he was inspecting his arm, face one of shock and confusion and... if Macaque looked deep enough into his eyes, he could swear he saw something akin to hope that he was being serious.

So he took a chance.

He lifted his good arm and placed his hand on the back of Tang’s head, pulling him closer slowly as he waited for him to fight back or say something. But Tang didn’t. He let the demon pull him closer and closer until his nose touched Macaque’s and Macaque stopped... and Tang moved forward and pressed their lips together.

Macaque knew then and there that he had made a mistake and both of them would hurt when he left the second a fire lit in his chest and his eyes closed and the kiss deepened.

The next day he finally asked Tang why he had given him a chance.

"I’ve been waiting to get to know you from the moment I first saw you."

(Tang was right. Macaque was ready to leave by the end of the week. So he did, in the midst of the chaos of the Demon Bull King taking everything over. Tang hadn’t come back one day and he watched the news from the house well outside the city. He stayed around outside, just long enough to watch Tang come home, watch him find an empty made bed, watched him grab the e-reader he had given Macaque and slam it into the wall and yell about how stupid he had had been to fall for the demon monkey. How he should have known he would leave.

Macaque left before he allowed himself to actually feel regret and comfort the man who had taken him in and helped him and made him feel something more than hatred and the rush of victory for the first time in centuries.

They both mourned a relationship they never had.

And maybe one day Tang came home to sweets and other gifts after the Lunar New Year Festival.

And maybe one day a dark furred monkey mistaken for Sun Wukong helped a certain Monkie Kid from the shadows because he remembered the sad look his father figure held when he watched him talk about him being hurt.

Maybe one day Macaque returned, angry and confused due to plans unable to be finished as he time after time remembered the human who helped him heal in more ways than physically over 2 weeks and that healing, while not enough to change him then, had lead to him second guessing his decisions for the months to come.

Maybe Macaque would ask for a second chance, gruff and hating every moment that he had to be nice to anyone else who wasn't Tang. But begrudgingly trying. For Tang and no one else.

Maybe.

Or maybe not.

Who am I to tell.)

#maybe they're doomed and maybe they're not #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #ship fic #six eared macaque #tang #shadownoodles #tintedlenses #i kinda started using the second as a ship name before remembering the former was suggested #prompt fill #this is hurt / little teeny comfort at the end

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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(1/2) At this point, I feel like talking about the last seven episodes of SCK is a bit moot, considering that the amnesia plot is done and the team of writers responsible for most of it is gone, but I am curious to get your opinion on whether you feel Serkan actually fell in love AGAIN with Eda. I personally don't feel that Eda and Serkan had enough meaningful interaction to suggest that he re-fell in love. There was definitely more "telling" than "showing" and the heart "remembering..."

(2/2) ...what the head didn't. I know I'm probably splitting hairs, and at this point, everyone is happy he regained his memory, so who cares? But I'm just feeling very unsatisfied with the storytelling. Meh.

Oh, I disagree. Well somewhat. See, I think they 100% showed us that Serkan fell back in love. However, I do agree that it was very unsatisfactory storytelling, and that they’ve exhausted me to the point that I’m also beyond really caring. I think we’re all beyond caring, because the truth is these writers dropped the ball so hard during this arc that I’m embarrassed for them. They were handed a slam dunk romantic story and they fell flat on their faces.

That being said I think they gave us plenty to suggest that Sekan fell in love. IMO it was obvious in episode after episode. You say they did more telling than showing, and I think its the opposite. They did plenty of showing. What they didn’t do is tell us straight out. Think about it this way, if Serkan had verbally admitted in this episode that he loved her prior to getting his memory back, say when asked by either Aydan or Engin, would we be having this conversation?

The problem is they didn’t do that and instead relied on what they showed us. And I think they showed us, in individual scenes, Serkan falling in love with Eda pretty much in every episode. The problem is that every episode, and sometimes in the very next scene in the same episode, they seemed to start him over back at square one so it was very disjointed for the viewer. We’d have a romantic, emotional scene and then he would suddenly be a giant dick in the next scene without exploring on screen what was going on in his head. I think the writers themselves thought he was reacting to his trauma and guilt and manipulation and reacting against his blossoming feelings for Eda (ala ep 3) but they were lazy and clumsy and didn’t spend time and give us that insight so it just felt like whiplash. The execution of this story was appalling, I can’t believe how badly it was done (those writers suck) but the bones of it was all there.

Think back as far as episode 30. At breakfast he’s fixated on Deniz, very jealous, but is not remotely threatened or bothered by his own fiancé’s ex-fiancé who is right there. Then there is the bridal style carrying her, it was like a primal need he had in that moment to help her, and then that fireplace scene! Oh the fireplace scene. Now, I’m not arguing that he fell in love with her during that scene, but that was a very intense, very emotional, very romantic scene that showed that he was open to her, drawn to her, intrigued by her and experiencing feelings he didn’t understand. It pretty much opened the door for everything that came after and paved the way for how quickly he was going to fall for her again.

By 31, I’d argue that he was over 2/3rd of the way to being in love with her. He overhears Eda making plans with Deniz for that evening, so he invents a reason to go to his cafe, lies to his fiancé, stays all day until he can drive Eda home ensuring she doesn’t spend the evening with Deniz and then they have an adult, emotional conversation. Then they do the same on the boat, engaging in intense, emotional conversations, and when it’s over, he sends his fiancé, who has been missing, on her way so that he can sit there and think about Eda. Do you do that over someone you don’t love? Seriously? At the end of the episode when Eda’s wedding day was announced, he looked like he’d been run over by a truck. Again the only explanation for that reaction is deep, deep romantic feelings.

By 32, I’d argue that he was all the way there, but did not have the tools to recognize the emotions or deal with them. For the LOVE OF GOD he was sleeping in his office clutching her wedding invitation. What other explanation is there for that, other than that he was in love with her? Would you do that when your business associate announces a wedding date? I’m guessing no. Then he spent the whole episode fixated on Eda and in turmoil. The coffee shop. Finding out she was in trouble and going back to the office to help. Being pleased that she fell asleep on his shoulder. Playing in the snow. He never would have thrown that party for Selin if Deniz hadn’t manipulated him into it by guilting him and telling him that Eda was only really happy now because he’d ALMOST DIED in a plane crash. However, the second she was in trouble he ghosted the fiancé on her birthday and went to rescue Eda and proceeded to be vulnerable with her.

In 33, they reset him again via Selin’s guilt, however he still was fixated on Eda, questioning her about her feelings for Deniz, going to find her at the flower shop and doing something entirely out of character for old Serkan by sitting down to make terrariums with her. Telling Engin that her scent was driving him crazy. Having Melo set up the dinner. And then kissing her. Again, this was very poorly rendered by the writers because none of the connectors between scenes really flow or make sense, but what they were trying to go for was that no matter how much guilt and emotional manipulation Selin laid on him after finding him sleep snuggling with Eda in the cabin, and no matter how upset he was that Eda remembered their great love, but could still discard him so easily, he couldn’t forget her and was constantly thinking about her and wanting to spend time with her. Even after seemingly having Selin’s version of Eda verified by Ceren. Would he do any of that if he wasn’t in love with her? Again, I don’t think he could identify that feeling and admit to it, but that doesn’t make the feelings he was experiencing less real.

And in 34 it was pretty much full on. He doesn’t stop thinking of her for a minute in that episode. He’s fixated on wanting her to admit her relationship with Deniz is fake. Now he might tell himself that it’s because he wants to win their little battle of sexual tension, but really it’s that he so badly wants it to be true. He so badly wants for her to not have moved on from him. Eda screws up in this episode and lies to him about loving Deniz during a very sincere conversation, if she’d come clean, maybe he could have admitted his own feelings.

By 35, he’s full gone. He’s frantic when she fell off the yacht, way more so than Deniz who says he loves her. He was ready to leap into the sea, in the middle of winter, when they were probably no longer anywhere near where she went in, and then he leaps off that thing before it was fully docked in order to get to her and make sure she was okay. Wanting to jump in the water is the irrational reaction of a frantic man worried for the woman he loves.

After that, the wedding prep drives him crazy. She drives him crazy. After seeing her in a wedding dress, he’s close to a full on panic attack and his heart practically fails on him. Even when they’re high on cake and tea, and being very close, he can’t let go of the fact she’s getting married the next day. He spends the whole episode clutching her necklace and brooding over it. It’s eating him up, but he won’t admit to Engin or Aydan that he’s in love with her, because he thinks she’s happy with another man. However, that doesn’t make those feelings any less real.

Would you walk on the docks at night starring longingly at a necklace of someone you didn’t love? Come on. He was fully back in love with her by at least 32, they showed it very obviously, they just didn’t tell us. The writers were able to give us plenty of great individual scenes that very clearly illustrated his feelings, they just weren’t able to put together a coherent narrative that told that story in a satisfying way. They suck, and turned what could have been a very romantic and lovely story into a disjointed mess but they didn’t ruin the characters. What Serkan was doing in every single scene, against all odds and attempts at abusive manipulation, was falling in love with her.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal kapimi #edser #serkan bolat #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #sck 1x35 #asklizac #anonymous

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bebopwhore · 3 years

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Ballad of The Nightmare: Spike Spiegel x Reader

A/N: hello! This is my first fanfic I’ve ever written or posted and I am so scared! I’m a Spike whore which is why I made this blog. There aren’t enough Spike fanfics/imagines anywhere and it kills me! Shoutout to @ificouldhelpyouforget for having the best Spike writing! If there are any other great ones I’m probably missing please send them my way. Anyway I hope people read and like this, requests are very much welcome:) would love to hear some feedback. I have a part 2 coming if people actually enjoy this!

ps There’s an episode reference and I’m aware Faye wasnt actually in the scene I talk about but it’s just for spice✨

Summary: You’re a part of the bebop crew and after seeing Spike fall from the cathedral window while fighting Vicious, you have a nightmare about the whole ordeal ending way worse than it did and go check on his injured self.

Warnings: a bit of violence, non detailed but mention of wounds, angsty, fluffy, a little language

Vicious was running, running straight toward me with fire in his eyes. He was an animal and there was no stopping him, he was so close to grabbing my black coat trailing behind me. Arms suddenly shove me away from him and I tumble down to the ground. It was an armed green haired figure in his long brown coat. A quick scream came out of my mouth as soon as I realized what he was doing and my voice felt gone. “SPIKE NO” I managed to let out but it was too late, his gun was flung away from him. Vicious had him pinned to the ground ready to shred him to bits with his Katana. I was shooting and shooting from the ground but nothing could stop vicious. His whole body was bulletproof in that moment. In midst of his struggle Spike slowly turned his head to look at me, the katana was against his chest about to go against our wishes. “I love you” he mouthed and I had started sobbing uncontrollably screaming his name for the last time.

Feeling like she was being watched y/n’s body shot up, waking almost immediately as soon as the katana started to cut into the chest of her green haired angel. Burying her head into her hands and knees, her head continued to throb the headache from just a few hours earlier. Images of Spike’s bandaged body from his fall at the cathedral just the night before kept flashing in her mind.

She was very bitter at Faye for leaving him by himself and wouldn’t stop yelling at her once they got on the bebop with Spike and his broken bones. Every time Spike was seriously hurt he would try not to dump his whole weight on to y/n’s side but this round he did. He was nearly lifeless and it scared the shit out of her .

Shivering, she sighed a defeated puff out of her mouth. “stupid good for nothing bitch” she breathed out. She loved Faye like a sister but hated the choices that girl would make sometimes.

I sat up slowly and got out of bed. In just my night tank and shorts I threw on a light jacket and quietly stepped out of my room, closing my door slowly and being mindful of Spike resting on the big yellow couch just a few feet away. I really needed pain relievers but I also really needed to check on him. My heart ached no matter how many times ive seen him in this condition. I worried for him all the time and this nightmare didn’t help. Heading straight to the kitchen first, making sure I made zero noise I took a Tylenol and gulped it down with water and hurried to go be with my sleeping beauty

With the intention of feeding Spike if he woke up I had an orange and a water bottle in hand. I crept slowly out of the kitchen in the dark with nothing but Ed’s monitors being my only source of light. I turn the corner and there he was, bandaged like a mummy, multiple cuts on his cheek. He was snoring very lightly with his lips parted. He looked like an Angel who just fell from the sky. I frowned and sat on the coffee table barely a few inches across from him and stared. Stared into his closed eyes, begging for them to lift up. He was in a deep sleep. I took in the rest of his body and fought so hard not to touch it. I loved seeing his bare chest and collarbones any time I could, even if they were covered in gauze. At the end of his hour long workouts I always made sure I was in the living room so I could see his bare torso and pulsing veins when he headed toward the shower. Hopefully he hadn’t caught on to that. He’d always smile when he’d see me and give me the usual “take a picture itll last longer” comment. He was a flirt and so was I but we never really touched each other. Only when it came to saving the other’s ass.

I recall the time we were in Ganymede and there was a shootout in a restaurant involving this cult rat group of siblings. Jet, Faye, Spike and I were having dinner and spying on our next hit. Out of nowhere bullets started flying everywhere and the four of us booked it under the table. As soon as I got under, Spike pulled my arm into him very quickly and held me to his chest, wrapping his arms around my head to protect it. Soon his whole body consumed me. That was the first time I’ve ever felt so safe in my life. But why didn’t he hold Faye instead? Or at least the both of us? She’s a woman too? I kept thinking afterward. I didn’t ask him in fear of the moment being ruined but you can count on Faye to say what everyone’s thinking. Spike ignored her and Faye ignored the both of us the rest of that day.

I didn’t realize I was smirking til my attention was brought back to Spike’s injuries. Blood was seeping through the bandages of his left arm, I gently grazed his wrist and opened his arm up to rest on my thighs. Carefully grabbing the emergency kit left next to me I began to wrap it up some more as it wasn’t time yet to change the bandages completely. Being very gentle I studied his face for movement, but nothing. I loved tending to him, all I wanted to do was take care of him. I softly place his arm back where it was and a breath of relief washed over me for not waking him. He’d probably think I was a weirdo if he found me here right in front of him rustling my fingertips gently through his hair. Although he did like it when I would do that whenever he’d fall asleep in random places on the Bebop and I had to wake him up to go to bed. I giggled softly at the memories and missed his voice and soft demeanor towards me.

“I miss you” I whispered, my finger tips still playing with his dark curls

I noticed my legs trembling out of lack of sleep. I shamelessly really wanted a smoke. Hesitant to leave him and without even thinking I kissed his forehead and snuck into his room and stole one cigarette. His scent consumed me the second I stepped in and I wanted nothing more than to stay in there.

I walked out and promised myself as soon as morning came i’ll fly out to Mars and get him a few more packs. I never owned any which is the funny part, Spike would always just give me his when he’d know I needed one.

I walked into the dark control center and peered out into the universe and lit the cancerous thing. I turned away from the windows and lounged on top of Jet’s shogi table. Feeling my back giving out, I laid down grimacing at the slight soreness my back pleaded. Feeling an empty void in my chest I mentally begged for Spike’s precense there with me. My eyes started to water.My biggest fear was him ending up dead before I told him how I felt about him.

I sat up as the tears started streaming faster and dabbed them away with my sleeve and I proceeded to consume myself in nicotine once again. I looked to my right and peered at Spike’s punching bag. Wanting nothing more than to be sitting here watching him release his anger on it when he would do so.

A knock came from the doorway

Oh shit

#cowboy bebop #spike spiegel #anime #gif #fanfic #fan fiction #spike spiegel imagine #cowboy bebop fan fiction #fluff #angst #angsty

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richincolor · 3 years

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SomeThoughts about Netflix's Shadow & Bone

This past Friday, the highly anticipated Shadow and Bone series premiered on Netflix and fans of the Grishaverse all over the world logged in to watch their favs come to life. There was much discussion of the inclusion of numerous characters from throughout the Grishaverse and that diversity was a focus in the casting of the show, especially Jessie Mei Li who is biracial, therefore changing the main character’s ethnicity to biracial Shu Han. Unfortunately, that decision didn’t pay off to well due to the showrunner’s handling of Alina’s ethnicity. Twitter blew up as people shared their hurt and warned others about what to expect.

I had planned to watch the show and happened to see one such warning before I watched the series so I was prepared. I watched a couple of episodes, then called it a night. The next morning I was unsettled and reached out to my fellow contributors here on Rich in Color. No one had seen it yet, but Jessica said she was planning to as well. As we chatted, I felt that our conversation should be shared with our readers, so Jessica and I decided to write our thoughts down and have a conversation after she watched a few episodes herself.

Oh, and spoilers abound!

First off, before we dive into this conversation: Have you read the Grishaverse series? How much did you know about the story going in?

K. Imani: As everyone knows I love fantasy so I’m open to reading all sorts of fantasy books. I read the Shadow & Bone series a few years ago and enjoyed it. When the Six of Crows duology came out I read those too and actually enjoyed those better than the original series. Why - more diversity? It also expanded the world and the different perspectives of “Grisha” like folk from other cultures. It was very clear from the writing that Bardugo realized her first series was very lacking in diversity and worked hard to change it. I actually re-read both series during quarantine, so I had a fair idea of what the Netflix series would be about.

Jessica: I’ve actually never read a single Grishaverse book! I know, shocking. I only knew two things about the series going into the show: 1) Six of Crows is a heist book? 2) Ben Barnes is a person who exists.

The cast announcement for any show is always so exciting, and Shadow and Bone was no different. How did you feel about the casting -- before and after you watched the show? What did you think was done well, and what did you think could be improved?

K. Imani: Before watching the show I was actually a bit confused about some of the casting choices. I didn’t understand why 3 of the main Six of Crows characters were in the show and I honestly did not make the connection to Alina and Mal being biracial. Knowing that the Grishaverse is “Russian-based” and knowing that some ethnic Mongolians are considered Russian I just found it cool that the show cast a person who didn’t fit a Russian stereotype. Oh boy was I way off! Overall I was pleased with the casting and think all the actors did a great job. I liked the few changes they did make with casting actors of colors for other roles to round out the diversity of the world.

Bringing it back to Mal, I was confused as to if he was supposed to be coded as biracial. I missed the reference in the show, but I did read somewhere that he was supposed to be as well and that is what bonded him to Alina. If that’s the case, then how come Alina was the only person to experience racism? That thought continues to sit on my heart because it shows that the writers did not really think through how they wanted to express racism and included it for the wrong reasons.

Jessica: My reaction was basically, “I’m happy that other people seem happy!” since again, I had no context for the show. Casting on Netflix shows often seems to be a case of “cool, this is some exciting casting… but definitely could be better and even more intentional.”

K. Imani: “More intentional” That is the word right there! Making a story more diverse is wonderful and fully reflects the world we live in, however if you just randomly do it without thinking it through it comes off as insensitive. I know Leigh Bardugo used this show as an opportunity to make her story better (and I do not begrudge her of that fact) but when one doesn’t think it through, the criticism that is being expressed is a direct result.

Jessica: Sidenote -- I ended up watching a booktube video titled “Darker Jesper, Fat Nina, Shadow and Bone Casting Thoughts” on booktube channel Chronicles of Noria about the casting. Highly recommend checking it out. I also recommend this profile on Jessie Mei Li, who talks about being gender nonconforming.

Did any changes in the Netflix adaptation stick out to you? Were there changes you liked or disliked?

K. Imani: My favorite part of the adaptation is how well the show runners included the Six of Crows characters into the narrative. The storyline completely worked for me and connected the two stories together. I really enjoyed the Arken storyline (and the character tbh) as it was used to flesh out the world of the Grishaverse, which made the series much more interesting. I also liked the change of making Ivan and Fedyor a couple instead of just Darkling’s henchmen as it humanized them and actually made me like Ivan because they were so cute together. Though how that will come into play after the events of Episode 8 will be interesting. I’m a sucker for the Enemies to Lover trope so I loved that Nina’s & Matthia’s story of how they came together was included here. In either Six of Crows or Crooked Kingdom (I don’t remember), it was told as a flashback, but I loved that it was moved here as their “origin story”, so to speak, and how it connects to the events of the Alina timeline.

What I didn’t like...the casual racism. It really bothered me and left me sad the next morning. For example, a certain poster shown in the first episode had me physically cringe and I was upset that 1) the production designers even created it and 2) no one, at no point, said that was a bad idea? Come on! It was horrible to see and I can imagine the hurt an AAPI would experience seeing that. And then, it got worse. Racial slurs thrown around a couple of times in the first couple of episodes to show that Alina is an outsider. They were jarring and took me out of the narrative. Having read the books I knew there was tension between the Ravkans and Shu Han, so I could understand what the show runners were trying to do, but it was actually never explained in show, hence making the racism feel random and just there for shock value.

Jessica: I saw tweets going around alluding to the racism Alina (and other characters to a less frequent extent) faced, so I braced myself for it. I’m only a few episodes in, and the instances so far were brief… but it just didn’t feel right. The foundation for this portrayal of racism wasn’t laid properly. And if the work of laying the foundation and really digging into what it means for the overall worldbuilding doesn’t happen… then why include it at all? Especially if it might be painful for certain viewers? I’m sure harm wasn’t the intent, but that’s the impact. Why not leave it out and let the show be escapism?

K. Imani: Jessica, the eyes comment took me out, not gonna lie. I audibly screamed. Anyone who has experienced a racist comment based on their looks felt that in their gut which is horrible when watching a show for escapism.

Jessica: Yeah, the eyes and rice-eater comments were especially frustrating. On top of it being a reminder of the racism Asians experience daily… it doesn’t make much sense. Like, canonically, do people in Ravka not eat rice? An American’s conception of racism isn’t necessarily going to make sense in a (Imperial Russia-inspired) fantasy world. But maybe I’m missing something since I didn’t read the original books.

And the eyes comment… whoof. When I was a kid, other kids would make fun of my eyes and ask me to, like, count seagulls because surely, I couldn’t see out of my eyes… And the other kids were also Asian! Internalized racism is so real. It’s disappointing that Shadow and Bone would include this experience as, I don’t know, discrimination flavor text. Surely there were better ways to portray discrimination that made sense within the Grishaverse…

Ellen Oh really said it so well: “If a writer is going to show racism against Asians, it's important to balance it with the beauty of all that makes us Asian also.” Where is the balance? Where is the nuance? Even if Alina’s Shu Han mother isn’t alive, couldn’t Alina have had a treasured Shu Han pendant? Just spitballing here. There were so many possibilities.

K. Imani: Exactly. I agree with Ellen and unfortunately there is no balance. That’s what makes it so hurtful. The focus is on how bad it is that she’s biracial and how bad the Shu Hans are for no specific reason. Because Alina is an orphan and grew up in Ravka, she unfortunately has no connection to Shu Han culture (or at least what is shown on screen) so all that she identifies as is Ravkan who just happens to look like a Shu Han person, but she doesn’t exhibit any pride in being Shu Han. Her ethnicity is just another obstacle to overcome which is all the more cringeworthy and why having Alina be biracial just to be biracial without thinking it through ended up being so problematic. Having her be biracial and using casual racism as an “obstacle” that she has to overcome is such a shallow interpretation of racism and shows the writers didn’t do the work to really think about the why the racism exists.

In addition to talking about what was done well and what went wrong or felt off about certain representation, it’s important to look at the “how.” How did this happen?

Jessica: I read on Twitter that one of the show writers is Korean and biracial -- which is awesome! I was really heartened to hear that. But at the same time, this highlights how important it is to have multiple marginalized voices in the room who can speak with some level of expertise. I don’t know the decision-making process that went into including this sort of surface-level, simplistic version of real world racism, but I wonder if anyone, at any point, said “is there a more nuanced and original way to portray this?” or “how will this affect Asian viewers?” Did someone bring it up, and they were overruled? What happened?

This absolutely isn’t a judgment on the Asian writers or staff on the show. When I’ve done collaborative writing, there were times I caught an issue and said “we need to be more sensitive about this” -- and there were other times when my teammates pointed out something I didn’t notice. It happens! That’s why it’s so important to have multiple marginalized perspectives when creating something -- especially when it’s a work as impactful and far-reaching as a Netflix show. Placing the burden of complex, nuanced representation on one, or a scant handful, of marginalized creators is just not going to work… and it’s not fair to the creators, either.

Frankly, this is a problem in so many industries -- film, publishing, games... there are so many “diverse” shows, games, etc with all-white or majority white teams. Good, nuanced representation can only happen when BIPOC / marginalized creators are the majority and have power behind-the-scenes. (This is why I’m really excited to watch the show Rutherford Falls -- half the writers room are Indigenous writers, as is the co-creator!)

K. Imani: Exactly! It’s great that one of the writers is biracial and Korean, but if she’s the only one how much input did she really have? I’m by no means knocking her experience but, say for example, that particular poster in the first episode. No one else behind the scenes found it problematic? There are many steps to a production process and that poster, if there had been more diverse voices present on the production staff instead of just 1 writer, would have been flagged as a huge problem and redone. The poster was supposed to be a “short cut” to show Ravkan/Shu Han tension but instead it came off as so profoundly racist and unnecessary. There are many other non-racist ways to explore the tensions between the two countries that could have been explored instead of just jumping to racism. And...as someone on Twitter pointed out, we never see the tension between the Ravkans and the Shu Han, but we openly see fighting between the Ravkans and the Fjierdans, so why were they not vilified to the same extent?

Jessica: Right. I’m definitely not saying racism can’t be portrayed in fantasy ever. But if you’re going to do it, make it make sense within the world. Don’t just use it as shorthand for “this character is Other.” I mean, experiencing racism isn’t what makes me Asian…

K. Imani: Boom! I’m going to repeat that for the people in the back...experiencing racism is not what makes a person Asian or Black, and if you are going to have racism in a work of art, be sure to provide balance to show all the other aspects of a person of color’s life.

Since we’re talking creators behind-the-scenes… which YA fantasy books by Asian authors do you think would make great Netflix shows or movies?

Jessica: I’ve got a list about a mile long, but I’ve cut it down to my top four:

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns by Julie C. Dao

The Tiger at Midnight by Swati Teerdhala

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo by F.C. Yee

You’re welcome, Netflix execs who are totally reading this blog. Hop to it!

K. Imani: I second the Tiger at Midnight series! I loved the first two books and can’t wait for the conclusion in June. While not YA, the City of Brass series would make an excellent Netflix series. Anything Maurene Goo writes would be fun rom-coms (because we need those too!).

Jessica: I mean, with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before complete… Netflix clearly needs to start adapting Maurene Goo’s books.

K. Imani: Yes, the people demand it! I don’t care which book, just grab one of them and get the production started.

On a final note, I do want to say that despite the criticism the show rightly deserves, there was much about the show that was enjoyable. The storytelling was strong and moved at a good pace, the costuming was on point, special effects worked seamlessly into the narrative, and even small touches such as how the Grishas used their small science was visually interesting. Book adaptations are always hard to pull off well and the Shadow and Bone production team did a good job overall. Their intention towards adding more diversity is a step in the right direction, but just didn’t do enough. Let’s hope they learn from their mistakes and improve for season 2.

#shadow and bone

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casmybelovedass · 4 years

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The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

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leapyearkisses · 3 years

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Director’s Cut Commentary - Orbs Are Bad News Part 2

Second part of me blathering my thoughts all over this old story per the request of a very nice anon! I am still sleep-deprived, so yay~ Sorry, this commentary is probably way less interesting, since this part is just the sexy stuff, but if you have any particular questions, please send me another ask!

Happy to do any of my stories or just answer asks, whatever. I clearly enjoy reading myself talk XD

Comments in bold below the cut! This part is NSFW. Well, it’s all kinky but there’s also sex.

I forgot to mention this in Part 1, but the title of this story is because the homebrew campaign I ran for my friends involved magical evil crystal orbs. Hence they are bad news.

"Are you ever going to stop sneezing?" Remembrance asked. At the same time, Cordes said, "One thousand blessings, Llewellyn, one for each." The two of them were several yards ahead on the road, and only Cordes was looking back over his shoulder. Right now, the four party members were the only travelers on this particular stretch, although as they got closer to civilization, they'd started to pass the odd wanderer, farmers with wagons, even a merchant or two. The woods here were broken up periodically by stretches of arable land, clear-cut several decades ago and now waving with wheat, flax, or various vegetable leaves. The fields were golden in the late sun. Their shadows stretched behind them like taffy, rippling on the cobblestones. The day was vanishing quickly, and Gerrit could sense his companions' impatience to move on even as he stopped again himself, drawing out his handkerchief in a now very familiar motion.

Stick your people in a world. That’s my advice. Don’t have them just floating around in a no man’s land of generic scenery. (Also why I like period/historical snzarios and fantasy stuff, because reading about plain people in an apartment somewhere is boring to me.)

Llewellyn, for his part, could not answer them, face buried in his elbow as he ducked with another reluctant outburst. "Hahktschiu! Hahh- happtsch!"

"Bless," said Gerrit, and he stepped in front of the elf to shield him marginally from view. He laid one warm hand on the back of Llewellyn's neck and lifted the handkerchief with the other, capturing the next sneeze in the flannel folds. He settled his fingers firmly around Llewellyn's nose.

This was an arrangement that had been born out of necessity three days ago when the party had raided a bandit camp's plundered stores. Along with a good stash of gold and gems, they'd found a blue crystal orb, cursed perhaps, that had summarily become attached to both of Llewellyn's hands, rendering the sorcerer unable to do most anything... including take care of his cold on his own.

On the last episode of Orbs Are Bad News...

Llewellyn blew his nose into the handkerchief, wetting the cloth and dampening Gerrit's fingers through it. Originally quite opposed to such a display outside of the most private circumstances, the elf had been forced to put his pride aside and let Gerrit help him. His fever had abated the previous day, but the frequency of his sneezing had increased, as if his body was insistent now on ridding itself of whatever illness remained. It was a horrific prospect to Llewellyn to catch the resulting mess every time in the sleeve of his robes... so he suffered Gerrit to hold the handkerchief, even though they were walking along the road where any might see them.

Despite some initial teasing, Remembrance and Cordes had quickly grown accustomed to the practice and now cared not at all, except to complain. "We're going to have to camp again," grumbled Remembrance. "Five miles from Veigh and we're going to be stuck without a bath!"

Is five miles a realistic figure here? No fucking clue! I frequently engage in excessive and specific research for my stories, but I didn’t look up how long one might hike for in D&D. Oh well.

"Is there anything I could do for you?" Cordes asked, somewhat exasperated. The priest had made several herbal concoctions for Llewellyn over the past few days, but none had helped the elf's nose much. Cordes's specialty was unfortunately not the curing of disease but the mending of bones and flesh.

I will take any opportunity to make up an excuse as to why the snz cannot be contained. You’re welcome lol

"Ndo," Llewellyn growled, as fed up as the rest of them. "I'm beyond heh- help. Hngtschiu!"

"Bless you, arimelda," said Gerrit, trying to keep his voice even. He shifted the handkerchief so that Llewellyn could have a drier spot, trying to ignore a glimpse of slickness on the elf's face. "Remembrance, Cordes, why don't the two of you go on ahead? Find an inn, get a room, take a bath, whatever you want. It might be prudent also to send a message ahead to the Mages Guild about the orb. Will you do that? Llewellyn and I will join you when we arrive."

An elvish word appears! I researched this but not walking.

Cordes nodded. "Yes, I'll draft a letter as soon as- Hey!" Remembrance had grabbed his arm and was rushing ahead already.

"Let's go, man!" she said. "Everyone loves a damn priest; you're my ticket to a good room, so may your god help you if you dawdle." Her pointed tail swished as she practically jogged down the road. Cordes spluttered but could no more stand up to her as to a tornado, so off they went. It was a remarkably short time before the two of them were out of earshot, disappearing around a bend.

And again, removed so that the main characters can bang, lol.

Gerrit sighed but turned his attention back to Llewellyn, who was blowing his nose again. The handkerchief was running out of clean corners this late in the day, but the elf leaned back this time when he was finished. "All set?" Gerrit asked.

"Yes." Llewellyn rubbed his eyes on his upper arm, wiping away a spare tear from the effort. "...My apologies." He cleared his throat, refusing to meet Gerrit's gaze. "We may arrive after dark."

"You're ill," said Gerrit, trying to fold the flannel in a way as to avoid his pocket getting wet. "We'd move faster if you let me carry y-"

"No."

"Then I don't mind taking a more leisurely pace." Gerrit smiled. Even after everything, Llewellyn was stubborn. Honestly, since they weren't really in a rush, he didn't really care when they reached Veigh; they'd only detoured here to try and remove the orb. If Llewellyn, the most inconvenienced, didn't want to give up his pride and piggyback on... well, Gerrit found his noble hauteur inexplicably cute.

Me too, buddy. Don’t worry, you can carry your elf later.

He also wasn't in a particular hurry because it was awfully uncomfortable to make any sort of time with his arousal pressed flush to his thigh.

A reminder that sex is usually going to be involved in my stories. The snz is not enough by itself.

Llewellyn coughed into his elbow and then started walking again. Gerrit had pulled back his hood for him in the morning and braided his hair, and the crown of plaits caught the afternoon sunlight like an obsidian. Gerrit tried not to let his eyes linger on the sorcerer's pale nape. Or any other part of him. He and Llewellyn had been travelling together for close to three years, working for their current patron in the capital, and in that time Gerrit had felt himself growing closer to the elf. Wanting to be closer, anyway.

Llewellyn shot a glance at him and caught him looking. Gerrit flushed and turned his gaze back ahead to the road.

"You've been very accommodating during all of this," the elf said, tone carefully neutral.

Gerrit shrugged. "It doesn't bear mentioning. We're comrades."

"Comrades," Llewellyn repeated, an edge to his voice that Gerrit couldn't quite place. "Is that all it is?" He kicked a stick that had fallen to the cobblestones, sending it into the brush. Somewhere to the right, bumblebees droned over a meadow.

Llewellyn is kind of a asshole and not super great at communicating with any level of affection, although he does get better.

Gerrit swallowed. "Yes? You and I, we've helped each other before. I consider you to be a steadfast companion." Eyes on the road. Eyes on the dappled play of shadowed leaves and light on the ground. "Why do you ask?"

"So shy," Llewellyn exclaimed, a tad mockingly. "You've never been shy about taking me to bed, Gerrit." Despite his short height, the elf seemed to find it easy to look down his nose at the much taller fighter. "Has something changed?"

Height difference is also personally sacred to me.

"Changed?" Eyes on the road.

Llewellyn stopped walking. "You called me 'arimelda.' 'Dearest.' Did you think I wouldn't hear you over my sneezing?" He couldn't cross his arms with his hands trapped by the orb, but the set of his jaw was determined and his firm brows were arched. "I wasn't so distracted then as you seem to have thought."

Gerrit shoved his hands in his pockets. He stopped walking but didn't turn. "Apparently not," he muttered. "Look, we can set it aside. Doesn't have to mean anything – doesn't have to change anything. I know a highborn elf like you wouldn't consider an official relationship with a half-elven bastard, and I've known that from the start. For my whole life. So... I care about you. But it can just be as comrades, or whatever you want it to be." Llewellyn was quiet, and after a long minute, Gerrit did turn on his heel, desperate to know what kind of reaction he'd provoked.

The angst of the half-elven existence! Gerrit is a very typical half-elf in terms of D&D characterization, lol. Despite that, I do find these different-lifestyle pairings interesting, so they keep happening, cliche or not. There is a definite pathos in the elf/human relationship because of the different lifespans, of course - most famously depicted through Arwen and Aragorn, probably, although he’s not the exactly typical human. Anyway, it kind of varies how people like to determine elven and half-elven lifespans in D&D depending on the PHB and your DM’s weary forbearance lol, but Gerrit and Llewellyn will expect to live similar lengths because I’m a sap.

He saw Llewellyn standing with his eyes closed and head titled back, lips parted. The elf's nostrils flared as he gasped.

"Are you going to sneeze again??" Gerrit asked. He threw up his hands, then went for his handkerchief once more. They did have an arrangement.

He strode back over to Llewellyn's side and tucked the cloth around his nose again, thumb and forefinger just resting on the elf's nostrils. He started to rub Llewellyn's back. "You have the worst timing, you know? Here I am, spilling my heart to you and everything."

I laughed writing this part, too. You can’t always let things just be angst.

"Sh-hhuh-t up, I jh- just nih-" Llewellyn gasped again and gave in; he had no other choice. "Hahktscht!" He moaned and pressed closer into the handkerchief, thick congestion only aggravating the itch that remained inside. "Hkktschtt! Hngtscht! Hahh- ah-- ankcxttschiu!"

That sure is a bunch of letters crammed together!

"Easy... it's okay." Gerrit massaged Llewellyn’s nose, tried to soothe the irritation. He guided Llewellyn to the side of the road, and, in a moment of calm, settled him to sit on the grassy bank. He followed, kneeling at the elf's side. Llewellyn was tearing up again and his nose was twitching against the pads of Gerrit's fingers. Gerrit felt electric all over. He found himself wishing the handkerchief was gone so that he might touch the soft, heated skin of Llewellyn's septum, coax the elf to relax and loose his tension, sneeze into Gerrit's palm. The mess didn't bother him; none of it bothered him. He was supremely unbothered. His cock was almost painfully hard.

It took several more minutes punctuated with more urgent expulsions before Llewellyn seemed to trust himself to speak. His eyes were wet with unshed tears, eyelids tender and reddened. His nose was brightly ruddy, running to chapped. He had to take a shaky breath, collecting his thoughts. "Gerrit."

I’m a very visual writer. This kink is extremely visually-based for me. I wish I could draw as well as I want to so I could depict these scenes how I imagine them, but eh.

"Yes?" Gerrit lowered the handkerchief, gently pinching as he did to clear any lingering moisture. He wasn't ready to hear a rejection, nor did he feel particularly ready for a lecture or a tirade or even a logical exploration of why a relationship was a bad idea. He wanted, if possible, to keep walking to Veigh, side by side, listening to the bees and dragonflies and songbirds settling in for the evening, feeling the light breeze on his face, replete with the scents of summer.

"Kiss me."

Gerrit blinked, mental caravan bunching to a halt. "What?"

i am so funny omg

Llewellyn nudged him in the chest with the orb. "Kiss me. You're all worked up." He cleared his throat. "And judging by the state of you, you're not put off by my cold. So?" He tilted his head to the side, gently, closed his eyes. "I want you to kiss me."

An example of the B character not really forcing the admitting of the fetish but just kind of not caring. That is also okay, and I think it’s normal. People don’t just admit to all their kinks immediately upon entering a relationship.

Baffled, but feeling as though maybe all was not lost, Gerrit obliged, pressing their lips together. His own eyes slid closed and he cupped Llewellyn's cheek, deepening the kiss, touching their tongues together, trying to convey how he felt. Whatever had changed. The kiss lasted for too short a time; Llewellyn broke away to breathe, eyes half-lidded, but he didn't lean away.

I’ve never kissed anyone, but I consume media. I feel like I am pretty good at depicting things regardless of experience.

"I'm not going to dismiss you out of hand," he said. "You or your feelings. But I would ask for some time to think." He looked up through his lashes. "Are you feeling better?"

Another thing I like in romance, even in kink short stories like this, is a more realistic portrayal of the confession than just “It was obviously meant to be~”

Gerrit could feel his pulse in every extremity. "Not really," he managed, and he kissed Llewellyn again, this time sliding one hand under the elf's head and one at his hip and pressing him back to lay in the grass. He moaned in his throat as Llewellyn kissed back, and when they had to break for breath, he started to kiss at Llewellyn's forehead, jaw, throat, wherever he could touch skin. His hands roamed over the elf's body, smoothing over hip and thigh and belly until he could start to undo the buttons on Llewellyn's close-cut robes.

"Gerrit," gasped Llewellyn. He moved the orb between them, jamming it into Gerrit's sternum. "You are not going to sleep with me on the side of the damn road! Get ahold of yourself!"

He has standards!

Gerrit growled at the quick pain in his chest, then shook his head and leaned back. He flushed deeply and pulled his hands away. "Oh. Oh, fuck, sorry. I-"

"Pick me up." Llewellyn lifted his arms.

"What??" Gerrit's brain was having a hard time keeping up at the moment, all of his blood being elsewhere.

"There was a thicker copse of trees back about thirty feet, on the left." Llewellyn waved the orb at him. "Pick me up. We can lay down there."

His standards are NOT that high! But he does have them!

So. So Gerrit ducked his head into the circle of Llewellyn’s arms and picked him up, holding him securely and setting off down the road again, back the way they’d come. The elf was right; there, about twenty feet back from the bank, was a thick copse of pines, all grown together with wild geranium and maidenhead ferns. Gerrit pushed through, shoulder first. Despite its proximity to the thoroughfare, the inside of the stand was quiet and shielded completely from view. This would do nicely.

Told you you’d get to carry him soon.

He set Llewellyn back on his feet and made short work of undressing him, first freeing the sorcerer from his pouches and bags, then undoing the silver buttons on his robe from his collarbone to his crotch. The rich fabric fell open appealingly. Next, Gerrit freed the elf from his boots and leggings. A long white shirt, woven from the finest of elven angora, still covered him, but Gerrit pushed the fabric up over Llewellyn’s belly, leaning in to kiss the elf again and touching him intimately.

Llewellyn moaned and nudged Gerrit’s hip with the orb. “Now you,” he said. “I want to see your body.”

Gerrit complied, making quick time shedding his cloak, pack, leather armor, breeches, boots. Two daggers, two short swords, caltrops, a bow and quiver, a glaive, and a spiked whip followed. He pushed them to the side as Llewellyn rolled his eyes.

This is another funny trope lol, like when a hero or assassin or someone has to go through airport security and the metal detector keeps beeping because they’re carrying 18 knives on their person. Fighters are proficient in every weapon, so why not have one of everything?

"You can't possibly have a use for all of those," the elf said, and then Gerrit captured his mouth again.

He laid Llewellyn down on the soft carpet of pine needles, using his cloak to cover the ground and double as a makeshift pillow. The elf was beautiful in the shifting shade, skin flawless. He had the orb resting on his chest and it glowed intermittently in the inconstant sunlight. The gold chain netting that encapsulated both the orb and Llewellyn's fine-boned hands glimmered. "You know," said Gerrit, smoothing a hand down Llewellyn's bare thigh. "You'd look pretty good bound up in gold chain."

"This isn't enough for you?" He scoffed.

Gerrit laughed. "It would be fun to tease you. I love it when you fuss at me. So cute." He dodged Llewellyn's elbow and settled down on his stomach, hooked one of Llewellyn's legs over his shoulder, and nuzzled the base of the elf's cock. "Ready, arimelda?" His own cock was under him, pressed to his stomach in the confines of his shirt. He could feel his pulse in the head of it, quickening with the scent of his lover.

"Yes, you prick," sighed the elf, and he moaned when Gerrit started to kiss him and lave his skin. His fingers flexed on the orb, longing to wind into Gerrit's hair.

Licking is kind of thing, and I love writing about fellatio so. Yay~

Gerrit took Llewellyn into his mouth eagerly, fingers curled over the elf's thighs, fingertips pressing at the sensitive inner surface as he sucked and teased and swallowed. Like this, he could focus on Llewellyn's pleasure. The noises the usually stoic and prideful sorcerer was making were enough to make Gerrit moan, mouth full, and rock his hips. Nothing pleased Gerrit more than seeing Llewellyn undone, seeing the elf flushed and open and undone for him. And he shivered, all over, when he heard the elf's breath catch and his tone go wavery. He thought he could come from this, listening to Llewellyn sneeze while pleasuring him implacably with a heated, well-placed tongue.

This is also VERY IMPORTANT. Caretaking to the point of like, partner worship idk. It’s good!!

"Aa, aa, ahh- ih- Gerrit, I-" Llewellyn drew his knee up, curling, heel drawing along Gerrit's back. "I nih- need to snih- hh-"

Gerrit drew his head back, let Llewellyn's cock free for a moment. He didn't loosen his grip on the elf's legs, though, wound up and desirous. "Okay by me, melda, it's okay. Feel all right? Want me to stop?" He was breathless himself, had to force the words past the distraction of his arousal, but he would abide.

Consent is the sexiest thing.

"No, don't stop," Llewellyn groaned, then turned his head to the side. "Hpptscht! Hah- Haktschiu!"

"Bless, bless." Gerrit kissed Llewellyn's thigh tenderly, then nipped it, drew his tongue over the hurt, sucked a bruise to mark its place. He swallowed Llewellyn down again as the elf cried out in pleasure and then bent with another helpless burst. Gerrit wondered if he could make Llewellyn come simultaneously with a sneeze and what that might feel like. The fantasy set him alight. His abdomen was tight, his cock like a brand on his stomach. He redoubled his efforts.

Gerrit felt it first, when Llewellyn came, in the tightening of the elf's thighs and stomach, then tasted the salt of his release. His world narrowed down to taking it in, swallowing, milking with his mouth while Llewellyn cried out, going until the elf was pushing him away, keening, oversensitive. He didn't wait to lift Llewellyn then into his lap, cradling him with one arm and stroking himself with the other hand, desperate to come as well. Llewellyn pressed his face to the junction of Gerrit's neck and shoulder, tightly gripping the cloth of Gerrit's shirt as they rocked together. The elf's nose was gently wet and he was panting, sniffling. Gerrit came with a shout, holding him close, shaking with an overabundance of pleasure. He let go of his cock and embraced Llewellyn fully. He had enough presence of mind not to confess to anything, but he couldn't stop himself from murmuring how beautiful, how soft.

okay. o__o There’s only so much I can say about writing the porn lol. I write what I want to read.

Gradually the world came back. Birdsong, first, and the bees, the sounds of the trees swaying in the light breeze. The lingering heat of the day, dampened by the shade and the growing dusk. The musty smell of pine needles and the sharper hint of sap, the scents of sex, the pressure of Llewellyn astride his lap, the bite of uneven ground against his knees. Llewellyn was touching his cheek, trying to say something sweet, failing because of his cold again.

I tried to write this part so that it would not be immediately obvious to the reader, as it is not to the characters, that the orb is gone.

"Ah- hh- Ttschgktst!"

Wetness against his neck. Gerrit wound his fingers with Llewellyn's and kissed his jaw. "Bless you," he said. "I'll find you a healer in Veigh. We'll get you well again. Right after we free you from the orb." He laid his cheek against the back of Llewellyn's hand tenderly. Then he paused. "Wait." Straightening, he brought his hands between them. The right was laced with Llewellyn's left. "The orb is gone."

Llewellyn straightened also, looking down at his hands. His hands with no orb. He lifted them both, amazed. And then wiped his nose on his wrist, sighing in pleasure. Gerrit tried not to blush despite everything.

Me too, buddy.

"Where did it go?" he asked, looking past the elf's shoulder. "Why did it come off?"

"Who even cares at this point??" Llewellyn had let go of him and was stretching, running his palms over his body, touching his own arms and face and cock, finally able to move and feel again after three days of magical bondage. He wiggled his fingers and then clapped his palms together, raising a small flame with their parting. "I have my freedom back. I can cast spells again. I can-" He smiled brilliantly. "I can touch you, too." He dropped his hands suddenly to Gerrit's lap, nimbly taking Gerrit's cock between them.

Gerrit lost track of the orb immediately.

Me too, buddy.

---

It was dark indeed when the two of them made it to the inn in Veigh, but both were in high spirits. Gerrit had relinquished handkerchief duty back to Llewellyn with a great internal mourning, but he could always fantasize about this again in the future (he did, frequently), and he knew that Llewellyn, despite his best efforts, would catch more colds on the road (he did, more frequently than he would like).

I would love to play a fetish-friendly D&D campaign, but it would be way too embarrassing, probably. My current PC has allergies, but I have never mentioned them in-game and probably never will lol. God help me if my DM ever remembers that I wrote them into my character sheet.

Remembrance and Cordes had only been able to secure one room, it seemed, with two beds. Gerrit resigned himself, going up the stairs, to sleeping on the floor. But... it was apparent upon entering the small space that... well, their priest and thief had ended up taking up only one of the beds, together. Gerrit and Llewellyn traded glances.

"I don't think I want to ask," said Llewellyn, going for the free bed.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Gerrit replied, joining him.

The untold story, lol

In the morning, Cordes, with great dignity sprung from embarrassment (the cause of which he did not volunteer) informed them that a letter had not been sent to the Mages Guild yet. He was immensely relieved to find that one was no longer needed and quick to congratulate Llewellyn on his newly regained freedom. Remembrance just chuckled from the bed and took her time buckling her armor back on.

Already in Veigh, the party spent some time stocking up on medicines and liquefying some of the heavier treasures they'd liberated from the bandit camp. Gerrit sent a message on to their patron to expect them back in the capital in a couple of weeks, barring disaster. They purchased horses and set out, ready for the next adventure.

---

The orb lay still in the pine thicket, nestled like an egg among the ferns, waiting for the next hapless traveler.

Faust’s Orb of Rope Bondage. Make a Will saving throw [DC 15] upon touching the orb with any body part, wearing clothes or not. Upon a failure, the orb will find its way to adhere to the hand of the hapless adventurer. If both hands touch the orb, they will both be stuck. If two people fail the save, one of each of their hands will be stuck. The spell can be broken only if each attached party has an orgasm.

I GUESS

#lyk writes #snz #llewellyn mistwalker #gerrit truestride #gerwellyn #director's cut commentary exercise

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himbo-buckley · 4 years

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Sex, Intimacy and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 4

Ciao, ragazzi,

i bims, die Kriz and I will be your tourguide today. (Yes, we’re on first name basis now, congratulations, kid, ya’ll earned it!)

Okay, so I rewrote this intro like 5 times by now. 3B has been so hard on me in a way that the rest hasn’t been. While I was writing 3A I had so many thoughts and ideas and conclusions from the get go, my main worry was to fit it all in and to make it coherent. And it took me a while to get there with 3B - but don’t worry, my friends, I did not disappoint and it is just as long as part 3, despite Tim Minear personally coming to my home and vibe checking me for saying he had daddy issues. Which is fair, tbh. Sorry bro, I’ll stop calling you out like that. (No, I won’t.)

Also if you need a „quick“ refresher of what happened so far or you just forgot, here are:

part one - part two - part three

And also, the usual spiel:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FIVE parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season, and have it organised by episode so you could technically follow along (which is still true), but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 had exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in three parts - there is part 3 which ends with the Christmas Episode, part 4 which spans what aired of 3B so far and the final part 5 which will include the final and my conclusion, if by then I am able to form thoughts again / still

Alright you guys, drumrolls please: part 4 (also called „*butterfly meme* Is this growth?“)

Episode 3.11:

I wanna be honest with ya’ll, Season 3B is sort of a mixed bag for me, because while yes, all the episodes have been great viewed separately, they just feel so … separate from each other, and with 3A having so many episode-spanning arks, it’s a bit of a letdown to return to the standalone episode format. Especially because it makes the whole two steps forward one step back thing so much more apparent as it feels like what happens in one episode has no consequence for the next. It felt a little like they burned through too much in 3A already and didn’t know where to go from there. Which is also true for me, so maybe I should stop judging.

Anyways, I’ll stop bringing the house down now.

Let’s continue with: Don’t you just love stan-ing two adorable, complicated badass firefighters? Yeah, me too.

Also, I wanna see the Doc again. Tim, can we? He could be friends with Frank? We could see them have tea and talk about those dumbasses at the firehouse? (And also legs, since, you know, Frank only has one?)

And also the bank guy, Harrison was fun. (This whole episode was.)

And I know it has nothing to do with Eddie or Buck or Intimacy or Sex (okay a little with those) but I do wanna point you to that damn meatball scene, because it’s so chaotic? First, why are all the ingredients laid out on the table but Maddie is making balls already only to then cover them in water? Look, I’m basically vegan (haha, how long do you think I’ve waited to shoehorn this in here) and haven’t cooked meat since I was … fourteen, probably? And even to me that just seemed wrong! Not to mention AFTER touching raw meat, Maddie only cleans her hands with a towel before opening the door? You used to be a nurse, Madeleine / Maddison! (Do we know her full name? I feel like we don’t.)

One thing I really love about 3B (so far) is how happy and settled my main man Edmundo Diaz is. It’s in the eyes, you guys! I don’t know if it’s a Ryan thing or a deliberate acting choice but whatever it is it translates well (haha, well, yeah, we’ll talk about that one later) into his character and it really makes you feel like Eddie is so much better. Like for all the analysis of Eddie I’ve been doing, I didn’t notice how much colder he grew since the beginning of Season 2 until this episode came and suckerpunched me with the warmth in his eyes. Good god, proceed with caution! Oliver could call me right now and say „Look, Buddie isn’t real, I just keep getting lost in Ryan’s eyes.“ and I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d just be like „How’d you get this number?“. (It was Tim, wasn’t it? Damn it, we talked about this, mate! I wanna meet his cat, not him!)

The episode doesn’t hold a lot of relevance in terms of this meta (aside from some parallels I’ll talk about in a moment) but I still want to discuss it a little bit because it means a lot to me. I just love Howard „Chimney“ Han with all my heart.

I wanna say something controversial now because we’re 500 words in and I feel like I haven’t made you regret reading my rambling yet, so here is controversial thought of the day #1: All these fucking characters are grey as fuck except Howie. Howie is good to the bone. He is the goodest boy. He is so gentle and sweet and non malicious and yes, I am including Evan in my list of grey characters because he pulled some SHIT! Okay, a little bit of shit. Things have been *implied*! (I don’t even know anymore. Maybe he’s just off-white or something.)

And what’s the worst my best friend Howard „Chimney“ Han has done on this show? Lied to his girlfriend a buncha times so she likes him better? I lie all the time. I just lied to my mother 5 minutes ago (Yes, Mom, I’m working on my thesis.)! And Howie just lied to make someone like him better. That’s not bad, that’s horrible self esteem!

Which brings me to another thing I wanna say because thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt. If anyone from the cast gets to call me, it’s you, because you clearly had your thinking pants on when you took one look at Chimney and said: I want that one! You a real one and I will name check you on my way to heaven - not, that they’ll let me in, but the thought counts?

Now, lets talk about those parallels I mentioned before:

The Hans vs. the Buckleys.

Now, we still don’t know a lot about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley and what exactly made them bad parents (though I’m firmly team a little neglectful but not abusive) but we know a lot about Mr. Han.

One thing of the bat I wanna mention is that this episode confirms that Maddie at least had a hand in raising Buck - which doesn’t actually have to mean too much, because based on JLHs age, her relationship with Dough and the way their sibling relationship is played it’s safe to assume that Maddie is supposed to be between 5-10 years older than Buck (assuming she started nursing school after High School at around 18 / 19, which I think takes 4 years in the US? And she was an ER nurse for 8 years, making her AT LEAST 30 in Season 2, but considering how she emphasised that Buck noticed something was wrong with Dough even as a teenager and she met Dough at 19, I’m gonna assume Buck was younger then 16 because Dough won’t have shown his abusive tendencies right of the bat, so probably about 12 / 13, making Maddie like 6 years older than him? And since we DO have a definite age for Evan, Maddie is probably around 33 in Season 2 (which also works because they wanted to put her and Eddie in a relationship and Ryan Guzman is in his early 30 as well). And look, as the youngest child of two people I would call more than adequate parents I can tell you: older siblings always have a hand in raising you, especially when the age difference exceeds 4 years. One of my sisters is 5 years older than me and I was more scared of telling her about having a bad grade than I was of my parents, so…

Anyways, back to what is actually happening in the episode and how it both parallels and contrasts the Buckleys and Hans.

Like Maddie and Howie are the older siblings and Buck and Albert are the younger siblings, yet Buck and Howie are paralleled as are Maddie and Albert. Also, Howie resents his brother for the relationship he assumes Albert has with their father, but Maddie recognises that Buck probably had similar experiences growing up as she did. Of course one could argue that Howie and Albert never had a relationship before while Buck and Maddie grew up together, but look, Maddie was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and hadn’t been in contact with her brother for 3 years prior to Season 2 but it’s safe to assume they didn’t have too close of a relationship before that either, or the Buck we know would have gone to Maddie to investigate and find out why she dipped. So…

(Despite all of this, Maddie knew she could come to her brother for help in Season 2 meaning one, our boy is such a good boy always and the Buckleys can’t be all bad if Maddie knows she can count on her brother, meaning she didn’t think her parents screwed him up too much in the time since she moved out and gradually left his life. Just another thought.)

I also love how her firm believe in the strength and meaning of familial relationships triggers a shift in Howie. Please keep this in mind for when we discuss 3.16 in a few minutes, friends.

Also that kitchen scene has all my heart. They really said kitchens are a Buddie thing now, didn’t they? (Also from a non shipper perspective, Maddie and Buck are just the sweetest and for a TV show actually fairly realistic siblings. At least if I compare them to my siblings and I.)

Also in terms of the actually topic of my meta’s: this is our first indicator that Eddie considers the 118 his family. And we have another moment of Chimney seeking reassurance / being open with Eddie. I love that they have a friendship like that. (He was so excited about meeting Chimneys brother as well. A little bit puppy and like another reason why Evan and him are friends. (As if we need more)) Also love that Eddie is secure enough to voice these feelings!

(Eddie really does seem so healed in this episode? So open? And happy? Damn, Frank, you know your shit! My man had some growth.)

Now, for some sidenotes to round off this episode, because I have some and I wanna share them:

On the Buckley parents, I think the episode wants to imply that they had plans for Buck? Maybe career wise? Because in the pool scene he says something along the lines of: „Sometimes you have to put / get a little distance“ and since it’s been implied that Buck is also from Pennsylvania or somewhere close by, we can assume that he was talking about himself here. Like he moved all the way across the continent.

I’m also just gonna throw out a prediction for Season 4: since Nia is only a foster child and like 2 years old, it’s safe to assume that she has been only recently taken in. While I do not know the US-Foster system, I do have some knowledge about the German system, so I’ll just predict that either one or both of the birth parents try to get their child back.

Or they just sort of forget about all of this by Season 4.

And I really really really dislike the cancer storyline and how the show is handling it, at least in this episode, specifically in regards to May, who in my opinion, has been both written and treated by the show as someone younger than 18 here, only for the show to then turn around and go all: wow, such an adult, look how wise she is. So awesome. Like nah, son! 3A has shown that she is much maturer than she was treated in this episode.

And Eddie finally got to say „seen this before“ again. I feel like he says that a lot. Should I start a counter for that too or do ya’ll just wanna think about him naked for a bit? (I know, you guys, I know! Should I befriend someone who can make me a bunch of gifs of shirtless Eddie I can pepper in every time we get to heavy around here?)

Episode 3.12:

Ah, yes, „Fools“! The one episode I have to say I can not look at without wearing my shipper goggles. So be warned.

Which is why I’m gonna start with the elephant in the room: Ana Flores.

Now, I’ve seen (and maybe liked / reblogged / queued / drafted (Idk anymore, I’m up to 600 posts in my drafts, 300 in my queue and like 300 liked / reblogged already)) an interview with Ryan Guzman where he talks about Ana and how he isn’t sure yet wether they are heading for romance and how it needs someone incredibly badass to get through Eddie’s defences, because Eddie is barely over his wife’s death and yeah, that! Look, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you have read the other three parts of this „meta“ and therefore know that I am a proud member of the Shannon Diaz - defense squad and will fight anyone who says a bad word about her. And you will also know that I attribute most of the stupid things Eddie did in 3A to the fact that Shannon died. So there. All caught up.

Now, as for Ana Flores herself (and I’m writing this after 3.16, so who knows what happens next): She might be in Season 4 (I think the interview said something about it or she tweeted something) but I don’t think it has been confirmed yet? So considering what Ryan said they probably won’t end up in a relationship by the end of Season 3 (again, please remember when I am writing this).

I’m not gonna comment on the actress aside from saying, damn, I wish that were me! Other than that? I don’t really care about actors unless I think they are hot and then it’s more of a: uiiii, me like-y. (Madeleine Patch, call me!)

As for the actual scenes, well, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand side, as I’ve said before, I work with children and the idea of dating the father of one of my babies is just plain wrong to me. So there is that. Morally speaking that storyline would be trash. (And very OOC for Mr. „My son needs to be protected above all“)

Then of course there is what’s actually happening between them which, one, from the get go she seems to not reciprocate Eddie’s advances (he keeps telling her to call him Eddie, she keeps calling him Mr. Diaz). Also that whole speech about horses? Yeah, I know you’re an english teacher but ähm, what? (Put it on the list, Tim, I need answers!)

To sum it up (and explain why I brought up Shannon aside from how much I like her), I don’t think it’s headed for a romance quite yet? They may be playing the slowburn game, but I think it was more like Ali in Season 2. Because as @greyhello pointed out to me in Part 2, Ali might have been there to show us that Buck was ready for a commited relationship and it had never been Abby that made him like that, just as Ana is here to tell us: hey, Eddie is finally accepting his wife’s death and maybe, possibly, some time in the near future, ready to date again. Probably. We’ll see.

Aside from that, I actually think a little crush could be something healthy and healing for Mr. control issues. But, again, we’ll see.

So, elephant addressed. Now let’s move on.

Sidenote: I feel like the parent-teacher conference made Eddie really regret so many of his life decisions. Someone needs to tell Buck so he can make a million puns from here on out and drive Eddie crazy.

(Sidenote: Carla said „big blue eyes“! You know who has big blue eyes? Ah, now I’m just clowning.)

Now this episode returns to the Season 2 formula of giving Eddie and Buck similar storylines:

Because while Eddie meets someone he could potentially be interested it, Buck is also made aware of his single status and the fact that he hasn’t dated in a while.

I do think Buck’s stance in this episode was both curious and familiar. Familiar because it reminded me a lot of Eddie in 2.04 and I think, just like Eddie did before Shannon came back, right then Buck is closing himself off from making connections, be they physical or emotional, because he got hurt too much.

Which is why I call it curious. Because I can not decide wether I consider his behaviour growth or a step back. In Eddie it would definitely be a step back, but in Buck who had been so willing to take any chance for physical intimacy just for the sake of a connection in Season 1 to now at least seem somewhat settled in himself and comfortable with what he has does feel a little like growth? (Then again 3.16 shows us he is just scared of getting hurt again, so probably just covering up is depression.)

Also, again with the kitchen! That puts us at five (?) scenes of Buddie talking about each other or with each other in a kitchen setting (six, if you count 3.03). Now I’m probably clowning myself real hard right now, but whatever!

But I do wanna point out how comfortable Eddie and Buck are discussing Eddie’s parenting struggles, which just shows how much he trusts him.

Now I know, I myself have made a textpost about Eddie discussing his parenting struggles with literally anyone, but ya’ll know I was kidding, right? It isn’t actually true. In canon he talks with exactly 5 people about Christopher:

They are Christopher’s therapist in „Triggers“, Carla, Hen, Lena … and Buck.

Now, here comes something interesting: For Carla and therapist, it is literally their job to help Eddie with his parenting struggles, but all the other scenes? Connected to Buck. Yeah. That.

Look, the Hen scene in the Christmas episode literally involves Buck and as I’ve said both Eddie’s and Buck’s reaction here heavily implied that Eddie has had a conversation with Buck about his fight with Chris before telling Hen all about it.

As for Lena, again, she is *literally* there as a substitute for Buck. She uses his locker. Her name is taped over his - and that is actually such a nice visual, that I wanna talk about it real quick, because I’ve seen it called disrespectful a few times and I don’t agree.

One, the fact that they left the „B“: funny af, someone from set dressing is probably laughing themselves silly about this and is allowed to call me now; also a constant reminder who’s locker and place she is actually occupying. Also how she can never really fully replace him, she can’t cover the hole he left fully, he is always there, lurking.

Two, the fact that it is tape: tape is slightly see through. It is temporary and easily removed. Tape is just a quick, momentary fix. Tape can be taken off / away without effort.

So to sum it up: There’s no one he trusts more with his son.

Which is also why Buck is there at the end: because Buck is who Eddie trusts. Buck is who Eddie goes to when he’s struggling as a father. Buck is who Eddie wants by his side cheering Chris on. I mean, they are literally pushing him together while Carla films (stands on the sidelines, ready to help as needed, but not fully a part of their family unit).

So, to go back to the elephant in the room? Right now I’m not at all worried about Ana Flores.

On another note it’s also one of the last real Buddie scenes we got in 3B so far and while I do understand that there just wasn’t any storyline for them to do such a scene organically, I am very worried about what it could mean. Because I still remember when Teen Wolf stopped putting Tyler H and Dylan in scenes together because people kept screaming queerbaiting.

I don’t want that to happen here. I love Buddie and what it could represent but I’ve also written too much about their respective characters AND their connection by now to disregard how meaningful they ALREADY are and how important even as a platonic pairing they are. Because they make each other so much better and proof that straight man can have deep connection with each other and how two flawed people can help each other heal in a way that I don’t think any other relationship in this show shows.

Back to the episode, though. The ark between Christopher and Eddie here is truly beautiful and I love the way we see Eddie growing as a parent. And I think the show wrote those scenes so well and they felt truly natural and were incredibly important, both for Eddie and Christopher.

I do think, as much as I love Christopher always being Eddie’s number one priority, no matter who Eddie ends up dating (yes, even if he dates Buck) we need to see a bit of a shift here. (Also, just in general, because Christopher will grow up, even if he’ll never be as independent as a fully abled bodied child might someday be.)

Eddie needs to learn to let go of control and of Christopher a bit. Look, a partner will never come before Christopher for Eddie (unless Chris is like in his 40s and has moved out and is living his own life. And even then it’ll be close.) but in order for anyone to ever fit into his life he needs to make a little space at the top and that includes taking away a bit from Christopher.

(Also just selfcare reasons, you guys, parents need to learn that it’s okay to sometimes think about themselves! And we already saw Eddie break once cause it became too much, how easy do you think that can happen again?)

Sidenote: We all know Buck built that, right? He’s been shown again and again to have some mechanical / maschinary (?) understanding plus fairly interesting problem solving skills.

Episode 3.13:

I love the locker room scene. Firstly, it’s a definite reminder that these three have bonded a lot and it’s such a sweet familial scene.

Also Eddie’s advice: yet another hint that he’s healing from Shannon’s death.

Compare it 3.08 and the conversation Bobby had with Eddie. There are no definite callbacks or anything like it, but it is very very very obvious that Eddie is talking about his dead wife here. Who he told he loves her in her last moments. So there.

Now, as for the healing part, could you imagine 3A!Eddie saying something like that to anyone?

Even in 3.03 or 3.06 with Buck, the person he lets himself be the most vulnerable with, there are still always terms and conditions with his words.

He trust no one more with his son, which, okay, is what the scene was about and what has the highest priority in his life but still, his trust isn’t bound to himself, it’s bound to his son, not to himself, not something he has in general for Buck, but something he has for Buck in regards to his son - that Eddie trusts Buck with himself is only ever implied.

He forgives him - „also what it means to be a part of a team“. Eddie sort of impersonalises his forgiveness here, he doesn’t forgive him because he’s Buck and he’s Eddie, he forgives him because they are part of the same team.

With Eddie there is always a wall.

But here in the locker room there isn’t. It’s just: if you love her, tell her, cause you might not get another chance - Eddie certainly doesn’t have another chance to tell Shannon.

And okay, you might say, isn’t that kind of a condition as well? Saying ‚I love you‘ because tomorrow isn’t promised? And sure, it kind of is. But Eddie’s also basically saying: once upon a time I told my wife, who art now in heaven, that I loved her as she was dying and then I got real mad at her and the world after because she left me and she was planning to leave me anyways and now I’m here and I’m over that and I’m just glad I got to tell her ‚I love her‘ one last time. I’m no longer angry.

Growth, you guys.

Episode 3.14:

I feel like the writers read some of ya’ll’s Buddie fanfiction, realised how it mischaracterised the relationship between Buck and Chimney gets and said: not on my watch!

In other words: If Eddie and Buck are different sides of the same coin, Buck and Chimney are the same sides of different coins. They share so many traits and experiences!

Now, this episode. Man, you guys, it really has me stumped. Part of me thinks it doesn’t have relevance and part of me keeps going back because it thinks it does?

Oh man, you guys, I’m lost. I don’t know.

All right, executive decision: no relevance, just another drop on the breakdown-stone that is 3.16.

Someone please tell my man’s boy they need him!

Episode 3.15:

Fun fact to start ya’ll off: this was only the second episode I watched somewhat live being a little new to town and the first I saw without spoiling myself on tumblr. So it has a special place in my heart any way you look at it.

(But then again this episode also involves several of my nightmares: drowning! being below earth! Being in small enclosed spaces! Being buried alive! Huge amounts of mud that will not leave your clothes and fingernails for the next six hundred years!)

Also, uhm, did I say „Fools“ was the *one* episode I could not look at without shipper goggles? So I’m contradicting myself. It happens. Move on. (Yeah, or repress it and join a fight club! Also name check me with your therapist, please! We may have breakdowns but we do them healthy around here!)

Because these fuckers went off! Whew! I’m serious, after watching the episode I sent a clip of that scene to my roommate and asked to rate how platonic this was. Which she did not. Because she doesn’t know math, apparently. - My point is, she sees it and she doesn’t know the show.

In other news this episode convinced me Oliver is pulling an Andrew Robinson (and yes, I know he said it was in the script but then Andy also followed the script, so…).

Sidenote: Eddie is the oldest, right? Damn, for some reason I thought he was the middle child. He has big middle child energy.

(Also why they namedrop Galveston like that? I googled it an it’s just a town? Why, Tim, why?) (At this point he is just torturing me, I know it. This feels personal.)

Anyways, this episode, you guys! I have thoughts! (And they are very hard to put in order so please excuse any jumping around at this point.)

The birthscene is great and can we just for a moment think about 25 year old Eddie hugging his mother in law so very lovingly? He’s so happy here. So soft. (Also I’m about to turn 25? I would not be able to deal with being married right now either?)

And yes, this episode confirms that Eddie has killed people, and while I know it was selfdefense, I just, it’s very weird to me because these characters have become so real to me, so to see one of them kill without a care is kinda off-putting. (This is why I will always consider Eddie grey and why I can never consider Buck white - because he had been planning on joining the Seals meaning he had to consider the possibility of killing and has probably learned to kill (Do you think that’s why he’s so non aggressive? because he knows he could take everyone down?))

I’m just gonna come out and say it: anyone who says Eddie isn’t impulsive has not watched this show. In fact I’d even say he is more impulsive than Buck.

Yes, Buck will do weird and dumb shit on a whim because the thought just crossed his mind and it sounds good and he doesn’t think about the consequences, but just does it. (I could make a case that our boy has ADHD but this is not what this meta is about)

But Eddie? Eddie is impulsive in his reactions. Everytime he is in distress (emotional not physical) he stops thinking about consequences and just starts reacting. Especially if it’s about a child!

Shannon is pregnant - lets sign up for the army.

Our child has a developmental disorder - lets stay in the army.

My parents want to take away my child - lets move halfway across the country.

(Not allowed to talk to your best friend? - lets go streetfighting.)

Eddie probably thinks these things through to a point and he mostly has a plan, but he is so reactionary. He is like a raw nerve and that’s what makes him impulsive.

It’s why, instead of letting them pull him out enough until he can radio, Eddie cuts the fucking line. Because this is a child, this could be Christopher and Eddie needs to be enough to save him.

(Are you crying yet?)

I’m not gonna talk about Afghanistan except to say: ah, Eddie. My man, you are enough! Always!

(But maybe that was his guilt over killing talking? Maybe he does feel bad?)

Also why did the woman emphasis ‚Staff Sergeant‘ like that? Was that an indicator that Eddie got promoted?

Also Eddie the fucking boy scout / alter boy / goody goody two shoes trying to get up because of a superior office despite lying in a hospital bed (and not even having been cleaned from his blood yet, urgh that’s gotta itch!)

Sidenote: in light of 3.16: do you think Eddie still talks to Mills, Binder, Norwahl and what all their names are or do you think that would be too hard for him? I’m leaning toward not talking but I really liked Mills (she reminded me of Buck and Lena, tbh.)

And now, for our regular scheduled program: Shannon and Eddie.

First of all I loved all of it. I loved that we could really understand why Shannon left. I love how much they clashed but still had those little moments of recognition.

And look: The juice box scene was very rough. Eddie is likely currently suffering from PTSD, definitely having a culture shock and here is his wife who is barely holding on as well and she just wants to leave, she can’t deal anymore and both of them are so desperate and wow, just wow. Kudos Ryan and kudos Devin Kelley, I’m sad we won’t see you again, but I do hope I’ll see you somewhere else one of these days!

I’ve talked about their relationship a lot already, so I’m not sure if I have any fresh takes but I will remind you of a few you already know:

Eddie is not in love with Shannon after Afghanistan (haven’t decided yet if he was in love with her in the birth scene)

Shannon *needed* Eddie to open up to her just as much as she needed to be open with her

Eddie was not able to be emotionally intimate with his wife

they cared about each other very very much and I do think they tried

they are family (remember what I said in part 2 about Eddie talking to the 118 about Shannon? This here proof that he definitely defended her actions at some point to them as well)

Shannon was in an impossible situation with her mother and a special needs child and likely burned out and just … she needed someone to have her back, which Eddie couldn’t because he himself was suffering from PTSD at that point

I’m still mad as fuck, they killed her off! If they give Eddie any other endgame romance that isn’t Buddie without like two seasons buildup after killing off HIS WIFE I will riot!

Which brings me to Eddie and his parents which was rough, you guys!

Look, as someone who worked with children I can see where his parents are coming from in that scene but also wow, just wow.

How cold and insensitive and fuck, no wonder someone is repressed as shit, that was horrifying and I really can’t talk about this more than to say this hurts and also explains too much about Eddie. (Can we have the locker room three bonding about having horrible parents in Season 4, please, Tim? And can Buck come too? We could do it at the loft?)

As for his conversation with Christopher, obviously it was cute as fuck and also I love how he began the conversation talking to his child like every adult male I have ever met talking to a kid about something he knows will go over it’s head (��It’s like we’re talking about completely different people.“). (Okay, maybe not just adult males. Maybe we all talk like that around children sometimes. I know I do.)

I really liked how they reinforced once again that Eddie wasn’t a natural at being a dad (compare how he holds his son to season 1 Buck who most definitely knows how to handle a child (And now I’m wondering if him being good at it was always planned or a „Oliver did a great job the first time we had him interact with a child so we decided to make it a trait“-thing. Damn you, Tim, for making me think so much!)) but became good at it because he was willing to learn and he cared! Dads of the world (also Moms, we aren’t all super duper either) take note!

That being said the conversation also left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth because, one, it felt a little petulant of Eddie to turn around and leave for LA, the way it was presented here and two, Christopher at that point didn’t understand yet what Eddie was actually asking him about and it felt a bit like manipulation. Please everyone, do not consider a conversation like that consent from a child. Any adult can get a child that age to say anything they want because children just want to be liked (It’s why when children are involved in criminal proceedings it’s so hard to interview them because children follow every suggestion because they think this is what the adults want them to say.).

Now, let’s talk about puppy!boy for a second!

In 1.05 Buck tells Abby: „no one is good when it’s personal“ - well guess what buddy boys, this one is very personal for one Evan ‚Buck’ Buckley, thank you very much, that boy is losing it.

Okay, let’s compare it to the episode before and then two episodes later:

Now, obviously the situation with Maddie was a little different. Mainly because this was a hostage situation and he realised (because Seal training, remember?) that there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her right then but then again … neither was there in Season 2 when Maddie was in danger and he still acted far more frantic in the car with Athena than he did here? Like the only stupid thing he did was drive a little dangerously this time?

And of course, two episodes later we see Bobby react when Athena is in danger and while we don’t see him be frantic we do see him get ready to kill someone, so, yeah!  It could of course be inconsistent writing or deliberate to keep the attention and worry more on the people in the call centre but since they haven’t pulled anything like that before I’m leaning more into my clowning.

I mean, we also have to consider that Buck was Eddie’s lifeline here, he was supposed to be the one to get him out, so he feels extra responsible but then again we have Hen make this comment about having two cut lines, which of course says that Hen thinks that one: whatever reason Eddie had to cut his line will definitely be considered a just as valid reason by Buck to cut his line but also: BUCK WOULD DECIDE TO DIE DOWN THERE WITH EDDIE. Sorry for the yelling, but no, I do not think Buck acted out of character in 3.14.

(Which is very irresponsible, you guys. You are fathers! What happens to Christopher when ya’ll die in a well somewhere in fictional California? I can not live in fictional California! I will not be taking care of your child, Buddie! Figure it out yourself! No. We are done here! This conversation is over!)

(Okay, not quite, because I actually don’t think that would be realistic! More realistic: Buck giving Eddie his harness so he can get pulled out first and then dying down there alone.)

Like I’ve said in the at the beginning: Oliver might be pulling an Andrew Robinson. It might have just been the way they thought Buck would act if he lost Eddie while being responsible. It might have been fever making him delirious (which, btw, kudos! Because you can hear how sore his throat was and omg, that shirt hurt!)

Never mind I found the heavy focus on Buck in an episode about Eddie fairly curious - which is why now it’s video-talk time!

First: I will not bear Shannon slander around here! Yes, she was in way less scenes than Buck, but the actress also was never a main character, so ya’ll need to remember there are like 2 scenes of them as a family. And they probably didn’t have the time, money and energy to film some just for a montage - especially considering that the three of them have hardly been a family together, because first Eddie was gone and then Shannon, so…

But yes, we do have to admit that Buck was in most scenes, and yes, we do have to consider the implications of this which are: Buck is definitely a vital member of the Diaz family and when Eddie says: I’m always gonna come home to my family, this now includes Buck and I hope we see him tell him that at one point in the final cause I need him to!

And then of course there is also the radio scene in the beginning (which lead to one of my proudest tumblr-moments to date in form of this post!) which did ease us into the concept of Bucky-boy being a member of the Diaz family! So it is canon now?!

One thing I wanna point out about the school scene in the end in regards to this is that little boy’s question. Sure they used it as transition to calling Christopher his good luck charm but, uhm, why did they have Buck ask about it in the beginning then? Why have this sort of unnecessary callback to the beginning of the episode unless they want us to remember Buck?

Something to ponder for the next week, I think.

Also the episode sort of reinforced my believe that we don’t really have to worry about Ana Flores. Sure, this scene was also a chance for Eddie to redeem himself in front of a teacher he screamed at just a few weeks prior but the only interaction they had was her asking that question at the end and Eddie hardly looked at her.

(Also, if they really wanted to reinforce Eddie being interested in her, they could have had Carla make a dig about it in the beginning, even with Christopher there, but they didn’t, which to me confirms that they don’t really know what to do with her yet.)

At least Ryan was finally taking his shirt off again, I know that’s like catnip for ya’ll.

Episode 3.16:

One thing that really confuses me is how many people seem to think this episode points out only how important romantic relationship are and I don’t see that?

I mean, I see that it’s one of the points that is being made but I don’t think it’s the only possible reading of this episode.

To me it was about connection and family more than anything.

It begins actually with Eddie (the person most connected to Buck) being the first person to decline Buck’s invite, not in favour of spending time with a romantic partner, but because he has a prior commitment with his son! (And several other people, including, but not limited to, at least 2 other nine year olds. For Eddies sake I hope less than 5 or that Carla is around because he is a single father and children unionise by nature.)

And it continues with Buck by forming a connection to Red and then bonding with Maddie.

And can I just say, before we delve more into all of this, how proud I am of Evan „Buck“ Buckley after this episode? Just look at him!

This is Buck at his lowest, lower even than during the lawsuit, because back then he had something to fight against, which he doesn’t have here. Because he can’t stop other people from leaving him (that is the whole point of the episode after all) and what does he do? Instead of going full on Buck 1.0 and just finding the nearest interested person to form a meaningless physical connection with to substitute for the lacking emotional intimacy he craves so much, he goes to a bar alone and befriends an old man. And spends the rest of the episode bonding with him. And bonding with his sister. And addressing his issues, both with his sister and his family. That is huge!

(Which is why I’ve decided him not wanting to date? Symptom of his deeper issues, yes, but also a sign of growth.)

And I’ve seen some people on my dash talk about how, compared to most other 911 episodes, this episode has a fairly bleak ending, which one I agree with, two think is actually a theme with Buck centric episodes, but three don’t actually mind / think is a bad thing? It’s fairly realistic after all.

To get personal one second: I remember being a very idealistic 20-year old intern working in the foster system five years ago and my mentor, who was less than 10 years older than me but fairly badass teaching me something that technically is a well known proverb but that I, a idealistic 20-year old, had not actually understood until I worked there and saw it myself: manchmal muss man den Karren an die Wand fahren - translation: sometimes you have to let the trolley drive into the wall, which means sometimes you have to let things play out till it’s natural end before you can help. Or to use an english proverb: Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom.

And this is what I’m thinking - no, hoping - is happening here. Because, look, you don’t just solve like 20 or more years of abandonment issues in one episode and considering what a big part of Buck’s character from the moment we met him they have been, that would have been unsatisfying to watch anyways! What we need right now, in terms of Buck’s storyline is catharsis. A cleansing. Buck needs to get to his worst (which I think he did or he will, once he talks to Abby) before he can begin to get better, can begin to heal, can begin to learn that he is not alone. And that is not a bad thing!

And yes, I know our boy is suffering and we along with him because we all love Evan Buckley to death but sometimes you gotta let things break so you can fix them instead of just putting tapes over the holes you see (haha, see what I did there?).

As for the episode, here we go:

I wanna start with something else real quick which is Hen’s subplot which I found important. Because they addressed that hey, she went through a trauma not to long ago as well and maybe she is not as okay with it as we thought?

Also it shows Bobby’s double standard again, but then I think he would have reacted differently if the guy had died and it was evident Hen realised she should never pull a stunt like that again. And maybe I’m giving Bobby a bit to much credit right now. Urgh.

I do wanna say, while Chimney seemed fine at the end with what went down we did see his reaction in the next episode and honestly he is mad, it’s just that Hen is his best friend and Chimney lives on the principle of forgive and forget so there.

Now I do really like the rope rescue scene because it was badass and also because Eddie seems so done in the beginning and Bobby just looks at him like: well, he’s not doing it alone and he’s probably not gonna cut his rope!

(Also notice how Eddie cut his rope willingly but Buck’s was cut for him? What does that mean? - For reals, I may see the connection but I can’t yet make out the meaning.)

But I did appreciate Hen’s comments about them being their best guys a lot! I kind of want an episode like they used to do on Star Trek were they focus on background characters and give us the way everyone probably sees Buddie as some kind of superhuman supermen who pull the craziest stunts and somehow make it! And now, let’s get into Evan!

First of, I now Cindy was meant as a parallel to Abby but I also think to Ali because Abby didn’t leave because she couldn’t handle the fear but Ali did. So there, a sort of Ali Martin mention! Thanks for listening, Tim.

But of course with everything else Cindy is quite the parallel to Abby from the way she just left and Red never really got closure, just like Buck.

What is interesting though is that Red, different to Buck, doesn’t want closure. He wants to remember the good times and imagine what could have been. (This could of course be due to the fact that his life is about to end.)

Buck on the other hand side really craves closure, and look, I know when we first learned she is definitely coming back I was really unhappy about that, but since then we learned they run into each other which makes it fine to me. Because I thought we’d have another instance of Buck running after Abby for validation and I did not want that. But he’s not actually running after her, it’s just a coincidence so I’m happy for him getting a chance to have closure, finally.

And this is were I think the episode proofs that it’s not about romantic love as the only way to be fulfilled, first because after talking about Abby Buck asks „Do you think I’m lonely?“ which is not about romance at all (had they wanted to make it about love it would have been: „Do you think I’ll find love again?“ or something). Also the conclusion of this episode is Maddie telling Buck he is different to Red because he has her (and in general those scenes between them, yes, they were also about Abby because she was another person Buck has been left by but just like they mention a best friend in terms of people Maddie left behind it is not about the romantic aspect, it is about people he loves in general), because he has a sister and she won’t leave him again - so there, familial love! The pinky swear! The importance of family. (see 3.11)

Also had it really been about love you know what would have happened since then? We’d have seen Buck calling Abby! Maddie would have said something about Buck still being young and having time to meet someone! Instead Abby and Buck run into each other by accident and Maddie makes a pinky swear to never leave again, so yeah, I just think sometimes we need to wait for how stuff plays out before we judge.

Now of course I wanna mention the pool scene as well.

Firstly, I know we already traced a lot of what Buck says at the end back to Eddie and the grocery store but did ya’ll here Chimney say: „Seems like your making this about yourself“ and Bobby implying the same thing, so yeah, I wonder if it was them quoting Eddie or if this is what everyone is supposed to be thinking or if it was just a setup for the breakdown at the end.

Also let’s talk about Eddie real quick here, because I found it really weird that they didn’t reference his platoon from Afghanistan here? Like they could have easily have him say „I’m not in the army anymore but I still talk to my old platoon.“, especially since we MET them one episode before. So either they didn’t think of that, they wanted to reinforce the fear Buck has or Eddie may just be as lonely as Buck?

(Guess which way I’m leaning?)

(Look, children are great but they are no substitute for friends and adult conversation, just saying!)

But I love how hard Mr. Stoic and emotionally unavailable tries to reassure Buck, tries to be there for him. And also did ya’ll notice how, once Eddie speaks for the first time Buck’s focus never strays from him. Hen and Chimney and Bobby talk as well but it seems as if Buck never looked away from Eddie. (Which, definitely get that, he looked good here.) Also how Buck stresses the “That better not happen to us“ - man, what conversation could he be referencing? Man, I wish I had memorised this show by now so I could tell you about two scenes that happened in 3A between Buddie where the topic of us was emphasised a lot but alas I don’t and I can’t.

What the pool scene also proofs once more is that the 118 just like an actual family has a lot of communication issues because Hen and Chimney not being in contact with Tommy or so is a completely different situation but because of their bad communication they don’t realise that this is something they need to explain to Buck because they think this is about Red.

Bobby doesn’t get it either tbh.

But we all know who does, look, I said it about 3.03 and I’ll say it now: Eddie knows Buck. Eddie understands Buck. And Eddie is on the path of realising that Buck needs him to say the actual words and not just let his actions speak! And my my if all of this pays off I will be one happy camper! (Hums Rihanna “We found love in a hopeless place”)

On a sidenote I hate that Red pegged Buck as a hothead because he really really isn’t! He’s just excitable and sometimes struggles with expressing himself and that frustrates him!

Also I never noticed the apartment had an outside area? did we know this? There is a grill?

Also really would love to see Gigi / Dana Strattford again, I liked her, she’s pretty! (But not like to date one of my guys, Tim, kay?)

(Also whats Officer Williams up to these days? Asking for … a friend?)

And to round this episode up: Oliver still looked so sick at times and they put a lot more makeup on him than they normally do? Usually you can see the slight scaring on his face but this episode you couldn’t but you could see the tears / snot mixing with all the makeup when he was crying and honestly, not his best look! (He still makes it work, though! Just saying, I miss 1.02 / 3.02 / 3.03 Buck, I know these episodes hurt but visually they are peak!)

Episode 3.17:

Was that episode amazing? Yes.

Am I still cackling about Oliver Stark having too much leg? Yes.

Did I love the Frank mention with all my heart? Yes.

Was Michael’s meet cute in an elevator less gay than any Buddie scene we got so far specifically any in 2.01 also known as their meet-ugly? That was a rhetorical question, you guys.

As for that comment I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. I mean, if you’re a single guy and you get invited out to fifth wheel at a double date with your sister and her boyfriend and his best friend and her wife, no matter how close you are, you will feel awkward so of course you invite the other single guy who happens to be your best friend who happens to be part of the friendgroup AND the team you’re working with making this a definite team/family/work - outing.

That being said: it took me 23h to come up with a reasonable explanation for this comment and I did scream at my laptop and pause the episode after it was made and I have been thinking “Buddie” confirmed about 100 times since then!

Also, they just spent a shit ton of time together, right? Like, if Buck’s there than so is Eddie and if Eddie is there than so is Buck and I’m clowning and not calm anymore!

Maybe “Buck invites Eddie” can be our always?

In other news this episode has absolutely no relevance for anything, but I love it deeply.

And we made it you guys! It was slower going but it worked!

Thank you to everyone who read so far and thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging and commenting! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much this means to me!

(Also please keep doing that! I too am an excitable puppy looking for validation!)

Now, to tag:

@angelcamael, @greyhello, @ipleiade, @the-family-we-choose-118 @chimbuckleys @sevensoulmates

#buddie meta #buck meta #eddie meta #911 meta #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #season 3 #textpost #mine #meta #buck #my meta

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curly-bangtan · 5 years

Text

Heatwave Drabble #2: needy

[Heatwave // Godless] [Drabble Masterlist]

Pairing: fwb!Taehyung x reader

Summary: Lines between you are dangerously blurred.

Genre: drabble, domestic fluff, angst, fwb au, roommates au

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: (graphic?) mentions of smut, needy!Tae acting like your boyfriend when he’s not your boyfriend, confusing feelings 😬

A/N: I love this couple, ok bye.

‘Y/N’ Taehyung whines. You turn to pin him with hooded unimpressed eyes. ‘I’m horny.’

The two of you have been sleeping together for a few months now, it’s a carefully crafted, consensual agreement between two adults, two close friends. You have sex whenever you want to, no strings attached, friendship unaffected, none of that exclusive bullshit or godforbidden feelings. Just sex.

Sometimes you go a week without fucking each other, other times it’s five times in one night. There really is no strict schedule, it’s a casual, open relationship.

No, not relationship.

Friend(s-who-have-sex)ship.

After that club night, you both decided that there is an undeniable sexual tension between you that hovers beyond your platonic dynamic, yet it is purely physical. Neither of you are seeking anything more, neither of you want to give up your promiscuity for each other.

Thus births… Whatever this is.

‘And what about it?’ Sunday afternoon, you’re lounging on your cream L-shaped couch like vegetables, watching your favourite episodes of The Office. Taehyung is reclined on you, his head cradled in your arms in place of a cushion, and he’s stroking your hand a little too sweetly. Cuddling while watching a show together isn’t uncommon between you, though he is almost always the one to instigate it.

At your apathetic response, he pouts, nuzzling into your bosom. This is exactly the baby behaviour he know that drives you wild; since when have you been about to resist such a docile sub?

This is the same guy who asks you to call him daddy.

‘Why are you being so cold?’ From the corner of your vision, you see the puppy eyes he’s giving you. You have to resist rolling your own. He can be so needy sometimes.

‘We fucked this morning.’ You state, watching the television intently, purposely not giving him the attention he’s trying to lure.

It was a great fuck, in fact; several toys were used and you both came twice. You can still feel the phantom of his cock shoving inside you while he used the vibrator on your clit. Shuddering, you try not to bring up that memory in your head again to prevent your own arousal from perking.

‘That’s never stopped you before.’ Huffing, he snakes an arm around your waist and plays with the hem of your shirt. Of course, he’s not even paying attention to the show anymore. It irritates you when he requests to watch The Office with you then does not even look at the bloody screen for the most of it.

‘You should get a girlfriend, then, if you’re so horny all the time.’ Your tone isn’t bitter, but you guess it’s a little blunt.

Because you’re not his girlfriend. You’re nobody’s girlfriend. Ever.

Taehyung sits up abruptly at what you said, the warmth of his body instantly peeling off your front. His repulsion to the G-word is even physical as he scoots away from you. ‘I don’t want a girlfriend. Dating is so much effort, first you have to take them out to nice places and get to know them, then you have to see whether you’re actually compatible, and then you meet the friends and family who may or may not like you. That’s so annoying!’ He whines, unconsciously palming his crotch that appears to be slightly stiff.

True. Relationships are so demanding and complicated. Why would you wish to always have someone constantly asking your whereabouts? Why would you willingly be tied down to a single person? Why would you give them so much of yourself when they could one day just take this power and crush it in their hands? Relationships are a societal construct, forcing monogamy down your throats and telling you that if you aren’t in a committed relationship, you’re lonely.

You’re a single woman held down by no man, you can fuck whoever you want, and you like it that way.

But thinking of which, you realise you haven’t been fucking a lot of other people lately besides Taehyung. Or even anyone. The last guy must’ve been… That accountant from the bar with a foot fetish… Which was over two weeks ago.

A shudder courses up your back, the claws of that frightening thought digging up your spine.

‘Why don’t you booty call that waitress you were boning for a while?’ It’s a trick question, to see whether you’re also the only hole he’s been putting it in recently. Because if you are, then you two are falling dangerously close to monogamy, the greatest bane of your existence that you avoid like the plague.

‘Nah, ditched her weeks ago. She was too vanilla in bed, didn’t do me like you.’

Of course no one does him like you, and no one does you like him. That’s why you’re friends with benefits - because you know what each other likes the most. So why even bother trying to look elsewhere for sex when you can find it in the room next door?

But this is getting weird. Maybe you should call up that accountant again, hopefully he isn’t too offended that you ghosted him.

‘Why are you asking about her anyway? Are you jealous?’ That word strikes at you like an insult. Taehyung is wagging his brows annoyingly, toes jabbing at your ribs the way your brother used to do, so you flick his forehead harder than you normally would. Wincing, he clutches the sore spot like you threw a rock at him or something. Dramatic.

‘Of course not. I’m never jealous.’ You scoff. Y/N? Jealous? Come on, he’s making you laugh. ‘I was just curious, don’t flatter yourself.’

But it seems your response is a little too much what he wanted to get out of you as he continues to wind you up. ‘Aww, Y/N.’ He pulls you in by the waist and nestles his face in your hair. ‘You know you’re my favourite girl, right? Since day one, you’ve been there for me and I’ll never forget that. No one night stand or blonde waitress can ever replace you, okay?’ When he leans in to kiss your ear, you squirm away, groaning in disgust.

‘Taehyung!!!’ You yell out. ‘Being all wet and sappy will not get you laid right now. Stop it.’

‘Hey, I wasn’t even thinking about that anymore, but if you’re implying that there’s a possibility that I'll get laid right now…’ That irritatingly smug smirk is plastered on his face, and though it absolutely vexes you, it doesn’t fail to make you smile too.

It’s not that you don’t want to have sex with him because since when have you been the one to say no to Taehyung’s thick meatstick? It’s just that…

‘Well, I’m not really feeling it, I’m sorry. I’m getting a really bad period cramp, I’m due tomorrow.’

There’s a subtle warmth creeping beneath Taehyung’s cheeks at your openness to talk about your womanly cycle despite years of you doing so. He’s used to it by now, but even he’ll admit, he’s not the most mature of men his age. The image of blood flowing out of one of his favourite body parts on you is… not nice.

‘Oh.’ Now the unenthusiastic mood makes sense. ‘I’ll get you some ibuprofen from the pharmacy?’

Sidling next to you back to his previous position between your lap with his head reposed on your sternum, Taehyung feathers his fingertips on your arm the way he knows you love. Although it only lasts a couple of days, he knows you always get quite down during period, not eating much and curled up in your bed to nurse your uterus pains. As your roommate, he sees it as his duty lift your mood the best he can. He must remember to get you some ice cream later.

‘It’s ok, don’t worry. Medicine is for the weak, you know I never take painkillers.’ You grumble moodily but brush his hair back from his forehead, his head tilting up in wave of your motion so he can look at you.

‘You’re a mad woman, painkillers don’t make you weak.’ This stubborn steadfast trait of your personality drives him mad sometimes. Why can’t you just take the bloody painkillers so you won’t have to endure the cramps?

‘I’m not a pussy. No, thank you.’ You glare down at him with a challenging glint to your eyes. Taehyung gets the sudden urge to wrestle you and shove those stupid pills down your throat.

He won’t be able to convince you, that’s one thing for sure after living with you for two years.

Change of tactics then. ‘Do you want me to rub your tummy?’ The dance of his fingers on your skin does not cease, he feels you stiffen under his touch when it reaches your bicep.

‘Are you going to turn it into some sexy massage roleplay?’

‘Not a bad idea, actually…’ The suggestion shoots an excited flare to his groin, but then you knee him in the side. ‘Kidding! We’ll do that next time. Just let me ease those cramps.’

When you don’t protest, Taehyung turns to his side in your embrace and reaches his big palm under your shirt. Your skin, smooth as silk, allows his hand to glide as if on ice across the span of your torso. A sound almost like purring sounds from your throat, and he cannot resist looking up to see the efflorescence of content on your face.

As he kneads on your pained navel with the ball of his wrist, you shut your eyes and rest the plush of your cheek atop his head. Maybe it’s the giver in him but when you hum, ‘That feels so good,’ he can’t help preening in pride.

‘What can I say, I’m good with my hands.’ Your arm around his neck tightens into a headlock until he splutters an apology that he doesn’t really mean.

Taehyung tries not to let his mind wander to dirtier places when you groan at the comfort of his massage. It’s weird how you have this effect on him now, how a simple noise from your lips can coax his arousal just like that. He has always found you attractive before all of this, yet would never dare think of you in that way. And now? You two could be gaming at midnight together, but then a brush of your thigh the wrong way would be enough to set each other off, and you will be fucking for two hours straight. He has never felt this magnitude of sexual attraction to anyone in his life before, and the fact that you’re his roommate and closest friend just adds to the convenience.

‘Okay, but why do I feel your boner on my leg?’ There’s a hint of amusement in your voice. Maybe even delight, but he could be reaching.

‘Just ignore it, it’ll go away.’ Knowing you’re not in the mood for sex also puts him off, though the message takes a moment to get relayed to his dick. Taehyung continues to rub your cramping stomach as if his erection isn’t aching to be touched right now. He will deal with it later in the shower.

‘You’re being really sweet… Today one of your needy affectionate days, huh?’ When your lips brush against his forehead, a tingle he purposely ignores shoots to his cock.

‘What do you mean? I’m always like this.’ Taehyung glances up to catch you piercing him with appreciation in your stare.

And he’s suddenly overcome with an urge to kiss you. Except that would be weird because you don’t kiss each other unless it’s during sex.

Friends don’t kiss when the benefits aren’t being reaped.

It’s the hopeless romantic deep in his heart that’s goading him. As much as he likes to sleep around, fuck random bitches, it’s in his blood to have such boyfriend tendencies. He really can’t control it even when he doesn’t mean it.

So maybe he is being particularly needy and affectionate today…

He probably shouldn’t when it could send you the wrong message. It’s a dangerous game you play, this. And although he should trust you and shouldn’t doubt your aversion from developing any sort of feelings, the risk still remains dangling above your heads.

Who’s it going to fall on first?

No, it won’t fall.

Because you’re just friends who fuck. Where’s the complication in that?

At the end of the day, he cherishes your friendship above all else. After the betrayal of who he thought were his brothers, you were his fresh start, his new home. The way he’s latched onto you, that kind of bond… No sex is worth losing that.

You’re twirling his hair in your little finger, tugging the tufts as well as his attention ever so slightly. You have a particular fixation on his hair, Taehyung realises. You even went to the barber with him the other day to make sure they don’t fuck up his hair; you were so reluctant to even let him cut it, saying you liked it that long and messy.

Your personal handgrip when he’s eating you out.

Circles his palm is rubbing into your core falter when you begin to brush your lips over his forehead. The slow pecks you plant on his bangs voids his brain of thought.

‘Stop kissing my hair if you want my boner to go away.’ It’s a challenge not to grind his still painfully stiff cock into your thigh, that guy down there really has a mind of its own.

‘Seriously..? Me kissing the top of your head is making you hard?’ Disbelief ridden in your tone, Taehyung’s skin now feels barren when you remove your lips.

‘Hey, I don’t control these things! Plus I was horny to begin with…’ He flushes.

You should stop banging so often, really.

‘Wait also, have you been using my shampoo? Your hair smells like berries.’ You sniff at his scalp like a curious hound.

Taehyung looks up at you sheepishly.

09/09/2019

@shookpreme @taetaeobsessed @tangledsparkles @nonexistentfucks @evilkookie @nbiased95 @shimtatae @taehyungmakesmeoof @itscalledgayhoney @tahaing @deliciouslydisturbed365 @expensive-bangtan-girl @jwlmnbt @herakimkim @dnyad @kaepjjang365 @expensive-bangtan-girl @gingerpeachtae @taexxxiiaa @spring2787 @monixreal @askingtheimportantthingshere @icyi-sky

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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years

Text

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 7)

Bakugo x Reader

Who let the dogs out!

Words : 2489

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

You had your headphones in. Listening to a podcast while you did your daily physical therapy. You were almost done. Only a week left and you could technically be cleared for hero work. Key work being technically.

It was something you and Bakugo had been discussing at great length recently. For obvious reasons he would be totally okay if you retired from being a hero, but he knows that he can’t put you in a bubble nor should he keep you from your dream job.

You were proud of him for even considering it an option. He understood what it was like to be a hero, and he understood how hard it would be to quit. He also knew first hand how hard you had worked to get to where you were and it’d be a shame for your career to but cut short.

The thing was.... you weren't sure. You absolutely loved being a hero, but you were sill having a hard time with the psychological repercussions of being shot. No matter how hard you tried you still freaked out over loud noises and you hated going outside alone. You just had this weird irrational fear that they were going to come back and finish the job.

You hadn't voiced these worries to anyone. You were nervous that if you said it out loud they would think you were unstable and then you would be permanently benched. Doomed to desk jobs and paperwork.

You wrapped up your workout and headed back to the apartment. You kept your headphones in while you walked which Katsuki scolded you for constantly. Saying it was dangerous and anyone could sneak up on you. But you couldn't help it. Drowning out all the noises of the city that made you jumpy was imperative to make sure you got home without having an episode.

Usually once you got within a mile or two of home you would just teleport. Ever since you woke up your range had been much larger. You decided that it must be like a muscle. The more you used it the stronger it got. Teleporting all those girls out that night had pushed you into the miles range now. Although you have no idea how you ever managed 15 miles, let alone how you did it on accident.

Today was a nice day though so you decided to just walk.

You were probably a block or two from home when a hand came out of no where and grabbed your shoulder. Panic seized you for a few short moments before your instincts kicked in. You raised your arm and swung out to hit your attacker. But it did no good because they just caught your arm with one hand and ripped your headphone out with the other. “And that is how easy it would be for someone to attack you when you walk around with headphones in.”

You rolled your eyes at the familiar red head as you teleported to the other side of Kirishima. “And that’s how easy it is for me to get away... Did Bakugo ask you to do that?”

He just chuckled, “No he didn't, but he did send me to tell you his phone got destroyed today while he was chasing down an arsonist. He’s going to be late tonight and might possibly pull some extra hours and work a graveyard shift.”

You pouted slightly at the thought of being home alone the rest of the night. “Well I was going to make some dinner, you are more than welcome to join.”

Kirishima narrowed his eyes at you, “Say we can order in and I’m down. No offense but I’ve heard stories about your cooking and I’m not really in the mood for food poisoning.”

You leaned over and started slapping his shoulder repeatedly, “Bakugo is a fucking liar! I am a perfectly good cook! He just never lets me!”

Kirishima started laughing as he acted like he was going to put you in a headlock, “Whatever you say Y/n. Lets just order anyways. It’ll be my trea- AHH!”

Kirishima let go of you in an instant as you looked down to see a small german shepherd that was probably no more than a year old with his teeth sank into Kirishima’s pant leg. “What the hell! Where did he come from?” He shook his leg a few times. Not really bothered by it considering it didn't break through his hard skin. When he finally shook the dog off it immediately backed up until his butt was practically between your legs facing Kirishima almost as if it was daring him to come any closer. “Well would you look at that? I think you have a friend there Y/n.”

You tentatively reached down and scratched the dog on his head. He softened at your touch and his tail started to wag. “He must have thought you were trying to hurt me... He doesn't have a collar.... Maybe I could -”

“Y/n so help me if the next words out of your mouth are take it home.. Bakugo will flip.”

You smirked, “Well thats what he gets for leaving home alone. You know I’d call and ask him, but wouldn't you know it, I don't think his phone is working.”

“Oh boy... you’re lucky he loves you.”

It took no coercion to get the dog to follow you home. In fact all you had to do was say “Come on boy” and he followed you the whole way home like the literal puppy dog he was.

Once you got him inside you made a little makeshift bed for him out of and old blanket of yours. You used a damp towel to get some dirt off of his paws. Katsuki was very compulsive about keeping a clean and organized home. If he came home to muddy paw prints on his hardwood floors it would be game over.

You sat on the floor and the pup ran over and plopped down in your lap. His tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth while his tail was going a mile a minute. “Who’s a good boy? Huh? Is it you? Are you a good boy?”

He flipped over and showed you his belly and gave a soft woof as is to confirm that he was in fact a good boy.

“He already seems to be attached to you.” Kiri had a worried look on his face.

“Well good because I’m already attached to him too. And I’ve already decided I don't care what Suki thinks. We’re keeping him.”

Kirishima just rubbed his neck, “If you say so. I’m going to order us some food. You want me to order him some white rice or something?”

“Oh! Good idea! With chicken too! Make sure you tell them no seasoning though. Completely bland. We don't want him to get an upset tummy. We need to make a good first impression and I don't think pooping on the floor would be the quickest way to Katsuki’s heart.”

“Well if there's anyone who knows the secret access codes to Bakugo’s heart it’d be you. Just do me a favor and don’t get your hopes up too high. I know he loves you and all. But you and I both know he doesn't like surprises, or messes.... or anything that cant take care of itself...”

You snorted, “Well I guess we’ll consider this practice for a baby.”

Kirishima dropped his phone... “Baby? Did you just say Baby? You're not like...” he motioned to his stomach with wide eyes.

“Oh no! Sorry no I didn't mean like right now. But you know eventually I’d like to have kids. This could be good practice for him.”

He looked relieved, “I hate to break it to you I don't think Bakugo has a paternal bone in his body.”

You shrugged, “I didn’t think he had it in him to be a good boyfriend either yet here we are. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He seemed to think that over a bit, “Yeah I guess that’s true. I always knew you two would end up together though. He never shut up about you at UA. He was always, ‘Did you see y/n today at training? She looked so good!’ ‘Hey do you think if I asked y/n to study she would think it’s weird?’ and my personal favorite , ‘If one more fucking extra looks at her ass I swear to god I’m blowing the place up!’”

Your eyes widened, “Okay fist of all that is probably the best Bakugo impression I have ever heard. Spot on my friend. And second of all.... NO FUCKING WAY? Was he really like that? All I remember is him pushing me around and yelling at me in training.”

“Oh he was smitten from day one. He could hide it from everyone but me.”

Your food arrived and you and Kirishima continued to swap stories from UA. You telling him all about the behind the scenes gossip you and Mina would get into about him and he told you about all the times Bakugo almost asked you out but chickened out. It was a good night.

He walked outside with you as you let your new, still nameless puppy go potty. Then he took off to go home. Saying he couldn't wait to tell Mina all the new things he learned about her. You just chuckled and waved goodbye.

Now it was time for the tricky part. Every time you would crawl into bed the puppy would hop up as well. He would curl up to your side and it was so cute. But you couldn't push your luck so you would pick him up and put him on his blanket on the floor. Then a few minutes later he was back in the bed.

The cycle continued for a while before you finally just got on the floor and cuddled with him until he fell asleep. Then you gently go up and snuck into bed. Not that it mattered because right as you fell asleep he jumped up and laid down near the end of the bed. Keeping your feet nice and warm. Everything was going alright until around 5 am when your boyfriend finally got home.

“OI! What the fuck is this?”

You bolted upright to see your dog now standing over you protectively, head bowed low as he followed Bakugo’s every movement with his eyes.

“Hey don't yell! He doesn't like it.” You gave the dog an affectionate pat on his head and he seemed to calm down a bit.

“Oh well forgive me if I hurt some random ass dogs feelings. Where the fuck did it come from? Who does it belong too?”

You started to look anywhere but at Katsuki. Mindlessly petting the dog as your nerves settled, “Well Kiri walked me home as I expect you asked him to and we were kinda play fighting and this dog came out of no where and basically attacked Kiri to get him away from me because he thought he was hurting me. But he's actually really sweet and he seems to really like me and -”

“Y/n... what the fuck where you thinking? Do you know how much responsibility a dog is?”

“Well Katsuki I was thinking that now that I’m basically at home alone all day, stressed the fuck out may I add, that it would be nice to have some company. Not only does he like to cuddle but he’s also a perfect guard dog! Wouldn't you feel better on overnight shifts knowing that he’s here to help keep me safe?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Y/n....”

“Please Suki... We’ve already bonded. Honestly I think he would really help with my anxiety. I haven't really told you because I didn't want you to worry... but I’ve been a little... uh nervous.. leaving the house. And I feel like It would be easier if I had him with me. Pleaaaaaaaaase”

He sat on the edge of the bed and scratched the dog behind the ear, “Have you named it yet?”

You beamed at him, “No not yet, I wanted your help. I’ll name him Lord Explosion Murder if you want I don't even care I just want to keep him...”

He smirked, “That won't be necucesaay... What about Lucifer? Because I swear this dog is the devil. He tried to corner me in my own apartment when I came home.. You were right about him being a good guard dog.”

“Does this mean we can keep him?!” You practically held your breath while you waited for an answer.

“Uh I guess. But you’re the one that needs to take care of him. I already have to take care of you. I’m at my limit..”

You lunged at him and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Oh my gosh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love you so much! You're the best boyfriend ever!”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. So what are going to call him?” Katsuki climbed in bed next to you and pulled you to him. The dog settling in by your feet again.

“Not that Lucifer isn't a great name babe but you know I was kind of thinking about Zuko. He’s our favorite character from Avatar the Last Airbender and he’s a fire bender kind of like you so... I don't know. I guess I just kind of liked it.”

He huffed, “I don't bend fire y/n. My sweat explodes. Hence the name Lord Explosion Murder.... but yeah.. I guess I could get on board with that.”

Later that morning you could hear the door softly close as you assumed Katsuki took Zuko out to go to the bathroom. Already doing exactly what he said he wasn't going to do. When he came back inside you could hear him talking to Zuko as if he were a human.

“Alright so I’m only letting you stay because she likes you. As if she really thought I was going to tell her no. She took three bullets for me and thought I’d tell her she couldn't have a dog... yeah right. I’d give her ten dogs if that’s what she really wanted.”

The sound of him filling up a bowl of water echoed from the kitchen, “But don't get too comfy because you have a job to do. You need to be the man of the house when I’m not around. And don't for a second think you can steal my cuddle time when I get home at night. You have her all damn day. When I get home it’s my turn... You got that?”

There was a faint sound of Zuko panting as if they had gone for a run, “I guess you are kind of cute..”

#bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugō #bakugo imagine #bhna #bhna bakugou #bhna imagine #bhna x reader #mha #mha bakugou #mha imagines #mha x reader #my hero academia

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imagitory · 4 years

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hmm, how about an au where the dursley's don't treat harry horribly but there's like, still some obvious tension? like idk, maybe aunt petunia is more prominent here due to her weird relationship with the wizarding world and her sister

Hmm…let’s see…

1) Back in 1980, Lily not only wrote Petunia a letter about Harry’s birth, but asked to speak to Petunia about something very serious. Petunia, naturally, purposefully ignored the letter and its request. Lily was hurt by the rejection and considered writing another letter, but James instead decided to speak to Petunia himself. When James showed up on the Dursleys’ doorstep, Vernon angrily tried to eject him from the premises, but James stood his ground and kept his temper as best as he was able. “Petunia, listen to me,” he urged her, “Lily is scared for your safety – we all are! She wants you to know what’s happening in the Wiz – our world, so you and your family will be safe! I know you hate magic, but I know you want your family to be safe, just as much as we do! If you don’t want to talk to me, I get it, but…just hear Lily out! Please!” Several days later, Petunia decided to meet with Lily. The two rode their respective children in their prams to the visit, and Petunia laid eyes upon Harry for the first time. Lily told her about Voldemort’s rise and her and James’s work with the Order. Although the two sisters still were very different people, Petunia was startled by the level of concern and genuine love Lily expressed for her and, despite herself, came to realize that Lily had never seen her sister in that “second place” category that her parents might have. Lily offered to place protective enchantments on the Dursley home, which Petunia refused, but Petunia didn’t reject Lily’s offer to stay in touch and even asked her to be careful.

2) This unfinished bridge toward reconciliation made it so that when Harry lost his parents and were sent to the Dursleys, Petunia at least felt immense guilt and obligation toward raising Harry for Lily’s sake. Vernon resented Harry immensely and Petunia still subconsciously favored her own son and distrusted Harry’s magic, but she still treated him like family. Petunia insisted on giving Harry the smaller of the two bedrooms upstairs (because Harry was always smaller than Dudley, and thus needed less room), and taught Harry to keep his “oddities” to himself so he could fit in with Dudley and his friends. Rather than Harry being hidden from everyone’s view, Petunia merely tried to make Harry appear and act perfectly normal. Vernon, who hated magic even more than Petunia, would insist on Harry being “normal” too, in the misguided thought that they could “stamp the magic out of him.” Harry would always know deep inside of himself, though, that he was not normal, and would get frustrated about Petunia and Vernon trying to tamp him down all the time.

3) Because Dudley would know about Harry’s “oddities” and Petunia would feel more of a flawed overprotectiveness toward both children, Dudley would grow up thinking he had to “keep Harry out of trouble,” and so would likewise try to follow both of his parents’ examples, giving Harry a hard time for “acting weird” and making up lies around the kids and teachers in school to try to cover them up. Dudley would still be “the golden boy” of the family, but less explicitly – it would be more insinuated in how Vernon would always compare Harry unfavorably to Dudley or in how Petunia would use Dudley as a positive example. This would prompt some resentment in Harry toward Dudley, but Dudley himself would only see it as him doing what his mother wanted him to do, which was to look after his cousin. Their relationship would sour dramatically when Harry started attending Hogwarts, as Dudley would hate that Harry rejected all of the “help” and “protection” he and his parents had given him throughout the years and Harry would be fed up with Dudley acting like he wasn’t ashamed of him and trying to make him conform just to make things easier for him. Nonetheless both boys would still feel some lingering familial affection for each other, since they grew up together and were in a way each other’s first friend, even if the friendship was unhealthy. It would be that affection that would fuel Harry to rescue Dudley from a dementor in his fifth year and that would prompt Dudley to completely reform himself by Harry’s sixth year, becoming thoroughly versed in Wizarding culture so as to better support Harry, much to his parents’ dismay. Eventually Petunia became more accepting of Dudley’s involvement in the Wizarding World, but only to the extent that she would ask the bare minimum of questions to get by – if she didn’t need to know something, she’d purposefully ignore anything magical in her general vicinity. Vernon meanwhile would often turn purple with anger and go very quiet whenever anything magical was brought up at all.

4) When Harry received his Hogwarts letter, Petunia and Vernon initially tried to conceal it from him, but upon Harry snatching hold of the letter and reading it, Petunia tried to persuade Harry to reject the invitation. After all, they’d planned that Harry and Dudley were already going to Smeltings together, right? Didn’t Harry want to go to school with Dudley? It’d be awfully inconvenient to return Harry’s school uniform and remove him from the school’s roster so abruptly. Harry felt the pressure to reject the invitation, but couldn’t accept it – he tried to persuade Petunia that it might be easier for him to keep his “weirdness” under wraps if he knew how to control it, but that argument went nowhere. After not receiving any reply for multiple weeks, Professor McGonagall paid the Dursleys a visit herself, in person. When she came to call, Vernon ordered Harry and Dudley to stay in their rooms upstairs and not make a sound until they came to get him. Dudley and Harry, however, disobeyed Vernon and crept out to the landing to listen in, where he heard the Dursleys talking to McGonagall, insisting that Harry didn’t want to go to their school and that he would be attending school with his cousin, as was proper. The meeting had been cold but relatively calm until McGonagall brought up James and Lily – the memory of her deceased younger sister brought out such a teary rage from Petunia that she ordered McGonagall to get out and to never come near her family again. McGonagall bringing up Harry’s parents, however, made Harry come downstairs at last. “You knew my parents?” he croaked, staring at McGonagall. Petunia and Vernon both tried to force Harry back upstairs, but McGonagall and Harry both ignored them, solely focusing on each other even as Dudley watched them apprehensively from the door frame. McGonagall stared at Harry, a slight shine in her eyes despite her severe face, and she said, “…Yes.” Even though Petunia was kinder to him in this version of events, she still almost never discussed her sister or her brother-in-law – the most Harry had ever gleaned was that they were also “odd” like him, and that they’d been killed by an evil man with similar powers. The thought of someone actually knowing them – of having liked them – was one Harry had always hoped might be real. Petunia and Vernon once again tried to throw McGonagall out of the house, but this time, Harry interjected, “I want to go. I want to go to Hogwarts.” The decision horrified all of the Dursleys, Dudley included, but McGonagall smiled proudly, saying that if Petunia and Vernon simply dropped him off in London that Friday, the Hogwarts gameskeeper, Hagrid, would be happy to escort him to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies.

5) Because of the shift in dynamic between Harry and Petunia, which resulted in him not being neglected and abused but prompted him to see his magic as a burden and something to hide, Harry is less starved for affection and more interested in following his own path, screw the haters. Therefore, when the Sorting Hat was placed on his head, it considered the mind it was reading very carefully, before finally shouting, “SLYTHERIN!” The Boy Who Lived – still a brave, hot-blooded, selfless young man – was Sorted into the same house as his schoolyard enemy, his mother’s ex-best friend, and worst of all the man who had killed his parents. Rather than treating his placement as an obstacle, however, Harry shrugged it off: he’d already been sort of held at arm’s length all the time back in Muggle school because of his magic, so being treated with suspicion was something he was used to. At least here he could actually do magic without being shunned for it! Instead he merely stayed true to himself, casually shrugging off his house’s negative reputation and falling back on his usual level of sass when he was down. His good humor, determination, courage, and noble heart resulted in him making many friends, including Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Theodore Nott, and Millicent Bulstrode. Even Draco Malfoy, who Harry still disliked immensely, eventually became a bizarre frienemy, not just because of their shared house and them being on the same Quidditch team, but also the faint similarities Harry noted between Draco and his cousin Dudley. Snape would still resent Harry quite a bit, but in Harry’s later years, Petunia would finally open up a bit to Harry about Lily’s and her past, and he’d learn from her about Snape’s connection to Lily. After she opened up, Harry rather kindly opened up about his experiences with Snape at school, and upon hearing about Snape’s bullying, Petunia went full-on Mama Bear and wrote Snape ten very long, mean letters, including one very loud Howler that Dudley helped her figure out how to use, which arrived in the Great Hall in Harry’s sixth year and screamed at Snape about how ashamed Lily would’ve been of him. Harry was very embarrassed about the whole episode, even if he felt some faint schadenfreude at how beside himself Snape looked. The flood of letters did temper Snape somewhat, however, and made him treat Harry with nothing but distant silence for the rest of the school year.

AU Ask!

#ask me #au ask #harry potter #petunia dursley #lily potter #lily evans #dudley dursley #vernon dursley #opinion #oh boy here i go #fan theory #AU

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rachaelslibrary · 3 years

Text

2020 Wrap-Up

What a year 2020 was. And I don’t mean that sarcastically. Negatives were being laid off from work, canceling my Hawaii vacation, canceling my wedding, cancelling my 3 week honeymoon in Europe, and just generally being in a shitty mood for 300 out of the 365 days in the year. Positives were going back to work, not having to plan a wedding, and using our wedding/Europe money to buy a house instead. We move in a few weeks and life is literally insane.

Another positive: I had a really good reading year this year and ended up finishing 39 books. Considering my good reads goal was only 21, I’m very happy with these results.

So enough venting, here are all the books I read in 2020.

5 STARS

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab - really good and super unique premise, I enjoyed it immensely and it was very impactful, though I don’t know if it’s one I’ll reread because I was just exhausted and felt so bad for the main character throughout the story

Jade City by Fonda Lee - literally my FAVORITE book this year. It was so good I can’t stop thinking about it. It would be a great tv show on HBO or something similar, and I’m going to read the second book as soon as I can.

Skyward (#1) and Starsight (#2) by Brandon Sanderson

Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas - I’m not sure why I gave this five stars to be honest, other than it’s one of my favorites in this series and has a special place in my heart

Where the Lost Wander by Amy Harmon - I was not expecting to like this book as much as I did but I was hooked. It follows a family on the Oregon Trail, which I’ve always been a little fascinated with since I grew up in Oregon and we spent a whole year studying it in elementary school. Parts of it are a little rough, but I still thoroughly enjoyed and couldn’t put it down.

The City of Brass (#1), The Kingdom of Copper (#2), and The Empire of Gold (#3) by S.A. Chakraborty - I literally can’t say enough good things about this series and it wrapped up really well. GO READ IT. The first two were rereads and the third book came out this year

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (#2), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (#3) and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (#4) Illustrated Editions by J.K. Rowling reread

Morning Star (#3) and Iron Gold (#4) By Pierce Brown - Seriously one of my favorite series of all time. Can book 6 come out please??? reread

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

4 STARS

Tiny Pretty Things by Sona Charaipotra - I picked this up because I saw it was going to be a show on Netflix and was interested. Read the book first and liked it a lot, but the show is literally AWFUL. I made it through an episode and a half before I gave up on it.

The Black Kids by Christina Hammonds Reed - soooo good and insightful. Very eye-opening and there are a lot of really insightful thoughts about police brutality and white privilege in general

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

Trail of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse - first book in The Sixth World series, I’m planning to read the second soon

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden - another series that I plan on continuing this year

Court of Lions by Somaiya Daud - second book in the duology and gets a higher rating because it was a lot more compelling and wrapped up the story well

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - Don’t hate me for giving this 4 stars, I reread it in preparation for midnight sun and was pleasantly reminded that the books are ten times better than the movies even though they’re still cringey as hell. Reread

Incomparable by Brie and Nikki Bella - my only nonfiction read of the year

House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City) by Sarah J. Maas

Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas - reread

3 STARS

Sherwood by Meagan Spooner

Mirage by Somaiya Daud - first book in the duology and it’s a good start, but the second blows it out of the water, reread

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare - reread

The Selection (#1), The Elite (#2), The One (#3), The Heir (#4) and The Crown (#5) by Kiera Cass - super predicable but still a nice easy read. The original trilogy is better than the two sequels

Alex and Eliza by Melissa de la Cruz - reread after Hamilton came out

The Dark Prophecy (#2) by Rick Riordan

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

2 STARS

Eragon by Christopher Paolini - honestly this book was a struggle to get through, and if I hadn’t been given books 2 and 3 in the series, I probably would’ve just DNF’d

1 STAR/DNF

Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer - I tried soooo hard to get through this but Edward’s thoughts were way too creepy. I DNF’d it around page 150

#books #reading #sarah j maas #leigh Bardugo #Harry Potter #2020

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