#whats not shown is me sobbing for 20 minutes THE FUCKING MUSIC. JUST KILL ME WHY DONT U

[ambrosykim]

finished trespasser :')

#i will need 3-5 days to recover please respect my privacy in this trying time #whats not shown is me sobbing for 20 minutes THE FUCKING MUSIC. JUST KILL ME WHY DONT U #the last 30 minutes of it was worth the previous 10 hours of me struggling with it bc😭😭🙏🙏 #it was lagging more than usual (around every 30 seconds as if the game just stopped) and my laptop had to be restarted 2x #but. BUT SOLAS.................... #anyways um. i will now make helles twin sister to decompress #nett rambles #nett plays da

[fictionalabyss]

Protector : Despair.

Pairing : Dean x Reader, Sam, Brady, Alex (oc), Abby (oc)

Word count :    2,233

Warnings : Panic/fear,  stalking/following (mentioned), nightmares, protective Sam, scared Alex. Series TW : Domestic Abuse is a constant topic- be it mentioned, or actually happening.

Continuation of this series was commissioned by : @iflostreturntosteverogers

Part 20 of Protector.

Masterlist • Patreon • Ko-fi.

You sat licking your lips and looking down at your phone. Today had been a day from hell. Scariest day of your life since the day your ex husband had shown up at your door and beat the shit out of you. And this time, there was no Dean to make it stop. You’d been home for a bit now, unable to relax, unable to stop your mind from coming up with the worst possible scenarios.

Alex had left school when he spotted Ash outside doing a walk of the perimeter, stood up mid lecture, grabbed his books, his bag and walked out. He knew if a patched member was at the school, it meant trouble. He’d burst into the house almost in a panic, making sure you and Abby were okay, telling you Ash had given him a quick rundown.

Now he was with his sister in the kitchen, keeping her occupied while Sam started on an early supper to distract everyone.

Looking down at your phone, you sighed and scrolled through your contacts before selecting one and hitting call.

“Sullivan and Rothman, how can I help you?”

“I’m calling for Tyson Brady.”

“Name?”

“Y/N Winchester.”

“Hold please.”

It took a few minutes, but then the elevator style hold music shut off and you could almost hear the smile in Brady’s voice when he picked up with a “And what can I do for the biker princess?”

“Hopefully help.”

“What’s wrong?” his tone had changed completely and you could almost picture his lawyerly frown.

You licked your lips before filling him in. “Remember when Dean was arrested?”

“Yeah, Bakers bullshit stunt to buy time, what about it?”

“Baker told some guy who I was, that I was Dean’s wife. He was a guy from a rival MC or gang or something, I don’t know… but-”

“But?”

“He’s following me.”

“You’re sure?” You nodded even though he couldn’t see you, and it was almost like he just knew before he asked “How?”

“Someone sent Dean pictures of me and Sam in the front yard yesterday. He said the only thing other than the pictures was a PObox. There was no name, no nothing-”

“So you don’t know it was him.”

“Not for sure, no..”

“You got the PO number?”

“Uh, no. Dean didn’t tell me.”

“I’ll call him for that..” you heard rummaging and then quiet. “That can’t be it, though..”

“No.. today, I saw him.”

“The guy? Where?”

“Grocery store. He was following me, watching me.” you swallowed, looking down again as tears filled your eyes once more. “I’m scared, Brady.. It was just me and Abby, and he was there, he- he just stood there and watched us.”

“When?”

“About an hour ago? I called Sam crying, he ran to the store and the guy was just gone. What if it’s him who sent the pictures to Dean? It means he knows where I live. Dean’s flipping out, I’m scared he’s going to do something stupid in there and I’m scared this asshole is going to get me out here, and- I- I didn’t know who else to call but you..”

“Hey, relax, okay? Look, you did good calling me. I’m going to officially represent you, okay? I’m not just Alex’s lawyer anymore, I’m yours now. Look, I’m gonna grab the next flight in, okay? Might be a few days, but I’ll come down, I’ll meet up with Dean's lawyer and see what we can find out about these pictures, and I’ll file another report against Baker.”

“I’m so fucking scared…”

“I know. I know. You’re not alone, are you?”

“No. Dean made Sam move in a few days ago.” You glanced up as Brutus padded into the room. Patting your thigh, he came over and rested his head on it, head tilting to encourage you to scratch behind his ear. You were happy to obliged.

“Okay. That’s good. How’s Alex?”

“Freaked out too. I sent some MC guys to make sure he was safe at school, it freaked him out and he rushed home.”

“Look, I’m about to check for a flight. I see you when I get to town. I’m also going to reach out to Dean’s lawyer. If I find out anything before I see you, I’ll call.”

“Thanks, Brady. I don’t know where we’d be without you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. See you soon.”

As you hung up, you ran your thumb along the side of your phone. You wished Dean would call again, just so you knew he was okay, that he hadn’t done something stupid. “Please..” you whispered while staring at your screen. “Please please please..”

“You okay?” You looked up at Sam standing in the doorway, and he sighed. “Of course you're not. Did you call Dean’s lawyer?”

You shook your head. “Brady. He’s uh- he’s gonna come down. Get up Bakers ass again, talk to Dean’s lawyer for me..” you bit your bottom lip and started to chew on it. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Being here. That day. Today. Brady. Take your pick.”

“You’re family.” he gave you a soft smile. “Go on up and take a warm shower. Dinner won't be ready for about an hour, so you’ve got time. I know it’s hard for you to relax, but-”

“I’m pregnant, so I need to try. I know.” Sighing, you dropped your phone onto the coffee table before making your way to the stairs, Brutus following behind you at first but he stopped to sit next to his master. “Sam?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.” without another word from either of you, you made your way up the stairs and into your bedroom. Once the door shut behind you, you leaned on it and looked around. Pictures on the dressers, his clothes, his things, this was the hardest that it had hit you that Dean wasn’t here, he couldn’t protect you. Letting yourself slide to the floor, you gave yourself a few minutes to cry.

You were running, running, always running. Running from something, something you could feel more than see. A feeling, one of dread. Terror. The kind of terror that left a pit in your stomach and made you want to throw up, but you couldn’t, you had to keep running. Running through the streets, running through trees, through houses, the scenery always changed but you weren’t getting anywhere, you weren’t getting any farther away from it. You were running with something hot on your tail and no end in sight.

Tears streamed down your face, sweat clung to your skin as you pushed yourself harder, faster, frantically looking as you ran, looking for your safe place. Looking for Dean.

You skidded to a halt in the endless aisles of a supermarket when you came face to face with a man you’d only ever seen. He was massive, giant, built like a tank that could never be taken down. He took up the whole aisle, you couldn’t see anything, not even light beyond him. He was darkness and dread that swallowed it all up, and he had his eyes set on you.

You turned and ran, back down the way you’d come. A glance behind you showed you that he was following. Not running, but keeping up all the same.

And then you slammed into something. A hard body that sent a chill of terror down your spine.

You were shaking as you looked up at him, a face you’d hadn’t seen in years, not even in your worst nightmares. “No..” you shook your head frantically trying to get some distance from him. “No.. no.”

“Where’s my son?”

“Please…” you begged, stumbling as you stepped back and fell to the ground. You tried to scurry away only to bump your back against legs. Dread and terror now towered over you. The man who tried to kill you once, and the man who wanted to do it now. “Please.. This isn’t real.” you  sobbed, backing against a shelf and curling up as small as you could. “You’re not real. You’re not real. You’re not real..” the words on repeat as all light was blocked out and your world got dark. It suddenly felt like you were falling.

Despair.

There was no help, no one was coming to save you this time. They had you trapped and cornered and it would hurt even more than the last time, you knew that. You were surrounded by darkness and pain that wouldn’t relent and no one was coming to save you this time.

This was it.

He’d finally kill you.

“Please..” you sobbed before letting out a pained cry.

You hear a crash and barking, then feel someone grabbing at you. It puts you in a panic, you start screaming, louder and louder, pushing, fighting as you get pulled up to sit.

“Hey! Hey, relax, it’s me, it’s Sam.” You keep fighting, eyes now open and darting around in fear. It’s your room, you’re in your room but is it real this time? Is this really Sam holding your shoulders. “Hey. It was just a bad dream, I’m here, I’ve got you.”

You looked at him, searching his face for truth. “Are you-”

“I’m real, I’m here.” A large hand cupped your cheek, his attempt at grounding you again, proving to you that he’s in fact right there to save you from whatever had put so much fear in you. Your hand went to his chest. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingers proved to you he was real. He was real. He was here, and he had saved you. You didn’t say a word, the tears started pouring out again and you let him wrap his arms around you. You sobbed against his shoulder. “It was just a bad dream.” he soothed, hand smoothing down your hair and down your back before coming up and repeating the movement. “It was just a bad dream. I’ve got you.”

Hearing the creak of the floor boards, your eyes opened again to see Alex in the doorway, his eyes full of worry. “Mom?”

Sam lets you go, even though you’re still shaking, even though the tears haven’t stopped yet, he lets you go. “Alex.” you breath on a sob, and he’s rushing in to you, all but throwing himself against you as you wrap your arms around your son, clinging to the back of his shirt as you cry.

“You scared me, mom. I heard you screaming and I-” You duck your head, burying it against his shoulder. “I haven’t heard you scream like that in so long. Not since dad.”

“He was there.” you whisper against him. “He was there, him and that guy.. They- they had me trapped and no one would help me.” you were shaking with sobs again. “I couldn’t get away. I couldn’t get away.”

Alex started to rock you, side to side like you had done to him when he was small. “Yeah.” Alex nodded. “I remember those dreams.” Alex sighs now before whispering. “I have them too.”

It's a few minutes of quiet between you, Alex gently rocking you while Sam quietly watched, his brow still furrowed with a worried frown. “I know you’re probably too old, but-”

“I’ll stay, mom.” He pulls away now, still holding you, but now he’s looking in your eyes. “If you need me, I’ll stay. Just like Dean always did for me.”

You sniffle, hand now cupping his cheek as you smile at him and nod. You’re so proud of him, proud of this brave and strong man he’s growing up to be. “I love you.”

“I love you too, mom.” he smiled. “Let’s try and get back to sleep, okay?”  You nodded, both of you letting each other go as you laid back, letting yourself get comfortable again, as Alex got in next to you.

“How about I get Abby.” Sam says quietly from where you find him standing by the door. “You need your family right now.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

He gives you a smile before he walks out. A moment later, you hear him coming back up the hall with a sleeping Abby in his arms. You pull the blanket down, and Sam lays her between you and Alex so she’s nestled right in the middle. Pulling the blanket up, Abby just shifts and rolls so she’s facing Alex, making him smile at her before he closes his eyes.

When Sam pulls away from the bed, you look over at him. You don’t realize you’re afraid he’ll leave until he speaks in a soothing tone and promises “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, I promise.” You watch him as he walks around to the foot of the bed and gets comfortable in Dean’s armchair by the closet. “Get some sleep.” he says as he tries getting comfortable.

Once you’re sure he means it, that he isn’t leaving, you wrap your arms around Abby and duck your head so your nose is in her hair and breath in the scent of her watermelon shampoo.

You’re not alone.

You’re not alone.

You’re not alone.

He can’t get you.

He’s not real and you’re not alone.

Finally, you close your eyes again and pray for better dreams as you feel the weight of Brutus jumping onto your bed and curling up on top of your feet.

*If you like this, please consider supporting my work*

Tagging :  Protector : @jaycc7983 @volleyballer519  @meganlpie  @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo  @londoncallingbutiwontpickup    @valsworldofcreativity   @samsgirl93 @delightfullykrispypeach​

Dean - @akshi8278​  @adoptdontshoppets​   @evyiione​ @karikatz12481​ @idksupernatural​  @deandreamernp​

SPN -  @sandlee44  @just-another-busy-fangirl  @mrswhozeewhatsis   @deanandsamsbitch  @deans-baby-momma  @thebescht @67-chevy-baby @supraveng   @musiclovinchic93 @holyfuckloueh  @ksgeekgirl   @hobby27 @maddiepants  @roxyspearing @onethirstyunicorn​    @fandom-princess-forevermore     @kalesrebellion   @deanwanddamons​   @thoughts-and-funnies​

All tags - @sorenmarie87 @artemisthebadger @winchesterprincessbride @iflostreturntosteverogers @akfonkin @rebelminxy @foxyjwls007 @onethirstyunicorn @shaelyn102 @supernaturalenchanted  @kazkingdom   @babypink224221  @emoryhemsworth    @ilovefanfic86​  @pie-with-hunters​   @anaelsbrunette​   @feelmyroarrrr​  @letsdisneythings​   @cdwmtjb8​   @notyourtypicalrose​ @xostephanie​ @ilovedeanspie​ @defenderrosetyler​ @amandamdiehl​

#protector #dean x reader #dean winchester fic #reader insert #biker!Dean #dean #deanfic #dean winchester #biker au #au #dean au #spn #spnfic #spnau #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural au

[randommarveler]

My Long List of Thoughts About Endgame Cuz IDK Who To Talk To

I’m happy about:

WE GOT THE FUCKING HUG WITH PETER & TONY I’M SCREAMINGGIGNGINGIGN

How they implemented the old movies really well

The jealous look Steve gave Pepper like omg Stony stans unite.

Joe Russo having a cameo as gay omg.

Lil Doctor Strange’s hand being all shaky like benedict really went all out with the nerve damage

How Nebula was a huge part of it and not a minor character

“I…am…Iron Man” LIKE FUCK YEAH YOU ARE. Just Tony alone holding all the infinity stones STRONGEST AVENGER RIGHT HERE THAT’S WHY THOR WASN’T ALLOWED TO DO IT.

I think when Steve had Thor’s hammer was when the entire audience was cheering and fuck yeah, it doesn’t look normal I’m not used to it but fuck yeah.

How emotional and impacted everyone was but the dusting. Like Nat was still crying after 5 years. Wait, does this mean everything is like set in 2023? Or at least around that time?

That bit where all the females were basically together protecting baby Peter

Quill’s really bad singing omg.

Morgan. That’s it. That lil bean has stolen my heart. The moment I saw the little chair I was crying (ok I was crying the whole time, not an exaggeration, I got emotional a lot during the beginning dusting, Nebula + Tony playing, E V E R Y T H I NG) I can’t wait to see her grow up x 3000. How dare they take tony away from her. If I wasn’t crying in a scene, I would probably start crying in it even if it wasn’t sad because omg Tony got his baby Morgan. “Mom told me to go save you”

Pepper fucking Potts. I saw the lake and knew that Tony was there (Gwyneth lowkey spoilt that) and like her in that suit was everything.

Tony’s death. I’m actually, in a sad way, happy that’s how he died. I wish he could’ve grown old like Steve but for the way he got killed, I’m happy. He saved the universe. He saved so many people

America’s Ass.

The montage of them trying to figure out how to get the stones.

“On your left” Sam was done so well for the movie. He got like a solid 7 minutes but it was really good. How he was the one to let the whole audience & Steve know that they were back, was everything. I sobbed some more (I was crying the whole time ok? Leave me alone) when I saw the lil case with the shield.

Putting in Peggy, Howard, Frigga, Jane & 2012!Avengers was so emotional and hilarious

Valkyrie was great and amazing

Loki being featured made me really happy

The smirk on Steve’s after he got the sceptre. I can’t believe he said “Hail Hydra” that literally was so much.

The amount Carol was shown. It wasn’t “OMG SHE’S THE HERO AND WILL KILL THANOS OUR QUEEENNN” like, she showed up when necessary. When it worked. Also, she was helping out another planet so it makes sense.

Steve & Peggy finally getting that dance. Like I saw the car, heard the music and cried. Because I knew that was the dance they wanted.

How little Bucky was in it. It did piss me off because he didn’t have enough scenes with Steve, but at least we get a show right?

The whole Howard exchange.

Wanda being a total badass I can’t.

Tom Holland’s performance and part of Endgame was utterly amazing. The instant kill mode was great. How he reacted to Tony dying. Like omg this time it was roles reversed except Tony was gone for good.

The funeral was perfect? The lake, the people there. The flowers. Proof that Tony Stark Has  A Heart.

I’m pissed at:

I FUCKING KNEW THEY WERE LYING ABOUT THAT SCENE. ANTHONY’S FACE SAID IT ALL. THEY DID HAVE THAT FUCKING SCENE YOU LIAR.

Thor was basically a joke for being fat. I know that it’s just a shock that he doesn’t have rock solid abs now, but it’s sort of being rude to people with that figure (honestly, it made me feel worse about myself, because everyone would laugh about it). I get that he’s depressed and he has every reason to be fat but like using it as a joke all the time was a lot.

They only used some lines or bits for fan nostalgia or other things. It seemed forced (some bits more than others)

“You used the stones two days ago” ok but when? Like literally Tony was in space for more than 20 days, the maths doesn’t add up.

We barely saw Bruce, just Hulk-Bruce, which is disturbing

The beginning song with the opening credits

I couldn’t actually tell that it was Stan Lee and that was his cameo

When talking about time travel stuff, DOCTOR WHO wasn’t even mentioned?

Killing Tony, Steve & Natasha.

Carol’s haircut…honestly no. I wished the sides were cut a bit more so it’s more like the comics.

Shuri coming with the outfit she didn’t even have in Infinity War pissed me off because everyone had the same thing from when they were dusted.

Cassie being older. Like, I’m not ok with that? She kinda looks 15 instead of like 13 though.

All of that…is canon. Like Tony is actually dead. Steve actually is old and gonna die soon. Gamora, Nat & Vision aren’t there.

That beginning was so quick. With Thanos being killed so quickly. Just I was shooketh.

Thanos can actually cook? Like woah. Didn’t see that coming.

The film was…a lot. You could easily cut out a lot of scenes that weren’t even necessary? I’m sad, happy & pissed at the film. There was so much that was probably there because Steve & Tony were going to DIE. Like steve holding thor’s hammer, check. Tony having a kid, check.

No end credit. Like why the fuck wasn’t there one? The cinema people told us to clear out because there wasn’t one. I wanted to stay but wasn’t allowed to.

How unrealistic was that ending dance though? Steve would’ve stepped on Peggy’s toes omg.

How convenient it was to be able to time travel with the quantum realm and that shit.

What the fuck did Loki even do with the space stone? Where is that sneaky boi now?

Where does the MCU go now? You can’t top that.

I’m sad about:

Everything, this whole film

The cheeseburger bit

There’s so much more but my mind has only remembered these details. 

#marvel #avengers endgame #endgame #spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #Tony stark #iron man #Robert downey jr #rdj #steve rogers #captain america #chris evans #thor #chris hemsworth #natasha romanoff #black widow #scarlett johnasson #clint barton #hawkeye #Jeremy renner #bruce banner #hulk #mark ruffalo #scott lang #ant man #paul rudd #nebula #karen gillan #rhodey

[joons-expensive-gurl]

Lost Stars - Part 9

The music pulsates throughout your body, the vibrations rippling from your feet to your head. You were currently encased in Tae’s arms as you danced along to the music that was blaring out in the speakers. It wasn’t too late, and you’d already had a few shots.

It was then he emerged from the crowd. Tae’s grip on your waist tightened, he kept your head on his shoulder so you wouldn’t turn and see the person behind you. He glared darkly.

Then he snapped out of it. He smiled.

“Jungkook!” He exclaimed, trying to make his voice as real as possible. 
“Hey…?”

You turned, much to Tae’s displeasure and saw Jungkook. You smiled.

“Can I take her for a dance?” Jungkook asked. 
“Uh…” 
“It’s okay to say no, Tae. I know when I’m not wanted.” 
“I’ll dance with you.” Two pairs of eyes snapped towards you, “don’t worry Tae, you’re still my number one. Why don’t you go get some more drinks?” 
“Okay… for you.” He mumbled into your ear, before letting go and pushing his way to the bar.

Jungkook slowly approached you, coming to stop a foot away. He delicately wrapped his hands around your wrists, pulling your arms up to snake around his waist. Once they were in position, his hands slowly trailed down to your waist and he held you close. He swayed your bodies together slowly, despite the upbeat song playing.

“Can you forgive me for being angry earlier?” He leaned close to your ear, so you’d be able to hear him through all the noise.

You only nodded, pulling him closer to you, breathing in his intoxicating scent. Why was it boys always smelt so good? Breathing in once more, you looked up, gazing into his eyes. The lights brightened, noise almost disappearing, the people around you becoming nothing as you became lost in his dark orbs. Time stopped. He leaned close. Slowly, slowly. His lips brushed against yours, teasingly, before he brought them down in full force. The alcohol in your system had taken over, and you found yourself deepening the kiss, becoming lost in him. Lost in Jungkook.

And then time resumed. Your eyes flew open in shock. What were you doing?! He was your step-brother! This was wrong!

Your arms came down to your sides as you pulled away. Jungkook’s eyes slowly opened, looking down at you, confused. You could hear him say something but you’d already moved away, towards the bar to find Tae.

As soon as you found him, you grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the building.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! What’s going on?” Tae cried as you lead him through the crowd of people in the street. 
“We need to go. Can we walk home?” 
“Sure, but what’s wrong?” 
“Please. We need to leave.”

You quickened your pace, still dragging Tae along. Once you’d left Wolf Street and you were in town, you slowed down, admiring the twinkling lights in now closed store windows. Tae walked alongside you, hands shoved in his pockets.

Half an hour later and you were back in the residential area, close to Tae’s house. He had gotten too impatient to wait any longer, pausing his walk and grabbing your wrist to stop you also.

“What’s going on? Why did we suddenly have to leave? Did Jungkook say anything to you?” His eyes were examining yours, looking for any hidden messages youay have for him. 
“Not exactly…” you began. 
“Not exactly? Did he touch you? I’ll go back there and fucking kill him if he did [First], you better tell me.” 
“We… he kissed me, Tae. And I can’t do this anymore with him.” He breathed as you spoke, unable to say anything.

He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest and present itself to you as a final confession. Of course, he’d tried before but it always ended with him backing out at the last minute and making up some lie. He hated being so weak. And now he hated it even more.

“We’re step-siblings for fucks sake. And I don’t want to mess up my moms wedding because Jungkook can’t keep it in his pants. This isn’t fair on me, Tae! I need someone who actually cares about me.”

At the end of your speech, you had began to cry. Tears ran down your cheeks, messing up your makeup. Tae couldn’t believe this. Jungkook had you thinking no one cared enough about you anymore because he was too busy messing up your heart. Tae grabbed your other wrist, holding both up so your arms were bent.

“Don’t you see it, [First]?!” His voice was angry. You’d never heard him like this before. 
“What…?” 
“Don’t you see the way I look at you? Don’t you see through my stupid little picnics and bowing to your every command? Don’t you see how much I fucking care about you?!” You were too stunned to reply. Was he confessing to you? Your mind was too boggled to be sure, “and fuck. Jungkook is going to take you away from me,” he stepped closer, “and I won’t let that happen.” His voice deepened.

It happened in a flash. Tae dipped down, smashing his lips against yours, your mouths moulding perfectly together. Your eyes were wide with shock, tears still streaming down your face. His grip on your wrists was hard, as was his kiss on your lips.

He was the one to pull away, a string of saliva still connecting you.

“Let me be yours, [First]…” he whispered, dipping down to connect your lips again.

This time, the kiss was so slow and passionate. It felt so… right, compared to your kiss with Jungkook that felt so wrong; but it also felt so perfect whereas the kiss with Tae was just… not. When he pulled away for a second time, he analysed your face. Tears. Lots of tears. And shock.

“Tae…” you whispered. 
“Be mine. Please be mine. I’ve waited so long for this.” He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping you’d accept him. 
“You’re hurting my wrists…” 
“Sorry,” he let go, allowing your hands to drop to your sides, “take me, [First]. Please.” 
“Don’t do this, Tae… not now. You’re so drunk. You won’t remember this in the morning. This is a moment you should remember.” 
“Please… don’t… don’t reject me.” 
“I’m sorry, Tae. Now isn’t the time for this.”

You slowly backed away from him, tears welling in your eyes again. His face dropped to complete agony and you walked away. It was the most painful thing you’d ever done.

Once you’d turned the corner, Tae dropped to his knees, letting out a scream of pain. He hugged his chest, leaning forwards as he screamed again. Then he sobbed. He couldn’t control it. He just sobbed. For hours. Until it was truly time to go home.

~^*^~

You gently closed the door shut and crept up the stairs. Your mother and Kijung were cuddled up on the sofa, watching some soap. The digital clock in your room was the only light as you walked in. It read 9:34. How was it so early, still?

Letting out a sigh, you changed out of your dress into some pyjamas and brushed the curls away. You were too tired to even bother with the makeup. Instead, you lied on top of your bed. And you reached out for the bunny that always sat on it. Hugging it close, you began to sob. Your chest was heavy with pain and regret. Everything that had happened tonight was a mess and you didn’t know just how things were going to be in the future.

~^*^~

The next morning was hell. Your mother had decided everyone had to eat breakfast together. So you sat at the table, opposite Jungkook, simply staring down at your full plate of food. Despite what had happened, Jungkook was eating like his life depended on it.

“My, Jungkook have you taken [First]’s appetite this morning?” Kijung joked. 
“I didn’t eat dinner last night don’t blame me.” He grumbled. 
“[First], are you feeling okay?” Your mother asked gently. 
“Fine….. is it okay if I go see Jimin for an hour or two? I need to talk with him.” 
“I guess, but be home by midday.” 
“Sure.”

Pushing your chair up, you left. Luckily, you were already dressed so you stalked to Jimin’s house and found yourself sat on his basement sofa with a plate of donuts, spilling everything that had happened to him and Jihyun. Both were shocked to find out that the battle for you had already begun, and they also spilled that both Tae and Jungkook had obvious crushes on you. But as good friends, after the conversation, they sat with you and watched spongebob until 11am when you had to leave.

~^*^~

“I like it.” Your voice was monotone. For the fourteenth time, you were passing a brightly coloured dress for your mother and the store owner, along with your two aunts and four cousins who were all standing in the same dress as you. “You’ve said that about everyone.” Your mother scolded. 
“Honestly, they’re all nice. And I don’t really care. It’s not my wedding.” 
“[First]!” Your mother barked. 
“Ms [Last], why don’t we let [First] pick out the next dress, maybe we can make some progress then?” The shop owner suggested and your mother reluctantly replied.

You were shown into the back where all of the dresses could imagine were hung up. And you got to work. Even though you weren’t lying when you said you didn’t care, you still made an effort for your mother. This meant a lot to her and you’d just have to be enthusiastic. After a good 20 minutes, you settled on the dress. It was burgundy in colour and floor length. The top of the dress was pretty basic two cups for the breasts and a thick band of material around the waistline. Two spaghetti straps held it up the bottom of the dress was long, simple. It flowed straight down, no messy lace or tulle. Simple. Elegant. It would suit everyone.

You walked back into the main room after putting the dress on. As soon as your mother saw, she squealed. She announced to everyone that this was the dress for the bridesmaids and everyone began to clap. Finally.

Almost over.

After another three excruciating hours, your mother had finally picked out her wedding dress. Once everything was paid for, you finally got to go home.

~^*^~

“And then what?” 
“I broke the fuck down. I mean… I think I did. I can remember crying for ages.” 
“Aw dude.” 
“What do I do, Jimin?” 
“You’ve got to apologise. Ask her to start again… as your girlfriend. But first you have to put Jungkook in his place. As much as those two would work, you work better with her. And they can’t be together. Not with their parents getting married soon.” 
“Put him in his place…” Tae repeated. 
“Yeah. Aggressive. Assertive. Be a man.“

#Lost Stars #Jungkook #Jungkook X Reader #BTS #Queuetan Soneyondan

[witsyo]

WITS 1

I’ve decided to queue up a bunch of writing! You can find it all on my Ao3! I probably won’t link it all, I just wanted to make sure I had that at least once! 

Adrian is so much wiser than any kid his age should be.  In which I only have like four straight characters and one of them’s about to explain how that’s possible. 

Chapter below the cut

Adrian could see the distant lights of town out of the corner of his eye as he stretched his arms out in front of him. Reina was singing quietly to the music playing over the speakers, something in that genre that wasn’t quite lo-fi but was too gentle to be pop. They’d been driving for about 20 minutes, taking a route he wasn’t quite familiar with, but he trusted her to get them back home at the end of it all.

Reina had just shown up in the middle of the living room, squinting at him like she was trying to pick a fight. He’d tried to ignore her and keep playing on his phone, but when it’d been about five minutes and she was still standing there, he’d thrown down his phone and asked what was up.

“Wanna go for a drive?”

“...it’s like ten o’clock at night.”

“So?”

With that stellar logic, she’d convinced him. He had to admit it was never hard for Reina to convince him to do things, especially drives. That was something they’d been doing together ever since she’d gotten her license three years prior. Even a little bit before, to be honest.

“Blue comin’?” he asked as he grabbed his coat.

She’d been quiet just a beat too long. “Nah.”

He was still kind of wondering if she was okay. Drives were normal, and ten o’clock drives weren’t even unusual, but Reina usually spent them chattering about anything and everything, filling the silence and asking him questions and joking around. There was none of that today, just quiet music and the rumble of her truck’s engine.

Glancing over, Adrian caught her glancing over at him. She looked away as soon as she saw him looking, but he narrowed his eyes, dropping his arms into his lap. “Okay, what’s up?”

“Just…” For the first time, he noticed her hands shake as she adjusted them on the wheel. Her nails were painted dark, and he thought she might be digging them into the plastic. “H-hang on, I’ll pull over.”

This wasn’t…. Reina wasn’t usually like this. She was a pillar, had always been stronger than he could comprehend. He sat up a little straighter as she pulled into the parking lot of a silent building, closed for the day with windows darkened.

With one quick motion, she turned off the radio, leaving the car running and leaning back in her seat to take a deep breath. Silently, he watched her.

“I… I can’t tell you how important it is that you don’t repeat any of this.”

���Any of what?”

“Adrian.” He was surprised to see her eyes go shiny, like she was holding back tears. “I’m serious, okay? You can’t tell anyone.”

“Okay?”

“ No one .”

“Christ, Reina!” He forced a laugh over the sudden nervousness constricting his chest. “Did you kill someone? Are you coming out again? Can you even be gay twice, that feels like it’s not a thing.”

Letting out a shaky laugh, Reina half collapsed forward, pulling her seatbelt to it’s max and laying her forehead on the wheel. He couldn’t see her face from here, with her hands still up on the wheel. Carefully, he unbuckled, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder. “For real, man. It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone. Not even if you really did kill somebody, I promise.”

“You know how on my birthday? I was gonna tell you something? But then… well--” Her voice was muffled, and she trailed off into a mumble he could barely understand.

“When Blue called?”

“Yeah.”

There was silence for a moment, and he rolled his eyes. “Okay, quit being a drama queen. The suspense is killing me.” She peeked up at him, and he sensed a smile in her eyes. “C’mon, sit up and face me like a man.” He mimed throwing his fists up, and she snickered, finally sitting up and copying him in removing her seatbelt so that she could draw one leg up to cross over the other.

“So I’ve… Well, I’ve known for a long time? That something wasn’t right? Like… So I look at myself in the mirror, yeah? And it’s not me . But it’s not like some cheesy ad where you see somebody else, yknow? Like those stupid posters in a health class or anything? Like...I don’t know, I’m not broken or anything, I don’t wanna wax poetic and I don’t like…fuck, i don’t even know, it’s just like I look there and like I know it’s me because i do all the same things but then that’s not what I want to see which I know is super normal for likeateenagerandI--”

He felt his eyebrows traveling further and further up his forehead as she spoke, doing his absolute best to unravel what on earth she was trying to tell him. “So you… want to lose weight?”

“No!” She paused. “I mean… well, yeah, that’d be nice, but that’s not what I’m-- what?”

“You sound like you’re trying to tell me you have an eating disorder?”

There was a long moment where she just stared at him. She had a very particular look she liked to give him, a certain ‘what are you, a dumbass?’ sort of look that he was pretty sure was his right as a little brother to receive, and this was a prime example. “Adrian, this is really serious.”

“So are eating disorders?”

“Uh… I mean, yeah, but--”  

“You like already have a therapist, they could probably help you deal with it all? Like I think you’re gross no matter what you weigh.” She was still just staring at him like she wasn’t sure what to do with him. “I’m just kidding. You’re pretty and stuff, dude.”

“Adrian, I don’t--- I eat fine! I’m trying to tell you something really important!” He shut his mouth, sensing her frustration, and gestured for her to continue. “I’d been wondering what the hell is wrong with me for months, probably more like years! And I just put the pieces together, why I… wanted to be something else? But I just… then Blue called, and it didn’t even matter anymore, but I needed to tell someone and you’re the only person I can really trust, you know?”

Secretly glowing at the praise, he tilted his head and asked quietly, “Is it Blue?”

“Yes?” Reina let out a dry, laughing sob, letting her head hit the back of the seat and refusing to look at him. “No? Kinda? It’s so fucking complicated, it feels like if I even say it, it makes it… I don’t even know, just makes it real? I-I… I’m not what she wants, I’m just not . But I love her so much, and I think she would… Ugh! ” She kicked the part of the car in front of her feet, and he watched as angry tears came into her eyes. “I was so fucking ready to risk it. I was going to tell her, and I was going to hope she’d still want to be with me, but if not, it was gonna be okay, I was gonna… I don’t even know, just move on? Be heartbroken for a while and have the rest of my life in front of me? But I really thought she’d even just be okay with it! She’s a good person! But then she just… she gave up her whole fucking family, and she did it for me ! And maybe , if I could have been honest with myself just a little sooner , maybe I could have--”

She was kicking the underside of the dashboard every few words, harder with every hit, and as she cut herself off, she gritted her teeth, and tears started to stream down her face. Going extraordinarily still, she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

“Reina…” Adrian said quietly. “It wasn’t your fault. If her parents couldn’t accept their own daughter for who she is then how could you have done anything to change it?”

“It wasn’t them I was worried about, none of this would have mattered to them . It was just…” Wiping her eyes, Reina shrugged. “Adrian, Blue’s a lesbian.”

“...Your powers of observation never cease to amaze me.”

Letting out the most heartbroken snort of laughter he’d ever heard, she shook her head. “She lost everything for me. She gave up all of her freedom, her family, everything. For me . What if she gave it all up, and now, when she finds out that I’m… that she doesn’t want to be with me, she realizes she gave it up for nothing? What if I stole her life out from under her without her even knowing what she was sacrificing all of it for?”

“Reina, she loves you.”

“Does she?”

They were both quiet for a long time. “Did you… like, did you do something bad? Or hurt her or something? If you cheated on her, like you can talk to her, and if you break up, it’s not like we’d just throw her out on the street.”

“ God , no. I would never,” she said vehemently.

“Then what is going on ?! And why do you keep dancing around it?!”

“Because I can barely even say it to myself! Even months ago, when I wanted to tell you, before everything happened, I could barely admit it! I didn’t even know if I could say it out loud! Being gay is pretty goddamn easy when your parents know exactly what you’re going through! I’m so fucking well-adjusted about being gay that no one ever thought that maybe I wasn’t, least of all me! No one ever thought that maybe it was more complicated than that!”

She stopped, pulling in shaky breaths as Adrian stared at her, wide-eyed. The scary part was, she was absolutely right. He didn’t even remember Reina coming out, it’d always been such a non-event. He had never even considered the possibility, and even now, was having a hard time wrapping his mind around what she was saying, but before he could come to any conclusions, she continued.

“I love Blue. I love her so much. I’d give anything to spend the rest of my life with her. But the problem is me. Blue is a lesbian. She lost her family because she likes women, and I am not…” Her voice broke, and she glanced over, making eye contact for a split second before her gaze dropped back to her steering wheel. “I’m not a woman.”

#writingyo #lgbt #trans oc #trans character #razz and reina are the same person in case that's not obvious