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cumberlocked4everr · 1 year

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Tell Me I Still Have You...

A Sherlock x fem!reader imagine

With his best friend married and a expected father to be, Sherlock is concerned about what's going to happen next. He will experience the absent of John for a while, but he's still got you to aid him on cases and otherwise the daily life. Doesn't he?

Words: 2.9k

Warnings: None really. Mention of Sherlock's "death".

The guests were gliding, spinning and turning around the detective, the music was a little too loud for speaking, and the lights shifted between colors every second. The case had been solved, a man was arrested and taken to the station by Lestrade and the wedding could continue as it should. John and Mary were now a married couple and smiling of pure love at each other. Part of the reason was because Sherlock had just told them of their pregnancy in his usual deduction explaining method.

You were happy for them. They deserved this. Though you couldn’t help but feel a little envious. Not about marriage. That wasn’t so important. Nor that they had a baby on the way. You didn’t see yourself as the mother type anyway. No, it was the affection they had for each other. To have someone who shares your feelings and shows them in public as well as in private. This was something you had never prioritized before, but as you stood here, watching him….

It was difficult to put a word on it. But no matter how much you had tried to push it away, it only grew stronger, like your own body was taunting you. Because having a shot with him was like shooting an apple off a person’s head while blindfolded and said person running. Alas, impossible. It didn’t stop, however, that you were taking a step closer.

“Not much of a dancer either?”

You halted and turned towards the man who had approached you. It was the same guy from earlier. He had taken the initiative first and spoke to you on several occasions when you were otherwise not occupied with John’s friend almost being murdered or Sherlock’s usual rant about everything and nothing. He seemed like an alright bloke, but you weren’t interested in the slightest. But since he was kind, you chatted along with him yet again.

His eyes moved, scanning the room. Not for danger this time, more so of setting the scene. John and Mary swayed close along with everyone else. Although Sherlock enjoyed how things had been, he wouldn’t deny his friend this happiness. And both he, Mary and you had assured him that things wouldn’t change but they had to change. John had a much larger responsibility now as a husband and soon to be father. Even Sherlock knew that. But when John couldn’t trot along on cases, he would still have you. Right? The detective wondered why he asked himself that. There hadn’t been any indications that you were leaving the flat as well. So why was he uncertain of that fact?

Once his sight landed on you, he stopped moving further. You were currently in conversation with Philip from earlier. Sherlock could tell what his job was, his personal life and current living statues before Philip could tell it himself. He believed that living with two cats and working in an office all day wouldn’t be of much interest to you, but here you were, smiling and giggling at something he said. It was as if all the other people disappeared and it was only you and him.

He shook that thought out as soon as it popped in. He blamed it on the curiosity of the future, whether you would continue to stay and help on cases. It was nothing more than that he simply was accustomed to having colleagues he could actually work with.

His thoughts were interrupted when a girl bumped into him. She laughed and mumbled what could have been an excuse without meeting his eyes before continuing to dance. In fact, no one was looking at him. Everyone so occupied with each other he might as well be invisible. Though he was used to not getting the attention or being the center of a crowd except on cases, he admitted that he felt ignored tonight. Especially from his own friends. John and Mary had a somewhat excuse, this being their marriage, but you… You had never denied your fascination over him, and it was often the two of you in situations like this one because you got along. But now, some ordinary, boring he would say, man had stolen your attention.

The song ended and a new one started and in that moment, Sherlock had made a decision. If he were to just stand in the middle of the dancefloor, he might as well leave before he disturbed more people with their dance by being an obstacle in their way. But first, he had to get out of this crowd.

To be honest, it had been a long time since you had been as bored as you were right now. Philip rambled on about something at work but you had stopped listening long ago. Your eyes led you back to where you had originally been staring. Sherlock was still there, but he looked like he wanted to flee the scene. You apologized to Philip and left him before he could say more.

“You okay?”

The question caught Sherlock off guard. He hadn’t noticed you coming up to him and his expression seemed to worry you. “I’m fine,” he said quickly in hope to ease your mind.

“Alright.” You looked at each other before you both moved away, the silence of conversation getting uncomfortable.

“Do you want to dance?” Sherlock asked the question before he could think thoroughly before doing so. He expected you to say no but found himself surprised when you said,

“I thought you’d never ask.” You gave him a smile that warmed him in a different way than the room filled with people did. Sherlock found the corner of his lips curving as he held up his hand.

Yours was not too warm, nor too cold. Just the right temperature to his own and he couldn’t deny that it fitted rather perfectly in his grasp as he drew you closer to him. It felt as time moved slower when he did. Even surrounded by so many, his cologne still found its way to you. It had the same effect on you as it had for many months. Soothing, protective…

“A penny for your thoughts?” Sherlock asked after you had begun to sway to the music.

You tilted your head. “Short of deductions, Mr. Holmes?” The sarcasm wasn’t hidden in your question. You loved taunting him now and then, especially when you received those annoyed looks from him in return.

This time, Sherlock smiled awkwardly and defended himself by saying, “I attempted to make small talk.”

“You? Small talk? I thought you wanted to dance. Are you sure you’re alright?” You were a bit amused, but also confused. Sherlock had never shown any interest in such human behavior.

“Perfectly,” he stated and swirled you around once before returning to the basic position. His left hand was steady on your back while he led you with such precision and confidence you wished you had danced with him long ago. The lights seemed like they had a dance of their own as they reflected on his face. Still, his eyes shined down at you and in this moment, you felt like the most important thing in his life. Like for a minute, you had what you wanted. Him.

After the song had ended, Mary came over to steal you for a moment. She wanted to discuss the pregnancy and usual lady talk before the night ended. Meanwhile, Sherlock had withdrawn to the hall to get his coat. He hadn’t said he was leaving to anyone. Partly because he never did. He ran by his own schedule, not everyone else's.

No matter where you searched, Sherlock was not to be found. Neither John, Molly or anyone else had seen where he went and after discovering his absent coat, it didn’t take you long to deduce he had left. But to where?

Baker Street was your first guess, but when you found the flat empty, you thought you were back to scratch. He didn’t answer your call or text, he hardly did if it weren’t utterly important.

You decided to try the hospital next. You went through all the rooms he normally used and rooms he hardly or never were in, but came up with nothing. You were about to give up and head back to the flat and wait for his return instead when the door leading up to the rooftop stood ajar. It was supposed to stay closed, and locked, at all times and no one else was here at this time of night. Except…

Your fear rose as you walked up the stairs and out on the roof. The air was even more chilly up here and you had only a thin shawl over your shoulders. Your dress didn’t apply much warmth either, but that thought faded when you saw Sherlock standing near the edge, gazing over the city. The first thought coming to mind was unpleasant, and one you had long since tried to forget.

“Sherlock?” You approached him slowly when all you really wanted was to rush over and pull him away from the dangerous edge. He stood completely still when you came up beside him, his gaze fixed on the city lights. Your pulse raced through your body and you felt your heart hammering against your chest as one more step would have made you fall. “Sherlock, please.”

The pleading in your voice was what finally brought his eyes to you but you were now trying to not let the height drag you down. Sherlock saw the fear, not just in your eyes but in the way you shifted weight on your legs and drew closer to him. It didn’t take much of a deduction to know why you were reacting this way. Not here, not on this building. He should’ve known you would leave when you found out he had, but he didn’t know you’d find him so quickly.

“Thirty-two minutes and twenty six seconds.”

“What?” you frowned.

“It’s how long it took you to find me. Impressive. John would’ve taken at least twice as long.”

He had been timing-? Sure, he times many things but only when it’s convenient to him. So why was this important? “Well, this is his wedding night, you couldn't place blame if it took him a day or two.” Sherlock gave a “hmm” in response and returned his admiration of the night sky.

“Could we please step away from the edge?”

The detective exchanged glances between you and the free fall in front of you. He gently placed his hand on your arm and guided you a few steps back to safer ground. “Sorry.” His hand lingered on your arm still, though now would be a time to remove said contact. “Why did you come after me?”

You took a deep breath before answering. “You left without saying anything. I thought something had happened or that I did something wrong-”

“Why would you think that?” It was like you had struck him in the face the way he asked that. Before you could say more, Sherlock continued. “I eh…” he cleared his throat. “I was testing a theory, that’s all.”

“A theory? Here?”

Sherlock shrugged. “It’s a good place to think.”

A sudden, strong breeze hit your bare arms and legs, causing you to tremble. You embraced yourself in hope to warm up but it did little to not help. Sherlock’s eyes followed your movements. “Cold?” The sarcastic tone wasn’t helping. Bringing a coat with you when you left the flat hadn’t even crossed your mind.

“What gave it away?” you playfully say back to which he chuckled. “Can we just go home?” His head raised at that last word. Home. It took him a few seconds but then he agreed and together, you walked back down. Instead of taking a cab, you suggested walking for a bit. It was late and cold and probably a bad idea, but you wanted to have more time just the two of you alone before arriving back to the flat and your lives continued as normal. And damn it was cold. Your shivering only intensified the longer you kept walking but you didn’t complain out loud. The quiet of the night, with only the sounds of your shoes against the pavement was nice.

You kept your gaze on the ground or on your surroundings, not noticing Sherlock taking off his coat before you felt it over your shoulders. The instant warmth from his body met your cold one and you sighed in relief at the comfort it created. You mumbled a thank you and pulled the - his - coat closer around you. Sherlock walked in a half circle and stopped right in front of you while removing his scarf. All you could manage was to watch him as he folded it in half and placed it around your neck. His fingers brushed against your skin, sending a different kind of shiver through you. He then pulled one end through the other until it wrapped nicely around your throat. “You should’ve brought a coat,” he simply said as he adjusted the length of the scarf so it covered your chest. His former teasing tone had been replaced with a softer one, one you could almost take as a concerned one. But you didn’t let yourself go there.

His scent attached to his clothes found its way to you once more and once again, it calmed you. “Yeah.” It was all you could muster to say and Sherlock returned to your side.

The silence reappeared as you kept on walking but it wasn’t as unbearable as before. You enjoyed his company and just because he was silent didn’t mean he was uncomfortable. His arm brushed against yours and still with his thick coat in between it sent electrifying waves through your whole body. You could blame the cold for walking so closely to him, but to you it was more reassuring. The closer you were the safer you felt.

A sudden honk from a car made you jump and grab his arm. Someone shouted and you saw some people down the street on the opposite side of you, waving their arms at the passing car. You kept holding onto Sherlock though. He didn’t object to the matter and it wasn’t until your heart rate had returned to its normal state that you let go.

You passed one block, then another. It would take you a while to get back, but you hadn’t meant to walk all the way. But you had passed very few cabs so far so the chance of getting one seemed slim.

“A penny for your thoughts?” You asked his own question from earlier, suddenly craving some noise and right now his voice was what you wanted to hear. You could often listen to him for hours. When others found him annoying, you found him intriguing. However, Sherlock kept quiet. “Come on, you’re never in this deep thought unless it’s of some importance to you.”

When he still didn’t say anything you grew worried. It was normal that he kept things to himself, but this time you had a feeling it had to be something bigger than information about a case. You remembered then that he mentioned a theory he had. That could be why he’s acting distant. “Don’t push me away, Sherlock. Not again.”

Not again. Sherlock felt his pulse take a few fast beats. As a man prepared to do anything, nothing had prepared him for the blow he would face when it came to you handling his fake death. That included the fact that he hadn’t meant for you to watch him fall. But you had and it was the worst sight you’d ever laid eyes on. And the following two years were the worst time to be alive.

That time still had its claws deep into your heart, and since he had come back, you had been more cautious on cases and wouldn’t let Sherlock put you in the shadows and withholding stuff anymore.

Finally, Sherlock halted and turned so his whole body faced yours. He looked at you in such a way it felt like he was reaching your soul. “Tell me I still have you.”

His words sent you off guard and you didn’t know what to say because you weren’t sure what exactly he meant by that. “I- I don’t…”

He read the confusion on your face and sighed, ready to walk on but you grabbed his arm. “Sherlock. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing.” He observed your state. His coat hadn’t ridden entirely of the cold from your body. “We should find a cab for the rest of the way.”

You didn’t get another say in the matter because all of a sudden, you were attacked from behind. A man caged you in his arms so tight you couldn’t get free. “Sherlock!” Before he could help, Sherlock too got caught by two others. He fought them off as long as he could, but they had the upper hand. You struggled too, not letting them capture you so easily. The man behind you brought a damp cloth against your face, pressing it against you.

Sherlock managed to knock one of them away, but the other gave him a hard blow to the head. You couldn’t see with what, but you saw Sherlock fall right before darkness closed in on you until it consumed you.

#bbc sherlock #benedict cumberbatch #sherlock holmes #sherlock imagine #sherlock x fem!reader #the sign of three

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