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harrysmimi · 22 days

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Still Want You

Synopsis: Harry wants a restart but YN still feels guilty for what happened

More of my work | Based on this ask

I really hope you like this anon. Took me pong enough to write this.

PS. I haven't edited this cuz I am too lazy. I'm sowwyyy :(

Harry was nervous knocking on the door. He tugged on the neckline of his t-shirt as he dripped the small bouquet of red and white roses, a box of chocolate covered almonds and a small pack of cat treats.

He was there to see his favourite girl and his favourite boy ever.

It's been almost a year he has seen YN. He was finally ready to start over and get his life together, since past ten months he's had a great tour, released a new album and was back on a little break.

YN and Harry have been together for well over two years, inseparable and madly in love with one another. Harry loved the fact that she was his little secret that he so selfishly wanted to keep with him. Which unfortunately was one of the reason which drove them apart.

His breath hitched when she opened the door and first thing a white fluffy cat with big green eyes came to greet him. That was Prince, the cat he adopted for her for her birthday, he was (and his) their son. Prince loves Harry deeply to say the least.

"Harry?" Her voice was barely audible but he hear her nerves getting through her just loud enough. She is an anxious person, he knows that.

"YN!" He greeted her with a pleasant yet sad enough smile. She moved aside so he can come in and closed the door when he did.

It was a new place, just three streets away from the place he rented for them to move in together, as a surprise. It was small, just enough for a person and a pet. Everything looked dull and gloomy, there was just a bed with a pillow, and a sofa seperating the room into a living area and a bedroom. It was like her old flat she first moved into, but a little smaller and two rooms less as she shared that one with a roommate, there was a seperate living room at least.

YN got him a glass of water the first thing as he took a seat on the sofa. He could see she had set up her laptop up on the coffee table with a dozen unread emails and half eaten plate of Rice and Daal with a side of raw mango pickle. She sat on the other side of the sofa waiting patiently for him to start the conversation.

"I wanted to see you." He started to which she just smiled. "YN look I am sorry for what happened, but let's start all over again please!"

"I should be the one apologising." She looked at him with the same guilt he saw all those months ago.

It was months ago YN and Harry were starting have little arguments here and there. It was unusual for him. Yes, YN would have her bursts of frustration and anger here and there but Harry always made sure to be the mature one understanding the circumstances of situation. He'd be the one sitting her down and making her talk her mind and heart and share the same when she'd unknowingly hurt his feelings. He's always been patiently wonderful with that.

But they were both particularly bitter about the situations which were coming up one by one. It started with when YN wanted to bring home with her for her Diwali break. Even though her and her family did not celebrate it, they were willing to meet up with him and spend the holidays, even one of her cousin was getting married right after Diwali. It was a huge thing for YN, he knew that. But he had chosen to back down.

A festival and a wedding means there would be people, and where there are people, means there would be countless pictures and with his lifestyle, he prefers to keep his private life private. It means he wouldn't have been able to keep his dreamy little secret, a secret. He wanted to meet her family but in private. While her intentions were never vile, he knew the internet would ruin her mental peace.

But soon after they had to stop going out together on dates, to eat out. She had to stop being seen with him. Which made YN feel hurt.

She wanted to everything with Harry. Yeah, she was willing to endure everything given what came to be with him, hell she was even sceptical for weeks after he asked her out for the first time for the same thing! But once she was all in, she was willing to risk it all. She even put on an armer and spoke to her very strict brown parents about him.

YN was angry at him for months.

All she wanted was share what they had with not having to constantly look over their shoulders. And him protecting her got no where, still to this date she recieves nasty comments online. Even her LinkedIn profile is not safe for her to log into gor work.

Though she feels guilty for what she did. Despite her annoyance and frustration what she did was not right in any sense.

She was out with her colleagues and had kissed her colleague Harry hated the most, to which she came clean after whole three weeks. Just when Harry had cooked her an amazing meal and bought her favourite flowers to apologise for being so overly protective and to ask her to move in with him. She wasn't drunk that day, she has never touched alcohol in her life.

Just as YN was about to say something, her work phone started ringing. He somehow forgot she works from home most of the time and it wasn't a weekend. She excused herself to answer the ohone to ask to person to postpone whatever she had to do.

"I'm sorry about that," she placed the phone face down on the coffee table to look at him. YN still hasn't been able to forgive herself for what she did. She should have been mature and talk to him.

Since their time apart her life had a big down fall, and it's falling down in the blackhole some hell universe. She had switched her job, her family back home was going through hell and she couldn't go back because who would help her family if she went back home. Her grand dad had passed and their family business was crashing each passing day. Her dad and his brother could do so much with handling biggest loss of their life. She was going through a lot in that moment. But that does not justify her actions what so ever!

Harry told her, he needed some time. And by some she never thought it was be more then ten months and few rebounds later. They never officially broke up or even had that conversation. She deserved to see all that, she made herself believe that. She was more upset with herself than she was to be with him when they never actually called off anything. That was that.

"Have taken me long enough to come in and say that I accept your apologies." He spoke as he carefully tried to move closer to her. He doesn't want her to move away. "I was equally responsible for hurting you after the same."

Harry could see her relax a bit but stiffen up again, so he carefully moved closer to her. "Look we can at least be good friends." He softly spoke as he took her hand, still remembering the feeling like it was yesterday. Her hands still held that warmth he never forgot and they still felt tiny against his own.

YN let out a shaky breath. She have been trying. Trying so hard to get over little heartbreak, it was more harder than when she had her heart broken for the first time. She thought about being friends with him and actually trying to reconcile just so she can have a great person like him in her life again.

Alas she is a jealous person, and she can see him with anyone else. She don't want to be that toxic friend to anyone, so she had made up her mind that if Harry didn't wanted to be back with her she'd never ask to be at least his friend. She looked up at him through her lashes as tears filled her eyes.

"I can't." She admitted.

"Hey, come here!" He whispered as he wrapped his arm around her.

YN never thought she'd be so vulnerable after seeing him again. She had been preparing herself to be strong and act like she has grown much mature and not breakdown, but she did. "I am so sorry!" She started chanting in muffled voice, guilt of hurting him stil felt so saw like it happened just a minute ago.

"Hey, hey, you're fine, you're fine." He gently smoothed her hair as he rubbed her back.

"I still, I still can't get that out of my head!" She muffled again his shirt.

"It's gonna take time." He admitted, "but if you give us a chance, we can make it work. I promise will try my best love. It's been so hard to breathe without you."

"I cheated on you. I don't deserve you, you deserve someone so much better than me." She broke from the hug, a little frustrated maybe. At herself to be exact.

"So did I." He admitted too. Maybe it's not right to get together back again but he have seen being get through so much worse together. Maybe, just maybe they can work it out. Yes, they can work it out. "Told you need a break and did the same. Maybe this is wrong, to get back together. But maybe we could make it the best thing ever. I promise I won't try so hard to protect you from every little thing which comes with my profession."

"I still haven't forgiven myself, Harry," corners of her mouth quivered, "I haven't."

"You want some time, take as much time as you need. Still want you, my love. That's all."

She just nodded and they sat in silence for what felt like ages until YN broke the silence with her sniffles, she wiped her tears and looked at him. "You want some daal chawal?" She knows how much he loves that.

He let out a soft shy chuckle, "you know I am not going to say no."

"I'll get you a plate." He nodded and walked to the kitchen.

......................................................................

It was four months later. YN and Harry started to talk more recently and back together officially, giving one another time they need.

It wasn't until just just on Sunday YN agreed to go on a date with him for next weekend, her day off. He was going to take her see Niall at the Wembley. It was Monday and Harry couldn't wait already.

Waiting for Saturday and going to studio like a torture to him for the first time. He haven't got to see YN much since he visited her, she had been busy with her work. Apparently she was getting a promotion, she'd be the youngest senior manager at her firm and the pressure was too much so he did not wanted to be in her way. But they spoke, stayed on phone calls on her lunch break and texted throughout the day as both of them got free time. Late replies did mot seemed so bad after all now.

It was finally Saturday and Harry was there to pick up YN at her flat. He was all stocked up on the water bottles as it was hot, he knew she wanted to stand in the merch line and buy almost every single thing even though she can get everything delivered to her doorstep on her one command. She is a true Niall fan. He still remembers the first time she got to meet Niall, she was freaking out and now they've become best of friends.

"Hello my love." He greeted her as she opened the door.

"I am so sorry, I forgot to send this important file that why I am late." She anxious ran to her bathroom to where he followed her.

"It's alright love, the show doesn't start for next six hours." He assured her. "And knowing Niall, it won't start for next ten, so don't worry about it." She laughed at that comment.

She was wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a large white shirt keeping it simple and cute, should he add. She had her hair in a braid and put on a pair of silver hoops. And they were ready to go. "Oh we're matching!"

"Oh yeah!" He realised.

She rolled her eyes, "when are you going to stop copying me." He just chuckled and walked a step forward to place a soft peck on the back of her head.

"Never." He mumbled taking in the smell of her shampoo."You look very pretty, love when you wear Kajal."

"I am going to look like a panda real quick." She grabbed her glasses off the counter and put them on.

"A gorgeous panda, might I add." He added and recieved a elbow to his rib before they both fell in fit of laugh. She grabbed her sling bag on the way out. But Harry stopped her at the exit of her building.

"Before we walk out, I have to tell you something." He let out a anxious breath. "We are taking Sam with us, just to be safe, okay? Don't want anyone of us getting hurt unknowingly."

"Okay." She nodded. Well that's understandable, if not for her, for him at least. No one knows her there but every fucking one knows him there. Once they walked out of the building, he found he even got a chauffeur for the day.

"Oh yeah, one more thing." He reached the back pocket his jeans and pulled out a tennis bracelet.

It was the Tiffany bracelet he got her one random day just because, and she wore it every single day no matter if it went with her outfit or not since then. He recieved that back when she returned all his stuff back to him with all of his hoodies and the tad bits of gift he gave her.

"You still kept it?" She looked rather surprised.

"Of course I kept it, know how much you cherish this." He gently grabbed her hand and placed the bracelet around her wrist, he tried to approach her with a kiss but she cuddle close to him swiftly dodging the moment. He just needs to give her some time so he settled with placing a gentle peck on her head.

They reached the venue in half an hour, stood in the line to buy the merch and just making it in time for lunch with Niall. YN did not expect Harry to get VIP passes, even though the performer is literally his best friend. She still did not expected to go to a concert with VIP passes. Yes she saw Harry perform multiple times but it was with his family in the privacy box standing by the side of the stage. This was whole knew experience for her. They were going to the VIP tent there with Niall's mum and girlfriend.

"Be careful here." Harry grabbed her hand as he guided her through the metal walkway around the stage to the pit area where the tent was. He knows these things are nasty slippery even through they have little bumps on them which are supposed to be slip resistant.

The whole evening Harry wasn't afraid of how people would treat the girl he loves so much. He wasn't afraid of hold her thinking about all the nasty things people might say. He sang and danced all evening along with her with his best friend performing there. It was when Niall was playing This Town with his guitar trapped on, at the end of the cat walk.

Harry's got his arms around the girl he adore so much to sing along, just so she can hear him. "If the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you. Drive highways and byways to be there with you, over and over the only truth, everything come back to you." That made her turn her head around to look at him, he couldn't hold back the bright smile as he placed a kiss on the apple of her cheek, "you still make me nervous when you walk in the room, them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you, over and over the only truth everything comes back to you, hmmm!" YN leaned into him there. She could start crying.

"You wanna take a picture?" He suggested as the song ended.

"Oh yes!" YN pulled out her phone from her bag and the posed for a few selfies and Harry clicked a few pictures of her while Niall was in between set change.

After the show, Harry her took her to her favourite place for dinner. And that was about the night before he drive her back to her place with all the merch she bought.

......................................................................

It was a few more months later.

YN mostly worked from home, she only ever had to go to work if there was a meeting or briefing to be done. It was one of those days for her, but more important somehow. Her day at work ended at three in the afternoon as she was early reporting to work. She had taken in a cab there as her car at the service centre. So Harry decided to go pick her up.

Harry waited for her outside her work building as he couldn't go in because the security won't let him in without an ID. He don't have that obviously, because he is not an employee there and he knew YN was done anyway so he didn't mind waiting for her by his car. He was dressed all comfy in a pair of sweats and puffer with a beanie on his head. It was November already and getting colder already.

YN did not liked Mondays, that's what he knew really. But this particular Monday she was very giddy and got up at six in the morning and reported to work at eight sharp. He wasn't sure what was so special about today but she seemed very ecstatic about it.

"Harry!" He hear his name as she ran out of the door, dressed in a baby pink suit and her black coat on top of it with her laptop bag slung around her right shoulder. The first thing she did was jump in his arms to place a firm kiss on his mouth. Taking Harry by utter shock. It was the first time they kissed, he did not mind it, he rather loved it actually. "I. Got. The promotion!" She squealed stomping like a little toddler. He could see little tears of joy in corner of her eyes.

"Oh my goodness!" He was surprised to hear that too, she has been after this promotion for so long, "I am so proud of you baby!" He pulled her in a warm hug. He had seen her obsess about this project wanting it to be perfect for one of the biggest clients in her firm, followed by which she would happen her promotion.

"You are?" She cooed, sounding like she'd cry.

"Yes baby, I am!" He exclaimed as he squeezed her tighter, "so, so, so proud of you my love!" He carefully pulled apart enough to look at her. "You deserved it." He placed a kiss on her forehead. She just buried her face in his chest.

"I need to call Mumma." She chuckled as she pulled away to wipe her tears.

"Yeah?" He smiled, "give me this, call you mum." He grabbed her laptop bag and proceeded to place it on the back seat as she made her way to the passenger seat calling her mother already.

They had the day planned out already, they were going to go to his place. The new place he got just a month ago in a more gated area with more security for her personal safety.

"You kissed me." Harry said as he closed his front door, she had already taken off her coat. His puffer was already off in the car itself.

"Yes..." YN nodded anxiously, "I am sorry if you didn't wanted me to."

"Are you kidding me? I've been dying to kiss you my love!" He took a big step towards her as he grabbed her by her waist to place a gentle kiss on her mouth. "Oh I've missed this!" He place another feathery kiss on corner of her mouth, he could feel her melt in his arms there as her knees almost gave in. With his arm on her back and behind her knees he picked her up as he spun her around.

......................................................................

It was another day of celebration for YN as she was able get another big project in to the firm just a year after her promotion, her superior arranged a little dinner party for her. It was a very formal event, with the CEO and all the vice presidents present there. Of course she took Harry with him.

Harry had drove YN back to her place his place as they planned last minute on spending the weekend in at his. They both changed into some comfy clothes. Luckily Harry kept all of her clothes as they were.

They both got comfy on the sofa. "Need some water." Harry got up from his place and walked in the kitchen. The kitchen at his new was surprised put of sight from living room and it was weirdly quite at his, except Prince snoring next to her. Harry was watching him for the day while YN was at work. He had a blast the three hours Harry was at the dinner with her, running around the house that he passed out on the sofa there.

Harry came back, acting a bit fiddly. He watched as YN flipped through Netflix. He knew he have to do this. He wants to do this.

He placed a kiss on her mouth before he got on both his knees with her hands in his, their laced finger layed on her lap. He had to resist himself from giving her get another kiss or he would forget to say what he is going to say.

"What happened?" She asked looking at him confused.

"I've got say something." He started with a bright smile and flushed cheeks. "Rather I've got something to ask you."

"If you're asking me to move in, then not until—"

"We get married, I know." He interrupted her, "I actually wanted to ask you, will you marry me? You don't have to answer now, take as much time as possible. As long as it takes, I still want you." He could feel his heart thumping in his ears.

"You are serious with this?" She asked in a low voice, not believing what is happening, as her eyes welled up with tears. "You want to get married?"

"Yes, I am damn serious about this." He announced. "I want to get married."

"Yes, I will marry you Harry!" She exclaimed as pulled him in for a hug. Suddenly there were claps heard from the kitchen as her family and Harry's family walked out. "What the—" she hid her face in Harry's shirt as she knew her kajal was all messed up already, Gemma was recording this. Harry laughed as he looked at her face and helped her fix her face, wiping her tears with the sleeve of white shirt he wore.

"It's okay, your cute panda face is just for me to see." He whispered to her making her chuckle.

"It's official now!" YN's mum announced. It was just their immediate family. Harry's parents and his sister, her parents and her brothers. And they knew there was going to be a proper engagement ceremony done, not today but someday.

Harry wanted to give YN a heads up, given the fact how their relationship took a turn and how hard it was mend things and beat the odds. He didn't expected her to say yes then and there but he was prepared with a ring. Anne handed him the ring he had custom made just for his girl.

"Want to make it official, official." He opened the box to reveals a beautiful ring, which he took time in sliding onto her finger.

"Even we have a surprise for you." YN's brother announced as he handed his sister a box too. It was a platinum band in there. Just a cultural thing where it is permissible for men to wear gold or jewels, Harry respects that. He knows they are going to have a proper engagement ceremony planned out in future all abiding by her cultural rituals. This was just for family and their eyes only.

She slid the ring on his finger too. And they were officially, officially engaged now.

This wasn't something Harry imagined would ever happen.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Well... Had this in my inbox for a while while now. I am so so so sorry this took forever to post! 🤧 Hope you liked it. Ik I'm a bit rusty that I haven't wrote anything since like January.

I love you xx

#reblog

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harrysmimi · 27 days