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Label does not tell us what to do but gives us an impression.

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kristingelatin · 9 days

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How to get over a guy ?

Now this might seem almost impossible, especially if you two have been in a quite long relationship. While it might be easier if he was just a talking stage, it's still difficult to get over someone we've been attached to, so here are some tips to help you forget about them.

1. Out of sight, out of mind.

Ever notice that you completely forget about your school/class/hallway crush during summer holidays ? That is mostly because there's nothing to remind you of them. We are going to do the exact same thing. Unfollow them from all social media, delete their pictures so you don't see them when scrolling through your gallery, delete the conversation, tell your friends to stop talking about them. If you don't feel completely ready to do that, you can take things more slowly. For example, instead of unfollowing/blocking them, you could just hide their stories, or instead of deleting the pictures, put them in your "my eyes only". Remember, the goal is to not see them. If you two are in the same class, or you just have the same friend group, it'll be harder. What I advise you to do is to try not to look at them. Like not even a single glance. Everytime you think about looking at them, stop, and think to yourself what that would mean. Because you abandoning yourself to the temptation is a proof of a lack of self-love and self-worth, a proof that they still have some control over you. And that is, of course, not what you want.

2. Keep yourself busy.

We are going to use reverse psychology here. So you have to understand that seduction first starts with slowly sneaking into someone's mind, and make them think of you. Our goal here is to do the opposite, so to get them out of your mind.

The main reason why we find ourselves thinking so much about someone or spending a lot of time stalking them, is because we don't have anything else to do. So keep yourself (especially your mind) busy. Read, cook, study, workout, watch a movie, anything that will occupy your mind and attention enough for you not to think about them. Now of course, it's impossible to keep doing this the whole day.

What I used to do when having a hard time forgetting about someone, is that I slowly close my eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine myself standing in front them, and telling them they have no control over me, that I am the master of my mind, and that, therefore, no one can get in unless I let them in.

It's kind of a reminder that it is not impossible to stop thinking about them, and it helps me acknowledge my thoughts.

If you're simply having fake scenarios, instead of imagining them with that specific person, imagine yourself with a guy who's your exact desired type, a celebrity, or whoever it might be, as long as their face does not get in your brain.

3. Understand your feelings.

Sorry to break it up to you, but most of the time, you're just romanticizing your feelings. Just think about your feelings for once, do you really love them ?

If he's an ex-boyfriend or ex-talking stage, you probably are just obsessed. And there's a huge difference between obsession and love. Maybe you're obsessed with the attention they used to give you and now you miss it, but you don't miss them. Maybe you cherish the memories, but you don't cherish them. Maybe you love an over-romanticized version of them that you made in your mind, but again, you don't love them.

Understanding that it is not love that you feel will make it wayyy easier for you to forget about them, trust me, you just have to be brave enough to think through it, even when you're used to telling yourself you're in love.

4. Forget about the looks.

Really, forget about how gorgeous he is, or how masculine his body looks, if there was no physical attraction, would you be friends with him ? If a very dear friend to yours, someone to whom you're very close, came up to you and told you about him and what he did, as if they were the one living that, would you tell them to stay ? Get in a neutral point of view, the point of view of a watcher instead of a player, try not to let your feelings blur the reality. Are they really that incredible ? Did they really treat you that well ? Or did you just treat yourself very well in your imagination through him ?

5. Understand that you weren't special.

I'm not talking about the people who have been in long committed relationships. I'm talking about the ones who have been in a relationship with boys, especially high-schoolers and college guys. Girl, trust me, these guys don't see any girl as special. For them, you were just another talking stage/girlfriend. They don't miss you, they don't love you, understand it. The attention they used to give you isn't even that special, because they probably give it to so many other girls. If a guy truly loves you and appreciates you, trust me, my love, they will give you the whole world. Boys know how to be men, the shift in their behavior will appear when they're with the right girl. If nothing has changed, take a hint, and change yourself.

Hope this post helped. Bye, my loves. 🦢

#love #how to get over a guy #relationship #self healing #self improvement #self growth #self esteem #self worth #situationship #modern relationship #modern relationships #modern dating #no label relationship #moving on #letting go #let go #move on

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kristingelatin · 9 days

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kristingelatin · 12 days

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As a law student 🙈

#law school #law student #philippine law student

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kristingelatin · 12 days

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Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle Vincent van Gogh, Garden at Arles (1888)

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kristingelatin · 15 days

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#love #relationship #move on #friends #haha #happiness #life #crush #self love #delayed gratification #modern relationships #situationship #situationships #bible verse #self worth #self realization #self esteem #self reflection #modern dating

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kristingelatin · 15 days

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Your soul knows. It will tell you when it's time to distance yourself from those who no longer align with you mentally, emotionally, physically, or energetically.