#// joke???? ask???? idk how to tag this but uh

[pheraesladyknight]

run away with me. we’ll be lady knights together and build a home and be the epitome of grace and nobility and you’ll forget everything else hahahahah gay

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUST ALL MY ROMANTIC OPPORTUNITIES SLIP FROM MY FINGERS?!

#ooc | ivy here #// joke???? ask???? idk how to tag this but uh #// i think its funny LMAO???

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

hiii can I request a Percy x Zeus!gf hcs!!? but don’t focus on how they’re so powerful together in combat and stuff and more on how they chill

⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of zeus! reader hcs

content: percy jackson x daughter of zeus! reader hcs warning: language but i think that's it as per usual author's note: kicked my butt, this one here. idk why, zeus is always so hard fr. like something about his bitch ass be setting me off. making it hard to write and shit. go suck a dick bro fr.

KING AND QUEEN OF UNOFFICAL SLEEPOVERS

just a girl in need of a nap with her bf who just wants to make her happy fr

each others cabins become like a second home quickly, since you both got hella lonely when your siblings weren't there

"hey, do you have my left shoe in your cabin?"

"the blue one or the white one? actually, i think the white one is your right shoe-"

also, this man has so much beef with your father, how he hasn't gotten smited yet no one knows

(if zeus so much as thinks about laying a hand on percy, you'll take olympus down yourself, brick by fucking brick)

percy fr be making offerings like 'dear all mighty zeus, may your daughter's ass and tits look stunning tomorrow, like usual. amen and hallelujah.'

does he get shocked by every door handle he touches? yes

is it worth it? more than you can imagine

once you and percy started dating, all of his clothes were instantly yours.

he's since stopped asking if the shirt is his bc like...it's his without a doubt

"i need that back by friday. school spirit days or something."

"ummm this is my shirt??" you reply, your face scrunching up in confusion

percy reaches into the shirt and produces the tag, which his initials are there in thick black pen

"yeah, p and j. uh- oh! property...of...uh jupiter like uh zeus...yeah."

percy just rolls his eyes and walks away

the shirt was folded at the end of his bed by thursday evening obvi

also, i just know you start spending so much time in the poseidon cabin bc the zeus cabin is creepy as shit.

like you are constantly telling percy that you can hear hercules in the walls but he always things your joking

you are not

places is haunted as fuck, probs the doing of hades or one of his kids or something

whatever, it's just another excuse to sleep in percy's cabin.

he's a snuggle bug, i know it

but at some point in the night, he's lost a sock, he's starfish-ing over the bed and you, and has managed to shift so much in bed he's half falling off

so, it's kind of a pain in the ass but he's just so cute you can't help but love him

when he wakes up, he always moves back to your side and pulls you into his chest, smothering you with kisses.

"good morning! wake up, princess of the sky, come on!"

"go away," you huff, shoving him off you in an attempt to get more sleep but he always just comes rolling back

"nah, you're too pretty to leave alone."

"you're so annoying...annoyingly handsome," you joke, joining in with a sleepy smile

"you think i'm handsome?" percy prompts with a smirk, like you two haven't been dating for two years.

"the handsomest," you confirm, shaking your head sleepily and patting his cheek lovingly.

"wanna know what would make you even more handsome?"

"hmm?"

"letting a girl sleep in. get out of my bed if you're gonna be awake."

"your bed- bitch, this is my cabin!"

"the fuck you just call me?"

"the love of my life??"

"wrong...asshole."

"hEY!"

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #pjo #pjo fandom #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader

[diorsluv]

casual , part 6

“ someone you couldn’t lose ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by rutgermcgroarty, mackie.samo, and 75,188 others

yourusername guess what hoe (affectionate) ruined my day this time 🥰

tagged: rutgermcgroarty

view all comments

rutgermcgroarty i’m your only hoe right 🥺🥺

→ yourusername aw you’re funny sweetie you’re like my fifth hoe

→ rutgermcgroarty but you told me i was the only one for you 😔😔😔😔😔

→ yourusername i lied bbg i got other bitches 🙏

→ vivianliu IT’S ME I’M OTHER BITCHES!!!!

lhughes_06 you weren’t hanging out with him this much when i was still there 🤨🤨

→ yourusername you unnecessarily took up 50% of the time i could have been spending with my lovely best friend

→ lhughes_06 im ur brother.

→ yourusername hes my best friend.

→ rutgermcgroarty YOU ADMITTED IT IM THE LOVELIEST BEST FRIEND yourusername

→ yourusername lovely and loveliest are two very different things rut

username28 ethan’s definitely malding i can hear it already

edwards.73 i asked if you wanted to come over but you didn’t respond

→ yourusername you texted me at midnight

→ edwards.73 yeah

→ mackie.samo eddy you absolute dumbass

→ edwards.73 WHAT DID I DO??

→ rutgermcgroarty do you ever text her before 11 pm 😭😭

→ edwards.73 not really why?

→ markestapa you just answered your own question buddy

_quinnhughes tell me if your little boyfriend isn’t treating you right

→ yourusername not my bf!!!!! remember he doesn’t want labels quinny

→ _quinnhughes that in itself is already bad enough

→ lhughes_06 the only reason i haven’t flown back to beat him up yet is because of the little respect i still have for you yourusername

→ yourusername well aren’t you just an angel 😐

username17 whats stopping rosie x rut from happening???

→ username11 everything

→ username2 everything = ethan

vivianliu i hate how you guys are so sibling coded

→ yourusername awww are you jealous 🥺🥺🥺

→ rutgermcgroarty stop it vivi you’re breaking my heart

→vivianliu hahaha very funny we all know your little crush on her never went away 😐😐

→ rutgermcgroarty DONT EXPOSE ME TO THE PUBLIC LIKE THAT

→ yourusername RUT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

markestapa i have an inkling you’re doing this on purpose 🤨

→ yourusername you’re tinkling????

→ mackie.samo the hell is an inkling 💀

→ dylanduke25 mark we need to address the tinkle problem

→ markestapa THATS NOT THE POINT OF THIS COMMENT

→ edwards.73 fr that’s what i’m saying

→ _alexturcotte maybe she is doing it on purpose

trevorzegras are you breaking my boy’s heart??

→ yourusername quite the opposite

→ trevorzegras uh huh

→ jackhughes IS THAT A COD REFERENCE yourusername

→ yourusername no jack i’m not quoting ghost 😒

username93 best friend supremacy

username1 this is your and rut’s world, we’re just living in it 🙏

dylanduke25 rosie did you know that jealousy is a real thing

→ yourusername did jealousy accidentally break the shower head again

→ dylanduke25 yes. and jealousy almost burned the building down

→ luca.fantilli jealousy also punched a hole through the front door

→ markestapa and somehow knocked out the entire heating system in the dorms??

→ yourusername oh god

username75 what happened to ethan 😰

colecaufield BREAK IT OFF

→ yourusername my friendship with rut???

→ colecaufield you know what i’m talking about 🙄

→ yourusername idk do i?? 🤔🤔

adamfantilli you stole my boyfriend.

→ yourusername oh did i? oops! 🤭

→ adamfantilli i will drive back there just to fight you

→ yourusername jokes on you cuz rut n i are already heading to springfield for a mini road trip

→ rutgermcgroarty shhhh you weren’t supposed to tell anyone 🙁

username60 oh look it’s my sanity slowly leaving me

username49 am i the only one still supporting rosie x ethan 😟😟

username18 PLEASE i’ve been begging for more content for forever i’m so happy

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, luca.fantilli, and 83,826 others

yourusername what are we?

view all comments

vivianliu damn babe when’d you get all philosphical and shit with your little quotes??

→ yourusername when i cried over him for 3 hours straight ‼️

→ rutgermcgroarty i’m sorry you WHAT

→ jackhughes this is unacceptable

_quinnhughes you’re really testing my nerves rosie

→ yourusername how so 🤨

→ _quinnhughes you gotta stop letting him treat you like that kid

→ yourusername i’ll be fine quinn don’t worry about me

username13 SO PRETTYYY

username52 the quotes hit different though

adamfantilli this is literally a direct call out????

→ yourusername it is?? i never woulda guessed 😱

→ adamfantilli yknow maybe you should just end it here

→ yourusername it’s okay i know how to fix things i’m like bob the builder

username67 i’m sensing a cry for help

→ yourusername 🙏

username3 that third quote really hit a lil too close to home

username11 oh babe…

markestapa r u ok

→ yourusername don’t sound like you’re being held at gunpoint 😭

→ markestapa Are you okay?

→ yourusername yes crayola marker i’m just dandy

→ markestapa i’m sorry

→ yourusername for what??

→ markestapa him

mackie.samo he’s just being a pussy rosie don’t worry about it

→ yourusername i’m a chronic worrier 😰😰

→ mackie.samo he’s trying, he promises

→ yourusername wish he could tell me that himself

jackhughes it physically pains me to see you like this

→ yourusername i’m ok!

→ jackhughes you never say “ok” 😭

username25 man this even hurts me

username49 this is why i hate men

→ vivianliu REAL SHIT

rutgermcgroarty this is really affecting you isn’t it..

→ yourusername take a wild gander

→ rutgermcgroarty i’ll take you to the lakes after morning practice tomorrow

→ yourusername you don’t have to

→ rutgermcgroarty best friend duties call 🫡

username74 shitttt this the story of my life

edwards.73 fr

next chapter notes ) so unfortunately i’ve decided that imma make the chapters shorter so it’s easier for me to post and i won’t get burnt out as quickly.. please forgive me!!

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards x y/n #ethan edwards fic #ethan edwards fanfic #ethan edwards x reader #quinn hughes #jack hughes #trevor zegras #cole caufield #alex turcotte #luca fantilli #rutger mcgroarty #adam fantilli #mark estapa #mackie samoskevich #dylan duke #luke hughes

[httpsserene]

ʟᴇᴛ’ꜱ ɢᴏ ɢᴏʟꜰɪɴɢ ᴡ/ ʟɴ4

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: maybe you shouldn’t be late to any event you go to, or bare minimum don’t make any bets you know you’re not going to win. having no hand-eye coordination is not great when you’re being forced to play golf.

📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: i think i’m funny. one or two dirty jokes. and reader does have a lil injury (nothing bad). not edited at all 😎

📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: the doc says 900 words?? it feels longer idk

📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: lando x black!fem!reader (it’s mainly twitch trio focused-alex,george & lando)

📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smau

📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: swang • rae sremmurd

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: i’d like to remind everyone that the people asked for this hellscape! you 🫵🏽 asked for it. it’s long, like LONG. anyways: max is definitely the type of dude to use the cat emojis. my bad to my charles girlies, he did not make the cut for this 😔 i had to get rid of like three or four ig posts and stories to make this all fit into one tblr post, and none of that had charles content 🫠. also, the plot damn near ran away from me, but it’s barely there—it’s kinda more friend focused than lando x reader until the end! uh there’s one part in here that was inspired by tik tok comments, y’all will know which one 😅 inspired by the fact that my brother hit me with a golf club when i was a child 🙂i think i’m pretty funny so i hope you guys find this funny asl, otherwise what did i do this for?

if you want me to post the outtakes lmk

send me some requests or talk to me pls 😅

want to be on a tag list? tell me in my inbox <3

georgerussell63

liked by lilymhe, mercedesamgf1, and 4,100,123 others

georgerussell63: off to a terrible start for golf day. my girlfriends “wife” is crashing the party, and my mates gf is already -4 after two holes 🙂

view comments

lilymhe: light work 💪🏼 no reaction🥱

user: not his girlfriend’s wife ☠️

➥ user: who does he think keeps carmen’s bed warm when he’s not at home???

alex_albon: welcome to watch mojo! and today we’re counting down our top 10 times our gf’s ditch us for each other 🤨

➥ user: and?

➥ user: what else are they supposed to do alexander 😀

y/ninstagram: put some respeCK on my name princling, or next time i see u its on sight 😡 im aiming the golf club straight at you

➥ georgerussell63: you can’t even hit the golf ball in under three tries, or aim anywhere near the holes

➥ georgerussell63: i think i’ll be fine

➥ y/ninstagram: 😟😐 i'll remember this george william russell, ur asking for it

carmenmmundt: george failed to mention that he’s +3 already

➥ georgerussell: like, literally nobody asked you to say that 😒

➥ landonorris: drag him !!! he doesn’t get to say shit about our wife 😤

➥ carmenmmundt: *my wife

➥ user: lmfaooo im 💀

alex_albon

liked by y/ninstagram, carmenmmundt and 3,431,543 others

alex_albon: ladies and gentlemen, introducing: *my* girlfriend 🤤✨

tagged lilymhe

view comments

y/ninstagram: we MUST stay focused sisters

y/ninstagram: gawd damn‼️ wifey could hit me with that golf club any day

➥ carmenmmundt: fuck the club, i’ll let her run me over w the cart🥴

lilymhe: next hole, i’ll show you guys what a proper stoke is 😏

➥ lilymhe: since our bf’s seem to underperform…on the golf course obv

➥ user: AYOOO?!!

➥ carmenmmundt: okay 😇

➥ y/ninstagram: why r my thighs wet rn

➥ user: dO THEY KNOW THIS IS PUBLIC

alex_albon: i’m at a loss for words

➥ landonorris: this is literally your fault

➥ georgerussell63: can’t believe you mate 🫤

➥ alex_albon: how is this MY fault??! whattddiddiddoo

lilymhe • 5hrs ago

view replies

y/ninstagram: idk y ur complaining? the cart is parked. on its side, but it’s parked😊

carmenmmundt: i think we’ve punished ourselves

alex_albon: should’ve left her ass at home like i said 😒

francisca.cgomes: idk even know why y’all let her drive the cart😨

y/ninstagram • 4 hrs ago

view replies

maxfewtrell: ur joeeee kingggg. ur joe king 😐

francisca.cgomes: i wouldn’t even trust u with the scorecard—but pop off !!! girl boss shit

danielricciardo: SO I HAD TO, GRIND LIKE THAT TO SHINE LIKE THIS 🗣️🗣️‼️💯

lando.jpg

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 3,862,431 others

lando.jpg: “i have the highest score out of everybody here! +26 up on y’all hoes!” - y/n

tagged y/ninstagram

view comments

lando.jpg: BRO SAID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING 🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥

➥ maxfewtrell: SHE SOUNDS FIRE 🔥 ON MUTE ‼️💯

lilymhe: SHE GOT A HIDDEN TALENT 🔥🔥🔥 KEEP IT HIDDEN 🔥🔥🔥

➥ alex_albon: no talent ✅ JUST STRAIGHT ASS 💯💯🗣️🗣️🔥🔥

georgerussell63: THIS IS FIRE 🔥 PUT IT OUT ‼️

user: SHE SPITTING BARS 💯💯💯 PUT HER BEHIND THEM 🔥🔥🔥

user: THE SILENCE IS SO LOUD WHEN THIS HITS 🗣️🔥🔥

user: WE STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM 🔥🔥🔥 NOW WE’RE DIGGING 🗣️🗣️🔥💯‼️🙌🏽🙌🏽

y/ninstagram: y u hurt me 😪

➥ carmenmmundt: i think you’re underrated, honestly <; 3

➥ y/ninstagram: aw ty carmie :)

➥ carmenmmundt: I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY 🥶🥶‼️‼️🙌🏻🙌🏻

➥ y/ninstagram: bee-eff-eff-aur: be FUCKING for real 😒

y/ninstagram • 3 hrs ago

view replies

maxverstappen1: i don’t want to laugh—man who TF am i kidding 😹😹😹

alexandrasaintmleux: how THE fuck did u manage to give yourself a concussion??!

carlossainzjr: pobrecita😪 how 😭 terrible 😭 can you tell lando to come over when ur done

carlossainzjr: hello

carlossainzjr: niña i can see you reading my messages

landonorris

liked by carlossainzjr, mclaren, and 6,234,765 others

landonorris: thank you for all the wishes about y/n (not u carlos, you’re in time out). she only has a mild concussion, and verbally assaults me when i wake her up every two hours 😒 to make sure she’s alive 🤗

view comments

landonorris: god forbid i stop her from dying 😱

➥ carlossainzjr: heyyy be nice to her she’s in another world right now

➥ landonorris: u r not slick sainz. don’t expose our affair to my gf when she’s injured

➥ carlossainzjr: she won’t even remember this 🥺

➥ user: sir👁️👄👁️, this is a wendy’s drive through

➥ user: they know this on the internet 4ever right…?

lilymhe: this girl swung the club, missed the ball, and let go of the damn club no follow through

➥ carmenmmundt: it hit the ground and ricocheted back at her

➥ alex_albon: and she got knocked on the forehead hard asl

➥ georgerussell63: the noise it made was hilarious 😂 y’all should’ve been there

➥ user: geORGE WILLIAM????

➥ georgerussell63: i’m mad we didn’t get it on video smh 😔

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems

© httpsserene 2023

#f1 #f1 imagine #f1 smau #lando norris #alex albon #george russell #charles leclerc #lando norris smau #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x black!reader #lando norris x yn #lando norris imagine #george russell x reader #alex albon x reader #f1 x black!reader #f1 scenario #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #max verstappen x reader #serene’s fave. #serene’s chapters. #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz jr #lando norris x y/n #daniel ricciardo #f1 x you #charles leclerc x reader #⋆⭒˚｡⋆. series special: formula 1 #♡ ༘*.ﾟ love interest: ln. #✩°｡⋆⸜ smau

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Bait and Switch. || Scammer!Reader x Victim!Ghost

Rating: M Words: 2.6K~ Pairing: scammer!Reader x victim(but not really)!Ghost CW: phone scams/conning (reader never actually cons him), financial issues?, threats (Simon threatens to find reader), degradation?. other tags: crack, OOC Simon., you/your pronouns (gn!reader but uses a female fake name), obviously fake names (pun/funny), lying, joking, the weirdest meet cute? a/n: this started out as a joke/crack and turned serious/dark at the end? idk how i did this.

Simon Riley would say that being legally dead is the best thing to have happened to him and that's because it allowed him to escape a bunch of responsibilities that regular men have to uphold.

He gets paid covertly, in full, and does not have to pay taxes on his income.

He rented a flat from a sweet ol' lady, who didn't run a background check or ask for a copy of his birth certificate (terrible choice on her part), and he pays her by dropping an envelope of cash in her mailbox on the 1st of every of the month.

He not only is old enough to drink but also sounds and looks old enough as well, which means he doesn't need I.D. to buy alcohol (not that any shops or bars really care enough to check).

He doesn't have a credit card. Or a debit card for that matter. Hell, he doesn't even have a bank account, so he doesn't have to pay maintenance fees.

He doesn't have a smartphone. And up until recently he only had a pager. In fact, the only reason he doesn't have a pager anymore is because it got shot in the crossfire during a mission... so Price forced him to get a jitterbug.

In short... Simon Riley can escape a lot of things (death, taxes, Philip Graves...). But telemarketers and phone scammers are not one of those things.

That's how, on a boring Wednesday afternoon, his new phone ends up ringing, like it had been doing multiple times a week for the last four weeks.

Telemarketers.

He never got telemarketers on his pager.

He hated telemarketers.

But that didn't mean he blocked them-

"What?" He answered as soon as he picked up the phone.

An automated voice came over the call, one of those typical Siri-esque robot voices, delivering a prepared speech: "Congratulations! You've won a free cruise to the Bahamas! To claim your prize, press 1."

Oh, now, this was different. He didn't need to hear more to know it was a scam call. But that didn't mean he was going to hang up.

So Simon pressed key 1, which caused a beep to sound over the call.

"Thank you!" The automated voice continued. "We are now connecting you to a live operator to claim your prize!"

Barely a millisecond went by before you took over the call. "Good afternoon, this is Stella Gormoni with Blissful Blessings Inc.! Who am I speaking with?"

As stereotypical as it is, Simon had expected a different voice on the other end of the line... maybe from a scammer in a foreign country who'd speak heavily-accented English...

But instead, he got a sweet and professional sounding person... It almost made him second-guess the scam that was being pulled on him.

His mind moved quick at coming up with a fake name. Not just a fake one, but a pun one too. "Wanh'a, first name Aiden." He replied, his gruff voice reverberating on the call.

"And how do you spell that?" You asked him politely, and, through your headset, he could hear your keyboard keys clacking in the background.

"That's A-I-D-E-N." He replied as he entered his kitchen, spelling his first, as if that was somehow what was causing you difficulty.

"Uh-huh!" You acknowledged in a peppy tone. "And... your surname?" You asked him.

"W-A-N-H-'-A." He continued spelling as he crossed the small kitchen, hearing your fingers tapping away at your keyboard in his ear.

For a moment, you didn't talk, as if stunned into silence. Had you just picked up on the fact he was trolling you by giving you a name that, phonetically, sounded like 'I Don't Wanna'? Probably. But you hadn't hung up yet.

"Well, congratulations, Mr. Wanh'a, you just won an all-inclusive, two-week long cruise to the Bahamas!" Your peppy tone made him bite his lip to contain a laugh. Well, at least you were dedicated in continuing the scam. "How are you feeling?"

"Very well, and yourself?" Simon asked casually as he leaned himself against the door of his refrigerator, leaning down to look inside and find a snack.

"I'm doing very well, thank you, sir." You replied in a cheerful tone. "So, let's process the information so we can get you your prize, shall we?" You announced in a polite tone.

"Go right on ahead, sweet'eart." He murmured as he grabbed a yogurt and closed the fridge with his hip, sitting at the table and peeling open the lid.

"Well, for us to start, I'm going to need your-"

"Actually, I have a question, before we start." Simon interrupted your speech, cutting off your silver-tongued lies.

You went silent for just a moment before you replied with a sweet little: "Of course, what can I help you with, Mr. Wanh'a?"

"I want to know how exactly I signed up to receive this prize." Simon replied before he placed a spoonful of yogurt in his mouth.

He was trying to accomplish two things by doing this: 1) throw you off your game and make you stammer and stutter, and 2) see how long it took for you to get annoyed, and hang up on him.

"Well, that's what I was going to explain, you see-" You replied, a smile behind your voice, but his trained ears could pick up the slight frustration. It made Simon smile.

"Oh, then, I'm sorry for interrupting you, sweet'art, please go ahead." He replied and gestured with his spoon, as if giving you the stage, unnecessarily so, because you were not there to watch it.

"As I was saying... You were entered automatically into the draw by buying a cereal box of any Kellog's cereal at Tesco. I'm sure you saw a 'Win a free cruise!' sticker on yours?" You asked in a professional and sickly-sweet tone.

He could see right through your scam, he had already done that. You name a famous brand, one people trust, to trick naive or impressionable ones into believing you...

Normal people would tell you they no longer have the cereal box, many of them naive enough to believe your scam despite the fact they hadn't even bought one of those boxes in the first place...

Next, you'd ask for the card used to make the purchase, and some people were dumb enough to read their number aloud to you...

Oh, how he hated scammers. Even more than telemarketers.

"I do remember seeing something like that..." He murmured, his voice deepening, before he popped another spoonful of yogurt past his lips, loudly smacking them right against the receiver of his jitterbug.

"Well, all I need is for you to get the box and read me the code that's imprinted on the inside of the flap!" You announced.

"Well, you see, I would, sweet'art... But my sight isn't so good anymore..." Simon replied. "I'm getting up there in age, you know?" He continued eating his yogurt.

"I understand, sir." You replied. "I'm sorry to hear that. One of my cousins also started losing his vision pretty early." You announced.

Huh.

There was no hint of forced sympathy in your voice.

No, you were being genuine. That was a real story of your life you were telling him...

But you had picked up on the fact he was trolling you, right? So why were you-

"Good thing though, about this system of ours, is that you can just confirm your credit card details so we can double check them and get you that prize!" You had, your tone right back to the scamming silver-tongue you had held until now.

Secretly, Simon had to admit that he admired your commitment to the bit. He couldn't help but smile a bit, amused.

"Oh, of course. Let me just set you down while I get my card." Simon replied and got up, finishing his yogurt and tossing out the plastic container, popping the spoon into the sink, and, after setting down his phone, he walked out of the room.

Simon glanced down at his wrist watch, noting the time on it, then, approached his bedroom door, grabbing his over-the-door pull-up bars, and began doing a quick set, leaving you to 'wait' for him in the kitchen.

After a few sets, he waltzed back into the kitchen and grabbed his phone again. "You still there, da'lin'?" He beckoned in a gruff tone.

You sighed, your politeness sounding slightly more forced. He had kept you waiting for over ten minutes after all. "Yes, sir, I am. Did you get your card, Mr. Wanh'a?"

"Oh, please, enough of this 'sir' thing, Mr. Wanh'a was my mother." He replied, then went silent for just a beat, almost like he could hear your frustration sizzling on he other end.

He was being more and more obvious with his trolling... And it pleased him immensely to imagine a parasite like you seething on the other end of the line, reaching your wits' end.

"You can just call me 'Ai', it's what my friends call me." Simon continued, a smirk forming on his lips. "And we're friends now, right? You're giving me a cruise and everythin'." He added, his tone just as charismatic and peppy as his had been.

"I guess we are!" You replied, returning the overly cheery tone. "So, 'Ai Wanh'a', then?" You asked, but he could hear the mix of frustration and amusement behind your voice.

"Yeah? What d'you want, babygirl?" Simon asked, unable to resist making a more impish remark. And, unfortunately, it had the desired result. It genuinely caused your brain to blue-screen for a moment.

Sure, you'd experienced plenty of people getting angry at you when you attempt to scam them, or even trolling you the same way this bloke was doing but...

It was definitely a first, to have someone flirt with you, even if it was still part of his trolling attempt.

"Your... credit card details?" You ended up adding, your voice still showing the surprise and light meekness that came from him catching you off-guard.

"Oh, of course. Are you ready? It's a very complex number." He replied.

"Ready when you are." You added as you steeled yourself for another smartass response or run around from him.

"Here it is: 1234-5678-9987-6543." He replied, reciting the numbers 1-9 in order and then backward. "And the three digits on the back are: 210."

Oh, he was so fucking annoying! He didn't get to troll you, even if it was pretty amusing of him to do so, then flirt with you, then go back to trolling.

"Sir, if you're not interested in the cruise, just say so. There's no need for this mockery." You replied, your tone serious and professional though you were definitely seething on the inside.

Simon could tell. And he reveled in it. "Oh, but I am interested!" He replied with a smirk behind his voice. "In fact, I want to know more. Will my cabin in the cruise have an ocean view?"

Simon heard you inhale aggressively on the other side of the line, steeling yourself not to hang up on him, or down right berating him on the phone. "Yes, Ai, of course!" He heard your fake cheeriness through your clenched teeth. "It'll be a luxury cabin, actually. Isn't that great?"

"No, it's not that great, actually. I get very seasick, you see?" Simon murmured. "Not to mention, ever since my pet goldfish died, I've just never been able to look at the ocean the same..." He added in a forced pitiful tone.

You went quiet again on the other side and Simon knew he had finally worn you out. He waited to hear the clicking sound of the call falling, but, instead, he just heard you let out a sigh.

"You're very frustrating." You murmured.

"Oh, my, is this how you speak to all your prize winners?" Simon gasped dramatically.

"Shut up... You didn't have to be a smartass, you know?!" You scolded him, as if you had any ground to stand on.

"No, I fear I did, sweet'art." Simon replied as he leaned casually against the kitchen counter. "You called me, interrupted my day, and wasted my time with a scam, of all things. I have every right to be a smartass and have some fun with it." He added, a smug tone obvious in the dulcets of his deep voice.

"Okay? You could've just hung up on me?" You were truly grasping at straws to justify your behaviour. It was comical.

Simon laughed dryly. "And waste an opportunity to annoy a parasitic leech like you?" He quipped.

That stunned you into silence for a moment and you couldn't help but pout a bit.

"Not to mention, what you're doing is illegal, you know that righ'? And I'm military, I could get you arrested for this." He added.

"For that, you'd need to know where I am." You retorted, maybe a bit bratilly. "Besides, I knew you were a soldier."

"And how did you know that?"

"You used the NATO phonetic alphabet while spelling 'your' name'." You replied directly. "Nobody spells 'Aiden' as 'Alpha-India-Delta-Echo-November'."

"So you knew I was military and you still went ahead with your little scam attempt? You're not that bright, are you?" He defied you, which earned him a scoff from your end.

"No, I already knew you were trolling me."

"Oh, so you just wanted to waste my time?"

"That's exactly it, Aiden."

"Sounds to me like you're just looking for trouble, da'lin'." He quipped, his voice having lowered to a gruffer tone.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed. "Am not. I'm just enjoying myself. You're not the only one that can make jokes at people's expenses."

"No, you really are..." He tutted his tongue and shook his head. "Need I remind you you were trying to scam me, and other people?" He added in a tone that sent a shiver down your spine.

"I know what I was doing."

"Yeah? And are you proud of that? Proud of being a conniving little cunt who tries to take people's hard-earned money?" He taunted you.

You didn't reply. Of course you weren't proud. You still had a conscience! But you wouldn't tell him that. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of hearing you apologise.

"I see. You don't like what I'm saying, so you give me the silent treatment, is that it, sweet'art?" He teased. You could hear the smirk behind his words.

"I wonder if you'd still act like this if you had to face me and had to answer for yourself."

Closing your fists tight, you steel yourself again to gain some edge and reply to him. "I guess you're going to keep wondering then. Because it's not happening."

"You know, it's a shame your little computer spat out my phone number for you to call..." He trailed off.

"And why's that?"

"Because instead of anyone else, you got me... And that's just... really bad luck for you. Any other service member, you would've been fine..." He trailed off.

"What, are you some sort of General-Major-Chief thing, super high up the ladder?" You taunted.

Simon simply chuckled dryly on the other side of the line. "No. But I'm definitely the worst person you could've tried to play with."

"Oh, big scary man, what are you gonna do? Gonna come teach me a lesson?" You added, taunting him some more, clearly feeling comfortable behind your laptop, with your smartphone, sitting at home, comfortable and warm, with your pet at your feet. "Oh, I'm so scared!" You added, feigning fear in a dramatic tone.

"Is that a challenge I'm hearing, sweet'art? Inviting me to come pay you a visit?" Simon asked you, his brow cocking, despite the fact you couldn't see it.

You don't know what it was about the way he spoke. The way he said that. The way his voice sounded.

It sent a shiver down your spine, a cold sweat, like he was, for the first time, not joking around anymore.

"No...?" You murmured in reply, feeling your shoulders tensing in an unpleasant way.

"Yeah... That's an invite I'm hearing..." He disregarded what you said and chuckled. "Maybe I'll come pay you a visit then, hey? How does that sound, little leech?"

#ikea writes 💚 #tw phone scam #cod mw2 #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley #cod fanfic #masterlist #ghost x reader #phone scammer #crack fic #ddne #dead dove do not eat

[gh0stsp1d3r]

IDEA FOR UR TEENAGERS SERIES THINGY

Reader discovers how to use her super speed powers again while shes hanging out with all the other spiders (miles, gwen, pav, ofc her bf hobie) and they decide to go swinging around the city on her planet while shes running instead (maybe theyre having a race or something idk)

OOO

𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬... 𝐏𝐭 𝟏𝟏

“Okay, so basically, you have super speed and you can control time?!” Miles exclaimed, as he drunk his shake.

“Well.. I used to be able to. I can’t do either anymore. I don’t know why but..” you shrugged, taking a sip of yours and Hobies drink.

“I definitely did not see that coming.” Gwen mumbled.

“Yeah, my girl is even cooler now, ain’t she.” He put his arm around you.

“Your girl? Thought you didn’t like labels.”

“I don’t. And you ain’t no one’s property, and you are a free woman to do whatever you want, but you are my girl.”

You looked at him in confusion but laughed. “All right then..”

“Nothing of what you just said made sense, bro.” Pavitr said.

You all laughed.

“I say.. we all have a race. Like a swinging race.”

“What about me?” You asked.

“You can run.. who knows maybe your power will come back.” Miles said, as a joke.

“Ha ha, very funny. Sure, that’s cool.” You hit his arm.

“Sounds good to me.” Pavitr said.

“Sure.” Hobie shrugged.

“Cool.” Gwen said.

You all left after a while, everyone getting ready to start swinging.

“Okay, so where do we meet?”

“Just like uh…that one park we went to.” Miles said.

“Alright.” You said.

“That’s like… 3 miles away.” Miles looked at you.

You sighed.

“If it’s too much I’ll get an Uber or something.” You shrugged.

“Alright, suit yourself.”

“1, 2, and… 3!” They all started to swing, feet off the ground. As soon as you ran, something felt off. You didn’t run often, and it was odd.

First you started off normally, then the speed increased. It increased to the point where your shoes went on fire, and you were at the park in a matter of seconds. The whole team stopped for a moment and stared in shock.

“What the-“ you mumbled, yelling as you realized your shoes were on fire. The kids and parents staring at you.

You put out the fire, and sighed.

“What?” You looked at everyone staring.

You looked and saw everyone still swinging. Hobie with a giant smile on his face as you stood there in complete shock.

“This is crazy. This is absolutely fucking crazy.” You mumbled to yourself, pacing back and fourth.

Hobie raced down to you when he got on the ground, around him turning a bright pink as his eye lenses were wide.

“Holy shit, that was so cool! We were all like ‘oh fuck mate, what the fuck is that?’ And I haven’t gotten a scooby doo on how it happened but-“

“Hobie what the fuck am I supposed to do?!” You grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t wanna live my life running like the fuckin’ flash!”

“Don’t know who that is, but I’m sure he’s cool.”

“He is but I don’t want this.. these stupid.. oh my god. Does this mean my time powers are back to?”

“Holy shit. My future wife is so fuckin’ sick.” He said.

“Hobie! This isn’t a good thing-“

“It should be! This is fuckin’ amazing, darling.”

You sighed. “How am I gonna explain this to Miguel? He’s already pissed that we keep jumping dimensions to meet up.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“What?”

“If you don’t wanna tell him, I will.

You sighed. “All right. I’ll tell him.”

Hobie smiled and kissed you.

“Also, I kinda ruined your converse..” you said.

He looked at the shoes you had on, you lifted your leg and showed the bottom of it.

“Ehh. It’s whatever. I’ll get new ones.” He shrugged.

“By her do you by any chance mean steal?”

“You know me so well.”

“I sure do.”

Tag list:

@enviinotes @rayis-psychotic @korizzybee @animechick555 @stupid-ninja @rreasonablydumbb @xxqueen-of-horrorxx @spidypunkk @criodzasn

@techta @1eonk @chipstermation6 @whosace16 @l-pandamatic-l

@spider-phoenix @zebralover @my-melo-gf @wiz-te-ria @tzuyuzzs @luvsaluv @mxkn

@deputy-videogamer @666kpopfan @jared-oranges @likelilac @jjkclub

@kitty-kei @blaxk-widow @hoesindifferentshows @lavsluvsu @lampylamperson @artsykerfuffleplus @notbluees @sp0kyzz @arlipooh

#hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #spider punk #spider punk x reader #spider man across the spider verse #teenagers hobie brown series

[harrywavycurly]

Fake Husband Eddie Part 2: Meeting Someone?

Part 1: here

Part 3: here

Tag List: @alana4610 @fluentmoviequoter @alicentswife @vivalasv3gan @goth-cowgirl-03 @yujyujj @slowgabinaburninroom @zaddyskye69

TW: Cursing and drinking

A/N: Before you all come for me don’t worry there is a part 3 and it’s the final part of this little trilogy lol also idk why I added in Frank and the Hideout backstory it was just something that was sitting in the back of my mind and it fit. Anywayyyy enjoy!!✨

You smooth out the front of your shirt as you sit down on one of the worn out barstools at the back of the Hideout. It’s been exactly a week since you met Eddie and it only felt right that the two of you have your first official date at the bar you met at. Over the span of a week you two have gotten to know each other quite well, you learned that Eddie would much rather FaceTime you than text you because he likes to hear your voice, especially your laugh he loves how it sounds even through the phone. You also learned that he loves his job, he works at the garage in town and he’s always got his head under someone’s hood fixing a transmission or tinkering with a stubborn fuel line.

Eddie has learned things about you as well, he knows that you like to read before bed and he doesn’t know why but it shocked him a bit to learn the two of you have a few books in common on your bookshelves. He notices things like how you try to hide your face when you’re smiling and he just assumes that’s something you’ve always done but he’s made a mental note to try to remind you how pretty you are when you smile because it’s really one of his favorite things to see. You go on little rants about things that have bothered you during the day and he loves how passionate you get because your arms go everywhere and you also always end it with “you know what I mean?” and even if he has no clue he can’t help but smile and just nod and reassure you that yes he knows what you mean.

The two of you have grown close over the past several days and you’ve started to develop a rather large crush on the long haired metal head. Luckily for you though Eddie made his feelings known the night he drove you home from the hideout.

“You know what?” You turn your head and look at Eddie who’s smiling at you as he watches you reach for the handle of the passenger side door of his van.

“What?” Eddie leans over his middle console so he can tuck a few stay hairs behind your ear making you blush as you feel his hand brush against your cheek.

“I think I like you.” You raise an eyebrow at him as you playfully glare at him making him laugh.

“You think?” You tease as Eddie reaches for your hand that has his skull ring on it, you smile as you watch him twirl it around your finger since it’s a little too big for you but you like how it feels so you haven’t taken it off.

“Sorry sweetheart.” He looks up at you as you find yourself leaning into him. “I know I like you.” He adds right before he places a kiss to your lips making you smile as he pulls away.

The sound of a glass being set down in front of you jolts you out of your daydream as you blink a few times before looking around to see if Eddie has shown up yet. You look at your phone and see it’s only ten minutes past six, the time you both agreed to meet so you just brush it off to him being a little late and look up to see the bartender cleaning a few glasses in front of you.

“What can I get ya?” Frank the bartender and half owner of the Hideout asks as he gives you a smile. “I make a mean martini.” He jokes as he shoots you a playful wink making you laugh.

“Uh I’ll just have a vodka tonic please.” He nods and starts making your drink. “Have you worked here a while?” You ask trying to make small talk to help the time pass before Eddie shows up and this is only the second time you’ve ever been here so might as well get to know the bartenders.

“You could say that.” Frank answers as he slides your drink in front of you. “I’m Frank and I may not look it but I’m one of the Hideout's original customers.” You just nod your head encouraging him to continue as you take a sip of your drink, Frank is an older gentleman with long gray hair he has tucked into a low pony on the back of his neck and a few tattoos scattered around his forearms that are only visible because he has his flannel rolled up to his elbows. “I helped them name this place because we used to meet here back in the day when it wasn’t actually a bar, to hideout from people we didn’t want to see or nagging wives we were avoiding so when they wanted to turn it into a bar I said why not just call it the Hideout?” Frank explained and you couldn’t help but giggle at the mention of avoiding nagging wives.

“It’s a great name.” You watch him smile as he looks around the bar to see if anyone needs anything.

“Meeting someone?” Frank asks as he glances down at the giant skull ring on your ring finger.

“Uh yeah.” You’re not sure how to answer his question so you just go with your gut. “My husband actually.” Frank just smiles and nods as he goes back to cleaning glasses as you slowly sip on your drink as you anxiously look at your phone again and let out a sigh when you see it’s now six thirty.

Eddie is elbows deep in a minivan’s engine that is just refusing to let him get his fingers in the correct place to install a new part. He lets out a frustrated groan as he takes a step back from the van and places his grease covered hands on his hips and closes his eyes and looks up towards the ceiling of the garage. He wonders for a moment what you’re going to wear on your date with him tonight, he’s had tonight circled on his calendar all week and he’d be lying if he didn’t say he even added little hearts to it and everything.

“Why do all minivans have to be so damn stubborn?” He mumbles as he opens his eyes and takes a step closer to the van. “I’m just trying to help you.” He explains as he uses his wrist to wipe some sweat off his brow, as he drops it back down to his side he feels his whole world begin to move in slow motion when he catches the time on his watch. “Oh fuck fuck fuck.” He drops the wrench in his left hand and heads for the break room of the garage.

“Eddie?” Greg the parts guy asks as Eddie rushes past him so he can grab his stuff from his locker.

“I’m late!” Eddie shouts over his shoulder as he heads for the door. He quickly jumps into his van and starts the engine as he digs around in his bag for his phone. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding.” He groans when he sees his phone is on 10% battery because he forgot to put it on the charger after falling asleep on FaceTime with you last night. He looks at the clock and silently prays to whoever it is that might be listening to let you still be waiting for him even though it’s well after eight at night and he was supposed to meet you at six.

“Shit shit.” He presses your name in his phone and it rings once before his whole screen goes black meaning his phone is dead. “Fuck!” Eddie feels like his heart is in his stomach as he pulls out of the parking lot of his work and heads straight for the Hideout.

He doesn’t look for your car in the bar’s parking lot because he knows you planned to get dropped off so he could just take you home. He not so gently snatches his keys from the ignition after putting it in park and slams his door closed as he exits the van. He ignores the looks he’s getting form the men outside smoking as he rushes into the bar, he’s sure he looks like he’s lost with his work overalls on tied around his waist and his hair in a messy bun and grease stains everywhere. Frank turns when he hears the door open and he raises an eyebrow at Eddie when he lets out a sigh at all the empty seats in the back of the bar, exactly where you told him you’d be so he could meet you.

“Looking for your wife?” Eddie looks at the bartender and nods his head because you’d been jokingly calling yourself his wife all week so of course you’d tell the bartender you were waiting for your husband. Frank tosses something at Eddie and when he catches it and sees what it is he feels his heart break a bit. “Left about an hour ago.” He adds as Eddie stares at the skull ring that’s sitting in the palm of his hand.

“Oh no.” And with that Eddie turns on his heels and runs straight back out to the parking lot towards his van because no way is he letting him being an idiot be the reason you two end things.

#Eddie Munson fake marriage au #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson au #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #Eddie Munson #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things au #my little dungeon master baby #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson concept #fake marriage au

[catboybiologist]

Okay maybe it's time to make an actual designated pinned post

Edit: hiya! A new pinned post will come, but quick note that I am starting my transition MtF now. This pinned post, and all the pictures in it, predate that, however. General guide is that I'm referring to pre transition me as a femboy, and will be referring to myself as a trans woman to moment I start HRT. But I'm leaving this old pinned post up for now.

Hi! I'm CatboyBiologist. I'm a grad student in Molecular Biology with a passion for the ocean, nature, Fromsoft games, national parks, and weird tech stuff. I tastefully hornypost about men, women, and all others (so be warned), post spicy hot memes (fuck you I'm the funniest mfer alive), type out long rambles about science and nature, and play Fromsoft games. PLEASE send me cute pictures of your pets.

Oh yeah, I'm also a cis man who does this sometimes:

I also make shitposts out of myself sometimes

I've also made a couple guides on how to replicate these kinds of looks.

General overview of femboy stuff:

How I create cleavage looks from a relatively flat chest:

If you want a somewhat more realistic idea of what my figure looks like:

The best way to specifically see those posts and filter out everything else is probably to use the femboy tag on my profile.

Pronouns? Uuuuuhhhhhhhhh, idk dude just use whatever. It's far more gratifying to me to throw a look out there and see what people wanna use for it than to declare my pronouns. If that doesn't make sense to you, they/them or he/him is cool.

Asks and DMs are always open for science talk, cute animal pictures, casual non creepy flirting, or whatever else... With the SOLE exception of these two questions that I get WAY too often and will give final answers to here:

"Are you a biologist who studies catboys or a biologist that just happens to be a Catboy?"

Both. Do humans not study human biology?

(also I'm actually studying bio irl)

"why is it not catboyologist, hmmm? I am very clever"

To give a serious answer to a joking question I get way too much: This online persona (or whatever you want to call it) is about balancing and integrating two large parts of my personality: my career in and passion for biology, and my queerness and gender nonconformity. I wanted both of those parts to be clear, in a cute and fun username. Basically, "catboyologist" only has the same effect as my actual username if you already know my actual username- you can't interpret the "biologist" part from "catboyologist".

Plus, "catboyologist" has too many consecutive wide vowels. CatboyBiologist breaks it up so it sounds punchier.

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tag, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

I'll also abuse other tags I use somewhat frequently, so hi y'all

#196 #r196 #r/196 #femboy #/r/196 #rule #cross dressing #catboy #cute crossdreser #biology #oceanposting

[vancehopperenthusiast]

Maybe I’m your soulmate. || Robin Arellano

Summary- the week you move to Denver, is also the week robin gets suspended. what happens when Finney welcomes you with open arms and you two quickly become friends, bestfriends even (I'll give you a hint, robin isn't too happy.)

Tags- studying, enemies to ??? flirters?? , group project, best friends, fuckin moose, jealous robin, that's all i think

CWS- cursing ..? i think thats it

Notes- HIHI uhm idk if im gonna write a part 2 for this atm but if you guys want one i will! uhm also sorry for shitty grammar LMAO i suck at stuff like that

Moving was never easy, especially not when you join a new school in the middle of the year.

Although you quickly got situated when you met Finney Blake, you and he had been friends for a little over a week & it was safe to say you considered him your best friend.

That Friday morning when you walked to school with Finney and Gwen like usual, the second you neared the school, chanting was heard

“FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT” the group yelled while a taller, much paler boy spoke, “I will pound you like a nail you scrawny little shithead.”

“then do it, unless you’re scared.”

You looked at Finney, “Who the fuck has the balls to fight moose?”



“Robin Arellano.” Gwen answered, “Who? Am I supposed to know him?” You were bombarded with questions as a fight broke out.

You watched intently while listening to your answer, “Robin was Finney’s best friend until he got sent to his grandma's for a week because he got suspended, he’s also the toughest kid in school next to Pinball Vance Hopper.”

“Was Finney's best friend?” you repeated

“Yeah Robin could never call so we kinda just drifted, I was sad for a while but then you came into the picture,” Finney spoke up at last.

you were about to say something else until the actual fight broke out, Robin demolishing Moose, he probably broke his nose.

“Holy shit!” Gwen gasped, her mouth agape, “Let’s go guys.” Finney tugged at Gwen’s arm that wouldn’t budge. When the girl finally moved she was already yapping about it.

“What the hell!! That was Moose!” the brunette said agitatedly.

“I don’t care” The short-haired brunette rolled his eyes, looking to the side.

“He probably deserved it!” You laughed, “Moose is a giant asshole, Finn.”

He nearly responded but someone else did for him, “Hey Finn, what’s happening” You rose your brow at the nickname, a hand snaked around his shoulder.

“Robin, you just came back! You can’t be getting into fights already” Finney laughed, shrugging off his arm.

“Moose needed the beat down if you ask me, ain’t that right Gwen?” He leaned forward, turning his head towards Gwen and your direction.

When he saw you instead of Gwen his eyebrows furrowed in confusion; “Who’s this? Your girlfriend? ooh, Donna won’t be too happy to hear that you’re two-timing Finn” He joked.

You smiled, “Nah me and Finn are just friends. I try giving advice but uh you know how he is, stubborn and hardheaded." you gave Finney a nudge in his side, and he rolled his eyes in response.



"finn? yo i thought i was the only one who called you that? since I'M your bestfriend n all. is she a bully? i don't fight girls but i know people who do." the long haired brunette said intimidatingly.

"hey man chill, finney is allowed to have other friends! especially after you ditched him!" gwen defended.

"i didn't fucking ditch him! i was suspended and couldn't talk to anyone for like a week!" the bandanaed boy exclaimed, an offensive look on his face.

you and finney both opened your mouth to say something, but the bell rung, and students started filling to their classes. "gotta go. later finn, later gwen. Arellano" you nodded before walking off, making your way to your class. shuffling with the other students.

"alright class, as you know.. or not seeing as most of you cannot read," the teacher sighed, his monotone voice staying through out his lecture, "you will have two big projects, middle of the year and end of the year. today marks the OFFICAL start of the end of the school year, hold your applause. you will be working in pairs of two, on the classical big bang theory." the teacher huffed and began explaining the rest of the project.

youy groaned quietly, putting your head in your hands, what if you get paired up with braxton rose? he was the worst! he put gum in your hair before winter break, it took hours to get it out.

"now i will be announcing the pairs. boo who cry me a river ashley. you're not getting paired up with vance OR kamala." vance was the boyfriend, kamala was the bestie. if you couldnt tell.

"right so first we have.." the names ran through and through your ears until you heard your name at last. "Y/N and.. Robin. thats all class, now you can go. projects are due next week."  you gasped, robin was in this class? the fuck? you hadn't even noticed. i mean you could always ask mr green to switch partners, but his divorce was already stressing him out. being a middle school teacher is even worse, so nah not a chance.

begrudgingly, you pushed your self out of the plastic chair, stretching  your joints. you grabbed your stuff and turned to find robin, your eyes didnt have to strain themselves for long because he was right at your desk. "hey robin, meet up at the library, five? bring your shit. we'll start planning?" you asked assertively.

"uhm can't we do it right after school? maybe i've got plans. plus we have study hall, we can do it then?" he tried his best to reschedule.

you sighed, "do you have something to do at five exactly?"

robin smiled, shaking his head left to right, "Nah, sorry. I'll see you after school?"

"alright see ya," you groaned, mentally slapping yourself in the face, robin areallno? of all people. Braxton would be better than this.

the day finished swiftly. leaving you an hour and a half to get home, freshen up and get to the library on time.

Keep reading

you had barely made it on time. three minutes till the clock struck five, when you entered the deserted library, apart from a few nerds studying, robin was nowhere to be found. you scoffed, sitting down at a table in the back, pulling your books out, shaking your leg anxiously until he showed up.

it was about five-ten when he did. you had sat there looking like a loser! he walked in coolly, sliding into a seat next to you. "you're late."

"sorry I fell asleep anyways I'm ready to work now." he cheesed, opening up his notebook, and helping



you two had worked for about twenty minutes before you hit a gigantic boulder. a boulder that stopped your work entirely for half an hour. "this isn't gonna work. you're too overbearing." he ran a hand through his hair.

had it always been that pretty? maybe it just looked better now that there wasnt crimson colored liquid in it.

you shrugged the thought off, "would you be more comfy in more well know space? we could go to yours and work on it there?"



"fuck no! you could be a murderer for all i know." he tried his best to look intimidating but his eyes weren't completely objecting to the scenerio.

you smiled cheekily, looking him in his eyes for the first time in a while leaning up in your seat slightly to get closer to him, "maybe i'm your soulmate." you could see him get flustered. it was almost embarrassing for you.



just then the old timey grandfather clock rang, "ah thats me. see ya robin." grabbing your things and walking out.

robin sat there however, what the hell just happened? were you flirting? wasn't this a rivalry for the companionship of finney blake? yeah okay that was weird. however, what was weirder is the fact that he wasn't absolutely disgusted by the fact that you were flirting with him.





well shit

#robin arellano #finney blake #griffin stagg #paperboy #vance hopper #the black phone #pinball #pinball vance #pinball vance hopper #robin arellano x reader #the black phone x reader

[halucynator]

END OF 2023

sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx

hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)

so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶

@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh

@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍

@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶

@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want

@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'

@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)

@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️

@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu

@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3

@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3

@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3

@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕

@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33

@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍

@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️

these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME

also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶

@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)

#moots <3 #end of 2023 #goodbye 2023 #here i come 2024 #please suck even less #luce posts 💌

[specialbrewbutterbeer]

Could you write something about Rooster and reader where she works at Penny’s and he gets jealous cause of Hangman or another aviator flirting with her(or maybe just another guy?) Idk I trust you;)

Mine (Bradley'Rooster'Bradshaw X Reader)

Word Count: 2742

TW: alcohol, jealousy, sorta suggestive

A/N: I loved this request! I think it came out well and loved writing it so I hope you enjoy! I'm currently working through requests slowly, but I will get to yours asap- so feel free to keep requesting. Feedback is appreciated and very needed also so please do leave it!

If you want to be added to the Rooster Tag List, please comment on the masterlist rather than here if you can, just for ease of adding you. Enjoy! :)

REQUESTS (OPEN)

MASTERLIST

(Y/n) had worked at the Hard Deck since way before Penny Benjamin had taken it over. She'd worked there since she was seventeen- she was very used to getting hit on by pilots.

She had been out with a few initially- which her parents didn't like, because almost all of these young men were much closer to twenty five than her own age- not they necessarily knew that. She let them assume whatever they wanted about her age. But nothing ever came of these relationships. She found them all arrogant, self centered and out of touch.

She liked them- Hell, they were all pretty to look at, and a conversation or two was fine, but anything else was just off the table.

Well- that was until Bradshaw.

The deciding factor was that she didn't meet him in the bar.

She met him in the parking lot- which doesn't sound that big of a change but made all the difference.

She'd been bringing in some crates of new glasses she'd been to collect from the wholesalers, there were five of them in the trunk of her car and they were heavy- but manageable.

"Hey-" She heard someone call out. She looked up and saw a guy about her age, with a neat moustache, jogging toward her across the lot, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and with his sunglasses slipping down his nose a little. He waved and called out again.

"Hey- Can I help you with that?" He asked, slowing to a stroll as he got close enough not to shout and pushing up his glasses.

"Hi- Uh-" She thought for a second. "Yeah- please do." She smiled and motioned to the trunk. "Grab a crate and follow me." He nodded.

"Yes, Ma'am." He gave a warm smile which honestly made her twitch.

She heard the clinking of the glasses as he picked one of the crates, with a fair amount of ease.

"I've seen you before?" She questioned as she turned and pressed her back against the side door. "You're a pilot?"

"Yeah- only been here a couple weeks though." He nodded.

"Oh- sure." She shuffled an old broken brick, which they used as a doorstop, over to the door with her foot, to prop it open. "You're one of the Top Gun students then?"

"Yeah-" He gave a nod again.

"Right." She turned again and lead him inside and to the bar. "Just put em' down here." She motioned and put down her own box.

"Right." He spoke and didn't falter to do as instructed.

"You good for another one?" She asked and he just smiled and nodded.

"You worked here long then?" It was his turn to ask questions.

"Oh yeah- since I was a teenager." She smiled as they made their way back to the car.

"And you like it?" He asked.

"Oh yeah- We get all you millitary types in, but that's alright, I've learnt how to deal with you." She teased. She didn't usually talk like that but she thought he was good-looking and at least quite polite.

"Oh- You get some of the rough ones in then, huh?" He laughed.

"Loads of em'." She nodded and picked up another crate. "You don't seem so bad though?" She asked.

"Thank you- I think. But no- my mother raised me to be better than that I hope." He raised an eyebrow.

She laughed and nodded, walking away with her crate.

Quite quickly the pilot picked up a second crate and came after her.

"My name's- Bradley, by the way- or Rooster." She spoke as he caught up.

"Nice to meet you- Rooster." She smiled over her shoulder at him. "I'm (y/n), no official alternative." She joked.

"I like that name-" He nodded.

"I'm glad, because I'm stuck with it." She laughed.

"Well it suits you." He smirked as they reached the bar once more. "Do you want me to get that last one?" He asked as they both set down their glasses.

"Oh- um, yeah- If you wouldn't mind." She nodded and fumbled around her pockets looking for her keys. "Here, if could close the trunk and lock it too- It'd be much appreciated." She smiled and held out her keys to him.

"My pleasure Ma'am." He nodded and turned on his heel.

"Thank you." She mumbled and made a mental note to say it properly when he got back.

Wow- She definitely had a rule against pilots, especially ones who drank here- but she liked him.

She shook it off and started unloading the glasses and putting them away, and serving the few people who were in there- since it was the early evening and they'd been open about an hour, but between her and her co-worker, who was busy washing glasses at the other end of the bar, they got through serving very quickly at this time of night.

Rooster appeared again with the last crate, which he put down with the others and put down her keys on the bar for her.

"There you go- locked and loaded." He grinned at his own joke whilst (y/n) just rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Thank you- I presume you were here for a drink?" She asked and he nodded, sitting down at the bar in front of her. "Good- I can give you one on the house for your help then." She gave a small, twitchy smile and started pouring him a beer.

"Thanks-" he spoke, taking a long sip from the glass as she handed the drink to him.

"So- you waiting for someone?" She asked, suddenly feeling she should just take the chance, it wouldn't hurt after all.

Rooster shook his head.

"Only my classmates- but they're running late so I got down here early." He explained. "Good thing I did, eh?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah-" She spoke a little meekly.

And that was it. That was the start off a casual, on-off relationship that lasted the entire way through his time at Top Gun.

Until the last night.

The final day after graduation, all the graduates decided it would be a good idea to go- in their full uniforms and with high spirits, back to their usual hangout one last time.

There had been a sadness between (y/n) and Bradley for the past while- knowing he'd be leaving soon, but they looked past it.

Tonight he was a weird mix of ecstatic and strangely morbid- now having surpassed his father's achievements. He didn't have any family there to celebrate with- and that was a little off putting- but he was happy all the same.

They all walked in- and there she was- as per tradition, as she always was, behind the bar.

She heard the noise of the rabble as they came through the doors and looked up from pouring.

The lot of them- glossily suntanned, grinning and brushed up in their full dress uniform. It was quite a sight. Rooster looked particularly good.

"Congratulations-" She grinned, handing over the beer she had been pouring to it's recipient, who quickly slunk away as the bar was soon surrounded by airmen.

"Since It's your graduation- I'm allowed to give you all one drink each- on the house. The rest you'll have to pay for." She grinned and a cheer went up.

She started tapping open bottles and pouring for each of them, and then paused as Rooster made his way to the front of the crowded bar.

"Hey sunshine-" He spoke- his nickname for her spilling out happily. She liked his nicknames.

"Hiya- how you feeling?" She asked with more of a grin than a smirk on her face. This uniform suited him well, almost better than his usual Hawaiian shirts and aviators.

"Ah- good, you know- just looking ahead." He smiled, and looked like he was gonna say more, but didn't.

"That's good- Congratulations, stud." She teased a little, but meant the sentiment.

He laughed and shook his head and she passed him his usual drink.

"Thank you." He smiled.

(Y/n) moved down the bar, getting to serving the rest of the graduates.

"Hiya, Sweets-" She heard, and looked up to find Hangman leant on the bar and staring at her with a cocky smirk on his face. She had spoken to him many times, he'd hit on her a little but she'd shut it down like she did with (almost) everyone else. She actually thought he could be quite alright despite his arrogance, and got on okay with him. She was used to pilots like that.

"Hi." She smiled politely. "I'm only putting up with that because it's a big day for you all-" She laughed.

"What?" He cocked an eyebrow as she poured for him. "But you are so sweet lookin'- I just can't help myself."

"Thanks-" She shook her head and laughed, in a good mood and willing to put up with it, though making no attempt to knowingly encourage it.

"No- I mean it." He smirked.

"And I believe you." She nodded and handed him his drink.

Rooster looked down the bar and spotted them talking- that stupid look on Hangman's face. He rolled his eyes and then caught a few words of what passed between them.

"Since it's a 'big day'-" Hangman repeated the phrase she had used. "Can't I buy you a drink, Sweets- a goodbye present?" He asked, holding out a couple notes folded, between his pointer and note fingers.

She hesitated and raised an eyebrow at him.

Bradley found himself, not angry, but highly uncomfortable and certainly jealous of his classmate. I mean, they weren't a couple, not officially, but people knew that they were involved. Hangman especially knew, he made fun of Bradley all the time for it. Still- he didn't feel he had the right to intervene. He just watched as she finally took the money and put it in her pocket.

She paused for a second and laughed. Hangman hadn't left the bar, so she beckoned him closer.

"Since you've been so persistent- and since you're leaving- and even been nice enough to buy me a drink..." She laughed, not even thinking about it. "I guess you can have one thing-"

"Oh yeah?" Hangman asked, curious.

"Yeah- come here." She couldn't help but giggle and Hangman leant forward. She pecked his cheek and ruffled his hair up. It was more playful than anything else.

He just laughed. He knew she was just taking the piss out of him- he could take that. He got the message.

"Alright- thanks." He rolled his eyes.

"Fly safe." She laughed at him and nodded, punching his arm lightly.

"Yeah-" He smiled at her and was pulled away by some of the other graduates.

She looked up and down the bar, still with a smile on her lips and shaking her head at the pilot's antics.

She spotted Bradley staring, and immediately realised that he'd seen her indulging Hangman's flirtation.

She initially didn't think anything of it. They'd not really talked about what they'd do when he left- she assumed he didn't care so much.

But he looked dejected by it, when he saw her notice him, he looked away quickly, trying to hide it. There was a sort of disgruntled surprise about him.

The smile fell from (y/n)'s face. She breathed deeply and put one back on as she finished serving.

About ten minutes later, she was mainly done with the pilots and other regulars- there weren't many needing served, and her co-worker was managing it. She decided to go and grab something from the storeroom out back. She crossed the room and pushed through a door. She flipped the light on and went to a shelf, looking through for what she wanted and tidying a little.

It was only a minute she could have been in there before she heard the squeak of the door.

She turned, her co-worker wouldn't leave the bar unattended- they weren't irresponsible.

She looked up to find Bradley.

"Hey?" She asked, confused.

He said nothing, just moved to her and put a hand on her waist, the other to the small of her back- his fingertips pressed forcefully into her skin.

She flushed as he looked down at her.

"Rooster-" She stuttered and spoke under her breath- a little taken aback by the usually polite and courteous pilot's behaviour, but not put off.

"Don't flirt with that ass-" He spoke, his voice deep and words slow, a little desperate, almost moaning, and then pressed his lips hungrily to her neck and collarbone.

She flushed pink and squirmed- not because she was uncomfortable- quite the opposite.

"I wasn't flirting-" She whined, making sure he knew she didn't want him to stop by grabbing ahold on that pretty uniform of his and pulling him closer.

"Looked like you were-" He spoke into her, a low sort of growling tone to it. She shook her head.

"Mmm- No..." She almost whimpered, which he could feel through her, as he kissed her and held her tighter, lifting her shirt slightly and his fingertips tracing under the edge of the waistline of her jeans. She slid her hands up to his cheeks and guided his kisses up her neck, until she could kiss his jaw sloppily.

"You sure about that?" He spoke slowly as her hands settled on the nape of his neck and shoulder, then graduated to kissing her lips. He could taste her vanilla lip balm and the drink she had picked up with the money.

Cherry coke.

She nodded and smiled as she kissed him back, dug her nails into his shoulder and pushed her body against his.

"You-" He spoke, pulling away just breifing before kissing her again. "You're mine." His voice was still desperate, but now equally commanding, knowing, deep and growling. It was a statement, not a question.

After another few seconds, he pulled away. He looked at her right in the eyes- observed her chest heave up and down as she got her breath back, the pinkness spread over face and body, the look on her face that begged for more, he felt her tight grip on him- and smirked.

He pulled away without another word and left her flustered and turned on in the store room.

Jealousy really was a beast.

She turned and grabbed what she had needed, or what she thought she needed, she didn't really remember at that moment, and ran a hand through her hair before returning to behind the bar.

She was stunned, didn't speak a word for a moment.

She heard the music stop abruptly, the jukebox unplugged.

"One last time? For old times' sake?" She heard him ask cheerily to his classmates. There was a cheer. He sounded so calm, so normal and cheery- like he hadn't just done what he had.

Quickly she heard the opening lines of the song she knew so well now.

She quickly left the bar behind her, and was wading through the crowd.

He wasn't getting away with it.

He wanted her to be his? Well he could certainly have that. He wanted other people not to hit on her- well then they better know about it.

She slowly got through the crowd, and just at the right moment- just as he finished the piano bit and reached the penultimate verse.

'Kiss me baby!' He sang, and turned his head for a second to the crowd who surrounded him. He saw her and smiled.

He leant down and kissed him, cupping his cheek in her hand. One of his hands left the piano and sat breifly on her waist, before pulling her in and onto his lap and returning to the keys.

'ooh- that feels good baby!' She sang with the crowd as she pulled away from the kiss. Impressively he'd not stopped playing, but was sat with a smirk on his face and just couldn't sing.

'Hold me baby!' She put her arms around his neck and grinned, looking at him as he looked right back up at her. 'I wanna love you like a lover should! You're so fine! So kind! I wanna tell the world that you're mine, mine, mine!" She laughed and sang, throwing her head back as the crowd cheered.

They sang the last verse together, and finally at the end- as a cheer went up, she pulled him in for one, proper, soft kiss. A real lover's kiss.

------------------

Tag List: (Comment/ask on masterlist to be added)

@gh0strr @sarahstar11 @sparrows-corner @piscesvancouverite @n3ssm0nique @sydneejean @20th-centu-fairy-girl @chaoticassidy @yjwnoot @hockeyboysarehot @inglourious-imagines

#fic #bradley bradshaw x reader #nick bradshaw #nick goose bradshaw #goose #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooser #rooser x reader #robert floyd #robert bob floyd #bob #rooster #top gun maverick #topgun #top gun #top gun fic #jake hangman seresin #hangman #jake seresin #pete maverick mitchell #maverick #pete mitchell

[autism-criminal]

i never made an intro post 😨

so uh yeah here we go wheeeeeee

my name is deary and maybe x , I am very cool . My pronouns are it/he and sometimes it/they .3 I’m aroace , and I think I’m biromantic or just gay !

I am professionally diagnosed with AuADHD , anxiety , and depression . I’m also robotkin !

If you’d like me to tag or tw something , please tell me , whether that be through dms or an ask ! I value your safety and comfort !

I like drawing ! ask me to draw your OC and I will do so in the span of 2 hours-2 days .

Seven means a lot . Idk how much , but imagine seven is the biggest number in the world ! I call characters dilfs and like terms as a joke ( refer to paragraph #1 )

I am like . fuckinf obsessed with FNaF, but I do not support Scott Cawthon’s anti-LGBTQ2IA+ views .

my top interests in no particular order

FNaF

Jurassic Park

Psych

The Hunger Games

The Gray Man

Ocean’s 11 (2001)

I love being tagged in things . Pls don’t hesitate to tag me in things

I LOVE NICKNAMES AIODCUOAKDOX

I speak some Spanish , and in a few years I’m even planning on studying abroad .D

oc lore so far

Silva, Shroom Guy, Notata and Apparatus Phobos 2 ( I probably have more lore for him but I can’t find it )

Im cool, but you know who’s even cooler ?

@jadegrimm @songboylyric @whymustibefunny @fagtron2000 @finleyforevermore @treasure-goblin @noodleedoodleeoodle @ccritterbugg @bloodcoveredbutch @robotwithanr @therealjackdsaf @t0esniffer69 @mochablogger @mewo-cressei @kirvee @inkythew0lf @f1nch3z @just-hyper-active @11somecat11 @j-snapdragon @julietheidiot @cultedpersonality @starfish-spencer @clawdiia @starrystims @shawnaise @iceeericeee @beepboopchibbo @angel-devil-star @idonoiyo @thathingwiththepotatoes @tipsylemonwater @enchanting-grom-fright @breadonthestreet @living-my-ghibli-dream @beewasdeleted @bossbabyfan2

my platonic valentine !! even in march @idonoiyo <3333333

also, MY DADS !!! @wheredidmybooksgo @the-grave-doctor !!!!! The best dads ever !!!!

and my grandmama !! @the-squishy-scrimblo !!!

check them out .D

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

The Join Us For A Bite project :

Intro/Intrumental

my tags are as follows :

#rewatching garbity farls - when i rewatch gravity falls

#PHOBOS LORE - lore or just art for the siller

#best dad ever - for when I’m talking with the best dad ever

#best grandmama ever - for when I’m talking with the best grandmama ever

#lassieposting - for when I post about Carlton Lassiter or find a post that I think is related to Carlton Lassiter

#words ain’t wordin - a tag I pre-made for when I go semi- or non-verbal

#avatarposting - posts about atla ( the new show or the animated one )

DNI :

racists / homophobes / transphobes etc

pedos

nsfw blogs

Please don’t send donation asks , I’ll just assume it’s a scam

that’s it B]

#tw swearing #tw caps #intro post wow

[runningfrom2am]

somewhere not to be

summary: while making a desperate attempt at an escape from cps, you meet a new friend in the elevator.

pairing: john b routledge x fem!reader

wc: 1.1k

tags/warnings: a little bit of swearing? fluff, meet cute vibes. honestly that's about it. mention of big john? idk lol

a/n: this is for day two of obx week!! day two: first time meeting john b! i thought this was just so cute and so on brand for him- I've never written for him before so idk how i feel but tell me your thoughts!! this was a fun one to write :)

i hope you enjoy!! see you tomorrow for my first ever sarah fic! (this is a week of firsts for me omg)

masterlists // nav

requests

join my taglist here

you rush down the hall, throwing papers and books off of shelves in your wake in attempt to stave off the officers long enough for you to make an escape. your eyes land on the elevator doors closing ahead of you, and you pick up your pace, clinging onto your backpack as you throw yourself between the doors just in time for them to close behind you. you slam into the back wall of the elevator, breathing heavily and leaning your palms on your knees, catching your breath.

you see then, in the mirror standing next to the panel of buttons, there's a boy standing there. he's about your age, with an outgrown mop of brown hair and eyebrows raised in his shock. "hey." you breath out, raising a hand at him quickly.

"uh, hey." he replies, returning the awkward wave. "are you alright?" he asks hesitantly, and you feel a jerk as the elevator starts to move. thankfully, he's going down.

"fine, thanks." you nod in acknowledgment, standing up again and shaking out your arms and stretching your neck as you prepare to run again.

the opportunity doesn't come yet, though, considering the awful creaking sound the old elevator makes as it jolts to a stop, lights flickering above you. you look up, then over to the panel again as a red button begins to flash. "woah..." the boy mutters, steadying himself on the railing as the elevator shakes.

"fuck." you mumble to yourself. now there's no way you'll beat the cops to the bottom floor. they'll be waiting as soon as the doors open, once the elevator resumes it's journey and reaches the lobby of the cps building.

"you.. uh, you got somewhere to be?" he chuckles and you nod.

"more like somewhere not to be." you chuckle, taking a deep breath.

"ah, gotcha." he nods. "we may be waiting a minute." he sighs, sitting down on the floor.

"just my luck." you scoff, shaking your head and sitting down next to him.

"if we're gonna be stuck in here... i'm john b." he says a soft smile on his face as he looks over at you.

"y/n." you reply, matching his smile with a somewhat awkward one of your own.

john b nods, leaning his head back against the wall of the elevator. "what brings you to the cps building, john b?" you ask after a moment.

"long story, i guess, but my dad went missing last year, and it was always just me and him. apparently someone called them and said i'm living on my own now, so for some reason they want to get me into foster when i'm clearly fine taking care of myself." he shrugs, picking at the fringe on his shoelaces.

"that sucks. i'm sorry." you reply, not sure what else to say.

"it is what it is." he mumbles. "i've got my friends, jj lives with me most of the time. and legally my uncle is my guardian now so i get to go home today because they can't prove he's not there. it could be worse."

"that it could." you agree with a soft smile.

"uh, if i can ask," he says after a moment. "what are you running from? i mean, i could probably guess since there were cops after you, but like, why?"

"uh.." you chuckle a bit, shifting uncomfortably on the floor. "so i ran away from my foster home in new york and they don't like that."

"new york? that's a long way to hitchhike. how'd you end up on the island anyway?" john b laughs.

"oh, you know, high jacked the ferry." you joke, eyes meeting his with a slight laugh. "i'm trying to get to florida. i think my parents are there."

"jeez, well, good luck." john b says, and you smile at him.

"thank you."

before either of you can get in another word, the doors are slightly cracking open by use of external force. "you kids okay in there?" a maintenance man asks, able to see in now just a little as you both quickly stand up.

"yeah, we're good." john b answers for you.

"okay, just stay calm, we'll be able to get you out in a couple minutes. you're gonna be fine." he says, and you see the two officers standing behind him as the doors slide shut once more.

"fuck." you groan, running a hand through your hair. "they're gonna send me back to new york. i just know it."

"no, no it'll be okay." john b says, holding his hands up towards you in an attempt to keep you calm. he looks around frantically, then his eyes land on the hatch on the ceiling.

"we're just below the second floor, i think you could climb up and pull the doors open." he says and you eye the small hatch as well. you nod and quickly climb up onto the railing, not giving it another thought. your new friend is quick to steady you, and you climb onto his shoulders to force the door open, quickly pulling yourself up and onto the top of the elevator.

"y/n!" he calls after you as you dust yourself off, and you poke your head back over the edge. "i'm parked on the street on the east side of the building. it's a beat up, brown volks van, if you need a ride."

"thank you, john b. i appreciate it. a lot." you nod with a smile, just as the doors start to creak open again. you quickly shut the hatch and start to pull on the closed door that's about shoulder height. to your delight, it slides open pretty easily and you jump up, running for the window ahead.

you hear a couple voices behind you, mostly confusion so you know they're not a threat just yet- until they call security. you guess you have about eight seconds as you clammed out onto the ledge of the second floor. you shuffle quickly along the side of the building, scanning the street for any car that looks like it could be john b's.

then, there it is. you look around for a way to get down, and when you don't see any that won't result in a broken ankle, you decide to jump for the top of the van- it looks close enough that you won't dent it. at least not much.

you jump just as john b rounds the corner, running, and you can hear footsteps following him. "where'd she go, john b?" a familiar voice shouts as you're sliding down the side of the van and jumping in the passenger side.

john b pretty much dives into the drivers seat, frantically starting the car as a wide smile grows on his face. you duck down as the officers round the same corner and john b takes off, music from the radio blaring in your ears.

you sit up once you're out of view of the building, smiling and taking a few breaths of relief, finally. hopefully your freedom won't be short lived.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy, @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey@slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @ragingsammie, @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @ietss

#obxweek23 #obx fanfic #john b routledge #john b x reader #john b imagine #john b outer banks #john b obx #obx fic #obx fanfiction

[simp999]

A New Home Ch. 34

Various! Splatoon Manga x Skilled! Isekai'd! Reader

Wc: 1k

A/N: sorry chat ww uh go read some past chapters for comfort idk

Warnings: Agressive language (swearing), abusive past significant other.

A/N 2: you can avoid reading this part if you think it'll make you uncomfortable,- it's just backstory and doesn't pertain to the story too much.

Back to the start! Previous Next

With a heavy heart, you arrived home and helped Milo make supper for the family. The night went by slowly with Milo's sister on your mind, but recognizing that he didn't seem as heavily affected by it anymore did help soothe you.

That night, you all fell asleep watching a movie; you in Milo's arms while he petted your tentacles. It was difficult not to fall asleep with how gentle he was- he must've had lots of experience.

The following day, Tasha was cleaning her weapon when you noticed a furrow in her brow. She then quietly said that she would be going to stop by Sheldon's today. Ah, she must have noticed a scratch or something. Either way, you figured it would be a good opportunity to spend time with her, so you asked if you could tag along. With a soft nod, she told you when she'd be leaving. Sooner rather than later- she'd rather fix her weapon as quickly as possible. You figured you'd get your weapon checked too while you were there. Seemed convenient.

It didn't take long before the two of you left the house, Tasha making sure not to scratch her weapon further. She held it close on the subway.

Maybe today you'd get to find out why she took such good care of the thing- if a reason at all. You're sure there had to be one, though.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You gave your weapon to Sheldon when you arrived, and he seemed shocked.

"The ink isn't fully going through! How have you been battling like this?"

... you've been at a disadvantage this whole time? He compared it to missing multiple Ink Saver abilities- it was really confusing.

Finally, Tasha carefully handed Sheldon her E-liter, pointing out the scratch he had to buff out. With a pleasant smile on his face while he analyzed the weapon, he said;

"Pristine as ever, Natasha! I admire your dedication to your weapon! If only others were as diligent as you..."

You noticed how Sheldon was looking at you when he said that, and you looked away out of embarrassment. Well, hey- you're sure Leo was much worse; you once caught him using nail polish to repaint a scratch on his dualies after dropping them.

"...Told you not to call me that." She quietly replied.

The two of you left Ammo Knights shortly, making your way to the lobby. It was a hot day, that blazer of Tasha's was probably way too warm. She was about to take it off when you caught her freeze in place.

She appeared terrified. You followed her gaze- and it was at some octoling boy. His tentacles stood out- a sort of mohawk fashion going backwards. He toyed with his Nautilus 47. He wore a wicked smile on his face. His eyes were closed and his sharp teeth showed. He sat next to what you assumed was his twin; a matching forward mohawk and a big frown. An octobrush sat next to him. The first one- the smiley one had pink tentacles, the second, frowny, had blue. The first laughed like a hyena as some girl he sat with told a joke, his arm around her with a seemingly painfully tight grip.

..he seemed like he was holding her hostage. Damn.

You looked back at Tasha and she seemed to cower even further as she stared at him. She held her weapon with shaky hands- wait, Tasha? With shaky hands? What the hell happened between these two?

The two of you had to walk by them to get to the Subway. You slowly tried to reach for her back, gently rubbing circles as you guided her, placing yourself between her and the twins.

But you were still noticed. You suppose she does stand out a bit with her height.

The pink-tentacled one stood up.

"Hey there sweetheart! S' been a while, love. How ya been?"

He got much too close, breath mixing with hers. She held her weapon even closer. She kept her head down. His hand left her shoulder when she flinched and she quickly tried to walk off, and you heard him mumble under his breath; "Tch. Bitch. Got what you deserved anyways."

Her hand shook as she held it in front of her mask on the subway. She was still frozen and you could see her tearing up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You trailed behind her as she rushed to her room. Despite what you may assume, she continued to hold your hand. She needed company. She didn't want to be left alone.

She took her mask off as she shook. She was so vulnerable.

That's right. Her scars.

Wait... is that how she got those?

What the hell did that asshole do?!

Sobs wracked her body as you held her free hand, her other thumb rubbing her weapon, soothing her.

Once you offered her a soft hug, and you got her to breathe properly again, she began to explain. You wiped her tears as she went on.

"My weapon malfunctioned once and only once. The night I ran away from him.

...the night he gave me these scars.

I couldn't defend myself."

You looked at her with sympathy, and rubbed your thumb over the palm of her hand to soothe her. You stood up once again and held her head close to your chest, resting your chin on her head as you pet her tentacles.

Milo heard from Leo that the twins were in the square. Trav n' Marx. Milo put two and two together and raced down to Tasha's room to try to comfort her. He wrapped her in a blanket and quickly let his motherly instincts take over.

According to all you've gathered, she had an abusive boyfriend.

Tasha of all people.

Goes to show it can happen to anyone.

Poor girl...

.

.

.

Mar.26,24

Next Part

#fanfic #x reader #splatoon manga #splatoon #splatoon manga x reader #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #coroika

[decepti-thots]

for so long I have felt like a weirdo for thinking that the jro pregnancy stuff is deeply unhorny. but I am going to say it now: it's only horny in the way that the alien franchise is horny: there are definitely people who are horny about it, but it's primarily about the non-sexy aspects of pregnancy. i get that it's a funny joke but a non-insignificant people genuinely act like it's "the writer's barely disguised fetish". birth is weird and scary and fascinating, even more so in robots. im probably more defensive about this than I should be but it's kind of upsetting to me that this is where the discussion always ends

I'll put this under a cut so as not to spam anyone's dash bc yeah I went off on this ask haha (positive).

I actually felt so insane about this very topic I ran a damn poll on my NSFW sideblog and the thing is: the majority of folks voting agreed no, it's not inherently, textually horny. (I would know; I know horny when I see it, ffs!) Which vindicated me! Because I agree it's so ridiculous a thing to unironically, sincerely insist is super horny, given the text, lmao.

Like, it's extremely obsessed with pregnancy, but this is not the same as 'a fetish', and tbqh I think the 'fetish' joke just shields any actually interesting discussion of what it's doing. I think the Alien comparison here is actually really telling; it's absolutely a visceral thing, a thing concerned with the body and how it functions, sometimes against our will. And it's not unconnected to sexuality or eroticism in how those things are discussed more broadly, in the sense it's talking about a thing that intersects with those elements in the abstract, but it's not. Like. It's not a "fetish" thing, and if the characters it involved weren't referred to as 'he' in text I think less people would be calling it that, and actually it kinda sucks that every time I bring it up I have to block people who see 'pregnancy mentioned' on my completely sfw posts as an excuse to go off on their personal fetishes in detail, or their desire to speculate on the imagined fetishes of the writer in equally graphic detail. (BTW, it's genuinely uncomfortable seeing people obsessively speculate on the imagined fetishes of a creator, I think. We should all do that a little less in public.)

I mean not to be a total killjoy or anything but like... treating pregnancy in itself, even in the most abstract way, as inherently fetishistic and inappropriate (the people reblogging my innocuous posts about pregnancy metaphors with fucking trigger warnings! 'mpreg trigger warning' being a normalized way to tag pictures that are just Trans Dude Who Is Pregnant!) is uh. I mean we live in a world where pregnant people are often massively marginalized by society period, and seen as somehow inappropriate for public life, and especially anyone who is remotely GNC. Like the idea that something is inherently obscene about a pregnant person is, shall we say, not apolitical. It is in fact a thing that people actually have to fight against in real life. I mean. Fandom doing this to a text that in fact is most notable for treating pregnancy weirdly neutrally in these terms is... frustrating! I think we all lose out when we refuse to engage with weird, funny texts that have things to say about these topics that fall outside our expected frameworks, like, say, 'this is A Fetish TM'. That's limiting! If we want to talk about what IDW1 phase two does with gender, we cannot do that properly if every time we talk about MTMTE we get weird about it doing sexless genderfree pregnancy metaphors, and instead make them funny mpreg jokes, tbh! IDK! Seems counter intuitive! And I genuinely think MTMTE/LL's bizarre approach to the thing is so interesting precisely because it's so odd and offputting. What if we actually examined it. I think we can find some good stuff in there, frankly.

And truly the especially frustrating thing is that the comic itself, for all it is objectively weird and hilarious and 'why the fuck is this even HERE' about it... is just never that. Like. I posted those excerpts because it IS weird and it IS wild and it IS quite funny in its way! It's alien robot body horror in a kids' cartoon franchise turned to an unexpected end! But you know what it actually manages, somehow, to never be? One: weird and misogynist about pregnancy. Two: weird and transphobic about it involving vaguely, ostensibly 'male' characters. Make all the mpreg jokes you want I guess, but MTMTE is many bizarre things but it never gives one single shit about the gender binary, and tbh I think it's genuinely kind of embarrassing the fandom saw a comic that did insane robot body horror pregnancy shit and was like. Okay well. But the mpreg tho.

Like. I've joked for years that I want to do a transmasc read of the pregnancy stuff Roberts did in TF seriously, same as I think a transmasc read of how Alien presents fears around "male pregnancy" in a trans context would be great. And for all my jokes, I genuinely would, actually. I think it's legit very interesting how Roberts manages to divorce the presentation of horror of pregnancy from gender in a way that mitigates the gendered subtext somewhat and gets at the loss of autonomy in a broader sense.

anyway it truly sucks that fandom is so fucking shitty about this. to give a little extra context, i talk about a particular transmasc humanformer AU sometimes that involves pregnancy and. i have had to Delete Some Fucking Asks about that thing, which. well that happens in normal regular real life and people talk about it like a fanfic trope (derogatory). so. i am a little sensitive to people getting Like This about the topic, aha.

sorry i went off on one anon, can you tell. i also find this frustrating. i relate. i am totally with you. god it would be so much less interesting to read it as horny so like, why is this the ONLY MODE we seem to have tbh

[everything-redacted-and-others]

Starstruck<33

Charlie is famous and Casper is his bodyguard pt.2

Slow burn, sorry I just have too do it (cause I’m a menace) if you wanna get tagged in the next parts ask😊

thanks for the help @no-see-um-incorrect I hope I got your prompt right

TAGS: @idk-ig-7 @antipasto-the-theif @neighborhoodcrybaby

@sleepyqueerenergy @ashertalbotshusband

———————————————————————

It was later in the day and Charlie didn’t have any appointments or interviews to do today he had a completely free schedule so he asked Casper too do stuff with him

Casper was sitting on one of the dinning room chairs watching Charlie while he was looking at the tv

———— Casper’s inner monologue—————

Damn

he’s kinda cute

wait no! You can’t fall for your clients Cas it’s literally the number one rule……

but he’s so.. NO stop-

———————-back too talking———————

“Are you alright Casper?”

Casper flinched not noticing that Charlie had moved in front of them

“Huh.. oh yeah I’m alright just.. thinking”

“Well I was thinking.. since my schedule is completely clear for today that we could maybe play some video games”

“uhh *casper thinkings for a second* sure we can play some video games what are you thinking?”

“Well I have some Mario kart.. do you wanna play that?”

*Casper starts to smile widely* “yeah that would be great”

“why are you smiling so much? You have some devious plan don’t you”

“oh it nothing just that I’m gonna kick your ass I’m a Mario Kart champion back home”

“oh really now.. well “back home” doesn’t have me”

“mhm whatever you say freckles”

Casper walked over too the couch and sat down waiting for Charlie and he just kinda stood there with a blush so red you could mistake him for a fire hydrant

“aren’t you gonna come and show me who’s boss freckles?”

“uh uh y-yeah coming”

they sat and played for a while until Casper got too thinking

——————-Casper’s inner monologue———

Wow he’s cute when he’s focused like that and his eyes there so.. pretty

Wait shit focus dumbass your gonna loses

but him- ah shit he passes me.. on the last lap to

———————-talking again —————————

“Ha I won”

“that’s a first”

“hey come on I’m not that bad”

“Charlie you won twice out off like eleven rounds you suck at this”

“I do not.. hey where did the nickname go?”

*Casper got a malicious grin in their face* “oh do you like it when I call you… freckles?”

“I-I uh huh uhh”

“Oh come on freckles I was just joking now shouldn’t you get some food by now we’ve been playing for a while”

“Uh.. right food what do you want?”

“Me oh I don’t know.. you pick, as long as it’s food in not too picky”

“alright well how about I get Pete to get us some food from that sandwich shop downtown”

“who is Pete?”

“oh right you don’t know Pete, he’s my driver and personal delivery person”

“oh alright, well sandwiches sound good too me so go ahead and call him”

“Ok you got it Cas”

———————————————————————

<33

#yuurivoice casper #yuurivoice charlie