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givemeanaccountalready · 5 months

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A Who-Swung-It Mystery: The Case of the Switch-Hitter (1/3)

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Despite the humorous title, I want to be serious for a second. I am not a licensed psychologist/psychiatrist/licensed social worker/etc., and I am certainly not an expert on dissociative identity disorder (DID). My knowledge of this disorder comes from the research I have done to try and understand it. I am trying to be as respectful as possible towards the subject matter, and I sincerely apologize if I show a lack of understanding and will do my best to correct it. I want to focus on switching, since we don't really have much information on Mikoto's childhood that led to him developing this disorder and I do not want to speculate. I only say childhood and not adulthood because the literature I found suggests that it is rather rare for this already rare disorder to form past the age of ten. Mikoto could be one of those special cases, but we'll have to wait and see.

Now, before you begin violently shaking me over the length of this post, just know that I am sorry about it. I want to argue that Mikoto’s DID is a red herring. Despite his claims otherwise, John did not directly kill anyone, Mikoto did. Through the voice dramas and the music videos, we get to see both Mikoto and John's individual perspectives and personalities. From what we've seen in MeMe and Double and then heard during John Doe and Neoplasm, I think I figured out what happened the night of the murder.

Fun fact before the post cut: in Japanese, the kanji for baseball are combine the kanji for field and ball (野球) and is read as ‘Kakyu’. The number nine in Japanese is read as ‘kyu’ or ‘ku’ and our baseball-loving prisoner, Mikoto, is prisoner number nine.

Okay, now you can begin violently shaking me.

Milgram's Very Own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Subverting the Evil Alter Trope

Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a tale that lives in infamy, and here in the West, it is synonymous with dual personalities. Published in 1886, the story is meant to be an allegory regarding good and evil. Pop culture osmosis usually has it right that Dr. Jekyll accidentally created Mr. Hyde in a lab accident, but here's the thing, it's more of a happy accident than a “Well, the risk I took was calculated but man, I’m bad at math,” one. Dr. Jekyll is a respectable, older gentleman who meant to erase his "shameful urges" (the story never explains what they are exactly, just that they go against the Victorian moral code) and accidentally created Mr. Hyde. As Mr. Hyde, Jekyll is a younger, shorter man whose only identifying feature is that everyone immediately hates him. That is not a joke. People who ran into Hyde can’t really describe him other than having the gut instinct to avoid him. But more importantly, I need you to know that Dr. Jekyll had spent most of the story voluntarily transforming himself into Mr. Hyde so he could give into those shameful urges and then used his wealth as Dr. Jekyll to sweep any trouble that arose back under the rug.

Besides being physically different, the main difference between Jekyll and Hyde is that Hyde lacks Jekyll's morals and inhibitions. Jekyll delights in the freedom he can experience as Hyde, until as Hyde, he beats a man to death with a cane. A few months before the murder, Jekyll had started to realize that he did not have as much control over Hyde as he previously thought and went two months without drinking the transformation tonic. As Jekyll puts it, in a moment of weakness, (yes, it reads like an allegory about substance abuse) Jekyll takes the tonic, transforms into Hyde, and since Hyde is pissed over being locked up for so long, he exercised his frustrations on a rich man's head.

Historically, the nineteenth century is when psychologists started arguing over the existence of multiple personalities, and the public back then was as fascinated with it as it is now. And I can't believe that we're nearing The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's 150th anniversary, and the evil alternate personality trope is still going strong! I swear to you, it seems like DID is only ever brought up in conjunction with stories involving a murder(s), and the resolution is always, the evil alter committed it. I only know one example (Primal Fear (1996)) where the evil alter didn't do it, but that was because of the twist ending!

Besides wanting the novelty of the core having killed someone rather than the 'evil' alter, I think it would fit in with Milgram's dedication to emphasizing that each prisoner is an individual with their good points and bad. No one is 100% good, or bad, or anything else (Jackalope is 100% chaotic neutral, but he is a mythical creature, not a human, so shh). They have dominant traits that may influence their actions, but as in reality, things aren't black and white. It would make sense for Mikoto and John to reflect this. Mikoto is not 100% good and John is not 100% evil. They both have good and bad traits.

I think that the first trial shows it much better than the second, but Mikoto's main problem is how he constantly denies that anything is troubling him. Es calls him out on it explicitly during Neoplasm. Mikoto’s response is, “Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end,” explaining that the pretending helps him cope. It may not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but it is what he does. The most recent example of this not actually helping anyone is during Mikoto’s 2023 birthday timeline conversation. Mikoto questions himself to see if John really does exist and then he angrily blames John, only for John to front long enough to yell that he did it to save them. John disappears and Mikoto tells himself that that was useless, and that he’s tired and should stop thinking so hard about it. John has repeated quite a few times during Neoplasm and in that timeline conversation that he did it because Mikoto couldn’t handle it. The implication is that it is referring to the stress that built up and led to the murder. I agree with John that Mikoto’s decision to continue putting his head in the sand and to bottle up all his stress would have led to a breakdown. Everyone has a limit, and it is clear that Mikoto was rapidly approaching his. I don't disagree with that at all. What I disagree with is John's claim that he is solely responsible for the murder, because his existence does not make him purely evil and Mikoto's purely good. To think so is to play right into the black-and-white dichotomy of morality and play directly into Yamanaka's hands.

Despite his more sadistic tendencies, John does have some positive traits. We know he cares deeply for Mikoto and wants to protect him, even if his actions aren't acceptable. In Neoplasm, we’ve even heard John express some pride over being a college graduate, something Mikoto has previously downplayed when asked questions by Amane. We’ve seen in timeline conversations that Mikoto is capable of expressing annoyance and exasperation (with Fuuta) as well as anger (at John in the above timeline conversation). John can be cruel and aggressive, but he is active in asserting himself. Meanwhile, Mikoto is considerate to others to the point of his own detriment and is rather passive when it comes to conflict. Just because Mikoto seems to have more desirable character traits than John doesn’t make Mikoto incapable of committing a violent act.

Now, onto the murder, what could lead to Mikoto killing somebody?

"Communism was just a red herring." - Clue (1985)

I firmly believe that John is full of shit. Despite the number of destroyed mannequins, there is only one murder victim: the blond fellow we see at the beginning of MeMe. And just like in the cult classic, Clue (1985), I think the motive was blackmail.

Remember Mikoto's glitched line from the second voice trailer? "DESTROY EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!" I don't know if this is just an accepted fan theory or if it had been confirmed, but it is believed that the lines from the second voice trailer happen before the murder takes place. If it had taken place after the murder occurred, then everything would most likely reference the evidence of the murder. But this takes place before the murder happened. Sure, it could be John's need for one of those rage rooms, but if I'm being honest, I think it was blackmail that could have gotten Mikoto fired from his job. Despite the amount of stress his current job causes him, Mikoto has stated over and over again that he worked very hard to get into the best company in the advertising business, and in his Trial Two interrogation questions, he has stated that he will not leave his current job because he believes that his efforts will eventually be rewarded. Mikoto is fine with being uncomfortable if he believes it will lead to future benefit (AKA, no pain, no gain).

From what I understand about Japan's work culture, getting fired puts a black stain on your record and makes it extremely difficult to find a new job. Getting fired by a top-tier advertising agency isn't just losing his dream job, but possibly destroying any chance of Mikoto gaining any opportunity or prestige for the rest of his career. All his hard work will be for naught. There are plenty of real-world instances where someone lost their job or lost their college acceptance because of poor behavior on the individual's part. If the blond victim had evidence of Mikoto acting badly, regardless of whether it was Mikoto or John fronting, Mikoto's boss could fire him, ruining his chances of ever being rewarded for his hard work. People have certainly killed for less in the real world.

Personally, I lean towards the blackmail being something John did, although this comes from Mikoto's line from Undercover: "Don't lie about me / what did I do?" If Mikoto cannot remember anything from when John fronts and he is aware of his forgetful spells, then not only would Mikoto question whether the blackmail had been doctored but also he'd wonder if there is a hint of truth to it. Remember Mikoto's words to Fuuta, "You're a uni student, right? You can't act like that once you start working properly," as if the angry behavior from Fuuta is only normal until a certain age. Perhaps Mikoto took part in some bad behavior in the past. More likely than not, it’s John in the blackmail. T1Q11 answer states, "Yes, I am [someone who takes others into consideration]. I'm a working adult. Communicating makes work easier." It's almost ironic how his boss constantly texting him and inconsideration causes Mikoto problems, and because he is the new guy and subordinate, Mikoto can't exactly tell his boss to fuck off.

His T1Q10 answer better lays out his beef with Fuuta's behavior: "I don't think I've ever gotten angry before. Isn't it kind of disgraceful to get angry?" Now, Mikoto is a very go-along-to-get-along kind of guy and Fuuta is not. He could be telling the truth that he has never gone into a blind rage (that Mikoto remembers), but to say he has never felt anger is most likely a lie.

Here is how I think the murder went down. At the beginning of MeMe, we see Mikoto waiting in a dark, secluded area near the train tracks. His hair is mostly covered by the beanie and we cannot make out his expression whatsoever, so there is no clue to tell us who is fronting between Mikoto and John. Mikoto does not appear to have a bat on his person or around him, and it seems like he is holding his phone. The blond victim could have just been a stranger walking by, but I think that he was an old friend of Mikoto's from high school or college and was supposed to meet with him. As peers who are supposed to be working adults, Mikoto is under the impression that whatever this is, they can just talk it out. This is all just one big misunderstanding.

Maybe the blond victim even brought the bat for an intimidation factor. Maybe Mikoto brought it just in case. I lean towards the former because you would notice misplacing your own baseball bat (they can get really expensive) is hard to not notice, and the whole thing is easier to deny if you don't even own the murder weapon in the first place. Whatever the case, the blond reveals his blackmail and demands payment or else it's getting sent to Mikoto's boss. Mikoto sees nothing but red, screams at his old friend to destroy all of the blackmail, take the bat, and then swings. The first blow hits the victim's lower back, just like how it hit Es in Undercover, and it is enough to render the victim's legs useless, forcing him to try and crawl away rather than run. Mikoto raises the bat well over his head and brings it down again, killing the victim.

With no one around but his now deceased victim, the red haze lifts and Mikoto realizes what he just did, prompting the first trial glitched line, which is believed to take place after the murder, "My life... it wasn't supposed to be this way." The heartbreak is too much to bear. John takes over and is the one to bury the body, dispose of the evidence, and clean Mikoto up. When Mikoto wakes up the next day, he can disregard it as a bad dream: "All I did was dream / And that's what you found GUILTY?"

Pretty words, but empty ones, I know. Where's my proof? I'm glad you asked. :)

Switch-Hitting

Let's start out with the murder weapon: the baseball bat.

In baseball, a switch-hitter is someone who can bat left- and right-handed. Switch-hitters are prized by coaches, because batters have a higher chance of hitting the ball when they swing opposite of the pitcher; meaning a left-handed batter has a better chance of hitting a ball thrown by a right-handed pitcher than the right-handed batter against that same pitcher. There can be switch-pitchers (someone who can throw left- and right-handed), but because Mikoto's murder weapon seems to be the baseball bat, I'm going to focus on the way he swings the bat. As previously stated, during the third chorus of Undercover, we see Mikoto's silhouette bludgeon Es with a baseball bat.

Now, it has been a while since I've played baseball and softball, but I do still own a bat and I believe that that is a left-handed swing. A left-handed batter would have their left hand positioned above the right hand and the bat would have been held over their left shoulder. When they swing, they step in and turn towards their right to complete the swing. That is what Mikoto is doing in this picture. I tried to mimic the swing, but I am a right handed batter, so it feels awkward when I do it. Right-handed batters are more common that left-handed hitters, and in Double, we see Mikoto/John bat both ways, making him a switch-hitter. In the US, a switch-hitter has to pick one side to hit from during the time he is at bat, meaning that say he batted right, then swung and missed twice (two strikes, one more and he's out), he can’t switch to bat left. He can switch to bat left the next time he is up at bat, but he cannot switch positions once he steps up to the plate. I can’t find much on Japan’s rules about switch-hitting, but there’s a ton of articles about a high school player who kept switching positions for every pitch during the same at bat (pissing off the Americans in the comments section). Now, I can’t speak for professional baseball in Japan, but I guess switching positions during the same at bat is allowed at the level Mikoto played (high school). I do feel confident in stating that the Mikoto featured in Undercover has a left-handed swing. But Gimme, what does that have to do with switch-hitting? Switch-hitting involves batting both ways.

If you continue to closely watch the opening of MeMe, while Mikoto holds the bat in his left hand, but when he readies himself for the overhead swing, Mikoto has his right hand over his left, something a right-handed batter would do. I actually made a list of when we see Mikoto swing the bat, and it seems that when Mikoto swings the bat normally (like how he would in a game), he usually bats left-handed. I could only find one instance of Mikoto holding the bat right-handed as though he were up to bat.

Left-Handed Batting:

at 3:04 in Undercover

at 0:30 in MeMe

at 0:58 in Double

at 1:29 in Double

Right-Handed Batting:

at 1:26 in Double

Buuuut, when we see Mikoto swing the bat abnormally, he uses his right hand to guide the swing as if he were batting right-handed. His right hand is above his left (which is normal positioning for a right-handed swing) when he does the overhead swing in MeMe at 0:37, and when he swings the bat one handed during Double, it is with his right-hand.

Your dominant hand isn't what determines your batting stance. Generally, it's a good indicator, but it's not set in stone thanks to cross-handedness. Cross-handedness is when you use your dominant hand for certain activities and your non-dominant hand for others. But if it matters, Mikoto is right-handed. Most of his actions in both songs involve his right-hand. If you watch MeMe, the only time Mikoto uses his left hand is to move the camera at the beginning and end of the song, and then to pick up the Death tarot card at the very end of the song. In Double, the only time he uses his left hand is when he swings the bat. Also, his shoulder bag is on his left shoulder in both MeMe and Double, and generally, purses and shoulder bags rests on your non-dominant side to give your dominant hand easy access.

Like I said, Mikoto being right-handed doesn't necessarily translate to him batting right-handed. Now, I'm no baseball expert, but I don't think his left-handed swings are all that good. They look 'jerky' to me. We don't see Mikoto complete a right-handed swing; we only see him hold the bat as if he is waiting for a pitch and the positioning seems natural. And there is something that I want to point out. You can train yourself to become a switch-hitter. I am not kidding when I say that switch-hitters are coveted. I think it would be in-character of Mikoto to naturally bat right-handed but try to teach himself how to bat left-handed so that he can become a switch-hitter. He is someone who knows what they want and creates a ten-step plan to get it, (see his "I wanted this job so I chose this art college with this degree"). He also believes in hard work being rewarded, so if he successfully trains himself to become a switch-hitter, his coach will reward him with more playing time (in this case, move him up the batting list). Mikoto is also self-effacing, so when he puts himself down, it needs to be questioned. Are his claims about not being good at baseball an example of his low self-esteem affects his perception of himself, or was he just plain bad because he was batting from the wrong side? He could just plain suck at baseball, but his abnormal, right-handed swings are smooth and controlled. It makes me think he bats right naturally, and that his left-handed swings are him practicing to get better at switch-hitting.

Unlike Mikoto, John is not patient. He would not bother with a swing he is not comfortable with. We saw that in John Doe as they are quick to taunt Es and lash out at them and Kotoko. John did not try to retreat and figure out a strategy to best Kotoko, an experienced fighter, he just went for it. I can only assume he wised up during his fight with Kotoko and that's why she couldn't knock him out a second time. This impulsive, fiery temper reappears in Neoplasm, when John mock Es for chaining Mikoto and for the name they gave him, and then as Es stalls during John's prodding of what will happen to Mikoto, John begins shouting at Es to answer him. I would probably split the two this way: while Mikoto is proactive with his willingness to think ahead and shortchange himself for the chance of being rewarded in the future, John is reactive and his impulsiveness leads to short-term thinking that can screw over Mikoto.

Here's Mikoto in Neoplasm: "I wonder if it's like... some kind of sleepwalking...? After all, I've been losing sleep more and more often recently... Man... It's really troublesome, isn't it?...Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I'm pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities." At this point, he can no longer deny that nothing is wrong, and Mikoto is now forced to seriously consider just what is going on when he has these forgetful spells and falls asleep. Something is wrong, and he is trying to follow his usual protocol of smiling and quietly figuring out how to make things turn out for the best. Except it is not working in Milgram, triggering John's appearance in Neoplasm.

John is surprised by Es's acceptance of the situation, and even says, "I'd just think it's a lie someone came up with to get away with murder." As he and Es continue to talk, John asks Es why they think he was born and confirms that his role is to protect Mikoto from harm. Es is the one to bring up the murder, and suddenly, the chatty John is giving short, vague responses, reiterating that he is the murderer, not Mikoto. Here's some of it, "Yeah, it's me. I killed them off... They annoyed me [so I killed them]... Just someone [a stranger] who was walking around nearby... Can't remember [how many I killed]." When Es demands to know how John can be so calm, John changes the subject to find out what will happen to Mikoto. When Es cannot give him a satisfactory answer, John repeats again and again that Mikoto is innocent and that he, John, is at fault, so please forgive Mikoto. I think John would admit to every wrongdoing of Mikoto's if that meant Mikoto's burden would be lifted. It's why I don't trust him. Not only is his confession too vague to be considered admissible, but as Mikoto’s protector, he also has a reason to take the fall. John is not an evil alter, but he is taking advantage of the trope to get Mikoto the Innocent verdict. An Innocent verdict, in John’s mind, will erase most of Mikoto’s current stress. It is too short term, and relies to heavily on Mikoto’s habit of denial. If Mikoto is found Innocent, there is a chance that he may continue to pull his head out of the sand to figure out what is going on so he can learn how to manage or suppress it so his everyday life won't be impacted.

Oh, and one more thing before I end this first part.

That Wasn't Mikoto at the End of Neoplasm, which is why Double differs from MeMe.

John is playing up the idea that he is an evil alter to get Mikoto out of trouble, and the weird behavior shown by 'Mikoto' at the end of Neoplasm is just John attempting to manipulate us. Do you guys remember at the end of John Doe when Mikoto is back in control and is confused and then horrified as to why he’s hurting and why Es is now covered in bruises? From what I’ve read, that confusion is a common sign of personalities having been switched, and so is the memory loss he has experienced. Now compare that to the end of Neoplasm, when John ‘leaves’ and Mikoto comes back and immediately starts guessing what kind of dog Es owns? And how weird that is because Mikoto had started the interview clearly worried over what is going on with him when he is ‘asleep’? I don’t think Mikoto actually came back. I think that that’s John taking advantage of Es being startled by the bell and pretending to be Mikoto and trying to emphasize how harmless Mikoto. Mikoto is just a little guy. How can someone so friendly be a monster?

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jannwrites · 5 months

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film ask meme : RE-ANIMATOR (1985) directed by STUART GORDON.

a selection of lines from the 1985 film re-animator. modified for rp purposes.

you idiot! you'll ruin my notes.

of course he's dead.

i gave him life.

your optimism is touching, but a waste of time.

don't know why they keep locked doors around here.

nobody wants in and ain't nobody gettin' out.

i'm sorry, [name]. i didn't mean to scare you.

i just didn't know anybody was here.

what were you researching?

i'm afraid the place is still kind of a mess.

you'll never even know that i'm here.

you didn't say why you left.

the brain can only survive an additional six to twelve minutes.

we all want to retain our personalities in some idyllic afterlife.

perhaps it takes desire. an obsessive desire.

these people are here to learn and you're closing their minds before they even have a chance!

look, it's not you, really. it's just a lot of little things.

do you ever see him?

i told you. he's a little cracked.

i certainly didn't think you'd want to find it like that.

i was busy pushing bodies around, as you well know.

i knew you were fond of it.

you killed him. i know you did.

all life is a physical and chemical process, correct?

i've conquered brain death.

do you agree that he's dead now?

i think you're being blinded by your emotions.

let's go. we're not going to find anything.

something should have happened by now.

i followed you here, and i'm gonna follow you until you listen to me!

it listened to me. it made a conscious act.

i want you to think of me as someone you can come to with your problems.

i don't have to talk to you.

oh, it is not the appearance of life. it is life.

i had to kill him.

i guess i'm just getting paranoid.

i tried to hate you. i wanted so much to hate you.

#rp meme #rp ask meme #rp sentence starters #rp starters #* mine.#meme: film.#ik there's a thousand re-animator ask memes floating around but i haven't seen them lately

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pony-central · 2 months

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Winter Lovers Part 2 - SMG4 Story

Summary - After receiving emails from Mario, telling them that they were going on holiday, SMG4 and SMG3 prepared their bags and set off to find their destination. Ultimately, they were driven away to the Arctic and locked in an igloo. Can these two Meme Guardians escape in time, or will they once again be... Snowtrapped?

SMG3 was banging his fists against the door, trying to get Mario's attention. But the door was locked, so there was no way to get out of there.

SMG4: He wants us... To relive... The igloo incident...

SMG3: MARIO! LET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, OR ELSE I'LL SLAM THE DOOR ON YOUR PINGAS AGAIN!!! 😠

No response from the red plumber. SMG3 sighed in frustration. He didn't know how to entertain himself. All there was in the igloo was himself, a TV, a toilet, and his friend, who wasn't having a good time.

The blue Meme Guardian sniffled. He didn't like the igloo, as it was the same one him and SMG3 were in eight years ago. SMG4 started to whimper, and then, his whimpers turned into crying. SMG3 got slightly concerned.

SMG3: Uhhh, hey. SMG4? What's wrong? 🤨

SMG4: *whimpers* I don't like it here. I wanna go home! 😭

SMG3: So do I. But, Mario won't let us leave. Plus, there's no fucking heater in here! We're gonna freeze to death unless we get warm somehow! 😫

SMG4: *sobs* I know! 😭😭😭

SMG3: Oh, SMG4. Please don't get all emotional. We're grown men, not babies. It's time to man up.

SMG4 sniffled and got up.

SMG4: OK. But, how do we heat up? There's no heater around here.

SMG3: That's what I was saying.

SMG4: Well, I guess we could... Share body heat. That could warm us up.

SMG3 was blushing. SMG4 smirked at him.

SMG4: Ooh, you're being a Tsundere again, SMG3. 😏

SMG3: N - No, I'm not! You... BAKA! 😳🫣

SMG4: *laughing* OK. I guess that DID cheer me up a bit. Good thing I have a blanket here.

He pulled out a blue and purple blanket from his luggage. SMG3 was relieved that the blue boy had a way of staying warm during the brutal winters. SMG3 huddled up with SMG4 and they spent their time watching TV.

SMG3: You feel better now?

SMG4: Yeah. I do. I bet you miss Eggdog. 😊

SMG3: I guess so. But still, it's been a while since we last, well... You know... Shared body heat and went crazy in here. *sighs* Memories. Even if over a million people remembered it. 😔

He was then surprised at SMG4 snuggling next to him. The blue boy had fallen asleep.

SMG4: 😴

SMG3: *soft chuckle* Aww. *hugs him back*

SMG3 started shivering. The coldness was getting to him. SMG4 was still fast asleep to even notice.

SMG3: *mind* Fuck. I'm still cold! Is the blanket not cold enough?

He noticed SMG4 was shivering, too. But not in the "I'm freezing" way. More like the "I'm having a crazy dream!" way.

SMG3: Huh? Why is he shaking in his sleep? 😟

SMG4: *soft whimpers* Please... SMG3... Go... H... Mmm!

SMG3: *mind* Is he.... Dreaming about me?

SMG4: *soft whimpering* I... I love... I love you...

SMG3: *mind* Oh, my God. He IS thinking about me.

SMG3 snuggled up to SMG4 and hugged him. SMG4 could only muster up a small smile. It would be a long night in the igloo. 😊

To be Continued...

#SMG4 #SMG3 #smg4 snowtrapped

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marvelmyriad · 11 months

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markiplier Resident Evil: Village quotes as ask memes - PART 2:

well that was a wasted bullet, sorry

that was probably a mistake, i don't care though, whatever

this is where my adhd is really going to come in handy

all right come here you bastards, i know how to block now

oh, get stabbed

you're gonna get a face full of stab if you keep that up

i'm gonna use that the shotgun

you think i can't kill you with a knife, i can. i'm probably going to have to

good thing he doesn't pull out his machete that would really be an advantage for him

unfortunately for him my arms are super sturdy

can i block with a gun? i can, okay. hey bud!

that's dope as hell, is there vodka in it?

i was in stealth mode, how dare you?

i want to save my gunpowder because i'm insane

maybe you should have locked it

you all right? you need a knife to plug up that wound?

if it's just the one of you i shall stab thee, if it's two i am going to run away

oh i didn't think there were so many of you

okay watch this, you want to see something sick? watch this watch this, watch this sickness

am i supposed to be able to shoot all these guys? because i'm about to run out of bullets

you're gonna pay for that one in dividends

well money has value depending on who you ask otherwise it might just be rocks

okay so i something tells me i'm probably not supposed to try to kill all these dudes

hold on i gotta get more bullets

well that's good for me and bad for you

oh well good thing i killed all those dudes because otherwise they would have absolutely murdered you both, but i'm a hero

why is there chem fluid in the bathroom?

seems like you actually know how to lock things

yeah, you get far in life like that

look, i'm doing all the work here, if you want to sit in the house

there's so much blood, oh god

oh, maybe step out of the way of the gun

okay cool, just wanted to type out my life story real quick

don't mind if i look at all your things do you? all right here i go, um ah, very interesting…

i wonder if this is all the places where there's like, secret stuff

who's talking to me?

you should put your faith in someone taller someone more uh, robust, powerful-powerful is really the word that we're all thinking of

whatever dude, you want to go outside?

uh okay sounds really convincing

that was a spell just to get the tea going

I have a gun, i ha- i have a gun, i have a gun, i got a gun

that voice sounded familiar

well uh you didn't do enough of the right thing

okay well that's fine this entire place is collapsing yeah, well, we'll be safe in here

no we're getting out of here together you and me, bestie, we're besties now, come on

yeah you know i gotta go, everything's on fire

but how about that cup of tea?

all right well i'm leaving and you can stay if you want i guess

what the hell do i do? am i stupid?

the answer is no, but also you guys probably got a wrong answer because you're stupid and said yes, so really who's this stupid one? might be you

let's move, come on bestie, we got this.

let's go and try not to breathe in the smoke

uh oh i shouldn't have said something like that because that guarantees death

yep here's the guaranteed death

well that seemed unnecessarily dramatic. if only you were nine feet tall, you could have reached me

i get that that one was very tragic but there was everything she could have done to prevent her doom

i feel like she would be screaming in agony from the fire burning

if only she knew about what a window was

good god i smacked my wound hand

i know i should feel like more remorseful but to be perfectly honest, that was a bit ridiculous

it's my fault for saying the magic words that gets people killed

oh hey, old bag of rats

all right man that was a toughie

nothing but blood and death

apparently i'm just i'm a badass

that wasn't cold at all, i'm fine

just taking a little soak, cleaning myself off, i want to be respectable and presentable

hey what's up? oh didn't think anyone was left, you must be pretty tough, huh?

you're not local, even better

oh i'm sorry, the metal spike in my chest is a little whine-inducing

i'm used to this, i run for my life like, a lot

oh wow this is just cruel

hey thanks for the money and the ammo

you didn't even take my gun, you amateur

do they not have cameras here? probably not, they only got an extremely intricate system of spinning blades why would they have cameras anyway?

extra baggage, okay, emotional or otherwise

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

all right, i got a dope ass gun

yeah, i'm sure that was nothing

oh, i'm just gonna let you do that apparently

how many horrific stab wounds have i sustained?

ow, that's my wound hand

this is not a sexual thing, it's about power right?

#rp memes #markiplier quotes #resident evil: village playthrough #rp meme quotes #markiplier quotes rp meme

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lazaruspitreborn · 6 months

Note

Talk about Dick [>w> idk what you were expecting tbh XD]

@dramatisperscnae || meme

Log entry JT-01

[shuffling sounds can be heard, Jason is pacing as he records the entry]

I've been meaning to do this for a while... or to try to do this. My therapist recommended I try to let out some of what's inside my head and chest like this, and one of my friends has also advised me to try this out; they suggested I try writing, but if I do it, I have higher chances of never getting through with much.

It's less a matter of time and more of doing it whenever I have something to get out. This way, I might be able to get things going and create a routine.

So... Things have been nice-ish? Harley is back on her cell in Blackgate; Freeze has been locked and quiet for a while (I doubt he'll come back any time soon after the woop-ass beating he got last time); Clayface seems to be a work in progress, but we're getting through with him. We still have the issue of the Court and the League, but that's for another log, I guess.

The reason I decided to finally start this has to do with my current situation. Ever since Bruce brought me back into the fold, everyone wants me to feel like a part of the family, they try and do everything they can, and I appreciate it, but... not gonna lie here, I'm uncomfortable. Specially with what goes inside my head when the subject is Dick.

[sighs]

It's been a while and we were getting along well for the most part, I accepted that there are things that we might not always agree on, but that's okay. It's good to have different opinions on the table, right? If everyone agrees with everything he says, like they did with Bruce, we might end up with another death in this family (and we've had enough of it already).

No, my issue has to do with the mess that's inside me. He wasn't a good brother to me when I was younger, things were rocky at best and I resent him for that, but when I put all of that baggage to the side, when I ignore the whole "big brother" act he wants to put on, I... I kind of like him. And this has been a problem for a while, because I just can't see him in that light. I can't see him as my brother, not in the familial sense, but as a sort of bond in our nightly endeavours. He's a brother to me like a soldier sees another as their sibling, but outside... Well... Outside I feel confuse to say the least.

[the shuffling stops and there's a creak of springs bouncing under Jason's weight]

"We cannot control who we love." Alfred told me this once when we talked about Bruce's relationship with Talia... I'm afraid this may be the same thing I'm dealing with, though I'm not sure what kind of love is this that I feel.

[four consecutive thuds of Jason hitting his head on the wall can be heard]

Dick... makes me feel strange. He makes me nervous, I'm constantly stepping on eggshells when I'm around him, afraid I'll say something beyond everything wrong that I've said before and break this sort of balance that we have (and honestly, I wouldn't judge him if he cut me off for that, because this? I was mostly just fitting the role he seemed to want from me). But he's also caring, giving and a nurturer, he makes everyone around him feel seen to a point, he's always there whenever anyone needs a shoulder or an ear, ready to get up and go with them, to try and help in whatever way he can, and I like that... [snorts] ... alright, I might like the package as well, but he'll never hear about this from me. His ego is inflated enough as it is and Babs has told me that it's not my imagination when I commented with her that he keeps peeking on the mirror to check his own backend. [more snorts] If he ever hears that I like to watch him go, or that I keep my eyes busy because if I let them wonder, there's a high chance they'll go seeking his gaze, I think he'll implode. And an imploded Dick Grayson means he'll be a menance for a whole week or more (if what I heard from Wally when I was younger is true).

I guess we'll see where this goes.

I mean, I told him that I don't see him as a brother and I exposed myself more than I'm comfortable to admit. So what's missing? A love letter and a candlelight dinner? Nah. That doesn't sound like his style, or mine quite frankly. I probably sound like a hopeless romantic when I talk like this (not like I'm not, I managed to spend a week thinking about how it felt to hold his hand, even though it was just to help myself get what I had to say out of my mouth, for fucks sake!).

Anyways, I feel like he finally got the memo, because I don't sense the invisible pressure to be a little brother anymore, that role is all Tim's to keep.

So... yeah... it's been a wild ride trying to figure this out and to say anything. I don't even know if this log is making much sense, I'm simply letting everything out in one go without thinking much about it all.

(Should I delete this?)

Guess I'll keep this log for a while. It may help me later.

End log.

#dramatisperscnae #//listen he is a mess #//but he owns to it and does what he can to get better

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xaphroditessecretsx · 11 months

Text

I'm seeing my best friend for the first time in three years in about a week and a half. I'm proud of her for everything she's accomplished, but I feel left behind. If I'm being honest, it's how I feel about a lot of my friends. They're either getting married, dream careers, everything they want. While I struggle. I had to watch one of my friends succumb to terminal illness, and I never got to say goodbye, (I physically could not get out of bed when she died).

It feels like everyone I know gets everything they want. New friends? Got it! Money? Got it! I have been recovering from years of trauma and all I get is more shit. More lies, more hurt. It never ends. I try to be positive, or journal about it. But I'm just hurting and angry. I got to watch my 2 best friends' mutual friend (who I used to be friends with, but she turned out to be a bigoted bully who would tell me to kill myself and other graphic things every day) succeed. My two closest friends don't even blink an eye to what she did to me, I often hear "Oh she's changed!" Homies, she wanted me dead, she made me apologize to her for her putting death threats in my old bag when I had to be around her.

I feel lonely in my LDR. My partner was supposed to come this week, and we'd finally get to see each other (we're nevermets), but things got messed up, and now I don't know when I'll see them. Or if I'll ever see them. Which I love them dearly!!!! But I need physical affection, and hugging myself isn't the cure all! I can't imagine myself without them, but at the same time, I feel so lonely. I hate "dating a phone" sometimes. It sucks. My friend that is getting married (to a guy that's financially using her but if I say something she'll flip out), told me I will never find someone who loves me for me. And I have found that person, unfortunately the universe said "Nope y'all can't see each other"

And then my grandmother who physically and mentally abused my mother, well grandma is dying from cancer. Everyone expects me to be sad and praying for her. I feel nothing for this woman who used to lock me in her shed, would physically and mentally abuse me and my sister, give my baby cousin trauma from the things he witnessed her do to me. The only good thing, is my baby cousin and I have been closer for the first time in years. We used to be so close as little kids, and then we drifted apart. And now here we are calling each other to bring joy every day or sending memes or whatever. I guess some good things come from some horrors.

This is small, but I invited my friends to come over Saturday just to hang out, nothing crazy. Nobody said yes or no. I guess it's a trip to the bookstore for me! :')

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patriciavetinari · 11 months

Text

I just saw a post saying 'we just have to let the staff know we're unhappy about the updates and we'll be fine' all non-chalant and honestly, I wished we lived in a world op lives i . Tumblr is barely functioning even now for the purposes it claims to function (blogging moreso than social media). I mean I like this dump, I've made it my own, but they are serious about increasing revenue - the ads, the blazes, the lives, the unblockable emporium and art accounts. It's a company like any other. Come on. Under capitalism corporation has no reason to listen to the users if not doing so increases income, and tumblr is a corporation, however small and poorly planned that corporation is and however cosy we feel here. They're here to make money, from us, not to provide five star experience. Theh will not listen. They have not listened about stuff that threatened people's lives, like nazi blogs, terfs, absolutely vile bigots, death threats. They have not listened on live, on dashboard preferences for new accounts, sex workers, fucking search function. They gave you polls and you think someone there is listening and vibing with the working class? Yes it might suck less than other right now, but tumblr is sure lubing up its throat to reach tbe deepthroating level of sucking.

Consider forums. Learn basic website building. Get emails (not dicsords, that place is also losing any little appeal it might have had) of your mutuals so that once this all will come tumbling down (pun intended and yes it will) so that you stay in touch.

You've got to stop being reliant on poorly run websites to keep you connected. Emails and phone numbers are more useful. Don't lose touch with a person you have no other way of contacting other than tumblr / discord / twitter / reddit. Get at email. Get a phone number if you're comfortable and have enough trust.

Once all of the sites become unusable, yes, you will have to put your shitposts and memed into a letter and make a mailing list if needed, and that might be ridiculous until you feel lonely and the only person you want to talk to is the mutual shitposter and then you send and email and can get an answer and stay in touch.

Yes gmail is a horrible google product, yes look for alternatives, but emails are not going under as soon as social media. And fucking write them down in a notebook in case the situation is so destitute you are locked out of your accounts or even lose reliable access to internet at home.

Emails and address books are your friends.

Also, consider starting forums for your fandoms and discussion topics and roleplays. Yes it's nore finicky and you need accounts for those but tech companies got us where we are today by being so darn convenient we forgot how to live a life without them. Take charge of keeping up your online communities without relying on predatory bloated companies.

#i'm gonna got get mutuals' emails while I'm at it #put my money where my mouth is

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bdbdhdjdhdh · 1 year

Text

My Hero PSLE: S4E12 "WHAT DO YOU SEEEEEE????"

"Yo mama so stupid she sold her car to pay for her gas bills!"

-yo mama jokes series

"TODAY. WE FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM AND FOR THE SAKE OF ENTIRE WEEK OF FOR HOLIDAY IN THE FUTURE. AVENGERS! ASSEMBL-" Tempest commanded loudly.

"Aw hell nah we're not using that stupid code- SHIT PEOPLE! GET YO ASSES HERE IF YOU WANNA FREE WEEK HOLIDAY!" And then came Grandmaster into the equation.

*entire squad of Chrysalis assembles*

"Well I guess that's works too, ANYWAY! TODAY WE PROCEED AS PLANNED! IS THAT CLEAR?" *insert visibly annoyed and also impressed Tempest meme here*

"YES SIR!"

"SEMULA! WHO SAY YOU CAN GO! BARIS BOKKONAN-wait-" *insert quality Grandmaster self-doubt meme here*

(leave a comment if you finished the command in your head in your own in the voice of senior in which case I advise you to go get some therapy 💀)

"Ok ok just go carry out the plan lah, don't care anymore, we will provide backup soon," Tempest re-commanded.

OPERATION: FREEDOM AND HOLIDAY: FIGHT!

Lol well if you came here thinking you could read some elaborate plan then no, it's just some people fighting some gods and some cummy guy who won't stop talking about sex-

ANYWAY ANYWAY. How about we focus on Unicorn-face's side of things, eh?

Anyway. All is quiet in the prison cell she is locked up in. The guards are sound asleep. They do not know what is to come.

And then suddenly-a loud bang across the room. The guards are startled from their sleep and rush to go investigate the matter. But it's only-UNICORN-FACE! WHO HAS SOMEHOW MANAGED TO ESCAPE! OMG! I WONDER IF IF'S DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE OF HER POWERS AS AN ANIMAL-FACE OR WHATEVER! OMG!

Anyway. The guards go there...and then are strangled to death as Unicorn-face holds their dead bodies by the throat in each hand and step out walking like cool shit.

She walks slowly.

And slowly.

And slo- "EY CAN HURRY UP OR NOT? WE HAVE A FUCKING EXUVIA AND CUM GUY TO KILL BRO!"

Moral of the story: Don't walk like how the characters walk in movies, they have thicc ass plot armor as thicc as yo mama-

SO. Unicorn-face has the Dark Sleep ready, apparently she was getting locked up in prison just so she'd have easy quick access to that when the time came, and the Chrysalis, after receiving the news, has assembled preparing to challenge the Heavenly Lord.

And since they're all just standing in a parade in the middle of the fucking town city where everyone can see them, of course someone dialled Heavenly Lord and he came down soon.

And then they all did a really really really cool thing. When Heavenly Lord came, he just asked a simple question: "What the fuck is going on here?"

To which they simply replied by taking off their masks and exposing their faces.

Of course this shocked Heavenly Lord since, ya know, he ask everyone wear mask and those who don want have to go get killed, but now so many people thicc skin want to don wear mask in front of him.

"We. Have decided that we are not going to wear your stupid masks. You got a problem with that?"

And then Heavenly Lord responded with a "OF COURSE I'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT SHIT YOU JUST SAID! FIGHT!"

*assembles own army of citizens of dystopia and regulat citizens too*

And then they fought. (But not Heavenly Lord straightaway obviously, since they clearly don wanna kill the leader first that would just end everything)

And then halfway through Xiao Ming and the gang came into the scene and started fighting too.

And then the people who got turned into monsters by the plague also came to help fight.

An interesting conversation was between COM and Ma Xiao Tiao:

COM: You have no business being here.

Ma Xiao Tiao: Oh but I do have a lot of business being here.

COM: ANYWAY! I BESTOW UPON YOU THE POWER OF CUM-

Ma Xiao Tiao: NO YOU SHALL NOT! UNO REVERSE CARD!

COM: UNO REVERSE GUARD! *pulls out handguard made from uno reverse cards*

Ma Xiao Tiao: NOOOO!!! GIGACHAD POWER REFLECT!

COM: AAHAHAH NOOOO

Ma Xiao Tiao: *flicks magical middle finger for the final blow*

COM: *is now like half-dead after being defeated by the power of memes*

Ok now back to the main story. Now the Chrysalis is busy fighting off the other brainwashed citizens WHEN THEY CLEARLY COULD HAVE JUST TRIED TO KILL HEAVENLY LORD WHEN THAT WOULD END IT ALL.

And even Heavenly Lord isn't bothering to do anything. He's just sitting there, watching the people fight and watching COM and Ma Xiao Tiao fight and eating his popcorn comfortably.

Wa lao eh, BUAY SONG AH? YAO DA JIA AH? Ey wait, is don want to da jia then liddat what...

Anyway. Now finally after doing her slow cool walk after so long, Unicorn-face has finally escaped the prison and made it to the fighting arena of right in the middle of the fucking city square. OH FINALLY SHE'S BROUGHT THE DARK SLEEP WITH HER THIS TIME!

But luckily no one noticed her, so she quickly vaporised the Dark Sleep, put it into like tear gas sprayers, and then sprayed Heavenly Lord full of it.

And then of course Heavenly Lord will breathe it in. Then suddenly he knelt down, clutching his head, screaming:

"RSYXOD0WKWNBFUCICMRKEPE!!!! MY THRIUMPH OVER THIS LANDDDDD!!!!"

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godworn · 3 years

Text

tags.

#[ † ] ;; YOU HAVE [1] UNREAD EMAIL. (asks.)#[ † ] ;; BACKUP FILE. (saved.)#[ † ] ;; FEATURED. (promo.)#[ † ] ;; LETS SPREAD THIS BITCH. (self promo.)#[ † ] ;; FOLLOW THE BLOOD. (scenery.)#[ † ] ;; PHOTONS RUN THROUGH YOUR BLOOD LIKE STARS IN A MOONLESS NIGHT. (aesthetic.)#[ † ] ;; WHAT KIND OF EXPERIMENTS DOES A DEAD DOCTOR PERFORM ON LIVING PATIENTS? (the asylum.)#[ † ] ;; SPILL YOUR GUTS. (musing.)#[ † ] ;; LOOKING FOR STATIC. (music.)#[ † ] ;; YOU'VE SENT ME AN APOSTLE. (meta.)#[ † ] ;; YOUR BLOOD IS INK AND YOUR LIFE RUNS IN PICTURES. (headcanon.)#[ † ] ;; THERE ARE THINGS IN HERE THAT BITE. (wants.)#[ † ] ;; WE'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH DEATH. (meme.)#[ † ] ;; WE'RE REPORTING LIVE FROM HELL. (miles.)#[ † ] ;; THERE'S A DARKNESS HIDDEN IN MY BONES. MY BLOOD RUNS BLACK. (walrider.)#[ RE ] ;; EVERY BREATH I TAKE IS FILLED WITH YOUR SMOKE. (& walrider.)#[ RE ] ;; LIKE DAMOCLES; HER FATE FOREVER CASTING SHADOWS OVER HER. (& chris.)#[ RE ] ;; BABY YOU'RE A HAUNTED HOUSE. (& sy.)

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upshuring · 6 years

Text

Outlast Sentence Meme Part 2

change pronouns as fit. part 1.

Nobody likes a quitter.

I had to burn it. All of it.

What if he's not the problem? What if he's trying to fix it?

Fuck this place.

I don't even know your name.

I've come to think of you as one of my blood.

I am here for you. I am waiting ahead.

I can see his ghost.

You're beginning to understand, but not yet.

Not my babies. Oh god ....

Like putting a penny into your mouth when you were a kid.

The whispers are making more sense.

I'm looking for static.

Follow the blood.

How can I not remember where the cuts are coming from?

Her husband, too, has found comfort in a younger woman.

Only one way out. One way.

So ___ got that going for him.

Wouldn't mind doing it over a glass of wine.

If I had not witnessed it myself, I would not have believed it had happened.

The key to the house of God is in the theater.

It's impossible to understand the things we felt. What we believed.

That man sounds like Dr. Strangelove's anemic brother.

It gets in my head like a song you can't stop humming.

You alone shall escape to tell them.

The promise of the prophets was always freedom from death.

You are no longer in any danger.

I can't believe ____ one upped Jesus Christ himself in shitty ways to die.

I'll tell the whole fucking world.

Give me a hacksaw and a few hours alone with ___. I feel I owe him a debt.

You escaped one hell. God help me, but I somehow hope you didn't find another.

I'm older than sin, but somehow... the only one left.

He certainly loves me, the poor idiot.

It was foolish and wrong to think we could control it.

We have always looked into chaos and called it God.

Killing you would be an act of kindness.

#i spent my afternoon replaying the entire fucking game so i could finish it after a WHOLE YEAR #[ † ] ;; WE'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH DEATH. (meme.)#ok to reblog !

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apostlc-a · 3 years

Text

tag dump general.

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canmom · 2 years

Note

Not sure if you've read the Locked Tomb series yet or plan to, but if you have, interesting article by C. L. Clark that just came out on the Tor website the other day, "The Crosses We Bear: The Butch Martyr in SFF" comparing TLT and Baru, that you might be interested in! Would love to know your

ooh, i'll take a look! I heard Seth and Tamsyn are friends and therefore refuse to read each others books lol. anyway here's the article, to save others the trouble of looking.

I enjoyed the Locked Tomb series quite a bit so far. the like... anatomically hyperdetailed guro magic is a really fun touch and a great aesthetic core, and Tamsyn has the fantastic grasp of narrative voice you'd expect from someone who initially became known for Homestuck fanfiction (and also the love of very knowing and deliberate meme deployment, mixing humour and seriousness, etc.). They definitely stand out a lot.

I have not yet read CL Clark's own novel The Unbroken, which is very much marketed towards this current wave of 'lesbians and imperialism' SFF, so I can't comment on the response to these characters they mention in this essay!

Anyway, I don't know if you can really draw out a trope from exactly two (albeit, to varying degrees, popular) examples; but Clark does a good job of drawing out the parallels in these stories. I'm less fond of some of the theoretical frameworks being deployed here like 'queering' things (such a conveniently vague signifier!) but they aren't that important.

Here's how they sum up the device they're discussing:

they’re often attached both narratively and romantically to who I like to refer to as the conniver, who may or may not be ‘femme’ per se, but is usually less ‘butch’ than the butch in question [meaning] that their strength comes from a less stereotypically masculine realm, e.g. magic or politics, instead of brute strength. (...) The conniver is also depicted as ruthless, cunning, and manipulative, held in stark relief against the charm, humor, and honor of the butch warrior.

The second thing—the butch dies. Specifically, they die in service to the conniver, either to protect the conniver or to further their goals—usually both. For their devotion, the butches become saintly martyrs, representatives of their virtues: physical strength, loyalty, selfless nobility, and sex appeal

The thrust of the essay is their discomfort balancing their great enthusiasm for this narrative with, well, the fact that it's a story of sacrifice and death for the characters with whom they most identify; let me quote their last paragraph:

I write about this because it’s no secret that I love this pairing in genre fiction and character sacrifice is one of those heightened moments that glues readers to the page. The moment of death would seem to be one of the most agency-filled moments for the paladin. But I would like to see this beloved trope stretched further. The butch paladin still necessitates devotion—that’s what a paladin is after all. But there’s potential in giving them their own causes at odds with the conniver they’re also devoted to—what will the paladin sacrifice then? Love? Duty? What happens if the conniver sacrifices herself instead, repaying the undying loyalty with devotion of her own, and showing readers that butches are worth being sacrificed for? Or what if the paladin realizes that the conniver they’ve devoted themselves to isn’t worth their loyalty after all, and instead lets them die or fail at the crucial moment—what if the paladin’s duty is to kill the conniver herself?

There's definitely something to this; it's certainly a very clear description of the narrative that has found a lot of appeal for readers of both books. I'm not sure of the prescribed remedies really quite get at the issue we're struggling with though, and there are differences to draw out here. Spoilers follow... (I had to reread the endings of Gideon and Harrow to refresh myself which was a nice diversion lol.)

Clark has lined up the similarities very well, so what's the major difference?

Tain Hu is characterised by a straightforwardness and lack of subterfuge, but never ignorance. Throughout Traitor, she appears at various points to prompt Baru in the right direction, and basically indicate like "I'll be here when you're ready". She arranges her death not because of an endless faith in Baru's mission, although she evidently does have faith in Baru's potential, but to force a change in Baru's course.

This event completely breaks Baru, now a plural system; one alter (the 'tulpa') shapes herself in the image of Tain Hu, while the other tries to continue her ruthless campaign out of a desperate wish to make good on what Tain Hu saw in her, now with an absolute license for atrocity because nothing could be worse than killing her lover. She falls apart further and further throughout Monster and Tyrant, and the only way she starts to heal is learning to live more like Tain Hu.

Gideon meanwhile is kept in the dark for most of Gideon the Ninth; on the surface she sees Harrow as an enemy but mostly she's desperate for acknowledgement and reciprocation rather than contempt. While Tain Hu is characterised by maturity, Gideon is characterised mostly by impulsiveness and frustration. Her sacrifice to power up Harrow is a spur-of-the-moment decision in an emergency, rather than something considered; there is no real analogue to the scene at the Elided Keep where Tain Hu explains her intentions, and Harrow is given no choice in the matter.

Harrow no doubt does have a lot to learn from Gideon, but her actions in Harrow the Ninth show that she's learned very little, attempting to confine what's left of Gideon to a kind of pocket dimension and rewrite her own memories because she cannot bear to use the power she was granted, as this will destroy Gideon altogether.

Harrow's ambitions also take much longer to be spelled out than Baru's; we're kept considerably in the dark about the big picture because both books take the structure of a mystery building to a gradual reveal. Moreover, Harrow is actually fairly peripheral to the major 'plot events' of Harrow the Ninth, namely the tension between John and his original crop of Lyctors which eventually results in an assassination attempt.

Baru's major conflicts are ethical ones - what she's prepared to do in service of her self-appointed mission, what her real motivation is (saving Taranoke or power for its own sake), how her belief system allows her to be controlled. Baru is ironically a very moralistic person, just with a very warped ethical system; she's constantly obsessed with whether what she's doing is justifiable. Tau lays it out plainly in Tyrant:

A smile sweet like sugar rot. “You need me to be your little amphora, your bottle of reserve goodness, to shatter and use up. You’ve been dying a slow death since you killed Hu. You need to take another soul to finish your work. Only it’ll never be done. You’ll always need more. And no matter what you do here, Baru, I expect that by some strange coincidence it will end up being what Mister Cairdine Farrier wants. Don’t you think so, too?”

Harrow's conflicts are more personal, relating to her guilt over the atrocity that her parents used to create her, and her feelings towards the still-mysterious corpse in the eponymous Locked Tomb. Her relationship to Gideon is also different; she encountered Gideon as a child and their relationship up until the pool scene in Gideon the Ninth is characterised by taking out these traumatic experiences on Gideon, treating her as a 'whipping girl'. Even when they are forced into an alliance in the actual events of Gideon the Ninth, Harrow keeps Gideon at arm's length and treats her with disdain and distrust for most of the book, which ultimately leads to several needless deaths.

Rather than channeling her grief into a series of self-destructive misadventures to somehow justify the faith placed in her, Harrow's form of self-destruction comes from denial. Baru feels she must use the power that Tain Hu's sacrifice gains her, while Harrow continues to refuse Gideon's desire to be used (or 'eaten'). Gideon doesn't actually have any particular interest in Harrow's grand project or ambitions; her entire life has been defined by this one relationship and she chooses to redefine it when Harrow seems to be receptive - and this seems to come as a surprise even to her.

Having lined out these two parallel stories, we can agree with Clark that they are still definitely very similar. We haven't yet seen what Harrow's arc will turn out to be (and it seems book 3 may change viewpoint character again, but who knows), but in each case - taking Clark's terminology of 'conniver' and 'butch' - the sacrifice of the much more pure and straightforward 'butch' is a turning point which forces the 'conniver' to reconsider their destructive path and opens the possibility for something new. The following books concern whether they take it.

So, for all the oaths and so on, I guess my small point of contention here is just that it is not simply for the sake of advancing the interests of the 'conniver' that the 'butch' sacrifices their life, but something a little more complex. It is because the 'conniver' is wrong, but has potential that the 'butch' here dies. Their 'faith' is that they see something in the 'conniver' that is not evident to most people. (Edit: on consideration, this has far more applicability to Baru than to TLT)

Part of the reason for this structure - 'conniver' lives, 'butch' dies - is perhaps that, generally speaking, novels are structured around change - in this case, the 'character arc'. Gideon and Tain Hu are, in their respective circumstances, relatively well-adjusted and confident of their own identities. Harrow and Baru are tortured souls who have buckets of trauma to work through and cause all sorts of harm in the meantime... which is exciting, because it's fun to read about someone who's a hot mess making terrible mistakes.

We could perhaps suppose further here that Tain Hu and Gideon are projections of the desires of their authors while Baru and Harrow are projections of their struggles and neuroses, but of course nothing is ever that simple!

So if we wanted to centre a story on a character like Gideon or Tain Hu without them dying at the end of the book, I think the recipe is just this: we just gotta mess them up some more (which is to say, give them more visible complex interiority). You need them to be really deeply, horribly wrong about something - perhaps you could even use, say, believing that it would be right to sacrifice themselves for the sake of saving some tortured, ambitious scheming young prodigy, who actually isn't worth the effort at all. Perhaps trying to be a straightforwardly good person is also fraught.

Which isn't far off what Clark was suggesting, but I think the difference isn't who is worth being sacrificed for (although it can be totally read that way (edit: and certainly has been the case in prior instances of the 'butch dies' trope)) so much as whose neuroses are interesting enough to carry a novel. And yeah, there's certainly an imbalance there. I think it's very rare to see a butch lesbian at the centre of such a story, at least in SFF genre lit. (Admittedly it's only very recently that you might see a lesbian at all.) (Edit: I certainly do not disagree that this is a limiting narrative. If the above is being taken as a rejoinder to Clark, I've written it very poorly.)

So I definitely think it's past time I read The Unbroken, and saw what Clark's answer to this dilemma is. Because above anything else, it's clearly something deeply important and difficult for her, and trying to wrestle with something 'deeply important and difficult' is one of the best lines towards good fiction to my eye...

(edit: i think my comments here ended up being much more specific to just one of these two series - I was very much reading TLT through Baru here. Gideon does in fact carry a novel, and with her heroic return at the end of HtN and the reveal that Lyctors need not kill their Cavalier, the series might avoid killing her at all; Harrow's character is not the central pillar of the series as Baru's is, and i think many readers were disappointed at the shift in tone in the second book at first. Gideon did not really die to force a change in Harrow; her overwhelming loyalty rather came as a result of Harrow's stance changing.

But I think we're also reading Baru through TLT in large part here by taking Tain Hu as uncomplicatedly a butch lesbian - she can certainly be read that way since her physicality is so emphasised by Baru's gaze and her martial skill is 'the source of her power', but particularly in contrast to Gideon they don't go out of the way to give her 'masculine' signifiers beyond this. Baru is a story very consciously engaging with the 'doomed lesbian romance' narrative as a tool of imperial control, and so someone dying is necessary to carry forward the critique, but if it's going to inspire more doomed romances it's seriously misfired. I was at first very skeptical of how it was using this device, though the sequels more than brought me around.)

#baru cormorant #the locked tomb #the traitor baru cormorant #the monster baru cormorant #the tyrant baru cormorant #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #fiction #books

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nekobadassclub · 3 years

Text

LATE !

At school with M/n who is looking for his friends who are running late 🤭

M/n:Are yall coming to school today Yes or No 🤔

Jin: Yes we running late because of someone

Namjoon: Hey M/n is the teacher in the class yet

M/n:Not yet why how far away are yall?

Jungkook : is that a meme of me ?

Namjoon: Yep Jun got all the memes of everyone but were getting off topic here

Jungkook: were a hour away M/n😅

Jimin : is she in class now M/n

Yoongi : No she can't be she always late

M/n : And those are facts she never on time which I don't mind because it give me time to finish homework from my other classes because I be staying up and reading Wattpad or watching horror movies and games 😔

Jin : Wait did we have homework 🤔

Taehyung : Yes we did it was a 10 page essay about something we watched I did mine on watching M/n trying to make the devil his bitch😐

Yoongi : wait what M/n doing what now

M/n : Taehyung nobody was supposed to know that but anyways I did mine on vines

Jungkook : I did mine on Iron Man

Namjoon : I did mine on friends

Yoongi : I did mine on sleeping

Hoseok : I did mine on dancing

Jimin : I did mine on hanging out with friends

Jin : I forgot we had homework 😓

M/n:

Namjoon: Is she in the class yet cause we at the gate 🤨

M/n: she's not here yet 😐

Jin: Good I hope she forgot about the homework 🙂

Yoongi: She probably didn't she never does 😒

Jin:

Hoseok : were almost to the class 🤗

BTS walks in the class and goes to their seats that is near M/n

M/n : She really late today so Jin you'll probably finish the essay before she gets here if everyone of us does one part 😎

Jin: Yes 😆

A few minutes they all helped Jin finish his essay and the teacher still hadn't arrived yet

M/n: Guys you know what I just noticed 😓

M/n: Nobody here but us .......

Yoongi : I'm check the sign 🤨

Hoseok: Guys today's a teacher work day that's why nobody here😔

M/n: but the teachers not here either 🤔

Hoseok : because everyone when home and were locked in the school until tomorrow🤭

Jungkook: Were all gonna fucking die 😭

Jimin: What do you mean we are locked in here until tomorrow 😅

Yoongi:

Taehyung: Should we I don't know call the police

Namjoon : The police would just laugh as if we're pranking them 🥲

Jin: This is why we should have check before coming to school but why was the doors left unlocked for anyone to walk in to the school 😐

Hoseok: That I do not know 😑

M/n: So we stuck in the school until tomorrow 😔

Hoseok: pretty much 😓

Taehyung :

M/n: What type of game

(((＼（＠v＠）／)))

Jin: I wouldn't have ask that Jigsaw games is usually life or death 😐

Namjoon: Jigsaw is not real he just a made up horror movie character 🙄

M/n: Actually Jigsaw is real Namjoon google the story 🤗

Yoongi: We could jump out the window since we on the first floor but the alarm to the school may go off 💀

Hoseok: Yeah and glass may pierce you so nah I'm good 😑

M/n : What type of game 🤔

While they are busy talking they don't notice the principle car is still outside 😶

M/n: 12 True Creepy SCHOOL TEACHER Stories From Reddit: https://youtu.be/DzOrW0zJAxk

Jin: I'm not watching that nope no

Taehyung: looks like our teacher doesn't 😂

M/n : Yep maybe it is our teacher 🤣

Jungkook: Guys there a car outside

Everyone runs towards the window and notices the principal car still there

Namjoon: That's the principle how can we get him notice where in the school ?

Yoongi : Throw something out the window to get his attention

Jimin : M/n give us your laptop

M/n : Hell Nah to the nah nah

Hoseok throws out M/n notebook with his essay in it out the window

M/n : my work 😭

The principle looks up after getting out his car

Principle : Wtf was that

The principle picks up M/n notebook and looks up and see everyone arguing about what to throw out the window to get his attention that they stuck in the school

Principle : Well let me get them out of there 😑

The principle unlocked the door then walked to the classroom they are in and opened the door

Principle : Get the fuck out 😑

Jungkook: were free

Jimin: thank you so much for coming back

Taehyung : .....

M/n: Fuck this shit I'm out mhmm fuck this shit out

And Everyone when home except M/n and BTS who when to eat

M/n : wait a minute were is my fucking notebook ?

Hoseok : The principle kept it 😅

M/n: my essay was in there now i'm have to write it all over again

Jimin : or you could go see the principle when school is back on Monday so you can get your essay

M/n: there were more then just my essay in that notebook guys remember my how to get away with murder plan

Yoongi : your one way to get money without working plan as well

Taehyung : and your how to be a high class stripper plan

M/n : hey hey that plan worked and yall know it

Jin : yeah it did but those plans can get you suspended or land you in jail

M/n : i'm go cry in a corner now 😢 😭

Jimin hugs M/n : its ok we'll sneak in and get the book back

Namjoon: how we have no idea where the principle live?

M/n : actually I do 😅

Hoseok : how do you know where the principle live

M/n : that's a long story I need something to get of trouble and I was walking home back from the park and noticed the principle in a house with a cheerleader outfit on and heels while dancing and singing along to Milkshake so i recorded it just in case I get in trouble and to black mail him when I do get in trouble

Taehyung : Wow just use that video to get your notebook back Monday

Taehyung has signed off

M/n : that's the plan see ya Monday guys

M/n has signed off

Jimin has signed off

Jin has signed off

Jungkook has signed off

Namjoon has signed off

Hoseok has signed off

Taehyung has signed out

Yoongi has signed out

#kpop male reader #ot7 x reader #bts x male reader

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lover-of-skellies · 4 years

Text

Writing Masterlist

since this is starting to get longer and longer, I figured I’d put a cut, just to save everyone some time when scrolling through my crap here :P

My other blogs, for anyone who'd like to know where else they can find me on this hellsite: @ohgodallthefandoms-backup (my main), @zlamina (only animal stuff), @skelesinners-r-us (my nsfw skeleton jester/daycare attendant blog), @ask-the-riders (an ask blog for the riders of the apocalypse), @skellies-art (the place where I put all my doodles), @pareidolia-artprompts (a random art prompt blog where I post visual art prompts), and @radical-superstar-daycare (a special blog I made for Daycare Attendant!Fresh, Sonnie (Sundrop!Conquest), and Lunar (Moondrop!Retribution). The newest addition to my blogs is @tsams-and-co-memes, where I post TSBS memes

Pareidolia-artprompts, ask-the-riders, and radical-superstar-daycare are on a hiatus of sorts rn. Just a heads up, ig

Link to my AO3 here

Link to my Redbubble here

Link to my Ko-Fi here

AU Skeleton Nickname Master List here

FreshDex link here

Choose Your Own Path routes

Start

Handshake

Baby Ducks

Continue Walking

Fight

Rock

One Last Attempt

Choose Your Own Path 2/CYOP2 routes

Start

Walk a little faster

Unlikely Circumstances

Unlikely Circumstances (Part 1)

Unlikely Circumstances (Part 2)

Nep/Gill/Betta Related

In Deep Water

Betta x Reader ("face reality" prompt)

The Union

Congrats, You're a Dad!

UnderFell/MafiaFell(/MobFell) Related

To The Moon and Back (UF!Sans x Reader)

Light In The Dark (UF!Sans x Nyctophobic!Reader)

Family Secrets

Necro/NecroTale Related

Necro's story (part 1 of ???)

Touch starved (w/Necro)

Red Velvet (a father's day scenario w/Mal and Necro)

My Glitchy Daughter

Nightmares

HorrorTale Related

You Should Be

Distractions (HT!Sans x Reader fluff that very quickly becomes suggestive)

Eat You Up ("hunted down" horror prompt w/HT!Sans)

Marked

Nightmare/Bad Sanses Related

Alone (Nightmare x Reader (kinda sorta))

Nightmare's Puppets

A Way Out

Mother Void

Locked up and left behind (w/Nightmare and Mal)

Mistake/Accident prompt w/Cross and Error (comic)

No Strings On Me (puppeteer prompt w/Error and Nightmare

Little Hellion (Dadmare & baby Nyx)

Sleep Paralysis horror prompt w/ Sleep Paralysis!Nightmare

Abyss (Sleep Paralysis!Nightmare prompt continuation)

Overgrown - prompt w/Nightmare

Comfort food - prompt w/Horror

Rampage - prompt w/Nightmare

Fear of the Dark (Figment!Killer blurb)

I Am Dust And Shadow (Figment!Dust blurb)

Dream/Star Sanses Related

Locked up and left behind (w/Blueberry)

The birth of Yanberry (horror/angst prompt w/Shattered Dream and Blueberry)

Template (and eventually Pale) Related

Template's Offer

Spider Donuts and Scarves (a father's day scenario w/Mal and Template)

Mal Related

Mal to the Rescue/Error Gets Vibe Checked

Mal's New Attack

Mal and Geno - family fluff

Mal's Great Escape

The origin of a name (contains TWs)

And Then There Was One

Mal discovers she's pregnant

Mal meets herself

Ships

A Life Worth Living (CrossMare fluff prompt)

Cause of Death: Love (NightBerry angst)

Greatly Disappointed (NightKiller angst)

Slammed into a wall (w/ErrInk)

"Hang on, hang on, we're gonna fall off the bed/couch-" (fluff prompt w/ErrInk)

Mine ("til death do us part" prompt w/Dark Cream)

Never Speak To Strangers

Start

Check Other Windows

Risky Business

Start

Sure, but we need to make it fast - route

Apologize - route

Try the front door of the facility - route

Use the vent - route

Go into the daycare attendant’s room - route

Other Characters

Forum Deals With Flirting

Kisses, cuddles, and cocoa (UT!Papyrus x Reader)

Paps' Nightmare

That's how much I love you (Yandere US!Papyrus x Reader)

That's how much I love you [part 2] (Yandere US!Papyrus x Reader x Yandere US!Sans)

Info masterlist on my characters

Reasons To Not Mess With Mal or Betta

Kiss prompt masterlist

Headcanon voices/audio edits/voice claims masterlist

Little Thief (NOT AN UTAU FIC)

One Fear (NOT AN UTAU FIC)

Here's a link to my nsfw smutfic masterlist, if you're at all into reading stuff of that nature

And here's the link that'll take you to a masterlist of stuff for the riders of the apocalypse :P it's both an info masterlist and a writing masterlist rolled into one, so ye

EDIT: if you have something you'd like me to write, feel free to send me an ask :) I'm not at all judgmental and I'll write just about anything. I'm even willing to take smut requests as well, if that's more your cup of tea :P (request smut stuff here -> @skelesinners-r-us)

((If any of the links don't work or take you somewhere other than where they're supposed to, let me know!))

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

Conversation

RP Meme Lines from "AHS: Coven" Episode 13: "The Seven Wonders"

I've chosen caviar from the Caspian Sea served on blinis along with champagne as fitting stand-ins as we partake of our own last supper.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I understood like a child, I thought like a child. But when I became a woman, I put aside childish things.

Put aside fears, reservations and petty things.

Kick ass tomorrow.

What if I can't do it?

Almost sounds like you want it.

Commonly only known to the public as mind control. It's a tricky little craft. When properly exercised, can bend the strongest of wills to your desire.

Nobody controls my mind but me.

Knock it off!

Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Well done.

I'm not done.

Now, lick it.

That's enough. Let's move on.

Having fun yet?

If your soul hasn't returned to your body by sunup, you'll die.

You're the first to return.

It was horrible. I was stuck on a network musical. It was a live version of The Sound of Music. I wasn't even the lead.

I'm right here, it's okay.

Freak. You're a freak.

No, I don't wanna kill a living thing.

No, you can't make me kill a living thing.

We have to help her.

There's nothing we can do.

Follow my voice.

You're a stone-cold bitch.

When you play with fire, you get burned.

Tag, you're it.

Gotcha. No tag-backs.

Can't we just have a little fun?

Suck it. Ha-ha-ha!

Nothing's happening.

What's "deserve" got to do with any of this?

So either crown me or kiss my ass.

I can feel all their eyes on me.

Maybe we deserve to die out.

Why did you leave me? You said you'd never leave me

My mother was always right.

How true is it that a prophet is never recognized in his own country?

Well, I guess it's different when it's your own family.

You have royal blood in your veins.

I was a fool not to have realized it earlier, seeking all this time in the dust for that which may have been right before us all along.

You must let it out.

I'd stake your life on it.

I'm not stupid.

Are you ready?

What did you see?

This thing started as a competition. I say we end it like one.

Divination. Let's rock.

This is stupid. I'm not doing it.

Let me show you real power.

Divination first.

We're doing this by the book.

I'm sick of your book.

I have so many powers, I could tear this room apart until there's nothing left but your little trinkets, but, no, I have to do this bullshit.

There's something in the thing.

Because the game is rigged, [NAME]. Wake up.

You would accuse us of chicanery?

I didn't even wanna come here.

I'm going back to Hollywood where people are normal.

I suggest you change the locks, because when I tell TMZ everything it won't be long before torches, pitchforks, and Molotov cocktails become a real big part of your day.

Peace out!

What do you want, dumb-ass?

You let her die.

Why did you let her die?

You know that dark place! We've both been there!

I did it for us.

You're not that good an actress.

No one will wonder where the body went once we bury her.

Since your extraordinary public statement last month there has been quite a bit of fanfare.

We are not a cult. We don't proselytize. We have no agenda. We're not recruiting.

Women who identify as witches are born as such and their abilities, which we call powers are part of who they are, part of their DNA, if you will.

So in fact, you're saying that it's not a choice, being a witch.

There are so many young witches who have resisted their calling because they're afraid of how they may be perceived, or what's expected of them.

But you know, when you hide in the shadows, you are less visible, you have less protection.

We'll always be targets for the ignorant. It is what it is.

There is a home and a family waiting for you.

I'm so proud of you.

Start by telling them that being an authority figure requires you to make hard, unpopular decisions for the greater good.

Your tasteful modesty is out of fashion, so knock it off.

Thanks to you, we're entering a new era.

You've planted the seeds but in order to reap their harvest, you have to clear the rot of the past.

I love your metaphors, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm not suggesting. I'm insisting.

You want to be burned at the stake?

At the start of your glorious reign the last thing you need is an ABSCAM or Watergate.

I killed and I must pay for it.

I didn't hear this.

I've made many painful mistakes in my life. I want my death to have some meaning.

Stiff upper lip, my dear.

You cannot be a hypocrite. I won't stand for it.

Any last words?

Balenciaga!

I'm excited. I wanna get in there and show what I can do.

You gotta check this shit out. Line's around the block.

We'll buy more houses if we have to.

I got your back.

Should we open the doors now?

There's just one more thing I need to deal with.

I saw you die.

You men, with your fragile egos.

We still have a deal, babe.

I'm going to Paris for just a couple days.

Why? Why would she decide to do that?

I mean, it won't be pleasant for you. But if you do it right, I promise you the world.

I'm gonna put something inside you.

What happens when I wake up from this vision?

If you're gonna offer me your spit, I'll take it straight from the spigot.

I ruined a perfectly good pair of Jimmy Chaos.

I knew you'd get rid of him for me, once he served his purpose.

Whose blood was it?

I never killed anybody. Not yet.

That was the plan. Let you do the dirty work.

You didn't come here to kill me.

You were hoping I'd put you out of your misery, but I don't need to. You're close. I doubt you'll make it through the night.

Is that why you were always so awful to me? Because you knew I was going to take your power some day?

A woman becomes a mother, she can't help but see her mortality in that cherubic little face.

Every time I looked at you, I saw my own death.

You were a constant reminder of my worst fears.

Oh, and all this time, I thought you just didn't like me.

It was nothing personal, darling.

I loved you plenty, though. Just my own way. Which, I'll admit, had its limitations.

I can feel the power vibrating off of you.

It feels good, doesn't it?

I have to die for you to truly live.

I'm not crying over you. I'm crying for me.

You were the monster in every one of my closets.

A lifetime spent either trying to prove myself to you, get close to you, or get away from you.

God knows you'll do a better job of it than I ever did though you won't look half as good doing it.

For God's sake, have mercy on me. Put me out of my misery. I hurt everywhere.

You're scared, maybe for the first time in your life.

You have to do this alone. And the only way out is through. So feel the fear and the pain. Let it all in and then let it all go.

I don't think we ever hugged.

You're up. I hope you're hungry.

Oh, get those goddamn things out of my face.

Why you always gotta be like this?

I'm tired of fighting.

How long have we been here?

If you want a stiff one, come over here.

Don't be vulgar.

Maybe you ought to lay off the sauce for a while.

Drink in the fresh air.

I can't spend eternity here.

This place it reeks of fish and cat piss.

I'm in heaven.

All right, let's open the doors.

We survived. Up until now, that's all we've done.

I know together we can do more than survive. It's our time to thrive.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #ahs #ahs coven

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