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freddiekluger · 3 years

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Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit.

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad?

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on).

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans.

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious.

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive.

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman.

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend????

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t.

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

#i subluxed all my fingers and wrists doing this but worth it #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #bbc ghosts analysis #the captain #caphavers #the captain x havers #ben willbond #lgbt representation #lgbt rep #queer media #lgbt media

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osferth · 3 years

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nainowale ne || part two

chapter summary: The two girls are older now, which only means one thing for Aethelflaed: marriage. But marriage does not bring the happiness she has been seeking.

word count: 4.4k

tagging: @marv-llous @lauwrite1225 @maggiescarborough @volvaaslaug @wildwren @aadmelioraa @emilyhufflepufftlk @for-bebbanburg @poguesmaybank @cheerylogan @northumbria @geekandbooknerd @morosemagick

part one

The first time Estrid met Uhtred was not until two weeks later, where she happened to come across him at the exact moment he stormed out of the doors of the court. He had nearly barrelled into her in his haste to leave.

“Sorry, Lord,” Estrid said quickly, moving out of the way. She had improved a lot in remembering the terms she needed to use, much to Gytha’s delight. Uhtred paused suddenly upon hearing her accent. They both frowned at each other at the same time.

“You are not a Saxon, are you?” Uhtred asked, crouching down to meet her level.

Estrid shook her head. “You must be Uhtred,” she said. “Aethelflaed told me about you. Were you fighting with the king again?”

The initial anger on his face dissolved and he grinned at the lack of tact one would come to expect from a ten-year-old. “I wonder what you’ve been told about me,” he said. “I was not arguing with the king, no.”

“Then who was shouting in there?” the girl asked, pointing at the door. “I heard someone speaking Danish too, but I don’t think I’m allowed to say what it was.”

Uhtred laughed. “Alright, yes,” he said. “From one Dane to another, that is exactly what happened. It seems you’ve had more success with the Saxons than I have.”

Estrid scowled suddenly. “I mean, I love being Aethelflaed’s friend,” she said, “but everyone else wants me to be baptised. I don’t want to be a Christian! They’re too holy and they think they’re better than everyone else because they are always kneeling and praying somewhere. It sounds boring and stupid and I won’t do it.”

Uhtred tapped her shoulder. “They made me get baptised too,” he told her in a confidential whisper, “and yet I am still a Dane. I don’t pray to their nailed god, nor do I attend church. I think I would set on fire if I ever stepped foot inside one.”

Estrid giggled. “I think I would, too,” she admitted. “But you’re a grown-up warrior. I’m only ten, Gytha will just make me go to church. I think I would rather go to Hel.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Uhtred said enigmatically, standing up. “Gytha is who, a maid?”

“The scary one, yes,” Estrid said. “You’ll speak to her?” she added hopefully.

Uhtred nodded. “Something like that, yes. Take care of yourself, Estrid.”

Estrid smiled and waved as he left. There was a new spring in her step as she made her way to the garden, ready to meet Aethelflaed and tell her everything.

---------------------------------------------------

When Estrid returned to her quarters that evening, she found a very distressed Gytha meeting her at the door. She appeared quite red-faced and flustered.

“Have you been speaking to Uhtred?” she asked immediately. “He said you have not met him, but I can never fully trust a heathen-”

“Who is Uhtred?” Estrid asked as innocently as possible. Stifling her grin proved to be very difficult, even more so when Gytha threw her hands up in the air.

“He warned me against having you ‘dragged’ to church each week once you are baptised,” she exclaimed. “That you are a Dane at heart and it would be wrong to change that.”

“Oh,” Estrid said, taking off her boots. Her hair covered her face and she allowed herself to smirk in the few seconds before she straightened up, a look of pure concern on her face. “What did you say?”

“I told him I’d try my best,” she muttered, and Estrid’s eyes widened. “It was an honest answer! Do not think you’ve completely gotten away with not attending church, young lady, I will make sure you see the inside of it one day, even if you set on fire upon entering.”

“Funny, Uhtred said the same thing,” Estrid said absent-mindedly. Only an incredulous noise from Gytha prompted Estrid to realise her slip, and she quickly scampered off before Gytha could catch her.

---------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, despite her best efforts, Estrid was baptised upon the orders of King Alfred not too long after. At Gytha’s request, it was a private affair, unlike Uhtred’s - according to him, it had been incredibly public. Estrid had supposed the ‘conversion’ of a Dane warrior warranted more of a spectacle than a child’s. In any case, she still called herself a Dane. The baptism did nothing to change her beliefs, a fact Gytha had been forced to come to terms with quite quickly.

Her relationship with Gytha continued to improve over the next few years. By the time Estrid was seventeen, their bond was almost that of a mother and a daughter. Gytha was still as strict as ever, but even she would not be loath to admit that Estrid’s behaviour - in her eyes, at least - had improved solidly under her guidance. Becoming Aethelflaed’s maid the previous year had been a major step for Estrid, though she had already started taking over some of Gytha’s duties earlier on than that.

Estrid’s friendship with Aethelflaed had only grown stronger. Anyone would say that Aethelflaed had matured into a beautiful, vivacious young woman, though she and Estrid were still as thick as thieves. They were hardly seen without each other, something the queen was persuaded into believing as a good thing - Estrid was no longer the wild child they had brought in six years ago, and with Aethelflaed’s influence she would continue to mature and grow in the same way.

Along with that was the very good appearance of piety that Estrid kept up around her and the king, of course.

A meeting with representatives from Mercia, along with Lord Ceowulf himself, ended in tragedy - or hilarity if your name was Aethelwold - when Ceowulf suddenly died halfway through. Estrid had been standing in the corner, watching all of it take place with mild interest. She attempted to make eye contact with Aethelflaed, but found her attention elsewhere.

Estrid followed her gaze across the room to Lord Aethelred, the young man that had accompanied the king of Mercia to Winchester. From what she understood, Ceowulf’s death would now make him the lord of Mercia, but she did not care about that. There was a sharp pang in her chest all of a sudden, and she realised she was glowering at Aethelred. Although he had not even spared a glance towards her, already the Dane did not like him.

It seemed Aethelflaed did, though.

After the chaos of the meeting, Estrid caught up to Aethelflaed. “I saw you making eyes at Lord Aethelred,” she said in a low voice, smiling to cover her irritation. She was unsure why she was beginning to detest Aethelred already, but she was certain that her mind would not change. Although she usually trusted her instincts, she decided to ignore them in favour of Aethelflaed’s happiness.

“I was not doing anything of the sort,” Aethelflaed denied at once.

“Of course not,” Estrid said, “and I am a Saxon.”

The shove she received a second later did not surprise her.

“I was just looking at him,” Aethelflaed added defensively. “There is no harm in that.”

“I never said there was,” Estrid countered. “Look, I know that you like the look of him. And now that he is to be the lord of Mercia, he has risen in standing even more. I know your mother likes him too,” she added.

Aethelflaed’s eyes widened. “She does? How can you tell?”

Estrid did not want to answer that. Already she felt as though she had said too much, but she felt obliged to speak. “I saw her looking at you… while you were looking at Aethelred. She certainly looked approving.”

The smile on Aethelflaed’s face almost made it worth it. “I am glad,” she said after a moment.

“But don’t you realise what that means?” Estrid asked. “You are of age now, you know. They will want you married. And he is the perfect match, especially after what happened today with that old fart.”

“Estrid!” Aethelflaed exclaimed, lightly smacking her arm. The Dane grinned. “I do know that,” she continued. “And is it really so bad? Lord Aethelred seems… lovely. I wouldn’t mind getting married if it was to him.”

“I would,” Estrid muttered, all traces of her grin disappearing. “He looks like a turd.”

“Perhaps you’re just jealous,” Aethelflaed teased.

“Oh, definitely not,” Estrid said, rolling her eyes. She was certainly not jealous of Aethelflaed, at least. “There are just some faces you don’t like, Aethelflaed. His is one of them.”

“I don’t understand you, Estrid,” Aethelflaed sighed. “Is it just because he is a Saxon too?”

“Of course not,” Estrid replied. “He looks more like a Dane, if I’m honest. No, it isn’t that at all, else why would I be friends with you?”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted with a shrug. “Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps it’s just that I don’t want to see my best friend married off so soon. We won’t be able to see each other as much if he is taking up most of your time.”

Aethelflaed reached out and took her hand with a smile. “If I do end up marrying Lord Aethelred, I won’t leave you here in Winchester. You’ll come with me, and I promise I will not spend all of my time with him. I’ve known you far longer, Estrid, you know how I care for you.”

Estrid met her gaze with a little smile, though her throat felt tight. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that, Lady.”

Aethelflaed laughed then, and everything felt alright, if only for a short while.

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Estrid’s prediction was correct. She was standing behind Aethelflaed with the train of her wedding gown in hand, the lady Aelswith leading the way to show it to Alfred. Estrid’s breath had caught in her throat for a moment after Aethelflaed had put it on for the first time.

Aethelflaed looked stunning, even more so than she had thought was possible. The dress was quite simple, but the soft pinks and blues brought out the colour of her eyes and the rosiness of her cheeks.

“Do you like it?” she asked, spreading her arms slightly to show it off. Alfred appeared to agree. A rare smile broke out on his face, pride evident in his eyes.

“I have not seen anything so beautiful,” he said. Estrid silently agreed.

“Did I not say the same?” remarked Aelswith.

“I hope that Aethelred says the same,” Aethelflaed smiled. Estrid wished the same, even if it pained her to think about. She tuned out the rest of the conversation after that, her ears perking up when Aethelflaed asked whether Uhtred would be attending.

“Sadly, he will, I'm sure,” Aelswith said, her displeasure evident in her voice, and Estrid could not help but grin to herself. In doing so, she accidentally caught Alfred’s eye and immediately wiped it from her face. He was the only person other than Aethelflaed and Gytha to be aware of her friendship with Uhtred. It was only natural, given that they were both Danes, but it was better for Aelswith not to know.

“I consider him to be our lucky charm,” Aethelflaed said proudly.

“Now, now, there'll be no mention of luck or charms,” Alfred said quickly, making Estrid smile at his godliness. “There is God's will and nothing more.”

“Praise him,” added Aelswith.

Estrid remained silent until she had left the room with orders to take Aethelflaed back to her room and safely store the dress away.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be married,” Aethelflaed told her, her excitement practically bouncing off the walls. “Do you like it, Estrid? The dress?”

Estrid didn’t say anything for a moment, nearly forgetting to speak until Aethelflaed gave her a searching look. “Y-yes,” she answered quickly. “I do. You look beautiful, Aethelflaed, really. That turd won’t know what to do with himself when he sees you.”

Aethelflaed beamed at her. “I’m so glad you think so,” she said, ignoring the insult to Aethelred. “I was hoping you’d like it, I wouldn’t have chosen this one unless I’d thought you would.”

“I wonder what the queen would think of you choosing your wedding gown to please a Dane,” Estrid said, laughing in an attempt to cover the rising blush on her cheeks.

“Keep your voice down!” Aethelflaed urged her, smiling nonetheless.

“Sorry, sorry! But, I really am honoured that you were thinking of me when you chose it,” Estrid continued. “It really means a lot.”

More than Aethelflaed would ever know, she thought to herself.

---------------------------------------------------

The day of the wedding had finally arrived. Aethelflaed was a bundle of nerves, and Estrid was trying desperately to calm her down.

“Estrid, what if this is the wrong idea?” the princess asked suddenly, and the Dane sighed.

“It isn’t, I promise you,” she assured her, even if privately she, too, was incredibly anxious. That man gave her a bad feeling; he looked too nice. “You like him a lot, and he clearly likes you, too. Nothing will go wrong, I swear.”

She adjusted the flower crown on Aethelflaed’s head. It was something that Estrid had first suggested and then created herself. The women living in Estrid’s settlement had all worn crowns made of flowers weaved together on the day of their wedding, something only Aethelflaed was made aware of. The princess had loved the idea as soon as Estrid explained it to her, though she omitted the Danish influence in her own explanation to Lady Aelswith.

“There. You look incredible.”

Estrid stepped back to admire her handiwork, although the beauty of the princess kept distracting her. It was only a sigh from Aethelflaed that finally prompted her to tear her eyes away. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“What if my mother was right?” Aethelflaed said, a note of panic seeping into her voice. “We have only met briefly, after all.”

Estrid took her hand. “I saw the look he gave you, did I not?” she comforted her. “Worrying is natural before any wedding, but don’t let it hinder you. You and Aethelred… you will be perfect for each other.”

Her breath hitched for a moment as she spoke. To an outsider, it would appear to be a sign of her happiness that her closest friend was getting married to the man of her dreams, but Estrid could not be feeling any worse. The hour was drawing nearer, and as she reassured Aethelflaed, she felt her own heart pound horribly in her chest. Her throat was tight and she quickly turned to rub her eyes before Aethelflaed could notice. Estrid drew a breath before she spoke.

“Are you ready?”

Aethelflaed nodded silently, and the two of them embraced each other tightly for as long as they dared, until Estrid finally drew back and reached for the veil. She draped it over the princess’ head before stepping back to pick up the train of her gown, her eyes swimming with tears she was thankful Aethelflaed could not see.

---------------------------------------------------

Estrid was excused soon after that. She could have chosen to remain with Gytha and serve the guests at the wedding feast, but after having seen how miserable she looked, Gytha had been the one to suggest she get some fresh air. So Estrid immediately left to find Uhtred who, as it turned out, was not far from the palace. In fact she found him seated on the steps outside, together with Finan. Sihtric was a few feet away, embracing the woman he had recently been allowed to marry, and Estrid quickly averted her gaze. That was the last thing she wanted to see at that moment.

In front of them was Aethelwold, nattering away about something clearly nobody was interested in hearing. Uhtred seemed relieved to see Estrid standing there, and beckoned her down to sit next to him. “They let you go already?” he asked.

“Gytha did,” Estrid replied. “What’s that turd doing here?”

‘That turd’ scoffed. “I speak of treachery and treason-”

“Nothing important then,” Estrid said, cutting across him. From Uhtred’s other side, she heard Finan snicker.

“You don’t look happy,” Uhtred commented. Estrid shook her head, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “She is too good for him, I know it as much as you do. But you will be the first to see her tomorrow morning, don’t forget that. You will still be by her side every day after that, too.”

Estrid smiled a little. Uhtred did not know the truth of her misery, how it extended beyond just healthy concern - but then again, she hardly understood it herself. Despite that, he was right. She needed to see the positives for what they were and make the most of them, or risk letting her sadness get the better of her. Without a word, Estrid nodded. She would not have had the time to speak even if she had wanted to, for Aethelwold had resumed his incessant talk once again. Standing near him, however, was a boy she had not seen before. He, too, seemed to be attempting to get Uhtred’s attention, but Aethelwold would not be quiet.

“Excuse me, Lord Uhtred,” the boy repeated, and Estrid nudged Uhtred.

“He wants to speak to you,” she whispered. “For the love of the gods, please say something to him. If I have to hear another word from Aethelwold-”

Uhtred nodded slightly and Aethelwold finally fell silent, letting the boy speak. He introduced himself as Osferth, Leofric's nephew. Estrid had never met Leofric, but Uhtred had told her many stories of their adventures together. She knew how much he meant to the man. Aethelwold then interjected, proclaiming him as Alfred's bastard, and Estrid finally looked up. Osferth did not look much like Aethelflaed, or Alfred for that matter, but she supposed both favoured their mothers.

As Osferth told Uhtred of his intention to serve them as a warrior, just as his uncle had, Steapa appeared behind them. Apparently, Alfred wished to speak with Uhtred immediately, making Estrid wince. Whatever Uhtred had done now, she knew it could not be good. She watched him briefly tell Osferth to find him again, to which the boy beamed and thanked him, before he left to see Alfred.

Estrid did not stay for long afterwards. She stood up and asked Finan to make sure Gytha knew she had returned to her quarters if she asked.

"It'll be alright," he told her, patting her arm. "Just as Uhtred said, you'll see her soon."

Estrid exhaled and nodded, knowing both of them were right. She gave Osferth a reassuring smile before she turned and left for her quarters, willing herself not to cry.

Closing the door behind her, she sank down onto her bed and sighed. At least she could be alone with her thoughts for a while, long enough to collect them and attempt to figure out what exactly was wrong. Estrid was already not fond of the thought of Aethelflaed marrying the man Uhtred had aptly described as a ‘bread-pudding of a boy’, but she was unsure of whether it was because he had a look to him that she disliked, or whether it was simply because he was marrying Aethelflaed.

She supposed Aethelflaed had been right there. If him marrying Aethelflaed was the issue, there was still no reason for Estrid to be upset. It was not as though she would be separated from her best friend, much the opposite.

So what in the name of Odin was her problem?

Estrid had never bothered to sit down and examine her own feelings before. What was the point? She had never understood the way other girls would become so afflicted by their feelings towards the men they were surrounded by, but whenever they became the subject of a conversation, Estrid certainly did not want to feel left out. Every so often, she would search out a relatively attractive young man and force herself to harbour feelings for him, without properly understanding what she was even doing. As long as it meant she fit in, she did not mind.

One thing Estrid noticed, however, was that she had never once spoken of any of these men to Aethelflaed out of what she realised was guilt. And after spending enough time with Aethelflaed, their very names would slip her mind. None of them stood out to her enough to remember anyway, especially compared to Aethelflaed.

The girl groaned and put her face in her hands. Why did it all have to be so confusing?

---------------------------------------------------

They travelled to Mercia soon after the wedding. Gytha had been teary-eyed upon parting with Estrid, the most emotional she had ever seen the older woman. Leaving her side for the first time was the most painful goodbye of them all, even if she promised to visit as often as she could. Uhtred had wished her good luck as she got on the boat, telling her he hoped her patience would withstand Aethelred’s now-infamous temper, and Estrid had laughed.

She had hardly laughed afterwards.

Aethelflaed had been unusually quiet for the whole journey, hardly meeting her gaze. But Estrid still could not find a moment to speak with her alone, not with Aethelred hovering about.

That evening, she was back to serving food again. Estrid wished Gytha had accompanied her, for the other servants were strangers to her, and she was in no mood to befriend anyone. Silently, she refilled the jug of wine before Aethelred, not even looking up as he spoke.

“You’re eating like a little bird,” he said to Aethelflaed. “Peck, peck, peck.”

Estrid bristled at this. Aethelred could almost playfully be teasing her, if it were not for the snark in his voice.

“I have no appetite,” Aethelflaed said quietly, pushing the plate forward. There was a moment’s quiet, before Aethelred spoke up once more.

“Tomorrow we ride. I would like you to travel with me.”

“To battle?”

“Part of the way.” Aethelred took a swig from his cup. “Or would you rather not?”

“No, no, lord, I would like to go,” Aethelflaed answered quickly. She did not sound eager, but nervous. Estrid frowned from where she was standing, wondering what had happened between the wedding and now.

“Then eat,” Aethelred ordered. “For strength.”

Estrid watched Aethelflaed tentatively reach out and pick up a tiny morsel of food, eating it slowly.

“Out,” Aethelred ordered the servants suddenly. Estrid flinched, nearly spilling the jug in her hand. “All of you, out.” She quickly handed the jug to an older servant who glared disapprovingly at her before they filed out of the room. For a moment, she met Aethelflaed’s eye. The princess gave her a nervous sort of smile before Estrid was forced to keep moving. While the others went their separate ways, Estrid hung back, opening the door slightly. If she could not speak to Aethelflaed, then she would see for herself exactly what was happening.

Through the crack in the door, she watched Aethelred rise from his seat and slowly walk towards her. “You have the palest of skin,” he commented. Estrid felt her skin crawl. “Unblemished.” Reaching out, he brushed his fingers against Aethelflaed’s cheek, to which she recoiled slightly. “My touch offends you?”

“No, it was a surprise, lord, nothing more than that,” Aethelflaed said placatively. “Lord, love should be gentle and kind,” she added.

"Gentle and kind, she says,” sneered Aethelred. Estrid’s hand tightened around the handle of the door. “How is it that you have a knowledge of how love should be?”

“I do not.”

“Am I not the first?”

“You will not insult me.”

“And you will not offer me lessons on how to plough a field!” Aethelred snapped, and Estrid’s hand enclosing the handle began to shake.

“That is not what I was doing,” protested Aethelflaed, to no avail.

“Who is it that you've been with?” he demanded, growing louder by the second. “How many have you been with?”

“Lord, please...”

“Uhtred is one, is he not?”

Estrid wanted to throttle him.

“You have no right to speak to me in this way!” said Aethelflaed, her own voice rising now. Estrid shakily exhaled, glad that she was standing up for herself.

“Of course, I have a right!” Aethelred bellowed. “You are my wife!”

“I am Aethelflaed of Wessex!” she cried, abruptly standing up. “And you will not treat me like I am a servant girl!”

All of a sudden, Aethelred reached out and grabbed a fistful of her hair. “Do not,” he panted, pulling her head down until it thudded on the table, “do not... never... raise your shrill voice to me! You will see a priest and we shall find the truth of this.”

Estrid gasped without meaning to, feeling helpless as she watched him mistreat Aethelflaed. Her whimpers were quiet, but Estrid could hear them nonetheless. It took every ounce of self-control within her to not kick the door down and beat the shit from the turd who called himself the Lord of Mercia.

“This is not love, that is the truth of it,” Aethelflaed said, her voice tremulous as she sat up.

“You will see a priest!” shouted her husband. Estrid felt unable to move from where she was standing, her hand pressed tightly over her mouth, until she realised Aethelred was headed for the door. Quickly she pulled away from the door and turned the corner, pretending to be busying herself with a basket that sat nearby. He walked right past, paying her no mind.

Whatever doubts Estrid may have had about this man, they were nothing compared to what she had just seen. There was no telling what he had done to Aethelflaed the night of the wedding itself, and she certainly did not want to imagine it. Estrid had disliked Aethelred before, but now she despised him. She despised him for marrying her, for daring to think he was good enough for her, for treating her with less respect than a dog.

Aethelflaed was the Princess of Wessex, and Aethelred was unworthy of her. Estrid did not believe for a second that she was worthy either, but by the gods she vowed she would never have even thought to treat her so appallingly.

Her heart broke for Aethelflaed. The romantic dream she had harboured of a happy marriage had swiftly turned into little more than a nightmare, one that she was now trapped in forever, and all Estrid could do was watch from the sidelines, no matter how much she wanted to do something. For now, at least, everything felt hopeless.

#the last kingdom #tlk #aethelflaed #lady aethelflaed #aethelflaed of mercia #aethelflaed x oc #nainowale ne #uhtred of bebbanburg #aethelred of mercia #alfred the great #lady aelswith

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sylleblosscm · 2 years

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I have this theory, if you’ll indulge me, that Lunoct would have been a better ship and a more valuable addition to XV if they simply changed a few small aspects. Namely: they should have appropriately subverted Ardyn and Aera’s characters properly, and Luna and Noct’s engagement should have lasted longer. Imagine for me, if you will, this scenario, and tell me it’s not a million times more intense than anything they did with these two in canon:

In the game they have this kind of, “Childhood friends who are forced to marry, only they have feelings for each other probably maybe” vibe. So let’s say, for instance, something something Chosen King and his Oracle kept together for vague plot purposes, and thus, the engagement was decised upon before they were even born. (If Square won’t explain itself, neither will I.) Hence the initial visit to Tenebrae, straying beyond the safety of Insomnia. That, and the whole healer matter of course. This already shifts the focus of their relationship into a more specifically romantic lens without being outright, explicitly romantic (yet). They still have a chance to build a friendship first.

Noct has just lost his mother, is in a wheelchair, and is dealing with a lot of trauma. He’s used to people treating him like a Prince, sharing his grief, looking down at this poor, sweet, tragic boy. Well-intentioned though they may be, it’s a miserable situation for a child. Really, growing up as royalty is difficult enough without this added strain.

Fortunately, Luna understands at least that much. Rather than spending time twiddling their thumbs and sitting in big rooms, the two of them do whatever real children do when you put them together: Cause Problems On Purpose. Luna is utterly unfazed by Noct’s disability as they wreak all kinds of havoc, make all kinds of mess, and adopt several stray cats. They get to be children for a while and it’s the best.

(By the by, this would tie into changes with Luna and Regis’ relationship as well. He already has some fatherly affection for her, but this would center her as always having been a potential daughter to him. Furthermore, it would make the foundation of that affection more positive than some guilt about “letting” her get captured. She made his son smile for the first time since the worse day of his life, of course he’d die for her. Regis is, so we’re told and rarely shown, the type of man to raise Noct as his beloved child rather than future heir. This would give him grounds to believe they have a chance at happiness together. But I digress.)

The notebook is cute and I fucking love it. I just wish we saw more of it, you know? Anyways, despite liking each other very much, they’re both put off when the wedding is pulled forward for all the same plot reasons as last time. After all, they’ve not seen one another in person, what if they don’t get along as well as they do on paper? But then Insomnia is attacked, the treaty is off, and eventually Luna and Noct reunite. And no, she doesn’t die in Altissia, because the medallion says that’s stupid so we’re not going to do it.

All the while, Noctis’ perception of his fate is slowly shifting. His title has always been a site of pain for him. It indirectly took his mother, whittled away at his father’s health, and ultimately left the responsibility for the destruction of his home on his shoulders. We see him as a teenager, he’s clearly going through it, and things only get worse as mass murder tends to make happen. He doesn’t go to his own meetings, he doesn’t want the crown weighing him down.

At least to my mind, a major factor in Noct embracing his role is spending time among the people. He was a recluse when he was young, but now he’s been forced into the wild green yonder. He does some fishing, feeds a cat, realises it isn’t so bad out here. He likes his people. He wants to help them. He wants to take care of them. And he can do it, with the support of the people he loves.

Just like how Ardyn began, dedicated to his people but turning on them as he was consumed by darkness, Noct finds himself emerging from a different kind of darkness, and a newfound dedication to his people.

Now Luna. Wholly devoted to her cause, selfless, sweet Luna. Suppressing her every desire, every whim, every want and idea, sitting dutifully behind closed doors. Be it the Empire or the Gods themselves, she’s never had a say in what she does or how she does it. Truly, she genuinely wants to help others, but is never permitted to do so on her own terms. And ultimately, it leads to her destruction. Just like Aera.

So what if she did...not that. Instead, much like Noctis, she’s given the chance to experience the world. Not like her usual venturing as the Oracle, but just another person. What if she finds that same joy, and a renewed devotion? A way to help others on her own terms, in her own way, that doesn’t demand so much sacrifice? What if she chooses Noctis over the Gods?

And before you “Dawn of the Future” me please, Square has already taken so much of my money I’m living off salt and good vibes at this point.

Well, now that nobody’s forcing an arrangement of any kind of them, Noctis and Luna are free to choose their own paths. There’s still the small matter of saving the world, but they can decide how they get there on their own. Their values and beliefs, the things they cherish, where they find joy, where they find sorrow, all these things are given a chance to align. We see them grow closer as people, atop a foundation of trust, communication, and mutual respect. And then one day, of their own accord, they look at each other from across the campfire and go, “Huh. You know, I probably wouldn’t kick you out of bed. Let’s do this whole thing together.”

Or, alternatively, you could do none of that, kill off Luna before she’s had a chance to do anything, and swear it’s love. Go girl, give us nothing. But I’m not bitter.

#long post;#( fun fact: i talked about this somewhat on my main #and tumblr keeps suggesting the post to me #like it's not my own 2am brainrot rant )#⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ -- i was just in the middle of an inner monologue / ooc #⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ -- i know they’re losing & i’ll pay for my place by the ring / meta

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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 3 years

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Prompt List #9 - Historical Aus/Prompts (Requested)

@viseriyen I know your focus was more 18th century France, but I never covered that during my degree, my focus was more 19th century Britain. This has a variety of historical aus/prompts, they won’t all be relevant and I can’t guarantee their historical accuracy for France, but I hope they help, give you ideas etc.

“I can’t...you know I have no control over my marriage. I can’t even divorce him...I have nothing to hold against him.” “Then give him something to divorce you for.” “And tarnish my good name?”

AU in which character a is desperately in love with character b, but can’t divorce their husband because divorce laws make it nigh on impossible for ‘wives’ to divorce their husbands without a ‘legitimate reason’.

Intense heated love letters because we have to keep our distance and can’t do anything that would jeopardise our positions or our reputations. But, I can send you lusty love letters that you hide under your pillow instead.

Illegitimate child/unwed pregnancy and the trials of being together, loving your child together but knowing they have little standing in society and the way people treat you because of that.

Fan language AU -> https://raulersongirlstravel.com/language-of-fans/#The_Language_of_the_Fan

My parents are trying to marry me off and you're the latest person they’ve brought to show me off to and I don’t want to like you, but I kind of do. You clearly don’t want to be here anymore than me.

The smallest touch is the most intense.

You went off to war and come back after a long campaign the papers have been reporting on. You have appear gruff, mean, and cold to everyone else, but are soft with me.

The typical trope of hardened, gruff character a who melts around character b.

(19th c) I’m the town’s school teacher and you’re the gruff wanderer/traveller/cowboy/outlaw/etc. That’s come to town. You help me fix the school house and wrangle the little demons I teach.

Sweetheart trinkets, like embroidered handkerchiefs, engraved jewellery, hidden message rings, carved trinkets etc. Especially a ‘here I made this for you or I had this made for you’.

Letters that were never sent. After character a’s death the letters are found and posted to or given to character b revealing the unsaid feelings.

We compete for top spot in school in spelling, mathematics, science etc. School rivals.

Character a bathing in a river, character b awkwardly stumbling upon them all apologetic or alternatively character a bathing in a river and character b protecting them from some no good ruffians.

Horse rides; for leisure, maybe character a was stranded and has to share a horse with character b, being stuck in a carriage together.

Childhood rivals who finally see each other after years of being apart, maybe because of boarding school/finishing school or otherwise. The horrible realisation that your rival is now hot and also can keep up with you in conversation.

Those gentle kisses to the top of a hand or gentle touches between gloved hands. Gentle hands!!! Gentle kisses!! All demure and totally appropriate but with hidden meaning and heat.

Childhood friends who haven’t seen each other since they were little and are now betrothed and oh my, you’re beautiful/handsome and I am not prepared for this.

We’re betrothed but have only ever communicated through letters and this is our first ever meeting and i’m petrified you aren’t going to be the person I know through letters

Perfume scented letters, secret code, love poems, and dried flowers. Sent long distances to you with love.

Contraception catalogues and the very specific packaging of sheaths (aka early condoms) as things like pill boxes, ladies power boxes, cigarettes, etc. to hide them. Do with this as you will.

I am spinster, you are a bachelor and we have a rivalry because how dare you get paid more than me and while i’m compared to a rotten egg. Alternatively, I am spinster by choice and refuse to marry, but you are making this very very hard.

Gals being pals, boys being ‘mates’, the known cases of boarding school love between same sex couples and also we’re both spinsters/bachelours and work together in our intellectual studies and we’re totally not in love...no sireee.

Oscar Wilde had a thing working class and military kink so do with that what you will, i’m sure you could make a upperclass/working class au/couple. One’s rough, resilient, hard working, and one’s dainty, far too spoiled and brattish but they both like each other somehow.

You’re gruff and rough/snappy, rude, but I can see how sweet you are to horses, animals, kids, and I know there’s a softer side beneath all of that.

It’s my first ‘season’ and you save me from all these men/women sniffing around me trying to get my attention.

Scandalous private time i.e. we’re supposed to be chaperoned but here we are in the garden on our own together or in the woods alone or in a small corner without a chaperone and what would people say.

Character a defending character b’s honour.

You’re my second in a duel/I’m your second in a duel, please don’t die

All the duels, duelling each other, duelling for the other, defending the other’s honour etc.

You look beautiful but dear god why are there so many layers!

I just spent an hour drawing you a bath bucket by bucket because I love you, but i’m a hot mess right now as a result.

You break social convention for my comfort. I.e. something like you forgo allowing people to watch our wedding night because you want me to be comfortable or you refuse to allow some other stupid tradition that you know scares/intimidates/upsets me.

Over the top professions of love.

“I would die, without an answer to my feelings. I would die here. My breath would choke in my throat, my blood run cold, and my selfish heart stop. I cannot live without answer, without knowing whether my feelings are returned or not.”

Character a being the dotting husband/wife/partner and helping character b get out of all that ridiculous clothing so they can cuddle and sleep. Who needs maids and servants when you have a life partner.

I want a partnership, a kindred spirit, a soul mate, not a servant. You want the same thing. I am awed by this. (possibly + we’re rivals, childhood enemies etc.)

Your family don’t approve of me, and mine don’t approve of you. I wish we could simply run away, but that’s a foolish dream.

Educated woman expects man to talk about her wandering womb and how education will make her insane and barren, instead finds man actually wants to hold an intellectual conversation with her and they strike up and unexpected friendship and then love.

Character a denying themselves of character b because they don’t feel good enough or because they feel it would be selfish maybe because they’re in a war or because they can’t provide what they feel character b deserves. Character b is not here for this bullshit.

We get trapped in a small cabin in a snowstorm together wild west au.

We get trapped in any small space in any time period au

I would say we should stop having children but I love each and every one of them and I love you too. Large family AU.

We’ve just lost our child in infancy, grief, hurt/comfort.

You’re in labour and i’m terrified for you. I am not allowed in the birthing chamber and the midwife would murder me if I tried.

Alternatively, I refuse to not be present for the birth of our child and don’t care what anyone says. I'm here to support you and will be physically in the room.

You’re competing for my affections but you never had to compete because you always had them.

You do not have to duel everyone for me over the smallest slight, look now you’ve gone and hurt yourself and I suppose I’ll have to give you my favourite handkerchief to deal with it.

I am pro royalist and you are pro-republic. I should hate you, you should hate me, but god if you aren’t all consuming.

You’re one of my suitors and the gifts you bring me aren’t jewels or flowers, but books, microscopes, telescopes, knowledge. I like the way you think and seem to seem me.

I am nearly trampled by someone’s horse in the street, but you step in just in time to get me out of the way even though it puts you in danger yourself

Despite the cost of sugary treats you always turn up to my parlour with some sort of sweet and I know they’re not the cheapest.

Anything involving a copper bathtub is a vibe.

I always look for your seal on my letters. Yours is the first letter I read and the one I treasure most.

I have kept every note, every little, every little thing you’ve ever written or drawn for me.

If images inspire you you might find my other blog @theillustratedmagazine helpful. It has 20th and 19th century illustrations.

#prompt list #prompts #writing prompts #writing prompt #writing prompt list

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turtle-paced · 4 years

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GoT Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

This post is also availablle on my wordpress.

Hello and welcome to forsaken lands. The episodes of GoT that broke fans. And considering that GoT fans made it past in-universe heartbreaks like Ned Stark’s death and the Red Wedding, and major disappointments in the writers such as ‘Breaker of Chains’ and ‘Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken’, that is saying a lot.

It’s kinda fitting that the home stretch starts with a funeral, really. Good way to farewell our hopes. We’re not getting closure anywhere else in this series.

8.04 – The Last of the Starks

(2:15) When the credits said “with Iain Glen,” this is what they meant. With Iain Glen lying on a pile of sticks for two minutes.

(2:46) We do not get to hear what Dany whispers into Jorah’s dead ears, but I’m pretty certain the implication is that Dany, in her grief, is thinking on the lines of “BURN THEM ALL!”

(3:00) Because Sansa weeping over Theon’s body is…somehow less worrying? Somehow shot without the implied promises of fiery vengeance? What we’re looking at right now I think is far more ableist than sexist. The difference between Dany’s grief being portrayed as worrying and Sansa’s grief being portrayed as, you know, grief, is Dany’s family history of mental illness. Don’t get me wrong, there’ll be a heaping helping of sexism in here too, a lot of it in how Dany’s status as a female leader is linked narratively to her emotional state (“hysterical women” and all that) and written into the plot in the first damn place, but right now what attracts ominously unspoken whispering on Dany’s part and “purer” emotion on Sansa’s is connected to the parties we knowhave family members who have suffered from mental illness.

Man, imagine if they’d actually adapted the books, where Sansa’s father suffers what looks an awful lot like PTSD. Which doesn’t stop with just end-of-episode flashbacks, but affects his ongoing decision-making processes.

(3:36) Meanwhile, over in the toxic masculinity department, note who isn’t being so disgracefully emotional! The men, and the women who “aren’t like other girls.”

The show had good material to work with here. They could have shown men breaking down, portrayed as a completely reasonable reaction to the incredibly traumatic events of the previous episode. They could also have shown men struggling with the stoic performance that toxic masculinity requires, only to break down later, or question their own lack of response. You know, like several characters do in the books.

(4:31) Incidentally, it amuses me that though the words of Jon’s speech are addressing the survivors, he’s delivering the speech to the dead (and also the camera).

(6:50) Uh-oh. Dany couldn’t contain her tears as she lit a friend’s funeral pyre. Bad signs! Red flags! Red like fire.

I’m just going to dig out a relevant passage from The Curse of Chalion (spoilers for that book follow). For context, the crown princess Iselle (daughter of a woman widely regarded as mad, for further comparison’s sake) and the chancellor, Dy Jironal, are locked in a struggle over who gets power when the king dies. Iselle’s BFF recounts a relevant public event:

“Iselle is Ista’s daughter. She cannot speak of [the titular curse], lest men say she is mad, too. And use it as an excuse to seize…everything. Dy Jironal thought of it. At [the late crown prince’s] interment, he never missed a chance to pass some little comment on Iselle to any lord or provincar in earshot. If she wept, wasn’t it too extravagant; if she laughed, how odd that she should do so at her brother’s funeral; if she spoke, he whispered that she was frenetic, if she fell silent, wasn’t she grown strangely gloomy? And you could just watch men began to see what he told them they were seeing, whether it was there or not. Toward the end of his visit there, he even said such things in her hearing, to see if he could frighten and enrage her, and then accuse her of becoming an unbalanced virago.”

If Dany cries she’s unbalanced. If she hides her emotion she’s unempathetic. If she gets angry, she’s insane. The difference isn’t in the reaction (as already noted, we’ve got other characters openly grieving and other characters hiding their emotions), but in how, whether, and when the reaction is portrayed to the audience. In The Curse of Chalion there is a named antagonist doing that spin; here, the camera, the viewer’s PoV access to the story, is pulling exactly the same trick as it checks in with Dany’s emotional state to highlight the “out-of-place” emotions. Even the frequency of these check-ins affects the portrayal – as the viewer is treated to each and every fluctuation in Dany’s mood, her emotional state appears less constant than those of characters where we don’t get a reaction shot every time a traumatic thought crosses her mind/she schools her reaction/something mildly irritates her.

This phenomenon is not isolated to this scene. It’s been happening all season. It’s going to keep happening.

(7:50) I do not get the mood of this scene. Tonally, it feels more awkward/ordinary than full of grief, with none of the wild “glad to be alive” mood until a named character prompts it later on. The background characters often do not appear to exist independently of the main characters. It’s just these little things that chip away at suspension of disbelief. In this case, a general feeling like this fictional world is populated by named characters and department store mannequins only, not people.

(9:24) “So who’s lord of Storm’s End now?” Funny question. Strange that nobody’s asked that in the last few seasons. While we’re at it, who’s the Lady of Casterly Rock?

(10:42) Nor do I get Tyrion’s tone as he observes that Gendry’s going to be loyal to Dany due to this appointment. I mean…yes? That was the point? As Cersei shows us in AFFC, appointments for surface level loyalty don’t cut the mustard, but at the same time, Tyrion’s not being cynical and sardonic about Gendry’s competence.

(11:29) Davos here has a heart-to-heart about his complicated feelings towards a woman who engineered the death of a child he loved very much. To Tyrion. Who engineered the death of a child Davos also presumably loved very much. Davos’ interactions with Tyrion regularly go beyond a man who’s bottling up the death of his child for the sake of a political goal he genuinely believes will better the lives of more than just him, and into the realms of real emotional intimacy and friendship. I swear the writers forgot about this.

(13:12) Just from a writing standpoint, that line, “I don’t really want anymore,” really gets my goat. Oh, Bran just doesn’t have any motivations anymore, no biggie. Now the only thing that I the viewer want for this character is for him to start wanting things again.

(13:24) “Mostly I live in the past.” Yes truly this is an excellent trait for a temporal ruler.

(14:31) Here we have the unintentional call-back to season one, wherein information that the characters in-universe find distressing is revealed via the now-rather-clumsy mechanism of a drinking game. Book!Brienne’s status as an only child is a little sensitive for her.

(15:07) Tormund’s praise of Jon here is also pretty clumsy writing. It’s hard to praise Jon’s actions in that climactic battle because, well, he rode on a dragon and fried wights for about thirty seconds, and that’s it.

It’s also hard to see praise for Jon without corresponding praise for Dany as anything but sexism, because Dany was also riding on a dragon and frying lots of wights, and they’re her dragons. Played as in-universe sexism, this could have been a good source of material too, highlighting how Jon’s gender results in him getting more praise for equal (or lesser) work. Left unexamined it becomes part of a sexist narrative, an example of how Jon’s gender results in him getting more praise for equal (or lesser) work.

(15:21) No, don’t mention that Jon got killed and brought back! Don’t! It just raises the question of why!

(15:40) Notice how we keep getting the Dany reaction shot? Yeah. Isn’t the fact that Dany has emotional reactions weird?

The dialogue makes this worse. “What kind of person rides on a fucking dragon? A madman or a king!” Did…did they not realise the depths to this comment? The context? I mean, clearly, this is another hint that Dany’s going ~crazy~. On account of how she cannot be a king. The context of Dany’s gender. The gendered language used here. The minimisation of Dany’s accomplishments. How did the writers think this would come across, if not some fairly blatant sexism?

(16:04) This is the third Dany check-in regarding her unhappiness at a fairly miserable party. This one is extra special because the very observant and knowledgeable Varys is apparently thinking, “hang on, she’s not happy, and it’s a party! This couldn’t possibly have anything to do with listening to her boyfriend praised to the skies for things she did first and/or in parallel, immediately after losing a close friend and fighting in a very scary battle. She must be going crazy.”

Also there is spooky music and the shot choice emphasises that Dany isn’t hanging out with anyone at this party. This is far more worrying than Bran not emotionally engaging with anyone at this party thus far or Sansa not hanging out with anyone at this party thus far or Varys not hanging out with anyone at this party thus far, or Sandor drinking heavily at this party while snapping at people who come near him thus far or Arya not even attending this party. Double standard? What double standard?

(16:51) Tyrion’s marriage prior to Sansa is here brought up as a joke. There’s a joke in here all right. I call it ‘continuity’.

(17:14) Oh, my, how shocking, Brienne’s a virgin. In this world where noblewomen having premarital sex is frowned upon, Brienne not having premarital sex is unthinkable and something that the rules of drinking games say she should be embarrassed by. Wtf?

(18:36) I’m as sick of the “Pod has a magic cock” joke as the next person but frankly, they didn’t beat us over the head with detailed stories or lurid jokes about Pod’s sexual prowess, and someone should have a nice time here in season eight.

(19:56) Oh boy. Reunion between Sansa and Sandor, when these two haven’t interacted for six seasons, and what interaction they had was seriously watered down. Thematically watered down, that is. In the books, Sansa did something Sandor believed was impossible – held on to her idealism and kindness throughout horrible experiences. He was the one who learned more from their interactions. Sandor was not serving as an author avatar, but rather being depicted as a man lashing out with cynicism and nihilism as a defence mechanism.

The show didn’t appreciate that back in season two and it’s sure not going to start now. We’re about to hear some real awful stuff.

(20:10) “Heard you were broken in. Heard you were broken in rough.” 1) Why should we like this character? He’s an asshole! Not just gruff, an asshole. 2) Why is everyone an asshole to Sansa about her rape? Of all the things to be an asshole about. We got it long ago. This world is dark and gritty.

(20:15) Note that Sansa executing someone by setting dogs on them is not depicted as a worrying sign of her mental stability or lack thereof, nor as a lack of empathy, but as justice.

(20:52) “Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a little bird all my life.” Okay! Wow! What a line!

What the writers think they’re saying: Sansa has overcome adversity and become a stronger person for it.

What the context of the entire series adds to this message: Sansa needed to be raped in order to become stronger. “Becoming stronger” here meaning “someone who relishes retributive violence,” as if there is no other form of strength, and as if the capacity for retributive violence is necessarily a sign of strength. The person she was before, who comforted others in their time of need and stuck her neck out to help, was stupid, naive, and weak. There is something deeply wrong with retaining qualities such as idealism. Sansa had to shed those qualities. Rape was the way to do it.

So, in short, gross.

(21:30) This is…definitely some archery safety.

(21:42) We got that? Arya is celebrating by standing out in the cold, rejecting social activity, and continuing to practice with deadly weapons (nearly killing a friend as she does, good work!). But there’s nothing to worry about in terms of Arya’s psyche here. The difference is the family history of mental illness.

(22:54) Begin the ship-sinking! Anchors a-smash! This is one of two relationships this episode which work out well until nah. For reasons. Ultimately, I don’t think the writers had a clear vision of what Arya was and what Arya wanted, instead defining the character by what she was not. She’s not a lady. Okay. What does that mean? Does that observation bring us any closer to learning what Arya does want from her life?

Aside from Not Gendry, anyhow. Man. Hope nobody was invested in that ship, because that was quite the abrupt sinking.

(24:56) Now the show remembers that Jaime has trouble with things like laces when he’s only got one hand.

(26:07) Hope nobody’s invested in this ship either! More on Jaime/Brienne soon. Let’s just keep the pattern in mind for the moment. Long-teased relationship culminates only to fall apart almost immediately because reasons.

(27:22) While we’re on the general theme of romance. The deterioration of Jon and Dany’s relationship is dragged over a longer period than the other sunk ships this season, but the reasons for that relationship failure aren’t well explicated. In large part because Jon never has the opportunity to really go into the identity crisis that the parentage reveal resulted in (note that the info that he was seriously shaken about the idea that he was sleeping with his aunt came from the showrunners, not the text). Jon’s silence throughout episode two was a good idea, in the context of building up to an eventual resolution. Only the writers kinda forgot that such a huge reveal might need a resolution.

(28:24) Continuing the thread that what tips Dany over the edge is rejection. Yes! We are really doing this! She is a woman scorned! Goodbye seasons of discussion about whether the ends justify the means. Goodbye seasons of dealing with various setbacks, developing opinions of her own, and earning respect. We’re reducing it all down to “nobody likes Dany, she feels entitled to their love, and now she is angry.”

Incidentally, why haven’t people softened towards Dany? Who was, after all, riding on a dragon just like Jon, and saving a lot of lives? We’ll get to that in a few scenes.

(28:39) Again, the fact that Dany gets angry and emotional about the prospect of losing her claim in Westeros is part of the depiction of a general downward trend in sanity and upward tendency to assume her power as an inherent moral good.

The problem here is that a) Dany’s not wrong that Jon poses a political threat to her, whether either of them like it or not, and b) this character’s arc shows some good sound reasons for wanting power – to protect her own agency, at the very least, to say nothing of her broader politics. If Dany was forced to concede the throne, her ability to decide what she does with her own life is sharply reduced. Her ability to achieve what she wants to do in the world (things like ending slavery and oppression) is sharply reduced.

In short, this is a scene and a situation where getting angry and upset is an entirely reasonable reaction. At best, this doesn’t work to depict a character with declining mental stability. At worst (and I believe worst), the very fact that a woman has emotions is being turned into part of a narrative where her emotions render her unsuitable to do things such as provide a reliable perspective or wield any form of power.

(29:27) I’m actually sympathetic to Jon’s desire to be open about his parentage with his sisters. Again, there’s still good material here! Jon’s reasonable personal desire to not keep secrets relating to their family from his sisters vs Dany’s also reasonable political concern that the more people who know, the less controllable the information is, the more dangerous it is. That’s a real conflict! I’d like to watch more along those lines!

(30:15) The narrative of Dany’s “hysteria” is advanced by focusing disproportionately on her emotional reaction the dilemma, without an equal and counterbalancing focus on Jon’s side of the problem. Through this conversation, Jon’s offered simple rebuttals to more complex statements from Dany. I owe my siblings the truth. Sansa won’t plot against us. The truth will not destroy us. You are my queen and nothing will change that. What’s missing here is any sort of explanation as to why Jon believes these things. The lack of explanation leaves Jon’s character underdeveloped and shifts disproportionate focus to Dany’s reasoning and motivations.

(31:09) So just to put a percentage on it, in flying north to aid Jon and save the north, Dany sacrificed a full 50% of her troops. Half the northerners were killed too, but I don’t think it’s a very controversial argument that without Dany’s aid, 100% of the northerners would have been killed. Also 100% of the non-combatants.

(31:27) Meanwhile, it’s made clear that as a result of Dany’s assistance, she’s taken a serious hit to her ability to take the Iron Throne. Note the mention of the Greyjoy fleet.

(31:37) “When the people find out what we have done for them – “ “Cersei will make sure they don’t believe it.” So…working out a propaganda strategy isn’t worth it? The woman who catapulted barrels of broken chains into Meereen to prove to its slave population that she was the real deal, something she did not do in the books, is out of ideas to counter the narrative? Dany kinda forgot that she successfully conquered three cities already. Not for the first time.

This is a fault with the writing. The writers are jamming square character pegs into round plot holes. These scenes pay lip service to the problems the characters come across, and dismiss those problems either out of hand, or as completely insurmountable and not worth bothering with.

(31:56) “Thankfully, Cersei is losing allies by the day.” Footage not found. Footage to the contraryfound, as Varys plonks down quite a few more new tokens on Cersei’s side of the map table. There’s no good reason for it, but there we are.

(32:24) Give the smallfolk the opportunity, and they will cast Cersei aside? There are a few problems with this.

1. It’s exactly what Tyrion proposed last season. How’s the strategy working out? A reevaluation may be called for here.

2. As someone who lived through food riots in a city under siege, Tyrion should be well aware of the human costs of starvation in a medieval urban area. This is not the mythical “humane option.”

3. This still doesn’t address the fact that Cersei is demonstrably willing to blow up whoever’s in her way, and a slow siege gives her more opportunity and motivation to burn down her own holdings just to deny them to Dany.

4. Why the fuck haven’t the smallfolk rebelled already, given that Cersei blew up the Vatican? If they are not going to rebel over that, what are they going to rebel over?

(32:52) Speaking of lip service! Sansa’s concerns here that the armies are exhausted would (and should!) be a valid and important objection to the wisdom of Dany’s plans. But we never see any evidence later that the troops are over-tired. Or underfed. Sansa’s insights don’t mean anything. And this is poor writing for her.

(33:02) Sansa’s proposed solution is an indefinite break. She came to the meetings without the details about how long a break might be appropriate. Keep in mind who’s been the most vocal about saying ‘we don’t have enough food.’ I think on context it’s fairly reasonable for Dany to suspect this is Sansa trying to get out of assisting at King’s Landing (and we’ll see shortly afterwards that she really does want to get out of assisting at King’s Landing). Likewise, the rebuttal that regrouping gives time for Cersei to dig in is another fairly reasonable argument.

But from Sansa’s comments, apparently this is Dany not caring about the wellbeing of her own troops.

(34:59) Now we get into it! Why are the Stark sisters so dead set against Dany, despite the assistance she’s provided?

(35:34) And the answer is xenophobia! “She’s not one of us.” Arya and Sansa do not trust Dany because “she’s not one of us.” No amount of assistance or heroism can overcome this fundamental barrier. It is bigotry. Not to mention it’s also pretty much identical to the Lannister ethos of “fuck everyone who isn’t us.”

Again, how did the showrunners think this would come across, when the Starks proposed treating Dany with “screw you got mine”? How did they think it would look for the Starks to accept the benefits of Dany’s assistance only to try and back out and treat her with rudeness and hostility when she wanted their help in return? How did they think it would look to have the reason for this rudeness and hostility be “she’s not one of us”? The Starks here look like absolute assholes. Worse, this reaction can be extrapolated to the North at large.

(35:41) Complete with some poor adaptation of Arya, who doesn’t need allies and apparently doesn’t care for friends either.

(36:21) So Jon decides to reveal everything to his siblings. This devastating family secret which should have to force every Stark to reevaluate what they knew about Ned and what they thought about Ned’s treatment of their mother and brother. This is a doozy of a secret. Let’s see some reactions.

(37:15) – a cut? What the fuck? We cut away from that? Why! Why would you do this! Why would any writer in their right mind and possessed of their dramatic sensibilities cut away from the moment two of our major PoV characters discover their father’s greatest secret, in the context of renegotiating high level political relationships?

(38:09) Bronn’s presence here is insult to injury. Not only did we cut away from what by rights should have been one hell of a reveal, we cut to a scene with a character who’s just here for the fanservice. It has been a very long time since Bronn was plot-relevant or theme-relevant. His presence here, in fact, just highlights the plotholes of his involvement in previous seasons. I mean why, for the love of all that is well-written, would this character continue to play along with the jackasses who’ve promised huge payoffs and never delivered?

…aaaaaaaand now that I write it, I see it. We are all Bronn here. Right up until he gets his fucking payoff, and we the audience do not.

(40:40) Ah yes, more homophobia which is somehow not problematic when a funny character says it.

(41:26) So now that that scene is over, what did it do? The answer is “very little.” It provides an explanation of how Bronn’s Lord of Highgarden at the end of the series, when Highgarden’s resources are no longer relevant to the plot. It does not matter who’s running Highgarden. But if you cut Bronn’s subplot from this season altogether, it doesn’t actually affect shit. Hell, it opens up plotholes. Bronn’s going to vanish for the next few episodes. Cersei’s going to proceed as though she never hired anyone to off Jaime and Tyrion, and Jaime and Tyrion are going to proceed as though Cersei never hired anyone to kill them. Also as if they never decided to give away Highgarden, something I’m sure Dany would be thrillled about.

If any of the characters involved thought about the implications, that is, instead of barrelling along with the plot because Script Says So.

(42:21) So Sandor and Arya go on one last road trip for old times’ sake. Can’t have this story finish with anything but revenge.

(42:33) Now, okay, I might draw some conclusions about the quality of adaptation from the showrunners’ decision to make Arya effectively not Arya, but they can make that decision and within the show’s own canon we’ll have to live with it.

But Arya here walks out on her family, completely blank-faced, no goodbyes, no indication of any sort of grief (even a shot where Arya looks back longingly at Winterfell), on a suicide mission to take revenge on Cersei. It’s all very well to rely on Arya’s longstanding desire to kill Cersei. That’s fair. Now that desire should be competing with things like “longstanding desire to reunite with her family.” And the show skips out on depicting any internal conflict there. Instead, we approach Arya’s decision to leave through Sandor’s PoV, the reverse of the book’s choices. More about how the story weights the revenge narrative next episode.

Oh, and Sandor is also completely static as a character. Completely fucking static. Our time has been well spent watching this character not develop.

(43:37) “Why her?” Oh my god. Again? It really does seem like Sansa’s got nothing else going on in her characterisation this season but hating Dany. (This is not quite accurate. There are at least three scenes this season where Sansa is not directly or indirectly engaged in undermining or expressing her strong dislike of Daenerys.) I cannot stress enough, this is both poor depiction of Dany, and poor characterisation of Sansa!

Also, the choice to open the scene with Sansa staring at the dragons, followed by the line “why her?” frames Sansa’s subsequent choices in said scene as being motivated by her dislike of Dany. Think of that opening shot and opening line as a heading for the scene.

(44:55) We establish for sure here that Tyrion is afraid of Dany. The basis for this is Dany’s behaviour after the Loot Train Battle and Dany’s impatience to be getting on with taking King’s Landing. Note that Tyrion, while afraid of his abusive father, was not afraid of him because he pulled stunts like the Red Wedding. And while show!Tyrion hated Joffrey, unlike his book version he does not appear to have been afraid of Joffrey. So what makes Dany different?

If anyone can come up with a reason other than deeply ingrained narrative sexism…

(45:06) “The men in my family don’t do well in the capital,” Sansa says.

(45:58) It’s been [checks] eight minutes and forty-three seconds of screen time since Sansa learned the truth. A truth she swore not to reveal to anyone else. Here she makes the decision to tell someone else. Firstly, this plays real bad for Sansa herself, who broke a promise in a hot second in a scene that’s about How Much She Hates That Daenerys Woman. Secondly, this plays real bad for Jon, who trusted Sansa to do no such thing.

It’s been forty-two seconds since Sansa said she didn’t want Jon to go to King’s Landing, with the implication she believes he’ll be in danger if he does. This does not track with a motivation to protect him. It does, however, track with a motivation of wanting anyone but Dany in power.

I really don’t think the writers were trying to make the Starks look like assholes, which is why their success is so astounding.

Hey, you notice that they cut before we can see Tyrion’s reaction to this news, too?

(46:28) “I’m taking the Free Folk home. We’ve had enough of the south.” It sure is nice that this political faction doesn’t have to deal with things like the long-term material and cultural consequences of internal unification, being subject to essentially foreign authority of variable friendliness, mass migration, dispossession, things like that. Nope. Right back over the mostly-intact Wall. Nothing’s going to change for them. Just a warm southron vacay.

(46:57) Jon just fucking exiles his direwolf. Worst pet owner. Also themes, direwolves, etc.

(48:13) So Gilly’s pregnant. And Sam’s vows to take no wife and father no children have not been mentioned for an awfully long time. The showrunners masterfully resolved the central conflict of Sam’s season two, three, and four dilemmas in this relationship by ignoring it entirely.

(50:05) Here Tyrion tells Varys the big secret. In spite of the fact that he should bloody well realise that spreading the information about could destabilise Dany’s campaign for the throne and eventual rule. Good job, man. Good job. (There is also no reason to believe that Sansa knew that Tyrion would pass the information on to Varys.)

Plus additional depiction of Robert’s Rebellion as being because Robert couldn’t get over being rejected, rather than Aerys being a dangerous tyrant.

(50:41) “People are drawn to him,” Varys says of Jon, in a series where yes, we’ve seen people acclaiming Jon their leader, and precious little reason why they would do such a thing. ‘Failing upwards’ does seem to be the term. Note, however, that what Varys says equally applies to Daenerys. People drawn to her. War hero. But that doesn’t matter because Dany is a woman.

(51:08) Is marrying your aunt common in the North? Do we have time to go back to the history and lore material? And there is still no good reason this wasn’t brought up in season seven!

(51:23) Varys is very worried about Dany’s sanity. Based on…the fact she was impatient with Tyrion’s demonstrated-to-be-failing plan, the fact she didn’t enjoy the one party after one of her close friends died violently in her arms, and possibly secondhand reports of the Loot Train Battle.

This is incredibly hard to buy. I mean really. For seven seasons, Dany was a reasonable, rational individual whose cruelty was a) occasional, b) a reaction to the actions of others, and c) not out of line with what we saw from other characters, giving the impression that her behaviour as a ruler was not beyond her society’s tolerances. What made her stand out was the fact that she was freeing slaves and talking about “breaking the wheel.” That was outside her society’s tolerances. The instances of Dany’s cruelty, in the context of the series as a whole, do not appear enough to support a conclusion that mentally she’s on a downward slide.

Concern over how Dany’s handling her grief over Jorah might be more reasonable, but again, there’s no reason to think this is anything but grief and trauma. Which isn’t great, obviously, but nobody’s going “oh, she’s sad and going through a rough time,” they’re saying she’s going crazy. Just leapt right to the worst possible conclusion.

Meanwhile, on the meta level, let’s keep in mind that the narrative is using the fact that Dany wasaffected by grief and trauma as proof that she is demonstrably irrational and not fit to lead. This is textbook hysterical woman trope. Textbook.

(52:08) So for context, the dragons are approaching King’s Landing. From their height, they should have a good view of the bay.

(52:17) And yet Rhaegal gets sniped! Goodbye dragon #2! Well, given how he treated Ghost, perhaps it’s a good thing that Jon didn’t get another pet.

(52:42) Euron’s invisible fleet strikes again. Sure, we see them sailing out from behind a cliff, but the dragons had some serious height advantage, and there are a bunch of ships. Guess Dany kinda forgot about the Iron Fleet!

No, really. That’s the explanation the showrunners gave.

Even though in the moment it seems that Dany also forgot that she isn’t limited to seeing what the camera points at, and/or forgot to use her eyes. If the cliffs were high enough to hide the fleet, they should also have been too high for Euron to aim over. Not that his first two shots weren’t implausibly good either.

(53:18) And Dany does not fly around the fleet and flank them…why?

(54:02) So Euron’s invisible, memory-fogging fleet, which the showrunners have relied on way too heavily for diabolus ex machina, starts laying into Dany’s fleet. Because the showrunners seriously expected Dany to forget about the Iron Fleet. Dany has also forgotten she’s flying on a fire-breathing dragon. Don’t worry, she’ll remember when the plot says she’ll commit a bunch of war crimes.

(54:35) Again straining the limits of plausibility, Tyrion survives despite being knocked on the head by a falling mast. While in the water. In the middle of a battle. That’s one way to avoid depicting a battle that should not have happened.

(55:12) Missandei is established to be missing here.

(55:27) Cersei loses allies by the day. The smallfolk will surely turn on her. In this shot, people are pouring in through Cersei’s gates and seeking her protection. Not a riot in sight. Again, there’s no good reason why, but there we go!

(56:01) They’re not dropping Cersei’s pregnancy. This still raises questions as to how long it’s been, and she’s still not showing.

(56:30) “Keep the gates open. If she wants to take the castle, she’ll have to murder thousands of innocent people first.” That sounds to me like an argument for why Dany should be rather quick securing the capital – to prevent Cersei taking and using hostages! Note that this argument applies from season seven!

(56:44) It turns out that Missandei was captured. Yes. Euron not only managed to sneak invisibly up to Dany’s forces after they all forgot about his existence, kill a dragon with some seriously implausible sniping, escape unburned when Dany forgot to set Euron on fire, and trash her fleet utterly, he also bravely sailed in, discovered that Missandei was a hostage of significant emotional value to Dany, and captured her and her alone. What plot problems can Euron not solve.

More seriously, this is some shoddy treatment of one of the show’s only significant characters of colour. It’s going to get worse. Before we got to see Missandei’s face, we got a long shot of the chains she was put in (and a snide comment about it too).

(57:13) Varys says that storming the city is a mistake. I’m yet to hear workable alternatives. Dany’s advisors have been wrong about Cersei’s political and military strength every step of the way. Why should Dany listen to them, at this point?

However, Dany’s rejection of her advisors’ (proven-poor) advice is depicted as being born of emotion rather than reason. See above re: hysterical women. We’ve got this dichotomy between emotional women and reasonable men. This is all the more noticeable in the context of Cersei’s rule. We’ve got two queens fighting for a throne at the moment, and both are apparently willing to kill any number of people for it. Currently the narrative’s saying that our sympathies should be with the reasonable men trying to rein in these unreasonable women.

(58:34) Tyrion advocates talking to Cersei. Again. This is a bad rerun of 7.07, and 7.07 wasn’t much good to start with. What reason does Tyrion have to believe that anything Cersei says can be relied on? None. He has, instead, every reason to believe that Cersei will lie if she needs to and reject every effort for a peaceful solution. He has every reason to believe this because she already has. And also hired someone to kill him. Which he found out just a few scenes ago.

I realise that Dany’s the one on the Hitler end of the Nazi analogies in episode six, but watch out for Neville Chamberlain here. Peace in our fucking time.

(59:15) “I’ve served tyrants all my life. They all talked about destiny.” Really? Did they? I can’t recall either Tywin or Joffrey or Robert talking much about destiny. Weird throwback to book!Varys, there.

(59:44) We see here that Varys measures fitness to rule in how often the ruler agrees with him. As soon as Dany turns down his advice, even though it was of dubious merit, he starts looking for a replacement. This is, again, the sort of thing that makes Dany’s supposed paranoia not look very irrational.

(1:00:04) “Have you considered the best ruler might be someone who doesn’t want to rule?” Why, yes! That question was considered extensively in the novels, in the person of Robert Baratheon! Back in the day, Robert was a fantasy hero. He had almost everything going for him. Almost every personal quality you could want in a king. But he didn’t want the throne. And nobody could make him do the job once he was on the throne. His disinterest and inertia had profound consequences on both his personal health and the running of the country.

Robert Baratheon is GRRM’s argument against that line.

(1:00:21) While there is plenty of sexism in the narrative, I don’t think Varys is incorrect to observe that in the patriarchal setting depicted, Jon’s gender will make him a more appealing monarch candidate.

(1:00:46) Varys: Jon would make a good king of Westeros.

Also Varys: We can’t marry Jon to Dany, her personality would overwhelm his!

Tyrion’s solution addresses the problem of Jon’s claim. Varys rejects that solution because it doesn’t address the problem of Dany. He does not want Dany to be the driving force ruling the kingdom. Also, apparently marriages where the woman is a Type A personality and the man’s a Type B personality are bad. Presumably the reverse is not true.

(1:03:44) Maybe three or four scenes this season where show!Sansa isn’t focused on hating Dany? Of course, my comments about Sansa being “toughened up” by having her come to enjoy violence against her enemies still apply.

(1:05:14) Now this reads like a fuck you to everyone who was at all invested in Jaime/Brienne as a ship. Brienne lays out the basic position – Jaime is a good man, he can’t save Cersei, and he doesn’t need to die with her. Sums up a good chunk of audience hopes, too. A lot of what drives the dramatic tension of Jaime’s scenes is the audience desire to see him actually follow through on his better impulses, including giving up on his toxic relationship with his sister. Not only is the audience not unreasonable for wanting this, the audience’s desire for this has been actively encouraged by the narrative for several seasons.

(1:05:39) In response, Jaime says, “nah, not a good man, just as bad as my sister, I’ll be leaving now, see ya!” As if scenes justifying Jaime’s actions-for-love never existed (just because I don’t think “I did it for love” is a good excuse doesn’t mean the show has thus far not treated it as a good excuse), Jaime lists a bunch of crimes, concludes he’s awful, and heads out. In hindsight, this is clearly Jaime rejecting any sort of different path. At the time there were theories going round that Jaime was heading off to the battle for some sort of personal resolution…but no.

So, you know, fuck the viewers for thinking someone could grow and change, I guess. A special fuck you to anyone who shipped Jaime/Brienne. They can go cry with the Arya/Gendry shippers. This is not just bad writing, it’s asshole writing. It gave the audience something to want, gave the audience what it wanted, yanked it away, and called the audience idiots for ever wanting it in the first place.

And it’s not even the worst example of asshole writing in the series. As we know.

(1:07:26) So here’s our setup. Dany, her advisors, a small group of Unsullied, and Drogon, are all hanging out on the clear stretch of ground in front of King’s Landing. Cersei’s up there and there are a whole bunch of ballistae pointed in their general direction, as well as a whole bunch of archers on the walls.

(1:09:13) Tyrion and Qyburn state the positions of their respective monarchs. (In the context of the series, especially with both Dany and Cersei being “mad” queens, it gives me the irrits that Dany and Cersei aren’t doing the talking – no, that’s for the men. See above regarding reasonable men reining in unreasonable women.) Note that these positions each demand the unconditional surrender of the other. I don’t think this is going to be resolved. I think this is well past the point where talking does much good.

This is one of the problems I have with the “reasonable” positions proposed by the men around Dany – they fail to recognise that they aren’t working against a reasonable opponent. These men aren’t reasonable in the sense that they considered the available evidence, alternative courses of action, and weighed up their options. The alternative proposed, and initially taken up by Dany, did not work. We saw it not work for most of season seven, and it continues to not work now. The “reasonable” option here doesn’t have anything to do with the situation established by the show. It’s “reasonable” in that it’s less outright violent in the short term, without accounting for long-term consequences or, you know, major strategic objectives. It treats negotiation and non-violence as inherently the most reasonable course of action, and therefore the best.

Again, this makes for a poor contrast with the books, where Dany’s storyline has talked about just these things. There are situations where people cannot solve their problems by talking. There are peaces that should not and cannot be made. Sometimes violence is necessary. The questions are when? and why?

(1:11:49) Note that when someone does actually bother speaking to one of the monarchs here directly, Tyrion doesn’t go for reason. He does not outline military consequences as he did for Qyburn. He goes for the emotional appeal.

It’s also worth noting: fucking again? This worked so well last time.

(1:12:07) Wait, so Jaime’s hateful for murdering his cousin and attempting to murder a child, but Cersei blows up the fucking Westerosi Vatican and she’s “not a monster”? Either the show’s being inconsistent here, or Tyrion is one of a) the greatest actors Westeros has ever seen or b) fooling himself. She hired someone to kill him out of personal spite! Tyrion found this out like half an hour of screen time ago!

I’m deeply suspicious of the show’s attempts to make Cersei somewhat sympathetic at this late stage. It looks a lot to me as if this is intended to make the demonisation of Dany easier. Cersei does not do much this season. She didn’t do much last season. Continuing on from what I just said about reasonable uses of violence, we’re not actually seeing much violence these past two seasons from Cersei which would make Dany’s own use of violence reasonable and appropriate. (No, they still can’t resolve their issues by talking, Cersei’s broken deals with them before.) Cersei’s tyranny is kept out of sight and out of mind for the audience, including most if not all references to that time she blew up the Sept of Baelor, so Dany appears inherently less justified in her actions.

The only thing Cersei does this season, which she’s about to do, is in direct service of “setting Dany off” mentally.

(1:12:57) Also, Cersei’s pregnancy being used to humanise her? Yikes. In context of ongoing comparison over “who’s the worst monster?” to Dany, who is infertile? Mega yikes. These characters should not be judged by what’s going on in their uteruses.

(1:13:45) Finally! A queen speaks! After six minutes of “negotiations”.

(1:14:14) “Dracarys”? Well, that’s ambiguous. Scans an awful lot like Missandei’s saying “yeah, burn the city!”

(1:14:44) So this is awful. The show has two recurring characters of colour. It just killed one. A freed slave, killed in chains, with nasty comments made about this fact, to motivate a white character whose arc has already had fair accusations of white savourism levelled against it. Not good. Not good at all.

(1:15:20) Incidentally, I can’t help but notice that Cersei stopped at killing Missandei. She’s kinda forgotten about her archers and ballistae and that she doesn’t care for norms such as truce.

(1:15:40) Dany walks away with an actual expression on her face. Her inability to school her features after witnessing the murder of a friend is how we know, for sure, that she’s losing it. If she’s calm, she’s emotionally dead. If she’s sad, she’s hysterical. If she’s angry, she’s about to kill hundreds of thousands of people…

#anti got #fine toothed comb edition #cw: violence #cw: rape mention #season eight #in which i call a lot of people assholes

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need-a-new-hobby · 4 years

Text

moo shu to go

alright, i remember parts of this episode, and i know there's a jalec conflict (and by jalec i mean purely friendship). i’ll be honest, there isn’t much to comment on except clary’s dumbassery and a jalec conflict. thus, not much to unpack either.

right off the bat, i have a theory. so right after the whole memory demon s*itstorm that happened in the last episode, clary sees the whole vision thing. now they don't really show us what happens after so here's my theory:

so obv, clary yells for jace and gives him the rundown of what she just saw. very conveniently, alec shows up. now, it’s possible that jace yelled for him too, but the more likely and more attractive notion is that he came to apologise to clary about what happened with the memory demon (see previous episode)

after writing this, a more unpleasant theory occurred to me. so in the books, alec threatens clary to not out him to jace. however, i have pushed that unbidden and incredibly unattractive theory out.

alright, so we see the first traces of the jalec conflict emerge here. so as soon as alec hears about valentine speaking to clary through the necklace, you can kinda see him panic a l’il inside. instantly he starts interrogating her a little too aggressively. i love this bit, particularly cause you kinda start to see the shadowhunter part of him.

it’s also part of why i think moo shu to go is one of the more important episodes in the season. you start to see alec on his own, independent of jace.

and clary’s getting hyper again. this matchstick needs to calm down and think. she finally has another possible lead and they desperately need to know where valentine is. on top of that, a nuclear power plant isn’t exactly obvious, but there are identifiable traits in it.

ugh, i need to go to my happy place.

okay, i’m back. clary has unnecessary attitude here. sure, alec’s being abrasive, but he’s trying to help and her emotions are clouding what little she can still remember from the vision. i mean, he asks her what she saw and her only response is ‘valentine has my mother, that’s what i saw.’ like yeah, clary, we know that. anything else?

ofc she likes jace’s idea. except that it would have all fallen apart if raphael hadn’t handed simon over. plus jace’s idea to get to valentine would’ve gotten them killed.

‘vampires. bored, decadent, self-involved vampires.’ ha! raphael would not appreciate that language (though it does explain a lot about camille)

also is she seriously comparing his hare-brained scheme to save simon from the vamps to trying to capture valentine?

‘he can’t be handled by 3 and a half shadowhunters’ i mean is he wrong though?

also jace is just casually holding a spear in the background.

this next scene just unpacks why i love izzy so much.

first off, how well she understands alec. she knows the pressures her older brother’s under but also how abrasive he can be towards others, especially to strangers. which leads into my next point

despite understanding alec’s intentions, she still decided to find clary, knowing the latter probably didn’t understand the consequences. izzy’s empathy in the show makes her so much more likeable than the way she’s characterised in the books.

even more importantly though, she’s shown in the beginning to be this free, wild spirit who doesn’t know what the word ‘consequence’ means. but here you start to see that she does understand the implications of their unsanctioned missions. right here when she talks to clary, you can see how izzy is beautiful, wild, confident and smart but overall just a beautiful soul.

final point on izzy: she knows exactly how to cheer up clary. she knows in this moment, they have no plan, and that they’re gonna need time to figure things out. instead, she gets clary to focus on what her mom is like.

ooh, maryse’s entrance. instant badass vibes. i like it. also kinda terrified.

first of all, whoever came up with costuming and hair did a brilliant job.

second, maryse really offsets jocelyn after we hear about the whole ‘more like a friend than a mom’.

third, the way she brushes past both of them kinda gives you an insight into how the lightwood siblings’ childhood was.

four, why is it that despite alec being the acting head of the institute, maryse instantly goes for jace? guess we’ll see...

‘shadowhunters aren’t big huggers.’ maryse proceeds to hug jace

again window into alec’s childhood with the instant life lesson; ‘You should be prepared, whether you expect me or not’.

also alec’s little ‘I am. We are.’

i feel really bad for alec and izzy right here. let’s recap:

izzy’s getting scolded for having a friend in the downworld, in other words, sleeping with meliorn to get information. clearly maryse doesn’t condone this, perhaps because of the risks or the blatant morality questions that come with this.

alec’s role as head of the institute has turned into the Fairchild babysitter, he’s getting shade for being unprepared and you start to see why alec was so uptight all season.

meanwhile jace, who has limited expectations on him considering that he’s adopted, is seen to be consistently doing well. it’s not really his fault, i presume, considering that he never really had much of the responsibility for the institute. all of jace’s decision are actually alec’s in the eyes of the clave. to them it looks like alec can’t maintain control and is instead approving unsanctioned missions

clary, for some reason, is still involved in their discussion despite this clearly being a lightwood family matter. literally anyone else would have excused themselves. reason #13 why i hate clary fairchild. everything has to be about her.

oh, what a surprise, clary fairchild being shocked by another family’s drama. first of all, personally i was always taught to respect another family’s relationship chemistry. every family is different, every parent has a different style. clearly clary’s mother was more libertarian in her parenting style, which is great for her. except she’s missing the fact where the lightwoods are a high-status family with an institute to run. alec was consistently groomed to follow the rules and take over the institute. clary’s mom was much more libertarian except when it came to clary’s safety. moving on...

‘what did you do to piss off your mom?’ ummmmm.... who’s gonna tell her? oh wait, alec does nvm

‘I'd guess, for a start all the unsanctioned missions on your behalf didn't go over that big with the Clave.’ this little quip along with izzy’s speech before really combine in this episode. hopefully she understands that she’s a part of something bigger than herself with real-time consequences on her new ‘friends’.

okay, i have to admit, i love how jace know something’s up with alec. and that his assumption is that alec threw my leather jacket in the washing machine. again, just with this one line,

alec does laundry which for some reason is really funny

he’s thrown jace’s leather jacket in the machine before

clearly when he did it, jace must have gotten pissed off if he assumes alec’s wounded face is ‘cause of that

okay, i refuse to believe that jace is this dumb. even clary understood that the guy is gay, how is it feasible that jace hasn’t figured this out yet?

alec’s nervous smile after this little scene

i love alec and clary’s fight scene, just cause a) i get to see clary knocked on her ass and that’s just a different kind of joy and b) i feel like it’s so cathartic for alec

also if she’s saying that all a leader does is make decisions, i need to take a very deep breath. the leader is popularly misconceived as aspects of power, popularity, showmanship and wisdom. what a true leader has is vision, long-term planning skills and uses these to accomplish goals. in this setting, we have to add another criterion; protection. alec is meant to be a leader, but he’s still subordinate to the clave. and as for his decisions, clary doesn’t respect them because they don’t service her. alec’s decisions have to be made for the good of the institute, not for clary, another reason why she constantly undermines his authority. on top of that, she expects him to stand up to his mother, which would be perfectly reasonable except for the little, tiny detail in which maryse lightwood is head of the new york conclave. if he debates her decisions, if he doesn’t follow her orders, they’re all screwed. and that’s the difference between him and jace.

that’s not to say jace doesn’t make sound decisions. the way they stormed pandemonium and the hotel dumort with just the 3/4 of them is admirable. but while jace makes sound decisions on each mission, on each battle, alec has to make decisions on the war against valentine.

okay, these next lines should reealy grind my gears but i can’t be mad. so clary essentially tells alec that he needs to find valentine and stop him. ‘i need to find valentine and help save my mother.’ and then he kicks her ass and says ‘you need to work on your defence.’

‘what’s the big thought on not thinking?’ hahaha!

omg my two babies. s1 malec is so adorable. also, ‘you seem... sympathetic.’ really? he’s been alive for centuries and the best he could come up with is sympathetic? and why does the matchstick keep disappearing?

alec just yeeting through the institute to find clary is so funny

‘what’s the point of an invisibility rune if you don’t keep your phone on silent?’ excellent question.

also how did alec know she was at the brooklyn academy of arts? she didn’t leave anything to track so did he just, like, pay attention to who she was and guess? i mean it is canon that he has a fantastic memory for people. book!magnus mentions he loves the beach ONCE and alec remembers it for their wedding. mindblowing! (i’ve just realised how low the bar is)

‘mundanes. look at them. running around like ants.’ i can’t be mad at that. it’s actually very accurate. also, i know where this is going and my heart is palpitating.

oh ma gawd she said it. *face-palm* why would you say something like that? he already doesn’t like you. it’s like she’s trying to get him to hate her. did she actually say ‘busted, no?’ i really wanna slap her. can i slap her? just a l’il?

i mean, at least he didn’t threaten to kill her? i don’t even... i don’t even know what to say. i’ll probably rant about it after.

okay, i have to say this. valentine is smart af. picking chernobyl was genius with the only mundanes around willing to do whatever it takes to cure their cancer. i thought it was genius because noone would think to look there, but this. evil genius. i feel so bad for them.

haha. ‘world’s been ending for a thousand years. you get used to it.’

simon jumps up onto a ladder. ‘have you been doing parkour or something?’

‘climbing a fire escape excites mundanes. i’ll never understand these people.’ as lovely and unoffensive as that sentiment is, it’s a little clunky in my opinion but it’s alec so eh. not really out of character for him.

ooh nooo, simon. alec’s starting to get suspicious.

‘you were engaged? i’m almost certain i don’t want to hear this story’ but... simon tells it anyway.

‘She was protecting you.’ ‘Let's see how well that worked.’ ‘You're alive, aren't you?’ good point

okay, so i have to make one point about my archer boy before we go ahead. i kinda feel like alec’s reeally misunderstood by simon and clary. like the way he treats them is curt, sometimes arrogant and a l’il abrasive. but despite that he really does care about their wellbeing. you can see it in the way he pushes simon out of the way. while simon construes his behaviour as offensive and taking him for granted but i think in reality he’s protecting simon. jocelyn’s been careful enough to burn down clary’s room so there’s reason to believe that there might be booby traps or some kind of protection spell around it. he does it again when they hear something behind them. he just instinctively moves in front of them.

noo, don’t leave them alec. not good. on the other hand, archer boy!!

also they never actually sprint. it kinda feels weird that way they all run, like they’re afraid they’re gonna hit the camera or smth. idk how to explain it.

dear lord, the jalec conflict is coming and i want to curl up into a ball and cry. but also punch a wall at the same time.

so something i wanna address is how clary doesn’t realise that her actions, though they are hers, are attributed to the people around her. she sneaks out of the institute and that action is attributed by jace to alec. in simpler terms, he blames alec for clary sneaking out of the institute which izzy picks up on. ( ‘and yet you’re blaming our dear brother? fascinating’) and alec blames himself for it too, which isn’t great either. reason #31 why i dislike clary fairchild. the consequences of her irresponsible actions fall on the people around her.

my god, jace can be savage sometimes. so something they’ve established later on in the show is that you can only track someone if they’re on land. seeing as clary and simon have been taken to the docks, technically they’re not on land. so obviously the tracking isn’t gonna work, but jace doesn’t realise this (obv, since he doesn’t know or can’t predict she’s on water).

something else i should point out. jace is using a charred sketch to track clary when they have her bag RIGHT THERE.

first he blames alec for clary sneaking out of the institute. then he blames him for her getting kidnapped (which, i have to admit, maybe he should have stayed inside with them and then gone out as a group rather than secure the fire escape which is what he would normally do with jace and izzy). but then he says stuff i can’t forgive him for: ‘Then maybe your mother was right, and your best is just isn't good enough.’ that stings.

‘why do i keep getting kidnapped?’ that’s true. hasn’t the kid been through enough?

haha, inexpensive cocktails.

it always strikes me that these scenes happen after dusk. why? does it really take them that long to get there?

when did they teach her runes?

the way she holds the stele like it’s a wand. ridiculous. ‘you know you can’t cast spells with that thing?’ every time people say patronising stuff like this, i always start getting mad, but then i remember that none of this would’ve happened if she’d just stay put at the institute.

the way luke manhandles her is so funny. she’s like a rag doll.

poor luke. just got beat up by jace for saving clary

izzy is a queen PERIOD. ‘i’m getting seriously sick of saving your life.’ ‘i am not.’ i mean getting kidnapped would be worth it if you got to be rescued by the lightwood siblings.

do they seriously have to keep hugging each other? they’re right outside a werewolf den.

‘i didn’t screw up everything.’ technically he didn’t screw up anything. none of this would have happened if clary had just listened to him.

i also love how the lightwood siblings all instinctively touch simon to pull him back as the werewolves approach.

just the series of dialogues

alec: he’s challenging the alpha

clary: he’s helping us

simon: or cutting in line to kill us.

has clary not watched twilight? it’s like her questions get dumber every episode.

another thing i hate about jace; he says in the beginning that clary is his responsibility but then refuses to clean up her messes, telling alec and isabelle to report back to maryse who is not going to be happy.

the first time i watched the ending i was kinda disappointed. not by the luke plotline, just by the choice of song. soldier, by fleurie, is a masterpiece and i just feel like they wasted such a good song.

well, thank the lord that’s over. i hate watching jalec fight because they’re so good when they’re on the same side. ep 6 coming up

#shadowhunters #alec #alec lightwood #izzy #isabelle #isabelle lighwood #jace #jace wayland #clary #clary fray #clary fairchild #anti clary fray #anti clary fairchild #anti clary #anti jace

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

Note

Hey Steph! I absolutely love your page! Do you have any PTSD related fluff? like Johns having nightmares so Sherlock goes to comfort him and they both know but don’t mention it?

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: I was wondering if you knew of a johnlock fanfic which has john having PTSD or other war-related problems, and sherlock either helps him get through it or john comes to sherlock in the middle of the night like a child asking if he can sleep with (not that kind) sherlock so the nightmares will stop. If you do, great. If not, that’s fine too :)

Hi Nonnies!!

I don’t know if you’re the same Nonny or not, but since they’re both the same-ish, I’m putting them on the same ask, LOL!

So I HAVE done a list in the past for PTSD, and because I have a few new fics, I’m gonna make a part 2 list! Hopefully you’ll find something you’re looking for on one of the two lists I have!

NIGHTMARES, PTSD, PANIC ATTACKS, & MENTAL or EMOTIONAL TURMOIL (Pt. 2)

See also: Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil

Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…

Welcome Home, John by slashscribe (G, 5,504 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardness, Stabbed Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Panic Attack (Sherlock), Self Esteem Issues, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When John moves back to 221B, he thinks he’s the broken one, but after a while, it becomes clear that he might not be correct.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by “accident”, it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John’s preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Silhouettes by allonsys_girl (E, 28,585 w., 7 Ch. || Canon Compliant, POV John, Heavy Drinking, Sad/Depressed John, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Reunion, Foot Jobs, Blow Jobs, Infidelity, Cheating, Drug Use/Abuse, Anal, Switchlock, Rimming, Parentlock) – Sherlock and John find comfort in each other’s arms, but as ever with these two, it’s not your typical relationship. It’s fluffy at the beginning, gets deeply angsty in the middle, gets porny at the end.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate’s nose buried in your hair. Whilst you’re in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he’s consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #ptsd #panic attacks #my fic recs #emotional turmoil #e-rated fics #Anonymous #long post

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sapphicdalliances · 4 years

Text

Hi, Yuletide writer! First of all, my sincere apologies in my delay of getting this letter written up at all, and my enthused thanks for being here!

I’m a simple bitch with simple tastes; here is a general summary of my preferences, and fandom-specific notes and prompts can be found further down!

I very much enjoy:

Romance -- anything up to and including plotless shippy drivel

Short fics, or even collections of tiny fics

Long fics too, so I guess what I mean is, don’t feel pressured either way

Comedic tones, slice-of-life, lighthearted fun, any amount of improbable romcom tropes

Am also hella on board with misunderstandings, drama or angst as long as there is a happy ending!

I’m deeply okay with AUs, and most likely would be down for any modern, romcom, fantasy/fairytale, gender swap, or remix/crossover AUs you feel inspired to explore! My favourite settings include mundane/urban fantasy (witches! werewolves!), anachronism-stew-with-magic western fantasy jumbles, and disney’s Tangled.

Specific tropes I love:

Proposal fic

Wedding fic where the couple getting married is not the main couple

Outsider/third character POV of the main couple

Exes who are still in love/getting back together

Friends-with-benefits-with-feelings/did a bad job keeping it casual

Shipfic where two or more couples are contrasted

Oblique declarations of love/saying i love you without saying i love you

Provision and caretaking (acts of service!)

Aggressive matchmaking/wingmanning by an enthused friend

Hanahaki, or any other improbably dramatic instances of Cannot Spit It Out

Arranged marriage/fake marriage/fake dating

Epistolary fic

Regrettably I also love a/b/o, especially the kind that emphasises on scent safety and contains little to no actual sex

I’m not as into:

Political or social intrigue, mysteries, complex magical plots — by no means a dealbreaker, but not high on my list of priorities

Kidfic

First person narration

Soulmate AUs specifically

In general, please avoid:

Character death or serious/permanent injury

Animal abuse or death

Infidelity

Hopeless or downer endings

Fandom specific info starts here!

Princess Tutu - Ahiru, Fakir

I’ve loved Ahiru/Fakir for years and years — they are both very strong, willful but compassionate characters, and the way they intersect is just so sweet to me. While I would be ravenous for any tutu content, gen included, I really would be particularly delighted with some overtly shippy fic for this one, I hope that’s okay!

Suggestions:

Modern AUs: vet science major Ahiru + English major Fakir meet in theatre club?

Step Up-style remix where they become somewhat-unwilling dance partners because their regular partners are somehow indisposed and work better than expected

That one ending fix-it AU where Fakir writes her back into a girl and they retire into the village, the one we all have in our treacherous hearts, i will never get enough of these

Fakir and Ahiru’s relationship progression as observed by the other members of the school/town

Or mix it up with any of the tropes in my general list! For this ship, I would like a maximum rating of T, please!

Wotakoi

I love every ship in this manga equally but perhaps I love Kou/Naoya more equally than the other two? They are just so kind and so silly, and so sweet to each other in exactly the way both of them didn’t realise they were missing! Honestly, anything with these characters that’s along the lines of canon would be delightful; the particular energy of misfits realising that they don’t have to be alone is something very dear to me.

Suggestions:

Accidentally dating ft. Kou and Naoya, or, “and you’ve made out how many times now? Hmm. Yeah, that’s not technically a bromance.”

5 times Hirotaka and Narumi almost, almost kissed, and 1 time they did; the unresolved romantic tension may kill me and it would be worth it

What Hirotaka and Narumi taught each other (apart from the more mundane gaming and life skills, i believe that she taught him how to smile and be loved by others, and he taught her how to be loved by herself!)

Smutty domesticity ft. Koyanagi and Kabakura — a lazy Sunday, laundry in the sun, fucking on the couch, everything easy with familiarity

The fantasy/MMORPG AU, where Hirotaka is the lazy but brilliant crown prince, Naoya the hapless but beloved second prince, Koyanagi his spymaster and Kabakura the captain of the prince’s guard; Narumi his childhood friend-cum-betrothed, and Kou a mysterious archer who saves a distressed Naoya from bandits in the village?

The gang tries to play DND. We finally find a game that Naoya is good at.

Or mix it up with any of the tropes in my general list!

Nezha - Oubing

I feel 100 different ways about this movie and 88 of the ways are SO CHINESE. The filial piety, the familial sacrifice, the friendship! I do believe that Nezha and Aobing are in love, I hope this is a reading of the text that we share, but if not, gen about their friendship/rivalry would also be well-recieved.

Suggestions:

Aobing has been practicing bigu (a cultivation style that is meant to remove one’s need for food or water) since he was born; Nezha introduces him to food, and other creature comforts — do they have BEDS in the dragon palace for example?? Buddhist-style cultivation is very ascetic and difficult, but Nezha is so wild and full of feelings and love!!

Modern AU: delinquent Nezha and prim, proper exchange student Aobing

Modern AU addendum: nobody believes Nezha when he says he’s got a hot boyfriend in Taiwan and thinks that he has made Aobing up

Arranged marriage/political fantasy AU where the prince of dragons is given to the most controversial heavenly general in an effort to improve both families’ social standing

For a gen prompt, if you want to do something about Nezha and/or Aobing’s relationships to their fathers, debts and affections and resentments, that too would be lovely!

On the other end of the spectrum, i’m down for PWP with xeno tropes re: aobing’s dragon anatomy! So long as the top/bottom roles are not too strictly defined, i just like it when they’re equitable or switch!

And of course, feel free to mix it up with any of the tropes in my general list!

Kazetsuyo/Run with the Wind

I didn’t tag any characters because my favourites were not in the list, and of course because I do love everyone, but my personal priorities are in order: Shindo, Musa, Haiji, Kakeru, Nico-chan, Yuki, the bombastic twins, and then everyone else. The spaces between those positions are very small so if you happen to have a passion for a character/ship lower on the list, worry not, there is limitless affection within me for everyone!

Suggestions:

Shindo should get to take Musa to see the snow… he deserves that

He also deserves to run the ekiden again in his fourth year and not be sick and actually win section 5!

I do think Kakeru and Haiji are most definitely soulmates — if you choose to focus on one or both of them, I really do believe they are in the romantic kind of love, is the thing!

Perhaps their relationship, an inevitable drifting together, as perceived by everyone else in aotake?

Or Haiji comes to Kakeru’s graduation, all their tenderest affections still unspoken, and somehow, without any premeditation, by the end of the day they’ve kissed

You know what I think? I think Hana-chan likes and is capable of dating both of the twins, and I love that for her

Or gen canonverse with everyone (or just everyone you care about) taking turns caring for Nira and reflecting on the race!

As above, please feel free to mix it up with the tropes in my general list!

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun

I only selected Seo and Waka because they are simply my top priority, but if you want to serve a side of Chiyo/Nozaki and/or Hori/Kashima and/or Seo and Kashima being beautiful best friends and/or Mikorin being a beautiful himbo who we are delighted to have here, i would not complain at all!

Absolutely anything about them being goobery oblivious idiots in love would be perfect, such as:

5 times they went on a date without realising, and the time they realised

Everyone else literally just thinks they’re dating and they are completely clueless

Or on the other end of the spectrum, everyone tries desperately to set them up/matchmake for them, not realising that they’ve been going steady for four months

A hanahaki AU would be particularly hilarious with these two, I feel

Urban fantasy AU where Waka is a hapless monster hunter and Seo is an annoying but deeply harmless werewolf who’s been terrorizing his town??

Regency or faux-regency AU where Waka is literally like “drive by your rival’s estate slowly so that she may seethe with jealousy at the loveliness of your new hat” and Seo is like “oh goodness, he is courting me. What a fool. What an absolute buffoon.” and challenges him to a swordfight

Fairytale AU where Seo believes she must rescue the prince from the tower and deliver him back to the kingdom capital, and the prince, who had not realised he’d been kidnapped, thinks Seo is a usurper from a rival kingdom who must be supervised all the way back to the kingdom capital to be served her justice

Or anything else equally romcom-y, and of course, as always, throw in as many tropes as you like!

Thank you for reading this whole mess of a letter, and I sincerely hope I haven’t bored you too much. The most important thing to me is that whatever you end up writing, you are able to enjoy the process at least somewhat, and deliver a fic that you like! I can also be found on twitter at @hawberries_ (for art) and @popplioikawa (for general ramblings), and if you have any desire to send an anon ask to this tumblr with questions, i’m actually not sure if that’s allowed but i’d be happy to get some! Thank you again, and happy holidays!

#shut up phee #yuletide

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