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soupdeewoop · 3 days

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why (in my mind) down bad is Remus Lupin's song

[Verse 1]

Did you really beam me up In a cloud of sparkling dust i like to think that this part is when like (based on atyd) when Dumbledore comes and enrolls remus at hogwarts, and takes him to this place that is so new and sparkling to him.

Just to do experiments on? Tell me I was the chosen one so this is also about Dumbledore. i mean if you've been in the fandom long enough we know that Dumbledore isn't exactly a great person like he's deemed to be. i like how this line includes "chosen one" bc harry (obviously). it just goes to show how Dumbledore has done the same bads things for two generations of people.

Showed me that this world is bigger than us Then sent me back where I came from going back to atyd (i haven't finished atyd and not everything i say here is gonna be about it btw), remus being exposed to hogwarts and being (somewhat) happy i what i connect this line to. he came from a place of loneliness, to hogwarts, and then the war, and back to not having anyone around.

[Pre-Chorus]

For a moment, I knew cosmic love hogwarts. the marauders. sirius. yeah.

[Chorus]

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym lol fuck my man probably doesn't go the gym but it does make sense for him to cry at the most random places yk? he's lost the people he loves

Everything comes out teenage petulance i feel like a lot of people would definitely become petty and like "ugh whatever" kinda attitude. after losing so many people, i mean, is there even a point to even think rationally? it might not be correct, but does it matter?

"Fuck it if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference" remus has felt this way throughout so much, i mean, should we be supreised? cause i think not. i feel like the "him" is sirius, cause he did have him back but then he DIED, so remus is just like "wtf wtf wtf why cant i just HAVE HIM you gave him to me BACK! ykw, i might just die it would make no difference"

Down bad, wakin' up in blood Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up I'm sorry but he is a werewolf sadly. he wakes up in blood. ALONE THO. it makes sense for him to stare at the sky (maybe looking it the sirius start mayhaps?) and being like "PICK ME UP PLEASE"

Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

[Post-Chorus]

Down bad Fuck it if I can't have him Down bad Fuck it if I can't have him i (don't like) to think how he would just be on the floor after his transformation, down bad on the floor, "fuck it if i cant have him here next to me, helping me" "i could just stay here, there's no point in getting up"

[Verse 2]

Did you take all my old clothes Just to leave me here, naked and alone i mean, sirius stealing moonys sweaters and clothes is one of my favorite things, but in this context, he dint only steal that. he stole everything. his clothes, his sense of belonging, his whole fucking soul basically. and then he left him forever.

In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now? i mean this town can literally mean HIS TOWN or maybe even hogwarts? imagine how bad it must have been for him when he went to hogwarts as a teacher, the hallowness in his heart there without everybody he's known and loved for years.

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about The existence of you um well sirius is in azkabhan. yeah.

[Pre-Chorus]

For a moment, I was heavenstruck he was heavenstruck, sirius was moonystruck

[Chorus]

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym) Everything comes out teenage petulance "Fuck it if I can't have him" (Fuck it if I can't have him) "I might just die, it would make no difference" Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood) Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

[Post-Chorus]

Down bad (Like I lost my twin) i like how this one says "like i lost my twin" cause i feel like wolfstar are soulmates argue to the fucking wall. in my mind they're not opposite but not exactly the same. kinda like two sides on the same coin yk?

Fuck it if I can't have him (Down bad) Down bad (Wavin' at the ship) Fuck it if I can't have him

[Bridge]

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer after sirius escaping, maybe they did try to get back together? their encounters, where sirus gets "closer and closer". slowly but surely.

All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's— their "indecent exposures" being at hogwarts. the love and affection. maybe sometimes being indecently exposed (sorry james [not sorry] peter)

I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it remus would. he would whisk them both away to somewhere where no one can find them both.

How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded now, back to the petulance. obviously he knows this isn't sirus's fault, but sometimes pettiness takes over.

'Cause fuck it, I was in love So fuck you if I can't have us 'Cause fuck it, I was in love let him be. my man was in love with sirius black. his soulmate. he can be upset.

[Chorus]

Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym (Cryin' at the gym) Everything comes out teenage petulance "Fuck it if I can't have him" (Can't have him) "I might just die, it would make no difference" Down bad, wakin' up in blood (Wakin' up in blood) Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

[Post-Chorus]

Down bad (Like I lost my twin) Fuck it if I can't have him (I'm down bad) Down bad (Wavin' at the ship) Fuck it if I can't have him

[Outro]

Like I lost my twin Fuck it if I can't have him Down bad (Wavin' at the ship) Fuck it if I can't have him

and yeah. that why this song is so remus coded.

#soup talks about marauders era peeps #taylor swift #marauders #ttpd #the tortured poets department #remus lupin #ts ttpd #sirius black #down bad #remus x sirius #remus loves sirius #the marauders #marauders era #james potter

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royalreef · 1 year

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@lambfated inquired: What would cause you to leave a fandom? Munday Salt - Accepting

(( Glances over at the Monster Prom fandom.

Ha ha ha. Hah.

So the first thing you should know about me is that I don’t seem to participate in fandoms in the same way as everyone else. I don’t fandom hop. In my experience, and from my experience of watching everyone else cycle through ten different fandoms a minute, it’s pretty uncommon to find people who don’t fandom hop. Sure, I’ll get into other things and even reblog fanart and read fanfictions of them, but I don’t consider myself as being in the fandom in the same way, because I don’t participate the same way. I probably don’t have all that many opinions as to what’s going on as other people. I won’t really talk about it.

Instead, as evidenced by this blog, I will find a fandom and I will stay there. For years at a time. I will remain there, remain making fanart and writing for it and speculating on things and hashing ideas out, things that I do now for Miranda, and I simply won’t leave long after everyone else has already left and I will stay there day in and day out at the same level. I don’t really chase trends, I don’t really get into new stuff, I will find a singular fandom and camp there.

This is how it’s been for Monster Prom and me. I got in right when the game released, and I remained here. DLC has come and gone, a Kickstarter has come and gone, sequels have come and gone, and I haven’t really left.

For my previous fandom, Homestuck, I think I was there for something like 8 years. It was the same way.

So when I talk about leaving fandoms, I mean this in a much different way that most people mean it. If it’s a casual interest of mine, I’ll just stop interacting with it, and won’t consider that leaving the fandom because I was never in it. If it’s the fandom where I’ve camped out in, it’s a much longer, more painful process.

I guess I couldn’t really tell you when it really started? Like, the writing issues first started cropping up in the Second Term DLC, but they felt minor enough at the time where I didn’t worry about them then, and worrying about them now likewise feels odd. I’ve talked a lot before about my disappointment with Zoe, but her and Calculester both feel fundamentally different from the original ROs to me and it’s hard to decipher why. Maybe it’s just because they were created and added later, so they inherently missed out on working all of the ROs in together and figuring out how they riffed off of each other, so they’re inherently far less connected to each other than the other ROs were? The Kale ending was an utter nightmare for multiple reasons, but I was willing to write that off, especially since apparently there are people that exist that love it.

I know there were also issues with the Kickstarter too, but these also felt minor at the time. I’m less bothered by the limited Kickstarter merch than by the rest of the limited merch that would be released, mostly because it feels much more natural to me for Kickstarters to have limited edition merch. I’ve pledged to a lot of Kickstarters, that seems fairly common to me. I don’t like the limited releases of other items in comparison, because they do have proper merch stores for Monster Prom that haven’t been updated since Second Term, and it always feels like they’re preying a lot more on FOMO.

Monster Camp also had..... a lot of writing issues for me. The first and easiest one to get out of the way is just the scatological humor. It feels like the original Monster Prom had WAY less scatological humor going on, and the ability to remove scenes with it never worked in my games. For the record, that kind of topic for me is legitimately a trigger, one that I don’t like discussing both because of how severe it is, but also how much no one takes it seriously. I don’t like that there are parts of this game that are suddenly inaccessible to me when they didn’t used to be, and I don’t like that entire “secrets” are also excluded from me due to something that never was an issue before. I also fundamentally hate the Drinks mechanic. Yes, I know there are different modes for it, but the fact that you have to unlock the drinks too is just frustrating more than anything. Either my choice is to miss out on a lot of secret endings due to RNG, or to try and use a system that I can’t because I have trouble with hand-eye-coordination and moving my hands in the first place. It also doesn’t help that it’s not optional, unlike the Shop that it replaces, so you end up forced back to it time and time again and you don’t even get the chance to avoid it.

But the characters themselves also began to feel... off, to me? I don’t think it was as bad as I was dreading, but it still didn’t feel right. Dynamics felt jilted, characters didn’t seem to quite have the same force of personality they had before, there was a ton of loss of “voice” for individual characters. I think them not having the same voice as before is one of the big issues — when I look at a list of quotes from the first game, it’s VERY easy to figure out which character said them just from phrasing and word choice and inflection. When I look at a list of quotes from the second game, I can’t, because these characters all start to sound the same and say the same things and come off in the same way. It’s where I feel like the ability to let Kickstarter backers choose the ROs really failed the hardest, because that meant there wasn’t a diversity of dynamics and different internal voices for these characters for them to stand out against each other, but I also feel like the writing itself lost the ability to distinguish between characters.

And then... Roadtrip. Oh, oh Roadtrip.

Mechanically, I actually kind of love this game? It feels like it has a nice, snappy balance, in a way that Monster Camp didn’t have, and it doesn’t make me utterly hate my life to play. There was still an issue with the scatological humor — this time it doesn’t even remove the options from your game or give you something alternative, but just adds a ticker that an option will contain it. It still locks “secrets” behind those triggers, and it can also really fuck with my stats if a stat I need is connected to an option with that trigger. But it’s not as big of an issue as Monster Camp where it didn’t work at all, so, you know.

But Roadtrip’s writing is... atrocious. The characters feel flanderized in a frankly awful manner, like the devs were just looking at the fandom’s notes for how the characters behaved and worked and entirely threw away everything that they had before. I’ve always hated the fanon, but now fanon is canon and it loses so much of what I actually liked about these games and what drew me to them. These characters don’t feel like friends anymore. They almost feel like they all hate each other and are forced to tolerate each other because they want to fit into the idea of a friend group, they stop feeling like individual people to me, they’ve had all their hard edges sawed off and sanded down until they could be as palatable as possible to as many people as possible, it’s just awful all-around. I hate Scott being given the Papyrus treatment and Polly treating him cussing as out of character for him. The expanded lore for the PCs feels out of place and not like Monster Prom characters, as if they belong to some other game. The way they handle Miranda’s eating disorder is downright offensive and made my own flare up. It’s bad. I won’t lie.

And I think that ties back into why I tend to have to leave these big fandoms for me that I camp out in for years at a time.

The fandom is just fucking awful.

It’s been years since I’ve properly done anything inside the main Discord server for this game. Too many times I’ve started talking about Miranda, or made fanart of Miranda, and, totally unprompted, I would get people going off about how much they hate her and want to hurt her or watch her die. It’s just constant if you don’t like any character other than the fandom’s main darlings. If you don’t like Damien, the PCs, or Zoe, then you won’t get anything out of the fandom. The only real ships I see floating around constantly feature the PCs. The only anything anyone ever really properly talks about is Damien. If you want deeper lore or consideration or just to talk about the world of Monster Prom then you won’t find anyone or anything. I’ve had people go on and on about how my art is “uncanny” and “upsetting” to them, I’ve had people constantly make snide comments to me, I’ve constantly been shoved to the shadows and insulted because I don’t make typical “fandom” stuff.

Like, I know this fandom is much better than a lot of others, and fandoms in general are hell. But it’s also so discouraging and upsetting to see it still be the same way, still never change, and to see canon itself start to enable all of this. I know Monster Prom has always been more connected to its fanbase than other games and other media, but this has never been a selling point for me, and it’s always been something I dislike and discourage. I don’t want the devs to care what I do. I don’t want the devs to let me influence their games. I don’t want the stupid lore I came up with because it’s some of my favorite tropes and I could loosely justify it to be canon. I don’t want other fucking characters to be made and introduced to explain things that characters that already exist should be explaining.

I really just want the characters to continue to be themselves and to be interesting. And I didn’t even get that.

#Most secret royal advisor || OOC #Dreaded rumors || Asks #lambfated #(( this is so long and im sorry #(( but also i really cant talk about leaving fandoms without talking about #(( why i have started to really hate monprom #(( like my only other ''leaving a fandom'' option for me is #(( getting slightly annoyed and deciding to stop rbing fanart/reading fic #(( for any and every reason tbh. they are too low-investment for me.#long post

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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aita for dividing up my sideblogs by fandom and not being clear about the fact that theyre all the same person?

this has never landed me in any kind of drama or arguments yet, but its been on my mind for a long time so i want some second opinions. basically, i have a good handful of sideblogs and each one is for one specific fandom (or sometimes a few interconnected fandoms). the reason is not only for categorization (i really like keeping things categorized) but also because… i dont want to get called problematic and for every single sideblog to get that label too.

i dont think id get called out for the stuff i ship, because none of it is that uncommon or problematic. but its the fandoms im in specifically. there are some fandoms im in that some people really, really hate, most often because of rumors/assumptions about certain contents of the source being problematic, or a generalized annoyance at the people in the fandom. if i like someones art or writing in one fandom, i dont want them to have to know im in a fandom they hate for a stupid reason. im not guilty about that.

what ive been considering though is that some of the fandoms im in people hate or cant stand for pretty valid reasons. like, some of the fandoms im in do have actual racism, misogyny, and other shitty ideals in their sources, and while i understand how these things are harmful and dont agree with or tolerate these ideals in my fandom experience, i understand that there are some people who just dont ever want to be near that fandom or someone in it for those reasons. i understand that some people have had shitty experiences with certain fanbases and cant tolerate interacting with someone in those fanbases.

i think its reasonable to say that i shouldnt be interacting with people if they say they dont want to be interacted with by certain fandoms. theres no fandoms im personally uncomfortable with, but if there were, i dont know if id necessarily be okay with being circumvented without my knowledge just so people could look at my posts. and, despite saying earlier that im not guilty about interacting with people who hate fandoms im in for stupid reasons, i also dont know if im qualified to judge what a stupid reason is or not! someone saying they hate a certain fandom and not saying why isnt "not a good enough reason".

but also… what they dont know wont hurt them?? its not like im befriending any of these people. i barely talk to people directly online (its just not my thing, im not a very social person), i basically just reblog and leave compliments on art and writing. its not block evading, because ive never been in a situation where someone tells me on one sideblog to not interact with them and then i interact with them from a different sideblog. since the sideblogs all only interact with the same fandom, nobody from other fandoms even knows they exist.

sidenote that this is purely about fandoms themselves, not about shipping problematic things or specifically engaging with problematic fandom content, because thats really not my thing.

tl;dr i have a lot of sideblogs, and sometimes ill interact with someone who says they hate a certain fandom despite being in that fandom. they never know im in that fandom and im not befriending them. aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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beemers-hell · 4 months

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**not me absolutely trying to avoid using Emoji’s but having the need to so I look silly and whimsical and not dramatic and like a frightened Victorian child😞**

ANYWAY….💀I’m new to sending a random thingy and I just wanted to send this anyway cuz I’m a little peanut brain and can’t decide on what I’m doing but besides that— 👹👹👹I REALLY LOVE YOUR ART STYLE SO MUCH ITS TOTALLY INSPIRING AND I THINK I SORTA GAINED A KIND OF LIKE “😦Oh Wowwie this person is so unique how do they post their art without being scared?” ((I posted like three things but I’m over here too goofy to go off from the Anonymous text thing but I really should cuz— 🧍🏽‍♀️……I’m rambling- 👹👹👹👹TO GET TO THE POINT I WILL LITERALLY EAT YOUR ART AND THROW A MILLION HEARTS ALL OVER YOUR CHARACTER DESIGNS RAAHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM AAAAAAAA❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️—-

(Also random thing but like- how do artist genuinely post stuff and just— get it noticed?—😞 sorry I absolutely suck at this since I rarely ask people things on here since I wanna post my own silly art and characters but I get all “😦…OH! PEOPLE CAN SEE MY THINGS—“..but at the same time wanting people to see my artwork?— YEAH ITS CONFUSING AND MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED TRYING TO DRAW MY FAVORITE MADNESS COMBAT CHARACTER…..))

😞sorry that I just wrote a bunch of vomit from my brain I just don’t know how to send things without rambling like a deranged creature—

I CANT TELL YOU ALL THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR BEING SO KIND TO ME ITS NOT FAIR RAUAGAHAGUGSIGJSH

As for how you get noticed, straight up you just gotta get lucky. If you're like me where you're scared of talking to people and interacting with others, you're just gonna have to leave it up to luck whether people notice you or not lmao. That's what happened to me! I just posted my stupid doodles to the madness tags and didn't do much else and I ended up getting lucky in that a lot of people noticed me and a lot of people liked my shit.

Or you can just interact with a lot of people and you'll get your name out there that way! I'm too chicken shit to do that so I don't know how well that works personally lmao

Straight up, you just gotta conquer your nervousness over posting art. I was terrified of sharing my oc x canon stuff with Eb and Tricky publically but hey lo and behold people were really nice and encouraging about it. And now I'm not AS afraid to share stuff thats personal to me! Really its all about not letting your anxiety stop you from doing what you like. I had to learn how to overcome that and you will too!

Also, to all my fellow "is anxious about sharing my personal stuff that I think others will think is cringe type of content publically, esp in the Madness fandom": No one else opinion matters because Krinks has your back dawg. My proof is this lol

#beemer asks #slash pos

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eggsploded · 9 months

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fausto for the ask thing...... the girl herself

butterflaust :)

first impression: you really get the feeling that she fucking hates you. shes rly funny cuz shes the tutorial character but doesnt leave after the prologue. shes here forever, judging dante. i feel in the beginning i skimmed over all the nuance in her dialogue assuming its just wordy for the sake of wordiness.

current impression: faust is soooo... faust. upon replaying the prologue shes way less cold than i first thought, her little c: smile when talking about mephis was saur cute. in fact shes not really cold at all to me, simply operating in a faustly way. you can contextualize what she does as a way to keep herself occupied. not really for some deeper lore sense (because ionno what her deal is) but a bitch needs some stimuli. i think if she was made to do arts and crafts with no larger purpose outside of fun she would explode into blood and gore. it also makes her friendship with yi sang really funny because i wonder if she cares to understand his artsy spech past it being a little clever wordplay. if he made her a drawing she wouldnt know how to compliment it outside of a technical sense. her flavor of arrogance is also so funny to me because its so stupid? like when rodya complimented her and she puffed up and went faust Is cool. the speaking in 3rd person too is funny, knowing she isnt LARPing like don and is very much just Like That. theres alot about herself she either doesnt notice or simply does not want to examine deeply like her mild competitiveness or tendency to manipulate people if it means theyll be less annoying to her. simply the faust of all time

favorite moment: i think the sweetest and funniest thing was realizing her spiel about yi sang not being a genius Unlike Her and believing in more philosophical things unlike her Sensible and Tactile self was an attempt at a COMPLIMENT. i thought she was ripping him to shreds but no she was actually hyping him up a bit in the most clinical way possible

story idea: you know earlier when i said making faust attempt creative expression would cause her to explode into bits? well i want to see it anyway. im forcing her at the kindergarten table of that nasty smelling homemade playdoh and telling her to make a new animal. sinclair made a bear with with wings called a beear. very nice young man.

fav relationships: im enjoying the fandom divide with faust shipping where she is either getting bitches left and right and not giving a fuck to maintain them (because it comes out weird when she tries) or not even being aware of when shes down bad and having the primal part of her brain that tells her to bite and roll around hijack her motherboard. shes being corroded by an insidious EGO called... horny, different to lust, which is Krausts jam. i already wrote a little bit about fausang and i think fausts inability to know how to enjoy things makes them a very sweet duo. in her mind the guy doesnt come a lick close to her own brilliance, but something about how he closes his eyes in understanding speaks more words than compliments do. not to say that faust doesnt like being hyped up. because she does, like all the time. if they were walking she wouldve tripped when rodya called her babe. her greatest flaw is pretending shes above anything, if there was a chance to maul ryoshu she would without pausing. probably so turned on she cant see anything. ishmael too. also outis. hey, whats going on here? my sources tell me due to her ongoing opposites to yi sang she is incapable of a domestic lame marriage the way he is. ishmael is the yuri messiah, but faust is the yuri menace. you know what they are both capable of though? following rodya around enamored because that was the first pet name theyve ever been called and it felt Funny.

fav headcanon: in the newest credits cg for canto 4 i think shes telling vergil she has a tummyache

#egg asks #faust #my followers seeing my url on their dash like boy i hope it isnt a giant text wall again #i shouldve specified i can answer non limbus things too

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dumping-ideas · 7 months

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im impressed by all the Tsukasa questions you get, hes such a strange little fellow And i also have a question about him lol

I feel like tsukasas the kind of person whose willing to confide in others about his problems (which i think hes openly said), namely the troupe, and if its minor enough, Saki and/or Toya as well. i always got the impression that he thinks he must always be the big brother/leader no matter what because thats really what he was his whole life, i mean he didnt have many to rely on as a child either, did he? Now maybe i just have bad memory, but i dont think hes ever confided in anyone about his childhood? i believe in dazzling stage he was able to sort of heal from the sorrow he felt as a child, but that was all. like. *just* him, no? i always thought the majority of the tsukasa angst written about in the fandom was greatly exaggerated, one of them being how he bottles up his problems, but what im asking is, is that really so far from how he actually is? i think the main thing he feels he just cant talk to others about is his past i feel is a very very important part of his character

i didnt mean for this to be so long my apologies 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

No no no, thank you for the ask! I'm sorry it took me this long to answer（┬┬＿┬┬）

I'm also of the opinion that Tsukasa does know how to share his problems (mainly show related), but his upbringing certainly influences how he grows up to be so independent. We know that Tenma parents love both children but I believe that concession had to have been made in the past. Like leaving Tsukasa alone lots of time, Tsukasa visiting Saki most of the time (like it took Ichika 2 hours by train just to go there iirc and she's accompanied by her mom, Tsukasa probably just goes back and forth as often as he could), etc. And because Tsukas also knows that not sharing his problem might make others worry about him even more, so he's fine with letting them know on a need-to-know basis.

And you're totally right! All WxS know is that Saki was sick and hospitalized a lot, so Tsukasa wants to make her smile through shows.... That's it. Other info WxS gets about Tsukasa's past is mainly from Saki, Toya, and Shizuku, not from Tsukasa himself.

While Tsukasa knows how to ask for help, he doesn't really confide his personal issues with other people. Like how he doesn't tell anyone that yeah he felt lonely and sad when Saki was hospitalized and how he just buried those feelings deep inside because they hurt, or how he feels so powerless because his dream just feels so far away. Heck, even in Our Happy Ending we just finally get Tsukasa admitting that parting with WxS makes him feels lonely and it's for Emu to admit her own feelings and cry in front of them. Tsukasa is being vulnerable because he wants Emu to be vulnerable in front of them as well. That's just how much Emu and WxS means to him.

And well, angstkasa definitely amped up the angst to eleven, but I personally think canon Tsukasa just doesn't think much about his problem? Canon Tsukasa problem is that sometimes he's rushing through things--partly due to his personality and partly due to how he just doesn't process his negative emotions that much. And canon tsukasa doesn't really share what he's doing/feeling as long as it doesn't hinder their shows and his family & friends (everyone is surprised when they found out that tsukasa met the otori brothers alone to ask for more opportunities outside wonder stage). I get the feeling that he thinks sharing positive feelings is fine but sharing negative feelings is something that happens just when it's necessary.

About bottling up problems, canon tsukasa tends to go like this:

"Oh, this feels painful/difficult"

Option 1: "I have to do something to remedy it myself!" & Option 2: "It's not important right now so let's just forget about it! (but it's still there)"

Option 1 usually results in him doing things himself without anyone knowing the underlying problem

Continuation of option 2: "Why is this still a problem? Damn, it hinders our show."

"Maybe it's okay to ask for some advice? Just enough so it can help our show without troubling the others that much"

"Okay, I'll try to solve it myself with your advice" => by Phoenix Edge WxS is helping and watching over Tsukasa in this step! This is progress!

SELF-REFLECTION or inner monologue about how it hurts very much but he got this! For everyone and for the show!

"THANK YOU EVERYONE" (doesn't elaborate any further)

Tsukasa doesn't do bottling up problems, he just doesn't think it's a problem while it is very much a problem. Rui realizes it in Pop in My Heart, and Emu and Nene is aware of it by Dazzling Stage. That's why they're so supportive of Tsukasa in Phoenix Edge, and how they become much kinder towards Tsukasa now (especially after the update). Unless Tsukasa being full of himself or an embarrassment, they didn't really tease/prank him that much compared to before.

I think the most noticeable evidence is how both EN and JP fandoms thought Rui would tease Tsukasa over their height difference, only for the official team to say "no, current Rui would not do that, he likes to see Tsukasa smiles". AND THAT'S A HUGE IMPROVEMENT!!! Now, WxS is learning how Tsukasa ticks--even Nene's tongue isn't as poisonous as it was before. Tsukasa learns how to be okay by himself growing up, and now WxS is learning how to let Tsukasa not-be-okay in his own pace. They've seen him being depressed and ruminating his problem by himself right before their very eyes after all, so I guess they're learning to be softer so he would loosen up around them and more willing to share his feelings if he's up for it. The problem is that Emu, Nene, and Rui is also still learning how to push, while for Tsukasa there's nothing to push (while it actually stacks in the corner to be processed later).

Besides, I think Tsukasa just thinks that his past isn't that necessary to be shared as long as he remembers his true feelings. But yeah, it's a huge part of Tsukasa's character, actually. He doesn't really share his personal feelings and past as long as it's not necessary. It's interesting how WxS story also deals about "you're not alone anymore, so don't hesitate to rely on us about anything" while the group leader is more of a "need-to-know basis" in terms of opening up lol.

#pjsekai #project sekai #tenma tsukasa #ask #tsukasa tenma #analysis #Tsukasa is so easy going when dealing his emotions and so strict when dealing with his own standards for himself it's kinda funny #Tl;dr tsukasa deals with problems by not making it a big deal until it disturbs WxS shows #Other than that it's a need-to-know basis for everyone

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utilitycaster · 8 months

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I'm still thinking about The Rain Road from Worlds Beyond Number in like five different ways, particularly in how it relates to a bunch of other actual plays, so I'm cramming them all into one massive post:

There was a NADDPod D&D Court case in the live show they released this week in which the DM invented a language for Thieves' Cant and put it in a packet for a new player who was playing a rogue but did not make it clear this was required reading, and then in-game answered the rogue's investigation check in this language, which the player had no ability to understand, and it shut down an avenue of story. Absolutely wild case but the point here is that this sort of energy needs to be directed into writing in-world songs or poetry and not a conlang your player has to pick up in their spare time.

In the Fireside, Aabria talked about how the song was inherently political despite being religious and not having any political lyrics (comparing it to some of the spirituals of enslaved African-Americans). We do know that the people who knew the song were older; we know that Galani and Suvi felt a certain way as members of the imperium about it, and that Morrow did not recognize the greetings of Port Talon derived from the worship of Naram and Orima. It's unclear precisely what the Empire's attitude is towards religion. It does not appear to be outlawed and Steel indicates a non-religious degree of respect towards Great Spirits; it seems it's simply not respected by the Empire on the whole, perhaps broadly discouraged. Even a fairly neutral attitude of disregard could erode it culturally among younger people who are always eager to reject the older ways. A cynical person would say any of these could be the path to eventual harsher legislation; wear it down first for a few generations, then come in when the opposition is weak. What's interesting to me is this relationship between religion and Empire, especially against the backdrop of Critical Role. There, we've seen it several ways - religious institutions using the tools of empire (Othanzia), empires that blur the lines between the two (Kryn Dynasty), but also empires that outlaw it (the Dwendalian Empire going after casual worshippers of the Changebringer, leaving their children to fend for themselves). My own feeling here is that religion is conceptually neutral and can be used for either good or ill, and empire is not given that it relies on conquest, but it is interesting to see the vast differences in the fandoms for the two works - which have decent overlap - re: religion when we have mostly seen the two in opposition vs. when we we have seen many different perspectives worldwide.

To that point I'm really excited for the next arc because while I think empire is, again, always going to be about subjugation and conquering and cannot ever be a good thing, I also think that individuals within it are going to be complicated. I can't remember if it was Brennan or Aabria or both who pointed this out, and that right now we mostly just have the word "empire", but even then, we've seen people seeking the favor of the Imperium but not high up within it do terrible things, and people who are in its military and abused by those in power died to save civilians. The Empire is on the whole going to be a bad force, but I'm looking forward to seeing all the very human reasons why people might support it. (This isn't about the song but it's a natural thought from the previous one).

Back to the song, I know much of the lore of the campaign is taken from Brennan and Erika's cultural backgrounds, but a hymn for rain is something very common in Judaism - the upcoming fall holidays especially center around this. Not much to add there other than that this does feel very true to liturgy that has a basis in the natural and the agricultural; good job Brennan on that.

Bouncing back to the song as it exists as a quiet form of something that is perhaps not explicitly anti-empire, but shows a way without an empire (after all, few things are more of a quiet threat than reminding people the empire did not always exist), Ame is of course the one who makes an effort to learn and spread it; she's the one who builds a shrine during the fight and who knows how to communicate with the spirits (sidebar what the fuck is up with Suvi's necklace). It is interesting to me, among various fandoms, seeing which character is pinned as the Moral Center because it is almost always one vague description, which Ame fits (wise; provincial; vague nature vibes), but the thing is that archetype does not really have a moral code associated with it and I wonder why that's the archetype, particularly since that immediately sticks out to me as a valuable but very limited voice. (It's also interesting that when there isn't an obvious character who fits this type, the Moral Center character - and to be clear I think the idea that one character is the moral center is fallacious and simple thinking to begin with - people gravitate towards, if I can be a bit dismissive about characters I genuinely like since I'm really just dismissing the fandom perception, sob stories, more than anything else).

#long post #i was going to main tag but honestly this is so scattered i won't. read my post if you want to skip if you don't have fun with it #wbn tag #cr tag

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strawglicks · 1 year

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thinking abt how every spamvil hater ive seen villainizes jevil and victimizes spamton to the moon and back. like their argument against spamvil is ALWAYS, without fail, "it would hurt spamton :(" and then they have nothing to say about jevil or talk abt how jevil would hurt him somehow.

First of all idk where this weirdass villainization of jevil is coming from. People seem to think hes this irredeemable soulless clown who feels nothing and doesnt care abt anyone. Meanwhile, ingame, he literally admits he is lonely and was close to Seam in the past. Yes he needs to learn how to be serious and has a cynical view of the world, but for some reason the fandom doesnt see him as a complex and flawed character. they just decide hes too far gone and would hurt anyone he has a relationship with, including spamton.

And then theres spamton, everyone's favorite innocent angel never did anything wrong bbg apparently!! The fandom doesnt treat spamton anything like they do Jevil. They actually want good things for him, a better future, and feel sorry for him. That's not a bad thing, I feel the same, but these same people will ignore all his flaws and how literally evil he was in the snowgrave route. Spamton is not a good person. I thought this was explicitly clear in the game, but apparently bc he has sad lore spoonfed to the audience this is ignored.

In regards to Jevil, Spamton is extremely bitter and jealous of him. The only things spamton himself has said about jevil is that he wishes to "surpass" him, and that he lost to jevil's games in the past. He even admits he cheated in many of these games. Spamton is not a trustworthy person. if you havent noticed his character is literally based on scam emails. Spamton is just jealous of Jevil's happiness despite the situation theyre both in, which is understandable in a way. Still, it doesnt mean spamton is in the right for being bitter and resentful. There's no real evidence Jevil has actively hurt spamton in any way, esp not on purpose. He literally just beat him at games and is way happier than he is and he's angry about it.

People consume all this shit at SURFACE LEVEL- reminder that this is an unfinished game MADE TO BE ANALYZED- and dont look any deeper into these very complex and interesting characters. All these spamvil haters assume Jevil is just irredeemable and too far gone and find spamtons backstory depressing but dont think about what these two NEED to heal from their experiences. Having gone through similar shit, they're really the only people who could understand each other to such an extent. They both need to let their guard down and listen to each other because they can offer each other a different point of view on a similar situation, which is what the both of them NEED more than anything. Yes it would take a lot of time; these are very flawed people. But you cant just. leave them where they are right now and expect either of them to heal completely on their own. Being alone is the LAST thing either of them needs. Jevil literally admits to being lonely and spamton ACTIVELY gets worse the longer he is alone. Yes he has trust issues, but he needs to be able to open up if he ever wants to get better.

Theres also the argument of "spamton is afraid of clowns" which isnt valid anyway because i just got done explaining how even if hes afraid of opening up and being close to people, spamton NEEDS it if he wants any chance at getting better. Sometimes you have to face your fears to make any progress. Plus spamton himself has never shown any sign of fearing jevil. He's only ever regarded him with bitterness and jealousy.

idk how to conclude this fuck you

#imagine consuming an UNFINISHED GAME at surface level #look deeper ffs #spamvil #spamvil analysis #spamton #jevil #deltarune #deltarune analysis

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sorroute · 5 months

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Hello I saw your doing an event and I would like to participate in it if that’s cool :D I also really like your blog theme too, it’s very pretty C: anyways, I’ll start!

Fandom: I’d like a romantic Neon Genesis Evangelion matchup please!

My name is Jaxrel but I also go by Himawari, Rin, Eden or Luke too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im wasian (eastern european & west-southeast asian), polish, arab/middle eastern, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, im on the more severe of of the Autism Spectrum so I would like someone to acknowledge that and I also stim when I’m to overwhelmed when there’s a crowded place, to much lighting, etc.

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, I pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i hate kids but i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it, even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, even though hugging makes me uncomfortable i will push past that boundary and hug someone with all my heart if they needed it, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday for the past 12 years despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love you, you'll be seen.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid/regular producer, i can rap, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music to similar artists I like, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, vkei, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, any asian food (japanese, korean, chinese, taiwanese, etc), the mandela catalog, your boyfriend (game), roblox(game), otome games and more!

these are some of my top kins!!: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), mondo owada (danganronpa), blade (honkai star rail), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

misc: I live in a mixed language house hold where I speak mostly polish and Arabic, and some Korean and Japanese, it world be nice if the person who I get can react to that lol, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), clumsy; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go (e.g. "bust this popsicle stand" instead of “blow this popsicle stand"); prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, tries not to take life to seriously, i love dancing a lot, I do a lot of dancing like tiktok (idk I’m so sorry😭) dancing, belly dancing, dabke dancing, I play the electric / bass guitar, piano, cello, koto, and more.

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot such as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i basically wear casual clothes too but can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as kimono style, jirai kei, decora, mori kei, cult party kei, i like wearing traditional asian dresses and more but the ones highlighted in purple are the ones I wear mostly.

Thank you! Have a good day!

Hi Jaxrel! ^^ I think you and Kaworu would be a great match for eachother ໒꒰ྀི >ヮ<꒱ྀི১ I was also going to add Shinji to the matchup (polyam) but I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with that so I only did Kaworu </3 If you want another one with Shinji feel free to ask!

I also thought of Atsushi while reading this, so here it is <3

Kaworu

Realest t4t relationship EVER !!!!

And autism4autism

These are just my heacnanons you don't have to follow them :3

Anyways, Kaworu adores you

You're like a pair of silly cats

You guys gossip together all the time

Everyone hates your relationship because you both are mischievous and silly and they are done with you guys

You guys will 100% have really late night philosophical convos at like 3am

Kaworu is very hyper aware of how you're feeling so if you ever feel overstimulated or overwhelmed he's on it right away

Will move you to a quieter space if possible and either leave you alone if you wish or will talk about it with you<3

He also gets overstimulated I feel so he may be able to tell the warning signs easier

Will make any accomodations you need in terms of lighting and temperature and stuff (and anything else ofc!)

Cat fathers of 84 kitties

Gets you cherry Pepsi all the time just to see you get all excited because he thinks it's so so so cute (cherry Pepsi specifically because I think he would also like cherry Pepsi idk)

He thinks how you kiss all your stuffies goodnight is kind of silly and he doesn't really get it that much, but eventually he starts doing it too ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

He listens to your music all the time !! It's not really his style, but it makes him feel closer to you and he still thinks it's great even if it's not his taste <3

He asks you to teach him how to dance (he's horrifyingly horrible at it)

He begs you to teach him how to speak EVERY language you speak

He's very impressed but honestly not surprised because he thinks you're so amazing (and you are!!!!)

YOU GUYS PLAY PIANO TOGETHER LIKE THAT ONE SCENE OF KAWORU AND SHINJI EXCEPT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY !!!!!

He loves your style and aesthetic

Again, he doesn't get it at all, but he loves it on you

Brags about how cool and talented and handsome you are (with your permission! Won't if you ask him not to !!)

Atsushi

Lowkey scared of you............

He loves you though

Thinks you're so cool and handsome but your first meeting was SO awkward

Atsushi stood there in awe trying to comprehend the fact that you were talking to him (he was probably feeling down and you approached him)

You complimented him and he almost broke down in the middle of a park

He's ALWAYS worried about you, wondering if you had somehow gotten yourself into trouble

Whenever you talk he always gets startled because of how loud you speak 😭

I feel like you're sort of like his personal vet (y'know... With him being a tiger.... Kitty cat... And you're interested in anthropology and zoology and stuff.... And you like cats... Idk)

Like Kaworu, he's not the biggest fan of the type of music you're into, but he's definitely listened to all your songs before<3

Literally all of them

With how you dress, sometimes you remind him of Ryunosuke with your Victorian goth (it's not exactly the same but has the same vibe)

Having grown up in an orphanage, he probably only knows Japanese and maybe some English, so he is BAFFLED when he finds out how many languages you speak?

How do you even keep track of that???? He's so impressed and, unlike Kaworu, very surprised because I feel like he didn't even know someone could know that many languages at once

He definitely tries to learn Arabic (he doesn't think he could handle more than that, he already struggles with two 💔)

Too nervous to ask you to teach him so he tries to teach himself

He? Kind of learns? But not really

Is horrified at the idea of you getting tattoos or more piercings

Not because he dislikes them, but because he dislikes the idea of you possibly being in pain :(

He's overdramatic and traumatized shhh

He tries to splurge on your favorite foods for you, but he's pretty broke so he always feels bad when he can't get you anything

Will definitely try to get you your favorite drinks though <3

He's not as observant as Kaworu, but is always stressing and worrying about your needs so you may have to tell him or signal to him if you're feeling overstimulated, but once he knows he's immediately getting you out of there and comforting you as best he can :3

Your scent is like catnip to him, he loves it

You're his safe space, and he tries to make himself as much of a safe space for you as you are for him<3333

A/N

Wrote this while listening to Antithesis Kisama kai by Syudou ໒꒰ྀི 𖦹 ˕ × ꒱ྀིა‎ ‎ ‎Also tysm for the compliment<3 ‎ Anyway, I'm really sorry I didn't add the NSFW headcanons 😭 I wasn't comfortable writing anything for Kaworu and I didn't know how to feel about writing nsfw for Atsushi either </3 so sorry </333 I hope you enjoyed this either way!! Feel free to let me know your thoughts ^_^

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #matchup event #atsushi nakajima #atsushi x reader #atsushi x you #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #nge #nge kaworu #kaworu nagisa #neon genesis evangelion #evangelion x reader #nge x reader #kaworu x reader #kaworu nagisa x reader #silly

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sockori · 6 months

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shmupdate 🧦

very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated

greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy

im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.

i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.

yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.

the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.

cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest

feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.

that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails

trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine

#sasori #world is pain but i will manage

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everlastlady · 6 months

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Hi there!! thank you so much for letting me do a trade matchup with you! it means a lot to me ^_^ and since you said that I can request another matchup for Alastor I’ll do it here right now! zacznijmy od tego (:

Fandom: I’d like a romantic matchup for Hazbin Hotel please (part 2 with Alastor since you almost chose him LOL)

My name is Jaxrel but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Eden too! I’m Transgender (FTM), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im wasian (eastern european & west-southeast asian), polish, arab/iraqi/middle eastern, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, when I'm bored or feeling trapped, I become anxious, scattered, and impatient. I may make impulsive decisions or take needless unnecessary risks, I tend to enjoy strategizing, problem-solving, and brainstorming new ways to complete everyday tasks, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, im on the more severe of of the Autism Spectrum so I would like someone to acknowledge that and I also stim when I’m to overwhelmed when there’s a crowded place, to much lighting, etc.

Love Languages & Dates: I have all the love languages I'm serious lmaoo, for dates it would be like going to a movie theater and then afterwards we can go get dinner, or personal for me I would like to go to an arcade and the shop for a little and whatever my partner wants really lolz xP

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid/regular producer, i rap, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO, BABYMETAL, YOASOBI & Ado too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), writing, learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals/music CDs and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it.

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, V系, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, hotels, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, any asian food (japanese, korean, chinese, taiwanese, etc), the mandela catalog, your boyfriend (game), roblox(scp 3008, get a snack at 3am, flicker), otome games and more!

these are some of my top kins!!: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), nanami kento (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), blade (honkai star rail), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, sometimes wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot such as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i basically wear casual clothes too but can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as kimono style, jirai kei, decora, mori kei, cult party kei and more, i like wearing traditional asian dresses here and there, but the ones highlighted are the ones I wear mostly.

thank you so much again for this opportunity again! 낮이든 밤이든 좋은 시간 보내세요! وداعا الآن

Finally getting this posted even though writing has been quite draining especially with the things going on real life but I hope that you enjoy this story/match up with Alastor! 🤍

Hazbin Hotel Matchup: Alastor The Radio Demon

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✰- Author's Note: Another Hazbin Hotel Matchup remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

✰- Posted: 10/27/2023

✰- Story Contains: Alastor, Romance, Partner Alastor, & Sweet Moments.

✰- Word Count: 1712

✰- matchup is for: @averagetoyakinnie

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The radio demon never really bothered with love, of course he had a few people he cared about. But love? Alastor didn’t really care about it; that was until he started working at the hotel, he met you at first Alastor didn’t know why he found you interesting, but he did. Seeing how awkward you were made Alastor laughed - he would try his best to get you to come out of your shell around him. But he did find your shyness adorable, to the point that whenever meeting people Alastor would help you introduce yourself and make you feel welcomed to the hotel; or when getting something to eat with him and Rosie. Rosie also adored you and made sure to keep an eye on you whenever Alastor was busy. Once you are comfortable around Alastor, he could listen to you talk for hours about things you hate or like. He doesn’t mind that you speak loud; it lets him know that you are passionate. Alastor can match your silly and sarcastic energy which can turn into a game for the both of you. Seeing you be confident and straightforward makes Alastor grin ear to ear, he loves a partner that can stand up for themselves especially when he’s not around since Hell is a tough place. Alastor will do his best to make everyday fun for the both of you or give you some space so that you don’t feel anxious or scattered. He doesn’t mind if you are inpatient. Alastor will watch you help Charlie with her hotel, seeing you be able to solve problems in the hotel or demons that are causing them. He still thanks you for finding a way to get Angel Dust to leave him alone. His little busy bee, he knows what your thinking face looks like, the amount of times he has come home and kissed you because you gave him ideas on how to one up or annoy Vox made him happy. He doesn’t talk about you in front of Vox after messing with him. He doesn’t want Vox coming after you. So you two aren’t really seen in public so whenever you two are out it’s usually with a group or the two of you pretend to be friends so that Vox doesn’t use you against Alastor.

Alastor always tells you a joke, seeing you smile makes Alastor happy but hearing you laugh makes his heart flutter. He’s glad that you have a sense of humor because he also loves your jokes or seeing you be mischievous. The two of you are nosy; so the two of you know all the hotel gossip. This helps Alastor make deals with other demons. When he comes home; he will tell you things about the demons he made deals with. Alastor is your gossip partner, even if you sometimes enjoy gossip with Angel Dust. You still love having a cute gossip session in bed with Alastor. He even has juicy gossip about the overlords in Hell. Before dating Alastor he had seen you break a lot of hotel rules with Husk and Angel Dust. Whenever Alastor caught you and the two of you locked eyes. You would freeze in fear thinking he would tell Charlie. But he the demonic deer would only smile and put a finger towards his lips before walking away, he never told on you because he loves to see how sneaky you can be even if it means breaking a few rules. Even though Alastor doesn’t want kids, he knows that you would make a great parent because you have that fatherly side towards you. “ Thanks for the water (name) “ Charlie would say as the two of you work in the hotel garden. “ Thanks for listening (Name) “ Husk would say after drinking so much that he would go on a drunken rant about his old life while you helped him back home and into bed. Alastor could tell that you hide your anger, sometimes he wants you to release but other times he doesn’t want to force it; whenever you pop then Alastor will be there for you.

He could tell that you are autistic, he loves you and does his best to understand your condition. Seeing you stim is something Alastor takes notes on. If places are too crowded Alastor will get you out of that place. Alastor’s home doesn’t have bright lights. It's very dim at his place so you never have to worry about bright lights. Alastor doesn’t like seeing you overwhelmed so he will do everything in his power to make you feel safe, calm, and comfortable. You and Alastor know all the love languages. The two of you see a lot of movies together even if you both have different types of film taste. Alastor likes to cook dinner for you both. Tying his hair back and wearing a pink apron that has strawberries on it with the red letters that spell “ kiss or kill the cook “ you got it for him when you moved in. Alastor will cook your favorite meals or meals from his mother’s recipe books. But if you two do go out to eat. Alastor will take you to the finest restaurants. Alastor doesn’t really understand video games but he likes to watch you play; you got him into animal crossing….. Don’t look at his animal village. He hates this thought and fears it, here is what it is and why. You are caring towards others; always helping other people or animals. You have such a kind heart it makes Alastor wonder how did you end up in Hell, so if Charlie’s project does work then maybe you will get into Heaven - Alastor is unsure if he will ever get into Heaven, but if you do then Alastor refuses to date anyone else and will spend every night talking to the sky hoping you could hear him from Heaven. But those are just thoughts he has; he’s happy that you are by his side right now.

He won’t do anything to risk you not getting into Heaven. Especially if it’s something that you want. Alastor can see that fiery passion that makes him love that part of you always standing up for what you believe in. Even if the situation can be scary, he admires how brave you can be. “ I’m proud of you my dear. “ Alastor would place a kiss on your cheek. Alastor does spoil you a lot, he will buy you whatever you desire. He doesn’t like when you drink energy drinks like red bull but if you want then he buys it. “ Energy drinks are nasty, but I found a way to get you one, here you are my dear. “ Alastor said, placing the drink in your hand. Even Alastor doesn’t like sweets. He does keep his cabinet and fridge with some sweets for you. He gets you the best sweet treats, the only sweet thing he would eat with you, are strawberries and this because he grows those tasty little things with you. Alastor watches you a lot, so one time he watched you kiss the heads of all your plushies goodnight, when he asked why you do this; you told him just in case they are alive this caused him to roll on the floor while laughing. He finds it funny but also adorable that you do this. Sometimes when you aren’t looking he will use his magic to move one of the plushies when you kiss their head, this makes you think you are just seeing things but that was until you caught Alastor and chased him because of this. Even though Alastor is a mischievous trickster who loves to laugh and cause chaos sometimes his days aren’t wonderful his mental health wouldn’t be the best and he would lay in bed. You notice this so you would stay home and clean up the house, check on Alastor seeing if he’s ready to talk, and make his favorite meal. Alastor is grateful for all this and will hug you from behind before mumbling thank you against your neck.

Alastor could see that you still have humanity in you, especially the emotional parts of you. Whenever you two have a movie night and cuddle on the couch watching movies. You would cry at tragic or happy scenes in the movies. He always has a box of tissues nearby and would hug you close. Alastor doesn’t mind your hobbies even if he doesn't get some of them. You did kinda get him into video games like before he loves to play animal crossing but he does find horror physiology games interesting and will play them whenever he has free time, sometimes those physiology horror games come in handy with his victims. Alastor has tried some asian dishes with you. He finds Mandela Catalog interesting and is something he likes to watch with you at night in bed. You and Alastor sit in the window with you in between his legs and your back against his chest, watching the rain as his radio plays smooth jazz. Alastor finds it fascinating that you can speak six languages. He knows a lot of languages himself so the two of you have conversations in different languages to keep each other educated on these languages. With Alastor being taller than you because you are only 5’6 he teases you a lot but also likes to pick you up. But he knows that you are what is considered average height. He finds your fashion sense interesting, seeing you in new and different outfits. He always compliments you and will go out of his way to buy you the outfits you want, even if you two go shopping and when you look in the mirror at an outfit that is on display he will get it for you. His favorite outfit to see you in is your Victorian goth outfit. He thinks you look breathtaking. Maybe sometimes he will match with you only if he is up for it. Alastor loves everything about you and will never leave you behind or put you in harm's way. He didn’t bother with love but now that he has met you, he will always bother with it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin matchup #alastor x reader #alastor #alastor the radio demon #everlast answers☕#everlasting writes🪻

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emmimimii · 2 years

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#2 In the Car | Marius Von Hagen

go away 18 below/ minors! NSFW Ahead!

Fandom: Tears of Themis Pairing: Marius Von Hagen x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Vaginal penetration, Unprotected sex, dirty praises, car sex, semi-public sex, riding

its cramped. You're both an arm's length away from each other and you could smell the faint scent of cologne he has on, he smelt faintly of citrus and it fits him well

he was wearing his suit but had taken off the vest and tuxedo pieces, leaving him in only his signature black shirt, the very same shirt you find yourself eyeing (because it highlights his pecs so fucking well) he seems to see you staring at him, so he playfully says "oneesan/jiejie, is the view that great?"

You rolled your eyes, it's so him to be joking, but instead of the usual retorts, you decided to play his game and tease him back.

"yes, good enough to eat, you look and smell delicious" letting the s drawl, you can see him gulp slightly, it was a relatively straight and empty road, so he let his eyes wander over to you, but without giving him too much time to react, you reach out and touch his arms, and your fingers tiptoeing across to his chest (that you so long to touch)

Marius's grip on the wheel wavered, and you could feel the car swerve slightly (a/n: please don't do this irl it's dangerous buns!) but he manages to grab hold of the car with one of his hands before it gets out of control, the other holds on to your mischievous fingers, gripping it and leading it to his warmest part of his body.

He quickly parks in a safe spot, your hand still captured between his palm and the heat of his cock. he unbuckles the two seatbelts and repositions his chair backwards. and without any warning, he grabs hold of your ass and lifts you on to his lap (while also managing to put a hand on your head, to prevent you from getting a concussion, cause whatever's going to happen he's not going to stop)

he's warm and hard, and it's not just his dick you're talking about (though that part of him was extra hot) and you can feel his breath on you, his lips inches away from yours, the hand that was protecting your head smoothly push you towards him, him meeting you half way

the kiss was humid and sloppy, but neither of you could separate from each other, you loved the way both your chest rubbed against each other, and your cunt now wet was also frictioning (a/n: i want this to be a word pls) on his member.

you feel one of his hand tangle in your locks, and the other to your pussy, rubbing (knocking) on the entrance once he reaches, and he proceeds to drown your moans through kissing, when you really couldn't hold it in, you bite down on his tongue, and he bites back then lets go.

"oneesan/jiejie, i see someones in a mood to play naught-ah"

he didn't get to finish talking, because your hand have found it's way on his cock, unzipping his pants clumsily in the dark, you press the ready and wet cunt against his, slicking him with your juices.

"oneesan/jiejie, wait-hng, thank god for skirts-oh god"

you laugh at the statement as you sit on him, sliding down slowly.

you love the feeling of his cock when it penetrates you, every time he enters, you're surprised by how warm a person could be, then it gets deeper and thicker and it fills you up so well, but you know, he's not fully in yet. His cock just keeps going until it stretches your cunt, both horizontally and vertically, it greets your cervix with a deep kiss and you know he will each and every time he thrusts.

it hurts every time, but its a pain you can't live without (like spicy food [a/n: I cant even eat spicy]) you're enjoying the way he's stretching and throbbing and you can feel him inside you so clearly, the way every vein throbs makes your knees weak, but you know he's waiting

his lips start kissing it's way to your breasts, expertly reaching your perk nipples, obviously waiting for attention, and you feel them enveloped in warm wet heat, and his tongue flicking aggressively, starving for your reaction, he bites gently

your back arches, pressing your chest closer to him, and his dick pushing further in, you struggle to move up and down, your arms embracing his head offering some sort of leverage, making it somewhat easier to push yourself up

you're going slow, enjoying the way everything feels more ... detailed, trying to mold his dick into your pussy, but he can't take it anymore. as much as he loves it when you take charge, he wants more

he wants to hear the schlicking sound your cunt makes when he thrusts in you over and over again, he wants to inhale your screams as you lose control of your moans, and he wants to watch in disappointment as his cum leaks out of you everytime he tries to fuck more into you

he grabs you by the ass and rams in you, making sure to hit every spot he knows that sends you into a frenzy along the way, he moves rapidly but not losing strength in each plunge, his cock greeting the cervix with a deep kiss every time he enters

"oneesan/jiejie you should know better than to tease me like that"

you bite his shoulder in response, unable to speak anything more than gibberish at this moment, "look at how well you're taking me, does being in the car turn you on?" he eggs on, knowing fully well that just being with him is a turn on, the man eludes pheromones and he's just fucking sinful, the embodiment of lust

you're sure if anyone were to walk on the street at this moment, they'd not only see the vigorous shaking of the car, but the moans you were trying so hard to hide are leaking, all nonsense cause he's already fucked you dumb, and all you want right now is to feel his thick cum in you

"f-fuck, in-inside me please"

your voice shakes from the intense rocking and you hear him chuckle in response as he slows down, you mewl in disappointment, you were so close! he smirks and asks "jiejie/oneesan, what do you want inside?""you know what..." he thrusts, unsatisfied with your response "hmm I won't know unless you tell me clearly tho, o-ne-e-san/jie-jie" fuck his bratty side taking over, you hate it but it fucking turns you on

you try to glare at him, but he thrusts in again, teasing you, he knows fully well what you want, but he won't give it to you until you beg for it

"your cum inside me" "inside where, jiejie/oneesan?" he's really starting to annoy you now, and you try to take control, attempting to grind your ass, and invoking the climax you so desperately want yourself, but he knows you well, and grabs hold of your ass, and lifts it slowly, as a threat, that he'll pull out and leave both you and him unsatisfied (it totally works on you)

"i want your big dick to cum inside my pussy" he raises his eyebrows, not hearing the magic word. "Please" you begged, and he smirked, satisfied by the hold he has on you. and he re-sheaths himself in you, groaning happily by your wet warmth, this is where he belongs, his dick in your cunt, his dick was made to rearrange your guts

he lifts you up and puts you on the steering wheel, giving him a better access to your sloppy pussy and the view of your jiggling breast was a sight to behold. he holds on to your waist as he plunges you deep, digging at your cervix, his end goal, he wants to fuck a baby in you and that's where his cum needs to be. he begins to ram inside you with extreme pace and strength (man this man is really sucking out your energy to fuck you) and you can feel his cock throb and you know he's close, and so are you

you reach your end first, your walls clamping hard on to him, he lets out a growl, you're making this harder for him to push deeper in you, but with a few more presses he reaches his climax too, shooting thick ropes of hot cum in you, painting his destination white

you breath heavily as he tries to fuck the overcrowded cum back into you, but really pushing more out with his movement, he curses, then smiles at you, promising to fill you up with more when you get home

you weren't sure what happens after, as you blacked out from exhaustion and heat, the car was humid, windows fogged up from body heat, and it smelt of sex, the last thing on your mind was thanking the tech now for putting car horns on another spot, else the car would be beeping nonstop. the next time you woke, you were in bed, and Marius was doing as he promised, fucking more cum into your pussy

"oh onee-san/jiejie, you're awake, you're just in time for round 5"

why am i writing this at 12am (also i wrote so much more compared to last time) so god help if my dialogue is cringe also i gave up on trying to spell check (do u think grammarly will make me delete my vile stuff (delete me pls)

i've been staring at the perfume yes im too broke for it but corriander??? (he does look like the type to eat corriander)

WHAT SHOULD I WRITE ABOUT NEXT?

#tot x reader #tot smut #marius von hagen smut #marius tears of themis #tears of themis smut #lu jinghe #izumi kei #lu jinghe x reader #tears of themis x reader

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hellsbroadcaster · 8 days

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I feel bad because I haven't really done much here. I don't really like using my health as an excuse but its genuinely what it is. I'm exhausted all the time. This steroid medication is the worst and its going on 8 whole month's I've been taking it. I've gained a ton of weight, like it doesn't feel normal. my body aches all the time. I feel like I'm pregnant. none of my clothes fit me anymore which only leads to more of my inner self loathing which I hate because after my last relationship i really worked hard to build myself up. And it felts like every time I think I'm getting better SOMETHING happens. and I try so hard to not let it get to me.

It took me years to stop being in denial about diabetes. i almost had to die before I started to accept that this was my life. and ive been proud and worked very hard to get where I am with it. not I feel like I'm failing again cuz the steroids work against them. my A1C went up, and i'm just so disappointed by it. I've been having some manner of fatigue about taking my meds. which i usually dont but i find myself taking them later and later in the day. Sunday, I opted to not take the steroid and with only ONE day it made me feel horribly sick. this blood disorder really is the worst. the fact that i cant go one day without it or it'll really make me sick just annoys the crap out of me. I hate it. i hate not having control on it. also when i talked to my therapist she talks about how trauma has a lot to do with your health and how it effects your body. and when I think back to all the trauma i've experienced within the last 6 years? it makes sense the way my body is just trying to kill me. because what are the odds I get a rare blood disease like really.

and I hate talking about it because I feel like such a burden. when people ask me how i'm doing and i say okay because if I tell them its day three and I still feel like shit like ppl get tired eventually. i always have to act like i'm good at home anyway because otherwise I'll hear my mom say 'oh its always something with you' like i asked for this shit.

I guess my point is, I really wanna be more active but I put all my energy into work because its such a complicated job, and if I slack off even a little its a pain in the ass to get caught back up and so its always frustrating when I have to take off and i come back to a mess despite me leaving it perfect for the person who is backing me up. they wont pay me FMLA, and I have to take off at least one day a week to make appointments for this illness. i technically work the full 80 hours but on the days i work 12s i cant take a lunch, i have to get up earlier. and its already draining for me. so by the time I get off work, I don't even wanna transition to my laptop. but I love being here and i have so much fun so i try my best. lately tho, I look at my drafts and I have so much muse but no energy at all. i promise i am working on it. I really just ask for patience. being in this fandom has been the most fun i've had on tumblr in a very long time.

my hope with this new medication I am getting, they will start to tamper me off the steroids, and my energy will start to come back as the dose goes down. my fingers are crossed honestly.

#⌜off the air⌟ . // ooc #health / mention.#delete later #sorry ndslfndskl this has been in my head and I just needed to write it down to get it out of my head #fndskflnsdklf #just chronically ill things

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lazaruspiss · 1 month

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your ship, character and fandom opinions are so based. i'm also a poly robin shipper so it's nice to see there are more of us here. anyway, i'd love to hear what are your all time favorite dc ships and why, and if you have any headcanons (sfw and nsfw) about them. or you can just ramble about any fic ideas you have, the ones you've mentioned already are very interesting.

thank u for the compliments and also the many things to talk about!! <3 mwah! (readmore added bc of length)

picking a favorite ship is so hard, because im a multishipper and real big on leaving my options open so that i have the most opportunity in any given story!! like, brudick and sladick are both ones i love for dark stories, but they each give such different angles and paths that you can take. all combinations of robins are dear to me for different reasons. and even within the context of one ship, i can usually come up with a lot of different directions that they can go it!!

i can't even say "X is my favorite for Y types of stories" because with a good pairing theres so much you can do with a variety of types of stories!! so. def cant pick a favorite, but i can list some that i like! they mostly involve Dick, bc my biases are quite obivious, lol.

Dick ships: Bruce, Slade, Talia, Slade/Talia, Tim, Jason, Steph, Damian (but it depends a lot on context, i see Dick as being very careful about not taking advantage), any poly robins combo, Slade/Rose, Tara

other ships: Slade/Rose, Slade/Talia, any robins together, Bruce/Talia (but only if Talia is having daddy issues about it), Nyssa/Talia (Nyssa repeatedly kills and revives her to make her understand her anger at Ra's. the rituals. they're intricate i swear-)(but also in arkham knight Nyssa compares her love for Talia to Bruce's explicitly romantic love for Talia and i've never been normal about that), any combo of the Al Ghuls tbh they're so mentally ill about each other

so uhhhhhh. really you could pitch any Dick ship at me and get me talking. if anyone wants to ask about that list ur welcome to lol

fic ideas!!! i have some shorter ones, like a Blackfire/Robin non-con based on that one scene from tt03, but i kinda wanna take this chance to ramble about my longer ideas!

u may have seen some of these, but i have a series called "days without incident" which is a bunch of shorter than usual fics stringing together random semi canon compliant scenes of Dick being in dangerous sexual situations, which are eventually going to end in a rlly angsty fic of Dick being assaulted and just accepting it. it sounds dark, and it is, but due to the length and format they really just serve as quick writing warm-ups more than anything.

DIDick AU. a friend of mine has been on the receiving end of so many DMs of me fleshing out these alter OCs, to the point that it would feel weird if I didn't write anything for it. the problem is that when I think about it, it all revolves around characters and there's no real plot line to use for it. I could just rant about it, bc figuring out what I want to do for a story about them is really tricky. it's also tough bc it's a teeny bit more personal than I usually go for. do /I/ have DID? unclear. I probably wouldn't tell you either way. anyways, it's an idea i want to more with but it's just more complicated to work on than most others.

suicide fic. "Where The Dead Stay Dead", title in reference to this being in a "Jason Stays Dead AU". i want to take a sort of dark comedy direction, but i have trouble controlling how the tone ends up when I write. Dick tries to kill himself post Jason's death + many other bad times but Slade just happens to pop in to try and bother him that day, and is uh. he doesn't know how to feel about it, the kid dying in front of him, but he drags Dick to a safe house and does some made-up comic book science fuckery to give Dick his healing factor. Dick is not very happy about this when he wakes up. the rest of the story follows an arrangement where Dick searches for a way to perma die and is generally a depressed grumpy bitch about everything, and Slade secretly tries to get him to stop doing that while trying to figure out a way to revive Jason. whichever ends up being easier. a lot of it would probably just be about Slade feeling lost with this "new" version of Dick, as well as the two of them swapping stories about dead loved ones and learning how to mourn.

timcel fic. that was the placeholder title, before i settled on "Nature's Order (As Told From Alpha To Beta)", but i still call it the timcel fic for short <3 the alpha in that title is Ra's, and the beta is Tim. the kick off for the story is that Ra's kidnaps omega Dick to use as a human incubator bc he and Talia had a spat that's left him heir-less, and he kidnaps Tim to make Dick more compliant. it's a really extreme take on "right wing alpha male pipeline, but omegaverse". it's gonna be a lot of bad times for Dick <3 i've talked about it so much with my friend that one time they mentioned basing smth partially off of Nature's Order Tim, and I think that's a good sign that I should really be writing this properly at this point. I have started chapter one! but bc it's gonna be a long one I want to get three chapters done before I start posting, bc having a few extra chapters written will help with my nerves a bit.

#asks #anon #uhhh that was a lot lol #feel free to ask follow up questions...?

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kimseokjinn · 4 months

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hi. genuinely how do you deal with this fandom? i am reaching burnt out levels of exhaustion dealing with its whining, witch hunting underdog complex. i get things have been rough but some of them really act out like children. worse, like headless chicken who can't be trusted in society. the level of pettiness infantilization and almost cult like behavior that some parts of it are exhibiting is honestly worrying. and that's without mentioning the feeling of entitlement to the members private moments. i just. so goddamn tired of it all. i have tired but i dont think i can keep interact with it as closely as I've been doing

and i cant speak for them, but I fear the members are also getting sick of it

I simply curate my fandom experience that benefits my level of well-being.

In the beginning, I will admit that I engaged in ridiculous fandom arguments over the idea that Jungkook was essentially carrying BTS on his back. This was back when people loved to make comments about wanting to see Jin enlisting and not being a part of the band because he was a "terrible singer and dancer". Or, that Joon was ugly. After a few months, I decided to step back and realize that these fandom wars were doing nothing but ruining my enjoyment of being an Army.

I decided to limit my time on Twitter because that was a continuous cesspool of nasty armchairs that had no problem putting a lil 7 in their display names while bashing any member that wasn't their bias. Twitter was also being overrun by the deluded shippers who thought that taekook or jikook were in this ill-fated secret relationship. I had to step back and stop before I ended up leaving the fandom altogether

(I will admit that when taemins album was dropping, I went and argued with people who were losing their shit over a song name and album cover💀😅. )

I decided that Tumblr was going to be the only platform where I interacted with the fandom, and while I have been out of the loop, I've still maintained the same love and enjoyment I had when I first joined the fandom.

I don't know what it's been like on other platforms in terms of the things you listed, but I can only imagine it's escalated in the 7 years I've been in this fandom. So many new and ignorant people enter the fandom to incite problems, so it's better to block and move on.

Frankly, it wouldn't be that much of an assumption to assume that they are annoyed with. I mean, it's been 10 years of nonsense. How many times has Jungkook had to change his phone number? How many times has Taehyung straight up said that he doesn't like the "fans" screaming in their faces at the airport? How many lives have we seen people asking Jungkook invasive questions? This man avoided the internet for a long time, and when he decides to give us multiple lives, some people act like self entitled brats and think they deserve an all-access pass into his life. The infantilization of jungkook alone probably upset him more than we know. I mean, one of their last fan signs had JK receiving baby-related things. He was in his early 20s for crying out loud. Talk about insulting.

Sorry for my novel, but I simply recommend cutting out the stressful things and focusing on maintaining your love for BTS and the fandom in a capacity that is healthy for you even if that means removing certain aspects.

#sorry this is so long but tldr decide what your comfortable with and cut out everything else #for me it's tumblr army and tumblr army only #i am blessedly out of the loop and i like it that way #i only use twitter bc i get notifs from their main channel and bts merchandise notification #i made the mistake of going through reddit army and never again #people are just as annoying and rude on reddit as they are on twitter #asks

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hergan416 · 1 year

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IN THE MEANTIME

Ahem Let's look at the DARK Night of London please

spoilers/etc/etc/

Ok the Whiteley stuff goes down close to the anime (Why are Milverton's goons fighting Fred and Bonde and Louis? This is honestly confusing... maybe it's because something in the manga's about to get cut? I know this is how the anime delivers the message that brings William to Milverton's estate at the same time as Holmes... I assume that there is going to be more Moriarty focus re: Milverton in the manga because he just seems better poised in the manga right now? So this must be a way to get him there because iirc in the anime we get a Sherlock arc and then we are at the Milverton estate.)

God if this pacing is how I think it'll be... will the Final Problem even be started by volume 12? And I won't get that until July. [I have been told it starts in 13 now so uhhhh yeaaaaa. There isn't even a date for 13 😭😭😭]

Ok ok ok. BUT SHERLOCK HOLMES

I need to talk about Sherlock Holmes and not bemoan my lack of manga.

I need to talk about how Miss Hudson interrupts his little depression den that he's made while John is out and about getting engaged to the Governess from a past case...handing him the newspaper. This fucking newspaper.

He knows, by the way. He's convinced himself. Mycroft specifically asks, and this is what we get.

Not enough time has passed, he suspected it then. He's thinking about Will doing this. He knows Liam did it.

"The bastard did what??"

But I love how he knows Liam well enough at this point to come to the right conclusions.

The country turns on the Lord of Crime on a dime. This is horrendous, unimaginable. He cannot POSSIBLY have the people's best interests at heart. And yet, Holmes manages to lay out out exactly what happened to Mycroft. As a slim, improbable chance... but something that however improbable must be true.

"If we assume it's true that the Lord of Crime never murders innocents, then if he killed Whiteley we must also assume that the MP was guilty of some crime. My hunch is that crime was murder, but the MP was forced into committing that murder by a third party."

...

"If word got out that Whiteley'd murdered a man, the scandal would cripple Britain's equality movement. The Lord of Crime's chivalrous spirit wouldn't allow him to turn a blind eye."

🎉🎉🎉

Ok Ok ok but. then. MYCROFT

OH GOD MYCROFT

Trying to tell Sherly a clue, just a little clue... but as vaguely as humanly possible and SHERLOCK CANT FUCKING READ HIS BROTHER WORTH SHIT SO HE IS JUST MISSING THE SLIP OF THE LANGUAGE

It's so subtle. "And they can act." Who is they? Sherlock doesn't know that while this is William's scheme, he is not the only culprit.

This is Mycroft trying to tell Sherly that William (and the others) plan to die soon. They will carry out the Moriarty Plan, without waiting for Sherlock Holmes.

Sure he talks of government assassins and everyone else that will be gunning for the Lord of Crime's head...but really the person gunning for the Lord of Crime's head the hardest... is the Lord of Crime.

And Sherlock doesn't know. Mycroft seems to want to tell him... but their relationship is built on points and scores and one-upmanship and gentle corrections that are so frustrating because they are always losses for Sherlock. Besides, Mycroft could never tell Sherly outright, Sherlock wouldn't have it and he's obligated to keep it a secret regardless.

So he's just pushing him to keep going, find the brothers before it's too late. Which honestly feels so sad for me. Because I'm pretty sure that this is a demonstration of Mycroft's caring for the brothers. (I know fandom will tell me to say Albert specifically, but I have to be honest, I ship mycal because of the fandom and I don't see textual evidence for it specifically).

And so it leaves Sherlock here

with no new information, even as Mycroft tried to give him some.

And... the Sign of Four is about to happen. Or the sign of Mary. Or whatever. So many things to think about Sherlock, what ever will you do?

#sherlock holmes (ynm)#moriarty the patriot #will i be utterly quiet between now and april?#doubt it #but this is probably the last or one of the last long analysis posts for a while

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