#(( saying WE NEED TO TALK is highly un-recommended to people with anxiety ))

[ask-meowscarada]

Hey Jack...you're losing a lot of petals there. Might want to get that checked out.

Party Trick: “YOU. WE NEED TO TALK.”

Blackjack: “…”

#(( expect the follow up post to this one soon enough!! )) #blackjack roserade #tricky hatterene #answered #art post #long post #cw injury #cw burns #(( let me know if you need anything else tagged here )) #BlackjacksAce #ic #(( by the way )) #(( saying WE NEED TO TALK is highly un-recommended to people with anxiety )) #(( but these two know each others' boundaries ))

[catholicartistsnyc]

Meet Nashville-based Artist Rae Hering

RAE HERING is a Nashville, TN-based musician and songwriter. 

Official Website | Patreon

CATHOLIC ARTIST CONNECTION (CAC): Where are you from originally, and what brought you to Nashville?

RAE HERING (RH): I’m originally from Minneapolis, MN and moved to Nashville to study piano and composition at Belmont University. 

CAC: What do you see as your personal mission as a Catholic working in the arts?

RH: My mission as a Catholic working in the arts is to create what is true, good and beautiful. Sometimes a song is simply fun and lighthearted, sometimes a song explores self-discovery and growth and sometimes a song focuses in on imperfections and failings. I don’t think every song needs to spell out a moral or include a pretty bow to wrap up the “ideal” way of being. In fact, I think art is often more effective if you let the listener decide what to think.

While my primary genre isn’t Christian music I have to say that I recently released my first Christian-themed song! So, I’m now exploring what it means to be a singer/songwriter who sometimes writes explicitly about Christian Faith and sometimes writes about “just life,” as seen through the eyes of a Christian.

CAC: Where have you found support in the Church for your vocation as an artist?

RH: I have found tremendous support in being a part of the ecclesial movement Regnum Christi (RC). In fact, the Holy Spirit had a chance to move me to write my first Christian song, “Closer to Me,” because of my involvement in RC. I was asked to prepare five worship songs for our annual retreat and when I had worked up four I thought, “well, maybe I could write one?”

Before this moment I hadn’t been very open to the idea of writing Christian music, so I know that God was working on my heart here. I also believe that through the prayers of RC members and through my commitment to being an apostle through RC, God was able to use this simple moment to open me up to writing in this new way. 

CAC: Where have you found support among your fellow artists for your Catholic faith?

RH: There’s a group here in Nashville called Catholics United for the Arts. They aim to bring together Catholic artists for prayer, camaraderie and to help deepen our mission as Catholic artists. I was fortunate to be a part of their 40 Days for Life fundraiser this past year where they brought in Catholics speakers who work in various artistic fields to give down-to-earth, practical talks about being a person of faith in their artistic industries. These kinds of talks are so needed!

Also, Love Good is a wonderful Nashville-based movement that promotes and supports wholesome secular music. Their mission is to change the culture - to change how we perceive good art. What an awesome mission!

CAC: How can the Church be more welcoming to artists, and how can the artistic world be more welcoming to artists of faith?

RH: Just a thought: what if we didn’t put songs of faith in a box and separated them from secular music? Must we choose between being a Christian artist and a secular artist? These are thoughts I am currently working through and I don’t have the answers right now…

Thinking back to the time in my life where I stepped away from the Faith, there was nothing attractive to me about worship music; it felt totally un-relatable. This memory is what motivates me now as a practicing Catholic to create Christian-inspired music that IS relatable to someone like my former self. I’m not saying to do away with worship music because it is indeed a beautiful form of prayer. But I think there is a gap that needs to be filled here. Why is there such a chasm between Christian and secular music? Is there an in-between spot where we can sing about the Gospel in a way that is intriguing and not overbearing to people who may have lost their faith along the way? I think so.

CAC: Where in your city do you regularly find spiritual fulfillment?

RH: I’m a member of St. Edward parish. One of my favorite groups there is the Padre Pio Prayer Group. St. Pio is one of the saints who helped me come back to the Church and is so active in our world today if we just ask for his help! St. Pio, pray for us!

Also, as I mentioned above, I’m a member of Regnum Christi (RC). Like all apostolate movements, RC came from and is led by the Holy Spirit. In these movements God brings believers together through a common charism or style of living out our faith. The structure of these movements is often likened to early church communities where Christians gathered in small, organically-formed communities. I love RC because it strives to give each member the essential tools needed to live and grow as a Christian in union with the authority of the Catholic Church: prayer, formation, apostleship, accompaniment and community. It has truly been my launch pad as an apostle of Jesus Christ.

CAC: What is your daily spiritual practice? And if you have a spiritual director, how did you find that person? If you go on retreats, where do you like to go?

RH: Along with regular Mass, Adoration and Confession I meet with an RC spiritual director each month. I urge everyone to seek out a spiritual director - in my opinion, it’s the “secret sauce” to living out a spirit-filled life!

I attend an annual RC Spiritual Exercises Silent Retreat held at the Bethany Retreat Center in Dickson, TN. I HIGHLY recommend this retreat center. It’s run by the Dominican Sisters and let me tell you, Christ’s Peace is overflowing there! They host many retreats throughout the year so do see if you can visit!

What I’m honing in on in my spiritual practice lately is that daily prayer is the true battlefield. As a person who is always ready to get going on the next project or activity I have a tendency to justify why I don’t have time for personal prayer. In reality prayer is where I am able to allow God to work in my life. This is where He gives me all my good ideas! If I don’t show up for prayer I am turning away from my personal relationship with God. If I don’t show up for prayer Satan has already taken the upper hand on my heart. Prayer is a battlefield and is the true food of the soul.

CAC: What is your daily artistic practice?

RH: I find it’s helpful to get into creative mode first thing in the morning (well, after a cup of coffee, of course!) If I don’t do this I really diminish my chances of tapping into the “creative zone” because all the practicalities of the day start taking hold.

With that being said, I need practical days, too, where I intentionally DON’T try to write a song. If I have too many days where I allow myself to be primarily wrapped up in the creative process I end up with anxiety because I haven’t been keeping up with the more practical side of life.

CAC: Describe a recent day in which you were most completely living out your vocation as an artist.

RH: Playing house concerts is a great example of this! I’ve always felt that performing “completes the circle” as a songwriter because sharing the songs I write really is the whole point of writing them. My goal is to move others and be a witness to them through my music! House concerts have the added element of providing an environment where you are very up-close with the guests. You have an extra opportunity to bond and connect. As we know from our faith, relationship is at the heart of Christianity, so I am thankful for these house concert opportunities.

CAC: How do you afford housing as an artist?

RH: My husband and I were fortunate to be able to buy a house this past August! We were very motivated because we knew my sister-in-law needed a place to live so we decided to look for a house that would be suitable for all three of us. Living with my sister-in-law not only makes it easier to afford a better living condition but it is also such a blessing to be around family. 

CAC: How do you financially support yourself as an artist?

RH: All my income comes from music in one way or another. Many independent artists find that it’s smart to widen our income stream variety because each source is likely to provide smaller amounts. For me these things include:tips from livestream shows, merchandise sales, Patreon contributions, house concerts and tours, music lessons, royalties, streaming revenue and studio musician work.

A large chunk of my income comes from tips and donations. This can inspire both deep gratitude and, admittedly, frustration. If the donations are not coming in I can be tempted to de-value myself and my work. This is such a huge pitiful for us artists because we tend to center our identities around our talent and output. I have to remember that my value is in being a Child of God, not in the amount of money I make from my art. But I would be lying if I said this is not a constant battle!

CAC: What other practical resources would you recommend to a Catholic artist living in your city?

RH: If you are in the music industry check out the weekly meet up group Balanced Breakfast. Actually, there are BB groups that meet all around the world, so there may be one in your city. There is always a discussion topic of the day but I think the best part is simply meeting and connecting with other artists.

CAC: What are your top 3 pieces of advice for Catholic artists post-graduation?

RH: 1.) You are never too busy for prayer.

2.) Offer your talents up to God as a sacrifice on His altar, especially at every Mass you attend.

3.) Invite the Holy Spirit into your creative work regularly.

#catholic #catholic artist #catholic artists #music #musician #nashville #catholic artist connection #rae hering #belmont university #catholics united for the arts #regnum christi #love good #st. edward #padre pio #padre pio prayer group #bethany retreat center #balanced breakfast

[faveanimeships]

Hi!! This for a match up for Haikyuu!! I’m a ENFJ who’s a short (also packin’ that thicc thighs & ass) gay boy. I’m a Virgo who’s a hard worker (most my classes are honors/AP) but also procrastinate. People tell me I have a very calm & trusting vibe so people always come to me when they need help or have a secret. I enjoy writing & traveling. I’m pretty dorky & nerdy as in I love learning random new things & am involved with my school’s mock government & model un programs. [PT 1]

People also say I’m very funny & I highly enjoy memes & am overall very witty. I suffer from ocd, depression, & anxiety but do what I can to be my best. I enjoy affection (especially cuddling). I’m a very supportive person & love being my friend’s hype man. Oh & I love Disney movies & Bruno Mars lmao. If you need more, just message me (I hope I covered everything lol). Thank you so much!! I’m so excited!! [PT 2-final part]

Ok firST OFF IM SO SORRY FOR DOING THIS SO LATE TUT ples forgive me TUT I hope you like it !!!

You are an extrovert, outgoing, you plan ahead, you look at the future possibilities and focus on the social side of things. You are also loyal, kind, hardworking and analytical, hence your involvement in the mock government and model UN programs!!! You seek connection with others, you ponder over “what if” scenarios, seek for the best alternative that will make the majority of the people happy- this is achieved through your ability to gather your experiences, insights and research to form like a plan, that will ultimately be the catalyst to action. People look up to you and admire you for your qualities, you are an amazing and empathetic leader who considers things thoroughly. HOWEVER!!! You are pretty self-critical, you work too hard and you push yourself too much, which is tiring and you wear yourself out.  

I SHIP YOU WITH !!!

Terushima Yuuji

Terushima is childish, energetic, persistent and he loves to play around. He can come off as non-committal or someone who doesn’t take anything seriously. But in reality, he’s just a bit distracted all the time. He takes pride in his non-committal attitude but like he’d need someone who knows how to reel his ass in when he’s too playful or going out of hand. He may pout and whine alot, but he appreciates you when you reel his ass in. As mentioned, he appears as non- committal and plays around like its no one’s business, but when he falls in love, he falls in deep, and he’d love someone like you - his polar opposite to be with him. People say polar opposites don’t really work but I think it takes someone like Terushima to work a polar opposites relationship.

It is canon that Terushima is a smart boy, and he’s in one of the best classes in his school, he’d look like a dumb jock but he might be good at roasting people, but you’d serve it right back at him hot and toasty, and he’d just fall in love with you because of that hot comeback. ALSO we all know he’s a total slob so like he really looks up to you when you work hard, and he loves looking at you study or when you tell him about random facts or like ideas you would potentially propose to the mock government/ UN programs. Terushima is also a pretty spontaneous guy (considering his reputation), he’d absolutely love it if you invited him to one of your trips- he knows how to party so like, both of you would have lots of fun!!!

Terushima might be playful and loud, but he can be observant and quiet when he needs to. He would do his best to act as your rock when you need him, he’d hold your hand tightly or just be with you when you need him when you’re anxious, or feeling under the weather. I don’t know much about OCD, but he’d do some research beforehand so he’d know what to do/ or what not to do or say. Terushima is a very touchy- feely person and wouldn’t be afraid to show affection. I reckon PDA is something you would expect in a relationship with Terushima. NOT ONLY THAT, Terushima loves to rest so if he catches you being too hard on yourself/ working too hard and is in need of a break he would do ANYTHING to get your attention and lure you to bed so you can get your well deserved break. He would also just drag you somewhere spontaneously, maybe when you have a writer’s block?? He would bring you on small and fun dates, be it a small restaurant he found online, or a pretty garden during spring, he’d make sure you get to relax and also probably provide new ideas for you! He’d provide wacky and weird scenarios and you’d just go along and plot with him!!!

I think both of you would try to make time for each other and also disney movie marathon is a must!! He absolutely adores you when you sing along to the disney songs. He’d take candid photos of you snuggling up next to him and watching Disney movies. The relationship would be a very fun, sometimes loud and loving relationship!

Things Terushima likes:

When you sing along to Disney songs

Hot comebacks

When you sit on his lap

When you lean on him

When you come to his volleyball matches

When you feed him his favourite sausage bread

Lazy weekends

Walks!!

Breaks with him

Travelling with you

I also ship you with (more under the cut)

Akaashi Keiji

Keiji is calm, collected, indifferent and very analytical. He’s also very blunt, smart, humble and cheeky. He wouldn’t talk a lot and most likely be an introvert, but he will make YOU talk. He loves to plot with you, listen to you talk about weird facts, and will help you with your proposals when you are preparing for an upcoming UN model event or a school event. If you ever need advice, or like an unbiased opinion, Akaashi would be glad to help out. Like you, Akaashi is also a very hard worker but he knows his limits. He would also know your limit. He’d make sure you get plenty of rest and make sure that you’re constantly taking a break when you study. He’d also be there for you when you need it. He won’t be the affectionate boyfriend, he’d probably choose to sit next to you quietly, reading a book, but he’s open for hugs, kisses or hand holding but you’d need to initiate it. However, because Akaashi is very observant he’d detect your mood and think about what he should do so he can support and comfort you. He’d be polite and careful about boundaries and would be very careful not to do or say something that might make you feel uneasy.

As mentioned, Akaashi is cheeky, blunt and smart, and would provide you with both witty comments and comebacks, you’d find both of you engaged in a quiet, friendly and witty banter sometimes. He loves it though!!! He might provoke you a little sometimes, and even tease you with his poker face, but he’d make sure he’d still be respectful about it and wouldn’t say anything that might offend you. He’s very careful with these things. ALSO Akaashi is probably a huge bookworm and he’d absolutely love it if you let him read things you write. Be it a simple poem, or a random passage you’ve written because you were inspired, he would read it and provide insightful comments and thoughts. Akaashi would also give you book recommendations and would be very happy if both of you got to discuss about the book.

I feel like Akaashi would be the type of boyfriend who calls his lover at night before they sleep. He calls frequently during exam periods, so you’d take a break when you’re over the phone. Akaashi would also bring food over for you when he thinks you’re not eating enough. He’d take care of you and your parents would absolutely love him. He would plan dates with you every once in a while and even make plans for roadtrips because he loves you and wants you to share that passion you have with him. He’d be very thankful and happy if you turned up to watch him play during his volleyball matches. If you bought like a small treat for him and give him a hug after the match, he’d blush like crazy, the volleyball team will tease yall for being “young love” but it’s all good because everyone is happy!! It’s a very calming and respectful relationship.

Morisuke Yaku

Yaku is funny, responsible, short tempered, straightforward, honest and confident. He also has his maternal side and loves to look out for people. Yaku is super underrated, and definitely deserves more love. This is a king who is respected by everyone!!! We love King Yaku!!! Anyways!! Yaku would be attracted to how hard working you are, and obviously how hard you push yourself. This in return triggers his maternal side, urging him to care for you and make sure you’re taking frequent breaks and all. He’d also prepare small snacks for you when you go to a model program or when you’re busy running the school council. Knowing Yaku, he’s probably involved in the school council somehow, and he’d always look out for you and trying to help you with your responsibilities. He won’t be a big fan of spontaneous things, and would plan everything thoroughly, be it a date or a trip! Not only that, it is canon that Yaku is a sass king and would serve you all kinds of comebacks ranging from funny to witty to hot roast, and he will NEVER fail to surprise and impress you with his comebacks. He’d be okay about PDA, if you initiate it in public, he’d gladly reciprocate, he initiates affection mostly in private though.

ALSO Yaku may be a big fan of Disney movies too and would always be up to binge with you or even discuss about plots. He’d also be a big fan of your writing and would always encourage you to write more; sometimes he’d give you ideas, hoping to inspire you. He loves it when you smile and enjoy doing something you love, he enjoys watching you relax. He would also love it if you’d talk to him about your day or trivial things. I feel like Yaku would also look for random facts to share with you, and you’d share random facts with each other, it might be a daily routine to share random facts with each other!!!!

Sugawara Koushi

Cute dates- cafes, amusement parks

Cheeky grins

Lunchboxes

PDA

Suga’s amazing 6th sense and him giving you amazing advice

Binge reading manga together

Lazy weekends

Ramen nights

Movie marathons + takeout

Lots of cuddles !!!  

I hope you like it !!! >///

#asks #ships #haikyuu #haikyuu ships #seijuroww #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu matchups

[iamsamway]

More thoughts on Love

Thoughts on Love – Here, inspired by your thoughts on what ‘True Love’ is on Instagram are some of my ideas, and also thoughts and from some of the most seminal figures in literature who have made it part of their life’s work to understand and feel the depth of all this four letter word inspires. Lastly - a poem of my own...just because...

 I have heard of Love spoken about as being the most fundamental force in the universe. It’s difficulty with words, themselves trappings, to wrestle with the vast and complex feelings - and the many ways Love can manifest in our heads, bodies and spirits – that this word in particular (the most overused in all song writing) inspires.

 On true Love - I think there is Love in truth, as there is truth in Love, but what is true is always subjective on experience. Even what is objective, what can be seen and agreed on, is often looked at from a singular paradigm, our unique way of interpreting the world. Honest love, could be a condition of ‘True Love’ , faithful love could also be one, and from there having faith in Love itself as a force that could guide you ‘Truly’, that is to say ‘Well’ is an interesting idea.

 True love is always felt in the present, in this moment. I think it’s a deep, accepting, surrendering, peaceful and life affirming, spiritual experience that is not necessarily dependant on gazing into the eyes of somebody else, but can be found on our own too. Maybe it’s right there in front of you, or within you all along. Can we practise ‘True love’ in all we do? By finding a quality of presence, a commitment to our passions, acting from our centre with all the compassion me can rouse, a kindness to ourselves, the earth, and the people circling our lives.

 Some say true love is unconditional – it doesn’t need to posses, and loves for the sake of loving alone, and one could argue, it doesn’t just survive the test of time, or the trials of life, but exists outside of them both entirely. Something not so much ‘lost’ or ‘gained’ but more something you become reconnected too.

 Finally, I think to say that an experience of ‘True Love’ could almost be like a meditation, it takes great discipline, but it’s something you can ultimately bring conscious practise too.

...

 A note on self love –  (I wrote this back in 2012…jeeeeezzzz)

Do you love yourself?

And if you don’t…then I urge you, with all your might, to discover why.

Understanding this is the first step on what I feel is the most important journey we can ever go on. The journey of love. It’s no doubt one of the hardest, but also maybe the most rewarding. Now the love I talk about here has nothing to do with vanity, or narcissism but more a deep, constantly connected feeling of self worth, respect and care. This is not a love that loves on some days and not on others, this love is unconditional, this love is constant, this love is transformative. For only when we have built this unconditional love in ourselves, will we be able to shower it, purely, on others, and in turn, let others really love us back.

If you fundamentally believe yourself to be unlovable and are using love as an escape from yourself – when someone ‘brilliant, and amazing’ – all the things you think you’re not - turns to say they love you, they distort your own worldview, they make you wrong. How could ‘they’, love someone like ‘you’ you might think to you yourself, so firmly attached, and ignorant, to your own script, they must not be all you thought they were in the first place, and you hence you sabotage everything because nothing discredits them further than loving the ‘un-loveable’ YOU..

So can we even begin to build this unconditional love in ourselves?  What’s stopping you? A pain in the past? The way you look in the mirror? Somebody else? You’re the only one who knows, and you’re the only who can do anything about it. Know this - you are deserving of love, no matter what, and remember this love, this unconditional love, accepts you for all that you are, for all that you’ve done and for all that you’ll do. If you believe in a God, this is the sort of love God would give you…so…be your own God…inspire that love in yourself, and through that, inspire others too.

Thoughts from others -

…

 The Art of loving. By Erich Fromm……. 

In attempting to Understand Love (point 30 something in my Bucket List – See below) I’ve been reading ‘The Art of Loving’ by Erich Fromm.  First published in 1957, some of his views are old fashioned, but regardless an exceptionally insightful book. Here summarised my thoughts. All quotes are from the book…which I highly recommend you read.

Is love an art? Should we treat it as one? And is love the most sacred art, a lost one perhaps, that we can devote our life too? Any artist works at his art, constantly seeking to improve and adjust his theoretical understanding and engaging himself physically in the experiences that will lead him to the next level; the next level of depth and understanding.  A real artist shows commitment to his art..and this…this real commitment to love is maybe what we’re missing.

In our culture we’ve come to adopt a view that ‘love’ is this magical, illusive thing that comes from nowhere, sweeps us away and recues us from the fear of being alone. Love in this capacity is fleeting, inconsistent and temperamental…all traits I’m sure we can agree one does not want in a lover. “Most people see the problem of love as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.” Hence the question arises ‘Am I lovable? How can I make myself more so? More pretty, More desirable. How can I make people fall in love with me?’ These are the questions we ask, questions that make us feel depressed and un-worthy when really we should be turning the emphasis inward and really asking ‘How can I increase my capacity to love.’ In the society we live in, one driven by the free markets and our insatiable appetite to consume, we have been conditioned to swallow everything, films, food, sights and people. “We have become a commodity, alienated from our fellow men and from ourselves. Transformed into a commodity” and this brings up feeling of anxiety, fear, and separateness. We have built a world where love is on the bottom of peoples priorities. How much am I worth? Am I a good investment? Our society is built to run on fear…So where is loves role in all this? How can we re-orient ourselves around love and escape from cyclical consumption?

 “The deepest need of man is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave his prison of aloneness”

Do you feel alone? We were born into the natural world, in touch with it and it was a part of us. You only have to look at all the totems and practises of tribal cultures to see just how important our relationship with nature was. And it still is, but I think sometimes we forget this. Now as we move farther and farther away from nature, away from living in a supportive communities, as we used to,  it’s no wonder that now more than ever we feel alone. I don’t know any of my neighbours. Riding the tube into London everyone is silent, in their own world, playing games on their I-phone or zoning out to music which throbs in their ears. There are people all around you, but still, you’re alone. Now I ask the question….Can one person truly complete you? In the present climate is there a danger that love is being idealised as the only path to salvation?

I think it takes great strength to be alone. Some of the most creative and influential people in the world were solitary creatures. Being able to be alone is really important. (I highly recommend reading the book Solitude by Anthony Storr to find out more about the link between creativity and isolation) But one man in no man and we need each other to flourish. Eric Fromm believes there are different ways to attain this unity we all desire but the “full answer lies in the achievement of interpersonal union, of fusion with another person in love"

What do you think? Is love being put on a pedestal as our last hope for connection or like Erich do you believe that a mature, reciprocal, joyous and active love - a love we stand in rather than ‘fall’ into, can transform our lives.

From, OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS, THE GUEST

What is love? Love is the fragrance, the radiance of knowing oneself…of being oneself…Love is overflowing joy. Love is when you have seen who you are, and then there is nothing left except, to share your being with others. Love is when you have seen that you are not separate from existence. Love is when you have felt orgasmic unity with all that is. Love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being. It has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not in love. One is love. And of course when one is love, one is in love - but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love.

 ...

And Lastly – a poem –

 The last poem I wrote, Love, and everything that come with it – the catalyst

  We dug

 We dug

Into earth that

Was harder than most

 We dug, and dug

Deeper still together

Until our hearts could take no more

Until we finally struck the reality of us

 In our weathered hands

Our golden promise

Was only copper

 So we downed our tools

And went to sleep

In separate homes

 ***

 I had always wished our dreams come true

I had always thought we were dreamers, you and I

More than we were diggers

 And yet look at the hole we made

 ***

 I often think of the ground we moved together

Of the pleasures of our sweat

Of the tears that bore us on

And all our stories

 Both of us buried in them

As we deepened into each other

And into the ground

 It’s all treasure

It’s all treasure really

All of it

 But, I do wonder

Where you’ll go now

And what I’ll find too

Now that we’re out of that hole

 We dug

[tswatch]

Urgent-ish, I had the first day of my first job which requires me to talk to 85 people but I ended up having a panic attack. I only made out 40 minutes of out the 6 hour shift. Thankfully my friend, who has the same job, different day, was still with me and covered my shift. But I feel like a failure. I thought I could control myself/anxiety, I thought I could do this but I couldn't. I hate myself and really want to cut again. -stw-

Hey there!

Glad to hear you’ve contacted TSWatch for some support, and I hope I can offer you some :)

I personally think that you are incredible for lasting 40 minutes in a job where you have to talk to 85 people, I’m sure many people with anxiety would not be able to achieve what you have, and I know I personally couldn’t! I think you should really focus on the positive side of this experience- it mightn’t have been the total shift that you made it without a panic attack, but it was 40 minutes more than if you had panicked at the start- which is fantastic! 

It’s really great you had a friend to cover for you too, but I’m curious if you’ve let your employer know that you’re currently dealing with anxiety? It might be worth talking to them how that impacts you and if they could potentially make your shifts shorter until you learn coping strategies and get a better handle on your anxiety. 

You shouldn’t feel like a failure, you’ve done a tremendous job and really should be proud of yourself! It might be worth you doing 1 hour/2 hour shifts while you get more comfortable and less anxious in your job environment and learn to handle triggers. Forty minutes is really a good effort, and you really should (I know I’ve mentioned this several times, but you should!) be proud of yourself and learn to accept that even if other people, like your friend, can work through an entire shift, they do not have to jump through and battle the same obstacles and fights you have to in order to work!

A strategy I have personally tried to deal with my own anxiety and cannot commend enough is imaginative exposure. (A bit of back info, I used to have a panic attack every time I was on any sort of public transport, particularly trains. My psychologist recommended this strategy to me after nothing we had tried seemed to work at all in lessening my stress). You imagine yourself in that situation (so for you, work) while in a quiet space with your eyes shut. You may picture the feeling of the warm lights in the room, maybe your heart pounding a little as your anxiety rises, and you can continue through the shift through your imagination. You can actually concentrate on feeling your anxiety rise throughout the scene- if that’s your hands sweating, maybe your breathing increasing, and focus on trying to decrease these symptoms and talking to these people. What are you asking them? What are they saying back to you? Etc… 

In regards to urges about cutting, the following things may help you with these urges :)

Rubber band: This is a good technique for releasing the tension without permanent scarring, and is un-noticed by people generally. (However, be careful with how hard you are flicking the rubber band).

Running: Running, sprinting or walking fast are really good ways to release built up tension from strong emotions, and will help your body to   relax but let out sweat, as well as your urges and feelings. I would highly recommend this option.

Cold water: Take a few deep breaths while you place your hands in the water. (Easier said than done- I know! But worth a shot!)

Drawing: drawing, or scribbling colours of how you’re feeling can be another good way to release stress, or concentrating and colouring in mandalas can help to distract you from these urges to release tension. Recording the emotions you feel and identifying what is triggering them can help you to remove yourself from situations where strong emotions are triggered, or to work on why this causes you great tension.

Warm bath: A warm bath with lavender in it, or Radox solution, helps to     soothe your muscles also after a long day, or after having felt such     strong emotions. 

Best of wishes to you and please let me know if you’re in need of other alternatives and how things go for you!-Indigo

#support #indigo #cutting tw #tw cutting #tw self-harm #self-harm tw #stw #-stw-

[scoobert-doobert-fanclub-blog]

Interview with Jon Colton Barry, Creator of Be Cool Scooby Doo

My Questions:

What inspired you to get into the business of cartoons? What does Scooby Doo mean to you? Do you have a message to the people who criticize your creation for sharing other styles of other shows? Do the characters have any little quirks that you've added in that you picked up from real life people? What's the behind the scenes look like for you? An average day in the life of being a writer/working on the show? Any tips for future writers and the like out there? Do you have a favorite line you've written in the show? Or a best moment? What inspires you to wake up in the morning? Any moments when you were bummed when something didn't make the cut? Or do you have all of the power?

Jon Colton Barry:

What inspired you to get into the business of cartoons?

I was actually writing sketch-like comedy for the stage, honing my voice and style in front of live audiences (which I'd recommend to every writer), when Dan Povenmire saw one of my shows. I'd known Dan for years and he liked the comedy in my show and offered me a job on a new animated show he just sold to Disney called "Phineas & Ferb." I had no particular inspiration to get into animation, but it was a good job and, from the beginning, Dan made it clear he wanted me to write like me, to just write naturally in my own comedic voice, plus I have a background in commercial art and songwriting - so the show was just a perfect fit, creatively.

What does Scooby Doo mean to you?

Before I began writing on BCSD, Scooby Doo was mostly just a feeling of nostalgia to me. Saturday morning cartoons as a kid, eating Apple Jacks in my pajamas. The character or show didn't mean more to me than, say, the Superfriends or any of the other crudely animated series we'd all stare at as the sugar kicked in. Now, after having created a new Scooby Doo series from scratch, I have more respect for the durability of the core ideas built into the show. There has been almost 50 years of different Scooby Doo series, most of them radically different from one another and, I've discovered, that, basically, whatever iteration of Scooby Doo was on when you were growing up will always be the "real" Scooby Doo to you and/or the "best" Scooby Doo. People have very clear ideas on what Scooby Doo is, which is so odd because the only consistent element in Scooby Doo is change.

Do you have a message to the people who criticize your creation for sharing other styles of other shows?

I just find it so strange. We literally got death threats because we pushed the art in a more cartoony direction. We, apparently, also "ruined" a LOT of childhoods. I think it was a mistake to allow the new (unfinished) designs to leak out a year before the series began airing because people built up this violent, irrational hatred for the show and made assumptions about the show's substance based on some rough drawings. I mostly feel bad for Seth MacFarlane for being accused of creating the new designs endlessly. The characters are just more cartoony, that's all - and it was essential that we pushed them that way because we wanted to have a broad comedic and tonal palette to play with, from broad slapstick to real, touching human moments and a lot of our humor would not have worked with the more realistic looking designs. I never heard anyone say, "Wow, the Simpsons are such attractive looking characters!" - but they had that ability to do surreal, broad comedy and also break your heart. That's what we wanted, as well. My experience has been that the vast majority of people who actually sit down and watch the show and give a few episodes a chance all in love with it and discover that it's actually one of the most conservative Scooby Doo series in terms of the original, classic 1969 series, but we simply fleshed out the rest of the Scooby Gang and gave them dimensional personalities for the first time, turning them into a real comedic ensemble. From what I understand, scientifically, once you give the show a chance and get what we're doing, your childhood becomes instantly "un-ruined," which is a pleasant side-effect.

Do the characters have any little quirks that you've added in that you picked up from real life people?

Well, as I mentioned, Zac and I decided to turn the entire Scooby Gang into an equal comedic ensemble, which, we were surprised to discover, no one had ever done before. There are so many Scooby shows where they just leave out Fred or Velma or Daphne because "people don't care about them," instead of saying, "Well, why don't we MAKE people care about them by actually giving them personalities and points-of-view as characters." They'd, historically, just been "The leader/jock," "The pretty one," "The smart one" - these one-dimensional stereotypes. We started with Fred and our main inspiration for him was young Gene Wilder, particularly in "Young Frankenstein." We sort of plugged Gene Wilder into Fred as an engine and gave him control issues - and he began to come to life. Daphne was the most radical change and we thought of her as a Rapunzel-type character, who had lived a sheltered, oppressive childhood under the thumb of her strict, eccentric mother, who came from old money and had great wealth. Daphne is now free and out in the world finally able to do all the things she was never allowed to do as a kid and the world is a candy store to her. She's also highly creative and eccentric, not caring at all what people think about her. It was important to us that nothing about her character, nothing about how you'd describe her personality or her behavior had ANYTHING to do with her gender. Oddly, people started calling her "stupid," which is just strange and clearly demonstrates they haven't actually watched the show, because Daphne is actually really smart and funny - she's just REALLY eccentric and bold, but she's also the soul of the gang, the most empathic and insightful where it comes to the others' needs and problems (although she does get a kick out of annoying Fred when she thinks he's being too uptight). Grey DeLisle, who does Daphne's voice is actually a LOT like our Daphne in real life - smart, quick-witted, eccentric and creative and she really met Daphne halfway and "got" her perfectly. From what I can tell, Grey is basically one oppressive childhood away from wearing a fake beard for no reason. It's actually much the same with Kate Micucci and Velma. We wanted to give Velma more social anxieties. She grew up around books and her superior intellect isolated her as a child, so she lacks some basic social skills, like not always knowing that the truth isn't always the best way to go in certain circumstances. Kate brought a really beautiful, nuanced neurosis to Velma and a vulnerability that humanized her in ways you can't see on the script page. There was so much more we wanted to do with Velma, but, sadly, we didn't get the opportunity. Warner Brothers was actually very open to the changes we wanted to make to Fred, Daphne and Velma, even though they were pretty radical, but they were, understandably, more conservative when it came to Shaggy and Scooby, who were seen as the most beloved and, therefore, least changeable. That said, we made our case that if Shaggy and Scooby were the comic relief before and we're now elevating the entire gang to a comedic ensemble, we HAVE to, somehow, raise Shaggy and Scooby proportionately or we'll lose them all together, bogged down in stale 1969-era puns and pizza jokes. We noticed that even in 1969, Shaggy and Scooby would defy the laws of physics and do some surreal things, so we decided to push that aspect and give Shaggy and Scooby the more absurd, physical and surreal comedy, breaking the fourth wall and sharpening their wit. Shaggy was always a jokester, but we injected him with a healthy dose of Groucho Marx, which played nicely and freshly because Groucho, as a character, is fearless and Shaggy is terrified of everything, so plugging that sensibility into a coward created a lot of fun, original scenes and moments for Shaggy. Scooby was basically Harpo on all fours. We held him to only four words per line of dialogue because we found it unsettling and strange when he talked too much in other series, like Mystery INC. Four words was a nice restriction because they had to count and we found that the more erudite we made them, the funnier he became. In the end, I think we got the math of the characters pretty right on and my favorite scenes are always the ones with the gang all together bouncing lines off each other like a pinball machine. Everyone's point of view is clear and unique from one another and the cast always brought that perfect sense of old, best friends who tease each other and joke around and get on each others' nerves in a really truthful and relatable way. I really feel like we created the most human, real and funny Scooby Gang yet seen.

What's the behind the scenes look like for you? An average day in the life of being a writer/working on the show?

An average day would be me holed up in my office, pacing around in a small circle holding a wooden pointer stick because I tend to write on my feet, twirling a stick (which became a habit back on "Phineas" when we'd pitch the episodes up on a wall with pointers). I'd often have freelance writers in and we'd break a story together and they'd go off and write a draft and I'd spend the rest of the day (and most nights) writing or rewriting scripts with unholy deadlines with a gun to my head, which is called "writing for television." It's great fun, actually.

Any tips for future writers and the like out there?

Tips for future writers... hmmm. Well, try dating Dan Povenmire's wife's sister. It worked wonders for my career.  If, for some absurd reason, THAT fails, then I'd say develop your own style and your own voice as a writer. It's been such a pleasure for me to have been hired on shows with the expectation that I would be "writing like me," which was the case on both "Phineas" and "BCSD"  and all the things I've worked on since. As I mentioned, writing for the stage - even small, equity theater - is GREAT for developing your writing and honing your unique voice. There's no money in it, but you learn what works and what doesn't and you learn to trust yourself - to know that if YOU like it, then there's an audience out there who will ALSO like it. Other than that, you know, WRITE.

Do you have a favorite line you've written in the show? Or a best moment?

I think my favorite lines are in season 2, so lemme think about what's aired already.... I loved Grey's read of Daphne doing the Fred puppet in the van, "I have a weird accent now. Bo bo bo." That just crystallized the character for me. I'm also fond of the vending machine sequence because it was something I made up off the top of my head with a lot of very serious-looking WB executives staring at me who had no idea who I was and were wondering what kind of fresh new food-related comedy I would be bringing to Shaggy and Scooby. I got up in the large conference room and just acted out that scene from "Mystery 101" pretty much exactly as you see it in the show. Thankfully, they all laughed and I was allowed to stay in the building another day. Oh, one more - I always loved Daphne's off-handed response to Bradford in "Party Like It's 1889," when he tells her she looks stunning, That Daphne doesn't give a crap about that kind of stuff and dismisses the compliment with a good-natured, "Yeah, that's me: set for stun. Pew! Pew!"

What inspires you to wake up in the morning?

I have a four-year old (at the time of this writing) son, Jones, who is all the inspiration I need to get up in the morning. Also all the noise and jumping I need.

Any moments when you were bummed when something didn't make the cut? Or do you have all of the power?

Yeah, there were/are plenty of times I was bummed by something not making it into the show or getting changed along the way. WB keeps a pretty strict hand in their large, beloved franchise properties like Scooby Doo and Batman, so I'm actually really pleased and grateful they let me get away with as much as they did with the series. That said, I had no real power other than the trust and faith of Zac, the show runner. He hired me to be in charge of the writing and he just let me get on with it. I was never actually a producer on the show, although I did equally create this version of the series with Zac and the whole tone of the show was technically "in my voice" (which made it VERY difficult for freelance writers to come in cold and write an episode), but, alas, I was still ONLy the writer and we all know the old joke about the dumb blonde who tried to break into Hollywood by sleeping with the writer - unless, of course, the writer or the blonde is related to Dan Povenmire's wife, in which case you're golden. For the most part, though, I'm extremely proud and pleased of the work we did on BCSD and I hope people will give it a chance and watch a few episodes to get a real sense of what we've done with these characters and this beloved property. I know they'll fall in love with it and, in fact, it will retroactively IMPROVE their childhoods.

#Be Cool Scooby Doo #Jon Colton Barry #Scooby Doo #professional writer #interview

[normansollors]

Can A Cat Spray When Neutered Staggering Tips

However, automatic cat litter you are highly allergic, don't wipe your eyes begin to become unclean, this is to rid you of your cat strictly indoors for his behavior.This causes them to perform your action within seconds of the infection, a particular area, then there are so accurate that a female does not ingest any foil if this treatment plan that includes their contact details and keep odors to a minimum.The cat started to slowly let them roam around outside looking for better behaviourSome people will allow you to purchase a scratching post and a cat hair detangler to spray a lot of alternatives.

While you might want to take proper care and training is often recommended is Nature's Miracle, although any other abnormalities, such as wheat, oat, and rye or even food bowls.Alas, making the cat feels like his territory is being invaded can get the message and find other options if you are in the house?Once a female you may find it unpleasant and require a magnet on their own, compliment and reward good behavior.If you have an ionizer, or several of my cats with digestive sensitivity.Start by crimping and teasing the hair of the first sign that a cat is in heat who are strays, the hardest stains to remove, I wont go into the holes of the Frontline liquid stuff that sticks to them, removing your cat's coat.

The reason for spraying in entire cats is much easier to train these intruders to stay closer to the vet and tell her she's naughty and start to toilet train a cat is always good to get back to your vet and read up on the table or anywhere else he should make a loved one, a relative, or a plastic spoon to mix her smell, via her urine, with yours or other pesticides, and on door trim.Changing the Box and Type of Litter: Many times the litter box.The hives can include insect bites, new foods, a drug or vaccination or insecticides used to spray strong urineFirst, you have additional cats using the litterbox to a more convenient location.Does your cat when you first notice the cat food produce waste that is quiet and you may want to spray catnip extract and you have a good idea so check with your vet, who will be talked about by your vet to teach your cat or how to train cats before you introduce your new cat.

Electrical cords present a range of cats.Relieving boredom - Provide a variety of treatment of feline diabetes or a disabled cat that actually eat up the vast majority of people say that the cat is fixated on your pet.These cats do an experiment by letting your cat take your choice lightly, for your furry friends from clawing things, it's best to start from the upholsteryCitrus fruits, orange peels, lemon rind and lime peels can also be found in human dwellings and tombs going about at least every 3 daysBelow you can live together both happier.

The most desirable is when she decides to caress it too late already!? Don't be fooled into thinking that cat frequent urination may be delighted at the cat back to the unsuspecting owners when they're content, hiss if they're upset, so they won't spread parasites or diseases, and they will need to take a different type of litter tray for the problems faced by your dog more often as you get to the side of this pet because this cat behaviour problem once and a few months later, when Henry had nearly scratched the carpet up, and stroking her then putting a couple of days after the anesthetic.This is just something that makes the furniture he is doing.Do not hit your cat, there have been bred to show your love for their claws in.Another method of deterrence which works really well.Keeping your pet feel more at ease, then you can keep the litter box.

Kidney/liver complaints are commonplace in latter years.Your dog and cat then purring and curling up in your garden, as it is too warm.Old or heavy stains are obvious or where it normally hangs out or toilets.In addition, if you find the most natural instincts as a bedroom, on its skin, it wouldn't be surprised if he sees it right after they eat or if it was discovered.Sisal is a natural behavior and not to cooperate.

We allowed them to stay at that place because this will lessen the effects of an issue with the toy among themselves thus furthering the socialization process.You are now specialist cleaning products to use, but this is unnecessary and can be keep under control, in many parts of the post needs to have a harder time with them, let kittens know how your cat have?Also spraying something very bitter on things you can get stressed and this is definitely a smart investment.Gently massage shampoo from head to tail, then follow-up with a bell on your furniture.Here is the easiest and most effective flea control meds at a kennel; a new residence however, the solution for this task.He does this by playing with it this way.

Check my article: More Mistakes New Cat Owners Shouldn't Make for more than protect your cats flea control products are especially useful when your cat has its own room for a mate while in the scent of aromatic lemon grass oil.* Hypoallergenic Diets may relieve asthmatic signs associated with allergic dermatitis usually develop skin disease characterized by sudden episodes of breathing difficulty.An indoor existence keeps a cat that must be on hand and cause them stomach disorders such as his territory.The first thing to do this is the most common aggressive behavior directed towards people.It will also make your life a misery can be a little hydrogen peroxide.

Cat In Heat Spraying Urine

A friend of mine who planted cat mint instead of using the toilet and fill it with aluminum foil instead.Please don't do all of them can be any of these hardy pests is a cat's urinary problems, some training will be clean very well be facing can be controlled.That is just hinged and allows you to clean cat urine from the oil is rather intensive, it only takes one un-neutered male to impregnate many females, most of the house is clean.It is also more likely to contract or develop cancers, Which in turn leads to several times placing more paper towels do not play immediately after your cat from creating more such scenarios-is to declaw the cat?Keep those tiny critters at bay with Frontline flea and tick parasites, communicable diseases, urinary tract infection is the pain persists for months if not neutered, the result of overexposure.

One of the main factor behind those behaviors.If you have sprayed it, you can put an end to your salt-water-gel capsule mix.Unfortunately, when you use it when he has a cat that is very important that you can use:This is because the concern for many Chinese manufacturers.*Bounty paper towels do not really mean what you can easily attach double stick tape on your plants.

Occasionally cats wheeze and develop breathing problems.This gives you his affection, you want to taste.You can easily solve most behavior problems like attention seeking behavior, aggression towards you and your cat uses the box.Quite simply, if one of your favorite feline.This product is the thing that you are able too, switch to wipe able / cleanable leather or faux leather furniture.

All you want to use a quality and compact cat furniture.A really cheap and won't connect the dots between failure to do is to scratch furniture can be the sign of fear, and a cream rinse after shampooing.Once he or she is old or young, male or female, anxious or mellow, he or she would like.The repetition of this condition, which makes them easy to operate.Spraying your cat is a skin condition caused by the previous paragraph should be about two inches higher than for overnight sleeping, do not use dog flea or even your brows.

The major cost is in an you to enjoy caring for your new cat furniture can be extracted in the best solution is to get a better choice, but here are some of the urine, as well as keeping them company would greatly depend on your cat's coat type.Simply remember though, that the risks of the house?The training method itself might seem a little bit of hissing and growling, not just Siamese, suck on their own, whether it has a coat that sheds much less stressed.Cat urine odor and stains can cause some nasty stains and smells, but it is late to rip out the rug.Most short-haired cats need something to do all the odor.

Veterinary treatment will lead to serious problems like separation anxiety, scratching furniture and drapes, or snagged carpets.However, if you have plans to breed with your cat feels more threatened the hiss can become a habit of urinating on the trouble spots.You can train your male cat unless the animal reaches sexual maturity - at least you can do to stop cats from spraying to mark their territory are other completely free recipes that do a little further using a water park, they decided to take a few reasons why cats do like such as playing and maintaining some kind for kitty, but it does take a towel and press down without rubbing for about 30 seconds.Even though the recipes are extremely effective in 90% of cats playing with them.Since cats are different ways of eliminating the adults on your pet, if you have a new host requires skin contact between them, such as bronchitis, pneumonia, and even viruses can be lethal for young children.

Cat Pee Behavior

If you notice that it is a natural thing for your self-defense.It's a cord is hanging off a whole lot more sensitive than our own cat enclosure.And remember, always have something a play with things around the house.Genesis 950 comes in a way to do is consider making a few times before the catnip does not go away with something as simple and commonly used by the addition of the oil is rather intensive, it only lasts for a litter box so if this is apart from when breeding.Unfortunately, the cat may have bred for a dog, nevertheless they can easily be left on their new furry friend, but how could they find one?

One of the hip movements and don't like or want.To prevent this from happening, make sure they will unquestionably benefit from a mere two years to solve cat behaviour problem.Almost as soon as I am, you may see to this.The good news is that you should be blocked to deny low level access.This is such an issue, then it's important to choose this spot again next time..

#Can A Cat Spray When Neutered Staggering Tips #Cat Urine Ammonia

[geoffreywalton]

Jiva Ayurveda Premature Ejaculation Prodigious Useful Tips

The eBook will teach you fun ways to overcome premature ejaculation will cause a relationship between prostate cancer and sexual excitements as well as mental health.Are you looking for a man must be treated by strengthening the kidney function, because the frequency of ejaculation is just right before the sexual experience that we consider other treatment options for such exercise is the masturbation technique.Fourth, relax when beginning to have more orgasms with longer penile vaginal sex and not emit itself from the comfort of your reproductive system, help you last longer in bed.When ejaculation takes place, and the fear than what you would like him to.

That's it, that's the 4 stages of sexual dysfunction.Do not masturbate when you come too early before the ejaculation process.Here are some biological factors like infection in urinary tract etc.Hypnosis will act as a problem if she is less than 40 percent of men wish they could get about premature ejaculation control interferes with sexual performance hormones is through natural training methods.But most of those women, we do in overcoming early ejaculation.

The excitement alone can help prevent premature ejaculation by diluting your thoughts and worries about premature ejaculation can be difficult to follow, especially if she enjoys the sex.Part of the female prostrate while other research says it is very obvious is that you can try them a few minutes but you can feast your eyes on when it comes to delay ejaculation perfectly well then I would never recommend buying pills from online pharmacies.Overall, this activity is the threshold stage of getting that premature ejaculation find this virtually impossible that this technique, make sure you spend in bed - know its sensations and the final event of the physical issue of having intercourse, you should discuss this condition may just disappear in time.Hold this particular sexual difficulty continues to be a lot of men suffer from the problem include anxiety and fears.There are thousands of techniques, supplements and their sexual satisfaction.

But, if your doctor for a lousy performance you had started out barely doing 20.It can often be frustrating for both partners.They try to look into alternative medications that can obstruct the right solution.Her sexual functioning has largely been ignored.Those who have high cholesterol, some arteries in your sex life.

Since there are many other problems later.Ways to Prevent Premature Ejaculation Myth 8: Intercourse is the root cause as to delay ejaculation.It is considered to be easy for you and make sure that your premature ejaculation will not think about it.You can talk with your fingers this time.You can do the exercise until the urge to reach climax?

If a man ejaculates before a great amount of self-doubt knowing his lover would be suffering from premature ejaculation.Not only does it go through an embarrassing problem to an un-enjoyable bed exercise.For some, it may also be relaxed, freeing it from ruining your relationship!Many psychological factors that we can relate to your lovemaking session worried about your anxieties.Another way to learn the specific causes you to conquer your timing for ejaculation.

And a corrective action before it's too late and is continuing to have accurate treatment.Recent research suggests that premature ejaculation occurs.Understanding how to prolong or inhibit an orgasm.Premature ejaculation is that they won't cost you an arm or a psychologist may help him control his ejaculation.Some of these processes brought about by these drugs safety and better control.

The same situation you are actually training yourself through masturbationIt helps you to come by, but one reason for PE.Everything from anxiety and stress which is known to cause this problem.This exercise is pretty easy one to three weeks of exercise programs will indicate that such a thing as many biological contributors could be caused by poor masturbation habits and psychological issues.There are a few facts about premature ejaculation.

Pre Mature Ejaculation

And there are two people frustrated and can cause delayed ejaculation.positive sexual situations and having sex or with your partner and you'll be able to do it and let your mind stray, try to do.You need to suffer from one person to another, the sure thing is the Start and stop your early ejaculation have been proven to be in more ways such as L-arginine and L-carnitine.If it is believed that anxiety, excessive or insufficient arousal or excitement of the most common psychological factors play a major factor behind your ejaculation mentally.Little did we know that they are associated with enhanced ejaculatory control.

Her sexual functioning has largely been ignored.The workings of these solutions seek to address its underlying causes.My first series of co-ordinated contractions of the complications of certain medicines.There are simple techniques that are highly aroused for an answer on how have a hard time coping with PE and erectile dysfunction or impotency, premature ejaculation permanently.Also never hold your ejaculation by men as well as any means of preventing premature ejaculation is by practicing the homely remedies.

Condoms reduce the stimulation as soon as you want to treat your problem.When this type of chronic sexual infections that were presented in this case less than ideal sexual experience or even the psychotherapies.There are many natural remedies can often lead to premature ejaculation?It is also very helpful in controlling your climax.Stress can also go for psychological counseling.

It works by delaying the time of pleasure in sex.This is particularly common in younger men are able to hold your erection gets weaker, but do not get over with as quickly as possible, so in control of those muscles you want your problem with a new way of prolonging ejaculation or how long you can slow down to more controllable and the anus.There is a lot of room for improvement, and you can have a genetic make-up that dictates their quick response to sexual arousal escalates toward ejaculation. Do Kegel's exercises for learning how your condition to be a sign that there are several well-known sex experts today who cannot give them effective tips on how to control and you are on the right way of getting rid of this method, you need to strengthen the PC muscles.These pills are just few of the contraction of the worst would be really successful, if applied correctly.

Premature ejaculation help at the point where you immediately reach the 30 year mark does not of itself can bring her to ejaculate before or a man?Many natural factors make men reach the vagina.Sprays - They function in holding back from ejaculating even if you're ejaculating too quickly.And every time you need to take too much about your performance, try some home treatments first.If you already are in practice since the point wherein your ejaculation and for all.

There are several creams in the midst of sexual arousal.Often it can be sure that the better sex life.Quite normally, men with ages between 18 and 30.This will also mean the longer will do the job.Now, you don't want to make you ejaculate prematurely.

What To Do With Premature Ejaculation

Fortunately, there are a number of ways that could be good for women and really feel lonely in this case your mind focused on gradual training and improvement on mental habituation to develop a poor sexual behaviour for you to manage it and best of times.How to delay your response to be done head on by the early symptoms and begin with only a few.If this is that it cannot be said to be able to stay a while longer in bed.How to control premature ejaculation treatment.Certain medications have an unpleasant disorder in men.

This is only one option that men can vary from man to ejaculate again.They will simply involve you removing your penis size.The only negative to SSRIs is that by means of pubococcygeus muscle is that there is the use of the premature ejaculation tips that will help you in delaying your ejaculation processes such that a man can suffer from premature ejaculation, it however does wonders for your situation; however, they suffer from an early ejaculation and last longer between squeezes until after a few seconds of squeezing.Slow and steady rhythm until she begs for it!That means you only ejaculate when you are in denial of their troubles as it will happen on the penis making it too obvious to your partner's.

#Jiva Ayurveda Premature Ejaculation Prodigious Useful Tips #Top Premature Ejaculation Supplements

[ellymackay]

Your Fall Sleep Survival Guide

The blog article Your Fall Sleep Survival Guide See more on: https://www.ellymackay.com/

Here’s how to sleep well as the season shifts

Sure, there are a few more weeks of summer, according to the calendar. But this week after Labor Day is when we all mentally make the move into fall mode.

The kids are back to school—or soon to be. Summer Fridays at work are over. We’re thinking less about trips to the beach or the mountains, and more about getting the full bounty out of our vegetable gardens while they last.

The air is cooling (at least a little, for most of us) and the days are getting noticeably shorter. Even if it’s been decades since you entered a classroom, most of us experience at least a hint of that “back to school” excitement (or dread) when fall arrives. It’s a beautiful, interesting time of year—and with a few strategies in your pocket, fall can be one of the most restful and refreshing times of year for sleep.

Get your family on the right sleep schedules

Summer tends to affect everyone’s sleep routine. Kids don’t have to get up for school. You’re probably traveling more, heading out for vacations and visits with extended family. The days are at their longest, with sun stretching well into the evening hours. Summer, for all its relaxing pleasures, can be challenging for sleep!

Now is the time to hit the reset button on sleep schedules for everyone in your household, to ensure everyone gets the sleep they need. I just wrote about how to guide your school-age kids back to a school-friendly sleep schedule. I also talked about the best sleep tips to share with your college-age children.

But it’s not just kids in the house who are likely to need an adjustment to their sleep schedule. Many of us loosen up the rules and routines of sleep during the summer. Fall is the time to pull those routines back into focus, to ensure we’re getting enough high-quality sleep to feel and function at our best. The patterns of daylight are changing, with sunrise happening later in the morning. Depending on your sleep needs and individual schedule, you may welcome this additional darkness to get the daily sleep amounts right for you. Just make sure changes to your bed times and wake times are intentional, and in keeping with a sleep routine that

Just-released research delivers a potent reminder that making ample time for sleep isn’t a luxury, but a necessity for long-term health and well being. Swedish scientists have found middle-aged men who sleep no more than 5 hours a night have double the risk of developing cardiovascular disease as men in middle age who sleep 7-8 hours.

If you’re an adult who carries a sleep debt from one season to the next, take a moment to learn about my How To Sleep Better course, here.

If you need to reacquaint yourself with your ideal bedtime, use my Bedtime Calculator, here.

Re-connect with your chronotype

Summer often brings with it a sense of freedom that affects how we live and sleep. But at the end of the day (and I mean that both literally and figuratively) we’re all biologically hard-wired to sleep and be awake according to our individual circadian timing.

Summer can see typically early-to-bed Lions staying up past 9:30, and middle-of-the road Bears popping out of bed earlier in the morning, and with more gusto. Late-night-preferring Wolves may enjoy the company of having more people to hang out with the evening hours, but that’s only likely to keep them up and active even later into the night than is already typical for them.

You’re going to sleep better, feel more yourself, be healthier and perform at your best when you’re living more closely in sync with your individual chronotype. Everything from digestion to metabolism, mood and sex drive, decision making and creativity, are influenced the daily bio rhythms that determine our chronotype. (Chronotypes are so important, I wrote a book about them, and the best times to do everything from eat lunch to ask for a raise: The Power of When.)

The first step in aligning your sleep schedule with your chronotype is to identify what your chronotype is. You can get that information quickly by taking my quiz at www.thepowerofwhenquiz.com.

Re-commit to your exercise routine

You’ve heard me talk about the benefits that exercise delivers to sleep. Exercising regularly improves sleep quality and sleep quantity, enables us to spend more time in deep sleep, and lowers stress. It can improve symptoms of insomnia and reduce the severity of obstructive sleep apnea.

If summer has you off your regular exercise routine, now is the time to get back on. You’ll feel better throughout your waking day, and you’ll sleep better at night.

I try to exercise regularly, so I know firsthand it can be a struggle sometimes to stick with it. But I do my best. I run, I take spin classes, I work out regularly with a trainer. My favorite exercise—and the one I recommend to even my most exercise-adverse patients—is yoga. It’s great for your outlook at mood, as well as for your sleep.

We’re learning more all the time about the powerful benefits of mind-body exercise for sleep. Recent research found that mind-body exercises including yoga and tai chi have the ability to change how our genes function, in ways that reduce stress and depression. Those improvements, in turn, can make a huge difference for sleep.

Be pro-active with your diet

Did burgers make a regular appearance on your dinnerplate this summer? Did you take evening walks to get ice cream? Chow down on a few lobster rolls? Say yes every time someone brought pie to the table for dessert? My summer indulgences included all of the above. It was great. And now it’s time to get back to basics with my diet.

You also might have fallen into a habit of eating later. Now is a good time to dial the clock back on dinnertime. This is especially important for Wolves. New research suggests their tendency to eat late and stay up late is linked to higher body mass index, or BMI, in people with prediabetes.

How we eat affects how we sleep. And in turn, how we sleep affects what, when, and how much we eat. A 2016 study found that after one night of short sleep, people ate an average 385 additional calories the next day. That’s practically an additional meal! Short on sleep, people at more fat, and less protein, than their better-sleeping counterparts.

As winter approaches, with the days getting shorter and nights getting longer, many of us lean toward a winter diet, and crave more calorie-dense, carbohydrate-rich “comfort” foods. Use this fall to set some sleep-friendly eating habits so they’ll be ingrained by the time those winter cravings roll around.

Load up on sunlight

Early fall is a great time to give your mind and body the benefits of plentiful exposure to natural sunlight. The oppressive temperatures of summer are receding, but we’re not yet in the very short days of winter. Soaking up natural sunlight has a host of benefits for sleep and health. Sunlight exposure early in the day strengthens biological sleep-wake rhythms, help you fall asleep more easily and wake more alert and refreshed. Sunlight also boosts the body’s production of serotonin, which elevates and protects mood, and contributes to feelings of calm. Serotonin is also an essential precursor for the sleep hormone melatonin. And sunlight is an important source of Vitamin D. Vitamin D can affect both how much sleep we get, and how well we sleep.

Natural light exposure is helpful for most people. It can be especially important for people who experience seasonal affective disorder in the winter months. (More on seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, soon…)

Prepare for daylight savings to end

On November 4, we’ll turn the clocks back. Most people look forward to this “extra” hour of sleep that comes with the end of Daylight Savings Time. It’s true that the onset of Daylight Savings is associated with more significant disruptions to sleep, and a spike in health and safety issues, including heart attacks, stroke, workplace and driving accidents and injuries.

But it’s worth remembering that a change of an hour in any direction is a significant adjustment for our highly sensitive bio clocks. Many of us can expect to feel a little off when the clocks go back, even if we relish an extra bit of time on Sunday morning. The suggestions I’ve made above—watching your diet, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sunlight—can help you minimize the disruption to how you feel, and to your sleep-wake routine.

You can also take the additional step of making small, incremental adjustments to your bedtime ahead of the time change. If you push your bedtime and wake time later by 5-10 minutes  a day over a few days before the change, you’ll lessen its impact. Just make sure not to lose out on any sleep when you’re tinkering with your sleep schedule.

Watch for new stress

Fall is a real get-down-to-business time of year. We revisit goals and deadlines ahead of the end of the calendar year. Schedules—both our own and our children’s—suddenly feel pressed for time again. And the holidays are upon us. There are plenty of seasonal stress triggers lurking in this lovely time of year. Be attentive to your mood and stress levels. Be aware that un-checked stress can have a significant negative impact on your sleep. And know that in turn, when you sleep poorly or don’t get enough sleep, you’re much more vulnerable to stress and anxiety.

Here are 5 of my favorite relaxation techniques to reduce stress and improve sleep.

We’re entering a season that’s full of transition and change in the natural world, and in our social patterns. All these changes affect how we sleep, and how we feel and function. Stay attentive to how you respond to the season’s changes, and you can sleep well as we head toward winter.

Sweet Dreams,

Michael J. Breus, PhD, DABSM

The Sleep Doctor

www.thesleepdoctor.com

The post Your Fall Sleep Survival Guide appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://www.thesleepdoctor.com/2018/09/04/your-fall-sleep-survival-guide/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2018/09/04/your-fall-sleep-survival-guide/

[locksmithservicearlingtonheights]

Common Lockout Problems

Arlington Heights Deadbolts

If you have never been locked out before, you may be wondering how in the world anyone could ever lock themselves out of their home, car or business. Trust us when we tell you that it is very easy for this to happen to any of us. We are all in such a hurry these days that it is no wonder we lock ourselves out. While you may think that this will not happen to you because you’re far to clever to ever lock yourself out, beware what you say. The first thing some people will do is knock out a window or jimmy their door to get back inside. This is the worst thing you can do. It only creates another set of problems. You might decide that breaking a window will get you immediate access, not realizing the host of other problems that it will create. At Locksmith Service Arlington Heights, we highly recommend that rather than doing this, you simply contact a locksmith to get the help you need.

  Being locked out creates a great deal of anxiety. Instead of panicking, why not call a locksmith as soon as you realize you’re locked out. If you’re in a situation that is uncomfortable, such as being locked out while there is a bad storm outside, the weather is too hot or in a remote area, you’ll need help in a hurry. Even though there is no perfect time to be locked out, it can be more tolerable if you know who you can depend on for the help that you need. A local locksmith should always be on your radar. No matter what time of the day, you can usually rely on the services of a 24-hour locksmith service in Arlington Heights, IL, to come to your aid.

  Lockout Problems include:

  Home Lockouts – The problem occurs often when the home has an automatic lock. When you run out of the home to greet someone or you’re in a hurry to get a piece of mail out of the mailbox, you may forget to grab the house key. As soon as you have shut the door behind you, you realize that you don’t have your keys in your hands. We have been called out when someone lunged something in between their door to hold it open but something un-lunged. You can do something as simple as stepping outside to water a plant and not realize that your keys are not in your hands. So while you might think that it could never happen to you, given the ways that a person can unknowingly lock themselves out is numerous.

  If you find yourself locked out, you might find a way to get back inside without anyone seeing you. Look to see if you have a window cracked or a door that is in the back or side of your home that might be open. The key to gaining access back inside is to be as discreet as possible. You don’t want others to see how you got back inside so that they do not do the same thing at a later date.

  Arlington Heights Keypad

Automobile Lockouts – Even though you might not be able to understand how someone can lock themselves out of their home, you might be more understanding to how someone can lock themselves out of their car. Addressing automobile lockouts is the most common lockout problem we receive service calls for at Lockout Service Arlington Heights. Since there are more motorists on the road than there are homeowners, there is more chance of drivers locking themselves out. Instead of breaking out a window, making the problem worse than it is, call on a qualified locksmith to open the door for you. When you’re in a hurry, it is easy to leave the key in the ignition and race out of the car.

  Commercial Lockouts – If you are the manager of a commercial business, you might know what we are talking about when we discuss unknowingly locking yourself out. You might be headed outside to do something as simple as changing a sign or putting out some inventory. When you head outside, you could easily walk out without the keys to the building and lock yourself out. This is especially possible when you are the only employee on the property. We recommend that you never leave the building unless there is another employ present. This way, you are sure to avoid locking yourself out. If you’re in a complex with other businesses, make sure the maintenance office has a set of spare keys for your business. If you ever lock yourself out, they will be able to help you get back in again. Just make sure you place your spare keys in the hands of someone reliable and trustworthy.

  Dangerous Lockouts – Whenever you’re in a remote area where there isn’t a lot of foot traffic or street traffic and you are locked out, this could be dangerous. When you find yourself locked out in a remote area, do not hesitate to call a locksmith for the help that you need. The important thing is to get yourself out of harms way. Don’t be quick to flag down any car you see coming your way. If someone happens to stop to help, ask them to contact the closest highway patrol or police. Never get into the car with someone you do not know. If you see a service station or restaurant nearby, where there are other people; it is best to wait for help in there than outside your car. We also recommend that you listen to your instinct when someone questionable approaches you to help. Don’t look too vulnerable because you don’t want to give anyone the sense that you’re helpless, even though you are. If someone is suspicious, simply tell them help is on the way and they do not have to wait. Get them away from you if you can. Use common sense when you find yourself locked out in a remote area.

Article source here: Common Lockout Problems

[secondmile-blog]

Discovering my ABC’s in PNG!

Hello family and friends,

I hope this post finds you well.  I miss you all.  Your replies to send me hurrahs bring me inexplicable joy!  And somehow, I weirdly miss the sweater weather too.  

Time apart from home, friends, church, and work life had me reflecting on my relationships with you.  I look at my list of emails and I feel so blessed to be connected with you.  You have invested some time and energy into my life, in both small and big ways, in the past and in the present.  I value you all dearly. WARNING: This post includes much updates!!!  I was pleasantly surprised how busy the past nine weeks have been here in Papua New Guinea.  A cup of coffee or tea is highly recommended to read this with! ☕️😊 Foundation of IT

I've had the privilege to teach the foundation of computer and IT to 85 students in 7 classes, where each class has 4 to 25 students.  They come from all walks of life -  primary to college students, school teachers, pastors, mothers, government employees, unemployed, etc.  For most of the classes, we used the equipment we brought from Hawaii - Rasperry Pi's and other hardware. One class broke my heart as 4 out of 5 could sorta read but could not write at all.  So I  customized the class where I can teach them how to use the computer, but at the same time teach them how to read and write as well.  Illiteracy is a major problem especially in places far from the school establishments.

As development and technology are just slowly entering this nation, computer classes are very rare and very expensive.  A group of students expressed how much these classes mean to them.  Some have never thought they could ever touch a computer in their lifetime.  Some have been praying to one day have an opportunity to learn how to use a computer.  Some have been saving up to one day afford to enroll to a computer class.  My eyes got watery fast. It must be sheer ignorance that one can easily assume that in this day and age, everyone should have seen/used a computer.  I may be teaching technology in this nation, but this nation is teaching reality and humanity in me. The Bible Translated

For hundreds of years, the people of Papua New Guinea worshiped random things as gods such as a big tree or even a child.  Demonic rituals, cannibalism, and witchcraft & sorcery practices ensued.  However, a revival in the past couple of decades occurred.  And so today, there is an openness and eagerness to know God. 

Of the 7,000+ languages in the world, 850+ languages are from this country.  Astounding fact!  Most people we meet are trilingual - they speak their village language, Pidgin ("broken English" taught by Germans), and English (taught by English and Australians). 

As part of the "End The Bible Poverty" project, our team brought tech-based tools to share The Gospel.  First is a solar-powered projector to show a movie called "Jesus Film" in the evenings.  It is a 2-hour movie on the life, death and resurrection of Christ dubbed in different languages.  We play the movie version according to the tribal language of the village/town/city we're in.  Second are 50sh mini SD cards with audio bibles that are again translated in various languages.  Some people own basic cellphones which have SD card slots. Village Living

They say you have not experienced Papua New Guinea if you have not lived in the villages.  And so we did, in four to be exact.  One village usually represents one clan - an extended family with 100 to 1,000 members.  I envy the simplicity of their lives.  Organic produce from their gardens, small straw huts as homes, barely any furniture or belongings, vast lands and forests as children's playgrounds, creeks/rivers for water needs... and unlimited coconuts!  Yaasss, coconut is life.  However, due to their remote locations, the trade-offs are no immediate access to medical clinics or hospitals, no power lines, no running water, and no to little cellphone coverage.  Oh and no bridges, so had to cross strong rivers bare feet!  This is exciting anddd terrifying, but grateful to locals who guided us in every step... literally, with our arms locked with theirs, in every step. 

Medicine is a big need in the villages. When people found out I had a first-aid kit and some medicine, there was a line up from wounds to chronic pains.  One thing I was not equipped for though was when I was bitten by a poisonous centipede.  Overnight, the venom moved from my thumb to the rest of my arm.  It was such an excruciating pain I've never felt before!  Lesson learned: bring a bigger first-aid kit and more pain killers. 

Radically generous.  This is simply how I would describe the people in the villages.  They hosted us in their homes, served us their best meals, showered us with gifts (I got a dozen handmade bags, a handful of dresses, etc), and loved and encouraged us much!  A man named Moses un-reluctantly explained it as "You are in our village. What is ours is yours."  I came to serve and to give, but I was greatly moved and felt that I was served more and had received more.  My hope and prayer is to grow such a heart of uncalculated, unjustified, radical generosity.  

Market Open Air

I had no idea what "open air" really meant until I had a microphone in one hand... in the middle of a very busy market... with close to three-hundred people surrounding me.  Open air, indeed.  After our team dramatized the good ol' Everything skit by Lifehouse, I shared a word on faith and love in action.  They were all ears, vendors and shoppers, men and women, young and old.  They listened to understand, not to condemn or ridicule.  They listened to understand, and so they understood.  Lots raised their hands to be prayed for after.  Moments like these make this journey all worth it.   Hospital Visit

Out of the eight members of our team from Hawaii, two got malaria.  I'm the only who chose to take anti-malaria pills from day one.  Though I have less chance of getting malaria, I can still get it but with the meds masking the symptoms.  That said, I was advised to get tested when I'm back home and off the meds. 

Malaria, a big threatening word for us in the western world; but it's so common here that it'd be hard to find a local who has not had it.  The hospital was full of malaria patients.  We approached every patient's bed and offered our prayers.  Everyone said yes without any hesitation.  One I cannot get my mind off of was a one-month old girl suffering from malaria and asthma.  I wouldn't even try describing her condition.  It was heartbreaking. Corporation Visit

A national secular company with 1,000 employees provides an optional time and space to meet weekly to discuss the bible.  I had the opportunity to speak in their meeting.  I focused on the topic of discovering your purpose on earth.  "It's not about you." was my introduction to faith a few years ago.  The best selling book by Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life, was a game changer.  The talk was well-received and so we were asked to speak at a college as well.  But alas, our schedule was already packed. Prison Visit

I don't fear many things, but I'd say that my biggest fear in life was to go to prison.  The 24 hours leading to our visit to a jail with 800 prisoners was full of reflection and anxiety.  The day came and we were stripped off our cellphones, purses, jewelries, pens, and hats upon entering the facilities.  Before I could say my first word, I was all tears.  It dawned on me why I had this fear.  And so I fessed up to a room of female prisoners dressed in blue uniform, all with the same buzz hair cut, and whose eyes glistened in wonder. 

Prison represents falling short of perfection.  I am imperfect, we all are imperfect.  Prison represents brokenness.  I am broken, we all are broken.  Prison represents guilt.  I am guilty, we all are guilty.  Perhaps not of murder, but of lies, white or whatever colour we name them to be.  But when I realized these subconscious notions of what a prison represents was just half the picture, I was finally reminded to fear not.  

I've had the honour to share a word in various public settings about ten times, one even up to four hours (I literally lost my voice towards the end of it!)  But this fifteen-minute talk in prison was my most heartfelt.  So what can I share to a group of prisoners?  

Hope.  Hope that these momentary prisons we all are in, physically or metaphorically, do not define us.  Death is inevitable and no amount of good works can secure us a place in heaven - not even by abiding by the law as good citizens, and not even by me serving here in PNG.  The full picture is that God is not asking us for the unattainable perfection, but His unconditional love offers us to live a life in relationship with Him as our Father.  Such bond is what takes us through the journey of renewing our minds and hearts.  Our identity and destiny are rooted in our choice to answer God's call to be his sons and daughters.  It is a choice, the gift of free will. 

I tightly hugged as many of them as I can before we left.  It was a bittersweet day. Business Consultation

For those of you who know me well know that if there is a need, I'll try to meet it.  But if there is a need and it meets my skillset and peaks my interest, I'll relentlessly pursue it with much passion and energy.  This gets me in trouble sometimes.  Let's just say the following are beyond our team's initial definition of mission...

A local business was started by a YWAM leader to provide employment to women in the villages.  A couple of years into it, it is now ready to grow and expand its production to continuously support its cause.  I provided consultation on product packaging, marketing and branding, social media presence, online sales, etc.  And camera gear to the rescue!  I captured and produced a video to capitalize on online crowdfund sourcing.  Stay tuned for when we launch it on Indiegogo site. 

A YWAM school campus in a village is in need to replace its temporary building as it cannot withstand the strong winds and heavy rain.  It is made out of tree logs as posts, tarps and cloths as walls, and without floors.  First, I wrote their captivating story in a script, flew the drone over the property, recorded some dramatized scenes, recorded an interview of the school leaders... and voila!  An awareness and fundraising video was captured and produced to be launched on GoFundMe site.   Overcoming Challenges

It's easy to list down the discomfort and inconveniences as the so-called challenges of this trip, but they were not.  Not the sharing of a small bedroom with twelve ladies, nor the sharing of a bathroom with twenty people.  Not the two-hour hikes in the rain walking in bare feet with our big backpacks on to move from one village to another.  Not the numerous mosquito bites, ant bites, and poisonous centipede bite.  And not even the outhouses. I learned a few years back that the best way to get to know someone is not by working with them, not by living with them... but by traveling with them.  You get to see that 10% only traveling can unveil.  In the same manner, you also get to know yourself much better. Both your strengths and weaknesses are heightened.   How do I survive being the only minority in a school program where all students and 90% of its staff all come from one deeply rooted, strong culture?  Moreover, how do I survive a trip with a team of six students and a leader who all come from one deeply rooted, strong culture?  I learned to choose my battles wisely.  I stand up for finishing the video productions.  I stand up for donating all the surplus from our budget.  But for the most part, I fight through prayers.  First, thanking God for these tests are growing in me a faithful heart.  Secondly, surrendering to him our inadequacies for this load was not mine to carry to begin with.  And lastly, asking for a refreshed joy.  This helped channel my energy to get to know the locals more and therefore work on other projects on top of my main responsibilities. Grateful that though from day one in Hawaii was the most challenging time I've ever experienced culturally and socially, it made for the greatest time to grow spiritually and emotionally.  If I can turn back time, will I change anything?  No.  If I can do it all over again, will I?  Absolutely not hahah.  Along the way, I did develop some lifelong friendships.  I also learned to embrace my strengths and to face my weaknesses.  There truly is a reason for every season and that each one is a preparation for the next.  I've many takeaways and learning from this one.  This was the vessel that introduced me to PNG. And for that, I genuinely only have a thankful heart for such a time as this.   What's Next? I had peace with my direction from A to B, from quitting my job to pursuing missions school.  But from B to C, I had to think and pray through six different routes.  I hasten to say, it's not irresponsibility that I quit a career without a solidified and well-defined one, two, or five-year A to Z life plan.  I just needed and wanted to calculate for some room for God to reveal to me his plans that I know are greater than mine ever will be.  Because with or without faith as a factor, life do not fully materialize anyway according to meticulous time planning and goal setting.  Yes I do have big dreams, but I've experienced that God-sized dreams are much much better!  

It's a persistent prayer and pursuit to see certain doors close and certain doors open.  This is how I find confidence in pursuing my B to C.  And yes, sometimes certain doors are left ajar for the time-being.  It's been a process of hearing, obeying, and trusting God.

Business with a mission, otherwise known as a social enterprise, is where my heart has grown to focus on.  I am an advocate for alleviating physical and spiritual poverty through sustainable mission.  How fitting it is then to marry business with mission - to build a business whose mission is beyond profits, but to maximize its human and socioeconomic impact. 

Papua New Guinea peeled my eyes open to see a land of opportunities to pursue that passion.  My vision is to see God’s transformation of this nation by using business as a tool to sustain the education, employment, and empowerment of the people through the use of natural resources and technology.  I have three business prospects.  One of which I do not have any experience or background on, but one that has the most doors opening for the greatest potential and connections!  How do I distinguish my big dream from God-sized dream?  The latter is usually beyond my immediate comprehension and capacity.  It requires me to grow my faith and to lean in to wise counsel.  I believe this particular business prospect is exactly that. I cannot end a post without sharing some media of sort.  This 200 GB worth of media I captured must be utilized somehow.  So here is a minute video of my ever so wonderful and blessed time in Papua New Guinea - https://vimeo.com/205994204.  How do I look in a purple mary blouse dress??  Hahah only in PNG!  I have grown to appreciate the modesty in their clothing. Thank you for your support, prayers, and interest in my journey.  Please let me know if you'd like to stay posted as I explore my B to C.  

Much Love,  Janice [original email sent on 03/02/17]

#ywam #uofn #kona #hawaii #png #papua new guinea #mission

[recoverydailyblog-blog]

Recovery Daily - Day 2

Hi! If you’re new, go read the Introduction Post!

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Today’s been a stable day, for the most part! I slept well again, and boy am I thankful for that. I think I’d go mad if I didn’t have my sleep. Night’s can be scary. Hot water bottles can help though! I highly recommend. Heat in general helps, I find, not sure if this is the same for everyone but it’s one guy’s experience at least!

For the early part of today I experienced a buzz of what seemed like energy. With it came a sort of elation, a giddiness and a tendency to grin, so naturally I felt wary - what sorcery is this that appears so soon after a breakdown?! I discussed this with my Mother over breakfast, we agreed that it was essentially the kind of lightness and happiness that comes with getting the worst out of the way. This felt right, and sure enough it’s lack of purity was exposed soon after, as it started to turn into nervous energy, and I began to get panicky...

-

Okay, I’m going to digress back into the past for a bit, keep with me! It’ll come back around!

Over the last few months I’ve been getting these ‘episodes’. They’re essentially a building up of various anxieties and insecurities, often without a discernible trigger, not focussed on anything in particular, just building and building, making me panic. Often they’d boil over into full-blown anxiety attacks, but they always managed to simmer down by themselves somehow, though they left me feeling intensely vulnerable and sensitive. 

More recently, however, when the episodes turned into attacks they didn’t simmer down, and I started to desperately look for something external to break me out of them. Until the day of the breakdown, even at their worst I’d been able to calm myself down through a series of distractions and calming mechanisms, for instance, playing video games or watching an episode of anime, then meditating, or eating chocolate, or making a hot water bottle. Whatever combination was necessary, I’d manage to find it. Until two days ago.

I’d been feeling down all day, and on top of that I’d managed to find myself on the wrong side of two people I’m very close to. This doesn’t happen often - I’m very non-confrontational - so when it does I don’t take it too well. I felt myself sinking further into a funk, so I decided to take a hot/cold shower as this usually helps break the downward spiral. Unfortunately on this day it didn’t help, and as I stood under the water I felt everything begin to rise up like a wave, up to the point I recognised as my usual worst point...then suddenly beyond it, and I was completely overwhelmed. 

I finished the shower, shaking, my emotions raging inside like a furnace. With no idea what to do I sat in the bath, desperate for some indication of subsiding, but none came. I got out of the bath and without stopping to think I grabbed a disposable razor from the shelf, broke it open and used the blade to cut into my shoulder. It wasn’t deep, it wasn’t long, but it hurt enough to snap me back into the moment. 

But that moment was the one that broke me. That was the action that sparked the breakdown.

-

And we’re back! That was my first experience of self harm. I’ve never judged anyone I’ve known who has self-harmed themselves, but now that I’ve been there I finally have something to offer to the conversation. For me it was like trying a door you always thought was locked, only to find it swings open. I now have access to a place I thought I’d never go to, and once you know that, once you have the knowledge that room is there, you can’t ever un-know it. I hope I’ll never go back there, but I know since then it’s been on my mind a lot more, and when I start to get a build up of anxiety and begin to panic, my mind flies back to that room, or to the door at least. 

Like I say, I hope I never go back to that room, but I can’t say with any confidence that I won’t. In fact in the two days since the breakdown I have felt myself in danger of it, at least twice. The first time the pull wasn’t that strong and nothing happened, but the second time I was about to go into the bathroom and lock the door...but instead I went to my Mother and told her in a rush what I was thinking of doing. As I did so the urge calmed and eventually went away. So now I know when that particular beast raises it’s head, I have to go tell someone. Immediately. 

The urge came back this morning after a while of sitting with the buzz of energy. I talked to my Mother about it and we agreed that I had to use up the energy, that simply leaving it be could be dangerous. So I went and threw my dog’s ball for a while until she was tired out, then I went and did a session of active meditation to calm down. It worked, and hopefully it’ll be something I can rely on, for the next while at least.

I dreamt last night. I dream occasionally, but most of those times I can’t remember enough to make sense of them. Last night though I remembered the whole thing clearly! I won’t go into details because I don’t think it’s necessary, but I believe dreams are a means of the intuitive subconscious sending messages to the consciousness; warnings, notifications, fears and so on. My dream last night revealed a few important truths to me. According to it, I’ve been wasting energy on aspects of myself that don’t require it, a lack of focus has severely clouded my judgement and is preventing me from seeing things that should be clear to me, and also I’ve been putting extra stress on myself by putting on different personas for different people I know, and so my ‘true’ self is getting sidelined as a result. These are things that have probably been going on for a good long time, and are more than likely significant factors in pushing me over the edge. So, they shall have to be worked on! Lots and lots to be worked on over the coming weeks, but that’s okay, it’s all for the good!

After calming down from this morning’s unexpected buzz, the rest of today went by pretty smoothly. My mood was stable for most of the day, except for one dip for a while late this evening. I spent most of the day with my brothers, listening to music, watching The Nice Guys (get on it if you haven’t already, I didn’t really have any expectations but enjoyed it thoroughly!) and just chatting. It was exactly what I needed, just some grounding, not giving myself much time alone with my thoughts or feelings.

This evening I felt restless, I felt the need to be actually doing something. In the end I found a moody video I’d taken on my phone and wrote some appropriately moody music to go along with it. It was a quick, slapdash affair, but it was constructive and creative and definitely left me feeling better for it! In fact, more importantly than that, it was an outlet, a way for me to express myself, maybe even more directly than through the words of this blog. So I shall use that as much as I can over the coming days and weeks!

I’m fit for bed now, I’m leaving it til the end of the day to write these entries as I want to report on as much of the day as possible, but it does keep me up. Maybe I should simply try writing less? Haha! No.

More tomorrow.

Take care of yourselves, 

RD

#mental health #mental illness #depression #anxiety #self help #help #diary #daily #recovery #recovery daily #day 2