#(i’m pretending this is a short film and i’m being interviewed by a magazine.)

[ignatius-pennyfeather-ix]

since ofmd season is coming up here’s a little edit that i’ve never posted on here :)

#idk man first and only time i’ve done an edit #but i love it #made on imovie lmaoa #sorry if it’s bad quality #i actually originally posted this on insta & if you knew me there…ur a real one #lollll #but yeah everyone would always talk abt how never love an anchor was the perfect song for the show #but i never saw any edits so i had just decided to make one #i honestly was originally gonna do it from stede’s percy #but this was more fun for me #esp bc it kind of deviates from how it actually happens #so i can kind of tell that story #it could also be interpreted as how ed views it in retrospect #bc when you think of it yeah stede was the one who left #but ed rlly blamed himself so i that’s kind of what this edit it reflecting #(i’m pretending this is a short film and i’m being interviewed by a magazine.) #(also hi if you’re actually reading this 😭😭😭) #ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means gay #ofmd edit #ofmd ed teach #edward teach #edward teach born on a beach #ofmd blackbeard #ofmd s2 #ed x stede #gentlebeard #ofmd stede #stede bonnet

[ojcobsessed]

oliver jackson-cohen for flaunt magazine, by jessica romoff, july 2019

***

The first horror movie I ever saw was The Exorcist on my grandmother’s RCA console TV, midnight on Christmas Eve. My grandmother is a Catholic Portuguese woman who was devout to cross stitching and Jesus Christ, resulting in crucifixes nailed into every wall of the living room. So, as every flash and jolt from the TV screen would animate the tortured figurines with chilling white light, I prepared in panic and thrill for each one to flip upside down.

Not only did this movie ignite my passionate love for horror, but actor Oliver Jackson Cohen’s passion as well. Mine lead me to accumulating random 70’s slasher movie memorabilia and sporadic nightmares, while Cohen’s lead him to eventually being the star of hit Netflix horror miniseries The Haunting of Hill House as his character Luke Crain, with a few nightmares as well. The 10 episode show is a modern reimagining of Shirley Jackson’s novel “Hill House” and follows the Crain family during the summer they lived in the haunted home, and flashes forward on their lives decades after the tragic events.

During a phone interview with him, I learned Cohen is much more than just a dedicated actor with a jawline that can cut glass; Cohen is a whirlpool of empathy, an artist who gushes his heart into everything he does, and demands that his character Luke, and those battling with similar struggles, are portrayed more than just their addiction.

With your role in last season, I was really impressed by how you portrayed a character with drug addiction, and how you refrained from making him a stereotypical, one dimensional person - and I was wondering how you avoided leaning on this cliche when approaching Luke?

Thank you, number one, I think we all have seen drug addicts portrayed in movies and tv shows before. Most of the time, they are always portrayed as their addiction, and I don’t think that’s very true for anyone who knows anyone who has substance abuse problems; there is actually a fucking person there. So it was very clear from the get-go that I had a responsibility to present a fully formed human being, and they actually brought in a specific writer to write Luke’s character- who was a heroin addict in recovery. I said to Mike, the director and creator of the show - before we even started that it’s very important that Luke is the sum of all his parts and is not just his addiction. So I think that the way I approached it, is that when I first began doing all the research and the pre-work before we started filming, I started looking at documentaries, because I had never done heroin before, so I thought, Oh I’ll start looking at documentaries - but then I realized quite early on that that was putting a judgement on him. And I don’t think it’s fair - because behind anyone who has fallen into this trap is someone who is deeply struggling. And I felt it - I felt a huge amount of, not pressure, but a need to show the person behind the addiction and show the person who is actually struggling, and why he had become an addict. So I focused on that - so I spent no time whatsoever seeing Lucas as a drug addict; I saw him as someone who was struggling to come to terms with everything that he had experienced and happened in his life. And so I focused on anyone who is trying to numb themselves, that know they’re running away from something. So I built up the terror of that, instead of focusing on “I need my fix.”

Was there something that happened in your own life, that was out of your control and not your fault, but regardless someone judged you because of that - perhaps driving your connection to Luke’s character?

Oh 100 percent, and that’s what is so interesting, because I don’t have a substance abuse problem - but I think that out of all the characters I have ever played in the past 10 years, there’s the most of me in Luke. Like, all of that stuff of just trying to function, and the vulnerability, and just trying to be normal, and being so ashamed - all of that is my own shit, and so [laughs] I didn’t need to be a heroin addict to understand the pain that he was going through, so, so much. I think it’s incredible getting to play someone like that because, in a weird way it felt like therapy - I was able to go to work everyday and just be all the parts of myself. I think it’s interesting as well for men, there’s this whole thing about having to be a certain way, having to always be strong, and I think inherently a lot of people do feel incredibly fragile. So all of that stuff of Luke is me, and my stuff, and I didn’t have to pretend - I just got to go to work and be as vulnerable as I feel. You know we all have incredibly complicated lives and incredibly complicated upbringings,  and I used all of my stuff: I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago so all of that is in there with Luke - and it felt incredibly cathartic to be able to kind of put it all out there and be there.

When your work is something that is so emotionally rigorous, and strenuous, it must be very draining dedicating yourself to a character who is really struggling his whole life  - How do you unwind and decompress from this intensity?

[Laughs] I….you know what, I’m not very good at it. I feel like I’m one of those people, I’m sort of with the school of thought that you either go to work and you fucking do it  - and you do it for real, or go home. I’m not into this whole I’ll just pretend! thing, so it’s probably not the healthiest way of working. But I feel it’s necessary, and then I don’t know how to handle it. There were a couple of days on set where specifically we were filming all of Luke’s episodes or the stuff where he’s sort of roaming the streets - that got way too intense. We would rap at 6 am and I would go back to my house and sleep for a bit, and then wake up and just be so out of sorts: I would have to call people at home to reassure me that everything was okay.

I imagine the intensity can be overwhelming

Yeah, I mean, it sounds really wonky - but I think that when you’re messing around with stuff like that, and you’re tricking your brain into thinking something is real, and then on top of that you’re drawing from your own personal well of shit that probably should be kept untouched - it’s gonna be messy at times. So yeah, it gets… it did get a little hairy. But again I felt that it was important - and I think all of us across the board in the cast felt that it was so important to do that - to give Luke a voice. And what’s been so interesting when the show came out, it was so overwhelming, the response, specifically from people that have struggled with addiction. And it was so warming to hear these stories from people, so I think it was necessary for all of us as actors to go to those dark parts of ourselves, and put that out on screen.

Is there something that you wish you knew before you began acting in a horror TV series? Or about a TV series with intense family drama with horror influence?

Hm..I don’t know. Just… it’s all good. [laughs] it’s gonna be all good.

Honestly, that’s pretty solid universal advice. And I was wondering, are you a fan of horror in general?

Yes! Huge

And is this a genre that you want to continue with?

Yes, I had never done anything horror before, so this was a dream. I remember I watched The Exorcist when I was like eight or something, and it completely terrified me - and I still to this day have nightmares about it. I think what’s so clever about horror, and I think specifically with what Mike has done on our show, it becomes a metaphor for something else. So specifically with Hill House, if you take away the house and all the ghosts and all the horror elements, it’s about childhood trauma. So you can swap out what all those kids went through, the horror they experienced, can be swaped out for sexual abuse, or physical abuse, or anything like that. So you manage to kind of navigate all of these horrific things we kind of don’t want to look at, in the veil of ghosts, so it becomes palatable for an audience. I never knew this, Netflix told me this, that horror is the most watched genre in the whole world.

Really!?

Across the board, yeah! I thought it would be comedy. But that’s why Netflix made the show. Because they realized that actually there was such a massive market for horror. So yeah, a really long winded answer to your short question - yes I was a fan of horror, I always have been.

Me too! I’ve never thought about how horror can be a metaphor for trauma. That’s so fascinating. Just one last question - I know that you can’t say too much about the second season… right? Or they’ll shoot you.

Right [laughs]

So, see if you can answer this: if Season 1 and Season 2 were mythical creatures, what would they be?

[Laughs] What would they be… ahhh...I genuinely don’t know how to answer that question. They’re both just beasts from the darkest corners of our minds. Season 1…. Uh… what I can say - is that season 1 I believe was amazing, and with what they’re doing with season 2 is even…. More incredible.

#oliver jackson cohen #oliver jackson-cohen #peter quint #luke crain #haunting of bly manor #haunting of hill house #2019 #tw: childhood trauma #ptsd

[keanureevesisbae]

Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 12

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 4.7k

A/N: I may or may not have ended this with a cliffhanger - I’m not at all terribly sorry 

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter 

Time sure does fly by.

After the Christmas dinner at his parents place, Henry blinked with his eyes and it was New Years Eve already. Normally he would spend it with his brothers, going to a New Years Eve party, but this year couldn’t have been more different. this year he was over at Olivia’s, trying to keep Vanessa awake for as long as possible, watching movie after movie. But at ten p.m. she fell asleep against her mother and Henry and Olivia decided they would wake her up at eleven forty five, so she could feel the joy again of not kissing one important person in her life into the new year, but two.

They sat in front of the window, as they watched the fireworks and Henry couldn’t help but get a little bit emotional.

This was a new beginning for all of them. The way Olivia and Vanessa had suddenly walked into his life and made their way to his heart, is something he is still intensely grateful for. They were the blessings that he was waiting for.

They enjoyed their last few days of holiday, sometimes with and sometimes without Olivia, as she had to go to work. But spending time with Vanessa was always nice. They would bake cakes, have little tea parties or they’d go on walks with Kal.

But then Vanessa had to go back to school again and he fell back into his standard routine of waking up, bringing both of them to their work of school, walk Kal, go to the grocery store if necessary, go to the gym, all that good stuff. And he continued to decline job offer after job offer.

Olivia kept asking him if he still wanted to take a break. He means, sure, he would like it if he would star in another movie again. It’s nice, you know: the filming process, the red carpets, the interviews and all the magazine cover shoots, but Henry isn’t sure he wants that anymore. Does he want to be away from his newly found family for that long?

He still isn’t ready to face possible bad reviews again come to think of it and he really doesn’t want to leave the two of them behind.

Besides, about money he’ll never have to worry again. He has enough of it.

Today however, it’s February 14th. Valentines Day. Thankfully Olivia doesn’t have to go to work today, so after they took Vanessa to school, he drove back with a nearly illegal speed to her place, because he had plans for the both of them.

The days that Olivia doesn’t have to go to work, are the only days where it’s just them. He loves Vanessa with all his heart and he would never ever want to lose her, but spending time with just Olivia can be a nice change from time to time.

The two of them made love for God knows how long and afterwards took a long shower together. He can’t seem to get enough of his lovely girlfriend and with the way she was clinging onto him the entire time, he figures she can’t get enough of him too.

But ever since his mother mentioned it about making Vanessa calling him dad official by simply adopting her, it hasn’t left his mind for a single second. He needed to think about this, because of course that’s what he wants, but he doesn’t want to force the idea on Olivia. Though they have been mentioning the whole idea of adding a new baby into their little family, he is still a bit hesitant about the adoption thing.

But for some reason, he feels the need now to ask what she thinks about this. Henry sits on the bed, a towel wrapped around his hips, as he stares at the woman he loves so much and so dearly.

‘Sweetheart,’ he says, gaining her attention. She turns around with a smile, as she puts on the tight black leggings. She is wearing one of his sweaters and he loves it when she walks around in his clothes and he means, it’s only fair, since her apron is becoming his favorite piece of clothing. ‘I have a question.’

‘I’m not going to make you waffles, Valentines Day or not.’

He chuckles. ‘That wasn’t my question, sweetheart.’ He ushers Olivia over and she sits on his lap, hooking her ankles together behind him. He loves the feeling of her hands on his chest  (especially when he is not wearing a shirt) and he nearly gets distracted by it. ‘My mom said something around Christmas and I want to ask your opinion about it.’

Her frown gets deeper and she looks worried. ‘Is everything okay?’

He nods. ‘What would you say if I adopted Vanessa?’

Normally he can read at least something off of her face, but her entire expression is completely blank. He fears his suggestion was wrong. He already can see his future with her crumble apart. This was too soon, he thinks to himself. Sure, they mentioned the baby thing, but he should’ve brought up the adoption thing when she was pregnant with his baby.

‘Why would you want that?’ she asks.

What kind of a question is that? ‘Because… I… She… What?’

‘Why would you want to adopt her?’ Olivia asks again.

He needs a moment before he can find the right words, because he did not expect her to ask him this. ‘Because I’m here to stay,’ he simply states. ‘I love you, I love Vanessa and I love the idea of us being an official family.’

‘But what if we break up? Before we have another kid?’

Okay, he thought about that too and he totally understand why she asks this. ‘Because I still want to be there for Vanessa,’ he says. ‘No matter what happens to us. If you don’t want to, I totally understand, but—’

Olivia shakes her head. ‘I want you to adopt her,’ she interrupts him, ‘but I guess that I’m just scared that one day you might not want this anymore and you simply walk away. That’s the last thing I want for her.’

‘And I understand that, love,’ he says. ‘And I’m not forcing you to sign the papers right now, but I want you to think about it.’

‘I already think it’s a good idea,’ she says, a soft smile appearing on her face. ‘I want you to become her official dad, but there is only one person we really need to ask and that is Vanessa.’ Olivia leans in and gives him a kiss. She wants to pull back after the short peck, but he crashes his lips on hers again, unable to let go of her already.

Olivia is on board with him adopting Vanessa and when their lips part for a second, he lets out a shaky breath. This is truly happening. It’s slowly becoming what he always wanted: a family.

‘Maybe you can ask her tonight,’ she suggests.

Tonight on Valentines Day, he planned on taking them both out. Vanessa has been looking forward to this moment the entire week, when he officially asked both of them out on a date. Since Vanessa didn’t have a right father figure in her life who would show her how boys should treat her and Olivia has a shitty boyfriend experience, he felt the desperate need to make their first Valentines Day together as a family as memorable as it can be.

‘Yeah?’

Olivia nods. ‘You totally should.’

The hours pass by with Henry stealing kisses from Olivia, them walking with Kal and him insisting on buying her chocolate, because that’s what you do on Valentines Day and he was not going to miss out on that cliche. They pick up Vanessa from school and after they have eaten some cookies and drank some tea, Vanessa stands up and announces: ‘We are going to get ready for tonight. We are going to have a little girls… How do you call it mommy?’

‘A little girls pamper night,’ Olivia says. She looks at Henry and says: ‘So, no boys allowed.’

Henry pretends like he is insulted. ‘Well, then I’m going home with Kal and have a little pamper night, specifically for guys.’

‘But dad,’ Vanessa says, frowning deeply, ‘Kal isn’t going with us on the date.’

‘And he is not going to wear a suit, so,’ Olivia adds.

Henry lifts up Vanessa with one arm, before he hoists up Olivia in his other. ‘You two are so mean to me,’ he says.

‘Dad, let me go!’ Vanessa screams, before she starts laughing.

‘Oh my God, Henry, stop this!’ Olivia tries to wiggle herself out of his arms, but he is too strong.

‘Maybe we can distract him,’ Vanessa whisper shouts, still not aware that Henry can hear her, but he pretends he doesn’t. ‘With kisses.’

‘You go for that cheek,’ Olivia plays along, ‘then I go for this one, okay?’

Vanessa nods. ‘Three, two, one… Go!’

He feels two sets of lips on his cheeks and though he already knew this would happen, he still can’t help but chuckle. ‘Okay, okay, I surrender!’ he says. ‘You go have a girls pamper night and I’ll go home and pick out a nice outfit for myself, okay?’

Henry carefully places Olivia and Vanessa back on their feet, where they high five each other. ‘I’ll text you when we’re almost done,’ Olivia says, before standing on her toes to give him a kiss. ‘I love you, honey.’

‘I love you too, beautiful.’ He crouches down and gives Vanessa a kiss. ‘I also love you, sunshine,’ he says to her.

She chuckles. ‘I love you too, daddy. Now go.’

He can’t help but laugh, before he grabs his coat and clicks his tongue, so Kal knows they are leaving. ‘Enjoy your pamper night.’

‘We will,’ Olivia says and he walks out of the house, as he hears both of his ladies rush up the stairs, laughing in the process.

God, he truly is happy with his life right now.

When Henry and Kal are back at his own house, he misses them already. He misses hearing them laugh, he misses the unlimited hugs and kisses and he even misses Vanessa tiny temper tantrums.

He holds out his phone and looks at some of the pictures and videos he made of the course of a few months. Vanessa falling asleep next to Kal, Olivia sitting across from him at the table, the four of them in bed. Every moment he gets to spend with them, is one he cherishes. And he can’t wait to adopt Vanessa, to marry Olivia and have more kids with her.

≫≫≪≪

Henry lets himself in when he got a text from Olivia that they are nearly ready. He stands at the bottom of the stairs and yells: ‘I’m here.’

‘You are all dressed up?’ Vanessa asks.

He chuckles. ‘I sure am, sunshine.’

‘We’re almost done,’ he hears Olivia say. He leans with his shoulder against the doorframe and he hears footsteps coming from upstairs. He recognizes that they are Vanessa’s and Henry can’t help but break out in a big and proud smile, when he sees her. She is wearing a lovely pink dress, with a black cardigan over it. On her feet she wears slip-ons that match the color of her dress and her hair hangs loose beside her face, a fake flower clipped between the strands.

‘You look absolutely beautiful,’ he says in absolute awe. ‘My oh my, Vanessa.’

‘I’m even wearing a bit of mommy’s lipstick.’ She wraps her arms around his legs and he clears his throat. Vanessa looks so happy, especially when she realized that not only did Henry want to go on a date with Olivia, but also with her.

‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Isn’t Valentines Day for couples?’

He simply shrugged. ‘Maybe some people think like that, but I like to spend my Valentines Day with not only your mom, but also with you. Valentines Day is about showing people who you care about a little bit of extra love and I care deeply about you too.’

The look in her eyes then was priceless and that same sparkle was still here and that only makes him realize: he never wants to let her go. He desperately wants to adopt Vanessa Tran and make her his legal daughter.

‘Mommy looks really beautiful,’ she tells him, as he lifts her up in his arms. ‘I bet you are going to fall in love even more.’

‘I didn’t know that was possible,’ he jokingly says. ‘Olivia, sweetheart, are you ready?’

‘I am, I am,’ he hears, followed by her footsteps on the steps, as she descends from the stairs.

His breath gets caught in his throat. Holy shit, he thinks to himself. She wears a tight fitted dress, in a lovely shade of red that he has never seen her wear before. She paired it with black heels, that he didn’t even know she owned. The dress has short sleeves and he sees how the fabric hugs her godly figure just right.

‘Mommy, is Henry speechless?’ Vanessa asks, pinching his cheek, hoping to gain his attention, but he can’t stop gawking at Olivia.

Olivia seems to blush. ‘I think so.’

‘Is it because he thinks you’re pretty or because he doesn’t like the way you look?’

‘I sure hope it’s the first one, otherwise I need to dump him,’ Olivia laughs. ‘Henry, honey, are you okay?’

‘Wow,’ he says, ‘you look beautiful, darling. I’m such a lucky guy that I’m taking out the two most beautiful ladies out on a date.’

Olivia walks up to the both of them and gives him a kiss. ‘And Vanessa and I are very lucky to be taken out by such a handsome looking man, aren’t we, sweetheart?’

Vanessa nods. ‘I understand why my mommy is in love with you, daddy,’ she chuckles.

≫≫≪≪

During their dinner, Henry can’t help but notice the looks on other peoples faces. Some look at their table, probably because they think it’s weird that they brought a seven year old along, but those aren’t the looks that he thinks about too much.

It’s the look of adoration, of admiration, because they look so cute as a family. And they actually do. Vanessa sits on her mothers lap and he thinks of that moment alone, he has taken a hundred pictures.

He stares at Olivia, as the dim lights still highlight her exceptional beauty and he wonders: what did he do in life to deserve a woman as beautiful, as intelligent and as strong as her?

And he wants to ask Vanessa now about the whole adoption thing, but he hears Olivia’s phone ring. She looks at the screen and groans annoyed, before she picks up. ‘Tito, you are on call,’ she says, ‘don’t you dare call me … Oh, really? … How is her heartbeat? … Oh no, poor thing … I’m coming right over. See you in a bit, bye.’ She hangs up her phone. ‘I’m sorry,’ she says.

‘You have to go, mommy?’ Vanessa asks, before licking the chocolate crumbs of her lips. She doesn’t seem to  be disappointed, something that he truly admires and he is still in awe at how well Olivia has raised her.

The other day when a dog died on the operation table—a risk everyone was aware about—Olivia came home and simply started crying. Vanessa knew exactly what was up and told her mom that she did her best and that the owners knew that and the doggie in heaven knew that too.

‘I have. There is a dog who is having her puppies right now, but there are some difficulties.’

Henry watches her give Vanessa a kiss, before placing the young girl on the chair when she stands up. ‘Can I borrow your car?’ she asks.

‘Of course, my love,’ he says, handing her over the keys. Olivia gives him her own set of keys and he says: ‘Vanessa, sunshine, how about you and I finish dessert and then we walk home?’

Vanessa nods. ‘Of course, mommy has to save some puppies.’

‘Exactly,’ Olivia says, giving her daughter even more kisses. ‘Have fun you two and I’ll be happy when I’m home again with you.’ She presses her lips on Henry’s and whispers: ‘Go ask her, honey,’ before she rushes out of the restaurant.

Henry can’t help but stare at the beautiful woman, but he also realizes that he really needs to ask this question now. ‘Daddy,’ Vanessa says, tapping his hand and he looks up. ‘What do you like about mommy?’

He nearly blushes. ‘There is so much I like about mommy. I like how she is really rough and strong, how she loves you so so much, how she always lights up when you walk into the room.’

Vanessa nods. ‘She does that. She is a sweet mommy.’

‘She totally is.’ He brushes out a strand of her hair out of her face. ‘Sunshine, I have to ask you something, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘Do you like it when I’m with you?’

Vanessa stirs through her dessert and starts to laugh. ‘I love it when you are with us. Mommy is always really happy when you are here and I like having a dad around.’ She gets off the chair, so she can sit on his lap. ‘Why?’

‘Because I have an important question for you and I want you to think about it real good, okay?’

‘Okay, I can do that.’

Of course she can. ‘You know that you are not officially my daughter, though I call you my daughter and I’m your dad, right?’

She nods.

‘Well, if I adopt you, then I can officially become your dad and you’re officially my daughter. That means we have to sign some papers and all.’

‘But why does that need to happen?’ she asks. ‘I call you my dad, right?’

He nods. ‘But if you are not officially my daughter and something happens to your mom for example, there is a chance you can’t stay with me.’

Her eyes widen. ‘But that is mean, because you are my dad.’

‘I know, sweetheart, but that’s how it works.’

‘When can we do that? Adopting?’

He chuckles as he watches her smile. ‘Your mom and I have to figure that out, but from this reaction, I take it that you want me to adopt you.’

‘Of course I want you to be officially my daddy!’ She wraps her arms around him and squeals. ‘I can’t wait to tell miss Sue that I’m going to have an official dad!’

Their entire walk to Olivia’s place, Vanessa is skipping and by the time they are at the front door, he hears his own car driving through the streets. ‘Look who is there?’ he asks Vanessa, squeezing her hand.

‘Mommy!’

He has barely seen Olivia drive his car, but after she parallel parked, he falls even more in love with her. She gets out of the car and Vanessa rushes towards her. ‘How are the puppies?’

‘They are all good,’ Olivia says. ‘All very beautiful and healthy and no, we can’t have one.’

Vanessa wants to stomp her feet on the ground, but then she remembers what happened just about forty five minutes ago. ‘Mommy, I’m going to have an official daddy,’ she says. ‘He is going to adopt me.’

Olivia bites her lip, but from the looks of it, she tears up a bit. Henry watches her swallow hard and then she says: ‘I’m so happy for you, sweetheart.’ She crouches down and pulls Vanessa in a tight hug. She places her chin on Vanessa’s tiny shoulder and smiles at Henry. ‘Thank you,’ she mouths to him.

He wants to shake his head, but decides not to do it, though he wants to say what is truly important: Thank you, Olivia Tran, for giving me a family.

≫≫≪≪

Henry: Everyone, I have good news!

Henry: And no, Olivia is not pregnant, so you can unclench your butthole now.

Niki: Butthole unclenched, now tell us what the good news is.

Henry: I’m going to officially adopt Vanessa

Mom: Finally! I’m so happy for you, my dear!

Dad: So, she’s officially becoming a Cavill now?

Simon: Oh shit, Vanessa Cavill, I like that

Piers: You should marry Olivia as well, otherwise everyone is a Cavill, except for her and I don’t want her to feel left out.

Simon: Olivia Cavill, I like that too!

Henry: No, wait, stop!

Niki: Then they’re officially the Cavills. Wouldn’t that be cute?

Henry: You are all going way too fast now

Charlie: Why? You’re going to adopt Vanessa, right?

Henry: But they are used to be called Tran and I don’t want to take that away. We (and with we, I mean Olivia, Vanessa and I and that doesn’t involve any of you!) have to think about this.

Mom: I totally understand, sweetheart. I’m happy that the first step is there. Now everyone, say congratulations. I didn’t marry nor raised rude Cavills

≫≫≪≪

To celebrate the adoption, the three of them go to the ice skating range. Since Henry actually doesn’t like ice skating, he watches Vanessa and Olivia sliding on the ice. They do this every year a few times and from the looks of it, it’s a good thing that Henry doesn’t like ice skating. This is such a lovely mother daughter moment and he felt like he would ruin that, if he participated in this. He sometimes forget that they had a life together for six whole years, before he came even in the picture. Instead, he grabs his phone, so he can make some clips and pictures, so he can send this to his family.

It’s going to be official, he thinks to himself. He is going to be officially Vanessa’s father. He had to think about it for nearly two months, before he could voice his thoughts with Olivia, but now he is happy that he did tell her, even kind of regretting that he kept it to himself for so long.

‘Hi daddy!’ he hears Vanessa yell and he holds up his hand and she soars past him, Olivia holding tightly onto her hand. Henry keeps looking at them, especially at Olivia. For the past two months, they have been discussing the whole baby thing a bit more, and he is impressed that Vanessa has indeed kept her mouth shut and only mentions it when the three of them are together.

But Olivia is right: they should wait a bit more. There is so much for them to figure out and  and he truly doesn’t want to force it onto her. Besides, she has to do the hard work for nine months straight and he wants her to be totally ready.

But sometimes, when they are in bed and Vanessa is trying to sleep in her own room (has yet to work out, but she stays in her bed longer and longer, before she rushes back to them), he slips his hand underneath her shirt, placing a heavy on her belly. ‘What are you doing?’ Olivia would groggily ask every single time, knowing exactly what he was doing.

‘Go to sleep, sweetheart,’ he’d whisper, pressing kisses on her temple. She’d place her hand on his, before she’d fall asleep. He can’t wait for her to be pregnant, but he also knows that he would definitely not take another job, because he wants to be there every step of the way.

Olivia and Vanessa balance on the skates as they attempt to walk up to him and when they succeeded, they sit on the bench. ‘Dad,’ Vanessa says and it still gives him a happy feeling deep inside, hearing her call him dad, ‘mommy and I had an idea.’

‘Tell me all about it.’

‘We are going to drink hot chocolate with a lot of whipped cream.’

‘That, sunshine, sounds like an excellent idea and I’m totally here for it.’ He helps her taking off her skates and Vanessa slips on her shoes. ‘You need help, love?’ he asks Olivia, who can’t seem to get her left skate off.

Vanessa starts to giggle as she sits next to Olivia, while she sticks out her foot and says: ‘Yes, I need help.’

‘My mommy is a big baby,’ Vanessa chuckles.

Henry helps her take off the left skate and suggests: ‘How about you go find a spot at the restaurant, while I return the skates and bring back the hot chocolate?’

‘That is such a wonderful plan,’ Olivia says, slipping on her boot, before she and Vanessa walk off to the restaurant.

It’s funny, but they have the same walk. Lots of traits they have are nearly identical. They scrunch their noses the same way when they see something disgusting. The sideways glances they share. The way they walk. Even when they are concentrated, you can tell that Vanessa is the exact copy of Olivia: they both push the tip of their tongue in their bottom lip.

It makes him wonder: what traits would an eventual sibling have of both Olivia and him? Would there be certain things that Henry does, that Vanessa will copy?

After he returned the skates and ordered three hot chocolates, he walks to their table, where the two of them are babbling like they usually do. He sits next to Vanessa, giving her a kiss on top of her head and she giggles. ‘Thanks, daddy,’ she says with a smile, as she grabs the mug.

‘Thank you, honey,’ Olivia says and she leans back in the chair. ‘Alright, before we go back home, we need to do some groceries.’

‘Again?’ Vanessa asks. ‘We done groceries four days ago.’

‘I know, but since we have extra people in our house, we need more food. Besides, mister Cavill over here eats a lot.’

Vanessa chuckles. ‘Yes, he does. He always takes another portion.’

‘Wait a minute,’ Henry says, fake insulted. ‘I can’t help but get another portion. I’m a big man, I need to eat a lot.’ He looks at Vanessa and says: ‘If you want to grow tall and strong, you need to eat well.’

‘But… We don’t give Kal another portion, because otherwise he would get fat,’ Vanessa says.

Though Kal is almost at his ideal weight (he only has one more kilo to go!), the insults, how direct or indirect they are, about Kal’s weight, are still a very effective way to make Henry go quiet.

‘It’s a bit different for dogs and humans,’ Olivia says, placing her hand on top of Henry’s. ‘Dogs don’t go to the gym, like Henry does.’

‘Right,’ Vanessa says, nodding as she stares at her hot chocolate. ‘Can we buy those cookies?’

Henry bursts out in laughter. ‘Well, I want to, but we have to ask your mom.’

‘Like I’m able to say no to both of your cute faces,’ Olivia chuckles, before taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

In those past months that have flown by, he has barely spend a minute of it at his own house. Though it’s a lot bigger than Olivia’s, it doesn’t feel as homey as hers. He sometimes goes back to grab some clothing, some of Kal’s stuff or his own, but he could put that place up the market.

What would life be like, if he bought a new house for all of them?

Before he can finish his thought, he hears someone clear his throat. ‘Olivia?’

They all look up, but while Vanessa tilts her head and Henry wonders who this is, he nearly sees steam coming out of Olivia’s ears. ‘What are you doing here?’ It’s like the temperature of the entire restaurant has dropped quite a few degrees.

The man looks at Vanessa and asks: ‘Is this her?’

‘Don’t you dare look at her. I asked you a question and you better answer.’

Henry has never seen Olivia like this, her eyes dark like this and ready to kill from the looks of it.

‘Mommy, who is this?’ Vanessa asks.

‘This is Wesley,’ Olivia says, not stopping looking at the man. ‘He is the man that left me before you were even born.’

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #mister cavill your dog is kinda fat #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x Olivia Tran

[yurissweettooth]

Yay For 10 Years!🎉🎉

*Psst, click the image for higher quality!*

I have zero shame in saying that this show (and all related media) has changed my whole life in so many ways! I’m also not shy about the fact that my heart belongs to Yuri (I think he's so cool!) so of course he was the obvious choice for who do draw and write a short, light hearted fic about (which you can read below the cut!)💚💙

I hope everyone has had a lot of fun on this day!

“Let’s see here… Kotetsu Kaburagi damage report… Kotetsu Kaburagi damage report… Kotetsu Kaburagi... damage report…” Yuri exhaled, massaging the bridge of his nose in exasperation as he leafed through a mountain of crinkled, coffee stained documents. It was of little to no surprise that the pile of paperwork that had been left on his desk while he was away on his lunch break could mostly be attributed to the more reckless half of Sternbild’s prized crime fighting duo. With  a sigh Yuri lifted the receiver of his phone, intending to politely  remind Tiger once again not to use his paperwork as a coaster. However,  before he could dial the number it had begun to ring.

“Justice department, Yuri Petrov speaking.” he answered, suppressing his annoyance and replacing it with his usual polite tone.

“Good afternoon Mr. Petrov, it’s Agnes. As you might be aware, today is the ten year anniversary of the Justice Tower’s remodeling.” She explained.

“Remodeling?”

“Yes. Ten years ago today all of the walls were repainted and appliances replaced to give it a more modern look to reflect a new era of Heroes.” She stated, as if that really explained anything at all.

“That is quite lovely to hear Ms. Joubert. The paint is, uh, a very nice color.” he stated politely, not even sparing a glance at the boring grey walls that surrounded him.

“Look, you don’t have to flatter me, I couldn’t care less about the paint color either. The sponsors are complaining that the returns on their investments are decreasing so we need to drum up some interest and we need to do it fast. Anything can be a reason to celebrate if you look at it right way, right? I mean, do you have any better ideas?”

“Ms. Joubert, I’m merely a judge… I apologize, but I don’t see what this has to do with me.”

“Yes, precisely! You’re a judge, bringer of justice, upholder of the law!” she passionately proclaimed “Apollon media stands for justice, as such it’s only natural that we feature a man of true justice like yourself..”

Yuri elicits a sound of smug approval and leans back in his chair “Well, I suppose when you word it in that way I may be able to see your point.”

“Fantastic! So, of course our main heroes are our star attraction, our second league heroes are a nice side dish, but you’re probably somewhere right below that when it comes to your importance in delivering justice. ”

“Oh… is that so?” Yuri asked as his briefly amused tone fell flat at her backhanded remark. Was she trying to insult him?

“Precisely.” she said as though she believed she had just bestowed upon him the complement of the century. “I was thinking, in a way you’re kind of like a minor hero yourself so maybe we could spin it as something like a ‘Meet Sternbild’s Hidden Heroes!’ segment. Of course we’ll save all the big questions for our real heroes but maybe at some point we could get your perspective on what you think of the decor of the tower and what it’s like to be a judge.”

As he began to feel the backs of his eyes grow warm he made the quick decision to end the call there before he lost his composure. “Agnes, you always have incredible ideas and I wish you all the best with pursuing that. Thank you for the information, I'll think it over. I’ll be returning to my paperwork now but please don’t hesitate to contact me again when you are in need of further assistance.”

“Oh, you're doing paperwork? In that case, this is actually a great opportunity. Stay put and act natural, I’ll be there in just a minute with the supplies and the film crew.” Agnes made a point of hanging up quickly before he even got the chance to protest.

Just as she’d promised, Agnes and her posse were barging into his office and shoving cameras in his face before he’d even been able to sign off on the first document. She wasted no time in bounding right up to his desk, turning towards the camera.

“Would you look at that, Sternbild’s very own Judge Yuri Petrov, hard at work as usual!” She gracefully spun around and held the microphone out to him “So tell us Yuri, what are you working on currently?”

He pursed his lips, just barely masking his disapproval. He had never been one for interviews, especially not while presenting simply as Judge Petrov, so he figured it best just to blurt out a few simple answers and get it over with quickly. “Well you see, Wild Tiger has again destroyed more property in one week than a group of delinquents could in their entire lifetime." He motioned to the papers in front of him "As you can see, I have a lot of damage reports that I need to-.”

It was rather frightening how suddenly Agnes was able to snap out of her charming, professional mode. “Hey! Take your job seriously!” she shouted, slamming her hands against his desk. “You’re supposed to say ‘Heh heh, I’m sure you would love to know but that’s confidential.’ and wink at the camera or something like that.”

“You’re right, my apologies." Yuri said. He tucked a lock of his hair behind his ears, shuffled his papers, and started again. Sorry, I can’t tell you what I’m working on as doing so would violate the code outlined in article 371 B of the Sternbild judic-”

“Ugh, forget it, moving on. Ahem, soooo Mr. Petrov, why don’t you tell us a little bit about what led you to become a judge and why serving justice is so important to you.”

“Ah, well that one is simple.” he said, putting on the vaguest semblance of a friendly smile “I believe that justice is important.”

Agnes nodded her head, the microphone still pointed at him for a moment longer. That is, until the moment passed without him saying anything else. “I-is that all?”

“I’m not sure what else can really be said on the topic.” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Jeez, who hired this guy…” she muttered. “Well, can you at least tell me what you think of the new penholders?”

“Aren’t these from ten years ago?”

“Well they’re newer to you because you only started working here just within the past two years.”

“Mm, I see… but couldn’t the same have been said for the pen holders that were here before the renovation if they were still here now? Does being new to me really make them new?”

Agnes lowered the microphone and gave him a look that would make even Lunatic tremble in fear. “Alright, I had hoped we could avoid it but you’ve left me no choice but to resort to plan B.”

The words “plan B” didn’t leave the most pleasant feeling in Yuri’s gut and, for a moment, he almost considered interjecting and asking to restart the interview. However, Agnes already had her mind made up and was knocking his paperwork and carefully arranged pens aside to make room for a large box displaying the company logo. She rifled through the contents, producing a large cupcake bearing red and green candles in the shape of the number ten among other various party related items.

“Bring it in.” Agnes motioned her crew closer to get a better shot as she rounded the corner of his desk and placed a large, blue and green party hat on his head, pressing it down to try and make it sit smoothly atop his curly hair. “You like these colors, right?” she asked, as if the colors were what might be wrong with this.

“Well, yes but…” he started, but she silenced him with a simple wave of her hand.

“Alright, great. Here, put this in your mouth.” she said, shoving a party blowout, rather reminiscent of Sky High's suit, towards his lips “Try not to get any lipstick on it, we need to reuse this for next year.”

“May I ask why you are making me do this?” Yuri asked, his resolve wavering.

“I’ve decided we’re doing a magazine interview instead. I’ll write out all of your answers for you, we just need a few photos of you to accompany them. Now, pretend like you’re having fun!” she reached back into the box, grabbed a handful of confetti, and sprinkled the colored paper over his head. “Cain, go go go!” she instructed, hoping not to have to waste all of their confetti on just one shoot.

Yuri complied, albeit begrudgingly, but only because it seemed to be the only way to put an end to this save for burning the place down. He gave her the smile she requested, posed with the cake, and shuffled his papers around a few more times to make it look like he had been working.

“Alright, that’s a wrap.” Agnes said at last “This should be enough to work with." She said as she began to pick what confetti she could from Yuri’s hair and place it back into the box.

“Ms. Joubert, I must ask, will something like this really be helpful to our image?” Yuri sighs.

Agnes closes up the box and sets it on the floor beside his desk.“Well, it will be interesting, that’s for sure.” she answered vaguely, “Thanks for your time, I think I can use what I got. I saw you eyeing it so you can keep the cake as compensation, just have the other stuff back to me by this evening.” She had already turned to leave before another thought popped into her head “Oh, and Yuri?”

Yuri, rather reluctantly, looked up with a questioning look. He prayed it wasn't another weird question or dumb photo idea.

“Maybe try to be a bit more cheerful sometimes, with an attitude like that people are going to start thinking you hate heroes or something. Plus, you actually look sort of pleasant when you’re smiling and having fun, even if you're just faking.” she shrugged. “Anyway, I’ll have a copy of the issue on your desk when it comes out.” she said, waving her crew after her and closing the door behind them.

Yuri, now alone in his trashed office, exhaled a sigh of relief at her departure. “I suppose the public wouldn’t be too pleased if they thought their judge hated heroes.” he remarks to himself as his glowing fingertips make contact with the candle wicks and set them alight. Once his hand had cooled he brushed it across the surface of his desk and collected the remaining confetti, repeating Agnes’s words from their phone call earlier about how anything can be a reason to celebrate. He took the stack of papers and shoved it into the bottom drawer of his desk. In a swift movement he sat back and tossed the confetti into the air above his head in celebration of ,what he just decided, was going to be a well deserved and much needed day off. As the scraps of paper rained down on him he recalled  her other words and smiled to himself.

#tiger and bunny #tiger & bunny #tigerbunny10 #yuri petrov #agnes joubert #this was a really quick stream of conscious thing so i hope its not too bad!

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk about: The World of Original Content (Weverse Magazine)

by Admin 1

Don’t you just love it when stan twt in particular has a giant fight victimizing the members and claiming they hate things like RUN BTS only for BH/Weverse Magazine to come through and deliver them a bitter wake up call? Because I sure do, which made reading this new article even more curious than the subject matter already is.

For those who might be intimidated by the length of the article (though I guess you wouldn’t be reading our posts in that case either), the basic gist is a discussion and exploration of how shows like RUN BTS or In the SOOP (or GOING SEVENTEEN used as comparative example) are so successful due to the fact that they give the members a place to participate in a variety show type program in an environment where they feel safe and also actively can add input to the actual things happening in the show, as well as how all this additional video content offers not only a great way for the idols to connect with fans but also to showcase different things about themselves, or even a form of self-presentation as was said about SEVENTEEN content. 

Since their start 10 years ago in 2011 until they were named the most mentioned account in the world on Twitter and through to today as the most talked-about K-pop artist, BTS have released more than 12,400 videos and related media. Their YouTube channel, BANGTANTV, has secured 43.4 million subscribers and its videos more than 8.1 billion views cumulatively since its launch in 2012, and has 1,398 videos in its archive as of January 15. BTS have posted more than 590 videos to their V LIVE channel over the past five years, and in June of last year became the first in V LIVE history to surpass 20 million followers. These self-produced videos contain the artists’ histories as well as their messages to and joy for their fanbases, and this original content serves as an opportunity to reach out to even more people thanks to increased follower and subscriber counts. 

Now those are some really interesting stats to take in, the numbers mind-blowing though in a sense not necessarily all that surprising. We’re talking about ARMY and eight years worth of content after all, but the fact that there is a lot of sincerity and a degree of genuine rawness to be found among all those videos certainly helps as well. Who doesn’t love Bangtan B*mbs showing the guys doing something fun together, like playing basket ball on the roof between filming the Black Swan MV or things like the short videos from their birthdays. Content like this is much easier to access (and free) than things like Bon Voyage and are a great “gateway drug”, so to speak, to fall even more in love with Bangtan. 

The animation dubbing, meanwhile, started with an idea from the members. “Having watched the members for so long, I was confident they would be good at voice acting,” said Bang. “They told each other they wanted to try dubbing something, so we got to work on the episode. Copyright on web-based shows is generally strict, but discussions with Disney went smoothly because it’s BTS.”

This part I find particularly interesting for two reason:

“(...) started with an idea from the members.” confirms yet again the fact that the members do get a say into what they would be interested in doing as part of RUN BTS, that it isn’t just them showing up on set and being forced to do things they don’t care about or have to make themselves pretend they’re enjoying, both things solo stans have claimed about basically each member. It’s the same thing we’ve even seen in episode 124 where the episode was centered around the members coming up with ideas of tasks for episodes with the members even going as far as saying they’d love to do something longer, something that takes up a longer period of time like learning an instrument or sport or even composing a song for RUN BTS. In that same episode we also got confirmation that previous episodes were based on ideas from Taehyung (retro village m*fia type game episodes) and Namjoon (mini game based episode with bottle flipping etc).

“(...) but discussions with Disney went smoothly because it’s BTS.” which honestly just feels like such a (extremely) justified flex, love it. If I were a company that’s usually strict with my copyrights, I’d beg BTS to take my stuff if it’s something that would make them love and they’d have fun with it, but that’s just me.

The last part of the article I’d like to touch upon is this one since, to me, it once again proves Bangtan’s sincerity in sharing certain things and moments with us out of their own free will and desire, instead of due to some skewed ulterior motivation reasoning which some like to project onto them. Of course someone could argue that they only did this to create a false feeling of connection and faux love between the artist and fan, but with that you’re not only doing yourself a disservice but also belittling the members autonomy, feelings and genuine gratitude and connection to us. Yes, they don’t know all of us and they never will because that’s not humanly possible, but BTS being where they are today is (in parts) thanks to their genuine connection to ARMY since even before debut.

When artists enjoy making their videos, they elicit a response from their fans, which in turn instills the artists with even more enthusiasm to make more content. BTS “told the producers they wanted to share with their fans a video they had of them all goofing around,” Bang said, which shows “how sincere their love for their fans is.” The video, in which the members check the Grammy Awards nominations together, was shot on November 25 after they all agreed to RM’s suggestion that they record important moments together and share them: “It would have been somewhat inappropriate to ask the members to film when the nominations were going to be announced so late at night,” Bang recalled, “but they eagerly pitched the idea first, and thanked the staff after they were done shooting.” It was “thanks to the members that I was able to capture that important moment,” Kim said, while noting that “the most important thing when producing content is the artist’s desire to connect with their fans.”

This is something they certainly didn't have to do, just like they didn’t share the Billboard Hot100 #1 night with us in such a way either, but the members knew just how grand and meaningful of a moment that Grammy nomination would be so they wanted to not only film it for themselves as a memory, but also to share it with us. Also this line is quite telling to me: “It would have been somewhat inappropriate to ask the members to film when the nominations were going to be announced so late at night,” Bang recalled”. While some claim awful things against BH, little things like this, to me, show that there are still boundaries that the staff and producers keep and won’t cross unless given explicit permission or receiving an explicit request to do so, like they did in this case. 

BH isn’t perfect by any means, they are a company after all (can we talk about the horrible shipping prices? And more general price tags on merchandise etc?) but at least when it comes to the treatment of their artists they seem leaps ahead of other agencies and BTS genuinely satisfied with working and being with them for more than a decade now, so as fan, who am I to judge that? Especially when we keep getting tiny pieces of “proof” that show that the members have good relationships with those they work with, some staff being already with them for years or even since the beginning, when Hoseok gets called “Hobi-nim” or “Hobi Hobi-nim” cutely by their stylists, when Tae’s bodyguard/manager gently fixes his hair when he notices Tae is still half asleep and his hair askew, or Seokjin sought “shelter” against one of their managers when he got shy at the airport a few years ago. 

The more fans can tell that the artists are having fun and feel safe, the happier they are to share the videos, and this can continue to spread outside the fandom, resulting in all sorts of related or derivative media referencing the original. 

Overall I’m really impressed with the level of journalism that the staff working on Weverse Magazine have exhibited so far. They could’ve just created fluff pieces with zero substance to them, wrote sugar sweet "articles” full of empty praise and phoned in the interviews with the members for the BE Comeback Interviews, but instead we got really interesting things instead, like their article about the Grammys or one of the first articles that highlighted the racism and gatekeeping BTS have experienced over the years abroad where they even called out some people by name which felt like the perfect (justified) power move. If you haven’t yet, I very much recommend looking through all the articles and interviews and giving them a read. It really is worth it and written in a language everyone regardless of their level of English can understand while staying interesting to read without appearing simplified or “dumbed down”. 

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #weverse magazine #discussion

[70ships-moved]

untitled | honeymoon suite

very brief summary: patrick can’t sleep. his solution? interview your boyfriend.

pairing: malcolm (oc) / patrick (s/i) | honeymoon suite

words: 2088 (yikes!)

notes: this is the very first fic i wrote about malcolm and it turned a year old like two months ago (wow! i didn’t even know that until now), i didn’t want to change or edit too much because this holds a special place in my non existent heart :), written in the pov of my s/i (first person)

   Today I found a magazine with one of my idols (and celebrity crushes) on the cover in my nightstand drawer stashed away like a porno magazine. I remember the exact day I bought it too. I was at a bookstore and I saw it in the checkout area and the moment I saw who was on the cover, I made a mad dash for the checkout area. I did contemplate it though; the magazine was like twelve bucks which is stupid for something no one really buys but skims through and puts back. (When was the last time you bought a magazine? Man, wait until you hear about the internet.) But for who was on the cover, I was more than willing to pay the stupid twelve dollars.

    Like any child that picks up a book, I looked at the pictures and read some of the interview. My only takeaway from the interview was that he liked this Bolognese recipe he found- or made himself. I didn’t read it all. He puts bacon bits in it, and he says it’s even good when cold. I took this magazine with me to school almost every day. I really liked the guy, okay? I’d show it to my best and only friend at school at the time who hated my obsession with him. It was weird because she was one of those friends who would always get an ugly boyfriend and would force you to compliment him- no matter how ugly you thought he was but proceeded to get mad at you when you were being honest about his looks. I could handle her opinions about this man I claimed to love but have never met in my life.

    Four years later and I finally read the interview. It was a good read. The interviewer had nothing but nice things to say about him, mainly because he was and still is a sweetheart. And he only had nice things to say about the people he talked about. After reading the interview, I had something other than his good looks to admire. As far as I know, there isn’t a hateful bone in his body. When talking about his controversial relationship with his ex (long story short, the public wasn’t buying it), he said he only knew the girl he fell in love with and that’s saying something for a relationship that felt like it only lasted a week.

    It inspired me to conduct my own interview with someone who I love just as much, my partner Malcolm. I’ve interviewed other people before rather awkwardly but this is Malcolm we’re talking about. He has walls. We all do. He's a bit on the reserved side but with the time I’ve spent with him, I’ve seen these walls come down. These demolished walls are my favorite part of him. I even went out of the way and got a recording device from a buddy who works in film. I like being extra.  

    It’s about 2 am. There’s this thing my body does where I just have to wake up at this time. It’s every day too. When this happens, I wake Malcolm up. He encourages me to do so because it is incredibly difficult for me to go back to sleep once awake. Also, it’s kind of boring being awake all by yourself. In these hours, I learned how to call from a private number (*67, for prank call purposes), learned useless but interesting facts about space and how sex can be one hell of a sleeping pill. Tonight, I wanted to do something different.

    We’re sat in the kitchen area of the suite. The only thing separating us is the kitchen island. My recording device sits in the middle of us. Are you ready? “Mhm.” Great, I start with an over-the-top introduction of him. Ladies, guys, and people who don’t care what’s between their thighs, it’s two in the fucking morning and I can’t sleep but the man I’m sitting across from makes it all worth it. He’s got great hair and even great taste in men. He’s dating me! The man, the myth, future astronaut, and legend: Malcolm Hall! I feel like a podcast host. It’s a good feeling. “You’re so annoying.” That’s why he loves me.

    I have a list of questions I wrote down in less than five minutes. They’re nothing special and I want this to be fun and not so serious. This man constantly throws himself at his work- spending endless hours at a desk. Serious is his middle name. When he’s not in his office, he’s at the bar talking to you about a film he saw with a margarita in front of him or playing blackjack with you and your coworkers. Maybe he’s in suite 505 kicking it with yours truly, telling me about his day while I struggle to put a face mask on his moving face. How are you doing? He chuckles. That fucking chuckle. “Tired. But I’m with you, so I can’t complain. How are you?” I’m not so tired but I can’t complain. You’re here.

    I see you’re well-dressed for our interview. A bit too casual but you look good regardless. “Fuck off.” He says this in a whisper but it’s almost too quiet, it almost looks like he’s mouthing it. He’s in a bathrobe, his hair tossed from sleep; strands of it falling into his face. His face is resting in his palm as he looks at me with a tired smile, his eyes struggling to stay open. This is all unintentional, but I think this is extremely sexy of him. These small things have such a tremendous effect on me. They light the pit in my stomach and make me squirm in my seat a little. I’m messing. You look great as always. “You’re not looking too bad yourself.” I know. If I ever die in my sleep, I want to be in the best damn pair of silk pajamas there is.

    The coffee machine makes a noise indicating that it’s done brewing his cup of caffeine. That’s a nice coffee maker. When did you get it? I’m going off-script. “This thing?” He taps the machine like the hood of a car. “It came with the room. The interior design people take care of that. I just run the place, so I don’t really know when it got here. But I do know that the other machines were really fucking old.” Oh, interesting. “Not really. You know, I was expecting you to give me much harder questions.” Really? Well, it’s important to expect the unexpected. “Now you’re scaring me.” Good. Part of me can’t tell if he knows I’m teasing him.

    I’m not a coffee drinker like him but if it tasted as good as it smelt, then I could be. It’s a hazelnut blend. He mixes it with half-and-half and three scoops of sugar. His sips are slow and cautious. He seems to have bad luck with hot objects. He burnt his hand in a waffle iron one time and a dozen more times while preparing dinner. Maybe a hot object, liquid, or thing is the reason for the tape on his right hand. What happened to your hand? He looks up at me through his mug. “Masturbation incident.” By the way, I am madly in love with this man.

    Do you remember when we met? This is a weird transition because it was on my list of questions and my timing couldn’t be any worse considering moments ago, I asked a question and the answer I received was masturbation. The question makes him smile though. He either remembers or he’s pretending to remember. “Yeah. Of course I do.” He takes both my hands, gliding his thumbs across my knuckles. I want dates, times, names, everything. “I don’t remember the exact date, but I believe it was March.” He’s correct. “It was at the hair salon and I booked an appointment with you.” He’s correct again. I cut his hair for free now- well, unless he’s pissed me off. Then, I charge him ten bucks. Twenty if I’m really upset.

     Do you remember what time you showed up for your appointment? “Late. Very late.” He came in about two and a half hours late. I was pissed. “You were pissed.” He apologized profusely, and I still cut his hair. I remember it being soft and full. It still is. That's just one of the perks of having a hairstylist as a boyfriend. “I remember when you washed my hair. It’s my favorite part of you doing my hair.” I remember that too. The shampoo had a minty menthol smell. When it was on your head, it added a cooling factor and when you inhaled it, your lungs felt like winter. Basically, vapor rub for your hair.

    He got lost in the way I massaged his scalp, his eyes closed and smiling. I can still hear his Yorkshire accent telling me “Tha’ feels good.” After I washed it, I blew it out and started cutting it. That’s when I told him his hair was soft. “Looking back on it, you kept your hands in my hair way too long.” It’s part of the job. “That’s what they all say.” He takes a long sip from his mug, his eyes not leaving mine. “Your hair was...interesting as well.” Interesting, in the way he’s using it, is slang for saying you don’t know whether you should like something because you’ve never seen it before. Back in the day, I’d dye my hair all types of colors. Shit, I thought I looked good.  

    “The Smiths played on the stereo and your singing was terrible.” That’s a lie. I’m not Morrissey but I try to stay on key. “I’m kidding. But when you moved around the shop, you were always swaying to the music. You were fun to watch.” He winks at me and my face heats up at the memory. I danced like no one was watching. “We talked and talked and next thing I knew, I was asking you out on a date.” The first date was meant to be memorable but due to one incident, I feel like our date was memorable for the wrong reasons. “We went bowling. I’ll never forget it.” I know why. “You slipped and fell in the aisle.” I was so embarrassed. Is that the only thing you remember? Whenever we talk about it, you always bring it up. “That’s how I break the ice. ‘My boyfriend and I went bowling and he fell in the aisle. It was our first date. It's nice to meet you.'" 

    I’m a little tired now, my eyes a bit heavy and my voice softening. He answered the first date question I had prepared, so I decided to move on to my last one. Have you ever been in love? “Yes. I’d say so. Are you or have you ever been in love?” I’m supposed to be asking the questions, but I answer anyway. Yeah. I am right now. It’s a funny feeling because I’ve never been in love before. “Really? Who with?” You. My eyes can’t take the weight and close. “Good answer.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

    It’s a few minutes to 4 now. Our interview is done, and we’re ready for bed. We don’t go straight to sleep though. I listen to him talk some more with my head on his chest, his little chest hairs tickling my cheek. I begin to absently trace patterns across his chest. He says it tickles. His hand goes up my shirt, moving his hand up and down my back almost in a soothing rhythm. Sometimes, he stops, and I think he’s asleep, but I get the feeling that he realizes that I sensed he’s stopped and keeps going until I’m asleep. The hum of his chest when he speaks, combined with his hand and heartbeat is enough for me to call it a night.  

    His skin radiates a warmth that can’t be duplicated. His hands have a pattern like no other, each touch raising the hairs on my body. Despite it being hours since he’s showered, I can smell the scent of my cherry soap on him. This moment is something I never knew I needed and if it were to be taken away, I would be devastated. I close my eyes. I cannot think of any other place I’d rather be than here.

#puck.docx #💒 | honeymoon suite #self shipping #self shipping community #me getting ready to post this on my blog where ppl can read it: god i hope no one reads this #PLEASE i'm so embarrassed abt my love for this man that lives in my head #who pays NO bills i may add #a year later and i still can't come up with a title smh #ah and the person on the magazine was tom hiddleston who i still love to this day 😌 #but fr i think this fic serves as a good introduction to this ship #it saves me the time of having to explain everything or at least that's what i think

[suspiriu-m]

Examining Youth Culture

Youth Culture in television in cinema is a theme we’ve all seen before. In some way or another, we’ve all probably related or even seen ourselves in something we’ve watched. A lot of experiences we see in these coming of age style pieces most of the time have something to do with at least one of three recurring themes. Sex, drugs and alcohol. Character archetypes are also an important part of these stories too. To sum it up, we’re generally confronted with Jocks, Nerds, Goths, Popular Kids, Pot Heads etc.

A major point to take into account when looking at this type of media is the perspective the story is told from, and where it’s taking place. For example, Barry Jenkins’ 2016 film Moonlight, is completely different from 2018’s Love Simon, directed by Greg Berlanti. Moonlight tells the story of a young Black man named Chiron. Through three different time periods in his life, we see him come to terms with his identity and sexuality, all while living with his drug addicted mother in an impoverished neighborhood in Miami. Throughout the film Chiron not only faces the struggles of his sexuality within himself, but how his unaccepting peers react, his mess of a mother, and maneuvering masculinity without the guidance of his missing father. In a review written for The Guardian, Peter Bradshaw says that Moonlight

“is a film about masculinity, the wounds and crises of which are the same for all sexualities, but conditioned by the background weather of race and class” ((Bradshaw Moonlight review – a visually ravishing portrait of masculinity).

Love Simon however, is a completely different ballgame. The juxtaposition between the two films is extremely noticeable, even from just from looking at their promotional images. While Moonlight is more of a serious, realistic and emotionally charged movie, Love Simon has more of a young adult, coming of age, happily ever after tone to it. In the film, the main character has to find his way through growing up, high school, coming out to his friends and family, but most importantly figuring out how Blue is. Blue is the person that Simon has formed a connection with through emailing each other. The only problem? He has absolutely no idea who Blue even is. One of the more important aspects of this film when looking to compare it to others is the fact that the main character and most of the cast are all white. Not only that, but it takes place in a much more suburban setting compared to that of Moonlight. Simon’s relationship with his parents is very strong, his friends are all super close to him and the impression is given that they would obviously support him once he comes out. Surprise, they do.

In terms of which character I related to from the selection of films and shows assigned, I don’t really feel like I can truthfully say that I felt some sort of connection with them. Being gay myself, there wasn’t a crazy amount of representation in terms of queer youth in the films. Yes in Mean Girls you had Damian but he was kind of underutilized and exaggerated. In Euphoria you have Jules who is a trans woman but that also isn’t something that I’ve experienced and won’t pretend to. Could I relate to a few aspects of her character? Of course, i’m sure anybody can. But am I able to say I identify with her? Definitely not. That’s not a bad thing though, trans stories need to be represented in the media. More importantly they don’t always have to be represented in some tragic story or situation. Even though we’ve seen more queer representation today than ever before. We still have a long way to go. Rachel Bays wrote an article for The Advance-Titan stating

“Out of 109 major studio releases in 2017 researched by GLAAD, roughly 13% had LGBTQ characters. Of these films, about 64% featured gay men, 36% featured lesbians, 14% featured bisexuals and 0% featured trans-inclusive content”(Bays The complicated history of queer representation in film: The Advance).

It’s imperative that we see more queer representation mashed with Youth Culture in our media because not every single person experiences the same thing, especially queer kids. In terms of Kids, Saved By The Bell and Mid 90’s, I don’t specifically remember any particular moments in which I personally felt any sort of strong connection.

Now, if we’re gonna speak about common themes in a lot of these stories, then here is where I can say I definitely connected with some situations more than specific characters. Sex, drugs and alcohol are topics we see come up in a lot of coming of age or youth centered stories. In Kids, the main cast is basically parading around the city smoking, drinking and fornicating multiple times throughout the entire day. In Euphoria, one of the main characters Rue suffers from drug addiction. Kat comes to terms with her sexual awakening and a lot of her storyline is focused on her coming in touch with that side of her, whether or not it was the best way to portray it. And most of the other characters are all seen smoking, drinking out having sex at some point in the series.

Growing up, especially in our teen years, we’ve all had the opportunity to partake in at least one of those activities previously mentioned. I know for a fact that I have definitely been to parties, drank alcohol, smoked weed. I’ve encountered hookups and the whole nine yards. Something that really stood out to me in Euphoria was the episode in which Jules ends up meeting with an older man in a hotel room late at night. We shall not name the character for sake of spoilers but those of you who watched know exactly who i’m talking about. That entire scene was just gut wrenching for me to watch and I know it was for many other young queer people as well. Everything about that scene was purposefully uncomfortable to watch from the cinematography, music, acting and the location.

Speaking of music, the soundtrack to a film or TV show is super important and a lot of the time helps the creators in getting their point across. Euphoria specifically used a lot of modern music but also threw in some classics as well. The singer-songwriter Labrinth played a big role in adding music to the show’s soundtrack. He even collaborated with Zendaya in making All For Us, the show’s theme and closing track. It was premiered in the last episode of the series and incorporated into the storyline with a performance by Zendaya herself. This song specifically is so important aside from the rest of the show’s music because it aids in showing Rue’s downfall at the end of the season. She goes through so much in her recovery and relapsing and her relationship with Jules that when Jules finally decides to hop on that train and leave even though Rue tells her it’s not the best idea, it absolutely crushed her. In an interview for Rolling Stone magazine, Labrinth stated “When you look back to your teenage days... it feels semi-magical but semi-crazy and semi-psychotic. I wanted to make sure the music felt like those things”(Marks How Labrinth Created the Perfect Soundtrack for HBO's 'Euphoria').

To help convey how certain songs can help in telling a story, I created a short playlist with songs that I felt matched certain plot points in the show. Without going into too much detail in an attempt to avoid spoilers, I want to give you guys a short explanation of each song about how I feel it can fit into the show. In no exact order, the first song I chose was Regulars by Allie X. The song is about trying to fit in with society and the people around you when you feel out of place all the time. Personally, I feel like this is a good representation of Rue when she comes home from rehab and has to try and blend back into society knowing that everybody knows where she was. Halsey’s Beautiful Stranger is about meeting somebody after being hurt so many times, or just being in a bad headspace and finally feeling like this person could be the one. This is a good explanation for how Rue feels about Jules when she first meets her. She’s hesitant but slowly starts to fall in love with her before Jules starts acting out. Contaminated by Banks is a piece about loving somebody but having their history or the other person's actions make you feel not so good about the relationship you have with them. This is how Rue feels after her first little fallout with Jules. They kind of have an on and off relationship throughout the season and Rue subconsciously has doubts. Simmer by Hayley Williams is a song about suppression. Suppressing your emotions, especially the bad ones like anger, fear, sadness, rage. Nate in the series suffers with a lot of mental suppression. He suppresses his feelings about his relationship with his father, his questioning sexuality, his feelings for a specific character. Although he does lose his cool multiple times throughout the show, it’s not until the end of the season that he really bursts and lets everything out. Another song from Hayley Williams with her band Paramore called Fake Happy is also on the playlist. Fake Happy, to put it simply, is exactly what the title suggests. Pretending to be okay when you’re really not. In the show Rue relapses a few times whether that be big or small, and she has to hide it from her friends and family.

Maddy and Cassie are both the pretty popular girls of this show, leading me to choose Rina Sawayama’s XS as a representation of them. The title XS, otherwise interpreted as “excess” is literally about money, appearance and materialistic items. All of which Cassie and Maddy display throughout the show. The popular cheerleaders with the nice clothes and toned bodies, the pretty makeup and done up hair. It’s a perfect representation of their characters in my opinion. Even though they do have storylines going deeper into their minds, this is what they portray on the surface level.

Hallucinogenics by Matt Masson is a song about going somewhere else most likely due to drugs, and feeling like a different person. Although the song is a bit lighthearted in terms of sound, I think it fits with the scene with Jules and Rue taking drugs together and tripping in her room together. Rue was wary about doing it especially after the fact that she just got clean, and she already has this war in her mind going on but she does it anyways because she likes Jules. Attack of Panic by Aly & Aj heavily focuses on anxiety, which is something Rue deals with multiple times throughout the show. Especially the episode when she’s in school and pretty much has a mental breakdown and runs to the bathroom and hides. Even though the character Kat isn’t the primary focus of the show, her storyline has a bit of line shined upon it multiple times. For her storyline i chose Doja Cat’s Cyber Sex. Kat becomes a cam girl at one point in her sexual awakening and kind of goes full throttle into it. The song talks about having sexual relations with somebody over the internet and that’s exactly what Kat does, except she sees it more as a way to make an income.

Last but not least, I of course had to choose Labrinth and Zendaya’s song made for the show All for Us. The song represents Rue’s feelings of not wanting to let her family down, knowing the struggles and pain they have gone through and not wanting to upset or disappoint them again. Everything she’s done to get clean and sober up has been because of them. She loves her family so dearly but in the end she just broke down again, all because of Jules and the mess that she got herself involved with pertaining to many of the other characters she meets throughout the show. I hope you guys enjoy the playlist and take a good listen to the lyrics and themes in each song! They might not be perfect, but to me they have a lot of commonalities with themes and specific moments and themes from the show!

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/playlist-for-euphoria/pl.u-AGAaiylr2l

#Youtube

[bandhyukoh]

[Âught Magazine] Interview: Hyukoh 혁오

Disclaimer: This interview belongs to Âught Magazine. Find the original source here. By Ljubov Dzuzhynska, 3 February 2020.

What’s it like to be you? Oh Hyuk:  I just feel the same. I feel happiness and sadness.

What was your first musical memory? Lee In-woo: When I was 5, I learned how to play the piano.

We`ve interviewed Oui Kim and he mentioned that HYUKOH’s Ohio was his very first project, and he would choose this music video as his favorite. He only produced half of the music video due to the short budget, but he wants to finish it to the end sometime. Aside from this music video what music video of yours is the most special for you? Why? Oh Hyuk: I have a unique memory for each one, whether they are good or not, I remember them all.

Who is or was your biggest teacher? Lim Hyun-jae: The Internet for sure.

You`ve traveled around the world, what are the most significant differences between South Korea and other countries? What was the most surprising thing for you? Im Dong-geon: I think the similarity is that we feel love and enthusiasm. But still, it feels as if the Earth is huge and airplanes are too slow.

What is beauty for you and how do you integrate it into your work? Oh Hyuk: I feel it is important to find what I can do in between personal preferences and absolute beauty (I’m not sure there is any).

What have you learned from each other? Lim Hyun-jae: I have learned that there are so many different sights by each member for one issue and felt it’s very important to find our balance in between those sights.

HyunJae once mentioned that Japanese fans during “Wi Ing Wi Ing” tend to not make any sound during the performance. It felt as though they were listening to you with their soul. Did you have the same feeling during someone else’s concert? Lim Hyun-jae: When we went to Coachella this year I enjoyed Aphex Twin a lot.

Hyuk once mentioned that you’ve been raffling off this cap, designed by your friends at Dadaism Club, during a few of the shows in Korea. The first person who had won this cap – you found out she ended up selling it. Can you share some other bizarre or funny stories from your career? Oh Hyuk: My fans sent me sunflower seeds from all over the world. It was really overwhelming and I even bragged about it to my friends! People still ask me whether I receive a lot of sunflower seeds.

And some bizarre or funny stories from your childhood? Im Dong-geon:  I don’t remember much.

How do you usually recharge with so much space invasion in your life (mentally and physically)? Lee In-woo: When I feel down, I stop working on my tracks, and do nothing and just rest at home.

You’ve said that you don’t like to use social media personally and that sometimes you feel like it’s an obligation these days. Besides the negative aspects of digital media, what are the positive ones? Do you think that from another perspective it’s a powerful tool to explain your artistic point of view to people who are interested in your art? Oh Hyuk: Of course I do. Besides, social media is one of the most prompt platforms that we can communicate not only with our fans but also the era we are living in.

How are you trying to be a better human being and how do you seek the best within yourself? Lim Hyun-jae: To try to listen to people thoroughly. I feel it is very important to have the attitude willing to have a heart to heart relationship and not just a formative one. Also, to maintain those relationships, having caring and loved ones around you is critical.

What was the wisest thing you have ever heard in your life? Im Dong-geon: To feel real happiness for one’s own rather than to pretend to look happy for someone.

What film and book would you recommend? Lim Hyun-jae: Not for now.

So, how to find love and happiness for those who can`t? [ed.note: 24 : How to find true love and happiness EP] Oh Hyuk: I’m not sure. What I have in my mind is that living life and seeing the world through my own identity is the start for everything, a start for love and happiness. It’s hard to do so but it’s good to see everything with love – both for me and everyone around me.

What was the most memorable question you have ever been asked? Lim Hyun-jae: Your previous question. “How are you trying to be a better human being and how do you seek the best within yourself?”

What question would you want to be asked at an interview and what would your answer be? Lim Hyun-jae: It’s fun to be questioned about the things I normally haven’t thought of. Challenging questions lead to good answers so I guess I would have to give some thought about everything we discussed in here.

#hyukoh #t: interview #aught magazine

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather Chapter 19: Mr. Pretty Boy

January 15, 1986

After talking to my mom yesterday, I felt a bit better. Now obviously I didn't tell her about Nikki and the kiss cause she would have had a heart attack. But I did say that someone was treating me bad and that I felt lonely, which was true. My mom was always there if I needed her and she knew how to cheer me up.

Nikki had been calling non stop today. I would answer the phone, hear his voice then hang up. Or somtimes I would make Tamara answer and he wouldn't say anything, he would just hang up and then she would complain about the fact that someone is calling and not saying anything. I thought it was hilarious.

I had two photo shoots today. One was for Dolce and the other was for Edit magazine. Tamara finally found an assistant, her name was Jess and she was really nice. She was more mature than Theresa, she's 28. She was now going to be doing the bookings and going with me to photo shoots, interviews, meetings, and any social events. I loved the fact that she wasn't invasive, however she did always report back to Tamara so I had to always be on my best behaviour.

At the first shoot, I took two pictures for Edit magazine. I'm glad that one was over the room was really hot. I changed and got into the limo with Jess and we drove over to my next shoot.

"So you have an event this evening, it's mostly film stars that will be there. It will give you a chance to mingle with more people."

No response

"Um you also have a meeting tomorrow with some fashion designers who want to take a picture of you in there new clothing designs."

No response.

She sighed and closed her book. "Who is he?"

I looked at Jess and tensed up. Did she know something? And if she did is she going to tell?

"That look says it all, he must be important if he's got you looking out the window and feeling bad."

"He's not important, he certainly doesn't think I am that's for sure." I grumbled crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back on the chair.

"Did he say that?" She tilted her head.

"Not in those words exactly but that's what he meant."

She leaned in and put her hand on my arms and squeezed it. "Your worth more than gold. I don't know you well enough yet, but I can tell you have a lot of love to give someone and if he's being a dick head. There's lots of other guys out there. Don't settle for less." She leaned back in her chair and opened her book back up.

I smile started to form on my face. She was kind, gentle, and someone I could talk to other than my friends and Tamara. But I had to make sure I could trust her.

"Um can you not tell Tamara I like someone. I don't want to cause any problems." I calmly mumbled.

"My lips are sealed." She pretended to zip her lips.

We arrived at my photoshoot and took the pictures. I was exhausted and wanted to get out of there right away. Especially because I had an event that I was going to be heading to tonight.

We arrived at the event. Meaning me and Jess, we posed for a lot of the photographers then headed into the building. It was a big venue and she was wrong there were a lot of film stars. I couldn't believe all of them were here. Better yet I couldn't beleive I was here.

"Oh my God there Patrick Swayze!" Jess squealed. "God what a man."

I laughed and looked to the side and saw a young gentleman staring at me. He was holding a wine glass and stirring it around and gazing at me like I was the only girl in the room. He then winked at me and smiled then quickly turned away from him not wanting to lead him on.

"Hey I'm going to go talk to some of those people over there. Will you be alright?" Jess asked.

"Yeah I'm gonna go on the balcony for a breather." I replied.

I walked towards the balcony and leaned my stomatch on the railing. I looked up and the moon. But it wasn't like the moon I saw with Nikki.

"Miss Darlington!" My thoughts were interrupted. I turned around and saw the mysterious man standing behind me.

"H...hi do I know you?"

"No but I saw you in there and just thought you were extremely beautiful. Also I'm a fan of your TV serious. I think the show is funny." He smiled

I'm glad he thinks highly of me but his name would be great.

"Sorry I'm Derek Richards I'm a painter." He raised his hand out for me to shake.

"Ok nice to meet you, I'm Iman." I shook his hands. "So what's a painter doing at a film party?" I asked furrowing by brows.

"Well my dad is a producer and he made me come here. I have no interest in all of this. My interest is in painting people." He moved and leaned on the railing beside me.

"Oh that's nice." I turned to face him. "Is it a hobby or job? I asked.

He chuckled. "It's a hobby for now, but hopefully becomes a job. I'm in college right now so all my time is being taken up with school work. So hopefully when I finish I could start concentrating on my paintings."

I could tell he was a charmer. He was handsome too. I could see us potentially having something. Not a relationship really, but more so of a friendship. He seems nice.

"Iman?"

I turned around and saw Tommy standing in the door way of the balcony.

"Tommy... hey what's up? What are you doing here?" I walked towards him.

"I'm here with Heather, she's mingling with a bunch of people and I needed a fucking break." He walked onto the balcony and pulled a baggie out of his pockets with white powder. Coke

"Um I'll leave you to it. But here." He pulled his card out of his pocket and handed it to me. "My number is on it. You can call any time. I would love to see you again."

I took the card from him and he grabbed my hand and kissed it. Then smiled and walked away. I smiled and looked at the card. Until Tommy grabbed it from my hand.

"Tommy!" I yelled. "Give it back!" I jumped trying to reach it.

"Dude Sixx is not going to be happy. I think I should keep this card so he dosen't explode." He laughed.

I then grabbed his baggie. "Woah fuck Iman...hey!" He shouted as I dangled his baggie over the edge.

"I want the card now!" I raised my voice.

"Alright chill chill here ya go." I snatched the card from his hand and put it in my purse right way then gave him back his baggie.

He chuckled. "Doll I'm just looking out for you that's all." He said as he rolled up a bill. "Sixx was trying to call you non stop today." He then evened out a line of coke on the ledge and snorted it up. "Y'know...he didn't mean anything he said to you. He was just... just...I dont know." Tommy waved his hands.

"T-bone he meant what he said. Please dont make excuses for him." I raised a brow.

"You wanna hit?" Tommy looked at me smiling. I stared back at him with stern face. "Ok just asking." He put his hands up in defense.

I started walking to get back into the venue. "Hey Mani by the way your invited to the wedding. Don't think I forgot about you." He smiled at me. I turned around to look at him.

"Thank you T-bone. You coming back in?"

"Nah gonna stay out here for a few more minutes." He said making an even longer line on the railing. "And uh Mani... just so you know, Nikki does care about you in his own twisted way. He told me himself, so please don't rule him out." He said looking at me with pouty eyes.

I nodded then walked back inside. I met back up with Jess who was ready to leave. We got into the limo and I sneezed. I went into my purse to get out a tissue to blow my nose and I pulled out the card that Derek gave to me. I stared at the card and started thinking more about him. I'll give him a call tomorrow.

"Derek Richards." I whispered putting the card back in my purse. _____

January 22, 1986

I have been swarmed with events, interviews and photo shoots for the past weeks and I was so exhausted. Tamara promised that she would give me some time off. So today was a day off for me and I wanted to use it to sleep. I got out of the shower and headed to my room to lotion up, put on shorts and a T- shirt and chill. I sat down on the edge of my bed ready to lotion when I heard the phone Ring.

I got up and walked to the phone and answered.

"Hello!"

"Hi Iman its Derek!"

"Hey Derek, how are you?"

"I'm good, just wanted to call and see how you were. I was also wondering if you were free today? Wanted to take you out for dinner?"

And I wanted to use today to sleep in.

"I'm free we can go out. What time?" I giggled

"I'm free at 7 so I can pick you up around 7:30. And we can go from there."

"Ok sounds great!"

"Alright see you then bye!"

"Bye!"

I have been spending a lot of time with Derek since I called him a day after the party. We mostly hung out downstairs by the pool of my condo, and went out to eat. But we definitely talked a lot. I even introduced Rachel to him and she loved him. But I wasn't looking for anything beyond friendship. But off topic, I'm glad he's coming in the evening it will give me time to take a nap.

Derek came to pick me up. We talked all through out the car ride. He took us to this extravagant restaurant called Auburn. The rich people restaurant were they spend up to $100 on food it's ridiculous. We sat down at our table across from each other, placed our orders and waited for our food.

"I know what your thinking about this place. The food is very expensive but once you try the food your going to be coming back here often." He smiled.

The waiter brought over our food and the plate was empty. Not really, but mashed potatoes, a piece of chicken, some carrots. I sure as hell will not be coming back here.

"Will have a bottle of your best wine please." Derek said to the waiter.

"Uh no I don't drink." I waved my hand.

"Really!" He looked shocked.

"Yeah....I'm not a drinker. I don't like alcohol. Um cranberry juice is fine thank you." I say to the waiter.

We talked non stop and I found my self really happy. I liked him a lot. But again I wasn't looking for any thing serious. But he is definitely someone I could bring home to my mom.

"So I never asked but..... do you have a boy friend or somone your talking to?" He asked wiping his mouth.

"No I'm single and not looking." I empathize on the not. "I'm young and I want to focus on my career. I'm just looking for friendship." I sat back and crossed my legs.

"Then frienship you shall have." He smiled and put his hand out for me to take. I put my hand in his and he kissed it making me show all teeth and giggle like he was my high school crush. We left the restaurant and as he was driving me home I saw the sign above the Troubadour that said Guns N Roses were playing tonight.

"Hey Derek stop your car and park. Can we go into the Troubadour my friend is playing tonight?"

"You want to go in there? You know that place is filled with delinquents and drugged up rock stars right?" He looks at me with wide eyes.

"Yes I know I've been to the Whisky, but I haven't seen them play at this club. And I know my friend Slash would be excited to see me." I say looking at him with pouty eyes.

"Alright but were not staying long." He turned his car into the parking lot and we got out and walked towards the Troubadour. The bouncer let us in and people started eyeing me and Derek. I noticed people were taking pictures. But I was concentrated on seeing Slash. We sat down on a stool at the back and watched as the boys came out to play.

"This place smells like shit, do they even clean this dump!" Derek grumbled.

"They probably don't. That's why I only come when Guns is playing." I laughed.

"Good cause a girl like you shouldn't be in a shit hole like this." He looked around.

When the show was over I grabbed Derek's hand and pulled him so we could go back stage. The security let us in and the boys were all spraying alcohol on each other and had bare girls in the room.

"Slash!" I yelled out to him.

"Mani! What the fuck....were you at the show?" He ran over to me and picked me up. I started laughing.

"Woah woah your going to get your sweat all over her dress." Derek said with a stern voice. He grabbed a handkerchief out of his pocket and started wiping my dress. Slash glared at him and I could tell he was ready to put Derek in his place.

"Slash!" I called his name but we wasnt looking at me. "Slash!" I raised my voice calling to him. He finally looked at me. "This is my friend Derek Richards." I pointed at Derek. "He came with me to watch you guys play. And Derek this is my best friend Slash." I pointed at Slash. "The show was really good!" I said with excitment.

"Nice to meet you." Slash held his hand out for Derek to shake, but Derek didnt shake it.

"Nice to meet you too. Sorry I'd shake your hand but it's full of sweat with all respect." He nodded with his hand in his pockets.

The both guys looked at each other with dislike. This is not how I wanted this meeting to go.

"Ey there Mani you saw the show?" Steven walked towards us and picked me up for a hug.

"Woah there Steven you can't touch her! Derek wont like it if you get your sweat all over her dress." Slash mocked Derek.

Steven then rubbed his hands on his face and hair and then rubbed his hand all over my face. "Ew Steven that's gross....Yuk." I giggled wiping my face.

"Hey that's disrespectful!" Derek snapped. "And this is a $2 million dollar face your wiping your sweat on!" He raised his voice.

Slash then grinded his teeth. "Mani get this fuc-" "Ok were heading out nice to see you guys." I interrupted Slash before he could finish his sentence and dragged Derek out with me holding onto to his hand. I didn't want there to be a fight. Cause I knew 100% that Slash would win. We got back into the car and Derek started driving.

"You shouldn't get mixed up with people like them. There trouble, and they'll get you into trouble as well." Derek sneered

I raised my eyebrows in confusion, because Derek was only meeting them for the first time. He knew nothing about the history of me and Slash. He was only judging Slash on meeting him for the first time.

"Slash is a great guy Derek and he's my best friend. He's practically family, so if you want a friendship with me you have to understand that Slash will always be around." I stated.

He sighed and glanced at me. "I can respect that. But he shouldn't have ruined your dress like that, and that Steven guy shouldn't have rubbed his sweat on your pretty face."

"I'm fine Derek, they were joking." I smiled. "Thanks for thinking of me though."

We arrived back at my condo. And we sat in the car and talked for a bit before I was ready to go.

"So I hope me defending your honor against those rockers didn't damage a potential thing we have?" He asked looking at me.

"No Derek it didnt." I giggled.

"Great cause I would still like to be friends."

"Me too! Thanks for today Mr. Pretty boy." I smiled and exited his car. I'm hoping that this could become something more in time. But for now I just needed friendship. And I also hope that Slash isn't angry with me. _____

January 23, 1986

In other news, it looks like our Darling Iman hit up an extravagant restaurant last week with film producer Tim Richards son Derek Richards. The two were spotted laughing in Derek's car then ate a lavish dinner at the Auburn restaurant. The two were also spotted on the same day heading inside the Troubadour. When they headed out the pair were holding hands running towards Derek's car. It looks like Iman has kicked Motley Crues bassist Nikki Sixx to the curb and has opened her door for a real prince charmer. This is Rachel Rochester and your watching MTV."

I switched off the TV sighing at what was being said. What's worse about all of this, is that my mom was on the phone with me. She just saw it on MTV today. How ever; the story has been on the news for a while now and I have been receiving non stop calls over it.

"Mom I'm telling you the truth there's nothing going on between me and either of those guys. Derek is my friend and Nikki use to be my friend. Were not friends anymore." I said with annoyance.

"Listen that Nikki Sixx is the Devil do not mix your self up with rock stars. I'm warning you, I don't want you to even be friends with them. As for Derek Richards you can be friends with him. He looks like a decent guy. Not like that Nikki Sixx. But Iman no dating!" She raised her voice.

"Yes I know!" I mumbled.

"Is the person who was treating you bad still coming around?"

"No they haven't." I replied.

"Iman you need to be careful Hollywood is a big place and it can swallow you, chew you, and throw you out. I'm just trying to make sure your safe ok. I'm a parent and it's my job. I trust you to always make the right decisions and im so proud of what you have achieved. Were all proud of you."

I felt tears come into my eyes. My mom meant everything to me and for her to say that, made me happy. But it also made me sad because at times I really missed home. I missed shopping with my sisters, and playing with my baby sister. I missed my friends, my room, and waking up in the morning to my moms cooking.

"Thanks mommy." I sniffled

"Ok let me talk to Tamara."

I handed Tamara the phone then walked to the kitchen and made a sandwich. I didn't want to eavesdrop on the conversation. I sat down at the table and waited for Tamara to finish talking to my mom. I then heard the clicking of the phone and Tamara came into the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Your mom isn't mad at you she's just worried. And so am I....until now." She laughed.

I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"What's funny?"

"Girl Derek Richards is every womans dream. He's the type of guy you want to date." She booped my nose making me flinch.

"Were not dating Tammi, were just good friends." I stated.

"Yeah for now." She smiled deviously. The phone then rang again.

"Lord since people saw you with Derek this phone hasn't stopped ringing. Every one wants the scoop on you." She says as she walked towards the phone.

"Iman it's for you! Its Lisa!" She yelled.

I got up and took the phone from her. I know Lisa is going to get in on this Derek and Iman thing.

"Hey Lisa!"

"I'm coming over to get you! We need to gossip now! She stated then hung up.

"So what did Lisa say? She wants to get in on the gossip?" Tamara looked at me laughing as she sat on the couch flipping channels on TV. I rolled my eyes and went to the room to get dressed

Lisa picked me up and we went out to alittle diner to gossip.

"I can't believe you went on a date with that guy and said nothing to me about it." She sneered.

"It wasn't a date." I sighed. "We went out as friends. He's a friend."

Lisa turned shaking her head in disappointment.

"What's your issue?" I snapped.

"I dont have one, I just want you to be careful. Guys like him are usually dicks."

"As I said were not dating. Were just friends." I repeated.

There was a long pause. I know Lisa was just looking out for me, but she could sometimes be annoying.

"So have you spoken to Nikki?"

Ugh I don't know why people keep asking me questions about him.

"No I haven't and I don't want to. I told you what he said to me last time." So why would I want to speak to him." I said bluntly.

"Ok I'm just asking. You can relax a bit I meant no harm." She mumbled.

"I know, I just don't want to talk about him." I put my elbows the table and leaned into my hands running my face.

There was another long pause of silence.

"Well I have some news for you." She spoke calmly.

"What is it?" I groaned not looking up.

"Sooo I've been going to the clubs and I've been watching the Guns boys play." She smiled. "I have a date with Axl tommorow ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" She screamed waving her hands.

"Wow that's great Lisa!" I looked up smiling and hugging her.

"Yeah I've been hanging back stage with them and talking to them often."

"That's great you have to tell me how it goes."

"Well you have to tell me how London fashion week goes. I'm excited for that." She slaps my arm.

"I will I'm excited too." I paused for a bit thinking if I should ask her about her modeling career. Cause from what im hearing and seeing she hasn't really gotten any jobs. "Um so are you still modeling?" I ask with caution.

She sighed "I'm just taking a break. I'll eventually go back."

I don't know if shes lying or telling the truth. All I know is that people talk and the one thing I'm hearing is that Lisa has been doing drugs and Partying a lot. Which I knew she always did, but now its alittle too much.

_______

February 6, 1986, LA

I was leaving for England today for London fashion week. I was so excited because I did New York fashion week and I loved it. This was an even bigger step, and from London I would be heading to Milan Italy. I was told by Tamara that the majority of the designers had requested me personally. What an honor, it means that I was being recognized in the modeling world, and fashion world. The next thing that I would have to be more serious about is my acting role. After London and Milan I'll tell her to get me more auditions for movies. I would love to win and Oscar one day.

Anyways back to heading out. I called my family to say bye and let them know I'll be calling them from there and I would take lots of pictures. The limo picked up me and Jess. Tamara wasn't coming. Jess was the one that would make sure all my needs were met and I was taken care of.

I can't believe I'm going to England. I look back and think about the little girl that was doing photo shoots for Ola Hudson in her little studio, to staring in my first movie in 1983, to staring in my first and continuing TV series in 1984, to doing big magazine shoots, and staring in another big movie in 1985. And now I'm walking the runways in New York, London, and Milan. Who would have ever thought that this would be my life.

We finally arrived at the air port. But not LAX we were flying private. My glam and wardrobe team were coming along. Everyone else got on the plane, I wanted a picture of my self in front of the plane so I could show my mom and sisters. I asked Jess to take a picture of me some of the crew came into the picture too. After she was done I got on. I looked around and noticed that everyone had there own space. The plane was huge. There was room to do cart wheels, back flips, and fit 80 other people on board. I was loving this, but not soo much to make it get into my head. No, I don't want to become one of those girls who think fame and money are everything. I want to stay grounded and humble just like my mom taught me too. I was told we were taking off so I went to my compartment to sit down and buckled my self in. We took off, and the first thing I did after the seat belt light came off was take pictures of the scenery outside the plane. I have been on planes before but maybe this was different because I was heading to London and I have never been.

I noticed everyone was pulling out there pillows getting ready to take a nap. But I wasn't tired I don't know how I would ever get some sleep here. The excitement was just too much. And I felt like if I slept I would miss out on something, even though we were just in the air. I can't wait to sight see when I get to London and get away from all that was bothering me. No more MTV, no more questions about Derek Richards, and no more Nikki Sixx. Although.... I haven't heard anything about him or Motley in a while. Last I heard they were heading to Germany. I wonder where they are now?

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #vince neil #thedirt #model #chanel Iman #bwwm wmbw

[jgroffdaily]

[This article appears in the September 16, 2019, issue of New York Magazine.]

Within minutes of my meeting Jonathan Groff, he asks if I would like a slice of cherry pie, and then, only a short time later, if I would like to be eaten by a giant plant. The first I readily accept because Groff and the rest of the cast of Little Shop of Horrors have thoroughly analyzed the desserts they picked up for a bus ride down from New York to the suburban Philadelphia puppet studio where they’re rehearsing for the day, and they’ve all concluded it’s the best option. The idea of being eaten by a plant seems a little less palatable, considering the contortions involved in entering the hippopotamus-esque maw of the man-eating Audrey II, which is operated by several puppeteers, and because I’m not sure if Groff is making a serious offer. I learn quickly that he is always offering you things, and those offers are always serious.

The puppet in question represents the largest form of Audrey II, a sassy carnivorous horticultural oddity that convinces Seymour, an awkward flower-shop assistant, to commit murder in the pursuit of fame, fortune, and a suburban life with the original Audrey, a human who works with him. The day I visit, Groff, playing the misfit Seymour (despite good looks that actor Christian Borle, who plays the maniacal dentist, Orin, describes as “scrumptious”), and his castmates are climbing inside Audrey II one by one, figuring out how each of them will die. Wearing a hat from Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “On the Run II” tour, Groff jumps inside wielding a floppy machete, which is so un-aerodynamic it keeps getting stuck in Audrey II’s lips. Groff suggests a real machete prop would be sturdier, and they try substituting an umbrella, which flies out more cleanly. Michael Mayer, the director, says with satisfaction, “It’s a belch!”

Staging this revival of Little Shop is “illegal fun,” as Groff puts it. The original ran from 1982 to 1987 but never transferred to Broadway, at the insistence of writer-lyricist Howard Ashman, who wanted to preserve the show’s off-kilter spirit in a smaller space. Ashman and composer Alan Menken would go on to fill the Disney Renaissance — which consisted of films like The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast — with the Marie’s Crisis–ready melodies and queer subversions you can already hear in Little Shop (Ashman died of aids-related complications in 1991). Despite a Broadway staging that kicked off in 2003, this version is staying put at the Westside Theatre Off Broadway in hopes of preserving the quirky spirit of the original. There’s a lot of laughter in rehearsal as well as dress codes like a “kimono Wednesday,” which Mayer enforces by handing me a spare kimono when I drop in that day.

I can’t imagine anyone who is consistently involved in or adjacent to homicide having a better time. In addition to playing a murderously nice guy in Little Shop, Groff stars in Netflix’s David Fincher–produced drama Mindhunter, playing an FBI agent who interviews serial killers; the show is based on the real work of John Douglas, who was one of the first criminal profilers. Considering he’s no big fan of true crime, Groff is somewhat confused about how he became a poster boy for gore and mutilation, though he’s enjoying the texts from friends who point out that even when he does musical comedy, there’s a dark edge involved. A few days after we meet in Philadelphia, we’re talking over breakfast at the cozy Grey Dog in Chelsea, where he insists on paying for everything, picking up all the water and utensils, and getting up from the table to refill my coffee cup when it’s empty.

Groff signed up to star in Little Shop this spring after careful consideration, by which I mean he got the offer and then listened to the original cast recording on repeat for a whole weekend. He’d never played Seymour before, unlike the majority of white male theater actors, but he had positive memories of seeing the first performance of the 2003 Broadway version just after high school, when he was rehearsing the role of Rolf in a non-Equity tour of The Sound of Music. “I wanted to make sure that I’m bleeding for it eight times a week,” he says, which is his measure for doing musicals; he wants to make sure he won’t get bored with the material. Even now, when I assume he might want a break from it during rehearsals, Groff still has the album on repeat. “I never went to college, and I’m not educated, really, so I couldn’t say, like, intellectually why that is,” he says. “When I listened to it, it shot through my heart.”

There’s a clue, however, in the way he remembers obsessing over the film version of the show as a seventh-grader, standing in his kitchen with the song “Skid Row” on repeat — specifically when Seymour sings, “Someone show me a way to get outta here.” It was an appealing message to a closeted kid whom Groff describes as just “a sweaty, uncomfortable person with a secret that was so deep-rooted I wasn’t even flirting with the idea of being myself.” With a little distance from that version of himself (the child of a phys-ed teacher and a horse trainer, growing up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and occasionally having to clean stables on the weekends), Groff recalls the kinds of tells that seem obvious in retrospect, like, say, listening to “Skid Row” on repeat. Or developing an obsession with I Love Lucy, which he still watches before going to bed. Or dancing along to the Donna Reed’s Dinner Party album when his parents weren’t home. There’s a similar longing in Little Shop, which has the queerest kind of perspective on its central couple, as Audrey and Seymour imagine an unreachable, heteronormative life away from skid row and where she looks “like Donna Reed.”

If there’s a murderous kinship between Little Shop and Mindhunter, it extends to the shows’ shared skepticism about that white-picket-fence-style normalcy. Holden, Groff’s profiler character, is a cardboard cutout of a man with a girlfriend who introduces him to 1970s-style sexual liberation, but he is ultimately more fascinated with the deviancy of the killers he’s interviewing. To play him, Groff shuts down his charisma, amassing such emptiness between his angular jaw and his eyebrows that you wonder if he’ll slip into deviancy himself. It’s a performance of square, even sinister straightness that feels close to the best-little-boy performances of closeted queer men, though what seems to thrill Holden most in the show are his interviews with killers. “Sexuality is so complicated, and the people I’ve ended up working with who have cast me in straight parts are interested in looking at things in a complicated way,” Groff says, noting that he feels the argument about whether gay actors can play straight, or vice versa, has gotten “sillier” as time goes on. “Being out and gay and being myself, it allowed me to find people that weren’t closed-minded.”

Groff came out when he was 23, without directly consulting his agent, after he’d become an idol to the nation’s theater teens of Facebook by starring as the sexy, rebellious, tousle-haired Melchior in Spring Awakening. “I was so compartmentalized,” he says, “singing about sex but then not talking about it.” He remains thankful for the way Mayer, who also directed that show, choreographed the explicit sex between himself and Lea Michele’s Wendla clinically, without asking them about their own experiences. He hadn’t spent too much time worrying about the aftereffects of coming out on his career, which were more limiting in 2009 than they are now. “I did think I might not be seen as a romantic lead, but ultimately I was okay with that,” he says, explaining that he was in love at the time and didn’t want to hide it. “At 23, I’d rather just have a real romantic relationship than pretend to have one with a girl.”

Several years after coming out, Groff booked a leading role in HBO’s Looking, a comedy-drama about gay men in San Francisco, which he calls one of the most fulfilling roles he’s had. The series ran for two seasons and got a wrap-up movie but never quite found a viewership, even among queer audiences, instead receiving, as he puts it, “a total mixed bag of very extreme reactions.” Some of that was because people just didn’t like the show — which was often slower, more interior, and whiter and fitter than people may have wanted — and some of it was because it was “carrying a lot of weight; there wasn’t a lot of specifically gay content on a major cable network.” To Groff, making the show opened him up to the possibility of using material from his own experience in his work. Among the cast and crew, “we would talk about stories about PrEP and uncut dicks and monogamy,” he recalls, among “so many stories about anal douching,” and those anecdotes would make their way into the scripts. He was used to a sort of “closeted training of the mind” to abstract himself from his own experience. Looking taught him he could use it.

Recently, Groff has developed an ability to end up near the center of cultural sensations. He stepped in for Brian d’Arcy James as Hamilton’s fey Britpop version of King George III midway through the show’s Off Broadway run. It was a somewhat ideal gig, given that he was onstage for only about nine minutes a night, performed crowd-pleasing kiss-off songs, met Beyoncé, earned a Tony nomination, and got a lot of reading done backstage. This fall, he’s in Disney’s sequel to Frozen, where he returns to play Princess Anna’s rugged (at a Disney-appropriate level) love interest, Kristoff. In the first movie, while Idina Menzel’s Elsa got the vocal-cord shattering “Let It Go,” Groff sang only a few lines of melody between Kristoff and his reindeer, Sven. This time around, he’s putting his Broadway training to use with a full-length solo. It’s the second one he recorded for the movie, since the writers had one idea for a Kristoff piece (“a jam”) but then canned that song while promising Groff they’d write something different, which he didn’t quite believe. “Then they fucking wrote that other song,” he says, characteristically effusive. “I was like, Wow, and the animation of the song is so brilliant.”

As personable as Groff is and as successful as he has become — and as beloved, especially among theater fans and people like my mother — there’s a point at which he maintains a certain distance, in what feels like a way to stem his own impulses. He doesn’t use any social media, though he did consider it when Looking was struggling, before he realized “I’d have to be good at it and want to do it, and I don’t.” He has never thrown himself a birthday party, because the impulse to make sure everyone’s having a good time would stress him out too much. In behavior that reminds me of both a secret agent and Kim Kardashian, he regularly goes through and deletes all his texts after responding to each of them. “I want to make sure I get back to everyone,” he says, holding his iPhone up in front of me to reveal the remarkably few surviving messages.

Before Groff gets up to leave breakfast and travel to rehearsal by way of the single-speed bicycle he rides around Manhattan, we end up talking about the larger trajectory of his career. Considering that he’s scaling down for a revival run of a musical Off Broadway, was he ever the kind of actor who thought of his work as building up to something? A big film? A franchise? “I think I gave that up when I came out of the closet,” he says. “I gave up the idea that there was an end goal or ideal or some kind of dream to work toward.” An image appears in my mind of the life Audrey sings about in Little Shop, a place that’s comfortable, traditional, and expected, somewhere that’s green. “When I moved to New York, what I wanted was to be on Broadway. That happened and then I came out, and it’s sort of been anybody’s guess since then,” Groff says. “I like when something makes me cry or I can’t stop listening to it. Okay, I want to do that.”

Little Shop of Horrors is in previews and opens October 17 at Westside Theatre Upstairs. Buy tickets here.

#jonathan groff #interview

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.12 (Between a Rock and a Bra Place)

The Fan Favorite Episode

- Lizzie and Miranda are lamenting about having to play dodgeball in PE class. They also express their concern about falling behind some of the other girls in their grade because they are now wearing bras unlike them.

- Because of girls like Kate Sanders, they think that wearing a bra will automatically make one popular and empowered in a way. So, they feel like it’s high time they should start shopping for bras.

- Miranda asks Lizzie if her mom, Jo could drive them and drop them off at the mall after school. However, Lizzie thinks that she will want to come along with them. Miranda suggests they should lie to her and tell her they want to shop for school supplies, which should be able to signal to Lizzie’s mom that they are going on a safe and innocent shopping excursion.

“I want a bra!”

They sure do look like they are up to something huh?

- Lizzie and Miranda arrive at Lizzie’s house after school and they prepare themselves to let Jo know that they want a ride to the mall to shop for school supplies. However, there are a couple of cracks in this seemingly full-proof plan; They are not specific enough in mentioning the type of school supplies they want and Jo even called Gordo to come over and join the girls.

- Obviously, Lizzie and Miranda are not keen for Gordo to come along because they are shopping for bras. They then express how Gordo doesn’t need to come along because he’s not in their class where they need those school supplies. But Gordo is in all their classes (except gym); So he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Looks like they are dropping the ball on this one.

- Jo becomes highly suspicious towards all of this and she questions only Lizzie specifically on what she needs to buy at the mall and Lizzie starts to break down and well, we then get this iconic moment:

Lizzie really wants a bra y’all

- Jo is feeling extremely elated about this revelation from Lizzie and she is delighted to take both Lizzie and Miranda bra shopping. On the other hand, Gordo just feels weird about what just happened and he decided to dis-invite himself from this shopping trip.

Matt: The Martial Artist

My favorite episode of Matt to date

- Matt shows his dad, Sam a page of a magazine showing an advertisement for a ‘Jet Li Sweepstakes’ contest where one lucky person will get the opportunity to appear alongside the Chinese actor and martial artist in his new untitled movie as his new sidekick.

- Sam asks for his wife’s opinion about Matt applying for this contest and she isn’t down for it at first but after Sam tells her that Matt probably isn’t going to win and they will be seen as ‘cool parents’ after this, she then agrees to it.

- Sam wants Matt to go for the conservative essay writing option as their contest submission and as predicted, Matt isn’t too fond of writing one. But because Gordo has decided to stay back to help Matt and Sam with the contest by using his camera to film a short video submission for Matt, Sam has no other choice but to now go for the option of filming and submitting a video.

Lizzie and Miranda Are Grown Young Adults

Miranda is thinking to herself, “How did I get myself into this mess?”

- At the mall, Lizzie and Miranda feel very embarrassed about having Lizzie’s mom to help them shop for bras because Jo is a little too excited about it and teenagers are you know, embarrassed by their parents most of the time.

- They both try to ditch Jo by pretending to be lost but as soon as they scrammed, they bump into their English teacher, Mr. Coppersmith. Okay, who is he and why haven’t I seen or remembered him? I think he is a one-time, one-episode teacher?

- Jo spots them and their teacher and doesn’t seem to pick up on the awkwardness in the room and proceed to hand over a bunch of bras for them to try on, right in front of him.

- Next, we cut to Lizzie and Miranda at the changing room and they are discussing about really telling Jo that they want to shop alone. Jo interrupts their conversation and opens the curtains of the changing stall Lizzie is in. This clearly agitates Lizzie and she kinda snaps at her mom and tells her that they don’t need her help shopping and she needs to leave them alone.

That sudden change of expression done by Hallie was brilliant.

- I feel so bad for Jo; Teenagers can be so insensitive sometimes like me back when I was a teenager. Jo recognizes Lizzie’s frustration and decides to play it cool by not scolding Lizzie and even offers her $40 for them to shop for their bras while she waits for them at the food court.

- Honestly, this is some of the best acting in the show thus far by both Hallie and Hilary.

Gordo: The Director

I think Gordo is a really good male-figure for Matt to look up to, besides his dad.

- Gordo is using this opportunity to put his skills as a director and filmmaker to the test and already, he has planned out the kind of establishing shots he wants to take of Matt. Sam is quite unsure about all of this and he thinks that interviewing Matt and asking him generic questions is good enough for the submission.

- Gordo wants this movie to be big and is confident that this martial arts movie he is about to film is going to set Matt’s entry apart from the others.

One good thing I can say about this is nice try I guess?

- We watch some snippets of the film at first and it doesn’t look too good nor realistic. There was a weird voice-over work done by Gordo, which I guess is the style of dubbed Chinese martial arts films back then and the action scenes were terrible.

- We move over to the scene where Matt tries to take a pebble from his master’s (played by Sam) palm but the scene didn’t go as planned because Sam didn’t stick to the script. He feels that everything Gordo is doing so far is a rip-off of Kung Fu movies out there.

- He then pulls a Jo Mcguire and leaves the kids to do their own thing without him. But what they don’t know is that he has secretly called this guy named ‘David’ for some help. And we all know that this is the late great David Carradine (older brother of Robert Carradine who plays Sam), who starred as  Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s series, Kung Fu and as Bill in the Kill Bill film franchise.

Kate and Claire Alert

- Lizzie and Miranda are not exactly sure on what they need to look out for when picking out a bra. The are just not familiar with bra sizes. To make matters worse, they bump into Kate Sanders and Claire Miller at the same store.

I think it’s cute that Kate is shopping with Claire and her mom

- We get some bickering at the beginning but things took a turn when they find out that Kate and Claire are both shopping with Claire’s mom. Lizzie and Miranda rub in their faces that they get to shop alone. I think shopping alone as a teen without your parents isn’t what I consider as ‘cool’.

- Anyways, this doesn’t stop Claire from giving them one her shady comebacks before they leave:

Their secret handshake is just a high five and a hair flip lol

Lizzie Needs Her Mom Back

- Lizzie and Miranda continue to be lost when it comes to bra shopping and Lizzie finally recognizes that she needs her mom now more than ever. They find Lizzie’s mom at the food court and try to apologize to her but Jo tells them that she can understand where they’re coming from and admits how embarrassing she can be.

- They admit that although they try to act like adults, they are far from being ready to handle all of this alone. Lizzie also apologizes to her mom for the rude behavior she displayed at the dressing room earlier. She realizes that the adult thing to do is to actually ask her mom for help instead of trying to figure out everything on their own. This is honestly a great lesson to teach to young girls and boys.

Here Comes David

I just get chills from this entrance. David had such amazing presence on screen.

- Matt and Gordo are struggling to film the ‘pebble taking’ scene without Sam and they decide to find him and plead for him to help them. The next thing they know, David pops into the backyard and greatness has basically arrived.

The Carradine Brothers

- Matt demonstrates some of his martial arts ‘skills’ to David and David tells him that he has a lot of work to do. That’s definitely a sure thing.

When the pupil becomes the masters

- We then get a cool montage of Matt’s Kung Fu training and fight scene with David to the legendary song ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ by Carl Douglas. Matt even nails the ‘pebble taking’ scene down. Afterwards, we get a chilling exit from David as he walks back into the house and disappears from a distance.

- Gordo then asks Sam who was that man who all of a sudden came and taught Matt Kung Fu and Sam responds to him and says he has “known him all of his life and is like a brother to him”. Well, that’s because he’s your real life brother lol.

Closing Off

- During Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda’s three way phone conversation, Lizzie remarks how she cannot believe Gordo spent an entire day with her dad and brother but considering the other alternative he had, he was happy with his decision. He just wants Lizzie and Miranda to give him the heads up next time when they shop for bras and other female-gender related items.

What a way to close an episode

- Sam pick up a phone call and on the other end of the line is the person calling from the Jet Li sidekick contest and to his shock and horror, Matt won the contest!

Overall Thoughts

- I can honestly say that this is one of the best episodes of the season so far. Lizzie and Miranda’s bra shopping story-line with Lizzie’s mom was hilarious and cringe-worthy to watch, but in a good way. I’m sure this scene had so many young girls who were able to relate to it.

- The lesson of recognizing and admitting you need help from your parents despite the flawed perception that adults always have to do things solo is very deep and it should be ingrained in every person’s mind.

- And finally, this is the first episode that I actually love Matt and Sam’s story-line. It was super entertaining to watch and although you can say it’s all action and comedy and there’s no lesson to take away from it, everything was executed perfectly. And I appreciate how they were able to get Robert’s brother David to appear in this episode since he was such a icon in the martial arts film and television genre.

#lizzie mcguire #lizzie mcguire episodes #kung fu fighting #i want a bra #bra shopping #hilary duff #david carradine #kill bill #robert carradine #jake thomas #adam lamberg #hallie todd #lalaine #disney #disney channel #episode review #episode recap #disney nostalgia #disney shows #2000s nostalgia

[12loona-archived]

[INTERVIEW] LOONA for the 10Star Magazine cover story (May issue) by 10Asia

The concept of the photoshoot is ‘girls in a fairy tale’. We often dream of being the protagonist as we read fairy tales as kids. Is there a particular character you wanted to be, or liked? HeeJin: “I wanted to be Jasmine from Aladdin. Maybe it’s because I learned belly dance as a kid, but Jasmine was so pretty to me. I wanted to try her clothes and her hairstyle.” HyunJin: “Snow White. I could have fun playing with the dwarves and meet a handsome prince too. And experience coming back from death. (Laughs) I like challenging myself on new things, and I wanted to become Snow White and experience lots of extraordinary things.” HaSeul: “Beauty and the Beast for me. But not Belle, I empathize more with the Beast. Watching it as a kid, of course the beautiful Belle was the protagonist, but rewatching it after growing up a little, I could see the Beast’s perspective. I felt sorry for him, and could empathize with the Beast being tender on the inside but pretending to be tough on the outside.” ViVi: “Not a fairy tale, but the Little Mermaid from the Disney film. Ariel is admirable for setting out for love and her dream. I like that feeling of freedom.” Yves: “Little Mermaid for me too. My aunt owned a video rental store and she would show me The Little Mermaid every day. It was so pretty seeing her swim with her fins, red hair waving in the water, and I would copy it all the time. I remember pretending I had fins.” Olivia Hye: “Mulan for me. She’s so awesome. She has a different feel from the other princesses and I like her because she’s brave and gallant and strong.” Yeojin: “Thumbelina. I’m small and so is she so I think it’s a good fit. And the Frog Prince too, even though that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to be. I just have a soft spot because my symbolic animal is the frog. (Laughs)” Read the full translation of the interview under the cut. Full translation by Littel_Johnn (via Reddit).

LOONA has three units and one solo unit. […] Could you boast about the concept of each unit? Yves: “LOONA yyxy feels like a bouncy girl. Fresh and unique. Each member has a symbolic emotion. I’m faith, Chuu is love, Go Won is hope and Olivia Hye is anger. Those emotions come together to form youth. So I want to call LOONA yyxy a shining youth.” HaSeul: “Loona 1/3 is a unit of innocence. HeeJin, HyunJin, HaSeul, and ViVi express the freshness of first love. Our unit song is ‘Love&Live’, and it’s a song that confesses wanting to meet someone after hiding our feelings for a while. I’m sure that whenever you listen to this song, you’ll feel nostalgic and soft.” Kim Lip: “LOONA ODD EYE CIRCLE is a sexy and powerful unit. We had a girl crush concept unlike the innocence of the full group, so we left an intense impression when ODD EYE CIRCLE first appeared. We’re different right from the gaze and atmosphere. (Laughs)” YeoJin: “I’m in a solo unit. Our label actually told me that ‘Yeojin, you are the hidden card of LOONA!’ I’m not sure, but I think they trusted that I will be able to do well on my own. I’m a little insecure because I didn’t train for very long, so I do extra practice on my own without the unnies. But I think I’ve grown for sure compared to when I started, because HeeJin unnie and Choerry unnie helped me a lot.” There are many members, so there must be someone with a unique nickname. Could anyone say that my nickname is the most unique? HeeJin: “Me. The fans call me Dangun because I was the first member to be revealed. With this name they’re saying that I was the one who made LOONA. It’s a really meaningful nickname and I love it, so I always say Dangun Heejin when introducing myself.” Yves: “My nickname is the Soft Jaguar. My solo song had an elegant and chic concept so our label gave me the swan, but fans said I have charisma like a jaguar on the stage but have a soft side off of it, so they gave me this nickname.” Chuu: “I’m a gang-ur-jwee. Not a gang-ah-ji (‘puppy’), you have to roll your tongue like this. Isn’t it cute and unique?” Go Won: “I have one that’s more of a good fit than unique. I’m the ASMR of LOONA. People say my voice has a bright feel, and fans say it’s like a fairy voice, so I think ASMR is a good fit. Like a comfy voice you could fall asleep to. I think it’s addictive.” You recently finished promos for your second promoted track, “Butterfly”. You had good results, getting to first place candidates on music shows, and the music video breaking 20 million views. It must be a special feeling. HyunJin: “It was short so I feel unsatisfied, but also content that we had awesome promotions. The ‘Butterfly’ choreo doesn’t have spots for resting. I’d never practiced so much in my life. I think the good results might have been due to the hard preparations. We’ll show you more growth next time, prepping even harder. And I’ll hope expectantly for first place too.” Chuu: “For this album we practiced all night and into the morning. It would have been easy for members to get on edge, but we understood and cared for each other so it made our teamwork even more solid. There were lots of funny moments too, taking care of each other’s meals and waking each other up. Even apart from the results, I think this promo built a lot of good memories.” JinSoul: “Not only did we get better results than ‘Hi High’, but I’m proud that we were able to really feel our growth. The members practiced so much leading up to the comeback. We grew closer and also our skills grew a lot. There’s also this confidence that we’ll be able to show even more based on the experience from this time.” “Butterfly” got attention for beautiful formations and a dynamic yet gentle performance. Especially the jumping move. Go Won: “I was the one in the jump part. I get scared easily, so when I first climbed on the members I couldn’t even stand and would just tremble. But Olivia Hye and Yves [unnie] told me ‘Don’t worry, we will never drop you’. So we trusted in each other and I got up there to do the choreo.” Olivia Hye: “I could feel Go Won unnie shaking up there. On some days she would go up comfortably, but shake on other days. So I did the performances nervous every day. I got nerves no matter how much I practiced, but now that it’s over it’s all good. (Laughs) I also have good memories from her trying out lots of shoes to find one that doesn’t hurt when stepped on, since we wear boots.” Even in this short interview we can feel LOONA’s charms. What’s the team’s charm, according to the members? HeeJin: “I can confidently say that we have charms in twelve colours for twelve people. Every member has a different charm. Some of us feel next-door, others are sharp. We’re also down-to-earth unlike what you might expect out of the girls. We each debuted with solo songs through the LOONA project, and they all have different concepts and charms. Oh, and LOONA is also tops in terms of handling different concepts. (Laughs)” ViVi: “I think LOONA is most beautiful when all twelve are in the same picture. Each member is different, but in the full group we become pretty and innocent.” Yves: “Mystery. LOONA’s music videos contain our narrative/universe. So that leads fans to predict different theories through them. Even for us, it’s fun to piece things together like, ‘Was this the meaning of what we filmed?’ If the videos were just pretty to look at it might be a little boring, but I think this makes them interesting.” HaSeul: “The pretty and lovely LOONA members are themselves the charm. I’m proud that I’m part of LOONA, and I’m proud of our members. I look at the photos and videos of the members often, and every time they’re so pretty and bright. They tell me I have Dal-bushim (‘LOONA pride’), but even beyond that I think LOONA has a wholesomeness that makes you feel good.” Could you name a reason to fall for you? Chuu: “I have the charm of making you happy. Your happiness index will go up when you look at me. Fans also tell me that looking at my videos or photos makes them feel warm, like in sunlight.” Yves: “You’ll fall for my chameleon-like charms. A lot of people see my calm side, but I can dance hip-hop intensely, or mesmerize you to a sexy song. I’m adorable when doing aegyo and can immerse you in emotions with a ballad. It’s the charm of making you curious and expectant.” Choerry: “I’m probably the only member of LOONA who can handle every single concept. I can span all of innocent and sexy. Fresh like a vitamin, but girl crush charms popping out too. That odd charm is the reason to fall for me.” HeeJin: “I’m sharp on the stage, but like a cute and lovely little sister off the stage. I think that gap is why you might fall for me. I showed off both my vocals and belly dance on MBC’s Masked Singer recently, and many people told me that that’s HeeJin’s reverse charm.” Kim Lip: “You’ll fall for my many talents. I’m good at everything. I have passion and ambition too. So I tried lots of different things. For music I learned piano, violin, guitar and gayageum, and in sports too I tried everything I wanted to. I’m a fast learner too but I think I’m just really curious. And yet I’m shy, so I can’t show it all and get embarrassed instead. Many fans think that’s adorable so that must be a reason to fall for, right?” Olivia Hye: “I’m part of the maknae line, but I’m tall and charismatic. My looks might make me seem chic, but my voice is cute. I’m cool on stage, but have a lot of everyday aegyo. I think that clear difference might be what fans like in me.” ViVi is LOONA’s only foreign member. Because of your cute looks and imperfect Korean, we felt like the members adore you despite you being the oldest. ViVi: “The members help me a lot. HaSeul especially. I don’t know a lot of things when we promote because of my Korean, but each time the members explain in many ways so it’s been fun. They all say that I’m like the maknae. It might be because my personality is to lean on friends and family a lot, but also because my Korean is kind of like a child so that feels like a maknae.” YeoJin is the team’s youngest. Living with eleven unnies might be reassuring but perhaps it’s also hard sometimes? YeoJin: “Having lots of unnies is always good, but especially when we go to the broadcast studios. I don’t feel intimidated because I have so many unnies. (Laughs) But sometimes it is difficult. Everyone has such clear unique traits. I’m the maknae, but some unnies have personalities where you want to care for them. In times like that it’s really ambiguous. They always try to care for me because I’m the youngest, so I feel like that might be hard on them. Maybe that’s a dilemma that every group’s maknae has.” HeeJin’s the only member who’s a solo CF model. There must be both pressure and responsibility. HeeJin: “Definitely a lot of pressure and responsibility in doing individual work. But I’ve been able to do it confidently because the members root for me a lot. I want to be able to do a lot of things along with the members.” Chuu’s biting heart became a big topic online. Lots of celebrities applying it made it an even bigger deal. Chuu: “I did it because I felt so happy while drawing hearts for fans at a fansign. I found out that it was floating around as a GIF later. I’m thankful that they call it the “Chuu heart” and that many celebrity seniors are using it.” Who is LOONA’s role model? Or a direction you want to pursue? HeeJin: “I have artists that I like and look up to, but not a role model. I want to gradually put together a singer named HeeJin rather than follow someone else.” Kim Lip: “I’m similar to Heejin. I don’t have a set role model. There are seniors whose performances I think are cool, and others whose vocals I think are beautiful. There’s lots to learn from each person so I want to pick up their good traits. And I want to collect those traits and convert them into my unique charm.” YeoJin “My role models are Girls’ Generation and BTS. Girls’ Generation sunbaes are probably every girl group’s goal. I always feel a warm and healthy energy from them. BTS sunbaes are just amazing. I want Loona to be an amazing group that can give off healthy energy too.” HyunJin: “I’m interested in acting, so Gong Hyo-jin sunbaenim is my role model. I like her particular aura. I learned acting too when I was a trainee, but right now I’m focusing on LOONA. If I get an opportunity, I want to act in a fresh youthful role, or someone impactful.” What kind of girl group would you like the public to think of Loona as? Olivia Hye: “I hope we can establish a colour to the point that when you hear a song, you recognize it like ‘Oh, this is a LOONA song.” I hope we’ll be a group that you watch and listen to with confidence. We’re working hard to get there.” Chuu: “I hope LOONA will be a group that’s good with performances and good with our faces. I want to be called a group that has both visuals and skills. Because we’ve got such good teamwork. It’s my dream to be called a group that you want to see whenever and every day, a group that you want to be with for a long time.” Go Won: “A team that can attempt diverse concepts. I want to hear that LOONA feels different every time you see us.”

#heejin #hyunjin #haseul #yeojin #vivi #kim lip #jinsoul #choerry #yves #chuu #go won #olivia hye #loona #ot12 #t:interview #t:translation #10star magazine #era: x x #190425 #long post

[arbeaone]

OPEN Magazine The Serial Kidders Issue Published on October 09, 2014

[ View larger version here ] Text from the article can be read below. (There may be some errors.)

SERIAL KIDDERS

NOEL FIELDING

By Zoe Yvonne Delaney

Noel Fielding the man Phil Jupitus magnificently described as 'a Gothic George Best', is 41 years old! Forty freaking one. This is like when I learned that Gwen Stefani was actually my mum's age, all over again. It’s not that he's especially baby faced; it’s just that he looks like he'd be more at home smoking outside Bold St Coffee with graduates, rather than down the local pub, playing darts (I have no idea what men in their forties actually do; I'm just lazily stereotyping). Either way, he's looking good for his age - he could probably still blag a student ticket on an Arriva bus.

Perhaps ‘The Fountain of Youth' from Fielding's most notable work The Mighty Boosh, actually does exist? In the hit TV show, Fielding played the ultimate confuser ("Is it a man? Is it a woman? I'm not sure if I mind!"), Vince Noir. Alongside his highly wound sidekick Howard Moon (Julian Barratt), The Boosh amassed a cult like following and took viewers on a surreal journey through time and space with their unique brand of comedy. Androgynous Vince; with his childlike outlook on life, narcissism and impressive hair hubris ("A basic back-comb structure, slightly root-boosted framing with a cheeky fringe") quickly became one of the most popular characters in British comedy. The multi-award winning comedy troupe went on to produce three BBC series; two live UK tours and see Fielding and Barratt dubbed the funniest double-act in Britain' by NME.

Since we last saw him in Zooniverse and Nabootique, Noel has been busy going solo. There has been two series of the inescapably whimsical Luxury Comedy, an inspired stint as a team captain on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, the infamous appearances on Big Fat Quiz and now he's about to embark on a nationwide tour - his first in five years. An Evening with Noel Fielding promises to be a magical mix of his eccentric brand of stand-up comedy, live animation and music. There will even be some special guests too as he's taking his brother, Mike Fielding (Naboo) and Luxury’s Tom Meetan along with him on the 34 date stint. It certainly sounds like it’s going to be value for money. I caught up with Noel to discuss the upcoming Liverpool date but to be honest, we mainly ended up chatting about beards, Cliff Richard and Russell Brand's move into politics.

OPEN: So, your live show is called An Evening with Noel Fielding - it sounds more like an ITV special with the likes of Michael Buble rather than a comedy show?

NOEL: Haha, that is the angle I'm going for, there are going to be a lot of Frank Sinatra covers [...] When I booked it, I didn't really know what kind of show it was going to be - I hadn't written it. I was thinking it may be an amalgam of things; I knew I wanted to do some stand-up, I have some characters and have people with me - quite a mixture. But yeah, I was aware of what I did with the title. I did do it slightly tongue in cheek because it’s really not the sort of show I would ever do and it really made me laugh - it’s the sort of thing Barry Humphries would do.

They'll definitely be a mention to Michael Buble now you've said that though. The thing is with 'An Evening With...’ is that it sounds like you're 70 and ITV are giving you a pat on the back for being amazing but Buble has got to be incorporated into it too, now.

A lot of the Operation Yewtree suspects loved a good old fashioned 'An Evening With...' but I reckon were safe with Buble. We hope.

Yeah well this doesn't go to print for a few weeks so you never know....

What’s happening with Cliff at the moment, is he alright? I hope to God he didn't do anything. If Cliff goes then the whole fabric of society will disintegrate.

The whole of the 70's are going to be in prison, that's what’s happening. Oh it’s horrible.

It's looking that way. Now your last solo show was scheduled in 2010 but, according to the fountain of knowledge that is Wikipedia, it got postponed due to you working on The Boosh movie. Where the hell is that film?

We didn't really know what to do. Oh God, I don't know what we were doing. We were supposed to be going to America to do a show... then we decided no to that. Then we started writing a film but we didn't know which one to write so we wrote half of a film, it was a musical like Rocky Horror, and then a different half of another film. They didn't go together, obviously, which wasn't useful to anyone. We ended up doing neither of those things and I started working on an animated thing while Julian worked on something else - it was a bit of a shambles at that point. Also, that last big Boosh tour, it was like 100 dates - I was wasn't really in shape to tour.

But I'm back! Has it really been that long? 2010? I like doing that keeps people on their toes. It looks like its took me four years to pluck up the courage to come back on tour but I've done three series of the Buzzcocks, two of Luxury and I've done little bits of stand-up, but not a tour. I have been busy.

I’m not judging. Are you looking forward to this long awaited tour then?  

Yeah, it’s going to be nice to see some faces. Comedy is best with an audience otherwise it all feels a bit weird; making it in secret and putting it on telly. You don't really know how its gone; you get ratings and a few reviews but its not the same as going out into a room full of people.

When I was texting all my friends showing off that I was interviewing you, I noticed that the iPhone decides to autocorrect your name to Noël. What do you think about Apple giving you a Christmassy edge - too hipster?

I was born on Christmas Day, just like Jesus. Haha, no I wasn't...

I knew, I have read your Wikipedia after all. Speaking of hipsters - the man who created Vince Noir must be a tiny bit hipster?

You know what, no - I'm not like that. I’ve got loads of friends from Shoreditch who've got massive beards, short hair, tattoos - that seems to be the new hipster look doesn't it? When I went to Brooklyn, the Williamsburg crew all had massive beards - it’s quite funny, it’s like sitting in a convention of lumberjacks. Everyone looks like their dad, it’s all quite weird.

I can't really grow a great beard. And also, I’ve never wanted a massive beard. Do I really want something that covers up my face? That seems like a waste!! Haha, no, I'm joking.

Too late, that's going to be the headline of the interview.

The truth is I'm just not very good at growing a beard. It all goes a bit rubbish. Russell can grow a good one, Russell Brand.

Ahhh, speaking of Russell, he tweeted you the other day - are you guys really going to reunite as the Goth Detectives for The Big Fat Quiz of the Year?

Yeah we might be...(intriguing voice)

Really?

Maybbbbbeeeeee

I want an exclusive, come on.

Ahhh ok. I don't know if I'm allowed to say.

I'm taking this as a yes, Noel.

Ah, are you? We might be, we might not... hahaha. I haven't got black hair anymore - I can’t do it!

You can! Come on, hair dye is like a fiver from Boots.

Alright then. Five quid from Boots, yeah? I'll speak to Russell and see what he says. He’ll find the Big Fat Quiz too flippant now he's a politician.

He has gone political of late, hasn't he? Are you planning to join him on the revolution?

Well, the thing is, I'd like to... no, basically. Hahaha. I've heard that he's currently writing a political manifesto.

Really?

I know! Its insane isn't it? He's gone serious. And I think Eddie Izzard is running for Mayor at some point - all the comedians are going for it. I better get involved somehow. I don't really know how; it’s not my vibe, that. Maybe I could remake The Monster Raving Looney Party?

You could form The Goth Detectives Party with Russell?

The Goth Detective Party! Everyone has to wear black! We can spray all the Boris Bikes black, it will be amazing. I'm up for that lets do it!

When you discuss this with Russell I want full credit.

Haha, okay. I’ll wear a badge saying "It was Zoe's idea" and if it all goes wrong we’ll definitely, definitely say it was your idea.

Yeah but if it goes right then I'm laughing, I've started a political revolution.

If it goes really wrong then we’ll all have to grow beards.

Deal. I'll probably grow a better one than you by the sounds of things.

Haha. Basically we’ll grow massive beards and stand in Shoreditch then all my mates will get arrested instead of us. My mate Baccy has such a good beard, its huge. I was like, "how long did that take?" and he claims two months. I was like, "get lost it would take me about ten years to grow that". What do you think about them, you like them?

Not for me. I'm not sure why girls are pretending we really fancy men with them - grow a personality, not a beard. My dad had a beard growing up, so I sort of have a fondness for them, though.

My dad in the 90's had a beard, sleeve tattoos and smoked rolls up - he'd be so on trend now.

He was the pioneer of the look.

Either that or just a bit lazy. Now we've gone a bit off topic with talk of beards and politics - any plans for the return of The Boosh?

Maybe. The thing is, never say never. It’s difficult because when you get involved in something you have to see it through and it takes a while. I don't know when we’ll both be free but we still do fantasise about writing the film.

Well you should get cracking, Wikipedia has blown your cover with that one-you've got people excited!

I know! We need a year where we can sit down and write. People have such a fondness of The Mighty Boosh and it lives on in their memories so we don’t want to come back and do something not as good.

True. A lot of the great series bow out after two or three series.

Ah yeah, that's true. If we came back and do something not very good then we’ll have undone all the good work that's been done. It’s tricky. You never know what to do.

You can give me a ring once you've wrote it and I'll let you know...

Yeah we'll try that I'll send it to you and you let me know.

That would be great. I promise I won't leak it - I won't even save it to iCloud or anything!

I'll send it to you in a beard!

I best start befriending those who enjoy the lumberjack look, then.

#Noel Fielding #An Evening with Noel Fielding #OPEN Magazine #`❦

[huntertales]

Part Two: Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner. (Trial and Error S08E14)

Episode Summary: After months of work, Kevin deciphers the demon tablet on how to close the gates of Hell. Sam, Dean and the reader learn in order to do so one must face three series of trails designed by God. The first one—kill a hound of Hell. Sam and Dean argue on who is to complete the trials. The reader wants in, too. Despite her vulnerable condition. When Sam learns about her desire, he gives her an ultimatum: stay out of the way. Or he’ll come clean to his brother about their shared secret. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader. Word Count: 6,947.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

When it came to end of the world situations like dealing with the apocalypse or stopping another severe set of problems like trying to stop an angel and a king of hell from opening a door to purgatory—just to name a few—you and the boys always worked together as a team. And that's how all of you thought it was going to be when you got to this point of closing the gates of hell for good. Life got caught up in the way and unexpected events came up, making it fall on the shoulders of the boys to make sure everything went according to plan.

Sam would admit that he wanted you here to help and make sure all didn't go to crap. But it didn't take a genius to know that it would be a suicide mission if you were lurking around here with a hell hound on the prowl. You wanted hell locked up for good like the brothers. And you’d do anything to make sure that it all went well, even if it meant you had to sit on the sidelines for this one. Not only for the safety of yourself, but for the next generation. So your history of pain and misery wouldn’t repeat itself all over again.

It was late into the morning when the Impala pulled up to a pair of iron gates that secluded off several acres of land, the property called "Cassity Farms" from the bold gold laters on the front. The security guard at the front waved them on after Dean made up some lie to get them access. For a bunch of rich people, they weren't too smart just letting a bunch of strangers on their land. It was clear from the over the top mansion and pristine farm land one of the Cassity’s knew how to spend their money. And thanks to the boys, they were going to be table to enjoy it just a little while longer before another hound ripped them to shreds.

"All right, keep an eye out. We're one short set of eyes. So we need to be sharp." Dean said. He parked the Impala so he could set up a plan for himself and Sam to follow so things on this trial would go smoothly. "Anybody with a hell hound on their ass is gonna be showing signs—hallucinating, freaking out—the usual.”

"And if we find someone?" Sam asked, wanting to know who was gonna be the lucky bastard to take on a hound and take a bath in the beast’s blood.

“You get ‘em clear. I spike Fido. The crowd goes wild.” Dean was the one who volunteered to do the dirty job before his brother could even get a single word out, flashing the demon knife that had been resting on the front seat. He tucked it safely into the inside of his pocket and got out, Sam following right behind. The both of them approached the tractor they parked not too far from and saw a pair of legs sticking out, working on the engine from the sounds of it. "Hey, pal, who runs this joint?"

The boys presumed the person underneath the hood was some worker tinkering with the engine was of the same gender. But when they saw the bottom half of the body roll forward and push themselves into a standing position, a young pretty woman greeted them. A smirk on her lips at how easy it was to assume things like this. "You're looking at her."

“You…” Sam trailed off for a second, not expecting to see someone like her from the picture he saw of the Cassity’s online. “Own the property?”

“Nope, just manage the property.” She said. “You guys here about the job?”

Dean smiled slightly, thinking this was gonna be a lot easier than he planned on getting close to the Cassity family. "How'd you know?"

"We get our share of drifters." The woman said. She crossed her arms over her chest and took a moment to look at the oldest Winchester up and down, as if she was inspecting him to see if he was right for the job. "You ever work on a farm before?"

"Definitely." Dean said, continuing to play right along with the little white lie. She didn't seem to buy into it from the look that crossed her face, to her, the boys didn't seem much like the type who got their hands dirty in a setting like this.

“We’re quick learners.” Sam added on to make the both of them sound right for the job.

The woman nodded her head slightly and remained silent for a few more seconds, as if she was still contemplating on giving two strangers the job position. Before she could make the executive decision on seeking a higher opinion, a man’s voice called out her name, grabbing her and Sam's attention. The younger man noticed a well dressed man approaching them, along with someone else walking in sync. Sam narrowed his eyes slightly, not being able to quite get a good look at the person from how their head was turned, observing the property. But there was something about them that looked so...familiar.

Sam could tell it was a woman from her features and body structure. Her clothing was nice, but not expensive enough to even try and rub elbows with the crowd the Cassity family ran with. He noticed a manual camera resting against her chest while the strap hung over her neck, drawing his attention to the necklace she wore. It was a heart-shaped locket from the looks if it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary from that. He only knew why he’d seen the face before when she made the mistake of tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear, making him catch sight of a one of a kind pair of earrings. The kind he gave to someone on Christmas years back.

The younger Winchester could feel his blood beginning to boil when he realized who he had been staring at this whole time, It was someone who he left behind in Kansas. Who threatened to expose their shared secret if she dare so tried to come along. Sam knew you could be reckless and stupid at times, but this...it was taking every single ounce of control for him not to grab you and yell at you for being here. But if he did act out on his anger, not only would he expose him and his brother, he'd take you down with him. And Sam had a feeling all of this would end up with you being escorted off the property in handcuffs.

"You have such a beautiful property. It's so hard to decide where to start with first. All of it's so breathtaking." You complimented the man on his luxurious mansion and acres of farmland. You turned your head to glance over at the owner for a moment, but it wasn't too long before they came across the person you last spoke to. You felt your smile beginning to grow at his tense body language, as if all of this was funny to you. "I've got a brand new roll of film, plus a few extra ones. I'm sure I can get all of it on my own."

"Let me introduce you to the woman in charge of keeping this place together. Y/N, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is Y/N." The man, who you knew as Carl, introduced you to the young woman. Both of you shook hands and exchanged a formal hello. "Y/N is here to do an article on us for one of those fancy interior decorating magazines Alice is always reading."

“Yeah. I've always found the Cassity’s such an interesting story. I'm sure our readers will love to see the property up close and personal." You said, giving the reason why you were allowed past the gates and onto their property. Sam took it upon himself to clear his throat, rather a little loudly, making you turn your gaze upon him. You pretended to gave him a slightly annoyed look, pretending to not know who he was, leading Ellie and Carl to think you were annoyed at this stranger. You looked back at Ellie and gave her a small smile. "I'm sorry. You were in the middle of something important, weren't you?"

"Who do we got here?" Carl asked, directing his attention to the two men.

"I'm Dean." The older Winchester introduced himself. You directed your attention for the first time to the man who agreed you should stay behind on this, no sort of anger in his expression. He even smiled at Carl when he shook hands with him, wanting to make a good impression on the man. You knew you'd get an earful from him when he got you alone. If he had the chance. The three of you were here on different lies. And yet somehow you beat them. “This is Sam."

"Oh. Carl Granville." He introduced himself to the brothers. "Pleasure."

"Pleasure." Sam repeated the greeting back to the man, shaking his hand. It was easy for him to keep himself composed and calm at the moment, because he knew once you and him were out of earshot from anyone important, he was going to give you one more chance to do the right thing before he did something he didn’t really want to do. "So you're not a Cassity?"

“No, my wife is. Her and her family own the place. I’m just one of those, uh—what do you call ‘em?—trophy husbands.” Carl patted his prominent stomach from the years of luxury meals and other things in his reach. You smiled slightly at his joke. Carl looked over at Ellie, taking a guess she was interviewing the men for the few spots they had open. "So, we hiring these fellas?"

“Not sure yet.” Ellie replied.

“Oh, come on.” Carl said. “They seem like swell guys.”

“Yeah. They seem like the type of men who know how to get down and dirty." You said, deciding to play along and agree with Carl on his decision. You looked over at the boys and gave them a slight smirk from what came out of your mouth next. "But it all comes down to if they are team players. Jobs like this need all hands on deck."

Carl gave his stamp of approval on the brothers, yet the final decision was down on Ellie. When he began walking again you followed right behind until you caught back up with him. Before you went too far, you looked over your shoulder and met eyes with Sam. You knew it was childish when you flashed him a victorious smirk when you went against his word.

Despite his threat about telling his brother about your condition, the both of you knew that it wouldn't be just you who got the wrath of Dean Winchester. It would be Sam as well. For keeping a secret like this for so long. The boys had just gotten things back to normal, was Sam really going to ruin that because you just wanted to help?

+ + +

Carl wasn't too bad for company while he showed you around the farm and told you about how he met his wife, Alice, who you had yet to meet. From what you could gather as you took pictures of the property, making use of the camera that had been sitting in the back of your closet for years, he seemed sweet and a well rounded—in more ways than one.

He told you about met his wife at a Valentine's day dance way back in the day. The two seemed like an unlikely pair that would ever fall in love; he was a nerdy outsider, Alice was the woman he admitted teased him for his personality. But no amount of bullying could stop him from loving her. So, on the big night of the dance, he marched in there dressed in his very best to impress the woman he secretly fawned over for years. And it was almost love at first sight. She saw him in a different light. You chalked up the story into being about Alice taking a chance on him.

While being in love was a wonderful thing, it didn't always satisfy a greedy heart. Nobody was satisfied with being dirt poor and in love. She guessed that Carl couldn't provide her with what she wanted, so she took it upon herself to make all her dreams come true. She wanted her cake and eat it, too. Alice sounded like the one who had the target on her back. Her family was the one who struck oil in a part of the country where it was near impossible to do so, ten years ago tomorrow. And when the big anniversary comes around, there would be a hell hound barging down her front door to rip out her chest and take the very thing she bidded away for a life in the lap of luxury.

Carl let you wander around the property for long as you wanted to take pictures of the farm and kill some time while Alice finished her horse back ride around the property. You made your way over to the stables to peek at the dozen horses they had and see where you could find the boys. You were not disappointed at what you saw; the boys had taken the job to work for the family, doing mundane tasks in order to get close to the family. If only they knew rich people loved to show off their wealth. You parked yourself right next to one of the horses and leaned yourself against the stable wall, trying your hardest not to laugh at what you were seeing.

"Crap—she literally meant crap." Dean had the unfortunate task of cleaning out the horses' pens and shoveling up the waste left behind. The smell alone of hay and fecal matter would make anyone want to be sick. He unwillingly shoveled up another pile and dumped the contents into the wheelbarrow. In doing so, he caught the sight of your rather amused expression, thinking the sight of him and his brother doing hard labor was nothing short of amusing. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought we told you to stay back."

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner." You quoted a famous movie line, thinking you were being funny. The annoyed glare and disapproving look from each of the boys told a different story. You rolled your eyes and directed your attention to the horse. You began to softly pet the animal softly and smiled at how well taken care of it was. "You know, if you let me tag along, you wouldn't have landed yourself in such a crappy situation."

Dean didn't think your humor was the least bit amusing. He walked up to the horse that you had been petting and stared straight at it, deciding to tell the animal about how he felt. "I hate you."

"I don't care. Do I look like a hippie?"

You and the boys found your attention being directed to the entrance of the barn at the sound of a very annoyed sounding feminine voice. You furrowed your brow slightly when you caught sight of whom you could only presume was Alice Cassity herself, dressed in her very riding clothes and boots that probably cost more than what Ellie made in a month. You furrowed your brow slightly from how upset she was getting from a suggestion Ellie made that sounded like a good idea to you. But rich people were penny pinchers, not spending on things that didn’t directly benefit them if they had to. And it seemed Alice fell right into that category.

“Organic food is better for the cattle.” Ellie tried to suggest a simple change that would benefit the animals that

looked after and took care of. But it seemed her boss didn’t want to hear it.

“My land, my animals, my money, my way—end of story.” Alice said in a strict tone of voice. You would think a woman worth much as her wouldn’t mind spending a few more bucks on making sure her animals were taken care of well enough as her. But it seemed she didn’t care much as the younger woman did.  

Ellie let out a sigh of defeat and made her way into the barn to continue on with her work.. You felt sort of bad for how Alice treated the younger woman when all she was doing was trying to do her job to the best of her ability. Dean decided to crack a joke to help clear the tense air when he saw Ellie coming his way. "She's a real piece of work, huh?"

"Alice Cassity's a piece of something, all right? But what are we gonna do?" Ellie asked. "She's the boss."

"Drink?" Dean proposed an idea.

You watched as Ellie smiled slightly at the older man's suggestion, in a kind of way that you've seen plenty of times before. The subtle, almost flirtatious kind at something stupid a handsome man said. It was easy to detect because you've done it plenty times at Dean when he cracked a joke, and plenty of other women have given it to him when he was single. Ellie looked the man up and down before making her way to the opposite side of the barn. You felt yourself inhaling a deep breath when Dean's head turned slightly to watch her walk away. A part of you not liking how he was staring at her for longer than he should.

“So, what are we thinking?” You asked, breaking the older man’s concentration where it shouldn’t be at the moment. You made your to the boys and crossed your arms over your chest. "Who's on the chopping block?"

"Well, Ellie's the help, so that rules her out." Dean said.

"And Carl really doesn't seem like the sell-your-soul type." You said. While you were talking to him you got the impression he was a simple and happy man who got lucky with love. It brought you back to the reason why you were in the first place, the Cassity’s. "Alice, maybe?"

"Should we go talk to her?" Sam wondered if that was the right thing to do right now.

"Why? So she can lie to us and then call the cops? No. No, we're gonna have to go stalker on this one, Sammy." Dean said. You felt his gaze fall upon you, already giving you a hint of what was going to come out of his mouth next. You rolled your eyes before he could even get a word out, already annoyed with what he had to say. “And this one is going to get the hell out of here and back home if she knows what’s good for her.”

Your expression hardened from the way he was treating you, as if you couldn’t help even yourself without getting into some kind of trouble. You knew he was trying to protect you from getting hurt. But you still felt at times he only looked at you like you were still a newbie at all of this...like he couldn’t trust himself to let you take control in fear of you getting hurt. You knew once he found out about everything it was going to be torture and countless battles to get him to not treat you any differently. Like you were helpless...or like your mother. Your mother had a complicated medical history that ended with her unable to carry a child to full term. Every single time she tired, it ended in failure. Heartbreak after heartbreak. It might have crippled a woman, some might have stopped after a while. But she never did for years. She kept hope that God would answer her prayers and bring her a healthy child. Just because she was a good person who saved a few lives, it wasn’t enough. Eventually the pain caught up with her and the hungry desire for success. So she did the unthinkable to have you. A mother did a lot of things to make sure their children would have a safe upbringing. Yours sold her soul, and when that wasn’t enough, she dragged her husband into her mess. She set you up for failure before you were even born. You wanted to break the cycle. You wanted to close the gates of Hell and banish the trouble she started. What you were doing for your unborn child was the complete opposite of what she had done for you. You were nothing like Ella. You were never going to be like her.

Dean was called away by Ellie when she needed her help with something, only adding more to your bad mood and sudden shift of dislike for her. What it was about her had yet to be discovered. So what if she smiled at Dean? Ellie thought he was some drifter in need of a job, a handsome and single man she could openly and subtly flirt with if she wanted. You were just some stranger here to take pictures and interview the people she worked for. You blamed it on your changing hormones for the way you were reacting.

You crossed your arms tighter of your chest and watched as Dean began to walk away, leaving you and Sam alone for the moment. It wasn't a second after he watched his brother and Ellie step away out of sight that his facade disappeared since he saw you. When you looked back over at Sam, you were greeted with his infamous bitch face. You weren't even the least bit threatened or scared from what he was about to say. You were ready to go at it with him.

"I told you to stay back, Y/N." Sam hissed at you in a whispered tone. You could hear the pure frustration dripping off from his voice. You shrugged your shoulders and gave him a nonchalant look, which only pissed him off even more. "I warned you about what I’d do if you dare so went near this."

"Yeah, I'll admit. You got me a little scared. But on the drive here, I got to thinking about this little thing call trust. And how long it took for Dean to do it after what you did to him. Do you think he's really gonna be able to trust you fully again about the fact that you’ve known about this for over a month now and never told him? Especially after everything that’s happened so far?" You went in the same direction he did yesterday in the bunker. You were hitting below the belt and going straight to the insecurities. The fresh wound to pour salt in to inflict the most pain. "Don't you ever talk about my child that way like you did yesterday. I would never do anything to hurt them.”

"I didn't say those things to be harsh. I was giving you the reality you're choosing to ignore. Do you honestly think Dean isn't gonna lose it on you first from what you're doing? He's gonna drag you out of here—kicking and screaming if he has to. You won't see the light of day until your due date. When are you going to realize it's not about you anymore, Y/N?” Sam questioned you. You gave him a look of disbelief from how he was talking to you. Like you were an idiot who had no clue of what you were going through. “It’s about the baby.”

"You don’t think I know there's a person growing inside of me at this very second? I don't know. The morning sickness, lack of a period, the certain smells that made me sick, the odd aches and pains, not to mention the mood swings remind me.” You told him. You listed off only a few of the symptoms you had to deal with in order to let nature take its course. “Why do you think I’m here in the first place? It’s for the baby. To play a lousy game of fetch with a hell hound? Or to close the gates for good?"

Sam let out a sigh from how you were acting. He knew there was no point of wasting his breath and trying to talk some sense into you. All he could hope that you would finally understand the risk you were posing just being here. "Go home, Y/N. This isn't your fight to win."

But it was your fight you needed to go up against. And it was yours to conquer. You wanted to tell him about how you felt yesterday before you felt, the need to do right and fix the mistakes you made. All of your excuses would just end up falling on deaf ears. Sam was so worried about the baby, he thought it as some sort of weakness. For you it was the complete opposite.

This baby was all your hope. Your reason why you were here in the first place, ready to put your own life on the line so they could have everything you never did. This little bundle of joy was going to be born into a world where they would never have to know about the fear, danger, dread...soul crushing disaster you went through. The trials were the only way that was ever going to happen. The boys might not understand now, but they will when all of this is over.

+ + +

You knew it was going to be a suicide mission going up against a creature that couldn’t be seen to the naked eye and never personally seen killed. You were going on pure hopefulness that a lot of salt rounds and a gun full of lead bullets with devil's traps would do the trick. The real hard part was trying to find Ruby's knife and stealing it from the boys to make sure you could do this right. You remembered Ellie going over a typical routine for herself and workers. The boys would be busy until nightfall working their asses off, which gave you the perfect opportunity to put your plan into action.

Sneaking back onto the property with a bag full of weapons was the easy part, the security guard at the front gate fell for the little white lie about how you forgot something important and desperately needed to get it back. The innocent smile and remark about how good of a job he was doing was all you needed to do to get yourself on the farm again. Your first stop before you did anything was the boys’ sleeping arrangements to get what you needed before you wandered the property to look for the big, bad  hell hound.

You were no stranger to picking locks and poking your nose around where you didn't belong. While you were for sure set on the idea that the boys had the knife close to them and not in the Impala, you didn't take into consideration that they might have it on them. You searched through all of their bags and in every crack of their temporary room, but nothing. It daunted on you that maybe they were one step ahead of you, tracking down the hound while you searched for the knife that was the only thing that could kill it. You were ready to throw caution to the wind and headed to the car you came in when you heard it—the familiar, spine tingling howl.

The hell hound snuck on the property while you and the boys were distracted with your own problems; the boys stalking after Alice, you frantically looking for the knife they had the whole time. Neither one of you suspecting that Carl wasn't innocent in this whole ordeal. He was the one who got torn to shreds while Alice wandered the property see what was spooking the horses. You didn't need to see the body up close and personal when the cops came to investigate the incident they were calling a wolf attack.

If it was Carl who sold his soul, then what for? It didn’t make sense for him to give up everything for Alice to have a wealthy life. Sure, they were happy and in love, maybe he just wanted to give her the luxury she deserved. You wandered around the farm looking for her to see what you could learn from her. She was in the stables grooming one of the horses, not looking like how a grieving widow should be. She seemed rather calm and concentrated on what she was doing. Her eyes weren’t bloodshot from crying, she seemed...okay.

“Mrs. Cassity?” You announced your presence when you slowly walked into the stables, giving her a warm and sympathetic smile from what she was going through. She didn’t seem confused as to what you were doing here this late at night. Nothing seemed to be bothering her at the moment. “I heard what happened to Carl. Even though we just met earlier today, I just wanted to give my condolences. And to make sure you were all right.”

“I’m fine.” Alice replied in a calm tone of voice. You furrowed your brow slightly, finding yourself being the one who was growing baffled from her reaction. You asked her if she was really okay. She thought about what she was feeling at the moment, seeming to grow slightly concerned for herself from how she was handling this. “I really am. And...I know I shouldn’t be because I loved Carl...I think. I just can’t remember why.” “Carl told me a little bit about you two. Gave me the impression that you two were head over heels in love with one another.” You said, baiting her into the conversation so she could tell you more. “Opposites attracting, if I may say. It was a cute story of how you two fell in love.”

“Carl grew up around here. We went to school together, and he was always mooning over me. But I never—I use to make fun of him.” Alice admitted. Her lips stretched into a faint smile at the memories of her delinquent younger self.

“If you don’t mind me asking ,the hopeless romantic in me would love to know when the both of you got together." You said. "I mean, do you remember the exact year and date?"

“How could I forget? Valentine’s day, 2003. I was at this party. Carl was there, and it was like I was seeing him for the first time. You know, suddenly he was cute and smart and funny. It was magic. Carl and I were happy for ten years.” Alice said, recollecting back on the happy life she lead with someone she once before would have never given the time of day. Until that fateful night that changed everything.And ten years, around the same time, the feelings just—vanished.  in the first place“Now he’s dead, and I’m not sad or angry. I’m just...fine.”

After hearing what Alice had to say about this whole ordeal, you wasted no time in tracking down where the boys ended up. You made your way back to the cabin where you had been snooping around shortly to find Dean packing his belongings, getting ready to hit the road after all of this turned out to be a failure. But it wasn’t. You were ready to tell him what you found, but before a single word came out of your mouth, you were bombarded with all sorts of strange questions that weren’t leading to anything good.

“Hey, we have any graveyard dirt?” Dean asked you. You furrowed your brow slightly, nodding your head, guessing you had some left in the trunk somewhere. “Yarrow?”

“Yeah...No. Dean, no.” You warned the man from what you were suddenly catching on to after he was listing off ingredients for a summoning spell to call the attention of a person who kept a hound for a pet. "I know you're itching to get this done, but we are not summoning a crossroads demon."

“That’s right. We’re not. I am. Plan ‘A’ bombed, so welcome to Plan ‘B’—we get some red-eyed bitch in a trap, then Sam and I hold a knife on her until she calls a pooch—special delivery.”

“Brilliant move. You’re forgetting about the part where Crowley finds out we’re dialing up hell.” You said. “He won’t send one hell hound—he’ll send us a hundred. That’s not a plan, Dean—that’s suicide.” “Well, you got a better idea?” Dean asked you.

“Yeah, we stay here. While you were busy playing Farmer Joe all day, I actually got some dirt on these people. I just got done talking to Alice. Carl didn’t sell his soul for oil—he sold it for Alice.” You told him what you found out. Dean seemed rather surprised at what he was hearing. Their relationship wasn’t a made in heaven. “He loved her, she barely noticed him, so he made a deal. And now that time’s up, it’s like she barely even knew the guy.”

“You think our demon signed up more than one schmuck while he was in town?” Dean wondered if that was what you were going with this.

“It wouldn’t be the first time. Now, look, Dean, this family’s rich because someone booked a one way ticket downstairs. And as of tomorrow, they’re all gonna be right here.”

“And you want to help scope ‘em out?” Dean guessed. “How are you gonna do that?”

“Please. Nancy Drew always finds a way to get what she wants. And what I want is to kill a hell hound and not die.” You said. You gave him your honest motivation for why you were here in the first after being told you couldn’t. They should have known you would’ve sunk your claws into this and had no intention of letting go. “How about you?”

Dean fell silent from the question you asked of him that should have been a quick response. You narrowed your eyes slightly on him from the way that he was acting, making you starting to grow concerned for all the wrong reasons.

“Two days—then we do it my way.” He said, giving into your idea. All though from the sound of his voice he wasn't the least bit happy. He started to unwillingly unpack, knowing he was gonna be here longer than he intended. "Now get the hell out of here before I change my mind.”

You scoffed from his sudden shift in attitude about the fact that he couldn't go back to his comfy mattress back home, but you listened to his command, heading back to your hotel room. You knew a way to sneak yourself into the family and their good graces while still rolling with this little lie you had going. All you needed to do was a bit of research and come tomorrow with your charming personality. The rest would work itself out like how you wanted.

+ + +

The next morning you arrived back at the Cassity household dressed in your very best clothes you packed for the hunt to help rub elbows with the rich. You made a pit stop at a local florist shop to pick up something special to show your condolences for the woman and her loss she was taking a little too well. When you finally got to the farm once again in the later afternoon, you were going to make it seem like you were merely here to pay your respects and leave. But you knew there was someone you could trick into letting you stay past your welcome. Alice was the oldest daughter of three girls. You didn't get much of an impression from her. The middle child was Cindy, who had a promising career as a country singer after having a single on the charts a few years ago. From the articles and blogs you read about her, the starlet’s rise to fame took a nosedive when she began to grow a little too comfy with the bottle. You listened to her latest album she released last year for the holidays...inspired by man’s best friend, dogs. It sure made you chuckle. And many others. But it wasn’t enough for people to take her seriously. Then there was the baby of the family, Margot. A woman who hasn’t spoken to her family since she ran off to Paris, the city of lights and love. What could have made her want to her away from her sisters and father so badly? You didn’t know. Probably because she was embarrassed of her family. She carried herself differently from the rest while you watched each of them pile out of their fancy SUV and greeted by Alice. Far as you could tell, they were nothing but a bunch rich brats. And their father wasn’t any better. Noah Cassity was seventy one, worth a cool billion dollars and onto his fifth wife—who was old enough to be his granddaughter. She was twenty and a lingerie model. You felt a little uncomfortable when you thought about it. Men like he made your skin crawl. But he was the only chance you had at getting yourself to stay here. Men like him only looked for two things in women; beauty and charm. While you might not be twenty anymore and working with a changing body, you didn't need to do much to make him invite you to dinner, long enough for you to stick around and play "Who Sold Their Soul." You adjusted yourself and got out of the car, heading up to the window and her family you spent a few hours researching and learning all you could about them. Your presence was welcomed with a few strange reactions. Alice seemed a little baffled as to what you were doing here after you unexpectedly stopped by last night. However she seemed not to be bothered by the sight of your warm smile and a orchid plant resting in your hands. You came here to give your sympathies for the woman in her time of need, at least, that's what she thought.

“Alice, I just wanted to stop by and give you my deepest condolences for what you and your family are going through." You said to the woman. "All though I only knew Carl for a short while, he seemed like a very sweet man. I know it's not, but I felt it was appropriate to thank you for inviting me into your home.”

"And you're saying that by giving her a house plant...how thoughtful." Your attention lingered away from Alice and to her younger sister. You noticed that Cindy liked to dress up who she was, a washed up and drunk wannabe singer with a tragic career that not even Daddy's money could fix. You gave her a smile, pretending to overlook her sarcastic comment and look that you wanted to smack right off her face. She raised her brow slightly, appearing as if she was waiting for something for you to say something. "And you are...?"

“Y/N. I'm sure Alice didn't have time to tell you about the article that I'm working on. It's about the Cassity farm. Sort of a ten year anniversary edition." You admitted to her, your lips stretching into a bashful sort of way. You moved your gaze away from Cindy for a moment, acting even more shy when you pretended to make eye contact with Noah himself. "You could say I was always a bit of a fan."

"A pretty name to match an even prettier face. You said your name was Y/N, right? Noah Cassity. But, of course, I'm sure you already knew that." Their father wasted no effort in shamelessly complimenting you, causing your smile to grow a little wider. His eyes didn’t stay too long on your face before they wandered elsewhere like the dirty old man that he was. Soon enough his gaze fell on the plant you were still holding, wanting to strike up a conversation. “I’ve never had much of a green thumb. What kind of flower is that?”

“It’s an orchid. The florist said it’s suppose to represent love and luxury. I think strength, too. She also mentioned they were known to bring good luck. The kind I went with is cattleya orchid.” You said. “Which represents mature charm."

“I’ve got plenty to go around if you’re looking for some.” Noah attempted to try and keep this little game up with you. While every instinct was wanting you to gag, you played right along from the smile that never left your face. “I can’t help but notice your car—it’s quite impressive from how well taken care of it is. Sure brings me back to the days when I was a kid. And that was a very long time ago.”

“Yeah. She’s my pride and joy. I inherited it from my grandfather. All though she gives me a lot of trouble, she’s worth it.” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “You could say I like older things.”

It didn’t take much of an effort to stroke Noah’s ego before he was inviting you into his home and offering you dinner, striking up a conversation about that article you were supposedly writing about on the family. You followed right behind him into the mansion, getting started on the very long night that was ahead for you and the boys.

[Next Part]

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[aiyh]

AUs are a problem I have

I found all the original posts in this series from my deactivated blog and collected them here.

you work the register at a store I frequent and I get super self-conscious that you’re judging my purchases AU

our kids got paired up to do a school project and I meant to just drop mine off at your house but we ended up talking for three hours AU

battle of the bands AU

made small talk while waiting for different flights and assumed we’d never see each other again AU

our grandparents are in the same nursing home and they hate each other AU

arrested at the same protest AU

classic literature professor vs. modern literature professor AU

I injured myself doing something stupid at a holiday party and you’re the doctor at the emergency clinic AU

volunteered to wait tables at your fancy charity fundraising dinner AU

how do you keep getting my name that wrong on my coffee cup AU

adjacent stands at the farmer’s market AU

risked my job by talking you out of buying a crappy product at the store where I work AU

only two people who bought tickets to see this movie AU

don’t really care if I win that giant stuffed animal but keep playing the carnival game you’re running just to see you AU

our dogs are in love with each other and it’s making things awkward at the dog park AU

who’s this asshole who keeps beating my high score on Pac-Man AU

it’s a total coincidence that I happen to water my plants at the same time you jog past my house AU

our manager is making us push this crappy item that no one needs but you thought my sales pitch was funny so you bought it AU

interviewed you for the newspaper AU

I desperately need you to fix my laptop but please don’t judge me for my browser history AU

chef/ restaurant critic AU

my kid’s hamster died while she was at school and I don’t know how to tell her about death so long story short does your pet store have a hamster that looks just like the one in this photo AU

rival local news stations AU

news anchor/ meteorologist AU

I planned a program at the library where I work and you’re the only person who showed up AU

you are definitely drunk-texting the wrong number but I’m bored so I’m gonna keep this going for a while AU

I hate flying but your snarky announcements are a good distraction and you have a nice voice and I might be calling you Captain Cutie in my head AU

I made a dumb science joke in class and you’re the only one who laughed AU

auditioning for the same part AU

accidentally got drunk at a wine tasting AU

you’re the only other person I’ve ever met who can quote this movie AU

everyone else in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu, and I just heard you coughing pathetically from the next room, wanna share my stash of cough drops and marathon Netflix with me? AU

showed up to a Halloween party in matching costumes AU

will you pretend to be my date to my family’s holiday party so they’ll stop harassing me about being single, there’s food in it for you AU

Christmas lights rivalry AU

I found a bunch of your stuff when I moved into this apartment and I have no idea who you are but I think we might be soulmates AU

I teach in this classroom in the mornings and you teach in the evenings and we communicate entirely through notes left on the board AU

how the hell does your cat keep getting into my house AU

I volunteered for a sex study and you’re the lead researcher and thank god it’s acceptable for me to be turned on in this situation because damn AU

You’re the prosecutor and I’m the defense attorney on the most ridiculous case either of us have ever heard of and I don’t know about you but I’m not sure how much longer I can be serious about this thing AU

Got into an absurdly heated argument in the comments on a mutual friend’s Facebook post AU

Rival street performers AU

You keep bringing your car into my shop with a series of increasingly unlikely problems and my professional opinion is it’d be cheaper for you to just ask me to dinner already AU

Our families are having funeral visitations at the same time and we’re both hanging around outside because we can’t deal AU

I spent a whole subway ride checking you out but didn’t have the nerve to talk to you and thought I’d never see you again but you just showed up on Humans of New York AU

Cheering for opposing teams at a sports bar AU

My kid shoplifted from your store and I marched her back here to apologize to you AU

Why didn’t you tell me this cabin was haunted before I rented it from you AU

Character performers who only see each other at ren faires AU

My band plays at this restaurant every Friday and you always show up and make obscure requests and I know you’re trying to stump me but you’ve severely underestimated how much of a music geek I am AU

I’m the caterer and you’re the florist on a huge expensive wedding and we bond over what an awful person the mother of the bride is AU

We’re chaperoning kids at the same skating rink party and the last couple’s skate was pathetic so what do you say we show these little punks how it’s done AU

We’re both trying to get an apartment in this city at the same time as a million other people and I’m tired of competing for the same ones as you so I think it’s time we joined forces AU

Adjacent shops Christmas decorations war of escalation AU

We work at competing gossip magazines and keep trying to outdo each other’s ridiculous stories AU

Our moms belong to the same garden club and are fiercely competitive about their gardens and keep sending us to pick up supplies for them and would have matching heart attacks if they found out we’re hooking up every trip AU

My kid is in your class and you called me in for a parent-teacher conference and I don’t know what she did but she didn’t learn it from me and wait what do you mean you think she should skip a grade AU

We’re neighbors and I’m telling you this as a friend but if you give out pencils for Halloween again this year I’m going to look the other way when the kids roll your yard AU

I accidentally caught the neighbors’ yard(s) on fire while burning leaves and I didn’t think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and clearly thinks I’m an idiot AU

I bought this talisman from your occult shop and I know you warned me but I didn’t think this stuff was real but it IS and now I need you to make it go away AU

You just sold a bunch of old books to my secondhand store for cheap and one of them’s worth a fortune and my partner will kill me if he finds out but I think you should have the money AU

I didn’t mean to get you arrested, I thought I was helping AU

I’m planning a heist and I need your very specific skillset to pull it off but when I tracked you down you’d become an alcoholic and spend your days cheating at video poker AU

Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house by mistake and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings AU

Prison chaplain/ wrongfully convicted death row inmate AU

You bring my grandmother a basket of homemade candy every Christmas and she keeps dropping hints about how great you are so we should probably go out at least once—you know, just to make grandma happy AU

I was down on my luck and had lost the will to live when I heard you playing the fiddle and long story short I think you saved my life AU

The PTA bake sale is coming up and you’ve outsold me two years in a row so I’m pulling out all the stops AU

I just quit my job and put all my belongings in a U-Haul and started driving, you’re the hitchhiker I picked up on a whim who I’m starting to think is a dangerous fugitive AU

Graffiti artist/ mural painter AU

You’re the only major film critic who hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree with you AU

#AUs are a problem I have #this was one of my best works tbh #writing prompts #AUs #imagine your otp

[cosmicmoved]

HELLO AND WELCOME TO A LIST OF FACTS ABOUT TOMO, some useless and some not so useless!! It’s a toss-up, really. Apologies in advance for the length but I didn’t feel like smacking this one under a Read More ): Some of these are from the intro post I wrote for him when I made him for a closed rpg and some of these are newer things I forgot to write down beforehand. Some of this is also referenced in his bio page. I’m not really going to double-check if I’ve repeated myself anywhere so, if I have, sorry about that! But, hopefully, you can learn a little more about Tomo from this! I’m just dumping these all together like this as they’re mostly quick pieces of trivia and posting them all as individual headcanon posts would be a pretty clunky task? If you wanna know anything else about him, always feel free to ask!

Tomo does not take especially well to nicknames unless they’ve been approved by Tomo himself. If you give him a nickname out of the blue, he’ll probably address it directly and tell you he doesn’t like it. So far, approved nicknames are Tomo (of course) and KatsuTomo --- that one’s more of fan-title-nickname rather than one he actually uses but he came up with it himself, tweeting it out like ‘you guys can call me katsutomo from now on if you like ^^’ before changing all his handles to that exact name. Nice.

On the other hand, he does NOT like being called Tomohiko. The only people who call him that are his mum and grandparents. It’s not that he dislikes the name itself but he doesn’t believe it suits him and is much more comfortable with Tomo.

Tomo doesn’t really have any delusions of grandeur in regards to being famous or anything like that. He prefers to detach himself from the concept of fame, even though he can’t really do that and it’s not how it works, and that can cause problems in the long run but it mostly means he’s usually fairly down to Earth. He probably has more famous friends than otherwise but that’s just because they’re in closer proximity. Because Tomo’s a friendly person, he’d probably be willing to befriend most people so long as they’re not shitty-fuck-awful.

He’s not very good at watching himself in films. It depends on the film and he can do it. He will do it. It’s just a bit of a weird experience? But, uhhhh, let’s just say he once watched the one horror film he was in at the cinema (and didn’t like most of it bc he hates horror films) but he laughed during his own death scene. There were tears in his eyes. Real tears.

He’s scared of bugs and ghosts. (for reference, i have had him join a conversation (in an ic groupchat) by making jokes about the place everyone was staying was haunted btu it turned back on him when it became clear he actually thought ghosts were scary and then he refused to go to sleep bc he’d convinced himself he was gonna get haunted.....) For the record, he doesn’t dislike ghosts or think they’re bad/evil. He’s just easily spooked!! You could probably tell him his awful long furby was demon and, despite him realistically drawing the line at demons & absolutely telling you you’re an idiot, he’d still get a little upset if you repeated it enough times. Whereas bugs? Definitely evil.

He doesn’t like dating because…well, he likes the IDEA of it but he’s the type to really fall for someone and BASICALLY? He’s scared of being dumped! He’s a bright & appealing personality with just enough edge to balance it out but he’s a bit of an emotional screwball and he feels like getting people interested is easier than keeping them interested, leading to mixed experiences with dating so he’s...kinda...settled for sleeping around a little instead. Oh well, whatever works! (does it actually work? shhhh it’s a secret…)

Like...he’s kind of an emotional wreck. He does his best not to show it on the surface and the whole...being a good actor thing probably helps with that but, beneath the top layers of Sparkly Glam Tomo, shit’s all scrambled up. He doesn’t really know what to make of himself. Acting and having friends present are the only things, he believes, keeping him grounded and together.

I’ve basically said this before but he really likes cute shit. This isn’t really reflected in how he dresses or acts or anything like that; it’s not part of the aesthetic. He just owns a lot of expensive Hello Kitty-branded shit because...it makes him happy?

He owns a kaninchen/rabbit (smaller than miniature) dachshund called Chicken (she looks roughly like this image i snagged off of google). Chicken Katsumura. It’s a terrible pun. He’s not sorry.

His hair is currently bright red. It’s a recent change (so it’s not something he’s known for) but he wanted to make a visual statement and that was that. He likes to go for more interesting colours when he’s not filming anything because it’s the only time he really gets to. I mean, he still has dyed hair in a lot of his films but it’ll usually be brown or blonde or something else more ‘realistic’.

Tomo cares a LOT about the way he dresses and styles himself. He’ll probably complain if he has to do a promo/magazine shoot and he doesn’t like the outfit he’s been given. It doesn’t actually help him half the time and he just gets told to shut up but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it !!!!!!!! 

Tomo is a competent singer. This is because, growing up, his mother made him take singing lessons in the hopes that he might follow in her idol footsteps. He was not in the least bit interested but it was fun enough for him not to complain about it (not that it would’ve helped) and, if nothing else, it helped him get the lead role in school plays. His mum is secretly happy he’s best friends with a popstar because, hey, close enough.

He’s watched his dad’s films. He doesn’t think he was a very good director, he was better at acting, and is kind of mad that he was ignored as a kid in favour of that shite. I can’t say he was a big fan of his dad in general but he can’t really say anything about it since he’s...dead. I’ve said before that he’s always at odds with his mum but he actually does care about her. He can’t stay in a room with her for too long if she starts lecturing him and has hung up on her mid-call many times but he DOES love her a lot. As guilty as he feels about it, he’s not sure he can say the same about his dad.

He hates being asked about his dad in interviews --- he’d rather not be asked about his parents too much in general but going to Japan and being asked about his mother instead was weirdly refreshing for him. He’d rather talk about his mum’s short string of innocent pop hits than a bunch of films he actively dislikes.

When it comes to food, he doesn’t have especially refined tastes. His favourite food is tuna-mayo onigiri from 7-Eleven. Maybe this why he doesn’t judge Minwoo for his pretends-to-be-a-vegetarian-so-ppl-won’t-complain-abt-his-fussy-eating scam.

#« 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 (ᴛᴏᴍᴏ) » / 「 headcanon. 」 #i've definitely forgotten important things but i can't be arsed checkiiiiiiiing #so i'll just....deal with that later? #i can always write up a part two to this tbh #i've definitely got more to say abt tomo??? bc i've been working on developing him more than a month now #maybe like a month and a half???