#(not that I'm experienced with those)

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it's incredibly important to remind folks on testosterone or folks who want to reverse patterned baldness about their options, but man, does it sometimes suck wondering how much of our insecurities about our hair stem from backwards beliefs that to strive towards beauty is not only preferable but "makes you good."

As someone with a rather masculinized body pre-medical transition, patterned baldness has always seemed neutral. Hair is incredibly important (hell, much of my own energy is spent on my hair because I like it), but the pressure to have hair, to have hair the "right way" is something that I absolutely loathe.

I'm not here to judge people who don't want patterned hair loss or baldness, I'm here to say that those traits will never make you lesser. Not only is it neutral, but it is also just as worthy and beautiful.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #this especially goes for folks who may be transfem or trans women experiencing patterned hair loss/baldness #i love you and think you are gorgeous<3 #i mentioned trans folks going on t because that's a lot of my own experience #i already had a somewhat masc hairline before t and now it's just settling in... #...i found that i'm fortunate in that way for having an already masculine body and i think that's why my changes are more... #...like unpacking your house rather than moving to a new home if that makes sense #but i find that the beauty culture around hair adds even more unnecessary stress for those who want or value their hair #i am beauty culture's number one hater

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right #what should i have done better #i did it ALL the right way #(not that there is a right way) #it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money #whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!! #and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences! #and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere #i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker. #i have always excelled at work and i work hard #i have been working since i was 13 #WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!! #ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical. #i am neither of these things. #it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much #but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are'' #.... don't i? #do i need to be luckier than someone else #or is it possible we are BOTH victims? #and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it #not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better

[sandflakedraws]

How about Floyd, who came back as promised, hugging little Branch who just saw Grandma Rosiepuff get taken/eaten by the Bergen Chef?

Or how about Floyd, who came back as promised only to find the Troll Tree devoid of life and Rosiepuff's pod empty, going grey as he mourns baby Branch whom he thinks got eaten?

Hey so! Totally fun (and not hurtful at all) fact-!

For Trolls Band Together, the story the writers wanted to go with (according to the Artbook and novelization), implies that Brozone's disbandment happens before Bergen Town is even a thing, which has such severe implications to me.

so.

tfw you return to your home to find that

actually, the forest that sheltered you is eradicated, replaced with a giant town whose occupants' sole form of joy consists of devouring you.

the tree that served as your home is the only thing left of that forest, and it is decayed, withered, and desiccated... displayed in the middle of the town in a cage.

your pod, your home, is empty. every home around it is empty too. there are no trolls in sight.

as far as you know, everyone that used to be here is gone. or dead. most likely dead.

you will never see them ever again.

you were just a teenager.

#trolls #floyd #meadow-hearthfire #sandflakedrew #asks #u can pry this from my cold dead fingers #this is canon .. to Me specifically #because i'm a sucker for something that makes a thing Both Better And Also Sadder #in addition #the way i've been reconciling the general timeline is like so: #1. There was the Inciting Bergen-Ate-A-Troll Incident however many years ago - which fractured the pop trolls into smaller communities #2. The Bergens had indeed been eating pop trolls for generations complete with Trollstice #HOWEVER. #That had been amongst a moving Bergen settlement and those various pop troll populations #(<those groups have been eaten to extinction) #3. Therefore - Bergens were things our specific group of trolls were aware of at large - but one they had not yet experienced #4. It culminates with Bergen Town being the recent Settlement and the luck of Peppy's group running out.

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[salt-baby]

caught my younger sibling walking around with numb hands for weeks like that was normal so PSA theres some weak evidence that the following are common in POTS:

B12 Deficiency

- characterized by numb (pins and needles) hands and feet, which is persistent for days no matter what position your limbs are in

- take dissolvable B12 tablets once daily by holding them under the tongue for a couple minutes

- ideally those should be the like 2000000% DV ones, since B12 is water-soluble and near impossible to take too much of

- B12 shots can be prescribed for very severe deficiencies

- if this doesn't go away in like a week, See Your Doctor! these are peripheral neuropathy symptoms and that's something 1000% worth checking out ASAP

Magnesium Deficiency

- characterized by a tight kind of muscle soreness (for some reason always in my calves) that doesn't go away with rest

- others report tremors or being unable to keep the legs still

- either take a supplement daily or epsom salt baths

- be warned that oral magnesium works as a laxative, so start low and work your way up

Vitamin D Deficiency

- can cause fatigue and the "seasonal depression" kind of mood

- this is just really common in the general population, not just in people with POTS

- oral supplementation works fine, most daily vitamins have it

- in more severe cases your doctor can prescribe higher dose supplements

Also if you keep getting these symptoms all the time or it doesn't go away within a couple days of supplements, you probably need to see a doctor

#by weak evidence i mean theres like one doctor who observed this trend and it only kinda exists in research publications #but my personal experience is that i get these deficiencies recurrently #this is one of those things id classify as “not harmful if I'm wrong” #which is my litmus test for medical management without a doctor #all of these can cause fatigue and for anyone experiencing that its not a bad idea to try these #disability #ehlers danlos syndrome #chronic illness #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #salt baby talks #hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome #heds #oh yeah that dr is dr. alan pocinki in a talk for the edSoc on fatigue in eds

[1pcii]

my fave alabasta shipping dynamics is pre-established zolu playing matchmaker (how successful they are? eehhhh) for pining namivivi

#this is 100% a flip on that one fanfic script of 'pre-established background lesbian pairing playing matchmaker to the main #'disaster gays' mlm pairing'. that so commonly clogs up the wlw pairings ship tags (<- has experienced the horrors of homestuck ao3) #but also I do think it fits the respective ship dynamics better because zolu is SUCH a comfortable QPR/bfs pairing while namivivi are a #dramatic. angst filled star crossed lovers/'in love and war'. bittersweet pairing #also the potential zoro and nami dynamic aaaa #I love those two so much. he would be SOO annoying about her predicament and she would rack up his dept SOOO much XP #psii.txt #text #god I wish I could write fanfic sometimes #not that I'm expecting anyone to. but if you want 👁️👁️. if you WANT 👀 #this is open for anyone to pick up and do what you wish just PLEASEEEE tag me. please 🙏 #namivivi #zolu #<- also in character for me to crosstag the side pairing to clog up the tag btw. its for the bit ok m sorry XP

[kinnbig]

Tong and his bodyguards 💪🥺

#target audience of this part of the video: me specifically #i love them your honour! those are all my favourite guys 🥺 #also not sorry for keeping the honorifics in the subtitles. tong nong-ing his friends is actually something that can be so personal..... #girl help i'm experiencing parasocial relationships with the kinnporsche cast #kinnporsche #kinnporsche cast #tong thanayut #be on cloud #wandayxtong #kp cast #darcey.gif #darcey.txt #kpcast.gif

[yasmeensh]

Angsty Neanderthal teenager and his blind little sister. I gave them names but I'm too timid to share yet lol. I'm developing their story arc far more than the main character's 😳 they took over my mind ever since I thought of them existing.

#personal project #paleolithic #neanderthal #so uhm I HAVE AN ENDING THOUGHT OUT #at last #I have the story beats planned out #I have some key scenes #but still needs to be filled out waaaayyyy more #I think what will make up the core of the story experience are the little things. the character interactions #misadventures #etc #I day dream about these things but haven't written them out or placed them anywhere in the story #it's those things that will reinforce the theme softly. in little tiny bites #so that when a character does something related to the theme it doesn't come out of nowhere #the character has been exposed to it and experienced it time and time again #until they get the aha moment and apply what they've learnt during a critical moment #(I'm talking about Tam here. but it also applies to neanderteen's arc) #there will be a slow timeskip btw #the characters gradually grow up in the story #I had a moment. wanted to see my baby characters all grown up ;-; #and in ACTION

[buckttommy]

Having been around the block in various fandoms over the last ten years, one thing I can say with unequivocal certainty is that things always start to go bad when shippers go from being just shippers to being shippers that stan one half of the ship or the other. I don't know what it is about it, but the finer the pieces you break a fandom into, the more the rot sinks in.

#One of those groups of shippers always believes that they/their favorite character is in some way persecuted. Usually by the TPTB (whoever #they are) or by fandom at large. This belief subsequently leads to these shippers “closing down ranks” and becoming more... exclusive... so #they can feed the echo chamber whilst furthering the belief in each other that they are persecuted and they are the only ones who #“understand” what they're experiencing. It's sinister as hell when you lay it out and this isn't me reading from any book or anything this #is just literally how it goes based on my years of watching this happen in countless fandoms. Anyways. I'm falling asleep #but y'all be careful who you spend time with and who you listen to and throw your weight behind #that's all I'm saying

[gideonisms]

Hardest things to accept in my late 20s have been that A) one day per week in which I putter around my apartment rearranging very inconsequential items IS necessary for my emotional stability B) if I don't eat I'll look haggard. what do you know that has physical effects C) if I don't ever buy new clothes I start to look out of place and unkempt in the clothing I own because 10 years is a long time

#and D) just because someone is easy to be around does NOT mean i actually like them. those are TWO different emotions #god. having a day #all my clothing is wrong my appearance is wrong idk why it just is. i don't THINK it's a gender thing because now i'm like #i need long hair and clothing that fits Immediately. looking at photos where i'm feminine feels wrong looking at photos where i'm masculine #also wrong. what was that haircut etc etc #i wanted to go out and accomplish all my errands but the thought of driving or experiencing sounds and sights made me nauseous #alas #podcasts and cleaning it is

[graysongraysoff]

i am begging people to be less weird about whether or not i'm online/how quickly i'm replying to messages

i like want to make new friends online but this is just the reddest possible flag to me

#like there's the universal 'oh i sent a risky message so the longer it goes without a response the more stressed i get' #and 'oh i sent a message to a group chat that was moving at a pretty fast pace and now no one is responding' #like both of those are pretty valid reasons to be anxious about someone's reply speed #and even then i usually don't actually say anything to the parties concerned when i'm experiencing these things lol #but if you're a brand new internet friend and you keep making comments on my 'online' status on discord #and getting antsy if i'm showing as online but not responding right away #literally back off lol

[seventhdoctor]

Graduation photos, episodes 161 and 167

#yugioh series #yugioh gx #pics #screencaps #judai yuki #part 6 of reposting things that never made it to tags because tumblr #161-167 might just be my favorite stretch of episodes in the entire series #now that i'm experiencing gx properly subbed and with more life experience than i had in 2008 #my rediscovery of gx happened during one of the worst periods of my life #and seeing judai start to heal over those seven episodes meant something to me #hell it means something to me now #a reminder that things can get better #it's probably projecting but his pose in 167 says to me that he isn't totally okay yet #but he's still willing to come out and participate #where he had to be dragged out before #he's not all the way there yet but someday he might be #and in the meantime he's got it in him to wink and throw a thumbs up for the album #take a moment to engage with his friend behind the camera #instead of pulling away #as someone dealing with The Brainworms that can be a big difference #and i'm actively trying to get back to that stage #whoops tag essay

[yardsards]

living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more

#eliot posts #i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry #just experiencing some Ideations #but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry #ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt'' #suicide mention #suicide tw #tw suicide #american healthcare my beloathed #dogshit private insurance my beloathed #also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday #it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level #my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them) #and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it #with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually'' #and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program #(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent) #so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down #it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday #and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''

[dolokhoded]

judas is the most obvious queer allegory in the entirety of human history it genuinely shocks me sometimes how transparent the whole BETRAYING A SON OF MAN WITH A KISS thing is when you think about it for over like 0.03 seconds.

#judas iscariot #like. how did it take religious trauma and experiencing homophobia and distancing myself from the church and being very online in my teens #to realize that this man was gay like john may as well have fucking written ''judas kissed men'' #i'm genuinely surprised shitty conservative christians aren't using his case to preach homophobia. im glad of course. but i dont know how #they let that one pass #like i get the whole oh he bettayed jesus that was it surface thing but you don't even have to go below surface to realize something gayer #is going on there like why are y'all KISSING #did none of those old men reading luke before all those jesus paintings that portray it as a kiss on the cheek get made and popularized tha #image ever go ''y'all hold on why is this disciple kissing men'' #im not religious just insane.jpg

[thesmokinpossum]

Sonny and Tom, from beginning to end

#what if i went insane? what if i fuckin died? what then eh??? #not even gonna lie a solid 70% of the godfather brainrot i'm currently experiencing is directly related to those two relationship #tom hagen #sonny corleone #btw if you wonder if i consider ed falco's published fanfiction to be canon.. #well all the parts i like are canon and all the parts i don't like are not #hope this clarifies things

[dailyfatefigures]

Ashiya Douman - Memo Stand by Tentoumushi

#they're going to be available on booth on the 24th! that's 3 days after my birthday lol #i'd advise either setting up the add to buyee extension on firefox or setting up a tenso #account if you want to pick them up! (depending on the purchasing limit restrictions you might want to go for tenso though) #there are other proxies you can use but i'm only experienced w those two and don't want to recommend any i wouldn't use #anime figure #figure collecting #fate #ashiya douman #memo stand #tentoumushi #fate series #fate grand order #fgo #fate go #garage kit