#(yaz and nadia) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere · 2 years

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Representation matters!-in TV/MOVIES.

i am, obviously, not able to type ALL here, but the ones i know and love dearly+the ones I think are most important for the viewers♥- I WILL KEEP UPDATING THIS WHEN NEEDED♥) +obvi not in any important-order!!

1. BISEXUAL-BI-REPRESENTATION (as a bi person myself I still think this should be represented more in media everywhere(when it’s done right!))

-bi boys: Jesper Fahey (Shadow And Bone), Nick Nelson (Heartstopper), Alex Claremont-Diaz (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue), Timmy Andrews (The Craft: Legacy), Malakai Mitchell (Heartbreak High), Magnus Bane (Shadowhunters), Gar Logan-BeastBoy(DCTitans), Aki Menzies (GossipGirlHBOMax),, Salem Saberhagen (SabrinaTheTeenageWitch-90s), Li Shang (Mulan1998), Lucifer (Lucifer), Jeremiah Fisher (The Summer I Turned Pretty), Gael Martinez (Good Trouble), Michael Guerin (Roswell, New Mexico), Evan "Buck" Buckley (9-1-1), Dustin ‘Dusty’ Reid (Heartbreak High),

- bi girls: Anna Taggaro (OTH-One Tree Hill), (and to me Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis(the actress said it so it’s canon!), Rachel Gatina (OTH-One Tree Hill), Nina Zenik (Shadow And Bone), AJ Campos (Crush2022), Hope Mikaelson (TO-Legacies), Ava Silva (Warrior Nun), Katherine "Kitty" Song-Covey (XO Kitty), Missy Beckett (Heartbreak High), Yasmina-Yaz Fadoula (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous), Casey Gardner (Atypical), Abby(Atypical), Beatrix "Bird" Castro (Finding Carter), Marissa Cooper (The O.C), Alex Kelly (The O.C), Aneesa Qureshi (Never Have I Ever), Lake Meriwether (Love, Victor), Vada Cavell (TheFallout-2021), Eve (Lucifer), Stella Yamada (Lemonade Mouth 2011), Sahar Zahid (Heartstopper (sinceS2) ), Nora Holleran (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue), Haley Dunphy (Modern Family), Eleanor Henstridge (The Royals), Maureen Johnson (Rent the musical), Anthea (Shazam! Fury of the Gods), Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo), Sue Gilbert (Dickinson), Toni Topaz (Riverdale), Marie Moreau (Gen V), Jordan Li (Gen V),

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

1b. PANSEXUAL-PAN-REPRESENTATION

Max Wolfe (GossipGirlHBOMax), Mazikeen (Lucifer), Mal (Descendants Movies), Josie Saltzman (Legacies,TO,TVD), Penelope Park (Legacies), Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy), Isabel (Bottoms 2023), Karen Shetty (Mean Girls 2024),

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

1c. ASEXUAL/ ACE REPRESENTATION

Raphael Santiago (Shadowhunters), Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Tolya Yul-Bataar (ShadowAndBone-Grishaverse), Tori Spring (Heartstopper), Douglas ‘Cash’ Piggott (Heartbreak High),

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

2. GAY/ LESBIAN REPRESENTATION

-gay: Wylan Hendriks/Wylan Van Eck (Shadow And Bone), Prince Henry Fox (RWRB-Red White & Royal Blue), Jack McPhee (Dawson’s Creek), Alec Lightwood (Shadowhunters), Simon Spier (Love,Simon2018), Victor Salazar (Love,Victor), Benji Campbell (Love,Victor), Rahim (Love,Victor), Charlie Spring (Heartstopper), Brimsley and Reynolds (OueenCharlotte-BridgertonSpinoff), Eric Van Der Woodsen (Gossip Girl), Quincy “Q” Shabazian (XOKitty), Damian Hubbard (Mean Girls 2024), Nick Feinstein (The Fallout 2021),

-lesbian: Beatrice (Warrior Nun), Diana Berrigan(White Collar), Fabiola Torres (Never Have I Ever), Ellie Chu (The Half Of It), Emily Fields (Pretty Little Liars), Maxine Baker (Ginny & Georgia), Izzie Taylor (Atypical), Calliope "Cal" Burns (First Kill), Juliette Fairmont (First Kill), Tara Jones (Heartstopper), Darcy Olsson (Heartstopper), Mia Karp (Vampire Academy), Meredith Beckham (Vampire Academy), Tamar Kir-Bataar (Shadow And Bone), Nadia Zhabin (Shadow And Bone), Simone Jackson (DaisyJonesAndTheSix), Yuri Han (XO Kitty), PJ and Josie (Bottoms 2023), Hazel Callahan (Bottoms 2023), Madison (Finding Carter), Kit Tanthalos (Willow), Jade (Willow), Sabina Wilson (Charlie’s Angels 2019), Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo), Winnie Black (Miller’s Girl), Janis ‘Imi’ike (Mean Girls 2024), Emily Dickinson (Dickinson), Sasha So (Heartbreak High),

(for an epic and very queer historical-fiction tv show watch MARY & GEORGE !!)

3. TRANSGENDER PEOPLE REPRESENTATION

-Elle Argent (Heartstopper), Anybodys (West Side Story 2021), Luna La (GossipGirlHBOMax), Chanel (Warrior Nun), Naomi (Heartstopper), Felix (Heartstopper), Amy (RWRB-Red, White & Royal Blue), Ash Romero (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin),

4. Non-Binary/Genderqueer/ (they/them) Representation

-Darren Rivers (Heartbreak High), Addison (Never Have I Ever), Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy), Jordan Li (Gen V), (we seriously lack the representation in popular and mostly-watched shows and movies for teenagers and young adults here tho),

5. ASTHMA REPRESENTATION

-I don’t see this represented enough in TV or Movies for Young Adults, nor Kids.

5b. DISABLED CHARACTERS REPRESENTATION:

Kaz Brekker & Jesper Fahey & Wylan Van Eck, Genya Safin(Shadow And Bone) , Rebecca Hall-Yoshida (Never Have I Ever) +MORE BELOW(and above in this entire post♥):

6. EPILEPSY REPRESENTATION

Nathan Walter (My Life with The Walter Boys),

6b. DIABETES REPRESENTATION

Cassie Salazar (Purple Hearts), Abby Brown (OTH-One Tree Hill), (still not enough tho, if it’s done, it is so often shown WRONG..)

7. ADHD REPRESENTATION

Jesper Fahey (Shadow And Bone), Percy Jackson + other Demigods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), Alex Claremont Diaz (RWRB-Red, White & Royal Blue), Anne Shirley (Anne Of Green Gables 80s movies), Neal Caffrey(White Collar), Stiles (Teen Wolf), Jesus (The Fosters), Sara Eriksson (Young Royals),

7b. AUTISM REPRESENTATION

Sam Gardner (Atypical), James McEwan (Heartstopper), Wylan Hendriks/Van Eck (Shadow And Bone), Amanda (Change Of Habit 1969), Oskar Schell (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close), Sara Eriksson (Young Royals), Quinni Gallagher-Jones (Heartbreak High),

8. DYSLEXIA/ DYSGRAPHIA REPRESENTATION

Wylan Hendriks/ Wylan Van Eck (Shadow and Bone), Percy Jackson (movies + tv show as well), Donna Martin (Beverly Hills 90210), CeCe Jones (Shake It Up), Evan Chapin (Atypical),

9. LATINX LEAD REPRESENTATION

Ava Silva (Warrior Nun) , Lissa Dragomir (Vampire Academy), Wednesday Addams (WednesdayNetflix), Santana Lopez (Glee), Ella Lopez (Lucifer), Pilar Salazar (Love, Victor), Maria (West Side Story2021), Cassie Salazar (Purple Hearts 2022), Alex Claremont-Diaz (RWRB-Red, White & Royal Blue), Jackie Howard (My Life with The Walter Boys), Noa Olivar (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin),

10. BLACK PEOPLE AS THE LEAD REPRESENTATION

Ariel (TheLittleMermaid2023), Raven Baxter (That's So Raven), Cyborg (Teen Titans), Antwon Skills Taylor (OTH-One Tree Hill), Darius Bowman (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous), Calliope Burns (First Kill), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy), Starr Carter (The Hate U Give 2018), Mary (Warrior Nun), Simone Jackson (DaisyJonesAndTheSix), Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), Faran Bryant (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Tabitha 'Tabby' Haworthe (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Darren Rivers /they/them/ (Heartbreak High),

10b. INDIGENOUS PEOPLE REPRESENTATION

Malakai Mitchell (Heartbreak High), Missy Beckett (Heartbreak High), Reservation Dogs, Rez Ball (Netflix, out soon), Mohawk Girls,

11. ASIAN LEAD REPRESENTATION

Alina Starkov (Shadow And Bone), Mal Oretsev (Shadow and Bone), Tamar Kir-Bataar (Shadow And Bone), Tolya Yul-Bataar (Shadow And Bone), Lara Jean (To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before), Ellie Chu (The Half Of It 2020), Tao Xu (Heartstopper), Kitty Song-Covey (XO Kitty), Isabel (Bottoms 2023), Minnie 'Mouse' Honrada (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Ash Romero (Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin), Sasha So (Heartbreak High), Jordan Li (Gen V),

(+desi women) Kate Sharma (Bridgerton), Devi Vishwakumar (Never Have I Ever), Inej Ghafa (Shadow And Bone), Zoya Nazyalensky (Shadow And Bone), Mohini "Mo" Banjaree (Lemonade Mouth 2011), Princess Jasmine (Aladdin 2019), Emma Morley (OneDayNetflix), Amerie Wadia (Heartbreak High),

12. THE MAIN CHARACTER WEARING GLASSES REPRESENTATION

Elle Argent (Heartstopper), Ellie Chu (The Half Of It), Emma Morley (OneDayNetflix), Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo), Harry Potter

13. MUSLIM REPRESENTATION

Rahim (Love, Victor), Aneesa Qureshi (Never Have I Ever),

14. NARCISSISTIC/ABUSIVE PARENT REPRESENTATION

Nathan Scott + Lucas Scott (OTH-One Tree Hill), Wylan Hendriks/ Wylan Van Eck (Shadow And Bone), Pacey Witter (Dawson’s Creek), Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl), Kenji Kon (JWCC- Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous), Michael Guerin (Roswell90s/RoswellOG), Blair Waldorf (GossipGirl), Daisy Jones (DaisyJonesAndTheSix), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy) +Disney’s Tangled

15. VEGAN REPRESENTATION

Gar Logan/Beast Boy (DCTitans), (..like seriously we NEED more representation here..)

16. JEWISH PEOPLE REPRESENTATION

Seth Cohen (The O.C), David Gordon (Gordo) (Lizzie McGuire), Ben Gross (Never Have I Ever), Cyrus Rose (Gossip Girl), Max Wolfe (GossipGirlHBOMax), Danielle (Shiva Baby)

17. LOSS/ GRIEF REPRESENTATION

OTH-One Tree Hill/ Roswell90s/RoswellOG / ShadowAndBone / Never Have I Ever/ OneDay(Movie+TV show) / Vampire Academy/ The Vampire Diaries + Legacies/ My Life with The Walter Boys/ Wild Cards / Young Royals/ Dickinson/ Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin/

18. WRITERS/AUTHORS REPRESENTATION

Anne Shirley (Anne Of Green Gables 80s movies), Lucas Scott (OTH-One Tree Hill), Wednesday Addams (WednesdayNetflix), Emma Morley (OneDayNetflix), Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl), Joey Potter (Dawson’s Creek), Ezra Fitz (Pretty Little Liars), Cairo Sweet (Miller’s Girl), Emily Dickinson (Dickinson),

19. FRIENDSHIP/ FOUND-FAMILY REPRESENTATION

OTH-One Tree Hill + Roswell90s/RoswellOG + Shadow And Bone + JWCC-Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous + Heartstopper + Love, Victor + Teen Titans (OG) + Scooby Doo + DaisyJonesAndTheSix + Lemonade Mouth 2011 + Bottoms 2023 + Willow(2022-2023) + My Life with The Walter Boys + Charlie’s Angels 2019 + Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Pretty Little Liars:Original Sin, Heartbreak High,

20. FOSTER KIDS/ KIDS WITHOUT A PARENT FIGURE/OR STRUGGLING TO FIND ONE/ ORPHANS/ ADOPTED/

Landon Kirby (TO-Legacies), Anya/Anastasia(1997), Michael Guerin(RoswellOG/Roswell90s), Carter Stevens/Carter Wilson (Finding Carter), Anne Shirley(AnneOfGreenGables 80s movies), Callie Jacob(The Fosters), Sam Walker (OTH-One Tree Hill), Peyton Sawyer(OTH-One Tree Hill), Christian Ozera(Vampire Academy),Lissa Dragomir(Vampire Academy), Hope Mikaelson(TO-Legacies),Gar Logan(DCTitans),Nick(No Good Nick),

21. JAPANESE REPRESENTATION

Kenji Kon (JWCC-Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous), Gar Logan (DCTitans), Paxton Hall-Yoshida (Never Have I Ever), Jo (Running for Grace2018), Hiro + Tadashi Hamada (Bix Hero6), Stella Yamada (Lemonade Mouth 2011),

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moth-and-raven · 3 years

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

They left his new turban behind. It’s just coiled there on the dusty stone floor, spattered with blood darker than the red fabric. I pick it up in a trance, rubbing the soft cloth between my fingers. Someone must’ve torn it off of him as they paraded his body out of the Market.

This can’t be happening.

But it is.

I try hard to tamp down my panic, turning away from the entrance and pushing back through the slowly-dispersing crowd. All around me, people mutter their theories and suspicions. It doesn’t help as much as I hoped it would to hear their anger on Julian’s behalf; no one stopped the guards, they just watched, and let them take him.

Thank god Skylar is so tall. I see him through a gap in the milling bodies. Just the sight of someone who might be able to help brings a lump to my throat. I fight it back for the moment, but I know I’ll lose out soon.

“Skylar,” I gasp, half-choked from my quick pace and the threat of tears.

“Reyja?” He reaches out to steady me, concern already etched across his kind face.

“They— they t-took him—”

I have to hold it together. I have to. I have to help him. I have to get my Julian back. It can’t end like this. It can’t —

Skylar pulls me into a strong embrace and I break, sobbing against his chest. I don’t have time to be crying like a child, but it won’t stop. His soft stomach is too welcoming, his arms around my back too gentle. He lets me weep there in the middle of the Red Market, shielding me from curious onlookers until I can breathe again.

“I’m so sorry,” I mumble when my voice returns, thick with tears still unshed. We just met and I’ve already stained his shirt.

“He means a lot to you.”

“He means everything to me.”

“Hm.” He nods. “Well, let me tell you, Ilya’s gotten out of worse scrapes than this.”

“But if they took him to the palace…”

“I’m sure they did.”

My heart drops. He wasn’t supposed to agree with me.

“But he’s even gotten out of there before,” Skylar continues. “With help.”

With help… “We need to— I need to find him.”

“Let’s go, then.”

I shake my head, already awash in the guilt that always comes after letting someone see me at my worst. “You don’t have to come with me. I’m sorry, I just panicked and came right back to you, when you were—”

“He’s my friend, too.”

Julian has so many people looking out for him. I don’t think he knows what an effect he has. He’s not alone. We’re not alone.

I’m not alone.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Skylar says with a smile. He nods towards the exit. "Lead the way."

I wipe my eyes almost furtively on Julian’s turban, then drape it over my shoulders like a scarf. I'll get the damn thing back to him if it's the last thing I ever do. The thought almost makes me laugh: he can't even tell what color it is, and wore it for less than an hour. And it didn't work in the end, since it was meant to disguise him. But it's still his. I bought it for him.

We're out of the Market and halfway to the palace before I realize I don't really know where I'm going. I've never been to the dungeons, if that's where they took him, and my erstwhile guide— Oh no.

Skylar notices my hesitation and stops beside me. "What’s up?"

"Portia, Julian’s sister. I need to tell her."

"Little Pasha?"

"You know her too?"

"Only from Ilya’s stories. Although…"

"What?"

Skylar cocks his head, staring at something I can't see. "She's got the Devorak nose and hair?"

"Yes?"

He smiles to himself. I've just opened my mouth to ask why when my name, in Portia's strident voice, cuts across the rosy Heart District street.

“At least someone’s safe,” she says angrily, twisting her hair around one hand as she approaches. She’s crying, but I don’t think she even notices. “I knew this would happen, I just knew it! I never should’ve agreed to—”

Apparently protectiveness runs in the family too. “It isn’t your fault—” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“I fucking know that! I know that, but… but what if…”

“Did you see him? Is he…?” I can’t bring myself to ask if the blow he took was worse than I thought.

Her lower lip trembles. “I don’t know,” she admits softly. “They were heading towards the dungeons, I think. A bunch of them. I saw Vulgora, and Valdemar.”

I swallow hard. Valdemar. Whatever Julian had been about to say before the guards sprang their trap had to do with them.

“I left Balam behind to watch while I came looking for you,” Portia continues, stifling her tears with an enormous breath. “But she can’t… I don’t want her to do something stupid before we get back.”

“We were on our way,” I tell her, gesturing at Skylar.

“You found him, then?”

Skylar himself laughs. “I’d like the full story at some point, how Ilya got here and knew where I’d be. But not now, obviously. I can wait a little longer.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you up to speed,” Portia says. “The real version, not whatever my idiot brother might’ve suggested. Let’s go.”

I let her spin his tale while we walk, trying not to compare this to the last time I was approaching the palace with Portia and a tall man. It seems so long ago now, though it’s been only a few days.

I should’ve told him then. I should’ve said aloud what I’ve been thinking all along. He deserves to know that I love him. I’ve known the whole time and kept it to myself, because how could I possibly love a man I met a week ago? How can he already matter so much to me that I would lie and sneak around and break the law for him? The way his name sits on my tongue, the memory of his skin against mine and the sound of his laugh… I love him. More than I’ve ever loved another person, like all the love I couldn’t express the last twenty-five years has been saved up just for him. I stifle a desperate sob with the back of my hand; I don’t want to talk about this, not with Skylar and Portia. As much as I like and appreciate them, it isn’t theirs to see yet.

We reach the palace at sunset. Exhaustion sucks at my feet as I climb the last set of stairs. It’s been a long day, one of the longest I can remember. I just want my Julian, to hold him and kiss him, to tell him what I need him to hear.

It’s as though nothing happened. The gatehouse guards make Skylar give his name, but they don’t even frisk him for weapons or ask what he’s doing here. Maybe it’s because he’s with us, or maybe they were here when he was, three years ago. I suppose it doesn’t matter; we’re across the bridge, through the doors, and turning into a corridor I haven’t been down yet before they can change their minds.

A blur of color hurtles out of a side room halfway down the hall, fast as quicksilver, stopping Portia as we pass. The newcomer speaks so quickly, through an accent I don’t think I’ve ever heard before, that I catch only a few words.

“— as you thought, the old dungeons — sent for Vlastomil — tried to go down myself, but—”

Portia cuts in. “You said you wouldn’t!”

She shrugs, rattling the beads of her magenta bracelet as she throws up her hands. “He’s in trouble, no?”

Portia shakes her head, and, to my surprise, wraps her arms around her waist and kisses her cheek. “Please don’t do this to me, Balei. One person I love is already in hot shit. I couldn’t stand it if you were, too.”

Oh. Oh.

“Um, this is Balam,” Portia says, catching sight of the blush rising to my cheeks as she turns back. “We’re, uh… yeah. Sorry I couldn’t introduce you sooner. She’s been in Prakra for a few months, just got back last night.”

My heart clenches, knowing that Portia had chosen to spend her time chasing ghosts and opening her home to me and Julian instead of being with her lover. And I can’t stifle the wave of guilt that quickly follows: I don’t think that I, in her position, would’ve done the same. If I had to choose between people who asked for my help and spending time with Julian, especially after he’d been gone… well, I can hate myself for being so selfish later.

“You’re Reyja,” Balam says to me. Without waiting for me to confirm or deny, she pushes on. “Portia’s told me all about you, and Julian, and as I said, I tried to follow the courtiers to the dungeons to see if he was alright, but they got too far ahead of me, which I suppose is for the best, considering how armed they were, but I think—”

When does she breathe?

“— I can ask Yaz to let us in, since they—”

“Yaz” couldn't possibly be Yazakh, Nadia’s bodyguard, could it? I can’t imagine anyone being on good enough terms with them to call them by a nickname.

“— and besides, I’ve been away from them, too.” Balam smiles wistfully. “East Prakra will always be my home, but to be away from you, from all of you—” She pauses to tuck one of Portia’s long red curls behind her ear. “—was more difficult than I imagined.”

Skylar, who had been watching, amused, from the sidelines, perks himself up. “East Prakra?” he asks, following the question with a raindrop-quick series of words in a language I can only assume is, indeed, East Prakran.

Balam lights up like the sun and responds. They exchange another few sentences then switch back to Vesuvian.

“I like you,” she says. I’m surprised at her straightforwardness, even if Skylar doesn’t seem to be.

“I don’t know much more than that,” he admits. “I haven’t had the chance to speak it since I left.”

Balam chuckles.

“I’m Skylar, by the way.”

“He’s an old friend of Ilya’s,” Portia adds.

“Ah. Of course I want to hear all about your time in East Prakra, but…” Balam trails off.

But Julian’s still in danger.

“Yaz will be in the gardens at this time of day. I’ll be right back.”

She’s gone before any of the rest of us can speak, racing down the hall with her colorful skirts flaring and the jingle of her many bangles floating back even as she turns the corner and disappears.

“I’ve missed her so much,” Portia says with an affectionate sigh.

I cast around for something to ask, something to distract me from the new rise of fear in my throat. Every second we delay means another chance Julian might— I don’t even want to think about it. “How did you meet?”

“She works here too, in the library.”

“Oh.” It was probably for the best that she’s been gone, then, considering what’s happened in that library the last few days.

Portia smirks at me. “Don’t worry, it’s all been cleaned up. And anyway, she’s usually too focused on her work to notice if something… else… is going on.”

“What does she do, exactly?”

“Research. Writing. She’s a magician, too.” Portia draws herself up to her full height, still several inches shorter than I am, and beams with pride. “She’s compiling a history of magic, actually. She works so hard, I know it’s going to be amazing when she’s done.”

Despite the situation, my interest is piqued. I’d love to read something like that myself. Skylar, too, nods, green eyes already distant with the thought of what he might learn. I wonder if he had time to buy the book he was examining when Julian and I found him.

“Oh, and by the way, always check which bracelet she’s wearing. If it’s silver, use ‘he’ instead.”

It isn’t long before Balam returns, her voice musical and flowing like water. She’s clinging to Yazakh’s elbow; for the first time since I came to the palace, I see them smile. It falls from their face when the two of them stop in front of us.

Yazakh’s stern golden gaze sweeps over us. They’re even taller than Julian, though not quite Skylar’s height. “You are the magician,” they say to me.

The magician Nadia hired to bring Julian to justice. There’s no question in their eyes or their smooth, deep voice, but I hear it anyway. Why would I, as that magician, want to see him now?

Julian said our relationship would come to light sooner or later. This is the worst possible time, but I don’t have it in me to lie anymore. I simply nod, and Yazakh mirrors me. I’m sure I catch a glimpse of understanding before they turn away.

“Follow me.”

The path to the dungeons is surprisingly straightforward, decorated much like the rest of the palace in cream and silk and luxury. Behind me I hear Portia and Balam whispering to each other, but it takes most of my concentration to stay calm, hold back my tears, and keep my steps steady.

The air changes, turning colder despite the summer evening outside, as we pass into a barracks crowded with off-duty guards. All of them snap to attention when they recognize Yazakh, but they push on, unlocking a heavily-barred door at the end of the room to reveal a darkened staircase. I can feel my heartbeat in my throat, behind my eyes, reaching out into the darkness in search of Julian’s. He’s down there, I know. I can only hope he’s alone.

Before we descend, Yazakh turns to another guard. “When did they leave?” they ask.

The guard blinks. “About ten minutes ago, Captain,” she responds.

“All of them?”

“Yes. And, er…”

They level their stare at her.

“We heard screams.”

A bone-deep chill washes through me. I can’t take it. I have to see him.

Though I’m sure they could’ve stopped me if they wanted to, Yazakh lets me rush around them. I reach the bottom of the staircase before the others have even started down it.

I’m shaking when I call light to my palm, illuminating the gray-black stone of the palace’s dungeon. Wrought-iron bars enclose narrow cells, some cracking with rust and disuse. For a terrible moment, I don’t see anything.

And then a flash of red catches my eye.

Julian is manacled to the wall, slumped forward over his knees with his arms spread. His shirt is in tatters, hanging from his broad shoulders; what remains is smeared with dirt and blood. I can barely see the rise and fall of his ribs, the only other movement being the steady drip of blood from his nose. As I stare, stunned to paralysis, he coughs, sending a spatter of blood droplets against the opposite wall.

“No…” I breathe. What have they done to him?

He hears me, but doesn’t recognize my voice.

“Back already?” he growls. “For more fun, I hope. I told you I could take it.”

The others, minus Yazakh, pause on the stairs behind me. Portia draws an unsteady breath.

“Ha, and you brought friends.” He spits a mouthful of blood. “Well, I’ve never backed down from a challenge and I’m not about to start n—”

At last, he looks up. His patch is gone, replaced by a storm-dark bruise that, even as I watch, is shrinking, evidence of the abuse of his captors erased by the magical mark on his throat. Our eyes meet across the room, through the door of his cell.

I can’t hold back the tears anymore.

"Reyja!" He thrashes against his chains, swearing when it results in nothing but a rattle. “No, they weren’t supposed to—!”

I stumble to the bars. I can’t reach him. “Julian…”

“I didn’t tell them, I swear! I would never—”

“I believe you, I just—”

Someone touches my shoulder. I think I hear Portia bury a sob in Balam’s neck and Skylar hiss through his teeth.

“You need to get out of here, darling,” Julian says, words racing like wildfire. “Please, I can’t bear to see—”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You have to!” He’s getting fierce now.

“No! Not without you!”

The door opens. I didn’t do that. But a key rasps against the iron and I fling myself into the cell as soon as the bars swing away, dropping to my knees at Julian’s side. He squirms again, trying desperately to break free though he must know it’s impossible by now. Tears blur my vision as I scrape uselessly at one of his manacles.

“Reyja—”

I can only answer with a sob, fed by my frustration. What kind of magician am I, that I can’t even break a lock? No, wait— The spell comes unbidden to my hand, after I draw another stuttering breath. I snap the cold iron at its seams, both wrists at once.

“Please, my dearest,” Julian tries again, even as his voice cracks from the weight of his own tears. “They’ll come back…”

Heedless of the blood, I press into his side. He can’t fight the desire any more than I can and folds over me, crying into the notch of my shoulder, still begging me to go even as he holds me closer.

I don’t know how much time passes before I come back to myself. We’re alone; our friends must have decided we needed this moment. Somehow, I retained enough awareness to keep the light in my hand glowing. I set it overhead so I can wrap my arms around Julian’s neck and hug him to my chest.

He winces. I recoil; the man was just tortured, I shouldn’t be causing more damage. But he doesn’t let me retreat from his embrace.

“They didn’t get you, did they?” I can barely hear him, though we’re intertwined.

“No. Skylar, and Portia, and Balam—”

He shudders. “If they find out—”

“Yazakh’s on our side.”

“The Countess’s bodyguard?”

“They let us in.”

“Perhaps they haven’t gotten everyone, then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, darling…” Julian sighs. “My goose is cooked.”

“What? But you didn’t do it!” He’s only in danger because of Lucio’s murder charge, and we have proof that he’s innocent. Surely—

“Didn’t I?”

I rear back to stare at him, incredulous enough to stop my tears at last. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course you didn’t. Skylar said so, and so did Lucio himself!”

“To be fair, what he said was that I didn’t help him.”

“That’s not the same thing!”

“It won’t matter.”

I shake my head. “Nadia said you’ll get a trial.”

He laughs harshly. “In front of whom? Praetor Vlastomil? I heard Vulgora send one of their soldiers off for him. He’ll listen to the loudest voice in his ear, and wouldn’t dare go against what Valdemar wanted.”

“Why does it matter what Valdemar wants? They’re not in charge.”

“I’m not so sure of that. Nadia was gone for a long time, you know. The people who, erm, who brought me here, they're no loyal Vesuvians.”

“You think Valdemar consolidated power while Nadia was in Prakra?”

“They’re perfectly capable of it.” He gestures at his plagued eye. “I, ah, I still can’t remember everything, but what Skylar said… They were planning something, back then. Three years ago. Something I got in the way of. Something they never lost the drive to complete, it seems.”

I didn’t sign up for political intrigue. But I did sign up to solve this mystery, and if that’s where the next clue leads… “So what now?”

“Erm.”

I don’t like the way he said that. “What?” I repeat, narrowing my eyes.

“Well, ah.”

“Julian, please, just tell me.”

He lets out a long breath and tips his head back to look into my eyes. “Do you remember the night we spent at Mazelinka’s?”

“Of course I remember. It was, like, days ago.”

“I woke you up with my nightmares, but I couldn’t remember them.”

“Yeah?”

“What, ah, what Skylar said. I had been ranting about a bird. A raven-headed man with his wings bound. And I, erm. There’s a… there’s a book. I— I stole it. From Asra.”

Asra. Julian had been searching for my former master when we first met.

“I saw it again when we were in the library, but I couldn’t remember until… The raven-headed man is in it, along with some, ah, other things.” He pauses, scanning my face in the silvery light of my magic, and heaves another heavy sigh before pushing on. “Tarot things.”

Tarot? Like, my kind of tarot? What could he possibly— no.

“The raven-man is the Hanged Man,” Julian says quietly. “I think I contacted him once, long ago. The book says us non-magic folks can only do that through dreams, or… or…”

People without magical abilities rarely encounter the Arcana. They have no use for each other, and most of the time can’t communicate anyway. But every so often, in the depths of a dream or when the fabric between worlds thins, preparing for a departed consciousness to cross over…

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” I can’t help the volume of my outburst. He really can’t be serious.

“I have to speak to him, Reyja! I have to! I feel it in my heart, my soul, the same way I— well, the same way I knew we would have something special. But dreams turn into nightmares every time. Something’s not working with that route. This is all I have left.”

New tears spring to my eyes, but these are fueled by anger. How dare he— “You want to get hanged?”

“Of course not!” He pulls me closer at the very idea. “But the, the mark… it won’t let me do it myself.”

His words fall heavily against the stone walls around us. He would only know that if… “You—?”

“Those three years were very long, my darling. Very long and very dark, at times.”

“You tried to—?”

“Just once, at my lowest.”

I can almost feel my heart break. “Julian…”

“I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t see another—”

I cut him off, hugging him tight, like if only I squeeze hard enough, I can erase that pain. I wish I didn’t understand it, but it’s all too familiar. I never got low enough to try, but the thought lingered through so many of my days. Every time the hopelessness, the loneliness, welled up like blood in a wound, I imagined how much simpler it would be to… My tears are soaking into what’s left of his shirt, and from the trembling of his body against mine, I can tell that Julian’s crying too. I give in and let it come, wondering distantly how much more I can cry today.

But there has to be another way. I won’t let him do this. I can’t let him do this. And we aren’t alone, not anymore.

“Have you talked to Asra?” I ask thickly, after I’ve hiccuped to silence again.

“About what, darling?”

“The Hanged Man. How to contact him in a way that doesn’t involve dying.”

“Erm. Well, of course I was looking for him. But I, ah, I didn’t have much to go off of, you understand. And when I found you instead… No, I haven’t.”

“Can we at least try that?”

“If you think he would listen.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Erm… no reason.”

"Alright then.” I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand, then clear away some of his tears too. He still looks horrible, but we can't do anything about that at the moment. And in any case, there’s something a little more pressing to take care of first. “Let’s go.”

“You know where Asra is?”

“Not yet, but we’re not looking for him right now.”

“What? Why not?”

I stand up and offer him my hand. “We need to talk to Nadia.”

—————

Skylar belongs to @ollifree.

Balam belongs to @atypicalacademic.

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#cw suicidal thoughts #moth & raven #the arcana #the arcana fanfic #julian devorak #reyja north

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