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princessbrunette · 5 months

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All i can think about is rafe cameron buying you stupidly expensive lingerie sets for christmas😵‍💫 and then after breakfast he asks you to model them🤭

SANTA BABY ♡

gettin me in the festive spirit hehehe this made me wanna spend xmas with the cameron’s so bad :((

cw: christmas duh, family bonding time, i aged Wheezie down to be like 6 years old bc i think it would be cute idk LMAOOO , suggestive themes but nothing too crazy ❀

At his core, Rafe Cameron liked to think he was a family man. He’d often flip out, misbehave, and shit talk his family members it’s true, but Christmas was a time he liked to put it all behind him (Atleast until the new year starts, and he can start up his usual BS)

As you can imagine, Christmas at the Cameron’s was something extravagant. Humungous white christmas tree with silver decorations at the centre of the house, the outside of the house decked with lights that required enough power to start up 3 yachts, fake snow on the porch and Frank Sinatras Christmas album playing round the house at each corner. The years had only softened Ward, and whilst he could be cruel, hard on Rafe and borderline forgetful of Wheezies existence — Christmas was where he shone brightest, just wanting to do right by his kids and now, you, his sons girlfriend.

Receiving presents from the family was a whole different ballgame to your usual Christmas at home, Ward having grinned ear to ear when he handed you the box with the Tiffany’s heart tag charm bracelet glittering under the Christmas lights of the early morning (Wheezie being Wheezie woke everyone up at 6AM sharp.) Rafe, who’d insisted you’d curled right up to his side on the couch wearing his robe resisted an eye roll, his dad always having to out do him, but you seemed elated and he felt his heart warm.

They went all out, Rose handing you a literal 90’s Blumarine runway piece she’d simply overheard you talking Rafes ear off about, the next 5 minutes spent by you and Sarah fawning over it. Sarah’s gift was next, a set of SKIMS dresses you’d been saving to your Pinterest which she couldn’t help but notice, and of course Wheezie proudly handing you a glittery macaroni necklace she’d crafted you at school, which you had no choice but to act like it was the best gift of all.

Come Rafe’s turn, he simply offered his family a smile and patted your side, turning his head to look at you. “I’ve got her presents in my room, figured I’d give it to you privately.” He teases, ignoring Sarah’s ‘Barf’ comment from her cross legged position on the floor beside her little sister.

The family dispersed for a little while, Sarah helping Wheezie set up her new toys on the carpet infront of the tree, Rose and Ward going to start up the food in the kitchen (Ward insists on cooking everything themselves instead of having the chefs do it, because it was tradition.) Before you could wander in there and offer your help, you were being pulled back gently by the arm into your fluffy robe clad boyfriend wearing a poorly masked excited smile. “What, you don’t want your present from me?”

He slides a box from under his bed when you get up to his room again, covered with thin pink gift paper to hide the logo. He sits on his chair, robe falling between his legs and bare knees exposed outwards. “C’mon, sit on santas lap.” He grins and you mirror him, skipping over, happy and spoiled and perching on his leg. He puts the box in your lap and you peel away the paper to see the Agent Provocateur logo with the iconic black ribbon. You widen your eyes at him as if to say ‘Okaaaay, good job’ before wedging your fingertips carefully beneath the cardboard lip and lifting it, seeing 5 sets before you that was perfectly accustomed to your taste.

You remember your trip to the city with Rafe, it was business of course — but you were happy to tag along and walk alongside him watching him handle things for you and his family. You’d spotted the fancy lingerie store, practically pressing yourself up against the glass of the window as you look inside rambling about how you had so many of the sets saved to your Pinterest, pointing out each with your finger smushed to the glass. Rafe nodded distractedly, phone pressed to his ear, leaning on his hip in his gridded shirt and khaki pants that fit too good, before gesturing to you with his thumb that the two of you needed to get moving again, or else you’d be late to the appointment with a buyer. You pout and peel yourself away from the store.

But that was like what, September? Did he go back and buy it all for you? Order it once he’d returned home with you? You’d know Rafe to hold a grudge, but didn’t know his memory served in a positive manner too. “Rafe…” You coo, plucking out the sets and holding them up to admire the intricate lace detailing, spotting matching garters and whatever else you’d mentioned laying in the box. The thought of him fumbling through your underwear drawer trying to figure out your bra size made you giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck in an appreciative squeeze.

“How’d you remember?” Your voice was high in awe, wanting to hold on to this sweet side of Rafe forever.

“Please, I pay attention sometimes y’know.” He smirks modestly, eyes on the box as he admires his work. “So you like it? Yeah?” His hands finding your hips and giving them a soft squeeze.

“Love it, Rafey.” It comes out muffled, because you’re busying yourself with pressing big wet kisses to his cheek, and then eventually his mouth. He pulls away a fraction, lips still brushing yours and eyes cracking open.

“Gonna try it all on for me though, right?” He drawls in that classic Rafe way that you can never say no to and you nod so vigorously you nearly headbutt him. He pats your butt with a pleased hum and pecks you once more. “Atta girl.”

#anon #rafe cameron drabble #rafe cameron prompt #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron fluff

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ivys-garden · 14 days

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Since people seemed to like it, I thought I'd go more in depth to my idea for Pigeons in Minecraft. Criticism is encouraged and welcome

PIGEONS

Pigeons are a passive mob spawning in all forested biomes as well as deserts and tundras. Pigeons will also rarely Spawn in Woodland Mansions, Pillager Outposts, Witch Huts, Igloos and Villages

Pigeons have 8 distinct looks depending on the biome:

Pigeons can be Tamed by the player using any of the following:

● Carrots

● Golden Carrots

● Potatoes

● Seeds

● Pumpkin Seeds

● Melon Seeds

● Beetroot

● Melon Slices

● Glistering Melon

● Spider Eyes

● Fermented Spider Eye

● Apples

● Golden Apples

● Enchanted Golden Apples

● Sweet Berries

● Glow Berries

● Sugar Cane

● Honey Come

When Tamed, players can make pigeons sit, stand and Perch on their shoulder.

Bird Nests

Bird Nests are naturally occurring in all overworld tree types, they can be harvested by the player with silk touch or crafted like this:

Pigeons and parrots can be sat in Bird Nests and will lay eggs in there when fed (this doesn't require two pigeons or parrots, thisnis indicated by hearts above the birds head) This is the only way to breed pigeons and parrots. Parrot eggs have a yellow tint while pigeon eggs are speckled purple. Eggs hatch after 5 minutes, eggs can be collected via a right click from the player or when the nest is broken with silk touch. Eggs can be placed on the ground in sets of 4. Eggs placed on the ground never hatch. They only hatch when placed back into an egg

Deliveries

Pigeons that lay their eggs in a nest will claim it as there's, pigeons can claim up to two Nests at a time.

Right clicking on a tamed pigeon in a nest with an item in the player's hand opens an interface, similar to the horse, where pigeons can be given an item yo hold. Pigeons can only carry written books and bundles. Assuming the pigeon has claimed two Nests the player can send the pigeon to the other nest on either a one way or return trip.

A pigeon with an item will fly to the other nest, loading chunks as they do so (chucks loaded by a pigeon cannot Spawn mobs or perform tick updates such as crop growth, to prevent lag).

When the pigeon reaches the nest they will place the item into the nest. Items can be removed from the nest via a right click or via a hopper placed below the nest.

Pigeons can go through half block gaps to get to the nest, if they are unable to access the nest after 30 seconds they become frustrated (indicated by particles above their head) and drop the item on the ground.

Assuming that the player chooses for the pigeon to make a return trip, the pigeon will Fly back regardless as to whether or not it could access the nest.

If the player chose one way, the pigeon will stay in the second nest with the deposited item, unless it couldn't access the nest in which case it will automatically teleport back to the player

All players can use Tamed pigeons to send packages, regardless of whether or not they were the one to tame the pigeon.

Achievements and Advancements

Pigeons have one advancement and two achievements:

Special Delivery - Advancement for sending a package with a pigeon

Sky Rat Master - achievement for obtaining all pigeon variants

Spoiled Rotten - achievement for feeding a pigeon one of every golden food item

#minecraft #minecraft ideas #minecraft suggestions #pigeon #best bird.#dont @ me #im right

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public-trans-it · 3 months

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Fighters should have magic

I mean this shit 100% seriously BTW.

An impassioned rant about Fighters' place in modern campaigns.

There is certainly an argument to be made for sometimes not giving Fighters access to magic! In a low magic setting like Dark Sun (yes, I know the magic situation in that setting is more complicated than that), it makes perfect sense that Fighters wouldn't go anywhere near the stuff! In some of the more old school low fantasy focused DnD editions, or some OSR systems, it makes sense that magic would require years of practice for even the most basic of spells, and so Fighters wouldn't bother with it.

That is not, however, the bulk of modern campaigns. Be it DnD, or Pathfinder, or so many other fantasy heartbreakers out there nowadays, most campaigns are fantastical, filled with wonderous magic and queer tieflings and rogues who literally cloak themselves in shadows and jumping between planes to save the world and so much more!

In these campaigns, Fighters should know magic!

If your setting is even close to treating magic as commonplace, where having a level 1 wizard under the age of a billion fucking years old is considered within the realm of feasibility, than EVERYONE should have access to magic!

Any adventurer in such a setting who decided to start a life of wilderness exploration, and DIDN'T learn the spell Prestidigitation, is nothing short of monster bait. "Oh yes this spell that starts campfires and cleans my clothes and seasons my food and is THE MOST BASIC SPELL IN EXISTENCE certainly isn't worth my time!" - The words of someone about to get eaten by a coyote on their first night. Not even a fun magical creature, just a regular ass coyote because they are THAT unprepared. Even if it wasn't a cantrip and required 5 minutes of focus to cast, every adventurer should know this spell by heart.

But obviously, that isn't unique to just Fighters.

Fighters are focused on being masters of weaponry! They study the blade, learn it inside and out! They don't have time for magic... right?

No. They don't have time to learn SPELLS. That you could absolutely make an argument for. A fighter doesn't have to learn to shoot a fireball, because that's not how they fight. Not knowing magic that augments their fighting style, in a setting where magic is commonplace, is equivalent to that fighter going "Oh I'm too busy to learn to fight with weapons. I dont have time to learn to sharpen one properly." THAT IS ASININE. WHAT REASON DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE FOR IGNORING A SKILL DIRECTLY LINKED TO THEIR CHOSEN PROFESSION? Spells like True Strike are things a fighter would learn! But even if not spells, magical augmentation to their skill are something a Fighter would absolutely embrace! Anything that helps them further the effectiveness of their weapons should be fair game for their practice. Even if it worked like Paladins or Rangers where you typically just don't get the spells until higher levels.

And the games already reflect this! What do Fighters need to maintain damage pacing and ability as they grow stronger? That's right. Magic. In the form of Magic Weapons and Armor.

Magic armaments are considered commonplace in these settings, being handed out like candy. They are an expected part of character progression, and the games are balanced around the expectation that a fighter will be using them. So why, then, is the master of weapons and all they embody completely ignorant on the front of magical weapons?

Sure, a fighter might not be able to craft magic weapons. Not every fighter has to be a blacksmith. But much like how it should be expected that a fighter should be able to at least MAINTAIN their weapons, a fighter should absolutely be trained in the kinds of magic that are APPLIED to weapons. A fighter should be able to take a single glance at a weapon in a chest, and turn to the party and go "Hey this thing is cursed as fuck, don't touch it."

In worlds that are so fantastical and magical, it does not make sense to have a guy who's whole deal is knowing how to fight, and have him completely ignore A MASSIVE segment of fighting styles they will be going up against.

If your setting is magical, then your Fighters should be magical too, damnit!

#text essay #ttrpg

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ellieluvr420 · 3 months

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Friends? Never. Pt.5 (Ellie Williams x reader)

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

You had been strolling around the market looking for food to grab for you and Ellie for well over an hour now but you loved to walk and look at all the stalls and you easily spent 30 minutes in the fruit section alone, you had also spent too long looking at all the crafts Mabel had made. Mabel was a sweet elderly woman that always had a stall full of candles and jewellery, even makeup sometimes, she had always been so kind to you, slipping you little gifts whenever you'd visit. You were thinking to yourself about all the food you could make this week and what Ellie would want when you hear a familiar southern twang behind you.

"Hey kiddo, long time no see." You turn to see Joel's crooked smile as you face him and you find yourself returning it without a second thought despite the burning in your cheeks as you're faced with the man that witnessed so closely how you treated Ellie all those years ago. You were shocked he was talking to you but you remembered Ellie going round there for dinner one night last week so you thought maybe she had told him you were both okay now.

"Hi Joel, no kidding, how you been?"

"Same old, same old, how are you liking the new house?"

"Oh it's so beautiful, we've got the woods right behind us so there's no complaints about the view. Ellie's a pretty good roommate too I guess." You say jokingly and your heart flutters just a little when he joins you with a chuckle.

"Yeah she's told me a lot."

"She has? I would say good things I hope but I doubt it." Your tone is playful but you mean what you say.

"Are you kidding? She only has good things to say about you. I'm getting sick of listening to it to be honest. How about you both come over for dinner tonight and you can both annoy me instead of just her?" You're completely taken aback by his offer but the thought of having dinner with Joel makes you remember the dinner with your parents, it still plays on a loop in your head and all you want is to think of something different when you imagine dinner with parents so you agree before you even ask Ellie. You say your goodbyes and finish up at the market before starting a pleasant stroll back to your home.

As you get closer you notice Maria striding towards you. You're shocked by the sight because there's only about 3 houses within a close distance of where you are right now as you and Ellie live right on the outskirts of Jackson, but you smile at her anyway which she returns as she continues pacing towards her next destination.

Ellie had been rereading some of her favourite comics while you went out to the market until a knock at the door interrupts her. She knew it couldn't be you because you had a key and you also knew that Ellie never locked the door because you had scolded her for it many times so her interest piqued as she rushed towards the blurry figure she could see behind the pane of glass in the middle of the front door.

"Hi Ellie sorry to just stop by like this, can I come in?" Ellie freezes as she sees Maria standing before her with a smile that didn't often grace her face.

"Oh yeah, hi Maria, what's up?" She asks as she steps aside to let Maria in.

"I wanted to come talk to you both in person because there has been an opening in one of the flats so if either of you want to move out you can."

"Oh er well she's not here right now but I'll definitely tell her but me, I'm good here, I've unpacked now and I'm settled so I'm happy to stay."

"Are you two actually getting along?"

"Well we haven't killed each other yet."

"Well that's good to hear, anyway I've got to run, let her know to come talk to me if she wants to move okay?" She smiles and opens the door to let herself out again as Ellie waves her off. As soon as the door shuts she breathes a sigh of relief that you weren't here when Maria came over, she'd feel utterly defeated if after everything you moved out and away from her just like that but then she started to wonder if you would want to move out and if she should tell you and if you'd be mad if she doesn't tell you and you find out. The thoughts were overcrowding her head as she stands frozen in the entryway until the click of the doorknob tells her you're home and she immediately lurches at the door to swing it open for you.

"Oh! Jesus Ellie you scared me."

"Sorry I heard you at the door and I thought you might want help with the bags." Her voice breaks and you raise an eyebrow at her suspiciously.

"Oh because I'm so weak I can't bring everything through to the kitchen?" Your face is sour but your voice is playful.

"You are so annoying, I said if you want help not need it." She rolls her eyes and fights the smile threatening her lips.

"Oh well in that case, that would be lovely." You smile and place the bags in her arms before strutting off to the kitchen leaving her with all the food.

"Hey I said I would help not do it all for you!" She yells.

"Can't hear you!" You drag out the last word in a sing-song fashion that prompts her to roll her eyes and just accept defeat as she starts carrying the bags to where you were in the kitchen before placing them down on the small table where you both have breakfast most mornings.

"On my way back I saw Maria round here walking back to town. Did she come here?"

"Errrr" Ellie froze, she didn't know if she should lie and deal with the consequences later down the line or tell the truth and hope you feel the same way as her but there was not enough time as the look of confusion on your face grew so her instincts kicked in. "No, no she didn't. Must've been going to one of the others."

"Hm okay, she actually smiled at me when she walked past, how crazy is that? She hasn't smiled at me since me and you have been getting sent to her for fighting every other day."

"Ha yeah that is so weird." Ellie doesn't sound convinced, she knows that, but her heart is beating way too fast for her to care, she should've told the truth but she's dug the hole now, no going back.

"Oh um by the way I have a confession, I don't think you're gonna be happy about it."

"Oh great."

"Joel invited us both to dinner tonight at his and I kinda said yes." You smile sheepishly at her as her face drops.

"Seriously? Oh my god I'm gonna die."

"Oh come on, it won't be that bad."

"Whyyyyy did you say yes? You should've said we were busy."

"You know I can't lie to that man's face and besides this is as much on you as it is me."

"Excuse you?"

"If you hadn't been saying all those lovely things about me at dinner last time he wouldn't have approached me and invited me sooo..." You trail off and end your sentence with a sickly sweet grin as her face blushes and her jaw clenches.

"I am going to kill him." You giggle as she rolls her eyes and storms off before comically running back into the room. "What time did he say?"

"Six."

"Oh my god he is so old." You laugh as she storms off again like a child before unpacking everything you had got this morning.

"Hello! Come on in, you're actually on time, I assume this was down to you and not Ellie?" He eyes you and then Ellie as you giggle at her rolling her eyes for about the 50th time today already. She had been grumpy and whiny all day about going to Joel's and it only made you laugh more each time. He beckons you into the small cabin that he had moved into, it was similar to yours and Ellie's and not too far either but his had only one bedroom and no second floor, he moved when all the housing got changed because of the influx of new arrivals as his old house had 3 bedrooms and Ellie's garage that just weren't being used anymore. You think back to the times you had spent in Ellie's garage with her and it makes you sad at the thought of someone else living there and making it their own, you feel selfish for it but you don't care, you had the best memories from when you and her would hang out together there and now its not yours or even hers anymore.

“Ellie you know where everything is, get our guest a drink and you,” he looks at you with a cheeky smile knowing how it’s going to annoy Ellie. “come sit down and relax.” Another huff and eye roll from Ellie before she walks off to the kitchen.

You and Joel had been catching up and exchanging small talk while Ellie grabbed some drinks until she joined you.

“So how’s it been living together? I see Maria’s plan worked.” It was your turn to roll your eyes now.

“It’s been fine.” “Good.” You both blurt out at the same time before exchanging an annoyed look with each other.

“Oh come on, can you really not admit that you’re friends again?” There’s that word again that made Ellie’s heart clench a little, friends, it’s true but she still doesn’t like it.

“Not if it means proving Maria right.” Ellie crosses her arms and leans back into the squishy sofa you were both seated on.

“Yeah I just can’t do that.” You agree.

“You two are way too stubborn for your own good.”

“Look who’s talking.” Ellie snipes and he laughs before slapping his knees that popped as he stood before ushering you to the table.

“You sound like you’re getting old.” Ellie laughs.

“Shut up and sit down.” You reply.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.” She whisper-yells at you.

“Since when?” You smirk at the displeased look on her face before sitting down as Joel brings out the pasta bake he had made and sets it down in front of you both.

“Joel this looks amazing, thank you so much!” Your mouth is actually watering at the sight of it and Ellie can’t help but smile at the childish excitement of your expression.

Dinner was perfect, the pasta bake was one of the nicest things you had eaten in awhile, neither you or Ellie being the best cooks, and Joel’s company was so refreshing you had almost forgotten about your previous dinner experience.

“I saw you chatting with your parents at the tipsy bison the other day. Glad to see they’ve come to their senses.” You don’t miss the glare Ellie shoots at him or the small thump under the table accompanied with a hiss from Joel. You pretend to not notice the obvious kick Ellie had delivered his way as you chuckle a little.

“Not quite actually, it’s okay though really. I’m happy with how things are at the moment.” You smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes and Ellie’s face tells of the pity she feels towards you. You mouth ‘I’m fine’ to her and look back at Joel. “Really, it’s no biggie.”

“Oh well I’ll sorry anyway.”

“Thanks.” You recover from the awkward moment well and the rest of dinner went smoothly.

You’re standing in the kitchen helping Ellie tidy up, you had both already done the washing and drying so now you were just putting everything away. You were standing at the cupboard where the plates go and as you bent down to put them away Ellie reached over you to put a glass away above your head. You gasp as you feel Ellie’s hips pressing into you from behind and immediately snap up turning to face her. “Sorry.” You mutter.

She smirks and cocks her head as she grabs onto the counter on either side of you, boxing you in. “For what?” She leans in a little and you can smell the fresh scent of her body wash that always made her smell of washing that had been dried outside. You savour it before meeting her eyes that had a mischievous sparkle.

You can’t find any words, you weren’t really sure there was an answer to her question and even if there was, you certainly wouldn’t find the words now when her nose is brushing against yours as she ghosts her lips over yours that were taking quick, shuddering breaths. You search Ellie’s eyes and despite the proximity you can still see the uncertainty and insecurity that cast a film over them and knitted her eyebrows together. All Ellie wanted to do was lean in and close the gap but something was holding her back, maybe it was the shock on your face, or the possibility you might push her away, maybe she just wants you to be the one to make the first move, maybe she needs it after everything that’s happened between the both of you.

“All done tidying up?” Joel’s voice sounds as he walks into the kitchen causing you and Ellie to both jump away from each other like you were magnets that repelled when they got too close. None of you make eye contact, all standing staring at the floor in silence until Ellie clears her throat.

“Thanks for having us old man but we should probably get back. I’m okay but she needs her beauty sleep... bad.” She points a finger in your direction but shields it from you with her other hand as if you wouldn’t see.

“Well alright.” He leads you both to the door and as Ellie walks down the steps of the porch he turns to you in a hushed manner. “I know you’ve had it rough with your parents but I promise you’ll always be accepted here.” Tears brim in your eyes and all you can think to do is hug him, you squeezed him until his back clicked which prompted you to let him go with a small apology as he laughed.

The next morning you’re standing making a drink in the kitchen when Ellie walks in with her backpack and beat-up converse on.

“Hey I’ve gotta go on patrol but I should be back by five-ish I think. Wanna watch a movie when I’m back?”

“Yeah sounds good.” You smile and she returns it before moving to walk out the door. “Be safe!” You call out and she smiles at the sentiment although you can’t see.

“Always.” You roll your eyes knowing that is a complete lie but go back to your drink as you hear the door slam shut as it always does when Ellie is entering or exiting, she had always been so heavy-handed and it’s clear that’s still the case.

You were sitting trying to read your book but it had only been an hour since Ellie left and it was still 6 hours until she came back, and all you could think about was if she was okay and safe. The thoughts spiralled until your skin was crawling and a lump in your throat had appeared. You knew Ellie was good on patrol, she was one of the best, she hadn’t grown up in Jackson so she had the knowledge of the dangers of the real world far more engrained in her than most, yet you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, it was a feeling deep in your gut that made you feel nauseous and you just couldn’t shake it no matter how much you tried to rationalise with yourself.

The hours went by painfully slowly but five pm had finally rolled around and you were sitting expectantly on the sofa waiting for the signature slamming of the door against the wall to tell you she’s home. But it never came. Five turned to five-thirty and then to six but there was no sign of Ellie. You had begun pacing well over fifteen minutes ago and you were starting to become dizzy enough that you either needed to sit down or walk in a straight line. So you walked in a straight line all the way to the gates of Jackson where you’re met with a commotion you hadn’t ever seen before, you immediately run to Jesse who has a forlorn look on his face.

“What’s going on? Why aren’t they back yet?”

“We don’t know.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW? ISN’T THAT YOUR JOB?” He looks shocked at your sudden outburst before dragging you away from the crowd whose eyes had now all fallen on you.

“I’m sorry you’re worried but we all are and freaking out doesn’t help anyone. I’m sure they’re fine, they might’ve just got held up okay.” As he speaks you hear yelling from the men standing at the guard posts on top of the wall and you breathe a sigh of relief when the gates begin to open. The first thing you do is run straight to the front of the crowd pushing and shoving past people to get there to try and get a glimpse of her auburn hair.

Your heartbeat quickens until you see the flash of red you had been waiting for but as she gets closer you see her hunched over form and the array of bruises and cuts littering the skin you could see. Two men walk over to her and Shimmer and help her down before holding her up as she hobbles away from the horse and directly at you. Her eyes meet yours and the relief turns to anger, anger at the anxiety she had caused you. You knew your reaction wasn’t fair on her but you couldn’t stop yourself regardless. You rush towards her and she smiles.

“Where the fuck were you?” You shove at her and she winces as she stumbles a little. “What the fuck happened?” You slap and hit at her chest, releasing the frustration and fear that had been pent up inside you and she let you, until she started to see black spots in her vision from your assault on her already wounded body which was when she caught both your hands in a tight grip and held them to her chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, the horde came out of nowhere. We lost three and the rest of us barely made it out.” Her words hit you hard as you shrunk back from her realising the irrationality of your outburst. “It’s okay, I’m fine but can we please go home?” She pleads and you immediately replace the guy that was holding her up with her arm over his shoulder as you start to walk her back home. Every hiss and wince, every stumble, every shaky breath made you feel worse for your initial reaction but it drove you to get her home as quick as possible so she could rest.

As Maria and Jesse watch you both walk away arm in arm they exchange a look of confusion.

"What was that about?" Jesse questioned Maria.

"No idea, but that was weird." Maria replied.

They watched you both until you were out of sight as Maria smiled to herself knowing exactly what was going on and knowing she was right to move you in together.

tags: @emiliabby @readbydayana @radioheadfan699

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #tlou ellie #ellie #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x you

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keiwook · 11 months

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LIVESTREAMS WITH ZB1

pairing zb1 x idol!reader

genre mostly comedy, maybe fluff ? reader is in zb1 🤝

warnings mentions of food/drinks in hao and hanbin’s

notes hi anon, thank you for requesting ! i didn’t want this to be romantic as idol life is,, something.. but still, i hope you enjoy this ! 🫶

masterlist<3

— zhang hao

you’re playing drinking games

and before you ask, no. it’s not actual alcohol

you mix up the most unhinged drink combinations

like soy milk + tea + mountain dew 😃

the drink literally has particles in it

you play the ‘of course’ game and it turns ugly real quick

“you know that i’m better than you at everything, right?” zhanghao says, feeling proud

“of course! zhanghao.. you know that hanbin loves me more, right?” a smirk tugging on your lips that zhanghao so desperately wanted to slap off

loses the game because of that and has to chug down every drop (he’s ok tho i think)

“you’re lucky we’re live right now.”

— sung hanbin

since he was a barista, you guys are making drinks

he teaches you some tips and tricks but it’s more complicated than you think

his drink is so much more visually pleasing than yours although you both followed the same steps 😭

like pretty gradient colors that blend well together

but it’s expected cuz he’s a professional

you do a taste test

and his drink tastes like heaven 👍

you offered yours to him and he tries it

ngl, you were nervous about his opinion

“uh, it’s definitely a new experience.”

— seok matthew

some kind of crafts live

where you both are making those bead bracelets

you make ones for eachother and also the other members !

and matthew is all like ‘oh, you’re gonna love what i made for you’

he’s so proud of his creations

and at some point he accidentally spills every bead onto the table 😭

and you both take a look at eachother like 😐

and it becomes quiet for a whole 5 minutes as he picks everything back up

after that, you both continue making bracelets for the other members 🫶

“jiwoon hyung likes this color, i know him better than you!”

— shen ricky

painting live

you guys are making paintings to hang on eachothers walls

it’s actually pretty chill with ricky 👍

but then he accidentally splattered some paint onto his designer white shirt

his honest reaction to that: ☹️

but its okay, he can just buy a new one. maybe get a car too while he’s at it

since ricky is really good at arts

you wanted to paint him smth nice too

so you just put your autograph onto the canvas

he loves it tho and keeps it in his room 😔

“i can sell this!”

— park gunwook

workout stream

it was actually supposed to be a live for gunwook and matthew

but matthew had to do smth else

so you offered to accompany gunwook instead !

gunwook shares his workout tips and you just nod and agree

you both share your workout routines and people make articles abt them 🫢

‘zb1’s gunwook and y/n workout routine: is it effective?’

oh and you also get thirst trap edits bcuz of this

flaunting your muscles and abs and stuff idk 😭

“do you guys wanna know the secret to my godly physique?”

— kim taerae

from the content we have now..

it’s 100% a karaoke live

wbk he loves singing and he wanted to invite you to ‘taerae show #2’

has his anpanman guitar, ready at hand 🤝

you both have a blast singing and taerae becomes main rapper at some point

he’s so immersed in the ballad songs, he prolly starts crying for effects 😔

biggest hypeman

like he’s all ‘OH MY GOD WOAHHHH’

and he also harmonises w you

don’t be surprised when you get a compilation of ‘y/n and taerae: 5th gen main vocals’

“100 points?! i’m so good!”

— kim gyuvin

q&a stream

answering fan questions and basically fan service

“is a butt one or two?”

gyuvin actually thinks about it for a second and is like “oh my god.” 😭

it got too confusing though so you continued reading the comments

someone asked what he did today and he started thinking

“uh..” “sorry, i forgot.” you joke, making gyuvin stare daggers to you 🫢

he looks back to the screen

and with a wide smile he said

“i’m sorry zerose! i think we have to end the live here. thank you for watching!”

— kim jiwoong

makeup stream

where you do his makeup

and he’s giving you those eyes yk 👀

the comments are going crazy bcuz of it

and when you do his lips, he smiles and it curves so perfectly (ahdguajskshaikahdh)

you accidentally went overboard with the glitter

but jiwoong pulls off everything so it still looks amazing

everyone loves what you did and your makeup style is trending 👍

“i think some glitter got stuck in my eye.”

— han yujin

i don’t know why but you both are face painting

but instead of face painting on yourselves, you face paint eachother

“i’m gonna make you into a piece of art” he says as he paints a streak onto your face

he stops to take a step back and look at everything from a bigger picture

and bursts into laughter 😃

you’re so worried abt what he did to you

he tries to regain his composure but laughs every few seconds

“what’s wrong? what did you do?” “nothing! i made you look very.. cool.” 😁

and then you look into a mirror and you look like shrek's offspring (yes, you get turned into a meme)

“this is my best piece yet! should i leave my signature too?”

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kingtrash-fox · 3 months

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Smiling Critters headcanons while I continue my C&C AU

This is for the 5 people who want to actually read the damn thing and anyone who likes the Smiling Critters

(Note: Might contain a bit of Shipping. This is about the Cartoon characters not the Toys)

🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟪🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟪🟥🟧🟨🟩

If any of the critters have to go to the doctor whether it’s for a checkup or something you need to have like 8 plans in place for both Catnap and Dogday. You can make a life a bit easier on yourself if you schedule them together but they will still refuse regardless. Only Bubba has the knowledge to contain them.

Kickin has broken both arms and legs at least once and it’s always when he’s doing a stunt.

(Warning:Platonic Shipping): Catnap and Dogday have licked each other (Mainly cause it’s a way to show affection , and a way to bond for actual Cats and Dogs) on the forehead on a handful of occasions. Bobby and Bubba are the only ones who know what this means and are the only ones grinning while everyone looks at them like madmen.

Hoppy has the absolute worst schedule of the critters going to bed at 4 am on average and waking up at 8:30 am and somehow is a functional Critter daily. Catnap and Picky work together to give them a better sleep schedule.

No one in that friend group is Straight. I don’t make the rules.

Picky is the 2nd messiest eater of the group being beaten by Crafty who is just as messy with her food as she is with her craft supplies. Like if she has spaghetti she will have sauce just all over her no matter WHAT you do.

(Quick note for some HC Like the Above: Some of these are just for the funny and not to be taken seriously. Please don’t attack me)

Hide and seek champion of the Critters is Hoppy mainly cause they hide in places not even Kickin would think of.

Bubba and Catnap actually share the same house being a tree and a Treehouse on top respectively. Whenever Dogday visits Catnap a platform drops by Bubbas front door so he doesn’t have to cut through his house to get to Catnaps.

Bobby is the hugging type of friend. Catnap actively dosent like being hugged by anyone except Dogday. Bobby mostly respects this except in moments of joy where she just hugs whoever is closest and frequently it happens to be Catnap.

Everyone besides Picky and Kickin have monstrous sweet tooth’s to the point where if you locked them in a bakery overnight it will be cleared out by morning.

Catnap is nonverbal except around Dogday. If he’s talking to the audience he will speak but it’s like Garfield logic aka no mouth movement and only he will hear it.

Going back to Crafty being messy she once got stuck to a wall because of glue for 2 days. Everyone assumed she was just working on a project that weekend.

(Shipping warning) For the longest time everyone assumed Dogday and Catnap were just friends till Catnap just kissed Dogday on the cheek and everyone went NUTS

Edit cause I just came up with this one: On the night of the Storm a little bit before it hit Catnap are a weird mushroom and gained the ability to put people to sleep. Everyone wanted him to sing a lullaby but didn’t expect a gas attack. He fell asleep a few minutes after his friends.

#my headcanons #poppy playtime #Poppy Playtime chapter 3 #Smiling Critters #Catnap #Dogday #kickinchicken #picky piggy #hoppy hopscotch #bubba bubbaphant #craftycorn #bobby bearhug #catnap x dogday

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funny-crazy-fails-videos2021 · 6 months

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Restaurant-Style Pickled Radish Recipe: Refreshing and Appetizing #trending #trendingshorts

Learn how to make a refreshing and appetizing pickled radish recipe that's perfect for winter. #pickledradish #winterrecipes #food #restaurantrecipe #easyrecipe #refreshing #appetizing #healthy #yummy #delicious #money #real #review #genuine #online #trendingvideo #trending #trendingshorts This recipe is so easy to follow, even beginners can make it! I'll show you how to pickle radishes using a special restaurant technique that results in a flavorful and crunchy pickle. Plus, I'll share some tips on how to store your pickled radishes so that they last for months. Disclaimer: This video is for informational purposes only. Please use caution when handling hot ingredients and sharp knives. Follow all safety instructions when cooking. Hashtags: #pickledradish #winterrecipes #food #restaurantrecipe #easyrecipe #refreshing #appetizing #healthy #yummy #delicious Category: Food Subcategories: Food challenge, street food, food shorts, food vlogs, beard meets food, Chinese food, popi kitchen with village food, eating food, asmr food, best ever food review show, food eating, ding dong girls food challenge, classic mini food, viwa food world, village food channel, food asmr, 5 minute crafts food, food theory, china food, vismai food, spicy food, indian street food, street food india, food recipes, food videos, food eating challenge, people vs food

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tastyfoodinfo · 2 years

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Carrot and Orange Juice for Detox and Beautiful Skin

View On WordPress

#10 hours of food #5 minute crafts food #a tasty food #afood #african food #around me food #Awesome Food #Carrot And Orange

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sca-rian · 1 year

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UPDATES ON RICHARLYSON AND THE BRAZILIANS, FROM CELLBIT'S STREAM (05/03)

i love how this stream started with silly shenanigans and then went to complex lore and back to shenanigans. also VERY long post warning since this is over 6 hours of content

banner art by @spot_desenhador

- they've started project imortalyson, each of them is gonna teach richarlyson important survival skills

- tazercraft is teaching him intimidation skills, forever is furthering teaching him how to rob things and stealth in general, cellbit is teaching combat (due to his past as a killer in minecraft 💀) and felps is teaching him movement and strategy

- tazercraft is building a little football/soccer field so they can play with richarlyson

- chayanne and richarlyson are now best friends :D

- cellbit and felps had their first fight. the reason: cellbit gave felps a banana and felps compared it to foolish's banana. this is an important update

- cellbit is doing richarlyson's daily missions!!!!

- richarlyson's favorite food is tapioca (this is important.)

- cellbit made him a totally edible tapioca

- after 2 hours of stream, they finally start on project imortalyson

- quackity is also giving 1% of training lessons

- ALMOST EVERYONE ON SERVER COMING TO WATCH AND HYPE IT UP?

- this entire sequence is. something. it includes valuable life lessons, bad translations of portuguese sayings ("lower your balls", "breast me" 💀), bobby and richarlyson exchanging insults, parkour, forever beating the bad father allegations

- things get TENSE with the richarlyson/bobby rivalry since bobby kept trying to steal the spotlight and be a nuisance

- as a final test, they followed richarlyson around in a cave until he found his first diamonds

- quackity is apparently trying to get a higher percentage of richarlyson's custody ? stay tuned for updates !

- update: rumor says he has 5% of custody now.... not sure if it's true. forever didn't confirm anything

- cellbit, felps and richarlyson quietly left the cave after quackity started threatening bobby

- RICHARLYSON CRAFTED HIS FIRST DIAMOND PICKAXE 🔥🔥🔥🔥

- they're doing a picnic :) with joyful music playing in the background :) and flowers :)

- richarlyson went to take a nap and cellbit started building his house in the meantime

- cellbit and richarlyson went to see bbh and maximus

- he's getting into the lore 👁 investigation music is playing. maximus is telling cellbit to be careful with quackity because quackity wants to kill all eggs

- cellbit is joining them on investigating what's going on with the island

- (guys cellbit is so excited about this. it's exactly his type of stuff since he used to do vídeos on args and stuff like that. he was also planning on doing something similar himself on the server)

- maximus is showing him the stuff with morse code/cyphers he got from the hacker transmissions and more. cellbit is gonna help them with the cypher

- meanwhile, richarlyson and dapper are getting along well!! :D they were having a little party with sombreros and mexican music

- if you're interested, around after the 4 hour mark, the stream is mostly in english and they talk about the lore and about decoding the cypher from one of the transmissions!!! very cool stuff

- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THEY PUT MINES ON VEGETTAS HOUSE AND WERE PUTTIMG THE BLAME ON CELLBIT??? I HATE IT HERE!!!! apparently maximus plan was to lead cellbit there so he could record him as evidence

- theyre changing it to blame bobby instead 💀

- richarlyson was playing the flute with tallulah :)

- forever keeps dying btw

- cellbit finished his house! hes also to planning a secret bunker under it to work on investigating the server and the transmissions

- quackity showed up and him and cellbit struggled with mines for several minutes. quackitys house is mostly gone.

- cellbit invited quackity to live in the favela with them

- AT THIS POINT IDK HOW MANY EXPLOSIONS WE HAD IN THE LAST 15 MINUTES

- cellbit put richarlyson to bed and played a undertale song while doing it :)

- uhhh apparently i left the stream and something lore relevant happened. cellbit got attacked by something that was definitely not a regular minecraft mob! hahah how funny. it was one of the things with binary code for a nick

i think this was most of the interesting/fun stuff that happened today. sorry for the long post and hopefully it helps some people who want to stay updated with the brazilians!! any extra information/details/translations you guys may want, feel free to send me an ask. or just come talk to me about these guys :)

#qsmp #qsmp br #richarlyson #cellbit #felps #tazercraft #foreverplayerg #foreverplayer #mikethelink #pactw #quackity #long post #boli recaps

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homesweetgoodneighbor · 6 months

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As the holidays speed towards us like a bullet train, here are more ways to support/survive the fiber artist in your life. (You might as well print and save these, because we fiber artists will never learn our lesson.):

DO:

Make them stop each day before they hurt themselves. @gootspatrol made mention of this in a comment and I added it to a reblog, but I want to say it again because it is fucking IMPORTANT. All fiber arts are pretty much repetitive stress injuries waiting to happen. People think our crafts are easy peasy and have no clue that even "easy" things can also injure a body if done too much for too long. Do not work through the pain, folks. It absolutely will come back to haunt you.

Tell them to step back and work on another project if they are getting frustrated with the one they are currently working. I promise you we ALL have multiple projects going. Sometimes a project is just being fucking argumentative, and the situation devolves into such cussing and threats that anyone overhearing will be sure you live with a serial killer. Putting it down and doing another for a while, or at least until that one also becomes the bane of our existence, always helps.

Remind them their bladder exists and isn't meant to be ignored. Yes, I know that sounds silly, but many fiber artists already have ADHD, and we are notorious for ignoring bodily processes. Forgettingto eat is one thing, but much as we'd love to, we can't will our bladders to go away.

From time to time gush at how amazing their project is looking. Your fiber artist will always invariably say "It sucks sweaty donkey balls. I want to set fire to it, but I spent too much damn money on it." Ignore that. They say that because none of us can take compliments. Inside we are squeeing that you noticed. (Note: Be genuine or say nothing at all. We can sense false praise faster than a cat can hear the canned food being opened.)

Be a buffer towards those who do not understand. Tell those who dismiss your loved one's work as anything other than "hard work filled with love" to fuck all the way off. Do feel free to be creative when doing so. You will immediately be a super hero and probably prevent that other person from having their brains ripped out through their nostril by a crochet hook.

DON'T:

Laugh when we say "Next year I will start earlier/make less/buy gift cards instead." Yes, we know we are just kidding ourselves and living in denial. It's a design flaw in a fiber artist's nature. Just hug us and move on.

Have a calendar counting down the days to the holiday they are working towards. Do not even mention time. Doing so will send them spiraling into an almost barbaric berserker frenzy. They will become the whirling dervish of the cartoon Tasmanian devil with fiber and notions being flung about. There is high probability you will be sucked into it and put to work. Unless you feel up to being conscripted into detangling a ramen noodle pile of yarn, sorting thread, or being used as a dress form dummy every ten minutes, just keep your mouth shut.

Play the "Let's mess up their counting by nonchalantly telling a story of our ancestor in 1583 who had 5 goats and worked 50 hours a week and made 100 clocks that told 20 different times..." Look, fiber artists are willing to do something that is so repetitive as to be injurous. Do you think a few more of such actions to turn you into a tasteful decoration will discourage them? Remember: we work with fiber, and a noose is nothing but a bunch of fibers twisted together and tied into a neat knot. Don't fuck with us.

Love y'all! Please take care of yourselves! Be safe and I hope to see lots of pics of finished projects!

#fiber arts #fiber crafts #crochet #knitting #embroidery #sewing #hand sewing #weaving

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bluesest · 2 months

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A Diarrhea Camp

In the "Orange Lake" camp there have always been adventures of all kinds, from wasp chases, to cases where for certain reasons, some campers used to have… stomach problems.

On this occasion a large group of campers arrived at the big green forest, where they will share great moments together. Jeremy was one of these campers, he was the rebel of the group, always looking for a way to get into trouble. On the third day, Jeremy insulted a fellow camper which was heard by the camp guides and as a punishment, he would have to serve the food dishes to the campers of the place.

That's how it all started, he hated having to work when he was supposed to be having fun with his buddies, in short, he was annoyed by the situation. On the first day, almost finishing his shift he overheard two of the campers complaining about the food:

"Wow…is this stuff even edible?"

"Is this supposed to be mashed potatoes?"

"The only thing pure here is how my stomach will end up after eating this."

"Rather, how your diarrhea will turn out after eating this attempt at food."

Hearing this, Jeremy couldn't help but get a feeling, one he had never felt before, it was a mixture of need and the obscene, like a great desire inside his heart that made him start sweating. He thought, "Just imagine how those unusable toilets would end up if any of these guys had an urge."

Night came and he was in his cabin with 5 of the other campers:

"Hey, I don't recommend you go to the bathrooms in this place, they're worse than last year, I'd choose a tree to mark my territory over that attempt at hygiene."

"And when it's your turn to do number two?"

"First of all, it's called shitting, second of all, I wouldn't have a choice to be honest."

Again that feeling came, piercing his chest and making certain parts of his body start to fill with blood. "Do I really like that kind of thing…? Naaahhh… but I should be able to do something to prove otherwise… I have an idea!"

While no one was looking, Jeremy grabbed his backpack and searched through his clothes, "I usually usually put all the medications on my shelf when I leave… Here it is!" Among several capsules he found a hand-sized bottle of a powerful laxative, and if you're wondering why a person would have a big bottle of laxative, well, let's just say our friend has had trouble with unclogging the pipe when he usually eats a lot of junk food.

The next day it was time to execute the plan, he waited for the cooks to be distracted to pour at least a small spoonful of the laxative to each of the dishes, the taste was not going to be a problem because the food itself was disgusting, Jeremy's conscience kicked in and almost caused him to stop his plan, but his desire was stronger, and that's how around 40 campers were intoxicated with laxative.

Once he finished his work, he grabbed a plate of food and sat down with his companions:

"This tastes a little weird than usual, but it's still gross."

"There are lots of activities at camp today: canoe paddling, swimming, a foot race, arts and crafts and among other things, what will you guys be doing?"

This just added more excitement to the matter, many of them would have to cut their activities short because their stomachs wouldn't hold out for long.

Twenty minutes passed and Jeremy was sitting on a log when he spotted a camper in the distance trying to hide the fact that he was carrying a roll of toilet paper in his hand, he was Jeremy's first victim, or at least the first one he could observe.

Slowly he approached him taking care that he didn't see him, surprisingly he got to the bathroom earlier which was because the camper could barely take small steps. When he arrived he saw that the bathroom had only two compartments, it was a typical wooden latrine with a large hole in the floor as a toilet, there are about 10 of these bathrooms around the camp, but even so they were not enough for the large wave of diarrheic young people, Jeremy hid in the second toilet and with a knife he had in his pocket he made a hole that allowed him to see everything that happened in the first latrine and that made it difficult to observe what was happening in the second one from the first toilet.

Finally he hears the first door creaking and being abruptly closed, he hears a small voice: "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!" followed by the sound of the boy's pants strap to then drop his pants, after that the boy was able to free himself:

*PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT* *HSRQQQHRHRHRSQRSRSHRSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSQRSFS FFFFFF*

The first blow was a devastating one, you could tell from afar how he'd been holding that in for a long time.

*GASP* *PPRRRRHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHHS* *PPFFFFFFFFTTT* *SQHHQSHQHQHQ* *PPPFFFFFFFFFFTTTT* *PPPFFFFFFFFTTTT*

The second one violently hit the hole, liters of liquid was expelled from the small anus of the subject that was not enough to expel everything in one blow:

"Why me?!?!?!?!?" *PPPFPFPTTT* *PPPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSSQHHQSHQSHQSHQSHQSHSQHSQH*.

Sobs began to be heard which were confused by the drops of brown liquid coming out of the poor boy, Jeremy was able to fill his desire, but this is not where it ends. Suddenly a knock was heard at Jeremy's cubicle door:

"Hey buddy, excuse me, but have you cleared the bathroom yet? I just really need to go, and to be honest, the guy next door sounds like he's just getting started."

Jeremy took his eyes off the hole, opened the door and answered, "All yours", he was a tall young man with some muscle, his clothes were stuck to him due to sweat, and with a smile he thanked Jeremy obviously not knowing that he was the one who was to blame for his suffering.

The big guy closed the door, Jeremy almost left the place disappointed until he saw a small hole that would allow him to see what was also happening in the second cubicle: He saw how the tall guy started to undress, he was the type of person who undresses to go to the bathroom when it is something urgent, Jeremy managed to see part of the guy's penis before his ass fell into the toilet:

*PPPPPPFFTFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT* *PSSSSSSSS*.

The first blow was weak compared to that of the previous person, who by the way was still expelling large amounts of poop in embarrassment as he knew a new person entered with the same problem:

*PSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PPFFFFFFFTTT* *PLOP*.

The second hit was somewhat disappointing for Jeremy, apparently this guy was having a bad constipation, he was about to leave to find other campers until a big noise made him stay:

*PPPSFFFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *HQSHHSQHQHHSHHSHHSHSSSSSS* *PSPSPSPSSHSHSHHHHSHSHSHSHSSS* *PLOP* *PFFFTFTTT* *PLOP* *PRRRRRRRRRR* "Aghhhh!"

The smell hit him all at once, a mixture of bread and meat with a hint of pepper, the man managed to unclog his pipe and managed to release a third shocking wave as the first person had already finished and proceeded to clean himself up Tall: "Uffffffff I really did have to get rid of a couple of extra pounds…wait a minute…I FORGOT TO BRING PAPER…*KNOCK* *KNOCK* hey, I know you're in there, could you lend me some paper? I really need to clean up the mess I have on my butt."

Shy: "ummmm… Ok… but don't finish it all, I'm afraid this is a… diarrhea."

Tall: "Don't worry, I have more in my backpack, just let me know when you want to hit the porcelain again."

Shy: "That would be strange…"

Tall: "In another context yes, but come on, we both heard and smelled what was going on in each other's toilet, we're like bathroom bros!"

Shy: "Well… do you want to go paddling after this… with me?"

Tall: "Sure, why not, I don't have many friends around here either."

Those words reminded Jeremy of one of the other activities which would be interesting for his new hobby: canoe paddling, just the thought of a person having an emergency in a place surrounded by water and the only way out is using brute force which raises the risk of causing an anal leak, is something that fascinated Jeremy. As he left the area he saw that very few campers were around, that was a sign that most were already affected and that only those with strong stomachs were not affected, even so sooner or later they would all fall.

As he made his way to the lake he could see the start of the foot race that he heard in the cafeteria, there were 5 contestants, all of them were sweaty, but only one had a worried face, apparently 4 of them had already used the bathroom and the sweat remained as a souvenir. The camper was wearing a yellow sleeveless shirt with tight black shorts that exposed his well polished legs.

The guide started the race, the one in the yellow shirt that we will call as "Runner" was in first place, apparently his urgency gave him the strength to explode his legs and want to finish the race as soon as possible, not even Jeremy taking shortcuts could catch him, so he followed him with his eyes, after 5 minutes the runner reached the finish line but he did not stop there and kept running, in the distance Jeremy could distinguish something between the runner's legs, a big lump, Jeremy decided to chase him again, he could even see how liquid diarrhea began to drip out of the shorts: a big lump, Jeremy decided to chase it again, he could even see how liquid diarrhea started to drip out of the shorts.

The runner arrived at his destination and after 1 minute Jeremy arrived too, while the runner was making a huge effort to take off his tight shorts without causing a mess, Jeremy took advantage of his urgency and opened a hole with the razor to observe what was going on inside: he saw how an agitated camper with big legs was undressing and with the speed that made him win the race he made his ass reach his own finish line:

The first wave was brutal, the smell was starting to permeate Jeremy's eyes, but also permeating the great view of what of the biggest asses Jeremy has ever seen in his life.

*PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPS* *SQSHHSHQSHQSHSQHSHQHSHQHSHQHHS* *GASP* *PPPFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PSPPSPSPSPSPSPSPSHHHHHHHHHH* *SQSHHSQHHSHQSHQSHQSHQSHQS*

The second wave did not disappoint, so strong was the smell that Jeremy's eyes began to water and in his mind he said, "someone ate a lot of garlic today, didn't he?"

*PPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP*

By the third, things had calmed down, Jeremy pulled his face out of the hole, wiped his eyes with a handkerchief and set out to continue with his original plan: go to the lake.

There was only one person already in the lake, a brunette person wearing a swimsuit, he looked ridiculous wearing that knowing he wouldn't touch the water, but Jeremy was not one to judge as he was doing worse.He approached the dock and in the distance he saw how the "swimmer" started hugging his stomach, Jeremy imagined that sporty body squeezed by that blue suit and when he saw him heading towards a secluded shore, Jeremy set out to run just to reach to hide and get a better view of the swimmer's butt. It wasn't easy but he finally got there before him, he positioned himself in a small bush as the canoe was parked:

Swimmer "Oh my god, the toilets are too far away and… I don't think I can hold on… shit."

*PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT* *PPPFFFFFFFFFTTTT* *PPPFRRTRTRTRR* *PPPFRRTRTRTRR*

A machine gun of farts was coming out of that tight ass, with force and desperation the swimmer started to quickly take off that suit exposing that under that suit was hiding a nice ass, he barely managed to free his ass and started to shit without even squatting down:

*PFPDPDPDPDPPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPPS* *PPFPFFTFTFTFTTFTF* *PPDPSPSPSPSPSPSPS*

They were wet farts coming out forcefully as they were inundated by waves of violent diarrhea, it had a dark color and stank pretty bad.

*PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRP* *PSPSPSPPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSSSSSSS* *PRPPRPRPRPRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PRPPRPRPRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSS*

Followed the liquid, there was no trace of any solid material, the frequency of the farts was going down, but they were much louder, at this part the camper could barely squat:

*PPFFFFFFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTF* *RPPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *QSHQSHHSHQSHQSHSHHQHQSHQHSHSHSHS* *PPFFFTFTTTT* *PPFFFTTTT*

An even more powerful jet made the swimmer tremble causing him to nearly lose his balance and fall into his own fecal material. Finally, the poor camper finished and wiped his butt with the lake water hoping no one had seen him.

Jeremy seeing that the swimmer left was ready to return to his cabin and rest from the marathon he ran all day, but something strange, in the mud of the forest he saw footsteps, a trace of someone walking through the forest and so far did not return, Jeremy exhausted did not miss the opportunity and also went into the forest.

5 minutes was the time Jeremy was walking among the big trees, he was about to return when he heard some moans, when he looked out he saw another camper sweating, walking and hugging his stomach, so Jeremy decided to deviate from the dirt road and hid in the trees following the lost camper.

He looked exhausted and dizzy, he stopped for a second and changed his route next to a tree, defeated, he slowly dropped his pants leaving his somewhat flat butt in the air:

*PPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT*. It was just a dry fart, apparently yet another one who is constipated.

Slowly a monumental poop made its way out, it was so big that it couldn't easily pass through the poor boy's anus:

*SQHHQSHSHSHSHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH* *SPLASH*.

Finally, it fell leaving the way free for:

Shit was falling and exploding as it hit the ground, many flies around started to approach the boy which made the situation more uncomfortable:

*PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PPPPPPPFFTTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PQSPSPQSPQSPQSPSSSHHSHSGSS* *PFFFFFFFFFFFT* *GASP*.

Camper: "I think… I'll stay in camp…"

He slowly took several sheets and wiped his bottom, they were rough but worked well for the situation. After leaving, Jeremy walked over to the pile of shit and admired it by touching a certain part of his body.

Upon arriving back at camp, his friends told him the news that several campers had severe diarrhea.

#diarrhea #farts #coprophilia #desesperation #laxative #campement #chef

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 3 months

Text

I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE - DiscoPunk

Hobie x DiscoSpider!Diane have a normal, calm night on the town. 'The usual', if you will.

--------------

Hobie, trying to be the reasonable one here: Di-dove, you're plastered. We need to get your arse home, get your co-

Diane, screaming Hobies own lyrics in his face in a bad British accent because someone gave her six pints of beer:

If he hears her say 'Oi' one more time he's gonna scream 😭😭 This is why he can't take her to punk bars.

Pint 1 and she's acting like 'she's never drank this much before'. Or how she 'usually don't like beer'. Hobie has to resist rolling his eyes. He knows better.

'Now ain't that the perfect lie.'

Pint 2, she's trying to arm wrestle every guy who looks even remotely in her direction. Hobie has to start telling the guys to tell her no cause she'll end up hurting them 😭😭. It's as of she forgets she has GREAT POWER that comes with the great responsibility of not breaking dudes wrists cause you got too overexcited about winning.

Pint 3, she starts gaining a Liverpool accent for some reason that will stay the rest of the night. Now she's so drunk she keeps telling people she was born in Manchester (no where near Liverpool) and Hobie has to tell people that she means Manhattan. Not Manchester. She was born in Manhattan.

Everytime he does, she goes 'Oh, yeah!!' in her actually accent before breaking into laughter.

Pint 4, she starts doing that thing where she waves him aside and leans in his ear to yell

"YOU LOOK SO HAWT!!"

She did this roughly every five or ten minutes. He'll ask 'You gonna say the same thing?' she says no. He leans in. She says the same thing. 😭😭

Sometimes it'll be too loud to hear her. Or he'll be too drunk himself, or that shitty accent she's putting on is just That Bad so it's just them standing there going

'Huh?' - 'I SAID you look so hot!!!' - 'You what???' - 'You look really hot right now!!' - 'You want to smoke pot right now?' - 'NO! Well, YES. BUT I SAID-'

On and on and on.

Pint 5, she's just fucking missing.

Pint 6, she's back (she was at the TESCO stealing). She now wants to arm wrestle HIM. Also she wants to go home now cause the food she stole is nasty and she wants him to cook for her.

He already says he will cause for fucks sake it 3:30 he wants to go home 😭😭 He's like 'I'll cook you whatever-'

And for some reason she finds the words to moving she almost starts to cry. Reportedly cause 'I love you and I'm so fucking hungry'.

---------

'I want a Kraft dinner. Make me a Kraft dinner.'

'You gonna explain to me what that is?' Hobie asked, watching as Diane stumbled over to his couch, tossing herself on it in a heap.

Had she not been able to literally stick to the floor, he almost doubted she'd make it, the gently sway of the houseboat an enemy of nausea.

'Explain what?' she mumbled, face down in the cushions.

'Kraft Dinner.'

Diane popped her head up. 'You have some?'

'I don't know what 'some' is, Di. You have to explain it.'

'Explain what?'

'Diane, I'm too drunk for this.'

'Drunk for what?! You're making no sense!'

'Kraft Dinner!'

'What about it?!'

'What the bloody hell does that mean?!'

'Oh!!! Dinner means supper.'

'...'

'DIANE I KNOW WHAT DINNER MEANS'.

'Then what are you asking me?'

'What's Kraft?? Witchcraft??? You want me to conjure you up a meal like a spell? Want me to craft you a dinner like I'm crafting a sword? 😭😭'

'What are you bugging for??!! I asked for food! Why are you talking like a old timey orphan!!??'

'And WHY!!! ARE THE TWO OF YOU YELLING ABOUT MACARONI!!! AT 4 AM!!!' Gwen yells from upstairs.

#JUST GIVE HER THE MAC N CHEESE #Hobie is a Heinz man #His beans his ketchup his Mac n cheese #ALL HEINZ #this could be considered platonic or romantic tbh #spiderman #atsv #spider man #marvel #across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #hobie brown x oc #hobie x oc #discopunk #spidersona #spidersonas

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