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ultimateshixiongfuckertournament · 2 months

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Noncanonicals Tournament FINAL

This final is between Han Ying from Word of Honor (shizun/mentor: Zhou Zishu) and Fang Duobing from Mysterious Lotus Casebook (shizun/mentor: Li Xiangyi / Li Lianhua)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Han Ying:

He idolized and was mentored by Zhou Zishu to the point of recruiting other young martial artists to revive ZZS’s dying sect and willing to die live happily ever after for it.

#han ying wants to fuck zhou zishu SO BAD#han ying#shizunfucker tournament

#my sweet ying'er wants to fuck zzs so bad he's gagging for it

#HAN YING HANDS DOWN#would have licked his boots if he asked

#han ying wanted nothing more than to officially become zzs's student/part of his sect#it was literally his dying wish that his brothers in arms may get to do that#he says several times in the show to zzs's very face that he's 100% down for dying for him#he swears allegiance EXCLUSIVELY to zzs and not the prince they're all serving#he comes up with bangers like 'if there is anything you need I will lay down my life with no regret'#'if you were gone one day how could I live alone'#'a loyal servant wouldn't have two masters in his life'#he sneaks into zzs's abandoned residence and homoerotically-#-strokes the painting of a flower that symbolizes a) zzs himself b) zzs's grief for being the lone survivor of his sect#and he wanted to join siji so so badly#it was his life's dream and he died IN siji but before getting to have that 😭#listen he makes me insane#anyway they should have fucked sloppy style and zzs would have had an out of body experience if hy called him shizun#my final thesis goodbye

#it's HAN YING#you could power entire nations with the power of that yearning

#han ying saw zhou zishu and IMMEDIATELY dropped to his knees are you joking#wen kexing immediately clocked him

#ying'er my sweet prince#he wants the dick so badly

Fang Duobing:

Fang Duobing has most definitely had several fantasies of being dommed by his shifu Li Xiangyi! He is also equally invested in marrying Li Lianhua - travelling the jianghu, going on rooftop moonlit dates, incorporating looking after him forever and ever into his general future plans. This is even before he knows that Li Lianhua and Li Xiangyi are the same person. Oh there are Layers to the shizunfucking. Where's that post about being so devoted to someone that it breaks the pedestal they're put on and comes full circle to loving them for the person they are? (its here: https://www.tumblr.com/difeisheng/733133489565745152/the-core-of-fanghua-is-built-around-fang-duobings) When they finally do get to know each other 10 years later, after Li Xiangyi's identity is found out, Fang Duobing insists on being equals rather than master-and-disciple! Li lianhua is Fang Duobing’s guide in the Jianghu! He leaves his house, dog and the only records of his unique martial arts to Fang Duobing before running away!! Fang Duobing’s most important agenda is to save Li Lianhua from slow death by poison!!! He doesn't care if Li Lianhua keeps leaving him behind and lying to him and is 'at peace' with dying!! They live together. They'll never be equals. They've been equals all along. They're zhiji. They're master and disciple. they're married. They're everything.

#this man wanted to fuck his shizun under two whole ass different identities#this man was given one million choices between his shizun and his entire cushy rich boi life and did not sweat the decision even once#this man was engaged to a princess - who was COOL - and went “no thanks i’d rather follow shizun around in a fantasy china airstream’

#this cannot not be fang duobing let's be serious#polls#he's been drawing hearts around his shizun's name since age 8

#Fang Duobing going through it for what he thinks is two different people but is just one guy#so he gets my vote easy

#pls he is head employee at shizunfucker.co

#han ying #fang duobing #word of honor #mysterious lotus casebook #zhou zishu #li lianhua #li xiangyi

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oldfarmhouse · 7 months

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#mudroom #sunny room #happy design #https://lynneknowlton.com

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babykeats · 7 months

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✵°✵.｡.✰ stardust baby ✰.｡.✵°✵

#bohovibes #indie #travel #adventure #wanderlust #tiny home #cozy #camper #camperlife #camper life #caravan #airstream #tiny living #alternative home #alternative living

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cerebellam · 1 year

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I'll give you a request :DDD

Older Ash finding out his partner is pregnant??

Lowkey thank you for this because I absolutely LOVE this trope. Wasn’t sure if you wanted fluff or angst so I went for a little of both? (Also a little appetizer while I still work on the next chapter of Something Worth Living For). Hope you enjoy!

Request: Older Ash finding out his partner is pregnant

Word Count: 1.1k

Warning(s): language, pregnancy, angst, fluff

You stared blankly at the not one, not two, but five plastic sticks that lay before you on the tiny sink of the Airstream. There was no doubt about it. You were knocked up.

You swallowed nervously, quickly glancing away from the positive tests and up to your own reflection in the mirror. You had been trying to push away the telltale signs, but somewhere deep down you knew had a sinking suspicion. You had been nauseous the past few weeks and thought maybe you had been gaining a little weight from eating too many pancakes from the diner (after all, what life on the road was healthy?) Not to mention the fact that you and Ash haven’t exactly been careful the past few weeks. You both had cheated death one too many times and were both so happy to make it out alive, that…well. Here you were.

Oh, God. What were you going to do? Speaking of a not healthy life on the road, this surely was no life for a baby. You fought literal demons from Hell.

You suddenly felt your heart stop and almost drop down to your feet as something even scarier crossed your mind.

What would Ash think about all of this? He surely didn’t want kids…right? He was considerably older than you and was practically a big kid at heart himself. There was no way. What would you tell him?

Thankfully, you wouldn’t have to think long about this predicament. You were interrupted from your thoughts as you heard the front door swing open.

“Hey doll, what’s shakin’?” the tall, dark, and handsome man you had come to know as your lover called out and strolled into the airstream, sighing as he unstrapped the gun belt from his chest. He tossed it to the floor and plopped down onto the couch with an audible sigh.

You slowly exited the bathroom, trying your best to keep your cool. You managed a smile and approached him with whatever courage you could muster up.

He smiled upon your entrance into the room, reaching out his robotic hand to you. You gingerly took his gesture. He pulled you down to his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Mmm, I missed you today,” he breathed into your chest, nuzzling softly against your neck. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close.

“Looks like someone missed me today too.”

Your grip remained strong as you continued to hold him close to you.

“Baby?”

His classic term of endearment for you now almost made you freeze and filled you with a new kind of fear. He managed to gently break away from you, his hand immediately reaching up to cradle your face.

“Hey, what is it?”

You couldn’t hide the tears that began to well in your eyes. You quietly bit your lip, worrying the flesh between your teeth. You searched the poor man’s face, his warm eyes filled with concern as he waited for you to answer him.

“Ash, I’m pregnant,” you blurted, the words flooding from your mouth before you could even stop them.

Ash’s expression went blank, almost emotionless as he paused. All color had drained from his face, an unnatural pallor crossing his chiseled features. Your heart pounded in your chest like a jackhammer as you waited for a response. His chocolate eyes bore into yours intensely and unwavering, and you suddenly felt the most vulnerable you had ever felt.

“Ash, please say something,” you whispered.

His jaw slackened, a sense of unease washing over you.

“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you. I thought you said that you were-”

You swallowed, your stare pleading.

“I did.”

Then seemingly out of nowhere, he let out a loud, single chuckle, the sudden response almost making you jump. He rumbled beneath you. You quickly crawled off his lap and sat next to him. Without much change in the utter shock of his expression, he stood quickly and paced to the other side of the Airstream.

“No, no, no. No way, if I learned anything in life it’s to always wrap it. To ‘don’t be silly, wrap your willy.’ Wear a raincoat when it rains. Glove it before you love it-“

“Ash!” You stood, interrupting his ramble of how many descriptive phrases he could list of putting on a damn condom.

You honestly didn’t know what to say. You wish you did. You were hoping his reaction would’ve been…well, more. You had secretly hoped he would’ve known what to do. It certainly takes two to tango and that’s sure as hell how you both ended up here.

He was quick to sigh. “Shit…I…that wasn’t the best reaction to that, was it?” He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

You hadn’t noticed it, but the tears were spilling down your cheeks now. Your face burned red hot.

“You don’t think I’m scared, Ash? This is terrifying…and I just fought a biker bar full of fucking demons last Thursday. That’s saying something, for Christ’s sake!”

He crossed back over to you, holding you close and wiping the tears from your cheek.

“Please don’t cry…I’m just…shocked, is all. Didn’t realize my swimmers were still in Olympic shape.”

You managed a breathy laugh, your head quickly hanging to stare at the floor. God, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole. Well, maybe not, given your hellish track record.

His next questions surprised you.

“Is this…what you want?”

You thought for a moment, and what supposed you, even more, was how quickly you had an answer.

“I…I think I do. I mean, I know this life isn’t ideal for this, and it’s selfish but…I want this Ash. I want this with you.”

And that was the truth.

It was Ash’s turn to stare at the floor now, the usually confident and boisterous man appearing timorous and uneasy before you.

“Baby, I’m an old man. I’m not so sure someone like me can…do something like this.”

Every so often, you could see Ash’s insecurity at his age. This was one of those moments. He knew he was getting older. Hell, no one was fooled by the black hair dye. But you loved him regardless, and he still saved you and the whole fuckin’ world every time.

“To be fair, you didn’t think you could be El Jefe, either…but here you are. And besides,” you rested your hands on his biceps, giving them a light squeeze, “if we can kill the dead and save the world…I think we can handle a baby.”

That’s when you saw Ash smile from ear to ear.

“A baby…My babydoll is havin’ a baby…We’re having a baby.”

You nodded, pulling him tight to you in an embrace.

“Goddamn, I love you,” he murmured against your skin.

You smiled. “And I love you, Ash Williams.”

#ask #ash williams x reader #evil dead #ash williams #ash williams reader insert #ash vs evil dead #bruce campbell #evil dead fanfic #request #requests

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talltalesandbedtimestories · 6 months

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“Let You Off With A Warning” - Beau Arlen x Reader

Part of the “Guardian of the Gulch” Series

Rating Teen

Beau Arlen x Reader (eventually)

Tags: Fluff and Flirting

Word Count: 1900

There's a new sheriff in town. And he just so happens to have parked his RV in your campgrounds. What's a park ranger to do with all that Texas charm strutting around on a fine pair of bow legs?

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo and this part will fill my "Food as Bonding" square.

Image created in Canva (credit for photo used: ABC/Michael Moriatis)

Corey’s eyes are ready to roll right out of his eye sockets. He slumps over the counter, office phone pressed tight to his ear.

“Absolutely.” He enunciates every syllable. “Yes. I can see how that would be quite an intrusion.” Those stubby fingers snap to get your attention.

You’re finishing up your checklist after vehicle patrol. When did fireworks become an every night of the week event for days prior to the Fourth? The annoyance can become dangerous in Black Sandy State Park. Especially when bored kids and drunk adults get it in their heads to light things on fire on campgrounds during drought conditions. You’re figuring that’s what the call’s about. Things had been relatively quiet so far that night.

You had hoped they were going to stay that way. All you wanted to do was clock out in the next five minutes, get home, and catch up on “The Bachelor” episodes filling up space on your DVR.

“We’ll have someone head over and take care of it.” Corey smiles at you.

You groan back at your Park Manager. You’re the only other someone.

You head to the campsite that phoned the office first. It’s a husband and wife with a large brood. They’ve got every creature comfort under the sun - or in this case, moonlight - in their parcel paradise by Hauser Lake. The Class A motorhome makes you wonder what kind of house they left behind.

The wife is the one running her mouth at you even though the husband had called to lodge the complaint. You try to wrap your head around the noise she’s harping about and how it’s possibly bothering the four kids. All of the children are laser-focused on handheld devices. They don’t even look up when mom asks them to corroborate how annoying the sound from their neighbor is.

If you had your way, you’d block all WiFi access in every part of Black Sandy.

After the requisite pleasantries, you turn and trudge through the shadows to the lodger who’ll be getting a talking to. Though not the talk Mrs. Devonshire is expecting.

You adjust the cap on your head. The voice emerging from one solitary speaker is muffled and mono on your approach. The silver Airstream is curvy and sleek. A standout that manages to sparkle even in the dark.

Its owner sits in a lawn chair. He’s watching some old time western projected onto a white sheet tautly stretched between two poles.

His eyes have cottoned on to your movement seconds ago, you're sure of it. His day job requires him to be hyper aware of his surroundings at all times.

“To what do I owe the honor of a house call this late, Ranger? Raccoon invasion? Dump station on the fritz?” He stands to greet you. An open beer dangles from his fingertips.

“Nothing that exciting, Sheriff.” The Bachelor’s got nothing on this specimen. The handful of times you’ve crossed paths, you are never quite prepared to be in this man’s presence.

“I’m not on duty. Call me Beau, remember?” He grins to confirm the allowance of such informality.

You sigh. “Afraid I am on duty. And have to request a favor.”

He nods and tilts his head over to the Devonshires. “Let me guess? I’ve done something to upset Linda.”

You raise an eyebrow. “How’d you know?”

“I had her figured out as soon as she waltzed over to introduce herself bright and early this morning before I left for work.” His lids widen in emphasis. “Ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Is she about to release the kraken?”

You chuckle. “Just turn down the volume on your movie a smidge, please.” You pinch two fingers together. “We’ve never had a complaint about you before, so no worries. We’ll let you off with a verbal warning this time.” You grin.

He’s amused at that. “Mighty kind of ya. Well, let me do it right in front of you, so you can put it down in your incident report.” He strolls over to the speaker and dials down the knob. “Perpetrator immediately complied with the request.” He announces, a little on the loud side. “In case Linda’s watching.”

You stifle a laugh. “I’m guessing she doesn’t know you’re the Sheriff of Lewis and Clark County?”

He shakes his head. “How would she? I don’t think I got five words in this morning.” He lifts the lid of a green cooler with the toe of his cowboy boot, bends down and pulls out another beer bottle. He has a bounce in his step on his way back to you. “But, you know, I don’t reckon it would’ve even mattered. She still would’ve had Larry make the call.”

“How’d you know Larry called?”

He shrugs and offers you the beer. “Lucky guess.”

You wave a hand. “On duty, remember?”

A tip of his wrist has him checking his watch. “You getting paid time and a half? It’s almost nine.”

You smile at how well he catalogs information and smooth talks with all that easy Texas charm. By your second run-in with him he’d found out your work schedule and how important it was for you to stick to it. He even had you fess up, somehow, to your penchant for reality TV, especially shows of the love competition variety. You grab the beer and twist off the top. The beer tingles down your throat in a welcome swallow. “It’s all your fault I’m still here.”

“Well, then, let me make it up to you. Sit a spell.” Before you can register, he’s snapped open another lawn chair near his own. He presents it with a flourish.

“I guess I should hang around for a bit. Make sure you don’t get yourself in more trouble.” The chair settles into the dirt under your weight.

“Not the first time it’s been suggested I need a chaperone.” He sits alongside you.

You nod at the movie. “What’re you watching?”

He stares at you, disheartened. “Really?”

“I don’t do westerns.”

“Pale Rider. Clint Eastwood. It’s a classic.” His head shakes. “Kids today.”

You scoff. “Kid?”

“You can’t be more than 25,” he states with complete earnestness.

“You don’t need to butter me up, Beau. I already said you’d get off on a warning.”

“How about some bribery then, just to ensure nothing ends up on my permanent record.” He nudges a bowl on the tiny circular table in your direction.

It’s hard to make out the contents. You squint. Light from the projector brightens up the scene for a moment. “Oh, you found them.” You pull out a cherry and tug at the fruity flesh between your teeth to release the stem.

“I did. Saw ‘em at a farmer’s market in town. You were right. Flathead cherries are amazing.”

“Hm.” You concur and indulge in the sweetness. “So good.”

Beau snickers. “You two need some alone time?”

“So good,” you repeat. “First pick of the season reminds you of what you’ve been missing all year.”

He nods and grabs a couple for himself. “That’s what the guy at the stand was spoutin’.”

Beau Arlen has only been the sheriff for a few weeks. But you agree with the assessment that most have of him. He’s an affable and acceptable substitute while Walter Tubb recuperates. Arlen’s smart and ingratiates himself easily with everyone in the county. He knows those that keep things running in Helena by their first names already. And as you are someone that secures and protects a part of state land in the county under his jurisdiction– well, you get to share a beer and some cherries with him tonight.

The conversation is light and dances about with no rhyme or reason.

“What’s your favorite meal to eat back home?” He asks with great interest. With an angling of his head upward, he shoots a cherry pit out of his mouth like a mini cannonball into the shadows. You think he’s intentionally aiming in the direction of the Devonshires. “Like, the kind that needs your undivided attention?”

“Easy. Grilled salmon and roasted asparagus with mashed potatoes.”

Beau takes a swig. “Found anything comparable here?”

“Not yet. Doubtful it’ll be anything close to what I could get back home in Oregon.” You course correct and try not to be too hard on the place you’ve called home for the past two years. “But, you can fish a decent dinner out on the lake.” You thumb at the water behind the trailer. “The trout and perch are tasty.”

“I haven’t gotten around to fishing in Hauser yet.” He sighs.

“Seems like every time I turn on the local news, something major is going on in the area. Most of it ain’t good.”

“Tell me about it. I thought this would be a slow drip favor of a job for a friend. I was saying to Hoyt today that a dam holding back all the crime must’ve burst as soon as I got here.”

You make a note to give Jenny Hoyt a call. You haven’t hung out with her or Cassie in a bit. It’s time to catch up and get all the details you can about the new sheriff in town. “Well, what crime has Helena committed when it comes to your favorite meal back home?”

“Oh.” Beau’s lips flap as he releases air from his lungs. “Haven’t found a good T-bone yet. Tried grilling a couple myself but I don’t know, just not the same. What I wouldn’t do for a melt in your mouth steak with some buttered corn on the cob and a baked potato topped with sour cream and chives.” He licks his lips with a far away stare.

You grin at how fond his expression is over the memory. You kind of wish he’d stare at you like that for even a second.

Some soft pops ricochet in the night air. You both sit up at the sound.

“Fireworks.” Beau states. You nod and then wait to see if anything can be seen in the distance lighting up the sky. It quiets again after some seconds. “You better get home before you can never leave,” Beau decides. You open your mouth to protest. He only shakes his head and cuts you off. “Hey, if Corey’s got something to say about it, just tell him the sheriff can pinch hit if he needs backup.”

You smile. “Not sure if that’ll fly coming from me.”

“Then you tell him to call me if he needs confirmation.” He nods and this time the smile he gives you is fond and, dare you think it, a bit flirty. “Besides, you’ve got a bachelor waiting for you at home, doncha?”

The laugh bubbles out of you. “I doubt he’ll be any better company.” You purse your lips at the confession that gave more of your thoughts away than intended.

He stills at the compliment and takes it in for a long beat. The smile that curls up is soft and sweet. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” You rise and leave the half drunk beer on the table.

Beau rises as well, always the gentleman.

“Have a good night.” You hurry out the words to match your steps.

You don’t dare turn to look back at the sheriff. You can’t stop grinning like a giddy school girl.

His voice, low and warm in the summer night, draws out, “You have a good night as well.” He adds, “Ranger.”

#jacklesversebingo23 #beau arlen x reader #fanfic #fluff #flirting

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