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sulcrafatejackets · 2 years

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Well dang so if TJ Health Pavilion presses charges against me because they’re afraid for their life because apparently a person who has severe health problems that are not being addressed by monkeys that’s a very threatening thing to you guys three of you are just our is it everybody I don’t know it seems like they get in a really tight net work at the pavilion the receptionist and everybody just join into this very anti-human behavior they sit around and talk about peoples conditions all day long and everything else the medical doctors there real pieces of shit

A person who is a public figure is a frightening thing because she doesn’t own a gun even though she can buy a gun she doesn’t carry a knife even though she could carry a knife and should carry a knife she doesn’t even carry pepper spray because of that thing that happened when she was eight years old seven years old eight years old now now I was eight yeah that’s so scary Doctors I can see that 5 foot one 100 pounds dealing with osteoarthritis or a misaligned back dealing with classism dealing with sexism from you motherfuckers and I am going to mess up Dr. Christopher but you know what here’s the funny thing is that actually yeah Dr. Ken is going to mess Dr. Barringer up and Dr. Barringer I don’t think he’s going to live I just have a bad feeling you guys that’s one of those who saying things he thinks he’s being a goddamn funny motherfucker and he’s not who sang is that what you said is there an Indian joke is that a pistachio joke that I haven’t heard doctor? Why don’t you go fuck your fucking idiot self go back to Florida besides I have a doctor down there who already wants to cut your fucking face off

#Dr.JamesHeltsley #LieutenantColonelDoctorJamesChickenBabyRapistHeltsley

My ears … Jesus

Oh also you guys that Betty Jean woman that mafia lady that works for Brian? Do you know the one with the false teeth

Oh I was supposed to leave Bryant in there because that was the ironic joke I understand well Betty Jean keeps bothering me with spam messages oh she’s one of those is it suggested than that if it’s a Nelliebell Bettijean situation that they’re being forced to molest or rape people

There’s a possibility to it but if they want their freedom they will write out the medical doctors

And besides why is Betty Jean messaging me with these weird text messages and shit about like photos of me on some kind of photo booth thing or something what is that Betty Jean like it was like stock images or some shit

And then he decides that he wants to call the Pepper Pike Police Department on me and they are calling me so much that I already know that they are trafficking little babies among other disgusting things but the FBI is watching that as well

You see officers this is not a situation for your egos to be out of control this is a situation where you need to sit the fuck down shut the fuck up and figure out how you’re going to get out of life imprisonment for trafficking those children in Ohio Pepper Pike Police Department harassing bastard son of a bitches

You could’ve just left me the fuck alone and I might’ve actually thought that you were a person who did police work instead of being a harassing white male as usual fuck yourselves

But Brian is so much smarter than you he says so much smarter I don’t think he is I think that he and James Heltsley both feel really really scared

Is Ricky OK?

Oh Catherine I don’t know if you’re familiar with Ricky Perkins or not it’s a very very important situation and I think that Dr. Brian might’ve been laughing yesterday but we really really need to make sure that these kids are being watched and taken care of because these doctors are going to try to kill the rest of us traffic survivors I mean

#Ricky Perkins #Christopher behringer do #brian harmych md #doctor Ken #TJ Health Pavilion #Racism #Doctors are watching you doctors #And telling the FBI #Tick-tock

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lesbianspeedy · 5 months

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#u literally cant tell me ollie doesnt have connors contact pic as that baby photo u cant #originally the fbi one was barry but i didnt want to piss of his four (4) fans #green arrow #arrow shitposts #also originally i implied mia blew up the house but yknow. shes innocent actually

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the-real-list-of-ominous-threats · 6 months

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I'm going to force you to play the joke FNAF dating sim my friend and I are making

#by 'making' i mean i brought the idea up as a joke this afternoon and then we got really really into it and wrote a bunch of concepts up #i think we're actually going to do it #dear god #(we decided the routes will be Henry #Will #Mike (corpse version)#and Springtrap #NO ANIMATRONICS THOSE ARE CHILDREN #(at least the fnaf 1 animatronics are)#we thought up a joke ending where if you try and hit on the animatronics the FBI arrests you #read the tags #fnaf #if anyone wants to hear about this. tell me. i am Eager to share the concepts.#we don't know what to call it #right now the doc we're writing the script on is called 'uh oh spaghettios peepaw mode'#and obviously we can't call it that #i wanted to call it Five Nights With Divorced Dads #but Mike isnt a divorced dad

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swampthingking · 19 days

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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

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heywriters · 3 months

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i swear, i can't even find things on youtube anymore. used to be you heard a song in a trailer, looked up the trailer, and someone in the comments already knew the song. now i look up the trailer and YT only gives me three "what we know" and "easter eggs you missed!" videos and then cuts the results with "people also watched" i don't care what other people watch? i want what i searched for?

#youtube gone to the dogs #anyway if anyone can tell me which cover of “happy together” by the turtles was used in “the fbi” trailer i saw i'd appreciate it #old man yells at cloud #ooooh and on top of that #the most viewed video it brings you will have every word you could possibly search for in the title #but it's just a badly edited “fan” video aimed at luring in views

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rabbiteclair · 4 months

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i think light novels are really going somewhere

#this is probably where someone goes 'ashley didn't you know that Chillin In My 30s was the anime of the year last year'#'they filmed the president jacking off to it. the FBI did. for national morale. it's that good'#'that's actually the only thing they show on TV anymore. the president video I mean. that part is admittedly kind of weird'#'why is that even a power the FBI has. does this fall under their mandate'#people are always telling me about joe biden cranking his hog when i talk about anime #i'm used to it. you're nothing special #these tags really got away from me. i need to be in bed

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leotanaka · 9 months

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JUGHEAD REALLY GOT CHERYL TO TAKE A PHOTO OF HIM POSING WITH A BOMB AND THEN HAD THAT PICTURE USED ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER OMG!

#jughead jones #riverdale #riverdale spoilers #i need to know if they both did this and who's idea it was if they did and #if it was jughead who wanted this image how on earth did he convince cheryl to take that picture lol #also jughead literally said that the fbi & army took credit but obviously they didn't if they used that image to tell everyone what happene #he has always been an unreliable narrator...

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cubikzoa · 9 months

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I am 97% sure that Hannibal Lecter owns the boba shop I just visited and I am a bit concerned

#text #Irl stuff #…have I just stumbled into a Hannigram cafe au by accident #aND THE DEER IS WEARING HIS THERAPIST SUIT WHAT #Irl stories #The boba was good but now I am worried that the boba was Somehow Made Of People #“Hello yes I’ll have the Chilton’s Tapioca Eyeballs dri—wtf why is it called that???”#The mural has weird brain patterns in the background???? In all seriousness why would this be the decor choice for a boba shop lol #fannibals #fannibal family #hannibal crack #Hannibal fandom #hannibal nbc #hannigram cafe au real and canon #Hannibal Lecter #Will Graham #If I vanish for not leaving a good tip tell the FBI to check the boba freezer case #Hannibal au? I guess???#Hannibal memes #Hannigram memes #Boba shop #“He would not do this” yes he would it’s a compromise with Will. Will wanted a dog food store #And Hannibal wanted a high-end gourmet ingredient shop. So they opened a kitschy boba and coffee place instead #The big freezer is a bonus for Hannibal. And free lifetime caffeine supply for Will #Also the smoothie blender comes in handy for disposing of evidence. However it gives Will slight brain saw PTSD

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yellowocaballero · 8 months

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ORV Characters Ranked by Least to Most Likely to Commit White Collar Crime

You guys said you wanted my ORV takes, and I try not to say things unsolicited, so I'll drop the good meta-analysis and literary criticism that I'm known for. For comedy purposes please pretend that ORV is American.

Omniscent Reader's Viewpoint characters broken down by likelihood to commit white collar crime, least to most:

Lee Hyeonseong: he's convinced that he's never committed a crime in his life. Intentionally, of course not. Unintentionally, he takes shopping for groceries extremely seriously, and is sometimes so wrapped up in the fruit inspection experience that he'll leave without paying. Due to his innocent face, bulk, and sheer confidence, he's never caught. In an economically thrifty maneuver, KDJ always sends him on snack runs for parties and texts him math problems while he's there. He insists it's like couponing. It's not couponing.

Jeong Huiwon: similarly, of course she would never choose to commit a crime. Also similarly, when KDJ says, 'Hey, wanna commit a crime?' she always participates. Since the crime is normally targeted at rich people, KDJ can usually morally justify it to her. She calls this harm reduction. It's not harm reduction.

Lee Jihye: would love to commit a crime in theory, almost never in practice. She has an idealized image in her mind of the ideal high school experience and it involves grand theft auto. However, the worst she ever gets is breaking & entering and trespassing, mostly because she didn't stop to wonder if the building was abandoned or not. She can't even shoplift from Claire's.

Shin Yuseung: the kind of kid who sets the dissection frogs in the school laboratory free. Looks up illegal exotic animal trading on the deepweb and sighs in longing. But exotic pet trading isn't very Animal Rights of her, so she just leaks information to the CIA and busts the rings. Lee Gilyeong convinces her to track down shady sellers on Craigslist and bust their kneecaps. Neither of them view this as significantly different from the dissection frog liberation. KDJ gets her a rescued exotic cat for her birthday as a reward.

Lee Gilyeong: self-explanatory.

Han Suyeong: she's been pirating media since she was eleven and has never stopped. World-class expert in pirating everything. She's the unsung hero who rips the CDs and games and puts them online. Runs the pirating websites. Has never paid for a webnovel or manwha or manga in her life. Despite this, she insists that pirating books is immoral and that people should support small authors. The FBI knows she exists and has been trying to catch her for years. She brags about this constantly.

Yoo Sangah: has committed tax fraud before, will commit tax fraud tomorrow, is currently committing tax fraud. Embezzles her company's embezzlement. Insists that she's only committing victimless crimes, mainly because she doesn't view business executives as people. Her ability to evade the IRS is mythological and it's how KDJ got a crush on her.

Yoo Junghyeok: does not understand adult life well enough to knowingly commit any sort of white collar crime. He is this high on the list because he enables and helps KDJ in literally everything he does, especially using his clout as an influencer. This is because KDJ has convinced him that these things aren't crimes, and he doesn't understand adult life well enough to figure it out.

Kim Dokja: has done every white collar crime under the sun. I can't emphasize enough how much crime he does. He's currently blackmailing SYS's college tuition out of a US Senator. HSY makes the shell companies and launders so much money with him. Alternates between running a pyramid scheme and a ponzi scheme depending on the month. Started a cult that one time but we don't like to talk about that. Runs the betting ring for YJH's esports games. Fixes the games. YJH does not know he does this, but KDJ splits the profits and Yoo Mia also needs a college tuition so he decides not to think about it too hard. Big into crypto and runs every crypto scam you can possibly think of, which is normally where the the ponzi schemes come in. Steals YJH's identity often. Somehow everything he does is technically legal. The only crime he does not commit is pirating. Exclusively targets the wealthy and ultra-wealthy and has never stolen money from a poor person. Sugar daddies all of his friends and pays all college tuitions. Anonymously yet obviously sponsors huge amounts of money to YJH's Twitch streams, mostly in apology for the ID theft. Would really rather be living a quiet life in a big house with all of his friends, but that big house ain't gonna pay for itself.

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #yjh #kdj #orv is about capitalism and systems of power and how they should be broken #and destroying the narratives of the powerful designed to keep us complacent and infighting and bootlicking #fucking shame how nobody's written a leverage au #'why do people tell stories' hope and love and the human condition :)#but also in order to control people determine their futures determine their fates #and even if the story isn't true you can make it true #like the fbi planting coke in black neighborhoods.#also hugely the capitalist exploitation of the entertainment industry #the chinese sweatshop worker makes the idol merchendise for the tired overworked korean #who works for little pay and no credit and overtime in the outsourced korean animation studios #for american cartoons that depressed americans watch because it offers a sliver of joy in our lives #bc the americans are being exploited by fascists and oligarchs #the korean idol is exploited by their superiors and dehumanized by their fans #i should probably make alla that a. different post jklasdf #anyway that's why they do so much crime fuck the system

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ajwamiju-archives · 7 months

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You: Ugh, remember that bitch from high school?

Suna: You mean that bitch Takeuchi Hana from class 2-4 who was born 7th August 1995 at 2.10 p.m. Leo sun, Taurus moon, Sagittarius rising, who used to live on xxx street xxx district but moved to xxx street xxx district three years ago and joined an mlm scam two weeks after moving. Has two kids, is divorced from an office worker named Saito Haruki who she met a year after graduating high school and immediately married only to have the marriage collapse five years in before her pet hamster gave itself a heart attack from it farting and has a criminal record for a DUI, aggravated assault, and public disruption? Yeah, I hate that bitch.

#tell me suna wouldn't make a good fbi agent #that man probably has more info he's withholding like someone's credit card info #suna rintarō #suna rintarou #hq suna #suna x reader #haikyuu suna

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angel-of-filth333 · 5 months

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I'm so normal about this totally normal dude ♡♡♡

#deadly premonition #you meaning to tell me hes a middle aged fbi agent who is both traumatized AND silly ⁉️⁉️⁉️#my art

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ear-motif · 9 months

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what kills me is that hannibal very clearly wants to be a provider and caregiver, but he just cant be because he can’t give up control over those he cares for

#hanniblogging #imo his drive for killing and eating his victims is yes to establish superiority over them #but what does that do? it establishes his control over them #over who? literally anyone. which means everyone. literally everyone #if anyone can be a victim the moment they cross hannibal then what does that really say. imo it says that hannibal views EVERYONE #as a potential threat #im sure he tells himself hes a god exacting old testament justice but man i dont think a god complex would sustain you this long tbh #you didnt slice beverly up and encase her in glass for the fbi to see to flaunt your power over them #they were already too close. he already lost control #beverly GOT INTO HIS FUCKING HOUSE #THE TRAINEE GIRL WHOS NAMR IM BLANKING ON JUST SAW HIS DRAWINGS AND SHE GOT TRAPPED FOR TWO YEARS!!#he let williford graham slice him up and put him behind glass and hes fucking terrified #hes bending over backwards as a warning and to scrabble for some kind of control over all of humanity bc he views everyone as a threat #bc he learned early on that everyone IS a threat. your parents wont protect you. your countrymen wont protect you. you can love someone and #they can use you while youre vulnerable with no guilt or shame #but those he cares for he also needs control over because they will be taken from you at a moments notice #so their free will doesnt really matter when youve been in fight or flight mode for 40 years straight and are convinced #they will be consumed if you dont consume them first

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diver5ion · 11 months

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#fbi #maggie bell #jubal valentine #stuart scola #tiffany wallace #isobel castille #oa zidan #cute baby #but i can tell tiff was like #hm big baby for a premmie #later i'll decide which of all the #season finale team stuff is the best #//

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hersweetrevenge · 3 months

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corey commentary: the official making of h40 🎃🔪

honestly i feel like this book really helped me refocus my thoughts on corey and brought me back to basics for the first time in a while.

i've split this post into a few specific topics based on my own thoughts and the book details that i found most interesting. a lot of this i've talked about before but i'm bringing it back with evidence babyyy.

WARNING for suicide and suicidal ideation, murder, manipulation, mental health issues and crises, and passing mentions of child abuse.

costume

corey's costume was developed in reverse (pg. 176), starting with his final look, the leather jacketed bad boy, and working backwards to the opening scene look, the good boy on his way to the sock hop.

i love that this was the process, i think that's so interesting from both a design and character perspective. taking him from what he became to what he was? it feels sort of like they were centring nostalgia in a way, starting with who corey became and then looking back to who he was (and who he will never be again). it kind of makes his downfall even more heart-breaking to me.

rohan mention's wearing coreys clothes in his real life and how no one even looked at him (pg. 184). in the commentary he also mentioned wearing corey's glasses a lot to get into the character mindset.

very interesting that we have tried and tested proof that corey can literally fade into the background and go unnoticed. it must be a combination of trying to be visually more plain but also a very quiet demeanour. but then you have the angle of corey being forced to reduce himself to as small and quiet and invisible impossible. i like the way corey both wants to be invisible (to avoid confrontation) but also desperately wants to be seen and heard and believed and understood by someone.

frame of mind/suicidal ideation

rohan mentions that there's an element of corey having not been able to kill himself before, because it was too hard to do, but looking into michael's eyes he realises he can just "call it quits" and let michael do it. then, after he is spared by michael, it gives him "permission" (pg. 198)

i think it makes a lot of sense though that michael letting him go is what tips corey over the edge, maybe reinforcing his own buried guilt (if michael let him go, he must be evil, right?) and making it feel a lot easier to make horrific choices (murder) while also making his emergency exit plan (suicide) feel easier too, if he wanted to.

corey being "tainted" by the shape because he's so close to being that anyway (pg. 172).

i don't personally believe in evil as an actual supernatural force in these movies, but corey is definitlel portrayed as more susceptible to michael's influence, even if michael does actuall demand anything of him.

i think @/slutforstabbings was the one who mentioned this to me. but when corey meets michael he is mentally and physically more susceptible to reacting irrationally in a very real-world sense. he has a history of abuse, experienced a major trauma (the accident), been under intense stress (the party), and had a recent head injury (the fall from the bridge and smacking his head in the sewer). these factors all contribute to a mental health crisis and drastic change in personality.

i feel like this confirms that corey was likely headed for (possibly another) breakdown in the future, but the events of the party/meeting michael just triggers it sooner.

emotional control

rohan mentions corey purposely doesn't feel anything since the accident (pg. 188).

this might have been my favourite detail that gets mentioned. i've always thought that corey's way of surviving post-accident was to just shutdown completely and switch off all his emotions. it's interesting to know that rohan was playing him that way.

and also a lot of the time when corey does feel strong emotions, they are turned in on himself to try and keep them private, like his anger at terry results in him hurting himself (accidently) with the milk bottle, or him regularly climbing over the bannister at the allen house but not being able to let go while during the day he thinks about some outward expression of rage through the blowtorch at the garage.

the mirror scene symbolises the first time corey feels in control (pg. 198).

i've written about this a lot before, but i very much agree that the mirror scene is a moment of processing both "what the fuck just happened?" but also "this is what control feels like". corey's whole breakdown, starting from killing nelson, is about regaining control over his own life, even if it means un-restraining himself and doing horrific things.

killings

ryan turek (exec.) and paul logan (writer) specifically state how ends is essentially a revenge movie, with corey's kills start as revenge killings, but if he survived the kills would get more random (pg. 167).

i feel like this highlights the way that corey's connection with the shape is cut short, unlike michael who had it for decades. the shape (or the idea of it) lets corey get his revenge, but after that he could keep going, he'd pick up momentum and he wouldn't be slowing down.

this seems like this is pointing towards killing being corey's method of control rather than some more direct desire to kill.

he becomes "addicted" to violence and he knows it (pg. 191).

"addicted" is a super interesting word choice and i feel like it fits perfectly. corey starts with revenge, he has his reasons, but as time goes on he could find a reason for anyone if he wanted to.

if corey survived ends and got away, he'd be living his own life for the first time ever. i think there are a lot of things he'd over indulge in, and killing being an addiction plays heavily into that -- there would be nothing to tell him to stop.

high priest!corey

rohan specifically describes corey leading doug to the sewer as him bring michael a "sacrifice" (pg. 206).

vindication !! @/slutforstabbings once said to me, while we were talking about the ritualistic nature of corey and michael's relationship and killings, that corey replaces nelson as michael's high priest, as the person who brings the sacrifices and channels michael to the outside world.

manipulation

rohan says that corey "plays" at being the shaking little boy again when he jump scares laurie while waiting outside for allyson (pg. 204).

i love this, because i fully believe corey thrives on manipulation. i think corey is fundamentally a good person anyway, but in dealing with joan he knows how to make himself inoffensive and agreeable, and i think he knows that that "character" is a safe bet to keep people happy.

and the novelisation confirms that this almost works !! laurie thinks he's just awkward and still upset from the night before. the thing that makes laurie doubt how genuine he is, is that she can see how he changes -- she can see the way he switches from one demeanour to another. proof right that he can play at being who he needs to be in the moment.

but then, by the time laurie shoots him, corey really is just a scared little boy who is in way over his head and unequipped for the situation he finds himself in (pg. 226).

corey is unprepared and unpractised -- he doesn't have the experience that michael has in bouncing back. he isn't michael. he's fucked up big time, his plan has fallen through, and he's backed himself into a corner. all the terrible things he's done, everything he's been through, the taste of control -- it's all for nothing is laurie can get the upper hand on him like this.

he's scared and out of his depth but he's dangerous, but corey ends the film the same way he starts it, in a situation he has no control over and with only himself to blame. only this time he's having the last word, he's going to do what he could before and he's going to take laurie down with him.

relationships

rohan said ronald is "the loveliest thing" in corey's life, and that the gesture of giving the motorbike is "beautiful [but] manly and detached" (pg. 182), which is a way more sympathetic view than i have.

this is a wayyy more sympathetic view of their relationship than i have. i do like this angle though, the idea that corey and ronald did have some sort of relationship but that neither of them can express it very well, that they're taking the stereotypically masculine route of small gestures and not a lot of words. which seems at odds with what corey really needed from the only male role model in his life, but it's kinda sweet that corey must like ronald enough for him to be a good part of his life, rather than just neutral.

maybe the takes about ronald being a good stepdad aren't wrong 👀

corey falls for allyson most deeply when he sees how she is on the edge just as much as he is (pg. 215).

this made me wonder if allyson and corey could have ever been together without the events of the movies? if they still met by chance, would they get along? would the attraction still be there?

their relationship is based on parasocial affection and shared similar traumas, there's a certain emotional intensity there that translates to them making rash decisions and commitments that i don't think they would otherwise.

joan's last words (in an even more extended death scene) are begging "michael" not to hurt corey (pg. 222).

joanne baron has talked about joan's motivations and perspective in some interviews, so this scenes lines up very well with what she's said previously. joan has never treated corey like a person, he's an object for her to control, but her two moments of concern for him (when he comes home the morning after the party and her death scene) come from a seemingly natural and genuine place.

also, the biggest factor that made me loose my mind over this: she doesn't know it's corey killing her. she begs this masked murderer not to kill her son, not know that it is her son beneath the mask 💀

she's begging someone not to hurt corey after years of being the one who has hurt corey. it's too late to turn back, it was always going to end like this, but can you imagine what went through corey's mind in that moment? that his momma wanted him to be safe but never made him feel safe when she had the chance.

me whenever there is a direct quote from rohan in this book:

#corey cunningham #h40 #halloween ends #halloween movies #lets not count how many times my evidence consists of ''well rohan said'' 🤡 i have no backbone #he could tell me chuck e cheese had been appointed director of the fbi and i'd eat it up no questions asked #corey reminds me of girl inter/rupted when susanna talks about how killing herself became her go to solution --#-- for any inconvenience. which makes the concept itself less serious and more easily doable #i dont think corey would do it even if he thinks about it but i think he liked having the thought there --#-- that if he really had to then he has an emergency exit plan #also something i didnt include but need to put out there. it mentions that the motorbike ron gives corey is ?? corey's dads ??#i feel like there might have been some miscommunication on that fact ?? or its true --#-- and therefore the most important detail for lore/character/plot in this whole goddamn franchise

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