#Ava's just showing off her car to a woman who's clearly NOT the love of her life

[shelby-love]

TOMMY SHELBY

Marrying Off for Love

Requested: yes (by anonymous)

Prompts: none

Warning(s): language

Word Count: 1.8K

Author's note: I made this as realistic as possible! It ends neutrally I think; not happily but not you know... It's an ending fit for the Peaky Blinders!

This is a Reader x OC / Tommy Shelby x daughter!reader one shot

~

Being free of the name was always a distant thought in your mind. You would weigh the good and the bad of having a last name with significant influence. The good somehow always overthrown the bad, leaving you with everything other than a clear, calm mind.

Sure, the luxury that came with being a Shelby was worth the sacrifice. So was your twisted family, you guessed.

At least until you met him.

A fine man with a heart of gold. Quite literally the only man in Britain worth your while.

He was perfect in every way with his looks and his manners… save for the name, of course.

Alessi Villin.

That was just your luck. Getting attention of your father's rivaling gangsters and falling head over heels in love with the man in charge.

So what does a girl do in that situation?

She chooses love of course.

***

"What the bloody hell is wrong with Y/N?" Asked Arthur after barging into the Garrison that was empty just several moments later. No man stayed upon hearing that the Shelby's were gathering for a meeting. The oldest of the brothers, and coincidentally your favorite one, leaned over the empty bar having decided to fix himself s strong drink.

"How's Linda?" Asked Polly instead, pressing her cigarette against the ash tray. She had left a few cigarettes burn themselves out until the smell started to dominate. Satisfied, she leaned back, never looking more imposing as she did right then.

"She's alright," he mumbled, swinging the glass so the drink practically flew into his throat like a rapid.

"Right," started Ava, discarding her coat on a lone chair before settling in the middle of the huddled Shelby family. "Family meeting."

"We can't start," Arthur announced suddenly, crashing onto a chair with a bottle of scotch in hand. "Y/N's not 'ere."

"Then where in the bloody hell is she?" Ada asked with a tired frown, knowing you were never late for the meetings. You showed your distaste toward them yes, but never in your life have you avoided or been purposely late to one.

It intrigued Tommy to know too. His daughter was his whole world. You were the piece of his past life that not even war could take away. Even though he didn't show it.

But the man shook his head, knowing one thing – his daughter wasn't a stupid girl. Like her aunts, she was every bit as cunning and smart. A true Shelby lady.

But still.

Where were you?

Only Polly Gray knew, but she wasn't going to say a word until it was deemed necessary.

***

The top of the grass hill has overlooked the forests for many years. The soft array of green grass and variously colored wildflowers goes on for miles all around. The air is cool against your skin, with a touch of humidity from the last night's rain.

Your legs stretch out in front of you like you've ran for miles. The blissful feeling from the position you're in eases your tense muscles. It's beautiful really, despite the slightly damp ground. Your back falls against the grass and hair spreads at the ground. The sky is clear, the perfect shade of light blue. It almost looks too good to be true. It makes you smile in delight, as you didn't really remember the last time you truly drew in a fresh breath of air.

The man who had brought you out too see this was even more beautiful. Alessi's carefree smile pursued by eyes the same shade as grass around you put your mind at ease. Helped you think clearly. Something you hadn't done in a long time.

You looked at him and saw what you wanted to be – someone free of chains that hold one's mind back from thinking out of the box. Someone loyal to a fault and loving.

 "Oi! Come here," you bellowed, sitting up and waving your hands in the air to get him away from the red wildflowers and into your arms.

Alessi didn't waste a beat and marched back toward you.

Wrapped in each other's embrace, and you never felt more at home.

That thought scared you. It scared you to know that now, there was another place you called home. In the arms of your father's rival none the less.

But that's what he gets for leaving you to your thoughts all your life. He let you be swallowed by the doubts and insecurities until he couldn't do anything about the said fact.

You had always told yourself; It's the war. The war had done that to him.

But shouldn't a father love his daughter more than anything in the world? Tommy is a complicated man that chose to move his family up in the world as a way to cope with the lingering nightmares of the war.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Alessi had asked, immediately pulling you out of the train of thoughts in your mind.

"That raspy voice of yours is the sweetest of songs to my ears," you mused with a smile, head against his chest that rose and fell with rhythmic ease.

His laugh broke out, disrupting the peaceful atmosphere.

You sat up and reached for his pocket, pulling out his favorite pocket watch to check the time. He had it custom made - the watch – wanting to have both of your initials on the front.

You melted every time you saw it.

"I missed the family meeting," you said suddenly, realization sinking in. Alessi met your eyes after you had finished quietly cursing the planet.

"I mean," you started, "It's not like I wanted to go. That's more of a formality I guess… Showing up and all."

He nodded in understanding but a question stood in front of the understanding, "Then why'd you fall in love with me? My family meeting was 2 days ago."

You bit your lip, not quite knowing how to answer.

Alessi didn't look any different than before asking the question as he stood up off the damp grass, fetching his waistcoat to put on. "What are you doing?"

"Preparing," he simply said, the thick Scouse accent breaking out with the word.

"Preparing for what?" You asked him, scurrying over to stand up.

"To ask you to marry me."

He appeared in front of you, and like a gentleman went down on one knee. There wasn't a gangster in him at that moment, the façade for the public disappeared to show something he showed only you.

Love.

Something you hadn't experienced in a long time.

"I don't care about your family, Y/N." Alessi said, "The only one I care about is you. I don't want to start a war with them because I don't want to see you get hurt. That's how much I care for you. That is just how much I love you."

Whatever happened in the next moments were true.

You had chosen to be someone's bride.

You had chosen a side you would stand by for the rest of your life.

***

The Shelby meeting could be thrown straight in the mud. Every family member went after their thing and the only thing that did seem to flow in peace was the alcohol.

"No, I really think someone kidnapped her." Arthur repeated for the 5th time, truly believing that someone had forcefully taken you as a leverage against them.

"She's not missing."

Polly saw no point in keeping your secret at that moment and so for the first time, you had given her the honors of revealing something instead of you.

"Then where the fuck is she, eh?" Arthur voiced.

Aunt Pol smiled down at Tommy who was holding the wooden chair in a vise grip, not saying a word for a few moments. Her lust for the dramatics only brought new tension into the room. "With the man she loves."

Polly's words shocked everyone present. Arthur choked on his alcohol; Ada's eyes went wide; Lizzie froze in her seat, her cigarette left and forgotten in her hand.

And as your father.

He wore a blank expression on his face even when he asked, "Who?"

Polly chuckled, "Alessi Villin, of course."

"Hold the fuck up!" Arthur butted in. "That bastard Villin we've been having trouble with?! What the hell happened with 'Don't fuck with the Peaky Blinders'? What the hell is wrong with 'er?"

"Y/N was never a Peaky," Polly told him, glancing at Tommy just as those words left her mouth. "But you knew that already, didn't you Tommy?"

"I suspected," Your dad admitted. "Just not with-"

"Your fucking competition…" Ada finished for him, clicking her tongue in pure disbelief, "I say good for her. She'll be the one that managed to get away from this twisted family!"

"Yea and then go to another one that's just like fucking us! Maybe even fucking worse!"

Both Ada and Arthur were shouting at each other now. The two were accompanied by Lizzie who had her own comments to add too.

Polly and Tommy stared each other down, "That boy loves her Tommy," Pol said. "She's his whole world. I saw it with my own eyes. And she loves him too."

Thomas said nothing as his aunt left the stunned family alone in the Garrison pub, ending the Shelby meeting with a single sentence.

***

You stood in front of your father's office door after being summoned the moment you were spotted back in Birmingham. With calm hands you twiddled the ring on your finger as a soon-to-be married woman.

You had a fiancé.

And you had to tell your dad about it.

But given that you missed the meeting, and Polly – the only person that knew – was there to fill in for your absence, you were sure the word has spread. Especially when you spotted Finn acting out the moment he saw you get out of the car. That boy can't keep a secret to save his life.

"You wanted to see me, Dad?" You asked once he called you in.

"Yes," he said, gaze locked on the papers. "Sit down."

You rolled your eyes at the tone and took a seat, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"An expensive ring you have there," Your father pointed to your left hand with his pen. "Is that what you spend your money on?"

"Was there a reason you wanted to see me?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I've decided that your engagement to Alessi Villin is a good thing."

Hope sparked at that moment, making you ignore the fact that he knew of the engagement before you even told him. "Really?"

"You have my blessing but should your engagement fail, there is going to be a war. But if you go through with this and marry him, our family and the Villin family will be united forever and this war will be over."

You hardly believed your ears. "Y-you…"

Your father said nothing. "I'm not marrying so you could do business in Liverpool!"

"The Mersey river is Alessi's territory," he tried to reason. "If you marry him than we can-"

"There is no 'we' anymore Dad!" You bellowed through sudden tears, surprising both Tommy and yourself with your voice's strength. "I'm getting bloody married! To the man that I love at last, and you're acting like we're signing a bloody contract!"

The river of words flew out your mouth, "Don't treat me like you treated John! My marriage isn't like his!"

"Now, if that's all," You stood up and fixed your skirt. "I'd like to leave. I have a wedding to plan."

You pressed your cigarette into his ash tray before turning on your heel and leaving your father for the first time in your life, to his own thoughts.

~

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[ofstormsandwolves]

christmas secrets

Zoey x Joan

Zoey, Joan, Simon, Mo, Leif, Tobin, Ava

Christmas parties, secret relationship, emotional hurt/comfort

The SPRQ Point Christmas party raises some dilemmas for Joan and Zoey as they try to keep their relationship a secret...

Read on AO3

“I was thinking of throwing a Christmas party.”

That sentence was perhaps the last thing Zoey Clarke expected to come out of her partner’s mouth, and the surprise must have shown on her face.

“I mean, for everyone at SPRQ Point,” Joan clarified. “We’ve done well this year; we’ve got the SPRQ Watch out there, we’ve made really good progress on the Chirp, the third floor have done really well with that SPRQ your imagination scheme in schools-”

“I still can’t believe you let them go with that name,” Zoey interrupted with a smirk.

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Ugh, the board lapped it up. It’s all cutesy and adorable, according to them, and they figured it’d appeal to kids. So I let them stick with it.”

The pair of them lapsed into silence then, picking at the remains of the takeout they’d ordered.

“So, uh, a Christmas party,” Zoey said after a few moments. “Sounds fun.”

Joan gave her a look. “See, your mouth says ‘fun’, but your face says ‘not fun’. Which one am I meant to believe?”

That drew a sigh from Zoey. “It’s nothing. I’m sure the party will be great, and I think it’s a really good idea. It’s just... How exactly are we going to go to a party and spend several hours with virtually everyone who works at SPRQ Point and keep our relationship secret? I mean, I know we have to, I know we agreed not to go public, but...”

Music swelled up then, echoing around the room, and Zoey knew it wasn’t coming from the television. Then, of its own accord, her mouth began moving as lyrics tumbled out.

“When you hold me in the street,

And you kiss me on the dance floor,

I wish that it could be like that.

Why can’t it be like that?

‘Cause I’m yours.

We keep behind closed doors.

Every time I see you, I die a little more.

Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls.

It’ll never be enough.”

Joan was gaping a little, clearly uncomfortable, and Zoey tried to clamp her mouth shut but the words were forcing themselves out of her throat. A part of her was mortified, that she’d completely lost control of her body, and that she was forcing Joan into such an awkward situation. A bigger part of her was terrified of what would happen once she stopped singing, however. It wasn’t like they could just ignore what had just happened, no matter how much either woman wanted to. Of course Joan knew about Zoey’s powers, had known about them for months, but she’d only witnessed them on one occasion; the day Zoey had glitched and ended up singing Pressure to Danny Michael Davis. That had been awkward, this was even worse.

“It’s obvious you’re meant for me,

Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly,

Every second, every thought, I’m in so deep.

But I’ll never show it on my face.

But we know this

We got a love that is homeless.”

“Z-Zoey,” Joan managed to get out then. “Zoey, stop.”

But she couldn’t. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know how, she must be glitching again. And that meant having to actually have a conversation about what was happening. They’d been having such a nice night, too. Why did her powers have to go and ruin everything?

“Why can’t you hold me in the street?

Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that.

Why can’t we be like that?

‘Cause I’m yours.”

Suddenly, Joan was setting her takeout on the coffee table, leaning towards her and grasping her hands in her own. “Zoey, it’s alright.”

Zoey couldn’t stop singing if she wanted to, but the soft, concerned look in Joan’s eyes nearly made her falter anyway. Was it possible Joan wasn’t mad? Sure, she knew that this wasn’t Zoey’s fault, that she couldn’t exactly turn her powers on and off when it was convenient, but still she’d expected her partner to at least be a bit embarrassed by the whole thing.

“Why can’t I say that I’m in love?

I wanna shout it from the rooftop.

I wish that it could be like that.

Why can’t we be like that?

‘Cause I’m yours.”

Finally, thankfully, the song came to an end and Zoey bit her lip. The pair sat in silence for a good few moments before it was broken.

“So.” Joan managed a small, slightly awkward smile. “You wanna talk about that?”

 Ten minutes later, Zoey was tucked into Joan’s body, the older woman gently running her fingers through red hair.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Zoey said for the fifth time.

“I know,” Joan assured quietly. “I know you can’t help it.” She sighed. “But we do have to talk about this. I mean, why didn’t you tell me how you were feeling? I thought we were on the same page, that we both knew why we had to keep this relationship quiet?”

“I do know,” Zoey promised. “But I don’t... I don’t like it. I don’t like having to sneak around at work when I’ve met you for lunch or you’re picking me up after work to go out for dinner. I hate having to be evasive about weekend plans, and I really don’t like the idea of going to this Christmas party and not being able to dance with you.” She pulled away then, to meet the older woman’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve put you in an awkward position.”

“I think I preferred the awkward position from last Friday,” Joan countered, a small smirk on her lips as she reminded her partner of the previous weekend, where they’d not even made it out of the bedroom.

Zoey’s cheeks flushed a nice pink, but the uncertainty in her eyes didn’t fade.

Joan took her hand again, squeezing it. “Believe me, Zoey, I hate this as much as you do. If I could announce it to the world tomorrow, I would. But I’m only acting CEO. Sooner or later, Danny Michael Davis will come back and I’ll be back on the fourth floor. Do you really want the whole team knowing that we’re dating? Not to mention the HR issues it will throw up.”

It was Zoey’s turn to sigh, then. “No. No, I get it. I’m sorry, I guess I’m just feeling a little fragile, and a little sad. It would have been nice to go to the party together, you know? Have a dance, have a drink. Maybe kiss under some mistletoe.”

“Yeah,” Joan smiled a little sadly. “That would be nice.”

Zoey moved to lean back into her partner then, snuggling up close. “Sorry for saying ‘sorry’ a lot, too.”

“You just said it again.” The smirk was evident in the older woman’s voice.

The redhead thought on that a moment. “Damn.”

 As it was, Joan went ahead and organised the party, and by the time the invites had been sent out two weeks before Christmas, the fourth floor was buzzing with the news.

“Hey, Zoey, did you get the e-vite about the Christmas party?” Tobin asked as she sat down at her desk Friday morning.

“Uh, yeah,” she said, shrugging off her coat and hoping nobody would pick up on the fact she’d already known about the party long before the invitations.

“It’s gonna be dope,” Tobin grinned. “I can’t believe Joan’s renting out the entirety of the Paragon! That place is booked up weeks in advance; I couldn’t even sneak my way in. And believe me, I tried.”

Zoey managed to muster a small smile at Tobin’s enthusiasm, and quickly turned her attention to her computer. “Yeah, well. I’m sure Joan just wanted to make sure everyone has a good time.”

“Do you think Joan will be there?” Leif piped up from his own desk, a slightly hopeful tone to his voice that made Zoey frown.

Feeling a little bit of jealousy bubble up in her chest, she tried to school her expression. “Maybe, why?”

Leif’s cheeks flushed then, his gaze skittering away from Zoey. “No reason.”

Her eyes narrowed, watching the man carefully as he busied himself with work. Joan had made it clear to him that their relationship- if it could even have been called that- was over, but Zoey couldn’t help but feel a little anxious. She knew that Joan didn’t want a relationship with Leif, that had been obvious even before she’d asked Zoey out, but was it possible that Leif himself wasn’t aware? Did he think he still had a chance?

Clenching her jaw and forcing her attention back to her computer, Zoey began angrily punching out code for the Chirp.

 When the morning of the party rolled around a week and a half later, Zoey didn’t feel any better about having to hide hers and Joan’s relationship at the party, nor did she feel any better about Leif’s potential feelings for her partner.

“What do you mean we’re going together?”

Admittedly, Zoey had only been half listening to what Joan was saying, poking and prodding at her takeout and lost in her own thoughts.

“Well,” Joan scoffed, looking a little irritated, “it’s silly for us to take two cars.”

“B-But that means arriving together,” Zoey said, brow furrowing and mind racing. “And leaving together. Don’t you think that will raise questions?”

The older woman rolled her eyes. “Zoey, it’s a work party. I’m sure we won’t be the only people splitting a car ride. It’ll be fine.”

Zoey found herself nodding at that, though she wasn’t wholly convinced. It seemed a little too much like tempting fate, particularly with Leif potentially sniffing around. Maybe that was the point. Maybe Joan didn’t want to announce their relationship but figured that people working it out on their own wouldn’t be as bad? That being said, HR would still be a problem, so maybe that wasn’t it. Honestly, Zoey didn’t know what was going on.

“We don’t have to go together, you know,” Joan said then, sounding a little disappointed but trying to hide it. “I just thought it would be nice. And you could come back here afterwards, spend the night. If you wanted, of course.”

Almost as though it was planned, Hermés chose that moment to appear at Zoey’s feet, staring expectantly up at the woman as she poked at her breakfast.

“That sounds nice,” Zoey admitted slowly. “I mean, if you’re sure you don’t mind having me here two nights in a row.”

A smirk spread across Joan’s face. “Why would I mind?” she asked, surveying the younger woman over her coffee mug. “That’s two nights in a row I get you all to myself.”

“You get me all to yourself whenever you want, Joan,” Zoey pointed out then, though she couldn’t stop her lips quirking in a slight smirk of her own. Then, she sighed. “Fine. If you think it won’t raise too many questions, and we can swing it, then sure. Let’s go together.”

“You sure? I don’t want you doing anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Zoey smiled again, this time a more relaxed smile. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

 That night, the pair of them arrived at Paragon in a sleek black Mercedes that Joan had rented for the night. The driver even held the door open for the pair of them as they slid out in their dresses and heels. Zoey’s fingers itched to reach out and entwine themselves with Joan’s, so she instead busied herself with smoothing her dress out instead.

“Ready?” Joan asked, sparing her partner a glance before looking towards the club.

Zoey followed her partner’s gaze. Paragon had only been open a few months, but it was already a hot place to be in San Francisco, and she could see why. It was situated at the top of a skyscraper, boasting views out across the Golden Gate Bridge, and probably cost Joan a pretty penny to book out for SPRQ Point. Hopefully the location of the party would distract the guests from Joan’s and Zoey’s arrival.

They made their way up to the club via the elevator, an uneasy silence between the two women.

“So, uh, I guess this is it.” Zoey said after a few moments. “I mean, we’re gonna have to mingle with the other guests, maybe dance, have some food. You’ll have to circulate, of course.”

“Of course,” Joan said, sounding a little disappointed.

“How do we do this, then? Do I come find you when it’s time to leave? Or, well, I guess you should come find me. After all, you’re the boss-”

Zoey was cut off abruptly by Joan’s lips on hers. The kiss was soft but insistent, and she practically melted into the touch. But it only lasted a few seconds, before Joan pulled away.

“I, uh, needed something to sustain me,” the brunette said then, looking a little embarrassed as she instead checked her makeup in the mirrored walls of the elevator.

“Uh huh,” Zoey managed, feeling a little dazed.

The elevator doors opened then, and already Joan was hurrying out before Zoey could fully process what had happened. With a sigh, she could only watch as her girlfriend disappeared into the throng, greeting people as she went. Shoulder slumped, Zoey looked around at the impressively decorated club for a moment before making a beeline for the bar. She needed a drink.

 An hour into the party, Zoey was feeling more than a little sorry for herself. She’d spent most of the time at the bar, sipping drinks and occasionally making small-talk with people who came by. Tobin had greeted her with a grin before hurrying off to grab more food, and several people from the sixth floor had also had brief conversations with her.

Now, she was stood at the edge of the dance floor, yet another drink in hand as she watched people dance and have fun. It wasn’t fair. It was Christmas, the party was to celebrate a great year, and everyone was having a good time but her. Occasionally, she caught sight of Joan talking to one of her employees, often with a forced smile and a fake look of interest on her face. Zoey wanted nothing more than to be able to sweep in and tug Joan away from those boring conversations to go make out in a dark corner, but she knew she couldn’t. For a start, it would tip off to the entirety of SPRQ Point that she was in a relationship with the boss, and secondly Joan would be furious. But then she remembered the kiss in the elevator, and she couldn’t tell if her knees went weak from the memory or the alcohol, but all it did was make Zoey long for Joan even more.

Shaking her head to clear it, she instead made her way towards the DJ booth. She’d persuaded Joan to hire Mo for the event, even though Paragon had offered their own DJ. With Max no longer around, and things being really quite awkward between herself and Simon due to her having to turn him down once she and Joan got together, Zoey needed a friendly face at the party.

“Howdy,” Zoey greeted as she reached her friend.

Mo, for his part, fixed her with a look and a slight smirk. “And how many of those lovely martinis have you already had tonight?”

Zoey shrugged at the question. “I don’t know. Five? Six? Who’s counting? I’m not!”

At her answer, it seemed that Mo didn’t quite know whether to be amused or concerned, and he studied her for a long moment. “Now, Zo-loft, how have you been? I’ve noticed you haven’t been at your apartment as much lately. Staying with your mysterious lover?”

In her drunken state, Zoey could do nothing to stop the grin from spreading across her face. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Mo returned his attention to his records briefly to change tracks, before turning back to his friend. “Well, that would be why I asked the question. You’ve been flitting in and out, disappearing for entire nights at a time and showing back up with a ridiculous grin on your face and still you refuse to tell me who the lucky man is.”

Snorting, Zoey waved a hand dismissively. “Please,” she said, laughing slightly. “I’m over men. They’re nothing but drama. I mean, the whole thing with Simon, and Max, and the singing and the dancing and the kissing...”

Mo arched an eyebrow at that, and he surveyed her again, as though seeing her through new eyes. “Well,” he said after a moment, “I guess that serves me right for assuming.” He tilted his head to one side, considering, before staring out across the dance floor.

Zoey watched as her friend stared, silently holding her breath and hoping Mo couldn’t read her too well.

After several long moments, Mo looked back to her. “Does she make you happy?”

“Very.” Zoey waggled her eyebrows, and Mo shook his head.

“Ugh. Go away please. You are nauseatingly loved up right now. And drunk. And I don’t want you throwing up on my records.” He made a shooing motion with his hands.

Rolling her eyes, Zoey spun on her heel and headed away, taking a large gulp of martini as she did so. Just as she was lowering her glass, however, she walked straight into someone and nearly toppled to the ground. A hand shot out, grabbing her around the waist to steady her. Zoey blinked, and looked up into bright blue, concerned eyes.

 “Joan!”

The small redhead was beaming up at Joan as though she hung the stars in the night sky, and the thought made the older woman glance around in concern.

“You ok there? You ploughed straight into me.” Joan surveyed her carefully, a small frown furrowing her brow. She seemed sort of unsteady on her feet, and now she thought about it, she was pretty certain Zoey had spent a great deal of time propping up the bar. Not that she’d been keeping tabs on her partner, or anything.

“I’m great,” Zoey grinned. “Have you tried the martinis here? They’re amazing!”

“Uh, yeah, they’re something alright. I mean, they should be at $9 a go.” Joan’s frown deepened. “Zoey, are you alright?”

When Zoey only grinned back drunkenly, Joan let out a sigh. Sure, Joan herself had also had a few drinks, but something told her that the younger woman had several drinks on her, and she also knew that it took less time for her to get drunk. After all, Zoey was small and hadn’t had twenty years of being married to Charlie to harden her to the effects of liquor. While Joan was merely buzzed, Zoey was flat out drunk. And if they weren’t careful, they’d end up causing a scene.

“Ok,” she said, moving to steer her partner towards some seating, “how about we have a sit down? The last thing we want is you falling flat on your face.”

It was only halfway towards the plush seating that Joan realised she still had one arm firmly around Zoey’s waist. Swallowing thickly and hoping nobody had noticed, she quickly guided Zoey to sit herself down before crouching in front of her.

“I’m, uh, gonna go grab some water. See if we can sober you up.”

Zoey scrunched her nose up at the suggestion. “Why? It’s a party, Joan. Come on, have a drink with me!”

Part of Joan really, really wanted to give in to that. She wanted nothing more than to have a drink with her partner, and to maybe get drunk enough to make an ass of herself on the dance floor, and then make out with Zoey in the car on the way home. Everything Charlie had always hated. But the logical part of her was reminding her that nobody could know about their relationship, and with Zoey already drunk she needed to stay sober enough to deal with the situation. Forcing a tight smile onto her face, she repeated herself.

“I’m gonna grab some water.” She stood then, before pausing. “Uh. Just stay here, ok?”

Joan set off towards the bar then, giving polite smiles to various subordinates she barely recognised as she passed them. Within a minute, she was returning to Zoey’s booth with a large glass of water, hoping it would be enough. But when she returned, she saw Simon seated opposite Zoey, leaning forward with his forearms on the table.

“Well, I’m just saying,” Simon said with a laugh as Joan drew nearer, “you seem a little drunk. Maybe you should call it a night?”

“Pfft,” Zoey snorted. “I’m not drunk! Besides, I can’t leave until Joan leaves.”

Joan felt her heart stop in her chest at that, and she held her breath as she waited for a response.

“Ah,” Simon nodded knowingly, “you want to stay until the boss calls it quits. I get that. But maybe you should lay off the martinis? I think you’ve had enough.”

Squaring her shoulders, Joan crossed the rest of the floor to reach Zoey’s side. She flashed Simon a slightly cruel smile and set the glass of water on the table in front of the redhead.

“Here we are; one glass of water. We really don’t need you throwing up all over the dance floor.”

As the words left her mouth, however, Joan caught sight of Simon’s slight frown. Huh. Perhaps she’d played it a little too cool. Forcing a tight smile onto her lips, she turned her attention back to her partner and pushed the glass towards her.

“Drink.”

Thankfully, Zoey did as she was told, downing the water with almost impressive speed. Simon shifted to stand then, sparing a confused look at Joan before flashing a smile at Zoey.

“Well, uh, I’ll leave you ladies to it. Zoey, if you’re not too drunk, how about a dance later?”

Zoey went wide-eyed at that, and for the second time in as many minutes Joan’s heart was in her mouth. But thankfully, the younger woman instead just nodded slowly.

“Uh, yeah. Maybe.”

Simon left then, and Joan watched him go for a few moments before sliding into his recently vacated seat opposite Zoey. She fixed her partner with an unimpressed look. Zoey, for her part, held her ground. Perhaps she was getting better to standing up against her girlfriend. Perhaps she was just too drunk to be nervous.

“Joan, I’m fine. I’m not even that drunk.” The redhead rolled her eyes for good measure.

“Uh huh. Sure. But let’s not add to that drunkenness.” Joan sighed then. “Zoey, I’m sorry. I wish we didn’t have to hide our relationship. I wish we could be together, spend time together here instead of sneaking around.”

It was Zoey’s turn to sigh, and her gaze skittered away, her previous alcohol-fuelled joy evaporating quickly. She surveyed the dance floor for a long moment, watching colleagues dancing and laughing and drinking, before slowly looking back to Joan.

“You want to maybe make out in the bathroom a bit?”

Despite herself, a slow grin spread across Joan’s face. Before she could form a response, Zoey had taken her by the hand and was tugging her in the direction of the toilets.

 Making out in the women’s restroom of Paragon wasn’t exactly how either Joan or Zoey had thought the evening would go, but they weren’t about to complain about it. It didn’t take long for hands to roam and dresses to get bunched up as previously coiffed hair was wrapped around fingers and makeup was smudged.

Zoey was busy sucking at Joan’s pulse point when the door to the bathroom opened. The pair sprung apart as though electrocuted, and quickly busied themselves with smoothing out clothing and fiddling with hair in an attempt to look more presentable.

“- until at least the middle of next year. Oh.” Ava Price blinked, frowning a little at Joan’s and Zoey’s slightly dishevelled appearances. “Hello, Joan. Zoey.”

Ava and the two women who had come into the bathroom with her surveyed Zoey and Joan with a look of confusion, and the redhead quickly forced a nervous grin.

“Watch out for those hand dryers,” she said with an awkward laugh. “They’re really strong. Practically destroyed my hair.”

“Uh, yeah. Really strong,” Joan echoed, plastering her own fake smile on her face.

Ava looked between the pair of them for a long moment, clearly unimpressed by their excuse, before simply rolling her eyes and stepping into the nearest cubicle. The two other women ducked into cubicles too, and Joan and Zoey shared a wide-eyed, embarrassed glance, before quickly moving for the door.

“Ugh,” Joan said once they were out of the bathroom. “Well that was fun.”

“I know,” Zoey sighed. “I’m sorry. I should never have suggested-”

But Joan shook her head. “Zoey, it’s fine. I went along with it, I didn’t say no.” She surveyed her partner for a few moments. “And you’re still really drunk, aren’t you?”

The younger woman shrugged. “Well, that water did help. But... Kinda?”

Letting out a sigh, Joan took a moment to just breathe. She’d had a few drinks as well, of course, and she could only blame the alcohol in her system for hers and Zoey’s make out session. In no other circumstance would she have even considered making out at a word function, Christmas party or not. She had rules, rules that she had set herself so that her employees and colleagues could never call her unprofessional, could never insist that she was too emotional or that she was proof women shouldn’t be in the tech industry. And now they’d potentially been seen by Ava, and even if Ava had no hard proof they’d certainly been far too careless.

A hand was on her arm then, and she looked round to see Zoey watching her in concern. She forced a smile.

“We should get back to the party.”

Zoey smiled sadly. “Yeah.”

 “Zoey.”

Zoey looked up to see Leif staring at her, a tight smile on his face and a mannerism that seemed a little... Odd.

“Leif,” she greeted, frowning a little before returning her attention to the food. Maybe if she ate some more she’d sober up more.

“So, uh, I see you and Joan went to the bathroom together,” he said. “Girl talk?”

That made her frown deepen. “That’s none of your business, Leif.”

Leif shifted at that, and glanced across the room for a moment before returning his gaze to Zoey. “I know you sabotaged me and Joan. She told me that you told her about my feelings. And I saw how you left together that night at the bar. I mean, I had a pretty good view from the stage, and the pair of you seemed very... Intimate.”

Swallowing thickly, Zoey concentrated harder on the food in front of her. She and Joan hadn’t been together at that point, and honestly, it was Leif’s singing that had mostly scared them away. But she couldn’t say that, and she didn’t trust herself not to let anything slip. So instead, she fixed him with a tight smile.

“Well, this has been a great talk, Leif, but I have to go.”

If Leif had a response to that, Zoey didn’t wait around to hear it.

 Zoey sought safety hanging out with Mo at the DJ decks again.

“Please tell me you’ve been staying away from the bar,” he said in way of greeting as Zoey appeared at his side.

“I have. Joan made me drink some water,” Zoey said without thinking.

At the comment, Mo arched an eyebrow. “You know, you’ve certainly been spending a lot of time with the lovely Joan the last few months. Anything I should know about?”

Something in his tone seemed that little bit too smug, and Zoey was reminded of their earlier conversation and how he had asked if she was happy. Did he already know? Honestly, she didn’t have Mo pegged as a subtle person, but maybe...

“No.” Zoey stuffed a pig in a blanket into her mouth quickly.

“Mmm,” Mo hummed, an amused expression on his face. “You know, Zoey Clarke, you are a terrible liar. Besides, a little Christmas robin told me that you two ducked into the bathroom earlier and came out looking rather dishevelled. And the pair of you clearly have feelings for one another.” He gave her a pointed look at that.

Zoey said nothing, but flushed a dull red. She wasn’t supposed to be telling anyone. Not even her mom or David knew about her and Joan. Besides, she couldn’t tell Mo in the middle of a SPRQ Point party, not after the near run-in with Ava.

Mo turned his attention back to the music, then, and for a moment it didn’t register in Zoey’s head as a familiar strain of music started up. But it was only as everything else seemed to distort as though in slow motion that she realised what was happening.

Joan was across the dance floor, talking with someone Zoey vaguely recognised from PR. Leif, meanwhile, was several feet away, a drink in hand and a pained expression on his face.

“Oh, no,” Zoey murmured. “No, no, no...”

And suddenly, Leif was singing.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

But the very next day you gave it away.

This year, to save me from tears

I’ll give it to someone special...”

He began moving then, setting his drink down on a table before moving towards an oblivious Joan. Everything was soft and slow-motion, except for Leif who stood out in glorious technicolour.

“Once bitten and twice shy,

I keep my distance,

But you still catch my eye.

Tell me baby,

Do you recognise me?

Well, it’s been a year,

It doesn’t surprise me...”

Zoey felt like she couldn’t move. Like she was stuck to the floor. Part of her brain knew she wouldn’t be able to intervene anyway, but a bigger part of her was stuck on the fact she’d been right to be concerned about Leif. He clearly still had feelings for Joan, and after the confrontation at the buffet...

“I wrapped it up and sent it

With a note saying, ‘I love you’, I meant it.

Now, I know what a fool I’ve been,

But if you kissed me now

I know you’d fool me again.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

But the very next day you gave it away.

This year, to save me from tears

I’ll give it to someone special...”

He was dancing around Joan then, and annoyance bubbled up in Zoey’s chest. Even from where she was stood she could see the look on Leif’s face. Part longing, part disappointment, part something she couldn’t put her finger on.

“A crowded room, friends with tired eyes,

I’m hiding from you, and your soul of ice.

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on.

Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on...

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

But the very next day you gave it away.

This year, to save me from tears

I’ll give it to someone special...”

The song faded out then as everything returned to normal. Joan left her conversation, Leif was back where he started sipping a drink, and Zoey was wholly confused.

“And what is going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

Mo’s voice startled Zoey from her thoughts, and she turned to look to her friend.

“Hey, uh, Mo, what does it mean if someone sings Last Christmas?”

Mo tilted his head to one side, considering that for a long moment. “Well, that depends. It’s a song about unrequited love and heartbreak, but it’s also about moving on, finding someone else. I’d say if someone’s singing that, they want to move on.”

Zoey bit her lip. “But they still have feelings for that person, right? I mean, with the whole ‘fool me again’ thing?”

“Sure, but the song is all about not wanting to make the same mistake, about moving past that and not putting yourself through that pain again. No matter what your feelings are for someone, sometimes you just have to walk away.” Mo studied her carefully then. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with the lovely Joan, would it?”

“Leif just sang it to Joan.” Zoey pouted for a moment, before catching herself and trying to school her expression.

“Uh huh, and you don’t like it because you’d rather have Joan all to yourself.” That earned Mo a scowl, but he simply smirked. “Child, please. You two are so loved up a blind person could see it from the North Pole.”

“Oh.” Zoey frowned. “Are we that obvious? I mean, how long have you known?”

Mo’s amused expression quickly turned to one of reassurance then as Zoey panicked. “Zoey, calm down. I only figured it out tonight.” He thought for a moment. “Honestly, I’m kind of ashamed it took me so long. I am not on my A-game.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Anyway. You said earlier, you’re not with men anymore. And you’ve definitely been seeing someone. Plus you and Joan have grown awfully close since her divorce.” Mo shrugged. “It just makes sense.”

Shoulders slumping in relief, Zoey surveyed her partner across the dance floor. “You know, tonight’s really sucked. We had to have a whole fake story about how we were sharing a ride here because it was easier, to hide our relationship. We haven’t been able to have a single dance, we nearly got caught by Ava making out in the bathroom, I spent an hour drowning my sorrows at the bar while Joan’s had to make small talk with everyone...” She trailed off with a frustrated sigh.

Mo frowned at that. “Oh, please, Zoey, half the people here are halfway to being comatose what with all the fancy over-priced drinks they’ve been drinking. Nobody is going to care if you and Joan dance.”

“But it will raise questions-”

“No, it won’t. Now go.” He took Zoey’s half-finished plate of food from her and pointedly pushed her towards the dance floor. “Go get your woman. I have the perfect song for you.”

 Zoey appearing at Joan’s elbow in the middle of a very dull conversation with three people from- marketing? Sales? Honestly, Joan couldn’t remember.

“Zoey! Hi. Uh, can I help you?”

The younger woman had a slightly nervous smile on her face that made Joan worry just a little. “Yeah, actually, if you’re not too busy. I just figured, you know, we’ve been here a while and I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t had a single dance. I mean, I’m not the best of dancers, but...”

Joan let out an awkward laugh at that, and was somewhat surprised to see the people she’d been talking to simply flash her a grin and make their goodbyes. Taking the opportunity to seize Zoey by the arm, she led her partner away from the dance floor.

“What are you doing?” she hissed. “We agreed to keep a low profile! I mean, we already risked it in the bathroom earlier!”

“I know.” Zoey held her hands up in a placating gesture. “But Mo said that nobody will care-”

“Mo knows? Oh god!”

“-because everyone’s mostly drunk anyway, and I really wanna dance with you, Joan. It doesn’t have to be some romantic slow dance. Actually, it’s best it’s not. But just... One dance, Joan? Please?”

Joan let out a sigh then, trying to ignore Zoey’s wide, imploring eyes. But it seemed impossible, and she made a good point about people being drunk. Lots of people were dancing together. Tobin had danced with almost everybody. Would people really think anything bad if Zoey and Joan spent some time on the dance floor?

“Keep your hands to yourself,” she said, before turning and walking to the dance floor.

Zoey followed with a grin, and when they got there, Mo spotted them and gave a big grin before switching to a new track. As the music began to play, Joan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“You’re kidding me,” she said, shaking her head as laughter threatened to bubble up.

“Hey,” Zoey grinned, “Mo’s got good taste.”

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas,

There is just one thing I need...”

As more people joined the dancing around them, Joan allowed herself to move that little bit closer to Zoey.

“You don’t have to,” Zoey murmured as Joan took her hand in her own.

Joan gave a soft smile in response. “I want to.”

She pulled her partner into a loose embrace, something that wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows if people took notice, but allowed her that little bit of closeness she’d been craving all night. Hopefully to unsuspecting eyes it would simply look like two friends enjoying themselves on the dance floor.

The pair of them danced and laughed through the first two verses and chorus, grins on their faces as they enjoyed themselves. Instead of a gentle or respectable swaying, they moved that little bit too much, that little too wildly, in a parody of a romantic slow dance complete with the occasional silly face at one another. They were spurred on by laughter and alcohol, and Joan couldn’t deny just how right it felt to dance with Zoey in that way. But she wanted more. On a whim, she tugged Zoey closer, and leaned down to quietly sing along to the song.

“I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you...”

She spun Zoey then, eliciting a laugh from the younger woman as she fell into Joan’s embrace. Perhaps they’d both had a tiny bit too much to drink to contemplate any more spinning, but as Zoey instead tucked her still-giggling form into Joan’s chest, she couldn’t quite bring herself to care. After too short a time, the song came to a close.

Joan took a breath, a soft smile on her lips, and then she quietly moved to whisper in Zoey’s ear. “So. You wanna get out of here?”

Zoey’s grin was more than enough of a response.

#zoey x joan #zep fic #zoey clarke #joan bennett #zoeys extraordinary playlist

[jliyah17]

He’s the Boy Next Door- Kai

Pairing: Huening Kai x Female Reader Word Count: 10,568 Warning: Swearing, Some violence

Masterlist

“Did you have fun Y/N?” your mom asked. You and your family just got back from a family reunion. It was refreshing since you haven’t seen your family in a year.

“Yeah, I had fun.” You said as you looked out the window at your surroundings. The familiar buildings let you know that you were close to your house. “I just wish we could see grandma more. I feel bad that she has to live by herself.” You said, feeling a little sad afterward.

“Well, she likes living by herself. We’ve asked her if she wanted to move in with us multiple times, but she refuses.” She says as your dad pulls into the driveway. You look to your left and see a moving truck with workers grabbing the furniture and moving it into the house. “Hm, guess we have new neighbors.” She says as she opens the door and gets out the car, you, your dad and your little brother following. Your dad opens the trunk and starts handing luggage to everyone. You grabbed your suitcase and was about to go inside when your mom stopped you. “Can you get the mail for me please?” She asked. Ma’am you can’t get it yourself?, you thought as you trudged to the mailbox.

Crash!

The sudden noise scared you and you jumped, looking around to see where the sound came from. You looked at your next door neighbor’s house to see a boy standing there with glass at his feet. He had a very tall and broad frame, and his dark brown hair was soft, reminding you of cotton candy. Your eyes traced his tall figure all the way up to his eyes, which were staring right back at you. Oh shit, he’s looking at me, you thought to yourself as you became more shy. It looked like he was about to say something when a woman, you assumed was his mother, yelled at him as she stood in the doorway of the house.

“Kai, what did you do now!” She said as she stood with her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed with the boy.

“Sorry mom, I dropped one of the picture frames.” He said as he bent down to pick up the big shards of glass.

“Please be careful next time.” She said with a sigh. “Now come in here and help me put up the dishes, please.” She said as she walked back into the house. 

Before he walked off, he looked at me and smiled. He is sooo cute, you thought to yourself as you smiled back. He put the shards into the garbage can in front of the house and strolled into the house.

“Hope I see more of him.” You said as you grabbed the mail out of the box and walked into your house.

The next day after your encounter, you and your family went to the grocery store to get food to cook. Your parents were throwing a Back To School cookout, since school is starting two days after. You and your family just left the store and are now in the car on the way home.

“Babygirl, you excited about school?” Your dad asked as he looked at you through the rear view mirror. You didn’t really know how to feel. It’s not liked you totally despised school, but it sure as hell isn’t your favorite place to be.

“I mean… I don’t really know how to feel.” You said, watching the trees to the right, swaying with the wind as the car stopped at a red light. “I just hope I make more friends.” Maybe even get a boyfriend, you thought to yourself.

“I hope you do too. I can’t stand that little girl, what’s her name? Anna?” Your mother said as she snapped her fingers, trying to remember.

“Her name is Ava mama, and she isn’t that bad. I mean yeah, she can be a pain in the butt, but she’s my friend.”

“Well watch out for her, I don’t trust her. You need more friends like Jasmine. Now she’s a good friend.” She said, and your father nodded his head in agreement.

Jasmine’s your best friend. You two met in middle school and have been friends ever since. You’ve always been there for each other even when things get tough. Your relationship with her is different from your relationship with Ava. You can actually trust Jasmine. Maybe mom’s right about Ava. 

“We’re here.” Your dad said as he parked the car in the driveway. You looked to your left to the familiar house and saw the family getting out of their car also. It was a man, a woman, two girls, and the boy that you saw yesterday. And of course, your mother had to go over and greet them. She love talking to people, you thought to yourself as you mentally rolled your eyes.

“Hey!” She said as she walked over to their house with a smile, your father following behind.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” His mother said as she smiled back. Yours and his parents greeted each other and started talking about random things.

“C’mon Caleb.” You said to your little brother as you both walked to where everyone else was gathered. “Hi.” You said as you approached the group. Everyone greeted you back, but you were only focused on one person: Kai. You two just stood there, smiling at each other. Your mother could sense the tension, but you didn’t know that. You were so caught up in him that you didn’t hear your mother calling you. “Ow!” You said, rubbing your arm and looking at your brother who hit you.

“Mom was calling you, but you were too busy staring at him.” He said as he rolled his eyes.

“Shut up.” You said as you nudged him back, heat rushing up to your cheeks. You looked over to Kai to see that he too was blushing.

“His mother asked you if you’re excited about school.” Your mother said as she eyed you. You smiled at her and responded to her.

“Yes ma’am, I can’t wait for Monday.” You said, trying to be optimistic about the topic.

“I’m asking because I was wondering if you could show Kai around?” She said with a sweet smile.

“I would love to.” You said as you smiled back at her.

“I bet you would.” Caleb said under his breath, and you glared at him.

“It was nice meeting y’all, but we have to get going.” His father said.

“We’re having a little get together later on today. You and your family are welcome to come.” Your father said. His dad looked at his mother and she nodded her head in agreement.

“We would love to go.” He said with a smile. Everyone said their goodbyes and walked to their respectable homes. You and Kai were the last ones to leave.

“It was nice meeting you…”

“Y/N.” You said as you smiled.

“Y/N.” He said to himself, as if to remember your name. “I’ll see you later.” He smiled.

“You too.” You said as you both walked to your houses.

“Wait, you said he was how tall?” Jasmine said as she stopped  blow drying her hair, engrossed in the information you were telling her.

“I don’t know, like six feet.” You said as you shrugged, fixing your hair as well.

“Okay, I see you best friend.” She said, the smile on her face evident.

“What you cheesing for, it’s not like we’re dating.”

“You never know.” She shrugged.

“I’m mad you can’t come. You just had to get your hair done today.” You said as you pouted at the phone screen. She rolled her eyes at your actions.

“Girl stop being dramatic, you’ll see me tomorrow.”

“But I need you here today when shit gets awkward.”

“You’ll be fine.” She said. Just when you were about to respond, you heard your mom call you.

“Y/N! It’s time to eat!” She yelled from downstairs.

“Welp, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said.

“Don’t be too shy around what’s-his-face.” She said as she smirked.

“Girl, I’m never shy.” You said as you flipped your hair.

“Bitch please.” She said as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not. Watch me not be shy when he gets here.” You said.

Oh shit, he’s here, you thought to yourself as you saw him come in behind his family. Shit, shit, shit. C’mon Y/N, there’s nothing to be shy about. He’s just a boy, you thought as you tried to compose yourself. You know what, Imma  just wait over here until he comes over. No, that’s rude, I have to greet him and his family, they’re guests.

“Fuck it.” You said as you walked over to his family from the spot that you were standing at. “Here goes nothing.”

To say that you were being dramatic was an understatement. It wasn’t nearly as bad as you were making it out to be. At first, you were shy when you came to greet them, but it soon went away when the grownups sent y’all away to go mind your businesses while they talked. You had no choice but to converse since they were talking among themselves. You learned a lot about them and they learned a lot about you. The shyness quickly went away and you were able to make conversation with them.

“So what classes do you have, Kai.” You asked him. 

“Uh, hold up. I took a picture of my schedule on my phone.” He said as he pulled it out. “I have math for first period, chemistry for second, art for third, and English for fourth.”

“Yay, we have math and art together!” You said, a little too enthusiastically. You felt somewhat embarrassed, but Kai didn’t seem phased since he smiled at you.

“I hope you know I’m cheating off of you in first period.” He said as he smirked.

“Anyways.” You said as you rolled your eyes. Y’all talked a little more until it was late and his family was leaving.

“Uh, this might be a little too forward, but can I get your number? You know, as friends?” He said as he scratched the back of his neck.

“No it’s not too forward. Here.” You said as you gave him your phone and he gave you his. You put your number in and put “Y/N💜” as the contact name. He gave you back your phone and his contact name was just “Kai.” “Damn, no emoji?” You asked. He just shrugged.

“See you on Monday, Y/N.” He said as he waved bye and exited your backyard.

“You too.” You called back.

“Damn, he couldn’t even put an emoji?” Jasmine asked over Facetime. You just shrugged. “What you should do is grow some balls and ask him out.” You gave her a questionable look. “Don’t look at me like that. You sitting here looking out the window, probably to see if he’ll leave his house, instead of just texting him.” She was somewhat right about that. You were sitting in the family room upstairs, looking out the window. But you weren’t looking for him, you were just watching the cars drive by. Well, at least that’s what you claimed to be doing.

“You making me sound like a stalker.” You said as you gave her another look.

“Did I lie?” She said as she shrugged.

“Kai, you have a dentist appointment next week.” His mother said as she went through the mail. “Leah, you have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks.” She made a confused face as she looked at the last piece of mail. “Hm. That’s weird. They must have made a mistake.” She said as she got up and went to the door, about to put her shoes on.

“What’s wrong ma?” Leah said as she looked up from the TV.

“This one was sent to the wrong house. It was supposed to go to the Y/LN’s. I’ll be back.” Kai jumped up at the sound of that.

“I can get it Mom.” He said as he ran to the door to put on his shoes too.

“Aww, that’s so sweet of you baby, but I can do it.”

“I insist.” He said. She gave him a look, but gave him the mail.”

“Why are you being so persistent? Any other time, it’s a different story.” She said as she eyed. The two sisters were in the back laughing.

“Because he has a crush on Y/N.” She said as heat rose to his cheeks.

“No I don’t. Y’all don't believe that I’m trying to be a good son?” They all looked at each other, then started laughing.

“That was a good joke.” His mother said, still laughing.”

“Wow.” He said as he opened the door and left.

“Yes you did lie.” You said. “Why would I just be sitting here, looking for him?” Just when you said that, a familiar brown-haired boy left his house, on the way to yours.

“Because you’re you.”

“You know what? You always have something to say- Oooh, Jasmine! He’s walking to my house!” You said as you got excited.

“What did I say? Stalker.” She said as she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be back.” You said as you ran downstairs. Right when your foot touched the last step, the sound of the doorbell blared through the house. “I’ll get it!” You said as you were a few feet from the door. “Hey Kai.” You said as you opened the door.

“Hey Y/N.” He said with a smile. You noticed the paper in his hand.

“What’s that?” You said as you pointed at the envelope.

“Oh yeah.” He said, as if he forgot the reason why he came in the first place. “Um, my mom found this in the pile of mail. They gave it to the wrong address.” He said as he scratched the back of his head. “Here.” He said, handing it to you.

“Thanks.” You said as you took the envelope. Y/N Y/LN, it read. The Institution of Art. “This is the school Jasmine was telling me about.”

Art has always been your passion. Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve been drawing. Always getting your hands dirty with some type of medium. But your favorite medium ever since you were in middle school was watercolor. Jasmine told you about the school after going to a college fair over the summer. After doing research on the school, it became your dream school.

“The Institution of Art.” He read. “You can draw?”

“Yeah. The school isn’t just for art, though. Other people that go there can sing, dance, play instruments, and other things.”

“Maybe I should go.” He said as he looked at the pamphlet.

“Oh wow. You have talent?” You said as you smirked.

“I see you got jokes.” He said as he chuckled.

“So, I’ve been told.” You said as you shrugged. “So what are you good at?” You asked as you leaned against the door.

“I’m good at singing and dancing, but I think I’ll go for dance.”

“Oh, so you can dance? Maybe you can teach me, cuz I can’t dance for shit.”

“Sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” He said as he laughed.

“Oh wow. Imma remember that.” You said as he continued to laugh.

“Anyway, I have to get going, but it was nice talking to you, Y/N.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said as you waved goodbye.

“Bye Y/N.” He said with a smile as he waved back and left to go back home.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Bee-!

The sound of your alarm ceased when you hit the “Stop” button on your phone.

“Fuck. I’m still tired.” You groaned as you pulled the covers over your head.

Ding! Ding!

Message from Jazzy💖

Message from Kai

You unlocked your phone to reply to the two messages.

 Jazzy💖: Hey bitch, you ready for the first day

You: Hell naw

Kai: I hope you’re up

You: Don’t worry bout me sir

After replying to the two messages, you set your phone aside, got out of your bed, and walked to the bathroom. Your morning routine wasn’t anything original. The usual shower, brushing of teeth, washing your face, putting on deodorant, putting on clothes, fixing your hair, doing your makeup, and spraying perfume. Your outfit was simple but cute: A black crop top, black shorts, a checkered brown and tan jacket, and black and white low-top Vans. You also put your braids up in a half-up-half-down hairstyle.

“Aww, I look cute.” You said as you looked yourself in your full-length mirror in your room. After checking your appearance, you grabbed your bookbag, your keys, your phone, and your earbuds. You sent Kai a text, telling him you were leaving as you walked down the steps. Yesterday, after he came by to give you the mail, he sent you a text later on, asking you if you wanted to walk to the bus stop together. Of course you accepted his offer, seeing as that’s more time that you would get to spend with him. You felt your phone vibrate and you looked at the message from Kai, telling you that he was outside of your house. “Hey Kai.” You said as you opened the door, closing and locking it with your key.

“Hey Y/N.” He said as you both walked down the sidewalk. “You know you’re gonna get dress coded, right?” He said as he pointed to your stomach.

“I doubt that. They barely care what we wear, as long as it’s nothing extreme.” You hoped that you wouldn’t get dress coded, since a lot of the other girls at your school wore crop tops. It was quiet for a little bit before you spoke again. “Your little sister isn’t going to our school?” You asked, since you noticed that she didn’t come out the house.

“No, she’s going to an all girl’s school downtown and they start next week.”

“Oh wow. Must be nice.”

“I know right. I felt like I got five minutes of sleep.” He said and you nodded in agreement. “You know, you don’t have to show me around school. I can figure it out myself. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“No, you’re good. I don’t mind showing you around.” You said as you gave him a smile and he smiled back.

You two finally reached the bust stop to see five other people there. You stood away from them and continued talking.

“Just so you know ahead of time, Ms. Newton, our math teacher, is a pain in the ass. Like, she’s always mad for no reason, so make sure you don’t do anything to piss her off.” You said and he groaned as he threw his head back.

“Ugh! Why did I have to get a mean teacher? And we have her early in the morning too.” He said with a pout and you patted him on his back.

“It’s okay, We’re in this together.” You joked. Y’all talked for a little bit when you saw flashing lights to your right. You looked to see the big yellow vehicle approaching the bus stop. When it came to a halt, the long hand with the “Stop” sign came out, and everyone at the bus stop walked to the doors and got on the bus. You and Kai decided to sit in the middle of the bus, seeing as the back was too loud, and the front was already filled up. You took the window seat while he sat in the aisle seat. You got comfortable and lay your head on your bookbag.

“Are you really going to sleep?” He asked as he laughed.

“Hell yeah. I’m tired. You should go to sleep too.” You said as you turned your head towards the window

“That nap wasn’t long enough.” You said, shielding your eyes from the bright lights inside the bus, indicating that y’all could get off. You looked to your right to see Kai sound asleep. “Kai. Kai. Wake up.” He groaned as he sat up. “We’re at school.” He nodded his head and stood up as he put his bookbag on, you followed. You pulled your phone out to send Jasmine a text.

You: We here

 Jazzy💖: kk

 Jazzy💖: We’re sitting at the table we usually sit at

“Come on.” You said to Kai as you two walked through the doors that lead to the cafeteria. Kai looked around in awe as you led him to the table.

“Damn, this school is huge.” You laughed at his face.

“Your last school wasn’t this big?”

“No. It was a good size, but it wasn’t this big.”

“Hey y’all.” You said as you two approached the table. “This is Kai y���all.” You said and they waved to him. 

“Hey Kai.” Ava said as she smirked at him.

Uh uh, why is she looking at him like that?, you thought to yourself as you made a face.

You made eye contact with Jasmine and she had the same expression as you.

“Kai, this is Jasmine, Brianna, Tianna and Ava.” You said.

“Hey.” Kai said as he waved. You two went to sit at the table. You sat in between Jasmine and Kai, him on your left and her on your right. Tianna was sitting in front of you, Brianna was sitting in front of Jasmine, and Ava was sitting in front of Kai. You felt a pang of jealousy as you watched Ava’s eyes travel up and down Kai’s upper torso. 

“Girl, you see this shit?” You whispered to Jasmine.

“Yes.” She said as she rolled her eyes.

It wasn’t that y’all disliked Ava. Well… Over the years, you and her relationship changed. You two used to be somewhat close, but it always seemed like you were her sidekick. You two were friends since you were in fourth grade. As soon as you met Jasmine in eighth grade and started becoming good friends with her, Ava became jealous. She would act shady towards you and people would tell you that she would talk shit about you behind your back. Your mother always told you that she was jealous of you, but you still keep forgiving her. You would feel bad if you kicked her to the curb, but you might just consider it.

“So Kai, are you new?” She said with a smile.

What the fuck else would he be, it’s not like he was here last year.

All four of you shared a look as you watched the interaction in front of you.

“Yeah, I just moved here two days ago.” He said as he scratched his head.

“So how do you know Y/N?” She said, sounding a little jealous when she said it. Kai smiled when he heard her mention your name.

“She’s my next door neighbor and we talked more when her parents invited my family to their cookout.” He said and she side-eyed you.

“Hm, so where was my invite?” She said as she looked at you. You just shrugged your shoulders.

“Must have forgotten to tell you.” You said and she gave you a fake smile and you gave her one back.

“Which lunch do you have?” She said as she ran her hands down his arms.

“Can she be anymore obvious?” Tianna said as she rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t even look interested.”

“I have B lunch with Y/N.”

“We got B lunch too.” Jasmine said, referring to her and the twins.

“Oh wow. I have A lunch.” She said with a pout. “Maybe you can switch to A.” She said to him.

“Nah, I’m good with B.” He said, looking a little annoyed.

“So I have to have lunch by myself?” She said with a hurt expression.

“I guess you do.” You said sarcastically and she gave you a look. She was about to say something, but the bell interrupted her sentence.

“Come on Kai. We gotta get to class.” You said as you grabbed his hand and got up. “Bye y’all.” You said as you walked away with him, leaving her looking flabbergasted.

The day went by fairly quickly. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was the first day of school, so your only homework was to have your parents sign the syllabuses. After your first two classes, you met up with the girls and Kai at lunch. Ava said some slick shit to you during the transition from A to B lunch, but you just ignored her. You went to your last two classes after lunch and before you knew it, the bell rang for dismissal.

“So… what did you think?” You asked Kai as you both walked home from the bus stop.

“I liked all of your friends, but I liked Jasmine the most. She’s really funny and outgoing.”

“That’s my best friend.” You said. You looked to your right to see that you were in front of his house.

“Bye Y/N. See you tomorrow.” He said as he waved,

“Bye Kai.” You said as you waved back. You pulled your key out of your pocket and unlocked the door.

“Hey baby. Did you have fun at school.” Your mother said as she was sitting at the table on her laptop. She had the day off and was using every minute of her free time.

“Yeah, I had fun.”

“Did you talk to that little girl?” She said, referring to Ava.

“Yeah, she kept flirting with Kai, but I don’t think he was interested.” She just shook her head and continued what she was doing. Since you didn’t have any real homework, you decided to take a well deserved nap after your long day. You changed into some more comfortable clothes, got under the covers and put your phone on the charger. Not even five minutes into your nap, you heard the ringtone of your phone. “Yo, who the fuck is calling me?” You exclaimed, turning over to see the caller ID. 

Ava💅🏽

What does she want now?, you thought to yourself as you hit “Accept” and her face showed up on your screen.

“Hey.” She said with a smile. “Did I call you at a bad time?”

“I mean… I was taking a nap.”

“Oh.” She said as she looked to the side. “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“Today.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“You right. You shouldn’t have.”

“Y/N. Don’t be like that.”

“No, I will.” You said, getting mad. “Ever since we were kids, you always acted like you were jealous of me. You always talk bad to me like we’re not friends. I haven’t done shit to you for you to be treating me like this.” It was silent for a little bit before she responded.

“Y/NN, I’m sorry. I never realized you felt that way.”

“Well I did.”

“I promise that I’ll treat you better. You’ve been a good friend to me ever since we were kids. I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship by being bitch.” She said. “Y/N, can you please forgive me.”

You didn’t respond immediately after she spoke. You thought about what you were gonna say and whether you were gonna forgive her or not.

We’ve been friends for forever. That doesn't mean anything though. She sounds genuine though. Maybe I should forgive her. What harm will that cause?

“Okay. I forgive you.” She started cheering but you interrupted her. “I swear if you treat me like that again, I’m done.” You said with a serious face.

“Y/NN I promise I won’t do it again. I don’t wanna risk losing you as a friend.” She said with a smile. “Love you girl.”

“Love you too.” You playfully rolled your eyes.

“Oh and before you go, I got a question.” She said. You nodded your head, telling her to continue. “Do you like Kai?”

Heat rushed to your cheeks at the mention of his name.

“Is it that obvious?” You said as you put your face in your hands in embarrassment.

“Yeah, just a little.” You gave her a look. “Nah, it’s obvious that you like him.”

“Ugh. He probably doesn’t even feel the same way, yet it’s clear as day that I like him.”

“Ask him out.” She said as she shrugged her shoulders.

“Hell naw, what if he rejects me?” You said, looking at her as if she had two heads.

“That’s life. You’re gonna get rejected at some point.”

“Imma just keep my feelings to myself.”

“What if I asked him for you?”

“Asked him what?’

“If he likes you.”

“What? No. That’s childish. I could just ask him myself.”

“Look, I’m just tryna help.” She said as she put her hands up.”Well, Imma let you get back to your nap though. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.” She said and hung up. After getting off the phone with Ava, you pulled up Jasmine’s contact and pressed the Facetime button.

“Hey bitch.” She said when the call connected.

“Girl, guess who just called me, apologizing?”

“Who?”

“Ava.”

“I know not.” She said as she started laughing. “She was talking all that shit today, now she wanna apologize.” She said as she shook her head, braids falling in her face. “I hope you didn’t accept it.” You looked off to the side, avoiding eye contact. “Y/N. Really.”

“I felt bad. She seemed sincere with her apology.”

“And you believed that shit?” She said with a blank face.

“She’s my friend.”

“And? She constantly treats you like this, what makes you think she won’t do it again?” She said, sounding upset.

“I don’t know. But I told her this is the last time I’m forgiving her.”

“Watch her do that shit again.” She said. You just shrugged your shoulders.

“I guess we’ll have to see.”

Over the course of a month, you and Kai grew closer. As friends unfortunately. You still haven’t gained the courage to ask him out. You were both at your house, working on your project. Since he was your only friend in art class, you chose each other as partners for your project. For the project, each person had to make a portrait of their partner, using whatever medium they wanted. Kai chose to do graphite while you chose watercolor. Your painting was actually coming together quite well. Kai’s on the other hand…

“Kai, what the fuck is that?” You said while laughing.

“It’s you.” He said, looking hurt. But you continued laughing. “I’m trying, damn.” He said with a pout. Your laughing died down after a few seconds.

“I’m sorry.” You said as you put your hand on his shoulder. “It’s not that bad.” You said. As soon as you looked at the drawing again, you tried holding in a laugh.

“Fuck you.” He said with a laugh as he pushed you lightly. “Let me see yours since you wanna laugh so bad.” He said as he leaned over to see your painting. “Oh wow. That’s actually good.” He said in awe. “It looks just like me.”

“Thank you.” You said with a smile. You looked up at him to see him staring at you. It went on for a few seconds before your mother interrupted.

“Y/N! Come down here and help me with the groceries!” She said from downstairs. You sighed as you got up from your spot on the bed.

“I’ll be back.” You said as you opened and closed the door and went downstairs.

Kai continued working on his drawing when he heard a ding!

He looked at his phone to see a text from an unknown number.

Unknown: Hey

Kai: Who is this?

Unknown: Ava

“Ava? Why is she texting me.” He said with a confused look on his face. He just shrugged his shoulders and changed the contact name.

Kai: How did you get my number?

Ava: I asked around

Kai: Okay

Kai: Not weird at all

Ava: So how are you and Y/N?

Kai: We’re good

Kai: Why?

Ava: Just wondering

Ava: Do you like her?

“What the hell?” He said, looking at his phone screen in bewilderment. “Why is she asking me all these questions.”

Kai: I don’t know

Kai: I mean, if she doesn’t like me then there’s no point in asking her

Kai: Do you know if she likes me?

Ava: I don’t think she does

Kai: What do you mean she doesn't like me?

Kai: It seems like she does

Ava: She acts like that towards all her male friends

Ava: she told me herself that she doesn’t like you

Ava: I asked her

Kai: Are you sure?

Kai: I was going to ask her out today

Ava: Kai, I wouldn’t lie to you, that’s not my intentions

Ava: I asked her last month when I was on the phone with her

Ava: She said you’re not her type

Kai: Wow

Ava: She told me that she sees you as a friend

Kai was a little hurt to say the least. He grew to like you over the course of a month, and was going to ask you out. He wasn’t in the mood to work on his project anymore. He just wanted to go home and play video games.

 Kai: Well, thanks for telling me

He sent Ava a quick text and got up to pack his things. Just as he put his last item in his bag, you came back into your room.

“Sorry that took so long, she’s extra when it comes to putting groceries up.” You said. You noticed that all of his things were packed up. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah.” He said bluntly as he threw his bag over his shoulder. He passed by you without another word.

“Oh, well-” The sound of the door closing interrupted your sentence. “Bye.” You said as you put your head down in sorrow.

The next day felt off. The walk to the bus stop felt awkward as you and Kai walked in silence. He didn’t talk to you the whole day, until you broke the silence on the way back home.

“Hey, did I do something to offend you?” You said to him as you paused. He stopped walking too and turned to you. “You haven’t talked to me all day. I was just wondering if I hurt you in any way.” He sighed.

“You didn’t offend me. I was just thinking. I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“It’s okay.”

“We cool?”

“Yeah.” You said with a smile and he smiled back. You too decided that you would go to his house to work on the project. It was actually going good, considering the tension earlier on in the day.

“I think my drawing is getting better.” Kai said. He started over during class since the other drawing wasn’t as good. You leaned over to look at his drawing.

“Okay Kai, I see you.” You said as you congratulated him. “Good job.” You said as you gave him a high five.

“You weren’t saying this yesterday.” he said as he squinted his eyes at you.

“Because it didn’t look like that yesterday.” You said with a shrug of the shoulders. He just scoffed and continued with his drawing. After a few hours of progress, you two decided to continue tomorrow and chill for the remainder of the day. You were on your phone watching a show on Netflix while Kai was on the phone with a certain someone. He was so into his phone that he didn’t notice you staring at him.

“You laughing a little too hard over there sir.” You said, startling him. He played it off and chuckled. “You’ve been smiling the whole time you’ve been on the phone.”

“No I haven’t.” He said as he blushed.

“Yes you have. Who is it?” You said as you nudged his shoulder with yours. You tried to play it off like you weren’t jealous, but deep down, you were. Jealous of the thought of someone else making him get that flustered.

“It’s nobody.” He said as he continued blushing. You sighed dramatically.

“Kai. Come on. Tell me. We’re friends.” You said as you shook his shoulders. “Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.”

“Okay, okay. Damn.” He said as you stopped shaking him.

“Yay.” You said as a smile grew on your face.

You're a damn good actress Y/N, you thought to yourself. You weren’t ready for his answer though.

“It’s Ava.” Your smile immediately dropped after hearing his answer.

“Ava?” You said, shock written all over your face.

“Ava? Light skin? Long, red faux locs? My friend? That Ava?”

“Yeah.” He said as he made a face.

“When did y’all start talking?”

“A month ago. I asked her out today.”

“You asked her out?!” You said a little too loud.

“Yeah, I did. Is that a problem?” He said with an attitude. You suppressed your feelings and continued speaking.

“No, I don’t have a problem.” Yes you do. “What did she say?” You said, fake smiling.

“She said yes.” He said with a shrug.

That backstabbing bitch. How dare she?

You were having mixed emotions. You were feeling enraged because of the fact that you told her that you liked Kai, yet she said yes to him. But you were sad too. Kai was the first boy you had real feelings for. Yeah, you had the occasional crushes throughout the years, but this was different. You also didn’t appreciate the facial expression that he was sporting. It seemed like he told you that he was dating her just to get you upset. You started feeling emotional.

Bitch you better not cry in front of him, you thought to yourself as you felt your eyes watering. I have to get out of here.

You took your phone out of your pocket, texted yourself and then put it back.

Ding!

You took your phone back out and tapped on the message.

“My mom said it’s time for me to go home.” You lied, making sure your voice didn’t crack.

“Okay. See you tomorrow.” He said as he got back on his phone. You packed your stuff up quickly and left.

As soon as you got into the comfort of your bedroom, the tears fell. Your body shook as sobs escaped your mouth. You put your hand over your mouth to conceal your sobs, making sure no one in the house heard. You felt pathetic crying over a boy who obviously didn’t feel the same way about you, but you couldn’t stop the tears. I need someone to talk to, you thought as you pulled your phone out and tapped on you and Jasmine’s conversation.

You: You were right

You: I should have listened to you.

Jazzy💖: What you mean?

Jazzy💖: What happened?

You: Ava happened

As soon as the text delivered, your phone started ringing as you got a Facetime call from Jasmine. You hit the “accept” button and her face popped up on the screen.

“What did that bitch do?” Jasmine said with a frown on her face. It was obvious that she was mad. She was about to go off when she noticed your face wet with tears. “Aww, baby. Are you crying? I swear Imma beat her ass when I see her. What did she do?” You tried talking, but every time the words tried to come out, you would gasp. “Take your time.” you nodded your head as you wiped the tears from your eyes. After a few minutes when you could talk properly. You told her what happened. 

“Wait. So you telling me that she asked you if you liked Kai then had the nerve to say yes when he asked her out?” She said and you nodded. “That bitch.”

“You don’t have to say ‘I told you so,’ I already know it was dumb of me to trust her.”

“Y/NN, I wasn’t going to say that. You’re just a forgiving person. I’m not gonna get on you for that. But now you know that you can’t trust her.” She said and you nodded. You stopped sniffling after a while and calmed yourself down. “You okay sis?” You just shrugged.

“I’ll be fine. It’s getting late, so Imma go take a shower and go to sleep.” You said as you yawned.

“Okay Y/NN. See you tomorrow girl.” 

“Okay, bye.” You said as you pressed the “x,” ending the call. You got up from your bed to get some pajamas out of your closet. You walked to the bathroom, and turned the water on, making sure that it was the right temperature. You pulled the knob up, causing the water to come out of the head. Usually, you listened to music while you were showering. You chose not to this time, wanting the water hitting the shower floor the only sound in the bathroom. You sighed as you stepped into the somewhat hot water, feeling a little better after recent events. Having no music caused you to be in your thoughts and reflect the day. You felt betrayed, deceived, foolish for trusting Ava and believing her lies. Of course she wasn’t going to change. She’s always been this way. You just had to find that out the hard way. After a while of thinking and bathing under the water, you turned it off, got out, put on lotion and deodorant and put on your pajamas. On your way to your room, you ran into your brother.

“You okay Y/NN?” He asked, looking worried. It caught you off guard. He usually wasn’t concerned about your problems. You didn’t want to put your worries on your brother.

“No, I’m okay Caleb. Just tired.” You said, trying to seem believable. He didn’t think much of it and just shrugged his shoulders.

“See you tomorrow.” He said as he walked to his room. You walked to yours too.

It usually takes you a while to go to sleep, but with all the shit on your brain, it took even longer. Minutes upon minutes of you tossing and turning. You just couldn’t go to sleep. Am I really losing sleep over a boy?, you thought to yourself as you huffed. 

Eventually you went to sleep and woke up feeling a little better. That was until you left your house and saw Kai walking out of his also. The tension from yesterday returned and it only got worse as the days went on. You two stopped talking as much as you did before. You hung out with Jasmine and the twins while he hung out with Ava and some new friends that he met. You would talk in the mornings and the afternoons when you walked to and from the bus stop. If it wasn’t for the fact that you two lived next to each other, you wouldn’t even be talking. If you thought about it, you didn’t even have to talk to him since the project was due today and you two already presented earlier. You were on the way home with Kai hot on your heels. He kept rambling on about him going on a date with Ava, like you really gave a fuck about their relationship.

“I don’t even know where we should go. I was going to take her to a restaurant but she said that that was boring.” He said, you just rolled your eyes. “Where do you think I should take her?” He said as he got in front of you, walking backwards. You just shrugged. “Okay…” He said as he gave you a look. “Anyway, I was thinking about getting her a necklace. I know we’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but I think she would really like it.”

Can he please shut the hell up about his relationship?, You thought to yourself as you mentally rolled your eyes.

“I’ll probably buy it today. Do you wanna go with me?” He said as he turned forward and continued walking.

“Honestly Kai, I just want to go home and go to sleep. You said with an attitude. You were fed up with him and his rambling.

“What’s wrong with you?” He said as he stopped walking and turned to face you.

“I’m tired of hearing you go on and on about your girlfriend. No offense, but I really don't give a fuck.” You said as you shrugged.

“Oh, I see. That’s why you’ve been acting so weird lately.” he said as he crossed his arms.

“I’ve been acting weird?” You said as you pointed your finger at your chest.

“Yes, you have. You’ve been acting distant this whole time.”

“I really haven’t though. If anyone’s been acting distant, it’s you.” 

“You know why I’ve been distant? Because every time I bring up my girlfriend, you start acting weird.” He said as he frowned.

“I have my reasons for acting weird.”

“And what are those reasons?”

“She’s using you.” You said. If looks could kill, you would be dead right now. You’ve never seen him this mad.

“What the fuck are you talking about? How is she using me?” He said as his voice got louder.

“I know her. I know how she can be.”

“So you’re saying that she’s only dating me cuz why? Cuz you like me and she’s trying to get back at you for something?” He said. You just sat there. It’s not like you could confess now, he already has a girl. “I find that hard to believe. Since I’m not ‘your type.’” He said as he quoted ‘your type.’

“What? What are you talking about ‘my type.’?” You said as your voice got louder too.

“Never mind that.” He said as he turned back around. You weren’t having it though. You put your hand on his shoulder and turned him back to you.

“No, what are you trying to say?” You said. He sighed as he thought about what he was about to say.

“Just because you’re jealous of Ava doesn’t mean you get to talk shit about her. I really like her, so if you can’t accept that, then…” He took a pause.

I know he’s not about to say what I think he’s about to say.

“Then we can’t be friends.” He finally said. You looked up at him, hurt evident in your eyes.

“Wow.” You laughed sarcastically. “So you’re gonna choose her over your friend?” He just shrugged.

“Guess so.”

“You know what? Don’t come begging for my forgiveness when she fucks you over.” You said as you pushed past him.

“Fuck you Y/N.” He said from behind you.

“Fuck you too Kai.” You said as you walked to your front door, unlocked it and walked inside.

After that day, your relationship with Kai changed. It was basically non-existent. He no longer waited for you in the mornings to walk to the bus stop together, he didn’t sit next to you on the bus, him and Ava sat at a separate table from you four after she changed her lunch to lunch B, and he even changed where he sat in class. It was weird to you at first, since you two talked everyday, but over time, you got used to it. Now there’s only a month left of school, and everything seems normal now.

“Ew, now that’s just nasty.” Brianna said as she looked to the left of the cafeteria. You followed her eyes with your own and saw Ava and Kai locking lips in the distance.

“Are they really doing that shit in school?” Jasmine said, making the same facial expression as Brianna. You just shrugged your shoulders, not really caring. After you two stopped talking, you stopped caring about anything that they had going on. “You okay Y/NN?” She asked as she turned to you and rubbed your shoulder.

“I’m fine. Let them do what they do. He’ll learn sooner or later.” You said as you shrugged again.

“I just hate how she did you. That was dirty. She knew you had a crush on him, even had the nerve to apologize and seem like she was really sorry, just to go behind your back and date the dude that you like. Well, liked.” Tianna said as she shook her head. Truth is, you still had feelings for him. It was foolish and you knew that, but you couldn’t help it. After what felt like eternity, they pulled apart. 

“I just wanna smack that smile off her face.” Jasmine said as she bawled her fists. You grabbed her fist with both of your hands, causing her to look at you.

“Jas, I’m fine. Seriously, I don’t care anymore.” She nodded her head and unclenched her fist.

“Can I fucking help you?” Ava yelled from where they were sitting.

“Uh uh, who the fuck is she talking to?” Jasmine said as she looked around.

“I'm talking to you.” Ava responded. “Y’all so busy staring at me and my boyfriend, is there something I can help you with?” You could tell that Jasmine was getting mad. Her hands were clenched so tight that they started turning white.

“Jas, calm down.” You said, rubbing her shoulder like she did to you.

“No, I won’t fucking calm down.” She said as her voice got louder. “This bitch had the nerve to act like she was your friend, then went behind your back. She needs her ass beat.” She said as she stood up.

“You think I’m scared just cuz you stood up?” Ava said, also standing up.

“Ava, stop.” Kai said as he pulled her arm, trying to sit her back down. She yanked her arm from his hold, walking a little closer.

“You don't have to be scared. Just know I’m about to beat your ass.” Jasmine said as she got closer too. You stood up and pulled her back.

“Jasmine, she’s not worth getting suspended over. Just ignore her. We can go somewhere else.”

“You might want to listen to your friend.” Ava said as she smirked.

“Can you shut up please?” You said as you turned to her.

“Who are you talking to?” She said. By now, Kai was standing behind her, making sure she didn’t get any closer.

“I’m talking to you. Now go back to your table, and sit the fuck down like your boyfriend told you to.” You said, putting emphasis on “boyfriend” as you looked at Kai. He made eye contact with you, looking a little guilty.

Don’t feel guilty now, you thought to yourself. Ava looked between the two of you with a look on her face.

“Oh, I see what this is about. You’re jealous.” She said as she pointed at you. “All of you are.” The four of you looked at each other, confusion written all over your faces.

“What are you talking about?” Brianna said.

“You four. Ever since I met each one of y’all, you’ve been jealous of me.” Even Kai looked bewildered.

“What could we possibly be jealous of?” You said. You noticed that most of the students in the cafeteria tuned in to the argument going on, some even pulled out their phones, anticipating a fight to happen.

“My boyfriend.” You all looked at each other, then started laughing.

“Are you serious? You really think we’re jealous of you?” Jasmine said.

“Yes. you’re all jealous of me. I actually have a man and y’all don’t.” She said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Okay. Whatever.” Jasmine said as she turned her back to Ava, about to sit down at her seat.

“You out of all them should be jealous. Don’t wanna end up like your mama now do you?” Ava said with a smirk as she crossed her arms. Jasmine paused her movement. The cafeteria was dead silent. All eyes were on Ava as multiple people gave her dirty looks. Almost everyone knew that Jasmine’s dad left her mother last school year. He just up and left without any word. Before anyone could process what happened, Jasmine ran over to where Ava was standing and punched her in her face. Ava realized what happened and tried to fight back, but she wasn’t successful. A crowd formed around the two and there was nothing you could do.

“You have some nerve bringing up my mother like that. You really are a stone-cold bitch.” Jasmine said as she continued hitting her. Ava reached her arm up to grab a handful of Jasmine’s braids and yanked her head forward, causing Jasmine to lose her balance and fall.

“Ava stop!” Kai said as he grabbed her, trying to loosen her hold on Jasmine’s braids, but it was no use. 

Rrrrrrriiiiiiinnnngggg! 

The bell rang, telling everyone to go to class or lunch C, but no one budged.

“Move! Move out of the way!” You heard. You looked to where the sound was to see teachers moving the students out of the way to get to the fight. Kai moved out of the way as a couple of teachers went over to them.

“Let go!” One of the teachers said to Ava, trying to loosen her grip. She still continued to grip her hair. “Let go of her hair or you’ll get even more days for your suspension. Let her hair go!” She yelled and Ava loosened her tight grip on Jasmine’s hair. The teachers escorted the both of them out of the cafeteria to the front office.

“Show’s over, get back to class!” Another teacher yelled as everyone started leaving the cafeteria.

“Damn that shit really happened.” Brianna said as you three walked to class. You made eye contact with Kai once again, but you broke the contact and continued to walk.

“I hope Jas is okay.” You said. You knew how hurt she was when her father left. She just recently got over it just for Ava to bring it back up. 

“We’ll see later on.” Tianna said as you three walked into your class.

“They said I’m suspended for a week since I’m the one who threw the first punch.” Jasmine said. Your four decided to do a group Facetime after school so Jasmine could tell y’all what happened.

“How many days did she get.” You asked.

“That bitch only got three.” Jasmine said as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh wow.” Tianna said. Brianna just shook her head. “If anything, she provoked you. They should have given her the same amount of days.”

“You okay Jas?” You asked. She hesitated for a bit then answered.

“Yeah, I’m fine. She just really made me mad. I just blacked out. Hope I didn’t scare y’all.”

“You didn’t scare us. And your anger was justified. That bitch brought up your mother.” You said, getting mad all over again.

“I don’t know how this week is gonna go.” She said.

“You have first period with me, second period with Y/N, and third period with Brianna. And your fourth period is near ours so we can just go and pick up your work for you. We’ll bring it to you after school.” Tianna said.

“Y’all would do that for me?” Jasmine said as she smiled warmly.

“Of course. We’re best friends.” You replied.

“Aww.” She said as she wiped fake tears. “I love you guys.

“We love you too.” You three said in unison.

“Y’all, my mom’s calling me.” She said. You all said bye and she hung up. You three talked for a while before you all hung up to go to sleep.

Two Days Later

Today was Saturday. The stress of this week and school in general was getting to you. Your parents and your brother went out to eat, but you decided to stay in and sleep. You were just thankful that this was your last month of school. Then you would be free… for three months until the next school year started. You were sleeping peacefully in your nice warm bed until your phone started ringing. You sucked your teeth in annoyance as you turned over to see who was calling you.

Mom💙💙

“Why is she calling meee?” You whined, just wanting to go back to sleep. You hit “accept” and put the phone on speaker.

“Hey baby, you still sleep?” She asked in a cheery tone.

“I was.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for waking you up. I was calling to ask you if you wanted some food. I can get it to go and bring it to you when we get home”

“Yes please.” You told her your order and thanked her, then she hung up. Just when you were about to go back to sleep, you heard your phone dinging, meaning that you got a text message.

Kai

What the fuck could he possibly want?, you thought to yourself as you opened the message.

Kai: Hey, can we talk please?

“Now he wants to talk.” You said as you laughed sarcastically.

You: You sure your girlfriend’s not gonna get jealous?

Kai: We broke up

You: Oh

Kai: Y/N please, I really need to talk to you

You sat there and thought for a few minutes. Should you really invite him over to talk? I mean, you two haven’t spoken all year. Are you even ready to talk to him? 

After thinking to yourself, you decided to invite him over.     

You: Alright 

You: You can come over

Kai: I’ll be over in a few minutes

You were starting to regret inviting him over. You didn’t know if you could even face him. The last time you two talked, you were arguing and you left off on a bad note. What would happen this time?

Ding Dong!

Here goes nothing, you thought to yourself as you left your room and walked down the stairs. Each step you took, your nerves grew more and more. You finally reached the door and felt your beating rapidly.

Girl calm down, it’s not that serious, you thought to yourself as you took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hey.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Hey.” You said nonchalantly as you turned around, beckoning him to follow you. He closed the door and followed you up the stairs to your room. You sat on your bed and he just stood there awkwardly. “Okay. Spit it out. What did you want to tell me?” You said, wanting this conversation to end soon.

“Um…” He stood there for a few seconds, thinking about what he would say next. “I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry.”

“Now you want to apologize?” You said as you looked at him.

“Can I finish please?” He said then continued. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you this whole school year. I shouldn’t have given our friendship up over nothing and I should have listened to you about Ava.” He said as he went to sit beside you.

“What do you mean, what happened?” You said as you turned to him.

“She cheated on me, so I broke up with her. That wasn’t the only reason though.” He said as he sighed. “I realized on Thursday that she’s not a person that I would want to be with. I mean, when she brought up what happened with Jasmine, and just the way she treated you all. I couldn’t be with her. She’s a trash person and I don’t want to have to deal with her anymore.” 

“Wow.” You said in shock.

“Y/N, you don’t have to forgive me, but please know that I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I should have never let Ava come in between our friendship.” He said as he looked at you with pleading eyes.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.” You said. You sat there, thinking. Should you forgive him? He seems sincere with his apology and he knows what he did was wrong. 

Maybe I should forgive him, you thought to yourself.

“I forgive you Kai.” You said. 

“You do?” He said, you just nodded. He jumped up from the bed, taking you with him as he hugged you. “Thank you, I really missed talking to you.”

“Kai.” You groaned. He pulled you two apart “Yes I forgive you.” You said as you sat back down. “I just have one question.” You said and he nodded. “Why did you start dating Ava?”

“If I’m going to be completely honest, I didn’t like her when we first started dating.” You made a confused face so he continued. “She texted me that day when we were working on the project. She told me that I wasn���t your type and that you didn’t like me that way.”

“Wait, why did she tell you that?” You asked, then realization hit you. “Kai, did you like me?” You asked. He nodded his head.

“I was asking her that because I knew you were friends at the time, so I thought she would tell me the truth. I was a little mad at you after that so I went home. Then later on, she asked me out. I only said yes because I wanted to get back at you. Make you jealous.” He said as he put his head down.

“Well it worked.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for that.”

“You know what’s funny?” You said. He lifted his head up and looked at you. “On the first day of school, she apologized to me, acting like she was my friend, then asked me if I liked you.”

“What did you say?” He said as he looked you in your eyes.

“I said yes.”

“Wow, so she played us both.” He said as he chuckled.

“Seems like it.”You replied. You two sat there for a while before he spoke.

“Do you still like me?” He asked, turning to look at you. You sat there for a few seconds, thinking of what would happen if you told him the truth.

“Yeah, I still do.” You said. He just smiled. “Did you ever stop liking me?”

He sighed.

“To be honest, not really.” He said and you smiled too. “You’ll probably say no, but can I take you on a date?” He said. Your smile got wider.

“I would love to.” You said as you looked him in his eyes. You two started to lean closer to one another. “It’s funny how we could have been a thing a lot sooner if we would have just talked to each other. We could have been confessed to each other.” You said with a chuckle.

“We really could have. We wasted this whole school year.” He said as he looked between your eyes and lips. “Can… I kiss you?” He said. You nodded your head, leaning closer until your lips were on his. This wasn’t your first kiss, but you were a little bit inexperienced. Kai didn’t seem to mind though, his smile widening. The kiss went on for a few minutes before you two pulled apart. You two gasped for breath as you placed your forehead on his. “Wish I could have done this a lot sooner.” He said. You laughed lightly as you kissed him again.

#txt #txt x reader #imagines #kpop imagines #ambw imagines #ambw fic #AMBW #ambw kpop #txt fic #hueningkai imagines

[steebharringt0n]

cat’s in the cradle

infant | toddler | child | teenager | young adult

a 5-part story exploring the relationship between billy hargrove and his first-born son, adam

pairing: billy hargrove x you

rating: t

a/n: thank you all for the feedback, this has been super fun to write so far and i’m so happy to see it receive so much love, if you’ve missed a part, I have linked them up top! enjoy!

---

part 3 - child

“Ma! I can’t find my baseball glove!”

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!”

“MA! MY GLOVE!”

“MOMMY!”

Your head was going to explode if your children would not shut up.

The Hargrove household was in it’s usual chaos mode. Backpacks and shoes had a permanent place by the front door, the living room wall was adorned with pictures of the kids, pictures of you and Billy, pictures of you, Billy and the kids, and a couple with Max and your parents in them. It was Saturday morning and Adam had his championship little league game. The Sunset Cliff Tigers were on a hot streak and as usual, the four of you were running late because your husband just loved to take his sweet time showering. You were in the kitchen quickly stuffing snacks and drinks for the team, it was your job as the coach’s wife to always bring after game snacks - plus you always brought the best snacks.

10-year old Adam came rushing into the kitchen, his square glasses adorning his face as he frantically searched around the area for his lucky baseball mitt. His blond hair had darkened out as he got older, turning into a dirty blond that matched Billy’s hair. All dressed up in his yellow and white striped uniform, you heard the loud clacking of his baseball cleats roam around the kitchen.

“Adam, you left it in the laundry room” you casually told him, zipping up the large snack bag.

Adam blinked blankly, then quickly turned on his heels and ran over to the laundry room. You heard small puttering steps come into the kitchen, accompanied by a mischievous giggle you knew too well.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!”

Ah, yes, Ava.

5-year old Ava Grace Hargrove was a carbon copy of you - minus the blue eyes. She had the same hair, same smile, same nose, and she even laughed the same way you did. 

But my god, was she nothing like you. She was everything Billy, and it terrified you.

The mere thought of her turning into an angry, rebellious teenager gave you nightmares. She was nothing like your sweet boy, in fact they were the complete opposite of each other. Ava threw tantrums, Ava hated eating her vegetables, and oh man, don’t even think about reading her a bedtime story - she found them incredibly boring. She was loud, rebellious, and had a knack for getting into trouble.

She got along swimmingly with her Auntie Max.

But she knew how to work her way around you and Billy. She had a look - pretty much the same look that Billy would give to charm his way through situations. She would hang her lower lip in a pout, bat her long eyelashes and suddenly you and Billy were turned into goo.

Billy more than you. She had him wrapped around his finger, she was always able to weasel her way out of getting into trouble when Billy was around. His little princess could do no wrong in his eyes. He was there for every boo-boo, every cold, every flu. He was incredibly protective of her, more than he was with you in high school, and that’s saying something.

With a loud sigh escaping your lips, you turned to face your daughter, “Yes baby?”

Standing barefoot, with her long barbie pajamas, she gave you a grin, “I want my cheerios”

You quickly whipped out a sandwich bag, shoving handful of cheerios and zipping it close.

Being a full time mom, and teacher had its perks. You were a master multi-tasker, simultaneously grading papers, cooking dinner, doing laundry, putting your kids to bed and still find time with your husband? You were like Wonder Woman in Billy’s eyes. 

You approached Ava, crouching down to her size. The bag of cheerios dangled in your hand, Ava went and tried to get a grab at it but you swiped it away before she could. She let out a angry grumble,

“You’ll get your cheerios when you go get dressed - we’re already late Ava Grace, I laid out your clothes for you on your bed, go change.” you ordered, your head gesturing towards her bedroom. Ava nodded at you, letting out a giggle before she scampered upstairs to her lilac colored room.

You scanned around the kitchen, making sure you didn’t forget anything else to pack. You had snacks, drinks, first-aid, sunscreen (yes, you were THAT mom). You heard the thundering footsteps of Billy come down the stairs, “Let’s go! We’re already late!” he shouted.

He poked his head into the kitchen flashing you a smile that still, at 30 years old, made you weak in the knees. “Ready momma?”

He donned on a yellow baseball cap, the words coach written in white, bold letter words. When Adam had expressed interest in little league, Billy jumped at the chance to coach his team. It was pretty much the only thing they had in common. Adam had no interest in cars, no interest in his dad’s lame old music, no interest in surfing, they had nothing in common.

Except for their love of baseball.

Billy and Adam held season passes to the San Diego Padres. They wouldn’t miss a game if their life depended on it. Hell, Billy even closed shop early one day in order to catch a game.

It was their thing, their little club, and your heart would swell when the two of them would come bursting into the house, their hands sticky from eating popcorn, their shirts stained with mustard from the hot-dogs, with large smiles on their faces, drunk on all the fun they had at the game.

Although they both couldn’t be any different, their love for baseball is what kept their bond tight.

“I’m waiting for our little hellraiser to get dressed” you told him, leaning forward on the kitchen island.

“My little Ava? My little princess who can do no wrong?” he dramatically feigned hurt, his hand placed over his heart.

He leaned over the kitchen island, meeting you halfway. Your noses grazed one another as you felt his minty breath on your face.

“What do I get when we win today?” he huskily spoke. After being together for over 10 years, you both were still crazy in love with each other since the first time he laid eyes on you when he walked into Hawkins High. Albeit you both were older, but his features had become more defined, his jaw more chiseled, his shoulders more broad - he still had that ugly tattoo on his shoulder (which both Adam and Ava marveled over) but he was still as sexy as ever.

“Hmm ... I dunno, maybe you’ll get to first base, maybe a little bit of second base ... not sure if you’ll hit a homerun though ... “ you playfully teased.

Billy’s raised an eyebrow, “Is that a challenge, Hargrove?”

“You bet your ass Hargrove”

“Ew, what are you guys doing?”

You quickly placed a peck on his lips as Adam’s voice broke the conversation between the two of you.

You smiled sweetly at your son who was now wearing a matching yellow baseball cap, walking over to him, “Nothing, did you find your glove?”

He pulled his old, ratted glove from under his arm, waving it in the air. “Got it right here, Ava! Let’s go!” he shouted at the stairs.

“I’m coming!” she shouted back, running from out of her room, her [Y/H/C] hair all wild as she carefully walked down the steps. All dressed up in her yellow overalls to match the team color, and white shoes, she looked absolutely adorable and for a second you forgot how much a little spitfire she could be.

“Daddy, daddy, I wore yellow for you!” she exclaimed happily, pushing her hair out of her face as she proudly showed off her yellow overalls. Billy scooped up his daughter, planting kisses all over her cheeks. He rested her on his hip, “I have my own cheerleader, whaddya know!”

You walked over to Billy and Ava and handed her the ziplock bag, she eagerly took it from your hands, and immediately started to shove the cheerios in her mouth.

The four of you quickly ushered out of the house, piling into Billy’s top of the line 1997 Honda CR-V, or as commonly known as, the family car. Billy’s poor old camero was collecting dust in the garage. He rarely had time to drive it around, but he knew one day he would pass on his first baby to Adam.

The drive to the baseball field was quick, but the crowds were already getting large. The Sunset Cliffs Tigers were going up against the Hillcrest Sharks - this was turning out to be a big game. Adam knew how difficult this team would be, but he wouldn’t let it effect his game. He didn’t want to let his father down.

Billy pulled the car into park, and Ava quickly jumped out of her booster seat, running towards the concession stand where you promised to buy her ice cream if she behaved well. You gave both your boys a good luck kiss (and a swat to Billy’s ass for good measure) as they headed down towards the coach’s box to huddle up with the team.

You caught up with Ava, who was having a hard time deciding on whether to choose chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Ultimately she ended up going with both. The two of you then found a spot on the bleachers, right behind the coach’s box as the game started to get underway.

The Tigers started out with a strong lead, hitting home runs left and right, but it was up until the 5th inning that the Sharks were quickly catching up to them. By the time the 9th inning rolled around the game was tied, 5-5, and it was a nail-biter.

Adam was on third base, he was so close to home base that he could feel it under his cleats. He pushed his glasses up, his neck turning towards you and Ava as you happily waved and gave him a thumbs up.

“You got this baby!” you shouted, Ava’s sticky hands that were covered in soft serve ice cream clapped along with you.

Suddenly, Adam got nervous. The crowds, the expectation, it all hit him at once.

He looked up at his father who could clearly read his nerves, and Billy called a time-out.

Adam jogged his way over to the coach’s box, a panicked expression on his face.

“Dad, I can’t do it, I can’t slide”

Billy crouched down to Adam’s height, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “Hey, hey, where did this come from?”

Adam shook his head, “I don’t wanna mess up, I don’t wanna lose.” Adam paused, sucking in a breath, “I don’t want to disappoint you”

Billy’s heart clenched at those words. It was like staring at a mirror when he gazed over at a nervous Adam. The painful memory of Neil berating him for not sliding properly at his own little league game suddenly entered his mind. He remember how terrified he was when Neil grabbed his arm, shaking him violently for not listening - for disappointing him.

For being a pussy.

But Billy isn’t Neil. He is nothing like Neil.

Billy placed both hands on Adam’s shoulder as he hung his head low. Billy lifted his son’s chin up, adjusting his glasses, and sweeping his sweaty hair out of his face.

“Win or lose, slide or not, I am proud of you no matter the outcome. You will never disappoint me Adam.”

Adam’s bottom lip trembled as he nodded at his father. Billy then stood up and engulfed his son in a tight hug. Billy pulled away, adjusting Adam’s yellow baseball cap. With a watery smile on his face, Adam jogged back to third base, a new wave of confidence instilled in him.

Jacob Richardson was up to bat, and as soon as the pitcher threw the ball, Jacob swung with all his might, the loud clack of the ball hitting the bat echoed throughout the field. All eyes were on Adam as he started to run towards home base. His cleats digging in the dirt, his arms woosh-ing by his side. He didn’t have time to think, but he went ahead and took the leap. 

He threw himself onto the ground, feeling the rocks pierce his skin, the dirt burning his arm as he slid towards the base. His glasses were complete dirty, obstructing his vision. He outstretched his arms until the felt the home base plate under him.

“SAFE!”

The crowd roared with excitement. Adam jumped up, swiping his glasses off his face to see his teammates rush towards him. Lifting him up on their shoulders and parading him around. You and Ava ran out to the field, running over to Billy who was being handed the championship trophy. You placed a big sloppy kiss on his mouth, he was grinning from ear to ear as you pulled away from him. Billy then ran out to his team, handing Adam the championship trophy as his teammates placed him on the ground.

“I did it dad! I slid!” Adam beamed, his entire face caked with dirt.

Billy swept Adam in a hug, “You did! and I am so, so proud you”

You and Ava ran out to the field, and as soon as Billy let Adam go from his hug, you pulled your baby boy and held him tight against your chest.

“Oh my baby boy is a little league champion! I am so proud of you!” you exclaimed.

“Ma .. you’re embarrassing me ...” he muttered as you started to clean away at his face. No son of yours was going to look dirty for the championship photo. You felt tears prick your eyes as you stared down at your boy, the pride you felt for him made you feel overwhelmed, and you had a take a second to calm yourself down.

You probably snapped a million pictures of the whole team, but the favorite picture you took was of the three people who you loved the most. Billy holding Ava in his arms, Adam standing right beside them with the championship trophy in his hands, showing it off with a proud smile.

After a long celebration with the team (with lots of cake and pizza) the four of you headed back towards the car. Ava being Ava, consumed way too much cake and had a sugar crash. She ended up passed out on Billy’s shoulder, crumbs of chocolate cake decorated her lips as small snores escaped from her mouth. Billy had his other arm wrapped around your shoulder, Adam walking right beside you with the trophy in his hands.

“So am I getting scoring a home-run tonight?” he cockily spoke in your ear, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

“Wait you guys are playing baseball tonight? Can I play?!” Adam suddenly interjected. Billy was apparently not a good whisperer.

Ava suddenly awoke from her slumber, her eyes wide and alert, “I wanna play too! I wanna play baseball! I wanna score homeruns!” she whined.

Billy’s eyes almost bulged out of his head, and you almost choked, “Ava you are never scoring a homerun” Billy managed to utter out.

This in turn caused Ava to start whining even more, and for Adam beg, to plead to play baseball with his parents.

Luckily they were too young to realize the sexual euphemism that Billy had tried on you.

You jabbed Billy on his side, throwing him a look, “Real smooth Casanova, real smooth”

---

tag list: @the-first-breath-of-autumn-air @justabeautiful-letdown @fab-notfat @tarahell @noodlenerd101 @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @letdecemberburninflames @kake-babe @barbarasbae @delqcour @wearewiththebands @oogachuggaoogaoogachugga

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagine

[aion-rsa]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Funniest Guest Cast Characters

https://ift.tt/3oTakdX

Warning: contains Brooklyn Nine-Nine spoilers.

Brooklyn Nine Nine is one of the funniest sitcoms around thanks to its fantastic ensemble cast and just-broad-enough humour blended with almost-realistic cop show elements. But that great regular cast are supported by an equally brilliant array of recurring characters and guest stars. In this list, we’re celebrating the funniest of the show’s less often-seen characters, those guest appearances who’ve turned up once or twice to inject a fresh burst of comic energy into the show.

Note that we’re not counting regular recurring characters like Adrian Pimento, Madeline Wuntch, or Kevin Cozner, aka Mr Raymond Holt. If they turn up more than once a year, or in more than three episodes in one season, they’re off the list.

12. Adam Sandler, played by himself in Operation: Broken Feather, Season 1, Episode 15

Adam Sandler’s appearance as himself in Season One is beautifully self-deprecating as well as funny. His deadpan delivery of “I’m a serious person” is hilarious in just the right way – of course the real Sandler is, presumably, as serious and as complex as anyone else, but he knows his own public persona and just how to play on it in the right way to raise a different kind of laugh. The interest in antiquities, the planned film about the Russian Revolution, it’s all funny – and somewhat undercut, even more amusingly, by his taunting of Jake straight afterwards. The whole scene did help to flush out a criminal though, so it wasn’t a total loss for Jake.

Funniest moment: Admitting his “serious” Russian Revolution film features Kevin James as Trotsky, and a wife who doesn’t wear a bra through the whole film.

11. Geoffrey Hoytsman, played by Chris Parnell in two episodes in Season 2

When Jake’s lawyer girlfriend Sophia uses her boss as a transparent excuse to break up with him (by going on ‘pause’), Jake wilfully misunderstands and decides that the boss is the key problem, so he sets off to make the man like him. It all goes horribly wrong when Jake finds Hoytsman snorting cocaine in the bathroom, which Hoytsman claims he was doing accidentally while screaming loudly that Jake is arresting him to the whole room of lawyers. Sophia somehow still ends up blaming Jake – probably because she simply wanted to break up with him in the first place – and Hoytsman ends up returning to take Jake hostage and quite seriously threaten his life later in the season. Parnell’s over-the-top performance as a character who is, of course, high for much of the time, is what really sells the character.

Funniest moment: Sniffing cocaine off his collar in the middle of the police precinct.

10. Jessica Day, played by Zooey Deschanel in The Night Shift, Season 4, Episode 4

Back in 2016, both New Girl and Brooklyn Nine Nine were active Fox sitcoms, so the network decided to do a crossover event in which the New Girl characters travelled to New York City and ran into the 99. Most of the crossover scenes actually ended up in the New Girl episode, but Zooey Deschanel’s character Jess Day did make a brief appearance in the otherwise stand-alone Brooklyn Nine Nine half of the crossover. While the New Girl episode provided a lot more context for Jess’s feelings about New York and her stress level surrounding Schmidt’s mom’s car and the soup she’s carrying, her appearance as an apparently slightly nutty woman who resists Jake’s attempts to commandeer the car is an entertaining interlude during the half hour.  

Funniest moment: Insisting that Jake’s oath to serve and protect applies to her soup.

9. Philip Davidson, played by Sterling K. Brown in The Box, Season 5, Episode 14

If this were a list of the show’s ‘best’ guest characters, rather than ‘funniest’, the top ranked would surely be Philip Davidson, played by Sterling K. Brown. ‘The Box’ is a tight, taught bottle episode that takes full advantage of Brooklyn Nine Nine’s hybrid status as both sitcom and cop show, and Brown’s Davidson forms a strong third of a triangle in this three-header with Holt and Peralta. It’s a really strong performance, but given that he’s playing a tough-to-crack murder suspect, not really the funniest, exactly. Still, he gets a good few laughs when appropriate over the course of a really engaging half hour of comedy/cop show crossover.

Funniest moment: When Davidson finally cracks, he cracks hard – his confession is equal parts triumphant, cathartic, and hilarious.

8. Karen Haas, played by Maya Rudolph in Coral Palms Parts 1&2, Season 4, Episodes 1&2

Maya Rudolph has a good line going in slightly weary authority figures (see also: The Good Place). Handling Holt and Peralta while they’re in witness protection is not an easy job and her exasperation at Jake’s refusal to accept his situation is well played. Haas is really funny, though, when she starts bringing her own issues into her official duties, clearly trying to get permission to cheat on her husband from someone, anyone – and Holt is happy to oblige.

Funniest moment: Whoever it is she wants to sleep with is “really young” – something that clearly shouldn’t be funny, but the face Rudolph pulls as she says it is what sells it.

7. Lin-Manuel Miranda as David Santiago in The Golden Child, Season 6, Episode 9

Miranda is marvellously smarmy as Amy’s too-perfect brother, her demanding parents’ favourite, who snubs popular culture and shows off by saving people’s lives (including Amy’s own husband). Amy’s delighted reaction when he’s arrested for cocaine possession and deep disappointment when he turns out to be innocent are highlights, but the funniest scene by far is the dance-off between David and Amy, in which both comprehensively demonstrate that dancing is not among the Santiago family’s many strengths.

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Funniest moment: David thinks elbows should form a bigger part of a dance routine than they really should.

6. Frederick, played by Nick Offerman in Ava, Season 3, Episode 8

Any time we meet Captain Holt’s friends and family, many of whom share his stoic, Vulcan-like demeanour, it’s always hilarious. JK Simmons as his old friend Dillman very nearly made the list, but he was just pipped to the post by Ron Swanson – sorry, Nick Offerman – as Holt’s ex-boyfriend. There’s a lot of crossover between Parks and Recreation and Brooklyn Nine Nine among the cast and crew and Offerman isn’t even the only Parks & Rec alumnus to appear on this list, but he’s probably the one whose appearance most quickly calls to mind his earlier character. The idea that Holt’s ex-boyfriend is Ron F-ing Swanson is just genius. OK, Frederick lacks Swanson’s magnificent moustache (though he has a glorious beard) and he’s even more brusque and stand-off-ish, but he’s a perfect match for Holt, even more in their post-break-up mutual antagonism than we imagine they were in their relationship.

Funniest moment: His straight-faced insistence at the door that they have a “wooden-duck situation”.

5. Mark Devereaux, played by Nathan Fillion in Serve & Protect, Season 4, Episode 14

It’s always funny any time police characters in a cop show visit the set of a TV cop show, and for added meta humour, in this case the actor playing the fictional detective is played by an actor who works on a cop show (albeit as a non-cop character). Phew! That’s a lot of layers of meta. Nathan Fillion’s pompous star who apparently thinks playing a detective makes him a detective is very funny, and it gets better when it turns out that was a ruse to cover up his own petty criminal activity before he folds like wet paper. It’s just a shame we didn’t get to see more of him.

Funniest moment: Devereaux tries turning on the angry detective act from his show to cover up his own crime, only to be confronted with quite a lot more than a “shred” of evidence and fold immediately.

4. Eleanor Horstweil, played by Kathryn Hahn in Hostage Situation, Season 3, Episode 11

We heard a lot about Boyle’s ex-wife over the first couple of seasons, partly because Boyle was still living in her basement, hanging out with her new husband Hercules. We knew what sort of person Eleanor was when Boyle explained that he gets the beach house from December to February. When we finally meet her in the flesh, Kathryn Hahn does not disappoint – Eleanor is surely one of the most purely horrible characters we’ve seen on the show (and yes, we’re including all the murderers). She hits a 90-year-old priest with her car and then destroys Boyle’s frozen sperm, all with no apparent sense of guilt, and she largely gets away with it, too. But she does it all with a perfectly deadpan expression and carefree attitude, each horrifying act funnier that the last.

Funniest moment: She goes further than Jake ever thought she would when she “shoots a hostage” – i.e., throws some of Boyle’s sperm down the drain.

3. Seth Dozerman, played by Bill Hader in New Captain, Season 3, Episode 1

Bill Hader’s screentime on the show is relatively brief, but he is hilarious from start to finish, attacking the squad with every shouted command like he’s firing metaphorical bullets at them. It might actually have been really cool to see the squad try to deal with him as their Captain for more than one episode, with his extremely demanding requirements and very highly strung personality, but on the other hand, perhaps this is a joke that works better in small quantities. Any character whose dying words are “Tell my wife I love her work ethic” is probably a character better enjoyed for a shorter period of time. 

Funniest moment: Both heart attacks are very funny, but the first (non-fatal) one just pips it for the sheer suddenness of it.

2. Caleb, played by Tim Meadows in three episodes in Seasons 5 and 6

Jake is shocked to discover his only friend in maximum security prison is a cannibal (though he would prefer to be identified as a wood-worker), having assumed everyone in protective custody was a wrongly accused police officer. Caleb is surely Brooklyn Nine Nine’s best streak of really, really dark humour – not only did he murder and eat nine and a half people, they were small children too. Every reference he makes to his “nightmare” past is sickly hilarious, and gets worse and worse every time, including a reference to his “skin suit”. But he really does care for Jake, even if he still kind of wants to eat him. The sheer audacity of the black humour surrounding this character is fantastic and always funny.

Funniest moment: Caleb shows that he has a softer side when he saves Jake’s life – but he immediately deeply regrets it and would not do it again.

1. Doug Judy, played by Craig Robinson in multiple episodes (one episode or two-parter per year)

Yes, we carefully defined a recurring character as someone who is either in more than three episodes or who appears more than once a year specifically so that we could include Craig Robinson‘s Doug Judy. It’s our list and we make the rules. There’s something twistedly beautiful about Jake and Doug Judy’s tender but tense friendship, even in the early years when Judy is constantly double-crossing poor Jake. The two of them have perfect comic chemistry, and each running gag in their friendship, especially their fondness for swaggering out in a new outfit or disguise, just gets funnier and funnier. Long may Doug Judy continue to turn up roughly once every twelve months to harass his long suffering best friend.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Funniest moment: Having escaped yet again, Doug Judy leaves Jake a pre-recorded message in a karaoke booth – complete with a full hour of pre-recorded singing for Jake to duet with.

The post Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Funniest Guest Cast Characters appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3kZOKSD

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[ava-jones]

Practice Challenge. Part 1

“Fuck him! Fuck his shitty new album! Fuck his ‘playboy’ reputation! I’m not going to lie about my life to fix a shitty situation he put himself in!” Ava screamed in the hallway a few feet down from her agents office. 

“Babe it’s not like I’m asking you to get married. Just go on a few photo-opt dates, then after Ethan’s album has been out for a few months you can quietly call it off.” Carolyn, the publicist being berated, argued. 

“That’s exactly the problem! It’s not like he’s some dude I’m actually interested in long term. I. don’t. Like. lying.” Ava huffed and leaned against the wall crossing her arms and glaring at Carolyn. 

“Don’t think of it as lying just as acting.” She tried to purswade. 

Ava just glared and chewed on the inside of her cheek as she tried to find some way to get out of this. 

“Common Ava, remember what I said to you when you were a kid, ‘sometimes you have to bend a little.’” She pressured. 

“Bend a little! I moved to Angeles! I changed my name! I rewrote Heart Full of Scars! I did your playboy magazine! I’ve done every single thing that you’ve told me too!” She screamed now getting some looks from other agents. One of them would likely let this outburst slip out soon, another ‘snobby two throwing a tantrum’ she could already see the headlines “Has Ava Jones gotten too used to the rich life? Illeans sweetheart has rotted.’ Probably something shorter but that was why Ava was not a journalist.

“You absolutely have not! You turned down the chance to speak with Scooter Burnt on his show! You barely got to the playboy thing and I had to convince you for days before you’d go! You’ve refused modeling opportunities and went against me and released ‘Do You’!” 

“And it fucking slaps! It got us 65.2 million views within 24 hours! Sometimes you’re wrong!” She yelled and turned to leave. 

“Where are you going?” Carolyn asked, running after her. 

“Home.” She huffed and put her hands in her pockets turning to take the stairs out. 

“Angeles or Sumner?” 

“Sumner!” She yelled back as Carolyn started falling behind. 

“For how long?” 

“Till you get me out of this mess!” She yelled back, turning the corner to the front door of her agents studio. Suddenly he bombarded her. 

“Please wait! Ava!” Ethan yelled chasing after her before grabbing her arm. 

She spun on him, “What! You tricked me into thinking we were friends then told the press I slept with you, why do you think I should give you another second of my time?” 

“Don’t you want to?” He asked with a raised eyebrow more than a little to calm for Ava’s anger.

“To what?” She asked, genuinely confused.

“Sleep with me?” 

Suddenly, Ethan wasn’t smiling anymore, in fact he was on the ground, a red slap mark across his face, security moving to stop Ava but hesitating, they wouldn't want to hurt Illea’s darling. 

“You whore!” Ethan yelled and lunged at her, the guards were much less hesitant with him. After all he was a has-been lunging at a will-always-be. Suddenly the door to the building swung open, the guards stopped, Ethan stood quickly and wrapped a hand around Ava’s waist. As much as she wanted to shove him off and make the sides of his face symmetrical she didn’t want to deal with even more bad press.  

He leaned down to her ear, “behave or I will fucking destroy you.” he whispered. 

“Yeah right, like you can.” She grumbled back through gritted teeth as a paparazzi tried to act hidden, wandering around like he was looking for a room as he held a camera close to his body, attempting to keep it under his bag. 

“Calm down, sweetheart. You’re the one escalating this.” He whispered as they shuffled together to the door trying to make their way out to their private parking deck. Ava quickly scanned her ID for the building and they slipped out of sight. 

As soon as the door closed behind them she shoved him off and down to the ground, “Never touch me again. I’m not the one escalating this, you’re the one who told the press I was ‘cute’ in bed, what the hell does that even mean? I am reacting. I am allowed to react to you being the shittiest person alive,” She rushed to her car and pulled away. 

She was never supposed to drive herself, just like she wasn’t supposed to hit other celebrities, or yell in hallways, or put up a fight. But lately she was feeling so tired. 

She pulled into an empty church parking lot and sat there for a moment, the air conditioning on as cold as possible, and she almost let it out. She almost let her lips quiver, she almost felt her tears pouring over, she almost called her Carolyn and pleaded for ‘out’. Out of singing, out of performances, out of autographs, out of stalkers, out of lies, out of men thinking that because she is a she in a position of power they can take it from her. Out of letting them. 

But, she didn't. She held onto her steering wheel, she popped open her glove compartment and took out a small cigarette box. Of course she would never risk hurting her voice. Instead inside was a picture of herself as a young girl with a boy. The two of them were about thirteen, they were having a picnic on a farm, drinking sparkling apple juice out of two champagne flutes, feeling so adult. Inside there was a small swatch of fabric. She held it closed and breathed it in, and the warmth took over and she was okay. 

She picked up her phone and called one of her top numbers, “Hey Ms. Rosado! I’m coming home for a while tonight. Do you mind if I swing by the house?” 

“Of course not! You know you’re welcome any time, baby.” The now elderly woman eased. 

****************************************************************

Sumner was always Ava’s heaven. It’s where she wasn’t Ava Jones at all. She was Avery Jacoby. Her family was from very rural Sumner. There were about 800 people in her town, mostly fours and lower. Her family had been fours for years until she bought their way into the two castes. The Rosado’s were a family of sevens who worked on their poultry farm. Angeles was loud, full of screaming cars, and people. All she had to hear at home was the chickens and cows. She pulled up on the dirt road which led not to her house, but to the Rosados. It had been un-lived in for the last six years. 

Untouched, Ms. Rosado couldn’t be in it anymore so she had moved in with Ava’s family. She couldn’t stand the silence, where her little boy had once run around with Ava, playing monsters vs heroes. Hearing Michael play guitar along with Ava’s singing. It made her think of his body, falling to the ground, the final seizure taking him at fifteen, it lasted for eight minutes before he passed on. 

Ava laid down in his childhood bed. Her best friend, her soul mate's bed. His smell surrounded her as she looked up at the stars painted on his ceiling, “Mike.” She called out softly covering her eyes with her arm. She knew he couldn't see her. She didn’t believe in all that “they’re watching from above shit. Why would he waste his time in heaven on that. 

“I don’t want this anymore.” She breathed out. 

“But I’m not giving up on us. We said it, we were gonna make it one day, you’re the asshole who made me promise I wouldn’t give up no matter what. Well now what? I’ve made it I think, but there always seems to be more to do. When is it enough? I need you to tell me. Why were you so shitty with your deathbed wishes. What does it even mean? Make it to your debut album? Check. Make it to your first sold out concert? Check! Have billions of fans worldwide? Done and done. But now what do you want me to become a triple threat take on acting and modeling? Do you want me to keep performing? I did all this for you after all! Pretty rude of you to leave me hanging here!” 

“Well do you still like singing?” She shot up at the response. Not from some magical ghost but from her younger sister, Katy.

“What are you doing here?” She asked defensively about her sister's eavesdropping. 

“Aitana said you were stopping by. I figured you needed saving before you turned into-” she paused and gestured to her sister, a crying mess in a child’s bed, “-that.” 

She paused for a moment and sat down next to her, “you know, we’d never want for money again. You’ve made enough for us and ms. Rosado to live like kings for the rest of our lives. Probably your kids too and grandkids. You don’t have to keep doing this, that is, if you don’t like it.” 

Ava sighed looking back up to the painted night sky, “I love singing, I’ll always love singing.” She mumbled. 

“But?”

“But, I hate the performing, I hate being watched, I hate being told who to date, who to talk to, what to wear, what I’m permitted to eat, how much to work out, scripted for in interviews.” 

Katy made a dramatic gasp, “Scripted? You? I thought you just really loved Nike shoes all the sudden.” she joked. 

Ava couldn’t help but laugh and lightly hit her arm. “You bitch, I worked hard to deliver those lines.” She grinned ear to ear. Being apart from Katy was one of the worst things about being in Angeles. 

“Seriously though, you look like shit. You don’t seem happy anymore. You know he wouldn’t want this. He didn’t care about fame he just thought it was what you wanted and wanted you to be happy. Clearly, you’re not, so quit.” She sighed before standing up. “It’s simple, just stop working.” She stood up. 

“You didn’t know him like I did.” Ava mumbled looking down at her hands, knowing her sister was right, but also remembering his eyes and how they lit up dreaming about their future together. 

“Whatever, I’m not going to argue with you about that. Mama’s making stew for dinner, we have to get back before she gives it to the pigs.”

*******************************************************************************************

A few weeks passed on missed calls, then a few months of avoided visits. The press panicked for a moment that Ava hadn’t been literally seen in awhile, but Carolyn released a statement that she was taking a vacation, fortunately for them the present is planned in the past so Carolyn had plenty of unreleased photos to put out, and even a few unreleased songs which she had previously called, “garbage” but was turning to in desperation.

Ava felt clean. She felt safe in the hills of Sumner, the sun healed her, her family was close, and the world was quiet. Until the letter came, then Katy was screaming. 

“Our selection letters came!” 

“Our what came?” I asked munching on my bowl of corn flakes. 

“Selection, duh- oh right you’re doing that “off the grid or social media cleanse.’” She said doing air quotes.

“How very Angeles of you.” My mom chimed in. 

“I’m not trying to be hip, I'm just taking a break!” I defended myself. 

“Well- to fill you in, Prince Arin is holding a selection! I thought he never would since he and that chick seemed so close to getting married. They were even engaged three months ago.” She gushed. The cereal fell off my spoon, 

“Months?” 

Katy looked confused for a moment, “Yeah months, not every mourns for years.” 

“Yeah no. No way in hell is he over that. He’s looking for a royal rebound.” I chuckled and went back to my food. 

“So you’re not going to apply?” 

“No I’m not going to apply, and you shouldn’t either. You’ll get your heart broken joining that.” 

“Well maybe I’m not going in it for my heart.” She replied. 

“What? Have I not been giving you enough money?” 

“More like there aren’t enough men in this town. I’m itching to have some fun.” She complained. 

“And I’m out!” Our mom said rushing off as Katy began to complain about how dry her sex life had been lately. 

“Well, I’m taking the drive to the post office this afternoon. Decide if you want to join by then.” 

“I’ve decided, no thanks.” 

A few hours later Ava sat in bed reading one of her old favorite books, she was enjoying some peace until her phone was buzzing over and over again in her drawer. She would shut it off but it was a burner phone that Carolyn had given her. It was an ‘when you want to get off the grid but I still need to reach you for an emergency phone.’ She groaned and pulled it out, 

“You better be dying.” 

“No but I’m going to put you in your grave if you don’t come back here and participate in the selection.” 

“Nope sorry I told you, I’m home until I say so. If that’s all I’ll see you someda-”

“I’ll let you out of your contract with Rainbow Companion Records!” Ava bit her bottom lip. RCR had signed her when she was just fifteen. She didn’t know better so she agreed to a 10 year lease with them. Getting out would really help her quit.

“Why would you do that?” She asked, there would be no advantage for Carolyn. Everyone was playing a game with each other at this level and she needed to know her angle. 

“You’re not going to quit. I’ve known you for years, you’ll take a break but ultimately come back. People like yo- like us are simple, we need the attention. After a while you’ll ask them to take you back. I know you’re too stubborn to accept that that’s what will happen, so you’ll agree to this because you want to ‘quit’ right now. It’s happened to so many of my clients.” She explained being shockingly transparent. 

“You really don’t know me at all.” She mumbled and thought for a moment. She was afraid, afraid that what Carolyn said was true. That she’d miss all that noise. But if it wasn’t she’d finally be free.” 

“What if I don’t get in?” Ava asked, needing to know the details. 

“Sweetheart, if you want it you’re as good as already in. I know people.”

“Okay I’ll do it.” 

“Great! I’ll send someone over in three days to fill out your appli-” She shut the phone. ‘No way in hell someone is doing that for me.’ 

“Katy! Do you have my letter?” She yelled in the hallway. 

*******************************************************

Just like that, Angeles flew in and popped my bubble. "We've hired some good photographers and journalists to wait at the airport. Just smile and say you're excited. I've also got some new sponsors for you, RCR really fucked me over on those negotiations so we need a bit more big billion bucks." Carolyn said as Aileen, my makeup artist, worked on lining my lips. 

Carolyn pulled a paper out of her purse and handed it over to her, mostly it was a list of brands with a few lines they wanted her to say, nothing unusual. She normally put up a fight over promotional work but if it was her ticket to a life without lying and screaming, she’d take it. 

“Now I set up the studio for that song that you sent me. It’s going to be a hit! We’ll release it a few hours before the selected announcements come out so the popularity boost from being announced on national television will bring everyone, even people who aren’t your fans, to your new video.” She explained. 

As soon as Ava’s jet landed in Angeles it was back to her old life. Back to the quick interview, “I was taking a break to be with family but I’m back now better than ever.” with a few ads thrown in there for the money. 

The night of the announcement she laid in the bath. She normally hated how alone she was in her Angeles apartment, but being able to bathe in peace was a nice perk. She pulled up the count down for her own video and waited. She didn’t like to watch them until they were released. In the past she had tried to help with the editing process but she was apparently too much of a backseat driver. She just had to trust that Jack knew her vision and would stick to it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyFiWkmkexI

She had decided to write this mostly due to her pure rage at Ethan, her director went a little off though making it into a whole scheming theme but overall she was satisfied. Next she switched to the channel with the selected announcement and waited. One named caught her eye ‘Emily Rose White’. She groaned and pulled up her phone, 

“You told her I was joining?”

“No that must have been actual luck, or she just wants to compete.” Carolyn responded. 

**************************************************

#practice challenge 1 #Selectionoc #Selectionoc6

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, July 13

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Steve Bing knew too much -- movie mogul murdered in Jeffrey Epstein cover-up 

Page 2: Jennifer Garner is blaming ex-husband Ben Affleck’s new squeeze Ana de Armas for him spending a lot more time with their kids making her the odd mom out 

Page 3: Reese Witherspoon wants to muscle in on Gwyneth Paltrow’s turf as a lifestyle guru and Gwyneth is fit to be tied -- Reese is consumed with creating her own business empire and she doesn’t care who gets in the way but Gwyneth can’t believe Reese would encroach on her territory like this 

Page 4: Drew Barrymore’s long-anticipated CBS talk show is in danger of being killed by the coronavirus before it ever airs and Drew is freaking out over doing interviews without her adoring fans smiling from their seats

Page 5: Big-hearted Dolly Parton is helping a devastated Kelly Clarkson bounce back from the wreckage of her shattered marriage, kid-crazy Kathie Lee Gifford is begging her newlywed daughter Cassidy to hurry up and give her a grandchild but it’s embarrassing for Cassidy who’d like to enjoy married life for a little while before starting a family 

Page 6: Dennis Quaid secretly eloped with Laura Savoie, photos of Pierce Brosnan clearly show surgical scars under his left breast revealing the 67-year-old star has recently gone under the knife and a doctor says the scars resemble breast tumor excisions 

Page 7: Jimmy Kimmel might not be coming back as the disgraced late-night talk show host who’s come under fire for performing in blackface in the past has been taking time off for a summer vacation but he may be gone for good -- Jimmy apologized for the blackface incident and making an insensitive joke about Megan Fox but ABC execs are already seeking a replacement and Melissa McCarthy and Kevin Hart and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson are contenders but the name that keeps coming up is Ryan Seacrest 

Page 8: Why Prince Harry hates Prince William -- Will made a bold bid to make peace with his rebel brother Harry but it exploded into a battle royal that may never be mended -- everyone is blaming Henry’s wife Meghan Markle and she certainly hasn’t helped but the rift started way before she came on the scene and goes much deeper than anyone ever knew because Harry hates Will because years of living in his brother’s shadow have left Harry tormented by one all-consuming belief that nobody loves him 

Page 9: Spurned Gayle King is devastated after a younger woman stole away the love of her life U.S. Sen. Cory Booker -- the 65-year-old CBS This Morning host and the 51-year-old New Jersey politician had long been rumored to be hot and heavy before star Rosario Dawson gave Cory a new lease on his love life 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Alex Trebek and wife Jean wear masks and hard hats as they visit a home improvement store, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson offered a toast of gratitude and tossed back tequila, Brooke Shields doing a puzzle alongside daughters Rowan and Grier Henchy and their pal Luke, Bella Hadid during a photo shoot in Corsica 

Page 11: Megan Fox’s super-hot romance with Machine Gun Kelly has a slim-to-none chance of going the distance because right now their chemistry is sizzling but he’s also turned into Megan’s personal gofer and the people in his life find it pathetic, Matthew Perry has a flabby fanny and he put it on display for the world to see after he suffered a wardrobe malfunction and exposed his tush while climbing out of his car at his Malibu home 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Izabel Goulart on the beach (picture), Billie Eilish’s new James Bond song No Time to Die has been a disaster with just 52,000 downloads which is why they’re talking about replacing her, when fashion powerhouse Anna Wintour was still new in town in 1975 she took a walk on the wild side with Bob Marley and her fleeting relationship with Bob is something she’s pretty proud of, tensions between Pete Davidson and the rest of the Saturday Night Live cast were bad but now it’s worse because he thinks he’s a movie star and he’s a nightmare, The Bachelor franchise is making changes to the show far beyond just having the first-ever Black bachelor Matt James by adding more diverse cast and crew 

Page 13: Troubled Southern Charm star Kathryn Dennis was labeled a racist after butting heads with a South Carolina radio personality and now she’s being sued by a Charleston brand consultant who claims Kathryn owes her nearly $5000 in unpaid wages, things are going south for scandal-soaked ratings-challenged reality show Southern Charm as the show is on the verge of cancellation

Page 14: True Crime -- porn star Ron Jeremy was charged with raping three women and sexually assaulting another and could do hard time if found guilty 

Page 15: Bill Cosby is certain the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s shocking decision to hear his appeal for his 2018 rape conviction is the only thing that could keep him from dying behind bars, Crocodile Hunter star Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo could be shut down for good -- his widow Terri Irwin revealed the heartbreaking news that the beloved Queensland attraction was on the brink of collapse due to the coronavirus pandemic 

Page 16: Pamela Anderson is mortified because her hated ex Adil Rami has been spilling secrets about their sex life, Jeremy Renner’s ex-wife Sonni Pacheco has accused the Avengers star of being a deadbeat dad and demanding $500,000 in back child support and an extra $100,000 for expenses -- she dropped the bombshell in their custody battle over seven-year-old daughter Ava after previously accusing Jeremy of drug abuse and womanizing and claims he retaliated against her by withholding and refusing to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support that he was ordered to pay her, NFL superstar Ben Roethlisberger was an alcohol addict and a porn fiend 

Page 18: Real Life 

Page 19: Kim Jong-un’s trigger happy sister Kim Yo-jong is making the North Korean dictator look like a wimp as she ruthlessly tightens her grip on power and pushes the rogue nation closer to war 

Page 20: Hollywood’s Craziest Exes -- wild unions ended in bitter breakups -- Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, Madonna and Sean Penn, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard

Page 21: Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton 

Page 22: Health Watch, Ask the Vet 

Page 26: Cover Story -- Movie king Steve Bing knew too much -- fears perv Jeffrey Epstein’s pal got tossed from 27th floor in murder staged as suicide 

Page 28: Scientologist Danny Masterson attended an event to combat sexual exploitation at a church-sponsored event years after the religion’s leaders were told he’d been accused of rape, quarantine has fired up Ne-Yo’s love life -- the singer who split from his wife Crystal Smith early this year said that living together under lockdown together has helped him lock back in with his spouse 

Page 34: Chris Evans whines playing superhero Captain America has wrecked his chances for romance -- he thought he’d be married and have kids by now but the whole Captain America phenomenon has left him less trusting about people he meets and what their motivations may be, Hollywood Hookups -- Raven-Symone marries Miranda Maday, Demi Lovato’s boyfriend Max Ehrich is ready to pop the question, Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are together again during lockdown 

Page 36: Warring exes Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have called a temporary truce as they struggle to find the right school for their kids, troubled Playboy Playmate Ashley Mattingly used a single gunshot to end her short and tragic life 

Page 38: Glen Campbell’s adult children are on the warpath over his widow’s scathing new tell-all because it paints the legendary hitmaker as a booze-soaked maniac 

Page 42: Red Carpet Stars & Stumbles -- Nicole Kidman 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Sharon and Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne on the show Celebrity Watch Party 

Page 47: Odd List 

#tabloid #tabloid toc #grain of salt #steve bing #jeffrey epstein #jeremy renner #jennifer garner #ben affleck #ana de armas #reese witherspoon #gwyneth paltrow #drew barrymore #dolly parton #kelly clarkson #Kathie Lee Gifford #dennis quaid #pierce brosnan #jimmy kimmel #prince harry #prince william #Gayle King #sen. cory booker #rosario dawson #meghan fox #machine gun kelly #matthew perry #billie eilish #pete davidson #kathryn dennis #terri irwin

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: So, campus bars Ava: Avoid entirely or cheap enough to make the cringe worth it? 🤔🤔 James: use your student loans wisely enough that cheap is avoided entirely Ava: Ugh 😏 I thought you'd give real advice if I got you off the clock James: go with your gut, option 1 James: you're not striking me as someone to base their social life around KCLSU's quiz night Ava: I love trivia like I love cheap white wine spritzers and school spirit James: knew you'd fit right in Ava: Can I put that resounding endorsement on my application then, James? James: it'll carry more weight if you accidentally add the I when you write my name James: but I didn't say that James: slip of the pen, that's all Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: There's plenty of time to meet him and double up on kudos James: I hear the girl's hazing rituals are savage James: stand you in good stead that will Ava: No one is scarier than a high school girl Ava: Nor as petty and sadistic Ava: I think I'll survive James: they've toned it down since that girl had a mental episode post head shave James: sure you will Ava: Very chic Ava: Do you wait 'til the UCAS app has gone through to drop the horror stories usually or are you really bad at this whole recruitment thing on purpose? James: it's my 1st time playing tour guide James: potentially I'm less than cut out for it Ava: I won't lodge a formal complaint Ava: Unless you're turning over DMs as feedback, in which case, awkward James: I won't be, some girls think I have more sway than I really do James: awkward indeed Ava: God Ava: Not even my first choice Ava: Though makes you wonder how effective attaching nudes to your cover letter would be James: they'd have to take that on a case by case basis Ava: 🤞 that you don't get the one token woman on the panel James: not your 1st choice, no need to cross anything Ava: Hypothetically, James II Ava: Why was it yours, then? Ava: Student life evidently not being it James: it was my only James: it's gonna end up being Teddy's too Ava: He hasn't turned up to business studies in time Ava: But slip of the pen, I get you James: my older sister got all the brains and none of the sense of fun Ava: Know the sort Ava: Bet I still likes you better though James: I wouldn't go that far Ava: Too far for a taster sesh Ava: Understood Ava: Don't suppose you'll point me in the direction of where you actually hang now then? James: I suppose I could Ava: Please Ava: Bored is an understatement Ava: I'll still show up all present and correct for the debrief thing tomorrow James: it's such a good thing here isn't your 1st choice Ava: You should give me the real tour Ava: I'll keep my lips sealed James: can't I get another please before you do? Ava: Please do not invite your brother Ava: He got us kicked out of Mahiki last month it was so tragic James: he's a disgrace Ava: Most of them are James: I don't associate with anyone who still goes to Mahiki regularly Ava: It's pretty played out James: if they'll let Teddy in they're getting desperate Ava: 😂 awh James: you ready now? Ava: Already out Ava: Figured you better pick me up from The Vault Ava: Consider it a mini hazing of my own James: keep your lips sealed that I'm going within 100 yards of the place and sure Ava: Don't worry Ava: The others are at the cinema or something equally as lame the school put on for our 'overnight entertainment' Ava: I'm sick Ava: No selfies James: the hangover'll make it look & feel convincing Ava: That's a promise you can put your wallet behind Ava: I am a guest James: you don't want put your fake ID on the line either Ava: Bold of you to assume I've ever needed to buy my own drinks 😏 Ava: I didn't bring it alright, shut up James: you don't need it, I'm only playing Ava: 😾 James: how many drinks has my brother bought you? Of course I need to 1 up him Ava: Total? Ava: Not as much as he'd like but lots Ava: Not trying to milk this sibling rivalry or anything, have known him ages Ava: Well before Mahiki would let him in, like James: hardly a rivalry, you know him well enough to realise Ava: True Ava: You do what feels right and I'll let you know by the end of the night then James: very straightforward James: I like it Ava: You don't know me well enough yet but that's par for the course James: I knew your brother for years & I didn't know him James: we'd need more than an evening Ava: I'm as comparable to my brother as you are to yours Ava: Probably James: show me, I'll show you Ava: Deal Ava: But we will need more than an evening Ava: to make it fair James: you can have until you're bored Ava: You'll want longer when you aren't anymore James: I'm used to things not lasting as long as I want Ava: I'm not your average Ava: You'll see James: bold of you to assume I've ever settled for average Ava: I didn't say THE average James: I heard you say my average Ava: No need to be offended by better, is there? James: bemused at most Ava: You're welcome Ava: but you are meant to be entertaining me, not the other way 'round James: you brought up fairness James: & it's a good point Ava: How do you propose we make it fair then? James: I entertain you tonight, you entertain me whenever you've thought of your own tour worth taking me on Ava: That's actually a good idea Ava: and entirely fair James: Teddy'll cost my dad more to secure his place than I did, I've got some brains on board Ava: No doubt Ava: Gave his name to the right kid, clearly James: My sister was undoubtedly relieved James: though Diana has its own pitfalls Ava: 😬 The jokes write themselves James: they do Ava: Perks of having a relatively untouched name James: it does suit her, she's very much a martyr Ava: Did you do an English degree? Ava: You're good at painting a picture with words Ava: See 👸 so clearly James: sadly not James: maybe I'll go back & do it if I ever finish the current one Ava: Student forever vibes Ava: Fuck real life James: then again, being the kind of dad who drops their kid off for classes & pulls up his own chair at the table doesn't sound like a great idea Ava: Just make sure its not their first choice, yeah? James: oldest's already smarter than me James: won't be a problem Ava: There you go then James: where's yours? Ava: Currently undecided Ava: It's more a case of sorting the 2-5 James: & how's that going? James: this place being a solid 5th Ava: Its been a solid mix of fun and boring working it out Ava: Better than another night in Mahiki at any rate Ava: I'll have to decide eventually but even my mum can't demand I do quite yet James: don't over complicate it James: they're not all that different James: I've got friends studying all over the map and they're still basically doing the same things I am Ava: See, that's what I figured Ava: But try telling that to a woman who was Cambridge or bust Ava: It's more about the vibe of the place, the people, the ethos and the lecturers not being the worst stereotypes of boring/creep Ava: again, if I tell her vibe is on my criteria she'd actually kill me before I could apply anywhere so 🤷 James: your secret's safe with me James: even if our mothers were friends, mine is currently not speaking to me Ava: How's that? James: it's something I'm fairly used to James: she's not a big talker James: more of a fan of a dismissive hand gesture Ava: Gotcha Ava: Not a whole lot to miss James: she's got lots to say about my parenting style but who hasn't Ava: Shame you don't talk to my brother now James: I don't suppose he sees it as a shame Ava: Probably not Ava: He's not one for regrets James: me either James: it's why we started out friends Ava: Feels like ages ago Ava: Since he still lived here James: it kind of is James: he left before he left Ava: It's complicated James: it's not my business Ava: Not mine either so Ava: Whatever James: car's here James: are you going to make me get out for you? Ava: You're meant to come in here Ava: Don't you trust I can keep my lips sealed? James: I don't trust it to be entertaining in there James: hence it's not part of the tour Ava: Please James: Oh Ava James: [but does come in we all know he would] Ava: [clearly making him stay for a drink and play pool or something in this student ass bar] James: [when you're whipped for someone you're not even dating lol] Ava: [When Chloe is your missus] James: [to be a fly on the wall in their relationship tbh literally imagine] Ava: [oh lordy how you have not been missed girl] James: [at least the new kid is young enough she can dress it up still and it can't talk back so she can pretend she gives a shit and isn't blowing his phone up rn] Ava: [in full show-off-to-all-my-friends mode still, somehow still has some lol] James: [lord when you don't even like and comment on pics of your own child anymore though bye do not approve of your aesthetic choices Chlo] Ava: [so awkward, when you only get a look in for the boring/hard bits] James: [basically just get to parent Jay cos she's well over that] Ava: [poor James tbh] James: [have your fun now lad I don't blame you even though everyone else will] Ava: [lord people gonna be SO mad] James: [how far we gonna take this during the tour cos obvs flirty vibes been flying about but like he can't just jump her cos married and she's younger] Ava: [she fully initiated this whole thing lbr but maybe don't sleep with him yet babe as you are aware he's married and has kids so like, some thought even though you young and reckless that, he could always stop it at a makeout 'cos then how embarrassing for her and she'd have to leave it for a bit like what was I doing, angst etc] James: [I vibe with that cos they are gonna be drinking a lot as the night goes on so that'd make both of them give less of a shit about the consequences but because the night is going on eventually chlo is gonna be like are you coming home ever because I like to think he hasn't cheated since she got pregnant with this kid and has actually been trying even though he's miserable af clearly] James: [like maybe it was really bad before and he was actually gonna leave her so she was like simply must trap him and did] Ava: [v much a her move I support it] James: [yeah cos she's invested this much time into him she's not just gonna let him go easily] Ava: [when you have no idea what you've signed yourself up for here babe] James: [I'm rooting for them rn cos nobody else is and I'm 100% that bitch, must not get invested yet when we've only just begun] Ava: [same tho so whoops] James: [he'd be so into it though too we all know that makeout would be 💣🔥] Ava: [hence breaking it off would be hard af, Chloe gotta be blowing his shit up to the degree he thinks maybe one of the kids is hurt lol] James: [literally Chloe is the teenage girl in this situation, girl chill out] Ava: [I'd feel bad if you hadn't also cheated loads and trapped him in this sham life soooo, grant you idk how much Ava knows of that rn but she'd clearly have a rep] James: [yeah I feel like Ava would be knowing some shit cos same circles and Chlo ain't slick plus like he's gonna eventually tell her cos god knows he needs someone to talk to] Ava: [we will get there boy] James: [at least it'll be less awks for her cos it'll be obvious that he didn't wanna break shit off and how hard it was to do] Ava: [there was obvs a vibe to pursue in the first place, still tomorrow morning lmao] James: [he'd so go too hard pretending she doesn't exist like nobody's picked up on the vibe and it ain't obvious okay boy] Ava: [I hope there's some other drama gone down on this little excursion so yous can fly under the radar, someone hold hands at the cinema lol] James: [shit like that always happens don't worry you two] Ava: [thank God for teenage shenanigans when you out here homewrecking on the low] James: [you should do some Chlo texts at me for the lols even if I don't reply cos busy lol]

[mellowgirl01]

🍷 Sweet Wine 🍷

Master List     Pt. 2

❌❌Warning: Death/ funerals/ Gore❌❌

Word count:  1387

Characters:  6893

People: Adam x Y/N x Eve

Made for: @ladyfluff

Tag: @ladyfluff @may-bereblog @jaquellejohnson @mousee555 @littlefrogstuff

Request:No

Date:4/8/19

Summary:

This is may be the end but it’s the beginning of forever

Eve’s P.O.V

“What if she’ll miss her old life we always have to think about that it’s not just about what you want !!”

“DON’T-don’t you think I know that? I understand  more than anyone one that there are things that should be fucking talked about when getting into this kind of life. Hell I should be the spokesperson for it rather, How shit my mind turned out due to this but I never regretted a single second of it..not one! So if she wants this Eve then who are we to say-”

“We are the only really real adults in this whole world. The only ones that have seen it be built from the ground up and beyond one day. So I’m telling you Adam that we must think about everything before we jump into something.”

“Fine, then hit me. What's so important that we have to discuss this when she’s already made up her mind?”

“Are you even hearing me?!”

“I am now.”

God why did he have to be so goddamn stubborn?! Some things I guess will never change though. He was the same way when he wanted to be changed all those years ago. Stubborn and hard headed. That was the only time until now that I think he really looked forward to was was about to come next. I’m only arguing my point because while I may not want her to be the same as Adam, I know he doesn’t want that either. He would hate himself and they wouldn’t help each other..Maybe ..maybe they just might though. But i’m..

“Scared. I can’t have her end up like you, She’s more stubborn than you Adam and while it doesn't show you know that’s the truth. The one thing they shared and it was that. Something that would be the death of them both was that.”

“I burned that past. I burned every little thing I cared for in that trunk. I buried a girl that I knew for 3 years. Not only did I bury her but so did you. That was our final goodbye to someone we thought we couldn’t live without for decades. With all the nightmares and all the shit we put up with because some drunk, money hungry, demon came into our house and took away someone we held dear, I thought you would have been eager. For the future. Finally again my love we are the lucky ones!! Rare is a love like this to happen again and I cannot let it slip. Neither should you, You haven't been picking up the pieces for me for years Eve. no more and I mean no more. I know I think selfish sometimes but you know that I mean no harm.”

“Right.”

I sigh heavily but it was more to relieve stress and get really ready for whatever was about to come of right now. He was right, and there was no denying the obvious in any case. Damn it did I hate when he was right. He walked over to me engulfing me into his embrace and putting my head on his. Worth it all was the fact that through all this time I have stayed in love with this grumpy old man. A man who was weak  but strong at the same time, but he was never weak in my eyes. Never did he cheat, abuse, or try to hurt me. We really are the lucky ones. And now we have found yet another like us. Something That's also all so sweet is the fact that nothing could get in the way of us this time. Rebirth really is something..

“So when is it gonna happen? Because I would like to start now.”

We turned our head to see Y/N leaning against the doorway of the bedroom. Chuckling lightly I opened out my hand for her to take and gently she did. The moment was just like the first, but no going back this time. Not even a second glance. This was forever and all time

Adam’s P.O.V

I never liked my funerals. Always thought they were a waste of time and this one was really no different. Except for the fact that We got to remeet Sarrah.

June 8th, her prefered date is when Sarrah made the call that Y/N went missing and was never found. While the police did find it strange that Sarrah called off the searcher for such a dear friend odd, when they questioned her she made no bluffes or lies. One of the many reasons why I still despise most zombies was the fact that almost all of them just acted so fake. Unoriginality was one of the many reasons why I came to hate the world. But this was just pathetic, Seeing so many people that Y/N scuffed at with their of so kind words of how they loved and looked after her were just all in such vain. Yet the only lady that I liked was her aunt. A sharp seeking woman. Nice figar and really caring only to the right people. Didn’t take a shit and of course that’s how I liked em. Straight forward and no cheap shots about how she wished that Y/N would have called or said something before just up and leaving. Disgusting..

But no. She did none of that. If anything she was pissed. Looked pissed to. As instructed in her note Y/N asked her aunt of she could read out what was in the note. Even the people at the diner showed up. They were cool in my book too.

“To the people who cared for me. Form the bums in the station to my family members who never saw me or even got into contact with me when my mother and father left this dreadful place. I say to you that I love you. I mean it, I learned a lot from all of you and for that I am grateful. I am grateful for my aunt and grandparents that have also left this rock. My time was short with you all but I do still mean that I don’t regret seeing and meeting every single one of you. My things will go to the people who I have dedicated them to in my will. Do what you will with them. I no longer care. I am leaving this Earth one way or another yes, but understand that  with me I take your gifted love and memories of hope for the future. Though it was little I still thank you. Please try not to carry a burden in your heart. There is nothing you could have done. Don’t find me, we will surely meet again-.”

Stopping somewhere near the last paragraph she had to stop herself from choking so she could read clearly. Y/N through her thick vail tried to hold back her tears. It was a good thing the funeral was held at night. TO me this was nothing but I could understand that to her..It was the worst thing possible. To see the only woman to care about her being alive aside from her friends cry about her fake death. She would never know where she really was. How she was doing. Eve comforted her kissing her hand. I did the same.

After the funeral We got up and into the packed and yet tiny car that I owned. Things that wouldn’t fit into the moving truck or things that were rather more so for entertainment. Our destinations was where ever we felt like was a good enough place to stay for 50 or so years. We didn’t care where really.

“Hey maybe we should pay Ava a visit?”

“Hell no.”

“It’s where she wants to go Adam..”

“...Fine, but we are going and then we are leaving.”

“YAYA!”

“I can’t believe that you let her meet your sister.”

“I can’t believe you didn't get rid of that gun when I told you to.”

“I said I was sorry!.”

“Did I ever mention how much I love you both?”

“Ever since forever darling.”

~THE END~

#Olla #OLLA Adam #adam olla #OLLA Eve #eve olla #eve x reader #adam x reader #eve x reader x adam #adam x reader x eve #tom hiddleston #tilda swinton #polyamourous #romance #romantic #romantic fantasy #fantasy #fanfic #vampire #Vampiers #the end

[marlahey]

we stumbled in the dark; i knew we’d be alright (part seven)

a shawn mendes rpf fic rating/warnings: t for too much sweetness. you may need a dentist afterwards. notes: this part almost ended up being over 7k – it originally included a present day stop, but LA turned out to be full of way more  than I’d even initially planned. please enjoy the last major then of this fic; there’s only two other flashbacks to go. please keep reblogging and sending your thoughts! (previously; start at part one here; find all parts here)

los angeles; then LA is the last multi-night tour stop, but it doesn’t involve an extra show. You’re staying in town a few more days for a) a break, but more importantly, Shawn is a special honouree and performer at a gala event, celebrating, as Brian gleefully reads from the press release, “influencers and trailblazers across social media and the arts under the age of thirty.” 

Geoff leans out of the way while their star unsuccessfully attempts to snatch Ava’s photocopy from his bassist. Shawn’s ears are red. It’s adorable, though you’d never say it out loud.  “Isn’t this that thing where you’re not allowed your phone the entire time?” Charlie asks. “Doesn’t that defeat the point of having social media influencers?” “Can we please stop saying influencers?” Parker grimaces as he leans his head head back against the couch. “It’s such an awful concept. Why is that even a thing?” “Are you just jealous because you’re not one?” Shawn’s drummer flips the bird without looking; Brian cackles.  The six of you are currently lounging around the games’ room of the hotel, waiting for Andrew and Ava to finalize cars for a dinner out. Faced with a day cooped up after last night’s show, Shawn had appeared at your door with his band in tow and insisted you join them.  “It’ll be fun,” he says, but all you could think about was how you’d never really spent any real time with four of Shawn’s closest confidants, struck with a nagging fear that they found you a nuisance or annoying. But he looks so openly hopeful at you that you have to push that anxiety aside.  “We don’t bite,” Charlie says with a grin and a wink. You glance back over your shoulder at Ava, who has her phone to her ear but waves you off in a ‘go ahead’ motion.  So you allow yourself to be dragged up several floors and referee several intense matches of ping-pong, stopping when you’re sure the guys might come to blows. Everyone is funny and warm and you find yourself relaxing in their company.  “Pool?” Shawn asks now, turning first to you. You shake your head. “Don’t know how.”  “No time like the present, Miss Sinclair!” Parker exclaims, his earlier annoyance clearly forgotten. You blink at him. “C’mon, we’ll play twos. You in, Geoff? Charlie?” The guitarist and keyboard player both wave him off. “Fine, Bri?” “Only if I get to play with you and kick Shawn’s ass for that last match.” “He’s at a disadvantage if he has to teach me,” you protest. “You guys should play – I can just watch.” “It’s fine, El.” Shawn offers you a reassuring smile. “Brian’s just bitter. We’ll go slow, okay? We’ll set up and talk you through it.” Sometimes you think yourself a little too easily persuaded. You and Geoff watch Shawn and his other bandmates set to work pulling the balls from various pockets; the colours glisten beneath the warm overhead light and thunk on the long green surface. You allow yourself exactly three seconds to watch Shawn’s hands before you drag your eyes away. “He gets antsy with more than a night off, doesn’t he?” you ask. Geoff’s lips twitch, like he’s tempted to laugh. Charlie snorts. “So you’ve noticed.” He turns to look at you properly. You don’t know why you’re nervous all of a sudden, but the feeling is there nonetheless. “It’s nice that you guys get along, though. I can't imagine what you must have thought when Ava told you about all of this.” You shrug in what you hope is a non-commital gesture, but a laugh slips out. “It was a lot. But it’s been amazing.” “We’re glad to have you,” Geoff says, smiling. Anxious tension in your stomach is replaced with warmth. He nods forward at Shawn. “He is, too.” Don’t blush. But it’s already happening. “El!” Shawn’s holding a pool cue, beckoning. “Ready?” “Give ‘em hell, kid.” You can only grin at Geoff and rise to join them.  * “I know that look. Something’s wrong.” Ava glares at you, though it’s half-hearted at best. You wonder at the possibilities in your head, but nothing necessarily prepares you for:  “I think I’m sick.” You drop your phone arm to stare. Your sister never gets sick. She pops Vitamin C like it’s chewing gum and has had an eerie immunity to every illness you ever brought home from school as a child.  “What do you mean you’re sick? But you have the–” “The gala. Don’t remind me.” Ava sinks down onto her bed across the room. “I’ve been feeling weird since this morning. I think I ate something off at dinner last night–” Your sister proceeds to turn a strange shade of pale and lurch to her feet, beelining for the bathroom.  You wince at the sound of retching, but follow dutifully, crouching behind your sister to sweep her hair from her face before it falls into the toilet. “You can’t go like this,” you say, twisting and pulling a hair tie from your wrist. You sit back once Ava’s hair is no longer in danger, rubbing a hand between her shoulder blades until it finally stops.  “I have to,” she groans. Ava emerges, a sheen of sweat on her forehead, flushing the toilet with a grimace. You wordlessly hand her a damp washcloth and she wipes her mouth. “Andrew has this dinner with some of the other managers and drinks with somebody else about the next album.” “Already?” Granted, there’s only three stops to go, but still. “The tour isn’t even over yet.” “Shawn’s a go getter.” Your sister rolls her eyes, but there’s fondness in it. “He’s gonna travel to record this one, so it takes a lot more planning.” You think about your conversation with the band. Ansty is right. “Okay, well. Do you need me to do anything?” Ava leans against the wall, closing her eyes. “He’s trying on the suit right now. Serena’s with him but brands usually bring their own people because they can. Just go and check if they’re doing okay, please?” “Sure thing.” You grab her arm to steady her as she drags herself upright on the wall. “I’m gonna lie down. Hopefully this passes before we have to leave in–” Ava checks her watch. “An hour.” You leave your sister with a glass of water, shoving your key card into your back pocket. Shawn’s room is four doors down; you’d seen the people from Armani sweeping into the hotel earlier that afternoon with a black garment bag and you have to swallow your intimidation to knock. Serena greets you with a brilliant smile, her glossy dark hair flowing down her back like a waterfall. “Hey Ellie! Come on in. He’s just putting on the jacket.” You open your mouth to explain you’re just checking in, but Shawn’s stylist ushers you through the doorway before you can get the words out. She bends down close to your ear. “I think he’s a little nervous. He could use a friendly face.” You swallow. “Gotcha.” Serena squeezes your shoulder gently. “Deep breath. He looks good.” Are you that easy to read? The older woman winks down at you, but at that point you’ve already fully entered the room and are concentrating on schooling your expression. Shawn’s back is to you in front of the enormous mirror that faces his bed, leaning forward a little on the counter and extending the crisp lines of his black suit. A man and a woman from Armani, the man holding a line of measuring tape, confer in hushed tones. New York flashes in your mind’s eye, but then Shawn’s eyes find yours in the mirror. His white shirt is undone at the collar, stark against the shiny lapels of his jacket. He looks taller, somehow, or more, as though you have to brace yourself or be so quickly overwhelmed by him.  As if that isn’t already happening at least fifty percent of the time.  “El, hi.”  He turns to face you, and you catch the details of his pocket square: tiny flowers. You can’t help but smile. “Hey.” You have to swallow before you can say it. “Looking good.”  His ears are pink. “Thanks.” “Ava just wanted to check in,” you say, glancing at the Armani reps. “See if you needed anything.” “Perhaps an opinion?” The woman holds up a black skinny tie. “The room is divided. You would be the deciding vote.” “I uh–” You just stare as she crosses to Shawn and lopes the tie around his neck, tutting gently at his undone buttons. You find yourself transfixed by the line of his throat until it disappears beneath her expert hands. She steps back, presenting Shawn to you with a smile and a flourish.  Your mouth goes a little dry.  Shawn pushes back the curls falling over his forehead, looking up through his eyelashes even though he obviously towers over you. It’s been a while since you felt so unmoored by him, or anyone, really, since you really understood the fanatic reaction of people towards celebrities they loved and admired and fawned over on red carpets.  A moment (a minute, possibly an hour) later, you remember that everyone is waiting for you to say something. “Tie,” you manage, though it comes out like a croak. You have to cough when Shawn finally looks away. “Definitely tie.”  “Excellent choice.” The women exchange victorious smiles while the man throws his hands up good-naturedly. “Why don’t we button that up Shawn, and see how it feels?” Shawn straightens up as the man stretches the measuring tape across the long expanse of his shoulders. “Not too tight?” “No,” Shawn says. “It’s great.” You look at Serena, feeling oddly helpless, who just winks at you again.  “Do the guys get this VIP treatment?” you ask, grasping for something to say. Shawn looks at his stylist, who just shrugs.  “I hand-delivered their suits half an hour ago. They’re probably watching HGTV in their boxers right now.” “They do love a home makeover,” Shawn says, to your surprised delight. He glances out the window of his suite, his gaze suddenly far away.  “How’s that speech coming?” You can see the flash of something off in his eyes. You almost regret asking, but you know Ava would.  “Done, actually.” Shawn turns to his dresser and hands you a small stack of cue cards. You’re careful not to smudge the black pen. “Could you give these to Ava? I’m scared I’m going to leave them behind or ruin them before we get there and then forget everything I’m gonna say.” You nod. “You’re gonna be great.” “Where is Ava, anyway?” You try to cover your wince, but Shawn’s grown too good at reading your expressions. “El?” “She’s um, not feeling too great. She thinks it’s something she ate last night.” His eyebrows fly up. “That doesn't sound good.”  “She’s resting,” you say, trying (and probably failing) to muster your sister’s skillful reassurance. “She wants to go.” “She shouldn't force herself to come. We’ll be fine. I don’t want her to get worse.” Shawn’s brow furrows, his mouth downturned. His eyes are so serious. You’re struck, suddenly, at how much he cares for your sister. That emotion deeper than fondness sparks, like a match struck against your ribs.  “You’ll have to be the one to convince her.” * “Ellie,” Brian whines, drawing out the ‘e’. “Who invented cufflinks? What purpose do they serve besides to torment those of us with normal sized hands?” You laugh and take them from him. “They pull the outfit together, didn’t you know?” The bassist holds still as you tuck the links in.  “How do I look?” he asks when you’re finished, spinning a circle so wide he nearly smacks Charlie in the face. It takes considerable effort to stifle laughter.  “Dashing.” “Time to go,” Geoff announces. He holds the door for his bandmates, smiling at you as everyone troops out. You can see Shawn at the end of the hall, Serena trailing after him. You catch his eye and lift your hand in a silent wave. You wish you had the courage to shout your thoughts at him.  You can do this. I believe in you. Maybe one day. You can only hope your smile, for now, is enough.  * The message pings on Ava’s phone forty minutes later.  Geoff: SOS. Shawn never took back his speech from you after you talked. He says he’s fine but I don’t think so. Can you get it here? Gonna lose my phone in five. The cards he’d so carefully handed to you are on the bedside table. Your heart sinks. “I’ll go,” you say, before Ava can act on the regret on her face. You talk over her dubious stare. “I’ll be in and out before anyone notices me. You have your personnel invitation, don’t you?” Your sister gets up to retrieve it, which is a good sign. “This is being aired on tv. You know you can’t–” “I’ll figure it out, okay?” You hold up Shawn’s cue cards. There are whole lines scribbled out and rewritten in what has become a familiar handwriting. “He’s already nervous. If I can help him, why shouldn’t I? No one’s allowed their phones at this thing remember? It’s not like anyone’s gonna catch a salacious photo.” Ava still looks unsure. You point at her phone. “Text him back, quick. Tell him I’m coming. Can Cam drive me?” You yank your t shirt over your head, digging around for one of four emergency dresses. When you look up again, struggling with the zipper, Ava is downing a bottle of water.  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she says, wiping her mouth. “I’ll take you. If anyone’s getting in trouble for this it better be me.” Your sister beckons you closer, working the zipper up in one smooth motion. “Take my shoes. You’ll need a little more height to pull this off.” * To your surprise, it’s not getting in that’s the problem. Ava loops around to the entrance off the red carpet, where a small queue of non-walking guests are still being let into the venue. You hand over your embossed invitation, which reads Personnel: Shawn Mendes in looping script, and open Ava’s favourite clutch. You have Shawn’s speech, your driver’s license, your lipstick, and nothing else. “No phone?” The attendant asks. You shake your head, pulling out the sides of your pocket-less dress as proof. He doesn’t look at you too long, even though your makeup probably doesn’t disguise the fact that you’re clearly too young to be personnel, even though you still feel wildly underdressed next to the people in line just behind you. It might help, you reason, feeling just a touch irrational. You’ve worn this out to dinner before. The guys might spot you sooner.  “Table 24.” “Thank you.” You smile at the man in an attempt to cover up your nerves and step through. You’re unprepared, though. The hall is huge. Four steps into the room, you have to jump backwards to avoid being steamrolled by a very stressed looking crew member, decked in all black, wearing a headset and holding a clipboard. People’s eyes skate over you as you carefully scan the closest table for a number card.  47.  The next table you can see reads 18.  What the fuck. You’re pretty sure that’s Harry Styles about fifteen feet to your left, but you’re too stressed to look closer. You look out into the crowd of milling celebs and management teams a little desperately, but you can’t make out either Shawn or any of the band. According to your watch, the event starts in less than fifteen minutes.  You’ll never get anywhere just loitering out here, you tell yourself sternly. Get in there. So you steel yourself and begin weaving your way through the tables, closer and closer to the enormous stage, backlit in blues and purples. You haven’t tripped in Ava’s three inch sandals yet, thank god. But your several minute streak of moving about unnoticed comes to a screeching halt when someone’s shoulder collides roughly with yours.  “Oh I’m sorry,” you say immediately, blinking back a wince. Ow. Before you can continue on your way, an awful mix of perfume and hairspray floats in your direction, acrid in your nose and even worse, on your tongue.  “Excuse me?”  You look up, taking in the person you’d bumped into properly. Her blonde hair, high in an impossibly complex looking updo, is second to a dress that plunges down to her navel in the front, but that’s not the most shocking thing. It’s her expression: like she’s offended.  “I’m sorry,” you repeat, pushing down an automatic lifted inflection. “I didn’t see you.” The other girl makes a noise of disbelief. “You didn’t see me? Do you even know who you’re talking to?” No fucking clue is probably not the proper response. You notice for the first time that this girl is accompanied by two men, arguably as tall as Shawn, though one is nearly twice as wide as you. Your heart hammers uncomfortably fast in your chest.  “I’m just looking for Shawn Mendes,” you say. “Have you seen him?” One of the men snorts. “Shawn Mendes? You don’t recognize Melisa Gallagher who has seven million internet followers, but you know Shawn Mendes. Right.” Melisa’s blue eyes narrow in contempt beneath huge false lashes, lips twisted in a sneer, literally looking down her nose at you.  Over her shoulder on the far side of the room, the crowd parts just slightly and Geoff appears like a genuine angel. Your eyes meet and his face lights up. He taps the shoulder of a familiar figure; Shawn turns and relief floods your nerves. “Excuse me,” you try, but Melisa apparently isn't done with you yet.  “Hang on.” she says. Her voice is a too-high pitch of false concern. “Are you sure you’re supposed to be here? I feel like we should just take you to security and double check.”  Is she serious? The man to her left steps towards you; you retreat instinctively, a sudden panic squeezing your breath. You look up again. You can’t imagine what he sees in your face, but the surprised smile in Shawn’s eyes dims. You know logically that he and Geoff are moving towards you, but everything feel too slow: your second step back, Melisa’s weird crony reaching for your arm– “There you are!” You turn your head and nearly fall completely backwards, because Taylor Swift has just appeared out of nowhere and she’s looking at you. “Shawn’s been looking for you everywhere, babe! Good thing we found you in time.”  You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Taylor steps casually between you and Melisa, taking your hand. Against her gentle squeeze, you can feel yourself shaking. “We’d better get to our table,” she continues. “God, it’s like a maze in here, isn’t it?” Taylor finally looks at Melisa, as if she’s just now noticed her.  “Oh, hi. It’s Miranda, right?” The other girl laughs, though this time it’s a horrible, nervous sound. “Melisa,” she corrects. Her triumphant sneer has given way to open-mouthed shock. Taylor just nods, smiling in a look of vague disinterest. “Sure. Well, excuse us!” Taylor tugs you firmly after her, not sparing Melisa another glance. You don’t dare look back, staring instead at the breathtaking beaded detail of Taylor’s dress as she leads you through the labyrinth of people and white linen tablecloths.  “Just breathe,” she says, low in your ear as you pause for another group to pass just in front. You have to gulp in air. “It’s okay.” “How did you know–”  “Geoff told me,” Taylor says, as though it’s obvious. “Asked me to keep an eye out for you.” Your knees feel a bit like jelly. “Sinclair, you made it!”  Geoff stops just short of the other side of what you suppose is your table, as Brian, Charlie, and Parker beam up at you from their seats. Shawn does no such thing. You’re barely aware of Taylor releasing your hand before his fingers are wrapping around your arm. New York flashes again, harder than before.  “Are you okay?” You nod, though Shawn doesn’t look convinced. “What was that?” You struggle to come up with a coherent reply. Taylor, fortunately, comes to your rescue yet again. “Just some girl who thought herself a bit of a queen.” That’s one way to put it. Shawn ducks his head, peering at you as if that’s the only way he can be certain you’re alright. “What are you even doing here?” You pop your clutch open and pull out his cue cards. “Geoff called. Special delivery.”  He blinks at the cards, then at you. “You’re amazing.” You’re too relieved to have found him to resist when Shawn pulls you into a hug. His cologne is familiar and soft; you relax almost despite yourself against him.  “Oh shit,” Shawn says when he pulls away. “I’m awful. Taylor, this is Ellie. Ava’s sister I told you about. El, this is–” “You’re not seriously trying to introduce Taylor Swift to me as if I don’t know who she is.” Taylor laughs and you feel your whole face heat. This can’t be real. “I love you,” you blurt, feeling ridiculous but unable to stop yourself.  You haven’t been this happy and terrified since you met Shawn. Her smile is so warm. “You’re so sweet! Nice to finally meet you, Ellie. I’ve heard so much about you.” Oh my god. Taylor leans down to hug you; out of the corner of your eye, Shawn’s hand is reaching for the back of his neck, till he seems to remember his hair at the last second and drops it. Dork.  “Thank you,” you say. “For back there.” She nods. “Don’t mention it.” “Just to let you know folks,” booms a voice from nowhere, making you jump, “We’ll be starting in just about ten minutes.”  "I should go.” The reality of the multitude of cameras in this room kicks up an anxious rhythm in your chest. You chance a look at Shawn, who has one hand on the back of his chair. “You’re gonna be amazing.” “Wait, El.” Of course he catches you before you’re even three tables away. “I know that you and Ava and Andrew have this whole– thing.” Your stomach drops. In all the time you’ve been on tour together, this is the first time either of you have acknowledged it. A thing indeed. Shawn bites his lip. You’ve never seen him do that before.  “But you’re my friend. There’s no rule against that.”  Your heart aches.  “Fair point,” you admit.  "Can you–” Shawn looks through his lashes again; the open expression from his hotel bed five nights ago returns, stealing your breath. “Can you stay?” (I think he’s a little nervous.  When you’re here I know where I am.) Back at the table, you can see Geoff leaning over to speak to Taylor, who is nodding very seriously. You wonder what he’s telling her. Then, as she gets up and heads for the nearest camera person, you wonder what she’s doing. You suppose it doesn’t matter. Because Shawn’s right. “Okay.” Your sister is going to kill you. The tour is definitely over. But this was amazing while it lasted. “I’ll stay.” As long as you live, you know you’ll never regret anything that makes him smile like that. You follow Shawn back to the table, where Taylor, her plus one, and the band are joined by a man in all black. “Ellie!” Taylor grins brightly at you. “Meet Christopher. His job is to point at us.” “Hi,” you greet automatically, sinking into your seat next to Parker. *Miss,” Christopher says, nodding his head. “I’m told we’re trying to keep you off camera tonight?” “I–” You look slack-jawed at Taylor, who just nods encouragingly. “Yes, please. If that’s at all possible.” “I think that can be arranged, for the most part. You’re okay with your back? Turning your head just in case?” You nod. “Thank you so much.” Christopher smiles. “You all have a nice time now. And thank you so much for that voicemail, Taylor. My daughters will definitely appreciate it.” “Not at all!” Five minutes is called across the room. The camera man disappears, while everyone looks at her.  “How did you do that?” Brian asks, sounding as dumbfounded as you feel. Taylor winks. “Sometimes you just gotta ask nicely.” * It feels like it’s been ages since you’ve been able to truly watch Shawn perform. Christopher pulls you to the side while he captures Taylor and other celebrities enjoying or dancing (though that’s mostly Taylor, which warms your heart) to TNHMB.  All you can do is applaud softly at everyone when the guys finally return to the table, where dessert is soon to be served. Shawn smiles at you, small and humble, but by the time slices of chocolate cake and ramekins of crème brûlée appear (you watch with amusement as the band studiously swaps plates), Shawn's eyes are somewhere else again. “Here,” you say, holding out his teaspoon. He starts. You gesture at his untouched crème brûlée. “The beginning is is the best part.” He seems to gather that you won’t accept a simple refusal, so Shawn takes the spoon from your fingers with a smile and a roll of his eyes, cracking the sugar into the custard beneath. He tastes a mouthful; the air suddenly feels so much closer around you as he closes his eyes for just a moment and the tension eases from his face. “Wow that’s amazing.” Shawn grins at you. You want to flush, though you have no idea why. “You gotta try this.” He pushes the ramekin into the space between your plates and you dip your own spoon into the dessert. He’s right, of course. It is amazing. When you look up, Parker is wiggling his eyebrows at you. You cover your mouth with the hand still closed around your spoon and flip him off. He laughs so hard he nearly chokes; Charlie whacks him hard between the shoulder blades.  You can still feel eyes on you. Taylor’s expression is not of amusement or judgement, but a soft kind of knowing. You hear that voice in the back of you mind, careful, but the secret you can’t admit, even to yourself, seems safe with her. So you just smile back.  * In the commercial break before they’re finally due to present Shawn an award for Social Media and Music Icon, you’re off to the side again when he finds you, his cue cards twisted in his hands. He leans against the wall at your side, though with Ava’s shoes he’s finally only about a head taller than you. “Is a speech really all that different than performing?” you ask quietly, not looking directly at him but over the room. Turns out you were right about Harry Styles, which you know, holy shit. Shawn blows out a breath slowly out his mouth. The urge to touch him rises up so abruptly that you have to physically curl your fingers against your dress. “There’s no music, for one, El.”  You roll your eyes. “Fine, but you and a crowd? Tell me that’s not something you know how to deal with.” Shawn shrugs, the motion odd in contrast to the sleek lines of his tuxedo jacket. “A crowd of fans, maybe. But this?” He raises an eyebrow to peers and elders alike.  “And what? These people don’t like you?” Shawn makes a face. “Okay well you can’t please everyone,” you concede, “But you’re not just getting this award because they picked your name out of a hat. You deserve it. And you have them.” You nod your head towards the band. “And Taylor freaking Swift.”  “And you?” Your stomach flips. Part of you is afraid to look at him, but the rest of you knows you must. So you meet Shawn’s eye. “And me.” You manage not to blush. “We’re all here for you okay? Regardless of everyone else.” “Two minutes till we’re live everyone,” says the announcer. “Please head back to your seats.”  You’re grateful for the reprieve; you’re not sure how long you could stand him looking at you like that. Impulsively, you lean forward and wrap your arms around him. Shawn exhales against your hair. “Go,” you say, pushing him just a little towards the centre of the room. “I’ll be here.” When his name is finally called, you clap so hard your hands hurt.  “This is amazing.” Shawn says, staring out at the assembled crowd. “You know, when I started on Youtube and Vine and taught myself guitar, I was mostly just doing it for myself, because I wanted to emulate the artists I admired so much. But the moment I realized that each of the thirty thousand or–” He lets out a sort of disbelieving laugh, shaking his head.  “–Thirty million followers I had were truly real and unique people, that’s when everything really changed for me. First off, I wouldn’t be able to do anything without the support of my incredible family: Mom, Dad, Aaliyah, I love you so much. Second, I have to thank my team, band, and crew, who have been absolutely amazing on this tour and who make me seem way cooler than I actually am.” Parker and Charlie hoot at him over the laughter and applause. Shawn chuckles again, glancing down at the glass award in his hands. “But lastly. I really owe this whole thing to my fans, because without them I’d just be a kid from Pickering, Ontario playing covers in his room. Which is in Canada, in case you weren’t sure.” More laughter. “Sometimes I think I’m still that just that kid, but then I find myself in rooms like this, performing for the same people I still admire and hope to be like, because I hope to never stop growing as an artist.. It’s so surreal. And that’s because of my fans.” Shawn looks directly into a camera; you have to marvel a little at his ability to project his honesty for the world to see.  “So to each and every one of you who has bought an album or been to a show, you’ve completely changed my life and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough. Music means the world to me and I’m so lucky and grateful to be able to share that with you. I love you all, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, everyone. This is truly an honour. Have a great night.” You can only be glad that Christopher lead you to this corner so no one can see you wiping your eyes. But when the cameras turn back to the emcees, a familiar magnet draws your gaze from across the still packed room.  I’m so proud of you.  You’re only faintly embarrassed to have been caught, but on the bright side, you’re fairly certain Shawn understands you this time.  * Taylor departs quickly at the end of the night, but not before insisting on a quick and covert photo as guests wait for their respective cars outside the venue. “I hope we get to meet again soon,” she says, sounding so genuine that you’re at a loss for words. “I’ll send this to Shawn, kay?” You can only nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Taylor says goodbye to the band a few feet away, and finally wrapping Shawn in a hug. She says something in his ear, though you’re definitely too far away to make it out. Whatever it is, you can still see the flush that creeps up his neck.  Paul meets you around the corner in a huge SUV; Charlie loses the lightning game of rock paper scissors and crawls into the furthest backseat while Shawn insists you take the front.  “You did good up there kid,” Paul says. In the rearview, you watch Shawn’s ears go pink. “A real class act.” “Our precious Canadian,” Geoff coos. The boys laugh. “I have strict instructions to deliver you straight up to the roof,” Paul announces. “I think Andrew’s reserved the bar up there for a couple hours.” He glances over at the console at you. “You too, little one.” You’re shocked, to say the least. But you’re not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.  So that’s how you find yourself twenty-five minutes later, holding a soda on the rooftop of your hotel, leaning against the glass barrier and staring down at the bright lights of Los Angeles below. The air is cooler now, but you know if you go down to your hotel room for a jacket, you’ll probably sit down on your bed and not be able to get up.  Behind you, through the hum of conversation, someone makes your sister laugh; the sound is so familiar and this view so isn’t that you can feel your thoughts spiralling out.  “Did you just pinch yourself?”  You look over to find Shawn, his lips lifted in amusement. The knot of his tie is loose at his throat, the top button of his collar undone. You look away.  “Maybe.” He laughs softly. “Yes.” A breeze lifts the hair from the back of your neck and goosebumps from your arms. When you glance over again, Shawn’s disappeared. A full turn reveals him picking up his tuxedo jacket from the back of a chair. You watch him approach, that strangely helpless feeling from earlier washing over you.  “What?” he asks.  It’s unfair that you look like that right now. Or ever.  You just shake your head, unable to smother a tiny smile. “Nothing.” You gesture out at the city in a weak attempt at a cover. “This.” Warm hands drop the huge tuxedo jacket over your shoulders; it’s perhaps the most soft thing ever laid against your skin. It smells like him. You smile gratefully. “Such a gentleman.” He laughs again, pushing up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “I’ll tell my mom you think so.” Back at the tables by the bar, everyone is engrossed in conversation. Under no one’s scrutiny, it feels like the first time you’ve relaxed all night. For a minute you both just stand there, staring at the dark horizon. “I can’t believe I'm here right now,” you admit finally. “I can’t believe I pulled that off.” “I can,” Shawn says, like it’s just a fact. “I’m glad you did.” The heat in your cheeks has nothing to do with his jacket. “Says the boy who didn’t think he could deliver a speech and absolutely killed it.”  He smiles, almost rueful. “Okay, so we both did good.” Shawn extends his glass towards you. You think of your birthday and carefully lift your eyes, clinking your glass with his. Behind you, conversation still flows; beneath you, the city still moves; around you, the air feels closer again, but this time his eyes are open too.  When you’re finished the toast sip of your drink, when you look out at the lights of LA and back again, Shawn’s eyes are still open.  (part eight)

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes writing #wsitd #mine: fic #SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IT'S LIKE 6K SO THERE'S THAT

[snowbellewells]

Run to Me (in the Dead of Night)

Hello everyone! I’m truly sorry this is a day late, but here’s the next chapter of my MC for the CSSNS event.  We learn a lot of new truths, the good guys come up with a plan, and the CS flirtation heats up more than a few notches (which was fun to write!)

Many MANY thanks again for the amazing banner by @wingedlioness for this story!! I simply adore this!!

Tagging: @cssns @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @branlovesouat @laschatzi @allofdafandoms-blog @linda8084 @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @resident-of-storybrooke @kday426 @capswantrue @jennjenn615 @revanmeetra87 @teamhook

chapter two ~ into the light

Emma was still watching through the large front window of the diner, stunned that even though Mr. Gold was slowly making his way back to his shop - no doubt still watching, but leaving them nonetheless - Graham was still leading an unresisting Killian Jones to his squad car parked at the curb outside, a firm hand on the man’s arm and hand guiding his head down as he opened the door to put him in the back seat. She could barely process what was right before her eyes, knowing Graham wasn’t any more convinced of her new friend’s guilt than she was. If she hadn’t still had Henry pulling on her other hand, looking up at her with frightened and disillusioned young eyes, she would have run out to the sidewalk right then to reason with her boss.

She felt more than saw that Ruby had come to stand at her other side, even before the leggy brunette laid a staying hand on her upper arm.  Her clear gaze was trained to the same place as Emma’s; her solemn dark eyes watching her brother’s movements as he closed the door behind his passenger and moved slowly around to the driver’s side of the cruiser.

“There’s more to this than you know, Emma,” she stated calmly, holding Emma’s doubtful stare when she turned to glare at Ruby in challenge.

“Really, Rubes?” Emma retorted, her exasperation clear, “because it looks like the guy I work with - the friend and boss I’ve come to respect - just arrested someone without cause and is about to wrongfully hold them in jail.”

Her friend didn’t answer right away, her shoulders slumped slightly as she let out a sigh.  Her eyes fell to Henry for a moment, holding out a hand to the boy with bright red painted nails.  He took her hand without hesitation, familiar with and genuinely fond of the usually bubbly, exuberant waitress.  “Henry,” she spoke sweetly, gesturing over her shoulder to her own grandmother who had just come out from behind the counter, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel and giving Emma’s son as warm a smile as Emma had ever seen the tough old bird produce.  “Granny’s taking off until the lunch rush - nobody’s gonna come back in here until then at least.  And you need to get to school.  Will you let Granny take you?”

Henry was more than astute enough to know when he was being shielded and kept in the dark, but to his credit, he didn’t make a fuss or argue. It made Emma’s heart swell to think that maybe - just maybe - no longer than she had known and had a relationship with him, her son trusted her to do her best to right this wrong.  He wrapped his skinny arms around her waist, burrowing his face in her stomach for just a moment while she ruffled her hands through his soft, brown air, then he stepped forward and gave Ruby a quick, impulsive hug too, and went to Granny willingly.

“Come, come, my lad, let’s get you to school,” Granny fussed as she ushered him out the door with just a brief, searching look back at her granddaughter and the deputy.  Emma heard her saying something about, “...and the sooner you get to your classes, the sooner you can be right back here at the counter with that Paige of yours, and Nicholas and Ava maybe, for after school ice cream…” then the door swung shut behind them and they were gone.

Quiet settled over the deserted diner, which was never empty at this point of the morning, despite what Ruby had told Henry, but Emma ignored the rather eerie feeling in the familiar building to turn to her friend, hand on hip and waiting expectantly.  “Well, let’s hear it then,” she prompted when Ruby merely fidgeted and bit her berry red lips before turning and grabbing a rag as if she intended to wipe down tables rather than provide the promised answers.

“Oh no you don’t,” Emma said, placing herself right in Ruby’s path.  “You said I didn’t understand, that I didn’t know everything...so I’m listening.  Please, explain to me why my good, honorable partner would jail an innocent man, because you’re right, I don’t get it.”

Startling her more than a little, Ruby whirled on her, bringing herself nose to nose with Emma and staring her down.  Though most of the time Ruby disguised the strength and power she truly possessed with giggly flirtation and playful short skirts and heels, Emma sensed just then the raw fire beneath the pretty surface.  When her friend spoke, her voice was low and controlled, but it didn’t keep the sound of it from being closest in tone to a warning snarl.  “And just how do you know for certain this Jones is innocent, Emma?! Hmm? I’m pretty sure you just met him this morning, same as I did - same as anyone else in this town. He just suddenly arrives here?  In our hidden, supernatural town, in the midst of a crisis?  And that doesn’t seem the least bit strange to you?  Not to mention that he -- ”

The brunette broke off before completing that thought, whatever it might have been (and Emma was immensely curious).  Figuring it wouldn’t do any good, not when Ruby was already so fired up Emma still couldn’t help pressing, “He what? What were you going to say?”

Ruby’s fit of passion seemed to leave her as quickly as it had come. She slumped, defeated and drained looking into one of the empty booths and motioned Emma to sit opposite her.  She flung the rag onto the table between them before propping her elbows on the formica surface and burying her head in her hands for a couple of long, bracing beats.  Sighing, she shook her head and then murmured, “Nevermind, that’s not important right now.”

“Wait, how is that not…?” Emma started, but Ruby shushed her with a look, her mouth thinned to a warning line as she merely waited until Emma trailed off and paused, finally willing to wait again until Ruby had finished saying what she intended.

“Look, it’s not my story to tell, okay? Just forget it for the moment.  What you do need to hear has to do with our past in the Enchanted Forest, and some things Graham probably didn’t know how to tell you - or even want to tell, but clearly you’re going to have to gain some idea or you’ll think he’s a horrible person for considering Gold’s orders.”  She picked at her nails, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, and then looked up to hold Emma’s gaze steadily.  “Okay,” she blew out a huff of air resignedly, then plunged forward. “So, you know how the kiss you two shared returned Graham’s memories even before the curse broke, right?”

Emma nodded impatiently, not sure where this discussion was going and fidgeting more and more in her seat to get back to the station and straighten out whatever was happening.

“Well, turns out his memories of who he was weren’t all that kiss brought back. I told you before that Graham had been taken by the Evil Queen, conscripted as one of her Black Knights, but Emma - she literally had his heart, held captive in her vault with countless others. And when someone’s heart is in another possession like that, they lose their own free will.  The person holding their heart controls them completely.  There’s no way to fight it; that person’s a pawn, a puppet, a slave forced to do the master’s bidding.  Regina used him in ways he hasn’t been able to put into words, that he hasn’t had the time or ability to deal with yet, but our pack bond lets me sense at least some of it - impressions of the fear, the pain, the helplessness - he couldn’t deny her anything.  He was trapped, but a part of him still loathes himself for the things she made him do to others, and the things she did to him against his will.”  Ruby’s eyes burned with righteous fire even as her voice floundered several times in explaining to Emma just what her brother had been through.  “Let’s just say, I hope you guys find Regina before she shows her face to Granny or me.  I don’t think either of us wants to be responsible if our inner beast takes control.”

Swallowing hard, Emma signified that she understood the naked threat; she really couldn’t even blame Ruby.  There was a part of her still aching for Mayor Mills’ hide herself for the trauma, loneliness, and self-doubt the woman had inflicted on Henry - not to mention that she was also the reason Emma had been alone all her life and never known the parents who did love her and had wanted her very much.  Who but a villain would try to convince a ten-year-old they were crazy in order to cover up their own wrongdoing?  But, she had to fight to keep that impulse in cheek.  Here before her was just one example of why she couldn’t go vigilante, however good her reasons.  Too many others were right on the brink, and somehow they had to keep the powder keg Storybrooke had become from blowing up in all of their faces.

Yet, she was also still more than a bit confused.  What did Graham’s nightmare at Regina’s hands have to do with Gold and his arresting Killian Jones? Cocking her head at her friend on the other side of the booth, Emma pressed, still trying to see the whole picture.  “But if Graham’s been under someone else’s control all this time, wouldn’t that be all the more reason for him to do what he feels is right, not just whatever Gold tells him to do?”

Ruby blew out a frustrated breath, leaning forward again intently. “Think Emma,” she murmured under her breath, quietly seething even though no one was around to overhear them.  “How do you think Graham is still alive if he got out from under Regina’s thumb?”  She closed her eyes briefly, as if having to gather the strength to think about, much less say, the next words she uttered.  “Don’t you understand? That night he collapsed...that wasn’t some random health episode or heart anomaly. That was Regina trying to kill him before he said too much.  She attempted to crush his heart into dust, and she only failed because of the superhuman strength he gains with his werewolf side.”

Emma drew in a sharp gasp, surprised and appalled to learn suddenly how close she’d come to watching him die right in front of her.  The night had been traumatic and frightening enough before, but to realize that all the time his heart had been outside his body while someone else tried to squeeze the life from it, was sickening.

Now that Ruby could see her friend was truly comprehending the horror, she pressed on, eager to have the entire dark tale out in the open light and dealt with at last. “Well, once he recovered, Graham came and told Granny and I everything.  We had to get his heart back. It wasn’t even a question.  So…”  she licked her lips, leaning forward to whisper even more furtively, truly resembling the stalking predator she could readily become, “we broke into the Mills family crypt.  We waited for a night when we knew the moon would be full, all the senses and awareness and stealth we have at our command at the peak, and when we also knew Regina would be kept late at a town council meeting and then a budget committee one after. Once we forced our way in, it wasn’t hard to detect the drag marks on the floor where that ridiculously ornate coffin have been shoved over and back again atop that secret entrance.  Graham - horrible as it was - vividly remembered where his heart was hidden the minute he set foot in that cursed chamber again.”

She shook her head briefly, as if staving off some sort of reaction she had to close her eyes against, a mental image she wished to shed welling up behind her eyes.  Emma didn’t have siblings, had never gotten the chance to experience such a bond, but she knew how it had pained her on her friend’s behalf when people had turned on Mary Margaret for her tryst with David, or when she even suspected someone might have upset Henry. It had her wanting to reach out to the she-wolf in sympathy.

A grateful if trembling smile stretched over Ruby’s painted lips, “Thanks,” she whispered, sensing Emma’s intent before the uncertain gesture was even complete.  “I promise, we’re almost finished.  It was just important you understood how we got here.”  She squared her shoulders, blew out a breath, and pulled the last bit of the story out at last.  “There we were, Graham’s glowing, magically preserved heart outside his body, but in his possession again.  Still, we didn’t know what to do, how to get it back in his chest where it belonged.  Would there be side effects?  Was it damaged after 28 years of squeezing and prying and separation from his body?  We may be magical creatures, but we don’t actually weld magic like that. We really only had one choice - much as we didn’t want to make it.  Only one other person in this town beside Regina herself might have known how to help us…”

“Gold,” Emma stated breathlessly in dawning realization, the pieces suddenly starting to click together in horrifying place.

“Yep,” Ruby affirmed bluntly, the “p” popping from her lips with scornful distaste. “And you know he never does anyone a favor without exacting a price.”

“Well,” Emma sat back hard against the vinyl of the booth seat, digesting all she’d heard and readying herself for the fight ahead.  When she met her friend’s eyes again a few seconds later there was a steely determination in their green depths that, even after their relatively short acquaintance, Ruby knew most people had learned not to question - and that she had come to respect.  “Enough of that,” Emma continued stalwartly; her stubborn mind clearly made up as she stood from the bench seat and squared her shoulders. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Wait, what?” Ruby spluttered, scrambling after her and tossing her apron on the table to follow Emma to the entrance.  “What are you going to do? I don’t think--”

Emma spun at the door, green eyes flashing, “Look, I understand why you guys went to him.  You really didn’t have any other choice.  I made that mistake once myself,” but then Emma drew herself up straighter, as if trying to physically stand taller to gather herself for the fight ahead.  “I don’t want Graham hurt either, but we can’t do our jobs and protect this town with Gold and his favors to collect hanging over our heads.  Plus, Graham still isn’t really free if he’s just having to act as a different person’s puppet.  Is he?”

Ruby didn’t answer this at first not sure, not sure how to counter Emma’s logic, but concern for her brother whose heart she had literally seen pulsing fragilely outside of his body not that long ago, still overriding most everything else.  Plus, she had almost all she could manage to keep up with Emma, who was now striding briskly toward the station, with her ridiculously high wedge heels over the uneven pavement of Storybrooke’s aging sidewalks.  Finally, she managed to get in breathlessly, “No, I guess he isn’t, when you put it that way.  But still, do we really wanna give the guy who put his heart back in reason to rip it out again?”

The question made Emma’s shoulders slump marginally, but she didn’t stop moving forward. Her voice was low and taut with worry over the seriousness of the situation when she did respond.  “I get what you’re saying, Rubes.  I do. But we may not have a choice.  This can’t go on forever.  We need to turn the tables on him.”

By the time this hissed whisper exchange was complete, they had reached the station. Emma jerked the outer door roughly in her haste and turmoil, and Ruby simply clattered in behind her - concerned naturally, but also gaining a bit of her friend’s projected confidence.  Bucking the ruling power in town appealled to her, and it was long overdue.  She’d do what she could and hope for the best. Emma was the Savior after all; she had broken the curse that gave them all back their true selves, perhaps she really could set them free once again.

Neither woman was quite prepared, however, for the calm, once might even call it ordinary, sight which greeted them once they got past the lobby and into the main office of the station.  Both Graham and Killian stood near the bars of the cell that the sheriff had clearly escorted their new guest into.  Killian Jones looking much more relaxed and at home than someone newly arrested and taken to jail had any right to - leaning against the wall of the cell, one arm propped at the elbow up on the metal crossbar and his legs crossed casually, seeming at ease as if he were at home in his favorite chair.  Graham on the other hand, looked downright anxious and sheepish, clearly not happy that Gold had been able to face his hand so neatly and all signs pointing to the guilt he felt for taking Killian in without a good reason.

It was evident that the two had been deep in conversation, and neither seemed at all upset with the other, which Emma happily took as a good sign.  Once having that gauge of the situation she made her way across the room toward them, Ruby at her heels.

“Hey there, beautiful,” Killian offered in greeting, his eyes twinkling playfully despite the less than ideal surroundings in which he found himself.

Emma felt the room go hot and her vision a bit fuzzy at the way his gaze seemed to track her motions; if she didn’t know better it would remind her of the way a predator in the wild tracked its prey before pouncing and devouring. Despite the heated flow of her blood, a shudder ran through her, making her response shaky at best, “Hey yourself, Jones.  You’re awfully chipper for someone recently incarcerated.”  She flustered despite her easy banter, shocked at how hard she’d had to bite her tongue not to call him “Handsome” in place of his name and how hard she was still fighting not to reach through the bars that separated them and pull him closer by the edge of his open jacket.

She fisted her hands reflexively and then shoved them in her back pockets, trying to simply look expectant to hear what they’d been up to.  But Jones’ eyes still watched her intently, and his brow arched with a wicked bent at her fidgeting, as if he knew exactly what was going on inside her.

“Well Lass, a lovely lady such as yourself is already visiting me - and will presumably be one of my jailers - so I can’t complain overmuch.  Your partner here has been filling me in on the rest of the story as well.  All considered, I’ve certainly been in worse straits and lived to tell the tale.”

Emma had vaguely felt both Ruby and Graham go a bit tense at Killian’s “beautiful” and his blatant flirtation, and though she’d been almost too engrossed in his aura to fully register their strange reactions, she could tell now that both of them were still a bit on their guard, perhaps even suspicious, though each was working to portray an appearance of calm.  Her eyes darted from one of her friends to the other sharply, tyring to pick up whatever last cue she was clearly missing.

When she came up empty, Emma simply decided to plow on - frustrated but anxious to move her plan forward, get Jones out of that cell, find the poor missing woman they needed to locate, and not - definitely not - tackle Jones onto her desk and mess her hands in that dark, shaggy hair of his while she kissed that infuriating smirk he was leveling at her off his face.  The picture was so vivid as it flashed in her head, she had to physically shake it loose, and her words sounded almost desperate as they spilled out in a rush and forced her to refocus.

“Good, we’ve apparently all caught up and in the loop then. Here’s the thing. We can’t let Mr. Gold, Rumplestiltskin, whoever he wants to call himself, run this town.  We need to protect ourselves and the people who’ve trusted us to keep them safe as well.  I say, we find this Belle, reunite she and Gold and tell him our debts are both paid in full,” she gestured between she and Graham but didn’t stop talking, seeing all three members of her audience open their mouths to interrupt and protest.  “I’m serious.  We let him know we’ve done what he asked - which was the right thing to do anyway - and we did it together.  So we’ve both returned the favor he did for us.  The end. Simple. He can’t hold it over us forever. I’ll take her over there myself even, so he doesn’t go for your heart again,” she added to Graham.  “This is my reckless plan after all,” she tacked on with attempted levity.

Graham protested immediately, “Emma, I couldn’t let you take that risk alone to protect my own skin.”

She shook her head, ready to tell him she didn’t want him to suffer any more at the hands of twisted, power-tripping lunatics, even if it made things awkward by letting him know she knew all, or upset with his sister for telling her.  Before she could get the words out, however, a deep voice interrupted hoarsely; emotion making it rough but all-too-certain of what he was saying.

“It’s awfully dangerous, Love.  You may think it sounds clear-cut and reasonable.  But things are never simple with Rumplestitlskin.  He lives for his deals, and he’s the king of loopholes. Trust me when I tell you that thinking you’ve gained the upper hand can prove deadly.” He raised the oddly stiff hand on his left as silent proof.

She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest defensively and though his clearly painful past with the Crocodile as he called Gold hurt to consider, she couldn’t let it stop them.  They could all pay, but they would regardless if they kept letting Gold call the shots.  “Regardless,” she countered, “we’re going to have to take our chances.  You guys go track down any leads you think could help us find this Belle. I’ll stay here with Killian.  If we bring Gold’s missing loved one back to him, try to make our own deal in return, maybe, if the prize sweet enough, he won’t be able to resist.”  She shrugged, out of words now, “It’s the best chance we’ve got.”

“Emma, are you sure that’s wise?” Graham questioned awkwardly and then trailed off, just as Ruby began to step forward, shaking her head.

“What?” Emma questioned, planting a hand on her hip.  “Am I not a good enough deputy to watch over things here now?”

Killian reached out through the bars and pulled on her hand gently, “Easy Lass, don’t think that for a second.  It’s me they don’t quite trust.”

She turned to look at him slightly, not sure what was happening, but he sighed with a sheepish look from Graham to Ruby.  “I already told the Sheriff here how I got to this land with Mayor Mills’ sorceress mother, and did some shady things to stay on her good side back in our land.  Never mind the fact that…” he paused, licking his lips as he glanced down at his worn boots then back up at her from under dark lashes, “they can’t help doubting one of their own who doesn’t belong in a pack.  It’s part of their nature - wolves aren’t meant to run alone.  But I’ve never quite fit, and any pack I’ve tried to join sees me as a loner and wonders what’s wrong with me. Then the pattern continues and I’m still alone.”

“Wait, seriously?!?” Emma sputtered incredulously, eyes bugging, even as she sensed Graham relaxing, clearly glad not to be hiding any longer, and Ruby smirked knowingly at Killian’s admission and Emma’s reaction.  “You too? Are you serious right now?”

Killian’s smirk stretched across his face in an irresistible, hungry expression; one that Emma wanted to let devour her no matter the cost.  The low murmur of his voice rolled through her like tingling pleasure despite how she tried not to let it show. Still, she knew the heat must have rose as a blush in her cheeks and at least a small smile at his words.  “Come now, Swan. Don’t pretend my animal magnetism didn’t draw you from the first moment our eyes met.”

Emma found herself leaning forward, just as Killian leaned in as well, forehead to the metal bars, his warm breath on her cheek. “Don’t try to hide it, Love,” his teeth flashed. “I can see it, smell it on you. That kind of desire just can’t be hidden.”

#cssns #cs au ff #cs werewolf au #werewolf mc #run to me (in the dead of night) #chapter two

[coalitiongirl]

ive been watching your scenes to rewatch and ive been crying at literally all of them. out of curoisity, what are your favourite ouat scenes? either sq or general? also side note, i love your latest fic, such an interesting premise. i get so scared every time someone says an order and emmas forced to comply, that scene with the trolls had me on edge. and the fact that cora must suspect something about emma now - im so scared but excited ahah :D have a nice day :)

OH I super dropped the ball on those omg, i have so many others!! but i haven’t been able to rewatch in a long time, it hard 😩

of course i LOVE almost every swan queen scene!! it’s hard for me to pick favorites because nearly every one pings something else inside me omfg. I don’t think there’s a single sq scene I couldn’t write an essay about WHOOPS. so lemme try to answer this with just some of my favorite non-sq scenes 😅

Emma in True North: hoo boy, this is probably in my scenes to rewatch but that scene on the road, MAN. there’s so much careful buildup with emma’s abandonment issues and how much she sees herself in nick and ava. and they have a chance she never does and dammit, she fights for them!! she fights for two kids just like her and they get their moment and jmo turns that realization into agony with sheer artistry in emma’s FACE in their final moment. god.

Regina in We Are Both: this was the episode that sold me on Regina! tbh i’d marathoned s1 as soon as they announced mulan was going to be in s2 so i hadn’t been focusing much on thinking before that?? and then suddenly there’s Regina, in all her rich and layered stories, and i fell hARD. the whole narrative of the episode- Regina resisting parental abuse until she becomes what she’s always feared to be free!! and that translating into her saying ‘no, this isn’t going to continue to the next generation. even if i lose the only thing that matters to me.’ do u ever stan!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE VERY WELL. END ME.

Emma in Firebird: listen. never follow ur idols to ur next fandom or you’ll suddenly realize they actually hate women and then get ‘’’muted’’’ for ‘’’yelling at her too much’’’ but jane espenson did a GOOD with the flashbacks in this one (present day still literal and figurative hell tho!!). The concept of Emma’s jacket as armor isn’t an original one, but the execution was honestly stellar. Emma forging this connection with an older hardened woman who can’t let go of the past either!! emma destroyed and remade into the lady we met on her twenty-eighth birthday. GOD. SHE FINDS HER DAUGHTER. and i gotta say, the vulnerable-tearful-young thing jmo was doing w emma in s5 didn’t work for me in terms of what present day was trying to convey, but it’s a perfect fit for that flashback, i WEPT.

Regina in Quite A Common Fairy: Lana OWNS the cave scene with Tink, god. The depth and breadth of emoTION. The episode and the narrative itself builds it up from episode one! because this regina on the road to redemption but finally giving us a glimpse into the emotional and mental state she was in as the young queen- she has all this rage and she’s SUSTAINED by it, it’s her only real truth and constant and she’s terrified of what might happen if she lets it go for even an instant and chooses hope instead. (Lana’s voice when Regina says she’s afraid that without rage she might just ‘—float away’ is something that has stayed with me for a long, long time.) REGINA PULLING OUT HER HEART TO MAKE A POINT. far from the last time she will, but how affecting!! god!!

Emma and Snow in S1: There are a few moments i’m thinking of (and i’m literally writing this on the treadmill so pls forgive the lack of episode names) and all of them are so stellar, god. The moment when Snow finds Emma living out of her car early on. Snow and Emma sitting at the table at the loft holding hands. Emma lying down next to a crying Snow. Snow yelling at Emma for being so selfish when she tries running off with Henry?? EMMA SHOWING UP AT MARY MARGARET’S DOOR SEARCHING FOR A ~PERSON~ AND MARY MARGARET SILENTLY LETTING HER IN. Snow and Emma work best in S1 in the silences and the fights, where they’re allowed to just care and be family, and I treasure each of those moments as much as they do.

Regina and Zelena in the Kansas: There’s a lot of effort put into this dynamic right near what seemed like the end, playing with how exactly Zelena perceives her happy ending to go- and then Regina strikes it all down by being different, by changing, by being someone Zelena hadn’t believed either of them capable of. And then Regina goes to Zelena’s cell and offers her!! sisterhood!! my god. i instantly fell in love with the dynamic in that moment and i’m forever pressed that the ‘it’s nice to have family in town’ line was cut. because you can tell that regina craves family and craves unmaking this second monster of her mother’s and zelena was going to TAKE that second chance and hey! this seems the perfect time to go off-message and

Belle in Family Business and Heroes and Villains: imma be honest, i like belle just fine in the early seasons but i have zero interest in rumbelle, which means a lot of fast-forwarding through her scenes. But these two scenes were ENCHANTING. Mirror Belle preying on Belle with the truth that she’s afraid to face! Emilie does such a fantastic job conveying so much cruelty in that scene, I was gaping and enthralled and hoping shattered sight was going to work exactly like that (and tbh props to ginny for doing a hella creepy snow at the start of Shattered Sight). And that town line scene!!! What a stunning, evocative scene. Belle reclaiming agency and taking action in such a 100% cold-blooded but necessary way!! that’s my ravenclaw babe!!!

Mulan and Aurora: I was young, and I Believed, and I Believed for a very long time. I am appalled at my naïveté too, don’t worry.

Regina in Enter the Dragon: LOOK it’s not about the leather but it’s a lil about the leather!!! I really appreciate both Regina in the past and present in this one and also how gay it is, and I’m most charmed by lil evil pep talking nugget Regina who just wants you to be the very best villain you can be! It’s such an artful melding of the exuberance of young!Regina and the delight in chaos of eq!Regina and i, for one, am a fan.

Emma (and Henry) in The Stranger/An Apple Red as Blood: my gOD. Okay I think one of the first times I cried while watching this show was in Emma’s desperate, hysterical denial to August about the curse. She’s so clearly hit rock bottom and she’s TERRIFIED of believing and it’s breaking her. SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONES HAPPINESS. SHE DOESNT WANT IT. THAT IS CRAP!!!! i love her!! i love emma swan!!! i do!!!!! and then moving into the end of the next episode when she tells henry she’s leaving and just!! ‘henry! life isn’t a story!’ man this show had some incredible early work. sigh. emma kneeling in front of henry begging him to listen! my god.

Regina in the Cricket Game: so i’m leaving out all my fave sq moments which severely limits the number of regina and emma scenes i can talk about here but the flashbacks in this one SURE ARE SOMETHING. regina has hit rock bottom in this set and you feel it in every moment, in her REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT CAUSED MORE PAIN and frickin stABBING snow and that dark scene with the candle oh god. this is a regina who doesn’t think about looking back anymore but who doesn’t think about looking forward, either, and she’s terrifying. it reminds me a lot of the scene later this season in Welcome to Storybrooke where she takes out snow’s heart and ‘see? i can have everything’ but there are tears sliding down her face. regina in enraged despair is something to behold!!

Henry (and Emma and Regina) in Operation Mongoose: Henry doesn’t often get lengthy times to shine that aren’t about other characters, but he was literally a YA hero in the author’s universe! man! what a kid! and his scenes with bandit Regina are some of my all-time favorites, as is that heartstopping moment when he reaches the top of that tower and flings the door open and Emma KNOWS him. reader, i wept. i wept hard. talk about your earned moments!!!

Emma as Dark Swan: posture! clothing! positioning! voice work! dark swan was a revelation i’m still rightfully bitter about, because she was EVERYTHING in those early episodes. the way she caressed snow’s face in first episode of 5a. the faux-innocent with the calculating eyes on the ship with whats-his-name. every interaction with henry where she was trying to be a PERSON. the way she moved! the way she felt more reptilian than human! i wanted to know everything about her!! (then i did and quit the show lol) honestly some of jmo’s best acting to date, i’m forever in awe.

That Still Small Voice: look, this is an episode about a cricket and it remains one of my favorite quality ouat episodes. Archie sells it best as an adult influenced by his past without quite knowing it, and Archie and Henry make for a really engaging dynamic in here. There is nothing about Archie’s professional behavior that doesn’t make me want to scream but this remains a very, very good episode.

Emma in Sympathy for the De Vil/Lily: okay this is cheating a little because so much of this is also Regina but!! Emma individually shines in this narrative and throughout 4b. From the moment she finds out about what her parents had done, you can watch it slowly draining a part of her?? yes her eyes got redder but there was also this kind of apathy about EVERYTHING. And tbh the Cruella episode is pretty awesome on its own (I love the slow revelation that Cru is the villain, what a stellar execution of a fave trope) but WHEN EMMA KILLS HER. In the exact moment that Cruella says ‘heroes don’t kill’. that’s what pushes emma over the edge!! and then emma ready to kill again the next episode because she feels like she’s sliding into an abyss, i couldn’t BREATHE. emma is incredible when the narrative lets her be angry, and i wanted So Much More. Speaking of which, Emma getting angrier and angrier and almost losing it in The Snow Queen was more of that anger!! i am HUNGRY for it.

Regina and Snow in The Evil Queen: This episode is messy af but damn did my heart skip a beat when a hooded hero saves Regina and tears off her hood and it’s SNOW. This episode does so much of what makes Snow/Regina so fascinating and frustrating, both in the present and the past. Their interactions in the woods moved me! changed me! and Regina had already crossed the point of no return but oh man, oh man, the way they’d almost gotten somewhere for a minute there.

Regina and Henry in Save Henry: A classic, a work of art, and I’ve said so much about it in the past that I’m exhausted just thinking about expressing it all again now. But what a STORY of an evil queen who falls in love with a little boy. What a narrative!! The promo pictures from this episode came out when I was sitting in the hospital for a checkup while I was expecting my daughter, and I was tearing up and the nurses thought it was about the ultrasound. I’M NOT PROUD. This is a love story!!! And it culminates again in A Curious Thing, by the way, which put another ten years on my life, an Epic !

Emma and Henry in New York City Serenade: boy was this a journey, but I was absolutely spellbound omg. This was a love song to a fantasy but it’s a fantasy that never unmakes Emma– she’s afraid of commitment and happiness and everything permanent in her life that isn’t Henry, but she’s still going to take that leap despite herself. It’s a wonderful character study that captures Emma’s essence in a new world, with a new past.

Snow in The Miller’s Daughter: Snow is at her best when the show isn’t painting her with rose-colored glasses and we get to see her darker side, and I don’t think she ever gets quite as dark in the first three seasons as she is when she’s standing there, smiling earnestly at Regina as she tells her that the key to Cora loving Regina is in the poisoned heart she holds. My god. It’s so incredibly cold-blooded and vile, and it’s absolutely the kind of manipulative pragmatism that suits Snow best. I am enthralled and horrified.

Neal and Emma and Henry and Gold in Manhattan: This is one of those really cool scenes where even though I don’t particularly care for half the characters within it, everyone acted the hell out of it and it’s so GOOD. There’s so much tension and you’re holding your breath through the squabbling, and then Henry shows up and you KNOW. You know what’s going to happen and you’re terrified for Emma and it’s so visceral, right up until the instant when Neal demands Henry’s age and Henry shouts ELEVEN and my god, my god. What a reveal. What a scene.

There are more!! so many scenes and moments i’ve loved over the years. Emma and young!Lily! Snowing in Snow Falls! Anna of Arendale!! Snow and Emma in Lost Girl!! Ruby in Red Handed! The David/Emma dragon fight in A Land Without Magic! Regina tearing out that heart in The Doctor and meeting Daniel again?? Regina and her father in hell. all of Hat Trick. i think twenty is a good place to stop, but hoo boy, when this show was good, it was GOOD. alas.

#ouat #Anonymous

[justanoutlawfic]

Broken Together: A The Lost Get Found Prequel

I was watching This Is Us last night, which showed the story of how one of the couples chose to foster adopt. It made me want to write about Snowing’s journey to adopting Emma (and later Neal) in this verse. My late anniversary one shot for this series, because I’ve been writing it for over a year now. You guys have given it so much support and love and I’ll be forever grateful for everyone who has read and shared. This verse means the world to me, as does all of you who read it.

Trigger warning: mentions of infertility.

Also on AO3/FF

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine

Could healing still be spoken and save us

The only way we'll last forever is broken together-Casting Crowns

David could hear Mary crying and it broke his heart.

 That morning they had gone to the doctor, buzzing with excitement. On Christmas they had gotten a positive pregnancy test. They had spent the next few days talking about the baby, picking out names. They had gotten so ahead of themselves, it had just been a long time coming. They were finally going to be parents!

 Then the doctor ran some tests and a few more. He walked back into the room with a sullen face. Mary wasn’t pregnant. She hadn’t lost the baby, there had never been one to begin with.

 “It’s rare, but false positives do happen,” he had told them.

 Mary didn’t say anything, she was quiet. From the moment they left the office and on the whole car ride home, not a single word escaped her mouth. David tried to do what he did best, comfort her. He told her they could try again, that they would have a baby someday. Her eyes stayed focused on the road ahead of them. When they got home, she went straight up to their room. David followed at first, only to get a door slammed in his face. She needed her space, he respected that.

 Now she was sobbing and he wanted to do anything he could to fix it. He knew he deep down there was nothing he could do. She wasn’t pregnant, they weren’t going to be welcoming a child into the world.

 Next Christmas, once again, it’d just be the two of them.

 David was okay with that, he would be fine if it was just the two of them until the day he died. He married Mary because he loved her, not for the possibility of a baby. He knew she would be, too. It still wasn’t their dream.

 A single tear fell down his face. He wanted a child, he wanted a family. David had been that kid obsessed with dolls and babies, he babysat for families nearby the farm. He loved kids, he ran lots of events for the children of Storybrooke. Everyone always asked when he was going to have one of his own.

 Maybe it wasn’t going to happen. Maybe his dream wasn’t meant to come true.

“I don’t want to try again.”

 The words slipped out of Mary’s mouth so quickly, she couldn’t take them back. She didn’t want to, but she had been keeping it in since the doctor’s office. It had been 2 weeks and she was due to return to work soon. She and David sat at their usual table at Granny’s. His hand hovered over his coffee mug, staring at her.

 “What?”

“I…I think I want to get on the pill. Just so there’s no possible way that I could get pregnant.” It was pretty redundant in her mind, since it clearly wasn’t going to happen, but she didn’t even want to think it could.

David’s brows furrowed. “I don’t understand. Are you saying you don’t want a baby?”

“I’m saying I don’t want to ever think I’m pregnant again.” Mary chewed on her lip. “David, these past few weeks have been hell on me, on us. This is just from us finding out that we weren’t really pregnant. What if I did…and then I lost the baby? I don’t think I could handle it.”

He slowly nodded. “Whatever you want.”

“I do still want a child,” she told him. “I just…it’s obvious that I’m not going to be able to carry him or her. There are other ways.”

David reached over and took her hand. “Of course there are, we can talk about them all.”

Mary let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, David.”

“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself.”

“But it’s my fault. You heard the doctor…”

“These things just happen. There’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it.” David lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Mary, I just need you to know, no matter what. I love you. If it’s just us, I’ll be okay with that.”

Mary bit her lip once again. “That’s not your dream.”

“Sometimes happy endings aren’t what we think they’ll be.” He smiled. “I just need you for mine, you have to know that.”

 She nodded and gave him a weak half-smile. Mary knew he was right, she felt the same. Deep down, though, she really wanted a baby.

 A few days later, school had started up once again. Mary stood in her classroom, addressing 20 4th graders, who were still on a vacation buzz. It was hard to get their attention, but she managed to convince them to share at least one fun thing they had done over the break. The day went by quicker than she expected.

 After her assistant helped the bus-riders to their specific lane, she stayed behind with those who were going to be picked up. One of her students, Joselyn, was coloring when her mother walked in, holding two car seats. Mary raised an eyebrow and stood up, walking over to Dory.

 “Hey Mary,” Dory grinned. “How was your holiday?”

“It was okay. Who are these two?”

“This is Nicholas and Ava,” she explained.

Mary smiled down at the infants, tickling their chins. They gurgled up at her, pumping their fists. “I didn’t know you were pregnant.”

“I wasn’t. They sort of fell into me and Michael’s laps. He had a niece who was pregnant, she didn’t tell anyone until she was in her last month. She wasn’t ready to be a mother, so she asked us to adopt them.”

Mary paused. “Adoption, huh?”

Dory shrugged. “We always talked about doing it, we had some troubles conceiving Joselyn, but she was our surprise. There are just so many babies in need of a home.”

 Mary nodded in agreement as Dory walked over to help her eldest daughter with her things. She knew she had to talk to David.

 “I don’t need a child that I share blood with,” Mary told David that night over dinner.

He nodded in agreement. “I was hoping you’d bring this up.”

She giggled. “Why didn’t you?”

“I just wanted to wait. We just found out that you weren’t really pregnant, I figured I’d give it time.”

“Michael’s niece was lucky, she had family to take her babies. Not everyone is. I just…I think we have a lot to offer.”

David grinned. “Well, then let’s start looking.”

The next few months were spent looking into agencies and putting out applications. They built a profile and allowed their agency to put it up. They got some interviews, but nothing concrete. Mary loved each young woman that they came into contact with, yet wasn’t surprised when they would get the call from their social worker saying she went with someone else.

 Mary was a school teacher, David the town sheriff. They had references, a beautiful home. Yet, something just seemed to be working against them. After the 5th failed match, David was starting to lose hope.

 He was sitting at his desk one afternoon when Graham walked in, holding two cups of coffee. David looked up with a grateful smile.

 “Thanks,” he said, accepting it.

“No problem.” Graham sat across from him and took out his phone. “Aw, yes.”

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just my sister and brother-in-law. They’ve been fostering these three kids for the past two years and just found out they get to adopt them.”

David arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, now that their other kids are older, they wanted to give back. There are so many children in the system in need of homes.”

 So, David did his research. He found videos of people who had fostered, from former foster children themselves. The statistics of foster care were alarming, so many children were in need of good, stable homes. While a lot of the children were going to be reunited with their families at some point, there were many in need of forever homes.

 He waited another week before bringing it up to Mary. They had yet another failed interview and he could tell she was growing discouraged. It started off by simply sending her a video of a family adopting their foster child. He figured at the least, she’d think of it as a cute little story. She was constantly tearing up over happy Facebook posts.

 That night, he worked one of the rare late shifts. As sheriff, he normally would choose to be home before dinner, but Leroy had requested him to switch. He didn’t get home until a little after midnight, being careful not to wake his sleeping wife as he changed and crawled into bed.

 Moments later, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist.

 “Fostering, huh?” She whispered.

He slowly smiled. “You’re still awake.”

“I was waiting for you. You know there are risks, don’t you? There’s a chance that the child could be reunited with a biological family member.”

“And a birth mother can change her mind up until the adoption is finalized,” he pointed out.

“You really wouldn’t mind possibly not getting a baby?”

“I just want to be a dad. I don’t care how old the child is.”

 He finally looked down at her, the moonlight drifting through their window. A smile had spread across her face and he traced her cheek with his finger.

 “Okay,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“You said that sometimes happy endings aren’t what we expect. We’d still be helping a child that needs a home, we’d still become parents. I want to do this, I already started looking into classes.”

He grinned and kissed her. “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, more than words can say.”

 She snuggled into his side and he held her closer.

 “You do realize this means we could have a baby by Christmas after all, you know,” he whispered.

Snow smiled. “I can’t wait.”

 Little did they know their baby, their child, was just 4 hours away in a group home in Boston. She had long given up hope.

 Luckily for her, they had enough hope for all three of them.

#snowing #snowing au #charming family #charming family au #the lost get found verse #mama snow #mama snow au #daddy charming #daddy charming au

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story Part 33

Sorry for the delay. I will continue writing this story now.

Earlier that fall, there had been an incident that I have failed to mention. My female friends and I had all been hanging out in the front of my house one night talking and being sort of hyper. What we were doing or saying I do not remember and it was probably a little dumb. In the darkness I heard someone started walking down the path in front of my house. I shrieked because I was shocked. It turned to be this stocky woman with short black hair. She looked pissed and ready to do battle. And because I had shrieked, she was all kind of pissed. She came up to me and started saying she was going to take us all out. We looked at one another to confirm with one another that this adult woman was actually being serious right now. She had her fists balled. I had never been in a fist fight in my life. She especially wanted to fight me, and seemed to have made some strange assumption that I of all people was the mob boss. I think she was kind of crazy, since I was clearly not alpha female, and I got this sense that this is what she thought I was. Eventually, my friends all stepped in and tried to explain to her that we really really had meant no offense, and we would rather leave her alone than fight her. We had to agree to strange things that implied her dominance over us physically. After making fun of my hair and my make up and anything she could think to call me out on, she headed off down the road.

I found out that her name was Angel. She was Kyle's sister. Well, she wasn't really Kyle's sister since Kyle is the eldest and Ronnie had four boys and one baby girl now. Angel had been the daughter of one of Kyle's mother's boyfriends from the eighties, a long long time ago. From what I gathered, Angel didn't like her real father, and was so deplete of a real family, she had stuck on by Ronnie and sometimes had lived with her off and on throughout her life. She was very rough. I was weary of her and had learned to watch out for her.

Somehow, despite being ground up to my eyelids, I had convinced my father that I had to go to an event at the school to maintain my art grade. It was manditory I told him, and if I didn't go I might get even more suspensions. This was untrue, but it worked well in the end. There was a sort of performance art showing at the high school, to be performed in the high school gymnasium, so it wasn't completely false either in the sense that there was a school event. I was even able to get a signature from my art teacher being intentionally vague about the details of my grade relating to this showing just so I could go. Ms. Fiske (my art teacher) hated my father. She didn't know about the abusive stuff. She was mad because years previously, back when I had been a fifth grader and she had just gotten her first divorce, she had come on to my dad one day in front of the house as he was all sweaty and manly and doing housework, offering herself up as a casual sex partner, and he never returned the interest.

This was hardly a reason to dislike him, but she had also gotten word that he was a republican. And she was tribal like that. Ordinarily, I would have saluted her strong attitude for it's political responsibility – not then as I was in a whole sea of vague concerning politics, but if you knew Ms. Fiske, she really didn't know what the hell she was talking about ever be she on the left or the right. She contradicted herself politically everyday. Really, the whole thing was more about picking a side than understanding why. She even would sometimes start making the same arguments that republicans would.

In any case, it worked to my benefit, because I then had one ally with whom I might be able to curry favors from against my father if need be.

Ms. Fiske had somehow convinced Whitney (Zack's sister) to come to this event as someone who took tickets. We got in for free, which was nice. And Zack was there strangely enough, and due to this, I was immediately disinterested in the performers who had come to our small town in any way.  I wish I had been, because what I did see of it near the end was really quite amazing. At the very end of the show, I walked in, and there were these intricate paper mache masked people, some of it was like clay. It was sort of demonic, sort of antique, sort of tribal. One of their heads was so enormous I could barely comprehend they could keep that on their face. There were dancers, and puppets dancing around. It was completely entrancing. I've seen nothing like it since. Our small close minded town wasn't deserving of them. The person I am today, I would have passed on flirting opportunities to watch the performance. Any guy I would truly be interested in today would be way ahead of me. This very well was probably the most lovely thing that had ever come into town. It was just this really obscure group of puppeteers and dancers. I noticed sadly that they all slept in this moderate sized van with their props and everything. I could not believe the amount of struggle they were putting into it, night after night, in rural cold little towns far from civilization, packing up there art and taking it to people who probably wouldn't even remember in it in a year. It seems very lonely, and very rough.

Instead of all that, I had ran outside with Zack. He started talking to me about conformity. He started making vague statements about society. And he claimed that him and I were the anticonformists, able to see through the guise of reality into a deeper one. He really felt very connected with me for this reason because we were the real ones and everyone else was fake according to him. I felt pretty pleased that he regarded me so highly, and a little taken aback. This was not something I was generally used to being any good at – having a conversation about the world at large. What is now a complex fabric that has multiple stretches of possible roads and connections was at that time a blank slate. What Zack told me starting that night completely filled that blank slate. And my affections and loyalty, as well as the flattery of being so highly regarded as to be 'one of the chosen few', kept me from having any doubts about what he ever said.

We then proceeded to walk around the school and break off all the plastic signs and anything else on the school we could find. Deep down, I didn't mean any of it. But Zack and I had to do it for symbolism's sake. This was part of what it meant to be an anticonformist. You have to do your part to tear down the fake society that we had no choice but to exist in. So we did some minor acts of vandalism, and after the vandalism Zack said we were going to go to the prom together that year, and not go in or dance, but instead TP everyone's cars and get silly string and graffiti paint cover the school, just to teach everyone a lesson about their stupidity and conformity. As I stood there thinking about what he said, inspecting our work, he then walked off to smoke and be mysterious, and Ava came outside to find me and coaxed me back into the school telling me that I was missing the great performance of a lifetime that I was indeed missing and was indeed the performance of a lifetime.

I watched the tail end of it. And after the performance, I wanted to go out and see Zack again. When he smoked, I could almost feel the smoke in the cold November air as some kind of life force in and of itself. It was intoxicating and addictive. It was ten at night. The air had already become extremely cold during the nights. We found Zack sitting in his father's red pick up truck. He was smoking a cigarette much to my glee, and listening to Behind Blue Eyes by The Who. It was almost over the top, like some satire of a bad boy almost. There probably was more posing in this than I even realized. Years later I learned that during this time in his life, he used to intentionally get his nice clean clothes that his mother launded and take them outside and intentionally put them on the ground and rub them in dirt, just to get that edgy dirty look.  I was such a musical buffoon back then, I honestly asked who was covering this Limp Bizkit song. I didn't know who The Who was, and I thought Limp Bizkit had written the song.

I thought it kind of strange, but Ava had started to talk over me when Zack was around more often and would position herself as close to Zack as possible when she talked. It seemed rather casual, but it felt a little intentional as well. I didn't know enough about interacting with people to know if this was normal, or if there was a mysterious body language element to it. If there was, I didn't want to believe that Ava would be in on that. I didn't want to suspect anything, but there was this little feeling I got when I saw her looking at Zack that I thought was annoying. I wasn't overturned with rage, just some part of me felt a little tickle in the back of my awareness. I would then think about what it implied, and instantly I would feel wrong about it. I would offhandedly ask her if she was into Zack, and she would smoothly and transparently tell me that she wasn't.. And he didn't say the kinds of things he said to me to her though – he didn't think of her as an anticonformist, and I would remind myself of that when I began to feel jealous. I figured that it was just Ava being Ava. She was a hart person to push away. She was all about getting as much attention as humanly possible, and most of us knew that. She would never do anything of course.

When I got home after all of that, as I walked up to the driveway there was a shocking sight. My father was in the car with a woman and was making out with her. I had to sort of process what I had seen. I tried to pretend I hadn't seen it – I have always been weary of watching my parents show acts of passion like these, but I couldn't help but noticing that the woman in question looked an awful lot like Angel. And it was. They didn't even know one another, and now this? I could barely believe it. It didn't make any sense. It was mad. Nothing made any sense, the world was a crazy place. It seemed like everything I had assumed was a certain way was really another, and this was just the beginning of it. I was beginning to wonder at this time, with Zack prodding me along of course, if I really knew the truth behind anything at all. There was no order to the universe from what I could see. I grew up seeing a hierarchical structure, and I was beginning to learn that nobody was in charge. Rules were arbitrary and worked on everyone differently. For all I knew, my parents could hook up again, sounds totally absurd, but who really knows? I wasn't upset, not at all. Quite to the contrary. I rather enjoyed the lack of order the universe was showing me. I just didn't know what to do with it.

The principal took me in sometime that late fall, and explained to me that due to the amount of absences I had accumulated over the year, he was going to have to take away what few credits I had managed to accumulate, if I missed just one more day. And to show just how much I hadn't been paying attention (perhaps nobody had explained to me), I had no idea that there was a credit system or process involved with graduating high school. I never thought I would be graduating anyway. I was decently certain with myself that by the time I reached sixteen or seventeen, I would in a band with my friends, and we wouldn't need to graduate. Samantha would play drums, Ava would sing, Sarah would play bass and I would play the guitar. Why worry about credits or geometry when music and art were so much better? Of course I just knew my friends were all on board with this. It never crossed my mind that when we all talked about this stuff and the band we would be in when we stayed over at each other's houses, no one else really meant any of it. For me, it wasn't an option.

But, given everything else, just to keep my father off my back, I complied with my principal's demands. I didn't really want to lose what little I had earned, and I only had one more month before there was a new semester. So I made sure not to miss one more day. I even went to school with the stomach flu one day – having just stopped throwing up an hour before school started. My stomach queezy and contracting stomach pains, and as much as I brushed my teeth, vomit on my breath. I meandered to school in a state of agony and died a slow death all day long in the various classrooms that I was hauled too one after one, before finally being able to go home. And what do you know, at the end of the semester, he took my credits away anyway. Goes to show I guess.

My dad had taken Allison and David to the fair that fall, and while they had been there, they had seen Jessie (Jodi's daughter). She really missed us, and so my dad said she could come to our house to say hi sometime. Even though she had been a huge pain to me – I actually found that I missed her too. I haven't spoken much about her, but I had a soft spot for her. We had almost been sisters. She came to visit that November. She had grown a lot in that year. She was more of a preteen now, and wasn't as prone to her former behaviors. She was excitable and very happy to see us, and she came to visit me in my room. It was Thanksgiving break, and she was at this age where she wanted to listen to music and start doing things teenagers do. In her mind, I was considered a cool older kid because I was fourteen years old, had a cd collection and went to high school, and naturally I wasn't about to tell her otherwise. I let her have all the cds I owned that I no longer liked. I gave away my beloved Eminem cds. I let her have my first two Linkin Park albums. I gave her my Pink and Avril Lavigne cds. The Nsync given to me by Judy years previous during the Y2K years. I even gave her my burned copies of Simple Plan – which I had grown out of. For whatever reason I still liked Blink 182. So I kept those, She was happy to have all of this music I no longer liked.

My dad eventually drove her back home. And we never saw her again. Jodi married some cowboy and they moved up north. Her name is too common to look up on facebook with any accuracy. She might even be married now, a lot of people younger than me are married and have children. It's strange. And I don't even know how to spell her name. There are too many variables. So I will never know how her life went. I hope she is doing well. I had opened up to her being my sister during the end of my father's botched engagement. And we had been in the process of hashing the sister thing out which was inevitable and would have been a painful process, but it was cut short, and then she had left. I am at least glad that we left on good terms. It was a much better way to say goodbye.

There was this wart on the side of my pointer finger, and I had to get it removed. I definitely wasn't going to be seeing a doctor. My father would never have taken me to the doctor just for that. And it just kept growing. I would cut a piece of it off, and it would just get bigger. I I became paranoid that Zack would see this wart, and then he would reject me, thinking I looked like a witch. The idea was absurd really, but if I thought about it enough in the dark of my cold bedroom, it seemed plausible. I was getting tired of holding one of my fingers against it at all times to prevent it from showing.

There was still no light in my bedroom, but I had a space heater. So one dark cold night in my bedroom, by the light of a small dangerous space heater, with the help of my teeth and a dull kitchen knife, I dug deep into my finger. I didn't know about the nasty little virus-seeds that are in a wart. But I found them anyway, and though it is so gross I barely can stand to think of it, I bit them out, finding them with my tongue. They were sort of crunchy (gross because I can still feel them in my teeth if I think about it). I would use the knife whenever I needed it to move the flesh around. I was set on cutting into the meat of my finger if I had to. There was blood everywhere and a big deep crater of flesh was simply missing from the side of my finger, which burned like crazy but I found ways to ignore it. I bit those suckers out with my teeth as best I could. Eventually, I could feel nothing but the soft tissue underneath my skin of actual meat, not unlike the raw meat at the grocery store. I had dug out a complete hole through my skin. There was blood everywhere, all around my mouth, and I realized that the whole operation had hurt. But it worked. When my finger healed, there was no more wart, and I no longer had to worry about being seen as a haggish witch.

Ava had taken to wearing a top hat. And, she was obsessed with Jack White from The White Stripes. She was so obsessed with Jack White, that she started to look like him just a little bit, with the white skin, and the same wild dark shoulder length hair. She did what she could to still look feminine and resemble him. She did a great job at that. I had considered The White Stripes to be terrible at first. But Ava like them. Sarah liked them. I started feeling that maybe I had been wrong. I also had to admit that I was pretty fond of The Hardest Button to Button, despite really disliking Seven Nation Army.

I guess what bothered me so much about the White Stripes is that, while they have become a household name now, and have sort of played out and been copied a million times over by lesser bands doing car commercials, at the time, there was no popular bands that really compared to them. Garage rock was dead and gone, having died out in the late sixties as many of the counter culture garage rockers either died out, mellowed out or became so drug induced as to either get themselves locked up like Roky Erickson or become totally crazy and discredited like Sky Saxon of The Seeds, or Question Mark from ? And the Mysterians or even Kim Fowley to a lesser extent. Blues of course died by the hands of many white rock bands in the 60's and 70's who had kind of appropriated it and turned into a gag. And there was an element of Modernism to The White Stripes, a sort of golden ratio architexture to their image and their sound that I didn't see in pop music at all. They weren't trying to sell cheap feelings. And at first I didn't like that. There was no acting or sexual innuendo that I would have ordinarily subconsciously gravitated towards. Meg White didn't look like she belonged on the television at all. Neither one of them were necessarily seemed to adhere to what you would classically think of as gender roles (not that they were exactly pioneering anything either). They would stand out if they went into a grocery store, but it didn't feel like they were trying, like you could clearly see with Good Charlotte. There was less an opportunity for the media to market The White Stripes, and so they often talked about them like they were a gimmick, mostly because it didn't sell obvious sex and romance, obvious alcohol driven anger, or your typical break up. There was an emptiness in their music that made me feel uncomfortable. It was a sort of real kind of emptiness that you can feel within, it is loud and clamorous, but isn't trying to be anything, and yet seemed to encompass the world in a much broader way.

So I made my decision to buy a White Stripes album as soon as I had the money. Besides, Zack liked them, so I had to give them a second try.

I should probably take a step back and explain how Sarah was through all of this. So much of this time period for me is defined by Zack, Jason, my father and Ava that it's easy to forget Sarah's silent world that was of but in many ways not obviously apart of the machinery. Sarah seemed a little lost. She wasn't mean anymore – not at all. She was tired all the time, and overdressed. She seemed sort of phased out by Ava's overall personality, and by my love life which were both loud and dominating each in their own unique way. High school was definitely not what she had expected when we had first jumped into it a few years ago, coaching me on how to act coo and all that. Sarah had blossomed into a very pretty young lady with an hourglass figure and long hair, but nobody seemed to notice her somehow. She was always in the silent center to a certain extent, because her house was the go-to house, and she was the one who seemed to do the most listening of all of us. She was my favorite person to talk to still, but there wasn't much in her life that needed discussing.

She mostly sat at home and ate fudgsicles and drank about ten coca colas per day. Her mom complained about the expense of having to buy yet more 24 packs of coke, but she seemed to comply.  Sarah had her own computer and she would sit there and over and over again, draw angel wings, and practice shading all the individual feathers, really drawing excellent bone structures. She really had gotten this grasp of drawing movement. I was never good at making the human body look like it was jumping or flying. I can get the anatomy correct, but it all feels quite like posing in stillness. And she was getting to be really good at art, leaving me behind in a very big way for these long hours, days, weeks months alone sketching.

I on the other hand was too obsessed with Zack, and often times needed to write my feelings out more than draw so my time was not used like hers. And her obsession with the skateboarder Bam Margera had lead her to listening to this band that his brother was in called CKY. And that became her life. She just listened to CKY albums over and over again, an album called I think like, Infiltrate Destroy Rebuild or something. I grew to know all of the CKY albums myself from hundreds of hours of listening. It was never my favorite, but I in time came to be a fan as well. And then Bam was also obsessed with this other band called HIM a Finnish sort of romancy rock band that's hard to explain – sort of reminds me of the beginnings of anime shows with heavy guitars and such. The singer of that band's name was Ville Valo. He was a very pretty man. And Sarah became crazy obsessed with him. She started to look like him. Everything took on a sort of style that was emulated after HIM. Her room was just almost this HIM CKY room, with a small side for Nirvana and CCR. Sarah had joined this online forum on CKY's website. The forum became her world. She read everything talked to everyone. Almost everyone on that forum were the worst sorts of young men, trollish and mean spirited. They mostly just tore everything apart. They remind me of some of the creeps we have on reddit today.  I imagine she was very lonely. Because honestly, nobody really reached out to her at all.

For the final few weeks of FFA for that semester, Mrs. Gulke had us all bring cooked meat to school. It was part of the grade. I thought it was extremely offensive that I was being made to cook meat that I didn't morally think was right to eat. I would have brought chicken, but she assigned me with bacon. She was ready for a fight from me. She sort of raised her voice at me for not eating meat. It really seemed to agitate her. But I didn't give her any problems. I went along and cooked the bacon and took it to class. Nobody ate the cold bacon either. Jason grabbed the bacon at the end of class and put it all in his hoodie pocket and ate it throughout the day.  

My father was loosening up just a little bit towards me. I wouldn't say he was being nice to me, but by Christmas break, I was no longer eternally grounded, more in part to my father's inconsistent short attention span than to anything I had done. He had maybe given up trying to find dope on me. He had mastered the art of being a merciless prick and it was no longer any fun. So he was onto the next thing. My bedroom light was still not working though, and that didn't ever get fixed for the remainder of time I lived in that bedroom. I eventually bought a small inefficient lamp that gave off a blindingly unpleasant dimmness that was almost worse.

I think having spent some time around me, my dad might have felt like he wanted to contribute to my musical taste rather than snuff it out. Perhaps it reminded him of his own youthful days as a young man, buying The Who's 'Happy Jack' single or how he cherished his Disraeli Gears album by Cream, playing his vinyl till it was inevitably scratched beyond hope. I think upon hearing that Sarah and I liked listening to The Beatles and Led Zeppelin made him feel like he and I could connect on some level, and some rare kind of altruism was had towards me.

There was a Rolling Stones magazine at his work, that actually belonged to one of his coworkers, some fundamentalist Christian man with the hairiest arms my father claimed he had ever seen. Being that my father was entitled, and knowing that I was kind of a weird person who adored lists and music decided to take it home for me anyway, essentially stealing from the guy, but it was totally worth it because I read that magazine for several years. It was Rolling Stone's Top 500 albums, or something of that nature. It was one of those special collector's versions.

It also had an article in it that he wanted me to read about a musician that he had liked when was in his late teens by the name of Iggy Pop. I was skeptical because I thought the name Iggy Pop sounded stupid and my dad explained Iggy Pop like it was similar to Kiss which didn't appeal to me really, but I read it anyway. He sounded about 100X cooler than Good Charlotte, even on paper. I still had this notion that older music, with the exception of Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, was no good. But at the same time, I was being sort of persuaded otherwise. Reading through all these albums, I had to admit, made me want to listen to all of them, and actually open my mind up to it a little bit more. I was starting to sort of realize that older music meant just as much to the people who grew up on it as the music I listened to then meant to me now. I could just as easily have been born in another time, and a sixties Renee might have been listening to Pet Sounds. And deep down, I had always liked older music. I just never really did want to admit it to myself.

On one of the last days of school before winter break, Zack came out to me as I was sitting on the bench waiting for him, and he simply and suddenly held my hand and leaned on me and told me he loved me again. I still didn't know how to react. I know this sounds dumb, but there was a legitimate side to this situation that didn't feel right. He didn't ever really explain himself. I didn't understand how he could love me, or in what way or what capacity. Or was this all a joke. If I told him I loved him back would he get freaked out? He also had been someone who had teased me the year before on Melissa's behalf, and then it had turned into this when Melissa had moved up to Moscow. I was afraid to ask questions or to pry into what this all meant. Perhaps I didn't want to find out that the whole thing was a joke. Perhaps I didn't know how to form the thought in a language that would have been direct enough to ask him exactly what he meant, and instead chose to live in this blurry confused sense of blind hope because that was all I seemed to have. Instead I reacted on instinct, which was to run and hope he chased. When to stop running, I had no idea. If I stopped running, I was afraid the game would end. Despite my lack of certainty, I decided not to react this time, and I let him lean on me. My friends were just getting out of lunch, and they all saw. Ava and Sarah had a strange look on their face.

On the last day of that semester, Ava and Sarah kept asking for hugs from Zack. I didn't take this to be much. We all hugged Jason after all. Zack then asked if I could give him a hug. I hesitated and then went for it. I remember being very happy, but I remember little else other than feeling happy, feeling this really strange wonder that this person I was hugging was this living breathing soul that had this profound sense of life, and I was a person too. I know that sounds really naive and silly, but it honestly I still get that feeling when I hug people I love. I was so nervous that the act of hugging itself was as much as I could muster and I was flooded with all kinds of new awareness. He dropped his cd player and headphones, and my friends all said he did it not because of anything awkward. But sort of taken aback from the hug itself.

PART 32 - http://tinyurl.com/ycetanep

PART 31 - http://tinyurl.com/yae3o4rd

PART 30 - http://tinyurl.com/ybht9aul

PART 29 - http://tinyurl.com/ybfcr9j2

PART 28 - http://tinyurl.com/yagdlo47

PART 27 - http://tinyurl.com/ydcj5fgf

PART 26 - http://tinyurl.com/y73nvl73

PART 25 -  http://tinyurl.com/y6v6pgoj

PART 24 - http://tinyurl.com/ycak5d8r

PART 23 - http://tinyurl.com/yac6sk3g

PART 22 -  http://tinyurl.com/yat6cfnw

PART 21 -  http://tinyurl.com/y783egno

PART 20 - http://tinyurl.com/y8jskymt

PART 19 - http://tinyurl.com/rfhbms8

PART 18 - http://tinyurl.com/ycrznrwk

PART 17 - http://tinyurl.com/y77unlng

PART 16 - http://tinyurl.com/yadpsv8c

PART 15 - http://tinyurl.com/yb3lt6k5

PART 14 - http://tinyurl.com/yb4cfedq

PART 13 - http://tinyurl.com/yalanq9s

PART 12 - http://tinyurl.com/yc79mw94

PART 11 - http://tinyurl.com/yc9qhj84

PART 10 - http://tinyurl.com/yb734w24

PART 9 - http://tinyurl.com/yc2t6vfw  

PART 8 - http://tinyurl.com/ybl37utq

PART 7 - http://tinyurl.com/ybvo283g

PART 6 - http://tinyurl.com/kbc9dwu

PART 5 - http://tinyurl.com/msnz4am

PART 4 - http://tinyurl.com/k9x8esg

PART 3 - http://tinyurl.com/mwp9atx

PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

#text

[loseitall-ff]

11. Part 2

I thought before I took my baby girl back home I would take her on a date, just me, her and the chicken she is loving right now. I know it’s early but then again it is never too early to have some chicken “be careful baby, that is for big people” reaching over and taking the knife from her “I do it” placing it at the side of my plate “just try using the fork” actually scratch that, if she hurt herself. Taking it from her “sorry, I don’t trust you. You want me to break the chicken up for you?” Liana shook her head “stop trying to be an independent woman at the age of three” my daughter is forever doing the most, or tries to be independent. Sipping my drink while looking around my environment, this iHop is actually quiet which is a blessing “so Liana, I need to ask you something. Daddy is kind of going on a date, I can’t tell you who but you think daddy should look smart or hood? Like have my gold teeth in, this girl I am going with won’t be bothered because look at me, I am handsome as fuck” laughing to myself “what you think Liana, smart or hood?” Liana shrugged “teeth” she pointed at her teeth “so hood then?” Liana nodded “gold grills, I got you. Thank you pretty lady, I enjoyed this date but I feel you are drifting off away from me. I feel like we are growing distant, I am just really sick of baby coming between, she been really mean to me Liana even at the tea party” Liana chewed her chicken frowning at me “you pushed daddy, she get sad” poking my lips out all sad “so you love baby more than me? It’s fine Liana, nobody loves me” I want attention from my daughter “oh no” she said, slipping out of her seat across me and making her way around “love you daddy!” she blew me a kiss, I couldn’t help but smile “aww shucks, baby” picking her up “I love you more, I love you so much” hugging Liana close.

Liana takes so long at eating, I can’t rush her either. Staring down at my phone while picking the chicken out of my teeth, since being locked away with Robyn I stayed away from my phone and any social media. I was just entertained with both Mel and Robyn, they were awesome together. Scrolling my Instagram timeline, I really need to unfollow theses females and Ava actually, she needs to stop with these quotes and old ass pictures of her in my home. She is making people think I am in the home with her, when clearly it is all bullshit. Shaking my head scrolling passed her pictures and then stopped at an old BallerAlert post ‘Chris Brown a daddy again?’ in the picture headline with a picture of me with pregnancy tests in hand “fuck” I spat, why can’t shit go smoothly for me. Reading the caption, and they legit tagged Ava in this like why do that, why assume shit. I am about to shut this shit down, pressing the comment tab to leave a comment ‘Lol y’all funny, every nigga in these comments hating can suck my left nut. Y’all still bitter I got a baby with Rihanna? Y’all about to be real angry soon and just to clarify there is no baby, Ava is not pregnant as she wishes to be so badly and any picture she is taking is old. She is not in my home, if anybody else wants spread rumours then just know my lawyer is coming for y’all. Chris Brown ain’t playing this year! #FuckYall’ all these rumours spreading about me and I didn’t even know.

Looking to the side of me, Liana is just staring out of the window in my Lamborghini while the wind hit her face. Smiling to herself closing her eyes, I love her too much. The only lady I want in the front seat with me is either Robyn or Liana, I couldn’t be happier like this. It has showed me that they need me more than I thought “you have to give momma lots of hugs and kisses ok? She missed you” Liana giggled looking away “I give mommy kiss” she repeated, I nodded “yes, she missed you” stopping outside Robyn’ gate, I hope either Mel or Robyn come to the door because I do not wish to see her family. Pressing the intercom “you have a good time with Grandma? Did Auntie and Desean make it even better” I asked “yes! Gamma gave me lots candy” of course my mom did, not like she needs it with her hyper self “good, I just want you happy” the gate opened up slowly “you happy to be home now?” slowly driving “miss mommy” she clapped, I thought she was, when I saw Liana after being with Robyn she was asking for mommy.

Licking my lips seeing Majesty run outside with Mel behind her, where is Robyn and why is she hiding. Pulling a face but Robyn soon walked out, my frown soon changed into a smile. Walking around my car, pulling up the door “mommy, mommy. I see mommy” Liana pointed, she is dying to get out of her car seat “calm down” leaning into the car to unbuckle her out, I hate car seats, they are so fiddley to do. Finally releasing Liana out, picking her out of the car seat “mommy!!” Placing Liana on the ground, Liana ran off without a care in the world. Leaning inside the car to grab Liana’ bag and then closing the car door, seeing Robyn on her knees as Liana finally made it to her and they embraced each other. Smiling wide at them both just holding each other, look at them both. Walking slowly towards them “I have missed you so much” Robyn is crying already, Mel took the bag from me “Liana is here” hearing Monica say stepping out, this is my cue to leave. It warms my heart to see both Liana and Robyn like this, still holding each other “look at you, my beautiful baby” Robyn moved back from Liana “mommy cry” Liana gasped looking back at me. Biting my bottom lip not saying a word “I have missed you that is all” Robyn spoke, Liana wiped Robyn’ tears smiling “mommy silly, I am just so blessed to have you. Sorry you have been away from me for so long” Liana ignored Robyn and kissed her, Liana listens to me.

The whole Barbadian team are here, I need to leave. Monica looked at me but I just looked away, I am not really bothered and don’t care for her “you are lucky that Robz is nice enough for you to have Liana for that long even if it wasn’t in your home” Monica has a voice, she is straight up rude as fuck too but I won’t be so rude back “I did thank you for asking” I wish I could just cuss her out, but I need to be good “I’m out Mel, see y’all later?” I whispered “oh yeah, she told me. I will be there, of course. I wouldn’t say no to a free night out” she winked “I’m paying?” pointing at myself confused “you best be paying” Mel said laughing, I chuckled “joking, see you soon” walking backwards and then turning around “Chris!” hearing Robyn shout my name, turning around to see Robyn walking towards me “what’s up?” trying to supress my smile just because I can feel their eyes on me “honestly, if you wear that I am sending you home. Be yourself” I said lowly “I won’t wear this, don’t worry. But do you want me to meet you at your home or pick me up?” she asked, that is a good question “maybe it will be easier if you get Rich to drop you off” I don’t want to see her family or see their glares “ok” Robyn said smiling like a naughty school girl, she is so cute “you better go back to mommy now” clearing my throat saying, Robyn is too cute.

To have my daughter home with me is so overwhelming, for her to be just with me, to help me get dressed “I have made a mess in my closet now, I don’t know what to wear” I swear I have looked and said no to nearly all my dresses, I just really don’t want to be showing my body off, I look awful like my mom said to me. I just don’t care for the public but I care for what Chris thinks of me so I need to look good for him, maybe I am being stupid “am I stupid Liana?” I questioned while watching her put her feet in my Loubs “no” she said “baby, this is not safe. Don’t do it” Liana shuffled a little smiling “I’m mommy!!” she beamed, my heart ached a little “you’re better than me” this is why I could never, I could never ever admit that I got raped. Just because of this, my daughter, I wouldn’t want her to read that. I wouldn’t even want her to be like me because I am just trash, used and unloved. I guess I better use every opportunity I get with Chris until he gets his own woman. Cassandra is so good, she rings me every day, she makes me feel good about myself and I enjoy it, I don’t know where Chris found her but I thank him for it “got you” I caught Liana before she fell face first “silly baby” giggling with her in my arms.

“Mommy, lips” Liana ran to me with my lipstick in hand, picking the lipstick from her hand “oohh, red? Nice choice baby” that is my daughter, she knows me “so you finally went with the choice I gave you, it’s perfect and good enough. You’re showing your legs off” Mel said, smiling into the mirror looking at Mel “you think it is too much?” I said, Mel gawked at me “too much? Bitch I wish you wore less” turning around smiling, looking down at my monochrome bodycon dress, my legs are on show which is good enough for me “it shows your figure off just fine, ok you have lost weight but your ass is there still. The red lipstick will finish off the look. I know you are nervous but we got you” taking in a deep breath, I should be ok, I got people I trust around me.

I didn’t tell my mom, I just got ready “do I look nice Liana?” twirling around, Liana twirled around with me giggling “I like mommy” that is all I need, my daughter’ approval because who cares for the rest of the world “we look good, can we take a selfie please?” Mel said, I mean I need to get on with it and get on with my life “fine” walking behind Mel as she pointed the camera towards us both “look at my best friend, she is beautiful as fuck” Mel said before taking the picture of us both, I chuckled “stop it, you look bad as fuck too” pulling the bodycon dress down a little “come Liana, Auntie Noella and Nana is looking after you” Liana took my hand, I have a new found boost of confidence and I don’t know where it came from.

Walking into the living area “I am going out, don’t wait up for me” I announced, my brother’s both looked at me all confused “what?” Rorrey spat “going out, are you all ok to look after my baby?” Noella nodded “you go girl” she said “you look beautiful” my mom beamed, she is complimenting me “I can look good when I want too, but thank you” crouching down “you be good now baby, see you in the morning” pressing a kiss to her cheek and then wiping the lipstick off “daddy, teeth. He look nice” squinting my eyes at her “what?” I said “daddy say he look nice” how did she even speak to him, what “you spoke to him?” she shook her head “we eat chicken and daddy ask he go date and he say he look nice” a small smile played on my face, I get it now, he must have been speaking to her about this, he called it a date.

This is going to be so weird, going out all dressed up like this. This is going out of my comfort zone and I told Cassandra and she said for me to take this first step, I am in safe hands “don’t be so nervous” Mel placed her hand on my leg “can’t help it, this is so hard and different for me. I should be use to this, ignore me Mel” I will get over it “does Chris want me to stay around or is he driving you around?” Rich asked “uhmm please stay with us, we can always do with extra security” seeing Chris’ home, well what was our home. This kind of brings back horrible memories, I wish he just said that he would pick me up but I guess not. I need to suck it up.

Combing my hair down, I have shaven my hair off. Low fade all around, I may grow it out again because I regret shaving it all off now, but I kept the stubble. I hope I look good though “nigga, they here!!” Mijo screamed out from downstairs, she is here. Feeling my pockets, I have got my cards and keys, which is all I need with me. Placing my gold chain around my neck, I didn’t put the gold grills on because I don’t think it looks as good with the outfit either. Putting my Rolex watch on, and the diamond ring Robyn bought me when we was together. Looking at myself in the long mirror, I always do look good in anything I wear but I want to look extra good for Robyn. Looking down at my Vans, black skinny jeans, a simple white tee and a Givenchy blue collared jacket. Should be just right, I want to look good and not hood unlike what my daughter wants me to dress like.

Licking my lips jogging down the stairs “wow, bathing in cologne alert” Lo said, they got jokes these boys “shut up” my eyes widened seeing Robyn wearing a tight dress, looking down at her legs “wow” is the only thing I said, she played with her hands all nervous “you look good, it’s not a bad thing” I smiled saying “what is this? Prom night?” Mijo said, he had to ruin things “prom night” Mel busted out laughing “ha ha very funny, you know what. I hate y’all” forever embarrassing me all the damn time “so y’all coming with us yeah?” pointing at Lo, Mijo, Keeis and Robb, they all nodded “yeah, of course” Keeis smiled, his ass is high as shit so I don’t think he knows where we going “cool, let’s go. Robyn you can come with me, if you like?” I need to give her a choice, I am stood here demanding shit “yeah” she said in a whisper “Rich has the SUV, maybe the rest can go in there?” Robyn said “yeah cool, but Big D and Clay need somewhere so they can take the Range, split up and see you all at Giorgio Baldi” I am not stupid, I know where to take Robyn.

Driving with Robyn in the front seat, I love this “I had my first princess sitting here in the morning, now I got the second princess” I said smiling at the road “second? Wow” Robyn said, looking to the side of me “well Liana wouldn’t be happy to be second” stopping at the red light “where your teeth? Liana kept talking about daddy look good and teeth” busting out laughing “look at her snitching ass, but I was asking Liana what I should wear and she said wear grills, I decided not to. Do I look good though? See how I compliment you” seeing the light go green “you look handsome, why did you shave your hair? I liked it grown out” see I knew she would have said that “I thought you know, maybe a change. You know my hair will grow out again so we good” I kind of liked it grown out also, I am so stupid.

Parking outside the restaurant, I guess we must have got here quicker than I thought “Robyn, I want to talk to you though” switching the car engine off, rubbing my hands against my jeans “I just want you to know that I am not fucking around, yes I am here for you for what happened but I am speaking about us, me and you. I honestly want to take back what happened between us, I wish I wasn’t stupid but I am. I want to take things slow, what I am trying to say is that I am not fucking on you. I know you said the other day about me going back to my normal life but I haven’t. I have not had sex in weeks, I am just hoping to rebuild us” Robyn is staring at my face, like she is searching for answers or looking for a lie but I am not “we been waiting!” Mel half shouted lifting the car door open, I jumped a little “damn!” holding my chest, scaring me half to death.

I am annoyed I didn’t get to hear what Robyn had to say and now I am stuck sitting in-between Big D and Clay, why is my life like this. And now Robyn and Mel are laughing at me. I don’t know how I ended up sitting between these two “Chris looks like a mix of Big D and Clay, I see it” Mijo pointed laughing, placing my fork down in annoyance “I wish I never invited anyone now, annoying ass fucks” Robyn stood up with the biggest smile on her face, I mean she is happy here so I should be happy but I’m not “can I sit here?” Robyn asked Big D, he got up quickly “Chris is having a tantrum, now Robyn has to calm his ass down” I regret bringing my friends, they are really embarrassing me now “its ok, Chris will not be sad anymore” Robyn patted my leg, I feel like a child now.

Robyn seems really quiet now, I don’t know what about though. Is it what I said or the fact we going to the club “Robyn, we don’t need to go to the club if you’re not ready? I know it is a lot for you” I think I have pushed her enough today “no, it’s fine. I got you, just stay close to me please” she knows I got her, I drove the long way around to Playhouse, just because I wanted the bodyguards there first. I have strict rules for them, they are looking after Robyn and not me. I have not told her that in case she starts telling me off. Pulling up outside playhouse, the valet guy came running over opening my side of the door. Big D was already helping Robyn out, watching Robyn get out of the car before I did. Passing my key to the Valet guy, people are staring at us, they stopped letting people enter for us to come in. Waiting for Robyn to walk over to me, smiling at her lightly. Robyn grabbed onto my hand with both of her hands, took me by surprise but I went with it.

Walking behind Mijo as we walked inside, Robyn held my hand so tightly “we have to walk through the crowd” Rich came out of nowhere to tell us, I stopped walking. Looking behind me at Robyn “you sure you want to do this? There will be a tight squeeze to get to the VIP?” I am scared for her, I don’t want her to cry “I will be ok, just don’t let my hand go” seeing the security for the club stare at us for us to go in “ok uhm, Rich you walk at the side of Robyn and Clay walk ahead of me and Big D just be in the back, but try your best, stay together” looking ahead of me seeing the boys waiting, I done told them to make sure everything good for us. The music got louder as we got inside, I took in a deep breath. As we got into the crowd I felt like everything was on top of me, luckily the walk there is not far. Seeing Mel looking on all concerned, she got there quickly. Clay climbed up to VIP, climbing up just behind him. Pulling Robyn up along, she missed her step on the big step but I caught her and dragged her up, that was a close call.

VIP is good when it wants to be, just getting here is crazy. Bopping my head along looking below us, waving at the females that waved at me and took pictures “is Rihanna ok?” Mijo said in my ear, looking behind me to check on Robyn “yeah!” nodding my head “then why does she look like her confidence is low as fuck” he said in my ear, looking at Mijo not saying a word. I don’t want that for Robyn, because if he sees it then the rest will “she fine” looking away from him, I don’t like anyone speaking on Robyn in any other way, I will get her ass up from that couch.

Robyn kept on shaking her head as I pulled her along by her hand, she doesn’t want to move from the couch but I will get her up. Her eyes pleading with me to stop “we have got a special request, anonymous is the only thing I can say but if you got that special someone hold them close and tell them this!” the DJ shouted, smiling wide watching Robyn’ face. She doesn’t even realize and I love it, Never Too Much started playing. Robyn stepped back gasping in shock, hand over her mouth. She shuffled into me with her hand over her mouth, moving her hand away and playfully hitting my chest “oh my god!! Chris!” She spat “oh my!” she cooed, her mouth still hung open in shock looking around. Robyn’ hands on my chest as she looked around, placing my hands just on the crook of her back just above her butt. Holding Robyn close smiling “oh my god Chris” she said again.

Placing my head just next Robyn’ ear just so she can hear me “I can’t fool myself, I don’t want nobody else to ever love me. You are my shining star, my guiding light, my love fantasy. There’s not a minute, hour, day or night that I don’t love you. You’re at the top of my list cause I’m always thinking of you.” Moving my head back still singing “I still remember in the days when I scared to touch you. How I spent my day dreaming planning how to say I love you. You must have known that I had feelings deep enough to swim in. That’s when you opened up your heart and you told me to come in” pointing at my heart “oh my love, a thousand kisses from you is never too much” leaning my head down, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Feeling Robyn wrap her arms around my neck.

Holding Robyn close, as we swayed together “I’d rather be with you cause you make my heart scream and holler. Love is a gamble and I’m so glad that I’m winning. We’ve come a long way and yet this is only the beginning” I sang into her ear, Robyn squeezed her arms around my neck even more “I love you” I heard her say, moving my head back. The smile on Robyn’ face “you remembered though, I am so embarrassed” she placed her hand over her mouth, looking to the side of me. The boys just stared at me in shock, I chuckled “and y’all are friends?” Keeis shouted, I nodded. I guess this will give something for people to talk about, I had a good time.

I can’t stop smiling, closing Robyn’ side of door “y’all go home, see you there later” dapping the boys smiling “Chris, are you and Rihanna dating!?” The paparazzi would have eventually clocked us “you telling me friends can’t hang out?” I said, walking off seeing Mel “you getting in the SUV?” I pointed, she nodded “don’t be too loud with that car” Mel said walking off, she knows damn well those neighbours can always hear me coming. Waving at the fans opening the door, getting inside the car.

Sucks that the night has come to an end, I have enjoyed myself even though the meal sucked. I am happy to know my friends were good with Robyn and Mel, they all had a good time “thank you so much Chris, I honestly want to thank you for making me happy. I have had such a good night and thank you for singing that to me. I want you to stay with me” my head snapped in Robyn’ direction “what?” I spat, I am thinking with my dick but I know she is wanting some hugs in bed not sex “can you stay with me?” she said lowly “in your room? At your home with your family” I said in a state of shock “yeah, stop being a pussy” she hit my arm laughing, my eyes widened “look at you, calling me a pussy but ok. I don’t mind” I don’t’ mind spending time with Robyn at all.

Sitting in the car waiting for Mel to let us know what Barbadian Army are up too then we can go, I hope I don’t get caught but Robyn doesn’t care, she wants me with her and I don’t mind it. Seeing Robyn’ phone ringing in her lap, she picked it up and I just looked away. I am honestly going crazy though, I love having sex and now there is no sex and I just need some pussy in my life, I even got excited when Robyn invited me back “ok I will, goodnight” Robyn said, looking over at her “she said they are all asleep but do not drive with this car in case someone is awake in the house in their bedroom” nodded my head licking my lips “cool, we will walk. It’s only a block away, I will leave my car here” grabbing my keys from the side “are you sure?” opening the car door “yeah, I don’t mind it. Nice little walk together” its midnight so nobody should really see us.

With my hands in my pockets, walking side by side with Robyn. I didn’t think it was a long walk but it is, we are so quiet though and I don’t know why “you’re quiet” Robyn said breaking the silence “me? I thought you’re being quiet with me” Robyn smiled shaking her head “I just thought you was in your own thoughts, leave you to it” Robyn pulled her dress down again “you cold?” taking my jacket off “no, don’t. Its ok” taking my jacket off anyways, holding the jacket open for her “come on babe, you can’t be cold now” Robyn sighed placing her arms in the sleeves “you don’t have too” wrapping the jacket around her “now you’re cold” I shrugged “come” walking backwards, holding my hand out, Robyn took my hand.

Holding each other’s hands, our fingers intertwined. Robyn placed her head against my arm “so you have really stopped having sex?” Robyn finally asked, I wanted to bring this subject back up “yeah, I swear on our daughter’ life” Robyn remained silent, she thinks I am lying “you stopped having sex for me?” looking down at Robyn “yeah, I want to save myself for you. I don’t know if you are going to have me back but I wanted to try, I want to be here for you both. I am stupid and I am sorry for that but I just wanted to try again, like take it slow. Like we are now, ok I am talking too much” I am saying so much right now “I didn’t expect this, you stopped having sex totally? I don’t think that is capable of you” she moved her head away from my arm “I didn’t think it either but I realized how stupid I am, I love you Robyn and my happiness is with you and Liana. I want to make things better for us, I am not playing with you at all. I will wait for you, this is on you. I am not interested in any other bitch, I am waiting for you Robyn. We can keep this pace, keep it like this” Robyn’ eyes met mine “I like this pace, secret from the world. Keep them guessing, I think keeping it secret will make us stable and also see how we can be, if you do this then it has to be one hundred percent” smiling lightly “you mean that?” I said, Robyn nodded “I do, I can only trust the man I love. That is you, we will just see how it goes but I don’t see why you would want me” she always lowers the tone “why wouldn’t I? Don’t say what I think you will say, I don’t care alright? If there is any man that will adore you then that will be me, just stop thinking like that” Robyn wrapped her free arm around my arm.

#Chris Brown #Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Rihanna #Fanfiction

[mrmichaelchadler]

"An Event...": On 1974's "Earthquake"

A recent viewing of all my old 1970s disaster movie DVDs has led me to conclude that Mark Robson’s "Earthquake" (1974) is a film worth discussing, even if it is clearly far from the best of its genre. The movie was a critical disappointment when it came out and Leonard Maltin’s Guide went as far as to assign a “Bomb” rating. Still, there are too many cinematic lessons to be learned from a movie like “Earthquake” to ignore.

“Earthquake” was made by producer Jennings Lang, the man behind the “Airport” movies. It is mostly remembered for having been released with the Academy Award-winning, ground breaking, Sensurround system which basically consisted of placing a gigantic subwoofer in theaters, causing all sorts of havoc such as falling chunks of plaster, nose bleeds in audience members and unwelcome trembling in adjoining theaters at multiplexes. All for a process that was to be used in only three later movies (“Midway,” “Rollercoaster” and “Battlestar Galactica”). Come to think of it, a few weeks ago I dozed off while watching the new “Jumanji” movie at a theatre and was rudely woken up by the noise from the theater next door which was showing a movie in 4D; for a moment I truly thought we were going through a real earthquake. Thus, I think it’s safe to say that 4D has been the closest I’ve come to re-experiencing Sensurround.   

“Earthquake” was mostly structured like an average disaster film of the 1970s. Several interlocking characters are introduced early and, unlike the recent entries of the genre such as “San Andreas” (2015) and those by Roland Emmerich, their attitude towards the catastrophe in hand was dead serious, leaving very little room for humor. Our film deals with the world class engineer Stuart Graff (Charlton Heston), whose marriage to Remy (Ava Gardner) is clearly on the outs, so much that it is impossible to imagine they could have ever been even remotely happy together. Remy is the daughter of Stuart’s boss Royce played by "Bonanza" patriarch Lorne Greene. With just a few hours before catastrophe strikes, Stuart starts dating widowed Denise (played by Genevieve Bujold). These are the basic dynamics of a cinematic love triangle that makes the one in Michael Bay’s “Pearl Harbor” (2001) feel like the one in Michael Curtiz’s “Casablanca” by comparison. 

I don’t believe the general outline of “Earthquake” is by any means terrible, even if it's not particularly original for an entry that debuted right in the middle of the 1970s disaster movie craze, which itself is like a shorter-lived version of today’s comic book epidemic. The characters are first introduced, followed by a small tremor detonates the usual warnings that go unanswered and the big earthquake destroys the city in spectacular fashion. The Heston/George Kennedy duo then proceeds to rescue several extras in heroic fashion, while the bursting of a dam provides the opportunity for a spectacular watery escape, reminiscent of the one in “The Poseidon Adventure” (1972) and even that in 1978’s “Superman” (also penned by screenwriter Mario Puzo). All that’s missing from the typical entry of this genre are the usual warnings against greed as the source of Man’s doom and a character spontaneously bursting into song. I suppose the filmmakers just couldn’t find the right spot.

On the plus side, the movie has some terrific special effects, especially those involving the progressive destruction of Los Angeles in miniature (as seen from Royce’s office) as well as some falling vehicles from a collapsing freeway (here’s a hint: if you are driving during an earthquake, it may not be a bad idea to hit the brakes!). These types of effects have more weight and end up being more convincing than most of those made with CGI these days. The film's technicians came up with some of the most incredibly looking models, on par with those from the ship in “The Poseidon Adventure” and the skyscraper from “The Towering Inferno.” 

The first of “Earthquake’s” main faults is that it also happens to include some really shabby manual effects, particularly those that involve real sized elements. If there is one thing I’ve never seen in a real earthquake it's flying columns, beams and signs falling in the middle of the street. By relying so heavily on the Sensurround system during “The Event,” in many instances the filmmakers forgot to include the necessary sound effects to go along with their collapse or their rupture, making it hard to avoid the fact they are mostly made out of Styrofoam. There’s also the hilarious shot of the woman with shards of glass stuck in her face, even before a glass pane falls on her head. “Earthquake” includes some other laughable sequences such as the one involving a cook falling alongside a stove at the precise moment when a giant boiling pot falls and empties all of its contents on top him (that image looks just like something out of the “World’s Dumbest Videos” TV show). Even worse is the visual of guy looking for gas leaks with a cigarette in his mouth. Smokers have routinely been treated rather harshly in movies (think of the man who loses his arm to a shark in “Deep Blue Sea”) but even as a warning on how not to encounter this type of situation, the image here is beyond stupid.

The film’s second mistake was including too many scenes and characters that just don’t belong. Did a disaster movie really need a sequence involving a motorcycle stunt show or a car chase that includes the requisite baby carriage and Zsa Zsa Gabor’s prized gardens? Did it really need a bar fight with drunks smashing into racks full of pool sticks? And what exactly could have been the point of filling any disaster entry with such an assortment of bizarre characters like the Marjoe Gortner sex deviate who looks as if he came right out of the “Pulp Fiction” sadomasochist basement? Also hard to explain are the presence of Gortner & Ava Gardner’s strange wigs and Gortner & Victoria Principal’s matching perms. I suppose it's no mystery that anything and everything from the 1970s has dated horribly (think of Charton Heston’s “portable” car phone and his ever-moving toupee) but these examples seem to have been done fully on purpose. Then there’s Walter Matthau's prolonged drunken cameo, which seems to rely on the old “funny by repetition” trick. In other words, he just gets more annoying by the minute.

A special mention in the film’s main problems has to go to the Ava Gardner & Charlton Heston relationship. It’s safe to say that screenwriter Mario Puzo has done a better job writing about human relations in his other films. The problem is not so much that Gardner’s screen father is only seven years older than her, (after all, Sean Connery was only 12 years older than his Harrison Ford son in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”) but there’s something intrinsically odd about Gardner calling Lorne Greene “Daddy” that makes it impossible not to snicker. She plays her part as if she had seen Elizabeth Taylor in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” a few too many times and remains insufferable from start to finish. At the end of the day, basing the film’s emotional closure on the sacrificing of Charlton Heston’s life for someone so utterly unpleasant made for the film’s biggest weakness. I’m aware of how a similar approach with the Gene Hackman character brought weight to “The Poseidon Adventure’” conclusion but perhaps director Robson could have included a flashback of happier times or at least provide any hint whatsoever of why Heston should have ever sacrificed certain happiness, at least two sides of this film’s love triangle.

Most of the shortcomings mentioned here derive from a lack of conviction and the love of the game that could always be felt in the works of Irwin Allen, even though he eventually simply ran out of worthy stories of catastrophe. Instead of going for broke by casting a smashing duo the likes of Steve McQueen and Paul Newman in “The Towering Inferno” Jennings Lang settled with the very ordinary Heston /Kennedy duo from “Airport 1975” (all that’s missing here is the usual “Airport” tagline “… and George Kennedy as Patroni”!). The simple comparison of the posters from these two movies speaks volumes about their respective ambitions. Both share the same type of disaster artwork as well as images of their characters boxed in the small squares both while “The Towering Inferno” includes them in all sorts of emotional expressions and tags them with the grandiose likes of “The Fire Chief!, The Architect!, the Builder! (and the female leads with the more modest The Girlfriend! the Wife! The Widow!”) All we get in “Earthquake” are the expressions of a group of actors yet again going through the motions.

“Earthquake” was originally promoted using the ambitious slogan “An Event... ”; needless to say it didn’t fully live up to that hype. Oddly enough, attending “Earthquake” as a sixth grader when it opened here in Mexico on a Wednesday in 1975 was one of those rare times where I couldn’t get in the theater during my first couple of tries, as scalpers managed to grab all the tickets for the opening day shows. But while I suppose the film was never really worth such an effort, I have to admit I still can’t help but smile at such moments as when Genevieve Bujold’s holds to a tree for dear life while her beer & chicken-eating neighbor slides down a cliff, followed by all of his possessions (and his still-supported home!), or even at the very amateurish way director Robson conveys the carnage after some elevator passengers fall to their doom, by splattering drops of fake blood on the camera lens. After all these years it’s hard for me to say if “Earthquake” is either a guilty pleasure or a movie so bad that it’s good. Perhaps the line between both attributes is too thin, or maybe they are one and the same.

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