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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 3 years

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Protective Dad already

SUMMARY: Dude dude I just saw a post about Sarah and mitch's new baby and Imagine y/n being pregnant too with a little girl and Sarah with a boy and they keep saying that maybe they can be together when they are old enough and Harry being the overprotective dad he is and whine and making tantrums bc that's his little princess and no boy except his dad (and mom) deserves her love more and he's crying and hugging y/n belly begging the baby to just love him and only him - 🦁

GENRE: fluff, angst too

Word count: 900+

WARNING: protective harry, pregnant reader, Sarah being pregnant as well... Are these even something to be scared of?

PAIRING: Harry Styles x reader

Thank you @harrywritingsbyme for letting me write this concept

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission

28 weeks along, you were one week behind Sarah in your pregnancy. It of course wasn't planned for you and Sarah to get pregnant at the same time, but it happened. You both were excited and knew your bubs would be the best of friends like you Sarah, harry, and Mitch.

It was now known that you were having a little girl while Sarah was having a little boy. The both of you had an inside joke that maybe your kids would grow up and fall in love with each other.

Harry had no idea before that you both had that inside joke before he overhead you both talking about it.

You and Sarah sat on the couch talking about baby things of course. You were both debating on what name to call your kids.

"I want to call her Amelia but Harry wants to go with willow." You said. Sarah nodded, "yeah me and Mitch were going to call him Arlo. It fits and we both agree on it."

"It must be so nice when you agree." You laughed, stroking your growing bump.

"You know, maybe if you go with Amelia they would both match Because Amelia and Arlo both start with an A."

A smile creeped up on your face. "That'll be amazing. They would both brag about having the same letter in their first name. I can see it now." You laughed to yourself thinking about it.

"Not to go too far but what if they grow up and have kid-,"

"Woah woah woah."

You and Sarah turned around at the sudden interruption. Harry stood in the doorway with two cups of what seemed to be lemonade. He was frowning telling you he had heard your conversation.

"What the hell do you mean if they grow up and have kids?" Harry walked around the couch, sitting the cups on the couch before placing his hands on his hips in a sassy stance.

You looked back at Sarah with a grin. She laughed, grabbing the lemonade, drinking it.

"So Harry, me and Sarah were thinking maybe our kids would end up falling in love with each other because you know they'll be friends just like us."

Even before you were finished talking Harry was shaking his head. He hated the thought of his baby girl growing up, and falling in love with someone crushed him even more. He didn't want that at all.

"No, no our little girl will not date anyone. She will stay little forever." Harry kneeled down to your bump, he pressed his head up against it. "Hey little one don't fall in love with anyone. I want you to be little forever, please don't grow up for daddy."

Harry let a tear escape his eye which you caught. You instantly grew guilty. You didn't know it would hurt him this much. "Harry honey, I'm sorry. We were just joking." You mumbled taking his chin in your hand.

Harry sniffed. "I'm sorry. I just um… I need some time to think." Harry quickly got up and walked outside.

You looked back at Sarah, your mouth open in disbelief. You didn't expect him to be upset as he was.

"I'm going to go check on him." You said as you got up. Sarah nodded understanding you.

You walked outside to the patio where Harry was. He was staring out into the distance. You slowly walked up to him, not wanting to disturb him but still wanted to know if he was okay. "Harry, are you okay?"

Harry turned to you, "yeah, I'm alright."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Harry sighed. "It just hit me right then and there I'm going to a Papa. I'm going to have a little girl that I have to protect and watch grow up."

You walked up to him continuing to listen to him.

"She's going to fall in love and' I'm going to hate it, but it will happen." Harry ran his hand over his face, letting out an ugh. "It just sucks."

You exhaled softly reaching out for Harry's hand. "I know honey, I know it's going to be hard. I'm scared just like you are. I don't want to watch her and any other kids of ours grow up and fall in love and eventually get married. But it's going to happen and we can't do anything about it. We just need to enjoy the time we have with them while they're little beans."

Harry smiled at your little beans comment warming your heart. "Sarah and I were just joking. We don't want them together, we just want them to be best friends just like all 4 of us are. It's nothing more."

Harry pressed his lips into a the line. "Yeah, okay." Harry exhaled, squeezing your hand lightly. "I'm sorry." You smiled at him softly. "It's okay harry. I'm not upset. Now how about we go back inside and enjoy our day okay."

Harry nodded, "alright."

Harry followed you back inside to where Sarah and Mitch were waiting. "Is everything ok?" Sarah asked. Harry breathed out a yes before sitting on the couch beside you.

"I was just having a hissy fit." Sarah and Mitch laughed. "Yeah, sounds like Sarah." Mitch commented.

Sarah's mouth fell open. She slapped his chest with a frown. "Shut up, no it doesn't." You all laughed and continued on with your talk.

Who knows maybe your kids would have something in the future but now you all were going to stick with them being friends and let them figure out what they wanted when they are adults some day.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #dsd! harry styles #harry styles writing

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oddsnendsfanfics · 3 years

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Love, Uncle Sy

Genre: Fan Fiction (Sand Castle) Pairing: N/A Warnings: It’s so fluffy! Rating: G Length: Drabble Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.

A/N: I had fun with Sy and Willow, making Christmas cookies, so I brought them back for some adorable birthday fluff.

Henry Cavill Master List

Saturday morning, sun barely above the horizon and Sy was wide awake. As usual, his morning began in the kitchen, a pot of coffee perfuming the room while accompanied by the humid scent of dishwasher and frying bacon. He'd woke this morning, tossing and turning, a cold sweat cresting his brow. Nothing a shower and a soothing meditation tape wouldn't temporarily fix. Had he not been woke by the nightmares, Sy would have planned to sleep in – or his version of sleeping in, at least.

Waking from a nightmare on your birthday, should be criminal. Never the less, he had work to do once breakfast was over. In a few hours, he had to pack his truck with a few party favours and drive over to the local horse farm where his niece took lessons every Saturday morning. While Sy was turning older than he cared to remember, today was his niece's seventh birthday.

The grizzled Army vet loved all of his nieces and nephews, but Willow was certainly his favourite. She was his mini-me. His tiny partner in crime. His shadow, and the light of his life. From the moment Sy had held his birthday twin, he'd been in love. His heart was melting and there was nothing that he wouldn't do for that child.

Calling the dog back inside, he gave a scratch behind the ears. Plating his bacon and a piece of toast, saving a few pieces to cool as a treat for the faithful canine. Checking his watch, Sy frowned, 6AM was a little too early to call his birthday girl. He'd have to wait until he saw her later this morning, when he would also be presenting her with the most perfect present in the world.

Around 10AM Sy's truck was packed with a few birthday banners, balloons, cupcakes, and a giant pink sparkly bow. Willow's lesson ended at 11:30, if he wanted to get there and allow his sister time to set up then he had to hurry. Sy couldn't wait to see his niece's face, when he presented her with the present that he'd bought her. He could picture it now, her eyes shining and that adorable smile, ear to ear, squealing in pure delight.

Arriving while Willow was busy cleaning her tack, Sy managed to get somewhat set up. A kind parent helping to set up made it easier on Sy. One last thing to get from the truck and they were set. Sy shut the door, the case of cupcakes in his arm. Walking back to the surprise location, the last thing he'd expected when he stepped inside the barn was Willow running towards him, tears streaming down her face, sniffling and trying to contain the sobs of anguish. Stopping in his tracks, Sy removed his sunglasses, intercepting the little girl rushing towards him at the speed of light.

“Uncle Sy,” Willow rushed her uncle, tears in her eyes. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she sniffled.

“Hey Wispy, what's wrong Bub?” Sy stroked the back of her head, the braided pig tails messed from their time under her helmet.

“Oh Uncle Sy.” She wailed, bottom lip trembling. A child crying on their birthday was never a good sign. Squatting down to be the same height as his niece, Sy wiped her eyes. “Checkers.”

“What about him?”

“He's,” hiccup, “he...” she sobbed. “He's sold.”

Biting his bottom lip, Sy felt for the little girl. He wished they could have told her before now, but that would have ruined the entire birthday surprise. Of course her favourite pony had sold, the second Sy had heard that the striking spotted pony had a price tag, he called and negotiated the sale. Checkers had sold nearly two weeks ago, his new owner none the wiser that the pony even belonged to her – at her Uncle's request.

Aimee and Mike had been discussing buying their daughter her own pony, though funds and the right pony were never aligned. When Sy heard that the favourite lesson pony was going to be sold, he discussed it with his sister and knew what he had to do.

Seeing Willow sobbing uncontrollably was going to make the reveal that much sweeter. Even so, knowing something his niece did not, seeing her in such a state broke Sy's heart.

“Oh Wispy,” Sy soothed her, bringing her in for a tight hug. “I know it hurts now, but just think, Checkers is going to have a little girl of his very own. Don't ponies deserve a good home and all the love?”

“Yeah, but I'm going to miss him. I wish I could have him. I would love him forever, Uncle Sy.”

“I know bub, I know.” Gently giving her a squeeze, Sy let her go rubbing the tears away from her cheeks. “How 'bout you go finish putting your things away, then come find me and we can give Checkers some treats and tell him what a good pony he is?”

“Okay.” Willow nodded, hiccupping through a new batch of silent tears.

Close one. Sy stood, blowing out a heavy breath.

He had to hurry, if he wanted to be set up by the time Willow came back. He picked up the case of cupcakes. Delicately arranged in the shape of a pony, of course. Sy had worked hard baking, decorating, and creating the perfect birthday treat. Walking through the aisle of the small riding facility, Sy smiled seeing his sister and nephew waiting at the party site.

They had arranged to meet up after Willow's lesson, catching a few of her horsey friends before they left. Parents happy to wait for an extra hour to help the little girl celebrate her birthday. Sending Willow to the car to put her things away had been the only way Sy could get her far enough away to make their plan work.

“Sy, Happy birthday.” Aimee hugged her brother tightly. Careful not to squish the container of cupcakes that he held.

“Thank ya.” He kissed her cheek, smiling wide. Nodding to Ben, who would rather be anywhere else right now. “Wispy was pretty upset,” he commented glancing over at the pony who was standing in a holding paddock near by. “I nearly broke, Aim.”

“Oh god,” Aimee rolled her eyes, “who knew all it took to break the soldier was a crying child.”

“She's gutted,” He frowned, setting the cupcakes down on a small table decorated with a pink birthday sign, matching plates, and cups.

“Won't be for long,” Ben shrugged.

“Sure you and Mike are okay with this?” Eyeing his sister, Sy smirked adjusting his cap.

“Well, we kind of need to be. It's not like we've a choice.”

“Course you do, if you don't want the pony, I am sure Checkers and I would get on fine.” laughing, Sy took a good look at the pony who was content to eat the hay he'd been given. The big sparkly pink bow around his neck didn't seem to hinder him any. “He's a good looking boy.”

“I'd like to see you on that pony.” Her laughing intensified, Aimee snorted slapping Sy in the arm.

Her giant of a brother would look insane on the pony, even if Checkers was on the bigger end of being a pony. Hell, the last time she'd seen Sy ride he was maybe twelve, before girls and other interests had taken over his attention. Back then he would have loved to have his own pony. Their parents had allowed Aimee to begin taking lessons, when Sy had tagged along, insisting that he be allowed to ride too. Fearless, the six year old climbed onto the horse assigned to him and didn't bother to look back. For a few years everyone had began to assume that he'd eventually end up in high school rodeo, after that he'd find a woman and settle down on a farm somewhere.

Heh. What a life that would have been. A wife and kids were evidently not in the cards for this Syverson. He loved his nieces and nephews, but the scars his life bore, it would be unfair to condemn a child to a father who was broken and haunted by war. Clouds settling in his mind, Sy cleared his throat bringing himself back to the present matter at hand. Tormenting his sister.

“I happen to be a fine rider.” Winking at Ben; Sy nudged his sister. “I remember being a much better rider than some others that I know.”

“Shut up, I was a good rider.” Defending herself, Aimee stuck her tongue out at him.

“I know you were, but I was better that's all.” grinning from ear to ear, Sy ruffled his sister's hair, checking his watch. Willow was still missing, unlike her. “Should I go find Wispy? Bring her over?”

“Uh, yeah. If you don't mind.” Aimee nodded, checking her watch. The car had been unlocked, there was no obvious reason for her daughter to be held up.

Walking to the parking area, Sy laid his sights on the suv belonging to his sister. The doors were all shut and no sign of Willow. His truck, parked beside it was also vacant. In the back of the suv, Willow's stuff was tossed in. It looked like she had thrown it and ran.

“Wispy?” his heart began to thump when the car was clear. Logically, Sy knew that she couldn't have gone far. The soldier in him told Sy that there was no need to panic. The uncle side tried to take over his wildest imagination. No, sir he was not allowing those thoughts in. Listening for a moment, he took a deep breath steadying his heart and calming the pounding in his veins. “Willow?”

Behind him, he could hear a rustling in the grass. All the dogs were around the back and this was too big to be a barn cat. Following the noise around the corner of the shed, Sy's heartbeat returned to normal finding Willow sitting in the grass. Knees to her chin, her face stained with tears, her jeans dirty, boots covered in dust.

“You coming, birthday girl?”

“Uncle Sy?” Willow sighed, rubbing her hands against her eyes.

“Yeah?”

“My heart hurts. Is this what it's like when you have a broken heart?”

“Wispy, bub.” Sinking down to sit beside her on the grass, Sy felt his chest tighten. Wishing that Aimee had never mentioned the sale.

“I miss him already.”

“I know, but for now he's still here and he wants those carrots that I brought.” Trying his best to encourage his tiny shadow, Sy smiled. “If we go see him now, it means we get to spend more time enjoying Checkers than worrying. We can't predict tomorrow.”

Leaning into her uncle, Willow sighed. “But why did he have to sell? I love him, I don't want him going to a new home and on my birthday.”

“Oh Wispy,” Sy kissed the top of her head. He wanted to tell her, reassure her that Checkers wasn't going anywhere, but he didn't want to ruin the surprise just yet. “Honestly, bub, I don't know what to tell you. What I can tell you is that it won't always hurt.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Now, your ma is waiting for us. Some of your friends have stayed, too. There are cupcakes.”

“Really? But I thought we were going to feed Checkers.”

“We are, after. I wasn't supposed to tell you about the cupcakes, but I even made them myself for you. Come on, let's go enjoy the day. It's our birthday! No tears on our birthday.” Standing, Sy held his hand out to Willow.

Grasping her Uncle's hand, she squeaked when he grabbed her and tossed her over his shoulder. Laughing hysterically, Willow flopped around on his back, bracing herself with her elbows as he walked through the yard.

Seeing Sy with Willow over his shoulder, Aimee instructed Ben to grab Checkers and have him ready for his sister. Whatever. Ben crawled through the wooden fence, clipping a pink lead line onto the pony and coaxing him away from he hay. His sister was about to lose her mind. Straightening the bow, Ben smiled fondly at the thought of how happy his little sister would be.

“Happy Birthday, Wispy!” Sy announced setting her down, back to Checkers.

“Is this all mine?” Willow's eyes were wide as she stared up at her uncle.

“Sure is.” Nodding, Sy smiled with pride.

A few of the kids who had stayed were giddy with anticipation. Wishing their friend a happy birthday, waiting for the big moment. Turning to look at her mom, Willow spotted her brother with the pony. More tears in her eyes, she began to loudly sob. Her body shaking, words escaping her. Kneeling down beside his niece, Sy sniffed back his own tears.

“Happy birthday, Willow. He's all yours.”

“M-mine?”

“Yeah sweetheart, Checkers is all yours. If you want him.”

“I do. I really do, I love him so much.” Willow rushed the gate, fumbling to undo the latch. Frustrated she darted under the fence, throwing her arms around the pony's neck, hugging him tightly. “My own pony,” She whispered, causing Ben to smile. Handing his sister the lead line, Ben took a step back allowing his mom to take photo of the moment.

“Send me a copy, will ya Aims.” Sy wiped his hand across his eyes, putting his sunglasses on to hide the tears.

“You big softie.” Aimee nudged him. “Go on, get in the photo with them.” She urged her brother.

Stepping into the small paddock, unlatching the gate – unlike his niece and nephew there was no way in hell Sy was darting through the fence boards. He stood next to Willow for a moment, stroking the spotted neck of the content pony. Whispering softly to Checkers about what a good sport he'd been.

“I can't believe it.” whispering, Willow looked up at her uncle. “He's all mine.”

“He sure is, bub.” Holding out his arms Sy smiled when Willow rushed into them. Hugging her uncle tightly. Scooping her up, Sy took the lead line from her, holding Checkers beside them while Aimee took some photos. “Happy birthday, Wispy.” Sy smiled kissing her cheek.

“Happy birthday, Uncle Sy. Sorry that I didn't get you a pony.” Willow kissed his cheek, hugging her arms around his neck.

#captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #henry cavill #captain syverson imagine

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dxxdlexxdle · 3 years

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Mr. and Mrs. Prongs Love Story Headcanon!

my fav heteros deserve some love tonight. it’s raining currently where i live, and it’s a good night to write some heart-wrenching headcanons, i think!

words: 1,694

warnings: fluff, hints at smut, maybe? pain. eternal fucking suffering cause this fandom kills me. some of the storyline may be fucked my memory is HORRIBLE and i tried to base some scenes off of MsKingBean89’s all the young dudes

—

In their first year at Hogwarts, the very first day they had even been inside the castle, actually, James Potter realized something.

The copper haired girl across from him was awfully pretty.

She was disgusted at the way he declared someday they would be married. “WHY would I ever marry you?” She had shouted, moving down the table to the blonde and curly haired witches she had met earlier on the train. James stared at her, doe-eyed. She was perfect.

This did however mean he was the first of the boys to take an interest in girls. By girls I mean, well, just Lily. Sirius Black thought it was awfully funny. “Mate, girls have cooties.” Remus Lupin was too shy to have an opinion. Peter could hardly even tell his own feet apart from left and right, and his lip trembled when he got yelled at, so there was no hope for him.

James took to teasing Lily to try and get his point across. Lily thought it was horrible. Why was he being so horrid if he supposedly fancied her? Why did he even fancy her in the first place? Somebody like her, a witch from non-magic parents, and somebody like him, a pureblood wizard?

It wasn’t until one day in potions she told him just what she thought of him. His tormenting had gone on too long. He had bewitched one of her pigtails to tug on its own from across the room.

“You are foul, James Potter!” She had shouted, resulting in thirty points from Gryffindor. James had just beamed.

James was a smiling mess, really. For starters, she had said his name, out loud, to him. Secondly, her nose scrunched when she was angry.

Anybody would notice a girl’s nose scrunch when she was angry, surely?

In second year, he announced that this would be the year she would want to marry him too. Alas, no luck. If anything, this year, she came prepared with snarky remarks to his teasing. It made him swoon.

In third year, Lily Evans overheard the boys whispering in the common room.

“What are you four planning?” She had asked, plopping down beside her lanky, slightly edgy looking best mate Remus. She avoided James’ eyes.

“Look at this, Mrs. Prongs come to join the party.” Sirius chuckled, and James punched him in the arm.

“Mrs. Prongs..?”

“SIRIUS.” James hissed at his friend who was doubled over.

In fourth year, she had begun to tolerate him. The teasing from Sirius was what did it. James was bad enough, his almost-brother was as relentless as him, but for different reasons.

“Prongs and Lily, sitting in the Whomping Willow, S-N-O-G-“

“Sirius!” Lily and James shouted in unison, equally red.

Fifth year changed them both. This was when Lily realized Remus was a werewolf. She swore secrecy, and promised to tell nobody else, as long as she lived.

James had already known. Once a month he was running in the woods as a stag, pushing his half-wolf friend around playfully with his antlers- or should I say prongs? ;)

In sixth year, Remus Lupin noticed Lily sitting in the stands, watching Gryffindor’s quidditch practice.

“What’s got you here? Marlene isn’t at practice today?”

Lily had turned a shade almost as red as her hair. “Oh Remus, don’t make me say it,” she hissed. Remus was in a fit of giggles.

“You fancy James!”

“Hush!” And she whacked his arm with her textbook.

To be honest with herself, this was not the beginning of how she felt for James. It had been a fluttering feeling in her tummy when she noticed him in the common room a few weeks earlier, sweater sleeves rolled up, reading over the quidditch signups. His messy hair, his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose..

But, anybody would notice the way a boy’s sleeves were rolled up, exposing brown skin and pretty veins, surely?

Lily never knew this, but James had noticed her watching him. He kept the smirk to himself. He felt the flutter too. Ah yes, twitterpated.

Sixth year was also the year they learned how to cast a patronus. A silver doe shot from Lily’s wand on her first try, which elicited squeals from the girls and cheers from the boys. The deer pranced around the room, as if looking for something. As if missing something.

James purposely disrupted the class that day, so he could be sent out. It cost 50 points, but he didn’t care. He knew as soon as he cast the stag that would shoot from his wand everybody would know, and he just couldn’t do that to Evans.

In 1977, when the Marauders and co. went on their camping trip, James and Lily really had only stayed up talking that night, despite the somewhat knowing looks Sirius tried to pass to James in the morning.

It had been late, after Remus had come out, and the other girls crashed in their tent. Sirius had gone down to the beach after him.

“Sirius ought to leave him be, reckon that was difficult to admit..” and James scratched the back of his neck. Lily had turned to him then. Their eyes met.

“Are you joking? They’re both gay, you idiot. They’re very clearly in love. Look at the way Sirius looks at Remus, he looks at him the way I look at you.”

Their kisses had been hot and heavy in the darkness of their tent, but that was it. Kisses the two had waited far too long for.

That night, James admired the girl lying beside him. He pulled out his wand and cast his patronus, and due to the size of the tent the stag was tiny, dancing over their heads. Lily blushed and cast hers. For the first time, the doe wasn’t searching anymore. She had found the stag.

Their relationship was as expected. Letters all summer, Lily even taught her boyfriend how to use a muggle phone. Then, in the autumn, they were all over each other. Holding hands in public, snogging in broom closets,

“You are foul!” Lily had giggled, smacking her boyfriend on the hand as it slipped up her skirt in potions.

“What was that, Princess?” He murmured, and she couldn’t argue with him anymore

James admired her every minute he had the chance. How she looked reading, sleeping, spilling tea down her sweater, and especially how she looked at him with her heavy, fluttering eyelashes.

Because, how could he not admire the prettiest girl in the world when he was on top of her?

After they graduated, they immediately moved in together. Due to the war, Lily promised her muggle parents she would be safer. Although they didn’t understand (or like) the idea of their daughter fighting a war, they let her go with warm goodbyes.

They fought. They attended order meetings. They had lunch with Peter and Sirius and Marlene and Mary and Dorcas when they could. They fretted over Remus’ whereabouts. They paced.

Lily proposed. Well, I suppose James proposed first every damn year at Hogwarts, but she meant it for real that time. They were married by the fall. They invited everybody still alive, and they danced, and they seemed to glow under twinkling fairy lights. They had cast their patronuses again that night, just so the doe and the stag could dance over their heads.

“Reckon they like each other?” James smirked, and Lily just laughed.

When she found out she was pregnant, James slung her over his shoulder and spun around with her, and they laughed. They laughed until they cried because holy shit, we’re having a baby!

He talked to her belly every time he had the chance. “Hello little boy-“

“Could be a girl,” Lily objected, leaning against the headboard, guiding James’ hand with hers over to where the baby was kicking.

“Right. Whatever they are, they’ll kick ass on the quidditch pitch, huh bub?”

In July, with a scream and a cry and a push, a slimy baby was placed on Lily’s chest. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe she was here, with this boy who chose her, looking at their beautiful boy. James was right, and he was ecstatic.

“A son! I’ve a son-“ and then he was too choked up.

They taught Harry how to hold his head up, they both tried to get him to say “Mumma” and “Dada.” They took polaroids of his drooly smiles and his giggles. They took pictures of Uncle Moony and Padfoot holding him. They had a picture of Uncle Peter with Harry on his hip, and the pen on the bottom read ‘future chess master ;)’

When they went into hiding, their only real fight was about whether Remus was the spy.

“He’s our friend,” Lily had argued, angrily picking up baby toys from the floor and putting them into the toy bin.

“But he’s a were-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Lily said, tears threatening her waterline. “Remus is a good man. He’s as good as you or Peter, or Sirius. He is our friend. He’s my friend. He would never.”

And although that night they fought, James still told Lily to take the baby and run, because even though they were angry, he’d die before he ever let Voldemort touch her.

“James, wait, I’m sor-“

“You and me, right Lily?” His voice was strained. He almost couldn’t look at her. At the fear in his eyes that reflected in hers- the eyes he had to see every time he looked at his beautiful son. He wanted to run with her, but he knew he couldn’t. “Take Harry and go. It’s him. I’ll hold him off.”

Lily Evans made it upstairs by the time the front door was blown open. Harry had been asleep. She cradled him in her arms, preparing for the blast of the door being opened.

“Harry, Mumma loves you. Dada loves you. Be brave, Harry.”

James Potter died thinking Lily Evans had made it out alive. It wasn’t until the stag saw a familiar silver doe at the edge of the woods, waiting for him, that he knew.

—

#imsosorryyall

#im fucking crying #why did i write this #lily evans #james potter #atyd #fashion #fiction #novel #harry potter headcanon #marauders headcanon #jily headcanon #jily love #patronus

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angelruel · 4 years

Text

vintage pt.2

summary: the reader gets into an accident which causes her to lose her memory. as Ruel begins to rebuild their relationship and recall the good memories between them, some bad ones are restored as well and might threaten their future.

masterlist

Word Count: 4.4 k (kind of long, oops)

“Soooo what’s my favorite color?”

“Easy. Blue,” he retorted while reaching over to fill in a space on the tic tac toe board that Y/N had drawn on her empty lap desk. He was the x’s and she played the o’s. It was a bit difficult for Ruel to pretend to not know all of her tricks she played in this game, but he was a very convincing loser. She had also taken the opportunity of his return to test him on some trivia of her personal likes and dislikes.

“Okay, here’s a good one,” she said as she filled the left hand corner on the board with a perfect circle. Ruel learned a long time ago that her strategy was to fill two corners and the center spot of the board in order to have an upper hand on winning. He watched her play the same way over again. Ruel admired her predictability and he almost felt confident enough that her tic tac toe skills returning would somehow correlate to her feelings for him to return as well.

“Well finally a good one. Lay it on me.” He gave her his signature soft smile that he always grants her when he’s being his sweetest version of a boyfriend.

“What’s my favorite song? Or, at least one of my favorite songs.”

Ruel scrunches up his nose in thought, “hmmm. I’m gonna need a little more context, bub.”

“Okay so maybe my favorite song I like to hear on a road trip. Something that gets me energized.” Ruel found it funny that she was reaching for more and more clues to jog her memory. They both knew that couldn’t she remember the last road trip she’d been on, or any of them for that matter. He was proud that she was at least in a more positive mood about not remembering things.

“Wait a Minute! by Willow Smith. There’s one.”

Y/N’s happy expression dropped to a confused one.

“Huh? I don’t listen to Willow Smith.”

They both just sat there for a while. There was still an apparent wall that Y/N had built up to secure herself from being hurt by Ruel since she barely knew him.

But the truth was that she barely knew herself.

“Well, I guess I did listen to her music,” she dropped her head down. “I guess I just can’t remember it.”

Ruel used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe off the marker drawings on Y/N’s desk tray so that he could lean over it to hold her hands.

“Hey, how about we do something else? I brought back some stuff like you asked me for.” She looked up and gave him a soft smile when he let go of her hands to grab a blue shoebox from the floor.

“Oh, you brought gifts! Yay!” she exclaimed while clapping her dainty hands over and over. He sat the box in front of her lap on the hospital tray and she stared at it for a minute. One of the things she did remember was that blue was her favorite color. And after having a few conversations with Ruel, she discovered that his was brown. So, she assumed that the color of the box was a little nod to her. She thought that was really sweet.

“You can go ahead,” he encouraged her. “If you have any questions, just ask.”

She hesitated to lift the flimsy lid from the top. Partly because she was afraid that seeing the contents wouldn’t help jog her memories at all, and also because she was still pretty weak from the constant dosage of pain meds she’d grown accustomed to.

The first things to come out of the box were some polaroids and a bunch of little papers she grabbed that were grouped together. One of the polaroids showed a group photo in front of a campfire with little writing at the bottom that said ‘new years 2020.’ There were some post-it notes with little messages written on them in pencil. They were fading but Y/N could still make out what they said. It was a girl’s handwriting, and there was a little drawing of a pond? Or maybe a lake.

i drew you a pond since you wanna act like a silly goose all the time. bitch.

-y/n

There was another one filled with words instead of a cute drawing, and she assumed this one was a serious matter.

hi, love. i left to go watch the sunrise with coco around 4 am-ish. you probably would’ve wanted to join us, but you look so peaceful when you’re sleeping. and coco said that you’ve been smothering me lately and encouraged me to sneak out. anyways, i’ll probably be back before you see this, but just in case i’m not, don’t call the cops. okay that’s all. in case i never return, i love you.

-y/n (under the heavy influence of stella)

Ruel chimed in to explain. “Yeah, you used to leave me little notes like that sometimes instead of texting like a normal person.”

“And you kept them?”

“Of course I did. I’m not a monster.” He joked and she playfully hit his chest with the stack of notes. Ruel scooted his chair closer to the side of Y/N’s bed and leaned in. “Lets see what else we got in here.”

There were movie tickets, receipts from restaurants, and even old wristbands from festivals.

“Is this what you meant when you said I grow attached to material things?” She laughed on the outside but in reality, Y/N was so infatuated in the idea that a boy would keep a box of things that reminded him of her and their relationship.

“Ha yeah, I guess it kind of rubbed off on me after a while.” Ruel reached his hand into the box as well and pulled out a little beaded bracelet. It had a simple pattern of ocean blue and brown wooden beads. He played with it in between his fingers.

“I remember this. Your cousin made it for us when you brought me to Thanksgiving. She kept running back and forth asking us what our favorite colors were. It was so cute. And she said we had to share it,” he reminisced.

He gave her the bracelet which she carefully placed on the wrist that wasn’t connected to an IV. There were mostly pictures in the box. Pictures of Y/N and Ruel in different settings: kissing, posing next to venue signs with his name on it, cooking, etc. She picked up one of the pictures and examined it carefully.

“I remember this,” she said in a nonchalant matter. Ruel looked up at her, then back at the picture in her hand.

“You do?”

“Yeah, I remember that whole trip. That was a fun trip. Hmm.” She hummed to herself in bliss with a grin on her face.

“Tell me about it,” he grinned back at her. “What do you remember?” She looked down for a while. It was almost like the times they spent together were in secret, and too precious to share with anyone else. She felt a deep connection to someone-whoever it was to make her feel such strong emotions in just the echos of the times they spent together. Y/N began longing for the person who made her experience this type of fondness. The person she was looking for was right in front of her. Why was she holding back?

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“Okay, how do I say this,” Y/N’s hand snaked up to her head to rake through her hair as she paced in deep thought. She took in a deep breath and turned around to look at him sitting in the hospital chair across the room.

“I-I want this to be special. I mean, you’ve been so patient and considerate with me. You haven’t tried to rush me into anything at all. But I see the way you look when you think I’m not paying attention. You’re hurting, and I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to finally give in. Well not, finally give in, but. You know, you know what I’m trying to say right?” She used every ounce of energy she had to walk across the room to face him. She picked him up and brought his face close to hers.

“I’m trying to tell you that I love you,” she whispered and smiled softly. Before she could say anything else, Y/N heard the doorknob rattle in desperation to open it.

She quickly threw the teddy bear back into the chair and tried to pretend that she was doing anything else.

Ruel leaned into the door frame and struggled to keep his balance as he carried a Taco Bell bag and two drinks in his hands.

“Oh, let me help you with that,” Y/N rushed over to him to grab the drinks and his eyes grew in shock.

“Well, it’s nice to see you up and moving so much. The doctor was right, you really have been getting stronger every day.” Y/N smiled up at him with pride as they both settled the food onto her desk. “So, have you heard anything yet?”

“Anything about what,” Y/N mumbled in between taking bites of her soft taco. She knew exactly what he was referring to, though.

“Oh, you know. Like when are you gonna get out of this place? I mean, with the way you’re up and walking now,” he brought his free hand up to rest on the back of her neck as he examined her face with concerned eyes. “It’s been, what, four weeks now? They said four to six weeks, but by the looks of it, you’re healing up really well. You’ve done so good lately.”

She mouthed ‘thank you’ and gave him another wide smile. Y/N was happy that he was proud of her progress. He played a big part of her growth, though. Through the discomfort and the multiple procedures she had to undergo, Ruel was always there at the side of her bed to rely on. Whether she was up at 4 am crying because she couldn’t remember the names of her dogs or freaking out in excitement after being able to stand up on her own, he was there for it all.

And as her strength developed each day, so did her trust and love for him. She assumed that it wasn’t the same as their previous relationship, but it was more than enough to keep them happy. He would always tell her that he loved her, but she didn’t say it back. He told her it was fine, that he knew she didn’t really know who he was and he wouldn’t hold it against her. But in return, he needed for her to accept that he still loved her as much as he did before the accident and to be okay with him loving her even if it meant that she couldn’t love him equally back for a while.

But after spending so much time with him, Ruel was hardly a stranger to Y/N anymore. He was a friend, a very understanding and attractive friend. She couldn’t ignore the burning sensation she felt deep in her stomach when he would cuddle up close to her on the bed during their movie nights. She couldn’t ignore the desire or the comfort she felt for him any time that he was around (which was very often because Ruel was always around). He told her that he would wait for her, that she should take her time to decide if she wanted to continue their relationship whenever she was ready. He told her that she’d just gone through a major trauma and that she needed to focus on getting better. He said he would wait for her, but a part of her feared that he was only saying this to make her feel better. She feared that he had already accepted that they were just friends, that maybe he’d already began a new romance with some skinny long-haired girl in Sydney and he was just waiting for Y/N to get her strength back so that he could go home to her.

“Okay, well I have to tell you something,” she finally came out with. Ruel sat up straight in his chair to give her his full attention. His eyes were fixated on her face and his hands rested in his lap. She found herself lost in thought trying to remember what she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t focus on anything but his beauty.

“Did they already tell you whether you’re going home or not?” he laughed a little as he went to grab his drink off of the desk. “Did I miss it when I went to get lunch?” He used the side of his jeans to wipe the water that got on his hand from the cup. His huge hand. The same huge hand that he then used to move the long strands of hair out of his face. He’d previously told her that she did not like the long hair look on him and always encouraged him to get haircuts and shave. In the moment, Y/N couldn’t figure out why the hell anyone would ever encourage him to change his appearance when he looked like that. The long hair and mustache gave him a much more mature look in comparison to the old pictures and videos she would look at of him. She couldn’t understand why anyone would want to cut the hair that she so desperately wanted to run her fingers through. She quickly snapped out of it and shut her eyes so she couldn’t look at the beautiful boy in front of her.

“I really do have to tell you something,” she started and stopped because she was nervous. With her eyes still closed, she felt Ruel’s hand grab hers.

“What’s going on, why are you acting so weird?” he let out a nervous laugh and Y/N realized that he was probably feeling the same anxiety as her in the moment. She knew that someone had to be the confident one in this scenario, and she decided that it would be her. She took one last deep breath and let go of it.

“Do you remember what I told you when I first told you I loved you?”

“Yes,” he laughed again, “Do you want me to tell you the story again?” She nodded quickly in a child-like manner and looked at him in adoration.

“It was a little after a month of us dating and I’d just taken you home after we went out driving and just hanging out. I was almost back in the car when I saw you run out of the house, barefoot, yelling at me to wait.” Y/N laughed a little and felt the tension between the two of them begin to melt away.

“And then what did I do?”

“You went into this whole speech about how you felt and how you were very scared to be vulnerable because you were afraid of being hurt. And then you said something that I’d never forget,” he looked up at the ceiling as if the answers were written on the tiles, “you told me that the fear you felt only grew as you fell more in love with me. You said you thought that it would never go away, but you didn’t want it to stop you from embracing the happiness you felt when you were with me. And then you told me you loved me, and that you were scared of me. You said that I made you wanna jump into the fear rather than run away from it. You said you knew that you loved me as soon as you felt scared. Because you knew you had found something worth cherishing. And if it ever went away, you didn’t think you’d survive it.” He looked down. After saying all of that, it still seemed like there was something he was missing. He looked as if he didn’t manage to not break her heart. He was scared too.

“Ruel?” Y/N let her hands relax and gripped onto his tighter.

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared.” She began to fiddle with his long digits and almost felt hesitation to do anything next.

“What are you afraid of-” he began, but was interrupted by the connection of her lips onto his. He freed his hand and rose it up to the back of her neck so he could deepen the kiss. They kissed again, and again. They kissed until their faces were red and she broke away for a moment to catch her breath. She smiled at him and he looked back at her in disbelief.

“I love you. I really do, Ruel. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long but I don’t want to be just friends. I want you in my life like you used to be,” her eyes dropped to her lap and her expression changed, “before everything got so fucked up.”

He grabbed her face again and began to pepper it with kisses. At this point, Ruel was halfway onto her bed. She brought up her dainty hands to cup his face and she gently pulled away again. Ruel hitched a rushed breath out as he pouted in confusion as to why she pulled away.

“Oh yeah, I’m going home today.” She smiled with her teeth and he laughed in pure bliss before grabbing her face again.

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The boxes piled in the middle of the living room all started to disappear one by one. Y/N watched in awe as Ruel picked up every box and placed it in its proper area. Her legs swung back and forth in boredom while she waited on top of the kitchen counter where Ruel had placed her since she refused to wear shoes on the trip to her apartment.

“You’re such a good slave,” she told him in a sweet tone as her eyes followed him across the area. He shook his head, barely giving her an ounce of the attention she practically begged for, and continued moving things around.

“Honey are you sure you’re gonna be okay on your own like this? You can stay back home a little longer if you’d like,” Y/N’s mother remarked. She looked at her daughter with concern.

“I’m not alone, I have Ruel. And besides, I’ve already left the nest once before. I should be fine.”

“Well I guess I’ll be on my way home now. Call me if you need anything. Anything.” Y/N pecked a kiss on her cheek and guided her mom outside.

By the time she got back into the apartment, the living room was clear of boxes and she moved down the hall in search of her boyfriend. She found Ruel in her bedroom on the edge of the bed hunched over his phone.

“What’s so interesting?” She sat down beside him and rested her chin on his shoulder. Once she realized what he was watching, she pulled out one of his airpods so she could listen in. It was from her Youtube channel she started a few months ago. She had faint memories of vlogging herself doing normal things like grocery shopping or going to her brother’s football games. She’d only looked at a few of her storytime videos, including the one where she details how she met Ruel. This was a video she hadn’t seen before, though. It was of her and Ruel together in some resort. It looked like they were on vacation and he explained to her that they were in Amsterdam for some music festival and had decided to make an entire trip out of it since it was so close to their anniversary. They’d coordinated matching outfits for the first weekend and were posing in front of the bathroom mirror together like lovesick idiots.

“Damn, I’m so jealous of us.”

Ruel let out a low chuckle at her and skipped through the parts she’d recorded of his performance.

“Yeah, most people are.” He fast forwarded to a portion of the video after they returned to the hotel. Ruel was in the shower and Y/N was laying on the bed, recently showered, detailing all of the ways she was proud of her boyfriend. He laughed when she poked fun of how he forgot his own lyrics on stage.

“Well that was almost cute,” he added and locked the phone.

“Hey, it’s still pretty cute,” she laughed, “You can’t be mad at me for telling the truth, babe.”

“Babe, huh?” he questioned as he turned to face her.

“What, is that weird? Or too soon? I mean, you call me ‘bubs’ and ‘love’ all the time,” she looked down and played with the details of her jeans.

“It’s adorable. I love it. And I love you,” he reassured her as he cupped her face and pulled it in for a puffy kiss. She kissed him back, this time with more dominance. Y/N kissed Ruel like there was a pot of gold hidden somewhere in his mouth that she was determined to get.

Ruel matched her energy right away. He kissed her back and gripped the back of her neck to guide her face closer into his. They adorned each other with open mouths and full hearts. As they continued, Y/N felt the urge to go further and further with him, exploring his body and getting to know him on a more intimate level. They were so good at making out, it seemed like they’d done it a thousand times before. It felt like she was kissing a lover from a different lifetime, like she’d replayed scenarios over and over which all ended with her loving him. She couldn’t remember ever doing this with him before, but her body remembered. Everything with Ruel came with such ease. Every time he touched her body, she was overcome with euphoria and only craved more. She craved being closer to him, kissing him deeper.

“Mmm, take this off please,” she tugged on his shirt and he quickly pulled it off before resuming his actions. Y/N felt herself falling into an intoxicated state as she moaned against his mouth. He responded to her by wrapping his hand around her thigh and pulling it closer against him. They both began to move in sync with each other, both giving and taking as their bodies danced a routine they knew too well. Y/N was so distracted by Ruel that she didn’t even hear her mother walk back in through the front door. She only whined when he pulled his face away from hers.

“Why’dyoustop,” she breathed out. She was out of breath and watched him with puppy dog eyes as he stood up.

“Your mom is back,” he stated flatly. He was clearly out of breath too and he was trying to calm himself down so he could see what was going on in the front.

“...so?” she gave him a blank stare and patted on his side of the bed to join her again, “she can let herself out.”

“Don’t worry, bubs. We’ve got time,” he chuckled to himself and pulled his shirt back on over his head. Y/N sighed and jumped from her side of the bed to join Ruel in the living room.

“I’m sorry, hun. I forgot the most important box: your things from the hospital.” Y/N’s mother placed a small box on the counter and tapped the top of it lightly, “This is what you had on you when the crash happened. There’s not much in there, just the clothes you were wearing, your wallet, your phone,”

“My phone?” Her eyes perked up. So did Ruel’s. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. I bet there’s a bunch of clues in there to help jog my memory,” she picked up the box and skipped down the hallway to drop it off.

“I’m pretty sure it’s dead, so you’ll have to find a charger for it. You probably have the same kind.” Her mom gestured towards Ruel, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost. His eyes were fixated in thought, emotionless and dazed in a trance.

“Huh? Oh yeah, probably. Sure.” He snapped out of his guilty state quickly and turned to see Y/N coming back from her bedroom.

“Was that it, Mom? Cause we were just about to go out and get some food before it gets dark.” They both said goodbye and hugged Y/N’s mother. Once the door was shut behind her, Y/N grabbed Ruel’s hand with a quickness. His worries were suddenly gone as she led him down the hall.

It wasn’t long before they’d continued right where they left off. Y/N was still indulging herself in him and embracing the comfort she felt in his arms. She gripped the fabric of his shirt into her fists to deepen the kiss and felt the vibration from his mouth into hers as he let out muffled moans. With each kiss, she found herself thinking about all of the things she couldn’t wait to do with him before another thought popped into her mind and snapped her out of the daydream. She pulled away from him and turned her head towards the box.

“I’ve been wondering what was left on my phone,” she gestured to the dresser. “I need to plug it up so I can see what was going on before I lost my memory. It would be cool to see who I last talked to right before my life was ruined, right?” She laughed and began to sit up. Ruel grabbed her hand and lightly pulled it so she could come back down to him.

“I thought you wanted to do this, yeah? I mean hey, this is our first official night together alone. We can look into the phone later, right?”

Y/N nodded and laid back down next to him. “Hmmm, you’re right. This first, phone later,” she declared before connecting their lips once more. As Ruel rolled his lanky body on top of hers, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder why Ruel was so against her looking at her phone. Was there a dirty secret in there that he didn’t want her to find? She dismissed her paranoid thoughts and continued.

a/n: okay, so that’s that on that. ugh what is on that phone that he doesn’t want her to see???? i hope this makes sense, i’ve reread it so many times and it seems like crap but i’m still going to post it. thank you for the support of my page, and please send me asks with what fics you would like to see next ;)

#one ruel #oneruel #ruel #ruel fic #ruel imagine #ruel imagines #ruel one shot #writers on tumblr #ruelvandijk #ruel van dijk #ruel vincent van dijk #ruel x reader #rueledits

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nostalgiabones · 5 years

Note

can you do one where Luke comes back from tour and baby boy is being shy around him because he hasn't seen him in so long

So I thought I would do this including my Hemmings Family of Eight AU! It would only be a short tour, since he had such young children, and he couldn’t stand being away for them for too long - as well as not wanting you to have to look after six children on your own. You were fully capable of course, and he knew that, but he also knew it would be a lot to handle, especially with a young baby.

It had only been a week away, just a few radio shows around Europe, and he couldn’t wait to get home. He’d missed all the snuggles from his babies, and he couldn’t wait to hear all about what he had missed over the last week. His heart burst when he opened the front door and heard lots of footsteps charging towards him, all trying to jump into his arms at the same time. A chorus of “daddy! We missed you!” made him want to cry as he pulled them all into his arms, kneeling down so they could all hug him.

“I missed you all so much!”

The whole family sat around the dinner table, eating the meal you had been preparing for him all afternoon, ready for him to come home. He loved hearing all about what the twins had learned at school, the new friends Willow had made at nursery, and what new song Grayson had been working on. He’d missed the familiar surroundings, and how noisy the house was. Tour had felt so quiet without the sound of children running rings around him, and he felt so at home with the familiar sound back.

Only what hurt his heart slightly, was that Theo seemed less excited to see him. His youngest baby seemed to be avoiding his gaze, almost seeming shy, around him. He thought maybe he was just tired, or needed to warm up to him being around again, but he was sad that he hadn’t had a cuddle from his littlest baby yet.

After dinner was tidied up, he was determined to get the worry out of his mind that Theo had forgotten who he was. “Theo! Come here bubs, I missed you so much.” He cooed, reaching down to him in his high chair, scooping him up into his arms.

Theo wasn’t too happy about it - he whined in his arms, his bottom lip coming out in a pout as Luke bounced him a little. “Hey, Teddy, what’s the matter?”

Your heart clenched at the sight, concerned that your worries were coming true, that with Theo being so young and not being used to Luke being away, he was unsure about him being home again.

“It’s just Daddy, sweet boy.” You reassured him, kissing his forehead as he appeared more unsettled in his arms. “He’s back, look!”

“It’s just me, my little Teddy.” He kissed his soft cheek and ran a hand through his curls, humming a familiar tune under his breath in the hopes that the baby would realise who was holding him. It took him a minute, but his blue eyes focused on Luke’s face, and it was like everything went back to normal.

He grinned around his pacifier, leaning forward into Luke’s chest so his head was snuggled into his neck. A feeling of relief washed over the two of you, no longer concerned that he didn’t know who his dad was. “That’s my boy.”

And later that night, as he fed Theo his night bottle and rocked him to sleep in the soft chair in his bedroom, he felt so relieved that his baby hadn’t forgotten who he was. Because if that happened, he wasn’t sure that he’d ever be able to tour again. “Good night, Teds.”

Taglist: @irwinkitten @i-calumhood @gorgeouslygrace @luckyduckydoo @letstaketheups-and-downs @jazzyangel242 @cashworthy @babylon-corgis @norawashere @monsteramongmikey @late-nightdevil @ashtonsghoul @fivesecondsof-mee (message me to be added!)

Masterlist

#dad!luke #dadsos #dad!luke blurbs #lhfamilyof8 #luke hemmings blurb #5sos blurb #5sos blurbs #dad 5sos blurbs #dad!5sos blurbs #dad!5sos #dadsos blurbs #dad luke hemmings blurbs #myblurbs

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tenecity · 6 years

Text

zhangjun

was listening to the sam willows; for love and just suddenly had the urge to write so welp here you go.

for love, by the sam willows

masterlist

zikun: 1 2

cr.@aestheticninepercent for being an amazing BUB AGAIN

❝ too many nights spent home alone, with your laughter in the air ❞

Zhangjing and Yanjun. Yanjun and Zhangjing. It always been like this. Yanjun and Zhangjing, Zhangjing and Yanjun. Inseparable.

At first, they just bickered a lot.

“Zhangjing, what’s that you’re eating?”

“....” Zhangjing just glares at Yanjun. “Oh come on! You’re supposed to be my best friend. Don’t tell the staff about this, pretty please? I will give you half of the noodles, I promise.” Zhangjing says as he pleads, eyelashes fluttering ridiculously, hugging his cup noodles tightly to his chest. Yanjun rolls his eyes and pretends to brush him off, but in reality, the pumping of his heart at how long Zhangjing’s eyelashes are and how absolutely endearing the other boy is, causes a flush to spread across Yanjun’s pale cheeks.

Yanjun tells lame jokes, Zhangjing laughs at me. That’s how it works i don’t make the rules. Soon enough, things go the other way round, and Zhangjing becomes pretty much the only reason why Yanjun would laugh hard and high pitched, especially when Zhangjing does something really stupid. For example, walking into a pole.

“Yanjun, stop laughing! Come comfort me.” The elder pouts as he winces when his hand comes into contact with the bruised spot. Yanjun only chuckles and laughs, telling the rest of the Nine Percent members, and Banana trainees (by text) how idiotic the boy is.

Zhangjing, also finds himself generally happier and uncontrollably smiling when around the boy, as compared to when he was with the other members. The edges of his mouth twitch as he tries (but fails) to look at Yanjun sternly as the younger waves a Harry Potter wand at him. He ends up grinning, lips pulling into a cheshire grin, laughing till his voice changes pitch.

However, the closer they get, the more Zhangjing finds himself worrying.

“Yanjun, you were, and still are sick, you had a fever just this morning. Why do you have to over exert yourself and ask a bloody heavy child like Fan Chengcheng to sit on your back while you were doing push ups?” Zhangjing is practically glowering with anger right now, hands on his hips, eyes dark as they flash anger. His heart had ached so much, when he saw beads of cold sweat forming on Yanjun’s forehead as he did the push ups, looking significantly paler than he was 5 minutes before.

“I can’t give up my perfect, handsome image, all just because I’m sick!” Yanjun tries to lift up the atmosphere but to no avail. Zhangjing’s expression only darkens. “Are you kidding me right now Lin Yanjun? Don’t you know your limits?” The boy was so angry that he pushed Yanjun, causing the Taiwanese’s legs to hit against the bed and plop down on the soft mattress. Zhangjing points his finger as he jabs at Yanjun’s muscular chest. “Know your limits. Stop hurting yourself. You come first.” The last parts come out as a whisper and colour paints Zhangjing’s cheeks as he realises what he just said.

His chocolate brown eyes travel from his finger to Yanjun’s umber brown ones. They stare back at Zhangjing’s irises with such intensity, that Zhangjing almost reels back, but is stopped by a hand at his elbow. Yanjun’s lips form a smirk and his voice is low and smooth, sending shivers down Zhangjing’s spine. “Is You Zhangjing, who never cared about anything besides singing and food, concerned about me?” “Shut up, Lin Yanjun.”

Still smirking, Yanjun continues taunting. “So I come first?” His eyes challenge Zhangjing’s own eyes and the elder doesn’t back down.

“So you care-”

“Just shut up Lin Yanjun.”

Before he knows it, Zhangjing’s lips are on his, soft, sweet and biteable. A soft whimper escapes the elder’s mouth as Yanjun does just that. Sparks fly at every contact they make, at every corner of their mouths, at every swipe of a tongue. Yanjun feels light headed, whether from the fever or the expert mouth of Zhangjing’s, he doesn’t know. At that, he quickly pulls away.

“Zhangjing, are you stupid? You’re going to get sick like this.” Yanjun fusses as he quickly gets up and pours Zhangjing a glass of water and passes the flushed Malaysian vitamin Cs. A wicked smile makes it way to Zhangjing’s face. He pouts and shakes his head, refusing to eat the vitamin Cs. “Zhangjing, you’re not five. Hurry and eat it, my hand’s tired.”

“I’ll eat it if you feed it to me with your mouth.” Yanjun rolls his eyes as he blushes. He never thought Zhangjing can be so open about his thoughts.

That’s how the rest of Nine Percent found them, kissing, laughing, trying hard to not spit out the vitamin C.

That’s how it’s been like ever since. Late night kisses, midnight make out sessions, caresses, touches, physical contact. But Yanjun never said a single “I love you” or confirmed with Zhangjing that they were in a relationship. Zhangjing never spoke a word about it either, because he didn’t find it necessary. He was fine with how they were, somewhere in between best friends and lovers, with some strings attached. His heart lurches every time Yanjun brushes his fingers over his, every time he catches Yanjun staring at him, every time Yanjun’s dimples appear.

But it just wasn’t enough for Zhangjing. He is greedy. He admits it. He wants Yanjun, he wants the whole world know this beautiful boy was his, nobody else’s. He wanted to tell Yanjun how much he loved him, not just for his pretty face or perfect body, but for his upbeat, firm, solid personality. He longed to whisper love songs to Yanjun instead of sweet nothings that meant absolutely nothing.

But he knows Yanjun is a completely non committal person. He doesn’t commit to relationships. He likes the idea that he has someone, but there is no full commitment. “Burden” he had once told Zhangjing. That was how he felt about relationships. His girlfriends had never lasted more than a month. His incessant flirting was evidence for that. He would flirt with anyone, even a dustbin for god’s sake, and everyone flushes under his words, everyone wants Yanjun’s attention and the boy gives out his affections freely.

Zhangjing can’t help but feel a sour taste in his mouth as he sees Yanjun shamelessly flirt with Xukun, completely oblivious to a glowering Ziyi and a Zhangjing whose eyes are sending him daggers.

He can’t do this anymore. It is either he has all of Yanjun, or none of it. Having something that is half-hearted, incomplete, is too painful. This push and pull game, this constant insecure feeling, this fear; Zhangjing’s heart and mind can only take this much. This is too much.

Maybe because he love Yanjun so much, maybe it is because he wants Yanjun to love him back equally, that his heart is at the verge of breaking, because he knows the possibility of that happening is a naught. He can’t afford an emotional breakdown. He is terrible at faking happiness; his fans would know something is wrong and create chaos about it.

No, he needs to break it off now. It’s now or never.

Zhangjing goes to bed early, his breath hitching when the bed finally dips down and a body is clinging onto his small frame.

“Zhangjing…” the whispers causes Zhangjing to bite back a whimper. Hot breath fans across the nape of his neck and he shivers at that mere gesture. No, if Yanjun has so much control of him, even a single breath can send Zhangjing to his knees, then no, Zhangjing can’t continue this. He can’t lose control over himself, he can’t lose control to someone who is likely to be temporary.

Lips are sucking along his pale neck, the chapped texture grazing over the skin, causing the hairs to stand. Yanjun’s hands roam under Zhangjing’s t-shirt, like how they do every night. Only, tonight, it’s going to be different.

“Yanjun, stop.” His voice is too weak, Zhangjing mentally scolds himself. Yanjun misinterprets it as a silent plea for more, so his lips sink down on the milky white skin, marring the flesh.

“Yanjun, I said stop.” Tears almost choke him. But Yanjun doesn’t stop, completely misinterpreting anything and he shifts, allowing his lips to trace the obvious collarbones of Zhangjing’s.

It wasn’t until he want back to give Zhangjing’s lips a peck does he taste salty water droplets and realises Zhangjing’s silent cries.

“Zhangjing, what’s-”

“I said stop.” The elder pulls himself up to a sitting position, swinging his feet over the bed.

“Let’s stop this.”

Yanjun knows exactly what Zhangjing is talking about, and he’s confused. He refuses to believe it. So he asks softly, as if, perhaps, telling Zhangjing to stop joking around. “Stop what?”

Zhangjing’s eyes glisten with tears as he looks back at Yanjun, his brows furrowed and hurt, pain and anguish is spelt on his face.

Yanjun doesn’t receive an answer.

Zhangjing slept outside that night. All the members knew about it. But they daren’t ask about it, when they saw the pained expression on Zhangjing’s face and Yanjun’s lips set in a thin line during breakfast.

That’s why Nongnong had agreed immediately, without questioning, to move into Zhangjing’s previous room.

“What are you doing here?” The sharp words make Nongnong flinch. God, he hates being in between couples, but he sucks it up because his mother is sad, for tian’s sake.

“Zhangjing asked me to change rooms with him.”

“He doesn’t get to bloody choose.” Yanjun’s voice raises a notch and he stomps out of the room, pounding hard on Xiao Gui’s room’s door. “You Zhangjing! You don’t just get to change rooms like this.”

His hand is raised to send down another pound when the person he wants to see steps out. “Zhangjing-”

“Yanjun, go back to your room.” The boy is surprisingly calm and unfazed by the glare Yanjun is sending him.

“You Zhangjing-” Yanjun’s eyes are shining with warning but Zhangjing can see right through hin. He sees a boy, a child, tears running down his face. Why, why, why? Breathe, Zhangjing, breathe.

“Lin Yanjun, go back to your room.” The leader stands right behind Yanjun, pulling the upset boy away from the trembling Malaysian.

Zhangjing takes in a deep breath. No, don’t give in.

The room feels empty. Too empty. Nongnong’s things fill the space, but it is still empty. There is no Zhangjing’s laughter bouncing off the walls, no whimpers ringing in his ears, no one to cuddle with during the night, no one to tell lame jokes to, no one to scold, no one to tease, no one to whine to,

no one to love.

Yanjun is an oblivious idiot. He never knew that he loved Zhangjing. He thought the sweet, aching feeling at the pit of his stomach whenever his eyes traced the Malaysian’s soft features that were bathed in morning light, was just because he ate something wrong. He thought the hiccup he felt when Zhangjing brushed hands with him was because he was thirsty. He thought that having his eyes glued onto Zhangjing, noticing every single thing about him was normal amongst friends. Apparently not.

He never knew until it all became so damn obvious.

“Hi, may I take your order?”

“Yes, um, one caffe latte, one caffe mocha, one double shot espresso, um,” Yanjun squints at the list. “Ziyi, what’s this that you wrote?” Ziyi glances over and then, with a soft smile of his face, recites it like he learnt it by heart. “Iced hazelnut macchiato, more ice, double hazelnut syrup.” Yanjun raises his eyebrow. “It’s Xukun’s order.” Yanjun nods knowingly. Of course Ziyi would know Xukun’s order. “Any more, sirs?”

“Yes. One doppio espresso mocha, Grande, with extra chocolate and extra milk foam. That’s all. Thank you.” He takes the receipt and walks to the next counter to get his drinks. It’s Ziyi’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Didn’t know you were a specific kind of guy, Yanjun.” Yanjun shrugs, replying nonchalantly. “Oh, it’s not for me, it’s for-” The name dies on his lips. OH. Oh. oh.

Ziyi knows Xukun’s coffee order.

Only lovers would know each other’s coffee orders.

And Yanjun knows a certain someone’s coffee order.

The realisation is like a hit in the gut.

Yanjun tries to ignore the pain but it’s a bit hard to pretend that his heart is not being wrenched out of his chest when he sees Zhangjing throwing his head back in laughter; laughter not for his jokes, but for someone else’s.

Nights feel emptier and emptier. The soft snores of Nongnong don’t compare to the small puffs of breaths Zhangjing gives when he is in deep sleep. Yanjun stares at the moon lit ceiling. He used to stare at that ceiling with Zhangjing in his arms.

But the side of his bed that once belonged to Zhangjing is cold and empty.

Nothing seems fun anymore, nothing seems to have a purpose. He watches helplessly as Zhangjing gets carried bridal style by Nongnong. His heartstring are about to snap. He listlessly practices, listlessly answers interview questions, listlessly participate in group activities. It’s not just the pain, it’s the lack of sleep too. How many nights did he spend reminiscing how Zhangjing’s lips felt like? How many nights did he spend recalling all the times Zhangjing laughed and it was like the sweetest melody to his ears? How many nights did he spend thinking about the times he still had Zhangjing? Past tense, past tense, past tense.

And now he is left with nothing, because Zhangjing was avoiding him like the plague, barely sparing him a glance.

❝ how many nights has he spent alone, with Zhangjing’s laughter left in the air,

like a fond distant memory?❞

❝ if it hurts bleed it out on this guitar ❞

Everyone in the group could feel the shift in dynamics. But no one said a word about it. That’s life isn’t it, people come and go, move and shift, constantly never in the same place.

But Zhangjing doesn’t want Yanjun to just come and go, move and shift, constantly never by his side. Yanjun is not a passerby, Yanjun was supposed to stay.

Why did he let go?

He had thought maybe, just maybe, Yanjun would come running to him, apologises spilling out from his mouth, kissing him, whispering “I love you”. But none of that happened. Yanjun just went on with life, the same nonchalant expression, as if unfazed by the recent events, like they didn’t matter at all.

Was he not worth something, for Yanjun to do something about the situation?

He poured his heart out to the ever listening leader and Xukun’s hands rub Zhangjing’s back as he sobs, waves of sadness crashing on his body. “Zhangjing, Zhangjing, hey, listen to me. Do you want Yanjun or not?”

Zhangjing looks at Xukun, slightly distorted. Of course he wants Yanjun.

“Then why did you let him go?”

Everyone in the group could feel the shift in dynamics. But no one said a word about it. That’s life isn’t it, people come and go, move and shift, constantly never in the same place.

But Yanjun doesn’t want Zhangjing to just come and go, move and shift, constantly never by his side. Zhangjing is not a passerby, Zhangjing was supposed to stay.

What happened?

Did he not give enough?

He poured his heart out to the ever listening leader and Xukun’s hands rub Yanjun’s back as he sobs, waves of sadness crashing on his body. “Yanjun, Yanjun, hey, listen to me. Do you want Zhangjing or not?”

Yanjun looks at Xukun, slightly distorted. Of course he wants Zhangjing.

“Then why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

So he’s going to do something about it. If he doesn’t do anything to get Zhangjing back, he will regret it, forever.

So he practicing, playing the guitar, strumming as he drowns himself in the lyrics of ‘You exist in my song’.

“你就这样出现在我的世界里，带给我惊喜，情不自已

(you appeared in my world as you did, bringing me a pleasant surprise, that I couldn’t resist.)

可是你偏又这样，在我不知不觉中

(but you had to be like this, without me knowing,)

悄悄的消失，从我的世界里，没有音讯，剩下的只是回忆”

(you quietly disappeared, from my world, without a word leaving behind only my memories)

Muffled crying can be heard at the doorway and Yanjun whips around, only to see a glimpse of Zhangjing.

He runs after the smaller boy, like his life depends on it, hot tears evaporating as the cold wind cuts his face.

“Zhangjing, Zhangjing, wait.” Yanjun is almost breathless as he crashes into Zhangjing, spinning the Malaysian around, lips ghosting over the other’s, hot breath fanning the flushed cheeks of the elder.

“I love you.”

See, Yanjun. Was it that hard to say those three words?

#zhangjun rules #one of the superior ships #the other is ofc zikun #nine percent #lin yanjun #zhangjing

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