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officialspec · 1 month

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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

#ask #headcanons #passes out. my Mind #dunmesh

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konishirrr · 1 year

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Couple-y stuff yall do

→Atsushi

·go on little dates around yokohama

·basically sightseeing or feeding pigeons in parks

·i feel like yall would have this fav show between the 2 of u and always watch it together when yall have time

·if ur not japanese he can teach u japanese and if u r japanese maybe yall have diff dialects so win win :pp

·leaves little love notes around the house and keeps all ur letters in a special box

→Akutagawa

·play around with rashoumon like its a cat

·making sweets together like usually cupcakes and he always sends some to dazai

·buying medicine for his asthma together

·listening to songs together and making "our" songs and singing them together when yall r alone♡

·having late night talks while just cuddling

·eating figs together in comfortable silence

→Sigma

·tries making cookies w u

·has a smiley face u drew on his calender

·playing a guess the guest game prolly

·i can see him caring alot abt how ppl see him so i can see yall doing morning affirmations

·doing skincare toghether

·buying him a bunch of kids books and laughing when he starts crying bc the "storys so beautiful"

→Fyodor

·i can see him reading the bible before bed and ur just snuggled next to him reading a totally diff part of the story

·making tea for each other

·doing whatever ur hobbies r next to him while he works

·forehead, hand, and cheek kisses

·dancing 70-80s music like abba i said this before but my personal hc is "waterloo"

·likes u doing his hair and doing urs :'))

→Dazai

·alot of pranks and teasing

·always gonna make a scene and dragging u into it :D

·making prank cards together and sending them to his colleagues

·kisses u when ur mad to calm u down and it honestly works

·stargazing together and talking abt life 😗

·randomly starts flirting w u even tho yall r already dating

→Chuuya

·talking abt the mafia and work while drinking wine together

·i can see him reading poetry and finding inspiration and making cheesy poems for u

·buying and shopping for hats, clothes, accessories ect

·sometimes makes time to take a picnic w u in the country side

·buys roses for u for no reason like itd not even ur anniversary and he just comes back w pink roses

·i just KNOW he loves matching w his s.o especially chokers and accessories

tried doing akuzagawerrr

#bsd headcanons #atsushi x reader #atsushi x you #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa x you #sigma x reader #sigma x you #fyodor x reader #fyodor x you #dazai x reader #dazai x you #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #that was a LIST #❤️

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communistmarktemple · 6 months

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watched the all of the hatchetfield series recently and had things to say about the way pokotho was handled in the last episode of nightmare time. dunno how much ppl on tumblr care about this but figured i'd post anyway

spoilers for the guy who didn't like musicals and nightmare time 2 episode 4: yellow jacket; slight spoilers for nerdy prudes must die.

in tgwdlm pokotho is established to take over people but like, theyre still individuals. and his goal there seems to be making everyone united and happy. and singing. the singing is an important part of it.

but then in yellow jacket hes like… deep voiced sadistic completely takes over peoples minds and leaves them blank shells. and is said to "want everyone dead except him" which directly contradicts like. everything about what made tgwdlm interesting.

bc theres this question the whole musical of like. what about what theyre singing is them and whats the hivemind. so like. to say he just wants it to all be his own voice completely removes that intrigue. and also directly contradicts what tgwdlm says about it "on some level theyre individuals but on a larger level theyre limbs of a single organism" but if theyre all just pokey then no, theyre not individuals.

also like. "what do you want paul" makes NO sense if thats just pokey speaking. why… why would he talk about mr. davidson's wife choking him out. thats what mr davidson genuinely wants. it doesnt even make sense as a manipulation tactic like you could argue for the other songs because like. it actively makes paul run away. theres nothing about mr davidson's want that would make paul want to join the apotheosis.

like "not your seed" is WAY more interesting if those are alice's actual feelings (and all those feelings track with the way she acts in watcherworld!!) but if you want to say its just a manipulation tactic that still tracks. making bill think its his fault that alice is gone would make him more likely to be willing to join. same with "you tied up my heart" and "inevitable" but like. WHY is pokey telling paul mr davidson's kink. what the fuck does that have to do with anything. mr davidson clearly has some level of control still

and like obviously the lords in black being applied to tgwdlm is a retcon so theres gonna be some stuff that doesnt 100% track but like. pokotho wanting everything to just be him literally ruins the climax of the show. "let it out" is compelling bc like. it isnt clear whether or not paul genuinely does like musicals or not. like.

"I’ve never been happy Wouldn’t that be nice? Is this the secret? Singing and dancing through life? Is my integrity worth anything at all? But happiness can’t come before its fall Am I crazy? Maybe I’ve always been I've become what I’ve hated? Or maybe I never did It’s awful freeing now To share the hate I felt But what will I let in if I Let it out?"

LIKE. is paul's conflict here bc he genuinely cant decide if he should want to join the apotheosis? or is it 100% the infection? he wants to be happy. maybe this is the way to be happy. HE KNEW THE WORDS TO MOANA. HE SAYS HE DOESNT LIKE IT BUT HE KNEW ALL THE WORDS. his actor explicitly points out that paul knew all the words. hello. maybe he never hated musicals. maybe he did. but making pokotho just be this mindless evil "subsume all voices except my own" type answers that question. nah it was just the infection. and also the goal of apotheosis wasnt to unite the world and make everyone happy it was just to kill everything that isnt pokotho.

like. thats so boring. why the fuck would you do that. its so much more interesting to have pokey genuinely think hes helping everyone by uniting people through song. like why the FUCK didnt otho sing??? why is he just. deep scary voice?????? he should be sing songy stepford smiler.

when spitfire got possesed she shouldnt have become a zombie it shouldve been like. :) han-nah. :) :) this is better han-nah. :) :) you should join us too han-nah. :) (: :) (:.

why is pokotho's mask like OoO it should be like (okay this was originally said on discord and i used a custom emoji of device_friend from deltarune here) thats way fucking scarier. its way scarier to have your friend go from crying and screaming to turning to you and smiling than it is to have them just. slump over.

i feel like they literally forgot what make tgwdlm scary?? they literally forgot to think about the implications.

like i dunno maybe you can say that that behvior was just otho and not pokotho. like in nerdy prudes must die pokey was defintely more gleeful. but we didnt get to fucking SEE barely any of him. why would you not give us more pokey. the villain of your first musical? hello?? i get making wiggly the main guy bc hes who the audience knows but like. ugh.

webby says he wants everyone whos not him dead. and maybe shes just being more negative about him bc like. hes against her. but like. the way the othos worked seems to be retconning how the possession works.

and man is that boring.

#the guy who didn't like musicals #the hatchetfield series #nightmare time 2 #hatchetverse #starkid #pokotho #tbc i fucking love the series but this just bothered me. why write otho like that. weird decision.#this isnt the cleanest written thing in the world since this is just form messages on discord but like. w/e i dont wanna clean it up anymor

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drabbles-of-writing · 1 year

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as the OG source of the A Little Kindness AU aka Raine adopting Hunter I would LOVE to know how you would change it to be canon compliant. i mean obviously the reveal would be after everything, but god just imagine Hunter worrying about his anonymous friend/caretaker and he finds out its the FUCKING OWL LADY'S PARTNER and hes just so happy theyre ok and to know who helped him out all the time but also OH TITAN LUZ IS GONNA BE HIS SISTER EVEN MORE NOW!

~adoption anon

the little gray box who started it all!!!! welcome back

good lord there would be so many overhauls...just so incredibly many I gotta try to break it all down to smaller sections to even get. a glimpse

1) okay so as we have learned Raine was NOT, in fact, under any mind control, just pulling the biggest brained move on Snapdragon she ever did see. so raine doesn't even go missing in the first place, if anything they might halt the notes altogether but still remain in the castle just because they were under constant vigilance and meeting eda again mightve made them triply afraid of getting other people involved with their work. hunter stresses about it, as you do, but flapjack isn't freaking out cause HE'S seen raine's face, and he knows that they're fine, but he has no idea what happened, so Hunter is less concerned since Flapjack isn't. not by a lot tho.

2) so INSTEAD of Hunter booking it to Luz to plead for help on some criminals, he instead takes all of this suppressed fear and worry and stress and just kinda. balls it up. and then shoves all of it out in the open during Eclipse Lake. he goes HARD trying to get that Titan's Blood and the thing where he tried to relate to Amity over being a failure? he doubles down on that shit TREMENDOUSLY and their shared failing to live up to what other ppl wanted and pushing away their friends (granted Amity actually pushed Willow away to try and help, Hunter didn't push Raine away he just thought he did). you think his breakdown in Eclipse Lake was concerning? hes about to make it even more concerning. hes very very afraid for Bat and he would really rather they hate him than anyone found out they'd been talking to him and they got murdered, so he better try and beat the shit out of Amity! if Belos is pleased with him, maybe he'll hesitate on whatever punishment Bat might be having right now

3) Raine, bless 'em, keeps trying to help Hunter how they can, dropping these tiny hints they don't mean to drop. Hunter's part of setting up and preparing everything for the Coven Day Parade and Raine is noticeably always checking in on the Golden Guard. we know now that Hunter started showing his face more after the Palisman incident, but Raine isn't seen around often, so I imagine it's around the Coven Day Parade that they finally see what Hunter looks like--and good lord that IS a literal teenager what the hell did they DO TO HIM---alright scrap all the plans. darius, eberwolf, change of plans. everything stays the same, but we're kidnapping Hunter on the way out

4) Any Sport in a Storm is pretty much the same, Hunter is just even antsier & more desperate to get these new friends to like him bc. Bat. and also punts Darius twice as hard. Darius for his part is only marginally nicer because he knows Raine's weirdly attached to this little rat of a child--oh wait nvm he sees why now. alright valid point. Darius is a firm believer in "for the love of god just tell him you're Bat it will save everyone a lot of stress" but unfortunately Raine subscribes to "if anyone i really care about is within fifty feet of me we are All Going To Die"

5) mostly everything would stay the same in Hollow Mind, i think? Raine, Darius and Eberwolf might actually go up to the Owl House and speak when Hunter and Luz get trapped in Belos's mind since its both Raine and Darius that are stressed as fuck over the kid? in that instance then everyone teams up much quicker (and in confusion) but Hunter still books it out at fast speeds into the woods and somehow makes it to Hexside. he's a slippery little bastard, but luckily now theres a whole gang teamed together to track him down and hes found by Darius pretty quickly after the Owl House is evacuated and torn apart. however Hexside is VERYYYYY on edge over coven heads claiming to want to "help" and "have betrayed the Coven" so they're all beating Darius back like a rabid raccoon and Hunter thinks he's here to kill him. so thats fun. eventually Darius gives up, scruffs Raine, and throws them down at Hexside and demands they finally clear shit up. its a very cute scene of Raine sneaking in and slipping little notes under the door of whatever classroom Hunter's hiding for his life in, wherein he realizes Bat's come back. and Hunter's finally brave enough to yank open the door to---RAINE?????

6) more stuff that mostly stays the same. Hunter however is very stressed over Raine when they're trapped in the human realm which eventually leads to him and Luz talking a lot and him realizing "im sorry waht the fuck do you MEAN that the owl lady and raine whispers were a THING??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES STILL SOMETHING THERE????" but above all i want to fuck this boy up so insanely bad and at least give him a GLIMPSE of Raine's puppet body being possessed by Belos. even if there is no interaction other than Hunter seeing them for a brief flash I know in my heart that would fuck him up so bad. he would blame himself so so much. Belos really here to kill everything he loves before he can finally be free huh

7) MOST importantly they finally get to hug when everyones reunited and hunter feels SO INCREDIBLY GUILTY when he sees all the fresh new scars Raine has courtesy of Belos. to which Raine, in peak parent fashion, just goes "nah, i dont mind 'em. now we match :]" and Hunter's just god u are missing the point so badly but i'll let it slide. how'd you know my new scars were from belos. and raine just stares like "how did i know your new scars were from WHAT????? oh im so glad i killed his ass" "YOU DID WHAT"

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timingmatters · 1 year

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Man i like AND im rooting for buddie but (and ik im 100% getting attacked for this) they aren’t the main part of the show. They aren’t!!! Season finale is been out for like 2 hours and already I’ve seen people make 284848585 think pieces of why the show should be over bc buddie didn’t go canon. Like…. The white men maybe being queer are not the main representation of this show or the main importance pls. The main importance is def the family the ENTIRE 118 found in each other. And even if buddie goes canon the main queer rep is Hen. You know, the black lesbian with an family????????? (Which like…. You rarely EVER see on tv??????).

You can be mad at buddie not going canon but also to talk as if the entire writing should be jusged based on buddie like…. I need y’all to wake up a little idk.

Just feels like all characters and storylines are often forgotten or ignored to focus on buddie sometimes. Or maybe because i do like buddie and interact with the content is what i see majority of fans taking priority on.

To me the season finale was so good!!! Because it was everyone just freaking out and looking for each other and then bobby. And any ep where they all take a moment to remember bobby is their adoptive father is an A+ for me sjdjfjdj i adore ALL relationships with Bobby they are so precious. Buck taking charge was also amazing???? Hen wanting to take care of everyone???? Eddie trying to ignore his own pain to constantly worry about everyone else??? Saving Chim??????? Loved it!!!

I do agree the eddie and Buck girlfriends storylines were off. Eddie’s not THAT much. Buck’s was bc Natalia had just cared for him dying so idk why they are portraying it like they have such an emotional bond lmao??? Its mostly been how she was fascinated he died and then being uncomfortable he was a sperm donor (which i dont get why????? Ppl do it for money all the time lmao is not like hes a dad at all). But i do think the writers knew chances were very high for a s7 so im guessing they didn’t necessarily plan for a series finale. Like it was a risk but i think most of their cards were on a s7. Which we thankfully had!!!

I love buddie but i dont think it will ever be canon. Thankfully im not watching just for them so i still enjoy the show. I do hope they find better girls for them though or at the very least slow down with who they ended in s6 and develop it more next season. Still kinda hoping for buddie tho djfjffj

Hey!! Stydia took 6 seasons too lmao. Im not one to give up on ships!!!

Hoping ravi becomes a main in s7 too and we get eps with full storylines about him like everyone else!!! Maybe even a ravi begins ep like tradition demands!!!

#911 fox #911 abc #henrietta wilson #howard chimney han #maddie buckley #evan buck buckely #bobby nash #athena grant nash #eddie diaz

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gulliesforever · 8 months

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god. one thing i LOVE about amir that he has no self preservation. i was thinking abt the episode GIRLS. specifically the moment where the 2 girls at the bar say amir looks better but amir is like - “um no its obviously jake ur wrong” and jake agrees…

it got me thinking…. Thinking about how much amir is willing to take for himself vs how much hes willing to go for jake, yknow? like amir gets mad sometimes when he perceives an “insult” but its not bc hes defending himself as much as he is acting out. but amir actively DEFENDS jake when it comes to some traits he doesnt even TRY to defend in himself - his looks(girls as mentioned, and subtle comments like Swag where hes like “i only hang out with the hottest guys”)… how people address jake (like in Ice Breakers, Bitcoin, jake’s sick). there are exceptions to defending jake but to me those arent really about something like jake’s personality/looks that he cant change, and more a reaction about how he treats amir (trust fall 2) or jake acting like J-Witz for other ppl (some insecure jake eps, esp the recent ones)

And for the most part he plays along with Jake being the better one of the two. Ace and Jocelyn… hes the SIDEKICK. “You consider me dumb!” In normal conversation. Going along with being the Troll Named Rod in Tiny Wings. APOLOGIZING TO JAKE IN CORDUROY PANT. In Table Read where ALL his main characters ARE JAKE…!! Small things like that. He KNOWS and WILLINGLY ACCEPTS his role as being the guy who gets beat up and looks like shit to everyone else because who CARES about their opinions when ONLY jake’s matters??

in a weird way, he’s entirely selfless. amir doesnt do things for the benefit of himself. like yeah. he has murderous tendencies. he hurts people. but all of it is either for attention (mainly to be able to tell a story to Jake), random insane urges(<3), or a form of like??? overdoing stuff which self sabotages him????? Which he’s aware of vaguely????

its just… amir holds such little value on his own appearance, life, and wellbeing to the point where he just doesn’t consider he matters. him being hurt and betrayed is another tuesday. But he would defend jake no matter what. because jake doesnt DESERVE that. and whys that? its because amir LOVES him. because amir loves jake and that CLEARLY means he deserves everything. all his self love goes to jake. even if it hurts him in the long run or makes him look dumb. yknow. because whatever. who cares. EVERYTHING hurts anyways and whats another day hurting himself??? And that fucking makes me INSANE.

#mirmir #jamir #thoughts within thoughts #long post #HE MAKES ME FEEL THINGS .#god. i love amir so much as a character. hes so WERIDLY romantic and sweet even tho hes the #WUOTE UNQUOTE worst ever man ro ever man #HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #UGH #hes just so good i love character w no self preservation #sorry for writing an essay on mirmir i will do it again<3 #you know im insane about a characrter when i start posting 2AM essays #i havent done this since grif and stan #this is a category 7 blorbo event.#laying awake at noght staring at the ceiling just thinking about how raw and unfiltered amirs love for jake is #its genuinely an unstoppable force of nature #like he CANNOT help it.#thats why i LOVE breakfast date. He just cannot contain himself st even the PROSPECT of eating next to jake #GOD. HES SOOOOO. FUCKKKKKJ )rips my hair out)#HES FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE ‘TOO MUCH’ BECAUSE THEIR EMOTIONS

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lariyats · 3 months

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something something my haikaveh pokemon au

the NOTES. for people who don’t have much knowledge of pokemon.

if you have NOT been linked here from the fic, the fic is here.

KAVEH’S TEAM

Pidgeot, Reuniclus, Mehrak (Porygon2)

ALHAITHAM’S TEAM

Braviary (Hisuian), Metagross, Pichu

they each have a big bird, a stage 2 psychic type and a baby (mehrak is a baby) bc they’re cringe and matchy matchy mirrors of each other. etc.

i forgor the brush i was using so that’s why they look different oops sawry

FAQ (but not really)

Q: why does alhaitham have a metagross?

A: ‘i’m just a feeble scholar’ headass. i wrote that not many ppl know he has one but after the coup this changes and everyone finds out. they both hate it

Q: mehrak porygon and not rotom?

A: yes. bc someone has to be! ancient artificial pkmn thats been a little bugged out from age etc. i think its funnier like this too (running joke)

+relationship chart if anyone's curious. ignore that its in the notes app i wrote it while i was on vacation.

protip: birds were picked on vibes (pokedex entries), psychic types on vibes but also how they can help with their day jobs (actually only kaveh) and their babies on both vibes and helpfulness (you can probably guess who). check the dex entries for more information. what can i say.

reshiram is the dragon of truth + zekrom is the dragon of ideals - why theyre paired with haitham and kaveh respectively should be self explanatory. i think.

not mentioned, but the other competitors teams.

in this au, the structure of the competition rounds is the same as canon, but they can also pick one pokemon partner to help them each round. battling is prohibited except for in the final round, where some is allowed for purposes of gaining the diadem. kaveh picked mehrak in all three rounds.

- faruzan and golurk

- layla and abra

- tighnari and breloom

& of course, wanderer and silvally, cyno and lucario, and nahida and shaymin! nahida also takes care of a 1% zygarde (a little squishy guy)

ENDING SCENE COMMENTARY

in my idea of hvkh. hthm is kind of a ‘and then i’ll keep these feelings inside until i die’ kind of guy but also not really. he knows he’s in love but he doesn’t want to say it out loud bc he also knows that saying it when kaveh isn’t ready for it could end badly.

so what he does is show it in other ways. he bickers like usual. he goes to pick him up from the tavern and pay his bill and take him home, take off his makeup and his accessories etc. making little accomodations for him that he wouldn’t for anyone else. that’s the kind of love that he shows.

kvh on the other hand is the …. hmmge…. dunno how to word it properly but the ‘if i let myself be loved then i let myself be known.’ kind of guy. or something. it’s not that he doesn’t return hthm’s feelings! or even not know what it means! but he doesn’t want to accept them for what they actually are bc… if he does, then it also means confronting the fact that someone actually Cares about him [jawdrop.jpg]. and that person is like. the most annoying person you have ever known but also like the only person who perfectly matches you beat for beat and makes you Feel. feelings. horrendous.

so bc of that i did Not actually choose to put in words the big L word . Yes they do Confess, but in the theme of things, it’s more Actions speak louder than Words. it is also more wow. both me and alhaitham would probably break out in hives if he straight up said it like that. i would much rather let the two of them be the ‘act’ and the ‘react’.

i also think that kaveh is someone who loves romantic gestures and even though what happened was romantic (kind of) lots of things happened that made it also. really weird. so while its p much acceptance of feelings he also wants to have a chance to properly convey things and have a heartfelt romantic dramatic speech etc. after he's prepared. that's the proper answer part.

it’s a tale of two idiots who both have acts of service as their giving love language but the extent to which their receiving (acts of service) differs. bc kaveh probably has receiving (words of affirmation) and haithams is. idk. receiving (knowing that the person he loves knows he is loved and that he is taking care of himself and knows his own worth). bc as cute as physical affection hc is it do think that it’s not really something he absolutely needs or wants. whoa i am rambling ok ill stop myself there for now. whew.

#yatsu writes #equilibrium resonance #pokemon au #genshin #kaveh #alhaitham #haikavetham

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deadgrantaires · 10 months

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for orv!! 7 or 10, 16, 3 lol

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

i dont actually think theres a character i really properly hate bc of fandom (bc i can fix that). like i hate lee hyunsung but thats unrelated. but fan interpretations that i really hate in general and will throw me off from the art/fic if they include it the worst victims are uriel and yoo sangah i think. i could never HATE them bc i love my girlies so much but fandom w those 2 pisses me off so much i wont interact with a LOT of stuff bc of it

10. worst part of fanon

people who strip away eveyrthing from han sooyong and yoo sangah to ship them lol. especially yoo sangah ppl really just make her HSY's Gf and ignore eveyr other part of her character and i hate them so much for it. (petty but) everyone who just uses blackb.ox designs as default. even when they're boring (SWK U_U). ppl stripping away all of uriels character to make her funny fujo joke every time especially when they make her get gross w it

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

san.gsoo also SORRY lol i mean. u get it joelle but fr i really don't think its that interesting. i dont like their dynamic and i dont like how ppl will strip ysa of all of her characterization to make it work im not into it. its the zoro/san.ji of orv to me SORRY

also dont get why so many ppl just go along w webtoons designs no questions asked they are so so ugly so so often and i hate them so much :(( theeyre gonna make reinheit soon and im gonna HATE it i just KNOW U_U

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

hmmm this is a hard one…. bc i havent looked at fandom much to See actual bad takes...i guess when ive poked around in the tags a bit and seen like.... the total woobification of lhs occasionally as if. he wasn't choosing to be military lol like ye ppl are gonna like him go ahead but when ppl ignore that he's military and that when there was a break from the scenarios he basically went back to being a cop i dont care for that lol but u know me i will always be a lhs hater first and foremost o7

#ask game #asks

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gold-rhine · 1 year

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Noticed it came up on your poll a few weeks ago, what are your thoughts on sub Itto? I can very much imagine him with praise

oh, he'd be very fun, I just never get to writing him a full piece and no one requests him in ask game prompts. Itto is like one of the characters I find it hard to imagine as anything but sub. like, if you don't take charge, nothing is gonna happen. i mean, things will happen, like card games and him showing you his favorite beetles and so on. and i don't mean it in infantilizing way like like oh he's so innocent and naive. no, it's that he actually cares a lot about what ppl think about him and he first makes grandiose claims, and then self-sabotages himself by derailing and procrastinating it with other shit, it's happened in canon several times with writing up the brochure for the gang, the festival, etc. if you don't try, then you fail not because you're bad at it! so he'd make very bold claims first and then if you don't actually take things into your own hands, derail it into smth else

which like, its okay, he did the eyeliner, he did the hair, his 8 pack abs are out, he's wearing a full-on bondage harness and a choker. he did his part in looking pretty

Itto I feel like is one of the subs that you need to have long-term investment in, bc like he might not be bringing a lot of experience or competence to the table, but he has literally bottomless enthusiasm and stamina, responds incredibly well to praise, so you can literally just train him to do what you like. will easily spend a full hour on his knees doing oral and not be tired at all. and he's sooo fun to tease, bc he's so sensitive and responsive and it takes like 2 seconds to reduce him to a whimpering mess, but he has so much constitution to go on for a very long time, so its like, max fun at lowest investment.

#rhine talks #arataki itto

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wally-franks · 11 months

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hiii hi im here with my liddol hcs for u... looks up at u with my big sad wet eyes. this is my silly little au ,,, i love urs tho n would love to hear the angst bcos. theres so much angst i left out too fjrjfhie

ok so WALLY- little guy but absolutely not stupid. like he knows whats going on BUT hes just. a little silly sometimes. low braincells but can piece stuff together and is careful. carries a knife with him. does not want to get into trouble (excluding pranks ofc. loves them) uh. 147cm, transmasc, and pan. his hat is very important. i actually just finished making his hat but thats a different thing fhjrjf

talks a LOT and has a gossip group with norman n susie. but its all in good fun. n u know thomas is him boyfriend. they pretend to be Mortal Enemies but at home they r so so soft... they must put up a front at work because they are scared of how they'll look in front of other ppl. if only they knew that probably like 2 ppl total in jds were cishet fbjrj,, he has that audhd and his silly little catchphrase is everything ok.

thomas- too tall bites him. i mean. ahem. 183cm and bisexual. very closed off from people but will not hesitate to confront people. very touchy about the machine cos its his "best creation" or whatever. ok stupid college boy but go off ig. (i love him sm)

basically just there to get work done. he acts smart, looks smart, but hes "stupid"... not in the way of logically stupid, he is just very silly sometimes. also he smokes. i mean have u HEARD his voice (affectionate) he has 5 older brothers n his family is very sweet i think. gnaws on the thomas plush part twenty million

and finally SAMMY- very very stressed so he yells a lot BUT he does a softer side in private. he just needs to front as mean and irritating with everyone to keep his image up :(( grr squishes him very hard. transmasc and gay bc. he just is. does not like joey but then again in my au nobody really does but thats ok<3 back to sammy the babygirl. he is 168cm and his "partner" is jack... but we all know... the silly... also probably helped johnny learn the organ/piano. because it needs to happen

if u want 2 know more or have any questions my dms are open >:3c sorry for th ramble!!! fjrjeh

Hii!! I'm so sorry this took so long to get toooooo. I had to inhale this text for a bit and let it sog into my brain xD I always need a bit to take in muchhhhooss information (nothing bad btw just me being me hehe)

AND YEAHHH.. I should maybe talk more about angst. But at the same time I'm like. Naurrrr... Naurrrr... I really live by "there's always so much negativity and sadness in this world, no need to add more to it" SO I ALWAYS HESITATE SHARING ANGST AND SAD THINGS!! CUZ I'M LIKE!! WHY BE SAD IF I CAN HAVE FUN STUFF WITH STUFF THAT MAKES ME HAPPY </3 + most of it is just killing and torture anyway and euhm. Those tend to trigger ehm negative stuffs in me anyway :') Mostly just hallucinations and shit thoughts but!! You know, when there's a good time to share some of that stuff, I will!! :3 or maybe I share more about my toon Alice. She's a bit more tame about with that stuff. Anyhow. This is about YOU and not me. Soooo I'll go now through your stuff >:)

Wally being like that is true, that really fits to him!! He's just a silly that takes his his time to piece stuff together and that is okay :3

And OMG, mine also carries a knife around :D I just think it makes so much sense for hi to do so.... He's encountered moving ink puddles before, might just aswell carry a knife til. I feel like it also makes more sense after we saw his hat and a knife at artists rests (+ the April fools video hehe). Also, him being transmasc and pan is so funny because my old version of wally used to be exactly that aswell!! :D I changed that though, but again something very fitting for him. I loev your wally. He's so silly. AND SMALL!!!??? like damn OMG I didn't expect him to be that tiny. I could just launch him /lh

(Wally being a little gossip girly pop is so funny and real HAHAHA )

Thomas's and Wally,s relationship being like that is exactly how I envisioned it xD I love that for them so much.

And.. DAMN!! IM ALMOST AS TALL AS THOMAS BOY!! I thought yours would have been MUCH taller. Guess I was wrong. That's so interesting.

Also yeah... He definitely smokes. He smokes so damn much, probably several packs a day LMFOA. It's not to miss with a voice like that xD. You'd have to be insane to not think that.

Besides, BIG FAM FOR THOMAS ALSO MAKES A LOT OF SENSE!!

SAMMY BOY!!! SAMMY BOY!! I've been so keen on hearing about him!!!!! Wa'hh!! We love publicly intimidating and soft at home Sammy I love that so so so so so much waghahahhhh!! And he's also way smaller than I thought,!! Another suprise here :D but nothing bad. Just me being like woah?? In taller than him. ALSO, HIM AND JACK BEING A THING?? YAY!! I LOVE SAMMY AND JACK TOGEZHER WJAJAJAJ AND OHOHOHH JOHNNY MOMENT. JOHNNY MENTIONED *POINTSSS*

AND YEAH I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF I WANNA KNOW MORE. AND DON'T BE SORRY I LOVED THIS SO MUCH.. ERMMMM. IF YOU EVER WANNA TALK MORE ABOUT YOUR JOHNNY *twirls hair* I'd love to know what he's up to in your AU. Where he's mostly at!! Mine is first at the music department but then gets moved down to lacie and Bertrum, so I'd love to know where yours at!! And his personality too. That's the thing that interests me the most!!! Giving a character who has no info at all jngame a personality is always so cool and interesting to see :D everyone has like their own way of seeing and imagining characters.. I'd die to know how yours is!!!!

#long post #ask #reply

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dwter · 2 years

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What do u think the big dsmp update is i think itl be something like a memory wipe or so idk idk what else it could be unless its like some big fight but ik cdream has something planned and lots of people on the server kinda like him ish (remmeber the line "everyones gonna think i changed while i make ur life a living hell") i think maybe wel get that also in dre and wilburs reddit post they make the point of cdream tormenting ctommy by bring back cwil clear 🤔

this shit is so long brah im so sorry but IM SO GLAD IVE FINALLY WRITTEN EVERYTHING IVE WANTED DOWN 😭🌟 ok click for my. Thoughts 🙌🏽

if its a memory wipe im killing myself Hope that helps BUT i also have a few reasons why i dont think it will be. a) i dont think the smp would be as enthusiastic as they seem to be for whatever dream has planned if it was a memory wipe. we can look at it from a passion/sentimentality point of “they care too much abt what theyve already put into the story/developing their characters” but even from a logic standpoint it makes no sense. no one on that server that very few ppl have motivation for would suddenly become excited at the idea of having to “start fresh” but not even genuinely start fresh as theyd still have to adhere to whats around them. plus having to remake dynamics that were heavily cc-based anyways takes so much effort specifically bc they would be different from the original lore which was build on, again, the ccs actual dynamics that evolved over time. i just dont see the ccs, esp someone like tommy for instance who has said hes excited for what dream has planned, to be motivated by any form of a memory wipe.

b) i feel like dream (cc) sees and understands the value in the dynamics that currently exist in the smp and wouldnt change and discard them to that extent, both as a storyteller/lorehead but also career/retention-wise. do i see him creating an event that fucks up/twists/moves around the dynamics? absolutely. completely amnesia tho? no. hes a smart guy and one of the people most invested in the lore (and probably the lore-based community as a result) he KNOWS what ppl like and what keeps them here and there no way he doesnt see the personalities, histories and evolved dynamics as what does that, at least partially

c) it would be too much work + wouldnt make people log on a lot or in massive crowds. usually what makes ppl log on both in large amounts and consistently is 1. a set goal/focus 2. knowing other ppl are on 3. being able to do what makes them comfortable. 1 and 2 are self explanatory but with 3 i mean that ppl who dont want to do lore/dont enjoy doing heavy intense lore where they have to be in character all the time would not like or be comfortable with a memory wipe where they have to pretend and stick to that basically the whole time, esp if they cant rmr each other. imagine someone like tubbo for instance wanting to slip into casualness and just play and half talk to chat half be involved and slipping up about the memory stuff and getting frustrated like thats super real. amnesia would be terrible for morale and is just too much investment for a ton of them and wouldnt motivate ppl to log on (at least in the long run)

ok now that ive explained myself about this: what do i think it could be

i am a huge believer in the apocalypse theory/things similar. it would be a perfect ripple in the dynamics currently set without damaging, eroding or erasing them. it also would be able to give a goal/focus for the ccs which is one of the biggest motivators for ppl logging on which is also part another motivator which is literally just ppl being there when u log on/logging on with u. and it also lets ppl interact with lore and intensely or casually as they want as there is nothing they have to commit to the whole time or force them to go in and out of “lore mode” awkwardly. they can do whatever they want and say whatever they want, it is just up to them how in character they want to be and they can hang out and be with whoever fits their vibes the best in that sense, or go back and forth.

it just does what the reboot/update SHOULD do: give purpose in playing again, refresh whats already there, make things less ridged, let ppl start fresh without actually starting fresh and most importantly: LETS PPL HAVE FUN! and whether fun is lore breathing into a mic for an hour or a chill mining stream to prepare for whatever the apocalypse has caused/is or just fucking with your friends—this specific kind of reboot lets all of those co-exist if they want it to.

as for ur ideas: in my heart of hearts i dont want to believe it but the “im going to make ur life a living hell etc” line seems to be referencing the boy who cried wolf plot which is. Dead in the ground i fear <- says through gritted teeth. i would LOVEEEEEE if that line became important again but i just feel like all its implications have kind of been abandoned, at least what they used to be. and about ppl mostly liking cdream hmmm ….. i dont know how much that will play a role if things got rebooted, especially regarding ctommy. i dont think anything like final disc finale but with cdream and ctommys role reversed will happen. no one/not enough ppl on the server is cdreampilled OR ctommynegpilled enough for anything like that. plus a big fight wouldnt cause this much excitement (although i do wonder if the revamp is partially pvp based bc with how excited cctommy sounded about it, it definitely could be. thats something he rly enjoys and likes about minecraft and dsmp like he mentioned it in the tribute video (like the battles he had with dream being his fav)). that last point IS interesting tho hmmm ….. maybe it was just stating a fact rather than it being foreshadowing? although cdream hasnt used cwilbur enough as leverage for me to think theyre done/didnt have anything else planned for that. either way tho, im not sure how much that involves the update since i think for it to make EVERYONE excited, it has to be something that involves the entire smp/affects it all/everyone, not just the big three

ANYWAYS thank u for reading all my rambles and thoughts if u made it this far anonnie or anyone else. i feel at peace now. mind body and soul. all at ease. 😊❤️

#ask #PHEW .#my god #im fre e #essay

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magnoliamyrrh · 1 year

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i was sexually abused as a child, it happened in kindergarten and because of the culture of silence and fear that was instilled in 5yo me and not wanting to bother my dad lest he would want to spend even less time with me, i had no brains to protect myself. when the abuse became known to my teacher, they did little to protect me and my mother had to go through hell to change things for me. in my memory the culprit was a classmate of mine, who would also get other boys to watch, but for the longest time i have the blurry memory that there was an adult there, a cook lady also involved in different capacities, laughing, telling him what to do and staying with me afterwards, opening the closet door for him, even holding me touching me, its all so blurry. she also would not let me go piss to the point where i pissed myself and sat in my soils for hours. it has made me disgusted with myself for remembering and for forgetting at the same time, and the fact that my whole family knew for the longest time and dismissed it as something small that i won't even remember and leaving it to my poor mother who had to deal with my wounds and trauma and nightmares and screams and detachment... imagining your 5yo having utis constantly and having to explain the situation to doctors makes me scream and i am still so angry and fearfull. i don't know how people have children

the boy who did it kept reminding me any time i would encounter him later in life, we went to the same school for two years when i was 7-8 and he would leave notes for me. and therapists have encouraged me to forgive and recognise he was also a child dealing with his own trauma and he did have to change groups because of what he did but i the pride he displayed is something i can't forget and it makes me lose faith in people any time my brain recalls it.

huge part of it is how mind-blowingly poor my country was in 2000s. our kindergarten group was 50 people with 2 teachers changing shifts, the cook had to take care of kids. and i feel this was largely preventable and i hate my family for putting me in that situation. and this is the first time im saying it, but i do, i do hate them. worse happened to me in the years after which was also ignored and minimized. i will never feel clean i will never feel normal i ran away so far and cringe at the thought of going back home and facing these buildings, the backdrop of my abuse.

i agree with you, we have so normalised sexualising children in the balkans, to the point where adults don't recognise sexual abuse as such. i grew up wanting to be ugly, wanting to be undesirable, i would fall on purpose so my legs scar, and keep my arms and pits hairy, i hid my face under my hair and cried for days when they forcefully cut it. i was glad when i broke my nose and even when I chipped my tooth because it made my smile all crooked. my mum was not talking to me, and sadly proclaimed it made me ugly. and i know it did, i knew it undercut my value but was that really so bad?my dad had always commented on my looks so much and how fat my ass is and how undesirable i am but from him it felt different. i had to walk that line my whole life and am completely exhausted.

tbh, ive never said it all so firmly and coherently, i am just dropping it here because i know you will understand and pray for me in your own way, the same i do when i experience your writing. i feel like all concrete that we have to walk on in this wretched world is seeing each other. nothing is unknowable and noone is invisible. and only thing that has helped me in my life has been knowing and seeing others, and letting their pain mark my soul in a prayer.

hey anon <3 i published this bc i wanted to give an answer and i think it can b helpful and a little less lonely at times for other ppl to hear other ppls experiences, but pls send me a message and let me know if you want me to delete this and i will

im really sorry for all that u went through. its just horrible and i wish you hadnt and im sorry and i wish i could give you a hug, but thank u for opening up to me. i do very much get it. im glad my rambelings have been of some comfort, thats part of why i keep this blog as a public diary and im rather unfiltered, bc id hope ppl who have been through similar things would find some solace in knowing theyre not. alone w it.... i thought i was alone w a lot of things for a such a long time.. i didnt say anything about anything for such a long time. youre right, you said it well. the world is so often such a cruel and cold, vile deranged nightmare and i think one of the only things that really matters is caring about other people and not letting all the bullshit kill your soul...one of the only things thats kept me sane is knowing other people who fucking get it. i hope finally being able to write it out has been of some help. i will v much keep u in my prayers <3 and feel free to reach out or vent anytime

... and yes the povery is in general a rly big issue in a lot of this and issues related to it i feel. growing up at my kindergarten it wasnt quite as bad, but we had two teachers to watch... 40+ kids at least and things would often get out of hand and yea, with us the cook or other random facility would often have to watch us too. as the years went on the school had less money and it got worse. i remember during naptime there wouldnt b enough teachers to watch us or theyd just fuck off and not care so this group of mean,, particularly girls but some boys would literally step on us and jump on us and say mean shit etc etc. and i remember for so many years going to the bathroom as girls was just a nightmare - wed all go together bc going alone was too dangerous and when we tried some of us ended up w boys trying to barge into the stalls and pulling at our underwear and trying to get their hands in more than once and we got sick of it,, so some girls would always have to stay in the door and try to keep it shut bc boys were so vehement on barging in. gross af, and it was scary, even at that age they were like demons and sex pests, and the teachers that were there far from did a good job at keeping that shit under control.... and im really sorry again. any adult who does that sort of shit is just deranged - the sort who work around kids only to have access to them and feel power. if it makes you feel a lil better, in kindergarten there was this woman who was particularly,,, cold, who just would not let me go to the bathroom during naptime for what seemed like no other reason than her being a cruel controlling bitch - which, having a bad bladder and utis and never being able to fall asleep, and being afraid to go to the bathroom at a normal time bc of the boys, i almost always needed to. and she wouldn't let me and shed insult me and threathen to beat me if i asked, i think one time at least she did actually beat me, so id either spend that time trying not to go which really fucking hurt, or not being able to help it and having to deal w the aftermath. and of course shed get mad at me for that too. gross and frustrating and i really hated her

.... but yea. i think the poverty and things being normalized in the balkans and children being more vulnerable are connected. like to an extent its an education and poverty issue bc not only is it normalized in society but many ppl have no idea what the signs of sa on a kid are, so they dont know what to look out for even if they cared, and they're not educated on ,, basic child psychology. or theyre so overworked they dont have the time, or they emigrate to another country to work and leave their kids with extended family who also dont know.... even the huge trafficking issue we have. so much of that has to do w poverty and desperation and taking advantage of vulnerable poor kids and teens. even the teen pregnancy and high infant mortality rate we have,, lack of education, poverty, and the normalization of adult men sleeping w teenage girls.....most of the women in my family think 12-14 year old girls can consent to adult men its absolutely fucking wack, but i guess considering we had child marriages and bridal kidnappings barely any time ago, thats bound to b the case........ youre right. what you went through and what i went through could have absolutely been preventable if things werent so overcrowded and there was proper supervision and facilities and education around this sort of stuff

....

im sorry the adults near you failed to protect you, and im sorry your family failed to protect you. youre totally right to be angry and pissed off, i get why u blame them and hate them. it was indeed their responsability, and all they did was minimize and diminish your pain... im glad to hear your mother stuck up for you though... it really is painful. so many balkan adults seem to think they can do basically anything they want to children and it wont matter - like theyre some sort of toys or things or property idk - this idea that they're too young or its not that bad is so stupid when infact children are so much more impacted by things than adults are. you deserved better than them. and on the flip side it just. sucks to hear them defend this sort of behavior. i remember id complain abt boys being sex pests but it was always dismissed as Me not being nice to them or some stupid bullshit abt how thats how they show affection or theyre just stupid or theyre just cute or whatever, ive heard it all. it was maddening. in elementary school we had this boy in our class who was particularly bad. i think he must have been watching pornography already. hed make the grossest sexual comments twoards us, hed grope us, etc. i think it took like two bloody years for him to finally be switched out of the classroom, noone rly cared for the longest time and kept making excuses until finally my friends mom had enough .... it really is insane to think of the sheer amount of shit thats been normalized in the balkans. treating your kids like property, beating them, insulting them, sexualizing or groping or molesting them, letting other kids do that to them, letting adult men have relations w teenage girls??? - and if you speak out against any of it, youre in the wrong. seven fucking hells, for gods sake i keep just sitting around wondering what the hell is wrong with us

.. also thats also always a thought that drove me insane. i cant imagine having a child and finding out she went through the things i did. it already freaks me out to b around little kids bc i always just remember what i went through and hope to god theyre ok and safe... i think i would actually lose it and start killing. i have no damn idea how so many others can just b so careless abt a childs pain

and also.. you dont. have to forgive him... i think you have to forgive yourself, you know? even in this message - you didnt have the brains to protect yourself.. girl, you didnt need to have the brains to protect yourself, you didnt fail at protecting yourself and that's why this happened.... its not your fault. you were five for gods sake, dont put that on yourself please <3 ....personally ive never liked when therapists say shit like that. you and i have been molested and yet we havent molested any kids, so whats their fucking excuse, huh? for all the shit ive been through ive never taken it out on anyone like that, so whats theyre excuse? there isnt one.... and especially the shit w reminding you afterwords is just so cruel, its outright sadistic... i know what you mean abt recalling it and losing faith in humanity, its hard not to when youve seen some of its worst and cruelest and sickest sides.... it always makes me lose faith when its in partical kids being.. borderline fucking evil, like this shit, or the increse in boys raping younger girls. this species has an inclination twoards sadism and cruelty, and particularly men and boys seem to. its bone chilling and vile. but. but.... for all of the cruelty and depravity of humankind, there has most certainly been a moving level of empathy, care, and beauty, and i do think... most ppl.. want to be good and strive to b good. i think most people are born good idk

.... but many of us sure as fuck have seen a lot of the bad. i know it only helps so much to hear, because i know the skin crawling disgust that all this breeds. it feels like being fucking cursed or banded or marked or diseased or something, like something is just instrinsically wrong and unclean with you... i never feel like ill be some sort of near normal either. never have been and never will be - but i try to just live with that.. it is what it is. but.. youre no more disgusting, or gross, or dirty or pathetic than i am,.. you know? youre not. those things can only be said abt those who did this to you. im sorry it all turned out like this, but.. idk. im glad that it sounds like you're away from your family. i hope youre safe and in a better place where you can heal from all this. sorry i kinda rambeled on, but im sending you hugs and may some peace and rest from all this come your way soon <3

#also. i totally get wanting to b ugly #i did the same thing too. id wear loose clothes and not cut my hair or wear it weird and not shave and id get bruises and id cut and starve #myself. i didn't want to be attractive. i wanted to look monstrous and undesirable. i always got shit for it too #..... fuked up to grow up w beauty being such an important and prised thing that when u dont got it youre treated as lesser

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gayspock · 2 years

Text

i didnt intend to make a post for every ep its just occurring right now

okay so i'll keep this in in one poost soim not spamming a lot but

OKAY. just started the way we werent and im excited about this one. aeryn and pilot is my favourite dynamic BY FAR!!! :D

not 2 mention.... i also do like theyre still bringing up aeryn's background. bc, you know, they did all kinda like... not forget... but they didnt rlly all go through the whole "forgiveness" process fully, either..

and heres the thing. HERES why i was always nervous about aeryn in the beginning, as a character. redemption arcs... god, especially from a current perspective, in particular with respect to modern "fandom culture" (ack!) its like... obviouslyyyy, that whole journey (and i say that so vaguely, i know) in of itself is tenuous- it takes the right balance, and it takes care to really perfect it BUT also its just exacerbated by the recent trends and behaviours... and it makes me itch. sigh.

and im GLAD here, you know, that theyre bringing this up. that chiana herself said- so what did you think she was doing? and im glad. i really am glad theyre bringing it up. bc... she was a soldier in a fascist regime... and she did horrible fucking things. we are now going to ADDRESS that. and i think the mistake - or at least, not the mistake, but the way people interpet - with other characters im thinking of is like... sometimes we never see, or have the shitty things theyve done said explicitly. and its just sort of left... vaguely open to interpetation.

and its like. im literally not trying to bring trek up all the time but sorryy it keeps happening. but again like with freaking- garak, yeah? i dont recall, or if its always left ambiguous, but we dont get a LOT of detail on his role in the occupation but ehrm. he was a fucking agent in the obsidian order - when cardassia occupied bajor. when they attempted genocide, enforced labor camps and slavery and all the repugnant things that occured tangential to that (the comfort women..god). and its like... yeah no... you cant sugarcoat it yeah?

but some ppl- are so WEIRD about it, like try to not address it and just skirt past it when its like... bewildering. because thats part of his fucking character. but they like- again its sugarcoatingggg man, and its so fucking ODD that you'd do that or try to deny it or like. take it out of his character. like between the ways they characterise others - like, ive seen people for REAL fanonise kira to be some weird, anti-cardie bigot who'd say slurs at the poor garak when ... YOU REALISE? SHE WAS IN A LABOR CAMP, YEAH? LIKE- SHE WAS LITERALLY ENSLAVED, and hes not some incidental cardassian but . LITERALLY. WAS A VERY POWERFUL PERSON, HIGH UP IN THE GOVERNMENT. and yeah thatsfine- whatever, you can think whatever of his character- but its so weird when people twist it so that like... they minimise the shit he did, or refuse to really contextualise it.

and again thats no fault of the shows- but its an example of what i mean by like. absolutely bewildering reactions and AGAIN. i think thats a wider conversation- but i mean thats like... part of an ongoing culture right now wrt everything as a whole, but haha.letsnot get into that i'll have a 3am meltdown.

BUT LIKE. what im trying to say here. IM GLAD, HERE, WE LIKE.. WE ARE NOW GETTING THE OPPORTUNITY TO SIT THERE AND ADDRESS THE SHIT AERYN DID.

because like i also said its like...literally its like the whole fucking premise of her character. like garak's was a fundamental part of him its like. YEAH MAN. WE BETTER FUCKING EXPLORE IT.

and also like- i dont know. conversations of redemption/forgiveness- theyre all so messy and im not fucking unspoooling them in a prelude to a farscape thoughts in a tumblr post. LOL. but like- first of all. we have to address them properly if we're going to unpack them. and REALLY address them...

and second of all, you know- not to dredge up other shit... but kinda like. yknow. more generally... THIS HAS JSUTBEEN ON MY MIND LATELY. SORRY THIS IS ALL IN A FUCKING FARAFP0SJ[SGD Titsfine . whos reading this. hi. hello. anyways i dont know- you know its just been irritating me, lately. when you bring something up, something from the past, and someone's like "by GOD why cant you just FORGIVE MOVE ON" and its like respectfully.... forgive but dont forget you know lik.e..

no matter what you do after the fact, when you've done something- especially something fucking. wrong - you've done it forever and its like. i dont know im just frustrated. i think its mostly with respect to fucking messy sloppy ass discourse everywhere but its like. yep. you can do better and be better and it wont define-define you. but like here in aeryns case..... a pilot still fucking died. and her actions have horrible fucking consequences. and it isnt insane to bring that back up, or for her to continuously face appropriate consequences bc of that....

& its always so unfair to like... just tell victims 2 forget sth you know. and to never ever bring it up. when its like respectfully it SHOULD be brought up.... and wrt to whoever "did something wrong" (i say sooo vaguely bc the multitude of crap, man...) i feel like. becoming a better person SHOULD be coping with who you are and what you did rather than freaking burying it. and like- hell, bringing something up... it is not even always a fucking Attack on you as a person, bc its not always about you, but again. with respect to situations wherein ppl are hurt, and there are victims they have every right to express that hurt ......

AND ITS LIKE YES. SOMETIMES it can create a cycle of pain- but to hurt others, and then demand them to be okaywiththat and not give them the fucking time .. .... but god thats getting so far away from everything now but its nott at allll

BC ITS REAAAL HERE LIKEEE . fuck yeah man. all of them were fucking tortured horrifically by peacekeepers. they have a RIGHT to be upset.... & to have the fucking blessings to not have to forgive aeryn and to STEAM instead ....!!! & YAH. forgiveness and allthat- but like godd, here, it would nottttt be their fault at ALLLLL if they did not let aeryn off the hook for some of this shit... i mean that ! [puts my FOOT down] and SOOOOO hsould everyone else in this hip be allowed to steam at fucking half the crap thats occurred...

EVEN WHEN! aeryn HERSELF is unpacking the fucking. horrifying trauma of her own with respect to being a peacekeeper-of what she was forced to do... BC LIKE FOR SURE . SITUATIONSARE SO fucking messy and unfair and complicated and its horrible she went through that but she DID still choose and DID still actively do . terrible fucking things and those two can bethe same and she has to learn to unwind them both herself... AND OMG.........

also this is going 2 be so

i said all that

actual more direct htought about the ep now: i like flashback eps but execution like this can be so clunky lol SORRYY Omg. meaan cruel harsh booooo. SORRY its just the cutting between? ITS FINE! its functional and its worth it for flashback stuff. but ough. sorry its just soooo much better when flashbacks are more organically woven into the script rather than like... characters in the show quite literally calling one up. LOL.

and G-

CRAIS SORRY CRAIS JUST REAPPEARED AGAIN I DIDNT EVEN TOUCH ON HIM UP ABOVE. BUT YEAH. this is also why i fucking wanted him to be off with aeryn in this season because hes such a good fucking parallel

AND THIS IS ALL ASSUMPTION. SORRY IM GOING SOO OFF TOPIC FROM THE EPISODE. heaven knows maybe hes a right lad by the end of the show. but i think- like i said.. such a good parallel. bc he and aeryn could so, so, so brilliantly mirror each other in terms of "redemption" arc, wherein aeryn grows and chooses to be a better person and he moves away from the peacekeepers but still is so terribly self-concerned rather than self-reflective andyehaANYWAYS. SORRY. BACK

HAND ON

HEY TUMBLR. END IT.

BACK TO THE EP AMYBE I

this is such a fucking, SORRYYY TONAL SHIFT but ben browder has the shatner problem where hes like so generic in the face hes both one guy averaged out over so many guys but also all those other guys at once

also god. crichtons little smize at "lovers". COME ON MAN. but i also- thats an angle i didnt expect actually.... whichdoes. yeah shit . thats a whole other fucking angle on this i guess and fc-

OKAY. PILOT AND AERYN CONFRONTATION AND LIKE FOR REAL THAT WHOLE... "ITS HARD FOR BOTH OF US" "IT WASNT ME ON THAT RECORDING" <- so. TRUE is the thing

ALSO THE PILOT FUCKING PUPPET IS SO GOODS RORY I HAVENT SAID IT IN EPISODESSS AND EPISODESSSSSS but it for real is the fucking emotion they manage with it. i cant imagine mannnn

alsonow again ir epeat what i saidlike. i thinkits horrible and i know pilot will forgive her and thats also fine. like i of course wouldnt like. WANT him to rejectthat like- i presume, by the end, he chooses to accept her despite this but god fucking hell like... AGAIN serioussss .... complicit in a bodily violation like that and trauma and ongoing constant pain PILTO. MY FUCKING. BELOVDED

I LVEO PILOT And aeryn... i lvoe EVERYBADY

and as i said i actually i want to also say. im not always a fan of like.... random love interests introduce.d one GREAT example would be alex from that one episode- like she was... utterly pointless. i get they wanted to make her a lover, to parallel what zhaan did, but it just really. eh. it was so nothing

but here its like.. the way her relationship with this peaceekeeper is in of itself. a whole OTHER moral issue- concerning his own, how he is complicit in all of this and abiding, but also criitica and not saying anything AS WELL AS HOW. he's a mirror to crichton asking aeryn to choose differently and YEAH like its bare minimum shit but itslike i love that there is more intention behind that choice than just. random freaking affair

ALSO OKAY SORYR BUTHELP

SAME.PILOT I WILL KILLUS ALL TO. FINE. SURE.

PILTO

SEE FUCKINGCHRIST ALIVE ..........

aeryn and pilot ... best fucking dynamicin this hsow. i'll kill you. i i#

"we've come a long way since then pilot and we've got a long way to go; take the journey with me" SIGTP I TNEWOWW [SCREAMING AND SBBING[

NOBODY LOOK AT ME. I'LL KILL YOU ALL.

OKAYITS SOOO ALTE NOW BUT LIKE GOD. GOD FOR REAL man like- again eveyrhting i said at the beginning wrt aeryn. LITERALLY. ITS IMPORTANT THAT WE FUCKING DO THIS, SWEAR DOWN MAN, bc only rhen can we appreciate the growht and OMG.. GODDDD

shut up...

THE WAY I WAS SOLUKEWARM ON EPS 1,2 AND 3 OF S2 BUT4 AND 5 .... SLAAAYYY!!!!!

okay i catnt wrap this up proper im going to bed its fine . w

#Egg.txt #farscape liveblog

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snow-and-saltea · 1 year

Text

I posted 8,493 times in 2022

That's 5,858 more posts than 2021! (this is not an improvement!! but its okay!)

25 posts created (0%)

i dont even make original posts bc i am too opinionated and i cant be bothered to say it to people i dont already talk to it about (aka not gonna talk about it to ppl i dont care about sorry FJSKFJS)

8,468 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@paleasamoon (🤠🐢!!!!)

@fflewddurfflam7 (🦊🐢!!!!)

@thecookiemonster77 (🍪🐢!!!)

@a-shout-to-the-void

@obert-scobert

I tagged 3,811 of my posts in 2022

#hey cookie - 598 posts (HI COOKIE 💛💛💛💛💛🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢💛💛💛🐢🐢🐢🐢 certified cookieposting on main!!!!!!!!! tagging each other in cats and poetry, so true)

#vid - 388 posts

#cats are valid - 354 posts (real... im kinda embarrassed w my cat tag and i wanna change it to smth else but the archival consequences.... the horrors....)

#arts and smarts - 325 posts (fucken love art babey!!!!!!)

#fave - 157 posts

#vyn richter - 138 posts (cant believe i vynpost so much.... need 2 fix that next year)

#tex - 126 posts (HI TEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT W MY RAMBLING IN THE TAGS ASS JFAKSLJFAKSGJKLASG)

#genshin impact - 117 posts

#i create as i speak - 116 posts

#*bookmark - 106 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#im happy he made it and that everyone was cheering for him and one of them was ready to help him out dghjgjhjhk that's so cute 🤧🤧🤧🤧

from this vid i rb'd!!! it didn't keep the caps though!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

went a little insane while showering today thinking of miss medea and psyche from hit webtoon series your throne

8 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

for the chara ask.. rosa 👀? and i also cannot resist putting marius in here too

rosa, tot:

literally where do i even start. i love her so much that she's legit like, one of my fave fictional female charas!!! i love how sensible and logical she is, and how kind and sensitive she is too. those two sounds like opposites of each other but she balances having both traits so well. i just think she is such a great otome protagonist and if any company wants to try and write a good "self insertable" protag who is both convincing and cute they should look to her. loml 🧎

marius von hagen

he's a funny funky guy!!! he's my blorbo in law cus both you and angel (my other friend) like him. so i kind of get appreciation through osmosis. tbh i dont have a lot to say about him bc i think his character as a standalone is simple, but when he's in a group setting? i think that shines the most. i actually talked w angel a bit about this but we were discussing how vyn is afraid of losing rosa emotionally while marius is afraid of losing rosa physically. i read his personal card where he gets a panic attack after rosa gets kidnapped and that ending was literally..... the most poetic shit i've ever read. LIKE. his personal story and card just super appeals to the poet / artist in me bc the twist in words, the symbolism, the rose and the snake that takes turns to guard each other.... im screaming and wailing and throwing up. vyn could NEVER tbh, he's very deliberate and his acts of affection still has an underlying feeling of wanting to impress rosa at all times and to show his heart to her, but w marirosa it literally feels like they're romantic soulmates bc of the writing. does that make sense? like it feels so organic and romantic in a way vyn's measured actions and words can't replicate. i went feral at this part

9 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

for the character asks vyn diluc lumine and kaeya!!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE thank you for giving me the chance to talk about my blorbos!!!

vyn richter:

yeah i bolded the who? one don't worry about it!! /j anyways yeah i Like this man a normal amount its not like ive written sm threads on him already yeah. i'm completely normal

except i'm NOT

i started out thinking my fave would be artem cus vyn seemed too pretentious for me at first and i still have trauma from the last time i liked a white haired and golden eyed guy in otome cus that bitch disappointed me so much i literally can't even look at him without going >:T

he's such a cool character to me, i love how contradictory he is while being completely consistent characterization wise. by contradictory i don't mean that he doesn't say what he mean or doesn't mean what he says, but the way he views himself vs how he views rosa vs how he views other people (derogatory) is quite ironic. i love how he loves rosa because she's beautiful both inside and out, in the sense that she is straight laced, honest and not mired with existential or moral complexities that stop her from being kind, realistic and faithful to her values. (in fact, when facing those moral complexities, her true character shines more because of the way she isn't stagnated by indecision or analysis-paralysis. but that's another talk for another day i could literally go on and on about her)

i like it a lot because he's both a bit of rosa in him and a bit of the cynical jadedness he dislikes in other people. as a doctor, he wants to cure his patients, and he secretly harbours some hope, at the back of his mind, that people are better than he thinks they are, that when presented the opportunity for change and growth they'll choose it— which is why i think he "tests'" rosa in his stories so much. cus he wants to see a diff outcome come from her!! to him, i feel like there's a bit of him idealism projected onto her, smth like saying: "i tried and failed, but i want to see how you do it, and what new thing you'll show me with your way of doing things." in ideals and visions, he relates to rosa.

however, in many ssr stories, and even one sr (the iconic false tears story) he shows the pettiest and most spiteful parts of himself that he's tried to keep hidden from rosa, where he indulges his egocentric beliefs that makes him feel like the things he's doing are justified, as long as the end goal is a positive net of "justice" in the world. he also sometimes shows how incredibly judgemental and harsh he can be, because he always thinks he knows better and is more objective / morally superior than other people he dislikes. in practice and methodology, he relates to the people he dislikes. it's like a mirror that shows the ugliest parts of himself. if he dislikes them like any other normal person would dislike an asshole and then move on with their life, why would that be such a big psychological trigger for him? it clearly means more to him than he tries to hide, so he tries to make a clear line separating his own "cruelty" and other people's "cruelty" and how he's better than them cus he had the right intentions in mind.

(that's not how it works btw babygirl. but issokay ur kinda fucked up i'd like to put u under a microscope)

i like how he slowly comes to realise that contradiction, too. not verbally said, but i interpret his recent growth in stories as someone who knows he's "ugly" inside and filled contempt for everyone—although sometimes he dresses his actions in a more gentlemanly or "fair" so that it's still TECHNICALLY the right thing to do even if the way he did it was unethical. at first their relationship progression was "i want her to see the most impressive parts of me" > "i want her to rely on and be influenced by me" > "i want her to know my feelings but only the ones that are peer reviewed to be palatable" > "i want her to see me for who i am and accept me, even if i can't accept the entire truth of myself". and i think that fuckign ROCKS

concluding statement: if the road to hell was paved with good intentions vyn is building a freeway. but rosa is changing his lanes!!! she changed my lanes too if u know what i mean wink wink nudge nudge

anyways yeah im mentally sound and in perfect health about vynrosa why do you ask

diluc ragnvindr:

i like him!!! iirc he was my second 5* after jean? and then i used him as a dps for a while! i wish they gave him fluffier or longer hair. i think in game diluc doesn't really do enough justice to his characterization or lore bc i feel like he looks a bit "bland" in story execution compared to the other charas. oh well, virtues and vices of being an early game chara! i like him best when he's in big brother mode and i cannot thank fanartists enough who portray him being a good big bro to the kids like klee, diona, bennett, fischl and razor. i love it!!!

lumine:

she's so goddamn FUNNY and cute?????? i like the progression of her character and her growing into her own personality in the recent quests, i think they wrote it really well. have you listened to her voice lines where she talks w paimon? they show sm of her personality and she's just so... witty and dry and sarcastic but her voice is so soft that it makes u double-back and go, "sorry, run that by me again?" i love her sm. although, i don't really interact w the fandom a lot because they're very noisy in hating her for some reason. and it gets tiring to hear TwT i get my lumine food from anng rt'ing stuff on twt or on tumblr! consuming fandom the exact way it was intended: i only see what my friends will share w me!!!

kaeya alberich:

another case of sadly being an early game chara so his execution was a bit sloppy TwT his lore is so funkin cool and his personal story and how he got his vision was, imo, the coolest and most emotionally impactful out of everyone else? ofc he and shenhe shares similar patterns in their history and how they were treated, but i think it hits harder for me bc like. GOD. overridden by guilt for the death of diluc's dad, he confronts him and tells him the truth of who he is. and at the emotional height of his life where diluc turns to fight him, he's given a vision if only to protect himself and his heart so that he can still go on and fulfill whatever "destiny" his dad had marked out for him, if he chooses that as his right.

i still think its meaningful bc even in game diluc never shows any signs that he genuinely, truthfully, dislikes kaeya. so while they still have this unspoken history between them that neither of them seem willing to talk about, there's a nostalgic and sad feeling of people who drifted apart brushing by each other time and again, and silently forgiving the other but not making it known at all. i can't find it rn but there's sm diluc and kaeya comics where its all about sibling hurt / comfort and reconciliation and making it known that they care about each other verbally, instead of accepting it as is in actions, bc they're hesitant to break the ice. GOD

14 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

saw this post and immediately my purpose in life for the next 37 minutes was crystal clear to me

couldn't have done this without my fellow vyn and marius dunker, @00uroboros

23 notes - Posted August 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

fuckign losing it rn

38 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Yee Haw! thats it babey!!!

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #yuu rambles #wahahahaha!!! i dont know how to make this less annoying other than a cut sorry

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waitimcomingtoo · 2 years

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hi its 🧚‍♀️ anon here, so i just wanted to say smth here just bc i don't really know where else to say this or anyone to confide to, im sorry if this is so long

so i've been struggling with my sexuality for quite awhile, for the longest time i have thought that i was straight, just bc i have always been attracted to guys and brought up in a really straight family. growing up i have crushes on like a few female characters and such but due lgbtq+ not being a subject that was discussed a lot i didn't really think much of it. i only discover all about lgbtq+ when i got into marvel which was in 2018, but honestly i only really really educated myself when lockdown happened. for the past two years i didnt really talk much with my irl friends and mostly just interacted w my online friends but for a year ish now i've been thinking a lot about my sexuality and how i might like women and want to date them, but at the same time not really?? like idk if its my inner homophobia or im just straight. the fact that i've never been in any form of romantic relationship doesnt help either, literally never kissed or date anyone or even hold hands...i always wanted to experience it but from the few occasions i found out ppl like me i just felt grossed out and immediately dislike the guy? like its all so so confusing, the label that i felt quite nicely that might fit me rn biromantic demisexual but i haven't really come out to anyone yet except for 2 friends, one queer one straight. im so scared to even label myself bc i dont want to act as if im gay passing or suddenly label myself as straight and feed on the stereotype where being gay can be cured... i know i dont need to label myself or anything but it feels as if a part of me is missing.. but if i do came out i doubt i will anyway, my sister is open and out to me but i dont really feel safe coming out to her, my real life friends are so so religious and not really that open with lgbtq+, my family is a bit weird bc my cousins are supportive ig but they're not active supporters, my parents im not sure bc sometimes they act as if they're supportive but sometimes they dont so i honestly am not sure anymore this whole thing is so confusing and i just feel alone most of the time

wow lots to unpack here. My advice to you is not to rush into labeling yourself. That will only confuse you more and make you feel like you have to confine to the label. You don’t have to decide right now if you want to date girls or not. Sometimes, the only way you can find out is personal experience. I didn’t know I didn’t want to date boys until I was literally dating a boy. And unfortunately, I had to hurt him in the process of figuring myself out. Try not to do that lol. Try talking to women and seeing if you could actually imagine yourself dating a woman. It’s very different to want to actually be in a relationship with a girl versus just liking the idea of it. This process of figuring yourself out could take years and that is okay!! There is no rush. Don’t care about what other people think about this. It’s your journey and it’s all about you 💖

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