#But they were dating someone at the time- so in my gay lil fantasy it all happened for a reason so we’d reconnect when we’re both single

[littlebirdy0301]

Ayyyy a few weeks ago I matched & chatted with an old childhood friend on bumble & they said we should hang out when I was free, but my schedule was quite busy- so a few days ago I was like “hey I have way more free time coming up if you still wanted to!” & they didn’t respond so I figured That Was All to that story. But!!! They messaged back today inviting me on a beach day hang!!!

#I’m hyped!! #When they didn’t respond at first I figured either it was one of those things where the person says you should make plans & doesn’t mean it #Or that they weren’t able to answer when they saw it and ended up forgetting. never to be heard from again. as sometimes happens lol #But yay!!! They’re such a cool person!! I would love to reconnect!!!!!! #Good vibes!! #And like. If we reconnect and my old crush on them comes back then like idk man don’t worry about it :) #Cause I’m like 90% sure I had feelings for them back before I had the self awareness & emotional intellect to realize I had queer feelings #So gosh darn it just let me imagine my cute lil full circle fantasy. I ain’t hurting anyone #Cause they’re queer too and a few years back randomly reached out to me and we casually came out to eachother & talked about queerness #But our plans that we made to hang out fell through and we lost touch again #But they were dating someone at the time- so in my gay lil fantasy it all happened for a reason so we’d reconnect when we’re both single #And I’m totally chill if we just reconnect as friends because they’re super cool and would be a fantastic friend to keep #But for now I’m allowing myself to have a lil daydream now & again. For self care reasons :)

[yoooooxd]

the single bitch pressure

Growing up and developing those “feelings” and shit I started yearning for a boys touch, but not just a touch, no, I jumped off the wagon...I wanted to “FALL IN LOVE”, I wanted to be in a serious relationship before I had my first kiss, i must also remind myself that at that time being gay wasn’t as accepted as it is now, this was pre-Kevin mfkin abstract, pre-Lil Nas x, pre-Tyler, pre-Frank, basically pre-anyone to make being gay look good/cool, it was also before that corny ass fantasy like movie that i probably would have eaten up I love Simon....which I still cant believe came from a hetero...typical...I guess, anyways it was hard, it was hard to find a boy i felt deeply about and it was harder meeting one, the pressure grew and so did the loneliness besides dealing with that, i was also going threw a lot as a kid, and the romantic idea of a boy became a prince which then became a hero....which he never came......goodness the grief..., I ended up being my own hero which didn’t save myself just caused a lot of more trauma for myself through a lot self sabotage ooooh yeah so much fun ;)  I’m really getting side tracked... the pressure of find a partner grew and now I was living with a fantasy of a man I’d never meet, later on my journey of self destruction, I found my self being asked by friends: why I didn’t have a partner? my beauty was still there and I was a bit of a looker, described as cute by people who would meet me so it was hard for me to attract someone, its just what people didn’t know was that, I was trying to escape some really heavy stuff as young adult, I didn’t have to make for “boys” and to add to that, most of them no all of them identified as straight...they had a certain level of luxury when it came to dating, they didnt could grasp how hard it was to meet someone, cause quite frankly its so much easier for those breeders to pair up and find someone, I was looking but...at what? as a kid it seemed impossible and it wasn’t as accessible, the constant disappointment I faced....ugh brutal and then to be reminded of it...disgusting. but it started getting to me, constantly being asked: where is he? why dont you have one? i even got asked if i liked dogs and is that the reason why i was single.......like come on are you fucking kidding first of all .....ew GROSS second of all how does someones mind process that like ew? this pressure forced me to get into my first relationship....Jefferey and may i say....I’m sorry. I should’ve told your ass(Im talking as if Jefferey is reading this) “no i don’t wanna go out with you, the fact that you want me to ask you out cause your in between being a hoe and being with me is dumb ass hell” but I didnt, I wanted the questions to stop, i wanted to stop feeling lonely, i wanted something to feel ”right” or even “normal” I think most importantly I wanted someone to accept and love me in a point of my life, i was really fucking sad. I didnt have family, friends were there but to an extent..... I wanted to be saved......instead....things just became more chaotic....... DONT LET THE PRESSURE OF BEING A SINGLE BITCH GET TO YOU....FOCUS ON YOURSELF....EVANTUALLY ,,,,THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE...OR AT LEAST......i hope.

#Being gay and lonely is hard

[i-did]

hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go: 

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight. 

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc. 

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn. 

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair. 

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves. 

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them. 

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn. 

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums. 

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

 but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one. 

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation. 

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so. 

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene. 

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read. 

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t. 

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive. 

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol. 

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else. 

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing. 

#aftg #ask #fandom psychology #fandom culture #osha violation #mailob

[bronanlynch]

bi-ish weekly update

time sure passes huh. meant to do one last week but I wrote like 5000 words on Wednesday instead, and I’m not really sure what happened yesterday but maybe Thursday is my new day for these

listening: two for the price of one this week since I’m excited about both of them. first of all, obviously, is the Sangfielle theme by Jack de Quidt because it’s time for a new season of Friends at the Table. I love their description of this season’s music

the other thing I’ve been listening to is the new album from one of my fave bands, You’re Welcome from A Day to Remember. this is by far not the most musically interesting or complex song on the album but it is about, as far as I can tell, a bad breakup with a vampire and I love it for that just on principle, but also it’s fun! a fun pop punk-esque bop about breaking up with a vampire!

reading: since last time when I talked about many romance novels I was reading, I mostly just read more romance novels because sometimes that is all the brain can handle. shout out to KJ Charles for writing a historical romance with a nonbinary main characters, you really do love to see it. I appreciate that she puts trans characters in her books, and I hope that someday she writes one with a trans man as a main character, because that truly would be a book targeted directly at me.

I’ve also been reading the Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator series by Alexis Hall (author of Affair of the Mysterious Letter, a weird fantasy queer Sherlock Holmes retelling that absolutely fucking slaps, highly recommend).

this is his author bio from the Kate Kane books, which really just sets the tone and also. what a fucking life goal

anyway. series starts with Iron & Velvet which is currently on sale, which is why I bought it, and it also fucking slaps. I’m like halfway through the last book right now but they have all been good and fun. Kate is like. archetypal disaster p.i. but done in an interesting way (i.e. the narrative actually addresses the depression and the alcoholism in a way that I personally really appreciated), and also pretty much every woman in the ~supernatural community she encounters is an ex or someone she will flirt/hook up with at some point, which is an accurate representation of every irl queer space I’ve ever been part of. she dates a vampire for a while. hot morally questionable vampire lady. the vampire power structure names positions after tarot cards it’s very fun and sexy and tailored specifically toward my interests. also she lives in the same part of London as my ex-girlfriend so it’s. fun to recognize place names and be like. oh I went there on a date once huh

watching: started watching Turn A Gundam because a twitter friend recommended it as being fun and also very different then any other Gundam series and they were right on both counts. the premise of it is ‘what if a bunch of people went to live on the moon and some people stayed on earth, the moon people got real into super advanced technology and the earth people are larping the 19th century, and now the moon people want to come back’ so there’s a fun mix of visual styles. would love to see serious analytical writing on this show by someone more versed in discussing indigeneity/colonialism than me though because there are things that I’m a little bit hmmm at but I don’t know enough to be able to explain why or know if that’s the right response to have

don’t know what’s up with the dude on the left’s sunglasses but my friend has promised me the fashion choices only get weirder

I know about the ‘wow cool robots’ meme but some of the mech designs are very cool and visually distinct both from each other and from the standard blocky humanoid shape that lots of mechs are, so that’s fun to see. and they’re all different sizes too, which for me at least makes it easier to get a sense of the scale of the conflict/threat. when they’re all the same size it’s easy for me to forget they’re like 40 feet tall but when some of them are 40 feet and some of them are like 10 feet it’s a lot easier to be like. oh. oh shit. these are big and destructive and scary as hell

there are mini versions of this big mech that are like. the size of one of its feet

also there’s some fun stuff about how the way society relates to a mech and what a mech is used for can change over time, which is part of what is maybe inspiring me to get back into trying to write games, because between Turn A and the fic I was writing about Integrity Friendsatthetable I was like. hey what if a hack of The Ground Itself by Everest Pipkin, a game about a place changing over time, except instead of a place it’s a mech

playing: finished Knife of Dunwall finally! please clap! I was kinda half-expecting not to keep to low chaos in the last mission because there are so many overseers but I did it! I did do a bunch of accidentally getting into fights, killing a bunch of people, and then reloading an earlier save so I could go back and not kill those people but it’s fine. anyway. fun game, fun level once I got the hang of it, and I do feel like I accomplished something a lil bit difficult so that’s a nice feeling. definitely harder than the main game. also, very sad about Billie and gay for Delilah. she shows up just to threaten you and then disappears again, and I think that’s pretty hot of her. also love the narrative parallels of having the choice to spare Billie and then the game ending with Corvo about to decide whether to spare Daud or not. I just think that’s neat

making: made some Thai green curry last week from this recipe, which was tasty and not too hard to make, but has just enough specialty ingredients to make it a lil bit too expensive to make too often. our grocery store only ever has lemongrass when we’re looking for things that look kinda like lemongrass but aren’t, and didn’t have any when we need it so we just used extra lemongrass paste and lime juice for the lemongrass, and for the kaffir lime leaves, which we were also supposed to substitute with lemongrass but. it’s fine it was still tasty

writing: a lot somehow, although it’s been over two weeks since last time I did one of these so I guess that makes sense. I wrote a couple of things for 15 Days of Friends at the Table, including Broun, Milli, and Thisbe cottagecore roommates, Clem and Gucci bickering/flirting, and an extended dream sequence that makes me very sad about Integrity (I’m very proud of the last one, I know it has a very small target audience because Sokrates/Integrity is very much a rarepair in an already small fandom, there are 6 works in the tag, 4 of them are by me, 2 of them are by the same other person, and one of those is a gift for me so. it’s mostly just me, but I think I wrote something pretty good)

also meant to write more for Persona 5 Girls Week, although so far I’ve only written one thing, a quick fluff fic which for once requires very little knowledge of the source material. meant to write something for today’s prompt but instead I had two job interviews and then cooked dinner for my household so that probably will not happen and I will probably watch more Gundam instead

#dreaming.txt #tuesday no problem extended universe #contains pictures of food below the readmore

[hyperfixationtimego]

the three wingmen of thh; Leon (chaotic), Kyoto (lawful), and Hina (neutral)

Kyoto was 100% the reason Celeste is dating Junko, it’s canon now. She is extremely involved in seating for extracurricular activities (i.e. the tea parties), and commonly puts them together. She finds putting Taka and Mondo apart...helps them?? She has no idea why but if they’re seated far from each other, they are immediately cuddling once they leave the room.

Grey-hair and Blue-hair girls are dating, no I do not take criticism (grey hair has braids I think and protects a mob guy?? and blue hair is the mastermind ig, she has black glasses apparently) - queer eye anon

oh my god yes???

Leon and Chihiro were some very powerful masterminds behind ishimondo ngl 👀 like chihiro’s brainpower combined with kuwata’s sheer strength of will?? UNSTOPPABLE those gay bitches never stood a CHANCE

although to be fair, most of their plans DID involve using a digital lock and/or utilizing alter ego to somehow force them into an empty room and keep them locked in there until they finally confessed 💛

Leon ALSO wingmans for sayaka because they’re besties who hate each other ❤️ he’s constantly cracking jokes with her about how she should just text Mukuro that she wants to fuck, or jokingly advises her to use raunchy pick-up lines on Sakura. He’s come very close once or twice to just. Blurting out “HEY MUKURO! SAKURA! SAYAKA’S GOT A HUGE FUCKING CRUSH ON Y-” only to have the idol clamp a hand over his stupid dumbass mouth <3

it’s okay because sayaka absolutely gets her revenge when she has to wingman for him and makoto (the only reason she doesn’t completely fuck up kuwata’s chances and embarrass him is because she’s besties with Makoto, too, and knows the poor guy’s ALSO got it bad. There’s a lot of Sayaka (and literally everyone else too) having to deal with some gross oblivious loveydovey pining from these fucking dorks, so she gets her fill of teasing)

And Hina wingmanning for Sakura???? Bruh okay u have no IDEA how much serotonin platonic sakuraoi gives me simply because????? Them?????? They????? Love???????? I love them???

And basically Hina’s just the right amount of empathy/sympathy and logic!! Her main, go-to piece of advice is “just talk to them!” And - surprise - trusting her on this usually leads to having fun and making good memories with the object(s) of affection !!

She’s such a sweetheart??? And like yes ofc she doesn’t have an answer for everything, because her heart is just a lil bit bigger than her brain sometimes (ok but mood tho like no shame this is both kin and projecting) but she’s trying her best!!! As she always listens to whoever needs her at that moment and gives the best advice she can - which isn’t even limited to romantic situations!!! She’s one of the go-to students for when someone’s having, like, an everyday problem or feeling stressed because she’s so non-judgemental and soothing to be around!!!

It’s Hina appreciation hours 💛

Anyway, Kyoko-

she also (unfortunately) is forced to wingman for Makoto and Leon, which means a lot of listening to naegi ramble on about how cool and nice and interesting and pretty and blah blah blah kuwata is (don’t get Kirigiri wrong, she adores Leon, but a girl can only take so much, y’know?)

and requests for Makoto to simply......TELL LEON are almost ALWAYS refused because nope no way in hell absolutely not and so she’s like great I’m gonna go bang my head against a desk because I seriously cannot take the two of you anymore

eventually she (secretly) goes and talks to Leon, without betraying Makoto’s trust or disclosing any information she feels he would not be comfortable with, does her best to subtly hint at the fact that hey. koto’s got a crush. you should fucking ask him about it before I go completely insane. Leon doesn’t fully get the hint but does go talk to Makoto, which FINALLY prompts some goddamn CONVERSATION about it thank GOD

also sorry sorry not to ramble but I just????? an idea hit me like a gd truck and I need to talk about it because I love???? I love????? I love

sometime after all this, Kyoko gets inadvertently wrapped up in co-wingmanning with Makoto for Komaru and Toko/Jill. Except. Those three have no clue about the fact that there is any wingmanning going on.

so kyoko’s like “why are we doing this”

and makoto’s like “because she’s my sister and she’s in love and I want her to be happy!!!”

“Okay but shouldn’t they work this out on their own”

“Not if I have anything to say about it!!!”

“*Sigh.* Goddamnit.”

And then Leon eventually hears about it, as well, because of course makoto’s gonna talk abt it with his boyfriend, why wouldn’t he, and anyway kuwata’s like OH?? POG??? because he and Toko and he and Jill are friends!!!! So he’s like I’ll totally help omg Fukawa and Syo are gonna STOKED

(Makoto does not comment on the fact that Toko most likely will not, in fact, be stoked by the idea of kuwata meddling in her love life, but does at least advise his dear 0-braincell partner to be careful ❤️)

okay okay sorry I’m a simp for tokomaru and syomaru on main but anyway back to kyoko and seating charts-

YEAH ON GOD???

And poor Kirigiri already has trouble comprehending how social interaction works that this kinda shit just???? Completely breaks her?????

“Why.....do people.....react different.......like I will accommodate for it but.....I do not.....understand......”

does not fucking compute

(Also shhhhh don’t let Korekiyo know that there was something about human behavior Kirigiri didn’t understand because somehow they will materialize from the shadows to go on a softly excited special interest infodump ramble/lecture that lasts hours and hours)

But yeah???? Ironically enough, she’s honestly the only person from her class who’s able to, for the most part, figure out how Celestia’s mind works, and so she’s able to use that to her advantage when setting her up with Junko!!! (The thing with Celeste was that it sort of became a case to Kyoko!! Celeste was so Obviously different in her behavior and mannerisms than everyone else that Kirigiri basically ended up treating learning about her the same way she would treat trying to solve a crime or something similar!!)

For ishimondo she chalks it up to “absence makes the heart grow fonder???” she guesses????? seriously she has No Clue

also she doesn’t pick up on it but they DO give each other pining puppy dog eyes from across the room the whole goddamn time like they’re just [y e a r n]

And OKAY ANON???? HEY ANON????? WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE FUCKING GALAXY BRAIN JUICE???? HELLO???????

I. how is it possible to not know the games and yet,,,,,,,conjure up a concept so incredible????? Pekomugi,,,,,,,,,my g o d

Ok ok ok ok ok hold on hold on lemme gather my thoughts because holy fuck

FIRST OF ALL, Tsumugi is a GIANT nerd, so the thought of having a SWORD GF???? A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A SWORDSMAN???? HOLY FUCK?????? she can live out her wildest samurai anime fantasies,,,,,,,because she quite literally has a swordswoman girlfriend who would protect her with her sword oh my g o d

SECOND OF ALL, Tsumugi also????? fucking loves sitting in on Peko’s training sessions to watch her beautiful incredible wonderful darling partner spar??? and use badass techniques and strategies???? Literally Tsumugi is always blown away??

and she ALWAYS comes and barrels into Peko to give her a gigantic hug and shower her with kisses once training’s over!!!! And Peko doesn’t understand because

“I am hot and sweaty. I am currently very gross, why are you kissing me,”

“No!!! You’re stunning and perfect and charming!!!! You make me swoon!!! Oh, dear knight, hold me in your sweet embrace....”

meanwhile peko’s just like babe pls let me go take a shower

and okay final thing I promise, but....Peko is absolutely astonished by Tsumugi’s cosplay abilities???? Like with a lot of her works, Peko can hardly even believe that that’s her gd girlfriend????? Like sweet JESUS her datemate is damn good at makeup and disguising herself and whatnot

“cosplay is an art and you have perfected it,” like catch tsumugi fuckinf crying

#pekomugi.....anon ur MIND #dragged me down to rarepair hell but Y’know what it’s fine I’ve been here before #hell I’ve made my goddamn home here at this fucking point sndbsndbdbd #queer eye anon #queer eye au (danganronpa) #danganronpa #leon kuwata #Sayaka maizono #chihiro fujisaki #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo owada #ogamikuzono #makoto naegi #aoi asahina #Sakura ogami #sakura oogami #Kyoko kirigiri #Komaru Naegi #toko fukawa #genocide Jill #celestia ludenberg #junko enoshima #peko pekoyama #tsumugi shirogane #makuwata #tokomaru #syomaru #ishimondo #celeshima

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #312

“robert’s got a quick hand  /  he’ll look around the room, he won’t tell you his plan.”

Do you kiss your pets? Yes. Have you thought about whether or not you're gay? I actually have briefly questioned if I'm just purely lesbian due to how incredibly averse to simply seeing penises I am, but considering I'm still perfectly capable of being attracted to everything else, I'm obviously not. It's just this weird disgust I naturally have. Have you ever had gay thoughts for your best friend? Well I dated her, so like- Have you ever had an STD? No. Would you say you are addicted to texting or to the person you are texting? Nah, definitely not. I always enjoy texting Sara, but I'm not addicted to doing so. Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Yes; I still live with my mom, so it'd be very hypocritical not to. Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? Nah. Sexual "talent" just doesn't matter very much to me, and besides, before or after marriage, you discover what you like together. Would it bother you if your bf/gf flirted with someone else? ???????????? yes????????????? Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Oh hell yeah. I honestly really miss doing that with Jason. We were both gamers and would do that frequently. How much does intelligence turn you on? Not like, immensely, but being very smart is definitely attractive. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? That shit's kinda creepy, imo. Then again, it could be smart for your safety, but idk, something about doing that seems invasive and just weird. I feel like you should learn things directly from their mouth. Could you date someone who had children from a previous relationship? I really don't think I could at this age, at least. I need to be more stable and a figure to look up to. I could probably be a stepmom to like, a teenager or something, but I'm not dating anyone with one of those at only 25. I would have to really, REALLY like the person to even consider dating them with a younger kid. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Yeah, go for it. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Yes, definitely. I think waiting too long can make this hard and an awkward change, though; this was the exact situation with Girt. I had a pretty big crush on him my freshman year before Jason, but we were just friends too long. He became my "brother." Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Both are fun. Do you enjoy risk? N O P E. How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Not my jam. Do you meditate? No, but I'm considering trying it thanks to group therapy. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Do you have a problem with racist jokes? Um, fuck yes I do. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? Yeah, like the soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? Lol no, I can't cook. Do you litter? No. Don't even fucking dare to in front of me. Do you have a career plan? Yes. Could you live with someone who was really messy? How messy? And would they listen if I asked them to clean up? Do you have any shameful fantasies? Yes. Is art important to you? Art is absoluely vital for my happiness in life. Do you believe in fate or destiny? Nope; you carve your own path. Have you ever called your friend a slut? Ha, jokingly. It's gone both ways. Doing nothing all day makes you feel...? That's me pretty much every day, and it makes me feel awful by the end of it. Do you shower everyday? No. It's bad for your skin and hair. Is work important to you? It clearly is when you consider how stressed I've been for years trying to find a job I can handle. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No, but I probably will have some things done if/hopefully when I lose the weight I want to. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? My past has proven that not always, no. What I really care about is whether or not they show the intention of getting somewhere, like working on themselves and having plans they're making baby steps towards. If the person is without any motivation to get somewhere in life, no, I can't date them. Could you date someone who does drugs? Absofuckinglutely not. Do you enjoy watching sports? Only dance. Are you a cat or a dog person? Cat, I think, but I love both. Should evolution be taught in schools? Yes, definitely. Separation of church and state, my friend. Are you kinky? I mean I can't say I'm unwilling to try some things that would be considered so, but my sexual experiences so far have been pretty vanilla, and I'm fine with that. Would you do a striptease for your partner? That'd be so fucking awkward lmao. Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? Yeah; again, I don't. It may be problematic if they never wanted to, especially with me being so afraid of driving, but idk. Do you enjoy dancing? If I wasn't so horribly out of shape. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Lol, wow. What year are we in again? Have you ever met someone in person you met online? Only Sara so far, but I do wanna meet a few others! Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones? No. Do you ever read your old surveys? No. They're really just a momentary distraction for me. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Ginga Densetsu Weed was fantastic. I'm now anxiously awaiting Meerkat Manor to come on air again this year!! :') When writing stories, do you have trouble coming up with character names or do they come to you easily? I struggle with coming up with completely original names; I used to be good at it back in the day, now I feel like almost anything I come up with sounds stupid. Real words coming up for OCs that somehow fit them come easy for me, though. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Yes, because some preferred it. Have you ever shoplifted, even just once? What did you take? Nope. Have you ever witnessed someone else shoplifting? Did you say something? I don't recall. Is your hair thick, thin, or somewhere in between? it's thick as hell. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh yes, I loved letting the harmless ones wander over my arms as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? No. What a shocker when you think of Mark, I know, but I've kinda been drifting from enjoying let's plays, especially of random games I don't know or think will be good, so I don't force myself. Have you ever witnessed something burn down? Yes. Diagonal to my childhood house, down the road, there was a huge house fire once. Only the foundation of it is left today. Well, maybe they've rebuilt it, but they sure didn't for a long-ass time. Have you ever won a game of chess? Don't know how to play, so. Have you ever picked strawberries or apples? Strawberries, yes. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? No better than the average joe. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? Three dogs, and my rat Tezzeret. Where on your body did you/would you like to get your first tattoo? I got mine on my right wrist. What’re some movies you love that people wouldn’t expect you to like? The Notebook surprises a lot of people. I adore that movie. Does your shower have a glass screen or a curtain? It's a curtain. What was the last pill you swallowed? I don't remember; I take a lot of meds in the morning. Where’s your dad from? Ohio. Other than yourself, who was the last person that took a picture of you? Whoever took the picture of my sister Misty and me hugging. What are you usually doing if you're up late at night? On the rare occasion I'm up late, I'm probably really into doing something in World of Warcraft at the time. I go through spells. Right now I'm barely playing it at all. What do you get when you go to the movies? Popcorn and a drink, always. Do/did you enjoy living with your parents? Yeah. If you were to write a story right now, what would it be about? I'm not interested in starting a new story. The continuous stories in RP are enough for me. If you were to paint something right now, what would it be? I'm unsure. I have a lot of art ideas I want to do, but idk what I'd do first, and besides, I prefer drawing over painting. Do you believe you have a calling? I don't believe in "callings." I believe in natural talents, but I don't feel there's some supernatural or purposeful tactic to it. If you could sing a song before an audience today, what one would it be? Oh god. If I had a choice, I wouldn't. If I didn't, I'd have to think more about this. Do you enjoy public speaking? Fuck no. What pet do you want to have? The pet I want most right now is a plains/western hognose, probably of the lavender morph. I adore those lil piggies. Who do you want to be in your life that is currently not? I go back-and-forth about Jason, even though I know it wouldn't be healthy for me for him to have any part in it. PTSD is a motherfucker. Who do you want to be out of your life that currently is in it? Nobody. What do you have to do to achieve your dream? Most likely for someone(s) with considerable influence or popularity in art to highlight photograph(s) of mine. It's why I enter competitions once in a blue moon if Mom's okay with paying the small fee; it's very, very seldom I even ask, though. I hate asking for things, especially non-necessities with our financial position. Are you ambitious? I think so. I'm determined as a motherfucker to be successful with photography, for one. Do you sell things online? Extremely rarely. Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to take pictures of my flute and guitar since I wanna try to get rid of them. I never played the guitar much, and my sentimental affection for my flute has long since faded, so I might as well make a bit of cash off them to go towards Venus' terrarium upgrade. Do you look the way you want to look? Hell no. Do you pray daily? I never do. Have you been through anything traumatic? Oh yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. What is a medical condition you used to have but don't anymore? I had this very weird spell of frequent vertigo that kinda just... vanished. Do you look your age? I suppose I do. What has made you itch the most? Shaving my legs I guess, considering I would scratch them so badly it left me with permanent scars. Is there anything you're avoiding? If so, what? Probably. Well enough that I can't even think of it right now, haha. What quality do you admire most in others? Empathy. Do you believe that things will get better? Yes. I hope. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I have. How old were you when you started swearing? I was in the 7th grade. I don't know the actual age group for that. Do you have any Indian in your blood? No. What is your favorite sunset color? Pink. Have you ever had dreadlocks? No. Have you ever wondered if your house was haunted? Two houses ago, yes. Does the idea of having servants bother you? Yes? Do you like crab? NOOOOOO NO NO. It's mushy and just ew. What song gives you chills? Hell, most music I listen to can. I get chills from music very, very easily, and I'd say either "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade or Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" cover does it the best, but I could very well be forgetting one. Ah, Bad Wolves' cover of "Zombie" is another very high contender, especially knowing the story behind it with how the original singer was supposed to write it with them, but the day of scheduled recording, she died. What color is your favorite hoodie? It's mostly gray, just with a Pikachu graphic on it. Do you have a string of lights in your room? No, but I've always thought those were really pretty. If you were a writer, would you have a pen name or use your real name? My real name. What is your friend's cat's name? Sara has a cat named Winter. Did you ignore the last Facebook post that bothered you, or did you comment? Probably rolled my eyes and scrolled by just to avoid conflict. I normally have to be HEATED to start something. If you were a famous singer, what would you want your hit song to be about? Peace, most likely. Do you have a blog? No. Do you think you are good at writing poetry? I think so, but it takes more thinking than it used to. Do you take gummy vitamins? No, but I wish I took vitamins. Would probably do me some good. If you could do research right now for an essay, what topic would you choose to write about? Hm. I'm always up for arguing for LGBT rights. There's a good handful of topics I'd enjoy writing about, though. Have you ever been tempted to commit a crime? Well, I've pirated things before, so... I kinda crossed that threshold. Other than that, no, not to my memory. Have you ever started writing a suicide letter? I wrote one and am forever humiliated by it. ...and then realized you wanted to live? No, I OD'd afterwards. Well wait... I was kinda on the line I guess, considering once I did it, I panicked and told Mom. If you have a class ring, what color is the stone? I didn't get one. Do you like apple cider hot or cold? I can't remember the last time I had either. Do you use window clings (stickers for your window)? No. Have you ever found a secret compartment? I don't remember ever finding one anywhere. Do you read horror stories? Sometimes RP pretty much turns into horror stories, haha. Do you ever comfort eat? I am VERY bad at that. Do you have your wedding planned in your head already? No, only skeletal basics of it. Does sunlight make you happier? Yes. This is a scientific fact. Do you feel depressed in the winter? No. What's your favorite shade of green? Like a pastel mint color. What channel is your TV usually on? Mom always has Netflix or Hulu on, I think. Do you drive with the windows down or the air on? I strongly prefer AC. How many pairs of jeans do you have? Zero. Do you sleep with a comforter or quilt? A comforter. Who is your favorite American president? I don't know nearly enough about any of 'em to make a fair judgment. Do you jump right in a pool or do you get in slowly? Whew, my jumping in the pool days are long over. Do you use one swimsuit for the summer or do you have many? I just have a single black one-piece. Do you use the bumpers when you bowl? Nah. Sorta affects the fun for me since it's less reason to focus. Do you put eyeliner on the top, bottom, or all around your eyes? All around. Will you refuse to listen to music if you find the lyrics degrading? Depends on how degrading, but usually, it doesn't play a part in deciding if I like the song itself or not. Can you do a cartwheel? I never even tried; I was always too afraid of breaking my neck. Do you have tornadoes where you live? Occasionally, but they're not a big thing here. What's your favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. What's the most expensive crafts tool that you own? Miss Tobey got me a big pack of Prismacolor pencils one year that I really cherish. Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? No. What's the most exotic spice in your spice rack? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have a favorite television host? Steve Harvey is The Shit. What's something you're opinionated and very vocal about? LGBTQ+ rights and the pro-choice ideology lead the bunch. The lack of morality in hunting for sport, too. What's something you regularly order online? Nothing regularly. Do you like elevators? No; quite the opposite, actually. When you're angry, does it ever get physical? Absolutely not. What's the weirdest video YouTube has suggested to you? I don't really know. I'm certain I've seen some wild suggestions, though, given just how much of a heavy user I am of YT. Do you like the smell of tar? Ugh, no. Never understood that. Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? I'd like a rainbow flag for my room to hang somewhere.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''pumped up kicks'' by 3teeth

[lgbtpolitics]

Realising I am a lesbian (this is gonna be long)

This is not something I talk about much because I see it as something personal and not for public discussion. Equally I feel that online discussions, especially on tumblr are steeped in this idea of "winning" an argument, "proving" you're allowed to say this or that and "owning" your "opponents" and I dont like my personal story to have any part of that.

But the recent discussion I was just having made me reminisce a lil bit so I'm gonna talk about it now. Because I feel like where I'm coming from on this is pretty relevant.

Something you need to understand is that I was not popular in primary school. I had like barely any friends. I basically got it into my head that I was more mature than everyone else, and I was like, so excited to go to secondary school. I watched all the rom coms about high school and I just saw it as my chance to be the super popular girl, that dates all the boys, and everyone loves etc. This fantasy of myself as the next regina George was something that really kept me going during that time. And I went to secondary school and tbh I got my wish- ofc real life isnt as dramatic as the movies, there was no dramatic walking down the halls with everyone in awe- but for all intents and purposes i was relatively popular, had my little girl gang, and most importantly, loads of boys fancied me. I got my first kiss age 11 and just felt I was succeeding in life. I subsequently got slapped in the face with the realisation that I was a lesbian.

Now this was like, unacceptable to me. I basically promised myself that it didn't matter, I was gonna stay closeted forever, I could still date boys, no one needed to know. This idea i had that my attractiveness to boys was my sole life force was not going away any time soon. So i did that. I dated boys, and I was enjoying it too. I knew I wasnt really into them (do not @ me about the ethics of that this is middle school it was never gonna last regardless) but really the whole point of dating them was to satiate my need to be the super attractive girl, not actual feelings. That was true before I realised I was gay and it was still true afterwards so yeah I was still getting that same buzz, the delight of realising someone's into me, scrutinizing him with my friends, gossiping about it- I was loving it. So far none of this is sounding very gay I know. The thing was these relationships would never last longer than maybe like 2 months. That's not that strange for that age group, hence why no one picked up on it, but after the initial hype wore down, after it became something in my life not a new adventure I was just bored and I started to hate it. I remember this would change really rapidly, almost overnight I would go from being so excited about him to just wanting him nowhere near me. I like kinda knew this was because of my sexuality but like I said, as far as i was concerned I could basically just be straight and only think about women in private so I didn't scrutinise it too much.

Anyway fast forward a few years of this. When I was 18 I moved somewhere new, much more accepting place with -SHOCK- other, out, gay people. This was like crazy to me and I came out to a handful of my friends. It was bliss honestly. However to my, and my friends, surprise I did not stop getting with guys after I'd come out to people. It was really weird for me, I just like could not stop seeing guys like a dating prospect. I was not actively dating guys but like sometimes kissing them at parties stuff like that. I remember thinking that I needed to stop getting with them if I wanted people to believe me that I was gay, but then thinking, if i need to try then surely I'm not gay, like what is this? So when I went to uni I came out as bisexual. I really wanted to come out at uni because i was ok with people knowing now, but I was scared of like making announcements to people so going away was like, my opportunity to just let people know when I first met them and it would be a casual thing. And I just decided I was gonna say I was bisexual because saying I was confused felt too personal to share with people I was just meeting but also if I was still getting with guys, any discussion of how I could be a lesbian also felt too personal so i was like ok I'm bisexual now. I dont mean this like I actively lied, I mean more like, I just told myself I must be, because i seemingly could not stop getting with guys.

So yeah for a couple of years I identified as bisexual. I basically changed my mind because of one event. What happened was, there was this guy on my course who like, I had noticed before, but not in an attraction way (not even fake attraction, like I had not even thought about him as hot, or someone i would wanna get with i just knew like who he was). And whilst out with some friends of mine, they were getting all giggly and gossipy about how cute this guy is. I just saw them like laughing about something and then one of them turned to me and said "Dont you think x is really fit?" And in that moment, suddenly, I thought he was really fit. I dont mean I lied and pretended to join I mean in that split second I suddenly started to feel something towards him that I did not before. And for some reason, this time I was acutely conscious of the fact that I did not find him attractive before she said anything. And this event really stayed with me and I was pondering it for ages, and started to realise that basically every guy I'd fancied up to that point I'd actually done the same thing with. Like I would have no inclination to get with a boy until he or someone else put the idea in my head. And I was latching on to that idea every time. And this feeling was not following through, I'm not gonna go into detail about sex I was having but basically yeah it didn't hold up. And just like that, I basically just realised that a lot of my attraction to men was the same as it was when i was 12 years old: all about about the idea of it and not really about them, or my enjoyment at all. I linked this back to my obsession with being this figure of "girl all the guys want", despite the fact that I was now studying science at university, not doing make up and nearly all my friends were guys etc, I'd basically entirely let go of this persona, but the impact of having spent my whole life was that I could not distinguish between someone I liked and someone I liked the idea of and I could see it really clearly all of a sudden.

Initially I thought it was just me. Like I'd concocted this image of myself that had convinced me I was bisexual for years. Up until I started reading about other lesbians experiences with this- I wasnt alone and I wasnt even the oldest person just realising it. That was another big factor was that I felt way to old to still be questioning my sexuality, especially considering I was now out of the closet, I was involved in a lot of lgbt activism and politics and I just felt a bit pathetic. Realising this was actually a really common experience, actually including feeling more of this "attraction" to men after coming out, was honestly not just a huge relief to me but also just made me feel more comfortable identifying as a lesbian, and not feeling like I had to justify every past relationship I'd had with men in order to do so.

Now I actually still have a lot of friends who think I'm bisexual. I do tell people I'm not, but they dont believe me a lot of the time, and I dont blame them. I understand that I got with a lot of boys and they just see that and think "shes definitely bi". They're mostly men, quite a few of them are straight and people just arent aware that this is a thing that lesbians experience. That pretty much concludes my story, and I just wanna say that the reason I'm posting this is not, as I said at the top, about "winning" this "argument" I was having, I just want people to see this stuff. I just shared contrpoints video where she talks about the same stuff, saying how one of my friends actually got in touch with me after seeing that to say he kind of could see what I meant about me being a lesbian. Call it comphet call it whatever you want. The point is, it is a common experience, and it is something people struggle with, even after realising that that's what it is, it doesn't go away when you put a name to it. Recognising it does help though, it's been a while now since I've even contemplated being with any man. Also when you do feel that stuff, it helps to just ask yourself if what you're feeling is attraction, or a buzz from the idea of it. Having an understanding that it's not just about forcing yourself but actually you feel something genuine, but that that something is not attraction really helps to understand it aswell.

#lgbt #lgbt discourse #lesbian #comphet #tallulah #gay #bisexual #coming out

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz

#the rambling continues.... #lj watches hxh #hxh

[bi-bobbysoxxers]

🏀, 📖, 🎸, 🚗, 👤, 📼, 💄, 🔮, 🎁, 💞, 👭, 💘, 🕛, ⛅ for the Gay/Lesbian ask game please?

Alrighty lol xD

🏀🏐 Do you play any sports?

Uh, not anymore unfortunately. When i was in middle school, i played basketball, volleyball, did cheerleading, and was in running club. In highschool, i did cross country in the fall, and i think that's it lol, since i was mostly obsessed with doing theatre lol. I realy liked building the sets and painting, and being on running crew lol. If i ever decided to join a sport, it would be either soccer or beach volleyball, since those seem the most fun. And good cardio too!

📖 Do you write?

Yeah, occasionally lol. I'm not the greatest writer ever, but i'd like to think i'm proud of the work that I've posted. Mostly just Haikyuu and K Project fics. Here's my AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElotheFairy

Eventually i want to write some BSD and She-Ra fics, cause i have some ideas, i'm just pretty lazy when it comes to writing, whoops.

🎸 Are you a musician?

Oh I wishhh. That would be so cool. I used to be able to play the piano, and I'm able to reteach myself the scales and play simple songs if I'm sitting at home, but that's about it lol. I need one of those lil whiteboards that you can stick right above a keyboard so i can just have the scale in front of me and learn cute studio ghibli piano songs lol.

🚗 Can you drive?

Surprisingly, yes. Lol I'm a Midwest American queer, so we gotta either learnt to drive ourselves to the cool places, or date someone who can drive us everywhere xD I'm great driving in my hometown and in my college town, but I still can't drive in super big cities quite yet. That'll have to change soon tho once I move for my apprenticeship!

👤 Favorite LGBT fictional character?

Does Kakashi count xD

I'm sure there are a bunch of good queer characters out there, but deadass, most of the shows I watch, it's merely implied, oof. If we're going with canonly queer, i guess i like Simon from Love, Simon a lot. Oh, and of course, Scorpia from She-Ra lol. I hc her as a nb androg lesbian lol. Oh, and Chloe and Max from Life is Strange, and that one chick from Stranger Things, i guess.

If we're going with just, an implied/possibly coded queerness, I love Oikawa from HQ, i headcanon him as a demiboy who is bi or pan. (I headcanon that most fo the dudes from that anime are bi lmao). Uh, I also love Akutagawa and Odasaku from Bungou Stray dogs. I headcanon that Akutagawa is a trans nb guy, demisexual, and panromantic. I also hc Oda as bi lol. I also love Akagi and Misaki from K project, i hc Misaki as a bi trans guy, lol. And i hc Akagi as cis and bi. For She-Ra, i adore both Bow and Sea Hawk, i think it might be implied that Bow is a trans guy, so i hc him as trans and bi. And for my love, Sea Hawk, i hc him as bigender and bi, who laters gets into a polyamrous relationship with both Bow and Mermista lol. Sorry, I have a lot of implied queer hc's, lol.

📼 80's or 90's?

90's for fashion, hair, and makeup.

80's for great music, cute ppl, and fun design ideas lol.

💄 Do you like makeup?

Uhhh, it's kinda complicated.

I like makeup as a concept of freedom of expression, feminity, a way of transforming yourself into a piece of art, blurring the lines between gender ideals, presentation, makeup for fantasy concepts, etc.

But i also dont't like makeup sometimes because it's def been used as a tool to pressure women into performative feminity, used, as a way to groom young girls, used a sneaky way of breaking down a lot of ppl's self confidence, it encourages highly unrealistic beauty standards (for both women and men), i also hate how motherfucking EXPENSIVE and unsustainable it is.

So as a tool for art, genderfuckery, and self-expression, i love it. But as a msrketing concept mostly driven by male CEOs and years and years of misogny and captialism? Not so much lol. I like wearing makeup for big occasions or for when i feel hyperfeminine some days, but I usually prefer going without it.

🔮 Do you believe in astrology?

Yeah, to a reasonable extent lol. I'm not one of those queer that obsesses over every little detail tho. I'm still def learning about it. I recently lesrned that you can combine astrology, with tarot readings, which can greatly specifiy the readings, for both yourself and other people, so I think i'll try that once I get a tarot deck for my birthday lol.

🎁 Fave holiday?

Well, I could be one of those queers who automatically says Halloween, but the more i think about it, i think i like the fall/halloween season waaayy more. Which makes me think that I actually like Thanksgiving a lot, as just, an American holiday. I don't think we shoukd really celebrate it for it's historical reasons, but i also will never say no to good food, family, friends, and a general warmth and sense of peace during that time of the year :3

💞 Fave thing to do on a first date?

Festivals!!!! I looooovee going to any type of market, festival, etc. with someone. I think it's a great way to explore, start conversations, and learn about someone. Cuz like, the type of art, food, trinkets, and music that draws someone in can you a lot about that person, if you think about it! It's hella cute. And then once you're tired of the crowds, most festivals usually have quiet garden or parks near them that you can escape to for some quiet time and deep conversations, lol.

👭 Do u have a gf? Do you want one?

No, I don't have a girlfriend lol. I have an amazing and very caring boyfriend tho. I have briefly dated women in the past tho. It's been fun, lol. I've always wondered, if i had more past romantic/sexual experiences with women, then maybe i'd possibly identify as a lesbian, but honestly, I'm proud of my journey, and I get very happy when I think about my bigender-ness and bisexuality lol. I don't think I would change that for anything. For whatever reason, i think I just click better with bois and nb ppl rather than with cis girls, i'm not sure why lol. But good for anyone who has a gf right now plz treat her like a kweennnn xD

💘

Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, lol. I used to, back in middle school tho. I def believe in love at second sight, or love at first conversation. Ppl are so damn cute when they talk about things they're passionate about, or even when they just get goofy and rant to you about a crazy story lol.

🕐 How old were you when you realized you weren't straight?

Oh god, lol. I was... *tries to do math* I think 16 or 17? I uhh had accidentally fallen for one of my best friends in high school lol. It turned out okay tho, we're still friends to this day. Thanks for that, friend, I'm so glad i realized that sooner rather than later lol.

⛅ Winter or summer queer?

Oh def, winter, lol. Altho winter depression is real most years, idk, i feel lkke i would rather be anxious and cold, rather than angry and sweating buckets lol. Actually now that I think about it, the summer always makes me a little more moody than winter, cause i always feel like i should doing more, but summer's really a time for waiting and rest, if you think about it. I'm always happier in the winter cause most of the time, i'm slowly moving towards certains goals in my life, and the world just...seems happier and more cozy in the winter season, idk.

Thanks for these asks, dude! I had a lot of fun with them, lol.

Anyone can ask me any of the other q's on the pinned pride game list if you'd like! Happy Pride, BLM!!

#elo speaks #thanks for the ask #ask games #pride #pride asks

[spn-meanttobe]

Spn Meant To Be Masterlist -2011

RPS

Title: Once Upon a Breakup Author: anyothergirl415 Artist: favoritedarknes Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/OMC Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26K Warnings: AU, minor violence, extreme schmoop, background character deaths, an abudance of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter references. Prompt: Getting Rid of Bradley Lucy Savage is finally getting rid of Bradley—and his hideous green recliner. Bradley is out of her life for good. Or so she thinks. Turns out Officer Zack Warren wants to arrest the very same Bradley for embezzlement and figures the lovely Lucy can lead him straight to his target. Good thing there's a cop around. Because someone shoots at Lucy and then blows up her car. Zack insists she needs twenty-four-hour protection. What does he think her three dogs and attack cat are for? Still, he insists on moving right in to Lucy's house. Now there's danger lurking outside and in her own kitchen, bathroom—and bedroom. Or maybe Zack is just what Lucy needs.… Summary: Jensen would consider his life pretty magical, buried in fantasy and cookie dough, and free of the ex that was really no good for him. Everything was on the right track, which was probably why he suddenly had a Detective in his shop, guns waving in his face, and a whole mess of trouble he didn’t sign up for. Bloody Hell. Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: That a Broken Bone in Your Pocket, Or You Just Happy to See Me? Author: dugindeep Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26.5K Warnings: language, sex Prompt: Here I Am: Born into a real-estate dynasty, Brandt Wainwright chose football over the family business, and now he's a Super Bowl MVP. That streak of good fortune runs out the day Brandt crashes his SUV into a tree. During the long recuperation, the fun-loving quarterback becomes cranky and sullen—until private nurse Ciara Dennison shows up for duty. Ciara has zero interest in sports, or in tall, blond jocks with overblown egos. She's dated a man in the public eye before, and she's not repeating that mistake. Somehow Brandt keeps breaking down all her defenses, seeing through her facade to the sexy free spirit underneath. But once his recovery is complete, will he return to the celebrity life he knew—or choose the woman who can fulfill his dreams? Summary: Jensen Ackles is a physical therapist who couldn't give less of a crap when he's assigned to help Chicago's hottest basketball player recover from a wrecked knee. As an NBA All Star, Jared Padalecki's crass and smug as all hell, but he's also persistent and committed to this thing they've got going on. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Love Burns Author: dante_s_hell Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26K Warnings: minor character death Prompt: Wild Fire. Battling a fire at a friend's house turns into a nightmare when firefighter Shelby Fox becomes the only witness to a murder. Unfortunately, a bad fall at the killer's hands leaves Shelby with traumatic amnesia and plunges her life into danger. Assigning himself as Shelby's personal protector is Detective Clay Jessup, her best friend and someone she always counted on. But as they work to find the murderer, a fierce desire begins to replace the simple friendship they once saw in each other's eyes.After all these years, could there finally be something more between them, or are they just flirting with danger? Summary: Jensen is a firefighter with a close knit group of friends. One night, he's called to fight a fire at a friend's house and he witnesses a murder. Only he doesn't remember. His best friend, Detective Jared Padalecki, decides Jensen needs his protection. Over the course of the investigation, Jared and Jensen realize their feelings for each other have changed. They are growing closer, but will a murderer intent on killing Jensen halt their burgeoning relationship in its tracks? Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: Some Things Stay the Same Author: peggy_lane Pairing: Jared/Jensen, background Misha/Sebastian Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 24K Warnings: none Prompt: Ramona and the Renegade Deputy Joe Lone Wolf never would've guessed that helping someone at the side of the road in a thunderstorm would throw his carefully controlled world into a tailspin. But that's exactly what happens when he realizes the sexy "stranger" is his childhood best friend, Ramona. He's spent years convincing himself that she deserves more than a former rebel with a scarred past. But all it takes is one stormy night in a deserted cabin with Ramona to make the fierce lawman change his mind. Falling for Joe is a risk veterinarian Ramona Santiago knows she shouldn't take. Everyone she's trusted has let her down and left her alone…except him. Can she possibly hope that she and Joe were always meant to be more than friends? Summary: It just feels like more bad luck when Jared's car breaks down in the middle of a thunderstorm. But when the Good Samaritan who brings him in from the rain turns out to be Jensen, his best friend from childhood, things start to look up. For Jensen, seeing Jared again after so many years could be the best chance he's had yet to get everything he's ever wanted. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: One Small Step Author: sandymg Artist: apieceofcake Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 38K Warnings: Jared/Jensen, Jensen/Tom, Jensen/OMC Prompt: For Business … Or Marriage: She'd always been in love with her boss. Secretly. And it had almost killed Abby Morrison each time magnificent multimillionaire Cade Stone began dating another woman. And now ... he wanted her to plan his wedding! Abby knew Cade was making a mistake -- marrying for business reasons a woman equally uninterested in love. For too long she'd been the mousy little secretary. But now she refused to keep quiet. So she had one month to plan Cade's wedding? That gave her one month to change his mind. Summary: Jared has had a secret crush for months. But it’s not like publishing genius and gay activist Jensen Ackles is going to notice the tall, weird guy pushing the mail cart. So when Jared’s best friend and Jensen’s assistant, Sandy, tells him that Jensen is getting married in one month to a fellow activist -- something about being the first gay couple to get married in the state -- Jared knows some things just aren't meant to be. And now Sandy is insisting that Jared help her plan the wedding. She thinks it’s a good idea. Jared thinks she’s nuts. Because the only thing this could lead to is heartbreak. Right? Link to fic: on Ao3 Link to art: on LiveJournal Title: Home Is Where the Hurt Is Author: tebtosca Artist: fiercelynormal Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 15K Warnings: Total schmoop Prompt: My Favorite Cowboy  Rugged, rough and rowdy, Jarred Riddell is everything a cowboy should be. That's the problem. 'Cause Jarred has set his sights on a pretty lil' socialite who has no use for his unrefined ways. Luckily, he has a plan: get the local librarian to whip him into charm-school shape and that city gal will fall right into his gentlemanly arms. But co-conspirator Serena Higgens has more on her mind than proper manners. She's pined for years after the sweet, hardworking rancher who lacks a bit of polish. To earn some much-needed cash, she'll put her feelings aside and give Jarred a crash course in respectability. Besides, throwing out mud-caked boots and correcting double negatives should help Serena get over her crush. It's the perfect situation…until Jarred adds kissing to the lesson plan! Summary: Librarian Jensen Ackles has been secretly in love with cattle rancher Jared Padalecki since high school, but Jared's been pining after the Big Oil socialite that got away. When said socialite returns to their small town newly single, Jared decides to finally woo her by having Jensen teach him how to be a proper gentleman. Jensen never could say no to those stupid dimples. Link to fic: on Ao3 Link to art: on LiveJournal Title: Deception Bay Author: zubeneschamali Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 15K Warnings: none listed Prompt: A Caribbean island...a honeymoon suite...sexy lingerie. Emily Wright has everything for the perfect honeymoon—except a husband! Although her nuptials are off, Emily takes her honeymoon, hoping for peace and quiet. Instead, chaos erupts when a stranger crashes into her suite and tackles her to the ground, protecting her from flying bullets. His chiseled physique sets off a wild desire in Emily.Delta Force Commando Tyler Matheson wasn't planning on a gorgeous civilian to come between him and the assailant he's chasing. Now he needs her help even though it means jeopardizing her life. Neither of them counts on the very real danger their sizzling chemistry provokes....Summary: While trying to enjoy his honeymoon-turned-solo-vacation, Jensen's party for one is literally crashed by a handsome, mysterious stranger who saves his life. Before he knows it, he's thrown into a world of danger…and passion like he's never dreamed. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: How a Writer Survives His Sister’s Wedding Author: matalinolukaret Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 18.5K Warnings: None Prompt: The Rogue Wedding GuestHannah couldn't wait to get back home for her sister's wedding. But it's hardly a holiday—to research a new TV show, her boss has decided to come with her! Hannah doesn't want the roguish Bradley Knight with her as her wedding date! How can she act professional with karaoke as the wedding entertainment? She's harbored a secret crush on Bradley since she started her job—so spending the weekend with him is a little too close for comfort. Especially when she finds out he's booked the penthouse suite for them both to share.Summary: Jared’s ready to go back home to celebrate his sister’s wedding. But that all changes when his crush/somewhat boss joins him on the trip to Texas. It’s going to be an interesting week, that’s for sure. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Making Opportunities Author: raeschae Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 21K Warnings: None listed Prompt: The Bikini Car Wash: After Andrea Wolkowicz abandons corporate life to help care for her sister, she quickly wears out the want ads in their rust-belt hometown. Time to be her own boss. Every mogul knows the best idea is an old idea with a new twist. So Andi proudly revives her father's business: an old-fashioned car wash…staffed entirely by bikini-clad women. That ought to get traffic—and blood—flowing on Grosvenor Street! This gutsy gimmick soon has the whole town in a lather, and not necessarily in a good way. Scandalized citizens are howling, neighboring businesses are worried. But straitlaced grocery-store owner Pete Guthrie is definitely intrigued. He knows it's hard to run a small business in a big-box world. To him, Andi's brains and bravery are as alluring as the bikini she calls business attire. Summary: LA event planner Jared doesn't take many trips back to his small, Midwestern hometown these days, but when his first crush, Jensen, is in need of his services, Jared can't resist the urge to drop everything and drive half way across the country. Now he has one week to raise thousands of dollars, save a youth center, and show Jensen exactly what he missed out on all those years ago. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Shadows of the Past Author: myficjournal and saklani2 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26K Warnings: violence, some hurt!Jared, almost undoubtedly some mistakes in regards to police procedure Prompt: Rogue Stallion: "I don't want kindness—or your kind of woman."Sterling McCallum gave the plain, hard warning to Jessica Larson. The brooding rogue cop had a stone in place of a heart and a past as mysterious as the case that had brought them together. But this time Jessica couldn't back off. Something compelled her to stand her ground and brave the emotions this man had long aroused. Suddenly, their darkest secrets, their deepest desires, shimmered to the surface…about to explode.Summary: Detective Jensen Ackles was betrayed by his former partner and lover. Ever since, he has driven away all his partners and been alone. But new partner, Jared Padalecki, and the murder of a man tied to his past will force him to change everything. Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: I see great things in baseball Author: withdiamonds Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 8K Warnings: None Prompt: In Bed with the BossFor three years, Kalera has been a model secretary to Duncan Royal, with only one hiccup in their otherwise perfect relationship: a one-night stand that should never have happened, and which both have tried to forget. Or so Kalera thought.  But Duncan is haunted by their one night of unbelievable passion, and secretly longs for their relationship to develop after office hours. As a rule, he can have any woman he wants—so he's furious when Kalera announces her engagement to another man! Whatever it takes, Duncan intends to entice Kalera into his bed once more—and this time it will be forever.Summary: For the five years that Jared Padalecki has owned the Albuquerque Isotopes, Jensen Ackles has been his perfect assistant. Two years ago, they had a one-night stand. It was awesome, but they decided business and pleasure really didn't mix and agreed to forget it ever happened. Jared has no clue that he harbors real feelings for Jensen. He merely thinks that he thinks Jensen is hot, but when Jensen announces his intention to marry another man, Jared realizes he's actually in love with Jensen. Now he has to figure out how to convince Jensen that he feels the same. Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: The Long Way Home Author: jesseofthenorth Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R (language) PG-13 (Action) Word Count: 11k Warnings: none Prompt: Texas is a long way from Oregon, but Amanda Allen isn't planning to make her stay in Brody's Crossing permanent. All she wants is to meet the brothers she only recently discovered she had and head back out—mission accomplished. But what to do about Leo Casale? The tempting Texan is doing his level best to make her feel right at home. Leo is completely captivated by the stranger with secret! written all over her. He wants to help her, but Amanda refuses to confide in him. Does she have to be so stubborn and independent? Things are happening way too fast. Suddenly, Amanda has a whole new family to get to know, including a certain irresistible charmer who's making her believe that she belongs here too! Summary: That, mostly. Except more gay. And told from Jared's point of view. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: It's so easy loving you Author: the_milky_way Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 15K Warnings: None Prompt: Her Best Friend's WeddingWhen did Sadie Beecham get those curves? She'd always been the geek next door, his baby sister Meg's brainy best friend. Smart, sure. But hot? He never would have imagined it…before. Now, Trey Kincaid's imagining all sorts of things. And none of them has to do with Sadie's gifted mind. A mind, he discovers, she's clearly lost. Because she thinks she's in love with Meg's fiancé. And that's an obsession he's determined to put an end to—one way or the other.Summary: Jensen looks up then and stares. Open mouthed and all that. He must look quite idiotic, sitting on the stairs with a kitten hanging from his little finger, mouth open and eyes wide. Because, holy hell, is that really Jared Padalecki standing there? Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: The Tampa Connection Author: tcs1121 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jared/JDM Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 17K Warnings: Harlequin Romance. (Please read in the spirit it was written.) GuySex. Some Hurt/Comfort eventually. Prompt: Summary: On paper, Jared Padalecki Morgan had a lifestyle most people would envy. Only he knows what a sham his marriage really was. So when his politician husband is killed in a hit and run accident, he moves to Florida and takes a job as a personal assistant to Jensen Ackles, a powerful CEO with an intimidating reputation. Jared's intelligence and social grace prove invaluable to Jensen, and on a business trip to South Carolina's lush Low Country, their business relationship takes a sensual detour. But when threatening letters arrive at Jensen's office, Jared realizes that his husband's death was no accident—and that he will meet a similar fate unless they can uncover the scandalous truth together... Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Let the sun rain down on me Author: trinipedia Artist: theblackrose16 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 15K Warnings: language Prompt: The Angel and the OutlawHe wants her as his bride, but the law wants him! No one asks the dark, brooding stranger about his past. People gossip, but daren't question. He and his young daughter live alone--and that's the way Stuart Taylor wants...needs it to stay. When the spirited new schoolteacher, Rachel Houston, is touched by Stuart's shy little girl, who's never uttered a word, everything starts to change. Stuart's surly manner doesn't worry Rachel--she can see the vulnerability hidden in the depths of his blue eyes. She's convinced there's more to the rugged, handsome stranger's story. But when the truth comes out, has Rachel the courage to stand by her man?Summary: Jensen Ackles is a moody petty-thief who marries his parole officer's nephew, believing that he can use the honeymoon to escape to Canada. Jared Padalecki is the sweetest guy you can ever hope to meet. He truly believes that Niagara Falls will change Jensen for the better and won't let anything stop the honeymoon...not even his own death. The story of a marriage that truly is forever, based on the movie "Camille".Link to fic: on Ao3 (art embedded in fic) Title: Quite So, Sir and Other Code Words Author: forelyse Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 9K Warnings: None Prompt: What's a Housekeeper to Do?Being housekeeper to crime writer Cameron Travers should be a pretty simple, safe job—just what Lally Douglas wants. Once burned, forever shy Lally wants to blend into the background. Cameron Travers is attractive, intelligent, fun and very charming! Soon Lally wants to wear all colors of the rainbow and embrace life. Most of all she wants Cameron to notice her, in that way.Summary: Being housekeeper to novelist Jensen Ackles should be a simple, safe job—just what Jared needs. Once burned, Jared wants to lead a pleasant but otherwise generic life. Jensen is attractive, intelligent, thoughtful and very charming! Soon Jared wants to wear all colors of the rainbow just to get Jensen to notice him, especially in that way. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: ho'ololi (transform) Author: topaz119 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 8K Warnings: None Prompt: #31 Pleasure in HawaiiGene Malloy is finally ready to get on with his life. And he just may have found the perfect woman to share it with him. From the moment Gene rescues Sloane Hepburn from a rogue wave on the beach, she makes his most passionate fantasies come true. With her sultry beauty and lively spirit, Sloane is turning the divorced Maui B and B owner's life upside down—and he's loving every minute of it….Relocating to Hawaii is a big step for the overextended career woman. But with hunky, seductive Gene Malloy romancing her under a tropical island sky, how can a woman keep from falling? Now he just has to make her see that their love is here to stay. And that the pleasure is just beginning…Summary: They were good together, in bed and out, but Jensen didn’t know if that was only because they really weren’t together all that often. Link to fic: on Ao3 Supernatural Title: Cover Art Artist: gold_bluepoint Pairing: Sam/Dean Rating: PG-13 Word Count: N/A Warnings: None Prompt: "Responding to a 911 call, Whitehorse Deputy Halley Robinson is stunned to find herself face-to-face with her teenage crush, Colton Chisholm. The schoolboy who had teased her is now a strong and sexy man—and he's on a mission to solve a case! But if he plans on unmasking a killer, he's going to need her help. Colton can no longer run from the truth…someone in his small town has gotten away with murder. Now it's up to him to bring the killer to justice—with the help of local authorities, which, to his surprise, include Halley. The girl who had once idolized him is now a woman he must fight to resist. But as they work on the case, the attraction between them only grows stronger. Their rocky past may lead to a future together…unless the killer parts them forever." Summary: Interning at a local police department while at Stanford, Sam is stunned to find himself face-to-face with his older brother, Dean. The overbearing sibling who had teased Sam is now a strong and sexy man - and he's on a mission to solve a case! But if Dean plans on hunting the killer, he's going to need Sam's help. Dean Winchester can no longer run from the truth... a violent creature is taking victims in the San Fransisco Bay Area. Now it's up to him to find the killer - with the unwitting help of local authorities, which, to his surprise, include Sam. The boy who had once idolized him is now a young man he must fight to resist. But as they work on the case, the attraction between them only grows stronger. Their rocky past may lead to a future together... unless the killer parts them forever. Link to art: on LiveJournal (art is no longer visible)

#masterlist #spn meant to be #meant to be #2011

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x17 “Game Night”

this was not 45 minutes of Dean playing Twister with Cas :/

04:22pm

if this isn’t 45 minutes of team free will 2.0 having a happy time in the bunker with all their alive hunter friends and family, playing board games, everyone whistling and whooping when cas takes off his coat to play twister with dean, i will be sorely disappointed

HOWEVER

/checks

it’s meredith glynn

so maybe it won’t be the pure, fun, gay plotless fantasy that i have in mind, but it’ll probably be well-written and emotional, which is aaaalmost as good

-

04:30

DEAN’S PLAYING MOUSETRAP 

OKAY 

OKAY

OKAY

-

04:31

[distant “soN OF A BITCH”]

yeah mousetrap is like that

we have one exactly the same, it’s from the 60s or something, it sometimes functions but mostly doesn’t

when the ball hops into the bucket and rolls down the slope, that’s my favourite part

-

04:37

WHY ARE THEY HAVING GAME NIGHT and drama WITHOUT CAS

WHERE IS CAS

WHERE IS CAS

THIS IS TOO MUCH

-

04:38

ahhh thank you ms glynn for immediately answering my question

she knew!!! she knew the only question everyone would be asking at that exact moment when nobody mentioned cas is WHERE IS CAS

and then she’s like “here have some cas”

thank

-

04:39

i want a gag reel of danneel and misha trying to do this scene

we don’t have anywhere near enough content of them together, interacting

-

04:41

cas getting earrings for anael/sister jo is so intriguing to me and i really like it for some reason

“lightly cursed”

jsdfd

-

04:43

paused and screenshotted because in this exact moment she looks uncannily like my doctor

-

04:45

jo: the winchesters don’t know you’re here, do they?

cas: “why do you say that?”

jo: “i don’t know, just a general reek of ill-conceived lone wolf desperation”

i love this script, danneel’s delivery, and also describing cas as a lone wolf, i find that both attractive and accurate... kinda makes me feel better about the fact he disappears for weeks at a time, i guess it’s just a personality trait of his that he likes being alone after socialising a lot

-

04:50

mary: “i can be... closed off... hard”

dean: “yeah? :) that’s where i get it from”

aw yeah cuties talking about their feelings

-

04:51

while dean and mary talk, i think the music is that soft piano theme they use when dean and sam are having emotions, and i’m not 100% on that because i haven’t heard it in AGES, like maybe two seasons, unless i just missed it

either way it just makes me think of all the times they DIDN’T use that music with dean and cas

at least not since season 4 or 5 (sic), this music definitely reminds me more of that era than the recent eras

-

04:57

cas in that big silver pickup truck

i wonder what dean thinks of all his car choices

-

05:00

YEEEAH SAMMY SMUSH HIS STUPID FACE

-

05:03

mary telling sam she’s proud of him eyyyyyyyyyyy <3

edit: IN HINDSIGHT THESE “LAST WORDS” INTERACTIONS WITH SAM AND DEAN HURT WAY MORE. now i’m really worried about her gdi ;A;

-

05:04

the doll cas blows dust off reminds me of that weird lil doll danneel keeps in her and jensen’s house

-

05:08

laughing because how is nick even close to being jack’s father

jack is biologically the president and the presidential aide’s/first lady?’s son

and team free will are his nurturing dads, who did the actual job of parenting

lucifer is his angel father since he was possessing the president

but like

nick is the body lucifer wore, was nowhere near the president, wasn’t a vessel at the time, hasn’t physically been allowed to be near jack in all the time jack’s existed, has had almost no interaction with him, and is also a douchebag murderer

family don’t end with blood and all, sure

but like

no

-

05:18

jo/anael: “look, i just stepped in a rat, so”

oh god that reminds me of--

*trigger warning: very gross, animal death*

reminds me of that time my cat brought in a mouse and ate half and then because it was dark i stepped on it in a bare foot and skinned it with my foot and it was cold and horrible

also that time i stepped on a spider, also in bare feet, and it crunched

and that time i stepped on a lizard but it was fine and it was SQUISHY

-

05:21

i went back a bit and anael throws the doll, first it says “ma-ma~?” and then it hits the pile and goes “mhmhj!!” and that’s both cute and upsetting

-

05:24

OH MY GOD IT’S LIKE THE SAMULET BUT DIFFERENT

cute lil horned skull, i want one. seriously it’s adorable, i don’t think it’s meant to be adorable but it is

-

05:34

rock hit sammy’s face and i cringed

-

05:37

of all the wounds to the head

finally one actually did some damage

feels weird but right that dean called an ambulance like real people

edit: what did he tell the EMTs though, now sam is all healed up

-

05:40

beautiful and terrifying

-

05:41

nick: “make me strong again, make me you”

he’s gonna die isn’t he

-

05:43

dean: “count with me”

sam” “you always put me first”

noo sam !!!!

-

and then the cut from sam, dead, to nick, dead

oh gdjfgdjg help dhfgdf

-

05:47

mary: “you need help, we’ll help you”

oh now i’m worried about mary

jack you better not hurt her

-

05:48

black screen

jack’s whisper “mary”

oh no

-

05:48

THIS WAS SO MUCH

AND IT WAS GREAT BUT IT WAS SO MUCH

I KNOW I SAID TWISTER BUT THIS WAS NOT THE KIND OF TWISTER I ENVISIONED

I MEANT PHYSICAL NOT EMOTIONAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH

i have no thoughts

i can’t think, i’m just

........maryy..........

i freaking loved anael, and i loved how cas interacted with her, he’s comfortable and knows her well and is just aware of her strengths and fears and likes and needs, and anael knows him just as well, well enough that she knew his real motivations for trying to contact god

i love that this was all about jack, but i also hate it because oh no our sweet baby nougat boy is a chocolate cake now

i love how much love the winchesters have for him, how they’re not even questioning whether he belongs there or not, even when lucifer and nick are trying to claim kinship. team free will are his three dads and everyone knows it

i adored seeing mary again, it feels like it’s been ages. and i hope dearly she’s okay at the end of this, we’ve all had enough of fridging and she doesn’t deserve that to happen to her again, none of us want that

meredith glynn writes good female characters with relatable positive and negative traits and i am so pleased to see that!! i do kind of think anael was the best part of this episode, and she was written so much better here than in the previous season. that stuff she and cas talked about, her doing everything for money vs. her trying to fix suffering, but also clearly enjoying the money along the way, that was my favourite part of the episode

i think my least favourite part was the fact it was basically two stories, cas doing stuff for jack, and then dean and sam and mary doing stuff for jack. i know it’ll match up later, but i disliked the lack of contact there. at least on screen, cas wasn’t informed about all the drama the others were going through, and like anael said, they didn’t know where cas was or what he was doing.

and also given this all happened apparently around the same time, and the episodes’ air dates (maybe) coincides with when they’re set, where WAS cas two weeks ago when he left dean and the bunker and dean said he left early in the morning? i assume he was going to meet anael, but how much time passed between then and this? idk

i loved that cas picked up earrings for anael though. and knew enough about them to know they were valuable. either he’s an jewellery expert or a geologist, or dean or sam are, and all of those possibilities thrill me

didn’t like sam getting hurt but the wORST PART was jack’s downfall here

oh no

dean’s relief after sam was healed, where he had to step back and turn around, that was... something. no matter how many times he almost loses the people he loves, it never gets easier for him, and it never will

damn that rock from the middle of the road that probably shouldn’t have been there

but also. how much of lucifer’s personality was just nick? because he’s basically the same person without lucifer. i’m really curious who lucifer is, because we don’t really know, do we? i mean, actions aside, the quirks of his speech and personality were seemingly all nick’s. (i think when sam was in the white suit, that was non-nick lucifer, except that was in an alternate timeline so who even knows.)

one more thing. a tip for the non-anxiety-ridden, non-autistic people out there. when a person is stumbling away from you with their hands over their ears/eyes/head, muttering about wanting the conversation to stop or the noise to stop or for you to go away, please, under no circumstances, go after them and yell at them and grab them

not saying jack should’ve done whatever he did, but mary definitely reacted in the worst possible way to a panic/anxiety attack, especially when jack is clearly dangerous to other people, not just himself

anyway. 06:21pm.

10/10, but would not recommend unless someone really wanted their heart ripped out

would have preferred dean playing mousetrap for 45 minutes and cas coming home early to find everyone had the correct amount of soul, and then letting dean teach him how to play twister, actual twister, not this twisted goddamn fuckery directed at my stupid emotions like this actually turned out to be

#14x17 #spn spoilers #game night #season 14 #Meredith Glynn #Elmie watches things #post of postiness

[sapphic-submission]

NSFW asks: 1, 6, 9 please. Thanks!

oo you didn’t specify which section but i’m just gonna take the liberty to answer it from all of them tbh

About You:

1. What is the size of your penis/breasts? - i’m like a 42DD?? i forget all the time but they are large

6. What type of underwear are you wearing? - basic bikini panties. they’re pink w orange stripes.

9. Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed? - i do not have a penis so no!

Masturbation:

1. Do you masturbate? - i do!

6. What do you think about? - hmm lately i’ve been into listening to audio so i immerse myself in that. my favorite is if it’s an fdom and they’re guiding me through a scene, whether it’s edging or multiple orgasms. oof. super hot.

9. Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating? - nope, neither

Relationships:

1. Are you straight/bi/gay/etc? - super queer. very gay.

6. Have you ever used an online dating site? - yep. i’ve had shit luck w them tho lmao. i have so many phone numbers in my phone but 95% of them have opted to ghost me. i’m not even bragging tbh bc it’s so frustrating.

9. Have you ever had a one-night-stand? - i have not! i really want to though, idk if that’s weird.

Porn & Sex Industry:

1. Do you watch porn? - i do i do, not that often though tbh

6. How do you feel about gang-bang porn? - hot. wish it were me. one of my biggest fantasies is just being used by a bunch of people for their own pleasure. like yes, fill me up, dump ur cum into me, i’ll take it all.

9. How do you feel about amateur porn? - love it! especially amateur lesbian porn. it’s extremely difficult to find lesbian porn that’s not catered to the male gaze. there’s also something just so much more intimate about amateur porn.

Sex:

1. Are you a virgin? - nope!

6. Who was your best sex partner? - definitely the last person i had sex with.

9. Have you received oral sex? - yes. love it. wish i was getting some rn.

Toys:

1. Have you ever bought a sex toy? - o yes, many

6. What kind of toys do you own? - a few dildos, a few vibrators, lots of bdsm gear that i can’t even begin to list it all cause idek lmao

9. Have you ever used a shower head as a sex toy? - some of my earliest masturbation memories involve the old shower head in my mom’s shower (:

Fetishes:

1. What fetishes do you have? - ok this is a new discovery but i think i have a fetish for leftys. my best sexual partners have all been leftys and whenever i find out a hot girl is a lefty i get a lil tingly LMAO.

6. Have you experienced BDSM? Do you practice it? - i have and i do. taking applications for the dom of my dreams who will put this lil subby slut in her place but also give her lots of praise

9. Have you experienced being tied up or restrained? Describe the experience. - i love being restrained. here’s a different experience that i’ve had. my roommate gifted me her under the bed restraints which i was grateful for since i didn’t have a bedframe for rope. i was cuffing myself and adjusting the length accordingly and once it was all set up i just kinda laid there for a bit. it was incredibly relaxing and i straight up could’ve fallen asleep like that lmao.

This or That:

1.  Vaginal or Anal - vaginal

6.  Handjob or Vaginal - vaginal

9.  Car Sex or Outdoor Sex - hMmMM depends on where outdoor. car sex is fun every once in a while though.

this was incredibly long lmao i’m sorry!! but thank u for your asks.

send me some numbers!!

#asks

[lesbehoesordietrying]

Get to know me tag

Rules: answer these 84 statements about yourself then tag people

Tagged by: @shippinggayandallthatjazz

LAST

Drink: water

Phonecall: my sister, my nephew wanted to say hello

Text message: “sorry im busy” , such a lie

Song you listened to: one call away- charlie puth

Time you cried:  today 

EVER

Dated someone twice: No 

Kissed someone and regretted it: have yet to regret a kiss

Been cheated on: nope

Lost someone special: Ya

Been depressed: also ya

Gotten drunk and thrown up: ya, i think my tally is like 3

Favourite colour:  blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends: yep im surprised too

Fallen out of love: i mean probably?

Laughed until you cried:  that is my life?

Found out someone was talking about you: i mean i have siblings? i KNOW i have been

Met someone who changed you: doesn't every human encounter kinda affect you?

Found out who your real friends are: ive always had “real friends”

Kissed someone on your facebook friends list:  yepity doo

GENERAL

How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life:  like 99%

Do you have any pets:  no, its a sad day

Do you want to change your name: not really im kinda attached to it.

What did you do for your last birthday:  drove to my brothers, it was in a cramped car with the fambam so not fun.

What time did you wake up today: 6am... my sister woke me to help with a test?

What were your doing at midnight last night:  probs dreaming

What is something you can’t wait for: working at my old high school, getting a dog and reading to it harry potter.

Last time you saw your mother:  today

What are you listening to right now:  the sounds of the dryer and the fire crackling, the sound of my typing aswell. 

Have you ever talked to a tom: yes?

Something that’s getting on your nerves: injustice in any form, someone assuming im stupid, life? 

Most visited website: Tumblr is my life 

Hair colour: brown or mousy brown?

Long or short hair: both? growing out an undercut is a bitch

Do you have a crush on someone:  define crush/ probably?

What do you like about yourself:  my humour, kindness and my eyes and my friends.

Want any piercings:  give me infinite money, i will be a walking piercing display book

Blood type: human

Nicknames: lil avocahoe, loz, loza, lozenger, churchill

Relationship status: Single 

Zodiac: Capricorn

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite tv shows: i mean have you seen my blog? wynonna earp, supergirl, oitnb, carmilla, one day ata time,  anything gay or political. 

Tattoos: none, i want them so baddddd

Right or left handed: right handed

Ever had surgery: nope

Piercings:  just the usual lobe ones

Sport:  softball (yes its a stereotype but im a good catcher)

Vacation:  i need one

Trainers: those things your run in? the only exercise i do is running away from problems

MOST GENERAL

Eating: a cheesy

Drink: i like coke no sugar

I’m about to watch:  the other side of my eyelids

Waiting for:  a smile that will stop me in my tracks

Want: money and love (im a cold money driven Capricorn remember)

Getting married:  not atm but hey any volunteers?

Career: teaching or psychology idk

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: hugs 

Lips or eyes:  eyes

Shorter or taller:  im not heightist :)

Older or younger:  similiar age to me is fine

Nice arms or stomach:  i mean both?

Hook up or relationship: whichever is more fun

Troublemaker or hesitant:  hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: yep

Drank hard liquor:  yesssss i need some rn

Lost glasses: i can see so no?

Turned someone down:  yeah, sorry dudes

Sex on the first date: not yet

Had your heart broken: Yep 

Been arrested: not as of yet

Cried when someone died:  yes to both reality and fantasy RIP Dobby

Fallen for a friend: unfortunately 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Miracles: nahhh

Love at first sight: idk?

Santa Claus:  i mean will i get presents if i say yes?

Kiss on a first date: can you believe in that? 

Angels: umm waverly earp? yes

OTHER

Best friends name: i dont have one, rude to bring that up.

Eye colour:  blue

Favourite movie:  the day after tomorrow, star dust and pitch perfect

Favourite actor/actress: Natasha Negovanlis, Elise Bauman, Anna Kendrick, Gal Gadot, i have alot okay.

Tagging: @practicing-reckless-optimism @alphashiver

#istherereally84 #i didntcount did you?

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I wanna grow my clit up to a bigger, meatier size, but I don't want to be called a man or look like one with facial hair or to lose my hips.

It sounds like I might have identity issues but I don't wanna leave what I'm comfortable with as being a woman. I like girly things and I like being a woman. As well as being with other women and also being pleasured and teased to where my clit could be inside another woman for insertion/penetration.

Cause I've always imagined wanting to feel her/them/He cum on me while also cumming in me as well. I want to meet someone who's trans and prefers females as their main priority to date.

Plus growing a clit would be so much fun to jack off with too and to trib (which I haven't done yet).

And watching a pretty woman's mouth just suck me like a lil hard, soft, gummy bear would even make my day. God I wanna get suckeddd off sooo baddd!

And for her/him/they to even caress me and then chew on it a little bit and fucking gulping my clit, my walls, and my pussy lips all at the same time to where they squeeze it so tight and make me cum even more by holding it, flicking it, punching it with their tongue

And then diving tongue first all the way inside me. Then riding my clit and I can ride theirs.

Fuck I want a sweet, honey dripping pussy to fucking cum inside of me. With our big fat clits slobbing and sticking our tips together.

This sounds so fucking gay to admit, but I'm a femme.

And I just want that dick sensation of getting stroked and sucked off till I cum like a man, without having to look like one. Because I love my face and my body as is.

I just saw someone on okc who admitted to have gotten phalloplasty, and I was bro I can't. I looked up the surgery and I never felt so much pain watching how far someone would go to get a fully functioning dick. The cum part would be fun too 😋 but I know that's possible, just a fantasy of mine.

I think someone would label what I want is kinda similar to being a lesbian mtf. Kinda like how Athena was. But I'm in-between androgynous tomboy and fucking sexy ass pink femme who likes dolls, girls, and gothic shit.

My childlike side is starting to come back out more. I think I'm still missing that person because I haven't found new friends or a new trans/nonbinary boyfriend/Partner to bond with romantically. I wouldn't mind a mtf either, but I really want to experience that vagina × vagina bromance that I've been missing.

Like two girls with lil dicks rubbing up on each other and making out accordingly and caring about each other, and going out on dates. And all the other things needed, but didn't get from my Past toxic relationships that were imbalanced on the romantic, soft and vulnerable intimacy parts.

[themariotheme]

okay under the cut..... is my dumb lil skeleton for my story based on the lyrics for frankie by alexandra savior..... read if u wish..... i haven't read or written in ages..... the last time i tried to read was yesterday and it was the plague by camus and i only got 2 pages in before i got distracted (because of the brainrot? let's blame it on that)

written 04.04.2021

//

Why am I latching onto this idea that I will surely not carry out to completion? I don’t know maybe ‘cause I nearly called myself Frankie instead of Alex. Jamie and Jordan and Max were on the table too.

This story would work even if it weren’t gay, Frankie could be whoever. They could even just be friends but where else will I get my subverted bury-your-gays trope? I’ll have to read books and I haven’t Read in ages, I don’t have brain cells.

//

Anna-Marie Mirage is an actress, but more like modern day Marilyn Monroe than Audrey Hepburn. She's not respected enough. 

She’s dating an actor named Dean. He’s a Clint Eastwood/James Dean/Humphrey Bogart type, he plays the Cool Hero Guy in movies. He’s been in mobster films, sci fi movies, westerns, etc.

He’s kind of an asshole. Anna-Marie thinks he’s cheating on her. 

The second act consists of Anna-Marie and Dean’s fights, and then her meeting Frankie.

Frankie is someone who is also in the industry, maybe not an actress, but maybe someone industry adjacent. Frankie and Anna-Marie get together. Maybe Anna-Marie asks for help from Frankie to find out info about the people Dean is cheating on her with.

The parallel stories mirror the occurring events, but they take place in universes from Dean's movies, so a western setting, in the mafia, and in space, but the story gets subverted so Dean, who would be the 'hero' in those stories typically, 'loses'.

The mafia one, Anna-Marie ends up hiring a hit on Dean and Frankie is the mercenary.

The sci-fi one, Dean dies by his own stupidity.

The western one, I think maybe Anna-Marie poisons him. 

Anna-Marie still steps in and solves whatever conflict the hero was meant to solve.

In the main story, Anna-Marie stays with Frankie behind Dean’s back, more empowered in herself and then the ending could be left ambiguous-ish? Or Anna-Marie dumps his ass and roasts the fuck out of him with all the info Frankie helped her get on his cheating ass as she leaves. 

(everything below was my attempt at Getting The Damn Story Started which didn't go anywhere)

//

As far as careers went, being a Hollywood actress comes with it’s fair share of pros and cons. Nevertheless, Anna-Marie couldn’t complain. Not publicly, anyway. It was all she could do to keep a smile on her face while her (male) costars shook hands and won awards for performances that were (worth less than?) half of what she could have done in those roles.

Even privately, though, she felt entitled for the resentment she held for the industry she chose to work in. She had been in films and worked with incredible people, people she respected. For all intents and purposes, she had “made it”. But the artist in her longed for actual roles. Not for lack of trying, but every character she had played was never the lead, it never her story. It wasn’t bitterness or the want for the spotlight, though, that drove her mad, she had no qualms about playing a secondary character. It was the lack of depth. Her characters' involvement in the story was almost always inconsequential, superficial. She was the sexy lamp. And it infuriated her.

There wasn’t any way not to sound cocky about it, but Anna-Marie knew she was a good actress. She was sure of her skill, but the opportunity to really become involved in a movie had yet to present itself, it seemed at points to be just out of reach, like her fingertips were grazing the side of it but it slipped by her tauntingly.

//

probably overexplaining my dumb thought process about the lyrics and story and thus making it uninteresting below:

[Verse 1]:

Babe, you got your villains' car//You got your sleeves rolled up//Anatomical heart

(Dean, mafia movie)

Babe, got your ten-gallon hat

(Dean, western)

Cinnamon toothpick//Lightning flash

(cinnamon toothpicks were popular in the 50s, so mafia movie?)

[Verse 2]:

Babe, you got your destiny//You've got your fingers crossed//You've got me so intrigued

Babe, you've got to make me come...//Back to your Battle Star//We better run along

(Dean, sci fi)

[Pre-Chorus]:

You got falling stars at your feet//

You got stolen from next to me

And the moment's gone back to sleep//

You got stolen from next to me

(cheating)

[Chorus]:

Say you gotta go//To a place I don't know

(cheating)

Well the ace in the hole//Is I've got a friend called Frankie

(in the "literal" story, Frankie has her intel on Dean's cheating ass, in the mafia story, Frankie would be her merc, not sure abt the other ones yet, but having Frankie could be Anna Marie's smoking gun, because Dean isn't the only one she has)

[Bridge]:

Submit to me//Your fantasy

And I'll endlessly//Maintain it...

(this one for if she gets back with him, playing along and "maintaining his fantasy" but actually having power in the relationship now) (but also like. she would end up dumping him anyway)

#ch's #personal #my writing #alexandra savior

[heromanvasco]

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Taken from meme: [x] ||No longer accepting||

Warning: This will get long and I will be very mad as I recount this story. Sorry for me getting really riled up about it, but ughhhhhhhhh I just can't. I have to tell the full story to really get the point across.

OKAY SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A PERSON. This person literallybecame the bane of my existence even though I didn't actually interact withthem in the truest sense.

Even though I wish for nothing more than for them to trip over arock and land on a pointy rock, I am still a bit grateful towards them. I'llget on that a lil later down the line.

Let's start with how I know them. As we may probably know, I'vestarted Tumblr rp'ing as an indie, with Haru Miura as my muse. A lot of theissues I have with tumblr rp'ing came about on her blog mainly. Ahahahathere were some hard times, but I stuck with it. I love Haru too much to justditch her, in other words. I'm a stubborn mule, what can I say?

Anyways, she's from the series: Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn! andthere are a lot of attractive male charas in the series. This fandom is justnotorious for the yaoi shipping. Like it's very hardcore. There are sometimeshetero ships too but not a lot of it.

Let's put it this way: I've been turned away many times with the'but my muse is gay' excuse. Like---- okay? Did I ask to get in their pants?No. Canonically, Haru is die-hard in love with 'Tsuna-san' so what now? Don'tuse that against me. B[

Again, lots of very attractive male charas... and these musesattracted a certain muse from the DNangel series. (yes the same one I mentionedin a different ask if you read that one) Daisuke has forever been ruined and Irefuse to even try to read the series because the situation just gave me somuch stress.

So the muse was set to a very young age, most probably the canonage. I forget if that meant he was 16 or younger. I don't know the series so Idon't know the age. Let me tell you, I have so many issues with the person. SO.MANY.

Where to start? There is the fact that even without eveninteracting with the muses to start, they'd instantly try to form relationswith them. Sending some suggestive memes or asks. You cannot just go to aGokudera and have Daisuke glomp him. It doesn't work that way? If you knowGokudera, you should know that he does NOT take kindly to people who act toofamiliar.

The mun could NOT understand for the life of her that mun=/=muse. They kept sending anons about why are they so mean? Be nice to that'Daisuke kid'. Um... no? How about you calm down a bit and actually try tointeract rather than jumping the gun? It was in their rules they wantCHEMISTRY. They want to take things slow and not jump the gun. You broke so manyof their rules. You kept sending in anon asks and even if they tried to talk toyou on im, you'd try to play all the pity cards.

I will NEVER EVER live down the fact that you told someone: I'mtaking medication because of you. It's because of you that I'm depressed so I'mtaking pills.

EXCUSE MOI!?!?!?!?!??!?? What is wrong withyou??????????????????? SHE ACTUALLY LEFT TUMBLR RP BECAUSE OF YOU. I LOST AFRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU. Then you have the gall to say that you never said it?I've seen the screenshots, don't mess with me.

I do NOT condone underaged things at all. Your muse is 16 andthere is no indication as to whether or not you (the mun) were underaged aswell. Of course people will be nervous about the way you kept trying to force18+ content on them. If you are underaged, that's illegal and that can makethings very complicated. People kept telling you they were uncomfortable withit, but all you'd say is: "Age is only a number!~"

YEAH? WELL, JAIL IS JAIL!

Now, I can think of at least 5 muses that I know were heavilyaffected by this person. I know for a FACT that at least 2 left because of themand their constant harassment. A very close friend of mine had to constantlytoggle between enabling and disabling anon asks because they'd send so many.

We don't understand how much anger and stress this caused me. Ireally detest seeing my friends bothered. Having two of them leave the rp sceneforever makes me so angry. They didn't really ever rp with any female muses.Only one that I saw and she was a space sheep alien... I'd show proof but theblogs have long since been deleted---.

Now, it isn't to say that they only targeted KHR muses. Therewere others too from DBZ, Jack Frost, Pitch, a final fantasy character (who Ican't remember), and many... many more.

If you didn't reply to them quickly enough, they would get madat you in im. They'd try to guilt trip you into answering quicker by sayingthings like they felt hated, why don't you like them? Are you avoiding them?Things of that nature. I've seen things of that nature from various people Italked to. I talked to a lot of people about their experiences with this mun.

You could see their ooc posts talking about how they felt and itsounded like this person just had a lot of self-confidence and perhaps trustissues. I know how that is. I felt maybe they were just misunderstood orsomething. IDK. I felt they could be given a chance to talk if someone tried toapproach them slowly. (more on this later)

Though I would look around and see all kinds of interactionswith other characters. Muns getting the same kind of harassments. It was evenWORSE when any of these muses interacted with a certain muse from the KHRfandom. Apparently the muses were dating? idk. Either way, Daisuke washorrendously jealous and territorial.

If you so much as interacted with that KHR muse or had anythingremotely flirty in thread, an anon was sure to tell you to back off. They'dgrill you with questions about 'how do you feel about them?' 'are you datingthem?' things like that. It's annoying. I saw those messages so much. That KHRmuse is sort of a main character so it's hard to NOT interact with them if youare in the KHR fandom?

Like what do you want? Chill out, boo.

I've seen many friends of mine just being harassed by anonsbecause they interacted with them. Hilariously enough that other mun didnothing about it. Even if people asked them to talk to that person. Make themstop harassing people. She apparently doesn't like drama and that's fine--- butif you are the REASON because a lot of the drama because your friend refuses tochill--- That is quite literally your problem.

I do not believe you are being a good friend if you allow suchbehavior to continue. Even if she had a reason to acting that horribly topeople, you could always try to explain to people so they understand. Whenpeople understand, they may be more willing to forgive. The fact that she didabsolutely nothing did absolutely nothing to help either of their case. In theend many people tried to avoid both muns.

I played a female muse so it was fine for me to continueinteracting with them though. I never got hassled by them. I unfollowed thatKHR muse the moment I saw that she went along with doing 18+ stuff with thatunderage muse. I personally couldn't do it. It made me think of something in myown past and it made me feel horrible. I still interact with them, but I don'tfollow em.

So I saw their condescending attitude on many blogs. This onepitch in particular kept getting hounded over why they wouldn't be kind to Daisuke.(We realize this is PITCH, yes?) They were getting hounded by anons over whythey wouldn't give Daisuke (a kid) a chance. Like, it's illegal, that's why.

They weren't replying quickly enough to the threads they onlydid in ask format. The person was getting upset with how 'slow' they werebeing. They had time for 'other people' so why were you avoiding their threads?Why can't you reply already? Then it happened: "I'll give you one morechance to thread with me."

Yes, that is what was sent. I'm dead serious. I got sent thattoo so I mean, yeah.

Let's move away from other people and let's talk about ME. As Isaid, they don't interact with male muses. The only muse that I could possiblyplay as (and was super duper attractive) was Shugarl. I had a lot of caps in mycomputer because I like his face.

I sort of rp'ed as him 2 years prior to that but it didn'treally last as the only friend I interacted with left tumblr rp because ofdrama. So I shelved Shugarl and the Knights from the 'Legend of the Sun Knight'series. So I was like okay why not.

They do know of me from Haru's blog, so I had to make analterego mun. I named them Jay. This version acts like Neo when she's justtired and done with the world. I had to pretend to be a new person. Iinteracted with a close friend who was hassled by Daisuke a ton, and then Iinteracted with the KHR muse that Daisuke apparently is shipping with. That'show Daisuke took the bait and contacted me.

It didn't take long. I mean if you look at how attractiveShugarl is, wouldn't you also bite? lol

Anyways, I tried to talk to them, but unfortunately at the timeI was really sick. I was on a lot of medication because of my gastritis. It wasmost probably stress induced but also because of my diet? When I'm stressed, Icrave spicy food. If you know those super hot fire noodles... let's say I livedon that for a while lol. So yeah it got bad. Just drinking water had methrowing up everything in my stomach. I lost 15+ pounds in under a month.

It was bad. My one medication had a side effect of extremedrowsiness. Let me tell you, EXTREME was right. I was constantly just passingout. So I wasn't around much to talk or thread. Let's say that started gettingthem mad.

Why wasn't I responding? Did I hate them? Stop ignoring them. Ikept having to sorta apologize for being 'busy' aka I was super sick but Ididn't want to admit that. I'm stupid like that, okay?

So I kept asking them how they wanted to interact. I didn't knowa thing about their muse so I asked for their about page. Or even a rules page.They didn't have one. Too much work. Okay no, they had an about page but it wasliterally like their url, the name, age, and gender or something. A very simplebio.

They told me to read wiki to learn about the muse. Are youkidding me? No rules because why do they need one? Mistake number 1. They keptsaying they read rules of many blogs but we know they didn't. They keptbreaking them. It was in Jay's rules to not pester them too much about activitybecause he was a busy college student.

Did that stop them? Nope. //squint

Now let me tell you, even if I was sick, I still visited tumblrevery day. So making them wait for 3-5 hours was too long. I was going to begraduating and I had finals. YEAH, I'M BUSY. I was also super duper sick. Iwon't be online every waking moment, please. Did that stop them from getting somad at me about it? Nope.

I told them that I felt that they were guilt tripping me becausethey kept lamenting over how people don't want to interact with them. They keepgetting 'bullied' by people. I told them that I felt they were guilt trippingme at the moment. They kept saying that they weren't before they blocked me.Then a week passed and they talked to me like 'sorry I accidentally blockedyou!'

Sure. okay.

So I was like 'okay we can thread but I want to talk to youabout how I felt you were guilt tripping me.'

INSTA-BLOCKED.

I'm not kidding. I got blocked by just that. Do you understandhow much my animosity spiked because of that? My blood was curdling I was somad.

So another like half a week passed and they say something alongthe lines of:

"I'll give you another chance, do you want to thread with meor not?"

"I already told you that I want to thread with you. Youkeep asking me this. This is the 5th time you asked me. How many times do Ihave to tell you yes? Do you not understand that I'm busy? I'm a collegestudent. I'm not always online. I also told you saying things like that isreally guilt trippy."

Insta-blocked. I was mad, so I went off so I can understand theblock.

Still.

After being blocked for the THIRD time, I soft-blocked them.They tried to follow me again and sent a message: hi! :) This time Iinsta-blocked them. Not about that life.

I love how they always started and talked with cat emojis. Bylove, I MEAN I HATE IT WITH A DIE HARD PASSION. It was like they cared fornothing that other people felt. It was their way or the high way. They couldn'tbother to learn to do anything for other people.

Don't get me started on the fact that they didn't tag anythingand they NEVER EVER CUT THREADS. NEVER. Do you know how hard it was for me tofind anything on that blog? One thread was over 100 notes long and it wasn'tcut. Let that sink in.

It was long.

I had them followed on Shugarl's first blog. Do you know what mydash looked like? It was one-liner 100+ note uncut thread HELL.

So in other words, I wanted to talk to them and be a friend.Someone that they could talk to. I tried to talk to them many times but theykept saying 'I'm feeling uncomfortable so I don't want to talk about thisanymore'.

Dude, one time all I said was: "I think you should tryputting up a rules page. A lot of people like seeing one."

"I feel uncomfortable so I want to talk about somethingelse."

.... wut. Like, WHAT? I was just... giving you advice? It wasthe start of our interactions too. I just-- what?

I kept asking them if they wanted me to write the starter andthey kept holding back like 'I want to talk it out first' because they didn'tknow my muse. So I explained to them and they kept asking stupid questions.

"So he's an angry human?" "I just told you he's a demon. Like, he’s a real demon." "Oh okay! :) So he's got special powers. He's got angelic powers?""No... I just told you he's a demon." "What powers does he have?" "He makes use of mathematical equations to summon blades and otherthings." "Oh okay."

5 mins later."Can you tell me more about his fire powers?" "... He doesn't have fire powers??? Are you even reading any of what I'msaying? You are the one who asked me to tell you about my muse. It's rude foryou to not be properly reading." "I don't feel comfortable anymore, so I'm going to go to bed. Bye! =^.^="

I legit felt like I got cancer from this person.

I'm so serious. I forever laugh how they tried to make mepromise to be nice to Daisuke.

"I can't promise that. Shugarl is a demon. He's not nice,but he can be nice towards kids sometimes. You need to make Daisukebehave."

"I can make him glomp him and have marshmallows!"

"He will literally kick Daisuke if you do that. I told youhe's not nice."

"He's such a meanie!"

"He's a literal demon."

It was like talking to a 5 year old.

So in the end, I tried to interact with them but they drove meso insane we didn't even get that far before I finally blocked them forever.

---

TLDR: I tried to give them a chance but I couldn't do it. Mypatience reached it's limit and I blocked them. This is the first and only rpblog I ever blocked to truly block them and not to softblock. All because ofthis person, the name 'Daisuke' makes me feel unjust rage, and I'll never everlook at DNangel the same way. I'll never even attempt to touch the serieseither.

#Anonymous ask #anonymous answered #Fatenet meme #Meme answered #answered ask #thanks for the ask! #Neo speaks