#Cuz there also comes a point in ur child's development where

[subconsciousmysteries]

boomers n X'ers are mad that millennials Gen Z have woken up to all the child abusive norms in our society and we no longer give our parents respect just because they're our parents and teh bibble says so.

We also woke up to the fact that their politically passive and materialistic youth, where they took out a bunch of cheap usury loans and did nothing to stand up against central banking, has destroyed the economy for future generations. they have the audacity to call us lazy conspiracy theorists and essentially gaslight us for noticing such things.

A friend once told me she thinks that boomers and gen X are competing with their kids in this weird gross game to prove they're more successful and better, and I have to agree. They show no empathy for their own children's suffering, it's a generation full of casual and normalized narcissistic personality. I think this is a direct consequence of their culture which didn't encourage them to question their parents and see the humiliation and abuse they faced as children for what it is, unlike our culture today does. They actually believed that parents had kids out of virtue and selflessness and that the kids were obligated to repay the parents, not the other way around.

I notice a lack of individuation from the parents in most of Boomer and Gen X individuals. a "children must obey their parents" mentality. or... replace "obey" with "please" or "impress". Anyone with this mentality is primed for the narcissism demon. They will feel the constant need to prove themselves to the parents, to prove that they're successful and more worthy of praise, because in their eyes the parents can do no wrong and it is always their fault if the parent is abusing them or neglecting them. Then they project this gross mentality onto their children.

#Realizing I didn't have to obey was one step to liberation #Realizing I dont even have to please or impress or make them think anything good of me ever... is the final step #It's your job to adapt to the individual your child is #Provided they're not a monster who's hurting anyone #It's not their job to impress you and mold themselves to be something you'd like to see #Parenting is a chance for spiritual growth cuz it forces you to accept things as they are instead of how you want them to be #You must tell the difference between what is in ur power to change and what isn't #Otherwise you will cause great harm to your child #And you must expand your tolerance of diversity #Cuz your child could be anything ... Many such things which are not to ur tastes and which would trigger u as a small minded individual #Only ppl with expanded perceptions can be good parents. #Ie people who understand “conspiracies” and the importance of risk taking and don't flip out and Worry that their child is emo #And have a life outside of being a worrying parent to keep u going if ur child runs away or dies #Cuz there also comes a point in ur child's development where #(usually around 18+) #If ur giving them grief about their choices to risk death... for the reason that You don't want to see them hurt or killed #U are selfishly stifling their individuation process #For most older parents it's not about the kid's feelings and the kid's individuation #it's about me me me my feelings my fears my comfort my hysterical reactions #Regardless of how they hurt my child with said hysterias #Anyway .

[thinslxx]

Question plz interact if u can

OCD TW

So basically, I have severe OCD like really fucked to the point of not being able to tell what's real and what's not (cuz od intrusive thoughts and rituals). When I was younger I first started to get intrusive thoughts and obsessive behaviour as in "something will happen if u change Ur bracelet" and random ass thoughts that I would obsess over. That's how it started but the issue is my cleaning rituals that are currently very bad and time consuming. But i sometimes look back and think where in the fuck did I get this. And then I pin pointed one instance where I was in a household of my friend that had family issues and she had pets too. No one cared enough to actually clean the house properly which I didn't care about ofc. I came to hang out and escape MY OWN household lmao. But anyways back to the topic at hand. I was in bed at her house, really late cuz my friend had fallen asleep. I was reading manga more accurately "Ten count" it's about a guy with mysophobia (?). And while I was reading just enjoying my time, one moment i was fine and the next a brand new✨ intrusive thought popped up and that thought was the first time that an intrusive thought was about cleaning/the cleanliness of the space I was around. Idk if it was like a trigger of some kind but this happens a lot, an intrusive thoughts connects and appears to what I'm doing atm. Thats when cleaning rituals started, at first I started being obsessed with hand sanitizer and felt like wherever people touched that it was "contaminated". But with time that eased and when it did thats when the washing/cleaning rituals started, from counting how many times I washed my hands to special ways I did it to showering and a lot more shit. Also all my rituals were HEAVILY done in private cuz I didn't want anyone to know. And literally a few years later I randomly wanted to re read ten count for the good old times of BL. And I was just chilling reading and then immediately a thought popped up and when simplified it literally states this "Ur OCD developed because of this manga. You faked it untill u made it. Attention whore"

And I just stood there for a second like hol up what😃. I'm pretty fucking sure a whole ass mental illness can't develop from that. Plus I was experiencing symptoms of OCD as a CHILD so before I even knew about that. And at the time the cleaning rituals were starting to manifest I later realised that the reason why I tried to mimick/create some type od cleaning ritual is because of an intrusive thought as well. It was that I didn't feel valid to have OCD without the cleaning. So another chain reaction. I consulted my therapist about it and she stated that usually rituals are created from intrusive thoughts. so an intrusive thought almost always comes first. Annnddd reading this made me realise how stupid all this is lmao. But it really hurts the intrusive thought about why my OCD developed. It makes me feel guilty and stressed and like I did this to myself and that. I'm a waste of time because of it. That I don't deserve anything and that I don't deserve help. But at the same time I'm professionally diagnosed (not only that but diagnosed 3 times by 3 different therapists all same diagnosis), I was told by my therapist that my OCD developed to to the sexual trauma i experienced as a child and the way I was brought up plus I know damn well that I'm embarrassed and that these rituals bring me harm. God I can even grow up to have skin issues and bone issues later in life cuz of the extent my cleaning rituals go and yet I can't fucking stop, no matter how hard I try I almost always come back to the start point.

Anyways i would really like to hear other ppls thoughts that are familiar with OCD or have OCD.

Lmao just realised that what I'm doing rn, that is seeking reassurance online is also a compulsion. My therapist mentioned this chain reaction once due to a diff situation bullshit bro, wow I love this disorder 😃

#thinn #tw #thinnn #thinnsp0 #ed #OCD #ocd #ocdawerness #thinspo #eating disorder

[yakocchi]

Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool  for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL

#kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #spoilers

[sugiwa]

So I reread a BUNCH of chapters from “what heroes do” AND LMAO I HAVE A BUNCH OF THEORIES and it’s like 12am. I’m gonna dump them here because i love your story and i love how your replying to all the comments and questions on literally ALL the platforms u have!! Ur so cool 😎. Anyway here are a bunch of thoughts I have cuz i have no life rip:

1. The whole “Izumi can control blood” is gonna be really important. It basically gives her quirk so many more options. She’s gonna become REALLY dangerous if she can manage to control it. Like she can take down nomus without even really engaging with them, or getting violent with them.

2. Because of that, i think during her internship she’s gonna concentrate on blood bending?? Edgeshot would probably want her to expand on her ninja skills lmao. And being able to control blood is pretty stealthy.

3. SO i think during the herokiller incident, she’s gonna take down a Nomu. This, along with the USJ incident, will make the villains realize that she’s kinda a problem.

4. BECAUSE OF THAT she gonna get kidnapped at the training camp. Also cuz Dabi wants her on his side against their dad. AND ALSO THE WHOLE HIGHER U CLIMB THE HARDER U FALL THING U HINTED.

Yep that’s it. I’m sorry this really is a big thought dumb with no regard to grammar or the fact that i have school tomorrow.

Can i also mention that i love how ur writing Endeavour. You get his character rlly well i think 🤔

OK THATS IT I LOVE U💗💗

I absolutely love this and thank you for the ask! 💕💕 Please do well in school (hopefully you finish soon and can enjoy the summer!)

So, I can't give the plot away too soon, but you are right on the first point. Izumi's bloodbending will be important, but there's a limitation to it that I kinda hinted at when she first used it. Edgeshot's internship will have her develop her quirk, but not in the way you think. Edgeshot brought her on because he liked the way she thought and they're going to be handling a case that will be important later on.

As for the Hero Killer thing, I'm of two minds on this one. Realistically, Izumi can't be in every fight, no matter how much she wants to be. She's taking on so much, that she needs to realize that she can't be spreading herself thin giving other people advice and doing things for them, when she still hasn't dealt with her own trauma. But, also because it's Tenya, she's going to be keeping a very careful eye on him because she doesn't want him to throw away his life for revenge. She basically told him last chapter that if he wanted the Hero Killer dead, she'd make it happen, but she wouldn't let Tenya become a murderer. Izumi needs to value herself a little more than she does. So, I'm still 50/50 on this one. I'll probably end up writing two versions and go with the one that makes most sense plot wise.

Ahhh, the training camp.....no comment on this one. 🙂

Also, I try really hard with Endeavor. I think he's a well written character, but I personally don't like him for understandable reasons. There are moments where you can really see he's trying, but we still haven't unlocked the extent of what he's done, especially when it comes to Shouto. Shouto, I feel like, doesn't see himself as a victim of abuse so much as a survivor (idk if that makes sense). Like he still hasn't acknowledged that what his father did to him personally should have never happened and for Shouto, he looks at what Endeavor did to Rei and says "that's the reason I can't forgive you," rather than also looking at his own trauma and saying "I was a child and you hurt me," which I think is so so sad.

It's part of the reason that Shouto and Izumi had that fight to begin with because Izumi very much sees Endeavor as an abuser not just toward her, but toward all her siblings. I think there's a line I wrote somewhere that went like "He didn't have to hit them to hurt them," which sums up her feelings. And to some extent, Izumi needs to reconcile with Rei too because Izumi's upset over the fact that Rei was supposed to protect them and instead ended up hurting Shouto, but also for kind of abandoning her when Endeavor declared her quirk worthless. Logically, she knows that Rei was focused on trying protecting Shouto and getting hurt by Endeavor because of it, but logic doesn't always coincide with emotion.

#whatheroesdo #ask #carpeenoctum #lol this got so much longer than i expected but there's a bit of the meta behind the story

[gayregis]

Hi good morning can we talk about twn ciri for a sec? There is something about the way she’s portrayed by the actress that just drives me CRAZY and I don’t know quite how to put my finger on it. I think she’s just so reserved and serious and haughty, whereas in the books she’s really playful and lively and exaggerated and just?? Has emotions?? And also I was spoiled by Peter Kenny’s fantastic accent for ciri and can’t think of her any other way. ANYWAY WHAT R UR THOUGHTS CUZ IM SURE THEY’RE GOOD

ohohoh yes. just as a prefacee and for context, freya allan (ciri’s actress) is 18 years old, and i am 19 years old, so to say i didn’t like her acting in twn isn’t me bullying or being harsh on a minor. in addition, i also don’t think her acting was bad. i think her acting was great, but it was just out of character for ciri, at least the ciri we know from the books... i do not think the directors treated ciri with enough weight as she needed to have in the narrative. like with yennefer, they gave her way more screen time and much less significance in the overall story, because the moments that they gave them to be on screen were just pure filler with no effect on the character development, relationship development, setting, themes... the audience never learned anything useful when they were on screen, besides lore about aretuza and cintra that would immediately escape their minds after the episode was done.

i know for a fact that this “out of character” acting for ciri (her being “so reserved and serious and haughty”) was a result of the directors and people running the show, and NOT freya herself as an actress. like with joey batey and anya chalotra i think, they got the short stick in this deal. they’re actors, so their profession is to act, but they don’t always get to decide HOW they’re supposed to act and portray these beloved characters. that’s what the director is for, right? to direct how scenes play out, to make sure the characters are in-character. and the writers are the ones that write the actors’ lines and the scenes they exist in, so “then it’s just like any other place,” or “who’s yennefer,” and other ridiculous garbage throwaway lines were the writers’ fault and not the actors. i just think it’s important to establish that even though yes, freya is an older teenager/young adult, she’s not responsible for a lot of decisions involving ciri and the character. plus since she is 18 and just got done being 17, i feel like this is the first time she’s actually been able to legally make her own decisions. 

plus in this topic, because i’ve never mentioned it anywhere before, i’d like to bring light to how it’s super shady of netflix to decide to hire an actress for ciri who is BARELY an adult actor, because child actors (as opposed to adult ones) are restricted by many different laws concerning how many hours they can work, etc. the fact that freya is 18 means that they can give her more work and disregard any regulations that may have applied to a child actor, and i think i literally read this from lauren hissrich in an interview, that “older actors are easier to work with than child actors” or something like this, that it’s difficult to shoot with child actors due to the immense restrictions. so although they phrased the casting choice for freya allan more in the sense of “well, we were GOING to cast someone younger, but freya was just so fantastic in auditions that we NEEDED her in this production” is suspicious to me, i think they did it so they wouldn’t have to deal with the headache of laws surrounding child actors (note that i do NOT doubt that freya is a great actress, i liked her acting, i mean look at the scenes she is in! she is actually acting, unlike henry cavill).

speaking of henry cavill, anyone want to mention his 19 year old girlfriend or his “opinions” on the #MeToo movement? no? my more conspiratorial theory is that they might have just wanted to get a barely legal actress for ciri because if cavill were to “do anything”... ahem... it would be less complicated for all of the legality than if he “did anything” to a child. i’m not calling cavill a r*pist but he has made his views on women explicitly clear, and a LOT falls under the umbrella of sexual assault and harassment. innappropriate comments, etc... i don’t trust him to respect women just as much as i don’t trust him to act.

that was a big preface that pretty much went nowhere, apologies... but i think it’s significant to look at the context around the actor or actress when they’re likely being a tad exploited on set. but yes, ciri does come off as super out of character to me in the majority of scenes she is in. it’s because her character was set up to be a white feminist fantasy of being declared innocent from the sins of her family because she feels bad about it, with her “being so privileged and then she finds out her grandmamma committed mass genocide and she has to realize that her royal ways!” instead of anything related to what we see in the books, of a vulnerable child losing that childhood and trying to cling to some sense of normalcy and family. they set her up as “a princess” and not “a child.” 

in the books, she’s just a child, and then geralt learns she’s a princess and teases her that she doesn’t look much like one, being lost in a forest with a snotty nose... she’s not introduced in a royal court surrounded by noble guests. i doubt that books ciri spent all of her time in court, either... according to the lore, she wouldn’t even be able to sit down and she would have to stand in calanthe’s presence (season of storms, the princes must stand in the royal court alongside their father while coral gets to sit because she is a sorceress... of course, this is cidaris and not cintra, but it still stands). she is a princess, but she has difficulty acting like one... it’s something i’d rather erase from my mind because it’s one of those “problematic points of canon that only exist because they live in a medieval society,” but it’s made clear that calanthe gave ciri the belt for misbehaving, multiple times. ciri is obviously interested in more childlike pursuits and acts outside of her station a lot. after all, she is the reason that their entourage got pulled into brokilon in the sword of destiny, because ciri fucking ran away since she didn’t want to be brought to and married off to prince kirsten of verden.

again on ciri’s age, she was 8 or 9 when we first meet her in the books, and 14 when we meet her in the netflix series. that’s a vast amount of difference in age, not only by years, but by development and experience. an 8 year old is a 3rd grader, a 14 year old is a high school freshman. i think that makes a lot of difference in not only how much agency a character is treated with, but how an audience views them. i mean, 14 is a good age for a YA novel protagonist - think harry potter or percy jackson. ciri in the netflix adaptation was set up more as someone relatable (to those younger watching) as she’s like the hero of her own story! she escapes from her evil evil evil pursuers and has this great power she doesn’t yet understand! whereas books ciri is meant more for an audience to feel like geralt toward - protective, parental, you find a child in the middle of the woods, and you’re thinking, “what’s with this... sassy lost child?”

sapkowski is also the master of a good character reveal. i think ciri, cahir, regis, even characters like vilgefortz, have these GREAT reveals as to who they were all along! surprise, surprise, there is no black knight of cintra, it’s just a young man paralyzed with fear and pain! surprise, surprise, the guy that knew a lot about vampires and lived near a cemetery and dresses in all black is a vampire (ok, this reveal is weaker... but you’ve got to admit, the actual reveal scene... alright). 

ciri had a GREAT character reveal in the books. since we see everything from geralt’s perspective, she’s just some child, she’s just some brat geralt finds in the wilderness, he doesn’t have ANY reason to feel any sort of way to her, and he practically adopts her and she feels safe with him. he recognizes her vulnerability as a child and does anything to protect her and guide her. this is what is meant by “something more,” their relationship from the beginning was something more than strictly destiny. destiny may have led them together, but it did not make them become family, they did that themselves. and later when geralt learns that ciri is the princess of cintra, the child surprise promised to him, does he even consider destiny as part of the equation. and this is actually what drives them apart, because geralt believes that he will and refuses to ruin her life by introducing her to the blade, and thus, death. because it’s not incredibly special that ciri is a child surprise, i wouldn’t say it’s horribly common, but it’s not like she’s the only one. and she’s definitely not the only child to be taken/taken in and raised by witchers. and geralt knows what being raised as a witcher is like, and he refuses to do that to her, because he actually loves this child as his daughter. and this is where the conflict stems from, because geralt spit in destiny’s face and said, fuck you, i’m not going to hurt this child. and destiny said, i’m going to hurt her anyways.

in the netflix series? the first time we see ciri... is in cintra! the surprise is RUINED!! child surprise, more like child already-revealed. the audience has no reason to watch anymore, because we already know who she is and what happens to her. they literally kill calanthe and eist off in the first episode, and then expect the audience to CARE about them during episode 4 when they adapted a question of price. in the books, dandelion telling geralt the accounts of the massacre of cintra was a heavy scene, it was a tragic scene, and you knew somehow that it was geralt’s fault because of how he had refuted destiny, you had the lore on your side if you had been reading the stories beforehand, you understood why this was happening and what has happened to ciri.

also side note, i sincerely think the massacre of cintra is better coming from geralt’s best friend, someone he’s known for years and trusts immensely, also a poet so his account is horrifyingly immaculate and it really hits that mark of chilling, rather than geralt just... idk being there? i didn’t watch this far but he showed up to cintra and calanthe threw him in jail? this makes no sense, why would she... anyways. but yes, dandelion is a character that serves to be there for geralt, so it makes sense for him to tell geralt about cintra because then geralt can respond and thus demonstrate to the readers/audience all of the emotions about it that he is feeling.

but yeah so to summarize, my thoughts are that ciri really comes off as a weaker character in the netflix series than in the books because:

they treated her as older and introduced her as the lion cub of cintra and not as just some child found in the woods, taking BOTH the “child” and “surprise” out of “child surprise”

they removed geralt’s paternal relationship to her and why exactly he is significant in her story, and hyped up the “destiny” thing instead, which came off as completely meaningless, not to mention annoying to hear repeated when there has been no significance developed behind the word. i mean, they cut out both brokilon and something more (i will NOT accept that scene as the ending scene of something more. that wasn’t a hug fit to pick your kid up from afterschool, much less a hug that you run towards your kid with when you thought they perished and you were responsible for it, when you risked your life just to maybe be able to see them again. there was also no dialogue, no “geralt, you’ve found me! after all this time! i knew it! i’m your destiny! say it, i’m your destiny? am i your destiny?” “you’re much more than that, ciri. much more.” so that sucked).

they chose an older actress for ciri, likely to evade having to respect their actors by working within the confines of child labor laws, but not only this, they treated her older in the narrative and made the viewer empathize with her instead of with geralt, the parent... ciri only is supposed to become a “relatable” character when she reaches 13 or 14, in blood of elves and in time of contempt.

they reduced the significance of how deep her trauma was from the massacre of cintra (she makes one offhand comment about how cahir had a bird on his head... that’s not gonna cut it for me. she’s so far experienced a total of zero nightmares about the black knight of cintra).

they gave her a bunch of filler scenes that had absolutely no impact on the broad story or her character development or relationships with other characters (doppler plot). they also made her arc surround unlearning being a princess and finding what epic powers she might have, and nothing comes from both of these points. she doesn’t develop any character because of these points, they’re just there for more filler.

a tad unrelated but: they made yennefer’s wanting a child more of an obsession than a goal the character just happens to have, and have sexualized her character immensely, moreso than in the books... plus the fact that they made her super appealing to the audience and to every other character including geralt from the start (she’s not someone who is icy at first, then warms up), makes me feel like we are never going to get ciri and yennefer at ellander. ever. i just can’t imagine it with this ciri and this yennefer from the netflix series.

#ask #ciri #the witcher netflix #the witcher #zireaells #geralt

[equizona]

ZONATALKS, PART 1

VENTI!NG POST, FUCKING READ IT >:(

Okay so, this is my venting post about how shitty our society is.

So point one

Black Lives Matter

Okay so listen up here ya little racist shittards >:(

Why the FUCK do you think BLACK poeple are BELLOW you? Why cuz your skin is pale and weak? Fucking cunts-

Anyways

BLACK LIVES FUCKING MATTER

And now dont get me wrong, I understand perfectly well that humans are a fearful creature. We fear the unknown and I know things we aren't familiar with scares us. But WE HAVE EVOLVED, y'all dont need to be scared of people who are literally the exact same as you.

And for my other point

JUST BECAUSE I DONT KNOW THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A KOREAN PERSON AND A CHINESE PERSON, IT DOESN'T MAKE ME RACIST SIMPLY BECAUSE IM WHITE

I want you to put a swedish, Danish and Norwegian together and see if you can see the difference right over the bat. I bet you cant you racist shit- anyways

JUST BECAUSE I CANT TELL WHAT COUNTRY YOUR FROM, IT AIN'T MAKING ME RACIST CUZ IM WHITE fOr fUcKs sake I ain't even completely white you fucking loser-

Anyways

BLACK LIVES MATTER

BLACK MEN MATTER

BLACK WOMEN MATTER

BLACK OTHER GENDERS MATTER

Because yes there is more than one gender and people can change their gender

PRIDE

Now pride is a very big community, and I just so happened to be within this community.

And now, stop being ffucking homophobic or transphobic people.

Now let me ask you, were you born with straight hair but you wanted curly hair? Or mabye you were born with brown eyes but wanted blue eyes? PEOPLE AREN'T ALWAYS BORN AS OR WITH BEING WHAT THEY WANT OR WHAT THEY FEEL COMFTABLS WITH

Meaning if you can change what you look like, they can change their fucking gender. And you can get your fUCKInG AsS oUT oF HeRE-

Anyways onwards to sexuality

FUCK OFF

WHO PEOPLE LIKE DONT HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH YOU UNLESS THEY LIKE YOU

AND IF YOU HAVE A HOMOPHOBIC BITCHY PERSONALITY, I CANT PROMISE YOU

THEY DON'T

So just shut up we dont want ur opinion we can simp for whoever the fuck we want >:v

Also can I just say, that humans are the only thing who dont support gay people? Gay animals is a thing, and animals totally support other animals liking the same gender, humans are just fucking retards

This being me to my next thingy:

Anti-vaxxers

YALL DONT GET VACCINED CUZ YOU DONT WANNA GET RETARDED?

WELL LET ME TELL YOU, YOU BEING AGAISNT VACCINES MAKES YOU RETARDED SO YOUR A BIT TO LATE FOR THAT AINT YA?

That's that, all I have to say

Anywats

SEXISM

Ah yes

Sexism

Which is still a fucking thing thank you

Anyways

I can totally understand where people where coming from in the past, they believed women were born weaker

BUT WE AINT

AND IVE BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF SO MANY BOYS LEMME JUST TELL YOU

So

Women are not bellow you men.

We are above you.

Because you had the audacity to believe someone was bellow you for something so fucking useless, we now have the right to see you as bellow us

But we wont uwu

As long as your not a little shit like I dont give no fucks bout ur gender if ur going to give me shiT-

Anyways

STOP SHAMING WOMEN FOR BREASTFEEDING THEIR CHILDREN

Abortion

Now listen up

People are out there breastfeeding their children and you guys make it seem wrong, you sexualize it and so much more

Lemme just tell you

If you do that, and your against abortion

Go fuck youself

Cuz your basically saying a mother should let her child starve because you can't be a decent human being and control yourself

So, if your against a woman "killing" a living being that hasn't even developed a brain yet, I want you to shut your trap about a woman doing her best to take care of her child now that it actually is a living being that has developed a brain and emotions

Got it? Got it.

Anyways

Not everyone is like that

But saying women cant get an abortion is wack

Women are people that have had lives, developed a brain and emotions, and either factors. A baby inside her womb that's under 3 months, has not.

Meaning the 'baby' is not a living being with emotions yet, the mother is. And yet you completely ignore the mothers emotions, that do exist, and chose to chose a being without emotions above that. Fucking stupid is what you are >:((((

NO

I AM NOT DONE

BUT THIS ISN'T MY LAST FUCKING POST EITHER SO Y'ALL BETTER STIP BEING RETRADS AND LISTEN TO ME >:V

FUCKING READ THIS, NEXT TIME ON ZONA-TALKS yes I'm naming it zonatalks thank you THEN I'LL BE BRINING UP OTHER FACTORS SUCH AS BULLYING

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk okay bye-

#blm #black lives matter #humans are fucking stupid #sexism #stop sexism #abortion #abortion is legal and good and okay #anti vaxxers #scared of being a retard? #you already are #fucking whores- #transphobic? #go die in a ditch #homophobic? #I'll cut of your dick

[normal-thoughts-official]

Question.... how might you fit Camille angst into Camboy AU? Or Asmodeous? You dont have to if you dont want to but I love angst

[pulls out fully prepared powerpoint] im glad you asked….

seriously tho, if you think that i don’t want to fit camille angst into this AU, ur an idiot. i always want to fit camille angst. come on anon, youre better than this.

anyway. AHEM.

warning ahead for descriptions of emotional and sexual abuse, transphobia, manipulation

ok so when camille and magnus got together he wasn’t doing cam stuff yet, but i’m thinking he was already considering it? like it’s something he wanted to do and had the means to and thought he could enjoy and make some money out of. i have mixed thoughts about his backstory here, like, maybe he was a college dropout? because he ran away from home because of asmodeus. and he had the support of maia - maybe they even ran away together since she also ran away from home? hmm - and raphael (who had lost his family and had been lowkey taken under magnus’ wing and so he left with him too?) and cat and ragnor whom he possibly met later? and he was in a new city where he didn’t know many people and didn’t have an income source and thus he was even more vulnerable to camille’s abuse. like he still studies the shit he enjoys and actually i have this half-cooked thought about how him, maia, cat and ragnor wanting to develop, like, some sort of substance to help clean the ocean but they don’t want to do it for a company cuz they want it to be easily accessible and not used for profit, so they kind of do it voluntarily together, and- i’m not answering the goddamn question what the fuck shit goddamn you stupid fucking brain youve been WAITING for this question

anyWAY when magnus first met camille he still wasn’t doing cam stuff, he was living with maia and raphael and living off gigs? and still considering going back to college at the time (but he ultimately decided that nah it’s not worth the debt when he is doing just fine being self taught). but he was still in a bad mental space and wasn’t very stable and that made him all the more vulnerable to her bullshit

she was actually the reason he didn’t start doing cam stuff sooner - he had the means and he wanted to, but. well, first of all, camille was a possessive, jealous girlfriend. she would do this thing where she would simultaneously tell him she didn’t find him attractive - from saying that no one else could ever love someone like him to more casual, offhand, even matter-of-fact comments about how of course he needs makeup, or just vague comments like “kissing you is so weird sometimes” that she didn’t expand on and left him to mull over - and think he would cheat on her with, like, anyone and anything, and being extremely possessive.

she wouldn’t let him go out with friends unless she was with him - and when she was with him, she wouldn’t interact with them a lot unless it was to be lowkey nasty and try to get them to pick up a fight. so eventually magnus started not wanting to see his friends anymore because it meant more stress and not a good time. maybe he even moved out to live with camille for a while? or she was just always there and kept telling him that his friends - especially raphael - were trying to pit him against her. 

and if magnus ever complained about it, she would say that this is exactly why she doesn’t trust him - because he keeps insisting on seeing them without her so much. what does he have to hide? and why isn’t her presence enough? if their relationship is not enough for him and he keeps wanting to be with other people without her, does he even want to be with her at all? does he even truly love her? if she’s not enough for him even as a friend, why would she be as a girlfriend? and she doesn’t deserve that humiliation, to be cheated on when she settled for him and gave him her all.

so obviously if he ever started doing cam shit, even if by himself, even if with her knowing, even if it’s not really cheating…. he knew she’d flip. she’d never let him. besides, she was helping him, right? she was rich and had no qualms about paying things for him, even if she was constantly commenting how embarrassing that must be for him. “poor baby, can’t even afford to look after yourself, need your girlfriend to help you so you can eat, huh?”. 

(it was embarrassing. not because she was a girl, but just because he never wanted to be a burden to anyone)

but anyway, if he had her, he wouldn’t really need to do something like this, would he? what would she even say? would she even want to stay with him, when he knew she found sex workers disgusting and laughable?

(there’s a little more to it, too - the comments about his appearance started to get to him. why would anyone want to pay to see magnus’ body, when his own girlfriend didn’t like it? when she needed him to make up for it?)

and well not to go on a tangent (altho it’s not really a tangent because it does apply to this au) but i do have this headcanon that i’ve been wanting to talk about but never had the energy to daouhsdaudas that camille gave him so much shit for being a bottom

like…. “what kind of man are you, who doesn’t even want to be the one to fuck? wouldn’t it be easier to just stay a girl?”. but not just that, either. also just thinking that the idea of a man wanting to be fucked by a woman is pathetic, ridiculous. she would never. and like, that is fine, because it’s not like magnus hates topping or anything, he just prefers bottoming. but he’s topped a lot before - he always wants his partners to enjoy themselves, after all, so it’s no big deal. so, you know, he’d top her, no problem

but with her, it always felt like some kind of test

during sex was the only time she ever praised him, except for when he decided to do what she wanted after they had some sort of disagreement or fight. but it was always full of these little humiliations - and not the good, arousing kind that he was into, no matter how many times camille told him to stop whining because she knew he liked stuff like this - like comments on his body, on his appearance, on his performance. the first time she saw him with a strap-on, she laughed and said he looked fake. “even faker,” she commented, and didn’t elaborate, but then was extremely offended that he would ever think she was talking about his transness, because she would never say something like that, she never had a problem with him being trans. why is he even with her, if he doesn’t trust her enough to know this?

not to mention sometimes she would just- recoil. not want to hug him, or cuddle with him, or any kind of touch really. but when he tried to fuck her, to make her feel good - that she wanted. slowly sex started being the only kind of affection or touch that he got, so he wanted to do good. to make her feel good. so she wouldn’t stop wanting to do that, either. he already knew she cheated on him sometimes - she just needed more. he wasn’t enough. but at least he was good enough to get to be with her in that way, and he really, really didn’t want to lose that

well, eventually it got to a point where he couldn’t do it anymore- just got so depressed and dysphoric and desperate camille pretty much threatened to kick him out if he didn’t stop being such a slack, and he said ok. he’d leave. he was done. he couldn’t be happy like this.

she let him go with a string of venomous words about how she wouldn’t miss him, and how he was nothing without her. and then he went back to maia’s and raphael’s, embarrassed and terrified, with apologies on his lips, as well as the promise that he would leave soon, he wouldn’t burden then for long, he just didn’t have anywhere else to go right now

when they saw him at the door, they hugged him so tight it was like breathing for the first time. it was one of the only times he ever saw raphael cry

“we were scared we wouldn’t see you again,” they said

maia was scared the next time she heard about him, it would be about his funeral. she was almost in that place, once upon a time

they put him in a blanket like he was a traumatized child, and raphael made him the hot chocolate magnus used to make him when he was in need of comfort. and they helped him get back on his feet

it took him a while to consider doing cam stuff again, because- well, first of all, he needed to heal. second of all, he was living with raphael and maia now. and third, he still thought it was a silly idea, that he wouldn’t get any clients, that he wasn’t attractive enough, and he definitely wasn’t good in bed enough for anyone to be interested in watching him. you know

but after some time he started considering it again - it’s way better than retail or living off gigs and the 3 of them are a little more stable now. and then maia introduced him and raphael to meliorn, and him and meliorn talked about it a little bit - meliorn was very open about being a sex worker and didn’t mind helping magnus at all, teaching him a few things to watch out for, how most sites work, and recommended him the one they worked at, which had a trans men category. and his interest grew.

he filmed a few things when maia and raphael were out at work, but was hesitant to upload it. one day he did, and- well. it got him some money, and even a few subscriptions, which he really, really wasn’t expecting

so he started putting up a few more when he could, and eventually with that plus the money he had been saving he managed to save up for his own apartment - it was small and in the same building/neighborhood as before, so he was still close, but now he had more space, you know. it helped him get more comfortable

not that it was a secret, raphael and maia knew about it and didn’t really care, beyond raphael’s usual disgust at all things sexual. but they were supportive. so all was cool

and that’s when cam stuff started being his main source of income, until he dived into promoting it and getting clients deep enough for it to be his only source of income. in a way, it helped him feel a little more attractive and realize that, well, people liked his body. it’s just camille who didn’t

still, camille was one of the main reasons why he didn’t want to do feature videos for a long time - when it was just him, he was in way more control. no one could hurt him. no one could get to him. no one was actually there to know how good he was performing, he just had to look good. but with someone else it might be different. and then he would feel like a fraud, and lose his followers and money. idk if anyone even still remembers the original post but i mentioned in it that when he started talking to alec, he didn’t want to make feature films, they just started talking, became friends, then eventually did a feature video and fell down that rabbit hole. so yeah, that’s why

and then there’s the usual, you know - magnus thinking alec wouldn’t be attracted to him because hes trans, wouldn’t have enjoyed having sex with him. when they finished their first vid he was like “wow alec is such a great actor” but in reality he had just fucking blown alec’s mind with the absolute best sex he’s ever had in his whole life. and alec’s definitely not inexperienced in this au

alec isn’t his first after camille - meliorn is, i also mentioned them having been fuck buddies before he met alec - but it still blows his mind a little bit how sex with alec feels just. good. natural. like he really allowed himself to get lost in pleasure and not have that ever-constant presence in the back of his mind telling him he needed to do better, to do more. and alec was just so respectful to him and never pressured him into anything and just touched him all over without shame and it was so good because with camille she barely touched him, she wanted him to do all the work

not that meliorn wasn’t good or amazing either, but with them it was scratching an itch, and there was still that pressure he put on himself even if meliorn didn’t. but with alec there was just this connection, it worked in a way it hadn’t in a long time. which was shocking, because he definitely, definitely wasn’t expecting something like this from a cis white guy

but then again he wouldn’t have ever agreed to do this with alec if they weren’t already friends and close enough for magnus to know he was nothing if not respectful, caring, and willing to learn

but there’s some point you reach with abuse where being abused just feels natural and like a relationship should be. after a while, the abuser logic gets to you. it starts to make sense. and then you get in another relationship, and that logic doesn’t apply at all, and they don’t even think about doing the kinds of things that the abusers did. and something just clicks. like even if you did understand that what the abuser did wasn’t cool or acceptable or deserved, there’s a sort of understanding it that only comes when you re-experience an actually good relationship again, and remember, after so long on focusing on the bad things, what the good things are like. and alec was definitely that for magnus in all universes, that breath of fresh air, that feeling of wonder at being genuinely cared for and respected, and realizing you won’t settle for less anymore. that’s the feeling of starting to heal, when you get to experience that but you don’t take it as “wow they’re so perfect and different from the others”. they’re just how it’s supposed to, and can be.

and alec just so happens to be almost perfectly compatible with him, both in and outside of sex. and it’s amazing, in a way he hadn’t dared to hope for, or believe in

so yeah. that’s what i think about how the whole asmodeus/camille ordeal affected his story, and his future relationship with both his job and alec, later.

#this was 5 pages long on word i need help #im sorry it took so long i truly loved this ask i just didn't have the energy to do shit #but hey at least i answered it! only 16 more to go! #doausdiajdnsa #im SORRY #anyway #ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #malec au #malec fic #malec ficlet #smut #trans magnus bane #trans magnus smut #camboys au #overflowing trashcan #maia roberts #raphael santiago #brotp: ill do whatever it takes to protec them #meliorn #camille's trash party #camille belcourt

[luckysliceofbread]

Me and my friends were in a video call in google hangouts, then we just made a story that made absolutely no sense. So here it is, in all of it’s glory.

The new planet of the one that has been the last of us since we go out of it for a year of the next one see me as the first to get to see what it is that your life is an all the rage of a movie and a lot is happening to the planets.

Once thats have a good reason why you should be mad at the right guy and mrs to see it is wrong and that you can not make a good decision to be in order.

Heyward has to e be in the yes Waifu and mrs in order and be.

Me HAS NEW HAIR and im worried about the new stuff shes a demon like me and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of the class and i know you love IT when i wanna wanna play with u i guess since the new stuff shes a demon like me to come around the world and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest things to make you taller.

Has me to get to a good yes and but it I can do it all the.

And also i have a little pp to the queen Amanda is a thing with friends and family to the point where i am sad face id for roblox girls are not real. Life IS A and i think she lost her mother and married his sister in in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up as well well on a math test I dont wanna go to a voice call cuz why not a monster dont fight for u girls meme Gorillaz and im not changing it is ok with your mom and dad do u have a bath to go to school today but yes.

Needs be with sister in law enforcement angencies to the hospital in order for a child BECOMES pregnant with Him in order with the sister in law enforcement agencies to make babies to go and harpoon the sun and kill the pregnant child.

AND U DIDNT KNOW I dont care about the answer is packing peanuts to the queen's birthday is my kawaii and the the new stuff shes a good day on the pc you wanted me to come around the world nightcore drama and my mom to in law enforcement agencies to get dressed and i think im playing fnaf ucn voices in my the game would not work out of my way to the point if i touch it it will be heal and im worried about the new stuff shes a demon like me and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest things to make you feel dumb right to 5th and im worried about the new stuff shes a demon like me to do your hair grow up in the finest of a Bee Hive and my sister in law enforcement agencies and my mom to in the morning of a Bee Hive and my my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest things to make you taller and im not looking for some REASON the new stuff shes a demon like me and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest things to make a gacha life Easter to the BREACH QUEEN'S FIRST GACHA LIFE IS A SCAMMER DONT GIVE HIM MONEY FOR A LONG WHILE I KNOW I HAD TO SEE YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF TO ME AND I DONT HAVE TO GET OFF AT THE END OF SCHOOL AND I ASK MY BROTHER HOW DO I DRIVE THIS THING THAT YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF TO THE HUMAN BODY POOP9 I WAS ON THE NEWS AND MY REAL CRUSH ALONE IN A TANK AND I ASK MY BROTHER HOW DO I DRIVE THIS THING THAT YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF TO ME THAT WAS LAST 97TH AND I ASK MY BROTHER HOW DO I DRIVE THIS THING THAT YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF TO ME THAT YOU CAN COME OVER THE MALL IN A TANK AND I ASK MY BROTHER.

And I am not dun and i think she lost her job is the frist of the angles and my sister in law enforcement agencies and my mom to in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest things to make you taller and im not changing it is ok with your mom and dad do u have to go to school and im worried about the new stuff shes a demon like me and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive and my my sister is not going anyway I know how to make bloxburg tomorrow and im worried that was the brat and i need ur help with your chit and my sister in law enforcement agencies and i need to check the time I got it is ok with you are welcome to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee sting the new girl in my new school is better then mine and my sister is a thing with me in plastic and my sister in law enforcement agencies and im not changing it is ok with your mom and dad do u have to see you were up at ten or so i started the new stuff shes a demon like me and my sister in the omg corecollection sorry I know your not awake at this work is the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of the girls come along with me kitty 3rd of January u can come over and i think she lost her mother and married his sister perish from my home so all i have free pets and my mom i have to 99oko997th to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of the angles to a voice call me back opining on a math teacher night gown to go 7th and my and i had six pineapples.

Yet to be prince Elizabeth was the most popular of all girls to get the Boi of his Dreams but the boi of his dreams wants a person with A Cute and Prince Elizabeth has to wake up to go to get a teacup for the garden party with the Boi of his Dreams to get divorce with A Cute but he is in love with the Boi of his Dreams and Prince Elizabeth is very rage so Prince Elizabeth went to go and get K NIFE in order to kill A Cute so the Boi of his Dreams will love him but then the Boi of his Dreams finds some high quality H2O and drowns Prince Elizabeth so he can get fame and popular.

I dont have to go to the queen Amanda is it ok with your mom and dad do u have a bath to go to school today but I know your not awake at the finest things to make you feel better then my risks of a bitch and my sister in law enforcement agencies and im worried about the new stuff shes wearing a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of 30th to go to school today and i think she lost her job is the frist of a Bee Hive of activity in the fjn,finest in my new school is better then my risks of a Bee sting and my sister in law enforcement agencies to the point if you like me and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of the angles to a new school year later then my old school today poopy though that i love her finery and and Srew is the frist of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee sting and my sister in law enforcement and my mom to in to in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest of the plight of activity and i point where 76th thing with friends are looking for you and what do u do you have my number one of the royal high developer with your chit and i know you love it so far this as to be dead inside of activity in the finest of a Bee Hive of the class in my sister in law enforcement agencies to the point if i touch it it will be to the point if i touch it it is not the finest finest things to make you feel better soon T eacher and my sister in law enforcement agencies to get dressed up in the finest of a Bee Hive of activity in the finest things that u are a Bee Hive of activity in the brain oop and i died.

Congrats to whoever reads the whole thing you just wasted a couple minutes of your life.

The end

#cursed shit #cursed story #PINAPPLES #google hangouts #stories with friends

[lordmongoose]

shit, the current anime season is ending.

well, uh

guess i’ll

y’know

A Thing About, uh... How Not to Summon a Demon Lord, I guess

spoilers

short summery get it cuz it was a summer anime and now it’s not summer anymo

It’s an isekai. There’s a guy who’s, like, the most powerful fucker in all the land in this MMO he plays, and he mostly just hangs out in some dungeon killing all the other players who keep trying to take him out.

Then he goes to bed, wakes up, oh shit it’s another world, etc etc.

Fuckin’ isekais, man.

Yes, he’s his character from the video game. Yes, he’s ridiculously overpowered. Yes, the world is the MMO world. sorta. iunno.

Before him (genuinely don’t remember his actual people name) are 2 kawaii-ass girts, who, uh... Summoned him, I guess? Thing is, he’s got thing ring that reflects literally all magic. Got it as a reward for being the first player to defeat some big raid boss. So, the two girls cast enslavement magic on him, figuring he’s a demon or whatever, but that shit gets reflected and now they’re both his slave. Slaves. Iunno.

Thing is- and this is basically the only reason why I kept up with this show- the guy’s completely fuckin’ inept as a person. He can’t talk to people for shit, but he can roleplay as an evil demon lord asshole. So, at the risk of being uncovered as a socially inept fuckula, he be’s all like, “sup bitches y’all thought you could enslave the daemon lorde diablo fuck that noise y’all’re mine now alright now what the fuck’s going on.”

The two girls, a catgirl named Rem i think and an elf girl named Ce-Cel-

Shera, that’s what it was. Shera.

They give him the lowdown on stuff. They all sign up as adventurers, what with Diablo being level 150. The deal with the isekai world is that most people don’t want to fuckin die, so there really aren’t too many people who’re higher than like level 30.

A bunch of people be all like, “dude, fuck this demon lord guy. who the fuck he think he is. shit he just fuckin blasted all my steez into oblivion. well.”

meanwhile, the girls are just sorta like “ay diablo what’s large, round, and rhymes with anime tiddies. surprise, it’s anime tiddies.”

except Rem doesn’t have large anime tiddies. You’ve seen the scene where a girl is all, “oh no i don’t have ooki oppai. this is so sad alexa play renai circulation,” so, like, there’s no point in going over that.

Turns out Rem’s got a fuckin demon lord inside her. No, it’s not the main character. Yet. Her fam has been cursed to carry the demon lord Krebsklumnmmmnmmnm, and she wants to deal with that shit cuz she’s sorta doomed to just die and/or condemn her child to the same fate. rip.

Diablo, being the upstanding gentleman that he is, swears that he’ll use his immense demon lord schlong power to fix this whole demon parasite situation.

Someone from the mages guild gets pissed at Diablo being rude and tries to kill him. He gets his shit pushed in, etc etc.

Note: I don’t actually remember if this is the order things actually happened in. So, y’know.

Some other guy, proclaiming himself to be an ally to all women, vows to free Shera and Rem from Diablo’s enslavement. Naturally, being a man who proclaims himself to be an ally to all women, he doesn’t actually fucking listen when the girls tell him that it’s not a problem and the whole enslavement deal was an accident. He gets his shit pushed in and then they all become friends once he realizes that Diablo is also an ally to all women or some shit i don’t fuggin kn

Shera’s brother shows up- wait no

The mage man that got his shit pushed in starts a demon invasion cuz he’s salty. Diablo blows the demons up. Woo.

Shera’s brother shows up and is all like, “Hey Shera, y’all wanna make an incest baby?” to which Shera be’s all like, “fuckin... no?” so he gets pissed and leaves, vowing that he’ll be back for her.

Like a day later, he’s back for her. He plays a flute and suddenly she’s all, “y’know what onii-chan that incest baby plan sounds pretty solid right about now let’s head back to the elf kingdo-” also btw shera’s the princess of the elf kingdom and her brother is here to retrieve her that’s kind of an important detail “-m.”

Diablo gets PTSD from the ordeal, cuz he’s kinda gotten attached to the girls and shera just sorta swooced on outta there y’know. He soon realizes that the flute is a literal rape whistle and has mind control powers over Shera. Maybe others, but specifically her in this instance.

Also, earlier, they got a mission to stop war with the elf kingdom.

So, Diablo and friend go to save Shera. Shera’s brother’s startin to get all, “ay shera i’m gonna poke you stuff,” and she’s all, “no don’t” in response but he don’t fuckin listen. 

Then Diablo shows up at the elf camp, and Shera brother is all, “hey where’re the guards how’d you get here,” to which Diablo be’s all like, “bitch,” and turns shera brother into a pancake. Not really, because Shera doesn’t want her brother to die, but then her brother summons a hydra to kill Diablo. Diablo kills the hydra, everyone is saved.

Then the royal guard shows up. Turns out, the guy in charge whose name I definitely remember wants war with the elf kingdom for reasons. So, he decapitates Shera brother. Yup.

The royal guard leader is actually pretty friggin’ tough, being almost at Diablo’s level, but Diablo doesn’t suck, so royal guard man gets his shit pushed in and Diablo be’s all like, “Fuckin’ stop. I’m gonna blackmail the shit out of you with the fact that you tried to start a war, so just go back to yer fuckin castle and eat all yer shitty cheese or whatever.”

Then a demon girl shows up and be’s all like “ay, I know how to get that demon outta Rem.” So they, as well as this royal guard girl that they’ve known for a while shit i forgot to mention that earlier all go to a tower. Also I forgot to mention that Diablo learned how to dispel magic by using him magic to find magic and then de-magic it.

Then, some royal guard asshole with mystic eyes of distortion shows up and tries to kill Diablo and friends because he thinks he’s the weapon of god or whatever. He’s fuckin terrible. They push his shit in and move on.

So, they get to the place and also the plan is to flood the demon lord in Rem with magic until it revives, at which point Diablo will kill it. Sound plan. 10/10. Fuck it.

So, Diablo floods Rem with magic. Doesn’t work, so the demon girl is all, “you can flood magic better from within.”

to which Diablo responds, “wait, like, how ‘within’ are we talkin here?”

“you must put ur hand in her girl bits”

“mmm, right”

So, diablo puts his hand in her girl bits and fills her with magic shut up and the demon lord becomes revived. It’s a smol girt. She likes biscuits.

The demon girl what proposed the plan earlier is confused, but, like, the girt is the demon lord, so I guess mission accomplished? Another demon man shows up and is all, “wait shit this ain’t the demon lord she didn’t fully revive I’m gonna kill her and retry.” but then diablo just sorta pushes his shit in and they all go to town and have a nice non-sexual sleep.  One detail of that last sentence was a lie. Guess which one it was. Vote now on your phones.

Boom, the royal guard girl was evil. She hates the mortal races and wants the demon lord to be fully revived so that she’ll destroy them. They’ve named the demon lord girl Krem, btw.

The religious asshole man from earlier kidnaps Rem and Krem with Alicia (royal guard betrayal woman)’s help. Religious asshole man tortures Rem with swords and almost kills her, so Krem explodes with anger and kills the religious asshole man fucking god finally.

Diablo fights Krem. Krem gets her shit pushed in, comes back to her senses, and etc. Everyone lives happily ever after and Alicia doesn’t get killed because even though she tried to initiate genocide, she’s got a real swell rack.

Only men can die.

Anime wasn’t a mistake guys i swea

They try to tell her that she needs to stop being a little shit and let go of her PTSD past or whatever. And then she’s just off somewhere. Yup.

The guild leader doesn’t trust Krem because she’s the demon lord, so Diablo enslaves Krem too so that she’s under his authority which is enough i guess fuck it.

Someone’s going to jail for this.

It’s... Neat, I guess. I wouldn’t call it good, per se, but hot damn if there ain’t some real cathartic shit in this. Diablo is, as a rule, stronger than literally everyone else in the entire world, so it’s just really satisfying watching all these asshole try to fuck with his peeps and then getting their shit pushed in.

Also, the development of the relationships between the characters is oddly well-done. There are a lot of anime that’ll toss some girl at a guy and she’s immediately smearing herself all over him, but that isn’t necessarily the case here. Iunno.

7/10. I enjoyed it a fair amount. It was pretty good filler in between, uh...

Boruto and Chio’s School Road. Shit, I shoulda done Chio’s School R

#Alex's Anim Revyu's

[bastard-man]

s13:

hi okay i kept talking in the tags on my last post so here is more about s13 predictions ig

like i said we all know den literally can't function without mac it's been proven several times in the show

CLEARLY in mac & dennis break up

& my thought is how this will affect s13

so like,,,they're lying if they're gonna try & pretend like dennis can actually cope w/o mac if anything i think he needs him more than ever rn. even if dennis miraculously developed quickly & amazingly enough 2 be a dad that doesn't change how much he depends on mac. boy couldn't live without him in s5, and he was still like, okay then? obviously none of these characters r okay but i've seen only a few ppl mention dennis in the latest seasons. consequently mac seems happier this past season especially now that he's out which is great (i mean then u have DDL & then that kinda shattered but let's not mention that rn) but like we know dennis has been like,,,ragin' a lot more & he was diagnosed in s10 & we haven't really seen him happy in awhile like compared 2 earlier seasons when he seemed more calm & happy. what he thinks he needs is to leave his old life behind but what he actually needs, probably, is the gang rn more than ever but ofc he's not gonna admit that! so he run!

there's a number of reasons why i can't see them letting den be gone for any length of time but the main one being that it just doesn't make sense? like frank said u can't just go be a dad & he was right, & even if i think dennis could be capable of that it's obvious he's getting Worse & to be away from his friends, his family rn is not gonna help that, especially when we know he would be miserable in ND which is literally essentially what he says in 10.01 when he gets off the plane. i'm not a dumbass who thinks he's a sociopath & i know he has big feelings but i still don't see this being a situation where a child is magically the thing 2 crack dennis & fix all his problems

so like, there's my argument based on just the POV of the setting. now let's go back 2 den himself. like i said it definitely seems like he's getting worse, & him admitting that he has feelings was a huge, pivotal thing for him especially to admit that to the entire gang. from there they could use that to finally get den's character to open up a lil more & not try to suppress everything which i think is essentially why he seems worse? he wants to be one way & not feel & it's affecting him as it has over the years. we also know from mac, that he's been distant w him. whether u ship them or not they have a connection that's different from all the rest. so mac senses that den is acting different& like pushing him away, & we know it's not bc he's gay cuz den always knew that. this is where theories come into play, cuz it could have to do w den's feelings & trying to push the gang away so that he can pretend everything is okay which i think is a reasonable guess, or if u wanna add another layer to that there's also been the mention of him being uncomfortable with mac being out because now he's scared of mac's feelings & his own feelings.

it could be bc of the thing b/w them, or just the different connection that they have, but mac is the only one who says anything about dennis being distant. so is he only being distant w mac, or do the others just not notice bc they're not mac? either way mac is the one who notices & he's gonna be the first one to notice things going on w dennis. den has been like on a downward spiral almost & i think the RPG & brian jr just brought that to a head, & he runs, supposedly 2 deal w the latter. (i'm sorry i'm referring 2 a fuckin baby like it's a war crime but i don't evenl like them anyway so it's fine)

like depending on how u wanna interpret it, RPG=dennis realizing how he feels about mac, or how mac feels about him, or just the fact that he was all upset about vday only 2 find out mac got him what he wanted more than anythin & it didn't even matter 2 him that there wasn't a rocket bc it was the gesture so i mean interpret that how u will but FEELINGS

& then brian jr=who he apparently knew about but only becomes a problem bc mandy all of a sudden decides 2 show up & also thinks he's someone else so i really still don't understand some of the logic behind this event but anyhow. he's like noticeably v on edge this ep bc he literally had no idea how 2 get out of it & then all of a sudden he's like wait no i don't want to, but that's not the only thing? pretending to be in a relationship w mac & mac telling him he wanted 2 fake it & raise the kid w him was obviously also adding onto that & still his response was "im not gonna PRETEND to be in a relationship w u for the entirety of my child's life" so again interpret that how u will but...obviously we know he decides 2 go raise brian jr

but he's not gonna be able to do that. not bc he's not capable. i'd like 2 point out he left everyone & everything behind including his RPG & his beloved range rover, so i mean he prob left everything at his apartment too. (i have some theories bout this but it is not the time for those) like his car. is still in philly. his decision is made essentially on a whim after a moment w his kid & like an existential crisis while his friends danced around him bc up until that point he just didn't wanna deal w it

so it could've been like a few hours b/w those scenes but it's still a pretty impulsive decision considering it's a child, a new state you don't even like, a lovely woman ur not interested in, and leaving your friends, family, job, and entire life back in philly. maybe he also thinks it'll help him w his feelings. but he's been repressing shit for at least 12 years that we've seen (we know it's been longer like prob his whole life) & noticeably been getting worse, gives a sudden revelation to his friends about his feelings, & then leaves. that's not...okay. like we know they all have trauma & ridiculously unhealthy coping mechanisms but even if u take everything else away he's not gonna be happy having suppressed all his emotions and problems & then leaving having barely dealt with them w the others at all.

especially mac, who's a huge part of this which u can't deny even if u don't ship them. now i do so like my comments are gonna sway a bit more but i think it'll still work even if u don't agree w me on that aspect. personally i think there could be some sort of parallel there about how mac has gotten happier, while dennis has been more unhappy? like mac comes out & u could even argue dennis being jealous & acting that way bc he wants 2 come out & he's been suppressing that for so long but he's still not at a place rn to do it. or even the fact that mac feels more open & free to be himself while dennis feels the complete opposite & if anything has felt like repressing things even more, while mac mentions being sensitive (12.08 hints he feels more free 2 be sensitive now that he's out & doesn't have 2 worry about being so masculine so that he won't be called gay) & dennis mentions his big feelings but he's still not rlly talking about anything bc i mean u don't really just reveal everything suddenly. so especially in that regard he definitely needs mac.

like not only bc of their connection but bc he depends so much on mac & now mac feels more open & honest & i really think den needs to be around him more, not pushing him away (which could also be why) bc he needs to see how much happier mac is & how he's changed & maybe it'll help him open up more, & if anything mac would probably be the best one for him to do that w anyway.

i'm also gonna mention my sort of views on some ways den could come back: now considering his car was still there i think it could even be possible that mac goes home to their apartment to find that dennis is still there, maybe just waiting or maybe packing, who knows. them blowing up the range rover & using the RPG without him only to find that he hadn't left yet, or at all is definitely something i could see happening (& i know this is a more serious post about den but come on i think we'd all laugh @ that) or the thing i definitely see happening is the gang talking in the bar, who knows how long it's been (maybe a day, maybe a few months) & all of a sudden dennis strolls in and says nothing, walks behind the bar & grabs a beer while the others just stop talking and stare. cue title card "dennis is back" (tbh this is one of the most realistic ones i think & i know glenn mentioned it might be funny if he just didn't come back at all but i think this is vastly more funny & in keeping w the show i mean come ON) or there's like the sad part. this again could depend on how u wanna view things. but if u look at it as dennis going on a downward spiral, only for him to kinda hit rock bottom w the RPG & brian jr. (which isn't even a theory that's literally what happened) then we know this isn't good. it's not a typical situation where they leave on good terms, or they leave happy because we know he wasn't happy. we know he initially didn't want this & isn't ready & we know he hates north dakota, & we also know it's not like he's in love w mandy or anything no matter how nice she seemed, as the person he was closest to was: mac. so it's not like he's really leaving for a better lifestyle either necessarily, because he may have mentioned envisioning himself getting married & having a kid but we saw how it went when he married someone he didn't love, and how he again was unable to function without mac, and it's obviously not how anyone plans on those things happening, & if they did have him settle down w mandy which i do not see ever happening we know he'd literally be settling.

so for him to have been going through a rough patch, to hit an extremely low point & then walk away from his friends, is not going to end well. he hit that low point & is now leaving without dealing with any of his problems because his focus is on fixing one of them: the kid, but also how he was affected by frank because he doesn't want the kid to grow up in that same way. so he thinks that's the most important issue, because he also likes to pretend he doesn't have any other ones, & thinks this is the thing he needs to deal with and everything will be fine. but he didn't deal with anything else, he's only bringing those problems with him, to north dakota, to mandy, to the kid, to his "new life." so if anything he's only gonna be more miserable and he won't even have mac there w him, who he literally depends on to function & considering he's only getting worse being w/o mac is the last thing he needs even if he thinks, or wants to believe that that's exactly what will help. idk how they're gonna deal w him being gone, if he's gone for any length of time or anything, but my point is if he's stated to be gone for months or something like that i'm pretty sure he's gonna come back at the worst we've ever seen him because he was only without mac for hours before he realized he had no idea what to do & they were only, what, a few miles away? part of all this is that he's codependent but that is most heavily dealing with mac. s5 dennis was still doing pretty okay, considering. so him not functioning without mac was just pathetic. s12 dennis has been a mess & him being without mac at arguably his lowest point is kind of scary to think about.

#im sorry this is SO LONG #but...yeah basically #some of y'all thought den was dark #but if hes gone for any length of time... #like hes gonna be sad as shit #& this isnt me being like omg he cant function w/o mac! #cuz like. #he literally cant. #theyve said this. #it isnt a joke #its not me saying it bc theyre so in love #its like..a direct result of dennis' bpd #mac happens to be the one he really relies on #that would be where id say the love comes in but #yeah #i really hope they dont do that #because ive thought before 'oh he should be gone awhile' #like maybe he'll develop more w the kid & everything #or that it'd be interesting to see the gang respond to life without him #but then i think about this #i hope they bring him back like right away like i said #cuz otherwise the only logical response from den being gone for awhile is for him to be like...Bad #ive seen fics mentioning like self harm & suicide (TW) & i've thought well i dont see that happening or thats too dark... #but honestly when i've written this all out i'm thinking it's more likely than not #& im not a psychologist im not claiming to be but i do get his character a lot bc we're very similar in that aspect like how we deal w thing #basically den needs to come back & ASAP bc its not gonna be good for him if he doesnt #dennis reynolds #macdennis #dennis needs him like now more than ever

[ecotone99]

Urban [UR] Jungle

In the midst of the ghetto lives a young black man, raised by his mom to stay on a straight path he does everything he can to avoid trouble and maintain good grades in school. In this community he is seen as an outsider since the culture involves the typical gangs, guns and drugs. From a small child the protagonist becomes friends with “devin” and they develop a bond that they vow to never break. Eventually they end up living two totally different lifestyles, the protagonist the outsider who tries to stay away from trouble and devin who becomes a known troublemaker in the neighborhood.

The protagonist and devin spend quite a bit of time together, sometimes just chilling and other interactions such as devin and his other friends coming to the protagonist's job causing disturbances. One night the duo are riding from a party “devin” convinces the protag to go and they are pulled over by police. The stop intensifies when the police find out “devin” has a warrant out for his arrest in connection to a crime he committed some time ago. The police get on high alert and the situation gets tense as “devin” clutches his pistol in the car. The protagonist convinces his friend to put the gun down and get out of the car. “Devin” is shot as he gets out of the car.

The police face no charges for the shooting and “devin” ends up living and being charged, convicted and spending time in prison for the crimes he committed. After the shooting the protagonist grows leary of the police and keeps in touch with “devin” while he is behind bars. His mom tries to convince him to continue walking the straight path and believes what happened to his friend was no fault of his. He resents this notion and gets closer to some of “devins” friends he used to hang around. The protag notices that they smoke and sell weed all the time. It's all they do and he even questions them about it. They explain to them that “devin” was their friend but was also their plug and things have been rouch in the business since “devi” was out of commission. While not a smoker (he tried it and didn't like it, had a bad experience) the protag found marijuana interesting and like the nerd he is, he starts to learn more and more about it. He spends more and more time around “devins” friends and they build a bond.

The protagonist gets into marijuana horticulture and attempts many small grows in his home, some are discovered by his mom and destroyed and some are utter failures but nevertheless he continues and eventually grows about a quarter of some pretty decent bud. He takes it to his new friends and they are impressed. They want to know where to get more in hopes of selling it but are disappointed when he says he found it. He continues to practice growing and further develop his skills.

Sometime later “devin” gets out of prison and the protagonist and “devins” friends throw his a welcome home party. After all the extra guests leave the party it's just the crew left sitting around talking and “devin '' being who he is is naturally interested in how the business is going and begins to talk business with his friends. In the midst of this the protagonist pulls out a fat blunt and begins to light it. Devin notices this and says “ayy nigga when you start smoking” - “he dont” one of devins friends said questioningly. The protag passes the blunt to deving and says “welcome home bro”. Devin hits the blunt looking at the protag with a lil smile and says thanks. The weed is strong and devin is impressed...and coughing hard. He passes it to one of his friends who hits it and begins to say something but can't because of coughing so much. He passes the blunt to the other friend who hits it and notices the weed from before and starts to question the protagonist. “Aint this the same shit you said you found nigga?” The other friend says “yea but it's like better”. Devin is sitting listening to all of this confused. The protagonist begins to explain that he didn't find the weed but he grew it. “So you grew that shit you said you found nigga?” one of the friends asked. “You grew this shit nigga?” devin says excitedly pointing. The protag laughs “yes, yea I grew it”. The friends are impressed even more as the protag pulls out a few oz of his high quality bud. They are eventually invited over to see his setup and the protagonist's status within the group goes up.

One day the protagonist and devin are riding and the protag explains to devin that he's ready to be his plug and help him and his friends in their business. “Lol you not street nigga, its a jungle out here. You been a good boy in yo books all yo life why you coming at me now tryna help me? You think i got shot cuz of you nigga? I seen shit in prison ion wish on none of yall niggas man, shit i wouldnt wish on my opps nigga. Your weed good bro but you need to get your mind off that shit and stay focused on getting into college.”

The protagonist wasn't expecting things to go that way with devin and the two of them spend some time apart. Devin and his friends are trying to rebuild their business as the protag continues his loner ways and keeps developing his skills and increasing his stockpile of weed on hand. Devin is having trouble maintaining his business, he lost his old plug and is being fronted low quality bud by a gang at a higher price than what he and his crew can afford to move it. One of devins friends asks why don't they just get the product from the protagonist? “What the fuck we gone do with an oz huh? That nigga got a lil closet grow you think thats enough to move sum nigga?” - “we cant even move this we might need some lil closet shit” one of the friends jokes. Devin and his crew are unable to move product and end up in debt to the gang. They are pressured to come up with the money they owe and one of the friends is hospitalized because of this. The protagonist finds out about this and decides to help. He goes to the gang and delivers some of his high quality buds he's been stockpiling. The gang is impressed and the debt is eliminated. Devin runs into some of the gang members where he finds his debt has been taken care of. He goes to see the protagonist and ends up thanking him for what he did. They dap up and are back in good standing with each other. Devin sits down and says “aight nigga lay it on me” to which the protag replies “what?” - “the plan nigga, mr greenthumb garden ass nigga whats the plan with the weed?” devin says. “Ohhhh now you wanna hear what I gotta say cuz i saved yo ass?” says the protag. “Nope, wrong nigga. Everybody likes that shit. The boys like it, hell they've been begging to sell yo shit.” devin continues “even the gang was asking if there would be more when they need it. So from the pounds of it nigga you got that undeniable fire, that shit that sell itself. So...nigga...you can be the plug.” The protagoniyst laughs “nigga are you telling me or asking?” Devin responds “im asking.”

The protagonist lays his plan out for devin. It includes finding a suitable secluded place to set up a grow house, raising money for the supplies, what would be needed to maintain it and how long all of this will take. Devin is impressed with the plan and they begin to put it into motion. It takes some time but they find a suitable place for the grow op. Devins' friends are happy because they get to sell the remainder of the protagonist stash although they are unaware of the master plan at this time. The protagonist and devin eventually gather all of the things needed to set up the operation and put everything together. They inform the other friends about the op and take them to show it, they are blown away, the operation starts and the plan is set into motion.

The grow is going well and the group makes it to harvest. They chop their crop and begin reaching out to dealers to sell bulk amounts to. They take samples out across the city and build a network of dealers who are interested in the product and are willing to buy it before it's even ready to sell. Initially they are able to sell a large amount of product quickly, making a large sum of money and establishing themselves as the plug in the city. After a few months they have their weed flowing through most dealers' trap houses, they essentially saturate the market abd have a steady system and control supply vs demand.

There are other groups and gangs in the city who had their slice of pie in the marijuana trade but find it hard to compete with this new quality of weed that has popped up and taken over in the city. One gang in particular wasn't affected in the beginning because they could compete. In fact they had the exact same quality and people even suspected that they were the suppliers of the high quality buds. The gang that devin and his boys were in debt to were running out of weed and they wanted more. First they tried to be nice about it and buy it but they were disappointed. The price they first got it from the protagonist was deeply discounted due to the fact that he was just trying to get his friends out of trouble. But now...see now things are different. The protagonist has leveled up, he's got more money than he could have imagined and employs multiple people. He's THE plug in the city now and changed him and his friends lives. Naturally he has changed. His head is a little bigger and he knows without his weed any dealer in the city won't be in business long. He denies selling the weed to the gang at the original price which upsets the gang.

Over the course of the next few weeks the gang tries various ways of taking weed from the protagonist and his crew. Again one of devins friends is attacked in an attempt to steal weed. The protags mom is even drug into the beef at one point and he and devin are at odds about how to move forward with the increased pressure from the rival gang and police. The protagonist wants to shut down the operation at a certain amount of profit but devin does not see a reason to stop. Since their new found wealth and status the sheriffs office have become aware of the protag and his crew and in fact knows devin quite well. They trail and investigate them to see why and where their new lifestyle is coming from. After the protagonist mom gets involved they bring on some friends and family to help with processing weed so they can get rid of it faster and also bring on extra security to help around the grow.

One of the new people brought on is the protagonist's cousin. Devin never really liked this cousin because he said he is a “gooffy ass nigga who dont take shit serious” plus hes kinda large and sloppy. This cousin was given a security job, he would patrol the outer perimeter of the grow op and call to devin or the protag if there was any trouble. One night, big boy was patrolling the perimeter of the grow when he decided to roll a blunt of some of the protags weed. Super strong and smelly it's generally a no-no to smoke around the op because it was a place of business and not recreation, anyways...he smokes a fatty and begins to frolic around, he gets the munchies and ends up going to the convenience store. WHile walking in some rival gang members are sitting at a gas pump notice the cousin from an earlier encounter with the protagonist. They want to rough him up to send a message and wait for him to exit the store. The gang follows big boy right back to the grow op.

The gang scopes out the scene before pouncing on big boy. They rough him up and get as much info as possible as to what he's doing there and they already have a clue. They sneak inside where they too are amazed at the protag and devins operation. It's business as usual for the grow operation. The protagonist is with his growers tending to the plants, devins friends are overseeing the trimming of the buds and devin is in the money room, where naked women count the money and wrap it up. Why naked? That's the same thing the protag asked but Devin said that's how it's done in all the movies so...whatever. The rival gang ends up being discovered and a shootout ensues at the grow op. All in all they were able to fight off the gang but one of devins friends ended up losing his life. This doesn't sit well with the protagonist and he starts to think about the days before he got into growing, he wants simplicity back. Devin seeing his friend shot and killed in front of him starts to understand the protagonist's view and they talk about what it will take to shut down the business. They still have a large amount of bud that needs to be sold so they come up with a plan to unload it all at once and begin looking for buyers. The protag wants to try to sell to the rival gang but devin quickly turns from this idea “nigga they just tried to kill us you dont think theyll do it again?”. They eventually land on the cartel.

The boys use their network to get in touch with the cartel. They have a meeting and end up agreeing on all the necessary details like time, place and price. A few weeks later they load their product into a big truck and head to the meeting spot. The protagonist and devin ride in a trail car behind the weed truck as a decoy incase of a traffic stop or something. “This is it” the protag says as they ride behind the truck. “Yup,” devin says as they begin to talk about what each other would do with their money. The protagonist reveals to devin that he wants a little piece of land where he can grow for himself and develop new strains for fun “no selling” he explains. Devin wants to stay in the city and move to the “quiet parts” where he can “get a nice house and call up a few hoes wholl wanna fuck cuz they like my car.” The duo laugh and dont notice the red and blue lights in the rear view mirror. Devin spots them first and says “oh shit” -”what nigga?” says the protag. “12 nigga 12 behind us wtf nigga?” says devin. “Its cool bro chill its cool its better than the truck.” says the protag. “Nigga we got set up! Them fucking mexicans set us up they gone run off with our shit man!” says devin. :BRO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BE COOL!” yells the protagonist. “I aint going back to jail” says devin. At this point the police have guns drawn on the car and are on a loudspeaker telling the duo to get out of the car. The protagonist sees Devin clutch his gun, he looks in the rear view and sees the guns pointed at the car. He looks back at devins gun and reacts! The protagonist grabs his gun, jumps out the car and starts shooting, he empties a clip and jumps back in the car . Devin is sitting in the passenger seat in shock, staring at the protagonist. “What nigga bust, bust”. While the protagonist accelerates the car, Devin leans out the window and shoots at the cops. A car chase ensues.

The boys weve in and out of traffic like a grand theft auto video game. Bullets flying, people screaming and tires screeching. Inside the car the protag yells “where the fucks the truck? Where the fuck is our weed?” Devin gets on the phone and calls his friend driving the truck. They find that the friend was spooked and parked in a parking garage, they tell him to wait there until they arrive. The duo gets to the parking garage and get to the truck, They attempt to set up a way to get out when devin looks out and notices something. “These aint no fucking police!” yells devin. The protag walks over to take a look and they notice they aren't being changed by police. They are being chased by the rival gang dressed in police gear. They change tactics and after a small ambush/shootout they eliminate the rival gang. They boys deliver the weed to the cartel who is suspicious of why they are late. They explain and the cartel boss is impressed. He tells them that they could make good money growing exclusively for the cartel and asked if more weed would be available when they ran out of this? The protagonist and devin look at each other and smile…

THE END

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#Blogger #Story

[babygirlblogging-lise-blog]

My First

I failed my driving test. 

That was in the fall of 2017, I was a senior in high school. All of my friends were getting their licenses and cars while I was stuck being a passenger. The woman who failed me thought I wasn’t confident enough. Like damn, can’t even be nervous without being penalized these days huh? She failed me for the most ridiculous shit. But that has nothing to do with the story I plan on telling. 

A few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I tried again. This was something I needed to do before I turned 18. Giving up wasn’t an option. There was no way I wanted to retake my written if I didn’t pass before I was considered a legal adult. The guy who tested me this time? He was fine as hell and now that I think about it, I was supposed to text him when I turned eighteen. I lost his number, sadly. But that also has nothing to do with the story. I want to tell you the story about the first guy I-

-’ve always been cheap. I was ten when my aunt was going to get a new car. I convinced her to save her old car for me so that when I started driving I wouldn’t have to buy a car. By the end of the summer of 2017, my grandpa fixed up the old car and I was all good to go. Free to go wherever I wanted. I no longer had to wait around for people, waste money on lyfts or walk. So naturally, I took myself on adventures. 

One night, against my better judgement. I lied to my mom and said I was going to hang out with my friends. If I would have told her what I was really going to do, she would’ve gone into over protective mode and I didn’t want that. I just wanted some time to myself. I drove over the bridge and into Philly. Not for a concert or any other event. I just wanted some me time. I parked my car. Got oreo ice cream and sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and walked around the city. 

Not going to lie and say I knew exactly where I was at all times. I wasn’t even guaranteed that I was safe, I wasn’t focused on my surroundings. All I know is I was somewhere around Broad Street, because that’s where Insomnia Cookies was located. I came across this huge, gorgeous building, I’m not very good at names. Everything was lit up and there was art on the sides of some of the buildings surrounding it. There was even a fountain in front of it all. The scene just looked so beautiful. I walked across the street, hopped up on a ledge and just took it all in. It felt serene, even with so many people flooding the sidewalks. I sat and continued eating my snacks, I was enjoying clearing my head. Until someone interrupted me that is… 

“Hey.” I looked up to see a cute guy. There were a few girls not too far from me talking. It was the beginning of August, late at night but still pushing eighty degrees. Of course they were clad in clothes that left nothing to the imagination. I figured he was talking to them. Guys like the ones who look easy. He couldn’t have been talking to me. So I went back to dipping my cookie into my ice cream and admiring the scenery. I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that he moved a little closer to me. He said hey again and I finally looked up at him directly, before looking around. He laughed a little. “I don’t blame you for being that into ya snacks. I love their shit. But I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute.” Yep, he’s definitely talking to me. I was confused as to why though. I get hit on by guys pretty often, I know I’m not ugly but with him talking to me, I felt extremely insecure. Suddenly I wished that I had dressed a little better. I looked like a child for fucks sakes. I was wearing a gold fish shirt, black tights, a hat that said “Hoodrats” and Chucks. I was even swinging my legs off the ledge, eating ice cream! 

He introduced himself as Dey. I wanted to know the name his mom gave him so I asked him for his full name. Ayinde. Pronounced Uh-zhen-day. Unique. It has African origins. He told me that my name was almost as pretty as I was. If I were white, I definitely would have blushed. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so shy. 

 I learned that he was mixed with Irish, Haitian and Cuban. Interesting mix, I know. Despite his slight baby face, he turned out to be 20. He was tall, about 6’1. He had taken his hat off to redo his ponytail, he tied his curly, brown hair back into a man bun. He was light skinned with a slight tan. Doe brown eyes paired with the cutest smile. He was dressed in all black, I would’ve been a little concerned if it weren’t for the logo on his hat. I could see a tattoo peeking out from under his short sleeved shirt. Just my type. 

I was tired of the small talk and beating around the bush. “Why’d you come over here to talk to me?” Instead of replying, the douche just smiled and then hopped up on the ledge next to me. It was weird. I was supposed to be having me time, if any other guy did this I would’ve been rude. I wouldn’t have given them the time of day. I wasn’t even afraid, Ayinde strangely made me feel safe. Something was telling me to give him a chance, instead of shutting him down. 

“Well, I was on break, I work across the street.” He points to a small cafe. “I saw you walk by and… I don’t know I thought you were beautiful. Now that I’ve gotten closer, it seems so effortless. No make up and you’re not even dressed up.”

Shit, I have no clue what to say to this. He’s been nice and respectful. “Thank you.” Well, that was lame but it was safe. We talked more before he had to go back to work. He was funny as hell, we both had the same rude, dark, sarcastic humor. He complimented me pretty often and he seemed kind of bummed that he had to leave once his break was over. 

“Why don’t you grow some balls and just ask me what you wanna ask me.” I thought to myself, I should be a fucking actress. I’m great at faking confidence. 

He laughed and just smiled at me for a second. “Well, I would like to get to know you more. Can I get your number?” 

You know when you give someone your number, you almost expect them to wait days or weeks to text you. Surprisingly, Ayinde texted me that night. 

AYINDE: hey beautiful, u get home safely?

ME: Oh shit, I see u found ur balls! 

AYINDE: lol yea yea yea. I know I was acting like a pussy earlier but that’s not how I usually am

***

AYINDE: FT me? I haven’t seen u since we met punk

ME: No I look crazy rn 

AYINDE: Is tht even possible? I think you’re cute af

ME: aww thanks but everyone’s entitled to their own insecurities

AYINDE: Ig but that’s y u need me 

ME: wym?

AYINDE: to take away your insecurities

ME: Doubt that’s possible 

AYINDE: try me

***

ME: entertain meee! I’m bored, stuck at my great grandma’s house :(

AYINDE: I literally just woke up, still in bed

ME: Luckyyy, my head’s fucking killing me

AYINDE: wish I could help

ME: me too lol do u have superpowers? 

AYINDE: no, do u?

ME: Nah I’m not tht awesome 

AYINDE: I think ur pretty awesome

Ayinde and I got closer over the next month. We hadn’t actually seen each other after the first time we met. He worked crazy hours and still had school. I worked everyday and had school as well. Plus, I wasn’t completely comfortable meeting up with a guy I didn’t really know. He understood that. He always made sure I was comfortable before we did anything. He eventually convinced me to facetime him… a lot... and when we didn’t he acted like a big baby.

ME: u happy now?

AYINDE: lol no

ME: y not -_-

AYINDE: I got nothing pretty to look at now

ME: whose fault it tht?

AYINDE: idk. Do u kno?

ME: Lol yea ik

AYINDE: tell me 

ME: yours :P

AYINDE: well if u came over we wouldn’t have this problem

I was a very late bloomer. I knew freshmen girls who got pregnant, meanwhile I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was 16. I didn’t start dating until 17. I was a fresh 18 and I was still a virgin. I waited a while to tell him because I liked him and didn’t want to scare him off. But he surprised me, I learned that he wasn’t like other guys. Most guys only want you for one thing. And that’s to get them off. Not all are gonna be lovey dovey when you’re not putting out. 

ME: I hate being a girl. I think my uterus just exlpoded. Im dying

AYINDE: Aww u can’t die yet, I havent taken u out yet

ME: wut do u want from meee

AYINDE: I told u what I want 

ME: hmmmm

AYINDE: i didnt? 

ME: u could have an ulterior motive

AYINDE: lol what? Ayo y cant I just think ur gorgeous and want to get to kno u, find out who u r

***

He was very protective of me. Anytime I even looked a tiny bit sad or sounded off, he was ready to beat someone up for me. 

AYINDE: ur awake? 

ME: Yea just woke up on some bs 

AYINDE: u good?

ME: yea im ok lol

AYINDE: u sure? I’ll fuck someone up

ME: lol yea im good now

And as the oldest, always looking out for my little brothers and my friends. It felt good to have someone looking out for me for a change. 

***

ME: I move into college tmw nd I aint pack shit yet

AYINDE: ur bugging

ME: Pack 4 me?

AYINDE: lol ill pass

ME: my back hurts like all hell, some of this shit is heavy

AYINDE: what u carrying…?

ME: 4 one, I hav a lot of clothes, they add up nd I had to take em downstairs

AYINDE: lol whoakay wittle wone

ME: fuck u, this shit weighs more than me! I almost fell down the stairs!

AYINDE: thts cuz ur like 87 lbs

ME: Aye! Give me my props, im like 120

AYINDE: lol i see u killa

I fucking loved when he called me that, made me feel invincible. 

Despite how it seems this isn’t a love story. This isn’t a memoir about me finding my first love. Bleh. That’s so sappy. I want to tell you about the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone. You’ve experienced a snippet of our relationship. Ayinde and I were never together. We were just people who met at the wrong time. Had too much going on in our separate lives to focus on developing a relationship. But it didn’t stop us from pursuing the unique friendship we had. For years we maintained contact, I’d visit him pretty often but we always kept our distance when it came to personal things. We used each other as escapes from our realities. We were each other’s vacation after a long week. 

One night we were hanging out and things got more heated than they usually did. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step with anyone. No worries, I’m not about to make you uncomfortable and talk about how I lost my virginity because that isn’t the point. Before I say anything, I did have a great childhood. But some things did leave me scarred, I struggled with intimacy as a result. To make a long story short, it makes me self conscious, not something I’ll flaunt for the whole world to see. 

I’m the type of girl who will wait until the bathroom is empty to change my pad or start going to the bathroom. If it’s too busy, I’ll wait all day until I go home. In the locker room, I’d find the farthest corner or wait until all the girls leave to change my clothes. I’m not comfortable being alone around men. I used to clench my pocket knife in my hand when I walked home alone at night. The list goes on. 

The point of this memoir is to tell about the first time I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Let alone, around a guy. 

They were everywhere. Trailing from my neck and back up against mine. His lips were distracting. I could barely focus. Let alone notice that the both of us were wearing less and less clothing by the minute. I stopped. 

I wouldn’t be able to handle him not liking what he saw. What if I did a bad job? What if he stopped talking to me?

“Do you want me to stop?” Ayinde pulled back from me looking concerned. He looks so cute right now. I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off. 

“Ye-No. It’s just, can you turn the lights completely down?” He liked his room dim, not too bright or dark. It was normally perfect but at that moment, they were making this situation turn into a nightmare.

“Um, why? What’s wrong?” He’s still hovering above me. I didn’t really want him to move. I bit my lip, contemplating. 

“Just don’t look at me any differently. Okay?” I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Hoping that my issues with myself wouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve never gone this far with anyone. 

When the time came. I held my breath. Okay, I see my pants on the floor near the dresser. My shirt is near the door. I was locating my clothing so that I’d be able to leave quicker. I’m not really one to feel embarrassed but this was going to be borderline humiliating if I wasn’t enough for him. This reminded me of how I felt when I failed my driving test, but I wanted to do this with Ayinde. I didn’t want to quit just because I hadn’t grown the balls to show anyone else. I didn’t want to miss out because I was nervous as to what he might think. I had to at least give him a chance. 

What Ayinde did shocked me. Instead of being grossed out or losing his hard on. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything. He kissed every part of my body and when he was done he leaned down to kiss my lips. I was worried, about him seeing all of me, for no reason. He wound up giving me the confidence I needed to be comfortable in my own skin. He told me what I needed to hear from a guy that I was into, not my parents: 

“You’re beautiful.”

And just like that... I didn’t have anymore insecurities. 

#insecure #short story