#DO WE THINK I SHOULD TRY GETTING MY ASS TO SPEAK WITH A PROFESSIONAL

[zhalar]

yeah i dont really consider myself that socially anxious anymore [<- speaks on the phone about grownup things for 15 minutes and my fingertips start to sweat]

#I LOVE HAVING A BODY #särmäs sermons #good news everyboy i have acquired a summer job :) now if i only figured out what im gonna do once autumn rolls around.... #.... that everyboy was a typo that i dont wanna fix actually #i still have to apply to schooling . tho im not sure if i HAVE to do it or if its just advised or whatever. i do want to its just that #i still dont know what the hell i wanna do. i had a little expedition at a woodworking/carpenter school #~vocational school~ that is. and im running outta time to apply so i could start in august. #seemed pretty fun seemed like the sorta thing i might WANT to do #but ive been noticing this. Thing. in my brain where nothing is fucking sticking to it #i dont know how to learn and also to keep that knowledge. cant see myself learning how to use all those big scary machines. #its really fucking with my confidence to even applyyyy even tho all the people there were so nice and confident that anyone could learnnnnn #oh well. these are my problems. there are others but i'll spiral about them once theyre more timely and relevant lmao #DO WE THINK I SHOULD TRY GETTING MY ASS TO SPEAK WITH A PROFESSIONAL

[lieutenant-teach]

Meeting Cyare’s father (or Anakin Skywalker doesn’t like his new son-in-law very much)

(Anakin doesn’t go Dark, everyone lives, everyone’s happy. No Sequels, rehashed Heir to the Empire instead of the OT. DinLuke, minor Anidala, CodyWan, HanLeia)

Din was really relieved about his helmet on, but then he remembered that the Jedi can feel other people’s emotions. No luck, then.

His cyare’s father’s eyes were trying to burn a hole in his head.

– Let me get it straight, Luke. A Mandalorian bounty hunter. – The voice could cut the stone better than a lightsaber.

– Mum likes him, – Luke was smiling, but Din saw him tensing for a fight. A cybernetic hand squeezed his.

– I didn’t raise my only children to give them away to some criminals, - Skywalker-senior stood up from the couch and started walking back and forth. – First I have to agree to allow my princess marry some smuggler…

– Han did help us to stop Thrawn.

– … and then my son wants to partner a bounty hunter, - Luke’s father wasn’t listening to him, anger coming off him like waves – Din was certain he wasn’t Force-sensitive, but one may not be to feel the Dark Side emanating from Anakin Skywalker at that moment.

Din remembered Luke’s words before ‘meeting with father’s half of the family’: ‘My Dad will become angry, I’m sure – he didn’t react to Han well, too – but don’t worry, he’ll cool down’. The warning rang in his ears when he saw Skywalker-senior for the first time: tall, with a rich mane of greying curls, but still very handsome former Jedi assessed him and made up him mind immediately. ‘Not worthy’. Now they were sitting on the softest couch Din’s ass had ever been on, in the richest living room Din’s eyes ever seen, and ‘officially’ letting Din into a very branchy Skywalker family tree. Or, trying.

– Dad, I’m almost thirty, I can decide for myself. And Din’s a hero of his own – he kept Grogu save and sound, stopped Moff Gideon, and also saved the town of Mos Pelgo from the krayt dragon…

– But a bounty hunter! – Skywalker-senior cried exasperatedly. – And, to add to it, a Mandalorian! It is all your fault, Obi-Wan! – he suddenly turned to Luke’s uncle, quietly watching all this until this moment.

– Wait, why? – the man was older than Luke’s father, gray hair and beard and mischievous twinkle in the eyes. So far he hadn’t said anything, but Luke had said his uncle would be supportive. Now it was time to find out. – My fault Luke fell in love?

– With a Mando! – Skywalker raised his voice. – Who in this family has a thing for Mandos?

– Do not speak about Satine like this, – Obi-Wan’s voice became steely, – and anyway, Cody is not a Mandalorian.

– He is a clone of a Mandalorian!

Din started to lose the thread of the conversation. He even wished he had a Jedi ability to speak telepathically and could ask Luke what the kark was going on. He shifted his head, trying not to be very obvious in his confusion, Luke caught his gaze and shrugged.

– Do you really think I taught Luke… - Luke’s uncle sighed. – We have been here before, Anakin. Luke is an adult, he can think for himself. If he brought young Din Djarin here, then he is certain in him and his own feelings. Did your fits of reality rejection change Leia’s mind?

Luke’s father breathed in and out heavily, clearly holding himself from harsher words, but reluctantly accepting the truth.

– Maybe, you should just talk to Din? – Luke’s uncle didn’t look happy, but so wasn’t Din hearing this suggestion.

‘Let me talk, – Din remembered Luke’s words. – When Dad started being… um… not very nice to Han – critical of sorts – Han started talking back. It escalated, some chairs were flying around, Dad and Leia exchanging angry remarks – Dad said she deserved better, Leia insisted she loved Han – and Han himself wasn’t making everything easier. It took two professional negotiators – Mum and Uncle Obi-Wan – to calm them down. Still, Leia and Han are happily married and have a son. So it’s just an unpleasant procedure you have to endure’.

– Maybe, he would take the helmet off for starters? – Poison in Skywalker’s voice could kill a bantha. No, a herd of banthas.

– I cannot, - Din was glad his voice didn’t tremble. He wasn’t afraid of the man, but watching a family drama, and, worse, being the reason of it didn’t feel well. He didn’t want to cause a rift in Luke’s relationship with his father. – My Creed prohibits me to.

– Veery convenient, - Skywalker smiled a tight and unpleasant smile, ignoring pleading and exasperated eyes of his son. – We’re a family now, you don’t show your face even to your family? Luke, have you seen his face?

– Dad, now it’s rude. Of course, I did. – It was obvious Luke was holding well, but his patience wasn’t infinite, too. – It’s only for immediate members.

Technically, after realizing the existence of different Mandalorian Ways, Din wasn’t sure he couldn’t do that. After all, taking off helmets didn’t make Bo-Katan Kryze or Sabine Wren less Mandalorians. But even if he would – not for this man.

The door slid open, a man quietly entered the room and stood behind Luke’s uncle’s armchair, resting his elbows on the chair back. Could he be Boba Fett’s relative? Because he was a carbon copy of Din’s friend, albeit much older. An intricate scar was winding its way from his temple down around his left eye.

– I am being quite nice! – Skywalker protested, dragging all attention to himself. – I can’t believe Padmé actually said ‘I like this guy, let’s take him in’.

– You know, I agree with you, - the probably-Boba’s-relative suddenly said. Luke’s uncle turned to him with puzzled expression. Luke looked disappointed. – The kids take after their mother in their bad choice of life partners.

Skywalker seemed about to blow up. He grabbed something from his belt that appeared to be a black respiratory mask and pressed it to his nose and mouth. The mechanical labored breathing sounds filled the room, Skywalker was drilling the man with burning eyes.

– Now, Cody, that was harsh, - frankly, to Din’s mind, Luke’s uncle didn’t look apologetic a lot. Luke sighed, his shoulders relaxed.

– I thought you were serious! – he even laughed a little, then gather himself again. – Dad, you do realize your approval or disapproval won’t change anything?

– Unfortunately, - Skywalker’s voice also sounded mechanical. – I believe no one in the galaxy or farther is worthy of my children. – He signed. – I guess I have to work with what we have here. – He shot a look at Cody, who smiled in return, and this smile was ‘I know you know I’m right, and I unashamedly love it’.

– Very well, - Obi-Wan clapped his hands. – Now as everything is settled, - Din clearly heard ‘Anakin is settled’, - we can share some stories and know each other better, right, Din?

Luke looked at Din with shining eyes. Din signed quietly. This look was worth all these awkward minutes.

#star wars #dinluke #din djarin #anakin skywalker #luke skywalker #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #codywan #fanfiction #my fic #fanfic

[stardustprompts]

thirteen ghosts  sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw ;  language , blood , death

'oh, bad! that's one way to describe it. uh, 'insane' seems a little more appropriate.'

'it is my professional opinion that we should get the hell out of here. now!'

'I just need to take the edge off.'

'careful, (name). don't get too curious.'

'who are you to play god?'

'playing's for children.'

'I thought you were psychic.'

'that's not how it works and you know it!'

'perhaps we'll meet again in another life.'

'you crazy son of a bitch, what did you do?'

'you're being paranoid and overprotective.'

'I know this is gonna sound completely whacked, alright? but I need you to stay with me.'

'don't laugh at me.'

'not so fast, you gotta cater to my ego first.'

'don't touch me.'

'how's your head?'

'they're kids, what'd you expect?'

'just this once, don't argue with me.'

'what part of that code are you having trouble cracking?'

'I don't see any ghosts.'

'I want you to do me a favor and stop with all the haunted house nonsense. okay?'

'you don't have to scream, alright? just ... chill.'

'no, I don't think we should split up.'

'I told you, I can't see any ghosts.'

'it's a ghost! just like I've been saying all night.'

'there are ghosts around us all the time. most of them, they can't hurt is. most of them don't wanna hurt us. but there are exceptions.'

'there's no such thing as ghosts.'

'don't speak. don't move.'

'I don't think you should be teasing the ghost.'

'it looks to me like I'm saving your ass.'

'if you want help, you gotta help me first.'

'can I rely on you not to get me killed?'

'what the hell are you doing here?!'

'stop dragging your ass, man!'

'you got something to say, say it.'

'let's start with this is all your goddamn fault!'

'if you haven't noticed, I'm a little bit of a freak!'

'I touch somebody, and a whole life full of shit just flashes in front of my eyes!'

'so yeah, I'm depraved. and (name) was my friend and he accepted me!'

'he didn't accept you, you're pathetic! he used you!'

'god, I've been trying to help you.'

'love is the most powerful energy.'

'I don't read latin.'

'it doesn't add up. it doesn't make any sense. there's gotta be a better way.'

'how much of this equation makes any sense at all?'

'I sure as hell hope I don't bleed to death, 'cuz that would suck.'

'why are you so mad at me? I did everything you asked me to do.'

'you're not mad at me, are you?'

'I've been looking for a reason to like myself for a long time.'

'greatness requires sacrifice.'

'I'm nothing without you.'

'the world has no time for little people like you. it needs people who are willing to do anything for greatness.'

'I am sick of this nanny shit.'

'this was not in the job description. I quit!'

#rp sentence starters #rp prompts #rp memes #movie sentence starters #movie prompts #horror prompts #thirteen ghosts prompts #thirteen ghosts sentence starters #anna's 31 days of halloween #31 days of halloween: 2 #if you're wondering how old I am it's This Old #does anyone even remember this movie?

[fategoflatass]

My Winter 2024 Watchlist & Opinions

The feared time has come. After avoiding this post like the plague, I finally put myself to write my pretty unnecessary thoughts on this season that's departing next week or so.

Admittely, it wasn't that big of a deal, but that might be because the bigger titles will come out the following season? (Should I also make a post about that?)

Anyway, let's get started!

Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu 2nd Season

Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆☆

CW: cringey teenagers

Here, we one again get to follow our favorite middle school duo—the edgy boy and the gluttony in human form—as they grow up and find out just how complicated being a teen can be. Awkwardness, idiots and cutsie romance ensured!

This series is just so damn adorable, man! And awkward, holy fuck it can be awkward. But being a teenager is, in big part, going through the cringiest phases possible to cleanse the karma of a lifetime, so is that a bad quality or an amazing depiction of real life?

Anyway, my guys are back and I can't explain just how happy I am about it! I'm usually not that fond of school romances since, well, they tend to be too immature for what I'm currently looking for. This was made especially obvious since I began watching more and more series centered around adult characters.

But this series is quite different—they're immature, yes, but it's not as annoying as they tend to be. You know why? Because they found out about this thing called communication. Yes, they're not the greatests at it, but at least they're trying!

I've been thinking on checking the manga out, although I haven't decided yet. If anyone here has read it/is up to date, should I get into it or wait until next season comes out?

BUCCHIGIRI?!

Action, Supernatural // ☆☆

CW: big ammounts of cringe

Arajin Tomoshibi's reunion with his old pal Matakara Asamine takes an unexpected turn when they stumble into a brawl with the toughest guys in town. And just when you thought things couldn't get weirder, a colossal genie decides to drop in. Brace yourself for the ultimate showdown. It's the clash of the cool and the magical!

(Yes, I stole the summary from AniList. Couldn't bother to write something down for this one).

This series comes from Utsumi Hiroko—the same woman who worked on Free! and Banana Fish, the mind behind SK8; one of my biggest comfort shows. And honestly, it shows!

Because BUCCHIGIRI?! is an amalgamation of all her previous ones.

You have the childhood friend pair composed of the Gentle Giant™ (who's quite literally Makoto 2.0, personality and appareance wise) and a dude who has only one goal in life—for Haru, it was to swim free style. For Arajin, is to get laid. And no, I'm not kidding.

Then you get the delinquents (I refuse to call them gangs. They remind me too much to the Tokyo Revengers guys, and I despise that show) and their corresponding leaders—the fruity freak (who I love, ngl) with the obssesive, brocon little sister (who I despise, ngl), the big ass bitch whose age's unknown but seems too old to be hanging around teens, and later on we get a guy who reminds me a lot of Jamil from Twisted Wonderland only that he's utterly pathetic, a professional crybaby and, overall, unbearable—entirely different from my totally cool and more than respectable guy.

There's not much to say about the rest of the cast since they're forgettable to a fault, having little to not charisma. Expect for the skirt guy, he's neat.

When it comes to the supernatural side of things, ugh. The dude who follows Arajin around is exasperating and so cringey I tend to skip fowards when I know a joke—the joke, the only thing he knows besides fighting—is coming.

Speaking of which, the fight scenes are cool, MAPPA doing their best as always. I just wish they would beat up Arajin more often (and that he didn't have to scream his primal urges every time he's going for a punch).

And, for fuck's sake, don't get me started on Arajin. He's the worst protagonist this woman has ever come out with—zero charisma, a total asshole, a terrible friend, and a guy who'd make you want to die if he ever got a crush on you.

I'll cut it here since it's getting too long and I don't wanna get into spoiler territory (in case anyone cares about that), but yeah. I don't recommend, at all. Go watch her other shows instead.

Dungeon Meshi

Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy // ☆☆☆¾

CW: blood, death, violence

While exploring a dungeon, the adventurer Laios and his party are confronted by and lose against a red dragon—they're left without money, provisions and Laios' sister. But not everything is lost, since they can still save her while the creature digests its food. The problem is, they can't fight with an empty stomach!

The best show of the season, hands down. Not like it had much competition to begin with, but anyway.

When I first heard about the show's plot, I admit it, it didn't call me at all. But certain someone (*cough* @arataka-reigen *cough*) convinced me to give it a try. And here we are!

Honestly, I haven't had a laugh like this with an anime in so long! Not only because of the jokes, but the characters are perfectly designed for the viewer to laugh with and, most importantly, at them. I actually have the theory that they're the ones responsible for the BUCCHIGIRI?! cast's lack of charisma. I mean, they had to steal it from somewhere—is too much!

From what I know, more characters are yet to appear (I saw a catgirl and, as a cat lover, I just gotta see the catgirl) and the story gets darker with time (in case episode eleven wasn't enough hint for you).

I can't wait to see what this story has to offer next!

Gekai Elise

Comedy, Fantasy, Romance // ☆☆½

CW: tracheotomies without gloves

In seek of redemption, Takamoto Aoi becomes a doctor to help those who she would've either mistreated or ignored in her past life. Sadly, she gets involved in a plane crash and dies—only to wake up as her past self, ten years before her demise! She'll now look to become a surgeon once again, in the hopes of changing her fate.

If I had to describe it with one word, it would be meh.

The characters, the plot, the romance—it's all pretty average. A wet piece of cardboard is way more interesting than the entire cast and the story put together. The love story is whatever, not engaging enough to get me interested on their scenes.

What I would've liked is if they went on and changed the affections names for something more fantasy-ish or that has to do with the world in which they live in—I highly doubt these people knew about the existence of Dr. James Parkinson, so why would they name a disease after him? That sorta thing, you know?

But anyways, basic ass story with basic ass characters, and I'm a fool for having given it a chance.

And if I may ask, where the hell is the lamp?!

HIGH CARD Season 2

Action, Fantasy // ☆☆½

CW: cultural appropiation (?), blood, some violence

The High Card team keeps on fighting to mantain peace in the city, all meanwhile some of its members are still dealing with past consequences. But when new trouble surrounding the cards surges, they have to get to work to save the day once again!

Look, if the summary ain't shit is mainly because this show has me so uninspired. The only reason why I didn't steal it from AniList is because it doesn't have one.

In case anyone wonders why I'm still watching this show, same. I guess season one wasn't that bad for me to go and drop it, so I decided to give it a second chance. Do I regret it? Mmh, kinda.

To be honest, it's not entirely bad. I mean, it's certainly worst than its predecessor, but it had an interesting section that had me paying a little more attention than usual for like, two episodes or so. And then it lost me again.

The section I'm talking about is around episodes five to seven, where—and spoiling as little as I can—things get rather dramatic. It felt like a cry for help disguised as character growth that did nothing, absolutely nothing, to the characters themselves. They could've skipped those episodes and it would've been business as usual.

In the first two episodes we get introduced to his superhero-like guy who loves spitting random words in Spanish and, no, he's not even Hispanic. Then, he proceeded to not appear for the rest of the season. At least for now, we're currently in episode ten. But even if he were to appear once again, I don't think there's enough time to develop him or create a plot surrounding his cringey ass.

Also, and this might be petty as hell: they never explain why the cards look like the poker ones? I mean, they shared the lore behind them, yet that didn't explain this? How did they come out with the cards' and combination's names if they're supposed to not be poker related?

Hime-sama, "Goumon" no Jikan desu

Comedy, Fantasy // ☆☆¼

CW: none

Amidst the war between their kingdoms, the Princess is captured and imprisoned by the demons alongside her mythical sword and companion, Excalibur. It all seems grim for these two but, when the time comes around, the demons' torture methods seem a bit... gourmet?

I came into this show solely because of the trailer. What can I say? It looked nice. And to be honest, the entires series does.

These type of shows don't tend to be my cup of tea, but I thought it could turn out to be something similar to Maou-jou de Oyasumi—something that doesn't catch me at first, yet its second half leaves me wanting some more of those charismatic characters (Twilight my beloved).

The problem here is that God, it's repetitive. This series has one sole formula and will repeat it till the end of times, with barely some exceptions.

As LunarEquinox would put it, "it not her being tortured, it's you being tortured by repitition".

Kyuujitsu no Warumono-san

Comedy, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆½

CW: none

Planet Earth and its habitants are in danger; they've become the main target of an evil intergalactic organization who seeks to rule the world! The Rangers do everything in their power to defend the citizens from the General—but today's his day off.

Another fluffly, non plot-centric series. But this one I'm quite fond of.

I guess it's because I really like the «gap moe» concept? The difference between the protagonist's intimidating and powerful look at work and his casual, awkward and panda-obsessed self once he's home it's pretty adorable. It's like he goes from being a lion to one of those long ass domestic cats who'd let you hold him if close enough—only that I think he's supposed to be a lizard(?) of some sorts.

But it's not only him; you also get to see his coworkers with are all very formidable, and even the Rangers themselves. Red having no sense of orientation whatsoever is too relatable, I hate it here.

Not much to say, really. It's just a show about a long ass dude on a trenchcoat whose (most probably, undiagnosed) autism gets him to buy anything panda-related. If he were to become the ruler of the new world, I wouldn't oppose to it.

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimamana Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsu Suru

Fantasy, Romance // ☆☆☆¾

CW: violence, mentions of war

Rishe Irmgard Weitzner, a duke's daughter, has lived many lives—and it's not a saying. For the past few decades, she's been trapped in a timeloop where her engagement gets called off at age fifteen and, from then fowards, she's decided to go down different paths. A merchant, a doctor, a maid—whatever called her attention. Is in her seventh time she become subject of the affections of infamous crown prince, Arnold Hein—the very same man who'd killed her in one of her past lives as a knight. When he asks Rishe to become his wife, she decides to utilize her every skill to avoid the upcoming war.

This one's different from the others, in the sense that I wasn't there when the first episode premiered. I guess it hadn't caught my attention (and the way they colored the hairs looked so bad to me at times, and still does). But again, certain someone began posting about it and I couldn't help myself.

I found this series to be a tad more interesting than the average female public-centric fantasy series. They actually cared to build an appealing plot with its politics and all, while also giving us an attractive main couple whose chemistry is quite nice. I like it when the characters banter, they go back and forth a little bit, but still show feelings for each other—is entertaining, isn't it?

While it's not my favorite series from this season, I do find it highly recommendable—independently of whether you're already into this type of shows or you'd like to give them a try.

Majo to Yajuu

Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy // ☆☆

CW: violence, blood

A guy carrying a coffin alongside his companion appear in a town, searching for the witch who cursed her and fighting some others in the meantime.

I love dark fantasy stories, so when I stumbled upon this show it grabbed my attention almost immediately. The whole concept of wiches, curses and different types of magic has always been a concept I quite enjoy. When it's well done, that is.

What Majo to Yajuu brings to the table is an uninspired series that unapologetically grabs concepts from other stories similar in concept, and doesn't even try to do anything new with them. The magic system is has is so average and uninteresting, and the same happens with the different conflicts that surround the main plot.

And even when it is supposed to have a more mature tone, there are times where they spoon feed you basic information as if you were too stupid to comprehend the intricacies of something you've seen multiple times—not even in other places, but in the same show, even the same episode.

The characters are heavily boring, the main duo being the most salvable of all. They do have some chemistry, but it's just not enough.

Anyways, just another letdown.

Metallic Rouge

Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi // ☆½

CW: violence

In a future where humankind coexists with androids called Neans, a group of them known as the Immortal Nine rises to cause havoc in society. Rouge, a Nean, alongside investigator Naomi are tasked with going all the way to Mars to stop them.

Also known as Bones' 25th Anniversary project, Metallic Rouge arrived to put many interesting question on the table—question that have been talked about multiple times in movies and series revolving androids and robots, yet is always cool to see what different authors have to say about the matter.

Sadly, the way they decide to manage the story is quite futile when it comes to enjoyment. That is, they decided to take the "show, don't tell" narrative route—something we've seen in series like Tengoku Daimakyou, and damn if it worked there. The thing is that this narration style is rather complicated, and can't be saved if done wrong.

Well, guess what happened?

Whether it's the scripwriters' fault or not, I've no idea. The only thing I know for sure is that they fucked up. The give you little to no information, which doesn't help the viewer to try solving the mystery by themselves nor succeeds at keeping them engaged. The only thing attractive enough are the fight scenes, but they become more are more scarse as the episodes go on. Is then when the staff realizes they messed things up, and as a result you get episode nine—a huge ass info dump, with twists that no one would've been able to guess since they hadn't given us enough hints to even get a hunch of what could be going on.

An absolute mess and a masterful class on how not to do things.

Ninja Kamui

Action, Adventure, Drama, Sci-Fi // ☆☆☆¾

CW: death, fire, blood, violence

Higan is a retired ninja who lives in hiding with his family in rural America. One night, assassins from his former organization end up slaughtering both his wife and son due to him breaking their ancient code. Now seeking for revenge, Higan goes back to his old ways in the means to make them pay.

This one is such a wild ride! From the same director who worked on Jujutsu Kaisen's first season, we get an action-packed revenge series.

Yes, it might not be the most original or complex plot of all times, yet that's not its main focus. What it is its main focus are the fight scenes which are absolutely amazing, so fluid and entertaining. You won't be able to take your eyes from the screen!

Even then, the characters are compelling enough for you to either root for them or hope for the hero to end their lives once and for all.

This series is an absolute banger and no one should sleep on it!

Ore dake Level Up na Ken

Action, Adventure, Fantasy // ☆☆½

CW: death, violence, blood, edgelords

After being slaughtered by monsters in a dungeon that was far from matching his rank, Jinwoo, or "the weakest Hunter of all" as called by many others, wakes up only to find out he now that the "System" by his side. This program that only he can see will help him do the impossible—level up.

So here we are, huh.

The biggest anime this season, and it's a fucking power fantasy with extra steps. I swear to God...

Jinwoo is a boring ass piece of wet cardboard, which is meant for the viewer to find it easier to self-insert as him. Those around him are either beings with no personality at all, default mean guys, or the love interest that just has to be there to tell us just how cool and attractive the protagonist has become—not like we needed her for that, since everyone is a simp for that guy for some hell of a reason—and to be saved because she'd be dead without him.

The only thing worth your time would be the action scenes, but since they depend so much on the viewer's hype, and that mainly comes from those who root for the protagonist, it just doesn't work on me.

This shit's boring, man.

Yubisaki to Renren

Romance, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆½

CW: ableism

Yuki is just your average college student who struggles with classes as one does. One day, she gets helped in the train by an upperclassman named Itsuomi. That's when he finds out that she's actually deaf.

One of the most hyped up series from this season, and for good reasons. Not only is a shoujo—sadly, this series don't tend to get anime adaptations as often as their counterparts—, but is a rather well known one.

To the surprise of no one, this is one fluffy series! The characters are all charismatic and sweet, some more than others, and their personalities and struggles feel very human.

The romance is adorable, although I have it hard to not see Itsuomi as someone who's trying to complete a dating speedrun—might be my demi ass, but they've known each other for like, what, two to three months? And they're already dating?

Yuki's deafness is touched upon with such respect, except for when Oushi opens his fucking mouth. I don't know if it's him or the author themself who sugarcoats his ableism as if it came from sheer worry for her future, but saying deaf people should stay at home is in no way a cool thing to say or think. I doubt he'll stay like this forever, but warning you just in case it results uncomfortable for someone.

To end on a more positive note, I love the fact that they center so much around the character's lip movements! It just feels right for the themes that the series touches upon.

Yuuki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern

Action, Comedy, Mecha // ☆☆☆½

CW: violence, war, torture (it's just one scene)

In a world where the military utilizes mechas as weapons, Oahu island, where both the Japanese and American troops are located at the moment, gets attacked by an unknown, intergalatic enemy. They'll now have to join forces to defend the planet.

I think it was Mother's Basement's video that convinced me to give this show a chance and, honestly? I don't quite regret it. After all, I like parodies and mechas, so why not combine both?

Given, I haven't watched every mecha anime there is out there—and with that, I mean that I've yet to watch Gundam which I think was a major inspiration for this one series. But even if you haven't watched it either, that doesn't mean you won't get to enjoy it.

It does make references to the genre's different tropes, yeah, but it serves as a standalone. The comedy works even if it's your first mecha series since some scenes are just so absurd.

The characters are cool, each and every one of them having enough charisma for you to be able to remember them through the entire season. They all have enough chemistry with each other to make their bonds belieable.

With time, the series starts leaving the comedy aspect aside and gets more centered around its actual plot—although the laughs never truly leave. And it actually works, which I admit surprised me a bit.

A series curious enough I think you should give it a chance.

#dungeon meshi #solo leveling #bucchigiri?! #yubisaki to renren #boku no kokoro no yabai yatsu #metallic rouge #ninja kamui #high card #7th time loop #hime sama goumon no jikan desu #majo to yajuu #kyuujitsu no warumono san #gekai elise #yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern #winter 2024

[ladylooch]

Something angst ? What about the first big fight with miles ?

-👢

The margarita in my hand tastes incredible after a long day at work. I’m with my co-worker, Jen, sharing in a moment of celebration after completing a big, 6 month long project. 

“To us!” She cheers me. “I am so glad that is done.”

“Until next year.”

“No, don’t remind me.” She groans. “If you even work here next year. You might be a trophy wife by then.” I snort on my drink, coughing and shaking my head no. 

“I don’t think so. I like working.”

“That’s what they all say. My friend married a professional basketball player, she was going to keep working too. Now she spends her days renovating their three houses.”

“Basketball players make more money the hockey players.” I wave off.

“So are you saying it’s a possibility?” I blush. 

“I mean, I hope so.” I murmur, smoothing out my cocktail napkin.

“It seemed pretty serious at the Christmas party. He couldn’t take his hands off you.” She’s right. His hands were glued to my ass, hip or side the whole night. He turned into the perfect charmer and shared endless stories of his seven NHL seasons in New Jersey. My boss demanded Miles come to the next team happy hour, but unfortunately Miles was out of town. It’s come up every day since though.

“It’s… getting there.” I giggle, then proceed to tell Jen all about the ways our relationship is escalating into something more than dating. Notably is our goodbyes when he goes on the road. He whines and gives multiple goodbye kisses and lingers in the apartment a lot longer than he should. Plus there is that little detail of him wanting to replace my old beater of a car.

“He wants to buy you a car!?” Jen shrieks as I finish. “You need to lock that shit up, babe.”

“Okay there is more to him than his job and money!”

“Yeah he’s also ridiculously hot.” I choke on my margarita, beginning to laugh and nod along. There is no reason to deny it. “Speak of the Devil… is that Miles?” She asks, pointing at a spot over my shoulder. I glance behind me as I’m taking a sip of my margarita. 

“Uh. Yeah. That is.”

“Who is he with?” She wonders as I set my drink back down on the bar. 

“His parents.” I’m a little embarrassed. I was just telling Jen all about how I think things with Miles are getting more serious. We have been spending more time than apart these days. I stay over at his place for days on end, only going home to grab more of my items and move them over to his place. I’ve even stopped leaving his place when he heads out on the road. He likes me in his bed.

But now he is here with his parents. All he told me tonight was that he had people in town from back home and they were catching an early dinner.

“Oh, have you met them?”

“No.” I shake my head. “Didn’t know they were in town either.”

“Oh….” She trails off. She grimaces slightly, but tries to hide it with her glass of Prosecco. I keep my back towards the door, hoping they will be seated away from us. They are, but unfortunately are in the path to head to the bathroom, which I need to use before heading… home? I was going to go to Miles’ place, but now I’m not sure what to do. We both suck our drinks down as the bar gets more and more crowded from the afterwork rush.

“Do you want to stay longer. Or?” Jen wonders.

“No, I’m going to use the bathroom then head out.”

“Okay, I’m going to sneak out now. Wanna put the kids to bed with my hubs.”

“Of course.” I hug her quick, then send her off to the front while I head to the bathroom. I try not to make eye contact with anyone at Miles’ table, figuring I’ll slip by and head out without being detected. I am seemingly successful.

But when I come out of the bathroom, Miles is leaning against the wall, waiting.

“Hey.” He breathes out, worry on his face.

“Oh hey.” I try for a smile but it’s admittedly a lame attempt.

“Um, I’m here with my parents.”

“I saw.” 

“I’m sorry. I-”

“It’s cool. You don’t want me to meet them. But let me guess, I should come over later?” I’ve heard this shit before. This was my last “boyfriend’s” MO. I thought Miles was different though. It felt different.

“Come over if you want to, but not in the way you’re referring.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets.

“I’m going to my place. Have a good night.” I lean forward, kissing his cheek. He laces our fingers together to halt me. 

“You’re upset. Can I please explain?” I shrug, looking down at the grey tiled floor. A man scoots by us to continue on towards the bathroom. “I really like you. And I have been telling my parents about you, but I wanted to… coach them a bit before you met them. I was planning on asking you to meet them tomorrow.” I stare back at him, unconvinced. “In the past, they have gotten really excited about meeting someone I am with. They come off really strong and it freaks women out. I wanted to talk to them about how to act… so they didn’t scare you off.” 

“Miles, if you haven’t scared me off with your missing teeth and cuts all over your face, I don’t think your parents can.” His goofy chuckle shakes his big shoulders and I feel the tension leave my frame a bit.

“My mom is literally going to ask you if you will birth my babies tonight. Are you sure?”

“About her asking or having your babies?” Miles pauses for a moment, mouth dropping slightly open. 

“Um… both?” He asks curiously.

“I’ll have your gigantic babies. But if we are doing this, we’re swinging for the fences and trying to four.”

“Oh… god.” He sputters.

“I’m kidding.” We both laugh together, then he tugs me back into his body. I rest my hand on his chest, rubbing over his sweater.

“I feel like an ass.”

“You kinda acted like one. It would have been nice to have a heads up, rather than ‘people I know’ are in town.” 

“Yeah. Can we start over?”

“Sure.”

“My parents are in town. Will you have dinner with us?”

“I would love to.” Miles pushes out an anxious sigh, then takes the lead to bring you back to the table. 

#miles wood x reader #👢 anon #NHL blurb

[t0ast-ghost]

(Spectre Of The Gun) S3 EP6 I’m hoping that they don’t think the gun is a spectre, don’t want them getting shot.

Does McCoy get a gun again? Lets find out:

- Chekov’s jaw has DROPPED

- Interesting, they all heard the message in their first language. I wonder if they all speak English in tos because I know in later adaptations it’s shown there are translators (and there must be translators here). But in the episode with that annoying ass robot (edit: Nomad) when Uhura’s brain gets wiped, she remembers Swahili and Chapel encourages her to speak in English, and the Swahili didn’t get translated in sickbay. I’m thinking that the crew is speaking in English then? Like obviously they’ve got universal translators but I’m curious whether any of the crew members need it to communicate or if they’re all speaking in English

- *immediately disregards the warning*

- Now not only has he brought McCoy and Spock, he has also brought Scotty, his chief engineer, and Chekov, his top navigator, onto the dangerous planet. Not a single redshirt (except Scotty… poor Scotty)

- 1. They look kinda silly 2. Gay fog

- OMG A WESTERN (please get costumes please get costumes pleeeeeaaase)

- McCoy DOES get a gun!

- “They’re a bunch of hot air.” “Are they really?” Spock is in surprise and disbelief at that statement

- “Is this a dead man, Doctor?” “Very dead, Mr Spock.”

- Spock stopping his idiot boyfriend from being an idiot with facts and logic

- I don’t know anything about American history. What the fuck is happening

-

- Magic clock in the sky

- “Is there anything here and now that could help us.” I immediately thought of a tranquilizer and then thought ‘why not a nerve pinch?’ Only one of which they thought of

- ‘I’m gonna shoot you’ McCoy just leaves

- Is Chekov going to get married? Nvm he got shmacked

- DAMNIT HE GOT SHOT

- This episode doesn’t feel like it’s about them. But holy shit they’re so pretty

- “Captain, let me!” Scotty is about to go on a rampage for Chekov

- “Let it go, Jim. He’s dead.” Bones trying to help Kirk get through these terrible circumstances. Do you think if McCoy died, Jim would think back on his words? Do you think Jim would never let it go?

- “I understand the feeling, captain.” “You talk about another man’s feelings. What do you feel, Spock?” “My feelings are not a subject for discussion, Doctor.” “Because there are no feelings to discuss.” First off, Bones also was just telling Jim to stop worrying over Chekov, he’s got no right to attack Spock like that. I feel like the writers just wanted to add back in their conflict. Second, (and this ties into a previous rant in an episode thought post) Spock’s feelings are a part of him being human (which he pushes away because others try to push him towards being more human) and also something very deeply personal for Vulcans, which isn’t something he would be willing to discuss here, because it’s personal to him, and they’re in a professional setting, thus it being really rude to bring up. Kinda like a person bringing up you having sex, and when you say ‘I’d rather not talk about this’ them responding with saying you’re a virgin

- Spock is getting verbally attacked here and then Kirk goes to defend him but Spock drops the, “They forget I am half human.”

- “It’s for the pain (takes a shot of bourbon).” “But this is painless.” “Well, you should have warned me sooner, Mr Spock.” Nice, Scotty.

- Hey, I don’t know, but why don’t you test it on one of the townspeople

- “We’re not going to move from this spot.” Get transported, idiots

- They’re caged animals now

- They’re assuming the guns are spectres, they’re going to die

- “We can’t just turn it on and off.” “We must. Spock, the Vulcan mind-meld.” “Very well, sir.” EXCUSE ME WHAT

- smooth slide

- How do y’all feel about this… I’m not sure how to feel about this one…

- Spock looks so tender when melding with Kirk

- Kirk would play video games and never choose to be evil cause he’d feel bad. Relatable.

- Kaboom. The gay satellite exploded

- Back to the McCoy (left), Kirk (middle), Spock (right) configuration

“We overcame our instincts for violence.” Kirk beats someone up almost every episode idk what he’s on about.

Masterpost

Episode written by Lee Cronin

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #tos spock #leonard bones mccoy #tos bones #tos mccoy #jim kirk #captain james kirk #tos kirk #pavel chekov #tos chekov #montgomery scott #tos scotty

[themuse-if]

20 (or so) questions with Maxine Matthews

Let's get better acquainted with your future bestie! Maybe we can find out if you and Max really are just friends.

Interviewer: Max, the lively Aries with a penchant for dramatic writing. Before we dive in, when's your birthday?

Maxine: Oh, it's April 1st. I know, April Fools' Day, right? But trust me, I'm no joke.

Interviewer: A fiery Aries indeed. Any nicknames you go by?

Maxine: Most just call me Max, but a few close friends have some cheeky variations. Can't escape the creativity.

Interviewer: Tell us about some of your good traits.

Maxine: I'm a great listener, fiercely loyal, and I bring a good dose of humor to any situation. Oh, and my writing skills aren't too shabby either.

Interviewer: Impressive qualities. And what about some traits that might be considered not so good?

Maxine: Well, I can be a bit stubborn when it comes to my opinions. Some might call it passionate, I say it's just knowing what I want.

Interviewer: Fair enough. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy?

Maxine: Outside of my love for dramatic writing, I enjoy exploring different music genres, attending live performances, and occasionally trying my hand at cooking. Above all of that my favorite is going to see movies outdoors! Movies in the park, on a rooftop, or an old drive-in I'm a sucker for a good outdoor movie series.

Interviewer: Diverse interests. What would you say is your greatest strength?

Maxine: Definitely my ability to analyze and interpret stories. It comes in handy with my major, but it's also really great just in day to day life. It's really easy for me to asses social situations and I'm a pretty good judge of character.

Interviewer: Sounds like a valuable skill. Now, what about your biggest weakness?

Maxine: I'm not the most patient person. Waiting for things to unfold or dealing with slow-paced situations gets under my skin.

Interviewer: Patience is a virtue they say. How would you describe yourself in one word?

Maxine: Vibrant.

Interviewer: And how do you think others see you in one word?

Maxine: Unpredictable.

Interviewer: An intriguing perception. Moving on, what would you say is your greatest fear?

Maxine: Losing my voice, metaphorically speaking. I fear not being able to express myself, especially through my writing.

Interviewer: A deep-seated fear for a writer. Considering your current priorities, what tops the list?

Maxine: Right now, it's balancing my academic pursuits with making lasting memories. You're only young once, and I'm lucky enough to have these experiences at the height of my youth with my best friend. I've got big things planned for me and MC.

Interviewer: Indeed you should definitely cherish this time. Ok so, tell me about your family.

Maxine: It's a small, tight-knit group. Mom, dad, and my younger brother. We're a bunch of lively individuals with strong opinions and lots of love.

Interviewer: Sounds wonderful. Looking into the future, what are your goals?

Maxine: Professionally, I aim to be a successful writer, maybe even see my work on the big screen or the stage. Personally, just to keep growing and experiencing life.

Interviewer: Ambitious goals. On a lighter note, how would you spend a rainy day?

Maxine: Curled up with a good book, a warm blanket, and a cup of hot chocolate. Rainy days are perfect for a bit of cozy indulgence.

Interviewer: Classic choice. Any favorite book that you hold dear?

Maxine: It's tough to pick just one, but if I had to, I'd go with "Ghost Music" by An Yu. Well it's my favorite for right now. Trippy as this story is , Yu really grounds the reader in this spectral story in the mind of a young woman just longing to start over.

Interviewer: Sounds interesting I'll definitely give it a read. And your favorite movie?

Maxine: "Romeo + Juliet." I'm not usually one for stories that are told over and over again just in a different font. This one is just different, its so well done! And while Leo and Claire were great we all know that Harold Perrineau was the real star.

Interviewer: A great choice. Now, any dark secrets you're willing to share?

Maxine: No, well it's not a dark secret. I have this uh friend and they have recently realized that they might have deeper feelings for their best friend. It's not me I promise. *bites lip and gets shifty eyed* Any advice?

Interviewer: Well maybe this "friend" of yours should be open about how they're feeling. *uses air " " with a knowing look*

Maxine: Maybe, maybe I should...I meant they. Maybe they should, thanks for the advice I'll pass it on. *looks down and plays with braids*

Interviewer: Ok Max let's move on. What's your best physical feature?

Maxine: I really like my eyes, the shape more specifically.

Interviewer: Yes, the shape of your eyes is quite lovely. Alright and your worst feature?

Maxine: I wish that I had thicker eyebrows, but hey that's what makeup is for. *shrug*

Interviewer: Ok, now our last question, how would you describe being in love?

Maxine: I think that being in love is being with the person who brings out the best version of you, and vice versa. Not that you only show them your good side, but that they know you so well that you can work through the bad times together.

Interviewer: I see, well said. Thanks for sharing more about your life with me Maxine. I'm excited to see your journey continue to unfold! You'll have to let me know what happens with your friend. 🤭

#choice of games #choose your own adventure #choose your own story #dashingdon #interactive fiction #interactive if #twine if #twine interactive fiction #choice script #character profile #if: themuse #twine story #twine game #themuse if #RO interviews #interactive story #interact if

[smolghostbot]

GT July: Intimidate (1)

Can We Stop And Rewind?

Decided to do two entries today, both snippets from Patchwork Melody: Spring, Patch and Melody's first meeting story. This is the lower-intensity one, the other (posting in a bit) is very whump.

Context: Melody has brought Patch inside to help them with a sprained arm, but they both have very different ideas of what's going on.

Word Count: 800

Character bios in my pinned post

CWs for accidental ableism (discussed and apologized for) and mentions of kidnapping (a genuine misunderstanding). Also some swearing on Mel's part but if that bothers you this is not the blog for you.

========

Suddenly, their giant captor stood up and walked away. The sprite instantly became terrified. Were they getting something to punish them for their silence? Were they finally dropping the nice facade?

Eventually, the human came back to the table with a large book. Placing it down gently, so as not to scare the tiny creature with a loud thump, they began to flip through the book.

"Okay… pointed ears say an elf, but your ears aren't really very… elven. Maybe you're a mousefolk? But you have no tail… or if you do, it's a tiny one hidden under that little robe of yours… I did find you outside of my house, and your outfit looks a bit ragged… uh, no offense, of course. Maybe you're a brownie? I have some milk in the fridge, would that get you to talk?"

They could only look at the human with a confused look. What was she going on about?

"... No wings, so you probably aren't a fairy… unless you lost your wings. Did you ever have wings, little thing?"

The confused sprite only shook their head in a slow "no".

"OK… well, I probably… uh… should have gone for something more professional than a D&D guidebook… I think I still have my old college textbooks around here somewhere… gods knows those things are way too expensive to chuck…"

The human left, and took several more books off the shelf after a few minutes of looking around. She flipped through each book, taking what felt like forever, muttering to herself as she went.

"We're miles from the nearest forest… you clearly aren't invisible… Definitely don't look human… Those clothes don't look at all suitable for living in water… it's… maybe technically nighttime? But you weren't leaving a gift… unless… you were actually planting seeds! Is this backpack full of seeds?"

The small sprite instantly went into a panic as the human looked over to their backpack, frantically shaking their head in a no, and praying that the human didn't try to dig into the bag. They already had to fix it up after… the last human they met. Luckily, this human seems to have had no plans on that and continued digging through the books, becoming more frustrated over time.

Eventually, they seem to have hit their limit, and threw their head back in agitation before speaking in a more aggressive tone than they had previously. "Ugh! Why won't you just say anything!?"

-

Melody noticed a knocking noise on the plastic container her little "guest" was in, and saw the mysterious little thing clearly trying to get her attention. As she looked over at him, she saw him frantically motioning with his hands over his neck, in an X shape. His mouth was moving, as if speaking in an exaggerated way, as if to make it easier for her to see that no sound was coming out of his mouth. He clearly looked scared, probably threatened by her voice raising. Her eyes lit up in both realization and embarrassment.

"Oh my gods. You aren't just being silent to be difficult… you can't actually speak, can you?" As he nodded a yes, Mel lowered her head into her hands in shame.

"Shit, I'm such a dick. That's what your little hand motions were, oh my gods you were signing! My dumb ass was sitting here thinking you were trying to cast spells or something, ugh, I'm such an idiot! Maybe not everything about this situation is silly and fantastical, Mel, maybe he's just mute and you're being insensitive like always."

Their head raised and their face shifted into a goofy expression as they began to cheer with a clearly sarcastic voice, "Yeah Mel, yeah, woo, get upset at a mute guy for not speaking, like a COMPLETE ASSHOLE, hell yeah, casual ableism, woo!!"

The human hung her head in embarrassment again before continuing to berate herself, putting her head in her hands.

"Ugh… I swear, I didn't know, if I had known I would never… I'm not some, like, prick, I swear. Oh my gods, I'm so stupid. Way to make a first impression, at least I know you can't hex me or whatever because I would be so cursed right now for sure."

If the sprite could communicate at the moment, and wasn't still terrified of this human, they'd have some strong words about how kidnapping is also not a good first impression. However, they have no intent on insulting their captor, despite the clear look of regret already on the human's face. They remain still, waiting for the human to compose themself.

#fun fact: everything mel reads is a genuine fact about a tiny people mythos from somewhere in the world #oc tag: patch #oc tag: mel #patchwork melody #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #g/t ocs #gtjuly #g/t fearplay #a bit

[tobiasdrake]

Well, chief. I guess this is it. Thanks for everything, and I'll see you aro-- Oh, we aren't finished yet.

Goddammit.

Hypothetically speaking, if you were going to be alone with a man who might try to kill you, what size of knife would you carry on your person and where would you stash it? Asking for a friend.

Are you, though? You know in a Saturday Morning Cartoon when the adult guardian goes, "The plot is happening but YOU will go to your room and behave yourself. You will NOT slip out and go do the thing."

But this is like episode 87 and we all know they're going to slip out and go do the thing anyway so, really, saying this is just a formality at this point?

That's your level of authority, Yakou. Thank you so much for saving my life from my terrible mistakes last chapter; Anyways, back to doing the things that got me in trouble in the first place!

I'll write him a note and leave it in Halara's hotel room, along with an IOU formally requesting that they deliver it to Yakou upon confirmation of my death.

I obviously won't be able to pay the IOU but at this point I'm pretty sure Halara only cares about the optics of charging money.

Kurumi, I took you to meet my dangerous, ambiguous wildcard contact. There's a 50/50 chance he's going to tie you to a chair and dangle you over a vat of acid before all is said and done. We are well past the point where something as innocuous as worry is inappropriate.

OH THANK GOD. Of Death. Literally. Thank you for finally ending this awkward quasi-farewell, Shinigami.

We're running out of good ideas to escape from this sub. This is one step above pointing behind Yakou and shouting, "LOOK, A FALSE LEAD!" then bolting when he turns around.

Because then it will spoil. The best kinds of evidence have an expiration date!

Yuma finally proving that abandoning all pretense and bailing at the speed of feet is, and always has been, a viable option for dodging Yakou's paper-thin attempts at professional responsibility.

Sorry, man, but you-

HAHAHAHA OKAY, Yuma made me laugh but I was unprepared for Kurumi to then also bolt out the door. XD Run, guys! Yakou looks like he maxes out at a shamble! A brisk jogging pace should do!

To be fair, she does not work here. It'd be uncomfortable for her to stick around someone else's workspace without her one and only connection to this place.

Sorry, Yakou. As hard as you're going to kiss her ass, Kurumi is not interested in becoming your intern. She's here for Yuma. And she is as much of a troublemaker.

HOLY SHIT YOU GODDAMN VAMPIRE

I legit did not turn the camera to check the fireplace. He may have been here for this entire scene thus far.

I KNOW RIGHT!? We need to put a bell on him. Wait, no, bell only chimes when you move. ...one of those perpetual motion clicky ball sets that managers have on their desk to make them look important. He can wear it around his neck.

You heard as much as Yakou, man. Yuma was super cryptic and then fled.

*sigh* Okay, what's Desuhiko pulling this time, Vivia? Is the pale blue blink supposed to be Fubuki? But then the storm would be... him getting the shit kicked out of him....

Ugh, I don't have time for his shenanigans, I have a trap to go die in.

For a man who was all gung-ho about box cutting my throat out, you sure don't seem to be in any rush to do it. I think Vivia used up all of his energy trying to stand up dramatically.

How are you going to feel if I die before you have a chance to kill me, Vivia? Can you live with that regret? Or... I guess, since you want to die someday, maybe not being able to live with that regret would be a good thing.

I guess. Keep doing what you're doing and hope for the worst, my guy. Power of positive thinking!

#master detective archives: rain code #drake plays rain code

[whisky-tango-foxtrot-biteme]

Narcissim

Today, narcissism seems to be a buzz word. Particularly in pop culture and in politics.

I will not throw words around that imply I can diagnose someone. I'm nothing more than an everyday kind of person. I go to work, I live in a house, I pay my taxes, I have friends, I like certain foods, and I have a college education that did not include the ability to medically or clinically diagnose someone.

I understand there is NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. Clinically, from what I've read on medical and research sites, it's a relatively rare personality disorder. I also understand everyone shows narcissistic traits from time to time. We might feel envious of our friend's brand new car while we're struggling to make the rent. Or we might exaggerate our skills a bit in a friendly sporting competition--"you should see just how hard I hit that ball, it was nearly out of the park!" That's normal. What isn't normal is from my simple understanding is that someone with NPD has an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and feels they deserve special treatment or demand excessive attention. I'm not a clinician and I do not have the ability to diagnose a personality disorder. I am staying completely away from that argument.

However, it can be reasonable to assume that someone with NPD can be abusive verbally, emotionally, or psychologically. But you do not require a diagnosis of NPD to be abusive. I tend to think abusers probably need some mental health intervention, but that is not my problem as well. I don't intend to focus on trying to understand abusers here. I am concerned only with my experiences and giving my perspective as someone who experienced some rather intense verbal and emotional abuse from a family member. Over time, I will be discussing specific incidents and situations I experienced. I do not care to diagnose or try to understand the abuser. I have somewhat of an understanding of why he did what he did and I know the context. None of that, nor his claims of having a few mental health diagnoses, excuses his behavior. He was a grown ass man who refused to take responsibility for his behavior.

I will tell my story simply because I believe we all have a voice, I have a voice. My family choked my voice through their reactions of silence and passive support of what he did. What this man's potential diagnosis could be, I have no clue nor do I actually care. That's between him and his mental health professionals. While this man truly had reason for a lot of support, his abuse was ignored or excused because honestly, the situation was awful for everyone involved. However, I don't believe the tragic situation excuses him. It simply wasn't a one-off incident or just a mistake. It was deliberate behavior and definitely was abusive. I want to encourage anyone who experiences verbal, emotional, or psychological abuse to speak up, tell their story, and get the support they need.

#emotional abuse #verbal abuse #psychological abuse #my story #my voice #narcissism

[impunkster-syndrome]

thanks for responding

well, i’ve interacted with ppl of various stances, but what’s more important is that i’ve never been victimized by either of them, that’s for sure.

yes, i am aware of most thing you have listed, tho that’s not really what my ask was about.

i should’ve explained my intentions or something ig. and yes, i do mean no disrespect, as in “i have no beef with your views in general or with you personally, i’m not trying to defend or call out or proselytize any syscourse position” and i’m not here to invalidate your personal experiences, okay? i’ve read a post in my recs and i felt like i don’t agree with this wording yet am unsure if i’m on with this sentiment, so i wanted to challenge the part i’m weirded out by and mb see the logic behind it. that’s all, basically.

i believe i don’t owe my medical information to anyone? i’ll just say that if i didn’t think it’s appropriate for me to speak on this i sure as hell wouldn’t. anyway, you don’t have to believe me and i have no way to prove that my intentions aren’t sinister, so idk whatever.

frankly, i personally really dislike online discourses as a whole - it’s just an unstructured swamp of polarized radicalizing opinions that lead to no factual real-life activism, breeding hypervigilance and hostility instead, perpetuating constant infighting and harassment. i do understand where both positions are coming from but imo both “camps” suck if you dig deep enough and i’d say the “pro-/anti-endo” and “anti-/sysmed” labels are entirely useless beyond mentioning in DNIs and blacklisting tags, but i digress.

back to the ask. what i said wasn’t just “the experiences are different”, i specifically stated that disabled disordered systems are generally more vulnerable to ableism, saneism and stigma cuz of the symptoms that the disordered dissociation has vs. cases where plurality is non-disordered and non-disabling. so how is it “punk” and “pro-disability” to claim otherwise? i agree that disregarding any non-dissociative case as not oppressed is unfair, but if such case has any other stigmatized or systemhood-adjacent mental health issues then i wasn’t referring to that as “non-disabled” in the first place. or is that literally what you meant by “regardless of the intersection” bit in the og post?

the second part of the ask is settled, i agree to that.

Nowhere in either the ask or the original post does it say "regardless of intersection." It does mention intersectionality, but you're literally putting words in my mouth that never were there. At this point you are coming at this from a defensive perspective because you just keep making up shit like the idea of sysmedicalism being useful to disordered systems and making up your whole ass new definition of it (Plus the idea that plural always = dissociative disorder when that isn't the case even for some disordered systems!). Go reread the first post because you clearly didn't remember jack shit from it.

I have DID. Professionally diagnosed and medically recognized before then. I've been denied psychiatric and medical care due to it. We're RAMCOA survivors and have multiple sidesystems. We have experienced ableism from anti-endos and pro-endos. And I used to be a sysmed right before finding out I was a system at all. I've seen people actually fake systems and get outed due to admitting it- and funnily enough most were sysmeds.

My idea was that all plurality is a mental illness that was inherently always medical and is something to be "fixed." I saw a lot of chronic conditions like that. Now that I've gone through the journey of discovery, I don't see the state of being plural as inherently medical- but the distress and trauma can be. That's the big difference. Sysmedicalism sees the state of existing as plural as inherently from trauma and suffering, and therefore inherently a disorder and medical.

I don't think every system should have to see their existence as something that is inherently disordered or from trauma if they personally choose not to. Forcing disabled systems (Because, let's be real here, disordered systems are disabled and you brought it up) to view their existence as inherently medical, as something defined by suffering, is cruel and allows for no diversity in our disability. We aren't allowed to be happy in how we exist- we have to see ourselves as ableist singlets see us. Poor disabled things so broken by our experiences that we cannot know ourselves.

Sysmedicalism has this kind of ableism too since it bases the view of systems on the ideas of the ableist people who want to "cure" us of plurality. You see it in the "endos just don't know they're traumatized," "(introject) is too popular so everyone with it is faking," "you have to be traumagenic to really be a system," etc. The term itself- "system medicalist" is not useless. It is specifically for describing a set of beliefs that do actual damage. Calling it useless or performative to have a stance on something that is ableism that is extremely common online and so frequently has lead to doxxing, suicide baiting, threats, and no progress on actually talking about plural unity just shows how disconnected you are. So many people are so "Oh this is just online" when you do realize that these beliefs are held by people when offline, right? Online is just where people can be as rancid and ignorant as possible with little to no consequences.

You're playing defense for ableism because your whole ass first ask was going "Oh sysmedicalism isn't too bad because of my personal definition of it and inexperience with being impacted by it." Do you realize how you sound to anyone actually in tune with disability advocacy and has been in many plural spaces for years? To someone who has actually seen what sysmedicalism is and how that is the same beliefs of the neurologist who believed my DID makes me unlikely to actually know what I am experiencing just coming from the mouth of often a singlet inserting themselves into our discussions with tokenization or another system?

You keep making shit up. No one is saying that disabled systems are not impacted by ableism. What I am saying is that the idea of all systems being disordered, traumagenic, needing to have arbitrary criteria hit, and defined by our suffering is not helpful to fighting the ableism we experience from each other and others. This is on you for not knowing what sysmedicalism actually is and making it my problem that you keep pulling shit out of thin air to say I am saying it. Send me an ask one more time and you're getting blocked because I have repeatedly told you what sysmedicalism actually is and you're just being intentionally obtuse if you send another ask making shit up.

#madpunk #the blackbox askbox #mad pride #pluralgang #disordered plurality

[fairytail-whathesays]

what are your ns/fw headcanons of Elfman? doesn't have to be a ship in specific, unless you have one in mind. Just happy to finally see someone else that thinks he is gay.

This picture is brought to you by the pecsoftheday twitter.

Enjoy!

I'll fill the rest of these slots out if the names appear in my inbox tbh.

A lot of h*rny material written about Elfman by gay people is all "oh and he's into muscle worship and big d/cks and MANLINESS and--"

What, did you think I was going to correct this? Offer some alternative take? Fuck no. Elfman Strauss, much like werewolves and the color purple, belongs to gay men and you can get with the program.

Elfman is not super confident when it comes to sex and has trouble working up the nerve to date, let alone engage. He can be nervous, even if he really wants something, so sex with him tends to go pretty slow unless a partner is sufficiently forward.

He's generally a verse bottom. Everyone who intends to make love with him is better off for it. He's not exclusively a bottom, though, so thrillseekers, think twice...

Yes, Elfman has the biggest d/ck in the whole guild. And probably several other guilds. Some other guys have d/cks that could be considered a challenge or intimidating, but Elfman is packing one that looks big even on him, and he's already significantly bigger than most other people around him.

For this reason, he rarely tops even if he would want to, because the potential to hurt his partner is high, and diverting that possibility takes a lot more time and effort than most would consider worth it.

Elfman does have a dominant and/or aggressive side, but only experienced professionals should try and rile it up. Even bottoming, Dominant Elfman can be a handful, and when topping... 💀

We can't really say he has a bubble butt because he works out so much that that thing is all muscle, a lot of muscle. His squat routine would kill lesser men. If you're into that, though, it's right there--his ass is a thing of beauty and bigger than most men's heads. Do Things To It.

Speaking of muscle, if you're down to go to pound town with the Beast, please take full advantage of it. Elfman loves being body-worshipped, absolutely loves to be made to feel sexy and powerful. Reward all the hard work he puts into his body, please.

Elfman's other fetish, surprisingly, is kissing. He just really loves kissing guys, and he will be very disappointed if sex doesn't include at least a noticeable amount of kissing.

On that note, Elfman can be surprisingly romantic about sex. He likes guys that are intimate, who touch him and explore him, who treat sex as worth a little romance.

#elfman strauss #headcanon #nc17

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

This is a big one, going under a cut for several paragraphs of introspection and some brief mention of my last suicide attempt.

Hell of a thing, realizing this time last year was about the start of my Nuclear RSD Spiral that ultimately led to me trying to go play chicken with a freight train back in February with half a bottle of rum and a handful of sleep meds in my stomach to make sure I didn't flinch. Obviously I didn't, but I did get far enough that I had to drag my drunk ass off the train tracks and go stumbling back home to have the rest of my meltdown in peace and un-queue the suicide note I'd had prepped since last November. Fun stuff, crazy to think about.

Especially considering how I'm doing now that I've had the necessary wake up call from that whole situation and have finally started internalizing "hey, letting people see you hurting and hoping they'll decide you've suffered enough to deserve help is not the same as communicating your needs. Talk to people before it gets to your usual Talk About It After You Tried To Off Yourself About It. If it gets to this point again, next time won't be an attempt." (Fun stuff, lots to thank my grandparents for.)

And now I've got the right medication combo to help me keep an even keel. Wellbutrin/Vyvanse? Bad. Lamotrigine/Vyvanse? I might actually be a human being for the first time in my life. I've been getting a shower every night and brushing my teeth twice a day without fail since I started. And trust me when I say that's fuckin astronomical progress for me. Even when I found out it wasn't the case, part of me was still certain it was fake that people could just get up and do things without mentally screaming at themselves for anywhere between 2 hours to 4 months first. Shit, I can do it now and it still feels fake.

Anyways. The ability to Task was an expected improvement, as was the ability to regulate my momentum on said task better than without meds (ie, at fucking all). Although I figured it'd be a ways off to get this much improvement. I can put things down without freaking out (mostly) and I can pick them back up again after an interruption.

Another unexpected bonus too, I hadn't even thought to anticipate any change in another big factor at all. Like, not only did I not realize it was on the table, I hadn't realized that this particular table even existed. I figured this other issue couldn't improve with anything but another two years of therapy.

I've got a lot more control over regulating my emotions and the kind of obsessive, destructive thought spirals (usually RSD or my usual Leech And Burden thoughts or my brain cooking up scenarios to get upset about because they felt too real, or a fun combination of the three) that'd lead to me writing off entire days or weeks until I burnt myself out. Used to be these were so intense it'd just kind of gut me and I couldn't do anything but ride it out. Intense enough that I've had a couple mental health professionals tell me "yeah, no, it's not enough for formal diagnosis, but there's definitely strong evidence for OCD where the autism and ADHD overlap," one of whom went "right, that makes sense with what you've described about the last month, and speaking of the last month, i think we should consider going back to once a week since every three weeks hasn't been helping you." It used to be that the only way I could get these under control would be by heading them off before they got started or getting borderline blackout drunk in the middle of the spiral and distracting myself until I couldn't stay awake to think anymore. Both required sufficient distraction because every attempt at actually trying to take it apart and process just perpetuated it. Healthy, right?

But now, not only do the little things that used to sap my energy for the whole day now just breeze by like nothing (again, hygiene stuff), I can stop the spiral. They're not nearly as loud and sharp as they used to be and I can just... put them down. I've got the energy to do more and the control to just pick something else up until I'm ready. The bad ones still take a few tries, but that's huge after 25 years of "welp this is just the week we're having." And even bigger than that, it's already easier to pick it apart to find what needs fixing instead of just metaphorically cutting myself up while making a bigger mess.

It's also easier to not need my anger as a wall to keep between me and the people who have hurt me. For the first time since my granddad died, I can look at him and my grandmother as people through a sympathetic lense and still be able to say that the bridge there is burned and I won't be going back. I used to need to think of them as awful, irredeemable people just to keep from crawling back for their approval.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed about everything that's hurt me deeply enough for my therapist to go poking at in the wake of a PTSD screener saying "yeah we're not even close to done, try again next year." But it's not the only thing that's there, and maybe someday I might even be able to scrape out my own closure instead of starving myself waiting for apologies that'll never come. Cleaning out the bullshit associated with the hurt didn't kick off the meltdown it would have even a month ago. The little scar from an arm-clawing meltdown last November is just a bitter little emotional bruise that I can push right back to the back of my mind until the dirt-spot mark finally fades out completely.

It's easier to not hate over it now. I've got more energy now and can finally use it for better things. Why waste it turning people into demons when I know damn well even if I wasn't the only one who fucked up and hurt people, I still did exactly that. And yeah, there's stuff I'm gonna stay bitter over, on both sides of things, and probably still mildly bitch about when the irritation of it decides to pop back in for a visit. That feels like a fair tradeoff for something that did still very much almost kill me, but it's not gonna stop me anymore. And it's not even a matter of "the best revenge is letting go and living well" because in the half dozen cases that stick the hardest, that wouldn't even be revenge. Fucked up as things ended, it's not like I was hated. Hell, maybe I'm lying to myself when I go this far, but I'd like to think that most of those people would be happy to see me doing better, even if they'd promptly turn right the fuck around and pretend they didn't see me at all.

Or maybe things did fester to a point where there's just as much animosity as I had for them and they'd rather see me lose a game of chicken a few more times before they can let go. God knows I was bitter enough for a good while to think pretty goddamn frequently that I hoped they were in just as much pain as I was. So yeah, that's also fair. Maybe they don't care either way, and as much as that idea stings the most, it's still entirely fair.

Regardless, I've got better things to do. I've got some self love and self respect to cultivate after realizing I was never given any kind of foundation besides "If You're Not Giving Everything, You're Not Worth Anything." Joked about it for years, but only in the last month did it actually Click. Admittedly I'm still falling into some of the same thinking, although instead of "I don't deserve the love people give me unless I'm Being Useful, I'm a manipulative liar if I get it without earning it," it's more like "I can finally Do Things, so I can finally deserve my own love." It's a brittle crutch, but that just means I know not to give it too much weight while I get my feet under me and start building the foundation I actually deserve. Because people deserve love and I'm a people too, goddammit.

Anyways, this was a big long rant partly for myself and partly for the six of you who've paid attention and might wanna know how I've been doing. I'm still standing, let's see where it takes me. For now, I'm gonna go be gay with my girlfriend of 6 months as of last week.

#answers to questions nobody asked #not sure if i should put this one in the bitching tag just for archival purposes or not #give myself a way to look back on the whole mess and then have one bit like #okay yeah i almost turned myself into half a mile of mincemeat courtesy of the bnsf over the last year of shit trying to kill me #but i didn't and i got better shit now for surviving it #long post #suicide #suicide mention #logan's bitching again

[holyluvr]

sensitive subject & long post

***I am aware that surgical lobotomies are usually more severe in results and traumatizing in a diff way than psych malpractice, but at the end of the day— my frontal lobe was damaged by doctors that I had tried to escape from and begged for anyone to get me away from.

I don’t know anything about the woman with the lobotomy tools tattoo, but if she’s the type of crazy or deviant that has to worry about these things, I’d say the tattoo is only a bit insensitive or in bad taste due to how visible it is and anyone seeing it not having context as to why she has it. Otherwise why is it a problem? If I saw that, I would be uncomfortable, wary, and distance myself a bit more than automatically assume she thinks lobotomies are chic. I have no idea what her reason behind the tattoo was or if she’s part of a group that has real and understandable worry about this still in 2023 rather than “reclaiming” the misogyny of the 1900s. It’s a bit contradictory to say that it’s a real concern for multiple groups of people and then assume it’s not for someone else based on appearance alone— and it’s not too uncommon for someone part of a minority group to reclaim symbols, imagery, words, etc that are used as violence against them. It’s really not uncommon for anyone traumatized to reclaim imagery that’s related to their trauma. If someone told me I was jumping on a trend and using psych malpractice as a style and ignored my history with psychiatric abuse or that being a possibility that I maybe don’t want to talk about, I’d be pretty annoyed and hope to God that they have personal experience themselves and aren’t just speaking out of their asses to me from what they read in books or class.

But anyway, the last few sentences of that video are the takeaway people should probably consider more, imo. It’s not about one period in history, it’s not about helping patients, it’s not about anything but doctors and lawmakers playing God and trying to erase people and traits that they deem as too “high risk” or “deviant” for society. Hence targeted minorities being included in discussion who aren’t crazy. Sure, there have been doctors who referred patients for the lobotomy or performed it with good intentions, but grabbing at outliers to derail and ignore the blatant reality of how the USA psych institution works is….not cool but a common way people respond to me anytime I bring up the subject! Because someone has to stand up for the poor, poor psychiatrists!😢

Although the surgery was given a bad reputation and restrictions, do people seriously ignore all of the stories and concerns coming from mostly psychotic or “unpredictable” or “deviant” or “complicated” patients about the cups of medication and TMS/ECT being forced on us as children, teens, people who were unable to consent at the time, or adults given terrifying ultimatums and threats if we hadn’t “consented”? Oh, but believing crazy people is difficult, so how about the stories of kids who were hospitalized by good-intending and concerned parents who then meet their child for visitation hours and realize that something is wrong, and it turns out that their child was given heavy treatment that harmed their wellbeing without guardian knowledge or consent? And how many of those children have a disorder that causes psychosis or disruptive behavior?

All of those treatments, every pill on it’s own or in safe combos, TMS & ECT, and even ABA therapy can be used as a helpful tool in treatment. But they can also be used incorrectly with the same base motive as surgical lobotomies.

I was never the same after my second and third hospitalizations, and no one was surprised except for my new psychiatric nurse to find out a few years later that my frontal lobe had been damaged, most likely from psychotropic medications. He was mortified because he personally knew one of the doctors in my records and referred patients there. He was the first of a small handful of medical professionals that I’ve met who would actually turn their back on another doctor and be horrified and enraged for an LGBT, schizo, complicated, and unpredictable patient. I was 16 years old, and my appointment ended up going past the hours that they were open. Finally, when I had lost hope already, someone stopped typing and looked up at me when I mumbled something shitty about a past doctor. Instead of typing that I was easily agitated, aggressive, or overly pessimistic, he asked me why I called the doctor an explicit word then did what he could in his power to report it.

My psychologist also reported the same doctor 3 years later and I had legal reports filed against him, but I was still forced to be his patient again last year. If you don’t think the system is fucked up when a patient, the patient’s family, the patient’s ex-psychiatric nurse, the patients psychologist, and the patients current psychiatrist all have sent in faxes, emails, and calls to the local hospitals and crisis teams that someone should not be sent to the same hospital again for a long list of reasons that include criminal behavior and neglect…and the patient is still forced back to that hospital, back under that psychiatrist’s care….idek what to say because that sounds like a violation of rights and disregard for a patients wellbeing to me. It was in their system when I got there. The social worker immediately brought up the reports and forms and promised me nothing would go wrong this time. Lmao right. No offer of a different doctor. No offer to find me a bed in a different hospital. Just “I promise”. Because I’m insane, so who cares? They’re doing me a favor and saving my life! 🤩

No one listened to or believed me when I tried to tell them that I wasn’t scared of the pills as poison or anything paranoia related; I was afraid because I felt like I was losing parts of myself and couldn’t voice my thoughts or emotions about it; actually, my ability to speak was damaged enough to have me considered nonverbal for a while, and my movement was moreso uncontrollable spasms— I couldn’t do anything between the episodes of catatonia that was, of course, blamed on my Schizoaffective Diagnosis and seen as a reason to add more medications. I was 13 years old and on so many medications that my parents had to have my school nurse involved to call me out of class and take my midday 2 pill cups under supervision. And of course I was getting sicker.

It wasn’t until I was an adult and reached out to multiple specialists and psychiatrists to look at my pharmaceutical records and brain scans that I realized, watching their faces turn somber or grossed out as they went through it, when their tone changed and voice fell in volume to ask me to confirm hospital stays and names of providers that were in the system, “can you confirm an appointment with [psychiatrist] for TMS and medications?”. I finally accepted that I wasn’t crazy about it. They were gaslighting a child that they knew was already being gaslit at home. I knew what they were doing: They were trying to chemically lobotomize a child instead of helping me because I was too deviant and unlikeable; a transsexual and bisexual child who wasn’t growing out of the homosexuality despite therapy and had problems with authority, a history of long term abuse and family that normalized criminal behavior, complaints from family and school about disruptive behavior, and psychosis. A child like that is scary to society because they could grow up to be an actual transsexual who partakes in homosexuality, breaks the law, and could be a danger to others and thorn in the system’s side.

How a doctor can keep his license while viewing patients, especially children, that way is beyond me. But yeah, lobotomy isn’t something that went away that people, especially those at higher risk from doctor bias, aren’t worried about anymore or don’t have trauma with. “60 years old” maybe for reported, surgical lobotomies. But there are people younger than 18 to this day who have had parts of themselves damaged via psychiatric malpractice who don’t even know how to talk about it or to who. I don’t even understand what I lost in any way that I can put into words. I just know that I’m not the same person, and I know I lost a lot of people around then because they didn’t understand why it felt like they lost a friend/family member who was standing in the same room as them. I lost my future with school. I was further traumatized and distrustful and bitter. Every childhood disorder that I had was now a more severe, adult version that they didn’t know how to treat and overwhelmed them.

I’m traumatized. My family is traumatized from being a part of it. We already had trauma in the family from medical malpractice that lead to deaths, near deaths, permanent physical disability, and abuse of someone with an intellectual disability by hospital and school staff. I’m sure that played a role in why my parents took so long to get me psychiatrists and psychotherapy in the first place. It was painful. My family and the nurses had to pin me to the floor and force me to swallow then check my mouth with a flashlight and watch me for 30min because YEAH I wanted to throw it up or get it out of my system somehow. I felt like I was overdosing on diphenhydramine anytime they gave it to me, but they wouldn’t believe me. Thinking back and comparing it to an ER visit I’ve had, I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that I spent my middle school-high school years forced to live through mild serotonin syndrome. That and them giving me large amounts of benzodiazepines in middle school? My father’s psych encouraging them to cut his benzos in half and make me take them when I was in elementary school? Yeah, I fought back. That was basic survival instincts, not paranoia.

There isn’t anywhere to really talk about this because people immediately want to assume it’s anti-medication propaganda. They accuse people of being part of that whole “anti-conspiracy to numb everyone’s brain with psychotropic medications having to do with capitalism and state control” mentality. And that’s not what I’m talking about. And people’s lived experiences aren’t political tools unless they are specifically applying it to a political stance. Sometimes it’s just to vent about something more taboo that we’ve gone through that isn’t widely discussed or taken into account.

I think meditation is important and can be used in a way that saves or betters lives, but that doesn’t change the fact that putting heavier restrictions and medical stigma on lobotomies isn’t going to stop or change the motives of doctors who believe in permanently damaging the prefrontal cortex as a means of treatment, and they will find a way that doesn’t need any surgical tools if that’s the way they view patients. The current tools at their disposal are mainly medications, TMS, and ECT. If you use those with the intention to (fry) alter someone’s frontal lobe without consent and in a way that harms their quality of life but makes them easier for the system to deal with, that’s not too much different from attempting to do the same with surgical instruments. It’s bullshit to pretend that USA lobotomies ended when they stopped mass producing and buying the tools necessary for surgery. It’s bullshit to assume that the treatment modality stopped existing when one of the tools was taken away.

The problem with lobotomies is that it’s an entire treatment modality mindset. You can ban the Tx, but you still have doctors who were trained or allowed to view psychiatric treatment as a means to commit human rights violations and doctors who were trained under the men who performed lobotomies back in the mid 1900s. Until those doctors are held accountable, nothing will change. Lobotomies still exist both literally with metal and anesthesia and with medications used off-label, in harmful combos, at dangerous ages, and heavily. Then you have literal magnets and electricity still being applied in combination to medications.

#… #long post #lobotomy tw #psychiatric abuse tw #psychiatric malpractice tw #acquired brain injury #<- was never diagnosed but lookin @ my neurologists’ notes wellllll

[misguidedasgardian]

Are we going to see more of Jace in future chapters? Is he as bad as his mother or does he have any redeemable qualities? I know he asked her about Aemma but he didn’t really have a big reaction when Rheanyra said he’ll probably have to marry Baella instead and that Aemma is lost. Does he just not care or does he not want to show his mother his reaction? He cared enough to bring it up so I guess that’s something. He seemed rather determined to win her over when they were betrothed before the war so I was just wondering if he harbors any romantic feelings for her even if she might not return them

Also I can’t wait until the confrontation between reader and Rhaenyra when reader finds out that Rhaenyra did fuck all to keep readers kids safe while her own children are no where even near the war. Reader should beat her ass like Maddie in euphoria

This Jace, as the one in the series (according to me), wants to the the best heir as he can... mmmm it's weird to explain, but... let's try

He takes patience in his sword training, he practices his high Valyrian, he tries to show himself Strong hehe, and serious, alongside his mother, he speaks with seriousness... He wants to adopt the attitude he thinks an heir should have. He tries to impose, to act with solemnity

Does he love Aemma? i'm not sure, he loves what it represents, a "perfect" targaryen princess, she looks and seems this perfect al ittle thing, she knows how to ride a dragon, reads history and philosophy, sows... and this union was chosen by the King himself, for him, it is a great honor! It will unite his family! (and take it away from aemond hehe)

But at the same time, when he realizes he cannot get her back, and that she truly have feelings for Aemond (everyone could see it), he becomes cold towards the idea of her. He wants to seem "professional" to his mother. So he doesn't quite react when she told him that... He will do as he is told...

I don't think we are going to see more of him... according to my plans, and I regret it, because lately (like... yesterday), I started reading things about him and I have to say.... it interest me... so let's see next chapter

Uuufff I just wrote an scene for chapter 32 (or 31 not sure yet) the confrontation between reader and Rhaenyra... and it gets MEANNNNN, reader truly becomes feral for her family

#misguidedhotd

[madam-wakefield]

Open when...Chapter 6

AO3 Link FF Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn't sure how she's going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn't expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn't a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn't all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta'd. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you are being driven crazy by Elinor…

She bangs her head against the desk, loud enough that it’s probably audible to Elinor on the other end of the phone, though that may not be a bad thing right now. She’s told Elinor five times already that she is at work and that no, she CANNOT drive up to Brighton to pick her up because she’s had a falling out with the friends she’s gone away for the weekend with. 

“No, Elinor, I’m working right now and tomorrow, and actually for the next three days. Unfortunately, despite being your mother, I can not drop everything just for you. I have a hospital ward to run, and I don’t think losing my job because I’ve left work to come and pick you up would look too good. What about your father? Can’t he come and get you?”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say because she gets an earful from her daughter about never mentioning her dad to her again because his new wife is SO much more important than his daughter is. And as much as Serena hates to say it, she agrees with Edward on this one. Not that Elinor should come in second to yet another new love interest of his, but that Elinor needs to fend for herself and learn that the world can’t just drop everything when it suits you. If the world did that, she’d have Bernie here right now. The ward is crazy and Raf is on holiday and Morven and Jasmine are ill so she’s been left with a bunch of F1s who, despite having the initial five years of med school training under their belt, still have so much to learn and still need so much of Serena’s support and expertise. The only saving grace is that Dom has come down from Keller to lend a helping hand. 

And just as she’s thinking of Dom, he’s there knocking on the door, “I’m sorry, Miss Campbell, but we have an emergency being brought in in the next ten minutes, just wanted to give you the heads up.” She nods her acknowledgement at Dom before returning her attention to Elinor.

“Look, Elinor, I’ve got to go, I’ve got an emergency coming in at work. Looks like you are going to have to find a way to sort out your differences with your friends. I love you, and I’ll speak to you once you’re home.��� 

Serena doesn’t give Elinor a chance to reply before she hangs up the phone down with a sigh. She really does try with Elinor but sometimes she can’t help but blame Edward for raising her to be so spoiled. 

She goes into surgery still stressing about the situation with Elinor, glad that she is able to do the liver repair surgery with ease. She lets Dom do a lot of the work, knowing that getting to work on a few trauma surgeries will do him some good professionally too. She doesn’t get back into the office until much later that evening. When she does, she picks up her phone to move it off some paperwork she needs to complete before she can call it a day only to realise there are fifteen missed calls and even more text messages from her delightful daughter. 

She scans them quickly, none of them too polite, all blaming her for every problem the two of them have ever had, telling her she always cares about work more than she does Elinor. She sighs and throws her phone on the desk, not bothering to reply to the childishness. 

She loves Elinor dearly but sometimes she drives her crazy.

It’s then that she remembers seeing an envelope from Bernie holding exactly the same words. She’s got paperwork to do, but heaven knows she’s not going to get it done while she’s feeling like this, so taking time to read a letter from Bernie isn’t going to hurt. 

Serena – Open when you are being driven crazy by Elinor…

My Dearest Serena,

Take a breath! We all know how crazy Elinor can make you, but stop, pause and just give yourself a second. Yes, she drives you crazy, but you love her and you wouldn’t have her any other way. And sorry to say it, but she got some of her fierceness from you. 

I don’t know what she has done or is doing to drive you crazy but just take a step back and think. Remember how much you value your relationship with her, how much you love being able to go and watch her performances. Remember all the good times you’ve had with her and remind yourself why you wouldn’t have her any other way. 

Better? Good, now go and speak to her or call her or text her or do whatever it is you need to make her realise how much you care about her. This is time for the two of you now so I’m going to say I Love You and I miss you, and let you go.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

Serena is so thankful for Bernie at this moment. She knows how hard Bernie finds it not really having a relationship with her own daughter, but she always supports Serena’s relationship with Elinor. She will do anything to make sure Serena knows why it’s so important to maintain her relationship with Elinor. Serena takes a breath and picks up her phone from the desk, composing a new message to her daughter. 

Elinor, despite what you might think I do love you and care about you. Unfortunately, you are a 22-year-old college student and I can’t just drop everything to come and pick you up, no matter how much I want to be there to support you. Part of adult life is working through disagreements so unfortunately you are going to have to do that this time. Once again, I do love you, message me once you’re home and we'll arrange a girly day out. 

And if, when they go out for their girly day, Elinor inquires about how Serena is doing without Bernie and if Bernie is okay, she will totally take that as progress.

#Open When #Berena #Bernie Wolfe #Buckle Fandom #Holby #Holby City #berena fanfic #madam wakefield writes #serena campbell #Berena fanfiction #Berena FF #Holby FF #Holby Fanfic #Holby Fanfiction #Holby City FF #Holby City Fanfic #Holby City Fanfiction