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#He thinks she’s super weird
caterpillarinacave · 1 year
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You know, as ready as Neo is to ascend, and as much as she wants to, I don’t think she would be willing to entirely forget Roman.
I think Neo tells the Blacksmith that.
“Don’t worry” says the Blacksmith “You, and your friend, would approve the life I have in mind for you”
So Neo ascends. She’s different now. She doesn’t know who she is, where she’s going. She’s just a person, wandering around the ever after. She’ll figure out what to do eventually.
She wanders around the Ever After. She meets people, fraternizes with them, and inevitably moves on. Some part of the every after will fit her, or She’s been told.
She’ll find it someday.
Eventually She stumbles across a glittering table in the woods littered with all sorts of things. The air smells like smoke, the various colored gemstones lining the trees beautifully eyecatching.
“Don’t set those on fire!”
Someone at the table has spoken, and She turned quizzically toward the clamor, where several pairs of eyes had fixed on her, all looking rather frantic, with the exception of the young man at the very head of the table.
“You could actually” He twirls a silver spoon around in his hand “Light them on fire, that is.”
“They’ll blow up!” Someone shouts.
“Some people” He leans lazily back in his chair “All up in a tizzy over the chance of an explosion.”
He meets her gaze, the lazy smile around his lips somehow deeply familiar.
The rest of the tables inhabitants return their clamor but She finds herself entirely focused on the person at the head, who continues looks at her with an odd sort of curiosity.
She finds herself at the head of the table next to Him. Somehow She’s enjoying herself more in this random gathering than she has anywhere else in the Everafter.
“So you don’t talk much, huh?”
She thinks for a minute. She’s never talked before. It doesn’t seem like something she wants to do, so;
Nope.
“How charming!” He grins. “Why talk talk, when you can talk without talking?”
She smiles. Some people have trouble listening without talking.
He nods solemly. He has no problem hearing her without talking.
What’s your name?
“Oh, my name? I can’t say I’ve ever thought about that. I’ll get to it later. You?”
Don’t have one.
“Well, you’ll find one. Coffee?”
She doesn’t know what coffee is, but she knows it’s not supposed to be in such a lovely cup.
She sticks her tongue out at him. He looks mock aghast.
She sticks around with Him. He likes to talk, talk with words, and seems to know everything about everything, but nothing about anything. Eventually, they start to wander, having a wonderful conversation about everything and nothing.
She pauses the walk to climb a strange looking tree while He happily looks on from below. “I think” He says “You are my favorite thing in the ever after.”
She grins back down at Him.
The feeling is mutual. “Where is it you belong?” He asks, pulling himself onto a branch next to her “In the Ever After, what section?”
I had been looking for it.
“Ah. Have you found it?”
Yes.
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hajihiko · 2 years
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Impostor apologising for introducing Junko into Mikan's life (in the anime at least)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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:-P
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yunmeng-jiang · 3 months
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that man does NOT think of wei wuxian as his gege
#jiang cheng#wwx#twin prides#i have a whole post about how they both think of themselves as having an older-sibling role#but even if that wasn't true jc still always calls him by his full name and the one time wwx tried to call him shidi jc yelled at him#their relationship is not that simple! it's a huge thing that wwx occupies a weird in-between role in their family!#he's definitely not a servant but also definitely not a full member of their family and that's super important to the story!#even if jc WANTED to think of him as his older brother he would need to get past seven layers of trauma to even realize he wanted that#and then he would have to admit it to himself and then work up the courage to admit it to someone else#and even then he probably still wouldn't say it to wwx's face#sure yanli calls wwx her didi but things are much simpler from her point of view#plus she's one of those people - like lxc - that can hold an opinion deep inside herself and be at peace with it even if it conflicts +#+ with what the world says and what she's been brought up to believe#jc is not like that. he internalizes way more from the outside world and if he feels conflicted he just kind of implodes#he's spent his whole life being told that wwx is not his equal and is someone to compete against#and also secretly believing that wwx is eventually going to abandon him because he doesn't think anyone truly cares for him#plus wwx treats him like a bff who is also a liege lord rather than a beloved younger brother#he would Not form a secure attachment to wwx lmao#it also really annoys me that when people write/conceptualize him as someone who thinks of wwx as his real gege +#+ they tend to completely erase jyl and minimize her importance to jc. he HAS an older sibling who he trusts unconditionally and confides +#+ in and takes comfort from! that person already exists! and they ignore her in favor of the protagonist#it also really bugs me when they have him mourning wwx those whole 13-16 years but don't put in a single word about yanli#this kind of turned into a rant about jyl... i have a lot of feelings about her especially since i'm the oldest sibling in my family#anyway. that man does not think of wwx as his gege#haterade#(kind of)
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demadogs · 6 months
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ALL THE LIGHT WE CANNOT SEE
(2023) Dir. Shawn Levy
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moeblob · 2 months
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So it occurs to me that I posted most of their lore on my OC blog (though a few posts on here have the story info) and honestly I think it's very important to note that the entire reason a guy from Florida is recruited to help defeat the demon lord isn't him as the hero. His younger brother (by about ten years younger) is the Chosen Hero and... not very good at it. So the goddess (Solei) who had selected the hero has to begrudgingly go back to earth and convince his older brother to help save her world.
(Also Reynold admits to Solei that "Sascha could never be a bad influence. He's the best impulse control I've ever had" and she really doesn't like to hear it. That's terrifying.)
#my characters#sascha is The demon lord and there is truly only one at a time#solei however is simply a goddess - not the only one of divinity#i dont actually know if thats been mentioned on either art blog lmao#also its not pictured here but reynold is recruited and only asks for one favor when in the other world (from solei)#he wants to be a woman while he helps his brother#she thinks its a weird flex but ok whatever buddy you can be a woman#and the logic is not him actually wanting to be one its just you see his younger brother finds it weird#to have a guy cling to him and dote on him like reynold does and said One Time WHY COULDNT YOU BE A SISTER THIS IS WEIRD#and so reynold is briefly rey for about a month before being held hostage by sascha and hes like... super polite#and asks her if she was cursed and so shes like uhhh what and he mentions looking at her gives him a headache#because the core and the outer appearance arent the same and he can revert her back to her original form if she wants#and she does so rey goes back to reynold which is very nice and reynold appreciates it#because honestly looking at rey in a mirror gives HIM a headache cause solei designed his appearance#and it was so bright thank you demon lord for giving the florida man his natural boring look back#also reynold will always carry sunglasses because solei can just appear and she is way too bright to deal with without eye protection#solei is not amused and thinks its basically slander against her godly appearance and reynold just smiles at her and tells her tough luck#he wants his vision for his new hot husband she can deal with a little insubordination#florida man begs for torture bc he can handle that and he knows it#is instead handed courtesy and manners and doesnt know what to do with it - quickly developing what he claims is NOT stockholm syndrome#solei and sascha quietly muttering about what that could possibly mean cause they dont know what this guy is talking about
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feroluce · 16 days
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Lucid Dreamer (2/2)
part 1
Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.
It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.
But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.
There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.
Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.
Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.
Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.
Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.
Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.
He doesn't dream.
One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.
And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.
And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.
He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.
But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.
The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.
Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.
The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.
"I'll be home in one week."
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#hsr natasha#pelageya sergeyevna#serval landau#bronya rand#hsr seele#hsr hook#honkai star rail#my fics#lucid dreamer#I was initially just going to let Sampo stay dead because I love that kind of thing#but I ended up liking this ending so I guess I'll let it stay haha#I love thinking about Sampo's relationships with the rest of the cast and their reactions to all this#he was a founding member of Mechanical Fever. he still plays shows with Pela and Serval.#Pela is constantly giving him second chances like in the museum event and letting him volunteer with the Silvermanes.#And Serval could say SO much about him but all she says is 'hah that guy' and mentions Gepard is going to catch him someday.#I need the three of them to be a weird trio of buddies fdksaljfdkl#Sampo is seen with Seele plenty and he's with Natasha so much that Hook literally thought he was horribly ill for a long time.#I love them having some kind of odd comraderie#and oh my god I am the biggest Hook & Sampo stan ever they're so so cute and sweet and precious and WAH#so I think Sampo would want to be prepared for just in case he didn't make it back. that he would have a contingency plan for everything.#and he would miss these people and this city enough to show up in their dreams one last time.#but I'd like to think he saved Gepard for last#and it is not just because he has a crush or any kind of romantic feelings for him. There's more to it than that.#(If I'm being super honest I don't even really ship them with romance involved. I have a hard time picturing them like that.)
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spicyicymeloncat · 1 year
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Idk if this is a hot take but why is it always “Kai slaved away and worked his ass off to raise his sister” and never the other way round or them working hard together?
Like, I know he’s older but in the show, does he really… act older? Like if you think about Kai and Nya’s dynamic yknow? Because from my understanding:
When Kai and Nya are introduced we see Kai fail at making a sword and Nya being the one to chide him for it. Kai makes an overconfident statement about wanting to be a better blacksmith than his father. This suggests that one, Kai is rather rash as well as inexperienced (something that lines up with the rest of his character arc in the pots and also generally), with Nya being the more mature figure in contrast
Also just a note but in the shorts: “I can handle it!” “No you can’t, stupid”
Kai frequently being very good at neglecting people or things: leaving Lloyd at an arcade whilst being focused on finding samurai x, not even knowing samurai x was Nya or that she only did it because she felt left out by him, completely abandoning both Nya and Lloyd in s3 (and Ik he was going through it at the time, but in line with the fandom’s characterisation of him)
Kai in season 5: “After I lost my dad, I lost my way. But I was lucky to have my sister watch over me”
Generally, their dynamic isn’t one where Kai really provides for Nya at all. In fact, judging by the fact that Nya can make entire mechs and Kai struggled to make a sword, Nya was probably busting her ass to provide for Kai. And judging by the s5 quote, that’s probably true. I’m not saying Nya raised Kai, it just rubs me the wrong way when she’s treated like a decorative flourish to a narrative that paints Kai as a burnt out child who was forced to grow up too soon especially since that is such a mischaracterisation of him in the first place.
#all I’m saying is that it’s weird we undersell all of the sister’s capabilities just so we can present the brother as tormented and burdened#ignoring the fact that he spent all his days in the gap between the pilots and s1 playing video games#like I’m sorry kai is a pathetic baby girl in the show and I LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS#okay yeah I snapped a little#I’m just tired of everyone mischaracterising him yknow#like I’m sorry bestie he’s not that capable he’s a loser man and I am ready to love loser men#i just think that it’s an incredibly stereotypical dynamic to have one male character who everyone completely#over exaggerates their struggles to the point of making it seem that everyone else in the story either doesn’t suffer or is an asshole for#not noticing the suffering of this one hot guy#this happens in many fandoms and I think this is what’s happening here#hhhhh#I’m sorry if Kai is ur favourite and this opinion upsets you I don’t mean to be bitch#I’m just really not into this interpretation of him#again this isn’t a dog at his character I just thing people don’t get him a lot of the time#and you know what Nya is also super undersold as a character#like where’s the fucking Nya Lloyd sibling content?#she mentored Lloyd too? she taught him how to ride dragons she stayed with him on the bounty she and Lloyd only had eachother in s9#what about them??#Kai gets too woobified and Nya doesn’t get woobified enough that’s my opinion#alright I’m done sorry#Ninjago#rant#ig this is a#ninjago analysis#i won’t tag characters cuz I don’t want to make anyone upset#and again I’m sorry if I do
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable
But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!
And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him
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evilkitten3 · 2 months
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i don't remember when he first saw it in canon, but it would be really funny if sasuke didn't have any clue whatsoever about sakura's super strength until like the very end of the series. like every time he sees her he's been thinking "oh it's sakura probably still as annoying and useless as ever" and then it turns out that now she can punch a mountain in half
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battle against the snow queen
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swordbards · 6 months
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did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point
#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious#flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun#and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like#oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter!#i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :)#this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :)#this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him#he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time#only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team#ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible#bg3#playing bg3#astarion#act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked#sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days#really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe#but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences#so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship#so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others#she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other#but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying#sorry. i will be normal again eventually
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kiwibongos · 29 days
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i dont really infodump in general at all but im doing it cus i need some ideas off my chest. do you freak with angst? perhaps an unhappy ending?
// sdr2 chapter 5+ending spoilers ig. kuzuhina au baybee
ok im, pretty positive that if there's two people left then neither of them can get out together and just split the prize bc that'd be pretty bullshit (idek if they ever cleared it up, imo tho one man standing would be the most logical)
so what if nagito DID bomb the island, taking everyone out?
fyi ive written this nearly entirely so im sparing u with a little summary(this is not a summary)
so bombs are spread all around the islands forreal this time. after nagito's video, a chain of them went off right as they were running out of the plushie factory, barely on time. everything started crumbling around them, and all the others were downed one by one, either caught in the explosions or crushed underneath falling structures
but somehow haj and fuyu survived, the others killed right in front of their own eyes. but they ran away, retreating to the warehouse, to which they find nagitos body. and the realization hits– it’s just them now, they’re the only ones left, and neither of them know what to do
im sure u can imagine hajime was fucking RAGING at that point just breaking down and stressing out
they didnt know what to do, they couldnt do anything, but fuyuhiko was here, so the first thing they did was to get off the island since the fire was spreading. from there, they wander around, hoping maybe then something would happen, but there wasn't any sight of monokuma or monomi. all they could do was look onto the destroyed islands, before they inevitably wait in a safe spot at the military base, officially at a dead end
they just kinda sit there for a while, not knowing what to do. but they cant wait here forever, and fuyuhiko knows what he has to do
eventually, he hands hajime a pistol(acquired from the truck of firearms outside), and asks him to kill him so it could finally be over
obviously hajime refuses at first, but fuyuhiko begs him, because he isn’t a good person and he doesn’t have much else to live for, while hajime has singlehandedly saved everyones asses, he deserved to escape more than anyone else here. by now, hajime was crying, but they’ve been at this dead end for so long, he knew he had to do it or else they’d never be getting off this island. so hajime just holds em close and says his final goodbyes (maybe a kiss teehee) before making it quick for him
pulling that trigger hurts him more than anything, ANYWAY BOOM hajime is the winner, simulation ends
also postgame babey; when things end here, hajime would wake up from the simulation, and since he never got to choose his own future alongside everyone else, he wakes up as izuru kamukura (he's also unable to open the pods since he won as the last survivor standing on top, and they didn't cheat the game to make it possible, now that it had officially ended.) also he's not entirely empty i think, izuru and hajime still would have "merged" afterwards, so it'd moreso just be hajime somewhere in there half of the time just mourning but its deeply suppressed, whatever way izurus dumb fucky brain works, he chills in the streets fr
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hum--hallelujah · 8 months
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don't want to kill time like it doesn't matter - 3.5k words, (platonic) funkobra hurt/comfort
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Ghoul is actually younger than Kobra. They always forget it though.
At least, they usually do.
Kobra's stopped shooting upright and reaching for his blaster whenever someone wakes him up at night. Stopped two years ago, honestly, when him and Ghoul started sharing a room. That was a collective decision that is very much not discussed. It left the old office as a perfect room for the Girl, in the end. Between Ghoulie and Girlie, the former of whom has wild, sleepless tendencies and the latter liking to scramble her way into bed with somebody else every other night of the week, Kobra's knee-jerk reaction has become more of a lack of reaction.
"Yo," hisses a pitchy voice. It's dead daylight, the heat of the day. This is the time of the year when you sleep while the sun's up, wait until the darkness falls to do anything or else it's too miserable or too dangerous. "Kobes."
Kobra utters a verbose "Hrrmngg?" and rolls over. He cracks an eye open to see Ghoul standing at the end of his bed. If it hadn't been light out, he'd be doing a good job of living up to his name. His hands are shaking, but when aren't they?
"You good, man?" Kobra asks groggily. He's half awake, half asleep, drifting in between the two states of being. Ghoul is shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. It makes the floor creak. It makes him look even smaller than he is. "Ghoulie?" He mumbles again when he gets no reply.
Ghoul makes a noncommittal half-whispered sound. "Wanna go for a joyride?" He asks instead of an answer.
Kobra blinks himself more fully awake and pushes up on one elbow. "Mirage or the 'Am?"
Ghoulie shrugs. Won't meet his eyes. Oh shit, that's not good. Something's got him worked up. It's too late for this. This is why they share a room now. They didn't used to, but Kobra refuses to let him sleep alone anymore. Kobra knows how he got that wicked scar that runs from the corner of his mouth nearly to his eye.
"Either," Ghoul says. "Doesn't matter much to me."
"Mirage," Kobra decides. He'll never say no to a late-night joyride. Not this kind. Party'll have his neck for sneaking out on the bike without letting anyone know, but the 'Am is too conspicuous when strange crews are out and from the look of him, riding double on the motorcycle will be good for Ghoul.
It's still too hot to be out. But going for a spin won't take too much exertion, getting to someplace with shade, so long as it's away from here, won't take too long. Ghoul's gonna get sunscorched. Maybe that's the point. While Kobra covers up with his jacket, Ghoul is still in the loose, half-covering clothes he sleeps in.
The sun glints painfully off the sand when they climb quietly out the window. No reason trying to get past Party when they've got an exit right here. Ghoul clambers out first with a probably accidental but surprisingly graceful roll and then flinches, violently, when Kobra jacket catches on what's left of the glass in the window and he tumbles haphazardly to the ground. They both hold still for a long dozen seconds, Kobra staring at the diner wall and straining to tell if anyone heard them, and Ghoul staring at Kobra and shaking.
When Party doesn't come along, eyes glinting with annoyed amusement, and yell at them for sneaking out, Kobra sits up and checks the hem of his jacket where it caught on the sharp edge. "Great," he mutters when he sees the tear in the lining. He'll have to sew that back together later. "Ghoul, you good?"
Ghoul shrugs and stands up. "Aren't I always?"
"No."
They stare at each other for a few seconds while Kobra rubs his palms together to clear the sand off them and reaches into his pocket for his gloves. "You're wearing a helmet," he says flatly.
Ghoul rolls his eyes and sneers. It crinkles the scar running up his face. "No way."
"Fine." Kobra doesn't push. Half the time he doesn't even wear his helmet. He's the driver. He'll keep them safe. It was worth a try, though. "Come on."
The heavy bay door of the garage makes too much noise to open without being caught. They slip in the side door and Kobra brings Mirage carefully back through it. He wears a helmet this time. Ghoul stands and waits, bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, while Kobra starts the bike and, out of habit, does a couple checks.
"You ready?" Kobra says, with the visor of his helmet flipped up.
Ghoul grins, but it's lacking in heart. So often, Kobra thinks he's not all there. So often, Kobra thinks this is his best friend. "Born that way," he replies.
"Come on then," Kobra says and nods for Ghoul to get on the bike with him. "Hey, hey. Hey, Ghoulie-" he says, when Ghoul is standing right at his shoulder, about to throw a leg over Mirage and climb on. "You okay?" He asks again, because he needs to know how safe any of this is.
Ghoul doesn't respond. Just settles himself behind Kobra and wraps his arms, tight, around Kobra's middle. Kobra stays there a second, until he's sure Ghoul's grip is solid, so that he can feel Ghoul breathing against his back, before he kicks off. He doesn't care if Party and Jet wake up now, they won't catch them. The bike's tires kick up a fountain of sand as he spins a loop, leaning into the turn until Mirage tilts close enough to the ground that Kobra could touch the sand if he reached out. Ghoul asked for a joyride. This is that.
"What the hell, man?!" Ghoul yells over Kobra's shoulder, muffled by the engine noise and his helmet. Kobra feels Ghoul's hands grab at the fabric of his shirt as he pulls around the first turn, bringing them around the back of a sand dune at full speed.
"Trust me?" Kobra shouts back. He's getting into it now, relaxing into each wide, showy swerve and fishtail. He slows down just a bit when he can feel Ghoul's fingernails start to bite into his skin. It makes him edgy when Ghoul is like this.
Ghoul sniffs sharply. "Well, yeah, but I've seen you crash out enough times at the track-"
"Aw, shut up," Kobra snaps back, without venom. Ghoul's his mechanic. He's seen his best wins and worst losses. "Where you wanna go?" He asks, after a few random turns, just drifting around in the sand. Ghoul is quiet. Kobra reaches back with one hand and smacks him on the leg after awhile. "Ghoulie, where we goin'?"
"I'm thinki-" Ghoul cuts himself off and when he speaks again his voice is flat and so quiet Kobra has to strain to hear him. "Turn right up here."
There's the remains of a road cutting across their path and Kobra hops Mirage up onto it, swings right and follows the pavement. Ghoul's grip around his chest has loosened, but Kobra can feel the fast, shallow rhythm of his breathing and the shaking of his hands even still. The road goes on for ages, long enough that it starts to feel infinite. This must have been a highway, back before the wars and BL/ind. At some point, Ghoul leans forward and puts his forehead against the back of Kobra's neck. Kobra can feel him pressed just below where his helmet sits.
"Get off at this turn," Ghoul mumbles suddenly, but not soon enough because Kobra completely overshoots the exit. He flips around the empty lanes of the highway, admittedly showing off mostly just to make himself feel better.
The group of buildings along the former highway off-ramp isn't really a ghost town. It's a cluster of old stores and restaurants, like the diner but mass produced, and down at the end is an ancient truck stop and gas station. Kobra slows the bike to a crawl as they drive down the street, struck with an eerie sense of deja vu. He's been here before. They both have.
He pulls over and stops in the middle of the road, beside what used to be a coffee store. Coffee is usually made in the form of compressed, dried out shots now, called Motor Juice in the Zones when rehydrated. They don't have coffeeshops in the City. They have prescriptions.
Ghoul is off the bike and Kobra's back suddenly cold even under the heat of the sun before Mirage even comes to a full stop. "Ghoul-" Kobra snaps, angry for reasons he can't even say and unsettled in ways he doesn't want to. This is a ghost town. Just not in the normal way. "Ghoul. What are you-"
But Ghoul is walking away, his back to Kobra and the bike as he moves toward the gas station as if it's a magnet and he's the blade of a knife, trembling so hard with the pull that it might break. Kobra hesitates, then swings his leg over Mirage and bumps out the kickstand. Ghoul is standing stock still, or as still as he can, on the faded pavement of the gas station parking lot. Kobra's glad it's faded. He doesn't want to see the bloodstains.
Ghoul looks small as he approaches, absolutely miniscule. He's got his arms wrapped tight around himself and Kobra can hear the harshness of his breathing even from several strides away. He doesn't want to get too close too fast. Ghoul's enough like a wild animal that it could turn out badly, and Kobra for once really doesn't want to fight him today. Not out here, at least.
They're within two years of each other, Kobra and Ghoul. They usually forget they're not the same age. But right now Ghoul looks so small and so, so young and Kobra doesn't know what to do.
"Gh- Ghoul. Ghoulie." Kobra calls carefully, stumbling over his tongue. He clamps his teeth together, takes a deep breath. "Ghoul."
Ghoul doesn't turn, doesn't look away from the door into the gas station he'd been found in, back when Kobra and Poison and Jet were a crew of three and Ghoul'd been even more feral than he is now. The gas station where Ghoul watched his entire family die and he was helpless to do anything about it. He still thinks he hadn't done enough. Kobra knows that. Ghoul always thinks he didn't do enough. That one kid with a blaster and wild eyes could take down a full squad of Dracs and two Crows.
Kobra doesn't know how to tell him that if he'd tried, he would be dead too. Kobra doesn't know how to tell him he's glad he didn't. When it comes down to it most, Kobra finds he can't speak.
"Ghoulie," he says again. "Hey. Hey." He moves closer, pulls off the helmet he'd almost forgotten he still has on. "Ghoul," he tries, one more time, as gently as he knows how even though it's not that gentle. He's never been good at this. Some of the scars scattered across Ghoul's body are from him. But Kobra had stitched up Ghoul's face and he's not going to give up now.
Ghoul finally turns and Kobra breathes a sigh of relief. Just a response. Proof of life even though he's still standing. And then Ghoul steps toward him and suddenly he's right there, shaking but otherwise just as eerily still as this entire place, like he's trapped in frozen time just like the rest of it, and he collides with Kobra's chest in a way that's both surprising and yet entirely expected.
"Oh." Kobra drops his helmet, dangling from one hand, and his arms hover uncertainly in the air for a moment before he carefully closes them around Ghoul. "Oh. Okay. Okay." He says quietly, startled, but not really. He'd felt the way Ghoul was holding onto him as they rode Mirage all the way out here.
Ghoul unfolds his arms from around himself and grabs onto the unzipped sides of Kobra's jacket. He doesn't cry, not out loud at least. He's just shaking, so much, and so, so small. Kobra's not good with words. He's even worse with them under pressure. Anything Jet or Party could say to make it better, that kind of stuff gets stuck on his tongue when Kobra tries to say it. So he doesn't. He just holds on.
"You plan on coming here?" Kobra asks eventually, even though he has a feeling the answer is no. Unless it's an engine or a bomb, Ghoul never really plans on much. Ghoul shakes his head, hair scrubbing against Kobra's shoulder and neck where his head's pressed. "You wanna... y'wanna go inside?" He asks then, against his better judgment. But then again, he's never been known for that, has he.
Ghoul tenses, but it momentarily stops the shaking. "Can we?"
Kobra huffs. "Nobody stoppin' us, and even if there were, we'd do it anyway, wouldn't we?"
Ghoul pries his fingers from their hold on Kobra's jacket and turns back toward the station. "Should we?"
"Dunno." Part of him thinks it might help. Part of him remembers exactly what happened the last time they were here. It's the Killjoy way to call death ghosting. It means some part of you lives on even when you're gone. There's a lot of ghosts in this pavement. "It's your-"
He can't think of what word goes there. Choice. Past. Grief. Place. So he stops talking. He shrugs, bends to pick up his helmet. "I can." He sucks a breath through his teeth. He's going to say it again. "I can... I can go with you. If you," he shrugs one shoulder again. "If you, uh, want to. I'm not- I'm not trying to force you," he adds, like it needs to be said. "It's your... yours."
Because that's all that really can be said. This place, the place that made Fun Ghoul what he is. The journey, however brief, that brought them here. Even, kinda, Kobra himself. It's all for Ghoul, here and now. Kobra drove, but he's just along for the ride. Weird how that happens.
Ghoul steps toward the station. Magnetism, again. And Kobra follows, because how could he not. He feels sick at the though of letting his friend go in that place alone.
The doors are gone. Shot out years ago. It looks to Kobra exactly as it did back then, but Ghoul probably remembers better. There are shelves toppled and glass and plastic broken all over the floor. Whatever hasn't been scavenged is broken and shattered. Ghoul walks toward the back of the store, the corner that's not so much a mess. Kobra stays back a bit, trying to give his friend space.
It's where they found Ghoul. Or, where Pois had found him. Ghoul was half in shock, terrified and scarred and fighting, and Party was the first one of their then three-strong group to notice the dark shape watching them hopelessly trawl the carnage for any survivors. It took Pois physically restraining the much smaller kid to keep Ghoul from going for all of their throats.
Kobra has a lot of bad memories of Ghoul. None are as bad as remembering the way he'd screamed when they first met.
"Y'okay?" Kobra asks after a while.
Ghoul has his moments. They all do. Sometimes, you wake up bad in the night and it's hard to pick yourself up. Sometimes you just gotta hit the bottom before you even can. But Ghoul's a fighter. "Yeah," he says, walking back and forth between fallen shelves once stocked with food and stupid trinkets. He crouches to pick up the shattered remnants of something once made of colorful glass and when he looks back over his shoulder at Kobra, he doesn't seem quite as small.
"'M sorry," Kobra mumbles, not knowing what to say now. Somehow, the shaking and the touch are so much easier than having to talk about it. He's never been the talker. That's Party. And he knows his brother regrets not getting there — here — sooner that day, but there's a sick, selfish part of Kobra that's too glad to have Ghoul to want anything different. But really, it's all he can say. If there's remnants of bones that haven't been carried away by carrion-eaters, he doesn't want to see it.
Ghoul slowly stands up from his spot on the floor, staring intently at the broken knick-knack in his palm. It might have been a glass teddy bear, once, something a parent might grab up for a child waiting at home. It's partially shattered, though. Half of its cartoonish smiling face is gone. The heart shape it once held in its paws is cracked down the middle. Kobra isn't great with metaphors, but this is pretty fucking obvious.
"I didn't save them," Ghoul says quietly, his voice grating through the charged, silent air. "I didn't save her."
Something clicks into place. They all know that the crew he lost was Ghoul's real actual biological family. He's a sandpup. He was born and raised in the Zones. He doesn't talk about it much. Kobra's shocked he even came back here, let alone with anyone else. Ghoul doesn't talk about his family, but they've all figured for a while that he had a sibling. You can see it in how he treats the Girl.
"Your sister," Kobra says. It doesn't sound like so much of a question when he says it out loud, but he knows Ghoul will understand it as one.
Ghoul nods. "Yeah." He steps over some toppled displays, sun-bleached ads that used to be bright colored, and slips the shiny piece of broken glass into one of Kobra's pockets since he doesn't have any of his own. Kobra can already see the sunburn forming on his friend's shoulders and the tops of his knees. "She was like, eight."
That's all the more he says about it, but Kobra slips his hand into the pocket and runs his fingers over the broken glass toy still warm from Ghoul's hands, and hears the years of grief and bitterness in the few words. Ghoul's more talky than he is, but he's cagey, too. Kobra can hear him, though. He gets it. Doesn't mean he knows what to say, though.
"Shit," he spits. He wants to say I'm sorry again, but that feels fuckin cheap. He wants to say stop beating yourself up about it, but that sounds even stupider. "Fuck." Sometimes that's all he can say.
"Yeah," Ghoul replies. "Fuckin shit."
"Exactly," Kobra agrees, fiercely relieved that Ghoul gets all the shit he's trying to say. "Hey, uh. Y'know I'm-" He stumbles over the words, cringes at himself for the inability to get past a stupid two-letter word. "I'm glad I know you." He manages, as selfish as it sounds standing here in the ghosted wreckage where Ghoul's family was killed. But if that hadn't happened, they wouldn't be here now. They wouldn't be friends. And Kobra needs Ghoul to know he's glad that any suicide run to save his family failed. The pain sucks, but he's grateful for the outcome. He hopes Ghoul can understand that.
Ghoul doesn't reply. His acid green eyes bore straight into Kobra's for a few seconds while Kobra's heart hammers in his chest. Then he kicks at some dust and looks at the floor and shrugs. "Let's go, man. I don't wanna stay here."
"M'kay."
Kobra's almost tempted to reach out as they walk back out into the glaring sun, grab onto Ghoul like he's a ghost, too, and the light might evaporate him. But he doesn't. He can't.
He thinks the feeling of Ghoul hanging onto him as he steers Mirage away, back up the ramp to the road they came down in the first place, will make him feel better. It doesn't. Ghoul holds on much looser than he had on the way here, and it makes Kobra nervous. He wonders if he should have made him wear a helmet, and steers more carefully around the turns.
And then Ghoul adjusts his seat and throws one arm up over Kobra's shoulder, loosely hooking around his neck. He leans up forward and shouts, "C'mon, Kobes, let's play with it!" Like he's itching for the risk that a couple hours ago had had him holding on for dear life. Kobra's used to thinking his best friend isn't all there. But he's also familiar with the times he is. Sometimes, he forgets they're not the same age because Ghoul is so larger than life.
He tips his head to the side in acknowledgement, and punches the throttle. He even pulls a couple of tight, quick loops. He can't slide on the pavement the way he would on sand, but he can catch a little air when there's a thermal bump in the highway. Ghoul clutches onto him, but it's not scared. Something's cleared up in the gas station. Maybe it was closure. Hell if Kobra knows.
When they pull Mirage off the highway and the diner finally comes back into view, just a small glint of signage, Kobra slows his pace and can feel Ghoul sigh more than he can hear it. His friend's arms stay firmly around him. "Hey, Kobes?" Ghoul says, just barely loud enough to be heard over the engine.
"Yeah?" Kobra says, a bit louder to be heard past his helmet.
Ghoul hesitates, then says in a rush, "I'm glad I know you too. Like, really glad." And then he squeezes Kobra a little tighter for just a second and Kobra can't even say anything in reply. It's been a long night at the wrong time of day. And they're almost home.
#yes I know kobra is doing that annoying ''r u ok'' thing very repetitively he's like me he repeats himself A LOT it's ok. we still love him#I cannot express this enough. kobra has a stutter. literally sometimes the only word that will come out is just. F bomb.#the others have gotten very good at translating him skskskddkfj#btw wrt kobra's speech patterns just know I'm cutting WAY back on the amount of repeating I do irl#like I'm giving him my (mild) stutter but cutting down the repetitions by a lot bc it looks weird on paper#so whenever he's repeating himself and stammering? yeah it's a lot more like a scratched CD than how I typed it out#in my head it's like SUPER noticeable. like everyone knows this happens and that sometimes he has to stop and be quiet#and take a minute before he can get on with what he's saying. it's just a thing#ok now that I'm done rambling about kobra kid having a stutter- :)#btw they're like 16 and 17 here. they are children trying to navigate these very big emotions and I love them so so dearly#next time I need to emotionally or physically hurt kobra skfjfnskdn I keep going after poor ghoul#ok I think that's all I have to say for now#she speaks!#she writes!#danger days#the true lives of the fabulous killjoys#danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys#ttlotfk#kobra kid#fun ghoul#this isn't really funkobra just bc I don't actually ship ANYONE here skskfjdghkdjgfkd#I'm much more compelled by platonic relationships that are kinda the Secret Third Thing than I am by romance. so. yeah
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good-beanswrites · 7 months
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Can I request "this didnt turn out like I intended" with shidou, es, and amane?
Aw yeah!! Thank you so much for the request -- I ended up giving the line to Es but honestly all three of them could have said it, it was perfect 👀 I pictured this before the T2 interrogations, with Es being fairly quiet about their guilt towards everything that happened. Though Shidou appears a bit less, I hope I could convey that he and Es share a lot of thoughts, interestingly.
Es would never get accustomed to the screaming. 
They’d heard a few anguished cries from the prisoner’s videos. They’d gotten a few agitated shouts when the first trial verdicts were announced. But nothing could have prepared them for the way the prison halls echoed now. Whether the prisoners poured out their sorrows, anguish, or agony at recent injuries, Es didn’t think they needed Milgram’s power to hear the true sounds of their heart. 
Es wished they’d just stop already. They knew it was selfish to hope for. They knew it stemmed from their own guilt. That didn’t make them wish for it any less.
The current bout of cries was coming from Shidou’s cell. Es had paused just before passing, trying to bury a wince as they listened to Fuuta struggle with treatment.
Amane approached from the other side. She glared at the cell, though Es knew it wasn’t the screaming that was bothering her.
She opened her mouth to speak, but they said in a hushed voice, “hey, I don’t need you giving Shidou any trouble. I know you disapprove, but I stand by this. I’m the one who told Shidou to check on Fuuta and Mahiru. I’m going to make sure they’re cared for.”
Amane studied them with her bright, unsettling gaze. “Why?” Her voice came out as strangely even as always. She was one of the few Es hadn’t heard any kind of shout from. “If something is destined to happen, who are you to change its course? Do you really believe you are the same as God, having that much control over the lives of others?”
“Not at all.” Es didn’t fight her. They weren’t here to change her heart, only read it. Still, they wondered if they could convince her to soften a bit without denouncing her beliefs. “The thing is, I’m not affecting their fate.”
“Then what do you call this?”
“Putting things back the way they should be.”
Es had tried to stand by their actions. They’d put on a tough face in front of the injured prisoners. They could not show weakness. As their warden, they couldn’t show any uncertainty, whatsoever. After all, the only thing worse than nearly getting killed was finding out you nearly got killed because of a child’s mistake. So they would keep this act up. They would assure everyone that this was still going according to plan. 
The way Amane looked at them, she already knew it wasn’t.
So, they figured it wouldn’t hurt to speak a little more openly now. Maybe it would even help explain Amane’s verdict. That certainly hadn’t gone as planned, either. “I wrongfully changed their lives when I let them get hurt. I saw that Kotoko had the capability for something like this, and I ignored it in the name of forgiveness. Now I need to fix the harm I’ve caused.”
“You haven’t caused any harm.”
Fuuta howled from inside.
Amane turned her gaze away. “That was still an outside force. You had no control over Kotoko’s actions. You and Shidou have control now.”
“I did have control over Kotoko, though. I knew my choices would have consequences. This is my fault.”
It felt good to say it out loud. Maybe not 'good.' It was a relief.
“And if I may venture to speak for Shidou…” That man was a mystery, but Es had put a few pieces together, at least. “It seems… he also took some lives off of their intended course. This is his way of fixing that. Right now, this is all we can do to make up for our decisions of the past. Isn’t that acceptable?”
She went to answer, but some shuffling from the cell cut her off. Shidou emerged, his expression changing ever so slightly upon finding the two just outside. Fuuta scowled on his way out, but said nothing. 
As the pair stood face to face, Amane’s eyes lit with fiery fury. Shidou met her with a harsh coldness.
“I wasn’t expecting you two,” he said simply. He was one of the others Es had yet to hear with a raised voice. Their two quietest prisoners, locked in such an intense struggle. That had certainly been an unexpected turn. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes,” Es lied. “We just stopped to talk for a moment.”
“Oh? What about?” Shidou folded his hands together. His gloves were covered in blood, they noticed. 
“Just that… this…” they waved a gloved hand in a general gesture, “didn’t work out as I intended.”
Shidou offered them a smile. It was one without any warmth, but that didn’t make it any less genuine.
“Mmm. It never does.”
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catastrxblues · 4 months
Text
#okay i actually want to rant a bit 😭 - not advised to read this because then you might get brain damage#because oh my god??????? weird#(was going to write an entire diary but nvm here’s the gist of it)#basically i was coming home from this chem thing right#i used the train as i always do when it comes to this. and because the new station just got a shiny renovation it is now connected to the#new mall in front of it (we have two now it’s an addition to the first one). and guess what 😭#i had to go in and get to the first mall because my dad said he’d just pick me up at the lobby instead of the bus stop in front of#the station entrance right.#and when i was on the elevator going up on a call with my mom about food orders 😭#the guy i used to have a very very VERY heavy crush on in middle grade got to the elevator leading down just as i was on the landing 😭😭#and i had to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating so as he was descending and his back turned to me i examined the back of his head and i’m#pretty sure it was him. curiosity killed the cat i should’ve remembered that shit because you know what my stupid ass did??#i was already walking away on my way to cross to the first mall but then that curiosity got the better off me and i steppedonto the elevato#leading down 😭 and followed him out into (apparently) the fucking bus stop#oh my goddd I JUST REALIZED this is my the one moment help#except i don’t think he recognized me because i was never even friends with him lmao. wrote tons of poetry about him ✅#actually had one proper conversation with him ❌#i was delusional and kept alone with my thoughts living in my head do not judge me#but seriously even though i don’t really care about him anymore this would’ve been (unfortunately) SUPER important to middle grade me#she would’ve taken it as a sign or something and write like five pages about it#and i just keep thinking about that#funny how things change because IF YOU KNEW how many credits and exaggerated compliments i gave him in my old journal#oh you would’ve laugheddd#like i used to SPEND SO MUCH TIME pondering over him it’s so 😭#i used to have an oc and i think i based it on my idea of him and then i think that idea of him was even the reason i started to TRY to#write poetically. and i used to relate every taylor swift love songs to him (esp the ones in debut lover and rep and fearless) IT WAS SO#FUNNY LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW#i think he did see me though. i put on this act as if i was searching for someone confused and then (my go to) pretended someone called me#and then i whisked off as if to find that someone#i’d like to think i look pretty cool though. not because of anything (def not my looks because i was SO TIRED from that extra chem lessons
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