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faejilly · 4 years

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ashes of roses 1/3

a direct sequel to yesterdays’ ashes of angels, because I needed some consequences and recovery. (And some h/c, let’s be honest here, I always want some comfort in my fic.)

My @shadowhunterbingo Square: Magic (Because I made up a bunch of lore in the background while writing the prequel, and I needed to do something with it!)

It hit Alec a few days later.

He had work to do first, before he could let it. He talked to Consul Jia Penhallow, situated the prisoners, arranged for extra guards, adjusted the patrol schedules, collated and forwarded all the evidence they'd gathered to Acting-Inquisitor Patrick Penhallow and the City of Bones. He informed the LA Institute of all the addresses Freeman and her people had admitted to using so they could do a sweep for any additional evidence. Consul Penhallow assured him they were going through all known Freeman properties in Idris, as well, and he made himself believe her.

There wasn't anything he could do about it if she wasn't.

After all that, he was done, and he went home.

He went to Magnus, and he hadn't meant to interrupt his work, he hadn't, but he saw him and he couldn't... he couldn't do it anymore.

He didn't even remember walking through the apothecary, but finally he was there where he needed to be. Magnus turned to greet him, and that was more than Alec could take.

Magnus made a soft grunt of surprise as Alec made impact, literally flinging himself into Magnus and wrapping his arms around him.

"Alexander," his voice was soft, and the touch of his fingers was too light, as if his hands were hovering, uncertain when Alec desperately needed him to be sure.

Alec whined, and tucked his face into Magnus' neck, and clung tighter.

"Oh." Magnus' arms finally settled, finally embraced him back, and Alec let go, felt himself shaking, his eyes dry and his lungs burning.

"Oh, darling," Magnus' voice was lower this time, and his arms tightened.

Alec had no idea how long he stood like that, falling apart in the one place he knew it was safe to do so.

Eventually he stopped shaking, and he could breathe again.

But he didn't want to let go.

Magnus didn't make him, just adjusted them enough that they were side-by-side instead of tangled together, enough that he could walk Alec to the couch and pull them both down onto it.

Alec knew he needed to say something, needed to let some of this out, but he didn't have any words, nothing beyond a wordless howl in the back of his head, some desperate, terrified sense of what could have happened.

"Do you know why they call it pixie dust?" Magnus asked, his fingers stroking through Alec's hair, his voice low and soothing.

Alec almost sobbed in relief, that somehow Magnus knew, knew he couldn't talk yet, knew that more information always helped. He cleared his throat. He could say this, he thought. This was just data. "It's because it's not poisonous to the fae, right?"

"Mm-hmm." Magnus nodded, still gentle and slow. "For them it's just an aphrodisiac. Increased physical sensitivity, a warm flush of attraction, that sort of thing."

Alec shuddered. He supposed that he'd felt warm, but that certainly wasn't where it stopped.

"Do you know how they make it?"

Alec shook his head.

"It's not made of pixies or something terrible like that, you know."

Alec rolled his eyes and managed to scoff.

Magnus huffed out a soft breath. "I'm not sure if that meant I'm stating the obvious or not, but I'm going to keep going. Good?"

Alec tilted his head in half a nod, and let his weight settle a little more against Magnus' body.

"It's made of ground up siren's scales, burned rose petals, and passionflower pollen, though the flowers have to have been grown by a warlock or a fae, or in a magical realm." Magnus' voice settled into an almost sing-song rhythm, like he was lecturing a class, and Alec felt the first faint stirrings of a smile. "Most people use honey to bind the ingredients together, and there are various arguments about which sort of honey works best, but I've never seen any convincing evidence that that matters. You cannot use maple syrup though." Magnus shuddered, as if horrified that someone had even tried.

Alec wondered why someone had, because clearly there was a story behind that, but he supposed he could ask about that some other day.

"The part that makes it strong enough to work so effectively on the fae, however, is the Eidolon pheromones infused into the ingredients while they're dried into a powder."

Oh.

That. That did explain a lot.

"Eidolon pheromones are part of what make them so successful at seducing their victims of course; the body is comfortable with them even when the mind might notice that something's wrong with their impersonation of a loved one." Magnus' voice had less of a lilt now, his pronunciation very controlled and precise.

That was why Alec would have reacted to anyone he touched, why he wouldn't have had any choice...

He felt the tremble starting in his hands again, and pushed them hard against the couch arm behind Magnus to hold them still.

Magnus leaned back to help pin them, and squeezed his arms around Alec's shoulders. "It is the part that also makes it dangerous to everyone else, to various degrees."

Alec grunted at that, a lift to his voice trying to ask his question for him.

"What does it do to other people?" Magnus asked.

Alec nodded.

"Well, for werewolves it reacts to their shapeshifting; it forces a change. Werewolf hunters use it when hunting so the body will be in werewolf form when it dies."

So they could harvest the skin and teeth, Alec knew. He gagged a little at the thought.

"Yes, exactly," Magnus agreed, fingers squeezing once more around Alec's shoulder before giving a very soft tug to the end of Alec's hair. "For vampires it has no aphrodisiac properties at all, it just makes them viciously ill for two days, and there's absolutely nothing anyone can do to mitigate the symptoms."

He seemed too still, and Alec gathered there was something he wasn't saying. He managed to lift his head, to look at Magnus directly, to raise one hand and offer a touch to Magnus' cheek.

Magnus smiled at him, and his eyes were sad. "If they're not restrained, they frequently try and kill themselves somewhere around the 36 hour mark."

Alec lowered himself back down to wrap his arms around Magnus, squeezing as tightly as he could. He wasn't sure if someone Magnus had known had succeeded, or if he'd had to watch them try, had to watch them in that sort of pain without being able to do anything about it. He nuzzled his nose against Magnus' collarbone, trying to offer comfort for something he could barely imagine.

Magnus hugged him back, and kissed the top of his head. "Thank you, darling."

Alec hummed.

"Warlocks react similarly to the fae if they're dosed directly. A mostly harmless aphrodisiac, though it is very like being drunk, a little mentally compromised." Magnus paused, and Alec had a feeling he wouldn't like the next thing he said. "However, they're susceptible to secondary transmission in exactly the same way Nephilim are."

Alec gagged again, and curled in to protect the sudden sharp ache in his gut.

"Shhh," Magnus sat up to curl over him, breath warm against the back of Alec's neck. "It's fine, we're both fine."

"I can't, stop thinking, I can't," Alec was shaking again, and this time he was crying, tears too hot and burning as they dripped down his cheeks. "What if I hadn't recognized it?"

"I know." Magnus swallowed so hard that Alec could hear it, could feel it as an echo of his own bone deep horror. He felt the drop of water on the back of his neck, Magnus' tears spilling over too. "I know."

Alec's fingers dug into Magnus' arm, and he knew he was gripping too tight, knew it had to hurt, but he couldn't, he couldn't, he practically clawed his way into Magnus' lap, pushing his head into Magnus' shoulder. "I would have hurt you."

"It wouldn't have been you," Magnus clung back, and it was only the sharp points of his fingernails digging into Alec's shoulders that seemed to be keeping him in one piece. "It would never be you."

"It would have felt like me," Alec whispered, and Magnus reached up to cradle his face between his palms, to draw him up until Magnus could kiss him, the taste of salt scalding between their lips.

"It would never," Magnus repeated, and kissed him again. "Never."

Alec shuddered, and cried, and tried to believe him.

He didn't manage it, but by the time he'd cried himself out he felt a little better, a little lighter.

It hadn't happened. He held on to that. It had to be enough.

Magnus kissed the top of his head, and shifted his shoulders, and Alec sighed. They ought to move to bed, but he was too tired. He closed his eyes, and felt Magnus tug the blanket off the back of the couch so it would fall on top of them.

They'd get up later.

For now they'd rest, just like this.

Together.

#hmdiscord #shadowhunters #malec #alec lightwood #magnus bane #my sh fic #jilly writes #ashes of roses

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bluejay-boy · 4 years

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lgbtqia+ representation: books + authors edition

books by lgbtqia+ authors with lgbtqia+ themes and/or characters

You Could Be Mine, Sara Farizan (she/her)

About a Girl, Sarah McCarry (she/her)

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Storied of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages, Saundra Mitchell (she/they)

Amateur, Thomas Page McBee (he/him)

Anger is a Gift, Mark Oshiro (they/them)

Annie on My Mind, Nancy Garden (she/her)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz (he/him)

Ash, Malinda Lo (she/her)

At Swim, Two Boys, Jamie O’Neill (he/him)

At the Edge of the Universe, Shaun David Hutchinson (he/him)

Blue is the Warmest Color, Julie Maroh (she/her)

The Brightsiders, Jen Wilde (she/her)

Caroline’s Heart, Austin Chant (he/him)

Changers, T Cooper (he/him) + Allison Glock-Cooper (she/her)

Chelsea Girls, Eileen Myles (they/them)

The Color Purple, Alice Walker (she/her)

Confessions of a Mask, Yukio Mishima (he/him)

Confessions of the Fox, Jordy Rosenberg (he/him)

The Danielle Cain Series, Margaret Killjoy (she/her)

Darius the Great Is Not Okay, Adib Khorram (he/him)

Dear Rachel Maddow, Adrienne Kisner (she/her)

The Difference Between You and Me, Madeleine George (she/her)

Drag Teen, Jeffery Self (he/him)

Eminent Outlaws, Christopher Bram (he/him)

Everything Leads to You, Nina LaCour (she/her)

Fat Angie, E.E. Charlton-Trujillo (she/her)

Fingersmith, Sarah Waters (she/her)

For Today I Am a Boy, Kim Fu (she/her)

Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (she/her)

Funeral Rites, Jean Genet (he/him)

Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit, Jaye Robin Brown (she/her)

Get it Together, Delilah, Erin Gough (she/her)

Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson (she/her)

Girl Made of Stars, Ashley Herring Blake (she/her)

Girl Mans Up, M.E. Girard (she/her)

Gracefully Grayson, Ami Polonsky (she/her)

The Gravity Between Us, Kristen Zimmer (she/her)

The Great American Whatever, Tim Federle (he/him)

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers (she/her)

Her Name in the Sky, Kelly Quindlen (she/her)

History is All You Left Me, Adam Silvera (he/him)

Hunter’s Way, Gerri Hill (she/her)

I Wish You All the Best, Mason Deaver (they/them)

If I Was Your Girl, Meredith Russo (she/her)

If You Could Be Mine, Sara Farizan (she/her)

Juliet Takes a Breath, Gabby Rivera (she/her)

Keeping You a Secret, Julie Anne Peters (she/her)

Leaving L.A., Kate Christie (she/her)

Let’s Talk About Love, Claire Kann (she/her)

Little Fish, Casey Plett (she/her)

Love Beyond Body, Space and Time (anthology)

Magic for Liars, Sarah Gailey (they/them)

Maiden, Mother, Crone: Fantastical Trans Femmes (anthology)

Me and You and Daisies, Lily R. Mason (she/her)

Meanwhile, Elsewhere: Science and Fiction from Transgender Writers (anthology)

The Mechanical Universe, E.E. Ottoman (they/he)

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror, Daniel M. Lavery (he/him)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Emily M. Danforth (she/her)

Money Boy, Paul Yee (he/him)

Moon at Nine, Deborah Ellis (she/her)

Nameless Woman (anthology)

Nimona, Noelle Stevenson (she/her)

Not Otherwise Specified, Hannah Moskowitz (she/her)

Of Fire and Stars, Audrey Coulthurst (she/they)

Once and Future, Cory McCarthy (they/them)

One Man Guy, Michael Barakiva (he/him)

Openly Straight, Bill Konigsberg (he/him)

Patience and Sarah, Isabel Miller (she/her)

People in Trouble, Sarah Schulman (she/her)

Pet, Akwaeke Emezi (they/them)

Peter Darling, Austin Chant (he/him)

The Porcupine of Truth, Bill Konigsberg (he/him)

The Price of Salt, Patricia Highsmith (she/her)

Puddin’, Julie Murphy (she/they)

The Queen of Cups, Ren Basel (they/them)

Ramona Blue, Julie Murphy (she/they)

Resilience (anthology)

The Rest of Us Just Live Here, Patrick Ness (he/him)

Ruby-Fruit Jungle, Rita Mae Brown (she/her)

The Shape of My Name, Nino Cipri (they/them)

She’s My Ride Home, Jackie Bushore (she/her)

Small Beauty, Jia Qing Wilson-Yang (she/her)

So Many Ways To Sleep Badly, Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore (she/her)

The Summer of Jordi Perez, Amy Spalding (she/her)

The Summer Prince, Alaya Dawn Johnson (she/her)

The Swimming Pool Library, Alan Hollinghurst (he/him)

Taking the Long Way, Lily R. Mason (she/her)

Tash Hearts Tolstoy, K. E. Ormsbee (she/her)

Tell Me How a Crush Should Feel, Sara Farizan (she/her)

The Tensorate Series, JY Yang (they/them)

They Both Die at the End, Adam Silvera (he/him)

This Book is Gay, Juno Dawson (she/her)

Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters (she/her)

Trans Power, Juno Roche (she/they)

True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Gerard Way (he/him)

Two Boys Kissing, David Levithan (he/him)

Two Serious Ladies, Jane Bowles (she/her)

Unburied Fables, several authors

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon (they/them)

Valencia, Michelle Tea (she/her)

We the Animals, Justin Torres (he/him)

What If It’s Us, Becky Albertalli (she/her, cis straight) + Adam Silvera (he/him, gay)

Wildthorn, Jane Eagland (she/her)

Will Grayson Will Grayson, John Green (he/him, cis straight) + David Levithan (he/him, gay)

The World Unseen, Shamim Sarif (she/her)

The Year of Ice, Brian Malloy (he/him)

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cristinablackthornkingson · 5 years

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Shadowhunter’s Short Story #29.

The year was 2016 and all of The Blackthorns were gathered together to celebrate an extremely important event, the birth of the newest member.

Back in 2012, Helen and Aline had decided they wanted to have a baby. Just a few months after becoming Consul, Alec passed a law that allowed Shadowhunters to seek mundane medical treatment for certain things such as transitioning and fertility treatment, provided they had help from someone who could hide their angel blood and other things that marked them as Nephilim.

At first, Helen and Aline tried to adopt but even after waiting two years, they were never matched with a baby or expectant mother, so they turned to fertility treatment. Helen wanted to be the one to carry their child, and Aline was more than happy with that, she had no desire to be pregnant, she wanted a child very much, but she didn’t want to carry a child.

Catarina helped them cover up their angel blood and such, as she had helped Jocelyn and Diana before.

Their first cycle of IVF failed, it was heartbreaking and disheartening for them, but they decided to try another round, they just about had enough money. They tried desperately not to get their hopes up, but it was very difficult not to

A few weeks after the second round, after a blood test at the fertility clinic, Helen found out she was pregnant. She didn’t think she’d ever been so happy and neither had Aline, they were excited beyond words to be parents and simply couldn’t wait to meet their baby. Their families were thrilled for them, Jia and Patrick were very excited to become grandparents and Helen’s bothers and sisters were extremely excited to become aunts and uncles, especially Mark, who was extremely protective of his sister while she was pregnant, he and Aline were constantly at her beck and call and very protective of her the whole time.

Helen was very grateful to have a smooth, uncomplicated pregnancy, she suffered some back pain, sickness and fatigue, but nothing extreme. She and Aline had decided not to find out the sex of the baby, but they had chosen names. If they had a girl they would name her Eleanor Livia Blackthorn-Pennhallow. If they had a boy they would name him Andrew Patrick Blackthorn-Pennhallow.

Just a few hours ago, Helen had woke up in the early hours of the morning with moderate pains in her stomach, which only continued to get stronger, she knew without a doubt she was in labor. She woke Aline, who then summoned The Clave Medic and a Silent Brother, sent her parents a fire message to let them know that the baby was coming, and woke everyone else in The Institute.

Helen’s labor was long and painful and she thought it would never end, but now that she was listening to her baby crying, Helen knew that every second of that pain was worth it.

“Helen you did it! Oh I’m so proud of you, I love you so much.”Aline says in a tone of disbelief and joy, stroking Helen’s damp hair back from her face. She had never been so proud of her wife, she had no idea how she had managed to do it, she was the strongest person she had ever met.

“Aline, do we have a girl or a boy?” Helen breathlessly asks, straining to glimpse what was happening at the end of the bed. She was so tried and sore but she was also beyond excited, she wanted nothing more than to hold her baby and snuggle up with Aline and their baby, she had waited year and years for this moment, and she could not wait anymore.

Aline turns her focus to the bottom of the bed where The Clave Medic and Brother Enoch were cleaning the baby off. Looking back to her wife, with tears in her eyes, Aline softly says

“It’s a girl Helen, we have a daughter.” Helen sobs in delight and pushes herself up in the bed.

“Is she okay?” Helen asks in a breathless, excited tone.

She is perfect, as healthy as can be. Brother Enoch tells Helen, as he gently gathers the baby up and lowers her into Helen’s arms. Helen’s breath hitches in her throat as she lays her eyes on her daughter, she was so small and so perfect. She had a few, thin wisps of light blond hair, just like Helen, she had Helen’s eye shape, pallor and mouth shape.

“Eleanor, hello baby girl, hi, I love you so much baby girl.” Helen softly says, softly tracing Eleanor’s little face,with the tips of her fingers. Little Eleanor snuggles closer to her mother, her cries dying down to soft whimpers and soon ceasing altogether.

“Helen, she’s perfect, and she looks just like you.” Aline softly says, tentatively reaching out and stroking the baby’s cheek. Eleanor reaches a hand out of the blankets and grips onto Aline’s finger.

“I can’t believe she’s here.” Helen says in a tight tone of voice, pressing a kiss to Eleanor’s forehead. She had waited years and years to hold her baby in her arms, and now that she was, she had absolutely no doubt that it was all worth it, she would go through all that hardship and pain again to have Eleanor .

After Helen and Aline have bonded with Eleanor for a few hours and Helen has had a chance to rest a bit, they feel ready to introduce Eleanor to her family. In order not to crowd Helen and the baby, Aline ordered that they all come up two or three at a time, first to meet little Eleanor are Julian and Emma.

“Helen you did so well, she’s amazing.” Julian softly says, gazing down at his niece, peacefully sleeping in his arms. He is unbelievably proud of his sister, she went through so much to become mother, but never gave up, and now she had a beautiful little girl, he knew she and Aline would be fantastic mothers and he was so excited to be an uncle.

“She really is, she looks just like you.” Emma quietly says, gently stroking Eleanor’s soft, flushed cheek. Ever since Jem and Tessa’s daughter Cordelia had been born, just a few years ago, Emma had really begun to enjoy spending time around babies and toddlers, she adored spending time with her little cousin and now she was thrilled to have a beautiful little niece.

“Thank you, I’m just so happy she’s here.” Helen says in a tired, hoarse voice.

“I can’t imagine how happy you are, you went through so much to have her, it must feel unbelievable to finally have her here.” Julian quietly says. He had no idea how Helen and Aline had done it, if it were him and Emma who were struggling to have a baby, he would’ve given up hope a long time ago, but Helen and Aline never did and now they had their perfect baby.

Once Emma and Jules have spent some time with Eleanor, Dru, Ty and Kit come up to meet her. Kit had come from Devon to meet the newest addition, since Eleanor would be like a niece to him, considering he and Ty had been dating for a few years now and he and Dru were the absolute best of friends. Kit was extremely protective of Dru, almost as protective as he was of Cordelia, who he considered his sister.

“She is just so sweet! You’re going to grow up to be just like your aunty, aren’t you sweet girl? I’m going to teach you how to pick locks and all the others things your moms won’t approve of!” Dru coos to her niece, who she has cradled in her arms. She was thrilled to be an aunt, and she knew Helen and Aline would be fantastic mothers, little Eleanor was very lucky to have them as parents.

“Dru! Don’t you dare!” Aline firmly says.

“I was kidding!” Dru defensively says. “No I wasn’t.” She then whispers to Eleanor. Aline rolls her eyes, having heard Dru whispering to the baby, but deciding to let it go.

“She’s cute, but not as cute as Cordelia.” Kit non-nonchalantly says, leaning over to peer into the bundle of blankets in Dru’s arms. In his eyes, there was no child cuter than his sister, it just wan’t possible.

“Kit! You can’t say that!” Dru says in an exasperated tone.

“Why not? That’s what he thinks.” Ty calmly asks from Dru’s other side, leaning toward his sister to get a closer look at his niece.

“It’s rude, that’s why!” Dru exclaims.

“It’s alright Dru, to us there’s no sweeter, cuter baby than Eleanor, but that’s how Kit feels about his sister, I felt like that about you and all the others when you were born.” Helen softly tells her sister. She knew Kit meant no harm.

“She looks like Livvy.” Ty softly says, running his hand over Eleanor’s wispy hair. “Her eyes, they’re the same shape as Livvy’s.” He softly adds.

“You’re right, she does.” Helen says. She had noticed that herself, and was delighted to see some of her sister in her daughter, but she knew it could be painful for Ty.

“I wish she was still here, she would have loved Eleanor.” Ty says in a tight tone. Kit gets up and sits next to his boyfriend, putting an arm around his shoulder and leaning his head against his. Ty was still in a lot of pain over loosing Livvy, he always would be, but Kit made things so much easier for him, being with someone he loved so much and who loved him that much, made Ty feel so much better, he just wished Livvy could be here to meet her niece and see how happy Ty was now.

After Dru, Kit and Ty leave, Tavvy comes up on his own to meet the baby.

Tavvy was extremely excited to become an uncle, he was mostly excited not to be the baby anymore, as at 11 he saw himself as extremely grown up. Helen and Aline knew he would be a wonderful help with little Eleanor, just as Dru and Ty would be, the youngest three children are the only ones still living in The Institute, Emma and Julian have a place of their own, as do Mark and Cristina (and of course they have the cottage between the mortal world and Faerie, where they meet with Kieran as often as they can).

“What do you think Tavvy, are you so happy not to be the baby anymore?” Helen softly asks her little brother, as he peers at his niece laid in his arms. He lifts his head and smiles brightly at his sister and nods.

“Yes I am! She’s really cute, she looks just like you.” He says.

“Yeah she sure does, we’re going to need your help over the next few weeks, while I recover and we get use to having a baby.” Helen says. She had no plans to leave her bed for the next week or so, she needed to rest and recover and bond with Eleanor.

“I don’t mind, I want to help with her, but I won’t change any dirty diapers!” Tavvy says. He was willing to do anything else, but he wouldn’t go near a dirty diaper, though no one really blamed him, Helen hated changing her sibling’s diapers when they were younger, but she got use to it over time, still it’s not her favorite task.

Helen softly kisses his forehead and gently says

“Thank you, Tavs, I really don’t know what I would do without you.”

Last to meet Eleanor were Mark, Cristina and Kieran. Mark and Kieran were so excited to become uncles, Mark had been a huge support to his sister through the whole pregnancy, he was always at her beck and call and would do anything she wanted, no matter what. He was possibly the most excited out of the whole family. He had been a rock for Helen through the process of trying to have a child, every time they got bad news from the adoption agency, and when that first round of IVF failed, Mark had been there to comfort her and support her, he didn’t force her to talk, but Helen knew she could talk to him if she wanted to. She really appreciated how wonderful he was to her and was thrilled to see him with Eleanor. He and Kieran were absolutely infatuated with her, Helen, Aline and Cristina were happy to just sit back and watch them fuss over the baby.

“Ellie, you love your Uncle Mark the most don’t you?” Mark coos to his niece.

“No, you love your Uncle Kieran the most, little bright one, don’t you?” Kieran softly says, smiling smugly when Eleanor grips his finger in her tiny hand.

“That doesn’t mean she likes you more, it was just a reflex!” Mark defensively says.

“You’re just jealous, isn’t he sweet Eleanor?” Kieran lightly says, bending to kiss Eleanor’s little hand, wrapped tightly around his finger.

“You’re such big children, come to aunty Cristina Ellie, your uncles are so silly.” Cristina says a in joyful tone, approaching Mark and holding her arms out for the baby. If anyone else had asked to hold the baby, Mark would have said no, but he could not say no to his beautiful Cristina.

Cristina holds the baby close to her chest and kisses her little head full of fuzzy blonde hair. She was the sweetest little thing she had ever seen, and she adored seeing Mark and Kieran with her, they were absolutely wonderful and naturals, she couldn’t wait to have children of her own with them, some day.

“Oh! I think someone needs a diaper change.” Cristina says, a few minutes later, wrinkling her nose as she gets whiff of the terrible smell coming from Eleanor.

“I’ll change her!” Mark says, jumping up from his spot by his sister’s bed and rushing to his girlfriend’s side.

“No I will!” Kieran exclaims, following Mark to Cristina’s side.

“I don’t trust just one of you with her, both of you change her.” Helen lightly says. Mark gathers little Eleanor into his arms and takes her next door to the nursery, to change her diaper.

The minute Mark opens Eleanor’s onsie, and the cold air hits her skin, she begins wailing loudly.

“Oh Ellie, don’t cry, it’s alright.” Mark gently says, hurrying to get her diaper changed.

“Don’t worry bright, shinning one, it’s alright, almost done.” Kieran softly coos to Eleanor, trying to calm his niece down. Eleanor simply continues to wail and wail as Mark fumbles with the straps on her diaper.

“It’s okay Ellie, I know this isn’t nice but we have to change you.” Mark coos. Just as he takes her diaper off and is about to put a fresh one on her, he is hit with a stream of pee, right in the middle of his chest. For a moment, he just stands there totally in shock, while Kieran tries to refrain his laughter.

“Ellie... that wasn’t very nice.” Mark says in a tone of surprise, looking from the stain on his shirt, to his niece.

“You go change your shirt, I will finish changing this little one.” Kieran says in an amused tone. Mark sighs and leans in to kiss Kieran in appreciation, but Kieran lightly pushes him away. “Mark I love you, but I am not kissing you when you smell like pee.” He says.

When Mark leaves and Kieran puts a fresh diaper on Eleanor, he grins at her and quietly says

“You did that to show Uncle Mark that I’m your favorite Uncle, didn’t you?”

Little Eleanor, just like her namesakes, was one of the most loved babies in the world, both her mothers adored her beyond words, all her aunts and uncles loved her more than anything, her grandparents were infatuated with her, Jia and Patrick adored their granddaughter and were extremely proud of her and her mothers.

Helen had never been happier than she is now she is a mother at long last, everything felt perfect for the first time in a long time, she just wished her parents and sister could be around to meet the daughter she longed for and fought for. Secretly, she liked to think Eleanor was a gift from her parents and sister.

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marcythewerewolf · 7 years

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Hi M! I was wondering if you've written anything Emma + Julian as of lately. I love all of your writings, even the headcanons (AND THOSE LONG ASS POSTS. I LIVE FOR THEM.) and I really wanted to read something about those two. Anything, really. Just mess me up and hit me with your worst (best)

You’ve just written me a blank check, friend. I’ll try to fill it as best I can. Warning for some prime, post-LOS Disaster Babies, and also some light making out and heavily charged touching. And when I say heavily charged I mean in the electrical hazard sort of way.

Emma’s touch burns his skin now, leaving faint red trails that fade after a few seconds. No matter how lightly she brushes his skin, it’s like touching the sun in miniature. No matter how hard he tries, Julian can’t bring himself to care.

She swirls spirals on his forearm under the table as the Council drones, and he tries not to flinch because Dru is leaning into his other side and keeps giving him odd looks when he does.

Jia Penhallow looks tall and gaunt as a statue, hair as dark as Annabel’s. Her face is locked in a permanent expression of deep discomfort, the best sign that things aren’t going well. Try as he might, Julian can’t quite listen to anything but Emma’s soft breathing beside him.

“-eeting adjourned,” Jia says finally. “We’ll call a vote on the proposed sanctions against Faerie tomorrow.”

No one has directly called out the Blackthorns yet. Julian can’t decide if it’s concerning or for the best. After the initial outcry over the Mortal Sword, most of the backlash had promptly been directed at the usual scapegoats. Good Shadowhunter children couldn’t be blamed if the wicked Downworlders took advantage of them, and no one could be bothered to do anything with the good Shadowhunter children because stopping disasters just isn’t the Clave’s way.

Even through two layers of leather, Emma’s hand is a hot iron on his upper arm as they walk out of the hall, ignoring the stares and whispers. Rumours, they can handle, what Julian cannot countenance the idea that they might be separated, in any way.

In his fugue, he thinks if he lost Emma’s warmth he might just collapse, stop working like Ty has.

Absolute zero is a state where nothing can move at all, the lowest temperature possible in the universe, and right now that feels like the default state of Julian’s heart.

They wait for Jia to come out so they can walk back with her to the Penhallows’ house. Diana, though much kinder and much more trustworthy, doesn’t have the space to let all of them stay with her.

The attic where they’d been shoved as children is even more cramped now, and so Jia and Patrick had politely extended a few more guest bedrooms. Julian had turned her down. He knows lots of people have to be looking for place to stay in Idris at the moment, and the instinct to Not Be A Burden is strong.

They’ve made do. Ty, Kit, and Tavvy are on the bed, Dru has allocated herself a chair, and Julian and Emma are camping on the floor with spare pillows and blankets. More often than not, Tavvy comes to join them. Ty needs his space now more than ever.

He’s up and eating when the get back, which is a good sign. Dru fills in Kit on the meeting, and Julian listens closely. Now that Emma isn’t touching him and he’s back with his family, he can almost start to think clearly again.

The facts as they stand aren’t good. Helen and Aline only haven’t been sent away because Jia had made the argument they were vital witnesses to what is now being called the Massacre in the Hall of the Accords.That gambit could backfire quickly, if the Dearborns have their way. Mark and Cristina have left to try to find Kieran, and hopefully protect Mark from repercussions. He is safe, and that is a comfort, but he’s also not here.

“What about Livvy’s body?” Ty asks, still looking at his bowl of soup. Julian’s not sure he’s made direct eye contact with anyone since his twin sister died. “Did they say anything about what they did with her?”

He shakes his head. “No, buddy, sorry. We’re working on it, but the Silent Brothers are being very close lipped, apparently.”

In truth, he’s not even sure they’ll be able to have a funeral. The Mortal Sword is sacred, it’s got to mess up the usual rites and rituals. He can’t tell Ty that though, not yet. The situation is fragile enough as it is.

Julian’s brother crumples softly in on himself, and the overall mood of the room takes a despondent turn. Emma leans across on the bed and lays a searing hand on the back of Julian’s neck, making him stiffen with pain. The shock is what he needs to pull together though. As every hair on his body tingles, he tries to look like he’s in control.

“It’s only been a day and a half. You know how the Clave moves, and Jia is intentionally trying to slow things down. It’ll get better, I promise.”

The words ring hollow, even to him, but Emma smiles and that makes it okay.

In the dark at night, it’s the worst. They’re so close, but so far away. The room is full of the susurration of a half a dozen children breathing, and doing all the things he wants to do is impossible.

What he can do is touch her. Tavvy’s on the bed tonight, they have the floor to themselves, and Julian traces flowers on her bare stomach in the dim moonlight. Her skin is covered in goosebumps, and every time he touches her again her breath hitches in her throat. He does spinning roses and symmetrical camellias and dandelions which are really just an excuse to stroke lines in every direction away from her belly button. She is so hot, like a bonfire in a blizzard, and he wants to throw himself inside her and burn to death. Instead he draws ivy up her collarbone until the pads of his fingers feel so unbearably warm he puts them in his mouth despite himself. (There they are cool to the the tongue.)

Emma grins, puts one branding iron hand on the small of his back and pulls him in closer to her.

“You know it doesn’t work like that,” she whispers, as softly as a butterfly landing. It’s clearly a struggle for her to be so quiet. Even the way she moves, unrestrained as a storm, makes him hesitate, but he still can’t stop himself from holding her.

“It’s magic,” Julian whispers, wrapping an arm around her so she shudders. “It can work however it wants.”

When she presses him down into her thin pillow on the worn wood floor, she feels heavier than she should, like a car crushing his chest. He can barely breath as she kisses his eyelids, and when he opens his eyes again the world is gold and red.

Once Julian catches his breath and lets the stars behind his eyes fade, he writes, RUNE? on her upper arm. She shakes her head and gives him a questioning look. Runes don’t work like that, they both know, but maybe whatever horrible power they have now does. They shouldn’t experiment. He desperately wants to.

It’s a dark sort of curiosity that drives him to pull her nearest hand to his lips. With some consideration, he kisses each knuckle and callous and watches as she shivers. Still, even that small reaction isn’t enough. He goes for the vein at her wrist and works his way up her arm, brushing away the tangle on blonde hair when he reaches her shoulder. Emma leans into him, her breath like steam on his neck.

Ty turns on the bedside lamp. “What are you doing?” he demands.

Next to him, Kit and Tavvy, both wearing pairs of Aline’s old pajamas, start to stir as well. A disgruntled noise from Dru is followed by some bleary stares and then her falling out of the chair.

“That’s illegal!” Ty and Dru say at almost the same, scandalized time. Julian doesn’t even have time to offer up a defense, although not many platonic explanations for their activities come to mind.

Kit frowns. “Wait, really?”

Dru is scared for all of them, Ty is offended on multiple accounts, Tavvy is elated, Kit is mostly confused.

They all promise not to tell, though Julian knows their faith in him has taken another hard hit. The family comes first, no matter what. He raised them well.

He and Emma retreat to the bathroom to come up with a plan of attack. A plan of recovery was equally acceptable.

“They’ll understand,” Emma assures him as they sit together on the tile. “It might take a while, but I know they will.”

“I-” Julian begins, and finds the lie chokes in his throat. “Maybe you’re right. We don’t have time though. What if the Cohort moves, what if charges start to be brought against us, what if they threaten Helen, or Mark?”

She squeezes his hand, bringing some warmth back in the frozen fear of his mind. “Then we’ll destroy them.”

When they return, Ty has also held his own meeting, and drafted a few ultimatums.

“We need to tell Helen and Aline,” he says. He’s still not looking at anyone straight on, but his voice is strong and steady.

“We can’t keep lying to each other,” Dru says, chin wobbling but eyes stubborn. “You can’t keep lying to us, Jules.”

“Please-”

Ty cuts him off before he can offer any soothing words. “We know you meant well, but we’re not kids anymore. We can handle this.”

They can. They are shaking and shaken, but unbroken yet. He’s so, so proud of them, and he loves them all so much. He can’t imagine ever hurting them, even for the endless enveloping fire Emma now embodies, and he desperately hopes it stays that way.

“And I want to find Livvy,” Ty says, in a voice that breaks before Kit wraps his arms tightly around him from the back. “I- we can’t leave without her.”

It’s settled just like that, quickly in the night by children not quite sure what they’re doing and certainly not old enough to be making the choices they are. Story of Julian’s life.

Breaking into the Silent City is easily said then done. Emma and Julian go alone. It’s better than endangering the children.

In dark corridors, tombs of fallen warriors, and hallowed libraries, they find nothing, not even the answers about their predicament Julian was half looking for. Deeper still, in the cells and vaults, there is still no sign of Livia. Her corpse, bloodless and tiny and horribly awkward in death, limp and hanging from the ornate hilt of the Mortal Sword like he remembers, is nowhere to be found. The shards of the Sword itself are all laid out on a bier, but the girl who died for them gets none of the same decency.

All the Brothers except a few are out, searching the world for answers to the crisis of the day. Emma choked out a few on the way in, but the City had been mostly unguarded.

Under the circumstances, Julian thinks lighting the whole place on fire is entirely reasonable.

Emma’s face shines as the stone melts and catches with the help of their burning, glowing, wicked rune. She’s flush and fierce and delighted as they drag the unconscious Brothers into a safe building and run, and Julian delights with her, feels hot and bright and alive. Love is a sort of mourning, just as vengeful arson is a sort of funeral pyre. He had given Uncle Arthur a church, Livvy deserves at least a small city.

The entrance to the Silent City soon swarms with more Brothers, with Shadowhunters rushing to help. By the time they meet back up with their party in the Penhallows’ back garden, the plume of smoke is visible to most of Idris.

Helen looks appalled, Aline looks impressed, Ty mostly just looks upset. “Where is she?” he asks.

“What did you do?” Helen asks, hands on her hips like an older sister in full.

“She wasn’t there,” Julian gasps, “So we, ah, made do. It’s not a proper Shadowhunter funeral, but it’s close enough, isn’t it?” Still high on skin contact with Emma and powerful magic, he feels like he could wrestle a bear. He wants to find a bed and kiss her senseless, and the bed is really optional.

Helen has the gall to disapprove, as if she was there for them at all, as if she has any room to judge them for being unacceptable by Shadowhunter norms. “Julian…” she sighs, looking worriedly at Taavy and Dru. They’re hiding behind her. It’s possible, Julian realizes, that he might look a little mad right now.

“We’re fine,” he insists, and when Helen moves to touch his cheek, he bats her away.

She shrieks, and yanks her hand back quickly. The garden of Blackthorns and Blackthorn-adjacents freezes. Aline is hovering over her in an instant, inspecting her blistered hand and murmuring questions.

Helen looks a little frightened, and that’s enough to frighten Julian. “I’m fine,” she says, “I just… it burned. Even the air around you is hot. Jules?”

He and Emma exchange a glance. “Nothing like that’s ever happened before,” Emma tells her quickly, “I mean, sometimes things kind of like that, but not really like that. No one’s ever gotten hurt.”

Before, remains unspoken.

The grass around Julian and Emma’s feet starts to wither and smoke. Above the little walled garden, the plume of smoke reaches higher and higher, up into the heavens, no longer a triumphal column and now just a marker of a disaster somewhere not too far away.

#julian blackthorn #emma carstairs #lord of shadows spoilers #the dark artifices #blackstairs #my terrible parabatai children #fanfic #m writes

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cristinablackthornkingson · 6 years

Text

Shadowhunters Short Story #13.

“What do you think? Is it ready?” Aline softly asks her wife, slipping her arm around Helen’s waist as they look around the small and newly decorated room in their home in Wrangle Island. In the far corner, under the window is a crib with white sheets and a few stuffed toys. Engraved in the headboard of the crib are the family symbols of Blackthorn and Pennhallow. Next to the crib is a beautiful oak changing stations with soft white padding. Beside that is an old fashioned rocking chair with a few blankets on the back of the chair and two cushions on the seat. There was a chest of draws pushed up against the teal blue wall, next to the door, with a framed photograph of Helen and Aline on their wedding day, on top. The chest of drawers was full of tiny outfits, socks, hats, blankets and cloths. The walls were adorned with pictures of Helen and Aline’s family and brightly colored paintings that once hung in Tavvy’s nursery. Everything was perfect.

“It’s absolutely perfect, and will be even more so once she arrives.” Helen says, her tone full of joy, as she leans into her wife.

Two years ago, Helen and Aline decided that they wanted to grow their family and become parents. They had thought about it for a while before deciding on adoption. They faced a lot of discrimination for being a gay couple and there was many days and nights spent weeping and sobbing after being rejected or discriminated against, there were a few times were they almost threw in the towel and accepted they were never going to be parents. But just as they were officially about to give up, they met a young expectant mother named Francesca, she was a Shadowhunter in her early 20s who was born and raised in Italy, when she turned 18 she decided to travel to different institutes to train, she was in Spain first for a few years, then Russia, then Thailand and most recently New York where Helen and Aline had met her while visiting Magnus and Alec. Francesca had gotten pregnant as a result of a failed relationship. She was not ready to be a mother, she was still so young and not ready to settle down and raise a baby, so she decided to place the baby for adoption. When she met Helen and Aline the three of them just clicked and became very close. It didn’t take long for her to choose them as her baby’s parents. Helen and Aline had wept with joy and couldn’t thank her enough. A month later they announced the news to their family and friends who were thrilled for them. The three women soon settled on an open adoption, where Francesca would receive letters containing pictures and information about the baby and would be welcome to see her at any time. At Francesca's request, the baby would grow up calling her ‘Aunt Francesca, but they also all decided that the baby would know she was adopted from the get go, they would be extremely open and honest about it with her.

Now Francesca was 9 months pregnant and due any day. Helen and Aline had been given permission by Jia to return to New York for the birth of their child. The Cold Peace was still in place but not as harshly as before, there were a lot of people working on lifting Helen and Aline’s exile and they were becoming very close to doing so.

Two days later just as Helen and Aline are about to go to bed, they receive a fire letter from Francesca telling them she was in labor and they need to come to New York soon because the baby is coming very fast. Francesca had decided to deliver the baby in the infirmary of the New York Institute with a Clave midwife delivering the baby.

Helen and Aline spent a good ten minutes rushing around, getting dressed, finding bags, doing last minute packing, etc. By the time they stepped through the portal Catarina had created for them, their daughter had already been born. Catarina- who had been helping out with the birth- guided them into the room where Francesca and the baby were.

Francesca was sitting up in bed, supported by a pile of pillows, her dark hair damp with sweat was drawn up into a bun on the top of her head, but most noticeable was the little bundle of blankets in her arms with tufts of dark brown hair.

Helen grabs her wife’s hand as she sees her daughter for the first time, tears of joy welling up in her eyes. She itched to hold her but didn’t want to intrude on Francesca's few moments with her.

Sensing their presence, the younger girl looks up and smiles tiredly at them.

“Oh we don’t want to interrupt, we can come back later if you’d like some more time with her.” Helen hurriedly says, tripping over herself to not offend Francesca in anyway, in fear of her changing her mind about the adoption, since it wouldn’t be official for another few days. Francesca shakes her head and quietly says

“No, it’s alright, I’ve had my time with her and now it’s yours, don’t feel obligated to stay with me, go somewhere private and bond with her.” She gently lowers the baby into Aline’s outstretched arms, before lowering herself onto her side, her back facing the new family, clearly she wanted to be alone. So Helen and Aline took their daughter into one of the spare rooms and sat on the edge of the bed, just gazing at her for a while.

“She is so perfect.” Helen softly says, tears of joy rolling down her face. She could hardly believe this little one was hers, that she would get to raise her and love her and teach her everything she knows, to be her mama.

“That she is.” Aline quietly says, kissing the baby’s little hand that was curled around her finger.

“I love you.” Helen says, leaning in and kissing her beautiful wife.

“I love you too.” Aline gently says, softly brushing a lock of Helen’s blonde hair behind her ear.

After a few hours of cuddling with their daughter and basking in their new found joy, they decide to introduce their little girl to her aunts and uncles. They had chosen the baby’s godparent’s from their families, they had originally asked Ty to be her godfather but he couldn't understand why they were going to give her godparents when Shadowhunters believe in not just one religion but them all, and so he declined. So they asked Aline’s father Patrick, who was delighted to be asked, and they also asked Mark, who was extremely touched by the offer and immediately accepted. They had asked Dru to be the baby’s godmother and she was only too happy to accept, she was so excited to become an aunt and no doubt would be a wonderful help with her niece.

It takes 20 minutes to gather everyone (Meaning Julian, Emma, Ty, Kit, Dru, Tavvy, Mark, Cristina, Kieran and Diana) but once they do, everyone is eager to meet the newest addition and hear her name. Helen and Aline had kept their baby’s name a secret the entire pregnancy, the wanted to introduce her to her family by announcing her name.

Sitting on the sofa beside Ty, with Aline beside her and Kit beside Ty, Helen proudly introduces her daughter.

“Everyone, this is Arabella Livia Blackthorn-Pennhallow.” Everyone is silent following the announcement, unsure of how to react to little Arabella having her deceased aunt’s name as a middle name. Helen (and everyone else) still missed Livvy terribly, her heart still ached for her and she would give anything to have her back. She felt it was the right thing to do, honoring her sister by naming her daughter after her, Livvy would be so happy and would adore her niece, she would have been a wonderful aunt.

“Ty, we want you to hold her first.” Helen gently says, turning to her little brother. It really didn’t seem long ago that he was as small as Arabella. Helen had prepared for an argument with her brother, she had expected him to reject the baby and refuse to hold her. But instead he wordlessly holds his arms out for the baby. Helen places the baby in his arms and help’s him support her head, before sitting back and watching him interact with her. Little Arabella was reaching up to tug on the wire of her uncle’s headphones around his neck, but luckily she wasn’t able to grasp them yet. Instead she settles for reaching up and patting Ty’s face. Helen expected Ty to get annoyed and flustered and hand Arabella back, and although her patting did seem to bother him, he didn’t try and hand her back or make her stop.

“I think Livvy would really have loved her.” Ty quietly says, his dark head still bent down as he looked at his niece. Smiling softly at her little brother, Helen gently says “I think so too Ty, that’s we named her Arabella Livia.”

“I miss her.” Ty quietly says. Livvy’s death had been the hardest on her twin brother, if Ty didn’t have Kit, Helen wasn’t sure he’d have been okay after Livvy died. Kit was an amazing friend (or perhaps more judging on their behavior recently) for Ty, who he could lean on and get support from.

“Me too bud, me too.” Helen softly says, gently squeezing her baby brother’s hand.

Things would never be the same without Livvy, everyone would always miss her beyond words, her death would always have a massive impact on the Blackthorn family. It had been two years since she passed and now little Arabella was here perhaps everyone could learn to love again and hope again, and move on with their lives, just as Livia would have wanted.

#the dark artifices #Helen Blackthorn #aline penhallow #helaine #adoption #Ty Blackthorn #kit herondale #Livvy Blackthorn #mark blackthorn #dru blackthorn #Patrick Pennhallow #shadowhunters #cassandra clare

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