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#I am dying to know the story of how he grew up
anotherbluesunday · 3 days
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✨Moodboard Teaser: In Technicolor✨
With the release of the first chapter coming in hot with its expected release being this Friday at the latest or sooner (possibly as early as tomorrow) I wanted to take the time to acquaint everyone with the primary couples in this story. Usually I cap it at two couples and have auxilary couples and characters on the fringes. But because this is a crossover between two of my favorite shows, I have expanded it to three—possibly four—couples with auxilaries (secondary) on the fringes. These couples will include original characters i.e. Wynn Galpin who is Tyler Galpin’s younger sister. There is a crossover couple that joins the Wednesday group with the Riverdale group. This couple is where I expect to receive the most backlash but idc. Their my crossover otp and I hope you all trust me enough to keep reading and join me/the characters on this journey. I have also switched some things up with one of the Riverdale characters because the ship only got screen time in the last season and it did more for their character than their actual failed relationships did the entire season. Fight me. But don’t. Or do.
Anyway, here are the couples moodboards, as promised. The visuals were inspired by Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juilet because these past few months since January I have been on a 90’s and 2000’s kick and I am dying for how that movie captured the beauty, grit, grime, and excitement of LA. So enjoy and let me know what you think! 💜
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We open with our crossover couple who are the star-crossed lovers—Cheryl Blossom, the queen of the Palisades and star tennis player and Pugsley “Lee” Addams, the king of Elysian Heights and leader of his grunge sleeze band Texca. Born second generation to a working class defense attorny and day-time caregiver to the elderly, Lee Addams has just wants to make it through his senior year of high school and hangout with his friends on the weekend. But when he and his twin sister Wednesday step a little too far over the line at their old school their parents pull some strings to have their three children—Wednesday, Pugsley, and Pubert “Bertie” attend Morticia’s former high school. There, Lee unwittingly comes face to face with the campus queen, the indomitable and untouchable Cheryl Blossom. Born into privilege with the face of an angel and the bite of a viper, she has everything and anything. Influence thanks to her parents name. Adoration by way of her beauty. And power because of her abilities to manipulate others. But what happens when a hurricane meets an immoveable force? Will they fold? Destroy one another? What happens when the pretty vicious face isn’t all it seems to be and the cutting confidence is stripped away? Who are the real people that lie beneath it all?
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Next are our second pair of the four star-crossed lovers. While it is never a good idea to fall for your twin flame, for Tyler and Wednesday it isn’t so simple. Twin flames and soulmates fused into one as if it were a sick joke, their story begins at a party—the raven haired twin sister with her face painted like a Catrina (see: Dia de los Muertos symbols and iconography) and the Galpin golden boy dressed like Sir Lancelot with the sacred heart etched into his chest plate. Like her brothers, Wednesday grew up living a modest life where nothing was taken for granted and family sits at the heart of all major decisions. For Tyler, he has forgotten the importance of family and community after starting university where his life has evolved into an endless stream of parties and hookup’s. Never struggling but also never being challenged to be better or grow, he’s hit a wall. A mid-life crisis of sorts but at the already chaotic age of 18 with his 19th birthday right around the corner. But from the moment he lays eyes on Wednesday she is all he can think of. All he breathes and dreams of—a beautiful stranger that won’t free him. Yet when this silver tongued Casanova tries to approach the dark beauty he’s shot down. Challenged to question who he is and what he truly is doing with his life that matters. What is in store for the idealistic social revolutionist and her troubled admirer? Where will they land when the walls of his kingdom come crumbling down?
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The youngest of three siblings each yet one is protected and coddled like a greenhouse flower while the other has flourished amidst hardship and bouts of poverty. Wynn Galpin is caught in a never-ending loop of compassions to her twin older siblings, Tyler and Enid. Both are straight A students. Both star athletes with Tyler winning championship after championship for swim and Enid earning a full-ride scholarship to UCLA for volleyball. Both are charming and charismatic. Both are perfect and Wynn can never compare despite how she tries. She doesn’t have the passion for swim or volleyball so she chooses cheer. “That’s not a real sport” she’s told. Her siblings get A’s but she can hardly scrape by with B’s while battling her depression and anxiety. At all times, her mind is screaming for her to just run off and disappear. And after the loss of her friend and pseudo-sister Polly, the darkness has become more persuasive. More invasive and vicious. But it is during a spiral that forces her out of the gym during cheer practice that she runs into the new kid. The brainiac junior in her senior level AP classes. Pubert “Bertie” Addams. A carefree class clown with a heart of gold and the virgin Guadalupe drawn in vibrant neons on the bottom of his skateboard. Where will this new path take them when the class clown and the beauty queen who seems to always be in tears meet to form an oddball friendship? And what happens when their hearts begin to long for more than just friendship but their worlds couldn’t be more different? How will things turn out for the greenhouse flower and her sidewalk dandelion?
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What’s the worst that could happen when you fall in love with your best friend? What happens when you think they love someone else? When you think they could never see you the way you see them in return? Do you stand there and wait for them to turn around? Or do you walk away while piecing together your heart that will never know real closure? Reggie has asked himself these questions nearly every day for the past six years since his family moved to the fringes of the Palisades and enrolled him in the affluent junior high nearby. Archie Andrews was his first friend at his new school all those years ago. The first one to get up during lunch time and sit down next to him. The one who didn’t care that his parents weren’t from money and had only recently come into their fortune. The one who didn’t care that he didn’t have the newest clothes, phone, or hairstyle. Like a guardian angel come to save him from perpetual solitude, Archie befriended Reggie with a bright smile and a silly joke. And since that day, Reggie has kept his love for the redhaired boy wonder to himself. Has been the picture of what a bestfriend should be. Has supported Archie and defended him. Joined their high school swim team with him just so that they could live out Archie’s dream of being the one’s to break Tyler, the former captain’s, record and win more championships than him and his team did. Reggie has lived a beautiful but painful lie for nearly a decade and the cracks have begun to show. The devotion now agony. The love a barbed dagger twisted liettle by little every time he has to play third wheel on Archie’s dates with his girlfriend Veronica. But one night their eyes meet across a sea of moving bodies at a house party. Archie kissing Veronica but can’t stop looking at Reggie. There’s a spark. A sadness. Hope. But is there truth? Is there a willingness to be honest? To accept this attraction that has been there waiting from the start? Does Archie know what real love could be like if he just turned around? Or will the lovefool angel look away once again and leave the poor friend and saint in the dark?
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Stay tuned for more because this is only the beginning. Next will be the auxiliary couples, characters, and family boards for the three main ones at play. But the next next post that will be following this one will be the official titlecard for Chapter One. Can’t wait to see you all again there. 💜
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seunmong-in · 26 days
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🌅Sunsets in Sydney🌅
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Genre: Fluff, childhood best friend to lovers, Idol! Felix x Reader, Humor, slight cursing, she fell first but he fell harder. 
Words: 2.1k 
Summary: After being on tour for a whole year, Felix is finally back in Sydney for a well-deserved break. While he is ecstatic to be with his family again, there’s one person who he wants to see most. His childhood best friend and crush, Y/N. 
A/n: Okay, can I start this off by saying, Holy crap… Thank you to all who like or reblogged my first fanfic with Han!! ( click his name if you wanna read it ! ) I honestly thought it wasn’t that good since I wrote it in a very sleep-deprived state, lol. But y’all proved me wrong🥹❤️‍🩹 That said, I hope you guys also like this story with Felix! Like always, if you have any feedback or want to make a special request just DM me!! Here’s also my latest one with Seungmin as well 🫶🏼
P.S Does anyone else have “that’s not very nice” stuck in their head too?
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365 days. 
That's how long Felix has been away from the place he calls home. And no, he doesn't mean his actual home back in Sydney. He means being away from his childhood best friend, Y/n. 
Felix and Y/n have been best friends since grade school. They have always been there for each other, from performing in talent shows to caring for each other when one falls ill. They are like two peas in a pod; wherever one goes, the other is sure to follow.
On the day Felix had to tell Y/n that he was leaving Sydney to become an idol in Korea, he broke down crying. He was worried that being thousands of miles away from his closest friend would strain their relationship. As he was about to board the plane, he turned around to see Y/n waving goodbye to him with tears streaming down her face, and he couldn't help but cry, too.
Surprisingly, Felix and Y/n's friendship didn't end after that day. Instead, their bond grew even stronger. Y/N would constantly update Felix through text or calls, sharing the details of her day and making sure he didn't miss out on anything important. While Felix enjoyed receiving these updates, what he loved most was the pictures his mom would send him of Y/n with his family on small family trips. Seeing her smile and taking selfies with his sisters always warmed his heart.
He had already surpassed the stage of simply developing feelings for Y/n. Felix adored her. He loved her. Whenever he watched a video of a couple on TikTok or Instagram, he imagined how to recreate the same videos with Y/n by his side. His heart skipped when Y/n surprised him at one of his earlier concerts with Olivia and Hannah, Chan's sister. The memory of her dancing his part of God's Menu while Hannah danced Chan's part on the big screen was something he would never forget. Since that night, Felix had been planning to confess his love to Y/n, and he decided to do it under the sunset in Sydney.
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Under the hot summer sun, Felix's freckled face is lit up with a big smile as his family rushes to greet him. Olivia is the first to embrace him, screaming, "Oh my God, do you even know how I miss you, Lix?!"
Felix laughed, embracing his youngest sister and repeating, "I miss you more." He noticed that Olivia had grown a bit since the last time he saw her and that her hair was now dyed at the ends. Noticing her brother staring at her hair, Olivia mentioned that Y/N did it a few days ago at one of their usual girls' nights. His mom and dad were the next two to hug him tightly, with his mom shedding a few happy tears.
"I say this every time, but I am so happy to have my baby back home."
Felix wraps his arms around his mom, hugging her as he says, "I am happy to be back home to Mom."
Felix was sitting in the back of a car, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Y/n. He was waiting for her message, asking if he had reached home safely, but he had yet to receive any message from her. Although this was unusual, he assumed she might be busy.
Suddenly, Olivia abruptly interrupts Felix's train of thought, "So, are you finally going to ask Y/n to be your girlfriend while you're here, or are we still sticking to the whole 'she's just my best friend' excuse?" The unexpected question catches Felix off guard. His face turns red with embarrassment as his mother turns her head around from the passenger seat, waiting for a response.
Avoiding eye contact with his mother and sister, Felix clears his throat, allowing himself to find the right words.
"Um.. what makes you think I even have feelings for her?"
Olivia stares at her older brother, scolding him with his earlier response, "Felix be so fucking for real right now. It's obvious you have feelings for Y/n. You look at her as if she is your whole world, your face lights up with a smile whenever she texts you, and you always seem to find a way to talk about her when we talk on the phone. If that doesn't scream, "I am in love with my best friend," then I don't know what does. Oh, and before you go and argue with me about this, even the boys agree that you are completely strung up on her. So do us all a favor and tell her how you feel, will you?"
Felix sighs as he looks up to see his sister's gaze. He knew he had to come clean now before his plans got ruined. 
"Have I mentioned how much I dislike you sometimes, Liv?"
"Yeah, but I'm your favorite sister, so start spilling before I call Hyunjin and have him tell Y/n to you." 
During the last five minutes of their car ride, Felix confided in his family about his plan to ask Y/n out when they reached the house. He made them promise not to say anything to Y/n about his plan since he wanted to create a memorable and private moment between them.
As Felix's father pulled into the driveway, Felix noticed Y/n's car parked across the street. His heart raced as he jumped out of the car, ignoring his mother's yelling about not going inside yet. 
Felix barges through the main door and stops when he sees the handmade "Welcome Home Lixie" banner that Y/n was struggling to put up. He chuckles softly and leans by the living room doorway, watching as she gets on her tiptoes to hook the string onto the nail.
"You know, I could've helped you put up the banner, sunshine if you would've waited a little longer."
Y/n turns around to find Felix smirking. Blushing, she runs to him and hugs him. He hugs her back, lifting her up and spinning her around.
Trying not to cry on his shoulders, Y/n ever so softly whispers, "You have no idea how much I missed your hugs, Lix."
"Me too, sunshine, it's been way too long."
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After returning home and having dinner early, Felix went upstairs to his room. There, he discovered a welcome-home basket in the center of his bed. The basket contained his favorite candies, face masks, a small chicken plushie, and gift cards to his preferred places. Felix smiled, realizing that it was a gift from Y/n. She was always the type to spoil others with gifts, even if it was a small occasion. Looking through the gifts in the basket, he heard a soft knock on the door, and Y/n walked in. When Felix looked up at her, they locked eyes for the second time that day. Time seemed to come to a standstill, and after a while, Y/n was the first to break the silence.
"I hope you like it; I saw it on Tiktok late last night and thought I should make you one."
"I love it a lot; thank you, sunshine." 
He gives her a soft smile and motions for her to sit with him on the bed. She walks over and sits beside him, watching him unwrap more gifts. Y/n can't help but laugh as Felix brings the chicken plushie up to his face, jokingly asking, "Do you think it looks like me?"
"As much as I want to say yes, I feel like I am going betray BbokAri, so I must lie and say no."
Felix and Y/n laugh as Felix places the plushie back on the shelf behind him. The room lights up in a golden hue, indicating the sun is about to set. Without wasting more time, Felix takes Y/n's hand and leads her out of his room and towards his car.
"Lix, what are you doing? Where are we going?"
"I was hoping we could watch the sunset together again, just like we did as kids. It's been quite some time since the last time we did, and let's face it, we're not getting any younger. Before we know it, we'll be as old as old man Chan."
""I'm going to tell him you said that," she says, laughing as she follows him to his car. They both jump in and drive to the nearby beach.
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As the car pulled onto the sandy shore, Felix practically flew out of his side to open the door for Y/n. She beamed with delight as she stepped out, feeling the warm sand under her toes. Felix swiftly closed the car door and took her hand, leading her towards the beach. The sky was ablaze with a breathtaking display of pink and orange hues as the sun descended below the horizon.
"I forgot how pretty the sunset could be when you can see the reflection on the water."
"I know, but it's even prettier with you beside me," Felix responds. 
Y/n stands before Felix, unsure if he is joking or serious. He chuckles as she becomes flustered.
"You know that's not very nice."
"What isn't sunshine?"
"You saying that to me and not explaining what you mean," Y/n states as she turns away from him. 
Felix grabs Y/n by her waist and spins her, holding her close. Y/n's face flushes a deep shade of pink as she catches her breath. They've been close for years, but something feels different about this moment. There's a palpable tension in the air, a feeling of unspoken love that's hard to ignore. Felix looks deep into Y/n's eyes, examining how the sun's warm glow illuminates them. The sound of waves crashing against the shore adds to the moment's magic. Fighting the urge to kiss her immediately, Felix takes a deep breath as he stares into her eyes. 
"Do you remember why I decided to return home for a break instead of staying in the dorms with the boys?" Puzzled by his random question, Y/n nods her head, looking back into his dark brown eyes. 
"Of course I do. It was because you wanted to be with your family since you were homesick, Lix."
"You're right. But there's something important that I need to tell you, something that should've been said from the very beginning. Y/n, I like you. I'm in love with you. I love you so much that it hurts not to have you by my side most days or even to call you mine. The night before I left Sydney, I intended to confess my feelings to you, but I knew it was bad timing since I was leaving, and I didn't want to end our friendship. So, I kept it to myself for years. However, seeing you with Liv and Hannah at our concert earlier this year, dancing and singing to our songs, made me realize that what I felt for you was more than just a simple grade school crush. Y/n, I'd be lying if I said you weren't the person I want to spend the rest of my life with because I do. I want you to be mine, my only sunshine. And if you don't feel the same way, I understand..."
Felix was toward the end of his sentence when Y/n suddenly cut him off by pressing her lips against his. It was a bold move, but she had been crushing on Felix for what felt like an eternity and couldn't hold back any longer. When they finally pulled away, Felix looked at Y/n with a knowing smile, pressing his forehead on hers. In a very soft voice, Felix finally finishes his sentence. 
"I cannot imagine spending a single day without you by my side anymore. Will you do me the greatest honor of all and be mine forever?
""Until forever stops existing, my love."
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factual-fantasy · 4 months
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I realized we know the least about the river person in ya au.
Care to remedy that?
Well to be honest.. not a whole lot has changed about her. I keep forgetting she exists and I don't have a lot of ideas for how she could interact with the group..
Though speaking of her, recently I tried to dig into her character a little more and I started by making a redesign for her. Although its only the first pass and Isn't official yet-
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And despite my attempts, for now her story and character is still relatively the same..
She was just a lonely boat keeper. She would come home from her shifts to a gloomy house where no one was waiting for her. No family, no friends.. no pets or hobbies.. she didn't really have anything going on except for running the boat. And to be honest.. she was kind'a okay with that in a way. She just accepted that this was her life, and this is how she lives. And its not like she had no joy in her life. Her joy came from running the boat.
She would take all kinds of people down the river, and they would talk to her. They would tell her wonderful things. The children would talk about their hopes and dreams. What they wanted to be when they grew up.. what their favorite food was. They'd tell her about that crazy looking frog they saw on the way here.
The elderly would tell her stories of all the places they'd been and all the things they'd seen. And even if they didn't talk to her directly.. she still overheard some interesting conversations. The young couples would talk about what they were planning on naming their first child. They would talk about what they wanted their house to look like and how many pets they wanted to have.
And sometimes the people on the boat didn't talk at all. Sometimes they looked sad and wouldn't look up from their feet.. So she would sing to them. And when they got off she would tell them "I hope you're day gets better. I enjoyed your company." And the few times she got a smile back made it all worth it.
She put her value of herself and her life on the people around her. Transporting people from point A to point B and occasionally cheering people up.. was all the worth she really felt she had..
But then Jevil and his group came along for a boat ride. Half way down the river Jevil breaks out in a cold sweat and starts to shake. Somethings wrong.
"This world is about to end." The group perks up "What?"
Grabbing Seams sleeve beside him he says louder and frantically "THIS WORLD IS ENDING"
Jevil jumps up and makes a mirror below the water large enough to swallow the boat whole.
As they fall through the mirror, horrible soul breaking sounds can be heard as that timeline collapses in on itself.
The boat probably landed in a snowdin somewhere.. or maybe another waterfall? Or maybe in a dark world.. where ever it landed, Jevil was looking the group over when he saw River Person..
"Where.. am I?"
He had done it again. Ripped someone out of its AU just as it was dying...
I intended for River person to have some kind of survivors guilt. Thinking her life had no real value and that anyone else in her AU deserved to have been saved in her place. Almost the opposite of Grillby.
Grillby hates Jevil becuase he valued his life and lost everything he held dear.. River Person doesn't hate Jevil for saving her at all. She's not sad about losing her life becuase she never really had one.. She's just grieving for all those people who died and wishes any of them could have been saved in her place.
The guilt really eats her up inside..
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Note: request by @hb8301! I hope you like this short fic :)
Warnings: fluff. pregnancy, mention of giving birth (nothing described).
pairing: Sihtric x you (f)
Summary: You told Sihtric you were pregnant, and he immediately became a loving father-to-be.
Word count: 1,5k 
Masterlist
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'I am pregnant, not dying.'
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Your belly wasn't even showing yet, but as soon as you had told Sihtric you carried his pup a few days ago, he would rest his hand on your tummy at any given chance. Sihtric, your playful, loving, but often still rather boyish husband, suddenly went into full dad mode after he had finally processed your words that day.
Days later, you were sitting on the floor, wrapped in fur, preparing dinner when Sihtric came home from another day of scouting the lands with Finan.
'No, my love,' Sihtric gasped, 'what are you doing?' he asked and helped you up, 'I told you I would take care of everything, you need to… you need to rest, take things easy.'
Sihtric sat you down on a stool and his concerned eyes darted over your face, he was terrified you were doing more than you should.
'Sihtric,' you sighed and took his hands, 'I am pregnant, not dying,' you chuckled, 'I can do everything just fine.'
'But I don't want you to,' he said, 'I want you to be careful.' Sihtric placed his hand on your belly, 'our pup needs to be comfortable, as do you.'
'I am comfortable,' you said, knowing the morning sickness phase was behind you already, 'and so is the pup.'
'Maybe,' Sihtric mumbled, a little embarrassed how quickly he became overprotective of you.
'I love you for being so caring,' you smiled and cupped his cheeks, 'but let me do my thing, okay? I can cook perfectly fine. Besides, you need to rest and take care of yourself too,' you said and kissed his lips.
'Okay,' Sihtric sighed and pulled you in for another kiss, 'but as soon as you need help, you will tell me.'
'I will,' you promised.
Sihtric smiled and got up. He walked over to the cooking pot and, as if the conversation you just had never happened, he finished making dinner, and he refused your help. 
After you both finished your food, Sihtric cleaned everything up while you were basically forced to go and lay down on the bed. When he was done, Sihtric joined you, pulling the warm furs over the both of you and he wrapped his arms around you. His warm, rough hand immediately moved up under your thin tunic to rest on your belly, while he pressed soft kisses to your cheek.
'I can't wait to meet our pup,' he whispered and softly hummed in your ear.
'Me neither,' you smiled, and dozed off in his arms.
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When your bump finally became visible after some time, Sihtric had been ecstatic to tell his friends about your pregnancy, and he often went to Gisela, behind your back, to ask her what else he could do to help you out at home. Sihtric helped make dinner every day, he made sure you ate and drank enough too, he washed the clothes in the river, and he cleaned around your little home. He basically did everything you usually did. And as soon as you'd yawn or even as much as sighed, Sihtric ushered you to lay down.
At first you almost got annoyed with him, as you were perfectly capable of still doing a lot of things on your own. But you knew Sihtric meant well, and if he had his mind set on something, there was no stopping him. You also knew you just had to let him have this moment, it was his way of preparing for fatherhood too. And as your belly grew bigger, you became more appreciative of everything he did, as you started to struggle with several tasks.
Every night when you and Sihtric laid in bed, not yet wanting to sleep, and Sihtric sat up for hours, caressing your baby bump and telling whole stories to the pup you carried. It was also a nice way for you to hear a lot of stories about battle and his travels you hadn't heard before. But you were pretty sure Sihtric made himself look better in some of his stories than he really had been, but that was Sihtric too; always wanting to impress you, even if you saw right through it. And you loved him for it. 
When Sihtric wasn't talking to your belly, he'd ramble on to you about all the things he couldn't wait to do once the child was old enough.
'Calm down, love,' you smiled and brushed your fingers through his short, dark hair, 'the pup isn't here yet. Don't look too far ahead, we have to enjoy each day. And Gisela said they grow up faster than you can blink.'
'I know,' Sihtric smiled, realising he had rambled without really thinking, as usual, 'I just can't wait.'
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Wherever you were, when you and Sihtric were together, he constantly had his hands on you. It was a mixture of being over protective and him simply thinking you were absolutely breathtaking while carrying his pup, as you were glowing. And whenever Sihtric looked at you, he had a beaming smile on his face. He took any excuse to pull you close, and his favourite thing to do was sneaking up behind you, moving his arms under yours, around your waist, and slowly rubbing his hands up and down your belly. Sihtric was always affectionate, but it became more and more after when you were pregnant, and you enjoyed it. You secretly even hoped that the babe would stay in your belly a little longer, just so you could enjoy your husband's attention that little longer too.
Your due date was approaching. You knew it, you could feel it. Sihtric was anxious but tried to remain calm, even though he simply couldn't wait anymore. And after a long, warm day, you got in bed while Sihtric cleaned up the little kitchen. And when he joined you in bed a little later, he thought you were sleeping already.
You felt Sihtric's fingers slowly tracing over your belly, a comforting and loving feeling. You smiled, but Sihtric didn't see it, and he started to hum, which slowly turned into a soft singing, something you hadn't heard him do before. You decided not to disturb him and kept quiet. At first you thought Sihtric was drunk, but then you figured he was singing in his native tongue. Not wanting him to know you heard him, you desperately tried to fight your tears as he did his thing. You weren't sure if your hormones made you emotional, or just the fact that Sihtric was the sweetest man you had ever met, and you felt so blessed to call him your husband. And so you listened to Sihtric's soft, low voice as he carried an unfamiliar tune while he rested his forehead onto your bump.
'I den lille rede var et lille æg, aldrig så jeg så dejligt et æg.' In the little nest there was a little egg, I never saw so lovely an egg.
'Af det lille æg der kom en lille fugl, aldrig så jeg så dejlig en fugl.' From the little egg there came a little bird, I never saw so lovely a bird.
'På den lille fugl der sad en lille fjer, aldrig så jeg så dejlig en fjer.' On the little bird there sat a little feather, I never saw so lovely a feather.
'Af den lille fjer der blev en lille pude.' From the little feather there came a little pillow.
'På den lille pude lå en lille dreng, aldrig så jeg så dejlig en dreng.' On the little pillow there was a little boy, I never saw so lovely a boy.
Sihtric stopped singing and you heard him chuckle softly.
'What am I singing,' Sihtric whispered to the pup, 'I don't even know if you are a boy or a girl,' he chuckled again, 'and it doesn't matter either,' he continued, 'I promise I will protect you with my life, little pup.' Sihtric kissed your bump and whispered, 'the same way I promised to protect your mother with my life,' he paused, taking a deep breath, 'and I don't know what I did to be blessed with such a beautiful and sweet wife. To be blessed with a woman like her who wanted to marry me and now carry you,' Sihtric nuzzled your belly, 'I never thought I could love someone as much as I love her, and I promise you will feel loved too.'
Sihtric was quiet for a moment. 'Sweet dreams,' he whispered, then kissed your belly again.
You felt him move up and he laid down next to you, while your cheeks were wet with tears. Sihtric kissed your forehead, whispered a soft 'I love you,' and cuddled up to you. Never knowing you had been awake the entire time, or that you had silently wept because your heart was so full of love.
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And when your baby was finally born, and it turned out to be a boy, Sihtric had announced it screaming his head off, waking the entire village as he ran around. 
And you only barely recovered from giving birth, or Sihtric already looked at you, with loving eyes, and he said, 'We should have at least one more.'
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taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx
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verus-veritas · 9 months
Text
Out of the Woods
Another hot story by @bodyswapper that seemed to have been removed recently. Once again I couldn’t help myself and remade the story, with my own twists and ending! Also, featuring the incredibly hot “Seattle Dad”, which you should definitely check out!
My best friend Chris and his family were preparing for their two-weeks getaway at the lake cabin. His parents said that I would not be able to come so Chris and I were bummed. However, a day before the trip Chris came up with an idea to get me to tag along. When Chris presented me with using an ancient body swap spell he had stumbled upon I was skeptical at first, but I eventually decided to agree. I had secretly always found his father quite handsome, so if it actually worked it would be very interesting being in his Dad's burly mature body.
The day arrived, and Chris and his father headed out to the cabin first. I was so nervous and waited for the text for Chris to let me know he was going to use the spell. I got a notification from Chris and locked myself in my room to get ready. I was waiting for something to happen and instantly a surge of energy rippled me, and my soul jolted forward.
I finally snapped to and felt my body lurch upright while taking a lot of force to lift myself up. I was now inhabiting the body of Chris's handsome father. I locked eyes with Chris through my new deeper blue eyes.
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"Whoa, this is insane," Chris exclaimed, staring at me, who now occupied his father's bigger, flabbier, and hairy body. "What's it like? How does it feel being in my dad's body?"
I was trying to find my bearings, and blinked a few times before responding. "It's...different, man" I paused, noticing the gravelyness of my voice. "This body feels more experienced, like it has seen a lot in life. And the hair? Well' I can feel the breeze on the stubble" I chuckled, rubbing my thick hands across my sweaty forehead.
We took a moment to absorb the nature of their situation before cracking open a few drinks and settling into the comforts of the lake cabin. The initial shock transformed into laughter and camaraderie as I began to relax in my new frame.
Hours passed, filled with laughter, shared stories, and the simple joy of being together. Chris kept commenting that my mannerisms became more similar to his fathers, and I was feeling it as well. It just felt so damn comfortable being in his father's body and leaning into that persona.
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However, our enjoyment came to an abrupt halt when Chris's Dad's phone rang. We shared a scared glance, and I was feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness. I picked up the phone, answering it in Chris's Dad's serious tone, and realized it was Chris's Mom, or rather my ex-wife. At that moment, I had to embody the role of Chris's father, pretending to be Chris's Dad. To my surprise, I found himself slipping into the role effortlessly, and putting on a show. I even began to feel the emotion of Chris's Dad as I talked and said I miss you to his little sisters, or my daughters. They lived with their mom, so the summer getaway was the only opportunity for us to meet, Chris had explained earlier.
I hung up the phone and had the largest smile on my face. I kept rubbing my beard, enjoying the scruffiness and coarseness of it. "I did it, man! I pulled it off! Your mom didn't suspect a thing. I never knew I had it in me."
Chris beamed back, impressed by my performance. "Who knew you were gonna be able to pull it off this well,” Chris chuckled. “It's like you've been my dad all along.” When he said that my cock grew firm, as I truly began to feel like I am his father. Now, I was getting excited for the rest of the family to come up and see how well I could keep up with the charade of being Chris's father.
I was also dying to find a time to sneak off to the bathroom to feel down my new larger flesh, but I didn't want to raise suspicion to Chris on what I was doing. I was gonna wait till we went to bed and then explore his Father's form a little more closely.
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- Several Days Later -
It had been a few days since Chris used the spell to swap me into his Dad’s body. At first, it was really strange walking around in this much older, taller, and heavier body, but I quickly got the gist of it. Although I was still nervous when the rest of the family came and I had to pretend to be Chris’s father. There were some obvious fumbling and embarrassing moments at first, but by the end of the evening no one seemed to mind or took notice. It was almost like I had somehow gone a quick-course on how to truly embody his father. It certainly helped that Chris helped me out here and there, as he gave me small hints and showed me recordings of how his dad normally acted whenever we were alone.
I also noticed that every day that passed I seemed to lean more and more into the persona of Chris’s Dad. I even developed his gait, unconsciously let out his hearty chuckles, and found myself more interested in fishing. At some points even Chris seemed unable to differentiate me from his father, as evident by one morning when I sat in the kitchen drinking my morning coffee and reading the newspaper when Chris came down and started eating his breakfast completely ignoring me.
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When I asked him what we were doing today, he answered me with the same snappy attitude he always gave his dad for annoying him. It took a few minutes of me staring at him amusingly before I saw the panic in his eyes as he realized what he had done. “Thank god it’s only a few more days…” He had quickly tried to recover himself, though I could tell there was some slight worry left in his voice.
It wasn’t until the first evening when everyone had gone to sleep in their separate bedrooms that I fully had a chance to explore my new self. I was so thankful that Chris’s parents had divorced a few years back and slept in separate rooms, which gave me the master bedroom all to myself.
It was strange… yet exhilarating as I stood in front of the full-body mirror and inspected the reflection of Chris’s Father.
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I started exploring his weary yet handsome face, his thick beefy arms, and his hairy chest, as some quiet moans escaped my lips. I found myself running his big hands across the pelt on his chest, brushing past the bush on his cheeks, and ending my journey on the thin layer of hair on his head. The sight of Chris’s shirtless furry dad being so mesmerized by himself somehow made me incredibly hard, so I quickly unbuckled the belt and let the worn jeans slip onto the floor. I gasped out in delightful shock as the thick and massive cock bounced up and down, while a few drops of precum had already begun to leak out.
Something changed within me at that moment, something deep inside telling me this was all I ever wanted. I knew then - I was in love with this body, and the act of embodying Chris’s Father.
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I didn’t sleep one second that night, as I found myself on the king-sized bed exploring, fondling, and worshiping the hairy, big body that belonged to Chris’s father. I had to sit out the hunting trip the morning after because of severe back pain, which was most likely caused by all the arching from the several orgasms I had during the night…
Every single night before sleep I would find myself standing in front of the bedroom mirror, slowly take off all my clothes, and stare excitedly at the burly dad bod. I would slowly caress the thick muscles, squeeze the fat around the stomach, and grip the hardened cock firmly. The jerking always began slow and passionately, but ended in a fierce frenzy of sweat, spit, and cum. Every single time was just as hot, different, and intoxicating. It was almost as if I was getting an addiction - of being Chris’s Dad.
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One evening as I stood there in front of the mirror and breathed in a day’s worth of musk this body had produced, when a memory suddenly came to me, of a few words that Chris had said the first day I had swapped with his father: “It's like you've been my dad all along…”
Those words echoed within me, within my heart… and within my very soul. I began to imagine what my whole life would have been like if I was born in this body; the childhood I had, the friends I made, even the partners I went through. I then began to imagine what life would be like from now on if I somehow kept this body; the job I had to learn, the family I would have to love, and the wild nights I would experience. I don’t know what came over me at that point, as I leaned against the reflective surface of the mirror and gave my reflection a few kisses while staring intensely into the eyes of Chris’s naked drooling dad.
“What if I have been you all along… What if I was always meant to be you… What if being you for the rest of my life is all I ever wanted…” I murmured to myself in a low and husky voice, right before I exploded and coated the entire mirror with Chris’s Dad’s sticky semen. I quickly cleaned it up, with my tongue.
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An opportunity came one day when Chris and most of the family had to go on a supply run. As soon as they were gone I made my way inside my friend’s messy room and began rummaging around. It took a few minutes before I managed to find the notebook which he had scribbled the ancient body swap spell in. It detailed a sacred ritual to be performed as well as an incantation of foreign language. I could only understand a bit of it, but from what I understood Chris’s Dad would think and act exactly as me during the swap, which relieved some of my worries over what I thought of doing next. At first I had thought of just ripping the page out and throwing it away, but that would make Chris suspicious. Instead, I took an eraser and erased three of the words off the incantation, before rewriting some similar-looking words in their stead. Chris was always impressed at how well I could copy his hand-writing. Of course, I also scribbled the correct words of the incantation down on another paper, just in case. As I left the notebook and Chris’s room in the exact state as when I came in, I was already leaking profusely in my pants.
With the two-week getaway soon coming to an end, Chris began discussing how he would swap me and his father back into our rightful bodies. He decided he would do it the night before they left, as his dad and I slept. Chris explained that the ancient body swap spell had to be performed correctly and precisely, as even the smallest error could ruin the process and cause unimaginable consequences. Such as us being stuck as bodiless spirits or me somehow being stuck as his Dad for good…
- THE Night -
It was a quarter before midnight on the night before we would leave. I had just taken a long hot shower and scrubbed my big hairy body clean from the filth of the day. Staring back at me in the bathroom mirror was the dripping wet reflection of Chris’s Father sensually running his hands through the pelt of fur on his chest. This was it, the moment of truth. I had to decide if I was really going through with this. I had no idea what would come, nor the consequences that would follow from messing with Chris’s spell. All I knew was that I wanted to stay this way; to keep this incredibly hairy and sexy body all to myself and to continue playing the role of Chris’s Father… possibly forever.
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Determined, I picked up the piece of paper from the notebook a few days prior and scrunched it up into a ball. With a long deep breath I dropped it into the toilet and flushed it down. Its scribbled content and possibly my only way of returning back to my old life and body, forever gone.
Just as discussed with Chris earlier, I walked into the bedroom and laid my big heavy body down on the bed. I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep, but my mind was racing and my heart was pounding out of my hairy chest. I was anxious, scared, and excited, all at the same time, as I watched the bedroom clock strike midnight. At first nothing happened, so I gave off a breath of relief.
However, soon enough a strange sensation coursed through me. It was as if Chris’s Dad’s entire body began glowing and everything slowed down. My senses dulled, my limbs became numb, and I felt as if a big unending void opened up within me. An eerie blue-ish smoke began emerging from my hairy chest and rose up towards the roof. I simply watched on in both horror and fascination as the wispy smoke quickly shifted and transformed into the shape of my old self. As if carried away by some higher calling, the smoke phased through the roof and disappeared… leaving me laying there on the bed in complete bewilderment.
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The void within me felt even larger now, as if my whole being was empty and without reason. My thoughts went to the smokey shape that had resembled my former self, but for some reason it felt bizarrely foreign, as if I no longer recognized it as my own. I tried to think of my own name, my old life, and my former body, but it all felt so distant. It was a feeling of grasping at something which no longer existed; a life and an identity no longer my own. Somehow the botched spell had drained me of my sense of self, but left my mind and consciousness still attached to Chris’s father’s burly body!
I barely had time to finish my thoughts when some red-ish smoke suddenly emerged from the roof. I immediately recognized the wispy form being in the shape of Chris’s Dad. His big hairy sleeping body with its bearded tranquil face slowly descending towards me, as if attracted to the flesh I currently inhabited. I could’ve tried to move out of the way, I could’ve resisted against it entering me… but instead I opened my arms and embraced it welcomingly. When the wisp of smoke finally entered me, yet another strange sensation washed over me. The void within me was suddenly filled and I felt warm and complete again. I felt as if I was home, as if everything was right in the world. The name of Chris’s Dad echoed within my mind repeatedly: “Hank Warrens… Hank Warrens… Hank Warrens…”. The name felt so suited for me, so comfortable, almost as if I had always been called by that name. I realized then that I had fully absorbed Chris’s father’s sense of self. His name, his identity, his whole being… now belonged to me whether I wanted it or not! No matter how you looked at it, I was truly Chris's Dad, Hank Warrens now!
The sound of rustling was heard from the master bedroom door, and as I peered over I briefly saw the shape of Chris running off. He had decided to check in on me to see if the spell had properly worked, to make sure that we had returned to our own bodies. Which meant Chris most likely witnessed the moment his dad’s smokey form reunited with its burly body, under the assumption that it was the reversal process of the body swap. As far as he would know, the spell went off without a hitch and his father was back in his rightful body. That I, Hank Warrens, was back in my rightful, big, hairy, and sexy dad body…
As soon as the sound of Chris’s footsteps in the hallway quieted down, I immediately looked down at the incredible body laid out in front of me.
The hairy chest, the thick muscles, and the girthy member, they were all mine now. To touch, to squeeze, to taste, whenever and wherever I desired. Not to mention that wonderfully musty scent that oozed from my hairy armpits from the bed underneath. All these sensations and sights felt so familiar to me now, as if they had been mine all along. “It’s really like I’ve been you all along, Hank…”
I have no idea what the future holds for me now as Chris’s father, nor how I’ll deal with the situation if I’m ever found out by others… but I’m beyond excited to be dealing with it as the incredibly hairy and thick daddy Hank Warrens.
Well, maybe not as excited as my incredibly girthy and rock-hard cock right now, which is desperately yearning for my firm touch. Let's just hope I won't be too tired for the car trip home tomorrow… otherwise I'll just have to stay another day here in the cabin with my son Chris…
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neonghostlights · 3 months
Text
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A/N: I think the next chapter is the end of their story (:
Warnings: Death (reader is a ghost), loneliness (both reader and Eddie are insanely lonely), heartbreak, description on how reader died, illness (18+ only, minors DNI)
Series Masterlist
The Shortcut Chapter Three: The Talk
Eddie found you sitting against your headstone like you were waiting for him.
He waited until the moon was full and high in the sky to come back since he knew that he wouldn’t be able to see you without the magic in the air that the moon provided him.
He still didn’t really understand it, but if he thought too much about it it made his head ache with racing thoughts.
You offered him a small, apologetic smile as he approached. He sat beside you, about a foot between you.
The ground was cold and he shivered.
“How are you?” You asked, speaking first.
“I’m fine. Things are tough right now at home but it’s okay,” Eddie spoke honestly.
“Would you like to talk about it?” You asked him, genuine curiosity in your tone.
“I graduated high school this past spring. It took me three tries and I finally did it and I thought after I did that my life would magically get better and it just…hasn’t.”
“How hasn’t it gotten better?”
Eddie let out a deep breath. “I don’t know. I don’t have a real job. I sell…illegal things to make money. I can’t go to college because I don’t have the money and I didn’t have the grades to get in. My friends are doing all these crazy cool things and I’m just stuck. I haven’t seen any of my friends in weeks. I wanted to leave this town and make music but I have no money and my uncle needs help at home,” Eddie blurted out, listing off all of the things in his life that had been wrong.
You were quiet for a beat before you spoke again.
“Things could be worst. You could be dead.”
Eddie froze, staring at you for a moment and feeling like an asshole for being insensitive.
You let out a loud laugh, head leaning back with the force of it coming out.
The sound of it made Eddie laugh too.
“I’m sorry,” you admitted once your laughter died down. “For getting upset the last time you were here. I hadn’t realized so much time had passed and it had been so long since anyone bothered to visit me. It just made me think that’s all.”
“Can I ask you something?” Eddie was hesitant, worried that you would push him away again but he was dying to know. “What happened? How did you….you know?”
“How did I die?” You sighed, looking at the ground before you. “I was engaged to a nice boy that grew up down the street from us. He had a nice job, had gone to school, made good money. That was so important to my mother that he could support me. I was infatuated,” you said with a smile, staring off dreamily.
“I thought everything was going so well. I was working in the hospital as an orderly. I think that’s where I first started to get sick, and within a day I was in the hospital bed as a patient. I’m still not sure what it was. Possibly influenza, there was an outbreak on the unit I was working on.”
“After it happened, I found myself wandering here. It took me a moment to realize the grave I was standing in front of was my own. My mother and sister visited for a while before they stopped.”
“What about your fiancé?” Eddie asked.
You gave him a sad smile. “I’ve seen him visit twice. The second time he had a wedding band on and he was saying goodbye.”
“I’m so sorry.”
You put a hand up. “Save your apologies. It makes no difference now.”
Eddie wanted to change the subject. “Where do you go when you’re not here?”
“I’m still here…or there. Sometimes I watch over my grave. I did that a lot in the beginning. Sometimes I am in between.”
It didn’t make sense to Eddie but he didn’t want to push it.
“Eddie, I hope things get better for you,” you said with a little smile.
“Why does this feel like a goodbye?” Eddie asked, head spinning by the change in direction of the conversation.
He looked forward to every meeting with you. You were the little light in his life at the moment.
“It can’t be safe for you to come here at night.”
“No one messes with me. I promise,” Eddie lied through his teeth.
You gave him a look like you didn’t believe him but didn’t push him.
“Yeah, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” Eddie said, lightening to mood.
There were chills on his skin as he heard your laugh carry into the night.
He stayed with you till morning, watching you disappear into the morning light.
He missed you the second you were gone and was already counting the days until he could see you again.
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milaisreading · 7 months
Note
what if crossdresser! reader got her period while in blue lock!! 😱
Maybe either during first selection or time around pre U-20 match??
🌱🩷: Heavy projection here with my own period. Thanks for the request 🩷
Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.
⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️
Masterlist to this series
Karasu prides himself as someone who is very observant and keen about his surroundings, so when he saw his roommate, and teammate, curled up in her bed with a pained look on her face, he knew something must have happened.
The morning had started off as any other, (Y/n) had woken up first and took a shower while Karasu was trying to wake himself up, and after that, he did his morning routine. The duo went to eat breakfast after that, and (Y/n) decided to join (got dragged to) Yukimiya, Otoya, and Karasu's table. Neither of the 3 boys noticed at that time that something was off with (Y/n), neither noticed the slight frown on her face, the wincing when she would sneeze, or how she would clutch her stomach at some points.
Alarm bells only started to ring in the trio as (Y/n) declined the offer of practicing with them and even refused to eat some of the food Yukimiya offered her. The boys decided to say nothing back then, thinking it was just an off day.
"Everyone has those." Otoya tried to reason as the trio watched (Y/n) walk out of the dining hall and to look for Anri.
"Wonder why he needs to talk with Teieri-san. He barely seeks her or even Ego-san out." Karasu narrowed his eyes, but decided not to say anything for now. For the rest of the day the trio just practiced and would give vague answers to anyone who would ask about (Y/n) or where she was.
Karasu did think he was at ease when he returned to his room, only to go into full blown panic when he saw (Y/n) om her bed, curled up, and a few tears sliding down her face.
"What happened?! Did someone say something to you?!" Karasu asked, running up to her bed.
"W-what? No... it's nothing, I am just-" She groaned and immediately jumped up, running into the bathroom and locking it right after. Karasu watched in panic as it all happened, and he grew even more anxious as he heard (Y/n) throwing up. Wasting no time, the boy ran out of the room to look for Yukimiya and Otoya.
'Maybe they could help!' He thought as he looked for their room.
So, in short, that's what got Karasu and the other two in this position. Watching as their teammate was curled up on her bed and ignoring the rest.
"I know what might help!" Otoya suddenly exclaimed as the other two looked at him in suspicion.
"And that would be?" Yukimiya raised an eyebrow.
"Cuddling! Come here, (Y/n)-"
"No!" Karasu and Yukimiya glared at Otoya, who pouted as the two jumped between the bed and him.
"Can you three keep it quiet, please?" (Y/n) questioned as she put the covers over her head, causing the trio to look at her in sympathy.
"Are you doing ok? Do you need something? Food?" Karasu started.
"Medicine? Do you want me to bring you one of my pillows?" Yukimiya added in.
"My love?-"
"Otoya, shut up!" The two glared, then looked back at (Y/n).
"I just don't feel well right now. Don't worry too much." She winced again. The three boys watched her silently for a moment, then jumped up as (Y/n) got out of the bed and ran to the bathroom again. Yukimiya and Karasu quickly ran after her, only to witness their teammate throwing up again.
"Otoya! Get Ego-san or Teieri-san!" Karasu yelled as he went over to her, and Yukimiya ran out to get some water bottles.
"Teieri-san, (Y/n) is dying!"
"Can you stop being dramatic?!" Karasu yelled as Otoya ran out, then went back to holding (Y/n)'s hair back.
'I hate periods...' She thought.
Anri sweat dropped as Otoya explained the situation to her, while Ego held back a laughter.
"Why are you laughing?! Someone is dying!" Otoya yelled at Ego as Anri tried to calm him down.
"Don't worry, Otoya. (Y/n) is fine, just a little... sick. I will be right there with the medicine."
"You already know what's going on?" Otoya asked the woman, who simply nodded her head.
"Yeah, (Y/n) already came to me this morning to tell us why he can't practice tomorrow."
After a few days, (Y/n) finally recovered from her period crambs and was able to play normally again... or as far as she could.
"Karasu, why are you staring at me?" She wondered, a little unnerved at his stare.
'Did he figure out I am a girl?!'
"Just making sure you don't get injured." The boy said, moving a little closer to her form.
"What? From what will I be injured?"
"Hey, (Y/n), how are you doing today?" Otoya asked as him and Yukimiya approached the duo.
"I am fine. Still a little nauseous, but fine-"
"Well, that's a perfect call for you to sit down and have some water." Yukimiya interrupted her, dragging her to the nearby bench.
"What? No, I am fine-"
"We can't have you dying like a few days ago. Just sit down and relax." Otoya interrupted her as Karasu went to get a water bottle.
"Dying?!" She questioned.
"Hush! Too much stress won't be good for you." (Y/n) blinked a few times as question marks surrounded her head.
'Why do they think I am dying?'
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asimpwithfreetime · 1 year
Note
yandere neteyam pursuing na'vi reader. she resists at first because he comes on too rough but she eventually falls in love and they have a family.
love your work and thank you for more yandere neteyam content, such a struggle to find 🥰🥰
Thank you so much! 💜 Sounds good.
Sweetheart, you are mine and you know it (Yandere! Neteyam x Fem! Reader)
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Summary: The new Olo’eyktan, Neteyam, at the peer age of 20 has yet to find his mate. The only woman who he is interested in, Y/n, doesnt want him. The only thing is that he doesn’t take no for an answer.
Warnings: yandere behavior, obsessive Neteyam, stalking, Neteyam being a little bit cocky, manipulative Neteyam + threatening
This hasn’t been proofread yet
[ 3rd Person POV ]
Y/n was born Omatikaya. She grew from an energetic and talkative Na’vi child to a stunning and calmer Na’vi woman. Adulthood had made her beautify stand out.
Every young man of the omatikaya clan had at least thought once about mating with her, even Lo’ak. But they knew that the Olo’eyktan, Neteyam, had been courting her for quite a time now. She had always turned him down, nonetheless. But he had never stopped trying.
Men knew better than to try to get between those two. They knew what Neteyam was able to do, not only he was the Olo’eyktan but one of the best warriors and if during the war against humans in Metkayina territory he could kill various Na’vi adults at the age of 15, they didn’t wanna know what he could do now at the age of 20.
“But pleaseeee” people rolled their eyes at Neteyam’s pleas, anyone could hear them. It was part of his new plan. Instead of pursuing her stalking (since it didn’t go as planned) he would just put social pressure and manipulation onto her. Sooner or later she would say yes, wouldn’t she?
“Neteyam, I am not interested in you” she responded for the hundredth time that day. “Why not? I am all you want and you know it” he smirked. “Ugh! Shut up!” She ended it there before going off to finish her chores.
Night fell and after the communal dinner Neteyam began with his courting again. “Listen, Y/n I am going to set things straight, I want to be your mate and you are obviously ignoring me” he made her follow him to a more secluded area. “But you are going to be mine, sweetheart” he cockily smiled.
Y/n looked at him bewildered. “Haven’t you guessed it? Everyone knows I am after you, no other male nor female will try to mate with you knowing that you have been chosen by me! Do you wanna dishonor your family by dying without a mate? You want to be ashamed of yourself for the rest of your life? Or are you going to choose the Olo’eyktan that has been after you for two fucking years” he roughly finished his speech, cornering her against Hometree.
“You will be mine sooner or later” he smiled at her, but his smile was dark, mysterious and dangerous. Y/n gulped down and looked at him in the eyes. “You will see that you love me” he smiled cheekily while walking away. Y/n sighed loudly once she was left alone.
After months and months of trying, Y/n finally mated him. Neteyam was so happy he felt he was in a dream. People were shocked when the news spread. Nobody would even know if he was able to win Y/n’s heart, guilt trip her or the burn out was so that she just accepted to never hear it again.
Years later, Y/n brought to the world their first born. It was a girl, Neteyam insisted in calling her Trudy as his father always had talked about her with him. Y/n accepted. Trudy was born as the first born of the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya and she would be the Tsa’hìk in the future.
She was treated nicely with a calm and collected mom and an overprotective dad. She always asked the story of how they fell in love and such and Y/n could only respond with a sigh before giving her a sweet smile and saying “he never accepts “no” as an answer”. Trudy would laugh about it, her innocent and naïve kid brain not understanding the undertone of her mother. “I tried to tell him no and shoo him away, but to no use”.
“You are mine and you know it, sweetheart” Neteyam laughed while hugging his wife “you were mine the second I laid my eyes on you”.
“And now we have a small princess I’ll take care of” he then picked his daughter up. “Nothing and no one will come between my princesses and me”.
Avatar Taglist: @amerieee @simp-erformarvelwomen
Yandere Avatar Taglist <3: @jkeluv @penquinsqge
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pandorasfavorite · 28 days
Note
Saw your post abt being idealess and I am trying to brainstorm for you lol
Okay so first thought, hear me out, a bratty sub dominik x reader (smut ofc) or one where he finds out how much the reader likes him speaking Spanish
Or a story where dom and reader are childhood friends and decide to 🍃 together and one of the confesses (fluff)
I've got a few more ideas but idk if you like these so far or not lol
Love you 💕💕💕
Resuscitate
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AN: I love you. I hope you don't mind but I'm going to try and use this opportunity to explore Dominik's point of view. (Please don't kill me, I swear if it is not popular I will never do this again). I just whipped this up yo....kinda impressing myself
Dominik's expectations for tonight were much different than yours. He always felt so drawn to you, and that feeling only grew as you both grew up together. Of course, as children Dominik wasn't in love with you; he didn't even really know what that was. But when he started to understand the concept, it took a short time to find out that's exactly how he felt about you.
For the past few years, Dominik felt absolute calm with you, anytime you made a presence he felt contained, relaxed, and most of all trapped. Trapped by your essence, trapped by the look in your eyes, trapped by the wit in your voice, and his favorite trapped by the way you yelled his name each time you saw him.
"DOMINIK!", you screech and sprint into his arms; acting as if you hadn't seen him in years. Dominik would be taken aback by your excitement to see him, eachtime it happened. And his heart would regularly race, so much so that he once had to step away and remind himself that he was not dying. You gave him a grin and pulled him along with you everywhere you went. Dominik had no complaints when it came to following you, he'd go to the ends of the earth if it meant being by your side.
Now that you both are 25 with too much time on your hands, you took it as your personal responsibility to be the red devil on Dominik's shoulder. He sat with you on the dingy couch you had for years now in the center of your small living room. He felt so comfortable in the familiar area, but sitting next to you with his leg pressed to yours was all he could think about. The moment you both sat down, your mischievous grin rose up and you reached into a drawer and pulled out a tin.
Dominik looked at you with suspicion, but he felt settled being beside you, as you felt being beside him. "What you up to Hermosa?", Dominik asked and moved his head into your space to look at your moving hands. He had been calling you Hermosa from the ripe age of 13, he heard it from his dad at first, and it seemed to apply to you perfectly. You open the tin and pull out the preroll, "Dom it's time", you say like it has been a weight on your chest. "Corazón...", he seems unsure. Dominik has never done this before, and he is 100% positive you have never done it either. He was less worried about the action and more worried about how it would make him act around you.
However, you looked at Dominik with pleading eyes; and without any words, you scathed by and convinced Dominik to smoke with you. "Ok", he drops his protective act and reaches for the lighter also in the tin. If he was going to do this, he would be the first to try it, to warn you, also it seemed more polite to light it for you. If Dominik is anything it is polite. He puts the preroll in his mouth and spares you a quick glance, you smile so cute that he is less nervous to do it. He lights up and takes a deep inhale; a really deep inhale. The smoke hits the back of his throat and the mild burn makes him cough it up.
You smack a hand over your mouth, stifling your laughs as Dominik hacks up a lung. After the initial pain of a gut-wrenching cough, the weed hits instantly. Considering he hasn't done it before it was easy for him to get high. The preroll is dangling from his fingers and you look at him with expectation. He jumps in realization and brings the preroll to your lips for you. You inhale much gentler than Dominik, but the thick smoke hits you just the same. Luckily for you, the coughing fit wasn't nearly as bad as Dominiks.
After another few less apprehensive hits, the high really set in. Dominik's eyes went low and glossy with a light hue of red. His goofy smile instantly graced his features and he turned his head to look at you quickly, though in his point of view, it was like slow motion. When Dominik looked at you his breathing came to a stuttering halt, he felt good; but you looked good. Truly perfect and the low eyes and that pretty smile would've brought him to his knees (if he wasn't on the couch). "How do you feel?", you say and somehow manage to lean closer to him as you speak.
Your words knock Dominik out of a haze and he has to inhale a breath before being able to talk to you. He breathes; his eyes staring into yours without care, he looks you over and answers, "I feel as good as you look". His eyes widen as soon as the words slip from his lips, he is about to speak but your giggle cuts him off. Your cheeks are a light tiny of pink and you put a hand on him as you laugh. If you were to look up 'What does a man in love look like?', a picture of Dominik staring at you with his lips parted in astonishment would pop up.
You sit up and your eyes go comically wide, "I want to do something" you declare and you somehow peel yourself from the couch. Of course Dominik got up just as you had. You both stand and look at each other without a clue of what to do and then you mutter a intrusive thought. "Hm?", Dominik asks you to repeat yourself in a small hum. You look up with those big glossy eyes, and his heart rate seems to beat back to life, "Give me a piggyback ride". Didn't have to tell him twice. He crouches down, "Get on then Hermosa".
You climb on his back and you lay your cheek on his shoulder when he stands up completely. "I like when you call me that", you mumbled against his shoulder, your arms barely hanging onto him. Yet you trust Dominik enough to know he would never let you fall. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much and so largely. He swallows and his mouth has gone dry; sure it was probably from the weed; but in his hazy state Dominik was convinced you have begun to affect him more physically than he anticipated. He walked into the kitchen with you slung on his back and his hands under your thighs keep you on him completely. He whispers that he is going to sit you down on the counter. Afterward, he pours a glass of water for you both to share, handing you the cup to get the first drink.
You moan in contempt as the cool liquid slides down your throat and you feel much better now that your mouth also isn't dry. Dominik eyes shoot to your lips at the sound that came from them. But he shook the thoughts from his head; he will not be that guy. You pull Dominik to you by the collar of his shirt (he curses under his breath at the proximity). "I really want some fucking chocolate", you say with wide eyes that are utmost serious. Dominik's eyebrows pull together in seriousness and he raids the cabinets for you. He finds a candy bar in the bottom cabinets and he pops up when he finds it; he smacks his head "ow". He says under his breath.
You jump off the counter and move to crouch down beside of him, your lips plant on his head before he can anticipate it. "There. Feel better?", you ask and snatch the candy bar from him. Dominik's mouth went dry again; this time, he thought he'd fall from the tingles that shot through his body. He nodded and his glazed-over eyes blinked at you twice. He watches you break off pieces of chocolate, he has the intense urge to pull you into his arms and kiss the chocolate off your lips. He thought, "god I'm in love".
Your head whips to him but Dominik doesn't acknowledge it as he slips a piece of chocolate into his mouth, "This is really good". He talked around the chocolate and then he finally looked up to your surprised look. He looked at you, just nearly as confused.
"Wait what?", you put the chocolate down.
"This chocolate is really good", he says again; rubbing the back of his neck.
"No Dominik what did you say before that- you said that you were..you know". His eyes fly the fuck open and his heart has surely fallen to the pit of his stomach. "What did I say?!", this was his worst fear. You waste no time repeating the words that were now inked into your mind, "You said, god, I'm in love". If his heart was in the pit of his stomach, his lungs were probably in the same spot. His breathing stops and his mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water. Now that you are looking at him, telling you the truth seems so much harder. The way you were staring at him, with a heartbroken look; he couldn't take it. "I'm sorry Corazón, I should've told you sooner", his glazed-over eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips without the intention. "Me?", you asked in utter surprise, he liked you back, after so many years, he was just in love with you as you were with him.
"Who else?", a breathless laugh escaped from my mouth. You gasp at the complete confession, you fall into him heavily; wrapping your arms around him and holding Dominik tight. "Me too", you say into his chest, Dominik heard it and he felt as if he was floating. He pushes you back to see your face but you stay close, "You too?", he asked just to confirm. You nod and tears begin to well in your eyes at the finality and long-awaited desire coming to life. He smiles and breaks into a quick laugh at his luck, he tilts your body down and gives you a long kiss, pulling back to attach to your lips again; over and over again until his lungs recicitate and until his heart gives out.
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tiniedemon · 1 year
Text
— ♡
granite
poly kenny mccormick & kyle broflovski
— ♡
sequel to ‘hometown’
inspired by ‘granite’ by sleep token
cw | nsfw, choking, a little painplay, some airplay, mild degradation
you were having such a lovely dream. the fluttering of kenny's tongue against your nether region was so sweet within the confines of your mind, kyle's hands gripping your breasts from behind a guilty pleasure. you were so close, on the brink of a sweet release, their named falling from your lips like a sinful prayer.
you were so close, your hand knotting in kenny's blonde mullet as your nails formed crescents in kyle's milky thighs. you were so close, high moans and whines pried from your throat by kenny's tongue. you were so close, back arching into kyle's flushed chest.
you were so close, and now you were awake, alone in your bed. there was an uncomfortable wetness between your legs, soaking through your panties and dampening your sweatpants. you sighed, opened your legs, and slid your hand into your pants. your underwear was already ruined. there wouldn't be a point in salvaging them.
no matter how hard you tried, kyle simply wasn't picking up the hint. he was the main person out of your throuple that you were worried about. you knew kenny would be more than happy to fill your needs should you ask, but you wanted kyle to be included of his own accord and not via peer pressure by your shared boyfriend.
kenny had told you story after story of kyle's passion in the bedroom, and you were dying to experience it yourself. kyle, according to kenny, was a selfish and rough partner. he took what he wanted, pleased himself, and worried about his partner once he'd gotten his fill. you were desperate to feel it for yourself, but no matter how many hints you dropped, or how many times you'd tried to initiate, it was like he wasn't interested.
if you were being completely honest, you were growing frustrated. you wanted nothing more than for kyle to use you the way kenny had said he would, and it was like nothing was happening.
you were brooding over this as you laid in bed with your boyfriends, one leg tossed over kyle's and the other thrown over kenny's. your legs were spread, clad in a pair of loose night shorts that could easily be pushed to the side, and no matter how handsy you'd gotten, kyle simply wasn't taking the hint. currently, your fingers ran feather-light across his bare chest directly beside your head. he'd shivered multiple times, and yet, his hand hadn't strayed from gently stroking your forearm and bicep.
"do i smell like fish, or something?" you blurted, turning your head to kyle. he jolted eyes wide on your face. kenny snorted from your other side, but a quick smack to his chest shut him up.
"what?" kyle sputtered, glancing between you and kenny.
"am i ugly? do i smell bad? do you hate that i sleep with my hair plopped?" you continued, eyes narrowed and lips pouted. kyle grew more confused with every question, looking to his other partner for help.
"y/n wants to know why we haven't fucked her yet," the blonde drawled, smirking lazily. the puzzle pieces seemed to click into place, kyle's face visibly lighting up in recognition, then falling in shame.
"sweetheart, you aren't ugly and you don't stink. i haven't tried anything because i didn't want to force anything on you. i've been waiting for you to make a move," he admitted with a sheepish grin. you rolled your eyes and looped an arm around the back of his neck, burying a hand in his hair and tugging gently.
"does this ring a bell?" you asked, then trailed a hand down to trace the waistband of his sweatpants. "or this?" then you pulled his earlobe between your teeth, tugging it as you pulled away. "how about that? you are the densest motherfucker i know, and that's saying something, because it took stan three years to realize it's not normal for butters to send him flowers 'as a bro.'"
kyle’s face was beet red, best described as embarrassed. kenny snickered from beside you, and this time, you let him. kyle deserved to be laughed at for his stupidity.
“i’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured, fingertips tracing the curve of your calve in his lap.
“i accept your apology. now that you know i’m desperate for your cock, how are you going to proceed?” you inquired with a suggestive waggle of your eyebrows. kenny hummed, his fingers running up the side of your thigh as he pressed a wet kiss to the side of your neck. you could feel your heartbeat between your legs, amplified by kyle’s hand gripping at your hip.
“that depends, sweetheart,” he whispered into your ear, teeth capturing the lobe and tugging. “is this your first time?”
“not in the slightest,” you breathed, eyes falling shut and fingers tugging at kyle’s hair. kenny kissed his way up the column of your throat, each gesture growing hotter and wetter than the last.
“how rough can we be?” the blonde whispered into your jaw, tongue dragging along the edge of it. you shivered in delight, an airy moan exiting your lips, legs withdrawing to squeeze together. you could hardly think around the ache in your core, every second without relief growing more unbearable.
“as rough as you can be,” you managed to whine. every touch of their lips and fingertips to your skin sent a shiver down your spine, your skin buzzing with anticipation. you nearly cried as the slightest bit of friction ran over your throbbing clit.
“legs open,” kyle ordered, voice harsh beside your ear. you nodded eagerly, dropping your legs to the side, eyes pleading as you gazed at your ginger boyfriend. his expression had changed completely, his eyes hard and demanding and his jaw squared. a smirk formed on his lips, one hand turning your head to face your other boyfriend as the other slid your shorts to the side and dipped into the wetness between your legs.
kenny was quick to take hold of your chin, pulling your lips into a messy, wet kiss as kyle’s fingertips trailed up and down your legs. you moaned against kenny’s mouth, gasping as the blonde’s hand gently encased your throat. he squeezed, a moan bubbling from your gut, his lips leaving yours. you chased his kiss, held back by his grip keeping your head in place.
“i’m gonna watch you fall apart,” he muttered. kyle chuckled from somewhere behind your head, his hair brushing your cheek as his teeth nipped at your collarbone and his middle two fingers circled your clit. you jolted, eyes rolling back, hands desperately clutching anything they could find. the stimulation was bordering painful, your climax approaching at an embarrassingly fast rate.
“i’m gonna cum,” you squeaked. kyle dragged his hand away, dampened fingertips tracing the vein on the inside of your thigh. tears formed in your eyes. the lack of action was more painful than the overstimulation, your core aching to be touched.
“please, please, please,” you begged, words a broken prayer falling from your swollen lips. you couldn’t seem to work any full sentences through your hazy mind, your focus entirely on the rough touches of your lovers.
“i can’t wait to fuck you senseless,” kyle groaned, his free hand palming over his dick. you could feel the motion against your thigh and it turned you on more than you’d like to admit.
“god, i wanna taste you,” kenny hummed, his blue eyes locked on yours as he took hold of kyle’s hand and dragged his tongue over your juices soaked into his fingers. his eyes rolled back as your taste hit his tongue, and you had to hold back the whine you nearly let out.
“be loud for us, sweetheart,” kyle murmured into your ear, prying his fingers from kenny’s mouth in favor of plunging them into your aching pussy. you let out the loudest moan yet, back arching off the bed, eyes rolling back. you could feel kyle’s erection twitch against your thigh, a grunt entering your ear canal as you nudged your bare skin against it.
“i don’t recommend you tease our kyle,” kenny mused, teeth grazing your jaw. “he’s quite the merciless dom.”
you learned this for yourself a few moments later when kyle’s palm came down on your thigh with a sharp smack. you squeaked, instinctively pulling away from him and further towards kenny, your back to your other boyfriend.
“exactly where i want you, princess,” kyle whispered in your ear, his hand groping your exposed ass. you shivered against kenny, his lips finding yours in a sensual kiss as kyle pried your head to the side and stained your neck with his lips. you were a moaning mess trapped between the two of them, your head pushed into a pillow as kyle attacked your neck and kenny groped your ass. you could hardly kiss kenny, your lips growing more slobbery with every second you struggled to kiss him through your incessant pleasured moan.
"i want you on your back," kyle hummed against the nape of your neck. "edge of the bed."
you were eager to comply, all bodies rearranging to accomodate the position change. you lay with your head on the edge of the bed, kyle standing over you, his face darkened and smirking. he slid his hands into your armpits, tugging you far enough for your head to hang off the bed.
his erect cock hung in your face, twitching in the open air, the tip flushed a dark pink. kyle wasn't small by any means, being a skinny and lanky man. he was very well endowed, long enough to worry you and girthy enough to make your jaw hurt thinking of how far you'd have to open it. he kept the base well trimmed, orange stubble growing against pasty skin, his rather hefty balls cleanly shaven. your mouth watered.
he tapped the tip of his cock against your lips, your mouth opening automatically to grant him access. he smirked down at you, barely visible around his girthy dick stroking your tongue.
"kenny," kyle called, eyes shooting up to where you assumed your other lover was stationed. an alert hum was heard, before kyle gestured towards your hips. your breath hitched in your throat, heart racing and face burning. "you know what to do, right, pretty boy?"
you jumped at the feeling of cold fingers caressing your outer thighs, tracing the skin towards the heated center, pulling your legs apart. your shorts moved to the side, and a warm wetness touched your aching core. you felt the buzz of kenny's pleased moan against your pussy, his tongue slowly working its way from your perinium to your labia. a long, high pitched moan passed through your gaping lips, your eyes rolling back into your skull.
you could hardly stand to keep your legs open with kenny's tongue working its magic between them, kyle's cock sliding slowly into your mouth. you gagged as it touched the back of your throat, your body lurching into the air and your eyes filling with tears. he continued pushing it in, stalling as your nose touched the underside of his balls. you couldn't breathe, choking around the girthy length stretching your throat. kenny was still hard at work on your pussy, the combined oxygen deprivation and continuous stimulation of your clit bringing you closer to the edge with every moment that passed.
"you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth," kyle cooed, fingertips stroking your cheekbone, face blurred by the tears in your eyes. he moved his hips slowly out, and back in, your tongue struggling to flatten itself against his dick. kyle thrusted a few more times into your mouth before pulling out, stepping away. you could finally breathe, though each breath was a gasp or whimper with kenny's unrelenting movement against your sensitive clit. the muscles in your legs spasmed as your orgasm approached, moans growing louder and louder until everything stopped.
a broken whimper choked its way out of your mouth, eyes pleading as you gazed up at kyle. his hand was held midair, palm parallel to the wall, a smirk on his face as he stared at your tear stained face. it took you a moment to come back into your body, your broken, pleading sobs and whines reaching your ears. your body was limp as kyle slid his arms under your armpits and sat you upright on the bed, his chest touching your back as he slid in behind you. kenny grinned at you from between your legs, lips and goatee slick and shimmering in the low light of the tv.
"you sounded so pretty for me, angel," the blonde cooed, fingers tracing your folds before his form withdrew completely. you were crying, too fucked out already to stop, begging for any form of release you could find.
"how about this?" kyle murmured against your cheek, pressing a kiss there as he massaged your sides. "let's get you calmed down a little bit before we do anything else, okay?"
you were hesitant to nod, breaths shuddering as you dried the tears from your face. kenny tugged your shorts back into place, hand cupping the side of your face as he placed a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose.
"you did so wonderful, my love," he soothed, helping you to lay between the two of them. you were coming back down slowly, breath stabilizing and heart rate normalizing. you felt warm, trapped in the heat of the blankets over your body and your lovers holding you tight to them.
"thank you," you whispered in a croaky voice, throat sore from kyle's previous actions. the ginger hummed as he rubbed his chilled nose against your cheek, a frigid shiver running down your spine as a giggle swelled in your chest.
"you're welcome, love. i'm sorry for stopping like that," kenny hushed, his eyes soft as he gazed at you. you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then to kyle's, and linked your fingers with theirs.
"it's okay, kenny. i was getting a little too overwhelmed. i appreciate you guys for stopping when you did," you admitted sheepishly. kyle smoothed his hand over the top of your head, fingers soft against your hip.
"i could tell, sweetheart," he chuckled, running his fingers along the curve of your waist. "i didn't want you to end up unconscious."
"we will always look after you, even in the most heated moments, love. how are you feeling?" kenny spoke. you mulled over it for second. you felt completely fine, aside from the throbbing ache of your pussy.
"i feel like i want to try something with you guys, if that's okay," you whispered, cheeks red as you focused anywhere except their faces. kyle hummed his acknowledgment, always a man of very little words, and kenny voiced his encouragement. you gulped down the lump in your throat, fingers wrapped tightly around the hem of the duvet.
"i want to try double penetration," you spoke softly, rolling your lips between your teeth. the air was still for a moment, the few seconds it lasted feeling like an eternity. kyle's fingertips stilled against your side, kenny's breath audibly catching in his throat. you were embarrassed, to say the least.
"we can try it," kyle finally spoke. you felt like could breathe freely again, your heart gushing audibly in your chest. you felt relief come over you. you had no need to be embarrased based on the reaction kyle gavev you. kenny hummed in affirmation in front of you, his lips ghosting over the column of your abused throat.
kenny's fingers were rough against your hips as he pulled you on top of him, his lips and tongue wetting your collarbone, his hands bruising against your thighs. you softly moaned into his hair, your face burrowed in the sweet scent of his mullet as he left mark after mark on your chest and collarbone. you relished in the friction of your hips subtly grinding against his, sweet moans and groans passing through your lips.
kyle works behind you, a quiet shuffling accompanying your pleasured mewls as he slowly tugs kenny's shorts of him. kenny huffed against your skin, impatient, his nose crinkled when you glanced at him. you could feel kyle's fingers wrap around your hipbones, tightening, his hands tugging you back on kenny's lap. your nose touched kenny's, eyes locking and heart rate increasing. he wastes no time taking your lips in a gentle, passionate kiss.
you grinded your hips down, searching for any form of relief you could find. your clothes were growing increasingly restricting, the neckline of your oversized shirt practically suffocating you. your skin burned, relief flooding you as you slowly pried it up your torso. your lips left kenny's, a disgruntled noise sounding from his throat as he chased your e lips. once your shirt joined kyle's sweatpants on the floor, you could see kenny's smirk, his blue eyes filled with lust as he gazed at your chest. eager fingers helped you out of your shorts, then tugged you as close as physically possible, hand grabbing a handful of your ass.
"that's better, love," he cooed, voice soft as his fingers trailed down your spine. a quiet shuffle alerted you of kyle's presence in the room yet again, his fingertips gentle against the skin of your thighs, feathering over the surface of your tingling skin.
"are you okay, sweetheart?" kyle hushed, his lips peppering kisses against the backside of your hips, nose brushing the base of your spine. you gulped around the lump in your throat, only able to nod your affirmation in the heat of the moment. kyle's hands grasped your hips again, lifting them enough for kenny to guide himself into your entrance.
you sunk down slowly, a high whine trapped in your throat, your lip held safely between your teeth. kyle's hands on your hips slowly guided you to bottom out on kenny's thick cock, lifting long enough to deliver a sharp smack to your ass. your fingers smooth kenny's messy hair from his forehead, your forehead touching to his for a moment, before you wrap your hand around his hair and lift your hips, they came back down, your chest flattening against kenny's. he grabbed you by the chin, bringing you in for a sloppy, slobbery kiss that ignited a fire in your core.
his hips buck against you, matching your thrusts, the friction of your hips dropping repeatedly on his inadequate pleasure. a squeeze to kenny's thigh by your other boyfriend is a reminder to wait, his other hand stilling your hips at the base of kenny's cock. you let out a whine, desperately grinding your hips down on kenny's for any form of friction you could find.
the click of a cap opening sounded in the air, kyle's slick fingertip circling your asshole moments after. your breath hitched, forehead resting against kenny's, the male beneath you pulling you into a gentle kiss. your body stilled as kyle slowly pushed his finger past the tight ring of muscle, a high whine leaving your lips as every muscle in your body tensed. kyle massaged the globe of your ass with his other hand, peppering kisses across your shoulders.
"i need you to relax, little one. think you can do that for me?" he hummed. you nodded slowly, taking a deep breath, forcing your body to relax. his finger slipped in and out a little easier, your ass loosening around his digit. he slipped in another, pumping them in and out, stretching you around him. the uncomfortable edge turned to a sickly sweet pleasure, your hips grinding against his fingers and kenny’s cock for more friction, moans and whimpers falling repeatedly from your lips.
“please,” you whined, fingernails forming crescents in kenny’s shoulder, a groan leaving his lips with every tug of his hair. kyle’s fingers left you, your muscle fluttering to fill where his fingers had been scissoring you open, a desperate whimper sounding in your throat. you could feel the tip of his cock prodding at your asshole, barely sinking in, then pulling completely out.
“are you ready, sweetheart?” kyle hummed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. you were eager to nod, pulling kenny into a heated, desperate kiss, his hands finding your ass and spreading it for your ginger boyfriend.
“you’re so pretty,” kenny whispered as kyle slowly pushed his cock into your ass. your back arched into kyle, chest pressed firmly to kenny’s, airy moans fanning against his lusted face. “such a pretty little slut for us, isn’t she ky?”
“the prettiest,” kyle grunted, hand fisting in your hair and tugging your head to the side. he kissed you sloppily, bottoming out inside your ass. you could feel kenny’s legs shifting under you, bending at the knees and planting his feet firmly into the mattress. kyle lifted you by the hips, the friction so sweet it forced a loud moan from your lips. your head fell against the pillow behind kenny’s, fingers tugging at his hair, body buzzing in eager anticipation.
kyle began moving first, his hips snapping sharply back into you, the pace so fast it left you gasping. kenny followed soon after, his movements alternating with kyle’s, his hips just as harsh as kyle’s. you were left a moaning mess, chest rubbing against kenny’s as your body rocked with each hard thrust into you. every sound emerging from you was swallowed by the pillow beneath your head, muffled and nearly silenced.
“let me hear you sweetheart,” kyle grunted, grabbing you by a fistful of your hair, tugging your head back. tears rolled endlessly down your face, the pleasure becoming mind numbing with every passing second, your brain unable to form any true thoughts. you were entirely overtaken, spasming as kyle somehow fit a hand between your hips and kenny’s to rub harsh circles into your clit.
“please,” you practically screamed, your entire body tensing with your impending orgasm. you couldn’t think, merely chanting, “i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum,” like a broken prayer to the gods worshipping you. you felt the cord inside of you snap, your body shaking and tensing as your orgasm washed over you, mouth dropped open and eyes rolled back.
kenny and kyle were unrelenting, hands fondling every inch of your body, grunting and groaning, moaning their praises of you as they wrecked you. you prayed for them to finish, your body overstimulated and jolting, your eyes screwed shut and your head dropped back into the pillow.
“fuck, i’m so close,” kenny groaned, his thrusts becoming more erratic. you desperately clenched around the two of them, feeling kyle’s cock twitch inside of you as he pressed his chest into your back and pulled kenny into a hungry kiss. the sounds of their wet lips meshing was enough to send you over the edge again, your body shaking uncontrollably, moan after moan passed into kenny’s pillow.
“cum for me, prince,” kyle groaned into the kiss. that was all it took, kenny’s cock burying flush inside you, his seed releasing deep into your womb. kyle followed soon after, bottoming out as far as he could go, twitching as he came in your other hole. you relished in the feeling of being so full, oozing as both your boys pulled out of you.
“are you alright?” kenny asked you immediately, chest heaving and sweaty against your own. you gave a sluggish nod, barely lifting your head to smile weakly at one of your boyfriends. your other walked on his knees across the mattress to kneel beside you, his hand gentle against the side of your face.
“you did really well,” he murmured, peppering kisses all over your face. kenny embraced you tightly, one hand rubbing up and down your back as the other stroked the back of your head.
“i love both of you so much,” kenny whispered, a smile on his face. despite knowing kyle wouldn’t say it save for incredibly special moments, you knew he reciprocated.
“love you too,” you managed to mumble, kyle chuckling as he sunk into bed beside kenny. you pulled yourself off of kenny, arranging yourself between the two with shaking limbs. kyle took your front, his chest flush against yours as he tangled your legs together, and kenny curled around your back, his head rested against the side of yours. kyle pressed a kiss to his lips, then to yours, and grinned at the two of you.
“how was it?” the ginger murmured, thumb stroking against kenny’s cheekbone and lips pressed to your forehead.
“genuinely great. better than i pictured,” you responded with a light chuckle. kenny and kyle shared your sentiment, snuggling into your sore body. you could feel yourself fading out of consciousness, sleep hanging heavy over your head, your body limp against your lovers.
you fell asleep without another word, trapped in the arms of the loves of your life, and to the sound of keeping up with the kardashians playing in the background.
you’d just fucked your boyfriends for the first time watching keeping up with the kardashians. motherfucker.
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gretavangroupie · 8 months
Text
Vigilance (Chapter 21 Part 1)
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Word count: 15.3k
Pairings: Jake x Reader, Sam x Reader, Sam x OC, Jake x OC
Warnings: Alcohol, Cursing, Dramatic Themes. Angst Including: Talks of Infidelity, Toxic Themes, Arguing, Yelling, Extreme Portrayal of Sadness, Crying, Abandonment, Heartbreak, Talks of Illness, Extreme Illness, Fainting, Hospitalization, Hospital Procedures and Protocols, Mentions of IV, Talks of Death and Dying. Fluff.
This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.
HER POV
Why am I so hot? You awoke to the feeling of a warm arm draped over your body, a leg tangled between yours, and a sheen of sweat covering your skin. Your eyes opened and you found Jake completely wrapped around you. What’s happening?
You turn your head to see him resting on your pillow, his mouth slightly open as his eyes move back and forth beneath his lids. A soft breath left his lips, as you stared at him. The most beautiful human you’d ever seen. You weren't sure how you ended up here, wrapped up with him, but just for a moment you let yourself feel the rush of happiness flooding your brain. 
His hand rested on your shoulder, his calloused fingertips laying gently against your shirt. His shirt. The shirt he gave you years ago. You knew he remembered the other night, just by the way his eyes grew when he saw it. Was it intentional? No. But it gave you hope that somewhere deep down inside of him, there was still something there.
You let your fingers gently brush the strand of hair from across his face, tucking it behind his ear. His mouth twitched at the movement but you knew he would probably wake soon anyways. You were going to enjoy this moment, before he woke up and made you forget it ever happened.
Your hand traveled down his neck and over his torso, feeling his soft skin beneath your fingers, trying to commit the feeling to memory. You loved him. You’d never stop loving him, regardless of if he wanted that love or not. You let your hand settle on his stomach, as you rolled towards him, leaving you nose to nose. 
It took everything in you not to press your lips to his, you could almost feel them when you closed your eyes. But instead you just looked at him. Taking in the curve of his jaw, and the angle of his nose. The tiny scar on his eyebrow, and the freckle on his cheek. Little things you’d come to love, and knew held a permanent place in your memory. 
His foot brushed against yours under the blankets, and you tensed up knowing he was about to wake up. You held your breath as you watched his eyes flutter open, trying to adjust to the light in the room. His eyes opened wide as he took in his surroundings, taking note of where he was and where his hands were placed. His eyes met yours, full of emotion, as you felt his hand slide down your shoulder and over the curve of your hip.
He rolled to his back and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling as he stretched his legs out before going limp again. Your hand fell from his stomach as he rolled to his back, his skin still warm and dewey as he lowered the sheets down to his hips.
Neither of you said a word about it, instead just laying there soaking in the blissful feeling of being together under the sheets. He turned his head to look at you, and you peered up at him through your lashes, ready for the harsh blow of regret to leave his lips, but to your surprise it never came. He turned to grab his phone from the nightstand, and began to scroll through his notifications, as if it was any old regular morning. Like he didn’t cripple your emotions last night. What happened after you fell asleep?
You laid there watching him, and after a few minutes, you felt his foot slide up the side of your leg as he pulled the sheets the rest of the way off of him and rolled out of the bed. He walked over to his suitcase and grabbed a change of clothes before turning back around and catching your gaze. 
“What?” he asks.
You can’t help the smirk that graces your lips, “Nothing, nothing…” 
You could see the evidence of his morning wood through the thin black boxers sitting low on his hip bones. You swallowed back the shock that riddled your body, wishing more than anything for him to come back into the bed. He made his way to the bathroom, and shut the door, just as you rolled onto your back. What in the world?
You pull yourself from the bed and walk over to your suitcase, fishing out the clothes you wanted to wear for the day and gathering your toiletry bag. Jake emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, fully dressed but still very quiet. A nervous glance is exchanged between the two of you as you slide into the bathroom and start the shower. 
As you stood in front of the mirror brushing your teeth you heard the hotel room door shut. Opening the bathroom door the steam releases into the main room and a gush of cold air hits your wet hair. You look through the peephole, wondering where he went off to, only to be startled by the sound of his voice as he sat at the desk in the corner of the room. 
“Looking for someone?” he asks.
You throw your hand to your chest, “God! You scared me! I thought you left!” 
“I did, but I just got back.” he answers, standing and walking over to his bed. You quickly finish up brushing your teeth and hang your towel over the railing before stepping back into the room.
Sitting on his bed, you find Jake sipping from a paper coffee cup as he flips through TV channels. Oh, he went to get coffee. 
You walk to your suitcase and grab your blow dryer, ready to tame your frizz, as he speaks again.
“Yours is gonna get cold…” he says gesturing to the paper cup on the dresser.
“Oh.” you reply, completely shocked at his gesture. You toss him a confused look, because just a few short days ago he couldn’t even be bothered to leave any coffee in the pot for you.
“Don’t get excited, it was an accident. Told them no cream but they added it. Made me another. I figured you’d drink it.” he says.
“Oh. Yeah. Of course.” you say, shaking your head nervously. 
Of course it wasn’t on purpose. You were getting ahead of yourself. 
“Thanks.” you reply meekly, grabbing the accidental coffee and stepping into the bathroom. 
As the door shut behind you, you took a sip from the paper cup and smiled. This wasn’t an accident, not at all.
JAKE POV
Waking up next to her felt like a piece was finally back in its place. You knew she was confused, shit, you were too. And there was no explanation. There rarely ever was when it came to Y/N. All you knew is that the guilt was crippling you, and that holding her, just letting her know you were still in there, was enough for you. 
A headache had set in already, forcing you down to the lobby to look for coffee as she took a shower. You stepped outside into the light of the day feeling like your head was going to burst. You spotted a local coffee shop just a few doors down and waited in the line, hoping the coffee would clear you from this miserable headache. 
“Hey, can I get two coffees, one with cream, one black?” you asked, as the barista rang up your order. “Oh, can you add vanilla to the one with cream?” you asked with a smile.
You handed her your card and she handed you the two coffees with a thank you.
You quickly made your way back to the room, hoping to get back before she was done in the shower. The door shut behind you just before hearing the shower turn off. You set her coffee on the dresser, hoping she would notice, but when she finally emerged and saw you with yours her face fell. Like you could ever forget about her.
“Yours is gonna get cold…” you said, pointing to the cup on the dresser.
“Oh.” she replied, her face full of shock. 
You couldn't let her fully believe she was off the hook. She still fucked up, but maybe in some kind of weird way you had too. 
“Don’t get excited, it was an accident. Told them no cream but they added it. Made me another. I figured you’d drink it.” you lied.
“Oh. Yeah. Of course.” she agrees, and you can see the disappointment written all over her. 
Of course it was on purpose Y/N. Just drink it. You’ll see.
“Thanks.” she replied, slipping away to the bathroom with her blow drier and her coffee.
As the door shut behind her you swiped your hand over your mouth. Tell her, you coward. 
You opened your texts pulling up your thread with Elle and reading it again. How could you? Why couldn’t you remember that? 
You finished your coffee and downed a handful of Advil, praying to shake this feeling from your body. You pulled some clean clothes from your suitcase, ready to hit the shower when she was done, hoping the steam might help break up the tension in your chest. You flipped through a few TV channels, catching the news as you heard the bathroom door open again, and watched as Y/N floated out and into the room. You tried not to stare for too long, but how could you not? 
“If you’re done I’m gonna grab a shower. I think we have to leave soon.” you said.
She looked at you and nodded her head, “I’m done, and yeah I think we have about… twenty minutes.” sending you a cheeky smile and raising her eyebrow.
“Don’t give me that look, I’ll be ready.” you quip.
“What look…” she said playfully, continuing to dig through her suitcase as she gave you a knowing look.
You grabbed your clothes and stood from the bed, and as you walked past her you snapped your t-shirt in her direction, grazing her ass and causing her to spin and look at you.
“Jake!” she yelped.
You paused and looked at her with a smirk, “I said, I'll be ready.”
HER POV
What is going on? Am I being Punk’d?
The confusion was rattling your brain, the up and down, back and forth, rollercoaster that Jake was taking you on. Last night when you fell asleep, Jake told you to never say ‘I love you’ ever again. Basically called you trash. Cold and harsh and bleak, just like the past couple weeks of your life had been.  
But all of a sudden, you woke up to him nestled beside you, limbs tangled while you slept. And was that coffee really an accident? And he was flirting? Not just any old flirting, the flirting that was intentional and predisposed. What the fuck? 
Not that you were complaining one bit, but his action still took you by surprise. And you still fully expected him to treat you coldly again. It wasn’t lost on you that you still deserved it, and he was most likely going to keep giving it. 
Tonight was the Saginaw show, and soundcheck was in, well now, 15 minutes. You finished getting dressed and ready for the day, checking a few emails while you waited for Jake. Finally he emerged from the bathroom, just a towel wrapped around his lower half. Fuck. Look away, Y/N, look away. You tried to distract yourself. 
If things were normal, you’d rush him along, tell him to hurry and get dressed. But things are not normal. And you wouldn’t rush him. So you sat, sipped your coffee, and waited. 
“Did they put vanilla in your coffee?” You asked him as he pulled a towel through his dripping hair. 
“Huh? No, why?” He perked up, eyes sunken. 
“You said they messed up your coffee the first time, mine tastes like they put vanilla syrup in it, too. Not just cream. They must have messed up your order all the way.” You continued scrolling your email, not looking up from your phone. “It’s just funny that that’s my normal order...” you went on, voice trailing. 
“Yeah, pretty big coincidence I guess.” He muttered, heading back into the bathroom to change. Hmm. When he emerged a few seconds later, you heard a cough so deep in his chest that it startled you. He swallowed it back, shaking his head as he took a full, deep breath. 
“Ready to go?”
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It finally came time for the show to roll around, and you had noticed that though Richard was back on his bullshit, the crew was still warmed up to you, asking you questions and joking with you, involving you like they always had. It made you feel good, knowing they still held you to the same respect that they did before everything happened. 
Jake and the guys were starting to fiddle around, communicating and checking sound as normal. 
“Why the fuck did we decide to put Brave New World on the encore tonight? Who decided that?” Josh blabbed into the earpieces. “I can hardly even sing like that anymore.” You watched as Jake moved around silently, oblivious as ever. 
Sam moved himself to the tiny mic behind him. “Uh, you did, idiot. We took from your list tonight, remember?” 
Just recently, you’d gotten the hook up to be able to hear their chatter in your very own ear pieces. Logan had a few old cheap in-ears that he rigged up for you and a few more of the crew, just in case there was anything they’d need during a show that wasn’t extremely pressing. You truly enjoyed listening to their banter while no one else could hear it, like a private little inside listen at their antics during shows. 
“Y/N, hey!” Logan yelled from across the stage. 
“Hey!” You called back, waving him over. He jogged across the stage, bringing you in for a tight hug, his long curls falling across your face. “How’s everything going, all ready?” You asked him. 
“Yeah! Feeling more and more confident with each show. I think we’ve finally got it together. This crew kicks ass, honestly. Hey, how are your IEM’s? Everything sound good?” He asked. 
“Yes! I don’t have anything to compare it to, but they sound great to me. Thanks for letting us use them, by the way. This way we’ll never miss when Sam is out of his Topo Chico.” You rolled your eyes as he laughed. 
You glanced behind Logan to find Jake turned toward you, glaring at you from behind his sunglasses. He hit his electric hard, sending out a louder-than-necessary wave of sound across the venue. It startled everyone, sending you jumping back at the sudden jolt of sound. 
“Jesus Christ, Jake! Wake up the entire city, why don’t you?” Josh complained, throwing his arms up. You knew what he was doing, but you weren’t quite sure why. 
“Sounds great on my end, Logan!” Jake belted across the stage, sending double thumbs up to him. Interrupting your conversation. Okay, Jake. 
Logan returned the thumbs up to him. “Hell yeah! Good deal, bro!”
Logan turned back to you, placing his hand on your arm. “Hey, I gotta run but I’ll catch you after the show. Maybe we can grab some breakfast soon? Mimosas?” He asked as he walked backwards away from you. 
“Yeah! Sounds great, just text me!” You answered, sending him finger guns as he disappeared backstage. Such a good guy.
Everyone had high hopes for the show tonight, the third one always being when everybody finally got their footing. You’d popped back in to the guys’ dressing room to check on things, finding Jake seated on the couch with his acoustic, barely playing anything at all. His eyes stayed mainly closed, only popping them open every now and then to check his surroundings. 
You approached Sam and Elle, nodding your head Jake’s way. “Has he been alright? He’s hardly said anything today.”
“He perks up every now and then. Said his head is hurting really bad still.” Sam responded, sipping his drink. You were still concerned that maybe he wouldn’t be able to perform tonight, so you ran to your purse in the corner and grabbed him some headache medicine and a bottle of water. 
You walked over to where he was on the couch, extending your hand out to give him the meds. “Here. Chug. Do you need caffeine?” You asked, truly out of concern. 
He took the pills and water from your hands, swallowing them down and killing half the bottle of water. He shook his head no, standing from the couch. 
He ran his hands through his hair, and shook his limbs out. Just then, your radio buzzed with interference. “Ten minutes, ten minutes to stage.” The voice came across. 
The guys gathered in their huddle, and Josh spoke quietly as they all hugged. He popped up after a few seconds, hitting his fists on his chest. “Saginaw, baby! Sagnasty!” He was the exact and polar opposite of his twin who sulked beside him, still himself but much more reserved than normal. 
“Check me out, Y/N!” Danny said as he spun around. 
“Perfection, sir!” You responded as he opened the door and headed out. Sam and Josh were on his heels, and Jake was following behind, not seeming to be in a hurry at all. 
“You can check my suit, if you want.” He murmured, his eyes falling to the wayside as you looked to him. What? 
“Oh, yeah. Sure will.” You dusted his shoulders off and pulled on his lapels, not seeing anything out of place at all. Just standing this close to his face was enough to make your heart race. 
“Remember when you used to create little mishaps for me to fix with your outfits?” You smirked. 
He smiled, just a little bit. “I do. Just wanted to feel your hands on me.” 
His words took you by surprise. Here comes the rollercoaster again. 
“Hm. So sneaky. And why did you want that?” You pressed, unsure of how to really respond to that. 
He shrugged one shoulder. “I dunno. Made me feel good. And you always saved me for last. Gave me a few extra seconds alone with you.” His eyes were sunken back, but still blazed with the sweet caramel flecks that showed up when he grinned. 
“I’m always gonna save you for last, Jake.” You whispered, letting your hands rest on his chest, feeling it vibrate beneath your palms as he breathed. Your brow furrowed at the feeling, what was that? He started coughing a little as he separated himself from you, grabbing his water bottle and finishing off the rest. 
You instantly became more worried. You felt his chest rattle just now. “Jake, you really don’t look so good. And your chest sounds like shit…”
He cut you off by rushing to the door. “I’m fine. Gotta go.” And he was out the door before you could even finish your sentence. 
——
The show was electric, the crowd huge and loud and more excited than ever. Jake seemed to have caught his second wind, bounding around the stage like he hadn’t been acting like death keeled over the past couple of days. You hoped that whatever he was fighting off would go away soon; you made a mental note to grab him some Vitamin C and other things the next time you were able. It probably wouldn’t hurt for everyone to get their immune systems up right now. 
The end of the show was drawing near, you and Elle had been dancing the night away just like always. Things with Elle were still a bit, awkward? to say the least, but you just brushed it off as both of you being busy. Things would level out soon.
Logan joined the two of you near the end of the show, watching from side stage, a place he rarely ever got to visit. You offered him a questioning thumbs up which he returned, giving you his famous 100 watt smile. You were so happy he was here, his presence alone always made you feel like you were safe and cared for. 
The Weight of Dreams began, and suddenly, it looked as though the fog machine was turned on full blast, absolutely drowning Jake in thick fog. Even from side stage, he was completely enveloped in it. Shit. You looked to Logan who took off immediately, rushing around back stage to loop back around to the front. Why was there so much fog? You grabbed your radio as quickly as you could. “Where are the stage fans? Let’s get them on quickly please.” You demanded into the radio, watching as it clouded and billowed around him. 
Finally after what felt like an eternity you could see him through it. He never missed a beat. The very first thought in your mind- that’s going to be good for his already rattling lungs. You could see him trying to cough a little bit as the smoke cleared, turning his head around and trying to get away from it. 
The show continued on after Logan most likely told them to cut the fog machines altogether. After they played My Way, Soon, which appeared to be a surprise crowd favorite, they left and went backstage before encore. You ran back to the green room quickly to meet them, and Jake was leaned against the cool block wall with his arms covering his face. He was coughing again, the deep growl in his chest sounding worse than it did before. 
“Shit!” He yelled as he caught his breath. “What the fuck was up with that fog?!” 
“I dunno man but my throat hurts so bad I wanna scream. And I’ve already been screaming all fucking night.” Josh said, sipping the hot toddy he warmed back up in a microwave. 
You felt worried for them both. This was not the time for them to be coming down with anything. 
“Let’s just get through these last three…” Josh said, spraying his throat with some type of spray. 
“Well, we would have planned an extended encore for a night when we actually want it to fly by, huh? Lover, Leaver is gonna be stacked.” Jake said, sitting on the couch wiping off his forehead. 
Just then, Logan burst in the room. “Hey guys. I know you’re not feeling the best. I know you’re struggling out there, I can see it. But you’re kicking ass, I don’t think anyone even noticed the fog incident. We turned them off.” He said. 
“Thank god…” Jake muttered. 
“I have just the thing for you, I promise you it will make you feel better for the time being.” Logan said, bringing out a mason jar from his back jeans pocket. 
“The fuck is that?” Sam asked. 
“Holy shit…” Jake added. 
“This right here is white lightning moonshine. And the real kind, too. Not the shit you buy over in Gatlinburg. My uncle makes it. Take a few swigs, it will light you the fuck up. But it will help you get through these next few songs, I swear.” Logan went on, shaking the jar and showing off the bubbles. 
You watched as Jake and Josh exchanged looks and shrugged. “What could it hurt?” Jake said. 
The two of them found cups so as not to spread whatever the hell they had going on, poured enough for a few drinks each, and walked toward each other. 
“Cheers, I guess.” Josh said, taking a large drink. 
“Son of a bitch! Woo!” Jake yelled as the liquid traveled down his throat and into his system. 
“I want some!” Sam yelled, bringing his own cup over. 
“Let’s hope that works, I can already feel my chest loosening up, damn.” Jake said with surprise on his face. 
“Don’t drink any more alcohol on top of it. Just chase with water. I gotta go, I’ll leave it here in the fridge. Good show guys!” Logan said as he jumped back out of the room. 
“Well, let’s go see if that helped.” Jake said, throwing back the remaining whiskey in his cup. 
——
…And it did. For the time being, at least. Jake and Josh still seemed winded, but they played the encore without even a slip, full of energy and enthusiasm. 
Sam started out on the keys first off, playing a little tune you barely recognized. As it went on, the familiarity hit you in the face. Was this the song he played you at the speakeasy in Vegas? Gershwin…
Right when it hit you that that’s what it was, he glanced up to you and Elle, shooting you the tiniest of winks. Sam, good lord…don’t make my heart beat like that ever again, damnit. 
And they were right, Lover, Leaver, Taker, Believer was extended to almost twenty minutes, and Jake even threw in a little bit of Brave New World. The crowd was absolutely going insane, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely starstruck from hearing the old song that they never play. 
They finished out the show without any more hiccups, and after tying up a few things with the crew, you rushed backstage to meet them in the green room. 
When you got there, Jake was still dressed and leaned back on the couch, looking completely washed out. Josh was sitting on the arm of the couch next to him, already changed and ready to go. Josh looked at you, true worry painted across his face. 
“He’s usually always the one to change first.” He said, his voice scratchy and eyes glossed. 
“I know he is.” You replied, taking the seat next to him on the couch. “Hey, Jake. You wanna get out of that suit so we can go home?” You placed your hand on his leg, trying to keep up your charade as best you could. 
Suddenly Danny was grabbing his hands and picking him up off the couch, Jake fighting him to stand. “Come on, little buddy. Let’s get you up.” Danny teased. 
“Get the hell off me, asshole.” Jake said through a soft smile. “I’ve got it, I’m good.” Another deep cough caught his chest. He sulked off to the dressing room, sweat still pouring from his face. You couldn’t wait to get back to the room so he could rest, your gut telling you that something was ominous.
——
You could tell something was definitely off when the elevator ride contained no jokes, no laughter, nothing. Just silence. Jake was slumped over on the railing, with his head leaning against the metallic wall. His chest was heaving and his eyes heavy. Maybe he was actually sick. 
Josh stood across from him in a similar state, though not as pale, and still coherent enough to respond if someone did talk to him. The three of you stepped out on your floor, watching as Jake had to pull himself off of the railing. He was sweaty, his hair stuck to his neck, and you wondered if that was remnants from the show or if he was fighting off a fever. 
Josh stepped up to his door, and entered inside with a soft goodnight, leaving you and Jake a few steps away from your own door. Jake trailed behind, exuding more effort than usual just to place one foot in front of the other as his chest continued to heave. 
“Do you have the key?” you asked.
He fell into the wall, pulling his wallet from his pocket and thrusting it into your hands. What the hell? You opened his wallet, pulling the key card from one of the slots and tapping it to the door. You walked inside, hearing him come in after you, attempting to lock the door. 
He carried himself to his bed and flopped down face first into the sheets. God, what is his deal?
You kicked off your shoes and grabbed your pajamas from your suitcase, making your way to the bathroom to change. Silence. Pure silence. Your heart started to race. There is something wrong. There has to be. He’s never this quiet.
You pulled the shirt over your head and threw your hair into a bun, quickly walking back out to the room, to see Jake still laying on his stomach on his bed. He hadn’t moved an inch. His sunken eyes stared blankly at the wall, as beads of sweat collected on his forehead. 
You made your way over to him, crouching down in front of him, “Jake?” you asked, placing your hand on his sweaty face. Oh my god, he’s burning up. His eyes fluttered closed at your touch and a shaky sigh left his chest.
“Hey…Jake…you’re not looking too good. I know you aren’t feeling good. Can you talk to me?” you ask, standing up and trying to roll him to his back. With a little extra effort you are able to roll him over, and you make your way to the foot of his bed, unzipping his boots and tossing them to the floor. His chest is still rising quickly, and his skin is pale as you look at him, starting to put the pieces together. 
His headaches. His coughing. He is sick, and this isn’t a normal sickness. 
“Hey…can you talk to me? Please, say something?” you ask gently.
He just blinks, a wheeze leaving his chest with his exhale. Fuck.
“Jake, please…Look, I know you hate me right now... I just need you to tell me what's going on. You sound really really bad. You’re scaring me.” you beg.
“Don’t hate you…” he breathes, using every bit of effort he has to try and reach for you. 
“Okay, okay. Can you breathe? Is it your chest?” you ask.
“Yes…” he whispers.
“Yes you can breathe or yes it’s your chest?” you ask.
“My chest...” he answers.
You place your hand on his forehead again, feeling the heat absolutely radiating off of him. 
“I’m gonna take some of your layers off okay? You are too warm.” you say.
He nods, continuing to wheeze as his chest rises and falls. 
Fuck what do I do? What do I do?
You unbutton the rest of his shirt, trying to strip it off of him as quickly as possible, seeing the sheen of sweat covering his body. 
You watch his chest cave inward as he tries to pull a full breath into his lungs with a crackle. God Jake. 
His hair was stuck to his neck, drenched in sweat. “Can I pull your hair up?” you ask.
He nods and reaches his arm out to you to let you grab the hair tie from his wrist. You do your best to pull the sweaty hairs into a bun, and away from his face. 
“I’m gonna go get a wet rag, I’ll be right back.” you say, rushing off to the bathroom. 
You quickly wet a washcloth with cold water, wringing out the excess before returning back to him and placing it on his head. 
He swallows and looks at you, “Will you lay with me baby, please…” he breathes, eyes barely open.
“What? No, Jake you don’t mean that.” you say, knowing it’s probably just the fever getting to him. 
You stand up and walk over to his toiletry bag searching for the tylenol, hoping it will bring down his fever.
You return back to him with a bottle of water and the pills, sitting on the bed next to him. “Take these, please. It will help.” you ask.
He groans and waves you off, as you place your hand on his arm. “Please, Jake.”
He grumbles again and grabs the water from you, tossing the pills into his mouth. He drinks them down before collapsing back into the pillow as a horrible cough rips through his chest. 
“Jake, I’m really really worried. I think you have something pretty nasty.” you say, taking the water back from him and standing from the bed. His hand shakily reaches out to grab yours. 
“Please stay…” he says through another cough. “I’m so tired– don’t fight me. Just…” he trails off. 
You set the water on the nightstand and sit down on the bed next to him. His hand reaches for yours, limply holding it in his. Electricity travels up your arm as you turn to look at him, his face growing more and more pale by the second. His lips turning more blue than they have ever looked. 
He brings your hand to rest on his bare chest, and you can feel the shallowness of his breathing, not matching up with the exertion you were witnessing from him. 
“Hey, do you think you could take a shower? Maybe help break up whatever is going on in your chest? Bring down your fever? What do you think?” you ask, letting his fingers glide over the top of your hand. 
“You’ll lay with me after?” he asks.
“Sure.” you answer, knowing you’d do anything to make him feel better. 
You stand from the bed, and grab his hand, gently pulling him to his feet as he wobbles. You place your arm around his waist and bring his other arm over your shoulder as you help him towards the bathroom. You sit him on the toilet, and reach into the shower to start the water. 
What are you supposed to do in this situation? Do you leave and let him do it himself? Do you stay and help him?
“Do you…want…help? Or…” you ask, noticing the bathroom filling with steam.
“Don’t leave…please…” he says, weakly trying to unbuckle his belt. You wince watching him struggle, and you know that you need to put everything aside and step in. 
You push his hands away, unbuckling the belt and pulling it from the loops. You pull him to stand and unbutton his pants, looking away as you push them towards the ground. His eyes study you, you can feel them boring into your skin. As you turn to look at him his eyes are hazy, sunken, and scared as they search yours. 
“You’re okay Jake. You’re just fighting off something bad. It’ll be okay. Can you step in?” you ask, pulling back the shower curtain. 
He nods and steps in, letting the hot water hit his skin. The steam is filling the bathroom perfectly, and you hope that it will help him breathe easier. When he isn’t looking you slip out of the bathroom and find your phone, still buried in your purse. 
You quickly hit Josh’s contact and hold the phone to your ear as you try to find clean clothes for Jake to change into. 
“Hello?” he answers, his voice rough and scratchy.
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you, but… Jake is like, really really sick. I–”
“Yeah me fucking too. I can barely move. Feel like I got hit by a bus.” he says.
“No, Josh he is like, not breathing right. He’s coughing and wheezing and I’m scared.” you admit.
“Fuck. I noticed him coughing today…Do you think he needs to see a doctor?” he asks.
“That’s why I was calling. Do you think he should? What should I do?” you ask, nervously.
“What is he saying?” he asks.
“Josh, he is barely breathing, let alone talking. He hasn’t been able to catch his breath since we left the show.” you say.
“Take him to the hospital. Call Sam or Danny. They will know how to get him there.” he says. 
Suddenly a crashing sound comes from the bathroom, causing your head to snap in its direction. 
“Fuck I have to go.” you say ending the call. 
You throw your phone onto the bed and run back into the bathroom, and what you find nearly stops your heart. 
“Jake!” you yell, throwing the rest of the curtain back and turning off the water. 
Laying slumped against the shower wall was Jake, completely passed out. 
You climbed into the tub, pulling his face from the wall and shaking his body. “Jake! Jake! Please!” you yell, tears welling in your eyes. 
Fuck what do you do?! Is he breathing at all?
You pull from every single life safety protocol you ever learned, praying you could remember what to do.
You continue to shake him, trying to open his eyes and get him to wake up, when suddenly it hits you. Blood flow to the brain. You pull his soaking wet body towards you and try to ease him down onto his back, propping his legs up. 
“Please Jake. Please please please wake up.” you whisper, letting the tears roll down your cheeks.
Seconds later he coughs, trying to take another deep breath. His eyes shoot open and a sob rips from your chest. You did it.
“Jake oh my god!” you cry.
“Are you okay? You passed out! I’m so sorry I never should have left the bathroom, I just called Josh and–”
“Josh…Where’s Josh…” he whines.
“He’s in his room, he’s sick too. I just talked to him, he’s okay Jake.” you say.
“I need him, tell him I need him…I don’t feel good baby, something’s wrong…” he pants.
“I know. I know. I’m taking you to the hospital. I just need you to get up if you can. Have to put clothes on…” you sniffle.
You rush out of the bathroom and grab your phone, hitting Sam’s contact and putting it on speakerphone as you try to help Jake stand up from the shower. 
“Do you know what time it is?” Sam answers.
“Sam…” you plead.
“Oh fuck, what? What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Come to our room, please fucking hurry. Bring Danny, bring anyone I don’t care just help!” you beg.
“Be there in two seconds.” he says, ending the call.
You grab a towel and try to wrap it around Jake, drying his shivering body the best you can, knowing his fever is getting the best of him. 
“Come on, I got clothes out for you…” you say, pulling him to sit on the edge of his bed.
“Can you put these on?” you ask, tossing the clothes next to him.
He nods and slowly pulls the shirt over his head, still looking terribly pale and lethargic.
A knock at the door has you running to answer it, seeing Sam and Daniel waiting.
“What the fuck, whats happening?” Sam asks, bursting into the room.
“I don’t know, we came back to the room and he could barely move. He was sweating and completely out of it. He can't breathe, he just passed out in the shower! I didn’t know what to do but then I did, and he's awake now but I–I need to take him to the hospital can you please help me!” you say, breaking down again.
Daniel rushes over to Jake, squatting down in front of him, “You okay man? What’s up?” he asks seriously.
“Can’t breathe…” he answers weakly.
Daniel looks over to Sam, sending him a look. Sam pulls his phone from his pocket, scrambling trying to figure out whose car you could take.
“Hey! My parents! The–they are here for the night because of the show!” you say, grabbing your phone and hitting your dads contact. 
“Hello? Hey dad, I’m so sorry I know it's so late. I need to borrow your car. We have to take Jake to the hospital. What– Yeah, I will explain everything but we have to go right now. Can I come get your keys?” you say, rushing to get your shoes on. 
“714… Yes… I’m gonna send Sam. Be there in a sec.” he says, ending the call.
“Daniel, I’m going to get the keys, can you two get him to the lobby? I’ll pick you up.” Sam says, pointing to Danny.
“Yeah, hurry dude. He looks bad.” Danny says, only adding to your stress.
“Danny, is he going to be okay?” you cry.
“We’re gonna take him to Ascension, they will check him out. I’m sure he will be okay. Just having a rough time right now. Right Jake?” he says, hoping Jake will calm your nerves, but instead you’re both met with a horrible cough. 
You grab your purse and your phone, tossing his wallet and his phone into your bag as Danny helps him walk towards the door. 
The three of you nervously ride the elevator, your eyes never leaving Jake for a split second. The image of his passed out body in the shower making you sick. The elevator arrives at the lobby and you and Danny rush him out the front door, to wait for Sam. 
Seconds later he is pulling up, and you are helping Jake into the backseat of the car. You slide in next to him, and as the car starts to pull away you feel his body slump into your lap. 
His face is warm as you rub your hands over his forehead, winding your fingers through his hair. 
“You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. They will know exactly what to do. You’ll feel so much better in just a few minutes. I promise.” you say, trying to help him relax. His eyes are glossed over as he stares up at you, blinking slowly. 
“Sam, call your parents!” you plead.
You bite your lips together to keep from crying. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen him like this. This vulnerable. This weak. 
You rest your left hand on his jaw, his skin burning hot against your palm. His hand comes up to grab yours pulling it to rest over his heart, knowing he just needs to feel the comfort of your touch, regardless of everything that’s happening between the two of you. 
As the car pulls into the Emergency Room drop off, you slide out of the car and help Jake get out, watching him slowly pull himself out of the car. Daniel steps in again, helping walk Jake inside of the hospital, as you rush to the desk to talk to the attendant. 
Within minutes a nurse arrives with a wheelchair instructing him to sit, as the two of you stand and watch him be admitted. Jake grabs your hand and pulls you close to him, his hands clammy and shaking.
“We can only do one rapid test. Immediate family only. The rest of you will have to wait here and take a standard test before we can let you come back.” the nurse says, starting to wheel him away.
“No...please…She– she’s family! She is my family…” Jake says, still trying to hold on to you as they move further away. You let go, and he turns back to look at you until you can’t see him anymore, your heart shattering into a million pieces.
“Fuck, I’ll call you. Cars’ in lot B.” Sam says, tossing the keys to Danny and rushing down the hall to catch up with them, leaving you and Daniel standing in the waiting room with nothing but questions.
You can’t help the tears that break free as they disappear down the hallway. Is he going to be okay? What’s wrong with him? Why now? 
Danny throws his arm over your shoulder, and brings you to sit in one of the hard hospital chairs. He sits next to you, turning towards you grabbing your hands in his. You blink back your tears as you look at him.
“Y/N, I know Jake. He’s gonna be okay. They are going to find out what’s going on, and he will be just fine. I know it sucks that you can’t go with him. It hurts to hear that you aren’t family. Trust me, I get it.” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood, “...but just know, if he could have picked any of us to go back with him, it would be you. Everytime it would be you.”
You rip your hands from his to cover your face as another sob wracks through your body. He doesn’t even know. He doesn’t even know he hates me. He doesn’t even know what I did to him.
“Why don’t I…take you back to the hotel... We can hangout and talk and wait for Sam to call us. I know they aren't going to let us back there, and I think you need to rest. I won’t leave you, I promise. Plus, we should probably talk to Josh…” he offers.
You nod and stand as he throws his arm around you, pulling you tightly into his side, and as you walk, you wonder if it’s finally time to come clean.
JAKE POV
Your finger was tapping along with the sound of something, a steady beep that repeated every second and a half or so. Your eyes were heavy and blurry, your head was still pounding, and there was a heaviness in your chest that you couldn’t shake off. But the tapping felt strange. You lifted your finger and looked at it, a large white clip thing attached and pinching your pointer finger. You studied it, twirling it around and inspecting it before reaching with your opposite hand to remove it. 
“That’s your pulse ox, Jacob. Gotta keep it on, okay? Measures your oxygen levels for me.” You heard a sweet female voice ring in your ears as you felt a pair of warm hands take yours, and replace the pinchy plastic thing. “I know it’s annoying, but it’s very important.”
You finally opened your eyes all the way, finding yourself in a bed unfamiliar, surrounded by monitors and dim fluorescent lighting. Fuck, did they really bring you to a hospital? You reached up to your face, and of course, found two little plastic prongs pushing cold air into your nostrils. You looked around the room once more, expecting to be lectured by the pretty voice again. 
“Yep, oxygen, hun.” She said. You began to sit up and readjust yourself in the bed, feeling your entire body beginning to pound like your muscles had been beaten with a meat tenderizer. You felt the tiniest bit of panic beginning to set in as your disorientation started to slip away, knowing that you wouldn’t be in here if something weren’t seriously wrong. 
“Just relax, Jake. You don’t need to overexert yourself. Just stay laid back, you’re in good hands.” She said again, bringing herself beside your bed to readjust your pillows. “They’re about to come and get you for radiographs, we need to take a few X-rays of your chest to figure out what’s going on, okay? Those will tell us a bit more about how exactly to move forward with your treatment. But you just stay relaxed, we’ll be back in a few to get you for tests.” The sweet voice continued. It sounded… oddly familiar? Your eyes were too blurry to make out a face, but you knew she was a young nurse. And all you wanted to do was ask questions. And find Y/N. 
The nurse was gone from the room a few seconds later, and instantly, another body was beside your bed. A familiar one. 
“Hey brother, you doing okay?” Sam. Fuckin Sam. 
You groaned, wanting to roll to your side but the monitors connected to your chest and arms holding you back. 
“No, not really. Why did you bring me here? Can we leave? Where’s Y/N?” You went on, perturbed that Sam was the only other one in the room with you. 
“No, we can’t leave. You’re not in good shape, Jake. Y/N is with Danny.” He answered. 
“I’m fine. Just a little cold. I can fight it off myself. Tell them to give me some meds and let’s get out of here. We have shows to play.” You growled. 
You heard Sam sigh hard. “Jake, listen to me. Do you remember anything after the show? The shower, anything?” He asked. You began to feel disoriented and dizzy again, like no amount of oxygen could bring you back to coherency. 
“No. Well, a little bit. I remember Y/N taking my clothes off in the bathroom at the hotel.” You went on as you sat up again. You gave Sam the most detrimental look you could muster, biting your tongue hard as you stared daggers through his skull. “Probably wasn’t as good as her taking my clothes off in a hotel stairwell, though. Huh Sam?”
You felt his body language tense as he went completely silent. Even from behind his face mask, you could tell he wasn’t breathing. He stood stoic, still as a statue beside your bed. 
Yeah, that’s right asshole. I know all about it. 
“Where even is she, anyway? Where’s mom?” You muttered out, having absolutely no energy to talk about that with Sam at this point. When you got your energy back, though…
He cleared his throat. “Uh, they wouldn’t let her back because she’s not family. Said maybe after she tests negative for COVID…same with mom. They can test tonight and have results back tomorrow, so.” 
“Do they think that’s what I have? What did the doctors say?” You asked him, the dizziness setting back in. 
“They don’t know, Jake. They tested you for it as soon as we got here, while you were still out of it. Do you remember passing out in the shower? Y/N said you quit breathing for a little bit…then she called me and Daniel.”
You shook your head. “No, not really. Guess I blacked out. Maybe that’s why my body hurts so bad. And I probably went too hard at the show. Shit, where’s Josh?” You said, feeling another cough threatening your chest. 
You felt Sam sit beside you on the bed while you worked through the coughing fit. “He’s at the hotel, he’s sick too. They’re coming to do the chest X-ray and blood work, Carson said. If it isn’t COVID, then they said it could be pneumonia, Jake. Like the bad kind.” 
You sighed, exhausted after feeling your lungs tighten in on themselves. “Fuck. Awesome. On the third fucking show…” you shook your head, pissed off. “Wait, who's Carson?”
“Your nurse. Carson Neely, remember her from high school? I think you graduated with her. ” Sam said. 
Oh yeah. You wondered why her voice hit a familiar nerve. Wow, it had been years since you heard that name. You played soccer together growing up, and all the way through high school. She was an absolute beast of an athlete, playing more sports than any guy you knew. And she kicked your ass as a forward. Always really easy to get along with…you remembered having a few classes with her, too. She was always so nice and pretty, kind of off-putting but in an attractive way, like she never let you have the upper hand. You always figured it was just her competitive nature. 
“Shit, that’s her? I haven’t heard that name in years…small world.” You told Sam. 
“Yep, she’s been in here since we got here. Got you all hooked up and asked me all kinds of questions. I never saw her ending up as a nurse, but. Anyway, I’m gonna go call everybody and update them. Mom and Dad should be here soon. They can’t come up, but. They only allow one rapid test, and you get me…” Sam’s voice trailed off as he exited the door, pulling his phone from his pocket. 
“Sam…” you called back to him before he closed the door. He turned back to look at you. “Is Josh okay?”
“Not really, no. He’s gonna go to the doctor tomorrow.” And he let the door shut behind him. Fuck. What is going on? Another deep cough rattled through your chest, this time hurting so badly you could hardly catch your breath. Carson burst through your door, straight to the monitor that read your vitals. 
“It’s okay, Jake. Just breathe through it. Stay relaxed, you’re just fine.” You felt the air in your nostrils blow harder. You calmed down a bit, able to pull air in through your nose a bit better. “See? All better…”
“Carson, how are you?” You asked, your eyes fluttering open and shut from exhaustion. 
She laughed nervously. “Ha ha, I’m good, Jake. I’d ask you the same, but…”
You managed a laugh. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. It’s strange seeing you here and not kicking my ass in the soccer field.” 
She laughed again, pushing you to rest back on your pillows. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Times sure have changed since high school.” Her voice was so sweet, and you guaranteed she was just as pretty as she used to be, but your eyesight was failing you. 
“It has been a long time. How long have you been a nurse?” You asked her. 
“Right out of high school. I started taking classes senior year and got my RN the next year.” She said proudly. 
“Wow, that’s awesome. I never thought you’d be doing something like this. Always thought you’d end up on the Women’s National team.” You grinned as she adjusted your monitor and took notes on her laptop. 
“Ah, nah. I still play a little bit, but this was my calling.” She went on. “Don’t you remember us talking about going into the healthcare field during that one project we did for Mr. Jackson’s class?”
“Oh, shit yeah. I kinda do…the human body project.” You replied, remembering your anatomy and physiology class. 
“Mmhm. If I remember right, that’s what you wanted to do, too?” She asked, bringing her face a little closer to you as she spoke. 
You pondered on the question, pulling from fibers way in the back of your brain. “Yeah, I always kinda did. Wanted to be able to help people, ya know? Any way that I could… never really happened though.”
She scoffed. “Are you kidding me, Jake? Have you not noticed that you literally help thousands of people every single night you have a show?” 
Wait, what?
“Maybe not in the health care way you wanted to, but. Your music. It helps people.” She said, continuing her notes. 
“What do you mean?” You kind of understood, but you wanted her to elaborate. You wanted to keep listening to her talk, keep listening to her voice…
She huffed, closing her laptop. “I was at the Grand Rapids show. Got to stand in the pit surrounded by hundreds of your fans. I watched people cry, scream, dance, and hug each other. Pure joy, Jake. Everywhere. Excitement. You and your brothers, you all have got that something.” She began to wheel her laptop cart away from your bedside. 
“I’ve worked in this field for a long time, but I’m telling you, especially in the fucked up world we’re living in right now, you guys supply the best medicine anyone could ever take.” She said, giving you a wink over her mask. You felt your insides get warm. You’d never heard anyone put it like that before. 
You choked back what felt like a cross between a sob and a cough. “Thank you, Carson. That’s…that’s really nice of you to say…”
“Anytime. I’ll be back here in a little while, gonna start you an IV for fluids. You’re severely dehydrated, hun. Try to rest.” She said, slipping through the door as Sam came back inside. 
You glared at him again, his presence bringing you a mix of emotions. Thankful that he was here, but miserable because you knew what he did. 
“I talked to Mom, she and dad got a room in the same hotel as us. They’re coming to get tested so they can visit you tomorrow. She’s going to take Josh to the doctor early, too. He’s not as bad as you, but he’s damn close. What the hell did you guys get into?” He asked. 
“I have no idea. I would say it was the fog machine blast to the face tonight, but I’ve been sick for days. I shouldn’t have ignored it.” You said, feeling regretful. 
“I talked to Daniel, too. He’s taking Y/N back to the hotel since they won’t let them up, either. Said she was a complete mess, worried sick for you.” Sam said, taking his seat again. 
You sighed. Things were so fucked up. You missed her, you were mad at her. You loved her, wanted nothing more than to be near her. But also still felt so betrayed that you wanted to leave her in the dust, until you remembered your conversation with Elle. Your intentions to be with her…
“Well, she found me passed out naked in the shower, so. I guess she is a little fucked up. Probably feels a little guilty she didn’t bring me here sooner, didn’t go behind your backs and just bring me immediately…” You said, trying your damnedest to insinuate without exerting too much energy. “Probably would have been a whole lot better if she would have just listened to her gut instead of making the wrong decision, hm?” 
“Jake. Stop. Not now. Fuck…” Sam said, burying his face in his hands. “Please, just…” 
You laughed as deviously as you could. “Why not, Sam? What better time than the present? Hell, I might die in here tonight. Let’s talk now, yeah? Don’t be shy, I can’t get up and fight you, as badly as I wish I could.” A cough wracked through you again. 
“Tell me about it, Sam. Tell me all about your night in the hotel stairwell with my girlfriend. The love of my life. Yeah? You know her? I wanna know about it all.” You went on after catching your breath. 
“Jake, stop it.” He said sternly. 
“I know what you did, Sam. I know all about it. It’s funny, you didn’t even think to come to me and tell me what you did. And you call yourself my fucking brother?!” Your mind began spinning. 
“Shut the fuck up, Jake. I’m telling you.” 
“Always after what you can’t have, taking what isn’t yours…” you muttered. 
Just then Sam stood up, rushing over to your bed, hovering over you. 
“I said this isn’t the time and place Jake. And if it was, I’d remind you that she was mine for a very long time, and she followed me into the stairwell that night.” He stepped back a little bit, gathering himself. 
“And hell, if I remember correctly, it looked a lot like you wanted to take Elle back to your room that night if Josh wouldn’t have called. Hmm? I bet you had plans to, didn’t you? I saw you two whispering, you were into it. You wanted to take Elle back, not Y/N. Stop lying to yourself, Jake.” 
You felt the blood drain even more from your body, the strange guilt creeping back in. You shook your head and covered your eyes with the heels of your hands. 
“God, Sam. Are we ever going to stop chasing after the same woman?” You asked. The emotions were filling you to the brim, confusion setting in your already clouded mind. You didn’t know what else to do, so you laughed, which brought on another hard coughing fit. 
“Wait, what do you mean chasing?” Sam asked as another deep cough shook your entire body. Your monitors were going nuts, and Carson burst back into the room. 
“Jake!” Sam yelled back at you as you struggled for your breath, two more medical personnel coming into the room. 
“Sir, please step back.” One of them said. 
“Should we prep a vent? O2 sat is dropping quickly…” The other suggested as you listened to the beeping slow down, your vision blacking out by the second. Your eyes searched for Sam through the crowd of people, looking for him to tell you it’s okay. But it wasn’t. You knew that.
“No, I haven’t gotten the orders back yet. Have respiratory on standby. Crank O2 to 100%. Let’s go ahead and get him to X-ray. I’ll get the IV on the way.” Carson said as they rushed out the door. 
“Sammy…” you managed, gravely and hoarse.
You looked to Sam as they wheeled you away, panic setting in as fear filled your body. Struggling to breathe, struggling to think straight. All you could see were the terrified eyes of your baby brother, standing helplessly behind in the room. 
“I’ll be right here when you get back, you’ll be just fine. I’m not leaving you!” 
As your vision went black you saw her face. Your girl. Your forever girl. 
HER POV
You pushed the door of the car open, the rush of cold March Michigan air actually feeling nice on your hot skin. You’d fought back terrified tears the whole ride back to the hotel, Danny trying his best to console you. The two of you walked through the hotel lobby, and up to the room. 
“I’m gonna go to my room and change really quickly and I’ll be right back, ok?” He said.
“Okay, Danny. Thanks.” You didn’t want to impose, but you knew you needed some company right now. And honestly, he probably didn’t want to be alone either. 
Just as you entered the room and pulled the doorstop to hold the door for Danny, your phone buzzed in your hand. 
Karen K
1:54am: Hey honey! We just got into the hotel room. We’re right by Josh, he’s doing okay and I’m going to keep checking on him all night. I’ll take him to the doctor in the morning. Is there anything you need? Have you talked to Jake? 
You sighed, exhausted from this damn charade. 
You
1:56am: Hi! Glad you got in safely. Glad Josh is in good hands with you. No, I’m okay. Danny is staying close by tonight, we’re going to keep each other company. Elle too. Yes, Danny talked to Sam. I’m so scared, I know you are too.
Karen K
2:02am: I am scared, honey. But he’s in the best place he can be. Hopefully we can get in to visit tomorrow and get some answers. Love you, call if you need anything! 
You
2:04am: Love you! 
Danny came back into the room shortly thereafter after you had changed clothes. He was carrying two to-go boxes in his right hand, and two Gatorades in the other. 
“I have leftover pizza and a piece of cherry pie. It’s not much, but. I know neither of us have eaten.” He said, sitting everything down on the bed. 
Your heart swelled. “Danny, you’re so sweet. Thank you. I guess we should eat, if we’re gonna be everyone’s caretakers, huh?” You tried to make light of the conversation. 
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Speaking of, Elle just texted and said she had a pretty bad headache coming on, too. She’s going to go to sleep. Said to send you her love.” Danny went on. 
“Shit, maybe we should put ourselves in a bubble, huh?” You joked, but half serious. 
He nodded in agreement. You shared the cold pizza and pie, and downed the blue Gatorade while you sat and chatted with Danny. You were fighting the urge to cry the whole time, the fear and the nerves and the guilt rushing back each time Danny would reassure you that Jake was going to be okay. 
“Plus, he has you in his corner. He’s always been a fighter, but now he’s got something worth fighting for. He will be okay, Y/N. I promise.” He went on, trying his best to keep your spirits up when you knew his were faltering, too. 
Danny’s phone alerted him of a text. He read it aloud. 
The Great Sambino 🎹 
2:37am: Jake’s still coughing really bad, keeps going in and out of it. Just heard them ask if they needed to prep a ventilator. Taking him to get X-rays and bloodwork now.
“A ventilator? Fuck, Danny…that means, no…” you began stammering, knowing that being on a ventilator is most definitely not a good thing. 
“It’s ok, Y/N. He said they took him for tests, which means he’s not on it. It’s alright…” Danny said, joining you on your bed as you fought sobs. 
“That’s not good, Danny. He could be getting worse. And he hates me, he doesn’t even know what’s happening…I can’t be there with him to remind him…” you were talking in incomplete sentences, incomplete thoughts…
“What do you mean, he hates you? Are you crazy? What are you talking about, Y/N?” His face falls as he looks to yours, seeing your tears falling even harder now. “Y/N what did you do…”
You took a deep, choppy breath, tears flowing so hard from your eyes you could barely see. 
“Are you sure you wanna know?” You asked him. 
“Well yeah, I’m this far invested now…lay it on me.” He said. 
You took a breath. “I slept with Sam again…” you whispered, feeling the strangest sense of even worse guilt hearing it be confessed out loud. “In Vegas. The night we…all went back to their room. We all started, fooling around. Things got a little bit wild, I guess…we were all so drunk…I was making out with Sam and Jake was with Elle, hell even Elle and I were messing around. It was just...��� You took a breath again as you saw Danny’s utterly confused but intrigued expression. 
“It was a cluster, Danny. Just. I don’t even know how to explain it. We were just having fun. But it brought up so many unresolved things with Sam, ya know. We never fully got to finish each other out. I know you know that he still loves me. He told me you know.” Danny nodded, showing you he remembered the conversation they had while sledding last Christmas. 
“I don’t know if he told you, but I still have some of those feelings, too, Danny and I don’t know what to do with them. I didn’t know. They were just, eating me alive. I felt so guilty…even thinking for one second I could hurt Jake. Then that night rolled around, and we just…” you threw your arms up. 
“It just happened. When Jake left to go find you and Josh. But he and Elle were really getting into each other, I could tell, Sam could tell. I talked to Jake about it. I told him to go ahead with Elle, if that was what he wanted to do. We never got to finish the conversation. Then, Elle passed out, Jake left, and I went to smoke with Sam…” you trailed off, too embarrassed to even look at Danny. 
“Fuck.” Was all he said. “So you did sleep with Sam. And Jake knows? And that’s why he hates you?” 
You nodded. “Yeah, he ended things on the spot that night. It’s been horrible. I have apologized a million times, and I know it will never be enough. Just these last couple of days he started coming around a little, letting me talk. It’s so fucked up, Danny.”
He let you talk a little bit more, and to your surprise, he didn’t yell at you or scold you like you expected, like you deserved, but instead he just listened. Stayed neutral. You could tell he was very, very upset with you, so you let him be. 
After a while, and after the conversation had set in, you told Danny to sit on your bed and process for a minute. You went into the closet, pulling a fresh set of sheets and pillows from the shelf, stripping off Jake’s bed and replacing all the sheets. You patted the bed and motioned for Danny to go back. 
“There. Nice and clean and not covered in Jake’s sickness. You don’t have to stay here, just thought we both could use some company while we slept.” You told him. 
He nodded, slithering his way back over to the other bed. He sighed deeply as he got underneath the heavy white comforter. “Y/N, I don’t know what to say. I know you’re in the shit right now. And I am upset with you. Disappointed in you and Sam both. But I think we should focus on Jake and Josh’s health right now. And figure the rest out later. Either way, I’m still gonna be here for you. I know you’re sorry.”
“Thank you, Danny.” You whispered as you got in bed, too, the sleepiness setting in. “Don’t deserve a friend like you.” 
Before you fell all the way asleep, you grabbed your phone, sending Jake a text you never thought you’d have to send. 
You
3:19am: You’re going to be okay, babe. I love you endlessly, with everything in me, till I can’t anymore. I promise you that. Never going to stop telling you. I’ll see you tomorrow, stay strong. Thank you for calling me your family. ♥️
——
The next morning you woke up to the bright sunlight coming through the windows of the hotel room. The immediate stomach ache from yesterday’s stresses came circling back as your brain reminded itself. You glanced over to Danny, silently scrolling on his phone. 
“Morning.” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes. 
“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” He asked. 
“To be completely honest, a lot better than I thought I would. I think I was exhausted.” you said. “You?”
“Not too bad, actually. Surprisingly.” He said, stretching out. 
You sat up on the edge of the bed, checking the time. 8:22. A little over six hours of sleep, you could live with that. 
“Hear anything from Sam?” You asked Danny. 
“Yeah, he texted me a little while ago. Said his night was pretty smooth, thankfully. The doctor came in and gave him his test results just a few minutes ago actually.” He continued reading his text. 
“Said it is bacterial pneumonia, which comes from having a cold beforehand and bacteria entering the lungs. Said it’s the more severe form, and he will need to stay in the hospital a few more days. He will have to have oxygen on at all times, breathing treatments, and a hard dose of antibiotics and fluids. Was severely dehydrated and lethargic… Other than that, that’s all they can do. Said he’s still coughing pretty badly and is out of it, mostly, but he’s resting now, and their mom was going to go see him after she took Josh to the doctor.”
You sighed a huff of relief. “Well, that’s better news than I expected to wake up to.” 
“Yeah, same. At least it’s treatable. I was really scared there for a minute, seeing his lips that color…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Fuckin’ scary.”
“Danny, thank you, for staying with me. I don’t think you know how much I appreciate it. I was scared to death last night, too.” You relented. “Can’t believe I got any sleep, honestly.” You chuckled. 
“You’re welcome, Y/N. You wanna go see Josh with me real quick? He’s awake.” He asked. 
“Yeah, let’s go.” You agreed to meet back at Danny’s room in a few minutes after doing your morning necessities. 
You pulled your phone from the charger, noticing a text notification. 
Oh my god, it’s from Jake. 
Your finger couldn’t open the notification quickly enough. 
Jake
8:09am: You’ll always be my family.
You felt like your heart could have burst into flames, lighting a fire in your soul that made you want to float away. Just from a simple text. Maybe there was still a chance he didn’t hate you entirely. 
A few minutes later, you and Danny were knocking on Josh’s door, and Karen met you with a genuine but tired smile. “Hi, my babies. How are you?” She brought you both into the room and gave you big welcoming hugs. 
“We’re alright, how are you?” Danny responded. 
“Oh, I’m okay,  just trying to be sure all my kiddos stay in one piece.” She glanced over to Josh lying on the bed, scrolling his phone. He raised one arm in the air, waving at you. 
“Hey, guys! Stay far, far away. Don’t want you catching this shit.” He smiled as best he could as he waved. 
“We just wanted to come say hi, Joshy. You guys heading to the doctor?” You asked them both. 
“Yes, gonna get him out the door now. Our COVID tests should be back soon. Said they’ll call us when they are. Then we can go to the hospital.” Karen answered. 
“Good, I was just going to switch out Sam when we get there, I’m sure he’s exhausted and needs a coffee or six.” Danny said. 
“Oh no honey, don’t worry. I’ll stay with him tonight. You need to be here, with everyone else. Take care of everyone…” Karen gave Danny a quick wink, knowing that his calm and level headed demeanor would be needed for making decisions for the band. 
“Okay, yeah you’re probably right.” He giggled. 
“Josh honey let’s go, let’s get you in the car.” Karen signaled. “Your dad’s probably pulling up now.” 
Josh looked horrible, too. Weak and frail and exhausted, a cough and raspy voice aggravating him. But he had a bit more energy than Jake did, able to pick himself up off the bed and walk on his own. He slipped his coat on and zipped it all the way up, obviously in the middle of the freezing part of his fever. 
“Fingas crossed it’s just the flu and not the ‘puh-nuh-monya’!” Josh joked in his brand new accent he’d just recently come up with, closely resembling how Elle sometimes would speak when she was in a goofy mood after drinking too much. 
“Whoa Josh, why did you just sound exactly like Elle when you said that?” You asked as you felt a real smile cross your face for the first time in days. 
“Don’t worry about it, dahling, I’ll see you in a bit. Go take care of my brotha.” He waved you both off as he stepped through the door after Karen. You giggled under your breath, happy to see him still in good spirits even being so sick. You and Danny shrugged to one another. 
“Guess that’s one of his new characters we’re gonna have to get used to.” Danny laughed, “Let’s go get Sam breakfast.”
——
After grabbing something that Sam would actually eat for breakfast, you and Danny made your way to the hospital. Luckily, their parents had driven separately, leaving you an extra car to use. When you arrived, you found that your COVID test wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours, due to the hospital being so busy and short staffed, and you being the last one out of everyone to test. They assured you it shouldn’t be too much longer, and they took your phone number to call you directly. 
Karen, Kelly, and Elle were gathered in the waiting room, on the off chance that their tests would come back sooner than expected. 
“I took Josh back to the hotel, he’s resting again. Got him his medicine and he said he was going to sleep the day away, thankfully it's just a chest cold for him. My poor babies.” Karen told the group. 
The elevator doors opened, revealing a very tired and very hungry Sam. He nodded his head to everyone, going straight for the coffee in Danny’s hands. “God bless your sweet soul, Daniel Robert.” He said, tilting the large white cup back like his life depended on it. Elle stood and greeted him with a hug. 
“Hey babe, you feeling okay? Your headache gone?” He asked her. 
“Yeah, I’m good now. Think it was a fluke. You make it through the night?” She asked him. 
Sam’s eyes cut to you. “Barely…” he said quietly. Shit. There was his warning look. That’s not good. 
Sam greeted his parents with hugs and reiteration of Jake’s most current status, which hadn’t changed much since the last news. 
“I need a shower…” Sam finally sulked as everyone broke off into separate conversations. 
“I can drive you, if you want. They said my COVID test wouldn’t be back until after everyone else’s. Plus I need to find Richard and tell him everything that’s going on.” You said. 
“Sounds good, let’s get on the road.” Sam said. You shot Danny a look that said ‘it’s ok, he and I need to talk.’
Sam kissed Elle on the forehead, telling her he’d be back in a bit, and the two of you left the hospital. When you got in the still-warm car, you and Sam stayed silent for almost the entire drive. You tapped your fingers lightly on the steering wheel as you let whatever station Kelly had playing on the radio sound out quietly into the car. 
“Next up this morning on WILZ 104.5 we’ve got none other than some Clapton for your mid-morning blues…stay tuned and keep that coffee flowing, keep your Monday going!” The radio DJ said in an all-too enthusiastic voice. The song that played next couldn’t have come at a more horrific time. 
Of course. 
‘Wonderful Tonight’ began playing quietly through the speakers. Sam scoffed, shaking his head. 
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He said, reaching over to push the button to silence the radio altogether. He shook his head as you took off from the stoplight, bringing his hand to his face as he gazed out the window. He took a deep huff of a breath. You didn’t even know what to say. He was being way too silent. 
When you finally pulled into the hotel, Sam told you he was going to take a shower while you talked to Richard, and to call him when you were finished and he’d meet you back at your room. You agreed, taking off across the parking lot to make a phone call you really wanted to ignore. 
——
Knock, knock. 
Sam had made it back to your room after an hour or so, and you’d mentally prepared yourself for what he was about to see. 
You opened the door, letting him into the room. “Hey, how was the call with Dick?”
“Not bad, actually. He understands the severity of Jake’s illness and is making all the necessary moves for the next few shows. Said he needed to talk to you, Danny, and Josh asap, um. I think he knows that…Jake’s gonna need some time…” you said, sitting on the edge of your bed. 
“Yeah I uh, I was thinking that too. Pneumonia recovery isn’t just a few days.” Sam said, pulling his still-damp hair behind his ear. “He’s gonna…he’s gonna be a while, isn’t he?”
You nodded reluctantly, the realization of what might need to happen with tour settling in. “Yeah, Sammy. He will.” 
“Fuck.” He sighed as he looked around the room. Here it comes... 
“Hey wait, why are there two beds in here?” He brought his questioning eyes to yours. You stayed silent. 
“Y/N, why are there…” he glanced around again, noticing that it appeared that the two of you were living on opposite sides of the room. 
He looked at you again, completely confused. Quickly his expression turned from puzzled to knowing. “Shit, Y/N…don’t tell me…”
He ran his fingers through his hair and leaned down, putting his face in his hands. “He told me he knows. He knows what happened. Last night…he tried to make me tell him…”
“Yes, Sammy. He knows. He’s known for a long time.” You said under your breath, ready for the blowback. 
“What?! What do you mean he’s known for a long time?!” He yelled. “Since when?”
You took a deep breath. “Since the night it happened.”
“WHAT? Y/N, you’re joking right? He’s known all this time? And he hasn’t said anything? Why?” He was frazzled. 
“I didn’t make it back to the room in time to shower. He was already there. He just, knew, Sam. He could tell. He made me tell him what happened. So I did…” you felt the panic creeping into your chest. 
“God, shit…” Sam stood up, and began pacing around. Finally he motioned to the beds. “So, are you…?”
You nodded again, trying to stay calm. “Yeah, we aren’t together anymore. Haven’t been since that night. He broke it off. We’ve been pretending ever since, to keep up appearances.” It pained you to hear yourself say you were actually broken up. “We didn’t want to cause a big scene right before we left for tour, so. We kept it to ourselves. It’s been awful, Sam.”
Sam stayed silent as he let it sink in. “No, no you can’t break up again. Things were just…you two were finally...I can’t let that happen, Y/N. No way…” he spat. “It’s my fault, too, not just yours. He didn’t tell me last night that you were broken up…”
You grabbed his flailing arms, bringing them back down to his sides. “Sam, listen. It’s okay. We are in a very weird place right now. And it happened at the absolute worst time possible, and now he’s sick…we actually just got back on semi-good speaking terms yesterday. We’re working through it, I think. Trying to give ourselves time.” 
Sam was letting tears fall from his eyes, now. “No, Sammy, stop crying, what’s wrong?” You brought your hands to his face, patting down his wild hair as you sat him back on the bed. 
He swallowed hard. “Last night at like 3 am, Jake went into some type of respiratory emergency, there were doctors everywhere suddenly, nurses crowding him, I–I’m probably naive but it seemed really, really serious. I was terrified, I couldn’t do anything to help him, he kept looking at me like ‘what’s happening, Sam? What’s going on?’” He swallowed hard again. 
“His eyes were so terrified, Y/N. I’ve never seen him that vulnerable. He was gasping for air, it was the most terrifying- I didn’t know if he was ever gonna catch his breath. It lasted forever…” he took another deep breath. “I didn’t tell mom or anybody about that. They don’t need to know. Just you. I didn’t know if he was gonna make it, Y/N. His lips were blue, his face was blue…” 
Sam’s tears were falling hard again. “I’m sorry, maybe I should’ve kept that part to myself.” 
“No, no Sammy. I’m glad you told me. It’s okay…I know that must have been so scary for you...” You answered, trying to console him. 
Finally he got enough gumption to speak again. “Long story short, Y/N, I truly thought my brother wasn’t going to be coming home with us there for a second. And I had just slept with his girlfriend. Cheated on mine. Lied to everyone about it.” He looked to you. “We were being selfish, Y/N.”
You nodded, his face inches from yours. “Yeah, we were Sam.”
“And look what it got us, in this fucked up predicament. My most favorite couple in the world, separated, because of me. I feel like absolute shit, Y/N. And I haven’t even told Elle, yet.” 
“Don’t blame it all on yourself, Sam. I followed you into the stairwell that night. I made that decision just as much as you did.” You licked your lips as he nodded. “But, I think you do need to tell Elle. But maybe not now. The timing is just…not the best.”
“I know. I will. I am. I promise, I am.” He said, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump that on you.” He laughed. 
“Sam, stop. You’re still my best friend, you know you can vent to me anytime. Always. Okay?” You conceded. 
He leaned his head on your shoulder as you both looked out the window into the foggy air. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. For everything. You don’t deserve any of this. Neither does Jake. I knew better than to press the issue that night.”
“I’m sorry too, Sammy. And I hope that when you tell Elle, she can somehow forgive us both. This is gonna be a long road for all of us.” You said. 
“Yeah, it is.” He said blankly. He raised his head up, looking directly into your eyes. He held his pinky out, biting his lower lip. “Never again…”
You sighed, grabbing his pinky with yours, just like you and Jake used to do when telling each other secrets.
“…Never again.”
——
The topic changed four times after your chat with Sam, and as the hours ticked by you could see the tiredness in his face and in his posture.
“Would you hate me terribly if I went and took a nap?” he asked nervously.
“No! Not at all! I’m shocked you made it this long to be honest.” you smiled.
“I–I hope your test comes back soon. Jake wants to see you. He asked for you all night.” he said, feeling your heart drop into your stomach.
“As soon as they call, I’m gone.” you say. 
“Good. I know you two aren’t on the best terms but there is no doubt in my mind, after everything I saw last night, that he still loves you. A lot.” he says, walking towards the door.
“I hope you’re right Sammy.” you reply, shutting the door as he slips out. 
The room falls silent. You look around seeing your things and his scattered around the hotel room, a pang shooting through your chest that he’s not here with you. Your phone buzzes in your pocket as you sit down on his bed. 
Elle
4:57pm: Hey babe, checking in…still bleak here. They are saying he’s doing a little better though. Still waiting on our tests. It’s ridiculous.
You
4:59pm: Hey, thanks for the update…I am anxious to see him. I’ll be there as soon as I get the call. Love you.
Elle
5:00pm: Love you too
After a few minutes of attempting to clean up the room, you decided on a shower, gathering your things and making your way to the bathroom. Stepping inside made your heart sink. Remembering the image of Jake laying in the tub calling for Josh. You swallowed back the tears and turned on the water, hoping one day you could forget that image all together. 
As you’re rinsing the soap off of your body you hear your phone ringing in the room. You quickly shut off the shower and wrap a towel around your dripping body as you sprint to your phone and answer. 
“Hello?” you pant.
“Hi, this is Ascension St. Mary’s, just wanted to let you know we received the results of your test and you are cleared to visit.” the lady said.
“Oh my god thank you!” you say, hanging up the phone.
You try to dry off the best you can, pulling your clothes on and running into the bathroom to dry your hair and do the most minimal amount of makeup. As you open your makeup bag you see your necklace sitting at the bottom, still mended together, and decide if there is any time to wear it, it has to be now. 
Five minutes later your phone is ringing again, Karen’s name on the screen.
“Hey!” you answer.
“Hey honey. We just got our results back. We are walking up to see Jake right now. Can you come up here?” she asks.
“Yes! I am leaving here in a few minutes.” you reply.
“Could you bring him a change of clothes for when they discharge him?” she asks.
“Yes! I’ll grab them now. I’ll see you soon.”
You run your fingers through your mostly dry hair and hit the lights on your way back into the bedroom. You walk over to Jake’s suitcase, opening it up and being completely enveloped in his smell. You close your eyes just for a second, letting yourself just feel for a few moments before opening them again and trying to find warm clothes for him to wear. 
You find his jeans, his socks, his boxers, but you’ve yet to find a clean shirt. Digging around in the bottom of the suitcase your eye is caught by a small white bag, old and tattered with the initials ‘AJK’.
What in the world is this?
You set down the clothes in your hands and grab the bag, sitting down on the edge of his bed. You pull the delicate strings and tip the bag out into your palm. 
A gasp leaves your chest as the gold ring tumbles to a stop in your hand. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest so hard you feel like it could cause an earthquake. 
A ring? An engagement ring? Was…was he?
A sob rips from your chest as you look at it, admiring the simple gold band and the small diamond fixed upon the center. It’s old, and cherished and beautiful and he wanted to give it to you. He wanted to ask you. But you ruined it. Everything was ruined. How long had he had it? When did he decide this? Why was it so perfect?
You throw yourself back onto the bed, letting the tears flow as you hold the ring in your fist. 
“I’m sorry Jake! I’m so, so sorry!” you cry into the empty room.
Your eyes are blurry through the tears as you try to focus on the ring again, watching the small diamond sparkle in the setting sun coming in through the hotel window. 
You did this. You deserve this hurt. You don’t deserve to marry him. He deserves someone better. Someone who would never, ever make him feel the way he feels right now. You did this.
You wipe your tears on your arm and sit up, placing the perfect ring back into its little pouch. You pull the strings tight and place it back in his suitcase, knowing that was probably the first and last time you’d ever see it. 
Continuing to sniffle, you try to resume your task of finding a shirt for him, seeing a black t-shirt still folded at the bottom, along with a folded flannel. Your flannel. His flannel. In a split second decision, you grab it and the t-shirt and add it to the pile of clean clothes you place into your bag. 
You close up his suitcase and grab your phone from the charger, making your way to the hotel room door, and down to the parking lot. Your parents had graciously allowed you to keep their car until you were ready to leave, and currently you had no idea when that would be. 
It was a short drive to the hospital, and as you stepped into the waiting room you saw Kelly, Daniel and Elle all sitting talking. 
“Oh my god you’re here!” Elle said, standing to hug you.
“They called me a little while ago, said I was good to see him now.” you reply.
“Honey, your eyes are so red, are you okay?” she asks, cupping your face.
“Yes, just scared about Jake is all.” you answer. Not fully a lie.
“Well Karen is up there right now, you just go on up and see him. He has been asking for you all day.” she smiles.
“Okay.” you say, nodding your head towards Danny. 
“He’s on floor four, room 403.” Kelly says with a soft smile.
You swallow nervously, making your way to the elevator and up to the correct floor, shaking with nerves. He looked bad the last time you saw him, but even then, he was still your Jake. He always would be, no matter what.
Shaking your clammy hands out, you lift your right hand and let your knuckles gently rap on the wooden door. Your heart is pounding out of your chest as you wait for it to open, and as the handle twists, all the breath is stolen from your lungs.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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sugurus-fave-monkey · 3 months
Text
Always.
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Everything about SatoSugu makes me absolutely depressed, so I thought I would contribute.
TW/Cw: AU( Geto doesn’t stop Gojo from killing the worshippers), death, violence, suicide mention, self injurious behaviour, depression, angst, living with guilt. Geto Suguru x Gojo Satoru
WC: Roughly 2200
“Suguru, should we… kill these guys? The way I am right now, I doubt I would feel anything?”
They had been only sixteen. Suguru didn’t speak at that time. He had turned his back on his one and only friend. He had heard the screams of the dying. The applause stopping at once. Satoru Gojo had snapped. And Suguru could have prevented it.
He could have walked back down the stairs, snapped Satoru out of it, and made up some story, that they had been attacked. But he didn’t. He ran away, the screams seemingly imprinted in his brain. He knew Satoru could find him if he wanted to, but he didn’t care.
Suguru had turned into an empty alleyway, clutching himself and emptying whatever remained in his stomach. He sunk down against the wall, running his hands over his face. It was all his fault.
“Satoru Gojo is henceforth deemed a special level threat.”
Suguru had cursed himself. If only he had said or did something. Of course nobody else had blamed him. Satoru had learned RCT, if it had come to a fight, Suguru likely would have lost.
As the days turned into months, turned into years, Suguru still questioned himself. What would he have done in Satoru’s position? What if he would have said yes and joined him? Could they have changed Jujutsu society forever? They were the strongest, after all.
Whenever those thoughts creeped into Suguru’s brain, he needed to take a cold shower, the shock of the water clearing his head, if only partly. He could scream, he could smash his fist against the wall of the tile, until his knuckles grew raw. He could stare, entranced by the crimson mingling with the water.
“You were smart to bring them back here, who knows what those people would have done.”
Shoko’s voice, reaffirming that he did the right thing. It took everything in his soul to stay level headed. How could people treat children like that? He wanted to slaughter them, torture them, but he couldn’t bring himself to commit such an atrocity.
The strong exist to protect the weak. With Satoru gone, and a potential enemy, Suguru needed to keep himself in check. If Satoru wanted to, he would be able to wipe out every sorcerer.
Nanako and Mimiko were instantly attached to Suguru, practically glued to his legs. They became a ray of light in his dark world. Made him cling to the small bit of hope that remained.
“There’s a teaching position open. We would love for you to take the role.”
Twenty four years old, and he became a teacher. He wonders if both Satoru and himself would have worked alongside one another. His bank of curses grows and grows. Exorcise, consume. Teach the young sorcerers how to reach their potential.
They watch in awe, as he makes the curses submit to him, spiralling into themselves, before only leaving a ball of their essence. He always walks away from them, turning his back on them. When he ingests the curses he feels his most vulnerable. The befouled taste of the curse, it causes his eyes to sting and water. He has to hold himself back from gagging, it’s like an oil spill in his mouth, leaving a stain in its wake as it travels down his throat. Satoru had been the only person he ever allowed to see him at his weakest. He would pull a sweet out of his pocket, gently placing a hand on Suguru’s back, soothing him as he retched.
And every time he had to ingest a curse, his heart ached, the memory of his best friend, creeping up on him. He swears he can feel Satoru’s hand on his back, but instead of warm and soothing, it’s icy, filled with hatred. And the dreams that come after, are always the same. Satoru’s charming smile and soft gaze turn malicious, full of hatred. Blaming Suguru for everyone who he killed.
“Yuta Okkotsu shall be executed, and the Special Grade Vengeful Spirit known as Rika, shall be exorcised.”
Suguru had fought against the higher ups, vowing to enact the execution and forcefully absorb Rika if it came down to it. How pathetic that they sit comfortably turning their noses up at things they don’t understand. Would it have been so wrong to destroy that village? Would Satoru have spared the kids life? He had been Satoru’s moral compass, and failed him when he needed him most.
Yuta amalgamated well with the other students, learning how to use Rika efficiently. Next year the school was supposed to take in another Zenin, a 10 Shadows user. Suguru wondered if Satoru would be proud of him. He didn’t have to wonder for long.
“Hey Suguru, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
Suguru’s blood ran cold, that voice, he would never forget that voice. Everyone had sensed Satoru Gojo’s presence, and quickly responded, but by the time they reached him, his arm was already draped around Yuta.
Suguru had fired an army of cursed spirits at his best friend, still not trying to kill him, but begging him, willing him to leave, and save himself. Suguru fought back tears, wishing he could just take Satoru and run away, leave this life of sorcery behind.
“I came to give you time to prepare. Yuta is distantly, a member of my family. I’ll be returning on December 24th to collect him. If you don’t want casualties I would suggest handing him over willingly.”
With that, Gojo was gone. Suguru’s heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest, still beating. So many emotions coursed through his body. He practically sprinted to his quarters, collapsing in front of his toilet, vomiting until his throat was raw.
He had brushed his teeth, before stepping in the shower, this time a scalding temperature, hoping to cleanse him of his feelings. He looked at his knuckles, faint scars on them, before sending his fist flying into the wall. He didn’t even feel the pain, it didn’t help anymore, nothing would help anymore. For a brief second he debated slitting his own wrists, but what would that do? The rushing water ate the sounds of his sobs as he lay fetal position in the tub, crimson once again mixing with the clear water.
“Where is Yuta? Nobody has seen him since last night!”
Fuck. Panic. Chaos. Suguru’s hand was wrapped in bandages,having hammered it until it was bleeding every single day. He focused in on Yuta’s residuals, following him.
It didn’t take long to find them. Yuta, with the help of Rika were managing to keep Satoru at bay. Suguru would later learn that Yuta didn’t want anyone to die for his sake, so his plan was to either kill Satoru, or die trying.
Suguru had approached Yuta, clasping a hand on his shoulder. He told Yuta that was enough and to give him his sword. He would be the one to kill Satoru Gojo.
“You’re late Suguru.”
Suguru put his all into his final fight with Satoru, unleashing Uzumaki upon him, and quickly closing the distance, sword in hand.
Satoru no longer fighting back, lying crumpled in a heap on the ground. He was even smiling as Suguru stared down at him with tears in his eyes. Everything had come to this, and it was now time to depart from this world. Satoru could have won, but he made this choice. He couldn’t bring himself to kill himself after everything he had done, he just hoped Suguru had the strength to kill him.
“Any last words?”
Suguru was willing to let him depart with whatever he wished to say. But wasn’t expecting what came out of Satoru’s mouth.
“I always loved you.”
Suguru felt the blow to his soul. He should have stopped Satoru. There were so many things he wished he had done. His stomach is a pit. It felt like someone blasted a hole into him with a shotgun. He tastes bile in his mouth. His mind is reeling. He tightens his grip on the sword.
“I will always love you.”
Suguru’s final words to his best friend. In a single slash, Satoru’s head was sliced off his body. A clean cut. An honourable way to die. Suguru can’t even look at the body before turning away, and heading back to the school.
The pain only deepens. Suguru takes on riskier missions, absorbing more and more curses. His knuckles never get a chance to heal, when it’s not enough he squeezes his nails into his thighs until he draws blood.
His dreams worsen, replaying the worst moment in his life. His eyes are constantly suffering with dark circles under them. He tries to spend as much time with other people as possible. He trains, his capabilities ranking him as one of the strongest sorcerers of all time.
He would never show his suffering. Especially not towards his students. He would smile at them, ruffling their hair, laughing at their jokes. Nanako and Mimiko looked up to him as a father, and he saw them as daughters. They would brush his hair out for him, and he would relax, the sensation soothing him.
“Sukuna’s Vessel, Yuji Itadori must be executed.”
Another child he has taken under his wing. He shouldn’t have sent the Zenin boy looking for the fingers. Megumi was still green, though talented it was too highly ranked a mission. Had Suguru gone himself, he could have easily absorbed the cursed spirit that had taken possession of the finger.
Suguru trained Itadori easily, summoning weak cursed spirits at first, then gradually increasing their rank, forcing Yuji to channel his cursed energy. The kid was a quick learner and Suguru was thankful for that, as it seemed since Sukuna had awakened, there had been more cursed spirit activity.
Suguru kept getting assigned missions that put him out of the country, and during those times nothing but bad luck seemed to befall the students. Sukuna had taken over Itadori, and somehow the boy survived. The Goodwill event had went to shambles with cursed spirits attacking the students. Geto had to unleash Uzumaki once again. Cursed wombs had taken form and attacked.
Was this all from Sukuna? The cursed spirits were strong, intelligent and seemed to have motive behind what they’re doing. Nanami had fought one that he described as patch face, having the form of a human, and seemingly enjoying toying with Nanami.
“All sorcerers need to report to Shibuya Station.”
December 24th 2018
Something was wrong. Suguru was the only one able to pass through the barrier. Everyone else was instructed to work on taking it out, to allow entrance inside.
Suguru felt chills as he walked through the station. He tried to get the attention of the civilians, but they were unresponsive.
The cursed spirits ambushed him. Suguru put up a good fight, but he wasn’t willing to risk the lives of the civilians, and he was unable to use RCT. He was still standing, but he knew it wouldn’t be long until he collapsed from blood loss.
“Hey, Suguru. Been a while, hasn’t it?”
Impossible. Every memory he had involving Satoru flooded his head at that moment. He managed to turn around.
Satoru Gojo, in the flesh stood before him, stitches on his neck, and on his forehead. There was no way. Suguru had cut his head off. Even with RCT a dead body can’t heal itself. Tears once again brimmed in Suguru’s eyes.
“You’re not Satoru Gojo!”
One last act of defiance.
“What the fuck are you?”
Pulling out the stitches. A brain with a mouth. Both mouths smirking at him. Replacing the stitches.
“Satoru, are you just going to let this thing have its way with you?”
Satoru’s hand flying up to his throat, choking him. But he was laughing. Satoru’s body made a hand sign.
“Don’t worry, Suguru Geto, I won’t need his body much longer. Hollow Technique: Purple.”
Death was painless. Suguru finally felt relaxed. At peace. His soul finally freed.
“You’re late, Suguru.”
His eyes snapped open. Satoru Gojo, complete with his sunglasses reflecting light, and his smirk stood above him.
Suguru’s body moved on its own accord. He ran to his one and only friend, embracing him, his tears finally spilling. He did what he should have done ages ago, and pulled Satoru in for a kiss. Needy, passionate, broken, desperate.
When Suguru pulls away, he sees himself reflected in Satoru’s sunglasses. He’s wearing his school uniform, his hair short and in a bun. It seemed his soul took the form of when it was the happiest.
“We can’t stay.”
Satoru confirmed what Suguru had thought from the moment he arrived.
“I know.”
“I love you.”
“I have always loved you. This time, I’ll get it right Satoru.”
And so they walked away, departing from each other once again.
“Suguru, should we… kill these guys? The way I am right now, I doubt I would feel anything?”
They are only sixteen.
“No. There would be no meaning to it.”
Suguru’s knuckles had been scarred as long as he could remember. They finally stopped burning.
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epitomereally · 6 months
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Celestial Navigation by @sabrecmc
18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.
An absolutely gorgeous story of learning to love yourself, even when you feel like you don't fit in & that you grew up wrong. I'm so happy to have gotten to bind this mammoth work for Sabre & as a gift exchange for @mourningmountainsbindery (who bound me this beautiful copy of Astolat's Let the River Run—JUST LOOK AT THAT COVER!).
Also to anyone who has @ed me lately (looking at u, em @powerful-owl & tacky @tackytigerfic particularly) & I've been derelict in responding, here is WHY.
This has been the longest binding project I've undertaken, both in page count and in time. My original message to Sabre was on March 16th—can't decide if I want to use the laughing or crying emoji here—and the colophon says I made the book in April 2023 (which was when I started typesetting, maybe). I had been randomly perusing dying videos on Youtube in bed on a Saturday morning, as one does, and came across a video showing how to spiral tie-dye. I IMMEDIATELY had a design premonition of the full design for this fic as a two-volume set, planted into my brain wholesale by the binding gods. I learned many new techniques throughout the process (edge painting, edge trimming/sanding, tie-dying/dyepainting, embroidery, typesetting meta from tumblr which copy-pastes with the worst goddamn formatting in the world, kill me now). Overall, alternately extremely painful & wonderful, and I'm extremely proud of this set.
Design-wise, I went whole-hog with the scifi stars theme. Endpapers are recolored versions of the star charts from the Apollo 11 mission:
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Title page & chapter titles are both rips in the galaxy:
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Epigraphs both star-themed:
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Some more glamor shots because I'm so proud 💕
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8.6 lbs // 3.8 kgs worth of books (~3000 total pages) 🥰
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Celestial Navigation is also INCREDIBLY popular, and Sabre has been incredibly generous answering asks on her tumblr + writing additional one-shots in the universe. There is also a veritable volume of fanart. I was so inspired by seeing @robins-egg-bindery copy of ********, with its appendix of fanart & meta, that I promptly copied them.
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fanart redacted because lots of the artists are no longer active on tumblr but just know i am ECSTATIC about the amount of art in these books
Lastly, I love how @clovenhoofbindery includes their 'Illustrator mess' with their bind posts, as a behind-the-scenes look into the wild process of designing these books. I don't actually have an Illustrator mess for this book (the chapter titles & title page pretty much came in one take), but I do have a DYING MESS. It took me sososo many tries to figure out how to get the dye to look how I imagined in my head. I ended up 'dye painting' instead of tie-dying in the end, but my inbox is always open to chat hand-dying/tie-dying/dyepainting (or what I did differently between any of these attempts). Numbers are the dying attempt.
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Last process shot: I hand-dyed variegated linen thread to match the colors of the bind, which ends up being incredibly difficult to see on the finished bind, but was super fun while I was sewing!
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Materials:
Body font: Kepler
Title font: Compaq 1982
Chapter number font: aliens & cows
Endpapers: recolored versions of the star chart used by Michael Collins during the Apollo 11 mission (archived at The Smithsonian)
Bookcloth: dyed using Dharma Trading Procion Fiber-Reactive Dyes
Title page and chapter headers: designed in Photoshop using the Ultimate Space brush pack by jeffrettalyn on DeviantArt
Metallic embroidery thread: Cosmo Nishikiito thread
I would dye for this embroidery thread. It is LIGHT YEARS better than the classic metallic embroidery thread from DMC: much easier to work with & much more sparkly. Literally so eye-catching; it truly doesn't translate to photos.
Paint for edges: Daniel Smith watercolor tubes in Iridescent Sunstone and Prussian Blue
Note: these are GORGEOUS watercolors. The color is so saturated and strong and beautiful BUT I don't think I'd recommend watercolors for edge painting. They went on very differently depending on the grit of the sandpaper I used for the edges + they sometimes bled into the pages + they had to be set with fixative, which then stuck the pages together.
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donnerpartyofone · 9 months
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I saw this post a few weeks ago that was like a chart from a psychology text that described how different sorts of childhood trauma can produce different dysfunctions, one of which was (I *think*) Emotional Neglect -> Magical Thinking. I was so intrigued by that. Magical thinking is sort of an umbrella term for the belief in a causal relationship between two unrelated factors; it can include wishing on a birthday cake candle; the feeling that The Universe is telling you to call your ex because something reminded you of them; OCD-type rituals that you believe will ward off misfortune; the deeper meanings mis-assigned to mundane events that can be produced by schizo-affective disorders; and also religious convictions to some degree, although those are rarely considered a clinical problem as with anything that helps or doesn't seem to hurt the participants. There seem to be as many potential causes of magical thinking as there are forms of the thought pattern itself, and trauma is an interesting one.
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It might be better to think of "trauma" as "helplessness" here. Magical thinking can help impose a feeling of organization where there is chaos and loss of any sense of significance. There was a lot of magical thinking going around in the gritty, depressed town where I'm from, and I often thought it was because of the persistent economic pressure. It's relatively normal for kids to be susceptible to spooky ideas, but many of the adults were also full of ghost stories and superstitions. I have one very sensible friend who is smarter than I am, who grew up there too, and we often reflect on this, which helps me know that this isn't strictly an idea I have due to my own social choices. My friend doesn't live in that town anymore either, but she's always digging up interesting stuff related to it, and one day she showed me the website of someone there offering his services as a paranormal investigator. He was in his 20s, and the site included a lot of unconvincing photos and a long, vigorous testimonial by the guy's mom. Part of me was dying to put it on tumblr, but it would only have resulted in unnecessary cruelty. I was as much a victim of magical thinking as anybody, and I think even when I was pretty young I was aware of what motivated me to be so naive and gullible: that a world full of ghosts and vampires and UFOs and such was preferable to what I normally experienced, which was a consistent sense of boredom and meaninglessness and drudgery and embarrassment and pain and suffocation in an ugly, flavorless universe whose nicer side was not going to be available to me. I had a lot of really damaging friendships with manipulative assholes and pathological liars because I was so very willing to believe the crazy things they told me, just in case any of them were true, because such a truth could change my whole life.
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Sometimes I think it's amazing that I never wound up in a cult, although I guess those relationships were sort of like little one- or two-person cults. Once in a while I read about some crime involving young people who think they're vampires or something, and I have a deep feeling of pity, because I think I know what they were going through (except for the part where they think they can do whatever they want to other people). The sad story of Shanda Sharer involves a whole group of badly abused and underprivileged teens, some of whom thought they were witches or vampires, and it just makes so much sense to me that they would be overtaken by these fantasies of secret meaning and power. Recently I watched Bad Vegan on Netflix, something that I avoided at first because I thought it was just about rich douchebags humiliating each other--which is like, what else is new--and to some degree it is, but actually it's way more disturbing than that. Ambitious young raw food entrepreneur Sarma Melngailis was manipulated, isolated, and ultimately kidnapped by this sadistic freak who preyed first on her loneliness and financial fears by pretending to be a rich suitor who could solve all of her problems; then he preyed upon her feelings of personal insignificance and failure by convincing her that he and she had been selected by a cabal of extraterrestrial illuminati who would make them immortal. Sarma seemed completely broken down to me, and I was amazed by her courage in describing the scam she fell for, that she must have known would invite derision. Part of the documentary explores her youth as a kid who always believed she could become something special, and then mundane tragedies like her parents' divorce brought her back down to earth in a painful way, and it seemed like she spent the rest of her life haunted by the idea that she might just be an ordinary failure of a person. I think that's part of what made her so vulnerable to this psychopath, that he was able to access her secret dream of having a special destiny. I got one of my friends to watch the show and she was very frustrated by it because she just couldn't figure out what Sarma's problem was that would cause her to ever believe the things she was told. I tried to reiterate what I've said here, but it didn't seem to mean anything. Ironically this friend is a practicing witch with formal beliefs in the supernatural, including that people can awaken special powers within themselves, but I guess one man's magical thinking is just um not another man's magical thinking.
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I still have a lot of magical thinking going, but it doesn't have the same character it once did. I tend to think of it more as "symbolic thinking"; I have a hard time accessing senses of meaning and hope, let alone any kind of self-belief, and sometimes symbolic gestures and concepts can provide that access better than my own direct, practical attempts ever could. It helps that I have a basic agnosticism about the invisible structures of the world, like it's easy for me to believe that there is more to life than what comes in through the five senses, even if I don't pretend to know entirely what that "more" is. That may help me believe that "anything is possible" and I shouldn't give up, even if I direly want to and I know I'm being kind of irrational. Magical thinking can be a double-edged sword, but maybe it's better than nothing.
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strawberryya · 11 months
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whichever blooms first
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Joshua x reader
synopsis: A dandelion is resilient, it can weather any storm, and at the end of its life it will even grant wishes to whoever sees its worth as something more than a simple garden weed. Your relationship with Joshua is the same, you hope, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to make a wish that your love will last a lifetime anyways.
word count: 2.0k
genre/contains: fluff, hints of angst, flowers, lots of flowers, established relationship.
rating: sfw, all ages
a/n: here's my secret garden collab fic for the warm summer days ahead. it's short but sweet, I can pinky promise that much!
check out the other fics in this wonderful collab with the amazing authors from svthub here!!
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The spring sun was warming the surface of your skin. A calm breeze swept by, ruffling the high grass in the field you were laying in with your boyfriend. 
Your head was in Joshua’s lap and his shadow worked as a way to avoid getting the sun in your eyes. For the past hour or so your mind had been completely immersed in the fantastical story you had been dying to read for a while, only just finding the time to pick up as the hectic spring period was coming to an end and summer was on the horizon. 
Joshua had been the perfect headrest and parasol the entire time, and you hadn’t paid much attention to what he had been doing. When you looked up it gave you quite the fright to find that he was staring down at you, a small smile gracing his lips and a spark in his eyes. A spark that both intrigued and terrified you since you had seen it before and what would happen next was always a game of guessing the impossible. 
“Why are you looking at me like you’re gonna do something…? 
He smirked, making you even more nervous. “Stop it!” You warned, but he didn’t stop. Instead, he gave you an even bigger smile and a nod, conveying the feeling of having made a decision in his own mind. “I think you need a new nickname,” he said. 
This was not the kind of mischief you had been expecting. Usually he would tease you, tickle you, or attack you with kisses. You stared up at him, trying to tell if he was joking with you or if his serious tone mirrored his feelings correctly. “Why?”
“Don’t know, just thought you looked like a spring flower and that you needed a name that properly reflected that.” he deadpanned. 
You couldn’t help but burst out in laughter at his cheesy line. “Oh really, am I that pretty today?” You said and pretended to fawn over yourself, hands underneath your chin and fingers wiggling as if you were a flower, making Joshua crack up as well. 
“You’re always pretty and you know it,” he chuckled, “but the flowers around here just seemed to match your gorgeousness so perfectly.” 
“I’m pretty like a spring flower!” you giggled and kicked your legs up into the air with a little shout of “Yay” before you relaxed and just smiled up at Joshua’s pretty silhouette that was being lit up from the setting sun behind him. “Are you serious about this, Shua?” you questioned with a small smile. 
“Which flowers bloom first after winter? Daffodils?" he said and quirked an eyebrow in question as to how you liked it as your new name. He was definitely serious, you realized. Daffodils are pretty, but their other name is narcissus… You looked at him with an offended look, “Are you calling me narcissistic?” you said as you gasped jokingly. 
Joshua gave you a dashing smile in return, making you instantly forgive him. “Okay, not that one…What about tulip?” You thought about it for a while, not bad, but it just didn’t feel right. Maybe they were simply too common, you thought. 
“Better, but there must be an even better one.” you decided. 
“Oh, I know! What do you think about dandelions? They’re pretty, but everyone doesn’t see just how pretty they are. Me, however, I see it and it is blinding.” Joshua said, looking down at you with an excessively smug face. You were going to protest. A common weed that grew stubbornly by the side of the road? Was that how he saw you? But before you could find the words your mind looped back to the book that lay heavily on your chest where you had stopped before. 
“Dandelion! That reminds me of a really cute quote I read just a couple of chapters ago!! They were racing with their horses and she was looking at the queen being all happy and carefree,” you rambled on, excited to get an excuse to talk about the book on your chest. “Wait,” you said as you picked up the book and began searching for the words you had been reminded of.
“Okay, so here’s the quote: “Ead felt her own cares lifted from her shoulders. Like seeds from a dandelion clock.” Isn’t that so pretty?” 
Joshua’s eyes were big now and his smile was one you had come to recognize as him thinking you were adorable. “What? Is it silly?” you asked, a little shyer than before. He had this eerie ability to make you feel so heard, so seen, and usually, it made you happy. Now you felt slightly embarrassed about having digressed from the conversation so suddenly. 
“No. I like it, it’s a great quote,” he reassured you fondly. “Dandelion it is then! Your new nickname I mean.” 
His smile shone brightly as he declared his final decision. “It’s bright just like you.” 
That smile, like every other perfect smile Joshua had given you over the years, quickly imprinted itself on your eyelids. The sight of his smile was as common as daffodils, but beautiful nonetheless. During those times when he had been unable to smile at you like this had been the hardest months of your life. 
You never wanted to go a single day without seeing that very shining expression on his face ever again. 
Joshua had turned his gaze toward the field of flowers, expecting you to go back to your book. When you instead began talking his head snapped back down to you, his pretty doe-eyes made your heart flutter just like they had done so many times before. “I wanna come back here later and make a wish on a dandelion clock. I wanna feel all my worries lift from my shoulders just like the seeds the girl in my book talked about. Could we come back once all of these have finished blooming?”
“Mm, of course. Could I ask you something though?”
You nodded. “What are you planning on wishing away?” he asked, even though something in his tone was telling you that he was a bit afraid of the answer. 
“Well, you know, it’s a bit silly to say it out loud like this… but I wanna make a wish that we can stay like this forever.” When recognition lit up in Joshua’s eyes you averted your gaze, instead opting to reach a hand out to play with strands of grass beside the baby blue blanket covering the ground below. 
“Do you still have doubts that we’re gonna last?” 
You heard the genuine concern lacing his voice as he found the courage to ask. You nodded slightly. “I mean, I know that you do love me. You’ve told me so many times. Some days it’s just harder to believe in what I know. I thought you loved me back then too, and still, we couldn’t do anything but fight.”
Joshua stayed silent for a moment. The buzz of the field and the birds in the distance filled up the silence. It wasn’t as awkward to talk about it anymore, you felt it in the way neither of you was getting angry. There wasn’t any frustration or tension surrounding that period of fighting and the weeks when you had broken up anymore. The relief was immense. You felt it in your bones. Maybe you were strong enough to weather any storm that may lay ahead if you had managed to heal and grow even past that horrible time in your relationship. At least you hoped so.
“Yeah,” he sighed, leaning back onto his hands in the grass. “I get what you mean.”
“I’m really happy now though, I hope you know that. I really wouldn’t change anything in the past if it meant I would lose what we have now.” 
Joshua’s face lit up into half a smile yet again. “Me neither.” With a soft kiss on your forehead, he lifted your head off of his lap, making you pout in confusion when he got up from your little blanket. “Wait here, I’m just gonna go get something, I’ll be right back!” 
“Okay, but where…” you began but changed your mind as you saw him begin to wander across the entire field, apparently searching for something among the high grass and wildflowers. You chuckled and went back to finishing the chapter you had left off at as you waited for Joshua to come back. 
It didn’t take long for Joshua to come running back to your blanket with his hands full of small yellow flowers with petals that sprawled out like a tiny explosion from their stems. You looked up at him as he dropped the flowers in a neat pile on the edge of the square of fabric splayed out on the ground before he sat down next to you, slightly turned away from you so as to not have his project within full view of your watching gaze. 
That didn’t stop you from curiously peeking over his shoulder to sneak a peek at his crafting. You weren’t sure what he was doing, even as you recalled childhood memories of doing the exact same thing as he was currently doing with the flowers he had picked. 
His fingers were surprisingly nimble for their size as he wrapped the stalks of each flower around the next one, forming a long string of flowers tied together. It was pretty, but your imagination ran wild trying to figure out what he was intending to make. A necklace? A rope? Why would he need a rope of flowers? 
As you wondered, Joshua looked back to see your confounded face as he began turning around, his hands very obviously hiding something behind his back. You were pulled back to reality when you heard him chuckle at your zoned-out expression. 
“Oh, you’re done?” you asked excitedly, putting down the book to pay all your attention to whatever Joshua had ended up creating. 
That mischievous look was back, his eyes shining in the light of the setting sun that was sinking down below the treetops. “Ready?” 
“Show me!” you exclaimed with curiosity. You gasped when he brought his hands out from behind him, showing you what he had ended up making. In his hands was a round wreath, dotted with the bright yellow dandelions you had seen him bring with him. 
“That’s so pretty Shua.” 
“You like it?” he asked, seemingly a bit nervous to hear if you truly liked his gift. You nodded and he softly placed the flower wreath atop your head. 
“Thank you, I love it,” you laughed, adjusting the flowers so they wouldn’t fall from your head. “What’s it for though?” 
“Well… it just means ‘I love you’, nothing more, nothing less, really.”
You pouted, he made you a wreath to assure you that he loves you? It was a strange way to tell you, but it definitely worked. 
“I just want you to know that you don’t have to wait until you can make a wish on the dandelion clocks to know that I will love you forever.”
“You’re gonna make me cry if you talk like that,” you said, fanning your eyes in an effort to stop the tears. 
“I have one more thing, so don’t cry just yet!” he hurried to say, making you laugh and pushing the tears away momentarily. 
From behind him, he brought out something small, it fit in the palm of his hand with ease. A single dandelion was wrapped around itself and created a ring of its stalk. Your hand flew up toward your face to cover the scream that tried to escape at the thought of what this ring-shaped flower might mean. 
“I know it’s not perfect, but… my dandelion, will you be mine forever?” Joshua was smiling again, encouraged by the way you were almost jumping up at the sight of his creation. 
Tears were pricking your eyes again, and you nodded. “Yes, of course, I will!” you exclaimed, your voice barely holding up as you shrieked and threw yourself into Joshua’s arms. His body wrapped around yours as he held you close, accepting all the kisses you gave him as the tears of joy flowed from your eyes.
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Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕
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mimymomo · 5 months
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It’s truly astounding how the people belittling Fearne’s feelings and growth the most are Fearne fans themselves.
Fearne/Ashley made it explicitly clear that she didn’t want the shard. She stated that it multiple times and went even further to explain that it scared her and TOLD ASHTON that she believed they should take it. They willingly went along with Ashton’s plan because she believed it was the right thing to do but as time went on, she grew more and more concerned but still believed in Ashton who kept telling her it it would be okay, downplayed the consequences (saying his death would be a funny story to tell and that’s all as if them dying wouldn’t be horrible and affect Fearne/the others because they genuinely can’t believe that his life is worth that pain) and said that she promised him.
Fearne said multiple times that Ashton didn’t manipulate her. Ashton wasn’t hiding their intentions from her — he told her the plan, they knew (some of) the risks and Fearne said she went aligns to hit because she thought it was the right move. You’d think Ashton had a gun to her head by the way the fandom is talking about the whole thing!
Yes Ashton was pushing and they never should have kept Fearne from telling the group the truth but she made her choice and it was a bad one out of love and care (and no Ashton did not manipulate her feelings/attraction to them to convince her: Ashton did not and still does not know the full extent of what Fearne felt towards them and when he kissed her, she had already agreed to the ritual and the kiss only made her really second guess).
Now am I saying that she’s equally culpable as Ashton? NO!
Am I saying she owes Ashton an apology? GOD NO! And thank god Ashton told her she didn’t owe them anything, he put her in such a bad situation and that was 95% on them. THEY FUCKED UP BAD AND DESERVED ALL THE TONGUE LASHINGS THEY GOT!
But the way the fandom presents the issue is as if Ashton was this maniacal, evil manipulator who preyed on Fearne solely because she was too good to say no instead of viewing the whole situation as it really is: a man who is fucked up asking someone they trust to join in on their stupidity without fully realizing how much danger, trauma and suffering he is going to put her through.
We can acknowledge that Fearne made a mistake by being complicit and used Ashton plans with the shard to justify (run from) her not having to take it due to her own personal beliefs and fears and use that acknowledgment to further show her growth as a person who will never let herself get thrusted back into that position again. That she can’t blindly trust and follow someone’s self destructive path if it’s gonna lead to her being hurt. This is a good thing! Let Fearne learn and grow from this! That’s what the whole Chetney discussion is about: no one’s blaming her, Ashley’s not dodging anything or protecting Taliesin/Ashton — this is Fearne being honest, taking agency, calling out her actions and growing.
Fearne messed up and was complicit in going along with the plan AND she has every right to be upset with Ashton for what they did and she deserved her apology are two statements that can (and should) coexist!
I’m so tired of people vilifying Ashton and making him come off as this terrible and evil individual when that’s not what this was. They aren’t. And then saying that he was throwing a pity party when in reality they’re coming to the realization that his behavior is his own fault and they can’t keep running and blaming others for the actions he takes and then apologizing and taking responsibility and ownership for what happened and saying they want to be better in the future.
The same fandom that worships the ground Percy steps on despite all the bs he put VM through, actually tried to argue that Essek — a character who due to his own hubris stole a priceless and ancient artifact that was essential to his country’s religious identity and nearly started a whole ass war — wasn’t a war criminal because the Geneva Conventions didn’t exist in Exandria (yes this actually happened to me at one point), seems to be unable to handle Ashton without any sort of empathy or understanding. A character who has been mentioned to be broken (physically mentally and emotionally) with crippling self worth issues who needs to be better in not only how they show they care, but in loving and caring for himself.
These past 2 episodes were so good but gosh some of the reactions have been aggravating
(Maybe I would accept people saying Ashton was manipulative more if they weren’t demonizing him in the same breath and acting as if they’re only only questionable bad egg in Bells Hells…)
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