#I can’t be normal about anything ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

urdadisgae · 7 days

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I don’t write fanfiction normally why am I researching the legal process of ecological restoration??? Isn’t this story about old man yaoi???

#fanfiction #old man yaoi #bagginsheild #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #bilbo x thorin #I can’t be normal about anything ever #archive of our own

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moral-terpitude · 1 year

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samtaylortattoos on Instagram.

#I can’t be normal about anything ever #tattoo stuff

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altschmerzes · 4 months

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…im having like. THEE most galaxy brained grey’s anatomy fic concept spring forth fully formed in my mind and it probably would sound inside to anyone else but im just. IMMEDIATELY enamoured by it.

#gav gab #something something meredith and cristina qpr that ends up including sex for Reasons #this starts while meredith and derek are broken up at some point #and when they want to get back together meredith is like. Okay. I’ll be real with you here’s what’s up #if you can’t be cool with that this isn’t gonna work sorry #and so pov you are derek shepherd this is all EXTRAORDINARILY strange to you but like #since when has anything in this house ever been normal #so there you are #back with your girlfriend. and your. girlfriend’s girlfriend?#(he refers to cristina this way exactly Once before she’s like ew no)#(I’ve decided never to be anyone’s girlfriend again) (aromantic)#and he’s like so. what do i-#meredith and cristina exchange a look #person. meredith says. she’s my person.#okay says derek. i can work with that.#and that is how this ends up #i dont want to write about the meredith/derek of it all lmfao #but i AM deeply enthralled by the idea of writing about the like #derek and cristina of it all #this sort of. half romantic half qpr polycule. cristina has her own room but sleeps in their bed a lot. it’s whatever.#I WANNA. WRITE THIS NOW. FUCK.

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hella1975 · 10 months

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ive attended six total therapy sessions in my life and it was with a free university counsellor and i told her one thing that ill admit was pretty concerning but aside that spent the entire time waffling about shit that isnt actually super important i was 100% just talking for the sake of talking with 0 intention of receiving help and then when she asked me to come back i never rebooked and now i think daily about the fact she has information about me written down and i sometimes convince myself she’s going to use it maliciously and it is something i actively regret because of aforementioned conviction. so all in all i’d say i handled the whole thing with the mental fortitude of someone in need of significantly more therapy

#and yet bc of that very reason i will not be trying it again ever you cannot MAKE me #my mum every now and then is like ‘you liked that one counsellor right? did you hear anything from her in the end?’#and I’m reminded i LIED TO MY MUM and said I’d asked for more sessions and was just in a queue bc the uni has high demand 😭😭#yk for someone w not a lot wrong with them & not nearly enough trauma to justify this behaviour i sure as fuck have to freak it sometimes #it was kinda funny tho bc the thing i told her that WAS real and concerning she just. did nothing about. like she kinda went 🤨elaborate🤨#and i went ‘…. nah’ and that was it she spent like 5 mins giving me shit advice and then i by accident missed our next session #and she was like OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE AVOIDING ME BC YOU TOLD ME A HUGE THING AND THEN DIDNT SHOW #istg that woman was so socially anxious i acc really loved her. shame i can’t be NORMAL ABOUT THINGS #hella goes to uni

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a-small-writer-in-a-big-world · 4 months

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Why now of all times of day do I have to suddenly start getting self conscious about my body

#vent #it’s hard to explain #I know that I’m more than my body #but I can’t help but think that the way I look #and the lack of anything appealing #has made it so no one ever notices me #idk #bleh #if I could I would change everything about it #just so I looked normal #also body dysmorphia go brrrrr #haha

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pinkspiraling · 1 year

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i do not fucking feel good

#idk how to describe it but i’m just so fucking anxious #and feel so so bad about myself and stressed and i just wish i didn’t exist #i hate responsibility or people depending on me i’m so bad at fulfilling expectations #i feel like a fucking failure. why can’t i be normal and put together and get shit done.#i don’t wanna do anything or go anywhere ever again i don’t want to participate in life #pink’s word vomiting

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angelbesideme · 2 years

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two cuties cuting together 🥹

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brookheimer · 1 year

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There's something else about Roman I've always noticed. Well, twice in Season 3. In episode 2 he says ironically the siblings are 20 something transgender dreamers, as in "we're obviously older cisgender non-dreamers", not touching upon their sexualities, and in episode 6 he says to Shiv when they arrive in the ultraconservative political conference that she'll soon get "white cis male stank all over you", not mentioning sexuality either. Like, if at least HE is present, gayness is assured, that's how I've always read it lol

yeah! i don’t think it’s, like, proof of anything like in my mind it’s less that gayness is assured if he’s there and more that jesse is deliberately leaving that part open-ended for all the siblings given that thus far all of them (barring connor i think) have had some pretty questionable same-sex interactions/other certain implications i must say. like idk i definitely don’t think roman would refer to himself as gay right now or maybe ever — i don’t think he’d refer to himself as any sexuality bc he doesn’t even know what’s going there, and until he undergoes a fuckton of therapy and unimaginable healing, i don’t think he’ll get there. personally i’m less in the gay roman camp than the ??????????roman camp like i honestly don’t think this man feels sexual attraction to people, but i don’t quite think he’s asexual either. i think he does feel sexual desire but not for specific people, more just generally or in relation to a power dynamic or a feeling more than anything else. but i do not think he ever looks at someone and goes “whew. they’re hot.” — i think he’s trained himself to bc he knows he’s supposed to, but innate attraction is something he’s never been able to comprehend. he’s never attracted to people so much as he is the relationship they have with him or the way that they view him. i think a lot of it depends too on whether you think he’s a victim of CSA or not which personally is a coin flip for me tbh — definitely possible, but i don’t think it’s the only explanation. he’s definitely too traumatized for intimacy but i don’t think that trauma necessarily has to be CSA, bc a lot of the shit we canonically know ab his childhood really adds up with his behavior in the present

sorry this got way outta control lol just thinking thoughts living life xx

#soooo many thoughts on roman’s sexuality and how for him it is inextricably tied to his sense of abnormality. that’s why it can’t be #gay or bi or straight — even being gay or bi is still a THING . like there’s a name for that. but w roman i think he fits into absolutely no #categories or labels. like it goes way beyond sexuality. he thinks there’s something fundamentally wrong with him like in his brain or his #dick or something that has crossed his pleasure sexuality etc receptors and made them go haywire. like he thinks there’s something so wrong #w him that there isn’t even a name for it that he’s the only one to ever experience it. like yes so much of roman comes back to love but i #think an equal amount of him comes back to abnormality too — his desperation to be normal and his deeply internalized sureness that he isn’t #like idk man. i just think if hr was something that was easily identifiable jed have a lot less issues. if he’s any distinct sexuality i’d #say asexual bc it’s the most Wrong in the roy family like even worse than homosexuality bc at least there you have sex. and all this family #knows how to do is talk about sex — literally every single situation is spoken about solely thru the language of fucking #but really i think it’s way too complicated to call it anything in particular bc so much of it has gotten confused by trauma #LOL sorry for ramble #asks #anon #succession #TW SA #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #roman roy

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arthur-r · 3 months

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something’s just not right / there’s hunger in my eyes, but you’re not looking into mine / in the morning light / i wake up next to you, but we’re no longer entwined / i want to love you with a ravenous hunger, tear your flesh into mine / you say you like me, but you’d rather that i listen quiet, keep it all inside / i romanticize a lust for blood and the glint of evil in your eyes / any kind of sign, something to tell me that your heart is burning just like mine / rend me to pieces if that’s what it takes to tell me that i taste divine / there’s something wrong but i just can’t quite place it, leave me on the precipice, i’m fine / something awakening and stirring inside me / i’m gearing up, your pretense in decline / i slice my heart up on a platter and find that you don’t even wanna dine / i gave my soul up, you can eat me raw / diced up and vulnerable, i’m yours to try / you’re glancing to the side, bored, and find that you don’t even wanna dine!!!!

#round 2 of recording my loser boring cannibalism song #(it has more words now. it is still not a complete song but it is getting somewhere….)#basically i really like cannibalism as a literary device and devouring somebody and being like violently enamored #and i convinced myself that my relationship was really good and healthy and i just don’t know how to handle a Good Normal Relationship #but secretly loving somebody should be at least a LITTLE BIT like cannibalism. especially if you’re me #so i got really hungry and he didn’t ever lift a finger for me or smile in my direction #and i wish he would just be hungry for me back. kill me a little bit if it would mean you care #i just thought that Normal People should be Normal about each other and he was just being Normal about me #when he like. did not prioritize me ever. and was only affectionate when he was drunk 🫠#he does NOT deserve to be the one who ended the relationship!!!!#anyway i would rather he eat me alive than not even look at me. and that’s what this song is about #and i’m gonna raise my standards so much fucking higher. he should be fucking hungry for me actually #literally and figuratively shdhdf i was always the one to invite him to dinner too.#and he was SHIT at communion motif. that guy had awful fucking table manners why did i date him #anyway shdhdf. idk here is round two of my hungry song #i’ve already changed the lyrics a little since recording this a couple mornings ago but it’s FINE my roommate is in here so can’t re-record #but: there’s something wrong but i’m not ready to face it. actually. cause it was so fucking obvious i was just willfully ignorant #anyways!! i’m feeling a little weird today and i haven’t done anything and i want to play music but i can’t. so i’m posting a song instead #and later i might be going to a concert?? we’ll see. if i’m feeling better physically by then!!#anyway i hope everybody is doing okay and lmk if you need anything!! sincerely arthur #me. my post. mine.#delete later (probably)#music

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twistedappletree · 13 days

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we could be really cute roller skating besties who jam to vaporwave and mallsoft in the city at sunset but nobody i know wants to leAVE THEIR FUCKING HOUSE & TRY NEW THINGS

#B R O #I HAVE MADE 5 NEW RL FRIENDS IN THE PAST WEEK #AND NONE OF THEM WANNA DO ANYTHING EVER #W H Y #like they’re cool people fr but 😭#i don’t understandddd why is is so fucking hard to find people who aren’t afraid of literally everything #what the hap is fuckening #a few years ago i had soooo many friends who were down to do whatever whenever #and it’s like that just #died in everyone around me #shit i know times are tough but it’s things like this that actually help make u feel better #i swear they do why can’t just 1 person trust me and take chance and leap & SEE what i’m talking about #😭😭😭😭😭#i’m gonna c r y i just want my friends to love life again #apple babble 🍎#non fandom #also i meant weeks not weeks lmao i don’t expect anyone to do anything in the 1st week omg #i’m not THAT bitch #WEEK****#jfc CAN I TYPE NORMALLY FOR ONCE OMFG #WHY DOES AUTOCORRECT CORRECT INTO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT THINGS

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jikigo · 17 days

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you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up #don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon #outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid #shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the #entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking #ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so #thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck #And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me #There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder #everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend #“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when #you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn #At least someone wants to talk to me #Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others #promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life #Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting #What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something #It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you #Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn #Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place #And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject #Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like #Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me #It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn #I fucking hate everything

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 1 month

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I’ve destroyed it all. The circumstances are not my fault; nevertheless, I am the straw that broke the camel’s back. I am the thousandth paper cut needed to end a life. I am innocent on my own; but with everything behind me I will be the one to bring destruction. I don’t want to be the cause. I never wanted this. I saw it coming miles away and I did it anyway; the worst part is that I see exactly where it’s going. Please let my intuition be wrong for once. This doesn’t feel real.

#I’m going to be fine. I’m about the only person who’s going to be fine.#We were born of the fire and now we shall die in the fire #exjw #pomo #Yes; POMO. But at what cost?#If it weren’t for the cult; we wouldn’t be together #If it weren’t for the cult; we’d still be together #I know I bitch and snark a lot but I don’t hate them. I love them. I think they’re good people and I like them. Genuinely.#I don’t blame them for everything. I can’t blame them for everything just like I can’t blame myself for everything #None of us are breaking us apart; a concept is. A concept that has more power than the bond between parent and child #ex cult #vent tw #I hate this I want it to end.#I want for none of us to be hurting or afraid anymore. I want us to be free to be with one another and be ourselves #I want us to love each other regardless of who we love #I’ve made it clear that I will not cut them off. If there is ever any restriction of communication between us; it will not be on my end #It’s such a silly thing too. I haven’t killed anyone. I haven’t done anything unspeakable. I’m an upstanding member of society #I just want to exist as I am. That is all.#What makes a cult isn’t just not being allowed to make your own decisions #it is also when the rules of the religion punish you unnecessarily for making normal decisions that should not cause turmoil

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to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky · 2 months

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I know it’s international asexuality day and we’re supposed to be proud of being ace and all. But idk. That’s hard when I really really hate that I’m ace. Being a cisgender heteroromantic sex-repulsed ace is not exactly a fun or positive experience for me. It is just me feeling lonely and defective and wrong all the fucking time. Like that’s genuinely great for all the aces and aro people out there who love it and can take pride in it. You’re valid and you’re not broken and I’m happy for you that you can embrace and celebrate this part of your identity, I genuinely am. But for me personally, I would give just about anything to not be ace, I hate it so much. Being ace has never not once done a single good for me.

#I’m sorry #but I just want to be normal #Yeah yeah yeah I know internalized acephobia and all that #but idk #being ace has genuinely never resulted in a single good thing for me #very very hard not to hate it when it only ever makes life more difficult for you #idk maybe it’s just that it combines with my other trauma and shit but like #I still hate it and would give almost anything to not be this way #I want to be lovable #I want to be able to be in a normal healthy romantic relationship #instead of being terrified of them and sabotaging everything because the person will want to have sex #And the thought of having sex with anyone is literally panic inducing #Anyways #please ignore me #im just being emo and sad #Because I have such an intense crush on someone right now #And I can’t pursue it because I’m ace and he’d want things from me and I’m just. I just can’t #I can’t even talk about being ace to people because no one gets it and it makes me soo uncomfortable to have to talk about it or explain it #so yeah he’s so nice and I really really really like him. But like every other of the few times I’ve been romantically attracted to someone #I’m not gonna act on it because I’m fucking ace and I’m gonna be alone my whole fucking life #Because no one would ever want to be with me given the way I am #God #sorry please just ignore me #Personal

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yellowsubiesdance · 2 months

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guys, i’m still in genuine shock

i finally, for the first time ever, got to hear my favorite fall out boy song with my own two ears live in concert

when i tell you. i am still reeling from it. the joy, the surprise, the excitement, the euphoria. i mean, i feel unreal at this point, i have waited so very very long to hear it. i have the whole thing on video. i actually managed to get the intro, because i really truly just had a feeling it was coming and hit record, i just had a feeling in my body that told me to start recording. i’ll share the video (even tho my screaming is embarrassing), and in the video you’ll hear me say “i just have a feeling” to my sister before it starts.

anyway, i’ve been through a religious experience tonight, and now i have to go back to real life??? like i didn’t just go to heaven and come back????

#how can i ever be normal about this #oh my lord #headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet #headfirst slide #i’m still in genuine disbelief #it makes me sick to watch the video. not bc of anything bad. but bc i literally can’t imagine something so perfect happened to me.#the autism is really autisming #fall out boy #fob

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callixton · 10 months

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crucially noel and julian are Absolute Fucking Freaks which really tells you everything both about them and me that you need to know

#like of course they can’t be normal about each other they have never been normal about Anything Ever in their Lives #god. i love them so so much #ted talks #noel fielding #julian barratt

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daylighteclipsed · 1 year

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the sp kids are so baby in the early seasons I’m gonna cry

#they ride trikes instead of bikes 😭 they go to swim lessons. they can’t pronounce taxidermist. don’t understand the value of 5 #thousand dollars. they have to ask chef what adult things mean #they think erection means resurrection #the crayon drawings in the classroom #it’s so cute I’m cryyi 😭#i don’t think I’ve ever really watched these beginning seasons #and i really like how sp feels like a small hick town and the supernatural element to it #in these ones #like it used to be a weird little town where weird things happen and not like #just satire about normal life #and the smaller cast reinforces the small town feel and means the characters are more fleshed out ig #i think the eps are better when they focus on the kids. like yeah just put those foul-mouthed 8 year olds in situations together #that’s what it’s all about #also kyle used to be so outta pocket 😭#cartman was a lot less despicable and i kinda feel bad for him #cause stan and kyle just rip on him before he even does anything like damn 😭#feel bad for kenny too cause they don’t seem to really give af if he dies 😭 they always make him do the dangerous stuff

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