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#I got this idea while reading a fic

transparentgayprotector · 5 months

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Lazerus water is Poop water.

Okay hear me out.

Hear me out, Lazerus water is always compared to sewage in DpxDc fanon, why not go all the way?

Danny might have to destroy some Lazarus Pits because of the Rats but he's not happy about it.

Since he always said they stink can I tell you what I think they are to him and everyone else in the Infinity Realms?

Pariah Darks Poop and Pee. He was the only one who didn't have a sewage system because he was too busy being a bitch.

That's why the color is different, like digested food looks different out of your body.

Danny can tell people when they finally ask him that too.

Danny: Yeah they're bathing in the waste of the old King. The reason your acting like shit is because you've got literal shit in your chest. Gross.

The Old King was a big gu who most likely had a some holes he would just poop in on some random dimensions planet.

When the pits were put there, humans probably were small in number, and many animals stay away from waste matter in large quantity, except Rats and roaches, which The League of Assassins are now.

Damian attitude changed because he got away from the sewage and started eating Real food(Natural Ecto).

Jason was dumped in Shit after being brought back to life by the natural Ecto, but Gotham is so cursed he kinda needed a minute to process his food because he was given too much, Like a feast when your stomach is small.

That's why his mood swings were so severe. He was given good food then forced to eat shit. He's constantly trying not to vomit (pit rage) because he'll lose the good food too and probably die again. Or constipated. Yeah he's also ghost constipated because of the Lazerus Pit.

Anyway, essentially The League of Assassins are Rat people, Ra's is the King of the Rats and Now Danny has to deal with them.

Will Danny's poop do the same thing? No, because he's half human and poops in much smaller quantities than a guy the size of a building while using a proper sewage system in his paranoid parents house.

They most likely do something to the sewage anyway. Danny too after he looks at the Rat People bathing in ghost poop.

Plus, he never uses the Bathroom in his ghost form, only him human one.

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total-drama-brainrot · 19 days

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This Alenoaheather AU is bringing me an unholy amount of serotonin and I love it- I’m still just now discovering it and I wish I knew about it sooner😭😭 But question if I may!

So, by the time Noah gets eliminated, where would you say his relationship lies with Alejandro and Heather? Like, does he leave the competition like, “You both tried to play each other, but I ended up playing the both of you, L” Like does he just think that Alejandro and Heather only romantically like each other, and he was just their attempt at emotionally manipulating one another, or does he at least have an idea that they potentially may feel romantically towards him? Honestly I’m just curious about how his elimination would play out between the three of them-

I'm glad other people are enjoying this AU as much as I am. Me and Perp are slowly spreading our Alenoaheather propaganda and it's working.

It's been established that Noah's elimination in this AU will take place at some point in the early post-merge game, probably either China or the Serengeti (though Niagara Falls might work too. We haven't exactly touched on how each challenge can/will play out since this whole concept has been put on the backburner), which gives his dynamic with Heather and Alejandro time to blossom from the initial double fake dating ploy into something more genuine.

Well before his elimination, Noah's been caught in his double-crossing ways; or to be more accurate triple-crossing, since Noah initially decided to play along with both Heather and Alejandro's schemes with the intention of throwing them both under the bus (or at least reaping all of the benefits for himself). But, by the time his ploy is figured out, the three of them have developed genuine feelings for each other.

As such, Heather and Alejandro are hesitant to have him eliminated; sure Noah somehow managing to pull the wool over their eyes for as long as he did was infuriating, but it was also impressive. Like recognises like, and the two biggest schemers in the game can appreciate when they've been outplayed, aggravating as it is, especially when the person who bested them essentially used their own trickery against them. Also, though the two of them would never admit it, both Heather and Alejandro know that they'd honestly miss Noah's caustic company.

Of course, at this point in the competition Heather and Alejandro are still deep in their "rivalry" phase, so it takes the two of them a very convoluted and overcomplicated conversation to figure out that they both share the same sentiment concerning a certain cynic- since every encounter they have with each other is practically a game of backhanded compliments and dancing around the true meaning of their words. It takes even longer for them to come to an agreement, given how stubborn the both of them can be, but eventually they manage to co-operate.

Which is what leads to The Confrontation, the point in the story where the two fake dating plots merge into Heather and Alejandro putting aside their differences to rule the game together, utilizing Noah as their shared right hand man since he's shown a knack for strategy and subterfuge. After all, why would they want to get rid of the one person on the jet who's able to go toe-to-toe with them in terms of scheming, when they can instead keep him around as an accomplice?

At least, that's the excuse they both use. But the two of them internally can't deny that, even if it was all pretend, Noah wasn't a bad "boyfriend" by any means, and they genuinely enjoy his company. In turn, Noah's accepted that neither Heather nor Alejandro are as insufferable as he initially assumed, and that playing along with their grand plots is actually really fun. (And maybe he also likes the two of them, but Noah would never admit that.)

But there's a a whole cast's worth of people on the jet who the trio also have to consider in their plans; it would be super suspicious of all three of them if the flirting and Aleheather's animosity suddenly ceased. No matter how oblivious the rest of the competitors are, a sudden public change in their dynamic would be the equivalent of waving a huge red flag and screaming "hey, we're in an alliance, vote us out!" Very counterintuitive to their goal of winning the competition.

So the three of them resolve to act as they have been during challenges, and sneak off to the confessional when it's most convenient/feasible to do so, where they can plot and scheme away from the rest of the cast.

This means that, at least to everyone else in the game, Noah's still in this weird grey area where he's actively flirting with both Heather and Alejandro. Or, well, "flirting", since I imagine most of the advances would be initiated by the other party and Noah would play the part of the blushing damsel- or more accurately the begrudging but highly amused recipient, since I just can't conceptualise snarky, stoic Noah being the type to get flustered easily.

I imagine The Confrontation would happen somewhere around London timeline wise (it just feels like the most appropriate place to have a major shift in the plot happen, for obvious reasons), which would give the initial fake dating aspect of the AU time to run it's course without getting stale, and allow the three of them to establish their dynamic as a trio before the merge hits. It'd give Alenoaheather around five or six episodes worth of time to grow closer as a trio (from Greece's Pieces to Niagara Brawls, at least) and have their feelings grow and develop at a natural pace, to the point where they acknowledge that, perhaps, not all of the romantic tension between them is fake.

And then, of course, the Fake Cheating Arc happens. Noah's elimination is the catalyst for this section of the plot, which Perp and myself touched on pretty heavily in one of our reblog chains, and at this point in the story Alenoaheather are in a sort of vague kind-of-dating situation; the three of them know there's feelings there, but they're all more invested in the competition (and their manipulation of such) than trying to figure out what exactly is going on between them. Plus, World Tour takes place in 2010- concepts like polyamory weren't exactly common knowledge back then, so the three of them wouldn't have any basis of comparison for what their dynamic is/would be.

That, and the three of them are all fairly emotionally closed off, so getting them to admit genuine feelings for each other and show vulnerableness to anyone would be like pulling teeth. As it stands, they're fairly content to continue acting as a Trickster Trio, contented to leave whatever's going on between them unlabelled for the time being in favour of focusing their time and energy on winning the million. There's an unspoken understanding between the three of them; what they have is special, inconceptual and indescribable by mere words... which is mostly just an excuse for the three of them not to breach the subject, since they have the collective emotional intelligence of a spork.

That doesn't mean they don't love each other. Because they do, even if some of them (Heather and Alejandro) aren't exactly familiar with concepts like "unconditional love" and "loyalty/compassion for someone besides yourself" and "lowering your emotional walls and being the most genuine version of yourself in front of the people who care about you". It's a steep learning curve, but they're doing their best.

But that's besides the point; at this point in the plot, the trio are essentially a throuple in all but name at the point of Noah's elimination.

That's why his suggestion of playing off of his "cheating" is initially met with hesitance on Aleheather's part- they don't want the one person on the jet (besides each other) they actually care about to risk his reputation, but they also know that it's a strategically sound idea. There's a conflict of interest between their desire to win the competition by any means necessary, and the budding sense of empathy they've both began to develop as a result of their situationship.

Of course, they eventually agree to his plan, and then the whole Cheating Arc plays out as it's been explored previously.

Which means Noah's actual elimination ceremony is a very tense affair.

He's intentionally playing himself up as kind of a scumbag during it, since he wants both Heather and Alejandro to appear as sympathetic as possible to the remaining competitors, so the three of them stage an altercation during that day's challenge where Noah's caught out in his "cheating", and consequently "admits" that he's been playing the two of them and it's all ingenuine on his part, to direct the majority vote against him. It'd kill two birds with one stone that way; Noah gets himself eliminated without having to do much out of the ordinary, since he's already kind of an asshole so all he really has to do is play up that aspect of himself a little and lie about manipulating his partners, meanwhile Heather and Alejandro can reap the benefits of whatever brownie points they gain from being his "victims" by using their own manipulative prowess to adopt the role of the ex-villains, redeemed by their shared heartbreak. Or something equally melodramatic.

Noah doesn't really care about the specifics of it, he'll be long gone before his partners can start playing up their "betrayal and heartbreak", and then soon enough one of them will win the competition. And spoil him rotten with their money.

So, during the actual ceremony, Noah becomes persona non grata. No one wants to sit anywhere near him on the benches, and the remaining cast members form a protective wall between him and a distraught Heather, who sniffles back quiet tears every time her eyes wander too close to the cynic's slouching, impassive frame, and Alejandro who's sat eerily still and taut with disgraced fury, who's fiery green eyes haven't strayed from the burning glare he's shooting towards the bookworm.

Not that Noah's a stranger to receiving glares; the rest of the cast are also shooting him some downright murderous looks. Though he is impressed by his partners' acting abilities. He's also physically biting back pearls of laughter- the gritting of his teeth only serves to make him look unapologetically indignant, and thus more irredeemable in the eyes of their company- because every time Alejandro knows that no one's focus is on him, he sends his cerebral partner a cheeky wink and a smirk. The smug bastard.

Unsurprisingly, the vote is fairly unanimous. Chris doesn't even bother trying to raise suspense or tension by counting the votes, since the result is inevitable. That, and the atmosphere is already so tense and dramatic, the host is revelling in it. Chris even goes so far as complimenting Noah for outshining Duncan's cheating fiasco, showing the audience "what real relationship drama looks like", and maybe even congratulating Noah on almost being as heartless as he is.

He's escorted to the Drop of Shame, parachute backpack in tow, but before he can take the plunge he glances back at his audience. A raging sea of hostility greets him, but within the depths of animosity two shining beacons of light greet him. Alejandro and Heather shoot him a fleeting wave, the ghosts of smiles flickering across their features before they continue their flawless acts, but it's enough to reassure Noah that everything will be fine.

(Spoiler alert, things don't end up being fine for Noah.)

Of course this is all just an idea I'm spewing out. Nothing in this AU is set in concrete and it's always open to peer review or change. That's the beauty of public AUs; you can do whatever you want with them!

#is this anything? i just got home from work and sort of typed this out in an exhausted haze #me when i see the word “alenoaheather”: 🏃‍♂️💨#to be fair i did take a break in the middle of writing this to read kijo's newest fic (it's also alenoaheather and it's INCREDIBLE)#uhhhhh #honestly now i kind of want to make an off-shoot of this au where noah really IS that much of a dick--#and IS playing with their feelings and hits the fortnite Take The L dance during his elimination #“L + Ratio + RIP Bozo + I never loved either of you. Peace ✌”#but for this au. yeah. they love each other so much. it's disgusting #i think me and perp touched on it a little but they do have a situationship going on pre-elimination #it's untitled because the 2000s were awful for any relationship that wasn't straight and monogamous #these three are rediscovering polyamory like a group of cavemen reinventing the wheel. it'll take them a while to fully figure out--#but what they've got going on works for the time being!#need to gather The Council and make us all have a brainrot session over this AU at some point #total drama #td alejandro #td heather #td noah #alenoaheather #fake dating au #silly ideas #long post #replies

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poly-space-nerds · 2 years

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Finally, after centuries of pining for this dark haired man in front of him, Hob holds Dream in his arms.

Finally, he thinks, as Dream kisses him passionately, hands holding his cheeks close. He opens his mouth, tongues sliding together.

He tastes- He tastes like- What does he taste like? Rain? A forest? An aged book? Blast. How come book characters always know what a person tastes like? See, this was why I was never a poet. It’s okay though. Maybe Shakespeare turned his head but look who’s holding him now? Ha you-

“Have you gotten lost Hob Gadling?” The voice of his stranger gets him out of his thoughts. He’s about to make an excuse when he sees the look on his lover’s face. It’s incredibly soft and fond. The corners of his mouth are lifted almost as if he’s amused by Hob’s daydreaming.

“Oh bugger off.” Hob says as he captures Dreams lips again.

#i had so many ideas while writing this #bc at first i was just in love with the thought of adhd hob getting distracted and dream being fond about it #but then i thought #what does daydreaming/getting lost in thought mean to dream #is he flattered by it? does it make him feel closer to Hob?#THEN i thought #oh shit what if kissing dream makes people like want to daydream more #the kissing the personification of dreams might make you dream a little yknow?#god i love all of these reasonings #btw this started bc i was reading a dreamling fic where they were kissing and hob explained what dream tastes like #and i thought abt that post that was like ‘do fanfic characters have better senses or something???’#and THEN i got the idea of the person being kissed also getting lost in thought with that post #so i wrote this #it’s been 20 minutes i need to get back to that fic #dreamling #centennial husbands #dream x hob #hob x dream #dream of the endless #the sandman netflix #the sandman #robert gadling #hob gadling

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petricorah · 11 months

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humble offer of an au instead of (a continuation of) divorced zukka

Zuko fakes his death:

Someone's been trying to assassinate him. It's long after Sokka leaves, and they aren't together. Maybe they had something once, and Sokka always thought they'd end up together, but they aren't together. And he hears word of the fire lord's death all the way back in the water tribe. How there was nothing the Kyoshi Warriors or the palace guard could do, and he was killed.

There are no remains.

He goes to the funeral, and it's this big dramatic ordeal (because they're trying to really hammer in that he's "dead") and Sokka's a mess. A complete and utter mess. He can barely function, and he's angry, especially at Suki, because he doesn't understand how she isn't more upset (she knows Zuko's still alive. She tries to talk to him, but he pushes her away, and they're never able to talk in a private place.) But more than that, he's angry with himself. Because if he hadn't left, he could have saved him. He could have been there. He thought they had a future together, that they couldn't be together now, but someday they would, and that all goes up in smoke.

And then Zuko's alive. They were able to apprehend the mastermind with the guise, and Sokka should be happy, but all he feels is emotions he can't understand. He feels betrayed.

"You were in the water tribe," Zuko said. "I couldn't tell you--"

"You died. You were dead. I-I went to your funeral, I mourned you."

And he wants to be angry, he wants to hit him, to make him feel a fraction of the pain he felt, but he can't hurt him, not ever, and the only thing he can do is crumble at his feet because Zuko is alive.

#death tw #...yes this is partially inspired by middle school me watching bones and having that episode locked and loaded in my memory #anyway in bones i thought the excuse they made for not telling her was stupid so here my reasoning is...distance? idk it kinda falls apart #when sokka arrives for the funeral so if anyone has ideas as to why sokka can't know id love to hear them #or ideas on how to really twist the knife #like maybe this isn't full divorced maybe this is just like they had a fight and sokka left for a little while and reaaally feels guilty #but it was actually because i was thinking of sokka's canon death and how i would love for it to be fake #i really like the idea of zuko mourning him in a completely wrecked room things half burned as he turns away all the guards #zukka #surely there's got to be fic for this. anyone know??#<----i say being very bad at actually sitting and reading fic

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damnprecious · 9 months

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I remember seeing some theories floating around that maybe Law would end up doing the eternal youth surgery on Luffy

and I just keep thinking about how much Luffy would actually hate that

not even the aspect of you know, Law Dying in the process, someone else he cares about giving his life for him

but like. we have this kid who spent his childhood so damn lonely

so lonely that he didn't give up on befriending Ace (and Sabo once he met him too) even though Ace beat him up and very much tried to kill him etc etc for Months

and then Sabo died and then Ace died and he didn't have either of his brothers anymore (even though Sabo came back) and then he lost his crew bc of Kuma and didn't have a clue what happened to them

so like. I'm just imagining a scenario in which Luffy ends up immortal

but his nakama isn't

except Brook, unless his body gets destroyed of course

the friends he has made along the way aren't

except maybe Marco with his phoenix powers

so just.

the idea of Luffy ending up immortal, doomed to lose his nakama to time

almost completely alone

it's just heartbreaking

#noopa rambles #one piece #one piece theories #one piece spoilers #monkey d. luffy #I personally am very much team 'law for the love of god please Never use that operation'#law is my blorbo and I need him alive thank you very much #anyhow if anyone feels like writing a fic on this I'd be happy to read it lmao #I don't think I got the brain cells for it #but like. the eternal suffering of loneliness is just. so tasty #I've been a big fan of the Brook and Marco's eternal damnation for Years #(cyborg_franky on ao3 actually wrote a fic on it based on an idea I had on it a while back it's great)#but imagine giving luffy some eternal damnation #luffy with the lonely childhood and the burden of law's sacrifice #tbh I should go look if there already are fics with this theme #I generally gravitate towards other character centric fics more or like asl brother content #anyhow this has been my monologue

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churchydragon · 3 months

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Non Sentient Solstice would probably eat inedible stuff a lot because they also arent aware of what is safe to eat and what is not unless specifically told

tbh no one would be too worried but they wouldn't encourage it either. or rather they wouldn't worry unless they were told bots like Solstice can't digest stuff like wood or metal and other "inedible" things. then they would go "no no don't do that!"

#the CSS bots aren't really limited to just human food. if it can melt or burn in their fuel tank then it's technically food #it just might not taste good lmao #I actually got this idea from a fic I read a while back #in it the animatronics were upgraded in preparation for reopening but then abandoned and were implied to have started eating the walls #and then in a later chapter Moon ate a dead bird and the nest it was in #I need to find that fic again #churchy talks #css rambles #crossover rambles #asks

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tswwwit · 2 years

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And here's Bill vs Bill, aka the Pinnacle of Billmei vs Billge's Faceoff, part three. Not the finale, but that's coming very soon!

I am now going to go lie down and take a nap.

-------------------

“You’re not gonna get what you want,” Bill says.

“Thanks.” Dipper had guessed that part five minutes ago. He rubs at the bridge of his nose. “Really great to know.”

He stares across the bare dirt in front of him. The sigils are scrawled on with a stick - he didn’t have anything else on hand - and he wasn’t expecting company.

Company he’s currently trying to ignore.

“I had to say something! You’re terrible at this.” From the side of the clearing, Bill snorts. “You need all the help you can get.”

Commentary from Bill never fails to be unhelpful. For the first time in a while, Dipper finds himself genuinely, unflirtingly irritated by it. Tension has been building in his shoulders for the last day and a half and they’re starting to ache.

Bill Cipher lounges on a stump nearby. Seated in a way that couldn’t possibly be comfortable for a normal human, but has the appropriate level of drama for a demon.

He’s spent most of the last half-hour mocking Dipper’s futile scribblings in the dirt. An unwelcome interloper, in multiple senses.

Ditching this Bill to go experiment in the forest has been a total loss. All Bills are smart, and for all that this one knew so little about their situation - still doesn’t - he’s somehow latched onto being able to locate Dipper, easy as anything.

“Do you mind?” Dipper reels on him.

“Often, as you know!” Bill shrugs that off with a grin. “C’mon, you need me for this!” He adds a slow, unsubtle wink. “Besides, all our other stuff worked out!”

Dipper makes a disgusted sound, and hears Bill start to chuckle.

The one good thing about interacting with demons? Is that Dipper doesn’t have to pretend to be nice.

Even though Bill doesn’t have the entire picture, he’s clever, and he can make inferences. All of Dipper’s reactions have shown him that this human’s not servile. It’s just enough to accept it as par for the course.

He knows that Dipper knows he’s a demon - but not that Dipper knows about demons, and how they do… stuff. As far as this Bill’s aware, the non-flirtatious insults are just how they interact. That Dipper, of course, wouldn’t know that some other ones have… implications.

There’s no reason they would be flirty, anyway. He thinks they’re just -

Buddies.

God, Dipper hopes his Bill won’t learn about that part. It adds another layer to the joke, and not one that works in Dipper’s favor.

Dipper breathes in, then out. Trying to relax, though his back and shoulders aren’t cooperating.

He looks back at the interdimensional asshole and asks. “Why are you here?”

“What, did you think I wouldn’t show up?” Bill rests a hand on his chest, a near-perfect picture of surprised innocence. “Like you’d get rid of me that easy..”

Dipper tries not to grit his teeth. He stomps deliberately on the ground as he turns away.

“C’mon,” Bill’s voice is coy and almost cloyingly sweet, in a way that makes Dipper want to spit. “All this dimensional stuff you’re looking at. All that curiosity,” A tinge of something else enters his tone. There’s a soft pat, probably in his lap. “I got all the knowledge, right here! Why not enjoy it?”

Dipper picks up the stupid stick he was using to draw his stupid improvised signs into the dirt. He scrapes down a few more, simply out of spite.

He looks like a six-year old playing at being a magician, not a real one - but it’s better than letting Bill win.

For the second time ever, Dipper Pines has the dubious honor of being the focus of a Bill Cipher’s intense interest.

It’s mostly because of his world-conquering plots, of course. Somewhat because Bill’s learned that this dimension comes with… extras, he guesses. Not that he’s getting any use of them. And partly because…

Okay, Dipper’s not sure what the rest is, but Other Bill has a way of leading down tangents that Dipper would, in any other instance, pursue. He’s had to not argue a surprising number of times.

Dipper won’t let this guy drag him into some coquettish debate over…. leyline geometry, or anything else. Even if it’s tempting. Dipper’s dug in his metaphorical heels, because being led down that road can’t end well.

Maybe Dipper’s home dimension has something in the air, or… ether or whatever. An ephemeral thing that turns a Bill extra weird, because this doesn’t seem like it’s ‘universal’.

The alternative would be that this is kind of multiversal, and that would mean -

Dipper grimaces.

Demons are dangerous. Bill’s the worst of them.

Luck…. wouldn’t always run in Dipper’s favor, he thinks.

For the sake of his remaining sanity, he’s decided not to think too hard about it.

“If you want results, you should be working with my information, not whatever crapshoot you have going on in your noggin.” Bill adds, rather pointedly pointing to the papers he tossed on the ground. They’re spread out in a loose pile, even when he could have neatly stacked them. “Take my word for it!”

Dipper doesn’t have a good response. He shrugs instead.

The wind blows gently through the clearing, and Bill makes a face as some of the pages get caught. He raises an eyebrow. Jerks his head towards them, with a smirk.

And fuck that.

There’s no way Dipper’s going to rifle through that mess, much less chase after it. He has some dignity, and this Bill would just love watching him scrabble through the dirt for scraps of information. Dipper refuses to entertain him. Hell, he wouldn’t do that even for his own Bill.

And second -

That information is absolutely, 100%, a poison pill. A trick.

A little over thirty years ago, Bill Cipher - a Bill Cipher - nearly led Stanford Pines into ruining an entire dimension. The only reason he got caught was because Ford, in pure academic diligence - noticed something very, very subtly out of place.

Ford might be oblivious to personal interactions - but he’s downright incredible when it comes to scholarship. Even then Bill nearly tricked him into a cascade failure of literally disastrous proportions.

So yeah, Dipper’s smart. And maybe he is getting pretty okay at the dimensional stuff. But he’s barely getting into this field.

He knows way better than to think any Pines is going to get that lucky, twice.

It’s pretty clear he’s already used up his own.

Behind him, Dipper hears Bill starting to ramble on about something. This time with a tinge of annoyance in his tone.

Out of the corner of his eye Dipper can see the pages caught on some bushes. Wherever the rest are, he doesn’t care anymore.

And in front of him, Dipper sees his own futile scribblings leading… precisely nowhere.

No matter how perfectly the circle is drawn, or how his sigil handwriting is second to nobody’s, it’s basically as good as Ford’s -

He just…

Doesn’t know what he’s doing.

The only person who really, truly knows exactly what to do is out of reach.

There’s a copy around, sure. Right down to the intelligence, personality, and name. Even the face is downright familiar, though the expressions it wears are strange.

Dipper swallows. His mouth feels dry.

There’s so much information to learn, infinite piles of it, offered up on a silver platter.

And none that he can trust.

“What’s with the face?” Bill sounds cheerful, though Dipper can hear the tension behind it. Other Bill isn’t getting his way, and it’s annoying him. “Frustrated? Struggling?” He claps a hand on Dipper’s shoulder, and his voice turns that syrup-smooth tone that Dipper hates - “Between you and me, we could-”

“No world-conquering.” Dipper shrugs away from the touch on his shoulder. That’s it. He’s done. “Ever.”

“Whoa, whoa, who said anything about that? I-”

“Save it for the suckers, Bill.” Dipper turns on him, backing up a step - but not far. “I never bought it in the first place.”

Other Bill looks at him with… mild confusion. But that’s only what shows on his face. By the way his head tilts, and his shoulders set - Dipper can tell he’s thinking, fast.

This Bill knows he’s been caught at something - and he’s equally sure he can talk his way out of it.

Dipper can’t work his way around Bill’s magical trickery. Even if he could, that’d take years, maybe decades of study. And all the while, he’d have to be lucky enough to avoid the many, many landmines that Other Bill would place in his way.

That’s not going to happen. Probability isn’t on Dipper’s side, he’s never going to learn enough to stop whatever this demon is planning.

But he does know Bill.

His thoughts. His motives. His emotions, too. Even when he tries to hide them, Dipper can almost always find out what he’s really feeling. This might be a different version, but Dipper still understands this creature right down to -

Well, not his bones - the few Bill has are at best non-euclidean - but Dipper gets the majority of what’s underneath his exoskeleton.

So, fuck it. Last resort.

Dipper just… asks.

“Where is he?”

“Where’s who?” Other Bill cocks his head to one side. His face flickers into an expression of not-quite concern. “You’re-”

“No.” Dipper cuts through the air with his arm. Frustration is tight in his chest. “I said I’m done playing.”

“Yeesh, you’re testy today.” Other Bill taps his foot on the ground, shaking his head. “Figures, what with all the sleep you’re not having.”

And god, comments on that have always been annoying, even from Real Bill.

“Nice try. Sure, you’re a Bill,” Dipper stomps forward. Jabbing a finger into Other Bill’s chest, and giving him his second-worst glare. “But you’re not my Bill. And I’m tired of pretending that you’ve,” He makes finger quotes. “‘Fooled’ me.”

Bill blinks at that, for a full two seconds. ”Who says I’m-”

“That won’t get either of us anywhere.” Dipper interrupts. He runs a hand through his hair. Being angry isn’t going to work, so he tamps it down. He has to make this convincing. “We should… get you back to your place.”

Other Bill watches Dipper for a long, lingering moment.Then he lets out a long, low whistle. Shaking his head again, he takes Dipper by the shoulders. “Aaand it’s naptime for Pine Tree!” Bill strides forward, pushing Dipper along. “Boy, have you been working too hard! All this dimension stuff has really gone to your head if you’re coming up with something that crazy.”

Now Dipper digs his literal heels into the ground - something Other Bill wasn’t expecting, apparently - and manages to tear himself out of Bill’s grip. He folds his arms over himself, backing up a few steps.

Bill huffs out a sigh. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Dipper folds his arms over his chest. “Seriously.”

“C’mon, we’ve known each other for years!” Other Bill spreads his arms wide. Deep concern furrows his brow, his voice softens. “You’re overthinking, kid. Maybe all this study isn’t good for you.” He beckons towards himself. “Let’s just get you-”

Dipper scoffs. It comes out almost like a laugh. Other Bill straightens up, a brief flicker of annoyance on his face.

Bill’s bullshit isn’t going to work. Not this time. Not on Dipper.

“If you were my Bill, you would know better.” Dipper lifts his chin. “If you were my Bill, you wouldn’t suggest that, or act like that, or…” He shakes his head. Other Bill barely did any research, and now he’s surprised he’s fucking up? “You’re really bad at this.”

A muscle in Other Bill’s jaw twitches. The rest of his face maintains the same, gentle concern. “You’re making a mistake, kid.” He sounds too calm - “If you were sane, you’d-”

“Oh, I’m not.” Dipper jabs a thumb into his chest. Almost proudly. “That’s how I know.”

Hell, Dipper gave up total sanity a long time ago. Once he realized what he’d gotten into. Once he realized he liked it.

“Huh.” Curiosity, apparently, overrides a Bill’s need to keep up a ruse, because he’s starting to smirk. “Never let it be said I don’t like insanity!” He tilts his head. “Enlighten me!”

Welp. He asked for it.

The smart thing to do would be to play nice. To work with this Bill, as much as is possible - to be flattering, and convincing, and massage that ego until he did want to cooperate, instead of obfuscate. It could even be easy.

But fuck this guy.

“Okay, so we’ll forget how you’re fucking up basic rules of this dimension, your obvious lack of knowledge,” Dipper starts. He rolls a hand in the air, in the way Bill does when he’s lecturing, and watches Other Bill’s eye twitch. “And how your acting sucks-”

Other Bill folds his arms over his chest. He starts tapping his fingers, in a slow, rhythmic beat. “More proof that you’re delusional, but sure!” He shrugs. “Why not!”

“You might have pulled it off in another world, but there’s too many details in this one.” Dipper admits. This dimension is pretty weird, if you think about it. He rubs the back of his neck, suddenly awkward. “We’re, uh…. Kinda out there.”

“A lotta suppostions, and zero facts.” Other Bill waves them away casually. “That’s hardly evidence.”

Dipper shrugs, almost casually. “No,” He says, very slowly. “I guess it isn’t.”

Other Bill starts to grin.

And Dipper shoves his left hand right in front of this smug asshole’s face. His palm - and its mark - on full display. “But this is.”

Other Bill violently recoils, letting out a sharp, startled swear in that strange language -

Then instantly realizes he’s blown his cover. He grimaces, hissing something else vulgar. Other Bill rubs at his eye, ducking his head.

Holy symbols don’t affect Bill, but that threw him right the hell off. A minor victory at best - yet oh, is it sweet.

Dipper waggles his hand in Other Bill’s view, and watches him turn away in disgust. “Well?”

Other Bill clapped a hand over his eye; now he draws it slowly down his face. “What. The hell. Is wrong with that guy? I thought the body was bad, but nah, that was just the beginning!” He shudders, shoulders rising. “There’s an entire conspiracy of awful.”

“Answer the question.” Dipper insists. The jig is up, the ruse is gone. Other Bill can’t lie his way out of this now. “Where is he?”

“Eesh, put it away already.” Other BIll flaps a hand at him. After a moment, Dipper reluctantly lowers his arm, while Other Bill sticks out his tongue. “Trust me - if you knew what that mark really meant, you wouldn’t be champing at the bit trying to find the other guy.” This… asshole.

He thinks Bill never told Dipper -

And okay, he didn’t, Stan had to point it out first -

But it’s like he thinks Dipper’s an idiot. That he doesn’t know exactly what he signed up for. That nobody would ever want to be -

Dipper takes a step forward, fists clenched tight by his sides. “Where’s my husband?”

Other Bill just. Looks at him. For a long moment, face blank and staring.

After a while, he slowly shakes his head. “I dunno what kinda demiurge got their tendrils into this particular space-time weave,“ Other Bill says carefully. Almost consideringly. “But boy, do they have a sick sense of humor. It’s almost impressive!”

“Oh, I get it.” Dipper ignores the distraction and folds his arms. This will get to him. “You don’t actually know. Do you?”

“Ha ha, very funny. Of course I know! We’ve been talking theory for days and you still haven’t guessed?” Other Bill waves his arm over the forest, vaguely skyward. “You see any big magical storms going on? Or any nice convenient rifts? No! Not even one! Things are still,” He curls up his lip as he makes finger quotes. “‘In balance.’”

And that kinda tracks. With what Dipper knows.

Passing into another dimension is difficult for a long, long list of reasons. At the core, it’s because they’re… mostly incompatible with each other.

The very fabric of reality keeps the planes apart, and healthy. Literally a skin between realms, since having different rules in place is like having a separate immune system. They can’t mix unless something is already compatible - or unless something’s gone terribly wrong.

But. Theoretically.

If you knew how. And if had the magical capital to pay the tolls - You could trade out an equal measure of mass, or magic. As long as it was similar enough, it might get overlooked.

And Bill Cipher’s a huge weight in the fabric of existence, simply out of sheer magical heft. Even if his realm is the Mindscape, he’s still linked to this dimension. If a nearby place suddenly had two Bills - or no Bills - there would be some major ripples in the fabric. Causing strange phenomena. Further anomalies.

But that didn’t happen. There was only one big surge, until everything sort of….

Evened out.

“So.” Dipper shuts his eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. “He’s at your place.”

His Bill wasn’t randomly transported into the beyond. He hasn’t even gone all that far.

Somewhere out in the infinite multiverse - There was a triangular gap that he could slot right into.

“I guess you’re not totally slow.” Other Bill grins. Weirdly, he sounds pleased. “Yeah, it’s the ol’ switcheroo. Usually a decent time!” He heaves a heavy, dramatic sigh. “But I guarantee that guy’s having a way better day than I am.”

One mystery solved. Bill’s location. Relatively nearby, as these things go -

Dipper looks up, suddenly intent. “Bring him back.”

Other Bill raises an eyebrow.

“Just…” Dipper fumbles, he tries to wave vaguely in a dimension-adjacent direction, which ends up being everywhere. “I mean, we’ll reverse it, right? It-”

“Oh yeah? With what?” Other Bill snorts, and sets his hands on his hips. “I’m not sitting on infinite power and influence right now, kid.” He shrugs. “Even with that it takes a lot of finagling. No dice.”

Dipper leanis his head back.

Shit.

“But there’s good news!” Bill sounds surprisingly cheerful, and Dipper glances over - “Ripping a hole between realms is a hell of a lot easier with a native. And I don’t qualify, on several counts.” He tilts his head thoughtfully, starting to smirk. “You could really come in handy.”

Dipper simply stares.

Double shit.

“Hey, you’ve already worked with a Bill. A real messed up one.” Other Bill makes a face, glancing at Dipper’s left hand. “You wanna dick with dimensions, then you got a way better opportunity, right here.”

Dipper breathes in, then out. Right.

He… kind of figured it would come to this.

“Go fuck yourself.”

Other Bill gives him a surprised look. Dipper flips him off.

He’s had a lot of bad ideas in his life, but this is clearly the worst deal he’s ever been offered.

“What?” Other Bill has almost mastered the innocent look. “Don’t you wanna see your dear hubby again?” He tuts softly, resting a hand on his chest. “Poor guy might even,” He hesitates. Dipper thinks he’s trying not to gag. “‘Miss’ you!”

“Nice try.” Dipper waves it off, ignoring the slight pang in his chest. Asshole. Manipulative jerk. “But I know you didn’t leave your dimension just to sightsee.”

Other Bill’s face sours. Possibly the first genuine expression Dipper’s seen; it weirdly makes him look more like the real Bill -

“So. no.” Dipper looks away. Clearing his throat, once. “Not a chance.” He lifts his chin. “If you hate it here, that’s your problem.”

This demon might not have enough leverage, or magic, in this realm to pull it off - but he did say ‘Right now’.

Other Bill makes a low sound in his throat, so. Yeah, Dipper’s right. Again.

For this to happen in the first place. This strange and bullshit switch -

Someone had to start it.

“What was wrong with your place?” Dipper asks, because - okay, it’s dumb, but Bill loves talking. And hell, he’s always curious. “Too much competition?”

“Pfft, hardly! Kinda the opposite.” Other Bill flicks his fingers dismissively, then examines his nails. Starting to smile again, that ego bloating with pride. “I did that dimension already, y’know? All conquering, no contest.” He shrugs. “Can’t blame a guy for wanting a little novelty.”

Greedy jerk. One wasn’t enough for him. A second, like he’s obviously trying for - Dipper rubs at his eyes.

How many is ever going to be enough? Will there ever be? If his world’s Bill Cipher seems messed up, it’s only because all of them are.

“I’m your only chance, Pine Tree.” Other Bill has mastered the convincing tone. It’s almost a shame he’s wasting it on the wrong person. “How about you-”

Dipper flips him off. Both hands this time.

With a huff, Other Bill folds his arms. “Fine. Be like that.” He turns slightly away, looking disgruntled. “You’re a stubborn little mortal.”

“I didn’t help my husband take over the world.” Dipper mimics his stance. Turning away a bit himself. “I’m not lifting a finger to help you.”

God, he’s exhausted.

And damn it, now he’s going to have to get Ford to help. It’s going to be ten times more difficult, and way slower. Half of that will be convincing him that yeah, actually, they should try to get Bill back. Throw in whatever this Bill pulls in the Mindscape, and Dipper can already tell this is going to be a huge pain.

“Y’know, if there’s any upside to all of this,” Other Bill starts, slow. Dipper feels himself tense. “It’s that the other guy might make a recovery.”

“I-” Dipper hesitates.

This is a trick. Manipulation, Bill’s all about that - He grits his teeth. “There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“Oh, how cute. You’re fully delusional!” Other Bill’s tone turns syrup-sickly sweet. It makes Dipper grimace. “Guess other me pulled a great scam on ya! But I gotta tell you…” A slow, serious shake of the head. “He’s sick.”

That’s obviously not -

True?

Dipper meets Bill's eye and finds nothing but smug sincerity.

“Being back at my place will be great for him! All the power and influence and stuff you could ever want!” Other Bill spreads his arms at some invisible grandeur. “He’s spent too long in this body, being powerless. You think that’s good for a demon?” A raised eyebrow. “Even the slightest bit healthy?“

And… okay, Bill does spend a lot of time in reality - but he has the Mindscape - Dipper didn’t take that away, that - that has to -

“No wonder he came down with something! Without other people to manipulate, he had to let it out somewhere!” Bill shakes his head pityingly. “In all this time, the only trick he managed to pull - “ The smirk turns mocking - “Was convincing himself he wanted you.”

Sincere, still, though - maybe it’s just out of spite, that’s a major part of any Bill’s makeup - But. the way he says it -

Dipper doesn’t know what to say, he tucks an arm over his stomach.

For the first time in a while, he really, really wishes he knew less about Bills.

“Yep, I figure a few days of actual autonomy will get his angles straight.” Other Bill sets his fists on his hips, nodding to himself. “No gross body, no boring reality, and most of all - “ He snorts. “No ball and chain.”

Dipper stands up straight, indignant. “I-”

“Sure, you’ve got an okay brain, I guess.” A sharp, dismissive wave. Dipper feels his face heat up - was he looking? “But your guy’s spent about forty-eight hours getting a taste of real freedom.” A shrug, fingers waving away some invisible stink from Dipper’s hand. “Trust me. He’s already wondering why that seemed like a good idea.”

“He wouldn’t.” Dipper stands firm. No, fuck that. The marriage was Bill’s idea in the first place. “He-”

Dipper stops himself before he says something stupid, shutting his mouth with a click.

He can’t talk about the… other part.

That thing is true, too. Even though it sounds improbable. Impossible, in fact. It’s too weird, even for a Bill, and definitely too sane. No version of Bill should ever, or would ever do it.

Other Bill will only think it’s bullshit, and mock him for thinking there was a chance.

Dipper lets his arm drop. His fists clench.

He knows better.

“Oh, please. And people call me arrogant!” Other Bill stalks forward. “He's already forgotten you, kid. Think about it!"

Dipper doesn't back up - he won't give in, now or ever - but he holds back a flinch. Other Bill is right in his face, now.

"What's better - Infinite power, freedom, and control over a slice of the multiverse -” He hisses. Teeth bared white in his smile. “Or one mouthy little brat.”

Dipper meets that single, strange, and glowing eye. Not backing up, even an inch. He watches Other Bill’s sneer turn into a glare.

They’re so close that Dipper can feel the heat of that illusionary body, worn like an ill fitting suit by this… jackass.

Who’s also a complete, absolute idiot.

“If your place was so great, you wouldn’t have ditched it.” Dipper states, watching Other Bill blink in surprise. Dipper sets his jaw. “So yeah. I think I know what he’d pick.”

No snappy response - Other Bill’s caught off his footing.

For once, shoving a Bill with all his strength actually makes him back up a step. Dipper straightens his back, suddenly proud.

“This universe already has a Bill Cipher. Yeah, maybe he hasn’t taken this plane over. Yet.” Or ever, but that’s a minor detail. “But he's a better actor. And smarter. And more vicious, and clever, and…” Saying all of this out loud feels strange. Sheer irritation carries Dipper onward, though he stumbles getting it out. “And funnier, and way cooler than you.”

Other Bill glares at him, but stays silent. The corner of his mouth twitches.

“In every way that counts, he’s better than you.” He stabs a finger into Other Bill’s chest with each word, back tense and face hot with anger. Stepping forward even as a part of him recognizes this might not be great - “You’re just some dull-witted, myopic knockoff.”

There’s a long silence.

Dipper heaves out a breath, trying to calm down. This was. - He shakes his head, disgusted.

“Alright.” Bill nods slowly, almost thoughtful. He lifts his hands in the air with a simple shrug. “I see how it is.”

A sudden crack sends Dipper reeling.

He hits the bare ground on his side, breath forced out of his chest.

When his vision comes back, Dipper stares numbly forward.

He's on the ground? His left eye doesn't want to stay open, and - and strangely, his ear is ringing, and moments later the pain blooms in his cheek and jaw. Sharp and throbbing all at once - a splitting headache follows it up a moment later, and Dipper groans. The light hurts his eyes - the one that’s cooperating anyway - so he shuts it.

There’s a muffled sound, and Dipper feels a hard impact on his side, a voice hissing, “-et up.”

This time Dipper rolls onto his back, breath escaping in a huff. Above him, BIll’s standing and smirking, one hand extended downward. Dipper reaches up to take it.

And the crushing grip, tight around his wrist, sends pain down his arm and the sharp, sick reminder that. Oh. Right.

This isn’t his Bill

“You,” Other BIll says, grip tightening - Dipper groans, teeth clenched - “Have been spoiled rotten.”

He hauls Dipper up. High up -

Bill raises him until his feet barely skim the ground. Suspended like this, his whole arm aches, shoulder wrenched upwards -

“Funny thing, though.” Other Bill muses, cupping Dipper’s chin in his other palm. “Maybe I can’t coax you-” His thumb digs, hard, into Dipper’s cheek, and a burst of pain sends Dipper’s vision swimming again. “But one good swat and you’re way less mouthy!”

Dipper can’t pull away, he can’t even find his feet. Grabbing Bill’s arm makes his grip tighten into something sickening, he thinks he feels a crack - kicking out only puts more tension on his already aching arm, twisting it in the socket.

“Still feisty, huh?” Other Bill tuts softly. Then smirks. He tilts Dipper’s head back. “Now that I know how to handle ya, that's no big deal.”

Bill’s body is unnaturally strong, and he wasn’t pulling the blow. Through a kind of haze, Dipper’s faintly glad Bill went for a slap over a punch. He’s hurting, it’s hard to concentrate - but he doesn’t think his jaw is broken.

More than anything, Dipper wants to glare, but he can’t lower his chin. He can’t tense his jaw to speak, either. Bill’s thumb burns into his cheek like a brand, a point of stabbing pressure.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” Other Bill shakes Dipper’s face roughly, like a dog worrying a bone. “Not got much to say anymore?”

“Ghnnn.” Not… much of a protest. Best he did was bare his teeth, and the throbbing in his head is twice as bad now - Dipper shuts his mouth before he can make a stupider sound.

Weirdly, this Bill starts grinning even harder.

“Boy, you got some fire in you, Pine Tree. And y’know what?” Bill tilts his head to one side. He chuckles, grinning wider. “I almost see why he didn’t try to snuff it out!”

Other Bill swings him lightly, side to side, before giving him a toss.

Dipper hits the ground again, hard. He props himself up, only to find one wrist won’t support his weight and swears. Sitting up turns from a simple move into an awkward scuffle.

The whole time, Other Bill watches him, with a smirk on his face. Like he’s admiring his work.

Frustration surges in Dipper’s chest.

Pushing this guy into the Mindscape has moved from a ‘soon’ priority to a ‘now.’

There’ll be a chance. Once he stops being grabby. It has to be when he’s not holding on, or Dipper will get dragged along for the trip - and it’s not like things would get better after that.

Dipper takes a slow, shaking breath. “You’re not-”

Other Bill backhands Dipper with an idle smack. “Ah ah ah!” He wags a finger. “I’ve heard enough from you.”

Dipper’s elbow hits the ground, his vision swims. That slap wasn’t as hard as the previous, probably. Just in the same-ish place, resonating with pain like a bell. Normally he’d have a followup, but nothing comes to him.

Damn it, he’s been through fights, more than a few at this point - but this one is messing with him.

“Despite everything, you could still be useful.” Bill says, low soothing. He kneels in front of Dipper, one elbow on his upraised knee. “Once I get this dimension under my thumb, it’s back to business!”

Dipper wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. It comes away streaked with red.

“Work with me here! We could get the whole shebang started,” Other Bill continues, eye bright. “When I’m back in power, things are gonna be great.”

He holds out a hand.

Dipper stares at it.

“Infinite power. No more bullshit rules.” Leaning in, Other Bill smiles, white and wild. “Help me out, and I’ll even be generous!” He waggles his fingers. “When I control reality - you can have anything you want.”

Dipper looks up at… this Bill.

At a stranger, puppeting a familiar face.

It’s a face that Dipper knows so well.

Knowing when it’s happy. When it’s upset. When it’s about to burst out laughing, or starting to sulk. When it’s a different monster behind that mask - when it doesn’t have that hidden contempt behind it - it’s even handsome.

The distance between them is so close, and his husband’s still a million miles away.

Other Bill makes a low sound in his throat. Maybe he saw something in Dipper’s own face, because he slowly rises up.

“Anything,” Other Bills hisses out the words through gritted teeth. “Except that.”

Dipper grunts as Bill grabs him by his hair. He tries to jerk away, but he already has a headache, this just makes things worse.

“He’s outta here, kid. Vanished. Kaput!” Other Bill yanks him forward, and Dipper smacks a palm on the ground before the hold in his hair is the only thing supporting him. “He’s gone.”

Though Other Bill turns his head upwards - Dipper shuts his eyes.

“Face it, Pine Tree.” The low words ring in Dipper’s ear’s, and there’s hot breath on his face - “You’re stuck with me.”

Dipper’s been injured before - bruised, some burns, a broken bone - but it wasn’t like this. He knew Bill was strong, but it wasn’t supposed to hurt so bad.

He feels his head get shaken again. The grip is too tight - Dipper’s eyes are stinging, and frustration burns so hot in his chest that it feels almost physical.

The second this asshole lets go, he’s out of here. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, or how much Dipper has to work, he’s going to get rid of this jerk, and get his own jerk back. Even if it takes years. Even if it takes decades.

Anger surges inside him, and he struggles. When Dipper looks up at that horrible, smug laughter, he almost sees red in the corner of his eye.

Only…

Other Bill stops cackling.

He glances over to Dipper’s right and quirks an eyebrow up.

EIther that’s some complicated ruse, reading Dipper’s emotional state, maybe even what he’s seeing -

Or - now Other Bill lets him drop, stalking away, eye narrowed - it’s not.

Dipper glances over, and his own eyebrows shoot up.

Okay.

That's different.

Living in Gravity Falls shows you a lot of weird stuff, if you’re the kind of person who really wants to see it. Not many people get into the gritty details, or do a lot of research.

Dipper and Ford are probably the only two people who ever really got into it, and Ford’s not here all that often. That leaves Dipper to be the resident Gravity Falls expert.

This is one even he hasn’t seen before.

The glow isn’t a figment of his imagination, it’s real.

Real, and weird.

There’s a long, bright eggshell-crack in the middle of the air, glowing in shades of white-yellow… Something. That one color that Dipper has only seen in the Mindscape. The one Bill thinks is ‘pretty’.

This thing is the source of the red light, radiating an eerie hellish aura, as the cracks start to grow and spread.

Judging by the way Other Bill looks at it, eye alight with pure avarice - rubbing his hands together, too -

“Ha! Now there’s what I was looking for!” Other Bill strides forward, grinning wide.

Dipper grimaces.

Well. There’s his freaking ‘wound in the skin of reality’, apparently.

Just great.

“A rift.” Other Bill purrs. He clenches his fist, grinning wide and triumphant. He starts laughing, loud and wild, lifting his arms - “Finally, a good surprise!”

And around him, the earth shifts, and changes.

Several rocks totter away on unsteady, newly-formed legs. A bird darts overhead and sprouts several more wings - and a the head of a deer - before it burst into flames with a squawk.

Dipper feels his blood run cold.

Shit.

The skin of a dimension keeps its internal rules in place. When there’s a break in that, things get shifting, and strange, it isn’t meant to work like this. Just like Bill in the Mindscape - in a place where he isn’t restricted -

When nothing enforces ‘you can’t’ - he has enough power to stand up and ask ‘why not?’

“It’s about time.” Other Bill’s laughter turns into a cackle. He stands in front of that new break in the universe, shoulders squared. “I can’t wait to get started!”

Proud, and full of his own power.

All of it.

“Welp, guess I don’t need you anymore!” Other Bill shrugs, tilting his head with a coy grin. “Credit where it’s due - it wasn’t boring, Pine Tree!” He waves, and winks. “I’ll at least give ya that!”

Dipper watches as he paces forward - then pause. Other Bill lifts a finger in the air.

“But then again…” Other Bill hums for a moment. Dipper feels a tendril of dread seep into him.

Then Other Bill curls his finger towards himself, and Dipper gets dragged over the dirt by an invisible force.

“When it comes to you, eh.” Other Bill waggles a hand, and winks. “Maybe I’ll-”

The world goes ‘zmm’ for a moment with a taste of oranges, and a smell like earwax. The air wibbles like it’s under intense heat, only with a paisley pattern.

Other Bill starts. He turns back towards the rift, somewhat surprised. "What."

And Dipper skids to a stop, bracing himself on the ground. He clutches at the bare dirt like it’s a lifeline, heart pounding in his chest.

He can’t tell what’s going on. He doesn’t know what to do. But whatever’s stopping Other Bill from acting, he could practically kiss it, he’s so grateful.

And a hand bursts out of the rift, cracking it further open.

The motion sends not-real splinters of unreality shattering to the forest floor, bubbling up into nothingness. Dipper stares as it pats around for a moment, until it finds another part of the crack, and pushes.

It’s a weird hand. A strange hand, black and formlessly weird.

Instantly recognizable.

The hat pops out next. Then a top corner emerges, with a single eye shut as he strains.

Other Bill smacks himself over the eye, muttering. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Dipper feels his heart surge, and he starts to smile.

Bill Cipher always comes back.

His Bill is there, Dipper can feel the bond bright inside him, like a light. Showing exactly who it is, and where he is, right down in his soul. Not distant anymore, not gone anywhere, Bill’s right there.

Bill swears, and shoves, and pushes against that interdimensional wound until his bottom angles follow him out, popping fully into reality -

And he instantly flops to the ground. Surface first, with a resonating ‘thud’. There’s some muffled swearing. Bill’s legs flail in the air.

“Blegh.” Bill shakes himself. “Stupid friggin’-” He shoves himself up off the ground, muttering in a distinctly grumpy manner. “Lousy hack built the worst goddamn-”

Other Bill coughs into his fist, turning away and looking distinctly uncomfortable. A bad look for one Bill must bruise both their egos.

“Whoo! Now that was a trip,” Bill says, finally over himself. He starts dusting off his sides. He glances back at the rift, rolling in its socket. “Not as dramatic an entrance as I’d like, but eh,” He shrugs and floats in the air, lower eyelid lifted and arms raised. “Hey, Gravity Falls! Good to be back!”

Doing the impossible is in Bill’s purview, and usually Dipper tries to figure it out. There’s always questions when it comes to his demon. Always the urge to make it seem reasonable.

This time, Dipper has no questions, at all. Bill can do whatever the hell he likes.

“And boy, lemme tell ya,” Bill continues, brushing his hat off. He plops it down to float over his top corner, fists resting on his sides. “You would not believe the day I’ve had.”

Other Bill clears his throat, and steps forward, halfway blocking Dipper’s view. The jerk.

“Huh.” Bill folds his arms over himself, leaning forward, eye narrow. “You.”

“Well, well, well,” Other Bill says. There’s a smile on his face, with no humor behind it. “If it isn’t Bill! Nice to see ya!”

“Bill.” Bill floats closer, looking him over. His fingers drum on his other arm. “Real nice to meet ya.” A clear and blatant lie.

There’s a long, awkward silence.

“So….” Other Bill trails off, clearly searching for a topic. Once he alights on one, he grins. “How was the vacation?” A wink. “ Thought you might need one, considering…” He waves over… everything. “Your place.”

“Oh, ‘vacation’, he says.” Bill makes the finger quotes, flaring bright gold. “Sure, I've had a good look around your digs.” He sets his fists on his sides. “And lemme tell ya, I was not impressed.”

Other Bill snorts - though his back straightens in offense “C’mon, it’s pre-conquered! Free reign over a whole plane!” He spreads his arms wide with a smile. “Compared to this craphole, what’s not to like?”

“Oh, of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” Bill smacks his top corner, low and sarcastic. “Except that taking things over is seventy percent of the fun!” Bill glows brighter, slightly tinged with red. “You plopped your pre-chewed gum of a dimension in my palm outta friggin’ nowhere!”

Other Bill draws himself up self-importantly. “Like what you’ve got is-”

“Ah, cram it. I didn’t come back for this.” Bill shoves him to one side, dismissive, and floats right past him. Other Bill stays upright, but his shoes leave a streak in the dirt. He sputters, indignant. Bill glares, pointing two fingers at him. “I’ll deal with you later.”

As that single, strange eye finally alights on him, Dipper scrambles to get to his feet.

He wants to see Bill again. He wants to grab this stupid triangle and shake him, and yell at him, try and crush those metal angles like a tin can in his arms, even though it’s impossible -

“Hey there, sapling!” Bill spreads his noodly black arms wide, lower eyelid raised, and glowing. “How’re you-”

Only when Dipper moves to prop himself onto his feet, he forgets about his wrist.

It fails within the first push - Dipper swears - and he thumps back down into the dirt.

Across the clearing, Bill’s slit pupil narrows to a thin line. His arms drop.

Great. Instead of leaping up, and being cool and dramatic, Dipper looked dumb.

He lets his head drop onto the ground. Even the rest of his face feels hot now.

Shit, he should -

“Hm.” It’s a low, displeased sound.

Then Dipper hears Other Bill speak up -

“Oh no. No no no no, and no. C’mon, you’re smarter than this.” Other Bill sounds almost… scolding? “Believe it or not, I got an understanding of your particular damage.” His voice holds a sneer. “You gotta know how messed up you are!”

Okay, what?

Dipper rolls onto his side, pushing himself into a sitting position. He has to see this.

His Bill’s gone fully red now. Growing, and - actually, he keeps growing, eye black and full of golden symbols. He cracks nonexistent knuckles. One hand, then the other.

“Oh come on! This is bullshit!” Other Bill looks up at him with disgust, head tilting back as Bill grows. Some confusion flickers over his face. He glances over, waves an arm at Dipper. “He’s just a-”

One enormous hand draws its index finger back, and flicks.

Watching Other Bill sail over - then through - some of the treeline makes Dipper feel the best he has in at least two days.

By the distant, but loud cracking of branches - Dipper winces at a particularly loud one - That Bill… might not be out of commission. But it’ll be a long, long walk to get back to the rift he wanted.

“Welp!” Bill shrinks down again, brushing off his hands. Golden again, and bright. “That’s a problem for later.” He casts a glare at the arc Other Bill made through the branches, and sets his hands on his sides. “Jeez, what a prick.”

Bill floats over, and Dipper glances up at the irritated, eerie shape in front of him “As for you, kid. -”

Bill’s triangular form starts to wobble and shift. Weirdly bright, and oddly silent. Dipper shuts his eyes against the light. When he looks again, it’s at -

A recognizable face. With a bright grin on said face, charming and pleased.

“Bet you’re glad to see a familiar look. Huh?” Bill - in a human shape, the one he’s always in - winks. “Get it?” He waits for a beat - then rolls his eye, and holds out an arm towards Dipper. “Alright, get up already.”

Dipper just… stares at him for a moment.

He did know Bill could shapeshift. Size and color and some varieties of geometry he’s seen, but he wasn’t aware it could be this… thorough. Though he supposes Bill hasn’t really had much reason; he’s not typically out of shape.

Bill’s grin falls by a fraction. “Sure, don’t break out the party crackers and champagne or anything. Totally wasn’t a pain in the angles getting that mess sorted.” He jerks a thumb in the rift’s direction. He waits a bit, then pushes the smile back on his face. “Aw, you’re too stunned to react! C’mere!”

Dipper gets hauled up, Bill holding him under his arms. He shuts his eyes, and clenches his jaw tight. Bill’s grip isn’t hard - if anything it’s less so than usual - but Dipper’s wrist really didn’t like being moved again.

“What, did you think I wouldn’t show up?” Bill’s grin widens. He’d probably be preening if he wasn’t holding Dipper up like he just won a carnival prize - though his gaze keeps darting over Dipper. “Like you’d get rid of me that easy.”

Dipper doesn’t have a response ready. He… should probably think of one.

Nothing comes to mind, though. Mostly there’s headache and faceache and just… ache, with relief and surprise fighting for the steering wheel. Wit’s so far in the backseat it might as well be in the trunk.

Bill’s grin continues falling by degrees; it falters. Glancing over Dipper, up and down, turning him slightly side to side

“C’mon, sapling, speak up.” Dipper gets jostled, just a quick couple bounces. Now Bill’s face is strange, and serious. He even pauses, and Dipper dimly realizes he hasn’t seen this expression before - “I hate it when you won’t talk.”

True enough. His Bill hates not getting a response, the attention hogging, narcissistic -

Dipper breathes in, shakily, and sighs. He looks at his stupid demon, exasperated. “Put me down, Bill.”

The grin blooms again, even brighter this time. “Ha! I don’t think so!” Dipper watches Bill’s posture change as relief rises off him like steam. He pulls Dipper closer, pressing an overly-dramatic smooch on his jaw. “You already had your vacation from me, Pine Tree. I’ll do whatever I want!”

It’s ridiculous, and - and maybe a little sentimental, but Dipper feels heat rise to his face. Like warmth spreads out from where Bill’s touching him.

Dipper blinks rapidly, and clears his throat. “Let me down?” He tugs at Bill's arm, just gently.

“Alright, alright,” Bill, surprisingly, relents without much fight. He sets Dipper on his feet, smile fading somewhat. “Let’s have a look at ya, anyway.”

“I’m fine.” Dipper lets his forehead drop against Bill’s shoulder. It’s solid and warm. Tension is dropping out of his shoulders, which is probably why they’re shaking.

Dipper’s been in worse shape - and in better - but things are a hell of a lot finer than even three minutes ago.

“Right,” Bill says, very dry. Dipper gets pushed slightly away, a knuckle tilts his chin upwards. “‘Cause this just screams fine, like a horrorshow!” Bill’s eye darts over his face - frowning now, lips drawn tight. “Where else did he get ya?”

Weird question. "Nothing serious.” Dipper tries tucking his arm by his side, but that only makes Bill's face turn down more. “It’s cool.”

"It's only 'cool', for a guy who's lost all sense of thermoregulation." Bill tugs Dipper’s arm up by the elbow, glaring at his wrist. Admittedly, it is swelling a little. “You’re real crap at lying.”

Dipper watches as Bill taps a warm finger on the reddening skin, and sucks in a sharp breath. Bill’s lip twitches. He lets the arm down carefully, only to grasp Dipper’s sides.

“Don’t bother covering stuff up, ‘cause for once I’m not messing with you.” Bill says, flat this time. "Own up to the rest, already." And at Dipper’s look of confusion - Bill tugs him closer, strangely serious. ”He wouldn’t have started with the face.”

Dipper swallows, and nods.

Sure, he knows Bill - but Bill definitely knows himself, so that’s. Deeply unnerving, on multiple levels.

But also, thankfully, wrong.

Bill’s running his hands up and down, squeezing like he’s checking for a soft spot on some produce. Not finding much - though there’s a spot on Dipper’s ribs he hadn’t noticed himself. For some reason Bill’s only more insistent after that -

“Hey.” Dipper taps Bill on the cheek. He offers a half-smile, the best he can manage. It startles Bill enough that his inspection slows. “I missed you.”

Maybe Bill has a follow up to that. Maybe he’s going to insult, or - something, but fuck it, Dipper did miss him, and -

He wraps his arms around his husband. One can’t join in properly, but Dipper thumps Bill between the shoulders, and hugs on tight.

Let him try to get away from this.

Possessive arms clamp around him in response. A comforting bear trap that Dipper intentionally set off, even if it isn’t nearly as squishing as usual. Like Bill isn’t certain how much to hold him, even though he’s had plenty of experience.

Dipper relaxes into it anyway.

When Bill shapeshifted, he must have used the body template he’s used to wearing. Even now, Dipper can feel his heart, steady and comforting, beating somewhat faster than the usual second-and-a-half pace.

Then Bill sighs. “Well, whatever. You’re pretty intact! All limbs accounted for and everything!” A firm kiss gets planted on Dipper’s forehead. Then another on his temple, before Bill basically shoves Dipper’s face against his neck. Adding a couple thumps of his own on Dipper’s back. “Not too shabby, all things considered.”

Bill finally squeezes Dipper’s waist with one arm. His other hand cups the back of Dipper's head, fingers carding through Dipper’s hair, once, then twice.

Every time Bill wants to hug Dipper close, he throws in human-abnormal pressure. Not painful, just to one side of uncomfortable; like he’ll never, ever let Dipper escape his grasp.

Dipper matches it as well as he can. He kind of gets it now.

With the sounds of the forest, and Bill here, and holding him, it’s almost like things are normal. Quiet and still, while he feels the warmth of Bill's body his arms, and the bright red glow of the air -

Dipper jerks his head up.

Staring at the still-extant crack in reality.

Thankfully it doesn’t seem to have grown since, but if he looks too close it kinda hurts his eyes. And part of his brain.

“Uh.” Dipper taps Bill a few times on the shoulder. There's a sigh against his scalp, as Bill hums something quietly. Dipper taps a little harder. “Bill?”

“What?” The word is slightly muffled by Dipper’s hair.

Dipper nudges him. “Should I be worried about that?”

“Hm?” It takes Bill a moment - he tilts his head, following Dipper’s gaze - then smirks. He snorts, like Dipper pointed out a big scary bug in the bathroom. “Pfft, oh, that.”

True to form, a ten-foot eggshell crack in the flesh of the universe doesn’t seem like a big deal to him. Dipper leans back and meets his eye skeptically.

“That’s barely a papercut, not a genuine fistula. Nothing important..” Bill waves over the rift, other arm staying tight on Dipper’s waist. “We got bigger fish to fry!”

Dipper hesitates. “Uh.” He darts a look at the rift, then back again. “Really?”

“Oh, definitely! That Bill and I have some unfinished business,” Bill’s eye glows red, and his grin shows an absurd amount of teeth. “We’ve gotta have a little chat.”

#Bill vs Bill #Okay now what to say in the tags #Without spoiling anything in the post hmmmm except okay there's a little violence guys #Okay first of all yes the thing gets further elaborated on in the next part #Second I wonder how many people googled that word and went 'ew'#And third this entire concept was so big brained because #While Bill would look at pretty much any other demon or monster or abomination and go 'eh he can handle it'#If there's one being in the multiverse Bill isn't going to underestimate it's himself #And Bill knows to the Exact Degree how nasty he can get #He had a whole two days to stew in that knowledge #With only the information that Dipper was still alive which is arguably not all that helpful #Dipper's usually got the runaway imagination but Bill's isn't any less powerful in terms of imagery and creativity #I've already started writing the fourth and final part and hopefully that'll go over well #Hopefully this part goes over well and you liked it!#Other/Weirdmaggedon Bill is not very happy about this turn of events as you can imagine #Things aren't just going to get nasty they're gonna get PERSONAL #Our Bill would shell out huge amounts of cash or favors to hear some of those things Dipper said #I hope you enjoy this silly fic and thank you for reading #Just one more part left though it'll be a big one!#I even have a fun epilogue idea that I may never get to but we'll see how things go

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shinygoku · 1 year

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Ya’ll like James ThomastheTankEngine ? Here’s some Jim as written by me, for @mean-scarlet-deceiver 😘🚂❤💙

I kinda feel like finding Thomas and James interactions that ain’t based on the CGI takes is hard, so here’s my whack at the idea ✨

#This is TTTE #James TTTE #Thomas TTTE #TTTE Fic #I wrote this a while back and got Proof Reading Block :c - But here we are!! <3 #Jimbo is pretty fun to write ^^#as is Thombo naturally~#I don't have new fic ideas so y'all better enjoy this one!! lol #I forget if I had a tag for 'my fic' or not lmaoooo

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bookwyrminspiration · 1 year

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By the way! It's ayyám-i-há (I explained it here and here) until March 1st, so if anyone wants an excuse to be nice to their friends, to support each other, and to learn a little about another culture/background...now would be a great time!

No one has to do anything big. I'm personally going to be doing some little sketches for mutuals and trying to share more fic and art with nice comments to support everyone, but if you'd like to join me in doing so (you could share art, exchange memes, send nice asks, comment on people's fics, etc.) that would be cool :)

#kotlc #<- tagging that because I introduced the idea to the fandom a while back #anyone is welcome to participate! you don't have to be baha'i to celebrate. I'm not baha'i anymore and I still like to exchange gifts #but anyway. happy ayyám-i-há!#i may not be part of the faith anymore but I still think it's fun to celebrate #so. i've got some art to share and some fics I want to read and comment on #and some silly little sketches I want to do #gifts don't need to be big it's about the meaning behind it #so don't stress over it if you want to

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chaotically-rem · 7 months

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1, 3, 13, 14, 20 for the ask game!

Ohhh, thanks thanks, sorry I'm days late answering!

These are questions for the ask game!!! Which I'll still do answers for btw! I'm going to throw it under a read more bar because I am already off to a really long start for the first question, ^_^;)/

1. What led you to start writing fan fiction?

You see. I was an avid fanfic reader, back in the wee era of 2015 when I was in my early 20s, for a certain fandom that I shall not name. And I realized after reading hundreds and hundreds of fics for my favorite pairing that my preferred genre of fanfic (*coughs in major trigger warnings*) were all so.... so... Well. Every fic for that fandom was The Same. And I don't mean 'the same' in the way that enemies to lovers is always the same (where the enemies become lovers through some plot that forces them together) I mean that I can tell you plot point by plot point, scene by scene, argument by argument, exactly what happened in all of these fics because they were all the same. Every. Single. Time. There was no diversity in the plot. No creativity. It was the same scene setup, the same lines/same arguments, the same hurt/comfort every single fic. It was like a group of people who liked these topics all got together and brainstormed the Same Idea and then wrote the Same Idea a dozen times in the exact Same Way with very little deviation from the "hurt in an alley, rescued by their enemy, nursed back to health in the bedroom, and then they sleep together" plot and posted it on AO3. The first couple of times, it slapped. But then when the entire tag became Just That, or some variation of Just That because people branched out from "the alley" to "the almost alley" I sort of had enough.

I wanted to be a writer. I've always loved to write. So I thought "wow, what if I take this idea that wasn't bad the first time but it sucked the fourth fifth sixth and seventh time, and just make it crazier out of spite" and thus, I wrote the worst 140k first POV fanfic for my ship (and discovered that I enjoy almost setting this man on fire) and then I just? Never stopped writing because it was fun and low-pressure and I could read fic and go "I dont like that" and learn from other peoples mistakes, and then my own. This fic, however, is dead to me. Looking back, I'm glad I started somewhere and yes it was insane and wildly different than the others, but me @ me, first-person POV? are you insane?

And here I am, easily five million words later (not an exaggeration, I've written at least 5 mil since then because I wrote 3 mil 2019-now).

And now, I'm a Horror waiting to happen to your blorbos, ehehehehheeh.

3. What experiences/influences have shaped your writings the most?

The polite answer is: life experience of my chaotic luck that sounds fake. Listen. If you send me to the store for milk, there is no way for you to prepare for what kind of trouble I will get into, of no fault of mine.

The real answer: a life of misery. I get a lot of comments about how 'real' some of my fics feel, to an uncomfortable degree. Well. There's a reason for that :wheezesmiley:

I always recommend a few gintama fics starting with Pandemonium. This is like, a staple Gintama fic to read and it's gen! I really enjoyed this one even though I haven't reread it in a long time and I only remember the ending which was probably my favorite part. (I should do a reread) but I remember I liked the characterization and it sort of touched on all of my favorite things about Gintoki being unhinged, and how he could end up there down at the bottom ready to throw it all away. It was a real aspiration of mine to keep to the characterizations and to always drag out Gintoki's little horrors until the juicy last moment, and this fic is the reason for all of that.

13. What are some must-read fanfics in your fandoms? Why do you admire these, and how have they impacted your works?

Otherwise, I just have a few self-indulgent angst fics I like to reread. But for inspiration, I will admit that my timeloop fic, which i wrote obsessively like a madman and those of you who were dming me know I was ripping out my hair because you need an excel sheet for this level of insanity, was inspired by the other timeloop fic, because while I enjoyed that timeloop fic, I was severely disappointed that Gintoki never mentioned the timeloop to Hijikata, and more importantly, Gintoki never mentioned the fact that he witnessed Hijikata's death dozens of times and it has negatively impacted him to a severe degree. And then I was more annoyed that this is completely in character, so I decided to force Gintoki's hand on my own by making him the victim of the timeloop. (and then I accidentally killed Sakamoto, and the rest is history, ngl idk wtf happened I just sat down and wrote 40k one day and went "oh, ok, this is gonna be a long one")

I would also like to go out of my way to recommend a Witcher fic. I don't go here anymore and I likely will never go here again, but this fic had me hooked for two solid days. I did nothing but read this fic for two solid days. (I skipped the smut because I was more invested in the plot than the relationship LMFAO) I was so convinced that the plot had somethign to do with werewolves (or some other kind of shapeshifting/vampiric/demonic monster) that I actually binge wrote a 70k fic in one week because of this LMFAO

14. What aspects of your creative process do you enjoy most? Which are most challenging?

THEREFORE, the most challenging thing is me sitting down and going "okay this needs to not be vibes, it needs to have very specific crafted elements and also be creative while also being clever and meaningful and metaphorical and deep" and then I just don't write for three months (me rn, trying to force myself to write one (1) hyper specific thing I could care less about)

I just sit down and the brain and hands go 'brrrr' there is no creative process there is only me leaving my body and coming back like "noice". This is my favorite part. Or the part where someone goes "wouldn't it be wild if" and then goes to sleep and then suddenly they wake up to a 10k fic link in their inbox because they left me unattended with their left-field idea.

20. What’s your favorite work you’ve ever written?

Oh god. Ok. I can't pick one so I'm going to rec some of my favorites and explain why they're my faves.

I feel like Don't You Know That Timeloops Suck? (gintama, no warnings) has to be my most recent favorite because I was on an entire other level of insanity for this one and it was unfortunately very personal and looking back its a lot of things to me. lololol BUT the ending is... listen. Guys. I didn't want to finish it because I hated it at one point. It's rough. The second Sakamoto enters the timeloop everything went to shit on my end because I just didn't want anything to do this fic anymore, I was sick of writing it, I was sick of Hijikata, I was sick of Gintoki being too much like me. It's not my cleanest work, that's for sure and rereading it, I can see it clear as day and it drives me insane tbh. If I could rewrite any fics end/write more for a fic, it would be this one and I would be screaming the entire way.

But. This JJK fic, In the Vastness of the Cosmos, We Are But Nothing was a lot of fun to write. Like. A lot of fun. And I mean, I would love to write another one like this, but I need some delirious combination of cosmic horror and colours and higher level of clarity. It's not my strongest work technically and easily could have been double, triple the length to really drive the finer points home, but it is what it is and it's great considering I wrote the whole entire thing in one sitting and then just posted it without even an edit.

I have another fic like this for danny phantom, but I haven't re-uploaded it yet because I lost it in the deletion. (It's somewhere, I'm sure)

BUT. Fill the Void, Lest the Void Fill You (Trigun, content warnings beware) is my favorite, most solid ending. Like this fic? Is probably my favorite in terms of technical writing. It's solid the whole way through. I had actually discussed with a friend where my writing was lacking, and determined that my endings need some work (because I usually end things when I'm sick of writing them and it shows) but this fic? Solid. 10/10.

Okay I'll stop rambling, thanks for the ask! I love talking about my own fics lololo

Also. That “If Utsuro’s ‘Totally Not Meteor From Final Fantasy VII’ Attack Had Ended The World In Episode 361 But then Gintoki Tried To Go Back In Time And Save Everyone” AU deserves more love.

#good job rem #this is so long sorry not sorry #i had fun with this #I always feel lowkey weird being like yeah i write fic from real life experiences and then the fics are all just awful tags #LOL #I used to have more gntm fics to recommend but i lost my list #I read a lot of rainsometimes fics #i hope theyre doing well its been a while since ive been around to chat with people sjkahfskjdhgksd #jjk i read jubi #JUBIIIIIIIIIIII #i dont even go here anymore #okay but most of my fic ideas come from the craziest sources #like the furby fic #listen #the furby fic was a joke that got out of hand okay #and bad sakamoto was literally just me wanting to write sakagin at the same time a friend was talking about villainizing heros

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cassierobinsons · 9 months

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cas has thee most beautiful vegetable garden imaginable but if you asked him to cook with any of his creations the result would just be this vile inedible brick of dubious origin. somehow charred AND undercooked at the same time. dean would take a single tiny bite to be nice and then go visibly green.

#one time i read a fic where cas got really into cooking because he likes the clear instructions that cookbooks provide #and while i love that idea #I'm more in love with the idea that even strict instructions can't save cas' cooking #culinarily cursed #like that one sim that keeps setting fire to their own kitchen #spn blogging

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