#I haven’t thought too much about how their personalities would affect the story

[rozugold]

I don’t know anything about tpn but I just casually accepted that as just fuckin. normal c!dream lol

I literally just copy pasted most of that dialogue, that’s how well he fits into this story

#isabella is less childish than cdream though #Oooo actually that would be really fun to explore #I’ve just been swapping out characters and keeping everything the same #I haven’t thought too much about how their personalities would affect the story #hrmmmm #tpn au #rozu asks #proudfreakmetarusoniku

[drewsprettygirl]

love story . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁💐

౨ৎ inspired with the song love story by indila !!

౨ৎ s1! rafe x fem! pogue! reader

౨ৎ angst, mentions of drugs, drinking, & fluff

౨ৎ takes place in midsummers - rafey baby so handsome there

you met him at that state he was - relying on barry and his coke to calm his senses down. soon along, you became friends. he was your rock, and you were his.

of course - his sister, sarah had seen the unmistaken look in her troubled brother’s eyes, of which ones were dilated & jittery by the euphoria had turned serene and much more.. adoring?

no. that didn’t sound like the big bad rafe everyone knew and had on their books.

he had changed - because of a stupid girl. a stupid pogue. surely, he wouldn’t let that affect his family’s name! but god, he was wrong.

he’d grown fond of you, come to think of it - you weren’t like “your people” as he said it. he’d seen her as a sweet and caring person— something he lacked in his life.

so as you and him exchanged glances at the country club— you were a bartender, just serving him a glass of wine— you couldn’t help but be drawn to the man who sat across you in that little taupe barstool.

“i haven’t seen you here,” the blue eyed boy stared at you up and down.

“i just started a couple days ago.” she replied softly.

it only started like that. what could possibly go wrong?

it wasn’t until 10 months into it. midsummers was nearing— rafe had invited you to be his plus one. he was shy- a little bit jittery- and he handed you a flower.

“for me?” she said in awe, looking at the peony he had gotten her.

“yes you.” rafe had replied— coldly. he didn’t want to come off like a pussy, as his friends top and kelce called him for being too shy.

apart from you being a pogue, he had no issues. you were the first one he didn’t get into bad terms with, which surprisingly shocked you. —and shocked him too. he didn’t expect to fall hard, head over heels for you.

that led to him, on the following night of the next friday—waiting.

you had doubts, being a pogue in an all-kook annual party, you had your dress ready, hair done, but what else was there to it? you couldn’t do it. you couldn’t bring yourself to walk to your car to drive to figure 8. you couldn’t let yourself ruin the cameron name. you would never make an attempt to embarrass your lover. you were just a bartender— not some silverspoon-born girl.

he had a rose in his hand, constantly pacing across the room, his hand running through his hair, pushing it back. he felt himself getting hot, the camerons were about to come out, so where were you?

surely— you wouldn’t blow him off; he thought.

was he crazy? he kept checking his phone, looking at your contact. he checked your photos on his phone gallery, trying to calm himself down.

“rafe!” rose, his step-mother calls, telling him they have to go out of the door since the party’s starting. he runs a hand through his hair, and tries to breathe calmly.

the whole party, he had expected you to be with him. he had expected your hand in his, your arm linked with his, and your head on his shoulder. but where were you to be found?

he quickly typed on your contact;

—where are you sent 7:22

you immediately see the notification pop up, you were crying, you couldn’t bring yourself to text him back. you were breaking his heart and yours too.

it had been minutes since he sent that. no text backs?

—y/n sent 7:31

—why aren’t you here?? sent 7:32

—i thought you were coming w me sent 7:32

—i even bought you a damn dress sent 7:32

—y/n answer right fucking now sent 7:34

that was all it took to piss rafe off. you were blowing him off? he was furious— almost crushed a glass on how hard he was gripping it.

the whole night, he couldn’t sleep. what were you doing? all he could think of was you. does she even like me? does she still care? he sees you everywhere.

the next day, he checked his phone. no reply. he decided to drive to the country club in which— you were working at.

he was surprised to hear you didn’t come in this morning, supposedly calling in sick. lies. he thought. he knew you had a brain on you, and that you were quite smart in times like these. but right now, it wasn’t helping.

for the past week—he had been driving to the country club everyday, checking on you. which was not left unnoticed by ward.

“the fuck is on my credit card bills, boy? all from the country club?” ward asked rafe furiously.

“it’s just drinks.” rafe answered defensively, not wanting to talk to his dad anymore.

“put it on your card! not mine. you have your own card for that—“

“look, dad— the money—“

“what about the goddamn money!? you out of cash, rafe? see. this is what happens if you don’t bother to be responsible, to think! you don’t think, rafe! and to say i was the one who raised you.. god.” ward answered hastily, leaving the room with him massaging his own temples.

rafe was outraged. this whole week had turned for the worse, you were supposed to be there for him. but where were you?

his frustration brought him back to his worst behaviors. he spent his days at barry’s. snorting the white lines of fine powder.

“country club. what’s gotten you all knees for the c dust?”

“hard week, barry. don’t remind me.” rafe answered angrily, just wanting to get over it.

“i hear you haven’t been seein’ your girl, huh?”

“—so what!?”

“chill, chill, you’re actin’ out. she’s a pogue.”

“i haven’t seen her in a goddamn week. i don’t fuckin’ care if she’s one. she’s everything i think of, fuck.”

and that led to him, driving to your house at the cut. hearing a knock on your door, your mom calls you to open it while she was in the kitchen.

“rafe—“ she spoke softly, until she got cut off by his lips on hers. he smelled of beer. had he been drinking?

worried, she pulled him up to her room secretly. looking around to see if anyone was near them or could hear.

“have you been drinking?” she asked sadly. what had she done? all of that because of her? only a lazy nod was what she got from him, quickly laying him down on her bed.

“i’m sorry rafe.”

“what happened y/n? i thought you were gonna come and you’d be my date— i even bought you a fucking dress. a goddamn dress because i wanted you to look gorgeous that night. and what do i get? a dead rose and an absent woman—“

“i’m so sorry, please i promise you i am-“

“promise me.. everything’s alright between us baby.” rafe spoke softly with a drawl, grabbing your hand and intertwining it with yours as he stared at the ceiling. the lights were off and his only source was the one coming from the moon out the window, that cascaded your features.

“i do,” she replied with her voice slightly breaking. she leant down to hug him tight. she felt so sorry for him.

“i just- i dream of you. i- i fucking want you with me y/n, baby, stay with me, but i don’t- i don’t know how to love..” “fuck. i’m such a mess. dad’s on my ass again about the money- then you go fucking vague!”

“rafe, rafe, i’m so-“

“no, stop! just please- stop saying that.”

“i didn’t want- i couldn’t go anymore. i’m not rich, rafe. i’m not a kook for crying out loud! i just- i just didn’t wanna embarrass you,“

“no, baby, don’t say that,” he said, wrapping her lips in his.

“i’ll give you everything. i’ll give you gold if you don’t care, i’ll wait for you, i don’t give a fuck if you’ll ignore me- i’d even kill for you, baby.” rafe muttered.

she only looks at him with tears in her eyes, him wrapping his arms around her, wiping her tears away and kissing her.

“don’t fuckin’ pull shit like that on me again, mkay?” he hummed against her lips aggressively, pulling away.

“i’m sorry,” she sighed, feeling a tear stab my eye. “i just—didn’t want to try to fit in to be someone i’m not.” “i’m so sorry rafe,” she softly sobbed in his arms.

“shh, shh, it’s just you and me baby, i love you.” he whispered, rubbing your back.

“—i love you too.” she replied. nobody would possibly believe it but, love makes a fool of the kook king

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ 💐 ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ .

by drewsprettygirl 𝜗𝜚

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #rafe imagine #rafe smut #outerbanks rafe #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x reader smut #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fluff #drew starkey #drew starkey rafe #drew starkey x reader

[thesherrinfordfacility]

I’ve been having this doubt ever since season 2 came out (I should probably solve it by doing a tumblr poll but I don’t have enough followers for the answers to be significant so I thought I would just ask).

So to the point now: did people actually cry about the ending? (talking abt good omens here ofc). I’ve seen so many posts, both from around those days and still now, where everyone says how it made them cry/sob/just sad in general, and I’m too autistic to understand if they mean it literally or not.

Personally I haven’t cried but then I’ve never been a very sensitive person so I’m not a fair judge. I can understand how the ending is heartbreaking (believe me, as a queer person brought up in catholicism, the story really resonates with me) but I don’t feel the sadness myself.

That being said, I would love to know if this is truly different for other people, if it actually made them emotional in the way they mention in their posts or if it’s more of a common used exaggeration.

oh anon my love idk if im a big enough blog to get any kind of decent reach but i'll give it a go, i'd be interested to know too!!!

i know ive exaggerated my reaction on here (iirc i didn't cry at the confession/kiss/leaving for heaven parts - but definitely felt a huge Sad about it... plus frustration, incredulity, anger etc), but i have absolutely cried when writing meta about it, or daydreaming how they'd talk it out in s3 (these characters are healing something in me lmao)

rb for sample size etc etc

#all reactions are valid!!!!💕 im just curious #good omens #ask

[1-imaginary-girl]

Annoying

Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: It’s no secret Five finds you annoying. In fact, he frequently tells you this. Maybe he even goes too far. But when someone else insults you, Five realizes that only he’s allowed to do that. Reader is gender neutral.

Warnings: Hurtful comments said to the reader

Word Count: 3500

A/N: I’m alive! So long story short, I lost the motivation to write for a while which caused my spontaneous hiatus. I honestly wasn’t sure if I would post anything again. But then, I rediscovered comfort in writing, especially when it’s about my best boys. 

My posting from now on may be a bit sporadic as I’m back in school but I do intend to keep posting.

Anyway, here’s my favourite grumpy boy as a treat!

Five Hargreeves had gotten used to working at the Commission. He still hated every second of it: the job, the people, the killings. But he had adapted, just like he had in the apocalypse, and had fallen into a familiar routine that made the situation easier to swallow. He had finally accepted his job and made peace with it. That is, until you came along.

You also work at the Commission as a field agent and until recently, Five didn’t even know of your existence. Then one day, you came into his office and tried to chat with him. He was bewildered of course and told you to get the hell out of his face. But his rude words didn’t deter you. Instead, you asked him if he wanted to be your partner in the field. Again, Five was shocked and told you absolutely not. Unfortunately, you don’t seem to take no as an answer.

Every day since then, you kept popping into his life. Every day you would make nice with him, do him favours, and were overall friendly with him. Every day, he offered you nothing but a cold shoulder. Every day you asked him to be your partner and every day he told you no.

It was extremely aggravating to say the least. He tried to report you to the Handler but she told him you were doing nothing wrong. She even made some suggestive comments that made Five regret ever going to her for help. So he was on his own.

Except none of his usual moves worked. You never shied away from his negative presence. If he blinked away, you would somehow find him again. There seemed to be no way to remove you from his life.

He’s sitting in his office working when he hears a sound he has come to dread. “Knock knock,” you say as you open his door, not waiting for a response. He once asked you, “What if I was doing something private?” but that only made him flush at the accidental implication and you laughed.

“Not now,” he mumbles, not taking his eyes off his work.

“Yes now,” you say, entering the room and taking a seat on the other side of his desk. He doesn’t know why he hasn’t just removed the chair since the only person who ever used it was you. “I brought you coffee!”

This causes him to glance up, only a little, and what a mistake that turns out to be. There you sit, a beaming smile spread across your face. Your eyes tend to light up when you smile, bringing attention to how stunning they are. Thoughts like these make him feel queasy, at least that’s what he’s deeming it to be. His face also tends to heat up and his breathing acts funny. He’s considered a few times that he was sick, but every test indicated otherwise.

This is another thing that bothers him so much about you. You bring unknown feelings that Five has never experienced before, and he hates feelings, let alone unfamiliar ones.

“The answer is still, and always will be, no,” he says blankly, his eyes focused on his computer but he isn’t paying attention to what’s on the screen.

“But I haven’t even said my pitch yet!” you complain. Without looking, he knows you’re looking at him with big puppy dog eyes. He would never admit, even to himself, that they affect him. “I think today’s speech is much better—”

“Doesn’t matter, still a no.”

You ignore him and clear your throat. “As your partner—”

“Stop.”

“I would bring you freshly made coffee every morning, just the way you like it,” you continue. He decides to stop talking to you altogether. With concentration, he’s able to read the words on the screen and continue typing. “You can still take lead on the missions, though you’ll find I’m fairly skilled on the field. This will also reduce the danger of getting hurt, and if one of us does get hurt, the other can patch them up.”

It is a pain to tend to my own wounds, Five thinks before mentally berating himself. He’s supposed to be ignoring you. And besides, he’s been taking care of himself for years, he’s used to the difficulties by now.

“Another bonus, is that with me as your partner, the Handler won’t be on you as much,” you say, and despite himself, he listens. “She’ll know that someone else has their eyes on you, and with my reputation, she’ll trust me with it.”

Now that actually sounds desirable. The Handler is always checking in on him and keeping a watchful eye on his actions. She knows he’s a good agent, he’s proved that by now, but she still worries that he might betray them. This makes him a loose canon in her eyes. Plus, with her attention elsewhere he’ll be able to make more progress on his secret project to return to his family—

Stop it, he tells himself. This is exactly what you want. You actually have him considering the possibility of becoming partners. The more your voice fills his ears and the more he thinks about what it would mean to have you as a partner, the more his face starts to burn.

He can feel himself losing control over his emotions and he panics. Clearly, ignoring you is not the solution.

“That’s enough!” he yells, causing you to pause mid-sentence. He looks over at you to see your wide eyes staring at him. For the first time, he sees a crack in your positive shield. He continues. “God, just stop already. I am so sick and tired of you groveling at my feet, it is so annoying. Why won’t you get this through your head? I am never partnering with anyone, especially not with you! So for the last time, leave me alone!”

A deadly silence fills the room. Five is panting from his outburst and when his anger recedes, he finds he’s shocked at himself. He’s never had an outburst like that, never yelled like that before. Sure he gets angry and frustrated all of the time, but he hardly ever yells and his words are never that venomous. He just got so riled up with his emotions…

You also seem shocked. You try to cover it up, but he can still tell. You seem unsure of what to say and your usual peppiness seems to have vanished as well. Five isn’t sure how to feel. He also isn’t sure of what to do.

You then clear your throat. “Well then,” you say, trying to piece yourself together. “You seem busy so I should go.” You grin but its wobbly and it doesn’t meet your eyes. And despite himself, he feels sorry. You wordlessly stand up and exit his office.

The silence remains and Five is left frozen. After a moment, he shakes his head and tries to feel unbothered by what just happened.

†††

A few hours have passed since his conversation with you, and Five is out of coffee. He blinks to the Commission’s break room but then he sees you there. You’re standing at the counter with your back to him and in a moment of panic, he blinks to behind a wall just around the corner from the break room.  

He curses silently. He can’t believe that he’s hiding from you after earlier. Maybe he just doesn’t want to deal with your emotions. Or maybe he’s hiding from his own.

He’s about to just toughen up and deal with it when he hears someone else entering the room. “Y/N, how nice to see you,” he hears someone say. He looks to see a woman approaching you. Five thinks he’s seen her around but doesn’t recognize her. He’s tried not to make friends here or fill his mind with useless information. This means he only knows a few people including you and the Handler.

“Cassandra,” he hears you say in a bitter tone. He frowns. He’s never heard you speak like that.

“How have you been?” Cassandra asks and Five doesn’t know why, but she sounds ingenuine despite her cheery tone. He also suspects her smile to be too friendly.

“Fine.” You don’t even look over at her as you continue whatever you were doing at the counter. It isn’t like you to be short with people, and Five wonders if it’s because of what he said.

“I heard you got in trouble with the Handler this morning,” Cassandra says. Oh shit, Five thinks. He isn’t sure if that happened before or after he yelled at you but either way, he doesn’t envy your morning.

“Yup,” is your only response. Cassandra doesn’t seem satisfied by your response. She walks over and leans against the counter next to you.

“That must have been awful. I hope she doesn’t fire you soon,” she says with false concern. You still don’t glance her way. You simply nod your head absentmindedly as your focus remains locked on the kettle in front of you, waiting for the water to boil. Cassandra just keeps talking. “Are you still bugging Agent Five about being his partner?”

Five’s ears begin to burn as the conversation steers towards him. Now more than ever, he thinks he should leave this private conversation, but his feet remain glued to the floor. What does he care? he tries to tell himself, but it doesn’t work.

He watches as you grip the counter tightly. Unfortunately, Cassandra also seems to notice and she takes that as an answer. “Aw you poor thing,” she says, putting her hand on your shoulder only for you to shrug it off.

“Look Cassandra,” you say, your voice filled with agitation. “I’ve had a really bad day, if you could just—”

“I can only imagine,” the woman says, and Five is starting to really dislike her. “It must be hard, getting rejected day after day. I’m surprised you haven’t given up.”

“Fuck it.” You push yourself off the counter. You turn around and Five ducks back around the corner. “I’ll come back later.”

There’s a moment of silence before, “Do you know why he keeps rejecting you?” Five risks a glance to see that you’ve turned back around.

“What?” you say, surprised by the question.

“It’s the same reason why all of the others rejected you,” she says, which takes Five by surprise. He didn’t know there were others. An illogical flare of jealousy rises in him before he stomps it out.

“You’re annoying,” she says, her tone one of false sympathy. “No one wants to be around you. You come on way too strong and, sweetie, you reek of desperation.”

“S-stop,” you say, in shock but also seemingly hit by a bullet of emotions. Even Five is surprised.

“You’re just a nuisance,” Cassandra says. “A pest that no one can get rid of. That’s why you’ve never found a partner and that’s why you never will. I mean, who could like you let alone stand you?”

“Cassandra…” you say and Five can hear the quiver in your voice. He doesn’t know why, but the sound makes his chest tighten.

“Face it, Y/N,” she says, now standing right in front of you. “You were always meant to be alone.” Finally, Five can’t take it anymore. He walks out from around the corner and glares at Cassandra. He finds himself loathing her. Only he is allowed to call you annoying.

Cassandra glances past you and looks surprised to see him there. Just like that, she has on her friendly looking face again. “Oh hey there Fi—” she starts to say to him.

“Get out,” he spits at her. Her eyes widen at his venomous tone but decides to listen, scurrying away. It’s nice to see his fearful reputation precedes him. There’s a silence that settles in the room once she’s left. You seem to be frozen in place, not even turning to face him. He isn’t sure what to do himself, whether to somehow approach you or to ignore you entirely.

Luckily, his decision is made for him as you wordlessly walk back up to the counter towards the kettle. Five clears his throat, trying to rid himself of this awkward feeling, and walks up beside you.

He doesn’t address you, after all he normally isn’t the one to start the conversation. Which is why it’s so odd when you don’t. The two of you move about silently, completing your individual tasks. He finds he can’t even look at you, for the downtrodden look on your face still inflicts pain upon him. Finally, after an agonizing amount of time, you speak.

“Five,” you say, also clearing your throat. “I, uh, I have some good news for you.”

He sees that you’re trying to plaster on your usual happy appearance but it’s broken and he can see right through it.

He expects you to say something along the lines of “I forgive you for earlier” or “I made you some coffee.” He expects you to forgive him and act as normal. He did not, however, expect your actual words.

“I will no longer be bothering you with my presence.” Normally, these words would send him jumping for joy. After all, this is what he’s been wanting. But after the conversation he overheard, something gave him pause.

“Oh?” he says, at a loss for words as he is caught off guard.

“Yeah,” you say with a forced smile. “I’ve realized that I haven’t been respecting your feelings, as you have made it more than clear that you don’t want me as a partner and that you never will.”

He hears your voice crack towards the end and he can’t help but compare your words to Cassandra’s. “Yes I uh…I appreciate that,” he says, hesitant with his words. He isn’t sure what to make of all of this.        

“Right,” you say, straightening yourself. You pick up your mug and turn to fully face him. He tries to ignore the shine of incoming tears in your eyes. “See you around. And uh, sorry for bothering you.”

Before he can say anything else, you turn and exit the room, leaving Five in a state of uncertainty.

†††

When Five walks into work the next morning, he’s not on edge like he usually is. He normally expects you to greet him on his way to his office, but there’s no sight of you. After Five recovered from his shock, he decided he should be happy about the situation. Sure, he didn’t want you to get hurt, but he got what he wanted.

He settles into his office and gets to work. He reaches to take a sip of his coffee when he realizes there’s nothing there. Oh, right. You normally got his morning coffees for him. Not a big deal, he thinks. If anything, this shows what a nuisance you had been for changing his routine.

Throughout the next couple of days, he starts to realize what an impact you had made on him. For one, the coffee doesn’t taste as good, which is odd. Then he noticed his plant started to die. Five didn’t even know he had a plant. He got rid of it and suddenly felt that his office was colder. He knows it’s illogical, but he didn’t realize how it brightened the room.

And most of all, he found his normal routine to be rather dull. Normally, you would interrupt his work and give a small relief to the boring workload. His room is quieter than ever and the days start to blend together.

But this is what he wanted wasn’t it? To finally be on his own? It’s not like he missed your ramblings, or the sound of your laugh, or your happy disposition, or the way you brightened his day. No. He’s better off alone…

He doesn’t even believe himself. He scowls. How could he let this happen? How could he let someone in and affect him so much to a point where he missed them? He thinks about ignoring his feelings and soldiering on, as is his way, but the thought of going on like this for God knows how long makes him reconsider.

Goddamn you.

†††

He had never seen your office before. He didn’t even know you had an office up until now. He thought, a bit conceitedly perhaps, that he was the only field agent with an office. Maybe you weren’t exaggerating when you said you were good.

Your door is left open, possibly to be more inviting and welcoming. It’s perfectly you. Five looks in to see your head down, writing something at your desk, and takes a moment to consider you. God, he had missed you. He feels a little excited just seeing you there. Is he that lonely and desperate?

He knocks on your door and stands in the doorway. You lift your head and your eyes widen in surprise to see him. He tries not to look uncomfortable under your gaze.

“Oh! Hey Five,” you say, cautiously. You’re not as bubbly around him anymore, almost afraid to scare him off. He doesn’t like it. “What can I do for—”

Before you can finish, Five drops a file onto your desk. You look at him in surprise. There’s a silence. “What’s this?” you ask.

“Read it,” he snaps at you, his nerves getting the better of him. You open the file and he sees surprise overtake your whole face.

“This…this is a request to have me as your partner,” you say quietly, not knowing how to react.

“This has nothing to do with your pestering, by the way,” Five says. “I thought about it and came to my own conclusion that a partner would be beneficial. I thought since you were already willing, it was the simpler choice.”

As he speaks, he watches your disbelief change into joy and a bright smile returns to your face. It’s almost infectious.

“This is incredible,” you say. And then something changes and your smile drops into a frown, which makes him upset. Not that he was doing this for you, but he thought you’d be happy. “But I thought…I thought I annoyed you. What changed?”

He feels guilt tug at him. It seems his outburst stuck with you. “I…might have overreacted the other day. You do annoy me, but I didn’t mean it like that.” You nod at this and he senses it isn’t enough to convince you. Fuck it. He’s already in this deep. “I suppose, as a gesture of good faith as your new partner, and only for this occasion…I owe you an apology.”

Your eyes shoot up at him and he falters. Then he clears his throat and prays no one else is around to hear this. “I am…sorry, for any hurt my outburst may have caused you.” He could count on one hand the number of times he has genuinely apologized to someone. But apparently it works, as your frown is gone.

“Oh, um, thank you,” you say, unsure how to respond to his sudden change in character. There’s an awkward pause before you smile. You hold out your hand and say, “Partners?”

It’s such a sweet gesture of forgiveness that Five finds his mouth twitching upwards. “Partners,” he says, shaking your hand. He ignores the sparks he feels when his hand touches yours. But he has been sentimental for far too long.

He ends the handshake and clears his throat once more. “To be clear, this is not an official contract, you still have to sign the paper,” he says but the smile cannot be erased from your face.

“Yes, of course! I will handle that right away,” you say. “This is so exciting! You will not regret this.”

“I better not,” he says. “This doesn’t change anything between us, we’re not friends.”

“Yet,” you say with a cheeky smile. He is much more relieved to see you acting as your normal self again.

“Y/N I’m serious—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. This is going to be so fun,” you giggle, seemingly ignoring what he just said. “Thank you.”

You’re looking up at him, a soft smile on your lips and a twinkle in your eye. He falters again as he feels heat rising in his cheeks. He looks away.

“No need to thank me, just make sure that request is signed and submitted.”

“Aye, aye, cap’n,” you salute him and he takes this as his cue to leave. He turns and you call out, “See you around!”

He doesn’t respond, or rather he can’t. He’s already starting to regret this and not because of the reason you think. Seeing you all happy and excitement caused his heart to swell with a feeling he isn’t familiar with. He doesn’t like this unknown territory and change. But he has to admit…

It felt kind of nice.

#five x reader #five x you #five x y/n #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x y/n #five hargreeves #five hargreeves fanfiction #tua #The Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy fanfiction #tua fanfiction

[httpsuniverse]

easy on me [ christian pulisic ]

you were young when you and christian broke up. you made a huge decision for the both of you back then and you were confident enough to know that the decision you made would be better for the both of you, but what happens when he learns about the biggest secret you’ve been hiding from him since you separated ways?

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — christian pulisic x ex!reader; oc!emily, oc!ezekiel, oc!andrew . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — angst, unplanned pregnancy, profanities, inaccurate description of mentioned places (as i’m not american, nor do i live in the states) . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *

[ 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 ] — 6,219 words . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 📲 °.   *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ the LONGEST scenario i've written, all thanks to disney+ hahahaha i’ve rewatched the parent trap and the game plan the other day, so i thought about this. i also plan on writing a parent trap-like story, but i’m still figuring out how i’d write it lol but anyway, enjoy! ❤️ btw, i haven’t betaread this so if there’s any errors, let me know and i’ll edit it!

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

watching this little kid grow up was both scary and amazing. five years have passed since you met him, since you first heard his heartbeat. five years ago, he opened his eyes and welcomed himself in this cruel world one september morning. watching him grow up to the person he was today felt both accomplishing and depressing. ezekiel mate was his name, and yes–you’ve named him after his father. his father who is not aware of his own existence. it wasn’t ezekiel’s fault though, you’ve made this decision by yourself and there was nothing you could do but uphold your decision and do your responsibilities as a mother–a single mother in fact. you thought it would be the best for all sides, for you and ezekiel’s father. 

he has his own career to think about, he was about to make his name known to people. to be known in the sport he loved most and all people would cheer his name, plaster printed copies of his face and name across the whole country. you didn’t want to ruin that opportunity for him, a child would only affect his career. between practices, training, matches, flights–surely, christian wouldn’t have any time to take care of a child. with you in north america and him in europe, it just simply wouldn’t work. you still remember the night you broke up with him, in fact, you can’t forget about it. it haunts you like a stupid nightmare, it keeps you awake most of the time.

you sacrificed a lot for ezekiel. giving up university for a year to navigate things on how to be a mom, and trying to make ends meet by working–sure, your parents were there to help financially and take care of your baby in times you needed them, but you wanted to be able to support ezekiel on your own. balancing work, university and a growing child was hard and there were days that you wanted to just give up. but you didn’t, because you were the only parent that ezekiel has in his life.

“mama?” you heard a tiny voice call you, waking you up from reverie. ezekiel’s tiny footsteps were heard as he ran towards you. “why are you still awake?” you smiled at the little boy, gently picking him up from the ground and sat him on the kitchen counter in front of you. his slightly curly hair, deep dimples and honey brown eyes that look so captivating under the light, reminded you so much of his father. not to mention, they both share the same birthday.

“just… thinking of something, baby.” you answer, “why are you still awake? we have a flight to catch tomorrow, you know?”

“i know! we’re going to florida, to aunt emily and i’m too excited to sleep, mama.”

you giggled, “well, we both need to sleep now. we have an early flight and you need to have a lot of energy when you get to aunt emily’s place.”

you took ezekiel in your arms, making sure that his favourite stuffed toy was secured in his arms as you made your way back to his room. gently, you put him to his bed and tucked him in, sitting on the edge of his bed as you stared at him, waiting for his eyelids to shut as he told you how his day was. ezekiel spent the day with your parents, they lived nearby and offered to babysit him while you went to work.

minutes later, ezekiel’s words were slurring. meaning, he was about to drift off to dreamland. you both have to be awake by 5 am to catch your flight, and it was already almost midnight. you don’t need a fussy, grumpy 4-year-old throughout your 3 hour flight to florida. when you were sure that ezekiel was fast asleep, you planted a kiss on his head, tips of your fingers running through his soft cheeks as you stared at him. 

you left ezekiel’s room, quietly shutting the door closed. instead of going to your room to rest, you opted to stay in the living room. you sat there in silence, letting your own thoughts eat you again. you felt anxious, but you can’t pinpoint the exact reason why. you stare at the wall across from where you were sitting, it was filled with pictures of your family and some pictures of you and ezekiel. the ones from his birth, to his birthdays and his first day of preschool. you remembered that day clearly, when you fetched ezekiel from your parents’ place after his first day of preschool about a few months ago. you two were driving back to your place from your parents, he was quietly playing with his ipad behind you when he asked something you didn’t expect.

“mama, do i have a papa?” he asked, eyes still on his gadget. your heart dropped at the question. “i saw my friends with their papa today. do i have a papa?”

you remember pulling over the side of the road to take a deep breath before answering. he picked it up so early, noticing that it was only the two of you the past four years. 

“of course you have a papa, my love.” you answered, not really sure what to say next.

“why is he not here? does my papa hate us?”

sometimes, four year olds ask the most piercing questions and they don’t even know how it could change one’s whole mood, just like what your son was doing. “he doesn’t hate us, your papa is just… busy.” 

“is it my fault, mama?”

you sighed, removing your seatbelt and faced ezekiel. “no, baby. it’s not your fault, it will never be your fault.” you said, smiling to let him know that he wasn’t in any sort of trouble. “it’s just… mama and papa needed some time away from each other. it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault, baby. it’s never your fault.”

ezekiel smiled at you, mumbling a small okay. you chose to go to the nearest fast food chain drive thru, not in the mood to cook as you were tired the whole day and with ezekiel’s questions to you, sure enough you wouldn’t be able to focus on making dinner. 

“it’s mama’s fault, zeke.” you murmured, holding a picture of your son. “i’m the one to blame.”

—

“if you don’t wait for mama, you might be lost and i will be very sad.” you tell your 4-year-old as you wait for your bags. 

the flight from new york to florida was easy, because your son was asleep throughout the duration of the flight. however, it was during the landing when he woke up and started to be talkative and hyper. you only had at least an hour or two of sleep from last night, waking up at 3 am to catch a 6 am flight. ezekiel was usually listening to you every time you two go out, but since he’s all napped out, you were dealing with a hyper kid (you blame yourself for giving him cookies before you landed). 

ezekiel held your hand as you pushed your luggage towards the arrivals exit. you two were greeted with a big sign that says welcome to florida, y/n and zeke! by your best friend, emily and her husband, andrew. your son ran straight to his godmother, he couldn’t read the sign yet but he knew it was his favourite aunt.

“zeke, you’re a big boy now!” emily exclaimed, hugging him tight and letting go of your son a few seconds later to face you. “and you, a hot mama, you’re looking beautiful as ever!”

you playfully hit her arm and hugged her. the four of you made way for the other people in the airport, heading to the parking lot. emily and andrew had invited you over to celebrate the fourth of july with them, as well as to meet your goddaughter, celeste. they invited the two of you to stay with them for a week as emily said that you two had a lot of catching up to do.

the drive from the airport to the emmons’ residence wasn’t that far, it only took the four of you about forty-five minutes. emily and andrew’s place was beautiful and cosy, perfect for the couple and the family they dreamed of building. your room for the week had a view of the lake, which you liked the most. emily had ezekiel for a few minutes as you unpack your stuff and prepare ezekiel’s swimming trunks.

“we can go boat riding in the next few days!” emily told ezekiel, “but for now, we can swim in the backyard and play with celeste. is that okay with you, zeke?”

ezekiel nodded his head, turning to you. “your swimming trunks are in the room. change first and go back to mama so i can put sunscreen on you, alright?”

“yes mama!”

ezekiel changed his clothes and had his sunscreen applied, excitedly joining andrew in the pool. you and emily were lounging with her 4-month-old daughter, celeste. the day passed by so quickly; it seems like ezekiel enjoyed his first day in florida as after dinner, instead of asking for his ipad to play and watch his favourite kids show, he asked if he could go to sleep. poor kid must’ve been exhausted running around the backyard with andrew. when you were certain that ezekiel was tucked and safe on the bed, you went back to the living room where the couple was waiting for you.

“little too early for wine, isn’t it?” you smiled, taking a seat across the couple. 

“it’s never too early for wine.” said emily, “plus, celeste is already asleep and hopefully, won’t wake up for the next three hours.”

the three of you were talking about life now that you were all parents now. unlike you, emily was fairly new to parenthood and she has someone by her side throughout the journey. were you jealous? maybe you were, a little. but you had a choice and your choice was to go through this alone anyway, so you immediately shut those thoughts off. 

unlike you, your best friend did everything by the book. she and andrew got married over a year ago, gave birth to their first child, and not long ago, they recently bought a home in a gated community which is why they moved from new york to florida. nevertheless, you were happy for emily. she deserved it after all.

as the three of you continued to converse, andrew had asked a question you weren’t expecting: “are you on good terms with ezekiel’s dad?” you understood why he had asked you that, he had no idea about your relationship with christian because the two of you met when he and emily started dating during their years in university, unlike emily who knew you since you were still in diapers. 

“babe, that’s not—”

“it’s okay, emily.” you said, “he and i have not spoken since i was pregnant with ezekiel. i have no idea what’s going on with his life now, but wherever he is, i just hope he’s doing well in his career.”

since you and christian broke up, you made sure not to see his name or hear anything about him at all. blocked him and muted his name and any word tied to his name including football and soccer. it wasn’t easy at first but you got used to it as the years passed by. you wonder what happened in his career now, was he still in dortmund? which part of europe was he living now? how was his career in the national team? 

the past five years, you’ve been avoiding christian and everything related to him, yet you go back to square one whenever someone asks you about him. you and christian only dated for a year, and your relationship was really private back then. only a handful of people knew about it. nobody knows outside of your family and emily that ezekiel’s father was christian. the people around you and your family thought that you were knocked up by some random guy you met in university. did it hurt? of course it did. having people see you as a careless young adult, have them judge you for being a parent at such a young age but that didn’t stop you from trying your best to be a good parent to ezekiel.

however, sooner or later, ezekiel would ask you about his father—it already happened one time, and you know it’s bound to happen again in the future. was it selfish to hide your child from his own father? yes, it was, but you couldn’t blame yourself for wanting to protect him. you were aware how cruel people could be, especially people who idolise christian. you could take the hate from them but the thought of your only child getting unnecessary hate from the people who don’t know the whole story simply breaks your heart and makes you anxious.

but, who knows what the future holds?

—

“andrew, y/n and i will go for a quick run!” emily announced to her husband. 

andrew appears in the kitchen, celeste was in his arms and trying to make the baby burp. “is it okay to leave ezekiel here? i mean, andrew’s already taking care of celeste.” you said, a bit worried that andrew couldn’t handle two kids. 

andrew chuckles, “i’ll be fine as soon as celeste falls asleep. me and mr. big boy here can play video games while she naps.” he answered, “now, you ladies go. we’ll be fine here.”

“are you sure, andrew?”

“y/n, andrew has babysat most of his nephews and nieces all at once, and he has 6 of them. i think he can handle an infant and a child.” emily laughs, “now, let’s go!”

“alright, alright!” you gave in, levelling with ezekiel’s eyes. “promise mama that you’ll be a good boy for uncle andrew?”

you extend out your pinky, and ezekiel wrapped his around yours, putting a smile on everyone’s faces. seconds after that, you and emily were out of the door and started running laps around the whole neighbourhood. it took you two an hour before you stopped by a local park, finding a shade to relax for a bit. the both of you were quiet, enjoying the sound of the trees as you relaxed. 

“i’m sorry about andrew’s question last night.” emily suddenly said, “you know, the one about he-who-must-not-be-named.”

you let out a chuckle and shook your head. “it’s okay, ems. it was just an innocent question.” you said, playing with the hem of your shirt. “it’s really not the first time someone asked about him anyway.”

“what do you mean?”

“zeke. he asked about his dad during his first day of school, a few months back.” you answer, “he asked if he had a dad, if his dad hates us because he wasn’t present and… was it his fault why his dad’s not around.”

“oh my… y/n, i’m sorry.”

emily hugs you tightly, feeling a bit sad as zeke was too young to think about such things. you never told anyone about your conversation with your son that day until today, and it felt so good to finally get it out of your chest. 

“i feel so selfish to keep him away from christian, you know?” you open up, “but it was the only thing i could think of. ems, you know how well his career was going back then. i didn’t want him to sacrifice such a huge opportunity for me and ezekiel back then.”

at this point, you were tearing up. you couldn’t help it. you were always vulnerable when you talked about ezekiel and christian. back when you found out that you were pregnant, you made this decision to break up with christian and have the baby alone. back then it felt like you shot two birds with one stone, christian’s career being the one bird and the other is protecting your child from the public eye. 

you and emily stayed at the park for a few more minutes, just until you cried out and walked back home. maybe it was time, it’s been years after all and christian deserve to know the truth. the whole day passed, ezekiel enjoyed spending it with you and the emmons, taking you both on a boat ride which ezekiel loved the most. seeing your child’s smile from ear to ear warmed your heart, yet you felt guilty. since ezekiel was born, there was this guilt that was running through your heart; that nagging guilt saying that you were depriving both of them by taking away the chance to be in each other’s life. 

fuck it, i’m gonna do it. you thought to yourself in the middle of the night while staring at the ceiling.

christian thought his eyes were deceiving him the moment he saw the notification, his fingers immediately pressing on the message. usually, he would ignore message requests, but as he saw your name, he had flashbacks all of a sudden. it’s been five years, yet your name was still imprinted in his mind. five years of thinking where did he go wrong in your relationship, if there was something he did that made you end your relationship, and if it had something to do with his career. five years ago, his career was thriving and his love life came crashing. 

he remembered the night you broke up with him, it was when you flew to visit him during your winter break and it happened on a typical day. the two of you did the usual routine since you arrived, wake up together, eat together and after that, he went to training while you stayed at his place. by the time he arrived, you ate dinner together. he even offered to wash the dishes as you already cooked. life was perfect, or so he thought. 

“is there something bothering you?” he asked when he noticed the change of mood while you two lied in bed. “talk to me.”

“it’s just nothing.” 

normally, christian would ask you again–if you were okay, what was bothering you and all. but this time, he heard your tone that signified you weren’t really in the mood, so he let it go. the two of you cuddled up in bed, with you as the little spoon and listening to each other breathing. until you asked him a question.

“what do you think of kids, chris?”

“what do you mean what do i think of kids?”

“you know, what is your opinion about kids? about having and raising your own?”

christian chuckles, letting you turn around to face him. “well, i would like to have one, maybe two or three.” he answered, “but definitely not now. we’re still young, we have dreams to achieve. big dreams in our careers. what about you?”

there was a brief moment of silence before you spoke up, “yeah, same answer as you, i guess.”

he remembers changing the topic that night, he didn’t notice your lack of energy speaking to him–thinking that maybe you were just tired and weren’t in the mood to speak. the following day, same routine. only then, when he arrived home, you two got into an argument that eventually led to the end of your relationship.

hey, i can make time. we can meet tomorrow. after agreeing where you’ll meet, christian couldn’t help but wonder what was the reason behind it. will it be the closure he’s been longing for the past five years?

morning came and only a few hours left until you meet christian. you let emily know about your plan, agreeing to watch ezekiel and let you borrow her car to drive to the park where you and christian agreed to meet. to say that you were nervous was an understatement of what you’re feeling. you still wonder what his reaction would be and how he would take such a huge news you were about to drop. 

the time left passed by so quickly. you kissed your son goodbye and drove to carlin park. when you arrived, you were stunned by the number of people. surely, you didn’t want to tell your baby daddy that you were pregnant with his child in front of hundreds of people, especially since he was a known athlete. anxiety pools all over you again, taking deep breaths before getting out of the car and head to the agreed place. 

“christian?” you called, walking towards him. he turned around and smiled at you. you haven’t seen this man in years. he has changed so much, he looked like a stranger you know too well. his beard was fully grown, it looked good on him. his left arm was filled with tattoos. looking at christian now, you could see what ezekiel would look like in the future; after all, he was the spitting image of his father.

“it’s nice to see you again, y/n.” he said, “shall we go for a walk at the beach or do you want to sit down?”

“we could go for a walk.”

you could hear your heart thumping at this point as you walked alongside christian. 

“it's been five years, y/n. how have you been?” he asked.

you took a deep breath, “well, i graduated. i also work now, so i guess i’m fine.” you answer, not sure if it was the answer he wanted to hear. “and i apologise for asking to meet up last minute. if i ever clashed with a schedule of yours.”

“it’s okay, i still have a few days before i leave for milan anyway.” he answered, “why did you want to meet all of a sudden? and i’m a bit shocked that you know where i stay now.”

this is it, y/n. you cannot fuck this up. “actually, i didn’t know that you lived around the area. i blocked you in every social media i have, muted your name and tried my best to avoid seeing your name. just last night, i found out that you live here now. the internet’s a scary place, you know?” you said, “but, aside from that, i do have something to tell you. something big and important.”

christian chuckles awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “uh, okay. what is it?”

“do you remember the night we broke up?”

“can’t really forget about it.” he replied, “why?”

“the night before i asked you what you think about having kids, and you said you’d like to have one but you said we still had dreams to achieve, right?” he nodded, “well, that day i actually found out that i…i was pregnant. 5 weeks back then.”

christian stopped his tracks and when you looked back at him, his face dropped and his eyebrows were furrowed. confusion was spread all over his face.

“i–i didn’t ask to meet you because i need some sort of financial support for the kid or whatever, i just wanted to let you know.” you said, biting your lip as he stayed silent. “if you want to do some paternity tests, i would gladly let you.”

“no, no. i uh, believe you.” he replied, “is the baby…?”

“he’s four and has the same birthday as you, chris. he’s doing well in preschool, and uh…” you paused, pulling out your phone from your pocket and opened a picture of ezekiel to show him. “this is him. his name’s ezekiel mate. he’s your mini me.”

“mate?”

“yeah, well… at first i wanted to give him your last name but i thought it’ll stir controversy so i opted to give him your middle name.” you confessed, passing him your phone. “i hope that doesn’t bother you, christian but i understand if it does. and really, i apologise for telling you this so late.”

christian looked at ezekiel’s picture, examining his facial features that reminded you of him. ezekiel looked like him when he was still a kid, he could see some of your features there as well and there is no doubt that this wasn’t his kid. the pulisic genes were strong and evident. 

the two of you continued to walk along the beach, christian was asking you questions about ezekiel until you two stopped in the part of the beach where there were less people. you were both staring at the horizon, it was then when christian asks you the question you’ve been avoiding. 

“did you… did you plan on telling me about him even before today?” 

“...yes” you breathed, “i–i was supposed to tell you, christian. i really wanted to, but you were just… you had a huge opportunity to showcase yourself in europe. i didn’t want to take that away from you.”

“why?”

“because i know how demanding your job could be. it was already demanding when we were together, it ate a lot of our time together. a part of me thought that maybe a child would be a huge inconvenience to your career.”

all the small milestones that ezekiel achieved, christian had missed out and you wouldn’t blame christian if he chooses to be mad or hate you for hiding his child from him. he had every right to do so after missing five years of his son’s life.

“why didn’t you reach out to me, to my family at least?”

“i was afraid, okay? i was young, we were young. i was figuring out who i wanted to be and obviously, being a young mother was something i did not expect that i’ll be.” you said, on the verge of tears.

“and so, was it okay for you? to be a young, single mom?” he fought back, “y/n, if you had told me before, you know i would do everything. i would’ve quit—”

“and that’s exactly why i didn’t tell you. i changed who i was to put you both first, christian. i wanted you to succeed, you had dreams. at the same time, i wanted a normal life for ezekiel.” you said, tears cascading out of your eyes. “you were achieving your lifelong dreams, christian. i didn’t want to interfere with that. i didn’t want you and your parents’ hard work to be cut short because of me, because of ezekiel.”

christian then realised the things you had gone through raising ezekiel alone. his heart broke when he heard the things people around you told you when your bump started showing. it hurts him to think that you’ve gone through it all alone–all the heartbreaking things people around you told you. even before, when you were still together, it was one of the things that he admired about you. you were a strong and resilient woman.

“can i… can i meet him?” 

that caught you off guard, “sure, i guess. when do you want to meet him?”

“tonight, if it’s okay with you?”

you nodded your head, a bit unsure how ezekiel would react. normally, he is shy when meeting new people. but this wasn’t any other person, this was his father. so when christian walked you back to the car and made sure you were inside, you dialled emily’s number.

“how’d it go?” was the first thing she said upon answering the call while you started the engine of the car.

“it went well, surprisingly.” you answered, “one little problem though.”

“what?”

“he uh, he wants to meet him. tonight.” you said, biting your lip. “would it be okay if christian came over at your place?”

“are you crazy? it’s more than okay! plus, it’s much safer and private here instead of going out. lots of people know him, you know?” 

you sighed, “i’m nervous, ems. i don’t know how zeke will react, i don’t even know what i’ll say to him.”

“zeke is a wonderful kid, i’m sure he will be okay when you tell him the truth.” emily reassures, “look, me and andrew will just be here to support you. no matter how it goes, alright?”

“thank you, ems. literally for everything.”

emily giggles on the other end, “hey, that’s what friends are for, silly!” she joked, “okay, now i’m gonna end this call to go get dinner ready. you get home safely!”

“dinner?”

“duh, christian pulisic is coming to my place and i’m not gonna serve him anything? i’m a very hospitable person, of course, i’ll make him something good.”

—

two hours of prepping dinner with the couple, christian rings the doorbell. emily whispered to you good luck as she and andrew stayed in the kitchen, keeping an eye on the food you all made while you head to the front door. you took a few breaths before opening the door for him. dressed in a simple button down with a shirt inside and a pair of shorts, holding a bouquet of flowers.

your heart skipped a beat. 

“hi,” he smiled, “these are for you.”

you make way for christian to enter the foyer, taking the flowers from his hands. “thank you, they’re pretty.” you compliment, “this is uh… emily and her husband’s place, by the way. we’re just visiting.”

just in time, emily and andrew entered the scene. “you remember emily, right?” you asked and he nodded.

“it’s been a while, christian.” emily smiled and introduced andrew to him. “dinner will be ready in a few. me and andrew are just in the kitchen if you need us.”

you led christian to the den, leaving him there as you went to get ezekiel. christian was nervous, just like you. he doesn’t know anything about parenting, or how to be a dad in general. he depended on such little information you told him about your son. everything was happening too fast, all he knows is that today was such a crazy day. one minute he finds out he has a son, the other he’s meeting him. he hasn’t even told his family about this information!

“zekey, could you promise to be good for mama?” you asked your son which christian heard, “remember when you asked mama if you had a papa?”

“yes, mama. you told me i had one but papa is just busy that’s why we haven’t seen him.” that broke christian’s heart.

“well, papa is here now.”

seeing ezekiel mate in person was a different feeling than seeing him on your phone earlier today. usually, when meeting new people, ezekiel would hide behind you and stay there until he feels comfortable. but this time, he didn’t. instead, he ran towards christian and gave him a hug.

“hello, papa.”

you bit your lower lip, trying to stop yourself from being emotional as you watch christian and ezekiel meet for the first time. 

“hello, ezekiel.” christian smiled, “i’m sorry, papa is so busy. but i’m here now.”

you’ve never seen ezekiel conversate with everybody else this way. he was engaging with every single question that christian asks him, telling him the little details about his life. god, why did you wait so long for these two to meet?

as the father and son get to know each other, you head to the kitchen to continue helping emily and andrew. emily was smiling at you when she saw you enter.

“i told you it’s gonna go well.” she said, “now that zekey and christian have met, what’s up with you and him?”

“what do you mean?”

“the flowers. maybe the two of you could reignite the spark you once had?”

you shook your head, continuing to mash the potatoes to serve later. “it’s not… it’s nothing like that. i doubt anything would happen between us, i mean, he’s probably dating someone.”

“really? you don’t see the two of you dating again?” andrew asked, and you shook your head again. “aww, i was almost excited to be friends with a star player. like, imagine the two of us barbecuing in the backyard?”

“babe, i think you’re man-crushing christian.” emily laughed. “but in all seriousness, y/n. no?”

“nope.” you replied, “like i said, he’s probably dating someone. plus it seems like we both moved on, we put the “us” in the past and i think it’ll stay that way.”

“what about zeke?”

you sighed, “we can co-parent, i guess. if he wants to, of course. i’m not going to force him into something he doesn’t want, at the end of the day, i still want what’s best for zeke and him.” you explained, “if he doesn’t want to co-parent, then that’s totally fine. i’ve raised zeke, i’m sure i can handle it.”

“really?”

“look,” you snapped, “i’m sorry guys, i love you both but… i just have a lot of things in my mind right now. it’s been a long day, can’t we just put the questions aside and just get through dinner?”

the couple nodded their heads. they understood where you were coming from, it wasn’t an easy decision for you to let ezekiel and his father meet, plus it all happened so fast and they were blabbing about the possibilities that could happen in the future. you left the two shortly after you helped them prepare the dining table, heading straight to where you left ezekiel and christian. 

ezekiel was in between christian’s legs, focused on his father’s phone as he showed him a compilation of his goals uploaded on youtube. when your son acknowledges your presence, he has the biggest smile on his face.

“mama, i want to play football like papa!”

you chuckle, taking a seat next to them. “well, i guess we could give it a try. but for now, let’s go eat dinner.” you tell your son, and he nodded his head, removing himself from christian’s grasp and ran out of the room, leaving you and his father alone. “so uh, just let me know if you’re uncomfortable during dinner. i can—”

“no, no, no. it’s okay.” christian said, “i, uh… about ezekiel—”

“we can talk about it after dinner.” you said, giving him a small smile as you walked to the dining. 

ezekiel was sandwiched between you and christian. the four adults exchanged stories, andrew expressing his shock upon finding out that the father of ezekiel is a star player for the national team. ezekiel adjusted with christian faster than you expected, knowing your son, it would usually take him a few more interactions before he started to talk to them completely but he was really comfortable with him. christian was his father after all.

after dinner, christian thanked the hosts of the house. he even offered to put ezekiel to bed, but the kid had too much energy left in his body and couldn’t sleep yet. he bid his goodbye to ezekiel, promising that they’ll meet and bond again soon which made ezekiel a bit sad, yet happy. when everything was already sorted out, you walked christian back to his car.

“today was… i don’t know, crazy and fun.” he admits, stopping next to his car. “it was a lot to process but i think i’m okay. more than okay with ezekiel, he’s… he’s a good kid and you’ve done so much for him. i’ve never met a kid so clever like him at a young age.”

you smile, you didn’t really expect his compliment and it made you shy. “thank you. i have to say, the people around him influenced him a lot.” you replied.

silence once again surrounded the two of you, you were both waiting for someone to speak–bring up the topic of co-parenting. you didn’t want to be the first one to ask him because it would feel like you were pressuring christian, and christian didn’t want to be the first one to ask you because he knew it would be such a huge adjustment for you and ezekiel.

“y/n” christian called.

you look up to him, staring directly into his honey brown eyes. again, no one was talking. just the sound of the wind and a broken street light not far from where you were standing. the space between you and christian was getting smaller and smaller, his hands gently making their way to your jaw. and the next thing you know, your lips were connected. feeling his lips on yours made your heart beat faster, butterflies in your stomach were getting crazier. 

you pulled away, holding his wrist. his forehead and nose on yours as you both catched your breath and closed your eyes. christian felt tears on his cheeks, causing him to open his eyes. 

“i can’t… we can’t–” you said, pulling away from him.

“y/n–”

“i’m sorry, chris.” 

you ran back inside the house, leaving christian alone in the driveway and he stood there frozen as he tried to process what had happened. did he move too fast? were you overwhelmed by his actions? questions ran through the player’s mind. maybe he did move too fast, and maybe you were scared that history may repeat itself. but this time, christian wanted to let you know that it wouldn’t, that he would do his best to conquer everything. christian was determined to have you again, because this time it isn’t only you he’s fighting for. 

he was fighting for you and ezekiel.

#christian pulisic angst #christian pulisic imagine #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic #christian pulisic fluff #christian pulisic scenario #christian pulisic x you #football imagine #football x y/n #football x reader #football angst

[prince-kallisto]

Spoiler warning for Book 5 of Playful Land!

So from what I’m seeing so far…the Playful Land ending was surprisingly lackluster? Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) I haven’t read the entirety of the story because I can’t read Japanese, so I’m just relying on scattered translations and what others have been saying on Twitter, but…

Did we ever get a concrete backstory for Fellow and Gidel?? Like. It’s cute and everything that Fellow decides to open a school for magicless students, but…aren’t there plenty of schools for people who don’t have magic? Magicless people make up the Twisted Wonderland population, unless it’s sort of a hint at the inequalities between mages and non mages

But I’m a little confused about how this played out -v- Like. Was there no explanation or repercussions for all the human trafficking lmao?? 😭 Fellow what happened to the other human puppets. How can you jut Quit your job that’s clearly run by an abusive human trafficker 🧍Like. I’m sure that guy can find you one day if you literally run away WITH THE PLAYFUL LAND SHIP THAT THE HUMAN TRAFFICKER OWNS

I’m not sure. Like I said, maybe I just missed a lot of translations, but I’ve been seeing other people express their confusion on the lack of backstory for Fellow and Gidel. How did such a young boy like Gidel get roped into this? How did these two meet? Literally how bad was Fellow’s life that he resorted to working for human traffickers than literally any other job??

And I was already getting concerned about this when Book 4 dropped, but I didn’t want to sound pessimistic. But it feels like the event spent way too much time on the boys slowly getting the wooden masks, and not on the SSR trip of Ortho, Ace, and Kalim, and the idea of temptation. The boys gained the wooden masks for breaking honestly really stupid rules, like Leona and the “no loitering” sign. It was pretty funny, but I thought Playful Land would delve deeper into the idea of temptation and sin, much like the og Pinocchio.

And another thing, I really thought Ortho would have an arc about his “soul,” and delving deeper in what made Ortho his own person despite being a robotic humanoid, like the wooden puppet Pinocchio wanting to be a real boy. I suppose it could be a vignette thing, but it could’ve been a key part of the main story too.

Idk, all the boys selected really had the possibility of their desires being exploited. Fellow slowly figuring out how to tempt them with illusions or just offering the possibilities, putting them in a trance, SOMETHING. I feel like it could’ve been a really angsty moment with Lilia haha.

Overall, Playful Land had the opportunity to get very psychological-horror type, and examining the idea of temptation and how social status affects the individuals in the Twisted Wonderland world, spanning from mages vs nonmages, the strength of your magic, education, homelessness, etc. Maybe my expectations were brought too high from all the incredible fanart and headcanons I’ve been seeing around during this event? But it’s a shame how this events ending turned out so lackluster, when it had SO much potential to be much more. Haha, I already sort of want to rewrite the event…which is fun I suppose, but not the first feeling I’d like to have at the reveal of the ending.

I think the 2D model animations and the idea of the new characters were amazing though! It definitely redeemed some parts of this for me, but I still can’t help but feel a little disappointed. However, I’m really glad there’s so much fan work about Fellow and Gidel 💞

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst spoilers #twst playful land #twst event #twst gidel #twst fellow #kallistopost

[ladyloveandjustice]

Otherside Picnic Volume 8 Review that Devolves into a Bunch of Quotes and Gushing

I’ve been wanting to do a review of Otherside Picnic Vol 8 because I loved it so much, but haven’t been in the right mindspace to properly convey my enthusiasm. But I’m about to get busy so it’s now or never. Here are my thoughts that are inevitably going to devolve into a bunch of quotes and gushing. Let's just go through it all!

-I loved this so much, first off. It literally inspired me to have an honest discussion with my partner about my own intimacy and relationship quirks and what we want from each other. It made me feel a little better about myself and my own weirdness, that’s how much it affected me. It really got across the relief of just communicating in a relationship, of having frank conversations with your partner, and accepting your differences from the mainstream as okay.

-The conversation about romance, love, and sex being different actually made me tear up, which is how I knew this book would murder me from the beginning. It’s just so nice to see one of my favorite yuri and favorite romantic stories ever acknowledge asexuality and the full spectrum of experiences in such an understanding and thoughtful way.

-I love that this book really recontextualizes the oblivious-to-love protagonist, slow-burn and often stalled development that aren’t uncommon in animanga adjacent media romances and made it into something incredibly interesting. This was already hinted at in previous volumes, but Sorawo’s disconnect with her own feelings and slowness in responding to Toriko wasn’t just to tease the audience, but because her view of romance and her understanding of her own feelings conflicted with societal ideas of romance and it left her lost and confused. It makes everything that came before it so much more meaningful. This is also extremely relatable, and I love that Sorawo was frustrated with the idea of her relationship fitting into a socially acceptable box, when she felt what she had with Toriko was a lot more complicated and far reaching and didn’t want to define it so neatly.

-Honestly reading about Sorawo not being all that into kissing and basically being like "I don't hate it but it doesn't do anything for me" made me feel a little bit less alone and little more confident in talking about this aspect of my experience. ME TOO. GIRL.

-Every single yuri should have a line like “sounds to me like you’re a raging lesbian” from now on. How can anything ever live up to this.

-Toriko looking into sexual abuse gave me a heart attack because at first I thought she was trying to understand what happened with her and Satsuki. But she was researching Sorawo, because the stuff with the Red Person made her realize Sorawo has trauma and I felt so vindicated about my article. Then we have the hilarity of Sorawo, who literally has a “cult mode” when she’s made to relive where she had to deal with abuses from cults, where she becomes like a different person and talks to herself like she’s a separate person and is disconnected from her normal self…claiming she doesn’t have lingering cult trauma and doesn’t dissociate.

And then Toriko going “uhhhh what about the Red Person?”

“Huh oh that didn’t count. Cuz your love saved me.”

THE most un-self aware person, I love her.

(And EVERYONE knows it, especially Toriko, loved this exchange:

“Don’t try to force something I’m not aware of onto me.”

“Sorawo, there aren’t many things about you that you actually display self-awareness of.”

“Wow, insulting much?!” )

-The fact Toriko noticed how thirsty Sorawo was for her the second they met is so funny and makes that scene 100 times better in hindsight.

“It took me by surprise. Here I am, holding you in my arms, and you go and stare at my face, then your eyes start working their way down. I was like, ‘Girl sure has a lot of energy for someone who almost drowned.’”

“So, what? When you were talking about me ogling you before, you meant—”

“Yeah, right from the get-go. From the moment you saw me for the first time.”

Sorawo didn’t realize she was doing it…the entire exchange is hilarious. SO much of this book was hilarious honestly, here are some other choice quotes:

Who would’ve known there could be such a touching scene right next to a shelf stuffed full of erotic manga with titles so incredible that I couldn’t possibly name them...?

And this, the best love confession ever:

“I love you! I love you!”

“For real?”

“Apparently!”

-I really liked that Toriko was genuinely worried Sorawo might not have consented to the previous kisses and might be bothered by them. It built on the ongoing theme of Toriko struggling with emotional and physical boundaries, giving her such good character growth, and It shows a concern and care most stories gloss over.

…Which is kind of a stark contrast to the lack of concern she shows about that time she hit Sorawo in volume 6, despite Sorawo bringing it up as a problem. This has been an ongoing issue that’s bothered me, and it’s been mentioned often enough I hope Miyazawa is going to actually do something to address it. He DID address the questionable consent of the earlier kisses, going beyond my expectations, so I actually have my fingers crossed this is something we’re going to explore and confront. It’s really jarring compared to the rest of how well everything else has been handled, and is the only mark against the story, so I’m hoping this is intentional. The Toriko who worries Sorawo might have been sexually abused and goes above and beyond to try to be sensitive and understand her and the Toriko who is dismissive of the time she hit her (now) partner seem so in opposition to each other, and I there could be some interesting exploration and resolution of that.

(Miyazawa does mention something about having to treat serious issues casually because of Sorawo's detached, cynical POV and hoping readers will understand; and I think it's likely he was referring to that, which gives me more confidence).

-Sorawo understands Toriko’s moms are lesbians now I’m so proud of her.

-the fact that Toriko wanted to fuck in her dead parents bedroom …she has so many problems, I cherish her.

-I loved getting more Toriko backstory and her moms. Love Sorawo being like “wow I probably should have asked about this but…” YES YOU SHOULD HAVE, FOR MY SAKE. But Sorawo’s focus on living in the here and now, and being content with the Toriko in the here and now, is such an interesting aspect of her.

-EVERYthing about the final scene was so good. Like how can I even talk about it? Toriko fucking Sorawo with her weirdass interdimensionally-corrupted hand while getting jazzed by Sorawo's magic eye is just PEAK lesbian fantasy, no other series had delivered this exact weirdness that I want, thank you for being there for all of us bizarre sapphics.

“I...might make you go crazy.”

“That’s okay.”

Toriko’s hand drew closer. It meant something different now than it had before. If Toriko touched me now, I’d be the one to go insane. She snuggled up to me, so close our noses could touch, and with a voice full of heated passion, she whispered, “Let’s go crazy. Together.”

“Girl hit me with your evil eye, let’s get real fucked up” I love them, they’re such freaks and I am here for it. THE PASSION. THE METAPHOR. THE PURE CHUUNI WISH FUFILLMENT.

-Honestly I just highlighted the entire final scene because it hit me right in my weird gay little soul the way few other things have and I want to be able to whip these out the next time some loser says wlw media doesn’t have poetic declarations of love and passion so I’m just going to go through them.

Here’s one:

But that’s not what happened. Toriko looked beautiful, opening before me like a flower in bloom, and I was aware of every minute branch of the tree, down to their very tips…[]

Toriko became rude, polite, lewd, or embarrassed. I didn’t have the composure to focus or think as I watched, so Toriko changed from one thing to another as my gaze wandered. Laughing, getting angry, crying, fearing, moaning—feeling as if she were flowing from one state to the next, in constant flux, and yet in all of them simultaneously.

Sorawo accepting all sides of Toriko, all her complexity, how she’s everything all at once! And the fact they have such amazing sex they basically GO TO THE OTHERSIDE? Dimension transcending lesbian sex? Showstopping, incredible.

The way her hand moved, tracing the outline of my body—its true outline—was as gentle as could be, sensitive yet bold, overflowing with care, incredibly unreserved, and audacious. It felt like it was packed full of all the experiences of being touched by another person. In another way, different from mine, Toriko was unraveling the person that I was too. I was being decomposed, broken apart. The things that had been pressed into a human form were decompressed, and expanded outwards without limit.

This is how you do a sex scene. If your partner doesn’t unravel you and make you see all the shattered pieces of yourself, is it even worth it? I love the motif of falling apart but becoming more whole at the same time- isn’t that just every human experience all wrapped up into one?

I had been afraid to look at Toriko. Toriko had been afraid to touch me. Now, as we were looking at, or touching, our partner directly, tossed about on the waves of madness, we began to gradually find a way to take control of the situation.

The idea of how maybe you can’t help losing your minds when you look and feel all the other person is…but maybe if you lose your minds together it will be okay. Romance.

These two beasts with all these bodies converged through their desire for one another and were bound together. We were blending together at the interfaces where we connected. The different ‘us’s melted together, without ever becoming a perfect whole, but without fully separating either. Like a chimera made from two types of living being. Or two galaxies colliding.

“We became a chimera” is the absolute nerdiest way to describe making love and thus perfect for them (also lol the beast with two backs).

That’s too long, so how about shortening it to Soratori?” I burst out laughing as I remembered the time she’d tried to use the name Soratori Road for what we now called Route 1 in the other world. “

That’s like one of those ship names,” I told her.

“What’re those?”

“You’re a mangaka’s daughter and you don’t know that?!”

“Nope, not a clue. Is it something dirty?”

“Well, maybe?”

“Hmm.”

Okay, so Sorawo is clearly in some fandom and ships something. Place your bet on what it is. Probably she ships creepypasta monsters.

Do you know what the ‘nue’ is?”

“It’s a Japanese monster, right? Made up of a bunch of different animals mixed together.” “Yeah, that’s the one. As an extension of that, the word can also refer to something that doesn’t have a discernible form.”

[...]

While we were there, the two of us got all mixed up together, right? Intertwined, melting into one, like animals... Depending on how you look at it, you might say we were like a nue.”

“So, basically, if you wanted a word to represent our relationship, we wouldn’t be ‘lovers,’ or ‘accomplices’...but a ‘nue’?”

Okay forget what I said this is ACTUALLY the nerdiest way to describe your relationship. And speaking of nerds, I love this stupid conversation:

“It’s cute. Nue. I like the sound of it. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo of the kanji.”

“You’d take it that far?”

“You’re not gonna get a matching one?”

“They might not let us in the hot springs in Japan anymore. You sure?

” “Huh?! I wouldn’t like that... You think it’d be okay if we put them somewhere no one will see?”

“Where would no one see? This is sounding painful, and I’m not really on board with it.”

“Wha?”

-

Anyway, yeah, this section was everything I wanted, no notes. Toriko and Sorawo have the most demented, fantastical sex possible, having a threesome with the otherside because they all are strange and wonderful, being the nerdiest dorks it’s possible to be, their relationship is now a chimera because that’s even better and more all encompassing that something boring like lovers, Miyazawa really gave us it all, love wins, gays win. What more can I say? I adore this series.

#otherside picnic #otherside picnic 8 spoilers #my reviews #books #yuri #sorawo kamikoshi #toriko nishina #soratori

[pimosworld]

Moonshine

TLOU x Triple Frontier crossover AU

Pairing-Joel Miller x f!reader x Francisco morales

Summary-You we’re a bartender at Joel’s place and everyone knew you were his but when you meet Francisco Morales you wonder if there’s room in your life for one more.

Rating-18+,NSFW, MDNI

Content warnings- alcohol consumption, cursing,smut,angst,fluff,violence,unprotected piv, mentions of mm dynamics, soft dom Joel.

Wk-5k

Chapter summary-Joel gets dirty in his office and Frankie and Moonshine get to know each other a little better.

New characters- Link to characters who have been or will be introduced.

A/N- See series Masterlist for full story notes. Joel loves getting it in his office and we start things off slow with Frankie but I promise it’s coming for the three of them. Don’t be too hard on my French

Not beta read

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Chapter III Breaking the Ice

“Don’t bullshit me Fish, I saw the way you were looking at her.” Will paces the small apartment situated above the bar. 

  “I’m a man with eyes, I’m allowed to look. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna do anything.” He points to Santi leaning against the wall. 

  “Don’t bring me into this hermaño, I already paid for what I did.” Santi had a reputation for fucking people he shouldn’t and he evidently fucked the wrong firefly. Hence the reason they went on the run. 

  Frankie would be lying if he didn’t admit to having inappropriate thoughts about you and Joel but he was here to do a job and try to stay in one place. It wasn’t safe moving around as often as they did, they couldn’t afford to lose another person. 

  “Pope let’s go, I don’t want to be late for our meeting with Joel.” Santi looks at the other two men apologetically as he follows Will out the door. 

  “Don’t worry Fish, you know he’s always jumpy when we get to a new place.” Ben plops down on the couch in the middle of the room stretching his legs across Frankie’s. He’s never been keen on personal space. 

  “He’s right though Ben, I felt something last night that I haven’t felt in a long time. How am I supposed to do my job with her looking at me that way?” 

  “Don’t think I missed the way Joel was looking at you…I think you should just ignore Will, he needs to get laid.” 

  “I think we should all keep it in our pants for the time being.” Frankie’s not sure how long he’ll be able to take his own advice. 

  “All bets are off with Santi, he’s already got his eye on Charity.” At least his current love interest seemed trustworthy if Joel was willing to employ her. 

  Ben stands abruptly from the couch as he mimics a fight with the air. “I hope there’s some action tonight.” The amount of unbridled energy he had was beyond words. 

  “Well I hope tonight is uneventful. I’ve had enough action for a lifetime.” 

  “I doubt that Fish.” Ben waggles his eyebrows at the older man as he resumes his fight with a ghost. 

  “I was gonna ask if you wanted some coffee but I don’t think you need anything.” He stands slowly from the couch wondering when his knees got so creaky. 

  “I’m actually gonna head back to my apartment until it’s time for work, knock when you want to head down.” He pulls him into a tight hug, never shying away from affection. He was more open than his brother and Frankie enjoyed that despite their circumstances Benny always kept a jovial outlook on life. 

  Frankie’s left alone still having several hours until his shift starts at the bar. Plenty of time to get a grip on what he was doing. 

  ****

  Joel left earlier than you to meet Santi and Will at the bar, which left you plenty of time to get ready for the night. After your early wake up, he beckoned you back to bed to spend a few more hours between the sheets. 

  This relaxed carefree Joel was so nice to see after he’s spent so much time worrying about others. He opened up to you often about how much guilt he felt in not being able to keep his daughter safe. The guilt compounded with Tommy’s death. You know he worries about you no matter how long it’s been. 

  You checked your appearance making sure you looked appropriate for the walk to the bar, a modest pair of jeans and your signature combat boots. It wasn’t uncommon for you to pack a bag of different clothes to wear during your shift. Joel wasn’t one of those guys who wanted you to dress a certain way but you knew better than to draw unwanted attention walking around the QZ alone. 

  You felt safe enough with it still being daylight but you had your black skirt and weathered Prince shirt your sister gave to you that you cropped once the hem started to fray tucked away in your bag. The bar was the place you could be yourself, you felt so confident and Joel always made you feel like you could walk on water. 

  It’s not like you were trying to seduce Frankie or maybe you were. You had never done anything like this before, having to impress someone you were interested in. You were hoping you weren’t reading into the situation all wrong. 

  Joel swept you off your feet within days of meeting him but this felt different. You didn’t want to scare him away by saying my boyfriend (your boss) and I are interested in you. It doesn’t really roll off the tongue. But Joel had all but reassured you this morning that he meant what he said. Why don’t you get to know him? Getting to know him seemed like the best place to start. 

  ****

  You approach the brick building with a non distinct door and the only indication of a functioning business is the neon green open sign. The only difference is the usually quiet atmosphere inside is bustling with noise as you open the door. 

  Ben slightly startles you as he slides up behind you dropping his voice low. 

  “What’s your business here ma’m?” You turn to face him and he’s got the widest grin on his face you’ve ever seen. 

  “First of all it's Miss and secondly I know the owner.” He closed the small space between you while you both engage in a stare down, neither of you wanting to break. You have to crane your neck to look at him and you’re sure the sight is ridiculous. 

  He picks you up abruptly causing you to burst into laughter. 

  “Sorry Miss, I’m not one for formal introductions but seeing as I also know the owner I figured this was fine.” He sets you down and you hug him properly like someone you’ve known your entire life. He had that energy about him that would make anyone feel like family. He was after all. 

  “I have a serious question.” He smooths his hands along his shirt as he steps back. You nod in permission to continue. 

  “Does this shirt make me look intimidating?” He flexes his arms above his head. 

  “To be honest with you…the shirt is the least intimidating thing about you.” He deflates a little and gives you a confused look as you lightly pat his cheek with your hand. 

  You see Charity leaning against the bar which she usually managed just fine during the slow hours when you were home. Santi is seated in the stool on the other side twirling her hair in his fingers as she giggles at some indecent joke you’re sure. 

  She sees you approaching and pulls her attention away to blow you a kiss. She was your best friend, the person you could talk to about anything. It helped that she was a little older than you the same age your sister would’ve been. When you first arrived you thought maybe her and Joel had a past but he quickly reassured you that it had never and will never happen. He said she reminded him too much of his daughter.

   It helped having another woman around to navigate this new world. She picked up right where your sister left off and you formed a bond that would stand the rest of time. You wished Joel had someone like that for him but it was hard for him to let people in. 

  “Hey babe, Joel told me to have you come to his office when you got in.” She winks at you and bites her bottom lip and it doesn’t go unnoticed how Santi has all eyes on her. 

  You lean across the bar and plant a kiss on her cheek before nudging Santi with your shoulder. 

  “Encantada de verte luna.” He leans over and plants a kiss on your temple. 

  “Es bueno verte también Santiago.” 

  He dramatically clutches at fake pearls. “She speaks the mother tongue.”

  “Of course she does.” Charity chimes in. “I taught her everything I know…or as much as I can remember from childhood.” He knows all too well about things forgotten long ago.

  “Well Frankie is an amazing teacher so he can pick up where you left off.” You don’t miss the smirk into his glass as he takes a long sip of water. 

  Your cheeks grow hot and sweat beads at your neck at the mention of Frankie. You really needed to get a grip. You playfully swat at his arm before heading to the back office. 

  “Be careful with that one.” You call over your shoulder.

  “I’m harmless cariño.” You turn to face them before disappearing down the hallway. 

  “I wasn’t warning her Santiago.” 

  ***

  You lightly knock on the office door before entering to see Will seated standing near the desk hugging Joel. Joel didn’t hug many people so you knew this was special. Will turns to greet you with a smile on his face and you realize this is the first time you’ve seen him smile since he arrived. 

  His blue eyes resemble his brothers but his rugged features bring an edge to him that suits him so perfectly. He was handsome but even more so when he looked happy. 

  “Hi Will.”

  “Hi hon, I’m sorry about yesterday it just takes me a little to shake the edge off after we travel.” He pulls you into the tightest bear hug. You inhale his scent of freshly washed laundry and melt into the warm embrace of his large chest. There was something about these men that just made you feel like home. 

  “You don’t need to apologize to me, I’m glad you all are safe and home.” 

  “I like the sound of home.” He gives Joel one last pat on the shoulder as he makes his way out of the office. 

  Joel has a seat in the chair behind his desk, legs spread wide with a mischievous look in his eye. He beckons you over as you take a sideways seat in his lap. Mindlessly running your fingers through his hair as he hums in approval. 

  “How are you feeling?” 

  “Mmmm much better now that I know you’re safe.”  You lean in and kiss the permanent crease in his brow as he lets his eyes flutter closed. 

  His hand drifts under the hem of your shirt gripping your waist tight as he pulls you further into his chest. His lips ghost over your neck before slowly dragging his teeth along your pulse point. Your body shivers at his touch, he knew every spot that made you weak. Years of mapping out your body and taking you a part in various ways. 

  “Someone’s needy today, I thought you had enough this morning.” His other hand drifts behind your neck as he crashes his lips into yours. 

  “I always need you darlin’, it’ll never be enough.” His words are desperate, punctuated by each kiss as his hand drifts to your front, his large palm squeezing your breast drawing a high pitched whine from your throat. 

  You can feel the heavy weight of his bulge pressed against your thigh and you involuntarily grind your hips into him. He groans from deep within as he licks a stripe up your neck and bites gently on your earlobe. He has you so keyed up just from his touch, it’s all consuming and you could come just like this as he ruts his hips into you in desperation. 

  You don’t register him standing until your front is pressed against his desk as he forcibly bends you over. Your cheek is flush with the desk and your arms are splayed out in front of you. 

  “Joel…I didn’t lock the door.” You pant out as you hear the faint sound of his belt buckle. 

  He pulls your jeans and panties down in one motion as he lines himself with your entrance. He slowly drags his cock through your folds feeling how wet you are, your slick is coating your thighs as it drops down. 

  “You afraid someone might come in.” He pushes in at the last word, you inhale sharply as the stretch takes the breath from your lungs. 

  His hips are flush with yours as his hands tighten around your waist. He leans forward giving you a moment to breathe as he places a gentle kiss on your back. 

  “You might want to hold onto some thin’ Shine.” His words are low in your ear and you grip the front of the desk. His hips slam into yours as he sets a brutal pace. You stifle your moans into your arm as he punches something deep inside. 

  “Oh…fuck Joel.” You whimper softly as the sound of skin slapping and the desk creaking can be heard through the room. He grunts with every thrust as you feel every vein and ridge dragging through your walls bringing you closer to your climax. 

  “Why so quiet?” He brings his hand around your throat lightly squeezing as he lifts you flush with his chest. “Don’t you want Francisco to hear you?” You squeeze around him as a fresh wave of slick coats the base of his cock. 

  “You want him to see you takin me so well.” His words send you over the edge as you reach behind you gripping his hair, lightning flashes behind your eyes as you come with a silent o.  

  His pace falters and you can tell he’s reaching his end, his words always left you breathless but two can play that game. 

  “You want me to teach him how?” Your voice is barely above a whisper in his ear as his body tensed up, slamming his hand down on the desk groaning loudly, and shamelessly as he fills you up thrusting once and twice. His head drops to your shoulder as you both catch your breath. 

  “Shit.” He curses under his breath as he releases his grip on you. 

  “What is it?” You turn around to see him looking down at your jeans below you, small dark stains on the front pooled by your feet. 

  “Don’t worry, I brought extra clothes for my shift.” You move to step out of your jeans but he places a firm hand on your back and guides you back down to the desk. 

  “Where do you think you’re goin’?” He reaches into his drawer for a rag as he gently cleans you from behind. The gesture is always so intimate even in his demanding way. He places a soft kiss on your back before helping you stand again, turning you to face him. All the worry and stress gone from his posture as he adjusts his pants and belt buckle. 

  “I’m supposed to go to work after that?” You shuffle your way around the desk to rifle through your bag,shucking off your boots. You pull on your skirt and replace your sweaty shirt with your crop top. Giving a spin when you're done.

  “You look gorgeous as always….and yes Shine, you always go to work after that.” You do your best pouty face when there's a knock on the door. 

  “It’s Frankie, you asked to see me?” You quickly shove your clothes in your bag and nearly trip trying to get your boots back on. 

  “Come on in.” 

  He slowly opens the door as you try to look anywhere but his face, you’re awkwardly standing next to the desk as he moves to sit in the seat across from Joel. You don’t know why you’re being so weird, it’s not as if he knows what you two were just doing while talking about him. 

  “I’m gonna head out and get the bar set up.” You turn around and before you know it you’re face down on the floor, your traitorous untied boots no doubt the culprit. 

  Frankie’s up in a flash helping you to your feet. The close proximity of his hands on your waist and the concern in his eyes is enough to make you melt. You feel a heavy presence behind you as you find yourself once again between Joel and Frankie. They have to stop doing this. 

  “Are you okay?” You're dizzy and not from the fall as you slowly register Frankie speaking. 

  “Yes I’m fine…just very clumsy.” Joel turns you around tilting your chin up with his finger, moving your head side to side. 

  “As you can see…she’ll need your help walking home tonight.” He smirks at you and you bite your bottom lip to quell the rage inside at his comment. You know he was teasing but right now is not the time. But since he wants to keep playing games. 

  You kneel down slowly not missing the way Frankie clears his throat. You begin to lace your boots not breaking eye contact with Joel, yet your face is level with his ever growing problem. He bites down on his bottom lip clenching his fists at his side. 

  Frankie can feel his palms sweating, he doesn’t know if he should run or pull you up and bend you over the desk. He’s trying to look anywhere else but the way you’re looking up at Joel has him dancing on the edge of no return. 

  A knock at the door feels like an eternity in your compromising position. Your heart is hammering in your chest hoping someone doesn’t open it. 

  “Hey Shine, it’s getting busy out here.” Charity’s voice comes soft through the door.

  “Coming.” You call out and snatch your bag from the ground. You place a chaste kiss in Joel’s lips before quickly retreating from the office,not bothering to look at Frankie on your way out. 

  Joel’s not often left speechless but the red that’s creeped up Frankie’s neck is all but confirmation at what he wants. He steps away before he does something rash and sits in his chair. 

  “I have to meet with some people tonight so I’ll need you to take her home.” 

  “Of course…do you need anything else?” Yes

  “Just look after her while she works, make sure nobody’s giving her a hard time.” He adjusts in his seat trying to look him in the eyes and not where he wants to wander. 

  “No problem Mr. Miller.” 

  “Please call me Joel.”  Frankie hesitates before turning to leave the office. 

  “No problem Joel.”

  ****

  The bar is busy as you try to handle the high volume of drinks you’re making. Frankie leans against the wall at the end of the row with one leg on the sink essentially keeping anyone from walking behind. 

  It all sounded so romantic…protect the lady and walk her home but it was much more than that below the surface. You benefited heavily from being one of two of the busiest bars in the QZ, but if ration cards weren’t being exchanged none of it mattered. 

  You knew there were plenty of days where you got so busy you didn’t notice someone slip out without paying or maybe someone drank more than their rations provided. It was a luxury to drink for some and a necessity for others. 

  Yes Frankie had an important job but each man had a specific task. Frankie needed to protect you but also he needed to make sure everyone paid and if they didn’t they would have to answer to Santi. Will was tasked with rival gangs and elicit activities not taking place inside the bar. If they’ve already been told not to come back then they would need to answer to Benny at the door. 

  It was all carefully orchestrated by Joel. He’s spent years worrying about all of this and keeping you safe on top of that and now he has the reinforcement to truly run things the way he wants. 

  A short gruff man you know all too well whistles at you from the end of the bar signaling you over. “Hey Shine, I'm out of here.”

  “6 rations.” He licks his lips and slaps 4 cards on the bar top as he slides off his stool. 

  Frankie stands and pushes him against the hard wood before he can make a move for the door. 

  “You owe the lady two more unless you want me to take whatever you have left.” The man frantically looks to his side for support as Santi nods toward Benny placed at the door. 

  Will is seated in a booth scrubbing his jaw watching the scene unfold. 

  The man shakily reaches in his pocket procuring two more cards and bolting out the door. 

  The hush that had fallen over the room is replaced with the sweet melody of Charity over a string guitar. As if the slow motion spell was lifted, the bar is back to the clinking of glasses and the rousing laughter. 

  You glance over at Frankie who’s resumed his spot at the end of the bar, leg perched on the sink with a slight smile on his face. 

  The rest of the night goes without incident as the buzz of their presence has made itself known. You’re just finishing cleaning up while you and Charity have a nightcap. It sounded odd at a bar but Lavender tea was your perfect way to end the night. It also helped that it was easy to grow. 

  “I probably should’ve asked you for coffee…I’m planning on being up late.” She looks at Santi over her shoulder and you think he may have met his match. 

  “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble.” She sets her mug down, almost spilling the contents. 

  “Oh I’m trouble?…What was going on in the office earlier?” Touché 

  “It was an important meeting.” You take a sip of your tea to hide your smile. 

  “Well I have a very important meeting tonight regarding my religion…he’s a priest or something.” 

  You chortle into the tea as she tries to contain her laughter. 

  “He’s a pope actually and I hope he saves you from your sins.” 

  “You say my name Luna(Moon)?” Santi slides up next to her and your heart warms at the pet name. 

  “Oh nothing I just heard you’re doing some charity work tonight.” She buries her face in her hands as his eyes go wide. 

  Frankie’s laughter at the end of the bar startles you. You had all but forgotten him as he took his job very seriously. Pope flips him off as his laughter grows louder and you could definitely get used to that sound. 

  Santi loops his arm around Charity pulling her off the stool. “Goodnight Luna, get home safe.” He winks at you as they head towards the hallway giggling like teenagers. 

  Benny and Will head over after locking the door and shutting off the sign. You make your way around the bar and give Will a hug, after he turns to Frankie whispering something just out of ear shot. 

  You feel your feet leave the ground and you’re acutely aware of the force that is Benny hoisting you in the air before gently placing you down. 

  “Does he always do this?” Frankie and Will nod simultaneously at you before Will waves you off to head upstairs. 

  You turn to face Ben and somehow he’s still full of as much energy as he started the night with. His pale blue eyes piercing through you as he bounces from toe to toe. 

  “I changed my mind about your shirt.” He looks at you inquisitively awaiting your response as you stand on your toes to whisper in his ear. 

  “It’s very intimidating.” He looks at Frankie trying to hide the glossiness in his eyes before he leans down and kisses your cheek. “Goodnight sweetheart.” 

  Frankie doesn’t know what you did or what you said but he hasn’t seen his friends that happy in a long time. 

  ****

  The walk home feels foreign. Neither of you break the silence, only the sound of the ground crunching beneath your feet and the city nightlife stirring occasionally causing you to jump. 

  You lived in a relatively nice sector, because of Joel curfew was a suggestion and not necessarily a requirement, but the sounds of the other regions echoed off the brick walls jolting you back to reality. 

  You’re not gonna get anywhere with Frankie at this rate so you decide to break the ice. 

  “So tell me about yourself.” He looks at you sideways trying to ignore the innocent smile on your face. 

  “Not much to tell.” Ok stubborn 

  “How old are you?” He lets out a frustrated sigh. 

  “Older than you.” He’s got his hands tucked in his front pockets, his whole posture is different from the previous night. 

  “Vous êtes tellement frustrant.”-you are so frustrating. His eyebrows raise at the foreign language. 

  “Say it in Spanish and maybe I’ll listen.” His lack of confidence in you makes this game even more appealing. 

  “Eres tan frustrante.” Your smirk at him only further taunts the situation. 

  “Has anyone ever told you, you’ve got a smart mouth.” All the time.

  If he wasn’t going to easily supply information you would just have to use other means of persuasion. You decide to start skipping, just fast enough that he can’t keep up at his normal pace. 

  He’s desperately trying to not get to know you. The less he knows about you and you about him the easier it will be to fight these feelings he’s having. You’re not making it very easy when he has a perfect view of your ass all night while you bartend or the way you’ve fit so perfectly into his friends lives. Now apparently you speak fucking French and Spanish. This was going to be a losing battle. 

He jogs ahead to catch up with you and he’s so not in the mood for this but you’re just as stubborn as him it seems.

  “Fine I’ll talk if you stop skipping.” He’s slightly embarrassed at how out of breath he is. 

  You stop skipping but make no move to speak, waiting for him to lead the conversation where he wants. He doesn’t even know where to begin but he doesn’t want to start running again so he has to think fast. 

  “Where did you learn those languages?” 

  “Charity taught me most of my Spanish, it’s not a lot but I enjoy learning. I learned French from a book Joel found a long time ago.” You’ve piqued his interest at your desire to learn despite this harsh new world you live in. 

  “I could teach you more if you’re interested.” You try to hide your smile and tamp down some of your giddiness at the prospect of him letting some walls down. 

  “I would love that…I could teach you French if you want.” He laughs for the first time all night as he loosens up a little more. 

  “I don’t know if I can learn new things…especially French. I’m sure I’ll butcher it.” 

  “It’s never too late to learn new things.” He looks over at you and he doesn’t remember getting so close. The sincerity in your eyes is too much and he clears his throat as he looks anywhere but your face. 

  “So how’d you meet Joel?” You let out a long sigh as you mindlessly kick a rock out of your path. 

  “It’s a long story…he helped me when I needed it most.” 

  “I’m sure there’s more to that story.” He was starting to enjoy talking to you but he can tell that’s a subject that may have the conversation ending before he’s ready too. 

  “There’s definitely more to it…maybe I’ll tell you one day.” 

  He feels you shiver slightly against his shoulder and without hesitation pulls you into him for warmth. He curses to himself at how perfectly you fit under his arm. 

  “You should’ve brought some pants for the walk, it’s cold.” I had pants.

  “Ya I wasn’t thinking, I will next time.” You might forget again just so you can feel the protective weight of his arm draped around you as you walk the rest of the way in silence. 

  He takes note of the much nicer townhouse as you climb the steps ahead of him. Thankfully your skirt was just long enough or he would’ve got a glimpse of something he couldn’t tear his eyes away from. 

  You dig into your bag for your keys, trying to shield him from the pants placed directly on top of everything. 

  “Do you want to come in for a drink? I hate that you have to walk me home and then just head back.” You open the door slightly, he gets a small peek into your open living room set up much like Joel’s office. 

  “I really shouldn’t…don’t worry about me, it's my job.” He nervously scrubs the back of his neck, he doesn’t miss the way you wince a little at the mention of being a job. 

  “Okay…bonne nuit Francisco.” You slowly close the door and lock it behind you.

  “Buenas noches mi Luna.”

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𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

Kento Nanami

[Chapter 3] Failed Relationships and Surprises

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Pairing: Kento Nanami x f!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Nanami and Getou being an ass

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Kento wonders how your relationship will be affected now that you’re going back home. You said you’ll keep doing this until you get bored of each other, which he doesn’t mind but he wonders how fast you’ll get bored of him. He’s sure that a week in, you’ll send him a message that you’re bored out of your mind. He isn’t sure as to what will happen to him and his job.

You’re packing your stuff, which isn’t too much since you just got here. Any lost item can easily be replaced by you anyway, so you don’t stress too much. You feel as Kento watches you, as if he doesn’t have his own stuff to pack, so you speak up, “What are you doing, Kento? We have to get going soon. We have no point to be here.”

“I thought this was somewhat of a vacation.” He responds, going back to packing his clothes. You did tell him it was a paid vacation, but in the end you’d have some sort of purpose being in the place. That purpose is now gone.

“It was. But now we have to go back home.” You answer, and he has to hold back a sigh. He was just starting to have fun. He guesses you’ll have your fun once you’re back home again. Until you get bored of each other. In other words, until you’ve had enough of him.

“What happens when you get bored of me?” Kento asks out of nowhere, and you come to a complete stop. You stare at him, slowly blinking, trying to figure out what he means. Until you think you’ve got it, and you chuckle.

“You really think I would fire you after I started an affair with you?” You question, and he has to shrug because he sincerely has no idea. He’s never thought too much about the consequences of having a work-affair with you, until now. Before he only thought of the benefits. “No. I won’t fire you, Kento, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Just making sure…” He mutters, which you hear and in response you roll your eyes.

Once you’re back home, you’re immediately busy at work. All personal things are pushed aside so work can be your priority. Meaning you only start caring for Kento on a work level. Sure, you find him attractive and you still want to have sex with him but you can’t since you find yourself so busy.

Kento doesn’t mind, giving all his attention to his daughter, and as well as work. The relationship you had wasn’t going to last too long, he knew that. He sees that his job isn’t at risk, which is what matters to him the most.

Two weeks after your trip, you’ve had no time alone. But today you walk up to his desk with a smile on your face, and he wonders what’s up. He speaks up, “What’s up, ma’am?”

“Guess who’s free tonight?” You begin, and he opens your work agenda. You quickly shut it for him. “I am. I just want to ask you out on a date since we haven’t gotten to do anything ever since New York.”

“I– I want to go out but I have to get a sitter for my daughter, so I’m not sure if I can…” Kento answers. You pout your lips, although you understand it’s not so easy for him to drop everything. He notices your face and says, “I’ll ask my mom, but she won’t be so happy that I won’t be home to go on a date.”

“If you want I can get you a sitter. So you don’t get in trouble with your mom.” You offer, but he shakes his head. He doesn’t need you to solve his life for him.

“I’ll ask my mom, thank you though.” He replies. You smile at him and begin to walk away but his voice stops you, “What’s a good time? And what are we doing?”

“We’re going out to a restaurant so dress nicely. I’ll be picking you up at eight.” You wink at him before walking to your office. He pays close attention to you, his cheeks turning red. You’re one beautiful woman, and he wonders how he managed to even get you to notice him.

When you’re out of sight, he really thinks about your words. You’ll be picking him up? Where are you two going? When setting up a date, he’s usually the one that does that kind of thing. The place you’d be going, the time, and the time he’d be picking you up. This is certainly… Different. He’s not sure if he likes it though.

He focuses on his work again, deciding that he should focus on your date afterwards. He doesn’t need you to reprimand him while on your date. How ridiculous would that be? 

You pick him up at eight on the dot, which is what Kento expected. You’re very punctual, you don’t only expect it from others, which is something he likes about you. It feels awkward for him to get into your sports car and have you drive him to the restaurant. Awkward small talk fills up the talk while you drive to the place. He isn’t sure what to say, and you don’t know what to say either. You two just want one thing from each other: sex.

The fact that you’re going out to eat is a front. You don’t just want to call it a fling, you want to pretend as if there’s a possible relationship out of all of this. There’s really not. Kento is a gentleman and any woman that ends up with him is truly lucky, but you’re not sure if you can actually gain a relationship from this.

When you got to the restaurant, Kento immediately noticed that this place was way out of his price range. Maybe if he didn’t have a kid, and didn’t have to pay rent and utilities he could afford to pay for dinner here once a year or so. He’s lucky he’s dressed for the place. He awkwardly sits across from you, sipping on his wine.

“So… How’s your daughter?” You ask before you bring up your drink up to your lips. You expected this dinner to be less awkward than it is now, but there’s nothing you can do about it. After two weeks of being strictly his boss, you’re suddenly trying to be– He can’t even put a word on it. 

“She’s good.” Kento doesn’t provide much details. You awkwardly sit in silence for a minute or so before he adds, “She was excited to sleep over at her grandma’s house.”

“That’s nice to hear.” You respond. It wasn’t this awkward in New York, so why is it so awkward now? Maybe it was the air in New York. Maybe you both just realized that the chit chat is stupid and you two just want sex from each other, nothing more. Or maybe you just don’t know what to ask about each other.

“The board meeting is coming up…” He brings up. You might as well talk about work. “Do you feel as if you’re prepared?”

“I am. I’m not really ready to see my parents and all the others though.” You respond. He raises a brow, and before he can really ask, you answer his question, “My parents… More so my father is really pushing me to get married and start a family and whatnot. He wants grandchildren and a future heir.”

“Oh… Yeah…” He replies. He’s making this more awkward than it needs to be. He’s bothered by something, you can tell. But you don’t understand what. The restaurant isn’t too busy, and you’re still somewhat secluded from everyone else so it can’t be the fact people are annoying him.

“Kento… Is there something bothering you? Should we just leave to my penthouse?” You question and he sighs. He begins to sip on the very expensive wine that you ordered. This shouldn’t be like this. It should be the other way around. He should be the one driving you, taking you back home, paying for everything.

“Honey…?” You both hear, and you look up at the person. You shut your eyes and immediately look at Kento, as if the person standing near your table was non-existent. Kento takes a good look at him, and he recognizes the man. Your ex-fiancè. “Who’s this?”

“They allow really obnoxious people here… We should get going soon, Kento.” You comment, and it immediately clicks for the man. Suguru glares at Kento, and it makes Kento extremely uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to be involved in this whole mess.

“Your secretary? Nanami? There’s no way you’ve stooped so low.” Suguru says, and Kento nearly chokes on his drink. He’s shocked, but he shouldn’t be. Of course he’d be seen as low by people around your status. Another con. 

Overthinking this isn’t allowing him to enjoy a magnificent dinner with you, one that could result in a wonderful relationship. He’s feeling too belittled because he doesn’t have the money to afford the luxuries you have.

“I just never expected it from you… I thought you’d go for a man with status.” Suguru continues, causing you to roll your eyes. You can notice that Kento is uncomfortable.

“Leave us alone, Suguru. Go stick it in another waitress.” You dismiss him, yet he doesn’t want to leave. He continues shit-talking about Kento until you stand up, and stare him down. “Leave or I’ll fucking scream. I’ll tell the whole world what the hell you were doing.”

“Do it. I fucking dare you.” Suguru replies. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and begins to look for something. When he shows you, your eyebrows furrow. “I’ll call your dad. I’ll tell him you’re fucking the secretary.

“Call him. He’s fuming because of what you did. He might’ve liked you while we dated, but now he knows who you truly are… And he doesn’t like it one bit. Now leave us alone.” You tell him, and before Suguru can leave, Kento stands up.

“I’m actually not feeling too well…” He acts as if he’s sick. The action of staring at your ex-fiancé did make him sick in a way. It just confirmed that you’re way out of his league. “I can pay for the wine and all but it’s best if I… leave.”

“Oh…” You respond, feeling that if you say anything else you’ll just look pathetic. Especially when Suguru is right in front of you with an irking smirk on his face. Kento just feels unwell… That’s all. “I’ll pay, go wait in the car.”

“Okay…” He replies. Kento walks out of the restaurant while you glare at Suguru. You bite your tongue, holding back a few curses.

“I don’t ever want to see you again, you got that? Next time you fucking come to ruin my night, I’ll make sure to ruin your life.” You try to be as calm as possible, as if you don’t want to break down and cry in the middle of the place. You grab your purse, and get out a couple of bills to pay for the wine and to leave a hefty tip for the waitress. You take one last look at Suguru before saying, “Good evening.”

You walk out of the restaurant, and luckily Kento is waiting outside in the car. You get into the passenger seat, and Kento opens his mouth to speak, “I’m not sure how to drive the car–”

“Figure it out. Drive yourself home.” You respond, since you’re on the verge of tears and the last thing you can do is drive. He begins to drive, and this awkward silence fills up the car. Kento wants to say something regarding your relationship but he isn’t sure how to bring it up.

It begins to bother him so much that he feels as if he has to talk about it now, even though he hears your sniffling. He clears his throat, mustering up the courage to speak. He catches a glimpse of you, and he sees how a tear escapes your eye. He can’t blame you… It’s not like feelings can disappear overnight. 

“I think if our relationship goes back to how it was before New York…” He brings up, and you hum in agreement. You think it’s because of your reaction to Suguru and all that, and while it is part of his decision, it’s not all of it.

“Just drive yourself home and we’ll pretend like this or New York never happened.”

Pretending as if New York never happened was and still is the easiest thing for both you and Kento. You thankfully can go back to that relationship you had as a boss and employee. Nothing, at least for you, doesn’t feel too awkward.

You’re stressed over work so you don’t really have time to think of relationships and whatnot. Two months after your trip, you’re so busy at work that you barely have time to take care of yourself. And you can definitely feel the lack of self-care as your health declines.

Your period is late, which you assume is because you haven’t been feeding yourself properly. Which you tried changing your diet for. This new food makes you nauseous though, so you assume you have to slowly change your diet. Although any other food is making you nauseous as well. When your boobs start to feel tender and you get overly emotional, you think that you’re about to get your period but when a week later you don’t, you end up setting up an appointment with your doctor.

After you dismiss the possibility of you being pregnant, they end up doing some bloodwork and you go on about your day while you wait for the results. Today you’re having lunch with your parents, hearing your father talk about nonsense. You prefer to hear him talk over your mother, though.

“Since you and Suguru are no longer together, maybe I should arrange you on some blind dates.” Your father suggests, making you roll your eyes. You play with your food, not finding it appetizing enough to eat. “You have to get married eventually. You need to produce an heir, and you’re not getting any younger.”

“I don’t want to.” You mutter, but it’s not loud enough for him to hear since he sits on the other side of the long table. Your father is the only one who talks, and it feels as if he’s the only other person there. “I really have to focus on work, dad.”

“I can hire someone else to work. I want you to focus on getting settled down. I’m not getting any younger, y’know?” He says, making you roll your eyes.

You hear the sound of your phone ringing, and you excuse yourself from the table before standing up. You hear your father complain but you ignore it. You pick up the phone and bring it up to your ear before you walk away to the living room of the place. Immediately you’re informed it’s from the hospital, telling you that they have your blood test results.

“What is it?” You immediately ask, wondering if there’s something wrong with you. You close your eyes, anxiously waiting for them to speak. You hope that everything is fine. 

When you hear the results, your eyes widen. You were so sure in the morning that it was something else because there was no way.

“Pregnant? What the fuck do you mean?” You whisper, not wanting your voice to echo in the huge house. You don’t want to share the very sudden news with your parents yet. “Check again, those aren’t mine.”

You’re getting confirmation about something you don’t want, and something so unexpected. Your breathing gets heavy and you hang up the phone after the third time they confirm that those are your results. You slowly blink, trying to figure out if this is a dream or reality. But it’s reality.

“I’m fucking pregnant. There’s no fucking way.”

🏷 @kamikat @snottykitty @r3nii11 @fushiguros-eyelashes @ur-mums-side @uhremmi @thisbicc @mykyoon @lysol1201 @rumi-rants @mimizsworld @hyperfixationsporfavor @levismainbabe @charismaya @blinkingsuns @erenputurchildreninsideme @noticemeakusenpai @attackonsimpp @yeosxxx @kurookinnie @thatbitchsstuff @lilith412426 @ddostoyevskyy @shaquille-oatmeals-world @mangalind @wifeofgeto @puddingbasyi @fragmentedstarlight @4lch3mist @tojianddabisslut @aizensgf @scarlet-kazuha @sugadrops03 @33yaeyaeeee @mikasa019 @justnamuaf @watyousayin @hnysmut @etherealkakashi @shartnart1 @s-witch-bitch @apchmon @namelesslatina @havenater1920 @omytann @bunny-kawa @drugzforyou @czeniess @x-speedy-o @lilithlunas @julian0800

#[her secretary] #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #anime #nanami kento #nanami x y/n #jjk nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #kento x you #kento smut #jjk kento #jujutsu nanami #nanami fanfic #nanami x you #nanami #kento nanami

[eneablack]

im what, two days early for ur weekly motivation? who gives a shit i’m doing this bc it makes me happy and i know it makes u happy (THE ENERGY OF UR POSTS LITERALLT IS SO POSITIVE IT MAKES ME WANNA DO A FLIP)

BUT I LOVE U SM!! YOURE SUCH A COOL UNIVERSE TRAVELLER AND I HOPE I CAN MEET U ONE DAY IN PERSON!!!

i wanna personally invite u to a rlly cool wr i have planned (that i haven’t shifted to yet but i will soon LMFAO) AND LIKE GO THERE WHENEVER BC IT IS RLLT COOL!! it’s called the star and i rlly need to make a blog on it but 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ when i decide to it happens lmfao BUR I LOCE UR BLOG I LOVE UR CONTENT I LOCE UR LITTLE STORIES AND I LOVE U

thank u for keeping me and so many other people motivated to shift, and showing that shifting isn’t always something insane — there are things that ground us and keep us feeling like normal, ig is how i would describe it

what i mean is when u tell us abt ur shifting life u make it seem soooo casual, like going on a walk, and that makes it so much more like — real i guess?? like it makes shifting feel like sunscreen (wow weird analogy)

i rlly hope we can stay in contact in so many realities bc it would b so so so so so sooooo fun and ur personality and energy is js AMAZING!! i truly wish and hope the best for you, and it is clear the universe has its eye on you. there are always so many positive energies and spirits surrounding you, and i can feel it rn.

you are protected more than you think, and you’re going down the right path. “don’t be surprised if everything js starts making sense” is what i just heard, and they won’t elaborate so thanks spirit 😭💀💀

ANYWAYS I LOVE U LEMME STOP RAMBLING AND SAVE SOME SHIT FOR NEXT WEEK‼️‼️

no but like receiving these levels of affection is doing something to me.. just know the feelings are reciprocated, even though i might seem too stiff.

you should definitely tell me more about that wr you’re talking about, no if or no buts, i already said that i love waiting rooms, and if i’m invited too.. hell yeah. so please let’s meet there, alright?

i’m so glad my blog is useful in giving you and other people motivation, and i’m happy it is giving the thought that it feels normal, because it is. i don’t know for how much longer i will post on this account, but i hope it will last long together with the people i know here (i don’t have anyone close but i love my mutuals), because not just for you but it gives motivation to myself as well, to remember that i can do anything. and so can you, of course.

i wasn’t prepared for you saying that the universe has its eye on me and that i’m more protected than i think. it’s truly reassuring because lately i’ve been struggling with paranoia (i won’t talk in deep here because its another topic) and i feel like i’m unconsciously attracting bad energies/entities because of my nonsense fears and anxieties. so thank you so much really, i mean it, i’m actually already feeling better.

anyway, i joke and stuff but i really do appreciate all the kind words you always say to me. i don’t have many friends (and the few i have are only online like you) so it means a lot to me to talk and know someone with this kind of positive energy.

#reality shifting #shifting #shifting realities #desired reality #shifted

[animeyanderelover]

I think up to this day I still haven’t watched an Isekai anime. You wanted a female s/o, right?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, mentions of death, abduction

Modern and stoic s/o who died in her old world

Grell Sutcliff

🟥 Grell expresses her feelings rather openly which makes for a strong contrast between her and her stoic darling. I'd wager that Grell constantly tries to help her s/o getting out of her apathetic shell since she'd love for her love to express her emotions more openly too. Not gonna lie, the reaper is a bit worried about you. You rarely talk about your feelings nor your past and are a very silent person in general so she has a bit of a hard time knowing what you're currently going through. It makes her genuinely upset and she's also concerned, starts wondering if you've gone through something terrible which resulted in your current stoic state. She wants to help you but it's hard if you don't open up to her. Grell is likely to start pestering her darling in hopes that she tells her about her problems.

🟥 Whilst the suspicion is there, Grell won't really suspect how troubled the situation of her darling really is, or was to be precise. So the initial glad feeling that you finally decided to tell her the truth turns into quick dread when she hears what your story is. It sounds crazy but the reaper believes you, believes that you're sincere. She pushes her curiosity regarding the other world away for now, knows that this would be highly insensitive from her side to question you right now. Grell becomes quite a bit overbearing the following days, smothers you in love and affection. She tries to cope with what you just told her and that's the way she goes about it. She understands now why you're mostly very apathetic though, it's your way to handle everything that you've gone through.

Ronald Knox

😃 Ronald is also an individual who expresses his own emotions more openly, though he isn't as exuberant as his red-haired friend. He's a bit more tactful around his darling although her silence is sometimes killing him a bit. He loves his s/o a lot but he also wishes that she'd show her own emotions here and there too instead of always keeping a stoic poker face on. The man suspects the reason for your stolid type to lie somewhere in your past which you only vaguely talk about when he asks you. He's never found out much about your life and no one from the people you used to be around has much of a clue either. You're shrouded in mystery and that's precisely why it's very likely in Ronald's mind that you had some sort of traumatic experience. He's patient though, doesn't want to trigger you.

😃 From all the scenarios he thought would be likely, hearing that you're literally from another world in which you died isn't one. There's a shroud of doubt at first since this story sounds like something out of a book but when he sees the look in your eyes, he just has a feeling in his gut that you aren't lying. Ronald tries to comfort you but is sort of uncertain how to do that. You literally lost everything, including your own world. You can most likely never return since you're already dead in your world too. The grim reaper still tries his best to cheer you up and be there for you. A selfish part of him wants to prove to you that you can still be happy with him in this world even if the rational part of him knows that you're never going to get fully over your loss.

William T. Spears

📒 William himself tends to be more of an impassive person so he wouldn't really mind your own apathetic state that much at first. You don't throw much of a tantrum and just sort of accept the abduction. The reaper is glad about that in a way since it saves him trouble. It becomes more concerning for him when he starts believing that your personality is like this due to an unspoken trauma. Obviously he could just decide to ignore that but William isn't completely heartless. There's also the fact that despite the best abilities of his stalking, he wasn't able to retrieve all the information about you. Apparently you were living on the streets before you were taken in and found a job. You being homeless doesn't fit with your educational knowledge though. Your unknown past has always bothered him a bit.

📒 When he tries to ask you, he sounds quite demanding. He at least realizes that and apologizes to you afterwards. He's basically gone through all scenarios you could have witnessed but he would have never come up with your story. William doesn't even believe you at first since this sounds too ridiculous. You need to somehow prove to him that you're speaking the truth before he starts reconsidering your explanation. He ends up being nicer to you the moment he decides to believe your story. He tries to be more there for you and does more acts of service for you. William also tries to bring you to tell him how you feel since he thinks it's best not letting everything consume you from the inside. He grows more controlling and observing which is his way to show that he's worrid about you.

Undertaker

⚰️ Undertaker tends to find you a bit boring at times due to your phlegmatic attitude but he still adores you a lot. He often finds himself trying to get some sort of emotional reaction out of you by teasing you and annoying you a bit. He just genuinely wishes to see you cracking another facial expression besides the indifferent one. Preferably a happy one since he finds himself worried about your lack of emotional display. So he often attempts to make you laugh somehow, at times even tickling you forcefully so you at least look more happy. Considers the chances of a possible tragic event in your past as very likely but is careful to approach the topic since you could react hostile. Undertaker gives you time to warm up to him, you wouldn't tell your possibly sad past to your strange kidnapper after all.

⚰️ It's possible that he has wondered sometimes whether or not there are other dimensions out there somehow connected to his world despite that he needs a moment to consider if you're telling him the truth or not. You're not the type to lie and come up with such an answer though, not to mention that the pained shimmer in your eyes tells him that you're telling the truth. He embraces his darling at first, if she lets him. He needs some time to think how he can help you right now. He's interested in your world too but prioritizes your own well-being. Undertaker wants his darling happy more than ever now that he has heard what has made you so sheltered in regards of your emotions. It's too sad to see you so silent and stoic despite knowing your pain. He starts doting on his s/o a lot and finds himself having a harder time leaving her alone.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere grell #yandere grell sutcliff #yandere ronald #yandere ronald knox #yandere william #yandere william t. spears #yandere undertaker

[cupidjyu]

hey can you do reader feeling insecure about themselves/feeling down for the day and bf younghoon shows them reasons of appreciation for them? would love if you could since I love all your works, thank you ☺

stay tonight

younghoon x reader (request thank you for this amazing request! i love writing hurt/comfort shh)

genre: hurt/comfort!!, sad reader, caring bf younghoon, cuddles, kisses, shower of praises notes: i would say that this drabble could also be my message to anyone reading this <3 i've always been an insecure person, and i know how it feels. i just want you to know that it's okay and that you are not alone :) you can even talk to me if you would like, i'm always here. and heres a song rec that reminds me of this writing!! i love this kdrama too! word count: 0.7k

the day that younghoon came over to spend time with you, wasn’t a perfect day. the sky was dull, your mind was cloudy, and your heart sunken. but you were with your boyfriend! you needed to act cheerful when around him or else he would be upset with you. or so you thought.

he had noticed for a while that you had been out of it. even with his jokes and goofy mannerisms, you were barely smiling, the light in your eyes dim. he didn’t mention anything, deciding not to push it. instead, he tried to continue to make you smile, just a bit more, with stories and more of his humor. 

but he sighed once again because you had only briefly smiled.

when it came time for him to leave, he was about to walk out of the door when he felt something tug on his sleeve. he looked down. your fingers were holding onto it, tightly, silently pleading that he wouldn’t leave you.

he looked at you with slight worry as he stepped back into your home, closing the door behind him.

“do you want me to stay with you tonight?” he asked softly, slowly bringing you into a hug. you didn’t say a word for a while. instead, you buried your face in his shoulder, letting a few held-in tears slip out.

“if it wouldn’t bother you,” you whispered.

“you’re never a bother, i promise you,” he pulled away, his eyes forming crescents as he smiled gently at you, making your heart clench. he led you all the way to your bedroom, sitting next to you on the edge of the bed.

“do you want to talk about it?” he caressed your hair.

you paused for a moment before nodding slowly. you needed to get some of it off your chest.

“what is it, angel?” he hummed. “you can tell me. it’s all safe with me.”

you took in a shaky, deep breath as you began to explain everything. you talked about how insecure you felt about how you looked whenever you looked in the mirror. then you told him about how you felt like you haven’t been doing enough. you were just overall unsure of everything.

younghoon listened intently. when you finished, you looked him in the eyes. you were slightly surprised to see his eyes which now became soft and gentle on you as he gazed at you with affection.

“i’m sorry i haven’t noticed earlier you were feeling this way,” he frowned.

you shook your head, “it’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

“but still, i could be telling you this earlier…” and then he brought you into another tight hug, pulling your body flush against his, reminding you that you were safe.

“tell me what?’ you mumbled.

“let’s lie down first.”

he opened the blankets, letting you climb in first. then, he followed, lying next to you as he faced you. his finger gently traced the slope of your nose.

“i want to tell you everything i love about you.”

“oh,” you breathed out.

“i care about you so much and i want you to know that. if you’re feeling insecure about how you look, then i will always tell you how stunning you look,” he smiled, watching a flush bloom on your cheeks. “i love the way your eyes look, your lips, your nose, everything,” he pressed a kiss to each of your features. 

“i can go on and on because that’s how i see you in my eyes. and if you’re feeling insecure about what you’ve been doing, then i will always reassure you that everything’s okay. i will help you when you’re struggling and cheer you on in the front-row seat.”

he softly caressed your cheek, “i will help you in every step of the way.”

your eyes were now welling up with tears. specifically happy tears.

“okay?” he confirmed. you didn’t respond, too emotional to say anything. he laughed, poking your cheek. “understand?” he asked once again. this time you nodded. “good,” he gently wiped tears off your cheeks. “don’t cry, i hate to see you cry. though you’re still beautiful this way.”

“stop it,” you couldn’t help but break out into a shy smile.

“oh, but your smile is just so beautiful as well?”

you whined, burying your face in his chest, your heart feeling light again.

“thank you,” you mumbled after a while of just him embracing you silently. when you didn’t hear a “you’re welcome” from him, you pulled away. your eyes widened and you struggled to hold back a giggle.

he had fallen asleep already, his lips parted. you pressed a kiss on his lips, snuggling closer as you fell asleep with him.

#the boyz reactions #the boyz fluff #the boyz imagines #tbz fluff #tbz imagines #the boyz x reader #younghoon fluff #younghoon x reader #requests 💞 #drabbles 💞

[5-7-9]

Lee Bermejo, the writer of We Are Robin (haven’t gone into much research about him but he’s a californian living in Italy) is noticeably not apart of the Robin WAR plot (or at least has the least impact in the series because his name isn’t in the covers but he did write part 4 and the few good bits).

Robin WAR was the end for WAR, and interestingly enough, google says Tom King pulled the story together. But We Are Robin didn’t end there, it actually had a second issue for a few chapters after. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but meta textually the theme seems to actually conflict with Robin WAR’s theme. Here’s a chapter from the beginning of the 2nd issue

The characters are discontent as to why everybody gave up after Duke. Almost as if someone (*nudge nudge*) thought that by appointing one person, one leader, and making them leave, would make everyone go home too (like some kind of hivemind 🐝). But each character clearly has their own motivations, and they’re thinking on their own. It is not over.

Skipping ahead. But first, let’s have a reminder as to what was said in Robin WAR. Robin WAR actually recognized the lack of leadership. In fact, the official Robins even tried mentoring the Robins to fulfill that role.

Then Dick (Tom) tries appointing Duke as the leader, as though he has that authority? Dick seems to believe it’s his responsibility.

And as previously stated, Duke dipped at the end. Repeating what the Robins kept wanting them to do, “We are not Robin.”

Now, let’s hear the final narration in We Are Robin’s second issue that came out after Robin WAR.

What makes a hero, a hero? Well according to Duke in this comic, it’s doing the greater good. But it’s impossible to do that yourself.

This situation tries to answer that question: What to do when someone does the wrong thing for the right reason. Their answer? Maybe it’s never right to do the wrong thing.

But i also think this conversation was the writer’s way of saying how WAR was great as it lasted. How the characters can still exist beyond the title of Robin. But getting to be named Robin felt good and they’ll never forget it, even when they’ve changed.

Robin WAR was wrong. Children are not soldiers, activism is not like a military. We are acting out of our own volition and have a right to do so. We make our own choices, whether for better or worse.

At the end of the day, whatever you do, it’s gonna affect us all.

Emphasis on the word “us.”

#We are robin #Robin war #duke thomas #meta analysis

[jitterbugjive]

So, some people may have noticed this but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to bring attention to it and I wanted people to just assume it was someone theorizing. But it appears someone from my ex friend circle whom I had trusted with certain details of how Discord Whooves would end decided to stoop to a lower than low level and ruin the ending for anyone who stumbled on their posts that had been made on a blog made specifically to post spoilers and tag them with common tags Discord Whooves uses. I’m sure it was out of sheer spite towards me and the people who dared to support my work.

Saying bad things about me and things I’ve done and said, okay that’s justifiable. But going out of their way to take something I once trusted them with because I thought we were close friends, and then throwing it out for the world to see out of revenge against me and anyone following me? That’s just petty, immature, and a really low blow to make. Even if I really hated someone, I would never reveal their harmless secrets to the world just to get back at them. There’s a chance to be the better person, and at least have some code of ethics to know when it’s going too far. I deserved to be called out. I didn’t deserve to have my 12 years of work undermined by a vindictive person who can’t move forward, and my fans didn’t deserve it either because they are not even involved in this drama.

There is a point where revenge goes too far and one crosses over into just being villainously cruel.

It’s sad, and really pathetic that someone thinks they have to do everything in their power to screw me over in some way instead of trying to actually recover and get past the point of obsession over wanting to get back at me all the time.

I’m sorry the whole world isn’t against me like you want it to be. I’m sorry a lot of people believe in recovery and the fact that I feel terrible enough already about my shitty actions in the past and am doing everything in my power to avoid anything like that happening ever again. I���m sorry I’m not being bombarded by hoards of angry people calling me names and telling me to kill myself. I’m sorry my feeling horrible isn’t enough to satiate you and all you want is to see me suffer.

It’s been years now. YEARS. For the sake of your own mental well being, just cut me out of your life completely and stop obsessing over me. You already won. I am constantly in a state of panic thinking of this shit and how else it’s going to come and bite me in the ass. I lost the comic website I depended on, I’ve lost a huge chunk of my readership and no longer really have my ‘popular’ status. (very rarely get fan art, not being bombarded by asks constantly, no longer receive fan mail, original projects aren’t catching on very well) Selling commissions has gotten increasingly more difficult. My insomnia is worse than ever and I have to take heavy duty sedatives just to sleep because my mind won’t stop spiraling about this stuff. I cannot go a single day without feeling guilt, regret, self hatred, and doubt and wishing hopelessly that I just never did those things. I have severe trust issues and have almost no one I can feel comfortable enough sharing anything personal or story related with which was just made even WORSE by these recent actions, and I haven’t been able to form new bonds with anyone in years either.

I know I hurt you badly, I know what I did was incredibly wrong and irresponsible, and I don’t know how it’s affected you over the years but this rage and anger is not good for anyone. I don’t hate you. I just want you to be able to move on and learn to be healthy and happy and no longer stuck thinking about me and how much you hate me and want me to fall. I don’t want to be hurting you by just existing and trying to move on with my own life, and I wish there was something- ANYTHING I could do to bring you peace.

But the only one who can ultimately bring you peace is yourself. So you can keep on trying to claw and bite and drag me down with you, or you could be the better person and try to just move forward and put the past in the past where it belongs.

I’m not mad. I’m just incredibly disappointed. I would have thought you were better than this, but I was wrong. I was wrong to ever even trust you as a friend, and I wish we were never friends to begin with, or even ever met, and I’m sure you feel the same way.

#vent #drama

[dweamofsweep]

Final few drawings from this sketchbook now that I’m recycling it! Kind of sad because this particular notebook was one I used as a little kid, it has some suuuper old and embarrassingly bad (but funny) drawings in it.

Also just going to put this here; I know something kind of blew up here over the weekend in this corner of Tumblr. Dr. Tezuka has been dead for several decades now, so we will never know exactly what “ending” he thought about for Tenma and Astro further than how they got separated and never really permanently reunited throughout his numerous re-writes and loose canon tendencies. That’s up to us to parse and make meaning of and potentially imagine beyond for ourselves as audience members of the series, which many fans have done over the years (And even any other official work done after Tezuka’s passing, like AB2003 and ATB, Pluto etc are basically the same thing). I believe we are allowed to disagree with the evaluations of media that others come up with, whether just in our heads or posted publicly! However, it is not our job to budge every last person’s opinion on the internet. We may “see” each other on a somewhat regular basis because, let’s face it, this fandom is pretty small, but at the end of the day none of us know everything that informs the meaning being made by the others — and we are not obligated to disclose such personal information for any reason, in real life or online. To give you an example and offer up something about myself, Astro as a character resonates with me in large part because he stands on the border between one group and another; although he is certainly a robot, he lives his life as a human would most of the time, creating a split between himself and other robots while still not being accepted fully into human society. It gives him a unique opportunity to bridge the two together, but as a result he can never be entirely one or the other. The reason why I find that fascinating is because I am a second-gen immigrant Asian-American, and it forms some parallels with the way I feel in my own life, having been raised more American than Asian. Also, my parents are culturally Chinese-Indonesian, but ethnically appear Chinese (as do I). I will never be fully accepted into native Chinese, Indonesian, or Chinese-Indonesian communities because I act too much like an “American” despite my appearance. I will also never be fully accepted into the American community I live in because I still cling onto some of my heritage, and of course also because of my appearance. But maybe due to my experience in both worlds, the chances have increased that I could foster greater empathy, interest, or understanding between them, and Astro gives me hope for that.

However— I wouldn’t expect anyone here to know that (or even remember after reading it — it’s fine, you can purge the info from your brain LOL) even if it does affect my readings of certain scenarios and stories. If someone were to post something that doesn’t acknowledge or reflect the perspective I have, I can feel any type of way about it, but I have to remind myself I don’t know where they’re coming from and to try not to take it too personally, since they don’t know where I’m coming from either. Maybe someone has had the exact opposite experience from me, maybe they just haven’t been in any comparable situation to begin with, they could also be a lot younger or older, or from another part of the world — on the internet you really just don’t know, and a person doesn’t really have to tell you if they don’t want to. Personally, once I’ve said my piece, I’ve said it. If someone disagrees with me over the same point repeatedly, and I considered their viewpoint but decided to retain mine, I don’t continue to engage them, because I know it gets unproductive sooner or later (neither side changes their mind or learns anything new, if anything we both just become more stubborn about our own arguments because we have to keep making the same one over and over). I do think about Tezuka’s and other artists’ work very seriously, as an artist myself and an aspiring professional, and I believe that’s a valid angle to come from. Yet I often just draw things on a whim despite the aforementioned, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, most of my drawings have very little meaning. I just post on here hoping it might make someone else a bit happier to see it; I suspect that many others in the community do the same. (Obviously if I misrepresent something severely in my own work, which I hope I will not but you never know, I want someone to tell me about it, but I didn’t think this was the case in the particular situation happening now.)

and… I will freely admit to sharing outlandish internet takes both as a kid and as an adult, then changing my mind and looking back on it, as well as my behavior in general, later with regret 😭 it will happen again, I’m sure… perhaps this is one and I should have kept my mouth shut, but I hope this at least gave some of my perspective. If you want to probe any further into my thoughts or ask for clarification you can!

#Astro boy oh boy

[sitp-recs]

Unseen by @jackvbriefs

Harry/Draco (2020, Teen and Up, 47k)

Harry Potter finally has the chance to leave England and its expectations for The Chosen One behind for good. All he has to do is survive one Auror training conference overseas with Draco Sodding Malfoy.

The best part of working overseas was how little he ever thought of England. Yet sometimes Malfoy's attitude would strike him while he was away. It had lingered, the quiet of him. The denial of any credit. It seemed so unlike the boy that would make badges for the school and risk a Quidditch pitch for attention. Though it did seem somewhat like the one that hadn’t identified Harry at the Manor.

Happy Monday with another rec! I haven’t been this productive in forever but the reread streak is really inspiring me. This was one of my very first Sudsfest reads, and the first time I came across Jack’s writing; it was the easiest thing to explore their other works (highly recommend!) after such a banger. This fic delivered all the things I’m looking for in stories set outside the UK: not only it’s immersive and comforting with gorgeous Bay Area aesthetics but also quite introspective, with a lovely quiet atmosphere that tugged at my heartstrings. I’m surprised that a 50k Auror romance featuring down & out Draco is so underrated, but hopefully this rec will put it on more people’s radar!

I mentioned the contemplative vibe and that was the first element that impressed me here. Jack sets the tone early on in the narrative by presenting a fascinating version of Harry and Draco: both deeply affected by the war, both trying to move on and making peculiar choices while going about it. Harry desperately wants to forget; Draco can’t. I was particularly intrigued by their emotional restraint, as I’ve seen it with down & out Draco before, but to my surprise here’s an equally stuck Harry, keeping anything remotely complicated or stressful away with the L I S T (what a concept!) and torn apart by his two personas, happy and free Harry when living overseas and miserable Harry when he’s back home. I was absolutely captivated by his inner conflict and intentional blind eye to all wrong doings going around him. And the way that spills over his interactions, even with Ron and Hermione, was very interesting and cleverly executed. By the way, the Golden Trio dynamics are absolutely PERFECT - I was hit so hard by their spot-on voices (Ron my beloved!) in the opening scene it gave me a lump in the throat.

Harry’s carefully controlled world is completely changed when Draco comes along with his silent and self-deprecating yet smart and fierce personality. I love how this fic explores his scholar/investigative side and my heart ached watching them slowly open up to each other, Draco’s resolute attitude challenging Harry to leave his fragile comfort zone. The growing UST feels organic and intense all at once, perfectly quiet and tentative but it still made me shake in anticipation. I haven’t read a long T-rated fic in a while and after so much (delicious) dancing around each other I was begging for that first kiss 🥲👌🏼 the slow burn would probably hit me differently without the alluring San Francisco setting, its gorgeous landscapes and endless possibilities. I’ve been there a few times and could easily picture them sightseeing together or staying up and exploring the city’s nightlife.

If you’re looking for something gentle, mature and intimate, I can’t rec this enough. It’s light and heavy at once, but in a soothing and cathartic way. The soft romance and Harry’s arc are developed with a slight melancholy and unhurried pacing that made my heart ache, and I loved the political side plot at the Ministry too. And let’s not forget the gorgeous and intimate suds scene right at the end omg, so hot and intimate I was salivating. Go forth and treat yourself!

Read on AO3

#drarry fic rec