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#I know they probably don’t really matter in terms of lore and are just there to vibe and play funky tunes

cno-inbminor · 1 year

Text

repertum (pt. 2 - final)

summary: no matter how much you want alhaitham, you don’t think you can ever have him. he may or may not try to prove otherwise. // cameos from lumine and nahida // wc: ~15.1k

a/n: well, here it is! many, many thanks to @allsaiint for being my beta once again, especially for this monster. i love her to the ends of this universe. fair warning though, the smut at the end is un-beta’d so you’ll probably come across many grammatical/syntax errors. sorry, in advance.

cw: afab!reader, fem!reader, more angst (but with comfort), 3.4 spoilers, probably some incorrect game lore and timing/mechanics, smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

smut tags: derogatory/degrading terms (slut, cocksleeve, cumslut, cockslut), referring to alhaitham as ‘sir’, size kink, twinges of dacryphilia, one (1) pussy slap, some overstimulation, light bondage (reader’s wrists get tied together), blowjob, cunnilingus, hints of reader entering subspace (dom!alhaitham, sub!reader), will add more if i remember later but i think those are the highlights lol

please read part 1 for context! | AO3 Link for better viewing if the app is being a bitch

As agreed upon you meet Lumine and Paimon on the walkway leading up to the Sanctuary. The traveling duo go inside first, as you’re sure they have much more private and serious matters to discuss. While you wait outside, you gaze over the ledge at the breathtaking view of Sumeru in the direction of the Lokapala Jungle, and its waterfalls still bright even in the darkness of dawn. Taking in everything around you— the breeze and the stars— you feel some peace in your heart knowing you have a place to call home and return to.

The doors swing open with Lumine looking a little less happy than earlier. Paimon mutters – or at least attempts to – under her breath, while a man with a wide-brimmed hat trails out after them. The traveler provides no explanation,and instead informs you that Lord Kusanali wishes to speak with you for a minute. Perhaps the time together will let you know more about this mysterious man – child? – and why he seems to have put Paimon in such a bad mood.

“Y/N,” the Dendro Archon greets you warmly. Her voice is gentle as ever and full of compassion. “Thank you for coming here. I simply wanted to see if you had everything you needed for your travels and research.”

You show her your bag with thinly-veiled enthusiasm. “Thank you for the opportunity and your consideration of my proposal. The fact that you took the time to read through it and ask me about it really means a lot to me. It was luck that the traveler happened to be heading in that direction as well.”

“She will be a good companion. Please watch over her whenever you can.”

“Of course, though I imagine she’s going to watch over me more than her,” you jest and Lord Kusanali shares your amusement. “Is there anything else you needed?”

“No. May you have safe travels, and please visit whenever you return. I look forward to your findings.”

You bow with as much reverence as possible before waving goodbye to the Archon and heading out the doors. The man from earlier is nowhere to be seen, and Lumine appears more relaxed.

“Everything all good?”

“Yes! Should we head out then?”

“Very well.”

Those with Visions have always fascinated you with the way they could make their weapons appear and disappear, and materialize things in midair. Lumine does so with what appears to be a map of Teyvat, humming to herself as she pinpoints a location. She waves it away with dainty fingers and holds out her hand.

Though confused, you trust she means no ill will and Lumine grips your hand tight when you take hers.

“Teleportation is always a little rough for first timers. Just hold on and you’ll be okay.”

“Teleporta–”

You disappear in a flash of blue light. For a split, disorienting second, you see nothing, and in the next you’re greeted with a view of what appears to be part of the Mawtiyima Forest, if the luminescent treetops are any indication. Slight nausea overcomes you and your stomach does a small turn – shit, she wasn’t lying.

“Are you alright?” Lumine asks with concern, searching through her pack for a remedy..

“Do you want a cold towel?” Paimon adds on and flutters around you to search for any signs of injury.

“I think I just need to breathe for a second,” you say, collapsing against the cliffside. “And sit for a minute.”

“Take your time. We’re quite close to the border. I would’ve taken us straight into Fontaine, but since I’ve never been before, none of those teleport waypoints have been activated.”

You point towards one in front of you. “You mean these?”

“Convenient, right?”

“...very.”

Distraught, perhaps, is one way to describe Alhaitham’s current state of mind.

By all means, it makes no sense. Did he get to know you well in an alarmingly short amount of time? Sure. Did he really look forward to those initial 36 hours passing, to the point where he felt time was crawling by at a turtle’s pace? Perhaps. Was he trying to satiate a curiosity that he had never really felt before and attempting to answer a personal unknown? In some way.

The attempting-to-resign Acting Grand Sage has read his fair share of historical texts – especially conflicts driven by love and lust. A force so powerful that it could twist the minds of even the brightest and most logical – what was that like? From a young age, he was only ever introspective in an academic sense, and the scholars touted him to be a genius. But feelings, emotions, felt abstract and out of reach as he grew up. He only ever understood his lust as a byproduct of his development as explained in the textbooks. A branch of psychology mixed with biology described everything from why humans feel attraction and the need to copulate to what is deemed healthy and alluring in a potential partner, all in the name of posterity and evolution.

Alhaitham first concluded his initial draw towards you could be explained away by all of these findings.It didn’t quite fit all the checkboxes, but enough for him to deem it understandable and valid. Those checkboxes had been visited once before when he lost his virginity, but that was all there was to it. He wouldn’t be blind enough to deny that it was a pleasurable experience, but there were other, more pressing matters at hand. Yet, even after drawing his conclusion, nothing academic could help explain why his desire to be near you was so strong. The more carnal desires took a backseat to his need to pick your brain, to make you laugh, or to have you challenge him. He learned as many of your little mannerisms as possible, all the while pretending he was completely unfazed by your presence. Your different smiles, your nervous movements, your stressed looks, your interests and dislikes – he wanted to know all of them, and not so he could store it in his brain for cautionary purposes. It was all for the sake of getting to know you.

And then he became greedy.

Another sin Alhaitham didn’t quite understand before meeting you was the growing, bubbling pit of a constant want want want for you to be by his side. To have the fantasies of coveting your soul, retching on the inside at the mere thought of others seeing you the way he did you – he was starting to see why individuals were so often thrown into a fit of rage over their loved ones and why the law has separate stipulations regarding “crimes of passion.”

And even as he sits at his usual table in his usual seat (especially on days when he really doesn’t want to be in his office during work hours), sending glares to anyone who dared to approach him or even come near your seat (which was very much not your seat by any legal means), he finds himself buried in books of philosophy. Not that they are so far out of his usual reading, for they typically align with his understanding that there are universal questions that will never be answered yet should be stated, but he has never felt the need to dive deeper than the tip of the iceberg on different schools of thought. One line in particular catches his attention, however.

“Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions.”**

Moral philosophy, the area where this statement hails from, was intriguing, yet Alhaitham knew the respected experts could talk in circles for days and do their best to argue their reasoning. This particular philosopher suggests that passion is the cause for reason, for understanding why humans do the things they do. And as the word connotation suggests, there is no room to discuss whether or not this line of thought is rational. Just as passion drives reason, reason can also serve as the breeding ground for the passions.

Abstruse to several, esoteric to many, ambiguous to the masses – Alhaitham wonders if he’s found some sort of solution to his internal dilemmas. To have it all summed up in a single sentence resonates deeply with him. Simple and succinct, yet speaking volumes to the implications; finally with a deep breath.

The next day in his office, he leans and falls back into his seat, gaze focused on the domed ceiling above. He’s always hated this chair; far too grand and impractically large. One thing he doesn’t mind is the proportionate size of the desk, as he’s learned over the years that if you give him the space, he will inadvertently cover every inch of it with his materials. Even with their dwindling number of research applications, he manages to fill the voids with his own research, books laid open and aged parchment collecting dust. For being so far above the ground level of the House of Daena, it makes sense that silence is usually his sole companion, as he tends to ignore the other researchers and matra milling around. But there must have been some memo sent out because no one is there today, and no one has come up in hours.

Surprisingly, he finds the quietude and quiescence unnerving rather than welcoming, so much so he removes his treasured earpieces and places them in his lap. The white noise he’s often found bothersome is… comforting?

A distraction, perhaps, from the absence of you.

A long, heavy sigh leaves his chest as he pulls himself up and ambles over to a locked filing cabinet with all the approved research project applications. Before he became Acting Grand Sage, the remaining applications had been split between him, Lord Kusanali, and a few other individuals. First sorted by subject area and then by last name, he rifles through with an absent mind until he catches your name on a tabbed folder. Alhaitham wastes no time plucking it from the confines of the drawer and opening it, taking care to make sure the stacks of reports and research diagrams don’t spill out onto the floor. Kaveh would have a field day if he knew just how enraptured he was by the mere sight of your handwriting. He may even take him to Lord Kusanali herself for psychological treatment or interrogation because there was no way this Alhaitham was his same sarcastic, scathing, infuriating roommate – and despite the slight amusement the thought gives him, he cannot ignore the painful pull in his chest.

It’s been five weeks since you were last seen in Sumeru, and five weeks since he had knocked on your apartment door only to be greeted by your next-door neighbor, who announced you’d left early in the morning with no definitive time of return and no mention of your destination. You would be back eventually, but would it be in six days or six months? Nobody seemed to be the wiser.

He had had half a mind to reach out to Cyno and call in a special favor to track you down for his own internal peace, but he knew the request would be irrational and unnecessary. So once a week, he stops by your apartment to see if you’ve returned, and with each unsuccessful visit and your doormat collecting more and more dust, his heart sinks just a little bit lower. If he wasn’t in his current position, he’d be halfway across the desert by now (and ultimately in the complete opposite direction) under the guise of searching for ancient ruins. Merely searching for facts and truth; nothing more, nothing less.

All to say, Alhaitham wishes he had looked through this filing drawer earlier because the file on his desk contained all the answers to his questions of your whereabouts.

The relief of knowing you were safe in a nearby nation surges through every vein in his body, tension in his muscles disappearing with the rays of sunlight beating down from the stained-glass window above. He would’ve been much more concerned if you’d gone to Inazuma – even if this Captain Beidou that Lumine spoke highly of was more than adept at crossing the treacherous seas from Liyue, the mere possibility of you falling overboard or being forced to stay in the nation was still unsettling, to say the least.

Leaning his weight onto the desk, Alhaitham drinks in everything your research has to offer. There are a few mistakes and edits that could be rectified here and there, but nevertheless, it is well done. He remembers now seeing some of these papers before, as notes you had been scribbling down on some early afternoons in the cafe. Pleased isn’t enough to describe the hum in his chest when he notices some of his suggestions incorporated into your application, fondly recalling the moments when you had picked each other’s brain regarding the topic at hand. Never once did you mention that any of this had been in preparation for your big research journey, but he would be remiss not to believe recent events had served as the catalyst for your sudden departure.

“Do come back to me,” he murmurs to no one. As he lifts his head, the cosmical, automated orb— reminiscent of an Auspicious Branch— just above the elevator platform seems to mock him. It’s An inaccurate teller of time as it spins and spins in its orbit, and Alhaitham yearns for the day you return home.--

The day you return to him.

Traveling with Lumine is fascinating, to say the least.

Ignoring the fact that feeding Paimon is like feeding three grown adults, watching the Traveler gather and store every fruit and herb and loot in sight makes you wonder what kind of life she had led before all of this. The way she takes down some wayward Treasure Hoarders is a sight to see, like a well-rehearsed dance. It lends to your understanding of why the term is “martial arts” because the way Lumine maneuvers around the enemies and her sword is, very much so, an art.

But more time together means more time into probing the real reason you’ve decided to come to Fontaine with her, and for whatever reason, she is really good at getting you to spill the beans. Lumine’s heard most of your life story at this point.

“Who are you running from?” she asks one night. After checking in with the Adventurer’s Guild in Fontaine’s capital, you’ve joined Lumine in her journey around the nation to activate the rest of the teleport waypoints. You send her your sheepest look, begging with your eyes for her to not ask anymore. But you’ve skirted around this topic the last few weeks and you figure it’s time for her to know.

With a heavy breath, you set down your bowl of biryani on the grass. “Promise you won’t judge?”

“Promise.”

“...it’s Alhaitham.” The crackling of the little campfire Lumine had put together is deafening, even louder than the ripples and waves of the river crashing onto the sand in front of them.

Naturally, Paimon speaks up first, though speaking is an understatement. “Alhaitham?! You mean that– that super mean Acting Grand Sage? The know-it-all? Can’t really care less about others? Condescending?”

“That’s a pretty big word there, Paimon–” Lumine cuts in.

“Hey!”

“See?” you respond, the smile on your face small, awkward, and bittersweet. “Things happened and well… I thought it’d be better if we stopped seeing each other.”

“You were seeing each other?!!”

“Paimon, stop!” Lumine interjects and shoots the floating fairy a disapproving glare.

You really wish you had some alcohol with you right now.

“Well…”

For the next several minutes, you provide a detailed summary of how you came to meet and learn more about Alhaitham, the nature of the budding relationship, how all your insecurities came to a head on that night, and how you ended up here. Lumine remains silent when you finish explaining everything, clearly thinking through all the information and trying to find the right words to say.

“You know,” she begins, “Alhaitham may be one of the most infuriatingly logical men that I’ve ever met. And a really good actor, too. Remind me to tell you the details of what he did when we rescued Nahida.”

“...I don’t think that makes me feel any better.”

“I’m just saying, but I also think you know by now that Alhaitham isn’t someone who does anything that isn’t for his own benefit, in some way.”

“Again, not helping.”

“What I’m trying to say is if he just wanted to get his dick wet, I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would agree to help out in much less time.”

To which, Lumine has a point. A very good point. But still you say, “He’s super picky though, I don’t think he’d just sleep with anyone regardless.”

“Which brings me to my original point: he picked you for a reason.”

“Because I’m easy?”

Lumine flicks your forehead before you can even blink, and with a decent amount of force as well. Your resulting indignant yelp pierces the atmosphere as you rub the sore spot. “What was that for?!”

“For being unreasonable. I’m trying to say that you must be special to him, that’s all.”

“... but what if he didn’t want to see me again after sleeping together? Sure, let’s say that I am ‘special’, heavy emphasis on my air quotes right now, but I want more, an actual relationship. How do I know that’s also what his end goal is?”

“You don’t,” Lumine affirms. “But there’s no use in wading through the what-ifs. You know what you want, and I think you’re allowed to communicate that to him, regardless of what he says.”

It’s hard to come to terms with the underlying implication that you’re being something of a coward, with not a whole lot of reason to be. You’re grateful for the open water before you, its lullaby comforting with the breeze it brings. Years of academic research have made you painfully familiar with the concept of trial and error, but to apply it to human relationships? It leaves much to be undesired. Five weeks, in the grand scheme of things, are certainly nothing more than a miniscule blip of time. But in your limited life with the overhanging unknowns of the world, it was a sizable enough amount of time filled with passive rumination and downward spirals.

“You’ll figure it out when you get there. But I’m warning you, we’ve still got a lot of ground to cover.”

You can’t help but laugh in relief. “That is completely okay, I promise you.”

Running away might as well be your newly developed skill at this point.

A few weeks later

“I mean, I could stay with you there in Fontaine, right? You know, extra set of hands and all?”

“You’re not getting out of this.”

“Lumiiinneee,” you whine, petulant pout making itself known.

“Just talk to him – whatever happens, happens. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be. But you owe it to yourself to say your piece, as well as to him for an explanation that he needs to hear. Now go.”

She all but (gently) shoves you into the Akademiya, watching over you with an encouraging wave of her hand. When you’re less than five steps away from the door into the House of Daena, you look over your shoulder once more for any signs of escape. As expected, the Lumine-shaped obstacle stands firm in her spot.

You clutch your final report to your chest, mind racing with a thousand thoughts per second, and don’t even realize you’ve already made it to the elevator platform. And once it gives a mechanical shudder and starts to go up, you want to scream and simultaneously steal a glider to jump off and land safely back on the ground level.

Is it good or bad luck that no one seems to be around? Maybe he won’t be at his desk and you can just leave the report there and fucking bolt. Maybe it’s not even Alhaitham in the Grand Sage’s chair. Maybe the man is gone altogether and is somewhere in the desert looking at ancient runes.

Maybe he just doesn’t care anymore and has forgotten about you. Maybe he told himself to let bygones be bygones, and that you were simply another scholar in the Akademiya. No one special.

Your initial hopes of his coincidental absence are dashed as you walk up the stairs. His silver hair stands out among the sea of azure and viridian, and he doesn’t even bother to look up from the stack of papers in his hand. Not that you were a bull in a china shop by any means, but the man would even notice with his eyes closed if there was a fly on the complete opposite side of the office. Your heart is ready to burst from your chest with each shaky step, and too soon, you stand in front of his sprawling desk.

“My office hours will be ending in a few minutes,” he states in a matter-of-fact tone without looking at you. You risk a sharp inhale at the sound of his voice, an all too familiar mix of gentility and sternness. “If it’s something that requires more than that length of time, come back tomorrow.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck – “I’m just, um, turning in a research report?”

At the sound of your voice, Alhaitham doesn’t even bother to amuse himself. He’d much rather not look and not be disappointed, than to do so and become reacquainted with dashed hopes. “...And the necessary cover sheet is on top? Does it have your name, project number, and corresponding title?”

“Y-Yes.”

Still perusing through the paperwork in his hands, he frees one hand to point it at a basket on his far-right corner. “Leave it there. Your advisors and I will be reviewing it within the next two weeks.”

“Oh, o-okay.”

You do as instructed, but with each second that passes without any eye contact or direct acknowledgement of your presence, you begin to wonder if he’s purposely ignoring you. Or maybe he forgot about you entirely and wrote you off as a failed pursuit. Perhaps that would be the best-case scenario and you could hole up in your apartment for the rest of… eternity. Maybe. Lumine can come and scold you later and you can take it like a champ.

But your heart, ever so fickle and occasionally diabolical, plays one last card and causes you to stop at the top of the stairs. “Have a good night,” you muster out. “Thank you, Alhaitham.”

The rustling of his papers ceases as you turn and hurry down the steps, taking extra care to not trip over your feet. Just before you can activate the elevator, a frazzled “Y/N?” is called from above. With sweaty hands, a sullen heart, and a leadened brain, you nervously orient towards the scholar inhabiting your dreams, who stands on the edge of the platform above and peers down to confirm his suspicion. His stance looks as if he had leapt over his desk and sprinted at top speed towards you.

You’re not sure how to take it all in, how to take him in – the “feeble scholar”, for once, appears as such. If possible, his cheeks seem a little more sunken in, further accentuating the sharp edges of his jawline. His hair looks mussed, as if he’d run his hands through it several times too many. The cloak around his shoulders rests askew from his sudden movements.

But his eyes—

Those seafoam irises and amber pupils pierce through your soul, but not in an inquisitive and calculating manner. In fact, it’s quite the opposite – he looks unsure, disbelieving, and hesitant. To elicit such a reaction from this man should be recorded in the most prominent historical annals, but you do have to admit it’s a bad look on him.

When you open your mouth to say something, anything, the elevator begins its descent. Any words you had are wiped from your mind, and you do everything you can to maintain this staredown. Weeks ago, you couldn’t even begin to guess what this man would be feeling based on his eyes, but now? His heart is on his sleeve, and you can’t help the green envy in your veins at the possibility that others have seen him in such a vulnerable state.The constant battle between an illusional desire to be his everything and knowing that you never could and never should be, rages on.

You’re the first to look away. Sorry, Lumine, you think, as Alhaitham’s figure disappears from view. All you’re left with is the rotating orb above, spinning and spinning until it makes you sick to your stomach. You just want to get back to your apartment and start sweeping the dirt away, to return to some sense of normalcy before all of… this appeared. You never should’ve indulged in your whimsical desires.

Alhaitham hovers in a state of shock as he watches the elevator take you back down – after weeks of catching a glimpse of who he thinks is you at the cafe, hearing your voice in his head as he scribbles away on paperwork, or dreaming of escaping his duties to find you in Fontaine, he’s not sure if he really believes you were here or if it was some effective lucid dreaming. But the sudden pull, the impulsive need to just check the cover sheet when his name left your lips, was far too strong and he had dived right in without a second thought.

And there in your handwriting, in all its glory, was your name printed neatly at the bottom. One second, he was at his desk and the next, he was at the edge of the outer office ring for confirmation.

The last few minutes of his workday have never gone slower as he paces back and forth in front of his desk. He’s doing his best to stay calm and formulate a plan, but even that has become difficult for him. There are too many extraneous factors at play, several he can’t be sure of – did you meet someone new in Fontaine? Were you going to leave again?

Did you even want to see him?

You could’ve left without another word once your research paper landed in that return basket. He would’ve been none the wiser until he physically picked up the report, which probably wouldn’t have happened for another few days, what with all the cleaning up he’s trying to do before his resignation is official. All that lost time in between would have left him even more distraught.

But the fact that you had stopped and made a point to thank him, to call him out by name, means something. Like him, it seems you are just as unsure of where the two of you stand.

And that’s all he needs to move forward.

Granted, moving forward didn’t initially involve climbing up the fire escape ladder behind your apartment building.

With a takeout bag of your favorite foods from Lambad’s Tavern, he was originally going to knock on your front door like any other individual. But before his knuckles could rap against the Adhigama wood, he thought, why not check to see if you’re even home? That would eliminate the possibility of you seeing him through the peephole and then pretending you’re not home – or worse, you opening it and then slamming it back in his face.

His unparalleled logic led him to skip the ladder and jump onto the first floor. It’s not that he wouldn’t be able to climb it with one free hand – the food would’ve gotten messy with all the jostling around. He ignores the sound of laughing children as he ambles past, but allows the semblance of a grin to dawn his face when he hears, “Whoa, look at that mister!” Alhaitham looks above him as he climbs the next set of stairs, noticing a light peeking through the living room window. That’s one good sign, at least, because it means you’re home, right? He peers past the half-open curtains when he arrives at your floor. He’s just checking. Nothing suspicious or untoward. Yet all of that is scrapped— another deviation from his initial plan— when he sees you sitting on your couch, sorting through a pile of mail on your coffee table. With a mind of their own, his knuckles knock lightly against the glass and he can’t help but let a humorous snort slip out when your body jerked with a visceral startle, head whipping towards the source of your adrenaline spike.

You don’t need to verbally question his sudden appearance when it’s written all over your face. Your eyebrows are knitted and arched, mouth turned down in a slight frown, hands clenched in fists with visible tension and unease. “Alhaitham, what– I mean–”

He holds up the food behind the windowpane for you to see. “I wanted to bring you dinner since you probably don’t have anything prepared on your first night back.”

Without another word, you slide open the window, letting him clamber through as you take the bag from him. He retrieves it as you lock the window and yank the curtains together, setting it on the table away from a mound of what he presumes to be junk mail. You scramble for words and coherency as you search for clean plates and utensils, but the effort is fruitless. There’s a trapped shriek in your chest and you don’t know how to snuff it out.

Dinner is a quiet affair, save for some awkward small talk here and there. He makes it a point to give you extras, whether it be a little more mint cilantro or tamarind chutney for the samosas (despite it being his favorite) or more of the lamb from the biryani. Each little morsel pushes your heart further up your throat, further sending you into a downward spiral. Why is he so kind and caring when you had essentially kicked him out last time? Why is he going out of his way to make up for a wrong he never committed?

Alhaitham basks in your company, taking in every detail of your outward appearance. You seem skinnier than before, hair just a little bit longer. A few fresh, healing cuts on your hand stand out to him and he hopes they were all accidental and not intentionally created by another human being. There’s so much he wants to say and question, but for once he cannot find the right words. Rarely has he ever felt as though he was skating on paper-thin ice with someone – years of not caring or sparing thoughts for how others might perceive him lends nothing to resolve his state of incertitude. So the only way he can currently try to communicate is through actions, hence the extra foods and your favorite parts of them, making sure you have a usable napkin at all times, refilling your cup of water when it starts to look low, and more.

With a full belly, you sigh with satisfaction, a breath that appeases Alhaitham just the slightest bit. “That was good. Thank you for bringing it.”

“You’re welcome. Was the food in Fontaine not to your taste?”

You hum in thought. “A bit bland, honestly. Not as many spices are used in their foods like they are here.”

“Ah.”

The two of you sit silently for a few moments. You’re looking anywhere and at anything but him, your knee bouncing and hands wringing together. Is he trying to let you down easy? Soften the blow? What is his end goal?

His fingers tap the table in a silent rhythm, noticing that despite the small talk, the tension in the air is still viscous. He ignores the gnawing desire to hold your hand and squeeze it tight, to graze his thumb over those scabs and kiss them. He’s not ready to leave yet, which is why he juts his chin towards the only unopened bag on the table and says, “I also brought dessert. Would you care to have some now?”

No. Yes. I don’t know. I can think of something else I want for dessert but that’s not the point right now, is what runs through your head.

“Sure. What is it? I might have something to go with it.”

“It’s baklava.”

For him to remember that baklava from Pupusa Cafe is your preferred dessert when eating your favorite dishes is even more mind-boggling in this whole situation.

You stand on shaky legs and walk towards the pantry. “Does wine sound okay?”

Alhaitham ponders your last mutual experience with alcohol, which had ended in a disaster, even if he knew full well that it wasn’t a cause by any means; an unintended catalyst. As long as neither overindulged, it would be harmless. Right?

So he nods. “That sounds good.”

You return with a corkscrew opener, two stemless wine glasses, and one of your better bottles of aged wine. Alhaitham remains silent as he takes the opener from you and drives it into the cork, hand twisting the top knob with ease. You feel shameless in the way you stare at his arms, watching his muscles flex. The veins in his hand become more visible and you can see the tension in his forearm through his arm guards, all the more when he pushes the levers closed and wiggles the cork out of its confines. He takes good care to tactfully remove the cork and place it on the table, and pours a glass for you first.

“Thank you,” you murmur as you take it from him with both hands, ignoring the way his fingers seem to linger after making contact with yours. You portion out the baklava as he pours a glass for himself and he voices his gratitude in turn.

As you nibble on the delicacy, the silence weighs heavily on your chest, both a burden and a source of comfort. “Did you find everything you needed in Fontaine for your research?” he asks, once again attempting to make some neutral conversation. Alhaitham has never been one for sweets, but he’s willing to eat it for and with you. The cafe’s baklava is one of few desserts he can handle, as it’s not as sickeningly sweet as some other places’ when they’ve added too much syrup.

You chew slowly as you think of your answer. “I think so. I feel pretty good about my report.”

“I’ll be sure to read it soon,” he responds. After all, he is a pretty quick reader, and with the dwindling number of research project applications, he can efficiently get through the other reports to make sure he reviews yours before he goes back to being the Scribe.

“You know, there’s no need to rush on my account,” you say. Honestly, that’s the last thing you need because it would confirm your worst fears and assumptions. Everything discussed with Lumine would’ve been tossed violently out the window, and you so badly don’t want it to manifest.

“...I won’t,” he assures you. Alhaitham understands your research paper needs to be treated like every other one passing through the Akademiya, especially if he is going to be one of the formal reviewers.

You feel your lungs losing air, your heart rate soaring through the roof. With a stroke of luck, your glasses of wine are finished off and the plates hold nothing but crumbs, which provides a perfect excuse for you to get up and get away.

“I’m gonna wash the dishes,” you announce, voice doing little to hide how nervous and shaky you’re feeling. It’s another miracle that you don’t drop anything on the trek from the dining table to the sink as you wonder if you’ve killed any chance of being with Alhaitham. Where was the confidence you possessed when you first met the man?

Even being mere meters away from him becomes painful. His presence alone provides a sense of security, strong and silent. The lack of warmth, the string between you two pulled taut, ignites an obdurate yearning – the very same yearning experienced when you spent days avoiding the man prior to your departure for Fontaine. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they all say, and there certainly was some merit to it.

The silence remains suffocating, in some ways, but also comforts you with its deep pressure, distracting you enough that you fail to notice Alhaitham moving around. He removes his cloak and earpieces, draping them neatly over the couch armrest before he comes to stand next to you at the sink. He grabs a towel and is ready to dry when you’re done washing the dishes. Your muscles begin to relax, that earlier frost of loneliness gradually dissipating with his presence nearby. He dries everything with the utmost care and lines them up neatly as you hand them over, and you ignore the little brushes of his fingers against yours with each relinquished plate. You can’t help but wonder if he can feel the heat emanating from your cheeks because honestly, you feel like your face is on fire.

Alhaitham finishes drying off the last item – the second stemless wine glass – and turns to lean his back against the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He waits as you rinse down the sink and passes you the towel to dry off your hands. Your timid smile leaves him hopeful that you’re not visibly shying away from him— not visibly, at least. Seconds pass, and now there is nothing left for you to do or keep yourself busy. He waits for you to gather your bearings and settle to show that you’re ready to talk about… whatever this is.

Those haunting irises suddenly meet his with an alarming amount of determination, holding steadfast and searching his for something, anything. He can’t bear to lose and look away, not that he wants to. Yet you remain quiet, and Alhaitham leans into his impulses.

With firm, sure hands, he pulls you toward his original spot and lifts you up just enough so that you’re sitting on the counter. Alhaitham plants them by your waist and bends down to be level with your gaze, which now holds hints of fear and surprise. They’re open wide, your pupils slowly dilating, and he catches a glimpse of your fingers curling around the edges of the counter. He so badly wants to cradle your face in his hands, to feel your physical presence and prove to himself that you’re really here before him. But that is intimacy he hasn’t quite been granted yet and he can’t mess this up. He must’ve done something wrong the last time he was here, and he most certainly doesn’t want to risk the same outcome again.

“I like you,” he proclaims with a resolute tone. Alhaitham has always hated beating around the bush when unnecessary, and at this point he needs it said out loud for you to know. “I have been attracted to you since the moment we met, and I used to believe that it was purely a biological response. But then I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to learn more about who you are and how your mind works. To be quite honest, I can’t stand the thought of anyone else being in my position right now. I will not hide the fact that I am selfish and want you all for myself, if you would have me.”

You are struggling so hard to keep the smile off your face, your mouth pursing while your teeth dig into the inside of your bottom lip. Three months ago, you would never have seen this coming, and you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they had suggested it.

“If you need time, I can wait. I am not always the most patient person, but for you, I am willing to do so. And–”

“I was worried that you wouldn’t want to see me again after having sex,” you interject and confess. The embarrassment of your thoughts and actions quickly becomes a heavy weight in your chest. Your nerves strain to get the better of you and shut you down before saying more, but you force yourself to push past them. Alhaitham provided you with honesty and transparency, and he deserves the same from you. “We had so much tension between us and I was worried that once it was all resolved, you wouldn’t feel the need to see me again.”

Alhaitham takes a moment to process your words, but he can still see the tension in your shoulders. You won’t meet his gaze as you look past him or at other parts of his body. “There’s something else, is there not?”

You look down at your hands in your lap, your fingers intertwined and fingertips applying pressure where they land. With how forthcoming he has been, you owe it to him to extend the same courtesy, despite how silly it feels now.

“I couldn’t understand why you would even like me,” you say, voice soft and barely audible in the silence. You’re unable to mask the melancholy in your tone when you remember how it felt to internally question his affections and assume the worst. A quiet chuckle slips past your lips, but it’s derisive and bittersweet. “I’m just another scholar and you— you were the Scribe and later Acting Grand Sage. I thought maybe people would accuse me of… providing sexual favors, to put it lightly, if you showed me any leniency or favoritism in my academic career.”

The back of your knuckles brush against his cheek as you lift your head up to take him in. “You could have anyone in the world and you deserve nothing but the best. So why me?”

“I would need a few all-nighters and several pieces of paper to pen down every reason why.”

His quick reasoning with all indicators of certainty – his tone, the lack of any dishonesty in his eyes, the way he holds your eye contact – takes you for a loop. You’re only able to let out a soft “oh” as you let the implications of his words swim in your brain, leaving you helpless to find a suitable response. How do you follow up on an answer like that?

When he feels your fingers slipping down his jawline, he stops it with his own to press his cheek into your palm. “If it provides you any comfort, I will no longer be the Acting Grand Sage by next week. You know how long I’ve waited for them to process and approve of my resignation. And as the Scribe… it still does not matter. People who would assume something so salacious are simply capitalizing on their own insecurities, and they do not deserve a second of your time or an ounce of room in your thoughts. I do my best to exercise fairness and reason in all matters for the Akademiya, and even as my partner you would not be safe from that.

“I’ve never shied away from telling you how things are and you know this. I can ensure you would not earn any favoritism or leniency within the boundaries of the Akademiya, should my presence be involved in your research.”

The smirk that creeps up at the corner of his lips ignites a small flame in your belly – thrill and heat and trepidation all melding together. “Now, outside of those boundaries, it’s a different matter. If I may pry once more, what is your answer?”

Liquid fire pumps from your heart and into your veins, further fueling the heat in your core. Just as it dips dangerously lower, so does your hand, and the other joins in lightly scraping your nails down his abdomen. You feel him jump beneath your touch and relish in the sound of his swallow, and how his breath hitches when your fingertips dip into the band of his pants. They tug him forward until he’s standing between your thighs, just centimeters of nothingness between you two. Even as close as he is, Alhaitham can’t help but think there’s still too much space unoccupied.

Your eyes scream, beseeching him to understand your actions and for him to respond in kind. It can only mean one thing, but he wants to hear those words. He wants it engraved in his memories for the rest of time, despite the desperation to give in and give you both what you desire and need. Alhaitham grasps your chin between his thumb and curled index finger, leaning forward closer and closer until his lips barely touch yours.

“Use your words.”

Arousal seeps through your underwear as the subdued tenor of his voice sends shivers down your spine. Wholly unfair, this man is. Devilish, demanding, teasing, controlling – but most of all, he is yours.

“Please let me have you, if you will have me,” you whisper against his lips, eyelashes fluttering closed at the faint touch.

No sooner when you are greeted by darkness does he fully slot his mouth against yours, hands gripping tightly on your hips to pull you against him. A groan slips past and into you because gods, he’s missed this so much. After nights of waking up with the ghost of your kisses, he never wants this to end and longs for a reality where time can stop and he can take his sweet, sweet time to worship every millimeter of your body with his lips, and then some. Excitement electrifies his whole body when you reciprocate his desire ounce for ounce, and even more so when you let out a pretty little whine, just for him.

When he pulls back for a chance to breathe, he doesn’t move far. “Good girl,” he praises so sweetly, the words washing over you in something akin to pride for eliciting his approval and pleasing him. Alhaitham slides the tip of his nose against yours, moving to kiss your forehead, then your cheeks, your jawline, and the pulse point on your neck. Even the slightest pressure has you tilting your head to the side, granting him permission and room to do as he pleases. Alhaitham bides his time to press whispers of kisses onto your skin until he nips a sensitive spot. A sharp inhale pierces through the kitchen when he sucks on the patch of skin caught between his teeth, taking the utmost care to break the little capillaries underneath. He wants you to experience his phantom touches on these spots in the hours when he’s away from you, a constant reminder that you are his and his alone.

Your fingers dig into Alhaitham’s silver locks, torn between pressing him further into your neck and pulling him away. “Haitham,” you plead and tug on his strands, which only prompts an even harsher abrasion from him. “Wanna kiss you.” Your voice is breathy, and you feel as if you’re on the verge of tears. Who is he to deny such a reasonable request?

Though instead, he pulls you off the counter and rushes to your bedroom with you in tow, granting your wish as soon as you enter. The back of his knees hit the foot of your bed and Alhaitham drags you with him when he sits on top of your blankets. Despite your eagerness to clamber over and straddle him, he disapproves when you attempt to exercise a modicum of control over the situation by leveraging some height over him, utilizing gravity to lean into his embrace and kisses. His palms slide up your thighs with reverence until they dig into the crevice of your hips and yank them down. To have you pressed fully against him is most certainly a blessing, and there’s no way you don’t feel his growing arousal against yours.

When he feels his bottom lip stuck between your teeth, Alhaitham smiles. It still seems you’re not fully understanding the position you’re in. Perhaps, he might need to remind you of just who exactly is succumbing to who.

You keen when his hands dip underneath your shirt to draw meaningless patterns into your waist, but also to make his mark as he holds tight enough that you think you would feel some internal bruising tomorrow. They dance higher and higher, until they meet the bottom seam of your bra, and you nearly choke with the arousal suffocating your lungs.

“Can I?” Alhaitham almost begs, but watches for any sign of hesitation.

“Yes,” you breathe back. You lift your arms up, waiting with thinning patience, and he wastes no time in following through, tossing the shirt to the side with one hand as the other busies to unhook the metal clasp of your bra. Soon enough, your upper body is bare for him to see, to touch, to love – and his breath is taken away because you are so, so beautiful; perfect breasts with hardened nipples, an empty canvas all for him. He made a mistake last time for not seeing them properly, having been too focused on the way they felt against his chest instead.

“Fuck me,” he murmurs. His subsequent scoff feels derisive, sardonic, self-destructive, and his thumbs ghost over your areolas. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous – this is unfair.”

“You’re the one who’s unfair,” you retaliate with a shaky breath as you nearly tear off his shirt. One look at his muscular and toned frame, and it takes everything to stop the drool from spilling past your lips. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“Be careful,” he warns, his fingers digging into the flesh just underneath your breasts. Alhaitham holds onto you as he scoots further back onto the bed, and once he deems there’s enough room, he rolls over until he’s hovering above you, panting and hair splayed and lips swollen. “I’m just a feeble scholar.”

When you roll your eyes with an excessive amount of sass, he dips down to capture your right nipple in his mouth and gives a harsh suck as punishment, satisfied when all defiance on your face morphs into pleasure. Pretty, responsive, little angel, all for him, so sweet, so delicate, so adorable when your spine arches into his mouth and continues to suspend itself as he pays his respects to your other breast. You feel your conscience become fuzzier and fuzzier, dissolving into mush as the tendrils of overstimulation begin to grow, and once again, you find yourself torn between wanting to let him continue and wanting him to stop.

He decides to grant you some mercy when you can’t help but twitch and shy away. Alhaitham’s primal desires begin to crest and wash away any rationale, desperate to keep the taste and feel of your skin between his lips and on his tongue. He doesn’t quite understand this newfound desire to nip and bite, but all he knows is that when he does, his arousal pulses and nearly threatens to break past the seam of his pants. Alhaitham moves lower, lower, ghosting past your stomach, nudging past the band of your bottoms and underwear to tug them down all the way. Those are thrown out of view and he finally, finally, gets to continue from where he last left off, taking no time to push your legs away towards your chest and give a lascivious lick up the length of your cunt. The tip of his tongue meets your clit at the end of its journey, and he firmly holds you down when your hips buck into his mouth as it circles the nub.

It’s game over when he takes it fully in his mouth.

Your hands twist themselves once more into his silver hair, expletives slipping off your tongue as you chase your high. You feel your pussy clench around nothing the higher you climb, the coil in your core winding tighter and tighter. He eats you out like a man starved, enthusiasm unveiled and clear. His passion unbridled and sending you further into the clouds, you feel tears in your eyes begin to well up from sheer bliss, so sensitive and so unbelievably unprepared for everything this man was going to give you tonight. “Haitham,” you cry over and over, his name a mantra and prayer.

When he leans back, you catch a glimpse of the sheen on his chin and the way his eyes remain focused on your arousal, pupils blown. “You taste so good,” he compliments, his voice somehow having dropped an octave lower. “Could eat you out for hours. So good for me, fuck.” It’s dangerous how much you love to hear him curse, knowing that you are the reason why. The rational, feeble, well-spoken scholar, his prose extending to situations such as now, is almost reduced to such crude and filthy vocabulary.

Alhaitham would need to be blind to miss your sticky precum practically spilling from your core after what he said. It’d be a shame to let any of it go to waste, he muses, as he drags his tongue up the length of your cunt and pays attention to your clit again. He watches for every reaction, what makes you tug him closer, what makes your body twitch and convulse, what causes the shakiest exhales from your lungs, what contributes to your squeals and cries – he wants you to get a taste of just how unhinged he becomes in your presence.

Each moment of friction, so wet and slick, against your core seems to send you further and further into oblivion. Tears overflow when your heart bursts and Alhaitham doesn’t miss them – the sheen sliding down the sides of your face shines in the moonlight and he knows there is no reason to fear you’re in pain. He drinks in your moans and feels your fingers tangle further in his silver strands, nails scraping lightly against his scalp, your hips with a mind of their own as you grind against his tongue and nose to chase your release. Alhaitham pays no mind to the way his cock twitches once more in his pants or the unmistakable wet spot that’s formed from his own precum.

The coil in your abdomen wounds tighter and tighter. There is nothing on your mind but the man between your legs and your impending orgasm, one with an intensity you haven’t experienced in ages. “ ‘m close,” you gasp and meet his burning gaze. “Please, wanna cum – yes – please, sir–”

How he doesn’t cum in his pants at the title is beyond his comprehension, but the stroke to his ego is welcoming, to say the least. Alhaitham never felt any type of way when others addressed him as so, sometimes annoyed even, but from you? It is everything. A verbal indication of relinquishing your power to him, your existence at its highest vulnerability, the underlying respect, the implicit trust hidden between three letters – only has him pushing down harder against your thighs, leaving no room for you to fight. The resolve and determination to have you cum on his tongue only increases and his thoughts plunder further into hell. Cum for me, cum on my tongue, let me taste your release that I give you, so fucking addictive – his silent commands painted on your tight bundle of nerves.

With Alhaitham exercising a dizzyingly sinful strength against you, leaving you helpless and defenseless, you let yourself succumb as your heart rate increases. Your breathy warnings and pleas, the oh fuck!s, the whimpering sir!s, confessions of love on the tip of your tongue – you have one minute, moment of clarity when your body freezes, and the coil snaps.

You don’t think you’ve ever cum so hard before, reality-shattering, nerves on overdrive, your body trembling beneath his palms as you ride out the pleasure for as long as you can. The quiet scream from your lungs is inevitable as it dissolves into sobs and Alhaithm follows you when your hips buck. There’s not enough oxygen for you and you can feel the visceral clenching of your abdomen as you fight for air and some semblance of control again – but that flies out the window when, for the first time tonight, Alhaitham slides his tongue inside your quivering cunt.

Said Scribe cannot help but groan, and he wishes he’d done this earlier. To feel your creamy walls squeeze as his taste buds slide amongst them, your keening ringing in his ears, the shaking of your thighs a prisoner between his fingers, the intoxicating taste of your cum – all of it is more than he could have ever dreamed of. Right where he wants you, and all his, his, his.

The incessant tugging of his hair tells him to stop for now, as much as he doesn’t want to. If it were up to him, he’d have you cumming on his tongue for hours, his hard cock be damned. But your convulsions of overstimulation manage to generate the slightest bit of sympathy and he laments when pulling away. His eyes hone in on the way your pussy contracts around nothing, almost begging for something to fill you again. “Good girl,” he praises, tenor delicate and charming, as he rubs gentle circles on your abdomen in an attempt to ground you. There are stars in your eyes, and he waits for you to come back to him.

You barely register Alhaitham’s hand on your body as you stare up at the ceiling, brain and soul somewhat disconnected due to the high of your orgasm. So good to me, your thoughts coo. Haitham, sir, how can I show my gratitude to him?

“Y/N,” and at last, you make eye contact with him. He preens at the blissed out look on your face and moves forward until he’s lying next to you, his weight supported on one arm while the other brushes away your baby hairs. A dreamy smile graces your lips, and he can’t help but lean forward for a soft kiss. Languid, sensual, pliant – several minutes fly by as you bask in each other’s presence until the need for more begins to bloom again. Alhaitham lets out a chuckle when he feels your hand wandering down his frame until it rests on his crotch. Making out with you has kept him semi-hard, and he’s happy you’re taking the initiative. Not that you’re in control, by any means, but it’s cute that you might think so.

Your mind reels from just how big he feels beneath your palm. You can’t deny the times when you’ve sneaked glances at his crotch, his tight pants outlining a slight bulge from day to day – but you never thought your fingers would be splayed so far apart, and you just know they would struggle to meet when gripping his length. Your whines reach his ears as you fumble with the clasp above the zipper, and Alhaitham is so kind, kind enough to take over and do it for you. Seconds later, his pants and underwear join the pile of forgotten clothes, and you immediately look down at what you’ve been waiting for.

The instant pooling of saliva in your mouth is embarrassing, shame and lust spilling into your chest and through your veins. Alhaitham’s cock is so beautiful, just like the rest of him, and you’ve never wanted something in your mouth so bad. It twitches under your reverent gaze, and the tip glistens with his precum. Even the noticeable veins drawn along his length are beautiful, and his balls seem to be engorged, heavy with cum. You prove your earlier hypothesis when you hold it in your hand, and your fingers truly do not meet around the circumference. A gush of slick leaks and paints your inner thighs, your hand seemingly tiny in comparison as you slowly stroke him.

Alhaitham hisses at your touch, so cold against the heat of his cock. There’s a passing thought of wanting to keep that fawning look on your face at all times, the metaphorical hearts in your eyes with his dick in your hand. In a moment of weakness, the thought begins to spiral into darker fantasies, how to keep you hooked and dependent on him, his cock, his mouth, his touch. A flash of a daydream crosses by of him sitting in his office chair, you on your knees between his legs, his shaft bullied deep in your throat as you keep it warm for him, drool and spit spilling from the corner of your lips, so submissive and desperate for him to fuck your face–

Your thumb glosses over his frenulum and he is ripped from his reverie. At risk of cumming too quickly, he thinks of how to keep your soft hands away for now. What can he use? How can he restrict you?

Ah.

Confused whimpers follow after him when he abruptly stands up from your bed and walks over to the pile of discarded clothes. You miss the warmth of his body next to you, goosebumps from the sudden chill rising on your skin. But before you can begin to chase after him, he returns to sit on the bed and beckons for you to sit up for him.

He loves how willing you are to obey him, your eyes wide and a little awestruck as you follow his gesture – almost as if he were your puppeteer. Alhaitham holds out his hands in front of him, palms facing the ceiling, and you match the posture with intrigue painted across your face. As you wait, clarification comes to you when he reveals the patterned, teal sash that usually encompasses his hips. Slow, deliberate movements as he wraps the cloth around your wrists (in case you don’t want it because he would never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with), indicate this uncharted territory. And when the tie is made and the knot is pulled tight, you look up at him.

“Is this okay?” He asks. When you give a mute nod, he clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Words, Y/N.”

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammer. “Yes, sir, it’s okay.”

Alhaitham watches as you lay back until your head meets the pillow, and your bound wrists lay prettily above your head. Your constrained and exposed body greets him. He sees your eyes strain to catch another glance at his cock, and the smirk on his lips is nothing but smug as he gives it a few quick pumps as a gift to you.

“Can you come here?” You plead because you know there’s no room to make any demands, and it’s his turn to be curious. Nevertheless, he resumes his original position by your side, but you shake your head. You can tell he doesn’t know what’s happening, but you are feeling shameless and powerless, at the mercy of this man, and you want him to really, really, drive that point deeper.

“Can you…straddle me? Like above my chest though?”

If this is going where Alhaitham thinks it’s going, he might just abandon the Akademiya altogether, whisk you away to his house, kick out Kaveh and have him live in your apartment instead, and keep his own doors locked for eternity. He does as you ask as he thrums in excitement, his cock weighty and leaking when you’re satisfied with where he is.

Time slows to a crawl as he watches you lift your head up with your pretty mouth open and take the tip of his cock between your glossy lips.

The tight heat is maddening, a strangled “fuck” falling off his tongue, and you push forward to take more of his length in your mouth. So dutiful and loyal, you have proven yourself, as you suck his cock with your eyes closed and moans vibrating around him. Given certain physical limitations, there’s only so much you can take in, which is where he believes it’s his time to act his part. He places a hand on the back of your skull to provide you some relief, but also to sink deeper down your throat. Naturally, you fall back until it’s just the head between your lips again, but he is right there to drag you back towards him and fill your depraved mouth.

“Look at you,” he hisses, controlling your pace. Such a good little fucktoy, no? “Who knew you would want my cock so badly? For me to sit on top and watch as you struggle to even take half of it in your mouth? I don’t think you have any idea of what you’ve started. Your lips are stretched so wide, but just wide enough for me to fit perfectly in between them, like it was made for me. Maybe that’s what it is.” His perverse thoughts run wild without any composure or filter, and he is unable to hold it in. “You were made for me and my cock, and– oh fuck – it seems like you love the idea of being my personal cocksleeve.”

Your eagerness to please him increases as you strain to take more in, his tip slipping into and catching the back of your throat. The sound of you choking on his cock rings in your ears, sending you further and further into oblivion. Every word from Alhaitham sounds true, and he’s right – right that maybe you were specifically made for him, his own blessing from the Archons, and right that you deeply, painfully, love the idea of letting him use you as he wishes. A garbled cry, followed by more sticky release dripping from your cunt, doesn’t go unnoticed when his voice sounds ragged on the word “cocksleeve.” It’s a lascivious tone of accord and approval, and your tears flow when he pulls you as far down his length as your quenched throat allows, your chained wrists resting atop your skull, and he keeps you there.

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” He asks with a teasing lilt in his voice. “I have no objections to fully commit to being yours, your sir. But you must understand I expect the same commitment in return. This cock is yours,” Alhaitham promises, relishing in your muffled whimper of agreement. “And you are mine. My,” – a pause – “personal, depraved, slut.”

At first, he worries he might have gone too far with such a derogatory term, but they are all dashed aside when he watches your eyelids flutter closed and eyes roll into the back of your head. A long whine sends him into overdrive, and even more so when you try to fit more of his cock down your throat. Expletives slip from his tongue as he pulls you away completely, a tendril of saliva connecting your lips to his tip, your mouth still wide open while gasping for air. He sees your own tongue peek out and rest on your bottom lip, pliant and waiting for him to return.

Alhaitham lets go of your skull and watches you fall back to your pillow. He moves your tied hands above and over your head until they settle right above your belly button. The position allows him to trap your arms beneath him and move just a little further up the bed for the bottom half of his length to weigh heavily on your eager mouth. It remains open as he drags his shaft along your tongue, teasing you by slipping the head of his cock in your mouth. Your lips immediately close around it, but they are no match for when he pulls away, and you’re left empty once again.

“Truly a cockslut,” he chides as his hand takes a hold of his length and smacks it against your tongue. “You’ll take everything I give you, won’t you?” And he smirks when you nod, still beckoning, still waiting. “You’ve done well for me so far. Perhaps I should give you a gift.”

There’s little time to regain your senses when he shoves his length in until it hits the back of your throat once more and grabs onto your headboard. Just that angle gives him enough leverage to fuck your face as he pleases.

“If your mouth is this tight, I can only imagine what your cunt will feel like on my cock,” he grits out. Your brain goes numb as you take it all in, content and satisfied to please Alhaitham. You focus on making sure your teeth don’t drag against his skin, tongue swiping patterns and circles around his cock when possible. “I’ll need to take my time stretching out your tiny pussy, won’t I? Fuck, need to make it fit inside you. Isn’t that right?”

Alhaitham pretends to be dissatisfied with your moan, all garbled and thick with drool. “How many times do I need to tell you to use your words?” He teases, knowing full well there’s no way for you to form any right now. But a wicked, joyous laugh rings in your ears when he can tell you’re attempting to do it anyways. It goes straight down his dick and into his balls, and as they tighten further, he knows he’s close.

You don’t know how it’s possible for him to grow any thicker, but somehow it happens when his pace increases, and he tells you, “I’m going to cum, okay? Going to give you all my cum, make you my cumslut. You want to be my cumslut, you’re doing so well, so perfect, letting me fuck your mouth. Shit, cumming, cumming –!”

At the very last second, he pulls out and furiously pumps his cock, shifting back just in time for his cum to paint your breasts. “Fuck!” He growls and rides out the high until there’s nothing left to give you, blinding light beneath his eyelids before he snaps them open so he can watch you become covered by his release. Viscous, white ropes paint over you, some even landing on your cheek and neck. His chest heaves and his eyes remain unfocused from the fog in his brain.

That is, until he watches you swipe his cum from your neck with your fingers before it drips onto the bed, and place them in your mouth. Your sigh screams content as you lick them clean, and as far as he can tell, you’re enjoying the taste of him – as if he was the one to sate your thirst rather than the other way around. In a trance, he joins you in your meal by feeding you more with his own appendages, and his dick returns to half-mast once all the cum is visibly gone and slid down your throat.

“Thank you for your cum,” you say, your voice dreamy and euphoric. Alhaitham pulls you by your bound wrists again until you’re sitting up close enough, and buries his head into your shoulder, embedding his own kisses of gratitude into your skin. It doesn’t matter that there’s dried spit on your chin and your hair is a mess – you’re still so incredibly stunning to him.

To look into your eyes, to cradle your face in his palm, to ghost his thumb over your cheekbone, how lucky he is to be in a position to even ask you, “Was that okay?”

“Very,” you smile, unabashed and clearly happy with everything that had just happened. A small giggle slips out as well.

“Good,” he murmurs after kissing your forehead. “Would you be open to one more round? It seems I haven’t gotten enough of you.”

You see the evidence of his claims, how his cock gradually grows and rises under your watchful stare. His earlier words of needing to stretch you out before he can fuck you play in your head, and they remind you of just how wet you are. Still tied up, you scoot back away from him until you can stretch your legs out, parted to reveal what you so desperately wanted to touch as his dick was lodged in your mouth. Alhaitham’s pupils dilate and zero in on the mess between your thighs, and he chases after you to spread your legs farther.

“You became this wet from me fucking your mouth?” His fingers slide against the folds of your puffy cunt, your clit peeking out and swollen. “Tsk, all this pre gone to waste,” and you whimper when his nails barely graze that bundle of nerves, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. There’s no resistance when he works his middle finger inside you and your breath hitches. He turns his wrist as he fingers you, creating more and more arousal coursing through your veins. Alhaitham is proud that one finger of his affects you so. You whine and reach for him with grabby hands, managing to latch onto his wrist so he can keep his appendages buried inside you. “My my,” he teases, and his fingers curl, searching and searching until his fingertip taps against the exact spot that makes your back arch.

“You’re so eager to be filled,” Alhaitham taunts as he lubes up his ring finger with your slick. You feel even tighter when it slips in with his middle finger, and he finds that spot again in no time, already having memorized where it is. “You don’t have my permission to cum yet,” he warns, a decision just made when your walls are really beginning to clench around him.

“B-but–”

A third finger joins in, cutting you off from any protesting. “You either cum on my cock or not at all,” he offers and you think it’s beyond cruel. Why can’t you cum on his fingers and his cock?

With every last thread of your existence, you stamp down the growing desire to cum again. It feels like hours have passed, your sanity barely intact, when Alhaitham hums, just loud enough to be heard amongst your moans and whines. “I’m beginning to question whether I truly am too big for you,” he contemplates out loud. “What do you think, Y/N?”

It’s so hard to answer his question when you’re using everything else inside you to not break around his fingers. The depraved squelching of your slick only adds fuel to the fire in your core, and you’re trying to think, you really are–

The friction ceases, and before you can even address it, there’s a light, punishing slap across your clit. “Fuck,” you whimper, throat dry.

“Answer my question. Do you think I might not fit inside you?”

You know what answer he’s looking for. You know he wants you to surrender to his hidden intentions, that, “It doesn’t matter,” and you swallow. “I will…make it fit.”

In turn, he removes his fingers with care, but leaves you horribly empty with the void expanding into your chest. “Do you have a condom?” Alhaitham asks while looking around your bedroom.

“The bottom drawer on the right in the bathroom.”

Your sir leans forward to place a gentle kiss on your stomach. “I will return soon.”

For the seconds that you try to catch your breath, to calm your beating heart, to ignore the vacuity between your legs, you realize just where you are and who you’re with. You haven’t had much of a clear mind since the second he knocked on your window, caught up in the whirlwind of your nerves and paranoia – and then to have it turned on its head where you now lay in your bed, free of any prior anxiety, and drown in your lust.

Alhaitham wanders back into your room, focused on the package in his hand. Shameless and perverse, your eyes drink in his length, bobbing with each step. Even you’re beginning to doubt your ability to take him all in, but the anticipation, the threads of excitement that you may be filled again clouds over everything else.

“Hold your legs for me,” he commands gently, and you obey once he unties the sash around your wrists. Your arms hook beneath your knees so that everything is displayed and exposed to him. He sets the condom to the side when he shuffles closer so his hips meet the bottom of your thighs. Your breath hitches when he presses his cock onto your abdomen, and it pleases both of you so much to see that his tip just about reaches your belly button. “Look at how deep it’ll be inside you,” he coos, your whine following. “But it’s okay if you can’t take it all, you can’t help it that your little cunt is so tight.”

There’s a twinge of faux disappointment in his words. As if on instinct, you shake your head in vehement disagreement. “I’ll make it fit, sir, I promise,” you gasp and pull your legs closer to you. “We have to make it fit.”

“Mmm, my eager cocksleeve,” he responds with mirth, his regales washing away the panic from your system. You wait with bated breath as he grinds the underside of his entire length against your glistening folds, purposely catching onto your clit when possible. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand the torture, becoming wetter and wetter with each glide. “The color system is okay to check in with you?”

“Yes.”

He nods and leans back so the tip of his cock is just outside your entrance. His fingers roll and stretch the condom down his length. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to tear his gaze away from your core so he can obtain your consent to start, and the determined nod he receives sets his heart aflame.

A sinful perversion enters his mind as he watches your messy cunt split open and stretch over the head of his cock. He thinks about the future and wonders when the day will be for you to be in his lap and sink down his cock with no hesitation. His thumbs spread your folds further apart so he can get a better look, his lustful illusions from many lonely nights finally coming into play. Your breathy gasp when the head pops in is alluring, and he craves more of it. That perversion echoes its lack of satisfaction, that this is not enough, and he needs it all. Pride fills his chest as you take the first few inches with no problem, trying to take deep breaths as he continues to bully his way into your pussy.

Though internally, your mind is on the verge of breaking from how thick Alhaitham is. The emptiness from earlier has long been fulfilled, and you take a look to see that he’s barely fit half oh him inside you, and you already feel so full.

You were made for me.

I was made for him, you remind yourself, rationality thrown out the window because serving Alhaitham is all that matters in this moment. He’s giving you his cock, taking his time for you, providing a subtle reminder of just who you will belong to from here on out. Alhaitham has been so kind to you, you think. The least you could do is to be his good little slut, so eager and always yearning for him.

“You’re doing so well,” Alhaitham praises, though his voice chokes. You’re terribly tight around him, so much so that he wonders if he would even be able to pull out once he’s buried all of himself inside you. It wouldn’t be much of a problem, he thinks, to have you stuck on his cock for eternity, fucked dumb with nothing on your mind but him and pleasure. His hand puts the slightest pressure on your abdomen, but it’s enough for you to break with an “oh!”

“Fuck, I can almost feel myself inside you,” he marvels. “Color?”

It takes you a few seconds to process his question. “Green,” falls off your tongue with a whimper. But the bit of hesitation is enough for Alhaitham to stop in his tracks.

“Y/N, look at me.”

A dreamy hum on your lips, your blown out eyes meet his, and he realizes how far gone you are. “We can stop, it’s okay if we do.” But that may have been the wrong thing to say because your face falls, tears prickling your eyes. “I can do it,” you sniffle. “Please, sir.”

There is no way for him to remain unaffected by the way you address him, but he ensures to take extra care for the last few inches.

“You’re doing so well, taking all of me in. You’re keeping your promise, I’m so proud of you,” Alhaitham coos. The bottom of his shaft is just a little bit thicker, and you let out a happy squeal when your cunt stretches as much as it can to accommodate him. His tip barely grazes your cervix, and through your floaty thoughts, you almost wish it was deeper. The groan from Alhaitham as he bottoms out provides you comfort. It can only mean that you’re making him feel good, and that you did manage to have him fit inside you. So pleased with yourself, your pussy clenches around him and coaxes for more, for his cum.

If Alhaitham didn’t have better control of himself, he would’ve cum right then and there. Buried deep inside you, warm velvety walls sucking him in – it’s hard to believe that this is really happening. The person he loves is in his arms, joined with him in the most intimate way known to mankind. He never wants to leave you, leave this, yet his cock begs for friction. Your adorable whine of protest as he slides out a couple inches beckons him to return, and return he does as you let out a sound of pure satisfaction.

“Loveyou,” your words slurred together and fuzzy. “Love, love your cock, please, wan’ more, please?”

Archons, how are you so perfect for him? Alhaitham sets a steady, moderate pace and focuses on you, ensuring that you’re okay and pleased. It seems there’s a permanent grin on your face, even when you gasp or scream, and he’s determined to keep it there. When you seem completely accustomed to his pace, his strokes become longer and more indulgent. “Fuck,” you cry each time he fills you up with more and more of his cock with each stroke. His thumbs rub circles into your clit and drive you closer to your peak – you don’t know if you’re ready to cum yet, or if you want this to end. You don’t, but you’re so close–!

“Such a good girl for me – your little cunny was really made for my cock. There’s no one else for me, just you, pretty girl,” he breathes, seeing the hesitation on your face as your walls clench tighter than before. “I know you’re gonna cum soon, I want to see you cum on my cock. Can you do that for me?”

Anything he asks for, you would go to great lengths to give him what he wants. So if he wants you to cum, then you have to. You nod with a pout on your face, but Alhaitham leans forward, pushing your legs back further as he reaches to kiss the pout away. “That’s my good girl, so perfect.”

He pulls out completely, but why?

Alhaithm grabs and maintains eye contact with you for two agonizing seconds, and then commands you to, “Cum for me.”

And you do just that when he slams his entire length inside you as soon as those words leave his lips.

Alhaitham basks in your scream and sobs, your body convulsing and trembling beneath him, your walls an impossible vice around his cock. He grinds against you to go as deep as he can, “fuckfuckfuck”, and a growl buried in your neck as he cums. In your high, you think you can feel the heat and its spasms of it all, passively wondering what it would feel like to have him cum inside you without a condom. Perhaps one day you’ll be granted a nice little breeding session, but that is neither here nor there.

Alhaitham plants pecks and kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders, smiling when your little giggles reach his heart. If anything, he’s just happy that everything turned out okay and didn’t end up in a disaster like last time. As he observes the serenity gracing your complexion, he cannot contain his affection any longer.

“Thank you…for having me.” I love you.

Another giggle. “I love you, too, Haitham. A lot.”

You’re kindly gifted a most adoring eskimo kiss. “I need to get you cleaned up, so I need to pull out, okay?”

The pout returns despite your agreement, and Alhaitham spends much needed time to pull out without you breaking. The devil on his shoulder protests otherwise, as it attempts to coax him into keeping you speared on his cock for the night, or more. Your whine of loss tugs at his heartstrings and feeds into his greed, and he embraces you once more to keep you grounded. Slowly, but surely, you return to your senses. Alhaitham is heavy and sweaty against you, but it’s more than you could ask for. A few taps on his shoulder are enough to tell him that you’re back on the same plane of reality with him, and he dives in to kiss you again, painting compliments and praises of how amazing you were along your lips.

Alhaitham then sweeps you off the bed, into his arms, and takes hurried steps towards the bathroom. You’re like a delicate flower with the way he places you on the toilet, and he reminds you of the importance of peeing after sex. Your privacy is granted when he leaves to remove and tie off the condom to discard it in the kitchen trash can, and later returns with a warm, wet towel. He waits until you’re back in bed and comfortable before he tenderly wipes away any excess fluids and leaves it on your nightstand before cuddling next to you. You turn towards him and burrow into his chest, content as his arms embrace you with an air of security and protection.

He mumbles something into your hair, but you’re out before you can even think to ask what he said.

When you finally come to, you can’t remember the last time you slept so well. No tiresome dreams, no sporadically waking up in the night – weeks out in the nature with Lumine had turned you into a light sleeper, and you missed this feeling of being so well-rested.

But the soreness in your thighs screams otherwise, and you wince when they refuse to cooperate. A muscular arm rests around you as if it has always belonged there. At first you question why it’s there, but then your brain decides to wake up and remind you just exactly of what transpired last night. Despite the mixture of shock and embarrassment (mainly at just how wanton you acted), you look up from where you are buried into Alhaitham’s chest. Somehow, you’re surprised to see him already awake. Well, surprised may not be the right word. But the clear adoration in his eyes is unmistakable, seizing and pulling on your heartstrings.

Alhaitham quite enjoys watching you think and process, imagining the fine-tuned gears and cogs in your brain working in overdrive. He remains silent as he smooths out some of the tangles in your hair, and he patiently waits to hear from you. You two had already experienced many hours of quietude before, so this was nothing new for him. There are very few moments in his life when he’s felt this serene and content, half-naked and you pressed against him, both drinking in each other and the light of day coming from your window. He could get used to this. He wants to get used to this.

“You’re making me breakfast in bed,” you decide with your first words of the day, grumbling with a pout on your face. “I don’t think I can walk properly.”

The former scribe arches a perfect silver brow, but the shit-eating smirk stretching along his face is anything but confusion. He knows exactly what you’re implying, and he’s quite satisfied with himself for causing such a situation. Perhaps he should do it more often.

“That I can do,” he agrees, his morning voice deep, yet full of mirth. After a quick kiss on your forehead, he rolls out of bed to do just as you command.

The growl from your stomach prevents you from calling him back because you’re cold now. A shiver runs down your spine as you tighten the blanket and sheet around you, tucking some beneath your chin in an attempt to trap whatever warmth you have left. But when you catch a hint of Alhaitham’s lingering scent, you feel yourself immediately calm down and breathe evenly. The gentle cluttering from your kitchen provides another layer of security as well.

Lost in your basking, you’re quite startled when you feel Alhaitham’s lips on your cheek, a tray in his hands with a light, yet nutritious breakfast arranged. But as you continue to lay there, he can’t help but laugh.

“Do you need help sitting up?”

“No.”

“Don’t be stubborn.”

You do, in fact, need his strength to sit up comfortably against some pillows. The embarrassment hasn’t quite worn off by the time he slides back underneath the sheets to sit next to you, an arm slung over your shoulders as you eat. But in seconds, it dissipates, and is replaced with something akin to love. For you both to finally be here, together as if you two have been dating for years, is exactly the outcome you have been wishing for.

“You know,” he starts before being interrupted by a forkful of food shoved into his mouth, courtesy of you. “You’re a perfect reason why I can finally kick Kaveh out of my home.”

You swat his shoulder with your free hand. “That’s so mean!”

“He can just move in here. I’m not that heartless to leave him homeless. Is that what you think of me?”

You answer without hesitation, “Yes.”

With the hand hanging off your shoulder, his nails scrape lightly in retaliation against the skin beneath your collar bone.

“If I recall, I was pretty fair with you last night,” he murmurs into your hair. “Perhaps I need to remind you just how fair when you’re done with breakfast.”

And you’ve never finished a meal so quickly.

fin.

#alhaitham x reader #alhaitham smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact

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accio-victuuri · 5 months

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NOVEMBER 19 : The Full Story 📝

oh well sort of, cause this is what is known and shared publicly with tons of filling in the blanks by cpfs. someone made a side by side incidents during this day and time for the past years 2017 to now 2023 and it’s good to see it all laid out. it’s hilarious to see the realization among turtles that we could be wrong about their anniversary date. for years, we always talked about the month of June but now, November is making a great argument 😂

( these freakin masterminds are so naughty! I swear!!! 🤣🤣🤣 )

source of the compilation i’m using to outline is 圣衣雪琳 cause they perfectly summed up the key points very well. I already talked about some of these in my previous post but this is for the “11/19 lore” exclusively and so we can expand on other years.

I’m a sucker for timelines so let’s go 💪🏼

2017: At this time, they already know of each other and depending on who you ask might have already been low key stalking the other. LOL. WYB’s was about Just Dance and ZZ is a selfie and hotpot ; the latter post about going home.

I don’t think that this holds much significance in terms of an actual relationship and stuff happening behind the scenes. However, it feels like fate that they both posted on this day even without that significance being there. We cpfs love to talk about how they are fated and certain things, no matter how mundane, turned out to be a piece that completed the puzzle. There is some push back with some turtles saying this shouldn’t be included cause it seems like the start of this 11/19 is 2018 but again, just leaving this here. I could probably add 2015/2016 if we really wanna back track lol

2018: THIS IS THE KEY CPN IN ALL OF THIS. I have already explained it here. The infamous Japan trip. How both of them seemingly making references to their post from this year vs today (2023) especially XZ who even posted on the same time. There are so many rumors about this timeline, even going as far as saying the next day, they started living together. How this was WYB saying it’s WYB, not LWJ. So the relationship they have now is not between fictional characters but the real one.

I’m eating this candy whole. No one can tell me otherwise. I’m sold 🤣🤣🤣

Have we been wrong? did they officially become together 11/19/2018. Some are even pointing out that one of GG’s photos shared today appears to be him traveling back from IM to Beijing.

and who is in Beijing? His home. Yibo. 🏡

We love to think about them sharing photos to each other and i’m imagining this is ZZ sending something similar to WYB and saying that he is on his way back.

2019: Bazaar video was released, it’s message being a favorite among BXGs. Going by the assumption that this is their anniversary of sorts, it makes sense to have a message like that to be delivered.

how he met his love in a dream ( presumably that summer and playing wwx opposite wyb’s lwj ) and when he woke up, his love is still there. meaning even in reality, he still feels the same. no. it was not scripted, the one who shot it said it was xz’s answer and he was shocked too.

youtube

They posted some work related stuff on that day, with WYB’s being audi’s. the part of the caption we are clowning about is : Don’t blame me for not reminding you. Which in the original post and context is about the benefits you will get if you buy an Audi. but in cpn speak it could mean that ZZ probably forget, but he actually didn’t cause that bazaar love confession was clear.

2020: I already talked in detail over here #2 with was going on at the time.

It’s also the start of the whole Thursday is a good day to see you, in reference to WYB’s vogue post. Then it snowballed into a whole CPN of it’s own.

I forgot to add one important thing tho, around this time 11/18 there schedules were public and both are supposed to go back to Beijing. WYB was from Hangzhou and ZZ was from Nanjing. The incident of WYB changing his flight 3x so he can go back to Beijing is this time 11/18. We clowned that he was so eager to be in the same city with ZZ but with what we think now, it could be he wanted them to be together badly because it’s their anniversary the next day 11/19. 🤯

2021: Both of them posting a Douyin video that involves changing clothes. Which is a very common transition trend on the app but seeing it done on the same day was a treat and unusual. GG’s was posted 11/17 and WYB was 11/19.

I wanna remind people too that this is the same month we got the mysterious “voices” both in Shenzhen Vlog ( his husband wang yibo ) and talks of ZZ being at the Luoyang press conference filming. The same month the whole Ximalaya CPN started too. So they were definitely “acting up”.

2022: No actual posts but a parallel. 11/17, Guangdian appeared on the itunes chart because of fan’s effort. 11/18, WYB released a song ( government related ) called Light Chaser. So spotlight = light chaser has similar element and theme of light. Then on 11/20 WYB’s shared a douyin with 👀.

2023: Probably making up for how quiet last year was, they decided to give us a big hint/s of what 11/19 is all about. 😂😂😂

This is all fake and cpn talk. I do enjoy when candies go years back! This journey of trying to piece things together is a bxg’s strength so we’re really thriving today— with all the possibly unrelated events we have managed to stitch together into this! 🙃

#bjyx #yizhan #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #Youtube #i love watching all of us collectively lose our minds over this lol #ok i shall sleep now

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janesociety · 1 year

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how different marauders characters would act at a taylor swift concert w/ you ⭑

inspired by this post by the lovely @bealovesmarauders

(0.7k)

remus knows her discography by heart. he was originally a little insecure to sing the whole time, but he can’t help but sing along when you look so cute dancing and screaming the words to each song. he probably would’ve been the one to buy tickets after you came to terms with your chances of getting them being so slim, so when he surprised you with them you were over the moon. he would’ve gotten you two lower bowl seats so you would be really close but also able to see every single visual. he also would’ve offered to stand and wait in the merch line during the openers and before the concert started so you could have fun and watch them and have a cute t-shirt to take home.

james “swiftie” potter would be going absolutely feral. he would’ve gotten floor seats that were at least in the first ten rows so he could feel everything. he would’ve made a huge ordeal about surprising you with the tickets. i just know he would take you out to a fancy brunch before you guys got ready for the concert. he would probably want you two to go as miss americana and the heartbreak prince and people would definitely use your pictures as inspo for their shows. i also think he’d be the type to propose during lover or love story if you were at that point in the relationship. he would’ve been all cute about it too and told everyone around you so they could film and take pictures for you guys during the moment. he would also make a show of carrying you back to your car after the concert, even if your feet didn’t hurt that bad from the extremely uncomfortable shoes you inevitably would wear.

oh, sirius. i feel like he’s a total music snob and was really only going originally because you were so excited about it. but then he gets to the concert and he’s awestruck. he would’ve gone insane during the beat drop in don’t blame me but also prob would’ve teared up during my tears ricochet. he would’ve loved every moment of it and would immediately regret not learning all her songs before the concert. i think he’d be so obsessed that the minute he got home he would’ve gone online and bought you two more tickets for either the second night in your city or the next closest show. he’d also probably make you explain all the lore and stories behind everything on the way home. you just know that next time, he will be so prepared he will outshine every other swiftie boyfriend in the crowd. he’s also a rep girly.

lily is a swiftie through and through. there’s not doubt in my mind that she’s not an evermore and lover girly. she would’ve fought hard for those tickets and she would be so proud when she surprised you with them. you and her would spend so much time picking out the perfect themed outfits for the night and would definitely end up in a few of those “my fav outfits i saw at the era’s tour!” videos. she definitely has a note in her notes app where she keeps track of all the surprise songs and which ones she wants (she was heartbroken after dbatc and clean were taken in the same night, but she also knows that there’s not a single song that she’d be disappointed in getting). it honestly doesn’t matter where your seats are because no matter what you two will be having so much fun it won’t even matter in the end.

regulus, unlike sirius, actually prepared for the concert. he was definitely doing his research before hand. he was never a big taylor swift fan before, but when he saw your eyes light up when you told him you got tickets, he knew he had to be ready. he spent months listening to each album one by one, making playlists, attempting to learn words, and maybe even looking into the meaning behind the songs. he may get a little too caught up in connecting each song to one of her relationships and prob would wear and “i <3 T. S.” shirt to the concert. like james, he would’ve offered to carry you out of the arena, but unlike james, he would’ve listened to you saying no and would’ve been content simply holding your shoes in one hand and your hand in the other.

#the marauders #marauder era #taylor swift #the eras tour #taylor concert #marauders x reader #marauders x you #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #lily evans x reader #regulus black x reader #janie writes ‧₊˚✩彡

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lumibye · 4 months

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˗ˋ ୨ - 𝒏𝒆𝒘𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒂𝒑 𝒖𝒑 : 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 - ୧ ˊ˗

holidays are my only opportunity to be unapologetically sappy on this blog , i think . . . . ( /j ) and since it’s going to be 2024 in like 20 minutes here in australia i wanted to get this out before it gets too late into the night hehe also ! i have a lot i want to say

( also comm showcase because i thought that'd be cute )

so it’s almost been a year since i properly ( there's no way to properly do it but you understand . . ) started self-shipping , i think ? and it's ( in all honesty ? ) helped me through much of the year i started this blog back in march i believe , but i consider our anniversary to be in may ( i thought it was august but a very silly girlie got dates mixed up with lore if you could believe ehe ; ) which . . is five months off but it still feels pretty close ! he’s become such an intrinsic and important part of my life now that it feels as if it’s always been this way i guess . i’ve said it before but his character is just so kind and gentle and caring but also he’s reminded be how lovely it is to actually romanticise life a little bit and how good it feels to embrace your passion/s i um . . i love him very much ? 🩵🥺

he’s such a genuine source of comfort and so very dear to my heart , and I truly think he’s going to be my love favourite forever and i can't wait to do more ship stuff in the coming year hehe ! i’ve been with this series for sixteen years now . because i'm old . ( /j ) it was such a huge staple of my childhood and maybe i’ll talk about it someday - i'd like to ! - because many of my dearest memories are centred around this franchise. perhaps this blog was always inevitable in that way , i like to joke about self shipping with him is like a long term membership bonus . . but either way , in a sense i feel so lucky i get to express my love for it in this way if that makes sense ?

marianne ( having been made this year ) is also important to me in a way that’s . . come to surprise me , honestly ? i haven’t had an ‘ oc ‘ in a very long while so perhaps i just forgot about how emotionally attached you can really become . it’s probably also no shock that despite being a self insert, she’s very personal to me . . as someone that admittedly struggles with quite a bit of negative self talk, being able to say i like these parts of myself that i implement into her character has been quite healing for me as well ! and being able to rediscover my love for collecting flowers and coffee was also something really fun to do ! to the person that designed her ( you know who you are hehe ) I’m so incredibly grateful you bought her to life. It truly does mean sm . . as well as to everyone that's drawn her of course hehe , im always so giddy to see my little beloveds drawn so prettyful !

i really can’t emphasise enough just how grateful i am for both the community and all of my really lovely moots. i’m rather quiet so i don’t talk a lot but the interactions i’ve had on here are soso special to me and i really do cherish them so much no matter how small . . i have so many fond memories this year of that alone and it makes me tearyy happy happy 2024 to you and your beloveds hehe - if you actually managed to sit through all this I’m actually spinning you around so so much you very lovely and sweet . I hope the new year is everything you want it to be ! sending you each and every one of my best wishes your waaay mwah mwah !

#: charm's chatting ✦#⊱ long post ⊰#⊱ gush post ⊰#( art creds in alt txt )#font sizing wont cooperate again ;

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ohm-myy-god · 7 months

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Hello Edna and Harvey fans & all interested parties, here I present to you my made up fan-lore for Edna’s mom (and her dynamics with other characters and all that). Also featuring some supplemental artwork.

Warning in advance it’s very long, but it’s split into sections and has pictures so hopefully it’s bearable. Have fun…

Sketch page from May 2022

So this is my character for Edna’s mom, her name is Ana.

My main idea for her was that, in contrast to Mattis’s sort of helpless attitude about parenting, she was the more assertive parent. Not necessarily mean or strict, but she had more self confidence and experience working with children, and overall gave the impression that she “knew what she was doing”, at least from her husband's perspective.

This leads into her passing being not only a major blow for her family for obvious reasons, but also because Mattis wasn’t ready to be a single parent and never really adapted to the role. He was very stressed all the time and part of that came from feeling extremely inferior in his capabilities of being a father, with pressure from his neighbor/friend who seemed to have the most perfectly behaved kid(s) (ah yes the perfect family nothing to see here), and from his belief that his wife would’ve made a better single parent than him. That’s not necessarily the truth, as it would’ve been hard for anyone, but that was his perception of it.

I’ll now go into outlining her individual personality and her relationship with her family:

Physical description:

Appearance Timeline:

(Note on her Birth Year: My whole e&h timeline is based around the assumption that Brich Aus takes place in 2008; so Edna was born in ~1990 and Mattis was born in ~1957, give or take a year. This also therefore means Mattis and anyone his age is a boomer (heartbreaking).)

Name- Ana is a name I picked for no specific reason. I don’t know why I used that spelling instead of Anna but I did, and I’m used to it now, but if you prefer Anna it also works.

I didn’t pick a maiden name yet, so for now she only exists as Ana Konrad. DOCTOR Konrad actually but we’ll get to that.

Appearance- Ana looks very much like her daughter; they have the same eyes and complexion and hair (albeit different styles). I think the more “realistic” you try to make Edna and Harvey the more confusing it gets, so yeah their purple hair is genetic and natural and not specific to Edna (I mean it’s not like she could dye it in the hospital anyway). I just think of it as regular dark hair in their universe.

Personality:

In terms of personality, Ana was very goal-oriented. She was calmer and more collected than Edna, but just as determined to do whatever she set her mind to. She liked reading and writing more than Edna, but much like Edna she was always rather lonely no matter how outgoing she was. Their circumstances were different, but both Edna and her mom were kind of socially outcast growing up.

I’ll go more into her time at school in a later section, but when going to Uni her choice was to study psychology, and eventually be a child psychiatrist. Which might seem random but LISTEN… I think the idea of her being a psychiatrist with a completely different mindset from Marcel’s is a fun one, and it sorta adds to the tragedy of “man, if only someone could’ve stopped this” when it comes to how Mattis bought into Marcel’s ideology. And it adds another layer as to why Mattis trusts in unstable hypothetical science so much more than himself or his own daughter. And overall, I think she is a “strong-headed professional” just by personality, and being a doctor makes her seem far more impressive or competent than Mattis (especially from his perspective).

As a kid, Ana loved climbing trees. She and Mattis spent a lot of time there as kids. She also loved to sing and dance, things she probably did less and less as she got older.

Being that they lived next to a church in a small town, it seems to be that the Konrads were at least a bit religious (and in the audio book they mention Edna threw a Bible in the basement fireplace). I haven’t really thought about how that might play into their lives, but I like the angle that Mattis became more religious / started going to church after his wife died. (Edna meanwhile is not religious—too many arbitrary rules for her.)

Relationship with neighbors:

Ana was definitely more suspicious of Marcel when they first moved next to him than her husband was. Not that she assumed he was evil or anything, but she was a bit worried about how he was parenting his kids. Ana found the kids’ behavior more concerning than “exemplary”. But she chalked it up to Marcel having a hard time adjusting after his wife left and didn’t really investigate; she wasn’t around for the whole “we should brainwash kids to make them behave better” era, that happened later. She probably just vaguely distrusted him.

I like to imagine she hung out with Ruben if the neighbors came over too. Kind of like how Mattis would end up “babysitting” Edna and Alfred later on a lot, maybe she’d play cards with him or something and inadvertently create a more positive experience than anything Marcel ever did. Ruben needs someone in his life looking out for him…unfortunately this arrangement didn’t last long.

Relationship with Edna’s dad:

Ana and Mattis were childhood sweethearts; I imagine they met in high school and started dating near the end of it, so maybe the final year before university. But they were friends before that too.

Basically, their dynamic as kids was “trouble maker” and “kid who gets good grades but is also a trouble maker”. I like the idea that in contrast to his adult personality, Mattis was a lot more like Edna as a kid; he was still always a bit timid, but he had a rebellious phase where he wanted to stick it to the authorities and lash out more. At this point in his adolescence, he got into trouble a lot, and it wasn’t until Uni that he really changed himself around. (However, ironically, instead of being able to sympathize with his daughter when she started acting out later, he could only envision all the bad things that might happen to her as a consequence of her behavior and it made him all the more stressed to find a way to “fix” her.)

Ana, however, wasn’t quite so rebellious and did well at school. She felt the same way on the inside, though, and the two found kinship in wanting to “run away from it all” and escape pressure from family/peers. They would hang out on tree branches and throw rocks at people they didn’t like, but Ana still avoided anything that might get her in serious trouble.

But basically, dumb kids doing shenanigans. Ana didn’t think Mattis was particularly smart for vandalizing property and getting detention, but she also didn’t think less of him for it. Perhaps she had the “oh I can fix him” mindset, but mostly she was admiring his dedication.

But when it was time to go to university they decided to break up, since they’d be moving apart. They were sad about it, but they both moved along and figured they’d never see eachother again.

…That was, until they met again sort of randomly as adults years later.

This was probably 4 or more years after they’d started Uni; Ana was still in school and was a bit too busy for a serious relationship but they stuck together anyway and ended up dating again. This ended up working out, and they eventually got married. (Apparently it isn’t that uncommon to marry even while pursuing a doctorate, but I haven’t picked what year they got married. Shrug)

(Note about psychiatric education lmao- from what I can tell, it takes at least 6 years of medical school and an additional 5 years of full-time employment to become board-certified psychiatrist. Assuming Ana started university when she was 18, she was at least 30 when she got her doctor's degree.)

(Also, I can imagine being a woman pursuing a doctorate in the 80s wasn’t that common or easy, and I thought about her just being a psychologist instead since that takes half the amount of time. However have you considered the THEMATIC PARALLELS the IRONY of it all… Edna’s mom was a doctor and it’s funnier that way.)

Mattis and his wife would definitely be at odds sometimes because of the difference in their personalities. I think the dynamic would provide interesting conflict & they’d work it out.

Parenting:

So I suppose the big question is, how would Ana have affected Edna’s life had she lived longer?

I think the loss of her mother contributed heavily to Edna’s childhood rebelliousness. Not that she wouldn’t have had behavioral issues or struggled with making friends anyway, but I think she became so dependent on her own subconscious / on Harvey as a result of loneliness; evidence from the comic can back this up. In the comic, Edna is very withdrawn and more timid pre-Harvey, and Harvey’s eventual personality seems to be highly influenced by Freya - Edna’s close friend who coped with her own struggles by rebelling instead of following all the rules. Seeing as both girls also had a missing mother figure (again, WHO DOESN'T IN THIS SERIES), I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine Edna started feeling alone in the world when her mother passed.

But tangent aside, I don’t think Ana would’ve necessarily had an easier time with Edna than Mattis, but with the crucial difference that she wouldn't have been so easily influenced by others opinion on her parenting (eg Marcel). Anyone has insecurities, but listening to someone else basically say “your kid should get brainwashed” and thinking “mmmm maybe” is a very concerning state of mind.

Ana would have been frustrated and would have got impatient. She would have wanted Edna to “act normal” but she might have been more adept at figuring out WHY she was acting out. But meanwhile, I also think that being a doctor, there would have been tension in the fact that Ana saw “patients” and her daughter as entirely separate; thinking, Edna couldn’t be as mentally ill as the people she worked with…there must be a different answer…

But as a little kid, Edna got along just fine with her mom. They played together and did puzzles and ran in the sprinklers and mud and everything like that. Maybe even played with stuffed animals pretending that they could talk.

Rip 💀

So: death. For the record I think the trope of “main character’s mom died” isn’t very intriguing or creative (and I mean. Do you know any e&h characters with a mom? any of them? Exactly.) However, it isn’t even brought up by Edna in the game at all, and the “show not tell” aspect is a bit cool at least. (It isn’t even until the “yo mama” joke in the 2nd game that Edna is pointed out as an orphan. Her memory got washed and all so she didn’t even think of her mom when looking through her old house.) And if we were to ignore poki’s character profile website, yes, it’s also equally as plausible that Edna’s mom left rather than died. BUT personally I prefer this version because I already wrote this whole thing lol (and anyway, I think Marcel’s wife for sure left him, and we don’t want to get too repetitive).

But how did she die??…I haven’t really picked an answer to that.

If we’re looking for story parallels, medical malpractice or even being MURDERED might work, but I just don’t really know. Maybe it’s a let-down, but I’m indecisive, sorry 🤷

Ana became sort of idolized in death by Mattis especially, since Edna couldn't properly remember her as time went on.

Bit of a tangent, but I think a lot of self doubt and insecurity and general depression contributed to Mattis being lost about parenting—with the fact that Edna was intentionally acting out, fighting against something she saw as intrinsically opposed to her. In the 1st tempomorph Edna “sees” through Harvey that her dad is betraying her and eating ice cream with Alfred- this is her imagination, but it shows her perception of her father as a kid, that he wasn’t looking out for her. I think it’s clear Mattis cared about his daughter but he was just unable to rise above his own insecurities and be there for her. (I also think he went a teensy bit off-the-rails when the Murder happened and that’s partially why he pleaded guilty. Guy broke down). After all, his wife wouldn’t have ever let Edna act so uncontrollably if she were alive, would she?

That’s it

Thanks for reading all that if you did!! Hope reading about shit I made up was entertaining. I might do this again with other characters for funsies at some point in the distant future, we’ll see.

She isn’t even a character I spend too much time thinking about, so I figured this would be a good way to practice organizing my thoughts. And draw her some more since it’d been a while. It was fun.

Let me know your thoughts/impressions of her…

& goodbye 👋

Bonus- sketches from May 2022

#edna and harvey #edna bricht aus #original art #long post #as in 2.2k words long

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badbobdooley · 16 days

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In the spirit of strangers bothering you -

Bearing in mind my information on 40k comes at removes and osmosis and reading weird AUs: Two possible questions for you, you can pick or chose.

If you could swap a Loyalist Primarch with a Traitor Primarch (i.e. make a loyalist a traitor and a traitor a loyalist) who would it be, and what, if anything, might it change about the state of the Empire in 40k?

What's your favorite random canon detail from 40k that most people don't seem to know?

It’s very difficult to answer the first question because there’s so many different ways measure an ideal result, and what changes you would need to make to get there, but most variations lead towards me saying that I wished that perturabo stayed loyal instead of either ferrus or Vulcan.

Maybe I’m biased but I think that the heresy wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far as it had if perturabo hadn’t carried it like he did. (Plus I think it would be really interesting to see how he and Dorn handled the siege of Terra ((if the heresy even ever got to that point [I don’t believe that it would])))

If I was looking for an interesting imperium comeback story though I would probably say Magnus though. While the heresy wouldn’t have gotten very far if perturabo was loyal, I think that the emperor would have survived the siege of Terra with Magnus loyal. He is canonically the second most powerful psyker in the galaxy, so he would be able to withstand the psychic torture of the golden throne instead of having malcador incinerate his soul.

If I wanted a general chaos victory though I would probably just say the lion. He would have absolutely thrashed the loyalists, no matter who he was swapped out for (this includes perturabo, as much as I wish it wasn’t true).

This is very boring however, so I’d probably say swap Jaghatai Khan for Mortarion. Jaghatai, if I remember correctly, was nurgles first choice for his champion and I’m inclined to believe that he would’ve been better than mortarion. Jaghatai would have only joined willingly, rather than being strong armed into it like mortarion was, thus making him not the absolute sad sack prick that we have now. In addition, he would likely still maintain his impressive speed (it is his entire gimmick) which would be a nice contrast to nurgles slow and inexorable demons which mortarion does complement better, but I enjoy variety in all things. While mortarion complements nurgle in terms of tactics, a chaos Jaghatai would complement nurgle far more in terms of attitude, being the charismatic father of pestilence and the cyclical nature of reality. I also have a burning hatred for death guard after my brother said that he would pay me for painting his army and then denying that he had done so after I finished the job, so my biases may be showing here.

theres also the meme option of swapping konrad and alpharius for maybe dorn and/or guilliman (the exact loyalists don't really matter) so that we can get all the sneaky guys on the same side.

my favorite lore bit is Lho sticks. While the upper crust of society smoke tobac cigars and cigarettes (guess what plant those come from) the average imperial joe, Jane, or j-03 will smoke Lho which is heavily implied to just be weed

#warhammer 40k #warhammer #40k #lore #wh 40k #sorry for the massive wall of text

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anotheroceanid · 2 days

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Oh my gods thank you for answering me I'm about to sleep so I'll annoy you more tomorrow if you keep answering my asks, Kronos thoughts on Percy? Just because of the Rhea dress up series I'm now starting on your ask blog

Don’t worry, it’s nice talking ✌️

Hm… okay, but as I said, Titans can be creepy. (this can be considered a bit darker than the previous snippets, and it gets a bit of titan lore from WTHB, but nothing that counts as an spoiler)

You know these old guys who will look at you and tell you that you look just like their deceased wives? That was Kronos. But at a much younger age, Percy thought it was super normal being compared to a long-recluse titaness.

See, everything was happening so fast ever since he got to camp, that never once he reflected much on the “you look like your grandma” talks. He thought it meant in a “she sided with the Olympians too, now they’re not even on speaking terms with her anymore”, and coming from the guy who ate his kids, Percy wasn’t paying much attention.

Years later, it definitely snapped to him.

Probably talking to one of the other elder titans, he’d come to realise how much Kronos used to really compare him to his former wife. Even in the way he spoke to Percy. Weird. Weird. Weeeeird.

The thing is: after a millennia or two living on Tartarus (and worse, without a body), you don’t end up well. Kronos, all his siblings would confirme, was never in a good place… mentally speaking.

Their father detested him more than he detested anyone else, and in the meanwhile Ouranos worshiped the ground Rhea walked on. And Kronos had a huge, huuuuge crush on her ever since… ever. No need to say that Ouranos was 100% against it, that was his little girl, his favourite, the jewel of his world, one good thing about having kids is that one of these kids were Rhea.

But Rhea liked Kronos too, when he was just that silly guy that made her laugh, so she hoped eventually Ouranos would soften a bit to this potential relationship. Well, it never happened. The whole thing with the coup went on. Rhea could’ve told his father that her mother and brothers were conspiring against him, but turned out she liked Kronos more than she liked their father.

Kronos was very smug about it.

About the time the coup happened, some of the titans were already married. Tethys and Oceanus had a lot of kids already, Hyperion and Theia had Helios and Selene already, and it was just a matter of time before Koios and Phoebe started having kids too. Krios was trying to woo his violent sea lady and Iapetus was doing just alright as a bachelor (until Clymene was born, but that’s an entirely different story), and the other titanesses were still in their “Boys??? Ew!!!” era. So, Rhea and Kronos got together. Everyone knew it’d happen. Happy ending, right?

Nope. As stated before, Kronos never been in a nice mental state. But Rhea loved him very much, and thought Kronos’ turmoil was just a matter of time (yes, a pun) and that he’d be fine sooner than later and would like have kids just as much as Hyperion but a little less than Oceanos (she didn’t want to have that many kids).

Then, she got pregnant. And he ate the baby. Then again. Then again. Then again. Well, we all know the story about how it got to the rock.

But Kronos… not so much. Maybe something deep (as Tartarus) down, he felt bad about it. Maybe he did want to have kids. Maybe he even liked the kids that he had. He made a joke about his daughters’ future weddings on the day Helios got married to Oceanos’ eldest girl, Perseus, who was Kronos’ favourite niece. He spoke about them like they were sitting just beside him, not in the bottom of his stomach. That was terrible. Rhea cried a lot.

So everything to say: Kronos is not very aware of reality as it is. He’s a terrible person (titan, whatever), but he’s also a very confused one. So at the sight of Percy, he didn’t see Percy… At least, not all times. Usually, he’d see Rhea playing in a younger, boyish figure. Sometimes, he’d see his enemy. And sometimes, it’d mix. And if Rhea was a bit wilder, well, he wasn’t exactly the same either, so whatever.

And if if Rhea had loved him more than she loved her father once, maybe it could work again, right?

But Luke didn’t want to cooperate with this part of his plan. Thankfully.

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revlischarm · 1 year

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I have some questions abou the noodle shop ghost au.

Would Morro be someone who when talking about someone, specifically say their physically/mentally tired or would he just say their tired?

You've mentioned Morro being recognised as Macaque's successor by spirits of something (I can't remember). Does that mean he gets Mac's powers? If he does, would Macaque have to seal away some of the powers like Wukong did with MK?

What is PIF's opinion on Morro? You know, with Morro's elemental power and stuff.

Would Morro even recognise the ninja at first when he meets them? You know, with their designs and stuff, when he last saw them they looked like their old designs. Would he recognise their voices (excluding Lloyd)? Would Wu immediately recognise his old student, no matter how much he's changed (physically and mentally)?

Let's say he meets the ninja and the ninja recognise him first, will they attack him out of reflex or something or will they leave it and wait until he does something that gives them reason to attack. Would Kai just immediately pounce of Morro without hesitation? Would Lloyd have a mental breakdown?

Let's say that Morro recognises the ninja first, what would he do? Would he have a mental breakdown or will he just exist the room silently?

What would the reactions of the LMK cast be lik? Would Wu and Macaque have a custody fight over Morro? Would Kai pick a fight with Red Son over "stealing his thing (Which is fire)"? Would Pigsy just look at all the ninja and decide that these are his kids now?

Those are all my questions. For now at least. You don't have to answer all of them but the questions I want answered the most is one and three.

Hooooooo boy. Okay. So.

1. Mentally tired more than anything, it takes a lot to wear Morro down physically—especially since they refuse to admit to such ever.

2. It’s a technicality! He’s technically recognized as Macaque’s, although it’s probably just Heaven trying to mess with Macaque for the fun of it lol. No, he won’t be automatically gaining Mac’s powers, anything Morro learns is something that Mac teaches them. As of season 4, Morro can only manipulate shadows visually, teleport via shadow, hide in shadows (to a small extent) and they’re currently working on figuring out like…shadow attacks. They don’t automatically get all of Mac’s powers. I need more information from whenever season 5 comes out about MK and his whole deal before I do anymore concrete Morro and Mac successor lore stuff.

3. Since I personally love the idea that Mac is sworn siblings with both DBK and PIF, I’m keeping that idea in. Morro and Red Son are cousins. PIF is like an aunt sorta. After the whole LBD stuff/DBK getting possessed that one time, they’re on better terms! Red Son can and will threaten the ninja if they show up that Morro’s under the protection of the Demon Bull family.

But yeah PIF and Morro vibing and you do not want to fight them. Combined, their wind powers are…a whole lot.

4. Morro would definitely recognize them. They’re very recognizable. Although in the fic that’s being worked on (heheheheh thank you coolest friend ever) and in my original ideas, Morro doesn’t meet the ninja first; the ninja end up interacting with the LMK gang beforehand who then realize from Morro’s previous descriptions that these are the Ninja (and because Jay mentions Ninjago) and one of them texts Morro as a forewarning and it really freaks Morro out. More to come on that, hehe.

And yeah they’d recognize Morro, his voice is the same and he’s still. Well. Morro.

5. Lloyd will not be having a mental breakdown because I don’t feel like that would be his reaction to Morro?? A reflexive panic, maybe, but Lloyd is still a ninja through and through. His first line of defense is actual defense. Put up a front of confidence and all that. Although you’re correct to guess that Kai is straight up trying to launch himself at Morro lmao

Although the LMK gang won’t exactly be very pleased about that hehehehe

The girls are fighting, y’all :]

6. Mental breakdown when they receive the text 100000%. Shadow-travels to Mac’s place immediately. Very upset and freaked out.

7. Everyone is fucking battling it out okay no one is safe. Although Wu is back in Ninjago for reasons. Anyways.

There’s gonna be a really awesome fight thing it’ll be great so look forward to hehe

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ask #revlis speaks #nsg #nsg au #noodle shop ghost au #noodle shop ghost

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autisticempathydaemon · 1 year

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For the RedactedAudios match-up!

What song are you fixated on at the moment?

Cease Cesse by Clou and Slim Pickins Does The Right Thing And Rides The Bomb To Hell by The Offspring, maybe True Trans Soul Rebel (classic lol) by Against Me!

What lyric or verse, and why?

From Promiseland by MIKA- "I kept my promise, man, show me the promiseland"

What is your Enneagram type?

Type 8, followed closely by 3.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

Occasionally, if I'm interested in the topic. I like to learn about things. Personal preference is to watch video essays about the process to make something (eg. Weaving, crocheting, sewing) or about history.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

I had a fox as my imaginary friend, but barely remember it.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

On my front with one pillow. If it isn't silent I'll put headphones in to listen to rain noises.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I've changed mine for Trans Reasons! If I changed it again I'd like to choose something more adventurous though.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

Comforted By an Arrogant Incubus and Your Owner Takes Matters Into His Own Hands [Project Meridian]. Gavin's comfort audio is a go-to when I feel down and overwhelmed but I think my favorite lore and audio wise is the latter of my two choices due to the copious metaphors and grey morality of everyone involved.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

Caelum, if he counts. He's just not my type of character. If not, probably Elliott and Vincent, mostly because their storylines don't interest me.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

LOTR probably, or maybe I, Robot? For TV it's definitely Hannibal though.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Mannn, Damien and I would be overachiever besties. I think he'd push me to be my best self and encourage me in my studies.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

Not sure– I don't think so.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

I don't really have a go-to but I like Speedway and 7/11. When I buy drinks (rarely) I usually buy lemonade or fizzy water. If I'm sharing it, I'll get a slushie, and if I'm tired I'll buy a coke but I often find both of those too sweet otherwise.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

Cannot link them for anonymity purposes but it's a chronological playlist for a character's morality change arc over the course of their story.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Mmm, maybe Criminal Minds or reality TV (usually cooking shows, occasionally survivalist ones). I find both of them a bit abhorrent in terms of what they stand for (copaganda, individualism, unexamined colonial co-opting of native aesthetics) but occasionally watch them when I need something which doesn't require a lot of mental energy.

Anything else: I'd consider myself chronically unable to take a break, extroverted, a bit blunt and flirty on accident. Probably socialist or other leftist leanings politically and often fired up about social issues. I care a lot about looks and am always looking to help people around me (unfortunately, sometimes at my own expense). Going into a STEM career. I have a lot of creative hobbies and like working with my hands in my free time.

Thanks for doing this, it's very fun! :)

I’ve said it before, and I’ve said it again. I love to pair a Type Eight with a Type Nine, an extrovert with an introvert, and you know who’s an introverted Type Nine? Lasko heckin’ Moore.

There’s lots of similarities between the two of you that I think makes it work, both big and little things. You’re both trans. (Lasko’s storyline is inherently trans, and Erik himself could not tell me otherwise.) You both love Lord of the Rings and Hannibal. (It’s fun to imagine Lasko having a surprisingly strong mind and stomach for gore despite his nervousness.) You’re both relentlessly passionate about social justice.

In tandem with that, your differences are also why you work so well. Where Lasko hedges and obfuscates, you get straight to the point and speak your mind. Where you, as a Type Eight, might confront and face head on, Lasko mediates and diplomacizes. It’s a wonderfully balanced pair that would keep y’all in check with one another.

Song:

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much/ All of the while I never knew/ All of the while, all of the while/ It was you

I can’t tell you what it is about Lasko, but I just love imagining coffee-shop meet cutes for him. He’d be writing lesson plans or taking notes for his next DnD session. You’d be doing… cool STEM stuff. (I’m a baker; all my science is of the applied, edible kind.) A barista mixes up your drinks, and then boom! Love.

Runner-Ups:

Both you and Aaron have workaholic tendencies, but I could imagine you showing him a creative hobby of your, something handy, would be a lovely bonding experience for the two of you. He seems the type who’d relax better if his hands weren’t idle, you know? Anton, I like because there’s nothing better than a beautiful couple tackling the STEM world together. (I’ve read a lot of Ali Hazelwood; we love a power couple.)

Note: those copaganda shows are surprisingly enjoyable I know

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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taibobo · 1 year

Text

brain damaged postal dude mental illness lore hcs no one asked for and also self ship stuff

he has some kind of dissociative identity disorder, whether it’s DID or OSDD or how many alters he may have is entirely unclear and his levels of amnesia vary wildly depending on his mental state/what his alters were doing/why they fronted

the only alter he’s had contact with/actually recognizes the existence of is alter dude/the other dude (he calls him the other dude, but the alter self identifies as alter dude)

alter dude is pretty self aware of the reason why he exists and holds some significant level of childhood trauma related to postal dude’s father (who in this universe/my hc is the postal 1 postal dude or someone similar. an extremely mentally unstable paranoid man who may have involuntarily taken his delusions out on his kid. american health care is not good) this is why alter dude has the voice of rick hunter

postal dude is fairly pacifist and doesn’t kill people often, while alter dude kills people with only some modicum of discretion, usually when they’re keeping him from or antagonizing him while getting things done. postal dude is somewhat aware of this but has stopped letting it affect him because it doesn’t seem to matter

my s/i (i’m just gonna use first person from here on out lol) was informed at the beginning of the relationship that postal dude has at least one recognizable alter and was just like “oh. okay cool (is also mentally ill)” cause idgaf clearly

i am dating postal dude formally and dating alter dude informally. neither of them care because they consider themselves two parts of a whole and not really separate people. even if they did consider themselves separate identities they are not really the monogamous exclusive type so

alter dude is the less touchy/affectionate of the two, but makes up with it in a lot of false bravado and corny embarrassing dom flirting (he doesn’t know what he’s doing. he doesn’t exactly front during sex or dates and his memories of those aren’t shared mostly so he’s basically a hapless virgin)

postal dude is more physical in terms of his love language, but speaks much more casually and frankly as if i am like his best friend who he makes out with and says he loves. very good chill vibes

sometimes they get mad at each other because they basically operate like roommates who never see each other in terms of living. postal dude complaining about alter dude not washing the dishes or eating his food when he knows he’s been out, alter dude annoyed that postal dude doesn’t do his specific strange neurodivergent rituals, etc. they don’t actually hate each other though they just like to squabble

though dude’s head trauma didn’t give him his dissociative disorder or exacerbate it or anything it probably gave him some sort of physical symptom like chronic migraines or nerve damage. as someone who also has both of these i love projecting ❤️ and also it would make me a good nurse for him ❤️

i call alter dude A.D but he doesn’t like when anyone else calls him that. he just prefers being called dude by everyone else as if he’s the same guy as postal dude because he finds drawing attention to himself causes him more problems (which makes him want to kill which triggers his stuff about his dad which makes him more violent etc etc. negative feedback loop. he’s gotten a little better at grounding himself though)

champ can tell the difference between the two and treats them differently. he’s basically their service dog but without any real formal training. he’s just a smart boy

#postai

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crystalelemental · 1 year

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“books-are-my-life-stuff: Oh, you reminded me. Alola was actually my second favorite region after finishing Pokemon Moon for the first time. Despite the unfair difficulty of Totem fights, I enjoyed the environment, lore, legendaries, and especially characters of Alola. They were great, they felt welcoming, the characters felt very close to me, I love the tradition, and I felt "at home" in Alola.“

That’s fair, I won’t really argue that. I do like the legends and the UBs, and I can get that someone might enjoy it.

“However, Alola now falls to fourth place after playing Ultra Moon only in span of a month after Moon. It's probably my fault, I should have given more time between the two games, but back then I didn't expect 80% of USUM as just rehash of Pokemon Moon, and the changes that USUM made, some are great (the QoL improvements, Hau being more awesome) but some are...not as much personally (Lusamine's character, the Rainbow Rocket postgame).

After some time, the flaws of Alola games for me start to show as I slowly get over the hype. I think it has similar problems as with every games in later gens: they leave other characters severely underdeveloped. Sure, it's not like Kalos where every single character is underdeveloped, but characters that aren't the Aether family are very much overlooked. SwSh fixed that a little bit but Marnie is still underdeveloped compared to Bede and Hop.

As a result, fans tend to focus solely on the developed characters: the Aether family, especially Lillie. Alola characters that aren't Aether family tend to be great as groups but as individuals they don't have much, there are obviously some exceptions like Hau, Kukui, Guzma, but even then they're still underdeveloped compared to Aether family. And the manga of Alola generation doesn't fix this at all, even though the XY version of the manga was great.”

In fairness, a lot of the “third” games tend to just be...mostly the same exact game, so I don’t think that’s what hindered it. Almost the opposite; what they did change just wasn’t changed for the better, like the adjustment to Lusamine or the inclusion of Rainbow Rocket. Other characters have always been fairly under-developed, but I think the problem is that as the games became more story-centric, it starts to hit a little worse. When the games were mostly just straight gameplay with very few stops, it didn’t matter that gym leaders and the like weren’t that well developed. You get a little bit, and you develop from there. But in games where every goddamned route is at least one cutscene, sometimes multiple, it starts to hurt that you don’t actually know much about them. It always especially bothered me in Gen 7 that you don’t actually battle the trial captains. They may as well not even be there. I know there’s supposed to be some what to face off against them, but for the life of me I don’t think I ever figured out how to do it. So I don’t blame anyone for latching on to the few that did get that focus.

Also I’m kinda surprised the manga doesn’t do more. I figured that was one thing I could count on with it. I think the anime involved a lot of the trial captains. I guess if you want character, that’s what you have to go with.

“I dunno, maybe I'm just holding an unreasonably high standard for modern Pokemon games in terms of story and characterization after Unova, which I still consider as the best, but Unova really did a great job in making a lot of characters memorable and relevant to the plot somehow, modern Pokemon games tried but kept failing to do so. If only the focus weren't too much on the Aether family and more balanced, the Alola characters would probably be stronger.

I still like Hau the most among all Alola characters though, despite him being underdeveloped and the manga proves that he still can be sidelined even further than the main games.”

No, I think that’s fair. Considering they did do a good job with the development of a cast with Unova, I think it’s reasonable to expect a bit more from the later games as well. There shouldn’t be any reason for the reduction in quality of what’s produced, and personally I’ll go to my grave blaming the decision to move to 3D models without extending the development cycle. I feel like it’s super easy to track that as soon as they made that shift, things started falling apart in terms of content being cut or not fully fleshed out or recently just kinda not looking great. It’s messy.

#books-are-my-life-stuff

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twiststreet · 1 year

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I had a nice time playing this visual novel called Paranormasight. It’s been a while since there’s been buzz around a game that’s made it sound at all interesting at least for the writing/world/vibe, but this one had a curious buzz around it-- people really struggling to avoid describing the plot, or what made it so compelling for them. So I checked it out and got through it, playing a little bit at a time over the weekend.

I’m not sure I’d have an easy time describing it either, though... It’s a visual novel, but one where choices don’t particularly matter, though-- it has “multiple endings” but you invariably see all of them as you work your way through a pretty linear story. It’s “barely a game”-- you’re mostly clicking through a lot of conversations though it has enough interactive bits and bobs, sort of narrative puzzles, where I’m not just sitting here like “why was that a game???”. But what makes it such a pleasant time is that it has this entertaining introductory sequence, that it’d be grotesque to spoil... but I’m not sure how to describe the premise without ruining the introductory sequence. Especially because the introductory stretch has this old-school-gaming playfulness in terms of how it’s presenting the story, its visual storytelling and its puzzles, which is sort of the primary delight of the piece.

Those qualities diminish as the game goes along (there’s two frustrating puzzles at key points in the back half I had to look up because they rely on seeing something that are way too hard to pick out, where they really fall down visually-- frustrating!). But I liked the story? Genrewise, it’s a Japanese supernatural murder mystery set in the 1980′s, with detectives and psychic schoolgirls and grossness and all that stuff. It’s very pulpy. There’s something Argento-ish about how the Japanese can present murders as this kind of unbelievable rupture in the order of things-- we can’t really do that cause we do so much murder in the United States, comparatively, but it makes for curious viewing, I guess. Sometimes it goes up its own ass with lore-dumps, or I wouldn’t call it “scary” (I felt like the writer-director showed that he could be doing scary interesting things early in the game and then it felt like he held back as things went on), but... it held my attention.

I’d been in the mood for some kind of anime something for the last couple months-- just one of those moods, but I couldn’t find anything before that’d scratch it. This kind of did it enough, especially in the way the character designs are very fun and broad? (Kotaku says the character designer is a “legendary” guy from those Kingdom Hearts games, but I don’t know that stuff). I’m 100% one of those “the Japanese are better at comics than we are” people (because they are; it’s not even close; come on), but ... people just dress well, or in ways that create character, in Japanese stuff, among their other virtues. I’ve been over there, though, and a lot of people were just dressed really generally well, though, just in life, too! I dunno what that was about. But in this game, I just liked how one of the psychic schoolgirls just had a pentagram floating in her hair. Or how one of the detectives (probably everyone’s favorite character) was just like a hipster cowboy...? I like that visual broadness-- I like my cartoon characters to be cartoony. I kind of hate when they’re not...

I don’t really have a good frame of reference though to judge Japanese visual novels, having only played this and two out of three of the Danganronpa games (which are pretty different). (Oh and like the first hour or two of the Kojima Lethal Weapon-in-Space game). It’s an interesting form to me, though, especially just on a ... on the level of them having this whole thing where their nerds can go big on a story or guys like Kojima can cut their teeth, that we don’t really have an equivalent of, not really. (AGS/Sierra/Lucasarts style games is as close as we got and those are very different to me).

Anyways, yeah: cute game; but one where the game doesn’t quite live up to the promise of the opening stretch. I want to see this director take the lessons of this one and push harder on a follow-up... Or get some kind of Kojima-syle treatment where we can see what they’d do outside of the visual novel, if he could bring that same playfulness to another genre...

TLDR Richter’s my favorite character, too.

#paranormasight

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mozillavulpix · 2 years

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Xenoblade 3 spoilers, I Just Beat The Main Story edition

The final boss was long and frustrating because of no checkpoints, but the ending was solid. If leaving me a bit wanting for more

At least in terms of the lore stuff.

Anyway, let me give myself answers from my earlier posts

Things we still don’t know:

- what the fuck this world truly is in the first place

This got explained. The worlds of Xenoblade 1 and 2 were gonna crash into each other and cause an extinction event from it, so they worked together to make some arc and loaded all the data of 1 and 2 onto it. But then the combined consciousnesses of the people there didn’t want to move forward in case they really all do disappear, and that became Moebius, who hijacked the system and trapped everyone in an eternal cycle free from time

- how it ties into Xenoblade 1/2

answered above

- what the fuck moebius and ouroboros are

So Moebius is like the manifestation of humanity’s desire to remain stagnant and not move forward. Ouroboros...is some kind of power Nia makes somehow, but I can kind of get it now - it’s like it’s using the energy of the annihilation effect when ‘matter’ and ‘antimatter’ collide. Hence why if they stay in it too long they cancel each other out and explode

- what’s so special about Noah’s sword and why does he have it. I had thought...Riku made it? Unless Riku is some kind of Conduit/Aegis thing like Alvis in the first game, and is just pretending to be a Nopon.

According to my research Melia made the sword, but idk why Noah has it (and N too) or why Riku had it. Still not sure if Riku is sus or not. Probably is

#xenoblade chronicles 3 #xb3 #spoilers

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blackbird-brewster · 1 year

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Here goes another one (I honestly love your rants) what do you think will happen with Trebecca? (that the ship name right?)

Yes good! I'm glad someone enjoys my long fandom-lore drops!!

Tebecca is all I care about in terms of the reboot. Literally, all I want to see is Rebecca and Tara being cute and in love. LET ME SEE A GAY KISS ON CRIMINAL MINDS, YOU COWARDS!!!

Here's what I think might happen (and let me say up front I fucking hate this, but considering how well I predicted what the reboot would be like..... I will probably be, best case: half-right, worst case: completely right)

Rebecca will become an important ally to the BAU by feeding them information about how to bring down Bailey (is that the dude's name??? I really don't care about this twerp. I'm going to call him Bailey for this post) Rebecca will give them updates and the insider info that helps them outsmart Bailey so that Emily can do her job and keep the team together/ bring back the BAU in order to hunt down the 'serial killer network'.

I think there will be some sort of conflict between Tara/Rebecca at some point. Who knows what the argument is about but there will be a little tension for whatever reason. I'd guess like maybe Tara feels Rebecca overstepped or maybe Rebecca questions something the BAU does. No matter the reason, there will be a bit of frustration with each other at some point. Especially when we look at this comment from Aisha :

“I don’t think [Tara] does relax,” Tyler admits with a laugh. “One of the things I love about Lewis is that she’s a workaholic because I’m a workaholic. … I think she finds the work energizing. She is in a relationship, and I think that’s been a real surprise for her. I don’t think she was really looking for one. She’s been happy to be devoted to the work, but I don’t think that Lewis has any chill whatsoever. Work is how she relaxes, and I think you’re gonna see that that might have a problematic impact on her relationship going forward.” (Aisha Tyler - TV Insider)

I think what we DO get to see of Tara and Rebecca will be super sanitised and pared back. Like 'G-rated' type relationship stuff. I dunno if we'll even see them kiss tbrh. Even though we've already had to suffer through heavy Willifer

Now here's the prediction I DESPERATELY want to be wrong about, but I know I'm probably right.... Rebecca is going to be put in peril. Best case? She gets fired for feeding the BAU information, or some other type of reprimand. Worst case? Physical danger, like being abducted/hurt/killed.

Why? Bc Criminal Minds VERY rarely introduces a romantic partner of a main character that DOESN'T get put in some type of peril. Why can't we just have this ONE thing?? Can't we just have a happy and wholesome queer relationship without using Rebecca has a plot device to cause Tara pain???????? (Fingers fucking crossed Rebecca survives the season tbrh)

#criminal minds #cm evolution #cm spoilers #tara lewis #rebecca wilson #tebecca #jemily-in-paris #reply post #cm meta #predictions

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hanarchy · 2 years

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1,3,5,9,10,11,17,23,27 😸💕

hi ale!!! sorry for being so late with this but i loooove to ramble and wanted to take some time with this 💕💕

1. favorite artist(s) outside of kpop?

aahh ok. my favorite band since i was like 14 is arctic monkeys, though i hate saying it these days bc people only know post-2014 arctic monkeys and my favorite band is pre-2012 arctic monkeys… post-2014 AM is like… ok but not great :/

i love kehlani, the killers, florence and the machine, rina sawayama, sufjan stevens, mitski, bruce springsteen, i still listen to 1D sometimes and to niall horans solo albums, the internet and syds solo stuff and i do tend to check out a lot of popular artists and sometimes those stick like i love some megan thee stallion songs and older doja cat stuff

3. who got you into kpop?

answered here 🥰

5. what are your favorite and least favorite concepts?

answered here 💕

9. do you see yourself enjoying kpop for a long time?

i really do actually! i expect for it to die down a bit over time and it of course depends on what my faves put out and how the music, the industry and the ‘genre’ evolves but i really just enjoy it a whoooole lot and i’ve found and continue to find so many groups and niches i enjoy. though i really don’t anticipate anything capturing me as much as skz has ever again, they really have my heart and no matter how much i explore other groups, none of them have even come remotely close…

10. if you got to work with any idol (producing, performing, choreographing, etc) one time, who would you pick?

oooooooooo thats such a good question and IMPOSSIBLE to answer. but i think one of the mamamoo members would be really cool. they just all seem like real pros and very diligent and humble but also confident in their work and abilities and that’s such a good combination for creative work. i’d love to try my hand at directing an mv like moonbyul and seori’s shutdown or maybe help hwasa develop her solo lore and concepts. i’m also pretty close in age to all of them so i think we’d probably gel just about as well as i could with any k-pop idol…

11. zodiac sign?

aries sun, aries moon, aries rising, aries mercury… it’s really so tragic. i’m like hoshi

17. favorite eye color on someone else?

dark brown or just dark eyes. i just don’t love light eyes, idk why but they kinda freak me out sometimes. a few people (like logan lerman😞) get a pass tho…

23. what is your love language?

answered here 💗

27. do you believe in second chances?

yes absolutely. i also believe in third and fourth and fifth chances tbh… i could never be so categorical as to say ‘you only get one chance’ or sth. it heavily depends on circumstances and on how i feel. it depends on if i feel i can ever trust the person again or if i genuinely believe they’ve changed or are willing to. it’s been a good policy for me so far. i have a lot of long term friends that i feel very loved by because of it. i’ve also cut some people off and didn’t give them another chance.

it’s really not that black and white for me, i don’t think i have the willpower for that but also i don’t want to have the willpower. i won’t deny myself people i want to be around bc of rules like this. i also won’t be around people i don’t want to be around bc i feel i have to give second chances, if that makes sense? i just go with how i feel in the moment. and that’s usually to give them another chance and maybe try to understand them better in the process…

k-pop asks 🤷🏻‍♀️

#ale #really honestly thank u so much for sending these #ask me

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