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strwbmei · 1 month

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Matchup Event

Matchup for: @schendsal

Matchups: Yukong, Bronya, Eula

Contains: fluff, smut, male reader, breeding (Yukong), creampie mentions (Yukong), mentions of lactation (Yukong), breast play (Yukong and Bronya), marking (Bronya), semi-public sex (Eula), implied masturbation (Eula), blowjob (Eula)

A/N: Sorry for taking so long! Honestly, it was Yukong's part that took the longest because there was a bunch of stuff I had to confirm with the lore and then I ended up changing most of it by the time I was almost finished. Hope you like it, though!

Ask:

Congratulations on reaching 1,000 followers, I hope you continue to grow more and more!

Personality-wise I tend to be an ambivert.

Around close friends I'm the one in the group who's always cracking jokes or saying the most mind-numbingly stupid things. I do this to make them laugh and keep their spirits high, since I know that life can be pretty stressful for everyone. If that stress gets to be too much, then I'm happy to hear out their troubles and lend them a shoulder for support. I might not be able to solve their problems, but I want to be a source of strength for them at the least.

Outside my friend group I become a lot more closed off. Instead of goofing off, I'm told I become diligent and considerate of others. I like to make sure school assignments are completed ahead of time so my group can review it and help other groups if they become stuck. Though I usually end up as the group lead, I don't like to lead by force. Instead I prefer to let my team play to their strengths, and I'll make up the weaknesses as we go along. A happy team is a good team after all!

This doesn't mean I'm not without my flaws. I can be really immature at times, and I get depressed if I feel like I'm holding others back or can't perform at the high standard I set for myself. When this happens I usually close myself off from others and listen to music until I feel better. I can get competitive when it comes to things I'm passionate about, but not to the point of lashing out at others.

In terms of hobbies I have a few outside of games. I like reading, cooking for others, listening to music, and cheesy romance novels. I sketch a bit too, but I'm not very good at it, haha. I'm the type to take a lot of interest in my partners hobbies, and I'd probably bug them a bunch about it.

For the ask, I'd like a mix of SFW and NSFW with whomever I'm paired with. Sadly the only fandoms I'm familiar with are Honkai: Star Rail and Genshin Impact. Grinding for those two eats up most of my spare time, so I haven't gotten to try the others. The scenario could be a festival date or comforting one another after a long day of work. But if inspiration strikes you, feel free to write what you please!

I'm a heterosexual dominant, so I suppose I wouldn't want to be paired up with any of the men. (Fine as they may be). Intimacy for me is more about the connection than being extreme with it, and I take pride in providing my partner with pleasure. For my own tastes, I am into breeding, sleepy sex, semi-public sex, oral (giving & receiving), and breast play.

Yukong

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ No one would've guessed that you two were in a relationship, especially with how you two act in the workplace. In fact, everyone thought Yukong disliked you due to the high standard she always held you to when that was only because she knew she could count on you.

: ̗̀➛ That said, your relationship wasn't a secret. Yukong wasn't exactly the type to be all clingy and affectionate in public, much less while on the job, so everyone dismissed it as a joke whenever you called her your wife. They just thought you were one of those guys who liked getting treated harshly. Safe to say they were floored when they saw Yukong giving you a kiss on the cheek before heading into the building.

: ̗̀➛ She may have been an ace pilot who could calmly conquer the battlefield in any situation, but she couldn't help but feel nervous introducing you to Qingni. Yukong was extremely relieved that the two of you got along. Though, much to her detriment, you bonded over pulling silly pranks on her when she least expected them.

: ̗̀➛ Domestic life with Yukong couldn't be any better. She's responsible for her share of chores and helps you out whenever she can. Both her and Qingni are also a joy to cook for because you can easily see the way their eyes light up once they take the first bite.

: ̗̀➛ Once a month, without fail, the three of you clear your schedule to have a picnic trip together. Most of the time, you're the one who cooks all of the food while Yukong is the one who sets everything up. Once you're done eating, the three of you often opt to fly kites or catch up with each other. Both activities give Yukong a lot of comfort.

: ̗̀➛ Your relationship with her feels like home. In a future full of uncertainties and doubt, you find respite within each other. You might have disagreements every now and then, but they only make your bond and trust in the other person even stronger.

"Dear, could you pass me the salt, please?"

"Mm. Here you go."

"..."

"..." It's been a little bit longer than an hour since you first got home. You and Yukong didn't fight or anything, but the awkwardness is killing you. It's obvious that both of you have had a tiring day, even more so than usual.

The dining room is filled with soft, yet sharp sounds of tableware, and you're the first to actually try to break this uncomfortable silence. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Yukong." She nods and sighs. "I know, it's just... I've never been good with words."

Annnnnd it's back to that same soundlessness again. Not another word from either of you until you're in bed together. "I apologize for always treating you so harshly at work." She suddenly speaks up, turning to face you.

"It's nothing personal. Besides, I wouldn't want to get special treatment just because I'm your partner. What brought this on?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing in particular. I've just been really stressed with work lately, and I don't wish to cause any for you."

"Not at all. I know you only do that because you trust me." You smile, brushing a stray strand of hair from her forehead.

"Because you're one of the few I can depend on. You're always doing your best, and I'm proud of you for it."

"Yeah. Thank you, Yukong."

"I just want you to know that you can depend on me too. You don't have to shoulder everything on your own."

"..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Breeding. Breeding. Breeding. It's quite literally all that's on her mind whenever the two of you make love. You could say that it's because of her genes or heat cycles, but Yukong can't deny that she's always wanted to have little pups to care for.

: ̗̀➛ She doesn't even care if she cums as long as you promise to stuff her full by the end of it. Of course, you'd never be so cruel, but it just goes to show how she'll gladly do anything to get you to breed her thoroughly.

: ̗̀➛ To Yukong, it doesn't matter whether she's on top or bottom. While she'd be grateful if you did most of the work, she's also perfectly willing to put in effort to get what she wants. Whether it be in her career or in bed, it's a whole different feeling of satisfaction to get what you've worked so hard for.

: ̗̀➛ Yukong isn't very vocal in bed, but that doesn't mean she isn't feeling good. It's quite the opposite, actually. You know you've got her good when she's biting her lip, nails digging into whatever part of you she can reach as her cunt clamps down hard on you.

: ̗̀➛ Despite never actually have given birth before, Yukong has the ability to lactate. You don't even have to play with her breasts to get her to— she'll lactate a good bit just from having an orgasm. Playing with her nipples certainly helps, though.

: ̗̀➛ Call her vanilla, but Yukong dislikes using toys in bed. She thinks they're a waste of time and prefers to get straight into the action. She won't mind using them on you if you want her to, but when it comes to herself, she'd much rather you pound her silly instead of wasting your energy on vibrators and the like.

You're in the kitchen, on your way to start making breakfast. You woke up early, and what better use of your time to make Yukong a nice meal? Currently, she's in your shared room, getting some much needed rest.

Or so you thought until you saw her standing by the doorframe wearing nothing but one of your dress shirts. "Good morning, Yukong. What do you think of pancakes for breakfast?" You smile at her, on your way to grab your apron.

You're quickly stopped in your tracks when Yukong suddenly stumbles, almost falling to the ground. "Yukong! Are you alright?" She shakes her head. "My love... I need your help."

You're worried and confused for a moment before you look down to see her thighs sticky with her fluids.

Oh.

You gulp. "I understand. Don't worry, I'll take care of you." Your hands make their way to the buttons of her shirt, and you're able to feel just how hot her body is beneath it. Even more so than during her usual heat cycles.

You leave kisses along her neck, collarbones, and her now exposed chest, but it seems Yukong doesn't want that. Her mind is hazy, and her lust for you only worsens by the second.

She takes your hand, guiding it to her dripping cunt,and you can feel just how much she needs you. Yukong looks at you with dazed eyes, "There's no need for you to be such a gentleman. I'm... really not in the mood for teasing right now."

Bronya

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Bronya loved being the Supreme Guardian. Truly, she did—but loving something doesn't mean she's always happy to do it. She was glad to help her people and take on their burdens, but the dark circles under her eyes spoke for themselves as did her obvious fatigue.

: ̗̀➛ Every day felt like an endless cycle of document after document until you came into her life. Everybody else felt it wasn't their place to try to assist Bronya with her duties, and you were the only one who made an effort to help.

: ̗̀➛ Seeing the cup of coffee on her desk with a small note always gives Bronya the strength she needs to push through the day because she immediately knows who it's from. The coffee is made just how she likes it, at just the right temperature. It's a secret that she won't tell even you, but she keeps all of those post-its you leave in a drawer and looks through them whenever she misses you.

: ̗̀➛ Even with a busy lifestyle, she tries to make as much time for you as she can and comes home into your arms as early as possible. Sure, fancy dates might not always be feasible, but can it really get better than cuddling with each other as you fall asleep?

: ̗̀➛ She doesn't want to reveal your relationship to the public until you're married, but everyone can clearly see that the two of you have something going on. The way she smiles when she's with you is completely different.

: ̗̀➛ Overall, they're just glad that their Supreme Guardian isn't overworking herself as much. Everyone tells her to rest, but you're the only one that she isn't as stubborn with.

Cocolia Rand, her mother. Cocolia Rand, the Supreme Guardian.

Since when did the line start to blur? Perhaps such a "line" did not exist in the first place. Perhaps she deliberately chose to ignore the undeniable signs of impending catastrophe. And yet, what did that lead to?

It's already been a year, but her nightmares repeat like clockwork all the same. Just when she thinks she's come to accept what happened, memories much too vivid come back to haunt her.

Bronya jolts awake in a cold sweat. She tries to draw breath, but air fails to enter her lungs. It feels as if they've closed themselves; as if this were punishment for her ignorance.

"Bronya... Bronya!" You call out to her. Seeing you has eased the aching in her heart ever so slightly, and finally, she can breathe.

Bronya hadn't shed a single tear since that day; she vowed to herself and to her mother that she wouldn't. Yet, without realizing it, a stream of them makes their way down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me so suddenly..." Bronya sniffles, wiping her tears. You pull her into a tight hug, and she gladly takes the opportunity to hide her face in your neck. She doesn't want you to see her like this.

"It's okay. It'll all be alright. I'm here for you."

Just like that, something inside of Bronya shatters. All of the anger and sadness she's felt for so long, all at once. She bursts into tears and sobs into your shirt. "You've been so brave, haven't you?"

Almost an hour passes as you comfort her, and she finally starts to calm down. She pulls away, looking up at you with puffy, tear-stained eyes. "There's nothing left. I've lost everything." You muster up the warmest smile you can manage and bring a hand up to caress her cheek. "You're wrong, Bronya. There is still something left." "A chance to take everything back."

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Bronya is the most submissive person to walk this universe EVER. The human embodiment of the phrase "you tell me to jump, I ask how high." She'll do whatever you want as soon as you say the word because making you feel good makes her feel good.

: ̗̀➛ Considering the type of person you are, sex with Bronya is almost like a competition of pleasuring the other person more. She's very good at turning you on, but she's way too tired to do much most of the time. Bronya still tries, of course, but you always end up winning this little "competition" of yours.

: ̗̀➛ She's such a big baby in a way that just makes you want to spoil her rotten. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, you name it— she'll cling onto you every chance she gets. The sweet thing just has to touch you, and you could never bring yourself to deny her.

: ̗̀➛ Her moans are so pretty, too! They're drawn-out and breathy, growing louder as she nears her orgasm. She tries not to be too loud, but it just feels too good sometimes. One side of you wants to make her scream your name loud enough for everyone else to hear, while the other wants to keep her cute sounds all to yourself.

: ̗̀➛ Scratches a lot, but the marks aren't too deep thanks to her nails always being perfectly filed. She doesn't leave hickeys (much) as she's more of the type to leave soft, quick kisses wherever she can reach. Bronya can't help feeling guilty seeing the red lines she made on your back, though. There are many other ways she can mark you as hers, after all. She doesn't want to hurt you.

"My love..." Bronya sighs dreamily, feeling your hands trail up her body. Your warmth provided her comfort to get through the night, and truly, that was the only thing she sought from you before all of this began.

A kiss. That was all it took for lust to plant itself in your hearts.

She tilted her head, and you gladly took the chance to leave soft kisses along her neck. Your fingers traced her body; down to her her hips, back up to her breasts, and finally, they found themselves playing with her nipples.

"Mmh..." Bronya groaned, leaning into your touch. You hum in response, rolling the buds on your fingers. "Beautiful girl." A soft, yet sudden pinch makes her gasp and arch her back. "Love you so much..."

Your warmth was no longer enough. Bronya wanted more; wanted you. You made her feel like the greediest woman in Belobog, and for some reason, she loved it. "Please, I want you."

Halting your movements, you gently flip her over so that you're on top of her. You take the hand covering her mouth and kiss the inside of her wrist. "Then, you will have me. I'm all yours."

Is lust just another fragment of love or an impurity that taints it? Is Bronya your adored muse, or your most beloved sin?

Eula

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Honestly, the two of you didn't quite get along at first. She wasn't outright uncooperative when the two of you went on missions, but you could feel how strangely distant she was being for seemingly no reason. You only broke the ice once you invited her to a drink to celebrate finishing a particularly difficult mission together.

: ̗̀➛ She's never had someone willingly accompany her, much less invite her to a bar, so she ended up talking your ear off as she vented her frustrations about the discrimination she faced just for her last name. While her family has done some messed up stuff, that isn't necessarily her fault. She's just a normal girl.

: ̗̀➛ No one could've expected it, but the first thing you discovered you had in common with the infamous Spindrift Knight was your love for cheesy romance novels. How you found out? You were both drunk. You started reciting the cringiest dialogue you could remember from them, and Eula continued the lines after you.

: ̗̀➛ Even though you first got to really know her while drinking with her, Eula only really shows her true self once she's alone with you. She's the gentlest, kindest, most compassionate woman you've ever met. You wonder if the rest of Mondstadt were blind to not see Eula beyond her being a Lawrence, but really, she's only this vulnerable when she's with you.

: ̗̀➛ Marriage in particular is one of her biggest fantasies. There's just something really romantic to her about being so... deeply connected to each other. Eula always thought it'd be impossible for someone like her, yet, here you are. You accept her and all her flaws with open arms. She's so used to blazing flames to the point that your gentle warmth feels so alien. It's not a feeling she's used to, but that doesn't mean that she won't cherish it.

: ̗̀➛ Speaking of marriage, Eula would prefer to take your last name. She's not running away from her family's actions; much less is she trying to clear their name. Eula knows that what they've done is unforgivable. A name is what makes up a good part of your identity. It's what people will remember you as and it's who you are to them. Bearing your last name makes her feel like she's taking a part of you with her wherever she goes no matter how much time passes, and that gives her indescribable comfort.

Eula never liked the Windblume festival. No, Eula hated the Windblume festival.

Why wouldn't she? Everything was so noisy. Even during the day, taverns were filled with drunks merrily getting wasted. There were fewer commissioners, which left more work for her to do.

It didn't help that the Windblume Festival also symbolized the downfall of the Lawrence clan.

Festivity filled Mondstadt's winds, and any form of participation from her earned nothing but more scorn from the townspeople she works so hard to protect.

Although Eula had you this time around, she didn't want to keep you from enjoying the festival just because she couldn't participate.

Alas, she forgot to consider one thing: It's you who knows her best. You know that she wants to celebrate just like everybody else. So if she can't go to the festival, why not bring the festival to her instead?

Maybe you can't exactly replicate the festive atmosphere and the little games, but that wasn't going to stop you. The essence of the Windblume Festival doesn't lie in high-quality wine and fancy ceremonies, but in showing your loved ones that you care.

Eula had her suspicions when you suddenly took her on a date saying you "knew a spot," but she didn't expect to see a secluded place in the forest filled to the brim with dandelions.

"So? What do you think?" You smile at her, pride filling you once you see how awestruck she is. It's not often she's so surprised. "It's... beautiful." Eula replies. The softness of her voice as she says this is one she shows only to you.

After a moment passes, you take a deep breath. "You're everything to me," you pick a dandelion, presenting it to her with a confident smile on your face. "more precious than the very air I breathe..."

It's her favorite line from her favorite novel. To other people, it might not make sense, but she remembers it vividly and she's glad that you do, too. She can't help but chuckle as she takes the flower from your hand.

"Or the chocolates I love." She continues. Honestly, it sounds more cheesy rather than romantic in real life, but she can't stop herself from smiling like an idiot. After all, she always viewed those books as nothing more than a mere fantasy.

"You'll always be my treasure."

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Great would be an understatement to describe your sex life with Eula. She's flexible, has seemingly endless stamina, and her hips work wonders. Not to mention she has the most attractive body you've seen and an even more attractive face to go along with it.

: ̗̀➛ Eula is neither dominant nor submissive. She does things her own way, based on whatever she feels like doing at a given moment. If Eula wants to ride you, she'll ride you. If she wants to give you head, she'll give you head and vice versa. Eula is just focused on making the both of you feel good.

: ̗̀➛ She's fine with mostly anything as long as she can see your face during sex. If not that, then at least to feel your hands somewhere on her. Eula might not look like the type, but she's inexperienced with all of this and she just needs to see that you're the one making her feel so good.

: ̗̀➛ Eula denies it, but she loves the risk of semi-public sex. It gets her heartbeat rising and adrenaline pumping. Everything about it from having to keep quiet to the chance of being caught in such an explicit act turns her on.

: ̗̀➛ She's surprisingly shy in bed though, especially during your first time. She becomes all cute and focused, trying her best not to mess anything up. Eula becomes more daring and bold as time passes, but hearing reassurance and praise from you is always appreciated.

: ̗̀➛ Riding you is her favorite thing to do. The position you're in gives both of you just the right amount of control. She doesn't have to move much for it to feel good either, just feeling your cock grind against her walls has her biting her moans back.

"I understand that I'm attractive, but do you always have to be so... easily roused?" Eula looks up at you, a shade of pink spotting her cheeks and eyes full of annoyance.

Okay, maybe this was partly her fault since she's been putting herself in provocative positions in front of you, but she only expected a bit of fun once you got home.

She certainly wasn't expecting to suck you off in a random alleyway where you could easily be caught.

"Eula, you really don't have to..." You sigh. Admittedly, this whole situation was really turning you on, but you didn't want to force her into doing anything she didn't want to do nonetheless.

"You really think I'd let you walk home with such an obvious boner?" She glares. She did have a point— ignoring it would just bring both of you embarrassment. "Just... make sure to finish quickly. This place reeks..."

Nimble hands work to quickly undo your pants and free your aching cock. Eula would much rather take her time in the comforts of your home, but the situation just doesn't allow for that.

Not even a second later, you can feel her lips wrapped around the tip, working its way down your length eagerly. Every inch that isn't in her mouth is being carefully handled by her hands.

It takes all of your strength to keep quiet as she moves her tongue exactly how you like it. "Fuck... Eula..." You groan. When you start softly tugging at her hair and bucking your hips, she knows you're near your orgasm.

What really brought you over the edge was the sight of Eula grinding on her own hand as she sucked you off. Warm cum fills her mouth, and she swallows all of it. "Geez, you're gonna make a mess..." She complains.

Seeing the wet patch on her shorts, you know that you'll have to finish what you started.

#strwb event #strwb smut #strwb fluff #honkai star rail #hsr #genshin impact #x reader #smut #fluff #eula #eula lawrence #genshin eula #yukong #yukong hsr #bronya #bronya rand #bronya hsr

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tinselxoxo26 · 2 years

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𝓐𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓞𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓥 🍃

[Note: I'm not a professional astrologer so please don't take these personally if it doesn't resonate with you, this post is about tropical astrology. Tbh this has been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now lol. Hope y'all enjoy reading this long post! ]

Part 4

🪴 Pisces Mercury could be known as someone who likes to randomly sing whether it's at school or in public, as Mercury rules Gemini & Virgo which could represent education or daily lives.

🪴 People who consider becoming a teacher as a career has their Saturn conjunct MC, or Saturn - MC aspects, or 10H/Capricorn placements, Saturn - ASC aspects. It makes sense since Saturn represents authority figures.

🪴 Scorpio Mercury are ruthless when it comes to roasting people when they have to, otherwise they tend to be selective with their words.

🪴 Cancer placements/Moon dominants people might like lullaby or songs that gives off a lullaby feeling or nostalgic vibes

🪴 Your dominant planets in the signs & houses can tell you who you attract/attracted to like your friendships (degree also applies)

[Example: You're a Sun dominant & your sun is in Taurus in the 10H at 12 degree. You could attract/attracted to Taurus placements/2H placements/Venus doms, Capricorn placements/10H placements/Saturn doms, Pisces placements/12H placements/Neptune or Jupiter doms, or Leo placements/5H placements/Sun doms.]

🪴 Mercury in the 12H might find it hard to fall asleep, the 12H represents the subconscious & what is the subconscious related to? Sleep. Mercury is the planet of the overthinker, so the native who has this placement will overthink at night & find it hard to fall asleep.

🪴 We usually see Jupiter representing husband in a female's chart but what about Mars? I feel like Mars in a female's natal chart is so underrated when it comes to crushes specifically male crushes.

[Example: Cancer Mars, having a crush on cancer men or men who have traits of cancer (nurturing, loving, caring, knowing how to cook etc.) The house & the degree it's in is still as important]

🪴 Having asteroid Juno in the 12th house indicates someone being a hopeless romantic.

🪴 Having your asteroid Juno conjunct other person's planets in the 1st house in synastry chart indicates that you see them as a marriage material and you want to be in a relationship with them.

🪴 Having asteroid Varuna conjunct the sign of your MC (Midheaven) mean that you could get well known in that field/workplace.

[Example: Varuna conjunct Taurus MC, Taurus deals with food related things, you could be well known for working in a restaurant, a chef, a waiter etc.]

🪴 Just a theory, the sign your asteroid Varuna sits in your natal chart can tell the people around you that might/already be famous.

[Example: Varuna in Capricorn, your father/authority figures could be well known in their workplace or your male friends could be well known in the future. ]

🪴 People with vertex aspecting their venus especially Venus conjunct Vertex might have been offered to do modelling before or offered to do with anything related to venus themes (makeup, beauty, decorations etc.)

🪴 I've seen people with default Lilith in 2H in Virgo/Gemini can make someone struggle with their self worth a lot to the point where they would hide themselves in their home & never wanting to come out; since Virgo is ruled by Mercury & it's related to thinking process, in their mind they would judge themselves quite harshly. It's even worse if they have their Lilith in Virgo/Gemini degrees. (I hope ppl with this placement are doing okay ❤️)

🪴 Having asteroid Talent in the 1st house in asteroid Webb persona chart could indicate that you like to show off your talent on social media.

🪴 While having asteroid Aphrodite in the 1st house of Webb persona chart could indicate that you like to incorporate venusian themes on social media. For example, music, poetry, art, makeup, beauty, flowers etc.

🪴 Having a Scorpio Ascendant in Webb persona chart indicates that you like to keep things private in social media like putting your Instagram on private.

Asteroid codes:

Juno (3) | Webb (3041)

Aphrodite (1388) | Talent (33154)

Varuna (20000) | Vertex

🪴 Men with Cancer Mercury could be seen as someone cute during their primary years or age 7-14 years or seen as someone who likes to hang out with female groups.

🪴 Men with Virgo Mars are seen to be serviceable to his guy friends or someone who can be a pushover-

🪴 Men with Cancer Venus are seen to be popular/desirable with females.

🪴 Ik this is specific but I can't help but to notice how men with Aries Sun & Moon can blush really easily or turn red easily, like the whole face can turn red really easily.

🪴 Men with Gemini Mars could have an interest with guitars as Gemini deals with the body part of hands & arms, guitar involves with hands & arms.

🪴 This is just a thought but the sign & houses the Moon & Venus is in for men can represent the type of woman he befriends with.

[Example: Capricorn Moon, befriends with older woman, or woman who are mature/serious etc.}

Thank you for reading up until this point, make sure to stay tune for the next post, love y'all 💕

~ 𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑥𝑜𝑥𝑜26 🌸✨ ll masterlist

[ Pics credit: Pinterest ]

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rageprufrock · 8 months

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Hi Pru, this is a career question... I am in my mid-twenties, female, not quite the most junior employee at my organization but treated often as one. The workplace is highly male-dominated, competitive, the older supervisors sometimes hilariously old-boys'-club, and the younger men (my age) mean well (feminist, etc.) but have their own territories to defend. For complicated reasons I cannot leave. I knew some of this coming in but am ashamed to say that

You’ll love this: my response is so late because I too girlbossed too close to the sun and have accidentally reached mid-senior leadership status at my organization and the past month has been the most hilarious cluster of fucks. Insert clown emoji herey.

ANYWAY.

I have a few thoughts on this one, and hopefully one, or some, of these are helpful as you're navigating your early career.

To address your most immediate question: is it meant to be this hard? I think "is it meant" or "is it always" are two different questions, and each with branching answers completely dependent on your field and profession. Some are notorious for early career hazing--banking, medicine, etc--and then the answers are that the suffering is a feature, not a bug, for these industries (this can be debated ad nauseum but you know what I mean), and then for many, many other professions, the answer is that while it's not meant to be this difficult, it still is, and that it's all we can do to survive it.

But setting aside the macro issues, of whether the role itself is objectively hard or if the environment you're in is objectively sub-optimal, the more nebulous and inescapable thing is that each one of us, individually, in our early career are undergoing one of many puberties and all its attendant implied indignities. I find it weird that culturally we don't talk about this much--at least not in Western or the Eastern cultures with which I'm most conversational--but think about it: in the first five to ten years of your working life, you're often simultaneously navigating a staggering number of life-changing systemic shifts that have a tectonic impact on your lived experience. I

For a lot of us, beginning your life as a working adult means you're likely moving out of your parents' home, which adds a huge amount to your mental load and financial burden.

For a lot of us, these early professional jobs are also the first time we're operating in a performance-reward system for which there is no clear rubric or understandable progression monitoring--there aren't any grades, and I can't tell you the number of people who I've spoken to in my career who have been shocked when they're told they're being put on performance improvement plans even though they thought they were doing fine.

It's like being sent to college with no class list, textbooks hidden in eight different departments run by varyingly helpful people, while trapped in an inescapable group project run by someone who seems just as frazzled as you are, and told "okay well you should need to bring me your completed degree by EOD Thursday." This doesn't even take into account your genetic assignment to play this entire game on hard mode by failing to be a cisgendered man in the dominant cultural demographic.

People who've had multiple jobs and career changes can attest, every new job, no matter how seasoned you are, is fucking exhausting. It's almost a joke among my friends at this point how often I change jobs, and every single time I do, there's at least a six month run where at the end of every day, I'm fucking spent. I couldn't calculate 1+3 if my life depended on it, because I've spent my working day so furiously trying to read the professional tea leaves and figuring out what the actual fuck I'm supposed to be doing--which, funnily enough, is never as clear as you would think! Even if you are at increasingly senior levels of responsibility! It's really fun and good! Your boss's boss's leadership team meetings? Surprisingly similar to when I used go get coffee during my break working at an ice cream shop to complain about our customers and equipment and boss! It's amazing how no matter how much changes, everything stays the same!

So I think in the end, my answer to your question is this:

Is it meant to be this hard? Depending on what you do, maybe.

But should it be this hard? Of course not. Life is short and lush and wonderful, but already so filled with challenges, and it's a shame that being rooted in capitalism, we're all forced to participate in a system that's so unbending and unforgiving.

But does that mean it's going to be forever? Or that you can't survive and thrive and have fun in the process? Absolutely not.

However awful you feel, however bad the job is, it doesn't have to be forever. This role you're in now may be just what you need to find your next, better, better paid opportunity. And maybe that one won't be the ideal for more than a year, maybe two, but that's why you keep an eye out and a keen focus on what you want, and what's most important, and like a shark, you continue to move and grow as you get clearer on where you want to move and how you want to grow. The person I was at 24 could not have imagined the person I am at 38, and I'm guessing that the woman I am today can't fathom who I'll be in another 10 years. Whoever she is, I hope she's still choosing to do hard things and--to the very best of her ability--having a good time in the process.

It's okay to cry about work. It's okay to cry at work, even though I strongly recommend that you do this huddled in a restroom in privacy because otherwise it gets messy--fairly or otherwise. It's okay and normal to do these things. It's okay and normal to feel like a fucking disaster, to feel--or to in actuality!--be categorically failing. It is okay and normal to hate and love your job, and to love money and hate the work. There is no right way to do this, and the only wrong way is to give up on yourself, or to create a situation where you cannot have the freedom of your choices or your future.

It's also going to get easier with time. Even if you don't feel it, every day you're getting more experienced, more confident, more discerning. Those microscopic, atomic changes in you accrue, and I'm sure if you're honest with yourself you can already identify how even today, you are a stronger, more capable person in your professional context than you may have been just a year or two ago. Even if you don't mean to do it, just the experience, the bruises, the callouses from throwing yourself at the brick wall over time will rewrite the person you are--if you do this with your eyes open and intentionally, all the better.

Five years from now, ten years from now, you might still find yourself crying about work. But hopefully you'll share the good fortune I have been privileged enough to have, and find yourself the type of good friends who say, "don't care during work hours, it's beneath you to give them the satisfaction--cry later," and actually have the wherewithal to follow that extremely correct guidance.

So anyway, it shouldn't be this hard, but it is. The good thing is, you're better and stronger than it is, and you can look forward to the day you get to look over the shoulder at all the worlds you've conquered as you get ready to do it all over again.

💖

#advice #career advice

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drdemonprince · 6 months

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Hey Doc, any advice on how to determine at what point something crosses the line from me struggling with nueroconforming communication and becomes discrimination?

Context:

I'm out trans at work but have not disclosed my autism. I am constantly getting tone-policed and told I don't communicate well. I keep implementing feedback and communicating as clearly as I can with the criteria I am given, and I keep getting ignored.

When I'm blunt I'm told I am being harsh and need to be softer. When I'm soft I'm told I need to be more blunt to get my point across. When I'm detailed in asking for something I'm told I need to be more brief if I want people to actually read my requests. When I'm brief my requests are ignored entirely and unless I produce screenshots or email chains I'm told I never asked at all. ETC. No matter what I get ignored until the minor issue I was flagging becomes a huge emergency, and then I am asked why I did not say anything sooner.

While this pattern of being ignored has happened to me many times at past workplaces, there were never complaints about my communication skills when I was closeted and boymoding, people just admitted they ignored me and it was their fault. However this is with a new company than the one I worked at before I was out so I'm having a hard time telling if I'm being fucked with for being trans or if this is just the "normal" 'tism office experience but the blame is being shifted to me at this new place. I want to take feedback and learn to be a clearer communicator but starting to feel like my communication is not the issue.

Note: this is not a sexism thing because I have two coworkers and one supervisor who are cis women that do not have this problem, everyone listens to them.

Thanks so much, been pulling my hair out over this for a year now and feel like I'm going crazy.

This is a very, very common experience for trans femme people -- and it is absolutely caused by transmisogyny. I have noticed that trans women truly cannot win. When they explain information carefully to try and educate others, they are accused of being condescending, inaccessible, and difficult to understand. When they cease trying to be heard by people who willfully refuse to hear them, they get criticized for not being approachable or a team player. They're penalized for assertiveness, being told that it's too masculine, and then if they're passive, they get completely ignored.

You are not crazy. You are not making the wrong choice or communicating poorly. You are being targeted by a pervasive systemic bias, and there's probably very little that you could do to make it not happen to you.

A friend of mine once told me that when they were in kind of an awkward-feeling phase of their transition, people suddenly stopped laughing at their jokes. Cashiers, coworkers, random acquaintances at parties, and other people they had easily charmed in the past would suddenly react as if they were not there. Instead of even acknowledging their remarks, my friend was met with a completely neutral stone-faced expression.

For my friend, this phase eventually dissipated and their transition progressed and they arrived at a place where they felt more comfortable and other people found them easier to read by binary, cissexist norms. They still had to deal with sexism in their highly male-dominated workplace, but after a certain point, they became an acknowledgeable human again.

This wasn't about passing as cis, not exactly anyway, because my friend actually never passed as cis ever in their life, not even before their transition. But it was about legibility and their social positioning as a trans femme. When their transition was obviously a thing that was happening but which cis people didn't know how to read or respect, my friend dealt with the full force of transphobic prejudice, and it did ebb a bit once they arrived at a place where they were both more comfortable in themselves, and (probably more importantly, unfortunately) other people were more comfortable with them. The best way I can explain it, from what they told me, was that it was a combination of transmisogyny and hatred of nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people.

It was horrific and unfair that they had to pass through that, and of course many nonbinary and trans femme people live in that area of dehumanization and isolation for all of their lives. But I felt that was a worthwhile anecdote to add, because in some ways it has some parallels to what is happening to you. It might be that gradually people start treating you better, in line with more everyday workplace sexism, as I've witnessed many trans femme people eventually get professionally slotted into a more collectively accepted feminine role after being disrespected for many months or even years. But it does not always happen either, and even when it does, it was after enduring a ton of abuse and learning how tentative people's acceptance always really was -- and there's no unknowing that and unliving it once you have.

I think the workplace culture that you're in is treating you in an unacceptable way, and that you've already tried far more than you should have to in trying to make yourself legible to them. I don't have high hopes that anything you do could have the power to shift this toxically transmisogynistic culture. It's not how you are communicating, it's not how you look, it's not because you're Autistic, it's not because you're a woman -- it's because they are transmisogynistic and are penalizing you for their discomfort and lack of communication skills.

You can, I think, absolve yourself of any feelings of responsibility for managing how other people react to you. Hope can sometimes be a poison that we keep drinking over and over again, believing that we have control over whether or not it will harm us. It's okay to accept instead that nothing good will come of drawing from that well, and choosing not to imbibe it.

The choice for you, then, is how best to survive in an environment where you are treated this way. What can you do to document that you are performing the work as asked? Can you request examples or templates of 'correctly' done work, or explanations, so that you can point out that you are meeting expectations as they have been outlined? Are there people at work who have been treated unfairly too, whom you can communicate with?

(Transmisogyny, I have noticed, often parallels anti-Blackness in certain mechanisms that it uses. Many Black people are accused of being "confusing" to understand when they try to explain basic experiences of bias, or are seen as too "hostile" in similar ways, particularly Black women, and sometimes community can be built along those or other lines. If you have a union, I would certainly consider speaking to union leadership about this if you trust them. Be careful in how you go about agitating against pervasive problems like these at work -- the messenger is frequently punished. But, you might find some solace and some possibility of a culture change in the long-term if it is fought for alongside comrades rather than alone.)

Realistically, you will probably need to build an escape route for yourself. Whether that's by psychologically detaching from your workplace as much as possible, letting them fail for having not listened to you, and finding your belonging elsewhere, or whether that's by finding another job or quitting is for you to decide. I wish the options were better, but I think taking honest stock of what the problem is and accepting that it's not a social dynamic that you have the power to correct can be clarifying, at least. I hope people with similar experiences will sound off in the comments with advice or validation.

Best of luck, and I'm so sorry this is happening. Please keep me updated on what ends up working best for you.

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inthepeakymidwinter · 1 year

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Teach Me. (Thomas Shelby x Reader)

Summary: Y/N is a secretary dealing with the usual creepiness of being a woman in a male dominated workplace. *cough* Thomas Shelby to the rescue. *cough* TW: Drinking Word Count: 1225 (It was a Thomas fic I couldn't skimp on this obvi) A/N:(This might be one of the last stories I keep up with. I LOWKEY might have arthritis so this was the one thing I wanted to work on tonight before I die at work tomorrow and have no more energy for the rest of the week 💀 anyway ENJOY!! I still wanna write more of this because its so cute and i can tell it will get STEAMYY) Tags: @globetrotter28 @theshelbyclan

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It had been three weeks since the start of my new job as Secretary of Shelby Company LTD. I was doing what I knew how to do best. Calling clients, scheduling appointments, working with the rest of the girls in the back to help coordinate others schedules and get ready for all the big meetings the Shelby boys were in. I knew nothing about horses or gambling but that was okay, Polly told me everything I needed to know between meetings and somehow, I was able to keep up.

After spending 9 hours sorting through old mail and calling to make appointments, I was ready to end my day. I was tired of the Shelby boys coming up to my desk just to make crude remarks and then walk away. Between the “are you working hard or barely working?” comments and the weird “I’m better now that you’re here” flirtations I was ready to give up the job I needed most but the girls that worked with me just told me to tell them to “fuck off”. I was too kind to be able to do that and not feel guilt for it. The only Shelby that truly treated me like a human was Thomas. He was the middle brother and the most professional. I admired his work ethic, and how he would put pressure on the other boys to be more professional.

It was almost time for closing the shop when a man in a dark coat walked in. He had the familiar peaky blinder cap on, and I immediately sighed. It was probably Arthur, the oldest of the Shelby boys. He usually came in to take a bit of cash and go gamble at the fighting matches on the corner. I continued to file my paperwork as normal until I heard footsteps walk up to my desk and I sat straight up to look at him. It wasn’t Arthur like I thought it was. In fact, it turned out to be Thomas. He took off his cap to reveal his dark hair and short sides, a typical cut for the peaky blinders. “Do you have any clue where the rest of the papers are for my newest horse?” He asked me in a frustrated tone. I thought to myself about where I put his papers and then the location finally dawned on me. “They’re…uh- in your desk sir… I put them in the middle drawer on the right” I stuttered. He saw right through me and his eyes glimmered. He thanked me quickly and started to walk away, but it looked as if something bothered him deeply. I saw him stop in his tracks and turn towards me once more.

“Y/N…Come to my office when your done” He requested. I gave him a gentle nod but on the inside my heart had just leapt out of my chest at his request. After my anxiety spiraled for a few moments, I finally got the courage to go up to his office. One half of me was convinced I was going to be fired but the other half of me said I needed to pull myself up by the weak straps on my black mary janes and storm into his office unafraid.

When I finally brought myself into his office, I was surprised by the view of two glasses of some brownish alcohol sitting neatly at his desk. “Y/N, please… make yourself comfortable” Mr. Shelby stood up from his black leather office chair and gestured to the seat in front of his desk. I held my breath and walked over to the chair in front of his desk. I pulled at the edges of my skirt before neatly sitting down and crossing my legs. I watched Mr. Shelby begin to sip his drink before sitting down after me. “So what’s this I hear about Arthur stealing from the safe?” He raised his right eyebrow and looked at me for answers with his oceanic blue eyes. I sunk in my seat and frustratingly brushed my forehead. “Mr. Shelby, I don’t want to get in your private busine-“ “Y/N if there’s something you know…It’s best that you tell me” He raised his voice at first but calmed down the second I looked up at him.

“Mr. Shelby…I don’t want to tell you because he makes…advancements...and I really don’t want to get on his bad side” I sighed deeply and looked down at the floor.

“Advancements?” Thomas asked with both eyebrows up this time. “Uh-…Unwanted…romantic advancements” I murmured. He chuckled for a moment and drank from his glass once more. “Y/N, that’s just Arthur. Actually, that’s probably half of the Shelby boys. Tell you what…I’ll tell him off if you just tell me what’s going on, eh? Deal?” Thomas bargained.

I gave him a sheepish nod and spoke up, “I see him every Friday…leaving from the safe and when I walk home at night…I see him at the fights around the corner.” Thomas nodded and took a deep breath. “Thank you, Y/N,” He thanked and reached for the second glass of alcohol. “Drink with me, yeah?” He asked. I took the glass in my hands and asked him what it was. He paused for a moment to look in my eyes and he realized that I was asking him a genuine question and not joking. “It’s whiskey” He smiled. “There’s a lot you don’t know, eh?” Thomas asked me as I put the drink up to my lips.

“Only some” I spoke and decided to take a big swig of the liquid. Almost immediately it felt like I was on fire, and I started choking on the bitterness of the drink. “Easy, Y/N” Thomas raced over and got me a glass of water from his beverage cart on the left side of the room. He handed it to me, and I grabbed it like it was my last drink on earth. I coughed one last time and placed the drinks on his desk.

“Mr. Shelby…I do know some things…I know a lot about being a secretary…and I also know that I won’t be drinking again” I chuckled. He smiled softly at me and ran his hands through his hair. “Y/N how old are you? I don’t think you told me when we hired you” Mr. Shelby questioned and sat back down at his chair. I began to comfortably shift in my chair and looked at Mr. Shelby. His eyes met mine and my face flushed. He was similar to me in that he dressed quite professionally every time I saw him around the office. His coat always matched the color of his suits and there was never a day that went by where he didn’t say goodbye to me. “I’m 22, Mr. Shelby” I answered him.

“Well…you have a lot to learn, Y/N” He spoke low and took another drink.

“and I would say…You have a lot to teach Mr. Shelby” I flirted. I don’t know what got into me with that drink, but it was exuding a certain confidence in me that I had never felt before. Thomas smirked at my reply and drank once more. “So I’ll teach you then” His smile matched mine and I felt my cheeks heat up. I could tell this was not going to end well for the both of us.

#thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby fluff #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders x reader #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinder imagine

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stressfulsloth · 7 months

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I didn’t pick up on Harry seeming to question his gender at all! I noticed the sexuality of course, but his discomfort with femininity seemed to come more from feeling like he doesn’t love up to expectations of masculinity and just general feelings of inadequacy. But I’m also a trans man so wanting to be feminine is rather foreign to me, so maybe I just glossed over it?

Sorry that was horribly long winded but would you mind expanding upon your comment about Harry’s gender identity?

Yeah sure! I'm not sure where you've come from so I'm going to link this here as just a bit of my thoughts on Harry and gender/sexuality, but if you came from that post and still aren't sure what I'm getting at, I'll elaborate too :)) I think Harry's issues with masculinity as it relates to class are quite obvious, and DE goes in hard on presenting gender and gender expectations as a conscious performance, with higher expectations on Harry stemming from his poverty. "What is it about poverty that makes all the men *real*?" This can certainly be interpreted as Harry having issues with expressing any kind of femininity, with performing gender expectations to an adequate degree. Struggling to live up to the standard of manliness set for him in the media that he consumes, in the world he occupies, and further the standard that he sets for himself in the aftermath of his failed relationship with dora ("you poor fuck. You poverty-ridden fuck.")

But beyond that, beyond identifying masculinity with feelings of inadequacy, there is (I think) also an undercurrent of longing for femininity or "genderless"ness that lends itself well to a trans/nb HC. The derision he or his skills express towards femininity at certain points feels almost defensive, rejection to keep it at arm's length despite his fascination with it, while the performative hypermasculinity feels like a shield. His fascination with "genderless" haircuts and his skills immediately shutting it down. It feels almost like another facet of his repression, perhaps, a residual from pre-annesia Harry having these same thoughts and having to shut them down for survivals sake. He does accuse other characters of "cross dressing" a few times, mimicking his preoccupation with finding other people's sexualities too- Noid and Gary, for example. The entirety of the Noid conversation would give him something interesting to chew on: "You know what I think? I think *man*, *woman*, and *child* are arbitrary divisions which serve to bind humanity to serfdom." And of course "some lady-clothes to piss off the sex-system."

The entirety of the leopard print leotard scene, the echo of "I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore" in "yes. This is the type of animal I want to be" the moment he's dressed in the bodysuit. The "summer" warmth found in expressing his femininity, in dressing himself in something softer, and on the other side the paralysing fear that he doesn't deserve to express it, that he'll be ridiculed if he presents the way he actually wants to. The emphasis that once this door opens, it can't be closed. Once the egg cracks, it can't be glued back together and ignored. "Again: once the leopard comes on, it's never *ever* coming off." Once Harry experiences a taste of his desired gender presentation, he will not be able to repress it again. I think the fear that undercuts every single thought on the topic is very familiar to the closeted or unaware trans experience (or at least it is to me, an nb person), fear of admitting what you want, fear of being ridiculed and laughed at. But at the same time, the confidence, the warmth "like stepping into a summer lake," the satisfaction that comes with gender experimentation, the freedom...

Of course, Harry doesn't have the language to describe what he's (potentially) feeling. He barely knows that gay people exist. But I think it's plausible that this pattern of thoughts, given time to stew away from the "male-dominated workplace" of the RCM and more time in the homo-sexual underground, more time learning to be kinder to himself and to the world, unlearning some of the bigotry that has worn a groove into him as a cop, shedding some of the misery ("turn from the ruin. Turn and go forward..."), could lead to Harry discovering and identifying with nb and/or transfem labels. To "explode the gender binary" as he says.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #I'm not saying this is the intended reading but i am fond of it #remembering the post that's like 'refering to HDB's misogyny as internalised then refusing to elaborate' and honestly yeah #long post #i am so sorry for the massive long posts in the tag recently i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to try and be clear as i can #sorry if this is a bit mushy i am so tired 🥲#ask #anonymous

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myimaginarywonderland · 2 months

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Honestly disgusted by how many of you are talking about which team you all want to succeed right now and not about the giant elephant in the room that is the entire RB situation.

Because there are so many messed up things here that have such huge consequences around the entire sport and make me feel vile when thinking about it.

First of all: The victim of whatever happened at RB should have never been made into a public meme. The fact that inappropriate behavior like this is still okay in the workplace is an absolute shame. No boss should ever hold the power he has over any subordinate employee in whatever way possible. And especially not when it comes to using a position of power to make anything close to a sexual advance.

Second of all, this should have never become public in the way it did. Not only was there too much leak which therefore severely affected the public opinion but it also should have never been talked about the way it did for all parties involved especially the victim in this situation. The way this came out and has been about anything but what actually happened because it could not be verified is so fucking horrible to any party involved. This should have been handled quietly without the publics eye.

Thirdly, should whatever happened been of a sexual behaviour, the amount of trauma that the victim has been through and has experienced because of this publicity is inexcusable. The way people have turned this situation into a joke , a meme is disgusting and shows how women are never save. It shows why so many of us don't share our experience, why so many don't talk about what happened to them because it gets turned into a fucking joke.

Not to mention the amount of tweets and reactions in support of Horner, publicly declaring relief, all coming from men, leaving yet another bad taste. Showing that it will not matter, that man will always choose to stand with some other man they know before most men will ever believe let alone side with a female victim. The amount of support for Horner without any clear guess what happened shows how men don't care about women, how it will always be skepticism. How woman have to fight to even have a voice and how to get shut down because "He would never."

And lastly the way this has been dragged into the entire fucking F1 paddock when all the victim wanted was accountability and punishment for something someone did wrong. The way this traumatic experience has been used as a fucking E-Mail to basically a male dominated field, is baffling. Should this move have come from anyone other than the victim themselves, I am beyond furious. I am enraged thinking that someone thought it was okay to use another person's traumatic experience as a public spectacle. I am beyond sick at the thought that woman all over the motorsport world now have to listen to men giving their opinion on something they will never understand, on something they can never understand. I am beyond livid at the fact that this will have caused old traumatic experience to come up again in women all in the motorsport world. I am being terrified of what safety issues some women like the victim herself probably now have to go through in order to hide what happened to them.

I am beyond disgusted that the F1 world has handled this, how RB have handled this and how once again, a traumatic experience that probably has happened to more than 70% of women, has been publicly turned into a joke in one of the most male dominated sports in history.

I am beyond angry at what dumb remark this situation will bring forward.

I am beyond ready to be disappointed when I will see multiple men in this sport I might have looked up to, probably turn out to be misogynistic and uneducated in something they would never give a second thought about.

But most importantly I am beyond exhausted that once again, the F1 paddock knows no understanding of privacy or safety.

Obviously if the message turns out to be faked some things might not stand but the fact that it puts something serious as sexual harassment as a joke just proves my point.

#f1

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genericpuff · 1 year

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i know this is very direct, but i am trying to write a character who is a tattoo artist, and i want to know what to do for him and what not to do.

also i would love to know if there are requirements for someone to be a tattoo artist, and how long does someone practice for, what is the practice like, and what is the workplace like.

i love your work btw and im loving ur first comic too so far (reaper)!

Ouu! It's definitely a broad subject that I can't feasibly answer every single potential question in one post but here are some basic pointers:

Tattoo artists typically earn their certification through apprenticeships. These are usually unpaid, with the agreement being that the apprentice will provide basic labor to the shop (in the form of answering phone calls, helping clients, running stencil machines, sterilizing equipment, cleaning, etc.) in exchange for education and the opportunity to gain hands-on experience from a seasoned professional. Many apprentices land these opportunities by getting tattooed, meeting local artists, working on their portfolio, and carving their own presence in the local art and body mod community. It's not your typical "hand in your resume and wait for the callback" type deal, many people seeking apprenticeships don't actually land one until after multiple rejections (and it's not uncommon for those rejections to come from the same shop or artist, I've seen people knock on the same door every day for months before finally getting accepted).

Some artists do require upfront payment from the apprentice to cover materials and education. It depends on the shop. I personally do not have experience with the paid ones, I did the first version where I worked for free in exchange for learning.

Tattoo apprenticeships can last anywhere from 1-3 years, some even longer than that depending on the pace of the mentor and apprentice.

Tattoo 'schools' and online learning courses do exist, but are looked down upon by members of the body modding community due to the nature of how they operate - learning how to tattoo in theory is easy, but actually doing it is a whole other challenge that is learned better through the hands-on experiences gained exclusively through apprenticeships (you can probably guess where my beliefs lean on this lol)

While more women than ever are joining the industry, tattooing is still a very male-dominated field. A lot of misogyny and sexism still exists as a result. Hazing is still normalized in a lot of shops but many are working to get that out of the industry due to how unnecessarily cruel it can be.

A typical day in the life of an apprentice will involve the following: setting up their mentor's station, preparing stencils for the appointment, shadowing their mentor's appointment to watch the process being done, reading up on tattoo history and techniques over the years, working on flash sheets, strengthening tracing skills (tattooing is a LOT of tracing because you're literally tattooing over a stencil while doing the job haha). Some artists get their apprentices to do shop-relevant chores like cleaning the floors and equipment, others get them to do completely unrelated tasks like getting them their lunch (I had to do this, blech.)

When apprentices do start tattooing (when their mentor feels they're ready - some apprentices start tattooing in the first 6 months, others take a year or longer) they'll typically do them for free on their friends who are willing, and once they start charging, it'll be lower rates, usually anywhere from $30-$50. Full-time artists (after their apprenticeship is long done) will charge between $100-$150 per hour. Some charge less, some charge more, but those are the standard averages.

There are two kinds of shops - those that charge booth rent, and those that take splits. The booth rent kind are pretty much like hair salons, where artists that work in their establishment have to pay a monthly 'rent' to work in their respective space within the shop. I work in a split shop which means the shop keeps 50% of everything I make per appointment, this is a lot but they pay for all my materials and supplies so all I have to worry about is booking my appointments and showing up to do 'em.

The two most commonly used machines in the industry are coils and rotaries. Coils are the "old school" machines, whereas rotaries are an all-purpose type of machine that are growing in popularity (but many still prefer coils due to their power and legacy in the industry.) No matter which one an artist uses, don't call them "tattoo guns". They're machines.

Regulations in the industry vary by state/province/country. While some locations are subject to routine health inspections and following specific standards, other locations do not. Regardless of regulations, artists are typically expected to have certification in bloodborne pathogens - as this is a job that works around blood, having up-to-date training on bloodborne illnesses and infections is a must.

Phew, that ended up being a LOT more than I planned from the beginning but I got all riled up talking about it and had to get it out of my system LMAO Hope that helps! There's plenty more I could talk about but I hope this gives you a decent springboard to do further research :)

(and ty btw, it's very sweet to see people find my main projects through my stuff here, I'm glad you're enjoying it <3)

#ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything #tattoo artist #genericpuff #generic puff

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sammieham · 9 months

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While being thrown into the gut wrenching pit of reality, I had the chance to go see Barbie. I thought to myself before, during, and after the movie that being afab, being feminine, being a woman is heartbreaking in the face of the real world.

I work in a masculine dominated field. As do most people. A regular day might consist of being poked fun at for not working out, for not being able to remember one silly line from a random movie, not being able to draw back more than 52 pounds. An average day for me is my skills as a technician being questioned by grown men who know nothing about their own equipment or being the main manager and leading bow technician that day and being thought of as “just the pretty receptionist.” That was actually said to my face as I was working on their equipment.

All of that to say on the day I went to watch Barbie I had gone to my workplace, which I typically chalk up to “going to the range” since my archery range is there. I had my favorite outfit on, accented with my highlighter pink doc martens. While I did shoot bad due to feeling physically like shit (props to my internal war upon my uterus coming early) I still shot better than the men there. One in particular isn’t a bad customer. He’s actually one that sees me as a technician and equal to my male co-workers despite only being 20, a chick, and solely a target archer. When I took my leave I said, “I’m off to see the Barbie movie!” I was practically jumping I was so excited. This is a movie I have been looking forward to since the announcement. The pure joy and excitement was pouring out of me. I felt it in the way my eyes got a bit bigger and my smile a bit brighter.

The customer said to me, “I didn’t see you as a Barbie person.”

And I think the point of the movie was made there. That no matter who we are, Barbie is for us. No matter how we dress, no matter our line of work, no matter what we fight for and believe, Barbie is for us. You don’t have to look a certain way or be a certain age. You don’t have to be anything but someone who wants to love Barbie and use her as a reflection of who you are and/or want to be.

I try so hard to be seen as some sort of equal to my male co-workers at the shop. I want to be respected and to be seen as more than some decoration to help the men go to other men to work on manly things. I want to be the one feminine person representing women on the range so little girls won’t be afraid to join in on a sport that offers so much community when the doors are opened to you. I want to be a safe haven for the women and girls looking for a potential comfort in an otherwise masculine dominated place. I want to be a bit like the Barbie of the shop. Equal respect received and a representation of women in a masculine world.

when someone sees me as a doll they don’t see me as someone equal to the others in knowledge or skill in the field. It’s true I don’t have some skills or knowledge, but that’s the same with them. When someone sees me as equal to the others they tend to forget that I’m just a girl who used to play with dolls and likes the color pink. It would be amazing if both could happen. That I’m just a chick who used to play with dolls, likes pink, and can make archery equipment get bullet holes in paper.

And I loved Barbie for saying you can be an equal and you can be a doll. I loved it for every joke, every truth, and every pinch to the heart. I loved it for saying we are all not equal in personality, awards, strengths, and opinions, but we can receive equal respect.

#barbie #barbie movie #dont get me wrong tho my coworkers are usually very good to me #they poke fun yes but they do make sure customers who don’t see me as equal know that I can work on bows and I know what im doing #they have a challenge going on to outshoot me #ive lost a few times usually when they buy me an energy drink

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the-hinky-panda · 1 year

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first time (can't see the emoji), 💦, 🙈, 🚨, 🎥 for Carrillo? xoxo

Okay, the first time prompt, I am actually ridiculously proud of. And since that's the only one that I did a fic for, I'm saving it for the last entry. Loved writing it! So, now on to the headcanons:

💦 (cum headcanon): This just goes to show what a terrible smut writer I am. I tried to write a fic about this and just failed miserably at it. So here are just my thoughts. I don't think Carrillo is much into making a mess. If he has to or you ask him to, he'll come on you. However, I do think he has a wicked possessive side so I think he would definitely enjoy coming inside you and then feel a lot of satisfaction as seeing it run out.

🙈 (something they're shy about asking for): So I kind of, sort of hinted at this in Mariposa but wasn't explicit (haha) in the situation. I think he would be shy about asking for a blow job. With all the misogyny that ran rampant in the 80's with women in a male dominated workplace, I just feel like he wouldn't want to be viewed as one of "those guys" by a significant other. Canon wise, I think we see him in a very traditional situation as a husband. He's the protector of a scared and timid wife. I just don't see him being comfortable with asking her for something like oral sex.

🚨 (Sex that sent me to the ER): This fool. Horacio is the kind who will suggest shower sex and then slip and fall. Dislocated shoulder, sprained wrist, and a pulled back muscle. He doesn't want to bring too much attention to the three cracked ribs from you landing on top of him. Although this one I may circle back to write a fic about because @seltsamkind and I were talking about this prompt and imagining him showing up at the ER when Connie was working there? And then Connie coming home and being like "Steve, you will never guess who came limping into the ER today and you will never guess why!"

🎥 (Filming or making a sexy movie): Horacio strikes me as being pretty private and not wanting anything that could be seen as controversial being out there for his enemies to use as leverage. I just don't see this as being something he would be into.

Now for the First Time Fic:

Carrillo gets laser focused on things and when sex finally enters into his brain as something that is available to him, that’s all he can think about for awhile. Thankfully, he has a friend who introduces him to a General’s daughter who finds his arrogance and disregard for the rules exciting and dangerous. That’s how he woos her. Her life has been shaped and controlled by rules and regime. He’s a sledgehammer that smashes all her expectations and she falls in love with what he represents: freedom from regulations.

Her father knows exactly what he is facing when Horacio Carrillo starts turning up at his home and spending time with his wide eyed, sheltered daughter. He tries very hard to make sure he’s within the eyeline of the brash cadet, acting as the unofficial chaperon for the two young lovers. But even the most dedicated guard dog needs sleep. After a two week training camp that is used to weed out the weak, he retires to bed early one night and Horacio takes full advantage of the opportunity. She lets him through the kitchen door and they sneak up the back stairway of the old house to her room.

He tries to go slow, he really does. She has about the same amount of experience as he does, which is next to nothing, so they fumble through the removal of clothes, the shyness of the exposure, and the overwhelming feeling of being completely skin to skin. She’s incredibly tense no matter how much he runs his hands over her soft skin and curves. But everything, how she feels, how she smells, how she sounds, are making it very difficult to hold himself back. He’s literally shaking from the effort.

But she’s a general’s daughter, raised in the military despite never donning a uniform. She braces herself, convinced it’s going to hurt and ready to endure this rite of passage into adulthood. He, just as foolishly, decides to be done with it so he can either move on from whatever hold this base instinct has had on him or continue to practice it until he’s mastered it just like any other skill he’s set out to learn. He pushes into her, caught between doing it quickly or going slowly, and it ends up being a steady invasion. She tenses around him, painfully so, and a stray tear slips from her left eye. He presses his forehead against her temple and whispers apologies in her ear. The tension slowly ebbs from her muscles and he’s able to move, not that he moves for a lengthy amount of time. He manages three or four rolls of his hips before spilling himself inside of her.

He is terribly ashamed in the aftermath. Tears are coming more earnestly, her eyes impossibly round, and…a trembling smile on her lips. She thanks him, thanks him for being gentle, even though he knows he caused her pain. Thanks him for being kind, even though he found his completion and she did not. Thanks him for loving her, which he’s surprised to find, he does.

Fifteen years later, a young DEA agent decides he wants an insider perspective on how things work in Colombia. But Horacio needs to know if he can trust this Javier Peña so he takes him on a stakeout and keeps passing him beers. He ends up telling Horacio about some woman named Lorraine who was left at the alter after she confessed to Javier that she was not, in fact, pregnant like she had thought. Horacio had chuckled.

“I was in a similar situation,” he tells Javier. He’s not a fool. Trust goes both ways.

“Got a girl in trouble?”

“I did.”

“What happened to her?”

Horacio takes a long drink from the beer. “I married her.”

“You guys still married?”

He nods. “Fifteen years in August.”

“What’s her name?”

“Juliana.”

#hinky answers #horacio carrillo #colonel horacio carrillo

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johannestevans · 11 months

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I totally agree that that is not workplace-appropriate behaviour, and that after working in a high-stress environment such as a hospital (and as a surgeon as well), he should have found some coping strategies that can help (for all we know, he has, and that one meltdown was just a particularly bad day for him), I think when discussing whether someone is mean, you have to take into consideration intent.

the way I see it, someone is mean if they do something out of malice/with the intent to hurt someone. although his behaviour during his meltdowns is, like you said, self-indulgent, I don't think he has the intent to scare/upset/hurt/be generally cruel to his colleagues whilst he is overwhelmed like that. again, that doesn't make his behaviour right, but I also think that because he lacks the malicious intent, he isn't inherently mean. that's not to say that he isn't capable of being mean, but we haven't seen him act that way on the show at any point

Idk what you mean by "one meltdown" bc theres like. two or three occasions I can think of where he screams in the operating room - at least twice when connor joins his team and he feels as if people are being insubordinate, and also later on where he throws equipment at one of the female surgeons

who says explicitly that she has dealt with that behaviour for seven years

like I'm sorry, I know Izzy is a beloved blorbo, but especially in a male-dominated and highly misogynistic field like surgery, yelling at and throwing things at female colleagues is not something where I'm gonna be like "oh but he doesn't have a coping mechanism :("

it creates a hostile working environment, and while yes, people have difficulties with latham bc of his lack of social skills, he is a physically threatening colleague, and throwing shit in the OR is at the very least a risk to one's patients, let alone to other members of staff

it IS a dick move. i am not going to argue the finer points of how mean it is to scream into the faces of and throw things at one's staff bc like. that is just not one where i am gonna take intent into account, let alone infantilise one of the few autistic characters on TV who's actually given a full and complex, rich character with such nuance in his writing and boil his flaws down to whether he meant to be mean or not

izzy latham is a surgeon, and like a lot of other surgeons he's arrogant and superior, he does not respond well to critique or suggestion, and he takes out his temper on subordinate staff. many surgeons are written like this because many IRL surgeons are like this

but it doesnt matter how you're feeling or whether you meant to hurt someone's feelings when you do that?

like. rueiejd sorry but just to compare with izzy hands

izzy is a mean bitch but he's a pirate on a pirate ship, and most of his cruelty is not actually at people he considers his coworkers, but his hostages - hes obviously nasty to fang and grabs his beard, but his worst is directed at stede's crew

the whole show is a critique of toxic working environments though, and izzy's methodology of abuse is an example of Bad Boss and Bad Colleague

izzy latham is just like. in a normal hospital lol. like in the 21st century and everything.

#musings #anon i dont understand what battle you are fighting here but i am not gonna explain this a third time #intent is not relevant #HARM is relevant #like if i said this to izzy he'd understand its not about your feelings its about your actions lol #anonymous

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talkingforwellness · 1 year

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Why Work-Life Balance Isn’t Realistic for Women

Life in the professional lane always promises a challenge. Sometimes it’s learning new skills to level up your career. Other times it looks more like having to change literally everything about the way you work (thank you, global pandemic). But what many women discover is that while their work-life is ever evolving, this evolution leaves little space for the other 16 hours in the day. You know, when life is happening. Anyone who has experienced this knows that it feels overwhelming at best, and completely impossible at worst.

Finding a ‘balance’ between your professional life and everything that happens outside your 9 to 5 is touted as the key to making it all work. Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? How is your work-life balance? The gurus will ask. But is there really such a thing? When you find that life outside of work is really taking a toll, how easy is it really to just balance things out by scaling back? How often are work-life and the rest of your life really treated equally?

This is where work-life integration comes into play. Work-life integration is discussed by Stephen Kohler, CEO and founder of Audira Labs as “..centered on the belief that there is no distinction between the two (work and life) and that both must coexist in harmony,” Many women who play additional roles outside of work will know this sounds much more realistic than trying to balance everything equally.

The Invisible Workload of Women

Women who are parents or caregivers step out of one ‘work role’ only to step directly into another. You know, the job that is taking care of other people (usually at their own expense).

When we talk about the invisible workload of women, we’re referring to the emotional, mental, and sometimes physical burdens they carry for their entire families. “On top of working outside the home and/or being a homemaker, women often have to take on additional emotional labor in ways that their male counterparts don’t,” Zainah Ben Essa, LMHC, explains. “And because many workplaces and environments are male-dominated and originated in patriarchal norms, the structures in place aren’t usually conducive to women’s needs,” she adds.

And while women face these challenges and additional workloads at home, they also face similar problems at work. For example, being a woman in the workplace is synonymous with going above and beyond to make up for a perceived downfall that comes with also being a mom. If I have to take a slightly extended lunch break to get my kids to their dentist appointment, then I should probably stay online longer (than my work hours) to show my boss I’m committed.

While it’s an unspoken phenomenon, many employers expect their employees to leave personal things at home while they’re at work. And when we say employees, what we really mean is women. Because how often is a man reminded to keep an eye on the clock when they have to go to their child’s event at school during the workday? They aren’t. They are celebrated for being involved and great parents, compared to moms who are just expected to do it all.

How to Practice Work-Life Integration

Like the illusion of work-life balance, asking employees to leave their life at home isn’t realistic. So how can you practice work-life integration with your employer?

Flexibility as the rule, not the exception

When you are first hired, at regular performance check-ins, or really, anytime you’re asked to provide feedback, stress that flexibility is the rule, not the exception. If you need to go to a therapy session mid-day, you should have the flexibility to do so (even if it means taking sick time for a doctor’s appointment). You might not always be able to schedule time before or after work–that’s just how life works. And when you do go and take better care of your emotional and mental health, you’ll be less stressed, more focused, and better able to do your work.

Don’t take work home with you

Whether you work in your company’s physical location or work from home, when you’re done for the day, it’s time to unplug. This means setting important boundaries for yourself and for your employer. For example, even though, ideally, you’re reaching a point where work and life peacefully coexist, it doesn’t mean your employer gets access to you 24/7. Leave your computer in a different room. Do not add your work email to your personal device. Take time to rest and recharge.

Use your time off

Unlimited PTO is a benefit many employers offer to entice new talent while contributing to the illusion of work-life balance. And while they won’t directly come out and say it, it may feel like unlimited doesn’t really mean unlimited. Stay in regular communication with your managers. As long as you are getting the work done, take your time off as you need it. If you can prevent yourself from becoming burnt out, not only is it best for you as a person, but your employer will likely benefit as well with increased productivity.

Our therapists here at Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness are committed to helping reduce the stress and anxiety in your life, regardless of what is causing it. Call, text, or email us.

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