#I love being exclusionist.

[womenaremypriority]

This may not be the original meaning of the word, and it may still sound like a “bad” word to some people. But whether you like it or not, the word ‘lesbian’ exists in part to humanize lesbians. It exists so a lesbian girl can look it up after hearing for the first time, with wide eyes, and there there are others like her. It exists so that young lesbians can hear that there are other women like the. It exists so young lesbians can find accurate information about sexual behavior between women. It exists so young lesbians can find role models and spaces and TV shows for people like them.

What do you think happens when you take that away. What do you think happens when the meaning of the word ‘lesbian’ is in the dictionary is ‘non-men loving non-men’. What do you think happens when the lesbian tag on Tumblr mentions penis on every other post. What do you think happens when Reddit groups for lesbians mention finding men attractive constantly. What do you think happens when sex guides for lesbians stress that lesbians can learn to interact with dicks.

What do you fucking think happens?

I don’t give a shit about your “meanings change!” And “words are made up!” I don’t care. I don’t. You can deny all you want, but the only thing you’re meaningfully doing is prioritizing your feelings over the safety and happiness of actual lesbians. You laughed off the idea that predatory men will use the changing definition of lesbian to their advantage? Okay, what about adolescent lesbians trying to find others who are like them? As in- female humans, who only want to date other female humans? What about conversion therapists and upset parents who will say, “plenty of lesbians can like penis!” Oh, they already do that, you say? You’re just letting them continue! You’re just giving them MORE ammo and MORE room to do that, instead of fighting it!

Both liking other women and not liking men are parts of the lesbian experience. Both of these things contribute to why lesbians are oppressed, and if you don’t respect lesbians ability to voice BOTH of those things, simply and easily, you don’t respect lesbians. If you redefine lesbian, you’re not actually taking away the stigma around being a female homosexual. You’re doing nothing but adding to it, and making sure it’s harder to name.

I hope you’re all fucking proud of yourselves. The least you can do is admit that you only care about yourself.

#my post #I love being exclusionist. #Everyhyper inclusionist on this damn website is so immature it’s maddening #radical feminism #radfem #My bangers

[fumifooms]

I’ve been seeing a lot of people shit on straight couples in shipping and in general as a "joke" lately, particularly in the Dungeon Meshi fandom. Friendly reminder that, besides the evil straights, when you mock or put down straight couples for being straight/"not queer enough", you also make bi and pan people, and trans and ace people who experience hetero attraction feel unwelcome and lesser. Negativity hurts, love is love, happy valentine’s!

#It’s not even unironic or subtle anymore. Very uncomfy ngl #I know which side of the ace discourse y’all would be on and I do not like it #A lot of people reading will have the gut instinct of “shut up straight 🙄” and if that’s you I want you to pause and think about that #Yes I understand the historical sociopolitical reasons. Can we not rise above and not be exclusionists #When did queerness start being a performance needed to belong here. When did it become synonym for morality of a ship. #Not even gonna put this post in general tags bc I’m scared but if I get backlash my point will only be made tbh. What about this is wrong #Will being an ace heteroflexible-demiromantic queer woman save me some heat? Doubtful and that’s the sad thing isn’t it #Never straight enough for the straights never gay enough for the gays. #Bi marcille and ace laios laimar <3 Not that they care tho #I love being a multishipper. Laicion and farcille and marchil and laimar and cittadol and labru having a tea party in my mind and thriving #Is it not enough to be happy and uplifting

[steakout-05]

i might get some hate for this depending on where this post goes but i think lesboys are so valid and the discourse about them is so ridiculous. like you guys shouldn't have to deal with all that and it frustrates me that people throw hissy fits over an identity that literally does not affect them at all.

"but men cant be lesbians-" wrong. butch lesbians and trans men have a really closely connected history with each other that practically intersects and you should really do some research on that before you make blanket statements, not to mention that gender and sexuality is weird and wobbly and fluid and a very personal experience. it means a different thing to each person. being a man can be something completely different and saying stuff like this ignores people like demiboys, demigirls, genderfluid and genderflux people etc. these people will really preach "demolish the gender binary!! love is love!!" until someone's relationship with gender and sexuality is a little too freaky for them to handle and be challenged by lmaoo

"ohhh but what about the cishet men who say they're lesbians to prey on women-" YEAH WHAT ABOUT THEM????? THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM BRO!!!!! this argument also REEKS of terfy "trans women are just predatory men!!!111!!1" rhetoric and it grosses me out. yeah some men are gross and do try to pull this but that does not negate someone's entire identity completely just because of a few bad actors, you know that right? actual black and white behaviour.

queer discourse is silly and i don't know why it's a thing. just let people exist. it isn't that hard. we have worse things to worry about than whether someone calls themselves a lesboy or not. i think we need to unplug our ears and yank our heads out of the sand and remember that the queer community is what it is because of our unique and amazing diversity. arguing over labels like school children isn't gonna help that. damn.

#also this should be obvious but terfs fuck off go explode you are not welcome here this is a terf UNsafe space #terfs fuck off #terfs dni #terfs eat shit #terfs explode #this post is really random but i'm actually quite compelled and interested in queer discourse even though i think it's stupid and silly. #i'm compelled by how angry other people get over literally nothing and ironically i end up discovering some new identities and developing a #-newfound love for the diversity of our community #like i could be reading some shitty post about an identity i don't know about and all i would be thinking is ''that exists? thats so cool!' #and then i end up ignoring the bad post and research the identity and think ''man i love how queer we all are'' #exclus people seem really sad. like im not saying this to be mean i genuinely think they seem really frustrated by everything. #where's the joy in limiting your support and policing people around all day. where's the fun and growth in that. where's the learning. #i obviously cannot change people's minds but if i could then i'd make sure no one falls into the trap of being an exclusionist because that #-sounds like it really sucks. #going full hippie mode in the tags lol #i'd rather be a hippie than make allies with terfs #anyway lesboys are cool gender is an illusion buy gold bye

[bitegore]

When i say i want to hang out with weirdos I do not mean "I want to hang with gay people and that's my marker for whether or not someone is weird." I'm not saying "weird" and meaning "vaguely aro" or "polyam" or "nonbinary" or whatever. Those are not personality traits. They tell you nothing about what that person is like. If i say I need more weird people in my social circle I'm talking about people who are weird. People who aren't like, going with the grain of any community based on literally anything. I have standards for this. I'm looking for like. People who won't blink if I say i only ever enter my house through the window or when I talk about drinking gasoline and then do it and they see I'm not joking, or people who won't think anything huge of me cracking the top of an eggshell and drinking the whole thing from the top in one mouthful. Or if they do, they do enough same-vein shit that it doesn't faze them. These are not really the same as being part of a very broad group of people who happen to have an exogender or whatever. I have met some incredibly normal (derogatory) trans people and gay people and aro people and nonbinary people. When i say weird I mean weird.

#saw a really annoying post. #red rambles #im being so brave by only saying this #like. why are you convinced exclusionists are the ones who want their circle to be more interesting and permissive 1. 2 no the fuck i dont #mean 'i want to know more aros' when i say 'i want more weird as hell friends' that means nothing! thats like saying i want more friends #that eat chocolate. thats not a fucking personality trait #weird is a trait about a personality! weird is a thing about THE PERSONALITY of the person ARO is a ROMANTIC ORIENTATION #im not befriending people on basis of their fucking genders do i look that boring to you????? #fuck of. #-3x0 #-3x5 #if you think i'm weird because i'm transgender rather than weird because I'm weird and transgender because i'm transgender then like you've #genuinely lost the plot. 80% of the things i do are much weirder than wanting a different appearance and none of them have almost anything #to do with me being any kind of queer except the non-loaded dictionary kind #my gender situation and shit is probably more normal than the rest of my life by far #i dont even disagree with the idea that you have to be more broadly accepting of people if you wanna share space with people like me but for #the love of god. i would rather hang out with a cis straight avowed furry than a nonbinary xe/xem user who thinks that anyone who dresses #differently from the Fashionable Standard or doesn't listen to the same music as them is somehow Transgeessing and Being Soooooooo Annoying #^not a hypothetical

[aroanthy]

being gay and aromantic is wild because people will accuse you of hating gay people because you (checks notes) wish people would be a little more critical of romance as a patriarchal structure. the thing is that rgu literally does this, it examines and interrogates how romance is a patriarchal structure. every time i talk about aromanticism in rgu people get very upset about that, as though aromanticism impedes queerness— i did not realise we were still doing exclusionism so bare faced. every time i talk about aromanticism, people get upset. im not even talking about it in relation to the show, instead making a general throwaway post about the weight that people afford anything that deals in Romance, and i get told that rgu is a romance and i should cry about it. like. what? rgu made me realise i was aromantic. i was already gay and that gave me the final piece of the puzzle.

to be gay and aromantic does not mean you Just Have Friends (? what does this even mean, let’s unpack this statement at a later date): to be gay and aromantic means myriad things for myriad people. it means queer sex, it means queer connections that aren’t defined as ‘romantic’, it means queer attraction, it means queer understanding. nothing about this devalues romantic queerness, though i must say that every time i post about aromanticism someone has to qualify my words with a statement about how romance is cool too. and sure, it is, but you can maybe understand how that’s exhausting when you actually want a meaningful conversation about your identity. anyway aromantic people i love you aromantic people and gay people i love you gay people (i am both. godbless goodnight)

#it’s funny bc when i was a small baby i got sucked into an exclusionist wormhole #so im perfectly familiar with shit people say about aromantics #rgu helped me years after id already unlearnt that shit by pushing me to see something id been neglecting for forever #i watched 32. ‘oh im aromantic’. finished the show for the first time. got into a relationship two days later #put of dealing with that realisation until an entire year later #now it’s been three slutty years of being happy #and im making this post because i AM happy #i love being aromantic and i love being gay and i love being both of those things #i want to talk about it always. i want people to understand the ways you can experience things if you open yourself up to them #but you know #this isn’t so much my utena sideblog as it is the sideblog to Me guy who has only seen utena #my identity is like at least 70% utena. and i love it. and i have never struggled to love it #it’s everything to me. gah anyway swagever LOVE AND LIGHT FOREVER ❤️❤️❤️❤️ #dais.txt #dais talks aspec

[lockwie]

I'm too mad and angry at y'all to share my genuine enthusiasm for Thor Love & Thunder or defend Taika in an articulate way

But I want y'all to know I am big mad at y'all for your rancid takes and disgusting attitude

#stop being weird about taika you fcking clowns #i've seen too many people saying he should kill himself #they were white people with terfy exclusionist takes for the most part btw #i am so angry #he owes you NOTHING #people don't owe you an explanation of their queerness or a coming out #forcing people to come out is evil #y'all need to stop #taika waititi #thor love and thunder

[knifearo]

yeah see i'd love to jump on bullying and harassing this new microlabel or identity or whatever but unfortunately i was asexual online around the year 2016 (kinda just sucks the joy out of it)

#gained immunity to the siren call internet exclusion discourse by virtue of being an ace teenager #that rhetoric gets REAL easy to recognize and it's always the same 😭 #'whoa that's crazy! sounds just like what people said to me and people like me for—' (checks notes) 'uh. being alive' #putting this in the ace exclusion/discourse tags cause it seems like nature has healed in there by now <3 #i think that's probably where the target audience for this is haha #and maybe to get a little anon hate. just to feel something #sooo funny i tagged a post as ace discourse like two years ago and got anon hate in my inbox overnight #like babe what were you doing as an exclusionist in that tag all those years past the major shitshow... do you not have a life??? laughable #anyway. i love u aces kiss kiss #asexual #asexuality #ace discourse #ace exclusion

[mogai-sunflowers]

god i just fucking love bi lesbians y’know? I would die for yall

#🌌when the stars align ; reigns rambles🌌 #if I can’t love myself for being fat then I’ll just have to love my bi lesbianism instead #bi lesbians are blessings #exclusionists are missing out on so much queer joy by hating on us #honestly I would feel bad for them if I didn’t hate them so much #but whatever screw them im a hot bi lesbian

[wall-e-gorl]

Happy Ace Day! I dont talk as much about it anymore but I am ace! It was the first thing I figured out about myself, queerness wise, and it's still very important to me even if I've realized that being aro is what affects my day to day life and relationships with others more.

#love being ace it was my first community and i hate what happened to it with the exclusionists but i still love all the aces who were there #sharing memes and info posts and just generally being out and proud and people i could see being happy while being ace

[catsnakes]

Love seeing posts of people being like “those evil exclusionists who are against radical identities such as ‘bi lesbian’ are just conformist who are deepthroating cishet boot” Like you’re so smart, homophobic cishets would hate it if lesbians slept with men, people who hate lesbians definitely don’t want lesbians to fuck men. That would be abhorrent to them

#by love I mean hate obviously #anti bi lesbian #exclusionist #<- I guess #honestly the phrase exclusionist doesn’t really seem to have any sort of vaguely concrete meaning anymore #but even when being annoyed I try to tag appropriately #lesbophobia #biphobia

[dragonling348]

To celebrate aroace trending I'd like to talk about my experiences, because I think I have a unique one in a couple of ways. I'm one of the few that thought I was ace when I was actually pan, instead of the other way around. There were a couple reasons for this.

My upbringing had a stigma around sex and romance, and I would look away not only for sexual scenes in movies, but also for kissing. I still have to fight the habit to look away when I see kissing because my parents taught me to as a kid. I internalized that anything romantic was gross and wrong, and that I shouldn't think about that stuff. Somehow one of my older sisters went the complete opposite way and was very romance positive. Because I didn't have the same views as her, I figured I just wasn't cut out for having a partner and decided I would be single forever (well, so far that one's still true. Rip me.)

So now there's this kid who swears up and down that they'll never have romance and that kissing is wrong. They get to middle school, and they're surrounded with people who all really fucking want it, and they're just learning that asexuality even exists. Of course I heard of the ace experience of being sex repulsed and figured that must be me. I didn't really see myself as queer, but I loved the ace community and I loved the running gags about dragons and garlic bread and I loved seeing myself as ace.

The problem was, I wasn't. I'm not. When I started watching those suggestive scenes in movies and was no longer expected to look away, I *did* feel something. For the longest time, I swore it was something else--my sense of danger (because Star Trek, the one that had all those suggestive scenes, mostly had them where the seductor was evil...) or just getting really invested in the story, yknow? But then I started getting into fanfictions, and I read my first smut fanfiction. And that's when I finally accepted that I did experience sexual attraction. I felt a big loss leaving the ace community, and I felt like I'd lied by saying I was ace. But I still feel a connection to them even if I'm not ace, because that time when I thought I was, I got to know some wonderful people. I still love that community so fucking much.

As for aromantics, I never really thought about it before, but I just recently found out I might be on the spectrum... so who knows man.

Moral of the story? I really don't know. I may be more comfortable being allo, but I kind of miss the ace community. You guys are fucking amazing. You withstand so much from fellow queers and cishets. You deserve the world.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #my queer experience #dragonling says shit #tumblr stop being exclusionist plz #i love you aces i love you aros #you are queer enough

[chaos-in-one]

The tragedy that is your boyfriend being too far away to give kisses to

#⛔/hyperion #I want to kiss her :(((( #sobs #yearning #yearning so bad #gay moment #mlm #mlm thoughts #mlm post #men loving men #exclusionists dni #transphobes fuck off #radfems dni #my partner is literally multigender so shoo I dont want to risk any anti trans mfs being here

[tasmanianstripes]

People will pretend they care about gnc people then absolutely shit themselves if a woman uses he/him pronouns or a man uses she/her pronouns. Or generally anybody using any pronouns they want just because they're not the pronouns they're "supposed to" use.

Pronouns are just another aspect of your gender expression and can be changed as easily as clothes. They do not correlate to gender, they're not set in stone, you can pick and choose whichever pronouns you want to use or are comfortable with.

Y'all weirdos pissing yourself over he/him lesbians need to calm your tits and maybe leave GNC and trans people the fuck alone for once in your lives. Like, we get it, you only accept LGBT+ people if we conform to society's standards and scoff at anything that could be seen as "weird", but please keep this homophobic and transphobic bullshit OUT of our spaces.

#thylacines can talk #it's also very interesting how I mostly see this shit about he/him lesbians and very rarely on she/her gays. #and my interesting i mean jesus christ can exclusionists stop being sexist for 5 fucking seconds #i definitely see he/him lesbians and trans ppl esp enbies getting shit like this #tho this definitely also affects she/her or they/them men even if i do see it a lot less frequently #lgbt+ spaces online LOVE to throw gnc and multigender people under the bus it seems like

[bisexualseraphim]

Do queer people who gatekeep sexualities and gender identities have nothing better to do like genuinely what is your problem. The whole point of the community is that gender and sexuality are more fuckity wuckity than man or woman, gay or straight and in almost 2024 we STILL have mfs going “nah that’s not a thing :/ you don’t belong in the community” unless they’re causing harm to others I seriously urge you to shut the fuck up. It is the easiest thing in the world to just say “hmm I don’t really understand that. But it’s their life and none of my business” and just move on with your life and let people live theirs. I do not give one iota of a fuck if someone identifies as a wolfgender they/them/bun/bunself AMAB transmasc who is only attracted to butches with curly hair and brown eyes IT DOES NOT AFFECT ME. I’m happy that they’ve found a way to express their identity that feels true to them and then I think about it no further. Like it takes active mental energy and emotion to get pressed over how someone expresses themselves and I don’t understand why you’d put yourself through that stress and then decide to be bitchy and make people feel like shit for being themselves. I’m seriously getting so tired of people in the community acting like it’s a fucking competition or you can only join if you meet X Y and Z criteria as if it’s some college mean girls sorority club. People are actively trying to take our rights away all the time and while this is happening we’re helping them by tearing our teeth into our own. Great

#I’ve just had enough of it exclusionists can fuck off I want nothing to do with you #You’re honestly no better than those LGB Without The T dickheads trying to kick people out for being ‘too weird’ or ‘not queer enough’ #I’m always seeing people saying intersex people don’t belong or asexual people don’t belong. What the fuck is wrong with you #You think cishets just treat them normally once they explain who they are? I’d love to live in your world #Yeah they get treated totally fine in a world where ‘virgin’ is used as an insult and babies have forced genital surgery #[sarcasm] #Absolute dumbassery mental gymnastics Jesus Christ #You sound like edgy Conservatives with all the ‘X isn’t real it’s a new thing kids have made up’ #That ‘weird’ gender or sexuality label you’ve just found out about? Has always been around #Always. You just have to look for it #And even if it is new WHO. FUCKING. CARES. #The last thing someone who’s just discovered themselves needs is more bigotry from the people who are meant to accept them #Unless they’re literally doing blackface or are an actual zoophile or some shit leave them the fuck alone they’re not hurting anyone #They’re not. I promise you being confused by something you don’t understand isn’t harm #Where’s that post about how discomfort and harm aren’t the same thing #Work on that shit. #Anyway I need to stop you all do my fucking head in #personal #vent #rant #queer discourse #queer politics #queer infighting #queerphobia #lgbtq #queer #trans #transphobia #acephobia #anti exclusionist

[animationismycomfort]

why is it that most lesbians I’ve seen on here are either rudefams(I’m not calling them rad or fem they don’t deserve that) or exclusionists like….come on I thought y’all were better then that

#guys don’t let your love for t!ts blind you from other people #like come on #I’ve seen so many lesbian blogs where it’s jsut them being rudefams #or being exclusionists #and it’s really upsetting honestly #what part of community do y’all not understand #raise your hand🖐️ if your an inclusive non rudefam lesbian #gtfo if you are #idk im just upset at this pattern #we do not claim these girls #and we never will #also idk why I wanna mention this but the rudefam thing is a joke to p!ss off certain people #if y’all can figure it out props to you #if you can’t… #valid #im very confusing #my stuffy stuff #anti terf #anti radfem #rudefam

[andromedasummer]

every now and then i remember im somewhere on the aroace spectrum and i just kinda stop in my tracks and go 'huh!' and try not to sit on it for very long

#i dont really? get crushes? ive never fallen in love #ive defo felt attraction/infatuation #but the idea of living in a space with someone else and being romantic with them.... it would have to be a very specific kind of person. #to the point where i often feel its unlikely i would find someone like yhat #i dont know if its also because of my autism because thats always made sharing spaces with people hell for me #i dont go on holidays with my family anymore because they make me miserable #havent for 6 or 7 years now #i was surprised by how easy it was to coexist with my roommates on the greek/italy trip i went on when i was 17 #but i suspect that was because i'd known and been close friends with one of the girls for 5 years #and i suspect both are also on the spectrum. at the very least they have some autistic traits that dont quantify a diagnosis #but made coexisting in the same space without encroaching on one another very easy #as for sex im just neutral on that #dont care much either way #so i guess this would make me demi? if i were to be specific #but that feels exhausting to have to come out as and explain over and over so i dont #which is why i just call myself bi because that fits #im bi and im demi #this was brought on by going through the trending aroace tag and being like ''wow i relate to everything here a bit. Too much'' #as someone who was on tumblr during 2017-2019 i saw the worst of the exclusionist community and the fake aroace blogs made for mockery #i'd say thats a large reason i try not to dwell on it #all of that has just made me so uncomfortable to think on/about my sexuality