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rafesfavgirl · 15 days

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gurl i neeed a part 2 of stop asking me to stay, that broke me😭😭😭

you ask, i deliver :) hope you like it!!

i don't regret a thing — r. cameron

part 1.

❝ we're not the only ones, i don't regret a thing every word i've said, you know i'll always mean ❞

pairing: ex-bf!rafe x fem!reader

context: you and rafe have been dating for seven months, and while the relationship started it out well, as soon as the honeymoon phase ended (about 3 months in), everything went to shit. you've been trying to put up with it, knowing the situation with ward, but tonight, you realize you've had enough.

words: 2.4k+

warnings: swearing, toxic relationship, mentions of drug use, mainly fluff, a little angst, might still make you cry. rafe being an absolute simp for you, basically.

rafe wakes up the next morning, faced-down on topper's living room couch with almost no recollection of what happened the night before. except one thing—you'd finally walked away from him.

"not enough to choose me. you give in every time." your words echo in his head, as he opens his eyes.

fuck. what did he do?

"good morning sunshine," kelce comes down the stairs and greets rafe, who looked as if he couldn't move from the couch. "you sleep well?"

"i slept like shit," rafe groans, finally sitting himself up. "what the hell happened last night?"

"you mean other than you getting coked out and royally screwing things over with y/n?" kelce sasses him. "not much bro."

rafe shoots him a glare. "i did not royally screw things over with y/n."

"are you sure about that?" kelce raises a brow at him. "cause i had to drive her home last night crying, bro."

rafe's ear perk up at kelce's confession of you crying over him. you wouldn't have. you were the one who broke up with him.

"she was crying?" rafe asks.

"do you seriously even have to ask?" kelce replies. "i can't even count on two hands how many times you've made her cry the last few months."

no, that couldn't be true. surely he hadn't made you cry that often.

"shut the fuck up kelce," rafe gets up from the couch in complete denial of how shitty he's treated you the last few months and makes his way over to the kitchen.

rafe opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of water, while kelce joins him in the kitchen.

"you know it's true," kelce says, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms. "you just never see it, because she won't let you."

was he right?

"you know how y/n is, bro," kelce adds, as i take a sip of water. "she'll never let you know you're hurting her, because you fear nothing more than being the cause of her pain and losing her. but she's also not going to beg and cry for you to stay and fight for her."

i did know that. that's what i loved about her. she didn't necessarily play hard to get when i tried asking her out on a date after months of texting, but she didn't give in too easily either. she wanted me to prove i was serious about her before giving me a real chance. she knew her worth.

i recap the bottle i'm drinking from and set it down on the counter beside me, my eyes focused on kelce. "so what should i do?"

kelce holds his hands up. "if you don't know by now, i can't help you."

—

rafe wasn't an idiot. he knew what he had to do.

so, after going home and taking a shower to freshen up and get a change of clothes, he drove to the flower shop in town to get you a bouquet of lavender and baby's breath, then nothing bundt cakes to get your favorite treat—a white chocolate raspberry bundt cake—and finally, your house.

once he parked his truck in front of your house and got out, he went through his usual routine of rounding around to your backyard, where he moved the ladder the gardeners used towards your bedroom window.

he climbed up and knocked, balancing the flowers and bundt cake in one hand.

you were sitting in bed watching after we fell on your laptop with a box of tissues beside you and puffy, red eyes when you hear the knock on your window.

without even thinking about it, you already knew who it was. this was just what he did. and against your better judgment, you got up from your bed, and walked over to pull the curtains open and find rafe outside with a regretful look on his face, a bouquet of flowers and a small box of your favorite treat.

slowly, but surely, you unlock the window and pull it up.

"i'm sorry," he speaks before you can, and you scoff.

"you know, i'm getting real sick of hearing you say that," you reply, turning around to walk away and reposition yourself back on your bed, while he slips in through your window.

"i got you flowers," he offers you a small smile and holds both items out to you. "and your favorite bundt cake. white chocolate raspberry."

your eyes shift from the gifts in his hand to his piercing blue eyes. they were no longer dark like they were last night, but there was a sense of uncertainty in them. like he wasn't sure he could win you back.

"so what? am i suppose to just forgive you? just like that?" you retort.

he lets out a sigh, and takes a seat at the edge of your bed, placing both items down on your bed next to your box of tissues. he finally gets a good look at you—from the messy bun on your head, to the bags under your eyes from barely getting any sleep last night, to your red, puffy eyes—and realizes just how badly he's messed up this time.

"i should've just fucked all those other girls. at least they know how to have fun." he still couldn't believe he said those words to you last night.

"i don't deserve your forgiveness," he admits. "i know that. but i want it, y/n. and i'm willing to work for it."

while those words were music to your ears, you were apprehensive. he apologizes every time. and while things do change for a while, they're never permanent. and a week or two from now, you'd be back in this same situation again. was that really worth it?

"i know i don't deserve any more chances," he continues, his eyes only focused on yours. "but i promise… i promise just give me one more and you won't regret it."

your eyes shift between his. he looked a little… scared? was he really that afraid to lose you?

"i don't know, rafe," you say honestly, shifting a little. "you've hurt me so bad… i don't know if i can take you doing it one more time."

"i'm not going to," he immediately shakes his head and reaches out to take your hands in his, fiddling with your fingers and glancing down at them. "please, baby, please. just let me show you i'm the guy for you. that i can be the guy you need and want me to be."

"how?"

"you'll give me a chance?" he asks, his eyes lighting up at the idea of being given another chance to win you back.

despite your brain screaming at you not to, your heart wins over and you nod. you couldn't help it. every part of you yearned for him. and if he was willing to show you that he really could be the guy you knew he was—the guy you fell in love with—then maybe it would be worth it.

"wear something nice," he says. "i'll come back to pick you up at seven."

—

at exactly seven on the dot, you hear rafe park his car in front of your house, and look out your bedroom window to see him dressed in skinny black slacks and a long sleeve, white button down carrying a bouquet of red roses as he walked towards your driveway and front door.

you can't help the small smile that forms on your face as you hurry to strap your heels on and look at yourself in the mirror one more time, before grabbing your purse off your vanity and heading down the stairs.

"where are you heading off to?" your mom asks when you pass by the living room, all dressed up.

"date with rafe," you reply, walking towards the front door.

your parents had never been rafe's biggest fan—they weren't exactly unaware of how often he's made you cry the last couple of months—but they also knew they couldn't stop you from dating whoever you wanted, so they never fought you on it, and you were grateful for that. it was comforting to know they'd support you no matter what happened.

taking a deep breath, you place your hand on the doorknob, and finally open the door when the bell rings.

rafe's eyes instantly widen at the sight of you, his eyes trailing down your body wrapped in a tight, short, satin red dress. "wow," he gasps. "you- you look…"

your cheeks redden at his loss of words. "you don't clean up too bad yourself, cameron."

he smiles at your use of his last name as a nickname, and holds the red roses in his hand out to you. "these are for you."

"you already got me flowers this morning, you know," you joke, taking the bouquet from him. your mom was gonna be pleased to know rafe was back to filling up all her flower vases.

"i know, but…" he trails off. "you deserve the best."

the blush on your cheeks deepen at his words. "give me a second," you turn to walk back towards the living room, and set the bouquet down on the coffee table in front of your parents. "don't wait up."

they don't even get a word in before you're walking away again to join rafe outside.

"shall we?" you ask, looking up at him through your lashes, as you closed the door behind you.

"just… one more thing," a sly smile comes across his lips, as he reaches into his back pocket to pull out a black blindfold.

you stare at it, your mouth agape. "you're kidding, right?"

he shrugs, "i want it to be a surprise."

you groan, but give in anyway. "fine. but if i trip in these heels because i can't see where i'm going, consider us broken up for good."

he laughs at the threat, even though a part of him was afraid you still wouldn't forgive him after tonight. "you know i won't let that happen. turn around."

you do as he says, and he ties the blindfold around your eyes, before taking your hand in his and leading you down the driveway towards his car parked up on the curb. he opens the door for you, and carefully helps you into the passenger seat, before closing the door and rounding the car to get in the driver's seat.

the second the engine comes on, your romantic taylor swift playlist plays through the car's speakers.

"you didn't," you say. he would always complain when you had aux because she was all you'd ever play.

"i guess she's not too bad," rafe shrugs, chuckling as you began singing along to the lyrics of wildest dreams.

rafe continued driving through the island for another ten or fifteen minutes, before he finally pulled the car to a stop in front of his family's beach house on the edge of figure eight, completely secluded from everything else.

he gets out of the car first, and helps you out, taking your hand in his to lead you through the house and out to the back porch.

"are you ready?" he leans in towards your ear, and goosebumps rise along your skin at his proximity.

you nod, and he reaches his hands up to the back of your head to untie the blindfold.

it takes a little while for your eyes to adjust, but once they do, a feeling of warmness fills your heart at the sight in front of you.

red rose petals were scattered in the sand of the private beach, along with fairy lights, a candlelit table for two set up in the center of it all, as acoustic instrumentals of taylor's best love songs played through the speaker situated on the porch.

"you like it?" he asked.

you turn your head to look at him. "rafe, i… it's perfect."

"that's what i was going for," he shrugs smugly, and nods his head towards the set up. "come on."

you both remove your shoes, before he takes your hand in his again and leads you down the back porch to the table in the middle of the beach.

"i can't believe you did this for me," you say, as he pulls a chair out for you to sit in.

"i'd do anything for you," he smiles, taking the seat across from you once you're seated.

—

after a three course dinner and a bottle of wine, which was all served to the both of you by a waiter that rafe hired from the country club, the night slowly came to an end, an endless amount of stars filling the night sky above you.

but while you were focused on the stars, rafe was focused on you.

"god, you're beautiful," he says, causing you to look at him now.

you chuckle, "shut up."

"no, i'm fucking serious," he replied, standing up from his seat.

you watched him carefully as he walked over to you, and held a hand out.

you glance at his hand and tilt your head up at him, "what are you doing?"

"dance with me," he says.

"you're asking me to dance?" you raise a brow at him.

"mhm," he nods. "you gonna say yes?"

"well how can i say no?" you reply, a small smile forming on your lips as you put your hand in his.

he leads you a few feet away from the table, and rests a firm hand on your waist, as you trail a hand up to his shoulder.

he locks his eyes with yours as you both begin swaying to taylor's timeless, and scans your face.

"what?"

he shakes his head, "i don't deserve you..."

"rafe…"

"but i'm gonna do everything i can to make sure i become the kind of guy who does," he cuts me off. "i want to be better, y/n. not only for you, but for myself too."

you smile, and pull him closer, your hand snaking to the back of his head.

"i'm sorry for being such an ass the last few months," he says, and you close my eyes, taking the moment in as he continues. "i know i haven't deserved all the chances you've given me, but i'm not gonna disappoint you again. i want to be the guy you think i am."

you pull away, just enough to have your eyes lock with his.

"you are that guy, rafe," you tell him, and you mean it. "you just need to let him show more."

he smiles, "you're pretty damn amazing, you know that?"

"so i've been told," you shrug jokingly.

he chuckles. "i love you, y/n."

"i love you too."

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33

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#rafe cameron #rafe #rafe obx #rafe outerbanks #obx #outerbanks #outer banks #cute rafe #boyfriend rafe #cute rafe cameron #rafe x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x reader #boyfriend rafe cameron

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sh0tanzz · 1 month

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is it me or do i like men groveling

can i request riize second chance romance if that makes sense:’)

(ur work is amazing pls continie keeping us happy^^)

i love groveling men too it’s ok anon 😗

RIIZE SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE ~ based on their birth charts

reminder this is just based off of my opinion after looking at their birth charts and what I think would happen from my own observations these things are not exact fact unless they said it themselves !

Shotaro

SO MUCH ANGST OOOH MY GOF. Would be the most mature on the outside but on the inside he’d be ☹️☹️☹️. “I don’t even care about what she’s doing” [checked your instagram and other socials to see if you’re grieving as well or seeing someone new] He wouldn’t necessarily go out dating looking for a rebound he’d focus on his craft in all honesty and might even seclude himself a little bit. I see him taking a break with his s/o instead of just flatline breaking up and once he feels like he has emotionally healed as far as he can he’d return and it would be pretty serious like in a private closed space he’d want to talk everything out and NEEEDS you to be honest abt everything but he’d just want you guys back together and for both of you to be happy.

Eunseok

(I feel like Eunseok is aware that he could potentially fall victim to the “the one that got away” trope) but anyway. He’d be the biggest nonchalanter to ever nonchalant 😭 might even try to stay mutuals/cordial with you. Would date, see other people, have a mini roster and fwbs going on. But as soon as he realizes everyone else is boring him and wasting his oh so valuable time (And he hates. To waste his time.) he’d get so irritated at himself for letting go of such a good thing and would criticize criticIZE CRITICIZEE himself. Forces himself to not run from/internalize how he feels he’d reach out again, wouldn’t be the most sappy return ever he might even joke about what happened but he’d be as honest as he could ever be and would surprisingly admit where he fucked up.

Sungchan

His pride and the hurt he carried during the time apart would hold him back so badly. Would improve himself and boss up similar to Shotaro to show you what you were missing; try to find attention and praise elsewhere. But when he realizes you did the same thing and also became better in every way possible physically, mentally…and that people still have their eye on you like they did when he first met you..he’d cave. Would HAVE to shamefully put his hurt and pride aside. Cue his dramatic serious text at 11pm and him asking how you’re doing to see if the good things he’s heard about you were true (prays you say no when he asks if you’re seeing anyone) would ask you to meet him somewhere that was important to you two and nostalgic. Almost kills him to be wrong but has to accept it 😭

Wonbin

He’d be like “whatever” since he knows that so many girls want to be in your place, might even consider sliding back to that one ex. Would be torn between just letting things go back to normal but his stubborn stagnant attitude would leave him stuck in a victim state. But then once the pain slowlyyy seeps in and that what you two had was something genuine and you were one of few people that actually understood him and physically compatible with him then on the inside he’d lose it. Would have a wayyy more sappy lovey dovey way of coming back. Cue him using music in some way shape or form as his way of coming back. Would probably want to physically see you in a place that he’s most comfortable with.

Seunghan

So so sassy. Honestly he’d walk away pretty fast but would miss you pretty fast right after. He’d hesitate but only because he knows that he probably got a little mean when you two split and that you might not even want to talk to him. Tries to go dating around but wakes up and gets it together once he sees/hears that you’re talking to someone new (10 extra points if it’s someone he doesn’t like or thinks isn’t even close to how attractive he is ) . Tries to be cool about it but is hurting inside, would ask everyone for advice. The emotional side would take over and he’d just have to listen to how he feels and think later. His way of coming back is essentially him outdoing whoever has you on their sights or him showing you the epitome of affection. He’d have to force his virgo mercury to work and speak UP and apologize.

Sohee

Would seem pretty ok and normal compared to everyone else similarly to Eunseok. Talks about you but wants to jump someone if THEY try to talk about you. (“can’t believe she’d do this” “yea she’s crazy asf” “Don’t say that 🫤.” ). (Cue him singing “When I was your man” by Bruno Mars 😭). He wouldn’t want to constrict and limit himself or you after the breakup so he’d also try to date/talk to other people. Has to give in and accept that thinking about you while hanging out with someone else is a CLEAR indicator that he needs to get off his high horse and return. He’d probably word vomit about how he feels about everything and apologize but also goes on this passive lecture on how you two shouldn’t allow each others feelings to rip you two apart like that again and the principle of it all.

Anton

Word vomit pt.2. Could go two ways. Way one if the breakup was on good terms/mutual after the breakup he’d probably remain friends or still be in contact with you, then once he realizes he can’t just move on at the snap of his fingers and realizes that every person he’s with has resemblance to you whether it’s physical/personality he’d impulsively talk to you and get right back if he can. If it was on bad terms it’d feel pretty cruel ngl like you’d feel like he kinda just disappeared and made his way elsewhere..but once he’s alone with his thoughts he’d have to realize the errors of his way or the faults on his side he’d IMPULSIVELY come forwards with how he feels, would probably ask you to dinner and have the conversation there and says everything that he has to.

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bigfatbimbo · 1 month

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UGAHHHHHHGHGHHHHH IM HAVING SUCH AN INTENSE MOMENT RIGHT NOW

IM GOING CRAZY AND THIS IS MY OUTLET!! ANYWAYS RIVAL LUTE REQUESTS, ANYONE?

ANGST, FLUFF, SMUT, IM DOWN IM JUST HUNGRY FOR RIVAL LUTE AND THIS PLAYLISTS SONGS ARENT HELPING

I LOVE SAPPHIC RIVALS WITH LUTE I NEED IT RIGHT NOW I NEEED IT 🙏🙏

#shut the fuck up #i hate the voices #RAHHH #IM #FUCK #UGHHHHH ANGRY #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #anyways gang leave requests before i explode myself or others around me #calm down ellie wtf are you talking about #sorry tumblr #taking this down the second i get a request because what am i talking about #some things i need to keep to mysef #i’ve had very confusing feelings today #(for years of my life)#SHUT THE FUCK UP??? DO U EVER STOP TALKING #i think i need sleep

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meerkatzthings · 2 months

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yall know i love smut more than anything but i NEEED more heart shattering angst. like the typa angst that will rip my heart out and stomp it out

#meerkatz 🦎#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #angst #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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hongthoven · 8 days

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Okay, hi my love <3

I can´t stop thinking about Yuyu and Mingi and my brain is like, CRAVING for fluff. Just cuddling or going on a walk and all that stinking cute, tooth rottingly cute fluff. imagine the reader beind shorter and them just being her protectors and best friends or boyfriends and them just showing her how important she is for them!

I´m alreay tearing up at the thought of them (or any of ateez for that matter) proposing to them in the cutest ways and i´m just... yeah, i´m sobbing. it´s a neeed <3

LOVE YOUUUUUU <3

i hope you´ll have an amazing day, my cutie patootie <3

Hi Kittykat ♥

I didn't think this through and fluff isn't my typical comfort zone so I'm sorry if that's terrible, but here's my attempt at fulfiling your needs for some cute comforting moment with Mingi.

Slight angst at the beginning, if that calls for a tw.

Love you ♥ @bethelighthalazia

I doesn’t take more than this for Mingi to immediately call you, cutting the texting short so he can hear your voice, looking for any sign of a breakdown. He knows every crack, every change in your tone and years of friendship have given him the luxury of anticipating that kind of conversations.

« Is it about that jerk again ? » Mingi’s voice is a little hoarse but soft as ever and you can’t help but sigh as soon as it wraps you up into an invisible blanket. While he has been trying his best to keep your mind off of your ex boyfriend, Mingi knows just how much you can get into your own thoughts sometimes, digging your own grave.

You’ve been laying in bed for hours now, spiraling into your darkest thoughts, hating yourself for the most and reminiscing the last time you have felt truly loved and desired, failing to pinpoint the exact moment. It is definitely « one of those days » you typically brush off, unwilling to make a big deal out of it but sadly settling into a pathetic routine.

A pity party you never asked for but still seem to secretely crave.

« No, it’s not » only half a lie. You have been thinking about him, but not quite as much lately.

« I was just wondering why no one ever loves me enough to stay, that’s all » while you’re aware of just how sad you must sound right now, there’s a sense of comfort and safety in your friendship with Mingi that makes i tokay for you to just blurt out anything coming to your mind, including your deepest secrets.

« What about me ? What about Yunho ? »

« I love you both dearly but… you’re my best-friends »

« And ? You don’t feel loved around us ? »

« God, Mingi… You just don’t get it… Nevermind » you sigh, a little hurt not to hear precisely what you need from him at that exact moment. Of course, your childhood best-friend being the stubborn man he is now, isn’t keen on giving up that easily.

« Why don’t you explain it to me then ? »

There’s a knock on the door and you’re suddenly aware of your current state. Hair messily wrapped into a bun, rotting in your pjs and you’re pretty sure your face looks like it hasn’t seen a ray of sunshine in days but still, nothing compares to the absolute shock of seeing Mingi standing in front of your door as soon as you reluctantly fling it open.

« I was in the neighborhood » he shrugs with a smile, ending the call as you stare at him in disbelief with your phone still tapped to your ear. You had noticed the traffic sound in the background earlier and while you could perfectly picture your best-friend walking around the city, heading to god-knows-where as he tried his best to cheer you up, you were nowhere near prepared to have him showing up at your door within ten minutes.

« So what is this all about ? » he adds as you remain with your back against the door for a while, nervous to put some actual words on your insecurities. But as Mingi walks closer to you with his typical gummy smile, his dimple digging into the flesh of his cheek as a reminder of the safe place you have found in this man, nothing seems too unbearable anymore.

« I just… don’t feel desirable lately… »

« That’s bullshit »

« Excuse me ? »

« You are desirable »

« Oh yeah, says who ? »

« I just said so, didn’t I »

« That’s not… »

« The same ? Yeah I know » he adds, his arms pulling you into a hug as you almost face plant into his chest. Sometimes, you tend to forget just how much taller he actually is, and though it’s not that obvious when you two are heading out while you perch yourself on some nice heels, today is quite the opposite. Standing on your tippy toes, you fail to even reach his shoulder and settle for the warmth of his chest against your cheek.

« You know you’re beautiful, right ? »

You nod, not entirely convinced but still appreciative of Mingi’s efforts to boost your confidence through his typical praises. You’ve been here before, seeking shelter into his arms while he tries his absolute best to cheer you up and though you would never admit it, there’s something about the way he looks at you, the intensity of his gaze almost burning through your skin, like there’s nothing left around for him to see but you, that makes you feel a little too special. More than you intend to be.

The sun has been replaced by a pitch black sky outside and the late hours of the night only occurs to you when you wake up, dizzy still, into the heated comfort of Mingi’s embrace. With his arm around you, your leg snaked around his hip as he rests lazily on the couch, the arm that isn’t keeping you safe simply settled behind his head as an extra pillow, Mingi only seems half-absorbed with the movie playing on tv, his attention caught with the very first flinch of your body against his.

« Well hello there, sleeping beauty » he smirks, immediately pressing his lips to your hair and you hate the way your skin reacts to a simple touch, shivers running down your spine as the warmth of his breath hits the back of your neck.

« How do you feel ? Any better ? » Mingi’s eyes are filled with a mix of worry and adoration, his palm reaching for your cheek to stroke it softly.

« Much better » you pause, reminiscing your prior breakdown « sorry ‘bout that ».

« Don’t you dare apologizing » his thumb hooks under your chin, forcing you to tilt your head upwards to meet his gaze, the intimacy of a simple gesture sending mixed signals to your brain though you decide to ignore those.

« I love you, don’t you ever doubt it » his lips find yours through a quick peck, nothing you haven’t done before but today, you feel him linger for a bit longer than usual, his fingers almost pushing into the plush flesh of your cheeks as you close your eyes to bask in the moment.

#request♥#Kittykat♥#mingi x reader #mingi fluff #that is very much a soft blurb #ateez fluff

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bonny-kookoo · 10 months

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i neeed a drabble of yoongi biting mc i neeeeedd the angst the tsundereeeeee pleassssseeeeee

It had been happening all too quickly. Maybe it was a combination of things; a bad cocktail mixed from both his sickness and his lack of control over his reactions, flavored with the bitter taste of the fa t that he just entirely betrayed your trust and threw all of your kindness in your face with that action.

And the worst part is, you're not even doing anything. You just watch as the red dots of blood grow from the puncture wounds of his teeth in your forearm, before they trickle down, and drop onto the fluffy pink carpet in front of the couch.

"Oh.." you just say, before looking back at him. "I'm.. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was too pushy." You gently apologize, and he feels horrible. You didn't do anything wrong- he was being unnecessarily lazy and grumpy at you for just asking what he wanted to eat today. That was no excuse for lashing out like that just because you tried shaking him awake.

You're supposed to scold him. Be angry. Yell at him, or maybe even cry like you always do. But you don't.

You just accept it, and he hates it.

He hates that you're so soft and gentle and careful and sweet- because he himself doesn't know how to do that. Even as he gets up and tugs your injured arm to the kitchenette connecting to the living room area, you're still not complaining even though he knows he must be hurting you.

Even as he washes your blood away with trembling hands with what he's aware are way too rough motions, you don't complain. Or say anything, really, for a long time.

"Yoongi?" You wonder quietly, as he makes sure he cleans the wound thoroughly. His kind, after all, has specific bacteria in their saliva meant to weaken prey so it'll go down even if it does escape. "Yoongi." You say again, but he shakes his head, bites his bottom lip as he concentrates on making sure he flushes everything well. "Yoongi, hey-" you finally say, turning off the faucet of the sink to cut his erratic behavior off. "You're fine." You say.

"You-" he shakes his head. "Phone.. we need- call. Call doctor- need to look at." He motions to your arm, grabbing a paper towel to have you press it down on the still bleeding wound, skin red and irritated. If from the bite, or his senseless rubbing, he isn't sure.

"Yoongs you have to calm down first." You say, so kindly, and he hates it.

"Be angry!" He barks because of that, taking a step away from you. "Angry!" He demands, but you shake your head.

"Why would I be angry?" You wonder. "I overstepped, and earned the consequences. Nothing bad happened." You deny, but he shakes his head.

"Be angry." He asks of you, more quietly now. "..please." He adds, not looking at you- rather staring to the side, faint taste of your blood on his tongue disgusting. "Dont be kind." He shakes his head.

"Why not?" You wonder, dabbing the paper towel at your wound.

"I don't.. just don't." He shrugs, frustrated. "Doctor. Now." He demands, but you shake your head, and have the audacity to laugh.

"No, maybe tomorrow if it gets bad. For now I'll put one of my bigger plasters on it, it's fine." You shrug. "A tiny little bite isn't a big deal." You simply say, walking into the bathroom to fetch said plasters from the cabinet- pink and purple ones with animals on them.

Yoongi watches from the doorway how you put them on, unsure what to do now.

"Do you wanna nap some more while I cook?" You ask, but he shakes his head. "What do you wanna do then? Order in? That might be faster.." you hum to yourself, closing the cabinet- his face right behind the door of it, making you jump. "Geez, Yoongi what did I say about that stalking thing you do-" you start, before you're suddenly engulfed in a very awkward, but gentle hug.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles into your neck.

"I know." You nod, and he nods back, holding you a bit more properly now. "I'm sorry too." You tell him.

"I know." He answers-

Holding you a bit longer as he decides that he should maybe be a little more kind to you from now on.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #yoongi imagine #min yoongi imagines #yoongi imagines #alien yoongi

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bellysoupset · 5 months

Note

eeeee I'm so excited for more Luke-centric bromance whump!! I neeed it!

I have a general scenario that has been rattling around in my head:

Luke eating too much with the guys (maybe he's a little tipsy and his eyes are bigger than his belly, or maybe he and Bell got in an argument and he's trying to bury his hurt feelings with so much pasta) and getting a belly rub when it becomes obvious how uncomfortably stuffed he is. I love the frenemies vibe between him and Jonah, but I feel like it would have to be a true emergency for Jonah to rub Luke's tummy, ya know lol

Anyway, I can't wait to see what you do with everyone next!!!

You're right about Jonah, so I went with second best, Luke/Vin self indulgent bromance, with a splash of angst 💛

---------

"How come you have all these clothes and I only ever see you wearing the same five shirts?" Lucas asked as Vince dumped yet another box of his stuff in his arms.

Vin shrugged, "I'm a consistent man," he said cheekily, before turning around and assessing his dorm, making sure nothing was being left behind. He wasn't quite moving in with Wendy, they hadn't exactly discussed it long term, but she had invited him to stay over for the remainder of the year, so he didn't have to worry about that for the holidays.

If Vin was honest, he knew Wendy wanted him to move in, she had made it pretty damn clear, he just... It was complicated.

Luke was in the middle of the hallway of the dorm building, holding the box still and pouting. Whatever he was pouting over, Vince didn't know, but he knew Luke could never quite bitch in silence and it'd come up soon enough.

"All done?" he asked and Vince nodded, tucking a box under his arm and shutting the dorm door behind him. It was snowing like crazy outside and even in the forty minutes it had taken them to strip his dorm room naked, Lucas' car had already gotten covered in snow.

They dumped the remaining boxes in the backseat and Vince shuddered as he sat on the passenger side, slamming the door closed and starting the car, so the heat would start back up. He pressed his hands to the air vents, even with the wool gloves they were freezing, and shivered again as Luke opened the driver's door to get in.

"Ugh, I hate the cold," Vince whined and Lucas let out a noise in agreement. Luke always was clean shaven and today his cheeks were an angry red due to the cold, which paired with his pout made him look like a teenager.

They didn't chat much during the drive to Wen's building and Vince immediately jumped out of the car as his friend parked behind his bike, so they could get the boxes. He bounced on his feet, trying to warm up.

"Do you wanna stick around for lunch?"

"What about Wendy?"

"What about Wendy?" Vince frowned, grabbing two boxes with one hand, while with the other he threw a duffle bag around his shoulder, "she's not even in, she went out with Barbie and Meghan to celebrate the end of the semester."

"Ah..." Lucas piled up the remaining boxes in his arms and successfully shielded his face from view, "well, if I'm not going to impose..."

"Since when do you care about that?" Vince asked, following him to the elevators, "and since when is it imposing? It's Wendy, man."

Instead of answering him, Luke only shrugged, causing Vin to glare at his back. He joined him inside the elevator and pressed the button, shivering again.

"I'm thinking soup," he said and was even more frustrated when there was no quip back from his best friend. Vince bumped his shoulder with Luke's, "hello? Anyone home?"

"I'm listening to you," the other man groaned.

"So soup alright? No complaints?"

"Do whatever you want, Vin."

Vince's heart squeezed a little bit, he hated to see Lucas upset. Or rather, just how sad he sounded.

"What's wrong, Luke? Did you and Bell have a fight?"

"Uhm? No," Lucas shook his head, leaning forward so he could rest his chin on top of one of the boxes, "no, Bell and I are fine."

"Then what-" the elevator came to a stop and interrupted him, but Vince didn't drop the conversation, walking backwards towards Wen's red door and struggling to unlock it, "what's wrong? You're acting weird."

"Nothing's wrong," Lucas scoffed, "where do I put this?"

"You can just leave it in living room, I'll sort this with Wen later," Vince gestured for him, while walking ahead to the bedroom so he could dump his bag on top of the bed and the two boxes he had been carrying, "I don't buy nothing is wrong."

"Can you not?" Lucas grumbled, hugging himself and pulling on his thick sweater. Vince squeezed his shoulder, circling him as he walked to the kitchen.

"Cheer up, Luke, we're no longer in college. Finals are all done. Life is great," Vince said brightly, opening the fridge so he could grab the ingredients to make soup and mentally starting to list down what he had to get in the next grocery trip.

"Are you excited about moving in with Wendy?" Lucas leaned against the stove and Vince scoffed, grabbing his elbow and pulling him closer, before shoving a peeler in his hands and a sack of potatoes.

"Help around, would you?" he asked, amusing himself on how much he sounded like his mother. He started to mince the garlic, "I mean, I'm not moving in with her, not like, really and I've been pretty much here all of the last month but-"

"I got it," Luke interrupted him, sounding twice as bothered as before, angrily peeling the potatoes. Vince frowned, confused, but opted for not saying anything.

They prepared the food in silence, safe for Vince shoving Lucas out of the way and telling him to do things, then walked back to the living room, Vin turning up the television to fill in for the weird awkward silence.

"Ma texted me yesterday," Vince said, filling up both their plates and walking back to the living room, with Lucas hot in his heels, "she said you, Bell, Jon and Leo have to come spend Christmas with us. Wendy already said she's coming," he rolled his eyes fondly, starting to eat, "she didn't ask, by the way, she bossed you to show up."

Lucas opened a small smile, while wolfing down his plate, "your mom is a sweetheart," he tore into the bread, taking a bite of it without any sauce and slurping on the soup immediately after, "but we can't."

"You and Bella already have plans?"

Luke cringed, shrugging, "not quite. My father demanded we spend Christmas with him and I can't exactly tell him to fuck off this time around. Bella is only alive because he got the damn specialist, I can't- I can't say no."

"No, I get it. It's a great excuse, even my mom won't be able to be mad at it," Vince snorted, "does Bell know?"

"She does and she's not happy about it, believe me," Lucas grumbled, finishing up his plate and getting up to get more, while Vince raised his eyebrows.

"Damn, you're starving."

"Yeah," Lucas said loudly from the kitchen, before walking back to the table, "and I think Leo and Jon are going to spend with us too."

Vince paused, lowering his own spoon. Lucas and Bell he understood, but Jonah and Leo...?

"With... Your dad...?" he said slowly and Luke shook his head.

"No, Jon's dad. Who lives down the block from my father," he rolled his eyes, "I don't even know, don't ask me. Jonah said Jackie texted about Christmas too, so that's a whole other can of worms."

"I always forget you two grew up together," Vince said, trying to keep the jealousy from his voice. It wasn't that he didn't like that Lucas had other friends or that he didn't love Jonah, he just didn't like being reminded that Jon and Luke had twenty years of shared history he'd never know enough of.

"I wish I could forget," Luke scoffed, pausing halfway through his second plate to muffle a burp against his hand, "have you met Jackie?"

Vince opened a cheeky smile, "besides that playboy mag I used to ha-AW-OW!" he giggled, as Lucas kicked him from under the table, "that hurts!"

"Don't be fucking gross about her," Luke wrinkled his nose, in disgust, "I've known the woman since I was in diapers, shut up."

"I thought you hated her," Vince groaned, rubbing his ankle and Lucas shrugged.

"I don't hate her, I just don't like her. She never gave a flying fuck about Jon and then she got married again and suddenly is all my-darling-boy this, my-sweetheart that. Mother of the fucking year."

Vince raised his eyebrows at the bitter words, then noticed Luke's plate was nearly empty again, "Jesus, one would think you're being starved at home, Luke. Pace yourself, there's plenty."

"Shut up, it's good," Lucas pouted, digging back in, "you're gonna meet her Friday, at the graduation. You'll know what I mean."

"What about Jon's dad?"

"What about Jasper?" he used a piece of bread to clear the plate, wiping the porcelain of the rest of the soup.

"Does he suck too?" Vince was very entertained, even if Jonah would have his head if he knew they were gossiping about him.

"I mean, he's friends with my dad, so that goes without saying," Lucas chuckled dryly, "but at least he doesn't... He doesn't pretend like Jackie does."

Vince had his doubts Jackie was actually pretending and mostly he was taken back by Luke's unsympathetic take on the woman. If anything he expected the opposite, for Luke to hate Jon's dad, not his mother.

"Wasn't Jackie friends with your mom?" he asked softly and if he expected any response, he didn't get one, aside from Luke muffling another burp against his hand and glaring at his now empty plate.

Vin finished up his own soup, basking in the warmth that was spreading all over him. He sat back in the chair, "are you gonna spill about what have you in such a shitty mood, Luke?"

Lucas shrugged, his face all blushed, "I'm not-"

"I know you," Vince glared at him, kicking him lightly from under the table, "c'mooon... Is it because I'm moving in with Wen? Because it kinda looks like it is and-"

"No," Luke shook his head, before grimacing, planting a hand on his stomach and rubbing it over the thick sweater, "maybe. I don't know."

"You don't know," Vince squinted at him, "what does that mean?"

"I- I'm gonna get more food," Luke decided, instead of answer, forcing himself up, "do you want more?"

"You really should-"

His friend didn't wait for the chastising, instead he picked up Vince's empty plate, then moved back into the kitchen. Faintly Vince could hear him moving around, punctuated by some soft, dainty burps.

He walked back, with a permanent grimace on now and Vince lazily stirred the soup, waiting for Lucas to sit back down so he could continue the conversation. He wasn't gonna let the other man dodge his way out of this one.

"So? You're angry because I'm moving in with Wen?" he asked, watching Lucas force himself to continue eating, unimpressed by him.

"I'm not angry that you're moving in with Wendy. I love Wendy, she's great," Lucas said, glaring at his plate instead of meeting Vince's eyes. The other man let out a chuckle.

"Okay, try that one again, but mean it," he teased, "Lucas?"

"I'm not-" Luke forced himself to look up, "I'm not angry, okay? I like Wendy, I really do, I like- I think you're super happy with her. I think this is great."

"But...?" Vince frowned, confused. He sounded genuine, "what is it? I'm not gonna be mad, I swear..."

Lucas let out a groan, clutching at his stomach and he annoyedly pushed his plate away, so he could rest his forehead to the table and burp at his lap, "hold on."

"You didn't eat that much," Vince squinted, suspicious this was all acting so Luke could get out of the conversation. His friend groaned, rocking slightly on the chair.

"Ate too... UURghp- Too fast," he moaned, clutching at his middle and pushing back from the table, getting up and bracing against the chair. Vince frowned, despite his doubts, Lucas' face had turned a sickly shade of white.

"Are you gonna hurl....?"

"No-" Luke pressed a hand to his mouth, muffling a string of wet belches, "maybe."

"Goddammit, Luke-"

"I just need a moment," he panted quietly, rubbing at his stomach, "really, it's fine, just-"

"C'mere," Vince abandoned his half empty second plate, grabbing his best friend's arm and tugging him to the couch in the living room area, "sit down."

Lucas grimaced as he plopped down in the couch, cupping one hand over his mouth and letting out a sickly belch that had Vince jumping up to scramble and find a recipient. Luckily, nothing came up.

"I'm not gonna puke," he groaned, as Vince sped to the laundry room and returned with a cute little bucket, decorated with tulips.

"Just like you're not mad?" Vince teased, handing him the bucket, "c'mere, let me rub your stomach. You fucking baby."

Luke didn't fight him at all, promptly falling on his side, so his head could rest on Vince's thigh, "I'm not angry, okay? Or jealous."

"Uhm," Vince rolled his eyes, running fingers through his friend's hair and then planting a hand on his stomach. He cringed, Luke's belly that had been flat not even one hour before, was now tout and warm to the touch, churning up a storm, "so what's the matter?"

Lucas muffled a sickly little burp against his leg, groaning, "I just... Are you- You're not moving in with Wendy, so what are you doing?"

Taken back by the out of the blue questioning, Vince frowned, pausing the belly rub, "uhm... I'm gonna spend the holidays with Wen and start hunting for a place in February, that's the plan... Why? Why are you upset over this, I don't-"

"Here?" Lucas asked, forcing himself up on the couch so he could look at Vince. There were visible pained lines in his face and he hugged his midsection, throat bobbing dangerously, "are you gonna hunt for a place here?"

"I..." Vince paused, feeling guilt wash all over him. All evening he had been thinking Lucas was being jealous and silly, but in reality he just knew Vince better than anyone, "I'm not sure, Luke..."

"Figured," Lucas scoffed, then reached for the bucket, moving on the couch so he was not pressed next to Vin and leaning over it, gagging fruitlessly. He hugged his stomach, panting and then flinched when Vin tried planting a hand on his back, "don't."

"Don't be like that, Luke," Vince whined, moving closer regardless, rubbing his back, "look, I'm not - There's nothing set, okay? I'm just considering it..."

"And you weren't gonna say anything," Lucas scoffed, his voice echoing inside the bucket, before he let out a moan and spat the saliva pooling in his mouth. His tummy let out a loud, upset growl and he belched, clutching his belly, "does Wendy know?"

Vince shook his head, guilt churning his own stomach, "there's nothing to tell her..."

"Coward," Luke groaned, squeezing the bucket, "she's your fucking girlfriend, if you plan on leaving town, you should at least fucking tell her."

Vince winced at the snappish response and continued to rub his friend's back, ignoring Luke trying to push his hand away, "it's not like that, dude. Not at all, I'm gonna talk with Wendy, I -"

Lucas interrupted him, letting out a sudden heave and then a gush of soup splattered inside of the bucket. He let out a whimper, curling up on himself, "fuck..."

"Feel better though?" Vince asked in a small, pathetic voice, his heart squeezing. He hated the idea that he had, somehow, caused Lucas to feel this awful, even if rationally he was aware it was simply because his best friend decided to chug soup instead of eating normally.

"No," Luke scoffed, but planted the bucket down and hugged himself, scooting further away from Vince, until his back met the other couch arm. He curled up, "I can't believe you weren't gonna say anything."

"I was!" Vince cried out, lurching so he could sit closer again. The space between them, of mere ten inches, felt like too much, "I am gonna talk with Wendy and I was gonna talk with you, there's just nothing to tell for now, I'm still just... Just thinking about-"

"About leaving," Lucas groaned, bringing his knees to his chest, "and I knew it the minute you said you didn't want to move in with Wen."

"I never said that," Vince rolled his eyes, "I said I'm already half moved in, don't-"

"I don't want you to leave," Luke groaned, "I know it's not gonna be now, but I don't... You're my best friend, please don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere," Vince stressed, frustrated and planting a hand on Luke's arm, tugging him closer, "c'mere, lie down-"

"No, stop-"

"Come here," Vince scoffed, grabbing him tightly and forcing Lucas to lie against his side, "I'm not going anywhere for now, okay? I'm just considering other options, that's all."

"Don't though," Luke whined, pressing his head to Vince's shoulder, "please."

Vince's heart broke in a bunch of little pieces and he forced his eyes on a spot on the wall across from them, forcing out a breath, "let me rub your stomach, that can't be feeling good."

Wordlessly he felt Luke slide down, so he could resume to the position where his head was resting on Vince's lap and his best friend's hand resting on his stomach. He sniffled and Vin pretended not to hear and that his eyes weren't burning either.

"Don't tell Wendy? Not yet?"

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," Lucas sighed, "but you're breaking my heart."

#mywriting #sickfic #emetophilia #emeto #lucas atwood #angst #back in my groove #tummy rubs

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aftgficrec · 10 months

Note

oooof i neeed long and angsty preferably newer ones like i need to entertain myself for a bit <3 it's okay either incomplete or complete works!

Well, friend, what kind of angst are you looking for? Heavy angst, mild angst, emotional/physical angst, angst with a happy ending? This fandom delights in angst! I think we’ve probably got a bit of everything here for you, even if it isn’t all brand new, including some excellent fics for other pairings than Andreil. Take your pick! - S

A small selection from previous posts:

Long angsty Andreil here

Long dark Andreil here

‘Oakland’ and ‘Lifeline’ here (since updated)

‘Birds of a Feather’ (recently updated), ‘Innominate’ (since updated) and ‘Die Free or Die a Failure’ (now complete) here

‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ here

‘Stranger To Stay’ (since updated) here

‘Inked Truths’ series here

‘Joseph’ series here

‘not your homeland anymore’ here

‘North Star’ (now complete) here

‘L’Amour parle en fleurs’ here

‘Black As Is The Raven, He’ll Get A Partner’ here

‘I Will Always Choose You’ (now complete) and ‘Comeback’ here

‘Not Damsels, Not Knights’ here

‘Make A Believer Out Of Me’ here

‘Pause and Restart My Heart’ series here

‘The Bones of You’ here

‘Back to the Start’ here

‘Sixteen hours’ (jerejean) here

‘Aurora’ (jerejean) here (part 1 of Rhapsody: Exile series - part 2 is also complete, part 3 in progress)

‘The Heart and the Knife’ (Matt/Aaron) here

Purely in order of (currently) longest to shortest:

Deals With Devils by ToadlilyAUs [Rated M, 142394 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Neil is on the run with his mother for three years before his father catches up to them. And after finally being handed off to The Ravens his life is never the same. After three more years of brutal training and abuse at the hands of Riko and Tetsuji, his life is changed yet again on the day Kevin Day runs away to the foxes, leaving him and Jean Moreau behind to suffer the consequences. Six more heinous months after that, in the summer before his long promised debut, he's finally allowed to leave the nest...but he's still anything but free. As the list of friends and allies grows, so too does his list of problems. How much of himself is he willing to give away to keep the people who matter to him safe? And how many lies and secrets can he stack on top of one another before his house of cards comes crumbling down?

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: blood/gore

don't break the glass by cracklingamber [Rated E, 103707 words, complete, 2023]

Part 1 of the glass series

“Who even are you?” Neil blinked at him with those perfect, blue eyes. Andrew became very aware of Neil’s weight at that moment and dropped him. Neil bounced back on the bed and yelped. “I’m the guy who is going to go take a shower and you’re the guy who is going to wait patiently for Kevin to come tend to your needs,” Andrew said. He gestured down to Neil’s blanket covered body. “Whatever this is, is above my pay grade.” [AFTG Crime AU that takes place in Baltimore where the Foxes and Raven's are opposing gangs. Neil escapes the Nest and falls for Andrew, but Riko will do anything to get him back. Kevin and Aaron tumble headlong into a secret relationship and Jeremy Knox fixes a very broken Jean Moreau.]

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced drug use, tw: explicit sexual content

NB: fanart by by @/masslowart on instagram

Not Yours To Bleed by Coffeexandxangst [Rated E, 90858 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

The Pros were never in the cards. Not for an ex-medicated alleged psychotic with a dysfunctional family and an Exy career he’d rather not have. But even if it wasn't his first choice, no matter what happens, it can’t possibly be worse than that one fucked up sophomore year when he stood toe to toe with the Yakuza-and won. At least, that’s what Andrew thinks until a familiar face shows up. Another Raven!Neil AU. Or, the one where the boys don’t meet until the Pros.

tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: eating disorders, tw: torture, tw: nightmares

I can feel you under my skin by ConventionalExy (Conventionals) [Rated E, 82619 words, incomplete, last updated April 2023]

Part 5 of the Our body series, part 1 here; part 3 here

Neil's second year brings changes. Things slow down and continue softer than they have ever been in his life, Andrew's at his side and they are working on being able to not be together 24/7, he can play Exy to his heart's content, he has a home, a family, a soulmate. He also has Jack and Sheena getting on his nerves, papers to write, Aaron's trial coming closer with each passing day, paranoid habits to break, ghosts to fight when he closes his eyes at night and real-people things to consider like bank accounts and taxes and so. much. more. He also has Andrew, their roof, their bond, their kisses, their touches and the promise of a future that is theirs, to grow and play and live. But things are never that easy for Neil Josten, are they?

tw: violence, tw: depression, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: suicide attempt, tw: kidnapping, tw: torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: nightmares

turn out the lights by cielalune [Rated M, 70349 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Part 1 of the dark side of the moon series

"What do you think it means to be alive, Andrew?” “What?” "To be alive. Is it just to eat and breathe? Just survive? Because that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life, Andrew, and it doesn’t feel like enough. But I don’t know how to do more. We’re supposed to find meaning or something, right?” See: stupid fucking questions. Like Andrew hadn’t been wondering the same thing his whole life. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.” A The Last of Us AU of AFTG. Set five years after the breakout of Cordyceps, Andrew is tasked with bringing an enigma of a man across the country, who also may just happen to be the cure for humankind.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: minor character death, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: body horror

The Sun Still Rises by mordax [Rated E, 66087 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Somewhere on the road, Mary Hatford gets pregnant with her second child. When she passes, she leaves behind not only Neil, but his toddler brother. Survival is difficult without also raising a kid. Worn out and desperate, Neil still somehow ends up at Palmetto, only this time, he brings his four-year-old brother with him.

tw: violence, tw: anxiety, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse,

NB: find fanart for this fic by @elidanus on Twitter here

I No Longer Feel Things (I Know I Should) by Major_816 [Not Rated, 59095 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2023]

Part 2 of the Paralyzed series, part 1 here

Neil's back in Palmetto with the Foxes' triumph over the Raven's, time to see how much damage has been done. ~ “Yes.” He didn’t remember the car ride back. Were they back? He was in a car. Yes. He remembered bits. Things scattered, Remembered- Eighty percent. A bullet. Blood splatter and Riko’s expression. Watched until eyes fogged over with death. Did he watch that long? Must have. His mother used to say- He blinked. ~ The long-awaited Scared to Live sequel

tw: abuse, tw: violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: torture, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: self harm, tw: ptsd, tw: anxiety attacks, tw: eating disorders

Longing Distance by F_C_B [Not Rated, 57545 words, complete, 2023]

Post-canon short thought experiment. Andrew moves away to join his new team, Neil stays in Palmetto. How will being suddenly separated affect their relationship? Andrew's POV. Not Nora-note/canon accurate and might break your heart if you let it.

tw: depression, tw: major character injury

Broken Symmetries by puddlejumper99 [Rated M, 53648 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2023]

Reasons Neil had Died He cried too much as a baby, and his father made him stop He cried too much as a baby, and his mother tried to muffle the sound, and in her terror she silenced him for good His father wanted to hurt someone, and Neil was nearby The runners came for his mother, and they found him instead His mother hid him in a shack and left him alone as the heat soared They tried to run, and his father caught them They tried to run, and the runners caught them They ran, and they ran, and they ran, and they were still running and it didn’t matter, because his father would not stop, and he picked them off in one world after another until there was nowhere left to hide Reasons Neil had Lived He didn’t know, but there were eight

tw: violence, tw: torture, tw: temporary character death, tw: injuries

No More Fucks To Give by Wrotethis [Rated T, 53269 words, incomplete, last updated March 2023]

Neil rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. He’d get to play exy, eat regularly, and sleep somewhere with heating- presumably. Not a bad way to spend his last months. And hey, maybe his mother would come back from the dead and kill him herself if he went to Palmetto. Little victories. What if Neil gave up completely on making it through the year when he went to palmetto? What if Neil just did not give a single fuck? Maybe things would turn out better.

tw: violence, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced eating disorders

If Only I Were Enough by Lostintheuniverseslies [Rated M, 33189 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

After Andrew moves to Colorado to start his professional Exy career, he intends on everything being okay between him and Neil. But when his self-destructive tendencies tell him that he doesn't need Neil Josten in his life, everything goes to shit. Things between them seem unrepairable and he's not so sure he wants to even try. But when Neil gets into a dangerous car wreck, Andrew finds himself back at the junkie's side with a deadline to fix things or walk away forever.

tw: depression, tw: violence

Already Gone by Nina_reads1804 [Rated M, 31856 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Neil was the pervasive lie Andrew had foolishly allowed himself to indulge and been unable to shake. A person who would stay? Fairytale. It wouldn’t last. Forevers didn’t exist for him. With graduation on the horizon, Andrew makes the hard decision to leave Neil before Neil can leave him. But after a year, Andrew starts to wonder if maybe he was wrong. Maybe he can have it all.

tw: depression, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm

Sometimes I Think the Way We Met Happened Too Fast by andrewiel [Rated E, 25094 words, incomplete, last updated April 2023]

Neil and Andrew break up, but can never stay far apart.

tw: explicit sexual content

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