#I think I might be a Sam girl bc I'm just like well if Dean just listened to Sam and let Sam do the necessary atrocities | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

k2ntoss · 3 months

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A NICE EX !!! DESTIEL

tw ⭒ none, just destiel angst and them being exes ):

a/n ⭒ i think is was just time for me to write something angsty about my little boyfies, yk.... i hope you enjoy my written through tears shit, i listened to the whole smithereens album while choking my sobs, sorry in advance

words count ⭒ idk, i'll stop doing this bc it makes my head ache lmao

castiel is a nice ex, the kind of ex anyone would love to have because he doesn't talk shit about the person he loved with all of him even when he's not feeling okay.

castiel isn't sleeping because he knows he'll dream with those pretty forest green eyes that used to look at him like he was perfect, he knows he'll hear that raspy and soft voice telling him how much he means. it's been nights when not even the warmth of his covers helped, lights turned off and even low and soft music playing on the background but sleep never came.

it had been over half a year, seven months, three days and ten hours to be precise and he counted every passing second, because he was still friends with sam and even with charlie, there was times when he called them and he could hear dean calling their names from afar, cas voice trembled before he said goodbye almost at the second he heard him.

it was hard, the few times sam had invited castiel to drink something with him he would tell him how's dean been doing, he had someone new and it was one of his past loves; a girl named cassie, how ironic but cas was happy for him because dean was doing fine, or so he thought.

"so... he's doing fine, right?" castiel asks, charlie is sitting by his side, her hand on his arm for some sort of comfort while sam looks at him and sighs "yeah, pretty much fine so maybe you should try going out yourself, dude" he urges, his tone is soft because sam knows how hard this is for cas.

"you're dreamy, cas, i know no person would resist you" charlie gives him a smile, she has always had a pretty way to bring a light to anyone who needed it and here he was, not smiling but letting a soft hum escape his lips before he took a sip from his beer "i don't think i'm ready for something like that yet"

"well, you don't have to actually engage into something too serious, cas" sam tells him and he knows that's true but he has never liked the thought of a one night stand to forget a broken heart "mhm, i don't think that's a good idea" and cas is drinking his whole bottle to try and push away the idea of touching or kissing someone who wasn't dean.

the memories of the last day they were together, the day dean broke up with him are still playing fresh on his mind and it brings a stingy feeling to his chest, a burn to his eyes and a knot to his throat. the night died and cas left that bar where he was with sam and charlie, walking to his house with easy steps, his body feeling dizzy as he remembered how dean looked at him that day, his green eyes flooded with tears and his face red because the conversation escalated to a heated argument.

dean felt like cas had changed, he was different and he tried to hard to do anything and everything by himself, keeping his problems and pretty much any issue he might have for him, never letting dean help or at least listen and well, castiel could solve almost every problem which made him feel good, superior to a lot of people until that started to get home with him, where he would push dean away with a smug smirk to do whatever his boyfriend was doing before just to look at him with an attitude that made dean feel a bit useless.

months were like that, every passing day it became worse for him and cas could feel how it wasn't as perfect as before because dean wouldn't be all giddy to see him at the end of the day, he would just greet him with a short grunt or a quick hug, the love was still there bu it felt so hard to act on it.

"is something going on?" cas voice was soft, his weight on the bed making dean look at him for a couple seconds before he went back to read his book "not at all, everything's just fine" and that was their night talk, he'll turn off the night lamp and turn around to sleep, shifting away when cas's hand tried to reach his waist to pull him closer "it's hot, let's not sleep like that tonight" was one of dean's excuses.

castiel knew something was off, that dean wasn't the same as before but what was different? he was just trying to be better, he was trying to show the world that he wasn't as naive and dumb as everyone thought, he wasn't a mere soldier and that he could do things on his own but that wasn't how it looked for his lover, little did cas knew that it was killing them slowly and painfully.

"i can't keep doing this, castiel, do you think it's fine?" dean's voice was loud, he had just arrived from work and cas tried to talk about their problems "do you know what the main problem here is? it's you, you're fucking all this up" words filled with poison and rage, it was all on his chest and castiel felt the realization "dean, i don't know what you mean, i'm trying to do all of this for us" and the calm tone on his words, the way he seemed to be so oblivious of their issues made him feel angrier.

"you're just doing this for you, man, does it makes you feel so good? it's a fucking pain in the ass, you look like you saw yourself as some kind of god and i hate it, castiel" dean was right in front of him, his index pressed on his chest "i hate all of this, what we've become it's not what i want and it's driving me insane" every single word felt like a stab.

"this is not what i deserve and i'm fucking serious" and castiel knows he's damn right, deep inside him he knew it and he had to let dean go so he couldn't hurt him anymore "i won't come back, this is how it ends" dean walks away and he can see the two bags that wait on the hallway, just like that dean walks away. the engine of the impala roars on the sidewalk and that's the only signal he has.

he had lost dean.

castiel kept playing this scene over and over again each night, when he was walking to his home after a long day at work his words would go around his mind like a broken record but this time it was different because his body went into automatic pilot as soon as he went out of the bar.

his feet walking on their own and he wasn't aware until a voice shook him off his slumber "cas?" that voice and the way his shortened name slipped out of his lips, his heartbeat running wild on his chest he was so sure dean could hear it.

there he was, holding a small shoebox with a bunch of casettes on it right in front of the black chevy impala. still beautiful, still dean winchester. forest green eyes bore into his blue ones and he tried to say something.

"what are you doing here?" he asked softly, not even cas knew it because he never noticed until he called.

"uh, i'm not really sure" his answer came out hoarse, his voice as low as always while he tilted his head a little trying to find out how he ended up standing right in front of the love of his life "it's good to see you're doing fine"

"yeah, fine... i'm doing fine" dean said, a small scoff escaping his lips "you're doing fine, cas?" he asked after leaving the box on baby's roof.

"not really, it's been a hard long time" castiel says looking away, he can feel dean's gaze on him and he fights the urge to get close, to hug him and not let go off him ever again "heard you're happy without me, i hope it's true... it hurts but it's okay, i could handle all the pain in the universe if it was for you"

and dean knows it's true, he knows how much castiel would do for him but he doesn't know where did that got lost before they broke up.

cas thought it would be dumb of him to wait for an answer, he knew dean was doing fine without him so he just walked past him. his hand patting his shoulder when he stood for a second by his side "you know i'd still die for you"

and he left, dean turned around just to look at his figure walking away from him. he wasn't doing fine either, nights were darker and not even cassie could fill the emptiness castiel left. he was left alone once again.

#mara's thoughts #supernatural #dean x castiel #dean winchester x castiel #destiel imagine #destiel angst #dean winchester angst #castiel angst #dean winchester #castiel #destiel

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thegeminisage · 7 months

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i just read broken road and i enjoyed it immensely. i just see it differently (not exactly negatively) now knowing you once(?) shipped sam and dean. does that have any influence into it🤔 just simply wondering not interrogating u. i’m interested in that essay even

(prev ask)

ok, my essay is under the cut. it's very, very long. everybody please consider this your warning for inc*st ships if you'd rather not get into it

first point: actually, broken road was not in any way secretly influenced by any previous love of sam/dean, if that helps you any. i wrote it in post november 5th mode and you better believe i was not remotely capable of thinking about anything else. thank you for enjoying it! it's very very special to me and the time i spent working on it and posting it are genuinely some of my fondest memories. cringe <3

second point: to just honestly answer your question, since you're not interrogating me and not being an asshole (thank you and i'm not saying that sarcastically, i have gotten sooo many rude asks about this), my answer is, "eh." my favorite was sam/dean/cas (once he started being on the show) because i'm a cas girl first and foremost. and if i come across a fic where the premise looks good i might check it out, but i basically never actively seek it out bc my preference rn is strongly for destiel.

(that said i do like sam and dean's relationship a lot as brothers or as...whatever else, i'm mostly neutral as long as we don't leave cas out of things, AND i'm perpetually bitter about sam getting left out in the cold, so if i wanna read good sam fic, sometimes people who ship him with the other main characters will do a better job than making him the perpetual longsuffering butt of the slash joke. same goes for early seasons spn fic: sometimes the sam/dean writers just do a better job. i very rarely get the hankering though because i like late seasons, such as season 13, who is my best friend. i think sam got pushed to the side SO STRONGLY that sometimes people sometimes subconsciously associate him being written well or mattering at all to dean beyond functioning as dean's accessory and/or proof/the catalyst of dean's traumatic upbringing with w*ncest. because otherwise they see him as a minor character (?!?!), and why are you bringing this minor character up so much if you're not secretly shipping him with dean, The Main Character? god, does anybody remember when SAM was the main character?? sorry there is truly not enough punctuation in this paragraph.)

now for the actual essay: i do get a little irritated/confused with how much pearl-clutching people do about sam/dean. like, this is EASILY the most harmless of the "problematic" ships. they're consenting adults, barring some tropes and genres i would not like to read nor discuss. and before cas came into the scene (and sometimes even after) we got baited just as hard for the two of them. it was weird and unsettling because the nature of inc*st is that it's often weird and unsettling. their dynamic is unhealthy and codependent and that's part of their appeal in whatever form. people who get the heebie jeebies because it's "problematic" are missing the point. there are also weird and unsettling vibes between dean and john, because that was part of the abuse. that actually played into broken road way more than any sam/dean stuff. he was a bad father and he made dean his backup wife and there was probably some emotional inc*st happening CANONICALLY. we all watched that in the show right?? but for some reason talking about that is fine and talking about whatever sam and dean have going on gets you put on block lists. because sometimes sam/dean fics are just for fun and whenever we talk about john we have people in fics punching him out or killing him. like we have to point our fingers at john and go "THAT'S BAD" loudly enough to ensure everyone else that we're above moral criticism. it's like. weirdly thought police-y. (and tbh, that's part of what inspired broken road - i was looking for nuance re: john and couldn't fucking find any because of this weird black-and-white mentality fandom has developed.)

and it's so hypocritical sometimes! i remember deancas stuff used to have "w*ncest fans dni" banners all over it, in the guise of protecting and standing with survivors, but when actual survivors would say things like "actually those banners just remind me of everything all over again" they would mostly get ignored?? it was so performative, like this kneejerk reaction of promising everybody YOU know what's bad so you won't get ostracized. my tastes don't usually run very dark so most of the sam/dean i wrote or read was way less unhealthy than, say, whatever lestat and louis have going on in iwtv. but nobody's making blocklists of iwtv enjoyers because that would be insane? there's just a little bit of cognitive dissonance happening i think.

like, obviously, yes, in real life inc*st pretty much always speaks to something having gone extremely wrong in someone's life and a dynamic being extremely unhealthy at best, but in fiction it is possible for it to be consensual, even if it is a little fucked up or the people involved are a little damaged.

(warning for discussion of rape fic from here down) i'm not actually totally anti-censorship though. i do firmly believe there are some types of fiction people shouldn't write! i wouldn't read parent/child anything, or any kind of rape fic unless it's tastefully engaging with the aftermath of something like that. sam/dean just seems so, so tame to me in comparison to some of the other stuff fandom has come up with. in 2014-2016 people used to write a thing called hydra trash party, which was just porn of bucky barnes being gang-raped by hydra agents. ie nazis. and half the time he was headcanoned as jewish. like??? can you even GET more tasteless than that??? i hated that shit (and i still do, deeply). i talked about how much i hated it all the time and people would come after me like "well who are YOU to censor other people? what if the authors are survivors working through their own trauma? you can't ask authors to disclose that kinda stuff if they want a license to write graphic nazi rape porn!" i got literal hate mail about it. equal but opposite energy of those dni banners - both people claiming it was "about survivors" to justify doing, uh, whatever they wanted. it's just fucking wild to me that in less than a decade my stance of "i don't care what people write if everybody is a CONSENTING ADULT," while not changing at all whatsoever, moved from being too prudish to being too problematic.

another side tangent (sorry, you did ask) is that i was a slash writer on FFN in the video game and anime fandoms during the late 00s (ironically, quite a lot of straight men there) and holy mother of god...the kind of shit comments i would get for putting two dudes kissing in the same fic, even though it was PLASTERED with disclaimers. i felt like the mob was after me sometimes lol. and that's sort of the way i felt once those w*ncest asks started. i remember back in the peak of post nov 5 stuff if i like, reblogged art or gifs from certain blogs people would write in to tell me that person was a sam/dean shipper so i'd take down my (gen, non sam/dean) post. i felt paranoid (and still feel paranoid) reblogging GEN sam & dean content because i'm worried people will take it the wrong way. i actually deleted one from my drafts earlier today - i'd been thinking about it but then i got your ask and decided against it, lol. what a way to live! especially in fandom, which is (and i hate to politicize it this way but it's true) a queer-adjacent space that's supposed to be free of the kind of judgment you'd get for not being a normie irl.

on FFN, one of the many pairings i wrote for actually involved an underaged teenager and and an adult. but as i was the same age as that teenager at the time, and had a crush on that adult character and toootally wanted to marry him, i couldn't see what was wrong with pairing them together. like i quite literally did not know better. it's a pairing that actually disgusts me now, lol. if people now could send me asks about what i did back then to try and "gotcha" me (they can't because it's all been deleted) i'd be really pissed about it, because you can't continue to punish people after they've learned and grown. everyone's been so terribly kind about broken road, and there's this real fear of losing or tainting something so special and wonderful just because people have a problem with the fics you read or wrote a decade ago. it sucks. i do think there's a line (like, maybe don't write nazi rape porn, also whatever was going on with that j2 haiti fic), but i also think we've got to try at least a little not to reinvent puritanism on fandom websites of all places. that's wack.

and man, i know i said it already, but i just keep coming back to w*ncest being SO TAME? like it doesn't compute that someone would get icked out over CONSENSUAL sam/dean and meanwhile ship for example rowena/ketch like he didn't torture her or sam/lucifer because they like mark pellegrino like lucifer isn't sam's fucking rapist. and not even get "in trouble" for it. it boggles the mind.

and like, idk. i initially got my hackles up at your ask because it's 1 of a million, and i could dodge the questions by taking down the one sam/dean/cas fic on my profile ig, but that fic is how i met a good friend of mine and she'd be sad if i were to take it down, so i don't want to have to, and i shouldn't have to. you know??

my final thought: i've been writing fanfic for 20 years. 20 years ago when i started writing fic sam/dean would have been unacceptable because it's two men. 10 years ago it was fine because they were the ONLY two men, and every woman in supernatural got bullied off of the show, and people writing het got hatemail. now it's unacceptable again because of the inc*st. 10 years from now, who knows what will happen? so i try to base my morals on what i feel i can live with as a person rather than what a bunch of people on the internet (i'm not including you in that) tell me what i can or can't do, or should or shouldn't do.

i really hope this answer doesn't like, ruin broken road for you, or anyone else. i don't think of myself As A W*ncest Shipper at all, but neither do i deny that i used to be, and i certainly don't have any problem with (again) keyword CONSENTING keyword ADULTS in fanfic now, even if they do happen to be siblings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i just hope that like someday we find a middle ground where we can live and let live but also have enough sense not to write nazi erotica. if that's problematic of me, so be it 😔✊

#liz answers asks #anonymous #really really really long. sorry. this has been bothering me for literal years #absolutely no way i could have expressed these thoughts directly post nov 5th during the spn revival #without people hunting me for sport lol #so if nothing else at least i got to get it off my chest

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deanwinchesterpregnant · 11 months

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Happy df friday spike! Apologize If this has been asked b4, but how do you think Dean's gender might influence the way deanjohn worked/how john treats dean? Not just Dean vs. Deanna, but also if she's femme, if he/she's butch, if he's trans, if he's cis, etc<3

aaaaa ok. this is such a good question, ty!! i might get a little rambly in my answer because i'm kind of thinking as i type:

i just talked a bit about how john might manipulate trans man dean.

with cis girl (femme) dean(na), i think it is way easier for john to give in to starting up a sexual relationship with her. sure, canon dean is in the mother (to sam) and wife (to john) role. but it's easy for john to deny this. the man was born in what, the 50s? he's Staunchly Avoiding the Fact that Dean is a Guy. but if she's a woman...well. she looks even more like mary. she looks like the kind of girl who he might pick up. and god, dean was already such an obedient kid, but deanna raised with all of the gender role expectations and likely needing to prove herself to john even moreso...she might be the one who comes onto him. it's another way to please her dad, and like, john automatically sees sam as the more gifted hunter, despite his whole 'something is wrong with my son' shtick. bc lets face it, there are not a lot of female hunters. mary, ellen, jo, tamara, gwen? that's all we meet. so i think deanna is already dealing with working twice as hard to meet expectations and her dad is lonely and always getting on her about fucking other guys because he's the kind of dad to shovel talk (not that deanna ever brings guys home) and...well.

butch dean (and i think she does go by dean) i think is a whole other ballgame. he has such a different relationship to gender that john can't even make sense of. and i think he probably has the 'oh my god my kid is a dyke' thoughts (whether she/he identifies that way or not) and like. i can see john being uncomfortable with that. he doesn't think he can relate to this dean at all, and i don't think he'd initiate anything sexual with her/him. and he frames a lot of stuff around 'i want to protect you' and 'can't you dress a little more like a girl, life would be easier for you' etc. etc. i do think john is passively homophobic, yeah. but also i think he's a little relieved once he does accept her/his (i keep using both bc idk which pronouns dean would prefer here) relationship to masculinity and masculine expression and like...well. he knows masculinity. maybe this is better, as a hunter...

with trans woman dean, i don't think john would take that well or understand it. but i think if dean(na) is a trans woman, she comes to terms with it and/or comes out a lot later than she would as a trans guy. and john stops anything sexual with her for a bit. and like, she can go get hormones on her own and transition and it's the 2000s and like, once she starts physically transitioning john starts getting into the 'she's just like mary...' headspace again.

#dadfucker friday #johndean

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fbfh · 2 years

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I hope you’re doing well and starting hydrated and eating well!!!!! im sorry I haven’t read the school for good and evil books and barely paid attention to the movie but can you tell me how someone being blonde has anything to do with their personality? Lol idk maybe you were joking about that Tedros thing im sorry I’m not understanding 😭 idk man ppl saying someone’s hair color is important? I’m kinda weary after that whole Annabeth Chase thing (not saying you were being like that here I’m just genuinely wondering)

-🩴

HI FLIP FLOP!!!!!! I'm actually bouncing back from like three days of awful dehydration so this couldn't have come at a better time!!! (i'm drinking water as we speak so no worries) (also literally all of this is pure opinion and conjecture!!!!!)

this is a fantastic question and I'm so glad you asked it!!! the answer is it usually does not lol. I have a personal opinion/theory that there's hair color that's random and hair color that's actually a core pillar of your personality. Percy and Annabeth are actually perfect examples, because they don't act brunette and blonde enough for that to be necessary to the actors playing them so the actors hair color doesn't matter as long as they can portray the characters well (which they do I adore Walker and Leah), and the whole big deal of them "having the wrong hair color" was people associating that hair color with that character instead of it actually having to do with their personalities. But with characters like Lorelai Gilmore and Elle Woods their hair colors aren't just hair color, it's a huge part of their personality, so even if Elle had died her hair brown in legally blonde, it wouldn't have changed her Blonde personality. Personality hair color doesn't have to be natural either, I could never bleach my hair and I will always be Blonde (and I actually have a theory that most if not all of the kids in athena cabin that don't have naturally blonde hair have blonde personalities which is where "most children of athena are blonde" comes from. they have bi monthly bleach and tone nights as a group bonding activity.) So characters like Marcus Baker, Schmidt from new girl, and even Sam and Dean Winchester, their hair color has absolutely nothing to do with their personality, but Max Mayfield, Alex Russo, and Miss Piggy might feel a little off if they were played by someone with a different hair color. Part of that might just be associating that hair color with that character, but I think it's because the latter have personality hair colors instead of random hair colors.

with Tedros (in all fairness I haven't read all the books and I started reading them a long time ago) being blonde is in fact a huge part of his personality. I think Jamie Flatters (the guy who played Tedros) did a really good job at portraying him, and he also has a really similar face/bone structure to the cover art, so it was a great casting choice and the only thing missing was Blonde. it might not have effected his acting but I have a feeling it would have just a teeny tiny bit and that would have been the difference between Blonde tedros and Brunette tedros. Plus I love the pairing of blonde golden retriever tedros x angsty gloomy brunette agatha.

TLDR it's objectively not a huge deal bc Jamie did a great job and I'm sure his hair color wasn't something he had control over, plus if Soman didn't care it's fine, I care a lot because this is a big deal to me and only me and is something I get fired up about (and probably to anyone else emotionally attached to Blonde tedros)

#flip flop anon #I think part of it is probably 'do you identify really really strongly with a certain hair color?'#personality hair color people will say YES!!!!!!!#also it can be really specific shades of hair colors too #like I am specifically platinum blonde and have wanted plaintum hair for literally as long as I could remember #I would daydream about it and portray myself like that in drawings and stuff cause it was a huge part of my personality yk #it's like that quote #'the difference is subtle but important to some'#i'm some #ALSO I HOPE NONE OF THIS COMES OFF AS AGRESSIVE OR MAD OR ANYTHING CAUSE I'M NOT AT ALL!!!! /GEN #this is simply something I've been talking about for days and days yk #anyway I'M GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN FLIP FLOP I MISSED YOU!!!! <333

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cassierobinsons · 2 years

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"he's mainly focused on the reason behind dean's developing alcoholism rather than the alcoholism itself" i mean i get what you're saying but i feel like that should be what SHOULD be focused on. i just rewatched seasons 1-3 and dean doesn't drink anymore than would be odd on a Show About Men For Men-hell really is what kickstarts it. i have to be honest and say i don't think dean would have any interest in totally abstaining from alcohol (nor do i think that's a narrative we should continue to push on anyone struggling-that you must Abstain forever and a single drop might as well be a gallon) but i really wish the show had just let him get to a place where he was content enough in his life that he could enjoy a beer or two during a family movie night, and not feel the need to down multiple bottles just to be able to sleep.

what i meant is that in s4 sam recognises that dean's deteriorating condition is a sign that he's hiding something about his experience in hell, but instead of letting dean come out with the truth in his own time, sam keeps pushing the issue. like he's a little more concerned with getting the deets than the harm dean is doing to himself. though i'll concede i might be letting my issues with sam in 4x09 (where i maintain he was genuinely nasty about dean's time in hell) colour my opinion on sam's motives in 4x08.

(it's funny you say that s1-3 never really portrayed dean as much of a drinker because i broadly agree BUT there is one major outlier and it's WIAWSNB by og dean girl raelle tucker - pretty sure djinnverse dean is implied to have a drinking problem)

not to be like [guy who started it voice] i'm staying out of it but i don't wanna get too into the specifics of what approach works best for alcoholics bc it's a very close topic for a lot of people and i'm a teetotaller from a long line of teetotallers. but i agree that permanent abstention isn't a useful goal for a lot of addicts, including dean. ultimately the issue is that spn is allergic to characters having any sort of lasting happiness and stability, which as you said is exactly what dean needed to make any sort of progress. like, s4 is unpacking dean's hell trauma but in s5 he needs to ignore it to focus on the apocalypse. fair enough. but then s6 and s7 happens and s7 in particular really belabors the issue of dean's alcoholism and suicidality only to drop it because ??? need more time to focus on dick jokes??? all that misery for nothing!

from the sounds of it the rest of the show flips between taking his alcoholism seriously for a few episodes in a row and not taking it seriously at all. spn is a show!

#asks #anonymous #alcoholism for ts

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sortasirius · 4 years

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For the kissing prompt: on a hunt and, bc I'm a hoe for it, confessing feelings pls (destiel obvi but if you could weave some saileen in there too that would be *chefs kiss*)

*distant screaming* DESTIEL AND SAILEEN

Thank you SO much!!!!! Hope you like it! This one also gets slightly ~steamy~ sorry not sorry

Words: 1344 (lmao when will I calm down?)

“You should not be this excited about this,” Sam has his feet up on the center console of the Impala, staring at Dean with a mixture of humor and distaste, “Lives are at stake.”

“Lives are always at stake, Sam. But how long has it been since we went on an actual ghost hunt? No weirdness, no cosmic shit, just a regular old ghost.”

“We don’t know that it’s a regular old ghost,” Sam argues, leaning forward, to look at the laptop that Eileen is furiously typing on in the passenger seat.

“Yeah but it’s probably a ghost,” Dean pushes, shifting around, “And where’s Cas?”

“He’s probably still getting dinner, you’re such a mother hen,” Sam presses a kiss to the top of Eileen’s head and she smiles, looking over at Dean in a way that was a little too knowing for Dean’s taste.

Cas appears right at that moment, rapping loudly on the driver’s side window, bags of food in hand. Dean’s pulse definitely doesn’t quicken when he sees him, that would be stupid and completely unlike him. Eileen seems to sense the energy change at Cas’ arrival regardless, because she settles in the backseat with Sam as they eat, typing away on her laptop, her head resting on Sam’s shoulder, Sam looking very much in love with her.

Dean keeps accidentally catching Cas’ eye as Sam and Eileen whisper about lore and research and occasionally breaking into fits of giggles. Dean feels sick to his stomach when he and Cas lock eyes, another couple so obviously in love only about a foot away from them. He needs to get a grip on himself. He tries to focus on the bacon cheeseburger Cas brought him. It doesn’t work.

Eileen and Sam finally work out the rough position of the ghost or whatever it is that they’re supposed to be hunting. Dean insists that all they need are the usual salt rounds, gas, and rock salt to burn the bones, but Sam, Eileen, and Cas insist on taking some other essentials, “just in case.” Dean reluctantly takes the silver knife Dean hands him, he should know a ghost when he hears about one, and this house had had enough murders in it to warrant ten angry spirits.

“It’s a ghost,” Dean says loudly as they sneak into the abandoned house on the outskirts of the town in Ohio they were hunting in. It really was a spooky house, all shuttered and old, the paint peeling and the roof half caved in. Why the fuck would people be out here in the first place?

“I’m not sure it’s a ghost, Dean,” Eileen whispers, turning the knob of the door cautiously.

They sneak through the house, down to the basement, and Dean is just pulling out his shovel when Sam’s grabbed from behind and thrown into the wall, knocking the breath out of him. They’re faced with the girl that they had cleared of the two deaths in the house earlier that week. And she clearly wasn’t a ghost. Judging by the teeth, she was a Vetala. Nothing was ever easy was it? Dean just wanted a simple ghost hunt, why was that so much to ask?

Sam catches the silver knife Eileen flings at him, and stabs and twists once, the Vetala crumples with a scream. They rush over to him, Eileen a little frantic.

“Fine, I’m fine, just lost my breath,” Sam wheezes, but before any of them can say another word, Dean feels himself get thrown backwards. Fuck. They hunt in pairs. The dead one’s counterpart picks Dean up by the throat, twisting his fingers back as he tries to reach for his own knife. They slam into the opposite wall, and the last thing Dean sees are Cas and Eileen making a beeline for him, terror on both of their faces.

“Dean? Dean!”

Dean’s head feels like shit. He opens his eyes by degrees, half convinced that he was going to be tied to a chair and paralyzed by that snake freak’s venom. Instead, he meets a pair of beautiful blue eyes that make him feel lightheaded under normal circumstances.

“Hey Cas,” he whispers, and he sees Cas’ shoulders sink down with relief.

“You’re an idiot,” Dean becomes aware that Cas is basically holding him, and Dean has unknowingly reached up to grip his shoulder.

“Ah well, takes one to know one,” Dean smiles at Cas, the fog in his head clearing enough for his heart to start racing at the prolonged contact with Cas’ skin.

“You okay Dean?” Sam clears his throat loudly, standing over him and Cas with a worried Eileen next to him.

“Yeah, just a little sore. I’m gonna feel like shit in the morning,” Dean keeps staring at Cas, and Cas keeps staring at Dean. Sam looks like he wants to melt into the floor.

“Well, it wasn’t a ghost,” Sam looks at Eileen awkwardly, clearly trying to make conversation, but Eileen reads the room once again, and she simply takes his hand and leads him out of the pretty much destroyed room, leaving Cas and Dean half holding each other, both of them breathing hard and somehow unable to release one another.

“So uh,” Dean’s fingers are going slightly numb from gripping Cas’ shoulder so tightly, “That wasn’t a ghost hunt.”

Cas huffs a laugh, leaning forward and pressing his forehead into Dean’s. It’s an unexpected gesture, so intimate that Dean feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest.

“Don’t do that again, Dean,” Cas whispers, holding Dean a little tighter, “I can’t…I just can’t…”

Dean feels his heart twitch in a way that he’s around ninety percent certain he’s having a heart attack.

“What, Cas?”

“I can’t…I can’t envision life without you. And I, it’s you Dean, it’s always been you, and I, I-.”

Cas tries to pull away, to make space between them, but Dean takes his face, makes their eyes meet, blue meeting green. He leans forward, in Cas’ space without even thinking about it, letting the walls he had built for the last ten years melt away. Cas lips are chapped and warm and just the right amount of soft, his hair his just long enough for Dean to thread his fingers through, and he doesn’t care that his ribs are sore or that he might have a broken finger or a mild concussion. All that matters is Cas twisting his way closer, so they’re tangled together awkwardly on the filthy floor of the dilapidated house.

Dean had always imagined that Cas would be gentle, passive even, but he should’ve known better than that. It takes only a couple of seconds before Cas’ tongue is in his mouth, and Dean swears that he’s going to pass out again when Cas makes this fucking noise, it’s like a gasp and a sigh and Dean finds himself clutching Cas’ shoulders again, which are strong and broad and like an anchor in a heaving, roiling ocean.

Eventually they hear the horn of the Impala outside and break apart, both with pink lips and breathing like they’d been training for sprints in the Olympics.

Dean runs his hands through Cas’ thoroughly messed-up hair, smiling in a way that hints at playful.

“So uh. Me too.”

Cas rolls his eyes, but gives Dean a soft smile and reaches out to touch Dean’s lips lightly. Dean leans forward unconsciously, his body wanting more and more and more of whatever that was.

“Sam is getting impatient, can you walk?”

“You gonna carry me bridal style if I say no, Cas?”

There’s a glint in Cas’ eye as he helps Dean up. He knows he’s going to be sore as hell in the morning, but right now he feels all light and bubbly, like he’s full of carbonated water.

“I can definitely do that, whatever gets us home faster.”

Dean feels like his stomach jumps into his throat at those words.

“Do you have honorable intentions?”

Cas presses a kiss to his jawline, grinning.

“Absolutely not.”

Link to OG post

Prompt me up!

#anonymous #lilly answers #my writing #prompts #destiel #saileen #spn #yall are letting me FEAST with all these prompts akfdjasldkjf I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO WRITE SEND THEM TO ME ALWAYS

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mittensmorgul · 4 years

Note

I've just read through your previous ask about a yellow bathroom from S13 and some older color meta posts, but I'm wondering if you had any thoughts on the use of yellow specifically thus far in S15. You noted, "Which brings us to yellow (and also yellow and blue together, which have always been a warning sign on Supernatural… she says as she’s watching 9.01 and looking at Hael wearing a sulfur-yellow sweater over a dark blue dress. Those are the colors of Heaven and irresistible duty)." Con't..

So far what’s jumped out at me is Amara’s yellow pant suit, the girl tonight (avoiding spoilers bc timezones) wearing a yellow beret and tie-thing, and most glaringly, Dean’s yellow over shirt at the end. We never see him wearing yellow, certainly not that blatantly, or at least not that I remember. (My memory is unreliable) ‘Heaven and irresistible duty’ certainly fit, but I’m wondering if you have any new thoughts or anything else to add.

***

hello! And welcome to the continuation of the chat I initiated with you while trying to work out what exactly to say here. I’m copy/pasting my chat rambling here and then going forward from there…

(editing this, because tumblr borked the formatting when I posted it... thanks for that >.>)

the way Lilith’s clothes were coded in this episode were effectively a trap. SHE was effectively a trap, I mean Chuck had “written her into the episode” specifically to “seduce dean” after all… and she did that… wearing an outfit that ScREAMED Cas, so I want to put together something coherent for you before replying :’D

coinofstone Gotcha. Thank you for teaching out. I don’t generally follow color meta, someone pointed me to some of your #color and temp posts so I dug through a little before sending in the ask - Lilith’s comment about Chuck’s pervy obsession with Dean was a giant klaxon that made me think of Dean’s concerns about Cas too. But it’s also another “Hey remember Amara” moment

mittensmorgul yeah, and it’s a really good point

coinofstone Absolutely. I look forward to reading your post on this, once you’ve had time to digest and get it all written

mittensmorgul you mentioned the “duty to heaven” association with that mustard yellow/tan color, and that seems really relevant since Lilith’s entire presence there was in service to Chuck’s story, even as an unwilling participant in it, while Dean’s wrestling with his entire relationship to Cas, questioning if any of it was even real, since Cas’s mission originated as “Duty to Heaven” in saving him from Hell

mittensmorgul And I think all of this will become textual in 15.09, in Dean’s prayer to Cas…Foreshadowing! But not the kind Chuck’s writing…

mittensmorgul heck, I think I might just copy paste what I wrote to you here, and reply to your messages. I think I’ve worked out what I need to say

(and now that I have permission to post this, we can move on to why this is so interesting)

Lilith lampshaded herself as Chuck’s plot device, effectively. She was reenacting her own previous plot line from 4.18, seducing one of the brothers. Last time it was Sam, this time it was Dean. I’ve already posted something else about this tonight. She actively critiqued Chuck’s writing all along. She saw through Chuck’s story enough– even while she was a basically manufactured element of his story– to be self-aware of her own function within that story, as well as to point at other elements of the story and tell Dean “this is foreshadowing, isn’t it dull and predictable?”

She’s like… the opposite of Becky in 15.04.

Chuck basically BEGGED Becky to give him “notes” on his draft, and Becky had approached it in a fanfic-mindset of good faith, assuming Chuck was basically just writing fanfic as any human would. Lilith is self-aware, and knows the meta-plot. She knows she’s been placed there as a character in Chuck’s story, and she knows all about the story Chuck is trying to tell… and she HATES it.

She says she was given the choice of three vessels, and chose the one who’d apparently “picked the hardest road” for herself. She could’ve chosen one of the other girls, but this is the story that resonated with Lilith. Did she choose this, or did Chuck create her story out of whole cloth as even more foreshadowing, and with heavy references to the past when he’d done exactly the same thing with her? (rewriting her from a child into a “comely dental hygienist” when that suited the narrative he needed to tell?)

But that brings me back to Ashley/Lilith’s weird choice of clothing. Even back in the opening scenes in the tent, her two friends are dressed normally– t-shirts, like one might wear to sleep while camping. But Ashley… had the tie on. Scarf. Neckerchief. Whatever. She looked weirdly like she was trying to be a girl scout just because they’d been on a camping trip, you know? So, weird neckerchief. Which in this case looks both like Cas’s tie, AND Marie’s outfit in 10.05.

And Chuck told her, “not bad.”

Yeah, school uniforms for Marie and friends, but… Ashley/Lilith apparently chose this for herself, right down to the weird little beret.

Marie’s outfit was trimmed in this mustard color, but Lilith’s is just full-on mustard accessories.

Because Lilith was entirely self-aware through this entire episode that she was nothing more than Chuck’s plot device. She had no free will. She said repeatedly that she would’ve tortured and killed Sam and Dean both if she could, but she couldn’t, because she was entirely limited by what Chuck created her for within this episode. HOW FRUSTRATING, RIGHT?!

I guess, hence the perma-fake-tear visual of that wound on her cheek. Which was emphasized in the episode with her actual tears coursing over the cut.

This… was her chain. She could COMPLAIN about her role, she could complain about the stupidity of Chuck’s entire story. She could even laugh about his obvious asinine plot devices and foreshadowing– including her own incongruous appearance at this point in the story. But she was entirely bound by the construct Chuck created for her, and was unable to act outside of his plot.

Duty. Bound. And it’s tied right around her neck like a choker she can’t take off, in the color of duty to Heaven.

AND SHE WAS A DEMON, NOT AN ANGEL.

That doesn’t exempt her at all from being a pawn in Chuck’s narrative.

She even talked about her original purpose, to die for the original story, to free Lucifer, and her frustration that it was all for nothing. There was no grand purpose fulfilled because of her sacrifice. As far as she;s concerned, everything her entire existence was built around had been a lie. And she’s seen Chuck whole story for what it really is as a result of that. And yet here she is, playing another role for Chuck, in his unending narrative where he hopes maybe this time around things will work out to his liking. But it never will.

She also lampshaded the whole Free Will versus Destiny conundrum which we’ve been saying for years was the central theme of Supernatural since… forever. And pushed Dean to reiterate his stand on it– that he wouldn’t give it up, that he’d take all the bad he’d ever endured all over again, as long as he was making his own choices in his life. I’m not even sure that was what Chuck was going for here, or if Dean’s continued assertion of his own belief in free will was what broke Chuck’s hold over Lilith as a “character” here, and allowed her to begin voicing her critique of Chuck’s story, you know? If Dean had given in to her seduction, would she have ever been able to wrench free enough of Chuck’s written story to voice her own opinions of it? I like to think that Dean’s act of rebellion there changed the script, or allowed her to go “off script” enough to fill him in on some of the realities of Chuck’s interference.

But that remains to be seen. As far as Lilith goes, I think she was a construct for this episode… literally an agent of Chuck entirely created for the purposes of this episode as a test just as she was in 4.18. Was this the “real Lilith” brought from the Empty? Or just Chuck doing his thing and creating a story? How much can a writer really lie within the construct of his own disintegrating story?

#spn s15 spoilers #spn 15.05 #this episode was entirely brilliant on every level #coinofstone

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thoughtslikeaminefield · 4 years

Note

Okay two things. First, I'm in fucking LOVE with the way you write Dean. Thank you for loving him enough to really GET him. I hear his voice and see him and it's beautiful. Second thing, I aM ANGRY. His self-esteem hurts me so much because he's clearly the best hunter, hands down. He's given up so much for Sam and I feel like he's losing who HE is for him and it hurts so much. He's so good. Just. Period. He's so good. He deserves so much better. I will die a Dean girl. I love Sam but Deeeeean.

Man...

I legit cried for 10 straight minutes after I read this.

Mostly because you gave me the best compliment I could ever receive on my writing but also bc I just feel so SEEN by you. Thank you. 💜

I do love Dean. This week’s episode reminded me of that after the episode before last (Dean’s prayer to Cas in Purgatory) ripped open so many wounds.

I identify with Dean Winchester on a fundamental level - the way he deals with his pain, his trauma, and making things right.

The trauma that I have sustained is not the same as his. I have a fantastic family who are caring, supportive, loving, and always there for anything I need.

We were blue-collar. We had an expansive and extremely supportive extended family. When times were tight and we had our power turned off, couldn’t buy food, or had the heat turned off, we had a place to go.

My dad was gone every two days for 3-4 days at a time, leaving and coming home at all hours of the day and night.

He’s retired now and we’re all very close. He’s an incredible father to my sister and I as well as to her own daughters.

All this being said, I have spent decades dealing with anxiety surrounding food and shelter and a particularly traumatic experience dealing with a romantic relationship by using humor as armor, anger and aggression as defense, and trying so hard to be untouchable as the last line.

When Dean prayed to Castiel, and he apologized, I did not see him apologizing for letting Cas walk out the door. I didn’t see him apologizing for ever being rude to Cas. I didn’t see him apologizing to Cas for saying anything that might have hurt his feelings – not anything specific anyway.

What I saw was dean apologizing for being himself. He was apologizing for being hurtful, mean, and angry. He was apologizing for being traumatized.

And that fucked me up for days afterward and it still does when I really think about it. The fact that Dean felt like he had to apologize for his own trauma fucking kills me.

Anyway, thank you again for your kind words and for loving Dean. I appreciate your words and your intention.

Peace.

💜💜💜

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verobatto · 5 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XIX)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Tell me the Truth

(6x04/6x05/6x06/6x07/6x08/6x13)

Hello my dear! How have you been? I'm here with another volume from this Chronicles.

This time I want to talk about the truth as a recurrent topic in the first half of this season.

I'm gonna mix some bi Dean concept too, this will be mostly a Dean centric meta.

O want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder , she couldn't make me the gifs for this meta but we discussed a lot about this topic. Thank you girl!

Let's start...

Saying goodbye to Lisa and Ben

Ok, I will collect here an amount of observations I made in several chapters in which we can see Dean breaking up with Lisa and Ben as his family.

In episode 6x06 Live Free or Twihard , calling back to 6x02, we had Dean feeling himself a monster and becoming one.

At the beginning of the episode, the Winchester brothers went to investigate to a house, a girl's room, vampires fan. Dean found a book and this is what he reads...

DEAN. Look at this. He's WATCHING her sleep. How is that not rape-y?

This is very significant because when Dean is turning into a vampire, he decided to go visit Lisa and Ben to say goodbye... So when he arrives, he just stays there by Lisa's bed watching her sleep. As a real monster. After this we all recall he pushed Ben violently and ran away. This was the beginning of the end.

In episode 6x06 "You can't handle the truth" written by Sera Gamble, even when it was a very Wincest episode, it had a very interesting topic about ASKING THE TRUTH YOU CAN'T EFFORT.

And related with Lisa here, he called her, and because he had asked for the truth, he receives the truth from her. A very hard one. She snapped at him this...

LISA: You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down, and you push it down. Do you honestly think that you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just, what, drink half a fifth a night and you're good?

DEAN: You knew what you signed up for.

Dean is excusing himself with her, she knew, he's like this. He won't change. Hunting is his life.

LISA: Yeah. But I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay. I am. But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.That came out so much harsher than I meant.

Here, we have the pathologic codependency between them, but as it was written, and here's my opinion, is screaming Wincest all over, we know Sera was a fervent fan of the boys, and this doesn't surprises me. Lisa is being very hard and honest with Dean. Things are not Al right between them.

DEAN: It's not your fault.

LISA: I'm not saying don't be close to Sam. I'm close to my sister. But if she got killed, I wouldn't bring her back from the dead!

DEAN: Okay, Lis... I'm not gonna lie. Okay, me and Sam, we... we've got issues. No doubt. But you and Ben --

Here is Dean saying "Everything you had just said is truth", so more Wincest for the bag.

LISA: Me and Ben can't be in this with you. I'm sorry.

And this was the end for sure.

In this same episode, we had this scene...

Gif set credit @paladeckis

The woman is dressed in lavanda color, si, basically, is a Lisa's mirror here,asking for a lot of attention and Dean is giving her that not very hopeful answer... So yeah, Dean had decided which life he wants for him. Maybe, and as I said before, he doesn't feel he deserves a good life, or maybe because he feels like a dangerous monster that can destroy good things.

Now... Let's jump to 6x07 "Family Matters"...

There's a singular quote by the Alpha Vampire:

DEAN: I didn't realize we were on a first-name basis.

ALPHA VAMPIRE: Of course we are. After all, you were my child... for a time. Dean, tell me... did you enjoy it?

Ok, I know this is a creepy way to see it, but... Immediately after episode 6x06 we had this. And beacuse Dean is in the break up process with Lisa and Ben, this could be taken as a Dean/Ben mirror... Ben was the "monster's son" for a while, or at least that way is how Dean see it inside of him. So, symbolically, we are talking about that here.

Now... Episode 6x08 "All dogs go to Heaven" a very blantant Dean mirror with the dog-man here... First of all... Remember the monster watching in silence while the woman sleeps?? We have the same again here... The dog-man (skinwalker) his name was Lucky.

There was interesting words exchanging between Dean and Lucky, and please pay attention to Dean's speech...

DEAN: Hang on, Sam. [to LUCKY (MAN)] Listen, you don't have to tell me why you're with the family. I get it.

LUCKY (MAN): Oh, you do, do you?

DEAN: You killed every threat that came near them. You care about them, in your own whack-a-doodle kind of way. It's obvious. What I want to know is, who was that guy you were kibitzing with? He a skinwalker, too?

So... Isn't it Dean talking to himself? Do he feel like a abandoned and hurted dog that needed a refuge? A family? Now... Check this other quote...

DEAN: What are you gonna do to that family, really? You gonna put your jaws around that little boy's throat? Clamp down, listen to him cry for his mom? 'Cause I'm gonna guess that these are the only people who in your pathetic life have ever showed you any kindness. So it's either that... or you can help us stop it.

Again, the scene of Dean pushing Ben against the wall when he was about to transform into a vampire (a monster) and then... Again talking to himself. Is so blantant that my heart broke instantly...

After this, Dean decided not to shoot him bc he knew that dog was him... But things didn't end well for Lucky...

When he tries to come back to Mandy and her son, this is what happened...

MANDY: Get away from this house, you psycho. And if you ever, ever come near me or my son again, so help me...

LUCKY (MAN): I know I probably deserve...

MANDY closes and locks the door.

This is the end for the monster that wanted to have a family, the difference here is... Dean really wanted to have this kind of life?

And the answer we already know...

Gif set credit @frozen-delight

Dean is puting salt on the windows while he's saying he's out... Tell the truth Dean.

And in 6x13 "Unforgettable" Dean said another thing to his brother (to himself) to put a final period here...

DEAN: Sam, y-y-you got to understand that all that crap last year -- all of it -- none of it was you.

Ok Dean, we get it. This last year trying to be a man with a normal life and family, it wasn't you. It was a lie.

Sam's lies and foreshadowing Castiel's secrets

Before to continuó with this meta... I promised you some bi-Dean scene... Here you have.

Look how Dean checks out the police man and he even greeted him that way. As we know... Dean likes uniforms... 😉 (This gif was made by my gorgeous friend Agus!)

Ok... Let's start with the brothers here...

We all recall that scene when Sam just watched as Dean was turned into a vampire. Ok... So Dean saw it too. And that was one of his biggest alarms about his brother. This happened in episode 6x05.

In episode 6x06, another interesting parallel with the Winchesters brother and Sam's lies.

SAM: You know what a "tell" is?

OLIVIA: Excuse me?

SAM: It's a poker term... for when you're bluffing. Like what you just did with your hair.

OLIVIA: What are you trying to say?

SAM: You're lying.

DEAN is surprised at the force of SAM's inquiry.

OLIVIA: What?!

SAM: Tell us what you did to your sister.

Ok big parallel each time Dean wanted to obtain the truth about what happened with the vampire and why he didn't take care of him.

So after this we had the big scene with VERITAS, and very very WINCEST thing right here...

Gif credit @whiskeyandwhine

Look at their hands touching... Yep very disgusting and very Sera Gamble era. 😒 I'm just pointing things here for you to see what this woman wanted to do with the show.

Let's see continue now with CAS.

In this same episode we had another confession that could be analyze as a parallel and foreshadow of Castiel and his secrets.

SAM: So, you had some idea Corey might have taken her own life?

ROOMMATE: Well... she had been going through a bit of a hard time lately... at school. And then, um, her cat, Mittens, had just ran away. But, really, it was her boyfriend. She was sure that he was cheating on her. But he was just very good at covering his tracks. Which, of course, made her completely obsessed with --

Ok we are here talking about Castiel... The "boyfriend" term will be use by Balthazar twice, one with Dean and the other with Sam, referencing to Castiel. Castiel is the boyfriend, and he is cheating on Dean and Sam.

Gif credit @never-forget-viva-la-pluto

Gif set credit @sam-spirit-winchester

Also, making Balthazar calling Castiel as the Winchesters's boyfriend, equally... Another SERA GAMBLE tool, "look Cas isn't Dean's boyfriend, is Sammy's boyfriend too, so... Is irrelevant."

Episode 6x07 we had the boys discovering SAMUEL was working for Crowley, so the entire episode is a big foreshadow of what was about to happen when Dean, Sam and Bobby discover Castiel's deal with the King of Hell. And is also the episode in which the idea about Purgatory and the power of souls is presented.

And ironically, we'll have Dean and Sam literally working for Crowley too, so ... A little hole in the narrative here... But hey... We don't talk about this Season, don't we?

To conclude

Dean asked for the truth and he had it with his brother and he will have it with Castiel, the problem is... Is he ready to handle it?

The first half of the season was a foreshadow for Castiel's secret and we could see in many episodes how the writers showed us what Dean felt by leaving Ben and Lisa and how he will have to handle with a big betrayal.

In Sera Gamble era we had a lot of references to Wincest and holes in the narrative, that we will see more often in the incoming episodes.

I hope you like this! C-u in the next Chronicles!

Tagging

@magnificent-winged-beast

@emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous season 6 Chronicles, the links are here: XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII.

Buenos Aires July 11st 2019 1:47 AM

#destiel chronicles #supernatural meta #destiel meta #season 6 meta #vol. XIX

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dar-manda-rjct · 5 years

Text

Baby? (Pilot)

Summary: Sam and Dean find out that the Impala isn't how they left it. What the hell happened??

Warnings: (i rushed so it's pretty sloppy ma bad) confused baby dean uwu, skeptical and sassy Sam, cussing, HUMAN!IMPALA (i think that's it?¿)

Word count: +1300 idk

i hope you like it (i named it pilot bc this might flop lol love that for me)

Sam and Dean were on a case. They were posing as feds to find clues to a teenage girls death outside of the town. All signs pointed to vamps. They wanted to gonna go get some grub after talking it out with the parents.

"I don't know Dean, this isn't tying together so well, maybe we skipped something?" Sam called after his older brother.

They were heading back to the alley where they parked Baby, Dean was nodding back to Sam while he jabbered on, pretending to care when he actually wanted to bounce this place and get some food.

Dean pulled the keys out of his pocket and turned the corner where they parked the Impala. Where it should be parked.

Dean's pulse quickened. Sam sensed his fear and anger from five feet away.

"Where the hell is my car!" Sam winced, "Deep breaths Dean." Dean whipped around his face pale from being on the edge of passing out, "Shut up Sam!"

A figure rose from behind the dumpster. It was a woman. Her dark skin was bare, she didn't have any clothes on her, Dean spun around on his heels to look away from her naked figure Sam spoke up to her,

"Woah miss you should be-" his voice faded in pure awe.

Dean felt arms wrap around his waist, he lifted his arms and curled his lip in disgust flailing his arms around, "Off, off, off!"

Please help me Dean." He looked back down at her, her golden eyes glaring back at him, they looked familiar but he couldn't place it.

He realized she knew his name. He didn't tell anyone in town his name, he was posing as a federal agent and should be addressed as Agent Morris.

Dean put his hand over where his gun was tucked in his belt, Sam did the same when Dean flickered his uneasy gaze to him.

"How do you know my name?"

The woman's eyebrows furrowed, "You won't believe me, you hunt weird shit like me, but Dean-" Her words were cut off and the wind was knocked out of her lungs as he rammed her into the brick wall, he checked her mouth for any signs of her being a vamp before snarling at her,

"Who the hell are you! How do you know who I am and what I do?" His voice rose and he had his gun out pressing the cold steel to her temple.

The woman didn't flinch she reached into his soul through his eyes with her fiery gaze taking him aback and took the opportunity to shove Dean off of herself and grab a rusty bar that lay next to her.

"I'm your car Dean! I'm Baby! I woke up here and I have legs, I have fucking legs!" Dean stepped off and looked at her chest, his and Sam's initials were carved into it, deep scars. "Bullshit!" Dean said harsher, he disarmed her and thrusted her body into the wall again.

"Baby?" Sam said with a tang of sass. Baby turned to look at him, "Yes!" she brought her arms up in submission "That's what I've been trying to tell you."

Dean glared at her, observing her markings. She showed him the white devil's trap tattoo that was just above her back dimples like the one that was in the trunk, the scars from every crash she endured, mostly on her back and face.

Everything.

Dean's car was human. Why? Who the hell knows.

Sam was the one to break the silence, "Well if you're Baby then where are all the weapons?" She looked at him with a raised brow and then caught onto what he was saying. taking their hands and leading them to where she was hiding earlier.

Behind the dumpster was the mass of guns, holy water, rosaries, knives, machetes, ammunition, and of course, grenade launcher. The duffel bags, cassettes, beer cooler, cases, cellphones, and wads of cash were there too.

Sam stepped closer to her his hazel eyes burning holes into her, "Alright then tell us something only our car would know."

Baby cackled, "I know how much people you slept with in my backseat, that you put legos into my vents, the army men, the amount of heads you've stored in the cooler that was in my backseat, the bodies you stored in the trunk."

She chuckled before the next confession, "When you kidnapped Crowley and put him in the trunk he would hum "Sweet Caroline" to himself. Good times."

She looked at Dean with an evil smirk, "Oh and that you and Cas-" Dean intervened , "OKAAY that'll do." Sam shrugged and pulled Dean to the side, "I mean I believe her."

Dean squinted at him, "What part made you believe her?" Sam raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, looking at Dean. Dean caught on, "Shut up bitch."

Sam and Dean turned back to Baby, "Okay, we believe you, but try anything we will kill you," Baby smiled

"But before we go anywhere you will put on some clothes." Dean waved his finger at her like a scolding parent,

Baby cringed not liking that tone one bit, "Thanks?"

Baby continued to put on one of Sam's red flannel shirts and jeans, they were long, she cut the pant cuffs with a machete and fixed the pants to fit her hips with one if their belts. She took Dean's combat boots and socks and slipped them on.

She walked from behind the dumpster and did a little strut. "Eh? I look good." Sam giggled, "You look like me."

She fumed, "And I still look like a better lumberjack, shut your hole."

Sam, Dean, and Baby rented a car for the time being, considering their main ride had it's own two legs.

The three got back to the motel after getting some food. Baby likes cheeseburgers and fries, a lot. Dean insisted it be her first real meal.

"I love food." She said through a mouthful, the flannel sleeves sunk to her elbows when her hands were angled up because the shirt was so big. "We'll have to go find you some clothes soon." Sam observed her after taking a swig of his beer. Pretty soon Baby would want to try some beer too.

Baby was a fine looking as a human just as she was when she was a car. A few scars, sigil tattoos here and there, but she had the same golden eyes the car's headlights had, dark skin with barely visible freckles and short, dark afro that pulled her little 60s look together.

She had an hourglass figure which was hidden by Sam's clothes, she was about 5'7 and quite muscular, not to mention resourceful.

Even still, she looked as if she just came back from the 60s, it was strange; and they hunt monsters for a living.

"So what now?" Baby leaned into Sam to get his attention away from the computer. Sam looked at Dean, his eye brows furrowed, "Should we let her take this case with us?"

Baby looked at Sam, her gold eyes narrowing questioningly then flickering it over to Dean, curling her lips in a smile and winking, "I think you know the answer Dean-o." Dean looked up at her and chuckled, "Hell no."

Her face got a sarcastic look, "Too bad grasshopper, I'm tagging along. I tag along when I'm a car don't I?"

Dean gave her the Winchester bitch-face, "It's different now, I don't think you even know how limbs work."

Baby frowned, "You'll teach me then, or Sam will." Dean got tired of her stubborn determination, "Fine."

Baby smiled satisfied. "We'll leave in the morning then, get some clothes for Baby, teach her how to use her limbs and then continue on our way it's getting late anyway." Dean announced.

They went to bed early, around 12, Dean didn't sleep much. How could he? His car was asleep in the same bed as him. This job couldn't possibly get any weirder.

Could it?

#human!impala #sam winchester #dean winchester #baby #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #confused #spn fic #spnfandom #spn fanfic #spn fandom #spn family #family #cars #castiel #misha collins #jensen and misha #vampire #hunter

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helianthus21 · 7 years

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Hello! From one bitter Cass stan (who used to be all TFW positive) to another, I too am scared. Because I can't shake the feeling that Castiel won't have that much involvement in the season's arc, if at all. I don't believe a word that comes out of Dabb's mouth because he's a known liar (queue s12). I'm just wondering how disappointed I will be 😞

hey! Okay I’ll do this under the cut because while I guess by now ppl who follow me know I’m not S13 positive, I want the ones who are to have a chance to be able to easily scroll past thisAlso warning: This got more bitter in tone than I expected, so if you want sb to give you some hope and positivity, turn away now! But since you came into my ask box I doubt you wished for that:P

(Just in general: if you wanna vent about the show, my message thingy is always open, turns out I’m not done venting yet either, and that way I can keep it mostly off my blog;) anyway, dude, I feel you. I had tentative hope at the beggining of S12 that with the new showrunner things are gonna change for the better, but honestly? I don’t trust Dabb anymore either. Don’t get me wrong, I still think he’s a good screen writer, but there are things that happened in S12 that I think if he really wanted the show to change he’d not have let them pass. I’m aware that Ross-Leming is married to Singer, and Singer has a lot say in things, and yeah I have no idea how the showrunning business works, but things like Sam/Toni? Couldn’t he have put his foot down on that one if he initially had other plans for her character? And 12x21 man, this time Dabb can’t hold his hands up in all innocence like he did after Charlie. Because he might not have written her death scene, but he’s the fucking showrunner. I doubt Bucklemming are authorized to decide getting rid of her on their own, so like. Yeah, I have a grudge against Dabb. I mean, on the one hand I think if Cas actually gets to have some introspection before he comes back, gets to talk with someone important (Chuck? Billie? himself?) in the Empty or wherever, that could be a real chance for him to overcome his depression and accept himself the way he is (’Are you an angel or a man?’ - ‘Neither. Both.’) (^which would be my ideal way for this to go as you probably already know:P).But on the other hand - argh, I get that they’re going this ‘accentuate his importance via the boys pining in his absence’ route - but good lord, haven’t they done this enough in S12? Haven’t they done this enough in S11 too? Back then I was so hopeful that it was gonna lead somewhere. I told myself, “Okay, Cas is practically gone for the second half of the season but it’s gonna be worth it in the end! At the season finale he’s gonna come back and he’s gonna have some major role to subvert all the things Amara and Ambriel said and what he himself believes about himself, because he’s gonna prove himself as a hero! He’ll reject Lucifer as a first step on the long way to get his self-worth back and show that he’s not someone who just ‘helps’ and that he’s far from ‘expendable’.” I told myself that the whole time - 12 EPISODES, he was gone for 12 EPISODES!! - that he was gonna come back with a bang and it was all gonna be worth it. Because I liked the Casifer arc goddammit, it had potential. Because, for me, this was the only logical way for this to go! But then, of course, he came back and basically just stood around while everyone else got to do a part (yeah, being insulted some more by his fellow angels does not count in my book, and neither does this terrible beer run conversation, don’t even get me started on that one) while everyone got a bit of a scene with Chuck. Everyone except the one who, you know, spent basically his whole character arc searching for God, playing God, losing his faith in God - nah, that’s apparently not of import to the writers ¯\_(ツ)_/¯So you’ll excuse me if I don’t get my hopes up that Cas’ death in 12x23 is gonna actually lead to something this time. I’m not very interested in spending the first few episodes without Cas - “really feeling his absence” bc dude I’ve been feeling his absence all the damn time! They exlude him from scenes and episodes when it’s actually working against the plot and against all logic not to have him there (see 11x09), because the format for some reason demands Misha to be in X episodes and so he won’t be in more than X episodes.I mean, sure, the three Cas-centric episodes in S12 were honestly glorious! But that doesn’t change the fact that he was in less episodes than Mary or Crowley. Quality before Quantity, yes, but then please give me this quality in all of his episodes. I don’t know about you, but him going around interviewing a few ppl, ‘searching for a lead’, that’s not what I’d call quality. That’s not really all there is to hunting and Dabb promised more hunter!Cas in S12 didn’t he. Also is quantity and quality really so hard to pull off? I mean...?? As for his involvement in the next season - I don’t know man. I probably can’t say a lot about that, or shouldn’t, because I’ve run out of chances to give the writers so I’m not gonna keep watching. They did say he shared some ‘bond’ or whatever with Jack so he’s probably gonna have a role in the overall arc, but then I had similar thoughts during the Casifer arc so..At least, the bond’s not gonna be of a romantic kind since Jack is a boy, not a girl, so there won’t be sexual undertones there, although tbh I can’t bring myself to be interested in Jack and his story? Maybe I’d think differently if they’d handled things with Kelly differently.. A shame, really, because the nature vs nurture thing does make for an interesting subject. Anyway, I know it’s too early to judge, but I get the people who worry that this storyline will yet again be taken away from him and fall instead into Sam and Dean’s hands. Wouldn’t be the first time ya know. And like I said, I’m not the best person to talk to about this, bc I can’t seem to find this storyline all too appealing bc of the way they led up to it.. which normally wouldn’t bother me too much since the characters are still A+ and they can make up for any not-so-interesting plot points, but after Eileen, not even that is enough for me tbh.So yeah, you can tell I’m still high-key pissed at the writers. Hey, I watched 12x21, the whole abomination of an episode, I think I deserve to still be bitter. Sorry though.But on a lighter note: the Empty does have potential and we shouldn’t write it off before we - well you - see it (I’m sure I’ll look at gifsets of it^^). And there’s The Hug to look forward to which I’m sure won’t be downplayed if just because Misha and Jensen and Jared know their characters and they wouldn’t half-ass this important reunion.If you wanna give S13 a chance, I’d say don’t get your hopes up too much, but also don’t think the worst? Because having your hopes crushed sucks, but if you only expect the worst, you probably won’t be satisfied with anything. This is all the advice I can give if I put myself into a more neutral position for a minute^^.

#replies #wank for ts #spn negativity #bitter blogging #honestly like really bitter #one day im gonna be above bitter blogging about the show hopefully but today is not that day apparently #i just..highly doubt they care to change #i can't see positivity in the s12 finale sorry #or in s13 for that matter #for real tho do you guys think of me as a cas stan...?#Anonymous

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