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mildswearingat4am · 1 year

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I’m cleaning out my closet and got completely sidetracked by a stack of my old journals. Because like --

I like journals.

As a kid, I liked having something on hand I could pull out in school to doodle and goof off without looking like it. What are they gonna do, get mad I’m writing in a notebook?

Now, I like the idea of having an older version of me preserved in pages so I can see how much I’ve changed and how much has stayed the same. How excited I got over my first experience with something that’s now routine. Wincing at how totally oblivious I was during a Clearly Very Bad mental health situation. Past hopes, past dreams, past music tastes, you know? Sometimes I put a nice leaf in the pages from past autumn.

At the same time, just because I want the record to exist doesn’t mean I want it to be here. In my closet. Taking up space and gathering dust. When something happens my first instinct isn’t to hunt around for a pen and paper, because that feels like a chore. Why do I have to record myself for future dissection? Can’t I just have experiences and accept the me I am now is fleeting?

But I also know how easy it is to rewrite a past you have no record of. Saying oh, it’s always been this way, when in fact you’re getting Bad again. I don’t want kid me to disappear, just like I don’t want to disappear someday when older me can only vaguely recall the mundane stress the 2020s.

But do I want to undertake the arduous ordeal of preserving me? Now? Today? Carrying the past to every new apartment and house and turning it into a personal history museum?

So basically my closet’s still gross and now I’m having an existential crisis

#babbling moth #actually writing this out has been helpful bc i think i will burn my journals #i don't think i really want them in my life yknow? i'm just worried someday i WILL want them #plus. sometimes journalling is just to get stuff out of your head and u have no desire to reread it #best thing to do with that bullshit is a ceremonial cleansing with fire #tbh i think i was being influenced by the whole. oh look at this historical figure's journals!! look at this grocery list from 1800!#yknow the idea that all old stuff is vitally important to preserve bc someday ppl need to know how we lived!!!#when archiving as a profession is very much. only keep a little. gotta throw away a lot bc there is SO much crap from the past #we literally cannot preserve everything. not enough space money manpower etc etc etc #even digitizing is limited bc digital storage space isn't free and also hardware goes out of date and stuff #and you need a plan for it!! paper decays and file formats get obsolete and you need to be actively preserving not just passively saving #(this is based on what archivist family members ansd classmates have told me btw im not personally an expert)#(i just think it's interesting)#anyway time to plan a bonfire

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watchingthefog · 2 years

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FINALYL SOMEONE AS INSANE ABOUT JONAH AS I AM. HELLO.

HELLO

[link for the comic that's from bc it took my forever to find so I could get a screenshot of it]

#i went into this podcast fully expecting Jon to be my favorite. and i do love him!#but. Elias. Jonah.#I'm obsessed with possession‚ what can i say? the Spn angels & demons fan brainrot that will stick with me forever :P #also i just think he's really compelling... his fear of death‚ the fact that he just wants to experience and know *everything*#“I’ve seen more than I could have lived in a thousand lifetimes‚ and every moment was so –”#is that not the draw of fiction in and of itself? is that not why we all devour stories?#i too have seen more than i could have lived in a thousand lifetimes‚ and i hope to see even more #i mean‚ the atrocities aren't that relatable... but a good blorbo needs to be at least a little evil <3 #i just love him so much 🥺#Jonah treating everyone in his real life the exact way i treat fictional characters I'm obsessed with.....#“let's see what horrors we can put the Archivist through today” he says from his desk at his office as he tunes into his favorite tv show #and then he murders a guy in Jon's office and leaves the disfigured corpse for Jon to find (top 10 girlboss moments)#i truly am insane about him <3

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ian0key · 3 months

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SAM/SASHA AND ALICE/TIM????

TMAGP ep 1-2 Spoilers!! (And TMA Spoilers!)

Do you realize how similar Alice and Sam are to Tim and Sasha?

Many of you talked about Alice being fun, carefree and the comic relief, like Tim in the first season.

But what happens if we look deeper? I start with Alice and Tim because I think they are the most obvious

-Alice does not have "professional respect" for either Gwen or Lena.

Just like what happened between Tim and Jon. But none of them go so far as to "completely disrespect them."(at least S1 Tim).

-Alice has a younger brother who she apparently cares a lot about, just like Tim was with Danny. Besides, (this is my theory), but the way they introduced Alice's brother, I get the feeling that his fate won't be very different from poor Danny's.

-They know more than they say, Alice clearly knows more than she tells Sam,Alice has been working for the government for at least 4 years, and the only time she acted seriously was to tell Sam that he shouldn't get too involved in the cases, because she saw people go crazy because of it.

Something similar happened with Tim in the first seasons, he knew that the Fears were real, he knew things about the stranger, he was looking for revenge..

And now on to the similarities between Sam and Sasha.

-They were both overqualified for their position, Lena told Sam that the job he applied for was too low for his level, but he didn't care,on the other hand ,Sasha must have been The Archivist, Gerdtrud knew this, that's why her warning notes were made for her, but Elias found out after Killing Gerdtrud and left Sasha as assistant and put Jon as The Archivist..

-Sam is calm, he follows Alice's games but is professional towards his colleagues, Just like the little we saw of Sasha, She treated Jon quite well even though at the time Jon was a bit... very Shitty.

That's why Jon trusted her so much.

-Curiosity , Sam asked a lot of questions throughout the first 2 chapters, and when he didn't get answers he started investigating on his own. When Sasha met Michael, she wanted answer,without caring about the danger.

Also, That could have been a foreshadowing that Sam will be connected to the Eye of this reality???.

- Both of their names start with "SA" but that's not very important /j

And finally, we analyze Alice and Sam as a duo and the parallels they have with Tim and Sasha.The two of them complement each other perfectly, they play each other's games and we feel their connection.

Besides Alice and Sam are exes (although I think it's more of a reference to Georgie and Jon) Sasha and Tim always had an "almost something?????".like we heard in the fifth season..

I don't know, at some point I felt like I was listening to the reincarnations of the chaotic Archives duo , you know what I mean?

(English is not my first language, please let me know if I have any spelling mistakes🙏)

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ratboyvince · 14 days

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The Magnus Protocol - Glitch theory

In light of the current theory/assumption that in The Magnus Protocol, the audio glitches when the characters lie, I’ve been re listening!! And I’m going to be using this post and others to explore what this means for our beloved characters

The glitches aren’t on the transcript, sometimes there will be a direction like (uncertain) or (unconvincing), but thats the best i can do you for, otherwise you will have to take my word

First though, quick clarifications: what exactly is a lie in this context? - this is fairly obvious but i am including it for the avoidance of any doubt what i have gathered is that, in this theory we are assuming a lie is a character saying something they KNOW is not true in attempt to wilfully deceive someone

It is NOT:

A joke, or sarcasm

Believing something but being wrong

Finally, a lot of the lies i have so far are ones that are known to known to be untrue, what i will do is have a list of the blatant lies SO FAR to make my point, to work as support for the theory on this post then leave out any following ones to avoid making it excessively long.

The rest of them will be under the cut and more on a thread, sorted by episode. If i miss any, feel free to say!!

BLATANT LIES (theory support)

Teddy: Colin was just saying how much of a BLAST he’s having (GLITCH) isn’t that right?

Lena: oh really.

Colin: Aye, sure (GLITCH)

Teddy: And how he’d love to take the after party to the Pub (GLITCH)

Gwen: Sam? You okay?

Sam: um. Yeah. (GLITCH)

Sam: cinnamon swirl. Please. (GLITCH)

Gwen: Wait. Did you get me a coffee?

Sam: yeah. (GLITCH)

Celia: Sorry, sorry, there was an emergency at home (GLITCH)

EPISODES 1-11 (where applicable) UNDER THE CUT

Episode 1

Teddy: Nahh, we’ll stay in touch, right?

Alice: Course…(GLITCH)

Alice either did not intend to keep in touch with Teddy, or genuinely just does not believe they will.

* saying she’ll miss him was NOT a lie, so it’s probably the latter

Episode 3

Sam: right, right i get it. Consider me *scared straight* (GLITCH)

He wasn’t taking Alice seriously, underestimating how serious it actually was (maybe even as light payback for her not taking him seriously)

Episode 5

Lena: I am certain that if he finds his current assignment unmanageable he can request assistance (GLITCH) or resign, of course…

She knows what the deal is with Central IT (whatever “the deal” may be), and just refuses to help. Maybe even sets up a little hostility between Lena and Colin?

Episode 7

Alice: listen, if you need to step out for some air-

Celia: no, I’m fine, really (GLITCH)

Celia was infact, not fine, probably because she recognised Chester’s voice as Jon “The Archivist” Sims himself and she’s freaked out

Episode 8

Gertrude: well I’m…sorry, but I don’t think gerry can help you. (GLITCH)

—

Gerry: -And then i left

Sam: and that’s all?

Gerry: Yeah I’m afraid so! (GLITCH)

Gertrude and Gerry know more than they’re letting on, and intentionally not sharing.

*Gerry not remembering most of it being true, means that while he’s probably leaving something out, there’s more he genuinely is lost on

Sam: I…may have given you a quick google

Celia: then…yeah. I’m doing a favour for Georgie. (GLITCH)

She Is Not Doing A Favour For Georgie - the research (teleportation, time travel, different universes) is more personal!

Episode 11

Sam: you keep glancing at the door

Alice: ah. It’s nothing (GLITCH)

—

Alice: it’ll be nothing! I’m just jumpy (GLITCH)

Alice is dismissing her anxiety following the trip to the institute.

Alice: “What have I told you about thinking?“

Sam: “Don’t.”

Alice: “That’s right.” (GLITCH)

Probably meaning that Alice is starting to doubt her own ideas, but is just pushing that uncertainty away because that’s what she does and she’s still more comfortable in ignorance, even if she doesn’t think it’s exactly RIGHT to ignore.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #magpod #tmagp spoilers #tmagp speculation #theory

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artigas · 5 days

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I’m really happy that Black Sails is experiencing a bit of a renaissance, but (predictably) some of the takes I’m seeing online are so busted. It’s wild to me that anyone would complain about the fact that Anne Bonny kisses Jack after she’s developed this life-changing relationship with Max. It’s absolutely wild to see anyone roll their eyes or feel uncomfortable about the fact that Flint has sex with Miranda when he returns to her in season one or that Max is most likely a lesbian but actively has sex with men for pay and knows how to make that pleasurable. It’s crazy to me that some of the very audiences who claim to want queer representation feel so discomforted when they actually see the mess and seeming inconsistencies of queerness that they asked for.

The reality is that there are lesbians who have had (and will have!) meaningful, mutually-gratifying, and deeply sexual relationships with men. There are gay men who’ve enjoyed having sex with women, who are gay as the day is long and nevertheless feel sexually attracted to a woman or two and are nevertheless gay men, full stop. There are gay cis men who are happily married to trans women. There are femme dom tops and butch bottoms and there are mascs afab people who like femme boys. There are non-binary people and trans men who actively identify as lesbians. There are ace and aro people who enjoy thinking about and engaging with sex — sometimes in fiction and sometimes in real life. Queerness, in fiction and in reality, defies neat categorization. That is the beauty, power, and (perceived) unorthodoxy of queerness.

Now, I’ll say this — do I think the straight men behind Black Sails were actively thinking deeply and insightfully about the paradoxes and fuckery of queer identity when they wrote Black Sails? No! By their own admission, Steinberg and Levine have owned up to the fact that some of the writing of the show was really hinged on their own blind spots as people who are not (to my knowledge) members of the queer community. If I want to be generous, I think that the beautiful mess of Black Sails is that, in not feeling like experts enough to designate specific identity labels to any of their characters, the writers stumbled their way into more authentic representation of lived queer experience, which is to say that the notion that James Flint was actively thinking of himself as a gay man was anachronistic. As many lesbian archivists and theories have noted, the notion of a queer identity — as in, queerness is who you are, not what you do — was patently unthinkable for most cultures in the past. In other words, the idea that Anne Bonny operates in the eighteenth century as a lesbian and thus would not willingly engage in relationships with men is not only untrue of the series, but untrue of most recorded lesbian experiences in the real world. The notion that a lesbian would operate her entire life without engaging sexually or romantically with men, for instance, is a very new privilege that some of us are very lucky to enjoy, but it is not true for the vast majority of human history — hell, it’s not even true of our present world.

This is all to say that think that there’s something really funny about how we want queer characters to fit into neatly organized boxes. This isn’t a new problem, either. When the show was still airing, the BS fandom would get itself into tizzies about wether or not Flint is gay or bisexual, wether or not Anne Bonny is a lesbian, wether or not Silver is queer when his only canonical relationship is with Madi, etc etc. We’ve been having these discourses for years and I don’t know. I get that much of it is fueled by how badly some people want to see themselves represented in media, but . . . well. The siloing of queer characters and queer narratives into neat little boxes has never felt very authentic to me and nine times out of ten, it’s also just so damn boring.

#black sails #anyways I gotta stop yapping #its just wild seeing the same arguments play out on twitter and other corners of tumblr when like #lmao I was there for the day when like 2.5 people got very angry that I referred to Max as a queer woman ONCE #and interchangeably with calling her a lesbian lmao #when I tell you … I love this show but those writers were not being that intentional with any of this lmao

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earthstellar · 10 months

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Warlord Ratchet: A Fascinating Concept

“And to think, the Doctor of Doom’s mad quest for power continues...! His marauders pursued us to this planet’s orbit.”

What gets me about Megatron telling Orion Pax that the current dilapidated condition of Cybertron was brought about by the Warlord Ratchet, Doctor of Doom (aside from the concept in and of itself) is that he also states that Ratchet has a legion of marauders who carry out his bidding

and because marauders are raiders, and Megatron states they were “pursued by marauders” to Earth, the implication is that Ratchet is not on Earth himself--

-- which is smart on Megatron’s behalf, because this would deter Orion from potentially attempting to leave in order to confront Ratchet and instils a concern that perhaps marauders may appear at any time (at this point, Orion Pax does not yet realise that he is armed and is operating under the belief that he is still an Archivist and therefore not Warrior Class)

but also, this gives us the incredible mental image of Ratchet milling around in some kind of rusted fortress made from the remains of several different Cybertronian buildings, quite possibly the remnants of Iacon -- maybe even the central hospital there, converted into a hive of terror

still living on an otherwise uninhabited planet, with a loyal band of raiding troops who scavenge the remains of their world and possibly other planets as well (as we know these marauders supposedly have space capable vessels), quite possibly doing so in order to source spare parts and other various salvage -- Ratchet is a medic, who knows how he’s been having to piece together his army, repairing them from the remains of random citizens?

and he supposedly, presumably either from his makeshift base in the shadows of Cybertron or from a war ship of some kind, commanded an army of raiders to chase Megatron and his followers as far away as Earth

“I cannot imagine Ratchet capable of such horrors!”

I can only guess at what Orion Pax was thinking in this moment, aside from his immediately stated disbelief: What drove Ratchet to such lengths? What happened to turn his compassionate, caring friend into a warlord capable of carrying out inconceivable destruction? How could such a thing occur, especially at the hands of a respected medic, someone he thought he knew so well?

Would Orion Pax start to blame himself, for what was clearly the brutal decline of one of his greatest friends? I can imagine him starting to wonder if there was anything he could do, any signs of discontent, any indication that Ratchet was headed down a violent, dark path.

And I’m sure he would be concerned about Ratchet himself, as well. How is Ratchet faring, nearly entirely alone on their planet save for his loyal bandits, as aged and worn as he ever has been, possibly accepting a lonely inevitable death on an already dead world?

Or does Warlord Ratchet have yet more plans in store, his instruments of destruction poised to afflict themselves upon other worlds as well?

The Doctor of Doom: How Could This Happen?

It’s somewhat easy to dismiss the idea of Ratchet being this “Doctor of Doom”, because it so wildly opposes what we know of the character and what we know actually occurred with the war.

But when you think about it for a little bit, an unhinged Ratchet would very much be a formidable opponent, especially with his social position in pre-war Cybertron giving him more immediate access to higher class/caste areas than many others would have been able to reach...

...Perhaps this Warlord Ratchet was able to work his way into the Council’s good graces, possibly after attending to one of them after an injury and restoring them to health, gradually manipulating the Senate from the inside in order to secure more power, resources, allies, and ultimately the whole of Cybertron for himself-- Leading to a violent conflict which resulted in the destruction of their world?

With his medical knowledge, even if he started out with a fairly small number of followers and whatever troops he could finesse away from the Council, he may very well have “built” some himself-- We do see in TFP that protoforms may be possible to manipulate into certain frame types, or some types of “cloning” may be possible.

Any version of Ratchet without morals (or at the very least without any medical ethics) is a very dangerous Ratchet.

Repairing the injured via patching them together with the remains of fallen comrades, creating a “zombie” army. Ghoulish, lumbering soldiers, marauders held together with armour designed for other frame types. Instructing his former colleagues (who would likely have at least started out with some inclination to follow him) to carry out “repairs” in such a way.

Warlord Ratchet himself may have chosen to ingest dark energon much like Megatron actually did, perhaps out of a desire to create a new fuel source once Cybertron began to go dark and natural fuel sources began to dwindle. We already know that our actual Ratchet wasn’t afraid to test synthetic energon on himself, with similar motivations.

His base of operations would quite possibly be Iacon’s medical centre, turned into a horrific hive-like structure, some wards actively still in use for repairs (at least for his own followers) and other areas dedicated to terrifying research, with supply basements full of experimental tech and defensive weaponry.

Ratchet’s more support class (as opposed to warrior class) approach to things may well carry over to Warlord Ratchet’s approach to war-- An emphasis on intelligence ops, R&D, indirect and direct manipulation, initial political manoeuvring from within the existing system, and defensive systems to counter any munitions etc. that may come his way from opposing forces.

His initial goals may well have genuinely been intended to improve Cybertron, to help people. Much like Megatron, back when he was Megatronus and wanted a more egalitarian, fair society.

After working on lower class/caste bots who were nearly offlined from a lack of maintenance, poor to no access to healthcare prior to being dragged to him, etc. it may have been the catalyst for his decision to start using his upper class social contacts in an effort to change things from the inside out.

Unfortunately, in this universe in which Warlord Ratchet rose to power, things may have derailed just as severely as they did with Megatronus and his initially well-intentioned efforts.

The longer you think about it, the more plausible it could be.

It would be easy for Megatron to build further upon this idea to manipulate Orion Pax, that Ratchet truly could have done this.

I’m sure Orion Pax did not recharge well, his first night on the Nemesis.

Where did things go wrong? What happened to his friend? How could he do this to their world, a world that Ratchet loved so much?

IDK I just think “Warlord Ratchet” is an incredible idea, and I would have been totally fine if they did a whole season of TFP with the Orion Pax concept lmao

also holy shit Ratchet in a built up fortress of a former hospital with a band of marauders under his command is such a powerful mental image

[Screenshot: TFP Episode - Orion Pax, Part One]

#tfp #transformers prime #megatronus #megatron #tfp megatron #tfp orion pax #orion pax #tf ratchet #tfp ratchet #maccadam #maccadams #warlord ratchet #me thinkin out loud again #long post

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in1-nutshell · 2 months

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Okay I just had an idea for The Old Predacon archivist buddy for transformers prime how would ratchet and Optimus and possibly Megatron and starscream or maybe Orion would react to The old archivist Predacon buddy I can just see old Predacon buddy geeking out with Orion and Buddy would be like a mentor to Orion and Buddy would most likely try and make sure the humans stay out of trouble but how would The decepticons react to Predacon buddy go absolutely berserk like They just snap due to Predacon buddy's patience being completely gone because Predacon buddy doesn't really become angry or agitated because they have a lot of patience but at some point they are going to snap and is possibly going to show why they were terrifying in the gladiatorial arenas (also I probably think PreKing would be the adopted kid of old Predacon buddy lol but if you want you can add preKing if you want to) =]

Someone's going to do the impossible... making Buddy snap.

We will get Predaking and Buddy's interactions another time.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the Old Predacon archivist snapping

SFW, Platonic, mention of injury, hurt and comfort, Cybertronain reader

TFP

When Buddy was back on Cybertron they had finally managed to score their dream job.

Being an archivist in Iacon.

Not that they really needed the job.

They managed to buy their own freedom from all the fights they fought, and they were still loaded from the other jobs they did on the side.

But they got bored, and they loved spending time in the halls of Iacon, not like anyone would be able to get them out anyways.

Buddy curled up beside one of the shelves intently reading a data pad.

One of the security guards turned the corner seeing the giant bot and just turning the other way.

They weren’t getting paid enough to deal with that.

Buddy managed to become acquainted with one of the clerks in the halls.

A small mech.

Orion Pax.

Orion walking into the halls after getting back from talking with Megatronus.

“Pax! My friend, there you are.”--Buddy

Orion spots Buddy happily walking over to him giving a slight shoulder hug.

Orion reciprocates the hug from his friend.

“I am fine Buddy.”--Orion

“Anything interesting happen?”--Buddy

“Not particularly.”--Orion

“I found the data pad you were looking for.”--Buddy

Buddy passes the data pad to Pax.

“Really? Where did you find it?”--Orion

“On the top shelf.”--Buddy

“…”--Orion

Orion was also starting to think he attracted dangerous looking bots.

Buddy loved spending time with the mech.

He was insightful for his age; it was nice to see it in the younger generations.

Buddy would share bits of their wisdom with him from time to time.

“Word of advice Pax, never get a Predacon angry. Especially in the air, you’ll be asking to get sliced by that point.”--Buddy

“What?”--Orion

“Trust me on that one Pax. It’s not pretty.”--Buddy

“…We were just talking about the rude client that stepped on your tail.”--Orion

When the time came for Orion and Megatronus, Buddy had a bad feeling about the whole meeting.

They never trusted the Senate.

Buddy would have been freed a long time ago if it weren’t for the Senate’s ruling over the arenas, this just further proved it.

Ratchet and Buddy waiting outside.

“What do you think will happen after this?”--Ratchet

“… I do not know Ratchet… Never have trusted the Senate. They are an unpredictable and diabolical bunch, there’s no telling what their agenda is.”--Buddy

Buddy turns to Ratchet.

“No matter what, keep an optic out for Pax for me will you?”--Buddy

“What? Where is this coming from?”--Ratchet

Buddy looking at their servos.

“Someone needs to try and look after Megatronus. Gladiator to gladiator.”--Buddy

“Buddy you’re too old to try and fight him now.”--Ratchet

“I’m not going to fight him Ratchet, just keeping an optic out for him. Hopefully this won’t last too long my friend.”--Buddy

Time skip after Buddy joins the Autobots.

Buddy enjoyed the little reunion with Optimus and Ratchet when they came to the base.

Granted they could have given them a fair warning…

Autobots minding their own business in the base.

Ratchet trying to reach the tool on the high shelf.

Buddy reaching over and handing it to him.

“Thank you.”--Ratchet

“You’re welcome.”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

Ratchet suddenly looking behind him meeting the chassis of Buddy.

“BUDDY!?”--Ratchet

Suddenly everyone realizes the giant Predacon on base.

Everyone’s weapons are pointed to Buddy as they calmly continue their conversation with Ratchet.

“Hello Ratchet! It’s been some time, no?”--Buddy

“How—What—HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IN HERE?!”--Ratchet

“I have my ways. Now, where’s Optimus?”--Buddy

Cue Optimus coming in with a data pad in his servo.

Buddy whipping their helm towards the sounds of the pedes and smiling widely.

“Prime!”--Buddy

Optimus having to do a double take.

“Buddy?”--Optimus

Buddy walks over to the Prime giving him a frame crushing hug, while Ratchet is trying to calm everyone down.

“Its been too long my friend.”--Buddy

“I thought that the war—”--Optimus

“Its going to take a lot more than a couple fireworks to keep me grounded Prime.”--Buddy

“Is there a reason why you’re here?”--Optimus

“Yes. I’m helping your side now.”--Buddy

“Why?”--Ratchet

“I will admit I was a fool for thinking there was still room to negotiate things with Megatron, the Predacon incident was the final straw. There is no turning back for him.”--Buddy

“Yeah… sorry about that?”--Bulkhead

“None taken my friend.”--Buddy

“Friend?”--Wheeljack

“Any friend of Pax—I mean Prime and Ratchet is my friend.”--Buddy

“Hey!”--Miko

Buddy looking down seeing a human girl with pink highlights.

“Hello? And who might you be?”--Buddy

“I’m Miko! That’s Jack and the little one’s Raf.”--Miko

“I’m not that little!”--Raf

Buddy watching the three humans have a little squabble.

Buddy is already making an oath to protect these teeny humans with their life.

Buddy loves the kids to death.

But they are going to be the death of them.

Stress is not good for the elderly.

Everyone constantly tries to see where Buddy’s limits are.

So far none of them had reached it.

But someone did.

Starscream did.

He did the impossible.

He made the old Predacon finally snap.

All he had to do was some light kidnapping and harm.

The Second in Command thought it was a great idea to kidnap the kids.

After tracking down their signal, Buddy was the first to find them while Starscream was still in the air.

Then Starscream transformed, letting the children drop out of his cockpit.

Buddy yelled as they dove down to catch them all on their backside.

While inspecting them, they noticed that Miko was holding her leg in pain.

“Is everyone okay?! Miko? Miko, what’s wrong?”--Buddy

Miko holding her leg with tears rolling down her face, biting her lip. Jack and Raf trying to steady her on Buddy’s back.

Buddy taking a better look at Miko’s leg, no leg should have been bent like that.

“What’s wrong Predacon? Your age finally caught up with you? Humans are so fragile aren’t they.”--Starscream

“What. Did. You. Do.”--Buddy

Starscream had the audacity to come over and laugh, admitting to having snapped the leg before tossing her in.

Snap!

Buddy carefully slipped the humans into one of their subspaces and headed into the nearest groundbridge.

Carefully passing them to Ratchet before sprinting back into the open groundbridge.

Optimus suddenly worried for his friend went behind his back in his jet pack. He hadn’t seen Buddy run that fast in a very long time.

The Prime had heard of Buddy’s fighting skills many times, even having the privilege to train a bit with them.

But it was a completely different experience seeing it with his own optics in the air.

Buddy bursting through the groundbridge grabbing their sword with a murderous look on their faceplate.

“STARSCREAM!”--Buddy

Buddy begins to fight Starscream avoiding all missiles and switching between their two modes to fight him.

“Where was this when you were a part of the Decepticons?! Where—”--Starscream

SLAM!

Buddy roundhouse kicking Starscream in the chassis.

“DON’T!”--Buddy

PUNCH!

“TOUCH!”--Buddy

KICK!

“MY!”--Buddy

SLAM!

“KIDS!”--Buddy

If Soundwave had not groundbridged him out of there The Second in Command would have been another number on Buddy’s scored board.

Good news for Starscream.

Bad news for the Decepticons…

Lazerbeak had caught the entire thing on video.

Decepticons looking at the main screen at Starscream’s beat down.

“Oh. My…”--Knockout

“They could have done that!? Here!?”--Breakdown

“…Do you think that the Autobots are still open for new recruits?”--Steve

Meanwhile with the Autobots.

After Buddy calmed down, they went back to the base with Optimus behind them.

The two didn’t talk much going back.

In a way, Starscream deserved that.

No one was going to hurt the kids without suffering any consequences.

Jack and Raf suffered from minor scrapes and bruises.

Miko had her femur snapped in half.

Lucky for her, it was a clean break.

Buddy did not leave the kids side for a long time.

They got too anxious whenever one of them was gone for too long.

To keep some peace, Buddy was allowed to protect them in the base while their guardians still did their jobs.

Especially when Miko decided to try and sneak out on another mission.

Bulkhead was lucky enough to catch Miko and bring her back to base.

“Miko you’re still healing. You still need a couple more days of rest, then you’ll be up and at it no time!”--Bulkhead

“I guess…” --Miko

The two walk into the base hearing a bunch of crashing and metal scrapping.

“Buddy you need to calm down!”--Ratchet

“Where is she!? Where is she?! I swear I just turned my back for one second! What if she’s hurt Ratchet!?”--Buddy

“She’s right there.”--Ratchet

Buddy turning around to see Miko on Bulkhead’s servo.

“Oh, thank the Primes…”--Buddy

Buddy transforms into their dragon form, gently picks up Miko from her shirt, curls up around her while ‘trapping her with their giant claws.

Raf and Jack join in the cuddle pile.

“You kids are not making it easy for an old timer like me.”--Buddy

“Oh please, Ratchet’s the oldest one here.”--Miko

“No, he’s not.”--Buddy

“No, I’m not”--Ratchet

“I’m the oldest one here Miko.”--Buddy

“Wait so you’re older than Ratchet? By how much?”--Raf

“… To put it into perspective, Ratchet is still a kid in my optics.”--Buddy

“How old are you!?”--Miko

“That’s a question for another time Miko. Get some rest.”--Buddy

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp x platonic reader #tfp optimus prime #tfp optimus x platonic reader #tfp ratchet #tfp ratchet x platonic reader #tfp jack #tfp raf #tfp miko #tfp starscream

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inkskinned · 1 year

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glory be to the topsoil. to the worms. to the private church of mushrooms. what makes for a better angel than the quiet promise of decomposition - that thankless, endless task. returning to the earth: this is a final prayer.

you said to me - we understand so much of history through the lens of how each society handled death. i have been thinking about the funeral industry. about embalming. how the devil is supposed to be almost-human, charming. i was raised on teflon pans. the poison in my blood came from good intentions; sprinkled over pancakes and scrambled eggs. will those particles go, too, when i go?

i keep thinking about how many cultures personify death as being gentle. as being a friend. as being kind-of-beautiful. an outstretched hand. oh, we scowl so much at carrion birds; but they make their nests by the worship of a carcass. something about that feels beautiful to me.

i am often scared. i understand why some people seek immortality, even if it's not something i desire. i spend a lot of time worrying about coffins. i spend a lot of time thinking about how if they dug me up, my bones would tell very little about my soft spots. so many of my friends say - i just want to be a tree. i want to find a quiet space and go home. the other day, we got the bill from the funeral home, and i just stood there, staring. this is death?

you said: it's learning backwards. from how a society approaches death, we might learn how they celebrate life. i worry about what that means, sometimes. about what others will think about us. divorced from our contexts, maybe alien archivists will have a fondness for our tendency to call death sleep. maybe they will write essays titled towards the light: an analysis on how some sects of humanity worshipped solely facing east.

oh, there's so much about my life that won't survive. especially these days. there's so little that lasts in-the-same-shape. oh, if the universe is kind - i want them to know that we loved moss. that we loved lichen. that even decay could be beautiful for us; the little warm space of mulch. how i will go home, one day, in the body of a bird. in a worm. in a leaf.

how when we lay a body in the ground, we say: be at peace.

oh, to go to sleep so gracefully. when i go i want to leave no mark. i want the dirt to take me. // r.i.d & a.b

#spilled ink #@cryptidfucky #this is probably the right time after 10 years of being on this site #to tell u all that i have 5 names actually #bc im hispanic #and i COULD have used my other initials #which would have been RIP #and the fact i didn't is like. i mean like . where's my award #edit in the tags: i don't know anything about anything. ask alex #i collaborated with them here meaning #alex said a bunch of cool shit and i just stood there like :o

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1863-project · 2 months

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For the ask game: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

[ask meme]

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I...actually get frustrated with the infantilization and/or demonization of characters that could be read as autistic, because it happens so often and there's such a lack of self-awareness when people do it. If one person headcanons it, a bunch of other people pile on, and before you know it, your character is being treated like someone else entirely - and unfairly so.

Let's take the most obvious example and the reason I don't engage with fandom much:

I am so tired of what fandom at large has done to Emmet since 2010. He's been infantilized since day one, often being portrayed as needing Ingo to take care of him or otherwise be his brother's keeper. He's also been turned into a violent, 'unhinged' stereotype since day one. Neither of these things are new. They've been happening since the release of the games. Neither of them have any basis in his canon characterization - a competent railroad employee who's a goofball but simultaneously responsible and always puts safety first.

I was hoping people had moved past that the way they moved past Blankshipping (though some people still do this, too, EW), but it seems like they haven't. Emmet is still either a helpless child or a serial killer waiting to happen to so many of these people, and as someone who actually felt so validated and seen the first time she discovered Ingo and Emmet, it hurts so deeply.

In real life, I'm also infantilized. I turn 35 this year and have a Master’s degree and work a big grown-up adult archivist job and live outside my parents' house, but because I'm neurodivergent and short, I'm frequently assumed to be and am treated like a teenager way more often than you'd reasonably expect. It's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like an innocent child because you don't meet neurotypical benchmarks of adulthood the way they want you to or because of the way you carry yourself or enjoy things. But at the same time, people shy away from me because I'm "too intense" about the things I care about.

Sound familiar?

Fandom was, when I was a younger girl, a place where neurodivergent people (especially autistic and ADHD people) were safe from the real world not understanding, accommodating, and accepting us. We generally kept things on the down-low, since it was another thing we'd be bullied for if people knew, but for us, it was a safe space. Then people realized fandom could be commodified, and once capitalism got a hold on fandom and made it mainstream, all our bullies were suddenly in our little space again, and...well, you probably know the rest. (Yeah, they brought their ableism with them.)

I'm not saying old fandom didn't have its problems. It had a LOT of problems. But it was, altogether, a safer space for neurodivergent people to find community and themselves than it is now. Now it feels more about producing things and moving on to the next big thing to produce more "content" to keep engagement instead of an actual community of nerdy, passionate people getting excited about each other's fanworks and chatting about their favorite things together.

And that reflects in how people treat autistic and autistic-coded characters now. Emmet is one example of many - look at Papyrus, or Entrapta, or numerous others.

This trend really, really fucking hurts, and I cannot stand how willingly fandom spaces just go along with it without thinking critically about it.

#replies #moonflower01 #fandom ableism #autism #actuallyautistic #Pokemon #Submas

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the-magpie-archives · 1 year

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Several times recently I've found myself making tea whilst listening to The Magnus Archives, and as a result I've developed a silly little headcanon...

I'm not sure if it's a nationwide thing, but certainly throughout my life I've experienced the weird stigma of having sugar in your tea. It's not direct or aggressive, but there always seems to be this vague notion that sweetening your tea makes you less strong, less manly. I rarely see men ask for sugar, and often observe an obvious proudness in teenage boys when they say "no sugar, thanks."

Picture Jonathan Sims, newly appointed archivist, worried he's not good enough, placed haphazardly in power of people who were very recently peers, and desperately trying to prove he's the right man for the job. Everything seems to be falling apart a bit, and he's not at all sure his assistants have any faith in him; he had to ask for a tape recorder because he couldn't get his laptop to work properly - that's embarrassing.

Now imagine Martin: office sweetheart, gets along with pretty much anyone, just moved to a new position working with two close friends, and the attractive guy from research is his boss (he's a bit rude and stuck up, but it's probably just the stress, right?). He's pretty comfortable! Aside from the occasional snide remark from Jon it is a good job, which is especially pleasing considering how he got to work at the institute in the first place.

Two opposing forces, as we all well know! But what's better at building bridges than a nice cup of tea? Martin makes a lot of tea, but I like to think he memorises how everyone takes theirs. Regardless, he has to ask at least once.

And so, kind, sweet, gentle Martin, his offer of a cup of tea promptly accepted, would have the misfortune of saying, "do you take that with sugar?" to an embarrassed, flustered Jon, who's trying desperately not to confront any romantic feelings he might have hidden away. The ensuing scoff and slightly too enthusiastic 'No! Thank you.' would be enough to remember that preference for a while.

As times go on, hundreds of cups of tea later, things get less tense between the pair, and Martin never has to revisit the question; but late one night, shortly before Jon is to leave for Great Yarmouth and Martin is to risk it all to take down Elias, Jon places a hand gently on Martin's shoulder and asks "Could I have a cup of tea?". Of course Martin says yes, it's the least he could do, but as he turns to go and make it, Jon calls out again. "With sugar, please."

Just a tiny vulnerability, but enough. By that point most of Jon's facade has been torn roughly away many times, but letting go of small points of pride often means more than non-deliberate actions. Having enough bravery to admit to liking something soft and sweet is harder than you'd think.

Maybe during those six months after, Martin would watch the sugar dissolve into his own tea with a painful melancholy, the sweetness a bitter memory.

#This is so much soppier than the stuff I usually write‚ but the mind wants what the mind wants 😌#I was planning to write this as fluff only but that's not where it wanted to go #But God. It's literally just like Peter Lukas said‚ cos they love eachother so much and so intensely #But how much do they ever really know about eachother? It shows how much they truly love eachother who who they are #But it also makes it so much more tragic that they loved eachother so much yet they never got to know everything about the other...#Anyways that's enough of that!#tma #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #Jmart #Jonmartin #teaholding #tma headcanons #Fun fact I actually wrote this instead of writing case studies for real life because the only academia in my brain is tma...#Also if you read this far put in the tags how many sugars you take in your tea... I'm curious...#I'm a monster so I take 3 or just pour roughly that amount into the cup :/

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hopeforkitten · 2 months

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the plot where Raphael hides / saves us from the ascended Astarion is already classic, but what about the plot where we find ourselves between the devil Raphael and the god Gale?

The ending of the game is with Gale's novel, where he ascends and we signed a contract with Raphael. A dialogue with the two of them, but Raphael snaps his fingers and takes his debtor to the house of hope, as befits the devil.

So Gale, I have your sweetheart, and I will gladly exchange her for the crown she promised me.

Raphael, of course, could torment us in a sophisticated way, but it is also possible to leave us in the painful expectation of our beloved, who will not come.

(I love Gale, but I really doubt that he would give up the desired divinity and first of all I'm Raphael's girl so I need this development heh)

We settled in the archive, dutifully waiting for our savior, and being completely sure that he would come. Raphael rarely comes to us, and we ignore him with our nose in the air, because in our head we are already free from this captivity.

Raphael smiles rapaciously, watching the changes in our behavior. A bored lady first hides behind books, then throws them aside and looks more tense, her hair and clothes are in more and more disarray. She starts wandering around the archive and does not notice the rest of its inhabitants, she mumbles non-stop, "He will come back. He'll be back. He will definitely come back for me."

The mouse's strength in the cage is running out and she gets discouraged. He's just sitting on the floor hugging his legs.

Raphael gives orders to the archivist and approaches the little prisoner. There is triumph on his face.

"You know, you're the first guest I've had who gives me so much pleasure just by being there, little mouse." The girl continues to stare into the void, not reacting to him. Raphael's emotions deteriorate, he frowns.

"But you're not being funny anymore, honey. I don't think your lover is getting discouraged right now. He has admirers and confidants. He follows the destinies of people and supports their wildest desires. To some extent, it's like me." Raphael praises himself and looks dreamily around.

"I can help fulfill any ambitions. The only question is, do you still have them?" He looks down at the girl, who finally raises her haggard gaze to him.

"I don't think so. All of them remained in your dizzying journey to my crown. You gave up everything for him, didn't you? He promised to share divinity with you. You paved his way to Celestia, but he chose to go up there alone."

"Is that fair, little mouse?" He tries to find the answer, peering into her pale eyes, but does not find it.

"Well, no, you're not funny at all." Raphael gently claps his hands, awakening her attention and obedience.

"Follow me"

The way to the boudoir is not long, the debtor quietly drags her feet behind him. And she remains standing by the pool while Raphael walks to the back of the room.

Haarlep perks up on the red sheets noticing the guest. But he is somewhat upset to distinguish a battered debtor in her.

"Take care of our guest." Raphael gives a brief command.

"Um, it's not for me to lecture you, I thought you liked more... sensible specimens."

"I assure you, her brilliant mind will quickly return to normal. Make her look decent, talk to her, refresh the dying embers of her soul. I'm sure you'll like her."

"Well, if you think so."

Raphael leaves, and Haarlep remains to bring the mouse back to normal. The incubus washes her body and hair, asks questions and, without receiving answers, criticizes her apathetic state.

Later, the little mouse, clean and smelling good, sits on the bed while Haarlep smears her roughened elbows with cream, simultaneously lamenting to Raphael.

"Of course I'm thrilled with what a wreck you've turned God's beloved into, but it's up to me to put her in order."

We are definitely fine, we accept all their words, but we are silent out of resentment until Raphael uses his diabolical conviction.

"Tell me, little mouse, who's to blame for you being here?"

It's my fault, because I made a deal with the devil."

"Wow, she's really talking," Haarlep comments,

"Wrong answer, mouse, you can get out of here, but someone just doesn't want to get you out of here."

Raphael will use us to set up our resentment against Gale, whitewashing himself and forcing us to work for the good of his future kingdom.

• How do you like the moment that Gale lovingly taught us the magic of a wizard, so when we now return this knowledge, his image also returns: his face, his soft voice, his hands guiding ours. This depresses the soul of the captive and awakens unnecessary emotions, therefore, on the part of Raphael's strategy, it is worth changing the nature of our magic and making us his warlock, thus getting under the skin of the most intimate memories and replacing Gale with himself.

Well... I guess his final goal is to take the crown with our hands. It's quite beautiful. yes

#raphael bg3 #raphael x tav #raphael x reader #haarlep #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #gale dekarios

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jbird-the-manwich · 10 months

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I keep running into a sentiment along the lines of “If you’re a witch you shouldn’t need to study” and A) I feel like it has to come from tiktok (or that one scene in GoT and they wanna cosplay circe for a minute) and B) there’s almost always an insinuation that any who do study are looking to correct a lack of ability. I think we should actively dismantle the notion that studying witchcraft or magic and performing the labor of information hunting and verification is always a power grab or a pursuit of results actually.

You can get fine results without tomes of historical spells. but studying is fun. Especially when in the course of that study you often find threads of theory or practice that despite vast gaps of distance or time have nevertheless appeared to have evolved very similarly.

You don’t need to know things I suppose. But you also don’t need a wall of funko pops or plants or paintings. There is enrichment in the act of collecting, curating and preserving. Decorating your mind and your books and your drives with little scraps of treasured, hard won data. Particularly when what you collect is obscure historical parallels or precedent for things you yourself experience. Seeing how other people have wielded and directed and policed power throughout time can be and often is less driven by a thirst for power itself and more a thirst for knowledge, trivial and not.

Most of us already know how to wield our own power. That’s not what we're looking for. We’re looking for inspiration, information, a thread we can pull chronologically from one age back to another to find that it’s some semblance of ourselves holding the other end. To see the creativity and logic of our ancestors. To learn the ways in which magical practice has been rationalized. Some of us simply have an archivists bent and find joy in the work of learning itself. It’s not about the power. It’s about the high. The Interest. The Intrigue. Some of us just plain adore a spreadsheet. Some of us are witches and nerds. Sometimes studying is a hobby. Some of us like to pick up a book and come away with an answer to why the fuck we found a shoe in the wall that one time. Some of us want to leave behind for our progeny a grimoire or seven that slaps. Some of us are alchemists and artificers and smiths and enchanters in the genuine physical sense and require data to generate an object we’ve been tasked to create. Some of us are comforted by the knowledge that we’re merely doing a dance that has been done before. Some of us want the future generations of our bloodlines to know exactly where to look if they’ve been cursed. Some of us are just procrastinating. But I would bet that most if not all of us are studying within a context that invalidates the sentiment that we’re bothering to learn at all because we’re not “powerful enough” otherwise. Some of us just want to see what other people did with the same power in a different context. Some of us are hereditary and long-matured in our ways and have massive beautiful veiny dicks you will never get to see with that attitude.

#witchblr

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r0semultiverse · 1 month

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Mr. 6 made you do a good show to be released?? 👀 um....

This is already giving serious eye vibes.

A whole show dedicated to public humiliation?

The Mr. Bonzo suit started moving??? 👀 Serious stranger vibes. 🤡

"It actually became a sort of ritual"

I've seen people being like "don't cross tag" but buddy... the writing cross tags itself here I mean c'mon! 😂 Something something ritual of the stranger- okay, I'll keep listening!

Hey, what's with the music?? Hey, who is Terrance Menki???👀

"The police said there were eleven bodies in total and his wardrobe was full of all sorts of homemade costumes." BRO IS ACTUALLY MAGNUSPOD WILLIAM AFTON-

"It certainly had a profound effect on the Mr. Bonzo brand." Oh I'm sure it did, holy fucking shit. 👀

Oh, me using this image is rather ironic now.

"In a lot of ways I’m more his prisoner now than I ever was on my show." WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 👀

"The witness statements from three murders over the last five years that claim a person in a Mr. Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat?" Has the fear of clowns manifested as an actual clown-guything?

"Don’t contact us again." "Us?" "Why am I still trapped dealing with all this this- Why won’t he let me go?! Why-" So Mr. Bonzo is absolutely a clown cryptid of sorts with some sort of hold over Nigel.

Oh no, Gwen's about to fuck around & find out, isn't she? 👀

Hey, is Colin still himself & is he supposed to be back?

Hmm, okay, I guess that's him (hopefully).

"Maybe don’t tell them I’ve been on their terminals. They’ll only get the wrong idea." "If Lena asks, I wasn’t here." Seems like everyone's got their own little secret investigations going on, fun! This can only go well! 🙃

One of the episodes absolutely no one shows up to work except Lena is there & is like "where the fuck did everyone go?"

"Time to get some new hires again I guess."

Let's go!! Ruin exploration gang!!

"Like, it’s Saturday night and I’m choosing to hang out in a hole with you. A wet hole. And not the good kind either."

Alice with the absolute best quotes. lmao

That sounds like something with giant wings like a bat or some sort of cloth flapping in the wind. Let's hope it's the latter!

Oh a rusty old filing cabinet! Wait tetanus- 😭

"That carved floor in the big atrium – I don’t know what’s going on with that." Ah so we're just gonna breeze past that then. 😶

These are probably the remnants of old avatar creation test areas like mentioned in the Gerry & Gertrude episode. I'm just assuming here.

A key? Big find! Let's go!

AS I WAS SAYING-

Gwen, it was nice knowing you. 🫡

"Now get out of his house."

Archivist! 👁👄👁

"symbols of ancient otherworldly power"

Wait could this be a timeline where this universe's Jane Prentiss actually did manage to invade the building & succeed? I'm thinking out loud.

21:10 that sounds like critters, insects specifically 👀

"I have memories of weird stuff I saw here, but no context. I want to know what was happening, why they chose us… why they didn’t choose me. Maybe find the bit where everything started to go wrong." I am so captivated & intrigued please recount said memories to us- I mean Alice so we can learn more. Please. 👀

EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!? WHO IS "[ERROR]?"

WHY DO THEY SOUND DISTORTED AS FUCK?? ARE THEY FROM THE PRIME TIMELINE OR IS THIS A NEW THING?

ARE WE GAZING OUR EYES UPON A WRETCHED THING FROM THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?!

edit:

Is Lucia Wright an avatar of The Flesh now (in this universe or from the original timeline somehow)? Because it sure fucking sounds like it! 👀 Well, at least that key was put to good use! 😂

Also, supposedly Mr. Bonzo is a reference to Mr. Blobby.

Gwen, I'd be quaking in my boots too. That thing is terrifying!

Late observation but this universe & story seems to focus a lot on the cryptids & I like the direction it's going in! Loving this plot of cryptid hunters, childhood avatar experiments, a strange institute where our main character has past trauma, & just all of it is so good! 💜

Amazing episode, 10/10, I was at the edge of my seat the entire time! 💜 That Bonzo scene & the sound design were absolutely horrifying, thank you! The ending too! 🔥

#nigel dickerson if you need help from mr. bonzo or mr. six please blink twice omg #what if bonzo & six are actually the same creature or entity of sorts?#someone keep an eye on Colin; I'm worried about him #that carved floor in the big atrium is gonna come back into importance I just know it #so Lena uses mr. bonzo as a hitman crytpid of sorts... & now Gwen is exposed to the occult #this episode is a lot... holy crap #these episode do not miss; oh my gods; hit after hit; every time!#worm tracks made me think of jane prentiss; I just made the connection #did lucia wright become an avatar of the flesh & invade this world or is she a left over experiment of the magnus institute #I can only hope Gwen Bouchard will tell the others about wtf she saw (likely against Lena's wishes)#tmagp liveblog #mine #op #tmagp 10 #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tma spoilers #tma #the magnus protocol #the magnus archives

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sisterdivinium · 15 days

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It’s tempting to think of Jillian as an atheist given her connexion to science, her confrontation with the church in s1 and simply as a counterpoint to all the religious characters around her. I’ve used the word for her myself in fic before, but I did it fully knowing that Jillian is perhaps the character who most wants to believe.

There’s an implication that she speaks from experience when she tells Kristian one doesn’t ever really leave the church…

… And her firm principle of proving faith and science can coexist shows she has no intention of dismantling faith in itself or the value people find in spirituality.

When Luther supposedly nailed his objections to that fateful church door, he didn't intend to shake the core of what faith actually is—quite the contrary, one could argue.

Neither is Jillian trying to destabilise faith in itself... The difference is that she just decided to build her own door instead.

The church might stand in her way, yes, but one could could make a case about how it is more due to their keeping of divinium than to the criticism she directs at Vincent on the subject of Hell and the subjugation of women. She might well believe it—or any part of her performance during most of season one, really—but her conflict with the institution lies less in the way of ideology than in matters of practical consequences.

Were it not so, wouldn’t she have been a little more resistant to her son’s visions of an angel? Why believe in a child’s prophetic drawings otherwise? Even if she by any chance didn’t consider the giver of those visions an angel, the very fact of taking a vision seriously would suggest some degree of fidelity to the very idea of there being something more, something else than the life we know in this plane of existence.

If she doesn’t admit the existence of a god outright, she at least lends credence to the idea that there is something. We might not be able to take her fully at her word in the scenes where she’s playing her part as a seeker of knowledge maligned by the Vatican, but there is some amount of truth to what she says. She might not have truly found Heaven, she might not be able to prove her portal actually leads there...

… But she most certainly wants to be right. For Michael’s sake, there must be something else, even if not precisely what has been foreseen by scripture.

And, even so, she finds worth in that very scripture she doubts.

Perhaps she’s being honest when she tells Vincent she likes the stories—there’s a lot of knowledge to be found in even the simplest of them to she who knows how to seek it.

Perhaps there’s an underlying attachment of hers to the Bible, a past she cannot really abandon. It’s not all that common for people with absolutely no ties to Catholicism to have something like the image of a saint as decoration hanging in the background.

Sure, there are other religious elements scattered in her workplace including a Buddha, but it’s a man who used to be an archivist at the Vatican she hires, not a defected monk or rabbi.

Yes, she will work with anyone who is equally willing to work with her. It’s not from the goodness of her heart as there is a component of selfishness in such cooperation—one to which she admits herself—but her attitude is also a testament to the openness she has concerning the results she might obtain. Maybe the OCS is right, maybe there’s a God and saints and Heaven and Hell…

It doesn’t really matter as long as there is something, something to work towards, something to seek.

Or it didn’t matter—while Michael was alive.

She has had her proof of there being more... And she has paid a high price for learning of it.

It’s a pity we don’t know what she would have done with this information. How do we react when what we believe is confirmed to be true but not in the way we expected or desired?

Whatever shock the nuns have experienced to their faith in this business with Adriel, the perversion of the power of prayer and all else they've survived during season two, Jillian is likely to have felt the very same blow right alongside them.

#warrior nun #jillian salvius #exercises in observation #i don't recall what prompted this actually. the fic i'm writing i guess?#i never write anything directly on the computer and this was a little exception so sorry for that as it tends to weaken my texts #me cackling as i DO have saints decorating my house despite believing in fuck all. they're family heirlooms okay?#actually it's saints AND buddhas AND other little images of god knows what lol

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