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#I think prob Sun but still
sevi-fuk · 2 years
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samarecharm · 3 months
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I miss goro. Bring his bitchass back
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m00ngbin · 4 months
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I need my hair to dry so I can go to bed and not wake up with one half looking like i ran a flat iron over it 400 times on max heat and the other side being curly in ways that shouldn't be possible
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oh-gh0st · 7 months
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ok i actually need ot ramble ab that wip
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dragoncharming · 1 year
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jullanar, freshly divorced: Fitzroy! if you want to be equal partners, you must learn to do laundry. are you expecting your kip to look after you like he still works for you?
fitzroy, has been asking Laundry Questions since Masseo's village:
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~*~ Three Days Later~*~
kip, sitting at a fire he made, cooking an octopus he caught, wearing clothes he made while fitzroy was sleeping: i've never done laundry in my life.
fitzroy, just invented his own laundry spell:
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Narrator Voice: what jullanar didn't know was that there's always a Mdang (in this case aunt) for every occasion.
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swordmaid · 3 months
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shri’iia developing her sunlight sensitivity after the tadpole disappears since the protection it gave (assuming that it’s also protecting them from external factors bc astarion is able to walk under the sun) disappears with it. and struggled to get used to the sunlight because she’s now more sensitive towards it…! everything is brighter, much more sharper - similar to when she crash landed and saw the sun for the first time but this time everything is much more vivid. and now she’s squinting a lot more because everything is bright to the point that it hurts her eyes, and she’s frowning more as well (to which astarion tells her to stop or else she’ll get more wrinkles 🙄) and she’s covered up from head to toe every time she goes outside bc I imagine she gets sun burnt quite easily too.
anyway I think at one point she decides to only go out when the sun is setting so it’s less painful for her - which also works for the both of them since astarion can’t go out under the sun as well lol
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orcelito · 2 years
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Boba day. 6 hours 😭. I don't wanna be heeeeere
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7am. Can't sleep. Have to wake up at 9am. The sun is rising. Probably just won't sleep.
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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why can i not clean my room?
#the bin#i was planning on cleaning it today but my sister called out and is having a friend over so im not#but its in a state :/ well maybe tomorrow i guess#going to try to draw maybe ill make smth or maybe i wont#feeling weird in my lofe all the time sucks a lot but im trying to improve it#i think first step is to clean my room second step is to clean my kitchen third step is eat actual fucking food oh my god#been loving off goldfish for the past month. a lil snack cakes here n there n occasionally some mac n cheese but mostly just goldfish#and goldfish r good but like. also not good for me for sure#well now that im not dreading the mornings so much cause they arent 3 hours of miserably working in a very empty kinda dark store#and instead im in close proximity to my v friendly coworkers i think maybe ill try actually waking up real early n eating and washing my#face and stuff before i go to work like a normal person. maybe. maybe not. but im gonna try#i need to be able to wake up at 4am easily anyway bc i could be working at 5am so its prob better if i wake so early anyway#but i dont like to go to bed that early either. well. at least winter means the sun isnt up for too many hours which is nice#idk. this new job has made everything about my life so much less sad and crushing#even starting it and being there is much less bleh than my prwv job was when i started. i think cause i talk to my coworkers a lot#and its not a constant and continue thing of work that does not end the whole time. the work comes and goes with orders#its nice. much kess monotonous. and since my life outside work is all the same every day its awful if work is also that#maybe omce im working more hours ill feel bad again but i honestly think ill still feel ok. and im not aiming for 40 hours a week anymore#either. more like 36. so i think its good
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tanzoshi · 2 years
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        /  Pointing at the moon but in reality ur pointing at jiji-
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mickyschumacher · 11 months
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𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 .ೃ࿐
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: carlos sainz and you have an on and off relationship: full of an alluring pain. and no matter what, it seems you two always come back to one another. 𝐏𝐓. 𝟐 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minors DNI), infidelity, toxic relationship, reader has a vagina, unprotected sex (wrap it up like a gift!), reader slaps carlos, crying, ANGST, carlos bordering on being a sadist, cumming inside, fingering in the car, that being said - dangerous car driving, oral sex, incorrect model stuff probs, severely poorly utilised spanish, probs poorly written smut lol, probably missing plot holes but yeh
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: carlos sainz x model!fem!reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 4k+
𝐀/𝐍: this is poorly based off taylor swift' 'style'. i hadn't realised i turned such a nice song into something well um... not nice? proof-read but as always, don't hold it against me!
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
⋆  •°.  。  .°•  ⋆
Before you even started your cat-and-mouse game with Carlos, you were well aware that he was trouble the moment he walked into the room.
Scratch that.
Formula One drivers were nuisances. Ask any other model on the street and they would probably agree with you.
You knew that it was a relationship you probably shouldn't even be in. He was always going to be away in a new country every other week while you were doing photoshoots and walking runways. You would barely have time with each other. You don't think that you could even label such a relationship 'long distance'.
So when your management sent you down to the infamous Monaco Grand Prix as eye-candy, how were you to deny those brown eyes constantly lingering on you, following your body as he sported a smug smile? No one would be in their right mind to not fall for a guy like Carlos.
The heated gazes, the flirty comments, the burning brushes of touch... it was clear for the both of you that you had to be together.
But of course, despite knowing all of this, you couldn't help still feel a bit emotional about your relationship.
midnight
you come and pick me up, no headlights
long drive
could end in burning flames or paradise
fade into view, oh
it's been a while since i have even heard from you
Here you were. In Miami. The sun had fully set and the rare few stars you could find had taken up their night shift.
You were just leaving the office of your management after having a discussion on what photoshoots you were doing in the upcoming weeks and what events you were attending.
Chanel, Dior, Ralph Lauren, YSL, Louis Vuitton...
Brands on any other general day you would've love to talk about. But your mind was in a state of disarray after receiving a message from a certain Spaniard.
hot spanish polla (prick)
pick you up in 15, princesa (princess)
behind your office.
Even now, looking at the message again, you let out a scoff. You scrolled up, finding the last message you had sent to him. In January.
It was currently May.
Your fingers clenched around your phone as you let out a shaky sigh. Despite all the rage you felt, of course you were here, in the secluded area of your company.
You looked down at your clothes. A model life meant wearing 'fashionable' clothes. You, your manager, and your stylist often pre-agreed on the outfits you wore just for the sake of your image. Today, your stylist had dressed you in a black mini skirt and maroon sweater. You neck and ears all adorned in thin gold jewellery while you feet were hugged by a classic pair of white sneakers.
You pursed your lips. At least you looked good.
But of course this was just like Carlos. Speaking, calling, texting... all when he wanted. You knew he was in Miami. You weren't an idiot. You had all of this season's races organised into your calendar.
You were just in disbelief that Carlos had the audacity to even text you after not hearing even a word from him in almost five months.
Your ears perked up to a low rumble of a car entering the area. The headlights were off but you could still spot it's familiar features. You eyed the iconic Prancing Horse and rolled your eyes. The love and hate you had for Ferrari was unexplainable.
The car stopped in front of you and the door of the driver's seat opened. Carlos came out as if he were in slow motion.
You sucked your tongue to your lips upon eyeing his appearance. He was in a black coat, a simple white shirt that stuck to his sculpted body paired with black trousers that brought out his stupidly defined thighs. Those thighs... god, how much time had you spent on them?
and i should tell you to leave 'cause i
know exactly where it leads, but i
watch us go 'round and 'round each time
Carlos waved a hand through his hair and smiled at you. You could feel his eyes waver over you, making you suppress the innate shudder his gaze would usually send you. You couldn't let him think that everything was okay.
He opened the door to the passenger side and gestured for you to come in with an extended hand.
You folded your arms and stared at him. Were you really going to do this? Yes. Was this what you deserved after so long? A man who felt dizzy for you but wouldn't speak to you for four months? Yes and no.... yes.
Carlos narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to look at you. He knew exactly what you were thinking. "Get in the car, Y/N. Before I make you."
There was nothing threatening about his tone. In fact, even if it was, it would be an empty threat. Because at the end of the day, the both of you knew you were going to.
You internally sighed, before walking up to the open door. You turned your head to him and gave an amused huff. "As if you would, Sainz."
Carlos flashed his classic grin, the very one that had gotten you into this mess in the first place, and watched you enter his car.
By the time you had but on your seatbelt and rested your arm on the door, Carlos had finally sat next you.
"You look good, cariño (darling)," Carlos murmured, bringing your hand up to his mouth to leave a small kiss.
You clenched your jaw at the fiery tingle that sprawled across your hand. You snatched your hand away. "I know. I look good all the time," You mentioned curtly.
Were you being a bitch? A bit catty? Simply put, yes. But you thought a man who usually got what he wanted deserved some sort of catty behaviour.
"Four months, Carlos, four goddamn months... of nothing," You sighed out.
A remorseful expression fell over Carlos' face. "I know. I'm so sorry, cariño. I don't have any excuses."
You huffed once again with an irked smile, folding your arms while you looked out your window. You could think of one. But maybe it wasn't time to bring it up right now. You were tired of this game already. You would rather a false peace than the raw reality.
Your eyes peered over to him. "Long drive home?" You asked.
Carlos smiled softly at you. "As per usual."
You nodded slowly and Carlos turned the key of the car. The engine came alive and seemingly so did he as his hand naturally fell to your thigh while he reversed out.
you got that james dean daydream look in your eye
and i got that red lip classic thing that you like
and when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style
you got that long hair slicked back, white t-shirt
and i got that food girl faith and a tight little skirt
and when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style
Carlos could feel your eyes on him as he drove down the empty, long roads of Miami, dotted with the sparsely spaced palm trees swaying in the warm summer breeze.
Your eyes trailed over every inch of him. His hair. His eyes. His lips. His neck. His body. Every crevice. As if you were trying to print an image in your mind.
You always looked at him like that. Carlos remembered asking you about it. "What are you looking at?" He would ask.
"Just you," You would retort, "I just can't believe someone like you exists."
Carlos would chuckle and question what you meant by that. You simply said he reminded you of James Dean. Even now. His hair was slightly grown and slicked back with the heat of Miami. His entire aura was smug and intoxicating. The entire world could see Carlos Sainz as the Spanish romantic driver, but you knew that behind that warming exterior, was something dirty... troublesome in the best way, in fact.
You, god, you were the complete opposite. Y/N L/N. The good girl model. Pure. Untainted. The type of model you would see in spreads of brands right after they had a controversy because your angel aura would put anyone back in the good books. No matter how revealing your clothes were or how much skin you had on display, you were somehow still the epitome of unadulterated goodness.
There was a saying that people often associated with good girls like you. Every good girl wants a bad boy to be good just for her.
You wished that wasn't true. How desperately had you avoided all those flashy teenage popstars and actors. But here you were inevitably falling for an intoxicating Carlos Sainz. Time and time again.
so it goes
he can't keep his wild eyes on the road
You let out a shaky sigh as Carlos' hand travelled closer and closer up your inner thigh. "Carlos," You warned, eyes widening slightly as those brown eyes were planted firmly on you, taking in every little movement of yours, instead of looking at the road.
"Yes, my ñina bonita (beautiful girl)," He answered almost questioningly in a teasing tone.
"Keep your eyes on the road," You weakly mumbled.
You both watched his fingers linger up your skirt. His fingers danced across your burning skin and paused at the thin material covering your core. You sucked in a sharp breath once those fingers met your panties.
Carlos grinned at your shaking eyes and the warm dampness on his fingers. "You make it hard to look away," He confessed earnestly.
You could feel his fingers rub your pussy ever so slowly, only just grazing over that sensitive nub of yours.
"Jesus fucking christ, Carlos," You hissed out, hips bucking at his touch.
Carlos could feel his pants become incredibly tight all of a sudden. The control he had over you was so enthralling that he wanted to simply stop in the middle of the highway, grab you by yours hips and fuck the living life out of you.
What a sight that would be. You straddling his lap, soaking his trousers as your ass rested against the Ferrari symbol embedded into the steering wheel. He would make sure that the brand he represented would be covered in your cum after he was done with you.
Carlos sucked in a sharp breath. "Jesus fucking christ, indeed, cariño," He managed to get out, blinking hard at the road in front of him.
He watched out of his peripheral vision as your head fell back against while his thick fingers pushed past your panties and slid against your drenched folds.
His fingers ventured and craved a journey, feeling each crevice of your pussy. Carlos thrusted his fingers into your warm walls, briefly watching you envelope him entirely.
"Fuck, Carlos," You moaned out, hand instinctively reaching out to covers his. You couldn't tell if you wanted him to stop in this horny haze or push him in even further.
It must have been the latter as you could feel his fingers delve further into you. Carlos let out a strangled moan, foot pressing further on the accelerator. He needed to get you home as fast he could.
takes me home
the lights are off, he's taking off his coat
i say "i heard, oh, that you've been out and about with some other girl"
he says, "what you heard is true
but i can't stop thinking 'bout you and i"
i said, "i've been there too a few times."
By the time you had reached home and got to your bedroom, the entire of your house remained living in the darkness you had found it in.
Carlos and you didn't need lights. If there was anything he was purely confident about, other than his driving of course, it was your body. He knew it like he knew those race tracks. Every curve. The distance from your breasts to your pussy. How long it would take you to cum. He knew it all.
Carlos shrugged off his coat somewhere onto your floor, needing a release from the heat surging through his body. Your shoes and socks he had pulled off in a haste as well.
His lips had found yours as his hands roamed your back, pulling him closer to you. His fingers snuck past the hem of your shirt, brushing your bare skin while reaching up your torso to find a neat surprise.
"No bra," Carlos' hoarse voiced queried with the sound of a smirk playing at his lips. At least thats what you could assume in the dark.
Carlos inched you towards your bed as if it was a second nature to him.
The soft silk sheets he had bought you last year consumed the both of you as his fingers brushed past your nipple.
You released yourself from this kiss at the action, gasping for the air that Carlos had taken from you.
"I heard you were with some other girl. Is this what you did with her?" You finally asked, feeling a small smirk grow onto your face despite the annoyance running through your body.
You could feel Carlos stop moving, probably boring those beautiful brown eyes of his into you.
He knew what you were talking about. February. Pre-testing season. The drivers, some staff and their partners had gotten together to celebrate the upcoming season.
Lando, like the photo lover he was, had decided to document the night with his camera and post it to his Instagram dedicated to photos, lando.jpg.
You had clicked on it a few hours later, deciding to see how much fun they were having while you were doing a photoshoot with Kim Jones. Pictures of Charles dancing terribly with Max had made you laugh. Carmen looking concerned for George's wellbeing as he took shots had made you laugh even harder. There was also a photo of Alex and Lily being the cute paddock couple they were while Carlos was drunkly looking into the camera
But then your fingers stopped on particular photo of Carlos.
He looked good, you could not deny him that. Flushed skin, hazed eyes, the perfect smile... all while dressed as the Madrid's richest.
But lo and behold, that wasn't the only thing getting your attention. Instead, it was the girl in his arms. The same girl who in the next few photos had her lips on him and his hands on her ass. You could even spot a fresh hickey that wasn't on her neck in the previous photo.
God, the comments and tweets were coming in at lightning speed.
user55: who's the girl? i thought carlos was with y/n?
user04: maybe they broke up?
user16: wasn't just with her for new years? jfc, that man needs to get a grip
mickyschumacher: y/n deserves better than this
user44: i wonder if she knows?
Quite soon after, Lando had taken down the post, apologising to you profusely. You reassured him it was okay, even though deep down you were exhausted of this.
Not only had Carlos been going around with another girl, but he didn't even have the decency to say sorry. He would rather say nothing.
Carlos didn't know what was worse. His growing guilt or the fact that your reaction was making him harder.
His fingers skimmed across your swollen lips. "Obviously what you saw was true. But the thing is... I can't stop thinking about you and I, princesa. You consume me for every second of the day. Even if I don't show it. Fuck, I have a ritual before every race, you know? To cum to your name... to your body."
Was is it a poor excuse? Yes. It didn't even explain why he had done it in the first place. But the most damning thing was, you didn't care. Or you could care less to begin with.
Instead you were turned on. The pool in your panties had gotten even bigger as you released a light moan at his words. Your hands travelled to his waist, peeling off his white shirt while he raised his arms. The combination of your body heat was so high that it could almost be considered unsafe for the average human.
"You're a lucky man, Sainz. I can't stop thinking about you too."
Carlos could only let out a moan at your words, removing your sweater before bringing his lips to your nipples, dividing his attention to them equally. His hands were busy unbuckling his belt and taking off his trousers.
Your hand reached into his long hair, gripping the locks tightly as he moaned against your breasts. You could hear the clink and thud of his belt and pants hitting the floor as he pushed up your skirt, unbothered to take it off.
In face, these mini skirts were going to be the death of Carlos. He loved them on you. It wasn't just the easy access to the heaven down there. But if he had to explain it, it was the way they rested on your thighs. Laying there simply, not doing anything but creating a monster in him.
Carlos pushed your panties to the side, plunging his fingers into you without any warning. He could feel you arch your back and push your head into the bed while you writhed under his touch.
"Fucking hell," You swore, clenching your thighs around his hands.
Carlos chuckled. "Such a dirty mouth, princesa," He stated before speeding up his pace.
Your loud moans echoed within your empty house. Your hips bucked into his hand, fucking yourself faster on him to chase the release he had built up in the pit of your stomach.
"You wanna cum, Y/N? Hmm? Tell me?"
The sweat was building up on your skin as Carlos had added his thumb over your clit. He rubbed his thumb briefly in slow circles but he had given up on the teasing. He wanted you to squirm in his hands because that's how much pleasure you were receiving. He flicked the nub in fast motions, dropping his warm spit into your hot folds.
"Holy–Carlos!"
Carlos smirked at the ironic combination of words following out of your mouth. Yes, he was holy. But if he was that divine, you were no angel. You were a sin. A goddess. A she-devil.
"I would love to watch you cum, princesa. I really would. But my cock is begging for you, hmm? I think your pussy deserves some attention that isn't my fingers, no?"
Carlos had stopped moving his hand and removed his fingers from you. He could feel you shake in his hold. From anger or pleasure, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that he had left you begging for more.
Although it must've been anger.
Because almost immediately, he had heard it before he felt it. The sharp whack of the air. The burn on his cheek almost sizzling.
You could feel his hot gaze pierce through you as your chest heaved up and down in frustration. "You're a little shit, Carlos," You groaned. "Sorry, no. What was it in Spanish? Polla? Yes, fucking polla."
The room had turned eerie in seconds. Carlos' silence had started to worry you. You could still feel his gaze and hear his laboured breathing but he was saying nothing.
Suddenly you felt his hands wrap around your waist and move to his lap. You let out a gasp at the bare cock you had been placed upon and the sloppy lips resting near your ear.
"I think I need to fuck the nice back into you, princesa, no? Maybe if you become my little divine goddess, I'll let you cum, hmm? What do you think?" Carlos' whisper was hot and heavy in your ear. "Use your words, mi amor (my love)".
Goddamn it. He had broken out the 'mi amor'. The only thing that had you hanging by a thread. The sliver of hope that whatever you and Carlos had going on was more than this. That you truly loved one another.
"Yes, Carlos," You said, bringing a gentle peck to his lips.
You could feel him smile against your lips. "There's my good girl.''
Carlos pushed your panties aside, assured that you were stretched out and wet enough by his fingers. He grabbed his cock and was overcome with a shudder when rubbing the tip of his cock through your folds.
"Spit, cariño," His voice commanded.
You gathered all the saliva that had easily accumulated after salivating for this man and let the warm fluid fall from your lips.
Carlos couldn't see but he could just imagine if the lights were on. The bubbled liquid falling from those pretty lips of yours, turning into thin strings as they had perfectly landed on the slit of his cock.
He didn't even have to say anything as your nimble fingers rubbed your saliva over his shaft. You could hear his heavy breaths in the air and a small sigh of pleasure came from his lips. "Baby, let's get me in you, hmm?"
You let out a small whimper at his words before releasing a strangled moan as you pushed his cock into your pussy. You could feel each swollen and puffed out fold take him in and your warm walls wrapping around him tightly.
Carlos shut his eyes tightly. "Mierda (shit). You feel so good, princesa," He groaned, lifting his hips up.
You moaned in agreement, throwing your hands around his neck as he thrusted in and out of you.
The concept that cock could made a person dumb often sounded strange. But with Carlos, it was true. You couldn't do anything or say anything but moan in pleasure.
"Lamp. I need to see your face, princesa," Carlos muttered out in awkward pauses, rutting his hips against you in an angle that almost made it impossible for you stretch your arm out and turn on the lamp.
A yellow illuminated the room and finally, you could see each other.
You had made eye contact with Carlos. His eyes bore into you while his mouth was agape as if he was constantly ready to moan. His normally slicked hair was now tousled courtesy of your fingers.
Jesus, was he a sight to behold.
But Carlos didn't think any less of you. God, how were you even real? Your skin was flushed, hair sticking out in every direction, sweat and traces of your wetness across your body and your eyes: dazed with lust and bordering on the edge of being fucked out.
But most especially, those goddamn lips of yours. They were painted with red when Carlos had first picked you up. The red had faded, only trace amounts left mixed with the red flush of the swelling he had brought by kissing you. What a vision you were.
Your eyes flickered to the specifically red cheek that faced you. God, this man knew how to make you feel for anything. His hips jerked into you, pushing his cock deeper as every second passed. The spell he had on you was serious; dangerous.
You could feel a glaze of water fall over your eyes as your fingers brushed his reddened cheek. His skin was still warm from your slap. Carlos shivered at your touch, eyes fluttering shut.
"I'm sorry, Carlos," You murmured out so quietly that if he wasn't listening so intently, he would've missed it. "I didn't mean to."
Carlos could feel his heart pace as you softly kissed the burning skin of his. It was as if you were kissing his pain away. A warm tear from your eyes had fallen onto his cheek, making his heart melt.
Carlos could feel himself tighten at the action, even more so when you clenched your walls tightly around him.
"You think you deserve to cum, mi princesa?" Carlos queried, wrapping his hand around your jaw and making you turn to face him. His eyes shook at your teary eyed gaze. The mascara and eyeliner you wore had broken down. If he hadn't felt so soft for you, he would've teased you and said you looked like a racoon.
Carlos could feel you start to shake as you buried your nails into his skin. To his surprise, you shook your head no. You begun to slow your pace and clench around him, only trying to get him off.
"Oh mi amor, mi ñina bonita, you deserve to cum. You deserve a lot more than you know," Carlos whispered, tucking your hair behind your ear. He planted a soft kiss to your forehead before bringing his thumb to your clit, rubbing hard and increasing the speed of his cock thrusting in and out of you.
You couldn't help but let out a sob mixed with both pleasure and sadness. A wave of euphoria convulsed within your body as Carlos staggered to a halt in you. His cock twitched and throbbed, spilling his hot cum into your walls.
You bought Carlos into a tight hug, pushing yourself further onto his cock, making him groan again and release a few more ropes of his cum into you.
Carlos brought his lips to your shoulders and left a small trail of kisses as the two of you calmed down.
The double meaning to his words had thrown you off.
You could tell what he meant.
This why he had reached out in the first place.
His guilty glances. The poor excuses.
This was the last time.
Whatever this was between you... it had to end.
You both needed to move on.
But especially you.
It was a gutting feeling to know. But Carlos was right. This sadness, this anger, this toxicity could go on no longer. Despite being heartsick, you were happy though.
Because even if this ended, you had gone out in style.
𝐏𝐓. 𝟐 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
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Ref sheet for my character Angie
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venting-town · 2 years
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I feel like we exist just because
Like some being ( or maybe ourselves, but they’re not ACTUALLY us but still somehow are because * yeah * ) just got too bored with sitting there doing nothing, so said being decided to create MORE beings to not feel as bored
But THAT still wasn’t enough, so now there is feeling good, bad, neutral, etc. thrown into the mix too. To somehow make things make sense and give us “ purpose “ to do/try different things
And after the near-death experience I had I remember a being ( or more? ) telling me that there needs to be “ balance “ and that if you don’t add boredom into the mix nothing will change
But won’t it though?
Why can’t it change by itself?? Just because???
That’s like saying you can exist without something creating you; who created the creator of you? And the creator of the creator of you? And on and on and on
I guess the answer would always end up with “ the creator “… but I guess it kind of makes sense ( but also not really ) that bad will keep creating bad over and over, good will keep creating good over and over, neutral will keep creating neutral over and over, etc.
For what? Just because to create?
And we just ARE ( as in “ we DO exist “ )
For what? Because? Just to exist, with or without purpose ( or anything else? )
We ARE for..??? Just cause we are? Are we really though? Or is it some being that created us to feel this way because they feel the same way ( or maybe they’re just simply bored ), so we’re thrown into the universe to do things to “ experience “ it the same
For what? Do you, being and/or beings, not even know why you’re here aside from “ just because “?
And that’s why a lot ( but not all ) of people don’t like plain, simple stuff? Because it’s not interesting enough?
So that’s why we’re thrown into different worlds and act as characters in a movie trying/doing/experiencing different things so you can watch and be entertained by it???
Why can’t you just simply make yourselves not exist??? Or is it simply not an option somehow?
And if it IS somehow an option, the another being will be upset that you’re gone and try to replace you? So the cycle will keep going???
And for what?
We keep going like an infinity sign for what? Because we don’t want to end? Because we can’t for… SOMETHING???
#tw vent#vent#vent 6/29/22#this is so fucked up. we’re here because we and/or other beings are bored and we’re going insane because of it#so we’re sacrificing ourselves/sacrificing others/being sacrificed all for the sake of not being bored/crazy?#and we exist ( MAINLY/SOLELY ) because of boredom/insanity???#wtf kind of shit is this?!? just ‘ IS ‘??? because ‘ THINGS ‘!?!? ( or lack thereof or whatever??? )#so we’re sent on missions/take on missions/be forced to go on missions/etc. because SOMEBODY has to be a Guinea pig to try new things!!!#but as the Bible said ( even though I don’t believe in that bullshit. BUT I do agree with certain takes on things in there such as: )#‘ there’s nothing new under the sun ‘? ( or at least I think the Bible said that. I may be quoting something else )#so we’re just in this fucking loop… * BECAUSE *?!?!#it is what it is and what it is is FUCKED UP and STUPID#IK it sounds like I’m on drugs while I’m typing this but#would you believe me if I told you that I think like this everyday?#for several SEVERAL years now. and maybe when this first started bothering me ( prob when I was around 4 or 5.#what a great age to start having existential crisis’s! )#I didn’t ACTUALLY think this way every single day. but now I do. I’ve been doing it for FUCKING YEARS!!!!#and we STILL aren’t satisfied because we have to keep doing/getting more and more ( but some of us are content with what they have and thats#okay! ) so we KEEP DOING THE SAME ( BUT slightly different! ) BULLSHIT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER#because * IS * and * BECAUSE * and * THINGS *!!!!#we have nothing better to do than NOTHING so we keep fucking ourselves/each other up and others keep fucking themselves/us up#SO WE WONT BE BORED AND/OR GO FUCKING INSANE#because ‘ EXISTENCE ‘ and ‘ OBSERVING ‘ and ‘ PARTICIPATING ‘ and whatever the FUCK ELSE!!!#this is so stupid. and fucked up. and repetitive ( but sometimes it’s slightly altered somehow so it isn’t the EXACT SAME repetitive shit!#) this/everyone/everything needs to STOP.#but we can’t * BECAUSE * or.. ‘ something ‘ ( or ‘ nothing ‘ or whatever )#I’m so glad there’s beings out there that don’t even have to experience these thoughts. to the ones of us that do: I’m so sorry#this is all SHIT.#tw existential bullshit#tw existential crisis
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mudlark-s · 2 years
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feeling mildly pleased w how productive today has been, a shame that i went to put the laundry on this morning before i did the food shop and managed to do everything but hit the start button so that's ~3 hrs behind schedule but oh well!
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julsvu · 23 days
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leo valdez bf headcanons :)
📒: toothrotting fluff, some swearing
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idk but he definitely asked you out in bunker 9. or while you both were riding festus !! like i could see leo planning it all out, making a flower bouquet out of metal and shi, and then he'll invite you to ride festus with him while watching the sunset AHHH
is the most touchy mf ever. this guy cuddles with you 24/7 whenever he isn't at the bunker.
loves loves LOVES taking selfies of you and him together. you both have a lot of polaroid pictures together.
def lets you use him as a heater, or a warm blanket- especially in the winter season.
he ADORES spooning. he prefers being the little spoon :)
i kind of can't see him as someone that does a lot of PDA?? but the way he acts around you shows that he's really attracted to you, to the point PDA isn't needed for someone to know that you guys are together
plays with your hands c: and he'll let you play with his, too.
ure the one that could actually stop him from overworking himself most of the time 😭😭🙏🙏 i see leo as the most whipped boyfriend everr
u guys usually have simple little dates every week, like going to a convenience store together, eating in an animal café, and so on.
he still competes w u 😭 bro he's the type of guy to say, "last one is a rotten egg!" whenever you guys are walking up a hill - he lets you win most of the time because he likes seeing the smile on your face
HE'S SOOO SO SUPPORTIVE OF YOU
like if ure trying on a new look he'd be like :OOOO that's my partner right there!!
he's also supportive of your hobbies!! if you're artistic, he lets you make designs of his inventions :)
whenever you visit bunker 9, he comes up to you and gives you a lil hug or a cheek kiss (he smells like oil every time 😭🙏)
u guys def faked a proposal for free cake from a restaurant once, he had the idea- and he was SO SO INTO IT. got on BOTH of his knees, the declaration of his love for u was def longer than the declaration of independence 😭😭 AND THEN HE PULLED OUT HIS FAKE TEARS WHEN YOU SAID YES
is the type to create a little trinket for you c: he gave you a pendant once, and it had the most intricate ahh details, and to think he just did that naturally?? no sketching for the first draft or anything???
++ he sends you cheesy pick up lines whenever he gets the chance, prob gets it off pinterest or twitter 😭
in conclusion, he's the most whipped guy ever, and dating him is like dating a human embodiment of the sun
one time he farted during an argument and he said "that's what i think of you" bcs he had no other comeback
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© 2024 JULSVU. all rights reserved. please don't plagiarize, translate, put on other websites or copy my work without permission. ty!
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Mars Aspects, how you like to WIN
if you win,i dont win so i gotta turn my loss into yours, becsuse we can't all be winners. i didnt change my mind, just chose a better outcome, whats your choice?
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Mars aspecting sun - winning at all costs, they appear like a winner, but the means and ways they go about it are so in your face, you become impressed but simultaneoulsy concerned. but thats what gets them off. they turn the expression show dont tell, into show and tell everybody. which gives them more enemies, but also makes em more fierce. also flambouyant just to throw their enemies off lol. mars aspecting moon - they like to win behind closed doors. they want you to belive in them, simply becsuse they believe in you. its what gets them emotionally secure i guess. the security of winning. but its just confusing becsuse for example we watching tv on da couch, and your trynna pull a funny. sit down we still love you we just tired. but if you put them in there place expect a tantrum. mars aspecting mercury - basically death note. intellectual competitors/debators always playing the chess game of anything; "whats the best move here" also super entertainign speakers, can talk super fast and aggressively. also very into learning, they want to dominate the intellectual sphere. they wanna argue with everyone but no one wanna bite back lol. also > can't catch deez hands
mars aspecting venus - agrresively charming. there charisma just exudes from there aura naturally, people just laugh at these guys so easily, because they just are likeable with it. also people love it when they are angry, they just fall for em harder. but they dont like to get angry becsuse theyd rather just be charming mars aspecting jupiter - so much movement, they move like the "wacky waving inflatable arm tube man" - family guy. but seriously the way they move peopple just cant believe they move like dat, they move so strangely but hypnotically. also so much energy these guys can do a million sets in da gym and eat the whole fridge. they just got way too much energy and it shows... they also just get really lucky w competition, victory just lands in their lap lol. mars aspecting saturn - these guys are always striving to be da best at whatevrr there mind is set on. if they gotta goal, then whatsver is obstructing there path better move or they gonna trample all over it/ya. kinda intimidating. but this usually sets them back, but in the end only makes them stronger/ more fierce. because to them the fear people have of them is also getting in there way lmao. unless it works to there favour... basically control freaks and they only care about their agenda, but will pretend to have your interests in mind, just to get there ends. mars aspecting uranus - these guys are the true psychopathic freaks, everyone i know with this aspect is sadistic and also enjoys getting hit. people stay away from them, because they know they just wanna hit them lol. even when they acting nice, after like a week they show their crazy psychotic side, and everyones like yeahhhhh idk about you. but they dont mean harm they just view violence as intriguing i guess.... they like to win by fighting everyone and anyone lmao, but its play fighting, unless you try them... they really are the psychopaths; extremely calculated and precise with there attacks. they think they doing you a favour by attacking you lol. mars aspecting neptune - idk why but they always getting sexualized, probs because they are an easy target, and there submissiveness gets people going like "i can hurt them and they will literally just apoliogize :D" i feel bad for these lot, but there forgiveness really does shine through, i guess they dominate through submission... go figure. they like to win you over with their pure hearts <3 mars aspecting pluto - they literally do nothing and everyone is intimidated lmao. you can just tell these guys will not just kill you but torture you and enjoy it lol. thats why they always acting like they are not a threat, because they are begging for someone to challenge them, but they are so bad at acting innocent, everyone can tell they are a wolf in sheeps clothing. its all or nothing with them. but they choose their prey very carefully... they like to win at all costs no matta the price.
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