#I turn on some music

[amaradangeli]

Chenford + why are you with Chris?

I do not have the energy to match the tone or intent of my WIP tonight, I overate and I'm bordering on miserable, and I forgot to take a med that requires me to be up for 2 hours after taking it so I've decided to do *this* with my time. Um... enjoy? 😂

She's staring at him from across the table and with clarity she can hear Jackson's voice inside her head. "Why are you with Chris?"

She can't answer the ghost of her best friend anymore than she can answer herself - goodness knows she's been asking herself that very question for weeks.

She'd have liked him a lot two years ago, and she doesn't fully understand why she doesn't like him a lot right now. She doesn't like how he'll often act without thinking. She doesn't like how he tries to point her in directions that don't take into account where she's coming from or where she'd like to go.

But she likes not being alone.

She liked his face. He has a nice face. A baby face. He looks joyous and youthful, line free and worry free and pretty much free of depth in general.

She liked his enthusiasm. He loves everything. Even things he shouldn't. Even things he doesn't.

She liked that he liked her. He likes her so much. He likes the parts of her he's bothered to know and understand.

But, sitting across the table from him, she actually kind of hates him. He's got terrible taste in wine. He can't pick a restaurant worth eating at. He talks at her, not to her. He's patronizing and condescending and so damned nice while he does it. He's the kind of guy who says he's a nice guy.

And really, there's probably nothing at all wrong with him. Except that he's wrong for her.

He still thinks she should be a lawyer. Or maybe something else - he's floated a couple of ideas now. None of them are cop though, and so it doesn't seem to matter what she thinks, or what she's accomplished, or what she wants her future to look like.

He's never met her parents but he loves them already. And his parents have never met her, but she'll be their favorite person.

And really, it all just seems so fake.

She doesn't even like this restaurant. She's dressed to the nines, heels so high her ankles hurt while she's sitting. She's coming of four straight days and she's got more makeup on right now than the last four days combined. Her hair is so perfectly arranged she's afraid to move. She's exhausted, but he'd made the reservations three weeks ago and had put that put-out edge in his voice when she'd even suggested they stay in and order something that came in cardboard boxes.

On their way to the restaurant, while she sat crammed into his uncomfortable compact budget sports car, she'd gotten a text from Angela - a photo of her and Wesley and Jack and Tim all crowded around their dining room table, a plethora of Chinese food boxes littered across the surface with a simple You coming, or what? pinging right behind the pic.

She'd snapped a pic of the fabric of her dress, and the sky-high heels in the light of a traffic signal and replied Date night. She'd gotten a thumbs-down emoji in return. Even her friends didn't know why she was still dating Chris.

The waiter brings a limp-looking salad with three pieces of apple, a handful of walnuts, and some cloudy, viscous dressing artfully drizzled across the frisee. Underneath a leaf she finds a chunk of blue cheese dressing. Which she hates.

She'd have never ordered this salad. But the menu is prix fixe. She'd have never chosen this restaurant. But it's a place to see and be seen and Chris wants to be seen.

She takes a sip of the wine. It's corked and he hasn't even noticed.

He's been talking about his current case for the last ten minutes without even stopping to let her get a word in edgewise. Which is fine. She hasn't had anything to add.

Her phone buzzes in the clutch purse she's jammed under her thigh. She smiles at him in a way she hopes is disarming. She demurs a little, knowing he finds that appealing, and mentions something about awaiting word from the watch commander (she's not). She checks her phone to find another photo from Angela - it's Jack conked out in Tim's arms.

She doesn't even know what she's doing here anymore. Not when there's someplace she'd much rather be. She slips the phone back into her bag and pushes away her plate of sad salad.

"Chris, I think we need to talk."

What I listened to while I wrote this:

#chenford #if you squint #it's implied #comment fic #this isn't Chris-bashing #or at least it wasn't meant that way #but he's wrong for Lucy and I'll die on this hill #I didn't even know where I was going when I started this #and just so we all know what's happening here #I never ever do #when I write something like this #consider it free association #I turn on some music #I type a few words #and in the end we all get to find out where we ended up #(that's also why there are mistakes - I don't so much with the editing) #anyway #I wrote you something kinda funny last time #this is why you should never ever trust me #love y'all

[cyborgrhodey]

regina spektor is a violent zionist, but i don't think it's constructive or honest at all for people to be like "well her art was always bad anyway." some terrible people have made great art. This idea that artists with unsavory morals can't make good art (1) only feeds into some people's mindset that if they dislike something, that MUST mean there is something ideologically wrong with it, and (2) some people then take longer to realize the true colors of their favorite artists because... good artists can't be ethically bad right?? and so they hang on to their faves and pretend they are so righteous and defend their every move when sometimes. sometimes you just gotta accept that your favorite art was made by somebody you don't agree with, and you have to identify how much you are willing to support someone like that and what lines you have that can't be crossed

#personally i've stopped streaming regina spektor because i don't want her to financially gain from my support #and i also can't get myself to listen anymore to her music that i've already previously purchased just bc i've been so turned off by her #like as a person #but she's had some bangers and i mourn for them #on a smaller scale like. doja cat for example. love her art. not sure about her as a person #but it hasnt crossed the line for me personally and so i continue to listen to her music #somebody shut me up

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.

#or just the moral dilemmas #rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane #that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him #look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy #and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that* #I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him #(slowly) #but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts #vampires #interview with the vampire #amc interview with the vampire #i ramble sometimes #I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him #but I’m enjoying this #I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch #the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end

[disappointingcabbage]

Fellas, is it gay to live inside another man forever with Satan himself by my side?

#shitpost #jekyll and hyde #dr jekyll and mr hyde #henry jekyll #jekyll and hyde the musical #edward hyde #confrontation #fellas is it gay #guess what musical I’m rehearsing for this time folks #I play some fuckass board of governors asshole #who Hyde stabs in the first scene of act 2 #every ensemble number in this show is an absolute banger #also it is very gender of me to say my lines as a male character and then immediately turn around and sing a high D6 bc soprano 1 vibes #theatre major #musical theatre

[cowardlykrow]

Despite herself, the Emma is wooed

#an anon wanted Paul and or Emma so here’s both! #just don’t look at the arms don’t do it stop it oh my god #alt captions: Getcha cup of autistic rizz #//Art request #this was the kinda piece where I knew it was going wrong but I was too stubborn to pause and fix it ✨ #Paulkins #that’s the ship name right? #Paul matthews #Emma Perkins #Oh PS. all artist and non artist: Make sure to go to your visibility settings and turn on Prevent third party sharing! #will it help? who knows but at least you’ll have some proof you did not agree to the AI bs #starkid #hatchetfield #tgwdlm #Jon has such…. such a face! I don’t think I can ever do it properly #the guy who didn’t like musicals #@staff 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

[shamrockst4r]

i think if i read the novel before watching monster high i would definitely be a frankie stein stan but oh well anyway some creature fanart for your mind and soul

#frankenstein #frankensteins monster #creature #fanart #angsty but also some fluff #those are some old pieces tho #but i still love how they turned out #also if you watched frankenstein musical we need to be friends cuz it's literally my favourite portrayal of novel characters via voices #mary shelly's frankenstein #mary shelley is turning in her grave im so sorry

[fatedroses]

-An old-timer like me.

#sampo koski #emanator of elation #hsr spoilers #? technically #digital art #hsr #honkai star rail #its old bastard propaganda-o-clock #firstly- I based this off the meteor thief set and his own color palette #secondly- just how old is this man cause he's got me thinking that he might just be -old old- #THIRDLY- #Why does he share design concepts with gallagher (the chain link on gallaghers leg and on sampo's shoulder most notably) #I think it implies that Sampo probably isnt from modern Jarilo- I do like the concept however of him being aha's oldest fool #and a part of me even wants to bet he mightve been a galaxy ranger or some other traveling faction #being brought out of his funny business retirement to beat up what I'm betting is either a lord ravager or the annihilation gang #because fun fact- if you turn the music off to hear vocals better #you can hear Aha laughing in the background of Phantylia's fight in 2nd phase #destruction and elation do not seem to actually get along that well

[princessdarth-vader]

i can't stop thinkng about kristen this episode. her kindness. her honesty. she sees a grieving man; a man she hates, a man who has wronged her and hurt her, a man who she would be well within her right to vow to destroy, to laugh at his pain. and she says "it's too sad not to tell him". she tells him the truth about what she knows. a hard truth, but a necessary truth. he doesn't believe her, but she tells him anyway, because she cares. because this is a world barely a step from hers.

she talks to her brother, and she doesn't try to make a grand gesture. she doesn't try to heroically convince him to turn away. she empathises, she's been there. she tells him she understands. and she meets his doubt with courage, with a hand to hold, with a lantern to light up the overwhelming darkness. she offers him the hand he needs when he's too afraid to ask for it.

she talk to jawbone. she sees how hard a time he's having, and she reaches out. she helps, and she tells him that her plan was to take advantage of him, but she couldn't go through with it. she's honest and kind and giving at every fucking turn, and she tries again and again and again.

it's in the way she would still reach out and try to reconnect with her parents, who let her down and betrayed her trust and innocence. The way she insisted that buddy be revived, and was hopeless when she could do nothing to help. for all her chaos and bits, kristen is one of the most heartfelt and genuine characters in dimension 20 and i fully fully believe that.

#fhjy spoilers #fhjy #kristen applebees #i keep thinking about ill pray #its the first song i wrote breaking my sorta year long dead patch of music #kristen applebees and her faith and devotion broke my intense writers block #and still “i'll pray to those who'll listen / and i'll pray to everyone still left” #“i'll pray til i don't need your permission / and i'll pray and i'll learn your name” is still some of the hardest lyrics ive done #sorry to turn this general ally beardsley appreciation into a personal blah board but its like #god kristen applebees is all faith and kindness and empathy and it terrifies the people who oppose her #how can you fight someone who looks at you and returns only kindness?

[cupophrogs]

1. Dog day…why did you say when you saw your husbands picture “ he’s alive????” Did you think he was dead.

"The passage of time is worthless when you there's nothing you can count on, except pain. So I always assumed my past life, and everything in it, was already gone. Hope is a very fickle thing, down here."

(Based on this song)

#my neck hurts #I was originally going to turn this into a full animation - buut halfway through I'm like “fuck that actually” #relining the double frames was time consuming enough LMAO #I'm still pretty happy with how it turned out though! #Also if you're not really a fan of choral music I BEG of you to chekc out these composers: #Daniel Elder #Jake Runestad #randal stroope #and Moses Hogan #Some of my favorite composers of all fucking time #like holy shit #im such a choral nerd lmao #ask the three d's #the three d's #dogday #dogday poppy playtime #featured: kissy missy #featured: poppy #Charles poppy playtime #Drew drives a station wagon #he got his friend to paint little designs on it #phrart #art #also yes that IS a Rich puppet in Charles' lap #bro misses his hubby okay he needs to cope somehow #he's not delusional tho dw #it's just his way of keeping the memory alive since his memory is ass (me too Charles me too)

[ladysansalannister]

#tried to put one from each album #paramore #hayley williams #hayley from paramore #taylor york #zac farro #we are paramore #josh farro #jeremy davis #hate acknowledging them but well. they were part of making at least some of these songs #polls #music #i voted for turn it off #emergency is my second choice

[drzephyr]

Taemin Day and Night 171216

#taemin #lee taemin #shinee #gif #drzephyr #kpop #day and night #fancam #music core #ksoloists #ksoloedit #kpopstages #malegroupsedit #ultkpopnetwork #kpopccc #dailyshinee #shineeedit #analook #I kinda hate the coloring but at some point I just gave up #the yellow and the purple lights the moments where his skin turns sickly cold pink....

[toomanywordsnllines]

HEADCANNON TIME WITH MORE ROACH!

My favorite pass time is to look at a character and imagine what’s theyir favorite type of music is...and per consequence I also tend to love atributting them an instrument that I think fits them!

SO! Roach plays electric guitar >:3

Since he’s always been selective mute, his father feared that he wouldn’t have a way to truly express himself, so when Roach turned around twelve his father gifted him his first ever guitar. And from them he’s been jamming to his heart’s content.

When he and Ghost are home he loves bothering him with the worst songs he can think off, also doing specific sounds with the guitar as a form of communication.

#manysart #i had a fun time drawing these he he #eletric guitars are quite easy to bulshit your way around ashgdjahsdg #also am still thinking of what type of music Roach would listen too... #I already have Ghost's and Soap's pretty set #this goober is just a little harder #I think he would listen to The Strokes for some reason #maybe that's because those are the vibes i go with him XD #manyrambles #cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty roach #gary roach sanderson #ghost is also there #they share an appartment #i might turn the bottom one into a full piece >:3 #don't hold me to that tho ashdgjad

[pluginluca]

Hey guys I finally got around to making plug in baby art after having the idea in my brain for like 4 months.

Close ups + references:

For references. Generally was inspired by the plug in baby spin (i specifically looked at the one from ab brussels in 2003)

And his evil pose from the beginning of the MV

#muse #matt bellamy #muse fanart #plug in baby #muse band #my art #On plug in baby: #I’m extremely upset about the XX anniversary remaster of it #everything about it is GOOD but for some reason they took out his breathing #and my brain just automatically makes the whole song unlistenable #i need to hear the man breathe it’s part of the music #and like they only did that for plug in baby. its insane #On the drawing: #this is the first time a guitar has been the focal point of one of my drawings (especially one as silly as this one) #so ignore anything weird about it (i know the size is a little off.) #otherwise i enjoy how it turned out… plug in baby is (obviously) my favorite song so making this was very fun

[cuntvonkrolock]

if you mock children's theatre i hate you 🫶

#one of my favourite shows that i've seen was a production of fiddler on the roof junior #the girl playing hodel was legitimately incredible #and even when children's theatre productions are legitimately not good you should have some fucking sympathy #they're human they make mistakes #and for all you know it could be their first experience with theatre #don't ruin it for them #my first time doing theatre i genuinely sucked but i loved it and kept doing it #and now i'm at the point where i'm looking at majoring in musical theatre #somebody's first show not going well doesn't mean they won't improve #especially if you don't make them feel like shit about not being perfect #also i'm turning 18 this year and i've made so many mistakes onstage #everyone has bad shows #regardless of age #it's not uniquely worthy of mockery for kids to also have bad shows

[dididems]

teeny tiny bomba ♡

(do not draw this small with posca markers your wrist will thank you)

#bombalurina #cats the musical fanart #cats musical #cats 1998 #jellicle cats #got myself posca's for my bday and am figuring them out #so far I've been too eager to color on top of other colors so they get smudged #but bomba turned out cute so I am posting this. also to give my wrist some rest bc ow ow ow #will tumblr make this image like 10 pixels in my post? probably #dididems-art

[incomingalbatross]

Happy Easter, friends in my computer!!

#it's NICE to be back #things i did this lent: #tried to observe lent #school #saw live music last week! it was fun #hung out with friends over spring break #got into one piece and yes that is still ongoing so there MAY be posts about idiot anime pirates in the future #and in the past couple weeks (somewhat because of the last tag) rejoined the christian tumblr discord #...which DID feel like cheating on the Giving Up Social Media intent of giving up tumblr #but on the other hand i initially stopped hanging out there by accident/too much Life Stuff getting in my way #and i think being back there is good for me so i'm not gonna worry too much about the lent aspect :P #oh!! and my new tiny writing group with other people from my english program #is turning out to be good for pushing me toward writing (or at least getting excited about writing) some of my stuff that isn't fic #and on Easter AND Easter Monday we get to visit with family :)