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aliusworld · 1 year

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AngelHair

Angel Devil x Reader

aliusworld’s songfic event— inspo: MANNEQUIN album (Deco*27)

[Description: “I’m always a loser.”, “I can always quit, I can cool down if I want to.”, & “I wish I could hug you deep down and say it’s insecurity; if only that were love.”]

Warnings: None? Reader has insecurities.

{2238 words}

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The sun had just risen up, it was blaring itself into your eyes. You’ve been awake for a few minutes now, staring out through your window. It was annoying, the sun in your eyes, even if you shut them tight all you could see was red.

You try and move your body off the bed, but his arms were wrapped securely around you.

“…Angel? When I said to get comfortable with me, I didn’t mean to get this comfortable…” Was the first thing you said, he only just started sleeping next to you. He was fully covered, by his own will, and so were you! His arms weren’t tight, but at the same time you couldn’t move.

“…”

“Hey! Wake up! I know you aren’t asleep!” You twist your body to face him, we quickly shut his eyes in response, “Aha! I new it! C’mon Angel, let go of you just for a little bit…”

“I can’t. I just got to have you all to myself. I don’t want you to leave…” Angel murmured as he opened his eyes again.

“But the sun in shining in my eyes!!” You whine as you hug Angel, trying your hardest to be persuasive

“Just sleep facing me…” Angel shoved his head into your left shoulder, right i between the bed and your chin.

“And we need to get ready for the day~ We still have a job to do~”

“Stop saying that… can’t you just call off sick for today? I want to spend the rest of the…”

“No can do! Sorry, I used up all my sick days a while ago. You should probably know that by now.” You smile as you play with a couple of loose strands of Angel’s hair.

“…Say that I’m sick.” His voice was muffled as he spoke into your chest, you could feel his breath.

“A devil. Sick? No way they’re gonna believe that. Plus, we’ll both be in deep shit if we’re late again.”

“But I don’t want to move…” Angel rubbed against your body some more

“Fine, you can stay in bed. I’ll make some breakfast and I’ll wake you up when it’s time, alright?” You used the softest voice you could.

“I don’t want you to leave me either”

“You have to choose, my Angel~ Me or the bed?”

“You. Duh.”

“Yeah I thought so, come on. Let’s go~”

“…fine.”

You lift yourself off the bed, Angel was still clinging onto you, he was warm as per usual. You hadn’t noticed until now, but you two barely made any contact together outside from the… not safe for work stuff. His eyes were shut still, he trusts you enough to lead him the right way and to not drop him.

The breakfast you “made” was simple and easy. No need to open the fridge and make yourself and Angel cold. It was just bread covered in whatever else you had laying around. You didn’t toast it either. Simple and easy.

“Wake up, Angel.” You spoke gently as you poke his clothes shoulder. ‘I really want to touch his face.’ You shake it off as he opens his eyes again to see you.

“Are we leaving now?”

“Nope, you aren’t ready. And… We both need to eat” Your hand hovers over the food you ‘made’.

“Let me feed you”

“What.”

“You take good care of me, let me do the same for you.”

Your face turned red as your eyes widened. You turn away to pace yourself and turn back to say “sure.”

The bread was nice, what was even nicer was the look in Angel’s eyes. He looked like he was head over heels for you, if only you could actually touch him. If only he could actually touch you.

The time spent at breakfast was short, but it felt like heaven. With Angel still latched onto you, you make your way back to the bedroom to change into your work attire.

Angel sat down on the bed, watching you undress, you didn’t mind. Honestly, this was the closest thing you two could do to get even more intimate.

You took a few seconds to stare at the imperfections on your body before quickly turning back to put some clothes on. Of course, thoughts crawled through your head again and again. ‘Why does Angel even like me?’ He never gave you an answer because you never asked. Though you wish he would express himself more.

“Alright Angel, your uniform is in the closet go ahead and do it yourself” You smile at him as you put on your work shirt, it’s still unbuttoned but-

“Can I do that?” Angel pointed down at your chest.

“W-What?” Angel took that as a yes and came closer to you, his gloved fingers worked fast to button your shirt, “Angel… what’s up with you today..?”

“Nothing… it was just bothering me.”

‘Yeah, my body would bother me too.’ You didn’t say it though. You smiled at him and kissed the back of his hand, a show of thanks for his actions. He looked like he was about to melt, almost like a cat in a ray of sunshine.

You watch Angel get dressed, spacing out at the same time, you stare at his halo, his wings, his hair, his body… why did he settle for you?

“Are you done staring at me now?”

“Ah- What?” You zone back in, Angel moved in front of you, how did you not notice that?

“You know what I mean.” Angel crawled back on top of you, “I don’t like being away from you.”

“Me neither.” You stand up with Angel still clinging onto your arm, you throw your blazer on and head towards the door.

The weapon in your hand wasn’t unique, but it was special at the same time. It was made by Angel willingly. Not because the higher ups instructed him to do so. You knew how much he hated it but he kept on insisting again and again… Another special feature is that unlike most of the other weapons he creates, it’s a pole arm. It’s almost taller than you! The color wasn’t special, but the rest of it was beautifully made.

It reminded you of Angel whenever you looked at it, and that’s what you were doing for the past minute. Zoning out. Again. Angel was still clung onto you, he wasn’t saying anything, his head was on your shoulder, your thumb was rubbing against the grooves on the weapon. You shift your eyes to look at him, today was uneventful, but at least he’s here with you.

It was paperwork as usual. Filling out about the past devil interactions, Angel was supposed to be doing something as well, but does it even matter anymore? You both aren’t doing anything anyway.

“Angel?” Your voice perks up, you waited for a response from him.

“…” He didn’t say anything. You moved your head to get a good look at him, he was sleeping. Maybe you really should’ve just stayed home today.

The stacks of paper were definitely something, you’ve been staring at them for so long that they just look like gibberish. The black ink was mixing with the white background, your eyes felt droopy, sooner or later your head fell on top of the desk. It made a somewhat loud thud noise, it definitely woke Angel up. His head jolted off your shoulder and he stared at your drowsy form.

“Sorry to wake you up… I’m sorry, everything’s just a mess.”

“Nothings wrong, [name]. It’s fine… I can try to help..?” Angel rested his head next to yours, it felt like you were only a few centimeters apart, you could feel him breathe.

“It started off as such a good day. I just had to ruin it. It’s fine, stay here, do something. I’ll go get coffee or something.” You sigh and get up from the desk, Angel grabbed your hand.

“Let me go with you, please?”

“Haha… Sure.” You smile at him, it was forced from your part but it did the job. Angel got up from the desk, your hand was still in his, it was nice. Almost like you two were at home, but you weren’t.

“Good afternoon. [name], Angel.” Aki interrupted you two, he was also in the break room, alone. At some point, your hand with Angel detaches.

“Good afternoon, Aki” You say, Aki was so much… better than you. He works harder, he has more muscle, he… You shake your head to get the thoughts out, you place your cup down.

“Hi Aki.” Angel hasn’t noticed that he let go of your hand subconsciously, or were you to let go? You don’t remember. You go over to sit down on the couch, you’re so tired.

You tune them out at some point, you don’t know if they’re speaking to each other or not, you’re stuck in your thoughts again.

‘Why did Angel choose you?’ Repeats itself in your brain again and again.

‘Would he have chosen Aki if he were an option? Is he an option? Is Angel going to leave you? Are you going to be alone again?’

You wouldn’t say you were jealous, but it still feels horrible. You feel bad for yourself, but you can’t stop feeling the way you do. Your eyes were clouded with frustration as you leaned against the couch and looked towards the ceiling.

Your thoughts went from Aki to other people, like Makima… Himeno… your ex co-workers… They were so much prettier. So much more dominant and powerful, so much more than you could ever be.

What’s so good about you?

Maybe you should stop hanging around other people for a bit. Being alone with your thoughts? No- being trapped on your own with your thoughts? It would eat you from the inside. But you don’t want to bother anyone else with them.

“[name]? Are you… okay?” It was Angel’s voice. You hadn’t noticed at all, but Aki left the room already. Angel was back clinging onto your arm.

“Oh- yeah, I’m fine. Hey, we did enough work for today. Let’s go home.” Seriously? You didn’t even do a lot, you’re never getting a raise. You grabbed your pole arm from your office before leaving with Angel.

Maybe you’ll ask him tonight… or maybe you’ll just quit this job. It’s fine.

You’re fine.

Home didn’t have the same feeling as it did a few hours before. You felt… worthless. Why do you feel this way? Angel has given you no reason for thinking that way, yet here you are beating yourself up about something that doesn’t exist. But what if it does exist? You haven’t exactly given Angel a reason to stay either. So why?

“[name] you don’t look too good, are you actually okay?” Angel tilted his head to look at you.

“…I don’t know. I’m just…! I have no clue why…” Angry tears fall from your face, you were angry with yourself, why are you doing this to yourself?

Angel’s eyes widen as he sees your state of mind, you haven’t said anything yet but it looks like Angel understood a little bit, “Talk to me, [name]… what’s bothering you? Is it me or-“

“No! It’s not you, why would it be you? I don’t think I would ever be mad at you.” You choke out, through all your hiccups and sobs Angel somehow drags you to the bedroom.

“Then why?”

“I.. I don’t know… it’s- it’s because of me, but at the same time I just…” You couldn’t make eye contact with Angel, you couldn’t even lift your head up from your hands. Angel took your blazer off and threw it neatly to the side.

“Well?”

“Angel… why…?”

“So it is about me.”

“No, I mean… Angel, why do you like me?”

“What?”

“I mean, there’s so many other people out there that are just so much better than me. I don’t understand why you would-“

“Are serious right now?”

“Wh- huh?”

“You’re the only person for me…”

“But why? I just don’t get it… Aki’s so much more… better. So is-“

“Because you’re kind. You’re the only person who’s trusted me enough for anything. You’re the only one that’s willing to spend time with me. You mean the world to me, is there more you want to know?”

“Angel…”

“I think your beautiful too”

“But my body is…”

“I think you’re perfect. And if someone disagrees I’ll kill them.”

“Aha… Angel…” You smile at him, your tears stopped. “Don’t say stuff like that.”

You lay down in his lap, you’re looking straight up at him, he’s looking back.

“I’m sorry for being so insecure and… I’m sorry for blowing up on you. I… I didn’t mean to sound so…”

“No, you deserve to feel things. Seriously.”

You want to kiss him so bad. Show any way of weakness for him to fill the void within you. But you can’t, you know you can’t. If you did actually touch him, he’d only avoid you. Something about… ‘Not wanting to hurt you’. But what do you do if you want him to hurt you?

You kiss the tips of your gloved fingers and place in gently onto his lips, this takes him my surprise.

“That’s for you. Thank you.” You say, you slowly lower your hands from him mouth, “Thank you for sticking with me.”

“…I love you, [name].”

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

MASTERLIST

Taglist: @bubbles4marina

-Yours truly, 💟

#aliusworld #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #chainsawman x reader #angel devil csm #angel devil x reader #chainsaw man x you #angel devil chainsaw man #angel devil x you #angel devil x y/n #I loved writing this!#I was kind of projecting haha #I rlly hope this helps someone with insecurities because I deal with them too #stay healthy!!#aliusworld MANNEQUIN event

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bnha-more-like-bnh-gay · 1 year

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Tw: izuku’s self sacrificial tendencies and low self esteem

Izuku being so self sacrificial and just 1000% willing to die for his friends, and really just for anyone, and his friends are so fucking stressed about it :/

Like. It’s so unhealthy, but this kid is just willing to die to protect his friends and genuinely doesn’t understand why it freaks them out. He one time tells them point blank, “I’d die for you” and doesn’t understand why they’re like, “maybe let’s not do that????” He’s just so used to people not caring if he dies, and he thinks that it’s an okay/healthy way to show love and affection

Like, I imagine it is most detrimental with kiri, Shouto, Iida, Uraraka, Aoyama, and tsu. Like kiri is so insistent on telling izuku how manly he is, and how he admires him, and he starts to see how little izuku values his own life and it freaks him out. Like, izuku just doesn’t understand why they’re all telling him to stop and slow down, or why he needs to not jump into fights without backup. But instead keeps telling them that he’d be fine if he died protecting his friends, and it’s so earth shattering to them all

Shouto understands a bit more where izuku is coming from, but he is just so terrified of losing his first friend. Todoroki “ride or die” Shouto does NOT approve. He tries to stop izuku from putting up with bakugou’s bullshit too. He can see how bakugou impacts izuku’s mental health, and he’s the first one to try and separate them and keep izuku out of harms way. Because he knows what being around someone who torments you does to a person, and izuku, who’s so idiotically brave and kind, who sticks his nose in other people’s business for the sake of heroism and wanting them to feel safe, fucking deserves to have the same kind of annoying, amazing, really fucking odd help and support. And if Shouto can provide it, then of course he will

Iida has seen first hand how willing izuku is to jump in to protect his friends-they all have, but I’m talking about the hosu incident-and he’s so grateful for izuku helping him there, but Jesus does it terrify him how izuku just keeps doing it with no regards for his own life. He almost lost tensei, he can’t lose izuku

Uraraka knows how strong izuku is, they all do, but this dude is stressing her the fuck out with his lack of self preservation. She needs her best friend alive, thank you??? She admires him so much in the beginning, his bravery and heroic personality, and that continues, but she’s coming to realize that some of that bravery comes from such a horrible place of not caring if he lives or dies and she’s horrified

Aoyama. The fucking guilt he has right now. Because he knows where izuku is coming from to some degree, and he knows that it’s partially his fault. That if he wasn’t in cahoots with the L.O.V., izuku wouldn’t be so. Like this. He’s not stupid, he knows he’d still be like this. But he wouldn’t have the added pressure of wanting to protect Aoyama, his friend. And Aoyama doesn’t know what to do because he has to help keep his parents safe, but holy shit, what if izuku actually gets killed??

Tsu is rational, but she’s also good at looking at things from other people’s perspectives. But it just hurts so much to see how izuku views his self worth. She understands to a degree, because he grew up with pretty shitty influences (bakugou, the entirety of Aldera middle school, etc.), but she also does. Not. Get. It. She doesn’t want to get it. She loves her friends, and she knows they’re strong, hell, she’s strong as hell, but it’s just terrifying that this 16 year old, who is one of her best friends, who has saved all of their lives several times, is just so. Lackluster when it comes to keeping himself safe.

Mic (because it wouldn’t be one of my rants if I didn’t include my desire for this man to adopt me, but since that can’t happen, we project into also wanting him to adopt izuku) is just so devastated that this kid, a fucking child, a baby has to fight in a goddamn war. This is ridiculous. But just that he’s also so willing to die for literally anyone???? He’s seen where that got Oboro, and fuck if it doesn’t terrify him that, what if the green bean gets irrevocably hurt?? He’s such a kind, and thoughtful, and smart kid, but he’s also so fucking stupid. He doesn’t even mean it as an insult, it’s just so frightening that this child he’s supposed to be protecting is taking it upon himself to try and fix this major issue that has gotten multiple adults, pro-heroes, killed, maimed, and otherwise injured. AND HE IS A 16 YEAR OLD WITH A SHIT LOAD OF TRAUMA. FUCK. And he can’t even do much to try and keep him out of harms way! Hell, the kid isn’t even in his homeroom! But the war is coming and he can’t keep any of the kids away from it, and that’s even worse.

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