#I will literally not give a single flying fuck about how you think I should improve

[stuckinapril]

how do you fall in love with yourself

unlearn the idea that confidence is conceit. i see this belief imposed on women especially, that if they’re very unapologetic about loving themselves it automatically means they’re narcissistic / think they’re better than everybody else. that’s not true at all. you can love yourself while also acknowledging you’re not inherently better than anyone else. you can love yourself while also being kind & supportive to others. it’s okay to be both of these things at once.

let go of the scarcity mindset. women (everyone really, but especially women) get pitted/compared against each other all the time. you see it w female celebrities in the media, but it’s very prevalent in real life as well. this is very much years of societal conditioning & both women & men partake in this behavior. ignore it. rest easy knowing that there can be multiple beautiful women, multiple smart women, multiple funny women in any environment at any given time. there is enough clout to go around; you don’t need to feel like if there’s another pretty/smart girl it means you no longer have the space to also be a pretty/smart girl. instead operate from an abundance mindset: always (alwaysss) be happy for other girls when they succeed, when they’re praised, when they’re loved, whatever. see them not as competition but as inspiration. envy is such a colossal waste of time bc nobody else’s accomplishments have any bearing on your own!!

get to know yourself more. i love the analogy of dating yourself bc it’s true. i went through a rough period of being around my ex 24/7 to the point i didn’t even know myself, and then i spent the post-breakup year hanging around everyone else constantly to numb my thoughts. now i’m spending more time alone than ever & i’m getting to know myself so much. learning about my taste in fashion, music, everything. and i’ve had so much more time to invest in hobbies & skills, which is very instrumental to building healthy self-esteem. ofc there’s a more balanced way to do this, but make sure you’re not running away from yourself!

what do you like outside of everybody’s opinion? don’t interpret this the wrong way—it’s completely fine to be inspired. every single person you know has copied someone else to an extent. but if you find yourself going too far, not trusting yourself to make the simplest decisions, just following trends blindly and nothing else, you’ve left the inspiration territory and started crossing into plagiarism. move from a place of self-direction and really think about what is naturally appealing to you. it doesn’t matter if it’s not popular or nobody else likes it. if you like it & if it makes you happy, that’s all you need.

practice self-love! i had to do this lol but it works wonders. i started intentionally telling myself that i trust my own taste, that i trust my own choices, that if i think something’s cool it’s good enough, talking to myself kindly etc etc. eventually all this stuff will become natural to you & you won’t find yourself having to expend so much energy into simply loving you for you. don’t give up even if it’s hard to believe at times.

don’t give a fuck. seriously. just don’t give a single flying fuck what someone else has to say. there will always be That One Person who tries to tear you down, belittles you, gaslights you etc etc and if you know in your heart you’re not doing anything wrong, just ignore and keep it pushing. you can’t be everyone’s favorite person (nor should you want to be). think of your favorite celebrity. anyone ever. they probably all got subjected to hate. now think of how they’re successful still & how it didn’t take anything away from them. there you go <3

if literally everyone on this planet starts hating you, loving yourself is still the antidote. to clarify, how others perceive us does hold weight. but if legit every single person i know started hating me, and i still loved myself, i’d probably still live a full life bc my perception is all that really matters in the end. i don’t need anyone else to be my #1 fan—i can do that myself just fine. it technically is actually your world & everyone else is just living in it. so enjoy that! stop giving a hard time to the one person who will always be w you through thick and thin (yourself). eat good food & watch good shows & read good books & just have fun. i love u

#i have a lot to say ab this bc i went from being in a very low place to now being my own favorite girl in the world so #also i refer to women a couple of times here but really this is applicable to everyone!! #ask

[apomaro-mellow]

Demon!Eddie 5

At some point, Eddie had cleaned Steve up a little and dressed him in a tank top and shorts. The shirt had a band he’d never heard of but maybe Eddie would tell him about it sometime. Steve had tried to get up on his own only to immediately fall back onto the bed when he felt a sharp pain. That would be last night, coming back to literally bite him in the ass.

“Job hunting’s gonna have to wait”, Eddie grinned.

Eventually they migrated to the couch back in the apartment, Eddie lying on his back and Steve right on top of him. He found it very easy to imagine if the rest of his life was like this. In Eddie’s clothes, in his place, completely surrounded by him.

Steve didn't even know where his clothes from the first night went and he didn't give a flying fuck. Not when he was laying on top of Eddie, getting his lower back rubbed.

"Don't get a big head about it. That was the first dick I ever took."

“I didn’t say anything”, Eddie said.

“I can feel it in your hands”, Steve replied before letting out a soft hum as Eddie’s fingers pressed a spot on his spine. 

The morning was spent so lazily and for the first time in a long time, Steve wasn’t thinking about his future or what he was supposed to do about it. He just relaxed in Eddie’s hold. The only time he worried was when Eddie got up to say he was making breakfast. Steve ignored any soreness to confirm if his suspicions were correct.

And to his horror, Eddie dumped ground coffee into a pot, filled it with water, and then set it all on the stove. 

“You’re an animal”, Steve said.

“I think we established that last night”, Eddie smirked.

“I’m talking about your coffee set up. Where’s your coffee maker? Your filters?”

“What’s wrong with the way I make coffee?”

“Tony the tiger wouldn’t make it that way.”

Eddie’s retort was cut off by a knock on the door and a man’s voice. “Eddie? Edifice Edacity Edger you open this door right now!”

“Shit!”

“Who’s that?”, Steve asked.

“Uhh, that would be my uncle. Stay here for a second and don’t make a sound.” Eddie pushed Steve towards the magic door and before Steve knew it, he was floating in a dark abyss.

He wasn’t in the lavish bedroom from before, nor was he in any of the places Eddie took him yesterday. It was just an endless void with no gravity. Steve was no stranger to hiding in girls’ closets, but this was definitely different.

“His uncle, huh...”, Steve whispered just in case. He wondered what he was like. Probably terrifying if Eddie was trying to hide him. Maybe he was closer to a more traditional demon and would’ve eaten Steve up or sucked our his soul.

Steve felt like he was flying and floating and descending all at the same time and just as he was starting to feel disoriented, he saw the light of the door opening right next to him and Eddie reaching in. Steve took his hand and was pulled back into the apartment.

“Wayne, this is Steve, my current contractor. Steve, this is my Uncle Wayne.”

Uncle Wayne looked more like the kind of guy who spent his free time at hardware stores and bait shops than a demon. But now Steve felt like it would be rude to ask.

“Hi there, sir. Nice to meet you.”

Wayne’s hands were on his hips as he looked Steve up and down. “Hmph. He’s easy on the eyes, I’ll give ‘im that. But you should know better than to be swayed by a nice face.”

“I’m not being swayed”, Eddie said. “It’s just taking some time to fulfill his request.”

Wayne gave him a disappointed look. Steve knew they were talking about him but couldn’t see what the exact problem was.

“You know how this story ends, son.”

Eddie crossed his arms. “No actually, I don’t. Why don’t you enlighten us, oh wise storyteller.”

“Eddie, don’t be rude to your uncle”, Steve chastised. 

Wayne held up a hand. “He’s a brat, but he ain’t misbehavin’. But my official designation is ‘storykeeper’.”

“A what?”

Wayne waved a hand and glowing tomes materialized all around them. “Every single person that has ever existed, has a story to tell. Demons too. When a life ends, everything gets compiled and their story comes into my hands.”

“So...you know everything that’s ever going to happen?”, Steve asked in awe.

“I’m not omniscient. I only know what happens when the story’s over. But after doing this for as long as I have, you start to notice patterns.”

“And what’s my pattern?”, Eddie raised a brow.

“How does bullheaded young buck gets too caught up in one deal sound? Does that sound like a fit?”

“I’m not-” Eddie rolled his eyes but made the mistake of looking at Steve while doing so and had to quickly avert them.

“I don’t understand how any of this works, but is Eddie doing anything wrong? We have a deal and he’s seeing it through”, Steve said in his defense.

“Most demons ain’t so thorough”, Wayne answered.

“You and I both know most demons ain’t honest either”, Eddie said.

“Eddie, get the deal done. And move on.”

Eddie didn’t respond but Wayne wasn’t waiting for one, already on his way out the door. Steve waited for the door to close to speak again.

“Am I....are you breaking any rules because of me?”

“Rule breaking is a part of my creed, baby. But technically, no. Wayne’s right, most demons would’ve set you up in a new place with a new name and considered their job done. But I pride myself on my customer service.”

Steve smiled. “Right. You serve all your customers the same way?”

Eddie saw the way Steve was looking at him and faltered. “N-no. No, I don’t. But you’re special.”

It certainly made Steve feel special to hear it straight from Eddie. He got the deeper meaning of Wayne’s warning. They were both supposed to be very short chapters in each other’s lives. Ships passing in the night or whatever. Steve knew, once he had figured out what he wanted, Eddie would leave and he’d never hear from him again.

“I think I’m all rested up now. Let’s keep looking.”

“You sure?”, Eddie asked.

“Yeah. After we get some decent coffee.”

--------------------------

Maybe it was because of his uncle’s words, but Eddie kept his distance for the next few jobs. Steve tried not to mind too much. He was going to have to do whatever he chose without Eddie anyway. He spent the rest of the morning into the early afternoon in a summer camp, working as a sports counselor. 

He had plenty of fun teaching some boys the basics of basketball and running them through drills and even getting through a mini game that they all seemed to enjoy. After a couple periods though, he had a free moment and explored the camp. He ended up being wrangled by a group of boys who needed some muscle for a satellite project.

“I didn’t even know we did this kind of thing at this camp”, he admitted, while lugging around machinery he couldn’t even begin to name.

“Yeah, no duh. You sports counselors barely leave Jock Row”, one kid snarked.

“You should come by the Arts and Sciences building some time”, another said. “We’re always doing something cool.”

“Even if it’s not totally legal!”, the one who had grabbed Steve beamed.

“Uh, what’re you guys’ names again?”

“I’m Dustin, the nice one’s Will, and those two are Lucas and Mike.”

“How does Will get ‘nice one’?”, Lucas asked.

“You know Will’s the reason your cabin didn’t get Cinnamon Toast night, right?”, Mike said.

Dustin gave such a gasp, Steve was worried he’d swallowed a lung.

“Our cabin had to do it with biscuits! How could you?”

“They made it a competition and that’s the one kind I can win”, Will shrugged.

They made it to their destination and Steve followed their disjointed directions but eventually the satellite was built and they were talking to the girls camp across the lake. It was completely juvenile and fun and Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d done something like this. 

The lunch bugle rang and Steve was approached by a black and red frog while the campers went off to eat.

“And what have you been up to? Frog stuff?”

Eddie croaked, then hopped a couple times in place. Steve crossed his arms.

“I’m not picking you up like this. You’re all, slimy. And you look poisonous.”

Frog-Eddie croaked and hopped onto his shoe, still urging at him but Steve was a rock. Eddie transformed back into himself, wearing the camp t-shirt and red shorts that was the counselor uniform.

“You weren’t so picky about my fluids last night”, Eddie smirked, while wrapping his arms around Steve.

“Yeah there’s a difference.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, beautiful~ Lunch and then on to the next?”

“Let’s.”

----------------------------

Eddie had zero idea why Steve wanted to work in an office. But hey, who was he to judge? At least he wasn’t trying to be a cop anymore. 

Steve really just wanted to experience office culture for himself. It was the sort of thing his father had been setting him up for. Before the ritual sacrifice of course. He was put on mailroom duty and that was where he met his worst enemy - Robin Buckley.

She sneered and scoffed at him most of the time. And when she deigned to use words, her comments were always biting. Delivering mail wasn’t too bad, except the fact that most of the employees barely looked him in the face while delivering. He came to the break room and Robin was already there. He tried to ignore her while getting a yogurt from the fridge.

He leaned against it when another guy came in. Steve was pretty sure his name was Kenneth.

“Hey, it’s the mailroom crew!”, he smarmed while refilling his mug with coffee. “You know Robin you should, maybe not scowl so much the boys here appreciate a nice smile.”

Kenneth walked out before he could see Robin’s megawatt dirty look. She glanced at Steve and saw he had the same look as her.

“What an asshole”, Steve said.

“That’s putting it lightly. There’s so much as, there’s no hole left”, Robin snarked.

Steve slid over closer to her so they could continue to talk in whispers. The people here were jerks but he might choose to work with them one day.

“At least he’s better than Nick.”

Robin wretched with her tongue out. “You know he slept with Norma at the Christmas party?”

Steve raised a brow. “Nick? With the ring on his finger and the happy family picture in his cubicle?”

“Yeah.”

“Scumbag.”

They spent more than was probably allowed on their break, trading gossip. Steve only got distracted when he saw a very attractive janitor roll by with his mop and bucket. Without a word, he walked off and followed him right into the closet.

“You’ve been wandering around more”, Steve said as the door closed.

“Just tryina give you space baby. Wouldn’t wanna influence your decision”, Eddie grinned, taking the cap off his head.

“And what if my decision was to blow off work and have some fun with the cleaning guy in the broom closet?”

“Sounds like the opposite of climbing the corporate ladder”, Eddie grinned while unzipping his jumpsuit.

“The opposite of climbing is what again?”, Steve said as he sank down to his knees.

Part 7

Tag Team

@swimmingbirdrunningrock @flustratedcas @estrellami-1 @weirdandabsurd42 @lololol-1234 @chaoticvictorianspirit @giopandaonice @marklee-blackmore @blackpanzy @kacatshi @stevesbipanic @goodolefashionedloverboi @panicatthediaz @gregre369 @littlewildflowerkitten @starryeyedpoet17 @envyadams-vs-me @abbiecadabi-blog @genderless-spoon  @stxrcrossed186 @l0st-strawberry @willowsmelody @bornonthesavage @mxmakessense @roaringgoodshow @potato-of-the-lord @actualwakingnightmare @meccaminayah @irregular-child  @cherr1ehead @anaibis @finalmoondragon @sani-86 @bestwifehaver @tinyplanet95 @mc-i-r @abstractnaturaldisaster @livgil273 @crowley--aziraphale @formacoon @slv-333 @just-a-tiny-void @beckkthewreck @awkwardgravity1 @plasticcrotches

#don't worry steve's thinkin some thoughts #eddie is tryin not to #but they get thunked anyway #apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #preeetty sure the next part is the last #but dont quote me on that #i want one more sex scene #we'll see if the board of directors (my brain) allows it

[soliloquent-stark]

Do u think when stevetony first get together there’s a fight for who gets which side of the bed? Because I think so 🤔

dear anon, i am SO glad you asked this. you have no idea what monster you've created with this question.

my short answer: yes.

my long answer:

stony ficlet: the left side of the bed

steve noticed it from the moment he started spending the night in tony's room, when their supposedly casual sex slowly started turning into more — tony always went for the left side of the bed, much to steve's dismay. as a result, he'd have restless nights full of tosses and turns, every single time. if only he could sleep on that same side...

the thing is, steve didn't have a preference just for the sake of it. between sharing a tiny bed with his mom as a child and being in a literal war, he could fall asleep anywhere. hell, tony's bed is too soft for him anyway, and sometimes the floor seemed more inviting.

so, this wasn't about him being fastidious. this was about safety: steve always had to be the closest person to the door, so he could be the first one in the line of fire, so he could protect the other person. and it just so happens that, the way the room is set up, the side near the exit was the left one.

he didn't want to bring it up and make it into a thing, so one day, a few weeks into their new and fragile relationship, he simply settled in that spot while tony was in the bathroom. he figured it was a minor enough gesture; surely he didn't need to ask?

to say it pissed tony off was an understatement.

he didn't even give a reason why this was so important to him — and steve had witnessed him sleeping diagonally on his workbench, and in a chair while slouched on the table during meetings, and even standing against a goddamn doorframe once.

"if i remember correctly, and i always do, you were leaning on the right side of it", steve had said. "but i dunno, maybe it was more comfortable than this perfectly fine right side of your bed?"

tony only got more upset.

"i dunno," he parroted, "was the ice more comfortable than this perfectly fine right side of the bed?"

it was a low blow, but steve didn't take the bait. he found no other option but to admit to tony the truth about his hang-up, which somehow escalated the situation further.

"for fuck's sake steve, you don't need to be a fucking human shield! you're off duty, and i'm no damsel in distress."

it's not that steve thought iron man needed his safeguarding. but that's how his brain was wired. he needed to protect — he'd already let down so many people in his life. he hadn't been able to get his mom medical help, he hadn't stopped bucky from falling, and he already had witnessed tony fly to his near-death once, as part of a team steve was the leader of. guarding became his default mode. but tony was so stubborn and he simply didn't get it.

steve just sighed, but tony must have sensed his discomfort, because the fight seemed to leave his body.

then, with a soft and tentative voice, tony admitted to steve that he preferred that side because it had always been how he slept, since childhood. he always left the other part of the bed empty, and his mother would often sit there as she tucked him in, with a kiss on his forehead and a caress on his cheek.

"that's an example of the gentle side of her parenting that howard wasn't allowed to see because he'd disapprove of coddling me," tony had said. "her affection happened mostly behind the closed doors of my room, and we weren't caught once, because he never came to say goodnight."

steve felt his heart ache as he wordlessly rolled to the other side of the bed, making space for tony in his designated spot, and opening his arms for a hug.

he should have realized that tony was just like him, and that the reasons behind his neuroses were often tied to the same worries and trepidations that also drove steve mad.

it's not going to be easy to sleep like this, he had thought as he was holding his boyfriend close to his chest, but it's okay. it's for tony.

however, the following evening, when he entered the bedroom and saw that tony had moved everything around so that the right side of the bed was facing the door, he laughed with relief.

"i find solutions for everything, don't i," tony joked. "not like it wasn't the obvious thing to do, anyways."

but steve was aware that by doing what he did, he had totally messed up his carefully designed layout; even steve could admit that the room looked a bit silly now. somehow, tony genuinely seemed unbothered by it, and was just pleased that this way, nobody had to compromise on the quality of their sleep.

steve fell a little bit in love, just then.

gif sources: due date (2010) and before we go (2014)

find longer fics on my ao3

#yes i downloaded those movies and made those gifs only for this one post #SO WHAT #also yes i have a side of the bed too and it's the left one 🤭 #ficlets by soliloquent #stony #stevetony #stony ficlet #stony drabble #steve rogers #stevie baby #tony stark #tony my beloved #character insight #my headcanons #answered

[ae-neon]

Debated making this rant cause I'm technically shading a mutual but I cannot keep quiet about this

Y'all are too comfortable telling black women what should and shouldn't be considered racism.

Especially in defense of these shallow smutty booktok romantasies that are actually dripping acidic right wing ideology into your brains.

I am not here to debate this. These books and the characters in them are racist. That is a fact.

You can say the Bat boys are "Caucasian", you can say it's prejudice not racism, or they have trauma that justifies their thoughts and actions, you can insist one is worse than the other etc etc I literally don't care

But realise that if you can see past what the author and other characters say to have a better understanding for Nesta and Tamlin and Lucien and whoever else but you wanna insist that majority, if not all, Illyrians are incapable of changing their societal norms given the chance and infrastructure then you are being racist too. You have bought into the racism of the characters and the author.

Even if you see the Illyrians as white, in the context of the story, they are their own race separate from human and high fae and outside of that, whether you want to admit it or not, they are poc-coded

Cassian and Azriel being under Rhysand's authority does not negate the fact that they have more power and influence than any other Illyrians.

Them being traumatized doesn't negate that in 400 years they have used their power and influence to advocate for 0 policies to stop other children from being victims of the same abuse.

Cassian's own mother was tortured to death but he only puts his foot down regarding the training of women when it affects his white girlfriend.

These men belong in hell. All of them.

Them asking the camp lords if the women can train and taking their refusal doesn't mean anything. It's like asking slave masters if they can let their slaves read. Who gives a flying rainbow coloured fuck what they think.

In 400 years, all they did was declare, into the void, that wing clipping is illegal and never lift a finger to enforce it but I bet you if some guy or even an Illyrian woman took an ax to Feyre's wings we'd suddenly see the sky fall

They pick and choose when to care about Illyria, they are more than happy to profit from the labour of the soldiers bodies, they speak in rancid tones about the people even though if you counted every single Illyrian man above 18 as pure evil it would still be less than half of all Illyrian people.

These men are racists.

They are textbook self hating moc.

They literally ascribed Illyrian traits to Nesta when they find her behaviour less than desirable

There is a word I wanna use but I won't

If you wanna make a post about how sad their lives are that's cool, your blog your space, but please do not attempt to tell me that they are not racists in the comments of my posts

#anti sjm #racism in fantasy #racism in fandom

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

The NO-SKIP Albums: A Tag Game 🎶💖

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums. 🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules: 1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND 2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

Thank you SO much for tagging me in this @ventiswampwater, @rottent33th, and @visceravalentines. This was so much fucking fun, I love getting to talk about music sdhgsgdhsjdg <3

Absolutely no-pressure tags, only if you want to! @spookyscaryslashy, @lucifers-horror-harem, @bisexual-horror-fan, @bluecoolr, @slaasherslut, @ace-disgrace-on-the-case, @lady-of-glass-and-bone, and literally anyone else who might be interested in doing this. Consider yourself tagged! :3

Album info, track recs, and lyrics under the cut!

Black Labyrinth, by Jonathan Davis

Track recc: "Underneath My Skin" Something's crawling underneath my skin, I fear / Something's dying, rotting deep within / Something's crawling underneath my skin, I fear / Something's dying, I will not give in

Greatest Hits, by the Cure

Track recc: "Cut Here" So dizzy, Mr. Busy, too much rush to talk to Billy / All the silly frilly things have to first get done / In a minute, sometime soon / Maybe next time, make it June / "Until later" doesn't always come

Future Nostalgia, by Dua Lipa

Track recc: "Pretty Please" Put my mind at ease, trickle down my spine / Oh, you look so pretty, please / Every single night, I need your hands on me / When your kisses climb / Oh you give me sweet relief

Hybrid Theory, by Linkin Park

Track recc: "By Myself" Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin / I make the right moves but then I'm lost within / I put on my daily facade again / But then I just end up getting hurt again

Fallen, by Evanescence

Track recc: "Imaginary" In my field of paper flowers / And candy clouds of lullaby / I lie inside myself for hours / And watch my purple sky fly over me

See You On the Other Side, by Korn

Track recc: "Throw Me Away" Flesh wound, flesh wound / With medication, it will fade / Should I assume / That someone hears me when I pray? / Love, full of hate / Don't you love / How I break?

Sevas Tra, by Otep

Track recc: "My Confession" I think about it all the time / I'm volatile and afraid to cry / But I'm still not comfortable in my skin / And the anesthetic's slowly wearing thin

Sinner, by Drowning Pool

Track recc: "All Over Me" Something I might just regret / Something you will not forget / Maybe I should throw away / Everything I've learned today

The Fear of Fear, by Spiritbox

Track recc: "Cellar Door" Transform my death into a conduit / This body separate from the fear of fear / Inside a coping mechanism for monotony / I will destroy the double vision / That I was forced to leave

#cheated a lil bit with some of these #the fear of fear is technically an ep and i don't listen to a particular song on sevas tra because it is.............. very fuckin dark #and greatest hits is technically a collection of songs from other albums #BUT!!!!!!!!!!! regardless. i am kissing each of these albums on the lips #u know how it is #ace rambles #tag game #ace's music reccs #also yes dua lipa is one of the token pop artists i listen to along with lady gaga. don't @ me

[astridthevalkyrie]

chand ko chakor dekhe, tujkho naseebo wala (the bird looks at the moon, a lucky one looks at you) | hawks x reader | chapter 1

“You’ve died twice? From clocks?” “I know you’re not blind to the rocks and debris flying literally everywhere! The world would be better off without you in it!” you scream at the villain. The machine is even louder as it breaks and jams into the ground. “Flying building pieces or something, I don’t know—one hit me yesterday. The first day I got knocked into a wall, and then I woke up hugging my body pillow. Same thing the next day. And the next, and the next. Did my number three pro hero partner save me? No, he let me get stuck in a fucking time loop!” Or, you’ll do a lot of things with infinite time on your hands, but falling in love with Keigo Takami isn’t one of them.

a/n: lady gaga mentions all over :) i know mha is set in the future but i didn’t feel like inventing some fictional artist in the future so, you know. whateva. i am a lady gaga fan.

warnings: afab reader with she/her pronouns. FOUL language, reader curses so much, and just general rudeness, lots of death because reader is morbid, chapter warnings will be added to each chapter

“You like the song Poker Face.”

“Um, duh?” Hawks gives you a lopsided grin. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“No.” Your eyes dim. “I don’t. But that doesn’t matter. You’re about to be really happy in two seconds.”

Sometimes you say two seconds as a kind of placeholder time, like if your mother was telling you to come downstairs to eat or if a civilian wanted an autograph in the midst of you taking a photo with another one. But in this case, it’s literal. 1, 2, and—

“Oh, hey!” The hero’s eyes brighten as the tune starts, bopping his head to the rhythm almost immediately. The sound comes from the mall you two are walking by. “Nice guess, Nightingale. Unless you requested it specifically for me.” He gives you the famous wink, punctuated with a single finger gun.

“How would I? You never told me that you liked it. Send a feather over there, that kid’s about to fall.”

Like a real hero, his head sharply turns the same time a feather shoots out, right as a child stumbling on a skateboard falls back. The back of his shirt nudging him back up, the kid waves shakily, stammering thank you, Hawks! thank you! even though the shitty birdbrain would have missed it if you didn’t call it first. 

“You could have stopped that too if you saw it first. Why let me take the credit? In a generous mood today, are we?” 

“No.” You cross your arms. “It’s just he thinks girl heroes are lame. Sexist little shit. I should have let him fall. It’s fucking hilarious when he does.”

This time Hawks cocks (ha, rhyme) his head, looking more avian than usual. “You know him?”

“Sure. I know him. Someone in a pirate costume is about to turn the street.”

And so he does. “Okay, Nightingale, you’re freaking me out.”

With a sigh, you begin a flurry of wind under you. “You go left, I’ll go right!”

“Wha—”

The ground breaks right as the beat drops. Out of the road a man with a large clock tattoo on his neck emerges, at the top of a loony machine. Several people scream (no he can’t read my POKER FACE she’sgottolovenobody), and like real pros, both you and Hawks are up in the air in an instant. Somehow he’s quicker than you, even still. Well, fuck it—you’re not a literal fucking bird, are you?

“You go left, I’ll go right!” Hawks shouts, and then a second later, “Huh?”

Ha. Little birdie’s confused, you wonder if his head will do a full 180. That would be cool and gross at the same time. More gross. You hope he doesn’t do that. 

“I am Clockworth, the clock villain!” both the man from the ground and you shout at the same time. When his eyes gape in your direction, you flip him the bird. The snot-nosed skateboard kid points up like a dope, like you’re some fucking. Spectacle sight that is going to keep him safe no matter what. 

“What’s going on?” Hawks, pointedly not at the right, as you catch the boulder that goes flying down in the wind. “Did you get a tip about this?”

“Would that make me know what you were going to say?”

“Dunno, maybe you’re just intuitive.” i wanna roll with him a hard pair we will BE

“I didn’t get a tip, shitbrain.”

“Rude,” he quips. “Then?”

“I’m reliving—”

Another boulder that neither he nor you see coming smashes into. your goddamn face. 

—————————————————

“—the same day over and over again.”

One punch to the wind and the boulder breaks, crumbling into tiny rocks that litters down Hawks’ wings. He brushes the smoke out of his face. 

“Cool.” Then he’s zooming away, nine wings spreading out in different ways to evacuate the six fucks who think they’re so cool spectating instead of running. 

No no, Hawks is not going to be chill about this, that’s what you’re here to do. You just dropped a bomb on him, and he is going to be surprised if you have to beat the surprise into him yourself.

“You don’t believe me. The biggest trauma of my life and you don’t believe me.”

“How can I after fuck-with-Hawks day?”

“Fuck-with-Hawks day,” you whisper dreamily. You wish you were reliving fuck-with-Hawks day, you’d never want to wake up notthatthisisadream. “Sure, but I don’t fuck with Hawks on non-fuck-with-Hawks days. Aerial wheel!” The hell was up with calling out the names of your moves in the first place? To strike fear? Clockworth wasn’t-that-the-name-of-the-thing-in-Beauty-and-the-Beast Villain Man doesn’t look scared as he fires off the tiny clocks he keeps producing straight out of his head. 

“You absolutely fuck with Hawks on non-fuck-with-Hawks days.” Two swords in his hands now. Predictable, even without the time loop thing. “Okay, fine, I’ll bite. Answer a few questions for me.”

“Sure.” Not like you’re fighting a villain in the meantime.

“How many times have you relived today?”

“Ten. No, shit, eleven. Fuck! I was going to tell you yesterday (or yestoday) and that would have been perfect but now it’s the fucking eleventh day.”

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?”

“Got killed.”

Hawks barks out a laugh, slamming his full weight into the machine carrying Cogsworth Clockworth. “During this fight? That’s embarrassing for you. You’re talking about trauma, what do you think the other me had to go through seeing your dead body?”

“Way to make it about yourself. Oh, die,” you snap irritably when a tiny clock hits you on the cheek. It doesn’t even sting. Goddamn useless quirk. 

“Harsh.”

“Not you, dipshit.”

“Ah. Proceed. Anyways, next question. Do you know how to beat this guy?”

i'mnotlyingi'mjuststunninwithmylovegluegunning stupid as SHIT lyrics. “Yeah, keep hacking away at the fucking thing. You break through it eventually. Sometimes. I assume all the time. Two out of eleven times I haven’t actually seen you do it.”

Something about knowing the future does wonders to a man’s vigor and strength. With the backend of his sword-feather, Hawks finally stabs through it, right as you finally shoot a burst of wind strong enough to knock CLOCK BOZO down. 

“You’ve died twice? From clocks?”

“I know you’re not blind to the rocks and debris flying literally everywhere! The world would be better off without you in it!” you scream at the villain. The machine is even louder as it breaks and jams into the ground. “Flying building pieces or something, I don’t know—one hit me yesterday. The first day I got knocked into a wall, and then I woke up hugging my body pillow. Same thing the next day. And the next, and the next. Did my number three pro hero partner save me? No, he let me get stuck in a fucking time loop!”

Yanking on the man’s hair, you force him down, keeping both your legs away from any sweeping risks (the first time had been embarrassing enough. Never again.) 

Wingspan shorter but not too short, Hawks lands in front of you, holding the struggling villain down as you tie his hands together. “Okay, one more question.”

“Only one? My lucky day.”

“Why tell me, and why tell me now?”

Mockingly, you hold up two fingers. You don’t know how bird elementary school works, but the Oxford comma won’t disguise that he merged two questions into one.

“I believe you. C’mon, you can give me two answers.” Hawks tilts his head with his kicked-puppy pet-me feed-me-a-treat wouldn’t-look-bad-whimpering look. 

“Okay, fine. I’m telling you now because I’ll toss myself into the sun if I don’t tell someone, and I’m telling you because…” Sirens fill the air, signaling the police have arrived. Not that you were all that tense before, but your shoulders relax a little. They’ll take him away and you and Hawks can have a nice little talk so you can steal his ideas on how to get the hell out of this then pretend they’re your own the following day. 

“I’m telling you because you’re always there.” Not in the he’s a hero way, not in the your quirks compliment each other and that’s why you’re always paired together way, not in the he’s the closest thing you have to a best friend way, not even in the feeling safe when he gives you a reassured smile way. “There’s two constants. Doesn’t matter what I do. One is that you’ll be a part of my day, and the other is that I’ll die before the clock hits midnight.”

For the first time since you’ve broken the news to him, Hawks looks genuinely concerned. It gives you a sick pleasure. “You die every single time?”

“The villain’s still alive!”

“No, you idiot, he’s tied up!”

Bang, goes the bullet into your stomach.

—————————————————

“Yeah,” you groan, slumping forward next to your cup of coffee, “every single time.”

Hawks whistles lowly, placing a single hand over you to pat your head. “She’s good,” he says to the waitress, in his stupid, charming, beautiful tone, “But she’ll take another coffee. Best start a tab.”

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks x you #keigo takami x you #takami keigo x you #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia x you #boku no hero academia x you #ckc fic #valkyrie stories

[litgwritersroom]

So usually in UK LI, there's a challenge along the lines of the mean tweets one, but with news headlines (they do both in most seasons). Any season, any point in time, doesn't have to be focused on a particular character or MC, just generalised based on the events of the season + the drama afterwards.

Read It & Tweet

S5 | 3900+ words | @i-boop-you

A mash up of Mean Tweets and the Headlines challenge. Season Five is in full swing, and it's about to be in sull swill, too. As the Islanders play their newest challenge, drinks go flying, and after everything she's been though, Saira isn't going to let this opportunity go without some justice.

Thank you to Kellee, Iris, Audrey, Natalie, and Suzi for letting me use their usernames in this fic! And to Chrys for giving it a look over for me🥰

How much more did Saira have to endure? Already everything was a shit show. Literally, a show of shit. At every turn, everything went wrong. From the moment her ex was revealed to be a fellow contestant, to her first pick partner being chosen, to the backstabbing and bitches, and above all, after the weeks Saira had spent in the Villa, she didn’t feel like there was a single person she could truly call her friend.

At every fucking turn, it was like they were all looking to screw her over. Her fellow Islanders were always so hot and cold, though that ratio was growing considerably more arctic as time went on. Week after week she had to endure steaming piles of shit heaped at her feet only to be told that she should be thankful she was getting anything at all. Madness didn’t begin to cover it.

But endure it she did. There had to be a light at the end of this tunnel. There just had to be. So far, the only miniscule, microscopic pleasure she’d had was seeing Eddie get dumped after Casa. Fuckity bye, bitch.

A text came through a few days later about a challenge.

“Islanders,” Suresh read out, lounging like the gift from God he really thought he was, “get ready for today’s challenge ‘Read It & Tweet’. Time to find out who’s breaking news and who’s just a snooze. Hashtag, hitting the headlines, hashtag, fake news.”

Whoops of excitement for something new to do gave way to nervous, mumbling laughter. Saira couldn’t help but get her hopes up that karma was gonna rain truth down on the others like a hail of rock.

When the news came through, Saira had been sunbathing with the original duo, Shady Comments and Back-Handed Compliments, otherwise known as Dana and Kat, and her fire-fuelled gaze lit up on them like they were made of coal.

“I already know half of these are gonna be about me,” Kat said with prideful confidence, raising to her feet, her fingers at her collar bone regally.

“You’re not worried they’re gonna say something bad?” Dana asked.

“No press is bad press,” she went on as the trio filed into formation with the other Islanders. “All I’ve done is be one hundred percent me. It’s not my fault if people don’t have taste.”

“I like that attitude,” Saira said, “and I’ve got a feeling more than one person will fair better for thinking like that.”

“Babe,” Dana said, “imagine all the secrets that are gonna come out from this?”

With a shrug, Saira kept her lips zipped. Surprises were in store, and karma was checking them out.

As is the way, everyone had to find their partner to film the run out of the Villa, so Saira had Nicolas’ hand as they exited. She held it the entire way to the challenge area, pretending her hands weren’t clammy and sweaty. Nicolas held onto her, but already all those sweet moments in Casa Amor seemed so far away, a distance between them growing that she couldn’t explain.

Lights, Camera, Action. It was challenge time.

For this one, they were split up into two groups, with one of each couple in each team. Saira was in the red team with Alfie, Suresh, Arlo, and Gabi. A particularly cruel combo of teammates that only served to further the narrative of victimhood. Whoever was pulling the strings sure wanted to keep her in discomfort at every turn.

Hosting duties fell to Kat and Finn; the Island's answer to Phil and Holly.

“All right, Islanders, are we ready?” Kat hollered out, putting on her hostess voice, clearly taking this duty seriously. “The aim of the game today is to score as many points as you can for your team. How the game works is, Finn and I will read out a headline or a tweet. Who the caption is about has been blanked out, and you have to guess which Islander you think is missing.”

“Now, before you all start chucking out names,” Finn said, grinning broader than the Cheshire Cat, “first, you’re gonna chuck some drinks. That’s right! When it’s your turn to guess, you come over to the bar and collect one of these brightly coloured cocktails, and you throw it in the face of whoever you think the caption is about! This is sure to make things far more Finn-teresting.”

This perked Saira up after the blow of her teammates reveal. She’d savour each and every throw of the drinks, even if she wasn’t the one chucking it in someone’s face. 

“First up, Alfie, mate,” Finn went on, throwing one arm out to welcome Alfie up to the stage.

Alfie jogged up with a grin on his face, standing between the large podium Kat and Finn were behind and the bar with the vast array of different cocktail glasses, each glass as broad in shape as they were in colour.

“You ready?” Kat asked.

Alfie stood, swinging his arms back and forth, clapping when they landed in front of him. He cracked his neck from side to side. “Ready, geezer. Let's do this.”

Kat held up a speech bubble shaped piece of plastic twice the size of her head. It looked heavy, and was bulky enough to be a bit difficult to manoeuvre holding it up so everyone could see, and actually managing to read it at the same time.

Ever the soldier, Kat overcame her struggle, reading, “From user ChronicComicObsession ‘Blank gonna be pied the minute her back is turned now they’re back from Casa Amor’.”

The low ‘ooft’ from the Islanders was mirrored in Alfie’s face. He screwed his lips into a tight ‘oh’ as he scanned the other’s, his brows furrowed. They lingered heavily on Suresh for longer than anyone else, flickering back up at Saira sat next to him like he was connecting the dots.

Biting his lip, Alfie grabbed one of the martini glasses and headed to the other team. On his way over, Lulu frowned, whipping her fingers to latch onto her nose as those around her dived out the way. “Sorry, Love,” Alfie said with a small, apologetic tilt of his head. He waited until her eyes were sealed shut before chucking the liquid in her face.

Ripples of shocked laughter rang through everyone besides Lulu, who wiped the blue water from her eyes with particular vigour, and Suresh, whose jaw was set tight. The way he refused to look around at Saira made her think he was avoiding her gaze on purpose.

Alfie jogged back to his spot for the reveal. A gleeful Kat held the board up like she was showing off the Queen Jewels while Finn revealed how spot on Alfie’s guess was.

“So, let’s see.” He wiped back the bright pink tape, reading out, “Dana gonna be pied the minute her back is turned now that they’re back from Casa Amor.”

If the ‘oohs’ had been anything when Alfie picked Lulu, they were double that now, as Dana sat there on the opposite bench left to pick up her jaw off the now sticky floor.

Gabi shook her head. She shouted over at Dana. “Guess we’ll just have to prove them wrong, babe.”

“Meera, babe, you’re up next,” Kat said, still sniggering away.

Meera waltzed her beautiful self up in place of Alfie, who came back to his team's bench with his hands still covering his mouth like he couldn’t believe he’d thrown a drink in an innocent girl's face, only to be wrong. He muttered out a quiet, “Savage.”

“It’s a Headline this time,” Finn said, holding up one of the plastic planks now. This one was a horizontally slanted rectangle. “Love Island’s Eddie reveals the shocking truth about Blank’s secret game plan.”

Less elated, the ‘ohh’s this time around were filled with suspicion and ire, shifty eyes on more than one person snaking the others. Meera wasted little time. Throwing her hair over her shoulder, she picked a pretty decently filled glass and marched over to the opposite team’s bench.

Saira sunk into her shoulders as the padding of Meera’s feet on the decking got closer. She got a flash of shocked looks off the other islanders before Meera stopped before her. Already Arlo was diving out of the splash zone, but on Saira’s other side, Suresh didn’t flinch.

“You’ve got to be joking, right?” He scoffed.

Sounding pretty hard done by, Meera said, “I have to pick someone.”

“Literally pick anyone else, then.”

“Fine,” she replied, and without any further warning, she swilled the glass in Suresh’s face.

Arlo screeched with mirth, kicking her feet repeatedly against the decking, a reaction not that far off of everyone else. Suresh hitched his jaw as he wiped his eyes of any excess liquid, his neck a darker shade than before. Saira could feel the steam rising off of him.

Again, he was refusing to look her way, so she wasn’t sure how to go about moving on. He was clearly pissed, but he had just defended her. Tentatively, she placed her hand on his arm, and she said, “Thank you.”

He whipped his head to her.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she added.

In an instant, she felt him soften; the tension dissipated, replacing within Saira a new nervousness. She quickly focused on the stage, where Kat was about to reveal the culmination of Eddie’s scheming.

“Love Island’s Eddie reveals the shocking truth of Nicolas’ secret game plan.”

Heads swivelled over to see his reaction. He was shaking his head profusely, and Saira half expected to hear him spluttering as he launched out a, “That’s bullshit!”

“Hey, if Eddie said it, it's got to be true,” Kat commented, rolling her eyes. Already she had the next tweet in her hands. She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’m bored of that drama. I want the next! Here is a tweet from bubblelaureno: ‘Never seen anyone as bored with their partner as Blank.’”

“Yikes,” Finn said. “Cardinal sin, being boring. Speaking of boring bastards, Suresh, get up here. This one’s for you.” Finn finished with a wink and a finger gun at Suresh.

Thunder was crackling over Suresh again as he stormed on up to the stage, glaring at Finn like he hoped he’d be struck down by lightning there and then. Without stopping, the cheers and encouragement from the red team at his heels, Suresh strode right up to the bar, effortlessly picked up a fish bowl, and had it upturned over Finn’s head in a flash.

Finn hadn’t flinched, and was grinning broadly as he pulled back the curtain of his sopping wet hair. He threw his hands up in celebration. “That wasn’t so bad,” he said cheerfully, lapping up the applause of the others for being a good sport about it.

The sole person among them who took issue with this was Kat, who stood back with a face like thunder. The look she was firing at Finn was like she was trying to burn a hole into the back of his head.

“Wonder if you’d be as cocky if this was about me being bored with you,” she shot at him.

He turned with a start, like he was just realising who his partner was, and exactly the sort of attitude they’d have over this drama. “Ah, come on, Kat, it’s the opinion of one person. You can’t let it get you down. Besides, I've got to be the least boring person to come onto this show.”

This did nothing to quell Kat. She huffed heavily before ripping the pink tape off, not giving Finn a chance. Her eyes doubled as Finn’s name was revealed, before drawing into thin slits.

If Saira was Finn, she’d be a little bit terrified, but Finn just barked out a laugh, and played it off like a joke. Saira sat with her fingers over her mouth, her legs crossed tight, as she swayed nervously on the spot. How long would it take for this game to reveal what Finn had confessed to her the other night?

He had feelings for Saira, not Kat. This whole thing was just ramping up to get messier and messier.

“First point of the game goes to the red team!” Finn announced, “Lulu, get your lovely self up here. This next one's for you. Another headline, this one reads: ‘Love Lie-land: Viewers claim Blank is faking relationship.’”

Lulu bit her lip, looking genuinely torn over this. For the first time in the game, it took shouts and encouragement from her team before a decision was made, and it had more than a few eyebrows raised as Meera, Nicolas, Pete, and Dana all offered up the other Islander’s name into the ring.

In the end, Lulu chose a margarita glass and ended up before her own partner. “I’m sorry, babe. I’m not doing this with any hard feelings.”

Suresh gave an incredibly forced smile. It pulled thin over his features, more a grimace than a good time. “I’ve told you how I feel,” he said pointedly.

“And I’m still standing here.”

Not for long. She waited until he closed his eyes, and was already marching guiltily back to the stage as Suresh wiped his face with a hefty sigh. The sniggering from the others only stopped once the tape was pulled back, revealing Meera.

Her jaw dropped, and Saira had to admit that it felt good to see the haughtiness she’d returned with taken down a peg. Vindication and all that.

“Alfie, mate, how are you feeling?” Finn called out across the challenge area.

Saira watched him carefully, taking in the shake of his head as he assured them all, “It’s all good, mate. I know what we’ve got, and I know Meera better than any fools watching.”

Hope that feeling lasts, Saira thought, her gaze still laying into him. His smile dropped the moment the heat of the spotlight did, affirming Saira’s suspicions that he didn’t believe what he said. Game face, on.

Like that, it was Saira’s turn. She begged and pleaded and would have fallen on her knees for a juicy tweet. She needed it.

“‘Saira,” Kat read out, eyes twinkling her way, “needs to get her act together and stop giving Blank the time of day because it’s always bitch o’clock for him’. God, I could have written this one, but it’s from user Nqueso-emergency.”

This brought a lot of grinning, some tittering, and all eyes on Saira. She bit her lip, realising there was more than one person who’d qualify here. Her team was a point ahead. Not a great lead, but at the end of the day, what did she care for more? What would the win for the team get them compared to her own self-satisfaction in throwing a drink in the face of someone who really deserved it?

And who was it that deserved it the most? Alfie had left her out to dry, always playing hot and cold, acting like it was much harder having Suresh in the Villa for him as opposed to it being harder for Saira, but how did that compare to Suresh? He’d cheated. He’d lied. He’d schemed his way back into her life. He made sure he was present so she couldn’t move on even if she wanted to. He’d hurt and betrayed her and left her out to dry more times than she could count.

But it was Suresh. There was a reason he was still there, and a reason Saira was, too. A reason neither of them had left. Maybe Alfie had been more right than Saira had realised.

With a hearty sigh, Saira headed to the bar. She pulled a little cocktail umbrella from a blue lagoon and tucked it over her ear before selecting a fishbowl.

Finn clapped eagerly as Kat and the other girls cackled, all eyes on her as she headed to the end of her own team’s bench where Suresh and Alfie were lumped together, eyes on her warily, trying to size up who she was going to pick. Some things never change.

Saira had to be careful about this. She had to angle it just right.

She launched, covering not one guy, but two. She managed to drench the both of them, leaving them both spluttering out the cold water. Oh yeah, that felt good.

Saira stepped back, her tongue sitting just against her top lip, like all she wanted was to lick up this delicious moment, but was trying her best to hold back.

Amongst all the laughter and the hooting, Nicolas managed to ask, “Yeah, but who did you pick?”

“Oh, I picked Suresh,” Saira said, doing her best to keep her shit-eating grin at bay. “Was that not clear?”

“It’s been clear since the start,” Alfie said bitterly, but when she spun to throw him a look, his eyes were on the ground, a hard look on his face, like he was trying to hide his real feelings as well. She saw right through it, seeing that it was the truth in his eyes, and it was a truth that was hurting him.

Well, he hurt her first, and they were far from even.

“Come on, lads, be a good sport, there you go,” Finn grinned. He ripped back the tape over the tweet, and it was Suresh’s named, and Suresh who shook his head ashamed.

“I’m doing my best,” he said once Saira sat back down next to him. Nicolas made his way up to the stage in her wake. “This isn’t an easy situation for me to navigate either.”

“But you signed up for it,” she fired back. “I never did.”

“Headlines time again, so, Nick Nickety Nicolas,” Finn went on with his usual boisterous presence, “‘Love Island viewers in a furor over two-face Blank talking Alfie into recoupling, only to graft Saira the minute he got back into the Villa.”

Eyes: wide. Jaws: on the floor.

The game was up immediately, as a stunned Alfie shot Finn a look like he had no idea who his friend was anymore. Kat cottoned on to that look, her own stunned and seething glare digging into a rapidly deteriorating Finn. He was getting a sweat on, his usually white self glowing as red as his hair.

“Oh, whoa,” Nicolas said, and after flickering between Alfie and Finn and the obvious tension there, he stared straight at Saira. “Were you ever planning on telling me?”

Sorry, what? Saira couldn’t believe it. Someone else was unfaithful, but she was the one in the hot seat. No, no, of course! She should have expected this! How else was this going to play out? Finn the notorious skirt chaser grafts after growing bored with someone he claims is clingy, and naturally it’s Saira’s fault.

“I’d like to think that telling me would be higher on the priority list than telling some guy you just met, Sai,” Kat dug, looking pretty hurt, something Saira could admit was marginally more justifiable.

“Before we start pointing fingers, how about we wait until the judge has ruled?” Suresh said coolly. “Go throw your drink at the actual person you should be pissed at, Nicolas.”

Something was swelling within Saira and she didn’t like it. She had to concentrate to pull her eyes off the back of Suresh’s head as Nicolas launched his drink in Finn’s face. This time around, Finn was much more resigned to his fate, taking it less like a champ, and more like someone who wanted to clear their conscience.

“I think Alfie should have been allowed to chuck that one,” Arlo said.

“Really?” Kat snipped. “I think that’s an honour that should be mine.”

Finn kept his head low, turned away as Kat ripped the tape off so hard he almost dropped the plastic board. As his name was revealed, Kat growled. Saira thought she might hit him, but she stomped around him, storming off the set.

Finn’s wide eyes followed her as Dana, Meera, and the other girls called after her. Kat didn’t get far. She grabbed a cocktail. The first one within reach. She fired it at Finn from where she stood, barely spilling a drop as fury screwed up her expression.

“Thanks for telling me, Saira!” She shot out as she blazed back behind the podium, keeping a wide berth between herself and Finn.

“Ah, Kat, darling, don’t blame Saira,” he said. “She was waiting for me to tell you herself.”

“And what were you gonna tell her, mate?” Alfie called out.

Finn’s shoulders sagged the moment he looked at Alfie. “Alfie, mate, it wasn’t anything personal. I didn’t give you the advice to split you up and swoop in. It just happened. Do you really think I’ve got a conniving bone in my body?”

“If you’d have asked me that when I woke up…”

Up next, Arlo got a tweet from user thesepromises that kept the temperature in the red zone for Kat and Finn (‘How clingy is Blank? The more she’s on Blank the more I’m screaming at him to abort! ABORT ABORT!). After guessing right and chucking a drink at Kat and a bonus at Finn, Pete walked up to take his turn.

Much to his chagrin, the headline was about him and Arlo, reading out fully: ‘Love Island viewers claim Pete is settling for Arlo to get into the Villa’. His guesses being Dana and Gabi earned the blue’s no points and some crusty looks from the girls for his efforts.

Last for the red team, Gabi was up. Finn read out, “From user PearlBracelet: ‘At this point Blank should just couple up with the narrator and keep the 50k to herself at the end’.”

To Saira’s surprise, when the swilling came, this pretty positive one ended up in her face. Gabi winked at her as she went back to the stage, something that left Saira as fuming as she was smug.

Not as smug as she was when Gabi was revealed to be right. Saira had never considered her options outwith the Islanders, but she found herself thinking that maybe she should give the illusive narrator a go. Only if he was over his crush on Youcef first, though. She didn’t want to compete with a French model after everything else she’d been through.

Last, and a case could be made for least, Dana came up for the last tweet of the game.

“‘Blank you’re too good for that whole villa’.” Kat read out, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “From BakerBoi95 - holy shit, that’s Bobby McKenzie!”

If the tweet itself wasn’t juicy enough, that it came from the most popular Islader ever to be on the show certainly sweetened the deal.

The last Islander to get anything thrown in their face was Saira, once again. Though out of every single swill she could have got, this was the one she didn’t mind in the least. The madness she was enduring wasn’t normal, and she had everyone who was sitting at home watching this going on in her corner.

When her name was revealed one last and final time, the vindication that swept through her felt like rain on her skin after a heatwave; justice like she had never known. The others could swing whatever shit they had at her all day long, but this quiet and small reassurance that she wasn’t doing anything wrong was everything she needed.

The red team won, but it was Saira who came out truly victorious.

Note: there is a sequel in works, but no word on when it will be out.

#litg #love island the game #litg writers room #writers room #litg suresh #litg alfie #litg fanfic #litg season 5 #litg ex #prompt #asks #litg ex in the villa #litg eitv

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: How To Train Your Dragon

Fucking FINALLY I can gush about this goddamn MASTERPIECE of a fucking movie, and the source of my newest obsession cause oh my god, ya'll oh my god this FRANCHISE is RUINING ME and it may not be why I decided to understake this entire Dreamworks watch to begin with (for better or worse, but worth it to get to watch through this trilogy again).

We focus on Hiccup, a young viking who's out of place among the other dragon-killing vikings on Berk, especially his stern father, Stoick. During a dragon raid one night, Hiccup accidentally shoots down a Night Fury, said to be one of the most dangerous dragons of all. Slowly but surely, however, Hiccup secretly befriends this dragon, which he names Toothless, while in the midst of dragon hunting training alongside Berk's other young vikings, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut.

So this story is so damn good, so fucking good, its so simple, so rooted in the emotions of it all, of Hiccup being torn between wanting to live up to his father's expectations while also growing closer with Toothless and coming to sympathize with dragons in general. As a result, we get some of the strongest emotional highs and lows in really any Dreamworks movie, and it all works so well and flows so beautifully. In fact, this story doesn't even need an antagonist like its two sequels do (i mean it kind of has one in the Red Death, but its more an obstacle to be taken out above all else), it's source of conflict really is what I just described above and it's so well-crafted on every level.

Hell, everything about this movie is. The characters are all phenomenal, it's not wonder this spawned two sequels and several shows (you should watch Riders/Defenders of Berk and Race to the Edge btw, they're great). Hiccup is one of Dreamworks' best leads by far, a genuis little ball of sass who is just as loyal as he is stubborn. The other teens don't get a ton of focus here, but Astrid does, and she's great, starting out as our usual Dreamworks tough gal before eventually softening up to Hiccup heading into the third act. Also, can I just talk about Stoick for a sec? They could have done this man so dirty, could have made him the usual angry father who doesn't understand or care about his son, but he isn't. He cares so damn much about Hiccup, and it shows, even if he claims to be embarassed by him, even if he seems like he wants him to change, he still loves his son to hell and back (which makes what happens in the second movie so much more tragic, but we'll get to that). And then of course, there's Toothless, who is just... absolute Baby. I love how catlike he is, and how, much like Hiccup, he's also kind of a sassy little shit in his own special way.

The animation, golly, its so pretty, The flying scenes are this franchise's bread and butter and they are just a delight to watch. The character designs are some of Dreamworks' best, especially on the Dragons. They all look so unque and have their own little quirks that make them all special. Toothless especially is animated so well. They give him these cat-like mannerisms that bring so much charm to a character that doesn't speak a single word. It's fantastic.

You know what else is fantastic about this movie? THE MUSIC OH MY GOD. This may just be the single greatest score in ANY Dreamworks movie. It's GOD TIER GOOD. The entire franchise has amazing music, but most of the themes that repeat throughout the next two movies started here and they're all so beautiful. Seriously, give this score a listen if you haven't, its just... amazing.

The whole movie is amazing! I honest to god love everything about it so much. It's such a strong start to what I think is Dreamworks' greatest franchise, to a world and characters that I am literally obsessed with now send help, and to a series that I'm so very excited to be revisiting for this watch through. Please, if you've never seen How to Train Your Dragon, do yourself a favor and watch it now. You will not be sorry.

Overall Rating: 10/10

Verdict: (gestures vaguely at Hiccup) LOOK AT MY SON

Previous Review (Monsters Vs. Aliens)

Next Review (Shrek Forever After)

#jen watches #how to drain your dragon #jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie ever #dreamworks watch #dreamworks

[irelandseyeonmythology]

I love how the Celtic Mythology TV Tropes page went from "Relatively accurate (after I worked hard to revise it)" to "Filled with disinformation thanks to a couple of overly active users + cracks about the pronunciation system (that aren't even accurate)"

...they were saying that "Bres" should be pronounced "Bresh."

...There is a reason why "Bres" is spelled "Breas" in modern Irish -- that is a BROAD "es", not a palatal, the palatal "s" sound "sh" does NOT apply.

It's. It's "Brigit." The name. "Brigit." She is usually called. "Brigit." In pretty much all medieval sources. Or "Bríg." Neither of which. Is...

He. He isn't confused with Eber Donn. He IS Eber Donn. Where are you getting this stuff? Where is he the son of the Dagda? Were you actually high when you wrote this?

Is the Dagda. Kind. Is he really? Or is that a headcanon to fit a specific image. Of the Dagda? (Who, in at least one story, requires multiple TWs for what he allows one of his sons to do?)

We have literally as much evidence for Tethra and Manannán being boyfriends as we have for them being on opposite ends of the war, aka none. Assuming that they're on opposite ends of the war assumes that Manannán gives a single flying fuck about the war in the first place.

Nodens is put alongside the Tuatha Dé.

Is Danu. Any of these things. Is she? (This is after I had to remove a reference to Peter Beresford Ellis' bogus "creation myth.") The previous entry discussed her ambiguity as a figure/the very real possiblity that she was never WORSHIPPED as a deity.

Not shown: The entry on Cernunnos, which said he was worshipped in IRELAND.

The entry for Branwen, that claims that she's a Welsh love goddess (?) (There is not much love in her story.) (I would not even say there is much lust.)

"Because he is a cunt."

(Is he unique? Is he really? Because there are a LOT of hot Fomoire when you think about it.) (Also...where is Elatha's sense of humor? It is non-existent.)

Really. Is that why Conchobar does it? Is that really why he does it?

Unless it is not out of character (otherwise there are a LOT of Out Of Character Conchobars) so much as a different writer (likely from Connacht) having a different take on a complex character with a complex legacy. (Who is established in the Táin as being pretty useless, tbh.) (Like, where are these "in character" Conchobars that you speak of?)

...that. Is not. How you pronounce "Fionn" with that spelling. (It's "fee-on.")

Is that what happened? I just, I just don't remember. My memory of Cath Maige Tuired is so weak that the bit where the TDD elected Bres for his beauty slipped my mind. Could anyone pull up that bit for me? Along with the bit where he helped the Fomoire invade Ireland while he was king? I just, I don't know, I'm new to this, and the language is so arcane, so obscure, I just don't remember it.

#long post #i'm tempted to assign it as extra credit to my students #'if you can prove that you made one positive edit to this page' #'i will give you bonus points'

[sapphire-weapon]

4make player -> Finally into SW as a birthday treat, the sheer joy of Ada having a story of her own story! OG SW was wild, it was literally just the main campaign from a different camera angle lmfao, but she actually has her own thing now and it's very enjoyable.

Re: "Ada didn't mean it when she said to leave Ashley"... ohhh my god, she DID! I wasn't expecting that, especially because it also has context and an understandable (yet unjustified) motive. My interpretation (atm) tells me she's projecting a whole load of shit onto the people around her, Leon especially. She only calls him about her location because Wesker pissed her off lmao! Was surprised that she seemed less than happy when she had first spotted him too, and also not giving a flying shit about saving his life when it came to the amber lmao! Last note: Luis x Ada is going STRONG in my mind rn. I thought it was some meme this whole time but jesus christ the tension, common regrets and bonding??? Tell me there's nothing there, I dare anyone rn. The fact that LUIS, of all people, has had the best sexual and romatic tension with Ada Wong to date is abysmally hilarious to me.

this right here:

was the single most shocking moment in all of RE4make to me.

you know how, at the end of OG, ada pushes the button to activate the timers on the detonators for the bombs around the island? and leon just stands there in shock and is like "she really pushed it"?

me, hearing ada say that ^^ in RE4make had me with the exact same reaction. "they (capcom) really killed it (aeon)."

because in the main campaign, yeah, using knowledge from OG, you think that ada's coldness is insincere and she really does care; you can make a pretty decent case that she's just pushing down her very real feelings for leon just for the sake of her mission.

but when she said THAT^^?

dude, like

lmao

OG ada: we have to get that parasite out of your body. remake ada: why the fuck should i give a shit if he has a parasite lmao don't make his problems my problems he ain't pay my bills

curious to see if your projection interpretation sticks around, because i thought so too at first, but i'm not so sure anymore.

[bardicbeetle]

sitd snips - the frustrating ordeal of the monstrous being human

Can I ask you something?

It takes Isaac three hours to send the text and the second he does he can’t stop moving.

He paces the house until his uncle shouts up the stairs to cut it the hell out because he’s disturbing customers. When that happens he climbs out onto the fire escape and makes his way into the street. He can’t sit still.

He can’t let himself think.

What do you need, Red Cross?

Fuck, fuck the wave of relief that comes with Daniel’s response is more than it should be.

He can’t take three more hours to form another non-question.

He needs to do this face to face so he can stop being a coward.

If I ask to meet somewhere, will you come?

Isaac walks fast, he’s halfway to Battery Park by the time he gets a response.

Depends, social or hostile?

Reading it startles a laugh out of him, he supposes he can’t blame Daniel for asking.

Still up for debate. Lets assume social. Sure. Just tell me where.

People walk past this section of the park often enough, even at night. Isaac takes a seat on the wall that overlooks waterfront park and the lake below. He waits. Tries to breathe.

He does not expect to see Daniel within a couple of minutes.

And yet…

“Isaac.” He still can’t figure out if it’s unsettling or just annoying that Daniel is so… normal. That he’s just some guy.

“Hi,” it’s stiff and his throat is tightening again. He can’t keep putting this off. “I—”

“—Let’s walk.” Daniel says, cutting gently over Isaac’s words before they start. “If you’re anything like me the stillness is driving you up the—literal—wall.”

Isaac tries not to think about the fact that he’s entirely correct. Bites back an insistent immediate urge to spit I’m nothing like you. Because he knows it’s not really true.

He slides off the wall and falls in step beside Daniel.

And they walk in silence towards the lake.

Daniel doesn’t speak, doesn’t press, he’s watching the street while they walk. Cars fly past at twice the speed limit because they think nobody is out to see them. Drunk college students and people on bikes and the occasional passerby with a dog.

“Why didn’t you die?”

Why the fuck does that make him smile?

“Because Alex didn’t ask me to.” He says it so easily, like it was always going to be that simple. “Remind me why you aren’t dead.”

Isaac grits his teeth.

“I don’t need to.”

“Right, you called me out here to ask a single question, get an answer you already knew, and now you’re satisfied.” Daniel shakes his head, “Isaac I would sooner believe you telling me Alex hadn’t been drinking your blood again.”

“Fine!” Isaac snaps, stopping abruptly. They’ve hit the edge of the water. “Why did you save my life? Why did you stop Alex from killing me? Why did you give me your blood? Why are you so fucking human?” He has to pause, has to remember to breathe, has to—shit, he hadn’t meant to do it like this. “I shouldn’t be talking to you, I shouldn’t be talking to Alex, I should have just left you that last bit of blood and forgotten about all of this, I should have said no when you asked for my help—”

“—What do you want, Isaac.” Daniel halts his increasingly frantic words. "Want my life story? An excuse to kill me? Or Alex? An excuse not to?”

“I want my choices to make fucking sense again!” He’s shaking now, properly. “I want to stop spending every second playing a game of how much am I willing to push my own rules.” He stops, glaring at Daniel who is still frustratingly at ease. “And I want you to stop looking at me like you’ve crawled inside my fucking head.”

@cjjameswriting / @falling-rivers / @maabonwrites / @blve0 / @inexorableblob / @blueberrypoptart / @betwixtofficial / @drowsy-quill / @ezwriting / @ofinscriptions / @vaguelyhumanekid / @meatandboneasmr / @h-faith-marr-writeblr / @necros-writings / @poetinprose / @flyingbananasaur / @oldestenemy / @multi-lefaiye / @dotr-rose-love / @abalonetea / @albatris / @incandescent-creativity / @kaiusvnoir /

#writeblr #writeblr community #vampire writeblr #writers on tumblr #bardicbeetle #sitd #safe in the dark #character ref da #character ref ir #lsdente #my writing #sitdsnips

[dyonoi]

I'm not sure if you even look at this blog anymore, but I just wanted to say I MISS YOU!! I still look through your old meta posts and art every few months and while I know you prob won't come back to the fandom, a part of me still hopes it! I guess I was curious to know how you're doing, and whether you've gotten into any other fandoms and ships? You were really fun and if there's something else you're into and writing for I would love to follow you into it!! <3

god this feels like the worst anime timeskip episode. hey there, its been a while. surprised theres people still around who remember. in the past 4??? years i guess ive done some shit, yeah. cliffnotes: finally closed the long distance and moved in with my SO, became a stoner, found the perfect physical art medium for me and have been busy becoming IG famous 💅 and actually making a living off it, and most importantly i have a cat now. he's a manx cat with a little bunny tail and he is so unlike any other cat ive interacted with. he has absolutely no style, no grace. he constantly trips over nothing. cannot jump higher than 2 feet, will gently catch bugs and then lets them fly away, is literally incapable of feeling anger (the sole exception is if you blow air on his feet. this makes him so angry so fast for whatever reason and its hilarious to witness) ive only heard him hiss twice in the past 4 years. anyway things could always be better but lifes pretty good.

as for other media ive gotten into? uh, the truth is i have a VERY muted relationship with media at this point. i dont run any secret fandom blogs. to be honest, i probably will never allow myself to become even nearly as entangled with a fandom ever again as much as i did with homestuck. for all the fun i had, i was WAY too active in it to the point where it was frankly unhealthy and being candid, it played a big role in me stagnating as a human being for a good year or two. the amount of opinionated bullshit i was spewing 24/7 for years predictably made me a target for people who disagreed and wanted to bring me down a peg, warranted or not, and as thick skinned as i am it did eventually start stressing me out and making me act like a loon. thankfully most of this was in private but it still happened, if you know you know. ive alluded to the reason why i got like that, but putting that much energy and faith into a single author to the extent i did is a recipe for ruin on multiple fronts.

hs was a painful lesson in that most shit just…sucks, and even if something starts out great, the chances that the author will stop giving a shit, fuck it up for the ending or even just straight up die is decently high lol and its something you should always have in the back of your mind. (guess which dumbass started reading berserk in late 2020) this was made way worse by hussie just… being an unrepentant fucking asshole. in hindsight this wasnt a shocking reveal but the hopium that theyd make it right in the end was too strong for all of us. i could have forgiven them losing interest as an artist due to general life hardships, but in the end they ditched it after pissing on it and then setting it on fire. so much of hs's success was on the back of fan media and when your finale in return is to salt the earth to the point where no one gives a fuck about it anymore, even the people who liked the tail end petered out pretty quickly too on that. just….eugh. i have permanent media trust issues.

even in the rare instances where something good ends up canon, even if the premise and buildup is great, the fandom surrounding it will pontificate a combined million hours and 9 times out of 10 will write them better than the author ever will. its sad in a way, but its the truth.

i still think davekat is great, once in a while ill look over my folder of it and my art and smile like an old lady looking over a dusty family photo album. the dynamic is rock solid, and if you agree my advice is to steal them. just steal them. call them doug and kevin and export them into your original story. they deserved better, and you will probably do a better job anyway.

media i AM interacting with (lightly) is one piece again. NONE of you bitches that read the entirety of homestuck have any room to complain about how long it is. i have a lot of problems with it (read: sanji) but in general its pretty fun and enough to sink your teeth into. sidenote i have been shipping luffy/zoro since two thousand fucking six and its a testament to my unending great taste that it was and still is an excellent ship. though i have a curse of somehow always ending up in fandom c-tier ships in terms of popularity like that LOL i got memed into watching bnha (DONT LAUGH) and my ship of choice, todobaku? an absolutely hilarious dynamic and a total banger. but yet another c-tier. after being spoiled with davekat content domination for years this sucks haha

[fierceawakening]

@notthateither (I think that's your username) I keep meaning to come back to your post on what we agree with and what we don't, and I keep getting distracted by various shiny things. So I'll just say:

Starting off, if you're cool with people transitioning even though you don't understand it and maybe even find it weird or, hell, maybe even a bit scary, then I'm cooler with you than I am with a lot of people. I believe creating the least oppressive world possible involves giving people freedom to make decisions for what we think are bad reasons, so If you're doing that, we're broadly aligned in political terms even if I don't like some of what you believe. (An example for me here? I'm deeply troubled by "I wouldn't have an abortion if my fetus were "normal," but I would if there was evidence of disability." I think that's very, very often going to be influenced by growing up in an ableist society and is rarely going to be about realistic expectations. But a world in which women are forced to carry to term is a more oppressive one than one where they are not, so I cannot stop someone even if I'm 100% certain that is her only reason.)

But as for where our beliefs differ and why, I'd say the core of it is that radical feminism often asserts things about men and/or males (not defining these here although to me they are different; it's not relevant to the point I'm making) are particularly dangerous, threatening, or destructive. I worry that singling out a group of humans and calling them the source of destructiveness is wrongheaded, and in fact the first step on a very long yellow brick road to fascist thinking.

It's not just that I think trans women aren't men, that there's a relevant difference between sex characteristics and social role (though I do indeed think that.)

It's that even if I DID literally see trans women as "males who wish to be women," and this switch as something that people can only sort of do and never manage completely, I still don't see how that's something inherently wrong to want, or that there's something suspicious about people wanting it. It's maybe a little weirder than "I was a stamp collector, but now I want to be a skydiver," but it's that sort of thing. There's nothing inherently untoward about it.

Body modification should be undergone after a great deal of thought. But most humans fly by the seat of their pants a lot, much more than I generally do or generally understand. I used to think it was my job to warn them against this, but... now I don't. People who live high risk, high reward lives are allowed to do so. All that's necessary is that they acknowledge and own the risks they take, and not blame it on other people if those risks are presented to them truthfully and without spin.

(And hell, I'm one of the most cautious, risk averse humans I have ever met, and MY medical-reasons, justified-to-most modifications went wildly wrong. Sometimes stuff really is just life being fucked up and not making sense.)

Why do we have gender? I don't know. I suspect it's a mix of nature and nurture, social factors and vague, difficult to pin down biological ones too. I don't know that I'll ever know for sure.

What I do know is that the oppressive stuff I've seen seems to happen, and really mess people up, when they're demanded to fit into one box and not another. I'm not sure what abolishing gender would mean or would look like, or how we'd make sure we do it justly, but I do know that letting people be is something I can do right here and now, and something I can encourage others to do, and a thing that seems, from the evidence we have, to help most of the time.

Which is why I'm not... well, I'd say why I'm not "gender critical" but it feels very weird to think of myself as not critical of gender when what I mean is the much weaker not sure we should abolish it. So instead of saying why I'm not GC I'll phrase it as "why I'm not a radical feminist."

Fair?

[folklauerate]

I think I might be the worst fic writer in the world bc I do not know how to add my fics to collections (other then the Employed Tom Dorset one I quite literally moderate) to increase readership and more to that matter I don’t give a single flying fuck about readership or “engagement” or “how a fic performs” anymore 😭 caring about that is a TRAP and it takes away from actual enjoyment of creating something out of love and for the sake of creating it and because the idea keeps you up in the middle of the night and finds you on long drives and won’t go away until you put pen to paper and the cursor on the page and write it down. Writing to try and please the audience you cannot see and who doesn’t exist and is a figment of your imagination is a surefire way to make you hate yourself when something doesn’t “do” the way you think it will and damn we need to move away from language around “performance” when it comes to fanfiction entirely. Fanfiction exists outside the capitalist economy, it is one of the true joyful beautiful wonderful acts of creating just to create that cannot be monetized and that’s so damn important to me.

At the end of the day I am quite literally only ever really writing for myself. I write what I want how I want when I want and hit post. I have opinions on my own writing and think some wips are shittier than others because I wrote them fast and dirty and didn’t give a flying fuck about editing or whatever, I just wanted it out and done. It’s nice when my friends read it and care, I like having the opinions of people whose work I respect as well. It’s always flattering when other people I don’t know read it and strangers leave comments or people send anons and DMs. It’s an absolute mind fuck to think people are discussing words I wrote amongst themselves and not involving me but it’s gratifying to hear because the work did what it was supposed to do; it was scraped out of a part of me and put out into the world and became whatever it needed to become for the person reading it, and that’s cool but also I can’t think about that without it getting overwhelming a little bit, I can’t.

All that to say… fuck a fic collection I “should” be putting works in and fuck a “time” to post and fuck “engagement” and fuck it all to hell. I write to soothe the gremlin inside me who lives under a bridge like a troll in a fairytale and I’m really better for it 😭

#fanfiction #just some thoughts I had while perusing a fic #I was like #damn baby what collections could this work possibly be in #this fic is so new #what collections? #and I knew it wasn’t written for a week or something #so then I clicked and I spiraled a little and pulled myself back #outside approval is always nice but it cannot be the axis upon which your fanfiction writing turns #it must always be the wine pairing to an already full meal

[rjalker]

"how dare you, and autistic cane user, tell me, an autistic cane user, that I should want wheelchair users to have equal rights! I will now post the uncensored R-slur on your post because I think I am the victim here on a post that has literally nothing to do with me that is literally just saying that wheelchair users should be allowed to exist in public! Since I do not give a single flying shit about solidarity, I will assume that you must be a wheelchair user because only wheelchair users would defend wheelchair users because i, an autistic cane user, cannot fucking imagine defending anyone who is not exactly like me. Oh and I will of course assume that you are also not autistic or a cane user and were never called the R slur because anyone who's not like me is BAD so I have to assume that because I do not like you that means that you must be different from me!!!"

[lonesomedreamer]

SNW Liveblog: “Among the Lotus Eaters”

In which they’re mean to Spock for no reason, but Spock helps save the day anyway.

In its own way, this is scene just as staged/cheesy as anything in TOS…it’s also giving NBC Hannibal (not a compliment from me).

Look: I just don’t care about the supposedly corrupt bureaucracy and chain of command in Starfleet. When I watch Trek, I want to escape into a post-scarcity utopian society, and nuTrek can pry that out of my cold, dead hands!!!

Other things I don’t care about: Pike’s on-again, off-again relationship with Batel. Sorry. This show already has too many characters vying for screentime with too few episodes to develop them to be wasting time on this.

Love that Pike makes sure to put out the candles before he leaves…meanwhile his quarters has a huge, open fireplace that burns 24/7.

Not that everything they do on the Enterprise isn’t science-related, but… “science specialist”? Do you guys even WATCH the show??? Gold is for the command division, red is for operations/engineering, and BLUE IS FOR SCIENCE! At least pretend to give a shit about your show’s own universe. (Oh…wait…)

“Most of the time I fly the ship, which is cool, but can get boring.” Speaking for all the kids (and adults!) who have fantasized about flying the Enterprise for the last 55 years: kindly fuck off.

“Can’t you just say ‘two moons’?” / “We get it, Spock.” Spock is the science officer (and ALSO Vulcan). Get off his back!!! His SNW crewmates nitpick him worse than Bones ever did.

I don’t like Ortegas much—she’s still written like garbage, no fault of the actor—and her perpetual bitchiness towards Spock is NOT helping.

“Doctors love being tasked for a mission because of their combat skills.” Maybe you should’ve thought of that three episodes ago when you were LARPing Wolverine in slo-mo against the Klingons for like ten minutes, M’Benga…

This line might have been okay by itself—McCoy-esque, if you will—except they’ve been giving Spock shit for Doing His Damn Job for the entire episode so far.

I love Christine, and SNW!Christine has grown on me, but…she’s not even the Head Nurse on this show. Why is she running Sickbay solo? Am I supposed to believe that the Enterprise doesn’t staff more than a single doctor??

“As long as it stays isolated to Uhura” Since they don’t know the cause and therefore whether the condition is infectious, shouldn’t they at least isolate Uhura? (They experienced a similar outbreak just a few episodes ago!!!)

Speaking of Uhura, seems pretty shitty of the writers to have Uhura be the first one to lose her memory: TOS already did that. (If it’s an homage, it’s not a good one.)

I adore Ethan, but sometimes his line delivery is weirdly stilted.

:')

There’s literally no one else left on the Bridge apart from Spock and Ortegas? Okay…

“It’s not the Spock show!” but it should be.

Whatever’s affecting the rest of the crew should affect Spock differently and/or belatedly due to his different genetic code. Then again, the only thing these writers seem to know about Vulcans is that they talk about logic a lot.

Not the computer having a ghost-of-Mufasa moment with Ortegas… (“Remember who you are.”)

“I feel like I know how to do this. And I’m the only one who can.” * Put a pin in this.

“Abso-friggin’-lutely.” Awful.

I didn’t think you can block a phaser blast with like...a physical shield?? Especially one (presumably) set to kill???

Kirk was involved in a lot of fights, but watching the captain of the Enterprise repeatedly kick/pistol-whip a guy who’s already laying prone on the ground is…surreal and horrible.

Trek’s always been two parts morality play, one part scifi, but can I get the scientific part of the reveal again? Something about radiation from an asteroid?? It sounds kind of interesting—but they’re just gonna gloss over it, aren’t they??

Also, the Enterprise is designed to protect its crew against all kinds of radiation—we know that because it was built to fly in SPACE, which is radioactive as fuck. So what’s special about these asteroids (and if the planet’s atmosphere is too thick to be penetrated by the Enterprise’s scanners, why can’t it protect the planet from the radiation coming off the asteroids that surround it)??

Please stop showing Pike punching this guy over and over again. It’s actually upsetting, I can’t see the point, if there is one.

Pike: “[Rigel VII] shows us who we really are…” Pike 30 seconds earlier: kicking and punching an unarmed man who’s sprawled out, bleeding, on the floor Pike: “The lives of my crew mean everything to me.”

sure-jan.gif

Look…TOS could be really unsubtle and on-the-nose about its messaging. It still did it with so much more grace and flair than THIS. “He was right. Not having a past…it can be nice for a while.” “I know what you mean. But maybe some memories are worth the pain of others.” / “The story of your life, the details…they matter!” Wow, what do you guys think is this episode trying to say?!?

*“No one but you could pull this off.” In “Mirror Mirror,” a visibly nervous Uhura hesitates after Kirk issues his orders; he then reassures her by earnestly saying “You’re the only one who can do it.” It’s meaningful because it’s true—Uhura is the only one both with the necessary skills and whom Kirk can trust in the mirror universe. Here, it’s just Pike stroking the ego of an officer who’s already an arrogant smartass…plus, while Ortegas might be the best pilot on board, the episode repeatedly makes it clear that she is NOT the only one qualified to “fly the ship.”

“I don’t blame Spock. He’s still got a lot to learn.” Why the fuck would anyone blame Spock for anything that went down here?!! The man was trying to analyze the asteroids—the very same ones that robbed everyone of their memories—at the beginning of the episode when everyone was rolling their eyes and saying “not now, Spock,” and look where it fucking got them!

And in the very next line, we learn that Spock came up with the solution that SAVED THE SHIP/CREW.

“It feels logical to me.” This is the kind of shit y’all should be angry about re: Spock, not him smooching Christine. It FEELS logical. Retch.

I know I sound really critical here, but I actually found this one a lot easier to watch (almost) straight-through than some of the previous episodes, i.e., without having to stop and scream in frustration. It was less mundane and plodding than the previous one (and left SNW!Kirk behind, thank God). That said, I did find myself tempted to fast-forward through some of the scenes on Rigel VII, and I did skip around during the Pike/Batel scenes. I also saw a lot of comments that this episode is very TOS...I guess so? Imo the resemblance is surface-level only, though.

The Good: Hey, they're on a STRANGE NEW-(to-the-viewer) WORLD! Imagine that! — La'an's costume and the way she's styled for the away mission. — Boring subplot aside, Batel also looks really nice. — The vibe, planetside, is trying to be like TOS. Gold star for effort? — A few funny lines. — Ethan gets a lot of flattering shots in this episode. :3

The Bad: A lot of time wasted between Ortegas' repeated “I fly the ship” mantra (both early and later on) and the Pike/Batel scenes that bookend the episode. — Almost everyone being critical of what Spock says and how he says it; it borders on unprofessional and mean and is ESPECIALLY bad since Spock then uses science to restore their memories (off-screen, of course). — Making Uhura the first one to get amnesia. — Failing to develop Ortegas at all in what I assume is supposed to be an “Ortegas episode.” — Christine's hair. My poor girl! — Spock forgets how to READ?!?? (I missed this while I was watching because it's just Too Stupid for me to believe they actually went there.) — Gratuitous violence from Pike that seemed to serve no thematic or symbolic purpose.

There better be Spockstine in the next one, because without it, Ethan’s face is still worth it…barely, though.

#i think i had more to say but then I just ran out of steam lol #this episode was better than the kirk one ('kirk'... ''''kirk''''...) #but idk not by a huge margin #luth liveblogs snw