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#it must always be the wine pairing to an already full meal
folklauerate · 1 year
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I think I might be the worst fic writer in the world bc I do not know how to add my fics to collections (other then the Employed Tom Dorset one I quite literally moderate) to increase readership and more to that matter I don’t give a single flying fuck about readership or “engagement” or “how a fic performs” anymore 😭 caring about that is a TRAP and it takes away from actual enjoyment of creating something out of love and for the sake of creating it and because the idea keeps you up in the middle of the night and finds you on long drives and won’t go away until you put pen to paper and the cursor on the page and write it down. Writing to try and please the audience you cannot see and who doesn’t exist and is a figment of your imagination is a surefire way to make you hate yourself when something doesn’t “do” the way you think it will and damn we need to move away from language around “performance” when it comes to fanfiction entirely. Fanfiction exists outside the capitalist economy, it is one of the true joyful beautiful wonderful acts of creating just to create that cannot be monetized and that’s so damn important to me.
At the end of the day I am quite literally only ever really writing for myself. I write what I want how I want when I want and hit post. I have opinions on my own writing and think some wips are shittier than others because I wrote them fast and dirty and didn’t give a flying fuck about editing or whatever, I just wanted it out and done. It’s nice when my friends read it and care, I like having the opinions of people whose work I respect as well. It’s always flattering when other people I don’t know read it and strangers leave comments or people send anons and DMs. It’s an absolute mind fuck to think people are discussing words I wrote amongst themselves and not involving me but it’s gratifying to hear because the work did what it was supposed to do; it was scraped out of a part of me and put out into the world and became whatever it needed to become for the person reading it, and that’s cool but also I can’t think about that without it getting overwhelming a little bit, I can’t.
All that to say… fuck a fic collection I “should” be putting works in and fuck a “time” to post and fuck “engagement” and fuck it all to hell. I write to soothe the gremlin inside me who lives under a bridge like a troll in a fairytale and I’m really better for it 😭
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turtletaubwrites · 6 months
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Hello luv, you wouldn't be willing to write for Red Leg Zeff would you? If not do you know of anyone who would. Thank you, have a great day!
Hi, thank you for the request! I hope you like it! 😊🙏🏼
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My Lovely Patron
Pairing: Red Leg Zeff x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1300
Ao3 Link
Summary: You are a journalist following a story about fishmen attacking a floating restaurant. You try to ply the head chef with wine for some details, but end up getting something else instead.
Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ Only, MDNI, Fem!Reader, Reader Insert, Smut, Fluff, Age Difference, Flirting, Alcohol, Vaginal Fingering, Size Kink, Praise Kink, Shameless Smut, Zeff is just a softie, with very skilled hands
A/N: This is my first request, and I hadn't planned on writing for Zeff, but I had a great time! I hope you enjoy it, and I'd love to try some more requests soon!
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The fishmouth bar at the Baratie was emptying, noises drifting as patrons returned to their ships for the night. You’d bought a bottle of red, and given the bartender a hefty tip to let you stay while he closed down the bar. 
You’d asked him for details on the recent events, but it wasn’t enough for your story. 
Why were the fishmen here? Who were the Marines after?
The motivations of the Marines was always a risky subject, and could be even more difficult to publish. But you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a good story here, something went down at Baratie.
So you waited, hoping to catch staff grabbing an after hours drink. It was always easier to get people gossiping over booze. 
Your heart raced, and you tried to keep your excitement in when the owner himself walked in, his wooden peg leg giving his stride a powerful rhythm. 
Red Leg Zeff.
It didn’t seem to be well known, but you did your research. This head chef once led a pirate crew, and now some pirate chaos just happened in his restaurant. 
You grabbed the opportunity, picked up your bottle of red, and sauntered over. 
“Hello chef, I just wanted to thank you for such a lovely meal. Would you like to share a glass with me?”
Zeff looked like he came out of daze, his braided mustache swinging as he shook his head. 
“Oh, yes, thank you, We live to serve.”
The bartender magically appeared, taking the bottle from your hand to pour his boss a glass. 
You sat beside the older man, realizing just how massive he was compared to you. He must have been a terrifying foe back then. 
‘You’re uh, you’re here late aren't ya?”
You tapped your glass and gave him a shy smile. 
“Yes, chef. The ship I’m staying on gets pretty rowdy at night, your bartender was kind enough to let me relax here for a while.”
“Oh, I’m sure he was.”
Zeff gave the poor bartender a look that could have been teasing or menacing, you couldn’t tell. You touched his forearm gently, which he looked at before turning back to you. 
“Please don’t blame him. I can be very persuasive.”
Zeff huffed a laugh, seeming surprised. 
“Well, my persuasive patron, we’ve got some wine to drink, don’t we?”
Finding yourself laughing, you realized you were enjoying Zeff’s company. You had a feeling he would catch on instantly if you tried to needle him for information too soon. The wine bottle was almost empty.
“So, Chef… I heard that you have an interesting past. I’ve always wanted to hear some real adventure stories.”
Your heart raced, adrenaline pumping for the fear you may have already pushed too far. 
Zeff looked away from you, then gestured to the bartender as he was heading out. With another bottle in hand, Zeff led you to a table. You grinned as he poured another for you, then he leaned toward you with his glass in hand. 
“I just wanted to thank you dear. It’s been a tough week over here, and I appreciate the distraction.”
You tapped your full glasses, and almost jumped at his words. 
“Tough week? Want to talk about it?”
Zeff looked out at the dock, and you almost felt bad about doing your job when you saw the look in his eyes. 
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just, uh... Just an old man letting go of his apprentice. That little eggplant has left me understaffed, and didn’t even have the decency to restock the smoked meats first.”
You tried not to smile. But it was so cute. This scary ex pirate was drowning his sorrows because one of his cooks left. 
Fuck. I’m not going to get anything useful out of him tonight. 
You looked toward the dock. You hadn’t lied about the ship you were paying for. The crew was obnoxiously loud, and you didn’t feel like heading there just yet. 
Besides, I kinda like this old pirate. 
You had cut yourself off, knowing that you couldn’t hold your liquor against Red Leg Zeff. 
But you knew you were both rosy cheeked as he shared his stories, and you laughed when you weren’t sure if they were true or not. 
Zeff sat back in his chair, head tilted as he looked at you with a slow smile.
“Bar’s empty now, pretty thing. How ‘bout you come take a seat on my lap?”
Zeff pushed his chair back, and patted his thigh, while your face burned. 
“I, uh-”
“It’s alright if you don’t want to, sweetheart. I just wanted to thank you for cheering this old man up.” 
Pleasant chills crept over your shoulders at his gruff promise. You almost laughed at yourself when you realized you wanted to. 
You walked around the table, grabbing a sip from his glass before taking a seat. 
The chef had already taken off his uniform, and your shoulder brushed against his soft striped shirt. You sat on his firm thigh, and tried not to look at the wood on his opposite leg.
One of Zeff’s arms circled your back, so warm and steady. A sigh left your lips, and you looked up at his small smile. 
“Hi, Chef,” you breathed, and he laughed before using his free hand to stroke down your cheek to your neck. 
‘You’re a vision, ya know that?”
You felt your cheeks burn more, and tried not to squirm.
Chuckling, he started stroking along your thigh. 
“Now, I hate to have debts, darlin’. Can I repay my lovely patron for her company now?”
“Yes, Chef,” you said, biting your lip.
Zeff kissed along your temple as his fingers slipped under your skirt. The trace of his fingers sent heat right through you, your breath speeding up.
Zeff reached your core, and dragged his knuckles up and down along your panties. Your body bucked slightly and he grinned at you, before moving your panties to graze the wetness that had already built there. 
Zeff brought those fingers to his face, languidly sucking your arousal from his skin. The sight was too much, and you moaned in his arms until his raspy words made your eyes roll back. 
“Mm, you taste delicious, love.”
Zeff stroked along your thighs again before bringing his fingers back where you needed them. This time, he pushed your panties aside, and explored you. His fingers trailed along your folds, then found that bundle of nerves. 
Gasping, you reached for him. You gripped onto him, holding yourself onto his thigh and shoulder while he showed you how skilled his fingers were. 
Zeff leaned you back a bit, and sent one of his large fingers inside. His thumb rubbed along your clit, and your moans were getting louder. 
“You’re being so good, pretty thing. Let me hear ya sing for me.”
Zeff thrust another finger in, reaching deep, hooking to play with that sweet spot that had your toes curling. Zeff’s arms had to hold more of your weight while you twitched in his lap. 
“There ya go, girl. Take your fill.”
Zeffs words rolled over you as his fingers took you over the edge. You screamed into the night sky. Zeff's arm supported you from falling off the chair, while his other hand kept your pleasure dancing through you, helping you ride it out. 
Zeff’s low hums as he stroked your hair and arms made you sigh, warmth and relaxation moving through your body. You tried to move to get out of his lap, but he held you to him gently. 
“I’ve still got a full glass, sweetheart. How about ya stay with me a while longer?”
His request sent warmth through you, and you grinned up at his cheerful face, his mustache wiggling above you. 
“Alright, Chef.”
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Thank You For Reading! 💜
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Part 2
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ajaxpilled · 6 months
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I think a lot about Wrio allowing himself to indulge and gaining some weight as a way of healing, he went hungry for a long part of his life, but now he gets to be safer, to eat his fill and go to sleep with a full tummy. I also think of Neuvillete encouraging him to do it so, cherishing his softer body and rubbing his tummy, empty or full, which is great bcs Wrio not only lived starved of food but of affection too. I LOVE WG AND STUFFING AS HEALING, AND I LOVE WRIO. I CAN HEAL HIM FR (BY FEEDING HIM)
AHSJSHUS I LOVE THIS cherishing his softer body and rubbing his tummy <3333
i feel like so many canon profile bits and exchanges with him point to him being quite an indulgent character already; slacking off work, turning up his nose at the less desirable welfare meals, strolling around fontaine's patisseries, taking little tea breaks whenever the opportunity arises. as he deserves to!
given that he's said to be seen visiting bakeries while on duty in the overworld, i like to think he has a sweetooth :3 perhaps neuvillette often brings him pastries and cakes as gifts whenever he visits during work hours. he invites him to furina's famous tea parties whenever the chance makes itself available (one of which is sure to be hosted each time the warden has official business to discuss in the court of fontaine, no matter how trivial.) he is always delighted to see him treat himself, and wriothesley is just as happy to satisfy his sweet tooth on such a decadent feast; not only did he never think he would have the opportunity to live so luxuriously, but also because now he believes he deserves to do so, no longer holding back from his desires out of guilt and little self worth.
not only does he give in to his newfound large appetite, but neuvillette rather likes to indulge him too. he brings him out to restaurants and orders fine foods and wines - a gloved finger pointing out the dishes on the menu as he orders for the both of them. at furina's tea parties, he offers him another slice of cake or suggests which desserts to try next, even as wriothesley places a hand on the swell of his quickly filling stomach.
"kouign-amann pair quite well with ginger tea. i must say this batch has been baked long to perfection," he muses, delicately pushing a plate across the table to wriothesley, who is still making his way through the gâteau he insisted he try. "though if you are drinking something sweeter, i would suggest a few canelés, or this pear tarte tatin. what do you think, furina?"
"the red wine caramel is exquisite, wriothesley."
"these macarons from lucerne's, though, are truly delectable. they are still light and crisp from this morning."
"let me breathe first." wriothesley swallows, smiling fondly at his enthusiasm to see him eat well. (and, really, breathing may become slightly more challenging if he continues on like this.) "i haven't even finished the last few you so kindly bestowed upon me."
and ohhh the belly rubs,,, !!!!!!!
ofc i believe wriothesley is so weak for having his tummy rubbed in the first place - neuvillette's warm hands are the perfect balance of heavy and firm but gentle, and just feel so inexplicably nice - so when the deep circles he rubs into his belly are accompanied by the pleasurable feeling of being full of baked treats or a yummy dinner, he quite positively ascends to heaven. and when his lavish lifestyle inevitably fills him out and he amasses a few extra inches on his waistline, the iudex's hands on his newly senistive tummy send him out of this world entirely. falling asleep is a difficult thing for wriothesley, but under these circumstances - whether neuvillette is settling a meal in his stomach or simply providing affectionate rubs - he feels safe and cared for in his arms, and despite fighting it, sleep takes over him and he's snoring lightly into his boyfriend's shoulder. indulging is a fun little hobby, but having somebody to indulge with - somebody to pamper you - is much preferable.
(also consider - tummy kisses. neuvillette is absolutely over the moon when the soft cushioning of wriothesley's tummy means he can easily take it between his teeth, trailing little love bites over the gentle curve of his belly. or simply just pressing his lips to his warm middle in soft, adoring kisses, much to wriothesley's blissful delight.)
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archonanqi · 3 years
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consequence / pt i
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⛔️ Warning: This is an exploration of Zhongli’s manipulative tendencies that we see glimpses of in his archon and story quest. Absolutely no part of the relationship depicted here is healthy or consensual. Please proceed with caution. 
🔖 [info] [next]
pt. i of iii
Looking back, you should have noticed that something was wrong the moment Zhongli had insisted on treating you and Aether to dinner. 
You and Paimon tried to stop him, of course — far too many of his shopping sprees in the past had ended with the Millelith involved or your pockets emptied of Mora (usually both, really). Yet today, he’d produced a wallet lined with gleaming coins, and any protests died quickly on Paimon’s lips. 
“Wow, that’s enough to buy—” she marvelled, staring as intently as though her gaze itself could start pocketing the Mora, “at least… TEN Golden Crabs from Wanmin Restaurant!” 
Zhongli chuckled, the sound still sending pleasant shivers down your spine even after all the months you’d spent traveling with him. “A little more than that, Paimon, but a good guess nonetheless.” He turned his amber gaze to you and your brother, who had not strayed a foot away from you since the Abyss released its hold on him. 
Aether had kept an easy smile on his face for the past few days, but you’d known him long enough to pick out the signs of guilt, despite your reiterated reassurances that what the Abyss did to him was not his fault. It would take a long time for him to feel alright again; and you’d be there for him for as long as it took. 
“And as for you two?” Zhongli continued, “will Wanmin Restaurant be agreeable? Though of course, if you believe that such a momentous reunion demands something a little more extravagant, I’m sure that Xinyue Pavillion is still taking reservations—”
“No, that’s not—” you weren’t sure why you were hesitating. So what if he mysteriously found himself without enough Mora by the end of the meal, and you ended up having to foot the bill as usual? It stung a little to think about, but it wasn’t as though you’d have any need for Mora after tonight. “That’s not it. After everything you’ve done for us during our travels, I couldn’t possibly accept more from you, Zhongli.”
Couldn’t possibly bear sitting at a table with Zhongli, knowing that it’d be the last time you’d ever see him. This was why you’d always tried to leave each world with a clean cut. This was why, at the break of dawn, you and Aether would leave without telling anyone — not Jean, not Cyno, not Dainsleif, not Ajax. Not even Zhongli, with whom you’d spent the bulk of your past year.  
“Oh, no,” Zhongli replied, brows arching upwards, “I’ve told you, have I not? The pleasure of our travels were mine to enjoy.” 
“Er... well. I’m sure Aether is also tired and wants to rest,” you prompted, squeezing Aether’s hand. Aether nodded quickly — no matter the world, you’d always been able to count on him to pick up on your nuanced signals. Though he might not know why, he knew that you were uneasy with going to this dinner, and that was enough.
“Hmm,” Zhongli pondered this shortly, then turned to your brother. You’d seen that look of calculated determination on his face before, in front of basha stalls and souvenir stores across the continent. A look that meant Zhongli would get what he wanted. “I had rather been looking forward to getting to know the sibling of my favored travel companion. Are you certain? Wanmin Restaurant is quite the gem of Liyue Harbor, and I’m certain that the food here will be a fair few notches above what the Abyss Order has been able to offer you.” 
There was a slight, amiable smile on his face, but bringing up the Abyss was a painfully low blow and you had no doubt that Zhongli, the lord of contracts and negotiations and everything in between, knew it. You watched in mute horror as the guilt and regret danced on Aether’s face, before he finally gathered it all back into an apologetic smile. “Of course, Mr. Zhongli. Far be it from me to refuse a dinner with the former Geo Archon himself, especially with all the trouble I’ve caused you...”
—  
Even after traveling the seven nations, you’d never once stopped pining for the savory, hearty flavors of Liyue cuisine. The spice of the black-perch stew that Xiangling taught you to cook had kept you warm through many a Snezhnayan blizzard, after all. Basking in the familiar scent of Wanmin Restaurant with a stomach full of hot food, and watching Paimon devour skewers of meat five at a time, you began to feel much better. 
The anger you’d felt at Zhongli’s manipulation of your brother had also since faded into contentment. After all, negotiation, you found, came as naturally to Zhongli as breathing; he had likely meant nothing by it.
Maybe it was okay that you spent just one more night with Zhongli. Maybe it would turn out to be the closure you need. 
You glanced at the man in question; he was teaching Aether how to use chopsticks, of course, and you were grateful to see that the haunted look in Aether’s eyes had given way to exasperation for now. By the time your brother had snapped his third pair of wooden ones, he was smiling and Paimon was just about rolling around on the ground in glee. As you stifled your own laughter, Zhongli set two small bottles of wine on the table.
You tried not to let yourself think about how the string lights of Chi’hu Rock glinted like stars in his eyes. 
“What’s this?” You joked, referencing Zhongli’s anger from the one time he’d seen Venti get you drunk. “Are we all to become disgraces to the arts tonight?”
Zhongli’s lip curled into a small smile. You couldn’t remember when his smiles had started coming more and more frequently, but you’d learned to savor each one. “Ordinarily, I would not condone such strong drink, but today is the most special of occasions, no?” 
As you watched, a goblet began to form between his fingers, golden, black and resplendent. You’d seen similar ones before, buried deep within the Domain of Guyun Stone Forest — an Archaic Petra Artifact, a Goblet of Chiseled Crag. According to Zhongli’s stories, the very same ones that he had created for the Seven to drink from in celebration, before all but two of them had vanished from this world. 
The cruel irony was not lost on you. 
“Besides, this is nothing like the watered down Mondstadt alcohol that that young bard partakes in,” Zhongli said, gloved fingers masterfully plucking the cork from the first bottle and pouring it into the goblets. “These two bottles contain the finest wu’liang’ye spirit that Liyue has to offer. They’ve been aged for well over decades with a technique passed down from the goddess Guizhong, whose mastery over grain and crop transcends even my own today.” 
“We’re—  flattered,” you bowed your head. The matter of Guizhong, the late Goddess of Dust and Zhongli’s good friend from when the Archon War still ravaged the land, was but one of the many things that you’d wanted to talk to him about. If only you had more time. “Thank you, Zhongli.”
He passed you the first goblet, then the second to Paimon. “Please, let’s forgo the formalities tonight. You are a dear friend to me, and so, by extension, is your family.” The second bottle was opened, its contents split between Zhongli and Aether. “Let us drink, to the happy reunion of loved ones, to the fruitful friendships you have forged in this world, and to all the triumphant adventures to be had still.”
The wince you hid was only partially from the burning drag of liquor sliding down your throat.
It had not escaped your notice that Zhongli had been staring at you all night — more intently than usual, and that was saying something. 
“y/n, I think—“ he began, as you met his gaze. By the Archons, the way he said your name—
“ Paimon thinks there should be less talking, more drinking! Ganbei!” Paimon screeches, downing half her goblet and immediately falling down to the cobblestone road, spluttering and choking at the heat. 
“This is… very strong, Mr. Zhongli,” Aether was the first to speak after. “Wonderful liquor. What gives it its mild bitterness?” 
“Bitter?” You asked, letting the drink roll on your tongue, “where’s the bitterness? It tastes mostly sweet to me.”
Aether took another long drink, thoughtfully. “Definitely bitter. Here, try a sip?”
You took his goblet, but as you pressed it to your lips, you felt it begin to violently vibrate. Quickly, you pulled it away from your face just in time for it to shatter in your hand, gold and black shards falling to the floor as what little drink left in the goblet splattered across the table. 
“Goodness,” Zhongli said, after your surprised yelp brought Paimon stumbling back to your side, her cheeks still stained scarlet from the liquor, “I must apologize. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had to construct something so small and intricate — I am out of practice, it seems.” 
“Oh! That’s quite alright, I drank most of it already—“ Aether glanced over your shoulder, “by the Archons, Paimon has a knife!”
As you watched Chef Mao try to wrestle his knife back from a cackling, red-faced Paimon, you recalled the crystal hairpin Zhongli had forged two months ago — when you’d complained of the Natlan desert wind blowing your hair into your eyes. It had been just as intricate as the goblets, and much, much smaller. One of the few belongings you were planning on bringing with you.
You wondered what reason Zhongli had to lie. 
— 
“Maybe it was a good thing your goblet shattered,” you told Zhongli, prodding Aether with one of your chopsticks. He had stopped even groaning in response. And though Paimon was still conscious, she looked as though she would much rather not be, sitting forlornly on the table with her head in her hands. “Look at them. Drunk as skunks.” 
“Maybe,” Zhongli replied, “though I did not expect these two to have such low tolerance to alcohol. It was a miscalculation on my part.” 
“Paimon’s always like this —you know, remember that bar in Snezhnaya?— but Aether’s usually better at holding his drink,” you sighed. “I should probably get him back to Wangshu Inn.”
“Let him sober up a little here. It’s a long trek to the inn, and you don’t want him making a mess of his dinner on the way back.” Loathe as you were to admit it, Zhongli was right. It seemed that the fates were demanding that you spend a little more time with him, after all. He stood up, his tremendous height still a little startling to you. 
“Will you walk with me for a little, y/n?”
It wasn’t fair, really, the way he said your name. “Where are we going?” 
“I’m not sure,” he answered. “The harbor for a breath of fresh air perhaps, or Bubu Pharmacy to fetch a remedy for Aether. Does it matter to you, where we go?”
Going anywhere with him was a pleasure, one that against your better judgement, you yearned to partake in one more time. “No,” you admitted. “Let’s go.” 
--  
“It’s been so long since we’ve walked through Liyue — a year, almost. Do you remember? It was my birthday, and we walked for hours through the harbor.” Zhongli chuckled, the sound a deep rumble through your bones. “You wouldn’t let me buy dinner that time, either.” 
The nights of Liyue, its rolling hills and monumental mountains, were a peace you’d never known before coming to Teyvat. The city was uncharacteristically quiet tonight, and by the time you got to Yujing Terrace, you realized that it was the emptiest you’d ever seen it. The usual evening crowd of kids out of school and elderly taking strolls were nowhere to be seen — not even the Millelith guards usually standing by the gate were there. 
“ That time ,” you corrected, swallowing your unease at the silence of the city, “you didn’t have a single Mora to your name.” The strides you had to take to keep up with Zhongli’s long, long legs were huge, and you struggled to stay by his side. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that I wouldn’t have had to pay the entire bill if we’d actually gone to Wangshu Inn for dinner that night.” 
You immediately regretted it when he turned his golden gaze upon you, and it took everything within you to not avert yours. “Perhaps that may have been the case,” Zhongli allowed, “though I would have returned your investment tenfold over the next week. Have I not proven as much throughout our travels?” 
His vast knowledge of valuable gemstones and herbs — and more importantly, his uncanny ability to get any deal he set his mind to — had kept you and Paimon fed for many a week during your trek through the caves and jungles of Sumeru. You had to give him that. And that wasn’t not even counting the number of boulders, traps, swords and ravenous winter wolves that his shield had protected you from—
“Fine, I’ll admit, it was nice to have you around, you bourgeois parasite,” you said, playing on his joke back from when you’d first met. Then, after a brief silence, “Zhongli, in all seriousness, thank you.”
“Hmm?”
“I know that you’ve accompanied many adventurers on their journeys,” you explained, “but you — you dropped everything and journeyed with me, and you’ve done more for me than anyone else. I could never have found Aether without you.” Zhongli was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so you hurried along to fill the silence, “We— we made a great team together. And I will never forget everything that you’ve done for me. So, thank you.” 
“A great team together...” he repeated, voice lower than a whisper. “y/n, this sounds like a farewell.” 
Your breath caught in your throat. Even in silence, you were breaking the most important rule you’d learned throughout all your travels. Never let them know you’re leaving.
Zhongli turned to face you, and his full attention is a force that you had not yet learned to endure. So instead, you turned your attention to the koi darting about among the lotus reeds as he continued, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been more careless with your Mora lately. And as for your hard-earned weapons, artifacts, and resources, you have given them all to the Knights of Favonius, correct?” 
“I gave some to the Millelith too,” you objected quietly.
“You know that is not what I meant,” Zhongli said. You did know. “Are you planning on leaving this world, y/n?”
“I have to,” you heard yourself say, “we don’t belong here.” 
As though he heard the waver in your voice, the Lord of Contracts honed in on it like a Sumeran jaguar. “Do you remember the first Lantern Rite you partook in? Though you had just arrived in Liyue, and though the Millelith, Qixing and Adepti each gave you reason to distrust them, you still chose to spend the festival helping people.” 
“I didn’t help that many—” 
“Twenty-six people,” he corrected, and you cursed yourself for not thinking that he would remember. “A dozen more, if we are to count the young and elderly of Qingce, whose lives were brightened by the festivities you brought to the village. And hundreds above that, if we acknowledge every person in Liyue Harbor, whose Lantern Rite would have been ruined had you not stopped the thief who tried to steal the Mingxiao Lantern. Am I correct?” 
“I did it for the compensation,” you retorted, determined not to let yourself think about the people you’d helped. Who would help them after you left? 
“Hmm.” Zhongli rested his gloved fingers against his chin, and you could tell that he didn’t buy your bluff, not for a moment. “Anyone else, I may have believed. But you, y/n, who have begged me to stay my hand against fleeing Hilichurls? You, who could not bear to attack the Mitachurl that sits alone on Mount Tianheng and watches the harbor? You, who gave it a name ?” 
“Okay,” you finally relented. “Okay, I like helping people, and I don’t want to go. But that doesn’t mean I can stay. It’s— it’s not good for Aether to stay here, after what this world has done to him.” 
“With time, I believe your brother can adjust—”
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, Zhongli,” you begged, and the tone of your voice finally made him take notice. He regarded you for a moment, and you thought you saw his eyes glow bright. 
“The last thing I wanted,” he sighed, reaching into his coat, “was for it to come to this.” 
Your first reaction was to reach for your weapon — it wasn’t there; you’d given Festering Desire to dear little Bennett just before you’d left Mondstadt. Still, you felt the bright burn of shame when the only thing Zhongli pulled out was a piece of parchment, folded into a perfect square. How could you think that after everything, Zhongli would ever hurt you? 
“Do you remember this contract of ours?” Zhongli asked as he carefully unfolded the paper, handing it to you. You stared down at the neat lines of calligraphy, punctuated by your name in your own handwriting. 
Of course you remembered: the moment you had approached Zhongli at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, after your expedition into Havria’s domain. The day you’d asked him to join you on your travels.
“ Oh? A new contract? I'm still on leave, but I can accompany you for a while. ” Zhongli had mused, as though he hadn’t just sent butterflies soaring through your insides. “ What name should I use on the contract? I have a great many names, though when on leave... I tend to go by Zhongli. And you, Traveler? What name will you be signing on this contract— ?” 
The following contract had been quickly printed in his swift brushstrokes — simple terms: he would lend his strength and knowledge to your endeavor of finding Aether, and you, in turn, would simply keep him in good company. 
Even at the time, you’d wondered what was in it for Zhongli — the terms of the contract had seemed rather imbalanced, but in your euphoria at having gained Zhongli as your new travelling partner, you had not thought more on it. 
The same terms stared back at you now, and you were quickly realizing what was going on. 
For thousands of years, I have made countless contracts. If the deal was of no benefit, then I certainly would not be inclined to agree to it. 
The day you discovered his identity, Zhongli had said this to you. He’d never signed a contract before that did not benefit him wholly; and you were a fool to think he would’ve made an exception for you. 
“By keeping you in good company,” you said, numbly, “you don’t mean— forever ?”
“In the circumstances that the duration of a contract’s term is unspecified—” Zhongli held out his hand for the parchment. Briefly, you debated tearing it up and scattering it to the koi, but you knew well enough that it would not void the contract — one of the hundreds of thousands that Zhongli had undoubtedly seared into his memory. You handed it back to him silently. “Well, it would be fair to say that you are obliged to uphold it, until I personally release you from it, no?”
The first thing you felt was: fear, deep and chilling. You hadn’t truly believed that Zhongli would hurt you — until now. Until a contract had come into play. Until you realized you were poised to break one.
“You can’t be serious,” you said, but you’d known him long enough to know that he was. “I found my brother. I’m not from this world, and so I have to leave. I have to go home.” 
“Has Teyvat not provided you enough of a home? You have made friends here, allies who would die for you in a heartbeat. And as for Liyue — Liyue will always be as much of your home as mine. You have your own room in Chi’hu Rock, you are on a first-name basis with the Qixing and the Adepti would spar with you as though you were one of their own—”
You could feel your resolve trembling, but it was not enough. You would not ask your brother to compromise his wellbeing in a world that had not been kind to him. “I’m sorry,” you said, and you understood fully what was coming. “I can’t stay.” 
“After everything we have gone through, my friend, you would leave... me?” And there it was. In that moment, the former Archon — the oldest being in the world — looked so lonely that you almost broke down, almost apologized, almost reassured him that you would never once again put him through what he’d gone through far too many times: the loss of a friend. 
“I’m sorry,” you repeated. “My family comes first. I can’t stay.” 
Zhongli’s expression became unreadable. He closed his eyes, and for a moment, there was a peaceful silence that you savored. You had a feeling that it would be the last one you’d ever have in Liyue. The seconds crawled by, and briefly, you let yourself hope that Zhongli might relent, might make an exception for his close travel companion. 
“Well then, my friend,” Zhongli finally said, holding out his right arm. Sparks of energy gathered in his palms, forming a wicked, golden spear. The Vortex Vanquisher. You’d seen it countless times, marveling each time at its beauty and strength. You never thought you would one day be staring down the end of it. “You must know what comes next.” 
On your journey, you’d witnessed many a broken contract between Zhongli and other people — an Inazuman merchant whose greed for an extra trinket got the better of him; a Sumeran scholar who just needed to grab that last book from the hidden ruins; a Snezhnayan soldier whose loyalty to the Tsaritsa transcended his gratitude to you saving his life— 
None of them had escaped unscathed.  And each time, after delivering the punishment required of the situation, Zhongli would ask you the same thing, uncharacteristic frustration in his voice: 
“ To get people to abide by a contract, and act in accordance with the guidelines set out within, is simply to ask them to respect the concept of fairness. It is not a large request. How are there those who still do not understand such simplicity? ”
Each time, after you’d cheered him on in his reckoning of justice, you would nod and agree sympathetically. None of their contracts, you thought, had been particularly difficult to uphold. And each time, you would thank the heavens that you had more sense than to break a promise between yourself and the God of Contracts. 
It seemed that today, you were going to learn of what happened when you did. 
You took a step backwards as Zhongli took a slow, calculated one towards you. Having closely watched him rain destruction down upon your foes for the past few months, you knew with certainty that you, lightheaded from the wind and the still exhausted from your fight with Aether, would not be able to keep up with his speed and technique. 
And even if you weren’t, how could you even hope to compete with six thousand years of experience in war and strife and carnage? No; fighting him was not an option.
“Come on now, Zhongli,” you pleaded, taking another step and discovering, to your horror, that one more step backwards would have you falling into the koi ponds. You had nowhere else to go. “Aren’t we friends?” 
Even as the words left your mouth, you knew that they would fall on uncaring ears. Friendship had never stayed the hand of the victor of the Archon war.
Zhongli took another lazy stride forward. 
“Are we really going to fight in the city? We’ll destroy half the harbor.”
“While I appreciate your concern, I am quite confident that it will not come to that,” Zhongli said, the ‘because I would long have you pinned under my spear before then’ unspoken but tacit. “And besides, most of Liyue architecture is of stone. It would be nothing that I could not easily fix.” 
Fair enough. You switched gears, praying that two millennia of walking amongst the mortals had given him some vestige of human empathy. “Please, I need to go back and check on Aether. What if he woke up and found himself alone? Who knows what Paimon’s done to him by now.”
“Aether,” Zhongli said, “will not wake up for another day or two.” 
You pause, letting that register. “What?” 
The first bottle: you and Paimon. The second bottle: Zhongli and Aether. You remembered how carefully Zhongli handed you the first goblet, though Liyuenese etiquette would have mandated that he pass the first drink to the guest at the table. The way the goblet had shattered suddenly rang clear in your mind’s eye. His lie. How adamantly Zhongli must have been trying to keep you from drinking from Aether’s cup— 
“The herb I placed in his drink was but a very mild… sedative. He will almost certainly not die from it, but it can take mortals up to two days to regain consciousness.”
“ What ?” You could barely breathe. “You’re joking. You drank from the same bottle he did.”
“You need not concern yourself about me. My body has always been much more resistant to poisons than that of mortals.” 
The rage made your throat tight; it had been a long, long time since you had been so angry. “Congratulations, you know that there’s absolutely no way I’m staying now, right?” 
“Even before our confrontation today, I could tell that your mind was already made up,” he explained, as nonchalant as ever, as though he hadn’t just poisoned your fucking brother . “Naturally, the next course of action was to prevent you from breaking your contract by any means necessary, so that we could further negotiate. I did not want—” 
You would never learn what Zhongli didn’t want, because the fury in your lungs erupted outwards in a burst of elemental energy. You reached out, grabbing one of the last swords in your arsenal — a dull blade that you had been keeping around for enhancement fodder — but it didn’t matter, didn’t matter didn’t matter didn’t matter. All that mattered in that moment was making Zhongli pay . 
The familiar warmth of the element you were attuned to channeled through the sword, and you swung it as hard as you could in the direction of the former Archon. A wake of hardened earth ripped through the stone brick of the terrace, circling Zhongli in a jagged cage of rock and crystal. A little too late, you realized your folly.
Zhongli absently reached out, resting his gloved fingers against the earthly fangs you’d entrapped him within. Even through the haze of your anger, you could see a smile — a kind you had never seen on him — forming between his cheeks. “How ironic,” he said, “that you would use the powers that I granted you against me.” 
You could see the glow of Geo flowing from your constructs towards his outstretched palm. Vaguely, you knew that you had to run . 
“And how endearing—” he continued, and you could hear the rumbling beneath your feet, even as you turned to flee, “—that you truly thought it would work.” 
From behind, a shockwave of Geo more powerful than anything you’d ever felt smashed into you, throwing you off your feet and slamming you against the wall behind the pond. You crumpled like a paper lantern, cheek hitting the cool stone floor. As you struggled to keep your eyes open, the last things you saw were Zhongli’s intricate boots, gleaming in the moonlight before you.
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professorrw · 3 years
Note
Hey could I please request a LokixReader story set on Sakaar where they have an enemies to friends to lovers relationship? Lots of fluff and smut if that’s okay. Thank you xxxx
Lord have mercy is this long. I love the request (probably a little too much). I have to warn you before reading, it's 6.6K words, the longest fic I've written yet. BUT I love it. I'm really proud of it!
Pairing: female reader x Loki
Requested: Yes
Warnings: smut, 18+, praise, unprotected sex, fingering, enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, fighting (Hulk and Thor), spoilers for Thor Ragnarok, takes place during Ragnarok
A/N: And with this finished I'm going to take a day to myself tomorrow! I'm not feeling very well and I want to catch up on my series because I've been neglecting it. Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!
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You could ask anyone on Sakaar who the Grandmaster’s favorite person was and they would say it was you. You grew up on the trash planet with your father, who was a reject from his home planet. But on Sakaar you were basically royalty. Your father befriended the million year old Grandmaster when you were just two and from then on you were living in the lap of luxury.
You weren’t sure how long you’d been on Sakaar, but it had been a few hundred years. You didn’t look that old, more like twenty to thirty. But there was no way to be certain with the way that time worked on Sakaar.
Your life was perfect in your opinion. You and your father were happy and healthy on the trash planet. Every day you would dress in your finest silk robes, adorn your flashy face paint, and go to the arena to watch fights. When you weren’t doing that you were in your home or with the Grandmaster, who was basically a second father to you.
It was the end of the day and you were eating dinner with the Grandmaster, your father, and some other ‘royalty.’ As typical with all meals held by the Grandmaster it was full of excited and animated talking and extravagant food. You were too busy drinking your wine to engage in conversation, unlike your father who hadn’t touched his plate in favor of speaking to the man next to him.
Your father was a very social man, probably why the Grandmaster took such a liking to him. They were equally as flamboyant and outgoing. the Grandmaster often remarked how much you looked like your father. You had the same hair color, eye color and shape, and skin tone. Though you couldn’t tell your father’s true hair color anymore because it had started greying, contrary to the rest of his body that wasn’t aging as quickly.
There was a knock at the dining room door and the Grandmaster called for whoever it was to come in. The noise had drawn everyones’ attention, and all eyes were on the man that was being escorted in. He was tall, with fair skin and raven black hair. He was the most attractive man you had seen in a while. He didn’t look like a lot of the men you saw, but he still looked elegant.
“Who is this?” the Grandmaster asked.
Instead of waiting for the guards to speak, the detainee spoke, “I am Loki, God of Mischief and Prince of Asgard. I would like to say right now that it is a mistake imprisoning me and I will forget all about it if you let me go right now.” Loki spoke swiftly and with an accent foreign to many you heard normally. He had a very charming speech but you were in utter shock at the way he had spoken to the Grandmaster.
You expected the Grandmaster to order the guards to throw him in with the other gladiators and make him go against the champion, but he actually laughed, followed by everyone else in the room other than you.
“Well, Loki, I suppose I don’t need to make you fight. You can keep me company instead. How does that sound?”
It must not have been what Loki was expecting because he raised his eyebrows and said nothing for several seconds. “I think that would be fine,” he finally responded.
“Good, good. Why don’t you take that off him so he can pull up a chair?” the Grandmaster said to the guards. They did as he ordered and unshackled the dark haired man. As soon as he was free he grabbed a chair and planted right in between the Grandmaster and you. Loki sat down and gazed at you, offering a dazzling smile.
You squinted at him for a moment, sizing him up. You knew he was going to be trouble, to you at least.
“Ah Loki, please meet Y/N. She’s like a daughter to me,” the Grandmaster said to him.
“Hello Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His words were so obviously a lie that it made you scowl. You could hear the sarcasm seeping from his words. You could tell that he was already trying to butter up the Grandmaster. But in actuality he was trying not to get himself killed. Thor was nowhere to be found and he was on this planet by himself.
“Likewise,” you said back. You turned away from the men and started eating your meal, pointedly ignoring Loki as you did so. You could hear their conversation and it was almost impossible not to eavesdrop. The Grandmaster was mostly talking about himself, all things that you’d already heard before. Loki, when given the chance to talk, was just complimenting him in return.
When the meal was over and the dishes were collected the Grandmaster addressed your father. “My dear Holden, would you house my company for the time being?”
You whipped your head over to the Grandmaster. You couldn’t believe the words that had just come from his mouth. You couldn’t believe he was asking you and your father to let Loki stay with you. But your father being your father would have no problem with it. You just knew he was going to accept.
As you expected he said, “Why of course, the more the merrier.”
Your house was incredibly close to the palace. There really was no need for guards to escort you and your father home but the Grandmaster thought it was necessary. So after dinner you, your father, and Loki made your way to your home. It was very beautiful, and almost as grand as the palace itself, but much smaller.
Your father was in high spirits as usual. Once you were inside your father turned to Loki with a brilliant smile adorning his face. "We are delighted to have you. Please follow me, you can sleep here in the guest bedroom. Y/N is right next door so you can go to her if you need anything."
You looked at your father with a deadpan expression, which he didn't seem to notice. Loki on the other hand was positively beaming back at your father.
"Thank you so much for the hospitality. I really cannot thank you enough."
Your father chuckled, "It's no trouble at all. Any guest of the Grandmaster's is a guest of mine. So please, make yourself at home."
"Thank you again. I am quite tired so I think I'll be heading to bed. Goodnight Holden, goodnight Y/N." He bowed and went to his chambers without another word.
You looked incredulously at your father but he seemed to not have a care in the world. He was awfully aloof when it came to matters dealing with the Grandmaster. Your father and the Grandmaster had a complicated relationship. You really had no clue what was going on with them. They called each other dear and said they loved each other, but you had seen the Grandmaster and your father doing a fair share of flirting with many men and women.
You walked to your own room with a heavy sigh. You stayed up for a few hours that night wondering about the man next door.
You quickly realized that the Grandmaster had taken a liking to Loki. The next morning you, your father, and Loki were having breakfast with the Grandmaster and Loki was hanging onto every word that came out of the man's mouth. You just knew that Loki didn't care. But what you want to know are his intentions. He randomly shows up on your planet and instantly catches the Grandmaster's attention.
You spend most of the morning with your father, preferring his company to the Grandmaster and his new pet. The next time you saw him was at lunch. And just like at dinner the previous night Loki was sitting right next to the Grandmaster. Instead of enduring the empty compliments that were coming from Loki you decided to sit farther down the table next to another one of your father's friends.
"Hello Marridija," you said as you sat down. Marridija was a very kind woman. Kind and very up to date on all the goings on at the palace. It was no surprise that she was close to the Grandmaster.
"Why hello Y/N. You aren't sitting at the front of the table today?" Her drawn-on eyebrows drew in and she tilted her head to the side slightly, making you worry that her hair, which was styled heavily with spray to keep it straight up, would tip over and ruin. Over the many years on Sakaar you had grown accustomed to the wild fashion in the palace. Everyone in the Grandmaster's group wore metallic face paint and did their hair as tall and elaborate as possible.
Out of everyone at the table Marridija had the craziest hair and brightest makeup. She always made sure she was seen in a crowd. Her hair was bubble gum pink and looked like cotton candy on top of her head. Her makeup was many bright streaks of pink, blue, and gold.
"No, not today. I thought I might try something new."
"Oh. Well I'm delighted that you decided to sit by me. I've been meaning to ask-" her eyes cut from you to something over your shoulder before returning to talking, "about your company last night."
You clenched your jaw for a second before you answered her. "What would you like to know?"
"Well… the whole palace wants to know about this mysterious man. Loki, he said." She was speaking in a hushed voice so no one other than you could hear her. If anyone heard her they would most definitely be listening in. But Marridija was good at being quiet when she needed to be. She wanted to be the first with fresh gossip, and for that she would have to hear it before anyone else.
“There isn’t much to tell really. As soon as we got home he went off to his bedroom.”
The woman narrowed her eyes for a second before giving a huff. “Oh Y/N, you won’t give an old lady a bit of juice now will you?” Her face changed from a pout to a sly smile a few seconds after she said that. “Or is there something you don’t want to share with me? A secret of your own perhaps?”
“Absolutely not Marridija. What I’ve told you is the truth. I’m sorry I have nothing juicy enough for your ears.”
You turned away from the woman and forward towards the table and the meal being set in front of you. Through the whole of breakfast you remained silent, listening to the chatter around you. There always seemed to be something to talk about on Sakaar, but with Loki’s arrival and the Grandmaster’s liking towards him has made Loki the center of attention.
After breakfast the guests were clearing out of the dining hall. The Grandmaster had dismissed everyone and he and Loki were the last to leave. You stuck around and when the Grandmaster went to use the restroom and left Loki unoccupied you walked up to him. A smile appeared on his face as he saw your smaller frame scowling at him as you neared. For whatever reason he was quite enjoying how frustrated he was making you, though he didn’t know what exactly was making you mad.
“Hello Y/N,” he greeted.
“Don’t act all innocent. You’re up to something.”
Loki’s eyebrows shot up but his smile remained. “And what would that be?”
“Well I’ve come to find that out.” You crossed your arms and planted your feet in front of Loki. It wasn’t your best look but you wanted to intimidate him. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He was taller than you and obviously confident enough to tell the Grandmaster it was a mistake to imprison him.
“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, as they say, but I don’t have anything planned. I landed here by mistake.” Loki said the words so simply you just couldn’t believe it. If he was telling the truth then it would take more than that to convince you.
“And why should I believe you?”
“Well I suppose you shouldn’t. You don’t know me, you don’t know my past or all the things I’ve done. Maybe we could spend some time together and you’ll realize I’m being honest.”
Loki wasn’t entirely sure why he said that last part. He had never offered to let someone get to know him. But a part of him also wanted someone to be able to talk to since he was all alone on a planet he was an outsider on. And it helped that he thought you were incredibly attractive.
You on the other hand didn’t know what to make of his words. If you accepted you might be falling right into his trap, into his plan. But on the other hand maybe he was being genuine. It surely wouldn’t hurt to find out more about him. If he was lying then you could possibly find out his intentions. So you thought the only logical decision would be to accept.
“Fine. After dinner we’ll go to my home and we can… get to know each other. But only because I want to know if you’re telling the truth.”
He laughed, “Of course, of course. See you then.”
The door you were standing next to opened and the Grandmaster himself walked out. He clasped his hands together and a smile appeared on his face. “Y/N! Thank you for keeping Loki company. Are you two getting along?”
You and Loki glanced at each other. There was no way you were going to say no, both of you had common sense. So you both put on a smile and looked as comfortable as possible.
“We are!” Loki said first. He put a huge grin on his face and leaned towards you, draping an arm around your shoulder. The sudden touch almost made you recoil, but if you did that it would look strange to the man that had just questioned your relationship.
“Well Loki and I should be going. I’ll see you at supper gorgeous.” The Grandmaster wiggled his fingers at you with an award winning smile. Loki took his arm off you and started following after him when the Grandmaster began to walk away. A hole might have been burnt into the back of Loki’s head from your staring. He was so puzzling. Irksome even.
The footsteps eventually faded as they walked further and further away from you and closer to wherever it was they were going. Your own slippered feet padded against the floor of the palace as you made your way down to the bottom level, outside, and safely in your home. It was a shame that most of the people your age were bounty hunters. You were all in all lonely. Maybe that’s what led you to agree to getting to know Loki.
You assumed he was around your age. He claimed to be a god after all, so he must be more than the average person.
Dinner rolled around and you went to the palace to eat as you did everyday. Loki was there. Though you knew he would be. You weren’t used to his presence just yet, so every time you saw him you were still slightly surprised. You were used to being around the ‘royalty’ of Sakaar for years and attending the same mundane events all the time. Loki was something new, something fresh. That’s why he was such a buzz on Sakaar. Especially when he made such an impression on the Grandmaster.
After the meal you went home and waited for Loki. You knew he would have to tell the Grandmaster some excuse for him to leave, so he was going to be a few minutes behind you.
Ten minutes after you had arrived home the door opened and Loki walked in. You couldn't help but laugh when you saw the exasperated expression on his face. You knew just how tiring the Grandmaster could be. Upon hearing the ring of your laughter Loki smiled. It was the first time he heard you make that sound and thought it was beautiful.
He slung his hair out of his face and slid into the white bar stool next to you at the kitchen island. You already had two glasses of champagne ready for the two of you. Assuming you would need it.
"What did you have to tell him to let you leave?" you asked, raising the glass to your lips.
"Well I told him I was tired and he just laughed it off then I said I was having an upset stomach and wasn't doing so well down there and he let me go."
Neither of you could hold back laughter. You were the first to start cracking up and seeing your reaction influenced Loki's joyous noise. The atmosphere was smooth and laid back. In preparation you had a drink beforehand, hence why you were so calm. Loki's smile and infectious attitude were also to blame.
In the time span of lunch and coming home you realized how ridiculous you were being. You had only just met Loki yesterday and you were already trying to accuse him of trying to harm the creator of your planet.
Once the laughter had died down you set your glass on the countertop and turned to Loki. "I'm sorry for how I've acted towards you. I haven't treated you fairly or given you a chance at all. I started jumping to conclusions and that was wrong of me. So I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me."
“Wow- I- Yes I can forgive you. I understand where you were coming from. You care about the Grandmaster and don't want him to be in danger. I think that’s very noble of you.” The corners of Loki’s eyes crinkled up as he looked at you with a soft smile.
“Well… thank you. I’m glad we’re on good terms.” You gave him an awkward smile and took another sip of your drink. Loki picked up his own and took a sip of it.
"So your father and the Grandmaster… are they together?" he asked once his glass was empty.
“I’m not entirely sure. They’re relationship is complicated. I know they call each other love and darling but they also flirt and do things with other people too.” You cringed at the memory of coming home and hearing your father with one of his friends. But beside you Loki let out a chuckle. He was really enjoying getting to see this new side of you.
With a final tip of your flute you had finished your drink. Looking over you realized that Loki had too, so you stood and refilled it.
“I just realized I didn’t ask you if you wanted another glass,” you said when you had finished pouring.
He waved you off. “Don’t worry, I do.”
You slid his flute across the counter and leaned on it, not bothering to go back around to sit on the stool again. “So, you said that you ended up here by accident… what did you mean by that?”
“Ah, trying to find out if I’m lying again? I thought this was behind us,” he said.
“I’m not asking because of that. It is behind us. I want to know more about you and what you were doing before you got to Sakaar.”
He nodded. “Well I was with my brother. Though I don’t know why he hasn’t gotten here yet.”
“Time works differently here,” you interjected. “So if you both came through at the same time he might get here later than you did.”
“Ah okay, well that explains it then. Anyways, I was with my brother, Thor. My sister, Hela, has cast us out of Asgard and we need to get back there and defeat her. We don’t stand a chance though,” he explained.
“If you need help getting there then I’m sure my father and I can be of assistance.”
“I think I should wait for Thor to arrive, whenever that is…” he trailed off.
“He could show up any day. But while you’re here you can hang out with me.” “When you’re not with the Grandmaster that is,” you added.
“I don’t know how often I’ll be able to get away from him but I’ll definitely try.”
The last drops of your champagne slid down your throat as you smiled against your glass. You were really looking forward to getting to spend time with Loki.
For the next few days after that you guys were together any chance you got. The Grandmaster was keeping Loki close, but he was able to make up excuses to come see you when he could. Loki was like a breath of fresh air in your life. His life was a lot different than yours, but you found yourselves relating in multiple ways.
Every time you two were together all you could do was smile. It was like you had found your first true friend. But you knew that when Thor came that Loki would be leaving. Even though it was wrong you hoped that Thor wouldn’t arrive for a while just so you could have more time together.
It was a little over a week since Loki had arrived and you were laying next to each other on your leisure ship, staring up at the stars.
“It’s beautiful, everything here is,” Loki whispered. You were looking straight above you but when Loki was speaking he had turned his head towards you.
“It’s strange isn’t it? It’s called the trash or garbage planet but it’s dazzling if you take the time to look around.” When you finished speaking you rolled your head to the side to look at Loki. The whole time you were speaking he was memorizing every part of your face with a smile on his own. When you saw him smiling you shyly smiled too.
Without you realizing Loki reached his hand over and found yours. When he did he took it and interlocked your fingers. You looked down at your entwined hands. Your heart was racing and butterflies were filling your stomach.
No words were spoken, it was just the two of you underneath a blanket of twinkling stars wishing for something more. Loki’s hand was warm in yours, and you wished that same warmth would envelop your whole body. You scooted over closer and closer to the man until he wrapped his arm around you.
“This is nice,” you mumbled against his chest.
“It is. I like having you in my arms,” Loki whispered back.
You let your eyes close and the warmth and blissful feeling take over you. You woke up in bed, wrapped up in your covers. The sun was shining and filtering through your windows and splaying out on your floor. You thought back to last night and remembered you must have fallen asleep, which meant Loki must have taken you home and carried you to bed.
You walked out of your bedroom and stood right outside your door. You weren’t sure what time it was. It was morning that was obvious. Maybe it was early enough that Loki hadn’t been summoned by the Grandmaster yet. You walked over to the bedroom next to your own and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Loki called out.
You opened the door and gently shut it back when you entered. Loki was still in bed but he was awake.
“Good morning beautiful,” he greeted you.
A tired smile went across your face as you sat down on Loki’s bed. He reached out to you and pulled you into him, setting you flush against his frame and placing a kiss on top of your head.
“How did you sleep?” he asked.
“I slept well. Thank you for bringing me back home.”
“It was my pleasure.” Loki tilted his head down and kissed the top of your head once more. His actions were so sweet you were feeling things you had never felt before. It was wild to you how quickly you had fallen for the God of Mischief.
After laying together for a few minutes there was a knock at the front door. You sighed and got out of Loki’s bed. The guards had arrived to escort Loki and you to breakfast with the Grandmaster. You both hurriedly got dressed and left to start your day.
For another two weeks things ran smoothly. You were happy. Loki was making you happy. But you knew that the day that Thor would arrive was approaching. It had been three weeks since Loki himself had fallen onto the planet, meaning his brother was not far behind.
You were sitting with Loki and mingling with other people in one of the palace rooms when Scrapper 142 announced she found someone. 142 was Grandmaster’s favorite scrapper. She brought him his champion after all. The person she had brought came into the room in the usual reinforced chair that all contenders usually did.
Loki was sitting next to you not paying any attention and neither were you until the man started yelling Loki’s name. You looked at him with confusion before you realized, it must be Thor.
When Thor finally got Loki’s attention he immediately stopped talking and got up. They were whispering back and forth fervently until the Grandmaster came up to them and interjected. They talked for a minute before Thor was thrown into the holding area for gladiators.
“That was your brother wasn’t it? Thor?” you asked when Loki came back over to you.
“Yes, yes it was.” He lowered himself back onto the couch and stayed quiet.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just… wasn’t expecting him.”
“Oh, okay.” You nodded. Not only did you understand but you felt the same way. You hoped maybe Thor would show up later, and give you more time. But no. He was there and when given the chance he was definitely going to leave. But that wouldn’t be too soon. If he was fighting the Grandmaster’s champion he may never leave. You had seen the green monster in action and he was brutal.
Later that day you and Loki were sitting in the upper class stands at the Grand Arena watching the fights. Loki was constantly wiping his palms on his pants and his leg was bouncing up and down. He had never seen the champion fight but you had told him how ferocious he was and that made Loki nervous.
The Grandmaster announced Thor and when he came out onto the dirt the crowd was filled with ‘boos’ and other jeers. The ring around the bottom of the stadium begins to rise to accommodate the height of Thor's opponent and the Grandmaster started to announce him.
“Ladies and gentlemen I give you… your Incredible…” he trailed off, or at least you thought he did because before he could say the actual name the fighter burst through the doors and yelled, “HULK!”
The blood drained from Loki’s face next to you. “I’ve got to get off this planet,” he mumbled.
“Why what’s wrong?” you asked, worried.
“The Grandmaster’s champion is an Avenger, just like Thor. And he’s defeated me.”
Down on the dirt Thor had looked up into your box and was yelling, “We know each other! He’s a friend from work.”
The Grandmaster’s mouth dropped open and he looked over at Loki, who was staring straight forward and clearing his throat.
Thor was making small talk with Hulk before you heard him look over and shout again, “Loki! Look who it is!”
You’d never seen Loki so nervous and afraid. You reached over and placed a hand on his arm. “It’ll be okay.”
Down below Hulk was tired of hearing Thor talk and started running towards him. The fight was in full force and Loki was getting more nervous by the second. Hulk was in it to win it, and he wasn’t sure if his brother would be able to make it out. Surprisingly Thor was able to hit Hulk, sending him all across the barrier on the arena. The crowd was silent as Thor neared Hulk. He placed his hand in Hulk’s massive one and started speaking, but you couldn’t tell what he was saying.
They weren’t fighting and everyone was still and watching. Then Hulk grabbed Thor and swung him back and forth, hitting him against the ground countless times. Loki jumped up, startling you, and shouted, “Yes that’s how it feels!”
The Grandmaster looked over at him questionably and Loki responded with, “I’m just a huge fan of the sport.” The Grandmaster didn’t say anything, just turned back toward the arena and laughed.
Loki sat back down and you looked at him with your eyebrows raised, “What was that about?”
“Well… Hulk did that to me a few years ago.”
“Really?” you laughed.
“Yes. It wasn’t one of my finest moments,” he chuckled. You both settled back down on the couch and focused on the match again. The fight progressed and favor switched between Hulk and Thor for a minute or two. The Grandmaster and Loki were leaning in and cringing depending on the blow and who it had landed on. But things weren’t looking good for Thor. Hulk had him pinned down and was beating him to death.
Blow after blow was pounding down right on Thor’s face. Then something happened. You strained your eyes to see that Thor’s eyes began to glow and lighting began to glow and crackle all around his body. He seemed to gather his strength for a second, wind back his hand and land a punch right to Hulk, sending him flying with an arch of lightning, resulting in a collective gasp from the stands.
Hulk collapsed yards away from Thor. The Grandmaster raised out of his seat, stepped forward and stared at the scene below you. The crowd was murmuring and whispering all kinds of things. You looked over at Loki, who had his elbows propped up on his knees with his mouth wide open.
Thor and Hulk both stood up and ran towards each other, jumping and then hitting one another. It was like a mini-explosion where Thor’s fist collided with Hulk. You were on the edge of your seat. It seemed like Thor could win. The crowd sure seemed to think so because they were chanting, “Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!”
Your full attention was drawn on the arena and a perplexed expression crossed your face when Thor violently shook and then fell to the ground. You looked around and saw the Grandmaster pointing his activator down at Thor, activating his Obedience Disk. You couldn’t believe it. If the Grandmaster wouldn’t have interfered then Thor could have won. He could be freed.
The Grandmaster stood up with a smile and started his projection onto the center of the arena, “Well done! Well done! Two very good fighters, but it looks like my champion has defended his title once again. Thank you everyone for attending today, I hope to see you at the next battle!”
His projection disappeared and people started to file out of the stands. You could tell by the silence that followed that the Grandmaster wasn’t too happy. He walked out of the room followed by guards, leaving everyone else alone. Loki was leaning back on the couch next to you slack-jawed.
“That wasn’t fair,” you breathed out.
He shook his head, “No, no it wasn’t.”
“At least he didn’t die. He should be okay for now,” you said, talking about Thor.
“Thank god.”
You and Loki returned home and sat down on the living room couch. You never got the chance to talk about Thor’s arrival but now no one else was around.
“You might be leaving soon,” you said.
“I may.” Loki reached his hand over and took one of yours in his. You couldn’t mistake the sadness in his voice.
“I won’t make you stay. If you need to go then you should.” You looked at Loki with pure earnestness in your eyes. It hurt to say it, but if Loki and his brother needed to leave then you didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t.
“Y/N I don’t want to go. I want to stay here… with you.”
“What about your sister? Didn’t you say she was trying to take over Asgard, your home?” you questioned with a soft voice.
“Yes but- we don’t stand a chance. If we go we’ll only die. There’s no hope for us.”
You faced your whole body towards him and dipped your head down so Loki could see your face. “You don’t know that. You’re strong and I know you aren’t a coward.”
He stayed quiet but squeezed your hand and met your eyes.
“If you need to go, don’t let me hold you back,” you repeated.
Loki strained up and gave a stern look forward as he nodded his head. “You’re right. I do need to go. Asgard is my home.” He bent his head towards you and spoke, “But I want to make my time with you count.” He leaned in and tilted his head, eyes trained on your lips. You also leaned in and closed your eyes, letting yourself dissolve into the tender kiss.
It heated up quickly, pants filling the air between you every time you parted. You crawled on top of him, straddling his lap. His hands glided from your shoulder blades to your butt, caressing you.
You pulled away and opened your eyes for a second, your face only inches from his. “Should we take this to my room?”
“Yes, we should.” Loki raised up, holding you in his arms and carrying you to your room. You slid out of his arms right in front of the foot of your bed. He started undressing, pulling off his cape, boots, and other components of his complicated outfit. Yours was much easier to get off. All you did was kick off your slippers and undo your dress in the back and let it pool at your feet.
The whole process took a few minutes and you giggled when you had to help Loki undress.
“This is a mood killer,” Loki sighed.
“It’s okay,” you giggled. You pulled off the last garment including Loki’s underwear and he turned around to let you see him. He was so beautiful, every single thing about him. You could definitely believe he was a god, because he sure looked like one. Your wandering eyes made him chuckle, but he couldn’t say anything because he was doing the same.
His hands hovered over your hips, almost like he was afraid to touch you or else you would crumble in front of him. You smiled up Loki and put your hands over his, guiding them to your bare skin. He sharply inhaled as he felt how smooth and warm your skin was. He let out a small laugh in disbelief. He couldn’t imagine himself ever being so lucky as to have you.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss you. He lifted you up again and walked over to your bed until his knees hit the edge. He crawled on and lowered you down onto the fluffy pillows. Your body was on display for him and he was completely swooning over you.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in awe.
“And you,” you reached up and pulled him closer to you by his shoulders, “are very handsome.”
He smiled and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Since he was already down there he crept lower and lower, placing gentle kisses from your cheek all the way down to your lower stomach. Your breath hitched as his breath fanned over your vagina. He gave it a small kiss before he leaned back. He replaced his mouth with his fingers, sliding them up and down your folds before inserting one.
He surveyed your face as he began to curl his finger making you start moaning quietly.
“Does it feel good?” he asked tentatively.
“Yes,” you moaned out.
He smiled and continued to work you up, building the pressure inside your lower stomach. You couldn’t keep your eyes open. You tried to, but with all the new feelings going on you were squeezing them shut. Loki frowned and cupped your cheek with his hand, rubbing it with his thumb.
“Princess, will you look at me?” he asked. You opened your eyes and did as he asked. You kept your eyes open but your lids were only half open.
You loved the way his fingers felt but you wanted more- you wanted him. “Loki- Loki I want you inside me.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”
He pulled his fingers out and wrapped that hand around his cock, pumping it and getting it ready to be inside you. He spread your legs further than they already were and walked forward on his knees until his tip was right against your entrance. You put his hand around it and guided it in slowly, letting you adjust to the length.
Your hands were on either side of your pillow and you were squeezing it. It wasn’t very painful, but it didn’t feel right to just have your hands open, so you clenched them around your silk pillowcase. Loki saw them and put his own hands on top of yours. As he rolled his hips into you that’s what kept him stable.
“Darling, you make me feel-” he moaned, “so good.”
The inside of you was warm and velvety, encasing his dick in a personal heaven. In just a few minutes he knew what was going to come. Him.
Loki was making you feel just as good as you were making him, if not better. You weren’t a virgin. You had lived long enough to want men and take them back home with you. But none of them were making you feel the way Loki was. He knew exactly what to do, what pace to go at, and all the right words to say. The gentle moans and vulnerable face were so beautiful above you that tears were staining your cheeks.
Worry crossed Loki’s face, he thought you were hurting. “Are you okay?” he asked quickly.
“I’m fine, you’re just- you’re so beautiful.”
He choked out a laugh and regained his original pace. The compliment had warmed his entire body. He was on cloud nine. There was a growing sensation in his lower region and he could feel his orgasm coming.
“I’m about to cum,” he panted.
“Go ahead darling, cum for me,” you returned. His eyes widened but he went ahead, cock stiffening before releasing his cum.
You moaned, head falling to the side from the buzz traveling through your body. You arched your back in an attempt to hurry your own orgasm along. You could feel it approaching but it couldn’t get there soon enough for you. Loki thrusted faster and tried to hit that spot that he knew you had. He succeeded, and an overwhelming pleasure drifted through you.
Your walls clenched around his dick and your own juices squirted out. You sniffed and wiped your tears, opening your eyes to see Loki’s face in complete and utter amazement. You laughed a little as he pulled out of you and rolled over to be by your side.
“What was that face for?” you asked.
“That was the best I’ve ever felt. You are… perfect in every way.”
“I feel the same about you.” You turned on your side and placed a hand on his cheek, just like he had done to you a few minutes prior.
He nuzzled closer to you, putting his face in the crook of your neck. “I’ll come back for you. I promise,” he whispered.
“I’ll be waiting,” you responded while stroking his hair.
Taglist: @deanscroissant
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alrightberries · 3 years
Text
honey, honey (how you thrill me)
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request: i loved strawberries and cigarettes but levi just can’t catch a break :(( can we have a super fluffy modern au with boyfriend levi instead? thanks!
request: hi i’m new here and had read your fics. i love your take on levi’s character! Also that your writing is very great to read!😘 (tho that angst really made me cry HARD) if i may request umm... i want a levi x reader fic about them being like an old married couple but they’re not in a relationship ‘yet’ so like everyone ships them. Its a fluffy crack fic/ Reader is like “well you’re clean and I kinda lilke you so...” then levi be like “you’re tolerable and knows how to properly clean.” and then they really ended up married. It’s like the easiest transition from friends to lovers that one day they just said lets get married we act like it anyway whats new 😂. I want fluffs and laughs! Aot is angsty enough we need fluffs with our favorite characters!!
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❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader
❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack.  ❈ word count: 4.6k
❈ summary: modern au. In which you and Levi are both professors at the same university, and are painfully unaware that all the students and other staff members have a bet that’s been going on for years now. What’s it about? When you’ll both finally confess to each other and just date already.
❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of sex
a/n: made it gender neutral as per usual. this was really fun to write! makes me think about writing fluff more often (pffft sure)
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Trost University was home to many brilliant minds. It was a prestigious school with an acceptance rate of 600 out of 4000 yearly applicants, and producing the finest students; those of which would almost always graduate with high honors before starting a successful career of their choosing.
Its professors, undoubtedly, were of the finest quality as well. They were professional, extremely skilled, and highly trained. It was a workforce full of almost over qualified educators excelling in their respective fields, with master and PhD certificates framed on cubicle walls being the norm in the faculty room.
Erwin himself was proud to be a professor here. He started working as a high school teacher when he was still studying for his master’s degree, shifting from high school teachings to college teachings as years passed by, before eventually getting recognized and offered a job seven years ago by the prestigious school.
His friends— a loving and longterm couple who, as far as he knew, were high school sweethearts and still going strong today— had joined him on this journey as well. He’d known them since they were in college, all studying different fields but aiming for the same career of teaching.
The three of them shared a strong bond; a bond built on study groups, mutual dislike for crappy teachers, and a certain love for education. They were there for him, and he was there for them. He especially disliked it, however, when their relationship went through rough patches. He didn’t like picking sides, and listening to the same story being told from two different perspectives almost always made him want to grab Y/N and Levi’s heads and bash them together for how dumb they were acting.
But despite the differences and occasional fights, he wouldn’t hesitate to say that he trusted them with his life.
So Erwin, for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why he was just now finding out that the power couple he knew and loved wasn’t even a couple at all.
“So, wait.” He speaks, trying to be heard over the crowded cafeteria chatter. “You’re telling me... they’re not a longterm couple?”
“They’re not.” Moblit confirms easily. “Apparently, they’re not even dating.”
“Or so they claim.” Hange interjects. “Y/N and Levi have actual matching rings. Literally— I asked Levi about it once and he said Y/N was his fiancé.”
“But not romantically.” Moblit quickly adds on. “I was there too, he said not romantically.”
“Why would Levi propose to someone he’s not romantically interested in, huh?!” She counters back, a little louder than the brown haired man’s volume.
“I don’t know! Citizenship? Money? Sex—“
“They’re in love! You know they’re in love, you’re just denying it because you want to get in Y/N’s pants.” She huffs. “And because you’re about to lose the bet.”
Erwin’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Bet? What bet?”
“Oh, you don’t know about the bet?” Hange asks. “It’s been going on for, like, five years now. The entire faculty’s in on it.” She begins to chow down on her soup, not offering more of an explanation. Moblit takes this as his cue to expand when he notices Erwin’s blank stare.
“Since you guys joined maybe... seven or so years ago? Everyone just assumed Y/N and Levi were a thing. Because of, y’know, the way they interact with each other. But then five years ago Hange and I asked them when their anniversary was so we could get them some wine, and both of them full on denied even being in a relationship.”
Hange nods, more than a spoonful of soup and a more than generous bite of bread in her mouth. “Yeah, but then I peaked at their faculty files—“
“Peaked at their faculty files?” Erwin murmurs, but he’s ignored.
“—and they have the same home address. They live together!”
“I can confirm that much, at least.” The blonde man answers thoughtfully. “They’ve been sharing a dorm since college but Y/N moved out at some point. They live together in Levi’s apartment now, though.”
“That doesn’t prove anything.” Says Moblit. “They could just be roommates and really good friends.”
“Well I’ll say!” Hange throws her hands in the air. “I caught Y/N sucking Levi’s dick at a party once. Must be one hell of a friendship they have, aye Moblit?”
Her elbow begins nudging the brunette beside her, and Erwin stares with amusement when Moblit starts getting irritated from the eccentric woman’s teasing.
“So what’s the wager?” Erwin asks.
The two professors stop their bickering and share an evil smile. Hange gestures for Erwin to come closer, as if she were about to tell him a secret, and he does just that.
“Whoever wins the bet gets a free meal from Shaw’s Bistro.”
Erwin’s eyes widen. Shaw’s Bistro; the classy high end restaurant with the fancy wine, fancier atmosphere, and the best Japanese Salted Salmon he’s ever had.
It was an expensive restaurant— even for someone with his salary. Erwin knew he could rarely ever eat there unless he wanted to run his bank account dry. And he concludes that this petty bet must be a Pretty Big Fucking Deal.
He squints his eyes. “I’m listening.”
Hange giggles as she continues. “Basically, you have to guess how long it’ll take for Y/N and Levi to finally admit they’re couple. But you can’t choose the same answer as other people in the bet, we can’t afford two winners. Literally.” She gestures to Moblit. “Unless you’re like dumb dumb over there who wagered they’ll never admit it because they’re not a couple—“
“They’re not!”
“—I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
Erwin nods his head, one hand on his chin in thought. He never did explicitly ask whether they were dating or not, he just assumed they were.
He carefully considers his options; be a snoop to his longterm friends and possibly break their trust for joining a foolish bet? Or Japanese Salted Salmon from Shaw’s Bistro?
Hange and Moblit look at him expectantly, smiling when he nods.
“Deal me in.”
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The cafeteria was noisy when you walked in.
Students mingled amongst themselves, chatting idly about academics and gossip. Cutlery scraped against each other as people took bites of their meals. Your eyes scanned the crowd, spotting your friends sitting around their usual table and having what seemed to be a heated discussion.
You turned to look at the man beside you. “Did you bring your own lunch today?”
Levi nods as he lifts up a small black bag. “Always do. But I’ll stand next to you in the lunch line so you don’t look like a loner.”
That was Levi Speak for I’ll wait for you.
You smile. “Thanks.”
The brief silence between you is broken when you start talking about your students— how proud you were that Armin was tutoring some of the struggling students in his free time, how terrible Jean was at hiding his crush on Mikasa, how terrible Mikasa was at hiding her crush on Eren (“I don’t even think she’s trying to hide it. At this point, I’m convinced that Eren is either dumb or dense.”)
Levi nods along to your tales, seemingly uninterested and bored. But anyone who knew him well would know he was listening intently as you spoke, every word heard loud and clear and processing in his mind as soon as they left your lips. Occasionally, he would pipe in with his own comments (“Eren’s just dumb.”) but he didn’t engage too much, opting to let you speak and rant on.
Your talkativeness never got on his nerves, contrary to popular belief. He liked listening to your stories, listening to your voice, and seeing the little glint in your eyes when you start talking passionately about your students. He overall just liked being around you. You were cleaner than most people he knew. You were tolerable. Sometimes a pain in the ass, but still tolerable.
But what does get on his nerves, however, is being ‘secretly’ watched by his friends.
Once he’s sure you’re not looking, he turns his head in the direction of their table, murderous glare prominent on his face. Hange, Moblit, and Erwin quickly snap their heads down and pretend to eat, but Levi knew they were definitely staring.
“Oh crap, I forgot my free meal card.” He hears you mumble beside him. He hadn’t even realized you were already standing in front of the counter.
“Figures. You have the memory of a gold fish.” Levi comments off-handedly. 
He hands the cashier his free meal card and grabs your tray for you, and you silently took the coat that Levi had swung over his arm to carry with you instead. You knew he’d hate for it to get dirtied by any accidental soup splashing.
“So, what’s happening on your end of the gossip?” You ask, both making your way to your usual table with friends.
Levi shrugs. “The brats are doing well on their thesis. Their grammar is shit though; makes you wonder how they graduated high school.”
You snicker. “You say that now but tomorrow pull an all-nighter to help them study and revise.”
“You’re not one talk. You scheduled two different consultations between classes and three more after your shift.”
“I can’t help it, okay?! You know I have a soft spot for the kids from the 104th.”
Of course he did. He knew of your affection for that specific group of students— admittedly, he held a twinge of affection for them too.
They were part of the first class you ever taught in your entire teaching career. At the time, you both worked at some crappy school in the 104th district. And to see the kids now, all grown up and studying at a prestigious college, it made your heart swell. And Levi’s heart... well, suffice to say it cracked some of the ice around it.
“That soft spot of yours is making you lose sleep.” He scolds. “I’ll take some of the consultations off your hands. The lil shits deserve a teacher who isn’t half asleep.”
Again, that was Levi Speak for Don’t overwork yourself, let me help.
You jokingly slap his arm. “That’s rude!”
“I know.”
Your conversation is interrupted when you finally arrived at the table, Levi setting down your tray in front of you and you handing him back his coat as you sat down next to each other.
“Hey.” You greet your friends, and Levi silently unpacks his lunch. “What were you guys talking about? It looked pretty intense.”
“Oh, nothing, nothing.” Hange waved off. “Just the usual. Grading papers, grading lab experiments, grading essays. The usual.”
You nod, unconvinced but letting it slide. “I see.”
The table is once again filled with laughter and conversations. Banter was thrown around here and there, mostly between you, Hange, and Moblit as you debated about films and TV shows. Levi and Erwin stuck to light chatter, but it didn’t go unnoticed to the shorter man when Erwin’s eyes squinted as Levi placed his arm around the back of your chair like he always did, or when Hange tried to hide her squeal when he wiped some excess soup from the corner of your lips.
Something was up.
It was about ten minutes into lunch when your phone began to ring, a notification from a reminder app you downloaded. You picked up your phone and sighed as you read your schedule.
“Gotta go. I have a meeting in a few.” You mutter, beginning to clean up your tray and utensils; you were a little disappointed. You didn’t even get to finish your soup.
Levi eyes you and the way you kept glancing back and forth between your soup and the clock. He sighs before he speaks, “I’ll take care of your dishes and buy you lunch later. Just go.”
“No, no, I can— fuck!” You yell when the bowl of soup is accidentally knocked over, spilling over your jacket.
Levi silently offers you his handkerchief to clean yourself up. He starts using napkins to clean the table as well, before taking the coat he brought and giving it to you.
“Use this for now.”
You smile at him once again, taking your coat off and slipping on his as you stood up. “Thanks.”
He doesn’t flinch (or react for that matter) when you kiss his cheek before you left, only letting out a small hum of acknowledgement as you waved goodbye to your friends and made your way to the meeting.
Once you were out of view, Hange’s smile immediately drops in favor of too serious eyes as she starts interrogating Levi.
“Okay, cut the crap, Ackerman. How long have you—“
“Hange, no, we’ve talked about this.” Erwin tries to reason but his pleas fall on deaf ears as she continues.
“How long have you and Y/N been dating?”
Ah. So that’s what it was about.
Levi sighs and continues to chew on his bread. He unenthusiastically stares at the woman yelling at him, swallowing his meal before speaking, “I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again: we’re not.”
“Bullshit!” She yells. “You guys are a disgusting old married couple who have two adopted children—“
“Dogs.” Levi corrects boredly, but just like everyone else at the table, he’s ignored as Hange continues her tirade.
“—have matching sweaters, do small bullshit for each other like paying for meals and lending your coats. And for god’s sake, they literally just kissed your cheek even though you hate human contact.”
She finishes her rant but Levi looks unphased. God, she wanted to punch his dumb and oblivious face so bad.
“Those are normal things normal friends do. I’m not surprised you wouldn’t know, four-eyes.” Says Levi, but Hange is unaffected and already used to his abrasive words.
Levi continues. “We don’t do anything beyond what’s considered friendship.”
Hange squints her eyes in suspicion. “Didn’t Y/N move into your apartment?”
“Yeah. Their landlord was shit.”
“Where I caught you having sex?”
“We’re fuck buddies and you don’t know how to knock.”
“But you introduced them to your mom as your fiancé?”
“I lied so she would stop bugging me about getting married.”
“You literally have a shared bank account and a shared retirement fund!”
“It’s easier to keep track of.”
“Damn it, Levi!”
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Armin stares at the study guide in front of him, mind half processing the words and half... not. Quite frankly, he starts to wonder if the papers you’d given him were written in gibberish or some dead language no one spoke anymore.
You see him struggle to understand the sheet of paper in front of him, and sigh.
“Need a little help there, Armin?” You offer but he shakes his head. “I’m okay. I think I can understand this if I read through it more, it’s my friends I’m worried about.”
He glances beside him where the rest of his study group also stared the papers, each face painted with a unique mixture of confusion and dread.
You weren’t surprised, however. The readings for this module were quite complex, and the fact that your brightest students— Armin and Mikasa— were struggling with it made you feel a little bit hopeless for the rest of your class. Truth be told, even though you taught this topic countless of times, you weren’t entirely sure how to simplify it without leaving out too much information.
“Okay, how about this, we could—“ A soft knock interrupts your sentence, and you stare at the students in front of you to remember if you were expecting any more. It seemed like everyone was here, however, so you weren’t sure who was at the door.
“It’s me.” Came Levi’s voice, almost like he heard your inner monolgue.
“Come in!” You called out, focus shifting back to the paper in front of you as you heard the door open and close.
Okay, so I guess I could take this part and summarize it for them? Or would that still be too complicated? No, maybe I can—
“Ah, it’s that topic.” Levi mumurs, snapping you out of your thoughts. His face was directly next to yours as he stared intently at the papers you held. “No wonder you all look like you’re about to crap your pants.”
“Language, Levi. Not in front of the students.” You scold.
“They curse more than I do.”
“Still.”
He ignores your comment as he hands you a brown paper bag, pulling a chair out to sit next to you. He grabs the paper from your hands to look over the study guide you prepared, undoubtedly trying to figure out a way to simplify it as well.
“What’s this?” You ask, opening the paper bag.
“Bought you dinner.” He replies, eyes not leaving the paper in front of him. “I figured you’d forget again.”
As if on cue, your stomach suddenly starts feeling empty. It was impossible that you were hungry, though. You just had lunch. And after lunch you had some meetings to attend to, a couple classes, some last minute consultations, and— okay. Maybe it’d been a couple hours since lunch, but it couldn’t be that bad. A brief glance at the clock confirms that—
“Holy shit, it’s almost 8pm.”
“Language, Y/N. Not in front of the students.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“Gladly.”
The students in front of you let out a loud groan, faces over exaggeratedly contorted in disgust at your and Levi’s conversation.
Levi glimpses up at them and raises his eyebrow in question, while you jokingly roll your eyes.
“Alright, I think we should continue our consultation another time.” You said, beginning to pack up your teaching materials as the students did the same. “It’s getting late and curfew’s at 8pm. I’d better not see any of you outside the dorms.”
You knew you would though. It’s Friday night, there’s a bar across the street, and they’re teenagers. What could possibly go wrong?
You turn to Levi and hand him the keys. “You go ahead to the car, I’ll finish packing up.”
“It’s alright, I’ll wait for you in the hallway.” Levi takes the car keys as he stands up, walking out the door once again and leaving you alone with your students.
As you began to arrange your papers and clear the table, you start to remind them, “Okay, so we can discuss chapters—“
“Are you and Professor Ackerman dating?” Eren asks curiously, earning a shove from Jean and a silent threat to shut up, dumbass.
You chuckle. “No, Eren. We’re not.”
He gives you a doubtful look, one which you only return with a curious face.
“What’s with that look?” You ask, and he shrugs.
“You should date him— ow, what?!” He speaks, getting shoved by both Reiner and Jean this time before Mikasa pulls them off of him. You pause from your task.
“Okay, I’ll humor you. Why should I date him?”
The students share a look, daring each other to respond to your bold question. A few tense moments pass by and you smugly continue packing your papers. Yeah, you figured no one would—
“He’s nicer when he’s with you.” To your surprise, it was Mikasa who answers.
Unsure how to answer but still wanting to remain professional, you nod your head without looking up from your task. “Duly noted. Now go on, I know you have parties to attend to. I won’t hold you here much longer.”
The students laughed as they said their goodbyes; you held the door open for them until everyone was out before you left as well, shutting down the lights and locking the room once more.
A warm hand makes its way to the small of your back, and you smile.
“Hey.” Levi greets.
“Hey.” You repeat. “You read to go?”
“Yeah.”
“Wanna share my dinner when we get back home?”
“...yeah.”
He takes the stack of paper from your arms, his free hand reaching out for your own. You walked down the hallway in relative silence, interlocked hands swinging slightly from every step.
From the opposite corner of the hallway, the students’ prying eyes observe the small interaction; the two professors remained completely unaware that they were being watched.
“Told you they were a thing.” Ymir gloats, and the group snickers as Reiner irritatedly hands her some money.
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Something was wrong.
If there was one thing Erwin knew from the nearly two decade long friendship he shared with you and Levi, it was when something was wrong.
It didn’t go unnoticed to him when Levi didn’t open your side of the car door as he usually would when you arrived at the parking lot; when he made a beeline for his cubicle in the faculty instead of helping you get settled first; when you didn’t make a fresh pot of tea for him before classes started; when your small sweet gestures throughout the day were kept to a minimal; and most importantly, when neither you nor Levi wore your matching gold rings.
The faculty was nearly empty, save for himself, Hange, Moblit, and the two people who were having a lover’s quarrel. The entire day went by without seeing you two walk side by side like you usually would, and Erwin was pretty sure Levi’s permanent frown somehow got deeper.
Yeah. Something was horribly wrong.
“Pssst.” Erwin hears from the desk next to his. He turns around and is met with Hange and Moblit’s curious gazes.
“The hell happened to those two? Trouble in paradise?” Hange asks, eyeing Y/N and Levi’s grouchy faces and refusal to acknowledge each others’ existence as they each packed their things. She adds on, “Are they getting divorced?” Only to be reminded by Moblit that “They’re not dating.”
Erwin shrugs, answering Hange’s question. “No idea.”
Moblit chimes in, “I heard Petra tried asking Levi out yesterday and now Y/N is jealous.” 
She scoffs. “Y/N isn’t the jealous type. Besides, Petra’s part of the bet so that means she thinks they’re going to get together.”
“I’m part of the bet and I don’t think they’re going to get together.” Moblit points out. “And Petra stares at Levi the way Levi stares at Y/N.”
“Full of disdain and irritation?” Hange asks.
“No,” Erwin finally interjects. “Full of love and admiration.”
“Can the three of you creeps keep your mouths shut?” Hange, Erwin, and Moblit’s heads snapped to the direction of the voice, eyes meeting a pissed off Levi with a pissed off Y/N beside him. It seems like their hushed whispering wasn’t so hushed at all. 
“When you gossip about our private life the least you could do is wait until we’ve left the room.” You gritted.
“No, it wasn’t-” Hange tries to defend herself but is cut off by Levi, “We already heard you talking. Now out with it before I change my mind about letting this slide.”
The three guilty professors sigh, sharing a look before Erwin decides to come clean. “We’re concerned for you.” He starts. “You’ve been ignoring each other the entire day and whatever this fight is, it’s the worst one I’ve seen you have.”
You sigh. “Listen, it’s not that we don’t appreciate your concern, it’s just that-”
“-it’s just that it’s none of your goddamn business.” Levi interjects and you immediately glare at his rudeness. 
“Shut it, Levi. I don’t have time for your bull.”
“And I don’t have time for your petty lies.”
The three watched as you and Levi begin to quarrel, sharp words and irritated glares thrown around with each passing second. Your voices overlapped with each other as Erwin tried to make sense of what it was you were even fighting about, some words about betrayal in the highest degree and ruining a good thing and a relationship built on lies being the few words he understands. 
Finally, he has enough.
“Stop.” Erwin says loudly but firmly. The two of you pause from your bickering him and stare at him incredulously; he continues to speak, “We’re not teenagers anymore, we’re grown adults. I’m getting tired of playing mediator whenever you fight but if I have to do it again so you stop yelling, then I will.” 
He sighs. “Now what the hell are you two fighting about?”
“Y/N started it.” “Levi started it.” You say at the same time, and Erwin feels a headache coming but decides to ignore it.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
The two of you stare at each other angrily, almost daring the other to back down. This goes on for a few seconds before Levi finally sighs and speaks.
“Y/N thinks lemon scented detergent is better than lavender scented detergent.”
Hange and Moblit snicker but quickly shut up when Erwin gives them a look. He wasn’t even surprised that a fight as small and menial as this would be the fight that tears his favorite power couple apart.
“It is and you know it.” You reply defiantly and Levi groans in frustration, hand holding his head in disbelief as he quietly mutters, “I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who thinks lemon is better than lavender.”
At that, Hange’s ears perk up. “You’re getting married?!” She screams, and the two of you look at her in confusion, fight suddenly forgotten.
“Yeah, next week.” You reply wearily. “We emailed you the invites.”
If Erwin thought your bickering was loud, then the squeal that Hange let out was nothing short of deafening as she suddenly lunges at the couple, forcing them into a group hug as she cheers, “I knew it! I fucking knew it! You are together.”
Levi scoffs. “Don’t be silly, it’s for tax purposes. Apparently the bank won’t approve the loan for our new house unless we’re legally wed; something about tax fraud.”
“House?” Moblit echoes. “Don’t you already live together?”
You nod. “Yeah, but we figured the kids-”
“Dogs.” Levi corrects.
“-deserve a yard to run around in. Our apartment’s getting too cramped for the four of us.”
“Don’t ruin this for me!” Hange yells. “I have a wedding to plan.”
Levi sighs. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, four-eyes. There isn’t going to be a ceremony. We’re going to a court house to get our marriage license approved. That’s it.”
“And we invited you and Erwin to be our witnesses.” You explained. “There isn’t going to be a celebration but we’re going to host a small dinner party for close friends and family.We’d greatly appreciate it if you can RSVP to the emails within the week so we know how much food to prepare.”
The three professors nod, each exchanging pleasant smiles. It wasn’t the wedding invite they were hoping to receive but it was still a wedding invite nonetheless, and they weren’t about to burst your bubble.
“Hold on a second,” Erwin mutters, suddenly remembering one detail. “Where are your rings?” He gestures to your ringless hands.
“We had them engraved with our initials. Makes things more believable.” Levi answers. “If you’re done with the dumb questions, we’ll go ahead now.” 
He doesn’t wait for them to answer as he holds your hand in his, walking you out of the faculty room and into the hallway as he pretends not to notice his friends giggling like teenagers at the information you just shared.
“So...” You start, giving him a warm smile as you squeezed his hand. “Do you think they’re catching on?”
Levi lets out a rare smile, eyes softening as he looks at you. “No. They’re too dumb to know we’re actually together. They’ll eat up whatever bullshit explanation we come up with.”
“Okay, but remind me again why we have to keep pretending like we’re not actually together and not actually getting married next week?”
He brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles affectionately before placing his hand on the small of your back.
“Does it bother you that they don’t know?” He asks, and you hum as you think it through. “No. It’s actually really entertaining.” You laugh. “But why don’t you want them to know?”
He shrugs, pulling you closer to him. “That’s what they get for placing stupid bets.”
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Text
Reciprocal ❂ (M) || 2 of 2
A Manager!verse story Rating: Mature Genre(s): Fluff, Smut Pairing: Jongin x Reader Word Count: 3.8k Warning for sexual content. 
<< Previous Chapter
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Jongin had let go of your hand when the two of you reached the house, but he made up for it by spending the next few hours in easy conversation with you. You talked about everything and anything, from speculation on the relationships between the other managers to childhood aspirations. Jongin had long entertained dreams of dancing. No surprise there. But it had come as quite a shock to him to learn you had competitively speed skated and almost entered Taereung.
“Why'd you stop,” he asked. The two of you were sitting on the back patio nursing glasses of water.
“I sprained my ankle earlier in the year and spent a lot of the time hanging out with friends when I normally would've had practice. I didn't really miss it.
“Plus, I had a boyfriend,” you said with a little smile and reclined back in your chair.
“Ahhh,” Jongin responded. “So that's why.” He shot a you look. “You've never talked about dating before,” he said.
“It never felt like... It just didn't come up.” You'd had a few relationships over the last 5 years, but had never divulged that to him. You had done your best to maintain a certain professional distance. They'd never amounted to much anyways, either due to inattention, jealousy, or lack of passion. But it was hypocritical, wasn't it, when  you were aware of every relationship Jongin had had? He was the person you spent the most time with, unintentionally or not.
“There's nothing to even bring up now anyways,” you added softly.
Jongin hummed and was quiet for a long time. You bit your lip. Why'd you even bring that last bit up? You kept glancing at him, but you couldn't get a read on his expression.
But Jongin turned suddenly, a smile on his lips, and changed the topics. “So, are the managers planning anything for Chanyeol's enlistment?”
You relaxed tentatively into the question. Soon, the tension dispersed, forgotten, and by the end of the conversations your mood had lightened considerably. For the first time, you really felt as if this was a vacation to enjoy rather than a detox to suffer through.
**
Dinner that night was a spirited affair. While Jongin showered before the meal, you busied yourself with setting places. You had pushed the coffee table closer to the fire and arranged pillows around it. A bottle of cab was open on the table to breathe.
Just as you set the glasses down, Jongin emerged from his room. His hair was still damp, you noticed, and his skin had the flush of the freshly bathed. He was in his pajamas, a towel bunched around his neck, sleep shirt unbuttoned and pants hanging low on his hips.
Your heart must have convulsed. Briskly, you turned away and gathered the plates of bœuf bourguignon with a white-knuckled grip. “Dinner's ready,” you called over your shoulder.
“This is cozy,” he remarked. You heard the rustle of fabric as he settled into the pillows.
Heaven help you, you prayed.
**
Over the course of dinner, the two of you finished the bottle. Jongin sat next to you now, having migrated from the opposite side of the table at some point in the meal. The two of you were laughing because your arms kept getting in each other's ways as you ate—he was a righty to your lefty. Eventually, Jongin got so exasperated, he grabbed your spoon and slid it out of reach. He refused to give it back, so he fed you from his spoon the rest of the meal. The fire cackled merrily at your antics.
You were pleasantly tipsy, your tongue looser with wine. Jongin was stretched out, leaning back on the couch. He had taken his shirt off entirely, claiming he was hot. You leaned against his shoulder, felt the sticky press of his skin against your cheek. You were warm and full. It had been such a strange day, full of quiet intimacies you'd never shared. Maybe that's why you said what you said, why you did what you did.
“You're intimidating, Mr. Kim Jongin.”
Jongin glanced at you, surprise written across his face.
“You're a beautiful person.” You closed your eyes and extended an arm. “Your body, your dance, your personality. You know what they say?”
You lifted yourself onto your knees, moving your face close to his.
“You're a god,” you whispered next to his ear.
You felt him shudder.
“What are you saying? I'm not--”
“Shut up,” you breathed. “Let me say this.”
“You're a god, Kim Jongin.” You rested one sacrilegious palm against his cheek “So tell me, how could a mere human like me adore you?”
Jongin was the one who closed the distance, who captured your lips in a searing kiss. His eyes were burning when he pulled away, his hands hot against your waist.
“Didn't I tell you that it's you who I need?” he whispered against your lips. “Let me show you how much I worship you.”
**
A trail of clothes puddled on the floor in the wake of your passing. Jongin stalked behind as you led him into the palatial bathroom. He didn't touch you. He watched as the clothing slid off you, lazily following your movements. He kept watching as you stepped into the shower, fully naked in front of now, and let the water sluice across your body.
He slid out of his pajama pants. He hadn't bothered with boxers. You saw the length of him, untouched yet already half-hard.
His eyes roamed over you. The attention made your insides twist pleasantly. Your previous partners had been good enough to satisfy, but Jongin made you feel wanted. You ran your hands down your body just to see if his gaze followed.
It did.
He waited until you stepped out of the shower, dripping water all over the dark stone tiles as you crossed to the crown of the bathroom.
Inset in the floor was an onsen-style bath as big as a pool. The bath itself was made of cedar, deep enough for water to reach your hips when standing, with a bench that ran around the inner rim for soaking. Panoramic windows surrounded the bath, but darkness kept secret the view.
Jongin stepped into the bath ahead of you. You met him in the middle, steam curling around you. You lifted your hand above his collarbone, trailing water all over his chest.
Something would change, more than it had already, if you touched him. Some illusion, some safety net you'd built. The nearness of his body was scalding, hotter than the water, and you knew it would burn.
Jongin curled his hands into yours, fitting his fingers into the spaces between.
“Still here?” he asked, kind and sweet as he always was.
You squeezed his hands and nodded. You'd promised. He wouldn't get rid of you that easily.
He led you to the ledge and sat, pulling you closer. You perched over his lap until his hands drew you down. You felt his hardness between your legs and quivered. It had been such a long time since you had done this.
“Are you okay with this?” Your voice wavered along with the steam. Even with you naked on his lap, Jongin kept his hands confined to innocent places. He was focused on kissing your neck and jaw.
He pulled away, a look like drowsiness in his eyes.
“I'm okay with anything. Whatever you want to do.”
You slowly nodded and rested your forehead against his. You let your hands slide down his shoulders, thumbs dipping into the indent of his collarbones. He lifted his head and you obliged him with long, luxurious kisses.
“Can I touch you more?” he asked, voice gravelly.
“Yeah.”
He thanked you with another kiss, caressing the line of your spine. His hands disappeared from your body then reappeared on your thighs. He squeezed. You felt his shudder and heard the tiniest groan fall out of him. And, oh, you needed him to make that noise again. Your hands grazed the skin of his stomach and traveled lower. You felt the flex of his muscles. Jongin caught your eyes, the way you waited for a moment until you found the permission you'd been seeking.
You wrapped your hands around his erection. The water obscured your view, but he was hard in your hand as you slowly stroked him with a velvet grip. His jaw fell open and he rolled his hips into your hand.
An ache built in you. Jongin set his jaw mulishly, a challenging glint entering his eyes. You gasped at the first brush of his fingers against you. They slid silkily against you, leaving soft whorls of water in their absence. You ground down against him, pinning his hand against his thigh, patience abandoned. Jongin bent, kissing the tops of your breasts, using his thumb to sweep over your nipples. You slid a hand into the hair at the base of his neck and tugged.
His gaze meeting yours was a thunderclap.
“I—Jongin...”
He knew without having to say anything more. He readjusted himself and you leaned on him as you sank down and let him enter you.
You rode him slow. You felt your eyes hood, and your head sank back. Water dripped from the ends of your hair, and you opened your mouth and moaned. Pleasure sizzled along every nerve, radiating outward from your navel to the tip of your toes and the roots of your hair. Jongin pressed his thumb into your bottom lip. It glided slickly between your lips. You opened your mouth, taking it between your teeth. You dragged your hands down his chest, feeling the flex of his muscles.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, his thumb swiping across your bottom lip. Your eyelashes fluttered closed. “The sight of you, and oh, the way you feel around me. How couldn't you have known what you to do to me?” You moaned and he echoed you, his hips twitching up. His hands slid up your back before dipping back below the surface. He cupped them there, then brought them up to pour water down your neck and chest. His tongued followed their path.
“I want to make you forget everything except me,” he said hoarsely.
“I like the sound of that,” you said breathlessly. “Okay, rookie. Show me what you can do.”
He grinned, pulling you into a kiss. “Better hang on,” he murmured against you. He stroked lightly down your sides. You twitched away; you'd never realized you were so sensitive there, and his devilish smile proved he knew it. He planted himself and started rocking into you, rhythm tortuously slow. He'd hold himself still at points, long enough for you to despair that you'd ever find release. After four times, you begged for mercy.
Heavy, humid panting soon filled the room. The water lapped against the sides of the bath and over.  You buried your face against his shoulder at one point, too overcome with the fact that this was Jongin that you were doing this with, that his cock was inside you. You'd never had such a patient, attentive lover, never had such appreciation lavished upon you. It was just on the edge of enough and yet so far from it. He kissed the inside of your elbow, gave it a kittenish lick.
He got his arms under your thighs and stood. You felt him slide deeper into you and whimpered, wrapping your legs around him. Never had you appreciated the work he put into his body so much as now, feeling his muscles gather and relax as he drove himself into you. You heard his little grunts as he bounced you on his cock, and felt the overwhelming sensation of him all around you.
“I—I'm gonna...” Your teeth were chattering. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stave off orgasm.
He pressed a kiss to your temple. “I've got you.”
You cried out, arching as you came, Jongin's hands against your back the only thing preventing you from slipping backwards into the water.
He held you there until your muscles trembled and you began to slide down. His dick slipped out of you, sandwiched between your bellies until he sat you on the edge of the pool. You were winded, a pile of mush. He was flushed with exertion. You brushed his fringe away—the humidity and his sweat had left it in cute little curlicues.  
Like a compass orienting northwards, your eyes sought his. Temptation lingered in the spaces between your bodies. You read the hunger in him, in the way his stare dropped to your lips and flicked back, desire simmering darkly there. It sucked the air from your lungs, drew lips to lips to devour all of you. Teeth bit, tongues curled. You wrapped your hands around his bicep, anything to ground you.
Kissing Jongin was like kissing a storm; in him was a wildness held 6,000 feet at bay. His bites ended in kisses, tongue laving away the hurt. Tomorrow, you knew you would wake to tender bruises blooming on your skin and you relished it. When finally he pulled away, your back was flush against the floor, his arms bracketing either side of your head as you stared up at him. Your heart learned the rhythms of war—what dread god had you summoned?
His lips, red and wet from your mouth, trailed down your neck. Goosebumps had risen all over your body as water evaporated from your skin, but Jongin's mouth seared you. He skimmed down your breastbone and planted fervent kisses to your stomach, your hips, lower and lower.
He drove you wild, made you writhe. His touch was so cold it burned, so hot it froze. Your body was locked between fight and flight and your pleading noises seemed only to incense him. His fingers delved into you and discovered places that made your toes curl, his tongue hot against your folds. His free arm locked over your hips to prevent you from bucking. The squelch of wetness echoed in the room, and you covered your eyes, burning at your own wantonness.
“I love this,” Jongin growled. “Making you come apart.”
Your thighs slammed shut, locking his hand in place as you plunged into climax. Your hearing went out, and in its aftershock a high-pitched note rang in your ears. Distantly, you heard a muttered curse, heard the rhythmic grunts of Jongin as he came before you were lost to the wave of secondhand arousal. I wish I could've seen it, you thought faintly.
When you came to, Jongin was massaging your legs. His hands skated dangerously high up your inner thighs, stoking the embers of your pleasure. “Stop that,” you complained, kicking him weakly in the shoulder.
He grinned, bending over you to place a tender kiss between your eyebrows. “Whatever you say, my little human.”
You ignored the pet name. Your chest still heaved for air. “What... what about you?”
He gestured at himself, at his flagging erection. “You did me in,” he said with a wry grin. “The sight of you...” His eyes shuttered as if he was recalling the scene. The interested twitch his dick gave was more than enough to finish that sentence.
**
The two of you shared a shower, motions brisk and economical. Well, his at least. Jongin wound up wrapping you in a heated towel, arms and all, because your hands wouldn't stop wandering.
“I told you, didn't I?” he had reproached you. “Let me take care of you.”
He dried your hair and offered you the top of his pajama set to wear, blush burning on his cheeks. Maybe a less flummoxed you would have commented on the stark dichotomy between now and a few minutes ago, but the words never materialized. The two of you brushed your teeth side by side, sharing the shy smiles of a newly intimate couple. You kept giggling at each other for no reason at all.
Between the events of the day and the man beside you, you didn't expect to get much sleep that night. But you fell into a gentle, easy dreams, cradled in Jongin's arms with not an inch between you.
**
Morning gilded him in gold. Sleep crusted his eyes, his hair was disastrous, and if that wasn't the most perfect sight you'd seen, you didn't know what could be.
He smiled sleepily, eyes closed.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered.
You rolled your eyes and sat up.
“Admit it, you can't even see what I look like right now.”
He squinted at you. “Amazing in every single way?” he offered, with a hopeful smile.
You grabbed a pillow and bonked him with it. He rolled away, laughing his dorky little laugh. You were glad he couldn't see your smile.
**
Jongin was a hoverer, you learned. He had a habit of floating about your vicinity like a lost puppy. It was particularly noticeable when you were cooking. You seemed to find him in your path at every turn, or you would feel a gentle tug as you moved away and twist to see him holding the hem of your shirt with a pout.
The best way to deal with it, you soon discovered, was to pay him attention. Telling him to cut this or stir that worked, but he especially liked being fed. You would feed him extra little bits of ingredients and press them to his open mouth. He'd close his lips around your finger and you'd feel the soft, inner parts of it as you slid your finger back out.
“How was it?” you would ask softly each time.
“Mmmh. Delicious,” he'd answer with a wicked grin.
**
No good deed could go unpaid. You reciprocated the next day on your knees, Jongin laid out on a sun-lounger beneath you on the terrace. You took him into your mouth, took him as far down as your throat would allow. He trembled below you, eyes wide and watching. His adam's apple bobbed as you swallowed around him, lips parting.
You'd been at it for the past twenty minutes, swapping out your mouth for your hands when your jaw got too tired.
“Do you know how many people would kill to have you under them like this?” you said with wonder. You waited until Jongin opened his eyes, still glazed with pleasure. You placed your hand loosely against his neck, felt his hummingbird pulse in your fingertips. “But only I get to do this.” You tightened your grip and gave quick, short strokes around the crown of his cock. He choked out a gasp, jerking, every muscle of his clenching.
Jongin was such a vocal lover. You felt a powerful and infinite kind of tenderness for him.
“You're doing so well.” His breath fell heavily, a tell-tale quickness to it. His thrusts became erratic.
“Please,” he gasped. “Please.”
You kissed the words from his lips. “Yes, yes,” you whispered. “Anything for you. So good. So proud of you.”
“Uuuuuuh,” he groaned as his orgasm ripped through him. Long ribbons of come landed on his chest, where they glistened in the warm spring sun. His thighs quivered, hips lifting off the lounger as you continued to milk him. Come glazed your hand and dribbled from the slit of his cock.
Greed whet your appetite and desire pooled in your belly. Jongin cried as you took him back in your mouth, hands reaching for you, until your tongue, your lips, your hands coaxed a second orgasm from him. His come pooled, salty and intense, in your mouth. He watched with dilated eyes, little debauched noises trembling off each exhale, as you made a show of swallowing.
**
The last days of your vacation ran themselves down. On the final evening, the two lay entangled on the couch in front of the fireplace, talking.
“Am I easy to manage?”
“You?” you laughed. “No way.”
“What? Yes I am! I'm super easy to manage!” He actually looked a little upset. “Aren't I?”
You couldn't help laughing. “I don't think you get to say that. But it's not your personality,” you reassured him. “It's your perfectionism. I admire it, but honestly? Sometimes it's a pain in my ass.”
He crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, you can be a pain in my neck sometimes, too, you know.”
You felt your eyebrows creeping up. “Yeah? How.”
“When you wake me up, when you make me drink chicken smoothies, when you take bad photos of me for Instagram...” He ticked them off his fingers one by one.
“Bad?!” You pinched his side, eliciting a little squeal. “You told me they were cute!”
“Because they're so bad!” He laughed his ridiculous laugh, fending your hands off.
The two of you rolled off the couch and onto the floor from your tussling. Jongin turned onto his side, small hiccuping laughs still spilling from him. Unwilling to be bested, you pulled your phone off the coffee table. “I'll show you bad. I studied photography, you know.”
“Where?”
You waved your hand dismissively. “Doesn't matter. I let my work speak for itself.”
Jongin snorted.
You knelt above him, angling your phone down at him. He was so effortlessly photogenic, he could lie there with four days worth of stubble, chapped lips, shirt ridden half way up, and still look right off the cover of Vogue. The shutter clicked, and Jongin instinctively moved, expression changing minutely.
“These look good, you'll see,” you murmured, drawn into the familiar world of work, of seeing the unreachable him from behind a screen.
But instead of waiting, he pulled you down. You fell into him with an oomph, and he rolled you over until you were snug against his body, his left arm under you with his hand curled around your shoulder. He hummed while he scrolled through your gallery. This, as in all things, Jongin was methodical with. “Not bad,” he acquiesced, “but here. My turn.”
He opened the camera app and flipped to the front-facing camera. You watched on the screen as his head tilted towards yours and felt the brush of his hair against yours. Your heart raced.
“No need to be nervous.” You were watching him on the screen as he whispered it, saw the curve of his lips as they ghosted over the shell of your ear, felt the words land as breath against you. He knew you were watching him. A thrill went up your spine.
“I like it better when you're with me.”
**
Back in Seoul, a picture hangs on your refrigerator.
A polaroid of Jongin folded around you, kissing the crown of your head with a smile. The moment catches you with your eyes closed, clutching onto him and laughing.
An offering for the memory collector and the date is scrawled along the bottom, for the dream of many more.
___________________________
A/N: I kept my promise. :) 
Thank you for reading!
[ ❂ Read more Manager!verse here ]
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chilly-me-softly · 3 years
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Maybe a Mason Mount one where your on holiday with some of the England lads and ur all out together and u get tipsy and fall asleep on him through dinner and it’s all cute and fluffy x
You'd spent practically all afternoon getting ready, declaring that since you were going to be doing something low-key for an evening that didn't involve sea or sweat, preparing properly was a must. You'd chosen your dress carefully, you'd worn it on purpose knowing that Mason wouldn't be able to take his eyes off you, accompanying it with a pair of heels that sure made you look even slimmer.
You had all met up outside the hotel at the agreed time, more or less, Jack always kept himself waiting despite being one of the few of the group who didn't have a girl behind him. You, Declan and Luke's girlfriend start walking ahead of the guys and you make sure to turn to look at Mason a couple of times quite casually on the way.
The place is nice and totally quiet, a night like this is just what you needed even though you're so loud you wouldn't be surprised if you got kicked out at any moment. You order in and generally have a good night, you really enjoy the group you're on holiday with and it's not easy to find people you don't repress yourself with in some ways.
Mason has his arm on the back of that little sofa you're sitting around, his hand occasionally caressing your shoulder covered by his jacket. The temperatures have dropped slightly from that morning or when you left the hotel, and he had brought his jacket with him knowing your chilly personality.
Laughing and joking the wine glass in front of you had been refilled a couple of times, your cheeks were already red for a while and by now you're leaning against Mason without even paying attention to food or anything else anymore. Your eyes start to close but you struggle for a few minutes, chewing on some bread or lighting the phone on the table before they get too heavy and you give in.
Ben glances at Mason before pointing with his head to his right where you are and a soft smile forms on his face when he sees your serene expression and your mouth slightly ajar. He shakes his head as a soft laugh escapes his lips to a sigh that escapes your lips when he runs a cool hand over your forehead.
"I told you not to let her drink so much" he murmurs to no one in particular, the various toasts before meals arrived and the fact that you didn't drink wine regularly certainly hadn't helped.
"It's time to call it a night" the place is almost empty compared to when you arrived and after the bill you start to gather all your things to leave. The hotel is not very far away but after a couple of drinks it seems that way, nevertheless you decide to walk back. A bit of fresh air can only do you good.
"Do you want a hand?" checks Luke as Mason carefully zips up his jacket for you and puts your phone in his pocket.
"No thanks I'm good" he goes around the table because he can't climb over you and thinks about what the best way to get you away is. He thinks about putting you on his shoulders but you have the dress on and it would probably roll up before he could get out of there, he doesn't want to wake you up so the only solution is to take you bride style.
It's not the first time he's carried you like this, of course it's not the same journey from the sofa to his room but he can manage it. The road is well lit and with you snuggled against his chest he follows the others who silently enjoy the journey home.
"No I fell asleep" Mason stops as soon as he hears your rough voice, eyes still slightly closed and full of sleep.
"We're almost there"
"Put me down, I can do it" he still wants to hold you to him but you practically throw yourself from his arms making it impossible. However he intertwines a hand with yours, passing his arm around your shoulder and you continue walking like this with you yawning every three steps.
When you go up to your room after saying goodbye to everyone, you throw yourself onto the bed without even removing your heels. Mason smiles tenderly placing your phones and wallet on the bedside table, slipping them off and then taking off your jacket and dress carefully as well while you sigh not quite asleep yet but not having the strength to do it yourself.
"I would have liked to take this dress off another way but that's okay" he murmurs carefully placing it back on the hanger still on the wardrobe, quickly undressing himself to come and lie next to you.
"Night Mase" you mumble holding onto him as he leaves a kiss on your forehead.
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chaoticminhos · 4 years
Text
maybe i do
--”even at a young age, he knew he wouldn’t be able to choose who he married, but that didn’t stop him from hoping that one day, maybe, you would at least be an option.so imagine his excitement when you were. and then imagine his pain when you told him you wished you were anything but.”
pairing: lee know x reader
genre: angst, fluff, a smut scene 
warnings: none
word count: 16.3k
a/n: arraigned marriage with minho was requested, as was breeding/pregnancy kink with him :) I didn’t make the pregnancy kink a big part bc the smut scene is small but i hope you like it anyway, anon!! I can always write a separate fic, too. there’s never too many minho fics <3
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eighteen. that’s when you were expected to choose a partner. you’d just turned of age, and as an adult, you were now supposed to be getting ready to take the throne. with a partner, of course.
a very specific partner, specific to the point that all choice given to you to make you feel like you were in control meant absolutely nothing. 
you needed to find a man, first of all. a single man, one that wasn’t already set to be married. he had to have power, at least as much or more power than you had. he needed to have wealth. you needed to find yourself a handsome, wealthy prince from one of your neighboring kingdoms, and your parents had to like him. as much as your parents said you were in full control of choosing your suitor, you knew you were not the one making the calls. not a single one of them.
there was only one person who matched all of these criteria. there was only one boy you whose name would be on your list of potential suitors and your parents knew it just as well as you did.
you could try just simply not writing lee minhos name down, not selecting a husband at all, but it would be futile. eventually, if you hadn’t selected a worthy candidate to marry, one would be decided for you.
without a doubt, minho would be the one selected, whether you wrote it down or your parents signed his name for you.
you didn’t have anything against minho specifically. he was no more intolerable than any of the other royal children you’d met. if anything, he was actually easier to be around. it’s just that you were expected to be fond of him.
you were ordered by your parents to love him, and that in itself made you want to despise him.
along with your side of the selection, minho also had to choose you. if he didn’t, you would just have to wait until someone else came along. it wasn’t just you looking for a partner, he was in search as well. the difference was that he had been in search for nearly a year and he had willingly selected you.
minho wasn’t the first in line to be king of his home kingdom, his oldest brother was. he was already married and set to be crowned in the coming months. instead, if minho ever wanted to be a king, he needed to find a woman to marry who was set to become queen.
luckily for him, you were the oldest daughter in a family that had no sons.
as the eldest sibling in a family of no boys, you were in line to lead. but according to the rules, you couldn’t lead without a man to stand beside.
in all logic, minho had to choose you just as much as you needed to choose him. of course, if both of you resented each other, the wedding could be held off until you resolved the conflict. or even cancelled. you might be given a few more years of freedom before another man who fits your parents wants walks into their life or ages old enough to marry.
much to your dismay, however, minho did choose you. even before it was brought to his attention that he was your only option, that you would remain single for an unknown amount of time unless he married you, minho chose you. the second he noticed your name on the list of possible brides, which was much longer than your list of possible husbands, he had his mind set on you.
and after finding out that you had no one to choose but him, minho was sure he was going to get what he wanted.
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you clenched your jaw and took your place at the table, glancing at the seat beside you that had been saved for minho.
“we want you two to get to know each other more before the wedding,” your mother said, “and he’s such a sweet boy.”
“i haven’t even chosen him as my fiancé yet, mom.”
she sent you an apologetic smile, both of you knew it didn’t matter what you chose.
you sat biting your lip and playing with the frills on your dress for quite some time before minho and his parents entered the room, escorted by four of the palace guards. 
he looked different than when you had last seen him. taller. it had only been a year or so, but you could clearly see changes. his jaw line was more defined and he had finally learned how to tie a tie so it wasn’t crooked. his eyes, though. even from across the room, you could see that his eyes were the same.
you smiled and sent a small wave towards one of the guards as they turned to leave. minho must have thought you were waving at him, and he waved back, a huge smile plastered on his pretty lips.
you were aware that he had already put your name down as his official choice of brides, practically robbing you of any chance you had of not being forced into marriage, and you knew he was probably equally aware that you had yet to write down his name, even though it was the only one you had. 
you held back a laugh at minho waving at you, not having the heart to tell him you were waving to felix and not him as he made his way around the table and to you. you let yourself smile though. no matter how much you wanted him to hate you as much as you hated the idea of marrying him, you couldn’t be downright rude. not when the parents were watching, at least.
you stood to greet him, sending your now-forced smile in his direction. you went to shake his hand, but instead, he pulled you into a tight hug. it was short, so short that you didn’t have the time to return the hug, not that you would have wanted to. 
you sat back down and looked up to greet his parents sitting across from the two of you on your big table. your own parents were sat on the ends of the table, your father to your left and mother to your right. neither your nor minhos siblings were present.
there was no time for conversation before the cook was bringing out the food. it was nothing fancy, per your request. he brought all of the food out at once, minus the desert, instead of in different courses. 
you half expected minho to say something about the way the meal was brought out in a way that wasn’t considered the most elegant, but he didn’t. instead, his eyes went wide as he spotted the roasted chicken set down in the middle of the table.
his mother observed his behavior and laughed, “y/n, how did you know minho’s favorite food? i don’t remember sending a letter containing his favorites.”
you frowned slightly, “i didn’t, i just chose my favorite.”
at your words, your mothers shared a glance, one that said, “they’re perfect for each other.”
your father was the next to speak, “minho, why don’t you cut the chicken for us.”
once again you anticipated some sort of reaction out of the boy. he had been asked to cut the chicken when there were waiters standing all around that could most likely do it much neater than he could. it was another thing you had specifically requested to happen in order to judge his reaction. but again, to your surprise, he smiled, stood up, and began to cut even strips off of it, passing them out around the table.
he turned to you, “how much do you want?”
you ignored the softness in his voice, one that you could see yourself growing fond of if you didn’t resent the idea of loving him so much already.
“i can get my own.”
he didn’t even flinch at your response, chuckling as he cut a piece off of the bird and guided it to your plate. you had to keep yourself from pouting as you looked down at it. he’d given you just as much as you wanted.
he was making it very difficult to keep a bitter attitude towards him when he was doing everything right. how were you supposed to convince your parents he would be a terrible husband when acted like the perfect one?
after serving himself, minho reclaimed his seat beside you. you served yourself to the rest of the food as it was passed around, handing the bowls to minho when you were finished. you took notice of the way he chose food. he took a little of everything, as if he wanted to taste all of the foods you had requested to be made for his visit. you asked him about it.
“trying everything, minho?”
you dropped his formality. you should have predicted that he would take it as a sign that you were comfortable with him rather than a petty disrespect in the way you’d meant.
he nodded, sending a soft smile towards you, “i assume your chose all your favorites, princess, so i want to try them all.”
you would have blushed if someone you were fond of said it, but you weren’t blushing. no, the heat in your face was just there because the room was warm from all of the bodies and hot food.
one of the waiters came around with a bottle of wine and some glasses, offering one to everyone at the table. of course, everyone accepted, it was impolite not to, but you couldn’t help but notice that minho didn’t touch his glass as often as the rest of you.
by the time you were smiling up at the waiter as he poured you a second glass, minho still had yet to finish even half of his first. 
you ate in casual conversation until all of you had your fill. the table was slowly cleared and the meals were replaced with a small array of sweets. 
minho nudged you, pointing at one of the trays.
“what’s this?”
you were caught off guard by his voice. it was soft, timid, almost like he was embarrassed that he didn’t know what the dessert was.
“pumpkin bars.”
he nodded, “are they your favorite?”
you shrugged, shaking your head, “kinda. they’re not my favorite to eat, but i love baking them.”
his eyes widened, “you made these?”
you shook your head again, a small laugh leaving your lips. as much as you tried to stay short and serious with him, you couldn’t.
“no, but i know how.”
he paused for a moment as his eyes scanned the table before he turned to you once more, “can you teach me?”
your brows furrowed, “to make pumpkin bars?”
he nodded.
never mind. you definitely could be short with him. 
what was he playing at? why was he behaving exactly in the way you’d want him to in every obstacle you threw at him? he couldn’t actually be that good. first, he wasn’t offset by the untraditionally casual meal or being asked to serve the main dish himself, and now he was showing interest in something you liked to do. something that was considered low level, something that a princess should never have to do. and now he was asking if you would show him how?
no, he had to be faking. any walls that had been broken down by his timid voice and him making you laugh were thrown back up.
“you don’t want to bake.”
it was his turn to frown.
he reached out to stop your arm as you went to grab a slice of pie.
“what do you mean? yes i do.”
you pulled your wrist from his grip, speaking lowly so only he would hear. 
“well i don’t want to teach you.”
you missed the expression that crossed his face as you reached across the table to grab the dessert you wanted.
he didn’t say anything more. he just reached for the pie spatula as you went to set it down. his fingers grazed yours as he took the tool from your hand and you were violently aware of it, of how his fingers against your skin seemed to send a shock through your body.
he set a piece on his plate and took a bite, glancing at you. you hadn’t even registered that you had been watching him until he did. 
“how is it?”
he nodded in approval, “it’s good. do you know how to make pies, too?”
“yes. i can make most every dessert our cooks can.”
he held your gaze as he smiled at you.
you frowned, averting your eyes from his and back to your plate, “what?”
“nothing.” he began, “i just think it’s interesting that you’re so into baking now. last time we spoke you were crazy about the gardens.”
you shrugged, “who says i can’t love both?”
there was a pause before, to your surprise, you kept the conversation going.
“do you still practice archery?”
he nodded, swallowing a bite of his pie before responding.
“i can out shoot almost all of our archers.”
you raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at your lips, “who says they’re not letting you win?”
he playfully shoved you and you laughed.
“fine, then you go against me.”
you shook your head, “anyone could beat me in archery.”
he seemed to think for a moment before softly nudging you, “i could give you some tips?”
you almost found yourself accepting his offer before you caught yourself. you were not supposed to be enjoying his company.
“i don’t need your help. if i wanted to learn i would have one of my guards teach me.”
the way his expression fell made something in your chest ache and you hoped his parents hadn’t heard the remark. you felt bad for a moment, it wasn’t his fault that you were being forced to marry him.
then a thought crossed your mind- it kind of was.
he played by their rules and pretended to be excited to marry you, but that’s not what he wanted. he knew the perks that came along with marrying you. it wasn’t you he was excited for, it was the power and status that came along with marrying you. how could he be excited to marry you when he barely knew you? he couldn’t. all he wanted was to be king, and you gave him that option. he didn’t try to fight it. maybe if he fought it like you did, you wouldn’t be forced into it. or at least not so soon.
the fact that his cooperation was only securing your unwanted future was enough to wipe that sting from your chest.
you finished the rest of your dessert in silence, listening in on your parents conversations and trying not to scream at every mention of the upcoming wedding you didn’t want to have.
“has he picked out a ring yet?” 
“no,” his mother responded, “he wanted to get to know her better first. he wants it to be perfect.”
you finished your food and pushed the plate away from you, letting the waiters know they could collect it. all of the adults were already done eating. minho finished soon after, having taken longer as he savored every bite. this left the table without food and full of conversation. 
minho only spoke again when your mother addressed him.
“is there a specific type of flower you want at the ceremony?”
he spoke softly, kindly. you could see exactly why your mother loved him so much. even without him being the only choice, he probably would have been her first choice for you.
“yes. i love lilies.”
you took a deep breath to keep yourself from blowing up, it couldn’t be a coincidence that he kept having the same favorites as you. someone told him so he could better bond with you. 
your mom knew how badly you didn’t want this wedding to happen, she probably send his family a letter of ways to win your favor.
“it would be the perfect time to have the ceremony outside,” minho’s mother gushed, “the green suits them both.”
your dad laughed, “every color suits our y/n.”
“what color were you thinking, dear?” your mother turned to you.
your eyes shot to her. you were about to snap that you didn’t care about colors because you hoped there would be no wedding to coordinate colors to, but minhos parents were in the room. you couldn’t risk upsetting them and throwing off the good relationship your kingdoms had simply because you didn’t want to marry their son.
cutting off the marriage would be one thing. if it was mutual, it wouldn’t harm any relationships between the kingdoms. it would just stall your transition to power until you were forced against another possible husband. insulting him in front of his parents, however, might.
instead, you opted to look over at minho and pull a false smile onto your features.
“i think purple would suit him well.”
his parents didn’t catch the falseness of your cheerful tone or the way the smile on your lips was obviously forced, but minho did.
“oh, you’re so right!”
you asked one of the servants for the time and stood up.
“mom, i need to water my plants. may i?”
she nodded gesturing to the boy beside you, “take minho with you.”
you nodded, turning to leave the room without waiting for him. you heard your mother mutter something about your own little garden that you refused to let the staff tend for instead of  doing it yourself.
minho caught up as you were partly down the hallway. 
“y/n, is something wrong?”
you stopped, nearly causing him to crash into you.
“is something wrong? minho, this whole thing is wrong.”
he frowned, following again as you made your way to the garden entrance, “what do you mean?”
you opened the door to the garden a little harsher than you probably needed to and began filling a watering jug, “people should be able to fall in love before marriage.”
he shrugged, “there’s plenty of time for you to fall in love with me before the ceremony.”
you sent a glare towards him, “i want to choose who i love, minho.”
“then choose me.”
you shook your head, choosing not to respond. he followed you across the garden and to a small, fenced off patch that he assumed to be your personal garden.
you could feel his eyes on you as you went around and checked the soil around each plant before watering the ones that needed it. he wasn’t saying anything, he was just watching you. you let him stand in silence.
he followed you back to the entrance where you sat your watering can down and to a small bench where he took his seat beside you.
you put some distance between the two of you when he sat down right next to you and he noticed, just as he had noticed every other less than loving way you’d reacted to each of his attempts to show affection.
his chest tightened, why did you hate him so much? he thought you two were on good terms. the last time you saw each other, you laughed and joked with him. what was different now? was the idea of marrying him really that bad? 
maybe you were just nervous. 
people handle nerves differently, he reminded himself, maybe yours just made you snappy. it wasn’t anything to worry about. plenty of people had second thoughts before their weddings. you just had to get used to him was all, since you hadn’t seen each other in so long. then you would go back to joking with him and your he happy to have him as your husband.
he was shaken out of his thoughts by your voice.
“you don’t drink much?” you were referring to the glass of wine he had barely finished during dinner.
he shook his head, “it makes my mind foggy.”
you chuckled. he liked the sound. somehow, it was sweeter knowing that it was because of him.
“isn’t that what alcohol is supposed to do?”
he smiled, “i guess. but i wanted to be able to see you clearly.”
something akin to butterflies woke up inside your stomach. you ignored them as you stood abruptly, heading immediately for the door. he followed you out of the garden and back to the dining room where your families were seated. they turned as you stepped through the door.
“mother, it’s getting late and they have a long ride home.”
minho said nothing, standing at your side like it’s where he belonged, once again too close for comfort.
his parents agreed, standing along with your parents and thanking them for having them over. his mother hugged you goodbye at the front door before stepping into a carriage with her husband and son.
you were thankful that minho hadn’t tried to hug you goodbye. or much worse, kiss you.
he spent the carriage ride home wishing he had.
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it was only a matter of days before his family was visiting again. since minho would be living in your castle with you, your parents decided it was best to have him visit you again rather than you go to his kingdom.
“y/n, the lees will be here soon, get dressed!” 
“i am dressed.”
“then get out here!”
you groaned and chan laughed beside you.
“stop laughing at my pain.” you scolded him, “i’ll have you fired from the guard.”
he laughed again, “you would never. who would protect you then?”
you grumbled as you straightened your dress and opened the door, “felix. woojin. seungmin. literally any of the other guards.”
he pouted, coming to stand next to you as you walked down the hallway and to the front where you would be greeting minho.
he was going to complain, but you cut him off when you saw minho and his family standing near the doorway.
“go join the others.” you told chan, “but be on watch. you might need to save minho from me if he acts like he was last time.”
chan laughed, heading to stand with the rest of the guards.
minho noticed the friendly interaction and smiled. he liked how you were always so nice to the servants. he noticed it during the meal too, when you smiled and joked with the waiter.
“sorry to keep you waiting.” you bowed politely to his parents.
you turned to minho, “hello.”
a big smile spread across his features, “hi again, my love.”
he had taken a risk with those being the first words out of his mouth. he thought that maybe seeing him again and time to adjust had gotten you used to the idea of him. he thought maybe your attitude would have changed towards him.
he was wrong. although you couldn’t make a point of showing it in front of his parents, he could see by the slight change in your eyes at the choice of the name that he was definitely wrong.
“would you kids leave the adults to talk for a while?” your mother spoke.
she placed one hand on your shoulder and the other on minho’s, “you can go wherever you’d like, just stay clear of your bedroom.”
your face flushed red and glared at your mom as minhos parents laughed. was she trying to embarrass you? did she think you’d laugh at the joke? it wasn’t funny.
knowing you wouldn’t last long without blowing up with teasing like that, you took a hold of minho’s hand and drug him away from your parents. you allowed him to walk beside you this time instead of rushing to be in front of him, but you dropped his hand practically as soon as you’d taken it.
he’d assumed the garden was your destination, so when you walked past the doorway to the giant greenhouse, he spoke up.
“where are we going?”
“i don’t know yet.”
you ended up at the base of a staircase that lead to the roof of the castle. without questioning you, he followed you up the stairs and to the open roof. you were immediately met with a burst of cold air, but the longer you stood in the wind, the easier it became to handle. 
you followed minho as he made his way across the roof and towards the edge, throwing his legs over and sitting with them dangling down as he took in the view.
he probably expected to go sit with him, so you did. that in no way meant you were going to begin complying with everything, it just meant that you were choosing to be civil in that moment.
he noticed as you glanced back at the door you’d entered the roof from.
“what is it?”
“my mother must have told my guards not to follow us.”
he shrugged, “why would you need guards when you’re with me?”
you huffed, “in case i decide to bite your head off.”
he laughed at the remark, and even though you hadn’t intended it as a joke, you laughed along with him. something about his laugh made it impossible to sit there with a scowl on your face.
“tell me what’s so bad about me, then.”
a teasing grin spread across your face as you looked at him, “god, where do i start...”
he gestured for you to continue, but your mind ran blank. what exactly was so bad about him? the majority of your issues weren’t with him in specific.
then one thing popped into your mind like a big red flag.
“you’re forcing me into marriage.”
he frowned, “i don’t think so, not really. if i refused to marry you, you would simply wait another year or two as a princess until your parents were able to find another prince for you.” he paused, “in some ways, i actually think i’m saving you.”
“saving me?” you scoffed out.
“yes. from some creep you might be forced to marry instead of me if i decline as harshly as you are.”
“who says you’re not a creep, lee minho?”
his face morphed into faux offense, “my mother says i’m quite the gentleman, thank you very much.”
you let out a small chuckle before responding. he did have a point, you were going to be forced into a marriage eventually, whether it be this one or not. at least you knew him. was a couple extra years of freedom worth marrying someone you didn’t know at all? or would it be wisest to settle for minho? 
either way, you still didn’t understand why you needed a man at all to lead.
“why can’t i just lead alone? i don’t need a king.”
“there’s two thrones for a reason.”
he saw the confusion across your face and continued.
“two leaders is safer than one. it requires compromise and thought, not just one person making the choices according to their opinion only.”
you nodded, and you hated how much his explanation of everything was making sense. 
“it’s the same reason they make a king marry before taking the throne if they can help it.”
there was a short pause before he spoke again, “i mean, technically, if both of your parents died right now, there would be no option other than to send you to the throne alone. and as the queen, no one could tell you to get married. but unless you want to assassinate your parents,” he brought his hand to rest on top of yours, “you’re stuck with me.”
ignoring the searing heat of his skin touching yours, you narrowed your eyes up at him as you spoke.
“you make it tempting.”
he laughed again, and this time you had intended for it to be humorous. 
it was cleared now why things were the way they were. it would have been so much easier if your parents took a second to explain it in the way minho had. he was very good with explaining things, a talent a good king needs to have.
maybe he wouldn’t be so bad to lead with.
still, you didn’t resent the situation any less than you had before understanding it.
you turned from the view of the mountains to find minho already staring back at you. it wasn’t until you noticed the way the sun framed his face that you noticed how quickly the sun had been setting, had you really been outside with him that long?
you traced the lines of his face with your eyes, admiring the way the sun sat on his skin as if it was made for the purpose. 
you frowned in confusion as the shapes across his face began to grow, and before you could register it, his lips were only moments away from yours. you reacted quickly, thankful that he had paused to give you the option to do so.
he didn’t seem surprised as the palms of your hands connected to his chest, pushing him away from you. 
you stood from the edge, dusting off your dress and motioning to the door.
“i’m not supposed to be outside at dark without my guards.”
you knew that that didn’t matter, your parents trusted minho to keep you safe, that’s the whole reason they didn’t feel the need to send guards with you in the first place. you figured he probably knew that too, but he didn’t comment on it. instead, he nodded, following you to the staircase and opening the door for you, walking with you around the castle as you looked for your parents.
you found them in the first place you looked, the lounge. you waited for a pause in their conversation before making yourself known.
“it’s getting dark, shall i ask for the carriage?”
your mother sent you a worried smile as your dad spoke.
“sweetheart, they’re staying the night. we’ll have a carriage sent to take king and queen lee home in the morning.
you frowned, glancing at minho. he shrugged.
“the king and queen? what about minho?”
“he’ll be living here from now on. he might as well get used to his new home.”
your face fell.
“what about my things?” minho questioned. he seemed much more calm about the news than you, but he didn’t seem to know any more about the situation.
his mother waved the question off, “i sent for some carriages with your things as soon as we made the decision for you to remain here. they’ve already arrived and are waiting to be unpacked.”
“where are they?” he questioned.
his mother laughed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“your bedroom.”
“where is that?”
your dad cut in, “y/n can show you.”
that’s when it hit you- his bedroom was your bedroom. that’s why your mother had told you to stay clear of it. she had anticipated the conversation about minho staying and wanted the area to be clear if they chose to move his things in. your mother hadn’t meant it as a joke at all, she said it as an order.
trying to hide your frustration, you grabbed minho’s hand and turned to leave.
“we’ll start to unpack now!”
you ignored both your and his parents calls as you dragged him down the hallways and to your bedroom. 
the first thing you noticed was that some of your personal items were being carried out of the door as you watched. things that made your bedroom yours. stacks of books you loved to read and even piles of papers containing words of your own were being handled by random personnel. not even your own guards, staff you had never met was handling your personal things. it would be one thing if it was chan or one of your friends moving things out, but it wasn’t. you hadn’t even seen chan or the rest of your guard since you greeted minho when he arrived.
their soul job was to protect you, and they had been relieved of duty while you were with minho, so why couldn’t they have been the ones to handle your things? it would still have upset you, obviously, but it would have been far less intrusive to have people you know and trust doing it.
you felt tears brimming in your eyes. your parents knew how much you valued privacy, and yet they let people you’d never even seen on the property handle everything you valued. 
minho’s eyes were just as attached to the scene ahead of you until he heard a soft whimper leave your lips. immediately, he had his arms around you and your face buried in his chest.
you wanted to pull away, to shove him and curse at him for coming into your life like this, but instead, you gripped the fabric of his button up shirt and let him hold you close.
“i’m so sorry,” he whispered into your hair, “i didn’t know.”
and then he did something you would never have expected.
“excuse me!” he called, his authoritative voice echoing down the hallway, “you can stop now. put whatever is in your hands down and leave.”
the movers hesitated, not knowing whether or not to follow his commands yet, but they ended up obeying. he stopped one of the men as he moved to walk past the two of you, you still secure and crying into his chest.
“where did you put the things you moved?”
the worker gestured to the things in the hall outside your bedroom, “everything we moved is in this hallway, your royal highness.”
“and my things?”
“waiting for you further down the hall.”
he nodded and let the man leave before slowly pulling you off of him. he felt a squeeze in his heart as you looked up at him with red, tear filled eyes. 
he led you into your room, “let’s get you to your bed.”
you let out a small sob at his words, “that’s not my bed.”
he was confused for a moment before it registered in his mind. they must have switched out your old bed in favor of a larger one to suit the both of you, even though the one you had before would have no doubt done the job fine. you’d probably had a queen at the smallest.
the longer minho held you, the less you wanted to push him away and blame him for everything that was happening.
he walked you over to the bed and sat you down, taking a seat beside you so you could remain attached to him.
he knew that it wasn’t him you found comfort in, but rather just a warm body to hug. still, having you so close to him felt so right, he couldn’t bring himself to care. it felt like you were finally responding to him like a woman should to her fiancé. you were letting him take care of you.
truth be told, if he could have scooped you up in his arms the day he first saw you after learning you were to be his wife a few days prior, he would have, and he never would have let go. 
when he saw your name on the piece of paper handed to him, he didn’t even read the rest. even before opening the letter, your name had popped into his mind. he’d always had a childish crush on you. even at a young age, he knew he wouldn’t be able to choose who he married, but that didn’t stop him from hoping that one day, maybe, you would at least be an option.
so imagine his excitement when you were. and then imagine his pain when you told him you wished you were anything but.
as he moved you up the bed and snuggled himself in beside you before pulling the covers up to keep you warm, he wondered if maybe tonight would change that.
maybe you would realize that you liked the feeling of being in his arms, of having him hold you close. as your sniffles became softer and eventually stopped, he wondered if you’d realize that falling asleep next to him was something you could get used to.
because oh goodness, after falling asleep with you in his arms, even though the both of you were still in uncomfortable cloths and had fallen asleep upset, he didn’t ever want to go to bed without you again.
you were woken up only a little while after falling asleep to the sound of soft knocking on your door. minho stirred beside you and you both sat up to see who it was.
both of your mothers were standing in the doorway with adoration in their eyes at the sight in front of them. 
“and here i thought you’d be upset over the room.” your mother cooed as she made her way into the room.
you shifted yourself away from minho and you could have sworn you heard a whine of complaint come from him as your body lost contact to his. or maybe it was you.
his mother approached the bed as well, taking hold of his collar and straightening it out.
“goodness, you two didn’t even bother to change into sleep clothes.”
minho responded before you could, “we hadn’t meant to fall asleep.”
“what time is it?” you added.
“not late,” your mother responded, “it was still only 10:30 when we headed up to check on you.”
you nodded, and as the sleep wore off, the anger kicked in. before you burst, you stood and ushered them out of the room.
“i’ll get changed now, then, and then we can organize and unpack a little tonight.”
“we can help!” his mother chimed.
before you could deny the offer, minho did.
“no mother, we want to set up our bedroom ourselves, please.”
happy with the response, she nodded and followed your mother out of the room and back to wherever your fathers were waiting.
minho stood from the bed and looked into your closet.
“it doesn’t look like any of my clothes are here yet, so i’ll leave you to change. i can find something in a box and i’ll find a place to change.”
you nodded as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
you sat on the edge of your bed for a moment before standing up and grabbing the same sleep clothes you wore every night. they had already been washed in the morning and pressed dry, ready for you to use again.
you tried to undo the buttons on the back of your dress, but you couldn’t reach. chan had helped you do them earlier in the day. you reached your arm over the opposite shoulder in an attempt to reach the buttons, straining the fabric of the dress in a weird way. you heard the sound of stitches coming undone and pulled your arm back into a normal position, inspecting the place the noise had come from. sure enough, there were little pieces of thread hanging around a small tear in the arm of your dress.
defeated, you sat down on your bed and waited for minho to return. it wasn’t long before he did, signaling his presence with a couple soft knocks to the door. you called for him to come in and he did, pausing in surprise when he saw you still in the dress, your night clothes bundled in your hands.
“i can’t reach the buttons.”
he threw his head back in understanding, taking a few steps towards you as you turned your back to him, moving your hair out of the way of the buttons. 
you didn’t know what you’d expected, but the gentle touch of his fingers against your neck as he undid the top button sent a shiver through you. you hoped he didn’t notice, but by the way his movements stopped for a split second before continuing, you knew he had.
he undid the buttons until there were none left, leaving the top half of your back exposed to him where your dress fell open. his eyes ghosted over your shoulder blades and the smooth skin of your back. he wanted to place his palm there, to feel the warmth of your skin in more than just the tips of his fingers. he actually might have, despite his best judgement, if you hadn’t spoke up.
“are you done?”
he muttered a soft word of confirmation as you turned to face him again, hands holding the fabric to your chest to pretend it from falling off. 
he stared at you for a moment before reality seemed to flow back into his head.
“let me know when you’re done.”
you nodded, waiting until he pulled the door closed behind him to let the dress fall to the floor. you took your time changing. it felt nice to be alone. after a few minutes, though, an unexpected feeling built up in your chest. it was nice to be alone, but you missed minhos company. or maybe you just missed company.
that was it, you told yourself, you just missed having someone around. your resolve was not breaking this quickly. you were upset and frustrated with how things were going and he was just as good as anyone, except maybe chan, to keep you company.
you called out for him to come back in and he did, immediately taking the clothes you’d just changed out of and setting them in a bin outside your door where they would wait until someone came and took them for cleaning. 
you followed him to the door, heading right for a pile of books that had been taken off of your personal bookshelf. luckily, they hadn’t moved the shelf out of your bedroom yet, so you only had the books to carry back in.
you did the same for a few other things, things that you couldn’t imagine not having in your room, before turning to minho.
“what do you want moved in next?” he asked.
“something of yours.”
he was shocked by your reply, almost as if he had expected you to return your bedroom to the way it was before he arrived and pretend his things didn’t exist.
sure, you didn’t like that you had to remove your things from your room to make room for his stuff, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it right then. it wasn’t your room anymore. it belonged to the both of you.
at least until you could convince your parents to cancel the wedding, that is. that was still the plan.
“uh, okay,” minho began down the hallway, scanning his things as he did. he finally settled on a pretty, dark wooded desk. it had drawers along the side and it looked very used. you were surprised his parents let him keep it with how old it looked. it must have been important to him.
he insisted that he could carry it alone, but eventually he let you help. it fit perfectly in the room, almost like it was meant to be there. you placed it a couple feet away from your own desk, which was a similar color. it was a similar build too, with drawers on the sides.
back in the hallway, minho sighed as he attempted to move a large bookcase of his.
“we can’t move this alone. it can wait until morning.”
you nodded, thought for a moment, and then spoke.
“there’s room on mine, if you want. we can put this in storage and you can put your books with mine. there’s no need for two bookcases in one room.”
he was slightly taken aback by your offer, but nodded. he liked that you were getting used to sharing. getting used to it being not just your room, but his too. maybe you had changed your mind about him already.
“okay,” he agreed, “then we can take some books in.”
you grumbled, “but only one load. then we’re done for tonight.”
he laughed, assuring you that it was the last load of the night and walking back to the bedroom beside you, books in hand.
you helped him organize the books on the shelf, interlocking them with yours when it looked best to do so. the bookshelf was still quite empty, but that was fine. you had more books somewhere in the hall that you hadn’t bothered to search for and he had more, too.
you sat down on the bed, still messed up from your little nap, and sighed, but you didn’t say anything.
instead, minho did. after a few minutes of surprisingly comfortable silence, he sat down beside you and spoke.
“why won’t you let me kiss you?”
you were surprised by the sudden question, “you only tried once.”
“you’d only push me away again if i tried another time.”
“you gave me the chance to push you away.”
“because i knew you would.”
“then why try?”
“because i want to kiss you. why don’t you want to kiss me?”
you faltered at the confidence in his words. sure, his earlier actions had made it clear he wanted to kiss you, he wouldn’t have tried to otherwise, but hearing him say it out loud felt different. it made it click in your mind that he meant it, that it was real.
“i don’t- i already told you.”
“no you didn’t.”
“yes, i did.” you insisted, “i told you. i don’t want to be in a relationship that’s forced.”
and there it was. despite the progress he thought he’d made with you, there it was. that same angry, bitter attitude towards whatever relationship you two had. 
he shoved the disappointment down his throat and replied, “then don’t force it. i’m not.”
he said it casually, just like he said and did everything else he did around you. his laid back demeanor gave the illusion that maybe his words were honest. maybe he wasn’t forcing anything he felt for you, maybe he genuinely did look forward to the wedding, and not only for the power. you shoved the thought from your mind, looking forward to marrying you and looking forward to taking control of your kingdom were not the same thing.
as had become common for you, you chose not to respond, instead scooting yourself along the bed until you had your head on a pillow, pulling the blankets over yourself. you felt the bed shift as he did the same, reaching out to shut off any lights in the room before crawling under the same blankets as you. 
as badly as he wanted to pull you close to his chest and hold you while he fell asleep like he had hours before, he knew he couldn’t. everything in the way you were responding to him now told him that you would just push him away, maybe even change your mind about sleeping in the same bed as him and make him move to the floor. or worse, move there yourself.
no, minho didn’t want you to sleep on the floor and he didn’t want to upset you further than he knew he already had, so he stayed to himself. with your back to him, he listened to the even sounds of your breathing as you fell asleep. that would have to be enough for him for now.
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the next morning was a repeat of the night before, minus minhos thoughts that you could be finally accepting him, maybe even growing feelings that didn’t involve resentment and anger.
after sending his parents off with a promise of them returning soon, just like the night before, you spent the day rearranging the room with him. you refused any help from your parents or anyone else, partially because you didn’t want anyone to touch your things again and partially because you couldn’t stand to be around them at the moment.
unlike before, though, your comfort and coziness to minho had worn off. you were no longer showing him any form of physical affection. 
you still kept the room fair, although it didn’t feel like it was half you and half him. it felt like its own place. it wasn’t partially him, the other half you- it was 100% the two of you, together.
you actually quite liked the way the room turned out. you weren’t being as snappy to him as you originally had been, but the atmosphere wasn’t anything close to before, when you’d looked to him for comfort from the pain rather than looking at him like he was the source of it all.
minho hated seeing you cry. when he noticed your state the night before and pulled you into his chest, he could have sworn his heart broke, like it would have fallen right out of his chest if you hadn’t been there holding it in. that reason exactly is why he felt so bad now.
he didn’t want you to cry, he didn’t want you to be sad, but he almost wished you would again, if it meant you would let your walls down for him again. anything to put you back in his arms.
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you were walking back to your bedroom after dinner and tending to your garden, exhausted from life and redecorating your room. you were growing used to spending nearly every waking, and sleeping, moment with minho, even beginning to enjoy his company, but that didn’t mean small moments alone weren’t appreciated.
you knew it would only be a few minutes, but walking alone to your shared bedroom while minho was speaking to your parents felt like heaven. 
you didn’t remain alone for long, but it didn’t bother you. not when the person breaking the isolation was your best friend.
you jogged down the hallway and to your bedroom door where chan was standing, waiting for you. you hadn’t seen him since minho had arrived days prior.
you threw your arms around him the moment you reached him, happy to finally see him again. it hadn’t been that long, but considering he was usually with you constantly, a few days felt like forever. he pulled you into his chest, placing a kiss to your forehead as you smiled up at him.
you were about to ask him why he hadn’t been around when someone interrupted you.
“i thought you didn’t have brothers.” minho’s voice.
“i don’t.” you payed no attention to chan’s arm around your waist.
he nodded, “then this is?”
chan stepped away from you and reached his hand out to minho, “ah, i’m sorry! i’m chan, head of y/n’s personal guard.”
minho nodded again, taking chan’s hand and gripping it firmly.
“minho. y/n’s fiancé.”
releasing minhos hand and stepping back to you, chan laughed, “i know that, you’re all anyone is talking about recently.”
minho raised an eyebrow, locking his eyes to yours.
“am i?”
“of course!” chan babbled, “everyone’s excited for the wedding.”
minho scoffed, eyes still glued to yours.
“not everyone.” 
he didn’t bother to excuse himself before he shoved past you and chan, an action that could have easily been avoided with all the space the hallway held, and into your bedroom. 
a confused expression plastered on your face as you turned to chan.
“i know i complain a lot, but he’s usually not that bad. not even near it.”
chan frowned, lowering his voice. minho was right inside the door, after all.
“did you get into a fight or something?”
you shook your head, why did it actually bother you that he seemed upset with you?
“maybe you should go talk to him?”
you debated it in your mind. you probably should go check out what was bothering him, he was fine not even twenty minutes ago at dinner, but you also wanted to stay and talk to chan. you wanted to catch up, to vent.
as if reading your mind, chan turned you to face him.
“hey, go. we’ll see each other plenty now. your mom wanted us to give you space for a while, but the guard is back on full duty.”
you nodded, eyes trained on your bedroom door. you walked away from chan practically the moment he gave you the good to go, stepping into your bedroom and shutting the door behind you. 
it didn’t take you long to find minho. he was sat in his desk chair, fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. he didn’t look up until you addressed him.
your voice was soft, “minho?”
if he hadn’t been so frustrated, he would have celebrated at your caring tone.
instead, he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.
“what?”
your frown grew, “what happened? are you okay?”
“yeah,” he stood from his seat, mumbling as he crossed the room to the closet, where he pulled out his sleeping clothes and began to unbutton his day shirt, “i’m fine.”
maybe he expected you to leave it at that. it seemed that’s what he wanted, considering his choice to suddenly switch to his night clothes. whenever he started to undress, you hurried out of the room. this time, though, you were worried about him. actually worried about him.
so you stayed put.
“minho, i can tell that’s not true. you’re upset.”
he scoffed. as if your words had broken some dam inside of him, he let his frustrations free. his hands flew into the air, completely abandoning his shirt, which he had barely begun to unbutton.
“pardon me for not cheering when i see another man kissing my fiancé!”
“you- chan? you’re upset because i was speaking to my best friend.”
you said it more as a statement than a question.
“no,” he took a couple steps towards you, abandoning his sleep it’s clothes over the foot of the bed, “i’m upset because he kissed you.”
“on the forehead.”
“you wouldn’t let me do that though, would you?”
he was right in front of you now. you stuttered before replying, and it clicked in your mind: he was jealous. your demeanor softened.
“you’re mad that i let him kiss me and not you?”
he took a step back, running a hand through his hair as he nodded, a small pout on his lips.
the sight triggered something inside of you. he looked so real, so sad. he looked, for a lack of better words, genuinely hurt. it put the notion in your head that maybe he did care more about marrying you than just taking control of your kingdom.
you sighed, walking past him and to the closet, grabbing your change of clothes before stepping off into the bathroom to change. you heard him let out a soft sigh as you shut the door behind you, he must have assumed you dropped the topic. you didn’t know if he was glad that a fight hadn’t escalated or if he was upset that the conversation didn’t get to the point where he could kiss you and blame it on a flurry of emotions and jealousy.
you got into your sleeping clothes and, trusting that he had changed as well, you stepped back into the bedroom without asking if it was okay. you went straight for the bed, wordlessly finding a comfortable position as he slid in beside you. he reached out to shut off the lights and lay flat on his back, taking deep breaths and trying to get himself to calm down enough to sleep when he felt a weight on his waist followed by a warm presence pressing up against his side. he made a small sound of surprise as he looked down.
there you were, arm draped over his torso, cuddled into his side. your eyes were shut and your head rested against his chest.
any frustration he’d felt towards you far gone, he took the chance to wrap his arms around you, securing you to his body as if you were going to run away at any moment. he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. it was so light you wondered if he’d meant for you to feel it at all.
you shifted slightly, keeping your arm around his waist as you offered a small smile against his chest.
“there. even.”
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things got easier from then on, although you wouldn’t admit it. you’d dropped your attempts  at hating your new fiancé, how were you supposed to dislike him? you hadn’t dropped your hard feelings towards the situation and you definitely hadn’t agreed or started complying to the wedding, but you could bring it upon yourself to keep trying to be cold to minho. not even when the day was filled with wedding planning and dress fitting.
you’d woken up still in minho’s arms, even more so than you’d been when you had fallen asleep. your back was flat against his chest and one of his legs was sprawled over yours, practically trapping you as his arms held you around the waist. 
maybe you should have been surprised to wake up that close to him or tried to pry his hands off of you, but you didn’t, and you didn’t want to. you hated yourself for it, but you were beginning to really consider the idea that he was your best bet. maybe complying and marrying him would be safer and more pleasant than anyone else your parents might throw your direction in the future if this wedding got called off. 
minho shifted beside you, groaning at the light and removing an arm from your body to rub his eyes. the instant he did it, he dropped his arm back around you and held you close, as if he’d made a mistake by letting you go in the first place.
you laughed, and that’s always a good way to start a day.
it amazed minho how much your attitude towards him could change overnight. granted, you weren’t holding his hand and offering him kisses everywhere you went, but you had started actually initiating conversations with him. you joked with him and allowed yourself to laugh at his jokes, you didn’t even ignore him that much anymore. you weren’t treating him like your soon to be husband yet, but still. you treating him like a friend was better than you treating him like an enemy, even if it’s not what he really wanted.
“oh my god.” you groaned, “if i have to look at one more fucking shade of purple that looks exactly like the last and say which looks better i will absolutely lose my shit.”
he laughed, “you’re the one who said i would look hot in purple.”
you sent a glare his way, but it wasn’t like the ones you used to show him. it was joking, friendly.
“i did not say you’d look hot.”
“i think you did.”
“i can promise you i didn’t.”
“no, i’m pretty sure i remember you saying it. i think your exact words were, ‘oh, how lucky am i to have this treasure of a man as my future husband, i think purple-‘“
he was cut off by a call from the doorway of the room the two of you had been in practically all day, helping choose colors and getting fit for your wedding apparel. 
“y/n, prince minho, dinner’s done.”
you knew immediately by the choice of laid back words that it was chan. no one else, not even your other friends, spoke to you like that outside of private.
you turned to the door, “one of these days i’m going to have you tarred and feathered for disrespecting me, bang chan.”
he laughed, “i’m sure you are.”
you met him at the door before minho even had the chance to stand, shoving him lightly.
“i am! watch, i’ll bring it up at dinner.”
he laughed, walking beside you as the three of you made your way to the dining room.
“isn’t it impolite to discuss executions during meal time?”
minho walked silently beside you, it was like you’d completely forgotten his existence once chan showed up.
“i might just break etiquette to speed up your punishment.”
another small laugh from him and then you were walking through the doors and into the dining room. you and minho took your seats at the table and chan took his standing along the wall with the rest of the guard and staff.
you turned to minho, “do you think we’re done for the day, then? or do we have more purple to look forward too?”
he shrugged your attempt at a joke off, trying not to show how bothered he was. so that’s how it was going to be? the second chan leaves, then he’s interesting enough to talk to again?
“maybe they’ll finally start making decorations and the suit and dress.”
either you hadn’t noticed his attitude change or didn’t care enough to react.
“i wonder how quickly they’ll pull things together.”
you really didn’t know. they could rush and work their butts off and you could be getting married within the next week, or they could take as much time as needed for preparations. you didn’t know. and if your parents had any clue, they didn’t bring it up.
their chosen dinner conversations were the same as they had been for the past many nights. talk about the wedding, who was going to be invited. was it bad manners to invite the brides minho had rejected? or was it polite? a good portion of the time not eating was spent with your mother trying to convince you to care more about the wedding. she was wholeheartedly convinced that you’d changed your mind and fallen in love with minho because you were being friendly now. she expected you to care more about the planning now that you didn’t seem so against it.
hurrying away from the dining room as soon as possible by claiming you’d had enough wedding talk for the day, which wasn’t a lie, you and minho made your way back to your bedroom. his earlier frustrations were forgotten as the two of you sat on the bed and talked about various books across the bookshelf. 
as it turned out, some of the books ended up having to be put in storage. not for a lack of room, but simply because two copies were not needed. you shared a lot of the same interests.
“i told you,” he said, only half joking, “we’re meant for each other.”
you shoved him, pulling the book from his hands. before you could reply, he was speaking again.
“be careful! that’s my copy!”
you laughed, clutching the book to your chest and turning away as he reached for it.
“not anymore! it’s ours.”
“it is not. that is very much so mine.”
“no,” you insisted, moving again to keep him from grabbing it, “nothing in this room is yours. it’s all ours. or mine.”
he laughed, stopping his useless attempts at grabbing the book. 
“yours?”
you nodded, “my stuff is still mine. but yours is ours now.”
with that, he jumped on you, tackling you onto your back. you dropped the book somewhere during the attack and it made a loud noise as it fell to the floor.
“what about you?” he asked, easily keeping you from struggling, “you’re mine, aren’t you?”
you stopped struggling, showing him the game was over.
“i don’t belong to anyone.”
you easily shoved him off of you in his stunned state. he hadn’t meant to offend you.
“y/n, that’s not what i meant.”
you cut him off as you shut the bathroom door behind you, night clothes in hand. you took significantly longer to change than you needed, both you and him knew that. he would have had time to crawl into bed and fall asleep three times over as he as waiting for you, but he didn’t. truth be told, he wasn’t sure if he was capable of falling asleep without you beside him anymore. he might have to test that theory, he didn’t know if you would let him hold you that night after he unintentionally upset you.
just as things were beginning to work, he messed it up. he really hadn’t meant to imply he owned you in any way, he was only trying to be cute, maybe get you to say yourself that you were going to marry him, maybe even that you wanted to.
he didn’t know the exact rules of falling in love, but if he could say anything for certain it would be that he was in love with you. maybe it was when he saw your name on that paper and his fantasy became a possible reality that he really fell, or maybe it was when he saw you face to face for the first time after learning you’d be the one he’d marry, he really didn’t know. he had no clue when it changed from some childish crush into fill blown love, but it did.
was it even possible to be in love with someone you’d only met a handful of times and were only paired to marry a few weeks prior? it must have been. otherwise, how would he explain the feeling in his chest whenever he saw you?
when you finally came out of the bathroom, you silently put your clothes in the basket and crawled into bed. like always, minho switched off the lights and secured the covers over himself, shifting until he found a comfortable position. he was debating in his mind if he should reach out and try to hold you or if that would just make everything worse when you scooted so your back was to his chest, not outright cuddling him but giving the invitation.
he obliged immediately, wrapping his arm around you while the other went to play with your hair. he placed another one of his gentle, barely-there kisses to the side of your head as he muttered a soft, “i’m sorry.”
he didn’t know whether you replied or not, he fell asleep as the last syllable fell from his lips.
you didn’t go as easily. if your internal clock was at all accurate, you’d been laying there for  at least two hours, wide awake. you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was keeping you up, probably the wedding, maybe the small fight with minho. either way, you could think of a better way to spend the time as long as you weren’t going to fall asleep.
carefully, you pulled minho’s arms off of you and slowly crawled out of bed, trying your hardest not to wake him up. you stood at the side of the bed for a moment, watching minho to make sure you hadn’t disturbed him, before creeping over to the door. you opened it as quietly as possible and peaked out. neither of the guards stationed outside your room were chan.
felix was on duty though, and he sent you a confused look as you stepped into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind you. 
“where are you going? if you need something i’ll get it for you.”
you shook your head, “just can’t sleep. is chan in the bunks?”
felix nodded and you started off down the hallway towards the rooms the guards slept in when they didn’t have night duty. 
“hey, wait,” felix called after you, moving slightly as if he were going to follow, “i’m not technically supposed to let you go alone.”
you frowned at him, “it’s literally two minutes away and i’m headed to a room full of guards. i’ll be fine.”
he thought for a moment before moving back to stand in his original position, “fine. but if some hallway demon kills you on the way there that’s on you.”
you chuckled at his joke and made your way through the halls and to the wing that houses all of the staff that lived there. you weren’t technically supposed to go there at night, you weren’t really supposed to even leave your room at night, but none of the guards in the halls tried to stop you on your journey. it wasn’t uncommon for you to visit chan at night, especially not when you were younger. the both of you used to have trouble sleeping and it was much easier for you to sneak out and into his room than the other way around.
you gently opened the door and stepped into the room, heading right for chans bed. there were a dozen other sleeping guards, not all of them from your personal guard, also asleep on their own beds. you tapped chan awake, stifling your laugh when he flinched awake.
you used to wake him at least half of the nights he didn’t have duty, yet he still flinched every time you woke him up.
he looked confused to see you there but he didn’t hesitate to stand and follow you into the hallway.
when there, you went down away from the doors so you could talk freely without disturbing anyone and slid down the wall. chan did the same, seating himself right next to you.
“what’s up? you haven’t woken me up in the middle of the night for a while.”
you laughed, “yeah, i don’t know. i couldn’t sleep. plus, i’ve missed you. even with the guard back, i haven’t been able to spend time with you recently.”
he nodded, leaning to rest his head on your shoulder, “i know. i’ve missed you too.”
there was a brief pause before he spoke again.
“what’s on your mind?”
you scoffed lightly, “i don’t think there’s room for anything other than thoughts about the wedding right now. i can’t even breathe without someone mentioning it.”
chan chuckled, “it is kind of a big deal.”
you ignored him, “i don’t want to marry minho, chan.”
he took a deep breath, “why?”
“why?”
“why? tell me exactly what’s so bad about him.”
you didn’t hesitate before answering, “i’m being forced into it! i didn’t even get a choice, chan!”
he ignored your words, “no, what’s bad about him? not the situation, not the wedding, minho.”
you thought for a moment, wracked your brain for answers, but you couldn’t think of one genuine issue you had against him specifically.  you’d actually began to enjoy being around him.
chan waited for a while before he decided you weren’t going to answer.
“it seems to me like you two click really well.”
you shrugged.
“i think you should give him a chance, y/n.”
your brows furrowed in confusion, “what do you mean?”
“i mean i think you’re upset because you don’t want to get married, not because you don’t want to get married to him. and i think he might be changing your mind whether you know it or not.”
your frown didn’t lift.
“have you ever thought that maybe it’s fate that he ended up being your only option?”
not only did your frown once again not lift, it got deeper.
“i’m telling you y/n, a best friend knows. no matter how much you say you hate him, you’re falling for that boy.”
you cut in without hesitation, “no, i am not.”
his eyes widened and a grin spread across his face, “you are! no one is that defensive when they’re not lying.”
you hit him lightly and he continued, “for real, y/n. i think you like him more than you realize. just play nice for a while.”
“i am playing nice.”
“no,” he said, “you’re acting nice. actually let your guard down around him. let him in. let yourself feel the things you’re feeling for him.”
you grumbled. if anyone was going to be able to talk you into this marriage, it would be chan.
“okay.”
he followed your actions as you stood up.
“do you want me to walk you back?”
you shook your head, “i’ll be fine. go back to bed.”
he chuckled at your grumpy attitude, pulling you into a tight hug before letting you go. he watched until you turned a corner and he could no longer see you before stepping back into his room.
felix greeted you at your bedroom door.
“no hallway demons?”
“no hallway demons.”
“you’re lucky.”
you laughed at the boy and sent him a weird look to which he smiled in return. just as you had earlier, you carefully retraced your steps until you were back in bed with minho. taking chan’s request for you to try to warm up more to the idea of marrying minho, you secured yourself next to him, wrapping an arm around his torso. although, you probably would have done that even if minho’s name hadn’t even come up in your and chan’s conversation. you were finding that being in minho’s arms while you slept felt good. the thought that being held by anyone while sleeping would be comforting, it wasn’t just minho, crossed your mind before chan’s words echoed in your head.
“let yourself feel the things you’re feeling for him.”
maybe it was that it was minhos arms that made it so gentle and caring. if you thought about it, you couldn’t make a list longer than what you could count on one hand of who you would let sleep in the same bed as you, let alone cuddle you while sleeping. you’d only ever fallen asleep in minho of chans arms. and your parents, of course.
maybe you did feel deeper for the boy than you let yourself realize. maybe, despite every word coming out of your mouth insisting that you didn’t, you wanted to marry him.
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several days went by, several wedding preparations were made. it turned out that they’d decided to go the rushed route, planning to hold the wedding ceremony as soon as possible. it was only two day’s out now. even though you still hadn’t even officially stated your acceptance of the wedding, preparations were in full force.
as you studied your reflection and took in the details of the gown you’d be wearing as you walked down the isle, you wondered how hard the seamstress’ must have worked to produce such a gorgeous piece of art in only a few days.
it was the traditional white color and it wasn’t anything overly fancy, you’d made it clear you wouldn’t wear it if it was. despite how quickly it had been made, it was clear it wasn’t rushed. every stitch looked perfect.
there were small embroidered designs along the fabric, popping out against the white of the base. the designs were a beautiful lilac purple, and although you knew that you and minho had chosen the exact shade, you wouldn’t have been able to decipher the shade from any of the other light purples that the seamstresses had in stock.
you assumed that minho had the same purple accenting his suit, but you had no clue what it looked like. your mothers were very adamant about neither of you seeing each other in the wedding apparel before the big event.
you bet he looked amazing.
you continued to admire yourself and the dress as several people checked the fitting, making sure the sizing was perfect and didn’t need any more alterations. when they decided it was, you found yourself not wanting to take the dress off quite yet. you couldn’t help but be excited for the next time you’d get to wear it.
minho was waiting for you when you stepped out of the room and into the hallway. apparently his fitting had taken less time than yours. suits did tend to be easier to size.
you let him take your hand as the two of you made your way to your bedroom. you’d taken chan’s advice and stopped shoving down emotions, and it made you realize how much you genuinely enjoyed minho. as much as you hated the way things worked and the way you got put together, you were beginning to think that maybe it had some sense to it. chan might have been right when he said that minho being your only choice was fate.
you dropped his hand to pick up the watering jug and fill it. he insisted on carrying it to your garden. you made no attempt to take it back when he held it out for you.
“no,” you laughed, “i showed you how to tell if they need watered yesterday. you do it.”
his eyes widened, “y/n, i seriously don’t think you want me to do that, i’ll kill them.”
“you will not,” you giggled, “but fine. i’ll help you.”
you approached the first plant along with him. it was a large basil plant. you didn’t use it for cooking or baking, the garden had plenty of basil that was used to harvest, but this one was just for show.
“check the soil.”
he did as you instructed, pressing his fingers into the dirt to check for moisture.
“i think it’s okay?”
his words came out as more of a question than a statement.
you reached forward and double checked, smiling and clapping your hands together when you realized he’d gotten it correct.
he did the same for the next plant, a lavender bush, claiming more confidently now that it didn’t need watered yet either. you checked, letting out an exaggerated gasp.
“i can’t believe you’re trying to kill my lavender plant. how could you?”
he sputtered, “i’m not! i really thought that it was fine!”
you huffed, taking the water from his hand and watering the plant.
“i can never trust you again.”
you started to check the other plants, watering a few of them. he complained and promised he’d learn better, but you continued to ignore him.
“my own fiancé... trying to kill my babies.”
you only stopped teasing him when he wrapped his arms around you from behind, holding you tight and promising into your shoulder that he didn’t want to hurt your plants.
you turned to face him, his hands still resting on your hips.
“okay, i’ll give you one more chance.”
you gestured towards the last few plants you had yet to check, a couple flowers that minho couldn’t what you said were named.
he walked up to them, taking his time to check them before turning to you.
“the yellow ones are okay, the purple and blue ones need watered.”
you eyes him suspiciously as you went to check his claim, breaking out in a smile when you found that he was correct.
“technically, the yellow ones could use a little water, but i’ll say you passed.”
he laughed and watched you water the last plants before reaching out your free hand and taking hold of his. you set the watering can by the door and made your way back to your bedroom where minho dropped your hand and headed to his desk.
he’d grown confident enough in your comfort towards him that he wasn’t afraid to do things like that anymore, drop your hand or break away from a hug. he knew you’d let him hold you again. it wasn’t like less than a week earlier where he felt like you might run away if he didn’t hold you tight enough.
he leaned down and shuffled through some papers on his desk. you recognized them as archery point sheets. he hadn’t been lying when he said he was good, he scored nines and tens easily from distances you wouldn’t have even been able to get close to hitting the target at, even after letting him give you some tips on aiming.
you snickered as you pulled out one specific scoring sheet that caught your eye. it was an insanely long distance round, the longest he’d ever tried yet, and he’d managed to score two nines and an eight.
you laughed as you help the paper up, “an eight? you suck.”
he tried to glare at you, but a smile poked through. you saw him made a move and dropped the paper, darting to get away from him.
he caught you quite easily, tackling you onto the bed. he held you loosely as he straddled you.
“take it back. say i’m the best archer you’ve ever seen.”
you shook your head, smile plastered on your lips.
“take it back!” he whined.
you shook your head again, trying not to laugh.
“whatever.” he released you from his grip, crawling off of you, “this is why i tried to kill your plants.”
you gasped, “i knew it!”
he laughed as he reached for his pajamas, stepping into the bathroom and pulling the door lightly shut. it didn’t close all the way, there was still a small crack. he wasn’t as shy as you were, you’d learned that all too well. you were surprised he even went into the bathroom at all.
he waited until he heard you drop your day clothes into the bin before coming back into the bedroom. he put his dirty clothes next to yours and crawled into bed beside you, following his same routine of shutting off the lights before pulling you into his arms.
as he always did with you there beside him, he fell asleep easily.
you had fallen into a deep sleep as well before something woke you up a couple hours later. you couldn’t say what it was that had woken you, maybe it was nothing at all. regardless, you sat there for a few minutes before realizing you weren’t going back to sleep any time soon. you looked at the boy beside you.
you considered waking him up to keep you company until you could fall asleep again, but decided against it. he looked too peaceful. chan, however, you had no issue waking from a peaceful sleep.
sitting a few yards from any doors leading to people sleeping, you spoke to your best friend.
“am i going crazy, channie?”
he hummed, “probably, but why?”
you sent a light glare towards him before answering, “being kind of excited for the wedding.”
he broke out into a huge grin, “i so called it.”
you frowned in confusion and he continued.
“i said you were in love with him and you so are.”
you shook your head, “i’m not... in love with him,” 
why did the words seem foreign? 
“i just think i might, i don’t know, actually see us working out, and not just as a royal couple, together to rule. like as a genuine pair.”
he made a sound of understanding, “you’re totally in love with him.”
you didn’t deny it a second time.
you frowned as you approached your bedroom door. there was a faint light peaking out from under the crack in the door. you inched it open to find minho awake, sat up on the bed reading with a single lamp on. he looked up when he heard you enter.
“hey,” you greeted him, “why are you awake?”
he shrugged, “guess i got cold without you next to me.”
you got back into bed with him, pulling the blankets over your legs and leaning over to see what he was reading.
“what are you reading?”
he shut the book momentarily, marking his page with his finger and showing you the cover before flipping it back open and resuming where he left off.
you frowned. it wasn’t like him to ignore you like this.
“is something wrong? did you have a nightmare?”
he shut his book, tossing it to the ground beside his side of the bed. he pressed his lips together.
“yeah, i keep having these dreams that my fiancé is leaving in the middle of the night to secretly meet up with some guy. it’s weird.”
you raised your eyebrows, “who told you that?”
he shrugged, “asked the guard outside the door one night after you left what you were doing, he said you were visiting chan.”
you nodded, “yeah, i do that sometimes, is that an issue?”
he scoffed, “no, i just brought it up for fun.”
you pursed your lips, “really, minho? why does it bother you so much?”
there was no hesitation in his next words, almost as if he’d been itching to say them for a while now.
“is there something going on between you two?”
you scoffed, “seriously? you really think that?”
by now he had stood from the bed, “it doesn’t seem so crazy.”
you stood as well, challenging him as you stepped around the bed and in front of him.
“yeah, it does. it sounds insane.”
he looked you straight in the eyes, “does it? because it makes perfect sense to me. you won’t let me kiss you, you won’t sign the marriage contact even though you know you’re stuck with me, you’re so comfortable around him and you keep leaving in the middle of the night to meet with him in secret. it literally screams affair, y/n!”
“you seriously believe that i would cheat on you?”
“i don’t even think you see it as cheating since you don’t take a single fucking part of our relationship seriously.”
he took a step forward and you instinctively stepped back.
“i do take it seriously.”
he continued to close in on you until your back was pressed to the wall.
“then act like it.”
without thinking, you did just that. you acted.
you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down, crashing his lips to yours. it wasn’t what you’d expected your first kiss to be like, you’d actually imagined it would be at the altar, but you weren’t complaining.
he reacted immediately, hands finding their way across your body. he slid one down your leg, stopping at your thigh and tapping it. you got the message, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist. your back collided with the wall and the paintings hung there shook a little, but  you couldn’t be bothered to care. not when he tasted as good as he did.
one hand secure on your thigh to hold you up, the other found its way under your night gown and up your bare leg to the bare skin of your torso. he broke away for a moment as his fingers inched higher up.
“is this okay?”
you barely had time to mumbled a yes before your lips were back on his. you hadn’t realized you wanted to kiss him so bad until you finally did.
he let you breathe for a second as he peppered kisses along your neck, his hand exploring your body under your gown. his fingers found their way to your breasts and he squeezed one, causing a soft moan to fall from your lips.
he cursed at the sound, attaching his lips back to yours and turning to walk you to the bed. he easily sat you down, back to the mattress, and hiked up your night dress. you let out another soft moan when his hands finally made their way to your core. he ran his fingers over your clothed folds.
“you swear this is only mine?”
you nodded, “yes.”
“you promise?” he spoke between kisses, “tell me you promise.”
“i promise.”
that seemed to be enough for him as he growled against your lips, slipping his hand down the waistband of your panties.
you struggled to keep quiet as he finally made direct contact to your dripping core.
he cooed, “what, baby? no need to be quiet. who’s gonna hear? the guards?” you could feel his breath against your neck, “is chan on duty? is he right outside the door? let him hear you.”
you could only whine in response as he toyed with your clit.
you made a sound of annoyance when he pulled his hand from your panties, but your disappointment didn’t last for long. he pulled you to sit up so he could remove your night clothes, tossing them god knows where on the ground. he let out a deep groan as his eyes came on contact with your bare chest.
he brought his hands up to cup them, one in each hand.
“you’re gorgeous.”
he let one of his hands fall back to caressing the rest of your body and replaced it with his lips, taking your nipple into his mouth. despite his earlier demands not to try to silence yourself, a hand flew to your mouth as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan for how little stimulation you were getting.
he popped off your breast and licked a long stripe down your stomach until he reached the waistband of your underwear. he glanced up at you to make sure you were still on board before looking his fingers on them and pulling them down your legs. immediately, you tried to close your legs in embarrassment, but he easily held them open. 
he placed sloppy kisses to your neck as his fingers teased your entrance.
“has he ever seen you like this?”
“no.”
“you really expect me to believe that?”
“it’s true.” your words came out strangled as he slowly began to slide a finger into your heat. it was unusual and uncomfortable at first, but you got used to it, nearly screaming when he curled his finger and a line of pleasure shot through you.
he hummed, “i can tell you’re not lying, baby. no one is this sensitive if they’ve been fucking their royal guardsman behind their fiancé’s back.”
you whined as he added another finger, “haven’t- haven’t done this before.”
he hushed you, “i know, angel. you’re doing so well, just relax.”
you gripped tightly onto his shirt as he continued to work his fingers inside of you. with a particularly rough curl of his fingers, you felt something inside of you let go and a wave of pleasure flowed over your body. you let out the most heavenly sounds as minho worked your through your orgasm and he felt a swell of pride knowing that he was the only one who had ever made you feel so good. he was the only one who would ever make you feel this way.
he rode you through your orgasm before placing a gentle kiss to your lips. you tugged are the bottom of his shirt.
“are you sure, baby?”
you nodded, far too worked up to let out coherent words. he complied, slipping his shirt over his shoulders and ridding himself of his pants. you stared at his chest, reaching out to touch his skin before you even realized you were doing it. you slid your hand down his body until you came in contact with his hard length. he hissed as your hand wrapped around him, slowly stroking him. you couldn’t keep your eyes off of his cock as you basked in the sounds he made. the sounds you made him make.
he reached down and grabbed your wrist, “baby, i won’t last much longer if you keep this up.”
you nodded, reluctantly letting him guide your hand away from his length. you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your fingers in his hair as you felt him like himself up with your entrance.
the noise you let out when he began to sink into you could only be described as divine. minho had to stop for a moment and recollect himself, he really wouldn’t last long if you sounded like that at every move he made.
after a few moments, he was fully buried inside of you. he waited for you to adjust to his size before slowly pulling out, only to roughly slam back into you.
he had every intention of going slow and being gentle for your first time, but everything, from the way your pussy felt wrapped around him to the way you moaned out his name was too much for him.
despite his previous remark for you to let yourself be loud, he guided your face to his shoulder when he became genuinely concerned you may wake the entire castle.
“bite down.”
you did as he said, sinking your teeth into the flesh of the junction between his shoulder and neck. he let out a sound that made you think for a moment that you’d bitten too hard, but when you released your grip he groaned out, asking you to do it again.
he brought his hand between your bodies and began running slow circles onto your clit as his cock worked magic inside of you.
“im close. gonna fill you up, is that okay?”
you barely managed to get out a yes through the pleasure you were feeling. 
“fuck, gonna let me fuck my babies into you, huh?”
he adjusted your legs and the new angle plus his fingers working expertly on your clit threw you over the edge. 
“you’re going to be a great mother one day.”
you bit down hard on his shoulder as you came, only releasing the grip to tell him how good he was making you feel.
he came soon after, muttering praises and gushing about how good you did. he groaned as he gave a last few thrusts, watching as his and your cum leaked out with every thrust of his hips. the sight nearly made him hard again.
he pulled out, grabbing his discarded night shirt and wiping his length off before tossing it to the side again. he leaned back over you, connecting his lips to yours to swallow the whine you let out when his fingers connected back to your core.
he collected the cum that had dripped out and spread itself along your thighs and onto the sheets, pushing it back into you with his fingers.
he hushed you as you whined from overstimulation, “i know baby, i know, but we don’t wanna waste any, do we?”
you shook your head.
“no, we don’t. that’s my good girl.”
he connected his lips back to yours, “you’ll look gorgeous with my baby in your belly.”
you were honestly too fucked out to process anything that was happening, just laying there and letting him do what he wanted. despite the discomfort the overstimulation brought, you couldn’t help but complain when he pulled his fingers out of you, wiping them on his night shirt and slipping your panties back onto you.
needless to say, you slept easily after that.
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you were beyond sore the next morning, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. the achy legs and raw throat were worth it.
you hurried to get dressed and shower off the sweat and other substances on your body the next morning before hurrying down for breakfast. minho had showered with you, insisting that since he made the mess, he should clean it up.
although your parents had already been confident that you’d changed your mind about the wedding, if anyone had doubts, including yourself, they were long gone.
a drastic change from even just the day before, you and minho stole kisses nearly any time you could. leaning over to grab the salt? kiss. walking past him to grab a book? kiss. sitting down waiting for more orders on how to help prepare for the wedding that was only a day away? kiss, kiss, kiss.
you’d been so caught up in your newfound love for kissing your fiancé that you didn’t even notice as chan snuck up to talk to you.
instinctively, minho’s arm tightened around your waist. he believed you when you promised him that you and chan were just friends, but he was still protective.
“so... hyunjin tells me i was right.”
you frowned in confusion, “what?”
“hyunjin said i was right. he had guard duty outside of your room last night and he told me you really warmed up to minho overnight.”
you nearly choked on your own spit at the realization that not only had your guards, your friends, heard last nights events, by the sound of it, they’d told everyone else.
minho didn’t even try to his hide proud smile has you blushed, covering your face in his chest.
chan turned to minho, “i knew she’d fall for you eventually. she used to gush about how cute you were when we were kids.”
you opened your mouth to protest, “that is not true.”
it really wasn’t. maybe you’d mentioned that he was easier to be around than many of the other royal, stuck up kids, but you had never said anything close to what chan claimed.
chan turned to minho, nodding his head as he scratched his nose, “it’s totally true.”
“it’s literally just not.”
he made a sound of disagreement.
“that is a big fat lie and you know it!”
you reached out to hit him and he dodged it, making a scene out of saying felix called him before hurrying away. you turned to minho.
“it’s not true.”
he shrugged, “it’s probably true.”
“it’s not!”
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when you walked down the isle, minho could have swore his heart stopped. you looked gorgeous. the dress framed you perfectly and the delicate flower crown placed on your head looked just on you. he made a mental note to compliment whoever had planned your full outfit.
the closer you got, the more minho worried that your vows would be droned out by the sound of his heart beating against his rib cage.
you finally stepped in front of him, letting him get a clear view of you in your dress for the first time. you weren’t much better, speechless as you took in how handsome he looked. your felt your eyes began to well up at the realization of what was happening. who would have known you’d be crying from happiness, not disappointment or fear?
your eyes met minho’s own glassy ones and you let out a small laugh, speaking so only he could hear.
“i was right when i said you’d look hot in purple.”
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hansolmates · 4 years
Text
hoshi; vowels and veracity (m)
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summary: after a blind date that makes you feel like a giddy teenager all over again, you’re forced to grow up and take a chance when you realize that special someone is your daughter’s kindergarten teacher. pairing: teacher!soonyoung x single mother!reader genre/warnings: fluffity fluff nuggets, humor, a lil bit of angst when yn panics, *steve rogers voice* language! alcohol, unprotected sex (wrap the pickle before u tickle), face sitting w/c: 5.2k a/n: i really have nothing to say about this but i’ve been thinking about going back to school all week so this manifested. enjoy a lil sexy but sweet hosh💕 
“Y-you,” another giggle and the press of wet lips to the sensitive spot of your neck, “stop, Soonyoung! I’m ticklish there!” 
You feel a pout imprint itself in the sweet spot between your ear and your jaw, and you sigh at the rumble of his lips against your skin, “But you taste so sweet, baby,” he croons, and you’re practically melting between the door with how much Soonyoung has pressed himself against you, all of himself. 
“What if I don’t wanna stop, pretty girl?” he husks against your soft skin, whispering things in your ear that aren’t for the faint of heart. In your haste to keep a firm grip, one hand goes to his clothes and the other nips at the undercut of his midnight black hair, “what if I just open the door right now and we slip right in, and then I slip right in you?” 
Your breath hitches and suddenly your core feels like a timebomb, ready to combust. 
Go on a date, Joshua says. He’s a sweet guy, Joshua says. He’s a friend of Joshua’s, so you know going into this blind date that at the very least, he wasn’t a serial killer. But what Joshua failed to tell you going into this was how much Kwon Soonyoung packed and how much of a temptor in disguise he is. 
“I really would love to invite you in,” it looks like it pains Soonyoung to admit this, as he presses his forehead to yours and the edge of his fingers dig into your crushed emerald velvet number, “but tomorrow’s the first day of work and I am not emotionally prepared. But, I do want to see you again. I had a great time.” 
The previous mood melting into the night sky, you reluctantly let go of the lapels of his tweed blazer. Unable to suppress your crestfallen smile you nod, “That’s fine,” you reply, inching away from him to send him a pointed look, “I wouldn’t have gone inside anyway. I don’t put out on the first date,” you cross your arms in an attempt to feign nonchalance.  
Which isn’t a lie, although if Soonyoung had asked you two minutes ago to come inside for a cup of tea, you wouldn’t have argued. He is just that tempting. Said date raises an eyebrow in response, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear at the defiance in your eyes. “Oh?” he echoes, “then what date do you put out?” 
“Date seven.” 
“Lucky seven,” he grins, “so if we go on a date every day this week by Friday we should be good to go. How do you feel about steak?” 
You slap his shoulder in his response, and the giggle that erupts from his lips in response has you feeling dizzy and giddy with excitement. Soonyoung has you feeling like a college freshman all over again, floating like Cloud 9 and drunk in anticipation. You peck one, two more kisses on his lips. He tastes like the peach champagne you shared and his own scent as he pulls you in for a much longer, much hotter kiss. 
“Good luck on your first day,” you mumble against his lips, vaguely remembering that he’s a teacher in a school nearby. 
“Mm, text me when you get home,” and with a final kiss to your forehead he unlocks his door, leaving you warm and full of heart-eyes on his front porch. 
The walk home, more like float home, has you feeling all parts exhausted and hopeful for the days to come. For the first time in a long time you feel young and unbridled, thrumming with excitement. Now you’re just playing with your phone, waiting to exchange goodnight texts. 
“Nari’s asleep,” when you walk into your shared apartment, you spot a sleepy Seungkwan on his laptop and sprawled across your couch. “How was it?” 
“It was reealllly nice,” you’re still a little wine tipsy, drunk on the taste of Merlot and a certain someone’s kisses, “he was really sweet, and surprisingly sexy.” 
“Did you get dicked down?” Seungkwan asks only the most important questions. 
You scoff, flopping down on the couch next to him, “As if, we have work in the morning.” 
“Speaking of work, are you sure you’re not able to drop off Nari to school tomorrow? It’s her first day of kindergarten.” 
“I can’t,” saying it feels absolutely awful, but a single mother has to work extra hard to keep her and her daughter happy. 
“It’s fine,” Seungkwan easily waves you off and runs a hand through his fluffy auburn hair, “her favorite Uncle is there, anyway.” 
“Hey,” you lightly punch his arm, “I’ve already talked Nari through it. I’m cooking a big breakfast tomorrow—chocolate chip pancakes, duh, and taking a million pictures before we have to part ways. I packed a little Kit-Kat for her lunch with a sweet note. When I come back in time for dinner I promised her pizza from her favorite parlor and she can tell me everything about her day.” 
“So, you’re bribing her with food.” 
“Sue me, it’s every parent’s weak spot.” 
Seungkwan stretches his arms, cradling you between his chest. You sigh into his clean linen scent, feeling sleepy. “Yeah, I’ve bribed her with my Switch once or twice,” he admits softly, eyes also drooping, “but you’re a great mother regardless. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything tomorrow.” 
“Thanks, Kwannie,” you sigh, feeling more at ease. 
Nari is the light of you and Seungkwan’s life. Five years ago, you promised yourself that if you were more than financially stable and still sick with baby fever, you would adopt. You didn’t want to find a romantic partner for the sole purpose of having a child, you could easily do that on your own. And that you did, you researched and visited foster homes off in the countryside. 
In a little town off the coast of the shore was where you met Nari, only six months old and full with cherub cheeks and eyes that sparkled like the moon and stars. You fell in love with her instantly. Fast forward five years later and she’s the reason you wake up every morning and work hard every day. Seungkwan being your best friend, also wanted rights as the godfather and therefore is also part of your perfect family picture. 
You and Seungkwan sleep warmly tonight, both excited to share yet another year of Nari’s milestones. 
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“And then Mr. Kwon said I was an ‘ace’ with my vowels!” Nari has a string of cheese hanging from her chin, and you don’t bat an eye as you reach to pat it away with a napkin. 
“I wouldn’t expect any less, baby,” you coo, carding a hand through her hair so her bangs don’t get caught in her meal, “remember when mommy and Uncle Kwannie taught you the vowels this summer? We sang that song.” 
“Yes! I sang the same song and showed everyone how ‘ta do it,” your heart is swelling with pride, and you fight the urge to tear up because Seungkwan’s already showing signs of waterworks from his side of the table, “I read a book Mr. Kwon gave me today and he said he’s so impressed I read at a Level B.” 
You quirk your brows at the new jargon. You certainly don’t know what it means to be a Level B, but it makes Nari happy and that’s all that matters. Wiping the orange grease off her lips, you muse that you must get in contact with her teacher one of these days.
“What’s a Level B?” Seungkwan similarly looks stumped at the new vocabulary. 
“I don’t know!” Nari shrugs, but nevertheless her teacher’s attention has her glowing. 
You giggle, “I’m so happy for you, baby.” 
“I’m excited to go back tomorrow, I made a new friend! His name is Jeonghan and he helped me with my numbers today. He called my bows cute.” 
“Cute?” Seungkwan perks up from his stupor, “of course you’re cute, Nari. So cute that you’re too good for this Jeonghwan boy.” 
“Jeonghan, Uncle Kwannie,” she pouts when Seungkwan scoffs, in favor of shoving half a slice in his mouth. She turns to you, tugging on your blazer, “Mama, can I go watch TV now? I finished my homework and I wanna see the new Ladybug and Cat Noir!” 
“Of course,” you pull away her plate, gesturing for her to go to the living room. 
“Thank you mama,” and she’s bouncing off her seat, pushing her chair in and off to watch Miraculous Ladybug. 
You sigh, “They grow up so fast.” 
Seungkwan’s eyes widen at your age-old phrase, the words reminding him oddly of his parents when they used to talk down to him. “And here we are, aging twice as fast,” Seungkwan bemoans, already starting to feel the greasy food settle in his stomach. “We used to eat a whole pie! We could eat absolute garbage back in college and here I am weak at two slices—oh my god, am I having a ‘back in my day’ moment? We need to go out. I need to go out. I’ve been practicing consonants and vowels all day. I need a boyfriend,” he playfully narrows his eyes at you, “I need a boyfriend like yours, sweet and sexy.” 
“Sorry,” you stick out your tongue, “but he’s mine.” 
Perfect timing, Soonyoung’s name pops up on your phone. You two have been texting sporadically throughout the day, making plans for your next date. The two of you are going to watch a drive-in movie, a situation that screams teenage-back-of-the-truck-sex but the movie is a much anticipated favorite of yours and you genuinely want to watch it. 
Soonyoung is full of humor and laughs, getting you to smile and relax at the right times during work and always manages to keep you on your toes whenever he says something flirtatious. 
“Are you gonna introduce him to Nari?” 
You stop typing, and look up towards your beautiful little girl in the living room. Her hair is out of her pigtails, drooping tiredly like she is. Her cheek is pressed against her favorite plush cat, fighting for consciousness because she’s waiting for Marinette to save the day. Your heart swells with affection. 
“Dunno,” you shrug, trying not to think too hard about it, “we’re not that serious right now.” 
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You’re absolutely winded. You finished work early today, due to the fact that came in early so you could clock out and pick Nari up from school. Despite the fact that Nari says it’s okay for you not to pick her up, you can’t allow it and you want to be the one who she runs into when she comes out the door. 
“Who do you think she’s gonna hug first?” Seungkwan’s elbowing you, baiting you. “Because this morning she gave me a hug and three kisses before I dropped her off.” 
“Three?” you seethe in annoyance, “three kisses is our thing! Two on the cheek and one on the forehead!” 
The two of you slowly steep together, waiting for the colorful blue door to the kindergarten area to file out. The heel of your shoes are digging into the grass, probably making a needle-like  indentation in the dirt as you struggle not to seep into the lawn. You feel like you’re going to flop on your heels, wishing you could go run back into the car and find your flip-flops from last month’s beach trip. But before you could debate on the run the bell rings, and you’re on livewire when you see the students start to file out. 
Your smile grows ten-fold when you see Nari’s jaw drop in surprise, seeing you waiting for her. She fists whatever is in her hands in surprise, breaking into the cutest smile as she screams, “mama!” 
And you’re ready to hold your arms out and throw her around in circles, until you see who follows right behind her. 
Kwon Soonyoung is Nari’s kindergarten teacher. Kwon Soonyoung with his hair down and untextured, wearing a mint polo and looking nothing like the date you had the other night. He looks absolutely soft and so, you are weak. 
Kwon Soonyoung, the sexy deviant who sends you questionable texts and sends you funny puppy videos, is staring right at you and utterly confused when Nari rams straight into your hip. 
Momentarily distracted, you pepper your pretty daughter in kisses (all three of them, two cheeks and one forehead) and tell her how much you’ve missed her. Clearly she doesn’t miss you as much, as she’s waving around a picture she drew during playtime, one of her and Jeonghan in the sandbox. 
“Really, Nari,” Seungkwan mutters under his breath, shamelessly vocalizing his opinion on a five-year old, “can’t you choose a different friend?” 
“Seungkwan!” you chide, but he pointedly annoys you when Nari finally enters Seungkwan’s embrace. He takes extra time to cuddle her, obviously jealous that another boy has taken refuge in your little Nari’s heart. 
The moment is so sweet and simple you have no choice but to revel in it and take out your phone to snap a photo. 
“Mama!” she pops her head off of Seungkwan’s shoulder, “come meet Mr. Kwon!”
And she’s tugging your hand, only you’re much stronger and you stay firmly planted on the grass. Heck, you even sacrifice your shoes by digging your heels in for extra measure.Your eyes widen in panic, but Nari doesn’t notice because she’s paving a path of dirt with her lime green light-up sneakers, trying to get you to move. You nearly forgot your latest tryst is your daughter’s teacher, and you never told him you have a kid. 
But within seconds, there’s an audible slam and the three of you are shattered from your bubble. Turning to the noise the heavy navy door is now locked shut, all the students dismissed for the day. The crowd is gone. Soonyoung is gone. 
Seungkwan’s eyes dart between the closed door and you, the pieces clicking. His mouth forms a little ‘o’ and he nods in understanding. “He thinks I’m your baby daddy.” 
The two of you point out each other like the Spiderman meme. “He thinks you’re my baby daddy,” you echo, horror marrying your face. 
“Mama? What’s a baby daddy?” 
“Shh, Nari—” he picks up Nari in one swoop, mouthing a go to you as he leads her to the car. 
All alone on the grass, you panic as you watch your family grow smaller and smaller as they enter the parking lot. Soonyoung’s just behind that door, right? Looking left and right to assure no one is going to think you’re being that parent and harassing the teacher within the first week of school, you bound up the steps to knock on the door. Your knocks clang heavily, echoing against the building. 
Ten seconds pass. Nothing. 
You deflate, pulling out your phone to shoot Soonyoung a quick text. 
You: hey, can you come out for a bit so i can explain? Please
A minute passes. He leaves you on read. Defeated, you slump against the door. This day is really a whirlwind on your mental state. All you wanted today was some extra time off work, Nari’s three kisses, and maybe a goodnight text from Soonyoung if you were lucky. 
The door suddenly flips open, and you’re braced against someone’s hands. 
“Whoa, you okay?”
Your face crumples in relief when it’s Soonyoung that’s come out to respond to you. He’s bracing your weight by holding your arms between his hands, although keeping a respectable distance between the upper half of your bodies. It makes you a little upset, but you understand. Once you’re stable, he lets you go and leans away from you.
“Why are you waiting out here?” he asks pointedly, looking at you up and down. You seem terribly overdressed in your coral pinstripe suit, mismatching with Soonyoung’s apple sauce stains. 
“Why do you think I’m waiting out here?”
“And if I close the door again?” he retorts suddenly. 
“Then I’ll follow you home.” 
A beat passes, whatever expression he conveys on his face is practiced and primed. You have a terrible time trying to decipher his blankness. Working with kids probably does that to an adult. “Come in,” he says neutrally, and you wordlessly follow him into his classroom. 
The room is decorated beautifully, with rainbows and glitter. It’s also surprisingly organized, all the crayons in place and the play area free of stray toys. Your eyes instantly search for Nari’s desk, and a small smile fits on your face as you trace her handmade name tag. 
“Normally, I don’t let parents in my room until it’s Back to School Night,” Soonyoung says, leaning against his desk. It makes you terribly nervous, knowing the ball is in your court and he’s waiting for you to make a move. His carefree, easy going nature is nowhere to be found, and all you see is walls and a mean poker face. He pulls up the sleeves of his polo, exposing pale, strong arms. Your mouth waters a little (you can’t help it!) and you immediately reach for a bottle of water in your purse. “So, what is it you have to say?” 
“Seungkwan’s not my baby daddy,” you blurt, and you immediately blanch when Soonyoung’s eyes widen. “Wow uh. I didn’t mean to say it like that.” 
“But you did say it like that,” Soonyoung replies slowly, “no child just doesn’t give three kisses to someone who isn’t their father.” 
“I only called him my baby daddy because he said it first,” you grumble, almost childishly, “and Nari’s a baby, of course she’s going to give three kisses to anyone that feeds her and coddles her.” 
“It sounds like an excuse.” 
“It sounds like I’m freaking out because you keep talking back and forth like this!” you cry, slapping your hands against your thigh. You don’t have to look in a mirror to know that you’re quickly getting annoyed, your face morphing into a shade of embarrassment. You can’t tell if this is amusing him or this is a real interrogation. “Let me explain, Soonyoung!” 
He says your name slowly, deliberately. And then, “do you want to take a break in the Calm Down Corner?” 
“The—the what?” Soonyoung’s eyes flicker to a corner at the far end of the room. The radiator is decorated in a sky blue wallpaper, and there’s a yoga mat on the floor. There are chairs next to a desk filled with coloring pages, decorated with fairy lights. Filling three of the chairs are various stuffed animals, a tiger, a cat, and a panda, all dressed as doctors. It’s a child’s therapy corner. “You gotta be kidding me.” 
He raises a brow, and—is that a smile on his lips? “Then explain, why are you here?” 
“Because I think I really like you,” you confess, frustration melting away to reveal the uneasy upturn on your lips. You lied when Seungkwan asked if you would ever consider introducing Soonyoung to Nari. In a different world, you would’ve loved to take the time to take Nari to the museum and introduce Soonyoung there. They’d definitely bond over their love for tigers. “Seungkwan is my best friend, and helps me take care of Nari. I adopted her five years ago.” 
Something softens in Soonyoung’s eyes, and the air feels much more relaxed. But his dark brows remain knit together, and he looks at you with confused eyes. “Then if you like me so much, why didn’t you tell me you had a daughter?”
“Because kids can be deal breakers,” you admit, and the colorful classroom feels smaller as you hug yourself. “I just, wanted you to like me first.” 
It’s the primary reason why it’s taken you so long to date. Sure, there’d be a fling here and there, but nothing that feels as tangible as Soonyoung is. You’re not old enough to find a partner that wouldn’t blink at the sign of children, yet you’re still at that weird age threshold where a partner could immediately run for the hills at the mention of one. Nothing will top Nari, she’s number one in your heart, but the small selfish part wanted you to put the focus on yourself for just one night. 
“You don’t have to hide, I want every part of your life no matter how long we have,” he assures you gently, firmly without an ounce of regret. Soonyoung opens his arms, and you cry in relief when you get to collapse in the scent of his cologne. You tuck your head in the crook of his neck, slightly sweaty from whatever activities he needs to do with the kids, but you don’t mind. His voice is quiet, melting in your ears, “and I really like you too. I really like Nari as well, she’s a great kid.” 
“She is, isn’t she?” 
You two pull away, and he swipes a thumb under your eyes in case some tears manage to escape. “So, Friday? Movie?” 
“It’s a date.” 
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“Where’s Nari?” the question is huffed against your breath as you’re pressed between your freshly washed bedspread and Soonyoung’s body. He takes care in making sure the zipper of your delicate dress doesn’t get caught in the rush, easily slipping your dress off and throwing it on your desk chair. 
“At Seungkwan’s, why?” 
His cheshire cat eyes glow under the moonlight, positively devious. “It’s date seven,” he announces sweetly. His gaze betrays his saccarine reply, a look that only tells you that Soonyoung plans to fuck you five ways to Sunday, and you’ll gladly let him. 
You sit up on your elbows, enjoying the show as Soonyoung quickly sheds his clothing. It’s ungraceful, exciting. Tonight was a simple carnival date, easily making you feel like a giddy college student all over again. Soonyoung won you five Pokemon keychains today, you could put a whole party on your hand. 
“It’s actually date six,” you tease, tilting your head as his pants finally come off, revealing black boxer briefs that snug deliciously around the waist. 
“Oh, okay,” he looks at you like you’ve spoken God’s word, reaching to pick up his shirt, “so you don’t want my dick fucking you raw tonight? Okay, I see how it is,” he pretends to put on his clothing, jabbing a thumb out the door. 
You have the audacity to giggle, pulling him over by the waistband, “Come here so I can make an exception.”
You don’t know what it is that makes you want you want to give everything to this man. Heck, five years ago you didn’t even want a man as an excuse to have kids. But as he nudges you in all the right places and places you on top of him, you know this man will treat you like an absolute treasure. Every kiss is laced with smiles and sweetness, filled with vigor and vivacity that fills you up and leaves you afloat. 
He takes care of you first, unwilling to let you budge as he places your core over his face. He makes quick, but effective use of his tongue and fingers, making sure you’re nice and sensitive for his future plans. You’re practically throbbing with pleasure, vibrating from every cell of your body. Within minutes he’s glistening in your arousal, and he pulls you down so you’re lined up with his crotch. It’s involuntary when you pulse against his member, your body shamefully alerting you that it’s desperate with need, and the remedy is right under you. 
Soonyoung looks more satisfied than you, eager to please you. Without warning, he stuffs two fingers in your mouth, “You pretty, pretty girl,” you are keen at the attention, your body is glowing a radiant rose. 
Your tongue rolls against his fingers, sticky and tasting of your arousal. Tilting your hips up you let Soonyoung pull his member out, lining it against your entrance. Feeling the soft tip brush against your delicate folds, you moan against his mouth. With a little ‘pop’ he releases you, lips shiny and parted. 
“I hope you don’t think I’m some kind of hit-it-n’quit-it kind of guy,” he noses the sensitive spot of your jawline, which distracts you momentarily when the plush tip nudges your folds, coaxing you to unite. “Because after tonight, I’m definitely keeping you. Forever.” 
The reply that dances on your tongue is overtaken by your whines when Soonyoung slips in fully, forcing your body to clench tightly against his. You take him, all of him. You feel wet and sticky and hot and swollen with affection as Soonyoung praises you for taking him so well. His pace is firm and passionate, short nails digging deliciously into your hips for leverage as he makes sure to fill you to the brim. 
He’s right, tonight is far from being a means to an end. You feel like you can have nights like this the rest of your life. And when the both of you finish and you’re pulling the covers over one another, you finally manage to grasp the reply that was nearly forgotten. 
Pressing a kiss to his jaw you whisper, “I’m keeping you, too.” 
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“So, how long can we keep this a secret for?”
“Ideally? Ten months. Realistically, I’d say Christmas.” 
“Why Christmas?” 
“Because I know you’re going to be dying to get Nari a Christmas present.” 
Soonyoung props his elbow on the pillow, looking at you petulantly. “I could say it’s a good behavior reward. She’s been racking up those gold stars during morning meetings, babe. She’s not even trying.” 
“That’s my girl,” you coo, rolling over to lean your head on his chest. Light has long flooded into your apartment, seeping through your curtains and reflecting on your white duvet. Soonyoung looks absolutely fluffy and well rested, and you can’t help but reach to pat down the ebony bird’s nest atop his head. 
The two of you lay like that for a little bit, playing with each other’s cold feet under the covers and relishing under the touch of bare skin to bare skin. You remind yourself that you need to take Joshua out to dinner one of these days, as he managed the inevitable and set you up with  an amazing partner. 
“Breakfast?” Soonyoung pops the question easily, “let’s get steak.”
“Steak isn’t eaten for breakfast.” 
“Then can I eat you for breakfast?” 
You snort, hiding under the covers while Soonyoung attempts to tickle you. The whole act in itself feels wholly innocent despite the fact that you’re both naked and smell like sweat and sex. Just as you feel Soonyoung’s head dip under the covers to meet you at your chest, the door swings open. 
“Mama!” 
The previously warm room feels like wickedly sharp ice, freezing you to your spot as you clutch the covers closer to your chest. “Baby!” you cry exasperatedly, flinching when she throws all her weight on you. She’s still in her ladybug pajamas from last night, hair falling out of her braid. 
She lifts her head from your breast to give you an adorable one-toothed grin. You try your best to maintain eye-contact, but Nari has impeccable vision. Her grin evolves into a full-on beam when she finds your bed partner.
“Mr. Kwon!” she’s squealing, clamoring over your lap. You do a double-take when you see Soonyoung sitting next to you, wearing a t-shirt. Where on earth did he get that?
Soonyoung’s eyes reduce to crescents at his (secretly) favorite student. “Good morning, Nari-ah. Had a fun time at your Uncle’s house?” 
“Nari,” you force your daughter down to stand on the hardwood, giving her a stern look, “give Mr. Kwon some space, it’s really early and it’s the weekend.” 
Knitting her brows together, she looks between the two of you, “But you two don’t have any space.” 
You wince at her perception, and nudge yourself away so you’re pressed against your nightstand. The oakwood corner digs painfully into your back. 
“We were haviång a very special parent meeting,” you fight the urge to cry when Soonyoung turns on his teacher's voice, sending your daughter a very convincing smile. You watch as your daughter’s eyes go wide, probably feeling very special that her teacher came all the way to her house to have a meeting. “You’ve been doing so well during the read-alouds that I had to tell your mama in person!” 
“I told you mama!” Nari juts out her chest, and you lean over to kiss the crown of her head. “But Mr. Kwon, why are you having it in mama’s room?” 
“Her room is the warmest!” he says like it’s the most obvious thing, his and Nari’s eyes widening simultaneously as he gestures to the open window. “The sun travels directly into your bedroom in the morning, and those rays send heat—”
“Mr. Kwon,” your voice is as steady as it can be, and  you frown when Soonyoung wiggles his brows. You already know he’s thinking of three separate ways you can use the term Mr. Kwon in private, but you’re not having any of that, “shouldn’t we uh, wrap up this… meeting?” 
“I wanna stay,” Nari glowers, obviously nosy as to what you two are talking about.
“I know baby. We just gotta finish up the meeting, okay? Can you—” you cut  yourself off when Seungkwan finally decides to make his appearance, eyes wide at commotion he’s created. He’s in matching pajamas, ridiculously red as he bends down to scoop up Nari. Absolutely sweating and as red as his clothes, his eyes dart between the two of you. You could care less that Seungkwan’s eyes have bags under their bags, and was probably too tired to catch her when she ran inside the house. No, Seungkwan doesn’t deserve the title of godfather anymore. 
“Nari! You can’t interrupt teacher meetings,” Seungkwan pretends to scold, and Nari turns her head so she can hide in her Uncle’s shoulder. 
Knowing that Nari can’t see a thing, you mouth a very explicit I will kill you to your best friend, and he immediately mouths an apology to the both of you as he ushers himself out the door. You wait ten seconds for your daughter to be out of ear shot, before dropping the blanket from your neck and throwing yourself against the pillows. 
But Soonyoung’s chuckling, pressing a litany of kisses all over your bare body in an attempt to comfort you. Instead of reveling in his lazy morning touch, you want to disappear between the sheets, never to be seen. What will the PTO moms say when they find out? How will you stop Nari from telling Jeonghan, and therefore Jeonghan telling the entire kindergarten population? Why isn’t Soonyoung freaking out about this? Instead, he favors to taste your body, in between kisses muttering something about it being kismet that Nari so happened to see right as you were discussing the secrecy of your relationship. Ten years from now, your daughter will be horrified when she realizes that no, teachers don’t normally give housecalls in your mother’s bed.
Your boyfriend pinches your thigh, regarding you with mirth in his eyes. 
“So, that means I can buy her a Christmas present now, right?” 
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I and Love and You
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The fifth in Rafael Barba/Reader/Frederick Chilton threesome verse written in collaboration with @pascalispretty . Mood board also by the lovely and talented @pascalispretty !! Yep. We did this. Was it necessary? No. Did we enjoy it? Sometimes. Are you going to read it? I sure hope you do and that you like it! Cross posted on ao3!
Part Five of the series So Much Easier than You Realize
Warnings: Total and complete tooth rotting fluff. Schedule an appointment with your dentists, ladies and germs. Rafael is, as always, a bit of a jackass. You will probably have an incurable craving for breakfast food. And the teeniest tiniest mention of daddy kink. Rating: E for everyone because there is nothing objectionable in this at all, I did not think we could actually write something this sweet lol. Word Count: 3725 Summary: Mornings are for cookies and contemplation.
When Rafa wakes up, he spares a moment to sympathize with his growling stomach. More than one moment, if he’s being honest with himself. He isn’t normally an early riser but his stomach wouldn’t be so empty if he’d been allowed to have his bedtime snack and not rudely distracted by his two partners and an ingenious application of his second favorite blue tie. The result is pleasantly sore abdominal muscles and the rare opportunity to wake up in time to see the both of them still peacefully asleep in bed next to him.
Fred’s back is pressed close to his chest and his legs brush against Rafa’s as he levers himself up onto his elbow to look at her on Fred’s other side. Her face is tucked against Fred’s neck and the doctor’s arms are wrapped tightly around her, and Rafa smiles at them both, still asleep in the soft grey early morning light.
Fred shifts, and an irritable frown passes over his face the longer Rafa uses him to balance himself to stare at the two of them, so Rafa quickly presses a kiss to his temple before settling back down with a sigh.
It’s too early to be up, really, but he’s starving and is not getting back to sleep without eating something. He grunts and sits up before pressing another kiss to Fred’s shoulder. He swings his legs out of bed and grabs a pair of grey sweatpants.
Rafa trudges down the hall to the kitchen. There were still Bugles hidden in the back of Fred’s Tupperware cabinet. Oh shit, had he eaten them all? He flicks on the light to the kitchen and huffs a quiet laugh when he finds a sticky note on the door of said cabinet in Fred’s small, precise handwriting.
Sorry, I ate the last of your chips two days ago. In my defense, counselor, you left them in my house and I was having a very stressful day. I made you cookies instead, they’re on top of the microwave. I figured you’d be up before the both of us this morning since you didn’t get your snack. --An Apologetic Psychiatrist who feels like he shouldn’t be apologizing for eating food in his own cupboards.
Rafa runs his fingers over the note a few times, smiling like an idiot, his heart feeling full and warm and about seven sizes larger than it was when he woke up. He turns his head and sees a plastic container (with a green lid because the green Tupperware was for storage of baked goods as Fred was constantly reminding him) right where Fred said it would be, and when he steps over to investigate it further he finds a batch of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Another note is stuck to the lid.
I know these aren’t your favorite. I know that you don’t really enjoy white chocolate. Consider this my attempt to make sure you don’t eat all of these in one sitting. Please limit yourself to two; you aren’t in your 20’s anymore, Rafael, and it’s not even a normal time for breakfast yet, much less cookies. --A Not Apologetic Psychiatrist who doesn’t want your first heart attack to be in his apartment, thank you very much.
Rafa rolls his eyes and peels the lid off, smirking as he deliberately takes three out of the box. He doesn’t hate white chocolate, after all, and he does love macadamia nuts. And he has always had a problem following instructions.
Standing at the kitchen counter, Rafa eats his cookies with a pleased groan, once again thanking whatever saints or angels his mami appeals to for sending him a partner that bakes. Not that he thinks his mother would have prayed for someone at all like Fred. Fussy, officious, arrogant, snobby, and, well, a man. His mother would have had someone like their younger lover in mind however. Smart, pretty, and willing to stand up to his attitude. Most of the time anyways. Well, what did Lucia Barba always say? You can make as many requests of God as you want to but remember that He has a sense of humor too? She got him a little extra than what her original request probably specified.
Rafa snorts at the thought and brushes crumbs off his bare chest, leaning back against the counter and surveying the kitchen in the growing light. He’s still hungry but he knows he’ll hear about it if Fred wakes up and all of those cookies are gone. And today is supposed to be the one day this whole month the three of them can spend just being quiet together with no plans, no work, and no prior obligations. He’d rather not spend it all dodging Fred’s passive aggressive jabs and her pouting looks and quiet pleas to please just be the bigger man and apologize.
He stretches his arms out on the counter behind him and tips his head back, staring absently at Fred’s kitchen ceiling as he contemplates making his way back to bed and napping until Fred wakes up and decides to order in breakfast. He’s nearly settled on that plan when he catches sight out of the corner of his eye of the bright blue note on the cupboard. He doesn’t remember Fred spending any time in the kitchen before the two of them dragged Rafa into the bedroom to put his ties to a much more interesting use. He must have gotten out of bed after Rafa fell asleep to put this together, and Rafa can’t help the smile that spreads over his entire face.
Rafa slaps his palms on the counter and shoves himself off, making his way over to the fridge to see what Fred has in the way of actual food. He’s already awake; the least he can do is make breakfast.
He finds the ingredients for pancakes easily enough--Fred is a stickler for organization. Rafa tries not to make a mess as he moves around the perfectly arranged and spotless kitchen. He stirs the batter by hand rather than risk the noise of the KitchenAid but pauses over whether or not to put chocolate chips in.
She would be pleased, her sweet tooth nearly rivals his own, but Fred would almost definitely be annoyed. Especially because Rafa has already had chocolate earlier in the morning. With a fond sigh, Rafa puts the glass jar back in the cupboard, though not before tipping a few of the chocolate chips out into his hand.
It reminds him of cooking in Fred’s beautiful house in Baltimore, his sweet girl laughing and dancing around the kitchen in one of Fred’s shirts, barely being any help at all. All three of them adore the big, beautiful house that Fred had shyly shown them--as if they could have done anything else other than fall in love with it.
Fred relaxed slightly when it became clear that his guests found the house as beautiful as he did. Rafa tried to help her in slowing Fred down as he showed it to them, asking questions about particular objects or features and pointing out the things they especially admired. Every sincere compliment kept a gratified little smile plastered on Fred’s face--and there was plenty to compliment him on.
It’s clear that it holds a special place in Fred’s heart. It’s so him, every inch of it reflecting back the man who poured so much time and effort and money into making it a home. From the collection of antique medical texts carefully displayed on the shelves to the exact shade of teal velvet upholstery on some of the armchairs, Fred had lavished attention on the house to surround himself with things he loved and found beautiful. It amused Rafa to wonder if he’d taken that into account when he’d invited his partners over; whether they’d laud the elegant aesthetic he’d established in his home.
Shifting the spoon briefly to give his right hand a break from mixing, he smiles at the memory. He’s never actually admitted to Fred how much he likes playing house with his two partners there. Rafa is fairly certain that the kitchen in the Baltimore house is larger than the apartment that he grew up in and he knows that a wine cellar is an absurd luxury. But it’s a place where the three of them are free to be themselves, without worrying about nosy neighbors and doormen.
Rafa snorts quietly, folding the batter briskly to get out all the little flour bubbles. That pretty well explains how he feels about Fred too. Fred is too high maintenance, too abrasive in all the ways Rafa normally hates, too… prep school, but Rafa can’t help but smile indulgently every time he turns his nose up at a meal that costs less than fifty dollars, or every time he gets that prissy stubborn look on his face, or juts his chin out and point blank refuses to admit that he’s wrong (even though Rafa can tell that he knows that he is).
He never apologizes either. Ever. He’ll be proven wrong, he’ll hurt both their feelings, and the closest to any sort of acknowledgment of wrongdoing that the both of them will get will be a cup of coffee in bed the next morning, one of Fred’s most handsome smiles, and the complete and sudden cessation of all hostilities like the fight never happened. Rafa knows that with anyone else that kind of behavior would be a relationship killer.
Rafa looks over the batter and nods to himself, satisfied with the consistency, and balances the spoon against the side of the bowl. He stares at the oven and frowns. Just pancakes hardly make breakfast. Going over to the fridge, he grabs bacon out of its particular place, rolling his eyes as he does so, and tosses it on the counter next to the pancake batter, reaching under the silverware drawer for a frying pan.
Maybe it’s the way Fred ‘apologizes’ with the perfect cup of coffee instead of actual words. Maybe it’s that same perfect cup of coffee that somehow manages to find its way onto his desk at work when he’s too swamped to go out and get one--just because Fred knows he needs it. Or a sandwich from his favorite deli and a quick flash of that handsome smile on Fred’s lunch break.
Rafa gets started on actually cooking said breakfast, hissing and swearing quietly when he gets a first-hand demonstration of why you shouldn’t fry things without a shirt on. Fred would have more than a few words to say to him about the relative intelligence of what he’s doing right now. He grins. Maybe that’s it--the way he cares while trying desperately to make it seem like every time it’s an inconvenience of the highest order.
Maybe Rafa loves Fred because every once in a while, when he’s very drunk, very tired, or the perfect combination of both, Fred slips a little and calls the both of them by those cute, ridiculous southern pet names that before now Rafa would have put money on being more myth than fact. And how embarrassed he is when it is pointed out to him that he just called a forty-something year old man ‘pickle’.
Fred is arrogant, prickly, particular, and both overindulgent and overly judgmental of vices depending on if he himself shares in them. He is a pain to get along with most of the time and sometimes treats the two of them like they’re made of spun gold--things to be cherished and well looked after and shown off to the best of his ability. He’s a contradictory monster and Rafa loves him.
He has a feeling that the smile on his face is sappy and ridiculous, but as he turns the bacon and settles to wait a few more minutes, he shrugs. There isn’t anyone else around this early to see him; his reputation as a son of a bitch and a jackass won’t be ruined. He loves Fred. He loves her. He loves both of them--sometimes so much it’s hard for him to keep it to himself and wait for them to come to the same conclusion. Their individual faults, foibles, and perfections and the way they mesh with each other and fit so surprisingly well in his own life.
Like getting new book recommendations from her--whenever he has the time to actually read something for fun. She leaves them on his home desk with a brief explanation why she thinks he’ll like them. That almost always makes up for the numerous occasions he has gone looking for one of his own books and found it had mysteriously jumped off its shelf and walked itself three rooms over, or managed to find itself completely out of order.
He drains the bacon onto a paper towel covered plate and gives the pan a quick rinse. He loves finding packets of M&M’s in his briefcase or in his suit coat pockets, loves knowing they’re from her and that she braved Fred’s ire to indulge his habit of constant snacking. A habit Fred particularly despises. He loves--most of the time--being a couple minutes late to work some mornings because she got into a nearly incoherent argument with him about what color tie he should wear. He loves that she loves his wardrobe as much as he does.
Rafa loves ganging up with her to tease Fred and loves that she can take some teasing herself. He loves that she just rolls her eyes and plays along when his puckish side emerges and he can’t help but be an asshole even though he can tell she would rather he didn’t.
Rafa starts pouring pancake batter, chuckling to himself when he recalls the mood she’d gotten into the last time his sense of humor had gotten the better of him. While waiting for a table in a restaurant, a strange woman had made a snide comment about ‘men dating women young enough to be their daughters’ and Rafa had been unable to resist feigning outrage and asking what was so terrible about a man taking his daughter out for a nice birthday dinner.
The woman had been mortified, and Rafa had enjoyed the look on her face so much that he’d only hammered the point home further, telling her it was hardly his fault he was a widower and a single parent. He hoped it had taught her a valuable lesson in boundaries. His sweet girl had been so embarrassed but it had been so worth it.
Flipping the first pancake, he thinks about the flaws that come with her youth. She’s always the first one to joke about having daddy issues and Rafa can hardly deny how much he enjoys hearing her call him papi--and Fred daddy--in bed. He just has to try not to think too deeply about it. Not that Rafa really has a leg to stand on where difficult paternal relationships are concerned. But her jokes mask an insecurity and a clinginess that Fred has a habit of overindulging. More than once when he’s been trying to work she’s tried to distract him or cuddle up to him and then gotten sulky when he had to gently but firmly rebuff her.
When he finally finishes work on those evenings, he usually finds her wrapped around Fred instead, giving him a wounded look when he finally emerges from behind his case files. Those looks are wordless guilt trips every time he’s on the receiving end of one--no matter how right he feels in his decision to work instead of play.
And yet somehow she’s worked the same magic on him that Fred has. A flaw that in anyone else would have stopped any idea of a relationship in its tracks is something that he’s come to love about her. Her clinginess comes from a place of emotional fragility and it must be hard to let her partners see that. The fact that she trusts them enough to be so vulnerable around them makes Rafa’s heart swell. He can’t help but love her, even when he’s dealing with her pouting and huffing.
Fred talks about it like Rafa is somehow being ungrateful, that he should drop everything to spend time with his beautiful, smart, young lover, and it drives Rafa crazy. He knows that Fred generally means well when he tries to appeal against his more workaholic tendencies, but he also knows that Fred could retire now and live off his trust fund if he wanted. It rubs him the wrong way when Fred tries to discourage him from working hard because he’s never needed to understand why Rafa works as hard as he does.
He starts stacking the cooked pancakes on a plate on the stove and furrows his brow in concentration. Fred gleefully indulges her in her clinginess, dropping everything to scoop her into his arms or take her to bed. They’ve even taken to napping together with his cock still tucked inside her, as if they can’t bear to be anything other than as close as physically possible. He’s stubbornly blind to the fact that Rafa can’t just drop what he’s doing. If Fred misses a deadline for submitting a journal article the worst that happens is it gets pushed back an issue. If Rafa misses something in his case files or submits something late or fails to prepare as fully as he should, it can ruin lives. Dangerous predators can be let out on the street to offend again. People don’t get the justice they deserve. And even in this day and age, a poor boy with a Spanish name is granted a lot less leeway with employers than a rich boy with a nice American name and family money.
They come from very different worlds, even if Rafa has carefully and thoroughly infiltrated Fred’s, and Rafa loves and hates it a little that Fred forgets that most of the time. Rafa has to always be ‘on’ and can’t afford the same kind of laxness that Fred can.
Sometimes he even has to be ‘on’ at home when he’d rather put his fist through a wall or wrap himself in every blanket in the apartment with a bottle of scotch and pass out. Like when he walks into whichever apartment they’re spending the night at to find Fred in a screaming match with her that he has to moderate. She likes to complain that he and Fred can really get into it like a pair of children, and he isn’t saying she’s wrong—they definitely can—but she and Fred are just as bad. Frankly, the three of them are cut from the same cloth when it comes to being pig headed and it makes for some rather loud and spirited fights.
Like the frequent battles she has with Fred over her occasional smoking habit. They always start out with Fred gently chiding and somehow end up with Fred snidely pulling out his “I went to medical school, therefore everyone else is a moron” voice and her reminding him that he couldn’t cut it as a real doctor and she’ll “smoke a goddamn fucking cigarette every once in a while if she fucking feels like it.” Rafa tries to interfere before it descends to “as much as you like to act like it sometimes, Frederick, you aren’t my father” and “maybe if you knew how to make better choices you wouldn’t be constantly seeking validation from older men,” but he doesn’t always get home in time and instead walks in to the both of them glaring icily at each other or shouting as many deliberately hurtful things as they can.
He likes to leave his courtroom face at work, but it’s generally the only thing that will defuse those battles, or at least calm them down into cold wars. Rafa doesn’t particularly enjoy playing mediator on the best of days, especially not when one wrong word from him will have one or both of them turning on him as another enemy combatant. He likes his occasional cigarette too, and he snacks constantly, and eats terribly; all things that Fred will use to drag him into a fight.
But while he hates trying to calm them down enough to at least stop yelling, he has to admit he loves having people around to yell in the first place. Yes, these fights mean he has to put on his lawyer face when he’d rather get drunk and pass out. But he has people in his life to break up fights between. He can come “home” to people who care about him. People who, when they aren’t screaming, see him come through the door and smile. People who would, and have on occasion, drop what they are doing to bring him something he left at home and needs now. People who drop a sandwich on his desk when he’s working and quietly--most of the time-- leave him to it.
People who care and appreciate him.
Rafa finishes setting plates and cutlery out on the island and starts the coffee maker. He loves having them a few rooms away. He loves knowing that they like him enough to put up with his “shoebox sized apartment”, with him being an incurable workaholic, with the fact that when he gets stressed or angry he lashes out at anyone around him. With the fact that when he does he can be more than a little cruel.
Rafa makes his way back into Fred’s bedroom, wincing as always at how bright it gets when the morning sun fully hits it. He smiles when he sees them still tucked against each other just like he had left them. He loves this view the most.
Rafa grins mischievously. They put up with his innate tendency to be a complete and utter jackass, and that is one more thing he loves about them.
“I just rearranged every single cupboard, bookshelf, and drawer in your entire apartment, Frederick!” Rafa informs the room in general. Loudly.
Fred’s eyes snap open and he sits up, dislodging his sleeping companion without a second glance. His gaze lands on Rafa, who is smirking next to him, and his eyes go comically wide in horror.
“Rafael Barba, you didn’t.”
Tag List: @sassyada, @dreamlover31, @prurientpuddlejumper, @storiesofsvu
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Text
Better Than They Know
Fandom: 9-1-1
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader
Warning/s: none
Word Count: 1,827
Request:  Hello! I Hope you're doing good! I don't know if you ccurrently do requests or not or if this is where to ask for them but I have one in case you do take them. Evan Buckley x reader where his parents come to town and they are really passive agressive towards him, complaining about his work and that he's "not as nice of a boy as he used to be" but he doesn't tell them to stop. Eventually they remark on his birthmark, hitting an old insecurity and reader comforts him? Thank you for your time! <33
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You’d never met Buck’s parents, and he barely spoke about them, so when you got a call at work from your boyfriend telling you his family would be joining you both for dinner that night you’d spent the rest of the day fretting about what to wear, what to say, how to act...
Maddie and Chimney would be there too, but Buck had told you he wouldn’t survive the dinner without you, whatever that meant. You knew things weren’t great between the Buckley’s and their parents, but they’d both always been so vague on the details. Maybe you should have pushed, but you didn’t think you’d meet them this soon.
“They can’t be that bad, you and Maddie turned out great,” you tried, phone between your ear and your shoulder as you fastened the burgundy blouse you’d opted to wear. 
“Just wait until you meet them,” Buck said in a low voice, calling to check what time you’d be arriving. You could hear conversation in the background, definitely Maddie and two other voices you didn’t recognise, presumably the parents. 
“Is this really how you chose to decorate your living room?” You heard a female voice call out to Buck, hearing him sigh a little on the other end of the line, clearly wearing thin. 
“Okay, okay, I’ll come save you as soon as I can,” you promised, tucking your shirt in and searching for your earrings, curious to see just what Mr and Mrs Buckley were actually like.
“Thank you, thank you,” he repeated gratefully, getting called again by his parents as he hurried up his good byes, “I love you, see you soon.”
“I love you too, bye,” he hung up, leaving you to pick up the pace a little. He sounded stressed, and on edge, two things Buck rarely was. You wished he’d told you more about them, but you guessed you’d just have to find out when you arrived. 
Double checking you had everything and giving yourself one last look over in the full length mirror by your door, you headed out.
Buck had text you to just come right on in, so you made your way into his apartment and headed straight for the dining area, following the sounds of strained conversation with anticipation. Chimney seemed to be trying to carry a conversation, but it was clear from where you were standing that there was tension between the four Buckley’s.
Maddie gave you a pained look when she noticed you, still offering you a welcoming and almost pitying smile as the sound of your footsteps alerted the others to your presence.
Buck lit up, standing from his seat to kiss you. “Hey, glad you could make it,” he said, taking the wine you’d brought off of your hands so you could sit down.
“You must be Y/N,” the woman who was clearly Buck’s mother smiled, standing to hug you in greeting. It took you by surprise, but she seemed friendly enough. “I’m Donna, this is my husband Steve,” she told you, Steve standing up to shake your hand as you all settled down at the table.
“It’s nice to meet you both,” you told them, glancing between Buck and Maddie, then at a relieved looking Chimney. You’d come because Buck had wanted saving, but you actually thought he looked the most uncomfortable out of everyone here, which was saying something. 
“It’s lovely to finally meet you too, even though we haven’t heard very much about you,” Donna said with a pointed look at Buck, “I was hoping we’d get a chance to meet sooner, but it seems like we have to put in all the effort if we want to see our kids.”
“You know how busy we’ve been with work,” Buck explained, which was valid given that his parents lived out of state and both siblings worked five out of seven days a week. 
“You always are,” Steve retorted in a tone you couldn’t quite read, but from the way Maddie took a large gulp of her wine, you felt that this was an old issue in the Buckley family, and one that had probably already been brought up today.
The food looked lovely, so you settled in and took a bite as a bit of an awkward silence fell over the table, Chimney shooting you a sympathetic and knowing look that had you dreading what was to come.
“So Y/N,” Steve began, ignoring the looks of dread from both his children as he continued, “do you put on a costume and run into fires for minimum wage or do you have a proper job?” 
Oh crap. You slowly swallowed the food in your mouth, looking at him in a little bit of shock.
“Dad-” Maddie tried despairingly but he waved her off with a dismissive hand, still looking at you as he awaited your response. It suddenly felt like you’d turned up to an interview unprepared.
“Oh er, I’m a lawyer,” you replied finally, sticking more food in your mouth in the hopes of not having to say anything else on the matter. No wonder Chimney had looked so happy to see you - had he been subject to same third degree? From the way Steve had just spoke about firefighters, you figured you had your answer.
“Oh, see that’s what we wanted Evan to do, but...” Donna looked at Buck like some kind of child who’d just disappointed her, “it wasn’t his strong suit.”
You bit your tongue, your stubborn protectiveness rising up. These were Buck’s parents, there were certain rules of etiquette right? You couldn’t put them in their place? 
“I love my job,” Buck spoke up for the first time, “I’m good at my job, I help people-”
“Of course, we’re only saying we wanted more for you,” Donna clarified like that made what she said any better, or did she not even see anything wrong with it?
“What more could you want? That was your dream for me, not mine,” Buck replied defensively, the fake polite smile on Donna’s face vanishing. Steve put his cutlery down then, not happy with the tone Buck had just taken with his mother.
“Evan, really, what happened to that nice and polite boy we raised?” He scolded, voice stern. Buck clamped his mouth shut again quicker than you’d ever seen.
“Mr and Mrs Buckley-” you tried to interject, but Buck shook his head at you, resigning himself to accepting the criticism and insult once again.
You and Chimney shared a confused and helpless look, unsure of what to say or do in this situation but both wanting desperately to say or do something. 
The meal continued awkwardly, with snippets of small talk mixed in with the sound of cutlery and eating, and you naively began to think that the worst of it had passed. Donna had just asked what kind of law you specialised in, but by the time you’d finished explaining, it became clear that Mrs Buckley wasn’t done saying her piece from earlier.
“I’m glad Buck’s found someone mature and grown up, surprised, but glad,” she told you cheerfully, their complete lack of awareness at how terribly they talked to their children startling you once again.
“How so?” You asked, voice tight, your protectiveness beginning to boil over. Chimney saw the way you tensed, knowing you well enough to know that things were about to take a turn as he cleared he deliberately cleared his throat, warning you.
“Mom-” Buck tried with no small amount of desperation as Donna took a breath to reply to you, somehow unaware of your tone or expression.
“No no, you know what I mean, good job, good looking, Evan’s lucky he isn’t insecure about dating someone who earns more than him,” she and Steve laughed, but your jaw was clenched so tightly you thought your teeth were going to shatter, “oh don’t get me wrong, he is handsome, but we always said, he’d look much better if he fixed that mark on his face.”
You saw white as she tried to gently touch his face to make her point, looking a little insulted when Buck ducked away from her hand. She was about to make yet another comment when your knife and fork clanged down onto the plate with deliberate force, making her jump and stopping the conversation. Buck took that moment to get up, shoving his chair back and leaving the table.
“Buck!” Maddie called her brother, looking at her parents with disappointment. Donna shot back a questioning look, like she didn’t know what she’d said or done. 
“Evan we’re in the middle of dinner-” Steve seemed like he was about to lecture his son on his table manners, but you stopped listening, making a show of throwing your napkin down onto the table and glaring at both his parents before storming off after Buck without another word.
You found him in the bathroom, leaning with his hands on either side of the sink, head hung low and eyes closed. Without a word you went up behind him and wrapped your arms around his back, hugging him as you felt him release a breath, grateful as one of his arms moved to yours.
“I love you,” you told him, tightening your grip to emphasise the point, “they shouldn’t speak to you like that, they don’t have any right to.”
“They always have,” Buck sighed. You hated this, absolutely hated it, and you had just the mind to march back in there and tell Mr and Mrs Buckley just how much you hated it.
“That doesn’t mean they should,” you said with force, trying to convince him that he deserved more as you pulled the hand that was holding yours, getting him to turn around to face you. “Evan Buckley, you’re smart, you’re kind, you’re charming, and you’re ten times the man they could ever imagine, try not to forget that.”
“I not-” he began but you shook your head, not letting him get in a word of self-doubt and insecurity.
“Yes, you are, and even if I have to repeat it over and over, I’m going to keep saying it until you believe it too, okay?” You weren’t actually asking, and he knew that as he met your eyes, reluctantly nodding with a small smile of appreciation.
You sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “I wish you could see yourself how I do, how the rest of us do, you’re far too good for them and better than they’ll ever know. I love you.”
“I- I love you too,” he got out, a little choked up by your sentiment as he cleared his throat and blinked a few times. “We er, we should probably get back in there and save Maddie and Chim, huh?”
You laughed, “I’ll try not to stab your parents with my knife, but I can’t say it’s a promise.”
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nationalharryleague · 4 years
Text
The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing
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Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader
Genre: TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF
Word count: 2.5K
A/N: Hi everyone! This is 2.5k of absolute tooth rotting fluff that was inspired by the Golden music video and the ultra talented @theharriediaries​!! Thank you to Soph and Lu (@meetmymouth​) for beta reading and giving me some direction when I needed it!! You can find more of my writing in my masterlist and I would LOVE if you could give me some feedback!! My requests are also open in my ask!! 
***
“The Italians drink a lot over dinner,” Harry told you in an informative tone, an attempt to order yet another very expensive bottle of red. “Wine is very important in Italian culture,” he tipsily explained across the table, dimples prominent from his cheeky smile. “I learned that in my Italian classes.”
“Oh, did you?” you teased back at him, feeling a bit floaty as you finished your third glass, only for Harry to fill it right back up, emptying the bottle on the table. You laughed and shook your head as you watched him make eye contact with the waiter, motioning for him to bring another bottle over.
“Vino, vino, vino,” he hummed under his breath, playing with the empty glass in front of him that was soon filled up again with the deep red liquid that had stained his pouty lips a deep red and his tongue purple. The two of you sat in the front patio of a small restaurant down the block from your hotel, under a giant and bright moon that made his eyes sparkle even more than usual.
He had a boyish flush to his cheeks, which could have been from the wine or the remnants of a scaldingly hot day in Italy; maybe both. You could still feel the summer heat radiating back up from the pavement below you after it had baked in the sun all day. The oppressive heat still hung in the air, just enough for a light sheen of sweat to be covering you both that seemed to make Harry glow on the dimly lit patio.
You two had found yourself in Italy while Harry had some time off because he insisted he needed to go and practice his Italian. “Devo andare per la mia istruzione,” he told you one day after he got home from his class. “I have to go for my education,” he translated a moment later after being met with a blank look from you. He practiced all day every day.  He struck up conversations with locals, spoke with every fan who came to say hi, and attempted to translate menus and order every meal. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t, but he was trying nonetheless.
Harry in Italy was a special version of himself. He was smiley and carefree and always trying to fatten you up or get you drunk. When he was here, he seemed to wholeheartedly become the H you always knew, abandoning the rockstar and becoming the mushy and emotional man that told you he loved you in every sentence and needed to be touching you at all times. His hair had lightened a tiny bit from your days outdoors,  his skin had grown tan and taken on a golden tone, a side effect of him constantly ignoring when you told him to put on sunscreen.
You drank and ate and talked until the restaurant was closing down around you, a common occurrence when you two had the opportunity to slow down and just be together for a while, trying to forget that there was anything else going on in the world outside this tiny town. If he hadn’t captivated the wait staff with his broken Italian and charming smile earlier in the night, you were sure you would have been met with eyerolls from those cleaning up around you. Eventually, you two walked hand in hand out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk along the windy road, both of you full and drunk, and beginning the short walk back to your hotel.
He was smiling so wide his dimpled cheeks must have been hurting, a bright smile encouraged by the alcohol running through his system. His hair flopped over his forehead, curlier than usual because of the sea air and his lips were an even deeper purple than before. His beautiful mouth babbled, every thought in his head flowing past his lips in a slightly slurred mix of italian and english; a verbal expression of excitement and clumsiness.
You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight beside you, your fingers lazily interlocked with his, tugging him back when he moved too close to the street, hoping his wobbly legs wouldn’t trip on the uneven cobblestone sidewalk. You primarily didn’t want him to tear or stain his favorite light blue blazer if he took a tumble. He once told you it was his favorite because he thought the color looked like the sky on the day you had met. You remember blushing and pushing him away from you, telling him he was cheesy with a playful eye roll. “It’s my job to be cheesy!” he had defended himself. “Also, I’m not being cheesy, I’m a man in love.”
You were brought back into reality when he stopped in his tracks and pulled you into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around your torso. “We should dance,” he beamed, eyes wide like it was the greatest idea he had ever thought of.
“There’s no music, H,” you regrettably informed him while pushing his curls away from his forehead. You couldn’t help but lean in and press a light kiss to his cheek. His skin was warm and slightly sweaty on your lips, a salty taste invading your mouth.
“We don’t need music. All the music is up here,” he winked while tapping his temple. “We're listening to classical.”
“Oh I see, music man,” you joked, unable to contain your giggles.
“Shh,” he attempted to quell your laughter, bringing his pointer finger to your lips. “Can’t hear the music.” A sarcastic seriousness played across his face, prompting another grin to sneak onto your lips. You pressed a kiss to his finger, before giving into his demand and falling quiet.
You could never fight the spell he put you under. You lived in a cloud of Harry, an intoxicating daze that made you unable to focus on the bad of the world when he was around. He had seemed to melt down the walls you had built before you had met, a fact that made him endearingly call you his ‘Ice Queen’ every once in a while. The charm and wit he carried with him wiped away your practicality, always knowing how to convince you to play along with his antics and throw your precious caution to the wind. He was your rose colored glasses. He made your heart jump all day long and unexpected bursts of joy were felt in your chest whenever he smiled, laughed, or said your name. You were enamored by him, an all consuming love you couldn’t escape from.
“What are you thinking about, pet?” he asked softly, breaking through your loving haze. “You have your thinking face on.” A light smile continued to play on his lips but it was softer now, taking on a gentle questioning quality.
“Just thinking about how much I love you,” you confessed.
His eyebrows perked up and so did the corners of his mouth into a delightful smirk. “I mean, who doesn’t?” His smart ass comment earned himself a playful slap to his chest, but your attempt to wiggle out of his arms was thwarted when he pulled you even tighter to him. “That’s no way to treat your dance partner, my love.”
“I want a different dance partner,” you taunted, sticking the tip of your tongue out at him.
One of his hands fell from your shoulders to the small of your waist, the other found one of yours and he began to sway with care side to side. “Too bad, we’re already dancing,” he spoke softly into your ear. You two moved in an easy rhythm to a song only Harry could hear, a more caring and tender tone taking over for your previously playful one.
His cheek pressed to your temple and your bodies pressed loosely to each other. If you tried hard enough, you could hear the man’s soft hum of a melody you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Your feet fell carefully, wary of the uneven pavement in your heels, but you reminded yourself even if you were to fall, the arm looped around your waist would be sure to catch you. Small kisses peppered your forehead and you were released from his grasp for only a second for him to twirl you around, the skirt of your dress splaying out around you before being enveloped in him once again.
“I love you, angel,” he murmured softly when you found yourself resting back against his chest. He had abandoned his joking tone, shifting to a gentler and more serious cadence, pouring his soul into every word that left his lips as they brushed against your forehead. “I am so happy that I get to spend my life with you.”
“I love you so much. This is a happier life than I could have ever imagined for myself,” you spoke after a thoughtful pause. You were still swaying calmly, seeming to move in time with the cool breeze settling over the two of you, but Harry’s humming had been abandoned for a reflective silence.
“What kind of house do you want us to live in one day?” he asked abruptly, choosing to move in a seemingly unrelated direction.
“It has to be big; with enough rooms to fill with lots of cats and dogs, and when the time comes, maybe a baby. And I want a big porch to sit on together and watch the world go by on.” You felt him nod thoughtfully and with a hum of agreement.
“Do you want it to be the only house we ever live in? Or do you want to try out different places to find your favorite?”
“I think I want it to be our one house. I want us to be the crazy old people who have lived in the old rickety house at the end of the block forever; the ones who always have stories to tell and grandchildren constantly coming and going.”
“Can we be the ones who brag about never having a fight?”
“Do you mean the ones who lie?” you asked with a chuckle, looking up to face him. He broke out into a high pitched giggle, your favorite laugh of his. It warmed you to your core knowing that you were the only one who could make him laugh like that.
“Exactly,” he nodded in confirmation, still chuckling to himself.
“We can lie and say we’ve never had a fight as long as we never stop getting wine drunk and slow dancing to no music on random streets while on vacation,” you quipped.
“Sounds like a plan, my love.”
“I know we’ve talked about doing it, but when do you want to get married? I don’t want to inconvenience either of our careers with wedding planning or anything like that. I don’t really care as long as we get to spend our lives together.” The words fell freely from your mouth, the wine still running through your veins blocking the inhibition that probably should have kept the words inside your head.
“Getting married to you wouldn’t be an inconvenience, darling.”
“I know. Wrong words,” you chuckled. “Well, I guess I should have asked when you want to get engaged,” you corrected yourself. “I suppose we have to do that first.”
“Why not now?” he asked, with a mischievous twang in his voice. You felt one of his arms slip from around you and start rummaging in his jacket pocket.
“What?”
“I said,” he began again, “why not now?” His hand emerged from his pocket, presenting you with a tiny red velvet ring box.  
Your mind went blank. Your usually rapid and incessant thoughts seemed to stop altogether in a mix of shock and awe. You knew this day, or night, would come eventually. You two had discussed a future together extensively and had agreed you didn’t want to spend your lives with anyone else, but you had never imagined the moment he asked you to be his forever. You had never imagined this moment.
His eyebrows slicked up, lips curled in a devilish smile, and he sank down onto one knee before you. Your hands flew up to your face and the wetness on your fingertips alerted you to the tears that had begun to fall down your cheeks, your heartbeat pounding loud in your ears.
“My dear,” Harry began as he settled onto the sidewalk, balancing carefully on the cobblestone ground. “I have been in love with you since the very first day I met you and that adorable little snort slipped out when you laughed at one of my bad jokes. You have been the first thought I have in the morning and the last thought I have before I fall asleep for longer than you know. You are kind and smart and funny and you light up every room you walk into. I do not want to spend another second of my life without knowing you’ll be by my side for the rest of it. Will you marry me?”
He looked up at you with hopeful eyes and you looked down at him through tearful ones. You began a furious nod, before choking out the only word he wanted to hear. “Yes,” you sobbed, holding out a shaky hand for him to slide the ring onto.
The ring was beautiful; dazzling under the light of the full moon and the dim street lights above you. It slid onto your ring finger with ease, sitting snugly like the ring was made just  for you. It was simple, which Harry knew was your style and it held one (large) diamond in a simple silver setting, no bells or whistles needed.
Harry grabbed you by the waist as soon as the ring was secure and picked you up in his arms and spun, twirling you around like the two of you had just slipped out of a rom-com. Delighted giggles fell from both of your lips before he finally stopped, your laughter pausing when your lips found his.
It was a salty kiss, due to the sheen of sweat still sitting on Harry’s skin and the tears that were still streaming down your own, but it just felt so right. He was warm and smiling, lips still tasting of the pinot noir you had shared. Your lips moved together in a perfect harmony like they were meant for each other.
“Thank god you said yes,” Harry breathed when you finally separated. “I’ve been carrying that ring with me everywhere we go for two months now.”
With a playful eye roll, you pulled the curly man to you and connected your lips once again, unable to get enough of him. His intoxicating cologne filled your nostrils and you had never felt more safe or happy. The love you shared felt like when the sun warms your skin under a golden hour sunset; bright yet soft, spectacular yet easy. And you were ready for it to never end.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS ARE SUPER APPRECIATED!! 
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Fractured Hearts & Floral Lungs - Part One
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Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook
Genre: hanahaki, angst, established relationship
Rating: 18+
Word Count: 2400
Warnings: blood, choking, coughing, vomiting, hanahaki disease, relationship issues, fighting, mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, mentions of hospitals
A/N: this is my first fic in a while and i’m happy to finally be able to share something again. i’m determined to finish this series by the end of may and finish my soulmate series this summer. 
thank you to @shadowsremedy​ for this banner and to @thesoftsoobin for beta reading for me.
this was meant to be a gift for @dee-ehn, well it still is a gift, but it should’ve been posted a long time ago. i’m happy to finally be able to present you with this gift, i hope you enjoy part one of Fractured Hearts & Floral Lungs!
~~~~~~~
[Thursday Night]
Tonight isn’t the first night that you’ve shown up at Jin’s door sobbing. At this rate, it probably won’t be the last. He still hasn’t read your texts about needing a place to stay, so he’s probably asleep. 
You knock loudly a few times, careful not to disturb the floral wreath hanging on the center of the door. And after a few moments you can hear some footsteps inside the apartment. There’s some more silence and then you can hear hushed whispers. 
The door creaks open and Jin’s boyfriend Namjoon is standing before you. 
“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Namjoon sighs sleepily. 
“You scared us! I even got my old tennis racquet out of the closet!” Jin complains before he pokes his head around Namjoon’s broad shoulders. The tear stains and redness of your face instantly catch his attention. “Oh no, what happened?” 
For a moment, you can’t say anything. Your chest fills with emotions. Pain, frustration, sadness, heartbreak. The words can’t get past your trembling lips, and soon you feel Jin’s arms envelop you, his sweater absorbing your burning tears. 
Somehow, through all your blubbering, Jin has been able to understand what happened with Yoongi. He’s rubbing soothing circles on your back, guiding you to the couch that will be your bed for the next few nights. Namjoon has brought over a pillow, blanket, and a glass of water for you. 
“Why don’t you lay down and try to sleep now? This isn’t going to be resolved tonight, unfortunately,” Namjoon interrupts Jin’s comforting whispers. 
“He’s right, Y/N, I can tell you’re exhausted. Try to get some rest.” Jin helps you get settled in bed before following Namjoon into their bedroom. 
Jin was right. You are completely exhausted, emotionally drained. But every time you attempt to close your eyes, all you can see is him, the flowers, and the blood.
~~~~~~~
[Thursday Evening]
Something is off. He’s been coming home late everyday for the past few weeks. You hoped that today, of all days, he would make an effort. But here you are, alone, surrounded by a table full of his favorite foods. From the moment you got home from work, you’d been on your feet cooking. As if your job waiting tables wasn’t strenuous enough. 
Lately it feels like you’re the only one making an effort in this relationship. He leaves for work before you wake up, returns after you’ve gotten into bed for the night. He doesn’t even take the lunches you pack for him to work anymore. You never would have suspected Yoongi of cheating on you, but his behavior is making you question everything you thought you knew. 
Today will be the final straw, you told yourself. If he didn’t make it home in time for dinner on your three year anniversary, it would be time to confront him. But as six turns into seven and seven into eight, you decide to pack the meal into tupperware. 
You expected tears to come, but they didn’t. Your cheeks are bone dry while you pile the rice into a slightly warped plastic container. You’re in disbelief, or perhaps you just expected this all along. The containers of untouched anniversary dinner stack neatly in the refrigerator. 
The sound of keys jingling against the door signals his arrival before he opens the door. You lean yourself against the kitchen counter, grounding yourself. 
“Hey babe, happy anniversary!” Yoongi’s smile shines, like it always does, but his eyes aren’t as bright. He’s carrying a bouquet of small sunflowers. 
“Happy anniversary.” A faint smile crosses your face as he hands you the bouquet. He looks a little puzzled by your lack of gratitude. But then he notices the pile of dishes in the sink. 
“Oh, did you make dinner?” You nod silently as Yoongi shuffles the pots and pans around in the sink. “I made us reservations at The Table. Did you eat already?” Your eyebrows shoot up.
“No!” You try again, this time suppressing the surprise in your voice. “No, I haven’t. That sounds really good.” Maybe things aren’t as bleak as they seem; at least he didn’t completely forget.
The ride to the restaurant is nearly silent, some tacky radio advertisements playing quietly. He’s holding your hand, but you’re looking out the window, focused on everything but the uncomfortable quiet. Yoongi breaks the silence and mentions something about the project he’s working on at the studio. 
The studio, you think to yourself. Of course that’s all he can talk about. His passion has always been music. You were both thrilled when he got an entry level job at a music studio, and at the beginning things were good. But Yoongi always strives to be the best, and he moved up the ladder to Assistant Producer in less than a year.
Whatever album he’s working on now has kept him away from you for far too long.
“So when is that album releasing anyway?”
“Later this summer, but our work on it is almost done.” He says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. 
“So you’ll be back home at normal times?” 
“Well...” Yoongi glances over at you. “Jungkook wants me to work on another project with him when this one’s over.” 
“I’m glad your boss likes your work, but hasn’t he ever heard of a work-life balance?”
“Jungkook is NOT my boss. He's-” Yoongi starts.
“Well he’s not your girlfriend either!” You shout. “You’re never home anymore Yoongi.” Your hand slips from his and you cross your arms.
“This is my career.” Something catches in his throat, he coughs a little. You knew he loved his job, but you never heard him get emotional about it.
“So I just need to accept that I’ll never get to see you again?” Yoongi pulls up to the front of the restaurant, in line for valet parking. 
“Do you want to go home and keep fighting or do you want to get dinner?” He asks, still trying to clear his throat.
The restaurant is very nice: a robust wine selection, a pianist playing in one corner, and a sleek menu. The other tables are talking in quiet voices to retain the romantic ambiance of the place. You and Yoongi are doing your part by not speaking at all. 
He’s making it tough though; he keeps coughing. You hope he’s not getting sick.
“Are you okay?” You ask, passing him a tissue from your purse, trying your best not to sound angry.
“Yeah I’ve just got something stuck in my throat, excuse me.” Yoongi snatches the tissue from your hand before walking toward the restroom. 
When he returns, he looks a little worse for the wear. His skin looks paler, his hair mussed, and a wet spot on his shirt. 
“Are you getting sick?” You have to ask him now. “What’s that?” You point to the wet spot just below his collar. 
“I got some spit on my shirt. I do think I’m coming down with something, but I’ll be fine.” Something doesn’t seem right. He looks more than sick, almost paranoid. 
Through the rest of the night he coughs here and there, but he seems to regain his composure. His long dark locks get tucked behind his ear, and for a moment you can forget how hard things have been lately. He asks about your work friends and hobbies and seems to listen intently. The curve of his smile draws a smile out of you too. 
Between dinner and dessert, Yoongi reaches across the smooth table cloth to take your hand in his. His thumb gently strokes your fingers. 
“You know that I love you, right?” He asks, his smile faded to a straight line. You squeeze his hand. 
“You’re going to have to do a better job of showing it.”
~~~~~~~
You’re not sure if it’s the best move, but you want to show him that you haven’t given up yet. When you step out of the bathroom, wearing a revealing chemise, Yoongi is sitting on his side of the bed, facing away from you. 
“How are you feeling?” You ask, climbing onto the bed. He sighs, and you reach for his shoulders. You begin rubbing his shoulder muscles, feeling the tension in them slowly releasing. Kneading his back muscles with your fingers, you lean forward to lay kisses along his broad shoulders. 
“Baby, can we not tonight?” You freeze, not sure you heard him correctly. “I know it’s our anniversary, I just don’t feel good.” You remove your hands from his body.
“Yeah, of course. There’s some cough medicine and painkillers in the bathroom if it will help.” You reply, leaning back against the headboard, scrolling through your twitter feed so you can hide your embarrassment.
“I’m going to take a shower. You don’t have to wait up for me.” He gets up from the bed and enters the bathroom without glancing your way. You settle into the blankets and try to relax.
You can hear him coughing again once the shower turns on. You turn over in bed, his sudden cold demeanor reminding you of the trouble your relationship is really in. It’s hard to fall asleep to the sound of your boyfriend coughing violently, but you manage to drift away.
~~~~~~~
[Friday Morning]
The sound of Namjoon leaving the apartment wakes you. It must be around 7:30 or so. Jin is in the kitchen quietly making coffee, still in his pajamas. 
“Jin, are you not going to work today?” You say in a half-whisper, not wanting to startle him. 
“I called in sick. I wanted to stay with you today,” Jin explains, walking over to the couch with two mugs of coffee. He made yours just the way you like it, almond milk and a little bit of sugar. The warmth of the drink momentarily soothes your sleepy body. 
Jin reaches across the coffee table and picks up the tv remote. He turns on a morning talk show, some washed-up celebrity talking to slightly less washed-up celebrities about what projects or life events they have going on. 
“And later on in the show we will be joined by Jackson Wang, who will share his story of heartbreak and unrequited love that ultimately lead to the creation of his latest single, 100 ways.” The audience cheers for a moment before Jin switches the channel. 
“Sorry.” He sighs. 
“I don’t think that’s what the song is about...” You joke, sarcasm seeping through the pain in your chest.
Jin chuckles at your remark, but he sits uncomfortably at the end of the couch picking at his fingernails. 
“Listen I wanted to say something...” He starts. 
“Jin, do you think I could shower before we get into anything? I just need a minute to wake up and I feel kind of gross.” The mascara stains from the night before are beginning to irritate your skin, and a hot shower could do wonders for you. But truthfully, you just aren’t ready to talk about it yet.
“Sure, I’ll grab some sweats you can borrow.” Jin sighs, getting up from his seat.
 The hot water melts away the tension in your muscles, but the tension in your mind remains. It’s difficult to keep the images of Yoongi coughing up dozens and dozens of yellow and orange petals from flooding your mind. The drops of blood on the petals and the floor just showed you how far the disease had progressed. How long he’s been in love with someone else.
The floral scent of Jin’s lavender body wash is a little too reminiscent of the smell from the night before. Sickly sweet flowers with a hint of acidic bile and metallic blood. The clean water rinses the suds but the scent remains on your skin.
When you close your eyes to rinse shampoo from your hair, the scene from the night before plays out in vivid detail.
~~~~~~~
[Thursday Night]
You had been awakened by the sounds of Yoongi retching in the bathroom. You called out for him, but he didn’t answer, so you let yourself in. 
He is doubled over the toilet. A dozen or so brightly colored petals scattered around him, some smeared with watery blood. The moment you burst in, he tried to hide the extent of it, tried not to let you see but he knew it was useless. He let himself lean against the wall in defeat. 
The violent episode he was experiencing seemed to come to a halt.
“Are you...” You pause, there are too many questions to ask, but you know there is only one you can ask in the moment. “Are you okay?” He closes his eyes and nods slowly. You take a moment to examine his face. It’s red, and there are tear streaks clear down his chin. There’s drops of blood and sweat on his bare chest. His heavy breathing is slowing back to normal. 
And then you have to leave. You can’t stay and look at him and his flower petals any longer. It looks like he’ll be okay for the night, so you grab your purse and phone and walk straight through the door.
~~~~~~~
[Friday Morning]
Bumps rise across your skin as you exit the shower and step onto the cold floor tiles. You wrap a towel around your body and sit on the edge of the bathtub. Your phone, face down on the counter, buzzes again, and you decide to face the messages you ignored last night. 
You scroll through the usual email and social media notifications to get to the dozens of texts and missed calls from Yoongi, still unsure if you should even hear him out. How can he still be in love with you when he’s been growing flowers for someone else?
A phone call interrupts your thinking. The number has a local area code. A sudden feeling of nausea tells you that something is wrong. 
“Hello?” Your voice echos against the tiled walls.
“Hello we are trying to reach Ms. Y/L/N Y/N.”
“This is her.”
“You are listed as an emergency contact for Mr. Min Yoongi. He has been admitted to the ICU at Grace Regional Medical Center, how quickly can you get here?”
~~~~~~~
A/N: thank you so much for reading. check out my master list here, and check back in for part two. it will be posted by the end of april 2021!
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voiceswithoutlips · 3 years
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Fallen - Chapter One
— pairing: OT7 x Reader (F) — genre: Fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Soulmate AU, Fluff, Eventual Smut, ANGST , Poly!BTS — word count: 2.8k — Rating: M — warnings: minor character death, slight gore — beta: Thank you so much @taegularities​ and @unoriginal-username15432​ for all you feedback <3
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— chapter summary:  
The people you killed, they haunted your dreams. They would say to you, “What you do always comes back to you, there is no escape from this miserable life.” It was true, there was no escape. In your world there was only darkness, sorrow, fear, hate and death, always death.
— A/N: It is I, your idiotic author. Welcome to my blog <3
Ch. 2
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The sound of rain was like a roaring beast. It was almost midnight and the roads were lonely. You stood there in an alley facing a madman, uh, mad-vampire. His eyes were glowing red; he was wearing a dirty grey cloak on his rag like cloth. His brown hair had gotten messy when he’d run away from you but there he was, still as a dead body, waiting for you to attack. There were thick walls on both sides of the alley and behind him was a dead end. He was trapped.
“Lockham, why don’t you come back with me? That way I won’t have to kill you,” you suggested to the psycho killer vampire who stood a mere ten feet away from you. There was no way for him to run so maybe he would attack. You weighed your options - fight? That would’ve been nice; at least your body would’ve gotten some exercise.
He laughed. “You think you can win? Destiny is waiting for you Hunter,” he said in an impressive voice. Another one of those ‘destiny’ believers. Apparently the Goddess had a plan for us all, not that you had much faith in it. Gods don't care about who kills whom or who eats what, they’re more concerned about their own entertainment. You’d never put much faith in any higher power, God or not, nobody gave a shit.
“You’ve killed people Lockham, you’ve been a very naughty vampire and now it’s time for your punishment,”you said as a teacher would say to a naughty kid. He took a step back.
“Who are you to punish me?” he mocked, showing you his blood covered teeth. He was just having a meal when you found him and then you two had a nice chase. You were glad that he ran, you wanted to stretch out your legs anyway.
“Exactly, I’m no one,” you said and took a step forward; he took a step back simultaneously and vanished. What? Vanished? How? You walked forward to investigate and sighed. How careless of you. There was a hole, he fell into the sewer. He must have used cloaking so that it would look like he vanished. The only thing he forgot was to close the hole. You shook your head,  you hated wet places! You jumped down and landed lightly on your feet, without making a sound, perfect.
You were getting bored of chasing him, it was almost dawn and you needed your beauty sleep. You took a deep breath and pulled out your silver dagger. It was your favorite weapon. Silver was deadly to vampires. It was very pretty with a finely carved snake on the handle with emeralds where the eyes should be; a gift from someone you had known a long time ago.  You closed your eyes and let your mind wander through the tunnels. Just like your immunity to silver, your telepathy was stronger than centuries old vampires and you could perform magic. You were a half-witch after all.
You found him running through the tunnels. As soon as your mind touched him, he froze. You were inside his mind now. Reading someone’s mind was nothing like watching a movie or reading a book. It was like waking up from a dream, you don’t remember what you saw or heard but the thing that you remember is the feeling, the essence of the dream. Every being has a certain essence, unique to them. Like walls that you can’t see or touch, but you know they’re there. You could clearly see the tunnel before you, but it was like a distant memory, you were no longer there.
You were in a room, an old room with cobwebs and dust. It smelled of something rotten, like a thousand dead rats. There were worn out clothes hanging from the ceiling - correction, there was no ceiling, just clothes hanging midair and swaying with the wind, except there was no wind. At one corner sat two rusty iron chairs. The window with broken glass showed a full moon. 
There was an old cupboard on the wall with the yellow wallpaper. It was white as if someone had carved it from bone. There were noises coming from the cupboard, screeching, screaming, the cry of a baby, the soothing voice of a mother, someone’s last words. A shudder ran through your body. I will never ever do this again, you promised yourself. 
You heard a creak from behind and you swiftly turned back. There he was, sitting in a corner, the little boy. He held a tattered grey cloak in his hands. His body was folded at impossible angles. He was white as a sheet, there was no blood in his body. He was thin with brittle bones. Dull brown eyes in a sunken face held unimaginable terror. 
He looked up at you. “I’m tired, I want to sleep,” he whispered and quickly stole a glance at the cupboard.
“Then why don’t you sleep?” you whispered back, clearly not wanting to wake anything in there. Yeah, getting into someone’s mind was a nice thing, you could get full control over them... but there was a catch. If something went wrong in that mind or if you failed to escape in time, then you’d be trapped there forever, or die. You were pretty sure that you didn’t want to be trapped in this mind, not here.
“They don’t let me sleep, they keep me awake so that I could bring more and more food for them,” he replied, pointing a finger at the cupboard. Slowly, you understood what he was saying. ‘One without a soul feeds on other’s souls,’ the thought crossed your mind, not a good one.
“What if you don’t bring them food?” You already knew the answer but you asked anyway, maybe just to confirm it.
“I’ll go mad,” he whispered back with horrified eyes.
“Come to me, I’ll help you sleep.” The words left your lips, the real ones which were still attached to your face. Lockham turned back and slowly walked towards you. You could hear his heavy footsteps in the tunnel.  At last he took the last turn and there he stood right in front of you. His eyes were blank. It was like there was no soul in his body, no life. You had him entirely under your control. If you told him to do ballet, he would dance like a professional, but you weren't a sadist. Life had already tortured him enough. 
“Come forward,” you said softly, the sooner it ended the better. He walked forward and your silver dagger slashed through his throat, severing his spine, killing him in a second. Blood splashed and soaked his body. It was a merciful death, you had seen worse. There are worse things than death in this world. Death was just an easy escape.
You stood there for a moment, looking at him, wishing that the outcome would’ve been different. Were you feeling sorry for him? No, you were feeling sorry for yourself. You were a fifty year old vampire and in all your years as a hunter you’d killed hundreds of criminals, but you had never been able to save one. 
People knew and people talked. Some said that you were cursed; you were the representative of death, the spawn of darkness. As a result, the council only gave you high profile cases, criminals that were too far gone to be saved. It was always death. The people you killed, they haunted your dreams. They would say to you, “What you do always comes back to you, there is no escape from this miserable life.” It was true, there was no escape. In your world there was only darkness, sorrow, fear, hate and death, always death.
You pulled out your cell phone and called the police. They would take care of the body. You bent down to leave a tracker near it, so they would find it easily. Lockham’s eyes were wide open, and you closed them. “At least one of us is at peace,” you whispered. 
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“You’re home!!” little Lilly exclaimed happily as you walked through the door. Your  family was sitting in the dining room, having supper. You were the firstborn, the eldest of your father’s children. Your father was the Duke of Serafino, the City of Snake; one of the two warrior cities in the Vampire Kingdom. He was a nice man with brown eyes and hair, fair complexion, nicely built but a little short. 
Your stepmother was a beauty; she had blue eyes, fair complexion, sharp features and hair spun like gold. Her children took after her, all cream and gold. They all hated you, except for the little one, Lilly.
“Yay, I’m home,” you said sarcastically. It was hard not to be nice to the little girl who looked at you with wonder in her eyes; she was so full of life. To no one’s wonder you had blood on your clothes and your darling step mother eyed it with a look in her eyes that said filthy. For you, it was like an invitation. You were planning to have supper in your room just like any other day, but you sat down at the end of the table. Your father was seated at his normal seat which belonged to the head of the family. The chair right across from him was the place for his wife, but that was your mother’s place and now it belonged to you. 
Your mother had died in childbirth, you had her amber eyes and olive skin. Her name was Katina. People told you that she’d been a beauty; you had some of her pictures and sometimes you would feel her close beside you. It was a weird feeling, but not bad, not at all. You weren't a person who put her feelings on display, heck you hadn’t even cried in like twenty years! The only permanent feeling you had left was emptiness. You felt numb, like a shell, nothing inside, no love, no hope, not even sorrow after all these years. It felt like you were dead and it was true, your heart was dead.
“I would like some blood sausages Charles and don’t forget the wine,” you said cheerfully to the butler. He was a nice guy, always talked politely. You suspected that he was in love with the cook, Ms. Glen; it would be nice to have some love in this house which felt like living in a coffin.
“How was your day, Y/N?” Lilly asked, her cheerful eyes trained on you. You wondered for how long this child would be allowed to keep her innocence? When you’d been her age ...you shied away from that thought. Thoughts bring back memories and your memories were like old corpses, one would never want to dig them. Instead you took a bite of your sausage - man, they were delicious.
“It was almost nice, Bunny. I played who-can-catch-me with a friend and I won!!” Bunny was the nickname you had given her because she was never still. Everyone paused for a moment; it was really weird and funny at the same moment. You loved how all the eyes drifted to you and back to Lilly. She was beaming because you had won the game. You gave her a small smile.
“Oh that’s wonderful!! Where is your friend now?” Curious little kid, everyone paused again, including you this time.
“You see, we were playing on a bet. He lost the bet so he had to …go to another city.” You were very good at lying, but her beaming eyes and pure innocence made it hard. It was impossible to lie to that child.
“When would he come back?” she asked, and you sighed. Your plate was half empty and the looks everyone were giving you just killed the hunger inside. You stood up with the wine glass in my hand.
“Chew your food, Bunny,” you replied and left the room.
Your room was a mixture of blue and gold. The wallpapers were straight lines of different shades of blue. The furniture was of mahogany wood with fine carvings. The round rug was golden on the edge and blue in the middle, it looked like a pool of water. All the linen was blue and gold as well. Your bed was round and big with golden bedposts and curtains. You had a balcony of your own with a little fountain with a sculpture of a mother and her child. You had spent a lot of time taking care of the blue roses in your garden. 
The front wall was covered with your music collection. You found peace in music, it was the only time when you could just forget everything and float. You quickly changed and crawled under the sheets, picking up the remote from the side table and pressing the play button. It was Mozart’s duo. What an amazing symphony! It helped you drift back to your happy memories.
Unlike your half brothers and sisters, you were raised in Tiria. It was a small town on the edge of Serafino. You were raised by the Countess of Tiria, a very kind woman. She had grace, beauty, and wealth but no children. She showered you with love and pretty gifts. You had excellent teachers for your education. You learned everything from crochet to fencing. 
The manor there was old and beautiful. It had a beautiful garden and a whole forest around it. You would often go into the forest, just to explore it. Those were the happiest days of your life. Until your tenth birthday - the day the Countess died.
Just like the symphony, your thoughts turned darker. You’d been happy that day; the maids had told you that you were going to have a big birthday party. The Earl had been there for two weeks now. Your innocent mind had thought that he was there for your birthday. That morning you were out in the gardens, picking up some red roses for the Countess, it was something you did every day. You would just run into her room to put them on her side table, she loved that. You held the bunch of roses in your tiny hands, running through the house to her room. You were wearing a very pretty white dress with laces and pink ribbons. Your bare feet softly met the stone floor as you ran to her room and pushed the door, happily calling to her.
The Countess was there, lying on the floor in a pool of blood. There were bruises on her body and a sword, stabbed right through her heart. The handle of the sword was in the hands of the Earl. He twisted the blade with a cruel smile in his eyes. Then you screamed. The flowers falling from your hands, red roses into red blood - they were the same color. Your pretty white dress was now red. You backed away still screaming, leaving little red footprints on the floor. The maids came running to you and held you tight as you screamed and screamed. You don’t remember for how long you were screaming or what happened later.
You drifted off to sleep. 
It was a beautiful forest. The trees were so thick that sunlight barely touched the ground and everything was covered in moss. You were standing there in front of a giant wolf. It wasn’t a werewolf, it smelled like a  regular  one but just giant, like a direwolf. It was growling at you, baring his teeth. You had no weapons with you, you double checked. You looked around for an escape, you could kill him with your teeth but they weren’t as sharp as they’d used to be. You looked at your nails, they were fragile. Heck! You were human!!
“Y/N, wake up!!” the wolf suddenly spoke in a girly voice. It didn’t make sense, really.
“Are you a girl?” you asked the wolf who was ready to kill you. Talking to an animal, guess you had finally lost your sanity.
“Y/N!!” Someone was shaking you, trying to wake you up without much success. Then you realized you were sleeping under a bunch of blankets and pillows. It was three in the morning; you could tell by the smell of the air. You peeked at the person who had dared to disturbed you. It was Lily.
“What is it, Bunny?” you asked sleepily. It was good she had practice understanding you while you sleep talked, if it was anyone else, they would’ve thought you were talking gibberish.
“I had a bad dream,” she said with a puppy face. You knew what she wanted; she wanted to sleep with you. 
“Me too,” you replied and ran your tongue over your teeth, yup, still vampire. “Come here you,” you said, grabbing her and stuffing her under the pile of blankets and pillows. You loved a warm cozy place to sleep. You held her like a teddy bear and dozed off again. She was so soft in your arms and she held tight onto you. Protecting someone was a good feeling. You went back to sleep as if  you had never woken up.
NEXT
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alwaysbeliev · 3 years
Text
Oh, Arthur
pairing: Arthur x Reader
summary: Reader lives a high society life and is tired of it. When they meet a man so intriguing they can't help but let him steal a place at their dinner table, they start to hope that, maybe, there is something else to their life. Instead, they hurt him more than they may ever know.
word count: 3026
warnings: non-explicit NSFT, vague descriptions of NSFT
notes: I pulled the prompt for this from a list of phrases. I knew the general idea of what I wanted to do with it, and it took on its own life. Congratulations, Reader, you're Mary 2.0.
link on AO3
Noonday sun pierced between the curtains of the front room. The chatter of the small tea party around you was a distant hum, your focus on the spoon you held in your hand. Absentmindedly, you stirred the sugar into your tea, hardly aware of the soft clinking against the cup. Your mind was elsewhere.
Pressed against the wall, chest heaving, he kissed along your jawline and down your neck, pausing to nibble at the soft space where your neck met your shoulders. You couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp, lips parted, hands gripping the sleeves of his shirt. He smiled against your skin and exhaled, making you shiver. 
The sound of your name caused your head to snap up to attention.
“Did you hear what Mrs. Hearst asked you?” Your mother stared at you expectantly. The look in her eyes was begging you to not embarrass her, but you had truthfully missed what the woman in question had asked. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you quickly pulled an apologetic smile.
“I’m so sorry,” you said graciously, dipping your head slightly, “my mind is with the clouds today. Would you mind repeating your question?”
“Oh, I do hope we’re not boring you.” Mrs. Hearst pursed her lips, accentuating the creased lines along her face that had no doubt been created solely from this repeat action. “As I was saying, my darling Charlotte has traveled to the West and is already meeting many men. She has already had three suitors calling at the door! Her brother is beside himself with contempt. Perhaps you, too, would like to go west? Unless there is someone here you have not shared with us?”
Her question hung in the air. The room was full of your mother’s friends and their children, though the rest of them were still too young to have to worry about meeting a potential spouse. You hated this conversation topic. It was always bound to come up when you had tea with these people, it was expected now after more than a few months, and you were tempted to start feigning ill when they came around.
Truthfully, you had met someone. He was the reason you were barely paying attention today. But if your family knew the type of man he was, that you were consorting with him, that you were fucking him… It was a subject you could never mention. It would ruin the family, and that was far too important a reputation to destroy. So, instead, with a barely concealed tartness, you replied, “I have not yet met someone, no, but perhaps I will write your Charlotte and help myself to her leftovers.”
A sharp gasp rang collectively around the room. Even the youngest of the children froze in their quiet playing, turning to see what had caused such a reaction among the adults, and your mother looked downright furious. It was rude to say, you knew that, but it was hot in this room and you were tired of being under a microscope once a week. There was someplace else you would much rather be.
“Perhaps you could do with some fresh air,” your mother hissed, her attempt to sound concerned for your sudden outburst not going unnoticed by some of the others. “The heat must be getting to your head.”
You gratefully took her invitation to leave, excusing yourself to the room in general. As you pushed back your chair and stood, you saw the nasty look Mrs. Hearst gave your mother and felt just a twinge of guilt; it wasn’t her fault you misbehaved. You were simply overwhelmed and didn’t appreciate being pushed around.
The air felt better in the hallway, but you carried on to the back door, stepping out onto the modest deck your father had built last summer. “For entertaining,” he had claimed, but it was primarily used for poker games amongst the men. Bright light hit your face and you blinked rapidly for a moment to adjust. It wasn’t much cooler out here, but the air moved and provided a relief from the prying words.
Taking in a deep breath, you closed your eyes and tilted your chin up, soaking in the shade and breathing in the summer air. Birds twittered in the air around you, fluttering from tree to tree. Carriages pulled by horses trundled by in front of the house, the cobblestones making a distinct clattering sound against the carefully designed wheels. Squirrels scrambled up and down tree trunks in the meticulously landscaped yard.
Flat on your back, you hungrily drank in the appearance of the man hanging over you, desperate to take in every detail of his face. His honey brown hair fell over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes as he trapped your wrists on either side of your head. His intense blue-green eyes matched the hunger in yours as he locked gazes with you. He had stubble on his chin that had been scratching your skin deliciously.
“Are you ready?” he asked, voice rough with impatience and need. You couldn’t even muster up the words to answer him, nodding vigorously as he kneeled closer to you. 
“I hope you’re happy!”
The shrill sound of your mother’s voice snapped you out of your reverie. You hoped the redness on your cheeks could be excused by the temperature of the air.
“I hope she’s happy, sticking her nose into peoples’ personal business like that,” you rebutted. 
“I won’t be hosting next week’s tea,” she snapped back. “And I have been very clearly not invited to the next party at the Clemens’. I don’t know where you got this sharp tongue, but you had better put it back! And quick!” With that, she whirled back inside, no doubt to try and garner sympathy from the remaining stragglers. Knowing her, she would be reinvited to the party just in time to get a new evening gown for it. Your father would be relieved at not having to go, and would grumble to you afterwards about having been forced to go anyway.
The predictability of this life was draining. You were exhausted from the parties, the expectations, the demands. Was it not enough to simply exist? Surely there was more to everything than the finest silks, the most expensive meat, the purest horses.
On an excursion you had enjoyed much more than your mother, you had seen a man outside the grocery in Strawberry. He was tall, rugged, and the most handsome you had ever seen. You had made eye contact and he raised his eyebrows, almost challenging you to approach. It had been difficult to stop yourself from smiling as you ducked your head, attempting to return your focus to the trinkets your mother was pointing out to you. His gaze continued to burn a hole in the back of your head.
Later that evening, you ate dinner in the hotel lodge, listening to your mother tear apart the decor of the room and flavor of the food. It was the cheapest meal you had ever eaten in your life, you were sure, but by far the most filling. She excused herself to bed early, leaving you to finish alone. Out of nowhere, the man from earlier slid into her vacant seat, setting a plate of his own at her place.
“Excuse me--” You tried to sound indignant, but he interrupted you.
“Forgive me if I misread your look earlier,” he drawled, “but I took it as an invitation. And I think it’d be mighty rude of you to decline, seein’ as I already have my food.”
The bluntness caused you to laugh, almost involuntarily, and he had been allowed to stay. You got along almost immediately. He was charming, his laugh deep and hearty, his manners surprising you. Up close, you could see the scars on his face, the dirt and grime of a man who rode a horse most of his days, the tanned skin from being outside for hours. He introduced himself as Arthur, but when you asked for his last name, he refused to give it. There was a strange air of secrecy to him that drew you in and made you lose track of time.
Before you knew it, the lights in the dining room were being extinguished. The waiter approached and apologized, but they were closing up and politely invited you to enjoy wine refreshment in the lobby. Nerves suddenly returned to you and you defaulted to the upstanding citizen of society you knew how to be.
“I’m sorry, my mother must be wondering where I got to.” 
“Why? She seemed a lot more interested in getting the hell out of here.”
His lack of a filter surprised you, but you realized he was right. She hadn’t once responded to your fruitless efforts to lighten the mood and find the positives. It was clear she had no interest in remaining here much longer. She was probably already asleep and wouldn’t notice you were missing until she was awake again.
“I got my own room.” It was Arthur’s turn to appear shy. Despite his forward statement, he almost seemed to regret it. “We could, uh, keep talkin’ there. If you wanted.”
Talking, you definitely wanted to do. You agreed, joking lightly about your honor as a single person entering the bedroom of a man, but you found yourself following him. His room was on the opposite end of the hall from yours, your mother’s right beside yours. Neither light was on. The giddiness settled in your chest and you played with the buttons on your sleeve.
Talking, you definitely did. For about five minutes. You barely had a chance to blink when Arthur was suddenly kissing you. And you kissed him back. It wasn’t much longer until neither of you were dressed. 
It had been three months since that first meeting. You had since learned much more about Arthur. He was an outlaw, running with Dutch van der Linde’s gang. He had been for a long time, and you found out after seeing a wanted poster with names of gang members listed on it. You had learned his last name, too. Morgan. He spilled everything when you brought it up after your third encounter, clothes piled on the floor, blankets mussed up around your two bare forms on the bed. Despite his appearance, Arthur was well-spoken and kind, and he was always aware of your feelings.
Standing on the porch, you wanted nothing more than to see him again, the itch to get away driving you mad. Torn, you debated running away again. Nobody would question your borrowing of a horse, you knew that wouldn’t be difficult, but you dreaded the interrogation you would have to be submitted to upon your return. The summer heat was starting to get to your head.
“A-Arthur,” you moaned, hands clenched tightly on ruffled sheets, not even caring who might hear. The pace was driving you towards the edge, you could feel the build-up in your core. He showed no signs of slowing down as he thrust. His own pleasure was clear on his face and it only served to push you closer.
You nearly left a cloud of dust behind you as you left the porch for a horse. It would be worth the interrogation.
----------------------------
You were barely in the door of the hotel room before you were grabbing at the cowboy’s shirt, tugging him closer to you and kissing him. You felt the chuckle in his chest more than you heard it as he shut the door.
“Slow down, darlin’,” he said between each kiss. “We just got here, there ain’t no rush.”
“Missed you,” you breathed. Your hands pawed desperately, almost like they were trying to uncover some distraction from the turmoil inside. Arthur hadn’t caught on yet; this was the normal interaction. Sex was first, the talking came second. The grin on his face was intoxicating, drawing you in, and you felt your entire body flush.
“I missed you, too.” His hands held either side of your face as his lips came crashing against yours. You couldn’t hold him tight enough, he wasn’t close enough, you wanted so much more. Every place he touched burned, his finger tips at the base of your head, his thumbs brushing your cheeks, it was overwhelming. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. He paused, gently grabbing your hands in his. “Slow. Down.”
“I can’t,” you whined, the heat in you bubbling to the surface. “I need this. More. You.”
Arthur hesitated. He studied your face for a moment, looking for...something. With a heart-dropping change in expression, he scoffed, “I’m a goddamn fool. Jesus..” He dropped your hands and stepped away, taking his hat off to run a hand through his hair.
“What..?”
You were still breathing heavily, your body confused by the direction change, hands still searching for something to grab. Brow furrowed, you tried to close the gap between the two of you, but he refused to look at you anymore. You drew a shaky breath to steady yourself.
“Arthur, what is it?”
“I can’t believe this.” The tone of his voice was difficult to place. There was the obvious anger, which you didn’t understand, but there was also a strange touch of sadness. It almost sounded like he was beating himself up about something. “I should’ve known after Mary…”
Mary Linton. You had heard of her, he had mentioned her before, but beyond knowing it was a failed relationship, you had little to no context for her. It had ended on mutual terms, you thought. It still wasn’t enough for you to piece together what was going through his head. You had both been ready to go, this was how it was, you were going to have to wash your underthings when you got home just from the first five minutes.
“Arthur,” you finally snapped, “what’s wrong?”
He stiffened up. You could see his fists clench and unclench before his entire body relaxed and he turned, resigned, to face you. The look of defeat and poorly hidden hurt drove a knife into your chest. 
“We can’t keep doing this,” he said. His voice was heavy, laced with context you didn’t know.
“Doing what?”
“This. Sneakin’ off to some hotel, screwing each other, and then going our separate ways like nothin’ matters. Like I don’t matter.”
A pit grew in your gut. Part of you knew what he was saying, but you believed it was deeper than that. Surely, there was more to it than that.
“You do matter,” you managed to say. “You matter to me.”
He laughed, short and derisive, disbelieving. Shaking his head, he made eye contact, gaze sharp. 
“All I’m good for is pretending like you’re standing up to your parents.” He shifted his weight, hands coming to rest on his belt, a comfortable position for him. A safe position. “Mommy and Daddy don’t know where you are or what you’re doin’. All you’re doin’ is using me. And I ain’t gonna let it happen again.”
You expected tears to come to your eyes. It was hurtful, what he said, and absolutely not the truth. Instead, anger flared in your chest, rising to your head and making you lightheaded again. 
“You’re not just some toy--”
“Oh, I’m not just some toy? How very kind of you to say. Tell me, what did you and Mommy fight about this time? Because you know she’s gonna forget about it before you get home.”
The pattern was suddenly clicking together in your head. Each time you had met up with Arthur was directly after your mother had done something to drive you over the edge. It wasn’t always an argument, but this was your escape. In some secret fashion, this activity was better than just reading a book or meeting with your friends for an hour of gossip time. You were able to let off physical pressure and nobody else knew what you were doing. 
Silent for too long, Arthur shook his head and moved to go.
“I hope y’all figure it out,” he told you. “Don’t bother writin’.”
“Wait!” you shouted, much louder than you needed to. He stopped, hand on the doorknob. “It wasn’t-- It wasn’t like that. I care about you, Arthur.”
“Please,” he muttered, a quiet venom lacing his words, “don’t flatter yourself. You’d better get cleaned up before you go home.” A snap of the door was all he left behind.
You felt empty, hollow. There was a strange aching in your chest now, the brief anger gone as quickly as it had arrived, leaving the dull truth of what he had said. You hadn’t wanted to admit it, you had connected so well with him. He was a friend, you rationalized, you had felt more than just a physical connection. You had an understanding. You couldn’t muster up the energy to cry. You had fucked up, you knew that now, but it was too late. Arthur made it very clear he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. 
For a while, you laid on the bed, watching the light shift around the room as the sun descended, eventually bathing the room in an orange glow. You knew the sun would be gone soon, and your mother would raise a huge fuss if you weren’t home for dinner. Gathering your courage, you left the room, thanking the clerk at the desk as you handed back the key. He had a look on his face that you tried to avoid reading into. 
You returned to your normal life with a heavy heart that night. Arthur Morgan, the outlaw with a huge bounty on his head, had come into your life like a much needed sunny day. He had invited himself in and you welcomed him with open arms. But you used him as an umbrella, shielding yourself from the storm that was your existence and identity, sure that somehow, this would protect you. You pushed him too far, you realized that now, and, full of holes, he left your life, tired and worn out.
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