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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 28 days

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Winter's King 14

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)

Characters: Geralt of Rivia

Note: Another work week :(

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Not long after the king’s departure, Lord Jaskier excuses himself to see to his horse. Queen Jazlene sends him off with a similar quip about serious matters. You don’t quite understand her. She should be concerned with the weeks of travel ahead of her, not only of the time, but of the climate.

She finishes the bottle on her own. Much of it went to her cup. You think of warning her but it isn’t your place. You can only watch her head wobble as that hazy look softens her features. On her last gulp, a droplet trickles down her chin. You suspect she might be as unhappy as her husband claimed of himself the previous night. They make a rather sad pairing.

It’s early still. Perhaps once they are settled, it won’t be so tense. They will have a chance to know each other better without the stresses of a war or the road ahead.

Your thoughts stray and your vision fogs as you stare at a blue tapestry. Jazlene continues to babble and suddenly, the clink of her cup jolts you from your trance. You look at her as she slumps against the table. Her shoulders are slack, her arms bent around her head as it droops onto the wood. You can see her breath as she hunches weakly in her chair.

“Your highness?” You call to her. You sway on your feet as you watch her. Come on, move. “Your highness?” You take a step toward her, “Lady Jazlene?”

She groans and slips to the side. You rush around without a thought to catch her. She garbles drunkenly as you hold her in her arms, one leg still on the seat as her other hangs limply. She’s heavier than you would expect.

“Your highness?” You squeak as you struggle to keep her off the ground. You can’t drop the queen.

Her head lolls as her lashes flutter. She is certainly not conscious. The acrid scent of wine rises from her lips. You try to hike her higher, slinging her arm around your shoulder as you grunt. She’s not that big, you’re just weak. You can carry a cask or a chest, but a person is a much different matter.

You wrap your arms around her and haul her around the table. Her slippers drag and you clatter into the chairs and nearly trip on the edge of the rug. Your leg muscles thrum with the effort and your back racks. You look around. The bedchamber is too far.

You turn and little by little, step by step, drag her to the couch. Her feet loudly scrape across the floor. You angle her around with another laboured grunt and as you do, the hinges whine and the left door opens. You look up as the king enters and your lips part in surprise. You’ve been caught. Rather, the queen has.

He stares at you and eases shut the door. He comes around as your arms quake. He wordlessly takes his wife from your grasp and lays her across the sofa. You put a pillow under her head and back up, rubbing your upper arms.

“Your highness, she was not feeling well,” you say.

“She has drunk herself into a stupor,” he snarls as he backs up, crossing his arms as he glares down at her. “Do not lie, especially on her behalf. It does not become you.”

“Your highness, I apologise. I only worry for her--”

“You shouldn’t,” he intones, “she doesn’t worry for you. Or me. Or anyone but herself.” He turns and goes to the table. He rights the overturned cup and you reproach yourself for not doing so first. “But I do appreciate you attending to her. I’d rather not have found her upon the floor.”

“Your highness,” you bow your head.

He’s quiet. You’re unsure what to do next. Should you leave him with Jazlene or stay to tend to her? He will need sleep for the ride.

“Little maid, you will send to have a bath drawn. There will be little chance to wash upon the road,” he commands.

“As you wish, your highness.”

“Mm, if only,” he murmurs as she sits and grabs the empty bottle, sneering at its hollowness.

You set off to have water brought to his chamber. You assist the other servants in carrying the vessels of steaming water. All the while, the king ruminates at the table. He picks at his index finger and his cheek ticks. When at last the tub is full, you go to trail out after the castle servants.

“Little maid, I require assistance,” he says.

You remain and the doors close in the tension. You watch the king, your fingers twined together as you cautiously approach. He glowers at his fingers and huffs.

“You have small hands,” he rests his palm open on the table, “please, I would have use of them.”

Curious, you move towards him. He turns to you and holds out his large hand. He pokes his index fingers up and hisses.

“I got it on the door. A splinter,” he explains.

You see the dark spot, just the minuscule tip of it poking above his rough skin. The skin around it is inflamed, both from the sliver and his fussing. You bring your hands to cradle his single one and lean to have a closer look. You keep one hand under his and slip the other down the side of his palm.

You brush your fingertips over the lines of his knuckles. He’s quiet as he lets you gently squeeze. You glance up beneath your lashes.

“It might hurt, your highness. Apologies.”

His cheek twitches, “I’ve had worse than a maid’s touch.”

You squeeze until his flesh his taut. You pinch the tip of the splinter with your other fingers, using your nails to get a grip of it. You pull slowly. Very slowly, terrified of losing hold and having it go deeper. The wooden sliver slides out and before you can examine it, it falls to the floor, disappearing into the fabric of the rug.

The king sighs, “better.” He brings his other hand over yours and covers your small ones with his, “many thanks, little maid.”

He lets you go, his calloused skin brushing your sleeves, and he hums grimly. He bends his head forward and his white waves shift on his shoulders. He pushes his hair back and raises his head again. His eyes almost glow as he looks at you.

“I should fetch some water for the queen in case she stirs--”

“Later,” he dismisses, “might I ask another favour of such delicate hands?”

You dip your chin down, “I serve you and the queen, your highness.”

“Mm, yes, you recall, the knot in my shoulder, where I carry my sword,” he points along his shoulder, “if it isn’t trouble, I might have you loosen it before I must ride anon.”

“Your highness,” you acquiesce, curling your fingers into your palms. You remember that first night you met him, as he sat in the steaming tub and had you touch him. You sweat at the memory.

“It would be best before I soak,” he reaches to untie the laces of his tunic.

You watch him, helpless. As with the queen, you can only heed his whims. At least he is gentler in his mastery. He pulls his tunic above his head and strips it away completely. He lets it hang over one leg and squares his shoulders as he sits back in the chair.

You go around him and he moves his hair to his other shoulder. Your hands tremble slightly before you touch him. His muscles are thick and his skin taught across everyone. His arms are rounded with bulk and his neck is bullish in girth. He carries so much strength and power as if it is nothing.

You squeeze the muscles gently with one hand, pressing the other behind it. You knead carefully, gradually putting more behind it, responding to the soft breaths and low grunts rising from the king. You hit a spot with some resistance and he growls.

“There,” he grits as he drops his head forward. “Harder.”

You push your thumb against the little pearl of tension you feel along his shoulder. He exhales deeply and lets out a wolfish snarl. He grips his thigh as you work his flesh. Your hands move without much thought. Lady Rezlyn often requested to have her feet done, a much less ideal task.

“Mm, treasure...” he breathes though his words aren’t entirely clear.

Another noise rises from him, sharper than before. You stop, frightened.

“Your highness, have I hurt you?” You utter.

Before you can retract your hand, he has a hold of you. He lifts his head and hangs it back, his hair spilling down. He looks up at you with his bright eyes as he clings to your hand. He presses it flat and moves it over his shoulder. He drags it down against his chest where you can feel his heartbeat.

You’re caught in his gaze and his grasp. You just stand there, entranced by his golden irises. Each time you see them, they are more brilliant than the last. Your own chest tightens and binds up your breath.

“You can never hurt me,” he rasps. You gulp as he lightens his hold and pets your hand. He closes his eyes and winces. “Little maid...” he sits forward and gently moves your hand away from his chest, “you must go now. You must face the road with us and you will require rest.” He lets you go completely and stands. “I trust my wife will have many a demand to keep you busy.”

“Yes, your highness,” you murmur.

“Now,” he insists. “You must go now.”

He crosses the chamber and stops in the door to his bedchamber. You quickly flit over to the doors that lead out to the corridor. You pause and glance over as you sense him move. He stares at you, his eyes licking with flames. His chest rises and falls, trimmed in thick hair that trails down his hard stomach.

“Go...”

You obey and heave open the door. The soldiers on the other side snort. It is late, they must’ve dozed. You don’t think much of that as you harry down the corridor, not looking back. The king’s timber nips at your ears. The way he spoke; ‘go’. It was more than just a word; it was a warning.

⚔️

You rise with the castle, quickly falling into the tumult of the impending departure. When you arrive at the king’s chambers that morning, you are sent away. You find Jazlene in her own. He must have taken her back before the sun.

She is groggy and sombre as you help her dress. The pain in her skull leaks out in pathetic moans. You offer her lemons water and a cool cloth for her head. You see the difference as she accepts but she remains weak. It will be difficult for her to ride.

Horses fill the courtyard and the luggage carts crowd around the stables and rear of the castle. The scene reminds you of Debray. You only hope Queen Jazlene does not cause a similar scene. You don’t believe she can.

You accompany her to the front of the train. The king is not there. The queen clutches her throat as if she might be sick as the smell of the horses is stirred by their whipping tails. She grumbles and calls for a water skin. You find one and she shooes you away.

“Enough of you,” she snips.

You stay close, keeping watch should she signal for anything else. She can barely lift her head to do more than drink thirstily. Lords and ladies as good as ignore the queen as she mutters to her horse.

“Eh, mouse, there y’are,” Bryce’s voice undercuts your pity. “I’ve been looking for ya.”

You face him and the weight slips from your shoulders, “you have?”

“What are you insinuating?” He challenges, “Daisy’s missing ya.”

“Oh,” your brows raise, “well, it just so happens I miss her too.”

“We’ll be off soon. You should come claim your place with the luggage.”

“Should,” you agree.

You follow him through the press of bodies. You get further down, away from the pages and soldiers, see Daisy lazily hoofing at the ground. She chews on a sparse bit of grass in the dust. As you near, you notice that her holster is thicker than it was. She is attached to a small cart.

“What is this?” You ask as you stop short.

“It’s yours, mouse,” Bryce says staunchly, “isn’t right you riding with the chests. Not for so far as we need to go.”

“You... you did this for me?” You ask. "But... what about--”

“Found a spare horse. He’s a bit less friendly than our beloved but he’ll do fine enough,” he explains, “’sides, Daisy needs a respite. She don’t needa be carrying around my hefty behind much longer.”

“Oh, my,” you put your hand to your cheek and go to the cart, “Sir Bryce, you are a true knight.”

“Don’t you get sappy with me,” he tuts as he follows. “Look inside, will ya?”

You look inside the cart. There’s a long cushion and a pack. It’s a lot compared to what you came with; nothing. Bryce reaches in and tugs something from beneath the cushion. You watch the fur ripple out as he reveals the cloak. It’s thick and long and hooded. He holds it up.

“When we get to the Hinterlands, you’ll be needing this,” he says.

You touch the fur, it’s soft. You blink and feel it between your fingers. Your eyes sting.

“Sir,” you bat your lashes, “it is too much for me.”

“It isn’t very much, you are just too humble, mouse,” he folds and holds it out to you. “Now, don’t you be telling anyone this was my doin’. I got a reputation to uphold.”

“Oh,” you clamp your lips shut as you try to hold back your emotion.

A smile breaks through and you bare your teeth. Your cheeks hurt from the joy bursting forth. You hug the cloak and rock, looking around. As you do, you falter at a familiar face.

The king leads a dark horse along the edge of the yard. He is looking at you, or so it seems. You let your expression slip and tamp down your glee. You bow your head in King Geralt’s direction.

When you look up again, he is gone.

#geralt of rivia #dark geralt #dark!geralt #geralt of rivia x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #au #medieval au #the witcher #winter's king

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etz-ashashiyot · 2 months

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About Me/FAQs

This is a new blog for a new chapter of my life. Starting over is both a little bittersweet and very freeing.

You can call me Avital. I am a non-binary traditional egalitarian Jew living in the US. Any pronouns except they/them are fine. (!היא/את בעברית, בבקשה. תודה)

I really appreciate human interaction. That being the case, if you follow me and I don't already follow you, please send me a DM with the following:

What you want me to call you (internet name, username, nickname, whatever)

What brought you here and made you want to follow me

Something random about you that you feel comfortable sharing (pet pics are always welcome too <3)

I had a whole lot of other rules on my previous blog to weed out the faint of heart, but I genuinely don't know how well that worked, so instead I will simply put roughly the same information below as resources and recommended reading. Fair warning: I will operate from a baseline assumption that you've done the reading and therefore will not be explaining anything in them.

I also had a listing of my firm opinions and other miscellaneous information. That got long and unwieldy, but a lot of people seemed to appreciate it, so I will post roughly the same list under the cut.

The current username refers to my current symbol of a tree of lanterns in the starlight. This is related to my desire to create self-symbolism, old school style (like I really want to create a family crest, a flag, a seal, and other heraldic nonsense. Why? Because it delights me, of course.)

This page is under construction and subject to change at any time.

B'vracha,

Avital

Recommend Reading

For followers who are Christian, were Christian, are non-Jews who grew up in a Christian culture and/or have only learned about Judaism through Christianity, these links are very helpful in unpacking some of the antisemitism you were taught:

Better Parables (specifically the article about Pharisees, but read the rest of the site too, it's great)

Antisemitic readings of the Temple table-flipping incident in the New Testament

The current Israel-Hamas war and just המצב discourse in general require a lot of background knowledge to discuss intelligently, and not just propaganda. There is a LOT of antisemitism in the public around this topic and it is having serious real-world consequences for Jews all over the world. The mis- and disinformation is causing problems for everyone involved. Islamophobia in the West has increased as well. If you're going to engage in this discussion, I am respectfully but forcefully asking you to read the following sources. They are useful regardless of where you fall on that political scale.

There Is No Magic Peace Fairy

Ways to help: [1], [2], [3]

A non-exhaustive list of antisemitic incidents, attacks, and pogroms during [OP's] lifetime

This is perhaps my best summary of my own feelings on the whole thing

Is your pro-Palestine activism hurting innocent people? Here's how to avoid that

An exceptionally long and thorough explanation of antisemitism and antisemitic violence throughout history

Why The Most Educated People in America Fall for Antisemitic Lies by Dara Horn (tumblr link in case the article link gets broken)

An excellent overview of the basics

This is nowhere near complete information, but it's an important start. I will very likely continue to add resources as they become available and would love to create a primer on this topic more generally.

About the blog:

I’m going to try my best to keep this blog to primarily Judaism, comparative religion and theology, with the occasional side sprinkling of queer & trans stuff, BUT it is absolutely a personal blog at the end of the day.

I talked about Israel and המצב stuff a lot on my previous blog and will likely continue a bit over here too. I welcome a broad swath of opinions, so long as they objectively treat all parties involved as human and deserving of safety, stability, freedom, dignity, and peace. That is apparently a large ask these days, and a not-small part of why I keep talking about this issue. Please be part of the voices that give me hope for the future, okay?

Minors can follow and interact but please keep in mind that I’m probably closer to your parents' age than yours if you do want to interact with me directly.

Interactions:

Rude asks will be deleted. Harassing blogs will be blocked and probably reported.

I consider anything even remotely in the vicinity of trying to proselytize to me to be “harassing,” or at a minimum, rude. Just FYI.

Otherwise, nice interactions are welcomed.

Banter is encouraged; trolling will be ignored

If I don't respond to your interaction, there's a strong chance that I (a) have no idea what to say and am thinking about it, (2) totally meant to respond and just forgot after the notif disappeared, and/or (3) got incredibly busy. It's not personal! Please don't be shy about following up with me if you like. I promise that if we have a problem that is fixable, you'll know. If we have a problem that is not fixable, you'll be blocked.

I am currently learning Ivrit and am delighted to have interactions in Hebrew. Please feel free to message me, reply to posts or reblog, submit asks, etc. in Hebrew and I will do my best to read and respond to it. (Responses will be slower, but not for lack of appreciation of your thoughts!)

Anything else, just ask.

Hard stances:

You're not going to change my mind on these things; I've looked at the evidence, my personal experiences, and thought about them long and hard, and I am not going to be swayed by an internet rando. I can (often, but not always) co-exist just fine with people who I disagree with, but if seeing my posts about this is going to upset you, just do us both a favor and block me now please.

I am deeply distressed at how many people are choosing to live in a "post-factual society" where the truth is based on truthiness vibes and the politics are based on the quippiest of slogans. I don't care who's doing it, misinfo, disinfo, propaganda, atrocity denial, and gaslighting are BAD. There is no nuance here; these are bad things. They are bad if they go against your cause and they are bad if they "support" your cause. No cause is better than the truth.

If we cannot have a discussion where we are operating from the same baseline reality of verifiable facts, we cannot have a productive conversation and I will not engage with you. We can agree or disagree on a lot and that is fine, but facts matter.

If you cannot be reasoned with in accepting verifiable facts as reality, you need help. I'm serious. That is cult behavior. Get off tumblr and get help.

I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people. If you don't see the inherent worth in other human beings' lives, I can't fix that. Go take that struggle to G-d and heal your soul.

Queer might be a slur in the mouths of some people, but my identity isn't. Don't reblog my posts if you're going to tag it with "q slur" or "q word" or censored in some way. I'm not Gay as in "I prioritize cis men over the entire rest of the community" but Queer as in "my personal labels are none of your business but my political stance on queer liberation sure as fuck will be."

I support the right of the Jewish people to self-determination in our ancestral homeland of Israel, the same way that I support other indigenous groups' right to self-determination in their ancestral homelands. If you don't, I'm going to need you to examine why Jews should be singled out of every other group to be denied this right or denied support in seeking it. That said, I definitely do not agree with many of the decisions made by the Israeli government, especially (but far from exclusively) regarding their treatment of Palestinians. I think both Jews and Palestinians deserve to live in peace, safety, freedom, dignity, and self-determination for both. No one is going anywhere; any real solution must recognize that. I tend to favor this proposal by A Land for All as an ideal (and given the grassroots nature of this idea, I think it could work pragmatically too, if the political will exists on both sides.)

I waver between calling myself a liberal Zionist and rejecting the Zionist/anti-Zionist dichotomy altogether because it inherently puts the validity of an existing state up for debate rather than looking at real solutions for the future. Bottom line: I'm a humanitarian and a pragmatist, and I care about all the people who call that part of the world home.

🌻 I stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

Free Iran from the Islamic Republic // Women Life Freedom

Abortion is a human right and should be safe, legal, available on demand, and shameless. It's a necessary medical procedure and it's completely barbaric that we're still talking about it as anything else.

Birth control, abortion, and no-fault divorce are actively positive parts of society and building healthy families.

Transition care is healthcare and also a human right. Allowing people to transition prevents self-harm and suicide, and has an extremely high efficacy rate with an exceptionally low level of risk or regret. We now have well over a century of data on this.

That said, detransitioners who are still supportive of trans people/aren't transphobic are more than welcome here, as any exploratory process deserves the right to say, "Interesting! But nope!"

Transunity, ace/aro positivity, and just inclusionism in general, 100%. Fuck off with anything else.

If you don't vaccinate yourself and your kids for any reason other than medical necessity, and especially if you promote anti-vaxxer views and the associated pseudoscience, you are actively harming the most vulnerable members of society for entirely selfish reasons and that makes you a bad person. I hope your kids bypass you to get vaccinated.

Wear a mask 😷

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husk-not-whiskers · 3 months

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Day 7…. Closing up shop.

The party is over. Only few remain. The show has come to close. All things come to an end.

Husk looks across the hotel, it’s late. He’ll be going to sleep soon. But one more round of drinks is always fun.

♥️♠️♦️♣️ 🂱 ╰ ─┉─¡! • !¡─┉─ ╯ 🂱 ♣️♦️♠️♥️

Wow. First of all. Thank you. Thank you all so much. I love and appreciate every single one of you. I’m tearing up even writing this. Well… typing… I fucking love you all so much. I may not know you. You may only be an anon I’ve talked to once. But I think about you. I think about you all so much. I’m going to miss you. I REALLY REALLY am

None of you understand just how much this means to me. That’s why I need to take a break. I love you. I really really really do. I want you to understand I’m not leaving because I hate you, it’s the opposite. I love you all too much. I need to focus on my health and life. I’ve got some serious stuff coming up and I need to focus on it. I plan on coming back in April. But I don’t know. Life really loves to fuck me over. You can still send asks, I’ll read them. I’ll love and cherish them. I may even answer a few of them before April, but I won’t be here like I am now. I’m going to sign out of this blog so I can’t get to it. Well atleast make it a bit more difficult. I won’t really be online all that much. But if you need me, shoot me a dm on main. A month doesn’t seem that long… but on the internet, a lot sure can happen.

“Let's say goodbye with a smile, dear

Just for a while dear we must part

Don't let this parting upset you

I'll not forget you, sweetheart”

Sappy thank you’s under cut

Let’s start with the guy who started it all. @.heybabeshru the one who got me to even make this blog in the first place. Who runs the @bad-boy-lover nifty blog! None of this would’ve happened without you. Without your kind words and encouragement I wouldn’t have made all these wonderful new friends. I’m truly grateful I got to cross paths with you.

And Ivory. Who runs the @alastor-radiodemon blog. There’s so much to say! I mean you and Rat were the first to interact with me. Make me feel welcome and a part of this whole thing. The way you write Alastor is so raw and real in this way I just can’t describe. You genuinely feel like the characters you write. I’m so glad I met you. I’m so glad I get to call you my friend.

@hazbinhoteloc-ninlil you are one of the bravest and kindest people I know. Without you, I doubt I would’ve been able to even call ivory my friend. Your mind is delightfully intriguing. The plots and stories you are able to come up with are truly magical.

To everyone in the discord, thank you.

@angeldust-real wow! Where to start? I just love your portrayal of angel so much. I’m at a loss for words. Seeing you in my notifications always puts a smile on my face

@dohdahradioanon man I mean, fuck I’m hooked on whatever you’ve got going on. Your character is so mysterious. Gyah I just love it so much

@mielles-lounge this whole event wouldn’tve happened with out you. I don’t know you all that well. But it’s been a pleasure

@ifyouthinkyouregettingaway I haven’t known you very long, but fuck. I love your Vox so much. And I’d love to continue role playing with you when I come back.

@redislonely I mean, what is there to say. I don’t know you all too well, but you’re certainly someone I can’t wait to get to know better.

And to all of you. I love you dearly. If you ever need me, DMs are open. And I’d love to discuss plots for when I come back. This is also an excuse to tell you all how much I love you

#hazbin hotel husk rp #role play #ask blog #mod green rambles

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transbeeduo · 1 year

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Hey! Welcome to my Blog! Call me Crunch! I'm fine with whatever pronouns, but I mostly alternate between She/He/They! I identify as Asexual, Ambiamorous, and Panromantic! Also I’m an adult 👍

Alt Tumblr: @eelblazes (CURRENTLY MUTUALS ONLY) TIMES I HAVE HIT POST LIMIT: 11

https://linktr.ee/transbeeduo (I also have a Discord, which Mutuals are free to ask/dm for!)

I'm primarily a MCYTBLR blogger! I mostly tend to stick to the DSMP side of things, although I'll often post about OSMP and QSMP, and occasionally dabble in other MCYT related fandoms! Along with that I post about Five Nights At Freddy's, Pokémon, or whatever else I'm interested in at the time!

TAGGING SYSTEM

Crunch's Nibbles: Used for just my little ramblings, and not any significant stuff

Crunch's Bites: Used for more significant, longer posts. Usually analysis or like me just making a fucking paragraph about C!Bee Duo or something

Crunch's Chomps: Headcanons!! These r going to be more for like. Posts that are dedicated headcanon sharing posts, like my headcanons about how I imagine DSMP is like post-finale. (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ANY TRIGGER TAGS PUT IN THESE POSTS BECAUSE DARK/POSSIBLY TRIGGERING CONTENT IS DISCUSSED IN DETAIL IN SOME OF THESE)

My Art/Asks: I'm putting these together because they're pretty self-explanatory. But it's art I make and asks I receive! (Feel free to send me asks! I love getting them always!)

SYSTEM TAGS (Not used super often due to mostly just being me here)

⛏️ : Posts from C!Crunch (NOT Crunch Transbeeduo!! Two different people!)

🎸: Posts from Monty (Montgomery Gator Fictive)

📼: Posts from Cassette/Cass (Generation Loss/CC!Ranboo Factive. DON'T FUCKING NOTIFY RANBOOLIVE ABOUT THEM BTW DON'T DO THAT SHIT)

🪓: Posts from Ares/Techno (DSMP/OSMP Technoblade fictive)

📺: Posts from Lolbit (Lolbit Fictive)

🎁: Posts from Oleander/FMAN (FMAN122 Fictive)

🔥: Posts from Pyro/Sapnap/Saps (C!Sapnap Fictive)

🌋: Posts from Groudon (C!Tubbo/Groudon/Q!Tubbo fictive)

Anything not tagged: Almost always Crunch Transbeeduo! Just assume it's them!

(LINKS TO A PRONOUNS.CC PAGE WITH MORE INFORMATION COMING EVENTUALLY)

I quite like every DSMP character, so they'll all tend to show up on this blog, but the most discussed here are C!Beeduo (if it wasn't obvious), along with Michael + my Fankids for them! (Found under "#Bug Posts" and "#Wizard Posts") but I also quite like The Eggpire/Badlands, The Syndicate, and Las Nevadas!

For OSMP I'm usually going to stick to O!Beeduo, while for QSMP I'm quite a fan of Q!Tubbo and Q!BBH! (I don't watch QSMP, only really absorb it through the dash! I do have plans to watch it soon though!)

(Credits for these!)

CC Banner: @////tmmyhug (X added by me)

Beeduo Banner: @////cannosoup

Loves Beeduo: @////thedialup

Technoblade, Sootings, and Parasocial Blinkies: @////block-toad

Michael Feed: @////doodlebloo

Genloss Banner @////Pathtrick

Tommy/Tubbo/Phil: @////Offishly

QSMP Eggs + Theory/Analysis Blinkie: @////etoilesbienne

Alliumduo/Peerpressureduo Banners: @////theenderwalker

Koraidon Banner:@///sweetpeauserboxes

Quackcicle/Ranboo Banners: ???? (Couldn't find the OP, if anyone knows please tell me!)

All other banners: Mine!

BOUNDARIES/BYF UNDER CUT (please read!!):

If it's not incredibly obvious, I do NOT want you here if you support the CC! DTeam or William Gold/Wilbur Soot. Get outta here go. Scram

I AM NOT A CC SHIPPER, I AM NOT SHIPPING REAL PEOPLE NOR DO I CARE FOR SHIPPING REAL PEOPLE IN A SERIOUS MANNER. Everything I say shipping/headcanon wise is about FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

I block somewhat liberally!!!!! Please do not follow me if ur under 15, I post suggestive things on here sometimes!

PLEASE ask if something I discuss needs Content/Trigger warnings!

I'm not the best with words, or articulating the things I'm thinking about really well. If I say something that doesn't make sense or is confusing I'm sorry.

Please do not be weird in my Inbox. Don't ask me about discourse, don't spam me or ask me to follow you or promote your things, don't like be weird to ME. (Also please don’t ask me anything personal, I am uncomfortable sharing that kind of information online)

I AM NOT A DISCOURSE BLOG!!!!!!! I'll discuss it sometimes but that's just because I like being a hater sometimes. Don't treat me as a discourse blog

PLEASE don't send me C!Beeduo /neg shit unprompted, or if you do at least tell me it is.

#not putting this in the main part but remember this IS still my blog so like. if its not for you dont get mad at me #if i missed or phrased anything wrong im gonna scream #pinned post #blinking animation #blinking gif

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frannyzooey · 10 months

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If you had any advice for someone new to posting fics, what would it be?

I am absolutely jaw dropped, crying on the floor in love with your writing, and it’s inspired me to start writing again. I’m sure you hear that all the time, lol.

But I’m so anxious about putting work out there, and the idea that it may not be liked, or even seen. Which, like, is hard because I know no one owes me anything! and there are so many incredible writers out there! I guess what I’m trying to say is - what is the best way to become a part of the community, and not the creeper breathing breath on the glass window looking into the party?

You’re genuinely so kind to all of your followers and readers, I would just love to pick your brain a little!

Thank you for everything you give to us. 🫶🏻

FIRST - get over here and tuck yourself under my arm ❤ feel the squeeze I am giving you, in both welcome and reassurance! ❤

This ask couldn't be better timed because I was literally just having a conversation with @astroboots today about how I feel like tumblr is a safe space for sharing my writing, but I am absolutely petrified about sharing it any other place. The thought of even talking about my writing out loud makes me want to curl up and hide my face, and even on this platform, I still get anxious sometimes. The Dinner, recently, was a good example of that - I was beyond nervous to post that one.

All this to say: you are not alone ❤

This fandom can be utterly terrifying because of the 1) sheer amount of talent but more so, 2) the sheer amount of content. It's being constantly created, even more with Pedro becoming bigger these days and it's so fucking intimidating even thinking about tossing your fic into the literal OCEAN that exists.

On one hand, an argument could be made that it's actually easier to post because of those reasons, but it's also legit anxiety producing in many, many ways.

The thing that I always say about writing is: find your people. Reach out to people you admire through reblogs, send them asks, pop into their DMs. Share and spread their work, their art, their gifs. Find one or two or ten that seem like they would vibe with you and connect! Because once you have your people in your corner, cheering you on, it becomes fun to post thinking about them reading it.

Instead of thinking of this place like the ocean, think of your curated corner like a little tide pool and your mutuals like little cheerleading starfishes. It's so much easier to share things when you know they will be accepted and supported by people, so start there! You're right in that no one owes you anything, but I am a HUGE supporter of not only writing for yourself, but writing for the seven (7) targeted people you love the most. The ones you know are going to scream in your DMs about it, the ones who helped you brainstorm, the ones who beta read and held you on their shoulders for a lap of victory after you hit post. THOSE people are who you post for (in addition to yourself.)

I (frequently) get pretty freaked out about the size of this fandom and get anxiety when it comes to the rapid upload of content - if you've ever seen me put on my "Out of Office", that's usually why...but thinking of this place as a condensed little bubble can really help ❤

That's exactly how I did it, and how I continue to do it! When I posted my first piece of writing EVER three years ago, I had 8 followers and one serious friend on here. ONE. But that ONE person gave me all the hype I needed to share, and even though my hands were shaking when I hit post, I was.....okay, because I knew they were there with open arms, ready to receive it. ❤

Second, we are ALL the creeper breathing on the glass, looking into the party - every single one of us. I can go on and on (and on and on, seriously, I have so many thoughts on this) about how this is a social media site and how that affects you psychologically for hours, but I don't want to bore you, lol. The best part about there being so many of us though is that...there are so many of us! You are bound to find your people. ❤

If you are scared, DM me. I would love nothing more than to cheer you on. This place has been such a safe haven for me, the only way I can even begin to pay that back is to pass it on.

OH - and EXCUSE YOU, I do not have people telling me that all the time! Holy shit?? I wish you could have been the soft ass look on my face when I got this ask, because that's just about the nicest thing someone has ever said to me, literally. I could kiss you on the mouth. Me? Inspiring you? I am BLUSHING.

Squeezing you EVEN TIGHTER AS I TALKED - do you feel the love, nonnie? 😍❤🥰 Congrats on beginning writing again - I am so FUCKING proud of you and WELCOME!!

#DM me WHENEVER #I love talking to anyone and everyone ❤

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lcvegrows · 11 months

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plotting call...

hello! it’s been a while since i’ve posted in the tags so here i am. i’m (21+) and i’m looking for serious writing partners for discord. please take a look through my post, read thouroughly & then if you’re interested go ahead and like this post or send me a dm so we can talk ♡

under the cut you’ll find some more information & plots i’d be interested in writing :)

for starters i’ll always be up for creating oc’s & plotting! i do tend to be a descriptive writer, but reply length varies depending on what we’re writing and where my head is at, though i’ll never fall short and only send one or two sentences, that’s definitely not my style. as far as shipping goes i don’t have a preference i’m open to them all. as of late my preference has been f/m but i’m always open to doing new stuff, as long as it’s with cool partners.

current interests include (but are not limited to): stranger things (i’m dying to write against an eddie, or steve), historical plots- with a special interest leading into like 60′s & 70′s rock’n roll culture. i’d love to write a plot surrounding a rockstar/groupie relationship. anything with horror themes is awesome, i have a special place in my heart for all things stephen king but really anything spooky would be cool. anything with angst would be amazing as well. basically i’m open to anything though so hit me up with your ideas or most wanted plots. smutty plots are always welcomed too as long as it’s not 100% smut focused, i’d want it to at least be 50/50 with actual character building and world building.

full-disclosure, i’m 28 years old so my writing partner needs to be at least 21+ in age. this is for my comfort as well as being based on the fact that there will likely be adult themes discussed as well as taking place in any writing that i’m doing. i’m comfortable with writing darker themes & smut, so it’s an added bonus if my partners are cool with it as well. if you have any specific triggers that you would like to avoid please let me know ahead of time when we’re plotting, i never want to make anyone uncomfortable ever.

if you took the time to read this and are interested in writing with me, give this post a like & i’ll slide into the dm’s, or you can send me a dm! we can chat here or on discord about our ideas! thank you and hopefully ttyl 😋

#discord rp #discord 1x1 #1x1 rp #indie rp #discord 1x1 rp

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narcolepsy-moments · 2 years

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Pined Post

Hi there, welcome to my blog! If you’re here, you probably either have narcolepsy, know someone with narcolepsy, or just are curious and want to learn more about it. No matter the reason, I’m glad to have you here! Please take a quick read through this post and have a good day :D

last updated: 10/1/2022

About This Blog

I made this blog because despite looking several times, I couldn’t find any narcolepsy focused blogs on tumblr! Maybe I just wasn’t looking in the right places, but I decided to fix that. This blog exists both as a space to educate non-narcoleptics about narcolepsy and as a place for narcoleptics to share their experiences with each other.

I have no dni, anyone is welcome here as long as you are not harming others in any way, take that as you will. HOWEVER, in interacting with this blog you agree to be respectful to any others who may be interacting. If you don’t agree with the opinions of someone, block and move on. This is a discourse* free zone. *(this does not apply to things such as racism or homophobia. if you are racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc, your ideas are actively harming others. You are not welcome here and will be blocked) This blog supports educated self-diagnosis

Askbox is always open, please feel free to send in questions you have about narcolepsy/your own experiences with narcolepsy anytime! I would love to hear from you!! + feel free to dm me any narcolepsy related posts you’d like me to reblog here, whether its serious or a shitpost!

About The Mod

I am an adult college student, you can refer to me however you see fit.

Diagnosed with narcolepsy type-2 and chronic fatigue caused by narcolepsy in early 2022. I have several other mental health issues + neurodivergencies + chronic illnesses, since they aren’t super relevant to this blog I will not be listing them here, but don’t be shocked if I mention one of them in a post sometime.

I am not a doctor, all information on this blog are things i have learned from my own experiences, my sleep specialist, speaking to others with narcolepsy, and my own research. While i am not a doctor as of now, i am currently studying to hopefully make researching narcolepsy my career!

With all that said, I certainly don’t know everything about narcolepsy, and I am always 100% open to being educated/corrected on anything by other narcoleptics!! In fact I am encouraging it, More than anything I just really want to learn and help others to learn as well :)

Miscellaneous

I will try my absolute best to make this blog accessible to everyone, but please please let me know if theres anything more i can do!! Due to memory issues, sometimes I forget to write an image description for a post I make/reblog. If you ever see that happen, shoot me an ask or a message! While I try my best to write helpful image descriptions, I am absolutely not perfect. If there’s any way I can improve on any of my image descriptions, please please let me know!!

For the most part, this blog runs off a queue. If I reblog your post and you would like me to take it down for any reason, please shoot me a message! I am always more then happy to do so

All posts on this blog are free to reblog

[Everything below will eventually have a post linked to it as soon as i get around to making them. If you have other suggestions to posts you think should be linked here, please let me know!]

Taglist

updated 10/1/2022

What is Narcolepsy?

Resources

#pinned post #important #narcolepsy

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thelocalmuffin · 1 year

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Welcome! 2023 Edition

I'm Ellory/Muffin, and I'm part of the Bakery system. I'm a writer and zine creator who works almost all the time, so my activity is a bit sporadic. This is a multi-fandom blog, but you'll also see memes, personal posts and political stuff here.

This isn’t a DNI post or anything like that, this is just an introduction post. So, hello! There's more about the blog and what I do in the read below.

Writing: I mostly write, so please feel free to check out my AO3. You can also check out the tag #muffin writes for more short stories/direct links to stories.

It’s mostly Ace Attorney, but I'm dipping into other fandoms and other franchises I enjoy. Either way, I hope you find something you like. If you're looking for something specific, let me know and I'll see if I can recommend you something.

As a side note, I'm way too busy for requests but will occasionally open them when I have the time. Though, I really like doing trades. If you’re willing to do that, I’m way more likely to take your request.

Zine Stuff:

My zine portfolio is here!

Note: This will update often.

I do reblog some promotional stuff for my zine projects. I'm proud of what I’ve done and want to let people know what I've accomplished. Though, I'll always tag the name of the zine to make it a bit easier to organize.

Tags you might want to filter:

Muffin Speaks-personal tag Political-political tag

I know some people are here for escapism and that’s no issue with me. Just keep in mind I do also tag serious topics such as ableism, transphobia, and other themes if they are discussed in the post. If you need something tagged, just let me know.

Some stuff you might want to know about talking to me:

I do have my ask box open, but I do not respond to anon hate. It will be deleted and you will just have wasted your time. I understand criticism is necessary for growth, but sending derogatory messages won’t really get the point across.

I don’t mind DMs to talk, but please keep in mind I am very socially awkward and shy. Oh, and my response time is very slow. As I said, I’m a busy bee.

If you want to be mutuals or friends, just give me some time to warm up to it but you are welcome to ask. Thank you for understanding.

That was a bit longer than I meant it to be, but I hope you enjoy your stay!

#welcome post #pinned post #muffin speaks #I really have needed to update this for a bit

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prideraiised · 1 year

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RULES FOR MOBILE

REGARDING REPLIES This blog is selective. This means that I reserve the right to not follow you back. Obviously this is nothing personal, but in that scenario please don’t like starter calls or anything that states ‘mutuals only’ in either the post itself or the tags. Replies might take a while from time to time. This is almost always just a matter of low motivation or muse and not an issue with you as an individual. Keeping the above in mind, please don’t pester me for replies unless its been at least a week. Again, it’s nothing personal if replies are late but its both incredibly rude and incredibly annoying if I’m constantly pestered. In general I have a preference for multi-para threads when it comes to ‘serious’ interactions. Obviously this will vary depending on the nature of the interaction itself but for the most part you can expect that from me. Saying that, you are free to reply at whatever length you feel comfortable with so long as you don’t give a single sentence reply. You’re welcome to tag me in starters or send random asks whenever you like! I always welcome interaction. It goes without saying that no art is owned by me. Due to the sheer quantity of icons that will be displayed on this blog I wont have a dedicated source page as I feel it would get hard to navigate, however if you ever want the source for something specific please feel free to DM me and I’ll provide it. REGARDING NSFW. Nsfw content may be present on this blog in all its forms (18+ content, gore, violence, mature themes) etc etc, all of the above content will be appropriately tagged. All mature content in the form of smut however will never pass one post if that before I will request it be moved to another location such as Discord. It goes without saying that smut is only available for muses that are of age. REGARDING OCS Given the fact that my presence in MHA is almost entirely OC focused it goes without saying that I’m pretty open to OC’s. That said, I’d really prefer it if there was something on your blog to give me an idea about what your OC is about. In regards to the above rule though, I may be lenient with this as given the sheer quantity of OC’s present on this blog I do understand how time consuming getting all that information down can be. REGARDING SHIPPING I am of course a tumblr rper and as such a fan of shipping to an unhealthy degree, so if you ever want to ship our muses you’re welcome to hop into dm’s and bring it up (I heavily encourage it) With the above statement in mind, I won’t ship with anybody right off the bat. Usually before I ever consider shipping I need to test the waters with the person I'm writing with before anything else since I don’t believe writing any dynamic is fun if the writers themselves do not get along. The option to pre-estab ships if you’d like is there for certain muses such as Sayaka Maizono and Makoto Naegi Danganronpa (as an example) however again, I’d usually prefer to talk a bit OOC before this is put into effect. Saying all this if its a bit of a shitpost interaction whatever man goes nuts go crazy lmao. REGARDING EVERYTHING ELSE Discord is of course open to mutuals as are dms, however in regards to discord, same with shipping I’d prefer to interact a little OOC before I give that out. I’ll do my best to tag triggers however every so often one might slip past me, if that's the case please feel free to dm me to tag it or just shoot an anon and I’ll get that fixed.

#⪼ ooc ⪻#INFO.

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riaki · 7 months

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RULES ( BYI / DNI ) hey, it’s nice to see you here ! please take note of these things first… :)

— interacting

to reiterate, i am a minor. i’m sfw + i dont mind who interacts/follows but please keep this in mind to avoid complications !

that being said, i do not write 18+/nsfw. some of my works may have suggestive content but that's it. if you're uncomfortable w/ that but still want to view content block the tag # - rs !

plsplspls communicate ! im dense so if for any reason you have an issue and/or want to break mutual, please send me a dm to let me know beforehand otherwise it just leads to avoidable misunderstanding and confusion on my end

^ this also goes if you're uncomfortable with me interacting w/ you or your content

warning -> block

strictly nsfw/mdni blogs can follow but should have a set tag for nsfw to filter before i can follow back

criticism is welcome but please be polite !!

if we’re not already mutuals please feel free to ask ! dm/inbox is fine

please check out my carrd ! always linked under my name in pinned

i block spam likers (5+ if ur not following)

all the serious stuff outta the way i'm always open to chat !! feel free to send me any thoughts or just ramble… my inbox is always always open to u pretties

— request rules

no nsfw - it'll just be trashed. if ur not sure whether it counts just send n i'll respond appropriately

slightly suggestive reqs are okay- same guideline for above

i do gn / fem reader only

i try to post every weekend but i don't have a schedule when it comes to requests

if i don't want to do your ask for whatever reason i'll respond privately n let you know

please don't spam my inbox! give me time and i'll get to your ask

lovely mooties r always welcome :3

p.s. i might accidentally unfollow u by misclick or tumblr glitches so if i do and we’re moots please let me know! if i haven’t said anything to u it’s not intentional . lest this happen

my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !

#i totally knew what a softblock was wdym. shhh #nav.#rules #but is it ever that serious #yes. sometimes #not doing softblocks anymore cus they honestly just don’t seem very smart to me n confuse people :l

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ear-worthy · 10 months

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Season Finale of “Spotify: Mic Check” — South African Amapiano Artist Tyla

Spotify saved the best for last on its season finale this week of “Spotify: Mic Check.” In this episode, we learn about Amapaino music, which is a Zulu or Xhosa word loosely translated to “the pianos”, is a subgenre of house and Kwaito music that emerged in South Africa in the mid-2010s. It is a hybrid of deep house, jazz, and lounge music characterized by synths and wide percussive bass lines.

In this episode, listeners will head overseas to South Africa to learn more about South African Amapiano artist Tyla whose sound fuses pop, classic R&B, and African Beats.

You can listen to the full episode here.

Tyla discusses her beginnings in South Africa, her DM to Drake, the pivotal moment when she almost gave up on music, working with accomplished producers like Tricky Stewart and Kooldrink, the impact of joining Spotify’s RADAR program in Africa and sharing a sneak peek of her new single, “Water.”

RADAR is Spotify’s program created to spotlight up-and-coming music talent — allowing them an opportunity to broaden their fanbase and supporting them in their path to superstardom through comprehensive marketing, content, and editorial campaigns.

Available to stream for free exclusively on Spotify, please see below for interview highlights in the episode.

Tyla on growing up in South Africa. “… I always wanted to actually grow up in America. When I was younger, I just always thought, ‘If I were born in America, I would have been famous by now,’ and all of these things. But I mean, now that I’m older, I just realized how amazing my childhood was. Just like the culture, the music, the food, the people. Yeah, South Africa is amazing. I still believe that everyone needs to visit South Africa at least once in their life.” Tyla on sending one of her earliest songs to Drake via direct message on social media. “Literally, when my first song started doing well, I unsent the message. I was like, ‘There’s no way he’s seen this small little girl on his phone singing.’ So no, he hasn’t. But I have a feeling one day soon he’s going to reach out.”

Tyla on what makes a song fit into the Amapiano genre. “I feel like it’s a genre that grew over time. There are definitely roots in Kwaito and jazz, South African house. But I feel the thing that makes it Amapiano is that log drum. The log drum that just slams you, like, I feel that’s what makes Amapiano.”

Tyla on why she believes her first single, “Getting Late,” resonated with so many people globally. “You know, I was actually so surprised. Initially, I was just like, ‘I like the song and hope it does well.’ And then, when people from America, Europe, and all of those people started jumping on, I was so shocked. I was like, ‘Why? Okay, this is cool.’ I feel the dancing, the song, the music video. I feel like it just made a whole package for everyone to consume, and then they just loved it, I guess.”

Tyla on working with famed music producer Tricky Stewart who has worked with the likes of Beyoncé and Rihanna. “Crazy. Like, when I heard that I was going to work with him, I was like, ‘You guys are lying. You guys are literally lying.’ But then we met, and he’s such a good person. Such a nice person. I always imagine these hectic producers to be serious, you know? But he’s just so fun and he was very welcoming. And I don’t know, I just love working with him because you can see his passion for music. So, yeah, just the fact that he worked with Rihanna, with Beyoncé, all these different artists. I was just so grateful to even be there.”

Tyla on being a featured artist in Spotify’s RADAR Africa program. “Yo, the opportunities that I’ve been given, like billboards and a documentary that’s coming out soon — I’m excited about it! My whole family was in it. They keep asking me every day, “When can we watch the video? When can we watch the video?” I’m just so happy that Spotify was able to do this for me because, I mean, it’s a huge opportunity. And yeah, I’m excited to see how much further we can go with it.”

You can listen to the full episode here.

#podcast #podcasting #music #south africa #amapiano

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hanabiira · 1 year

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Rules

Hi! I’m Bunny. I’m 29. I like cake, dogs, and Pokémon.

Expect my activity to be sporadic. I can’t guarantee how often and how much I will be on here specifically, as I work full time and have a life outside the internet. I am very easily reached through discord and IM.

This blog was created on October 27, 2013

General

This blog is Selective and Private meaning: I ONLY RP WITH MUTUALS.

THIS BLOG IS 18+ AS ADULT CONTENT WILL BE PRESENT ON THIS BLOG!

I am not comfortable rp-ing with people under the age of 18. It is not my age group and there are plenty of people here for you that are. This is nothing personal.

If you follow me and I find out you are under 18 I will soft block you, if you continue to follow it will result in a hard block. Sorry!

Don’t take this as some indication that my blog is just full of flagrant adult content, but it does come up and I’m just not comfortable having minors be able to access it if I can help it.

Crossovers are welcome if I know the fandom. Please don’t be offended if I turn you down because it’s something I’m not familiar with!

This blog is mostly SFW, if there is anything NSFW it will be tagged.

Please reblog replies as text posts and don’t forget to cut your posts!

All posts are in character unless otherwise stated (;ooc)

I am forgetful so you can remind me to reply to something if I haven’t sent a reply in a while, please don’t pester me though!

Hate will not be tolerated. If I find you are instigating any sort of hate or drama you will be unfollowed. This includes call out posts for anything other than real serious things! I am old and tired and don’t care about interpersonal drama.

Zero tolerance for any of your run of the mill shitty stuff, you know, racism, homophobia, transphobia, abuse, etc, etc.

RP Style

Frankly I like all sorts of interaction. Long, short, whatever floats your boat.

If you would like a specific plot do not hesitate to pop into my DMs. You can also tag any starter for me as well!

Please no godmodding, if that happens I will drop the rp.

If you want to interact and you don’t know what to do, send a meme. I find continuing from those are quite natural.

Following

If I can see our characters interacting, I’ll follow back.

If I follow you it means I want to RP!

I will unfollow inactive blogs (but will always re-follow once you return!) or blogs that post a lot of ooc content or frankly if I’m simply not vibing with your content any more. Again, it’s not personal and I hope you’re having a good time.

I generally don’t follow RP blogs for fandoms I’m unfamiliar with.

I don’t follow personals.

I don’t follow for a follow.

Shipping

I didn’t come to rp just for my character to become involved with someone, please don’t force a ship.

This blog is multiship.

NSFW

I like smut! But not just for the sake of smut. I like it to have meaning to whatever story we're building with our characters. My muse is not the type of character to jump right into that sort of thing immediately.

Will not RP smut with anyone under 18, you shouldn’t be following me anyways. If you turn out to by lying about your age you will be blocked. I obviously will not smut with any underage characters or characters who are minors “aged up” just for smutting purposes.

NSFW will always be tagged, but not put under a readmore because it is a pain in the ass with all the changes that tumblr has rolled out.

My NSFW tag is simply ‘nsfw//‘

Triggering material is highly unlikely to appear on this blog but if subjects such as g*re, ab*se, r*pe or anything under that umbrella happen to appear it will be tagged. Anything else will not. If something bothers you on this blog please approach me politely and I will try my best to accommodate you.

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solarwonux · 3 years

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Payment Due! || Jeon Wonwoo (2/7)

Pairing: Camboy!Wonwoo x f!reader || sex worker au!

w.c: 10.2k

Genre: 18+, smut, fluff, angst

Warnings: exhibitionism, mutual masterbation, dirty talk, wonwoo has a belly piercing you’re welcome!

Synopsis: HYBE U one of the top highly prestigious universities in the country. A shithole, a total money making scam that liked to sucked the life out of its students. Not being able to meet the funds to pay for your tuition your best friend lets you in a little secret. A way he’s been keeping afloat for years now, easy money. The problem is you want in.

note: WOW, I’m speechless over the feedback I got for this fic, especially cause this was just a spur in the moment type of thing. THANK YOU!!! With that being said I’m opening up a tag list for future chapters. So if you want to be added send me an ask plss or dm. Thank I hope you enjoy this one, hang in tight cause its a roller coaster. LMK your thoughts please. Thank you.xxx

Masterlist || prev || next

Wonwoo’s impressed with how well you’re taking everything that it almost scares him. Knowing that you were the type of person to weigh out the pros and cons at least three times before making a decision, especially one of this magnitude. It doesn’t sit well with him when he meets with you after his last class on Friday at the campus cafe, with a giddy smile on your face, bright eyes and full on outline named: The Cam-Chronicles.

He rolls his eyes.

He didn’t think that when you left his place on Wednesday after the whole ordeal went down that you were actually seriously taking him up on the offer to join him. The second he closed his door he felt panicked because he was sure everything had suddenly gone down hill. It didn’t get better when you ignored his ‘goodnight’ text and his invitation to hang out in celebration of a successful presentation the next day.

Now he knows why. As the color coded outline with the added spreadsheet, labeling different sex positions, sex toys and their rankings staring back at him in horror. You were so serious and that it scared him because all the perceptions he had of you growing up flew out the window.

“Wait, so you’re really serious about this?” Wonwoo asks, this was his third time asking in the span of fifteen minutes. You couldn’t blame him, this was one hundred percent out of character and you were so close to just backing out entirely. But you already had weighed out the pros and cons of it the entire five minute elevator ride up to your floor, noting that there were more cons than pros. You almost called him and told him you couldn’t go through with it. Then the sudden buzz of your phone came in. The notification that Wonwoo had sent your share of what you had made through the family and friends feature on Paypal.

In one night you had made twice as much as you would make with your two jobs combined. It was like all your desperate prayers were answered in one single night and you didn’t even have to do much. You felt your heart pick up forgetting about the list of cons you had made in your head and immediately got to work the second you stepped foot in your apartment.

If you were going to go through with it then you needed at least a formal plan. And that involved well thought out research - cosmopolitan articles, buzzfeed articles, wikipedia the whole nine yards - a color coded outline and the dreaded spreadsheet.

“Would I have gone through all this trouble if I wasn’t serious?” You scoff, crossing your arms in front of you as you lean back into the teal colored booth chair. Your best friend really underestimated you sometimes. The greatest offense in your opinion.

Wonwoo stared at the outline, bottom lip making its way in between his lips. He couldn’t lie it was a damn good outline. The reason he would always beg you to make one for him before every big paper of his. But was this whole situation really that serious for you to produce such a thing. He had been doing it for three years now - alone - and didn’t think much of it. Just followed what his body wanted to feel and hear. Then he clicked over the ‘income’ tab of the spreadsheet, his eyes widened in shock as a bunch of numbers and calculations stared back at him. You never voluntarily did this much math unless it was to figure out how many words you needed in order to fill the minimum word count requirement. Even then it wasn’t as intricate and organized as this.

Split into four weeks, give or take. A rough estimate of how many viewers you would have, as well as how many tips you would make in one night, divided into two. And then at the end of the month the added total of the four weeks. This was too much. Your too much gene had involuntarily taken over and now he wasn’t scared, no he was downright terrified.

“Okay I think we need to set some ground rules.” Wonwoo says warily and closes your laptop. He rests his hands on top of it. “First, calm down and really think about this, like really really really think about this. This is not a game, it’s sex work and sometimes sex work can be dangerous. I wasn’t always as lucky as I am now.” He pauses and takes your hand in his.

“When I first started out, two people on different occasions found out where I lived through my IP address because I stupidly didn’t protect it at first. It was two months of cryptic life threatening messages and me trying to figure out how to report them to the police without flat out saying I was selling sex on the internet for profit. All I’m saying is that I don’t want you to go through anything like that or worse, because what will happen to me if I lose the one person that’s never turned their back on me.” He finishes, resting his chin on top of your enclosed hands.

You sigh and look around the almost empty cafe. It was Friday so no one usually stayed on campus after their last class. Unless they were you and Wonwoo. The two of you basically lived there getting free coffee from your barista friend Yoongi. A secret the two of you would take to the grave.

Wonwoo had a point. Amongst your research, you had stumbled upon articles that painted the bad side of caming, especially when it came to girls. There wasn’t much about men but you figured if people got as obsessive to the point of committing crimes when it came to cam girls, the same thing could happen to cam boys as well. It was sad and somewhat disheartening, but if you were going to sell your body on the internet you needed to know what you were getting yourself into. And that included the not so pretty stories.

“I know what I’m getting myself into. I’ve thought about this and only this for the past two days. But this is my last resort Wonwoo, this is literally my last option. I need this.” You sigh and rest your chin on top of your arm so you’re at eye level with him. “I’m scared but I’m not as scared I would be if I was doing this alone. And I hate that I have to even say that because I shouldn’t depend on you so much...It’s just, I don’t know what else to do.”

It breaks Wonwoo’s heart to see you so small and defeated. To him you have always been a beacon of light and hope. You were the one person he knew he could count on if things went to shit, because he knew you would always be there for him no matter what. And seeing how this place had your lungs filled with water, slowly sucking the light of your eyes; angers him but it also shatters his heart in to pieces. He knew that going down this road wasn’t ideal, and he wasn’t sure if at the end of the day you would be able to handle it. Hell he barely had. But that decision wasn’t his to make, so the only thing he could do is stay by your side until you made it. That’s if you ever did.

“Fine, but I’m serious we need to set some ground rules.” He pauses and lifts his head. “Things may get slightly easier from here on out financially, but I know how much of a toll this can take on a person, so forget the outline and spreadsheets for now. We need some well established rules.”

You look over the plain word document, cringing at how boring it looks, fighting the urge to add a few accent colors here and there. The rules were simple enough, only five of them, so far:

1. Consent = Always.

2. Both parties can engage in any sexual activity with one another as long as everything is consensual and safe.

“That’s the same thing I wrote for number one.” Wonwoo said before highlighting the entirety of number two and erasing it. Writing these five rules had taken a lot longer than you had expected. Yoongi had already approached your table telling you the cafe was closing in half an hour. And the two of you had been there, sitting in the same booth, two caramel macchiato and iced americano’s in since four.

“No, mine’s longer and I added the word safe.”You cross your arms in front of you and tap your fingers on top of the table. If nothing had ever been able to come between the two of you. You were almost positive it would be this.

“Isn’t that like a given though?” He shakes his head and presses the return button, making the rule in question appear again. He would never be able to win against you. You harbored this strange ability to come up with a convincing argument for trivial things, and the last thing he wanted was to be at the receiving end of one of those. Again.

“Whatever number three.” He said, putting a pensive hand underneath his chin.

Your eyes light up as you take your laptop back again, leaving him empty handed.

3. Change of scenery.

You hit enter and hand your laptop back to him. “I can’t sit on your lap forever. It was fun the first time, but Joshua told me you’ve been skipping leg day at the gym so I’m not sure how long your thighs can hold me up.” You smirk, poking your tongue to the side of your cheek.

“I skipped it once, a month ago because I had to finish a paper, and now he doesn’t let me live it down.” He mumbles angrily before typing a number, “Anyway, if sitting on my lap is too much of a hassle for you then I can just bring in another chair.” He shrugs and taps his fingers against your keyboard. Thinking.

You push the screen of your laptop down, enough to reveal his face. “Nope, I literally mean a change of scenery. We can move your gaming set up into the spare bedroom at my place and make it all cute and aesthetically pleasing for our viewers. It can also help set the vibe. Ya know, dim lights and a bed.” You smile and flick his forehead lightly.

He should’ve known. You never did anything half-assed, it’s one of the main reasons he always got good scores on his papers. If it wasn’t for you, he would’ve flunked out years ago. He hated writing with every single bone in his body.

“Whatever, fine, but does it have to be a rule?” He tilts his head, pushing your laptop screen back up and reading over number three again. The rule felt more like a passion project of yours after your roommate moved out last month. An excuse to finally go out with the old and in with the new.

“Yes.”

Wonwoo doesn’t question it any further and starts typing number four.

4. Wonwoo can come over to play games at any time on any day, no questions asked or complaining.”

He smirks and hands the laptop back to you for you to read. “Nope, that’s not a rule.” You quickly press the backspace and start typing. Wonwoo whines and kicks his foot up like a child who just got denied candy before bed.

“Not fair, how come ‘change of scenery’ can be a rule but me wanting to game to de-stress can’t be one.”

“I was never going to deny you access to my place, idiot. And you spend half of your time on my couch then you do on yours. So it’s a given, therefore, not a rule.” You say mapping it out for him in the air, with your index finger. He huffs and crosses his arms in front of him, slouching in his seat. He mumbles a quiet ‘fine you win,’ as you return to typing.

4. Exploration of kinks and use of sex toys is allowed, as long as both parties are in verbal agreement.

“How many of these do we need anyway?” He sits up and grabs your laptop again, reading over rule number four and nodding in agreement.

“As many as we need.”

Wonwoo pauses his fingers for a second before hitting enter and adds the fifth rule. The most important one. At least in his eyes before turning the laptop screen to face you.

“I think that’s pretty self explanatory.” You roll your eyes, taking your laptop from him. “Remember that one time we actually tried to date because our mom’s wanted us too and we barely lasted two days.” You hit the back space until the entire line numbered as five is empty.

Wonwoo shakes his head and takes your laptop away from you, typing once again.

5. Catching feeling’s = big no, everything = platonic.

“Yeah well I know that. But that was different and this is different too. We aren’t fifteen anymore, we are twenty-four and we’re being a lot more intimate with each other.” He hits and hands you your laptop again.

“I guess you're right.” You shrug and bite your lip, reading over the rules cautiously. Letting your mind run through the files in your head and the three pros and cons list you made on Wednesday. You almost click ‘save’ before the light bulb on top of your head lights up and you’re back to typing.

6. Under no circumstances is either party allowed to show their face on camera.

You knew that there were certain sex postions in which, showing your face was rather inevitable. But that was exactly the reason why you had created a spreadsheet ranking each of the well known positions. The semi safe one’s to be done on camera at the top of the list while the ones that were definitely a big no at the bottom. Forty-six in total. Either way you weren’t sure if either of you would actually be engaging in sex. Like key in the hole type of sex. Mainly because Wonwoo hadn’t bothered to read the outline, but also you weren’t sure if that was a step you wanted to take with him yet. Maybe later when you were more comfortable with the camera and the new added bonus of your friendship with Wonwoo.

Wonwoo takes your laptop and reads it over, makes a noise of acknowledgement, eyes blown wide in realization as he starts typing fast. He didn’t want you to make the same mistake he had made a few months ago when his horny brain clouded his judgment and he started a rather intimate relationship with a viewer of his. The guy was far older than him and married, but hotter than any of the campus crushes he had ever laid eyes on. Wonwoo didn’t think much of it at first. Enjoyed the meaningless relationship, maybe a little too much than he liked to admit. Until his sexting buddy started getting way too obsessive and possessive. Demanding Wonwoo to stop streaming, in which of course he declined.

No one knew. He continued going on about his life as if he wasn’t ruining a fifteen year marriage. Like he hadn’t spent weeks going in and out of court to file a restraining order on the guy after he showed up unannounced to one of his lab classes, eyes full of anger and control. It was something he wanted to forget. Forget that for the first time in his life, his mistakes had almost cost him his life. Which is why he tried his hardest to get you to back out earlier. If he was barely able to protect himself, then how was he supposed to protect you.

Which is why rule number seven was the now top of the list of the most important rules:

7. DO NOT engage with any viewers privately = not safe!

“I think we are done.” He sits back and pushes the laptop in your direction. You skim through the file, humming along as you read all seven rules silently in your head. It was a habit you did, to make sure things made sense.

“Wait, didn't you send one of your viewers a nude once?” You question tilting your head to the side, giving him a curious look. Your memory wasn’t as faulty as you sometimes made it out to be. You clearly remember that being mentioned in passing by one of the viewers on Wednesday. Though you knew not to do it. You weren’t as impulsive as Wonwoo was sometimes. You couldn’t help but wonder if something serious had happened as a result of that.

“Jeonghan works with Yoongi. I didn’t know he watched my streams until we had sex at a frat party before graduation.” He waves you off before shutting your laptop and standing up. “He’s the only one I’ve ever sent nudes to, who also happens to watch my streams. No one else so don’t think about it.’

He says sternly, picking up your laptop, walking towards the entrance, waving at Yoongi who was sitting on top of the bar scrolling through his phone. The realization hits you too late. You’re barely out of your seat and Wonwoo is two feet out the door. Your body flushes in mortification as you replay the events of Wednesday and the events of earlier today when you had ordered your first caramel macchiato.

“Shit.” You stand up, pushing your chair in fast before running after Wonwoo, yelling a quick ‘bye’ over your shoulder to Yoongi.

“Wonwoo stop walking.” You pant as you catch up to him. You had barely run ten steps and you were heaving like you had just finished running a marathon. But it wasn’t your lack of cardio - maybe - it was the knowing smirk of the blonde earlier that had your chest feeling tight.

“What’s up?” He popped the ‘p’ like nothing was a big deal.

You point an accusatory finger at him, straightening yourself up. “Jeonghan.” You pant, clutching the strap of your bag to your chest. “The guy who gives me my coffee every now and then was watching on Wednesday...oh my god does he know I was the one that joined you?” You say, panic flashing before your eyes.

Wonwoo laughs and wraps an arm around your shoulder. “Yup, put two and two together and texted me that night so I can let you know that you got yourself a fan.” He starts walking, pulling you into his side.

“That literally goes against rule six.” You whine and hit his chest. It only makes him laugh harder as he leads you down the sidewalk to the parking garage where his lonely car was waiting.

“Don’t worry, Jeonghan is cool, will probably lay down his life to protect you now.” He pauses and turns to face you, hands flying up to your shoulders holding you in place. “But he will probably tease you relentlessly now, so start getting ready because once he starts he won’t stop.” He pokes your nose with his index finger, an amused smile painted over his features. This was literally your worst nightmare coming to life.

“That’s not reassuring at all.”

Wonwoo shows up at your front door, in a navy blue tracksuit on Sunday at exactly 10:10am

“What?” You practically yell as you yank your front door open, still in your pajamas. Bedhead, eyes heavy with sleep, your pillow imprinted against your cheek, an old stained t-shirt and sweats.

“We’re moving my set-up today, remember?” He shrugs and walks in, uninvited, like he owns the place. He might as well, it’s concerning how much time he actually spends at your place rather than his. And you’re beginning to think that maybe suggesting to move his gaming set-up to your spare bedroom is a mistake. Now he was either going to show up unannounced more often than not or never leave. To the point he ends up moving in and sleeping on your couch. It’s not a very comfortable one you may add, but now you’re stuck so you might as well let him figure that one out on his own.

“You couldn’t wait until like the afternoon, you know, when the world is actually awake.” You yawn and close your front door. He toes off his shoes, leaving them messily next to yours and makes his way to your couch. Plopping down, resting his feet on top of your coffee table. Each moment that passes by you’re convinced he’s never ever going to leave. And that mere thought has you staring at him mouth agape, horror running past your eyes.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want Wonwoo to live with you. Well you didn’t. But he wasn’t as bad as you were making the entire possibility of the situation to be. It’s that Wonwoo liked waking up early, and wasn't the quietest at it either. The many times you had crashed at his place either being too tired to actually make the elevator ride, too drunk or two lonely. The next day you were either woken up by loud music, blasting through his bluetooth speaker, the heavy stomps of his rushed footsteps or pots and pans clattering against one another.

You on the other hand were only an early morning riser on the weekdays, took your time to bathe in the quiet and stillness of the time. You followed your morning routine to the ‘t’ in order to get your day started on the right track. Having Wonwoo permanently live with you, would disrupt the entire flow. Though, you were getting ahead of yourself, knowing that the chances of having Wonwoo live with you permanently were fairly slim. Despite his most prized possession being uprooted from the comfortable spot in his living room, he respected your boundaries just like you respected his.

“No time to waste, moving it up here is the easy part, building it again is the hard part. Then we have to decorate the room and finally decide on what we will officially be doing on Wednesday.” He stood up and walked over to you. His hands come up to rest on top of your shoulders, “so wash your face, brush your teeth and fix your hair we have a busy day ahead of us princess. Every second counts.”

You groan in annoyance and shove his hands away. “I just wanted to sleep in today.” You mumble, bumping into his shoulder as you make your way past him, walking down the hallway that leads to the rooms. “You could’ve just waited at least an hour.”

“No can do, time is ticking and I’m not getting any younger.” He yells. You flick him off, back facing him. You hear him laugh. Once upon a time you were the one with a copious amount of energy in the morning, not Wonwoo. But that was back when you were seventeen and still hadn’t gone through your first heartbreak.

The tables sure had turned.

“Was this really necessary?” Wonwoo peers down at you after double checking the ropes of the hanging swing. His handyman skills were subpar, but it was nothing a quick youtube tutorial couldn’t fix.

“Of course, it’s the finishing touch to the room.” You squeal and let go of the ladder you were holding on to. Not that it mattered. It wasn’t that high and Wonwoo was a tough boy, a small fall wouldn’t hurt him. Your only purpose in staying by his side was so you could keep shouting out your demands at him.

“Alright then it’s done.” He smiles and climbs down the ladder. Excited, you skip to the entrance of the room.

It had taken the whole day, and now that the adrenaline high was starting to wear off as you looked around the room with bright eyes. The soreness in your muscles made itself known. Helping Wonwoo carry his gaming setup wasn’t easy. It took nearly five trips between your place and his to get everything in your living room. It took five more trips to get everything in to your spare bedroom. For him to then start setting everything up. He insisted that you not help him out because his precious babies needed all his love, care and undivided attention - his words not yours - so you made yourself busy with the rest of the room.

You had opted out for a simple design when you had mapped it out weeks ago, after scavenging pinterest for different ideas. At first it was meant to serve as an office now that your roommate had moved in with her boyfriend. But after Wednesday and the more you started to think about it, turning it into a spare bedroom made sense. No way were you going to show off your body online with Wonwoo in a gaming chair and you on his lap.

Your messily drawn out blueprint did the room zero justice. The neutral colors were perfect, with the random pops of colors. You added a few fake plants - because only god knows how incapable you are at keeping a plant alive - and Wonwoo’s gaming set up taking over the whole front of the room. Who knew he needed so many things to play games. Three monitors, a colorful keyboard, a boom mic, headset and the PC that glowed white; as requested by you. The only thing that was missing was his gaming chair but you had pleaded with him to leave it behind. The navy blue would clash against the creamy white of your room and though the only people who would actually step foot into the room were you and Wonwoo. You didn’t want the monster of a thing to clash with the vibe.

“Wow, it looks great.” Wonwoo says, now standing next to you as he looks around the room. “Good job partner.” He smiles and raises his hand. You roll your eyes and give him a high five before walking over to the light switch.

“This isn’t even the best part.” You smile, feeling all giddy inside as you shut the lights off and turn on the multiple fairy lights you hung up earlier. They sparkled like the night sky, scattered strategically throughout the room. It made the whole reality of what this room would be used for less scary.

Making an atmosphere in which you felt comfortable in was important to you. Even more now that you were venturing out of your comfort zone, doing something you never once saw yourself doing. Which is why Wonwoo agreed to help you out. Truth be told he had started getting into interior designing, honing a pinterest account himself with a few boards already created. For months he had been trying to think of ways in which he could improve his set up, there’s only so much you could do to get yourself off sitting in a gaming chair. He couldn’t venture out, explore kinks he recently found himself interested in because he didn’t have enough room. But now he did and the best part, as he looked around the room one last time; he felt safe.

“Our viewers are going to love it.” He says, walking over to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder, tugging you into his side. “Is it bad I can’t wait for Wednesday now, I’m excited to see everyone’s reaction.” He chuckles before planting a gentle kiss against the crown of your head.

The gesture was gentle, simple and something you were used to. It meant nothing but it made a small wave of sadness pass through you, because it was just another reminder of how Wonwoo would never be able to be yours. That him being by your side was just temporary because no matter how hard you tried once. You could never harbor feelings for the boys whose arms seemed to live around you. Permanently.

“Which reminds me,” you unravel his arm from your shoulders and walk past him, sitting down on the swinging chair. This was simply added for your pure enjoyment. You figured you could join Wonwoo and work silently on your laptop while he cursed at his gaming buddies through his headset. “We need to figure out what we’re going to do, so partner it’s time for the brainstorming session.” You bring your knees up, resting your chin at him as you meet Wonwoo’s eyes.

He scoffs and shakes his head before exiting the room. “Give me a second I’m going to order food. I can’t think on an empty stomach.” He yells as he trudges his way through your apartment, likely reaching the kitchen and looking in your takeout drawer for a menu.

“Oh then can you bring me my laptop when you come back.”

“Haven’t I done enough, my body is close to giving up.” He pauses, mumbles something before asking, “Where did you leave it?”

“Thank you, the couch underneath the blanket.”

Wednesday came faster than you expected.

Nervous was an understatement. The entire day you couldn’t concentrate, hands shaking, standing up every five minutes just to walk out your nerves. Though you could blame that on the extra shot Jeonghan had snuck into your caramel macchiato after your morning shift at the tutoring center.

“For your flawless efforts.” He had said with a cheeky wink. You weren’t sure if you should be flattered or downright scared for your life. The subsided paranoia you had managed to control since last Wednesday returning.

The blonde must’ve noticed your reluctance because he added a blueberry muffin to your order and a quiet. “Don’t worry,” before giving you a reassuring smile and thumbs up. It made you feel better but you couldn’t stop looking over your shoulder everywhere you went. A just in case gesture to make sure no one had figured out your dirty secret.

It had driven Wonwoo crazy and a little bit afraid. He had found you pacing back and forth as you waited for him to get out of his last class of the day. He all but had to hold onto your shoulders the entire walk to the parking lot. Your hand in his as he drove back to your apartment building, along with reassuring words. The only two times he had ever seen you this nervous was before your fifth grade dance recital and before your first date with your jerk of an ex two years ago.

Wonwoo held a strong burning hateful desire towards the man. He could never get the image of you showing up at his dorm with mascara tracks tainting your cheeks, after you caught him cheating on you with your roommate. Needless to say you had secretly stayed with him, building yourself up again, as he tried his hardest not to commit murder.

“Should I wear lingerie?” Your voice brings him out of his memory filled day dream. He was sitting on your couch, trying to get a head start on homework. But he couldn’t really concentrate with all your pacing.

“I thought we talked about this on Sunday. Simple equals better.” He closes your laptop and sits back on your couch, crossing his legs together as he watches you pace, biting your lower lip nervously. “You’re going to burn a hole in the ground. Calm down and sit down.” He pats the spot next to him, extending his arm for you to take.

“I can’t, if I sit down I can feel the anxiety go up my throat. This is better, I'll just pace for the next two hours.” You shrug and continue your movements.

Wonwoo laughs and opens your laptop again. “Suit yourself, the couch is pretty comfortable.” He runs his hands over the cold blue velvet of your couch cushions. As tempted as it sounded. You knew the couch wasn’t as comfortable as he assumed it to be. You had the neck pain after night’s of binging and falling asleep on the couch to prove it. But you had no energy to focus on telling him, because it was deep rooted on something else. Something that had been bothering you since you woke up that morning.

Will you be able to do it again? Or was it just a one time deal and now your libido was broken because of your nerves. Or will the viewers like it? You know they loved Wonwoo’s solo streams. You had gone back to watch a few after Wednesday - that’s something you will never share with Wonwoo - and you joining him was just a spur of the movement type of thing. To get a feel of things and earn some money for your tuition payment. They probably weren’t expecting you to be back again and so the last thing you wanted was to disappoint Wonwoo’s viewers and ruin his career of sorts.

“Hey!” Wonwoo yells, making you jump. A throw pillow hits you square in the face.

“What the he-”

“Stop talking, stop pacing, stop thinking and just sit down. I can feel your anxiety all the way over here.” He points between the space separating your bodies before standing up. “You’re going to be fine, the show’s going to go great and I’ll be there the entire time. You have no reason to feel so nervous.” He takes a hold of your shoulders, holding you in place.

“But...but what if...yo-”

“No stop, it’s not that serious stop taking it so seriously. Everything is going to be okay.” He pulls you into a hug. His hands splayed out across your back, moving in soothing circles.”I’m here.”

Instantly you relax into his arms, take in his scent and close your eyes. Sometimes Wonwoo liked to joke about what would happen to him if you weren’t in his life. You would always answer back jokingly that he would probably die and he would always agree. It was the same for you. The role he played in your life was far greater than what you once imagined. The day he wasn’t anymore. The day he found someone to love wholeheartedly just like he always dreamed would be hell for you. But instead of focusing on that, you always cherished every single moment he spent with you, like this one. You in his arms, him telling you that everything was going to be okay. It was all you needed to make your anxiety and nerves go away.

It was your secret antidote.

“Hello everyone, welcome to Wednesday night in Woo’s game room.” He smiles wide. His baby oiled chest glistening on the screen. Immediately the pinging starts. “Alright y'all know the drill we won’t start until we reach our goal.” He pokes his tongue against his cheek as he leans back on the bed, spreading his legs.

Dom.han: my favorite boy is looking extra delectable tonight. Dom.han donated 100 coins. gyuishard; HOLY SHIT ROOM GOALS!!! gyuishard donated 50 coins. BOOtang16: I miss ONE stream and now everything’s changed.

Wonwoo laughs and sits up again, elbows against his knees. “You guys like the new set up, baby girl helped me with it. Her eye for interior design is way better than mine.” He laughs lightly and extends his arm signaling for you to come in on the screen.

You stand up from the swinging chair, take a deep breath, tug on Wonwoo’s old light washed band t-shirt and slowly make your way to him. Quietly you sit down next to him, crossing your bare legs and resting your shaking hands behind you. The nerves weren’t as serious as they were throughout the day, but they were still there.

Gam3boivern18: sweeeettttt! I was totally hoping for a two in one deal tonight. Thank you God or whatever for answering my prayers. Gam3boivern18 donated 100 coins. Dom.han: I was hoping to see you again baby girl, you too look delectable. Cherrycheol69: can’t say I’m not a little disappointed, but my heart broke a long time ago so I’ll just say. Cherrycheol69 donated 50 coins. BOOtang16: OKAY NOW I KNOW I SHOULDN’T HAVE MISSED LAST WEEK I AM...SPEECHLESS.

You giggle at the comments, hiding your smile behind your manicured hand. Wonwoo wraps an arm around your shoulders and tugs you into his side. He had been extra touchy since your whole pacing fiasco in your living room. Every time he sensed your nerves spiraling he would bring you into a hug in order to calm you down.

“Baby girl here is a little nervous to be joining us permanently from now on. Afraid you guys won’t be as welcoming as last time, but I assured her that you guys would accept her either way.” He speaks into the camera, circling his thumb over your shoulder soothingly.

Sextigerhosh56: HELL YEAH YOU GUYS ARE MY FAVORITE Sextigerhosh56 donated 100 coins. Sextigerhosh56: CAN’T WAIT, I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED. Cherrycheol69: all in favor of banning sextigerhosh56 say I Cherrycheol69: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Princejisoo: shut up cherrycheol69, you’re just jealous it’s not you fucking our lovely Woo. Cherrycheol69: pffft...not true Gam3boivern18: shut up y'all are ruining the vibe.

You smile reading over the comments. Somehow reading them made you feel a lot better. Wonwoo was right, this wasn’t as serious as your mind was making it out to be and that revelation alone was the most reassuring thing you’ve had running through your mind all day.

“Don’t fight guys, we’re just here to have some fun.” You click your tongue and uncross your legs, parting them enough for your shirt to start ridding up. Satisfied, you watch as the chat runs wild, and the pinging gets louder. If it wasn’t for the fact that you and Wonwoo, individually, had separated into different rooms to get yourselves riled up before the stream. You were positive that the sound of the tips coming in and the lewd comments was enough to get you aroused and ready.

Wonwoo’s arm gets tighter, his hand coming to a stop. “Wow, it didn’t even take ten minutes for us to reach our goal, I guess it’s time we start. What do you say baby girl, ready?” He looks down at you, lust burning deeply behind his glass coated irises. He was hungry and by the way he licked his lips, he knew that you were too.

“Yes, ready, t-”

Wonwoo cuts you off by crashing his lips onto yours. It was slow, and carefully calculated just like everyone Wonwoo did when it didn’t come to school. He tasted like your toothpaste and him. This was only the second time you had ever kissed Wonwoo, the first time being during your two day relationship back when you were fifteen. Back then the kiss was nasty, and sloppy. Two desperate teenagers, excited to finally have their first kiss.

This was different. It was full of passion, desire and hunger. It took you almost a full ten seconds to finally kiss him back and when you did you felt them. The sparks you weren’t supposed to feel for someone that had the best friend title, but you did and it made you want to kiss him more. So you did, harder, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. He groaned against your lips, letting his hands travel down the side of your body until they reached the hem of his t-shirt.

You pull away for a second, your chest heaving as he searches your eyes for any sign of rejection. “Take it off.” You whisper, diving in once again and kissing him. Your tongue swiping across his lower lip, asking, no, begging for access. He smirks and pulls away, making you chase his mouth with a whine.

“Not sure if our viewers are worthy of seeing your body yet.” He smirks looking into the camera, his eyes scanning the comments.

You bite your lip, running your fingers through the hair resting on the nape of his neck. “Do you guys want to see me naked?” You ask, the innocence lacing every one of your syllables together. Wonwoo’s hand on your waist gets tighter.

This was a new kind of torture for him and he wasn’t exactly sure why?

gyuishard: fuck please, I’ve been dying to see her naked since last week. It’s literally driving me crazy. Gyuishard donated 100 coins. Not.Dino: please I’ll give you my first unborn child. Sexcaliber: take a shot every time Not.Dino says he’s going to give up his unborn child for sex. J____HUI27: pass, don’t want to die of alcohol poisoning.

“I don’t think they want it enough, Woo.” You pout.

“You’re right baby girl, it seems like they don’t want to see you cum.”

Dom.han: as a representative, I speak for everyone when I say that we want to see you naked. Gam3boivern18: I second that Sextigerhosh56: I third that BOOtang16: I kinda fourth that.

Wonwoo shakes his head, making a sound of approval before turning to face you. He moves his hands up your body, along with your shirt. He sucks in a breath when he sees your mint green panties and your lack of bra. He brings your shirt over your head and throws it behind you, landing on the swinging chair. Your pure laugh gets caught in the back of your throat when you feel his lips take in your nipple. His tongue circles over the bud, the air in your lungs falls short.

You pull him closer, brushing your fingers through his silky black hair. He sucks on it, humming in delight. He let’s it go with a pop, circles his tongue over the hard bud a few times, locking his eyes with yours before moving to the other one. This was not in the outline the two of you created Sunday night, but you weren’t going to say anything because this felt like heaven.

“Oh...Woo, feels good.” You whisper. He laughs against your skin, the vibrations send a sweet pleasurable shiver down your skin as you tug on the roots of his hair. He moans and lets go of your nipple, connecting his lips between the valley of your breast as he kisses up your chest, then your neck until they finally meet your lips. His kiss is far more desperate than before, his large handles fondle your breasts gently, massaging your nipples with the palm of his hands.

He doesn’t give you a second to deepen the kiss before he’s pulling away and standing up. His hard length strained against his black sweatpants. He doesn’t break your eye contact as he cups his hard cock and slowly moves his hand, teasing himself for you.

“Do you want to see baby girl? Do you want to see me touch myself like last week?” His chest is falling and rising fast. You’re sure it matches your own as you nod your head, spread your legs even further for the camera to see the wet patch of arousal spoiling your favorite panties.

“Use your words.” His hand moves underneath the waistband of his sweats, pulling them low enough for just the hot tip of his cock to appear. The image is enough to have you cumming untouched but you keep your desires at bay. After all, you weren’t allowed to finally touch yourself without his permission.

His minor dominating kink was something the two of you had discussed on Sunday. It wasn’t Christian Grey-possibly-in-need-of-therapy, dom kink. But it was sweet and gentle and enough to want to get on your knees for him.

Cherrycheol69: please don’t leave him hanging baby girl, I’m DESPERATE over here!

“I want to see you touch yourself Woo, please, for me.” You bat your eyelashes at him. He’s the only one that can see and knowing that no one else is able to see your eyes. And the sparkling desire for him hiding behind them was everything to him.

His own tiny little secret.

He says nothing and brings down his sweatpants. His hard cock hits his stomach as he kicks his sweatpants away with his feet. He runs his hand over it a few times before sitting down, elbow holding him up behind him.

Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, hands itching to touch. That was a line the two of you agreed to not cross. Yet. How could you keep your promise when he looked so nice and pretty pleasuring himself. For you and a few hundred strangers to witness.

“Can I touch myself now?” You play with your fingers as he keeps his gaze on you while running his thumb over the head of his cock, spreading around the tiny bead of precum that was oozing out, wetting himself up.

“I don’t think you deserve to yet, kiss me and we’ll see.” He hooks an arm around your neck and brings you close, planting his lips against yours again. He doesn’t waste any time as he opens your mouth, snaking his tongue inside your mouth, moaning as his wet muscle hits yours. He sucks on your tongue. The crude sounds of pleasure send a wave of arousal down your legs and you’re getting needier by the second. The scenario you painted for yourself earlier while the two of you were getting ready and in the mood fell short. Because this was far sexier and hotter than whatever your fantasies consisted of.

He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting both of your lips. He smirks and lets go of your chin, letting his hand go down your body, leaving behind ghost touches as he reaches the band of your panties. “Take them off for us, we all want to see how wet and pretty your pussy is.” He says, and pecks your lips. His hand leaves your body, making you shudder as you stand up slowly.

Gam3boivern18: I want to say something but I’m so turned on right now I’m speechless. Not.Dino: you just said something. gyuishard: every time I see you two I cum more than usual. Not.Dino: this is the second time they go live together. You just have no self control. Dom.han: you guys talk too much. I request a private show ;)

You laugh while scanning the comments and slowly bring your panties down. The camera can’t see the mini show you’re putting on. But Wonwoo can and his loud grunt is enough for you.

Once they’re off you sit down next to Wonwoo again, the flimsy material hanging from your index finger. “Want them?” You ask, extending your arm so they’re hanging right in front of his face.

“So naughty baby girl.” He snatches them and throws them to the side, making a mental note to steal them from you once the show is over. You had enough. One less wasn’t going to put a dent in your panty collection. Wonwoo sits up and grabs your leg, resting it over his thigh. Your wet pussy on display for the camera to see and he wishes he could just touch you to feel how much you wanted him and his cock. But he restrains.

Another time.

“Go on touch yourself, make yourself feel good for me and our viewers.” He taps your thigh lightly before going back to pleasing himself.

“I’m so wet, I bet everyone wants to feel and taste me.” You smirk, your hand traveling down your body, slowly getting to it’s desired destination. “Do you want to taste me Woo?” You look over at him. He looks so fucked out already and you wonder what he would look like if he was inside of you.

He doesn’t answer you, instead quirks his eyebrow at you. You were going off script, so unlike you. But he couldn’t ignore the way his mouth watered when you asked him the forbidden question. So, you take matters into your own hands and run your index finger along your slit, coating it with your essence before bringing it up to his lips.

Princejisoo: can’t say I’m not jealous, that pretty pussy looks so wet and good enough to eat. Princejisoo donated 200 coins.

Wonwoo smirks and takes your wet digit in between his lips. Your sweetness explodes against his taste buds, he’s never tasted someone so sweet before. And now he’s sure he’s going to be craving you every hour of the day.

Fuck he really shouldn’t have let you do that.

“Good?” You tilt your head to the side, your finger wastes no time connecting with your clit. You massage it gently waiting for his response, and it comes sounding far sultry than you expected.

“Delicious, can’t wait until the day I get to devour you.”

“Be a good boy and it might just be sooner than you think.” You wink at him, circling your entrance with your index finger.

He hums and leans forward. For a second he had forgotten that he was doing a show, he had gotten so lost in you that it had fled his mind. “You guys have been so quiet, cat got your tongue?” He smirks, clicking his tongue.

Cherrycheol69: yes, ripped it right out of my mouth...fuck. Sextigerhosh56: for a second I forgot how to be. Omg. Gam3boivern18: that kiss is gonna live in my mind rent free...fuck

Wonwoo smiles, still moving his hand up and down his cock slowly, like it’s a leisure activity like gaming. “How about baby girl fingers herself? Get her begging for my fingers.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, the pings start up again. The chat erupts into chaos, almost becoming invisible from how fast it is going.

“I guess that’s a yes, go ahead angel, fill yourself up.” He leans back on his elbow again. One hand finds the thigh he has hooked over his leg and he gently starts trickling his fingers up and down.

You insert one of your fingers inside yourself gently. It barely stretches you out but it’s enough to have you panting again. You move it slowly, keeping your eyes on Wonwoo. Challenging him. He starts moving his hand up and down his length again, this time more determined.

“How does it feel?” He forces out as he swipes his thumb over the head of his cock. It’s so red, oozing with precum, it makes your mouth water. You’ve never craved a cock in your mouth before until now. The mere thought of it caught you off guard, but the image was so vivid in your head that it had you moaning.

“Good, wish they were your fingers Woo.” You take a deep breath and move your finger faster, wishing you could go deeper.

“Add another finger, stretch yourself out for me.” He instructs. His hand lets go of his cock and starts fondling his balls. He’s so close to cumming he needs to distract himself from letting go so soon. He doesn’t want to spoil the fun by finishing first and leaving you hanging, especially when he couldn’t touch you the way he wanted too.

You nod and insert your middle finger inside of yourself. The slight stretch is blissful. You don’t miss a beat before thrusting them in deep until they meet the soft squishy spot inside of you. Your wimpers increase in volume as you continue to please yourself for him. The coil forms in the pit of your stomach, making your fingers go faster.

Dom.han: she’s so close, touch her clit baby boy.

Wonwoo reads out loud before turning to face you, a glint of mischief buried behind his soft eyes. You’re so desperate to cum, that you don’t care what happens from now on. So you nod your head, grab the hand resting on your thigh and bring it over to your pussy.

He swallows and connects his fingers on top of your clit, massaging it fast. You moan loudly, arching your back, thrusting your hips into his hand and yours. The added pleasure is mind numbing and your orgasm washes over you, spilling over your fingers and down your thighs.

“Holy shit.” Wonwoo whispers, his fingers helping you ride out your orgasm as your body twitches from your high. He can’t stop himself anymore, you literally just squirted in front of him. The image now ingrained in his brain forever, adding it to the content he uses to get himself off when he’s alone. And he cums, painting his hand and chest, your name falling short at the tip of your tongue as he stops himself from moaning it out.

The last thing the two of you wanted was your name all over the internet. That was his secret. His pleasure not anyone else's.

You rest your head against your shoulder, panting as you regain your energy. Wonwoo kisses the crown of your head before leaning forward.

Gam3boivern18: y’all can stay taking my money, cuz FUCK THAT WAS HOT Cherrycheol69: I think I might be in love with you two now. gyuishard: is it possible to be hard again, I literally just came for like the 5th time. BOOtang16: I’m never missing a stream again...FUCK! Princejisoo: that was sexy doll, thank you.xx

Wonwoo shakes his head at the comments, wiping his hand with the t-shirt he had discarded before the stream started. He reads over the comments one last time, keeping you close, running his hand soothingly down your arm, before showing off his perfect smile to the camera. “That’s it for tonight, I gotta take care of baby here. Come back next Wednesday we might have a surprise for you all.” He hints, the teasing tone in the back of his throat doesn’t go unnoticed as the chat once again erupts in chaos.

He laughs, waving slyly and shuts down the stream.

“Are you okay?” He wraps both of his arms around you, pushing your hair away from your face.

You give him a small smile before nodding your head. “I want pancakes.”

“Then we’ll get pancakes after I clean you up and you drink your water, sounds good?”

“Perfect.”

The delicious scent of pancakes hits your nose, overwhelming your senses the second you and Wonwoo step into the 24-hr Diner. It was empty apart from the drunk college freshman shouting nonsensically at the bar, hitting on the hostess unapologetically making you cringe. Wonwoo grips your elbow through your grey hoodie, grabbing your attention.

“What’s wrong casanova?” You tilt your head as you take in his angry scowl. He’s fuming, smoke erupting from his ears as he watches the whole scene play out. You lift your hand and wave it in front of him, worried. The only time you had ever seen him this angry was...well you’ve never seen him this angry and it makes something inside of twist in displeasure.

Instead of questioning it even further you grab his arm and yank him to a booth in the far corner of the diner. Away from the bar, away from the drunk college freshman, and away from the hostess. His gaze doesn’t leave her, his lip caught in between his teeth, until you force him to sit down. His back facing the commotion.

“Who is she?” You ask, taking a seat in front of him and eyeing the paper placemat in front of you. Itching to draw, to doodle, to do anything with your hands to keep you from looking up at him. The last thing you wanted was to give yourself away. To let him know that something inside of you had changed after tonight. It was confusing. It was driving you crazy but you figured you were still basking in the afterglow of the fulfilling high you experienced earlier. That it didn’t mean anything other than the fact that you were still slightly needy and desperate for his attention.

He shrugs and takes the salt shaker in his hands, circling the rim with his finger. “Maya, we’ve been in the same classes since junior year of my undergraduate, she’s my lab partner.” He smiles gently, runs a hand across his face, knocking his round specs away from his nose, laughing.

You freeze. Wonwoo has had crushes on people before. You remember the first time he told you he was head over heels for this guy in his general science course a week after he came out to you. You remember how giddy and nervous he was when he first asked him out on a date. How embarrassed he was when he told you that he was more than positive that he was the one. And how heartbroken he was when they seemingly drifted apart.

But this was different. This wasn’t a crush. This was something far deeper than that. Suddenly you weren’t sure if you even wanted pancakes anymore. The thought of your favorite comfort food, doing anything but comfort you. You felt like throwing up, but you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat.

This was nothing. Whatever you and Wonwoo had was nothing and the only reason you were reacting this way was because you turned into a fucking clingy child after sex. Always. It was what drove all your previous partners away.

You nod and fold the paper menu in half, opting out in reading any of the house specials. Keeping your shaking hands from being discovered was your only goal right now. “You should ask her out then, or save her from those idiots.” You clear your throat, patting your chest gently. He lifts his head immediately and shakes it in dismissal, which confuses you even further.

“I’ve tried, I always end up saying something stupid and embarrass myself.” He sits back in the booth and throws his head up. His eyes squint as they catch the light. Your mouth opens in shock.

Wonwoo, the Jeon Wonwoo, the smooth talker, the one that has no problem making people blush with his words, the one that told you all those dirty things earlier get’s tongue tied?

“That’s ridiculous, you’re incapable of embarrassing yourself. Just pretend you’re talking to me or something.” You mentally slap yourself for even suggesting it, especially now that your emotions were all over the place.

“I can’t do that.” He exasperates and crosses his arms, glaring at you. It brings shivers up your spine. And not the pleasant ones you felt earlier when he kissed you.

You stop folding the menu, and set the tiny paper boat in front of you. Your head is spinning, similarly to when you were orgasming under his touch. But this time it feels like you’re about to faint with the way your heart is being pulled out of your chest. You move your hands and set them on top of your thighs. The perspiration coating them lets them stick onto the leather booth.

Wonwoo is watching you gently, his eyes following every single one of your moves. He’s sure something is wrong. The excitement of the promise he made to treat you to pancakes topped with peanut M&M’s is non-existent. In fact you look almost pained and struggling to breathe and for a second he’s beating himself up for not going the extra mile in the entire aftercare process. Knowing that when you told him you were fine he should’ve listened to his gut instead because he knows you’re not, and it’s all his fault.

“Why can’t you do that?” You pause chewing on your lip, tilting your head cautiously. He shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak. Probably to ask what you meant but the words stop in the back of his throat before he can even get them out, your voice is chiming against his eardrums, pitch higher than usual.

“Why can’t you talk to her like it's me?”

“Oh,” Wonwoo says, he shifts his attention as the hostess - Maya, walks by your table and rounds the bar to whisper to the red-haired waiter behind the bar. He’s cute but you don’t let yourself fantasize over him. Not when Wonwoo watches the entire interaction with a half-hearted smile, his nails gripping his navy blue sweatshirt and it makes you notice the way the emptiness digs its claws into the pit of your stomach.

Is he jealous? Are you jealous?

You take a deep breath and clear your throat, catching his attention. He must have it bad if all it takes is for her to walk by him for him to turn into mush. You raise an eyebrow waiting for his answer. One you’re not sure you really want to hear, but need to hear either way. It may seem like some sort of cruel punishment, but it only serves as a reminder. A way to bring you back down to Earth to remember your place in his world.

“You’re my best friend and she’s someone I think I’m in love with.”

There it is.

It stings. You aren’t going to lie but this isn’t the first time Wonwoo has ever broken your heart, but just like all those times before you’ll take a few days to wallow in your pity, put back the pieces of your heart that stubbornly fell out. And go about your day with your head held high.

“Then I’ll help you. Let me be your wingwoman.”

#kpopscape #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #wonwoo fanfiction #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fanfic

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honeypiehotchner · 3 years

Text

Version of You (Hotch x Fem!Reader) — one shot

Call 1-800-799-7233 if you think you are in danger/a victim of domestic violence, or visit this website for resources, live chat, and more (for the USA). This is a link to the wikipedia page that has international resources.

(I wanted to put that first because this fic deals with an abusive relationship and some scenes show the abuse. If you relate to any this, please seek help via the resources above. I want desperately to say my DMs are open, but for my own mental wellbeing, I have to let you know that the resources that I give above are about all I can do to help. You’re welcome to DM me if needed, but please know that it might take me a minute to reply, and I still will point you in the direction of resources that can better help you. I love and support and am with every single one of you, but I can only do so much through a screen xx.)

This is 100% a comfort fic, but I am safe and okay, I promise 💛 (Truthfully, this was really therapeutic to write.)

Small note: mental and verbal abuse is depicted here, not physical (though it does come close), but I wanted to remind you that just because abuse isn’t physical doesn’t mean it’s not harmful or real. Mental and verbal abuse is still abuse.

Summary: Hotch helps you find the courage within you to end your abusive relationship for good.

Warnings: depiction of an abusive relationship, verbal/mental abuse, violence (domestic and otherwise), angst, happy ending

Hotch Masterlist

Aaron is stunned and disappointed to find you’re still at your desk when he walks out of his office at the grand hour of 8 p.m.

You don’t even hear his office door open or close, but you do hear his footsteps on the stairs. By the time he reaches your desk to say goodnight, you’re already attempting to cover up any traces of emotion on your cheeks.

But Aaron is a profiler. On top of that, though, he’s one of your best friends. He’s known you for six years now, and given how much time the BAU members spend together on cases, he’d argue he knows every single person here better than they know themselves.

You’d agree. You hardly know who you are anymore. But somehow, Aaron knows. Aaron can see.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, already setting his bag down, already pulling a chair over, already sitting next to you.

You’re ready to tell him it’s nothing, to tell him to get home to Jack, that it isn’t important — but it is.

You’ve been with your current partner for almost eight years. Anyone would hear that and ask if marriage is on the horizon, or children, or something of the sort. But not Aaron. Because Aaron can see the pain in your eyes.

Truthfully, he’s seen that pain in your eyes for the past two years. Maybe more.

But recently, it’s gotten worse. A lot worse.

You’re on a “break” with your partner. Whatever a “break” even means, because you still receive phone calls and texts from them all day. You send the calls to voicemail unless you absolutely aren’t doing anything, and the texts you reply to with one word.

Going home is fine because your partner is gone — for now. Work called them away, so you’re home alone for at least another three days, but you expect they’ll want you to pick them up from the airport.

You’ve never longed for a case the way you’re longing for one right now.

This “break” has been easiest because your partner has been gone. You know if they were here, it wouldn’t have been a break at all.

“It’s made me realize that I...I want a break. A real break.”

“You want to break up,” Aaron says it for you, knowing you’re too afraid.

Your hesitant nod confirms this for him. “I do. I think I really do.”

Aaron has known the relationship hasn’t been the healthiest. You don’t open up about your personal life that much at work — you never have — but it has always been telling that you never go out for drinks with the team. And when you did, you’d have to answer texts every ten minutes. Your partner never accepted an invite to join the team for drinks or dinner, but would often get angry at you for being out, as if you hadn’t tried to invite them.

Raised voices, broken glass. Not a single hand was ever laid on you. No, instead, it was a wine glass your mom gifted to you when you graduated college when your partner was angry that you had gone out for drinks with the team after a difficult case. A coffee mug you gifted your partner for their birthday faced the brunt of their anger when you didn’t reply to a text message fast enough — because you were parking your car in the garage. Plates, picture frames. A coffee table once, three years ago. It had been a house warming present.

But they’ve never hurt me, you always argue — only with yourself. No one knows the truth, that you clean up after their outbursts, that you’re grateful to have some knowledge of first aid so you can tend to your cuts from the broken glass, or so that you could stitch up your partner’s hand with ease, because hospitals are expensive and the excuses you’d have to fabricate even more so.

They always apologize. Which is true. Apologies are frequent in your house. Sometimes verbal, sometimes in the form of flowers either on your desk at the BAU (that only Hotch seems to notice with a sad smile) or left on the counter at home. Sometimes, rarely, a fancy dinner and some gift, usually a necklace.

“If you need any help at all,” Aaron says, looking you in your eyes, carefully, intently. “I’m here. For anything.”

“Thanks,” you murmur. Your stomach rumbles loudly in the silence, making you chuckle awkwardly.

“Hungry?” He jokes, but is half serious. “I was planning to get something on the way home, if you’d like to join.”

You think it over for a moment. Your mind immediately jumps to say no because you think your partner is home...but they aren’t.

“Sure,” you say. “Why not. What’s on the menu?”

You gather your things and Hotch waits patiently, rattling off some ideas for food to eat until one grabs your attention.

Your phone buzzes with a text. Where are you?

Aaron notices your change in posture with a sigh. “Is that them?”

You nod slowly. “Asking where I am.” You quickly type back, Still at the BAU.

The reply is almost immediate, as always. Just checking. Love you.

Relief washes over you as you type back, Love you too.

Aaron doesn’t like what he sees. The panic that surges through you just from a text message, making you stand up straight, hold your breath, clench your jaw. Then the relief that relinquishes you when a reply comes and it isn’t negative for once. The sudden changes, the way your emotions are yanked back and forth. He hates it.

But he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he says, “Ready?” And waits for you to smile.

+++

Hotch really doesn’t mean for dinner with you to turn into somewhat of a routine. But it does.

It’s brought more smiles to your face than Hotch thinks he has ever seen in the past six years. And for that, he doesn’t regret the dinners.

Neither do you, until the worst thing that could possibly happen ends up happening one night, three weeks since the first dinner.

Your partner is going out with friends, so you think you’re in the clear to get dinner with Aaron. And when your partner asks where you are again, you say you’re still at the BAU. You were, but you and Aaron were in the elevator to leave when you sent that message.

The two of you grab dinner at one of your favorite spots, at a table outside because the weather is perfect, the sky is clear, and stars are beginning to show. It’s magical. Until it’s a nightmare.

“Well, well, well.”

The voice sends shivers down your spine. They’re supposed to be out with friends.

Aaron automatically stands, shoulders squared and face set. He’s wearing his gun, and you are, too, but you’d never use it on your partner. You can’t say the same about Hotch, though, and that terrifies you.

“Babe,” you say with a smile, and Hotch tenses, hearing the pet name fall so easily form your lips. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going out with your friends?”

Your partner crosses their arms over their chest. “And I thought you were still at work.”

“We are,” Hotch speaks up, startling you. “We’re discussing a case.”

Your partner looks around, raising their eyebrows. “I don’t see any papers.”

“Because we went digital five years ago,” Hotch replies coolly. “But aside from that, a federal investigation is none of your business.”

You swallow thickly, waiting for your partner’s reply.

But to your surprise, they only nod. “I understand, sir. I was only checking.”

Hotch holds back a scoff, but instead returns the nod. “If you’ll excuse us.”

Your partner holds their hands up in surrender. “Of course.”

“I’ll see you at home,” you say quickly. “Love you.”

“See you at home,” they reply, making you frown as they turn and walk away.

When you look back at Hotch, you nearly scream. It takes everything in you not to make the hugest scene right there, outside this nice restaurant, underneath these stars.

Your phone buzzes. One hour. Do not be late.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t,” you say quietly. “Just. Don’t, Hotch.”

+++

The next day, you knock on Hotch’s office door, twenty dollar bill in hand to pay him back for your dinner last night. You left in a hurry and didn’t get to pay. Thankfully, at least, arriving home with forty minutes to spare saved you from an even worse reaction from your partner.

“For dinner last night,” you mumble, sliding the twenty across Hotch’s desk. “Thank you.”

As you turn on your heel to leave, Hotch calls out to you. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Aaron says, making you turn back around. “I hope you’re...alright.”

You’re so very far from being “alright” that you almost laugh. Instead, you shrug. “It’s been worse.”

“Did they hit you?”

You’re too shocked to move. “What? No! Why the hell would you even say that?”

“Because I’ve been worried about you.”

“They have never laid a hand on me,” you snap. “Ever.”

“But they’ve come close,” Aaron says gently. “You know they have.”

You only scoff. You feel hurt. Insulted, even, that he would assume something like that. Your relationship with your partner is rocky, of course, but never physical abuse rocky. Never that bad.

But has it come close?

Sure, maybe you’ve felt the wind off a beer bottle when it grazed by your head on its way to the wall. Maybe you have had to duck to avoid getting glass to the face. Maybe.

Maybe they have come close. Closer than you want to admit.

But they’ve also loved you. Held you while you cried. Rewarded you after you cleaned up the broken glass. Left you flowers and jewelry and love notes.

They love you. Don’t they?

“It’s fine,” you whisper, blinking back the stubborn tears that have jumped to the front of your eyes. “They love me.”

“Love isn’t violent,” Aaron replies gently. “Love shouldn’t make you as terrified as I saw you when you left last night.”

“I know,” you choke out. “But I don’t know what to do.”

Hotch is rounding his desk and gathering you in his arms before the first tear slips down your cheeks. He holds you while you cry, letting you get it all out.

“We’ll figure it out,” he whispers, resting his chin on top of your head. “Don’t worry.”

+++

It all comes to a head a few nights later when your partner springs a question on you. The question.

There, standing in the bathroom, you’re too stunned to speak.

“What d’you say, baby? Let’s get married, you and me.”

You don’t reply. You toss the makeup wipe in your trash can, flick the light in the bathroom off, and walk out into the bedroom.

“Baby?” They ask.

You’re facing the dresser, halfway to setting out a pair of pants for work tomorrow. “I...I can’t.”

“What?” Their reply is immediate and angry. “What are you talking about?”

“I can’t,” you repeat, refusing to change your answer. “No.”

By the time you turn around, they’re standing up from the bed, arms crossed over their chest. “What did you just say to me?”

“I said no,” you say firmly. “I’m not marrying you.”

“And why not?”

“I—”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“What?”

“Your boss? Are you fuckin’ him?”

“No!”

“Then why won’t you marry me?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

You’ve never raised your voice back at your partner. They’ve always been the one to raise their voice, and you stayed silent, tried to talk them down, be the quiet voice of reason.

But not anymore. You’ve had enough.

“You don’t want to?” They scream. “It’s been eight years and now you don’t want to. You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

“I’m not,” you say through gritted teeth. “But I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Baby…” They sigh, stepping closer, lowering their arms. “Why not?”

“Because,” you reply slowly, backing up. “Just because.”

“That’s not a good enough reason and you know it.”

“It’s good enough for me,” you say. You step to the side and keep backing out into the hallway, getting ready to run if need be.

“Where are you going?” They all but growl. “What’s wrong with you?”

You’re scaring me, you want to scream, but you don’t. “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine? Well I’m for damn sure not fine, I’m heartbroken,” they seethe. You see the tell-tale signs that they’re about to get angry — angry enough to start throwing things. You realize in a moment of horror that a paperweight is within their reach.

And they reach for it.

“Don’t,” you murmur, freezing when their fingers wrap around the glass. “Put it down.”

“Why?” They ask, calm as ever. “Don’t you want to see what you’ve just done to my heart?”

You shake your head slowly. “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, no!” Your reflexes have gotten better since being at the FBI, and you duck right in time. The paperweight crashes against the wall behind you, shattering, denting the wall, and covering the couch in fine pieces of broken glass.

“See what you’ve done!” Your partner screams. “This could’ve been easy! You could’ve said yes!”

You spot your car keys on the counter next to you, and when they turn their back to you to grip at their hair, you slide the keys off and into your pocket.

I have to get out of here. It’s a thought that you never have. Normally by now you’d be vacuuming up the glass on the couch, apologizing every five seconds, pouring them a glass of whiskey or a beer or something. But not now. Not anymore.

You’re a few steps from the door when your partner notices. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Nowhere,” you freeze. “Go take a shower. Cool off. I’ll clean up this mess and then we can talk about this again, okay?”

They almost don’t accept your offer, but after a second, they nod. “There better be a beer waiting on me when I get out.”

“Of course,” you smile.

Your smile makes them suspicious, but they turn and head into the bedroom without another word.

Shaking, you turn to the closet to grab the vacuum, turning it on and beginning to suck up the glass off the couch.

But when you hear the shower curtain pull closed, you escape, leaving the vacuum running.

+++

It’s pouring down rain, you aren’t wearing any shoes, and you’re knocking on your boss’s front door. Can your life get any more pathetic?

When Aaron opens the door, he’s practically hauling you inside and out of the rain.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks, already leading you down the hall toward the bathroom. “You’re shivering, we need to get you out of these clothes — you aren’t wearing shoes, fuck, Y/N, what happened?”

“They asked me to marry them,” you choke out. You aren’t even crying. You haven’t cried yet at all. “I said no. They almost hit me.”

Aaron feels a dangerous surge of anger course through his body. “Did they hit you?”

You shake your head, and it turns into a full-body shiver.

“Okay,” Aaron says, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Okay, let me get some clothes for you. Do you want to take a shower?”

You shake your head again.

“Okay, that’s okay. I’ll be right back.”

You sit, shivering, on your boss’s toilet for a few minutes before he returns with clothes. A t-shirt and pair of sweatpants of his. Old ones, he says, they don’t fit him anymore. You smile slightly when you realize the shirt is from his college, the sweatpants from his law school. No wonder they don’t fit him anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” you say. “I—I think I left my phone there.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that. Just get changed and get warm. Do you want some tea? Anything?”

“Just some water, please,” you murmur. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiles.

After he leaves, you change out of your wet clothes and into his shirt and sweatpants. You carefully hang your wet shirt and shorts over the edge of the bathtub, hoping that’s okay.

You venture out of the bathroom and follow the noise into the kitchen where you find Aaron putting up dishes.

“Hey,” he murmurs, straightening up. “Do you want ice with your water?”

“Um, sure.”

The sound of ice clinking into the glass makes you flinch, and you’re grateful Aaron’s back is turned away from you.

“There you go,” he hands you the glass.

“Thank you.”

You sip it quietly while he goes back to putting up the rest of the clean dishes in the dishwasher. Once he finishes, your heart is still racing, now with guilt from coming here unannounced. What if he was on a date? What if Jack was here?

“The guest room is all yours,” Aaron says softly. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

You nod slowly. “I don’t know what to do.” You pause, rubbing your thumb over the condensation on the glass. “But I told them I’m not marrying them. But I...I didn’t tell them I was leaving. Or where I was going.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not. They’re gonna be mad. I can’t— Oh my god, I can’t go back. Not alone, they’ll—”

“Hey,” Aaron shushes you, walking around the counter to get to you. “Don’t worry about it right now. We’ll figure it out. I’ll go with you. You won’t be alone.”

“Thank you.”

+++

The next morning, you and Aaron head into the office early so you have time to grab your go-bag and change into your work clothes that you left in there.

Thank God for having a job like this where it’s normal to have a few changes of clothes, a toothbrush, deodorant, and anything else you need in a duffle bag under your desk.

You and Aaron are the first people in the BAU, so you’re able to grab your bag and head to the bathroom to change without any questions. Once you return, you stuff the bag back under your desk and sit down, ready to bury yourself in reports for the day.

But before you can, Hotch calls you into his office.

“What’s up?” You ask when you step into the doorway.

“We didn’t eat breakfast,” he says, and that’s when you notice the two coffees and muffins sitting on his desk.

“Oh,” you chuckle. “I completely forgot.”

“Me too,” he smiles. “Here, sit.”

The two of you eat the breakfast in silence, but somehow you don’t mind it. You’re not in much of a talking mood, anyway.

Rossi arrives next and stops by Hotch’s office, not at all surprised to find the two of you eating together, though he does join with his coffee a few minutes later. The silence vanishes with Rossi, leaving laughter in its wake as he tells old stories about Hotch.

When the rest of the team arrives, they follow the noise to Hotch’s office, and soon you’re surrounded by your family. Your real family.

Once eight-thirty rolls around, you all begin to disperse, back to your respective spaces to start working for the day, and everything feels normal.

And then, in a matter of seconds, it isn’t.

The second your eyes land on your partner standing down in the bullpen, you fall to your knees, scaring the shit out of Hotch.

“What happened?” He blurts, kneeling down to you. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you shake your head. “No, no, no...No, Hotch, they’re out there.”

Hotch doesn’t need their name. The fear on your face is enough.

About this time, you hear Derek’s voice growing in volume. The most you can make out is, “Put...down…!” And that’s when your blood runs ice cold.

You pat your right hip, hoping, praying, your weapon is magically there, even though you know it’s not. You put it in the safe when you got home last night. You didn’t have time to grab it before you ran out and drove to Hotch’s place. You left it there, in the safe, because you never think twice about it since it’s locked away.

But now…

“Don’t do this, man,” Derek yells. “Put. It. Down.”

“Where is she?” Your partner yells. “Tell me where she is!”

“I’m not telling you shit until you put the gun down,” Derek says, firmly. You’re frozen in place, on the floor next to Hotch’s desk as you listen.

“They have my gun,” you whisper to Hotch. “I didn’t think they— I don’t know how they knew the code, I change it every week, I thought—”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” Hotch shushes you. “You stay here. Do not move. Try to get under my desk if you can.” He pauses. “There’s an extra pistol underneath. I want you to grab it just in case.”

You nod, but then a memory of last night grips you. “No! You can’t go out there!” You hiss, gripping Hotch’s arm.

Outside, you hear Emily’s voice adding to Derek’s, trying to talk your partner down. It’s a scene out of a horror movie. Straight from your worst nightmare.

“They already feel threatened by you, they’ll just shoot you the second they see you.”

“Not when they already have five guns on them.”

“Let me come with you,” you offer.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Aaron, I have eight years of experience talking them down. I know what I’m doing.”

Hotch doesn’t like that you’re right.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. You’re shaking all over, but you still nod.

“Okay. Crawl over and grab the pistol from my desk. Tuck it in your waistband, on your back. Go now.”

You stay low as you crawl over, finding the pistol strapped underneath his desk on the right side. Once it’s tucked in your waistband, you stand, facing the window. Hotch stands too, with his back to the blinds, and thank God they’re closed.

“Is she in there?” You hear your partner scream. “Is she with him?”

“Shit,” you mutter. “Shit, shit, shit, they’re gonna fucking kill me.” You hate that the possibility is very real. They have your gun. They could shoot you the second they see you. You’re not wearing any protective gear.

“No,” Hotch replies. “I’m not letting that happen.”

“Come out here, you lying bitch!”

Hotch looks ready to kill your partner himself.

“Babe?” You call out, putting on a false tone, the same one you always use when talking them down. “Babe, what are you doing here?”

You step into the doorway, feeling another frozen chill of fear shoot straight down your spine. They look crazed. Insane, even. Worse than you’ve ever seen, worse than last night, worse than the last eight years.

“Don’t babe me,” your partner seethes, but the gun is still trained on Derek.

You know it makes no sense, but you want them to turn the gun on you. Not Derek. Derek can’t be hurt because of you, not like this.

“Put the gun down,” you say, trying to stay calm and sweet, the way you usually have to be at home.

“I’m not listening to a damn thing you say,” your partner yells, and then the gun turns on you. “There he is.” The gun isn’t aimed at you. It’s on Aaron.

“Put it down,” Aaron’s level voice floats through the terror roaring in your ears. “I won’t ask again.” He shifts and you realize then that he has his own weapon trained on your partner.

“You won’t need to. Come out from behind my fiancé you coward.”

“She’s not your fiancé,” Hotch says. “And you won’t shoot her.”

“Want to bet on it?” Your partner lowers the gun slightly, now pointing it straight at your chest. Strangely, you don’t feel any panic surge through you. It’s telling. That even now, your head is telling you, they won’t hurt me, they never hurt me before.

“Don’t do it,” Derek yells. “I will shoot you, man. Don’t do it. You have six guns pointed at you right now. Do you really want to do this?”

The metal of Aaron’s pistol bites into your lower back when you shift on your heels. Your arms are frozen by your side, too afraid to reach for the gun.

“Put it down,” Rossi yells.

“You’ve got five seconds,” Derek adds. “Don’t make me get to one. Five. Four.”

Your partner’s fingers twitch on the trigger. Aaron catches the movement. Nods once when Derek says three. And on two, Derek pulls the trigger before your partner can do it first.

A broken scream rips from your chest when the bullet lodges itself in your partner’s side, your gun clattering to the ground. Derek steps forward and kicks the gun further away, out of reach.

Hotch lifts you around your waist and pulls you back into his office, kicking the door closed with his foot.

You’re numb to everything as he sits you down on the couch, wrapping his arms around you as you finally sob, letting out every scream that you’ve been holding in.

+++

Your partner is taken to the hospital to be treated for the gunshot wound.

Hotch tells you they won’t stand a chance at being acquitted, too many charges looming over their head already without the addition of domestic violence. You hardly hear his words, but you nod like you do.

He takes care of you while the commotion outside struggles to calm down. A blanket is wrapped around your shoulders, you hug a pillow to your chest, sniffling every few minutes as fresh tears cascade down your cheeks. Spencer brings you a mug of steaming tea that you barely manage to thank him for. Hotch thanks him properly for you before softly shutting his office door.

For months, you’ve been thinking about leaving them. For so long, you’ve wondered what life might be like without them. Now, you don’t know a thing.

You don’t know what to do. Where to go. Will you have to testify in court? If you do, will you have to talk about the...abuse? The abuse that you can barely bring yourself to label blatantly as abuse even though Aaron, your brain, everyone screams at you that that’s what it is — abusive behavior.

When you were a teenager, and even in your early twenties, learning about signs of abusive, unhealthy relationships, you never thought you’d end up in one. You thought surely you’d recognize the first signs and get out of there.

But instead, you did exactly what they said most people do. You brushed them off. You thought, oh, they just love me deeply, that’s all. They want what’s best for me, that’s all. They want me to be safe and protected, that’s all.

And that’s lovely, but there’s a difference. Between caring and controlling.

You never thought the difference would be so hard to see.

“Come on,” Aaron’s soft voice pierces through your thoughts. “Let’s get you out of here.”

You blink. “Where?”

“Wherever you want to go,” he replies gently. “Your apartment?”

Immediately, you shake your head. But then you pause. Because aside from your apartment and the BAU, you have nowhere else to go.

“Would you be comfortable going back to my apartment?” He asks. “I understand if it’s uncomfortable. I’m sure Garcia or Prentiss would be happy to let you stay with them, and I’ll gladly send them home with you.”

As much as you love Garcia and Prentiss, you strangely feel more comfortable with Aaron. After all, Pen and Emily don’t— or didn’t know about your partner’s behavior. Only Hotch knew.

“If you don’t mind, I’m...I’m okay with your place.”

“I don’t mind at all,” he smiles. “The guest room is yours for as long as you need.”

That makes you smile, though the expression feels foreign on your lips. “Don’t you have to stay?”

“It can be dealt with tomorrow,” he replies. “The paperwork will still exist tomorrow at eight a.m.”

“Okay,” you accept defeat. “Can I take this blanket?” You don’t like the idea of this weight leaving your shoulders.

“Of course,” he says.

You fall asleep in the car.

You didn’t mean to, but you were exhausted. And by the time you woke, Aaron had already carried you into his apartment. Startled, you gripped his arm a little too tight, but he shushed you carefully, letting you know you’re safe, he just didn’t want to wake you because you were sleeping so soundly.

He set you down on the guest bed where you tried and failed to get some rest last night, but now, you sleep like a baby.

+++

Months after the incident, the guest room at Aaron’s apartment has become your temporary home.

You still haven’t been back to the apartment you owned with your partner — even though their name is on the lease, not yours. You went once with Aaron to pick up your clothes and anything else important, but it was a quick trip. You were desperate to get out of there.

Aaron didn’t like what he saw. The broken glass, the dents in the walls. The way your body language changed immediately. Your unwillingness to return there is fine by him.

It’s a slow, uphill battle as you begin to heal. Your partner still sits in jail, awaiting their trial date. You know you might have to testify, but you know your team might have to be there as well, so that makes you feel better.

Aaron has been incredibly respectful of your space. You were the one who brought up the idea of carpooling to work, one of you driving every other day, to save on gas for the both of you. He had assumed you wanted to drive on your own and always have your car — which is true, but you didn’t mind riding with him.

He’s the only one your terrified brain doesn’t seem to be scared of.

And you’re not complaining. You’re grateful to feel a small ounce of safety after feeling every sense of unsafe for the past eight years.

+++

Your ex-partner’s trial comes and goes in the following three months. You did testify, along with the rest of your team, the verdict is guilty. Life in prison.

You wept on the steps of the courthouse from the sheer relief of it all.

“They’ll never hurt you again,” Aaron had told you and you didn’t believe him for one second.

Still now, as you know for a fact they are sitting in a prison cell, you have a small fear. But you think you always will.

You continue “rooming” with Aaron — that’s the best way you can think to put it — and you’ve come to really enjoy the weekends when Jack comes over. At the start, Aaron would try to take Jack out to the park to give you time alone, or you’d go spend some time with Penelope, but after a while, you started staying. And after a little while longer, Jack started warming up to you, and expecting your presence.

One weekend, you hear Jack and Aaron playing in the living room while you’re in Aaron’s office, trying to get some work done. And halfway through signing your name on a piece of paperwork, you hear Jack “whispering” to Aaron about you.

“Do you like her?” Jack whispers, but it definitely comes across as more of a soft shout.

Aaron’s eyes widen, and he presses his index finger to his lips. “A lot,” he says, but you don’t hear him — though you were straining pretty hard.

“Me too,” Jack giggles. “Is she your girlfriend?” He teases, poking his dad with his Lego sculpture.

Aaron pokes his son back with his own design. “No, buddy, she isn’t.” Again, you can’t hear him, but Jack’s question made your heart hammer in your chest.

You know you’ve had some feelings begin to develop because truthfully, they were blooming months ago, back when you began having dinner with Aaron. But then everything happened, and you still loved your ex, and things got too complicated.

Now, though, seven months out from the start of it all, the feelings are still there.

Aaron hasn’t made any moves, so you’ve kept silent. You don’t know how much of his good deeds are simply out of his own kindness. And you certainly don’t want to mistake it for something it’s not.

But kids pick up on things adults try hardest to hide.

You continue with your paperwork, listening to them continue to play.

It’s not until after Jack goes home to Hailey that his question is brought up, and it’s only because Aaron asked what was bothering you.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it,” he says. “But I’m here if you do.”

He’s always here. That’s what made you have a crush on him in the first place, years ago. He’s always there for anyone who needs him.

“I heard you and Jack earlier,” you start. “When he asked if I’m your girlfriend.”

Aaron sighs. “I’m sorry. I think it’s just confusing for him because to him, living together equals relationship since all he’s known is me and Hailey—”

“I’d like to be,” you interrupt his nervous rambling. “If that’s something you’d like, too.”

He blinks a few times, then smiles. “You…” He pauses. “Are you sure?”

“Aaron, I’ve liked you for so long and never said anything—”

“I’ve liked you for so long and never said anything,” he counters. “You’re serious?”

“Very,” you whisper.

When he kisses you, it’s what you’ve longed for all this time. It’s exactly what you’ve been yearning for. It’s exactly the kind of love you know now that you deserve.

Recovery has been messy, and will continue to be messy for some time, but you’ll have Aaron next to you every step of the way. Always.

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