#I’ve reached my photo limit already

[wishfishy]

It’s time for the last ever official Path Report! I’m moving this weekend but I wanted to make time for one final look-around to see what is growing down the little path that runs behind my house.

Starting off strong with one of my favourite flowers to spot, Pink Wintergreen:

There was a whole bunch of Bedstraw everywhere as well:

And the wild roses are mostly done blooming; a bunch of them had rust fungus.

The Nodding Onions are starting to put up some buds:

Alongside the aspen, Saskatoon bushes and wild roses, there are an absolute metric shit-ton of beaked hazelnuts along the path as well:

There were also many of the usual suspects of path-adjacent flowers, like feral Canola:

Vetch:

Cow Parsnip:

Black Medick:

And a personal favourite, Pineapple Weed:

#I’ve reached my photo limit already #so the post will continue in a reblog shortly! #path report

[harryforvogue]

a fic about harry and faye where faye needs to be picked up because it's snowed so bad and also she's feeling very very needy. has smut so be careful. or not. do whatever you like. DO leave feedback though or else i will fucking haunt you

***

Faye calls Harry at around 6pm.

He’s asleep, his iPad abandoned by his side with the pen still between his fingertips. He doesn’t know what time he dozed off, but he’s got to thank Faye for the portable heater she bought him for Christmas. It’s magnificent.

Getting himself out of bed to reach for his phone is difficult. When he finally manages, the only thing that makes him pick up is Faye’s photo.

He brings it to his ear. “Hi, baby.”

Immediately, he can hear the frown in her voice. “Oh no. I woke you up.”

“It’s all right,” he says, rubbing his eyes. “I wasn’t supposed to sleep anyways. I’ll barely get a few hours at night if I nap now.” He brings his phone back to his bed and sits down. “What’s up?”

“Um, well I just finished rehearsals.”

“Yeah? That’s good. Got out early?”

“Yes, it’s snowing pretty bad now.”

“Mm, is it?” He forces himself to get back up and take a peek out his curtains. She’s right; the snow lays on the roads, flurries all around still. “You wanna stay on the phone with me until you get home?”

“That’s kind of the thing. I’ve been at this bus stop for 15 minutes and my app keeps saying the bus is about to come, but the roads aren’t properly cleared so I don’t think it’s coming.”

Harry frowns. “You’re outside?”

“Yeah. I walked to the stop, but it’s like a ghost town here. Nobody’s out driving. The buses may have all been canceled.”

“Oh shit. Are you wearing warm clothes? Gloves and all?”

“Yup.”

“Good. Which stop are you at today? I’ll come get you.”

There’s instant relief in her voice. “Thank you.” She tells him which stop and then sighs softly. “It’s not that cold which is good. I suppose I should sit down on the bench but there’s ice on it and I already slipped while walking here. My butt still hurts.”

Harry groans as he tugs his jacket on and grabs an extra beanie. He shoves his feet into his shoes and grabs his keys. “Don’t tell me that,” he says. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Faye laughs. “I’m okay.”

“Think you can hold on for 15 minutes?”

“Yes, but Harry you have to drive safely, okay? The inner roads aren’t cleared at all.”

Harry sticks a piece of gum in his mouth. “Yeah, love, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

“Wanna stay on the phone with me?”

“Um, I would, but I can barely feel my fingers.”

Harry has to groan again. He’s outside now and thankfully his car isn’t looking too bad. He’ll still need to defrost it a bit. “Faye, you just told me you had gloves!”

“Whoops.”

“Okay, I’m going to hang up, but please try to get warm. Go into one of those shops nearby.”

“The only shop open near me is the chicken shop.”

“Go in there.”

“I don’t like the smell of chicken.”

“I must say that you are insanely difficult today.”

Faye giggles. “I’m not.” She must hear him turn his ignition on. “Okay, bye now. Drive safe.”

“I will.”

She hangs up. Harry has to step out of the car with his snow brush, pushing his way over to clean his windshields. He’s blasting the heat on the inside, and within ten minutes, he’s ready to go. When he gets back in his car, he’s muttering swears, trembling with the cold. “Not that cold, my ass.”

And Faye’s right. The inner roads are horrendous. He drives so below the speed limit, he may as well walk to get her. 15 minutes turn into 20 and by the time he’s pulling up to her bus stop, he’s very worried Faye may be a frozen block of ice. 

Faye wobbles her way over to the car, yanking the door open and all but throwing herself inside. She’s shivering so bad, Harry puts the car in park and reaches over the console to hug her tightly.

“For fuck’s sake, Faye,” he mutters, suppressing a shiver at her cold face pressed into his neck. “I told you to go into the shop!”

“If y-you made me wait any longer, I would have!”

“I drove as fast as I could.”

Harry turns the heat up higher and rubs her arms firmly, trying to get her tight muscles to relax. She’s wearing a winter jacket, yes, but her head is uncovered and she doesn’t even have a scarf. He pulls back to look at her, hoping there’s disappointment on his face. But Faye’s eyes just light up and then she’s lifting her head to get a kiss.

He can’t say no.

He cups her face and softly kisses her. Her lips are cold, but he can still taste the cherry chapstick as if she kept reapplying it every few minutes. She kisses him several more times, but when she places her frozen hands on his neck, he pulls away sharply.

“Faye!” He holds his neck as if wounded. “That’s so cold!”

Faye’s knees bounce. “Sorry!"

She doesn’t look sorry.

He grabs the beanie he’s brought her and throws it onto her head. Her bangs get caught on her forehead, momentarily blinding her, and she laughs, fixing the hat. Her black hair frames her cheeks. She reaches in for another kiss, but Harry stops her with a shake of his head.

“Get warm first. Or else you’ll get hypothermia and then I’ll have nobody to kiss.”

Faye says, “Wow you sound a lot like me.” She holds her trembling hands by the vents, shivering so bad, she’s compelled to make audible noises to show how cold she is, her jaw quivering. Harry starts driving the car again, and once he gets off the main street, he reaches for her hand and holds it in his lap.

“How were rehearsals?”

“Okay,” she says, shoulders shaking. “Maybe people couldn’t come in today because of the snow. I had to do, like, three roles.”

“Opening night is next month, right?”

“Yup. I got you your tickets.”

Harry kisses the back of her hand, squeezing her pale fingertips hard. She's painted her nails dark blue, he notices. “Thank you. Are you hungry?”

“Mhm.”

“Let’s get something to eat then. I don’t have anything at home. Didn’t cook today.”

“Oh. Are we going to yours?”

“Yes.”

“Can I stay over?”

Harry smiles. “Yes.”

“Is Timmy home?”

“Nope.”

“Can we play that video game again?”

Harry sends her a look. “I thought you’d want to watch a movie or something.”

“Well, if you want to. But I had a lot of fun playing that game.”

“Yes, you were so good at it.”

She was not. Harry spent the entire night trying to save her, getting himself killed, and then yelling and begging her to stay alive until he could be revived. Faye had a lot of fun it seems, though Harry wouldn’t say it was a very productive night.

But, if she wants to do it, then they will.

“I feel like I’ll be better tonight,” Faye says, leaning forward to put her face against the air vent. Her eyes flutter shut. “We’ll get to the next level.”

“You mean level two.”

She laughs.

Harry’s pulling up to the take out shop they’ve agreed on when his phone goes off. He answers it on the car’s speakerphone.

“Yeah, mate?”

“Hey,” Timothée’s voice rings out. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m with Faye picking up food.”

“Oh cool. Hey, can you pick me up from the shop, man? My car’s fucking buried.”

Harry sighs. “Yeah, that’s fine. When are you off work?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, I’ll get you.”

“Cool, and hey–”

“Yeah?”

“Can you grab me some food? I’ll pay you back.”

Harry says, “I’ll think about it.”

There’s silence on the other line until Timmy says, “Faye?”

She leans in. “Yeah?”

“Can you make sure he gets me food? I’ll Venmo you right now.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks. Bye!” And then he hangs up.

Harry rubs his eye and then unbuckles his seat belt. Faye goes to do the same, but he stops her, shaking his head. “No, you need to stay warm.”

“I’m fine!”

“Nope.” He locks the car after opening his door and gives her a meaningful look. She watches him disappear into the shop.

When he comes back, he thinks she’s looking a lot better. The red in her cheeks has returned and she’s reapplying her chapstick without shaking fingers. He leans over and kisses her, pleased that her lips aren’t frozen anymore. Unexpectedly, she holds onto his collar and kisses him harder, and she doesn’t let him go until he’s chuckling against her lips and trying to pry away.

“What’s gotten into you?” he murmurs, peppering kisses down to her jaw. She shivers, but not from the cold this time.

“Just missed you.”

“Mm.” He kisses her cheek. “I missed you too.”

It’s a lot harder to drive after that, especially because Harry’s hand rests on Faye’s thigh, and she keeps playing with his fingers, occasionally pulling his hand up to kiss his palm. 

When they get to the shop, Timmy rushes into the car and slaps a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Thank you, man. This is great. Thanks. Hey, Faye.”

“Hi.”

“You’re coming over?”

“Yup.”

“Cool. Did you get me any food?”

“Yes we did.” She hands him the aux cord when he asks for it. They listen to his odd taste in music for the ride home.

Harry takes Faye up to his room when they get home. Timmy’s nearly falling asleep so he eats his food quietly and then heads to his own room with a reminder through the walls that he’d appreciate it if Harry and Faye kept it down.

Faye says, “I don’t know why he always says that,” as she’s climbing into Harry’s lap on his bed in his shirt only. He looks up at her, eyes shining, his hands resting just below her butt. She wraps her arms around his neck. “We’ve never been that loud.”

“I mean I certainly haven’t,” Harry teases, pulling her down onto his thighs.

“Me neither!”

“Sure.”

Faye can’t come up with a response, so she kisses him, and then turns around in his lap, back pressed to his warm, strong chest. He places his hand on her thigh, holding her to him. As he’s setting up the game, she reaches over and grabs his iPad, turning it on to see his latest sketch.

It’s a very daunting looking dragon with detailed wings and scales. She zooms in to see all of it, thoroughly impressed. “This is so cool, Harry!”

“Yeah? Thanks, baby. Had a client say she wanted a big dragon piece so I’ve been brainstorming.”

“Where does she want it?”

“Around her bicep.”

“It must hurt like crazy.”

Harry hooks his chin over her shoulder and hugs her tight to him. “Yeah, but as long as they’re happy with it, right?”

She turns her head to look at him with her devastatingly pretty eyes. “Have you done any cool ones this week?”

He makes a show of thinking really hard. “Did a decent snake two days ago.”

“Ooh. Will you post the pictures?”

“Yeah. Haven’t had the time to.”

Faye cradles his face and kisses his cheek. “I’ll be the first person to like it.”

“You always are,” he murmurs, tilting his head back so she can continue her kisses down his neck.

His eyes flutter shut as Faye’s hands run over his arms, gently pressing herself back against him. He feels her breath hitch.

“Faye,” he softly admonishes. “You said you wanted to play the game.” 

“It’s still loading,” she whispers back, shaking him off to be able to turn in his arms again. The force she kisses him with throws him off. He’s pushed back, hands flying out to steady himself against his mattress. She wraps her legs around him and kisses him breathless, her fingers trailing up the sides of his head and then burying themselves into his curls. She presses herself against him again, and then she gently licks at him. Harry welcomes her tongue when he parts his lips.

She kisses him like she hasn’t been kissed properly in years – which is simply untrue because he kisses her until she forgets her name on a routined basis. Faye presses herself even closer, and when the first whine leaves her throat, Harry’s arms are around her, dragging her hips against his. She sighs as if that small contact between them has caused her such release.

The TV makes a noise to tell them the game has finished loading. Faye’s mouth shows no signs of letting him up. Harry pulls up for a second to breathe, and then kisses her again, leaning into her with his hands spread out against her back. They stay there until he’s sliding his fingers under his shirt that she wears, slowly pushing her until she’s laying on her back and Harry’s hovering over her.

“The game,” he whispers.

“Hm?” she manages, rolling her hips against his again, her eyes both innocent and flirty.

He breathes out a swear and then works on pulling the shirt off of her. Faye shivers immediately, but he kisses down her neck and collarbones to warm her up, letting her adjust when she catches onto what he wants to do. She slides back and lets him move further down her body.

“Harry–”

“Yes, baby?”

She changes her mind when Harry’s fingers hook into her underwear. “Oh. Oh, nothing.”

“Tell me,” he says, dragging them down. 

“Well, it’s only that I thought I’d do this for you. Because you, um, picked me up and I wanted to thank you.”

Harry chuckles. “You can do that after this, but right now I have a feeling you’re going to explode if I don’t touch you. Care to tell me what’s got you so worked up? I fucked you so well just two days ago.”

Faye throws a hand over her eyes and Harry doesn’t know if it’s because she’s forced to answer his question while unclothed or if it’s his words that embarrass her. Possibly both.

“It’s because you came to get me and your voice was so deep and raspy and tired and your hand on my thigh and–”

Harry situates himself between her legs and lets her knees come up besides his head. He kisses her soft inner thighs and wraps his arms around them. Faye lifts her head to glance down at him and then moans softly when he licks into her. Slowly. Teasingly.

Her black hair is fanned out around her, her breath coming hard and fast. Her lips are parted, pink and swollen from their kisses. She looks ruined already. Harry will never get used to the sight. He never wants to.

“Fuck,” she whimpers, throwing her head down. Her eyes flutter shut as Harry leans in and takes over completely, his skilled mouth ruthless against her. His fingers dig into her hips, holding her down though she desperately raises herself to meet his mouth.

“Oh, I love you,” she whispers, threading her fingers into his hair. “So much.”

He sucks and licks and laps diligently until her back is gently arching off his mattress and she has to bite down on her knuckles to keep her noises in. Seeing her like this turns Harry on, his body on alert. He feels like every cell of his body has been electrified, but despite his arousal, all he wants is for Faye to fall apart against him.

It doesn’t take her long. Her thighs tremble. She cries out and yanks his hair. The pain is distant to him. Harry lets her use his tongue to ride out her high, and when she’s done, she’s whimpering from sensitivity. Harry only pulls away when she’s whining, “Ah, okay, okay, that’s it, please. No more.”

He grins at her, gently wiping the corners of his mouth. “Always so good for me.”

Faye covers her face. Harry helps her back into her clothes and then lays beside her until she’s ready to turn to him and kiss him. He kisses her hair. “My darling girl,” he whispers. “My baby. So perfect."

She’s straddling him before five minutes are up, her hands resting on his chest, hair falling like curtains around her flushed face. The strands hit Harry’s cheek. His hands are on her thighs again, and he’s smiling lazily at her.

“I love you too,” he murmurs, running his hand up to her waist. 

Faye swallows and grinds down on his length through his sweatpants. “My turn?”

“We can take a break if you w–”

“No,” she says immediately, fingers already pulling Harry’s shirt up. Her eyes hungrily take in every tattoo she slowly reveals. Harry lifts his head to pull the shirt off.

Faye seems to have something in mind already. So Harry just lets her undress him, enjoying the kisses she trails after her hands. She has plenty of energy, preferring to stay on top of him instead of switching back over. 

She works herself over him until she’s throwing her head back and nearly sobbing with relief. Harry watches the pleasure roll over her, her hands in tight fists against his chest. 

“I love you,” she says again, taking deep breaths when it’s over. Her face is a gentle pink, her chest flushed. “I love you so bad, Harry.”

Once he’s pulled out of her, he’s grabbing her waist and pulling her down to him, wrapping his arms around her tight. “I love you,” he says, kissing all over her face, wiping the corners of her eyes. “My pretty girl, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Spent, Faye lets him cuddle her, her face pressed against his neck. His body is warm and as comforting as always. He mutters how much he loves her several more times.

Some time later again, Faye raises her head from his chest and says in her scratchy voice, “Should we play now?”

And Harry kisses her and says, “Yes, baby.”

#i dont know where this came from #harry and faye #me: i dont write smut anymore #also me at 2am: #oh well #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x oc #harry styles x woc #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff

[explorevenus]

domestic yandere bf!leon headcanons

and by domestic i just mean like no blatant kidnapping n shit like reader and leon have a legitimate relationship but reader has no idea how aggressively he’s pulling strings behind the scenes

btw i’ve had this written out on my laptop for literally two years so a lot of this is ‘something permanent’ adjacent but it’s not specific to that universe (for other obvious reasons skdfjivhes)

here we go:

leon is extremely protective like, to the degree of being paranoid. doesn't like when you go anywhere or do anything by yourself, which for most people would be suffocating, but leon was very strategic about implementing this very slowly over time. little do you know that this sentiment of his applies basically all the time, because what would happen if you were to slip and fall in the shower, or have a bad day at work, or anything else off of the infinite list of terrible things that could happen, and he wasn't there?

leon tries to convince you to quit your job and stay at home to let him take care of you, but you refuse, not wanting to have to rely on him completely, especially before you're married. so naturally he takes that very literally and shortly after you get married, leon has a word with your boss and you’re magically fired on the spot. this of course is a huge shock to you and leaves you extremely depressed, and therefore even more reliant on him.

leon is very controlling of you in subtle ways, but more than manipulative enough to disguise it as simply caring for or looking out for you. going to get something to eat? no need, i'll make it for you! having a shower? mind if i join you? just showering, i promise... you woke up with a tummy ache? call out of work and let me take care of you! your check engine light is on? it's not safe for you to take your car, looks like i'll be giving you rides for a while! no, honey, i don't know why your friends have gone cold and stopped reaching out. that's their loss. now we can spend more time together! he'll even go as far as to purposefully place your things in cabinets he knows you can't reach, just as an excuse to help you grab them when you inevitably need them.

leon has every device you own bugged and cloned, and therefore constant access to your every message, call, photo, and all of your socials, and your location, at all times. he doesn't check them incredibly often when he's home with you, but checks up on you constantly when he's away for work. it's not uncommon for you to conveniently receive a call from him whenever you leave the house, stay late at work, go somewhere other than straight home after work, etc etc

leon has cameras hidden fucking everywhere in your place. inside and outside of the front door, two in the kitchen, two in the living room, three in the bedroom, one in the bathroom, and not only can he check them any time, but he also keeps a good amount of the footage, particularly from the bedroom. for. definitely pure reasons. anyway, you already know he spends every second of his very limited free time on missions just watching you on the cameras. 

leon always wants you to be healthy and well, but he loves taking care of you when you’re sick. you get to call out of work and lay in bed all day while he tends to your every need, and in the hours you spend sleeping it off, he just gets to hold you, and pet your hair, and watch your face, listen to your weak breaths and the little noises you make sometimes. come to think of it, it sure is odd how often you seem to be coming down with colds, given how little time you spend outside of the house to begin with...

leon makes an effort to make you perceive your relationship and his actions as normal as possible. he is incredibly careful to keep this behavior under wraps, and will legitimately tell you anything if it means getting you off of his trail. with his government training in de-escalation, the man is a master manipulator and the CEO of successfully gaslighting. "How was visiting your friends today?" "It was good, how did you know I went to see them, though?" "You told me you were going to when I called this morning." "Did I?" "You did. Or maybe I'm the crazy one and I just made a lucky guess." "Well, I guess I must have, then. Though, between the two of us, I think we can agree I'm the crazy one. I can't seem to remember anything right." "That's why you have me to keep your head on straight, princess."

speaking of princess, pet names ! which he loves. he calls you princess, puppy, angel, doll, honey, baby... he didn't used to use them so often, but he quickly took notice of the liking you’d taken to it when he would, so it became a regular thing. anything to make you blush. you’re just too cute!

mkay we gotta talk about sex <33 under the cut NO MINORS

which leon likes to have very very frequently. obviously he's obsessed with you, and it typically only takes being in the room with you for ten full seconds for him to have a hard time fighting off the image of all the things he wants to do to you. he genuinely finds you attractive, irresistible even, in any condition, whether you’re dolled up for him or depressed in bed wearing the same shirt for three days straight, he's just obsessed with and praising of you and your body.

whiiiiich certainly translates through his love-making. a true master of foreplay, having learned every inch of your body like the back of his hand, he knows exactly how to touch you in ways that grant him the most reaction out of you. this man will seriously edge himself for hours getting lost in playing with you, he's highly skilled at giving head and loves to do so. man’s a total munch. it's a relatively surefire way to get your attention for a while and he takes advantage of this often. 

finishing inside of you is practically a must for him, he finds it so intimate and the deepest way to connect with you and gift you a part of himself. he rarely, if ever, cums anywhere else, and when he does, it's usually on your stomach and/or thighs. i don't see him being particularly interested in actually having children though, considering that would mean taking a considerable amount of your attention and focus away from him, and he wants you all to himself.

^^^ lol anyway 

his fave position(s): missionary, so he can watch your face, but with enough convincing he'll let you ride him sometimes, because you want to-- not that he doesn't enjoy it, he just doesn't want you to have to do any of the work! he prefers to spoil you and just let you relax and enjoy yourself.

#venustext #sintext #resident evil #leon kennedy #yandere!leon kennedy #dark!leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #yandere!leon kennedy x reader #dark!leon kennedy x reader

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor’s Nostalgic Memories Date (Eng Translation)

“You’re my first.”

“You’re my first, too.”

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 旧忆之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

─  

【Subbed Video】    

[Heads-up]: Read the transcript for reading, but  PLEASE DO WATCH THE VIDEO!! THE BGMS, THE VOICE ACTING, EVERYTHING!! (also, yes, I’ve made my real-time reactions 🤪)

───────

【Transcript Version】

【Chapter 1】

Not long ago, Victor received a commemorative book.

The sender is his alma mater, Loveland Central Elementary School, which is about to celebrate its 100th anniversary.

The book is filled with old photos of his school. With unending excitement, I relentlessly search for that familiar figure among them.

Little Victor holding up his award certificates with a composed demeanor, hoisting the national flag with aplomb, or standing on the winner’s podium during the sports meet… all these are images of him I haven’t seen before.

MC: Model student, flag-raiser, long-distance running gold medalist… how many more surprises does this man have in store that I still don’t know about?

?? (Victor): What are you muttering to yourself this time?

I look up and find that Victor has entered the bedroom without me noticing.

MC: I can’t help but feel sentimental~ After all, you were that “kid from someone else’s family” when we were little.

–

[Tidbits]: The term MC uses here is “别人家的小孩,” I guess you’ll understand this better if you are an Asian/ of Asian descendance/ have Asian parents LOL; it’s often used to describe how parents spur their own kids into working harder by often mentioning “the other kid” as a role model who usually excels in many aspects~ :> And MC playfully follows this with– he belongs to her/ they’re a family now. So, she can take pride that “the prized boy” is all hers 🤣💕 (aside from the obvious knife about MC being regretful of missing out on each other’s lives, which comes later~ 🥲)

–

Victor: Someone else’s family?

Watching his cool and collected expression as he arches an eyebrow, I cheekily walk up to him.

MC: Hehe, but now you’re mine~

As I notice him smiling slightly, I can’t help but be insatiable and pull him along to join me in flipping through the photo album.

We have just flipped through a few photos of the “Campus Singing Competition” when the person beside me seems to have seen something, causing his pupils to quiver ever so slightly.

Following his gaze, I catch a glimpse of a young kid with dramatic stage makeup, sporting a red dot on the space between his brows.

Before I can take a closer look, the commemorative book in front of me is abruptly snapped shut.

MC: Wait!

Hastily, I clutch his hand down and carefully inspect the photo. There is actually a small caption below it that reads–– “Little Victor, photographed by Dad”

Astounded, I snatch the book and examine it closely–– the child’s solemn expression, with furrowed brows, is unmistakably identical to that of a certain someone I know so well.

I stare at Victor in utter disbelief, while he seems to have already resigned himself and closed his eyes.

MC: Hahahaha–– you’re so cute, hahaha!

Victor: …stop laughing, give me back the book.

MC: Alright, but you have to agree to one condition of mine.

Victor: ...you sure know how to make demands.

MC: Don’t want to agree? Well, then I might just turn you into an emoji pack, huh?

Victor takes a deep breath as if he has reached the limit of his patience. He then takes out his phone, quickly taps on the screen, and holds it to his ear.

Victor: I had planned to bring a certain someone along to visit the school when I’d sign the contract to donate to the school building.

Victor: But since the photos seem enough to satisfy you, I think I’m gonna talk to the school about reducing your title to a colleague.

Hearing his words, I immediately grab his arm, displaying a sincere expression.

MC: Why didn’t you tell me about the building donation before? I’m not laughing anymore, I promise!

He arches an eyebrow and moves his phone a few inches away, as if waiting for me to offer a bigger bargaining chip.

I narrow my eyes and steel myself.

MC: I’ll give you three of my embarrassing childhood photos!

Victor: Deal.

Hearing a muffled chuckle in my ears, I suddenly realize what’s going on. I seize his phone and, sure enough, find that the screen is still locked.

MC: …you’re so childish, Victor!

Despite my reproach, he remains composed and raps my head.

Victor: He who touches ink becomes black, you know?

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 2】

Victor: …wish strips?

An old metal box is gently placed on the table, inside of which is stacked with many pieces of weathered papers, tinged with a yellow hue.

After the completion of the donation contract signing, only three people remain in the empty conference room— the two of us and the principal.

Principal: When I learned that you were coming back, I inquired with your homeroom teacher about anything that might have been left behind from back then, and she really found it.

Even as I try hard to focus my attention on their conversation, an inevitably innate urge drives me to reach out and flip through the wish strips with my fingers, looking for a certain one.

Soon, a weathered piece of paper catches my eyes, with meticulously and neatly penned six letters that form the name “Victor.”

However, before I can reach my hand for it, a large hand with slender fingers lands on top of the paper––

Forced by the seriousness of the atmosphere we are in now, I can do nothing but watch helplessly as Victor nonchalantly slips the note into his pocket.

Victor: If there’s anything else you need help with in the future, please feel free to contact me again.

Principal: Thank you, Little Vic. Despite your remarkable achievements in the outside world, you still haven’t forgotten your alma mater.

–

[Tidbits]: I’m freaking crying, haha–– look at his Principal still calling this grown-ass man “小李 (Xiao Li)” aksdknld– the sheer adoration you can’t let go of despite the admiration a person has achieved from you– 🥺 

–

Victor: You’re too kind. On a different note, I wish to take my girlfriend on a tour of the school later. I wonder if it would be convenient?

Principal: Absolutely! You two are welcome to wander around and have a good time.

–

It’s summer vacation, and the campus is absolutely empty.

The continuous symphony of cicadas seems to transport me through countless summers, carrying me to the past that belongs to him.

Hand in hand, we walk beneath the shade of the sycamore tree, retracing the journey captured in old photos, from the faintly plastic-scented crimson athletic track to the library, and eventually arriving at his former classroom.

–

MC: Where would you sit back then?

Seeing him pointing to a seat in the back row, I press against the window frame and peer inside, yearning to glimpse that small figure across the boundaries of time and space.

MC: Do you have any special memory from your elementary school days?

Victor: What do you mean by special?

MC: Copying homework? Not paying attention in class? Or maybe… puppy love?

It seems like he’s heard something that displeased him; a slight frown creeps onto his face, and he gives me a subtle, scrutinizing look.

Victor: [strikes immediately LMFAO]  Your elementary school life was this eventful and colorful? It seems like I underestimated you a little.

MC: Of course not; I didn’t do anything of the sort! I’m just simply curious about your school life~

Victor: It was like any regular elementary school student’s life–– attending classes, doing homework after school, and occasionally playing soccer. Nothing out of the ordinary–– 

Suddenly, the sound of a series of brisk footsteps interrupts his words. Before long, two kids carrying backpacks appear at the far end of our sight.

Little Boy: Did you check? If you forget to bring your homework again, I won’t come with you next time.

Little Girl: I’ve really brought it this time! Where should we go to do our homework today?

Little Boy: The library.

Little Girl: But we need to stay quiet in the library, and I won’t be able to talk with you there.

Little Boy: …let’s go to the burger joint then.

Watching their departing figures from behind, I tug at the corner of Victor’s clothes.

MC: Have you ever done homework together with other kids?

Victor: Might have done some group assignments at some point.

MC: With you sitting next to them, their study efficiency must have gotten a massive boost. I’m really envious of those classmates who had the chance to do homework with you…

Hearing me say this, Victor’s face takes on a curious and contemplative expression.

Victor: Don’t be envious. I’ve got an idea.

MC: What do you have in mind?

Victor: It just so happens that I have to work tonight. You can bring in your unfinished proposal, and we can “do homework” together.

MC: …I’ll pass. Even a dummy can tell the difference between a friendly invitation and being supervised by a capitalist.

As we are talking, I see the kids from earlier run out of the convenience store in front of the school gate.

With delight on their faces, they share a pack of crisp instant noodles. The savory and crispy aroma from afar feels as if it reaches the tip of my teeth as well.

Just like me, Victor turns his head toward the source of the noise. Upon seeing his reaction, I immediately reach out and take his hand.

MC: Wanna go to the convenience store? It’s my treat!

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 3】

The store is not big, but it boasts a diverse selection of snacks arranged on the shelves.

However, my eyes are drawn to a seemingly ordinary pack of candy tucked away in the corner. Memories of my elementary school days rush back, when this candy was all the rage for playing pranks, and I also couldn’t resist tasting it once myself––

Even at this very moment, the fast secretion of saliva in my mouth is a vivid reminder of its “special” flavor.

Filled with curiosity, I pick up the candy and shake it at Victor.

MC: This candy used to be so popular back in the day. Have you ever tried it?

Victor: Nope, I haven’t.

MC: Your childhood is missing just a little something, then.

Victor: If being a glutton is your yardstick, you probably had the most complete childhood in the whole world.

Listening to his playful banter, I silently make up my mind to tease him a little. I grab the candy and settle the bill.

Just imagining the look on his face when he tastes the sourness makes me involuntarily curl my lips into a smile. However, realizing that his gaze is fixed on my face, I hasten to temper my smile.

MC: Victor, may I fill in the missing pieces of your childhood?

Victor: No need.

Ignoring his attempt to decline with a shake of his head, I affectionately bring a candy close to his lips.

MC: Come on, give me some face! I never asked any boy students out for snacks back when I was in school. You’re my first.

Upon hearing my words, his motions pause momentarily, and he stares at me fixedly with downcast eyes.

Just when I think he’s going to reject me again, he softly lets his lips part, lowers his head, and eats the candy from my hand.

I instantly widen my eyes, not wanting to miss any nuance of his expression. But all I see him is chewing the candy nonchalantly without any changes in his demeanor.

This isn’t right… could they have changed the recipe? Puzzled, I pop a candy into my mouth, but as soon as it touches my tongue, I grimace from the sourness.

MC: Sss! So sour!

Victor seems to can’t hold back and bursts into laughter.

Victor: Mmm, it’s indeed sour.

MC: You did that on purpose!

As my indignant glare meets his eyes, he arches an eyebrow in response.

Victor: You sure have a talent for turning the tables. But speaking of doing it on purpose—

Victor: Back when I was in school, I never teased or played with any girl students, either. You’re my first, too.

The candy in my mouth still gives rise to an unending stream of sourness, yet I can distinctly taste a sweet flavor.

Victor: So happy that you’re in a silly daze?

Upon hearing his teasing, I  realize I’ve been rooted to the spot and giggling like a silly person this whole time. I quickly pretend to be composed and divert the topic.

MC: I was thinking that we visited all the locations where each of the old photos was taken, except for one that slipped through the cracks!

MC: Where was that adorable picture of you with the red dot between your brows taken?

Victor: Why do you always apply your surplus obsession in places where it’s not necessary?

MC: Humph, it took me so much effort to get you to bring me here. Even if I have to dig the school three feet deep today, I’ll definitely find it!

Seeing me steadfastly staring at him, he lets out a sigh and helplessly takes my hand.

Victor: My alma mater had to spend so much effort to reach the lifespan of a hundred years. I’m not letting it be dug up by you.

—

We’re obviously supposed to be searching for the location of the photo. However, Victor brings me back to his old family home, which is currently empty.

Before I can even ask anything, my gaze is captivated by a rather extravagant box of jewelry on the foyer table.

As I let out a small gasp of surprise, Victor also glances over, and his expression turns somewhat speechless.

Victor: Aunt Grace purchased these during her trip abroad. She said you might get tired of seeing me in formal attire, so I should occasionally change things up…

MC: Pfftt! Why didn’t she just send them to you directly?

Victor: Because I declined. She probably planned to take a roundabout approach and ask my dad for help.

MC: Well, that works out perfectly. There’s no need to bother Uncle.

I “obligingly” pat my chest as an expression of “taking responsibility” and put the ornaments in my bag.

MC: But you didn’t especially bring me here just to pick this up, right?

Victor shoots me a wordless glance and then points toward the flower house ahead.

–

Victor: Not just the head is slow, the eyes are slow too.

MC: Hey, you meanie…

After a few seconds, I’m suddenly taken aback, my eyes widening. I pull out the photo from the commemorative book and compare it to the flower house before my eyes. To my surprise, it turns out to be exactly the same.

MC: This photo was actually taken at home?

Victor: After I came back from the performance, the teacher notified us that we needed to take a photo.

MC: But I thought you would remove your makeup right after the performance!

Victor: You’re right. I did wipe it off as soon as I got off the stage. But my dad deliberately used a red seal ink paste to reapply that dot.

Seeing the awkward look on his face, I can’t resist the urge to tease him and fish out the lipstick from my bag.

MC: How is it fair if you just make do with a red seal ink paste? Since the other kids have it on, you should too.

Victor: …I should not have told you.

He firmly grasps my unruly hand, but I use my left hand to snatch the lipstick and persistently keep inching closer to him. At this point, I’m practically draped onto his body.

Just as the lipstick is about to touch his forehead, he suddenly looks behind me.

Victor: Dad, you’re back.

I jump off him in a panic, and with my eyes closed, I immediately bow towards the entrance.

MC: Hello, Uncle!

After waiting for quite a considerable amount of time without any response, I’m beginning to feel slightly puzzled when I hear a soft chuckle from above me.

Victor: Turns out that there are still ways to restrain a certain someone’s out-of-control unruliness.

I raise my head and see that there is no one at the entrance.

Seeing the smirk of triumph in his eyes, I let out a “humph” and decide to turn the tables against him. At this moment, I coincidentally spot the wish strip peeking out from his pocket because of our earlier playful fooling around.

But he’s guessed my intentions, and almost simultaneously, he presses his fingertips on the slip of paper along with me. This results in a brief standoff as neither of us releases our hold.

The silent confrontation lasts for a few seconds until I pout, and that’s when I hear him let out a resigned sigh of compromise. I finally have my wish fulfilled and get my hands on his wish strip.

The paper has already yellowed and become brittle, but the carefully and neatly written words haven’t faded even a bit during the overlong passage of time––

“I want to grow up fast so that I can find her.”

Caught off guard by intruding into the “secret” of his past, I somehow feel a mixture of indescribable emotions flooding my heart.

How come he never mentioned to me that he had such a wish before? I can’t help but lift my eyes to look into his.

And he stares at me for a long, long time, as if he too wants to glean something from my expression. His lips twitch, but he doesn’t utter a single word even after a long time passes by.

Seeing him hesitate like this, I decide to be the one to break the silence first.

MC: Haha, I didn’t expect your wish to be so sincere and honest.

MC: But don’t worry, who didn’t have some little secrets in their childhood? I’ll just pretend I didn’t see it!

Victor: Little secret?

He doesn’t seem to have expected me to say this, causing him to evidently be stunned for a moment. But soon, a glint of playfulness sparks in his eyes.

Victor: Well, that’s a shame. I was originally going to share it with you, but since a certain dummy isn’t curious––

Victor: I guess I’ll just have to leave it be.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 4】

He has really done what he said, not uttering a single word of explanation.

He even seems to be in high spirits as he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, as if he does not feel my indignant glare fixed on him at all.

Victor: Let’s celebrate together.

MC: Celebrate what?

Victor: I’m really lucky; my wish has come true.

With a hint of tenderness crested between his eyebrows and in his eyes, he uncorks the wine bottle. “Pop”–– the celebration begins, but I feel as if it’s my heart that has begun to deflate.

I push down the bitter feelings in my heart and take a sip of my drink.

MC: Congratulations to you, then.

Victor: Why does this “congratulations” sound a bit like you’re saying it against your will?

Being relentlessly pressed by his step-by-step advances while he is greatly amused, I suddenly feel a mix of embarrassment and anger soaring into my chest.

MC: How should I congratulate you then? Do you want me to take a photo of you for comparison to prove that you’ve grown up properly, just as you wished?

Victor: Sure, how do you plan to take the photo for me?

Originally, it was just an impulsive remark I made out of anger. But his reply suddenly causes me to choke, rendering me momentarily speechless. I can’t help but feel a little itch in my teeth.

However, upon glancing at the extravagant jewelry box in my bag, I narrow my eyes.

The next second, I push him onto the couch and start “hanging” all the jewelry on him without even asking him.

Victor: …are you decorating a Christmas tree?

MC: Since we are taking new photos in the once familiar place, you naturally have to dress up enough like an adult to give them the true value of commemoration.

However, I gradually realize that the ornaments on him don’t look over the top at all; instead, they make him look even more exquisite.

Seeing this, I wickedly pull open a section of his collar, exposing a large expanse of sculpted muscles that charges into my eyes. I can’t help but gulp at the sight.

Victor: Is this how a certain dummy defines an adult?

MC: Why? Can’t I do this?

Hearing his soft chuckle, I huff in anger as I mutter under my breath.

The next second, my wrist is clasped in place, and I find myself falling into his arms. That familiar scent of his hems me tightly.

Victor: Of course you can. But I think there’s still a bit of room for enhancement.

His warm breath grazes my ear now and then, making my heartbeat accelerate involuntarily.

Realizing that my chance to counterattack is slipping through the cracks, I inwardly compose myself and tilt my head slightly, forcefully suppressing my racing heartbeat.

Aiming my gaze at the lipstick on the table, I immediately come up with a plan.

MC: You’re absolutely right; there’s still room for enhancement. It was my bad. I still need to mark you like an adult––

I grab the lipstick and apply several thick coats on my lips, then seal it with a big kiss on his cheek.

The corners of his lips twitch slightly, seemingly evident that he didn’t anticipate my move at all. After a brief moment, he just casually leans back against the couch.

Victor: Have you finished all your preparations for taking the photo?

Looking at his face painted with the mark of my kiss, I nod in satisfaction.

He raises an eyebrow at my reaction, then pulls me closer to him once again.

Victor: Now it’s my turn.

Victor: Photos that hold the true value of commemoration should be taken alongside the witness testimony who made my wish come true.

MC: Witness testimony? Me?

Victor: Is there a third person here?

Victor rubs his temples helplessly, but the smile hanging at the edge of his lips seems to validate the daring conjecture harbored in the depths of my heart.

MC: The “her” you wrote about in your wish strip… it’s me?

Victor: You dummy, who else could it possibly be except you?

Without a moment’s hesitation, he admits it candidly.

In this instant, my heart feels as if it has been drenched.

The mottled wish strip in front of me is akin to the tip of an iceberg I have somehow peered into. It reminds me that in places I’ve never seen, millions of emotions lie buried that I still don’t know about and have yet to fathom.

And those deep eyes of his, which have been fixed on me all along, are so honest and sincere without the slightest concealment, make me surer than ever that––

The impact of our childhood encounter, the bond that forged our destinies together, perhaps runs much deeper than I had ever imagined it to be possible.

It turns out that I have already had my place in his past long ago.

By the time I speak again, my tone has already become joyful.

MC: Ah–– it turns out I had already become your heart’s desire so, so early on. I must have had quite the charm back when I was little, huh~

Victor: …I really underestimated how thick-skinned you can be.

He laughs involuntarily and watches me quietly for a while. The light in his gaze becomes even deeper and more earnest.

Victor: But MC, when I say “I’m lucky,” it’s not because I found the little girl from my past.

Victor: It’s because of the fortunate circumstance–– that little girl turned out to be you.

I instinctively find myself rooted to the spot, feeling a tingling itch sprouting in my heart, as if a wobbly little flower has blossomed within me.

It’s not until he takes hold of my hand that I finally snap out of it. Accompanied by the silky smooth touch of his fingertips, an English word takes form on the glass wall of the flower room –– Morii.

MC: What does it mean?

He lowers his gaze to look at me, his eyes seemingly concealing a subtle smile.

Victor: Originally, for me, those past days were nothing but ordinary moments, days that I would never want to look back on.

Victor: But the moment you stepped inside and looked around, those old times suddenly came to life again.

Victor: Perhaps it’s the gift of a certain dummy; you’ve always made me want to keep holding onto these moments that exist because of you.

His gentle voice is reminiscent of a feather landing in my heart, creating concentric ripples of waves.

I find myself unable to contain my giggle and lean in closer to him.

MC: Then let’s keep holding onto it.

He is slightly stumped for a moment but soon understands the meaning of my words and turns on the camera, aiming it at us. From beginning to end, those eyes of his gazing at me have held a perpetual interplay of tender and fervent glimmers.

Lifting myself up on my toes, I approach the figure that is also drawing closer to me.

Two throbbing hearts appear to have traversed the confines of endless dusty time, seeking solace in each other’s arms time and time again.

Right at this moment, the flash of the camera lights up.

────────

[Tidbits]: Didn’t wanna break the immersion, so kept it for the last here. The word Victor led MC to write together, i.e., “Morii” means the “desire to capture a fleeting moment that cannot be retained.” It’s basically the ephemeral nature of life, the reminder of everything inevitable. It’s like a time in which you expect the least, a time in which that moment spontaneously confronts you, but there is nothing you can do to preserve it— and the desire to do all you can to keep that moment to yourself is “Morii.” And if you know Victor and Victor x MC’s story, I’m sure you understand why it’s so important that they wrote it together, or rather MC instinctively followed his strokes without asking why— (இ﹏இ`｡)❤️

—

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

[Anika’s Long Analysis & Ramblings]

───

#SCREAMING INTO MY HANDS EVEN NOW. PEOPLE READ THIS DATE WATCH THE VIDEO READ THIS DATE WATCH THE VIDEO AJSJDJDHF #also analysis + rambling word count: twelve hundred plus 🤗🫠 #AKSHDHDJFHJ I JUST — WEEPING SCREAMING THROWING HANDS I LOVE HIM SO FCKING MUCH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AJDHDGHHDH #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #李泽言 #恋与制作人 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

hii i was wondering if u could write ethan and reader having their first kiss in a photo booth? ur writing is outstanding btw i love it 💕

Hiiii, it's a little short, but I hope you like it:)

Kiss Me Again - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Summary: You've been on a few dates with Ethan, and the most he's done is hold your hand, until he finally gets the courage to kiss you.

A/N: If you have a request submitted, I promise I'm working on them:)

Ethan wanted to spend the day with you. He’s spent the last week planning out the perfect date, and he’s hoping he’ll finally get the courage to kiss you. You’ve been on two dates so far, and at the end of the night, he starts to fear rejection. You’ve sent him plenty of signals that it’s okay, but he isn’t picking up on them.

You’d already had a really sweet picnic at the park when Ethan drove you to the movie theater. You see a poster for your favorite movie of all time on the wall that’s having a limited showing, and you started to get excited.

“Is that what we’re seeing?” you asked, a huge grin on your face.

“If this isn’t proof that I listen to everything you say, I don’t know what is,” he laughed, grabbing your hand as he walked up to the counter to buy the popcorn and drinks.

As you sat in the theater, you looked around to see a few couples that weren’t paying attention to the movie, and more attention to each other. You started to get a little sad, because you wanted that with Ethan. You just wanted him to kiss you. You needed that affection.

As the movie played, he intently watched it, and you liked that he was enjoying something that’s important to you.

“That was so good! I can’t believe I haven’t watched it sooner,” he said, as you walked up to the arcade in the theater.

“I’m happy you enjoyed it, too,” you said, smiling over at him.

You played a few different games together, him losing most of them. He was surprised by how competitive you could be.

“Hey, I have an idea,” he said, as you walked up to the photo booth, “I think it’d be cool for us to have some silly photos together.”

“I agree,” you said sliding the curtain open.

As the two of you sat close, waiting for the thirty second countdown to be over for the pictures to start snapping, he kept looking between your eyes and your lips.

“I’ve really been having fun with you,” he said, smiling.

“I’ve been having fun with you too! Oh, the countdown is almost over,” you said, as you both turned your attention to the screen in front of you.

You did goofy pose after goofy pose, until the last one. He reached over to your chin, turning your face towards his. You felt your heart pounding in your chest and butterflies in your stomach as he leaned closer and placed his lips on yours. He kissed you a few more times before you both stepped out, grabbing the strip of pictures that were printed out.

You laughed as you looked over the photos, until you made it to the last one. You couldn’t stop smiling, so happy that it finally happened.

“This one’s my favorite,” he said, as he pointed to the last photo.

“Mine too,” you said, standing on your tippy toes to kiss him again.

#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #scream

[crackedpumpkin]

Heyyyy! Do you still do tmnt 2012 fics? If so can you write a Donnie x fem reader one shot? it could go like this: reader has been friends with the turtles for a while and developed feeling for Donnie and has been struggling to confess cuz he still has a thing for April

-🪁 anón

a/n: Hello lovely kite anon!! I absolutely adore this request and did my best for 2012 Donnie, so I really hope you enjoy this! He always deserved better imo, writers did April so dirty

|| ᴏʙʟɪᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ || 2012! ᴅᴏɴɴɪᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ||

“So, the usual?” 

Donnie looks up from his tinkering, nodding at you gratefully with a tired smile. His eyes are surrounded by dark circles, having stayed up the past few days to finish working on the Shellraiser.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try something new? Be adventurous?” You ask, already calling the pizza place you usually order from. 

“What would you suggest?” 

“Hawaiian pizza.” 

“Surely you jest,” Donnie frowns at the suggestion, your joking tone making him relax slightly. Surely you wouldn’t. You give him a nonchalant shrug, starting to speak to the staff that picks up the phone.

“One large Hawaiian Pizza, please, with extra pineapples.”

The wrench clatters to the floor. He sits upright, eyes wide, when he registers your words. “That’s it; you’re no longer welcome at the lair.”

You chuckle with a roll of your eyes as he resumes his tinkering. “And another large pepperoni pizza as well.” You add before giving them the address of the alleyway and hanging up.

You see him breathe a sigh of relief, walking over and peering over his shoulder at the gadget he’s tinkering with. “So, what’s the progress on the Shellraiser?” You ask, intrigued by the device on his desk. 

He’s about to answer, but his phone buzzing distracts him. He checks the screen, and a photo of April shows up. “One sec,” He holds up a finger to you, immediately picking up her call.

You purse your lips, slightly displeased by how he brushed you off so quickly. You try to shrug off the uncomfortable sensation that settles on your shoulders, sitting down on his seat and spinning around while scrolling through social media. 

You hoped it wasn’t about April coming over again. You had been looking forward to your movie night for weeks. Especially after you had finally mustered up the courage to ask him, only for him to take it as a friendly hangout instead of a date. You hesitated in correcting him, as he was still blinded by love for April.

You held nothing against the girl; you had seen how she looked at Casey Jones. But you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Donnie; you couldn’t handle the guilt of the heartbreak he’d go through.

It’s almost pitiful how you always push aside your feelings to make him happy. April needs help with an essay? Sure, you wouldn’t mind him ditching you for that instead. April wants to rant about friends at school? Of course, you didn’t mind him leaving the middle of a gaming session to rush over to her place.

But the ache in your heart worsens with every prick of envy whenever he prioritizes her instead of you. 

This is what having a one-sided love is like, you suppose. However, you’re quickly reaching your limit to how much heartache you were willing to take. But after weeks of him putting off the movie night in favour of hanging out with April, surely he wouldn’t do it again, right? Not after you had explicitly said you had looked forward to it.

“You won’t believe this! April’s coming over because she needs help with her chemistry homework! I’m sorry, Y/n, can we postpone movie night? You don’t mind, do you?” Donnie asks, already knowing that you’d understand.

A flicker of irritation pricks your heart, and you cross your arms. “Again? You already kept putting off movie nights because of her. I’ve been waiting for weeks, even rented the DVD for the fifth time, Donnie.” You can feel the annoyance in your tone, unable to hide it any longer. You cross your arms, almost glaring at him.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I’ll reimburse you the amount. How about we hang out tomorrow instead?” Donnie offers, still absentmindedly tinkering away.

“But for now, since she’s coming over, could you give us some privacy?” He asks with a sheepish grin, his eyes full of dumbstruck love when he glances at the picture of her on his phone.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’d absolutely love that.” You mutter snarkily, all the warmth gone from your voice.

"What?" The skin above Donnie's autumn brown eyes furrows, surprised by your sudden remark. 

You stare at the floor, words strangled in your throat as you debate whether or not to say what's on your mind.

“I’m tired of seeing you always rush to her with a simple call of your name, a single flick of her finger. When it comes to her, nothing else matters to you. Not even me.”

“That’s not true, Y/n.” Donnie tries to defend himself, wondering what it was he said that triggered this sudden outburst from you.

“Yes, it is, and you don’t see that there’s better out there for you. You don’t notice at all.”

“What’re you talking about?” Now he’s even more confused, worry filling his chest as he processes the pain in your eyes. Maybe you had watched another sad show again, which was why you reacted this way.

He didn’t think you’d mind since you always brushed it off like it was nothing, so why was this time any different?

"You don't know what it feels like, Y/n, to be stuck in a one-sided relationship." Donnie chuckles, not really minding your earlier response. 

You frown, standing up and walking over to stand opposite where he sits at his desk. Anger pricks your eyes as you start to feel them water. 

"I know how it feels, Donnie. Because I like you."

You’re horrified as soon as you blurt out the words, hands gripping his desk so tightly the skin on your knuckles turns white. 

He glances up at you with pure shock; your confession is the last thing he expected. His jaw goes slack, lips parted in an 'o'. 

"I hate how you'd do anything for her, choose her over anyone any day —choose her over me. It frustrates me because I know you deserve better." You brush your fingers through your hair, sighing exasperatedly as you ramble. May as well say everything since you had already confessed anyway.

"Just... forget it." You finally calm yourself down, pink dusting your cheeks when you realize what you've just done. You leave the lab, heading back home to scream into your pillow.

Donnie watches you leave, still in shock, as he processes the sudden confession that had come out of the blue.

April walks in moments after, his eyes still trained on the door you left through.

"Donnie? Are you good?" April waves her hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his dazed state.

"Y-yeah," He replies flusteredly, using his arm to push aside the tools scattered on his desk to make space for the girl he's had a crush on since day one.

"So, I'm confused about this part of molecular biology." He can barely register April's words, his thoughts drifting back to the pure pain that clouded your face earlier.

Have you always felt that way?

Why hadn't he noticed? 

"-onnie? Donnie!" 

He's returned to reality again when April calls his name, looking down at her with an apologetic smile. 

"Seriously, what's going on?" April asks worriedly.

He hesitates. "Y/n confessed to me…" He admits quietly, fidgeting with his fingers and tapping them against each other.

A slow grin spreads across April's lips. "She did?? About time!!" 

"W-wait, you knew?" Donnie asks, shocked by this sudden revelation. April nods eagerly, eyes shining with joy as she leans in. 

"So? What'd you say?"

"I didn't say anything." Donnie rubs the back of his neck, guilt consuming him from how he reacted earlier.

April leans back in her seat, crossing her arms with a disapproving glance. "You should call her. This homework isn't due until the end of the week anyway." She shuts her laptop, Donnie watching her leave after she gives him an encouraging thumbs up.

"You guys would make a cute couple." She remarks casually, making her exit.

Donnie's left in his lab, alone. He picks up his phone, scrolling through his contacts until your name appears. He gulps, suddenly nervous.

You were clearly angry from how you stormed out of his lab. But he presses down on your name on the screen, a picture of you appearing on the screen as he calls you.

His stomach feels funny, nauseous even. He gnaws on his bottom lip, eyes darting around his lab as anticipation grows with each ring.

You pick up the call on the way back home from the lair.

"Hello?" You ask hesitantly. Maybe this call was him rejecting you. Your heart clenches in pain at the thought, taking a nervous breath.

On the other end of the phone, Donnie's lips part. He can't think of any words to say, his mind going blank when he hears your voice.

However, one thought lingers in his mind — the question on the tip of his tongue. He swallows the sudden lump in his throat, licks his dry lips, and starts to speak.

"How long?"

#2012 Donnie #tmnt 2012 #donnie x reader #Donnie x reader #Donnie x you #tmnt donnie x reader #2012 donnie x reader #tmnt #asks #requests #tmnt requests

[mrs-mactavish]

From the prompt list, how about #31 “shut that mouth of yours before i shut it for you” for Soap?

Let's get spicy 🌶😈🧼

MAN ON THE SCREEN

a/n: I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!! sixth form has hit me like a truck and i have work which is the length of both my arms 🧍‍♀️ i’ll be back on track and i’ve already made around 10 plans for future fics which will be coming soon!! i’m in the process of actually writing in detail for 4 of them which include another Soap (angst but i’m adding 3 alternate endings which you can choose from), pure fluff for Valeria, fluffy Ghost and a cute Gaz fic 🤭 ANYWAY please enjoy this attempt of smut, i tried my best <3

(HE’S HONESTLY ADORABLE!!)

summary: Johnny is mostly a soft caring lover but after commenting on one particular man a little too much, he reminds you exactly who you belong to

contains: handjob (slight), jealous(ish) Soap, blowjob, nipple play (slight), hickeys/markings, p in v, dom!Soap, sub!reader, rough sex

word count: 2.0k

taglist: @pumpkinsunexpectedadventure @icemansgirl1999

———

Soap was finally home from a 3 month long mission. That was the worst 3 months of your life spent crying at night into his pillow which still lingered with his scent and worrying, wondering if your beloved boyfriend would make it back home. Despite the amount of times you’ve been through this, Johnny has never failed to come home with his arms open wide for you.

Although Johnny had just come home in the last few days, you knew he’d be leaving again soon due to how demanding his job is. He serves his country and it makes you proud to be his girlfriend. Whenever you go into work you show Johnny off with any chance you get, letting your friends see photos that he sends. Typically they’re pretty sweet or corny photos of him posing ridiculously with Alejandro or making the heart symbol with his hands for you. Once he did it with his feet…

Obviously there are also a few photos which you wouldn’t dare show your work friends due to the nature of them.

Intimate moments with Johnny weren’t dominantly rare but you definitely savoured those moments between the two of you as they were special. Most of the time all Soap wants to do is go on a sweet romantic walk in the woodland areas in which you lived then settle down to watch a movie back home before falling asleep with your limbs intertwined.

Due to the limited time you had with your boyfriend, he was rarely rough with you whenever you had sex. One night you brought it up after having a 5-hour long love making session to which he continued to play with your hair and explained that ‘he wants to cherish you, not ruin you with what little time he has home’. It’s quite sweet but there are times where you wish he’d just take full control and show you exactly what he can do.

Today you wanted to try and make him reach a point where he would break. You knew he got slightly jealous of some of the actors you would compliment ‘a little to heavily’, according to him. Of course you’d tell him it was nonsense and that he’s the only man you’d ever want, which is completely true. Johnny wasn’t like any other parter you’ve ever had; he was so loving, caring, attentive and understanding.

This is how you ended up like this; sprawled out on the sofa with Johnny laying on top of you, his head resting on your chest while his hands traced patterns on your thighs. You were threading your fingers through the strip of his mohawk while your eyes were focused on the film. Although your eyes were focused, your mind certainly wasn’t. The only thing you could think about was winding your beloved boyfriend up, trying to find the perfect moment during the film to talk about ‘how attractive’ the male character was which soon came on screen. The character was shirtless and working out in the gym so this was perfect.

“Man, his muscles look amazing…” you murmured but loud enough for Johnny to hear. He lifted his head up slightly and stared up at you slightly confused.

“What’s that, bonnie?” Soap asked, his eyes looking back into yours. You let out a slight giggle and continued. “His muscles… God, I’d do anything for a man like that to take me.”

Johnny continued to look back at you, extremely fumbled as you why you were suddenly making these comments. He cleared his throat and smirk at you. “He might be muscly but he’s nothing compared to your boyfriend, aye?”

“Sure honey but look at him! I bet he’s amazing in bed” you said with a slight dreamy look in your eye. This then aggravated Johnny, he was not fully sitting up on his knees with his eyes slightly crinkled.

“Seriously y/n? What about me?” he questioned, extremely intrigued to know why you were saying this.

“I love you baby but I’m just saying… he could take control over me any time” you admitted, throwing your hands up in defeat. Suddenly there was a change in Soaps demeanour. His eyes no longer looked loving but dark and clouded, his chest was beginning to rise and fall at a quick pace, his hands slowly forming into fists.

“You might want to change that attitude bonnie, I’m warnin’ you” he murmured, his face lowering closer to yours. “It’s nothing against you Johnny, its just that he seems like the… dominant type and I like that”

“So this is what it’s about then, aye? You don’t like me going soft and sweet on you?” he asked, a playful tone evident in his voice. Deciding to put the final nail in the coffin, you whispered in Johnnys ear.

“I bet he knows how to please a woman…”

That was it. He moved you so quickly, you couldn’t register him swinging your body over his shoulder as he made his way up the stairs, your head ever so slightly knocking against his back with every step he took.

“You should be careful with what you say to me bonnie, I won’t go easy”

When you made it to your shared bedroom, Johnny slowly and gently planted you to the floor, then slowly pushed you down onto your knees by your shoulders. Even when he was supposed to be dominant, his caring nature slipped through some of his actions.

“Now… you better shut that mouth of yours before i shut it for you” Soap murmured, looking straight down at you while his hands played with his belt buckle. You just stared back at him, dumbfounded. However, you wouldn’t stop your teasing.

“Never knew you could be so demanding John…” you told him. That was it for him.

Johnny grabbed your chin with one hand roughly while the other hand trailed down to the button and zip on his jeans. He got them undone rather quickly before pulling them down roughly, desperate for your touch.

Soon enough you were face to face with the sight of his boxers, the outline of his hard cock extremely visible. Slowly, you hand crept to the hem of his boxers then gently pulled them down, leaving Johnnys bottom half completely bare. The tip of Johnnys cock was near enough pulsing, already beginning to drip with pre.

“Did I do this to you, Johnny?”

“I cannae help myself when you look so pretty on your knees” he chuckled slightly, breathing out his answer. “Now put that mouth of yours to use”

With that being said you brought your hand up to the base of his cock, squeezing it slightly which earned a grunt from the man in front of you. Hearing Johnny let out his sounds gave you encouragement to move your hand steadily along his dick, gaining more groans from your boyfriend.

However for Johnny, he felt like he was losing control. Although he loved having you take your time with him and being attentive, he wanted to ruin you this time after those comments you made. Johnny then swatted your hands away from him and grabbed the base of his cock before guiding it down your throat completely.

He wasn’t intending on going soft on you. No. A sudden spark of possessiveness struck a light within him and there’s only one thing of his he’s never willing to share and that is you. So when you started spouting off about how that man on the tv, Johnny knew that he had to remind you who you belonged to.

“Look at you bonnie… you can barely fuckin’ breath with your mouth full of my cock” Soap groaned, his hands grasping at your hair roughly. “So pretty y/n…”

Tears were forming at your eyes, head going foggy at the shear feeling of Soaps cock sliding down your throat, hard enough to leave bruising. This was a sight to die for; Johnny completely intoxicated by the feeling of your mouth.

Johnny couldn’t keep quiet no matter how hard he tried. Groans and grunts slipping from his pink lips, occasionally wetting them with his tongue. “Such a slut for me… shit, I’m getting close… get up, off your knees” Johnny groaned, his grip on your hair loosening before he helped you up on your feet.

As you walked over to the bed, you pulled your shirt off over your head and pulled your bottoms down, leaving you in your underwear. You’ll let Johnny have the pleasure of taking it off of you.

Johnny soon stood by the edge of the bed, slowly creeping up onto the mattress. He stared down at you while he peeled his shirt off and tossed it into the corner joining your discarded shirt and bottoms. He took this moment to admire you in your underwear, just for him.

This moment didn’t last that long as Johnny practically ripped your lacy bra in half, throwing both pieces away before attacking one of your tits with his warm mouth. While his tongue circled one boob, his hand played and toyed with the other making you whine out.

“J-Johnny…”

“Mhm, that’s it…” he mumbled, still entranced by your tits. Feeling the way it’d mould perfectly with his lips and fit perfectly in the palm of his hand, the feeling of him on your skin.

He knew that he’d have to break apart soon though, as he was desperate for more. Just like he’d done with your bra, Soap ripped your panties practically off your body leaving your bare in front of him.

Soap almost felt like he didn’t want to rush it, to take his sweet time with you and make you whine out for him but the thought of making you scream for him while he pounded into you with no mercy seemed so appealing right this second.

Johnny grabbed your legs and placed each knee over each of his shoulder so he could reach those deeper points. He then gripped the base of his cock before slowly pushing himself in. There was no need for much foreplay as you were already soaking for him.

Soap almost immediately started to thrust into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size. The headboard already slamming into the wall as Johnny grabbed your wrists and held your hands above your head against the wall. To fill the pleasurable silence, Johnny spoke

“You wanted this baby… wanted this just as much as I did”

“Oh bonnie…”

“You feel amazing y/n” he groaned, your walls fluttering against his cock with each word he said that dripped like honey.

His balls slapped harshly against your ass, sure enough to leave a slight bruise while his head leaned down so he could leave marks of his own on your neck.

Johnny noticed a slight change in your demeanour; you were breathing heavier, you couldn’t maintain eye contact and all you could muster up were jumped up versions of his name. He knew you were close.

Soap then trailed one hand (while the other stayed pinning both your wrists) down to your clit, leaving rough circular motions over it making you practically scream. “Oh J-Johnny… a-almost there” you shrieked, your legs beginning to shake.

“Go on baby, cum for me… do it you slut” Johnny growled in your ear, his pace didn’t falter but instead increased so he could give you the best orgasm he’s ever given you.

As you reached your climax, you saw pure white. The orgasm which Soap just gave you left you in some state, your heart pounding against your chest while your legs couldn’t stop shaking.

“Fuck, I’m cumming…” Johnny moaned before releasing inside you, coating your walls with his hot cum.

He then moved your legs off his shoulders and collapsed beside you, ready for a nap. Soap let his arm drape around your waist, pulling you into him slightly while his nose nuzzled in your hair.

“Take a nap my love, you’ve earned it. I’ll be here for you when you wake up if you want to go again” Johnny whispered to you, wanting to give you a break from the loudness of your precious actions.

You just nodded as acknowledgement and rested your head against his chest before falling asleep.

#mw2 2022 #modern warfare 2 #mw2 x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish smut #smut #modern warfare 2 x reader #modern warfare 2 smut

[lyricalive]

We spend our whole lives waiting for the stars to align, but maybe it's already happened.  The fated alignment of me, and her, and me.

——Say, Renko.  Have you ever heard the legend of the purple mirror?

幻想惑星直列 〜 Phantasmal Syzygy

#01  The Mystery in Your Town

    – "11:59:55..."

    – "Huh?"

    – "And there it is, 12 o'clock!  Happy birthday, Merry!"

My name is Maéreverie Hearn, but I've become far more used to the nickname given to me by my club partner.  On top of nearly forgetting my own name, I'd also nearly managed to forget my own birthday.  Between odd course schedules and late-night excursions, it's a bit hard to keep track of the days.

    – "Oh, so it is."

    – "Hm...  Even though I say 'happy,' you don't look too happy about it."

My partner, Renko Usami, rests her cheek upon her fist as she sees through my forced smile.  I wave my hand dismissively at her concern.

    – "Well, it's not like I was born at exactly midnight.  No need to celebrate prematurely."

    – "What time was it, then?"

    – "How should I remember?"

    – "Do you happen to have a photo of your birth?  Maybe I can tell from the sky."

    – "I wasn't born out in the wilderness, you know!"

The special ability of Renko's unusual eyes is to tell the exact time by looking at the stars and the exact location by looking at the moon.  Studying photographs for this information is how we've gotten our leads for various occult investigations, but there are limits to its practical usage.

Even so, I treasure those eyes very much.

She goes on for a bit, pestering me to call my family overseas to ask for this trivia, which I defiantly refuse.  Any contact with them feels like a distant past that I have no wish to go back to.  I moved to this faraway country for a reason.  That reason was to learn more about my own unsettling eyes, something I always expected to do quietly and alone until Renko came along.

It's surprising to think that's it's only been three years... or three years already.

#02  Higan Retour ~ Riverside View

Three years ago.

It was shortly after our trip to the ghostly field at Rendaino, where we got our first glimpse of another world together.  On the heels of this, one of our earliest successes, Renko had insisted that we carry on the momentum full-force.

She decided to investigate a certain abandoned shrine that cropped up a lot in her stash of old photos.  Her source for these photos seemed sketchy to me at the time, though there's plenty of evidence for their validity by now.

I remember the silhouette of the shrine building, looming just a short way back over my shoulder.  Surrounded by trees and moonlit darkness, Renko pulls me along by the hand, as she always does.  Then she suddenly stops, narrowing her eyes at the moon in the sky.

    – "The area here is so strange.  We've been walking for almost an hour, but we've barely changed location."

    – "Are you sure you're not just navigationally challenged?"

    – "What are you talking about?  I'm a human GPS!"

    – "You're also a human clock, yet you were late to our meeting today."

    – "Touché."

I used to be rather harsh with my teasing, didn't I?  Nowadays, she's usually the one who teases me instead.

    – "Still, it feels odd to me too.  Hakurei Shrine…  We keep cycling back to it somehow."

    – "Hey, Merry.  Do you know about Zeno's paradox?"

    – "Zeno's paradox?  The name sounds familiar."

    – "It has to do with the infinite nature of limits... the phenomenon of getting closer to the goal, but never reaching it.  I strongly suspect that's what's happening here."

    – "Are you saying this barrier is impossible to cross?"

Renko shakes her head with the absolute confidence I've since come to expect from her.

    – "Of course not.  Not for us, anyway."

The sparkle in her eyes as she says this is as bright and vivid as a dream.

Despite her confidence, we didn't end up solving the mystery that day.  That's usually how our club adventures go.  We spent some time searching the shrine, and we took home a souvenir that we found in the ruins for further study.  Just a small hand mirror, silver-rimmed, not particularly valuable.

But for its own sake... it was fun.  Although we couldn't get close to our destination, I think it brought the two of us closer.  And with that, subtly, something important shifted in my perception.

    – "Let's keep searching together, until we find it!"

No matter who or what may be manipulating the distance, the other side must exist somewhere.  There's a part of me that wants to get there, no matter what.  And there's also a part of me that doesn't want the search to end.

It's as if Renko brings forth a new definition of "dream."

Come to think of it, it was rather soon after this excursion that I started experiencing my first strange dreams…

#03  Gensokyo, Past and Present ~ Flower Land

    – "Is there anything you want as a birthday present, Merry?"

    – "Yes, there is.  An eight-tier cake with gourmet chocolate and genuine fruit toppings."

    – "Darn.  I think our local café is fresh out…"

With a smirk, Renko turns the joke on me as expected.

    – "Hee-hee, I'm just kidding.  I don't need anything in particular."

    – "Aw, don't give me that.  There must be something."

I put my hand to my chin and think a little more deeply.  What is it that I want…?

To be honest, the certain circumstances of today have made me somehow anxious about getting through the night.  So, as mawkish as it may be, the best gift that I could receive is just the comfort of her presence.

    – "Well… I suppose it would be nice if we shared a good dream tonight."

It hardly sounds like a request worthy of a special occasion.  I can visit dreams at any time.

In fact, it's grown increasingly natural to visit this one particular world every time I close my eyes.  Overflowing fields of golden flowers… cool air stirred by a wind god's wings… the sound of younthful fairies' laughter… and bright sparks of fireworks even against the daylight sky.

Whenever I think about it, this is definitely where I want to be.  It's such an amazing place that I could almost lose myself in it.  I could almost forget to wake up.

That is, until I remember Renko waiting for me in reality.  It's awfully ironic that Renko was the one who inspired me to be so interested in my own dreams, by showing me how much fun they can be to chase.  Yet she's also the reason I fear them most—the fear of being apart from her.

Then, the ideal dream is one where she and I can explore it together.  That's what makes this request special.

Maybe it's selfish of me to want the best of both worlds.  My heart aches to imagine ever having to choose.

Of course, if it came down to it, my choice would be…

    – "Let's do that!  It would be my pleasure!"

I smile at her earnestness, and wonder why we don't take advantage of this method far more often.  It's as simple as holding her close while we sleep, placing my hands over her eyes...

As soon as we turn out the lights, the mood of the room shifts.  We lay down on our sides, and I feel the curve of her warm body against mine.  I slip my arms past her waist, bending them up toward her face, and rest the palms gently on her eyelids.

And so, as Renko and I go to sleep together that night, we share a dream.

However... in the world we see, there are no fireworks, no fields of flowers or fairies playing.

There is only, against a twilight sky, a strange woman with a parasol standing before a vaguely familiar shrine gate.

#04  Eternal Spring Dream

Three days ago.

During one of many perfectly average meetings set in the clubroom of our university, Renko and I are engaged in conversation.  Because it's only the two of us in such a wide room, the space between the walls seems cavernous, like even a whisper would echo all the way across.

    – "I've been doing more research on the dream realm."

    – "Research, meaning...?"

    – "These notes."

Of course, she means the thorough collection of notes that can be sourced back to the Secret Sealing Club of a former era.  They were originally digital files, but Renko had printed them out for the convenience, and perhaps for the aesthetic, of tactile experience.  For a modern girl, she has some surprisingly old-fashioned values.

    – "Is it that theory again?  About the dream self?"

    – "It is.  Supposedly, every person alive has a corresponding dream self."

She straightens her tie with nimble fingers and prepares to explain.

    – "The dream self is almost identical to the person it belongs to—except that it carries their deepest and most repressed wishes, which explains how unrestrained people act in their dreams."

    – "Essentially, it's a self with fewer boundaries."

I have to chime in, because she's overstepping my specialty a bit.  The psychology of the self is something I've studied a lot.  Of course, it's a study that tends to lead fruitlessly in circles.

A person's unique consciousness is born from their choices under free will.  At the same time, people have thoughts that they choose not to act upon, which remain within the subconscious.

But because those hidden thoughts and wishes do exist, there must also exist some quantum reality in which the person consciously chooses such thoughts.  So, the person who would have been born from the choices which you didn't make, but which you could have made... but which you did make, sometime and somewhere...  Calling this a different person is pure semantics, right?

Well, I suppose that the quantum entanglement of multiple possible realities is Renko's specialty, too.  So I let her continue.

    – "Something like that.  This similar yet distinct entity is the one who actually experiences the physical events in the dream realm."

    – "I'm not sure if I follow.  In the first place, I still have scars on my own body from things that happened in my dreams."

    – "Exactly.  So here's the question raised by that contradiction:  Assuming there is supposed to be a different body taking the hits for you…  Where exactly is it?  Where is your dream self?"

    – "Ah, I see...  Maybe my dream self is off playing hooky somewhere, and I'm being forced to take her place."

    – "Right.  It really would explain a lot about the way you experience dreams compared to everyone else!"

    – "Oh, but you know me.  I'm so well-behaved.  No version of me would ever be so irresponsible."

    – "Ha ha!  I'll give you credit; that was a good joke."

    – "You aren't supposed to laugh that quickly!  How rude."

Despite protesting, I giggle along with her.  Within a few minutes, though, her expression grows serious again.

    – "There's also another way of looking at it."

    – "What's that?"

    – "Think about it, Merry.  What is it that you always say?"

    – "…"

    – "'Dreams and reality are the same.'  If this is your objective truth, then..."

    – "Then, my dream self is..."

Just me...?

    – "Crazy, right?  I still think there's got to be some consistent logic to dreams.  But the way your dreams work doesn't make any sense.  If only one person in the whole world could be an exception to the rule, it's you."

Renko flips the page of printed materials, eyes wildly scanning it all over.  I don't really know what to make of all these theories right away, so all I can do is look down at the documents.

Most of the text on the pages is typewritten, as if on a word-processing application.  But there are a few lines scribbled along the side of the document in very messy handwriting, perhaps via a tablet's touch screen.  I've never focused on those lines before.

I tilt my head to try and make out the words, which Renko doesn't seem to be acknowledging as anything but random symbols.

    – "Purple... mirror."

    – "What's that, Merry?"

    – "Mm, nothing."

The words that I was casually reading didn't mean anything to me at the time.  But they lingered in my mind long enough that I decide to type them into a search engine that night.

...A terrible choice.  The search results send a chill down my spine.

Which brings me back to my terribly anxious feeling on the present day.

#05  Charming Domination ~ Who Done It?

We awaken from our dream.  With a heavy exhale, my bedfellow stretches her arms high in the air, rustling the pillows beneath us.

Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the dream as much as I hoped I would.

    – "She was there.  A beautiful woman with blonde hair.  You saw her, right?"

I rub my cloudy eyes as I try my best to recall the image.  In the dream, we had tried to approach the woman, at Renko's insistence.  But no matter how far we walked, we never seemed to get any closer.  It was as if the stone path at our feet were a travelator conveying us in the opposite direction.

Her demeanor dark and solemn, the woman didn't seem to acknowledge us at all.  Eventually, she folded her parasol without a word and vanished into the shadows.

    – "You say beautiful, but she seemed pretty nasty to me."

    – "What do you mean, nasty?"

Most disgusting, the parts of yourself that you don't want to see.

    – "..."

I open my mouth to speak.  But the words that had come to mind are so unintelligible, I have no reason to say them.  These intrusive thoughts have been bothering me more and more lately, and I can't understand where they're coming from.

    – "There was an aura of elegance and mystery.  She was so captivating; I couldn't take my eyes off of her."

    – "All right already.  You don't have to obsess about her."

Renko laughs, a sharp and carefree laugh.

    – "Merry, don't tell me you're jealous."

    – "Huh...?"

My cheeks grow warm at the accusation.  Is that really what I'm feeling?  How silly, to be jealous of an image from a dream...  Surely, that's all she is to Renko.

The problem is that I sensed something off about her... in a much different way than anything else.  Her expression as she stood before us in that dream was difficult to read.  Lonely?  Somber?  …Menacing?  I couldn't trust her.  Or maybe that's just my excuse.  I pout stubbornly.

    – "You know, she kind of reminded me of you.  But don't worry.  It can't beat the real thing."

'Real'...  It's always such a funny word to hear.  I don't think I'll ever quite wrap my head around just how she uses it.  After all, to me, dreams and reality are the same.

That makes this scary person all the scarier.

#06  Yorimashi Between Dreams and Reality ~ Necro-Fantasia

    – "Hmph!  I'm telling you, I don't think that person and I had anything in common."

I feel the need to exaggerate this, in order to make myself feel better.

    – "Eh?  Take a look in a mirror.  I swear it was your eyes, mostly, that seemed so similar."

Never one for talk without action, she quickly begins scavenging around for a mirror.  Conveniently, there happens to be one resting in the top drawer of the bedside dresser.  I recognize the object that she withdraws.

    – "Oh.  That's the magic item we used at the bar."

Our riskiest club activity to date, we had visited a shady tavern and entertained its patrons with visions of other worlds, reflected right in this silver mirror.

    – "Well, we told them it was a magic item, but it's just an old relic we borrowed from a shrine a long time ago."

    – "Borrowing something usually means you bring it back at some point."

    – "Irrelevant.  The point is, it was only magic because of your abilities.  You can use it for everyday purposes too."

I wonder about her words as I glance into the mirror.  The picture is blurry at first, maybe because I'm still drowsy from sleep.  I try my best to focus.

Staring into the glass, I recognize the shape of my face, round cheeks thinning into a dull point.  Wavy blonde hair falls over my thick eyebrows.

And below that... Renko often compares my eyes to a kaleidoscope.  Changing with the light at different times of day, the color is always a surprise, even to me.  Bright gold, vivid red, calm blue.  I widen them for a clearer analysis, letting the light absorb into them.

Right now, the deep color I see is...

 I am you, but you are not me.

No.  Something's not right.

My fingers began to tremble in a way I can't control.  Instinctively, I draw in a sharp gasp of breath.

    – "Ah, careful!"

Renko's arms wrap around mine, her tight grip steadying the object before it drops.  I let out my held breath in a dramatic rush as I jolt my head in her direction.

She's gazing back at me.  The moment that I can see myself reflected in her own dark brown eyes instead of in the mirror, somehow, it calms me down.  I relax against her grip.

    – "…Thank you.  I don't know what got into me."

She removes the glass from my hands and places it safely back on the dresser before leaning in for a peck on my forehead.

    – "Never mind, Merry.  On second thought, it's like... the difference between a binary star and an optical double."

    – "Huh?"

    – "In celestial astronomy, two bodies may seem to overlap, even though they're actually be very far apart."

    – "By that, you mean..."

    – "You and the dream-you aren't even comparable after all."

Her analogies are roundabout, but her logic is straightforward as ever.

    – "Mm.  Well, congratulations on your good taste."

#07  Romantic Escape Flight

It's the morning after our dream, the morning of my birthday, and classes will be starting in a few hours.  There isn't a single part of me that feels motivated to do something as mundane as listen to lectures.  I linger idly in front of the closet as Renko uses my bathroom to brush her teeth.

From the rack, I choose a dress in my typical style, which is a rather atypical style for our era.  Living chronologically is overrated, isn't it?  The charming frills and lavender color are timeless, in my opinion.  I'm not thinking very deeply about it at the moment, though, as I half-heartedly pull the collar over my head.

    – "Backwards, Merry."

    – "Eh?"

    – "You're a grown adult now.  The only ones allowed to wear their clothes reversed are little kids and reflections in the mirror."

    – "Very funny."

Renko, finished with her own preparations, hovers behind me with an air of that playful tone I know her for.  I immediately pull my arms back through the sleeves and adjust my mistake.  But by the time I finish flipping my hair out of the collar and glance back at Renko, her tone has shifted.

    – "Hey, ever since last night…  No, even before then, you've been a little off.  There must be something big on your mind."

Renko is always very physically observant of her surroundings, but she picks only the strangest times to be emotionally observant as well.  In this case, she isn't wrong.  I must be making it all too obvious.

    – "Sort of.  Say, Renko…"

Have you heard the legend of—

Wait, no!  That's not what I want to say.  It's the very last thing I want to say!

    – "Huh?"

    – "Ugh, I'm sorry.  It's… something I really can't talk about."

Even as they leave my mouth, I know I've chosen the wrong words.  These words will only pique Renko's curiosity all the more.

    – "But we're partners, aren't we?  You can tell me anything!"

    – "It's not that I'm trying to keep a secret.  It's... complicated."

    – "I'm pretty smart, you know.  Maybe I can help figure it out."

I know.  The problem is she's so studious that, if I mention it, she'd certainly start researching it immediately.  Renko is someone who believes that all knowledge is good.  But I've read enough horror stories to know that the most curious one is always the first to fall.

    – "I'll tell you tomorrow, all right?  I promise.  Today, I really need to clear it from my mind."

Renko blinks a few times before her lips curve into a frown.  She beholds me with a somewhat pitying expression, clearly not understanding how I could be so negative on such a positive day.  She reaches up gently and rests one hand on my right shoulder.

    – "Merry.  Could it be... you're afraid of getting older?"

#08  Voyage 1970

Am I afraid...?  Is that part of why I've been feeling so strange?  Twenty years isn't even all that old in our modern era where such long lifespans are possible.

Besides, age is just a number.  It's always been difficult for humans to come to a consensus on when a person has fully matured.  The age of attending school, the age of drinking alcohol—all of these things change with society.  And yet, based on the development of the brain, modern psychology still might not consider me an adult.

I believe, and my partner would surely agree, that the best measure of life is by the knowledge we gain and the experiences we have.  If that's the case, shouldn't I be excited to grow up?

Well, it's not that simple.  The state of the body, the state of the mind, and the state of the world that continues to change with time all affect the opportunities to experience things.  If I'm being honest, my ideal might be to freeze time and remain on this very boundary of childhood of adulthood, where it seems like every opportunity is offered at once.

Oh.  Renko asked me a question, didn't she?

    – "Not at all~  I've decided, I'm going to be eternally seventeen."

My partner's grin returns.  She seems satisfied with my genuinely positive answer.

    – "Seventeen, huh?  Nice choice.  You'll have good physical fitness, and you'll never see a single gray hair."

    – "That's not really why...  Seventeen was freshman year.  That was my age when we met.  It was an interesting year for me."

The year of our partnership.  The year of our first club activity.  The year of my first strange dream.  My life changed so much.  It began to feel like the life I want.

    – "Then, let's keep living it!"

At her words, I feel a mischievous smile cross my lips, boosting my spirits.  Though I didn't know it before, I realize that this is exactly what I hoped to hear from her.

I want to keep living it right now.

    – "…Hey, Renko.  Are you up for playing hooky today?"

[Intermission]  Last Occultism ~ Esotericist of the Present World

You there.  The one who is so interested in urban legends.

...Hm?  There's no need for that frightened face.  The incident has been long resolved, so I'm not angry with you anymore.

In fact, in exchange for all the fascinating tales you brought to us, I simply wanted to offer you one to take back home in return.

Have you heard the legend of the purple mirror?

Here is a small warning in advance:  Those under a certain age, you might want to cover your ears now.

Oh, my, did that make you all the more intrigued?

This story is about a sickly girl, who spent most of her life being treated for her strange illness.

When she was young, her parents gave her a gift—a beautiful antique hand-mirror that had been passed down for generations.  She always carried it with her, and treasured it dearly.  When she looked in the mirror, despite the unpleasant effects of her ailments on her body, she was able to see herself as beautiful.

However, one morning, just short of her 20th birthday, she found that the metallic rim around the glass had been painted purple.  She had no recollection of making this change herself.  But those around her had witnessed her in the act, eyes focused, paintbrush in hand.  They had even heard her give a very clear reason in her own words—simply, "I love the color purple!"

Having no recollection of the trancelike state in which she had done this, the girl was frightened.  Her illness began to worsen, and her mental state began to deteriorate.  From then on, when she looked in the mirror, she no longer saw herself as beautiful.

What did she see instead?  That much is unclear, but it can only be assumed that it was something far more terrifying.  In her impulsive fear, she threw the mirror to the ground and smashed it to pieces.  No longer was she able to see anything at all.

The day before what would have been her coming-of-age ceremony, she locked herself in her room, repeating the words, "Purple mirror.  Purple mirror.  Purple mirror"—over and over again.  Ah, how her loved ones blustered with concern!  But alas, there was no longer anything they could do to help.

These were the last words ever heard from the sickly girl.  She passed away in her sleep before she could ever see her 20th year.

Through the intense feelings of this young woman, these words now carry a strong curse.  Just by hearing them, dear listener, I'm afraid you are also in danger.  It is said that, if one still remembers this story by the time of their 20th birthday, they shall suffer the same premature fate.

The moral of the story is…  Oh.

Why, how embarrassing.  I seem to have completely forgotten my own point.

I'll leave it to you.  What do you think is the lesson here?

#09  Eternal Shrine Maiden

    – "Hakurei Shrine.  It seems like fate keeps leading us back here."

We're lucky to have caught a train that got us all the way up to the mountain within the hour.  We had a small bit of hiking to do, just like last time.  I end up less winded, so I must have gotten a bit more in shape over these few years of excursions.

Still, no amount of stamina could clear this endless path.  This is as close as we're likely to get.

    – "I remember this like it was just yesterday, and the mysterious way that the scenery kept looping."

The shrine grounds are overgrown and abandoned.  But there is a sort of lively spirit that shines through it.  Even if that liveliness is not the truth of this world, my eyes must be seeing the truth somewhere...

The iconic gate, more rust-colored than red, and asymmetrically inclined with age, welcomes us into the only landmark of an area on the otherwise unbounded premises.

    – "We know, from last time, that the area out further than this is protected by some sort of illusion."

    – "Mm..."

    – "But maybe there's an alternate way through?  A clue we didn't find yet inside the shrine building.  A key, or a back door..."

It's a fine idea.  But there is something else on my mind to do first.  Something I want to return, rather than something I want to take.

My eyes gravitate toward the central altar of the shrine.  On the altar, above the cracked remains of an empty donation box, there is an empty space.  A small metal stand, resting upon on a jutting wooden shelf.

    – "The stand is still here, just as we last saw it."

    – "Ah!  This is where we found that useful souvenir last time."

Renko approaches the altar, and instinctively assumes the position to make a prayer.

I follow after her, wondering whether I ought to have a specific prayer in mind.  Or is it all right if it's just a ceremonious gesture?

I clap my hands together twice, and close my eyes.

#10  Swim in a Sakura-Colored Sea

After making the prayer, I take a moment to look around.

Framed parallel around the altar are two large moss-covered statues, whose forms are difficult to make out.  But I'm rather sure that they're supposed to be Chinese lion dogs, guardians of the sacred building.

    – "Take a look at these statues, Merry.  They're kind of cute."

    – "I agree.  The moss looks a bit like shaggy green fur."

From her bulky dark-colored backpack, which she brings along on every excursion, Renko takes out a camera phone.  She then stretches her arm forward, so that the front screen faces the both of us while capturing the scene of the shrine altar in the background.

    – "Merry, look this way.  Say ah~un!"

    – "Ah~..."

    – "Un!"

Once she's snapped the photo, I rest my chin on her shoulder to look at the image on the screen.  Renko and I appear comfortably in the center, and the two statues appear on either side of the frame.

Traditionally, these guardians are supposed to be facing perfectly forward, on vigilant alert.  But amidst the dilapidation of the shrine, the ground beneath the statues' bases has shifted so that they are slightly skewed.

    – "How funny.  They're turned in opposite directions."

Komainu are a symbol of duality.  Rather than being two separate creatures, these dogs are actually two halves of the same divine beast.

What an interesting perspective that sort of existence must offer.  You might think that a single being can't look both ways at once, and yet...

I'm reminded of the task I wanted to do.  From my own knapsack, I retrieve the old silver-rimmed souvenir that used to be stowed in our bedside dresser drawer.

#11  Ore From the Age of the Gods

    – "Renko.  I think we should—"

Before I can speak, our attention is distracted.

Seemingly cast from behind, an odd shadow crosses our line of sight, streaking quickly over the mossy stone path.

    – "Huh?  What's that?"

By the time we turn around, whatever had cast the shadow is gone.

My brow furrows with a bit of concern, as I brush a lock of hair nervously behind my ear and inch closer to Renko's side.

    – "I'm not sure...  Such a vague shadow could be just about anything."

    – "So it was vague to you too.  I thought maybe you saw it differently."

    – "I'm afraid not."

    – "Well.  If Merry's eyes didn't see it, we can probably conclude it's nothing important."

    – "...Hm-hm."

I graciously accept the unbounded faith that Renko has in me.  It makes me feel at ease.

    – "It's frustrating to be teased, though.  The shape of a shadow is always only one half of the picture."

    – "Mm..."

My partner brings her hand to her chin, the gears in her mind turning as always.

    – "Hey, Merry.  Do you know about Plato's cave?"

    – "Plato's cave.  Yes, I'm familiar with that one."

    – "When people are stuck in a cave, instead of seeing what's happening outside, all they can see are shadows on the wall."

    – "And they have no choice but to assume that to be their reality."

    – "You know, I've always wondered.  In that allegory, what exactly is keeping them from just leaving the cave?"

I smile at Renko's simplistic sense of determination.  If all of humanity shared this enlightened straightforward attitude, philosophy would come to an end as quickly as physics has.

    – "If they aren't physically imprisoned, it must just be their own minds trapping them there.  I suppose that's the whole point."

    – "In other legends, the goddess Amaterasu was said to be stuck in a cave for a long time.  Do you remember what it was that lured her out?"

    – "Let me think.  She came outside because she thought she saw a brand-new god waiting outside to meet her.  Though it was actually just... a mirror."

Renko closes her eyes thoughtfully for a moment, then breaks into an amused smile.

    – "What an interesting lesson.  Sometimes, the way to the truth is through an illusion."

I glance down at the mirror in my hands.  It's such a timeless symbol.  We used this mirror to see images of the dream world... which makes sense, because a mirror itself is a boundary.

In ancient times, the very first human who saw themselves in a mirror reflection of water must have been very shocked.  The shock of seeing the other side of reality, that fear of boundaries, created something that echoed through time.

And the truth that you acknowledge echoes back.

...Something's wrong.

Once again, something is in my thoughts.

Something that I'm not quite sure is me.

#12  Ultimate Truth

I gaze into the glass of the mirror.

I'm uncomfortable looking at it, but at the same time, it feels like I need to.

Perhaps you should look closer.

Violet eyes stare back at me.  The image looks more dissimilar to me than it does similar.

Where are these thoughts coming from?  For the moment, it's the only voice I can hear.

Perhaps you should look away.

The thought immediately contradicts itself.  I don't understand...

My body is stiffly frozen in place, as I don't know which thoughts to follow.

This world exists for you to chase.

This mirror, we determined, was not a magic item.

So I don't believe the mirror is talking to me...

It must be because there is a strong spiritual sense in the air around this shrine, that my own perception is drastically acting up.

It also exists because you chase it.

This is a paradox.  A sort of riddle.

In a daze, entirely spacing out from my surroundings, I seem to have nothing better to do than to ponder this riddle.

    – "...?"

I'm reminded of something I once learned... about a certain definition of "dream."

Something that you want to reach—but it can only be called a "dream" because you haven't reached it.

The answer to the paradox might be a dream, or an illusion.  Like the dreamlike scenes that have appeared in this glass before.

Yet, I cannot allow you to chase too freely.

If contaminants get mixed in, they've got to be eliminated.

Without averting my eyes from the mirror, I mumble under my breath another paradox that I've heard recently.

    – "I am you, but you are not me...  ...!!"

With a sharp pang, I feel a pressure in my head, and a tightening in my chest.

I can't be sure if something external is affecting me, or if the charged atmosphere is compounding my own anxieties.  About this mirror.  About this day.  About myself.

    – "Merry!?  What's the matter?"

Renko's voice pierces through to my ears—

—as she draws her face close enough to mine to see herself in the mirror, too, to see what I'm seeing.

The thick strands of her brown hair, tied loosely in a red ribbon, are dangling next to my cheek.

Her eyes, those eyes that I so treasure, are open wide and round.

Catching small rays of the sun, which is just now beginning to set, I can see specks on light like stars glittering inside of them...

My star.  Like a binary star, bound by gravity.

    – "...Renko."

I watch the mouth of my reflection form the syllables of her name.

Even though the mirror image is backwards... it's showing me the truth.

Somehow, I can recognize my own face looking back at me more clearly when it's by her side.

Of course, this face is Merry Hearn, the dream-chasing member of the Secret Sealing Club.

This is just one tiny corner of reality.  But I you will do everything in my your power to defend it.

...

I calmly lower the mirror, and turn decisively to my partner.

    – "Renko...  I'm fine.  I was just thinking about how we need to return this mirror we borrowed."

    – "Oh?"

    – "There are other treasures out there.  Let's return it now."

After a moment to process my words, Renko sighs with a chuckle.

    – "I see...  I figured that's part of why you wanted to come.  I guess you are a well-behaved young lady after all."

#13  A Dream Transcending Space-Time

    – "11:59, and... 12 o'clock!"

    – "Ah...  It's finally over."

    – "And a very merry un-birthday to you."

The sky hangs dark with midnight.  The moon is at apogee, its farthest point—or so says my astronomy-loving partner.  It's hard to believe, but we had spent all day at this shrine.

Now we lay flat on our backs, in the patchy, withered grass on its abandoned outskirts.

    – "It was an unexpectedly pleasant day, thanks to you."

    – "Even if the professor's going to be upset when we get back, it was worth it."

    – "I think she'll understand.  If only the school would allow it, she'd be all for the idea of field trips."

Renko rolls over on her side, resting her cheek on one hand.

    – "So, Merry, you were going to tell me something once the day passed."

    – "Oh?  Was I?"

I glance at her, my chin tilted with a hint of confusion.

    – "You were!  I've been waiting so patiently.  Don't try to hide it now."

    – "Sorry, Renko.  I honestly don't know what you mean.  I can't think of anything I wanted to say!"

Maybe I had left the thought behind, along with other things, at the altar of the shrine.  If they happen to be important, maybe I'll have the experience of learning them all over again.

    – "Well, you'd better spill it as soon as you remember.  More to the point, though, how are you feeling?"

    – "Mm.  I feel refreshed...  Lighter somehow."

    – "That makes sense.  You did say that you aged down to seventeen.  That must be a nice feeling."

    – "Hee-hee."

It's time to return home.  I brush the dust off my clothes as I rise to my feet.  And I take one last peek over my shoulder.

The old mirror is carefully placed back on the sacred shelf, where we first found it, and it radiates a glossy shine under the dim starlight.

Renko joins me in this farewell gaze... but before we turn our backs to it completely, she does a quick double-take.

    – "…Wait, huh?  Was the rim like that before?"

    – "Hm?"

    – "Did you paint that yourself?"

I squint my eyes at the object from a distance, admiring the detail I see.

    – "Oh.  I don't quite remember that either."

    – "How strange..."

    – "But that's all right.  I love the color purple!"

Afterwords

With a clear barrier, we must keep dream and reality separate.  Wasn't that your her  idea, after all?

Our relationship will be… as humans and youkai have always been.  A duel, a mirror existence.

Finally, I get to express my most anticlimactic but satisfying wish:  for the Hifuu Club's everyday lives to never end.

I can't bring myself to process Merry and Yukari as the same chronological person—to imagine Merry actually turning into Yukari.  But I obviously want a satisfying explanation about their relationship.  That is...

Yukari is Merry's "dream self"—by definition, though not in practice.  A dream self, representing one's deepest and repressed wishes, including the desire to cross into fantasy.  Ironically, Renko awakened this desire as much as tearing her from it.  And Renko was the one, in "Changeability of Strange Dream," who suggested the need to keep dream and reality separate.  The same ideal that shapes the formation of Gensokyo.

There are many ambiguous details left to interpret about how and when things may have happened for these two entities to coexist.  Regardless, the important thing to me is that "Merry" will always be her own chronological character.  The character of Merry, defined through the concept of her togetherness with Renko, stays consistent when you focus on that reality.  The character of Yukari, defined by the concept of "Gensokyo," does the same.  One does not replace the other.  In parallel alignment, in syzygy.

This relationship is specifically not a "one-way street."  The road goes both ways, and the two sides have crucial roles to uphold.  In the same way that spell card duels in Gensokyo are intentioned to maintain an ongoing balance, rather than a war that decisively must be won, I think the struggle between Merry and Yukari is not meant to be settled.  This is a tone that makes sense for the open-ended presentation of the series, but also in-universe.  If the Hifuu Club remains constantly on the border of discovery, they will thrive on their curiosity while successfully preserving the mystique of fantasy.

The story adapted here in the interlude is an actual existing urban legend with many variations, all known as "The Purple Mirror."  As soon as I found out this existed, I was personally flabbergasted and offended that I had not seen it used in Yukaribel context just for the name alone!  Incidentally, the style of the legend's telling was trying a bit to evoke the narrative tone of Lafcadio Hearn's "Stories and Studies of Strange Things."

Thank you very much for reading!

Hifuu CD-style stories:

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  自封夢幻 〜 Sentimental Reverie

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  陶然夢幻 〜 Transcendental Revelry

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  羨望横断 〜 Unenviable Crossroads

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  外来土産 〜 Adventive Reminiscence

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3] 中古技術 〜 Electric Spirit Seance

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  幻想惑星直列 〜 Phantasmal Syzygy

#touhou #renko usami #maribel hearn #renmerry #yukari yakumo #yukaribel #fanfiction #sjsfgsd i have a lot to catch up on posting... but... #this is a fic i wanted to post today! #on lafcadio hearn's birthday #i hope you'll accept my extremely uneventful yet intensely thematic 'good end' yukaribel fan theory

[blowflyfag]

Pro Wrestling Illustrated: March 2024

AND NEW PAN-AFRIKAN WORLD DIASPORA WRESTLING CHAMPION … Suge D Topples A Reign Longer Than Roman’s

At 1,338 days, Trish Adora stood tall as the longest-tenured world titleholder recognized by PWI. NOW, her coveted title begins a bold, new era led by ambitious ring vet Suge D

TEXT BY KEVIN McELVANEY

PHOTOS BY JAYLEE MEDIA

“IF YOU SAID I could … if you said i couldn’t … thank you.” Thus reads a tweet by the newly crowned Suge D, composed the night he fulfilled a mission that even he thought might be impossible. Indeed, the veteran grappler–who proudly embraces the label “journeyman” after competing around the globe for two decades–had twice tried to unseat Trish Adora as the Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora Wrestling champion. On Sunday, October 15, 2023, he was finally successful in his third attempt..

“This is the real deal … and I feel like there's like such a weight and a responsibility to go with that, and I'm still letting it sink in,” Suge said, speaking with PWI a few days after likely the biggest win of his career. “(TWE Chattanooga champion) Darian Bengston called me the other day, saying, ‘I was talking to my friends, and it’s like, I wonder if it’s set in for Suge yet that he’s an actual world champion.’ By the time this makes print, no, it probably still hasn’t set in. But I totally get the responsibility.”

The gorgeous, green PAWD title belt Suge D grasps during our interview has become one of the most coveted prizes on the independent circuit since its February 2020 introduction. Commissioned by the District of Columbia-based F1ght Club Pro, the championship is meant to highlight Black wrestlers not just locally, but from all over the globe; to create opportunities in an industry that hasn’t always been kind to marginalized groups.

[Suge D and Trish Adora bridge up off the canvas, each attempting to outleverage the other. Nearby, Darius Carter prepares to put the boots to the two fan favorites.]

“Lucha libre is this authentic Mexican thing,” explains Suge D, by way of comparison. “It’s a Latin thing. And it can exist in its own realm and its own world, untouched by anything else that comes into it. They’ll allow some guests in. But you can have greats in lucha libre that have never touched American soil, and it’s all good. There’s a respect and a reverence for it–same thing with Japanese Wrestling. Once we start talking about the idea of Black wrestling doing the same thing, I feel like it kind of rubs people the wrong way. I’ve even seen people make comments about it, like, ‘Oh, that’s such a racist title.’ No, we’re just celebrating the cultural aspects of us as Black performers, African-American performers, Afro-Latino performers.” Suge adds that he wants wrestling fans of all backgrounds to enjoy the matches and stories on display.

[Darius Carter nails Suge with a blatant low blow during the triple-threat bout. Though he prefers to rely on his mat prowess, Carter is definitely not above taking such shortcuts.]

Though the March 2020 declaration of a global pandemic limited the title’s reach in its early days, inaugural Pan-Afrikan champion Trish Asdora defended it valiantly across the U.S. for the first two years of her reign.She ventured overseas as soon as she was able to do so–March 2022–retaining over Rhio and Mercedez Blaze on two consecutive nights at PROGRESS Wrestling. By that time, the coveted green belt was already seen as the provenance of a legitimate world champion, recognized as such by PWI the previous summer.

Like the IWTV Independent Wrestling World championship, which earned world-title status on the same day in August 2021, the Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora Wrestling crown was a traveling championship in the traditional sense. “The Afro Punk” put it up for grabs with regularity, pinning or submitting some of the toughest competition the U.S. had to offer: dynamic performers such as Big Swole, Janai Kai, Eel O’Neal, and Ashton Starr (to name a few). She memorably retained against MLW superheavyweight Calvin Tankman at GCW’s For The Culture 2023.

[Adora and Suge D know each other quite well, which resulted in another thrilling battle between the two.]

When Adora’s schedule became busier–competing for AEW and Ring of Honor, training at the NJPW Academy–her World title defenses became far less frequent. In October 2023, she faced her ultimate challenger at F1ght Club Pro’s “Thriller” show, battling Darius Carter and Suge D in the triple-threat main event.

The smug, ruthless Carter had never forgotten the disputed finish to an August 2021 title bout with Adora at New Jersey's We Are Wrestling. And the man who dubbed himself “Wrestling’s Richest Prize” was favored by many to go home with the championship on that fateful day two years later–perhaps even by the wrestler who ultimately left with the belt around his waist. “Darius Carter is a terrible man,” admitted Suge D. “But he’s a great wrestler.”

Carter was prematurely taken out of the fight by Eel O'Neal, who attempted to cash in a “wild card” title shot during the scheduled triple-threat. An altercation between the two erstwhile allies allowed the championship to be decided between Suge D and Trish Adora. The fan favorites each showed off their mat prowess, trading pinning combinations until, finally, it was the challenger who pinned the champ’s shoulders to the mat for a three-count.

“I’m not just saying this because she and I have become close friends: I think the world of her. She’s a one-of-one,” Suge says of Adora. “There’s a tenacity about her and goal-making. She’ll write down what she wants and fixate on what it’s going to take to make these things happen. She goes out there and tries every door, every lock, every key to unlock those doors and get where she’s going. If it isn’t enough, she will go back and rewrite that list, fixate, and then try to top that list.”

Trish Adora is a tough act to follow. Twenty years into his career, Suge D now faces a barrage of potential challengers–all of whom want to defeat him and become world champion. This is a prize, after all, that has become world champion. This is a prize, after all, that has been spoken of with reverence by independent and contracted wrestlers alike; one mentioned on ROH TV by wrestler-commentator Caprice Coleman (someone Suge holds in high regard and would be happy to grant a title shot.)

[Carter became incensed when his Best Business Bureau ally, Eel O’Neal, attempted to cash in a guaranteed title shot during the match.]

To his credit, Suge D welcomes the onslaught of contenders. “There are great talents at Battle Club Pro, ACTION Wrestling, West Coast Pro, Naptown, Glory Pro, Asé Wrestling.”he says. “You literally could have a super-indie right now and just book it with Black talent and still be able to have two, three, or four more drafts of a show with completely different talent, and it’s all good.”

[New Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora champ Suge D poses with inaugural titleholder Trish Adora and F1ght Club promoter Jonny X backstage.]

On the U.S. indie circuit, Suge singles out heavy hitters including Bryan Keith, Camaro Jackson, and Arik Royal, along with Joseline Navarro (his first confirmed challenger), as those he’d like to see get a chance at the Pan-Afrikan World championship. In the U.K., he cites the work of Roy Johnson, whose “Everything Patterned events put Black wrestlers in the spotlight: British veteran Warren Banks, recent IMPACT signee Leon Slater, and possible opponents. Then, there’s Zombie Dragon, who competes and helps train grapplers for China’s Middle Kingdom Wrestling. Suge praises Dragon’s aesthetic and in-ring abilities, expressing interest in a possible international matchup.

It’s obvious that the new champ wants to emphasize the global nature of the Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora title. Of course, he’ll have to work hard not to lose it to another determined athlete along the way.

“You know, I’m a wrestling nerd at heart,” Suge D reflects. “When we have these conversations about PWI, I was deep in those magazines, reading the international section and finding out all this other stuff. With social media, I want to know more about everybody that’s out there, and I want to be able to connect us. If Trish was the foundation of this championship, I'm trying to pave the streets that lead to this house, so that we can have a community. So, whether they come to me or I gotta go out there to find them, that’s what I'm gonna do.”

#pwi #pro wrestling illustrated #suge d #Trish adora #F1ght club

[anonforlackofabettername]

10 11 12 for the bookish photo asks?

Sorry this took like a week. Last week was incredibly busy and I’ve been trying to figure out what books to use tbh. I went with what I have in my house which severely limits my options because half my books are in tubs in my basement and also the last time I bought novels regularly was circa 2015.

10. Two books you love from the opposite end of the spectrum (however you want to interpret that)

This one I probably spent the most time mulling over. What even is opposite ends of the spectrum? Is that fiction v nonfiction? Poetry vs prose? Kids vs adult? A lot of the stuff on my bookshelf right now is stuff that it would break my heart to get rid of but it’s not stuff I’ve read regularly. I almost went with a childhood fav vs the most recent book I read (System Collapse by Martha Wells - do recommend) but instead I went with this:

[img id: two books side by side. The left book has a light yellow cover. The book is LOVE THAT DOG by Sharon Creech. There is a line drawing of a dog underneath the title. The right book has a dark blue cover with a drawing of a young boy and a large dog with a pocket watch in the dogs side. The boy looks startled and is looking into the eyes of the dog which is as tall as he is. The book is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, Illustrated by Jules Feiffer.]

These are both books that I hold close to my heart. Love That Dog is poetry strung together into the shape of a story and The Phantom Tollbooth is prose fiction that is as close to poetry and metaphor as a story can get while taking itself absolutely literally. Love that dog is a book told in poems that take the form of a young boy’s english journal and his struggle to understand and write poetry for his class. The title is a homage to a poem by Walter Dean Myers. The Phantom Tollbooth is a portal fantasy story about a young boy, Milo, and his adventures in the lands beyond the tollbooth, the people that he meets there, and the lessons that he learns. Love that dog is realistic fiction despite its format. The metaphor is in the format. The lands beyond the Tollbooth are full of metaphor that is, at all times, true; the doldrums - where Milo ends up without thinking, the city of dictionopolis - where you literally eat your own words for dinner, the island of conclusions (you get there by jumping).

11. Book you’ve read the most times

Okay so the actual answer to this is almost certainly The Phantom Tollbooth. It would own this slot if it wasn’t in the previous category. I love that book. I try to reread it every couple of years. It’s got a piece of my heart in it. I’ve shown it already, so instead you get this:

[img id: A beat up book on a black background. The cover art is an illustration of a dragon reaching around a pillar while two kids hide on the other side. In the foreground is a young girl with red hair clutching a book, Nita. Behind her is a boy with a shocked expression on his face as he gazes at the dragon. Across the center of the cover is the title, So You Want To Be A Wizard. Near the bottom is the author’s name, Diane Duane. Beneath that are the words, “Young Wizards • Book One.”]

Clocking in right behind The Phantom Tollbooth on books I reread regularly is the Young Wizards series, book 1 featured here. I own all the books twice (thrice?) over but I haven’t actually read the physical copies in years since the ebooks are just better. DD went back and updated the timeline (every book was set in its publication year - book 1 was published in 1983, book 9 in 2010 - but the in-universe timeline was 5 to 6 years max) and fixed a couple characters who hadn’t aged well (book 6 introduces an autistic main character and understanding of autism is so much better than what was medically accurate in the early 00s).

The book, since I’ve been pitching the ebooks but not the series itself, is a science fiction/science fantasy series in which Nita and Kit both find a wizard’s manual, take the oath, and become wizards. Wizardy is a gift from the Powers that Be that takes the form of the Speech - the language that all things know and was spoken at the creation of the universe. Wizards use words and math and power to slow down entropy and fight the Lone Power, the Power that introduced death into the universe.

Book 1 is a portal fantasy that takes our two brand new wizards into an alternate New York City looking for the Book of Night with Moon, the book that was written to remind creation how it is supposed to be. Book 2 takes our wizards down to the bottom of the ocean trying to avert what could end up being an (un)natural disaster. Book 3 we stretch the science part of it and see how far into space and the wider galaxy our heroes can go. Book 4 features old Irish legends from DD’s literal backyard. Book 5 is a story about illness and fighting against the clock and being forced to grow up. Book 6 is about grief and loneliness and a reminder that we aren’t truly alone. Book 7 is a vacation story, except in a world where everything happens for a reason can you truly go on vacation without it turning into work? Book 8 is a direct follow up to 7, but I don’t know how to tease a book called Wizards at War without spoiling something. It’s the highest stakes and the culmination of a lot of stuff and the end of it makes me sob every time. Book 9 the gang goes to Mars (and if that feels like a step down in stakes, it is and it isn’t). Book 10 I really need to reread but it’s like 600 pages of our main characters mentoring kids for a wizard science fair and it fucking slaps.

12. Weirdest book you own

Look I’m not really sure what the standard of weird is. I’ve got the journal from Gravity Falls which isn’t that weird because somewhere in my basement is Dragonology and 3 or 4 other ology books on other topics. Dragonology was an intrinsic part of my childhood. They’re not that weird (right?). I thought about grabbing one of my ttrpg books but like how to choose. Is Wanderhome weirder than Thirsty Sword Lesbians or Gun&Slinger or If I Were A Lich Man? Also those are games as much as their books imo. So instead I went with this:

[img id: a hardcover book with a red spine. The cover image is drawing of a 19th century river with a steel cable bridge (the Brooklyn Bridge) crossing it. Reaching out of the water, wrapping around the bridge and interfering with the boats in the river is two tentacles. The title of the book is Alternate Histories of the World by Matthew Buchholz]

This book is mostly an art book with some writing. The artist recreates old-fashioned photos and maps and includes creatures, robots, monsters, aliens, and zombies in them. This book is a collection of prints loosely done in the style of a history book, chronicling altered histories where there were zombies at the court of Versailles in 1731, the great chicago fire was started by a Martian ufo, a robot ran for president in 1960, monsters live in the river Thames, Boston harbor, and basically everywhere else, or - my favorite - nothing weird or giant monster related has ever happened to Tokyo. It’s a fun book and I enjoy the artist a lot. I have another book by him which is in the style of a visit all 50 states tourist book called Flee America. The last couple of years he’s put out a calendar via kickstarter that I back.

#asks answered #veloz-lento #books

[icallhimjoey]

Hey love, you already know how deeply I appreciate you as a person as well as a writer by now. I’ve been proud of you as well as jealous, I’ve been inspired and touched by every work you published. You have this incredible ability of creating the most and emotional and at times gut wrenching stories without never giving up to the quality of your words. You already proved many times what I was already sure of, but tonight it was a further confirmation of said talent. You are easily my favorite writer, here and outside of this bubble.

Needless to say I cried. You never fail to get the rawest reactions out of me.

Down Below there’s the little paragraph that freed them all with full force.

"I folded that. I wanted to frame the full thing, but I couldn't. You were off-limits. But you were there.... just, hidden, at the back of it,"

This passage really struck me to my core.

I couldn’t even begin to understand how excruciating it must’ve been for him to experience her, always and only by far.

Except I could. I understood everything, I felt everything.

To think that she was always with him, that she wanted it or not, got my heart in a vice. She was constantly existing out of his reach, busy being thoroughly convinced that she was hated. To think that he kept her close and dear to his aching heart for years, painting “what ifs” in his mind, convincing himself that pretending to hate her was immensely easier than to love her wholeheartedly. He kept the photo folded knowing that the back of it, the side that really mattered to him, was slowly becoming an integral part of his heart.

I could honestly write so much more in addition to this but I’m pretty sure it’s already enough.

oh my god ??????????????

you described that so much better than i ever could have ???????

#jfc #i LOVE you #<333 #to have and to scold

[cherrybomb1985]

COMMISSIONS INFO:

Hey hey everyone! I’ve been thinking of ways to earn some extra money since i am a broke college student atm, and its tough to find jobs out there especially as someone with autism, so i figured why not use some of my passions since my options are limited atm :) your support means so much to me and i’m very grateful for every one of you! 💖💖💖

Upon purchasing a commission from my writing business, you are agreeing to the following terms below☟︎

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GENERAL

✍︎︎By estimate, a traditional based commission (500-1,000 words) would typically take about a few days, to 3 weeks at most to complete and be sent out via email

✍︎︎Commissions status, (CLOSED, OPEN, PENDING, TBD) will always be stated in my bio. If they are closed, you can dm for a quote but I cannot guarantee I will be able to hold a spot for you until I reopen.

✍︎︎if you have any questions or concerns, the best way to reach me is through Instagram dm. @vinylmacchio But you can also reach me through wattpad [ralphmacchio61] if that works better for you. Pm me for user or check my highlights. But please do NOT spam me about the same topic or do this with multiple accounts. Rude/hateful behavior will be reported and your commission will be rejected.

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✍︎︎i ONLY accept US currency, i will refuse to take any crypto currency (bitcoin, stuff like that)

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PAYMENTS :

✍︎︎Before I begin your commission, full payments must be set up front. However, if preferred, payments can be made after receiving the start of the story.

✍︎︎I normally wouldn’t do refunds, but if you really would like your money back if you weren’t satisfied with the finished product, i can see if we can accommodate something for that. Please don’t be rude about it.

PRICINGS:

My rate list is below ⬇️

100 words- $5

500 words- $10

1,000 words- $20

2,000 words- $50

3,000 words- $80

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PROCESS :

✍︎︎I will always send pictures of the beginning of the commission for approval before continuing on. However, you can deny this request if you’d like. This way i can make any edits needed or requested by the client. Also, please feel free to let me know if you are unhappy with something and would like a change. After all, this is for YOU :) 💖

✍︎︎I also have the right to share work photos on my stories/feed (unless you’d like otherwise, or it’s a surprise for someone else then I can accommodate that)

✍︎︎You can NOT copy, trace, translate or reproduce the same story I already wrote and reclaim it as your own.

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OTHER TERMS :

✍︎︎As a writer with my own business, I have the right to refuse requests without reason. This also means I can refuse requests which make me uncomfortable. If you harass me about completing a request that I do not feel comfortable with I have the right to reject this.

✍︎︎If client has not viewed my messages or responded after (1) week, I will refund payments and cancel the commission

✍︎︎REFUNDS: If your story has not been started at all, and you have been waiting for more than (1) month, you are eligible for a 100% refund. If it has been halfway completed, you are eligible for a 30% refund. If it’s almost/near completed, you can be eligible for a 15-20% refund. Until it is fully completed, you will no longer be entitled for any sort of refund.

FANDOMS I AM WRITING FOR ATM (but aren’t limited to):

cobra kai/karate kid

Back to the Future

MCU

I will do the necessary research if you request a fandom/ship that I don’t know about :)

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TRIGGER WARNINGS ⚠️:

Extremely graphic gore and blood, (although minor indications of mentions is fine), any horror based genre, anything NSFW scenes. I am ONLY a SFW author, I will refuse anything sexual or that makes me uncomfortable. Pm for more of my triggers

Thank you for reading! Please pm me if you have any questions, can’t wait to do business! 🤍🥰 send me a ❤️ emoji and tell me at least three of my rules so i can make sure you’ve read the whole thing! :) reblogs are greatly appreciated!!! 💖💖💖

#commission #commission open #writing prompt #writing commissions #smallbusiness #please support #feel free to dm me

[golvio]

Now that I’m making an effort to stay on the expected story progression course instead of wandering out of fear of getting into major combat, something else I’m noticing from a game design standpoint is that…everyone here feels so…earnest.

I’d spent most of today wandering around the sister cities of Kakariko and Hateno, gathering sidequests and making an effort to go through everyone’s dialogue trees to try to get to know them a little better and take notes on anything I found interesting, and…even if some of them are kinda one-note asshats like the Cawlin-expy haunting the path to the inn or the mean gossipy housewives who’re blatant shoutouts to the gosspiy ladies on Windfall Island…they all very genuinely want to help you, to get to know you. Getting into that mindset Link has where he subconsciously remembered he came from here, that he already considered these people his neighbors even though none of them were alive before he died, it’s hard not to like them. And that’s saying something, considering Zelda has a tendency to not respect its NPCs very much, even though you’re tasked with saving them and their world.

Another thing I’m beginning to notice is how the devs use this earnestness to chain major and minor sidequests together. This time I’m making an effort to stick to the expected story progression of Kakariko > Hateno > Lanayru to avoid softlocking myself in terms of combat ability by overleveling the monsters, and it’s all felt very natural. For example, take Pikango. His first quest activates after you show your funky little camera app to Impa and she suggests traveling to the locations in each picture to jog Link’s memory. At that point, I’d already been to the fairy fountain, so the trek with him upward was just treading old ground. But then, at the end, instead of giving me a generic reward, he gave me information that was actually relevant and helpful to my next goal by giving me a hint as to where the first photo location is. A location that, in fact, is on the way to Lanayru, which is where I’m heading next. It didn’t feel like a waste of time at all, just a natural flow of information pointing me in a certain direction.

It reminded me of why I loved how Hollow Knight handled its NPCs. The “little people” around you might not be as powerful as you, or be on a grand quest, or maybe their story ended long before Ghost rolled into town, but they each were still respected by the narrative. Each of them had their own story, rather than just blatantly being a UI point for you to interact with for certain services or to move the story along. So when the time came for them to help you/you to help them, it felt less video gamey and more like two people deciding to help each other out for their own reasons. And nobody was a goofy “ignorant” character played as a joke, like how Wind Waker used “Triumph Forks” to make fun of characters who weren’t privy to the same secret knowledge you and the major players “in the know” were. In fact, nobody was truly “ignorant” at all. Everyone had at least one little piece of the bigger puzzle, even if they couldn’t see the rest of the pieces from their own limited perspective. In fact, it’s impossible to truly understand what’s going on in Hallownest without talking to everyone.

Granted, BotW still has a ways to go in the writing department before it can reach that level, but there were enough times when random folks surprised me with their insightfulness or earnestness that I’m looking forward to seeing where things go in the sequel.

But, also…seeing how “nice” the world outside and the people in it were reminded me of how sad I was about how un-personed and totally cut off from humanity Ganon was the first time through. How he’s referred to like an infection, a contaminant, a spot of decay on a once-healthy national body instead of a person. Not only that, but now I’ve got a question in my head that first seeded itself from the moment I started speculating on TotK’s backstory. Just how awful was the ancient world that Ganondorf would come to hate absolutely everyone in it? And to the point where, even after it ended, he continued to lash out at its people’s descendants in its memory, no less?

#legend of zelda #loz thoughts #botw

[ponygirlponygirl]

Last night one of my new Berlin friends, the one from Pittsburg, told me they are getting ADORABLE tattooed across their arm, above the elbow. Someone else asked why and they started talking about Barthes, who was the first theorist they read, and how Barthes says that in love, we reach the limits of language. When asked to describe someone we love, we falter. We become frustrated by the inadequacy of words to give shape to the way we feel. So we come up with silly pet names, which, they said, are still inadequate and a bit ridiculous but somehow right. Or at least the best we can find. So, they’re getting a tattoo: ADORABLE. 

I’m thinking about this impossibility of language in wanting to write to you now. How much I’ve written to you, and of that, what you’ve read and not read, and the ways I’ve come to this impasse with language over and over. I’m thinking about the hope I’ve held on to that saying the right thing would make everything better. "For two people who love the written word,” you once wrote me, “we are pretty bad at it.” 

Our relationship to each other an intoxicating, intense combination of cerebral and embodied. It’s rare I think, to relate so deeply in both. But also: everyone knows this feeling, don’t they?

The way you left things broke my broken heart, turned me inside out and on my head. The eight months of post-break-up spinning, of uncertainty, of me holding out for this belief in our love and in promises. How can I write this without sounding like every other person? 

Yesterday I turned on my flip phone because I finally decided to get a German number. The last text on that phone is from August 31, 2021. Against all the advice from pop psychology and breakup forums, I read through our messages from that summer, oh my god. A shift in perspective. How were you able to put up with me then? I was so stubborn and childish and blind to the extent of it. I was often unreasonable, not receptive or reciprocal to your gentle attempts to connect with me, to accommodate me, to make things easier for me. You tried so hard. I can’t believe I didn’t understand that until now. And us to each other, in moments of strife: “I love you always.” “I love you deeply.” “I love you forever.”  

May 28, 2021, I wrote you “it feels like we’re losing each other. feels like heartbreak.” and you wrote, “idk i’m just confused, last night was so so so so nice.” And I wonder at any claims on my part that I wasn’t pushing you away for months, or that it wasn’t all my fault too.

Last fall, a month after we broke up, we sat at Everett Park in the dark and you brought up the trip we took up the mountain, to the campsite where no one else was. You asked me then if I thought it was a swan song. Because you didn’t. But wasn’t it? 

In the wake of everything it’s so hard for me to not hold out hope. In the wake of everything it’s so painful to try and detach from the possibility of some other life which, in the best moments felt palpable and already realized in us.

Where does falsity rear its head? What’s the point of deeply felt, temporary forvevers? Right before you left Los Angeles: “I trust us.” “I’m still in love with you.” “I want you to visit me.” “I’m committed to making things better.”  As if suddenly changing one’s mind negates all the other promises. Or did you know deep down all along.

I think I still love you. Can that be true? Is it not the idea of you, or the idea of myself with you? Is it not the envy I have of you in a non-feminized body, the ease with which this allows you to move in certain spaces, despite the pain I know it generates? I think I still love you, but is it not my attachment to you, re-activated by old texts and a flip phone with the same background photo of you and the ornery rabbit who died last month, the one got from the woman in the SGV? Is it not a form of loneliness, am I just wishing for companionship on the level of yours? Is it not chemical, our bond built of a mixture of proximity and pheromones, entirely explainable by science, entirely able to re-created with and between almost anyone? I think I still love you.

But being with you I I lost myself, rock in force field. Disconnected — from the world and especially anyone with a connection to you. Disconnected from you but also paradoxically closest.  

So what has this Life been since? I have sought and gained affirmation of my Self as a Worthwhile Person outside of my attachment to you.  And I’ve wanted to find and experience and connect for myself with the kind of social intellectual life you always praised, a life that, with you, I did not feel I had access to, floating just beyond it with my only tie being You.

I’ve rarely been able to approach you without wanting something, maybe that was part of the problem. But what is any function of wanting when I am just as scared of seeing you at any future point and having everything between us bubble up in powerful resurgence, as I am of seeing you and feeling completely shut out or alien.

[simon-newman]

Long Overdue Animal Post Part 1

So. I’ve promised to make a large update post to celebrate the 2 years of my tarantula keeping...

It’s been quite overdue... And by quite I mean... I’ve been keeping tarantulas for 3 years and 4 months now...

A lot has changed. I had some losses and... Well. I went a bit over my set limit of 6 spiders...

But here’s the deal.

1. Tliltocatl vagans (ex. Brachypelma vagans) female

So. My first spider luckily turned out to be a female. She’s grown quite a bit but is not nearly as large as some of my younger spiders - being from a medium-sized species in general.

One thing for sure - she’s a big and healthy female even if she likes to disappear underground for several months at a time (I haven’t seen her from December 2021 to July 2022).

She’s also the first spider I’ve paired. But you should know that from the post I’ve made before.

2. Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens - male (Typhoon)

My first spider. What most keepers consider to be the most beautiful species out there - the Greenbottle Blue Tarantula.

Has matured as a male in 18 months and not long after I’ve loaned him to one of the breeders in my country in January 2021 - in return I’ve received two slings from the same species.

Unfortunatley, when I inquired about his fate 2 months later they confirmed that Typhoon was eaten by a female they paired him with.

Here’s one of the last pictures I took of him:

3. Phormictopus Sp. “Green - Gold Carapace” - female, Draka

The BIG ONE.

Probably the largest spider in my house. She’s huge and likely has not yet reached her maximum.

For a while I was convinced she’s a male and called her “Durotan”.

Hearing I have a sub-adult male some people offered me a nice price for “him” as the price for this species tripled since I’ve got mine. I could have made 5 times what I paid for the spiderling.

Luckily I haven’t sold her as the adult female is likely worth even more.

Now - finding a male for HER might be more problematic than most.

To add to this - this is the spider I am actually nervous when dealing with. Draka was moody and jumpy all the way back as a sling and now she’s extremely defensive. Every feeding is a potential angry fit from her and I don’t want her fangs in my hand.

Yes - I have much more venomous spiders now. Draka is simply big and much more eager to bite when compared to them.

Here’s the most recent photo.

Yes - she threw a threat posture right after I took those pictures... I had to wait with watering the enclosure - doing it with her already angry risks a case of spider outside.

4. Psalmopoeus cambridgei, famale Bertha

The one that got away.

Yes - the only spider that escaped in my care. She spent some 16 hours loose in my house and neither me, my mom or my sister’s cat were able to find her until next morning.

Also quite large but less bulky spider. Mostly a ghost. I see her once every few months now that she’s in her final enclosure.

I’ve got a mate for her at the same event I’ve got a mate for #1 but... I don’t know why he died some 3 weeks after molting. I fed him a week before and he seemed perfectly healthy. Then next week I just found him dead.

Anyway. Here’s the most recent photo when she decided to grace me with her presence.

5. Lasiodora klugi, ?????

Okay I am confused. I can’t tell if it’s a male or female tho my last attempt would indicate it’s a male after all this time.

Potentially the largest spider in my collection. Definitely rivals Draka when it comes to sheer bulk.

A bit jumpy but nowhere nearly as moody as her and overall a good specimen to deal with when you want to get used to huge ass spiders that aren’t pet rocks.

Keeping him (?) has been a delight and the fact it’s likely not female is only a bit of a downgrade. Some breeders already told me they’ll gladly take him as males from this species are hard to come by. In fact when I got him as a spiderling it was likely the first time they appeared on sale since 2014 - some even assumed males went extinct in the European branch of the hobby.

6. Harpactira pulchripes, male “Gilgamesh”

The golden boy. Matured too fast. Loaned. Met his demise much like Typhoon.

I looked up my spreadsheet - I’ve only had him for 16 months.

Very moody for a species often suggested as a good first Old World tarantula (old worlds are more defensive and have stronger venom).

The species has been a disaster for me.

I’ve raised Gil from a tiny sling without any issues. Loaning him I’ve got 2 slings in exchange - much like with Typhoon.

Both slings suffered from DKS - a symptom of illness that disrupts tarantula’s coordination. I don’t know what caused it. One sling passed away shortly after developing this condition. The other one struggled for over 2 months - seemingly recovering to some degree just to pass away anyway... Those were Spiders 11 and 12.

7&8. Phoprmictopus Sp. “Bayahibe”, male and female.

So. This is the species I’ve broken my limit for. Can you blame me? They are absolutely stunning:

#7 - male:

#8 - female:

They’ll hopefully get more violet coloration as they age - I’ll try to slow down male’s growth as well and hopefully pair them later on. There was exactly one time they were sold in Poland until recently. The entire population in Europe is likely very limited and I have a pair.

9&10. Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens, ???

The two slings I received in exchange for Typhoon.

They’re growing nicely and now that I think about it they’re actually older than  Typhoon when he matured - being around 22 months old.

I didn’t bother to check if they’re males or females but I might be forced to do so soon.

They’re in vertical setups made in plastic jars and with their last molt both spiders destroyed most of their webbing that allowed them to use this vertical space efficiently. If they don’t remake it I’ll likely look for more horizontal enclosures for them.

To be continued...

#Animal Post #Spiders #Tarantulas #Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens #Tliltocatl vagans #Phormictopus Sp. Green-Gold Carapace #Phormictopus Sp. Bayahibe #Psalmopoeus cambridgei #Harpactira pulchripes

[ericleo108]

CosmicLuve.com April 2023 - Sun

Necessary prerequisite posts:

Sentientism 2022

Cosmic Love Feb 2020 - Emma Watson

Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary

Cosmic Luve Aug 2022 - Coast

Cosmic Luve Sept 2022 - Hope

Intro

This post is a vindication or confirming post. It basically follows up on the semantics explained in the “Aug 2022 Coast” and especially “Sept 2022 Hope” posts. You won’t understand this post or it’s significance unless you understand the theory and journaled experience in this cosmic luve series.

The basic theory of cosmic luve is that the planet earth (and stars are or) is conscious due to her magnetism, is telepathic and molds eugenics and influences evolution by affecting mate behavior through cognition. The premise of this argument, that the earth is conscious due to magnetism, and the story of how I reached that conclusion, is outlined in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness.”

Coincidences

These are the coincidences that are related to the previous posts (especially Sept 2022 Hope) in a summarized tweet. Hailee came out with “sunkissing” which I feel is a response to my Hope blog post. In the Hope blog post, I make a big deal of the semantics of the sun and even have a poem inspired by the sun.

Then I saw Emma’s new picture blocking out the sun with her hand and I immediately thought of “Sunkissing.” I knew all that and didn’t decide to make this post until I saw that Hailee has new IG story pictures that are by an Emma. As a cherry on top Hailee is in yellow in one of the photos.    

As a little update on my work. “Back to Life,” my song inspired by Hailee comes out November 3rd 2023 and is a response to Hailee’s work. My song “Earth” is kind of a response to sun kissing that I’ve had written before even coast, it still has to be produced. It will come out later this year. Cosmic Luve Brownies which is inspired by Taylor Swift and whose cosmic luve story can be read in the Oct 2022 Folklore post, comes out on December 13th 2023. I’m gonna remake the songs from “The Chalice Mixtape.” I already remade “Talk To Me” and “John Wick” is uploaded and comes out May 26th 2023. I’m definitely remaking “Charlottes Web.”

Marcus

Leaving off where I left in Sept 2022 Hope on trying to get help and find Marcus Lemonis. I sent Marcus a dm a couple weeks before, then on April 13th 2023 I took a trip to Chicago to try to find Marcus. I went to Camping World headquarters and shop Marcus. No one could help me.  It was basically pointless and reminded me why I don’t chase the prospects of love or opportunity. 

Marcus is having a public speaking event on May 11th 2023 in Denver Colorado. Basically, the only thing holding me back is money. It costs $500 for a Q&A. But with air fare and hotel, that’s too much bread. I would also have to go alone and plan the trip on short notice. I thank Marcus for making himself available and although it’s very tempting, I don’t wanna force it. It’s not the right time. The financial decision just wouldn’t be prudent. 

Goals 

I want 1000 tracks published, which is 50 a year for 20 years. But I don’t have the money to sustain the output and promote. I basically have the opportunity to buy a package of services that would take me to the next level through Ryini but I can’t afford them. The next step is to find a label to do a project and or tour with. I want to do business in Michigan. 

The truth is, I gotta start doing shows. I started to release once a week to grow my online following so I’d have an audience to show up to my shows. But I’m not growing online despite releasing once a week with a new word of the day Rhyme everyday. Even if I made a hit, I don’t have a large enough audience to launch it.

Limitations

Currently, I see my economic situation as limiting. I don’t care about succeeding that much. I could care less about validation from most people. What I really want is companionship and I see myself as unable to complete that feat without the economic means to sustain mobility. I ultimately see that as a failure of the American economic system, which doesn’t provide adequate opportunity and actively has a system that exploits my labor power. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the disability system and the life it provides me but it’s adequate at best and is rather lacking compared to peer nations. My life would be vastly improved by universal healthcare. Basically, I need the money to chase her and can’t have a family because I’m poverty-stricken.

You can hear all about how I didn’t get into the University of Michigan and don’t have funding at Western so I can’t go to graduate school in the Funk You Sunday Update. Between going broke to try and build a brand and ROI good enough to attract a cosmic luve, to being accepted into college but being unable to afford to go, dreams don’t come true in America, unless you have the money to afford them.

To put it simply, I basically try so hard to try and earn the intimate love of a cosmic love. If I had one, I would be much happier, appreciative, and loving. But I don’t, so it’s back to the drawing board and how to obtain a normal life in America’s POS government disability and economic systems. I basically see America as preventing me from thriving or even having a normal life because of corporate rule.

Communicating with Gaia

Before moving on, it’s worth mentioning the following. I hear about how many rappers predict their futures in their music. My song “Love the Mission” is my prophesied future. And Dave was in a yellow dress, as another instance, for this week's S3 Episode 4 “Wisconsin.”

Gaia has somewhat been predicting the future. She said a couple of years ago that “I would be shocked” and she stopped saying it once I found I had some money to be claimed. Then she basically did it again before I noticed I had some back royalties. She’s now saying I have two years before I’m financially free. I don’t see it but we’ll see. She also has been saying “Your mind goes to dark places and you wonder why we keep the worst from you” along with “we don’t tell you the future because you catalog it.”

I’m still not quite sure what it means but Gaia recently told me that she was going to “vomit.” I was watching John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight about immigrant farmers which just came out this week, and she said “I told you I’d vomit.”

Gang stalking

It’s worth mentioning, to set the record straight, I’ve seen a video pop up I made about gang stalking. To be clear those videos aren’t reality, they’re more about how I felt and perceived what I was feeling when I was mentally ill. I was never catfished by Lady Gaga.

The evidence I gave was not evidence. Alex Jones it’s not a credible source. As far as gangs go, that does happen but America is relatively safe. I felt like I was being mind controlled by electronic weapons because I was mentally ill. Gangs exist, so does stalking, but “gang stalking” is more likely a group delusion perpetuated by schizophrenics that are mentally ill. If it does exist it’s rare and they’re not using electronic weapons.

Why would the government stalk me just to give me health care and money to live if they were malicious? I was never tortured by electronic weapons, it just felt like it because I have schizo affective disorder.

If I was being stalked by anything it was Gaia. I talk about this experience in my life and how I think the planet is conscious and trying to communicate in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness.” The machine doesn’t exist and if it does, it’s the planet Earth (tweet). You can read about how the machine is Gaia in my post Gaia: Environmental Tapestry Manifestation that is on this blog. 

I will say, I’ve come a long way. I basically wasted 10 years being mentally ill. It’s been a long journey and I hope someday it’ll bring me one of my cosmic luves. Please stream my music and buy your favorite track if you want to support me. Thank you for reading. 

#emma watson #hailee steinfeld #cosmic luve