#I'm really glad they talked so much about how the original goal was to get her back into the wild

[sexyleon]

I felt that post of yours about the Dracula fandom and the way it talks about adaptations tbh, like, I'm someone who was very involved in DD last year and I've written critique myself about Dracula adaptations bc I love comparative analysis and really thinking about the choices adaptations make, for good or for ill, but from my personal experience, a lot of fandom commentary on adaptations isn't really thoughtful analysis, and don't get me wrong, I'm a hater sometimes too and enjoying venting, but I noticed that this year, there were so many posts that started out as thoughtful commentary on the book, then launched into bitching about the evils of adaptations out of nowhere, and people can write what they want, but it got tiring after awhile to be in a fandom with so much angry energy, not to mention the divergence in canon vs fanon that was much starker this year that made me feel like I had read a different book.

Also, every time I see people point at re: Dracula to be like, see, it's so easy to do a perfect 1:1 adaptation of the novel, why can't other adaptations do it?, it's like, it's an audiobook, a movie can't be that long, even a television mini-series would have to make cuts. And I might dislike a lot of choices adaptations make, but creatives absolutely have the right to take a public domain work and put their own spin on things beyond book accuracy as the number one goal - and like, do we truly want a 100% accurate adaptation when the novel is still ultimately a xenophobic reverse invasion story? Like, I would hope modern directors would seriously grapple with those aspects of the original story instead of reproducing Victorian bigotry unquestioned.

Hi, thank you for your response! I'm glad that my post resonated with a few people!

I definitely also felt a shift in energy with this season of Dracula Daily, and I'm pretty sure it is a direct result of the phenomena that is Re: Dracula. Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE supporter of RE: Dracula, and I found it to be absolutely delightful specifically because it was a 1:1 adaptation of the book, but I also think that it has skewed the way people engage with all the other adaptations of Dracula. You are so right when you say that Re: Dracula's media as audiobook is what allowed it to be so authentic. Even if it was a long-form series, there would have to be creative liberties taken to account for visualising certain aspects of the text. I am 100% sure someone would be able to do it, but it would undoubtedly be a labour of love and expense.

I think the biggest thing that got lost in translation in my post is that I was speaking specifically on the rhetoric of "bad adaptation = bad media." I don't even like to use the term "bad adaptation" because it feels inaccurate and gives the connotation of being holistically terrible; "failed adaptation" or "inauthentic adaptation" seems more apt when discussing how close an adaptation relates to the source material. I think it is unfair for any adaptation to be written off solely on the fact that it does not strictly adhere to the original text. This can be in way of narrative, characterization, theme, etc. I don't think it's fair to say "x adaptation is bad because it ignores x from the text" because that fundamentally dismisses all the other attributes that contribute to whether or not a piece of media is subjectively good (because honestly that's all it is-- subjectivity). Media, especially film and stage, has so many dynamic and moving parts. There are so many attributes that contribute to the success of any one given thing, especially adaptations (which can claim the title with even the loosest references to the source material). I feel like the black and white thinking when it comes to this doesn't really allow for a dialogue to exist between people who enjoy Dracula adaptations for what they are and, forgive me for saying this, book purists.

Understandably, there is criticism against some adaptations that have claimed to follow the source text closely, but very distinctly did not (Ahum, Cappola). However, I think it does everyone a disservice to deny the impact of a lot of these (mostly) films. Someone in the reblogs of my original post did a good breakdown of the origins of the Dracula genre itself, and I think it goes to show that the story of Dracula has a life of its own outside of the pages of Bram Stoker's book.

The most annoying thing about the responses to my initial post was the refusal to believe that anyone was making these comparisons. I really would not have gone out on a limb to rant about this if I hadn't been consistently seeing vent posts in the main tag with mostly negative responses to a lot of different adaptations of Dracula based on the authenticity of them to the text. I admit I was frustrated when I wrote it, but it really was meant to just address the black and white thinking re: failed adaptations making bad media. This is not to say that criticism of adaptations isn't valid, but I think there should be more nuance to this conversation and that's what I wasn't seeing. It's not fun to dive into the broad Dracula tag and find post after post shitting on your favourite media because it isn't like the book.

Sorry this was a bit long! I am just really passionate about Dracula okay!! And I really really really like all the shitty little shows and movies and plays and comics and all other media that comes out of his name (because YES, a lot of adaptations really make vampire synonymous with Dracula and ROLL WITH IT). Vampires are really neat and the Dracula genre of film has been a huge influence on horror media. I think there is a lot to be said when analysing adaptations, but none of it can come from blanket statements against them.

@spider-xan

#dracula #dracula daily #plz no sexyleon #honestly i lived through the hobbit movies and the book puritism that came out of that and i think it has influenced my opinion on this alo #again because there were some that didnt get it: i am speaking specifically on black and white thinking regarding this #if you don't like cappola's film because of all the shit that happened behind the scenes or because of the narrative itself outside of it's #relation to the original text??? i'm not talking about you

[super-ion]

Valiant

(Original post, Chapter 1)

Chapter 2

"Ellie!"

I blink awake. It's dark, the lighting hasn't switched over to morning mode yet and the sky is still black through the warehouse skylights. In fact, the only light is the gentle blue-white from Val's core. The indicator lights from the diagnostic equipment I have set up are completely dark.

I feel a spike of panic. A black out could mean any number of things, from benign to literal end of the world.

"What's going on?" I ask, fighting my grogginess. "What time is it?"

"I have lost external network connection. My internal clock indicates that it is 2:36:74," she says. Her voice is tinny and distant, likely the embedded speaker that I've managed to patch up.

"Ellie, I am sorry," she says. Her tone is distressed and contrite. She continues in a rush, "local wildlife nested amidst the network antenna and I attempted to relocate the nest. However in the process, I have accidently shorted the main high power bus with my drone peripheral."

Ah. That explains that. She probably tripped the main breaker. It's a terrible design and I've been meaning to add some resiliency, but that keeps getting out prioritized.

"Ellie, I am sorry," she repeats. "I have committed a mistake and I have inconvenienced you."

What?

Oh…

She's having the equivalent of a panic attack. She is a hyper intelligent AI core designed for fleet coordination and battle modeling, where failure to follow orders and standard operating procedure costs lives. This comes with a lot of built in anxiety. I understand that modern starships are less prone to such things, but when she was commissioned, the goal was to produce many warships very quickly. They were ultimately meant to be disposable, which led to some programming shortcuts.

"Hey," I say softly. "Are you okay? That's all I care about right now."

I roll out of my hammock and press my body against the surface of her core so that she can feel the plasmic discharge induced by my contact.

"I am well," she replies, her voice still small and panicked. "My core is isolated from main power. I can provide full diagnostics if you desire."

"No, that's okay. I'm glad you're alright. Should we see what we can do to take care of this?"

"Yes, please…"

She pauses.

"I do not like being disconnected. I… do not like the dark."

My heart breaks a little. Eighty-seven years, that's how long she was alone before I found her. An AI like hers can enter low power mode, but that is still an unfathomably long time. Units like her were never meant to be alone.

I reluctantly disengage from her core.

"I have to go outside," I tell her. She knows this, but I'm hoping it helps to talk through the process. "I'm going to get the headset working, so I'll be able to stay in contact, okay?"

"Thank you"

I pat the surface of her core gently before checking the rf transmitter I rigged up at her access port. It's short range, but it runs on her internal power. We used it a lot before I got her connected to internal and external networks, pretty much for this exact purpose, so I could talk to her without being right next to the core.

Connection looks good. I slip on the ear piece.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you Ellie," she replies.

Her voice through the earpiece is warm and smooth, even under the panic. It's her chosen choice and… well, it makes me feel… okay, I'll just say it, it's a very sexy voice. The speaker mounted on the access panel doesn't really convey the full timbre of it. Needless to say, I was blown away the first time I heard it in high fidelity.

I think I might be in love with her.

There's a lot to unpack there, but there's no point in denying that the feelings exist.

I throw on a sweater and a spare pair of boots and make my way up the scaffolding that leads to roof access. About halfway there, I pause for a moment to catch my breath. I chance a look down and my breath is stolen from me.

This room, this entire building, is a warehouse built for a machine of war to be abandoned and forgotten.

It's a squat for a scavenger trying to eke out an existence on the fringes.

"You're beautiful," I whisper.

It is a cathedral. It is a temple built for a goddess and her priestess.

Here in the dark, lit only by the radiation of her core, the space seems infinite.

Her core flickers in response, but she doesn't say anything. She might be embarrassed. She might never have heard those words before and doesn't know how to respond. She doesn't need to. I don't know if she feels the same about me. I'm not even sure if I should want her to. I would hate for her to feel obligated to return my affection solely by the fact that I am the only one who cares enough to repair her. I started this project because I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering alone in darkness, any romantic feelings I have are incidental... mostly.

I continue my scent and finally arrive at the roof access. The door opens with a squeal and I step into the frigid night.

"Oh!" I gasp.

"Ellie?" Val asks in my ear after a moment, worry creeping into her voice. "Are you well?"

"Oh, sorry…" I reply. "It's the stars. The high altitude haze from that dust storm last week has finally cleared. It's… spectacular."

There's a pause.

"Would you describe them for me?" she asks plaintively.

"Uh, sure… but I'm not sure if I can do it justice. Well, there's the glow from the industrial district, but it's not too bad tonight. We've got the arc of the Milky Way pretty much directly overhead. And there's like the fuzzy haze of the planetary disk. Looks like one of the ice giants too. And… well, stars. Thousands of them, just crystal clear."

I locate the main antenna and, sure enough, the drone is tangled up with the main power lines. It looks like there might have been some thin insulation that arced. The spidery drone itself might be salvageable. It is clutching an unfortunately empty nest in its manipulators, whatever wildlife must have fled when she disturbed it. The drone's head is tilted curiously back in a way that I don't think it's fully explainable by arcing.

"Wait, were you out here stargazing?

"The ocular system on the drone peripheral lacks the resolution and focal length to resolve individual stars."

It's not an answer and she sounds very vaguely guilty.

"It's alright if you were," I tell her as I bend down to examine the power conduits. "And I can see if I can get you a better camera system up here. Maybe something telescopic."

"I would not want to inconvenience you," she replies.

"Val, you're allowed to want things," I sigh.

She's quiet for a long moment while I move the drone and begin repairs on the power conduit.

"I miss the stars," she says finally. "There are many things I wish to forget about my past. Being alone amidst the stars was one of my few comforts."

I consider this. It's the most she's ever told me about her past. I've seen the diagnostic logs of her positronic activity indicating distress. Her equivalent of nightmares.

"You know any good stories about them?" I ask.

"I do not understand the nature of your query."

"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "I guess I'm just curious if you have any favorites or if you have any interesting facts in your database.

I'm not really sure how I expect her to respond. I just want to get her talking and not dwell on being trapped in the dark or feeling guilty about causing it.

"There is a star," she begins tentatively, "which according to local charts and my estimate of local time, should be located at azimuth 146.7, elevation 25.4. It is the brightest star in the southern sky, do you see it?"

I'm honestly surprised by this, and it takes me a minute to orient myself and find it.

"Yeah, the bright blue one?"

"Yes!" she replies, and as she speaks she gets more animated - her tone brightens and her cadence picks up. "Epsilon Orionis, Hipparcos 26311, also known as Alnilam. It is the central star of the asterism as viewed from Earth known as Orion's belt. It is among the brightest stars visible from this region of space. During first wave colonization, it was erroneously back translated to Al-Nilam, the Sapphire. Local neo-folkloric tradition associates it with either a maiden or queen…"

She continues on like that, and I find myself absolutely fascinated as I work. The detail is very encyclopedic, but there are aspects of it that she can't possibly have obtained from just a star chart. I quickly come to the realization that she must have sought out details about the folklore and mythology on her own.

This was a hobby of hers. There's no question in my mind now that I have to obtain a better system to facilitate her stargazing.

I finish the patch job on the conduit and heft the drone over my shoulder while she continues. I only interrupt her when I arrive back at the high power breaker.

The night lighting comes back up and she practically sighs with relief as she reconnects with the external network. I wearily drag myself back to my hammock.

"Ellie, I'm sorry to have woken you and taken up so much of your time," she says.

I sigh and press my hand to the surface of her core.

"It's okay, really," I tell her. "I'm here for you."

"Thank you for listening to me," she says, bringing a smile to my face.

"Goodnight, Val."

"Goodnight, Ellie."

I almost say "I love you". I want to.

#my writing #lesbian #scifi lesbian #science fiction #robot/mechanic #robot x human #lesbian robot

[boozles]

Okay, at this point I have went wayyyy off course so I'm just gonna post the last few questions of the #BLChallenge2K24 tonight <3

Day Thirteen: Give five good boys a gold star

Cher, A Boss and A Babe My goodest boy that ever gooded. I honestly fell in love with this little ball of energy as soon as he popped up on my screen. This was my first ForceBook series and I'm glad it was because it was perfect for me. But this is about Cher! Cher, who loves his friends more than anything. Cher, who let his entire village hate him and spread lies about him to attempt to protect his late best friend. Cher, who spent his young adult years financially supporting his late best friend's little brother because he felt guilty over not knowing she was suicidal. Cher who plotted to take down the step-father who assaulted his best friend. Cher who worked his butt off to prove he was good enough for Gun. Cher who was a clown and a comic and made everyone smile. Cher who was there for everyone. He is the goodest boy.

Gavreel, Gameboys Oh, one of my original babies. (For those who don't know, Gameboys was my gateway into BLs <3) Gav is just the sweetest. He's cheeky, and will push the limit, and probably wind you up a little, but he's such a good boy at heart. He falls in love so deeply, and will do everything in his power to capture the stars for Cai. He's so kind and thoughtful, and so generous (to a fault, sometimes). He's so much fun, and his smile literally makes me blush every time he's on screen.

Karan, Cherry Magic If you don't think he's the sweetest, goodest boy, then I don't think we can be friends. In many Thai series we see the boy with the crush refuse to give up, but not Karan; he spends so much time worrying about making Achi uncomfortable, to the point he removes himself from the situation, allowing Achi the time to digest his own feelings. He goes out of his way to help not only Achi, but his colleagues; his hard work isn't just for himself. It's not a good thing that he allows his superiors to utilise his attractive looks, but it is a self sacrifice. I just love this good boy so much, and I think he was a classic example of how different the roles that Tay can do.

Gun, My School President First of all, that smile. He is a total baby. Like, seriously, I would let him get away with murder if he were my son (because he's young enough to be /o\). He loves his friends and his mother so damn much. He's so passionate and goal driven, but not to much that he'll sacrifice those around him for it. He's trustworthy and easy to talk to (I mean, Sound just sorta looked at him and was like, "yes, I'll tell you everything.") He's just a really good boy.

Choco, Choco Milk Shake Okay, I know this is probably cliche considering Choco literally IS a good boy, but he actually is. He literally escapes the afterlife (dragging his kitty friend along for the ride) because his former human is depressed and lonely. He just emits love to those around him like a god damn Care Bear. I know some find this drama's premise a little odd (I mean, can you imagine falling in love with someone who is actually your childhood pet? I'm not sure how I would feel about that XD) but the love and joy these characters bring, especially Choco - he just gives off the golden retriever vibe. When he does something bad/wrong he struggles with it so much, and he'll always try to the right thing. Gosh, I adore this boy.

#blchallenge2k24 #bl challenge #choco milk shake #my school president #cherry magic #gameboys #a boss and a babe #thai drama #bl drama #kdrama #ph drama #drama #meme

[astroboyanalysis]

7. The Greatest Robot on Earth

oh boy here we go

As a warning, this liveblog may take me multiple days (or like, a week, I literally don't know) to get all the reblogs on. The way you will know I am truly done is 1. I will say so on that reblog above the readmore and 2. I will post the next story. Won't do that until I'm done with this one, obviously.

Let's get started.

(I begin the first panel and am immediately affronted with what I must acknowledge is racism) ah

I am not the best person to speak on this. I am also likely not the first (although a quick google search has not revealed essays to me) to see this and recognize its heavy anti-arab racism and caricature. Because I am not the best person to speak on this, aside from pointing out that I do in fact recognize this and asking that you as the reader of this blog also recognize this, there is not much I am planning to discuss on it. I can't imagine there's much that hasn't already been said. It was wrong to portray a person or culture this way then, and it's wrong now. That's all I'll say for now.

Glad he has such a convenient visual for us. Also, I'm so fond of these robot designs. I love Pluto but boy are these silly and fun.

This sounds both normal to want and achievable as a goal, yeah

This is one of those just actually horrific moments, lmao. The gore of it all. The fact that his horns seem made to simply pass current through whatever touches them, or to arc electricity almost, is just wild. If I'm understanding the visual correctly and its meant to bring forward arcs of electricity like a taser, but at such a large scale, I'm fairly certain it would simply melt one of these robots if it didn't blow them up.

I'm glad we've moved past this visual.

I am somewhat curious if it was meant to be received as funny at the time. It must have been, right...?

Atom's characterization in the original manga is so starkly different to how its developed over time (and especially with multiple authors at this point). He's so ready to fight and doesn't stop to think at all - I'm so fond of the (cough, 2003, cough) idealistic and pacifistic Atom who only fights when there is no choice we've come to love now. The parallels between his appearance (childlike) and his views on the world (naive) are clear and the way that clashes with the events in the world around him and pushes him into these really difficult situations is just so much more compelling to me, idk. I really do love the "I don't want to fight you, I want to help you, I want to be your friend" (and actually meaning it) approach.

Some of what I really love about Astro Boy is that Atom's idealism has truth to it, but it puts him in conflict with others. The truth is somewhere in the idea that everyone has a right to exist, that everyone has value, that robots and humans can coexist - But just because it's true doesn't mean it's uncontroversial, and his existence being in opposition to others interests is what pushes him to make hard decisions. He's being shown again and again these conflicts that arise when humans make robots with bad intentions, when humans mistreat robots, when they try to live together, etc. etc., but his childlike and naive approach to the world LETS him keep hope that the better future he believes in will come to pass. His permanent youth is paralleled by his permanent optimism and the fact that he simply won't become jaded - or at least, not for long.

Gosh I can't wait to get to 2003 again.

I could talk about how the antidote to apathy and becoming overwhelmed with the horrors of the world is in what kids bring to the table forever. But it's all there, isn't it?

Anyway "I'll teach you to make a fool of me" while being inches away from certain death is very funny. "You think that's funny? I'm about to be hilarious"

Can't argue with that!

I love when Ochanomizu gets to have a moment like this.

This moment directly parallels something Atom said earlier, actually:

Anyway. "If it was only about strength" is a very important quote here and I'll probably come back to it at the end of the story. He really sums it all up right at the beginning though. What a good father figure. Although he does say ""only"" 100,000 horsepower which seems silly.

Uran what the hell lmao. He's clearly upset why are you egging him on like that.

Ok I do love how angry and ashamed he is here. The Atom we see in this comic specifically seems to base a lot of his value on his ability to win a fight through brute strength, which is kind of interesting. It's also interesting when we see this sort of character be so submissive to authority - It indicates there's a heirarchy beyond strength that they do have to acknowledge (social capital, respect of elders, something in there), yet they value strength so highly maybe because it's the heirarchy they can control, somewhat. And yet here he's been told he's not allowed to get stronger to win.

(Guy that likes bugs) I'm getting some real bugs vibes from North #2's design

He's shaped like a praying mantis to me, sort of. I'm about to say the same thing when we see Gesicht as well, but he looks more like a fly.

The idea of this being impersonal is very strange to me, but also very compelling. I will ignore how much I love Pluto's approach to this manga because I'm not commenting on differences here, and I'm just going to talk about it as its own characterization. Like a normal person.

Why would Pluto have any amount of hatred towards the robots he's meant to destroy? They're more alike him than the one commanding him to kill them. There's a kind of tragedy in this, I suppose - although he's not particularly against hurting them, either. But the fact he feels a need to tell them it's not personal is interesting.

Uran also having the same idea of Atom's value that he himself does, but having very little care for Ochanomizu's wisdom on the matter (while Atom dejectedly accepts it as fact) puts them in conflict here - She expects more of him than he's showing - Why is he bowing down now? But Atom also values his own niceties, his deference to power, and his acceptance of the authority of the one who, in a way, owns him.

We do see that Ochanomizu tells Atom he's free in the first comic, yet Atom continues to treat Professor Ochanomizu as if he created him, and values his authority above all else. As of yet, we haven't seen him directly disagree with Professor Ochanomizu or his authority, and he does act basically the way any owned robot (or a child born to a parent) would (seems to stick around Ochanomizu, listens to what he says and obeys, etc.), just with far more freedoms and independence.

Basically, in this first iteration, their relationship is very difficult for me to parse out. He's certainly paternal, he's certainly a guiding figure, and he certainly has authority over Atom that Atom does not question, but Atom is given a full family unit outside of the Professor, and the Professor is not his creator.

We have not (yet) seen a reason for Atom to understand that Ochanomizu's authority is earned, like, for example, him disobeying and then finding that Ochanomizu was right all along. This iteration of Atom lacks the tendency of children to push boundaries or to think independently, it seems.

her pajamas are just so cute

CONFIRMED they're pants in this iteration and not a permanent part of his body.

Great question, Uran! It'd be awesome if we had any introduction to you or your creation before reading this comic so that this would strike us in any way at all. But alas, that is not the order of the omnibus.

Still, she has a good point as far as we're concerned. Why didn't he do that? Why aren't there a bunch of Atoms flying around all the time? I'm curious if the manga itself will actually answer this.

Pluto himself is so deeply interesting to me. He does smile while he fights the robots he's been ordered to fight, and while he kills them, and yet he seems to value robots in general on a basic level. He made it clear it was not a personal issue and was because he was ordered to, but it's still interesting to me that he doesn't seem to care one way or the other about violence. He doesn't like it enough to enact it when he hasn't been ordered to.

Ochanomizu has the authority to Forbid Atom from fighting. It's clear Atom is choosing not to, at Ochanomizu's request, so taking a hostage to force him into it also indicates to me that it's a choice to obey that can be overriden if Atom wills it (and that, without this motivation, he simply doesn't, or prefers to defer to Ochanomizu out of respect, obligation, or otherwise).

"Baby sister" is so cute considering that she never was a baby

His kindness.... What made him like that. I do love him so much

I do love that Atom's mercy plays a major role here. I think it's interesting that Pluto asks in the first place.

"That's what I was designed to do" is an answer that isn't immediately rebuffed by Atom with anything about freedom to choose your path or anything. He seems to mostly stay quiet on what other robots do in their positions, from what we've seen, and doesn't particularly care to help anyone liberate themselves if they don't already want it in the first place.

Can any Astro Boy scholars let me know what the original text says in Japanese and what the meaning of the word used is? Tomboy just seems so strange here and I'm curious how faithful the translation is to the original text. I'm not even sure how to go about finding a copy of the story in Japanese, frankly, because it's so old.

But why....? His father doesn't even seem to have his own take on this or care that it's dangerous, it's all about the fact that Ochanomizu told him to.

He's just very flylike to me

Again. horrific.

Okay I don't have anything to say but Cobalt's really cute in this panel. Anyway I'll continue this in a reblog because I've run out of images!

#astro boy #mighty atom #tetsuwan atom

[sumire-no-nikki]

To Be Here

October. My beloved October. The kotatsu blanket is back on, the indoor plants don't need as much watering, the fallen leaves in the backyard need sweeping and the Summer clothes have been put away. Funny how many friends I've recently chatted with about the bliss that comes with October. It's a burst of orange ochre and apple red in my head. When the season turned, the sun who has since made herself scarce is a warm embrace whenever she pokes her head out. The wind and clouds are constant companions. The evening is perfect for mysterious reads under candlelight. What a splendid month.

As I am typing this, however, October is nearly done. Something this good always leaves too soon, doesn't it? I love the first taste of cold after the pesky Summer heat and September’s false promises of colder days. October is where it really gets going. But it's always nearly done before I feel like I can properly savor it. How melancholy!! But isn’t that how it always goes? Love is more deeply felt after only the crater it left is the one thing you’ve got to remember it by? Love defined by the lack, the absence, the loss? There will never be enough Octobers for me. I’m a creature of want in this way, yearning is an instinct for me. I watch the days go by and the thought that there won’t be another October until next year is like quicksand for my mind.

That said I’ve spent the month working diligently and on the whole being rather productive in both work and personal matters. There’s this project I’ve started and making good progress on! Once completed I promised myself a trip where I can apply what I’ve learned and I’m so excited to reach that goal. I’ve also read a lot this month. I really surprised myself. I’ve read six books and the month isn’t over yet! I read two Agatha Christie books, all three of the Toshikazu Kawaguchi series (the fourth one is coming out next month!! And I’ll have to read the fifth one in Japanese because I don’t want to wait for the translation to come out!!!) I also read Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library as recommended by a friend and I'm so glad she brought it up! I've had a copy of it for ages but just never managed to pick it up due to associated memories (it was given to me by someone during a bad period in my life!!) I swear that book might've just saved my life. I also finished two manga volumes in Japanese this month. It's a series called Yotsuba&! which is just the most wholesome series. Maybe I'll talk about it someday on here. But that series is such a light in my life. I picked it up on one particularly tough day last week and it instantly revived hope in my heart that there's still good out there no matter what.

Other things I've been up to: I've been running a lot these days and I'm actually surprising myself with how much I enjoy it. Earlier today (I'm typing this before bed) I went on a run while it was drizzling. I felt like a kid playing in the rain. I couldn't stop smiling!

Also, the podcast show I mentioned some entries ago!! Case 63!! It has a season 2!! Actually, I found out it's originally by a Chilean writer, so the version I listened to is an English adaptation. Anyway, I'm so happy there's more of it. Season 3 is the final season in Spanish so I expect the English adaptation of that will also be made (since they went so far as to continue with season 2). Fingers crossed! I'm so intrigued as to how it will end!!

As for TV, I started and finished watching HBO's Barry in like a week. I was absorbed!! All four seasons! Mind you, each episode is only 30 mins so it wasn't really that long. It's such a funny and dark show I love it so much. I've heard good things about it through the years but I never found the time to get into it. Plus I have this terrible illness of "I-Can't-Get-Into-Things-When-It's-Super-Mainstream-I-Need-To-Wait-Until-The-Hype-Dies-Down-itis" lol. No, seriously I just didn't feel like getting into a new show until this month apparently. But I'm so glad I watched it. The show is a goldmine, the best Hollywood/LA culture satire I've seen in ages. The way it highlights the gender gap in the workplace, how a writer must compromise on truth in order to sell something, even the way a woman needs to be a "perfect victim" in order for her story to be worth anything! It's so witty!! And the central question of can people truly change--I'll be thinking about this show for a long time. It's so good. Watch it if you can.

Early this month I also managed to sneak a quick trip to Croatia and Slovenia which was so relaxing and peaceful. Trips can be quite stressful for me especially when it's a big city full of tourists due to my OCD (I'm looking at you Paris, and literally all of Italy smh... jk jk) But this trip was restorative and gave me a genuine sense of discovery and wonder, which is what I aim to travel for.

I've been listening to the new Mitski album and rethinking my home library's organisation system! I haven't decided yet but I mainly want my Classical Mythology books, both fiction and non-fiction in one area. Also wishing I bought two Caryatid statues in Athens last year instead of one! Would've been nice for her to have a buddy!!

Now, the title of this entry comes from a realisation I had this month--a very important one. As someone whose nature is to think and think and think, it's difficult to be in the present. I'm always in agony over the past, and anxious about the future. I can be quite dismissive of what's in front of me as a result. This is a chronic issue of mine. But while reading The Midnight Library, tucked in my reading chair, savoring the scent of a pumpkin pie candle, all the pieces of advice I've read both online and in person suddenly clicked.

When writing a first draft of a novel, it simply needs to exist.

When making art, it simply needs to be there.

When yearning to do something, I must attempt it

When wanting to exist, I simply am.

I just need to be here in the most literal sense. To be. Not in the past tense, not in the future tense. There's no need for qualifiers. There is no standard to fulfill. I know this is neither new nor revolutionary, but in the embrace of an October evening, digesting this advice and accepting it made me feel so brave.

It hit me like a sucker punch. I thought, I need to untangle my sense of self and my worth from anything external. I cannot keep on doing this to myself. Because the truth is if I don’t stop this constant self-flagellation, I have simply replaced my mother in adulthood. I will have been no different from her and her constant need to criticise me. This is something I've been actively trying to improve recently and I can feel myself getting better. I feel, somewhat ironically, that by being present, I'm regaining a sense of hope that I haven't felt since childhood. Like somehow my past is healed and my future is assured.

So despite how much I've gone on about loving October at the beginning of this entry, as much as I know I will miss it, I have to be where I am. That means accepting that all things end--good or bad. That means being in November when it comes. That means understanding that what I've lost, while dearly missed, is out of my grasp now. That means what will happen to me is tomorrow's business.

This entry's song I've repeated to death (which is a very good thing) this month. It's by an artist I really enjoy. I cannot wait for new material from her and this new single is a sign of really good things to come!

I leave you with a photo of a friend I made while out on a walk. What shall I name him?

Have a wunderbaaahhh rest of Octobaaaahhh! 🐑

#diary #sumire-no-nikki #Spotify

[nenilein]

As someone who's had mixed feelings on Teddie for a while now, that post genuienly helped me like him a lor more! I didnt know anything about the p4 translation so it's actually really shocking to hear about it being rushed

Thank you! I was honestly surprised how many people had that reaction going by the tags. My goal wasn't necessary to make people "like" him, but I really hate it when characters who are children are sexualized, including by calling them predators, so the accusations Teddie gets thrown his way due to how he was sadly mishandled by the localization always rubbed me a special kind of wrong.

P4's localization being rushed was common knowledge back in the 00s, but I guess that didn't carry over into the social media age after all the gaming news sites that hosted the interviews talking about it shut down and apparently nobody kept backups of them... Maybe we should try to find the translators on social media to get them to repeat their statements from back them on the record again, but I also kinda don't wanna bother these poor folks. It's been 2 decades since then, they have long moved on and might not even remember much about the experience anymore as freshly as they did when they were first interviewed. Maybe one day when I have tons of spare time I'll go diving into the wayback machine to try and find a backup of the interview, but I honestly don't even remember the name of the newssite I originally read it on...

As for the impact of this essay, I don't even mind that it didn't do anything to help Teddie in the poll; he is my favorite character in the series (and maybe of any series), yes, but P3 just got a whole remake, it makes sense its characters have an advantage. (Plus, Koro IS a good boi, even if I'm not a dog person) I am just glad so many people seem to agree that when Teddie's mental age is taken into account the accusations against him become a lot less justified. <3

#neni replies #Persona 4

[ae-azile]

I love Progression fic so much and I can't stop thinking about the whole story. The way you portrayed Kim and his inner struggle, depression and low selfworth is so accurate. I know this story doesn't have VegasPete (yet). But I can't stop thinking about the similarities between Pete and Kim in certain ways. I think out of all people Pete would be the only one who could truly get through Kim and truly understand him on deeper level. Because Pete struggled with low selfworth too (albeit a little differently) too, he was invisible and feeling unimportant. And suddenly he got into sexual relationship with very experienced Vegas (it is basically canon that Pete was virgin before and is demisexual or Vegassexual:D). I think Kim could relate a lot to Pete if these two would ever talk intimately. Because Kim's brothers, Chay and Porsche are great support to him but none of them can deeply truly understand some aspects of abandonment, inferiority feels and being demisexual (or something like that) and thus different from his peers. This fic can't leave my mind and I really love what you write, it is amazing.

Hello! I really like that comparison despite their circumstances and backgrounds being different! I think there is a definite parallel there, and it would be interesting to see how the two of them would interact if given the opportunity. I would like to bring Pete in for a cameo or two, and Vegas and Macau closer to the end. I think the main challenge that would occur with making a conversation like that happen would be how guarded Kim is in general. It might take some extensive bonding with the major and minor family for that similarity to come to light.

I also sort of headcanon Khun as unlabeled but possibly demisexual. I wrote Arm as such as well in another story. However, I feel like Khun's would stem more from trauma and would need someone who understands him deeply before taking that step. Kim is similar in some ways, but I also think it's an even "nature vs nurture" result for him. Chay himself was originally set on only wanting to sleep with someone he loved prior to making his body count higher, so part of me feels like Chay and Kim aren't as different as their sexual history make them seem. With Chay, sex provided a distraction from his frustrations and a "goal" to work towards. It wasn't necessarily an emotionally healthy and happy journey for him personally. Sex with Kim is very, VERY different for him, and Kim (despite his inexperience) likely blew all prior sex Chay has had out of the water due to that emotional aspect finally being attached to a sexual relationship, which was what Chay initially craved.

Vegas is...Vegas lol. That being said, I think his relationship with Pete now takes priority over anything else and he is someone who has always craved love (mainly familial, but romantic too after getting a taste of what it could be like at the safe house). I can see him being demiromantic. A relationship is something he mostly avoided or engaged in for his own gain, but Pete became a huge exception and it developed into something all-encompassing and permanent.

I'm so glad you like the story and it is drawing parallels like this. I do hope to introduce the minor family soon and may actually have Pete stop by during the bar visit! This ask sort of helped push me in that direction. ♥️

#Kimchay #kim and pete #depressed kim #progression spoilers #progression parallels #kimchay fic #KinnPorsche fic #VegasPete #ArmTankhun

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Kanetsugu Naoe (JP)

Sweet Love Training Part 1

One beautiful afternoon.

Today, I'm visiting the school to help Kanetsugu.

Boy: "Sensei, how do you read this?"

Kanetsugu: "It's gashinshoutan."

Kanetsugu: "It means enduring hardship to fulfill a goal, but the origin of this term is一"

(As usual, his teaching style is so precise and easy to understand.)

I know I shouldn't, but I'm tempted to watch him teach.

(No, Kanetsugu will "punish" me later.)

I hurriedly returned to organizing the letters.

This situation began yesterday when he had to deal with a visitor on behalf of Kenshin, who was on an expedition.

------------Flashback-----------

(He's been so busy these days that I haven't been able to see him much.)

As I was passing by the hall with such thoughts in my mind一

(Kanetsugu's voice?)

I happened to hear his voice coming through the door.

Kanetsugu: "You? But一"

(Huh? I feel like he's talking rather casually.)

(I wonder who and what he's talking about. I wish I could talk to him too.)

Missing him so much, I couldn't help but listen in.

Kanetsugu: "Mai?"

Mai: "!"

Suddenly, the door opened, and I met Kanetsugu's eyes.

Kanetsugu: "What are you doing here?"

Mai: "Um. Well, I'm just passing by."

Kanetsugu: "While leaning in the door like that?"

Mai: "The truth is, I heard your voice. I missed you, so I listened in."

Kanetsugu: "..............."

Kanetsugu: "I didn't ask you to answer that honestly."

Mai: "S-Sorry."

I sighed and hurriedly bowed my head.

(We haven't been able to talk recently, so I'm glad we could have this conversation.)

(I wonder if he'll be surprised again if I say something like that.)

Still, the happiness of seeing him made me relax.

(There is probably still a guest inside, but why did he come out of the room?)

(Did the meeting end early or something? If so, I wonder if we can be together after this.)

Kanetsugu: "Mai, you一"

As he was about to say something一

???: "Mai!"

I looked up when I heard a familiar voice and saw Keiji peeking out from behind Kanetsugu.

Mai: "Wait, so Keiji is the visitor?"

Keiji: "Yup! Someone else was supposed to be here, but there was a sudden change of plans!"

Kanetsugu: "Liar. You just wanted to surprise Mai and me, so you didn't tell us."

Keiji: "Kanetsugu, if you know what's going on, don't tell everyone.”

Kanetsugu: "It's my policy not to waste my time worrying about things like that."

The lighthearted banter between them was that of two good friends.

(I see. Because he was dealing with Keiji, his tone of voice was more relaxed than usual.)

The two, who haven't seen each other for a long time, are as friendly as ever, and the smile on their faces warm my heart.

Keiji: "What are you smiling at, Mai?"

Mai: "Hehe, Kanetsugu looks so lively when he's with you."

Mai: "When the person you love looks happy, it makes you happy, too."

Kanetsugu: "----!"

Keiji: "Heh."

Keiji: "You're right! I'm glad to see you guys are getting along."

Kanetsugu: "That's enough, Keiji."

He said this quietly and stood in front of Keiji, his beautiful wisteria eyes reflecting mine.

Kanetsugu: "Mai, I opened the door because I was about to ask the maid for tea. Sorry, but our discussion is still going on."

Mai: "I see."

I couldn't help but be disappointed, hoping that today would be the day we could spend some quality time together.

Mai: "Then, I'll go get the tea!"

Kanetsugu: "!"

(I can help him and see him again later. It's like killing two birds with one stone.)

I quickly turned on my heel and went to make a pot of tea.

Kanetsugu: *sigh*

Keiji: "You can't just ignore her, huh? Kanetsugu."

Kanetsugu: "Shut up, don't make fun of me."

That night一

Kanetsugu: "Mai, show some restraint."

Mai: "Restraint?"

I blinked when Kanetsugu, returning from a bath, said that to me.

Kanetsugu: "You were smiling while saying you were happy to see me having fun."

Mai: "Really?"

Kanetsugu: "Yeah. From the moment our eyes met, you were smiling like a goofball."

(Ugh, I didn't notice it.)

I was so happy to be able to talk to him that I think I lost control of my expression during the conversation.

Kanetsugu: "Sorry for making you feel lonely, but still, your face shows too much."

Kanetsugu: "Even when you delivered the tea, you were like a dog that took a thrown stick and came back."

(Dog!?)

Back then, I was carrying the tea, thinking, 'I want more attention,' so I couldn't say anything back to him.

Mai: "I apologize for my lack of discipline."

Kanetsugu: "I see. That's a good way to put it."

(It looks like he's convinced.)

(From now on, I'll be a little more careful with my words, actions, and facial expressions.)

As I was thinking that一

Kanetsugu: "This is a good opportunity for me to discipline you."

Mai: "What?"

The unheard-of statement was met with a disarming response.

Mai: "What do you mean?"

Kanetsugu: "It means exactly what it says. I'm going to teach you so that you won't have to show your emotions any more than you do now."

(What kind of talk is this!?)

Kanetsugu: "It would be good to train you not to show your emotions in the future."

Mai: "You just said that."

I'm not confident I can do it well, remembering that even before we became lovers, he had told me repeatedly, but to no avail.

Perhaps sensing my concern, he let out a small sigh.

Kanetsugu: "I'm not saying you shouldn't smile in public."

Kanetsugu: "But put yourself in my shoes. What do you think will I feel if I saw other men looking at my lover's smile?”

(Does that mean he's一!?)

Mai: "Are you jealous?"

Kanetsugu: "................"

He remained silent, his eyes like the surface of a winter lake shot through me.

(He's not denying it.)

(He really doesn't like it when other people see me smiling.)

My heart clenched at the passion hidden in his wisteria-colored eyes.

Kanetsugu: "Sorry for being selfish. Just forget about it."

Mai: "Nope! I'm happy about your feelings that I'm about to cry."

Kanetsugu: "Idiot."

Mai: ".................."

(It's not fair for him to smirk like that.)

Mai: "Kanetsugu-san, I've decided. Please train me not to show my feelings on my face!"

Kanetsugu: "But that's not what you really want."

Mai: "That's not true. It's a good opportunity for me to reflect on how much I show my emotions."

(Besides, it's not my intention to make my lover jealous.)

Mai: "I know you're busy, but I'd appreciate it if you could help me."

When I said this and bowed my head, Kanetsugu paused for a moment and一

Kanetsugu: "Okay."

Kanetsugu: "If you're sure about this, we'll get started right away."

Mai: "Yes, sensei!"

Kanetsugu: "Don't call me that."

Kanetsugu: "Anyway, I'm going to bed for now."

With that, Kanetsugu plopped down on the edge of the futon.

Mai: "Kanetsugu-san? Why are you sleeping there?"

Kanetsugu: "I think we should sleep at a distance from each other tonight."

Mai: "Why!?"

Kanetsugu: "I told you we would start right away. It's part of your training."

Mai: "But we're alone right now."

Kanetsugu: "You're easily distracted when you're not careful, so you should learn to be aware of this habit from time to time."

Mai: "That may be true, but..."

Perhaps reading my expression that I'm not convinced, he ponders for a moment and then speaks up.

Kanetsugu: "Then how about I give you a reward for being patient?"

Mai: "Reward?"

I lifted my head, feeling motivated.

Kanetsugu: "That face. Do you want something?"

Mai: "Yes, I want you."

Kanetsugu: "I'm asking about the reward."

Mai: "I know. But you're my reward."

Mai: "If I can hold back showing it on my face, let me touch you."

Kanetsugu: "Sly fox."

His softened eyes made my heart flutter.

Kanetsugu: "Then, if you show your thoughts on your face, I won't touch you at all."

Mai: "Not at all!?"

Kanetsugu: "Discipline comes with punishment."

(I hate the idea of not being touched. I have to really work hard at this!)

With renewed determination, I gently pulled his sleeve.

Mai: "Well, I'm going to start working hard tomorrow, so please exempt me from training for today."

Mai: "Please? Sensei?"

Kanetsugu: ".............."

Kanetsugu: *sigh*

Kanetsugu: "A little bit is okay, I guess."

Mai: "Oh."

Next Part

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen kanetsugu #kanetsugu naoe #ikesen jp #ikesen spoilers #ikesen translations #ikesen #ikesen keiji #cybird

[burning-sol]

Me thinking about how Ayva joined the crew like oughghgh. I think maybe me and Twigg has had a different image of how it happens, and I've never really talked about how I conceptualised it, SO HERE IS A POST FOR YOU.

So Ayva and the Riptide Pirates first came in contact at Joaldo. Ayva is very firmly on the side of the Navy and actually sets fire to the boats of the pirates to trap them on the island and leave them stranded, like they're NOT playing around here, it's all bad vibes. A lot of panic sets in but Gillion is like. Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, and with the big fuck you power of Destiny is able to put it out.

Ayva and Gillion basically just lock eyes and get in a fight, and it's really intense, but Gillion notices that Ayva isn't really.. Evil. Listen, he checked, and for a split second he saw kind eyes, and he is therefore legally obligated to give Ayva a chance to redeem themselves. This makes Ayva even angrier and she looks right about to maybe kill him, but while they've been distracted the pirates have organised their getaway, and Chip intervenes to drag Gillion away. Ayva thinks about stopping them but Gillion's words did hit her in a certain way, and they just decide to leave them be, letting the pirates get away. Ayva basically tells themselves that the Navy took over Joaldo anyways, which was the goal, so it doesn't matter (the first stage is denial).

Ayva probably takes the opportunity to interrogate people to try and find out more details about Jay's death, but it doesn't get them anywhere, and they're just left thinking while they get everything in order at Joaldo. Gillion's words have definitely had an affect on her, and it starts to sink in that Ayva hasn't been getting anywhere with their current strategy. Ayva thinks a lot before having the brilliant idea that they SHOULD take up Gillion on his word, and just fucking infiltrate the pirates!! Uh oh!!! So Ayva tracks down the Riptide Pirates!!!!! UH OH!!!!!

Ayva ditches the Navy without telling anyone the reason why except their family, so RAFT is basically having some... Internal issues while they try to cope with the disappearance of a pretty important Navy figure. Surely this will have no consequences later (KIRA......)

Anyways, Ayva catches up with Gillion and Chip and is like, "Oh hey, you really changed my mind and I realised the Navy is bad, you should make me a part of your crew." It's super sus but news has already spread about Ayva ditching the Navy, so it is a bit more believable. Gillion is like, "Wow, this is great, I'm glad you changed your mind!! Sure!!!" but Chip is soooo suspicious. For obvious reasons. And he is right. But Gillion manages to convince Chip that they should give Ayva a chance, so Chip reluctantly agrees. Do you want to add Ayva to your crew? WARNING: the following decision may have significant consequences.

Anyways, yeag, so then they proceed to go on some fun adventures. I'm aware if we went by the original timeline there wouldn't be that much time for them to bond, so events are probably shuffled around or maybe some original stuff is added.. But yeag, basically they get to have a lot of fun, do some stupid shit, and Ayva's weakness is revealed. Gillion shows that he really trusts Ayva and gives her the third necklace from Desire Island that him and Chip hadn't known what to do with, and Ayva realises just how fucked they are. Whenever Ayva thinks of them getting hurt, she's scared, because they don't want them to die like Jay. Ayva is really attached to the crew, and so they know they have a really difficult decision ahead of them.

THE BLOCK MAN THE BLOCK..

Okay so this is closing the end of this little tangent. But I think in the room where the Albatrio had initially spilt their secrets, Ayva also doesn't answer what her biggest secret is, but for a different reason. Ayva doesn't usually freeze up, but probably the biggest ultimatum of their entire life is flashing right before their eyes and they don't know how they're meant to deal with that, so she doesn't say anything. Chip gets REALLY mad at Ayva, he still doesn't entirely trust them and this basically just affirms his mistrust, but Ayva doesn't even say much of anything. She just becomes quiet and they keep to themselves.

When Jayson comes out, and the truth comes out about what had been Ayva's intentions, Gillion is just destroyed and Chip is ready to ditch her. Jayson tells Ayva to leave the pirates behind and to come back to the Navy, and Ayva is still quiet. And then Ayva is just like "FUCK YOU" and 1v1s their dad and tries to beat the shit out of him. Gillion and Chip get the most intense whiplash of their life as Ayva is just absolutely trying to knock out their dad, Gillion is left pogging and champing and Chip is staring like so surprised. Anyways, FUCK JAYSON, they escape the BLOCK and Ayva is undeniably a fucking Riptide Pirate now.

Chip and Ayva have not been getting along, but yo Chip daps Ayva up because that was the most METAL shit that's ever happened. And Ayva is so like utterly done with the Navy man, they're not going to let anyone hurt her boyz, they're her boyz.

Anyways, yeah. Hope that helps contextualise this post.

#jrwi spoilers #jrwi riptide spoilers #📚 my posts #📌 thoughts #jrwi canary au #tried to infiltrate the pirates but now ive adopted the pirates as my boyz and i wont let anyone hurt them #anyways im sure there will be no consquences relating to joaldo (LIELIELIELIE)

[amalgamateofficial]

Hi!

I’ve been following the story for a while but more as a lurker (sorry) and just started checking out your tumblr and other projects (very cool art btw!!)

But I was just kind of curious—if you don’t mind me asking, how do you figure out how long a chapter should be? Do you sort of feel it out or is it about getting a certain part of the story in one section? I dabble in writing but can never figure out chapter lengths, and thought you might have a method when I saw you mention how long 20 was specifically.

Take your time with the chapter, I’ll be waiting patiently! Happy new year and hope life starts going more smoothly haha

Hiya! So nice to hear from you -- and thank you for checking out my art! I'm so glad you like it! :D

So, when it comes to deciding the length of a chapter, I like each one to have its own mini-narrative because that ensures that each chapter is satisfying on its own. I'm gonna use a few examples from Amalgamate, so I'll put them under the cut to avoid spoiling anything for anyone who isn't caught up :)

So, chapter 6 is probably a good example of what I'm talking about. The crux of chapter 6 is: "oh no, there's no antidote, what do we do?" That means the chapter can't reach a satisfying conclusion until we do find the antidote and Maki commits multiple crimes against the Geneva Conventions to make Kokichi drink it. After she does that, however, there's still a major story beat that's not resolved, which is "Kokichi drank the antidote, but is he actually gonna wake up?" The unresolved conclusion to the chapter 6 narrative is what'll make readers want to read chapter 7.

And then chapter 7 follows a similar pattern. The goal is: Kaito needs to tell everyone the entire hangar/Exisal story before Kokichi wakes up. So, Kaito tells the entire story, but the chapter still ends with the question of whether or not Kokichi's actually waking up. The main goal was accomplished in chapter 7, but it still opened up a new path for the narrative of chapter 8.

The mini narratives don't have to be blatantly obvious either, since that runs the risk of making all the chapters seem formulaic. I think chapter 13's a good example. My goal for the chapter was the same as Kokichi's: make a Searchlight speedrun happen. But new readers (and poor Kaito, bless his heart) don't know Kokichi's goal until he finally forces it to happen in the final third of the chapter. Regardless, the chapter's battle plan for me was: set up that Kokichi has a plan (which is secretly the speedrun), trigger the plan (which is to do the speedrun), and set up the next narrative (which is, "what in the world did the speedrun actually do to Kokichi and why is he suddenly acting like a wannabe discount Mikan post-DR2 trial 3?").

But when it comes to the length of chapter 20, I'll admit I didn't actually reach my goal XD Thankfully, that ended up not being a bad thing, though. I went into the chapter with a certain stopping point in mind, but every scene in the chapter ended up requiring so much more time than I expected, and about halfway through, I realized reaching my original goal would make chapter 20 the length of "War and Peace." But there was still a mini goal I could reach on the way, and when I got there, it ended up feeling just as satisfying as the original ending because it still sets up an "okay, and" for the next chapter. Or, at least, I hope it'll feel that way! I guess we'll find out soon ;;;;;

Sorry, I'm rambling way too much here! I get a bit too excited when it comes to writing, so I hope that accidental essay was actually helpful XD Feel free to ask me questions anytime, though! I really do love talking about writing :)

[a-tale-never-told]

Important Announcement!

//Greetings amazing readers, Mod Sam here with another post about the status of what I'm going to do for the next two weeks.//

//Firstly, I just want to give a major shout-out to those who supported me last night during my mental rant about my insecurities as a writer and the state of this blog. @freezethunder @spyrkle4 @deustux @ghostshadow-k-r @cicicookie12 @tired-writer-in-progress and the entirety of you all. I'm so glad that I have such supportive people and fans in my life and I'm grateful and appreciate the support massively ^^. You all are amazing and special and never forget that!^^.

//That being said I have been giving this a bit of thought and with how much work I'm going to do next week, I have decided to take a break from writing the story a bit, in order to refresh and get a better direction for the rest of the blog, in terms of writing, quality, better presentation and especially the explanation of the premise.//

// I have to pretty much take a break from writing for I'm guessing two weeks so I can focus on my studies and how I'm writing the story and plot going forward. Two weeks for me is at least enough time to figure out where I'm at and try to improve on most of the issues with this blog. I might be active on the weekends and Fridays, but that's mainly to post the history stuff so you can all as an audience understand what is this world, and how it ties very much with our own.//

// The history essays are certainly now going to be an important part of this blog as an explanation tool as well. I originally planned to introduce my first history essay once the arc had concluded, but with the lack of asks in the past few days, I can almost guarantee that it's mostly due to the lack of historical knowledge most of my audience has. So I am now forced to introduce these posts earlier than I planned to, which is honestly an improvement. For one, I get to talk about a certain topic that I love, and two, it allows you all an insight into the complex and interesting world of history.//

// I've also decided to stop comparing myself to other story blogs, as not only are they far more experienced and have flexible schedules compared to me, but it also makes me come off as a bit of a douchebag towards the other blogs. Obviously, this is not the intention, but it still gives off a terrible, almost Nerdrotic-like look when you openly compare yourself to people who are evidently more experienced than you. It's not a great look, so to speak.//

//What's funny is that when you think about it, this entire blog is just ASOOT with alternate history sprinkled onto it, like a salad. But I want this blog to be so much more than just that!. I want this blog to grow, to expand into reaches beyond what any blog has really done before, with the story, with the characters, with the lore. I want a TV Tropes page, for crying out loud!. But it is obvious that by comparing myself to other blogs, I'm only doing more harm than good. Hence why I have decided to put an end to that.//

// I haven't decided on a time schedule as of yet, but I'm most active on days when I'm not busy or occupied with any tasks or work to do, so I can do that for now. I'll update you guys on that when I finally decide on a flexible time schedule.//

//I have massive plans for this blog going forward with future arcs, especially with the rest of the characters. Harumi and Tenmei, the Kuzuryus, Nikolai, Nidai's dads, and the rest of them, I have massive plans and goals that I genuinely want to share with the rest of you and the story blog community. After all, it's going to be a long way untill we reach the peak of the mountaintop. I just pray that you all still will be with me once I get there.//

//Thanks to everyone who supported me so far, and has followed this story blog's progress from the very beginning. You all are amazing people and I cannot stress how much I value your kindness and words on this site. Thank you for making this blog a reality, despite all the hardship. And just remember to those who might've not heard of my blog or seen it as of yet, I recommend you should, as it's certainly an interesting experience. Don't be afraid and hit the follow button for A Tale Never Told. I promise you that you won't be disappointed and bored^^

//This is Mod Sam from A Tale Never Told, signing out. Take care and have a good one, everybody^^

#mod talks #a tale never told #story post

[bomberqueen17]

Are you a published author? I adore your peace tied series and how you handle characters with immense trauma and how you write younger people and children. Ive read a lot of your other work as well and throughly enjoyed it even though its about characters I dont usually like. Also elves being rodents is wonderfully cursed and I think about it 12 times a day

Ha, no, I am only published on AO3. I have had too much trouble keeping focus on original works; writing original stuff is so lonely, nobody wants to read it, and I rely so heavily on having people to bounce ideas off, having regular commenters responding to what I've put out, having people to talk to, that I have never managed to finish an original work. (My first serious attempt, in 2004, ballooned to over a million words before I gave up; I could keep going, but I couldn't do anything productive with it, and couldn't conclude it. If you look back at my AO3 history you can see that after having quit writing entirely, and then finally letting myself pick up fanfic again, I steadily chronologically improve how far I get in finishing stories and series, until the Star Wars stuff in 2016ish I think, which is notably an enormous, finished, coherent series. (The offshoot stuff, I did not finish, but had never intended to; I was only ever going to write that until I ran out of time, which is what happened.)

So I've basically been teaching myself extreme long-form writing with fanfic, but the most important thing I've been teaching myself is how to manage ideas and how to finish them. The Witcher, as we round the corner into my third year of writing it, has let me explore a lot of things including collaborations with other writers and with an artist, which has been really exciting.

So I do have, as an ultimate goal, the idea that I'll hopefully find enough collaborators to help me finish some original works-- I have a couple of ideas I have been nurturing along for years, some for decades at this point. But the journey has really been the fun bit, for a while now.

I'm glad you're enjoying the journey with me! :)

#about the author #my writing #about my writing #fanfic #asks answered #what a nice nonny

[poor-sickies]

Could you do "arm in a sling" with Keith? Insisting he can still fight since he's ambidextrous and can use his sword with his uninjured arm just fine?

Read my post first! - TLDR: I'm releasing unfinished drafts!

Okay, we're starting with a good one! This was one of my favourite prompts, but I guess I never really finished it properly as I wanted.

My original concept (written back in 2018): It was a bad fight, and they come back at night, he's got a dislocated shoulder, broken radius, broken clavicle, cracked humerus, so his arm pretty much destroyed lmao, is in a sling and strapped to his chest. He spends the night in pain, until Coran digs up some painkillers to soothe the pain. Then he's bored and insists on training like that. Shiro says no, but finds him later in the training room, actually doing well. Shiro drags Keith away and sends him to Hunk, who is repairing Keith's lion. They kinda lay there, Hunk fixing the lion, Keith passing him the tools, and they have a heart to heart.

Comments (written now): So with this one my main goal was to have a cute scene with Keith and Hunk hanging out - because it was such a wholesome friendship, and I would have loved to see it more on the show. I have some stuff written with the two of them on other fics, but this one would probably be the more canon-ish setting I ever wrote (or tried to). Sadly, I did not get to write it :( I have a very clear picture of how they’d interact here - Hunk is repairing Red, and Keith, after breaking his arm, and just being unable to do much in general, feeling kinda groggy from painkillers, and after being dragged there by Shiro, sits with Hunk, helping him out, passing tools, while they’re both talking. But that’s the ending scene - of course I wanted to self indulge, and have some injury after care. So this all starts with Keith being treated in the infirmary by Shiro and Coran, and just having a really bad night. All while hating the hassle of recovery in general.

Well... have fun!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This should keep it stable enough," Coran says, adjusting the strap around Keith's torso.

At times like this, Shiro is immensely glad Coran has some sort of medical training. Cryopods were a blessing, of course, but with a war going on and damage to the ship happening this often, couldn't be operational all the time. Unfortunately, it always seemed like the worst time possible to have them down.

He makes a move to help Keith out of the infirmary bed, but Keith looks down, not wanting to go just yet, and frowns, tugging on the sling, eyeing it with discomfort.

And as much as Shiro agrees that yes, it does totally suck to wear a sling, this time it's undiscussable.

Keith had managed to break his collarbone, dislocate his shoulder, and break just about every bone you could break in an arm. A hairline fracture on his humerus, and a clean one right across his ulna and radius were enough to grant him some time in a sling by themselves, much more with his shoulder and clavicle in the state they were in.

And Keith surely understands the necessity, of course. The list of injuries was far more than usual, and all of it on his left arm.

That doesn't make him less grouchy.

"How long do I have to keep it like this?" He asks, his right hand pointing to the sling. It's dark blue, similar to the ones on earth, and goes over his shoulder, with an additional strap around his ribs, effectively restricting any kind of movement.

Shiro takes in how tired and dishevelled he looks, the pent up energy from the battle long gone, making him appear smaller and more fragile than usual.

"Not long if the cryopods go online soon," Coran says, back turned to them, as he tidies up the medical box.

"But without cryopods, a couple of weeks at the very least," Shiro warns him, apologetically.

Keith groans, as Shiro helps him out of the bed.

He's in pain, despite not wanting to admit it. He keeps his head down, and tries his best not to jostle his left side.

"I can get to my room alright, Shiro," Keith points out, with no real bite in his voice. He's too tired for it.

"I know," Shiro says, with a friendly (and careful) pat on his back, "just keeping you company on the way."

Keith doesn't say anything else until they get to his room.

His red jacket is still thrown across his bed, like he left it this afternoon, before the emergency beacon activated and he had to change into his armour with a half unusual rush.

Fortunately Shiro had brought one of his comfy t-shirts to the infirmary before Coran fitted his sling, or else the painful process would have to be repeated so he could change. But he was still using his under suit, the top part falling around his waist.

Shiro picks up his red paladin pyjama pants and gently asks if he needs help.

“I’m fine,” Keith mumbles, trying to push his under suit down. The stretchy material doesn’t move much, and Keith only manages to push it down to his mid thigh, before giving up with a frustrated sigh.

Shiro places the pair of pants in Keith's lap, and kneels in front of him, to pull at the ankles of the suit, letting it come out like a snake shedding skin.

Keith lets him put each of his legs in the red pyjama pants, and stands to pull them up clumsily.

"Thanks," he says, stifled and low.

"Try to get some sleep," Shiro advises as he tucks the sheets around him, "you need to rest. And call if you need anything."

Keith nods, shifting to the side a little to find a somewhat comfortable position.

He supposes it's in vain.

The first few hours go by in a haze. It's dark and silent, only the noise of rustling sheets as he moves. His arm aches, through his shoulder and collarbone, flaring up with pain every time he rolls over. He doesn't know what time it is, but it really makes no difference. It's not like he feels capable of getting up for anything either. The others are probably asleep by now, there are no cryopods available, and whatever medicine there is out there would probably kill him.

He tries counting sheep, breathing exercises, laying really still - but his body doesn't want to sleep.

Keith almost doesn't believe it when his clock reaches seven AM, Earth time, and he hasn't slept at all.

Shiro comes to check on him, before his morning workout. He's still in his sweatpants, the black ones with the lion slippers, and from his face, wasn't expecting to see him awake.

"You woke up early," he comments with a half smile, stepping inside, and sits on the bed, next to Keith. "How did you sleep?"

Keith chuckles, humourlessly, and he's so glad it's Shiro here and that he's able to be honest. "I didn't."

Shiro grimaces. "At all?"

"No."

Shiro moves closer, and sits on the edge of the mattress.

"How bad is the pain?" he asks, taking in the dark circles around Keith's eyes and the careful way he moves.

"Worse than usual," Keith admits. At this point, there's no point in hiding it. He feels terrible. His vision swims with exhaustion, and his arm throbs. Hell, he needs sleep, but how is he supposed to with his arm hurting like this?

Shiro shakes his head. "Well I'm gonna get Coran. You need painkillers and rest. You look terrible."

Keith doesn't argue this time, and lets Shiro cover him back with his blankets and tuck him in. The prospect of being able to sleep soon and having some pain relief brings him some comfort. He lays back and relishes in it.

Shiro doesn’t take long to come back, with two pills and a glass of water.

“Here,” Shiro says, “Coran said these don’t have many side effects, you’ll just feel a little lightheaded when you wake up. Just try to sleep, and call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks Shiro,” Keith mumbles tiredly, head back to the pillow. Shiro dims the lights and closes the door.

It’s four hours later when Keith wakes up again, confused and groggy, but his arm doesn’t hurt anymore. He sits up slowly, his balance a little thrown off with only one able arm, and rubs his eyes.

He shuffles slowly to the lounge, not caring about his hair probably sticking a various directions. He's not as tired anymore, but he still feels pretty off.

#m #vld #voltron legendary defender #keith vld #a writes #injury #anonymous #ask #bad things happen bingo

[browniefox]

The Final Crisis Core Playthrough Post!

Might end up making a video or something that kind of puts all my thoughts on the game together, but I'll leave it as this for now.

I feel like I'm always harping on the same things, but this game is always trying to get me to care about characters that it hasn't set up well before hand. I think there's something interesting about Cissnei, but there's not enough interactions with her for me to really care about her, and them trying to be like 'hey, don't you care what her read name is???' just makes me dislike her more tbh. I appreciate she's looking out for Zack, but there's just not a lot there for me. Who knows, maybe she'll end up being super cool in Rebirth.

It's also funny to me that she's like 'wow Zack, coming to Gongaga? Of course they're looking for you here' but Zack makes it sound like he kind of came here by accident.

Hollander and his dumb ass little wing. Also, in this light, Genesis is doing pretty well for himself, all things considered.

Genesis' goal is just... It's all over the place. I was sort of beginning to understand him, but this last section of the game I just stop being able to get a read on him. What I hate most is the lack of feeling like anything has changed for him. It's been four years, and sure Zack's life was at a standstill, but the rest of the world shouldn't have been. I'm glad the game let me finally kill Hollander, though, I've been wanting to do that for hours.

And I guess right now they've decided they need Cloud's S Cells? Why do they think S Cells will work? Are they just grasping at straws? I think they are.

How has nobody talked about Lazard???? I thought what happened to him was a mystery bc I've never heard anyone mention that apparently he became an Angeal copy to survive or whatever the purpose was again. It's so weird to see him with Angeal's face.

I think there's something interesting, though, with us finally getting to learn a little bit more about the connection between the copy and the original, with Lazard mentioning he's been feeling some Angeal emotions or whatever. We never get to hear what his deal was though. I know it's implied he's a Shinra bastard, but I guess I think it would have hit better as text rather than subtext.

I do think it's cool that the shelling of Banora was one of the first things to happen in the game, and now we're back here and we get to see the fallout. At least it looks pretty. I think there's only one Banora White tree left, from the looks of it? I'd love to be able to come here in Rebirth, though I have a feeling we won't.

Are you trying to tell me that Genesis was the first person to think of making apple juice??? Yeah, sorry, don't believe it. This party just feels... weird. Like, I think it's supposed to hint to something? Like, something about the juice? I was just too caught by surprise by Genesis the Apple Juice Inventor.

I realize he didn't invent apple juice but just, uh, was the first to decide to juice Banora Whites? Was there something stopping them from doing so before?

The dungeon in this section also does not have to be this long. Bull shit dungeon.

Okay, so now there's a weird statue that was under Banora. Okay. I believe it's said or implied that whatever this thing is is what gave Banora White's their special taste or whatever or special properties, I wish it was gone into before. Is that why the trees were fruiting at weird times of the year? At least Genesis seems to believe this is what he was looking for.

It's sort of interesting that Genesis looks and Zack and goes 'Ah, you have both Angeal and Sephiroth in you, and thus we are all reunited', but like, that makes it seem like Zack will then get some part of Genesis to me, but that never happens.

The armor looks cool, but it made me expect a much cooler fight than I ended up having. The fighting in this ends up being just spamming spells, which isn't all that fun tbh. I like that Genesis' face was kind of cracking as he was getting the power of the Goddess, but then he's totally rejuvenated after this which is soooo lame.

Why and how does he claim this power anyway? It's one of the more minor questions, tbh. This is going to sound weird, bc god I could not get thi guy to stop talking about loveless, but I wish there was more Loveless? Like, that we could get a better understanding of the epic to better see how it fits the story of Genesis, Angeal, and Seph.

I do kind of like that Genesis at this point is still fighting. Like, he doesn't seem to understand when to throw in the towel - it's why he's been trying to find a cure this whole time. I kind of see it as what was probably once one of his best qualities, but now has become one of his worst.

I think this is supposed to be, like, the Goddess from Loveless, right? But, is that the same as the Planet? Is she some Ancient from long ago? Something else? These aren't questions that I necessarily need answered, but if would be nice to know if, you know answers to them did exist. I do think this whole scene is very pretty at least, and you get the idea that Genesis might even be coming to some sort of revelation about like, his life and what all of this is, and I for sure thought he died here.

I also think it's sad that Zack keeps getting into this situations where people are essentially using him as a form of suicide. How mean, he's just a nice little guy! Stop being mean to him :(

Wow, reunion of the Firsts. You have Lazard as Angeal, Genesis as himself, and Cloud as Sephiroth, how touching. I just, ugh, I was so done with this story by the time I got here. Like it’s a nice picture, and you get the idea they’re going for something, but it falls flat to me. Also,  Lazard says that they were attacked, and I realize it would have been more work, but I wish they would have done something to the area to look like there had just been some sort of fight here. I could easily believe otherwise that Lazard just fell down and died bc he looks that shitty. No offense. Also damn, the dog dies too :( 

And also we all get to eat an apple? Do the apples have something special going on with them or not? I got the impression they do from what I’ve heard other people say, and maybe I’m just not picking up on it bc I’m going through the story too quickly or something, but the pieces are just not coming together for me. I’m planning to watch both the CC and CCR cutscenes after this to get some other opinions and also to try and get a better grasp on all of this, so hopefully that will help…? 

Oh my God, I do kind of like the detail that Zack had no idea it’s been four years. I mean, why would he know how long it’s been. That being said, however, why hasn’t anyone else mentioned how long it’s been? Maybe they don’t realize he wasn’t able to account for that time or something, but still. It does break my heart that Aerith has been writing letters this whole time, but just now she’s finally giving up. 

Bye bye Genesis, see you in Dirge or whatever. For some reason I thought it ended with him, like, encased in crystal? I realize that that Zack really only has room for one comatose friend, but you couldn't have put Genesis somewhere a little better? Then again, he is a little bitch, and where else would he want to be than as close to home as possible? Not that he stayed there very long, of course.

Again, we see that the Turks care at least somewhat for Zack, and not just Cissnei. Either it’s because Tseng likes Zack or because he cares about Aerith, and tbh I’d take either answer. I think it’s nice that he’s been holding on to the letters she’s tried to send to Zack, that Tseng hasn’t thrown them away but clearly has always planned to give them to Zack, should he ever turn up. I do like Tseng a little more after this game, at least. 

I know that this game expects you to have played FFVII before hand, but I wish some of the repeat cutscenes were done more justice, like this one in the back of the truck. For a game that deals with the time between Nibelheim and Midgar, I kinda was hoping for more of these moments between Zack and Cloud. 

Ugh, this moment is good though, Cloud reaching out for Zack, probably the most he’s moved in years, but Zack has his back turned and is walking away. We all know what’s coming. 

I didn’t take a lot of screenshots during the fight. I wish it had let you fight them until you couldn’t fight any longer instead of ending it earlier. The way the DMW breaks down over the course of the battle is heartbreaking! I think it’s cool to interpret it as, like, Zack losing faith in those people, his loss in hope of what they thought, they believed, or maybe losing the values that they thought were important or something. And the way that Aerith’s DMW held on so long. When I tell you I screamed the first time he’s came up, and I almost cried when the it finally disappeared. And that grueling end fight! Where it’s you against three simple infantrymen, but Zack at this point is so tired and exhausted he can barely lift the buster sword. Oh my god, at least they did this part super well. 

Okay, my switch wouldn’t let me take screenshots of the ending cutscene, boo, but here’s my thoughts on that. 

God that last scene is so brutal.

Zack bleeding out and dying, and it not shying away from showing the blood and how painful and sad this is. And Cloud, managing to crawl over. I already knew this scene, but it still hit super strongly. Like, how relieved must Zack hae been to hear Cloud talk for the first time in ages? To say his name? Confirmation that Cloud was still in there and still cared about him? And all he can offer him now is a purpose and a weapon to carry on. And the way Cloud SCREAMS at the end! And Aerith looking upward, and you know that she can feel that Zack is dead. I have just have one problem, and that’s that it becomes a music video??? Like, why the hell would you do that? 

I also like the detail that the post-credit scene is the opening to FFVII. Very nice touch in my opinion. 

In summary, I like a lot of the ideas and themes that Crisis Core says it's going to deal with, and most of the ways that it expands the FFVII universe, but i wish it was better and more thoughtfully written. Everything feels so rushed, and like it's going a million miles an hour, and I don't get the chance to get attached to people as much as I wanted to.

#ffvii #ff7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #crisis core #crisis core reunion #browniefox speaks #brownie plays ccr

[tuulikannel]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

So I already got this twice so I guess I should try to get an answer out ^^;; It's... really a tough task though, but here we go! I can’t really pick a clear favorite of them all, so they’re just in random order. (Or actually, I guess they're in the order in which they've last been updated/posted.)

1. Caught Between, my Hikaru no Go fic where Sai's a real kid with dreams of turning go pro, an intersex condition, and not... the greatest parents in the world, I guess. (His mom has grown on me though.) I've talked about this fic a lot before, so I'll just say that I'm so glad I finally started posting it and that I've managed to nearly reach the end - still need to wrap things up, but at Sai's finally where he wants to be in live, so in that regard, all's fine.

2. blind alley, Assassination Classroom fic which, as usual for me, is basically about Shuu's relationship with his dad. The summary is rather short: "One day, Gakushuu decides to end it all. Just, all does not end that easily." I've said it before, I don't even know why I like this fic so much. Maybe I'm just a sucker for sad things? I don't think I've ever said anything about the title, have I? Cause this is a rare case where I didn't have to struggle to come up with a title only to end up with something mediocre. I was originally going to name this Dead End, cause stupid puns & Shuu being in a sense stuck in one, but then realized that blind alley refers to the same thing, plus it has the word "blind" in it... and you could say Shuu is blind to the truth for a good while there. (why I decided not to capitalize it, I don't know. Sometimes things just look better like that to me.)

3. oneironautics, AssClass & The Sandman crossover (no knowledge of Sandman required.) Again, Shuu and his dad are in the spotlight. It's just that I like Gakushuu, I found Gakuhou simply... intriguing. What's going on his brain? How did he really go so crazy? I've never felt like Ikeda's death would have been quite enough for that. They hadn't even been in touch for years! So, yeah, I guess one goal for me in this fic was to create him one potential background where all the problems have their roots. Also, writing dreams is fun. ^^

4. Ok, those first three were clear, but now it's getting hard. I've two random Hikaru no Go fics in mind here... maybe I'll pick the one that showcases my fic-naming abilities, It’s the Zombie Apocalypse! XD Its birth was absolute randomness, once upon a time in the hikago community on Dreamwidth people were playing Let’s Five on Hikago Day. Someone asked who'd be the five characters who'd survive the zombie apocalypse, and reading the answers I was attacked by a rabid plotbunny. This fic... it was just so fun to write. And I like how it's got a true ending and a bad ending (the reader's choice determines which you get.) (And, dammit, I'll mention the other fic I was just considering too: Chika-go, the Hikago & Dresden Filess crossover. Another fic that was really fun to write. And it has my first ever battle scenes. XD Also, I like the title for various reasons. ^^)

5. Then, finally: The End of Silence (The All Paths Lead to God of Go Remix), yet one more Hikago fic. This is perhaps a bit surprising choice, but I can’t help it… there’s something about this little fic I really like. It’s a remix, as you see (tho in all honesty it’s more like a sequel than a real remix, I feel), of Flonnebonne’s drabble The Silent Path where Akari, not Hikaru, was the one to end up with Sai. I had always wanted to write about Akari more, but somehow never had any inspiration. This (though I'm sure it's not exactly what anyone expects XD) fixed that.

#I feel like The House should have been mentioned in this too... #assassination classroom #hikaru no go #my fics #asks

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

books i read in march and april!

haven't done this in a while so here we go ❤️ put under a readmore bc i realised it's incredibly long lmao

Perhaps the Stars by Ada Palmer

are you bored of hearing me talk about this series yet?? when i left off last time i had almost finished it, but i had to mention it one last time. read these books guys PLEASE they're amazing!!

Disobedient Bodies by Emma Dabiri

i wanted something completely different so i went for this very short non-fiction book about bodies and beauty standards in society. although many of the basic ideas weren't new to me, i really liked the approach dabiri takes where she actually tries to suggest solutions to issues rather than just describe them. she looks at these issues "under the light of different suns", using non-western systems of thought to see these issues in a different way. i would really recommend if you're interested in these issues!

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

i spent almost the whole month of march (8th - 30th) FINALLY reading moby dick. aside from the feeling of achievement and ticking off one of my reading goals, i actually really really enjoyed it?!? i've always imagined melville as similar to dickens (whose writing i hate) and so i wasn't expecting to like it very much, but i actually found it a lot lighter than dickens. would highly recommend to anyone who wants to read a really good book or learn some outdated information about whales

Just the Plague by Ludmila Ulitskaya

i wanted to like this so bad but it just didn't quite hit for me. it was originally meant as a screenplay and you can definitely tell, it's quite sparse and doesn't really delve massivley into any aspect of the story. this isn't necessarily a failing, but i've found recently that i really dislike this about books. it's about a worker in an infectious disease research lab who becomes contaminated with the bubonic plague by accident and gets on a train to moscow before realising. it focuses on the state's reaction to this threat, so is more of a heavy-handed comment on authoritarianism than a compelling story. still interesting, but just not quite what i wanted from the premise (which sounded great)

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu

i really REALLY enjoyed this one. it had so many twists and turns and was incredibly exciting, even with all the in-depth explanations of maths and physics theories. i will definitely try to read the others in the series and watch the show!

Tell Me How Long the Train's Been Gone by James Baldwin

i absolutely adored this book. it's brilliantly written, it feels very vast and grand, which perfectly matches the story. it's about an actor who has had a heart attack in his late thirties and, on the brink of death, reflects on his entire life. it really feels like a quintessential Great American Novel, it's got all the themes of social mobility, determination, family and class that i really associate with that genre, as well as that feeling of vastness that i feel every good bildungsroman has. i also think that the themes of race and sexuality, which are also key threads in the novel, actually make it more relevant as a Great American Novel even while they are the reasons baldwin's work has historically been excluded from this canon. i'm going to read as much of his fiction as i can!!

Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk

delightfully weird and very fun. i really enjoyed it! it's about this weird old woman (who is also the narrator - you know i love a fucked-up narrator) who lives in an isolated community in poland where strange deaths start occurring. i would recommend if you enjoy any kind of 'weird girl' fiction, this is otessa moshfegh on steroids.

The Spy Who Came In from the Cold by John Le Carré

i've been meaning to read le carré for ages and i'm SO glad i did, i absolutely loved this book. you can really tell how his writing is the BLUEPRINT for basically the whole spy/thriller genre as it exists today. i hate calling books 'page-turners' but this really was, i couldn't tear myself away and ended up finishing it in just one day. would HIGHLY recommend, i have since bought two more of his books and i intend to keep reading them.

Scorched Grace by Margot Douaihy

this is about a tattooed ex-punk guitarist lesbian nun who solves mysteries. it's not the kind of thing i usually gravitate towards (i like my detectives more pathetic than cool) but it was published by pushkin vertigo and the pull quote on the cover was by gillian flynn, so i was curious. i expected to not like the protagonist very much but to be compelled by the mystery - in the end, i found the opposite to be true. it's written with the exact cadence of a classic noir, and very firmly set in new orleans (the city itself is almost a character). although she still made me cringe sometimes, the detective was compelling and i am interested in what happens to her. what i found especially interesting was her deep religious convictions - this aspect of the novel is not a gimmick, but its real beating heart. unfortunately, the mystery itself wasn't very well written, but with such a good protagonist i'll still read the sequel (also i want to see how this nun could possibly be in the vicinity of another murder)

Butter by Asako Yuzuki

this was absolutely amazing. at it's core it's about desire, and how society pressures people (especially women) into resisting their desires to please other people. it's about a journalist who befriends a serial killer for a story but finds herself drawn into the killer's worldview. psychological thriller with lots of vital social commentary PLUS a lot of food writing??? made for me. my dad actually came up to me and specifically recommended it and said he almost bought it for me and i said thank you but i bought that book literally yesterday lmao

on my radar

i actually put myself on a book-buying ban, and then the sunshine court came out in paperback so. i bought it and i'm going to start it imminently lol. other books i'm planning to read soon are dune (i'm fed up of everyone else having read it) and a call for the dead by john le carré. if u read this far ily ❤️

#this is my blog and i'll post as many little book reviews as i want and none of you can stop me ❤️ #i'm having such a good time #pinkie reads #🧃